#tali zorra vas reema

[thewheezingbubbledragon]

More Mass Effect with Bro: Because I think it's fun

Jacob's estranged dad who is a commander on a ship and the other officers once they crash on an unknown alien planet: *sees that eating the food causes neural decay and general degradation of one's faculties* Yeetity skeet, we aint gonna eat.

Bro: *dies*

Me in a terrible Canadian accent: Oh, Commander Shepard didn't survive eh.

Jacob's dad, who is the most terrible disgusting human ever: I'm not sure when it all went wrong.

Me: I do; you existed.

Bro: Miranda wear some pants.

Bro, in a high pitched voice: I am wearing pants

Bro: Wear more.

Me: we jus' gon yeeteth the sceneth.

Mass Effect Producer 1: We need a setting for this side mission... Somewhere remote but intriguing...

Mass Effect Producer 2: I got it!!! Derelict ship!!!

MEP1: Genius!!!

Me: why the frick are there so many derelict ships in ME2 wtheck.

Me: everybody's loyalty armour just makes them look more emo.

Jack: What are we doing here?

Me: if she's asking about the meaning of life I have no answers

Bro: 42.

Me: ...

Me: you right.

Bro, examining the crispy friend prune decaying bodies of dead people: how did... Y'all are into some weird stuff but

Me: they went out in the sun too long. They raisin.

Me, realizing that the bodies are high up in the derelict ship we're in: R A I S I N T H E R O O F

Bro: *slightly disgusted sigh* I dont know you anymore.

Jack: my favoeite thing.

Me: murder?

Bro: when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeeling saaad~

Both of us: I simply remember to murder these things and then I dont FEEEEEL: SOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAD

Bro: *dies* OwWiE mY fAcE hOlE

Me:

Bro, joking about weird planet names: The Planet C R A C K and its moons, M E T H, and CRYSTAL.

Me: THEY HAVE AN EVIL CARL*!!!!

(*beeg mechy boiz)

Tali's drone aka Carl 3: *dies*

Me: NOOOOOOO CARL 3!!!! DD:

Bro walking past a corpse: Aw it's a dude. Hes dead.

Me: RIP dude I guess

Krogan reciting poetry to his Asari gf bc he loves her and is a giant romantic dork: I love you so much!!!! ❤

Asari who's got anxiety and is worried about things: but does he????

Shepard, amused and being genuinely helpful: probably. Talk to him he seems sweet.

A: he is and I love him a lot. I'm just worried since he said he wants kids he doesnt realize they'll be Asari...

S: did you tell him that?

A: yes. He was quiet for a bit... and then said he'd love our girls no matter what color they were.

Me:

Bartender Asari lady: Thanks for taking care of that creep. Keeps me from beating him to death with his own spine. Customers tend not like that.

Me: I l o v e h e r

Liara: *exists*

Me: OH MY GOSH IT'S LIARA like she aint best girl like Tali but shes close but also AHHH HI LIARA LOVE YOU

That moment when you and your brother spend almost an hour and a half discussing female portrayals in comics and media in general and end up having him questioning the patriachy but can't say anything bc saying feminism means 'crazy psychos who want all men to die' and you have no backup defense because there ARE cases of that and so long as they exist they harm feminism's image.