#if i haven’t messaged you back in a week or a month or more

[carlos-tk]

wow surely ignoring and isolating myself from all my friends for months will fix my crippling loneliness and various mental health issues 🤧

[froggsss10]

I’m bored :\

[missarchive]

PORNSTAR ★

spencer reid

summary; struggling under the weight of student debt and barely scraping by on a minimum-wage job, Y/N is desperate for a way out. When an old college friend sends her a link to an unusual job posting—camera operator for a top-tier adult entertainment studio—she hesitates but ultimately applies. The promise of competitive pay and discretion is too good to ignore.

She’s even more surprised to meet Spencer Reid, a nervous and awkward man who she initially assumes is part of the camera crew. Spencer’s stammering and shy demeanour put her at ease, but when she learns he’s not behind the camera but the star in front of it, her world is turned upside down.

cw; 18+ mdni, pornstar!spencer, camera crew!reader, spencer is not straight (neither is the reader), face-fucking, doggy, unprotected p in v, masturbation (f), spencer is still a sweetheart, bodily fluids, cum swallowing, dom!spencer but also dom!reader, reader is not very good at her job to be honest, "good boy", unprofessional relationships, FILTHY NASTY, praise, finger sucking, sub!spencer 🤭, handjobs, "slut", overstimulation, oral (f. receiving), threesome (mmf), filming for porn, whiny spencer, oral (m. receiving), pure filth, cowgirl, cumming inside, slight aftercare, pretty much fade to black

an; lots of love from beyond the grave, im still very ill. i hope you all enjoy this, please do not mind the spelling mistakes! i tried my best to proofread in my current state 😭

wc; 8k

The sharp, acrid smell of burnt coffee weaves through your tiny apartment, clinging to the fabric of your couch and the cluttered corners of the room. It lingers in the air, an unshakable reminder of your life’s current state: stagnant, suffocating, and just a little bitter.

You sit at the wobbly kitchen table, staring at your laptop screen like it holds the secrets to the universe. Instead, it shows a spreadsheet that hasn’t changed in weeks, no matter how many times you open it, no matter how hard you will the numbers at the bottom to magically disappear. $89,563.47.

That figure is more than a debt. It’s an anvil crushing your chest, a constant shadow in the corners of your mind. It’s the dream-crusher, the thing that keeps you up at night, whispering that you’ll never escape. With your minimum-wage job barely covering rent and bills stacking higher every day, every road out seems endless and uphill.

You exhale shakily, pushing your chipped coffee mug to the side as frustration wells up in your chest. The universe, it seems, has no plans to cut you a break. You let your head fall into your hands, fingers pressing against your temples.

And then, out of nowhere, a soft ding pulls you from your spiral.

Your phone lights up on the table, screen glowing with a notification. It’s from an old college friend—a name you haven’t thought about in over a year, someone who faded from your life the moment you both graduated.

“If you’re desperate enough… this is worth a shot.”

The message is short, cryptic, and followed by a link.

You hesitate, thumb hovering above the screen as your mind races. It could be a joke. Or a scam. But the weight of your desperation gnaws at your common sense. Against better judgment, curiosity wins out.

The link opens to a job posting.

“Camera Operator Needed for Top-Tier Adult Entertainment Studio. Competitive Pay. No Experience Necessary.”

You blink at the words, half expecting the screen to vanish in a puff of smoke. It doesn’t. Your first instinct is to laugh, a sharp, incredulous sound bubbling in your throat. But then, you see the salary.

Your breath catches in your chest. The number is real. The kind of real that could actually change things. A few months, maybe a year, and you could obliterate a chunk of that debt.

You sit back in your chair, the idea burrowing into your mind like a persistent whisper. It’s insane. Ridiculous. But it’s also tempting. One word, bold and unyielding, flashes on the screen: Discreetly.

You read it again and again, the weight of it heavy in your chest. That’s the catch, isn’t it? The only thing holding you back.

By the time dawn filters through your dingy curtains, your application is sent.

The sleek office building feels completely at odds with what you imagined. Its polished floors and glass panels scream corporate professionalism, not… this. Even the receptionist greeted you like you were interviewing for a finance job, her tone cool and efficient.

Now, you sit in the waiting area, hands folded tightly in your lap. The quiet hum of productivity around you is unnerving, and your pulse drums in your ears.

When the door finally opens, you glance up.

A man approaches you, clutching a clipboard. He’s taller than you expected, with a mop of brown hair that looks like it has a mind of its own. His glasses sit slightly askew on his nose, and he exudes an awkward kind of energy—nervous but strangely endearing.

“Y/N?” he asks, voice soft and hesitant, with just the slightest upward lilt.

“That’s me,” you reply, standing and smoothing the wrinkles from your shirt.

“Great! Um, I’m Spencer Reid. I’ll be showing you around today.”

You blink at him, caught slightly off guard. This is Spencer Reid? His name had been listed in the email, but somehow, you’d pictured someone… different. More polished, more self-assured. Less professor who forgot his lecture notes.

“Nice to meet you,” you say, smiling politely.

He nods quickly, adjusting the clipboard in his hands. “Yeah, uh, you too. So, um, if you’ll just follow me, I’ll… show you around.”

Spencer leads you through the maze-like studio, his steps hurried yet deliberate. The place is a whirlwind of activity—bright lights overhead, cameras perched on sturdy tripods, people buzzing with purpose.

As you follow him, he rattles off bits of information about the space, gesturing to equipment and rattling through explanations. His sentences stumble over themselves, his words tumbling out in fits and starts like he’s rushing to get them all out before they escape him.

“So, what do you do here?” you ask, trying to break the tension.

Spencer hesitates, glancing at you over his shoulder. “Oh, um, I work… mostly in front of the camera. But I, uh, know how the equipment works too, so I can help. If you have questions. About cameras. Or lights. Or… yeah.”

You suppress a grin at his stammering, chalking it up to an attempt to make you feel at ease. He must work behind the scenes, you think.

Maybe he interviews the actors or films promotional material. He doesn’t strike you as someone who could handle the spotlight. The thought settles you. At least he’s not intimidating.

The director greets you with a curt nod as Spencer leads you to the main set. Before you can take in your surroundings, Spencer slips away for a moment, leaving you to absorb the controlled chaos around you.

When he reappears, your jaw nearly drops.

Gone are the glasses and sweater vest. Instead, he’s wearing a tailored button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled just enough to reveal toned forearms. His hair is neatly tousled, his posture more confident, though there’s still a faint awkwardness clinging to him.

You blink, struggling to reconcile this Spencer with the nervous man who had stumbled over his words minutes ago. And then it hits you like a freight train. He’s not part of the crew. He’s not here to run the cameras or adjust the lights.

He’s the talent.

Your mind scrambles to process the revelation as you watch him step onto the set, chatting easily with the director. Someone hands him a script, and he scans it with an easy familiarity before nodding in agreement.

Meanwhile, you’re standing frozen, trying to make sense of what you’re seeing.

“Y/N, you ready?”

The director’s voice snaps you back to reality. You nod stiffly, moving into position by the camera, but your gaze keeps flicking to Spencer. He glances at you once, his lips twitching into a nervous half-smile like he knows exactly what’s going through your mind. It doesn’t help. If anything, it makes everything stranger.

You grip the camera tightly, your heart pounding in your chest. You thought you were prepared for this job, but nothing could have prepared you for Spencer Reid.

You can’t believe you’re actually doing this. The scene in front of you is far more intense than you had imagined. It’s your first real day on set, and Spencer is working with one of the female talents. From this distance, all you can focus on is the way he moves—sure and confident, his hips snapping rhythmically against his co-star’s body.

You fumble with the camera settings, trying to ignore the wet, sloppy sounds of sex that fill the room. You can’t tear your gaze away from Spencer’s cock, slipping in and out of her pussy like a well-oiled machine. Her hands clawing at his back as she gasps around his cock when he pulls out to force it in her mouth.

He threads a hand through her hair, the movement almost… tender. As tender as you can be for bruising the back of someone’s throat, anyway. She looks up at him, a smile on her lips, before he presses his cock to the back of her throat and lets her work him over. His face tightening, lips curling up into a smirk as she brings a hand up to hold what she can’t fit in her mouth.

Your stomach tightens at the sight of them together. You’re not sure if you should be so… invested in this. But it’s hard to tear your eyes away when he moves like that. You can’t stop watching.

“Focus on the face,” the director’s voice rings out. “We need her face. We need reactions.”

Your head jerks up, camera lens refocusing on the woman’s expression. It takes every ounce of your control to keep it steady and ignore the fact that Spencer is still balls-deep down her throat. It’s surprisingly easy to tune out, at least, until he flips her over, pinning her face-down to the bed. His cock pummeling into the woman from behind, her head turned to the side with glossy lips and tear-stricken eyes.

Spencer leans down, then, and you watch as he murmurs something in the woman’s ear, something you can’t quite hear. Her response is immediate—she gasps, her eyes going wide before her lips stretch into a perfect O. Her fingers dig into Spencer’s back as his thrusts become more frantic, and then he’s groaning, hips slamming against hers as he fills her with his cum.

The moment he finishes, the spell is broken. The camera drops to your side, and you breathe for what feels like the first time since the scene began. The director calls cut, and Spencer pulls out slowly, being careful of the woman underneath him, a small smile on his face as he reaches down to help her stand on shaky legs. He glances over, and for just a moment, his eyes lock on yours before he turns away to clean up. It’s stupid. It shouldn’t mean anything.

But… you can’t help the fluttering in your chest at the realisation that he was looking at you, even if only for a second. You try not to think about it too much as the day goes on, focusing instead on your job and taking in the sights and sounds around you.

It’s far more fascinating than you anticipated—watching the director’s decisions play out, watching the actors navigate their roles with ease.

But then, as the afternoon wears on, Spencer appears by your side again. He’s back in the clothes from this morning, and the awkward, shy energy has returned in full force.

“So, uh, you get a lunch break. And um, I was wondering… if maybe you wanted to grab something together. If you’re not busy. I mean, it’s okay if you are. I just…” His gaze darts to the side, voice trailing off. “I figured maybe we could talk more about your job, make sure you know everything you need.”

You blink at him. “You don’t have to do that,” you tell him. “I’ll be fine.”

Spencer shifts on his feet, looking slightly disappointed. But he nods anyway, turning to leave.

“Wait.”

The word slips out of you before you can catch it. Spencer looks over, eyes brightening ever so slightly. “Yeah?”

“Lunch sounds… nice.” Your voice is soft, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him as you say it.

When you finally meet his gaze, it’s the most natural thing in the world to see his lips curve into a small, shy smile.

Spencer Reid is a walking contradiction.

On camera, he’s a vision of dominance and raw confidence—a sex god, to put it bluntly. Every movement he makes is purposeful, controlled, and exudes a confidence that seems almost unnatural. But off-screen? He’s a different person entirely. Awkward, shy, and endearing in ways you hadn’t expected. He stammers, blushes, and struggles to find the right words in nearly every conversation. But every time he does, it only makes you smile. It’s impossible not to be drawn to him.

You sit across from him in a small café just a few blocks from the studio, the warmth of your coffee mug grounding you. The café is quiet, a peaceful haven far from the chaos of the city, where the sounds of honking horns and chatter fade into the background, leaving only the soft hum of conversation and clinking cups.

“So,” Spencer begins, his voice still soft and a little unsure, “how do you like the job so far?”

“It’s… interesting,” you reply, a laugh bubbling up.

“Good interesting or bad interesting?”

You chuckle and shake your head. “It’s just… not at all what I expected. The studio, I mean. It’s so professional. Like any other office.”

Spencer nods, the nervous tension in his posture easing slightly. “Yeah, it really is. Most people think it’s all…” He pauses, searching for the right words. “They think it’s just… sex all the time, you know?”

You snort at the absurdity of it. “Definitely not.”

The thought of Spencer—the shy, uncertain man in front of you—being the confident, sexual force he is on camera is hard to reconcile. You can’t imagine him ever making the first move with anyone. It seems almost… impossible.

“We have contracts with each other,” Spencer continues. “And there are all kinds of protocols to follow for the scenes. It’s actually pretty strict.”

“That makes sense,” you reply. “I guess I never really thought about it like that.”

Spencer shrugs, a flicker of unease crossing his face. “A lot of people don’t. It’s weird, I know, but… it’s still work. And if anything goes wrong…” He trails off, his expression growing darker.

A sudden curiosity prickles in you, but you don’t push for answers. Instead, you ask, “How did you end up doing this?”

He scrunches up his nose, looking almost embarrassed. “It’s a long story, but… my friend convinced me to try out once. And then I just… liked it.”

A small smile tugs at your lips. The image of someone convincing Spencer to do something so bold is almost too perfect. It’s exactly the kind of thing you could picture him doing—reluctantly agreeing, then discovering something unexpected about himself.

“I can’t really imagine that,” you say, your laugh light and teasing. Spencer blushes, his cheeks tinting pink as he shifts uncomfortably.

“What, you think I’m too shy for something like this?”

You nod, not hesitating for a moment. “Maybe just a little bit.”

“Yeah,” he admits softly, “I guess I am. I’ve gotten pretty good at switching it off when I’m being filmed. But in my day-to-day life… it’s like I can’t move past it.”

The words linger in the air between you, a strange kind of tension rising. You can’t help but wonder what else he’s been talked into. But before you can say anything, the door of the café chimes as a new customer enters. Spencer glances at the clock, his expression shifting into a look of reluctant understanding.

“I’m sorry,” he says, standing up. “We should get back. But hey, maybe we can grab lunch again tomorrow?”

You smile up at him, your heart beating just a little faster. “Sure.”

For a moment, you think he might say something else, but instead, he simply nods and turns to leave. You watch him walk away, a quiet disappointment settling in your chest. It’s not what you wanted—not exactly—but there’s something about Spencer Reid that pulls you in, something you can’t quite place.

Maybe it’s the awkward energy he exudes, the way he fumbles over words yet still manages to be endearing. Maybe it’s the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles, or the way he transforms so seamlessly into the confident, dominant figure on camera. Whatever it is, you want more.

When you get home that evening, your mind keeps wandering back to Spencer. His eyes, his smile, the way his cock had moved inside his co-star. You replay the scene in your head again and again until it feels like you can almost hear the sounds of sex, almost smell his cologne wafting in the air.

It takes you a while to realise your hand has wandered down your body, fingers slipping between your legs as you imagine Spencer touching you.

The thought sends a thrill through you. It’s not like this is the first time you’ve gotten off thinking about someone, but… this feels different. This feels real.

You press a finger to your clit, applying a little pressure. It’s not enough, not nearly enough, but it’s better than nothing. The image of Spencer’s face appears in your mind, his lips twisting into a pained expression as he comes. You imagine him over you instead of his co-star, his cock sinking into your pussy, his hands gripping your hips as he fucks you.

Your muscles clench at the thought, and a wave of desire surges through you. Your hand moves faster, fingers pressing and rubbing over your clit. You picture Spencer’s lips on yours, his breath hot against your skin as he speaks. You imagine the way his tongue would feel on you, the way his mouth would taste if he kissed you.

You come quickly, the pleasure overwhelming and swift. You barely have time to process it before the orgasm hits you, your body quaking as you climax.

When you open your eyes, your gaze falls on the ceiling. You feel dazed and far away, like you’ve left your body behind for a minute. It takes a while to come back to reality, to process what just happened.

But as you do, a sudden guilt creeps in. It’s not like this is something you’d never done before. But with Spencer Reid… it feels different.

When you wake up the next morning, you’re groggy, still caught in the afterglow of last night. It takes a few moments to remember the job, and another few to get out of bed.

As you shower, you can’t stop thinking of Spencer. The image of him on camera yesterday keeps popping up in your mind—his hips pumping between the woman’s legs, his fingers digging into her hips as he thrusts. And when he flipped her over… fuck. You can’t believe how much that got you going.

The way his cock disappeared into her, the sound of her gasps as he pounded into her.

You think of him behind you, his cock filling you, the length of him stretching your walls as he thrusts in and out of your body. The feel of his hands on your hips, holding you steady for his pleasure.

The image makes you gasp, and a wave of heat surges through you.

But as you stand there, water pouring down your body, another image pops up in your mind. Spencer across from you at the café, his cheeks flushing pink as he talks to you. His eyes brightening when you ask him a question, his smile growing ever so slightly as he answers.

You can’t help but be drawn to the contrast. Part of you wants to know more about his confidence on camera, to see what it’s like up close. Part of you just wants to pull the awkward, shy version closer and tell him that everything is okay.

There’s a lot you don’t know about Spencer Reid. But one thing is for sure.

You want more.

It takes a lot longer than usual to get ready for work, your mind wandering to all the possibilities. When you arrive, you head straight to the set, a strange mix of nerves and anticipation churning in you. It takes you a while to spot Spencer, and when you do, he’s chatting with the director.

It’s different now, somehow, seeing him in this space. He’s still awkward, still shy, but there’s an air of confidence around him that you didn’t notice before. You wonder what it would be like to be his co-star on camera. What it would be like to feel his hands on you.

The thought is a little startling, but you can’t deny it.

You watch as Spencer finishes speaking with the director, then turns towards you. His steps falter as he catches your gaze, and for a moment, it looks like he might change direction entirely. But then he pulls his glasses off, setting them down on a table near the door. Slipping his button-up over his head, leaving him in nothing but dress pants and an undershirt. He moves slowly, each action deliberate, and his gaze lingers on yours for a moment before he ducks into a nearby room.

When he comes back, his shirt is gone, and all that remains is smooth skin. You try not to stare, but your gaze tracks him anyway, watching as he makes his way to the main set. When he passes you, he catches your eyes again, giving you the tiniest smile.

You try not to wonder what that means, but it’s hard to focus on anything else.

When the director calls places, Spencer steps into position next to the female lead, and you take your spot behind the camera. As you adjust the settings, you try not to think too much of yesterday’s scene, but it’s impossible. The image of Spencer fucking his co-star from behind is still etched in your mind.

The director calls action, and Spencer launches himself at the woman, his mouth descending on hers. But as he kisses her, another man steps into view, and your gaze darts towards him.

He’s not as tall as Spencer, but his body is toned and well-defined, his cock already hard. He pushes Spencer against the woman, then starts to strip his pants off.

Your cheeks flush at the sight, and your mind struggles to make sense of what you’re watching. This isn’t how you imagined it would go, not at all.

Spencer presses his body against the woman’s, his lips moving against hers. He shifts her slightly, spreading her legs so the other man can take position between them.

You fumble with the camera for a moment before your gaze returns to the action. The sight of them all together is almost surreal. The other man slips his cock into the woman’s pussy, starting up a slow rhythm. He leans forward, and Spencer’s mouth drops to his neck, sucking a bruise onto his skin.

The woman gasps, pushing her hips back against the other man’s cock. Spencer shifts her again, and this time, he pulls away slightly, his mouth drifting lower on the other man’s chest. He sucks another mark onto his nipple, and you watch as his tongue teases over it for a moment.

Spencer pulls back then, his eyes darting towards you, before he glances down at the woman. He doesn’t need to say anything—his intention is clear. And without hesitation, the woman turns onto her hands and knees, the other man pulling out and flipping her over in one swift motion.

You shift the camera to capture the new angle, watching as Spencer moves behind the woman and slides his cock into her pussy. The other man moves with him, his hand wrapping around the woman’s neck as he slides his own cock inside her mouth.

The sight of them both fucking her is almost overwhelming. Spencer’s hand clamps down on the woman’s hip, his thrusts growing more frantic as he pounds into her from behind. The other man’s fingers dig into her hair, holding her still as he fucks her mouth. And when they both pause, you feel yourself holding your breath in anticipation.

Then Spencer’s mouth descends on the other man’s, and everything freezes. The sound of their kissing is loud and wet, and you try to remember to breathe, to remember to keep filming as they move together.

The camera shakes in your hands as you adjust it, trying to capture all three of them. You move closer, trying to take in everything at once. The sight of Spencer fucking the woman, of the other man fucking her mouth, of the three of them together. It’s almost too much to take in.

Spencer’s hand drifts down the woman’s back, then reaches up to tangle in her hair. He pulls her head back, and you can only imagine the sensation of his cock stretching her walls as he fucks into her. The other man pulls out of her mouth, then, and Spencer guides her down to take his cock instead.

The image sends a wave of lust through you. You can feel your pussy clenching at the thought of Spencer fucking her like this, at the thought of feeling him inside you. A sudden need surges in you, and before you can stop yourself, you whisper, “Fuck.”

The word is quiet, but it echoes in the room. Spencer’s eyes dart to yours, a look of surprise crossing his face. He falters for a moment, then continues, his hand reaching up to guide the woman’s head back and forth on the other man’s cock.

But his eyes remain locked on yours. And when you don’t look away, he starts to fuck the woman harder, his hips thrusting against her ass.

You’re frozen, unable to move. The camera is forgotten in your hands, your gaze fixed on Spencer as he fucks the woman in front of you. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

The sound of his breathing fills the air, along with the sound of the woman’s gasps as he pumps into her. Then, without warning, he pulls out, his cock dripping with cum and precum.

He reaches for her, his mouth crashing down on hers as he pushes her back onto the mattress. The other man positions himself above her, and Spencer moves to kneel at her head. Then Spencer’s lips drop to the woman’s clit, and your gaze is drawn to the sight of him eating her out.

He sucks and licks at her pussy, his mouth moving over her clit. The other man groans, his hips starting up a slow rhythm as he fucks into her mouth. Spencer’s fingers move to her tits, playing with her nipples as he continues to eat her out with fervour.

The sounds of their fucking fill the air—the sound of the woman gasping, of Spencer moaning, of the other man’s breathing growing more rapid. You’re frozen in place, unable to tear your gaze away from Spencer as he eats her out. He pauses for a moment to pull back and look at you, then his lips drop back down between her legs.

It’s hard not to imagine him like this over you—his mouth moving between your legs, his tongue teasing over your clit.

Your pussy clenches at the thought, and you realize you’re soaked. The sound of your own breathing echoes in your ears, and you try not to look at Spencer, but you can’t help it. He glances up at you, his eyes locking on yours.

The connection between you is sudden and intense. You want to do something, to say something, but before you can, the other man groans. His hips start to pump harder, and Spencer moves back, his body positioning between the woman’s thighs.

His cock is still hard, still wet with precum from fucking her before. He positions himself against her pussy, then pushes in, his body shuddering as he sinks inside her.

The sight of him fucking the woman is almost too much. His thrusts are slow and deliberate at first, but soon he’s pounding into her, his cock moving in and out of her pussy in quick, slick thrusts. His hand reaches down to play with her clit, and her gasps grow more frantic as he rubs her towards climax.

The air is thick with tension, your breath coming in quick gasps as you watch them fuck. You can barely hold the camera still, your fingers shaking with anticipation.

The woman’s gasps turn into a cry, and she starts to come. Her pussy clenches around Spencer’s cock, and his body shudders with pleasure. The other man grunts, his cock erupting in cum as he shoots onto the woman’s chest. And Spencer fucks her through her orgasm, his cock moving faster and faster until he comes with a cry, his cum spilling into the condom.

You don’t realize you’ve stopped filming until it’s all over. The camera hangs in your hand, forgotten as your gaze lingers on Spencer.

It takes him a moment to catch his breath. When he does, his eyes flicker towards yours, Spencer smiles, then ducks into the bathroom. He emerges a few minutes later with a towel around his neck and his glasses back in place. You try not to laugh at the sight—he still looks like the same awkward nerdy boy from before. But now, when you look at him, you can’t forget the image of him fucking a woman from behind, his cock sliding in and out of her as he sucked bruises into another man’s neck.

And you can’t help but wonder how it would feel to have him do that to you.

It’s hard to get any work done for the rest of the day. Your mind keeps wandering back to Spencer, to his mouth moving on the woman, to his cock fucking her from behind.

When it’s finally time to leave, you grab your bag and head towards the door. But before you make it, a hand reaches out, tugging you into a dressing room.

You stumble as you enter, nearly crashing into the person who pulled you in. But when you turn around, you realize it’s Spencer.

His cheeks flush a deep red, and he shifts uncomfortably. “I’m sorry,” he says quickly, his voice barely above a whisper, “I just… wanted to talk to you.”

A small laugh escapes you, and you smile at him. “It’s okay, I didn’t mind.” Then you add, “I guess this is your dressing room?”

He nods, looking around. “Yeah,” he says, “They gave me my own room.”

It’s not hard to see why. The room is small, but there’s enough space for a bed and a bathroom, and there’s a table near the door with a couple outfits laid out on it. You move towards the bed, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress as you look around.

Spencer takes a seat next to you, his fingers picking at a loose thread on the bedspread. The silence grows thick between you, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, it feels strangely intimate.

You lean back, shifting your body slightly so your thigh is brushing against his. He looks up at the movement, his cheeks flushing again.

A smile plays across your lips. “Did you like me watching you fuck her?” you ask.

Spencer shifts uncomfortably, his gaze flickering towards yours for just a moment. “Yes,” he says finally, his voice low. “I really liked it.”

You lean in then, your shoulder brushing against his. “You wanted to fuck me instead, didn’t you?”

Spencer swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Yes.”

You smile at him, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. He shivers at the touch, and a little thrill of power shoots through you. “You were really hot today.”

He ducks his head at the words, but you can still hear a whisper of “thank you” from him.

You move closer, your arm winding around his shoulders and pulling him against you. His head drops to your shoulder, and you shift slightly, letting your lips brush against his ear.

“I really liked watching you,” you say, your voice soft and low. “Watching you eat her out, watching you fuck her like that. I wanted to be underneath you.”

Spencer swallows again, his breathing growing shallow. His hands move to your thighs, squeezing your legs slightly.

“I wanted to feel you inside me,” you continue, “To feel your cock stretching me open. I bet you’d fuck me hard, wouldn’t you?”

He moans at the words, his fingers tightening on your thigh. You can feel his body shudder against yours, and the knowledge that you’re turning him on like this is intoxicating.

“Do you want to fuck me?” you ask.

He groans again, and this time there’s a yes, yes, please.

You reach up, running your fingers through his hair. “I want you to touch yourself while you think of me,” you say. “While you think of me underneath you, of your cock sliding into me.”

He moans, and you can feel his cock growing hard against your thigh. “And if you’re good,” you add, “Maybe I’ll let you fuck me.”

Spencer groans, and his hips push forward slightly. You can feel him growing more aroused, and for a moment you’re tempted to give in and let him fuck you now.

But then you remember the quiet, nervous boy who took forever to approach you at the café. And the idea that he’d let you control him like this—both in front of the camera and in private—is too enticing to ignore.

You lean back, taking your hand off him. “If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll even let you cum inside me.”

Spencer gasps, his breath catching in his throat.

His eyes drop to yours, filled with a desire. You smile back at him, but you know this isn’t over yet.

“Tell me again,” you say. “Tell me what I want to hear.”

He swallows, and you can see the hesitation in his eyes. “Please,” he says finally. “Let me touch you. Please let me fuck you.”

The words send a rush of power through you, and you have to work to keep from smiling. “Keep begging,” you say instead.

Spencer nods, his eyes wide. “Please let me fuck you,” he says again. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

He’s growing more desperate by the second, his fingers gripping the fabric of your skirt tightly. You can hear the whine in his voice now, and you wonder how long he can hold out.

“Please,” he says again.

You watch him for a moment, studying him. He’s looking more and more desperate by the second. You wonder how much it would take to push him over the edge.

“You have to promise to do whatever I say,” you say finally. “Whenever I tell you to.”

Spencer nods so fast it’s almost funny. “Anything,” he says. “Whatever you want.”

A thrill of excitement shoots through you, and for a moment, you forget about anything other than the power he’s giving you. You could make him do anything—make him get on his hands and knees and beg for permission to touch you. Make him eat you out until you’re screaming and dripping with cum, and not let him stop until you’re satisfied. Make him fuck you until you can’t walk straight, until you’re sore and aching from taking his cock.

You shiver at the thought, your pussy growing slick with arousal. But you don’t stop, not yet. You reach for him, taking his face in your hands and making him look at you.

“You’re mine,” you say. “Do you understand?”

He nods again, his breath coming in quick pants. “Yes,” he gasps. “Whatever you want.” Then he adds, “Please.” The word is a moan, filled with desperation and need. “Please, fuck me.”

Your fingers tighten on his jaw, and you lean in closer. “Say it again,” you say.

He nods, his eyes growing desperate. “Please fuck me,” he says again, his voice a low whine. “I need it.”

A soft laugh escapes you, and you move closer to him, your lips brushing against his forehead. “I love the way you beg,” you say. “It makes me so wet.”

He shivers at the words, and you can hear the breath hitch in his throat.

“I can’t wait to feel you inside me,” he says. “To feel you fuck me until I’m raw.” He pauses, then adds, “Until I can’t take it anymore.”

The words are almost too much. You can feel your own arousal growing, your pussy aching with the need to be fucked.

“Maybe,” you say, “If you’re good enough, I’ll let you.”

Spencer whines at the words, his body shaking slightly. You lean in, your mouth moving to his neck. “Will that be enough?” you ask.

“Yes,” he gasps, his fingers clenching against your thighs. “Whatever you want. Just please let me fuck you.” The words are a moan now, filled with need.

The word sends a rush of arousal through you, and before he can say anything else, you pull back. “Good boy,” you say softly.

His fingers tighten on your leg, but he doesn’t say anything.

You smile, reaching for his glasses and pulling them off his face. “Get on your hands and knees,” you say then.

Spencer nods, moving to do what you said. You watch as he gets into position, his hands and knees on the mattress, his ass in the air. You move behind him, running your fingers over his hips, teasing his skin.

“Spread your legs,” you say. “I want to see how desperate you are for my cunt.”

Spencer does as he’s told, spreading his legs for you. And you can’t help the groan that escapes you at the sight. His cock is already leaking with precum, and you know he’s aching to be touched. To be fucked. To have your pussy wrapped around him, to feel him sink inside you until he’s balls deep.

The thought sends a rush of lust through you, and you lean forward, running your hands over his back. You move up to his shoulders, then run your fingers down his arms. When you get to his hands, you reach for the lube on the table.

“Get yourself nice and wet for me, baby,” you say, squeezing out a generous amount on his palms.

He does as he’s told. And when he looks back at you, you nod to his cock. “Touch yourself,” you say. “Show me how much you want to be inside me.”

He nods, and without hesitation, he reaches for his cock, his hand wrapping around it. You watch for a moment as he strokes himself, his movements slow at first. But it doesn’t take long for his hips to start pumping, his hand moving faster and faster as he strokes.

“Mmm,” you say, smiling at the sight. “I like that.”

Spencer moans, but he keeps going, his hand pumping his cock until he’s fucking his fist. The sound of skin on skin fills the room, and you can’t help your own arousal from growing. Your pussy is slick with need, and all it would take is one touch from his hand and you’d be cumming.

You shift closer to him, reaching out to run your fingers over the small of his back. Spencer gasps, his hips stuttering for a moment. But then he continues, his hand stroking his cock until it’s almost too much.

“Can you cum like this for me?” you ask.

The words are enough to push him over the edge. His hips thrust into his hand, and you can hear his breathing grow ragged. “Yes,” he whines. “God, yes.”

A smile plays on your lips. “Then do it,” you say. “Cum for me.”

He cries out at the words, his cock pulsing in his hand as he cums. The sound of his orgasm fills the room, and for a moment all you can do is watch him in wonder.

When he’s finished, he collapses back against you, his body relaxing against yours. You wrap your arms around him, holding him to your chest as you smile.

“Good boy,” you say. “Just like that.”

And when Spencer nods, you can’t help but feel a rush of pride at the thought of your obedient little slut. You’ll break him in slowly—letting him touch you and taste you until he’s desperate for your pussy. And then, when you’re ready, you’ll let him fuck you.

And once he has your pussy, he’ll never let go. He’ll be obsessed with it, with the feeling of being inside you. With the way your muscles clench around him, with the way your cunt grips him tight as he fucks into you. With the feeling of your thighs wrapped around his hips, with the way your pussy milks him until he cums deep inside you. With the sound of your moans as he fucks you until you’re aching and raw. With the taste of your pussy on his tongue as he eats you out until you cum on his face.

Spencer whimpers against you, and you run a hand through his hair, petting him. “Shhh,” you say. “That was good. You’re doing so well.”

He moans against you, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he nods, leaning back against your chest.

You smile, your fingers moving to his hair again. “There’s my good little slut,” you say.

He groans at the words, his breathing growing faster. You move your hand to his cock, running your fingers along the length. “Look how hard you are,” you say, stroking him lightly.

Spencer moans again, and you can feel him shudder against you. “Are you ready for more?” you ask.

“Yes, please,” he gasps.

You smile at the desperation in his voice. You pull back, looking down at him as you run your finger along his lips. “Open your mouth,” you say.

He does as he’s been told, and you push your finger between his lips until he sucks it into his mouth. You pull your finger away, smiling at him. Then you reach for a condom, and stand up. “Take off your clothes,” you tell him, tearing open the package.

Spencer’s eyes flicker to yours, but he moves quickly to comply, pulling off his pants and shirt until he’s naked. You take a moment to study him, to study the way his cock is hard for you, the way his chest rises and falls as he breathes.

Then you reach for him, guiding him back onto the bed. You push him down, spreading his legs as you move between them. He whimpers as you pull his thighs up, and for a moment, all you can do is look at him like this.

He’s beautiful—spread out on the bed for you, his thighs spread wide and his cock hard. His eyes are glazed with lust, and he’s breathing hard. You can see the way he’s shaking slightly, and you know how much he wants to be inside you.

A soft smile plays across your lips, and you reach for your clothes, pulling your skirt up around your waist. You can’t help the moan that escapes you as you sink down onto him, the feeling of his cock filling you almost too much to handle.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he gasps as you sink down further.

You moan at the words, your head dropping to his shoulder as you take his cock deeper. You can feel him stretching you, filling you until you’re almost too full to move. When you’re finally seated on his hips, you pause, looking down at the sight of his cock disappearing into you.

Spencer groans again, his hands moving to your thighs. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he whispers. “Your cunt is so perfect.” His hands tighten on your thighs, and he pushes up into you, making you moan.

You nod, and then lean down, taking his mouth in a kiss. You move slowly at first, your hips shifting back and forth as you grind down on his cock. But it’s not long before you’re fucking him in earnest, your body riding him until you’re gasping with pleasure.

He’s so good, you realize. He feels so good inside you, better than anyone you’ve ever had. His cock is thick and full, and you can feel the way it’s stretching you until you’re aching. The knowledge that he wants you—wants to fuck you and fill you with his cum—only makes it better.

You move faster, your body grinding down on his cock as you fuck him. Spencer is moaning now, his breath hot against your ear as he groans. His hand moves to your ass, his fingers gripping tightly as he pulls you down onto him.

“Yes,” he moans. “Like that. Fuck me like that.”

You nod, your hips picking up the pace until you’re bouncing on his cock. You can feel yourself building, the pleasure growing with each thrust until it’s almost overwhelming. You cry out as you cum, your body shaking with pleasure as your pussy clenches around him.

Spencer cries out with you, his hips bucking up into you as he cums. You collapse against him as he finishes, his cock throbbing deep inside you. You stay there for a few moments, until the last tremor of pleasure fades away. Then you pull off him, reaching for a cloth to clean yourself with.

When you look back at him, he’s watching you with wide eyes. “Was that…good?” he asks finally.

You smile at him. “It was amazing,” you say, and you mean it.

Spencer smiles back at you, then nods. You can see a little blush on his cheeks, and you can tell how pleased he is with himself.

You reach for his hand, taking it in yours as you smile again. “You were perfect,” you add. “Just like I knew you’d be.”

He flushes a little more at that, but you can see how happy he is. You squeeze his hand once more, then let go. “Come on,” you say. “Let’s get cleaned up.”

You help him up, then reach for his clothes. He watches as you hand them to him, and you can still see how aroused he is.

He moves to put his pants on, but pauses when you stop him with a hand on his shoulder. “Not those,” you say. You point to the corner of the room, where you can see his boxers. “Those.”

Spencer pauses for a moment, his eyes flickering to yours. “Okay,” he says softly, and he moves to do as he’s told.

You can’t help the smile that comes to your face at the sight, at the way he obediently puts on the boxers you tell him to.

“Come here,” you say when he’s done.

He moves to you, and you take his face in your hand. “You’re mine, aren’t you?” you say.

His eyes widen at the words, but he nods. “Yes,” he says, his voice soft.

You pull him closer, your lips moving to his ear. “And what do I want?” you ask.

“To fuck me,” he whispers.

You smile at that. “And you’ll do anything I want,” you say.

“Yes,” he agrees.

You run your thumb along his jaw, smiling at the sight of him standing there in boxers and a tee-shirt, waiting to do your bidding. “Good,” you say. “My good boy.”

Spencer moans at the words, leaning into your touch. “What do you want?” he asks.

You study him for a moment, then smile again. “For now?” you say. “Nothing. Just you.” You lean in, taking his mouth in a soft kiss. “I’m so lucky to have you,” you whisper against his lips.

Spencer makes a soft noise, then kisses you back. “I’m the lucky one,” he whispers against your mouth.

You smile at that, then pull back and take his hand. You lead him to the bed, then guide him onto it. “Stay,” you tell him as you pull the covers back.

He nods, watching you as you climb in next to him. You reach for his hand, then settle back against the headboard.

“I don’t have to leave?” he asks.

“No, baby, of course not, ” you reply. “You can stay.”

You watch as a smile spreads across his face, and he leans into you, his head resting on your shoulder. You can feel his fingers tighten on yours, and the knowledge that he wants to stay with you like this—that he wants to curl up in your arms and let you comfort him—is so sweet it almost hurts.

You wrap an arm around him, then move to pull him close. “Sleep,” you tell him softly.

“You deserve it.”

He doesn’t reply, but you can feel him relaxing against you, the tension in his body easing as you hold him. He’s warm against your side, and you can smell the scent of soap and lube on him. You hold him for a moment more, then reach to turn off the light.

“Rest now,” you say. “We’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

Spencer nods, his fingers tightening on yours one more time. Then he drifts off to sleep, and you stay with him until you fall asleep too. You dream of the next time you’ll fuck him, of the things you’ll do to him until he’s begging for your mercy.

★

[chleem]

Casual /extra

One shot; college students drew x reader

Warning: explicit language and scenes (read at own caution)

⋆.˚ official one shot here | more

♡⸝⸝ "it's hard being casual when my favorite bra lives in your dresser"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Whose bra is this?”

Drew’s eyes dart to the source, feeling wary. Who else could be in his room right now?

Oh right. The girl he met last night. She’s wearing his t-shirt like it’s his, rummaging through his dresser. She turns around holding a red bra. Your red bra. 

Drew raises an eyebrow, looking at the girl skeptically. What’s her name again? He honestly has no idea, and isn’t planning on remembering. “I..I thought you left.”

“Let’s grab breakfast together,” she happily chirps, before returning to the bra in her hands, holding it as if it contained some deadly disease. “Now, who’s bra is this?”

Drew doesn’t reply; and the girl adds on, “is it the girl you moaned out last night?” 

Drew cocks his head to the side. What is this bitch on, he thinks. He sends her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, walks over, and snatches the bra out of her hands. He tugs it back in his dresser, pushing it close. “You should leave.”

He turns around and sees the graphic design that's on the shirt the girl's currently wearing. That’s the shirt you got him. One of his favorite. “Um, leave the shirt here.” 

It’s the girl’s turn to look at him skeptically. “What?”

“Yeah, uh, leave the shirt here, and forget this ever happened, alright?” 

Drew throws his towel over his gaming chair, and grabs his sweatpants. He puts it on, ignoring the shocked expression on her face. He lays down on his bed, picks up his phone, and starts scrolling through his messages. 

When she realizes that he doesn’t give a shit, she angrily takes the t-shirt off, throwing it into his face. “Thanks,” Drew says rather sourly, putting it to the side. She puts on her dress from last night, grabbing any remaining clothing around the place. 

“We have class together, you dick!” She yells, as if that would make Drew care. 

He hums, obviously too focused on his phone. Only the slam of his room door makes him slightly flinch, but even so, his eyes go back to his phone.

Now, what was he so focused on? Well, texting you. 

——

I’m at the soccer field

This simple text was enough to get Drew out of his dorm, walking as fast as he could to go see you. 

A smile on his lips that appear on its own, just from seeing you sit on the bleachers, watching the soccer team practice. Or more, get yelled at by their coach. 

You don’t even notice him sit down beside you; too engrossed in the music coming from your AirPods. 

It’s when he takes one AirPod out of your ear, when you finally notice him. “Hey,” he breathes out, putting the AirPod into his own ear.

“Hi,” you smile, your eyes landing on his shirt. Oh. He’s wearing the shirt you got him as a gift a few months ago, for Christmas. He wears it quite often, but every time you see it on him, warmth still fills your stomach. “Nice shirt, handsome.”

“Really?” He nudges your knee with his. “An amazing girl got me this.”

He says stuff like this; that makes you wonder if it’s still casual. 

“Interesting,” you lean in closer to him, your eyes glancing down at his lips and then at his eyes. You haven’t seen him in almost two weeks; due to spring break. Mentally, you were glad to be away from Drew, to clear your mind a bit. Physically? Well, let’s just say sexting was not as satisfying as the real thing. 

“What song is this again?” He suddenly asks, smiling fondly at you. You get ready to answer, but Drew beats you to it, replying to his own question. “The Smiths, right?” 

You mimic the ding noise, making him chuckle under his breath. “You know me so well,” you say, bit of sarcasm in your voice. Duh, he knows a lot about you; casual for more than five months at this point.

“Of course.” he’s smiling ear to ear. 

You roll your eyes at his response, but feel your own smile growing. You lean down against his shoulder, looking out onto the field. The weight of looking into his eyes was getting heavy. 

It’s quiet for a few seconds, until you speak up. 

“That guy has been yelled at by the coach ten times already.”

You feel Drew’s chest vibrate against you, his laughter erupting softly. “Ten times? What a dumbass.”

You chuckle softly, only because Drew finds it funny. “But the coach was being a meanie.”

The said guy has the ball now, and when he attempts to score it in, he misses and falls onto the ground. That causes the coach to yell at him again. “Well, eleventh time,” Drew adds on. 

“Next Fifa champion,” you add on. Drew laughs again, as if that joke was the funniest thing he’s ever heard. You pull away from leaning on his shoulder, and stare at his smile. “Was it that funny?” You ask. 

He turns his head over to you, the smile still there. Or more like, ever since he sat down, his lips were always curled up. “You should be a comedian.”

That makes you laugh, and you push his shoulder, “nonsense.”

Your laughter dies down when you see how smitten his stare on you is. 

His eyes glance down at your lips, then back to your eyes, “I missed you.”

Casual, casual, casual.

“You did?” You cock your head to the side flirtatiously. Part of you thought it was fun to flirt with Drew; to hear the nice things he has to say about you. The other part of you hated how sweet Drew was with you; when the two of you were just ‘casually’ sleeping together. 

“Think I’ve already said that over text though,” his voice drops low, and he starts to lean close to you. The look on his face says it all; he wants to kiss you.

“Flatter me and tell me in person too, won’t you?” You continue to say, a smirk on your lips. 

He leans forward and kisses your cheek gently, “how ‘bout I show you instead?”

Oh. Oh. The butterflies are throwing up in your stomach right now, because of this man’s sly mouth. How he just casually brings up wanting to have sex with you, within minutes of seeing each other. 

Seems like he really does miss you. 

Casual, casual, casual. 

“How is one suppose to refuse to that?”

“Hmm,” he hums, and his eyes glued to your lips tell you everything; his mind is already elsewhere, imagining the most dirty things to do with you. Or, what he’s going to do with you. 

He leans in, this time, kissing you on the lips. His tongue meets yours hungrily and lustfully, exploring every corner. He kisses you as if it’s the only way for him to breathe, only way for him to live on. 

You hate that; yet you kiss him back with the same eagerness. 

Make-out session at the bleachers? How romantic. How sweet. How casual. 

You pull away, feeling breathless from how good his kisses are. And you too realize that you missed him too, something you don’t want to admit. Because, who misses someone you only see casually? That’s weird.

His eyes are still glued to your lips, and you see a small trail of saliva near the corner of it. You chuckle softly, wiping it off with your thumb. “You know…”

He hums yet again, even though you haven’t even gotten to the main point of your sentence. “…I got a gift for you….in my room,” you manage to breathe out, and he kisses your jaw. 

Aka, let’s go have sex in my room, right now. 

“How lovely,” he smiles against your neck, planting a kiss there. 

“You wanna see it?” You run your hands through his hair, down his nape, fingertips scratching it lightly. That makes him bury himself deeper into your neck, his arms wrapping around you.

“Yes please.”

——

The moment you unlocked your room, Drew rushes you inside, until you land on the soft cushions of your couch. 

You giggle, watching him take his top off, his legs on either side of you, caging you onto the couch. “Should I continue my story or no?”

“Mmm, lemme guess,” Drew remains eye contact with you, but his hands focus on undoing the zipper of your shorts. “Everyone got food poisoning, just because of you.”

You lift your hips, him pulling your shorts down, “everyone was rushed into the ER.”

Drew laughs, ushering you to sit up. He pulls your top over your head, leaving you only in your bra and underwear. “And still you insist on cooking for me.”

“Only because you always ask to stay in,” you reply, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Making me improvise on dinner.”

“Mmhm,” he stares down at your lips, distracted like always. He kisses you sloppily, his hands running along your back. You moan into his mouth, as he pushes you down onto the pillows. 

“I miss you,” he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck, sucking gently on the area around there;

The angel on your shoulder likes the sweet things he says; the devil on the other side likes to doubt his every word, repeating the phrase in your ear:

Casual, casual, casual. 

One hand kneads your thigh, the other pinning your waist to the couch. His lips move onto your breasts, where they skillfully move around the bra. He wraps his lips around your nipples, making you gasp in pleasure. 

But the bra starts to feel itchy, which you breathe out, “just take it off.”

He smirks against your nipples, pulling away just to unclip your bra. You help him, pushing the bra off, discarding it on the floor. He leans down again, this time, sucking on the other breast. 

“Fuck..” You moan, as he stops, trailing his lips down your stomach. He leaves soft kisses along your belly button, his fingers working with pulling your underwear down. 

“Missed you.” 

This time, he says it while looking down at your pussy. 

The air hits your wet pussy, soon cut off by Drew’s warm palm. 

“Wet already,” he chuckles, his fingers playing with your folds. Too consumed with lust, you don’t even reply to that comment. 

He sticks two fingers into you, thrusting in a slow pace. “You’re tight,” he breathes out, kissing your neck. 

You wrap your arms around his neck lazily, “haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Forever, huh?”

“C’mon, don’t act like its not the same for you-“ he adds the third finger, cutting off your sentence. You moan loudly, as he starts to move in a faster pace. Swear, you can cum just on his fingers alone. 

He smiles against your face, and kisses your ear. Occasionally, he grunts, trying to stretch you out as much as he can. 

Okay. Maybe you could cum on his fingers alone, but it wouldn’t be as good as the real thing. “I want you,” you manage to say between moans, his fingers working hard on your pussy. 

He kisses your forehead, “good to know.”

What a teasing prick. You squeeze his bicep, hoping he gets the message. It’s not easy to talk when he’s got his fingers deep in you. You give him a lazy glare; and he just laughs, “I’know.”

He pulls out of you, and you immediately clench around nothing, your folds missing Drew. He gets entirely off of you, and walks into your bedroom.

Drew knew where you kept the condoms; since, well, he’s constantly fucking you. 

You stare at the ceiling while waiting for him. 

A few seconds of silence passes.

“Y/n!” He yells, before walking out a few seconds later. You turn your gaze to him, who’s holding the entire box of condoms in his hands. He smiles wryly, “it’s expired.”

You furrow your eyebrows, sitting up slightly. He walks over to you, showing you the date on the box. Yeah, it is expired. But you bought this a few weeks ago. Wait…

“No wonder it was so cheap,” you groan, throwing your head back on the couch pillow. 

“This shit…won’t break that easily, right?”

You glance at Drew. He looks at you, hoping you would agree to his thought. His eyes shine in anticipation, the curl of his lips upwards. “…I guess?”

“I’ll…even pull out before I cum,” he shrugs, also hoping you would agree. 

“I… I take pills,” you add on, ignoring the calls of ‘bad idea!’ going on in your mind. Lust was in charge now, and it’s commanding you to get fucked by Drew, even with the huge amount of risks it comes with. 

He breaks into a smile, leaning down and kissing you. “Hey…so it’s okay?” He murmurs against your lips, an adoring look painted all over his face. 

“Have I ever said no though?” You say, which makes him chuckle. 

“True,” he replies, before taking a condom out of the box. You help him, by pulling his sweatpants off. He steps out of them, and you see his fully erected dick, screaming to be released from his boxers. 

“All fours,” his voice drops deeper, commanding you into the position he wants. 

You obey; shrugging your underwear off your knees, getting on your knees and elbows. You arch your back, to make your ass higher. You feel him dip on the couch behind you. 

He stays behind you, the noises of him preparing the only sound in the room. It feels like minutes have passed, and he still hasn't stick it in. “You done?” You ask, unable to mask the impatience in it. 

Drew replies with a hard slap to your ass, making you groan. He then asks, “did you buy this for someone else?”

“What?”

“Not only is it expired…but you got a smaller size,” he plants a kiss on your lower back. 

“What?” You say again, turning your head to look behind you. He holds the packaging in his hands; an M written on it. Oh. “That isn’t your size?”

He snickers, “you serious?” You must have just grabbed the first pack on the shelf, not checking anything. Drew delivers another rough slap to your asscheek when he doesn’t get a reply from you. It hurt, but in a good way. “Babe, you serious?”

“Dead serious,” you sarcastically reply, before laying your head onto the couch pillow in front of you. At this point, you’re pretty sure your pussy isn’t even wet anymore. 

But another hard slap to your other asscheek makes you jolt up, your brain betraying you by making you moan out. “Barely fits me.”

Can’t believe you’re attracted to this whiny man. “I’ll pay more attention next time,” you try to hide your annoyance, “just fuck me already.”

His hands grab the side of your hips, moving your ass to the right position. “Might slip off.”

What’s up with him right now? Is he seriously offended? You just bought the wrong size by accident, was it that big of a deal? “It won’t,” you assure him, “my fault, okay? Just put it in.”

“Fine. Fine, sorry,” he murmurs. 

You feel the tip of him against your hole, as he aligns his dick. And then, he sticks his entire dick inside of you. You moan out in pleasure, clenching around it. Fuck. He was right; you were tight, and you needed a few seconds to adjust to him. 

But Drew doesn’t let you; starting to slam his lower body into you, in a rather rough manner. 

Clearly, he’s not sorry for being whiny. 

“Shit,” you grip on the pillow harshly. “Slow the fuck down-“

He ignores your comment, continuing his pace. Drew rarely fucked you liked this, only if he’s putting his frustration or anger towards you. “Does this feel like an M?” You hear him grunt out, between thrusts. 

Who knew wrong sized and expired condoms could frustrate Drew this much?

You're forced to adjust to his size and pace, ignoring how each thrust that directly hits your core hurts a bit. “Fuck,” you breathe out, the pleasure inside of you building. His hands grip on your waist tightly; soft bruises might form later. 

His grunts and your soft moans fill the room, as well as loud, aggressive skin-slapping. 

He leaves sloppy kisses along your spine, causing your goosebumps to rise. You weren't going to lie; it felt good to be roughly handled by Drew.

You’re close; feeling the orgasm building inside of you. He knows it too; you clench around his dick. “Someone likes getting fucked roughly,” the tease in his voice is evident, “fucked like a slut, huh?”

Yeah. When Drew was mad or angry, he degrades you in bed. 

But you liked it, a moan you fail to repress escaping your lips. He slaps your ass again, a chuckle heard. “Cum then.”

He slams himself into you, his pace never slowing. The knot in your stomach eventually goes undone, your cum coating his dick. “Fuck..” He groans, as you relax yourself. He holds your ass up, continuing to thrust to help his own orgasm. 

He twitches inside of you; he’s close. 

Drew slows down after a few more, and you fell him pull out of you rather urgently. You completely fall on your stomach on the couch, your body giving up. 

But you force yourself to turn around, laying on your back. Drew sits back on the couch, his head leaned back as his cum fills the condom. He’s right; the M size condom covers 2/3 of his dick, probably not even half when he was erected. 

“I’m sorry,” you coo, a lazily smile on your lips. 

His expression softens; “Come here,” he takes the condom off, wrapping it and throwing it in the garbage can nearby. You force yourself up with the little energy left inside of you, snuggling yourself in Drew’s arms. You trace your fingertips along the lines of his lower stomach, laying your head on his chest. You and Drew’s legs tangled together, due to the small couch. 

The two of you stay silent, just enjoying the feeling of simply being in each other’s arms. 

This was casual, apparently. Cuddling after sex. Something people who have no attachments with each other usually do. 

Then, you suddenly joint up, causing Drew to look at you amusingly. “Wait, I actually do have a gift for you.”

“Really? You didn’t have to,” he murmurs, but the look on his face betrays him. He likes how you think of him when you’re away. You hum, getting off him and walking to your room. 

You come back with a small box, straddling yourself around his waist. You bite down on your lips in anticipation, hoping he likes it. He takes it; opening the box to reveal a men’s chained bracelet. 

It wasn’t from a luxurious brand, but you found it while shopping in your hometown, and thought it would look good on Drew.

He smiles ear-to-ear, “I love it.”

“No you don’t,” you chuckle, helping him put it on on his wrist. 

“I do; I love it, thank you,” he kisses your cheek, raising his hand and wrapping it around your nape. He pulls you down, and kisses you, almost in a loving way. Besides from seeing the smile Drew has whenever you get him something, the way he kisses you after also drives you insane. 

Casual, casual, casual.  

“Round two,” you murmur with a smirk on your lips, pulling away. He chuckles, before his eyes look down to your breasts. 

He bites down on his lip, obviously liking what he's seeing. Then, he shares the same look as you from earlier, remembering something. “Oh, your favorite bra, the red one?”

“...Yeah?” You cock your head to the side, wondering where this was going.

“It was in my dresser this entire time.”

“I knew it!”

“Found it the other day.”

“And… are you going to return it to me?”

“No.”

You slap his chest playfully, him sending you a cocky grin. “You got a bunch of other bras anyways.”

“Doesn’t compare to that one,” you pout, leaning down on his chest, hugging him. You lay your ear close to his heart, hearing the soft rhythm of it. 

It’s moments like this; that doesn’t feel casual at all. 

And maybe, it never will feel casual. At least for you. You weren’t the chill, flirtatious girl Drew knew, no, deep down, you were constantly doubting this situation-ship with him. Letting it drag so long, so long that it didn’t feel real anymore. 

Your stupid mind, constantly dreaming of the future with him. A shared apartment, shared furniture, shared everything. Him showing you off to his friends, admitting you’re someone special to him. 

You loser, he doesn’t even refer to you as a friend in front of others. Simply, a classmate. Fuck, you even visited his parents! Yet, he still denies. Everyone knows you two have something going on, except for Drew. Was he doing this on purpose? 

You don’t know; and honestly, too scared ask.

Because somehow, staying casual with him was better than not having him at all. 

The soft rhythm of his heartbeat helps you to slowly drift off into sleep, the thoughts disappearing. Hopefully, you don’t dream of Drew again, in a nice shared apartment, him showing you off to everyone, as his girlfriend. 

Was this dumb love? Maybe. Possibly. Most definitely. 

-------------------------------

word count: 3.5k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: hope you enjoyed reading this! and this isnt an official part two, but rather, another 'pov' into being in a situationship with kinda-toxic drew. for better context, you can read the actual one shot here. i don't think there is going to be an official part two, bc i like this the way it is (sry!) and yes, inspired by chappell roan.

ngl...i don't like this writing as much....but i love the fluff parts! anyways, thx for reading and pls ignore any mistakes <3

elevator | other | more of casual!drew

[yandereforme]

Yandere Batfam x Neglected Reader x Yan! King and Queen of the Winter Fae

Tw:

You’re Bruce’s biological daughter from a one night stand. You joined the family only a month or so before Jason’s death, which was definitely a big factor of the neglect.

You had one month where the house was good. You had been living with your grandparents, as your mother hadn’t been able to parent you, but they had gotten too old to care for you. So, your mother told Bruce about you, they did a DNA test, and voila! It’s a child

Your first month was tense but good. Bruce was distant and awkward but he genuinely tried. Alfred was always willing to talk with you. Jason was actually really nice to you, and the one time you met Dick, you really liked him.

However, everything changed when Jason died.

You were mourning too, having cared about him, but you were left alone in your grief. Bruce shut you out, rarely showing up to dinner or anything else. Alfred was more distant, colder. Dick wasn’t there. No one was.

Then, a boy with black hair and pale skin started randomly coming in and ordering your dad around, and Alfred welcomed him with open arms. Bruce took longer, but it wasn’t too long until your father started treating that way better than he treated you.

The thing you hated most about the whole situation was that you were absolutely being kept in the dark about something. The minute you entered any room three of them were in conversations stopped. Usually the boy, Timothy, would change the subject or just excuse himself. Then Bruce would go back to being Brody.

You got the message. You stopped going to breakfast or dinner with them. You faded into the background easily, and could go weeks without seeing Tim or Bruce. Alfred was more regularly, but never for long. In the morning before school when you get the bus, he packed you breakfast to go, which was nice.

You spent a lot of time outdoors, even during the winter. That was probably why you started, noticing the odd behavior of the air around you. You noticed the odd sound coming from the abandoned shed on the property.

You weren’t expecting to see a small being that looked like they were made of ice stuck in a mouse trap made of plastic, their oxygen being cut off, but you couldn’t leave them there.

When you entered the shed, having successfully broken the lock, you could tell the being was surprised. You spoke in calm tones, explaining that you lived on the property and you wanted to help them, but that you needed them to hold still.(in the back of your mind, you wondered if they even understood English. Hopefully, if they didn’t, your tone would help them understand.)

It took you a minute to figure out how the trap worked, but once you figured it out, you let the being free. They stared at you for a moment. They flew up to eye level with you for a moment, and touched your nose.

The little hand on your nose felt surprisingly nice. It wasn’t the bad, kind of cold, but rather felt like snow when it hits the tip of your nose. It made you smile.

The being winked at you, smiling and making sounds that you couldn’t quite understand, before they flew off into the sky, which you noticed was rapidly getting darker. You hurried back to the manor to get your dinner, not realizing just what you had started.

Edit: I’m so sorry I haven’t been writing lately! Things have been hectic, but summer starts soon, so I hope I will have more time to write! Also, in case you don’t realize it from reading this, the reader does not know the Waynes are the Batfamily, and the reader has not been publicly acknowledged as a member of the Wayne family. You were supposed to be publicly acknowledged after being there for a month and a half, but when Jason died, those plans got thrown out. 

[matsunoluvr]

୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ how clingy sylus copes with your absence

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking

characters: sylus

link to master list here!!!

authors notes: so basically we all love clingy!sylus and i don’t think people talk about it enough, so i here i try to do him some justice </3

i tried not to mischaracterise him, but i find it difficult to imagine how he’d react. he’s a full fledged adult - 27/28 years old - so i can see him trying to be mature about it. but after a while, it gets hard to wait any longer no?

more below the cut!! :3

first few days of your absence sylus is fine, i mean it’s one day - people get busy, people get tired. sylus understands better than most that life gets tough.

he checks his messages maybe two or three times to see if you’ve responded, but nothing. that’s okay, he’ll wait for you.

after five-ish days he’s a little irritated, how could you forget about him for that long?

yeah you could be busy, but seriously?

he gives you a call but it sends straight to voicemail, to which he refuses to leave one.

i bet he secretly feels a little embarrassed at how much your absence is bothering him, and out of spite he refuses to check his phone during the day.

“Tsk, ignoring me?”

luke and kieran definitely notice his small shift in attitude - his nonchalant facade isn’t perfect after all.

they are also secretly cursing you for disappearing, i mean come on! how could you leave them with an angry boss!!

another few days pass, how long has it been since he last saw you? a week?

gets fidgety and cracks, calling you again - no reply.

when he gets sent to voicemail he speaks in his typical, slow tone.

“Why aren’t you picking up my calls, kitten? Get back to me when you listen to this.”

despite his seemingly calm voice, he’s starting to really lose his cool. your absence was unsettling, and yeah he’s disappeared before for a few days on business, he at least picks up calls.

he never leaves you clueless for even a few days, let alone a whole week.

mephisto is sent out for surveillance of the n109 zone, and sylus keeps his phone close. always in his vision, hearing range, whatever.

every notification catches his attention, eyes snapping to the illuminated screen only to slowly drag away when he sees it isn’t you.

from the first to second week of your absence, his irritability shoots up. sylus is getting agitated, brushing it off as annoyance.

after all, what the fuck did he do for you to ignore him for this long?

he texts you almost every day now, the texts getting increasingly shorter, decreasingly floral and more concerned.

“Kitten, why aren’t you picking up my calls?”

“[YN], are you really ignoring me?”

“Hello? Are you okay?”

“Call me.”

he’s calling you every other day now, his sleeping schedule is deteriorating and his mind isn’t focused.

sylus is getting angry at himself, why is he so messed up about this? so what if you haven’t spoken to him in 13 days, isn’t it pathetic to be so affected by your absence?

he lived 27+ years without you, he can live another hundred without.

yet he still finds himself rearranging the plushies you two caught together, checking for your messages, scrolling through your posts.

almost a month has passed since your disappearance, and sylus isn’t getting any better.

why did you go? are you okay? did you get hurt?

god forbid something happened to you.

he’s hired some people to search for you, fuck waiting he’s worried.

finds himself drinking more alcohol with his meals than usual, to the point where even he - a heavy weight - feels his head becoming a little dizzy, his hands twitching for his phone.

one night, after downing a bottle of wine himself, he calls you at least five times, before leaving a voicemail.

his voice lacks its usual slow, bored tone. instead his words are a little slurred, his voice seems a little higher pitched - not too much but it is noticeable - and he’s speaking a little faster too.

“[YN]? Where are you, are you okay? Please pick up, it’s been a month. Do you really- have I deterred you? I know you dislike me, have you ran away? If you have, then at least tell me you’re alive. I mi-”

he catches himself before he says it, because he’s just realised something, something that was so blatantly obvious he feels shocked that he hadn’t noticed it

he misses you, he isn’t angry. he isn’t annoyed that you disappeared, he’s upset.

the fact that it took so long for him to realise is stupid, and all he can do it sit and chuckle drunkenly to himself.

“I miss you, [YN]. Please call me back.”

when you finally call him - exactly 43 days since you left - he almost scrambles to his phone

sylus picks up immediately, yet miraculously finds himself at a loss for words. what does someone say after over a month of waiting?

kind of just stands there, frozen - if you wait before speaking you can hear his almost shaky breaths

“Hey Sylus, you miss me? You left over 13 voicemails and 65 texts, I’m touched.”

gods your voice smoothed over his tense muscles like honey

he sits down, heart beating faster than usual. it’s stupid how much hearing your voice affected him, but he couldn’t help the way his body relaxed at the sound.

if he was a dog his tail would be wagging so fucking hard

“Come here, now.”

when you do arrive, you seriously expect to get killed or something. his tone sounded seriously pissed - i mean like the most pissed you’ve ever heard it

but when you open the door you just get swallowed into a chest and a pair of arms

if you try to move away or struggle, they just hold you tighter and restrict your actions and- oh, sylus is hugging you.

his face is angled down into your head, and you can’t see his expression - only the beating of his heart against you, and it was fast.

“Where the fuck were you? I missed you.”

explain whatever the hell you want to sylus, he’s already decided that you’re not going out without him knowing ever again

probably tries to download some sort of GPS tracker on your hunter’s watch to make sure he knows where you are

TLDR; sylus doesn’t realise how much he really cares for you until you go MIA for over a month in which he starts to genuinely tweak out! :3

AN; guys i actually spat this out in like an hour i think i might have clingy!sylus brain rot because oh my god anyways this isn’t proof read i just needed to express my love for clingy!sylus that gets worried because he isn’t just a dominant badass gang leader he’s also human and he also gets sad and upset and feels emotions argahdbansn he just sucks at recognising his own desires (get it because his evol eye can see other people’s desires but he can’t see his own :3)

[mv1simp]

Kiss It Better ♥️

Max Verstappen x Friends w Benefits! Reader

no one else gonna get it like that, so why argue? You here, here to take it all back (kiss, kiss it better baby)

Work’s got you stressed. Lately, you’ve been ignoring friend’s messages, coming home late and haven’t had a home cooked meal in weeks. Max decides that as your friend, he needs to intervene and look after you…by taking your mind completely off work and completely onto him, instead. Turns out he's as good at it as winning F1 championships.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, friends to lovers, overworked girlboss! Reader basically gets overstimulated by Max hehe, dom/sub, size kink, praise kink, light bondage, choking, degradation kink, all the good stuff, WC 2.8k

Easy chatter buzzed in your cozy apartment as your group of friends finished up the lively dinner and drinks you’d hosted tonight. It’s so good to see you, Maya sighed, slumping back in her chair and patting her food baby. I’ve missed your pistachio tiramisu dearly.

You laugh at her satisfied expression, and others in the group chimed in about how tasty your dessert had been and how it's been ages since you had been free to catch up. You waved them off with an apologetic I know, I know, explaining that work had been so much more hectic the past couple months. You worked as an advisor in the financial sector for Redbull Inc, a very prolific job that's led you to meet many of their star athletes. That included Max, who’d become one of your good friends and intently watches you talk now, his handsome face resting against his hand. You didn’t want to bring the vibe down of the dinner party, so you brush off your friend’s concern with a joke that it was hard work finding investors to fund Max’s millionaire contract, after all.

You’re met with laughter, and the conversation slips into light teasing that you needed better stress management techniques. Maybe finally time to get on Tinder and get yourself railed by a hot Monaco tourist? Can personally recommend that as great relief. Emily, another friend proposed with a wink, earning more giggles. You roll your eyes fondly, biting back that you’re sure most guys on Tinder wouldn’t even be able to find the clit, it would just make you even more wound up. Mock groans rise up from the boys sitting at the table, while the girls enthusiastically cheer their agreement. As your gaze flits around the room, your eyes shining with happiness for the first time in weeks, you can't help but catch Max's pretty blue eyes again - focused on you intently.

You brush it off, not thinking too much of it as the dinner party winds down and your friends start filtering out. You turn down their offers to help clean up, saying your housekeeper would be by tomorrow to sort it. You almost get a heart attack later once everyone leaves, as you begin humming along to your Spotify playlist and beginning to wash the dishes - only to hear a gentle clink as someone sets the wine glasses down next to you. Jesus Christ, Max! you exclaim, hand to your chest. You scared me!

He raises an accusing eyebrow at you. I knew it. You don't have a housekeeper, do you? Despite your numerous protests, he insists on staying to help you. How did you know? you ask curiously, conceding defeat. About me not having a housekeeper, I mean. No one else caught onto that. Pretty normal for working professionals in Monaco to have one, after all. Grabbing a teatowel and drying your dishes as you washed them, your friend the F1 millionaire and driver Max Verstappen warms your heart with his surprisingly caring and observant nature. Clearing his throat, he replies that you're way too much of a control freak. There's no way you'd trust a stranger to clean your house. He smirks knowingly when you splutter, feeling mildly insulted and hitting him with a There's no way you're accusing me of being a control freak. Have you met yourself? That's like the pot calling the kettle black! He swats you with the teatowel, rolling his eyes, but he's laughing at your accurate remark. Later, once your apartment is in sparkling condition, you and Max enjoy a late night glass of sweet wine out on your balcony. You've been talking for a while about silly topics, currently ranting about some random relationship drama of a friend when Max cuts you off, his mind clearly on something else.

I think the others were onto something, you know, he starts, low Dutch voice making you feel warm in the cool night air. At your confused expression, he continues. You've been really stressed lately. I've barely seen you around at padel or online streams these past two months. And you've lost weight, your apartment was messy which it never is, and the other week my accountant got emails from you at 3am...plus you haven't gotten your nails done, which is weird because you're always the group chat every two weeks what colour you should get.

Your eyes widen at the realisation that Max was paying much more attention to you than you'd thought. You hadn't known he was so perceptive towards your mood, and it made unfamiliar feelings flutter in your stomach. You try to reassure him, half truths that you were fine now, truly, he didn't need to worry! You absolutely didn't want to be a bother to someone as busy as him. Seriously, I'll just download Tinder and let off some steam like Emily suggested, you joke to try and change the dubious expression on his face.

But his next offer blows you out of the water. Suddenly avoiding eye contact for the first time all night, Max's handsome face blushes as he murmurs that he could help you take your mind off things. When you stare at him blankly, not comprehending, he takes a deep breath and fixes that intense gaze back onto you, looking determined. Unwind the tension. Or, rail you good, like Emily said. Like a…friends with benefits situation. And before you start saying how you don’t want to be a bother or whatever - trust me, you aren’t, and I wouldn’t offer to help if I didn’t want to.

You’re flabbergasted, half laughing at the insanity and half gasping in shock. I don’t understand, you say finally. What’s in it for you? This seems like way too much work to just be doing a friend a favour. Max smirks at you, a bit deviously, and although you've seen the expression when he pulls an aggressive move to win a race, you've never seen it directed at you. It sends a shiver running up your spine and an aching need shooting straight in between your thighs. Proving I know how to find the clit, he says rather smugly.

You whack him over the shoulder with a pink throw cushion, rolling your eyes and changing the topic to diffuse the sudden sexual tension. He lets you off the hook as you quickly change conversations, flustered with the sudden interest from Max. But over the next few days you can’t stop thinking about his proposal constantly. You’ve always had a bit of a friend crush on Max - I mean, who wouldn’t? He was a tall, handsome racecar driver with a wicked sense of humour. And a very cute accent that sounded very sexy when he lowered his voice. You wondered what he’d sound like whispering something naughty in your ear, tangled up in his soft bedsheets, his large hands wandering where friend’s hands shouldn’t be-

You abruptly bring yourself back to reality, cheeks going pink at the fantasy you’d gotten carried away with. Over the next week, work gets ridiculously busy again and you find yourself completely absorbed in the same toxic cycle, getting home late and ignoring your friend’s messages. You’re working late one evening, frowning as you glare at your computer screen, thick files scattered across your desk. You’re too distracted to notice that Max is calling your name until a warm hand gently brushes your shoulder. It turns out he’d been in the building to sort out some legal paperwork and had decided to come by and see you. You’re surprised, but he narrows those intense blue eyes at you, saying you’re not looking after yourself again, are you?

Despite your protests that you are (lie), really, you don't need him to help you at all (another lie), he orders delivery from your favourite Italian restaurant and joins you for dinner in your office. Soon you’re laughing, caught in conversation and genuinely enjoying Max’s company until your phone starts ringing. You sigh, remembering the mountain of tasks you still had, and look apologetically at Max. But the handsome blonde is having none of it. He smoothly takes your phone out of your hands and declines the call, making you yelp for it and reach across the desk-

Only to find yourself pulled onto Max’s lap, his strong arms easily wrapping around your smaller waist. Enough, he whispers into your ear, his husky voice just as deep and as sexy as you'd secretly fantasised about. Let me take care of you, please? You look up at him with wide eyes, your back pressed against his muscular chest, as you manage to nod. And oh, does Max take care of you. Your innocent dinner as friends is transformed into a dirty office hook up, as Max's skilled tongue slides into your gasping mouth and his even more skilled fingers slide your tight pencil skirt up and finger you through your panties. And when you've soaked them through, he swipes them to the side and fucks you on his fingers, his impressive strength easily keeping your plush hips pinned firmly against his hardening erection as you buck and writhe helplessly in his lap. And he’s not stopping until you're moaning his name into the deep kisses and having one of the most intense orgasms of your life. Feels good, doesn't it prinses? he murmurs, his lips brushing against your ear as he takes in the pretty sight of you blushing and panting in his lap, silk blouse fallen off your shoulders and tight skirt pulled up after you'd falling apart on his fingers. All for him, he thinks with a feeling rather similar to possessiveness unfurling in his chest.

"Good" would be a massive understatement. Once Max proves to you just how effective of a stress management technique this is, you can't stop. He's over at your place after hectic workdays, at first, giving you slow deep kisses as he gets you off on his thick thighs. Any hint of self consciousness you'd had becoming so undone in front of the very attractive athlete dealt with by the praise he showers you with. That’s right, use my thigh baby, you’re doing so good, you're gonna cum all over my jeans for me, okay? His voice sends you spiralling over the edge, letting out teary whines and moans as he coaxes you through another orgasm, letting you fall apart all over again in his arms before putting you back together with dinner and laughter filled conversation in the shower after.

Soon he’s there on the weekends, eating your tiramisu first before spreading your legs wide on the dining table after he'd placed you on it. What did I say about doing work during your weekends, hmm? He says in mock disapproval, gently kissing your aching pussy through your panties before teasingly slapping it. You whine breathlessly, embarrassed to have him in between your legs for the first time, but once again he dampens every insecurity of yours that bubbles up. He eats you out like a man starved, and oh, Max Verstappen definitely knew where to find the clit. Your dark red nails, freshly manicured after he’d taken you to the salon earlier, tug at his soft blonde locks as his talented tongue kisses your sensitive bundle of nerves. He groans against your pussy, the vibrations sending you over the edge and squirting onto his flicking tongue as he smirks up at you. Oh, Max! Max! Right there, please don’t stop-

He’s a little too adept at distracting you. You don’t have any inhibitions about holding back anymore, openly begging for him to make you feel good again and again and again. You’ve become more curious with him, wanting to try new things in the bedroom you’d always wondered about but been to shy to ask for. But with Max, who you trusted as a friend first, and who spoilt you, it was easy to test your boundaries. You make him blush the first time you hold up some toy handcuffs and cutely ask if he could pretty please try them on you? His intense blue eyes darken with desire as he looks down at your pouting face, batting your lashes up at him almost innocently despite your naughty request. You love that Max wants this, wants you, just as much as you want him.

The handcuffs set off the more...dominating side of Max in bed and you're absolutely addicted to it. Soon enough he has you face down ass up in his bed most nights, delicate lace lingerie you'd started wearing under all your classy corporate outfits half ripped, as he roughly pounds into you from behind. You loved when Max used his predatory strength against you, applying just enough to make you dizzy with pleasure but never enough to come anywhere near hurting you. One of the bear paws he calls his hand wraps snugly around your neck, over the sparkly collar you’re wearing, and the other one smacks your bouncing ass red, using all the power of a high performance athlete who worked out daily. You're sobbing and screaming his name into the mattress, his sheets long ruined from your drool and your mixed cum trailing down your legs. You just love when I completely control you like this, don't you prinses? Max says with a smirk, his tongue licking up your tears as he used his hand on your neck to tilt your crying face towards him. My pretty girl, so needy and stressed, your brain just can't take it anymore right? Need me to take over and fuck you stupid? A rough slap to your ass has you scrambling to answer him, frantically nodding yes, yes Maxie, please take all the tension away, it feels so fucking good-

You can't even lay a hand on him because yours are tied tightly behind your back, well and truly giving all your power to Max. And he uses it to talk you through multiple orgasms, murmuring in your ears as he relentlessly thrusts into you to let go for me, that's right, just like that pretty girl, gonna fuck you so hard you’re only going to be able to think about my cock for the next week. I want to feel that tight pussy cum all over my cock in five, four, three...

Whew, his fans would go batshit crazy if they found out that their celebrity crush does, in fact, talk you through it in bed. You would feel bad about taking up so much of his time, but you’ve started to realise how much stress relief you offer Max, too. Like when he’s had a bad race weekend (rare, but still) and you walk into his apartment, seeing his tense shoulder and frowning face as he continues gaming after grunting out a Hey.

You hmmm, shrugging out of your pretty blouse, lacey bra on display, and making yourself comfortable in between his big, muscular thighs. Stressful day? you ask, leaning down to rest your cheek against him. He glances at you as you teasingly massage his impressive legs, coyly looking up at him as you tease the waistband of his sweats. Wanna fuck my mouth, Maxie?

That certainly got his attention, a lazy grin appearing on his face. Fuck me, I've really made you addicted to my cock, haven't I schat? he says lowly. He loosens his sweats for you, letting you lick his inner thighs teasingly before softly kissing his rapidly hardening cockhead. Large hands tangle in your hair, undoing your elegant twist, as Max guides you all the way down his length. You whine, looking up at him with those sweet doe eyes and choking slightly as you’re still not used to how big every part of Max is. And somehow you still look so fucking innocent, despite your drooling lips wrapped snugly around his cock. His hand possessively tugs at your curls, making your teary eyes roll back as you moan from the rough treatment. Max smirks at the delicious sight of you on your knees for him, clenching your thighs desperately. You wanted this, pretty girl. Wanted to be my obedient slut and have me throatfuck that slutty mouth of yours, right? Should've been careful what you wished for if you couldn't handle it.

He emphasises his filthy words with an initial thrust all the way to the back of your throat, making your breathing hitch as you struggle. Giving you a second to adjust to his full length, he tells you one last promise before he ruins your throat. You’re going to have to cancel all your meetings tomorrow, prinses. There’s no way you’re going to be able to talk after I’m done with you.

_____________________________________________

A/N: AHHHH IM ATTEMPTING TO BE BACK IN BUSINESSS and keep all my pookies fed 🍗 My tactic for getting tf out of my writers block hell is only looking at max edits on tiktok cause everytime I open insta I see another lovey dovey couple max and pregnant gf post and get a fucking jumpscare (I mean obvi happy for them but my delusion….my delusions!!!)

Let me know what you guys think!! I’m cooking up a dark Max who’s talked into being a gym trainer for oh so innocent reader hehe so dark max girlies I gotchu xx send in ur requests!!

[redzie02]

San comes home from tour in the middle of the night

needed the comfort so here’s a short San fic

warnings: none ?/ maybe slightly suggestive at the end/ comfort/ dialogue starts under the cut lol masterlist

You'd been thrashing around for hours, trying to find comfort, but no luck. The bed was uncomfortable. Your pillow was too warm. Even your comforter annoyed you.

Peaceful sleep was not something you were well acquainted with the last few months, especially considering the absence of your favorite person. San.

You knew what you signed up for when you and San started dating, but it didn't make times like these any less difficult. Daily phone calls and texts only did so much to ease the longing.

Frustrated and miserable, you sat up and dramatically snatched your pillow and smacked it onto the opposite end of the bed. With a huff, you laid down and exhaled deeply, satisfied with the new sleeping arrangement. It was somehow exponentially more comfortable, but something was missing.

You couldn't be bothered to sit up again, so you slid your foot under San's pillow and gently tossed it to the other end of the bed. You held it tightly to your body, inhaling the subtle mixture of San's shampoo and fresh body odor before tucking it under your chin- the same way he holds you.

The remnants of San's faint aroma hit you straight in the gut. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, your throat starting to tighten.

Just one more week and he'll be home. Don't cry. You repeated these words to yourself while blindly patting down the bed in search for your phone. You squinted at your screen before sending a text.

3:58 am my y/n♡: i miss you :(

You tossed your phone to the side, not expecting an answer. You'd sent San over a dozen texts yesterday, but he only responded back by hearting a few of the messages. A bit infuriating, but you understood he was most likely just busy.

-

You awoke with a startle when you felt something lightly dragging up and down your arm. The lamp in the furthest corner of the bedroom was on, casting a soft yellow glow, but still bright enough to leave you squinting at the figure before you.

You almost whimper when you realize San was standing just a few inches away from you. You practically leapt up, throwing your arms around San's neck, almost causing him to stumble. You couldn't help the whine in your voice as you spoke, your voice groggy from the fatigue. “I thought tour ended next week.”

His strong arms wrapped around your waist, constricting your breathing a bit, but you didn't care. “I got the dates mixed up, that’s my fault, baby, I'm sorry. I texted you when I was on my way thirty minutes ago, didn’t you see it? I sent it right after I saw your text.”

“I don’t even know where I threw that thing, if we’re being honest." He chuckled into your neck. "Ugh, I don’t care. You’re finally home.”

You pulled him backwards until he was laying on top of you on the bed. He lifted his head from your shoulder, his smiley eyes taking in every millimeter of your face as you did the exact same. He freed his right arm from under you and smoothed your hair out of your face. His breath tickled your cheek as he quietly spoke, “It was four in the morning when you texted me…Why were you up, hmm?”

You wrapped your legs around San’s waist, your whole body clinging to him. Your hands slipped under his shirt, your fingers caressing his warm, soft skin. “I haven’t been able to sleep without you.”

He raised his eyebrow, but his body relaxed even further in your embrace. “You never mentioned this.”

“The last thing I want is for you to worry about me when you’re about to perform for thousands of people.” You sighed.

He hummed in understanding, but rebutted, leaning down to place kisses on your cheek. “I want to worry about you. You’re the most important person in my life.”

“I’m telling your mom that.”

“Please don’t.” He pouted and took a moment to run his index finger across your eyebrows and down your nose. “I haven’t been able to sleep either.”

You pinched San's waist, drawing out a small yelp from him. “San! You promised you were taking care of yourself.”

“I was, I swear…but it really started to hit me a month into the tour. It was so hard not seeing your clothes all over the floor.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “Huh? You make me sound like a slob…”

“What I mean is…the only reminder of you that I had with me was the pendant you gave me and your pictures in my phone. Nothing felt like home.”

“Oh. I almost wish that was all I had of you. Everything in this apartment and this city reminded me of you. It only made me miss you more.” His thumb stroked your cheek. "I know it's your job, but I hate when you leave."

“Me too, baby." San's eyes softened when they met your glossy ones, a small pang in his heart. He couldn't help himself as he brought his lips to yours, inhaling your sigh. What started off as soft kisses, grew more eager, months of deprivation just barely being chipped away.

San let out a noise between a whine and a groan as he pulled away. "I missed this,” he cups your face before dragging his thumb from your cheek to your now wet bottom lip. “And this.” He kisses the tip of your nose and continues to leave a perfect path of pecks down the side of your face. “This.” He places a kiss on your earlobe before taking it between his teeth, gently nipping. “You,” he whispers in your ear. “Us.” His lips leave a trail of kisses down your neck. The breath of his sigh tickles your skin, sending chills up and down your body.

You push San’s hair out his face, running your fingers through his silky, dark locks. You close your eyes, feeling your body relax just a bit too much. As badly as you wanted to keep going, exhaustion was beginning to eat away at you. “Sannie.”

“Hmm?”

“We should sleep.”

“Continue later?”

“Yes, please.”

a/n: San took a shower before falling asleep btw he is not stinky.,,,all my fics are lowkey the same lol

[iheartsophie]

Surprise!!

Harry Lewis (W2S) x Fem!Reader (3.6k words)

Summary: Reader surprises Harry during the Sidemen’s “$20,000 VS $200 HOLIDAY” after not seeing eachother for a month

Warnings: Swearing, PDA, small panic attack, NOT PROOF READ!!!!

Author note: i linked “I Got U” as a song because i feel like that is the most summer feeling song i know and im missing summer rn

So a bit of backstory, Josh has planned a $20,000 vs $200 holiday an he called me around two weeks ago asking if I would join in the video and surprise Harry as well as the other lads- of course I said yes! I’ve currently been away on a business trip for the past month and I haven’t been able to see Harry, the only way I’ve seen him is on FaceTime which isn’t the same as seeing and hearing his voice in person. Every week when the boys have been recording they’ve secretly been messaging me and sending me photos of Harry moping around and complaining about how he won’t see me for an extra week due to the holiday video. The only people who do know are Josh, Kon, Kirsty, Cal and Freezy. Cal and Freezy are also tagging along to surprise the boys.

As soon as my last business meeting was over I rushed out of the doors and directly onto the train home because I needed to pack as soon as possible because I would not have time to in the morning because Mr. Josh Zerkaa decided to book the earliest flight in existence, Cal and Freezy were fine with it; me on the other hand, I was fuming… because that means I’m missing out on my beauty sleep!

(The night before surprising Harry… )

After the excruciatingly long train ride from Manchester to London I was finally back home at mine and Harry’s shared apartment, it was weird walking in through the doors and not having Harry greet me at the door was a hug and a kiss.. but I reminded myself I would be in the same country as him in just short of 17 hours. I headed towards our bedroom and threw on some pjs which consisted of one of Harry’s t shirts and some shorts. Packing was a nightmare, let’s just put it that way. I had not been on holiday in so long and I had forgotten how stressful it is making sure you have enough necessities to last you the time you’re away and also making sure you have not forgotten anything… So I just grabbed all of my clothes that were in my “summer side” of the wardrobe and tried to stuff it into one suitcase and that did not work, so I ended up with two family sized suitcases almost bursting at the seams full of my things.

As soon as I had finished packing I went to make a quick pot noodle in the microwave as I knew I wouldn’t tend to the dishes in the morning and I don’t want to come back to messy dishes after the holiday and I definitely don’t think Harry would either. As I was eating my pot noodle my phone started buzzing, I looked at the contact “Bog 💙” - I answered straight away

(Italic- Harry)

“Hello (y/n/n)”

“Hiya babe you okay? How’s the trip so far?”

“Could be better… The trip is alright , I’m on the good team so that’s good I guess, could be better if you were here”

“Aww I’m missing you too, don’t get yourself down love, only 5 more days left! Then you’ll be back home and we can go see that movie you wanted to see if you’re up for it”

“I know and of course I want to go to the movie are you mad! My all time favourite movie franchise ever”

(I giggled as I heard JJ, Tobi and Josh in the background telling harry to get off the phone and go to the sauna with them)

I shouted down the phone

“Oi you lot shut your mouth we are talking over here! Anyways, I best get going I need to call Cal and Freezy to make sure they’re up and ready early in the morning tomorrow”

Shit, I’ve slipped up…

Harry frowned at me through the phone

“What do you mean? Why do you need to do that?”

What do I say? Think y/n. Think!

“Oh! Did I not tell you? We’re going on a hike tomorrow, yeah! To the Lake District?”

“Ohhh okay, yeah best let you go then. Love you!”

“Love you too, bye!”

That was close… I can’t believe that just happened. How did I manage that? Anyways, I put my empty pot noodle in the bin and put the fork in the dishwasher to deal with later. I went into the bathroom and completed my night routine and got into bed, and quickly messaged Cal and Freezy to have their alarms set and where we will meet at the airport in the morning. Soon after that I dozed off…

(Time skip to the getting off the train)

As I was getting off the train I got a message from harry:

“Bog 💙: Have a nice day with the boys, please don’t push them off the mountain🙏, love you”

I sent a quick message back:

“I’ll try my hardest, love you too”

I somehow bumped into Cal and Freezy at the train station instead of at the airport, they both brought their cameras to get footage of us on the way their so the editors can put it in and we have our own little segments in the video. “Look who we have here…” Cal teased, “Mrs. Harry Lewis”. “Not a mrs yet, I’m still waiting” I corrected while holding up my left hand beholding my empty ring finger. After that small segment they put their cameras away and we caught a taxi and made our way to the airport. Getting out of the taxi was a struggle not for the boys, just for me, because of my two huge suitcases it was hard trying to pick them up and out of the boot of the taxi. And instead of the boys ,who are meant to be like brothers to me, helping me get them out they just filmed me while laughing in the background and caught a clip of my tripping over the suitcase which was behind me. “You’re both such dicks, wait till I tell Harry”, “What is Harry going to do? Cause I can bet you £100 right here that he will laugh too.”

We finally made track down the road to the airport and Freezy started filming a little bit with Cal next to him and me behind them still struggling with my suitcases, which you can imagine is causing me some unneeded anger. “As you can see y/n finally got her suitcases out and we are on the way to the best holiday, we are going to the best destination. Thank you sidemen for this holiday, we really appreciate it”, “Bro you’re such an arse licker, you just want to be on the good team if you’re invited again!” I pointed out, Cal turned around to me “Now, now, y/n don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same thing.” I stayed silent and they both laughed.

“We are on our way to meet- surprise them, they have no idea that we’re going I’ve been playing tricks with Harry all week, y/n told us that she nearly slipped up on the plan”, “I didn’t mean to! I feel so bad lying to him, he told me to have a good day in the Lake District and to message him when we get there.. he’s going to be so worried when I don’t message him.”

(Time skip to when we’re in the airport)

Poor Cal is not having a good time, he’s left his phone on the train and now his bag has been chosen for a search and I know this isn’t about me but I just want to get on that plane now, and all of this messing about is causing me to stress so bad and I can’t talk to harry about it because it will give away our secret so I just keep to myself and put my headphones on.

We’re finally on the plane, at last! But the only problem is I haven’t told the boys I’m scared because whenever I’m on a plane I’m usually with Harry and he can just sense my worry and comforts me without me having to tell him or ask him to. Though only Freezy is aware because of when I went skiing with him and Harry and started crying when that plane took off. When plane started to move my breathing started to pick up and I leat my elbows on my knees and looked down. Unbeknownst to me Cal and Freezy looked at each other over my body and mouthed to eachother “Is she alright?” Cal asked, “She’s terrified of flying” Freezy pointed out. Freezy tapped my shoulder for me to look at him and when I did he opened his arms for me to go into and he hugged me while I cried into his shoulder, and whilst I did he was rubbing my back and trying to soothe me the best he could.

It took me a few minutes to calm down and when I did Cal let me watch a movie on his laptop, which lasted almost the whole flight. We finally landed and all three of us made sure we turned out locations of for the boys, whilst we were doing that all the messages that didn’t send because we were on the plane we’re coming through, all of mine were from Harry and a few of the boys..

Bog💙: message me when you arrive so I know you got there safely x

Bog💙: and don’t forget to tell me if Cal slips up the hill again

Bog💙 hello? It’s been 3 hours now surely you’re almost there by now

Bog💙: why aren’t my messages going through are you okay?

Bog💙: babe please tell me you’re okay

Tobi: Harry’s freaking out are you okay? Please let us know

JJ: Fam what are you playing at, are you alr??

(Time skip to getting to the harbour)

I quickly replied to them all reassuring them I’m okay and that I forgot about telling Harry I arrived. Josh messaged us to tell us to meet at the harbour with our suitcases because we can leave them on the yacht when we get to it. So while we were waiting for Josh to get here we found a British bar and we ordered a nice English breakfast each, though while we were waiting I went to the bathroom and got changed into a bikini and put some denim shorts over the top and some of my nice sandals on. We finished our breakfast and Josh arrived outside the bar.

Josh took us to the yacht they had rented and where we were going to surprise the boys, and we chose were we were hiding and a code word Josh will say for when we were to jump out which was “chips”, though they told me to come out a little bit later as an extra EXTRA surprise for harry. Cal and Freezy hid behind the seat were the wheel was and I was at the bottom of the stairs on the lower deck, enough to hear Josh but also enough so Tobi, JJ, and harry walk last and don’t suspect anything.

Everything was in place and ready to go. Now we were just waiting and anticipating the boys’ arrival. Josh mumbled that he could see the boys and I slightly looked over the steps to make sure Cal and Freezy were hidden and I couldn’t see them so I did I little nod to myself and ducked back down because they finally listened to something for once. I could started to hear the boys, I could hear Tobi repeating “you’re a king, you’re a king” to Josh and JJ saying “oh my god” and the nervous laugh I could recognise anywhere, harry. I started to get butterflies in my belly coming to terms that I’m seeing harry for the first time in a while.

“I’m buzzing to eat these chips”

All you could hear on the yacht was cheering and laughing. And Harry’s infamous screams. All the boys ran to hug each other and tackled each other. When it all calmed down Harry went silent as if piecing things together, “Whats the matter Harry?” Tobi questioned, “If Cal and Freezy are here, where’s y/n then?” and I took that as my queue to come up the stairs with a tray of drinks. “Hello? Special delivery” ( yes when I was in the lower deck I found the bar and made everyone drinks) Harry just stood up and stared at me, while Tobi and JJ ran up to me, I was quick to put the drinks on the closets surface to save them from being spilt everywhere. I welcomed Tobi and JJ with a hug. When they let go Harry had finally took it all in and realised I was here and ran towards me and tackled me onto the large sofa and gave me the biggest hug and repeating how much he had missed me.

The boys went up to the other side of the boat to give me and Harry some space to speak a bit and catch up, I told him about how my business meeting went well and how my brand is expanding and he was telling me about how the shoots were. We sat in comfortable silence after our conversation and I looked down at his legs and realised he was wearing sweat shorts and frowned, “You know I don’t think those are the best shorts to swim in”, “Don’t worry I’ve got some swim trunks with me”, “Where?”, He reached to his shoulder to prove that he has them and that they’re slung over his shoulder, I started laughing “I think you’ve flung them off the boat in excitement. We both looked over the side of the boat and low and behold there they were, bobbing along in the water. “Oh for fucks sake”

(Time skip)

It was soon time to have a bit of a feast on the boat me and harry sat next to eachother. Cal, Freezy and I weren’t that hungry considering about an hour and a half ago we had a full English, so we just stuck to some picky bits. There were many laughs and stories exchanged at the table mainly questions towards me cal and Freezy about how long we knew about this and how I managed to keep it a secret from harry.

Josh excused himself from the table to answer a phone call from Ethan which we all predicted was him complaint about the conditions he was currently in, we all told Josh to put it on speaker phone so we could hear his complaints and we were all creasing in laughter, at one point I wheezed which all the boys could recognise anywhere. Ethan picked up on it and shouted down the phone “Oi! Was that y/n? What the fuck, traitor! You said you would never go to the good team.” , “I fear you heard me wrong Behz, I said “I would never go to the good team if you were on it” “, my answers errupted in laughter and screams of shock from the boys. I then left and walked away to go a sunbathe and enjoy myself for a while.

With my headphones on and music playing I spent at least an hour sunbathing, unaware of the carnage going on around me. So when I took my headphones off and heard screaming and jet ski engines blaring I was very confused of how they did all this without disturbing me. I got up out of the deck chair and the whole top deck was soaked in wet foot prints and discarded towels, I watched over the side of the boat as the boys were jumping into the deep blue sea. Though all of a sudden I heard wet feet plodding behind me and I turned around to harry creeping up on me. “Harry, no!” “What are you talking about? I’m not going to do anything” I was then picked up and thrown into the water, harry still clinging onto me, “Harold! Why would you do that!” I scolded. “Just helping you cool off,” he shrugged. While all this happened the boys were looking down at us pointing and laughing.

I stayed in the ocean for a while until they started circling me with jet skis and trying to peer pressure me into going on the surf board, which i declined straight away and also the fact I was getting tired from the travelling and then sun beaming down on me. So I climbed back up the ladder and propped a nice parasol up to give me some shade and I decided to have a nap. A couple of minutes later I was woken up by Harry sitting next to me, “Why aren’t you laying down?” I asked, “I didn’t want to wake you and get you wet because you’ve seemed to have dried off and caught the sun already!”, “Don’t be silly come here.” I told him and opened my arms for him to cuddle into, and I started to play with his wet and tousled hair which he hummed in reply to. We both dozed off in each others hold, I did hear a camera shutter near by though I thought nothing of it a just thought it was Kirsty taking pictures of the boys on the jet skis. I jolted awake when I felt this large weight on top of my body and opened my eyes to see all the boys piling on top of me and harry, “what are you doing!” I exclaimed, “we’re basking in the love!” One of them replied and started making kissing noises to eachother, which me and harry both laughed at.

(Time skip to the villa)

Freezy pulled out his camera and started speaking “Lux, y/n this is the first time we’re gonna see it [the villa], we know it’s sick though because we know we’re in the good team.”

We got out of the car and I held Harry’s hand and walked up to the gates, waiting for them to open. Me and harry stayed behind the group because we haven’t had much alone time together since I arrived so we just distanced ourselves a little. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, “You tired?” Harry asked me “oh my gosh yes, I can’t wait to go to bed.” I groaned. When the gates opened my jaw dropped, this place was stunning, I want to live here!

“One thing is though these aren’t filled with water,” harry pointed at the small fountain at the front door, “I may have to leave a four star review because if this.” I slapped Harry’s shoulder jokingly “Don’t even start!” We walked through the front doors and me and JJ looked at eachother and immediately knew what to do, and I let go of Harry’s hand i quickly stood next to JJ and we started to sing the halo theme tune together in the large foyer. As we finished the boys laughed and and Freezy said “Ayy that’s the halo soundtrack!”

The boys started to give us a tour round the place and I was shocked at the size of the kitchen and the the large living room that looks out into the garden and also there’s a lift! They took us to the garden and told Cal, Freezy and I to face away and then turn around. JJ counted us down from 3 and when we turned around my eyes widened- the view was breathtaking…”you’ve got a mountain, in your back garden!” I exclaimed. The tour lasted awhile which I wasn’t surprised about because look at the size of this place. When they mentioned the poker table, mini arcade and the sauna I decided to find mine and Harry’s shared room and unpack my things because those things don’t interest me at all.

I had to memorise the route to mine and Harry’s room and started to unpack and when i finished I plopped myself onto the bed and let out a large sigh out of exhaustion. I heard the bedroom door open and close ,but I was too tired to lift my head up, and I felt the bed sink next to me and someone started to play with my hair. I opened my eyes to see Harry smiling down at me, “Did you see Freezys instagram story?” Harry questioned, “No not yet why?”, “Look..”

Calfreezy posted an instagram story…

“Aww they’re so cute! - even though I’ve been here for half a day already I’ve had so much fun.” I told harry, “I’m glad, because I’m really happy you’re here because you don’t know how much I’ve missed you, it’s been so boring and lonely coming home to no one for a month!”, “Don’t worry I couldn’t handle it either, I even told them at my meeting that from now on I’m working from home, so I can be with you more often.” Harry smiled and kissed my forehead. “Shall we get a shower and into some pjs and chill downstairs or do you want to watch a movie up here?” He asked me. “I think I want to watch a movie with you!” We went and got our shower and into some pjs which mine -again- consisted of one of Harry’s shirts and some shorts. We got tucked into bed and chose a movie that we both enjoy and I laid back and cuddle into harry and laying my head on his chest. We both fell into a deep slumber, not without saying “I love you” to eachother.

[angelicameron]

secret - rafe cameron ᡣ𐭩

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary: y/n and rafe have been in a secret situationship for three months now and she’s fed up, wanting nothing more than to openly express her love for him.

warnings: use of y/n, profanity, slight angst, fluff, cringe, not proofread, idk what else

credits: based off this prompt by @dumplingsjinson

“I want to let the world know how much I’m fucking in love with you yet that’s the exact opposite of what you want.”

a/n: ah i’m sorry, this is not proof read and i’m only new to writing, feel free to leave feedback in the comments!

masterlist

i’ve been friends with sarah since i was born, our families are quite close, meaning i also grew up with rafe. for as long as i can remember i’ve had feelings for him, but didn’t think he felt the same, but one day he admitted his feelings for me and we’ve been a secret situationship since. no labels and certainly no publicity. i keep trying to hint to rafe that i want it to be public but he seems to always shut down the idea with a quick, “not yet baby, soon though, yeah?” but that day never seems to come.

one night i’m at the bonfire party and i spot rafe and his friends, walking upto him. i know whatever we have going on is secret, but surely i could still talk to him, right? after all i’ve known him my whole life, we’re family friends. once i’m over there though he only speaks to me a little, mainly ignoring me. after a while i got fed up and stormed off to my friends. as i glanced back over my shoulder, i saw the confusion and slight guilt in his expression at seeing me angry and upset but quickly masked it back with his usual ‘tough’ expression. typical.

that was about a week ago now, i haven’t talked to him since. he’s messaged me and called me countless times but i haven’t responded. it’s 11pm and i’m in my house, getting ready for bed, and he sends more messages, again.

rafe 💗

come on baby please

im so fucking sorry

just talk to me, yeah?

you know i love you

please don’t do this

i’m sick of this. sick of him acting like i’m always gonna be there no matter how much he fucks up. i ignore his messages and get into bed, leaving him on read. usually he would’ve sent a goodnight message by now, he had done so every night since we confessed our feelings, even this past week, when i’ve been ignoring him, but he hasn’t yet. weird. but i choose to ignore it.

i begin to drift off to sleep when suddenly i hear a knock at my door and jump. who the fuck would be here at this time? it’s almost 11:30pm?

rafe 💗

open the door for me please.

i need to see you.

of course it’s rafe. i know him well enough to know he’s not gonna leave til he sees me, he’ll continue knocking til then. so i walk downstairs and unlock the door, staring at him with a blank expression. “what the fuck do you want rafe?” “you.” he respond plainly. his words give me butterflies but i push it down since i’m mad at him. “please just talk to me?” he adds. “fine, come in.” he wanders into my house, a soft, relieved smile on his face, and i close the door behind him. “why have you been ignoring me baby?” the second i hear those words leave his lips i scoff. “why? are you seriously fucking asking me why right now? are you joking?” i notice he’s slighted taken aback by my words but recovers quickly and speaks again. “no i’m not joking, why haven’t you spoken to me for a whole week? i thought we agreed to keep this secret?” he’s still speaking somewhat softly, yet frustrated. “yeah, we agreed to keep a secret for a little bit, then we were gonna be public and official, remember that? it’s been 3 months rafe. i’m done hiding” my tone is laced with exhaustion, clearly fed up with all this sneaking around we’ve been doing. “it was fun for a little, but i’m sick of it.” he sighs and runs his hands across his face. “just a little longer baby please-” my face becomes even more frustrated as he says that. is he fucking serious? that’s all he ever says. “no rafe, no more saying ‘just a little longer’, you always do that and it’s ridiculous. you said that when i asked to be public a week into.. whatever the fuck this is, then a two weeks, three, four, a month, two months, now three months and plenty of times in between. i’m done. you either wanna do this or you don’t. are you ashamed of me or something” i rant, slightly raising my voice. “what? no! of course i’m not embarrassed of you baby. i’m just- scared. you know i don’t exactly have the reputation of somebody who commits and-” “seriously? this is about your fucking reputation? oh my god i’m gonna lose it. if you’re too worried about your player reputation and wanting to keep that image then by all means, go for it, but count me out rafe. you can’t just toy me along forever. i’m looking for something real. i want to let the world know how much I’m fucking in love with you yet that’s the exact opposite of what you want, so i’m done. i’m done with the games.” …silence. “baby.. listen to me please, no interruptions. it’s not the fact that i want to be seen as a player, it’s that i know the reputation i have and if we go public- well i know everyone will try and change your mind about me. convince you i’m not good enough, and fuck, i know that, but i don’t want you to think that. i’m trying to be better for you, i’m trying to get to a point where i’m so good to you, there’s no way you’d believe that, i just- don’t know if i’m there yet.” he blurts out, eyes tearing up, desperately trying to get his point across. my expression softens. “oh rafe.. you don’t have to worry about someone changing my mind. you’re all i’ve wanted ever, nothings going to change that.” i reach up and hold his face in my hands, his arms instinctively coming around my waist. “really?” “really.”

we continue talking that night and he stays over, the next day we go on a real date, and he asks me to be his girlfriend, officially. we’re actually in public now, not hiding anymore, telling people we’re together and i’ve never been happier.

taglist: i don’t have a taglist yet! comment if you wanna be on one though, and specify who for or if you wanna be tagged for everything!

[mmirx]

AFTERTHOUGHT ⋆⑅˚₊

Who were you if not unremarkable? You had finally come into terms that you are someone who was meant to stay in everyone’s shadow, but not until you met Caleb, or so you thought.

cw/tags: PART 3 of this, university au, non-mc reader, frat guy caleb (but not really important), angst, jealousy, self-loathing (please just lmk if i missed more cw, i just cant identify more as of now)

note: idk what im doing lmao kidding nway, wrote this in one sitting bcs it was the only chance i had after the loooong week i had. alsoooo, i take it back, i might make this longer bcs i haven't explored some parts in the previous chapters. PLUS THANK YOU GUYS FOR READINGGGG!!!

word count: 1.7k

You’re at your breaking point—or at least you were weeks ago. Now, you weren’t even sure what prompted you to fill your schedule to no end; leaving no room for any sort of self-care at all. But, you were adamant in accepting the truth that it was not the answer to the hole that Caleb left you.

Nothing can ever fill the part that he took from you the moment you let him in your life because he wasn’t just any bystander that you knew would leave you. When you thought that you were finally worth being a recipient of one’s genuine attention was the moment you should’ve known that you have once again been defeated by the nature of love itself. He curated a room in your life. One that you thought you were the center of almost letting yourself believe that someone is capable of doing that for you.

But now, you weren’t sure at all, no you were, but for the fact that he wouldn’t do anything that deep for you.

The reason? Well, she’s standing in front of you right now. Eyes filled with worry and hint of anger while refusing to let you speak. However, you knew why, mad at you for cutting your connection with them—not completely—by deactivating your social media accounts, and even going as far as ignoring messages and calls with your ‘previous’ number. But you can’t just disregard your own sake to ‘bring back old times,’ her own words to keep up a dramatic flair.

“What? Like four weeks ago?” she retorted after hearing your reasoning about being busy with the conference. MC was right—it ended a month ago, and you were aware of the fact that you haven’t been with her for more than a month. 

“I know, I know but I took up a new volunteering gig…”you said trying your best to muster up a half lie. It’s true though that you joined a volunteering group, but they haven’t even demanded an hour of your life. How were you supposed to tell her that you’ve been neglecting her because of Caleb? Her literal childhood bestfriend?

You stared at her profoundly, and if you weren’t, you would’ve missed the moment she hesitated to say something. What was that?

“Come with me,” she said in a beat, grabbing your wrist, “don’t try to run away this time, got it?”

“Where–” trying to loosen her grip–“are you taking me?” 

Of course, in her true nature, she ignored you. You knew that you didn’t have a chance to flee this, so like a trolley, you let her drag you in God knows where.

Walking for minutes across the campus didn’t feel as irksome as it once used to be. The sun was also present with wind as its companion. Looking around, you realized that maybe you were too busy trying to distract yourself in a way that your body probably hates you for now. Completely oblivious of the fact that you missed out the times that the sun had waited for you. 

Your optimism didn’t last very long though.

Holding your wrist on one hand and taking her phone out on the other hand, your heart almost jumped out the moment she uttered his name. What in the fresh hell?

You heard how she hissed his name accompanied with insults that were somehow out of character of her because they were said as if she dipped them out personally from hell. 

“MC!” you shouted with eyes unintentionally widening. “Is he coming with us?”

But to no avail, she waved her hand dismissing you as if you. You couldn't help yourself to roll your eyes at her. She was literally insisting to spend time with you a moment ago, and now she’s dismissing you because of him? Well, that sounded bitter of you.

Curiosity growing as they spoke, you were about to ask what they’re talking about but—

“Alright, let’s go,” MC cut you off with no intention of letting you ask questions. It was weird, a moment ago she seemed okay, but she looks pissed right now. You knew that she’s hiding her annoyance, it almost made you laugh, where did her acting skills go?

However, it made you wonder, what happened when you were busy trying to avoid them? Did a ‘progress’ finally take place when you were gone? Maybe Caleb didn’t even notice your absence—he might have been grateful too that there’s one less person to divide MC’s attention from him. If that is so, then it’s high time for you to get a grip and move on.

Your mind wandered to possible scenarios that happened between them during the last few weeks. It makes your stomach turn upside down. As if something has flipped your organs  intentionally to rattle you for being stupid enough to like someone, and you hate it. You’re human and you know you’re bound to fall in love with someone, but at the same, at your bestfriend? Really? Were you even his bestfriend? 

Like a bell, you were again reminded of what you heard weeks ago.

No, you weren’t his bestfriend, just a mere someone he didn’t even know how he managed to tolerate.

I don't even know how I managed to put up with her.

What you hated even more is that if he really did feel that way, why act as if you’ve meant something bigger in his life? As if you were a significant chapter in his life. As if one that he needed to make sure to be appreciated by himself and every person in the story of his.

Busy with your inner monologue—about the sole reason you ended up with an unhealthy way of coping in life healthy for the system that exploits you but not for your own body—you didn’t realize where you were now.

Looking around, it’s the hidden part of the campus where you used to frequent with the two of them. You can feel it—something good isn’t about to happen. One that you spent weeks trying to ward off.

“MC…” you called her attention, noticing how busy she was trying to spot something, “please tell me he’s not here.” 

You wanted her to lie because at least that’d bring you comfort even for a moment. The air suddenly felt like it was meant to bring suffocation. Your hands torn between emitting heat to ward off the cold that the weather brought or bringing a feeling of dampness with sweat that you’d always hated. Either way, you felt revulsion towards anything at the moment.

MC was looking at you as if she was silently asking for your forgiveness. Her eyes trying to tell a code that you couldn’t decipher. But you couldn't muster any kind words, at least not until she puts her plea for forgiveness in words. Then—

A voice came from behind you. One that you haven’t heard for weeks calling your name like a prayer. At that moment, you hated how your body responded to his call. His eyes wandered on you as if finally making up for the moments that he’d been deprived of the privilege of setting eyes on it.

It took all your strength to not shift away your gaze from him. 

But you had to face MC, “What’s this?” you asked laced with rage rather than confusion while pointing at Caleb. “And I thought, it was you actually wanting us to spend time together.”

“Well, for starters, I don’t see an issue with me bringing you here to see Caleb? You’ve been avoiding us, and now, you’re mad?”

“I wasn’t but I certainly am now!”

“It was my idea,” Caleb interjected, “don’t be mad at her, she wasn’t at fault.”

Still protecting her? 

“No, I’m not done with her. MC, trying to be a good samaritan?” your voice dripped with sarcasm. “Helping us make up? If we were thirteen, that would be cute, but for fuck’s sake we’re pushing mid-twenties, so it’s just plain stupid.”

You didn’t miss how her eyes flickered with pain and if your heart was’t throbbing with anger right now, you would’ve reached out her hands to apologize. But how can you, in this state, think rationally?

“I’m sorry. I understand your anger but I needed to.” You hated how even in moments like this, she’ll be the ever-so-nice person that she is. “I’m leaving, please, talk.”

With that, you didn’t try to stop her because what’s the point in trying? This was their plan. 

“Don’t blame her, I insisted on her doing this,” Caleb said, taking you out of your own mind. It infuriated you because what is he truly planning to get from this?

He didn’t see you as someone who’s worthy of his affection. He made that clear when you heard him talking with his friends. That was enough to repel you from his life. Plus the fact that you have been slipping away from him.

What you couldn’t put your fingers on right now is why does it feel like his gaze at you in this moment is trying to tell you a different story?

“You’re avoiding me,” he said, more of an accusement than a statement. 

“If I am?” you tested him. Suddenly, you were back with your habit of biting the inside of your mouth when you’re nervous. Little did you know, he noticed that, because he knows you as if he’d study the book of your life—wanting to be a part of it in a way where he’ll never be written out.

“Why?” he begged, voice dripping with desperation that made your skin crawl. “Tell me what I did.” 

“I’d beg heaven just for you to forgive me.” You averted your gaze from his as you pondered how you hated how convincing he sounded. You hated every moment of it because all of a sudden you were back where you were a few months ago. Silently cursing yourself for being weak from everything that he does, you didn’t get a chance to speak at all.

Missing every wave of emotions on his face, you kept your mouth shut, not knowing what to say because it all felt unreal.

“Anything, just don’t tell me you’re with someone.”

What?

tag(s): @justpassingdontworry @jadeymeciela @i-messed-up-big-time @rxelarailuj @albatrossblues

[so-writing]

don't forget to water the plants (2) -- Quinn Hughes

Read part one here! It is missing Quinn hours, enjoyyyyy!

--

It should be easy to pull the tattered sticky note off the window and toss it into the trash, along with the dead and dying plants you left for Quinn to dispose of.

Not cool, he thinks to himself as he places a new piece of tape over the dried edges of the post it note, not fucking cool.

It’s all he can think of at the moment, because he’s too busy putting pots into the sink for water and cleaning up dead leaves that had fallen to the ground. If he’s being honest, he’s never really given a fuck about your plants.

Until you stopped giving a fuck about them, because, what the fuck? Why would you leave them behind? You took everything, every ounce of you, erased from the home you once shared and you left your plants behind? 

It didn’t make sense to Quinn. 

Until it did. 

The only plant missing, as much as he didn’t want to admit to realizing it, was your snake plant.  Your favorite one. The only one you bought together.

*

“I think I want this to be the one?” 

“You don’t sound so sure,” Quinn comes up and hugs you from behind, “it doesn’t have to be this one.”

“No,” you shrug him off with a laugh while he pretends to pout, “this is the one.” 

“Fine,” Quinn rolls his eyes and pretends to be irritated, “but we’ve got to make sure that this one grows and thrives the best. It’s the most important one.” 

“It will, we’ll make sure.” 

*

Quinn doesn’t realize how deeply he feels until he’s hunched over the bathroom sink trying not to throw up. Salty tears slid down his cheeks and into his hoodie and no amount of heavy breathing and water settle his stomach. He wants to empty his body of everything that has anything to do with you because he knows he fucked up. 

If he’s able to get every piece of you out of him, maybe he can move on in peace. 

Several weeks pass. Quinn is dealing with an upper body injury that keeps him off the ice and he has more than enough time to sit with his thoughts because of it. 

He can’t move on, because he doesn’t fucking want to. 

Quinn has decided that he isn’t ready to give you up, even though he already did, because he made a mistake. 

The air in Vancouver is cold in early March and Quinn hurries into the greenhouse as fast as his feet can carry him. He talks to the people working about nearly every plant in the place before he settles on one he thinks is the best. 

“Thank you,” he smiles at the cashier, “have a great day.” 

He’s quick to leave and gentle with placing the new plant in the passenger’s seat of his car and buckling the seatbelt around it because why not? 

The drive back to Quinn’s apartment, the one you used to share, is short and he treats his new purchase like it’s worth a million dollars as he removes it from the car and takes it inside. 

She isn’t pricey, but she’s worth more than anything Quinn has ever touched. He isn’t sure why you don’t have one already. 

Quinn carefully removes her from the back of his car and walks gently up to his apartment with her in his hands. He sets the pot on the top shelf, the one with the most sunlight, and snaps a picture of her. 

It’s a risky move, the two of you haven’t had any contact in several months and Quinn knows you don’t want to talk to him. He can’t help himself though, he has to try one more time. 

'Hope you’re well.’

He snaps a photo of the plant, a philodendron—pink princess—and sends the message before tossing his phone on the couch and starting to spiral. 

“Hope you’re well? How fucking stupid? Obviously? Does it even make sense?”

Quinn is too busy talking himself off and then back on and over a ledge to hear his phone vibrate against his plush couch cushions. He doesn’t expect any response at all, but you read it immediately and, despite your hesitancy to be in his life again, you respond. 

*

Well, you roll your eyes and pretend to be unbothered by Quinn’s text, shit. 

You can barely believe you’re even hearing from him, let alone seeing a photo of a plant he purchased on his own. He has never given a damn about your green thumb, so there’s something deeply annoying this. 

It’s so nice that he’s purchased a plant, one you love, and is trying to give it the best life he can. Really, it’s wonderful, and he probably thinks he’s doing a good thing and working his way into your good graces. 

And, he would be there, if it wasn't months after the two of you ended your relationship. Quinn could buy a million fucking plants and treat them like goddamn royalty and he still wouldn’t get it. 

Because it’s too late. 

It feels like a final nail in the coffin. It feels like the end credits of a movie you spent entirely too long paying attention to and wasn’t even that good of a watch. It feels like it’s actually, truly over.

Because,

Quinn didn’t give a damn about your plants when you were together. He didn’t care at all about the love and care you put into them when you were in his life. He was never interested in learning about them or caring for them. They were just things, your things, that lived in your home and needed attention. 

Now, 

He is suddenly interested in and buying one of your favorite plants and seemingly treating it like gold. Which is great, that is absolutely great, but it’s too late, for you anyway. 

For the first time in a long time, because you’ve spent so much time missing Quinn so fucking much, you truly feel done.

'It’s lovely. Don’t forget to water it.'

[sturnsblogs]

JUST BE FRIENDS

Fratboy!chris x toxic!fwb!reader

—

They haven’t talked in a month.

Thirty silent days.

You left him on read more times than you could count—and every time you almost caved, almost typed something back, you’d remember how easy it was for him to leave. How he made you feel like you weren’t enough, even when you were giving everything.

But that didn’t stop him from texting.

chris:

you still mad at me?

i know i fucked up. just please don’t leave me like this.

chris:

i don’t even know how to do this shit

like… being a boyfriend

i never had to learn before you.

and now i’m scared i ruined the only good thing i ever had.

chris:

i’m scared you hate me

i’m scared you’re gonna move on and actually find someone who knows how to love you right

and i’ll have to watch that happen knowing it should’ve been me.

chris:

please just talk to me.

i’ll take whatever you give me. a call. a text. a slap in the face. i don’t care.

chris:

i don’t sleep. i don’t eat.

i keep thinking about the look on your face that morning.

i keep hearing your voice saying my name like it didn’t even sound like me to you anymore.

chris:

i’m scared you meant it when you said you were done

because i’m not. not even a little bit.

chris:

i don’t know how to be good at this.

but i swear to god i’d learn if it meant keeping you.

chris:

you make me want to be someone better

and i don’t even know where to start without you.

chris:

please. say something.

chris:

anything.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Your phone had been silent all day, just how you liked it lately. But something in you cracked tonight. Maybe it was the way his last message sat there, unread. Maybe it was the ache in your chest that hadn’t left for weeks. Maybe it was just weakness. Either way, your fingers moved before your brain could stop them.

you:

hi.

You didn’t expect a reply immediately, but it came within seconds.

chris:

oh my god

hi

hi hi hi

you texted me. holy shit

chris:

can i come over??

please. i swear i won’t fuck it up.

i just need to see you. i’ll sleep on the floor. we don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to

please baby i miss you so much

chris:

i haven’t even looked at another girl. i swear on everything.

i miss your voice. your face. the way you yell at me when i piss you off.

everything.

You sat there staring at the screen, heart tight in your chest.

you:

just to talk. nothing else.

chris:

yes. yes, okay. just to talk.

i’ll be there in 10.

And he was. Ten minutes later, there was a soft knock on your door. You hesitated, then opened it.

He looked exhausted. Hair messy, dark circles under his eyes, hoodie wrinkled like he hadn’t changed in days. But his eyes lit up the second he saw you.

“Hi,” he whispered, like he couldn’t believe you were real.

You didn’t say anything—just moved aside to let him in.

The tension was thick as he stepped inside, shoving his hands in his pockets, unsure, awkward for once. He was nervous. Like he didn’t know where to stand.

You crossed your arms. “So. Talk.”

He nodded quickly, stepping closer. “I meant everything I said. Every single text. I haven’t stopped thinking about you, not once. And I know I’m not good at this, and I know I’ve hurt you, but I just—”

He stepped forward again, closer, slowly… then leaned in, his face inches from yours, eyes soft.

But you pulled back immediately, shaking your head. “Chris…”

He froze, eyes searching yours.

“I told you. We’re just talking.”

He swallowed hard, backing up, shame painting his face. “Right. Sorry.”

You sat down on the couch, and he followed. Silence stretched for a beat before you finally spoke.

“I think we should just be friends.”

Chris’s whole body stiffened. “What?”

“I think… that’s all we can be,” you said, voice quieter now. “I’m not doing this anymore. Not the back and forth. Not the disappearing. Not the waking up alone like I meant nothing. I can’t.”

His jaw clenched, chest rising and falling harder now. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth.”

Chris shook his head, eyes wide and shining now. “No, no you don’t mean that. We’re not just friends. We never were. I know you still feel it.”

“I do,” you admitted. “But feeling it doesn’t mean I should do it again.”

He suddenly dropped to his knees in front of you, hands grabbing your thighs gently, like you were going to disappear.

“Please. Don’t do this. I’ll change. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just tell me what to do. Please.”

But you just stared at him, heart breaking all over again. Because you wanted to say yes. You wanted to reach for him. But you couldn’t.

“Get up, Chris.”

He looked up at you, breath shaky. “Y/N…”

“I can’t keep hurting myself over you.”

You didn’t realize you were crying until you felt the tears hit your fingers.

He didn’t move.

Neither did you.

Everything was quiet—except your heart shattering again.

Chris was still on his knees, hands clutching at your thighs like if he let go, you’d disappear again. And maybe you would.

“Y/N,” he breathed, voice cracking.

You’d never seen him like this before. Not even close. Chris didn’t beg. He didn’t cry. He didn’t plead. But now? His eyes were glassy, lips trembling like he didn’t even know how to hold himself together anymore.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, okay?” he said, voice raw. “I don’t know how to be good at this. I don’t know how to be someone who’s good for you. But I’ve never wanted anything like I want you. Ever.”

You swallowed, hard, but didn’t say anything. You couldn’t. Your throat was tight.

His fingers curled slightly, gripping your thighs like he needed to ground himself.

“I wake up and I check my phone hoping you changed your mind. I go to sleep hoping maybe tomorrow you’ll remember that I’m still here. Still trying.”

“Chris—”

“I fucked up, I know I fucked up. But I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…” he paused, exhaling sharp. “I get scared. I always have. But losing you is scarier than anything else.”

His voice was getting quieter. His eyes were red now, rimmed with tears he kept blinking back, and failing.

“I don’t want anyone else. I can’t even think about anyone else. No one makes me laugh like you do. No one talks to me the way you do. You were always the one, even when I was too fucking stupid to realize it.”

A tear finally slid down his cheek, and he looked away, embarrassed, like he couldn’t believe he was letting you see him like this.

But you didn’t move. You didn’t say anything.

So he kept going.

“I don’t care if it takes months. Years. I’ll earn you back. Just… don’t walk away from me right now. Don’t tell me I’ve already lost you. Please.”

You looked down at him—this boy who never begged, never got emotional, never let anyone see him like this—and now he was falling apart in front of you.

“I’m on my knees for you,” he whispered. “I don’t beg for anyone. But I’ll beg for you every damn day if I have to.”

He leaned his head forward, resting it lightly against your knees, voice barely audible now.

“Don’t go.”

And you just sat there, frozen, heart cracked in two.

Because you didn’t know what to say.

And he looked like the only thing he’d ever believed in was you.

You took a deep breath, eyes still on him—his head lowered against your knees, his chest rising and falling like he couldn’t catch a breath. You felt like you couldn’t either. But you had to say it.

“I’m sorry, Chris,” you whispered.

His head lifted slightly, eyes searching yours like he misheard you—like maybe there was hope tucked behind those words.

But then you said it.

“We need to just be friends.”

It hit him like a slap.

He blinked, slowly, lips parting like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Just the sound of your voice—soft and steady now, like you’d rehearsed it a thousand times in your head.

“And if we’re gonna be friends,” you continued, your voice trembling, “then there’s gonna have to be rules.”

Chris stayed quiet. You could see the pain in his eyes, how badly he wanted to protest—but he didn’t. Maybe he couldn’t.

You swallowed and began to list them.

“You can’t flirt with me anymore. No more calling me baby. Or pretty girl. Or anything like that.”

He clenched his jaw but nodded, barely.

“You can’t come over late at night. You can’t sleep in my bed.”

He looked down at the floor, his hands falling away from your thighs.

“You can’t kiss me when you’re drunk. You can’t get jealous when I talk to other people. You can’t text me in the middle of the night when you’re lonely.”

You didn’t even realize you were crying until your voice cracked.

“And you can’t look at me like you love me anymore.”

Chris shook his head slowly, like it was too much. Like every word was pulling something out of him.

“Y/N…” he breathed, voice shaking. “You’re asking me to kill every part of me that still wants you.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line, trying to hold back the sob in your throat.

“I’m asking you to respect me,” you whispered. “To respect the fact that I can’t keep hurting like this.”

He blinked quickly, his eyes glossy again. “But I do love you.”

You stood up slowly, backing away from him like you couldn’t bear to be near him while he said that. “Then you’ll let me go.”

Chris stayed on the floor, completely still, watching you like you’d just walked away with the last piece of him.

—

A/N- This is an emotional rollercoaster.

My beautiful babies- @blushsturns @starrii-sturns @izzylovesmatt @chrisslut04 @oopsiedaisydeer @csturnioloswifey @just-a-girl-1 @sturdyyolo @sturnslvtt @sturnbows @sturniolosrtewsexy @chriss-slutt @franticroads @thecrawlys @ribbonlovergirl @freshlyinlovewchris @whore4chris @matts-girlfriend @ariana3lovesu @sturnl0ve @cass-sturn @sturns-mermaid @sunrisemill @fadedstvrn @ikyoudreamofme @mattsdemi @kitkatbar1275 @skelet0nsinmyycloset @lezleeferguson-120 @bells-sturn @sturniolosymphony @kenziesturniolo54 @kikirasweatsweathoho @emely9274 @cherryystemm @realuvrrr @zenithsturniolo @kier-with-a-k @eeyoresturnz @elizasturn @ribread03 @sturnslux3 @costalgirlyr @pizzapocketpocketpizza @arianna1342 @mattsplaything @ed1tssturnn @ivysturnss

[heavenlyspence]

In the Stacks | Spencer Reid

summary: You and Spencer meet at the library to search for books together. Will a brief touch between you two change your friendship?

contents/tw: season 4 spencer reid x fem!bau reader; library, mentions of books, oc librarian named Mandy; you’re short sorry; mention of physics and psychology; brief touching; hands; fluff: brief mention of the statistics of death from falling

word count: 1.6k

a/n: this is part 2 of my new series! Here is part 1 if you’re looking for it: Meeting of the Nerds.

After your initial elevator meeting with Spencer Reid, the two of you spent the next two weeks messaging and calling each other almost every day. It started with Spencer calling you to ask a question about the case he had been working on. Truthfully, he already knew the answer. But it had been a few hours since you two first met, and he wanted to talk with you. He created a random question to ask you, which you happily answered as it gave you an excuse to talk with him some more.

The next day, you purposely looked for a reason to text him and what would be a better way than asking him about a book! You had been reading the book, 'The Delusions Of Crowds: Why People Go Mad in Groups' by William J. Bernstein and you texted him to get his opinion on it. He responded with a lengthy paragraph detailing his thoughts and feelings about the analytical perspective presented in the book. That led the two of you to begin texting every day about different nonfiction books.

Now it’s been two weeks, and you guys have decided to hang out. Initially, you were going to hang out a few days ago, but Spencer’s team received a case, and he had to fly to Arizona, so you rescheduled it for well…now.

It’s early morning on a Saturday, and you and Spencer both have the day off. You decided to meet up at the local library so you guys can pick out some books together. You walk into the silent library as you carefully observe the nearby displays created by the staff. They do this every month for holidays or for national awareness months, and you’ve grown accustomed to their kind-hearted displays. The library was completely empty except for the librarians who flash warm smiles at you as you walk past them.

“It’s nice to see you again!” An older brunette woman says while tri-folding brochures at the counter. 

You glance over to see her familiar face, “Mandy! It’s nice to see you too!” After you first moved here almost a year ago, you came to the library every day before going to the FBI for training. You were so shy that you barely spoke a word when you were at the library so Mandy,  who has been working at the library since 1992, talked to you more & more until you finally felt more comfortable. You two became so close that she even tried to set you up on a blind date with another one of her patrons a few months ago, but you turned the offer down due to your nerves.

“Sorry I haven’t been here much, Mandy. Work has been super busy.” You say as you walk over to the counter.

She stops folding the brochures as she looks up at you, “It’s alright dear you’re here now! Is there anything I can help you find?” 

“I’m actually looking for someone. Have you se-” You’re interrupted by a loud noise coming from the front of the building.

The sound of rustling leaves and the howl of wind flies through the building as the front door swings open. You glance over to see Spencer walking in while adjusting his brown jacket that got crinkled in the wind. He runs his hand through his hair to try and tame the wind-swept mess, not knowing that you're watching him. 

“Oh, there he is.” You awkwardly tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, feeling self-conscious that the wind messed your hair up as well.

“Is this an early morning date?” Mandy whispers to you as she goes back to tri-folding.

“No, no. He’s just my coworker. We’re…hanging out.” You whisper while Spencer walks closer to you.

“Hi Mandy!” Spencer smiles as he approaches the counter.

Mandy flashes a smile at him, “Hi sweetheart. I see you’ve met my lovely patron.” She gestures at you.

You look at both of them with a perplexed expression, “You two know each other?”

Spencer nods, “I’ve read almost every book in this library, and it’s Mandy who’s been keeping the shelves filled with new material for me to read.” He stands close to you, the smell of coffee and fresh-linen dancing off of him.

Mandy laughs, “He’s the reason we had to purchase so many quantum physics books. We get them and he reads them just like that-” She snaps her fingers.

Spencer looks over at you, “How do you two know each other?”

You point at Mandy, “She’s the reason why I maintained my sanity when I was doing my training for work.”

Mandy finishes tri-folding the brochures and she begins to hand one to each of you, “You two would’ve been married by now if you let me set you up on that blind date a few months ago.” You each grab the brochure stunned by her comment.

“What?” You two say in shock.

Mandy places the rest of the brochures on the stand next to Spencer, “Well, I thought you two would make a good couple. So I tried setting you up on a date but you both declined my offer. Now look at you two.” She looks them up and down with a smirk.

“We’re not a-” Spencer gets cut off.

“I know. But at least you two are friends.” Mandy looks over at another person walking into the library, “Now I have to get back to work. But let me know if you two need anything.” She walks over and greets the new patron, leaving Spencer and yourself confused.

“Well…” You awkwardly look at Spencer, “Wanna look for some books?” 

He clears his throat, “Yeah. Here, I made this.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, “It’s a list of books that I think you’d be interested in.”

You carefully take the piece of paper from his hand so as to not accidentally touch his hand again, “Thanks!” You pull out your phone from your pocket, “I made you a list of books too, but you’ve probably read all of them.” He chuckles lightly as you go to your notes app and find the list you made, “Here it is!” You hand him your phone, and he reads through your surprising list.

“I actually haven’t read three of these books yet. So I’ll get those if they have them here.” He hands you back your phone and you put it into your pocket as you two begin walking towards the stacks.

You two spend over an hour and ½ looking at books together. Some of them are on the lists, and others just look intriguing, so you take the time to read the blurbs on the back covers. Occasionally, you catch yourself staring at Spencer when his hands move across the book pages, when he’s able to quickly read the titles on the shelf, or when a piece of his hair falls across his face and he casually puts it back. But you never seem to catch him when he’s watching a smile form on your face as you read an interesting blurb or when he can’t help but smile as you scrunch your face when thinking about something. 

Finally, you two are left with one book to look for, and you can’t seem to find it. Spencer goes to ask Mandy where it’s located while you stay and continue to look in the nonfiction section. You read through the shelves meticulously in hopes of finding the book title you’re searching for. After a minute or two of Spencer being gone, you take a step back and notice the title of the book you’re looking for sitting on the highest shelf.

You go over to the nearby step stool and drag it over to where you need it. You carefully press the four books in your arm against your chest as you stand on top of the stool. Your free hand reaches for the book but it’s tightly wedged in place- probably because it’s been sitting there for several years now since most people aren’t regularly checking out a 600 page book about physics and psychology…

You stand on your tiptoes to get a better grip of the book, but as you go to pull it out, you start to lose your balance. Footsteps quicken behind you, and suddenly, two hands rest upon your waist, holding you steady.

“Did you find the book?” Spencer says as he peers around you to see what you’re holding.

You turn your head to meet his eyes, “Ye-yep and nearly killed myself in the process.” 

He smirks at your joke, “Statistically, there are only 300 deaths per year that are caused by falling off of ladders. But those are usually much taller than this stool, so I think it would be okay if you fell.” He removes one of his hands from your waist and holds it out for you, “Here, let me help you down.”

You take his hand and slowly step back onto the floor, “Thank you.” As you step down, his hand gradually falls from your waist, and you begin to miss the feeling of it.

He continues to hold your hand while looking in your eyes, “Well, now that we’ve gotten all of our books, I was wondering if you wanted to create a mini book club that’s just us.” 

You look at his hand holding onto yours and then back at his eyes, “A book club?” 

He lets go of your hand and begins to speak faster out of embarrassment, “Yeah, we don’t have to read the same books! We could read different books and then discuss with each other about what we’ve read.” He looks down at the ground worrying if he overstepped.

“I’d love that! It sounds like a lot of fun!” You hold up the 600-page book you just grabbed, “But you read a lot faster than I do; like this 600-page book is probably gonna take me a week to finish.” 

A huge smile forms on his face as he looks back at you, “That’s fine! We can meet up once a week and I’ll talk about all the books I’ve read.”

“While I just tell you about the singular one I’ve read.” You laugh slightly at the idea of him excitedly rambling on about multiple books while you explain why you love or hate one book.

The two of you walk to the checkout counter while planning to meet up next week at a local cafe to talk about your books. You two talk nonstop at the counter as Mandy checks your books out. Neither of you notice Mandy’s knowing smile as she watches your relationship change right in front of her eyes. You two walked in as friends, but you're leaving as something more…

[millalune]

BACK TO REALITY

MONDAY APRIL 7TH 7:42am

The elevator doors slide open with that same dull chime, and your stomach twists as you step into the office. It’s only been a week off, but walking back in feels like slipping into a storm you thought you’d left behind. The lights are too bright. The air’s too cold. And there he is.

Jinyoung.

You haven’t spoken to him in seven months. Not since you caught him lying, sneaking around, whispering sweet nothings to someone else while telling you he loved you. You left without a scene, without a word. Silence was the only dignity you had left.

You thought it was over.

Until last night.

His name popped up on your phone a message that came out of nowhere:

“So that’s your new man? You didn’t waste any time, huh.“

He didn’t know that was just your best friend. Didn’t recognize the guy who’s been like your brother since childhood. He saw you smile once and spiraled — typical. You didn’t respond. What was there to say?

You walk toward your desk like you don’t feel his eyes following you. Like your heart isn’t trying to pound its way out of your chest. You pass his desk. Keep your head high. You’re almost there when—

He grabs your wrist.

“Come here.”

You barely have time to react before he’s pulling you into a conference room and shutting the door behind you. Hard.

“Let go of me,” you say, already fuming.

He steps in closer, crowding your space. “That guy from the club. You really think he can compete with me?”

You roll your eyes, trying to snatch your wrist away. “Don’t start this.”

“He’s not better than me. He never could be. I don’t even care that I’ve got a girlfriend — you’re still mine.”

You blink. The audacity stings more than his grip.

“Excuse me?”

He just stares at you, jaw clenched like he’s daring you to deny it. Like he expects you to fall apart just because he showed up and said your name like a curse.

So you lie.

Because you’re uncomfortable. Because his energy feels possessive, not passionate. Because you want out.

“I have a boyfriend,” you snap. “So whatever fantasy you’ve got in your head? Let it go.”

His expression falters. Just for a second.

You yank your arm free. “Don’t touch me again.”

And with that, you walk out. You don’t look back. You don’t check to see if he’s watching. You don’t care. You’re done being his mess to clean up.

𓂃۶ৎ PREVIOUS | MAIN | NEXT

synopsis - after ending a seven-year relationship when your boyfriend cheats on you with your friend, what better way to show you’ve moved on than by ‘dating’ the one guy he was always worried about?

a/n - were finally getting into what you all came here of soon!!!

𓂃۶ৎ taglist (open!) - @vixensss @jayhoonvroom @i03jae @motherscrustytoenailclippings @liumoonlight @quilevyt @heartheejake @urmomssneakylink @222brainrot @lovenha7 @jung1sblog @lovuegi @skibidihan @ikeumina @honestlyatomicpanda @fluerchive @hoonkishoe @starniras @delirioastral @lostinneocity @ellsblue @wonzzziezzzz @letwiiparkjay @firstclassjaylee @yunjiiin @lilliansreality @yuyita-rosier @zaycie @nctrawberries @hhyvsstuff @rairaiblog @haechology @right-person-wrong-time @snowprincehoon @nishikio @swanwonyoung @starbyeol1512 @enhypenova @yunsiili @betda @cheruphic @rikidaze @belle643 @tkooooop @purennn @urmomdotcom5678 @stwrlightt @hyunjinslongasslegs @lilificationn @enhaloveeee

[cuteandhughesy]

Congratulations on 1k followers!! It’s so deserved!

Id like to request prompts 32 + 41 with Quinn Hughes. Maybe with insecure reader ~~<3

prompt no.32: “did I stutter?” + prompt no.41: “you’re it for me.”

dating a professional athlete wasn’t for the faint of heart—that much you’ve learned in the past 7 months of being in that very position.

other wags has warned you about the fans and reporters. how boundaries will always be crossed, and even through your man is the one in the spotlight, it feel like you too are under a microscope. jealous girls will pick you apart, commenting on your weight and appearance and what colour lipstick you wear until you’re doubting yourself.

nosy reports will comment on how you treat your man. are you cooking for him? making sure his laundry is done? cheering loud enough to look supportive but not loud enough to be heard. they’ll reprimand you if you speak out or speak up for what you believe in if it doesn’t align with your views.

they’ll call you a gold digger if you don’t work, but if you do have a career, you’re selfish for not devoting all your time to your man.

look right.

act right.

perfect yourself.

at first you didn’t think much about it. for the first few months of dating vancouver canucks captian quinn hughes, it was private. soft launches that had fans knowing, but not enough proof to label what the two of you were to another. but as you got more comfortable, so did the hockey world.

girls would leave awful comments on your pictures and send you cruel messages—you’re not skinny enough, or pretty enough for quinn. you dress like a slut or sometimes you dress like a prude. you look like a bitch. you’re only dating quinn for the paycheque—even worse, you’re only dating quinn as a stepping stone for his brothers.

you tried to ignore all the negativity—from awful fans and sports blogs that have nothing better to do than comment on you—and focus on the positive comments. but even that proved to be difficult.

it started to take a toll on you, and quinn noticed. at first he waited. he didn’t want to push you into talking about something that made you uncomfortable. quinn wanted you to come to him and/or let you work it out on your own. it’s not that he didn’t care, but he knew you were strong and determined, and he knew you didn’t care about strangers opinions.

until you did start to care.

it’s almost midnight as you stand at quinn’s bathroom vanity, slowly massaging moisturizer into your skin as quinn steps out of the shower behind you. smoothly he wraps a fluffy towel around his hips, water trickling down his chest as he makes his way over to you.

you smile at him through the mirror, but it doesn’t meant you eyes. quinn’s lips tug down, pressing his warm chest against your sleep shirt covered back as he brings you into his arms.

you sigh as he starts kissing your neck. there’s no hurriedness to them, or an underlying desire, but instead the kisses or soft—intimate—and reassuring.

you gnaw on your lip, head falling back against his shoulder. “feels nice,” you whisper into the steamy bathroom. quinn doesn’t answer you, his hand slipping up your thigh and under your t-shirt, fingers skimming higher and higher up your body—feeling you. your lower half becomes more and more exposed, and your eyes narrow in on your bare skin like second nature.

thighs with imperfections that you haven’t shaved in a week.

when was the last time that bitch got a wax? poor quinn is with a beast.

your lower belly, protecting your uterus but bulging out in a way that creates a bump.

is she pregnant? she looks pregnant

your hands, hanging limp at your sides.

he’ll never put a ring on a girl who looks like that.

your breathe catches, body tensing in quinn’s hold. he pauses, raising his head from your neck and catching your eyes in the mirror. expect you’re not looking at him, but yourself.

“hey,” he starts softly, spinning you around in his hold, giving you no choice but to look at him. “what’s wrong honey?”

your lip trembles, “nothing.”

his palms slide up to your face, holding your cheeks in his gentle hands. quinn tilts your head back, just enough so that you can’t hide away by looking at the floor. his thumbs stroke your cheeks smoothly, a frown on his face. he doesn’t believe you for a second.

“it’s not nothing,” quinn says, “is it something online?”

shock registers across your face. you never told quinn about what’s happening on social media and nasty comments, mostly because you were too embarrassed to admit that it was bothering you. your mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

quinn’s intense gaze doesn’t falter, and neither does the soothing movement along your face. you sniffle, “it’s just…” you trail off, “am I pretty enough?” you ask after a beat, voice timid and seeking as you blink up at quinn.

“are you pretty enough?” he repeats, brows pulling tightly together in confusion. “of course you’re pretty enough. you’re more than just enough?”

“but like-“

“did I stutter?”

you blink. despite his reassurance, you can’t help the wave of insecurity that’s rushes through you. when hundreds of people all comment on your appearance, negative and condescending, over and over again, you can’t help but start to believe it.

and quinn knows what it’s like being put on a pedestal only to meet others high expectations. then getting slashed down, degraded and belittled like some toy. it’s awful, but that’s just about his game. he can’t even imagine something commenting on your appearance, knowing you can’t change it.

“they say i’m not good enough for you,” you tell him after a beat, picking at your own hands absentmindedly like a nervous tick. even hearing yourself say those things makes you shiver.

quinn shakes his head, pressing a soft long kiss to your forehead. “don’t ever believe that for a second,” he says, lips brushing your skin, “you’re it for me, okay?” 

and somehow that’s enough.

—

(unedited)