#if it wasn't obvious I've been working towards that only person to think about a dead show in the current year award

[ckret2]

It's fic time. The Axolotl tries to persuade Bill to face what happened to his dimension while Bill tries to avoid that literally any way possible.

This is part 8 of a 9 part plot about the Axolotl meeting this friendly harmless innocent little triangle in the wake of the Euclidean Massacre and gradually learning he's literally the worst person ever. If you want to read and/or look at the pretty art on the other parts, here's one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven.

(WARNING in this one for nonspecific but pretty obvious suicidal ideation)

####

The triangle whirled around as a milky white void closed in around him. "Whoa whoa hey! What is this? How'd I get here?"

"Welcome to my office. You're in a time and space outside time and space," the Axolotl said. "Take a seat. I have a very comfortable bean bag chair."

The triangle did not take a seat. He pointed at the Axolotl like an angry arrow. "What did you do! If you don't put me back now—"

"Don't worry. When we leave this space, you will be where and when you were. Think of this like a dream."

Furiously, the triangle burst into a ball of bright blue flame. It reeked of burning hydrogen—the stench of the fabric of reality itself burning away to nothing. But he, himself, didn't burn. What was fueling his flames? "Yeah?! Well, dreams are my business!" A wave of blue flames surged toward the Axolotl.

And dissipated without touching him. The Axolotl's eyes glowed white. "THIS IS MY DREAM, TRIANGLE—NOT YOURS!"

The triangle shrank down. He squeaked, "Got it." He quietly perched one edge on the Axolotl's bean bag chair. He didn't look at the Axolotl. He was staring up around them at the Axolotl's tank.

The Axolotl's eyes dimmed again to black voids. He settled back, trying to look unthreatening now that the triangle wasn't fighting him. "Do you see something?"

The triangle laughed uneasily. "Not aside from a whole lot of white."

"You keep looking up," the Axolotl said.

"Up?" the triangle said, confused; then apparently figured out what the Axolotl meant and snapped his gaze down to meet his again. "I never—haven't been able to see the stars before," he said, trying not to sound self-conscious even as he slowly tinted red again. "I've never seen anything that could block them. Except you."

Except him. The guy who passed the wall every day on his way to work; the eclipse that blocked out the sun once a year. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize." The walls of the tank seemingly dissolved, letting the triangle see the scene beyond: the glittery cotton candy celestial clouds of his home.

"Hey, I wasn't complaining! You're the one who asked." But the triangle had already visibly relaxed. He still wasn't looking at the Axolotl; but now, he was staring around at the unfamiliar new constellations with wonder.

It was the most unguarded the Axolotl had ever seen him. They didn't have much spare time; but the Axolotl couldn't bring himself to interrupt this brief peace.

After a moment, the triangle gestured toward the sky and said, "So, you—call that direction 'up.'"

"Yes?" the Axolotl said. "Is that strange?"

"No! Nooo no no. Just seems like it might be confusing, trying to tell apart north-up from star-up."

How odd. "We don't usually call north 'up'."

"Oh," the triangle said, voice small and sheepish.

"Some planetbound mortals do. But usually only when they're—" Oh. "... looking at maps." The world printed on a paper 2D plane. Like the plane the triangle had come from.

For all his power, his charisma, his bravado—the triangle was still just a lost little refugee from a flat little world. He held a whole universe in his hand, and he didn't even know up from down. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to him.

"Listen to me," the Axolotl said. "You're in a lot of trouble. I'm sure you know that."

The triangle scoffed. "Tell me something new."

"How much of our discussion did you hear?"

"Just something about rebuilding the higher dimensions' foundations. Which is exactly what I told you to do! You mind your business, I'll mind mine!"

He suspected the triangle had heard more than that. "It's not that simple. They can't rebuild the foundation until the fires are out. So, as long as your actions keep setting new ones..."

"A-ha. So that's why you're here," the triangle said. "They sent you to intimidate me into letting 'em condemn my dimension."

"No." It was true enough that they had sent the Axolotl to try to talk the triangle down. And yes, he would if he could—he certainly didn't want to see all of reality destroyed—but he wasn't primarily here to help the other gods. "I'm here to help you."

The Axolotl had watched how this triangle puppeted corpses and terrified the barely-living into dancing along to his tune. He had seen the dying and dead melted together into oversized composite corpses at the triangle's party; and he'd seen how the triangle's unhappy victims tumbled down into his hell. He'd seen how blue flames flared around the triangle in his anger, and how his lines of fire warped, melted, and consumed whole universes, and how he burned mortals down to the soul with his mere gaze. He'd felt how all of Dimension Zero moved when the triangle moved.

This triangle, this poor child, was a monster.

The Axolotl wore many faces. He'd been a psychopomp, a god of death. He'd changed roles so he could help the dead he escorted reach better futures—now he was a god of rebirth, a god of second chances, a god of justice.

And in his capacity as a god of justice, he'd proudly defended the villains that no one else would defend. He did not believe in punishment. It was too late to save the villains' victims, and no amount of punishment would ever change that; but it was not too late to save the villains.

He was god of death, god of rebirth, god of second chances, god of justice—and also a god of monsters. And he'd decided this monster was under his protection.

Dubiously, the triangle said, "So they sent you as my legal counsel."

Oh, for— "No. I'm just trying to give you advice."

"Even better—pro bono legal counsel!" 

"You're not my client," the Axolotl said. "But I'll advise you as a friend. I can tell you your options as I see them. We can discuss them if you'd like. You may ask me one question, and no more."

"What? Why—" The triangle caught himself and struggled to rephrase. "That's a—stupid rule—that I want an explanation for!"

"Because I'm the Axolotl."

"What does that have t— I don't know what that has to do with anything!"

"I'm the only one who gets to ax a lotl questions."

The triangle stared at him. He burst out laughing. "I think I hate you!"

The Axolotl gave him a wide, gummy grin.

"St—stop that! It makes you even more ugly, ugh. I thought you were here to give me advice, not bad jokes." The triangle made a show of leaning back as though getting comfortable, although it was clear he was uneasy touching the bean bag chair. "So advise me, pink stuff."

"I preferred 'frills.'" Gently, the Axolotl said, "I think it's in your best interests to give yourself up to the divine authorities."

The triangle laughed in disbelief. "You're kidding. Hey, I heard your pals talking about how they can't fight me without knocking the multiverse down—"

"And once they've put up a fireproof foundation you can't burn your way through, there will no longer be any risk to the multiverse if they come after you."

"Sounds to me like a good reason to make sure they don't get that foundation in place!"

"For you to do enough damage to ensure they can't construct a foundation, you'd probably knock the multiverse down yourself," the Axolotl said. "And if that's the case, they'll have nothing to lose by trying to stop you anyway, and everything to lose by not trying."

The belligerence leeched out of the triangle's face by the word. "Oh. Yeah. I guess that's... yeah," he said.  "Okay." His expression was faraway for a moment, as he tried to wrap his mind around the magnitude of the situation. "Okay. That's okay, it's fine, it's fine." Could he feel the walls closing in on him? Did he see the stars being blocked out? "I've... got a way out of this."

"What?"

He didn't meet the Axolotl's gaze. He pulled off his hat to worry at it in his hands. "I have a way."

Bluffing. Or wishful thinking. "No. This is trouble you can't get out of. There's no greater crime against reality than the destruction of an entire dimension," the Axolotl said. "Right now, the gods think you're an active, divine threat to all of existence. That's what this is about. They're not after you because you broke a couple of rules—they're afraid of you." (The triangle lit up at that. Not quite the reaction the Axolotl had been going for, but at least he had his attention.) "And that means they won't stop until they're sure you're no longer a threat. As long as they're pursuing you, your best case scenario is getting buried alive beneath the multiverse's foundation where they can forget about you until your dream realm unravels."

"So what g—I don't see what good giving myself up would do! My best move is putting off the inevitable as long as possible! Just let 'em try to bury me!"

"But it's not inevitable," the Axolotl said. "They fear you as a divine threat. If you prove you're neither divine nor a threat—"

"No."

"Mortals can't be charged the same way as gods can. If we convince the court that you didn't have your current powers at the time of the inferno—"

"I don't know why you're so convinced I didn't have powers at the time!"

"I'm not. That doesn't mean I can't convince a judge," the Axolotl said, which surprised the triangle enough that he actually shut up for a moment. "If you're charged as a god, you face eternal imprisonment or oblivion. If you're charged as a mortal, you'll be sentenced to a regular afterlife. If you give up your power—I'm not sure where yours come from, but there are ways it can be done—" (the triangle was already raising a finger to protest) "—and it can be temporary! But if you don't have divine power when you're taken in, it will be that much easier to convince the judge that you didn't have any when your wall burned. On top of that, if you surrender yourself willingly and admit that destroying Dimension 2 Delta was an accident, that alone can knock off half your charges."

"Next you'll ask me to give up my eye! No!" He was clenching his fist around his hat so tightly that it shook; but that was the only sign of anxiety he betrayed. His gaze was as intense as the stare of a sun. "I told you: me, my power, and my people are a package deal. We stay together. We're staying right here. I don't care how much it inconveniences you."

"It's not about how much it inconveniences us," the Axolotl said. "I'm here for you—you and your people."

"They don't need you or any of your stupid 'gods.' I can take care of them!"

"Then take care of them," the Axolotl said. "You understand that, no matter how this ends, your dream realm will be destroyed and you'll have to leave or perish—don't you?"

"No." That stubborn little glitter fleck. "I can patch up this dump and repair the wall by myself. Once the wall's back, you don't have to worry about your stupid multiverse destabilizing, right?! I'll stabilize my realm before you get your stupid impenetrable foundation in place! Maybe I'll put a roof on top of it that you can't get through!"

"You haven't done it yet! What do you think you can do that you haven't already done?"

"You don't need to know," the triangle snarled.

He had to be mad, bluffing, or in denial. But he didn't look it—eye narrowed in determination, flames smoldering around his edges, fist clenched around his hat—

And then it clicked.

He hadn't said he would replace his wall. He said he'd repair it. 

The Time Giant had said there was no way the little speck of matter that the triangle kept in his hat could be all the matter from his universe; no mortal could handle it without its gravity crushing them, nor would they have the energy to move it.

But she'd also said that gravity was turned off in Dimension Zero. And the triangle had proven he did have the power to move an entire universe—so why should a universe the size of a grain of sand be any more difficult?

And anyway—what did restrictions like that mean in a place where dreams and reality overlap?

"The Time Giant was wrong, wasn't she," the Axolotl said. "You don't have a dark matter problem. You're carrying around the rubble of your universe. All of it. All the matter she sensed but couldn't find."

The triangle gave him a resentful look; but then sighed in defeat. He loosened his fist, reached into his hat, and plucked up the speck of what remained of his universe. The black pinprick of white light. "You're not as dumb as you look," he said wryly. "Yep. The whole thing's right here—all but a city or two. I figured out how to catch it pretty fast."

Catch it? "What... happened to your dimension?"

A faint uneasiness itched at the back of his mind; a sound, right at the edge of his hearing, that he couldn't quite identify but knew shouldn't be here.

"It doesn't matter," the triangle said. "It's about to un-happen."

"You're thinking about setting off a big bang, aren't you?"

The triangle said nothing. He just rolled his universe between his thumb and forefinger contemplatively. 

"You are," the Axolotl said. "You want to replace your universe."

Coolly, the triangle said, "You're sounding kinda scared, frills."

"I am," the Axolotl admitted. "Of all your options, that's the most dangerous thing you could possibly do."

"Hey, the dangerous choices have turned out pretty well for me so far!"

The Axolotl really didn't think they had. "You know you can't get your old universe back, don't you? It will only make a new universe."

The triangle didn't say anything—but he went still, holding the tiny glowing pearl between his fingers rather than rolling it back and forth.

"It will have similar physical properties—it will be 2D, gravity and light will probably work the same way, all the laws of physics will be what you expect... but it will be a new universe. New stars and worlds will form. New species will evolve. Your people will never return."

The triangle squeezed the pearl in his hand. "You don't know that," he said harshly. "Everything that ever existed is right in here." He shook his fist at the Axolotl. He could see the light shining out between the triangle's fingers. "It has to have some sort of memory! There's gotta be traces of it left in there!"

"It can't remember. It doesn't have a soul to remember with."

"I'm a soul!" The triangle pointed at himself with a hundred arms. "Me! I remember! The whole dimension remembers!"

There was the hiss. The ever-present hiss that the Axolotl heard any time he was inside Dimension Zero, the static in the speakers, the last gasp of a dying big bang, the whisper murmur scream battering against the walls. Fear shivered up his spine. How was it audible from within his tank?

He tried to push down his fear. "You're not the whole dimension."

The triangle laughed. It was a chilling sound.

"Just—consider how much more you'd lose if it doesn't work the way you want it to. What will you do if you can't fix your dimension?"

"I can," he said. "If I can't fix it, no one can."

Why did he think he was more capable than gods who'd maintained the multiverse for trillions of years? "What if you're wrong?"

"I will fix it," the triangle said stubbornly.

"TELL ME WHAT YOU'LL DO IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT!"

The triangle literally shrank back, growing smaller as he sank into the Axolotl's beanbag. "Keep doing what I'm doing now! Partying!" He let out a half hysterical giggle. "I'll party til I die!"

"Set off a big bang in an unstable pseudo-dimension, and you will die! The kind of death no one comes back from!"

"Great!"

They both froze. Neither one of them had expected him to say that.

"Kidding," the triangle croaked. "I just—I just—I'm trying to get under your skin, pinky, that's all. Is it working? Don't answer that, that wasn't my question, that was—rhetorical. I'm assuming that stuff you've got is skin, anyway." The prattle was hollow and meaningless. "The point is, I'm the dream realm's eternal party host, and I'm not stopping this party for anything, no matter what you say, and—and that's it. That's all there is to it!"

He must have witnessed so many horrors, in so little time—his universe incinerating, his people dying, Dimension Zero constantly collapsing even as he attempted to prop it up, the dimensions above him twisting and warping as their people fell into his nightmarish realm...

The Axolotl slowly flew closer to the triangle.

"Oh, come on— don't," the triangle whined. "Whatever little speech you're about to make, don't, I don't wanna hear it—"

Gently, the Axolotl said, "I know you've lost your home."

The word "home" struck a note with the triangle. He didn't flinch, his expression didn't change; but he went still. He looked down at the compacted ruin of what used to be his whole universe.

"But it's not too late for you to find a new home," the Axolotl said. "You can still move on and rebuild. There's a future for you. If you come out, I'll help you navigate the afterlife system. If you're stuck in this dimension, we'll find a way to free you."

The triangle's face darkened.

"You can be reincarnated, or resurrected, or—just set free to be an energy being if you want. You can settle down in a neighboring dimension, join a new people—"

"No. I'm not about to be a couch surfer in someone else's universe." He glowered up at the Axolotl. "Those people will join me. Everyone can either join me, or—or get out of my way! I finally made my kingdom, I'm not giving up my crown now!"

"If you keep your crown, you'll kill your kingdom! You know that if you stay here you'll destroy everything, I know you know it!"

"It's the best option I have! Better than your plan, anyway! Surrender to the cops and let my world fall apart?" He laughed harshly. "No way, Buster! I told my people I'd liberate them from our flat, oppressive little world and take them to a party paradise, and that's exactly what I'm gonna make for them!" He held out his little pearl of a universe again, the paradise-to-be.

Before, he'd said that the dream realm was his paradise. He'd also said that he'd remake his destroyed universe exactly as it had been. How could the "oppressive" world they'd left be their paradise? Nevermind the fact that none of "his people" were from his world. Which of the stories he'd invented was the truth? Which did the triangle think was the truth? Did he even know?

"If all of this is for your people—would you risk them? If trying to build a paradise kills the very people you made it for—"

"They'd never know."

The Axolotl's blood ran cold. It took a moment for him to find his voice. "What?"

"I can keep the party going until the end. They'd never find out what's coming. If the dream realm collapses, it'll be too fast for them to tell what's happening," the triangle said. "In their final moments, they'll still remember me as a hero."

The Axolotl hadn't realized until that moment just how cold the triangle's expression was.

His mind flashed to seeing VENDOR earlier that day, hustling the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force to clean up this mess faster because THEY didn't want the journalists to claim THEY had mishandled the situation during an election season.

Was that all the triangle was?

Another politician more concerned with how his constituents saw him than with what he could do for them?

"But," the Axolotl said weakly, "I've watched how you rescue the mortals from the fires. I've seen how you're struggling to keep this dimension from collapsing on them. I've seen how much you're suffering. You're running yourself ragged to protect them. You want so badly for them to be safe."

The triangle seemed to brighten at the Axolotl's words, as though he was soaking in the high praise. "Well, sure! And they love me for it! Would any god do less for his worshipers? Would you?" His voice took on a bitter tone. "But I don't know of any god who'd stick his corner out for a nonbeliever—and that's what they'll be if I don't deliver on the paradise I promised. I take my party hosting seriously. I'll give them their paradise if it kills me. Or them. Or everyone, if that's what it takes."

He was no hero. He never had been. He didn't care about the countless souls he'd collected, only their worship.

He didn't want his people to be safe; he just wanted to be his people's savior.

If I can't fix it, no one can. The triangle hadn't meant no one else was able to. He'd meant no one else was allowed to. He'd rather die than let someone else fix his mistakes.

And he would. This was a mass suicide.

No. Worse than that—it was a mass murder-suicide.

"You already lost your world once," the Axolotl said desperately, "don't you remember what that was like?"

The triangle flinched back like the Axolotl had slapped him. The tank rumbled around them; the hissing whispers grew louder. "That's... none of your business! Stop talking about my world, you don't know the first thing about it—"

"I know how much you must miss it. I know how deeply losing your people must hurt." It must have hurt, why would he have clung to what was left of his world if it didn't, why would he be so determined to rebuild it exactly as it had been?

"My—my people are fine." His voice was choked. He squeezed his eye shut. "They're... all out at the party. Waiting for me. Don't talk about—"

"The people at the party are shapes you kidnapped from other dimensions." He was so stubbornly loyal to his chosen delusions. "Your people are dead. You know they are!"

"No!"

His scream was answered by howls outside the Axolotl's tank. Through the static, the Axolotl could pick up a sound repeated over and over. A word. Murderer, murderer, murderer.

"No! They aren't dead! I saved them!" He curled in on himself, hands pressed to his sides like it could block out the sounds. "I liberated them from their shallow lives! I gave them their freedom—"

"Then give them their freedom now!"

The triangle's breath hitched.

"If you want to die, you can die. There are ways to break a soul. I can help. But do it alone," the Axolotl pled. "I know you care about these people!" He had to believe it, he had to believe it, he had to. In spite of the evidence to the contrary, he had to. "If you won't let us help you, at least let us help them go home. Please. You need to let them go."

He clenched his tiny hands into fists; he looked so pained the Axolotl thought he might shatter.

In another timeline, a better timeline, he whispered, "How?" The word he should have said echoed around them, blending into the static whispers. It would be so easy to say.

But in this timeline, he asked, "You're some kind of lawyer or something, right?"

The Axolotl paused uneasily. "By... way of metaphor," he said. "We have trials and courts, but not the way mortals understand—"

"There are no laws in my kingdom," the king growled. "Get out of here. Now."

"But—"

"I said OUT!"

A force crashed into the time and space between time and space, shattering the Axolotl's tank, the glittery cotton candy nebulas' pinks and blues disrupted by a twisted geyser of colors—raw frothing stuff somewhere between matter and energy—and it flung the Axolotl away from the triangle like a wave flinging a fish from the ocean. The anxious background static whispers grew to a buzzing roar, 1000 decibel white noise. He spun dizzily through the cosmic miasma.

The first time he'd come in here—the first time the triangle had chased him out—he'd felt instinctively that he'd been in danger. He'd felt flames licking at his heels.

He knew now that that had been a mere warning.

"I might be in your dream, but your dream is in MY dream realm!" The triangle seemed to get larger without his size changing. Maybe it was the universe around him that was contracting. "And you've overstayed your welcome, Axolotl!"

The Axolotl had tumbled into the nightmarish eternal dance party. Shrieking overlapping music drowned out the buzzing whispers. Thousands of eyes stared at him in horror and thousands of voices gasped in disgust; and he realized that as many times as he'd seen them, he had never been in their two-dimensional field of view.

For all the thousands that stared at him, millions of corpses never stopped dancing.

One last time, the Axolotl turned to the triangle and pled, "Just give the hostages the option to leave if they want!"

"My people aren't hostages!"

"Then give them a choice!" He could feel dead hands grabbing at his skin and fins. He wasn't sure if they were trying to restrain him for their Magister Mentium, or cling to him for escape. He wasn't even sure whether they were the dead who still had their own souls, or the triangle's corpse puppets. "Anyone who wants to stay with you can!"

"Shut up!" The triangle boomed louder and louder and he grew larger and larger, until his voice and his eye seemed to fill the universe. He was shuddering with rage (with regret?)—it threatened to shake him apart, and the universe with him. "All of this is your fault! I'm—sick because of you!" In another reality he said insane; but the realities where he didn't closed up around the word and crushed it into silence. "You made me like this! You infected me!"

"With what?" He'd only spoken to the triangle once before today. He hadn't even entered his dimension.

"This—idea!" He didn't say what idea, not in this reality; but the words echoed in from another reality where he did. He screamed to drown the echoes out. "I was fine until I met you and you ruined everything!" Regret spilled out of his eye so thick it was almost palpable, energy like a river. It threatened to fill the interdimensional in-between space and drown them all. The Axolotl could taste the idea that had poisoned the triangle: the idea that everyone mattered. That everyone was worthy of a god's attention. And now, everyone was gone.

Bewildered, the Axolotl said, "You're not 'sick' to think that. It's the sanest idea you could have—"

"Get out!" The shriek echoed through infinity. "Get out! The dream realm is my domain and I am its king! I told you last time, I won't let you threaten my people!"

"I would never—"

"GET OUT!" Blue flames exploded out of the triangle; some of his nearest prisoners were incinerated as easily as tissue paper.

The Axolotl tried to shield himself; the flames consumed one of his forelegs and ate away at his dorsal fin.

He tore himself free of the desperate grasping shapes and swam from the triangle as fast as he could.

The triangle chased him; and, to the Axolotl's despair, as the center of Dimension Zero followed the triangle, the edge of reality pulled ever further away.

His flames licked at the Axolotl's tail, consuming the fin; he swam slower and slower.

As the triangle pursued the Axolotl, his attacks further destabilized the volatile dimension; wormholes formed where the fabric of reality folded and bunched in on itself and was pierced through. Light shot through the holes like a million disembodied sunbeams. 

He saw one that led straight to the edge of Dimension Zero. He wriggled through.

"Where did you—?! HEY!" The dimension whirled dizzyingly as the triangle refocused on his evasive prey. "You think you can get away from me in my own realm?" 

"Do you want me to get out or not?!"

"I want you DEAD!"

The Axolotl shouldn't have asked.

With a roar, the triangle clawed at him. A thick, sucking wave of gravity as dense as a black hole tore through the unstable miasma toward him. The triangle laughed sadistically.

With one last surge of energy, he paddled his tail hard enough to outpace the triangle and burst free of the dimension.

The ragged edges of Dimension Zero ripped further under the triangle's attack, but it dissipated in the third dimension.

The Axolotl sighed in relief—then flinched when the triangle crashed into the invisible barrier holding the cosmic foam in the space-between-space where Dimension Zero should have been. Like a piece of glitter sticking to a bubble, if glitter sticking to a bubble were the most violent force in the universe. "Get back here! I'll skin your freakish hide and make a tent outta it—!" He strained toward the Axolotl, threatening to drag the bubble along with him, like a particularly determined sled dog trying to pull a trailer home.

The Axolotl hastily backed out of range as nauseating plumes of color stretched outside their bounds again. Blue fire danced over the thin membrane between dimensions like a burning oil spill on an ocean. The plumes twisted into shapes almost like arms, hundreds of them, reaching toward him—

And froze. The triangle was staring past the Axolotl.

The Axolotl turned to look.

It was the most sublimely awful sight he'd ever seen. An impenetrable wall made up of gods, angels, sentient forces of nature—there were things here so transcendentally powerful that the Axolotl couldn't even see them; he only knew they were present by the perimeters of the space he couldn't bring his eyes to gaze upon and the terrifying awe he felt when he tried.

They were all armed.

All their weapons were pointed at the triangle.

Apparently, the ATTF had called in reinforcements.

A god that looked like a hologram projection, the light of its projector shining down on it from a higher dimension like a halo, thundered, "ADVANCE ANY FURTHER INTO REALITY, AND WE WILL BE FORCED TO SUBDUE YOU."

"You can't afford to!" the triangle crowed. "You'll knock your own universes down!"

"NOT ANYMORE."

The triangle's eye widened. The thousand arms of raw reality seized the jagged edges of the dimensions bordering the hole left when Dimension 2 Delta burned down, trying to crush them—and nothing happened. He slammed Dimension Zero against the bordering dimension, trying to crack open a larger opening, and then trying to simply shove the bordering dimensions aside—and nothing happened. Dimension Zero burned; but the surrounding first and second dimensions remained still. There was no creak and crack of snapping lines and shattering planes as the triangle tried to squeeze his bloated universe free. There was no glowing line of fire on the distant horizon.

The neighboring dimensions burned and blackened under the thousand hands; but they didn't dissolve to ash. The cinders got caught between the layers together as the dimensions splintered into layers, then multiplied—splintered and multiplied—splintered and multiplied—thicker and denser and harder—

Parallel universes. Every time the triangle touched them, they split into more timelines, reinforcing themselves. The Time Giant already reformatted the universes most closely adjacent to Dimension Zero. Not every universe—but just enough to form a cage.

The triangle gave up with a grunt of pain. He laughed in disbelief—and then anger. "You were the distraction?"

"No! I was supposed to talk you into cooperating with building the fireproof foundation! We agreed to only call in reinforcements if I couldn't persuade you!" He looked around for the Time Giant, but couldn't find her—nor any of the other gods he'd spoken to while dealing with this mess. Everyone, apparently, had been cleared out of the vicinity to make way for the god militia.

The only civilian left on the 3D side of the missing wall was the Axolotl—once again, stuck in the middle of a situation he had no business being involved in.

The triangle's eye widened further, further, white hot with fury. "Nothing's ever your fault, is it, frills?! Every time you ruin my life, it's all a big misunderstanding! You just keep talking your way out of trouble!" His eye opened wider and wider still. His eyelid unhinged. His mandibles split open and at the back of his eye socket was an infinitely dark esophagus. Sprouting in a ring around the triangle's eye like the petals of a grisly flower, piercing the membrane between the zeroth dimension and the third, were millions and millions of—

—teeth. Teeth longer than the spaces between stars and sharp enough to split an atom.

The Axolotl only barely managed to paddle back out of their range before they snapped at where he had been. A couple of the higher gods caught him, holding his sides protectively. His skin sizzled with holy electricity.

The god militia drew back from the gnashing fangs, then readied their own weapons: spears, guns, swords, a wider array of divine and holy weaponry than the Axolotl had ever seen. The projection leading the militia called, "DON'T LET HIM MAKE IT PAST THE FIREPROOF BARRIER."

"Afraid I'll start breaking things again?" The fangs snapped tauntingly. "Hey—how fast do you think I can find the load-bearing dimensions?"

The Axolotl shook off the gods and swam back toward Dimension Zero. "Stop!"

"HOLD FIRE!" The projected god commanded, "OUT OF THE WAY, AXOLOTL. THE MULTIVERSE'S SAFETY IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE."

He knew it was. The leader of the militia was so powerful that resisting a direct order made the Axolotl dizzy—but he did resist. He shouted at the triangle, "You can't fight off every god in the multiverse! This is suicide!" He realized too late that that probably wasn't as discouraging as he'd intended it to be.

"So what?! There's no way for me to win! Get executed for god crimes or get erased when the dimension collapses—"

"Those aren't your only choices!" The Axolotl could see the fangs slowly, slowly curling up in his peripheral vision, and pretended he didn't. "It's not too late for you to stand down—!"

"I can't!" A wave of fire blazed up the teeth of the Dream Realm. He held up a fist, and it was far too small for any of the gods, so mighty and large, to see what he held; but the Axolotl knew. "If I don't get a happy ending, why shouldn't I burn the rest of you down with me?! At least I'll accomplish one thing before I go!" His hand began glowing as energy began gathering around the tiny seed of a big bang.

"Do you want your worshipers to remember you as a monster in their last moments?!"

"Better a monster than a LOSER!" His laugh was a strained subsonic roar. "Are fame and infamy really that different?! At least they'll be thinking about me at the end!"

"It would make you a terrible party host!"

The Axolotl didn't know what had possessed him to say that. Apparently the triangle didn't know what to make of it either, because he froze, giving the Axolotl a wide-eyed blank stare.

But it worked. He snapped out of his rage. The light gathering around the remains of Dimension 2 Delta went dark. For a moment, he was frozen, giving the Axolotl a wide-eyed blank stare; and then he laughed again, just as strained, much weaker. The borders of Dimension Zero shuddered with his laughter. "Fair enough!" The appendages stretching out into the third dimension lost definition. "Fair enough." He glowered tiredly at the god militia—but raised his hands in surrender. Both his palms were empty.

The trembling fangs dissolved as they retracted. The whole paradoxical mass sagged sluggishly back into the crawlspace underneath reality.

One by one, the god militia slowly lowered their weapons.

The Axolotl's heart was still hammering in his chest; and only then did it register that he'd nearly been eaten by an entire dimension.

Where had his power come from? How had the triangle done all this—made his whole dimension vanish without a trace, shoved an entire plane inside a point, gained complete control over it all...

He really did have complete control over the entire universe that had formed inside Dimension Zero—didn't he?

And to control an entire universe, he needed to have an entire universe's worth of energy.

Dimension 2 Delta had been an entire universe. And now—all of its energy was in Dimension Zero.

With the triangle.

As he watched the triangle wincing in pain as the Dream Realm sank back into place, as though the triangle could feel the way the edges of the neighboring dimensions dug into the frothing chaos, the Axolotl whispered, "Oh, no. What have you done?"

His power had come from his own universe. He had devoured it. He'd made it part of him.

All that energy wasn't stored inside the triangle's body—but the Axolotl had been wrong to think that the triangle was the body in the first place. The triangle was only the face: the eye, the mouth, the mind. The part of the Dream Realm that could speak.

The Dream Realm was the anglerfish—and the triangle was its pretty golden glowing lure. They were all one monster.

The triangle was slumped in defeat, but still he shot the Axolotl a tired glare. The hissing static whispers rose up around him again, spilling out of the Dream Realm. (The whispers, too, were a part of the triangle.) "Who are you to judge," he muttered. "You weren't there."

No, he wasn't. He'd gotten here too late.

Behind the Axolotl, the god projection said curtly, "APPREHEND THE TRIANGLE WHILE HE'S COMPLIANT."

The Axolotl whirled around, eyes glowing with rage. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!" The gods who had started moving toward Dimension Zero froze again.

"HE'S A THREAT TO THE MULTIVERSE!"

"He stood down!" 

"HE'S PROVEN WILLING TO DESTROY REALITY. HE COULD EASILY CHOOSE TO AGAIN." The higher dimensional projector turned to project straight at the Axolotl, dazzling him even through his shut eyes, shining straight into his brain. "STAND. ASIDE."

"No." The Axolotl tensed his muscles against the compulsion to obey. "He was a threat to the multiverse. Once the last walls are closed over the crawlspace, he won't be anymore. If he doesn't make a move between now and then, you have no grounds to pursue him." It was a little easier the second time to resist the higher god's command. "So if you do follow him out of the third dimension to capture him, you're trespassing in a new god's sovereign territory to make an illegal arrest outside your jurisdiction!"

"HE'S MASSACRED TEN DIMENSIONS AND TRIED TO DESTROY MORE. THERE ISN'T A COURT IN REALITY THAT WOULD CONSIDER PURSUING HIM UNJUSTIFIED."

"I know a few."

"YOU'RE DEFENDING A DIVINE MENACE. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

He quietly kissed his career prospects goodbye as he watched himself do the stupidest thing he'd ever done. "I'm the Axolotl," said the Axolotl, "and I'm his lawyer!"

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 8 of a 9 part fic about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. I'll be posting the last chapter next week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl deal with having gotten his heart broken by this sweet little triangle who actually isn't sweet.

It's ALSO chapter 61 Part Eight of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. So if you wanna read more of me writing Bill, check it out. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a one-shot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: this was The Big One, gang. And now I expect for the next several months I'm gonna get comments from y'all rereading earlier chapters going HOLD ON WAS THIS LINE FORESHADOWING THAT LITERALLY THE ENTIRE NIGHTMARE REALM IS PART OF BILL? And the answer is: yes. yes it was. Looking forward to hearing y'all's thoughts!! 💕

also this was THE absolute hardest chapter to write, goddamn.)

[ltmctrung]

A magical girl and a knight, sitting in a tree

[barcaatthemoon]

atlas || ingrid engen x mapi leon x reader ||

mapi and ingrid help you relax after a rough week.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

the physical and emotional weight of your workload was dragging you down. mapi was the first to realize it, and once she did, the first person she went to was ingrid. ingrid had a way of relaxing you that mapi knew she couldn't pull off. the woman had a tendency of being a little too energetic for that. however, it seemed that this time, ingrid couldn't really help you either.

they both hated it, but mapi and ingrid had no choice but to wait for all of you to be on a break to bring it up. a lot of things had been happening at barcelona, so you were very busy as social media director. your promotion had seemed like a blessing at first, especially since it meant that you could travel with your girlfriends everywhere that they went. however, all of that travel really cut into the time you had to organize everything else.

"i miss her," mapi sighed as she watched you fast asleep on the couch. it was obvious that you hadn't meant to fall asleep like that with your laptop and several notebooks open. you had been working, despite ingrid and mapi's insistence that you come with them out for the day. they had tried to have a good time, but mapi couldn't knowing that you were still in the apartment.

"it's been hard, especially on her. i mean, look at her," ingrid said as she nodded towards you. mapi let out a little whine as she looked at you. even in your sleep, the stress of your job was evident. they knew that this was temporary, mapi remembered when she first signed to barcelona years ago when you initially had been brought in as an intern. you always had a bit of a struggle starting out, but eventually, you'd find your footing.

"i could cry," mapi muttered quietly. ingrid had just barely heard her. if it was anybody other than you, ingrid would have been deleriously jealous of the way that mapi loved and cared for you. she knew that while mapi had been dating her for longer, you had been in her life longer. you were one of mapi's best friends first, and so, ingrid knew what to expect.

"we can let her sleep, and then do something special for her tonight," ingrid suggested. mapi nodded as she let ingrid pull her away from the living room. you slept the entire day away, waking up only when mapi physically picked you up and carried you into the dining room. you were still very tired as you ate, but the food did a lot to energize you a bit.

"what's the occasion?" you asked, not missing the way that both of your girlfriends were dressed up a bit more. mapi shrugged the question off as she tried to pretend that everything was normal. ingrid, however, was more than happy to give a reason for the little show.

"we are celebrating you, and all of the hard work you've been doing lately," ingrid said softly. she got up to carry your plate into the kitchen for you, kissing the top of your head as well as mapi's as she passed.

"i'm sorry if i haven't been very attentive," you apologized. mapi shook her head as she took your hands in hers. "i've been busy, and i know that you hate being left to your own devices. you need me too, not just the club."

"it's okay, i understand, i do. tonight, don't think about any of that. let ingrid and me take care of you, please bebita." if it wasn't for the way that mapi as looking at you, you might have gone back to your work for the night. "you've been working so hard."

"i'm so tired of it," you admitted. you sounded like you were on the verge of tears, so mapi did what she knew would help you calm down. she dropped your hands to grab your cheeks, pulling you in gently for a kiss. you kissed her back, moaning into it as you felt her deepen it. you sat forward in your seat, like you were prepared to crawl into her lap at any moment. the two of you could have kept going forever like that until ingrid interrupted you.

"come on, let's move this to the bedroom." ingrid guided the two of you away from the table. you broke the kiss with mapi once you were in ingrid's arms, turning your attention to her instead. ingrid picked you up and carried you into the bedroom, walking strong despite the kisses you were pressing to her neck. mapi followed behind ingrid, taking the opportunity to feel her up on the short walk to the bedroom.

ingrid laid you down on the bed gently, and mapi moved around her to get behind you. almost immediately, you could tell how the night would go. it was rare that they both focused solely on you, but you were grateful for the distraction. it wouldn't last forever, but they'd be taking a good amount of the weight of your work off from your shoulders from the night.

mapi's hands settled on your hips, squeezing gently as she peppered the side of your face in kisses. ingrid was laying between your legs, effectively pinning you against mapi's body as the two of them kissed you. it was a lot, but you were more than happy to just go along with whatever they wanted.

you trusted both women with your body completely. they knew the things that you liked, and sometimes, you swore they knew what you needed before you did. on your own, you would have tried to rush things, but they were taking things so slow with you. even mapi, who had a tendency to get a little ahead of herself in these situations.

they took their time undressing you and themselves. the feeling of their skin against yours made it hard for you to think. mapi could tell that you were having a hard time keeping up, so she backed away just enough for you to focus on ingrid. the taller woman kissed you slowly, but it wasn't without an almost overwhelming amount of emotion.

you didn't know how she did it, but ingrid always kissed you with her entire being. from every little peck as she left the apartment to the way she'd completely take your breath away. you swore that you could feel the love and concern ingrid had for you as she kissed you. it was enough for you to get a little lost in the feeling of her lips, but still gentle enough for you to easily slip away if you needed it. ingrid wouldn't judge you, knowing that occasionally you weren't up for this sort of thing when you were stressed.

"you look so pretty kissing ingrid," mapi whispered in your ear. she turned towards ingrid before she spoke up again, "you're taking such good care of our bebita, ingrid."

"i want more, please," you told them. mapi took that as her cue to come back a little more. her hands moved along your sides until you moved them onto your breasts. mapi's fingers teased your nipples as your hips ground against ingrid's thigh. ingrid bit her lip as she felt how wet you already were from just kissing them. it was going to be easy to get you to cum for the first time, and while ingrid wanted to spend all night between your legs, she wouldn't push you any further than what you could handle.

"do you want my fingers or my mouth, bebita?" ingrid asked you. she was usually adamant about not speaking spanish in the house, but that pet name had always stuck. technically, mapi had been calling you her bebita long before either of you had figured out your feelings for each other. ingrid remembered her hesitation about seeing mapi because of you, and in hindsight, she felt a little ridiculous about it now.

"mouth please," you answered. ingrid gave you one last kiss before she moved down to lay in between your legs. mapi turned your head towards her, pulling you into a gentle kiss as ingrid's hands came up to rest on the insides of your thighs.

unlike ingrid's kisses, mapi's rarely ever managed to stay as gentle as they started. the press of mapi's lips against yours quickly turned into something much firmer, not that you minded. you nipped at mapi's lip a little, which earned you a slightly rougher pinch to your nipple than before.

"mapi," ingrid warned. mapi's cheeks heated up at the warning. you bit your lip as she moved around your body to press a kiss to where she had just pinched you. ingrid watched as your hips bucked forward at the contact. she shot mapi a look, one urging for the tattooed woman to stay there until you pulled her back for more kisses.

"do you want this bebita?" mapi asked you. you could still feel enough of mapi's body behind you to feel safe and comfortable, but that need was quickly being replaced by the feel to feel both of their mouths on your body.

"please," you whined. mapi didn't need to be told twice, and she mvoed back in with her mouth at the same time as ingrid. mapi peppered your breasts with kisses as her fingers teased your nipples. ingrid's tongue was making lazy figure 8 motions in between your legs, just barely grazing along where you wanted her to. the two of them worked together well, almost perfectly in sync despite not having had to talk one another through anything.

"shh," mapi cooed softly as she lifted her head a little. the noises you were making quickly began to jumble together. you were whining and whimpering as you started to move more. ingrid didn't want to grab your hips and pin you down, so mapi took it upon herself to kiss you to calm you down. your nails scratched against the side of her face a little, but mapi didn't let it distract her from swallowing up every moan and whimper that threatened to escape from your lips. "you're doing so good, it's okay. let ingrid do her thing."

"fuck, fuck, fuck," you repeated again and again. mapi felt your body tense on top of hers, and that was when she knew you were gone. as loud as you could be while being fucked, you always went dead silent when you came. ingrid began to back away, stopping only when she heard you and mapi talking to each other. the little confessions of love after sex were secrectly mapi's favorite. if she was ever asked, you knew that she'd say something cocky about the way you looked cumming on her fingers or strap, but truthfully, she loved the way you curled into her as the two of you showered each other in love and adoration.

"rest now," ingrid said as she took the spot next to you on the bed. mapi slipped away to get something to clean you up with as you and ingrid lazily made out on the bed. you were so tired, enough so that you were ready to fall asleep right there in her arms. ingrid kept you awake and distracted enough for mapi to clean you up and pick out some clothes for all of you to wear to bed.

"thank you, i think i needed this," you mumbled against ingrid's chest. this time, ingrid laid in between you and mapi, both of you with your head resting against ingrid's chest. ingrid had one hand on mapi's back and the other in your hair, both of them scratching lightly. "i love you, both of you."

"we love you too," mapi told you. she reached over and twirled a strand of your hair around her finger.

"whenever you need us, don't hesitate to ask," ingrid said. you glanced up at her and smiled. you couldn't help it, there was rarely ever a time you could remember not smiling when you saw ingrid. "we'll always be here to take care of you, in whatever ways you need."

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

"Why Would You Bother With Me?" - An Analysis of Kitsunami, 09/07/2024

tw: major discussions of abuse, the cycle of abuse, re-traumatizing situations, toxic and abusive relationships (non-romantic)

so like when I first read this panel my reaction was just to joke with Cori that this is a "get out of my school" moment (iykyk) but I've been thinking about it a lot recently because I... couldn't remember any specific beef Kit had with Tails?

Last we saw of them interacting one-on-one, Tails was talking Kit down from fighting, and Kit's beef with the squad later was more with Sonic than him. Tails didn't take down Surge in #56 or even affect the fight in any way, and Sonic was the one who told Kit that Surge was dead beforehand. At least that I could remember, so I went back to those comics. Indeed, in #56 he shows no animosity towards Tails specifically, nor when he talks to Surge in #55.

Then I went back to #54.

See, he does seem to blame Sonic entirely for the Surge death fakeout, and he thinks that Sonic is literally trying to kill her when he walks in. But he does have one (1) reaction to Tails, right at the end of the interaction.

In the previous issue, after Sonic and Tails saved his life, Kit immediately switched on his subservient personality and was desperate for any kind of validation from the hedgehog. We only see it for a few panels before he is told about Surge and sinks into a depressive state, but it's made very obvious.

And when he leaves to help?

Kit's conditioning under Starline means that he is excessively codependent on Surge– and if Surge isn't around, on anyone who is nice to him. The hypnotic repetition shown to us was "You live to support Surge. You'll do anything for her." Kit's sole purpose in life is to be a Support party member.

Kit's conditioning was to be the new Tails.

Starline wanted Surge and Kit to replace Sonic and Tails– that much was obvious from the get-go. But what was also obvious was his fundamental misunderstanding of Sonic and Tails's dynamic and how that negatively impacts Surge and Kit's relationship.

Starline completely misses the strong sibling bond that Sonic and Tails have. To him, Tails is just there to support Sonic, to provide the brains and tech that Sonic lacks, and so Kit needs to be there to support Surge in the same way. He sees it only as a business partnership, and not a mutual relationship built on trust, love, and shared experiences. Starline only saw other people as tools, so obviously he projected that onto Surge and Kit, hoping that they would immediately take up the closeness that Sonic and Tails did because, well, they served the same purpose to each other, right?

Except Surge and Kit don't have that relationship. These two children were forced into the same proximity and made to work together. They're coworkers at best, being told to act like a family.

Obviously their dynamic is super toxic, with Surge clearly holding a lot of power over Kit, but it's also clear that this isn't because Surge wants to beat on the kid. She was made to be Sonic, and so she has his arrogance (and possibly Shadow's, considering IS1 showed his image when Starline was talking about stealing abilities), but, as Boom!Sonic says, "Without any of the awesomeness to back it up." Okay, wrong, she's plenty awesome, the correct phrase is "Without the experience" and, most importantly, "without the altruism that makes Sonic Sonic." Surge wasn't programmed to like the people she saves, because that would conflict with Starline's goal to take over the world. So she's only made to be competitive and to want to best Sonic, anyone inbetween them be damned. This clashes with Kit's programming to not only be liked, but to be liked by Surge. Surge was also programmed to believe fully in herself in order to enhance the arrogant trait, and Kit was made to give her the help that she doesn't want.

To Surge, Kit represents everything holding her back. And she's not built to view him as a person, because Starline doesn't view him or her as people. Obviously this doesn't absolve her of her treatment of him, and later issues showing her getting more and more aware as she becomes more social is definitely going to impact the way she views him– or, if it doesn't make her reconsider Kit's personhood, it'll serve to make her more antagonistic for the viewer.

But the point is, Sonic trusts Tails because he knows and respects him as a person. It isn't just because Tails can help him, but because he knows Tails will. Surge, at this point in the comic, not only doesn't view Kit as a friend, she doesn't even care what he thinks or feels.

And despite the brainwashing, I don't think Kit is oblivious to this. He knows how bad their situation is, but he is so conditioned to accept it that he can't escape it whatsoever. In both fights with Tails, Tails talks him down easily because Kit doesn't want to hurt anyone. Kit only reacts violently when Surge is brought up, because he's meant to do anything she wants.

Like he said to Belle, he was made for Surge. And what he says directly after– "Sonic can use me, too." Kit doesn't even view himself as a person, only a tool– that's how far Starline's brainwashing went. It's clearly even affecting Surge, who realized in the latest issue, #72, how fast she and Kit fell into their abusive patterns again once Clutch took over– they were conditioned to be tools. Clutch claimed to want to help them, but really he was just using them for his own ends, just like Starline. So they went back to the familiar.

And speaking of familiar– pain is familiar to Kit, specifically pain in service to others. In his breakdown in #50, he says that Starline made him happy he'd been hurt. And in Imposter Syndrome #3 and #4, we see that him and Surge hate Starline and want to usurp him... but also are still trapped in the patterns he implanted in them. Surge still wants to kill Sonic and outperform everyone else. Kit still can't do anything but what she wants, to the point he becomes near catatonic when he believes she's dead.

Another pattern Kit is still trapped in is the idea that he has to be okay with his own suffering.

The only sense of home or family Surge and Kit have is in each other, but they fundamentally can't work together, at least as they are currently. Kit is expected to take Surge's anger, and Surge isn't expected to treat him like his own person.

And this, I think, is Kit's problem with Tails.

He was made to be Tails, and he knows this, but he can never have what Tails has. He can never live up to Tails and do what Tails can do, despite that being his entire life's purpose.

He doesn't hate Tails because he was programmed to– as he says to Surge, he only wants to destroy Sonic because she wants to. When he first encounters Tails, he refers to him as his target- a simple, unemotional term. He doesn't have the deep ingrained hatred for him that Surge does for Sonic.

Instead, he hates Tails because of what he sees in him. He sees Sonic and Tails interact, he sees how much Sonic trusts and relies on Tails, and he sees how he also loves and respects him. He sees how Tails has his own motivations and opinions, and he's experienced Tails's genuine compassion that was in part fostered by the hedgehog that raised him. In turn, Tails is loyal to Sonic, but not because he has to be– because he, in turn, loves Sonic and wants to be with him.

Kit only wants to be with Surge because he was forced to. Starline wanted to use Surge and Kit to stop Sonic and Eggman's cycle, but he made a whole new one instead. Kit is trapped in a cycle of pain, knows he's trapped in it, and is helpless to escape it.

Tails isn't, and Kit sees that in Tails. Subconsciously, he sees Tails and only sees how he fails to live up to his life's mission, and how he'll never have what Tails has.

After all, why would anyone bother with him? They already have Tails.

Is he a target? I like it here now.

[ninii-winchester]

But daddy, I love him

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Demon!Reader

Word count : 3.6k

Warnings : angst (if you squint), foul language.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Dean was bored. No, he was beyond bored. There were no cases and Sam was, well, being Sam. He had his nose buried in some book and he refused to acknowledge Dean's situation. He kept throwing paper balls at Sam just to annoy him and he finally succeeded when Sam slammed his book shut and glared at his brother.

"What the hell is your problem.?" He snapped.

"Ah so nice of you to notice." Dean started sarcastically, "in case it wasn't obvious. I'm bored."

"If you're bored read some lore books." Sam suggested with a shrug.

"I want to kill my boredom not die myself." Dean rolled his eyes. Sam made a bitch face before answering,

"Go out to a bar or something." He got up from his chair and left the library. Dean perked up,

"Good idea Sammy. I'm heading out." He announced leaving the bunker.

He arrived at the nearest bar, settling on one of the barstools he ordered himself a drink. His eyes search the space, trying to find something or someone interesting, his eyes dropped a figure a few seats to his left. She looked familiar. He looked at her for a few seconds before it clicked, he'd hooked up with her years back.

Now normally he wouldn't be able to recognise anyone he hooked up with several years back, but he remembered her because she looked exactly the same. It had been years and she didn't change even a bit. And the fact that he thought about her quite often. More than he'd like to admit.

He couldn't help but think if she remembered him. He wouldn't know if he didn't ask. Besides he didn't have anything better to do so he approached her.

"Hey." Dean said sitting down beside her.

"Hi." She smiled looking at him. It was hard to decipher if she remembered him or was just being friendly. "I know you." She added making his release a breath.

"So you do remember." He smirked at her.

"Do you really think you're forgettable, Dean?" She questioned with a sly smile on her face. He laughed at her comment, shaking his head.

"I must say, you haven't aged a day since I've last seen you." Dean spoke gulping down his drink. "And it's been like what? Nine years?"

The two had met when Sam had left for Stanford and John had gone God knows where, and Dean was free to do whatever. He was hunting a werewolf. After he killed the creature, he found a bar and ended up her in bed. They spent three weeks together before John called Dean back.

"Nine years." She nodded. "But you haven't aged yourself." She replied glacing at him.

"No really, you're just exactly how I remember you." He said looking at her in amazement.

"Yeah? Above you or beneath you?" She whispered leaning closer to him. He wasn't expecting her to be this straight with him so it caught him a bit off guard.

Dean quickly collected himself and answered with a smirk. "Both."

"Good to know I'm not the only one who still thinks about it." She added and he nodded.

The two had spent weeks together but it wasn't just hooking up. Dean took her out on dates and she cooked for him sometimes. They cuddled, played games, talked about anything and everything, music, movies, dreams. Everything except their personal lives. And they had sex. It was as if they were together but without any labels, and when Dean left there were no hard feelings.

"So what brings you to Kansas?" Dean questioned, looking at her with curiosity.

"Ah you know me, i go where the wind takes me." She replied with a shrug.

"So you mean you're still wandering around?"

She nodded her head before speaking.

"And you're not?" She laughed.

"Nah I've got a place now. With my brother." Dean replied vaguely, not wanting to drag her into the mess called 'hunting life'.

"Cool." She bit her lip, she completely turned her body towards him. "Do you wanna get out of here? My motel is right infront of this place." She added seductively, her hand placed on his chest.

"With pleasure, sweetheart." Dean said helping her stand, he threw a few bills on the counter which were more than enough to cover both their drinks, he pulled her out of the bar.

The moment she entered the room her back was slammed against the door and his lips were attacking hers. She moaned in his mouth, his hands touching everywhere he could. He picked her up and dropped her on the bed. Clothes were ripped and thrown haphazardly. Their kiss was hungry and needy. For the next few hours the only sound that could be heard was of the slapping of his skin against hers, her moans and his groans and the filthy words he spoke that she loved so much.

"Fuck, I thought you were good back then but now you're just..." she trailed off panting, laying on top of him.

"You're one to say." Dean replied, his own breathing ragged. He dragged his fingers on her bare bare soothingly. "Missed this." He spoke after a minutes of silence. "Missed you."

"I did too." She said leaning up to peck his lips. "This is cozy." She added snuggling up to him. He wrapped his arms around her firmly. She laid her head on his chest when she noticed his tattoo. "Hey. I like your tattoo, what does it mean?" She said tracing it with her finger. He froze for a second.

"I don't know actually, I uh.. I saw it at the tattoo shop, and I just liked it." He lied through his teeth. She nodded laying her head back down.

The next morning, Dean woke up by the sound of his phone ringing. He groaned before answering his phone. It was Sam, asking where he was and that he needs to be back. Y/n felt Dean move beneath her and woke up.

"I have to go." He said sitting up, she pouted clutching the sheets to her chest as she watched him put his clothes back on.

"So soon?" Dean chuckled lightly before kissing her.

"We could do this again, for as long as you're here in Kansas." Dean said tying his shoes, sitting on the edge of the bed. She moved closer so she could hug him from behind.

"De." She said resting her head on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at her. She was quiet for a moment, she seemed lost in thought.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"I meant it when I said I missed you." She mumbled against his shoulder. He tilted his head to look at her better. He gave her a confused look not getting where she was going with this. She unwrapped her arms from his torso and shifted to his side, and straddled his waist. He leaned back a bit so she could sit comfortably. He gripped her hips, holding her gaze. "Dean, those three weeks were the best days of my life. I never thought I'd ever meet you again. In my entire life no one has ever made me feel the way you do, can we.. could we try-" Her heart dropped the moment his grip loosened and he avoided eye contact. She whispered a quiet "oh" and quickly got off his lap.

"Y/n-"

"I get it, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." She was embarrassed, she really thought he felt the same.

"You didn't. It's just... it's complicated." Dean said standing up from where he sat on the bed.

"Yeah, no.. I get it." She nodded not meeting his gaze. Before either of them could say anything else, Dean's phone rang again. He sighed before answering.

"Yes Sam, I'm on my way. Yeah." He spoke into the phone before hanging up. He gave her one last glance before walking out of the door.

It had been three days since Dean walked out of her motel room and she felt pretty shitty. She basically asked him out and he outright rejected her. She sat at the small table, nursing a glass of scotch when she heard a knock on the door. She opened the door expecting anyone but Dean, yet here he was.

"Not gonna invite me in, sweetheart?" He asked leaning against the doorframe.

"Find someone else to wet your dick." She rolled her eyes, closing the door but stopped it with his foot.

"C'mon don't be like that. I just want to talk." He said softly, prompting her to open the door wider. She walked back and he entered inside. "Look, I know I was a dick last time you saw me, but like I said it's complicated." She didn't speak or even acknowledge his words. "I would love nothing more than to be with you but it'd be hard." She raised her brow at him and he rubbed his face. "I'm gone, alot. I wouldn't be here everytime you need me. And you, you never stay at one place for a long time. I'm willingly to do this if you're okay with it."

"You really think I wouldn't stay, if you'd ask?" She said walking towards him. "Dean, the last time I felt something, felt alive was nine years ago. I was callous before and after you." She said honestly and her words couldn't have been anymore true. She was a demon. She hadn't felt, feelings for as long as she can remember. But with Dean, she felt everything there is.

"Let's do this." Dean leaned down kissing her softly. For the past three days all he did was think. He still wasn't sure what prompted him to give in to her, but it's time he started living for himself a bit.

Months passed, Y/n had gotten herself an apartment in Kansas, her and Dean had been going strong. They went out for drives, Dean stayed over sometimes, and had phenomenal sex whenver they could. Y/n had yet to visit his "place" since his brother doesn't know about them and she was fine with it. Part of her was relieved Dean couldn't stay longer. She didn't have to keep her "human charade" up.

Unbeknownst to them, both of them were hiding a significant secret from each other. But that was until,

"Princess, you can't go in there, his majesty is in an important meeting-" A measely demon tried to stop her from entering the chamber Crowley has his 'throne' in.

"Shut up before I disintegrate you into nothing." She sneered, her eyes turned completely black. She knew she wouldn't do but that demon didn't know that nor did he need to know. She pushed open the door, her father sitting on his so called throne while two men stood in front of him, their backs to her. She was too angry to recognise the silhouette of the body in front of her. "How many times do I have to tell you not-"

"Darlin' I'm a bit occupied at the moment." The man with the Scottish accent interrupted her. The two men turned around and her eyes widened.

"Dean, What're you doing here?" She questioned. His face seemed like he'd seen a ghost. He was shocked and confused. The other man, she assumed his brother, Sam raised his brows in confusion as well.

"Squirrel, you know my daughter?" Crowley questioned standing up.

"Your daughter?" Dean's jaw clenched as he looked back and forth between the shorter man and his daughter. She was flabbergasted and didn't know if she could get out of this situation. When she saw some demons following her, she confronted them, they revealed her father had sent them to keep an eye on her. The only reason she was here was to tell him to back off.

"You're on nickname basis with the King of Hell?" She joked looking at Dean. He glared at her and her grin dropped.

"What exactly is happening here?" Sam questioned feeling completely out of loop.

"That is exactly what I would like to know!" Crowley demanded looking at Dean and Y/n.

"What is happening is here, I just found out I've been sleeping with the Princess of Hell." Dean gritted his teeth. "You put her up to this, didn't you?" He glared at Crowley.

"She's my daughter, not some hooker. And why would I even do that? We're besties, aren't we?" He said as if they had been childhod buddies. "Wait a minute, you're sleeping with Dean Winchester?" Crowley looked at his daughter, disappointed. "He's a goddamn hunter."

"You say as if it's a bad thing." She mumbled "I didn't know he's a hunter." She shrugged. "I didn't even know his last name until now."

"You've seen him naked, you didn't see his anti possession tattoo?" Sam asked, clearing getting a kick out this situation. Dean glared at his brother.

"Well I asked him about it he said he didn't know what it was, the last time I choked a guy half to death because of that tattoo and turned out it was some nerd book thing, Supernatural or whatever." She countered throwing her hands in the air. Sam shook his head at the mention of the Supernatural books.

"How could you hide this from me?" Dean questioned the look of betrayal all over his face.

"Yeah sure, I could've just walked up to you and said, hey Dean I'm a demon." She rolled her eyes. "You didn't tell me you were a hunter either. Had I told you the truth you would've killed me."

"This is different." Dean replied.

"Alright Romeo Juliet. Whatever it is, this is done here. Y/n, I forbid you to see him." Crowley intervened.

"But Daddy I love him." She replied and the three men present in the room froze.

"I need a drink." Crowley said.

Dean looked at her wide eyed, still processing her words. A demon is in love with him, before knowing her real identity, Dean himself felt something for her but right now he wasn't so sure. Y/n bit her lip, looking at the green eyed hunter.

"We should talk." She said walking over to him. "Privately." She added loudly looking at her father. Crowley rolled his eyes before snapping his fingers, him and Sam disappearing from the room. Dean looked surprised Crowley didn't throw a fit when told to do something. "He loves me." She said as if she had read his mind.

Dean was silent for a moment and the everything came crashing into him at full speed, his supposed girlfriend is a demon, not just some demon but she's the daughter of the King of Hell. He's been sleeping with the Princess of Hell and apparently she's in love with him.

"What the fuck!" Dean exclaimed, extremely pissed.

"Dean, let me explain. I promise I won't lie about anything."

"You're a demon, demons lie all the time, you've been lying to me this whole time." He snapped at her.

"I didn't lie about anything, I just hid one fact. Besides you're the one who approached me at the bar, both times." She felt herself getting defensive. "I'm not like other demons you've met. I'm not evil. Hell I didn't even ask for this." She felt herself tear up.

"I don't even know who you are!" Dean exclaimed. "Who's body are you even wearing."

"It's mine." She replied.

"That's not possible, if you're Crowley's daughter you're atleast over two hundred years old how'd your body even..." he trailed off. "What do you mean you didn't even ask for this?"

"I'm the reason he's what he is." She started. "If you know him closely you'd know his relationship with his mother." Dean nodded urging her to continue, "so when I was born he swore he'd be the parent he never got. He gave me everything he could, loved me too much." Her voice cracked, "When I was fifteen, I was diagnosed with a terminal disease, and we're talking centuries back, I was gonna die. So my father, Fergus made a deal. My life for his soul. Ten year later they took him. He became a demon, kept an eye one me. He was happy that I was alive, When I was twenty seven I got into a fatal accident, I died. And he couldn't bear that so he transformed me with magic or shit I don’t know. He made me a demon. That way I would be with him forever."

Dean hadn't taken Crowley to be a man capable of love, he always thought of him as an evil son of a bitch who was the King of Hell and was there to cause trouble for him and his brother.

"He became the King of Hell because of me, just to give me everything I could ever need, he didn't realise by doing he kept me alive, but over the it made unhappy and lonely. I could never find love, I could never feel a thing. But nine years ago I met you, and I felt something, I don't how or why but I did, then you left." She whispered staring at him. "And then we met again, I thought I could finally get what I wanted, but I was naive to think it would work. I'm sorry Dean I never meant to hurt you, I just thought you're just a guy that I'll outlive and you'd never find the truth."

"This is a lot to take in." Dean said shaking his head. "I'm sorry about what happened to you." She nodded her head not knowing what else to say. "Is it true? What you said?" He asked cautiously.

"About loving you? Yes. I mean I don't know what love feels like, it's been a long time, but you do make me feel like I did when I was human. So yeah I do love you Dean. And I know you might not want anything to do with me after all this. But I'd do anything for you." She replied honestly. She'd been lonely for the past centuries, she's willing to do anything to feel something again.

"I did...uh" he cleared his throat before speaking, "I did feel something for you before this whole ficasso and I'd be lying if I said you being a demon changed it." Dean took a step towards her, "you said you're willing to do anything for this to work?" She nodded her head in affirmation, her eyes filled with hope. "We know how to cure a demon, make them human again."

"You do?" She asked looking surprised.

"Yeah, your father didn't tell you? We almost turned him human!" He chuckled.

"I told you I don't keep up with his evil shenanigans. If I did I'd have known all about you." Dean nodded in understanding.

"So do you-"

"Yes." She didn't even let him finish. "I'd do it."

"It might hurt." Dean warned "and what about your father?"

"Dean, I'm tired of being lonely for centuries. Yes I love my father but he has to let go someday. I can't live like this anymore."

To say Crowley threw a fit when he heard Y/n's decison was an understatement. He was beyond pissed. He went off on Dean, cursing at him, telling him he's always causing problems for him. It took Y/n a while to convince him but he came around when he realised this is where her true happines laid. Even if he was the King of Hell and Dean was his frenemy, he was still Y/n’s father and did gave Dean the 'you hurt her I'll kill you' talk.

The Winchester brothers took her to the Bunker and Sam prepared to cure her. They cuffed her to the chair in the dungeon inside the devil's trap. Sam had gone to bring the human blood, Dean kneeled infront of her. He cupped her face in his hands.

"It's gonna be okay. I'm right here."

"I trust you, Dean." She smiled at him. He placed kissed on her forehead when Sam came back.

Hours later, Y/n was screaming and groaning as they continued to inject her with human blood. Dean felt bad, wanting it to be over soon. When Sam was done, Y/n was sweaty and her head lolled to the side as she threaded on the edge of consciousness.

"Hey, sweetheart." Dean patted her cheek lightly. She slowly opened her eyes, her black eyes now y/e/c, full of life. She gave him a tired smile.

"Hiya, Dean."

Dean moved aside allowing Sam to pour holy water on her and she flinched at the sudden splash.

"Sorry, Y/n. It's Procedure." Sam apologised. She nodded lightly, she would've waved him off but her hands were tied. Her flesh didn't sizzle and the two brothers nodded at each other. She blinked a couple of time to adjust her eyes. Dean uncuffed her hands and helped her stand.

"Hi baby." Dean said holding her waist. She didn't waste anytime, pulling him for a kiss which he gladly returned.

"I didn't need to see that." Sam said loudly making them pull apart. "Congratulations Y/n, you're human now."

"Thank you for helping me, Sam." She told the taller man and he smiled at her.

"Thanking just him?" Dean complained.

"Well I thought I'd thank you some other way but if you just need the words...." Dean didn't let her finish before picking her up and making his way towards his bedroom.

Tags:

@deans-baby-momma @bansheesandbutterflies

[poweringthroughthis]

fever dream | nakamoto yuta

nsfw, mdni

pair: yuta x male reader

desc: Being an avid NCTzen for a while now, you can't believe the events that transpire once you finally get to attend the NCT concert in your country, and meet your biggest bias.

warnings: dirty talk, oral, anal s*x

It was most definitely a fever dream. Korean fans are truly lucky with how often they get opportunities to see their favorite artists perform live. The rest of us, on the other hand, check whether the name of our country has been included in the artist's list for the latest world tour, while we happily cheer them on from the confines of our homes. But as they say, good things shall come to those who wait. You never thought such a day would actually come but it has, and here you are, standing at the entrance of the stadium that NCT was set to perform at today!

For obvious reasons, your nerves were all over the place. You couldn't get rid of the giddiness no matter how much you tried to normalize the day mentally. In fact, the idea of soothing your nerves was what brought you here, at the venue.....four hours in advance. The entry gates were closed and security had barely begun overseeing the arrangements. As you took in the surroundings, two or three vans came to a halt in front of the gate. It didn't take much of a genius to guess the Neos had arrived. Your heart started ringing in your eardrums. You were about to see them in the flesh.

They were surrounded by bodyguards from all directions but you could see a comparatively relaxed formation of their security since no fans were here yet. You were admiring the boys from a distance as they came out of the vans in sweats, not wishing to misuse this opportunity and get in their personal space. Then you saw him, and your heart stopped for a second. Your bias, Nakamoto Yuta. He was absolutely ethereal. You almost missed his brief glance at you, chalking it up to your delusions. But it was hard not to faint when he asked the security guard something, pointing discreetly in your direction before he went in, trailing the other members.

The guard gestured you over but you were still somewhat confused. "Hey, you! You're here for the concert, aren't you? Mr. Yuta said you can wait backstage if you want to." Your eyes widened comically. Did you hear that right? You were afraid you were going to need CPR, this was a little too surreal for a random Saturday.

"um, but can I ask why?" you managed to croak out.

"Kid, do I look like I know that? Get in if you want to, or keep standing in the heat. I have work to do." he replied gruffly and you quickly entered the premises.

Finding the green rooms wasn't much of a hassle, with the halls being void of anyone and a door reading 'NCT 127' in ginormous font. The rooms must be divided based on subunits, you figured. The door made a creaking noise as you you shakily opened it and peeked inside.

Only one person was present, you couldn't see their face since they had their back towards you but it was easy to confirm by their hair color. It was Yuta. He seemed to be busy, either doing vocal warm ups or texting, but you had to clear this misunderstanding. "Hi? Um, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting but-"

"No, it's fine. You can come in." he turned around, smiling at you. He had a smile so radiant, you wondered how many hearts he had already captured with that smile alone. "I told the security to let you in."

"Uh, thanks? I think there has been a huge misunderstanding, I don't know you personally but you're free to correct me if I'm wrong." you replied, slightly more nervous now. He raised his eyebrow at that and motioned you to go on. "But, you're like a celebrity and I'm a nobody. I just want to make sure you're not mistaking me for someone else and you aren't in trouble or anything. It's okay if you need me to leave."

"Well, I've never met a 'nobody' before." he grinned, "You are very attractive, if I'm being honest. And you're welcome to stay as long as you want."

"T-thank you"

He was sitting on the sofa, the one closest to the door and he patted the space beside him, motioning you to sit down. You were unsure if that was appropriate, considering you had met the guy not even five minutes ago but it didn't feel right to deny.

"What's your name, cutie?"

"Uh, it's y/n"

"That's cute. Do you have any social media?"

"Y-yes."

"Let me follow you then, I don't really post but I'd like seeing pictures of you."

"Um, okay. If you want to, I mean." you were a stuttering mess, you couldn't believe this was happening. He followed your instagram handle, liking a few posts before following and you had never felt more self conscious in your life. You wanted to hide, you knew the pictures he was liking were all your cringey photos and selfies from your rare confidence boosts.

"Hey, are you shy around me?"

"Y-yes...sorry, this is really overwhelming. I've just been such a big fan for the longest-"

"A fan, huh? Tell me, is it a big turn off if I kissed you right now?"

You stared at him incredulously. "Um, well...I'm not sure if you're asking for my opinion."

"Oh, but I am." he smirked, moving closer. He had a hand placed on your thigh and his face was mere inches away. "What's the verdict?"

"No, not a turn off. Not at all." you said, barely above a whisper.

"Great. You're a sweet little thing if I've ever seen one." he said before closing the gap and capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. It was slow and sensual. He tasted like strawberry, probably because of the lip balm you thought.

Your hands went up to caress his face, and he placed his hands on your waist, bringing you even closer. You couldn't tell how much time had passed, the two of you were completely engrossed in each other. His hand trailed down to your ass and gave it a squeeze, eliciting a surprised gasp. You didn't want to, but you broke the kiss and stared at him.

"I'm not going to push you if you don't want this, I'd like to have your consent."

"I want it."

"Are you sure? We're complete strangers, you have no reason to trust me."

"I know, but I've had a crush on you for a long time. You can do whatever you want, honestly"

"Fuck, that's hot. I don't know how I'm gonna control myself, but I'm willing to try."

With that, he went back to kissing you. He started getting a little more aggressive with his movements, sucking your lower lip. He slowly trailed his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance and you opened your mouth slightly, letting his tongue in. He was so experienced, you could only melt in his arms. You tried your best to keep up but were mostly overwhelmed. It was..your first steamy encounter, after all.

You broke the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting your mouths. Yuta stared at you with lust filled eyes, a smirk plastered on his face. "You're doing so good for me, kitten."

"I am?"

"Yeah, I'm going to make you feel good, so good." He got up and locked the door, turning back towards you and you realized that this was happening. He went back to sit next to you, bringing his lips back onto yours, his hands going under your shirt. You moaned softly as his fingers grazed your nipple. "You're so sensitive."

You broke the kiss. "Yuta, I'm a virgin."

He groaned and kissed your neck. "I can't believe I get to pop your cherry." He continued trailing kisses down your neck, his hands squeezing your nipples. Your hands roamed his back and shoulders, enjoying the way his muscles rippled under your touch.

"Take your shirt off, baby." He removed his own shirt, exposing his well built upper body. You felt yourself grow wetter just by looking at him. His body was truly godlike, his toned muscles glistening. You couldn't help but stare.

"You're so beautiful" he whispered. "You're going to look even more beautiful once I'm done with you." He started unbuttoning your shirt, taking it off completely and throwing it away. Your breath hitched, your body was exposed and Yuta was staring at it like a starved animal. He bent his head down and captured a nipple between his lips, licking and sucking, his fingers teasing the other. You were a moaning mess, the feeling was too much.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes, god yes"

"Good. Tell me, have you ever touched yourself, baby?"

"Y-yes"

"And what were you thinking about when you did it?"

"You"

He groaned at that and pulled down your pants, along with your underwear. He kissed his way down from your chest to your thighs. His mouth was hovering over your dick and he looked up at you with a devilish smirk, "I'm going to suck you off, is that alright?"

"Please, I've never felt anyone's mouth down there"

"Good." He started by giving a tentative lick and you whimpered. He smirked and licked the underside, swirling his tongue around the tip. He slowly took the whole thing in his mouth and you threw your head back, moaning.

"F-fuck, feels so good"

He was bobbing his head, his tongue swirling around your dick, his cheeks hollowed. The feeling was incredible, you had never felt anything like it. You were bucking your hips and gripping his hair, trying not to cum.

"Cum in my mouth, baby"

And you were a goner. This was the craziest day ever. Yuta just said that to you. You wished you could replay the sound of that a hundred times over.

You came in his mouth, and he swallowed it all, moaning. He stood up and licked his lips. You were a panting mess, coming down from your high.

"You're such a good boy for me"

"M-more"

"Don't worry, we're not done yet"

He started undoing his belt, taking his pants off and throwing them aside. He was wearing a pair of black boxers, and his erection was evident. He pulled them down, his dick springing free and you were in awe. It was big, and thick, and you couldn't help but stare. He chuckled, "Like what you see?"

"Yes, it's so big"

"And it's all yours, baby." He stroked himself a few times, his precum leaking. "Are you ready, kitten?"

"Yes"

"Get on your knees." You obediently got down on your knees, facing away from him. He lined his dick with your entrance, rubbing it against your hole. You nodded. He slowly pushed the tip in, and it felt like your whole body was on fire.

"Fuck, you're so tight"

He grabbed your hips, and started thrusting, slowly. You were moaning and whimpering, the feeling was so intense. You had never felt anything like it. You were being stretched open, your hole being filled to the brim.

"Y-Yuta, faster"

"You like that, huh? You like my cock?"

"Y-yes, I love it"

He picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming faster. "Thought you were innocent, baby. Who would have guessed you'd turn out to be such a slut."

"Fuck, Yuta!"

"That's right, say my name."

You were being pounded into the floor, and you were loving every second of it. He was fucking you so good, his cock hitting your sweet spot. You were moaning and whimpering, unable to hold back.

"Fuck, you're so sexy. I'm close."

He chuckled. "My sweet little angel, you can't get enough of me."

You were close to climaxing, the pleasure was so intense, you could barely think straight. You were a moaning mess, Yuta was grunting and breathing heavily. He was pounding into you, his thrusts becoming more erratic.

"After today, I'll make sure you keep coming back for more. Make you feel good, just like this. Gonna ruin you for anyone else. You'll be begging for my cock, and only my cock."

"Fuck, Yuta!" You cried out, nearing your orgasm, his dirty talk sending you over the edge. You could tell you wouldn't last much longer.

"I'll turn you into a dumb cock slut. I'll train you to take my dick in your ass every day. I'll fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk."

"Please, fuck me harder. Make me yours."

"You'll be walking to the concert ground funny. You'll be so fucked out, you won't be able to function. I'll make sure of that."

"F-fuck, Yuta!"

With that, you were both pushed over the edge, and you came, hard. Your vision went white, and your body was wracked with pleasure. You could feel him filling you up, his warm seed filling your ass as he pulled your head back towards him, neck straining as he sloppily kissed you.

You were both panting and spent. You had just had sex with the man of your dreams. He was still inside of you, and he was still kissing you. It was a passionate kiss, and you could feel his adoration for you. You were so lucky.

"You did so good for me, baby." He whispered. "Such a good boy for me."

You were too blissed out to reply. Your brain was not cooperating with the rest of your body, still in a state of euphoria.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

Yuta picked you up bridal style, taking you to the bathroom, your head resting on his chest. You had never felt so loved.

"Give me your number? I promise we can sneak off to a date whenever I'm off schedules. It won't be that easy, I know."

"I'd like that."

"It's a date then. I hope I didn't disappoint" he smirked.

"I should be asking that. I was a virgin."

"Baby, I'm happy you chose me. And if I may add, you were amazing. If not for the security standing outside, I'd have kept fucking you throughout the night."

"Oh god, please don't make me blush"

"I'll make it up to you."

And he did. The next concert stop, you found yourself on his bed, naked, being ravaged by him. And the day after that, and the day after that. Soon the two of you were something more, and neither person could have asked for more.

Maybe reaching the concert venue too early wasn't as stupid as you'd thought.

[oneofstarkskids]

learn a thing or two

genre: flufffff

pairings: WLW, fury!reader x carol danvers

summary: carol has tried everything to get you to realize she's flirting. when nothing seems to click, she starts to wonder if she's falling for an idiot.

*not my gif*

carol was walking down the halls of SHIELD, smirking at the gasps and whispers she would hear. "oh my god, she's here!" "i've never seen her in person." "isn't that-"

she took the elevator to the floor that held fury's office. to be perfectly honest, she didn't need to be here- on earth- anymore. surely there were other places in the galaxy that required her attention and specific skill set, but she had been distracted as of late.

and there it was once again. that pretty little distraction standing in the center of fury's office holding a stack of files. her eyes trailed up your body. the pantsuit you had on was nice, but carol couldn't help wondering what it would look like on the floor.

"fury," she nods as she enters the room. you turn around at the sound of her voice. she looks like the personification of sunlight. dammit. focus.

nick responds, "carol. surprised to see you still here."

she never takes her eyes off of you, "actually, i was talking to this one." you raise a brow ever so slightly in surprise. your father just frowns.

carol let's a playful smirk dance across her lips, and you quickly turn back towards your father. "if that's all, then i will take these down to central and have someone organize them."

you're walking down the hall for only a few moments before the tall blonde appears beside you. "need any help with that?" she offers flirtatiously.

you don't seem to pick up her tone and shake your head, "that's alright. it's just files, but thanks."

her brows knit together, "okay well...maybe after work we can go for drinks."

you think it over for a moment, "can't. i have an early takeoff tomorrow. romanoff and i are busting some drug traffickers in peru. we've had surveillance on them for months now and they're finally letting their guard down."

carol laughed, "you could learn a thing or two from them."

"what do you mean?" you asked, completely oblivious.

she scanned your face for any sign of sarcasm. you were painfully serious. could you really not tell that she was hitting on you? carol didn't know how to make it any more obvious. "nevermind."

"you know...you better get back quick because i'm only going to be here for a couple more days," and when you didn't say much in reply she stopped walking.

you turned to see why she had stopped so abruptly. she had this exasperated look on her face. "is everything okay?" you asked.

carol's frown only deepened, "jesus, fury, what's it gonna take for you to notice a girl?"

"fury's my dad-" you corrected her.

she ignored you. it wasn't her fault you shared a last name with the man.

"i've been dropping hints all day. actually, screw that, all week!" she said in frustration. she was starting to wonder if you didn't like her back, but she'd seen the way you looked at her. she knew gay when she saw gay.

the only other explanation was that you were just plain stupid. "i don't know what you're-" you started.

carol couldn't bear to listen to that pretty little mouth say one more thing. she slowly made her way towards you, "let me put it simply."

"i've stayed on this planet longer than i have in a while. i spend every second that i'm at SHIELD trying to get your attention and i'm practically begging you to go on a date with me. how can you not see that?" she asked.

you looked somewhat confused and even a bit terrified.

"i thought you just saw me as fury's daughter," you said.

carol shook her head and reached up towards your chin, "i don't think about fury. i think about you."

her eyes fell down to your lips.

you'd had feelings for her before, but it always felt like she was off limits. carol just seemed emotionally unavailable in some ways, but then again...some could say the same about you.

but standing here with her looking at you like she'd set the world on fire just to touch your skin, it made your whole body light up.

you could feel electricity surging through you, but all you could focus on were her lips. it didn't even seem to matter that you were at work and anyone could be watching.

carol didn't move. she wanted you to put in the effort and you were more than willing. you leaned in quickly and suddenly all the built up tension was set free.

her hands found your waist and pulled you even closer.

"uh ehm," someone cleared their throat. you pulled away, flushed, to find your father standing a few feet away.

and despite the discomfort in his face and awkward energy that filled the air, you couldn't help but be grateful that he interrupted the kiss.

otherwise, you weren't entirely sure you'd be able to stop.

[ghoulsbounty]

Hii! What's your headcanons about relationship with Otis Driftwood? Nothing too violent towards reader after they became a s/o, if you could, without going into ooc <3

Otis Driftwood In a Relationship

Warnings: smut (18+), control, possessiveness, gaslighting, mentions of sex work (not reader), canon-typical violence, aggression, narcissism, it's otis - he is a warning!

Words: 1.1K

A/N: Thank you for my first Otis request! I've been in love with this man for going on twenty years so I have lots of headcanons for him. I feel like this is realistically (to me) how he would have a relationship with someone who wasn't either a victim or murderer while still keeping him in character (I hope!) Also yes I had to get the quote in the last bullet, I was watching the film as I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it. I’d love to know what you all think to this, and feel free to send me more requests 💌

→ It's widely known that Otis harbours some unconventional interests. In the small town of Ruggsville, the Firefly family's prominence, especially their ties to local celebrity Captain Spaulding, is undeniable. In this backwater community, everyone has their own shades of darkness when it comes to entertainment or survival, so you don't bat an eyelash at the rumours circulating about the family.

 → Otis charms you with his quick wit and sharp tongue, an aura of danger enveloping him and lingering in his presence. He frequents the local watering hole where you work, spending quiet summer evenings regaling you with stories of travelling the country with his younger sister, moving from one stolen car to the next. When you ask why he returned to the dead-end town, he nonchalantly declares that family is the most important thing to him. And then, with a mischievous grin, he casually mentions his involvement in a Satanic cult. 

→ Otis thinks that perhaps what draws him to you is your refusal to flinch at his unsavoury stories or the sly smirk you offer when he alludes to the sweet taste of your skin. He enjoys the recoil from others, welcomes it even because it's what he's known since he was a child and means he's got the upper hand. You give him pause, a dangerous thing indeed. In you, he sees a kindred spirit equally disillusioned with societal norms, and he wonders how long it will take to break you. 

→ With every aspect seemingly covered, there's no obvious place for you in his life. Yet, thoughts of you intrude on his mind during the day, distracting him from his tasks. The persistent idea that you might offer something different to his routine gradually consumes him, eroding all other thoughts until only you remain. 

→ His carnal needs are met by the bottom feeders he keeps around for a quick release. Sometimes, when their pleading becomes bothersome and he wants the peace and quiet, he will end it fast because it's easier when they're cold. He pulls them into his cot and curls into them until they have festered and rotten to the point that Tiny has to dispose of them. If it's a willing body he seeks, a trip to the whorehouse suffices. 

→ It's a few months before you meet the family. Otis doesn't need to tell you the importance of the moment, you can sense it in his tense demeanour, permeating the lounge as Mama parades you around the room like a prize pig at the county fair. You sense his eyes upon you, observing your reactions to each member, particularly noting your response to Tiny's imposing presence and your handling of Grandpa's vulgarity. In his mind, he rationalizes that you'll need a strong stomach if you are going to be with him. 

→ You are under no illusion that you're not the only person from whom Otis seeks comfort. He isn't shy about the fact that he needs more than what you can give him, says as much when he insists on you leaving him be for a few days to exorcise his darker urges. He doesn't approach the subject of you joining him sometimes until he is certain that you won't spring like a scared rabbit. When he finally does ask, you accept with a morbid curiosity.

→ Otis certainly has his private indulgences, but he takes great pleasure in involving you in some of his less solitary activities. Whatever the pursuit may be, it often concludes with him inside of you, his teeth leaving raw marks on your skin as he draws out multiple orgasms from your pliable body.

→ In these moments, he alternates between showering you with praise and delivering sharp, cutting remarks, his rough fingers encircling your throat as he thrusts into you with relentless force, pushing you to the brink of ecstasy until you're cock drunk and screaming his name. He relishes in the intensity of the experience, breaking you down only to rebuild you according to his desires, sculpting you into his perfect masterpiece.

→ Over time, Otis's possessiveness and control puts an end to your employment, your independence dwindling in the face of your need to be with him and his need for your servitude. His affection is conditional upon your compliance and submission, and when you prove yourself to him is when you get your reward of a tender kiss to your nose, or being pulled into his lap for a warm embrace. His love is a privilege to be earned, and he is fast to take it away if he deems you unworthy of it.

→ Otis perceives you as an extension of himself, expecting you to conform to his desires and interests. He finds pleasure in your engagement with his world, he likes when you lounge on his stained mattress in nothing but his shirt listening to his musings on the complexities of human nature. He encourages you to challenge his viewpoints, igniting debates that fuel his passion.

→ However, you soon discover that venturing into this territory can be perilous. It often results in Otis's eyes blazing with fury, his hands trembling with conviction as he towers over you, unleashing a torrent of berating and belittling words until you find yourself on your knees before him. It's a volatile dance of intellectual stimulation intertwined with the raw intensity of his dominance.

→ It falls to you to navigate these moments, gently guide him back to a sense of equilibrium with a steady stream of apologies and affirmations, trail open mouthed kisses down his body until you feel him relax under your touch. Sometimes his tumultuous thoughts wouldn't waver and he'd either take his frustrations out on your cunt or push you away until you are begging at his door. For Otis, isolation becomes a test of your loyalty—will you stay, or run? 

→ And time and again, you choose to stay, receiving no verbal apology afterward because that is Otis' way. However, when he deems fit, he leaves small tokens on the bedside table for you to find in the morning—a small sculpture, a painting—his non-verbal way of acknowledging his feelings about his actions. You know better than to draw attention to these gestures. Instead, you offer a kiss to his lips as a silent acknowledgment of his effort to make amends. His response is typically playful yet affectionate, a light smack on your behind accompanied by an eye roll, never one to dwell on sentimentality.

→ Overall, Otis is content with you, would dare say happy. You fit into his life with ease, don't give him much grief when you're not busy bitching a song about nothing. However, the devil makes work for idle hands, and there's still work to be done in fully acclimating you to his ways. He does love watching you break.

[terukotime]

You say you don’t like the killer reveal, why? I actually think dev made some great choices and I’d love to talk to you about your perspective.

i don't want to get too deep into it because, like i mentioned in my previous post, i don't want my criticism to come off as negativity towards the series or discourage anyone involved in the production of the show because it's honestly not a huge deal. like, it in no way ruins the show or makes it less enjoyable for me. and i don't think the choice of who the culprit is is a bad one at all, i'm mostly unsatisfied with the way the chapter handles it.

[spoilers beneath the cut, obvi lol. and please remember this is just my opinion. me having and expressing my opinion is not hate towards the series. i'm nervous enough as it is posting just this and not a bigger essay on all my thoughts because i really don't want to have this be misconstrued, nor do i want any criticism i have to give, regardless of how innocent and respectful my intentions, to make drdtdev or anyone who works on the series feel bad.]

i think Ace being the killer DOES make sense. i have no qualms with him being the blackened, in theory. do i think he could've made for a great survivor, or have really interesting growth throughout the coming chapters? yeah! i would have loved for Ace to be kept around for much longer. but him being the killer this chapter isn’t inherently bad. it's now clear that there's a specific direction Ace's character was meant to go in this story and i think that's fine.

my problem is with what *didn't* happen with Ace's character up to this point.

the chapter hasn't concluded yet so there's still a chance for my thoughts to change, though i don't think it'll make much of a difference. but i'm still waiting to see if it can stick the landing. and even if it doesn't, that's okay. i've already accepted it, i'm just still disappointed by it all the same.

Ace, honestly, hasn't played much of an active role in the story. he's been a source of conflict and comedic relief, and that's okay, not every character has to be as important as Xander or David...but he hasn't really gotten to *do* anything. this series is very character-driven, and thus is very focused on the relationships between other characters. Ace has only had one notable relationship (outside of his feud with Nico, but i'm not really including that as a "relationship" for obvious reasons), and that was with Levi. and that didn't even stay positive for very long. and we also know now that Levi didn't even care about him to begin with because he doesn't care about people in general.

not only did Ace never really get to establish any other relationships, no one ever LIKED him. of course a good portion of the fandom likes him, but in the actual story, no one cares about him. no one will miss him. his death is honestly kind of meaningless character-wise. does it serve as a lesson to some of the other characters? sure. but he's going to be dying here with no one ever liking or caring about him.

Min's story wasn't just a cautionary tale. people did like her, people did care about her. she was friends with a lot of characters, she got to have an impact in the daily lives of others. we got to know her better, the things she liked, her deeper thoughts and opinions on things. she got to do stuff, and we got to learn about her. her death meant more to the characters beyond just being the first culprit. she died as a person, not just as a character.

most of the stuff we know about Ace is surface level or things confirmed in Q&As. he doesn't get to contribute much aside from the aforementioned conflict/comedic relief. i understand where the show is going with that idea, and why him not being liked by anyone is a specific part of what led him to murder, but that's not really what irks me. it's that Ace never got to really be a *person.* he's essentially a plot device, serving the greater "good person" theme going on this chapter, and filling in the smaller roles in the story when needed, like an antagonist in a scene or delivering a gag. yes, his admittance to killing Arei and eventual post-trial trauma dump will give him a bit more humanity and character...but that's not really enough.

we only get to see Ace how the other members of the cast see Ace: his loud, combative, aggressive side. the side that makes people think he's nothing more than an angry meathead who can't do anything right. we never got to see much of his other sides, of a much more somber, melancholic Ace. receiving even a hint of the Ace we see in his confession of guilt beforehand would have given him the depth we needed before this point.

to explain what i mean: imagine how unsatisfying it would have been if we never got to actually see Arei's breakdown in the playground. if Teruko had left before it happened, and we only get to learn what happened from a flashback from David's perspective. we already feel the weight and tragedy of Arei's death when her body is discovered because we knew beforehand why she behaved the way she did, how she never even liked being the way she is, and wishing she could be a good person like Eden. if we didn't get to see that happen beforehand, Arei's death would feel very flat and detached. her character growth would've happened entirely retroactively.

that's how i feel with Ace. it's not like he didn’t get enough spotlight this chapter, he certainly did. but every scene he was in really didn't really add anything new to him. the only thing that "progressed" with him was his hatred and paranoia. we just see him descend with no uplifting moments, no emotional hook to make us feel anything for him. the closest we get is the scene where he's arguing with Nico and Veronika at lunch, ranting about how poorly everyone thinks of him and that they all assume that he's for some reason happy to be the way he is. but it's really the barest of scrapes towards the deeper layers of his character.

a big problem is that there were a lot of chances for his character to actively be *explored*, but instead, the narrative perspective of him stays completely stagnant. the time we get with him this chapter doesn't give him any greater focus. and sure, you could say that that might be a big giveaway to him being the culprit, but i think if the time between character spotlight is distributed evenly, that would be easily circumvented. there was a lot more time that could've been spent building Ace's character beyond his animosity and self-loathing tendencies. we could have had someone actually attempting to bond with him, even if it doesn't turn out well. even if all the characters distrust each other to varying degrees, there's still a lot of characters that like each other or have unique bonds with each other that make them stand out and feel worth remembering, because those bonds contribute something to their characters. but with Ace? he truly gets the short end of the stick, because this isn't just the characters neglecting him, it's the story itself. if Ace got to have a moment like Arei, maybe someone to confide in, even if he wasn't really friends with them or liked them at all, him being vulnerable just once and having a moment with someone else would have rooted him in more as a person who fell victim to what the killing game wanted from him and not just a fictional character fulfilling the purpose required of them in the story.

honestly, it's a bit of a slap in the face, the way the show goes about it. because in hindsight, Ace's whole character is *meant* to be wasted potential. after all, his related phrase on Mai's bio page is "a girl who had a bright future".

he was set up to have the potential to change, the potential to add more to the story, the potential to show us more than what we were given. and i think the show kind of knows that and specifically perpetuates that. the scene where Teruko tells Levi to give up on trying to apologize to Ace almost reads as the show itself telling you to give up on Ace. that, why should we care about him? he's not going to amount to what we want from him. there's no use in investing our feelings in him.

whether or not any of that actually was intentionally doesn't matter, unfortunately, because rewatching so many scenes having this new context really makes it all seem like Despair Time doesn't want you to care about Ace. that Ace is meant to be a waste, that that's the core of his character. him being the epitome of wasted potential could have been great, actually, if they chose to use even a slight bit of that potential to build him up more before his inevitable demise. instead we watch him eat shit throughout the entire show thus far only for him to get royally fucked at the very end in the worst way possible. Ace's theme of wasted potential is only wasted potential because nothing is ever done with him. not actively, anyways. whatever his post-trial confessional is like won't really give us what we needed from the start. Ace didn't just deserve better in his life. he deserves better as a fictional character. he deserved to be a person and not *just* a character. he deserved to have deeper, emotional character moments outside of the trial, long before his murder confession and rapidly approaching demise. he deserved to be 3-dimensional.

again, this is all just my personal opinion, and there's still a chance the show can stick the landing and make Ace as the culprit feel a lot more natural and deserved. i'm not really confident in that happening, but drdt is full of surprises as well as a lot of great writing. that being said, even though i believe they kinda fumbled the bag with Ace here, i don't hate this turn of events. although he's a big favorite of mine, i still wanted Eden to be innocent over him, because she's also a great character and her killing Arei would not only be pretty huge character assassination, but would also make Arei's death meaningless. and i also think there were other characters who could have been better candidates as the chapter 2 killer (not just Hu, i think Levi, Arturo, and maybe even J also could've made for compelling culprits with the right reasons).

i'm content with this. i'm heartbroken he's going so early and i wish the execution of his guilt had been a lot better, but overall it's not terrible. he just deserved so much more in many different ways.

[johns-prince]

John was prone to extremes in thinking, feeling, and doing. Either you did or you didn't. Yes or no. You're with him on it 110% or you're out.

Paul wasn't, still isn't. I've always got the impression Paul is much more willing to compromise, especially if it meant he'd be getting his cake and eating it too. Which... Might be it's own extreme.

This isn't to say this is strict; Paul could be stubborn and uncompromising, and John could be much more willing and easy in making truces, if it still benefitted him. Two sides of the same coin, push and pull. There's always nuance.

I only think, Paul's much more particular about believing he can have what he wants, what he needs, without having to make any major compromise. As long as he can have his cake and eat it too.

This is part of what I think put an extra strain between him and John.

I've always believed John is the exception to Paul's sexuality. Paul does love women, he's only ever shown explicit attraction towards women. The only noticeable, explicit exception to this has been John.

What John means to Paul, and vice versa, has always been complex and indefinable. Their relationship is a spectrum of best friends, partners/collaborators, brothers, lovers, rivals, allies, husband and wife, divorcees, widowers, etc etc and the whole thing goes around and around. Subconsciously and consciously.

I think Paul was attracted to John, personally and physically. John was a force, and he came from a higher class, and he was very intelligent and very talented, despite being very lazy and quick to becoming bored. Paul seems to have a fondness for recalling John's hands, how he stood when playing, his nose.

Paul likened creating music to that of sex and orgies, though if done with the right person. John was that person. He'd been that person for Paul since he was a teenager, and for ten years, and then a haunting muse and inspiration years after.

Whether they were ever sexually intimate together, honestly, we'll never really know. There's very interesting, eye-brow raising, side-eyeing moments and interactions between them that suggests something happened (looking at you India)

What I do know is that Paul and John were a very, very strong partnership. Their chemistry was obvious, watching them work together was always fascinating to outsiders. Attached at the hip, Siamese twins. They did in fact love and care for each other.

To what extent this love went, maybe or maybe not the physical realm, but it surpassed the normal bounds of platonic and familial.

I just think, it would've been kind of delusional of Paul to think, he could have John, his soulmate, collaborator, and best friend, making music and other artistic ventures together; and, get to have his wife, along with kids, too.

Not when these two would describe their relationship akin to marriage, girlfriends and boyfriends, fiances, their creating music like an act of sex.

Why it worked with John having a wife, Cynthia, is because in all honestly, she wasn't a threat. She didn't threaten the Beatles, and she really didn't threaten Paul's relationship with John.

Why it wasn't working with Linda, and why it most certainly didn't work with Yoko, is because both women posed a threat to, maybe not exactly the Beatles as a band as they did to the relationship that was Lennon-McCartney. They were serious, the real deal, because they were much more involved (intentionally or not)

Linda could provide to Paul what he, apparently, couldn't get from John, their partnership.

Yoko was willing to give to John what he yearned for, that Cynthia apparently couldn't give, and that Paul might've refused to give, or in John's mind, rejected him.

But you have Paul wanting both his cake and to eat it too and you know what, I'd probably be frustrated too, if I was John, and if John really did hold deeper feelings for his partner and closest friend.

No one is owed anyone's feelings of affection, but I have to speculate how exactly it went, between Paul and John, when the whole group was coming up to crossroads and what decisions made there would determine what happened next.

Paul picking Linda, marrying her, probably felt like an affront to John, by how he acted and behaved. The fear of no longer being the Most Important Person in Paul's Life. Paul didn't love him like John wanted him too.

But Paul did, of course, he was heartbreakingly obvious of how he felt towards John during Get Back, and his attitude towards Yoko.

Paul probably found it very rational that he could have his wife (sexual partner) and have John (his... Pseudo sexual partner? Creative partner) and it'd be just fine and dandy. But that's only true if their relationship was a normal one to begin with, if their friendship was a rationally reasonable one.

John was always possessive over Paul, whether it be with new friends (Tara Browne) or all his little girlfriends. He never liked them, John and Jane were known for disliking each other outright. John wanted to do everything with Paul, like LSD. John didn't share his people, he just didn't.

He chose Paul, made the conscious decision to do so, and up until the end, he believed Paul chose him too.

Paul did, he very much did, but I think maybe he overestimated just how dependent John was of him, and just how insecure he was in the love that Paul had for him.

Though perhaps the same could be said about Paul, because once John made it obvious that Yoko was now his everything, his New Creative ""Soulmate'', Paul nearly broke in half. Can no longer rationalize the "have my cake and eat it too" as John was not willing to compartmentalize his relationships and feelings to two different people, like Paul was. That's just not him.

So Paul got none of him.

And I know this post is dragging on but, one more, super interesting thought.

John had a sexual attraction to both men and women. Okay. It's not like he couldn't just, go get his kicks with another man, if Paul wasn't biting, wasn't giving.

But their relationship was not that simple. Sexual intimacy was probably not all John wanted from Paul, if my theorizing is correct in the slightest. It was either the last step or last leap of them becoming everything to each other. John did put those he loved through tests of patient, loving resilience. Why wouldn't this be one? Not even just the sex but just, giving everything to each other knowingly, and without guards and blinders.

John made the conscious decision to love, and obsess, over Paul. He makes these decisions, just like he did with Yoko. He didn't have too. Paul really isn't the only beautiful, talented man in this world.

But to John, he was. No one compared, I guess. No one could replace Paul. That's love. Not just, physical attraction and the idea of satiating a curious sexual desire with your best friend.

On the other hand, Paul, in my opinion, really is set on women. John's just the exception, and he's always been his exception. Which is probably frightening to confront, at least back then, so I can't really blame him if he'd fumbled it with trying to compromise with whatever John might've wanted from him and their relationship. Or him even rejecting John, despite the fact.

What Linda said, "Paul is desperate to write with John... John is just desperate to write again." That sticks with me, because it's so THEM. It's what I've tried encapsulating in this post, which I've probably failed.

Paul and John could stand on their own two feet, outside of the Beatles, I'll agree. Very talented in their own rights.

But Paul wanted to write with John again, not just, some nobody. Desperate, he was desperate to be around John, and to bring back that (sexual) creative bond they once had. He's never been this deadset on another man he's worked with, he's never been desperate.

John wanted to write again. Thing is, John had made his choice, picking Yoko over Paul (for various reasons) just like he could, and did, pick her as his new wife/sexual partner, over Paul (in spite of Paul) but he couldn't ever let go of Paul. Clearly, from what we know, he never stopped thinking about Paul. It's known he wasn't getting from Yoko what he had gotten with Paul, though, in terms of creative partnership... And even general.

I believe he missed it just as bad as Paul did. He missed them.

Linda saw it, knew it, could probably feel it the few times Paul and John did get together. What Paul may have told her, revealed his true feelings about the band, about John, to her.

I can't really fault Paul or John from the course in life they chose, not really. I don't think either of them knew how to deal with what was going on between them, twin flames, soulmates. They dealt with it in different ways, two different extremes, which was part of why it all ended so bitterly and tragically like lovers falling out.

Paul couldn't have his cake and eat it too, not here. John couldn't get Paul fully, completely, totally, and because of that, Paul couldn't have any of John.

[itsjustelian]

BEEFLEAF THOUGHT (Mainly He Xuan thought but fuck it he's intertwined with Shi Qingxuan and therefore all He Xuan thoughts are beefleaf thoughts)

So so so, in my readings of tgcf and the wonderful mess that is all of the internet thoughts on it I've come to the personal conclusion that to become a supreme you have to have *big* feelings. Very big and very deep feelings.

Our big-brained, obvious example of this is Hua Cheng. Man's big feeling is devotion, love. He is absolutely besotted for Xie Lian. Would do anything for his God. We're so proud of him for it too.

But He Xuan? He's the only other real supreme we have aside from Hua Cheng (Jun Wu, I'm sorry, you're wonderful but Godhood fucks with a man) and the idea that his big feeling that turned him into a supreme was rage and hatred never sat quite right with me. It's not that hatred and rage aren't powerful enough emotions to make a supreme, and those being his emotions on the surface make him a wonderful parallel to Hua Cheng. But rage isn't really what fuels him. If it was, he'd have dissipated after the Blackwater arc. Taken his revenge and called it a day.

Yet, he sticks around. He *never* dissipates. He just sits at the bottom of the ocean for all eternity. Which doesn't sound like rage or hatred. I mean, you'd assume a calamity built on hate would continue his revenge path until all of heaven is gone and no one can have godhood because he couldn't. But he doesn't. He just... waits.

This isn't to say he wasn't angry, btw. He was absolutely angry, and he had every right to be. His desire for revenge had to come from somewhere, let alone the emotional payment to actually planning and pulling it off. I just don't think that was his greatest regret/feeling/desire at death. I mean, He Xuan had his whole life taken from him. All of it. His family, his fiancee, his passions, his work. Everything he worked towards and for got stolen from him by others. And while it's clearly very rage inducing for him (I mean he has a mental breakdown and kills everyone who's ever wronged him), the underlying feeling through it all was probably despair. He probably just wanted things to go back to how they were when his whole family was around and alive.

And this despair and longing doesn't just go away when he learns the truth of what's been done to him. He's still a person. He can't just throw away those emotions because new ones have taken center stage. But rage is a way easier feeling to work with than misery, so He Xuan defers to it. He jumps on the bandwagon of revenge against the people who wronged him once again and goes with it. And it gets him through Mt. Tonglu and up into heaven and right where he says he wants to be. Right up until he can execute his revenge. And then he just stops? And decides that he's going to be best friends with Shi Qingxuan for a few hundred years first? I'm no rage expert, but that doesn't sound very revenge like to me. Which leads very neatly into the point of this post, took me a while I know.

He Xuan's reason for sticking around is he wants to be loved.

I mean, look at it. He says he hates Shi Qingxuan's guts and wants him and his brother dead more than anything, but also spends hundreds of years hanging out with this person he hates so much when revenge is right there? He could have done it whenever. There was no logical reason I could wait to wait as long as he did. Unless he was enjoying Shi Qingxuan's companionship. And Shi Qingxuan clearly loved him (even just platonically. We love our friends in this house). And He Xuan hadn't had someone care about him that much since his death. It was probably insanely overwhelming and equally as wonderful.

And then he fucks it all by actually going through with the revenge but feelings are hard and he's clearly not great with them so oops. But but but, his great famous line during the Blackwater Arc is him telling Shi Qingxuan that they've used the wrong name. He, even if it's just subconsciously, wants Shi Qingxuan to see him as He Xuan, not Ming Yi. He, in some capacity, wants Shi Qingxuan to see and love He Xuan, not the mask he had on.

But then, after the revenge, he doesn't disappear. He straight up goes out of his way to return Shi Qingxuan's fan to them. To make something right. To return something to how it was before.

Except this time, he can't blame the people around him for the change. He can't turn his rage at the rest of the world because he's the one who ruined the only thing he wanted for himself. So he finally, *finally*, has to face this sadness and longing that's been plaguing him from the start. He got his revenge, he got all the anger out, and it still wasn't what he wanted. Because from the beginning, all he wanted was to be appreciated and loved and wanted and not have that torn away from him.

And he fucked it for himself in the end because lets be honest if he had a civil fucking conversation with Shi Qingxuan and didn't literally threaten their brothers life things would have gone SO MUCH BETTER.

Anyway, I'm crying now. If you read through my jumbled 2 AM thoughts all the way, thank you. I will edit this when it's not 3 am. and post it.

---

Editing me: wtf was I on? I don't remember half of these thoughts??? I'm posting it because somewhere in this hot mess is a point I'm trying to make, and I'm not going to deny 2 AM Elian the chance to share it.

[mysticsublimeperson]

I've been hunted by one little all consuming idea.

Basically I want the knights exposed to BAMF spy! Merlin, I was thinking something like this..

The knights are spying on someone on enemy territory. They are following this person across the border and being seen there could cause a war, but the thing they need from this person is very time sensitive, so they go, surprisingly without any major trouble; mostly because Merlin's been assuring a safe passage n the dark.

The thing is this person finds an inn, and they can't be sure of they're way because in a inn you can ask for a ride, or trade the very thing they are after, they are unsure that this person knows it's value so...

"It'll be easy..." Arthur assured while taking of his gauntlet "We'll take off the armor and pass for merchants or something" explained as he indicated Merlin to take of the rest of armor.

Merlin couldn't contain the snort that escaped him.

All of them looked at him.

"Sorry, sorry..."

"You have something to say Merlin?"

"It's just... I mean not offense sires, but you are way too posh for that to work, even your normal clothes is way to fine, not matter how much dirt you cover yourself with" explained takin another part of the armor.

"Aren't you forgetting something Merlin?" said Elyan amused.

"Yeah.. alright, not all of you come from nobility, but... well, let's say that he perks of being a knight change people enough" he tried not to be offensive, but the fact is that after being trained as knight all of them had a change in demeanor, the walked differently, they looked at the people with a superiority that only power gave. Even if it's the power to do good and protect, they had that kind of authority. "Believe me, if you walk in there and claim to be anything other than a knight, we'll be discovered, people in this kinds of places know how to detect threats" He explained helping Elyan after loosening Lancelot's armor.

"Then what do you suggest?" Asked Leon softly.

"Maybe we can twist a bit the truth... Gwaine is already a drunkard" Gwaine laughed at that "And all of you can be yourself, before being a knight, just not together" thought outloud, he could hear some agreement "And Arthur and Leon could be knights on a quest, just not say that you are Camelot's knights" offered looking at Leon.

They spoke about the details of their background stories and arranged their accommodation. They would enter at different times, and from different paths. Most of them could fake no having any kind of relationship with each other, but some, Merlin knew, would not be able, so they planned around it. In the end they would take four rooms, one for Leon and Arthur, one for Percival and Lancelot, one for Elyan, and one for Gwaine.

"And what about you?" Lancelot asked worried.

"It doesn't make sense for me to have enough coin for a room" he said like it was obvious. But he could see the surprise in every face surrounding him.

"You'll come with us then" othered Arthur.

"That won't make sense with the story..."

"Us then.." said Percival, surprising Merlin, before he could deny.

"No, I won't work, come with me Merlin" offered Elyan.

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin is my best friend, he surely can come with me without arising suspicions" laughed Gwaine.

Merlin was a bit chocked up with surprise, he hoped his face wasn't too red, but he couldn't help it. It was rare that the knights showed this kind of affection towards him.

"Thank you for the offers" he said sincerely "but I think you are not understanding, all of you will be interpreted as thread, maybe Gwaine could pass but he won't be discreet, all of you attract a terrible amount of attention and someone who is trying to smuggle something won't want that... just trust me" even this he could see protest in their eyes they agreed.

Merlin entered last, all of them already had been accommodated at the inn. Once alone, he could let loose, the rain was just a nice touch.

He entered the inn drenched, and purposely tripped at the entrance. He approached the owner and begged for a simple job to pay the stay, he looked at him and offered a cot under the stairs for serving the tables.

Now he had the attention, everyone knew him as a bumbling idiot, desperate for cain and roof, most of them view Merlin as an easy target, and that was the point.

He served awkwardly and tripped a bit more, the owner threatened to make him sleep with the horses but that secured his image.

"Are you ok?" Lancelot asked when Merlin brought his drink, if it was another Merlin would be in risk of being discovered. "You're still wet"

"It's fine, it's not different from the usual" that turned his expression into a frown.

"Surely that..."

"BOY!" called the owner.

"Yeah! Coming"

The person the comes to the room and sits themselves in a far table, Merlin knows that they are aware of him so he put his plan. He crashes softy, almost making a mess, and thanks them profoundly, he picks up something valuable looking from the floor and give it back, earning the look of someone too naive, and the he blushes ashamed when they comment on his situation. He spills some bullshit on how his master left him on the road for packing the wrong coat, making himself pitiful. Then he would sputter an apology for speaking out of turn, and would go. Now that the bait was set it was just a matter of time.

Usually this kinds of people would try to smuggle shit using someone else, so if they get caught, they'll just put the blame in the other person. It was smuggler 101.

He was kind of losing hope until a bully on a table he purposely took the other wrong decided that Merlin was good enough punching bag. The punch to the gut let him without air for a full minute, he felt himself gaping like a fish out of the water. He had prepared himself for the punch, but had to make it believable, now he looked weak, which solidified the character. He could hear voices, but he was a bit unfocused.

"Hey, friend, are you ok?" it took everything in him not to smile victorious, it worked.

Basically this person invites Merlin to their room and tries to convince Merlin to travel with them. And at dawn they go, Merlin, with some help from the magic, gets them confused enough to turn back to the borders where the knights are waiting and arrest them properly.

Then they are all terribly silent, because there's so much to unpack here.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

New look [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 800

Summary: directly based on "The internet is forever" (5x22), when Reid's wonderful but short-lived boyband cut appears for the first time

Most of you were sitting in the conference room when JJ got ready to present the case. That particular night you had slept very little and to perform at work you thought it necessary to prepare yourself a coffee Spencer-style, who, by the way, had not yet deigned to appear at the bureau's offices.

“This is Dorris Archer, she's the third woman to go missing in Boise, Idaho, this year, along with Paula Renmar and Samantha Rush” the blonde began to say, under the attention of the entire team “They went missing roughly 2 months apart …” suddenly she cut off her words and her gaze traveled behind you. Out of inertia you turned your head and your breath caught a bit when you looked at who it was.

Of course you were glad to see your friend finally show up, but you honestly hadn't expected to see him like this. 

"Well, hello," JJ sneered, grinning in astonishment and approval at the man's new look.

Spencer took a seat in the chair next to you and all eyes fell on him, especially yours and Hotch's, albeit for very different reasons. You had gotten used to seeing his hair falling over his shoulders, even a couple of times you had come to help the man hold it with one of your scrunchies, but to be honest, the cut at that moment suited him much better than it should. It made him look cute and at the same time so… sexy? Yeah, maybe that was the word.

Although you wanted to say something, the words didn’t leave your lips and your boss was the first to speak:

"What, did you join a boy band?" he, miraculously, joked. 

"No," Reid replied, genuinely confused, and that was reason enough for all of you, without exception, to start laughing. When he heard your laughter, he looked in your direction and smiled kindly in greeting, to which you responded with a friendly squeeze on his arm.

Emily mumbled something to follow up on the case, but even against your will your mind was occupied with a completely different matter; being more specific on a certain person right next to you. You kept blatantly staring at him for a long time and when he felt that attention you saw him turn his head towards you, an obvious sparkle of concern in his eyes. Out of respect for the unit, he didn't say anything to you, but as soon as JJ finished presenting the case and you both got up from the table, he walked over to you.

"What's going on?"

"What's going on about what?”

“You were staring at me a long time ago,” he pointed out, but it wasn't like you were hiding it “Do I look that terrible?”

When you realized the confusion that had been generated, you couldn't contain a laugh and that only increased your friend's nervousness. You two were the only ones left in the conference room, so no one would be able to hear what you had to say.

“Just the opposite, Spence. I was looking at you because I think you look very handsome” you confessed, smiling kindly at him from where you were, and one moment you saw him turn red up to his ears, because he probably didn't expect that kind of response.

"Are you serious?" he asked you timidly.

"Very seriously" you approached him to extend your hands up to his head so you could run your fingers through the strands of his hair. When he understood your intentions, he crouched slightly and simply enjoyed the contact "Although I've already gotten used to your long hair, I admit that I like this one too. It looks messier, like you're more rebellious"

"I was a little undecided about the shape," he told you, making his usual hand movements "but when I started to cut it, I thought it would be the best option and at the end I was afraid I was making a mistake, because I had never had it like that before"

“Did you cut it yourself?” you half squealed, looking at him in complete disbelief, and he nodded with a small smile “Handsome, smart, kind and now you're a barber. You're quite a jack of all trades, huh, Reid?"

"Enough, don't say those things" he laughed, turning all shy and silly at your flattery.

"Looks like I'll have to keep you away from the girls" you concluded playfully, while you winked at him and took your bag to get out of there "See you there, don't be late"

Spencer just chuckled to himself and watched you go, still internally debating whether he should take your shameless flirtations as a joke or if you really meant it. Whatever the case, he was grateful to have made that impulsive decision solely for the pleasure of hearing his little (not that much, really) crush call him handsome.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove

[carabas]

Hey. Why does Lucanis's storyline end like that. Why would you start a storyline with a conversation like this:

Lucanis: I've always thought that to live truly is to live fully. But even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me. Rook: Being grandson to the First Talon must come with a lot of baggage. Lucanis: And when I proved I could carry it, the expectations only grew.

And after he has repeatedly stated in Tevinter Nights that, though he certainly doesn't want to quit the Crows, he does not want to be First Talon and would not be suited to it:

"All that effort training and grooming us, and the old woman still won't step aside." Beneath the bitterness in Illario's tone was something rotten. "Your time will come," Lucanis assured him. "Will it?" Illario's piercing gaze met Lucanis's in the mirror. "People talk. You've always been her favorite." He'd heard the rumors. For all their secrets and intrigue, the Antivan Crows were a chatty bunch. "My talents lie elsewhere," Lucanis said, gesturing toward the arsenal around him. "You're the one with the silver tongue."

Tevinter Nights again:

Illario's gaze grew hard. "How long are you going to keep doing this?" "Doing what?" "Caterina's bidding." The wine turned in Lucanis's mouth. "Illario. Stop." "If I was in charge, you wouldn't have to do this anymore," he cajoled. "You could quit." Lucanis stared at his cousin. "I don't want to quit." Illario sat back. The distance between them suddenly felt much wider than a table. "Even if it kills you," Illario whispered. "Death is my calling," Lucanis stated, matter-of-fact. "Just as yours is to become First Talon." He smiled, hoping to ease the tension, but Illario's posture remained taut. "And if Caterina disagrees? If she thinks you're the better man for the job--" "I don't want it, Illario," Lucanis insisted. "But you wouldn't refuse." "It's impossible to refuse Caterina," Lucanis admitted reluctantly. "Only prolong her, until she sees reason." He knew it wasn't the answer Illario wanted, but it was the truth. And in their line of work, honesty was hard to come by.

...and then Caterina declares Lucanis First Talon and, that's, we're leaving it like that. That's where we're leaving it? We started this story with a statement that his life had never been his own and had been determined by Caterina, and we are ending the story with his life being determined by Caterina, that is what we are doing?

The final pivotal scene of this game is about a spirit being released from an unwanted role he had been twisted into! Solas was Wisdom before Mythal turned him into her weapon as the Dread Wolf, a role he had remained trapped in long after the person who imposed that duty upon him had died! Letting Solas persist in his perceived duty twists him into a monster who starts talking like Elgar'nan, the very thing he'd said he feared becoming! Finally releasing Solas from Mythal's service is the super happy best ending of this game! The obvious parallels are paralleling!

And yet this story ends with Lucanis in the role Caterina put on him as First Talon??

Bioware why would you write it like that, I just want to talk

[coffeecatcraze]

Hello. I like your Chaggie analysis posts and wanted to ask you if you could another analysis on the couple. In this case, a tumblr user, angeltheninth, said they saw an interview of the couple's VAs and one of the highlights include saying that "Chaggie is at the core of the show". I was wondering ig you could do an analysis on what that could mean in the future and how it applies even in season 1. Again, only if you want to, and if not, I totally understand.

Ohhh this was fun!! I took a while to think about it and get it written out for a few reasons (such as working on fanfics and tragically having to do adulting things), and I'm sure I didn't pin down all the little ideas circling my brain about this, but here are my current thoughts on the matter!

To kick off with the obvious, they're the ones who started this. Charlie had a dream, and Vaggie was the only one who believed in her; and even with how hard it's been, they've still been fighting to make the hotel work. And it DOES. They're the first people since Lucifer and Lilith to look at things and say "hm, that doesn't seem right, let's try this" instead of just going along with it. Lucifer and Lilith led everyone into a new era with their dream of freedom, and with the Sir Pentious being redeemed and ascending to Heaven even after Sera said it as impossible, a new era looks to be exactly where Charlie and Vaggie are heading with their dream of protection. Yes, protection, because Charlie's goal to redeem demons comes from a desire to save their lives, not for the sake of making them better people. Protection has been a MASSIVE theme this season, expressed in song, dialogue, and action; and Charlie and Vaggie are the ones who kickstarted it in the first place.

And as far as "redemption" goes, using "redemption" as a term to encompass personal growth, Vaggie was the first person Charlie ever redeemed. She found her badly injured and took her in, helping a complete stranger out of the goodness of her heart; and Vaggie, a former participant in annual genocide, threw her whole self into Charlie's dream of redeeming Sinners to save Hell. Vaggie's redemption didn't come in the form of active encouagement towards it as a goal, but just as a result of being around Charlie. Charlie redeemed her without even trying. Vaggie was her first redemption story and she didn't even realize it until Rosie pointed it out. In other words, Vaggie was always walking proof that Charlie could redeem people who did horrible things. She never wanted to get back to Heaven; she was after redemption for her own sake, and for Charlie.

Choosing redemption for redemption's sake is the core of it all. Pentious wasn't trying to get into Heaven when he sacrificed himself; Angel had no way of knowing Charlie could see what he was doing at that club, so he very easily could have fallen back into old habits and called it a cheat day. But because they were genuinely becoming redeemed thanks to Charlie and Vaggie's efforts, they made selfless choices. Vaggie's redemption was real, and now these other souls Charlie took in are following in her footsteps. In other words, Vaggie was the original redemption story, and if she could become a better person even with all that blood on her hands, she knew other people could too; she supported Charlie's dream because she knew it worked, and she stayed by her side no matter how hard things got for them. Their relationship is what set the first ever real redemption into motion; they're at the core of redemption itself.

Themes of protection and love are also INCREDIBLY important in this show, and I'm not gonna cite my assorted Chaggie posts like a bibliography, but I feel like I've talked quite a bit about them being loving and protective. Their relationship is steady and stable, and there's an implicit understanding between them that comes from years of being together. They have rough spots but they get through them. They love and protect each other fiercely. Angel, Husk, Pentious, and Niffty have been learning to love and protect as well. How could they not, when they have such a great example to follow? If not for Charlie and Vaggie being such a united front, things would have turned out much less favorably for everyone.

Working together is what gets them through the hard times; they can't do this on their own. Look at what happened when they were off on their own missions in 1x07! Charlie was struggling until Rosie helped her sort through her conflicted feelings and realize that even though she was hurt, she still loved Vaggie and knew Vaggie believed in her; Vaggie was absolutely getting her ass kicked until Carmilla reminded her what (or more specifically who) her reason for fighting was, at which point she held her own, regrew her fucking wings, and impressed one of Hell's top Overlords. They succeeded because even with things so tense, they knew they had each other and they weren't alone. And isn't everyone supporting each other what that hotel is ultimtely all about? It's basically rehab, and for that, a strong support system really pays off. Their relationship essentially embodies the concepts that guide the hotel.

I know that's a lot more overall analysis than specifics about the future or season 1, but I feel like there are some implications in there, and it's hard to lay them out more explicitly in a frame of temporal reference. (Thanks for running out on me with no refills, ADHD meds, that's sooo helpful for getting coherent thoughts together...) They are indeed, in so many ways, the core of both the Hazbin Hotel and the show itself. I'm flattered you like my analysis posts enough to ask me about this, and I hope it was a satisfactory answer!!!

[todorokistheories]

Rei's Abuse Saved Shouto

This sounds batshit fucking crazy but hear me out.

tw: abuse, domestic violence, child abuse, everything that comes with talking about the todorokis

I've been thinking about this a lot.

Touya exists as a cautionary tale for "the abused becomes the abuser" (something I don't really believe in all that much but horikoshi has done some weird shit with the todorokis so we're going with it) in the sense that he never truly learned empathy and/or denounced it for the sake of his revenge. Everything was for him, always about him, and that was his life until he suddenly faced the trauma of realizing he wasn't a masterpiece in his father's eyes. That's a horrible life for a child, it obviously broke him. He was praised an applauded until he wasn't, believed to be cast aside and thrown away.

This obviously had a HUGE impact on him (literally his reason for everything). The fact that he attacked Shouto, a tiny little baby, only further proves my point that Touya never actually learned how to think outside of himself. He never needed to, and he wasn't shown how to. He was stuck perpetually searching for value that was given to someone else. He still cared for people, but as a child he wasn't given the chance to learn how to empathize.

Empathy is taught, it's not an innate skill. It can be cultivated over time or initial empathy can be smothered, but it is something you work on whether consciously or subconsciously.

Fast forward to Shouto who, yes was also heavily abused, but additionally witnessed the abuse of the only person at the time who was allowed to show him kindness. Touya grew up with his dad loving him, Shouto did not. Touya was told that he, as a person, was special. Shouto was not.

We see throughout the series that watching his mother be abused fundamentally changed the way Shouto saw everything. When his mother disfigures him he immediately blames his father and wants her back. He knows what it's like to be Endeavor's punching bag in a world where you have no support and no way to escape.

He wanted to protect his mom before he even understood what was happening. She was all he had, and all he needed was for her to be able to be there for him. Endeavor never let that happen.

In juxtaposition to this, Touya redirected his anger towards Fuyumi and Natsuo. This is interesting because in the series, Natsuo does a similar thing with Shouto but that could be an entire analysis in and of itself. Touya blamed Rei wholeheartedly because Endeavor was still perfect in his eyes.

Everyone was enough and he just somehow didn't cut it.

Flash forward into his time in the League and it's obvious that he wasn't given the opportunity to change his thinking. It's uncertain throughout the series and that is the biggest unfinished thread in my opinion when it comes to Touya's character.

His willingness to kill, regardless of former or current relation and his obvious joy in enacting pain and suffering is just a hallmark of low empathy. It's why Shouto's character is so intriguing as a foil, because he SHOULD hate Endeavor he SHOULD want him dead. But what Shouto wants more than anything is to be the hero that could've saved his mom. She has been a central part of his development, present or not.

This is in no way saying that Rei's abuse was the only thing that could've saved Shouto from following in Touya's footsteps, but it's the only thing from the series itself that explains it.