#if i think about it too much i'll explode
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#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#yeah so the other day when i said i needed to calm down about arcane?#it was this. i was thinking about appointment of a general#if i think about it too much i'll explode#a more perfect scene has never been concocted in the history of humanity#and that includes the kiss scene and sex scene#the ONLY things that compare are the end of season 1 and caitlyn's execution scene#hhhhhhh okay i'm shutting up before i start going crazy all over again
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help im thinking about roy harper too hard again... he's a bleeding heart that never hardens! he loves so openly and generously again and again no matter how many times it hurts him... he's not afraid of fights or hard conversations or tough love, he won't let people push him away when they're isolating or self sabotaging. but when it comes to himself he is always so careful not to ask for too much, to take what he's offered and leave the doors open. he has an iron grip when he's saving someone else, but such a carefully loose grip when holding on for himself. how do you keep loving, when everyone always leaves you? gently, with your heart already broken, like you're holding a butterfly in the palm of your hand.
#dc#roy harper#i'm gonna explode if i think about him too much#im working on a (way too long and incoherent atm) post abt dick and roy and marriage that i'll post eventually#but i currently have too many thoughts and feelings about roy that are not wanting to be condensed neatly#mine: dc
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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My overarching thesis r.e Captain America and stucky is that you can't love Bucky and hate Steve or vice versa. They're a matched set. They're as much each other as they are themselves. They're their own fleshed out individual people and the beating heart of each others' story.
#stucky#steve/bucky#idk what the kids are calling it these days but it will always be stucky to me#I've been thinking about this way too much recently so if I don't express it to someone I'll explode
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[SSR] Rosienne Minuit - The Rose Festival
after many tears, the main star is here!! 🌟 or, Rosienne's card for my fan event (which is also, technically, his hometown event)
surprisingly, he's not in a dress this time, but i saw the coat on Pinterest and couldn't resist myself. the yellow is, of course, a reference to Belle because one he deserves to be the main character for once and second because i wanted to drive home that he's got some inspiration from her too
[ voicelines under the cut // mention of @cheerleaderman's Astrid ]
Summon Line: Ah, you should be careful around here. Wouldn’t want to get your fingers pricked by the roses, would you? When Summoned: You better not slack off, Prefect. We have to get everything ready on time. Don’t look at me like that. I’m the boss here, I can lay down. Groooovy!!: [locked] Home: How was it like growing up in a castle like this? Well, cold, mostly. Home Idle 1: I’ve been helping my dad run this place ever since I was a little kid. You can probably find lots of embarrassing photos of baby me in period clothes. Home Idle 2: Back in middle school, I never really invited any of my classmates to the festival. It’s kind of nice to do so now, you know? Home Idle 3: Somebody falling for you even despite your monstrous appearance, such a beautiful tale! That doesn’t happen in real life, of course, but it’s fun to indulge from time to time. Home Idle - Login: Yes, yes, I know, it’s weird seeing me in such bright colors. You don’t have to say it. Home Idle - Groovy: [locked] Home Tap 1: That dress looks spectacular on Astrid. Who knew he could look anything other than a sad medieval orphan? Home Tap 2: I invited Silver mostly because I’ve expected him to look real prince-like in here. And he does! His face is great at driving more guests in. Home Tap 3: My dad’s been so excited to meet my friends… and I’ve been stressed somebody will embarrass me before him. Home Tap 4: Despite her name, it is said that the Beautiful Princess valued inner beauty more than the person’s looks. I’m sure a certain someone could learn from her. Okay, okay, that was a joke! You don’t have to go repeating it to him! Home Tap 5: Riddle’s took to teach people historical tableside manners. Usually, only our staff knows so much about this sort of stuff. I’m kind of impressed. Home Tap - Groovy: [locked]
Duo Magic
ROSIENNE: You better not fall behind, pretty boy. VIL: Oh, I'd rather worry if you can keep up.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#twst fan event#pomefiore oc#💌 art#🥀 rosienne#ngl im quite proud of this one#tho if i have to draw ONE MORE ROSE#i'll explode i SWEAR#anyways!!#i rlly hope i'll be able to make the cards for józia + the canon boys bc ive got their outfits designed already and#im quite proud of the designs too!!#im having so much fun with this is what im trying to say#tried not to push my own oc x canon's because this is an open event and all but i allowed myself to get a little indulgent with#the duo magic lines <3#okay secret tags lore tm but#ive actually been thinking about rosie calling vil pretty boy as an insult back when they still didnt like eachother#and then it turning into a term of endearment over time.........#ugh i feel SO normal guys i swear
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Badass
#this is messy but i feel no requirement to clean it up because of aforementioned art slump#i lied before about not being consumed by dndads anymore. if i think about link too much I'll explode i love him so much#i lied again its actually true about not being as brain rotted about dndads anymore#augh#anyway#mispelled draws#misp draws#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads fanart#dndads s2#link dndads#lincoln li wilson#lincoln dndads#lincoln boss kicks
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I know in the grand scheme of things that this is by no means a lot, but it doesn't stop me from being FLOORED by the reception of my Rayllum Month stuff?!?! Like these PROPORTIONS are NUTS to me and I'm just over here in my bedroom sobbing my eyes out that my stuff (apparently) resonates with people the way I really want it to.
(^ the proportions in question)
Like, out of 895 people, and SO FAST (6 days, as of my posting this), 15 subscribed and I've got 79 kudos?! And 16 bookmarks?! AND 17 PEOPLE CARED ENOUGH TO COMMENT WHAT THE HECK?!?!?! I'm an emotional mess you guys and ik it's not a lot but it means EVERYTHING to me that people like my writing and I just CAN'T-
#side note if you saw me post ch4 of it NO YOU DIDN'T#it was an accident but it'll be up in a few hours i pinky promise#the people i've met in this fandom are so genuinely amazing#like i actually can't think too long about interactions i've had otherwise i'll start crying (happy tears i swear)#so THANK YOU guys#i'm just a small town girl livin' in a lonely world and frantically making rayllum stuff to cope#like writing is so much to me and the fact that people like it always makes my heart explode#we do this for free! because we like it! and people care enough to get personal and interact and I LOVE FANDOM SO MUCH#brb crying in the tub#tdp#the dragon prince#rayllum#my fic#fic: i'm gonna marry him if he keeps all this up... i might just be in love#yk what?#FANDOM APPRECIATION POST#APPRECIATE PPL WHO WRITE AND PPL WHO MAKE ART AND PPL WHO COMMENT#AND EVEN JUST SHY PPL WHO DON'T COMMENT I SEE AND RESPECT AND LOVE YOU
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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KNOCK HIS ASS OUT EURYLOCHUS
*wild cheering from the crew*
#ask#eurylochus my beloved#listen LISTEN. he's such a fantastic tragic character. i can't think about him too much or i'll explode#mutiny animatic
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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me trying to stay sane when i see some Fandom Shit that makes me mad
#sometimes i dont think you guys actually like the characters you say you do bc some people project so much its not even the same character#like some understanding is so Painfully surface level or just completely disregarded or straight up purposefully misinterpreted#i hate fandom i hate fandom i hate fandom#just because i try to avoid it doesnt mean i dont still see it#like id LIKE to engage with fans on a larger scale...it always bites my ass in some way tho#like i believe in having whatever fun you want to have with the media of your choice whatever. that wont stop me from bitching about it tho#i need more girl likers to engage with me...fandom likes men too much and will bend over backwards to babygirlify them#a girl will be the main character but people will still find a way to only talk about the men around her. not even the other women there#its just so BOOORRRINNNGG!!!!#some of us like to treat pre established characters like puzzles to be solved#and others just like to use their skin to put on whatever traits they want#like you do you but couldnt be me#ok bitching over#it speaks#if i dont let it out i'll explode#ranting in tags my beloved
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if you haven't used skycrypt but wanna participate just for fun, the website is here and the themes are in the top-right corner. if you're on a phone and dont see the themes option, turn your phone sideways :]
and if you have multiple just pick one of them :0
#i dont think anyone cares about this too much but i wanna see what happens anyways lol#been a long time user of sky.lea.moe but lately i've been using sunrise orange. Big Fan of orange#i thought the text was a bit hard to read when i picked themes tho. but looking back at it it's not too bad#i think the skills strain my eyes slightly more then the lea one but. small price to pay for such a nice shade of orange#chat#sb#tbh i just want something to do. im suffering rn i need to keep typing or something before i explode#so my solution to this was a poll. maybe i'll find something else to do too idk :P
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#Asking bc like idk it feels selfish to make a dtiys of my aus#Feels very self centered hghhhh#But like if people don't like that then they just wouldn't participate right?#And also it's...my blog yunno#I think whatever results from this poll I'll start another poll more indepth about the drawing from the winner of this one#Like start going into character specific stuff#I have . Too much anxiety#I might get too scared and not do a dtiys at all#This is just hypothetical at the moment lol#Explodes into a million pieces
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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had a dream last night about a post-canon hadestown au where orpheus, deranged with grief, begs hades to eternal sunshine of the spotless mind him because he can't live with the guilt of his twofold betrayal of eurydice (he let her go. he failed to bring her back.) so hades strips him of his memory and transforms him into a black dog—one of his personal hunting pack, his errand-dogs and message-runners and border patrol. obviously a bad fit for orpheus, but without love or memory or anywhere else to go he has no choice but to fall in line and do his worst
meanwhile, eurydice is making ends meet as best she can in a hadestown struggling to return to the status quo after her failed escape—working during the day, plotting a rebellion at night on the sly with her fellow workers, and fighting to retain her memory and her selfhood and her very name as they all slip away under the underground's influence
scene opens on a workers' bar after hours, eurydice gathered with a few compatriots sharing drinks and talking strategy, when the door opens and a small crowd of silent, black-uniformed men and women with amber eyes and too-sharp teeth file in—
(does eurydice recognize the last man in line, his eyes too bright in his thin, gentle face and his hands awkward on his glass as he turns it around and around on the bar but doesn't drink? does he recognize her?)
(is it too late?)
#f: htown#chatter#i'm NOT going to fic this. but imagine it with me if you will. take my hand. life could be dream#anyways just a little peek into My Twisted Mind. it's werewolves of one kind or another all the way down babes!#my commitment to turning an unattractive pointy-faced man into a Thang and a Creechur is unparalleled and always has been#however i think there's something here about despair and reactionary radicalization and divestment from progressivism maybe#something something who is permitted to divest and does that divestment actually serve you and loss of selfhood in service of a cause#but i'd have to think about it more. and there's already too much going on in above/below a fic that i'm never going to finish#so whatever. whatever.#it is actually so crazy to me that this blog has been shuttered for the entirety of my time in the hadestown fandom#ANOTHER ship i have to reblog all the art for or i'll fall over and explode! god! reactivating was a mistake.
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I can't even really explain what it is about Anton's voice that I like so much. But I like it. It's good.
#just the tone of his voice and his way of speaking and such. I am very very bad at explaining this type of thing but just. go listen to it#it's. warm? I guess. kinda rough but not really. deep-ish but not DEEP. idk. comfortable sounding to me :)#also thinking about his subtle (south??)eastern US regional accent again...#it's so nothing but I like it. the way he says certain words in some of the clips is good on my brain#''want'' from the ''I'll even explode if you really want me to'' clip. and the ''bomb'' he says just before it (very slight 'a' sound)#''blast'' and ''pieces'' from ''I'm gonna find out who did this and blast em into teeny tiny little pieces''#''either'' from the unused ''I don't wanna be here either'' audio file#idk. this is probably me being very weird. analyzing too much#I simply think voices and language are very neat :)#<- guy who got a degree in communications bc he likes understanding the way different people talk about similar things and why it matters#not exactly linguistics but in a similar vein. to me.#roz posts#♡: 🔨🎰🥃
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