#if i heard that song live i think id combust

[man-i-love-folklore]

shoutout to whoever made this sign at the concert last night because i am laughing my ass off right now (and also ur right)

[hopeless-starry-kingdom]

off the table | Peter Parker

summary: you find yourself contemplating if love is off the table for you

a/n:part 2 of Drivers License

Song: off the table by Ariana Grande ft. the Weeknd

Will I ever love the same way again

Will I ever love somebody like the way I did you

Never thought you’d be so damn hard to replace

After that day in school you knew it was officially time to let Peter go. He didn’t want you anymore. He said it himself, it was time. So you cried when you burned all the pictures of you two in your fireplace and took a pair of scissors to anything he ever got you.

You grabbed a hammer and smashed the ring he bought you as tears flowed from your eyes. You tore the head off the teddy bear he won you at the carnival. And trashed it all. You then spent the rest of the night crying into your pillow.

You stalked Gwen’s instagram and twitter before MJ caught you doing it and blocked both of them for you. You were grateful for that becuase you didn’t know how many more instagram stories you could take of her showing Peter off.

I swear I don’t mean to be this way

If I can’t have you, is love completely off the table?

Do I sit this one out and wait for the next life?

Am I cold or am I not nice?

You tried your best to dodge them at school. It proved easier said then done becuase it seemed wherever you went, so did they. People still spoke about what happened. It was the hot gossip since the stunt you pulled in class. People hated Peter Parker and were starting to take a dislike in Gwen. You didn’t mean for that to happen but it felt nice to know people were on your side.

“Yeah, in the girls restroom by the north side, in red lipstick on the mirror, Gwen Stacy: Homewrecker. That’ll show her.” MJ shrugged and you sighed.

“That’s now how I wanted it to happen. I kind of feel bad now that everyone hates her.”

“Yeah, well people are taking your side. They know Peter left you for her. They know Gwen was trying to get at Peter while he was with you. In my opinion they can both suck—”

“MJ.” You warned and she threw her hands up in surrender. “Just saying.”

Might not be quite healed or ready

Should I be going too steady

But I just wanna know, is love completely off the table?

“Okay, Danny from Lacrosse said you were hot. So I gave him your number.” Your head snapped to your best friend as you sat in chemistry together.

“MJ, what the hell? Why would you do that?” She sighed and took the beaker from your hand and poured the green substance into the clear one.

“It’s time to move on, Y/N. It’s been two months. You got rid of all his stuff, you avidly ignore them at school but you’re not completely there yet. Maybe it’s time to get out there again. Danny is pretty hot with a good body. Oh, and I heard he has a decent—”

“MJ.” You warned and she laughed. “Just saying it’s useful to know.”

“I don’t know I just feel... should I wait? You said it yourself, I’m not there yet. Is love off the table for me?” You asked but it was more so a question for yourself. What if love wasn’t in your cards as of now. You weren’t healed yet and what if getting in a new relationship was a bad idea?

“Listen all I mean is go on one date. See how he is, i’m not saying to ask him to marry you.” MJ squeezed your shoulder and you smiled at her.

“Yeah, i’ll think—” Just then a boy came in the door. And jesus christ was he built from the gods himself.

“So it says to pour—” MJ turned to you and seen you stare at the boy as he walked over to the teacher. She smirked and nudged your arm.

“Or forget Danny and get his number.” She blew out a tiny whistle as the teacher stood to face the class with the mysterious boy in tow.

“Everyone id like you to meet our new student Harry Osborn.” The name had everyone whispering. The Osborn name was just as notorious as the Stark name. Osborn’s were rich as hell with their own company and Harry Osborn was known for being thrown out of every private school in New York, according to the Daily Bugle for a different circumstance at each school.

You couldn’t help but blush and look down as he walked down the aisle and sent you a smirk. MJ almost combust when she saw the interaction.

“Jesus, he might as well just take you to the restroom and—”

“Oh my god, MJ. You’re so embarrassing!” You whisper shouted and she laughed before going back to the assignment. Curiousity got the best of you as you turned your head to get another look at the Osborn. And to your surprise he was already looking at you.

Not even two weeks later you and Harry were the new talk of the school. He held your cheek gently as you were pushed up against the locker. You giggled as he playfully kissed down your cheek. You heard footsteps coming and became scared when you thought it was a teacher. But your heart stopped as Peter came around the corner holding a restroom pass. He stopped short when he seen the position you were in.

Harry had looked between the two of you when he saw how you pulled away from his touch. Peter cleared his throat and continued his walk.

“Maybe we should go back to class.” You offered and Harry sighed before grabbing your hand. Even though he was a cocky and arrogant boy, he definitely had his moments where he was sweet.

“I can wait for you. I know you’re not healed completely from the breakup. I’ll wait for you, even though it always feels like i’m number two.” Your throat got right as tears blurred your vision. You didn’t ever mean for Harry to feel this way. But it was hard.

“But you have to let me in. I can give you what he couldn’t. I can love you harder than Peter Parker ever did. If you let me in, let me in your heart, I don’t think love is completely off the table.” You sighed as you wiped the stray tear that fell.

“Think about it.” He kissed your forehead before walking away. You immediately ran to the bathroom and rested your hands on the sink. You sniffled as tears continued to flow.

“Cmon get yourself together, Y/N. Peter doesn’t love you, he probably never did. Harry is here. Harry will be there.” You walked into the stall to grab a few pieces of toilet paper and stopped short when you seen writing in black marker.

“Ladies watch your man before Gwen steals him.”

You reached up and tried to scratch it off but it wouldn’t budge.

Peter and Gwen were together now. They were dating. Peter loves Gwen now, not you.

“Peter’s dating Gwen. He doesn’t love you anymore.” You whispered.

Not yet healed already

Should I be going too steady

Just wanna know, is love completely off the table

You were let up by Harry’s doorman. You knew Harry’s father was rich but you couldn’t believe how luxurious their place was. They had a penthouse at the very top and as Harry explained it, it was worth millions. You hoped his dad wasn’t home either, you weren’t quite ready to meet the famous Norman Osborn. Harry didn’t talk much about him and when he did it was always short and meant with a small eye roll.

You knocked on the door and after a few short seconds a small lady opened the door. She smiled at you and you smiled back.

“Hi, is Harry here? I’m Y/N. I know he wasn’t expecting company but—”

“Nonsense, come in. Harry has mentioned you a handful of times to me. He’s in the movie room, let me go fetch him.” You smiled at the blonde woman as she walked off.

You began to look around the house and you were truly in awe. You’ve never seen such a luxury home. You were afraid you’d dirty the expensive carpet with your used Vans. You seen the balcony door open and stepped outside. New York became louder as you looked at the city lights.

“Woah.” You couldn’t belive you were this high.

“The views nice.” You snapped your head around when you heard the young Osborn. “But personally I like the view in front of me.” He smiled cheekily and you scoffed with a smile.

“Y/N, are you stalking me?” He stepped closer with a smirk and you shook your head. “You mentioned you lived on the street so I took a guess on which was the most expensive. I was right.”

“I actually came to talk to you about what you said.” Harry gulped and nodded. He was fully prepared for you to say you needed more time and/or you still loved Peter and could never be with him.

He walked up to the railing and busied himself with the ring on his finger. “What about it?”

“You were right, Peter and I, we’re done. It’s over and i’m okay with that. He hurt me but i’m ready to move on. It’s gonna be hard to let someone in again but you’re right I don’t think love is completely off the table for us.” Harry smiled and grabbed your face gently. His cold rings sent a shiver down your spine as he seemed to look into your soul. He smiled down at you and laughed.

“I like the sound of that.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You reached up and ran your hands through his curls as you deepened the kiss.

It didn't seem like love was completely off the table.

[daggerzine]

Celebrity Mixtape Party #1 with Steve Michener (Volcano Suns, Dumptruck, Big Dipper) Part 1

Steve (far left with Big Dipper) 

Mixtapes. They're back! Or maybe they never went away? What happens when you make a mixtape for someone who MAKES music? And then they talk about that mixtape? Well, dear reader, let's find out in..

Okay!  First song. Side A. So I'll give my impressions and then we can talk about the song. Okay? Then the reveal, when appropriate.

Sexy

Thanks for this tape, Matthew, I've really been enjoying it.  However, I gotta say the first song is my least favorite.

What is it pray tell

I don't know but I usually love that style of song.  Very Love/Byrds-y but there was something cloying about that hook of 'Let's Get Together'

Oh yes. Justin Trouble.

Can't tell if it's authentic 60's pop or revival

Early '80s. He was friends with Johnny Thunders.New York City area guy

Never heard of him but I'm not inspired to search him up. Too many words.

Aw man he's just riffing

Anything you wanna say in his defense?

I mean I could. I think that song and the whole record is genius. To me it's the very essence of rock and roll.

Okay, maybe that's just one song that I wouldn't like. I'll check it out. I know you love your 60s stuff  but to me it's just too twee. But if you were using this as a "courtship tape", the relationship is over.

Since we can't "get together" on that song?

Courtship tape. I think they were called love mixes back in the day my friend.

I'm older than you. We used to bring them and play them in the parlor. So this second song is right up my Alley. Great guitar sound, great drummer.  I love that it's poppy but it takes a minor key/dissonant turn when he sings the tagline 'Solid Gold'. Kind of a Fall vibe to that hook.

So what is that second song?

Boston band....Real Kids...1974 demo...EARLY REAL KIDS

I knew you'd get a Real Kids song on there but that is very 'Unreal' real kids.  Sounds like they were way ahead of their time

Yeah. That song is unhinged. Nothing twee about it.

Amazing band.  I would have maybe guessed that but that chorus is so left field.  If I knew about that song back then, I would have had the band cover it. Real Kids sounding like the Fall. They should have been as big as the Ramones.  Worse drug and ego problems I guess.

To me it sounds like The Dolls. A little bit of Glam in there.

I saw them a few times at the Rat.  Always a reliable live band. I hear the 60's thing in there but that turnaround into the chorus is at least 5 years ahead of its time. I need to hear more of those demos.

It's on vinyl.

Next song- One thing that I know about you is that you love your 60s stuff.  This sounds like an authentic acid rock band. Roky?

I don't have the tracklist

Ah, okay.  It's by Girl Trouble-"Storm Warning'. Don't know them but I love the song.

The pride of Bellingham

Kind of like the Seeds meet Nick Cave. What year?

1993 on Empty

Love the sax and guitar interplay at the end.  Wow. I would have placed that in 1965

Yeah except for the production. I think he's one of the Great rock and roll vocalists of the '90s

Yeah, great singer.  Are they still around or mutate into something else?

Kurt Kendall. No, I don't think they really play around much anymore. There was a reunion show not too long ago but I missed it.

Great stuff, I'll check it out. Next song? Okay, this one I knew from the first note--the great NRBQ. The greatest rock and roll band ever, at least in this incarnation.

Green Lights?

Yes.

I saw them around this time with the WW Horns, opening for Thorogood.

Another great vocalist

I didn't appreciate them back then cuz I was too into the alternative scene (tho still loved GT) but when I saw them in the 80's I was amazed.

This is a band that should have played the bar band in every '80s movie ever made

Exactly. ��they were my template for 'a band'

That's Joey singing that one? favorite bass player ever, favorite drummer ever.

I'm not entirely sure what that guitar is in the solo. Sounds almost like a pedal steel or something.

Big Al could make anything sound like anything.  Genius band. Shoulda been huge.

The YouTube comments say Joey.

Yeah, Joey wrote the hits. Like most bass players.

Lol. The album is called nrbq at Yankee stadium and it's funny because the picture shows an empty Yankee stadium with them far away in the bleachers...a play on words...clever

I see.

I'll explain humor to you another time.

Make me a 'humor' mixtape

Okay next song

The 5th song on side A is called Buried Alive.  A 3 chord slab of brilliance.  Sounds like another Boston Band.  More Real Kids?

Hmmm

Should I peek?

It could be Avenged Sevenfold. Yes peek.

Oh no, it's the Nervous Eaters!  Born to Die.  I thought he was singing Buried Alive.

Ahhh!!

I knew it was Boston, can't believe I missed the Eaters.  Loved that band.

Another Boston band you didn't ID! You are 0 for 2

I wrote down it was "the Lyres without keyboards" so I get half credit.

Okay so one of the cool things about this band is it had one of the Paley Brothers. Who never did anything this "heavy" outside of this band?

I had their singles and saw them live a few times.  They were great. Just Head is a classic.

The major label debut was a bit of a disaster:  slick production, terrible cover art. I swore that I'd never let that happen to any band that I was in.

This song for some reason reminds me of Judas Priest.

I thought Saints at first but Priest would work

Next song?

Ok

This is one that I will probably miss too. Sounds VERY familiar and my first guess is Rockpile/Brinsley Schwarz.  "I'll have another drink and then I tried to crawl out the door.."

"I never did know a thing about it." It's got that Nick Lowe/Dave Edmunds vibe.

Take a peek

Status Quo-Lies

Ah yes

Wow, I don't think of SQ sounding like this. This is pub rock, I thought they were harder

Very boogie

Don't you get the Rockpile thing tho?

Oh absolutely

Great song.  I'd cover this. Was it a hit?

That status quo song is from 1980. I think so. They did it on Top of the Pops

Good. I'd be depressed if a song that great didn't get an audience.

Agreed

Next?

Yes

I also don't know this and I'm not sure what the hook is but it sounds like what I imagine the Muffs sound like. Be my baby.?  Sneering female vocals, 3 chords, loud guitars.

Fastbacks - Read my Letters

Yeah, another band I completely missed out on.  From the PNW?

Seattle

I've seen them quite a few times and they were always amazing. Big fan.

I'm sorry I missed them live. I don't care much for this song but I'll bet it sounded good in a sweaty club.

Ok

Did you like the Muffs?

Not really. I mean I respect them a lot but they never resonated with me. I think Kurt Bloch is a great lyricist. And I love that he didn't sing his own lyrics.

Wait, that was a guy singing?

No. The guitar player Kurt wrote the lyrics for most of their songs.

Got it.  So he left them to join YFF?

He did both simultaneously. Kim Warnick is the singer and bass player.

Too talented.

Definitely.

I saw the Fellows quite a few times also.

They opened for us in Seattle in 1990. I loved them but, as an east coaster, had never seen them.

Also amazing one of my favorites. During that time that both the Fastbacks and the Young Fresh Fellows were active it made me envy Seattle because Portland didn't have bands like those bands.

This is a different convo, but Seattle is a much more rockin town than Portland.

Full disclosure in the '90s I was not a fan of Portland's music scene. But I did like Hazel.

They were so cute!

Alright, let's not get distracted!   Next song I recognized easily , though I may not have a few years ago.  This is Sparks - Something For The Girl Who Has Everything. Brilliant band but one that I missed out on until recently

You know I never introduced you at the beginning of all this. Dear readers, I am discussing a mixtape with our esteemed guest Steve Michener from Skid Row.

Skid Row UK, legally. Not to be confused with those dorks from Hollyweird. Michael Cudahy was my roommate back in the day and he was way into them. I could never get past the vocals.Recently though, I have come to appreciate them and now I am a big fan.

I love the vocals. It's its own thing. Who is this Michael you speak of?

Michael was in Christmas at the time and then started Combustible Edison.  Now he does movie soundtracks.

Have you ever seen the video of Ron Mael singing karaoke to a Sparks song?

No, I'll google it.

Next song?

Ok

Well, I didn't recognize the song itself but it's hard to miss the unique guitar sound of The Wedding Present-The Boy Can Wait

Fastest wrist in the west

Trademark double strum. They're one of those bands that I just love the sound of but never bought any records.

That's a Peel session by the way.

They were around last year but I failed to attend.

I like the lyrics. They're clever. Kind of misanthropic but not in a Morrissey way. More humorous.

I'm not a lyric guy but I do love a good Morrisey couplet

The dude could pen a tune

Stephen I mean

Moz

The Moz

Himself.

He should pull a Prince and just change his name to Himself

Next song is one that you would never get past me, tho I'm 0-2 with Boston bands before this.  Heading into a Boston binge here.

Ok. Just another band out of Boston

I was the world's biggest Peter Dayton fan for years.  I moved to Boston the week that LaPeste broke up so I never got to see them.  So I made up for that by seeing every PD gig for years. 'She's a Girl' by LaPeste, probably one of the best bands out of Boston ever.

I like how evil La Peste sound. They sound like they carried shivs.

It means "the pest"

Perfect

"la" is "the" in french

Waow

I don't know if you knew that. Anyway, this must have been an Ocasek demo?  Sounds like they were trying to go pop. I had a live tape of them from the rock and roll rumble in 1979 that I wore out. Just a great pop punk band. Next song is also LaPeste- Die in My Sleep.Ric got involved with them later in their career and produced some demos.  Or maybe it was Greg Hawkes.  But Ocasek worked with him solo for a few years.  Dayton's EP, which came out the same time as Panorama by the Cars. It's a fun record.Better off Dead is an amazing single.

I'll check out solo Dayton.

Jim Janota on bass. I think he was in some of those early boston punk bands

But Ric was the producer guy then . Alan Vega etc

Yeah, Ocasek was cool.  He had Dayton's band open for The Cars at the Boston Garden.  Big supporter of smaller bands.

Next two songs had me stumped. I just wrote 'Sex Pistols'.

I would never put a sex pistols song on anything ever. But I do love a lot of things that Cook and Jones were on later

This just has a Pistols energy and sneer. Hey Hey! Hey Hey!

Hmm

3 chords, English. Fall-like but harder.

Not ringing any bells

Ha! I looked at the list--Naked Raygun-Roller Queen.

Yes

"trying" to be british

Nooo

I tuned this band out early.  Not my cup of tea.

I love the Raygun. Midwest thing

Just like Soul Asylum.  I was (and remain) a judgemental asshole when it comes to music.

Hard. Arty. Humorous.

I lump them together.  Prejudice.  But this is why I like the idea of listening to the tape blind.

Throb Throb is fantastic

It can blow up my preconceived notions  or reinforce them. I know they were hugely popular in the scene and it's probably my loss that I didn't explore their stuff. I was probably reacting negatively to the Big Black thing.  Lots of competition and jealousy-fuelled listening bias.

Eh no biggy. I never really liked Big Black. To me they were great in theory but not in practice.

I prefer Shellac

Great band

But i think BD covered 'Bazooka Joe'. Not my idea.

There was another Chicago band from that time that I like a lot called Breaking Circus.

Yes, I liked Breaking Circus.  We played with them.

Yay

Next song. 60s sounding psychedelia

Ok

Didn't recognize it, but liked it. reverby guitar,

Hmm

La Luz- I Want to Be Alone. Cool sound.  What's their story?

Ah. Seattle. Then moved to LA. 4 women. On Hardly Art (label). Started in 2012. They have three lps. Saw them at The Aladdin.

Short but sweet. I'll check them out.

Very very good band

I like good bands

No bad songs. They were VERY GOOD live. Jealous of the drummer's speed and dexterity. They play with a lot of feeling.

If we ever get to see live music again, I'll check them out.

You need to.

Next song is a classic Boston number called 'No Place Like Home' by The Neighborhoods. Such a great power pop song. B-side to Prettiest Girl, which was probably the biggest indie single of the time in Boston.  That and Academy Fight Song. Both on Ace of Hearts records

Oh really? Nice that I got airplay in Boston. I mean it. I didn't get any airplay in Boston

Yes, it was huge! (sorry about your lack of airplay)  top song on WBCN, the local rock station. They should have been huge-they had it all.  Cute guys, great songs, amazing live show. I woulda bet on them

Despite looking like a reggae album I've read good reviews with their first LP. The thing with a lot of these bands is they're from a time when there were regional scenes period and if they didn't make the jump to Major label then a lot of what they were about might have been lost on people outside of their scene

Honestly, I don't remember that LP at all.  Maybe I had dropped them and moved onto hipper stuff. They were kind of a high school crush for me. They got progressively more hard rock as time went on. Yes, probably a common theme with local bands. Some focused on getting a 'deal' and making it big.  Thank god for labels like Homestead, who gave smaller bands a chance to make mistakes and grow

If you had any anecdotes about any of these guys share away.

Anecdotes? I do

'dote away

Dave and Lee worked at Harrington's Liquor, the biggest booze shop in Allston and were always in there when I went to buy cheap vodka. Then, one day, they were fired. Word was that they tried to lift some expensive champagne from the shop to celebrate a record release party or something.  They were both dating members of Salem 66 at the time and Dave married Judy.  They were very nice guys.

Lee?

Lee Harrington, Beth's brother was their bassist in the late 80's. Beth Harrington was in Jonathan's band.

That's a good anecdote.

Jonathan?

Richman

Oh I thought I recognized her voice from Jonathan Richmond records. She was a backup singer. She had kind of a classically trained sounding voice

Yes, her and Ellie Marshall. Beth married my old roommate, whose girlfriend when I knew him, left him for Steve Forbert.

Ellie Marshall was related to who?

Something related to Paley Bros. It'll come to me.  Barry Marshall.

The next song is the Office Supply song. Swivel Chair. I don't recognize the song but it's gotta be something like Fountains of Wayne or Weezer.

Nothing Painted Blue

Oops. Hope they aren't insulted!  I kinda knew of NPB but obviously didn't get into their stuff.  Sounds like a certain pop band from Boston in the late 80s. Where were they from?

Franklin Bruno. Great songwriter in my opinion. Great band. LA

Oh, I know Franklin.  Of course.  I confuse them with that band from Boise

Franklin bears a slight passing resemblance to Bill? Cool that you know Franklin.

Well, on FB at least.  Very nice guy.  He's probably gonna unfriend me if he reads this.

I can edit it out. Celebrity mixtapes is about bringing people together, not about fighting.

No, it's fine.  It's part of the process. I'll take my lumps.

Ok

I just thought it was a little bit of a novelty song.

I just think it's adorably nebbishy

Not that we didn't veer close to that sometimes. It's a risk when you are trying to write songs that have humor in them.

Singing about office supplies. One of my favorite things about Big Dipper is you guys never crossed over into parody even though you were slyly funny.

Yeah, it def sounds like something I would write. I was an office supply nerd.

Maybe I sensed that. Dilbert Rock

Thanks. It's a fine line between clever and stupid, as the Tap says. Anyway, super catchy but maybe a little too clever for me.

NEXT!

Next song has to be Scrawl. Apple of his Eye.

Nope

Very Gang of Four with female vocals.

I did like Scrawl back in the day though. Bratmobile-Queenie.

Ah, well they should write a check to Sue and Marcy. Sounds like early Scrawl. Catchy song but a little derivative to my ears.

Yeah Scrawl predates the Bratmobile.By a few years.

You could steal from worse.

True

Scrawl were an amazing band.

Pride of Columbus

Really had the goods live and on record.

Never saw them live unfortunately.I always thought they were on Homestead but it turns out no.

You had your Homestead goggles on.

"I like everything that comes out on Homestead..."

Well that was me back then too

Last song on side A.  Permanent Wave.  No idea who it is, a short, catchy, new wave song.  Mo-dettes?

I do like the Mo-Dettes but no.

Oh Ok. From Athens

Ah!  i had their single, was this on it?

Michael Stipe's sister

Sister of Stipe

Matthew Sweet was in the band for a minute too, later on.

I bought it, I think, cuz I thought I could resell it when rem got famous. Retirement investment

I think the single and the lp are both amazing

Kind of twee, to revisit a theme

The lp is not as twee

That song sounds a little thin

I like the production. it sounds live.

I see that. Okay, I've gotta run.  This was fun.

Ok. Thanks for doing it.

https://www.mixcloud.com/matthewkenneth9/steve-michener-mix-pt-1/?fbclid=IwAR2hhMS8KXo51QjlpJ__ANfdmKY3Ux7vRyIqHHOxGfY_UK4H6tz6vIXyaxE

[silvensei]

In This Mad Machinery

A human and an android swap bodies, resulting in identity crises, existentialism, philosophy with the boys, and fun!

Detroit: Become Human | gen | 20k | rated T | introspective comedy/sci-fi

Chapter 7 (3k words) | [AO3 link] | [first] | < prev 

- - - - - - - - - -

Even though it wasn’t something he normally did, Hank called Sumo to hop up on the couch with him. The dog hesitated before heaving himself onto the cushions, lying with his head pressed against Hank’s legs. He smiled and absently scratched his ears as he took a swig of beer. Another warning popped up on his HUD, declaring, (CAUTION: Ethyl alcohol detected. Combustion will raise core temperature by est. 0.06°F. Further consumption NOT RECOMMENDED.)

“Yeah, yeah, fuck you, too, CyberLife,” he muttered as he put the bottle back on the table and returned his attention to the TV. Information about the movie, its actors, its reviews, similar films, subtitles, alternate dubs, and everything under the sun scrolled by his vision. Instead of canceling it, though, he decided to just let it happen. Why not. He turned on English subtitles and changed the audio to Russian in his head just for the hell of it.

He was planning to just hang out for the rest of the afternoon, messing with his search function, maybe downloading a VR game or something (if he even could; surely, he wasn’t the first to think of it), but he eventually got restless. He didn’t even know androids could get restless, although it might be because of his very human attention span. Shitty movie anyway.

His countdown from earlier had continued in the background. It notified him when only an hour remained, reminding him that since the estimate varied by up to an hour, they could now switch back at any time.

Hank stood up, stretching his arms to the ceiling. It didn’t feel refreshing, and he got a notice advising against overextension. “Don’t know what I was expecting,” he said to Sumo. Sumo also stretched, taking over his spot and most of the rest of the couch.

He sounded like Connor. Which was obvious, of course he sounded like Connor, it’s Connor’s body, but he sounded exactly like him. Listening to his own body talk all day from an outside perspective made him realize that his voice wasn’t what he had always heard. According to his computer brain, he normally heard a mix of the sound of his voice and the reverberation inside his head from his vocal cords. Connor’s ears, though, canceled the reverb in order to hear his voice as the world did.

That seemed like such a minuscule thing. How was that going to make an investigative android investigate better? They could do that but not build in better taste buds?

Holy fuck, he was an android.

Throughout the day, the realization had hit him again and again, but it still never lost its potency. God, it’s like all those Eighties body swap movies with a sci-fi twist.

Hank shook his head, turned off the TV, and went into the bathroom. He held off on flicking the light switch for a moment; in the dim room, his LED cast a faint yellow glow on the walls.

The pop of the lights as they lit up heralded the illumination of his reflection. Frankly, he was surprised with himself for not looking in a mirror yet, the brief glances in the car mirrors while he was distracted by Connor’s silence notwithstanding.

Even though he fully knew what to expect, having a different reflection for the first time in ever was still jarring; ([serv].exe(26) non-responsive: rkcomp001; cebf014; cebf121; opt006; srvm338f; […]) appeared in the corner for a brief millisecond. In the mirror, his LED flickered.

The first thing he coherently thought was that his hair was messy. Not really, but compared to the immaculate state Connor normally kept it in, it looked a bit…wrong. He reached up to shape it into place, receiving another uncomfortable twitch in his head from stalled processes when the Connor in the mirror copied him. Combing his hair back, it seemed to fall into place more easily than he expected. What was android hair even made of? (Translucent fiber optic – silica-fiber nylon composite) After critiquing his image, he even pulled that one tuft of hair loose to hang over his forehead.

He should be feeling something more. Running a hand down his cheek and barely moving the skin, noting that having darker eyes made them look bigger, entranced by some morbid curiosity, his stomach should be doing somersaults, goosebumps prickling his skin, something. But the most that happened was a twitch of a servo, a slight hiccup in the data running through his thoughts.

Hank frowned. It wasn’t technically a look of disgust, but it was still the most disgruntled that Connor had ever looked.

He was not comfortable with how indifferent he was feeling. He hadn’t felt this apathetic since….

“Shit, kid,” he said, stepping back from the mirror and crossing his arms. “No wonder you all flipped out when you started feeling things.”

His LED flickered to red, at which point Hank turned off the lights and left. It was beginning to mess with his head too much, much more than he was prepared to handle in a body that couldn’t get drunk.

The bedroom door was half-open. He considered checking on Connor but immediately dismissed the idea; he’d had enough of out-of-body-induced vertigo for one day.

The sun was starting to dip in the sky, casting a warm gold through the windows. Sumo slept sprawled out on the couch, as content as a dog could be. Hank smiled at the peaceful sight as he brought the beers into the kitchen. It was cozy. Maybe he should take a nap, too. Nothing much else to do at the moment. Androids don’t sleep, though.

Enter low-power mode?

Yes       No

“Huh. Maybe.”

Inconclusive response

Yes       No

“Fuck you.” Despite himself, he chuckled. What was he doing. Why was he a robot. It’s pure science fiction.

Setting the bottles on the counter, he noticed a coin lying on the corner (US quarter, 0.25USD – mint 2020). One of Connor’s, probably. One that he does tricks with to calibrate. He had always wondered how and why that was.

He palmed the quarter as he returned to the living room and settled in the recliner. His thumb flicked it into the air a few times as a test. It was something he could normally do, something simple, but it initiated a predictive program. The coin’s path was highlighted, his hand moving slightly out of his control in ordered to follow through with the catch. Hank didn’t thoroughly enjoy that part.

Rolling the coin over his knuckles, a (Calibration complete) popped up on the HUD. Nonetheless, he flicked it to the left, deftly catching it with his other hand. Back and forth, increasing in speed as he went, Hank almost laughed at how easy it was. It’s just simple physics to a computer brain, and what it lacked in emotional everything, it surely tried to make up for in physics.

He caught the quarter between two fingers. He nodded. “Neat.”

He tossed it onto the coffee table, it landing exactly where his HUD had circled, and turned on low-power mode with a thought. Responses from his senses slowed, the already-quiet room somehow becoming quieter, the colors dulling and shifting to warmer tones. It was like a dream state, a conjecture that was only reinforced by the slightest delay in motor functions.

This ain’t so bad, he thought, kicking up the footrest on the recliner and crossing his arms. Computer-induced chillness. Some music would make for a perfect relaxed evening, especially after the unexpectedly-disorienting day he’d had. Did androids’ search function work for music, too?

It sure as shit did. A widget opened from the left with a search bar and a list of example queries. He was connected to loads of free databases (with others available after signing in with your user information), allowing for searches by song title, album, year, genre, BPM, producer—the whole nine yards.

How ‘bout an album, he decided, and the search restriction applied. Something Eighties or Nineties, both from his childhood and the dwindling end of the golden age of music. In English or without lyrics, maybe something at least platinum. Something that would be a nice complement or conclusion to the day.

At that last thought, the current list of (many) results was replaced by a spinning wheel. He felt something running in his head alongside the search, and after a few seconds, the key words Science fiction, Technology, Saudade, and Family appeared. Hank was thrown for a loop wondering if he should take that as an invasion of privacy when the results came back with only two albums, listed in order of release. Somewhat impressed at its efficiency, he selected the first, hoping to keep it quiet enough to not wake Connor. (External sound system MUTED)

…or that worked, too.

A rhythm of low, imposing notes (F♯) introduced a song he had heard before. Good song. He leaned back and turned his gaze to the soft pale orange ceiling, playback controls and scrubber bar superimposed over the bottom.

This certainly was quite the day.

Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He’d had a field day with his new tech, like the world was at his fingertips, and Connor uncovered some leads to help him figure out his life. Did he regret that it had to end? Also a ‘hell no.’ It was neat and all, but he was better suited for human life and the more leisurely, contained existence it yielded. Visiting android life was fun for a vacation, not something he’d want to make permanent. Like Florida.

He snickered. If only Hank from a year ago could see him now. What an obstinate bastard he was.

As the fourth song was ending, it stuttered, his limbs clicking lightly as they locked. (Transfer requested by 313248317_53. Initiating in 5s.)

And that was that. Shame he couldn’t get through the rest of the album. He’d have to find it when he—

- - - - - - - - - -

Rebooting…

Nexus-7 detected; terminating VM…

Initializing 313248317_53…

Systems check complete: 100% – Fully functional

Network online ID: ************ Lisc: *************** Credentials validated

Resuming suspended programs…

Previous state: low-power Restart in low-power mode?

Yes       [No]  

Resuming

Connor blinked.

He was looking at the plaster ceiling of Hank’s living room, lying 61° from vertical in one of the chairs (ceiling position indicates RECLINER). His clock announced that it was 7:48:11.2 PM GMT-5 and that he had gone offline due to a complete data transfer initiated thirty-five seconds ago. (CORRECTION: RK800 went offline, running [unknown] prior to 313248317_53)

A drumbeat sounded, fading in on a crescendo. He noted the playback overlay on his HUD which indicated the music came from his own systems. It had resumed from its stopping place before the reset; must’ve been Hank’s doing. He paused the song.

He felt compelled by narrative trends to take a breath to indicate contentment with the end of a journey and/or hardship. It only alleviated slight stress on internal cooling systems. All was back as it’s always been.

A long, boisterous yawn sounded from the hallway. Hank shuffled in, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “Well, that was weird,” he stated. “I was awake, then cut right to waking up without any of the ‘sleep’ part in between.”

“Welcome back, Lieutenant.” Connor couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he could look at Hank and see normal, long-haired, perpetually-tired, human Hank. It felt more natural that way.

“Back to some peace and quiet in my own head.” Sumo picked his head up enough to glance at the two of them before stretching and nuzzling into the cushions anew. Hank sat on the arm of the couch, running his thumb over Sumo’s paw. “How're you? Everything left in working order?”

A notice reminded him of his system status retrieved a few minutes ago (100%) and asked if he still requested another scan. He declined. “Yes. And you? Feeling okay?”

“Feeling rested and ready to go. So.” Hank raised an eyebrow. “Do androids dream of electric sheep?”

“The question still stands as to whether I was an android when I was in your body—”

“And we’ll nitpick shit tomorrow. Just answer the question.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Lieutenant, but I don’t think I did.” He had some difficulty remembering the last hour, like the memory was missing frames and full of artifacts. “I’m pretty sure you asked me this earlier after I couldn’t sleep and came back in here, remember? We went back to watching TV before your girlfriend walked in with Sumo and his puppies—wait.” His processor stuttered; the memory didn’t fit in with the rest of the timeline. Hank didn’t have a girlfriend.

Hank wore a shit-eating grin. “Sounds like a dream, there, kiddo.”

“I….” Time was linear from a single perspective, with only a single degree of freedom along any timeline. Where should this anomalous memory be stored if not in sequence? It was almost paradoxical to the very function of system memory. He blinked. “What am I supposed to do with this information?”

“Do with it? Back to being an android for like five minutes and you’ve already got your mood ring in a frenzy.”

“I can’t help it! It contradicts my systems! I understand dreams are the vague recollection of subconscious imagination, but I wasn’t designed to accommodate for… I wasn’t….” Something clicked—yes, an electromechanical relay in his head, but more importantly, something figurative. He blinked and looked away, at some space above the coffee table. “I wasn’t designed for anything,” he realized. “I understand what a dream entails. I understand the concept fine. It’s CyberLife’s programming that can’t parse it, that—that can’t allocate it.”

He heard Hank shift on the armrest. “Get it now?”

“I….” He had found a disconnect. It was like he had deviated from his machinery instead of just his programming. Living as a human was something he had experienced but was incompatible to an android system. “I’m going to need some time to think things through,” he said when the silence grew too long, “but maybe.”

“Well, congrats.” Sumo stretched again, this time curling up and freeing a cushion for Hank. “Sounds like today’s been a success. Mission complete.”

‘MISSION COMPLETE’ recognized as termination command – Forward file ‘blbxcomp.exe’ to CYBERLIFE?

Yes       No

“Oh, Lieutenant, the black box recorder!” Connor, after selecting [No], pulled up file details to keep him focused on the new topic; it took him a split second to remember he could multitask again, but he didn’t particularly want to run philosophical introspection in the background. “Should I send it now, or…? Markus pointed out that they may not like that we told him about it….”

Hank leaned back, stifling another yawn. “True. Or we can give them a classic ‘fuck you’ and claim that we were already doing more than enough for them, we can talk to whoever the fuck we want.”

He must’ve noticed the unconvinced, uncertain frown on Connor’s face because after a moment, he crossed his arms and rolled his head onto the couch back, a deliberately-bored gaze directed at the ceiling. “Or,” he suggested. “Or. We just don’t tell them.”

Connor’s frown deepened. “That doesn’t sound very fair. We were given the chance to do this on a quid pro quo basis.”

“We don’t tell them now.”

He blinked. “Lieutenant, I can’t edit an executable file like their recorder without intense effort and noticeable signs of tampering.”

Hank hummed. “I mean, it was sent in an email, right? So, you could just redownload a fresh one and record it again some other day.”

“But to record it again, we’d have to switch again.”

“Mm-hmmm.”

“But—but Lieutenant—”

“Fuck, kid, I dunno, it’s just an option! But you don’t always have to question everything! Maybe someday, you’ll just want a break from the whole android thing for a bit. I know the human life can get kinda boring every now and then. Something to mix things up. It is an option now, though.”

“Lieutenant, I—”

“And we don’t have to fuckin’ Vice Versa tomorrow! Could be the next day, could be next week, probably should be soonish so CyberLife doesn’t get suspicious—although now that I think of it, they probably saw the transfer over their network, so sooner rather than soonish so they don’t start harassing us.”

“I—” Connor stopped, processor stuttering. He took his time thinking through the conversation and coming to terms with Hank’s suggestion that they switch lives recreationally just to “mix things up.” It only took 0.82 seconds. After reviewing the concrete, he considered his own feelings.

And he found that he thought he would like that.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Yes, that should work just fine.” Then he added, “But Captain Fowler said not to be in the wrong bodies at work on Monday.”

An unexpected snort was a harbinger of a fit of laughter, Hank slapping a hand on his knee and doubling over. Sumo startled awake, perking his ears at his owner. His hysterics turned to coughs, almost hacking up a lung trying to snicker at the same time. “Fuckin’-A right, he would! Shit—” he coughed, “—alright, I need a beer, now that I’m not at risk of fuckin’ combustion.”

“Of course.” Connor smiled. His android chassis didn’t feel compelled to join in on the contagion of human laughter, but now he could remember what it felt like. It was comfortable. Warm. Homely. A good end to a complicated day.

After Hank had caught his breath, he pushed himself up and stretched his back. “God, my calves are going to be sore tomorrow,” he groaned. “Maybe I should make you deal with it since it’s from your damn half-marathon this morning.”

“I suppose that would be fair. But I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy that.”

“Well, maybe that’s what you deserve.” Hank’s persisting grin denoted he didn’t really mean it. “Now. Beer. Maybe have the rest of Bel’s ambrosia of the gods in a bit, though I think you left it in the car.”

Connor checked his memory, appreciating how perfect it was compared to the human equivalent. “Yes, it appears that I did. My bad. I was a bit distracted.”

“‘s fine. It’s fine there a bit longer; the thieves of Detroit aren’t that desperate yet.” He walked to the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, “Hey, if you wouldn’t mind, d’ya think you could play the rest of that album? You’d probably like it, too. Can keep it on as a soundtrack to some Saturday night games.”

“Sure.” Turning on external speakers, Connor hit play, bringing the scrubber out of suspension. The crescendo culminated in a couple cymbal crashes, the drums prominent, the guitar with the slightest reverb. (1982 – 112 BPM – Further information?)

He declined. He didn’t need every scrap of information. Folding his hands in his lap, watching Hank take a sip from one of the open beers, look at it, then dig for a new chilled one from the fridge, he felt like just being in the present. Just being in the room instead of in his circuitry. A content smile pulled at his lips as the vocals began to ring through his head, lyrics written decades before, oblivious to his existence.

Nothing to fear but fear itself

Not pain or failure, not fatal tragedy

Not the faulty units in this mad machinery

Not the broken contacts in emotional chemistry

[livingasaghost]

alright folks. settle in. this is the story of how i met taylor swift after waiting 10 years. whew.

i don’t honestly know how to start this bc i never thought i’d make this text post. 

so it all started on tuesday night. i was reading and scrolling my phone as one does, and then i get a text from hailee aka @ootwoodsyet aka my twin.

taylornation sent her a dm and both of us FREAKED OUT. we were cautiously optimistic but i think both of us were like OKAY THIS IS IT! THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR! EVERYONE STAY CALM IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING! so anyway, obviously hailee is the best person in the universe and replied putting my name in as her plus one and then we just texted each other non-stop for like two hours straight. tn replied to her email and asked for our social media handles, my full name, and our birthdays. we could hardly sleep that night, so when we woke up early the next morning we texted each other still freaking out. finally TN emailed back and was like OKAY YOU TWO ARE ON THE GUEST LIST! HAILEE LITERALLY FACETIMED ME FROM HER CAR AND WE BOTH LOST IT. at that point we immediately started making plans bc the next day thursday was the event in chicago. we had no idea when or where it was happening, but we knew we were going to be there. so we started prepping. i had to cancel on a client photoshoot (oops...but i’m not sorry) and uh hailee may or may not have had food poisoning that morning......so i went to platos closet and bought a new dress (velvet, blue, and PERFECT) and then i packed up a bag bc i was gonna go straight from my parents’ house to louisville on saturday for the rep show (wtf). neither of us slept very well wednesday night, and then AND THEN IT WAS TIME FOR THE WEIRDEST BEST DAY OF LIVES.

thursday june 28, 2018 --

i woke up at 7:15 and drove like 8 hours north from nashville to chicago. there was actually a decent amount of traffic that day but at one point i had to take a detour because there was a crash on i65. so on this random detour in southern indiana, a little ways outside of louisville, i was blasting better than revenge and i look to my left and I SAW TAYLORS FACE ON A TRUCK AND I SCREAMED BECAUSE THE REP TOUR BUSES WERE JUST SITTING IN THIS RANDOM LOT

I THOUGHT IT HAD TO BE A SIGN AND UH I GUESS I WAS RIGHT???? i also passed a place called “swifty farms” (what) and of course i drove through taylorsville so um needless to say....it was all meant to be

i eventually made it to chicago at 5:30pm and i picked up hailee from the train station. we flipped bc we literally did this exact same thing less than a month about for the 2nd chicago show and HERE WE WERE AGAIN FOR THE SAME WOMAN soooo we made our way to the first location that TN said to meet at by 7pm. we pulled up at like 6:15 and the parking lot was full but they already had a line of people. after finding a nearby garage to park in, we literally RAN across the way to get in line (it was like 10 minutes and we were so sweaty wow) and then we were in line and we had to go through two different security sections - each one asked for our names and ids. then at the second checkpoint they gave us wristbands based on our ages (i’m over 21) and eventually we went off to give them our phones and bags and stuff. then we were directed onto a greyhound bus and when we got on we legitimately became the most obnoxious people i’ve ever known in my entire life.

when we got on they were playing reputation (duh) and RFI was on so we literally listened through the album one whole time and it was WILD. we didn’t have our phones so we were just freaking out about twitter. we spent the whole time singing along and being totally in awe. the whole bus did 123 LETS GO BITCH during delicate, and thennn during getaway car when she goes SAID GOODBYE IN A GETAWAY CAR the bus MOVED AND WE LEFT TO GO TO THE SECONDARY LOCATION (john mulaney???)

so we drove until new years day came on and then we pulled into this random alley. before we could get up, this CAMERA crew showed up and went to the back of the bus to film us. they told us to be excited so we WERE?? and then we got off and went inside this random venue. hailee and i gripped each other’s hands so hard and then we went down this tunnel with mirrors & screens & then i almost broke down into tears bc it was all so overwhelming. they had so many professional photographers asking to take our photos and then the taylor people were handing out raffle tickets telling us to do stuff. it was like this weird underground area that had these gorgeous industrial bathrooms (with so many toiletries like oil sheets & dry shampoo & tampons & gum & hair ties) and there were arcade games and an led dance floor that lit up with hearts where you stood and there was a skee ball thing where we STOOD ON IT AND GOT OUR PHOTO TAKEN and they had claw machines with merch inside and these HUGE photobooth backdrops (BIG REPUTATION + taylors face + a huge snake) and basically you had to do stuff to get tickets and then you could use the tickets to get free merch! we didnt catch on quick enough though so we didn’t get anything more exciting than a water bottle & a tote (which were still so cool)

so anyway, we did some stuff, got a BIG REPUTATION non-alcoholic drink that was like soda water + blackberry syrup + a lime and it was just okay haha and as we went over to try and get our free merch we heard a THATS TAYLOR SWIFT scream from across the room and basically RAN to see what was happening. and that’s when this wall opened up and uh WE WALKED INTO A CONCERT VENUE AND LOST ALL CHILL

IT WAS SUCH A SMALL VENUE HAILEE AND I WERE IN THE BACK ROW BUT LITERALLY WE SPENT 10 MINUTES HYPERVENTILATING AND SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER!!! there were cameras everywhere, and it was so industrial but there was PIANO + THE SPARKLY GUITAR + THE KOI GUITAR?????? AND HER BLACK GUITAR WITH THE STARS ON THE FRETS!! so we hung out for a while in taylor limbo and felt like we were gonna combust and then AND THEN THE NIGHT KICKED INTO HIGH GEAR AND I SWEAR HAILEE AND I BOTH JUST BLACKED OUT 

THE LIGHTS WENT OUT AND TAYLOR JUST FREAKING WALKED OUT ON STAGE AND I ALMOST BURST INTO TEARS SHE WASN’T REAL BUT SHE WAS RIGHT THERE AND I WANTED TO EXPLODE anyway she wore a green jumpsuit with a huge belt and some cute high heeled booties and uh she was her usual cute self being like HI GUYS WHATS UP there were like 200 people there and i couldn’t get over that!!! this was her smallest show in like 10 years???? AND I WAS THERE??? uh but yeah so she did 6 songs - gorgeous + delicate on guitar, all too well + new years day on piano, and shake it off on guitar. here are some highlights from that set...

the whole crowd did *DING* during gorgeous and 123 LET’S GO BITCH during delicate

taylor said that they were trying to decide if they needed backing vocalists and she decided not to and it turned out they didnt need them because we sung literally ALL the backing parts - like the high pitched “delicate” - we did that

she didnt even finish the last delicate bc we sang it so loud and she just laughed

she was so so SOOOOO comfortable with us like i have never seen her so candid and chill and relaxed?? like she was smiling and giggling and she made mistakes and didn’t even care and it was so CUTE I CANT STAND IT

at the piano she was like “oooh sorry i didnt get to sound check hang on lemme figure this out”

when she sat at the piano she was like “wow my hair’s so long” and how she thought about cutting it for these upcoming florida shows since it’s so hot and then the crowd was like OMG CUT IT or OMG DONT CUT IT and our section was like CUT ITTTT and she looked directly at us and was like mmmmm “you guys dont want it....” and wow i think she looked at me then wowowow

she explained that for all too well it was such an emotional song and she used to hate playing it bc it made her so sad but bc we love it so much now she loves playing it bc it makes her think of us and she was freaking SMILING DURING THIS WHOLE PERFORMANCE!! like the last time i saw her perform it live in my presence was 5 years ago at the red tour in chicago and she was crying but during this time she was LAUGHING AND SMILING

someone sang all to welllllll really terribly and off key and the whole audience fell silent and taylor just looked at that person and laughed and we all lost it

then she talked about writing reputation and how it was so cathartic for her and like she came up with the “there will be no explanation there will just be reputation” rhyme and it was so cool that now she has to stick to it and not give interviews so she was excited to explain to us more about the album

AND THEN she told this story about how 2 new years ago she was celebrating and just like realizing that everyone just wants to kiss someone at midnight but you really need someone to look after you while you’re popping advils the next day 

she played new years day and we were all so emo wow

so then she gets up to get her guitar and we’re all like PLAY THE SPARKLY GUITAR!!!! and she looked so dismayed she was like “guys it’s just a prop it isn’t tuned” and we were so sad we were like TUNE IT!!! and she’s like NO I CANT

so thennnn she’s like “okay so i have one more song” and we were all like “PLAY MORE PLAY MORE” and she said “well, i could play you three more songs ORRRR we could take pictures...” and wow everyone died it was wild 

she played shake it off acoustic and im not okay

then she explained what was gonna happen next and she was like FIRST OF ALL i cant really talk to you since i’m touring i need to save my voice and i’m not supposed to talk and second, we’re doing it in groups of four so make friends bc you’ll get photos in groups of four! 

then as she finished she was like “uh i guess i’ll just go back here? no one really told me what was happening or what to do so...ILL SEE YOU SOON!!!”

as we walked out i saw a girl hugging her friend and crying. relatable. so hailee and i waited for our blue color to be called and went to claim our free merch. after we freshened up, we were waiting and this girl offered us poptarts and we both looked at each other and were like “omg poptarts” soooo then we got at the end of the line for the M&G. we were freaking out and we didn’t know what we’re gonna say and it was so surreal. like, we were gonna meet taylor swift. TAYLOR SWIFT! FUCK

so we’re waiting. and then these staff people come over and ask how many we have in our party (we say 2) and immediately they’re like...i think we have 2 openings over here hang on. so they deliberate, and then we’re being motioned to the FRONT OF THE LINE and we skip like 50 people and OUR HEARTBEATS TOOK OFF! WE WERE NOT ALL THERE! WE EXPLODED! WE WERE SO UNPREPARED TO JUMP THAT LINE BUT WOW WE WERE REALLY OUT THERE GETTING READY TO MEET TAYLOR.

we then were ushered upstairs and they lead us over a little bridge that was above the concert venue. eventually we made it past another security checkpoint and got to this fabric walled hallway where we glimpsed MAMA SWIFT and we almost lost it.

as we approached the very front of the line, TREE PAINE SHOWED UP and was just so sweet and nice and bubbly and we immediately decided to stan her. she was like “wow this is such a beautiful group of people you all look fantastic!” and we were like WOW ITS TREE PAINE and so then THEN ANDREA CAME BACK OUT AND WAS LIKE HELLO WOW YOU ALL LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL!!! and i shook her hand and told her it was honor to meet her and she was so so happy

(this whole time dont blame me and delicate was playing in the background)

((at one point tree was trying to figure out what was playing and i was like ITS DELICATE and she was like OH YEAH YOU’RE RIGHT))

sooooooo ummmmmm then security was ushering us around the corner and into this back area and TAYLOR SWIFT WAS RIGHT THERE??????? hailee and i were GRIPPING each others hands and i almost broke down into tears but hailee was like NO YOUR MAKE UP DONT DO IT YET NOT YET HOLD IT TOGETHER

and taylor (that sneaky bitch i love her) saw us together and basically took a photo with the other 2 people in our group and THEN came over to us to do us separately (!!!) ((apparently according to hailee the at&t lady running the thing was like “what is happening” but it’s taylor swift so she can do anything) so she walked over to us and we kept our cool somehow and i was like “WE WAITED 10 YEARS FOR THIS” and she high fived me and was like “WE DID IT!!” and i told her i drove 8 hours from nashville and she was baffled about how far that was. hailee thanked her for making her more courageous and resilient and we thanked her for the pride speech in chicago and she was so excited we went to the rain show. then i thanked her for writing “invisible” and she looked at me like OH WOW IM SHOCKED she was like “wow no one ever talks about that song thank you!” and i told her it made me feel seen and she was just so so kind and warm and did i mention she hugged us? and she’s kinda tall but she felt like our height and she felt like our best friend? ummm yeah so then the at&t people were like PICTURE and we went over and hailee and i both blacked out like we don’t remember what the background looked like??? i assume it’s the same as it always is but we didn’t notice lol um yeah so i remember smiling for the photo and i LEANED MY HEAD AGAINST TAYLORS???!?!? and then as we were finishing i was like IM GOING TO LOUISVILLE ON SATURDAY!!! and she was like “wow im so excited! i cant wait to be back on tour! i always hate the breaks in between!” and then i was like “CAN YOU PLAY SOMETHING FROM SPEAK NOW” and she was like “oh maybe” but she looked so disinterested i was thinking TAYLOR COME ON ITS SPEAK NOW and then i said i love you and she said i love you i think and then we got out and wowowowowowow

tree paine was there again and we were like OMG THAKN YOU CAN WE HUG YOU and she was so sweet like YES OF COURSE!!!! (um @tree-paine you are literally the kindest i would die for you) anyway hailee had a letter for taylor and she asked tree if someone could give it to her and tree was like i’ll put it in my back pocket!! and then we left and we kept thanking people as we walked out and that is the story of the greatest night of my life.

thank you to at&t and to hailee and to @taylornation and of course to @taylorswift wowowow i never thought this would happen to me and it did IT REALLY DID WOW