#if it doesnt matter and doesn't mean anything why do u feel the need to say it then???

[cannibalismyuri]

coming out as a passive jopper hater bc the insane level of capitalist pandering they did with s3 (with ERICA who is like. one of the worst, stereotyped portrayals of a black girl ive ever seen, bless her heart) was truly crazy. combine that with the copaganda and the general attitude of hopper in s3 which was played off as 'awkward loser guy doesnt know what to do with Feelings more at 8' was a bit .... Eh :/ to me. because it is so obviously a fictional character and show but like. disliking hopper/jopper bc of the ideals st is perpetuating and the fact that they arent compatible at All in s3 (to me, atleast) is valid. some ppl might just think that jopper is unhealthy and/or 'overrated'. because they do sort of pay a disproportionate amount of attention to jopper, compared to the other canon romantic ships (afaik, bc of the screen time counter) and that can be Weird, esp with the... how should i say this? balancer/savior role hopper takes in the relationship (we constantly see him placating joyce, sometimes even being slightly patronizing, and also they place a lot of importance on him saving joyce from a lot of stuff, which is cool and sick if it wasnt for the fact that it directly correlates with him being a cop, yk). and the general power imbalance bc he's a Cop and abuses his position of power constantly, and that is exactly Why anything that joyce does is seen as a #insane girlboss category 5 woman moment because she simply has the short stick in the power race and when she does manage to make an impact DESPITE her economic/social/'general uselessness in say in Major decision-making when it comes to authorities' shortcomings it is seen as an amazing win. hopper on his own is extremely fleshed out as well, because we get to see his arc play out with his relationships with his daughter and ex-wife and el and re-learning how to be a parent and how to not let love allude him, and that is lovely! it's so great to see the adults in the show being focused on! but joyce is absolutely disregarded and underdeveloped as a character of her own right outside of her relationships with hopper or her kids. we see that she is determined and a force to be reckoned with and that she cares very deeply for the people she loves and would go to insane lengths for them but all that doesn't Mean anything, because we never see a backstory for her. we never figure out who she is without her family or hopper, or what her motives and aspirations and emotional shortcomings and stumbles and mistakes are. for a character to be fully fleshed out, they need to be an interesting, refreshing and palatable character On Their Own without their relationships with other characters, and we just don't see that with joyce. like u have Thee winona ryder on ur show, and u forsake developing her character in favor of developing hopper's character with /not the best taste/ and causing her to be a blank slate of a mother, lover, woman and friend, but not a PERSON. all she's been reduced to is a Mother and Hopper's Girlfriend, and honestly, that's the worst decision they could've made in relation to her and her relationship with hopper.

anyway, all this to say; these are my thoughts on the matter, but i'm definitely not hating on people who enjoy jopper passively and DEFINITELY not any by/ler (the most predominant fandom im part of in the parent fandom of st) who enjoys them as a ship with their own dynamic separate from canon. because the by/ler fandom is NOT a monolith and nobody is obligated to agree with me or change their opinion if it doesn't align with mine or be forced to look at my opinion and feel bad for shipping anything. im not going to act Holier Than Thou for expressing my opinion and u should definitely continue shipping jopper if it makes u happy! as long everybody recognizes the copaganda and capitalist mindset grind propaganda shit in st (which is Pretty Obvious) and respects that while shipping what they want, i have no problem with it. all that is to say; peace and fucking love. can we (the by/ler fandom) stop fighting abt jopper we all have our own opinions this is bc we are Not a hivemind or a monolith and not obligated to have the same opinions relating to all aspects of st just because we happen to ship one thing. i am a hater and a lover

[daemon-in-my-head]

Okay here's my impromptu datv review that nobody asked for but I feel a certain need to ramble. Spoilers duh

Shit I vibe with:

The hair. Not the selection but the overall way it was implemented. It's nice and flowy and actually moves when my character does which is pretty neat and definitely hits a spot I didn't know have

Exploration is kinda fun. As in, getting sidetracked by side paths and the likes

Contrary to popular opinion I actually like my Character having a voice and actually being part of the conversation, so that's cool

Considerably minor choices have an impact. And now I want to punch Solas for being a smug asshole after I was a dick. I mean cmon he kinda deserved that one

You can somewhat customize your room. That's fun

Also; aquarium room yay

Stuff thats just 'fine'

The character creator. The scars are cartoonish, the tattoo selection is something, for lack of better term, and the hair selection at least for elves is atrocious. But, there are a lot of sliders for the face and body itself and you can get lost in them for quite a while

The atmosphere is alright. Environment is pretty to look at usually

The tarot art and stuff is pretty

Shit I definitely don't like

The lightning, or lack thereof. Somehow my white haired dude has black hair everywhere but in the lighthouse where it's somewhat muddy gray. Outside of the character creator I don't think I've actually seen the color I chose. Seemingly not an issue for dark hairs tho

The action combat. Don't get me wrong, looked super fun, and may be, but at least as a warrior who needs to get up and close to enemies half of the time I just don't see shit cuz of the weird camera angles. The darkspawn and shit are especially horrible cuz the blight usually covers the mark that would tell me whether or not an incoming attack is blockable. Which is fun if your combat kinda relies on you blocking shit.

Complaining further about the 'action combat'; it's so oddly slow at times? At least the warrior combat doesn't feel particularly fast, especially dynamic attacks like dodging, rushing or jumping. Which yk, you'd think would be fast. Then again, I am used to incredibly fast-paced combat and games in general (yk the kind that doesnt even allow you to think), so that might be working at my disadvantage rn.

Further complaining about the combat +1; the tutorial is shit. I'm sorry but text dumps ain't a tutorial that's a wiki or smth. Tell me which button to press in a tutorial fight while I actually need it and see my actions immediately translated and don't tell me 2 seconds after spawning 'hey u can dodge like this' only to have absolutely no reason to dodge for the next 10 minutes and 3 cutscenes. That's just lazy game design

The combat controls. Listen I know this is super nitpicky but who the fuck uses space to dodge as standard control in 2024 and why do you hate your players like that?

The writing. It's so on the nose. It's legitimately written for people without any critical thinking ability or attention span or whatever. Also it's so fucking repetitive. Yes we've established the elven gods are evil like 10 times in the last 60 seconds. I think I understand now. Can we talk about literally anything else please?

It feels like all characters have this 'try not to smile now' smile all the time. The stakes are supposed to be high but everyone's just grinning about. It does definitely impact the vibe

Being a sarcastic bitch sometimes is as morally gray as this game gets

The story is paced slowly. Which could be a win, but in this case feels more like a drag or a timestretch to artificially increase the content.

I've been a bitch to harding, nearly killed her, told her to stay back multiple times, overall did only thinks she disapproves of and I still rizzed her up somehow. Why. How. Does it even matter if they approve or disapprove of my actions? So far it doesn't rly seem like it

Why do you allow me to pet cats nd stuff if I can't actually see it happening. -100 points just for this one in particular

Most of the NPCs are copy pasted models and I can't unsee it. BG3 spoiled my ass with their diversity.

Turn your brain off and it's fine. Nice to look at. 60€ worth nice to look at? I'm rly not sure. Oh but definitely don't try to think if you listen to or read the dialogue cuz it will physically hurt you.

Will I keep playing it? Idk, honestly I am kinda bored after the initial 'oh new shiny game' wore off even though the concept is exactly the shit I usually vibe with. But welp, we'll see, whatever happens happens, for now I'll just disappear back into the void where I came from and probably take a nap.

[fivveweeks]

hi its me it's verdante angst anon (angstnon? idk) again

shaking ur hand SHAKING UR HAND you get me you get me you fuciigndnsn get me

"They're a tragedy, the both of them. Dante's fine with that. (They have to be, they have no choice in this) Given enough time a tragedy turns into a comedy. Maybe they'll be able to laugh about this in the end. Maybe it'll even be divine."

you don't undertsysnds how feral i am about these two. i am firm staunch zealous believer in verg not seeing himself being worthy of like anything good not until he has payed for his sins or wtvr he wants that to mean. i think he exercises a lot of self control to make sure he has like an arm and a leg and several bodies worth of space between him and anyone trying to get close to him (xcept Charon ofc). actively turns and runs from that shit bc 1. he doesn't deserve it. 2. he literally does not have the time for that shit

dnate on the other hand— chronic workaholic, to the point they can and will push personal feelings aside for the sake of their job. if u look up the word professionalism you WILL see Dante Limbus Company as a synonym. they keep their feelings in check (under several locks and keys) in the back of their mind aging like fine wine. they're aware they're not a choice and they're okay with it. it's their fault anyway, they're such a silly little fool.

it has always been doomed from the start. do you understand? it has always been hopeless. it was never meant to be.

dante knew/knows/accepts this, they do not have a choice. (but then again when do they ever?)

ANON YOU'RE SO FUCKING INSANE I NEED TO TWIRL U AROUND LIKE HOLY SHIT U GET IT!!!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA how much of a firm believer i am about Dante being a chronic workaholic. NOBODY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IT YET BUT literally i do not think they need to sleep/they cannot sleep/gets little to no sleep at all and instead spends all their time up night reviewing battle plans and rewatching past battles on their little PDA. its a combination of anxiety and wanting to step up as a better manager (if we take into account of limbus players dissecting the gameplay meta of EGOs and ids we can literally translate that into Dante pouring over how to better manage the sinners). god forbid them from stepping out of line due to personal feelings bc they a) do not want to piss off vergilius and risk his wrath b) do not want to piss off vergilius bc they respect him (and like him) as a coworker, a boss, a color fixer and their guide too much. they are the EPITOME of professionalism. their work and responsibilities as a manager COMES FIRST

Vergilius too, you put it into words on him as a person. Literally he doesnt think he deserves it AND he doesnt have the time for that shit (for real verg in canon seems to really hate ppl wasting his time over trivial shit). i think even theres some distance between him and charon but he mostly crosses the space bc he's too guilt bound to deny charon some form of connection (bc it is his fault in the first place), so he is soft to her and her only.

it's like watching two parallel lines running along each other and no matter how close they get they will NEVER touch ever. ISNT THAT A TRAGEDY???

but its not all angst, they at least find a little light in the situation. verg would come to appreciate how dante respects him and his circumstances and would be pleased that they are like-minded enough to keep things professional between them, so he is comfortable in confiding in dante on certain topics (in canto 2 where verg and dante stands together by the side to watch the sinners get their ass peeled and verg telling dante why they should experience it for once lives rent free in my head bc he actually bothered to explain to dante wauhgshfh). he admits that dante is the only sinner that he can have a convo with. he fucking told dante to not befriend him after sharing a little history on charon. dante would appreciate the little moments they get to spend with him

just brief pockets of time with each other, despite everything. i like to think they are both the kind of ppl who would accept that things are just not meant to be, so they will take what little they can (what little they're allowed).

in the grand scheme of lcb and the city they are both nothing but a pair of pawns trying to make the best of their situation without getting in the way. they have no choice.

and to come across another who understands this is a rare, rare gem in their crapsack world, so how can we blame them for having a little bit of pining among the acceptance. mutual respect blooming into requited love that is unable to be acted upon. a divine comedy in its own right. im going to kms

[voidthehuman]

Things that annoy me abt people

1. Two faced people If you dont know what two faced means, first of all for fellow Muslims out there its a massive sin. It kind of means you treat one differently than one another. Lettme give an example: lets say you tie people you know with a tight rope that kind of hurts. One of them is maybe a really close friend or maybe a family member. So you loosen the rope on theirs to relieve the pain but keep the rest tight. That is two-faced. Now- I seen this mostly in tickle rp or even just being a good friend in general. People just treat one friend better than another because they see one as a closer friend than another- or one may be their partner, I understand completely that u may do things with ur partner that u wouldnt do with ur friends. But it dont mean that u treat ur friends worse because you have a partner. Its BS. And it doesn't matter that you feel hesitant to treat one friend like a close friend. Because if it does matter, than you could say that its okay to for u to k!ll someone because you dont feel like letting them live- and dont say "oh but thats different." If I have the title that I am ur friend than u better not treat me worse or better than the rest of your friends, doesnt matter how long me or they had been your friend for. 2. Passive-Aggressive people Again, haram. If you purposely talk to me or anyone dryly than I probably just- wont be ur friend. And if you ignore me or anyone else without even telling them the reason why, then again, wont be ur friend. Maybe I wont just instantly unfriend you and maybe ill talk to you but still people love being passive aggressive for some reason. They think its cool, maybe they will change their mind when they see Hellfire. 3. People who get angry easily Agaiiiin haram. You are considered weak in Islam if you get angry easily. I dont need a paragraph explanation for this honestly. If you lash out at me, or be in a "bad mood" and when i speak to u, u just be like "what." Then, again, unfriended. 4. People who say they are in the tickle community but never actually do anything tickle-related. This is self-explanatory. This is kind of a vent- cuz I recently been feeling kinda left out. Like man I remember a while ago in the gacha tickle community I was called the "tickle pet of the community" and I would wake up to some fun tickle rps n stuff. It wasnt just back and fourth tickling we actually set up a plot and everything like a tickle school or a tickle version SCP site- was fun. But recently, nobody really rps or hangs out with me as much. I see people sending nice paragraphs to each other in public and I dont really get any unless i send one first. And ofc, two-faced people treating me like 1/4 of how good of a friend they can actually treat me like yet treating others much better. When we talk abt it, it always goes down to "they r closer friends" orrrr "trust issues" which I dont even consider someone a friend if they cant trust me- idek what they dont trust me abt- its just about treating me like they do with their close friends and rp with me as much as they do with them. And if u know this is u, just know ur not the only one treating me like this- theres many ppl doin this- I made another tickle photo so I will be posting that. Welp, cya.

[mithliya]

"but i disagree with ur argument that it’s like. an accepted and normal thing. again, the majority of radblr are bisexuals, the ppl who were prejudiced against bisexuals in such a blatant way were always criticised and being called out and i know this bc i’ve been on here for years at this point and had personally called out many of those ppl who were already basically pariahs outside their own little radblr cliques."

what does it being mostly bisexuals have to do with anything? lots of bisexuals hate other bisexuals most of all. like that imdb person that said bi rape victims are just whiners trying to play 'most oppressed' if they talk about biphobia or that drpepperwoman that said bi victims of abuse shouldn't complain because she as het-partnered bi doesnt feel oppressed so the rest of us must be exaggerating or lying. And plenty of people encourage them and tell them how cool and awesome they are for "standing up" to other bisexuals. Lots of non-bisexuals encourage them.

I don't know how you can think it's not an accepted and normal thing because that is entirely different from my experience. plenty of people that were very friendly with the blackpills are still around and popular, like that like-a-ruby, tenko-irl, desisapphic, lesbian-king-kai and lots of people that reblog from them too less vocally. it's not like I now most of the names tbh only the ones I have seen repeatedly over time. Or like kronkk throwing a tantrum and saying she doesn't care about the blackpills and that they're right and she "loves mean lesbians" and then deleting all those posts when other lesbians started to react badly. or people like piqued-curiosity who say she disagrees with them but always goes out of her way to defend then and say they need compassion and healing, then passes around essays calling bi women dick worshipers and saying bi rape victims are just weaponizing abuse and she calls it insightful and smart, and that rape victims just need to learn critical thinking skills and not zero in on that because those aren't the parts that matter. No one seems to understand that we have every right to get mad at people like her that treat our abuse like an acceptable target even if they claim to disagree with it. And there's weird borderline shit like heterophobic saying she thinks most people are really bisexuals, and heterosexuals are also a sexual minority, basically saying homophobia is the fault of bisexuals because they are the majority and they enforce it. It can't just be that heterosexuals are manipulative and homophobic liars, it must be they are bisexual. Or her saying bisexuals don't experience the core of homophobia, so I guess when we're raped and abused thats some het bullshit that doesnt have to do with real homophobia. Or the lots of women that say weird shit about bi men, anything from that sports are homophobic only because of bi men, to saying bi men need to be exterminated because they hurt all other demographics. Bi women are not stupid we can see that's biphobia that will carry against us too if it was more acceptable.

and most of all maybe you don't see it because radblr is huge, it's not like just you and your followers, it's several circles with sometimes only tiny overlaps. I often dont see these lesbophobes or know who they are until you reblog them to call them out either but that doesn't mean I don't believe you that they're a problem in other circles. maybe you simply don't know the people passing bullshit around bi women all the time but that doesn't mean its not tolerated in some groups. And most of all just like lesbophobia, homophobia, and racism are still a problem I don't know why you think homophobia against bi people was magically solved. Of course its there just like all the rest.

okay after i read this message i now understand that the reason u don’t see them as a fringe group is bc you consistently read things said by both bisexual women & lesbians you disagree with in the most uncharitable and bad faith way possible bc i know some of the stuff you referenced and it wasn’t as you described it

[idyllic-affections]

🌻 its cruel of anyone to push someone away from their own culture just cuz they dont fit the "standards" or whatever other shit 💔 ohhh u dont know the language— stfu first of all learning a language is hard. im bilingual and its hard for ME to learn any other language. i had german and spanish in school and i simply could not learn any of them and same goes for any other language i tried to learn on my own!! i learned nothing in the end even tho ive been learning english since first primary, meaning i already should have some experience in learning a new language. but i dont. and second of all no one should ever demand proof from anyone that they are a part of this culture or whatever like!!

it’s not only annoying but also fucked up that people have the sheer audacity to set stupid requirements for OTHER PEOPLE'S identity. one's identity can be so hard and sensitive of a topic and having someone try to police u in this matter, try to tell u that no sorry u dont know the language/culture so u cant call urself that— i genuinely have no respect for people who act like this

and third of all idk man if someone came to me and said "hi i want to learn more about poland and the culture because i have polish family" (because suurprise!! im polish too!!!!) id be more than happy to tell them everything i know. even if i might not be the best knowledge source AHAJSJDKDK they dont know polish? or anything abt poland?? they just learned their family is polish??? it simply doesnt matter this person wants to learn more about themselves and im more than happy to cheer on them and hope that theyll learn everything they want. and that theyll never feel excluded out of something they deserve to have place in

this got a little long but as u can tell i got very passionate about this topic 😭😭😭 it annoys me so hard how unhuman some people can be

SOO TRUE it's so invalidating ESPECIALLYYYYY when it's always other latino or hispanic people telling me. bro please. i am doing my best here 🙏🙏

i tried for years to learn spanish and it NEVER clicked in my brain. i know basic spanish and basic french (i had to take a foreign language class a few years back so i took french 1) that's it. Please. learning a language takes so much practice and patience and the issue with learning spanish is that my pronounciation will inherently be more "white" because erm. yeahh. english is the only language i've ever spoken fluently. and for some reason, there are many native spanish speakers think it's funny to make fun of mispronounciations? so now i'm scared to practice because of that. 🫶 it's not cute or funny and it's never been in intended an affectionate way. but i am also mentally ill and neurodivergent so that probably doesn't help AJKSFBJSLSHNFM idk man but it is NOT "all in good fun" it's EMBARRASSING!!!!!

IT'S GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATING why should i have to prove my ancestry to you? like. first of all that's really none of your business and second of all i literally do not have to prove anything?!?!?!?! no-one does?!?!?!?! no-one is somehow any less of their heritage simply because they don't know much about it. literally. it is so upsetting why can we not just let people live peacefully fr.

SOOO REALL i need to ask about it again because my maternal family is generally very open about this kind of thing, and it's easy to communicate with them because there is no language barrier between us. i would love to know more about myself. because my culture is something i deserve to have a part in, you know? it's literally in my blood. it is something i always was and always will be, and i feel like i have a right to want to learn about it.

nooo it's okay!!!! i completely get it. i feel like it's becoming very common for people to be less and less human. and it makes sense, given... you know. politics and everything lately. not to be political /lh but there is just a little too much hate being spread and i dislike that so much. many people have forgotten how to be kind and it's just???? very sad and upsetting.

[no0dlru]

is that post abt your bf a complaint or. cause it doesnt sound like its fun for u lol

Uhhhh, it's not really intended as a complaint. Things can be frustrating at times, but the point in being intimate with someone is the intimacy, to me at least.

A lot of my friends talk about sex as if it's such a prerequisite for a relationship. One mate was saying she doesn't understand why someone she knows would agree to no sex before marriage; she said that, without having sex, you couldn't know whether you'd want to be/stay with a partner. I disagreed, saying you can know if you love someone regardless of if you've had sex. It's silly to think asexual people are any less able to love, so of course non-asexual people who've decided to be celibate for whatever reasons aren't any less loving for their decision. They're not "withholding" anything. By contrast, to expect sex from anyone who isn't enthusiastic about it themselves is about as unloving as you could be.

Another friend relayed a conversation about a woman in the club saying "I think he's really special - he even went down on me, and no guys ever done that for me before", to which her friend replied "That shouldn't be special! Any decent guy would do that, it's entirely normal!" - she agreed. On one hand, yeah; if guys are willing to hook up and actually have sex, and they have no qualms with doing whatever else *specifically except* oral, just from a genuine lack of care about their partner's enjoyment, then yeah, that's annoying. And a lot of guys are like that due to patriarchal brainrot...

But again, sexuality is about closeness and mutual enjoyment to me. It's about finding out what each other enjoys, and listening to and understanding each other. To feel pressured to perform a sexual act is one of the worst feelings. There's a difference between being selfishly unreciprocal and keeping boundaries.

I purposefully used the phrase pillow princess in the post because I found the gendered language pertinent; pillow princess isn't necessarily a derogative term with lesbians, it's a value-neutral descriptor of a person in a specific dynamic. It's someone with certain preferences who pairs well with a certain counterpart (like a stone butch). A woman who wants to receive pleasure but, for whatever reason, doesn't want to give it, isn't seen in the same way as guys are described above. She's attractive to ppl with complimentary desires, and that's appreciated. Her sexual preferences are respected as her choice.

The difference to me seems largely sociological (i.e., aforementioned patriarchal brainrot). Porn, media, social pressures, etc., encourage men (and everyone else for that matter) to see sex in a consumptive way, commodifying the experience. I find it tragic that so many guys basically want to masturbate with their partner's body, that there's an impersonality, and that they don't properly connect with their partner or consider them. I think the fact lesbians have been subject to misogyny rather than benefiting from patriarchy means the choice not to reciprocate seems less entitled.

When I asked my bf once what it was he actually wanted in terms of intimacy, he basically said "I don't know... the point is to have fun, right?". And he's right. That consumptive lens I mentioned affects what my mates said before, too. A sense of transaction, exchange, expectation. Like undetermined portions of the relationship - the dates, or conversations, or foreplay, or idea of a future together - are deposits for an expected return. Or investments. Or loans. To me at least, if your relationship doesn't work unless you expect your partner to perform whatever sexual act, you're not in a good romantic relationship. You need to figure out what each other's needs and desires are, and how you both feel, then find a way to have fun with it.

I am having fun, lol. I know my bf isn't like that in a dispassionate way, he's just doing things at his own pace. It's not out of a lack of consideration, and I know he does love me very much. To go back to the commodification thing, a lot of people see sex acts like a shopping list of wants to check off, or as if they're necessary to feel desired in turn. Fun in sex isn't just quantifiable that way. Experiences aren't fungible like that. I could easily get more genuine enjoyment lying and stroking his hair than I have from some hookups before. When we got together, I knew he was intimidated by all of the expectations that surround sex - the bravado of his mates, the way it's described in media, how it's expected to fit into guys' egos. He was worried I'd think less of him for having boundaries. I'm disappointed in myself, frankly, for having been impatient or frustrated about how he's going about things, not that I'd said anything to him or whatever. Time spent with someone you love is beautiful for what it is. And fun, lol.

[nayaaatv]

wonwoo bf headcanons ☂︎

# : fluff, gn! reader ♡

warnings ! : none (?)

wc ! : 0.6k

a/n : FINALLY OMG. i thought this writers block was gonna last forever im so sorry.

req by anon ♡

look, yk how this man games right. okay so.. lets say one day, you got really bored and asked him if he could play roblox with u. ofc, he said yes bc he loves u. but also thought it was pretty stupid at first. but now... its a daily thing for u both!! you'd ask to play the 'stupidest' games like royale high, da hood, the mimic, whatever!! but he says yes everytime, and enjoys it everytime. hes having fun as long as ur having fun too.

u guys would have a cat together. like... fr. you'd name it like milo or tulip. cute things like that, ngl... i think he'd buy them little clothes or collars. to him, THEYRE HIS CHILD. u teased him about it before but he just replied with "im practicing." i hope we all know what that means hehe.

keeps every gift you give him. he still wears the bracelet you gave him 2 years ago. he still hugs the plushie you gave him on his birthday. he loves it when u still keep his gifts too. he appreciates it so much

can nap without u, but refuses to most of the time. he personally thinks its a need that u literally have to be there when he takes a nap, he doesnt know why, but he literally needs u to be there. he wont force you too much if you're busy, but hes gonna struggle a lot ㅠㅠ. its better if you like napping too or if ur a big cuddler. it doesn't matter to him though. you dont even have to nap with him he just wants you to be there.

computer cafe dates, like pls. your either both playing games or your just watching him do his stuff. its so comforting for the both of you. you're telling him about your day, ranting about the annoying co-worker you had at work as he games away. he always listens though, remembers every detail. he tells you about his day too, and its just a fun hobby for you both.

hes a bit shy most of the time, so you're gonna have to be the one to initiate anything physical. but he loves loves loves hand holding. you dont know why and maybe he doesnt either, it just makes him feel so safe and his hands are so warm and he says your hands are so soft to him :((

he really likes taking photos of u... don't take this in a weird way but he looks like the guy to have like a whole photo album of u looking pretty whilst doing nothing. whether its u actually posing for the camera or him just taking a photo without ur acknowledgement. little photographer bf

again with the gamer wonwoo agenda, if u were even struggling with something just a bit, he would leave his game immediately. it does not matter. it could be the simplest things! not being able to reach something, seeing a bug, literally anything!!!! he will help u everytime. okay maybe he doesn't help you everytime but he always pauses his game when he notices, and then goes back to gaming if he sees you dealing with it on your own.

secretly loves it when you kiss him out of the blue while he's reading or watching something. he always hits you with the "what was that?" in a very cool tone but his heart is actually spinning like crazy. he thinks you don't know but you can see the cutest shade of red on his cheeks everytime. he doesn't need to know that though.

[ jeonghan is next ! ]

taglist 𖦹 : @odetoyeonjun @stuckinmyhead5 @guavagyu @starry-mins @pearlygraysky @enhacolor @khypods

[intergalacticaquarium]

more terrible no good headcanons for eddie disaster dreamboat munson

I said that if anybody made him too cool I'd have to add more and that's exactly what I'm gonna do babes because I had to scroll for way to long to find him making spagetti-os

(posting again bc it wasn't showing in the tag)

(first post)

-genuinely doesn't know what those stains are. Didn't even know it was stained bc he's had the same fitted sheet on it with one corner tugged off for 8 months and forgot about them since last time

-throws away Tupperware if the stuff in it is too gross

-he's pretty sure that green sour candy counts as a vegetable so he does eat at least 3 a day.

-just. Doesn't ever throw things away. Stupid shit like the backs of band aids and paper straw wrappers and napkins and hooooo boy this has turned into a callout post about myself

-sometimes horseflies fly into his hair and get stuck and he can hear them buzzing around and doesn't necessarily so anything about it right away until it stops

-no room for legs in the front seat of his car that space is reserved for old fast food bags

-buys new underwear instead of doing laundry

-hey why do I keep writing genuinely embarrassing things that I literally do irl. Is this really worth putting myself and the 4 huge bags of laundry I have in my tiny car and all my band aid wrappers on blast. Next I'm gonna write that every surface in eddies house is covered in stacks of hobbies and papers that feel like a goddamn archeological dig every time I clean

-psych he does that too

- ok things that I don't also do so that I don't start having a crisis that makes me a tidier person:

-feeds a family of raccoons that live in an abandoned hunting cabin in the woods

-one time he let one live in his closet for a bit and hoped Wayne wouldn't notice (this may explain some of the stains)

-this boy spills. Everything. He's a hand talker and it doesn't matter if he's holding something.

-the hand talking is also terrifying when in a car he is driving

-never drinks water ever and it stresses ppl out

-every single time he sees somebody he knows in public he will try and sneak up on them to scare them

-wears shoes inside bc he broke glass on the carpet months ago and he doesn't want to vacuum.

-the only place he has to actually sit and do anything I his room is his bed because everything else is covered in stuff

-everything is covered in stuff but every drawer he has is empty

-theres one category of things he owns that is organized absolutely meticulously and idk what it is but he's very proud of it and when he says he's "cleaning his room" it means organizing like band tees alphabetically or sorting minifig painting supplies and everything else stays trashed

-it's a perm and he did it himself in his bathroom 100%

-hair dye stains all over the bathroom from an ill advised look a while back. and maybe a few more times

-doesnt have a compulsive habit to bite his nails he does it bc he can never find the damn fingernail clippers

-notes and doodles. All over his arms

- yknow how when u were in school by the last day you'd have like one pencil and nothing else and u kept a hold of it bc you couldn't find any others?

- eddies been at that point since about half way thru his first senior year. He has one pencil and it is a stub (it is a d.a.r.e. pencil and he does find it funny) with no eraser and it's not sharp and it had a million bite marks on it

-has little stoner burn holes in all his clothes all his sheets his matress his sheets and the seats on his car bc he needs to be more careful and is gonna end up starting a fire someday

-wait that last one was a me thing

-maybe this is how I can embrace my flaws. make eddie do em too. it's cute when he's disgusting

-I no longer have improve myself at all

-puts random food in his pockets for later even though it will get linty. Gonna go ahead and say that I don't do this.

-isn't actually that good at guitar it turns out

-I gotta stop myself now because I know they'll just keep comin but add any you can think of or dm me because every time he gets worse he gets more of my love so like 2 give him a hug reblog 2 spray him with a hose

[sincerely-lev]

 'taking back what was once mine.' - kuroo tetsuro x female reader

Summary: your ex doesnt seem too happy with your new boyfriend， so he takes back what was once his.

Warnings: non-con， cheating， breeding mentions， creampie， crying， unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it), face fucking, he calls u princess 🙊

Notes: i do NOT condone this behaviour in REAL LIFE, and all characters are 18+

THIS IS @tokito-protection-gang 300 special! (Yes that is my KNY, MHA and JJBA blog.)

away from the crowd, Kuroo stares at you, and your new boyfriend, which happened to be his best friend.

his best friend. out of all the people in the world, and you chose his best friend.

he watches as you feed your boyfriend, whilst he plays on his phone.

he can’t hate his best friend, but he can hate you, and he does, from the time where Kenma introduces you to him, as his girlfriend.

he remembers, when Kenma had suddenly spoke up, whilst on a volleyball practise that he had found a girl, he was happy for his best friend at first, but.. he didn’t expect it to be you. 

to be his ex, that he didn’t realize he misses until now. he tried making it seem like he didn’t give a shit, but he can’t. 

no matter how much he tries， he can't seem to forget about you. even though， your unfortunate break up was two years ago.

he watches you， as you laugh with your other friends， and Kenma excusing himself to the toilet， probably annoyed of the loud music that was ruining his game.

hell， he's surprised that Kenma even came along to the party， since that was something his best friend would never do， and he knew him for so long...

he knew this was a bad idea, that he was ruining his relationship with his own best friend, and that he was being a selfish idiot, but he couldn’t care less, he’s delusional. he can feel it, that you’re still thinking about him, deep down in your mind, but you just refuse to show it. 

he wonders why he had even let you walk out of his life, but now, he’s going to get you back, and he will do anything to make sure you are by his side, til you bite the dust.

as soon as Kenma was out of the frame, he stood up, his heart pouding in his chest, ready to break out any moment.

his heartbeat was louder than the music that was playing, as he walked towards you and your friends.

to you, and your friends surprise, he yanked you, and dragged you to the females toilet, shoving you in the stall with him. 

“what the fuck, Kuroo?” you grabbed onto his shirt, to prevent yourself from falling over, since he was practically leaning against you. 

breathing down your neck, inhaling your delicious scent that drives Tetsuro wild, he started leaving visible hickeys, nipping at any spot he could find.

between his huffed breathing, he spoke, “shoulda never let you go,” he continued, “but, now, I’m going to take back what once was mine, and you...can’t do anything about it..”

whimpering in both pleasure and discomfort, you tried to push him away, but he was too strong... stronger than you.

you could never expect less from the Nekoma’s team captain, huh? 

he grabbed you with brute force, flipping you around, so he could see your back, he leaned down, grinding his clothed cock in your wet panties. 

he continued to leave hickeys, nipping at your shoulder. he wants it to leave marks, he’s possessive, an animal.. sick, twisted, beast. 

 it scares you a lot...

back then, when you and the Nekoma’s team captain were still dating, sure, he was a little bit possessive back then (the reason you both split up), but he never forced anything on you. 

“ngh..why are you.. you doing this?” you covered your mouth, in hopes of hiding your moans, but he grabbed both of your arms with little to no effort. 

“because...I love you, love you so much...” 

what was he thinking? did he think this is love? this is anything but love, it was rape, you didn’t want this, but he didn’t give you an option, so you had to stand here, and take all that he gives you, until he’s tired, and you’re filled to the brim.

“besides...

i’m only taking back what was once mine...”

that sentence.

 that ONE sentence, it leaves you shaking with fear, Kuroo Tetsuro has gone crazy. 

“get up.” he demanded with a voice that screams dominance. you were thinking if you should obey him, or ignore him... but apparently, a second of  thinking was too long for the impatient man behind you, so he chose the path of a monster, and rip your pants to nothing, and you could do nothing, but shut your eyes tightly, whilst tears stream down your face. 

"don't act like you aren't enjoying this, princess. you're fucken' wet..." he hummed, whilst you cringed at the pet name, princess? really? Kenma never called you that, it was always 'kitten' not like you and Kenma got sexual most of the time.

"you're wrong..i-..." you spoke up, but he would not let you, and crushed his lips into your soft ones, forcefully, whilst he had a strong grip on your neck, like he had intentions of cracking it, he could, he has the strength, but, you know he wouldn't.

he may be this controlling and rough, but surely, he would never hurt you.

physically at least.

"shut up." he growled in your ears, and pulled your panties down.

putting a hand on your mouth, he shoved a finger into your tight cunny, moving it around, and you could do nothing but whimper and cry.

after a few minutes, three fingers were shoved into you, wiggling around, whilst his thumb was on your clit.

"s-st..op.." you whispered, unable to speak loud enough.

he laughed, before he smile, a smile that could kill, you were afraid, but you're unable to do anything, he was stronger, taller, quicker.

you could do nothing but take it.

"good, princess, just sit there and let me do alllllll the work." he hummed once again, before he continued to finger you, stretching you out.

suddenly, he pulled his fingers out of you, forcing a whine out of your pretty lips.

"calm down, baby, you just need to get my cock wet, and i will give it all to you." he smirked, letting his cock spring up, into your face.

it was not small, nor was it big, but the thickness made up for it. just one or two veins there, but what scared you was his expression.

"come on, it's not gonna suck itself." he grabbed your hair, practically shoving your head, to take him all, before he continued, "if you give me any teeth, i will make it hurt. and i don't want to make it hurt, so choose wisely."

you don't know what he means by making it hurt, but you didn't want to find out either. so, you were going to play in his games, just to keep yourself safe from any harm.

you were struggling trying to take him all without gagging and accidentally vomiting, you could feel your drool drip down to your neck.

as soon as you have it all in, he started forcing your head back and forth on his cock.

you could feel his dick twitch in your mouth, but soon, he pushed you towards the wall, grabbing your head and face-fucking you harshly.

his balls were slapping against your chin, and you could taste the salty pre-cum on your tongue.

you were gagging, and your throat was sure going to be sore with his rough pace.

suddenly, warmth flooded your mouth, pulling you out of your own thoughts, he then held your nose to stop you from breathing.

"swallow, princess, and i'll let you breathe." he grinned, and you had no choice but to swallow his salty, pearly white cum.

you opened your mouth to show him that it was all gone, and soon he let you breathe.

but you weren't even given a minute to rest, before he flipped you over, and lining his dick to your entrance.

you shut your eyes tightly, tears streaming down your pretty face, as he practically rip you in two.

he let out a groan, from your tight heat. "shiit, princess, you're fucken tight.."

he doesn't even care if you're crying, he doesn't give a fuck. he continued to thrust in an animalistic pace, whilst you tried to get used to his manhandling.

he pulled your hair, causing your cunny to clench down on his cock.

pointing it out, he spoke, "you suddenly got tighter, are you into that?"

your eyes tightly shut, with tears running down your face, you shook your head.

however, he just had a shit-eating grin, "i never knew you were kinky, princess."

he continued to thrust, pulling out until the tip, and forcing himself back inside.

"what if I cum inside you, and impregnate you? how would my best friend feel about dating a cumslut?" he leaned down, whispering words that had your eyes widening in horror, as you could feel him getting close.

"no! please, pull out, i'm begging you, cum anywhere but inside me, please!" you continued to sob, wanting everything to end. you feel bad for your boyfriend, he was so sweet, and nice...

"why should i? when i have this..." he thrusted one last time, before letting out ropes of hot cum in your pussy. "beautiful cunt to cum inside."

you were still crying, but he picked up his pace once again,

"we are gonna be great parents."

[blxetsi]

modern levi ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

levi ackerman x gn!reader

- firstly, lets get love language out of the way

- i think his love language would be acts of service

- so like, he'll brew your coffee for you and set out your favourite mug when he goes to the kitchen to make his tea (bc we all know he'd wake up earlier than you 🙄)

- or he'll pick up a muffin from your favourite bakery on his way home

- or if you ask him to remind you to do something later, he's immediately writing it out on a sticky note and sticking it somewhere youd notice

- he notices youre getting low on your favourite moisturizer ? or lipbalm ? he's taking a picture of the packaging and getting it the next time he drives past walmart or smth

- he just does little things that help make your day better

- now i feel like a lot of people say this already, but he is NOT very comfortable with public displays of affection

- its not that he doesnt like it when you touch him, or hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, he just gets flustered and feels like everyone is watching you two

- but one thing he does allow is looping your arms together while you walk, especially in crowded streets

- it doesnt mean he doesnt like being close with you, he just hates doing it public. when youre alone ? hes ALL OVER YOU.

- "will you play with my hair ?"

- "levi im working."

- "okay can you multitask ?" motherfucker 😐

- doesnt matter if hes the big spoon or little spoon, just being close to you is enough.

- also would try and get used to your love language

- if your love language is physical touch hes genuinely surprised by how many times you put his hands on him each day (NOT in a sexual way) like even his mother never touched him as much and he's a momma's boy 😳

- when you wake up your coming out to the kitchen to fill your coffee, but not before kissing the top of his head as you walk past

- then youre guzzling down your coffee like its water before putting it in the sink and walking back, petting his head in the process

- you'll hug him while hes cooking, or brushing his teeth. youre giving him kisses before he leaves and when he comes home, just little small acts of love, but it happens so frequently that levi cant help but notice it

- your love language is verbal affirmations ? youre getting your coffee while saying "goodmorning beautiful"

- "i love yous" are thrown at him a lot, they never fail to make him feel better

- youll compliment this man and he short circuits for a second, quickly gets used to it as time goes on

- also too i think he'd be taller in a modern au, but not very very tall like erwin, im talking 5'7" to 5'9"

- and he's fine with his height, it doesn't bother him that much, he's the average height of a man so what's the big deal ?

- also he really doesnt care about height either. youre shorter than him ? cool, that means he can bend down to give you little forehead kisses. around the same height as him ? awesome, that makes it easier for him to give you a peck on the lips. taller than him ? mf he'll climb you like a tree if he has to. really doesn't care.

- also doesn't have a preferences for body type or anything. he thinks that character is way more important than looks 100% and he'll always find different things about you beautiful. your laugh is weird ? k now he's making you two watch a john mulaney special to so youll laugh. hate your belly and wanna lose weight, he's holding you and telling you to only lose weight if you genuinely want to be "healthier" and not so you get skinny. your acne scars bother you ? he's kissing your cheeks a lot more than usual, but you can't complain. literally Loves Every Part of You

- also i think his family would absolutely ADORE YOU and his friends for that matter

- miss kuchel is pulling you into a hug the first time she sees you, and is so accomodating and sweet. shes genuinely interested in your interests and what you do for a living, and will NOT hesitate to get levi's baby pictures out if you ask.

- his uncle ? he probably wont be there for the family dinner, but then kuchel's gonna call him up like "levi's s/o ?? absolutely spectacular !!" and then hes like "huh maybe i gotta come visit to see the runt and his lover"

- also i think in a modern au, kuchel wouldve gotten really sick when levi is a boy, so kenny would have came home to take care of his sister and try and take care of levi. in the end she got better, and he went back to his own home, but now she requests that he come for at least one family holidy so they can all spend it together

- BUT back to mr. ackerman

- idk what he'd do in modern times, i used to think he'd be a good english professor for a university, but then i saw a headcanon that he'd go into law school and become a lawyer, and honestly ?? it makes sense

- after a long day at work he just wants to come home to you, he'll find you on the couch reading or doing some of your own work, so he'll just slip off his coat and blazer and undo his tie while slipping off his shoes by the door. before plopping his head in your lap and requesting you to play with his hair.

- if you don't live with him hes taking a shower and then immediately calling you asking to come over. if you can ?? great he'll be in bed waiting to be spooned. if not, thats fine, but levi would like to facetime and rant.

- also has the absolute WORST road rage

- "that little prick cut me off !"

- "levi he's taking his driver's test !"

- "so ? i hope that instructor doesn't give the idiot a pass 🙄" and then will immediately honk his horn at the poor kid.

- also wouldnt be a clean freak like in canonverse. his whole "everything has to be spotless" stuff stems from trauma, specifically being left in an apartment with his decaying mother for weeks on end, but since kuchel is alive that never happens

- were things a little hectic during the time she was sick ? sure ! but kenny always tried to tidy up a bit when he saw it was getting to levi.

- levi just likes things to be neat and tidy, he doesnt do a deep clean of his apartment every two weeks, but always makes sure to clean up his messes as soon as they happen

- also doesnt like to fight

- his mom raised him with the idea that communication is key, and always encouraged him to "explain why hes upset" so they could work together to come up with a solution

- its something hes taken with him to adulthood, and even though sometimes he sounds like hes talking to a child when hes trying to get you to "use your words" he really doesnt mean to

- if youre yelling at him he'll stand there like 😐 and wait until youre out of breath so he can say "okay lets talk about this"

- is also very handy

- have a hole in your wall ? hes coming over to fix it

- need a lightbulb changed ? hes got u dont worry

- you need to assemble a piece of furniture ? he glances at the step by step guide once before hes putting it together

- hes so great at that stuff, and you only have kenny to thank

- literally when kenny first came to stay with levi and kuchel when she was sick, the kitchen light went out and he asked levi to screw another lightbulb in, the poor kid stood there like 🤨 and when kenny said "what ? you don't know how to change a fucking lightbulb ?" levi shook his head and said "uncle kenny im seven 😐"

- kenny was APPALLED. and immediately made it his mission to make levi as handy as himself.

- also, dates with him are rlly lowkey.

- he likes being in your company, so staying home and ordering take out is AWESOME in his opinion. sometimes he'll dress up and make a fancy meal with you.

- if you like going to carnivals and stuff, he's reluctant but eventually caves. wins you a lot of the prizes.

- "fuck. this shit is rigged y/n"

- "sorry levi, lets go do something else !"

- "what ? no. give me another dollar im getting you that fucking turtle"

- hange always wants to see you. levi makes it his life mission to keep you away from them as much as possible. not because he doesnt want you to get along with his friends, just because he knows that hange will spill some embarassing secrets from his college days.

- erwin ? hes okay but hes on thin fucking ice.

- also is very gentlemanly. will not only hold the door for you but for everyone. hes waiting in line for his order and someone comes up behind him and asks him to scootch so they can get some napkins ? mf its grabbing a handful himself and handing it to the person, wishing them a nice day with a small smile. hes just like,, a genuinely good person

- his singing voice ? immaculate. will he sing for you ? no.

- he also loves playing board games with you. like chess or checkers. you love playing board games with him and his friends, specifically monopoly. hange makes moblit form an alliance with them. mike is a lone wolf, and erwin and levi are always helping each other out until erwin betrays him. lots of trust is ruined between these game nights, but you literally cant bring yourself to care because its so fun to watch it unfold

this is my first headcanon thingy !! im v excited !! hope u all enjoyed 🤩✨ should i do more headcanons like these ???

- all in all, levi is a cool guy, and a cool bf.

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[ao3gingerswag]

on the whole idea of the boys when they're older interacting with kids, what if one day a kid comes in with his family who's like rly shy and timid, like not bc of abuse he's just rly shy and with his family who are perhaps quite boisterous and he's not and he gets quite anxious and there's a whole thing where the boys are able to bring him out of his shell ;~; like when he and his family are sitting down for a meal dean comes out with their food and makes him relax bc hes so good with kids. he comes down during the night bc he heard a noise and got scared and cas is down there cleaning up for the night and talks to him about nature to calm him down and the boy is like :)) and then the next morning he's outside and there's other kids who are playing with sam and he's off to the side but sam notices and is able to bring him into the play and he ends up making friends with the other kids, and then by the time the family have to leave the inn he's like smiling and happy and he turns to his parents and is like 'can we come back here soon :D' and it's this rly nice moment, maybe from his perspective so we get to see others reactions to the boys :))

ALSO AS I WAS WRITING THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY WHAT IF THE BOY IS JACK. DOESN'T NEED TO BE BUT IT WORKS KINDA WELL!!

awwww this is so cute!!! Maybe this could be combined with the prompt about cas helping the family with an autistic child and helping the parents understand their kid better....like maybe the kid is autistic and so he has a hard time talking sometimes and is withdrawn bc of difficulty interacting with others. and dean is so good with kids, even if he can't spot right away that the kid is autistic like cas would be able to, he can tell when he comes out with the food that the kid is in distress. like he's like and here's yours sir :) to the kid (dean is very polite but he is calling the kid sir as a bit of a joke to make the kid smile) and the kid like doesnt look up and the parents are like oh sorry he's just shy. and dean is like oh. hmmm. cause the kid has like his fingers clenched in his tunic. when he comes back out he like crouches next to the kid to make him feel more comfortable and is like hey :) i'm dean :) and the kid doesnt look up or say anything and the parents r like sorry he gets like this idk why. jack look at the nice boy and introduce yourself. (i didnt watch the later seasons but from what i see on tumblr.edu the consensus is that jack is autistic so!) and dean is like no thats ok he doesnt have to look at me/talk to me. and then to jack he's like. u know i have a friend who doesn't always look at people or talk to them and we get along just fine. so i think me and jack are gonna get along great :) and then to jack he's like. you know. my friend and i dont always talk using our voices. sometimes we use our hands! (i guess this is post meeting eileen- i've said this on a different post but once dean cas and sam r introduced to the concept of sign language they adopt it immediately bc cas feels so much more comfortable communicating like that when he's having trouble w/ words) and jack is like ??! so turns towards dean w/o making eye contact, clearly intrigued. and dean is like :) wanna see? :) and jack nods. and dean shows him a few basic signs and jack mimics him. and one of the words is upset. and then once jack learns it, dean signs "you upset?" to him. ;~; and jack nods. and dean is like. wanna tell me what's up? maybe i can help! and then jack does the shy kid thing of indicating with body language that they dont wanna say what's wrong out loud, so dean leans in and jack whispers into his ear "loud." and dean is like oh! i see! we can fix that :) can i tell your parents what you just told me? and jack nods. so dean says to the parents (who r looking on in bemusement) its a bit loud in here for jack. mind if i take him outside for a minute? and the parents are like oh! sweetheart why didnt you tell us? (they arent bad parents they just dont get jack and its the middle ages so its not like there is info out there) and jack shrugs and the parents sort of helplessly shrug at each other, bc jack not verbalizing issues is a common problem for them. and they r like um its ok u dont have to take him outside we will take him. but do u mind bringing our food outside and stuff. like can we eat there. and dean is like of course no problem! and theyre like r u sure? im sorry that u have to go out of ur way for us, im sorry about our son, he can be. kinda fussy sometimes. and dean is like literally dont worry about it!

so then jack's parents take him outside and they all eat on the porch, and dean keeps popping back over to check on them. and jack is clearly much happier and starts to become much more verbal now that he's not overstimulated. still shy and quiet but much more smiley and every time dean brings them something he's very quietly like "thank you."

omg! maybe dean notices that he's not eating his food and so he's like do we want something else? and the parents r like omg no omg im sorry he's just so particular about what he likes omg the food is great jack pls eat ur food dont be rude. and dean is like he's not being rude at all he's a very polite young man :) id be happy to bring something else out. and the parents r like. well. if you're sure...he likes things that r like. boring. like really really boring. like plain porridge with nothing in it and stuff like that. and dean is like mashed potatoes? and the parents r like yes! and jack perks up. and so he brings that out for jack. and he brings it out and the parents r like omg omg thank u SO much for going so out of ur way for our weird kid even tho he still wont look at u at all. they dont say that part they're not assholes to jack, its implied tho and jack kinda curls into himself bc hes embarrassed about causing problems. and dean ofc notices and is like. u know. my friend who talks with his hands can be very particular too. he doesnt like the noise in the dining room either, and he also only likes certain foods. and jack perks up again :)

ahhh he keeps coming out to check on them and he's like hey how u doing? and!! oh no maybe dean also taught him the sign for happy and he signs "happy" at dean ;~:

to be clear- dean doesn't make the connection that jack LIKE like cas, as in he's autistic, at least not yet. like i think he WOULD if he had more time with him, but cas is the only autistic person he's ever met, and he just met jack. dean def just thinks he's very shy, but he's great with kids and can tell right away that jack is upset, and he shows him the signs not cause he realizes that jack is actually non-verbal in that moment but because he really doesnt care if the kid doesn't want to talk to him, he just wants to help. and he shows him the signs and stuff bc he wants the kid to tell him whats wrong, but kids wont tell strangers that if u just ask upfront, you have to gain their trust a little first ;~; and dean understands all of this instinctually bc he's great with kids so he manages to figure out whats wrong and solve the problem even without realizing that jack is autistic. ;~;

the person who figures out that jack is autistic is definitely cas!! jack comes down in the middle of the night maybe not cause he hears a noise, maybe he just cant sleep bc he hates his routine being disrupted and being in a new place ;~; and the sheets feel all wrong and everything smells wrong and everything is different and he hates it ;~; so he comes downstairs maybe be he's crying and he doesnt want to wake his parents up. and cas is downstairs cleaning up still, it's totally quiet tho now so there is no overstimulation. and cas is like oh! a tiny person!! uuhhh.... he def panics a little bc he's not good w people and he's not sure what to do with a random crying child. maybe he briefly considers waking dean up bc dean is good with kids and also maybe he saw dean talking to jack earlier. but then hes like no dean is tired i dont want to bother him ill try to deal with it. and hes like um. hello. um. my name is castiel i am the owner of this inn. um i guess u dont care about that. um. r u ok? and then the kid signs "upset" ;~; and cas is like oh! bc thats their signs! so he signs "what's wrong, why are you upset?" back even tho like it's just their home signs so how would this kid know them. but he signed "upset" so cas responds kinda on instinct. and the kid does not understand anything other than upset bc dean only showed him like 5 signs and he kinda already forgot the other ones. but it doesnt matter! bc those r hand words like dean was talking about and showing him! which must mean this is his friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking!! and jack is verbally like. r u dean's friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking. and cas is like um? yeah i guess? thats me. and jack is like ! i am very particular too! and bc he trusts dean and now by extension cas, and believes dean about cas being "particular" like him, he doesnt feel embarrassed about admitting what's wrong. and he spills his guts hes like everything is WRONG i dont like how anything feels or smells or tastes and everything is different from how it is at home and i HATE it and mom and dad says thats rude but i dont want to be rude but i cant sleep bc everything is all wrong!!! ;~; and he says all this not looking at cas and waving his hands around his head. and cas is like......................................................................oh. hm. i see. this is Me.

so he's just very empathetic and is like im really sorry i totally understand, you're not being rude, i also feel that way whenever we travel and i also am very selective about what i can touch and eat and stuff and am very sensitive to the physical environment. i know i cant fix it all but is there anything i can do to help you feel better? do u want to try some different blankets? and he takes jack to the linen closet and is extremely patient as he brings down each blanket and lets jack touch each one and decide which is the best. and it DOESNT solve everything but just having someone take him seriously and listen to him makes jack feel so much better and hes eventually able to go back to sleep ;~;

in the morning theyre outside, sam who's like 16 or whatever is chasing the kids around playing tickle monster. and jack's parents try to get him to go play with sam and the other kids but he doesnt want to he's too shy and anxious. and cas keeps staring at jack like :( bc he KNOWS but he doesnt know what to do about it. he brings it up with dean and dean is like OH. i see THATS what was going on with him he's like you! and cas is like yeah :( idk what to do about it...

sam sees jack hanging around with his parents on the side and he's like hey! do u want to come play? and jack is like................ and his parents r like sorry hes really shy. and sam is like thats ok! i have an idea, why dont we change the game and we can play hide and seek! (bc that doesnt require jack to jump in to interacting with a big crowd of kids) he's like :) i bet u can hide real well! :) and jack is like! :D and he nods bc hes like whoa i CAN hide really well! and they play hide and ofc sam is the seeker but when he finds the kids he always kinda turns it into man hunt cause he's like ah HA i got u!!! and he chases them around. and eventually he finds jack and hes like mwahahahaha now im gonna EAT you!!! and jack like screeches and giggles and bolts away and sam chases him and the other kids, and basically he like tricks jack into playing the exact same game they were playing before by like easing him into it by not making the start of the game require walking up to a crowd of ppl. but then once they r in the game he's ok just running around with the other kids :)

meanwhile dean and cas watch this and dean is like. do u want to talk to the parents. and cas is like. :/ i dont know how to do that. like how would we even start that conversation. and dean is like. i can help u :) so he does! he's like hey u remember i was talking about my friend to ur son the other day? this is he! u met him when u were checking in! ive noticed that he's like really really similar to ur son and has some of the same issues, and we were wondering if u wanted to talk about how cas deals with some of those things? and basically dean eases them into the conversation and makes it unintimidating for both parties. and cas teaches the parents all about the concept of sign language, and how going non-verbal is more than just being shy, and like they start describing situations in which jack was like Weird theyre like one time he started screaming and crying and rocking in public we didnt know what to do! and cas is like well where were u? what was going on? and like helps them identify the kinds of sensory things that probably trigger jack and stuff. and just like. its a good convo.

omg and cas is literate by this point and maybe the parents r too and hes like. if u ever wanna write to me and ask me about more shit and whatever pls dont hesitate. and then they DO and basically they help this family understand and raise their autistic son and its great!!! :D

anyway this is a VERY long response i definitely just outlined a mini-fic here.

[babysizedfics]

I HC that big Vee still likes to be put to bed. Not like bedtime story etc, but occasionally he will go to one of the CGs (or even Ro sometimes) and be like "im heading to bed" very deliberately, trying to get someone to come with him, or he'll curl up on the couch and start someone off on a long speech about something, just so he can fall asleep and its like he isn't alone, but he doesn't quite realize that being babied to sleep when he's little is the reason till one of the cgs points it out

I have been thinking about this All Day while i packed so i have a lot of things to say abt this - this is a VERY long post so be prepared shhshs

firstly: ADORABLE THANK U

i rlly do think this is in character! because adult virge actually has a lot of trouble with sleep - he has nightmares most nights and we've obviously established that he wets the bed a lot. both of these things tend to wake him up only a few hours into the night and he's not always willing to sleep again afterwards (to avoid nightmares and wet sheets)

on top of that he (used to) struggle with getting himself to bed on time, he would stay up into the early hours indulging in special interests, stimming where he hid it during the day, or being little (when it was still hidden from everyone) and this has all messed up his body clock quite a lot so some nights he just can't get himself to sleep - this is why he's so sleepy during the days

Also i think he just likes being around people, it calms his anxiety because he doesnt worry about whether anyone is hurt or anything because he can see/feel them around him - so im sure after so many nights being babied to sleep by his CGs and getting so used to having someone with him to fall asleep he subconsciously seeks it out when he's big

also while we are on the subject, adult virgil has a very specific bedtime routine! this is me projecting again but he NEEDS to do every part of it otherwise he feels really stressed and upset and gets anxious and that makes it even harder to sleep - his routine is calling roman a nickname until roman calls him one back, saying 'Night L' to which logan has to reply 'Good night, Virgil.' (if logan replies differently virgil keeps subtly trying to postpone bedtime and repeating 'night L' until logan says it exactly right), and having a hug with patton - patton is the most reliable because every time without a doubt he sways them side to side, squeezes virgils shoulders, kisses his head and whispers 'i love you stormcloud' and virgil always replies 'love you dad' while avoiding his eyes. This routine has been in place since before the regression is revealed i think

ugh the fact that virgil finishes everyday by hugging patton is so cute already but also i said that he also starts off everyday by hugging patton too and thats just ADORABLE

now with actually asking for people to put him to bed, it will be different with each person:

with logan, as you suggested, i think he would get logan to talk about something academic that interests him or maybe even - much more rarely - shyly ask logan if he could read the book in his hands out loud. Logan of course understands that virgil does these things when he's getting tired and is happy to do so to help virgil relax before bed. It helps him relax too

with patton virgil is the most obvious - he knows theres no point hiding it from him and he just outright asks if patton can please help him fall asleep. though I think he would actually be most reluctant to seek out patton, ironically, merely because he knows that patton picks up on it and has no qualms with pointing out that virgil clearly loves bedtime and 'of course i can tuck you in kiddo! Do you want me to stroke your hair? Do you want your paci? Shall i sing to you sweetie?'

So virgil mainly kind of avoids getting patton to put him to bed when he's grownup because pattons instinct is to just treat him like a baby - which virgil appreciates of course but some nights he actually wants to stay big and its kind of impossible to do that when patton is humming a lullaby and rocking virgil in his lap

with roman its a very different story - virgil will only ever seek roman out if both CGs are already in bed, which brings me onto a HC that I've been meaning to tell you guys about for WEEKS:

roman and virgil often have 'sleepovers' - theyre really just all-nighters where both of them have trouble sleeping and instead of suffer alone they go into romans room and chill together for the night

they keep this a secret from the CGs mainly because they're sure patton and logan would both have something to say about the fact that at least once a week virgil and roman completey forego sleep and instead eat snacks and watch disney and play video games and shove pillows into their faces to try not to wake the others with their sleep deprived laughter

but also? its just become special to them and they want to keep it as Their Thing

you see virgil isnt the only one who struggles with sleeping - roman tends to stay up very late working on creative projects (even if the CGs put him to bed he will usually get up again because he cant get his brain to switch off) and he won't admit it, at least not for a while, but he actually has a slight fear of sleep

the fact that you are unaware of what goes on around you and are not in control of your body or mind while you are unconscious just doesn't sit right with roman, if he thinks about it too hard he starts freaking out and purposefully avoids sleeping - thought he doesnt tend to think about it too much, he's learned to ignore these thoughts since when he was a teen they led to a pretty bad case of insomnia

so vee and ro tend to be awake late at night and often one will text 'you up?' and within a minute virgil will be sneaking into roman's room to keep each other company

this is where i think most of their adult brotherly bonding happens, its quiet since they dont want to wake up pat or lo and it's a calm atmosphere because of roman's constellation nightlight and the whole vibe of it just makes them a lot more open and soft with each other

they tend to end up talking about Big Life Things on most nights

as they play minecraft one night virgil opens up about his internalised ableism and how no matter how much everyone assures him its okay to need extra help he still feels awful about it and roman doesn't say much, he just listens, but when he notices virgil getting choked up at one point he pauses the game and silently pushes his teddy bear aladdin into virgils hands and pulls him in with one arm to lean against his shoulder

another night they are lying on romans bed, side by side but with some distance between them, and staring up at the projected constellations, talking about how cool it is that logan and patton take care of them and roman blurts out that sometimes he feels a bit scared of logan and thinks he will tell him off for being stupid and force him not to be virgils brother anymore because he cant be trusted.

they dont look at each other, they keep staring at the stars as roman rambles, supplemented by lots of sarcastic comments and jokes and nervous laughter to hide the fact that his voice is shaking. And again, virgil doesnt say much, he doesnt interrupt roman and they both know that they feel comfy opening up to each other on these nights because theres a silent agreement that they dont discuss it, it's just a venting session, no advice or sympathy please.

but virgil does shuffle closer on the bed and presses their shoulders together, and he does take romans hand gently when roman starts picking at his nails

so yeah.. virgil seeks the CGs out when he wants to sleep, but its not so bad when he can't sleep either because he'll aways have roman too

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[redbeanboi]

Hii. New anon here. I love your hcs!!!! Its so good and im wondering if your requests are open if yes. May i request for a mista x reader hcs where she wears a mask bc shes insecure about her face and doesnt like to take it off just like how mista doesn't like to take off his hat? Can u do something like the gang finding a way on how to take off her mask and his hat? If not you can totally ignore this ask. Thank youuuuu

hi anon! Thank you for the support :) I am actually not a hc blog; just accepting them for the fun of it. ((I can’t remember when, but I reblogged a post asking for hc requests and that’s when I started “unofficially” doing them.)) That being said, I’ll gladly fulfill your request. Thank you for asking first though! I appreciate that. Will keep this a bit on the shorter side since I have a habit of making stuff wayyy wayy too long (looking at you 3.0k mista mini-series)... xx

Mista and F!Reader who wears a mask. 

Here’s mysterious Y/n and Mista:

Mista never takes off his hat

Everyone’s been mostly okay with it, mostly because they assume it’s either always greasy or just very messy looking (fair enough, hat hair, right?)

but! once you’re assigned to Bucciarati’s team, everything changes. 

Fugo’s made a game out of guessing what’s under your mask and what’s under Mista’s hat

Narancia is curious but he doesn’t really say much other than “don’t you guys get tired of wearing the same thing all the time?”

Giorno hasn’t put much of a dress code in place and frankly doesn’t see the point in forcing either one of you to indulge in their curiosities

Bucciarati is curious but, like Giorno, isn’t interested in making you or Mista uncomfortable. Think: ‘If you’re wearing those things all the time in public, it’s probably for a personal reason’

Abbacchio claims he “isn’t very curious” and tells everyone to cut it out, but he does stare at you and Mista now and then.

Mista, on the other hand is very curious about your face. He hasn’t seen much of it, but he has seen your eyes and he thinks they’re very pretty. 

You’ve overheard him gushing about it to the others one time

“C’mon, it’s such a waste to hide all that away! Aren’t you guys curious too?”

And he only drops it when everyone else points out that ‘you cover up your hair all the time, doofus’

And as MUCH as he’d like to see the rest of your face, he’s not about to force you to take the mask off

really you’re only insecure. 

just a tiny bit

and who isn’t?

and while you’ve considered maybe taking it off once in a while around these guys

you’re terrified of letting mista see the rest of your face

what if he thinks you’re ugly 

wait

why do you care

not like you like him or anything right? haha

either way

you wouldn’t be the first person to wear a mask for those reasons

and it’s not like anyone needs to know what you look like anyway

as long as you do your job well, it shouldn’t matter whether or not you wear a mask or look cute

and it doesn’t matter if a certain team member thinks you’re attractive because--

right

ahem

anyway, mista’s got his hat, and you’ve got your mask

So the others (Abbacchio, Narancia and Fugo) decide to find a way to get your mask and Mista’s hat off

Giorno and Bucciarati want absolutely no part in any of this, but don’t think they’ll actually try to stop any of them

most of it includes very very stupid things

Like sabotaging the laundry 

which is not very effective when they realize you have dozens of that same mask in your stash

And Mista’s hat just almost never comes off

one time fugo tried to offer you something to drink, thinking you’d take the mask off

except you just sneak the straw underneath your mask and hand back his drink and respond with “that was pretty good! thanks”

and then they went back to the drawing board and asked Trish to take you to a spa

unfortunately you refused to take off your mask there

Abbacchio once slyly asked if you were into makeup and offered to give you some lipstick samples he received in the mail

but you politely decline and say “I don’t usually wear lipstick with the mask on, but thanks”

and dammit he thought he was so close

One time they tried to stain your mask with some pasta sauce (after a failed attempt to feed you some of their food again) 

and in that same afternoon they tried to dunk Mista’s head into some gross and questionable looking fountain

but then you panicked and used your stand on them 

they got a couple of bruises and mista happened to hit his head on something as he tripped and fell

Mista just got very angry at them (and makes sure to reassure you and tell you that none of this is your fault whatsoever)

And now three of Bucciarati’s team members are getting treatment from Giorno because of the injuries you gave them

And then Giorno decides to do something a little underhanded

because really, enough is enough and he’s sure that you’d both rather face a little discomfort for a brief passage of time than deal with this for the rest of your lives

“Mista, you must have hit your head on something earlier. Let me take a look at it”

And before you can blink you rush over to him

“oh that’s right. Mista, are you okay?”

“yeah i think--”

and just when you get to him and Giorno

Mista’s hat just

magically turns into a frog

and your mask just turns into a rabbit and jumps onto the floor

and bucciarati just asks the others “are you all happy now?”

Narancia’s just pointing at your face and his mouth is wide open

Fugo is kind of surprised, brow is quirked up and everything

abbacchio just shrugs because, yeah.. he’s satisfied now

“good”

bucciarati is just telling the others to quit it and leave you guys alone

and to your surprise, Mista hasn’t really said much of anything

you were expecting him to just scramble for his hat again, but instead he’s staring right at you

He’s also making an expression that you can’t exactly read

does he like it?

or maybe he thinks you’re ugly

why

does he think you’re ugly or--

Mista suddenly tears his eyes off of you and smirks at the others over his shoulder

 “would you look at that fellas--I was right after all!”

oh god

he thought you might have been cute but he’s seen your face and now he HAS proof that you’re not as cute as he initially thought

that’s why he’s smiling and blushing right?

or

well, if you’re so ugly, 

why is he smiling like a goofball?

part of you wants to scream because he just keeps looking and smiling and you’re not so sure if you can take any laughs from mista

you’re convinced he’s gearing up to make fun of you

why else would he be smiling like that

but Narancia immediately follows up with

“well I never said you were wrong”

whats that mean

“stop staring and being creeps, guys, she obviously doesn’t feel comfortable with all the attention”

and mista’s mostly right

but when you see mista’s hair

you are ready to just ignore the rest of them because his hair

it’s so

perfect?

It’s short enough to be completely covered by the hat, but !! it’s glossy and dark and kinda wavy

and it’s so cute and you just

pat his head

pat pat pat in silence

its so soft and pretty

and it smells kinda spicy

like cloves and cinnamon or something

nice warm scent

and just as you’re patting away, Mista just grabs your wrist and pulls you in a little closer and says 

“I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this before, but you’re really cute”

A/N Thanks for being patient and for sending this in! I’m planning on writing a few things for Mista sooner or later, so please keep an eye out on my ao3 for those.

xx