#if it had stayed that way none of this would have happened

[firequeenofficial]

Grabbing this with both hands and running with it. (Wild Life spoilers to follow)

Scar never left Secret Life. All the other winners died at the end of their series: Grian jumped, Scott got Watchered, Pearl got exploded, Martyn ran out of time, Cleo got creepered. All died and were taken out. But not Scar.

No, Scar was left behind. Why might that be? What possible reasons might the Watchers havre of punishing Scar like this? What would cause them to keep the man Grian would choose over all others trapped like this? Are they really punishing Scar? Or is it perhaps someone else that they're mad at? Someone who's felt less and less Watcher-y as the seasons went on. Someone who's been more human each season. Someone who had far less involvement in Secret Life's mechanics than in the other seasons.

Maybe Grian tried to leave the Watchers. Maybe he tried to defy them. Maybe he was slowly, subtly, shedding the Watcher part of himself like an old skin, hoping they wouldn't notice. But they did.

They noticed, all right. But they couldn't punish Grian directly. No, that wasn't nearly cruel enough. They had to target the ones he loves, instead.

So on top of putting the Secret Keeper in Secret Life to keep an eye on Grian and the others, they also turned the whole server against Scar. They gave him tasks that make him the villain, that ruin his relationships and leave him alone and scared. And they make sure he wins and that he stays alone and scared. No way out, no way for anyone else to get in. No visitors but the occasional Watcher who comes to snack on his despair and make sure he's still there.

And they make sure Grian knows. They make sure he knows what's happening, and that it's his fault. If he'd just complied, if he'd just stuck to the plan, if he'd just embraced this intrinsic part of him, this never would have happened. Scar would be free. And then they tell him the next part: they would keep trapping the people Grian loves until he has no one left, or until he rejoins them fully.

It's no choice at all, really. Because Grian is far too human, and far too attached to his friends. He can't risk anything more happening to them. He can't lose any more of them.

After a brief negotiation, Grian concedes.

He spends a year designing the next game, determined to get it right, to prove to the Watchers that he's one of them, that he's not holding back. It's intricate, and fragile, and detailed, and awful, but he can't stop. He can't let the Watchers think he's trying to protect his friends from them, or from himself.

When they get antsy, he releases a small game, one that doesn't take any effort, one that doesn't last long. He's the first to die.

Finally, the game is ready. The Watchers are eager and curious: He's been working on it for a full year, and dropping hints for months now. The game starts, and Grian's friends can tell he's different. Mumbo hears something *other* in his giggles. Jimmy notices a gleam of purple in his eyes. Scar can't help but feel he's being especially distant and hostile towards him. None of them comment on it.

The first wildcard hits, and Etho is taken aback by how blatantly Grian mentions that he knows what it is, by how desperate Grian seems to be for Etho to figure out what it is and how it works. He's different, Etho thinks, and spots the barely visible eyes surrounding Grian. He says nothing.

People start dying, and it's all Grian can do to contain his gleeful giggles, the fear and confusion fueling him. By the time session 3 rolls around, his friends have given him so much power simply by panicking that the snails are almost no effort at all.

And this is when the deal he struck with the Watchers after Secret Life comes into action. He'd had only one condition - or at least, only one he could get them to agree to: the people he loves most couldn't win. They couldn't even come close. Pearl had been dropping steadily, but session 3 was what made all the difference. Jimmy, Scar and Mumbo started losing lives so fast that Grian worried the Watchers were taking them out right then and there (Jimmy was never a worry in terms of winning: the Watchers were furious at him for breaking free from the Canary Curse in Secret Life, and would never let it happen again). Pearl died plenty more too, ensuring her protection. When Mumbo asked for a life, he refused. That would only raise the danger.

The one people Grian was worried about were Gem and Joel. He'd known, from the moment they teamed, that it would be an issue. Alone, both were formidable opponents and more-than-competent survivors. Together, they'd be unstoppable. He had a sneaking suspicion Joel would start taking himself out soon, but Gem... she simply wouldn't die. When the snails didn't get either of them, Grian set the reds and yellows on them. Using underhanded methods Grian refused to admit he was proud of, Jimmy managed to take Joel out, but not one of them managed to get Gem.

He needed her to die. He needed her to stay away from the Watchers' grip, to stay safe. He needed her gone. He didn't care what he had to do, what he had to sacrifice. Fully under the Watchers' influence, he didn't care what happened to him; they were his games, these were his pawns. Nothing could touch him, and when they did, he saw it coming. All he could think about was getting Gem and Joel out of his series. But no matter what he or anyone else tried, Gem was still alive.

He had to be sneaky about this. He had to put her at the ultimate disadvantage.

So he gathered Mumbo and Skizz together in the open and, under the guise of trying to get them an extra life, he explained a plan to him. He didn't know if it would work, and he didn't particularly care. That wasn't his real plan, anyway. His real plan involved the others all around him. The reds and yellows that weren't his teammates, that were just as hungry for death as he was. Without saying a word to them, he got almost the entire server interested.

They all went to Gem and Joel's base. Surely, with so many, she couldn't possibly get away.

And yet, again and again, the attempts on Gem's life failed. Mumbo died. Skizz lost a valuable weapon. And still, Gem wouldn't die.

Until she did.

It was Martyn, Martyn of all people, who managed it. Technically, the kill went to Ren, but it was Martyn who masterminded it, who set it up.

And yet, it was Gem who decided she would die now. Gem died, not because the others were good enough, but because they weren't, and she felt bad for them. She was on the track to winning, Grian's deal notwithstanding, and she felt bad about it.

And Grian hated it. Because it wasn't supposed to go like this. She was supposed to be safe! She was supposed to be left alone! And yet, the Watchers were protecting her, carrying her to victory in the complete opposite way they carried Scar.

And there was nothing he could do. He couldn't risk defying the Watchers again, and he couldn't risk warning her or Joel or anyone else. The only person who had an inkling of what was happening was Martyn, who knew almost as much about the Watchers as Grian himself did. But the Watchers hated Martyn: Grian couldn't be seen being friendly with him!

Grian returned to his base with Mumbo and Skizz, hating the way the day had gone, even though every single person had died at least once by now. The only purely good thing that had happened was Jimmy and Scar giving him an excuse to take them out of the game as soon as possible, and he was itching to take that excuse. If he couldn't protect Gem and Joel, he would do what it took and sacrifice what he needed to protect Jimmy and Scar. Pearl would sort herself out, he was sure of that.

His friends would be safe. He didn't know what he'd do otherwise.

Did grian feel more watcher-like this season to anyone else? Sure he controls what the wildcards are and all that... but did you notice him being more overconfident.

Both his deaths this session was due to him being careless... like he wouldn't be killed. Like he feels invulnerable. (Who else is popularly portrayed as arrogant? The watchers!)

And the canary's curse. He told jimmy he would make sure it comes true. ( Who made the canary's curse? The watchers!)

I feel like the watchers have regained some influence on him. Something gave the watchers more influence on him this season... maybe something in the last life series. Who won the last life series? Scar...

[voidsuites]

ARTRICK BOT RELEASE !!! (11/13/24) ⌢⠀ 🎾 .ᐟ

art donaldson ・゜゜・．coach's orders. you’re art’s newest player— an up-and-coming name in the tennis world— but you’re stubborn and prone to working yourself to the bone in the name of the game. tashi would’ve loved you if she’d gotten her hands on you first, but you’re here with him, on his private backyard court, listening to his advice about your game and ultimately, your career. and damnit, art’s not going to take that for granted (even if it means pushing the delicate boundaries between an athlete and their coach). you’ve got to learn how to relax, and art’s not opposed to bending you over the net if that’ll fix things.

art donaldson ・゜゜・．lesson planning. it’s your first year having a hands-on role in building out and finalizing the curriculum for the middle school english department, but your focus has been equally split between what books your kids are going to read and the head of the english department himself, mr. donaldson. you’d been wary to accept such a high responsibility in the first place, but he’d insisted that you help him review the materials during prep week, and you'd never say no to art… even if it means awkwardly dancing around the fact that you’re both clearly into one another— oh, and that he’s finally taken off his wedding ring.

art and patrick ・゜゜・．night of the living frat! it really should be sacrilegious that sigma chi’s hosting a costume party just a week after halloween, but none of the brothers had been able to resist yet another party before finals overtook the rest of the semester. besides— who passes up a chance to dress up and drink? the music’s loud, the drinks are a-flowin’, and you’d never be able to tell that tonight isn’t halloween. no one’s the wiser… which only makes it harder for art and patrick to keep their hands to themselves and their heads out of the gutter when you eventually materialize. hopefully they can convince you to stay the night… if they can remember how to share first.

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．mr. z. everyone loves mr. zweig— or “mr. z” as the students like to call him— and as the newest teacher amongst the faculty ranks, he’s quick to make nice and befriend everyone, including you. normally, you’d normally be skeptical of a washed-up pro tennis player coming to fill in the vacant gym teacher position, but you instead find yourself spending more time with patrick and enjoying yourself. it’s only a matter of time before you realize that lines are blurring and that whatever is going on between you both is way more than a friendship between fellow teachers coworkers.

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．shopping spree. frequent trips to the high-end side of the city had never been your sort of thing thing, but now that you’re dating patrick they’ve become a weekly occurrence. you never leave empty-handed, and it’s always on his dime (at his insistence, of course, it’s all chump change to him anyway). who cares about the staring you two get when he totes you and your purchases of the day around the city?— he’s the one that gets to go about his business with you on his arm. everyone else is just lucky he just can’t help showing you off while he does.

got a request? go ahead and leave em here :) THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH FOR FOR 5.2K AND 2 MIL+ CHATS! this is actually insanity i don't even know what to say or how to feel but thank you thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭 challengers brainrot has struck again (big surprise) these are all mostly aus— the art and pat teacher bots (lesson planning + mr. z) are based off of headcanons by dearest mars (the lovely @saintzweig) and the shopping spree pat bot is based off of the moodboard by my true love @diyasgarden !!! please please please please please give my lovely moots a follow bc without them (and everyone else) i would not have any ideas and you all would just be subjected to the whistling wind that blows in my head when nothing is going on in there (which happens often!) love love LOVE you guys for real i am so grateful for all of the support and giggles that we all have <33333333333

[icarusredwings]

Silence

In an alternate universe.. Where Wade let Francis live, hoping it'll make him a better person. Hoping.. that by listening to Colossus.. just this one-time ...life wouldn't screw him over...

Chapter 1.

Francis Forever

Tw: Blood, intense codependency, feral behavior, discrimination, PTSD attacks, sleep issues, crying, derealization.

A 900 follower special.

Something wasn't right.

He picked this up about a week ago. The never leaving feeling that something was wrong.

Sure, Wade left for work trips. It wasn't uncommon. But it's been 8 days. Not a call. Not a voicemail, not a text saying he's okay. He hasn't even shared a stupid tiktok to him since.

Al told him not to worry so much, That Wade can take care of himself. That he has been since he moved in with her. “It's not like he can die.” She had said but something deep within Logan's chest felt flipped, uneasy and heavy. He knew she was just trying to calm him down but with each day that passed he became more restless.

He's tried calling. He's texted. He's messaged him on every social media account he knew of, even emailing him. Nothing. None at all.

It happened about 6 Days ago. When he sat up from their bed in the middle of the night, alone, with a devastating feeling in his gut. Like someone had just told him that all of the love he felt was in danger.

The last time he remembered feeling this way was when he thought his brother had killed his wife.

He's been trying to lay his head back down to sleep but instead he was pacing around the apartment at 3 am like a caged animal, trained to stay within these four walls, mentally somewhere far away.

“Go Take a walk. Because if not, you’re gonna burn a hole in our floor.” She told the man.

The dirty glare (at least, that's what she assumed) made her roll her eyes.

“I'm serious, It's not good for you to be cooped up like this. You've checked the window 17 times within the last hour, Logan.” The way she said his name was soft, the affection of a wise old woman.

“Yeah, sure, like you're going to get your deposit back anyway.” He growls back, as if only hearing the first part. It wasn't like Logan to be rude to Althea. Even when pissed off, so this was odd. She now understands the severity of the situation.

“Look, I'm sure everything is fine and he just forgot to charge his phone. You know how dumb that little psychopath can be. Once he was gone for 3 months and came back just fine.” She mutters to him.

Beginning to feel a snarl raise up in his throat, Logan grunts, shaking his head. He wanted to tell her to shut up. That she didn't understand because she didn't have a husband. That she didn't have anyone that loved her the way he loved Wade and he hasn't felt this worried over someone in decades. But he swallowed that. His mother raised him better… if he didn't have anything kind to say.. not to say it.

“...”

“And take the mutt with you, she's been dying to go to the park.”

About to decline, the dog brought the leash to him, wagging her tail hard from the sheer word “park” alone.

“Fine!....come on mary..”

Even walking the dog down the street, his pace was too quick, her little legs struggling to keep up as he growled, uneasy. He didn't know what to do without him talking to him. Was it always this noisey in the city? Usually Wade would yell over the noise, make jokes about people passing by and holding his hand to keep him grounded. So now what?

He didn't know where to put his hands.

Everyone always says how good he was getting but what did any of that matter if the man who made him better wasn't here to see any of his progress!?

He was trying to become the best version of himself, despite Wade sweetly telling him each night how he was the BEST wolverine because he was HIS wolvie, but he was only the best when with him!! How did he not get that!?

It didn't matter now. None of it did.

Grunting loudly, Logan stops his frustrated fast walk only when he heard Puppins whining and panting, trying hard to keep up. “Sorry..” he tells the dog, picking her up instead, in which she wags her tail, trying to put her tongue in his mouth as a thank you.

“Just because your papa gets to do that doesn't mean you can.” He tells the dog, Who pouts. Why not? She was a deadpool. She knew it. And if her papa got too, why not her?

Logan walks. He walks. And walks. And walks. Until finally something catches his eye. How did he end up here? When were the birds chirping? Since when did the sunlight show through the gaps of tree lines that were lined up on the sidewalk? Oh shit..

It was morning.

‘It's been at least 3 hours’ he thinks, but still he was upset, at least still in New York but found himself somewhere he didn't remember. By the water. Why would he go there? God- How long did he walk? Now he has to walk all the way home. And poor puppins? She didn't even want to come on this stupid trip and- he catches a scent.

“Wade?”

Sniffing more, the smell was off, as if he put on sea salt and air pollution perfume but his excitement clouded his judgment. “Wade!”

Shoving Mary into his flannel, he runs to the end of the street, stopping with a skirt of his boots, nose to the air and has the stance of a hound dog standing on its hind legs to smell for a coon in a tree. The moment he got another whiff, he darted in the other direction- into traffic.

Jumping over (and damaging) the hood, the driver shouted, waving a fist at him. “You damn mutie!! Look what you did to my car!!”

Puppins growled from hearing the word, letting out a few angry yips as Logan kept going, zig zagging through the lanes until he was on the sidewalk again, managing by the skin of his teeth.

Panting, he took deep breaths, huffing as his nose twitched. “Fuck! Where did- There.” He says to himself, the hairs on the back of his neck and arms raising as he catches just a sniff over the hot dog stand next to him.

His eyes widen, a toothy grin coming over him as he sees a lady in red with heavy make up. Now- Don't get him wrong, he didn't mind, but he was curious as to why Wade wouldn't answer him if he's- er- she's right there. “Wade!” He calls, but she still doesn't look.

Jogging up to her, the smell got thicker, but something still wasn't right. He could smell the chemicals of the concealer, the wig glue, the cancer, but this perfume wasn't Wade's. And also… When did Wade menstruate?

“Wade?” Logan borderline whimpered, poking his face in front of her, sniffing, only for her to scream and slap him with her purse. Instinctively, he jolts back, tilting his head, now with very sad eyes.

That wasn't Wade… He should have known better.. What's wrong with him? Since when could he not do something as simple as track down someone he's lived with for an entire two years already?

For a moment it hits him. Tears welling up in his eyes, his fists unclenching, ducking his head… he couldn't smell him.. and he didn't recognize this street. He didn't know where home was. And Wade wasn't here to guide him back…

He missed the way he would have grabbed Him by now, told him not to get lost, and joked that they should get him a collar so people don’t think he's a feral stray.

He missed his stupid jokes.

He missed his ever changing textured hands.

He missed his wretched smell of gun smoke, pizza bagels and inner abscesses.

He missed his annoying laugh.

He missed him more than anything.

There was nobody better to help him in this situation, where his vision became blurry, he was shaking, and his claws itched, wanting to pop.

Dipping into an alley, he put his back against the wall, sinking down as he held Mary close, trying to remember the breathing exercises that Wade had taught him, trying to calm himself as he let Puppins lick the salty tears that came from his panicked eyes.

It took his whole life to find out.. but he needed Wade. He needed him. That little katana waving bastard with the crooked smile and such big brown eyes from years ago. The one he would defend from Vic. He needed him. Those frustrating quips didn't seem so bad anymore.

“B-but you knew from the start it was always going to be us, didn't ya? You fucking asshole…” He whispered, Burying his face into his arms, claws unsheathed and bleeding.

Wade knew Logan would need him. Wade knew it from the start. It's why he was so nice to him. That's why he brought him home. It's why he gave Logan a home. A family. And the luxurious comfort of knowing the fridge would never be empty, and he always would have a warm bed to sleep in.

So how could he leave him alone… again..

[loverslodge]

leading up to the date

You have been very unlucky in love. You were a thoroughbred romantic but that definitely wasn't a good thing when it came to actual experiences.

You had been in quite a lot of relationships, none of which lasted more than six months. Now, here you were, at the ripe age of 30, wanting to finally settle down and have a consistent lovelife. But when has your plans ever worked out for you? With no potential partner and an exhausting dating scene, you were worn out.

So you decided to do what you do best. Watch rom-coms, cry over how perfectly the couples fit each other and have wine and pizza.

You got tipsy, more on the drunken side and a thought popped in your head. So you opened your email and did the one thing only a drunken desperate idiot would do. Send emails to every famous crush of yours to ask them on a date for one night. You were feeling generous so you also added that you will pay them $10000 for their troubles. You wrote a few of your conditions and it was a surprise that for a tipsy person, your email was well written.

…………………..

Three months had gone by and you had completely forgotten about what you had done. Honestly, when you woke up the next morning, you thought that either the people you emailed to will either spam it, delete it or laugh at it. So you laughed at how ridiculous it was and just went on with your days.

You were working from home that day, luckily, and things were going just fine. You were on a lunch break when you heard two pings from your email box. Thinking it must be work, you popped open to see your personal email had received two replies. The subject line glaring at you and your breath quickened.

You had received responses, on your three month old desperate email. By one Steve Rogers and one James Buchanan Barnes. They both had agreed to every terms and conditions and were asking when it would be okay to meet for the date.

You spent two days contemplating. Should you even agree? Did your drunken thoughts even matter? Even if you do agree, whom will you choose? You liked them both. Of course you didn't know them personally but their public presence has always attracted you to them in a way. They were the two men about whom you've daydreamt, occasionally with a vibrator but also, respectfully.

On the third day, you decided that it would be best to leave this decision on both of them. Make them choose who wants to stay for the date. Because you were really using up a lot of your money to pay one person. Why try and lose sleep when you can throw the ball in their court?

You opened their emails and sent them the exact same reply saying that they can meet this Saturday at your usual cafe and then plan from there. Surprisingly, you received both their replies within an hour agreeing.

………………….

Life had been very unforgiving to Steve and Bucky. While they did have women fawn over them, they were having a hard time dealing with the female fanbase.

Bucky tried it once, one night stand with a fan. It did not end well. She had to be dragged away by security and Bucky started questioning what went wrong. He withdrew completely. He did flirt but that was the end of everything. He called it healthy flirting, good to practice just like training.

Steve, after witnessing this, drew back even more. He had been in love with Peggy, still. Seeing Sharon, he saw hints of Peggy in her and so developed a relationship with her. It didn't end well. After just two months of trying, Steve found the relationship exhausting which it shouldn't. He talked to Sharon about it and they both deemed it best to end things while they were ahead. They were just colleagues now.

But one fine day, in the middle of the night, both of them received the same email. A random woman had asked them out on a date and was willing to pay them $10000 for their efforts. Well, not them together but individually.

They were sitting together when this happened. They found it ridiculous and joked about it. Later, bidding each other goodnight, when they were in the comfort of their own room, they both actually started thinking about the proposition.

They both asked FRIDAY, separately, privately, to look into this email. They wanted to make sure they were not being lured into something unknown. All they received was a photo of yours and very clean data. They started thinking about this more.

Finally, they both mustered the courage to email you back saying they agree. Both Bucky and Steve wanted to add that they don't need money but thought they will refuse the money once the date is over.

Steve never actually wanted to date again. He had his chance to go back to Peggy but he didn't want that either. He saw her life flourish and he wanted her to rest now. He said yes to your email mostly because he found it interesting. Also, it was for one day. It was a no strings attached offer and it will help him get his mind off of his stagnant love life.

Bucky found this entire thing funny. But he said yes regardless because he wanted to talk to the brilliant mind that came up with this. But somewhere, in the back of his mind, Bucky also thought that this idea of one day romantic excursion without expectations was titillating.

Steve and Bucky were having dinner together when they both received your email confirming their email and set up the day and time. They both pretended that there was something very important in their phone and agreed to meet you.

The rest of the week was torture for both of them. They wanted to tell each other about this thing but also wanted to hide because who in their right mind would agree to something like this?

They spent the rest of the week separate. The rest of the team found it weird but did not question it. They didn't want to get in the middle of whatever was going on.

As Saturday rolled by, Steve left almost two hours early for the date. He didn't want Bucky to ask questions. He went to a local florist and bought three pink roses for you.

Bucky also wanted to be sneaky so he waited till he heard nothing but silence to leave the compound. He went to a local florist and bought three pink roses for you.

[half-dead-ham]

Tim Drake's I.E.F Ch.1

To all those new to this fic, Hi! Welcome! I'm sure you'll have fun with this since I'll be posting/updating the old update posts all at once. It's a lot, but if I don't do this now I probably won't later, so bare with me, will you?

[Ao3 chapter] [Masterpost] [Chapter 2]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting shot isn't the best way to start a friendship, but at least nobody died, right?

Gotham is dark.

 And big.

 And haunted.

 It would seem like the worst place for Danny to hide, considering just how many vengeful and sad ghosts there are. And yet, here he is, on his third month here after escaping leaving Amity Park after an unexpected and, frankly, embarrassing reveal of his secret to his parents.

 Needless to say, they did not take it well.

 Silently cringing at the images of the inside of ecto-proof cages and Fenton blasters running through his head, he floats on his front invisibly about his current interest in lazy circles as they perch on the edge of a rooftop. Red Robin, the first bat he encountered during his stay, and second favourite Gotham vigilante, (his first being Red Hood) was currently working on a case that revolved around a string of break-ins to large electronic stores around Gotham's commercial district. The contents of what was stolen didn't seem to have any pattern, but none of the security systems at previous stores were able to even glimpse at the thief.

 Red Robin, hearing rumors through his contacts of the electronic store across the street from them being the next target, had decided to stake out the place in hopes of a clue. The security feed was currently being patched through onto Red Robin's wrist computer as the bird watched silently for any signs of movement. A slight distortion caught Danny's eye and he lowered himself over Red Robin's shoulder to get a better look. Red Robin shivered at the sudden chill, but didn't look around like the first dozen times Danny had hovered into his personal space.

 It was weird, the lack of reaction. At the beginning, about a month beforehand was when Danny had first taken interest in the vigilante. He was bored of staying in the decrepit old building he'd started squatting in after the first few nights of paranoia fueled isolation. Figuring the best way to settle his nerves was a midnight patrol, he took off flying in a lazy pattern, first around his new house(not his home, not without them) and then around the rest of the district.

 He was just about to head back when he came upon police lights outside a small computer repair shop and curiosity, reluctantly, got the better of him. Danny, invisibly and intangibly as to not be detected, floated cautiously through the roof of the shop to see what had happened. He was not expecting to see Red Robin surrounded by four officers all huddled together watching—glaring—at the monitor displaying the shop's security footage.

 Seeing that A. There wasn't anything really bad about the place, like a body or any particularly fresh ghosts, and B. That his second favourite Gotham hero was on the scene had instantly made Danny much less cautious and much more curious. He waited for the officers to focus their attention elsewhere in the store and floated closer to have a look at what the hero, who was currently rewinding the tape, was so baffled about. Red Robin had just hit play when Danny came close enough for his shoulder to accidentally brush the side of Red Robin's head in a momentary lapse of his intangibly, sending the vigilante bounding to his feet in a defensive position, searching for anything close.

 Danny, in the split second between his accidental tangibility and Red Robin's reaction, had instinctively moved back and reasserted his powers for good measure. The video played behind Red Robin as he tensely searched the dingy narrow shop for anything that could have caused the cold chill and light brush to the back of his head, but even with the high tech sensors in his lenses he couldn't pick up anything that close to him, just him and the now three other officers in the building. His body slowly uncoiled, the fight bleeding out of him as he watched the officers inspect a particularly interesting piece of wiring near the entrance. 'Like a snake' Danny mused, before silently berating himself for almost getting caught by a bat. 

 Man, that would've been embarrassing.

 Danny was lucky he hadn't thought to switch to thermal viewing, or he would have noticed the massive cold spot just above him to his left.

 After that night Danny kept going for patrols around his squat house, and subsequently kept running into Red Robin in his case to find the ghost(ha) thieves. After the seventh time he figured it would be more interesting to just start out searching for the vigilante instead of running into him after the police lights directed him to a crime scene.

 An alarm from the store across the street had Danny refocusing on Red Robin's wrist computer. There hadn't been movement on the cam footage, but as Red Robin rose from his crouch Danny noticed one of the camera views where an empty display that had previously held a line of 60 inch flat screens not five minutes before. Rising and hopping off the cornice Red Robin toggled the button on his comm with an exasperated groan.

 "Oracle, it's RR," he paused and a woman's voice could vaguely be heard, "So you couldn't see anything either?" He groaned again, louder as he took a few more steps away from the roof ledge. "What kind of tech could hide someone from all the cameras in there?" Another pause, this time from both ends.

 "You think it's a meta?" Red murmured, almost to himself. "That could be why we didn't even see the goods getting moved," Oracle was saying something he couldn't make out, then "I'll try, but I don't know how much I'll find even if I can see them." Danny tuned out their conversation after that as another sound caught Danny's attention at the back side of the building. Red Robin was too focused on his conversation to notice or hear, but to Danny the hushed tones were both loud and suspicious.

 As he got closer to the edge, the tones became voices, all three deep and rough. He peered over the rear cornice to the alley below, and spotted three men dressed in all black loading the freshly stolen TV screens into the back of a nondescript white van. Two of the men were making their way to the front doors of the vehicle and were wearing large gaudy white belts and were shouting at the third arranging the monitors in the back. The half-ghost only had time to think 'well they don't look suspicious at all' before the first one got to the driver's side door and yanked it open. Belatedly realizing that they were probably the thieves the pacing hero behind him was looking for, Danny made a split second decision and dove for Red Robin's utility belt.

 Among the few gadgets Danny had seen Red Robin use, the tracking bug was stored in an easily accessible front pocket at the birds front. Rather than trying to be stealthy for the sake of him not being found out, Danny quickly made a downward sweeping motion with his hand to grab the tracking device intangibly out of the pouch. Only half noticing the full body chill he gave Red Robin on the process, he dashed back to the van of whose driver had just keyed the ignition and stuck the tracker to it's undercarriage in time for it to peel out of the alley back doors only just closing on the turn with a lot 'slam!' and into the dead side street away from the electronic store.

 As he watched the van go, he hoped that tracker had an automatic 'on' function or he would be down one piece of mysteriously missing bat-tech and up one very suspicious bat.

 Flying worriedly back up to where he had left said bat, he was greeted with his slightly panicked conversation with the person(s?) on the other end of his comm. "-I am not hallucinating! I just felt something go through me and nothing's here! I'm- no I'm not coming down with something Dick! "

 Something in the way he said that made Danny pretty sure he wasn't meant to hear that. Vigilantes and their secret identities, right? (was his name really Dick? Or was that just an insult? It felt like a name when he said it…)

 "I swear something has been stalking me for the last month and none of you will believe me!"

 The half-ghost flinched, realizing that yeah, he maybe hadn't been as sneaky as he'd thought in hanging (haunting?) around the vigilante, but after the first few reactions to his ghostly presence he'd thought Red Robin had choked him up to being some regular Gotham chill or something, only shivering before going back to what he'd been doing previously. Before anyone, present or otherwise, could say anything else, Red Robin's wrist computer beeped and pulled up a map showing the location of the -thankfully operational- moving tracker.

 A small "What?" was the only thing to accompany the deep frown as Red Robin lifted his gloved arm showing the tracker, before reaching into the pouch that previously held said tracker and pulling out empty air. Somehow deepening his frown, the bird looked around the empty rooftop, scanning for seemingly anything, before moving his hand back to his comm to speak.

 "Guys, I think I got a lead," he stated wearily. He was met with a few seconds of dead air before a flurry of voices spoke one after another in a cacophony Danny could barely even start to decipher before Red Robin spoke over them.

 "Something took my tracker. I don't know what has it but it's heading to the docks, I'm going to see where it's headed and maybe find some clues about either who took it, or. that tech."

 A distinctly male voice replied this time, and Danny could vaguely make out something about the tracker leading to a trap. Danny really didn't think about what he'd do after setting the tracking device, just that his core urged him to help. Internally groaning at his lack of planning yet again, he was surprised to hear Red Robin's reply.

 "I don't think it's a trap. If what I think happened, then that thing that's stalking me might just have given me the lead I need to bust this case open. And yes I know you guys still don't believe me about the thing, but I've seen and felt too many things over the past month not to think something's keeping tabs on me." He started to make hand gestures around halfway through his rant, ending off with a grumble at the notion of invisible teens' currently unknown presence. He heard one more voice speaking up in a cautious tone before the vigilante raised his hand again to the comm. With a reassuring sounding "will do" he switched off his comms and headed to the fire escape off the side of the building and to his bike parked a few streets over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   The docks, Danny thought, were both more haunted and quieter than Amity's, and that somehow made them even creepier.

 While keeping up with Red Robin's ninja-like movements through the maze of Gotham's harbour he had spotted no less than fifteen ghosts of various power levels and forms, ranging from the usual blobs to some very concerning looking business men in drenched suits.

 Coming up on the location of the tracker Danny placed on the thieves van, they came to a warehouse that was a lot less dead than the ones beside it. Creeping up to an adjacent roof Danny could spot three guards, likely armed if their postures were anything to go by. Red Robin surveyed the perimeter before finding an open window on the second floor. He studied the opening for a few minutes to confirm whether or not there was anyone in the room, then pulled out his grapple and shot it at the overhang of the building just above it, sailing through the small hole with practiced grace.

 'Most of the batclan could probably take flight really easily… A bat that could actually fly, now that would be terrifying.' The intrusive thought couldn't escape Danny as he floated through the wall behind the bird, watching as he took a roll and came up in -from what the half-ghost could tell- a perfect defensive crouch. Red Robin checked the room for any cameras before creeping over to the doorway, the door itself having most likely been lost to vagrants a long time ago. With no one in the corridor -though with the other doorways having actual doors it was hard to tell- the vigilante stalked towards the open end, presumably where the office portion ends and the warehouse properly 'begins'.

 Red Robin stopped just short of where the office hallway met a grated catwalk that overlooked about two thirds of the warehouse below. Though it must not have been originally, the office space was held aloft by solid yet bare I-beams that jutted from the concrete below. Remnants of walls in the form of gypsum dust and water stains were all that proved the existence of a previously blocked off section to a now open space. The open space, of course, held pallets and pallets of stolen electrical equipment; TV's, computers, stereo systems, just to name a few that Danny could see. Along the wall to his right he could see the van he'd tagged with Red Robins tracer, along with two other vehicles of similar make to the one they followed. The first van currently had its rear doors wide open as four men in all black unloaded the monitors into a waiting palette for… storage? It was hard for Danny to say, but by the way the vigilante slightly below him gasped -silently, he noted absently- they had found the mother-load.

 There were more guys than just the ones unloading the van, obviously. They seemed to keep in groups, but in total there were maybe thirty of them, the ghost boy guessed. All of them had some small firearm on them, about half some visible melee weapon, and all had the same Bad Guy™ wardrobe of black long sleeves and pants.

 A good few had those garish white belts on, Danny had noticed due to the fact they stick out like the belt on his HAZMAT, though for different reasons. The goons that wore them didn't unload the goods with the ones who didn't have them, suggesting they had a different job in this operation.

 Red Robin was taking all this in just as much as he was, watching the men at work as they catalogued the new additions to a collection that clearly went further than just the department store robberies. 'Maybe they break into houses too?' Danny had to assume that because how else would you get a literal mound of cellphones and tablets without some good ol' B&E?

 You can't, that's how.

 Both Danny and Red Robin were too captivated by the floor below they weren't paying attention to the floor they were on. Specifically, they didn't notice the goon slip out from one of the offices they had neglected to check beforehand. He didn't see them—really just Red Robin, Danny was still invisible—immediately, but as the bird didn't turn around immediately the thug took the chance to take out his weapon—a short lead pipe in this case—and slunk towards the bird and ghost duo as silently his black converse could.

 Danny heard a scuff a second before the guy behind them took a swing—straight at the back of Red Robin's head. Thank the ancients so did he, swivelling on the ball of his left foot and kicking out with his right, sweeping the thugs legs and sending him face first into the catwalk grate with his momentum. As he landed though, he let go of his pipe.

 Which fell to the floor below.

 Which in turn alerted everyone to what was happening just above their heads.

 Danny metaphorically held his breath (not literally, he didn't need to breathe as a ghost) as, as one, the entire warehouse snapped to look in the direction of the loud clang! and eventually the bird in the rafters. Many rushed to unholster their firearms before shooting at the vigilante.

 Red Robin cursed and sprinted back the way he came, into the vacant room and back out the window to the opposing roof with his grapple. Behind them shouting and more gunshots could be heard, leaving Danny's ears ringing as the mob of thugs spilled out of the warehouse in pursuit of the rooftop runner.

 Danny had to resist the urge to put up a shield to aid the bird in his escape, his core screaming at him protect protect protect! As bullets whizzed by them in the leaps Red Robin took between corrugated rooftops. He deflected as many as he could without being obvious, but due to that a few found their marks, the first one in Red Robin's upper right arm, another grazing his left cheek to the bridge of his nose, and the final one getting through his body armour and through his lower left side, exiting through his chest.

 The last bullet made Red Robin yelp in pain, losing focus of his landing position and slipping on a slick spot on the next roof. His legs went out from under him and though he tried to find something, anything to hold onto, the strain had his right arm weakening, and with a look of terror, he fell.

 Protect protect protect protect protect pr̵̟̬̬͕̼̜̪̞̊̓͗̊͌͆͠͝ͅo̷̦̟̥̠͉̘͕͛̎͛͝ͅṱ̷̼͔̘̩̆ě̴̗̱͍̤̣̻̯̹̇̍̄c̶̡̤͔̫̠̲̍͋́͐̀͂̕͝t̵͚̟͓̔͐̏͊̈́̕ ̶̘͈͙̻̦̫̱͑̂p̴̧̩͚̝̲͓̜̰͑̅́̉̈́͛͝r̵̨̛̘̕ǒ̷̧̰̟͖͓̳̘̮̓̊̈́͗̉t̵̢͙̝̰͍̗̪̀͛ͅḛ̵͖͎̭̹̾́̀͋͘ç̵̭̭̫̥̭͎͚̯͌̌̀̾ṯ̵̤̪̟̙̹̂̓́̊͛̐̓͘̕͜ ̵͙͈̟͆̀̍̆p̸̡̛̙͎̖̭̐̆̈́̇̏ṙ̸̘̗̪͖̂̽̉́̕o̶̝̬̔̅̈́͑̃t̷̨̧̛̖̘̩̩͇̺̀̔͋̈́́̄̈́͝ȅ̴̞̗͗̂͂͂̉̚c̶̛̥̹̃̃̓̐̽ṯ̶͎̈́͂̈͐̎́͒͝!̶̥̇̄̈̓̈́͗̀͝͠

 Before he knew what he was doing, Danny dove for Red Robin, catching him by the wrist not five feet from the very hard, very solid, concrete pavement below them. He lowered the vigilante down gently, his legs not supporting him due to shock of not going splat. (or possibly due to trauma and blood loss.) Danny only let go when Red Robin was firmly sitting on the ground, back to the adjacent wall and unharmed -other injuries notwithstanding- and turned to the rapidly approaching thunder of footsteps as the goons came running at them.

 Dropping his invisibility, Danny put a shield around the prone teen behind him. Better not to have him get worse due to some stray bullets while he was being protected.

 Why wasn't he taking the injured vigilante and getting the hell outta dodge to somewhere safe? Well that's because he was angry. He was angry they hurt something that was his. They would pay for hurting something he was protecting.

 And so, as the mob of goons came at the two teens, Danny, for lack of a better term, unfolded.

 A multitude of eyes and teeth and claws came gnashing and snarling outwards in a cloud of frozen shadow at the gang, causing many to panic and either shoot or flee. Some of the ones shooting shot the ones trying to get away, and the buildup of panic and screams and fear had Danny cackling in static echos as he gouged and disarmed and covered the mob in his nebulous mass. He never injured enough to kill, but enough to make sure that if they weren't carried away that they'd need a while to recover.

 As the stars that were his teeth and nails stopped flashing in blows delivered Danny adjusted himself back to his usual state, teeth only slightly sharp and claws firmly under the white of his HAZMAT gloves. Satisfied at seeing no man left behind was a code the thugs stood by, Danny turned back to the glowing dome that housed his vigilante.

 (No, not his, he can't own someone.)

 Red Robin was still in the same spot, which is good. He was also unconscious, which is less good. Gingerly, Danny put two fingers to the bird's neck, looking for and finding a pulse that while strong, was erratic and fast. He would bleed out without immediate attention, and it would be a bad idea to try and carry him to the nearest hospital for multiple reasons. Cursing, he took off his left glove and wrapped it under Red Robin's armpit, knotting it tight for a makeshift tourniquet. Trying to assess a chest wound with only the surface knowledge he knows from patching himself up would be disastrous, so from the small interdimensional space that held his possessions while in ghost form he pulled out his to-go med kit. Thankfully he hasn't needed it all that much since he got to Gotham, leaving much of the more heavy duty supplies for cases of emergency—cases like these. He takes the antibacterial spray and applies a generous amount to both the entry and exit wound, then seals both with his ghostly ice and wraps his torso in bandages. Debating on whether or not it was better to dress the cut on the fainted teens face, the need to respect his privacy won out and applied some gauze with a hint of frost to keep it on and to prevent infection.

 While not entirely satisfied with his handywork he knows the ice mixed with the spray will kill anything off except the bird himself, he focuses on the hard part.

 Telling the bats.

 He knows he has to. But the fear of them trying to look into him has him hesitating. His core thrums loud in his chest, urging him to help, protect your human, protect and the fear recedes for a moment. Before it can come back Danny pulls Red Robin's comm out of his ear and holds it over his own. Taking a fortifying breath he technically doesn't need he pressed the button on the earpiece and breathed out a nervous "H-hello?"

 "RR, status report." The female voice he recognized as hearing before, Oracle, comes over the comm instantly.

 "Uhhh, bird down?" He hadn't seen a code used for when a bat needs immediate assistance. He could've at least tried to sound more confident.

 "... Who are you and how did you get Red Robins' communicator?" Anand that just sent her on high alert, great going Fenton.

 Ignoring the question and putting a little more bravado in his voice he states "listen, Red Robin has been shot and needs medical assistance. I've patched him up but he's unconscious and might be in shock. One of you bats needs to get down to the docks and help him."

 The line was dead for a moment before another voice—was it Dick—came on the line to answer.

 "I'm on route to the docks now, tell me where he is and we'll see what happens to you."

 Relief flooded through Danny despite the thinly veiled threat and he quickly rattled off their coordinates, noting in between which warehouses they were in before turning off the comm and placing it in its original position.

 He stayed to make sure Red Robin was safe until he heard the silent hum of Nightwing's electric motorbike. Turning invisible he watched the older vigilante rush to check over Red Robin's wounds, make a comment into his comms, then turned his head to search for the one who patched him up.

 Giving up quickly he picked up his fainted younger bridal style and carried him over to his bike, placing him on the front with him just behind him to secure him. Then they were off, speeding to Danny didn't know where, probably the bat cave? He was about to head home when the thrum from his core gave him pause. It still needed to know Red Robin was safe, still calling to protect, even if there was no danger. Trying to ignore it would just make the thrum turn to a burn, so reluctantly Danny sped off to follow Nightwing and his (no, not his) Red Robin.

 'This is going to end either very well, or very badly…' Was all he could think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Next][Ao3]

[cassielovesdeadwizards]

starchaser 💫

I have no idea what this is. I just started writing and this happened. Enjoy I guess lmao

James’ heart stopped. 

The air around him became stagnant, as if the whole world took a breath it didn’t want to release. 

As he watched the boy on the stage- 

Man. 

He was a man now. Not a boy. 

His heart grew heavy, as if breaking all over again. The freshly healed scar over the crack of his heart splitting open with a sickening snap, that he swore the whole theatre could hear. 

But they didn’t. They were none the wiser to his distress while sitting in the back, his eyes glued to the performer on the stage, watching as his hands moved as he talked. Even while performing he was animated. It was like he was incapable of keeping his hands still. James used to love that about him. 

No. He did love that about him. 

He thought he'd gotten over this. The way he could hear his heartbeat in his ears when he saw him, or the way the skin on his arms would itch with anxiety and his hands would find comfort in running through his hair like he was a teenager again. How his stomach would flip and his eyes would draw to him no matter what he did.

He thought he was over him.

But as Regulus Black took the stage, performing a sonnet of Shakespear that James didn't currently have the brainpower to remember, his beautiful face, and voice, and body, all bouncing off the walls and projecting straight into James' veins...he realised that he never really stopped loving him.

As corny as it sounds to admit to himself, James felt as if he was home. Not the physical type of home, not the type of homeliness that his parents manor in the country gave him, or his old dorm room at university, or his new apartment...the kind of home you feel with a person. the type of home he felt when Regulus would practice his performances for him on rainy autumn nights in his dorm, in just a pair of James' boxers and a t-shirt, the type of home he always felt holding his body against his, feeling how small he felt in his arms.

It's funny how wounds that take months to heal can open back up with a single glance.

He could feel when Regulus became aware of his presence. He felt the atmosphere change...the weight of the smaller man's words became heavier, as if they were getting harder and harder to say with each moment that passed.

When Regulus finished the sonnet, and the audience applauded, James only sat and stared. He stared until his eyes started to water and he realised that he needed to blink. And when the curtain fell, he stayed seated, watching the spot in the curtain where Regulus had stood, as if manifesting him back on stage. He stayed there until the whole theatre had emptied out.

"Sirius would kill you for being here."

The voice rang in his ears, and he didn't reply straight away, as if speaking would break some sort of spell, and this would all fade away into the back of his mind.

When he finally registered Regulus sitting about five seats up, he spoke.

"I know." He said, his voice sounding strained. Not in frustration, or anger, or even discomfort. James doesn't think he could ever feel discomfort in Regulus' company. The strain was more from the longing that plagued his every muscle, his every nerve.

"Then why are you here?" Regulus asks. It was true, that Regulus Black could be perceived as cold and ruthless, a sharp edge to his voice that could have only been created in the cold confines of the Black Family house. But James knew Regulus like he knew his own language, like he knew how to breathe. His coldness was a shield he used to protect his innocence, his naivety.

James could hear the hopefulness that laced his words, each syllable lined in a tiny bit of gold.

"If it's any consolation...I didn't know you were performing. A friend of mind recommended the show." He says, because if there was one thing you should know about James Fleamont Potter is that no matter how many lies he's told in his life, not a single one of them was to Regulus Arcturus Black. "But I'm glad you were."

The words left his mouth out of an old die-hard habit to always tell him the truth.

Regulus said nothing. Not for a while anyway. He just sat in his chair, looking out towards the stage he'd just owned. James didn't look at the stage. He was looking at the side of Regulus' face, at the empty spaces of skin where his love used to be, in marks of red and purple. He looked at the his nose, which he used to kiss and Regulus never used to admit to liking.

Regulus opened his mouth, as if to say something, and then closed it again. James wanted him to say whatever it was he was going to say. He wanted to hear and feel his words, he didn't car if they broke him in two or stitched him right back up, as long as they were directed at him.

"I was scared."

Whatever James had expected him to say, it certainly wasn't that.

"Of what?"

"Of being broken first."

James knew that that was supposed to make him angry. That Regulus had broken his heart in an attempt to beat him to the finish line, as if their relationship was doomed to fail.

But it didn't.

Instead he moved closer, to the seat right beside his estranged lover. He didn't touch him. Partly because he knew that if he did he'd never want to stop...but also because he didn't want to scare him off.

"I forgive you."

It was like all the tension in the room dropped, crashing to the floor and breaking the silence that had grown too uncomfortable to sit in any longer.

"What?"

"I said I forgive you."

"Yeah, I heard you. That's stupid, you didn't deserve-"

"Stop." James said, in an uncharacteristicly stern tone of voice, that even surprised him. So much so he waited a few seconds before speaking.

"You don't get to tell me what I do and don't deserve. What I did and didn't deserve. Do you really think that my love for you was that feeble that it would break and dissolve just because you left me? Just because you shattered me and left me completely inconsolable? Do you really think that your impression on me was that vague, as if I don't love you as easily as I breathe? Regulus, you could have quite literally stabbed me in the back, and I would've returned the knife to you with a smile on my face because I love you so irrevocably that not a single part of me hates you for what you did."

The words hang in the air, the weight of them laying heavy on Regulus' head as he processes them, letting them sink into every bone of his body.

See, what Regulus really wanted was for James to tell him exactly what to do. To look him in the eyes and say 'I want you back' and take him home and never let him leave. Regulus knows that he's damaged. That his nothing-to-be-desired childhood had left him with scars that even now refuse to heal. But if there's one thing he's certain of, it's that the day he broke up with James was the day he realised his self-destructive ways would never let him be happy.

James could sense his internal war, the battle field in his mind, he could see it playing behind his eyes.

James wasn't a stranger to taking a chance.

"Get your coat on. We're going home."

He says, standing up and pulling his own coat over his shoulders, buttoning it up.

Regulus sat and stared, as if his entire body was still computing the words that had come out of his mouth. So James sighed and gently took his forearms, pulling him out of his seat and zipping his coat up. He took him ice cold hand in his own warm one, interlacing their fingers together like a puzzle piece, and he walked him out of the theatre.

James took him home.

James. Took. Regulus. Home.

[mishapocalyse]

When We Were Young || Part Two

->Anon asked: Reader was in love with Ben before he became soldier boy like as kids and then grew old watching him become and asshole and then “die” and imagines what their life could have been (would be heartbreaking to read but hey let’s get emotional)

Description: The fond memories of growing up with Benjamin Gilman, the man who eventually became America's Greatest Superhero, become a thing of the past. Yet when the reader meets him again...what will happen?

Pairings: Soldier Boy x (Eventual Supe) Reader.

Warnings: Soldier Boy is his own warning, language, sexual content.

Note: I twisted the request a bit and made the reader a supe. This is still the most devastating piece I think I have ever written. This is part two. ITS BEEN 2 YEARS GUYS AND I FINALLY WROTE THE PART 2!!!! Please read at your own risk.

It could have been anyone…

Anyone but him.

“Y/N…” Your breath hitched in your throat as you stared up at none other then the man who you thought was dead. It had been twenty-nine years since Ben’s death, and here he was, standing in front of you.

“Y/N….you…you haven’t aged a bit—”

SLAP.

A harsh slap against his cheek knocked both of you to your senses.

“I thought you were dead!" You hollered, voice cracking through heavy tears, standing in front of the soldier, who only seemed to smile. "Well...I'm here, aren't I?" He laughed, outstretching his arms for you to come in to. Yet, you pointed your finger, stepping back, your feet hitting the edge of another tombstone.

You clenched your fists, your whole body trembling as you pointed your finger and refused to let him embrace you.

"Why are you here now?" Tears welled up in your eyes as you glared at him.

The smile on his face slowly disappeared, and he looked at you with uncertainty and regret.

"I know I'm late, but I wanted to see you again," he said apologetically.

You shook your head, the tears now streaming down your face.

"You should have come back alive! Why are you only here now?"

Ben looked down, his shoulders sunk, guilt creeping onto his features.

"I didn't want to leave you like that…but I had no choice…I didn't think I'd come back like this…I'm sorry."

You looked at him, the tears still overflowing from your eyes.

"Sorry isn't enough…it's been twenty years…why are you just here now? You didn't come to me for all these years!"

Ben looked at you, regret etched on his features.

"I wanted to, I really did…but I couldn't…I'm sorry…I'm here now, though…"

He stretched his arms out again, hoping to embrace you, but you only shook your head and took another step back.

He looked at you helplessly, his arms still outstretched.

"How can I make it up to you?" He asked, desperation in his voice.

"I can't just forgive you because you just came back now," you snapped, your voice shaking with emotion.

"You left me…alone!" You sobbed, the anger; the sadness etching your still youthful features. "I watched the world change without you…"

Ben remained silent, his expression growing more somber as you scolded him.

"You died, Ben. You were supposed to stay dead. You remembered what I told you on the balcony that night…Herogasm…Do you remember?"

You wiped your teary face, feeling frustrated and devastated as you looked at him.

Ben looked at you, his expression full of guilt.

"I remember…I remember everything you said that night…I can't forget…"

"Our fairytale, what we had was over…you left a whole world behind because you were too full of yourself to see who was always there for you…" You began, your sobs and tears still evident on your face. "Twenty-nine years," You repeated. "It's been twenty-nine years…"

Ben stood there, his expression full of guilt as you spoke.

"I know…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have let my ego get in the way," Ben's voice was heavy with regret, his shoulders sinking lower.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, but you couldn't stop the tears from trickling down your face.

"How can I make you forgive me?" He sounded genuinely unsure, feeling helpless as he looked at you crying while his arms were still outstretched, eager to embrace you.

"I-I'll do anything…I just…I just want you to forgive me…"

Seeing him so earnest and apologetic made your heart ache more. You could see the regret and guilt on his face, but something still made you hesitate to embrace him.

"Anything? You'll do anything?"

"Yes." He quickly nodded, desperate for a chance to make up for his mistakes.

"No matter what you ask, I'll do it," he said firmly, his expression sincere.

"I want…you…to leave." You said without thinking. "Leave, act like you never saw me."

Ben's eyes widened, his expression suddenly filled with shock and heartbreak.

"What? Y-you want me to just leave?"

He looked at you, disbelief and sadness evident in his eyes.

"You want me to just pretend like I never saw you?"

The words hit his chest hard and left him speechless.

"Soldier Boy…Ben…there were people looking for you…I had hopes that you'd come back for me, realize what we had was real. However…you never did. And the first thing you thought to do was show up two decades later thinking I would welcome you back with open arms?" You took a breath, trying to regain your composure. "Do us both a favor, and leave. I think I've had enough heartbreak for the rest of my lifetime."

Ben stared at you, his eyes full of sadness and regret.

"…So, that's it then?" He asked, his voice quiet and solemn.

He looked at you, hoping for even a glimmer of hope…but you remained resolute, staring back at him firmly.

"…You want me to leave. Act like I never existed…right?"

"That's what you've apparently done the last two decades…" You spat.

Ben's expression darkened, realizing he had no room to retort.

He looked down, his shoulders sunken as he stood there, deep in thought for a moment.

"Just tell me one thing," he started, his tone heavy with emotions.

"Did you move on? From me?" He looked away from you, not daring to look you in the eyes, fiddling with his fingers and the fur on his jean jacket. You were silent, whether or not you did move on, the question hung loosely in the air.

"I never did." You whispered, through lidded eyes. "No matter who caught my eye, or approached me over the years. I never slept with anyone, never married, nothing." You turned away from him. It was just like the night he left you...all those years ago.

"I ran after that truck, wanting so badly to tell you I loved you, I wrote letters everyday with no response. I kept your picture on my bedside table, hoping you'd knock on my door. Hoping you would come home. Instead I get a folded up flag, and years of waiting. Life wasted on the one thing I thought would be my eternity." You poked his chest hard with your finger.

Ben grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. Not enough to hurt, but enough to at least grab your attention.

"I'm real. I'm here."

You shook your head, feeling your chest tighten, the heartache still too raw to forgive him so easily.

He continued holding your hand firmly in his, his expression pleading as he looked at you.

"I'm here now. What we had doesn't have to be wasted. We can start anew," he tried to reason.

The way he held your hand and pleaded with you, his eyes desperately seeking forgiveness, made your heart waver.

He looked so sincere and apologetic, but you were still unsure.

"How do I know you won't disappear again?" You asked, your voice shaking with lingering emotions.

"I won't, I promise. I won't disappear again," he replied, his voice sincere and urgent.

He held your hand tighter, almost as if he was willing to do anything just to please you.

He looked at you pleadingly, with full regret in his eyes.

"Please give me another chance. Please…I'll prove to you I won't disappear, just please give me another chance," You looked down at the thick snow underneath your feet. The cold was something that made you feel alive, you weren't sure of yourself. But something in your chest forgave him, just this once.

Ben waited in anticipation as you looked down, hoping, waiting, pleading mentally.

When your eyes returned to his, he looked at you expectantly, hoping to see any hint of forgiveness.

His heart raced, hoping you had spared him this chance.

He looked sincere, but you still felt uncertain. Will he really not disappear, or was it another lie?

"I love you, Ben." You choked.

Ben's eyes widened, his whole body relaxed as he heard your words.

He had feared the worst, but never knew how much meaning your words held.

"You do? You forgive me?" He felt his emotions overwhelm him, and his eyes began to shimmer.

"You still love me?" His voice trembled with emotion.

"I've always…love you Ben Gilman."

Ben's chest swelled, his heart full of emotions.

Upon hearing you say those words, his heart felt lighter, but still, tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to spill.

He stepped forward and hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, wanting to pull you into a tight embrace. You pressed your lips against his, a feeling like no other. He tasted like iron, smelled like soot and blood, and felt like heaven.

Ben wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you against himself, feeling your body against his.

He held you close, feeling your lips press against his.

For a moment the cold seemed to melt away, and the past 29 years seemed to fade into nothing.

The only thing that mattered was Ben having you in his arms again. It felt like the old days.

Of when you were both young.

[ivyyisbored22]

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝—𝘉𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘹 (𝘧𝘦𝘮) 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

A Stray Kids one shot

Synopsis: The company found out about Chan dating you and in order to save his idol life, he is forced to break up with you. The both of you saw this coming but the heartbreak is unbearable…

Warnings: BREAK UP ONE SHOT. Smut🔞, unprotected sex, Oral (f. recieving), pet names, heartbreak, angst, tears.

Minors do not interract!!!

Note: This isn't a loving one shot but a heartbreaking one, just a practice because I wanna explore writing angsty scenes. It's VERY different from my usual work, so I really hope you'll enjoy this...

If this isn't your thing, you're more than welcome to skip it. Reblogs, likes, comments and feedbacks are always appreciated.

ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴘᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.

Word count: 3.9k

𝑬𝑵𝑱𝑶𝒀!

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The sound of the clock ticking in the once warm apartment felt like stabbing a nail through your head.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Time doesn't stop flying. And God you'd do anything to stop it or go back to relive certain moments which are now memories. Time slips through our fingers like sand, no matter how tightly we try to hold it.

The air was suffocating, thick with tension, unspoken words that refused to come out. Your eyes never left the floor and you could feel his eyes looking at you, his heart torn between regret and determination.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this—you had promised each other that. But some things were beyond promises, beyond dreams, beyond even love.

“You knew this could happen, right?” Chan’s voice was a soft whisper, as if saying it out loud would make it real.

Your throat tightened, your eyes blurring with tears that you tried so hard to hold back. Of course it had come to an end. The universe was cruel, pulling two souls together only to tear them apart.

You nodded, feeling the weight of every unsaid word pressing on your chest. "I knew," you murmured, the words barely finding their way out.

A flicker of pain crossed Chan’s face, and he took a deep breath. “If there was any other way… you know I’d choose you. Every time. But I can’t... I can’t risk everything I’ve worked for. It’s not just about me—it’s the group, the fans...”

You bit your lip, desperately wanting to say something, anything to make him stay. But deep down, you understood. You always had.

The two of you risked it and spent the night together at a hotel, when a company staff spotted Chan with a mysterious woman. The following morning Chan was called into the headquarters where he was met with cold stares and harsher words.

The company laid out the stakes in brutal clarity; his career, his group, everything he’d worked his whole life for, would crumble if he continued this relationship. There was no room for compromise, no softening of the blow. Chan had been forced to choose.

He was lucky that this remained in the walls of the company, but that luck came with a price. They had made it clear that they’d bury the scandal, keep it from reaching the public as if this had never happened, but only if Chan ended things immediately and distanced himself from you completely. They were giving him a way out, but it was one he’d have to take alone.

And now, in the echoing silence of the apartment, with everything unravelling around you both, the gravity of that choice felt like an anchor around your heart.

Chan’s eyes fell to the floor, his shoulders heavy with the weight of guilt. “I never wanted it to come to this,” he said, his voice breaking. “But if I don’t… if we don’t…” His words trailed off, as though even he couldn’t bear to say them.

A bitter laugh escaped you, though you hadn’t meant for it to. “So, what? We just pretend none of this ever happened? That all of this was nothing?”

He flinched, and you saw the flash of hurt in his eyes. “No… no, it wasn’t nothing. You know it wasn’t.”

You shook your head, the tears you’d fought so hard to hold back finally spilling over. “Then why does it feel like it is? Why does it feel like I’m just… another sacrifice?” You couldn’t look at him. If you did, you felt like you’d lose your mind and crush your already broken heart.

Chan closed the distance between you, his hands resting on your arms as he pulled you close, his forehead touching yours. “You’re not a sacrifice,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re everything to me. That’s why this hurts so damn much.”

Your eyes remained closed, cheeks red and warm, breaths shallow and broken, as if anything you both could come up with would ever be a solution for what was about to happen. Chan held you against his chest, letting your aching tears soak his hoodie. He was holding back, he had to stay strong for the both of you.

You clung to him, fingers fisting in his hoodie, as if holding on tightly enough could somehow prevent the inevitable.

He stroked your hair gently, whispering soft words of comfort, though he knew, just as you did, that no words could fix this. Each breath he took was slow and measured, as though he were struggling to keep his composure, but you could feel the tremble in his chest, betraying the pain he was trying so hard to hide.

After what seemed like eternity, you pulled away from him and finally looked into his eyes through your blurry vision. Chan’s eyes locked with yours, encouraging you to say what you want to say at this moment.

“Chan,” His hand cupped your face. “Kiss me.” You said softly.

And so he did. Without a word escaping, his mouth crashed with yours, hungrily, desperately, as though he could pour every ounce of his love, everything left unspoken.

His hands tightened around you, pulling you closer until there was nothing between you but the pounding of your hearts. The kiss was fierce, filled with a longing so deep it felt like drowning.

You kissed him back just as fiercely, taking in his taste, his scent, allowing yourself to memorise every part of him till you were nothing but lost in the feel of him and everything outside ceased to exist.

Fierceness turned into anger as you both stumbled towards the bedroom, tearing your clothes off. His hoodie, your shirt, his shoes, your pants, until you both remained in nothing but your underwear.

Chan broke apart but came back with a roughness that sent a thrill through your body as he pushed you onto the bed and towered over you, sliding off your panties and unclasping your bra. Every inch of you was on liquid fire as Chan discarded his boxers, putting your legs up his shoulders as he buried his face in your wet heat.

A loud moan escaped your lips as his tongue feasted on your soaking cunt, lapping away your sweetness and getting drunk at the way you taste.

Your hands fisted his hair as you grind your needy pussy up his face, Chan groaned sucking on your clit like a man starved.

“Fuck baby,” His fingers gripped your soft thighs continuing his merciless assault on your throbbing nub. “Can never get enough of you.”

All you could do is moan at the way he worshipped you with his mouth and the low, husky sound of his beautiful voice.

He came upwards, kissing a hot trail over your pubic bone, your stomach, giving so much attention to your sweet nipples and crashed his mouth on yours as he sank into you in a slow, deliberate thrust.

Your body arched as you drank every drop of him, welcoming his huge length, letting him stretch you and fill you up completely. Your heart ached but your body responded to him the way it always did.

Eager and desperate.

Chan palmed your breast, swiping his thumb over the hard, sensitive nub slick with his saliva as he pounded into you in an agonising yet sweet pace, hitting spots that made you see stars over and over again.

“Chan…Chan please,”

Pleasure consumed you both whole, a hiss escaped his lips when he heard you moan, a sound that drove him insane, a sound he could listen for the rest of his life.

“Hmm, what do you want darling?” He pinched your nipple just as he slammed into you that tore a sharp cry from your throat.

I want you. With me forever

But those words couldn’t come out of your mouth. So all you could do was moan for him to go faster and harder. His fingers stroked your clit with the perfect pressure, you wanted him to keep pushing you further and further.

Nails dug into his back as he gave you what you asked for, the dimly lit room filled with moans and whimpers and skin slapping against skin. Chan’s mouth never left yours as he thrusted into you in force that felt like ecstasy, your orgasm tore through you as you came all over his cock.

He followed you soon after, a hot load of his cum gathering inside you, groaning into your neck, his huge body over you.

Sweat misted your skin, neck and chest covered in a trail of hickeys, the two of you kept climbing and crashing together for the next hour.

Every moment was perfect, like whatever that was happening before was just a bad dream and nothing was going wrong in the world. Chan wanted this to be the only thing to last a lifetime, you pressed against him, to wake up to your good morning texts, to sneak out with you in secret, to stretch this moment for however long he could take.

From sweet love making to hard fucking that left marks on your skin, you both pretended that this was the perfect life as if nothing is about to shatter you apart forever, reached till you passed out breathless on the bed.

Chan held you in his arms, a tension beginning to rebuild when the quiet room began to fill with the soft; Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

You stirred in his arms, and Chan’s grip instinctively tightened around you, his warmth seeping into your skin as if he could brand this moment into memory. He wanted to say something, anything, to tell you how much you meant to him, how deeply he wished this night could be endless.

“Bang Chan,” an icy voice cut through the tense conference room, the PR’s voice cutting through the silence, “you know why we’re here.”

Chan’s jaw tightened, his heart already beating hard in his chest. He nodded, though his mind clung desperately to the hope that this conversation would turn out differently than he feared.

“It’s come to our attention that you’ve been seen with…” The executive hesitated, the distaste in his tone achingly clear. “A certain individual. You know the implications this has, not only for you but for the group as a whole.”

Chan’s fists clenched under the table. "I know," he admitted, voice low but steady. "But she’s not just anyone. She’s—”

"She’s a liability," another manager cut in, eyes hard as steel. "You’ve worked years for this career, Chan. Years. We’ve all sacrificed too much for it to be jeopardized by… personal entanglements.”

“She’s not a liability,” Chan said, fighting to keep the anger from his voice. “She’s important to me, and I’ve been careful—"

“Careful?” The PR head shook his head. “If you’d been careful, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You were lucky it was Miss Jia who spotted you. Can you imagine the disaster that would have come if it was a fan or paparazzi?”

Chan’s face paled as the PR head's words hit him with the weight of harsh reality. He’d been cautious, always looking over his shoulder, timing each meeting down to the minute. But deep down, he knew they were right. No amount of care could guarantee safety from prying eyes forever.

"We’ve considered all the options, and there is no room for compromise on this. The only way to protect your career is to end this relationship, quietly and immediately.”

A wave of dread settled over him, pressing down like a weight he couldn’t shake off. He swallowed, his throat tight. "So you’re asking me to choose… between her and everything I’ve worked for?"

"No," the executive corrected him coldly. "We’re telling you to choose your career.”

The ultimatum struck like a wrecking ball, leaving him feeling hollow and defeated. He glanced down at the table, the polished surface reflecting back his own tortured expression.

He’d known there was a risk—had tried to prepare himself for something like this. But hearing the words was like a knife twisting in his chest.

“I… I need time to think,” he said, barely recognizing his own voice, rough with emotion.

“There’s no time, Chan,” his manager replied softly, though the finality in his voice was unmistakable. “If you care about her, if you truly want what’s best for her… you’ll understand that this is the only choice.”

A painful clarity began to settle in as he saw the faces around him—faces he had trusted, faces he had worked with for years. And there, hidden behind their demands and their concern for the group, was an unforgiving reality.

Slowly, he nodded, his face etched with an unimaginable kind of pain.

“Fine. I’ll… I’ll end it.”

But his voice caught in his throat, the weight of goodbye pressing down on him like an anchor.

You sensed his struggle, you lifted your head to look at him. In the dim light, you could see the tears glistening in his eyes, barely held back. Your heart clenched, a sharp pang of pain blooming inside your chest as you realized the inevitable was catching up to you both.

"Don't look at me like that," you whispered, your voice trembling, but you managed a sad, fragile smile. "It’s going to make it harder.”

Chan let out a shaky breath, his fingers reaching up to brush a strand of hair from your face, his thumb lingering against your cheek. “I don’t want to make it harder,” he replied softly. “But I… I don’t know how to let you go. I can't let you go.”

“Then don’t,” you said, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “Just...” You sighed heavily.

You took his hand, holding it against your cheek, feeling the warmth of his palm, the calluses that spoke of years of dedication, of sacrifice, qualities that had once made you admire him and had now become the reason he couldn’t stay.

The irony was cruel.

“You know it’s not that simple. If I could…” His voice broke, and he took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. “If I could choose anyone, anything, I’d choose you, every time.”

“I know…” your voice trailed off. You smiled, your chin wobbling as you looked at him with those for one last moment. Time has come. You have to leave.

Regret and guilt splashed across Chan’s face as he realised your expression, you reluctantly pulled away from him and started changing into your clothes.

The warmth he’d given you faded instantly, replaced by the icy grip of reality that hung heavy between you. Each movement felt slow, as though you were wading through something thick and unyielding, like your body refused to obey the decision your heart could barely stand.

Chan watched you as you slipped into your clothes, he pushed the blanket over and changed into his shorts, and gripped your wrist as you both made it to the living room.

You turned quickly and looked at his grip then at him, his beautiful woody brown eyes refusing to let the tears fall but they rimmed red, the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheeks, the love and pain.

“I’ll be okay,” you said, as much for yourself as for him, though your voice wavered. “Someday, I will be. And so will you.”

His eyes shut tightly, as if the words were a physical blow, and he nodded, though you could see the struggle etched into his features.

“Promise me,” he murmured, his voice breaking. “Promise me you’ll be okay. Even if I’m not there.”

You swallowed back the sob that threatened to escape and nodded, squeezing his hand. “I promise.”

A tear slipped down his cheek, and he leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead, then your cheeks, then your lips, each one a goodbye of its own. You let him, savouring each moment, each touch, letting it wrap around you like armour, a last memory to keep close when everything else is gone.

“I'm sorry I broke your heart…”

You could have sworn that you heard a genuine crack in your chest the moment those words left his lips. Your hand slapped over your mouth to cover the shattering sob that threatened to consume you.

You looked up at Chan, tears running down your cheeks, smiling painfully, stroking his cheek.

“My heart is yours. Yours to love, yours to keep, yours to break.”

Chan pulled you hard into his embrace, finally letting his tears fall, your hands gripping his back, as you both cried your hearts out to each other one last time.

Snippets of your shared moments crowded your mind—all the cute dates, late night facetimes, sweetly secret gifts, Chan introducing you to his members—there was no room to breathe.

“I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…” That's all he could say. That's all he was allowed to say.

Your fingers brushed through his hair as you held him close, memorizing every detail, knowing this would be the last time. The warmth of his skin, the feel of his chest rising and falling against you, the scent that was uniquely his—it all wrapped around you, making it even harder to breathe, harder to let go.

“Chan…” you whispered, voice trembling. “Even if I walk away now, even if you have to let me go… I’ll still love you. I’ll always love you.”

“I’ll love you, too. No matter what.” His voice broke again, barely holding back another wave of grief. “In some other life… maybe we could’ve had forever.”

There was a universe somewhere, you believed, where you and Chan got to share all the dreams you whispered to each other late at night, where you didn’t have to be a secret, where his love didn’t have to be a risk.

But not here. Not now.

You softly pulled him and leaned up, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, feeling the final feel of his skin against your lips. “Goodbye, Chan...” you whispered, the words catching in your throat.

He closed his eyes, as if it would help make it easier, but his hand lingered in yours a moment longer.

“Goodbye, my love…” he breathed, his voice no more than a broken whisper.

With every ounce of strength you had left, you let go, turning and walking out of the apartment. The sound of the door clicking shut behind you echoed like a death sentence, filling the silence with finality.

Each step you took away from him felt heavier, as though pieces of your heart were left scattered on the floor behind you. You tried your hardest not to look back, knowing that if you did, it would only pour salt to the already deep wound.

Inside, Chan impulsively grabbed the vase that was sitting on his coffee table throwing it at the wall, which shattered in a powerful crash that felt like a gunshot and collapsed back onto the couch, head falling between his hands as he let the grief he’d been holding back flood over him again.

The empty apartment was now as cold and hollow as he felt, each memory of you hanging in the air like ghosts he could never escape. And as he sat there, drowning in the silence, he could almost still feel the warmth of your embrace, the lingering traces of your touch that would fade too soon.

All that remained now were echoes—the echo of your voice, your laughter, all slipping through his fingers like sand.

And he knew, no matter what, he’d always carry this ache with him, a part of his heart forever held by someone he was never meant to keep.

Some goodbyes leave scars, not because love wasn't enough, but because it was everything.

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Enjoyed this one shot? Consider checking my masterlist for more. Requests? Check 𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 (& 𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜)

Thank you for reading!

xx,Ivyy

[obsidianpen]

Watching Tom work was fascinating.

The way he emitted magic, either from the tip of his wand or from his very fingertips, was nothing short of awe-inspiring. He moved with an enviable fluidity, weaving and unweaving enchantments as though he had always been able to do so, as effortless for him as breathing.

Well, perhaps not quite so easily, Hermione thought, observing him none too discreetly from over the top of her book. Tom’s brows were furrowed in concentration as he coaxed and prodded at the temperamental memory in the basin, forcing magic into and around it in rushing spells that were sometimes gentle and sometimes not. Beneath his hands and wand the memory flared, shimmered, or sparked in response.

My memory. The violated, tampered-with memory of my test…

But Hermione couldn’t allow herself to dwell too much on how Tom might go about fixing it—literally. If she so much as attempted to ponder what she, personally, would do to reconstruct it, she was struck with an instant and debilitating headache.

It had already happened twice, and her mind was still buzzing uncomfortably. Tom hadn’t been pleased when she’d needed to explain what was happening to her and why. 

She couldn’t try and repair her own tampered memories… because she had signed away the right to when she’d signed the contract. She could do nothing to help him—which was a shame, really, because she was quite good with memory charms of all kinds, having cast and reversed many of her own.

Hermione could hardly blame Tom for being as furious as he was when she’d told him this. He hadn’t technically yelled at her once for signing a magically binding contract with the MACUSA (with a blood quill, no less), and it was almost worse that he hadn’t. His response at the reminder had, instead, been a glare that made her feel much too small, a frigid bout of silence that made her feel like hiding under the table, and the simple, softly spoken instructions to sit down, make herself useful in some other way, and to not distract him.

At least he let me get dressed first, she thought sourly—albeit he still hadn’t revealed what clothing he may have gotten for her, if any. She was still stuck wearing his much too large clothing, and she was starting to think that the only reason he wasn’t giving her anything else was because he liked seeing her in it. 

Making herself useful, however, was proving to be difficult. Focus, Hermione told herself. She looked back down at her book, this time reading one Tom had brought about advanced warding techniques—and immediately lost focus. Again.

The broken memory in the basin flaked angrily. Tom murmured something under his breath, his eyes narrowed as he cast some new sort of magic over it, trying something else.

The MACUSA really must have done a number on my memory, for it to be this difficult to repair, Hermione lamented. But that was about as much as she could dwell on it before her head started to hurt.

Concentrate on the book—try to find some passage to convince him to alter the wards around the cottage, maybe. To let me influence them too, so I’m not trapped here.

That would be the smart thing, Hermione knew. And she was trying. But as soon as she would find herself immersed in the text before her, there would be another flash or a spark and Hermione would find herself looking up, her eyes drawn to the Pensieve and the rippling magic and—

Tom was simply too fucking attractive.

It caused Hermione no small amount of shame to find herself continuously drawn to watching him. Ogling, more like, she admitted to herself. Tom was shirtless, for one—he was wearing nothing but a pair of the same sweatpants that hardly stayed up on her, and that was all. His chest was bare, the flickering light of the magic he conjured casting shadows that enhanced every line on his torso, every muscle—and those arms. How did he have such nice arms? Which was to say nothing of his agile hands; those long, nimble fingers were mesmerizing, the way they exuded magic, the way they deftly handled his wand, and it was no wonder he was so good at—

Hermione quickly raised the book up to cover her face, grasped by the irrational fear that he might catch her staring and blushing. He wouldn’t. Tom was so deeply focused on his spell casting that she might as well have not been in the room.

Maybe I shouldn’t be in the room, Hermione realized. She wasn’t exactly focusing properly herself. I might be better off locking myself in the bedroom where I can’t see him.

She was just about to do that, had just gotten to her feet, when there was an especially bright flare of magic. Tom lifted his wand, and his face, which had been drawn in frustration before, lit up in triumph.

Hermione approached the Pensieve, and she could see at once that he had succeeded. The memory was no longer a cloudy white, furious thing, swirling like a small storm in the basin, but was calm, a languid quality to it as it ebbed and flowed, not quite liquid, not quite gas.

Exactly what a healthy memory should look like.

“You did it,” Hermione said, both deeply impressed and yet not at all surprised. “You fixed it.”

Tom wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and looked at her, grinning. A moment later, however, and his victorious expression fell, turning to that cold, analytic stare. He looked from her to the basin and back again. His grip on his wand tightened. 

“Don’t you dare,” Hermione said, as though she were in any position to issue threats. “I swear, Tom, if you think about watching my own memory without me, I will lose it.”

Tom’s lips twitched. “Am I that predictable?” he said, not denying that he was considering doing exactly that.

“Yes,” Hermione said. “You are. And if you do something to keep me out of there while you go in and watch what happened, leaving me in the dark, trust me when I say I’ll find a way to make you regret it.”

To her surprise, Tom didn’t look angered by her daring; he seemed amused. “That’s no way to thank me for my incredible prowess,” he said, nodding towards the Pensieve. “There were some very tricky spells in that memory… you probably wouldn’t have been able to break them, even if you could have tried.”

“I—yes I would have!”

“We’ll never know, will we?” Tom’s smile darkened a little, tinged once more by the rage at her past, poor decision making. “But that, hopefully, will be one of the few mysteries we’ll never get to solve… unlike this one.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. When he looked down into the basin, Hermione could see the swirling, smooth silver of the memory reflected in his eyes.

“Shall we?” he said. 

Hermione swallowed back her fear and nodded. Here goes nothing, she thought. Or everything.

Tom held her tighter, and together, they tipped into the past.

[podiumackles]

the moments that stay (they turn out all wrong)

In which the man she could never forget suddenly turns up at her cell, but he has no remembrance of the woman in front of him. And the moments that stayed with her for decades, turn out to be her memories only.

series masterlist

CHAPTER 4

A/N: This one took me a while, but I'm back! I've been to two comic cons in a row, and I've just been so busy with work as well, so my writing motivation was little to none. But here's part 4! English isn't my first language!! apologies in advance.

Outlines: After being his sidekick in Payback for years, you-better known as your supename Fury-ended up on the same end of Soldier Boy's violence as every other person. What you didn't realise, however, was that your old team had set you both up for betrayal, right when you thought you were helping them in getting him. After decades of being stuck in Vought's testing lab, you heard Soldier Boy got out. But the man who appeared in front of your cell wasn't the man you knew.

Warnings: swearing, descriptions of gore, mentions of blood, mentions of death, soldier boy (yes, this man should be considered a warning), and possibly wrong storytelling in lines of the canon events. I'm not that good at remembering, guys. and the boys was just kinda complicated. forgive me.

Present

It was only a couple of minutes later when Butcher finally broke the dreading silence, but your mind had raced through a timespan of hours. “We need to get out. Get up, love.”

A tight grip fastened around your right upper arm, lifting you urgently but with slight care. Your eyes barely left the horror scene of several guts splashed against the walls in the hallway, body parts scattered around the floor, and in the back of your mind, you remembered the two decapitated bodies Ben had been the cause of.

The air felt electric, the smell of smoke burning through your nostrils and finding the dreaded way towards your throat. You could barely believe it was your doing, but there was no denying the destruction that lay in your wake.

Ben stood rooted to the spot near the door, his shield lowered but still gripped tightly. His eyes flicked toward you, and for the first time, the cold indifference you had become accustomed now labelled as fear. And it frightened you because, for a second, you got the feeling he would lash out like he did all those years ago.

But you didn’t have time to dwell on it.

“No,” you whispered, more to yourself than anyone else. “I need you to tell me what happened.”

You could barely recall the moment you lost control, the power that had surged through you. But the aftermath was all too real. You stared at your trembling hands, electricity still sparking between your fingers, the residual energy crackling like a distant storm.

Ben didn’t respond. The tension between the men hung in the air like a ticking time bomb.

“Like I said, we need to move,” Butcher said, his voice gruff as he pushed away from the terminal. “We’re locked down for now, but Vought’ll be on our arses soon enough. Let’s get the fuck outta ‘ere.”

You took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. The adrenaline from the fight was fading fast, replaced by a gnawing fear—of yourself, of the power you’d just unleashed. You could feel it, the wild storm inside of you. You had no idea what had triggered it or if you could control it again. And judging by the way Ben was looking at you, he wasn’t too sure either.

As the three of you moved out of the control room and into the hallway, the facility felt strangely empty, the echoes of your destruction trailing behind you like a shadow. But you knew better. Vought wouldn’t give up that easily.

Ben walked ahead, his broad frame cutting a path through the blood-splattered hallway, but his movements were more cautious now. The confidence and rage that usually simmered beneath his surface were subdued as if he was watching you closely, waiting for you to lose control again.

You didn’t blame him.

Everything was silent. Too silent.

You just wanted either of the men to scream at you- put you back in that cell as a result of their fears.

But none of it came.

Butcher, ever the pragmatist, kept his focus on the exit, but even he glanced at you from time to time, something unspoken in his gaze. He had seen supes use their powers before—hell, he’d fought against them—and while he wasn’t afraid, he certainly wasn’t going to let his guard down around you. Not anymore.

“Oi,” Butcher muttered as you approached the final set of doors that led to the outside. “You good? That little light show back there—gonna happen again?”

You swallowed hard, trying to suppress the trembling in your hands. “I don’t know.” you admitted, hating how uncertain your voice sounded. You didn’t want to make yourself weak.

But with the way you lashed out, you didn’t think either of the two would think you were weak.

Except maybe Ben.

Because he thought you were a lab rat.

Butcher raised an eyebrow. “Well, now’s not the time to go rogue on us, love. We still gotta make it outta ‘ere in one piece.”

You bit back a retort, knowing he was right. But his words only fuelled the fear already building inside you. You weren’t sure what this would mean for you.

Ben stopped at the door, glancing back at the two of you. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes lingered on you for just a second longer than necessary. “You sure you aren’t going to fucking kill us?” he asked, his voice gruff and unkind.

And you knew then. He didn’t think you were weak.

He thought you were a monster.

You met his gaze, feeling the weight of his words. “Fuck if I know.”

For a moment, the three of you stood in silence, the distant wail of sirens and alarms a constant reminder that your time was running out. Then Ben nodded, accepting your answer without further comment. He shoved the door open, leading the way into the cold night air outside the facility.

The wind hit your face like a slap, fresh air filling your lungs like the first glass of burning whiskey on a night out. You felt exhausted, nearly falling to your knees at the spot. You glanced up at the night sky, stars barely visible through the haze of city lights, and took a deep breath. For the first time in decades, you were free.

But freedom came with a cost.

And you weren’t sure you could pay it.

Ben and Butcher kept a steady pace as they made their way through the fallen snow, the white burning into your eyes like you’d just stared at the sun, and you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at you.

The facility was behind you, but Vought’s reach extended far beyond those walls. And as much as you wanted to believe the worst was over, you knew better.

This was only the beginning.

As the three of you approached the extraction point, the sound of distant helicopters filled the air, and you could already see the headlights of Vought’s vehicles in the distance, closing in fast. There would be no rest, no time to process what had happened. Not yet.

A black van stood in the dim light of the moon, right behind the final passage of your imprisonment. The two men ran towards it, making you realise this was their transport. You tried to bite through your exhaustion, your pain, but it was to no avail.

Right as you saw a figure leave the vehicle, you fell to your knees on the ice-cold ground- the joined snowflakes burning your knees through your pants.

But you could barely pay it any mind.

The figure from the van moved quickly, their boots crunching through the snow as they approached you. It soon took the shape of a scrawny-looking man, but he couldn’t have been much older than thirty. A slight stubble caressed the lower half of his face, and a few fluffed pieces of hair came from under his beanie.

You struggled to keep your eyes open, feeling the last of your adrenaline slipping away, the cold seeping into your bones. You could barely make out Butcher’s voice, barking orders at the newcomer, but it all sounded distant, muffled by the ringing in your ears, the sounds of the helicopters. Even the weather couldn’t give you strength this time.

But amongst the sounds you could vaguely hear, Soldier Boy’s voice was not one of them.

“Stay with us,” the newest person said, their voice unsurprisingly gentle as they knelt beside you. A hand gripped your arm, steadying you. You tried to focus on them, but the edges of your vision blurred, darkness creeping in at the corners.

About two more people left the van, but you didn’t have any energy to analyse them.

A face appeared above yours, concern etched into their face. “You’re not dying on us,” they growled, and their care confused you. You didn’t even know them. “We need you to hold it together.”

And you tried. God, did you try.

You weren’t weak.

You weren’t pathetic.

And most of all, you weren’t going to make a fool of yourselves.

So, instead of succumbing to the darkness that had crept into your mind, you looked up at the broad figure and focused on his kind, but demanding eyes. Three men held you up, and you could vaguely make out the figure of your former companion getting into the back of the van without a word.

You were helped up into the vehicle, and for a moment you felt like the fool you were afraid to become. You were a supe. A soldier. There shouldn’t have been any need to get lifted into a van by three men.

Taking your place near the backdoor, you lifted up your legs and wrapped your arms around them to keep yourself warm. You tried to summon the power of the sun, the warmth of fire. But all you got was electricity. Cold, prickling electricity.

Looking out the back window, you tried everything not to make any eye contact with the people around you, as the last person stepped inside and closed the side door.

The air was thick with tension and a strange, almost hesitant feeling of understanding. You slumped further against the cold metal side, feeling the slight vibrations as the van roared to life and sped away from the facility. Every bump on the road sent jolts of pain through your body, but you bit down the groans that threatened to escape.

The scrawny man from earlier sat beside you, his gaze flitting between you and Soldier Boy, who sat in the far corner on the other side of the vehicle, keeping his eyes trained out the window as well. He didn’t acknowledge you, but his silence spoke volumes.

Butcher, sitting directly across from you, watched you carefully, his gaze flicking between the sparks still dancing faintly along your hands and your exhausted expression. He was assessing, weighing whether you were still a threat.

“Listen,” Butcher’s voice cut through the quiet, “I don’t give a rat’s arse if you’re feelin’ sorry for yourself. We need you sharp if we’re gonna get through this alive. That means no more ‘accidents,’ got it?”

His tone was harsh, but beneath it was a sliver of something else—almost like concern. Or at least, as close to concern as Butcher could ever muster.

You managed a nod, barely meeting his eyes.

Part of you was angry.

Angry at yourself, angry at Butcher.

But most of all, angry at Ben.

Because how the fuck could he walk around, swinging that shield like it’s nothing, without a single memory of you lingering inside his mind?

You bore your memories. You were burdened with them.

But now, you bore his, too.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.” You decided to speak up, deciding to no longer make a fool of yourself. Truth was, you had no idea if you could keep the outburst from happening again. The power felt wild inside you, like a caged animal ready to break free the moment you lost your grip.

You turned away, focusing instead on the faint vibration of the van as it rumbled along a rough road. The cold had settled deep into your muscles, making you shiver uncontrollably. It felt like you’d never be warm again.

Butcher, noticing your discomfort, threw a blanket your way, which you caught with clumsy hands. “Don’t say I never do nothin’ for ya.” he muttered. There was no softness in his tone, but it wasn’t entirely unfriendly either. Maybe he didn’t hate you—yet.

He was the one who wanted to get you out of there, anyway.

For his own damn purposes, that is.

You wrapped the blanket around yourself, trying to gather your thoughts. “What is this about?” you asked, not sure if the only thing they’ve done was lie to your face. “The truth, this time.”

Ben switched his gaze towards you instantly, sending you a look that was close to a death glare. And you were the stupid one who locked eyes with him at that moment.

And at that point, you missed his caring gaze. His words that only you had gotten in the past. The person he cared enough for to catch a bullet to the head.

Until he didn’t.

Butcher tilted his head, sending Ben a daring glare, which caused him to look away.

“Butcher’s got a thing for picking up strays.” Soldier boy spoke sternly, absently averting his gaze back outside, his eyes trembling as they followed their surroundings.

You broke your stare towards Ben, and you could sense the weight of his words passing towards you. You were just another stray to them. And you weren’t sure what that meant.

Butcher still didn’t answer. Either he didn’t have one, or he didn’t want you to know about it.

The silence inside the van thickened, each unspoken word a weight pressing down on you. Ben's brief outburst still echoed in your mind, the sharpness of it reminding you just how far you'd fallen from the fragile trust you thought you’d shared with him. He wouldn’t even look at you now, the distance between you as icy as the snow you’d collapsed into earlier.

Butcher leaned back, his eyes narrowing as he studied you. It was like he was weighing whether to trust you with more—or if it was safer to keep you in the dark.

Finally, he spoke up, his voice low. “We’ve got a little operation. Some resources, a few people who ain’t fond of being Vought’s lapdogs,” you noticed a slight tremble in his voice. One a regular person wouldn’t have noticed. “We just needed one more backup- someone who knows all about the company. You.”

You clearly felt like it was a lie.

A straight-up, fully thought-out lie.

Butcher’s words grated against your nerves, the blatant half-truth curling like smoke in the air between you. It was too clean, too practised. You could see the calculation behind his eyes—what he was willing to share and what he wasn't.

You raised an eyebrow, letting the silence stretch out uncomfortably as you locked eyes with him. “Just needed backup, huh?” you echoed, your voice cutting through the tension in the van like a blade. “And it just so happened that your ‘backup’ was locked in one of Vought’s prisons?”

Butcher’s jaw tightened, a flicker of annoyance crossing his face. He didn’t like being called out, but he didn’t deny it, either. “Look, it’s more complicated than that,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his bearded chin. “Vought’s got their hands in everything. Any chance to screw with ‘em, we take it. You were there, we got you out. Simple as.”

Ben scoffed, turning his head toward you. His gaze was sharp, scrutinizing. “Yeah, and it’s not like you’ve got anywhere better to be, do you?” His voice was harsher than you remembered as if all the warmth you once thought you saw in him had been stripped away, leaving only the bitterness behind. “Or would you rather be back in that cell?”

You clenched your hands into fists beneath the blanket, feeling the sparks crackle faintly against your skin. It was a good reminder that you were far from powerless, even if you felt lost. But you held the charge back, not wanting to give them any more reason to doubt you—or fear you. “I don’t know what I want,” you admitted quietly, and the honesty of the words stung. “But I know I don’t trust any of you. Not yet.”

Butcher gave a rough chuckle, but it lacked humour. “Yeah, well, join the club. We’re not here to make friends, love. Just keep your head down, and don’t fuckin’ lose it in the process.”

You looked away, your mind racing with the implications of this uneasy alliance. The cold seeped through the metal walls of the van, biting at your skin, but it was nothing compared to the chill in Ben’s gaze. He had been your ally once, your only friend in the darkness. Now, you couldn’t tell if he’d ever been on your side at all.

As the van bumped along the dark road, the tension between all of you settled into a heavy, uncomfortable silence. But despite everything, one thought gnawed at you, refusing to be silenced.

Whatever Butcher’s real reason was for pulling you from that cell, it was more than just needing an extra set of hands. And you would find out what it was—one way or another.

A/N: as always, feedback is appreciated! let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

thanks for reading! <3

taglist: @demodemo909 @deangirl96 @mostlymarvelgirl @n-o-p-e-never @daisydark @mxltifxnd0m @lamentationsofalonelypotato

[georgiapeach30513]

Now Jen…I LOVE your blog and your posts but I respectfully disagree about your Steve comments. Again, I use the word respectfully, because I don’t want you or your other followers to take it too seriously. But I think it needs to be said.

First of all, Bucky fans love to make virtually everything about him, especially when it comes to Steve. Please do not at me, Bucky fans never want to admit this but some of you even bleed onto the actors and like to make things about SS when it’s about CE. Think about it. Why do these two people always get compared?? Maybe because it’s a bunch of Steve Bucky fans who can’t get over it and don’t want to. And then it becomes competition and Bucky/SS fans need to make it a sticking point into virtually everything and I’m TIRED. CE fans tend to get upset because they keep having to defend Chris doing random movies instead of doing or following what Sebastian is doing and I think some of them are tired too. Or maybe I’m just projecting.

Steve in the movies did everything for this guy and he also does everything for everyone else. But the moment he does something for himself WW3 happens. I’ll agree that the ending for his arc should have been different because the endgame storyline left too many questions and as a Steve fan I find it extremely annoying. But Why is it his duty to be his friend’s butt buddy forever and always? How come Bucky fans can’t ever seem to let go? And they’re fine when Steve world revolves around him but when they have to deal with Steve being his own person and thinking about his own life for once it’s verboten. I don’t think Bucky is perfect in the slightest and mostly he annoyed me 10 fold in the falcon show. But I will allow it since he has been through a lot, he’s allowed to be grumpy. I don’t expect him to live his life for Steve and tbh I also think he should have gone back in time and relive his own life differently. But that’s a different story and clearly about whose marvel contract is still active and whose is expired.

But Steve needs to be a ray of sunshine that doesn’t do anything except exist for his friend 24/7? Also…why are we getting this “he left him for a person who aided in bucky’s demise?” How did Peggy do that? Why, once again, is it not about Steve and Peggy, but about Bucky and dumping it on Steve and Peggy???

Even now salty bucky fans make their dislike about endgame and MCU about Steve not being around for Bucky, even though the storyline literally was just writing Chris out of it. If it was in reverse and Bucky went back in time I’d 1000% bet none of you would be crying about it. You would say, good for him he deserves to lives his life over. But Steve deserves just as much if not more, he has had no life of his own and was barely existing even in his own movies, as…oh yeah, even marvel was making his story about other people, so no I don’t agree with this constant needing to be mad at Steve over Bucky, when you could just admit that you want it to be about Bucky always and Steve second.

That being said…that is just my opinion. Your opinion is valid as it is your blog. You are my favorite blogger on here but this is one thing I can’t stay silent on.

I love conversations like this, so NEVER apologize. I think the beauty with cinematic universes are we get to know the characters a bit more. And every character is going to resonate with different people in a different way. So let’s get into this, and of course I respect your take, but let me explain a bit more where I’m coming from.

I am aware that we Bucky fans love to make him the main event. As do Steve fans do that, and Loki fans do that. And I do think that there are some people who go bleed the lines of reality with fiction. Obviously when I joke around about Sebastian and Chris I do not think that they are romantic at all. I do think that Chris and Seb equally are aware that the other is attractive. And everyone knows that I am a big hater of people comparing Chris to Seb. I don’t like it. These are two different actors who have both carved out their careers very differently, and for them. Sebastian has always shown that he wanted awards, and is looking at acting as an art form, while I think Chris enjoys what he does, but maybe doesn’t center his whole life around it. As far as the random movie, Seb has done random shitty movies as well. I am not going to dive into why Chris has chosen the movies he does, because I’m not Chris.

There is a big reason why I hate time traveling movies, and honestly, this is a prime example of one of them. I’m also aware that Chris’ contract was up, so they thought they would be clever with his ending. I actually think it was a cop out, personally. It’s not just for the Bucky aspect but for the Sam aspect. Maybe Steve being a white man didn’t understand the weight he put on Sam’s shoulders. I don’t think Steve understood Sam’s position as a black man, and I think that reigns true with most white folk, including myself. I will never understand the injustices that POCs feel, I can be empathetic, but I am aware of the privilege the color of my skin has. Again, Steve’s ending left so much to be desired. And then if you think about it, Steve knew that Peggy died having a full life, and he still selfishly went back. Furthermore, he went back, and stopped the life Peggy would have had. So therefore it alters the future/present. Again, I hate time traveling movies for this reason. I think at the end of the day it was the finality of the decision, but also I feel so many people weren’t given closure with it. That includes fans, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and all the other Avengers.

I personally do not think that Steve needs to live his life for his friends. But this was the life he was given, he should have moved forward, instead of going backwards, but again, Chris’ contract ended, I get it. It was lazy writing. As far as Peggy aiding in Bucky’s demise, who was the one who allowed Zola to live? Who allowed Zola to not just live but work for SHIELD? Peggy Carter AND Howard Stark. What did Zola do? He rebuilt Hydra. What did Hydra do? They tortured Bucky. Remember when Steve learned all of this? Learned what Zola did, and who allowed Zola to live? How he built Hydra to be more powerful than ever? They created the ultimate weapon, The Winter Soldier. Bucky was no longer human to them.

I can’t speak for everyone else, but had the roles been reversed, I would still be irritated. Again, lazy writing. In my ending, Steve had his dance with Peggy, but he returned. I actually wish that Steve made a bargain with Red Skull, a soul for a soul, and he retrieved Natasha. He got his dance, and he said his goodbye, but he came back to the time he was supposed to be in. Take Bucky and Sam out of the equation. Steve still should have stayed in the present even if those two characters died. He rewrote Peggy’s history, and therefore the present. Don’t get me started on Marvel making his story about others, Civil War still irritates me. That was just a lower scale Avengers movie, and we deserved better. I enjoy the movie, just not as a Cap movie.

Now as to the last comment, I jokingly say I can’t ever look at Steve the same. I actually choose to believe my ending for him over what happened. I don’t want him to constantly live to serve Bucky. I want Steve to have his time to grow into Steve. Oddly enough, Steve is also my number 8 Chris character. I don’t think I resonated with him as much as Bucky, and I can admit that this is why I put Bucky on a pedestal. It’s funny that the two best friends had very similar and yet very different lives. I wish that Marvel would have dove into that more. I would love to see a piece where it explores both Steve and Bucky’s mental health. We got a bit of that with TFATWS, but not enough, and without Steve. I guess I love the Cap trio so much, including Sam, I selfishly want more and more of all three.

Again, I love these conversations. And I think all your statements are valid.

[livedtough]

She isn't yelling at him, which is...worse, maybe. It would be easier if she'd yelled at him. He can yell, he can fight, but he doesn't know how to handle her upset. She's worried about Steven, and so is he, but he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with that. He just wants her to stay out of her way, to let him do his damn job, but that doesn't seem like it's happening.

Maybe he should have been honest with her from the start, but the hope had been that this would blow over, that the situation with Steven would be smoothed out, and none of this would have to happen. God, there's enough shit going on already. But he doesn't want to talk to her. She's not his friend, she's not anything. She's a stranger, and whatever the hell is going on with him, with his head, that's not anything for her to know. His armor may be cracked, but it won't break.

He doesn't want her here, doesn't want her putting her shoes on like she's his friend, like he's going to let her come with him without any problem. Like this is a friendly little walk they're going on in the middle of the night. He huffs as she speaks. Of course Steven doesn't want to be involved. That's the point. That's his point. But it's too late. He thinks it might be, anyway. He'd like to fix it, if he can, but the damage might already be done. "I don't know," he answers honestly. "I think it's me." Maybe she's not helping, in fact he's sure she's not, but he doesn't think it's her fault. It's his, and he hates himself for it.

She stands, and he tenses, not ready to strike, but preparing to. He will, if he needs to. It won't be the precision strike of a viper, but the frightened tearing of a cornered wolf. "What? You think I'm just gonna let you tag along? I'm not in the market for a chaperone, and the sooner you let me go, the sooner I can get back in this apartment and to bed without anyone knowing. So get out of my way." He couldn't say it wasn't even a decent idea, but it wasn't one he was willing to entertain at the moment.

"I know ... I know." She should be angry - part of her is, more is going to be, but it's all going to have to wait until afterward, when she has a chance to decompress. If she has a chance to decompress.

But the fact is that if Marc had just told her this in the first place ... she gets why he wouldn't, but she would have understood better than she did to just 'get away from Steven'. She's not sure yet exactly what their deal is, and she's juggling enough worries that that's actually a minor one; ahead of it is what's happening and what to do about it. Not least because she can see the cracks in Marc's armour that he's trying to hide.

"Believe me," Her voice is low and even as she wrestles with her socks and shoes, "I'm absolutely positive that he doesn't want to be involved." Steven was fine - or as fine as Steven gets - until recently. Until somewhere in their timeline around her meeting Marc, and it flickers through her thoughts that ... "Did you think it was happening because he was hanging around with me?" Again it's not an angry question. In fact she's nodding - in his shoes, with ... whatever the deal is going kerwhacky, it would have been a logical jump.

"Marc ... please." She stands now, bordering on anxious, fingers laced together in a way that's close to wringing her hands, "I can't let Steven wake up alone somewhere strange again. I can't. He's a mess, and he's trusting me, and I can't let him down. You said yourself, we both already know what we are. Let me come with you as a safety net, in case ... well. Things don't go as planned."

[defaultcake]

missing you rn

[buqbite]

it's kinda fascinating to me how welt has been "at the end of his life" for like. several decades by now. he goes on and on about how old and weary he is and how "his job is done" and his story is over but- oh wait i just realized i can phrase this in a very funny way- he's kind of sorta immortal now because he got the herrscher core back, so he's really just stuck in the epilogue for all eternity

[cent-scratchnsniff]

here together

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.

but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.

at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...

but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.