#if it's a bad morning and she doesn't have her tablet sometimes dad will come in and he'll sing to her and she'll calm down instantly

[nolanhattrick]

i love seeing all these accounts like raising kevin and toren wolf and tori phantom and god i can't remember her name but there's this mom of a threeish year old little girl that posts pretty regularly and it's just. it's so good to see autism in both parents and adults being talked about especially across races but it's even better to see that the kids don't mask. toren especially talks all the time about how his mom has ensured he's had a life polar opposite to her, she's shielded him from the evils she experienced and it's... i am so glad the next generation of kids like us are being nurtured and protected.

[finelinevogue]

the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚

P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable

anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children

so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;

tw: vomiting, ppd and od

oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks

Motherhood was really fucking hard.

The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.

It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.

“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.

“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.

But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.

“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.

You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.

Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.

There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.

“You two boys okay?”

You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.

“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.

“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.

“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.

His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.

“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”

Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.

“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”

“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.

“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.

“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.

“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.

“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.

The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.

Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.

You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.

You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.

There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.

Last night had been that night.

Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.

You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.

It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.

“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.

You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.

“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.

Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.

“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.

“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.

“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”

“She’s really tired all of the times.”

“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.

Hell, was he so wrong.

“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”

“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.

Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.

He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.

Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.

“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.

999

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”

The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.

Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.

It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.

Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.

You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’

“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.

“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.

“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”

“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”

“Stop yes I do I—”

“Harry please you don’t owe—”

“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.

“Harry, you don’t mean—”

“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”

“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.

“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.

“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”

“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”

“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”

“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”

“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.

Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.

“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.

“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.

“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”

You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”

“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”

“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”

Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.

“I’m proud of you.”

[miraculousamara]

Adrienette AU:

Part 1: Meeting The Bluenette

Adrien's POV:

"I know that the move is going to be hard on you, but please try to settle in." My father says

"I understand dad. I know how important this job is to you and mom." I say 🙂

"Thank you son. You have no idea how much your support means to us." He says 🙂

"So where is my new school gonna be?" I ask my father

"Your bodyguard and I will take you on your first day." He says

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Morning

"Adrien! Time to get ready for school this morning!" My mother says

"Coming!" I say

I can't wait to make new friends.

I rush downstairs.

"Adrien, I have your schedule for today." Nathalie says handing me a tablet.

Not bad, I only have chinese and a photoshoot today.

"Don't tell your father, but I got you croissants and cookies from the best bakery in town." My mother says 😉

"Thanks mother." I say hugging her.

"You better get going, your father and your Bodyguard are waiting in the limo." She says

"See you after school" I say

"I'll see you then." She says

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

In the car

"Have a good first day son."

"And make some friends."

"I will."

I get out of the car and slowly walk inside the school.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"Oh my god! It's Adrien Agreste!" Many people scream. 🗣

"Adrikins!" Chloe, my only childhood friend says

"Oh hey Chloe." I say nervously

"You're in the same class as me! I'll show you the way!" She says snatching my schedule out of my hand.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"You're Adrien Agreste, correct?" The teacher asks

"Yeah." I say with a small smile.

"Nice to meet you. 🙂 I'm Caline Bustier, but you can just call me Miss Bustier." She says

"Okay, thanks Miss Bustier." I say

"You can go ahead and sit in the back next to Marinette, she's the girl wearing the hoodie."

"Okay." I say smiling politely 🙂

"Don't make my Adrikins sit next to that loser!" Chloe says 😒

"That's quite enough Chloe." I say sitting next to Marinette. 😠

When she's not paying attention, I look at her and see her facial features.

She has bright, rosy cheeks. She has beautiful pink lips, she has beautiful Bluebell eyes. She has dark silky hair and she has sweet looking eyelashes.

She's so beautiful...

Under her eyes, I notice dark circles and eye bags.

And her expression reads one of sadness, despair and loneliness. 😔

"Adrien Agreste." The teacher says

"What?" I say

"Um, you say present." Marinette whispers

"PRESENT!" I yell

The whole class laughs at me. I blush red. 🤭

Marinette lets out a small laugh. 😄

She has a cute laugh.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

After class, I make some new friends. Alya, Nino, Kim, Alix, Ivan, Mylene, Max, Rose, Juleka and Sabrina.

"Where are you off to?" Nino asks me.

"I have a photoshoot today." I say

"Maybe sometime we could hang out, outside of school." Nino says

"That would be awesome." I say

"I better go, my Bodyguard is here to pick me up." I say

I get in the limo and I wave a goodbye to my new friends.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

At my photoshoot, I see Chloe.

I don't really want to deal with her right now..

Vincent notices this and asks my Bodyguard to escort her out.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

After the photoshoot, and my Chinese lesson we sit down for dinner.

"So how was your first day of school?" My mother asks with bright eyes 😀

"It was awesome! I made so many new friends. I even met a really pretty girl." I say 😊

"Should we start calling her Mrs. Agreste?" My father jokes 😄

"Dad!" I groan 😳

Him and my mother start chuckling.

"I think something must have happened to this girl.." I say 😥

"How do you mean?" My mother asks

"She's really sad. She looks tired and depressed." I say

"Well, I think the best thing to do to help her, is being nice and a good friend to her." They say

"I think I will." I say smiling

I got approval from my friend, the writer of this story to post it on Tumblr because he doesn't have one. I created a character based on Marinette's look. It's an app by doll divine. You can also find it on PC. It's called fairytale high.

Anyway..

Credits for story

Writer: My Friend Adrien

Drawings: Doll Divine

Below is my final word/meme

[ready-press-start]

Mega Dump of Content Because, I Mean Look at This Blog, It's Just Full of Neglect, It's Like the Bastard Child That No One Likes, and It Just Stays in Its Corner, And Doesn't...I'm Droning On, Aren't I? 😓 Oops...MEGA DUMP OF HISTORY!!!!

Jesus Christ, look at all the cobwebs and shit in this place! I'm obviously not a very good Tumbleweed, or whatever the young ones call it these days... (Tumblyolo, Tumblswag, Tumblame, whatever it is 😂) I started one of those 30 day challenge things in the birth of this blog, literally, the first post, and I've only gone up to Day 6! 😅 I should be finished by now, jeeze I slacked off! But anyways, let's try and finish this challenge in one sitting, and then upload this on the shitty Internet that exists in Portugal, shall I? 😂 (I swear, Portugal actually has absolute shit Internet, it makes me miss that crappy McDonald's wifi everyone uses but is super slow...but it's blazing fast, compared to here. 😫 I almost miss decent Internet as much as I miss Banana ❤️ but anyways, LET'S DO THIS!! 👍)

Day 6: How I'd Spend $10000 (not pounds, fuck Britain! (Thank you for helping discover Canada, much appreciated, Papa bless))

I'd invest in stocks! Stocks are guaranteed to succeed every time! (What? No! They don't! 😅)

In reality though, I'd probably spend it all on Banana, or I'd just give it all to her for her to take care of. If I spend it on her, I'd just travel with her everywhere, I know she would love to travel, and you can travel to a lot of places for 10 grand, right? ❤️

(Oh, and btw, Banana is my girlfriend/bae/future wife 😋❤️ shes not an actual banana, even though she says she looks like a banana in a dress. I don't think that's true though, in fact, I think she's smoking in a dress 😍😉❤️) Day 7: Things I Like/Dislike About The Way I Look

Likes: MY HAIR! I can do whatever, cut it short, grow it out, use product and style it, this mane of hair just comes out looking like a million bucks, every time! 😂 But yeah, I also like my upper body, and my legs.Oh, and not to brag or anything, but I gotta say...my butt. I think I got a pretty great badonkadonk. 😏😋

Dislikes: I got a gut...I'm rockin' the dad bod'! I'd like to lose the pillow a bit though.. 😅 Day 8: My Last Night Out In Detail

My last night out? I'm an old fart, my nights out here in Portugal are always the same, I go for a walk/run at the park, and I talk to Banana. 👍❤️ And then I see all the other old farts walking while I'm doing my walk/run thing, and it makes me realize how much of an old fart I am now.. 😂 I need to go back to Canada, and go back to people that are my age, then I'll have some variety in my life. 👍 Day 9: Something That Makes Me Sad When I Think About It

That I'm here in Portugal when I want to be with Banana... 😔❤️ but it's only a month left until I go back, soon enough, we'll be in each other's arms again! ❤️❤️

Plus, she made me a couple videos to cheer me up whenever I miss her, and those really help! 😊❤️ Day 10: One Thing I've Lied About

That I'm the best...I'm not the best...I'm such a liar...I'm only second best...I've been living a lie...how can I be the best if Banana is the best? 😋❤️

But yeah, if you really want something I've lied about, ask my parents when I was a teenager. It was just lie after lie at that time. If I wanted to hang out with my friends at the time, it had to be. So many "projects" that I had to do with them then. Those were the days... (I don't miss them 😂) Day 11: Would I Rather? Desert Island. Someone I Love for 10 Years. Someone I Hate for 1 Month. Survive. Discuss. Long Question. I Make Short. Go Me. 👍

Someone I hate for 1 month. No question. I can survive on a desert island for that long, I'll just drink my own pee or something. That'll both give me nourishment and chase away the person I hate, because I SEE THOSE JUDGEMENTAL EYES YOU'RE GIVING ME, YEAH, I'D DRINK MY OWN PEE LIKE BEAR GRYLLS! I GOTTA SURVIVE, AND THAT'S ALL THE SURVIVAL SKILLS I KNOW! 😂

(Btw, if this was a "dessert" island, I'd bring the person I love for 10 years. An island full of desserts?! We'd both enjoy that! 😂❤️) Day 12: Something I'm Currently Worrying About

I'm worrying about Banana. ❤️ I love her, and I'm always gonna worry and care for her, so it's just a natural thing that'll always happens. I'm sure she can relate, I'm sure she's always worried about me too. ❤️ Day 13: Name one person off Tumblr that I'd throw off a cliff, one I'd marry, and one I'd shag

Banana for all three. 👍😋 The marry and shag, well duh ! ❤️ But the throwing off a cliff, she's probably like "WHAT THE HELL?! 😤" But I can explain! .....don't you wanna go bungee jumping sometime? 😂😂 Day 14: Something Disgusting I Do

Everything. I fart, I pick my nose, I grab my crotch, whatever, I'm a dude! Dudes are disgusting!

(Banana, if you're reading this, this isn't true, I'm as clean as can be! This is just to keep up appearances, make sure they guys still look at me like another guy, but you know me, why would I do any of that stuff I just said?!?! 😂😂) Day 15: Lyrics That Apply To My Current Situation/Mood

Pace Is The Trick by Interpol, great song, and I think the lyrics apply to the situation I'm in too. I'll just put the link --> https://genius.com/Interpol-pace-is-the-trick-lyrics <-- 😋👍 Day 16: A Drunken Story

ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I'm sure Banana can recall that day. 😂 Let's just say someone consumed a little bit too much, and the other someone had to help that first someone out a little bit. 😋 All in all...not a bad day. 👍😂 Day 17: Something you Regret

NO RAGRETS!! I'm not really one to regret many things, a lot of what I've gone through, I've learned from, and it's helped shape me into who I am today. 👍 Day 18: To-do List

Finish this post, go back to Canada, get a proper job that pays well, get a place to live, have Banana move in, get married to Banana, travel with Banana, have kids with Banana, grow old with Banana. 😊❤️

Oh, and another to-do...Banana! 😉😏❤️ Day 19: Post a Picture Without Makeup/Hair Done.

THERE YOU GO! Day 20: My Best Sexual Experience/My Sex Life or Lack Thereof

Sex? Never heard of him... 😂 Day 21: Press Ctrl+V and Post

OH NO, IT'S TWO PICTURES OF ME WITH NOTHING DONE, I'M HIDEOUS!! 😂😂 Day 22: Post a Bit of My Last IM Conversation

Nononononono, no thanks, I'd like to keep the conversations between Banana and I private, thank you very much! And then with my friend, James...he just gloats about how much farther he is than me on Diamond Dynasty in MLB The Show 17...it's like...how rude... 😂 Day 23: 5 Things That I Want to Change

1) The fact Banana isn't with me! ❤️ 2-5) See number 1. 😋👍 Day 24: My View on Being Tumblr Famous

Oh, it's amazing! I wake up every morning and just feel so honoured! I'm so thankful for each and every one of my follower!

That's not a typo.

I have 1 follower.

Tumblr famous, my butt... 😂 Day 25: Someone I'd Like To Be For a Day and Why

I'd probably be Banana for a day, and why I would is pretty simple, I just wanna know what it's like to have boobs and stuff, you know? I'm sure every guy thinks that, I mean, it's all guys think about, boobs, right? HIGH FIVE GUYS!! (Again, Banana, if you're reading this, this isn't true. Like I said, appearances, need to seem like a dude, you get it... 👍😂) Day 26: 5 Things Within Touching Distance Right Now 1) My Phone 2) My Tablet/Laptop Hunk-O-Junk 3) My charging cable for my phone 4) My Wallet 5) ...you know... 😏 (My basketball, wow, think dirty much, jeeze! 😂) Day 27: Name and Shame from Facebook Or Whatever

Facebook? Never heard of her... 👍😂 Sounds ancient anyways 😅 Day 28: An Embarassing/Socially Awkward Situation You've Found Yourself In

Stripping down in a men's change room at a gym or swimming pool with no stalls. I don't know, I just can't do it...there's just so many old man balls hanging out...and then I just start thinking to myself...how can my new man balls ever compare to all those years of experience?! 😅😂😂 Day 29: Something I'm Not Proud Of

I can finish two bite brownies...in one bite...Oh hell, what am I saying, I'm proud of that!! 😂

I'm probably not proud of how I behave under pressure though, I panic, I become all flabbergasted, and I don't think clearly, it's pretty embarassing... 😓 Day 30: The Last Argument I Had

Should I have that last piece of chocolate? No, you shouldn't, you're trying to lose weight. Yeah, but I've been doing so good... No, you don't need it, just let someone else have it. *Eats last piece of chocolate* I told you not to eat it, what are you doing?! What? I really wanted it! Oh my god, you're so weak! Shut up, I'll do better next time! And that was an argument I had with myself when I wanted to eat some chocolate... 😅👍 AND BOOM, I'M DONE! SUCK IT TUMBLR!! 😂😂 (In all reality, Tumblr, if someone accidentally deleted their post, why don't you have a way to retrieve that goddamn post, I had to do this twice! Twice! You trying to kill me or something, Tumblr?! I am disappoint. 😑) But yeah, this was my mega post of epic whatever I said at the top, I don't remember, it was ages ago, and I'm an old fart. 😂 Tune in next week for more cobwebs! Buh-bye! 😋