#if i'm wrong y'all didn't see this but if i'm right i'm a genius

[kairiscorner]

the confounding case of dr. o'hara. — miguel o'hara x gnreader

✧ summary: your first ever real patient out in the field as a criminal psychologist, and it's the recently caught supervillain, dr. miguel o'hara; a disgraced genius geneticist that supposedly went insane after a freak accident that not only worsened his hunger for rapture, but also turned him into a horrifying spider mutant. you had to be wary around him, anything you could tell him could make him try something risky... but what he wants with you now that he's gotten a whiff of you and your scent is something far more than just risky... he wants your life, but not to take it, but rather, for you to willingly submit yourself to him and only him. ✧ pairing: miguel o'hara x criminal psychologist!reader ✧ genre: (honestly idk, it's not fully fluff but not fully angst nor comfort either ... ? tis just a guilty pleasure fic ig !) ✧ author's note: this is inspired by the lovely kimmy's art on twt !! I'M SORRY, IDK MUCH ABOUT THE DETAILS ON DR JEKYLL AND MR HYDE, I DIDN'T WANNA BUTCHER ANYTHING AND I HOPE I DIDN'T !! i mixed some traits between joker, gomez addams, and some elements of the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde ! ... i hope y'all like this :'DDD AND I'M SO SORRY FOR THE SHITTY SPANISH FGIRUFBUIRBIURTB google translate is all i got .......

i. the scent of honey and a vision of an angel.

pages and leaflets of the mountains of cases against this man successfully made you shiver at the sound of his name–you couldn't believe just how little remorse he had for every crime he had ever committed written down in these records, it was like being in the scenes of a true crime documentary; it didn't feel real that you were going to speak to the very man himself and see just why he committed all those crimes... and why he could only smile at the thought of wreaking so much havoc. you took in a deep breath and walked into the hall where his cell was in, taking cautious steps as you heard the leaking of pipes and the dripping of water accumulating into puddles the further down the hall you entered.

you had no idea why, as a rookie, your first patient would have to be a criminal mastermind—but you needed all the experience you could get, not many people in your field at your level of expertise get the chance to talk to high-profile criminals like him; and you were far more professional and knowledgeable at your job compared to your colleagues in the academy; surely this wouldn't be too bad... right? well, the minute you saw the light coming from his cell, you were greeted to the sight of a hunched over man, sitting quietly at the center of the room with his back turned to the glass in front of you. you gently tapped at the glass, but that didn't catch his attention. "i know you can hear me." you spoke as you tried to get him to turn around again, but he still didn't budge. you rolled your eyes and sat down on a chair across from his cell; preparing to ask him questions that he probably won't even answer.

you introduced yourself as a freshly graduated criminal psychologist from nueva york university, you hoped he would cooperate with you and give you reasons as to why he committed his crimes, explaining to him that he could get a much more lenient punishment if he could explain his side of the story as to why such a once well-respected man had spiraled into such a morbid life of crime. you heard a low chuckle rumble from the other side of the glass, and that low rumble became more audible, all the way until he was cackling loudly; the sounds reverberating throughout the rubber-padded white walls and rang throughout the glass. the cackling soon faltered out and ceased, you felt the hairs on your body stand up as you heard every octave of his maniacal laughter–you'd think that years of case studies and witnessing firsthand from your mentors that dealing with people like him wouldn't be too challenging or disturbing, but this experience proved you to be wrong, so terribly wrong.

as the laughter died down, the corner of the man's smile showed from behind his long, shaggy unkempt wispy hair; and when he turned around to face you, you saw that his eyes were a dark shade, they were bloodshot and crimson, they were deathly, and you knew he was far more dangerous than any other criminal could contend with. the man grimaced and slowly creeped his head around over his shoulder to get a good look at you. his body followed suit and gradually turned to face you, the brown restraints on his white, yet stained, straightjacket made him look both pitiful and dangerous all at once. suddenly, the man slowly got up and wobbled over to you–it was as though he had gone days, maybe weeks, without walking; could he have stayed in that position this whole time before you came to see him?

the man's gaze was bearing into your own, his eyes not leaving yours as his grimace widened; the corners of his smile reaching his ears as he chuckled every now and then in a delusional daze. his chin and cheeks were dotted with stubbles and hints of fuzz and a beard–he had gone days without shaving, either, it seemed. he pressed his forehead against the glass and stared down at you, and only then were you able to understand how big he was; about 200 centimeters and counting, and yet, he was able to be restrained... he was frightening, and he knew you thought that of him.

"...miel..." the sound escaped his lips, the first word he spoke in a long while. you looked up at him in fear and gulped, writing down what you heard. "...w-what?" you asked him, hoping he'd repeat the word. the man's grin widened creepily as he slowly opened his mouth to speak again, and a dribble of saliva dripped down his chin as he stared at you, hungrily, like a starved predator cornering its prey. "miel, mi cariño, it's... honey, sweet as... shocking honey, making me hungry..." he murmured out, hid constant breathing fogging up the glass. you moved your chair back a little and cleared your throat, making miguel press his face against the glass even further as you moved away from him. he thumped his forehead against the glass, making you jolt a little and look at him. he stared at you from underneath his eyelashes and smirked widely.

"don't... don't escape me, mi tesoro... c'mon, it's been... too damn long since i've had such a pretty little thing come here and look so shocking ravishing–" he gushed and mumbled as his breath quickened and his smile got even wider, but seeing as how uncomfortable and tense he made you, he, surprisingly, quit that and moved away a little from the glass. he hung his head in what appeared to be frustration, and mumbled in a hused tone, "ah, quiero arrancarte esa blusa... but i can tell..." he whispered as he sat down closely to the glass and leaned his head forward, looking at you with a sly grin. "you don't like men who are that straightforward, do you?" he asked you as he watched every little move and twitch your body made, sinking in all the details about you as he muttered to himself, twitching as well at your little responsive gestures that said more than words ever could help you articulate the feelings he was giving you right then and there.

he chuckled as he watched you restlessly fidget in your seat, darting your gaze away from him as much as you could. "you're so cute, mi amor... keep that up and i might just really break out of here, i finally have a reason to now that your pretty little face showed up." he said, gazing at you all... lovingly as he smiled the more you stuttered out the next thing you wanted to say. "...there is... literally nothing you'll get out of smooth talking me." you said defiantly as miguel chuckled aloud again, rocking himself back and forth in ecstasy. "you're not only cute, smart, and snarky, but a bad liar too... eso me excita, sabes?" he teased you as he stuck his tongue out, a couple of smuggled piercings on the tip of his tongue gleamed as he did so, making you a little more tense as before. he hummed to himself as he looked at you with an even more sultry, desperate look on his angled face. "you're like an angel... you'll be known as mi angel from now on, okay, mi ángel? keep visiting me more often, mi ángel, i need to be reminded miracles can happen... even to scum like me." he whispered as you looked away from him, making him whimper and beg for you to look at him in spanish and english.

"por favor no me hagas esperar… mírame, mi ángel..." he pleaded with you as he got on his knees and pouted, showing off his lower lip as he gave you such big, sad eyes that tried to convince you to look his way. though he tried to appear less menacing and pathetic, you knew this was just a front of his to get you to do something for him, maybe to get him out? to take his place for him? to... oh, you couldn't even jump to that conclusion, because there's no way that—

"i desperately need you, mi ángel... please, look my way, my little angel... come closer, i need to smell your... your honey-like scent again, it drives me crazy, crazy with love, mi ángel, you can't even imagine..." he begged of you, leaning his forehead against the glass again, sobbing audibly as you sighed. would you look him for a second time? would you kindly let him get a whiff of you again and crave for you? he would never hurt you if you did, of course not; angels aren't meant to be hurt, and you, his darling little angel, would never be hurt around him... he'll do everything to make sure you won't be, and no restraints will ever hold him back from getting his strong, toned arms around your beautiful body, around his little angel, once and for all.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce @oxrchd

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

are you more or less likely to like the percy jackson show if you have adhd?

TL;DR at the bottom

this whole idea came about because i was seeing people complain about the pacing of the show and i was so confused because i thought the pacing was perfect and then i thought maybe it's because i have adhd and so of course i would think the pacing was great and so i ran a poll to look at the results and here are those results

important things to note

a) i have adhd (diagnosed)

b) i study a stem degree

ok here we go

short answer

statistically no, but i disagree (i'll get to it)

longer answer

i did a poll comparing if you have adhd and if you like the show, these were the results (and here so you can see how i wanted people to answer)

(yes i voted, my opinion also counts)(and yes, there are flaws in the design but i only had 12 options and this was mainly about adhd)

and idk about you but looking at those numbers i can see a few things

number 1: most people like the show, 87.8% in fact

and if you take out the people that didn't care, it's 92.9% of people who did care aka a lot

quick stats rundown

for everyone with adhd (thats the first 6 options) 3% didn't like the show

for those with other neurodiversities and not adhd, it was 12%

yeah, thats 4 times higher (it works out at a whole 2 people but again, limits of the poll)

ANYWAY, i ran some statistical tests (don't stress, i don't understand them either, i will not be focussing on them)

first, chi squared (compares expected values for each option with the actual values i got)

yeah that number is small, like very small, like 2.8 quintillionths

but i ran it in R and got a very different number

and oh lookie here that's a p-value about 0.05 and so we must accept the null hypothesis (basically that yeah, that's expected)

which makes NO SENSE but whatever, the computer tells me it's that

enough of chi-squared, i also ran a z-test (i googled what to do and apparently this was the right test, idk what it does ngl)

i didn't run this one in R bc i have no idea how to do that

but the p-value is again, about 0.05 and so accept that there is no significant difference

BUT I DISAGREE

ok i don't disagree with the stats but i disagree that there isn't a difference

it doesn't take a genius to see the difference

3% of people with adhd didn't like the show but 12% of other nd's did like-

come on that has to mean something

so i ran a chi squared test on just the adhd data and...

1.9 octillionths

wha-

so did it in R and got a warning saying it probably wasn't accurate (it's probably the 0) so i ran fishers exact test (idk man thats what i was told to run by the internet) and got this...

so errrrrr yeah

apparently the same goes for the adhd data to which i can kind of get but also dont when

0.6% of people didn't like the show and were diagnosed as an adult but 1.2% didn't like the show and were self-diagnosed, with almost the same number of votes (it works out as a 1 person difference)

and no one who was diagnosed as a child disliked it like WHAT?!?!?!

also no neurotypicals disliked it, love y'all for that /gen

idk, i think the sample size is too small to run accurate tests, that or im doing it wrong which is a very high probability

so whilst statistically, the answer is no, i'm seeing a pattern emerge

but i am a scientist so i cannot say yes or no which SUCKS bc i see a pattern and i want to know MORE but tumblr doesn't have a great mechanism for polls so i can't ask all the questions i want to

TL;DR

the stats say there's no significant difference and so i must concur even if i don't want to

the show was amazing and i'm very excited for season 2 for reasons i don't want to spoil for people who haven't read the book (but go read the books they are just as good)

[gooses-trenchcoat]

y'all the lyrics provided by google for would that i are so wrong what the hell

(this is LONG and EXTREMELY PEDANTIC so feel free to skip now)

here i am, scanning hozier songs to find fanfic titles like the trash little hozier person that i am (affectionate), when i start reading the would that i lyrics

i see this at the end of verse 1

huh, i think. i didn't know that was the line, i thought it was "must be felled for to fight the cold / fretted fire but that was long ago". maybe i'm wrong, after all i have been wrong on at least one occasion before.

i check with genius lyrics. i am not wrong. i go back to google.

i spot not one, not two, but TWELVE other mistakes, not counting repeated lines in the chorus. so here it is: every mistake in google's version of would that i by hozier (lyrics sourced from "musixmatch"). my sources are genius lyrics, and, if i feel like it, i'll get my copy of the cd and check the GENUINE LYRICS printed in the cd cover, which i trust as the ULTIMATE SOURCE

under cotton and calicoes / over canopy dappled long ago

must be felled fore to fight the cold / fretted fire, but that was long ago

and i blink in sight / of your blinding light (this one makes sense, except that SIGHT RHYMES WITH EVERY OTHER LINE)

this one is okay except that first all should be an and or maybe just another oh but definitely not all, because grammar

three lines in one because they made the same mistake twice:

oh but you're good to me / oh you're good to me / oh but you're good to me, baby

now time for the second verse. fun fact: they did not make any mistakes with the third verse, which they make up for by making mistakes in EVERY OTHER LINE OF THE SECOND VERSE PLUS EXTRA

with the roar of the fire / my heart rose to its feet (pay attention to tense, google)

like the ashes of ash / i saw rise in the heat (no, this isn't one of the weird ones)

settled soft and as pure as snow / i fell in love with the fire long ago (honestly this is worse than my dad)

with each love i cut loose / i was never the same (wait for it)

watching still-living roots / be consumed by the flame (yes that's right! a whole line was incorrect!)

i was fixed on you hand of gold / laying waste to my loving long ago

after that there's just the same chorus mistakes again, then the miraculously correct third verse, followed by the extra long mistake riddled chorus, and then it's over

what the hell, google.

[silver-wield]

im the one from before, i've seen the update about the Nomura statement. So it seems they didn't get it wrong in spirit or meaning BUT the decision to implicate "not so pitiable" is like saying it's pitiable but not so much. Compared to "they have a good relationship" which is more direct and doesn't sound 50/50 like they're not so sure. You don't have to be a genius to see that the translation isn't exactly doing the right job of conveying Nomura's statement. Hence why people still hone it in that "she is pitiable" in the comments. Dumb cleriths or not. I've seen it once on discord (under the stars), a member of that shinra archeology stating for example that they're well aware that Cloud DID NOT imply to have feelings for both women, like 0% proof BUT they got to say it and cop out due to not wanting to sound biased on other sides. I suppose they decided onto the 325 version and an implication that doesn't sound as good as " she's not pitiful, she has a good relationship with cloud" because it might sound biased. But in doing so, they're creating more havock than good. Shipping matters or not, they're not helping Tifa's character at all, neither Cloud's. Until they get a clearer canonical confirmation that Cloud is into Tifa and that he isn't into aerith etc. They cannot move pass being 50/50 when pushing out statements and I'd say. Fck them, it's like it's better if they actually just shut up to begin with.

and the people conveying "its stated in the source/website" that there's a LT going on is like sating you lost the part where it was clearly a red herring all along. Words and statements are powerful... Why else would we be so pissed with SENA to begin with. I mean it when I say people have their eyes closed and lack empathy to understand FF7 and it's characters. It's a real shame. I hope moving forward EC and the trilogy or more would completely just put a nail in the coffin in all these. I'm tired of the weekly basis of defending a story that's so easy to comprehend. Sorry, my statement is long, I just wish to convey my disapproval to someone who knows more than me but I as a private person being anonymous is the best I feel like doing it due to my anxiety. Thank you for this opportunity.

They deliberately fucked with the phrasing to alter the meaning and make it more negative than it is. The statement is actually quite positive, but you'd never know it from the way they talk. They're always trying to make Tifa out to be this pitiful figure who "deserves better", even though she's really happy with Cloud and they have a good relationship.

And you'll also notice the only time they ever share anything about Tifa is when they think they can shit on her and Cloud's relationship. There's so many quotes for cloti, but they never include them. They only focus on being negative and trying to inflate their non existent bullship instead.

And when we call for sources they make bullshit claims about copyright. Because a 20+ year old magazine, which was issued in the thousands and we're asking for a snippet of would really piss off SE, who have no affiliation with the company in question, and said company also wouldn't give a shit about a tiny extract being shared when people have in the past shown entire page scans, but sure, y'all hide behind the word "copyright" like we don't know how copyright laws work 🙄

Btw, I'm a copy editor, so I know how copyright laws work for several countries 🤷

[danni-1-graysons-version]

mental health talk, because our department of education needs to take our health into consideration:

y'all, i wrote a three hour physics exam today, and our exam rules require us to sit at our tables an hour before the exam and stay an hour after the exam (which in my opinion is already pushing it wayyy to far, but that's not the point i want to make)

right after my physics exam, i had to write my dramatic arts theory paper. also three hours. that's ten hours of sitting with a half an hour break between the two sessions. eight hours of intense concentration, and let's be honest, a fuck ton of writing.

half an hour is not enough time to regenerate after a five hour sitting period with three hours of pure concentration. i can barely eat a sandwich and have a pee break during that time, nevermind get over how absolutely shit it went with the exam.

now i have to go, write another three hour exam, five hour sitting period and then after that, going home, barely having time to relax because i have to study for Monday's chemistry???

like hello, do i look like a fucking feelingless einstein genius who just doesn't need a break from studying?

i am literally so tired....like i can't deal with this anymore.

and i can't get bad grades, because if i do, there's something -'wrong'- with me, and I'm dragging the school's name throigh the mud. like okay, I'm sorry i didn't get time to study???!

don't get me wrong, i love learning and stuff...but there is a line. you can't completely burn out your students woth homework and studying annd unnecessary three hour classes in betwween and still exoect them to perform well? like fuck off man. id love to see you go through all that.

and then I'm being forced by my family to go places i can't go to becaise i have to study. and then obviouslt I'm considered the bitch in the situation when i say I'm to tired to go??? when i dont smile and im grumpy because IM FUCKING EXHAUSTED!???

how the hell am I supposed to deal with all this shit?? im so fucking tired.

[litcityblues]

Doctor Whoquest Part 9: My Favorite Tennant Season (Maybe)

Martha Jones might be one of my favorite companions of the Nu-Who Era. It's just a damn shame that Freema Agyeman only did one season in the role- but at the same time, that was kind of a genius move on her part, because it leaves you wanting more. She also is studying to be a Doctor and has a big and complicated family she has to deal with ultimately, in the wake of the Master's Year of Dominion Over Earth- which she and her family are amongst the few to remember it happening, she steps away to help them process and deal with the very real trauma of that. It feels like the right choice for her. It feels like a solid way to end the run. It makes sense for the character.

But damn it, I liked her. I wanted to see more of her and if there's ever a chance for them to bring her back in any fashion, I would be totally for it.

She also might have the best debut episode of any companion in Nu-Who. Don't get me wrong The Ponds and 11 rock The Eleventh Hour- that remains my choice for best Doctor debut, but in terms of best companion debut, it's hard to top her first episode, 'Smith and Jones.' The music for this series is absolutely incredible as well-- Murray Gold absolutely was eating his Wheaties here. The I guess, 'Smith and Jones' theme that sort of pops up throughout the series is one of my all-time favorites of the Nu-Who run. (11 has good music as well-- really captures the sense of urgency/epic moments that he has going on, but this perfectly complements the overall series.)

Three Episodes I Liked

'Smith and Jones': Seriously, the best companion debut episode in all of Nu-Who. Not a moment is wasted, the writing is taut and to the point. We meet Martha, we meet her family and its associated drama, we see her going to work to be a Doctor, and then, bam, it starts raining upside down and she's scooped up along with her entire hospital and taken to the Moon where the Judoon (our first time meeting these folks) shake down the place looking for a fugitive which they eventually find. The brilliant part of this episode is when she bumps into the Doctor on the way to work, but then meets him as a patient in the Hospital and seems confused when he doesn't recognize her-- the episode brings that tiny moment full circle at the end when he demonstrates that the TARDIS is, in fact, a time machine and goes and takes off his tie at the start of the episode for her. Just fantastic stuff.

'Human Nature'/'The Family of Blood': Excellent two-part episode where the Doctor has to go undercover to escape the Family of Blood that wants his life force so they won't die. He lands in 1913 and makes himself fully human intending to hide until they die out and gives Martha a list of instructions to follow. Eventually, they catch up with him and the Doctor is brought back-- but doesn't want to go because has has fallen in love with the nurse, Joan. They share a vision of what their life would be like together and the Doctor offers to let her travel in the TARDIS with them, but she refuses. He then gives The Family of Blood exactly what they want.

'Blink': Y'all knew this was going to be on here, right? The debut of The Weeping Angels with Sally Sparrow on the case while the Doctor and Martha are trapped in 1969. Absolute banger of an episode that introduced a shiny new villain and dialed up the creepy to boot.

Two Episodes I Didn't Like

'Gridlock': I get it. The final appearance of the Face of Boe was always going to happen at some point and I can appreciate the importance of the season-long arc here, but... New New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down. It was kind of 'meh' for me.

'Daleks In Manhattan'/'Evolution of the Daleks': Ah, the inevitable appearance of the Daleks. They try something dastardly and new that is immediately foiled by the Doctor and they escape again until next season when they do it all over again. Maybe this makes me a bad Doctor Who fan, but I'm thoroughly uninterested in the Daleks at this point.'

One Episode To Consider:

'The Sound of Drums'/'Last of the Time Lords': John Simm as The Master works really well and they've done a good job throughout Nu-Who casting The Master. This was an epic way to end the season, but it's leaving the Jones family and a few others with memories of a year that gets erased by the end of the episode- a year where the human population is devastated and forced into slavery and there's a lot of trauma to unpack there. It's fascinating to think about-- what did Martha do for that entire year? How did it change her? How did it change her family? And she gets to keep the memories of all that? So many interesting things to consider about this episode.

Overall: Solid, excellent stuff. The Martha Jones season might be my favorite Tennant Season and she ranks right up there as one of my favorite companions. There are more good to excellent episodes in this season than not-so-good lackluster episodes in this season and you really feel that Tennant is inhabiting the role and making it his own at this point.

My Grade: 9/10

[blackhallow]

throwing this out there before leaks tomorrow but i think kenjaku and tengen are either in cahoots or related somehow :///

[alirhi]

10 Sebastian roles as boyfriends

Because... I'm bored and I feel like it. 😂 Probably some spoilers for, like... everything? So yeah... That.

Putting it under here for easy scrolling:

10: Chase Collins

Who doesn't love a goofball? In the first half of the movie, Chase is basically perfect. He's sweet, funny, not all caught up in his ego, and actually pays attention to what the girls around him are saying, not just to what he wants to hear. If not for the whole... it was all an act to get close to Caleb and try to steal his magic thing, Chase would actually be a damn good high school boyfriend. He's adorable and would be a fun date, but he's also only 18 so best not to start making long-term plans lol. Also, y'know... the whole psycho revenge/power grab thing.

9 Jack Benjamin

Y'all. Y'all. Words cannot describe how much I love Jack. Pretty sure I've made this clear. As a person/character in general, he's absolutely in my Top 3 - not just of Sebastian's characters, but any character ever. ❤ But as a boyfriend? Boy's got baggage. It's what makes me so protective of him, but seeing as how he's trapped in the closet thanks to his overbearing homophobic family and the insane expectations heaped on him, as the show left him, he can't handle an honest relationship. He's too easily influenced by all the wrong people, poor babe.

8 Chris (Destroyer)

On paper, undercover cop sounds cool and exciting, but even if you ignore the fact that he, y'know, dies... Chris got in too deep and kinda lost the mission, so to speak. Best case scenario, you're his sexy partner and in on it all with him and end up on the lam for the rest of your lives. Worst case, this man lies for a living, so can you even trust him? And... yeah. The whole dead thing. Chris is hot af but getting involved with him is a recipe for disaster.

7 Ben

Min and Hathor have mercy, I love Ben! He's smart, he's snarky, he's caring and loyal... he's an absolute disaster. He's another one who seems allergic to honesty, until his lying and avoiding nearly kill his girlfriend. Not exactly relationship goals lol. Everything before totally was, though! Ben's adorable, and I love how he stayed up all night to protect his girlfriend (from a ghost/demon thing... with a baseball bat. I said he was smart, not perfect, okay? XD points for effort lol)

6 Mickey Henry

I. LOVE. MICKEY. Oml I love Mickey. He's a spazz and - even more so than Ben - an absolute disaster of a human being, but I love him. Pros for dating Mickey Henry: he's fun, he's carefree, he'll cook for you even though he's kinda bad at it lol, he loves his son and wants to be a good dad, he wants his partner to be happy and to love life as much as he does. Cons, and the reason he's not higher on the list: He's a pushover; easily influenced by the toxic people in his life, and it gets him into a lot of trouble. Being easily influenced by toxic dumpster fire of a human being Chloe almost lost him the partial custody of his son that he barely even had. He's an absolute sweetheart, but he's a complete man-child, and dating him would often feel more like raising him.

5 Frank "Suffer Buddy"

Come on! You know he and Mickey had to be back-to-back - they're practically the same character! 😂 Frank is Mickey... slightly more grown up. He's still a disaster, but he's respectful of boundaries, he's caring, he's funny in a dry, witty way that I just adore, and hoo lordy that man is a giver! 🥴🥵 Honestly, if he didn't smoke and didn't ditch Daphne in the middle of a party hours away from everything familiar to her surrounded by strangers to go do drugs, I'd call Frank perfect. He listened, he respected her wishes, he tried to keep some distance between them when he found out she'd gone on a date with his best friend (it failed utterly and brought us to the "damn that man's good with his mouth" portion of the movie lmao but still)... I don't have a whole lot of experience with men who actually give a shit, okay? So Frank is like a goddamn unicorn to me lmao. But that drug thing... That keeps him at the bottom of the Top 5 for me. Sorry, bb

4 Bucky

I can already hear everyone on here raging at me for placing Bucky so low on this list, but hear me out: I love this man. I love all four iterations of this man. Flirty 40s Bucky was a doll (fun date, not commitment material). Post-POW camp 40s Bucky had a fire to him that set me on fire. The Winter Soldier can choke me any damn day. Unf. And TFATWS Bucky... Oh, lady above, 2023 Bucky is a gem! He's sweet, snarky, and broken. He feels utterly, wretchedly alone in the world, and everyone around him, including his only friend, is telling him to "man up" and "make amends" for shit that was never his fault to begin with, rather than helping him come to terms with all that he's suffered and all that he's survived. Bucky needs and deserves love. A relationship with him would be so solid, if he found the right person... But it would take a fuck ton of work. He needs someone strong, patient, and more stubborn than he is to prod him until he finds a better therapist and actually opens up, and to keep him on track because even good therapy comes with homework. He does have to "do the work," Sam was right about that much, but he was way off base with what that "work" is. Bucky needs help and understanding, and he would be an amazing boyfriend... if he found someone with the strength to help him weather his nightmares and flashbacks, and help pull him out of this PTSD pit he's been in since 1943.

3 Chris Beck

Big brains turn me on, okay? 😂This man is an astronaut and a surgeon! Yes, please! Come here, you sexy genius! He's smart, he's funny - pretty sure Sebastian is incapable of playing anyone who's not delightfully snarky lol. He's pragmatic when he needs to be but there's also nothing he wouldn't do or risk for the ones he loves. This man is husband material and I cannot be convinced otherwise! So why isn't he #1? Cuz of the whole... spending years in space, thing. Super cool job and I'd be his biggest fan on the ground, but god damn, I would miss him while he's away!

2 TJ Hammond

Look, I'm gender fluid and he's a little bit bi 😂😂😂 Let me have my fantasy, okay? TJ's definitely got a lot of shit to work through, but love brings out the best in him. Before that fucking closeted shitbag broke his heart and stomped on it for good measure, TJ was clean and sober for months, he was happy, he was playing piano again, he was pulling himself together. Not only would he be an amazing boyfriend, but his partner would get the extra joy of getting to watch their love and devotion to him be the thing that saves this beautiful man's life. It's not healthy overall to tie your self worth and will to live to a relationship, but if he found the right person who would be there for him through all of life's shit and stick it out, I think he'd be okay. Even after his lowest point and without the support of his family, TJ still had a dream and he still chased it. He's not just the sweetest person to ever grace our screens, but he's ambitious and business-savvy, too. Keep him off drugs and watch this man take over the world, I'm telling you!

So why is TJ only #2? Well, besides the fact that he's like 99% gay and I have no bits he'd be interested in lmao, there's also the fact that this guy owns my heart:

1 Will Franklyn

And not just because we get to see him wet and mostly naked lol. Will is fucking perfect. I would die for this man... because he's already shown that he would die for his love. He almost fucking did, and they weren't even together yet! He's smart and very aware, he's a writer so we'd get to bond/geek out over books together, he's not all full of himself (self-deprecating humor ftw!) and he's willing to help a total stranger despite actual mortal peril, just because it's the right thing to do. Fierce, intelligent, sassy, strong-willed, and a flawless moral compass? YESYESYESYESYES! Forget boyfriend - let me MARRY this man! 😍🥰

[rocksandrobots]

Phantoms of the Past: Ch. 5 - Best friends, Boyfriends, and Barons Part 1

"Hey Miss Itamae! Ready for a whole new school year? Hee...hee...eeeh.... yeah, fine." Hiro gave up trying to make small talk with the lunch lady as she unceremoniously slopped meatloaf onto his plate.

Today was the first day of the fall semester and the start of Hiro's second year at SFIT.  It felt odd to him, to look back and realize just how much time had passed; how much things had changed during the previous year.

A year ago, today, he had been attending Tadashi's funeral and now he was going about his life as if everything was normal. Well, almost normal. He was also moonlighting as a superhero, adopting an out of time teenager as his new big brother, and befriending deadly robots.

Life was weird.

Of course it wasn't as if he could ignore his loss completely. He had noticed the flowers and cards placed at the foot of Tadashi's memorial over by the exhibition hall. People still remembered that his brother had died a hero. Folks that he didn't even know had left their condolences today, though most of the gifts were from Tadashi's teachers and friends.

Hiro had particularly noticed a painting Honey Lemon had left, of her, Tadashi, and the rest of their friends. He also spotted Gogo sitting out there early that morning, lighting a candle in his brother's memory. He had given her her space, choosing not to interrupt. Gogo and Tadashi had been especially close.

Hiro remembered how excited his brother had been when Gogo finally agreed to go out with him. Tadashi had hurried about their bedroom, a couple of days before the fire, fretting over where to take her on their first date. A date that they had never gotten to go on. At the time Hiro had teased him relentlessly, never passing up the chance to deflate his brother's ego. Now it was just another bittersweet memory to look back on.

Fred abruptly snapped him out of his mournful reflection. "Steve." was all he said as he grabbed Hiro by the shoulders.

"Steve? Uh, my name is Hiro, remember Fred?"

"No, no, no, Steve was the name of the ninja robot that Trina found. She said he was held in a warehouse downtown, along with all the other ninjas. Don't you see, that's our big break! We find this warehouse and then we can track down the mysterious bosu!"

Hiro wearily placed his tray down on the table and took a seat next to Wasabi.

"Fred, it's the first day of school. Can't this wait for later?"

"But-"

"Hiro's right Fred," Wasabi interrupted, "Just because you have all the time in the world to play superhero doesn't mean that we do. We still got our own lives to take care of."

Fred looked hurt at that. "I'm not playing! This is important work. We have a city to protect and this crime boss is just going to keep coming after us if we don't figure out how to stop them."  

Wasabi rolled his eyes. "Then you just go on and do that. In the meantime the rest of us have class to attend. I'm heading early to set up for my first lab."

"But labs won't open for like another hour." Hiro pointed out, confused. "They're still cleaning up from the robot attacks last week."

"Ah, he just wants to get there early so that he can see his boyfriend again." Fred complained.

"Sam's not my boyfriend. He's just a colleague, and at least I'm doing something other than obsess over superheroing." And with that Wasabi stormed off, while Fred slouched into the cafeteria chair with a huff.

"Listen, Fred, why don't you go on patrol with Minimax for a while. I'll help you track down this warehouse after school is over with." Hiro said.

"Okay," Fred reluctantly agreed, "but I'm not 'obsessing'."

"I know Fred, but the rest of us also have school to worry about. We just don't have the same amount of free time as you do."

"I know." Fred sighed before walking off.

                                                ---------------------------

"Sorry Hiro, but we're kind of busy right now." Honey Lemon regretfully informed her friends.

Fred and Hiro had met up after school as promised. Wasabi had declined to join them on their quest and so they had decided to recruit the girls instead. Though this also seemed to be a fruitless endeavor.

"Yeah, we're kind of in the middle of something." Gogo finished as she leaned back in a reclining chair and placed two cucumber slices over her eyes.

They had found the girls at a spa. Honey Lemon sat next to Gogo with curlers in her hair, and they apparently weren't the only ones out having a beauty day.

"Can't you see we're having some girl time?" Karmi asked, annoyed, as she examined her nails.

"Yeah, Hiro, go take your weird superhero hobby elsewhere?" Megan added.

"It's not weird!" Fred insisted.

"If this is supposed to be a girls only event, then why is he here?" Hiro said, pointing to Varian, who sat next to Megan.

"Uh, getting a manicure obviously." Varian rolled his eyes and then leaned over to show Carol, who was beside him, two bottles of nail polish. "Do you think I should go with the midnight blue or just stick with black?"

"Hmmm... I think either would be nice," she replied.

"Ooooh, have you tried the seaweed wrap they have here? It's great." Fred chimed in.

Hiro rolled his eyes, "Okay, so what are you two doing after this? Could you take up patrol tonight?"

"Nope." Gogo said.

"I promised my brother Carlos that I would help him move into his new dorm room. He starts at UCLA this week and Gogo's offered to drive me there. We won't be back till tomorrow morning." Honey Lemon explained.

"Okay, well, we'll just-"

"Alright, I'm ready." A voice called out, interrupting him.

Trina walked out from behind a door at the back of the spa. Her bulky gigantic metal body was gone and in its place was the frame of a young woman, dressed in a t-shirt, pants, and a cropped jacket. She looked very much the same as the day Hiro had first met her, at the bot fights. Only this time her hair had been cut and styled into a short mohawk and dyed a light purple.

"What do you guys think?" She asked as she twirled around.

Everyone shouted encouragements to her, and Varian cheekily whistled.

"You look nice, Trina." Hiro complimented.

Trina snorted and rolled her eyes. "In your dreams, Hiro." She said, leaving the teenage genius confused by what he had said wrong.

Ignoring him, Trina walked over to the rest of the girls, "Thanks for the clothes... and for everything else." She sheepishly added.

"Hey, no problem." Megan replied. "They look good on you."

"Yeah, and if you need anything else just ask." Karmi added.

"Not to mention it's always fun to have a spa day," Carol piped in. "This was a good idea Varian, thanks for inviting me along."

"Sure thing. When Trina said she wanted help with finding a new wardrobe, I figured all of you would like to go shopping too.... and also y'all know more about clothes than I do."

"Hey, Trina," Fred interjected, "that warehouse where you foun- I mean, met 'Steve', do you happen to remember where it was located?"

Trina gave Fred a frown.

"Oooh, who's Steve?" Karmi asked, happy to gossip, "Is that your boyfriend Trina?"

"No." She said, "The place you're looking for is over in Good Luck Alley, next to Louie's."

"It must've been a bad breakup." Karmi whispered into Honey Lemon's ear, she wasn't very good at keeping her voice down.

"Yeah… he kind of... broke alright." Honey Lemon nervously added, unsure what to say.

"Uh, yeah, well thanks for the tip Trina. We'll be going now, bye." Hiro said as he hurried Fred out the door. He had had enough of awkward conversations and makeovers.

                                               ---------------------------

"Fred, wouldn't it be better if we brought our robots along at least?" Hiro whispered.

"You want to sneak around an abandoned warehouse with those two?" Fred whispered back, "I love him, but Minimax doesn't know how to be quiet, like at all."

Hiro sighed, Fred had a point. Baymax also wasn't the best at stealth missions. Hiro slid into the alleyway and peered through a dirty window. He couldn't shake the sense of deja vu as he remembered how he and the robotic nurse had tracked down his missing microbots a year ago at a similar warehouse. They had both been nearly killed by Callaghan when the villain had caught them snooping around. He would prefer to avoid such a scenario again.

"It doesn't look like anyone is here." He said.

"See any ninja robots?" Fred asked as he also pushed by to get a look, pressing his nose against the glass.

"No… Fred, this may be a dead end. Trina already raided the place and no doubt this Bosu would have abandoned the hideout if it was compromised."

Fred pouted, "Maybe… Buuuut, we could always man a stake-out and find out for sure!"

"Fred, I have homework to do. Maybe some oth-"

"Oh please! Just for an hour, or two? Please, please, please? Pretty please? I'll do your homework for you."

"I don't want you doing my homework."

"Okay, chores then; I'll wash Varian's dirty socks and underwear for a… a week… no, a month! Come on, I know how much you hate doing laundry."

Hiro sighed and watched his friend crawl on his knees and beg. "Does it really mean that much to you?"

"Yeeeesss."

"Okay, and no, you don't have to do the laundry either."

Hiro turned to walk out of the alley and Fred got up and followed him.

"That's good, cause I don't actually know how to wash clothes. Usually, Heathcliff does all the laundry. Last time I tried to, I just flooded the washroom."

"Do you have any survival skills? Like at all?"

"Nope. Unless it's kicking bad guys' butts! Ooh, hey, we can host the stake-out at Louie's across the street. I'm starved."

                                               ---------------------------

Hiro and Fred took up a window booth inside the restaurant. The establishment had recovered from the police raid from a few months back and was now serving food as usual; though Hiro had already spotted the advertisement for the next upcoming 'bot fight.

A couple of hours past and they had both eaten their meals, plus dessert, along with Fred going back for seconds. Now they were both nursing a couple of cups of coffee, though Hiro's was going cold; it wasn't great coffee.

"Fred…"

"Yeah."

"It's been three hours now."

"I know."

"No one's showed up."

"Not yet."

"Look it's been… 'fun', but I'm going home now."

Hiro got up to leave but Fred grabbed him by the sleeve.

"Oh but… uhh… we haven't even tried the uh… hot dog sushi special. I hear it's really good."

Hiro leaned his head back slowly and closed his eyes in frustration. He didn't want to snap at Fred, really he didn't, but he was quickly losing his patience.

"Fred… no one is coming. Let's just call it a night and try again some other time. Okay." And with that he yanked his hand away and began to walk off.

Fred didn't follow. Instead he sat in the booth, his eyes downcast, staring blankly at nothing. It wasn't his usual pout either. It was something else. Some deeper sadness that few saw from the usually optimistic teen.

Hiro began to worry. He walked back, and stood there waiting for Fred to jump back up all excited again for his return, only he didn't.

"Fred, what's wrong?"

Fred sighed but couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Look, I know that this superhero business is important to you, so much so that you'll probably wind up making a career out of it, which is great, but the rest of us are not going to be doing this for the rest of our lives. We also have to keep up with our studies, chores, our jobs, and what little shred of a social life we have."

"That's not it… I mean yeah, it's a part of it, but that's not why I asked you to come along."

Fred finally looked Hiro in the eye and tears threatened to spill.

"I just miss my best friend, okay."

Hiro looked at him confused.

"I didn't want to say anything, cause… cause he's your brother and I didn't think you'd want to be reminded about him being gone any more than you already have… but today has just been really hard… remembering what happened… I just thought getting out and doing something fun, getting both our minds off everything, might be better than just… just being alone. You know? Especially today."

Fred didn't even have to say Tadashi's name for Hiro to know who he was talking about.

Hiro sighed and slumped back down into the booth.

"I'm sorry…. I… I guess I just… I don't know. I didn't think...."

"No… no, don't. Of course you didn't think. I mean who wants to be reminded of that. The whole idea was to not think about it. And I just ruined it all by bringing it up. Gah…. I'm so sorry."

Fred put his arms over his head and brought his knees up to his chest as if trying to make himself as physically small as he felt. Hiro just had to laugh at the sight in spite of himself.

"It's okay Fred. You're not going to upset me just by talking about Tadashi."

Fred peaked his head out from between his arms. "I'm not?"

"No. I mean he was your friend too."

"My best friend! Man, Tadashi and I, we got up to all sorts of trouble. He was always down for anything. I mean, did he tell you about the time we crashed my cousin's bar mitzvah? As in, we literally crashed. He drove the sport's car into the buffet table by mistake… We couldn't find the parking and then there was this wet patch in the parking lot and we skidded… Oh and then there was the time Mole dared us to a drag race using scooters and Tadshi had the idea to attach rockets to mine and I went flying.. I tell ya, man, Mole wouldn't live it down for a whole week after. He kept demanding a rematch, but I mean it was fair. He was using his butler to ride for him in his place."

Hiro could barely contain his laughter, "Wait… wait… you and Tadashi did all this?"

"Yeah."

"Why have I never heard of any of this before?"

"I don't know, but he's the whole reason why I got the mascot job in the first place. I knew I could never get into the school myself, but I thought we could hang out together more if I went. He's also the one that introduced me to everybody else."

"Then how did you two meet?"

"Oh at the grocery store."

Fred said this as if it was the most obvious of explanations but Hiro looked as confused as ever. So Fred continued on.

"He was there getting chewing gum and I was buying a shopping cart. Like an actual shopping cart."

"Why?"

"Yeah that's what he asked too. So I told him, 'I'm going to ride down Dead Man's Hill in one.' And he said, 'Dude, that's so rad. You're totally going to die.' And I said, 'Yeah, I know. You wanna join?' And he did. We rode all the way down from the top of Lumbar Street to the docks… and landed right in the bay. It was awesome! We screamed our heads off the whole time. It was so awesome, in fact, that we walked back to the store and bought another cart just to do it again. That was back when we were both still in high school, and we've been best buds ever since. You know… until…"

Hiro looked at Fred sadly. There so much about his brother that hadn't known about, hadn't even thought to ask. What else had Tadashi not shared with him? Probably a lot, I mean why tell your kid brother about your social life? And there's no way that he'd have brought those crazy stunts up around Aunt Cass.

"I never knew any of that… Those are some really cool stories. Thanks for sharing them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and you know, you don't have to drag me on some superheroing mission just to hang out and talk."

Fred looked guilty at that.

"I… I know… but it's like what you and Wasabi have been saying. Everyone else has something… something to motivate them, and y'all all do all these really cool things and I'm… I'm just me. I don't really have anything but superheroing. Unless you just need someone to make a mess."

"That's not true. Fred, you're great at a lot of things. You could go to school or get a job, if you wanted to. I just thought superheroing was all you wanted."

"Hiro, I can't even do laundry without messing up. I mean all you do is throw the clothes into a machine and push a button, and yet somehow I managed to screw even that up. All I know is comic books, and superheroing, and I'm not even the best at that! What would I even go to college for? I can't… I'm not a genius. I'm not a businessman. I'm not an accountant, or an artist, or an athlete. I'm not anything. I've no talent. I'm not even good at being rich. I've never fit in with the socialite crowd."

"Fred."

"Yeah?"

"You're good at being a friend, and if I have to sit here list off everything else you're good at then we'd be here for another three hours or more. So how about we head home and tomorrow I'll show you how to work a washing machine, and you can teach me how a stake-out is supposed to really go cause we're not getting anywhere here."

"Or are we?"

"What do you mean?"

Fred was no longer looking at Hiro but past him. He pointed to the window behind Hiro, and Hiro turned around to see for himself.

An elderly gentleman, dressed in an old fashioned military outfit, complete with a monocle, was entering the warehouse. He had a giant mechanical arm and a steam boiler strapped to his back.

"Baron Von Steamer."

                                               ---------------------------

Fred and Hiro found themselves standing in the alley peering through the warehouse's dirty windows for a second time that day. They saw Baron Von Steamer stomping around inside. He seemed irritated as he grumbled to himself and knocked boxes out of the way, as if searching for something.

"What's he doing?" Fred loudly whispered.

Just then Steamer found what he was looking for, a tea cup. He poured himself a cup out of a teapot he had placed on an old fashioned stove that was hidden towards the back and then sat down on top of a crate to sip his drink.

"It must be 'tea time' for him." Hiro said dryly.

Fred narrowed his eyes, "I bet he's just hatching his next nefarious scheme. Planning on how to take us and the city down. What do you think he wants with portals?"  

Just then Steamer stood up and ruefully kicked away a busted up robot that had fallen out of a storage crate in his previous hunt for the tea cup.

"I don't think Steamer is our guy." Hiro said, "He hates modern technology, so why would he build ninja robots? Also, like you said, what would he want with portals? All he's after is your dad, and so far the Bosu hasn't gone after Boss Awesome yet."

"But they might. Remember what Roddy said? That Kensei guy used to be active during Dad's heyday but never got caught. What if, it's because Steamer had two villain identities!"

"That seems like a stretch."

"Okay, well, what if Steamer works for this Bosu? Like Sue and Sparkles?"

"That's more plausible, I guess."

Hiro turned to peer through the window again, but Streamer was gone.

'Wait, where did he go?'

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A pair of interlopers." A curt British voice  came from behind them.

Steamer must have noticed them and snuck around the back, cutting them off.

Hiro grabbed his phone in order to call his super suit, but Von Steamer nabbed his hand and yanked him off the ground, causing him to lose hold of his phone.

Fred was just as unfortunate, as Steamer held him in a choke hold in his metal arm.

"Waaaait," Steamer said as he eyed them both up closely, peering at them through his oversized monocle, "I know you two. You're friends of Boss Awesome's baby child!"

"I am Boss Awesome's baby child!" Fred protested before Von Steamer gave him a hard squeeze with his cyborg arm. Fred wheezed in pain.

Hiro reacted quickly and kicked the steampunk baron in the shins.

Von Steamer howled in pain and dropped Hiro in surprise, though he managed to keep his grip on Fred. He also had stepped on Hiro's phone while nursing his injured leg.

Hiro ducked and ran as Steamer regained his senses and pulled out a brass gun that was connected to the boiler on his back with a hose. He pulled the trigger and scalding steam shot out. Hiro ducked again to avoid it.

As he ran out of the alley way he heard Steamer shouting after him, "Yes, run back to Boss Awesome little one. Tell his baby child I have their friend, and either he, or they, must show up to face me or else!"

Hiro spared a glace backwards and saw Baron Von Steamer dragging Fred back into the warehouse.

"Fred!"

"Hiro!" Fred called out to him before being pulled into the darkness.

Hiro panicked. What could he do? Finally, he decided that getting help was the best option. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him, fighting back his worry.

[dretadel]

The Sound of the Mind

"Hey Sam, you ready to go?"

"Yeah." I shook my head and smiled up at Nina, whose brow was furrowed.

"Are you sure? If you have a headache or anything, we've got some Ad--"

"I'm fine, Nina, but thanks." Our crew's medic had been flitting around, seeing if everyone was alright before takeoff, but by Hermes she could stand to leave it be. I didn't blame her, though; everyone's nervous on their first takeoff. She skittered over to Nick, our ship engineer.

"So how does FTL work?"

"I don't really know how to explain it without sitting down with you for hours. The best I can do right now is that when we go faster than light, we sort of go into an alternate realm of energy, where some of our laws of physics are inverted. It's like going straight along a right angle. It's not possible by definition, but under different laws of physics it's quite possible."

"…what the fuck?" Nina shook her head. 

"Guys, we're about to go into FTL," Kyle said over the intercom. "Y'all should go into cryo now."

"Oh Captain, my Captain, rise up and hear the bells" Nick muttered.

"What?"

"It's a reference," he said, looking at me. "Poem by Walt Whitman." His eyes dipped lower, and I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Hey! My eyes are up here, genius." Nick flushed and practically sprinted out of the room, presumably to cryo where he could literally sleep away his embarrassment.

"Men," I muttered to myself.

"You know he has a thing for you, right?" Nina asked me.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I like him looking at my boobs." I sighed. "Don't breathe a word about this, but I kinda have a thing for him, too." Nina clapped a hand to her mouth. "I mean it. Not. One. Word. I'll tell him after we get back to Earth." She lowered her hand, but she looked like she was about to jump right through the roof of the ship. "I'm heading off to cryo," I said, and walked away before she could ask any questions.

When I got to the cryo room, Nick and Kyle had already gone under. I sighed, looking at the frosted glass tubes, and went to my own. I took the syringe, stuck it in my arm, and pushed the plunger. As I got drowsy, I pulled down the top of the tube, keyed in the combination, and felt the chill of cryo just before I lost consciousness.

…

Waking up after cryo is always a haze. I'm not sure why, but I think it's something to do with the brain cells needing time to fully unfreeze. Nina would know, but I never got around to asking her. My first clear memory after landing and waking up from cryo is looking at Ludwig's readings of the moon we were trying to set up a base on.

"Uh… that shouldn't be possible."

"What?" Kyle sidled up beside me.

"Look at the moon's readings. There's no atmosphere, but there's movement there that Ludwig is picking up as fauna." I bent closer to the monitor. "Just one, and pretty large. We should get down there and check it out."

"Woah, wait a second. You see a big animal on a moon and your first thought is 'hey, let's get close to it?' Maybe Ludwig is bugging out?"

"No way." My hand jittered, and I nearly jumped out of my seat. "There's no way we're passing this up. This could be intelligent life, Kyle! We can't risk ignoring this!"

"She's right." Nick walked up beside her. "If what Ludwig sees and what we think conflict, it might be that they have advanced technology to make up for no atmosphere. Besides, we both know the likelihood of Ludwig bugging out is almost nothing."

"Okay, say he's not. How do we know it's worth the risk?"

"It's worth it," Nick said.

"Since when were you an expert on xenos?" Kyle snapped at him.

"Since never, but I am and have been for years." Kyle turned to face me, face like thunder, but I didn't back down. "Kyle, this is literally why I'm here. I know how to handle xenos. We'll be fine."

He was silent for a moment. "Ugh, fine. If this goes wrong, it's on your heads."

…

"God, I hate this." Nina muttered from her exosuit.

"Well, nobody said it would be pleasant," Nick said. He looked at home in his own exosuit. Hell, he probably spent just as much time wearing it as not, being a ship mechanic. The thin layer of dark grey dust that covered the moon was kicked up by our footprints, sometimes making it difficult to see behind us.

"Ludwig, how close are we to the fauna?" Kyle barked.

"The fauna is 93 meters ahead of you."

As we crested the hill, we saw what had no business being there, and yet it was: a xeno, and an animal xeno at that. I raised my hand for the others to halt, and we studied the creature. 

It was black, but not a sort of black that was at all reflective. The sun that illuminated the landscape so well simply sank into the creature's exoskeleton. I would've thought it was just an oddly-shaped shadow if it weren't for the cracks that webbed its body, sickly grey and converging near what I assumed was its head. Like an old man, its body shook as it turned to us. It has three bright green orbs that I assumed were eyes, but I couldn't be sure. It was quadrupedal, standing on four shaking limbs that ended with what looked like human hands, but with two thumbs and five other fingers. As its head turned to us, a seam split open in its mouth, revealing rows of sharp teeth as its bony tail began to lash from side to side.

"Uh, Sam, we should probably get out of here." Nina's voice was small, but I didn't even turn my head. Oh Hermes, how I wish I had turned my head.

"Shh! We've never seen anything like this!" I didn't take my eyes off the creature as it stumbled towards us. "Ludwig, are you recording this?"

"Yes," Ludwig's unaffected voice came through my helmet. "I've been recording since the moment you set foot off ship."

"Good." The xeno crouched, its back legs cracking into more sickly grey as its muscles tensed.

"Uh, guys, get out your guns--"

The xeno lunged at us, long black claws emerging from the tips of its digits. Kyle shouted as they tore through his suit like paper, cutting his body in half. It wasted no time grabbing his head and ripping it off. The rest of us barely had time to react before it was upon Nina, tearing off her limbs one by one before picking up her head and torso by the neck and throwing her into the chasm beyond. I froze as it turned to me, hoping desperately that it wouldn't notice me as long as I stayed still. 

Its body seized up, and it started to vibrate. What the hell is it doing? I thought. I didn't have long to wonder, though, as it suddenly spewed black goo right at my face. It ate through my visor like a powerful acid and went directly into my mouth. I instinctively went to spit it out, but it slipped down my throat despite my efforts, almost as if it were trying to while the suit's failsafe formed a mesh over the melted visor. I felt something piercing in my chest, and I fell to my knees, crying out as it intensified. In an instant, Nick was there, pulling me up and dragging me away from the xeno. I felt the explosion an instant before I heard it, and Nick was thrown on top of me as we both fell face-first onto the ground. For a moment, Nick was silent, and I shuddered despite his dead weight on top of me. Hermes, no. He can't be dead, too. We can't die like this. Then he coughed, and I nearly wept. First things first, though: we had to get back to the ship. I rolled him off me, and as he hit the ground he spasmed and screamed. I looked up for the xeno, but all I saw was a puddle of sickly grey ooze and black fragments of what I presumed to be pieces of the xeno's exoskeleton. How it exploded, I didn't know and didn't care, but I wasn't about to complain. 

"Come on, Nick, you're not gonna die on me now," I hissed. I grabbed his arm, hooked it around my neck, and pulled him up. He groaned, which I took to be an improvement over screaming, and I started pulling him to the ship. Thank Hermes for the moon's reduced gravity compared to Earth's, or I would've never been able to pick him up. As it stood, I was still barely able to drag us both to the ship. I felt a strange weight in my chest, but dismissed it as an aftereffect of both the explosion and NIck landing directly on top of me.

"Sam… you remember home, right?" His speech was slurred, but when I looked over, his eyes were bright.

"Yeah, Nick, I remember home. We're gonna get home, alright? We gotta get to the ship first though, and then the medbay."

"I know that." His voice was getting stronger. "I'm just a little bit out of it. Having half your crew being slaughtered in front of you will do that to ya." He giggled, but his breath was shaky.

"Just focus on moving, Nick. We're almost there." Indeed, I could see the top of our ship as we crested the hill. "Look, there's our ship. We just have to go down and board it." Going downhill proved a more difficult task than expected, however. Several times, Nick's weight almost sent the both of us tumbling down the hill, and only when he started to support himself a bit did it become manageable. After a few minutes, we reached the ship and boarded it. "Alright, Nick, let's get to the medbay and we'll take a look at you. Come on, now." It seemed like he'd regained some strength, as he seemed to walk mostly without my assistance. As we entered the sterile white room, he actually shook my arm off, stumbled straight for the operating table, and collapsed on top of it.

"Hermes, that was awful." He began releasing the locks that kept his suit on, letting loose pieces simply fall off him. "I can't stand to have this on for another second. Could you help me take the back off? If I turn around I may just lose it."

"Yeah, sure." I went over, undid the clasps and locks, pulled his backpiece off, and gasped.

His back was scored with rock and bone, embedded into his flesh. Blood oozed from some of his wounds, some of which were so deep I could barely tell anything was in them at all. The backpiece clattered to the floor, and Nick looked back at me. "Everything alright, Sam?"

"You have bits of rock and bone embedded in your body," I told Nick, keeping my voice level. "Before we can try to close any of your wounds, we're going to need to get them out or they could cause an infection." I picked up a nearby syringe, put the needle in an airtight bottle, and drew out some of the liquid.

"Uh, what's that?" Nick asked, eyeing the syringe in my hand.

"It's a numbing agent. When I inject it, that area is going to go numb and you'll barely feel anything. Normally I'd have you put under anesthesia, but then we'd need at least another person to manage the complexities, and--" my voice broke. Nina would've known what to do, but we had to make do with me. I couldn't afford to be distracted. "Well, you know. I'm not a professional medic, but I've got some basic medical training and I know that we can't risk you getting infected with a xeno microorganism."

Nick clenched his jaw and nodded. "Just get it going, Sam." 

I walked over to him, lined up the needle, and injected the numbing agent into a large wound in his back, where a fragment was buried especially deeply. He gasped as the needle entered him, but otherwise didn't move a muscle. After a few moments, I poked him. "Feel anything?"

"No."

"Good." I picked up the forceps and angled them towards the wound. "Now, I said you'll barely feel anything. You won't feel anything from the part I injected the numbing agent into, but you're going to feel a little bit of tugging in the surrounding area as I try to get the fragments out. It shouldn't hurt, but if it does, just tell me and I'll stop." He grunted, and I took that as permission to go in. I couldn't see well, but as I slowly moved the forceps, they hit something hard. I pulled them out slightly, moved them to the side, and gripped the bit of bone.

"Agh, Jesus fuck!" Nick shouted, and I froze. "No, keep going. Just feels weird as hell."

"I'm going to yank it out now. It might hurt as I yank it out because it's so deep, but don't tense up or your flesh will grip it and it might stab you in a new spot." Without any more warning, I yanked it out, and Nick jolted. I looked at the bit of bone, and my vision tunneled on it.

It wasn't bone at all, or at least not any kind of bone I'd ever seen before. It was a few inches long and blacker than anything I'd ever seen, with no reflection from the lights in the room. When I squeezed it, it had no give, but I felt… satisfaction? Suddenly, the events of the day started catching up to me, and I felt ravenous. I looked over at Nick's wound, which was weeping blood, and before I knew what I was doing, I swiped my finger over his wound. Blood sticking to my finger, I put it in my mouth.

Hunger exploded through me, permeating my body. My heart started pounding in my ears, and I felt like a balloon was inflating in my chest. I reached over to the counter, grabbed the scalpel, and popped the lid off. What the hell am I doing? I thought, and I went to stop, but my body didn't respond. Some presence in my mind refused to let me stop. I lunged for Nick and stabbed him in the back, and he screamed. I stabbed him again, and again, and again.

"What the fuck, Sam?" He struggled against his restraints, and he actually managed to tear one of his leg restraints. My mind demanded that I stop, but some piece of it was anxious that he'd get out before I could finish him off. I stabbed him faster, deeper, before finally stabbing him in the back of the neck. With a strangled gasp, he went still. I undid his restraints, but I bumped into the gurney, tipping it over and dumping Nick's body onto the floor. I rushed to him, any compulsion to hurt him gone. When I saw his face, I froze.

His eyes were right on me. I stepped to the side, and they followed me. Brain stem, I thought blankly. He's paralyzed from the neck down. He's only got a few seconds, but he's still alive. His pupils dilated, and his cheeks contracted. His eyes bored into me, and I could see the panic and betrayal in them. One last flutter of his eyelids, and his eyes relaxed. Before I could stop myself, I ran over and started licking the blood oozing from his wounds. Pleasure burned its way through my veins, but I needed more. More sustenance, or the Vessel shall not survive the transformation. I went to take a bite from Nick's corpse, and at that moment I shrieked, finally regaining control over my body.

I staggered backward, blood dripping from my hands. I doubled over and vomited red, and even through my horror I felt a foreign delight. What's happening to me? I thought, then muttered it aloud. For a moment, I wasn't there anymore, but back on that dead moon where that xeno had spat its black goo into my mouth, which slipped down my throat. "No," I whispered. The image came back, more intense this time. Then the xeno made a motion I could only describe as beckoning, and pain burst through me. I looked down, and my skin was mottled with black. Against my will, I touched it, and the black parts were hard and unyielding. "NO!" I shouted, and I was back in the ship. I felt movement deep within my chest, and I shuddered.

For a moment, I went still. Then, independent of my control, my body walked over to Nick, knelt down, and tore off a hunk of his flesh. "No," I tried to say, but nothing changed. My hand lifted the hunk of flesh to my mouth, and I tasted the piece of my friend. Every bit of my consciousness rebelled, but only after my body began to chew did my resolve strengthen. I lurched backward, spat out the piece of Nick, and began shaking uncontrollably. I felt a yearning for his flesh, a desire as delightful as it was sickening. I would have vomited if I'd had anything left in me. Then, something shifted.

Impossible. I tore open my skinsuit, and the skin above my breasts shifted again before going still. It's inside of me. I shuddered, and when the Presence tried to make my body move, I fought it with everything I had, falling to the ground and yelling as I hit the cold metal.

The Presence roared, and my mind was filled with a cacophony of thoughts. Memories, desires, relationships, and above it all, the confusion of my body. I banged my hand on the terminal as I raged against them, those who dared to call themselves Itanwrai but were nothing but dirt, who banished me to that dead rock for my experiments. Then, movement! Insects though they were to me, one of them would be my vessel to return in glory. Come to me, my glorious vessel! Come to me, and become me! But at the forefront of my mind was a thought at the forefront of the Presence's mind.

The Presence should've been able to control my body, but it wasn't able to make sense of it for one reason: The Presence could not hear in its original body. Its species had never had anything resembling ears. In spite of the torrent of impressions from the Presence and the pounding in my head that came from it, I smirked.

"Hearing's a bitch, isn't it?" I screamed, and I felt it shudder within me as it reacted to the sound of my voice. Strange! Wrongform! I screamed louder, and I'm sure if it was able to it would have screamed as well, but all I was met with was a rage so intense I instinctively went to curl into a ball before I realized that I would essentially be cradling my body's intruder. I jerked into a standing position, arching my back like I was being yanked forward. Distantly, I could hear the headset crackle.

Noise.

I rushed to the control room, threw on the headset, and turned up the volume as loud as it would go. "--Repeat, is anyone there? Ludwig, is the crew in--"

"I'm here, I'm here!" I shouted, and the Presence quivered.

"Kordesky? What's your sta--"

"No time, no time!" I shuddered as the Presence began a new assault on my nervous system. "Look, I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain, but I need you to play the loudest noise you can into the mic right now."

"What in the blazes--"

"Did you hear me? I could die or worse, and the only thing that can stop it is sound. The louder, the better. Send it through, now!" A moment of silence, so deep that my arm went to take off the headset before I realized what was going on and jerked it downward. Then a wave of static came through and the Presence roared in my mind as it tried to bear the sound. A moment longer, and I felt its presence withdraw from my mind, though the weight in my chest told me it was still there. Now barely able to concentrate, I set the course to return to the Pluto base. There, Ludwig could do the rest. "Ludwig… as acting captain, I order you to short out the security cameras and delete all footage of the last two hours. Overwrite it with useless data. After that, forget we had this conversation."

"Understood, Captain Kordesky. Shorting and overwriting now."

"Thank you…" I managed to get out before I slumped over, the sound of white noise ringing in my ears.

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When I came to, the first thing I thought was damn, I didn't need my alarm clock this time. Indeed, I was surrounded by blissful quiet. I rolled my shoulders, glad for not having to jerk for my alarm clock for it to be silent.

Silent.

I bolted upright. I looked around, desperate to find something to emit noise, but all I could see were plain white walls and fluorescent lights. A door handle caught my eye, but before I could get up to open it, the door opened and a man walked in.

"Good morning, Sam. My name is Christopher Brown. I have a few questions for you on what happened during your expedition."

"Only a few?" I snorted. "If I were you, I'd have more than just a few." Without warning, I felt the Presence in my mind again, and before I could try to fight it off it took over. 

I don't remember what went on during the questioning, or how the Presence managed to answer its way through it. All I know is that as a result, I'm on paid leave and whenever people look at me, they look with pity and not fear. I can only guess the Presence had sifted through my mind to find out everything it could about humanity and how to deal with them.

Sound no longer holds the power it once did. What once produced rage now produces irritation, and what once produced irritation now produces no reaction. Such is the nature of life: adapt, or terminate. I wish it were otherwise, but I can't say I'm surprised that the Presence chose to adapt. As sound grew less effective, I bought a magnum handgun with the intent of using it on myself. I hold it in my hand now, but I can't bring myself to pull the trigger. This thing, this Presence… it stops me when I think about it. Or is it my own fear? I don't know, not anymore. It can't be beaten. My skin is mottled black, and I haven't left my house for days. It's no longer a question of if I'll be transformed, but a question of when. I'll become its Vessel, the harbinger of wonders unheard of.  All life, now and forevermore, will  know our name. 

I am emptied of fear. The Presence, though I now know it is more than a mere Presence, has told me what to do. I shall board another ship, with another crew, and kill them. It is regrettable, but sacrifices must be made. We will pilot the ship back to its homeworld, returning in wonder and glory. All will kneel before us, for those who do not will be broken. Hear us, humanity! Hear us, Itanwrai! Our name is Sl'kafrai, your new God. 

[sweetescapeartist]

MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 72 REVIEW... 😒

Hey there... Here comes the review.

Imma start like this and use language some ppl may find offensive. Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah are retarded. Now that that's out of the way, time to dissect this "Dragon Ball Super coloring book."

Goku & Vegeta land on the planet & its peaceful. How are they not immediately suspicious? They see that the planet isn't in danger & no death. Its obvious they need to ask a question to figure out what lies they've been told.

I was gonna say its dumb for Granolah to be able to supress his ki because it seems only Earthling have that kind of spiritual understanding. But Namekians have that spiritual understanding too so maybe Monaito taught Granolah how to suppress his ki.

I lost interest in the Heeters' past. You can only tease me so long until I stop caring. At least mention something like Freeza almost killed Gas on planet Cereal so now that's why Gas keeps trying to get stronger. There's so little info about "important" stuff that's supposed to be important. Give readers a tease, hint, a different hint, some valuable info, then another hint, then a reaveal (or something similar!) Instead its tease, hint, tease, tease, hint, tease...

In all honesty, the chapter didn't even need that page with Gas & Elec. When Maki said Gas & Elec are coming, that was all we needed to know. Then we anticipate their arrival in the next chapter. Showing them is a waste of time & they add no real purpose to the chapter. That was just a waste of ink.

Also I'm bored of Gas now. He only looks interesting but does nothing. 👎

Granolah shoots at Goku & Vegeta. Base Goku closes his eyes to use UI (UI Omen?) while Vegeta goes SS. Base Goku dodges easier than Vegeta. Goku is leagues beyond Vegeta.

A better way to have Goku & Vegeta encounter Granolah would be for him to snipe at them right when they get off the ship. Granolah wanted to kill them so bad so why wait for them?

Somehow they go towards Granolah but he's too fast for them & they lose him. They can't sense him firing ki for some reason. Idk why Goku didn't use Instant Transmission when Granolah shot ki at them?

I don't get why Goku closes his eyes either. Its as if Goku can't use UI now unless his eyes are closed but that wasn't the case before. Eyes were opend when using UI Omen & Mastered UI. Toyo could have conveyed that better but instead he's making Goku close his eyes like how Roshi covered his eyes when fighting those prisoner women because their beauty distracted him. Is Goku distracted by Granolah's beauty or something?

Wait a sec... I gotta backtrack real quick. Goku used the Ultra Instinct technique in his base & didn't go into Ultra Instinct Omen? But thats him using it in base right? Oh boy... This is about to get dumb...

Ultra Idiot Goku & Super Stupid Vegeta are surprised that the guy having the title of "strongest in the universe" is capable of moving faster than them when they aren't at full power. Such genius writing.

Goku gets shot in the neck... & it knocks him out... Ok. But later Granolah comments on how Goku's body moves on it's own before Goku can even process an attacks. Not to mention Goku & Whis have said the same thing. Goku should be untouchable at this point, but for some reason he is not.

So, Vegeta takes a senzu bean from his "training bra" and gives it to Goku. For some reason they decided to only take 2 senzu when knowing they would fight a guy possibly stronger than them. Stupid monkeys.🐒 (I'm starting to sound like Freeza now)

How did unconscious Goku eat a senzu? Yaoi fans would had loved it if Vegeta chewed the senzu up for Goku and fed it to him. Sorry, it just reminded me of Trunks spitting senzu mush into Mai's mouth since she was unconscious.

Then we have this dialogue from "sensei" Vegeta, The Ultra Instinct Expert...

"You rely on Ultra Instinct too much! If you haven't perfected it yet, then dodge using your mind!" - Vegeta

"Yeah, you're right..." - Goku

"WTF Toyotaro!" - DB Meta

... I'm unsure who is the stupid one in this situation. Is it Goku or Vegeta? It could be Vegeta because UI is the ultimate technique that allows you to move without thinking. But Vegeta says that because Goku hasn't perfected Ultra Inst-...

...

...

Sorry, I had to restart my brain...

Didn't... didn't Goku master Ultra Instinct? Silver hair? Silver eyes? MASTERED/PERFECTED ULTRA INSTINCT? Before that, Goku perfected Ultra Instinct Omen & could go in it at will... So, Goku is listening to Vegeta tell him he hasn't mastered UI? But both know that Goku did master UI? What does Vegeta know? Vegeta can't even use UI.

I almost stopped reading the rest of the colouring book when I got to that dialogue.

Also, Granolah wants to kill Saiyans, so why is he holding back and not hitting them with deadly attacks. He only needs one alive anyways. He said so himself.

At least there was a good pose Goku was in. The art looked nice there.

Now here's another place I almost quit reading. Granolah apparently has all the abilities of Goku & Vegeta. Hack writing. Sounds like a Moro, 7-3, & Cell copy cat. Toyo just cant leave the Cell saga alone.

Granolah is bumping his gums & rattling his tongue (old slang for "talking a lot") but when Vegeta asks if Granolah holds a grudge against Saiyans, Granolah suddenly says that's enough talking. He responded to them 3 times & spoke like 5 sentences to them. If you're gonna chat then chat. If you hate Saiyans then don't say anything to them & try to kill them. Dummy.

Granolah uses Hakai. But aparently he's not using Hakai or Instant Transmission. Its just "similar." Sure. Confirms that he has been using something similar to UI in previous chapters too.

Granolah says they're stronger than expected because they escaped into the air. Escape doesn't equal strenght. Mai escaped Goku Black, doesn't mean she's extremely strong.

But seriously, Vegeta saying he's gonna prove his training is better than Goku is stupid. He wants to prove he is better than Goku yet he tells Goku to fight first (that's beta). It's as if he isn't confident & wants Goku to wear Granolah out first, so he can come in and look impressive. Kinda like in RoF after Freeza was tired from fighting Goku & Vegeta wasn't tired at all & he easily beat Freeza up. Looked cool, but actually wasn't too impressive.

Granolah saying that he's gonna shoot them if they don't fight him is ridiculous. Why is he showing mercy to the tribe that didn't show his ppl mercy? Why give chances to the ppl you wanted revenge on for years? Realistically he would just start blasting at them.

Unecessary dialogue from Vegeta talking to himself about how he needs to learn who Granolah is. Show don't tell Toyo.

Why is Granolah waiting for the Oozaru form? Maybe he wants to kill them in that form? What about revenge? Just kill them.

Goku screamed to power up from SS to SSG. That's possibly dumb, but I gotta let at least 1 thing slide this chapter.

Why did Granolah let them power up? So unlike what we've been shown what Granolah is like. Why would he want to give "murderers" of his entire race a fair chance to fight him?

Next, Goku doesn't try to explain he isn't savage like other Saiyans when Granolah accuses his kind of being so. Instead Goku just agrees & says "Oh... Yeah." I guess he really just wants to fight. I can't tell if this is OOC or just magnifying a Saiyan flaw of Goku just to push the story along. Idk. I'm losing brain cells reading this chapter.

Granolah's fighting stance is cool. Hey, look. I said a nice thing. (But why is he doing close combat when being a sniper us his specialty?)

So, Goku uses UI in SSG form... Bruh, is Ultra Instinct a technique, a state of mind, or a transformation? I'll tell you what it is. ULTRA INSTINCT IS A PLOT DEVICE! It does whatever Toyotaro decides at the moment. So freaking inconsistent... 😓😒

Ultra Instinct becomes more accurate when in conjunction with a SS form?! How tho? I thought it was just a goldy technique that needed a clear mind and control or whatever. Or is UI a transformation like Toyo stated many times in previous chapters, while also calling UI a technique? How can mixing a godly "technique" with a SS form enhance it better than Goku simply using UI Omen? It doesnt! Vegeta, you can just shut up! Every time you talk about UI, you've been wrong! It should be illegal impersonating an UI Expert.

Goku is using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form against Granolah.

UI Omen is Goku using the Ultra Instinct technique in base form.

Goku uses Ultra Instinct technique in the Super Saiyan God transformation.

Mastered UI is Goku mastering the technique or maybe using the technique as a transformation? (Toyo is confusing.)

So why isn't Goku going into UI Omen when using UI in base? Why does Vegeta say "Ultra Instinct... becomes more accurate when used in conjunction with a Super Saiyan form"? Does that mean Mastered UI is a Saiyan form in conjunction with the Ultra Instinct technique? So, there's an unknown silver haired Saiyan transformation that Goku was utilizing in conjunction with Ultra Instinct? I guess this confirms that "Super Saiyan Blanco" is real y'all.

I suppose that if UI in base isn't the same as UI Omen, then by that logic, there is also an unknown "Super Saiyan Noir" form we haven't seen yet.

I'm done with Ultra Instinct in the manga. Toytaro doesn't know if UI is a technique or a transformation. I could explain it better than him, but I'm not tye one writing official material. Why should I make sense of his bad writing when he will change things later? HE should explain it clearly to US. He is extremely inconsistent with his explanations and will change them when he feels like it.

I dont care what Geekdom101 says about UI being both technique & transformation, because Ultra Instinct IS NOT a transformation nor a technique anymore. ULTRA INSTINCT IS JUST A PLOT DEVICE. 😑

[You can skip this little section. I'm talking about inconsistencies from the Moro arc]

I remember when I talked about how Moro's life draining powers were retconned multiple times.

Moro can absorb life energy from a planet while he is in outer space, then he is nerfed to only being able to take life energy by directly touching you, later Vegeta says they need to get off the ground because now Moro (who is stronger and fused with the planet) can only steal your life enrgy while making contact with you. He could absorb life energy from entire planets from space, but has to make contact with somebody once he got stronger?

Let's not forget it's said Moro drains life energy, but can't drain 17 & 18 because they say they don't have life energy. I guess that means Krillin had a daughter with a dead woman? No. Multiple times, 17 & 18 contributed to the Genki Dama (a collection of life energy). Goku gathers energy from trees, animals, ppl, everything living. This means 17 & 18 do have life energy because they are living beings. But the energy they fight with is unlimited artificial energy.

So if 17 & 18 can give life energy to Goku for a Genki Dama, then Moro should be able to take their life energy just like anyone else. What he can't take is their energy they use for battle because itsunlimited & artificial. Toyotaro does not understand this important detail nor does he understand many other details about these iconic character. So why is the the writer if he is getting so much wrong? Why is he not soley the artist?

Goku uses UI in SSG form to dodge a barrage of attacks from Granolah that are aimed at the planet. They must be weak attacks because the explosions are tiny. Is Granolah really trying to kill them?

Goku using UI in SSG but somehow gets caught off gaurd. Did UI just get nerfed so that Vegeta can look like he is on the same level as Goku in a later chapter? I think it did...

Granolah took Goku down a second time... Wow Goku, you kinda suck. In DBS CH 65 on page 11, after Moro broke his arm on UI Goku's chest, Whis said "When Ultra Instinct is honed to this extent, the body will automatically grow sturdier as necessary." Why is Goku holding back against the strongest in the universe? Oh yeah, that's right... UI is getting nerfed.

Vegeta, what do you mean "How is he learning Kakarot's weaknesses so quickly?" Everybody has similar vital spots in DB. Thats not learning, thats just knowing. Are you just a dummy, Vegeta? Do you not know where vital spots are?

Granolah can tell Goku's body is moving before his brain tells him to react. Granolah the UI "expert" can see all with his eye. You know who else can see with their eye? Tien. Speaking of Tien, I wanna go back to Earth now. What's Piccolo doing? I bet everyone on Earth is chilling or at work. Is it bad I'd rather watch Gohan at a conference than watch Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah be dummies? I'd rather watch Chi-Chi cooking with vegetables instead of watching vegetable puns fight a cereal pun. I'm sorry, the dialogue is just so bad...

How does Granolah's right eye being able to observe blood flow & muscle movements let you know where to strike? Dude, vital spots are where your organs are, & pressure points, & your head area, & you arteries, & so on. Ya ain't gotta observe blood flow to know that. Granolah just making stuff up now to sound cool. News flash, you failed. If he was sniping and able to track them based on blood flow and muscle movement, then that would had been smarter writing.

Granolah: "This right eye of mine is the sharpest in all the universe. It sees all."

Your eye sees all Granolah? Can you see past the Heeters feeding you bullcrap too?

Yo, where did Granolah's barely existing personality go? He wss once driven by revenge, and now the opportunity for revenge is right here in front of him & he's acting like he doesn't want it. If revenge is his only noticeable personality trait, what happens when you take it away? You get bland and dry Granolah.

So then Veget- hold on! Thats it! Granolah's name pun is granola because he is meant to be a bland character! I get it now! So all his moves must be cereal puns!

I never realized how genius this character is!

Detective Vegeta: "A tribe driven to extinction, known for their evolved right eyes... This is starting to sound familiar..." 🕵

Tien?! Oh wait... he said right, not 3rd eye. Jiren?! Oh wait, that's both his eyes... Jaco!? That's both eyes too... I give up.

Granolah's eye can tell that Goku is not using his full power, yet he can't tell he is being fooled by the Heeters. I think he needs new glasses or at least clean the revenge smear off of his monocle.

Granolah casually chats with a Saiyan who is one of the ppl he wants to kill. He would be better if he barely talked and just acted. Granolah should be like Iron Man in "Captain America: Civil War." Not trying to talk, just trying to kill because he is angry and wants revenge.

Goku: "Granolah, we don't work for Freeza & the two of us didn't attack your planet."

Granolah: "I dont care... Your people killed my family."

Boom! Gimme an award!

Back to the chapter 72 colouring book...

Granolah: "Hurry and get on with it. I have no duty to wait for your sake."

Yet you've been waiting all this time for them to arrive, fight them, chat with them, & even waiting for him to transform right now. You got time. You got 3 yrs to waste. You can chat for 10 minutes or so.

Granolah tells Goku that he doesn't have time to wait, then says "It's no skin off my nose to kill you where you stand." Then he waits for Goku to transform... Just kill Goku and be done with it already. Its not like Vegeta can win if Goku can't.

Granolah: "I dont have time for talk."

Goku: "Ok lets fight!"

Granolah: "Ok but, let me tell you about what my eye can do. I'm really proud of it. Mind if I talk a bit? So I sacrificed my life to defeat Freeza, the guy you're working for."

Goku: "What? You don't like Freeza? You're not a bad guy?"

Granolah: "Shut up Saiyan! You'll pay! Fight me!"

Granolah doesn't want to talk about Freeza all of the sudden when Goku implies they both have been tricked. Granolah becomes stupid just so the fight continues. There's a better way to keep them fighting. SHUT UP, GRANOLAH! If he talked less then convoluted stuff like this wouldn't happen.

Granolah yells "Take this!" He powers up instead of doing an attack... Why yell "take this" then power up if you aren't gonna attack right away? You even knocked Goku out of SSG, so now is the perfect time to finish him.

Blah blah blah, Goku goes SSB and they fight, blah blah blah.

Hey look! In my last review I said something about the planet should shake or be in danger from the battle. Looks like Toyo made the planet shake from the battle. Good job. I like this detail. Will it matter later on? Probably not.

Also, ya notice how god ki and god transformations are limited in this chapter? It seem they got too powerful for there to be any stakes. So we see Vegeta in base & SS. Then we see Goku in base, SS, SSG, base, & SSB so that false tension can build. Its smart but the dialogue doesn't compliment this smart tactic.

Aparently Vegeta doesn't care about the fight. Detective mode activate! (🕵) Vegeta standing in that Oozaru footprint looks like he's in Jurassic Park lol. But why did Detective Vegeta have to touch the footprint? He could had just looked at everything when he was high up and had a bird's eye view. Did Detective Vegeta taste the soil & gain knowledge by tasting the past?

Detective Vegeta: "I think I know who he is."

The Heeters said his name is Granolah, dummy. Shouldn't you say "I think I know what happened here." or something like that? Gimmie your detective hat, your trench coat, your bubble pipe, & you magnifying glass! You give detectives a bad name! I'll give this to somebody more deserving, like Jaco, Videl, Krillin, or Hit.

Did ya notice that Vegeta didn't get hit once but Goku who is using UI gets hit multiple times? Vegeta tells Goku to think instead of use UI? Oh yeah, this chapter was to pander to Vegeta fans. Toyo is poorly trying to convey he is equal or above Goku somehow. Like Vegeta mastered his training but Goku hasn't despite having mastered UI as a transformation thingy.

In conclusion, I was right. Freeza still hasn't been seen yet. Show a pic of him in somebody's thought bubble at the very least. This is all happening because if his influence y'all. Still no visual of Freeza yet... Whateva.

This chapter was wack. Too much unintelligent & unreasonable & unrealistic & unnecessary dialogue, plot went nowhere, Goku is being handicapped so the fight can continue, everyone are stupid idiots, Vegeta is being built up to lose his battle or get lucky & win. No image of Freeza still... This was just a very, very boring chapter.

I expect the next chapter to be boring too. Probably won't see Freeza either.

Prediction

Goku got knocked down twice by Granolah, Vegeta decided to fight second, Granolah said he doesn't need to keep Goku alive, & Vegeta told Goku he should stop relying on UI... Sounds like UI is getting nerfed & Goku is gonna need to be saved by Vegeta so that Vegeta can show off his Hakai training in comparison to UI.

[thebookwormfairy]

Captain the Retired Police Dog Part 4

Back by popular demand here's Part 4. I just want to thank everybody for reading this. Also Shout out to all the Mummy fans and Maribat discord users thank y'all for hyping me up!

The next morning Damain met Marinette and Captain bright and early 

He was determined to make this day one of the best in Marinette’s life

He was so excited that he didn’t notice his brothers’ strange facsination with his plans

Jason:  So what’s your plan for today? How are you going to top last night’s  movie marthon?

Damain: Not that it’s any of your business, but Marinette, Captain, and I are going to the park where she met me as Damain, then the botanical gardens, and then we’re going to explore the city some more.

Dick:  Not bringing Titus with you this time, Baby Bird?

Damain:  He’s still exsahuted from the late night last night.

Bruce *drinking coffee*:  You should bring Ace with you then.  She needs a day out.

Ace who’s been sitting at Bruce’s feet shot her head up to look at him

Like she really wanted to be stuck with two love stuck teenagers and Titus’ friend

Damain:  Not a bad idea father.  Come on girl let’s head out

Ace just rolled her eyes but went with Damain either way 

 At worst she’ll get some exercise and out of the manor

At best she’ll make a new friend

Once Damain and Ace were out of the house and the other Wayne boys got to work

Dick: Alright men we can do this, all we have to do is decide when to ambush the happy couple.

Jason: I say we do it right when Demon Spawn picks up his Angel

Tim: No too dangerous.  He’ll spot us before she even gets out of her hotel

Dick: What about after the botanical gardens?  We can trail them from a distance until they get in the building then all we have to do is wait outside until they come out.

Jason: GENIUS! And there’s no way for him to avoid us.  

Alfred:  Don’t you have jobs to do

Dick:  We’re pulling a Bruce

Bruce glared at his 3 boys unamused 

Bruce: Just make sure to get plenty of pictures

Jason *saluting*:  Will do

With that the 3 adopted Waynes ran out to inact their plan

Alfred:  Are you sure this is wise sir?

Bruce: If they don’t push Damain we may never meet Marinette

In the hotel Marinette was getting ready for her date with Damain

Tikki: Don’t over think it too much Marinette, Damain really likes you I can tell.

Marinette:  I know Tikki, but I can’t help but be nervous.  What if I do something wrong and he never wants to see me again?

Tikki:  That’s just Lila getting into your head don’t let her.  You are one of the greatest ladybugs I have the priviledge of working with.  Anybody would be lucky to have you as a friend or a romantic partner

Marinette: Thanks Tikki. Your right like always.

Marinette head her phone ding with a notification

Marinette: It's Damian he's waiting for us in the lobby let's go Captain

Down in the lobby Damian was getting a taste of Lila

Lila was holding trying to get a hold of Damian's arm, but Ace was doing a good job at keeping the annoying girl at a distance

Lila: Oh what a beautiful dog. You know I do a lot of volunteer work in animal shelters with Damian Wayne. You know Dami's such an animal lover

Alya: Oh really Lila that's so giving of you.

Damian: You know Damian Wayne?

Lila: I know not many people know. But you probably think the worst of me thanks to Marinette. She's so cruel to me for no reason

Lila started to pretend cry making Alya and the rest of her sheep flock to comfort the "distressed" girl

Damian was in disbelief about how gullible Marinette's class seemed to be.

He was a little relieved to see that some of the class didn't see it buy it.

A blonde girl, pink hair girl, and Asian boy stood at a distance and just rolled their eyes

Chloe, Alix, and Kim have been disillusioned to Lila's lies

Chloe new from the very beginning just didn't see a reason to say anything

Alix and Kim found out over time, they felt like it was too late to do anything and feared ending up like Marinette

So they are biding their time waiting for the best time to exposed Lila

Damian was happy that they didn't fall for this girl's lies, but not so happy that they didn't speak up

Lila tried once again to grab onto Damian's arm, but Ace being the good girl she is growled a little at Lila who once again jumped back

Damian: Sorry about that Ace isn't good with sudden movements. As for Marinette she actually hasn't mentioned you. The only she she told me about anybody in her class was that she was here with them. She does speak a lot about her friends Luka and Kagami though

Lila was surprised she was sure she could use Marinette's whining against her

Lila: Oh how rude of Marinette-

Damian: Actually I don't see anything rude about not mentioning somebody who clearly wants to but her down.

At this point Marinette and Captain walked into the Lobby

Damian: Hey Angel

Damian pulled Marinette into a side hug and giving her a kiss to the side of her head being careful to keep the two dogs at a distance for now

Marinette *giggling*: Hey Damian. Who's this

Marinette looked down at the German Sheperd connected to Damian

Damian: This is Ace. Titus was still tired from last night and I didn't want Captain to get lonely and she could use a day out

Marinette: Well hello Ace

Marinette bent down slightly and let Ace sniff her hand

Ace gave her hand a little sniff, she decided to let the girl give her a pet

Not to mention Ace could sense that she was a lot better then that sausage hair girl

Marinette gave Ace a nice little head rub

Marinette: Well aren't you a pretty girl

Lila seethed in her place she tried to get that stupid dog to let her pet it 10 times, and Marinette just has to let it sniff her hand and it'll let her touch it

Damian: Come on Marinette I got a big day planned for us

Damian wrapped his arm around Marinette shoulder leading Marinette and their dogs out of the hotel, but he stopped right before the door

Damian: And Lila maybe you should make sure you know what a person looks like before you lie about them. I would suggest you look up what Damian Wayne looks like.

With that Damian, Marinette, and the 2 dogs left the hotel

Alix intrigued by Marinette's mysterious boys comment looked up Damian Wayne and burst out laughing

The others in the lobby looked at the pink hair girl in confusion

Alix: No wonder he warned you about looking people up.

Alix showed the picture on her phone to her classmates

Kim: Omg he was Damian Wayne!

Lila faced grew red and quickly tried to cover her tracks

Lila: Oh I must have gotten him confused with someone else. Haha you know I meet with soo many people

Lila's sheep laughed with her, but Lila could sense that she lost a little bit of her hold on them with that slip up

At the park

Marinette: You didn't have to do that Damian?

Damian: And why wouldn't I Angel. She tried to threaten you and she was stupid enough to try and use me to impress ME she deserved to be called out a bit.

Marinette and Damian kept talking while Captain and Ace got to know eachother

Captain had to admit he was a bit smittened by this German sheperd

She looked gorgeous and had a good head on her shoulders

But most importantly he could tell she loved her humans just as much as he loved his

Ace: So you really us to be a police dog?

Captain trying to impress Ace: Yep and I still remember all my training. My girl and I run through courses on the weekends to keep it up, but enough about me tell me about you.

Ace in a bit of a flirty tone: Well I don't mean to brag, but me and my humans go through a lot of training too. I actually have a couple of humans. Though inhave to admit my favorite one is the leader of the pack. He's called Alfred. I didn't have the best puppy hood. Alfred's pup, Bruce, found me and helped other people take me to a shelter. Alfresco came a couple of days later and picked me up. He helped me overcome my past and convinced Bruce to keep me. Now I have a pretty cushy life.

Captain: I can relate to that.

Marinette watched as her big tough retired police dog cuddle with Ace. She could already tell her boy was starting to fall for Ace.

Captain laid his head over Ace's and Marinette couldn't help but aww

Damian wrapping his arm around Marinette as they sit under a tree: What's on your mind Mari?

Marinette: It seems like Captain had fallen for Ace

Damian: I'd have to agree with that and it looks to me like the feelings mutual

The two couples stayed in the park for 2 hours alternating playing and cuddling

Damian: You're going to love this next stop Angel

Marinette: Where are we going?

Damian: You'll see when we get there. Don't you trust me?

Marinette with a small smile: Yes

Once they got to the botanical gardens Marinette loved it!

All the flowers and planets gave her plenty of inspiration and Damian let her stop and draw as much as she wanted without getting impatient or annoyed

He even commented and gave feed back and suggestions to some of Marinette's designs

Damian was just enjoying watching Marinette's face throughout the whole experience.

Her face was so open and showed every emotion that she felt and Damian just couldn't turn away

The dogs also had a great time getting to see new sights and smells.

But in Damian's opinion all that was ruined when they walked outside and saw his brothers

Jason: Hey Demon Spawn

Bonus

Dick: Omg they're both cuddling hurry get a pictur!!!

Jason watching Damianwalk out with his arm around Marinette: Damn I didn't know demon spaw could be so smooth. Hurry get a picture

Tim: Look at them playing with the dogs! Hurry get a picture

Both Dick and Jason gave him a weird look

Tim: Oh right I'm holding the camera.

Okay I can feel y'alls annoyance with the cliffhanger, sorry.

Tags

@felicityroth @northernbluetongue

[thewheezingbubbledragon]

More Mass Effect with Bro: Because I think it's fun

Jacob's estranged dad who is a commander on a ship and the other officers once they crash on an unknown alien planet: *sees that eating the food causes neural decay and general degradation of one's faculties* Yeetity skeet, we aint gonna eat.

Bro: *dies*

Me in a terrible Canadian accent: Oh, Commander Shepard didn't survive eh.

Jacob's dad, who is the most terrible disgusting human ever: I'm not sure when it all went wrong.

Me: I do; you existed.

Bro: Miranda wear some pants.

Bro, in a high pitched voice: I am wearing pants

Bro: Wear more.

Me: we jus' gon yeeteth the sceneth.

Mass Effect Producer 1: We need a setting for this side mission... Somewhere remote but intriguing...

Mass Effect Producer 2: I got it!!! Derelict ship!!!

MEP1: Genius!!!

Me: why the frick are there so many derelict ships in ME2 wtheck.

Me: everybody's loyalty armour just makes them look more emo.

Jack: What are we doing here?

Me: if she's asking about the meaning of life I have no answers

Bro: 42.

Me: ...

Me: you right.

Bro, examining the crispy friend prune decaying bodies of dead people: how did... Y'all are into some weird stuff but

Me: they went out in the sun too long. They raisin.

Me, realizing that the bodies are high up in the derelict ship we're in: R A I S I N T H E R O O F

Bro: *slightly disgusted sigh* I dont know you anymore.

Jack: my favoeite thing.

Me: murder?

Bro: when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeeling saaad~

Both of us: I simply remember to murder these things and then I dont FEEEEEL: SOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAD

Bro: *dies* OwWiE mY fAcE hOlE

Me:

Bro, joking about weird planet names: The Planet C R A C K and its moons, M E T H, and CRYSTAL.

Me: THEY HAVE AN EVIL CARL*!!!!

(*beeg mechy boiz)

Tali's drone aka Carl 3: *dies*

Me: NOOOOOOO CARL 3!!!! DD:

Bro walking past a corpse: Aw it's a dude. Hes dead.

Me: RIP dude I guess

Krogan reciting poetry to his Asari gf bc he loves her and is a giant romantic dork: I love you so much!!!! ❤

Asari who's got anxiety and is worried about things: but does he????

Shepard, amused and being genuinely helpful: probably. Talk to him he seems sweet.

A: he is and I love him a lot. I'm just worried since he said he wants kids he doesnt realize they'll be Asari...

S: did you tell him that?

A: yes. He was quiet for a bit... and then said he'd love our girls no matter what color they were.

Me:

Bartender Asari lady: Thanks for taking care of that creep. Keeps me from beating him to death with his own spine. Customers tend not like that.

Me: I l o v e h e r

Liara: *exists*

Me: OH MY GOSH IT'S LIARA like she aint best girl like Tali but shes close but also AHHH HI LIARA LOVE YOU

That moment when you and your brother spend almost an hour and a half discussing female portrayals in comics and media in general and end up having him questioning the patriachy but can't say anything bc saying feminism means 'crazy psychos who want all men to die' and you have no backup defense because there ARE cases of that and so long as they exist they harm feminism's image.

[lunarnoona5342]

DAY 2 OF MY PENTAGON WEEK and I haven't done anything yet. I've ultimately decided to talk about my favourite eras: one I experience, one I didn't, and one I wish I'd experienced

The first is Sha La La era. I loved that era so much because all the songs were right up my alley (despite my issues with the line distribution of Lost Paradise but that's a whole other can of worms). I know my ult's hair was controversial and he shouldn't've had it (ik I argued for it but like I was doing it because some of y'all thought verbally abusing him was a good idea and I couldn't just let him be hurt like that) but when I ignored the bad side of it for a bit, he looked so good with the hairstyle (fuck y'all that said his hair looked like tarantula legs). Then obviously I went back to thinking "right he shouldn't have that hair". When he got rid of the hairstyle his hair was still pretty and I loved it so much and then he WENT PURPLE AND I THINK I DIED anyway enough about my bias, everyone looked amazing, was sad Ggu couldn't perform but when he was able to do Spring Snow stages I was like :D I love him so much.

My favourite track from Genie:us was Alien, it was so cute! Spring Snow was a very close second for me, especially paired with the dp, it was the cutest dp ever CUBE DO MORE LIKE SPRING SNOW. Then Genius came out and I cried so much it's a pussy song (aka a song not made for pussies it me I'm pussies). Heart wrenching song I love

OH YEAH LAST THING BEFORE NEXT ERA Yanan rainbow hair

NEXT ERA, the era I didn't experience, Can You Feel It era. Can You Feel It is my favourite title track, I love it so much and I'm a ho for fanfare like songs or songs made with trumpets. Everyone was gorgeous that era and I literally can't pinpoint a particular member for it. I loved it when they appeared on Heyo TV, especially when they did the 2 groups where team Milk just sucked balls until somehow they did best at the game with the loud sounds??? Then there was Wonki being the chaotic gays they are imagine having the privilege to see that live. Then there was Changgu thinking a plastic glove was squid and Yanan going "WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT THIS IS PLASTIC" and then Honk accidentally revealing an answer then HuiHyo being best friend goals by being able to peel tangerines together? Then there was the other group one where team Makhyung ruled them all up until the plastics ruined it (ik they were team model but like they were basically the plastics) and then there was that team with the XBox username that wasn't particularly good at any of the tasks. Poor Hui having to manage them all.

My favourite tracks from that era were Pretty Pretty and Stay Crazy. Pretty Pretty is so much fun to dance around to and ngl I thought Wooseok said "everybody shit" when I first listened to the song and had to backtrack just to make sure I heard wrong. Stay Crazy is such a chill song and sometimes I prefer a chill song over a hyper song and Stay Crazy really got that chill factor for me I love jamming to it when I'm tired because there's minimal effort needed to chill with it.

FINALLY the era I wish I could've experienced: Critical Beauty era. It's sad since Yanan wasn't there but like I really wish I could've been there and seen the crazy stuff like with Nimdle and the bUG THERE'S A BUG AAAAAAAAAA and Yuto ruining Cheer Up's chorus by making it sad and then him not understanding a question and just assuming it was about what he couldn't handle and literally just name a shenanigan from that era I will have seen it and I will have wished I'd seen it the moment it was released.

I know I haven't spoken about this era much but I'm just gonna skip to the favourite tracks bit because my fingers are gonna fall off soon lmao.

My favourite tracks were To Universe and Spectacular. Do I even have to explain To Universe? Do I have to talk about how much of a pussy song that is for me? To Universe was the OG pussy song that paved the way for pussy songs by Pentagon (sorry For You, Find Me, and Thank You). Spectacular was actually one of the first bside tracks I'd ever listened to by Pentagon so it holds a very special place in my heart. It's such a joyful song to me and it just fills me with happiness whenever I listen to it!

Okay that's enough for today, expect another thing tomorrow!

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: 👓 Fraze: ⛔ Bea: You'll get a right headache Fraze: Nah Fraze: Be more of one if I put 'em on 🤓 Bea: 🙄 Bea: be so 😎 when you don't pass this test Fraze: I ain't gonna either way Bea: Not with that attitude Bea: why not Fraze: Didn't study, like Fraze: too busy Bea: can't see, like Bea: such a bullshit excuse Fraze: Fuck off, I can see Bea: Alright well the squint doesn't look cute so you'll want to knock that on the head Fraze: Nobody's looking my way but you, babe Fraze: This ain't a paper to cheat off Bea: Better 🤞 they ain't Bea: since you're so concerned what they reckon, apparently Fraze: what are you on one for? Bea: you're distracting me with all your faces Bea: just put 'em on, idiot Fraze: You're distracting me with all this bullshit, that I'm reading easy, by the way Fraze: You know you're copycatting my Ma right now, yeah? That don't sound cute so you'll wanna knock it on the head even faster Bea: Not the same, your phones not even a foot from your face Fraze: And? Bea: 🤓 go sit up front Fraze: fuck that Bea: exactly Bea: what's the big deal anyway Fraze: you're the only one making a big deal out of it Fraze: like I said, Ma will be well proud Bea: whatever Bea: be like that then Fraze: Like what? Fed up that I'm getting a headache off you Fraze: Stop kicking off and get your own test done Bea: Bollocks Bea: you know why you've got a headache, even if you refuse to do anything about it Fraze: I ain't asking you to do anything about it except shut up Fraze: give it a shot if you wanna help, like Bea: you shut up Bea: go lie in a dark room Bea: that'll be cool Fraze: Miss ain't letting me go mid test, feeling fake sick is the oldest trick in the book Fraze: catch yourself on, she has Bea: it's not even fake Bea: you'll be seeing spots in a few Fraze: Who died and made you such a fucking expert? Bea: don't take a genius, babe Fraze: Shame, prime showing off opportunity slipping through your fingers there Bea: Get the chance when I ace this, won't I Fraze: 'Course Fraze: probably wanna concentrate then, yeah? Bea: what are you gonna do? Fraze: I reckon I'll text some girls who ain't you Bea: yeah, that's what I meant Bea: and that'll help Fraze: It won't hurt Fraze: Unlike the suggestions I'm ignoring from you Bea: Your funeral Bea: didn't you listen either Bea: if you don't get at least 50% you've got to come back and do it again at lunch Fraze: Me and Miss, it's a date Bea: enjoy Fraze: Cheers Bea: [slides him notes along the floor that's like everything from the board in as few words as possible 'cos that bitch] Bea: get it 'fore your mate does Fraze: [obvs takes he cos not gonna pass up that opportunity] Fraze: Why'd you bother? Bea: not like it took me long Fraze: Yeah but it ain't like you're gonna miss me that much at lunch Bea: Obviously Bea: idk does it matter Fraze: You tell me, you're the one being proper helpful today Bea: yeah don't say thanks or anything Fraze: Alright I won't Bea: 🙄 Fraze: You done already? Bea: yeah Fraze: fucking hell Bea: I ain't sending you the answers next Bea: before you even ask Fraze: Come on Bea: you ain't thick Bea: you can do it yourself Bea: and I wouldn't want to interrupt your lunchdate Fraze: Worth a try Bea: put half that effort in with your work Bea: mum enough for you? Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Yeah, you nailed it Bea: 👍 Bea: I'll take my bow Fraze: Let me get my 👓 on first, I'd be gutted to miss it, babe Bea: Funny Fraze: Nah but I'm trying to get this done, ain't I Bea: oh what, you'll be so much funnier when you're not busy Bea: sure 👌 Fraze: shut up Fraze: 'course I would Fraze: ask anyone in here, my rep precedes me Bea: maybe they've just got low-standards Fraze: Funny Bea: I'm done so Bea: got the time Fraze: not gonna clap for you like a proud Ma Bea: s'alright Bea: plenty will Bea: you focus Fraze: Let me then Fraze: Think about your 🌟s and head pat 🤓 Bea: like I care Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I could be legit blind and still see how much you give a shit Bea: not about what anyone here thinks Bea: getting the grades to be where I wanna be, obviously Bea: what else is there, not gonna waste my time here when we've got to be Fraze: Never said it was for 'em, did I? Fraze: smarter than that, cheers Fraze: Even if this test don't show it Bea: I don't care what Miss reckons either Bea: and I said you weren't thick Bea: don't need to impress me Fraze: 'Cause Miss don't know fuck all and you're still the smartest person I know Fraze: I ain't trying to impress you, if you are, you are, babe Bea: Didn't say either way Fraze: whatever Bea: how you doing Fraze: give me the answers to the last couple and I'll be alright Bea: really Fraze: Why not? Fraze: what else you doing? Bea: you're such a pisstake Fraze: I'll be your best mate Bea: 😂 Bea: what an offer Fraze: told you I'm funny Bea: funny enough to be bezzies is another question Bea: hmm Fraze: You've got time to think it over, already heard that brag, like Fraze: can have more too if we fuck off after this Bea: yeah Bea: a valid point Bea: we've only got bullshit left today so Fraze: and I've got a headache Fraze: we both know what the best cure for that is Bea: 🍾? Fraze: Exactly Fraze: I got some hidden Bea: See? Bea: smarter than you look Fraze: You can just admit you're impressed now Bea: nah Bea: see how I feel after a few Fraze: there's 🚬 as well Bea: when did you get them Fraze: [throws her a smug look like 😏 IRL excuse him miss whoever] Bea: [looks back and pretends to be 😒 if the teacher looks but can't help but be a lil 😏] Bea: seriously where was I Fraze: [does an exaggerated stretch and puts his feet up on his desk to signal he's done cos pleasure to have in class] Fraze: dunno Bea: ugh Bea: how many have you saved me Fraze: loads Bea: awh Bea: cheers Fraze: What can I say? Great manners Bea: I'll tell your mum Bea: so proud 💘 Fraze: I'll take any good lad points I can get Bea: how many mates are you bringing for those points then? Fraze: For now you'll do Fraze: you really know how to stroke an ego, like Fraze: make a boy feel decent about himself Bea: not what mates are for Bea: you've been doing it wrong boys Fraze: 😂 Bea: I'll put a good word in for you with girls that ain't your ma Bea: how's that Fraze: I don't need your help Bea: sure Fraze: and what makes you reckon they'd listen to you? It'd put 'em off if anything Bea: why would it Bea: rude Fraze: just saying, not your mates, are they? Bea: doesn't matter Bea: everyone knows I'm smart Bea: regardless Fraze: book smart ain't people smart Fraze: they don't know you're that Bea: don't patronize me Fraze: don't be patronized when I ain't being Bea: yes, you are Bea: like I'm some stunted loser that can't speak to people Fraze: I'm saying none of 'em ever have a clue what's going on, that's it Bea: no shit Fraze: So get over yourself, it weren't about taking the piss out of you Bea: fuck off Bea: what was it about then Bea: telling me shit I already know Fraze: you fuck off Fraze: one rule for you, yeah? Bea: Asking where your fucking glasses are isn't patronizing Fraze: Treating me like a fucking kid is Bea: you act like one Fraze: fuck you Bea: seriously Bea: you can't see, just put them on, it's not hard Fraze: mind your own business, it's not hard Bea: fine Fraze: good Bea: bye then Fraze: Jesus, they're broken, alright Fraze: are you happy now? Bea: No Bea: how broken though? Fraze: am I fucking optician like? Bea: well is it the frame or the lens'? Bea: because we can fix the frame Fraze: If I put 'em on I'd look like the kitchen window after Joe took that wanky free kick and busted it but I said it was me Bea: Hmm Bea: okay, so you need to tell your ma and yeah she'll have a go about looking after your shit better but under 16s are free so it won't be massive drama Bea: until then we can steal one of those carbon copy pads from the art room, easy two sets of notes Fraze: That's actually a decent idea Fraze: first one you've had Fraze: almost reckoned you'd lost the knack, babe Bea: piss off Bea: you know I hadn't and how often I have them Fraze: don't make me actually laugh Bea: no laughing matter, boy Bea: you're such a 🃏 Fraze: [drumming the tune of ace of ♠s with his pencil on his desk so she can hear cos pleasure to have in class again ha] Bea: wow wanna start a band Bea: sure Joe will be in Fraze: 'Cause what he needs is more groupies Fraze: fuck that Bea: 😂 Bea: idk if he's there yet Bea: or they'd like that term Fraze: can we get out of here yet or what? Bea: Oh so you think we're cool again Bea: just 'cos I've solved all your problems Fraze: Come on, you know you wanna go Bea: Maybe Fraze: You don't wanna be stuck here, ain't no maybe about that, babe Bea: alright Bea: let's go Fraze: yeah Bea: can we 🚬 before we run Fraze: 'Course Fraze: who the fuck do you reckon you're asking, like? Bea: 😏 Bea: alright Bea: calm down Fraze: That ain't really me either, is it? 😏 Bea: 😱 are you saying I don't know you that well after-all? Fraze: you ain't got nothing to prove to me Bea: damn right Fraze: [let's say the bell goes so they can leave] Bea: [hit up that smoking spot lads] Fraze: [5ever a mood but don't get caught thank you] Bea: [don't need that today they'd be pros by now] Fraze: [when you're so little still but so grown oh my heart] Bea: [probably the youngest there awh] Fraze: [they so would be, little badasses that can hold their own and Bea is the smolest lil egg] Bea: [when you're cute so sketchy older boys always let you hang its just a thing] Fraze: [and when you could beat older lads in a fight and probably have] Bea: [#squad] Fraze: [gotta go get the booze from the hiding spot, probably buried Alaska style ha, none of the rest of y'all are invited bye] Bea: [toodles] Fraze: [where should we send 'em? playground or somewhere more secret so they won't get spotted?] Bea: [hmm probably be snekky] Fraze: [good plan] Bea: [I don't think Rocky has been born yet so they could attempt the house first lol] Fraze: [oh yeah good point let's send 'em there first and then they can always run if they think they hear someone should we want] Bea: [risque, they would, also not a huge walk] Fraze: [exactly dr phil] Bea: [okay so it is a bit cliche but in a good way I think, 'cos usually these moments are like you're for some reason close enough to kiss and then you just look at each other after a MomentTM and it's like welp, anyway, what if one of the 'rents does pop back for something so they have to get in a wardrobe sitch and hide 'til they gone?] Fraze: [omg yes because I call bullshit on adults/teens fitting in most wardrobes when peeps try and pull that shit but she's smol so believable] Bea: [he'll have to crouch but deal boy] Fraze: [love that for him haha] Bea: [even closer casually] Fraze: [when you're gonna have to get out and pretend none of it ever happened] Bea: [oh lads, good times] Fraze: [story of years of their lives literally] Bea: [soon children] Fraze: [Ali's cat should do something to almost lowkey give away their location since there's no dog yet, remember when Clove was throwing herself at the door lol] Bea: [heheheheh oh bluebs at least you will be ignored orrrr we could get 'em in trouble, means they wouldn't get chance to gloss over in person so we could do awks convo on messenger later] Fraze: [okay so he makes 'em go to work with him and to separate 'em for our own ends we could say Bea is counting stock in the back and he's cleaning up somewhere else idk pub stuff] Bea: [yes, that about sums it up, just in such bad moods lmao you could've been shame-walked into school] Fraze: [at least we can start 'em complaining] Bea: why have you got an easier job Fraze: how'd you reckon? Bea: there's 0 thought involved Bea: I may as well have stayed in school Fraze: there's loads of 💪 involved Fraze: wanna swap, like? Bea: 🙄 Bea: obviously not Bea: how would I manage Fraze: You're a girl, be fucked if you couldn't hack cleaning Bea: you're such a twat Fraze: Don't mean I'm wrong Bea: doesn't mean you're right either Bea: rude doesn't mean it's a harsh truth automatically Fraze: 'Course not but this one's bang on Fraze: Look at my Ma, spends her life picking up after us lot Bea: that's her choice Bea: don't have to be a mum Fraze: you don't wanna then? Bea: no Bea: why would you Bea: like you said, all she does is pick up after us Fraze: must be more to it than that or no fucker would bother Fraze: don't get nearly enough handouts to be in it for the cash Bea: nah don't be thick Bea: most are accidents Bea: or to fix the fuckups with the previous Fraze: Pretty obvious which I fall into, golden boy too Fraze: It don't need to be your turn to tell me shit I already know now, just 'cause you're bored Bea: not shattering any illusions Bea: but you asked so Fraze: I asked about you, not what the standard is around here Fraze: I ain't planning in following in any of these fuckers footsteps Fraze: or coming to 'em for childcare tips Bea: and you think I am? Bea: not one for the parenting books but could be worse I guess Fraze: you ain't talking about moving the goalposts, babe Fraze: why wouldn't you if you can do it better Fraze: goes for anything Bea: I can think of plenty of things I'd rather do Fraze: Me too but eventually I'll have done all them Bea: you gonna be one of those middle-aged dads running around after a toddler then Fraze: Be rude not to knock out a few with my supermodel missus before I run off with the hot nanny, like Fraze: give her something to remember me by and shit to do when the work dries up Bea: 😂 Fraze: what you laughing for, don't you reckon it's a good plan? Bea: I reckon you shouldn't repeat that to anyone else Fraze: alright but you should've said you were that desperate to have a secret with me 'cause I reckon I could've done loads better Bea: I'd hope so Bea: that's kid's stuff, like Fraze: you done treating me like one then? Bea: depends Fraze: on? Bea: you Bea: not acting like one Bea: obviously Fraze: I don't, obviously Bea: okay Fraze: come on, say it with feeling, babe Bea: Maybe when there's some proof Fraze: are you out later? Bea: are we allowed out later is the question Fraze: it's only the question if you're a little kid Fraze: I'm going, come with Bea: where? Fraze: you'll see if you ain't too scared of my Ma's wrath, like Bea: yeah right Fraze: I dunno, sounded like you were gonna pussy out there then Bea: I just don't like to waste my time Bea: nothing wrong with that Fraze: I don't waste your time Fraze: ain't ever Bea: didn't say you did Fraze: If I invite you out it's worth going and I did Bea: alright Bea: we can see Bea: not like homework is much to compete with Fraze: Cheers for ranking me above it, know how much of a swot you are Bea: shut up Fraze: Like to see you try and make me Fraze: just keep counting, babe Bea: easy Bea: you're clearly working hard enough to lecture me Fraze: Thought you might be missing Miss Bea: you're the one who wants her to be your first cliche Fraze: Nah, just 'cause she's missing me don't make it mutual Bea: 😏 Fraze: what can I say? Pleasure to have me in class is all hers Bea: definitely not the rest of ours, like Fraze: I'm well gutted I don't make your day Bea: Obviously Fraze: Yeah Bea: I'll survive Fraze: you and me both Bea: thank god Fraze: I told you there's no need to tell me shit I already know and how lost you'd be without me falls under that Bea: you reckon Fraze: Obviously Bea: Mm Bea: anyway Fraze: 😏 Bea: shame all these bottles can't go missing Fraze: but a few of 'em could Bea: you reckon Fraze: don't you reckon? Bea: I don't wanna fuck over your dad Bea: but I am doing stock so realistically Bea: one or two wouldn't be missed Fraze: one or two ain't gonna bankrupt him Fraze: it'll only matter to us Bea: okay Bea: I'll put them behind the bins, don't forget Fraze: I won't Bea: I ain't sharing with every fucker either Bea: make it last just me and you okay Fraze: 'Course Fraze: they ain't sticking their necks out, that's me and you Bea: right Bea: exactly Fraze: we'll ditch 'em easy Bea: always do Bea: though they're pretty persistent, give 'em that Fraze: Pleasure of your company, babe Bea: 'Course Bea: never mind if they get a sniff of booze or cigs Fraze: there's the secret you wanted then Bea: Yay Bea: let you off for telling me what I already know there as well Fraze: Playing nice for as long as the stolen goods last, yeah? Bea: I'm doing the actual stealing Bea: you gonna snitch? Bea: doubt that Fraze: fuck off Fraze: I ain't that cunt Bea: I know Bea: I'm saying, I don't need to play nice Fraze: You don't know how Fraze: It's why I'm miss' fave even though you get all the gold stars Bea: 😂 Bea: don't make me laugh Fraze: why not? Fraze: we ain't in that much trouble Bea: because I don't wanna Fraze: come on Bea: why? Fraze: why not? I asked that first Bea: Because I'll look insane Bea: in here on my own Bea: stocktake isn't the height of hilarity Fraze: stop before you get hysterical, like Bea: har dee ha Bea: you're never that funny, boy Fraze: You never get me in that good of a mood Bea: who does Fraze: I'll let you know when I meet 'em Bea: so sweet Fraze: shut up Bea: no, I mean it Bea: so adorable Bea: 💘 Fraze: and I mean it, shut up Bea: so sensitive Fraze: don't take the piss Bea: calm down Fraze: don't fucking tell me to calm down either Bea: jesus Bea: what's the issue Fraze: what's your issue? Bea: Nothing Bea: I'm fine Bea: you're being weird Fraze: You're being more of a bitch than standard Bea: Not really Bea: you're being more of a pussy Fraze: No I ain't Bea: sure Fraze: I'd be a pussy if I let you bullshit and didn't say fuck all Bea: What's your point here? Fraze: Why do I need one but you're a twat for the sake of? Bea: I ain't but whatever Bea: this has been boring for too long Fraze: Yeah, that shit we can agree on Bea: great Bea: happy days Fraze: what do you want? Bea: nothing from you Bea: I am going to see if I can go Bea: homework would be a better use of my time Fraze: He's a pushover, mention a deadline and he'll be convinced Bea: Yeah Bea: I've met him before Fraze: One of those involved, toddler chasing da's, like Bea: Not old though Bea: or a total cliche Fraze: Let him know, there's worse ways to point score Bea: tah Bea: I reckon I've got this Bea: you get in trouble much more than I ever do Fraze: see you later then Bea: TTFN Bea: I'm taking the bottles Fraze: whatever Fraze: they're yours Bea: I mean you don't need to try and get them in the car with your dad Fraze: like I was worried Bea: I'm not asking for a thanks, I'm just saying, they're gone Fraze: alright Bea: ✌ Fraze: Go do your homework 🤓 Bea: you as naive as your dad? Fraze: don't be stupid Bea: then don't take the piss Fraze: so sensitive Bea: so funny, you Fraze: I keep telling you Bea: Trust me, I know Bea: you've got more planned than talking tonight, yeah? Fraze: I ain't planning on doing any talking Bea: then I'm still in Fraze: you weren't ever out Bea: so sure Fraze: yeah Bea: well Bea: you know there's nothing better to do around here Fraze: obviously, I live here too Bea: 💔 Fraze: You sound it Bea: not as much as you Bea: gutted Fraze: Nah Bea: mhm Bea: 👑🍀 Fraze: Have a drink, it'll make you less of a wind up Bea: brave Bea: I could drink through your share Fraze: Like I said, its yours Fraze: I didn't do fuck all Bea: you would've if you could so Bea: only fair Bea: I didn't get the cigarettes or drink earlier did I Fraze: whatever Fraze: we didn't get to drink much earlier, barely counts Bea: need a better spot Bea: somewhere between home comforts and hiding from cops/nosey concerned citizens god knows where Fraze: I'll think of something Fraze: like you said, don't need my 🧠 for what my da's got me doing Bea: still more fun than double english, yeah? Fraze: Well yeah Fraze: 'course Bea: so no need to complain, like Fraze: I'm just saying, I'll sort it Fraze: no more interruptions Bea: no more wardrobes Fraze: don't need neckache and a headache, like Fraze: it ain't gonna keep me off school tomorrow Bea: have as much chance as growing pains Bea: no sympathy for your plight Fraze: they are fucked though Fraze: not that you'd know Bea: don't take your rage out on me Bea: you can reach the top shelf Bea: there are no perks to being small, lurch Fraze: 'course there are Fraze: you can get away with loads of shit Fraze: just 'cause you look cute Bea: well you fucked that from the off being born a boy Bea: no one would be calling you cute Bea: maybe your ma 💕 Fraze: 😂 Bea: 😏 Fraze: you home yet? Bea: yeah Bea: still a while before the others descend Fraze: give the cat a swift kick for us before they do Bea: I'm not committing animal abuse for you Bea: I won't feed it, because I'm certain it does not need it Fraze: shit partner in crime you are Bea: excuse you Bea: maybe we should go over the approved and not crimes, like Fraze: too late for that, ain't it Fraze: you know too much to just be replaced Bea: you're really gonna murder me to end it all Fraze: don't take the chance Fraze: behave better than that snitch of a cat Bea: 😒 Bea: you've got more chance 💀 me than telling me to 'behave' Fraze: lucky I don't want you to then Fraze: tonight'd be proper boring Bea: yeah? Fraze: yeah Bea: your friends ain't MY favourites but Bea: bit harsh from you Bea: they'll be 💔 Fraze: don't make me laugh Bea: come on Bea: why not Fraze: you got out, I'm still pissed at you Bea: no you are not Fraze: already aced one test today, fancy your odds? Bea: it's subjective Bea: no proving it either way Fraze: take me at my word that proves it Bea: but you're also saying you still wanna go out later so that contradicts it Fraze: I don't have to like you to have a drink with you Bea: but you do Fraze: don't flatter yourself Bea: fuck off Fraze: you first Bea: why are you bothered Bea: you don't mind being at the pub Bea: I know your dad ain't working you to the bone Fraze: Still don't compare to being home alone doing whatever you want Bea: don't worry, not like I've got time to throw a massive party Fraze: not like you would Bea: you don't know Fraze: bullshit Fraze: I know you Bea: obviously not Fraze: are you kidding yourself yet babe 'cause you ain't me Bea: you're such a dick Fraze: why are you bothered? Fraze: you don't need to impress me Bea: I'm not trying to Bea: I'm telling you how it is Bea: you're rude Fraze: to you 'cause you are to me Bea: oh yeah 😂 well special Bea: you're a delight to everyone else Fraze: unless there's a gun to your head, feel free to fuck off then Bea: I have Bea: be more mad about it Bea: not gonna be here when you're back, easy Fraze: What's your problem today? Fraze: you were alright earlier Bea: yeah well Fraze: What? Bea: forget about it Fraze: So you can avoid me, fuck that Bea: I don't appreciate being called a loser by you Fraze: I never said you were Bea: Bullshit Bea: you've been doing nothing but Fraze: Bullshit Bea: whatever Fraze: it's not Fraze: I ain't mates with no losers, you know Bea: well you don't like me do you Fraze: Don't be thick, it don't suit you Bea: Couldn't if I tried Bea: but thanks, that was ALMOST a backhanded compliment Fraze: Shut up, I just said I like you Bea: good Fraze: You gonna stop sulking now then? Bea: I am not sulking Bea: quit whilst you're even Fraze: Whatever Fraze: Are you gonna run off when I get back or not then? Bea: No Bea: dead giveaway, your dad ain't that much of a pushover Bea: your mum needs to see we're in before we ain't Fraze: so you are scared of her Fraze: knew it Bea: again, no Bea: idiot Bea: I'd just rather not get caught Fraze: we won't Fraze: she ain't caught me out doing anything for ages Bea: let's not get hyperbolic Bea: 🐈 managed it today so Fraze: yeah but if my Ma had been home she wouldn't have given a shit what the cat was doing Bea: maybe Fraze: come on, you know she'd have been in and out well before my da Bea: that has nothing to do with how clever you are Bea: or stealth Bea: so don't be cocky Fraze: never said that one did Fraze: I've got loads of other examples though Fraze: probably half of which you were there for Fraze: it ain't being cocky if you can back it up Bea: 😏 alright Bea: the others are back, Joe was on wrangling duty alone so he's in a good mood Fraze: always is Bea: yeah but you forgot, they had play rehearsal so he had to stick around for that joy 😬😂 Fraze: 😂 Bea: they're STILL singing Bea: even if I wanted to do homework Fraze: come walk with me, he's letting me off Bea: you need a chaperone too? Bea: okay Fraze: armed guard, like Fraze: that much of a troublemaker Bea: shh Bea: you're making me laugh and I don't want to encourage any of 'em Fraze: 🤐 Fraze: hurry up then Bea: alright alright Bea: lemme put my shoes on Fraze: you better I ain't carrying you home Bea: weakling Bea: I'm SO small, remember Fraze: it ain't 'cause I couldn't, princess Bea: well that's just mean Fraze: we've called a truce for now, like Fraze: don't mean I'm gonna play that nice Bea: however will I cope Bea: 🙄😏 Fraze: the booze will help Bea: your da recruited you for promotion? Fraze: would if he was smart Bea: trademark it Bea: not sure its an original concept but can work around that Fraze: 👍 Bea: be outside, I don't wanna hang about, like Fraze: alright princess, calm down Bea: k I'll get murdered Bea: you live with that Fraze: I'm not gonna let anything happen to you Fraze: don't be dramatic Bea: when the audience demands it Fraze: what? Bea: you're all about the dramatics, don't lie Fraze: you got my mates with you then? Bea: they didn't come knocking askinf if you could come out to play, no Bea: sorry Fraze: well there ain't any audience to worry about without 'em Fraze: I don't reckon you're that sorry Bea: I don't think you are either Bea: that's more of a story Fraze: if I wanted to piss about with 'em, I would Fraze: I picked you Fraze: end of story Bea: to me, yeah Fraze: I don't owe 'em fuck all Fraze: don't worry about it Bea: do my best Bea: bless 'em 💔 Fraze: you don't know how to do anything else Bea: thought we weren't playing nice Fraze: it weren't a compliment Fraze: sounds fucking knackering to me Bea: that's why I do it, not you Fraze: cheers for falling on that bullet, babe Bea: not for your sake or anyone's but you are welcome Fraze: I know it's for your own sake Fraze: I ain't that much of a div Bea: Good Bea: bit awkward if not Fraze: you ain't the only one who wants to get out Bea: I know Fraze: good Bea: not long now Bea: grand scheme of things Fraze: how'd you work that out? it's ages Fraze: can't believe Da had you counting Bea: Shut up 😂 Bea: so we're about half-way Bea: it's called optimism Fraze: halfway is only nearly done if you're half arsing it, babe Fraze: that's realism or whatever Bea: Stop being pedantic Bea: 🤓 Fraze: I dunno that one, like Bea: trust me, you do Fraze: come on, what's it mean 🤓? Bea: excessively concerned with minor details or rules; overscrupulous. Fraze: 😂 Fraze: you reckon I care about rules? Bea: when it suits you Fraze: I do everything to suit me, why wouldn't I? Bea: Exactly 😂 Fraze: What the fuck are you doing, any slower and you'd be dead Fraze: it ain't that long of a walk Bea: I didn't just drop everything to run, God Bea: I'm basically there Fraze: Legit or the same as how you reckon halfway is nearly done? Bea: 😑 Bea: I can turn around Fraze: don't though Bea: I won't Bea: don't like wasting time, yeah Fraze: I ain't forgotten Bea: Good Bea: [show up hoe] Fraze: [when you can't stop yourself from smiling when you see her though cos that's just how it is Bea: [gurl same even if that wardrobe situation was awkward we all know you're about it] Fraze: [passes her the 🚬 he's been smoking while he waits cos we know she ain't got any] Bea: [nudging his shoe with hers like tah when she takes it, also probably start walking 'cos a pub isn't an ideal place to chill outside of] Fraze: [strutting together but we all know they have to take a detour because fuck going straight home, should we say playground or shop?] Bea: [let's say playground] Fraze: [always here for that, on you go lads, get amongst those older kids you shouldn't be hanging with but are] Bea: ['how'd you break your glasses then?'] Fraze: [shrugs cos he never wants to talk about fights that don't go perfect for him obvs] Bea: [a slight eye roll but changing tact 'when even, then?'] Fraze: ['the other day' be more vague boyyy] Bea: ['when are you gonna drop it on your mum?'] Fraze: ['dunno, depends if Da grasses us up for earlier or not'] Bea: [nods like true life, you know he wouldn't lmao] Fraze: ['I'll tell her tonight if he keeps his mouth shut, like'] Bea: ['gonna bother making up a story or you just gonna ride out the nag?' be thinking 'we had PE today, could say they got broke then'] Fraze: ['see, this is why I picked you over those useless fuckers' nudges her as he says it] Bea: [😏 but genuine under it, nudging back 'could lob a ball in your face for extra realism, if you like'] Fraze: [😏 back but then a genuine little lol] Bea: ['take that as a no' as she's going through park gate] Fraze: ['take it as I ain't as sure of your aim as you are, babe'] Bea: [scoffs 'if that were true, you'd be happy to let me try, duh'] Fraze: ['Fuck that, I'm saying you'd go too far 'cause you've been waiting for the chance to hurt me, not that you'd miss'] Bea: [evil smile like damn you got me but shakes her head and heads for an available swing] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah I keep saying I know you and throws someone off a swing so he can have the one next to her #truelove] Bea: [we all love a swing moment] Fraze: [soz random kid but she ain't your bae] Bea: [at least it won't be an actual kid this time of day lol, should be wearing school skirt for that moment of letting it fly but not showing your knickers, aka a dangerous game] Fraze: [yassss] Bea: [casual see how high you can go contest always] Fraze: [we should let her win cos he'd hate that but also be impressed af obvs] Bea: [heheheheh] Fraze: [he can jump off further though that'll please him] Bea: [yeah you don't need to be doing that in whatever lowkey heels you tryna wear to school bitch] Fraze: [don't hurt yourself bab] Bea: [there should be dickhead teens doing something dickheadish 'cos always] Fraze: [100%] Bea: [they'll have to walk away anyway 'cos not sharing their spoils so byebye] Fraze: [run babies run, take her sleeve and go boy] Bea: [that backpack be rattling a girl came out prepared] Fraze: [boy gotta offer to carry that cos gentlemanly you know] Bea: ['I managed this far, like' but gives it him anyway 'cos you may as well honey] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah that's the point it's my turn now cos you've done your share] Bea: [gives him a look like cute] Fraze: [gives her a look like shut up] Bea: [lil lol] Fraze: [another genuine smile cos happy to be with the bae] Bea: [just talking about whatever shennanigans he missed at home] Fraze: [and he's filling her in about shit she missed at the pub it's like honey how was your day lol] Bea: [god bless 'em] Fraze: [when they are already a better couple than drow] Bea: [at least that's a ways away for everyone rn 'cos no one is less here for it than Bea] Fraze: [thank god ro and ali are living their best spooky kid lives rn] Bea: [they might be about to get separated tho? like soz] Fraze: [not yet I don't think cos it's when they 11ish and we said Rocky ain't born yet here but soon lads] Bea: [a few years then, defs living your best lives] Fraze: [we also need to think of a place for them to hang out like the hideaway way back when lol but more legit] Bea: [yes, like an allotment or a dump/wasteland moment, something not yours but shelter is there] Fraze: [that's 100% the vibe I was thinking too] Bea: [unless I can think of anything more specific we should go with that, I know in certain spots 'round here cars get stolen and left a lot so they could probs chill in them as and when they're found] Fraze: [oooh that's such a mood] Bea: [contaminate a crime scene honey] Fraze: [lol crack on kids, you know he's gonna open the door for her like a gentleman bye] Bea: [just giving him a look that's like amused like she's so over it and he's silly but also like oh and a LOOK 'cos we know] Fraze: [shamelessly giving her a LOOK back cos when has he ever given a fuck everyone knows he's in love with her at this point] Bea: [checking all the compartments in case they missed any good loot but probably not, maybe there's a lighter though] Fraze: [I approve wholeheartedly cos they'd be buzzing] Bea: [such sweet babies] Fraze: [I just keep screaming inside cos they're so young but crack that bottle open boy] Bea: [I hope you took something paletable girl] Fraze: [we know she knows her shit thanks creepy old dudes of the past] Bea: [truly, and can handle it so no embarrassing moments on that score] Fraze: [literally she'd be better than him on it but his pride and need to keep up would stop him from being cringe either] Bea: [you got this boy, she wouldn't let him get schwasted anyway lbr] Fraze: [not when you've gotta go home and tell Tess about your glasses boy] Bea: [exactly so they won't be knocking it back hardcore just taking that edge off sweaty] Fraze: [it's always one of those days for you two, we get it] Bea: [especially when you had a moment in the wardrobe lol] Fraze: [we all know he hasn't stopped thinking about it since it happened, god bless] Bea: [we should do a drinking game like best day/worst day but not that 'cos he knows lmao but like your funniest mem etc] Fraze: [it can just be happy ones we don't need to hurt ourselves] Bea: [keep it light lol] Fraze: [but don't think about how close him and Joe used to be and all those cute mems] Bea: [exactly it'd still get feelsy and emosh 'cos life they've been living but it isn't like let's go deep into the trauma] Fraze: [#bondingmoment cos you obvs aren't close enough you two] Bea: [its coming boys] Fraze: [imagine the texts from his friends that he's shamelessly ignoring rn] Bea: [boys are so highkey for the squad at that age] Fraze: [and you know he's #leaderofthepack of his school mates that are similar age to him so] Bea: [exactly dr phil] Fraze: [can we do another moment or is that flying too close to the sun?] Bea: [we absolutely can they obvs happen a lot] Fraze: [realistically who do you reckon should instigate it cos might be relevant in the aftermath] Bea: [hmm literally either or not to be annoying about it lol] Fraze: [maybe she should cos then she can also stop herself cos remember those younger years and he can be like wtf] Bea: [solid logic I'm wid it] Fraze: [bonus points if she stops herself before anything's really happened at all cos that bitch like its v subtle and other peeps might miss the cue but he be knowing cos he's that bitch] Bea: [yes absolutely hence you'd feel more awks bringing it up 'cos you could just gaslight him like what are you chatting about lol] Fraze: [literally cos you know that would've happened before on both sides] Bea: [mhmm, bonus of 'we were drunk' when you ain't even] Fraze: [you both know neither of you are even tipsy lads shut up but don't because so real]

[insanetwocubes]

Well, this one is... difficult.

Phew! I thought you were going to berate me again.

Sorry. I only berate you for things that are frustratingly easy.

But I know you don't have the same privileges that you gave to me.

Okay. So what does my genius daughter have to say about the matter.

Well. I wanted a relationship because I was lonely.

All this love, like, builds up and if we have nowhere to put it, it just....

So is it loneliness?

Well, it doesn't really make sense for you. It makes sense for me. I'm a social butterfly, an entertainer. You, though, you are content to be alone.

That, I am.

Yeah.

But it's also. Sometimes... I can't really know, y'know. Denial goes deep and I'm not really well-versed in my needs. I'm not really sure.

No, with your lifestyle, I'm sure. You have to force yourself to be alone. That's something that doesn't happen if you need to be otherwise.

Hm.

What do you think about cat owners?

What, like getting a turtle?

No, like in the dream.

The dream? Oh. That guy. Uhm. Am I supposed to have an opinion or...?

No. Just wondering if you think it might mean something.

Not really. Back on topic, though. Do you want a girlfriend?

Do I want to handle a relationship right now? Fuck no! I want Four to shut up.

You can't make me!

Love you!

Gross.

Well, I realize there's a need there, but it's throwing me for a loop.

That's. Hard.

So what's your input?

Why does Four want a gf?

Not sure.

Hm.

Four!

What!

Come here! We're talking about something.

Y'all having a family meeting without me? What's up with that?

Hi, Four.

Hi, favorite.

Ahem!

Hello, Emillie.

King. Care to explain this girlfriend thing to us?

Well. A girlfriend is a person-

Four, this is serious.

Okay. Okay. So this girlfriend thing. I think I'm just going off of what you were doing, Emillie.

Yeah, but something changed.

Something did change.

Flare makes me want to be alive again. Wherever she goes, I go. If she wants to hang in this dumb physical world, then I guess I do, too.

Okay, we know that. Then what's this girlfriend thing?

I agree, it has to do with this love thing.

Why has it been ramping up recently?

Well, one theory is that now that the humans problem is making progress, the brain is taking it as a green light.

Then it would have to be a need we always had.

Another theory. Is that anything else, since Flare didn't have the privilege of experiencing what you did, Em, is less valid.

Whoa whoa whoa! Don't look at me like that! I never said anything!

It has been a chronic problem for you.

Why are you guys ganging up on me?! I didn't even say anything!

Emillie, sit down. Flare, no one is ganging up on you. We're just trying to figure this out.

Do you have a validation problem, Flare?

You make it sound like there's no right answer to this.

Emillie, sit down.

I am sitting.

Flare, my love. What do you think?

What do I think?

What do you think? We're talking about your feelings. What's your take? Lead us to the first step.

The first step?

I believe in you.

Okay. Okay. I guess it's time to ask for help from you guys.

Uhm. So. Let me see. I do see the pattern you guys are talking about. Sometimes, Four, when we're together it doesn't feel like...

If a tree falls....

Exactly. If a tree falls and no one validates it, what's.... not the point but what's.... does it even count?

And you're not in a relationship to be validated, but....

But... yeah. It's. I mean don't get me wrong. I love you. So much. I can't contain myself. And you know we get up to things-

Gross.

-even off the public. Or whatever.

But uhm. There is a need. Not that you're there to fulfill that need, you know I really, truly, so much, love you, but...

You need to earn the right to exist.

For all of us.

So this isn't even a girlfriend problem. This is our right to exist problem.

Oh. Ohhhh okay okay.

Uhm. So. What do you think the solution is to that?

Ha!

Solution?

That's not fair. It was a legit question.

Flare, there is no solution. It's a feeling.

What do you think you should "do" about it, Flare?

Flare be like, "well, what do I do about it?"

Hahahaha!

That's not fair. Can you guys help me with this one? I'm not sure....

Flarichka. My love. You have to give yourself the right to exist.

I'm... how I do that?

Just give it. Just like you give it to us.

What, like, acknowledge it?

*nods*

That's it?

This isn't like advanced chemistry. Tell yourself it's okay to be happy where you are. At least in terms of this relationship.

Yeah, well, it doesn't make sense, though.

Hm?

Because success depends on knowing people.

So know people. You know how to do that. You don't have to make actual friends to have a working relationship with someone.

Yeah, but isn't that kind of... isn't there something missing?

Is there?

I'm asking. Is there?

You have to tell us.

Well. I don't have too much time. And I am focused on a lot of things. And I'd like it only if they help me do all that y'know? And sometimes being so different is like pulling teeth. I'm never really enjoying it. And I really only want to be left alone. And every time I interact with them, it feels like I have a gun pointed to my head. And everyone. Everyone tells me how much I need it but it's just so annoying.

But. I have to, right? To make money. Or something. I have to, don't I?

I feel like I have to. Or else it will be a lot of work. For me. I have to unmask and form genuine relationships if I want to pay for everything.

Flare.

Hey hey hey. We'll figure it out, okay? We'll figure it out.

I just don't want to die.

We won't. I promise. We won't die.