#if i have learned anything through all this
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imorynn · 2 days ago
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˚ʚ ── mi 𝙣𝙚𝙣𝙖, pretty 𝙗𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙮 ( ᴀ.ʜᴀʀᴋɴᴇꜱꜱ • ʀ.ᴠɪᴅᴀʟ )
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˚ʚ pairings : agatha harkness ✗ fem!reader ✗ rio vidal
˚ʚ genre / mentions : nsfw (18+) throuple, established relationship, fingering ( rio giving to reader ), pet names, spanking, submissive!reader, agatha being rough, rio being more soft than agatha, pet names, rio speaking just slight spanish — affectionate!
˚ʚ word count : 1.2k+
˚ʚ author’s note : this is to be longer in a next fic — just had to get this out of the way :,>
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──"S-shit!" your squeal was justified — although do not tell Agatha that — this was the thirteeieth time she had landed a cruel, dragged out blow on your ass.
"What was that, dear?" She squeezed down on the distressed fat of your ass, taunting a smile when you whimpered at the pain. "Oh! Would you listen to that, hmm." You were not certain if she had been speaking to you or the bronze skinned woman whose lap you were currently bent over, and you groaned internally. "I didn’t take you for having such a naughty mouth especially when you’re in this position — should I start over?”
Your lips parted as you fervently shook your head, body flinching away from the featherlight caress of Rio’s thumb that made its discreet way to your clit, your slick clinging onto her skin. The searing humiliation at the pleasure the act brought upon, around, and through you made you so fucking wet while Agatha just condescendingly cooed in this deriding tone, her grinning mouth softly skimming your nape, “This hurts, bun?”
Your fingers dug into Rio’s arm, nails slicing into the skin yet she did not seem to mind. Her own digits were now carving into your walls so deeply, in such a fucking leisured pace compared to Agatha’s bolting actions. It caused pained jolts to crawl up your spine, dizzying you because of the contrasts, the differences between their touch, their way of handling you.
“Hey, don’t be so mean to her … I’m sure she’s learned her lesson by now, verdad, mi nena?” ( right, my girl?)
Your thighs constricted together from how desperate they both make you feel, almost pathetic enough to make Rio wanted to chastise you, to tell you to get a grip of yourself or else this little punishment would continue being dragged out, yet she lamented, deeply sighing when her digits slipped out of your tightness. Her head tilted down to press a soft kiss to your dampened temple, voice hushed for you to hear in this moment, "Sweetheart, you gotta keep it together. You know how Agatha gets… just a bit more.”
Yet the octave of your whimpering increased with each second passing, your clutch on Rio’s forearm providing you the little bit of strength to hold yourself up against Agatha’s strikes. However, you did not concede from the two witches. A resilient pretty little thing you were; they admired you for that. They admired more that you were theirs and theirs only.
Your fragile sniffles within the thickening air —accompanied by Rio partaking in dabbing away the tears kissing your waterline — made Agatha’s frown of distaste deepen, the bridge of her nose scrunching in vexation as her heated palm kneaded over your contused ass. There had been inflamed blemishes branded everywhere, all in the shape and form of her palm and her fingers, and her lips parted as she tenderly parted your thighs, grabbing at your cheeks and spreading them so perfectly until both of your glistening slits were winking at her.
"You don’t know her as well as you think then. She apparently hasn’t learned anything. She isn’t going to if you keep buttering her up and playing ‘good cop’," she deadpanned, her touch creeping through your puffy folds, scoffing when you whimpered beneath her. "This is making her wet. Look at this, such a horny little slut, aren’t you?"
Prudently, your chin dipped down before lightly rising again in a nod. "Can't help it, Aggy," you mumbled softly, beseeching doe-eyes lifting to meet with Rio’s dark aligned-brown ones when Agatha’s other hand enveloped your aching hipbone in a bruising grip. You groaned under the rush of pain, then exhaled, and she took this as her opportunity to slap your behind again.
"Oh, but I think you can, bunny." There was an edge to her tone as she loosely curled her fingers into her palm, knuckles brushing against your swollen clit so very lightly, her jaw becoming more prominent at the sound of a moan and an exhale — all sealed in one — leaving you. Her hand which had been on your hip ascended under the subtle shape of your jawline, ivory fingertips prodding into the flesh as heat drummed over it. The position gave her leverage in pulling off of Rio’s thighs and snapping you completely back against her, your front exposed and scrutinized by the Green Witch’s devouring gaze. Rio’s expression was a flawless balance of devilish yet floored from the sight before her, and that sent a tingle spiraling right up your curved spine.
"You were the one who begged me to have another in this —and out of aaall people, you chose that one right there,” Her blue irises shifted and glanced at Rio who, currently puncturing tender-open mouthed kisses to your hip, could not help the smirk forming at Agatha’s involuntarily flushed expression from her other lover’s gaze but tried to minimize it with her hissed out words, “and I sooo generously granted you this — sharing you. Now you've got two of us. And there really shouldn’t be a reason why you should be touching yourself without us. It's one of the rules."
A cry spewed past your lips as Agatha’s hand came down, sharply colliding with your ass, and she let you fall across Rio’s lap once more. Pain spasmed throughout your entire body, electricity crepitating throughout your every fiber as you quivered under her. Your senses rang and blurred, your vision becoming dark and speckled, and you endeavored to blink back the tears cluttering at your lashes as threats of unconsciousness blurred at your borders.
"That’s it … be a good girl and come back to us, pretty bunny."
Agatha’s precious face flooded your mind, and you smiled up at her dumbly, a breeze of air brushing against the raw plump skin of your ass. "Verdant," you faintly breathed out, eyelids fluttering shut at the feel of Rio’s fingers already smoothing over your ass, her lush lips and tongue assisting in soothing the swelling. "Verdant. ’m okay, Aggy, that one was just a bit hard."
Agatha’s brows hitched, and there was a rare gentle beat of hesitation which breezed through the air before her lips pursed, cheekbones accentuating from the pretty action until her lips dominantly, amiably molded against yours. You basked in the intimacy, your stomach tightening as her fingers pressed into the apple of your cheeks, your ass bucking into Rio’s touch.
"Very good girl indeed, preciosa ( precious )," Rio’s words were mumbled against the perspirated skin of your neck, a hiss arising from your throat as she rewarded you by rubbing her fingers over your ass once more. She sculpted the globes with such certainty, taking in the way they shook within her palms before humming — pleased, fulfilled. "I'm proud of you."
"I guess, in a way, she’s learnt her lesson." Agatha affirmed from above you while her fingers tangled into your disheveled strands, the tip of her nose lovingly nuzzling your cheek. She inhaled your inebriating fragrance that coalesced with Rio’s petrichor essence, letting it swirl within her lungs before pulling back, a daring expression sculpting her angular features. “Haven't you, bunny?”
Your lips could not help but stretch into a gorgeous, dazed grin that made the purple witch’s heart accelerate. A sweet kiss converged with the corner of her mouth and your round eyes maintained sincerity and you softly spoke. "I have. No more touching myself without you two."
"Good girl, hon’. You know I hate having to punish you."
Her tone, of course, indicated that she was lying — she was not even making an effort in trying to hide it, given the devilry of a spark in her eyes and the way she smirked down at you and gave you another peck. Though the Green Witch remained silent, her smirk lurking her lips as she leisurely alleviated the burning blaze of your skin, her motions tender and amorous, occasionally letting her touch stray from you to Agatha, just acting upon the urge to touch you and crawl under her skin.
And in truth, you would not have it any other way when it came to being sprawled across either or’s lap.
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lowkeyerror · 13 hours ago
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Ours Together pt 3
Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader
Word Count: 8k
Notes: Agatha All Along Spoilers, canon typical violence, angst, fluff, intimacy bordering on smut but no actual smut, happy ending, everyone survives
Summary: Things get rocky between the coven as they work to get through the rest of trials and off of the road. It begins to feel like Agatha, Rio, and their fallen angel versus the rest of the witches.
An: Took me awhile to write this one, but it is longer than the other parts. This is the final chapter of Ours Together, so I hope you guys enjoyed. Feel free to like, reply, reblog, and slide into my inbox with any questions about this fic. Thank you for reaading 🫶.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Masterlist
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You were trying to find a way to be ok with leaving Agatha behind. The argument that the road wasn’t real, wasn’t working anymore. Not when you could remember the feeling of your wings being severed.
“Looks like the next trial is up ahead.”
A cabin. It’s disarming enough, but you knew better. A glamorous home, and the gates of heaven were both omens on this trail.
“Let’s get this over with,” you mumble entering the wooden structure.
You were uninterested in what was to transpire until you came to the understanding that this was Agatha’s trial. That information made you focus more on quickly executing the task.
Learning that you had to Ouija was disappointing. Due to your previous affiliation you were not allowed to touch the boards. If an angel were too touch a Ouija board there was a chance that their soul would get lost with the others.
So you watched on edge as the others did the board. You couldn’t help, but laugh a little when Agatha pretended to be possessed. You even laughed a bit when board said that Death was here with you. However your laughter completely stopped when it kept spelling out punish Agatha.
When she let go of the board you knew it was going to be all bad. The witches in the coven turned on her pretty quickly.
“It’s clear what we have to do, punish Agatha.”
“Try again because you’re not touching her,” you kept your voice low and calm.
You could feel their eyes on you.
“Y/n it’s what the trial wants. You should know-”
You stop them there, “You’re right, I do know because I had to have my wings cut off. What I learned is what happens in these trials is painfully real. So I dare you to touch her.”
Rio stands by your side, arm loosely hanging over your shoulder, “I’m on her side.”
“That’s not fair. Agatha has literal Death and The Fallen Angel protecting her, what are we supposed to do?” Jen throws her hands up in exasperation.
It starts a bickering amongst everyone. They all send looks your way. It's not something you mind anymore. You had gotten used to hostile starts a long while ago.
“What if it's the only way?” Agatha says just so the two of you can hear.
“We will find another way,” Rio reassures the woman.
That's when the lights go dark. You stay close to Rio, forming an outward facing circle with the rest. Agatha had vanished from her spot.
“Agatha,” you call her name tentatively.
Its not until Teen flashes his light at the ceiling that you see a clearly possessed Agatha drop down. Everyone screams at her appearance.
“What the fuck?” Slips out of your mouth as you watch your lover crawl and swing her arms around.
“Sweetheart, you okay?” Rio calls out tentatively.
“Oh my god.”
Agatha has Jen in her hold before anyone can do anything about it. You all try to get her to loosen her grip, but nothing works until Lilia hits the lights. Once she does you and Rio become frantic as Agatha disappears again.
“Agatha! Where is she, alright? Where is she!” Rio’s frustration grows.
You take her hand in yours, silently. Your eyes wandering the room because you’re still trying to find Agatha as well.
“What’s that?” Teen says as a almost translucent cloud forms in front of the stairs.
Your frown deepens, “A ghost.”
“I hate ghosts,” Rio grumbles as the image of a woman who is familiar to the both of you materializes.
Lilia asks the ghosts who she is. Evanora, answers and you can’t hide your look of irritation.
When Agatha speaks up from her spot on the stairs you feel relief wash over you. She’s ok, you breathe a little easier. Simultaneously, your heart breaks as you watch her pretend to be nonchalant about her mother possessing her.
“You must finish the road without Agatha, leave her with me.”
“No, no way!” Rio’s eyes burn into the ghost.
“Weren’t you guys fighting at some point before all this?”
You glare stays on Evanora, “Yeah, well, her mother can’t have her.”
The ghost floats towards Rio, who takes a step back. You block Evanora’s path, your eyes taking on that dangerous black color.
“Mom? Why do you hate me still?” Agatha comes down the stairs to question her mother with a vulnerability that you didn’t think anyone else would ever see.
“You were born evil. I ought to have killed you the moment you left my body.”
When you see a tear slide down Agatha’s face, you lose it. While the rest of the coven is taken aback by Evanora’s harsh words, you weigh your options.
“We have to go,” Jen says, turning to leave Agatha behind.
Agatha pleas are genuine as they fall from her lips, “Please take me with you. Don’t go. Don’t leave me with her I can be good. Please!”
“NO ONE IS LEAVING!” Your voice shakes the walls as you speak.
Jen tries to take a step forward, but she can’t in fact no one in the room can move freely except for you, Rio, and Agatha.
Evanora sees your display of power and tries to hide herself in Agatha’s body.
“Oh no you don’t, you raggedy bitch.”
You’re quick to lay your wrists against each other and open your palms outward. The magic that emits is black just like your wings. The power hits the ghost. She lets out a cry of agony, looking wildly around as her soul is being melted away by your magic.
“Holy shit,” Teen says as they all watch it unfold.
“You’re a fool. An angel ripped from heaven because of my daughter’s sinister impact, yet you protect her. She doesn't love you, she's incapable. She’s evil reincarnated, she will never-” Evanora’s ramble is quick and panicked as she begins to fade from existence.
You let up on your attack just to get closer to her. You squat down to her level, “Being in love with Agatha is one of the best things that could've ever happened to me. I will never regret it. She has always been good to me, even when I haven’t deserved it. For what you’ve done to her, I will erase you from every plane of existence because you, Evanora Harkness deserve a fate worse than eternal damnation.”
Your wings come out without your permission, making the moment look like something from a movie. With a single hand you begin unleashing your power on the ghost again. Your eyes, black and unblinking, your wings spread wide, your body firm in it’s place as you watch the ghost squirm underneath you.
Her words are incoherent as the screams take over. Her eyes begging for any other fate than this. You black magic drowning her out, until nothing is left. The screams are gone, her soul is gone. Not resting, not in a better place, or a worse place, just gone.
The trial had ended and the exit makes itself present yet, everyone is still frozen in place. Not by your voice, but by what they had just witnessed. Slowly you stand from your spot. Though you want to comfort Agatha, you turn your attention to the coven.
“If you ever think about leaving Agatha behind, I will kill you. I don’t care how old you are, I don’t care about what you want from the road, I do not give a single fuck about your feelings. I honestly hoped you’d shoot your magic at Agatha and just fucking die, but no we have to be on this stupid fucking road,” your anger rises with each word you speak.
“Y/n,” Agatha is gentle as she calls your name.
You shake your head, “Let’s just go.”
You march out of the exit with Agatha and Rio following behind you, and the rest following behind them.
“Sweetheart, I did say we'd go after one more trial,” Rio is careful as she speaks with you, back on the road.
“I’m not leaving her with them. If you have to go then go,” you can feel your jaw clench.
“Hey, I’m not the one who was going to abandon our girl, don't snap at me,” Rio says.
You take a deep breath, “Sorry, that just really pissed me off.”
“I know, I don’t think I remember the last time you destroyed a soul like that,” you can see the worry in her eyes as she looks at you.
“She deserved it. That woman was a piece of shit. Nothing she said was true,” you look at Agatha, who had been uncharacteristically quiet.
“Agatha,” Rio calls her name but she doesn’t answer. “Agatha,” she tries again more firm this time still nothing.
Its not until Death stands directly in front of the woman, her hands on the others shoulder, that Agatha reacts to her.
“I think we should camp for the night,” Rio says softly, and Agatha nods.
You turn to face the coven. They stop as soon as you turn, “Set up camp.”
“We always set it up, while you the go rendezvous for however long you want,” Teen talks back to you.
“Kid, don’t start with me,” your tone has a warning edge to it.
“No, I think I will. You’re not even a witch, why should we listen to you about the witches’ road?”
You roll your eyes, “You don’t know half as much as I do about the witches’ road.”
He stands his ground, “I’ve studied the ballad, I have notes. I am a witch.”
“ I’ve studied the ballad. I have notes. Blah blah blah,” you mock him.
Your words stir something inside the boy. Something that has the magic simmering at the edge of his fingers.
“I bet it was a harsh reality to deal with, once you realized you’d never go back to heaven. Considering that's probably where Nicholas went.”
It happens too quickly for anyone to stop you. You shove the teenager against a tree with an unimaginable amount of force. The tree cracks under the impact. You have two fistfuls of his shirt, tightly wound in your grip.
Your breathing is erratic and your eyes are once again black. The witches around you are screaming and pleading, but you aren’t focused on them.
“You don't get to speak about him like you know him. No one here knows him. You don't know what happened, so stop hypothesizing about my son’s death. It will get you killed, boy.”
“Y/n, let him go,” Agatha’s voice breaks through all the others.
You don’t get the chance to release the boy, as you feel yourself being repelled away from him. The magic is strong enough to push you off, but you don't fall down.
His hands are glowing with blue sparks and you see a crown forming around his head.
“Look who’s grown,” you don't back down from him.
“More than you can say for you son.”
You growl, “DOWN.”
The road seems to shift with your voice. The teen hits his knees. His magic vanishes from his hands. You don’t let him get the chance to speak before you blast him with your power.
He screams, but you don’t care. You stalk closer to him. You can feel hands on you trying to pull you back from him. Yet your vision is tunneled in on him. You strike him with your magic once more and he doubles over.
“Y/n look at me baby.”
Rio stands in your way, blocking you from the teen. You ignore her words but reach for her waist. You grab her dagger and hold it against the boy’s neck.
“You know what losing my son taught me, kid? Sometimes, boys just die,” a single tear rolls down your cheek as you smile sadistically at him.
“Can’t you do something to stop her?” Jen says.
“She’ll kill him,” Alice follows.
“Working on it,” Rio says, gears turning in her head, hoping to find a solution.
“It’s not his time,” Lilia murmurs.
You add pressure to the blade, watching him try his best not to move.
“Please, please I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I can be-"
“Good?” You cut him off.
His words, stuck in his throat, as he realized the similarities between himself and Agatha.
“It won’t bring him back,” you hear Agatha’s voice in your ear.
Her hand is firm on your forearm, keeping you from digging into the teen’s neck.
“Did you hear what he said about Nicky? This little shit deserves it.”
“Love, please,” Agatha tries to reason with you. “He wouldn’t want you to do this.”
You let out an animalistic grunt before pulling the dagger away from the teen’s neck and shoving it into the ground. You stand abruptly and walk away from the group, trying to cool off.
“Word to the wise Billy, do not go pissing off people more powerful than you,” Agatha’s voice is sarcastic, but her gaze travels the boys face trying to find injury.
“You knew? Did you-”
“Yes I knew, you're as predictable as your mother and no I didn't put the sigil on you.”
Lilia speaks up, “I did, for your protection.”
“And the plot thickens,” Rio teases.
“Your familiar almost killed him,” Alice points out.
Rio’s dagger is back in her hand. She twirls it around a bit, “Are we surprised? Billy here, does not know when he should shut the fuck up. Talking about a dead boy, he should be ashamed of himself. Nicky isn't some tool you can use to get a response.”
Billy looks to Agatha for back up, but instead finds her cold stare.
“I know Y/n would've regretted killing you, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. That was more for her than you. I don't ever want to hear his name come out of your mouth again. Understand?”
He nods, his gaze not meeting Agatha’s eyes, “I understand.”
“Great, well go ahead and set up camp, while we go deal with Y/n. Unless anyone has an issue with our rendezvous,” Agatha looks around for objections, she gets none.
Rio and Agatha take off in the direction you were headed. They walk side by side, looking for any sign of you.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like that before” Agatha looks to Rio.
The Green Witch mirror her look of worry, “Me either.”
They find you sitting by the edge of a creek. Your knees your chest as you stare past the water. The anger no longer seeping off of you like before. They sit on either side of you, slightly disappointed when you curl further into yourself.
“Sorry,” is the only word to leave your lips.
Agatha shakes her head, “It’s my fault.”
You and Rio try to protest, but Agatha simply raises a hand. “I let them believe whatever lies have been spun about my relationship with Nicholas. I believed them to be all less hurtful than the truth. It was ok when it was just me they antagonized, but if I knew you would've been their target, I would've come clean.”
“It’s none of their business. The truth would do no good for them. They have no empathy,” you mumble.
“How can you be so sure?” Rio is cautious when she reaches out towards you.
You take her hand and hold it up to your cheek, seeking comfort. Agatha sees this and moves so her shoulder is against yours, her arm tucks it self securely around your waist. Rio’s head falls onto your shoulder. You feel yourself un-tense at the contact.
“They heard my story, they saw our scars, they heard what Evanora said about Agatha, and yet, they still want to pick trivial fights,” your anger was replaced by exhaustion.
“He’s young,” Agatha tries to defend.
“It’s not just Billy. They wanted to leave you behind Aggie. What if Rio and I weren’t there, then what? They would’ve let her have you.”
You blink as the tears being to well in your eyes.
“I can't blame them, sweetheart. I would've done the same if it were any of their trials,” Agatha confesses.
Another sigh escapes you, “I’m assuming Billy made the road as well, while we’re on the topic of frustrating things?”
Agatha nods a few times, “I’m pretty sure. His powers they’re like his mothers, very tied up in his emotions.”
“I was going to kill him,” exasperation on your tongue.
Rio kisses your collarbone, “You didn’t, we wouldn't have let you.”
“He’s right, I’ve thought about it a lot you know? Nicky is somewhere up there like I was. I could’ve been there for him,” you look up to the sky as you speak.
“He’s in safest place he could be,” Agatha bows her head slightly.
“Who knew this made up road would be so stressful?” Rio concedes defeated by the things that have happened.
“At least it brought us back together. I don't think I could’ve spent another century, burning from the inside,” You attempt to joke.
“I think I know something that could relieve some of the stress,” Agatha says suggestively.
She stands, two pairs of eyes watching her intently as she begins to peel off her clothes.
“W- what are you doing?” You stutter, but don't look away from her.
She sits her clothes on a nearby rock, and struts into the creek.
“I’m taking a dip, you two are welcome to join me.”
Your jaw opens slightly at her proposal, “What if they see us?”
Rio stands as well, following Agatha’s suit, “I doubt that they would dare say anything after such a powerful display from our sweet angel.”
“Come on baby, loosen up a bit,” Agatha speaks from her spot in the water.
Rio slides up next to the witch, whispering something in her ear, causing them both to giggle.
“You know I’m supposed to be sulking,” you say getting to your feet, pulling off your clothes.
“Sulking, soaking, same difference,” Rio argues.
The water is pleasantly warm as you sink into it. The three of you bare, in the faux night of the road. It reminds you of the early parts of your relationship. Both women always up for dip in whatever body of water they came across. Nights spent in bodies of water, bathed by the soft light of the moon. Dark purple marks from the eager lips of your lovers.
The memories brought a slight color to your cheeks.
“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?”
Agatha and Rio circle you, in somewhat of a predatory fashion.
“I bet she’s thinking about all the things we used to do in the water. Am I right doll?”
“Perhaps,” you say coyly. “But if you think after centuries, I’m going to give myself to you on the witches’ road, I’m sorry to disappoint.”
“Fair, but a couple of kisses wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Rio wraps her arms around you from behind.
She trails a few kisses up the side of your neck.
“I suppose not,” you crane your neck to give her access.
“I think love bites are fair game,” Agatha���s hands find your waist. Her mouth latching on to the opposite side of your neck. She sucks with delicate force, playfully biting, before soothing the space with her tongue.
“Mhm,” you hum, the pleasure getting to you.
Your hands rest on Agatha’s stomach slowly climbing up to her breasts. You can’t help but play with them in your hands. You lick your lips recalling, how they felt in your mouth. Her moans when you would suck and tease her nipples.
“I thought we weren’t doing this here,” Agatha said breathlessly, as you play with one of her nipples between your fingers.
“We’re not,” you say, with a warmth spreading across your body.
“Then-”
You cut her off with a sensual kiss. She moans in surprise. She slips her tongue into your mouth and you suck on it teasingly. The woman laughs at your antics, which breaks the kiss.
It isn’t a moment after that you feel a hand wrap around your neck. You let Rio pull you into a hungry kiss, turning you body fully towards her. She’s trying to be dominant, but when your teeth tug on her lower lip, she lets out a whimper.
She ends up kissing down your body. Her lips stop right above your scar. She makes eye contact with you as her tongue meticulously traces over it.
It doesn’t go away, you all knew it wouldn't because it had already healed on it’s own. Yet she looks up at you with a pout that makes your knees weak.
“It was worth a shot,” she speaks innocently.
You want nothing more than to grab a fistful of her hair and yank her up to kiss your lips.
“That was hot,” Agatha says, watching with dark eyes.
“We have to stop,” the disappointment in your tone makes the other women chuckle.
“Awe, does baby want to cross her own boundaries?”
You separate from them and make your way back to land. An irritated groan leaving your lips, “We’re not fucking on the road.”
“Don’t be too mad about it hon, this was supposed to be relaxing,” Agatha teases following you.
Rio is the last out of the water, “I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait.”
Going back to the makeshift camp, puts a sour flavor in your mouth, but it’s better than the burning rage you had felt when you left. Everyone is asleep when you return except for Billy.
“I wanted to apologize, for what I said. It wasn’t fair to blow up at you like that,” his remorse was real, you could tell.
“It’s fine, kid. I should be apologizing to you, hundreds of years old and I still can’t keep my temper in check. Let’s just squash it,” you start to make yourself comfortable.
“Did you mean what you said, about letting Agatha kill us?”
You suck in a breath unwilling to lie, “Yeah, I did. It might be hard for you to understand, but I’ve spent centuries away from Agatha and Rio. Having them back is everything to me, and the road strives to take them from me. I would do anything to get us off of the road and nothing will change that.”
“I- I understand. My brother, I would do anything to see him again. Whatever it takes.”
Agatha smiles, “Spoken like a true witch.”
“Word to the wise kid, power plays are never as personal as they seem. In this life, things are taken from you if you hesitate for even a moment. Don’t be afraid of your power and never hesitate.”
“Pretty sound advice for someone who isn’t a witch isn’t it?” Rio teases Billy.
He laughs awkwardly and nods.
“Get some rest, we have a road to conquer,” Agatha’s tone was parental.
Billy does as instructed, feeling better after the talk.
Your stare lingers on him a bit longer. A hand rests on your shoulder, “He’s fine.”
You nod to yourself, “Yeah.”
It’s easier falling asleep than it should've been. Your body is completely exhausted from using your powers so frequently. Time is strange on the road, you couldn't really tell how much time had passed due to the darkness.
“We gotta go now!”
You are startled awake by a panicked voice. You’re quick to get to your feet.
“Where’s the fire?”
You’re damn near being pulled along the road, as you hear steps running all around you.
“The seven are here.”
That sentence seems to shake the sleep from your body. Your eyes open wide as you begin to pick up your pace.
“Then why are we moving so slowly?”
“I’m running as fast as I can,” Lilia speaks, out of breath.
“We could use analog magic to fly?” Billy suggests it and the witches groan as a collective.
“I don’t hear anyone else coming up with ideas,” you say in his defense.
“Blast them with your angel powers,” Jen exclaims.
“Not an angel and I'm not doing a 7 on 1 attack,” you say.
One of the seven ends up catching up to you and like Jen suggested you blast them with your power. She gives you an ‘I told you so' look and you mock her.
“Brooms now,” Agatha says breaking off a branch from a tree.
Once everyone has a working broom you expand your wings and shoot up into the air.
“I thought we were any to have the coolest moment ever, yet here she goes upstaging us,” Rio smirks as she takes off, Agatha isn’t far behind her.
You don't remember the last time you flew prior to your time on the road. This is different than your trial. The cool air surrounds you as your wings flap with a familiarity. You feel free for the first time in a long time. A genuine smile takes a place on your face as you fly.
Agatha and Rio can't take their eyes off of you. It has been too long since they've seen you move freely in the sky. To them, it looks like you are home. Your smile makes them do the same, sharing a look of love between the pair. The shared adoration for you, fills their hearts. A soft fondness in their eyes as they fly side by side. Their love for each other unspoken, but heavy.
The road decides to break up the moment, forcing everyone back on to the path. You end up landing gracefully while most of the others take a rough landing.
It's no surprise that you land in front of another trial. Just like with your trial, everyone rushes in to avoid any of the wandering seven. Once inside it feels like a distasteful costume party. The witches dressed as their famous caricatures, while you have tiny fake black wings on your back with fake horns to accompany it. The only person who looks more ridiculous in your opinion is Rio.
“Why the fuck am I Skeletor?”
You giggle, but place your hands on her fake blue abs, “I think it’s all in good fun.”
Your laughter stops in its tracks when you get a glimpse of the ceiling. Knives dangle overhead threaten to fall. You see the tarot spread and immediately think of Lilia.
“Well looks like you’re up Lilia,” Alice places a hand on the older woman’s shoulder.
“Who am I reading for?”
The others chime with thoughts and theories, but for you the answer is quite clear.
“Your trial, your reading,” you say cutting through all of the chatter.
“Smart girl,” Lilia says beginning her own reading.
When the death card comes up, you can see attention shift to Rio.
She throws her hands up, “All roads lead to me, we already know that.”
The exit opens, but before anyone can step through it the seven are rapidly approaching.
“I’m tired of running,” Lilia stands her ground.
You shake your head, “You’ve got to get out of here, its not your time yet.”
“But-”
“But nothing, you’re a damn good witch, but right now you have to go,” you send her towards the door.
“What’re you doing?” Agatha asks with panic in her voice.
You don’t respond to her, “Billy, if you want to show off that power, now is the time."
Your powers manifested in your hands as you begin to shoot it at members of the seven.
“I’ll try,” magic sparks like electricity at the tips of his fingers.
“Y/n, we have to-”
You shook your head, “Get them out of here Rio. The kid and I got it, just have Alice on standby.”
Rio doesn’t reply, instead she shoves you towards the exit. She uses one hand to push you out of Lilia’s trial and with other she throws out the teen.
She closes the door behind the teen. You begin to bang on the door. You try hitting it with your power but it doesn’t budge. Your fist hits the door a few times, before Agatha pulls you back from the door.
“Why would she do that? She can’t- Agatha, we have to help her. We have too,” you were on the brink of being a mess.
Agatha grabs your face in her hands, trying to get you to focus on her. She gives you a tiny smile, “Sweetheart, they are locked in with her not the other way around. She’s la muerte.”
On cue, you hear the sound of screams coming from the room you were just in. You listen hard and pick up the unforgettable sound of a sword piercing flesh.
“Should we…” Billy says, ready for a fight.
“Easy there tiger, sounds like she has it under control,” Alice keeps the boy back with an exaggerated grab.
Rio doesn’t walk, but skips out of the space where Lilia’s trial was held. Her dagger in hand, glistening with blood. The gleeful nature of her return nearly makes you forget that you were in danger
“ The seven are now the zero,” she says spinning the knife in her hands.
“You could’ve done that the whole time?” Jen questions Rio.
Rio shrugs, “I don’t like getting my hands dirty, too much paperwork if I’m the one that does the killing.”
Instead of stopping to rest like the other trials, you decide to continue on. There’s only one member of the coven to test, before you could finally leave this hell hole.
You can basically see the nerves bouncing off of the kid. If this is the end, then whatever is next is for him.
“Well, looks like your last up kid,” you place your hand on his shoulder.
“I’m ready for whatever it is,” he steels his jaw.
“Just remember, take what you want. Don’t hesitate,” you lose pace with him to fall back with Rio and Agatha.
“Not too long ago you were trying to kill him, and now you’re giving him advice. Look how far you’ve come,” Rio teases you.
You roll your eyes, “I’m just trying to get out of here.”
“No soft spot for him?” Agatha pushes farther.
A smile tugs at the ends of your lips but you hide it well, “Nope. ”
“Guys I think we have a problem,” Alice’s voice calls for your attention.
A row of shoes in front of everyone seems to make silence fall across the group.
“Our shoes,” you hear the anger simmering beneath Agatha’s tone.
“We’re back where we started,” Alice says in disbelief.
“The witches’ road is a circle,” Billy adds on.
“And this is the finish line?” Jen is just as shocked as Alice.
You see Agatha try to use her powers and as nothing happens her face begins to contort into a scowl, “That’s it?”
She glares at Billy before yelling again, “That’s it!”
“Well, maybe we passed the trial?” Lilia tries to reason with the group.
“Then how exactly do we get off?” Agatha’s anger finally tips over.
“Well maybe we-”
“IF YOU DON’T KNOW KEEP QUIET!” She tries to stalk towards the boy, but you’re quick to pull her back into you.
You look to Rio, who carefully watches the interaction in front of her. It’s strange, because you three are the only ones who know that the road has been manifested by Billy. Therefore it is technically his domain, meaning he designed it like this.
“We need to keep going,” Agatha says with her voice low.
The rest of the group quickly breaks into chaos shouting their refusal.
“FINE! STAY HERE!” Agatha growls at the group.
Billy keeps staring at the shoes.
Rio speaks up, “Go ahead, put them on.”
“What do the shoes have to do with anything? “ Alice questions.
“Well you took them off for respect for the road right? Has the road been respectful too you?” Rio points out.
“Screw the road,” Billy says before slipping his shoes on.
No one gets a chance to say anything else. Instantaneously you find yourself confined in a dark space. You panic, feeling all around you until you find a zipper. Once you're free from the bag, you notice that you're in an all white room.
Billy, Agatha, and Jen all appear in the same situation you are in. You leave the body bag and look around.
“Where are we?” Billy asks.
“My basement give or take,” Agatha answers him.
“Where are the others?” Jen asks.
“Not too far,” you answer her.
She squints, “How can you be sure?”
“Cause my insides aren’t boiling from being away from Rio.”
“But Agatha’s right here?”
You sigh, “It’s an and/or type of thing. Meaning if one of them is too far it burns, significantly less than if they were both far, but still burns nonetheless.”
“Glad to know they’re close, but that doesn’t make us any less trapped,” Billy points out that the door is sealed.
“These are grow lights, are we supposed to grow something here?”
“There’s no water or soil,” you point out.
Agatha huffs in irritation, “Sure seems like another stupid fucking trial.”
She digs around in the body bag and gasps lightly, “We do have our personal effects.”
She pulls out her locket, causing the others to dig in their bags. You didn’t come on the road with anything so you weren’t surprised to find your bag empty.
You see Agatha struggling to put on the necklace and walk over to her. You take it from her hands and gently sweep her hair out of the way. Knowing what’s inside the locket, keeps your hands steady as you hook the chain.
You see her smile, relief plastering over her features, “That’s better.”
You go to step away, but she grabs your wrist, keeping you close by.
Billy isn’t so lucky with his notebook, “It’s worthless.”
The body bags disappear once he tosses the book in there.
“Well, I guess the road agrees,” you say sarcastically.
It’s then that the grow lights flicker.
“And now we have our countdown,” Agatha points out.
Jen leans against the wall watching the countdown. Agatha can’t help, but antagonize the woman as their time ticks away.
“I’ll be damned if I let us all die here, after making it this far,” Jen peels herself off the wall to stand in the center of the room.
“You don’t have any magic,” you tell her without any animosity.
“Well she saved me, maybe she doesn’t need it,” Billy points out.
It’s at this point where Jen mentions Boston. You can’t help it as your mouth falls open and you look at Agatha. Her eyes also opening wide, while staring at Jen.
“You need to do the unbinding ritual,” you tell them.
“Doesn’t she need the witch that bound her to do that?” Billy says not connecting the dots.
“Agatha? Are you the one who bound me?” Jen says, rightful frustration in her tone.
She shrugs, “I don’t know.”
You narrow your eyes at her, crossing your arms over your chest, “Now is not the time.”
“You nonstop sociopath!”
“You’re the one who bound her?” Billy can’t believe it.
“How did you even know I was in Boston?” Agatha questions you.
“Old habits die hard, you always went to sell your services in Boston when times got rough, but enough deflecting, do the ritual.”
“You kept me like this for 100 years?” Jen yells.
Agatha tries to defend herself, “ I didn’t know it was you. It was the 1920’s I did the odd spell for bank notes. The patriarchy really shelled out to shush a lady. It was bind or burn!”
“100 years!”
As much as you wanted to push to get the ritual over with, you knew Jen was justified in her anger. That was time that she’d lost forever. You knew better than anyone what it felt like to walk around for years on end as a shell of your former self.
“This is so awkward.”
Jen pulls Agatha into her and starts the ritual. Once it’s over and her magic is running through her she sobs. The reunion of her and her powers means her journey is over. She vanishes from the road.
“Where did she go?”
“The road gave her what she was missing. And now she’s gone,” Agatha deadpans.
You can sense the shift in her attitude immediately. It feels as though she and the teen are facing off against each other.
“This can end right now. I want power, you have power, juice me up.”
“So you get what you're missing and I’m left here to rot?”
You scoff at him, “She could’ve killed you at any point by now. When you were bleeding out of your side or when my knife was at your neck kid, use your head.”
“No one was talking to you, do you even want anything from the road ? Shouldn’t you have disappeared by now too?” Billy tries to pick a fight with you.
“You are the only thing standing in the way of what I want,” you tell him seriously.
“So what it’s 2 against 1 now? I’m not scared of either of you,” he gets in Agatha face, but keeps his glare on you.
The gesture pisses you off and you march over to them. Agatha puts her hand out, motioning for you to stay back. You reluctantly follow her gesture
“What a good little familiar,” Billy directs at you.
Before you can do anything Agatha interrupts, “Sit.”
“Why?”
“We’re going to find your brother."
His whole energy changes, “What?”
She sits down, “That’s what you want right? Tommy isn’t waiting out there. Not in a body anyway. Why do you think Rio came here to begin with? She knows you could do it for him.”
“Do what?”
The teen was so dense that you couldn’t help your outburst, “Give him another life. Another spin around the dance floor.”
His eyes snap to yours, “You think I can bring Tommy back?”
“Time to grow up, kid,” you say to him.
Agatha pats the floor and he cautiously sits down across from her.
You watch her work in only the way she can. Her instructions clear and concise. Just as prodding as they need to be to stir his memories, and get him talking. In another life she could’ve had a coven of disciples.
She keeps him focused on his breathing. Though she has no magic in this moment, you could feel it in her aura. The way she carries herself, there will always be a witch underneath it all.
When she grabs Billy, the lights flicker. Things become intense quickly. He hyperventilates, but Agatha holds him as he begins to rock.
He begins ramble about a dying boy his questions tug at your heart strings, but you remind him, “Don’t hesitate, Billy. Don’t be afraid of your power.”
“Am I killing this boy so my brother can live?”
He lets out a strangled scream, and then he’s gone.
The lights in the room are almost completely gone. Agatha sits still her place.
“No, Billy. Sometimes… boys die.”
It breaks you to hear her like that. You sit behind her and she leans back into your arms. The lights fade faster.
“I’m sorry, we should’ve left when had the chance,” she says unable to look at you.
You just hold her tighter, “Seeing you again has meant everything to me.”
She opens the locket and you both look at the strands of Nicky’s hair. She takes it out of it’s place, finding a small dandelion seed. Agatha sniffles and you bury your head in her shoulder. Your wings expand, wrapping around the both of you.
She looks between your wings and the seed, “Out of death, life.”
She lifts your face out of her shoulder, and swipes the small seed across your tear stained cheeks. She quickly buries it in a crack of the grounds foundation.
You watch as a dandelion quickly sprouts and the room begins to shake. You are quick to hop to your feet as the lights turn back on and the walls begins to shake. Dirt begins to fill the room, much like with your trial.
“What’s happening?”
“The trial is over, we can’t stay here, come on” you begin look towards the previously locked exit.
Agatha pushes the door, but it doesn’t budge. You join the effort to help her, but it’s like something is still blocking it.
“Stand back,” you push her behind you, ready to shoot your powers at the door.
Just as you’re about to blast it, the door is opens. You and Agatha rush through, covered in dirt
On the other side is the coven, who watch the two of stumble into Agatha’s backyard. Your back hits the grass and you close your eyes. You can’t remember the last time you were this relieved to be on the earth’s soil.
The peace doesn’t last long as Agatha tries to use her powers and it doesn't work.
“You have to be fucking kidding me? I WANT MY PRIZE,” Agatha exclaims.
You look at Billy from your spot on the floor, “What gives kid, everyone gets a prize, but her?”
“Why are you asking me?”
Rio ruffles the boy hair with a laugh, “Isn’t it obvious? Billy, conjured up the witches’ road.”
The other witches turn to him, with their jaws dropped. He begins to sputter and point wildly at you three, “Are we seriously going to believe them? Death, the Fallen Angel, and Agatha. What do they even know?”
“We know that the road was never real,” you say sitting up in your spot.
“But Agatha said she walked the road?” Alice points out.
“Is it surprising that she lied?” Jen chimes in.
“She didn’t lie,” Rio defends.
Your jaw clenches, you close your eyes and take a breath. You speak calmly, “Agatha, please… tell them truth about the road.”
She plays with the locket around her neck, “The ballad… I made it, with our son. That’s why I know it’s originally coven 2, it’s about me and him. It wasn’t even about witches, it was about the winding roads we used to have to travel.”
“What really happened to him?” Lilia is the one to ask.
Neither Agatha or Rio speak up. You bring your knees to your chest and face away from the coven, “Nicky, was born sick… he wasn't- he couldn’t. He was made from scratch. With tears of a fallen angel and a heartbeat from death.”
“Rotten ingredients,” Rio doesn’t hide the crack in her voice.
You nod, “Agatha was the only one who could provide him with flesh. It didn’t matter, how much with loved him. Our ingredients just never mixed well. Nicky wasn’t the first, but Agatha begged and pleaded.”
“And threatened,” Rio says quietly.
“Rio had already broken the rules for me. To do it again so soon, was a big risk for her.”
Alice was the one to ask, “What did you do?”
Rio bites her lip, “I could only give him time.”
You bury your head in your knees, “Being around him could’ve gotten Rio in trouble, so we all decided it would be best for us to keep our distance from Nicky.”
“How much time did he get?” Billy asks.
“He was only 6,” Agatha clutches the necklace harshly.
You bury yourself further into your knees as if it would protect you from her words. Rio looks at the ground, unable to relive this yet again.
The coven looks between the three of you, piecing the rest of it together. The tragedy of it all displayed across each one of your bodies.
“The one day I didn’t kill any witches, he died. I went on a rampage after that, I used the ballad to lure witches into my trap. Then I’d get them to attack me and drain them of their powers,” Agatha explains wiping her own tears.
“So that’s what you were going to do to us?” Billy asks, but his tone isn’t accusing.
“Pretty much,” she says with a bored tone.
Jen interrupts, “So you knew it was him the whole time, even with the sigil?”
“Well as soon as the road appeared, I had a hunch.”
They all begin to go back and forth about how it was all for nothing and unfair. The spew words of negativity at Agatha for hiding the truth from all of them. It doesn’t sit right with you or Rio.
“Are guys even listening to yourselves? Alice you aren’t cursed anymore, Lilia you’re done running from your powers, Jen you’re unbound, and Billy you reincarnated Tommy, all thanks to Agatha. So, what are you bitching about? She helped you all achieve what you wanted, whether you want to admit it or not,” Rio goes off on the group.
“She deserves this and as her coven you know that,” you say, getting to your feet.
“Fine, I’ll do it, just don’t kill me” Billy speaks up.
“Scouts honor,” Agatha says as Billy gears up to shoot her.
You stand next to Rio, leaning on her slightly. She wraps her arm around your shoulder, pulling you further into her side. She feels your eyes on her and meets them. You slowly glance over to Agatha and Billy and then back at her. She shakes her head and you nod to yourself.
When Billy shoots Agatha the coven gasp seeing Agatha’s power in real time, sucking the magic out of the boy.
“She’s going to kill him,” Alice mumbles under her breath.
“She won’t,” Lilia and Jen say at the same time.
Agatha hears them and subtly surprised by their confidence in her. Upon hearing it, she cuts the ties with Billy. He stumbles to the ground, but is quickly helped by the rest of the coven.
“Finally, everyone get what they wanted?” Rio claps her hands together.
The all hum in agreement.
“Great, now get out,” she points to the exit of the backyard.
It starts a commotion again as they start to talk over each other.
“SILENCE!” Your voice echoes causing them all to stop talking. “I get it, you’re a coven now, found family yay, etcetera, etcetera. As a familiar who has been separated from her witches, I would really hate for you to get in the way of what would be our first time alone together in centuries. That would really piss me off.”
They murmur in consensus.
“We’ll let you know when it’s ok to come over,” Agatha says shooing them away in the process.
They all pile into Billy’s car and the three of you wave them away. As soon as they pull off, you enter Agatha’s home.
“Well, now what?” Rio asks.
Agatha flicks her fingers replacing her dirt covered clothes, before doing the same to you.
“I don’t know about you, but my back has been begging for a mattress after sleeping on that awful ground,” Agatha cracks her back.
“Pillows,” you nod in agreement.
The three of you climb up the stairs to the bedroom. Once you’re inside, you fall face first into the middle of the bed. Moaning in pleasure as the bed melds to hold your body.
“I hope to hear more of that later,” Rio lays in the space to your right.
Agatha lays to your left, “Such a pretty sound, sweetheart.”
You groan, turning your head between the two women, “Yes, later we can do that, but now it’s time to sleep. So less talking, more cuddling.”
“It’s not even 5 pm.”
“I can go sleep on the couch if you want to argue with me,” you tell them.
“No,” they say in unison.
You smile, “That’s what, I thought. Now, hold me.”
Agatha and Rio’s fingers intertwine as they wrap their arms around you. It’s warm and safe, the horrors of the road, no longer haunting.
You too, had gotten what you wanted from the road. It was this. Rio and Agatha; you all back together. For a moment, having a simple domestic life.
You knew it wouldn’t last long, especially now that Agatha had her own little coven of chaos. Yet the thought of it made you smile. As long as the three of you were together, everything would work out alright.
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imaluvsj7 · 2 days ago
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緑 ──── KISS AND MAKE UP ; nishimura riki
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SYNOPSIS: riki and reader make up after the argument over text but not only for the argument but also riki learns a little more about relationship PAIRING : idol riki x reader GENRE : fluffy, angst ; WC : 1,379
WARNINGS : to understand the plot better you need to read my riki boyfriend text smau which I have linked here and also all the way down. Not proofread thoroughly, english is not my first language. That's it I don't think there is anything sensitive they have some good talk about relationship.
AUTHORS NOTE : clearly my feminist didn't come over, but honestly to all the girls out there please choose a kind ask generous guy and don't be mother to any guy who takes everything from them I tried to put my message through this fic sorry not sorry if it offends anyone. I hope to make the mother wizard liz girls get it!!! DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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written in second person pov:
It's been two weeks since you have talked with Riki, one of the reasons was obviously you were upset with him but mainly because you don't know what to even talk about.
He has been sending flowers, food, and little gifts to apologize with a note saying he is sorry. Not only that but he is constantly sending you messages and voicemails. First it was explaining himself and apologizing but now it's all about him apologizing and asking to talk to you in person.
Today you finally thought of responding to him and meeting him because soon he has to prepare for their comeback, which also means there will be a tour announcement. You don't want him to go on without solving everything.
Walking towards the park you guys always meet since him being an idol wasn't an easy task to roam with his girlfriend everywhere. Thoughts have filled your brain that desires to turn around and run away but you kept your decision firm.
Walking towards the bench you guys usually sit you find him eagerly waiting because of his bouncing leg. “Hi” he turns his head and looks at you, soon standing up and nervously trying to stabilize himself.
“H-hi ___ you came hah I was waiting for you to arrive you know to talk and make up I know you wanted to talk and we talk but I wanted to talk so much” he shuts up as realized he was rumbling. “Sorry I am just nervous”.
“It's okay riki let's sit and talk please.” Soon you both sat while there was silence for a few seconds but he was the first one to break it. “___ I know it was my mistake,I said in the heat of the moment. I know it's just an excuse but please I'm genuinely sorry I didn't mean to say that.”
“Riki it's not only about part of me going to your company but also how you didn't understand why I took stand for jake, I explained to you but you didn't even once responded to that text or even mentioned it once, talking about me understanding your idol industry yeah sure I don't experience them I don't understand the same emotions but I have seen you guys working.
I always sat with you whenever you went through rough patches in your idol life. I tried my best to understand never backed away and how can I let someone disrespect Jake when all he was was being too comfortable with him.
Jake was clearly uncomfortable with her actions and he set the boundaries by dismissing her but then she went all defensive talking about how bad Jake was during practice hours so she is trying to help him. She isn't even your guy's choreographer and not only that also went too far saying Jake is acting too tough when all he did was speak for himself.
How can I let someone talk to him like that? I walked inside when she was talking in a disrespectful tone with him and all I did was hold her accountable for her actions and words. As soon as the manager called you and said I was being disrespectful you started giving me silent treatment even after Jake explained to you the whole situation you didn't approach me.
And even after understanding the whole situation you went ahead and said those words.” — you take a breath after letting out all the thoughts and emotions you had suppressed in the two weeks. “I know it was my fault soon after the text Jungwon hyung called everyone to talk about the matter and after discussing with them I realized my mistake and the things I said.
Before the discussion the manager told me Jake hyung did stand for himself and because you're not a part of the company you don't need to come over because of your disrespectful behavior. I knew and even defended you that you definitely did that because of some reason but as soon as the manager said I need to distance myself from you I went blank and felt angry and I just took that out of you even after Jake told me everything.
I was just angry about the situation and in the heat of the moment I thought if Jake did speak up for himself you didn't had to meddle in between which was my fault, I understand what you're coming from baby I was just furious from mangers words and I just took that on your I’m really sorry. I know that's my mistake and I swear I'm ready to do everything to make it right. I just don't want to lose you. I know it's pathetic and corny to say the sentence after doing wrong and all guys say the same thing but I mean it please I will do whatever you want me to.”
“Reflect on yourself then, reflect on your words and actions, it's not only about now it's about everytime we go through anything. I don't want a guy who acts tough and is emotionally unavailable when it's required. I want you to act mature when we have arguments and by that I don't mean you need to always be right or wrong I mean be a generous guy who understands the situation, who knows how to talk and knows how to communicate when it's required.
And it won't be achieved in the next day or the next moment. You need to work on yourself everyday, especially during every argument, it's not only about now but always. Do you understand what I'm saying?” — he quickly nods while looking at your hand and you nod, giving him permission to hold your hand.
“I know I'm definitely not the best guy and I love how mature you're ___ despite being the same age as me but I will try my best to understand your words and work on them, I know I am bad at some point of the relationship and that will never be an excuse to treat you bad but rather I will work of them I will understand situations before acting up. Just please hold my hand to guide me when we are in such situations.”
“I will riki but just know I'm not your mother who is raising a child, I will guide you depending upon the situation but you need to enhance your knowledge about relationship and how to make it work you're old enough to understand some aspects when things go wrong. I will guide you but I'm not your mother to stay emotionally strong through everything you do. I want a partner riki, not a baby.”
“Then lean on me as a partner and walk out when you need to play the role of mother. I don't want to act like a manchild or mommy's boy but as your beloved. Lean on me when we both know the direction and walk out when I push you forward to lead us on the path, lovely.”
Looking at you with teary eyes he asks “I know forgiveness isn't about the text but my behavior so it will take time and I want you to take time, but let's not break apart.” — he pleads with eyes filled with tears. “Who said we are breaking apart you dumb dumb of course not we will make it work” — you said while wiping his tears and hugging him while he breaks down in little sniffles.
“I was scared I thought you're going to break up after you stopped responding to me.” “Well that was because I wasn't mentally prepared to talk, you know.” “It's okay you're my precious so I am a little emotional.” “You sure it's little.” “Stop being mean, I will cry more.” — you laugh lightly at his whiny state while he still has his head in the crook of your neck. Soon after hugging for about ten minutes he pulls his head up and asks.
“So I can please kiss you.” “Well I don't think so.” “Sweetheart please please please.” “Sure you big baby.” — He quickly leans in while meeting your lips and locking them softly while he holds your hands tightly, silently promising himself to do better.
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꩜ .ᐟ NOTE : haven't made my taglist yet so please ask in the reply to be added in my permanent taglist for more bangers,,, also I hope this doesn't turns out boring but people genuinely understand my point and for more context read part 1 here!!
꩜ .ᐟ TAGS: @taeminsboogers @mimisxs @nishimurarikisthings @avacelestepereira @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
˙ . ꒷ 🍰 masterlist taglist. 𖦹˙—
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kathleenkatmary · 12 hours ago
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I saw someone recently say that you can call them out while still being kind and treating them like humans, just treat them like first graders. And initially my reaction to that was that it sounded pretty infantalizing and if anything such people would respond very poorly to being treated like a child. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the person saying this didn't literally mean "treat them and talk to them like they're six years old." I think they meant that most of the people who have been radicalized haven't like... taken in all the information and thought through all of the hypotheticals and the practical reality of what the things they believe and advocate for would mean for real, normal people, particularly those that they know and love. Most of them have been manipulated by manipulated information from manipulated people and they are quite literally ignorant.
So i think that's what the "approach them like they're a first grader" thing is about. It's not about some idea that they should literally be spoken to or treated like a child. It's about how, when they don't know something or they think something that's wrong, you treat them with the same grace that you would a first grader who didn't know something or who thinks something wrong. If a first grader came up to you and said something that was wrong or said they didn't know something, you wouldn't treat them like a stupid idiot or like some kind of monster. And sure, it's easy to say "but they're adults so they should know better." But nobody is born knowing everything, and nobody is born with a fully formed and in tact sense of right and wrong. We have to learn those things as we grow - and when it comes to learning things that's a process that never stops - and the people and situations we come into contact with as that's happening. That means that unfortunately some people are going to learn things that aren't true, that are hateful, that are bad for society, etc. But the good thing is that it also meant that if those same people meet the right people and end up in the right situations, they can learn things that are true, that are about love and compassion rather than hate.
Of course, of course, of course that doesn't mean that anyone is obligated to. But I do think that over time that idea of "you shouldn't feel obligated to treat people like that with kindness and compassion" because "you are required to treat people like that without kindness and compassion".
If we want to make the world a better and safer place for marginalized people, part of achieving that goal is always going to be trying to turn as many people who have been radicalized toward hate back toward love and compassion. Because hate isn't going anywhere. I know it might be easier and more comforting to think that bigotry is mostly the result of old people who are stuck in the way society and culture was when they were young and that it will die off with them, but that's just not reality. It's never just going to die off with the older generations, and if the past several years have proven anything, it's that it will continue to spread among the younger generations. And yes, voting and getting progressive people into office and positions of power is important, and because having people who agree with them in power only emboldens bigots. But stuff like campaigning and voting needs to be combined with trying to change minds, because (1) there's always going to be races that progressives lose/that bigots win, no matter how progressive the political landscape might be at any given time, which means there will always be that chance for bigots to impact laws and policy, and (2) even with progressive people in office and positions of power, there are still always going to bigots on the ground making people's lives miserable in ways that have nothing to do with policy and laws, and as such we can't just rely on elections to stop them.
I understand why some people might struggle with the idea of being compassionate and kind to people who treat others with so much hate. But nobody is born a bigot. Either they were raised by people and in an environment that fostered those mindsets and behaviors, or they were radicalized because at a time when they were struggling and vulnerable they were preyed on and manipulated. So if you decide to, that kindness and compassion you're showing them isn't going to a hateful bigot. It's going to the person they were before. It's going to a kid who's growing up in such a hateful environment that that's what they learn. It's going to someone who's struggling, vulnerable, and desperately searching for a reason that they feel that way, for connection, for something that makes them feel in control and like the world makes sense. If they could learn to be a bigot, they can also learn not to be.
Some people won't respond well. Some people are willfully ignorant and they don't want to learn. Some people want to be hateful. For some people, they're desperate to feel powerful and hate is the only way they know how to do that. Some people's bigotry is the result of issues that are so deep that you're not going to be able to fix or change them, no matter how kind and compassionate you are, or how much you're capable of teaching them. But there are so, so, so many people who do just need the right person to reach out to them.
posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.
those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.
radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.
ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!
"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.
it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?
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carolperkinsexgirlfriend · 2 days ago
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can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 11
Or: a secret Admirer AU
PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10
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Steve waits until everyone’s gone home to open the letter. Chrissy had ribbed him over not sharing but, no matter how supportive she is, she just doesn’t get it—she can’t. No matter what she’s shared, her and Jeff are clearly dating. And even if they hadn’t been, Jeff likes girls. The worst thing that would’ve happened is him turning her down.
With Eddie? The worst thing that could happen is total annihilation.
And Steve’s never been good at holding himself back. He cares fast, and he cares hard, and he can never quite stop, no matter what changes, or how much distance he puts between himself and the other person. Look at Nancy, and Tommy, and Carol, and his parents, and every single relationship he’s had where he’s all in, and the other person never meets him. He doesn’t even need halfway, hell, he’d take a quarter.
But even that’s never how it works out. If there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s that Steve Harrington is too much, always.
So, if his fingers shake as he opens the letter, who can blame him?
But, inside is everything he could have ever asked for—Because you’re it, baby. He caresses the words, fingers trembling, heart shuddering in his chest to a beat that sounds a lot like, “maybe, maybe, maybe.”
He knows it’s stupid. This letter isn’t for Steve, not really. It’s Chrissy’s face Eddie pictured when he wrote it, Chrissy’s lips he imagined kissing, Chrissy’s hand he imagined holding. But, it’s hard to remember, when there’s such longing on the page in front of him.
He doesn’t know what to say, thoughts running too fast to pick them out and write them down. He tries, pen stuttering over the page in half-formed sentences, until he’s left with:
  Eddie —
  You don’t want to know what I
  Someone has loved you. I love
  I’ll take anything you
  Fuck
Hee crumples the letter up into a ball, and tosses it across the room toward the trash bin. He shoots, he misses, he lays down with all the lights still on.
Steve stares down at Eddie’s letter, helpless in the face of the bubbling hope, unwilling to squash it. He folds the letter back up and puts it under his pillow, hoping for dreams, just like Eddie had said.
He doesn’t.
Steve’s tired the next morning, zoning out during class, and shuffling through the halls like a zombie. Chrissy keeps sending him worried looks, and even Robin asks if he’s okay in Mrs. Click’s class, which she was right, they do share.
Steve tells her he’s just tired, and she drops it, but there’s a sad, knowing smile on her face.
It happens at lunch. Eddie jumps up on his lunch table, boots thudding loudly against its metal surface, drawing all eyes in the room toward him. Everyone looks away, familiar with his tabletop rants by now, but Steve can’t look away.
Eddie’s magnetic when he’s like this, a black hole swirling everything up in its path. Steve doesn’t want to miss a thing, barely blinks as Eddie begins the familiar walk across the Hellfire table.
“Forced conformity, folks—it’s what’s killing the kids!” he cries, clapping fast to punctuate the sentence. Across Steve’s own table, Tommy boos, gaining momentum when the people around him laugh and join in. “Oh, don’t act so high and mighty, Hagan, you’re the worst of all.”
He’s grinning, but it’s not the dimpled one. He’s just baring his teeth, a predator scenting blood. “You’re all so focused on shooting balls in laundry baskets, like that’s all there is, but guess what? You’re going to be a washed-up has-been before you’re even out of this school.”
He takes a few steps forward, eyes straying from Tommy farther up the table, making it clear he’s talking to all of them. “You don’t realize that daddy’s money’s gonna dry up, and you’ll be left with a wife and three kids you don’t even like, reliving the old glory days like they were even worth remembering.”
“Come say that to my face, Munson!” Tommy cries, standing up from the table as the rest of them egg him on.
Eddie makes a little rock and roll symbol and smirks, like that’s exactly what he wanted Tommy to say. “And you know what? That’s all you’ll deserve for the shit you’ve pulled. A sad lonely life with your sad flaccid dick.”
And suddenly, he’s looking right at Steve, gaze piercing straight through Steve and into his soft, squishy underbelly. There’s blood in the water, and by Eddie’s laugh, he can taste it. “You’ve earned it,” he says, not even blinking, his eyes so intense Steve can’t breath with it. “After all, once a jock, always a jock.”
Chrissy links their fingers and squeezes his hand beneath the table. Steve blinks, spell broken as he squeezes her back in thanks. He looks down at his remaining chicken nuggets, appetite gone.
“You okay?” Chrissy asks, barely audible with all the continued heckling.
Steve glances up just in time to watch Eddie jump down from the table and plop his ass down like none of it happened at all. He’s laughing as Jeff and Gareth pat his back, but he looks deflated, like the whole spectacle took everything out of him.
“I will be,” Steve replies, pushing his lunch tray away.
If nothing else, he has something to write now.
*** 
Eddie can’t get the look on Harrington’s face out of his mind. He’d been at the top of his game, riling the jocks up enough that Hagan had jumped up like a jack-in-the-box. But, then he’d looked at Harrington, and it’d all gone wrong.
The guy was drooping into himself, mouth down-turned, eyes like a kicked puppy. Eddie stuttered, got caught up in him, something unnameable stuck in his throat. Eddies doesn’t even know what he’d said after that, couldn’t hear himself think much less speak, until Harrington finally looked down at the tabletop and their eye contact broke. 
Now he’s stumbling over his words, trying not to even look Harrington’s way as he finishes off his speech. It lacks the usual oomph, but Eddie doesn’t care; he just wants the whole thing to end.
Eddie stumbles down into his chair, shuddering through his smile as Gareth and Doug elbow him in the side, ribbing him good-naturedly. He chokes out a laugh, and doesn’t look at the jock’s table for the rest of lunch.
The next time he sees Harrington, there’s another complication to contend with in the form of Robin Buckley, best known for her proficiency on the trumpet and quirky outfits. And now? She’s best known for attaching herself like a barnacle to Harrington’s side.
Except, if she was a barnacle, Harrington might at least try to shake her off. But, no. He just smiles at her, and whispers with her, as she inserts herself between Chrissy and Harrington like she belongs there.
Chrissy, for her part, seems to like the girl as well.
Eddie doesn’t get it, can’t comprehend what the hell’s happening, and it makes something squirmy and viscous sink into his stomach every time Buckley inserts herself between the pair, every time they smile at her.
But, they still stop to talk to him in between classes, so Eddie tries to drop it.
“It just doesn’t make sense!” Eddie cries, phone clutched to his ear, not even letting Gareth get a word out before he’s continuing the conversation Jeff had rudely interrupted by showing up to lunch. “What the hell is Harrington’s deal?”
“Dude, you’re like, obsessed,” Gareth replies, clearly talking around a mouthful of whatever after-school snack he’d chosen this time.
“Is he trying to date every girl in school at the same time?” he whines, yanking on his hair hard enough that his scalp tingles.
“You’re just jealous,” he replies, and that same squirmy feeling makes Eddie wriggle his whole body, like there’s a chill in the air.
Is the heater on the fritz again?
“Of who?” Eddie screeches before quieting down, peeking into the living room to make sure Uncle Wayne hasn’t stirred. He hasn’t, but Eddie still keeps his voice lowered as he continues hissing into the receiver. “Of Harrington? Don’t be absurd.”
Gareth laughs, “I don’t know, man, but this whole thing is just getting weird.”
“I know, right? What are they up to?” Eddie asks, ignoring Gareth’s muttered “not what I meant,” like he hadn’t said anything at all.
He never figures it out because Buckley never comes around—not to band practice, or Hellfire, or any of the other times Chrissy and Eddie (and Harrington) are in the same place. Eddie should be relieved. He’s not.
Everything is spiraling out of his control.
But, the letters keep coming, and Eddie keeps devouring them
  Eddie —
  I really liked your tabletop speech this week, even though you made fun of the jocks. Some of them definitely deserve it. Do you hate all of them, or just the bullies?
  You laughed, but it wasn’t your real laugh like when Mr. Danver accidentally said ‘orgasm’ instead of ‘organism’. I love your laugh, I thought about it all day. Kind of like when your favorite song gets stuck in your head.
  I know I’ve said it before, but I do really like you. But, if you knew me, I don’t think you’d like me. It’s okay, though. I’m stupid like that—always putting my whole heart into people who don’t feel the same.
  I’m sorry, this is probably not the letter you hoped to get. I’ll be better next time, promise.
  Yours,
  Your Secret Admirer
  P.S. Put your response in the World Atlas, the long one that they have to put sideways on the bookshelf (because no matter where you are, I’ll always think of you).
They all make something flutter within him like his lungs are growing wings and flapping themselves out of his body entirely. Even as it leaves him breathless and aching, he wants more of it, longs for it.
It’s just—she sounds so sad, lately, like she’s losing hope in this at all.
All Eddie wants to do is reassure her. So, he keeps writing back, pulling his heart off his sleeve and flinging it down on the page for Chrissy to read, hoping he’ll somehow see those same feelings reflected in her eyes.
He never does.
So, he pokes; he wheedles; he pines for a girl on a page that never quite stands before him. And he pours it all onto the page.
  Secret Admirer,
  I don’t think it’s all jocks—you’re too nice for that. But even you have to admit that a lot of the jocks are only doing it to be at the top of the food chain. Guys like Carver and Harrington Hagaon? They don’t even care about sports, they just want peons to fawn over them. But, there’s people like you, too, so maybe more of them are better than I expect.
  I can’t imagine knowing who you are and not liking you. You’re the nicest girl I know. You don’t have to tell me who you are, but if you do? I promise, it’ll all be okay.
  Yours, always,
  Eddie
  P.S. You don’t have to “be better,” baby. I just want you to be you. That will always be enough for a guy like me.
It’s not enough—something is breaking open in him that words on the page can’t quite mend.
“I’m going to ask her out,” Eddie says once Harrington and Chrissy have left the latest Hellfire session, still inexplicably coming despite never playing.
Jeff chokes on his sip of soda, coughing harshly enough that some of it comes out of his mouth and splatters onto the table.
“Gross, dude,” Doug says, but still pats his back like he’s burping a baby.
“Are you serious?” Gareth asks, tone disbelieving.
Eddie makes crazy eyes at him, trying to psychically beam all his thoughts into Gareth’s head like, yes I’m serious, and, you know about the notes, why are you looking at me like that, and, what the hell else am I supposed to do to crack this mystery wide open?
“That is such a bad idea,” Jeff cuts in once he’s got his coughing under wraps.
Eddie whips towards him, scowling at his best friend as he replies, “you’re just jealous.”
Jeff sighs, heaves himself out of his chair, says a quick, “whatever, dude,” and walks out of the room without a backward glance.
“Aren’t you his ride?” Doug asks.
Eddie flaps his hand in dismissal and replies, “forget about him,” despite his gut sinking down into his boots at Jeff’s words.
“Well, how are you going to do it?” Gareth asks, the only one of his friends to seem even remotely excited.
Eddie keeps flapping his hand and replies, “never you mind.”
That even gets Gareth to scoff, knowing Eddie well enough to know that means he’s got nothing.
But there’s a thought niggling away at his brain: why not finish this thing the same way it had begun?
On his way out the door, he drops his latest letter to Chrissy into the trash bin and doesn’t look back. He’s got a new letter to write.
*** 
“You know this is juvenile, right?” Jeff asks.
Chrissy pulls the world atlas off the shelf with a roll of her eyes.
Her and Steve had fought about him picking up the letters alone, and Chrissy had won the way she always does when it comes to matters of his safety. He’s sulking in the parking lot now, waiting for her to retrieve it for him.
But, there’s no letter behind the cover. She flips through the whole book, then shakes it, pages flapping wildly, to see if anything falls out. Nothing does. No note, at least not yet.
Steve will be disappointed.
“They’re boys, of course it’s juvenile,” Chrissy says, turning away from the shelf to make pointed eye contact.
If boys are stupid, Jeff is the stupidest of them all. She thinks she can see a tinge of red to his dark cheeks that makes her smile. Chrissy turns away to pick up her book bag where she’d left it on the closet table.
“There’s no letter?” Jeff asks, sounding surprised.
Chrissy sighs, responding, “not yet. I’ll have to check back tomorrow.”
Steve will be crushed. He’s been weird about the letters since he’d begun writing the first drafts alone. Even with the minor polishing Chrissy puts on them after, they’re Steve’s words and feelings, no matter what Eddie thinks. And it shows in the way he takes them home and pours over them for days before slinking back to her with the original letter and his response, cheeks rosy as she fixes his spelling errors.
“Eddie’s planning on asking you out, you know,” Jeff says.
There’s a clatter behind one of the shelves, but Chrissy barely notices. “He said that?” she asks, turning sharply toward him, hand still clutching her book bag. 
Jeff nods, lips pursed. God, what are they going to do? This whole thing has spiraled so far out of either of their control. Chrissy had known when she offered that there was a chance Eddie would catch on—that he’d see her leaving a note, or catch her picking one up.
Better her than Steve, she’d thought then. No matter the awkward situation she’s found herself in, she still thinks that, even more so now. Better her than Steve. Steve, who’s proven himself kinder than she ever imagined, who would be run out of town, her ex-boyfriend at the head of the mob.
Chrissy can hear someone shuffling out of sight, feet shuffling on carpet far too close for comfort, so she steps closer to Jeff and lowers her voice. 
“Do you know when?” Chrissy asks, anxiety leaching into her. She needs to talk to Steve. Flirting with Eddie is one thing, but going on a date with him? Going out with him? That’s a whole other monster.
And then, of course, there’s Jeff.
“No, he hasn’t told me anything,” he replies, something small and hurt in his voice.
Chrissy’s never had a best friend, but Steve’s given her a little taste of it, and she’d be hurt if he didn’t tell her something like this.
“He’s probably embarrassed,” Chrissy says, aching to reach out and touch, but they’re in public, and Jason could be lurking behind any corner; the last thing she wants is to put a target on another person she cares about’s back. “You’re still his best friend.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he sighs, but when she bumps their shoulders together gently, his lips quirk up.
He smiles over at her, bumping their shoulders together himself as he asks, “drive me home?” as if it isn’t a foregone conclusion. “And stay for dinner?”
That gives her pause. She can feel her cheeks flushing. Despite taking the next step in their relationship, Jeff’s never invited her in, not where his parents and brother are. They haven’t even really discussed what they are, not with this whole secret admirer thing hanging over their heads like the Sword of Damocles.
But she wants to. She wants to hold his hand in the halls, go to his house for study dates and dinner, kiss him somewhere where they don’t have to be furtive.
It’s all stolen moments with Jeff, kisses and conversations made in haste when all she wants to do is linger. So, she says, “yes, please,” and bounces out into the parking lot.
Steve isn’t there, and neither is his car.
“Maybe he went home?” Jeff asks, but he looks just as unsure as she feels.
“We’ll call him when we get to your house,” she asserts. She’s relieved when all he does is nod and follow her to her car. 
She’s got a best friend to find.
*** 
Robin knows something’s gone wrong as soon as she sees that dangerous gleam in Carver’s eyes. She knows whatever it is, it’s about to go catastrophically wrong when she follows his line of sight to where Eddie stands chatting away with one of his friends.
Still, she stands frozen, watching in breathless horror as Eddie waves goodbye to his friend, that familiar happy grin on his face as he slides into the driver’s seat of his van. Heavy music blares from the rolled-down window as his van sputters to noisy life.
When she turns back to get her eyes on Carver, he’s gone. She spots him only as Eddie peels out of the parking lot, Carver’s douchey car hot on his heels.
Robin turns and runs back into the school. She’d spotted another douchey car still loitering in the parking lot; Steve’s in here somewhere.
She checks the library first, knows from previous confessions that it’s where he and Chrissy work on most of the secret admirer notes. It’s deserted aside from a scattering of freshmen in one corner, and Nancy Wheeler arguing with the librarian about a text the library doesn’t seem to have.
She finds herself in the gym next, unsure if any sports are currently in season, but nice guy or not, Steve’s got jock sensibilities. He likes the gym. There’s a singular kid shooting baskets, but based on the rack of balls off to the side, there might have been more.
She goes to the boy’s locker room without thinking, pushing the swinging door open with sweaty palms and shaking arms.
Inside, she finds boys, all blessedly dressed.
“Ohhh!” they call juvenilely as she stands there, shocked as four pairs of eyes lock on her.
“Girl in the locker room!” someone calls; she’s pretty sure that’s Tommy Hagan’s smug voice, but she barely notices, too caught up in trying to find her boy in the mess of bodies.
“Steve,” Robin strangles out.
Her skin feels tacky with panic sweat, and in the past five minutes of searching, she’s run her fingers through her own hair enough times to leave it sticking on end. She’s sure she looks more like a troll doll than an enticing member of the opposite sex.
“He already left,” a guy she doesn’t recognize responds, eying her up and down. “But I’d be more than happy to help you out.”
As if his meaning wasn’t already clear, he bites his lip and swipes his lip like he’s wiping up drool as all the other boys start “ooooh”ing in unison again. Is that something they’re taught in elementary, or something?
She doesn’t wait for them to continue, just turns and runs out of the locker room, panic nipping at her heels.
She runs back out to the parking lot, out of places to check and desperate to not miss Steve leaving.
That’s where she finds him, leaning casually against his car like Eddie’s life isn’t at stake.
She runs so fast, limbs uncoordinated and breaths coming rapid, that she doesn’t stop in time and hit’s Steve straight in the chest. 
She bounces off, almost falling to the pavement until he grabs her shoulders and steadies her. Steve’s hands feel big on her shoulders, the pressure of his palms pushing her soul back into her body as she takes big, deep gulps.
“What’s wrong, Bobby?” he asks, already looking at her like she’s a wet puppy he’s ready to scoop into his arms and dry off with the shirt on his own back.
There’s too many witnesses, and too many damning words to be said, so all she whispers is, “you need to go, Steve.”
He wrinkles his nose, but something of the gravity of her words must sink in because he leans in without hesitation and meets her pitch as he asks, “where?”
Robin steps even closer, damn-near standing on Steve’s toes as she begins her stilted explanation.
“Jason Carver followed Eddie’s van in his car,” Robin starts, words blurring into each other in her haste to get them out. “I don’t know what he’s planning, but—“
She doesn’t get to finish; Steve bolts to the driver's side door and flings himself into his car without sparing her a second thought.  She can’t blame him.
Robin only hopes he makes it in time.
PART 12
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sun-snatcher · 3 days ago
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Elrond has a conch shell.
Not one of the prettier ones you would imagine, with the spikes and spots— No, this is a weathered and lumpy one; Sandy coloured and boring, for lack of a better word, only offset by the fact there’s a weird star-shaped hole you can peek through.
He brings it everywhere he travels.
Theory goes that it’s a magical trumpet gifted to him. Or, that he keeps secret messages in it for safekeeping. And his favourite: that he’s bound to the shell by oath, and if he steps a mere pace away from it, Ulmo would transform him into foam like a cursed sea-nymph. (You can imagine that one was debunked quite easily.)
No matter; the most important thing the Elves have come to learn about its peculiar existence is that above all: You do not touch it. (One of the younger elven recruits of a party learns this the hard way mid-travel, when he’d— bless him— grabbed the shell and suggested the idea to cast it aside, in exchange for more space to fit a spare skin of water.
It’s the first they’d ever seen Elrond snap like a whip.
Nobody dares question it since.)
That is, until young Estel had found it.
They can hardly blame the little child. Idle hands and curious trinkets never mix well, after all, much less with that of a 6-year-old who’s come to learn his bright-eyes and daisy-face lent him the ability to get away with almost anything.
“Look, Atya!” He’s skipped his way up to one of the open galleries of Imladris, hefting the coveted conch over his head as he peers at the night sky. “I can see the Evening Star through this hole!”
The Elves pale. They wait for the tongue-lashing, but the storm never comes.
“Not like that, Estel,” corrects Elrond patiently, bending to lower the child’s arms. “Put it to your ear, and close your eyes. Yes, now tell me, what do you hear?”
“…The sea!” he exclaims, after a focused minute. Then Estel lights up, and so Elrond lights up, and suddenly there’s a laughter in the air akin to a musical ring of bells, so high and sunny it dispels the witnessing Elves’ tension from the air.
“But how? We’re too far from the shores, and I can’t hear as well as you. Do you hear it too? Listen, Atya, listen!”
“Yes, yes,” Elrond laughs, and holds his hand over his son’s to bring the shell to his ears. And yes, indeed, if he closes his eyes, he could almost see it: The great rushing shores of Sirion, the pitter patter of Elros’ feet splashing at the rolling tides, the salt-winds carrying Maglor’s distant singing and Maedhros’ disgruntlement over grains of sand in his hair.
Elros had had a Conch of his own. His was bright and ivory-coloured, long since laid to rest alongside him in Númenor. When they were younger, they used to believe they could communicate with each other through the shells no matter their space apart— some imaginary fancy planted by Maedhros (“You two are twins. That’s a magic no force nor distance in the world can unmake.”) which was inevitably nurtured by their child-like wonder.
Years after Númenor had sunken, Celebrían caught Elrond once or twice, speaking to the old conch, and bringing it up to his ear in hopes of a reply.
“What do you hear, Atya?”
“My brother,” he says. “Amidst the heart of the sea.”
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aventurineswife · 2 days ago
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Reader knitting baby gloves, hats or little baby vests without telling anything to them. And when they get suspicious that the reader wants a baby or something they learn that the reader's sister is going to give birth and all those are just a preparation for the new coming baby. Their reactions?
“Welcome, little one”
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You sat quietly by the window, the soft click of knitting needles filling the otherwise peaceful room. Every now and then, you’d glance at the pattern, the yarn slipping through your fingers effortlessly as you focused on the tiny baby gloves in your lap. Your mind was calm, focused on the task, though you couldn’t help but smile as you imagined the little hands that would soon wear these gloves.
Sunday walked in quietly, his eyes flickering to the delicate, almost ethereal gloves. “I’ve noticed these,” he said in his usual, composed voice, pausing a few steps away from you. “You’ve been spending an awful lot of time on these… but why?” He tilted his head slightly, his gaze never leaving the tiny gloves.
You glanced up, a small smile tugging at your lips. “It’s nothing. Just a little project.”
He raised an eyebrow, his wings shifting subtly behind him. “It doesn’t look like nothing. Is it for us? Or perhaps…” His eyes narrowed slightly, considering a possibility. "You wish for us to have a child?”
You shook your head with a soft chuckle, setting the gloves aside. "Oh no, it’s not for us. It's for my sister. She’s expecting a baby soon, and I wanted to help out.”
Sunday’s expression softened as he stepped closer, concern and curiosity mixing in his gaze. “Ah, your sister. I see now. A new life to protect, and you’re preparing for it with such dedication. I suppose this isn’t the first time you’ve knitted things for her?”
You nodded, feeling a wave of warmth from his understanding. “No, I’ve done this for her before.”
His serious expression was replaced with a small smile, his eyes almost glowing. "You’re always so considerate for your loved ones. It’s clear you will be a great aunt/uncle."
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Aventurine, as always, entered the room with an effortless confidence, his eyes immediately drawn to the delicate baby vest you were knitting. He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Is this your work? I must say, I didn’t expect you to take up something so… cozy.” He leaned against the doorframe, his eyes following the rhythmic movements of your hands.
You didn’t look up, but you offered a quiet hum in acknowledgment. “Hmm, it’s a hobby.”
“Mm,” he replied, stepping closer with that teasing smile of his, his hands resting in his pockets. “A hobby, you say? And is this hobby preparation for… a little one? You’ve been knitting baby clothes for quite some time now. Are you telling me something, sweetheart?”
You paused for a moment, looking up to meet his playful yet searching gaze. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, and a small smirk played on his lips as he waited for an answer.
“No, it’s not like that,” you replied, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. “It’s for my sister. She’s expecting, and I’m helping her get ready for the baby.”
Aventurine’s expression shifted from playful to surprised, his smirk faltering for a moment. He raised an eyebrow, trying to process. “Your sister, huh? Well, that makes more sense. I had a feeling you weren’t planning on bringing a baby into the picture just yet…”
You smiled at his teasing, grateful for the lightheartedness he brought. “Not yet, no. But I’m sure my sister would appreciate the help.”
“Very considerate of you, as always,” he said with a softer tone, his eyes gleaming with admiration. “I suppose I’ll just have to wait for the next exciting news, then.” He winked at you, leaning in slightly. “But if you ever change your mind… I’ll be more than ready to play the role of doting uncle.”
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You were hunched over your work, carefully weaving the yarn to form a small, intricate baby hat. The rhythmic motion of your hands was calming, and the thought of the new life that would soon enter the world filled you with warmth. But as you pulled the final stitches together, you couldn’t help but notice Ratio standing nearby, his sharp gaze fixed on the tiny hat in your hands.
“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, startling you slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You’ve been quite… diligent in your knitting lately. I must say, I didn’t take you for someone so invested in these… trivial pursuits.”
You chuckled softly, lifting your gaze to meet his slightly raised brow. “It’s not trivial. I’m making this for my sister. She’s about to have a baby.”
Ratio’s eyes flickered with interest, and though he didn’t show it, there was a shift in his expression. “A baby?” His tone was more thoughtful now. “Ah, I see. You are preparing for a new life. How fascinating.”
You nodded, your fingers still working the yarn. “Yes, she’s due soon. I’ve been helping her get ready.”
He stepped closer, a subtle curiosity in his voice as he observed the delicate details in your knitting. “I see. This is rather meticulous work. A fitting way to show affection. I had assumed you had other reasons for such actions… Perhaps even to prepare for something… personal?” He raised an eyebrow, a touch of skepticism creeping into his tone.
You laughed at his suspicion, shaking your head. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just for my sister. A little extra help from me.”
Ratio’s expression softened, a rare hint of genuine warmth in his gaze. “I see. I apologize for my assumptions. I suppose I misjudged the situation. You are indeed a person of thoughtful consideration.” He gave a small nod of respect. “May your sister’s child be blessed with wisdom and a strong mind.”
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Blade stood in the doorway, his red eyes sharp as he watched you knit a tiny baby vest. It was an odd sight, especially when considering the life he led, and for a moment, the cold edge of his gaze softened as his mind raced with possibilities. His quiet steps took him closer, his voice low as he finally spoke.
“You’ve been knitting a lot lately. That’s not like you,” he remarked, his tone just as sharp as usual, but with a hint of curiosity beneath the surface. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
You looked up, raising an eyebrow at his directness. “It’s nothing. Just a little project.”
Blade’s eyes flickered toward the baby vest in your hands, a faint frown forming on his lips. “This doesn’t look like something you’d do for yourself,” he commented, his voice uncharacteristically thoughtful. “Are you preparing for something… or someone?”
You paused, setting the vest down and meeting his gaze. “It’s not for me. It’s for my sister. She’s expecting a baby soon, and I’m helping her get ready.”
There was a brief moment of silence, and then Blade gave a quiet, almost imperceptible nod. “Ah. Your sister.” His expression softened ever so slightly, and for a moment, you could see a flicker of warmth in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “I see. I suppose that’s… good. For her.”
The words were simple, but the underlying sentiment was there—something rare for Blade. You smiled, knowing that despite his dark and fractured past, he was capable of caring in his own way.
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Dan Heng walked into the room quietly, his eyes briefly scanning the contents before landing on the small baby vest you were knitting. His expression remained neutral, but there was a glimmer of suspicion in his eyes as he looked at you. “You’ve been knitting a lot lately,” he commented, his voice calm but his gaze lingering on the tiny clothing you were making.
You looked up from your work, offering him a small smile. “It’s nothing, just a hobby.”
Dan Heng’s brow furrowed slightly. “It doesn’t look like nothing. Is this… for us?”
You chuckled softly, shaking your head. “No, it’s not for us. It’s for my sister. She’s expecting a baby soon, and I’m helping her prepare.”
Dan Heng blinked, surprised. “Ah, your sister. I see now.” His tone softened, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he glanced at the delicate item in your hands. “I didn’t know you were expecting to become an aunt/uncle.”
You shrugged lightly, feeling the warmth of his unexpected reaction. “I’m not, but I’m happy to help.”
Dan Heng looked at you for a moment longer, as if weighing something in his mind, before his lips curved into a rare, genuine smile. “That’s kind of you. I’m sure your sister will appreciate it.”
His words were quiet but sincere, and in that brief moment, you felt the bond between you deepen.
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stiles24 · 18 hours ago
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Right on Time. | e.m.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x (f)reader.
Summary: Eddie's best friend comes to the rescue when a certain 'fan' of his band just won't quit.
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Rushing through the doors of The Hideout, you're greeted first by the familiar rush of smokey air, and then the gruff smile of Nick the bouncer. Squeezing his arm as you walked past, something near the stage caught your eye.
Gareth had spotted you the moment you walked in, and was now waving frantically. Subtlety had never been his strong point, and today was no different. As each step took you closer to him, his eyes darted between you, and the side of the stage.
"Where's the fire, G?"
Following his gaze, it took only seconds to zero in on the source of his panic.
Eddie was kneeling at the edge of the stage, tonight's setlist clutched tightly in his ringed fingers like a lifeline. Leaning dangerously close to him was the She-Devil, dressed in her usual skin-tight clothing. Her real name was Tiffany, and she'd graduated from Hawkins High a few years earlier. She had a thing for guys in bands, and apparently, Eddie was really doing it for her these days.
Tiffany had been to the last four Corroded Coffin shows, each time doing more and more to get Eddie's attention. To her, this seemed to mean wearing less clothing, and invading Eddie's personal space more. You'd been a little surprised when Eddie had brushed her off the first week, but it was clear that he wasn't interested, something she wasn't, or didn't care to understand.
The first time she'd shown up to one of their shows with a few friends, it had earned Jeff a punch to the chest while the boys were packing up. He'd joked that you had competition for the title of their number one fan. You'd not so politely reminded him that you were their first, number one, and sometimes only fan, and that if he ever disrespected you like that again, you might slip and tell Ms. Dunne the math teacher about the dream of his she'd starred in.
Looking back at Gareth, he gestured wildly.
"You have to do something!" He went as far as to grab you by the shoulders and shake. "You have to save him."
"First of all, you've been reading too many fantasy novels, Gar. You need to take a breath."
It made you laugh a little as you watched your friend visibly inhale, as if it was the first time in a while that he'd done so.
Looking back over your shoulder, you took a breath of your own, trying to come up with an idea. Though you weren't above violence, The Hideout wasn't the place for it. You didn't want Nick to have to get involved, and it'd be a pain in the ass for the boys to have to find a new place to play for five drunks each week.
If you were being honest, you didn't want to get involved either, but Eddie looked like a drowning man, and as his best friend, you were almost legally obligated to help him in this situation. He winced as Tiffany ran a blood red nail down his arm, and that was the final hit of courage you needed. You just hoped what you were about to do wasn't going to blow up in your face.
Steeling yourself with a few deep breaths, you gave Gareth's arm a final squeeze and turned to where Eddie was in She-Devil's clutches.
"Hey, handsome!" Eddie's head whipped towards you at the sound of your voice, his eyes wide.
Before you could second guess your actions, you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes, and grabbed Eddie's collar, pulling him close enough to press your lips to his own.
The kiss was quick, over before it had really begun, but Eddie's hand came up to circle your wrist, his rings cool against your heated skin. When his eyes opened, you widened your own, pleading silently with him to play along.
A scoff came from behind you, and you called on everything you'd learned in tenth grade drama class as you turned to face the She-Devil herself.
"Oh, hi! I hope I'm not interrupting. It's just so hard to keep my hands off this guy when he's in the same room." Before she could say anything, you looked back over your shoulder to Eddie, who was trying his hardest not to laugh. "Sorry I'm late, baby. Heather just kept talking about her boyfriend instead of helping me close up, when all I wanted to do was get here to see mine."
At the insinuation that Eddie was your boyfriend, two things happened. Eddie's arm snaked around your shoulders from behind, and Tiffany huffed loudly, before turning to stomp away towards the bar. Once she was out of earshot, you turned to face him, raising an eyebrow.
"Mission accomplished?"
Instead of saying anything, Eddie slid himself off the edge of the stage, coming to rest directly in front of you.
"You-you kissed me."
"I know, Eds. I was there. I'm sorry. I just couldn't think of anything else, and you looked like you needed help, and-"
"You wanna do it again?"
It was pointless to try stopping the blush that spread across your cheeks, so you buried your face into Eddie's chest, feeling the rumble of his laughter. Folding you into his arms, a calloused hand found a home on the sliver of skin at the base of your spine, making it very hard for you to think.
"My hero," he whispered into the crown of your head.
"Sorry I was late,"
Pulling back a little, he shook his head.
"Nah, you were right on time."
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munsonsreputation · 2 days ago
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am i allowed to cry?
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steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: [2.8k]
warnings: cursing, allusion to depression and anxiety, reader nearly has a mental breakdown over the stress of work/school/and life, steve comes to the rescue don't worry (honestly just wrote this because seasonal depression combined with school and work and life is real as fuck and we all need some comfort), also semi proof-read, sorry!
summary: it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, something too heavy for you to bear all alone, but you do, anyway. and when you finally collapse under pressure, the last person you want to worry is your boyfriend steve, but he’s your safe space, and all he ever wants you to know is that he’s going to be there for you through smiles and tears.
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The fatigue settled under your eyes and in the depths of your bones like a heavy weight pulling you down. There was an exhaustion seeping from the inside out, eating you alive until you were merely a shell of yourself. Your stomach twisted in knots unsolvable even with the help of sleep or tea—you felt beyond defeated with no way out.
It didn’t matter where you were and how ‘fine’ you thought you were. The feeling of dread became embedded into your entire existence and it was getting harder to keep up the act and blame it all on school or work. Perhaps it started there, but slowly and surely did the feeling morph into every avenue you steered towards in order to escape.
Your hangouts with friends suddenly turned into an inner panic attack of sorts, feeling the need to keep up with everyone who was doing so well whilst you were barely making it out alive.
Family dinners then turned into interrogations, where they poked and prodded probably with the best intent to figure out why you were so absent, but it all just felt like an attack coming from left and right.
No matter how hard you tried to keep up the facade of being fine and telling everyone they were making a big deal out of nothing, you knew you were moments away from falling apart. At this rate, you were a machine breaking down piece by piece, rusting and stalling until you couldn’t move anymore.
And the absolute last person you wanted to shrink away from was your boyfriend, Steve.
He was the most supportive and present person in your life you could have ever asked for. He never doubted you in anything, and most times he was the one egging you on to go after your dreams. Telling you to take risks and go for it, because you always succeeded in everything you did, and even when it wasn’t on the first try, he knew you were bound to get a hang of it.
A special trait about him that you adored so much was his trust in you. He knew what it was like for people to always question his worth, to try to make it seem like he wasn’t capable or smart enough to make his own decisions so much so that other people had to step in and save him. But to be fair, Steve Harrington never needed to be saved—he just needed the right people around to show him it was okay to make mistakes and learn from it.
And you did just that.
When Steve didn’t know what he wanted to do after graduation, you never pestered him on to go off to college, committing himself to something he wasn’t one hundred percent certain about. Instead, you encouraged him to find his calling, to scour town in order to find different hobbies that had potential job opportunities. To volunteer and possibly shadow in order to widen his options.
You were always supportive and did your best to guide instead of control—and because of that; he was able to find a job that made him happy, surprisingly enough.
And likewise, while Steve never was the biggest fan of structured school, he guided you through your college path. Providing all the moral and emotional support he could offer you, and at times even going as far as to reading a textbook chapter alongside you to help you understand concepts that were all too confusing.
He never pushed too hard, and never made it seem like he didn’t care. There was a perfect balance between your understanding and his—a sort of tune that always was in perfect harmony…until it wasn’t.
You had been assuring Steve that while school and work were surely kicking your butt, you had it all under control, but that was far from the truth. Date nights were seemingly pushed back…not that he minded since he understood you needed to study and rest—but things were beginning to feel more off.
You avoided having him stay the night at your place or even just stopping by to drop you off some food. When you did spend time together, you were physically there, but not mentally. You listened intently to what he had to say, but when it was your turn, you shared little about what was going on with you, and diverted the questions back to him.
A lot of the time, you just seemed out of it. Too far away in your mind for him to reach you, and while he knew everyone had their off days and even off weeks, yours was becoming imminently permanent, and you were beginning to realize it, too.
You sat hunched over at your desk, eyes welling with tears as you stared down at your notes, then back to your textbook, then back to your notes once again. Nothing was making sense, and your patience was slim to none, batting your eyes as the tears fell onto the pages where you were too fed up to care.
Your mind was scattered all over the place, thinking about how you needed to make sense of the content in front of you, but also about the many deadlines of other assignments you had under your belt. On top of that, you had other responsibilities that needed your full attention, yet you sat there wondering how you were even going to complete one of them.
There was something that snapped inside of you. A guttle cry that you let out as you pushed yourself out of your desk chair and stood with your hands threaded roughly in the roots of your hair. Hot, vicious tears floated down your cheeks while you paced in circles attempting to calm yourself down, but nothing worked.
You needed Steve, even when you didn’t want him to see you like this.
He was at your doorstep not even a whole ten minutes after you had phoned him, asking if he would drop by. It was almost midnight, and usually at this hour your nose was buried deep behind textbooks and assignments, but he could just tell something was the matter.
He had asked rushed and worriedly, if everything was okay, but you refused to give him a definite answer, just sniffling back your cries and humming, telling him to come over as soon as he could. The drive was short, and yet for him it felt like eternity until he was face to face with you on your front porch.
“Baby,” His voice was rigid yet gentle, striding closer to you as his warm hands came down to hold your arms, “Hey, what’s going on? Are you hurt?” He breathed, half catching his breath from his haste, and half worried out of his mind.
He bent a little at the knees, trying to get a better look at your face in the dimly lit doorway. All the color was drained from your skin, except the red path your tears took down your cheeks and your bitten lips.
You sniffled hard, an unevenness apparent in your breathing, “N—nothing,” you lied pathetically, closing your eyes as you shook your head, “I’m just a little stressed. You don’t have to worry about m-me.”
There was lots to worry about, especially seeing you in the state that you were in. Steve had seen you stressed out many times before. Worried about running late, leaving something behind, nervous about a final exam, but nothing ever to this extent. This was more than stress, and he knew it.
“Let’s go inside and talk, yeah?” He murmured, ignoring your comment and leading you back into your home, hoping to get you to talk some more.
Guiding you to the kitchen, he switched on the lights, pulling out a chair for you to sit at the dining table while he got you a glass of cold water and some paper towels.
“Have some water, baby,” He knelt on the ground, holding the cup of water to your lips.
You sniffled, closing your eyes tightly as you tried to catch your breath before taking a sip, letting him help you, and pulling the cusp away from your lips before you could cough up. You could feel his eyes boring through you, filled with fret wanting to get down to the bottom of the situation yet letting you go at your own pace.
He took the paper towel, crumbling it up into a small ball to dab over your cheeks and under your eyes, doing his best to soak up all the tears that kept pouring. His heart shook and broke in his chest, wondering what had happened to get you to this state of no return.
“Talk to me sweetheart,” He started, letting one of his hands come to hold your trembling one, giving you a firm squeeze. “What can I do to make it better?” He implored, just wanting to make whatever that was hurting you stop.
The desperation in his voice made another sob rip out from chest, face pinching into something painful as you hung your head low and wept as quietly as you could. You felt so weak and helpless, hating that you pushed yourself to the point where you made the one person who vowed to always be there for you feel as though he wasn’t.
“Babe, shhh, hey c’mon,” He murmured, immediately wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you close to him and burying your face in his chest, “It’s okay. I’m right here, baby. S’okay.”
You hadn’t said anything just amounting yourself to a mess of tears and unspoken feelings, not knowing how you could possibly articulate what you had been going through all this time.
“I—I’m sorry,” You muffled against his chest, causing him to pull away slightly, just to look at you and shake his head wondering why you were apologizing.
“You don’t have to be sorry baby—”
“I’m fucked up, I know I am.” You blurted out, a cruelty in your voice Steve could tell was directed towards yourself, not him.
“I-I’ve been so caught up with school and work that I know I haven’t been the best girlfriend, but I swear—”
“Hey stop it.” He didn’t let you finish, furrowing his brows, determined to make you understand the words you were saying about yourself weren’t true.
“This isn’t about you not being a good girlfriend. You’re so good to me, baby and I promise you whatever it is that’s going on, isn’t because of that. Talk to me. Don’t be scared.”
He assured you with warm circles rubbed over your back, just wanting you to focus on your feelings and not on what you thought you were making him feel. The only thing that mattered to him was understanding you, and how he could fit himself into the puzzle to make it all better.
“I’m just so tired,” You broke down once again, “I don’t feel like myself anymore, and even when I look at myself…I don’t see me.” You croaked, voice breaking in between words.
“All I want to do is relax, but my brain is just on a live wire where I can’t stop thinking and then I start spiraling. If it isn’t school, then it’s work, and if it isn’t work, then I’m thinking about all of the others things I don’t have time for in between school and work.” You heaved, just feeling the panic and frustration arise at the mere conversation.
He hated how he could see the contempt you had for yourself. Fingernails biting into the palm of your hands and a deep-seated frown over your lip, as if you wanted to crawl out of your skin to be someone completely different. But there was no one like you, in his eyes. Whatever it was that you were going through he was going to stand beside you and help you get back to feeling like yourself, the girl he couldn’t imagine living without.
“I’m here for you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner,” He murmured, pushing the tear soaked strands of hair out of your face. “You work so hard all the time, you deserve a break.”
“I can’t,” you cried, shaking your head, rubbing exhaustingly at your eyes, “I physically can’t. I can’t fall behind when I already am.”
You wanted to listen to his advice, the knowing that deep down he was so very right, but you couldn’t look past the idea of letting people down and falling behind when you knew it was impossible to play catch up.
Steve knew how you operated on a one track mind to get things done and out of the way, which was obviously ideal. However, the amount of physical, emotional, and mental strain the work ethic had put you in was enough confirmation that he needed to step in before it got worse.
“Listen to me, hon,” He said tenderly, grasping your face in his hands, “You need a break. I’m not saying you have to abandon everything, but you need to take it easy on yourself. Learn how to step away and breathe. You’re going to work yourself to death if you keep this up…and you know I can’t live without you.”
His sentiment was true and sweet, something he was able to be at all times, even at times like this.
“I’m not going to let you fall behind, baby.” He promised you, swiping his thumbs over your cheeks, pressing a chaste kiss over your lips before he continued, “I’ll help you and we can take it on together, but you can’t keep stuff like this from me okay? The last thing I ever want you to feel is like you have to do it all alone.”
You sniffled, nodding as you swallowed back the lump in your throat, hiccuping slightly, “I-I know, I’m just usually so good at taking on everything, but I don’t know what happened.” You admitted with a shrug.
He nodded understandingly. “You might not feel it, but you’re overworked and that’s okay. I’m going to be here to help any way I can. With school, with work…with breaks.” He smiled softly.
“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” You stared up at him apologetically, wishing you hadn’t waited so long to tell him, knowing that he was always your number one confidant and supporter through everything.
Still, he shook his head, caressing your cheeks, “Don’t apologize, I’m here now and I promise it’s going to get better.”
He held you in his arms a little longer, letting you cry the rest of your tears into his chest, before suggesting to head up to your room. Agreeing, he grabbed a fresh cup of water to keep at your bedside before following you up the stairs and into your room.
Books and papers were sprawled out across your desk, hinting to him what had gone down before you called. He knew that school was beginning to take a toll on you with bigger projects and finals approaching, but had no idea it was getting worse and worse as the days passed by—but no longer, not with him around.
“Let me just…” You spoke under your breath, heading towards your desk to get everything cleaned up, now that Steve was spending the night and not wanting him to deal with the mess.
But he was quick to stop you, grabbing you gently by the wrist before you could even close the textbook, causing you to follow his lead to your bed.
“Hey…” He murmured, setting the cup down on the small table beside your lamp, “we’ll figure it out in the morning okay?”
“Hmm,” You hummed with a nod, letting him situate you into bed before toeing off his shoes and getting in beside you.
You turned to face him after he switched off the lamp, encasing you both in complete darkness. Eyes adjusting to the light, enough for you to make out his face, eyes closed peacefully, as his arms went instinctively around your frame, pulling you closer into him—the feeling you had been missing so desperately, wondering why you ever even thought to push it away.
“You know I’ll be here whenever you need me, all the time okay?” His voice broke the silence, nuzzling his face closer to yours, hoping you knew how true every word was.
“I know,” you promised, jutting your chin up to press a kiss to his lips that he smiled into, kissing you back a little harder wanting you to remember the feeling and that alone.
All the stress still lingered in the back of your mind, but the feeling that consumed wasn’t the fear or the exhaustion that had been weighing you down. It was the knowing that you were allowed to feel your feelings around Steve, and the security to know he was your person, rain or shine—and that in itself was enough for you to know it was going to be okay.
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💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌
a/n: very short one shot in honor of seasonal depression doing its big one on me...but don't worry im surviving through my safe space fiction characters!!! i hope you are all doing well and thank you again for sticking around!
taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3
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ask-underfazverse · 2 days ago
Note
He sits down by a wall. "...honestly, I don't really know how to explain it. Maybe it's like... getting a limb removed because of a tumor that's been festering and growing for years. Or chronic pain suddenly going away. All I know is that I'm BETTER, but... it doesn't completely feel like it. I'm not hurting, I don't want to die anymore for being happy, I feel less guilty for just... being here. But at the same time I have no idea how to function. Everything is suddenly so easy, and it's so strange not having to jump through so many hoops, or perform mental gymnastics to justify my actions, or to come up with a plan. It's... weird. I'm safe... but I don't want to be. I miss my father, but it's only because I hate him now, and I don't know what to feel. So many of my actions, my feelings... were all acts. Sure, most of it was real, but my hatred? I was stating facts then. I didn't even hate him, till I woke up with my siblings blood on my claws..."
He starts testing his hands, balling his fists and opening them, over and over. "...everything I felt had resistance... like I was trying to swim up a waterfall. Anything that wasn't suffering or guilt, it was so hard to feel... I got stronger, learned to he happy and guilty, but now? I'm just... happy. And it's so damn confusing. He's dead, and I can hate him so easily. I can do things. I can eat, sleep, and I don't need to grovel at everyone's feet to feel deserving..."
He rests his hands, as he continues to warm up. "...maybe I'm angry, too. Exhausted as well... I worked too hard, burned my candle at both ends because I thought I had to... now it's so obvious that I didn't need to at all. So many things in my past feel like stupidity, but then? I was doing it like I depended on my actions to breathe... no, like everyone else would stop breathing if I didn't keep breaking. It is... liberating, but it's so, so confusing. I'm..."
He pauses for a few beats, his voice shaking as he softly proclaims in disbelief. "...I-I'm a PERSON..."
The multiverse is full of infinite possibilities...
Most worlds tend to connect through similar builds. Through stories, people, themes...
It's no surprise seeing a stranger to the multiverse. What IS surprising, however, was his condition. Covered in deep wounds, limbs twisted and torn, and he appeared to be drowning in his own blood by the time he was found. Holy weapons were embedded in his skin, and the flesh sizzled liked bacon around it.
He had red skin, gray hooves, horns that looked far too round and circular to have normally grown out of his head. His long pointed tail is covered in hand prints, and there are bones exposed out of his back. He lays face first in a pool of his own boiling blood, barely breathing or moving.
@ask-underfazverse
Cry’s come from the mass amounts of strangers, many just back away to cowedly to do anything, but a few step up, and begin to heal him. Mainly the younger, less evil Malak’s, a few Doug’s that are just simply concerned, and only one Bierce.
Dream Malak very hurriedly takes him to his hospital, with the help of the others.
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loveandleases · 2 days ago
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gonna send in another "Make Chris suffer" ask, with regards to the pregnancy I sent about MC starting a family with an RO, and ask what Jade and Chris would think of this scenario? You said once that Chris desperately wanted a family, so I can only imagine that seeing MC have one with the ROs would be...well. You know. Would the flavor of that change with regards to the RO? (This might have been answered last year? Not sure. Sending it anyway because why not. If so, apologies!)
Jade doesn't want a family, but that doesn't mean she won't be jealous because MC is doing it first. Just the idea that MC is doing something before Jade, well it annoys her. Especially since she knows how badly her father had always wanted another child after MC. Three was the perfect number for him, so she could just imagine how happy he would be to be a grandfather (that's if MC would even allow it considering.)
Chris still desperately wants their own family. The flavor changes a little bit. Either way Chris isn't happy when they hear MC is going to have a family.
(The rest is below the cut.)
❤️ Cam - This one hurts the most, for obvious reasons. There's an undeniable competition between the two of them, there always has been, and there always will be.
Chris can't stand the thought of MC with Cam, the thought of MC raising a family with him. It sets their blood to boil. To Chris, it feels like a slap in the face. Because in their eyes, in their twisted view, they should be the ones doing that with MC. (Chris conveniently forgets they put themselves in this situation.) It makes Chris' skin crawl. Makes them think of all the times they saw the two of you interact and those little moments they always felt excluded from.
To think MC picked the weakest Clarke to be a father to their children, it's pathetic..laughable…infuriating. But most of all, it hurts. Enough to the point they feel like they could cry. Is it anger, longing, or regret? Only Chris knows.
💙 G - Doesn't hurt as much as it does with Cam, but it still rubs them the wrong way. In Chris' mind, they stole MC from G, for themselves. They were the better choice. So, why G? If you cared so much about them, why weren't you with them then or why didn't you stay with them? (Chris of course excuses themself of the blame from that situation.) They could see G being a better parent than Cam, so there's that. G at least has a real job, a real degree. So in that regard, they'd be a good parent.
💚 Kara - Chris won't be happy about it, not at first. But, if they could learn to be happy about anyone having a family with MC, it would be Kara. Because in their way, they do love their sister, and want her to be happy. There would be moments of envy, that Kara gets to see that side of MC, and have those experiences they longed for. Some part of Chris hopes that one day MC would even let them be apart of the kid's life…if even just for a moment. To see that side of MC, and learn to see why they chose Kara.
💛 M - So..I mean this might be a spoiler. But Chris is very much a fan of M's. I'm talking about having multiple signed copies of M's books, different collections. Chris is a simp for author M. So, imagine their surprise when they find out that the author they love and adore is having a family with their ex. It's...mind blowing. Because, who saw that coming? Chris isn't sure who to be more envious of, M for being with MC - I mean starting a family. Or you, for being with the one author they actually enjoy. They would be more confused than anything, but they could get behind this duo.
💜 Isaac - So Chris and Isaac have a history since Kara is best friends with I. This means Chris knows more than players do about Isaac and what they've been through. They were never a fan, but when is Chris ever a fan of people that isn't themself? They always thought Kara could do better than Isaac, and that sentiment stands for MC. They don't think Isaac could be a good parent or role model in general. Just cut your loses while you still can.
🖤 Ardent - Why? In their eyes Ardent isn't worse than Cam…but really? The landlord? Granted most of Chris' ire comes from the fact that Ardent won't let them near you. At. All. Not around his partner, not around his child. Chris isn't a fan of that, especially since Chris is so used to getting what they want. The last thing they want is MC having a family with someone else…with Ardent. In Chris' eyes, Ardent is a meathead. They don't see how caring Ardent can be around his niece, or how much he softens around MC. How much he is willing to do for other people.big bad softie right here. Which is fine, because as long as MC is happy, that's all Ardent cares about. And Cupid of course.
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kingkat12 · 2 days ago
Text
unbearable (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, handjob, alcohol, graphic imagery, angst, mention of drugs, physical violence (almost), asshole teenage boys
summary: Roman had heard your no, respected your wishes, but now you were wondering how big of a blow it truly was for him to get his sexual advances rejected-- why was he blowing this so out of proportion? was something else maybe going on in that brain of his?
word count: 11,053 (am i on the brink of insanity maybe)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9
a/n: sorry for the wait!! school is driving me nuts... BUT SO IS ROMAN!!! GRRR, enjoy!!!<333
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Vladimir Nabokov, the author of Lolita, once wrote to his wife; "I love you, I'm waiting for you unbearably,"
... Waiting for Roman was unbearable, too.
Shatteringly unbearable. Images of wanting to ball up into a contortion of nothingness haunted me, and the need to become a single entity of anger and despair clawed wounds into my skin. I kept imagining I would grow extra arms to help my body become a circle, an ouroboros, but not stopping at the tail-- a snake eating itself to death.
If I could eat myself, I would. Not like an apple, not with gentle nips-- no, I would sink my teeth into my flesh and tear, rip, pull with all my might. Pull, pull, until I nothing but a gushing wound. 
This is what Roman was driving me to. 
Is this a bearable state to be in? Constantly?
If I were to ask myself that question once more, I would answer that I no longer thought anything at all. I refused to. My brain stopped working properly the first time I saw him, anyway. Therefore none of my actions actually mattered. They had no consequence. No consequence at all, just like Roman probably saw his actions.
I should've listened to him the night we got together; "I shut down," he'd said. "I retaliate when I'm angry." Maybe I needed to be diagnozed with selective hearing? It was starting to seem as though I shut my ears whenever he spoke, only listening to the muffled sound of his voice as my pupils formed into pulsing hearts. 
Still, it seemed I wasn't the only one with selective hearing. If I closed my eyes, I could live through the moment I tried to tell Roman I wasn't up for having sex with him last night. It was like he didn't hear me, didn't register it; but in hindsight, it didn't feel like it was with ill intent. 
... Maybe this hearing thing actually needed to be addressed. Maybe we both needed a trip to the doctor's office to tell them we couldn't hear or think properly.
While we're there, I think I'd also like to have him referred to a therapist of sorts. Maybe he could learn how to communicate properly and not run off into the night when he doesn't get laid?
Oh, well-- a girl is allowed to dream. Get a little lost in her head. Sometimes, that's necessary. Especially in moments like these;
I spotted Roman beneath the bleachers with some of his friends, leaning against the metal structure. His hair was styled in the usual heartbreaker style, and the two upper unclasped buttons of his shirt allowed me to glance at the small area of exposed skin-- I spotted the vial of my blood around his neck, and the longer I stood here, I remembered how soft he was to the touch; especially when he was shirtless and on top of me. I hated how I was thinking about him like a dumb cat in heat. Still, I couldn't take my eyes off him; Roman seemed so carefree, laughing with his friends, unaware of how ridiculously handsome he looked. 
He should be jailed for walking around looking like that. For life, preferably. 
My eyes focused on the way he lazily balanced his cigarette between his fingers, taking slow, careful drags as he listened to his friend talk in the heat of the weather. Now, Roman was as different from yesterday as humanly possible-- I could still see the quiet, retreated version of him he had become last night after the rejection. The one that had practically thrown a fit about not getting laid, which quickly spiraled into what I could only categorize as a mental crisis. Had he been so shocked by getting a no that he had shot himself into existential dread? 
And why was his first conclusion that I didn't want him at all?
For a girl who just said she refused to think, I sure did a lot of it. I decided that enough was enough-- I needed to talk to him. Roman was my boyfriend after all, I should be able to do so.
Still, I couldn't remember the last time I felt this small as I made my way towards him, anxiously clearing my throat before I tapped Roman's shoulder. I hadn't managed to put much strength into the tap, and I was almost worried he wouldn't notice me--
One of his friends chimed in with a nasty grin, motioning for Roman to turn around; "Pretty girl, six o'clock," 
Roman turned his head to me, and it was clear that he hadn't expected to see me. His smile fell a little as he pulled his cigarette away from his lips, making sure to exhale upwards and away from my face. I spotted my hair ties around his wrist-- knowing he still wore them gave me a sense of ease. "Hey, sweets," Roman teased, casual as ever. "The catwalk ain't here, you gotta go down to the city center for that."
I rolled my eyes, watching the smug smirk form on his face as the rest of his friends snickered. Why was he acting so... normal? "Rome, we need to talk,"
"Well, fuck," he mumbled, turning to his friends with a playful shimmer in his green eyes. "It seems I'm in trouble, guys." It was as though he was egging them on as they all collectively ooh-ed, his loyal spectators, his royal servants. 
I didn't like this side of Roman. Jock-Roman. There were many sides of him I didn't like, actually. Or was it maybe that I didn't like myself for liking him at all? This was becoming more of a mind-fuck than expected. And if we were to play mind games, I knew where to strike; "Roman, either you fucking talk to me like a grown man, or I sit down in Daniel's lap during lunch today. Your choice," 
His head turned towards me with nearly inhuman speed, no trace of any humour on his face anymore. The sudden change was chilling-- I would've shivered, had I not expected it. The oohs only got louder from the group of boys, and I watched Roman's eye twitch as he threw his cigarette down to the floor, stomping it. Still, I didn't break eye contact; I had read somewhere that dogs battled for dominance this way. Since when were Roman and I no better than dogs? 
Roman turned to his pack; "Scram," he said, nodding for them to leave. 
They were gone within seconds. 
He turned to me, a tired look about him. "Talk, then,"
"No," I placed myself before him, watching his green eyes follow me. "That's not how a conversation works. One person says something, and the other one responds. Would you like to try that out, maybe practice a little? It seems you didn't do enough of that in elementary school."
Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands into his front pockets. "How sweet of you,"
"What can I say? I'm patient like that,"
"You'd be good with kids,"
"How great that you're acting like a child, then," I sighed, realizing that I needed a different strategy if I wanted to get anything out of this conversation. For now, Roman remained silent, probably holding back a long string of curses. I took another step forward, and I was immediately embraced by the scent of his cologne. Fuck, how I loved the expensive smell of Roman. Still, I knew I had to get myself together; I let my eyes soften as I looked up at him. "You haven't answered any of my calls or messages... I don't get what's going on in your head. I'm simply trying to understand, but you're just running away. Again."
Roman's eyelids hung heavy over his eyes, lashes fluttering lazily as he met my gaze. He let out a loud sigh; "Maybe I just need space? Did you ever weigh that option?" 
"... Do you want space?" This was so damn confusing. "You wanted to be as close as humanly possible last night, though?"
Roman scoffed again-- was it a laugh? He didn't say anything as he looked away, possibly to think. Like this, I spotted the vial again; I let out a relieved breath. To be honest, a part of me was worried he'd take it off. 
Finally, he spoke; "I need some time. Time to think,"
"Think about what?" This was making my heart speed up. "Roman, you're worrying me."
He shrugged, still not meeting my gaze. "Just... time. Is that so damn hard to give?" 
God, how I hated his tone. Hated the way he spoke to me right now, hated it all. It pushed me to say my deepest fear out loud; "If you're seriously breaking up with me because I didn't want to sleep with you with my parents on the other side of the wall, I sure hope you think very, very carefully,"
"What?" Roman seemed to snap out of it, finally looking at me. His brows were drawn together, confused; "I'm not breaking up with you. Aren't you breaking up with me?"
"What?" 
"... What?" 
We both looked at each other with bewilderment. It seemed we had both come to very, very different conclusions. 
"Roman, I'm not breaking up with you?" 
"... Why not?" 
"What?!" It felt like my brain was actively melting-- I groaned, rubbing my temples. "What on earth do you mean, why not?"
"I don't know!" Roman's brain seemed to be malfunctioning as well. He kicked off the metal of the bleachers, his mouth opening and closing as he frantically tried to find the right words. His hands were pulled out of his pockets, flailing; "Fuck, I'm confused! I'm gonna-- gonna hyperventilate, so I need to go. Need to-- Yeah, I'm leaving."
I couldn't believe how fast he took off. I hadn't seen anything like that before. Roman wasn't even running, he was simply walking with very, very long steps, and that was enough to be out of reach for me within seconds. 
I wanted to scream up at the sky-- what even was that conversation just now? The urge to drive my head into the bleachers became overwhelming, unbearable, but I opted to simply kick the structure instead. 
That was a miscalculation on my part. I hissed as the blow to my foot sent jolts of pain up my spine, and I winced as I suppressed the need to jump around on my other foot and look like a clown in the process. I cursed, leaning against the cold metal as I tried to steady my breathing.
This day was not going very well so far.
And it certainly didn't get any better when I heard the shuffling of small footsteps along the grass nearby. 
I should've known-- Letha stopped a few steps away from me, her blonde hair moving away from her face with the passing breeze. I blinked through the pain multiple times to make sure it really was her, that she actually had the nerve to walk up to me again. Sadly, I didn't have Roman to hide behind this time. But she looked so sweet with her hands clasped behind her, along with the unsure little tilt back and forth on her feet; "That didn't look very pleasant," Letha mumbled.
I didn't want to entertain this, yet I did. "What, the kick?"
"Well, that too," Letha's trying smile nearly broke my heart. I hated that we didn't know how to talk to each other anymore. "I meant the fight. Is he acting out?"
"... He's not a child, he's not acting out,"
"Didn't you just call him a child?"
"... He's my boyfriend, we're allowed to fight!" I gnarled. "And who the fuck are you to talk to me about this? How much of that conversation did you hear?"
Letha looked like I had just kicked her. "I always do my homework on the bleachers. You guys chose to fight right beneath me,"
Fuck. "You should've moved, then!--"
"It usually helps to dig into what set him off. And then, when you think you have the answer, rip it apart and look through the pieces," Letha's green eyes bore into mine, shimmering with traces of dimmed hope. "I have no idea what you're fighting about, but I've known Roman my whole life. That's how he operates, and... that's all I wanted to say. Hope I can be of some help."
An awkward silence fell over us like a damp blanket-- this was uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I stilled. A part of me recognized that Letha would've been the first to know of my problems with Roman, had we not had a falling out. Had she not iced me out, made me an outcast, turned all my friends against me, and practically shoved me down into the dirt. I would've confided in her, asked her for guidance, support-- I grieved our bond all over again. I gave in, shrugging; "Okay. Thanks,"
That seemed to take a weight off Letha's shoulders. As we stood in silence, simply gazing at one another, until her eyes slowly landed on my necklace. Roman's blood. It dawned on me that it was too late to tuck it beneath my shirt, and I awaited some sort of grief from her about it if she recognized what it was--
"Oh," she breathed. "It makes a little more sense, now."
"What does?"
"If he wears your blood around his neck as well, then it all makes perfect sense,"
"What does, Letha?"
The look she gave me sent a cold set of shivers down my spine. It was ominous, like I had been marked by death. Letha shrugged; "Of course he's... on edge, then,"
The chase was getting frustrating. "Care to go on, or are you just going to keep saying cryptic shit?"
"I can't!-- It's hard to explain!" Letha's shoulders slumped in defeat as her inner turmoil streaked her face. "Just imagine you're really, really broke, but you have a hundred dollar bill hanging around your neck... and under no circumstances can you use it." Her eyes nearly drilled holes into mine. "Would it not drive you crazy?"
Why did it sound like she was insinuating that Roman was a?--
No. 
No.
I didn't want to hear this. I didn't bother to give Letha a proper answer before I kicked off the metal of the bleachers, glaring at her as I passed her. "Stay away," I hissed, harshly nudging her shoulder. "Fuck off back to Barbieworld or wherever it is you came from."
As I marched back to the main building, I found it nearly impossible to steady my breathing. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest as I grasped the vial of blood around my neck, rubbing it between my fingers as my mind raced. 
It was only when I finally got to class and slumped down on the last free seat that I could think back to last night with a clearer vision than before.
The Avoidable Vampirism - The Upir had kept me up long enough to see the sunrise. I wanted to blame it on the author for writing such a captivating book. 
Still, the one thing I hated about literature such as this, was that it never actually said anything straight-forward. It always had to be a nonsense passage with lots of filler words and even more dancing around the actual message;
"Blood's effect on a upir is as much psychological as it is physical. Upirs tend to escalate small arguments in hopes of an eventual physical struggle, a battle that may wound, without properly understanding why. This may lead to a strong sense of insecurity which often settles in the upir's mind and festers, only drawing them forth to the dark road the curse wants them to venture."
That's what was written in the passage about upirs and blood. Nearly impossible to understand, and even further confusing, right? The worst must've been the passage that was written like a self-help book. Did the author seriously think upirs were real?
... Did I?
"And what happens when a upir is exposed to blood, you may ask? There are levels of control which range from person to person. Some may have gotten accustomed to the smell from having cut themselves in earlier years, and some may go into a spiral which is often misdiagnozed as mania in urban psychological trials. But some upirs are so assimilated, they can do experiments with blood or carry vials of it with them wherever they go— which is an inclination that should not be encouraged. The more the upir is around blood in a constant flow, the more the irritation festers, the anger boils, and the innate aggression settles."
And this is where I had to stop. I remember putting the book down to stare at the moon in the distance, wondering why on earth I had fallen into a loophole like this. I couldn't believe how many similarities I could draw between these supposed upirs and my boyfriend-- what did that say about Roman? He was possibly edgier than I had initially thought.
The more I thought about the similarities, the more insane I felt. 
... I needed to return this book to the library. 
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
"The both of you are like two rabid raccoons fighting over scraps in the New York City sewers," Peter grumbled, lazily sweeping the floor with his broom. 
I blinked, no longer rolling up cables as I turned to him. "... Do you have to use the craziest metaphors? And why is it always an animal?"
We had been assigned to clean up after an assembly later that same day, a task I had been able to evade up until now. So, when I spotted Peter also being forced to do this, we both huddled up in the corner of the auditorium backstage and started doing the most mundane tasks with the least effort to pass the time. However, it seemed he had been informed of my petty fight (or whatever the hell this was) with Roman, which was why he was back to making animal metaphors again. "Rabid raccoons..." I mumbled, reaching for a new cable to roll up. "Why the New York City sewers? Why raccoons?"
Peter shrugged; "Uh... Because raccoons are cool?"
Well, that's the thing with boys, isn't it-- there's pure static noise in their brains. I sighed, suppressing a chuckle as I continued my task. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the teacher wasn't catching us slacking off before I turned back to Peter. "Did Roman maybe mention that he thought I was going to break up with him over this?"
"Yeah," Peter also looked over at the teacher just to double check. "I told him it was nonsense, but he's spiraling. He's also gotten obsessed with the idea of joining a raw meat eating contest."
It was impossible not to roll my eyes. Boys. "Seriously, what is up with him these days? Please, bro-code aside, what the fuck is happening?"
I was sure the stupid upir book was the reason my heart jumped when Peter's gaze went straight to my necklace. It almost felt like he was wordlessly trying to hint something-- no, I needed to get this out of my head. 
Still, it chimed in my mind like an old clock;
There are even some upirs that are so assimilated, they can do experiments with blood or carry vials of it with them wherever they go— which is an inclination that should not be encouraged.
Should not be encouraged.
Should not be encouraged.
Peter's voice snapped me out of it-- "I think he's just going through withdrawal,"
"Withdrawal?" I echoed, turning my full attention towards him. That didn't sound good. "What do you mean, withdrawal? From what? He hasn't stopped smoking, if that's what you're talking about."
It seemed to dawn on Peter that he had said something he shouldn't have. His brown eyes widened and he cleared his throat, no longer sweeping the floor as he stopped in his tracks. "You don't know?"
"... You're killing me here,"
Peter sucked in a sharp breath, nodding to himself in defeat. "I would make you promise not to tell him I told you, but I bet you'll want to talk to him about this, so I won't even bother," His grip around the broom tightened; "So... Roman and I used to do coke together. A lot." When he didn't get a reaction, Peter grew visibly nervous. "It used to be the usual thing at parties. Roman always had a stash, and I'd join in from time to time... And he hasn't had a hit for a while, probably since you two got together, so all of this is probably just a part of the withdrawal."
Oh. I had forgotten about this. I blinked, tilting my head to the side as I gazed up at Peter with furrowed brows. Was that supposed to be a big reveal of sorts? Did he seriously think I didn't know that they used to do drugs? That I hadn't seen the both of them leaning over tables, snorting lines as I passed the room to check whether Roman was in there with a girl or not? This confirmed that they didn't notice me that one time I walked in on them in a bathroom while Roman was making the lines neat with his credit card. "Ah, so that's what that was?"
Peter's eyes widened; "... What?"
"The stuff you two were always snorting," Shrugging, I watched the look on his face distort into one of shock. It hit me that he hadn't known the true depths of how obsessed I used to be with Roman, and that I needed to get myself together before I revealed anything further damning; "Peter, I have a little something called vision. And a brain, for that matter. You guys aren't slick."
"We... aren't?"
It was impossible not to laugh, and I reached forward to nudge his shoulder. "Not in the least," To be honest, I was relieved to hear that Roman was coming off drugs and that my ridiculous upir-suspicions had been untrue. Maybe I could finally put all of that behind me and return the stupid book?
... Please. I was afraid I was going crazy.
He scoffed, moving away to continue sweeping the floors with a grumpy look on his face; "Anyway. That's the only explanation I have for you concerning what's up with him, but it's only an assumption. Maybe you should take a step back and let him come to you when he's done freaking out?" Peter glanced at me, almost as though he was plotting something. "Actually... I think I have the perfect thing to take your mind off this."
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
I regretted it the second I said yes, and I regretted it even more right now.
I had never been the biggest fan of parties, mostly because I was used to constantly getting smacked in the face with the truth that Roman was a bit of a whore (an understatement). So as I stood on the front porch with Peter later that night, surrounded by his friends as I listened to them talk about football (I wasn't paying attention, so I wasn't actually sure of the subject), I couldn't help but feel that same dread as before. I knew that Roman was my boyfriend now, that he wasn't upstairs with some random girl at this party, but the smell of alcohol yanked me right back to the memories. Actually, he wasn't even here at all.
Clutching the empty can of my finished drink, I gently yanked at the hem of Peter's sweater to catch his attention. "This isn't helping," I mumbled, meeting his big, brown eyes. "I feel bad being at this party without Roman... If he finds out, he's going to think I'm here to cheat on him or something. He's insane like that."
Peter sighed, rolling his eyes as he pulled me aside from the group. "Look, you need to relax, okay? I have it all under control,"
"You... what?"
His mouth pulled into a straight line, realizing he had said too much. Again. "Remember what I said about Roman not being here?"
Oh no. Peter had watched too many rom-coms. "For fuck's sake," I breathed, feeling my heart speed up. "Please don't say you told the both of us to come here?"
As annoying as the situation already was, Peter only made it worse by grinning in my face. He shrugged, brushing the severity off; "Last time I saw him, he was playing beer-pong,"
I was two seconds away from wrapping my fingers around Peter's neck and strangling him to death. "So Roman is running around this party drunk, and maybe also high on coke again while he's ignoring me?" Now, I was even closer to ripping my hair out of my follicles; "Oh, what an amazing idea this was, Peter! What a genius you are, this is just fantastic!"
Peter huffed, placing a condescending hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. "He's not high, okay? Just go find him, preferably before he falls over in the pool. I've let him marinade for long enough."
I grimaced-- "Marinade?" I needed to learn to stop trying to decrypt whatever Peter was saying. It never made sense, anyway. "First of all, fuck you. And second..." I took a deep breath, realizing what I was about to do; "... Wish me luck."
My head started pounding to the same rhythm as the song blasting through the speakers when I made my way inside and waded through the crowd. I hated that I was in this situation in the first place, hated that I hadn't spoken to my boyfriend in about twenty-four hours, but most of all...
I hated Roman Godfrey.
I hated the way he made me feel, hated how crazy I had become in my pursuit of him, hated, hated, hated him. However, amid my rage storm, I got a whiff of the scent of cinnamon cigarettes-- that brought me out of the inferno. I could recognize that, mixed with Roman's cologne, anywhere. I instinctively turned, realizing I had passed by the door to the kitchen, and I could be sure my eyes nor sense of smell were deceiving me as I now stood frozen, staring up at my boyfriend's broad shoulders. 
Roman's back was turned to me, but I could see that he was playing another round of beer-pong with a couple of friends scattered around the table. He hadn't noticed me, and I made sure he wouldn't. Still, the one person that caught my eye, was the girl by the counter next to where Roman was standing. I hid my body around the corner, peeking in past the door to catch another glimpse of the girl--
Fuck. It was Jessica. The girl Roman had flirted with to make me jealous the same day I told Letha I had feelings for him. Everything about her made me sick; the way she was dangling her long legs off the counter, staring up at him with literal hearts in her eyes, and how she twirled her blonde hair around her pinky as she tried to catch his attention with multiple calls of his name.
Roman seemed calm, unbothered, until he finally acknowledged her with an annoyed hum. It was only when he turned to face her, having just finished his turn in the game, that I saw that he was now pulling a cigarette out of his signature red box. I let out a shaky sigh of relief as I spotted my hair ties still hanging around his wrist, but I didn't get much time with my comfort before Jessica spoke up. 
Her voice was so painfully nasal; "So are you really seeing her?"
Roman's brows drew together as he balanced a cigarette between his slender fingers. God, how I missed his hands on me. "Who?"
Jessica said my name, followed by a pout. "If it's true, then that's really fucking unexpected. I have English lit with her, and she doesn't seem like your type,"
Had I not been desperate to hear Roman's answer, I would've grabbed the nearby lamp and bashed her head in-- alcohol didn't seem to have the best effect on my thoughts tonight. Still, Roman didn't react much, now patting down his pockets for his lighter. "Yeah, I'm seeing her. She's my girl,"
She's my girl. It echoed in my head over and over. My girl.
However, Jessica didn't seem too pleased with this revelation. She rolled her eyes, letting go of her hair; "She's not even a cheerleader," 
"And? I'm tired of you lot," 
"Romie, come on!" The nickname nearly made me puke in my mouth, effectively wiping my smile off my face. I watched as Jessica proceeded to reach out and put a hand on his arm, pursing her lips like a dumb fucking bimbo-- "I don't think a girl like that could handle you... sexually."
Ew! I wanted to slam my head against the door. Would that relieve the pain of hearing this conversation?
But Jessica continued; "Everyone knows she's been crazy about you for some time now. Everyone except Letha knew, actually, but that girl is more gullible than a lamb! But you must be aware that your girlfriend thinks you walk on water? You're dating the epitome of your fucking stalker. But does that turn you on, maybe?"
Roman blinked twice before brushing Jessica's hand off with a silent scoff (finally). He found his lighter in his back pocket, lighting his cigarette as he rolled his eyes. "Shut your filthy whore mouth," he grumbled, cig sitting between his lips. When he was done lighting it, he held the lighter out dangerously close to Jessica's face-- "I'll burn your disgusting extensions right off."
She didn't seem too phased by it on the outside, but I could see the slight tremble in her hands as she now gripped the counter. Was this how Roman talked to other girls? How had I not noticed this before? "No need," Jessica said, gulping. "I can see you're taking her... seriously." She cleared her throat, letting out a shaky breath as Roman moved away. Jessica didn't have much time with her usual clean air before he blew the smoke from his cigarette in her face, and she quickly fell into a coughing fit.
I realized what I was watching when Roman smiled with evil glee at the sight of her pain. The version of Roman he used to be. It felt like I had opened a portal back to two months ago, before anything between us had happened and he was running around stabbing people with needles to get a rush.
"Of course I'm taking her seriously," Roman said, letting the cigarette rest between his lips. "I actually like her this time, unlike anything I've ever felt for you. She's sweet, and you're like... maggots crawling out from the depths of hell compared to her."
... Ouf. 
Jessica didn't seem to be taking this very well. Her blue eyes hardened, traces of tears welling up in her eyes as her grip on the counter tightened to the point where her knuckles started to whiten-- "You're lovely tonight, as always," she mumbled, hurt. Her voice grew bitter; "But where is your girl, then? Did you leave her at home to come here alone? 
Roman exhaled the smoke through his nose with one quick breath, turning to his friends when they called his name. He was thrown the beer-pong ball, and he effectively ignored Jessica's questions to play his turn in the game.
His lack of answers seemed to give her hope that he might stray. Jessica sat forward on the counter, drying any traces of welled-up tears as she lit up. "Oh, Romie," she purred-- I nearly threw up in my mouth again. "It's nice to see you don't change."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Roman turned to her, brows drawn together. 
Jessica sighed, once again reaching out to rest her hand on his bicep. The worst part was when she gave it a little squeeze and her eyes locked on him-- fuck. "One girl will never be enough for you. You're aware of that, right?" She moved further to the edge of the counter (could she not fall off already?), batting her lashes; "If you're here tonight because you're not satisfied, I know a few ways to... satisfy you."
That was it. This was sickening. Had I not been so nervous to hear Roman's response, I would've lunged forward and slammed her empty head down to the floor. However, I could only press my body against the wall I was hiding behind, listening to the dampening of my breath as my heart thumped harshly against my ribs-- this was torture. This was complete and utter torture. 
I'm waiting for you unbearably.
Unbearably. 
This was unbearable.
It felt as though my chest was caving in on itself, threatening to make me a ball of nothing again, until Roman finally moved; gripping Jessica's hand with two fingers, he removed her off of him as though he was disgusted to even be touching her. "Are you maybe a little hard of hearing? Perhaps you hit your head really hard when you were younger, I have no idea, but I'll make it nice and comprehensible for you, okay?" He exhaled another cloud of smoke, fogging up Jessica's face as he leaned in dangerously close, lowering his voice as he spoke; "I don't want you or your cheerleaders, and I never will again. Never."
I was two seconds away from fainting out of sheer happiness-- my cheeks reddened. This was everything I had ever hoped to hear from him, and my anxieties floated out of my body with my next sigh of relief. I was ready to step into the kitchen and save Roman from this situation, hoping he'd be happy to see me now that he'd had this conversation about his feelings for me, but my plans were abruptly stopped when I heard a familiar voice call out my name.
My anxiety zapped itself right back into me as I froze to my spot, waiting for the wall to swallow me whole, never to be seen again. No, no, no!
I could only watch as Daniel approached me, giddy as ever with a beer in his hand. Were the Gods above playing tricks on me, perhaps? It was clear that he was drunk, and he tried to get his blonde hair out of his eyes repeatedly as he now stood before me, a broad grin on his face. "Well, don't you look nice," 
Why was he speaking so loudly? I was afraid Roman would hear and come out to check if his suspicions were correct. "Thanks," I mumbled, anxiously wavering back and forth on my feet as I pondered whether to flee or not. "Look, Daniel, you shouldn't--"
"What, talk to you?" He leaned down a little, his mood immediately shifting as he said my name once more like venom. It was clear in his eyes that he had come up to me with an argument in mind. "Don't tell me the rumours are true and you're actually with that guy?" 
Oh, how little I wanted to have this conversation. I so desperately didn't want to. Not with Roman at hearing distance. "Yeah, I am,"
Daniel snorted, rolling his eyes as he pulled back with a pretentious chuckle. With the way he was swaying, I could see that he'd had at least five beers or so. It explained the disgusting ramble of words that ensued; "Shit... Didn't think you were brainless like that. You're just a dumb fucking slut just like the rest of them, aren't you? Can't believe I ever thought you were different... Nice guys truly finish last, don't they?" 
Nice? I grimaced. Did this guy genuinely think he was nice? I was shocked to realize I even thought so of him at one point. My lips parted in shock; I hadn't heard him talk like this before. This was nauseating. Still, I knew I had to snap back-- I was about to speak up, protect myself unlike how I had handled myself during the whole Letha-mess, but I didn't get a chance to. 
I didn't even have to look to know who was now standing in the door to the kitchen, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. Roman's eyes narrowed, locking in on Daniel's with a chilling look; "What did you just say to her?" he said, voice low, dangerous.
Daniel's smirk was immediately wiped off his face. "Fuck-- Fuck off, Godfrey. This is none of your business," 
"None of my business?" Roman echoed, tilting his head to the side as he feigned confusion. "Nah, that's not how this is gonna go down." He stepped away from the door, nearing Daniel with threatening steps. "You get a little drunk, and suddenly forget you fucking crumble at the sight of me? You're shaking, Goldman, but you have balls enough to insult my girl?" 
Now that Roman had pointed it out, I immediately saw it. Daniel's hand had a slight tremble as he clutched the can of beer harder with his next words; "You know she could do so much better than you, right?"
I held my breath, watching Roman's every movement. At this point, I was scared Daniel had hit too big of a homerun on that insult. 
I wondered when Roman would-- oh, there it was. With one last step forward, he managed to yank Daniel forward with a choking grip around the collar of his shirt. I felt my breath escape me with a gasp, unsure whether to intervene or not. "Roman, don't!--"
It was too late. Roman wasn't hearing me. Selective hearing. "If you wanna go, Goldman, then we're gonna go!" he raged, tightening his grip as he yanked Daniel forward like a ragdoll. "Don't be a fucking pussy, fight me if you're so keen on walking around with a black eye!"
I was both mortified and scared as I watched Daniel's face turn a peculiar shade of purple. I had never seen such a prominent look of fear in my life. His hands were clawing at Roman's as he sputtered incoherent squeaks, and after five seconds too long, Daniel was let out of the death grip. It took even less time for him to sprint out of our sight. 
Roman turned to me, brows still drawn together in fury. He was catching his breath, and he was not yet out of fight mode when he practically barked at me; "And since when have you been at this stupid party?!" 
"Ask Peter!" I squeaked. "It was his plan, all of it! He wanted us to talk!" Watching the confusion spread in Roman's green eyes, I cleared my throat before I continued; "Actually, I want us to talk as well... Could we please just?--"
Within a split second, he was gone. Gone. I stood by the wall, lips parting in complete and utter confusion-- how had he managed to disappear like that? Run off like that? Suddenly, my mind shot in a passage from The Avoidable Vampirism;
The classic traits of a upir:
Enhanced strength
Heightened senses
Mesmerization
Unnatural speed
-- No, stop it! I had to physically smack my head to snap out of it this time. Roman wasn't a fucking upir, he was just in withdrawal as Peter said! 
... Right?
The alcohol was certainly not helping my state right now.
As I stood glued to the wall like the biggest wallflower known to man, I pondered the question that had haunted me all day; why was Roman so scared to talk to me? After I had heard how he spoke of me to Jessica, and how he had just called me his girl to Daniel along with the whole fight for my honour, it surely couldn't be a question of his feelings towards me?
This seemed to be an evening of many flashbacks; Letha's words were suddenly ringing in my ears-- "It usually helps to dig into what set him off. And then, when you think you have the answer, rip it apart and look through the pieces,"
... Fine. Let's start.
What had set him off? It was clearly that I didn't want to sleep with him last night, right?
Okay-- Now I had to rip it apart and look through the pieces.
"Aren't you breaking up with me?" he'd asked earlier today. Roman seemed genuinely confused that I wasn't there to dump him. Had he really expected me to discard of him so quickly over a simple miscommunication? 
Then it hit me that Roman might be crazy enough to have avoided me all along because he thought the next conversation would be the one where I'd finish the job. 
With a loud groan, I started my search around the party. Idiot! I was going to find this man no matter what. If I had to pin him down and scream some sense into him, so be it.
He wasn't downstairs— I could exclude that after a quick swipe of the floor. I somehow managed to make my way through the dense crowd on the stairs, now checking every room. To be honest, I was terrified of walking in on something I didn't want to see, but a tiny part of me thought it might even be good for me to see just a snippet-- I didn't know much about real sex, anyway. Still, I let out a relieved sigh when I scoured all the rooms without having violated my vision. 
But my relief didn't last long. I allowed my shoulders to slump as I came to a halt, realizing I had circled the upper floor with no trace of him. The deafening music was starting to hurt my ears, and I was about to cover them when I suddenly heard a loud bang coming from the closet to my right followed by a breathy, angry shit. 
Oh my. Gotcha. I approached the door with careful steps, holding back a beaming smile as I knocked twice; "Roman...?"
I heard him shuffling around, a short groan following; "... Nope," 
It took a lot of concentration to not burst out into a fit of laughter. It felt as though all my anger left my body, unable to concentrate on anything other than how ridiculously cute he was when he was drunk like this. "Can I come in?"
"... That's what he said,"
"Come in? I think you might've gotten it a little twisted,"
I could almost hear him rolling his eyes; "Who are you to argue, virgin?"
Enough was enough. With a small creak, I opened the door to the closet--
Oh.
This was certainly not the sight I expected to see. Roman's green eyes immediately found mine, big with embarrassment. There he was, splayed out on the floor of the tiny closet with a hot pink crop top on his head. I assumed it had landed on him after he fell over, and I tried to take a mental image for later amusement. 
I was about to laugh-- However, as I closed the door behind me and stared down at Roman's flushed face, almost the same colour as the ridiculous pink crop top, I just melted. Easy as that. All the pent-up anger, all the frustration I wanted to take out on him, it all liquified into molten lava and became one with the earth.
What a mess he was. What an absolute, utter mess. Roman's green eyes were big, huge even, as he stared up at me, his breath coming out in small, ragged heaves. He looked terrified of my next words, like he was bracing for a good verbal beating--
I crouched down, making space between his long legs that practically took up the whole closet. With careful movements, I pulled the crop top off his head and cupped his pretty face; "Rome," I cooed. "You thought I was going to break up with you?"
It felt like I was talking to a child. I was aware I risked Roman exploding on me for taking that tone with him, but I figured he was too drunk to really sense it. "Yeah," he breathed, keening against my touch. "Makes sense that you'd want to."
Fuck, he was unbearably cute, like a lost little puppy. "No, it doesn't," I murmured. Why was it so hard for him to understand? "I'm not breaking up with you. Is that why you've been avoiding me today? Were you worried I was going to do that?"
Almost like a child, Roman nodded. "I just... don't want to lose you. But I fucked up again," he whispered, practically pouting. "I was so mean. Last night and today."
I stroked my thumb over his cheek, watching his response to my attempts at comfort. Something told me he hadn't been held like this before. "Roman... You're not losing me any time soon, and you were obviously a little hurt too. I guess it's a... vulnerable thing to initiate. You're allowed to feel what you feel,"
"But it was wrong,"
"What was?"
"My feelings," he mumbled. "It's just-- I'm not used to caring about a girl like this. Previously, if I didn't get my way, I could leave with no repercussions. But this time, it hit me about ten minutes later on the highway that this was you and not some random girl. You. And I was just so consumed with the urge to... ugh, I don't want to say it out loud, but you know. It gets unbearable at times. I haven't wanted anyone like this before, I just don't know how the fuck to behave!"
I was sure my cheeks were burning. Holy fuck. "Ah... I see," My knees got tired from crouching, so I sat down on the little free space left on the floor. "Look, your feelings aren't wrong. They never are. Your feelings are your feelings. But what I don't get is that I told you I wasn't up for... sex simply because my parents were on the other side of the wall. I would totally be up for it if they weren't. Did you not register that, maybe?"
"I don't know, but... it's not really about the sex. I guess it got me wondering whether you're just a little shy, or if you secretly don't want to be with me anymore," Roman took my hands into his before his gaze shied away. His voice lowered into a barely audible whisper as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the nearby wall; "You didn't once say you wanted me too. I guess I just concluded you didn't want me at all."
I fought the instinct to freeze. I saw his point, recognized his anxiety (and severe attachment issues), yet I needed to point out one very simple truth;  "But... I'm crazy about you. You know I want you,"
"No, I don't," he breathed. "You make me feel like a fucking rapist."
"A... What?!" I gave his hands a harsh squeeze-- "Roman, what are even you saying?"
He scoffed, eyeing me with his head still leaning against the wall. Hiccuping from all the alcohol, he spoke; "I'm always on you like a fucking dog in heat. You never initiate, and I'm constantly worrying whether I'm taking advantage or not. And to make that clear, that's not what I want to do,"
All of this was beyond shocking to hear. Was this maybe also the supposed withdrawal speaking? "Rome, you're not taking advantage. Not at all! I'm just... shy, I guess?" I brought one of his hands up to my mouth, pressing my lips against his knuckles. "I never thought you needed to hear me say it too. I'm sorry."
Surprisingly, Roman pouted-- "Say it, then," he whined. Had he been standing, I was sure he'd stomp his foot like a toddler.
I couldn't help but smile. I liked whiny-drunk Roman. "Say what, Rome?"
"Spit it out,"
"Would you stop running away from me then?"
"... Yes,"
I took a deep breath, suppressing a nervous giggle. Roman's green eyes drilled into me, holding me still as I tried to find the courage to say it to his face. It was nearly impossible, and I felt my cheeks flush a rather peculiar shade of pink, similar to Roman's alcohol-flush. And also the hot pink crop top. I was definitely stealing that one.
I let go of Roman's hands, crawling over to straddle his lap. My arms draped around his neck, and he shifted as he looked up at me with those gorgeous, green eyes of his. My Roman. "You already know I'm crazy about you,"
"Yeah, you tree-carving freak," 
"Hey!" Now, it was impossible not to laugh. Thankfully, he laughed with me. "But sure, I'll take it. I carved our initials into a tree, and I'd do it all over again. And you know why?"
Roman's eyes practically sparkled; "Why?"
I lowered my face to hover right above his, feeling his hot breath against my parted lips. "Because I crave you. Carnally," I whispered, watching his pupils rapidly widen. "What am I if not yours? Yours to take, yours to claim, yours to... fuck."
Roman's signature smirk was back, shinier than ever. "Now, now, don't be shy with it," he purred, his arms snaking around my waist to pull me flush against him. "Say more."
Fucking hell. There was certainly no space to hold back any longer. "Yeah, you want more?" I had to bite back a smirk of my own. "Don't be a fucking brat, then. Kiss me if you do."
Roman's eyes widened, not expecting me to say anything remotely close to that. Still, his lips parted as his smirk morphed into a blinding grin. With one smooth move, he ran one hand up into my hair, pulling me in for the shortest, sweetest kiss known to man. "I'm impatient," he said. "Go on."
"Brat," It felt nice to finally say that out loud. From the first time I had a proper conversation with him, that word had been stuck in my mind. 
Roman rolled his eyes, letting me laugh into the needy kiss that followed. It didn't take long before I melted, relishing in the soft pillows of his lips against mine, the feeling I had longed for ever since he stormed off my roof last night. "I want you," I said, mouthing my words into the kiss. "So bad. So, so bad."
Roman moaned-- "More,"
My hands went up into his hair, fingers reaching for the tips of his dark locks to press him further against me as the kiss deepened. I had never felt this desperate before in my life. Still, I somehow found the strength to pull away; I got an idea. "No. We're playing a little game first,"
Roman groaned, glaring at me as he rested his head against the wall. "For fuck's sake," he mumbled. "Now?"
"Now," I placed my hands on his chest, unable to hold my laugh. My little idea was genius. "Have you noticed where we are?"
"... At a party?"
"Where?"
"In a closet?--" Roman's words came to a halt as his eyes widened, and a knowing grin spread across his plush lips. "Oh my."
I hummed, pressing my fingers into his chest. Right now, I was sure I had adopted the classic Roman-smirk; "Up for a round of seven minutes in heaven?"
"... Isn't it a little blasphemous to play without the bottle?" Roman proceeded to laugh, rubbing circles into my thighs. "Actually, fuck yeah. I’m up for it.”
"Seven minutes," I purred, grabbing my phone and putting on a timer. "You once said that seven minutes with you were enough to show everything I needed to know about being with you in that way..." 
To be honest, I had no idea what had come over me. Was it perhaps the alcohol? But the intrigue shimmering in Roman's keen eyes told me all I needed to know-- I watched his pupils expand as the hands I had rested against his chest started traveling down his body. And Jessica thought I couldn't handle him sexually? Hah! "It seems it's my turn to show how it would be with me, no?" 
Roman's lips parted, staring up at me in disbelief; "If you're just teasing me now, I'm going to die on the spot. I swear. My death will be on your hands,"
I could only laugh, biting down on my lip to lower my voice. "Don't you dare," I said, slowly reaching for the clasp of his belt. 
Watching the widening of Roman's big, green eyes never failed to amuse me, especially not now. "Baby," he breathed, his lips curving into a smile. "Don't fuck with me, I swear--"
"Am not," After unbuckling Roman's belt, I decided to tease him by trailing my hands away from the zip of his pants, my fingers ghosting over his hard-on. It seemed the excitement was getting to him already, and to my surprise, I could feel him hardening beneath my palms. 
The loud music was so far away now, just as everything else was-- My mind was even further away, possibly residing on the planet Neptune, because how the hell had I managed to convince myself I knew how to do this? 
Fuck it-- it can't be that hard, right?
Certainly not harder than Roman was now, anyway. 
This was an enigma to me, all of it. I could only go off instinct; and just as I was about to slide my hand beneath the band of his boxers, Roman grabbed my hand. "Hold on," he breathed, bringing my palm to his lips. "Step one is to never go anywhere dry." His green eyes locked on mine, not breaking eye contact as he placed several wet kisses against my palm, slicking it. Shivers ran down my spine as I felt his tongue swipe along my skin, because fuck, this was intense-- my breath hitched. Roman's soft laugh rang in my ears as he let go of my hand, giving back the control. 
Fuck. My heart was pounding. Were my hands shaking? I had no idea-- it felt as though I had blacked out for a few seconds, and when Roman pulled me into a heated kiss and brought me back to my senses, my fingers were gently brushing against the hard tip of his cock. 
I could feel Roman's breath hitch just slightly against my lips, and it immediately made my cheeks burn. What the fuck was I doing? I so desperately hoped no one would walk in on us like this, me straddling him with his dick in my hand. That would certainly only taint my reputation further-- no, actually, fuck that. I wanted to stay connected like this forever, Roman's soft lips moving against mine with a need I didn't remember in him. 
It took a lot of willpower to break the kiss even just for a second, but it was too damn fucking dark in this stupid closet. I watched as Roman's lashes fluttered, how his chest raised in heaving motions, how the vial of my blood rested against the peak of his sternum-- I decided to go for the wish to kiss him right there. 
Roman's skin was so unbelievably soft. There was no flavour to it as I swiped my tongue against his collarbone, not even a trace of alcohol from his perfume, and this was the moment it dawned on me that this might be my favourite place to kiss him. I didn't often have access, but when I did, I could feel the soft raise of his shoulders with his every breath-- and fuck, how I loved his shoulders. I finally wrapped my fingers around his length, deciding not to toy with him any longer. 
He let out a shaky breath just as I sucked down on his collarbone to leave a mark; Roman was long gone now. His head lolled to the side, his breath escaping him with a short huff. "Fuck," he whispered, bringing his hand up to twist into the nape of my neck, pulling me away from him to press the soft pillows of his mouth against mine in another hot, needy kiss.
This was certainly a big difference to the last time we had played this game. We had barely kissed properly, and our lips had only grazed each other compared to whatever this was. I couldn't believe how unbelievably scared I had been the first time.
I smiled into the kiss, remembering our first. 
Roman cursed against my lips, his hips bucking just slightly into my grip around his cock. With his free hand, he placed his on top of mine, guiding me to pick up my pace.
I realized my heart was almost thumping to the exact same pace as the music downstairs-- "Is this okay?" I whispered, relishing in the short breaths of pleasure spilling from his mouth.
Roman shot me a look, although it didn't look as intimidating as he probably intended; with his lids halfway closed, the hunger for me shone through. "You know damn well,"
It was impossible not to smile. God, I was so crazy about this man. "Rome?"
A hum.
I leaned in closer, pressing a sweet kiss against his ear; "I want you so bad," I whispered, feeling his breath hitch as I kissed down his jaw. "I need you to know that. Rome, I always want you." Never in a million years did I think I'd ever see him like this, panting beneath me, pre-cum spilling from the slit of his cock. Never in my wildest dreams. But he had driven me near mad with his stupidity these past twenty-four hours, so I had no problem bringing him down to the depths of vulnerability with me-- finally, we had switched places.
Roman's hands traveled up my thighs, giving my ass a proper squeeze as he groaned just slightly; "Want you too," he breathed, letting his head rest against the wall as I worked my digits around his length. His lips parted, his eyes shut as his lashes fluttered just slightly; "Always. Always want— hah, want you. You know me."
Had I not been so taken with the sheer beauty of him right now, I would've swooned. I was shocked I hadn't fainted from how hard my heart was beating, anyway. "I adore you, Rome. Do you know that?"
A small yeah was Roman's only reply, his head rolling back and forth, thighs clenching, cock twitching. He was close. His next words were rushed, quick; "Fuck, where do I...? Fuck--" 
"Don't think about it," I murmured, my free hand running gently through his hair. Slowly, I reached for the pink crop top nearby; this was my only solution at the moment. "Just enjoy."
Roman practically whimpered; "Shit, shit, gonna--"
I watched as he threw his head back, panting hard as he spilled into the top. I felt his warm cum running down the inside of it as I stroked him through his high. "Fuck, fuck--" Roman was rambling at this point, failing to steady his breath through it.
My lips parted, feeling as though I had bitten into the forbidden fruit. The image before me gave me a high, unlike anything I had ever had before. It was probably similar to the feeling Roman used to achieve through cocaine use. I took another quick mental snapshot, knowing this was a sight I wanted to keep for later-- only in case of emergencies, of course. I couldn't help but feel a little proud that I had figured out how to do this stuff to him.
Roman blinked twice, his mind slowly returning to his body. He laughed a little at the sight of the hot pink crop top, shaking his head. "Damn," he breathed. "I'm a little horrified I didn't last seven minutes."
Oh, silly boy-- "Nah, I'm glad you didn't. My hand would be cramping up," I leaned forward with a soft giggle, kissing the tip of Roman's nose as he let out a sigh of relief. "And I also proved my damn point."
He blinked up at me as I pulled away. "Which was...?"
The timer rung-- "Seven minutes are more than enough," 
"Right. That's my line," Roman tucked himself back into his jeans with a huff, laughing softly in a state of denial. "Definitely didn't expect this tonight... Good job." The corners of his mouth slowly curved upwards as he placed a sweet kiss against my cheek. "I'm just so damn glad we're not breaking up."
I had forgotten about that situation for a few minutes, and being reminded of it again was like being slapped out of a nap. "Of course we're not, Roman," I kissed the tip of his nose as I rolled up the crop top-- that felt wrong on all accounts. "If you get all manic about something like that again, please don't shut me out. I nearly went mad."
Roman's pupils dilated further as he reached for the vial of my blood around his neck, twirling it around his finger. "Yeah, we can't break up... Or else that poor tree would've been vandalized for nothing,"
I rolled my eyes. He was never going to let that go, was he? "Alright, that's enough," I mumbled, watching as Roman brought the vial to his lips to press a short kiss against my blood-- it felt odd but intimate. Was he maybe still a little drunk? "Let's get you home, okay? I'll drive your car." With shaky steps, I got up from his lap, bunching up the crop top in one hand. 
Roman hiccuped-- drunk. It was confirmed. "I don't want to," he whined. 
"Come on, Rome, we can't stay in this cramped up fucking closet all night!--"
"Well, what are you gonna do? Throw me over your shoulder and carry me downstairs?"
For fuck's sake. It was impossible not to laugh at that mental image. "We can't stay here any longer! Peter's gonna think we're fucking somewhere, and I certainly don't want to be known as the girl that has sex at parties!--"
"My mom is out of town," Roman said, effectively cutting me off. "Sleep over."
My eyes widened. I knew what that meant. Clutching the damp crop top in my hand, I felt the green of his gaze swallow me whole; "Come on. It'll be fun," Roman got up from the floor, tilting his head a little as he slowly inched forward, making my back hit the wall with the two only steps there were possible to take in this closet. He continued; "Nothing has to happen, but I just... I want to roll around in bed with you in the morning. No interruptions, no parents, nothing. Just us."
I was shocked I didn't become a puddle of mush on the floor. "Just us?"
"Just us," Roman breathed, leaning down to press a short kiss against my lips. But what came next was unexpected; "... And my pet tarantula."
"What?!"
Roman only laughed, his pupils widening with pleasure at the sight of my terror. Some things never change. "Just kidding, baby," he purred, placing a hand on the small of my back as he opened the closet door. And before I had the chance to properly step out of it, he leaned down to whisper against my ear; "It's actually a giant centipede. Lovely pet."
I nearly squirmed out of his grip, shivering. "Please tell me you're joking!" 
Seriously, when will I ever learn? Roman continued to laugh, waving to a few people who passed us by in the corridor as we walked down the hall. "Of course I am,"
"I'm not leaving with you if you have some creepy animal there, I swear!"
"Fine, fine!" He kissed the top of my head, and I felt him smile against my hair. "There are no scary animals there... Just me."
Before I had the opportunity to answer, Roman groaned loudly as he glanced at the crowded stairs when we approached, rolling his eyes. "Ugh, why do people always crowd the goddamn stairs?" He turned back to me; "I just need to find Peter and swipe my keys--"
"Why does he have your keys?"
"... I was threatening to jam them into the side of this guy's head earlier, but that's not important," Roman shot me a charming smile as though he hadn't just said that. "But just hold onto me, okay? I'll wade us through." 
So that's what I did; I clutched onto Roman's hand, feeling his long fingers wrapping around mine as he made way through the crowd, occasionally turning to greet a few people he knew. I was so damn ready to get to his place, to lie down on a bed, and get away from this loud music. Still, a part of me knew we wouldn't be able to stay away from each other tonight, and I felt my chest swell with warmth at the thought of what might happen. What would happen.
But just as I was finally relaxed again and the two of us almost made it down the stairs, I felt another hand on my shoulder the same second Roman turned away to say hi to a friend of his. I turned, gasping just slightly at the shock of a cold touch, and the rest of my breath followed as it dawned on me who I was facing. 
Letha's green eyes were wide, almost as though she had seen a ghost. For a second there, I thought she could read my mind and understand why I was clutching onto a damp crop top. It was still warm-- why was I finding that hot right now? God, I was going insane. But I knew that the sight of Roman and I together would never be a pleasant one for Letha, so I stared back at her with the same bewilderment-- why had she stopped me? 
Letha's following words were almost icy to the touch, hollow to the ear; "Was I right?" 
It felt as though my world stilled. Time stilled. Just for a second, I felt as though I could wade my free hand through the coldness of her phrase, and I could wave away the mirage. She was concerned, curious. Had she genuinely wanted to help me get through this fight with Roman? 
I realized that tonight might be a night of many firsts. My first handjob, my first... time (possibly), and my first step of forgiveness. "Yeah," I breathed. "You were. Thank you." 
Letha's face softened as a relieved sigh escaped her, nodding her head slowly. It had been a long time since the last time she had heard those words from me. "Any time," 
Had Roman not squeezed my hand, I was sure I'd continue standing there, just staring into the eyes of my previous best friend. They looked so, so similar-- Had Letha not been blonde, I would've mistaken them for siblings. Snapping out of it, I turned to my boyfriend who was too busy scowling at his cousin to notice how calm I was about meeting her. "Let's go," he mumbled, repressed jealousy dripping from his voice as another squeeze of my fingers ensued. 
"Yeah... Let's,"
(a/n: thank you so so much for reading!!! here's PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, if you're interested<333 mwah!!)
tagging those that seemed interested!!<333
@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx
@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt
@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani
@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu
@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog
@moochiester @zizuras @blackbluerose666 @rosecoloureddudez
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meanbossart · 2 days ago
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Hey, I was wondering if you had any starter tips for digital art? I'm a traditional artist and have been for years, but I was recently given a tablet and clip studio. I am having SUCH a hard time getting anything to look right: shaky lines, flat/too soft pieces, just an absolute childish mess every single time. I see all these gorgeous digital pieces and have NO IDEA how to get there.
Heya!
So, it's been a very very long time since I transitioned from traditional to digital art, but I DID do proper traditional for a few years; we're talking ink pens, color pencils, markers, watercolor, fancy papers, the works. I did some acrylic painting too but only monochrome (and before anyone asks, these works no longer exist so I can't share them) all that to say that I do have some experience with the former and definitely felt the learning curve when I changed to a tablet.
To get the unhelpful advice out of the way first: It's a different and unfamiliar medium, and there is probably nothing significant that you're "missing" about it except time and exploration. There are pillars to digital art just like there are in traditional art, but when it comes to personal process everyone has their quirks and habits - you gotta mess around and find what works for you. I suggest looking up tutorials and speedpaints on youtube even if you know all the basics or if the style you see doesn't appeal to you; just watching how others do their thing might help you figuring out how you would like to do yours!
Now, for the more practical advice:
-I don't know what kind of tablet you got, but assuming it's a non display, that's an extra hurdle you have to get over in developing the eye-hand coordination necessary to use it. This feels very alien at first but it shouldn't take longer than a few weeks to feel completely natural.
-On that note, if there is a significant size discrepancy between the tablet and the screen you are looking at, that might mess you up. Try adjusting the size of the CSP window so it fits the size of the actual drawing surface you are using more closely.
-Every drawing tablet's pen has pressure settings that can be tweaked to your liking, I for one always make it a little softer than the default.
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-BRUSH STABILIZATION! That's a setting every individual brush (and almost every tool, I believe) on CSP has. It does as advertised: stabilizes your brush strokes. A lot of people like this set between 8-20 depending on the brush, and it can make a huge difference to the way you draw.
It is usually always visible in the tool properties, but if not, you can toggle it on through the "sub tool details" menu by clicking the little wrench symbol on the bottom right.
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Hopefully this has been helpful at all. Good luck!
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rihnely · 3 days ago
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That’s what I’m saying, every path may be different but don’t sit around waiting for a man to rescue you. It could happen in theory yes, men have been a great asset to me financially and have rescued me through a lot but that was based on a mix luck, hypergamous skill, & beauty. Actually I was/am able to be successfully hypergamous due to a lot of what I learned on tumblr, but the downside of that was that out me at a man’s mercy because I depended on them. Regardless no one should be putting all their eggs in one basket. Even if you are being provided for, have a way for yourself, be able to provide for yourself when you need to so you never have to worry about anything regardless of your circumstances.
I will always be hypergamous an use my Youth, beauty, and Witt’s to be financially provided for by a man, but I see them as an “extra boost” to what I already have for myself now. For example. If I’m going to work and making a few thousand a month and a man wants to contribute by paying my bills or for cosmetic treatments. I will be saving at least one check. I will save my own money and spend his which helps me financially in the long run 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
A soft life requires HARD WORK!!!!
You should pamper and take care of yourselves. HOWEVER, You need more than a pretty face these days y'all to get ahead in life. You see women who are in business, law, and Healthcare. They had to bust their behinds to get where they are now. Endless nights staying up to studying, not worried about men 24/7, dreaming about what will be on the other side to motivate themselves. Some of y'all want to be babied. Yes, not every woman thinks the same and wants to be a rich housewife. How do you think women become rich housewives? Networking, Education, volunteering, Hobbies, etc.
Some of these girlies on tumblr are selling a fantasy and I'll let them have it but this is not a Wattpad fanfiction. WAKE UP and get up and do something!!!
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rowdyluv · 1 day ago
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DAY OUT
summary: in which ellen and y/n spend the day together shopping.
word count: 1.7k
warnings: use of y/n, insecurities that may be triggering,
notes: i am not proud of this part. heavily debating on re-writing it but wanted to get something out :)
© property of rowdyluv ; do not copy and re-upload as your own - anywhere. do not place my work inside AI codes, do not translate.
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The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over the quiet downtown streets. Inside the car, Y/n sat unusually quiet, her gaze lost in the reflection of passing buildings and people on the window. Her thoughts swirled like leaves in the autumn wind, each one heavier than the last. Each store they had visited had been a letdown, a sea of fabric and lace that seemed to mock her rather than offer a solution to her dilemma. She had hoped that dress shopping would be an exciting adventure, a bonding experience with Jack's mom, but it had turned into a tiresome quest with no end in sight.
Ellen, noticing the weight of her silence, offered a gentle, "You okay, sweetie?"
Y/n sighed, "I don't think I'm going to find anything. Nothing seems to look right on me."
Ellen, with a knowing smile, reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "You've got to be positive about it, darling. If you go in thinking that way it’s going to be even harder. You’ll be stuck on negativity."
"But it's true," Y/n protested, her voice barely above a whisper. "I've tried on so many dresses, and none of them looked right." She swallowed down the lump in her throat. “I knew if I wore any of those I would only embarrass Jack.”
Ellen's smile didn't falter. "You could wear a paper sack and Jack would still think you're the prettiest girl in the room," she said, her voice filled with the warmth of a mother's unconditional love. "Trust, my son is as smitten as a kitten with you. Has been from a young age. Learning that the two of you finally started dating was a celebration for Jim and I.” Ellen sighed.
Y/n felt guilty for lying to Ellen about her and Jack’s current relationship status but that was Jack’s provocative. If he wanted his family to be under the same impression as the public.
Ellen parked the car with a hopeful smile. "This is it," she said, pointing towards the last store on their list, a quaint little boutique nestled between a bakery and a bookstore. "I have a good feeling about this one."
Before they could even step out of the car, she turned to Y/n with a sparkle in her eyes. "Listen to me," she began, her voice filled with a gentle authority. "Jack loves you for who you are, not what you wear. But I know how much you want to look amazing for him, and I'm here to tell you that you do. In every dress you've tried on today, you've looked beautiful. It's all about finding the one that makes you feel like the beauty you are, okay honey?”
She nodded and offered up a small smile towards Ellen.
Ellen could see the doubt still lingering in her eyes, so she took a moment before they got out of the car to speak from the heart. "You know," she began, "Jack's always had a way of seeing the best in people. And you, my dear, are the best he's ever seen, even when you two were little. You're smart, kind, and you have a spark that lights up any room you walk into."
Her eyes searched Y/n's, hoping her words would resonate. "Now, I know you're feeling down about the dresses, but let's go in there with an open mind, yes?" She offered her hand and led Y/n to the storefront entrance, her own excitement for the search not waning. The bell above the door jingled sweetly as they entered the boutique, and the scent of fresh flowers and fabric softener greeted them.
The store was a treasure trove of gowns, each one more exquisite than the last. Y/n felt the weight of her own inadequacies lift as they were greeted by a kind saleswoman who offered them individualized help. As they explained what they were looking for, the woman led them through racks of dresses, holding up each one with a hopeful smile.
Y/n's eyes scanned the rows of dresses, each one seemingly more beautiful than the last, but none of them seemed to be 'the one'. She felt her hope dwindling with every step they took, every dress that was deemed 'not quite right'. The pressure to find the perfect dress for devils event grew heavier with each passing moment.
Ellen noticed her growing discouragement and took a deep breath, her eyes scanning the store with renewed determination. "Let's try this," she said, leading Y/n to a secluded rack at the back of the store. "These are the last ones we're looking at."
Y/n's eyes fell upon a dress that was unlike any she had seen that day. It was a stunning blend of elegance and boldness, with the top half in black that flowed into a fiery red at the bottom. It was as if the dress had been painted by the very emotions she was feeling - the uncertainty of black meeting the passion of red. The irony of it being Devils colors too playing on the back burner.
Her heart skipped a beat as she whispered to Ellen, "Look at that one," pointing to the mannequin that held the captivating dress.
Ellen followed her gaze and nodded approvingly. "Ah, that's a unique choice," she murmured. "Let's see if it's available in your size."
“That’s the only one actually.” The sales rep says, having overhead the conversation. “We only received two of them and never got any more of them. A young lady came in two days ago purchased the other one for a charity event.”
Defeat tumbles into Y/n like a freight train. The unlikely chance there would only be two and the other would be purchased for a charity event too.
“But if you’re wanting a red dress, look at this one.” The sales rep says happily.
Y/n’s eyes followed over to where the sales lady had moved to, and fell upon a simple yet elegant red midi dress. It was modest yet held an undeniable charm that called to her. She walked over to it and gently touched the fabric, feeling the softness of it beneath her fingertips.
"This one," she murmured to herself.
The sales rep handed Y/n the red dress with a knowing smile, as if she had read her mind. Y/n slipped into the dressing room, her heart racing as she pulled the garment over her head. The fabric was like a second skin, hugging her in all the right places, the silky softness a comforting embrace. As she turned to look in the mirror, she gasped.
The dress was a vision of understated beauty, with a neckline that whispered sophistication and a fit that accentuated her figure without revealing too much. The way the fabric fell around her, it was as if it had been designed just for her. Y/n felt a surge of hope, the kind that lights up a room after a storm.
It was surprisingly comfortable, not a single pinch or tug. It was like the universe had conspired to put this dress in her path, a beacon of light in the sea of frills and lace she had been navigating. She stepped out of the dressing room, her cheeks flushed with excitement.
Ellen's eyes widened as she took in the transformation. The young girl she watched grow up entered the dressing room timidly but exited with confidence that exuded from her body like none other.
"Oh, honey," she breathed, "you look absolutely stunning."
Y/n twirled around, watching the fabric dance around her legs, the dress was perfect it was so right and so her it had letting out a small giggle.
The dress was simple, a compliment to her, yet it had a certain charm to it that seemed to call out to all who looked at her. It truly was, as if the universe was pulling them to this boutique for this moment.
The sales rep, a petite woman with a sharp eye for fashion, clapped her hands together in delight. "It's like it was made for you," she exclaimed. "The way it hugs your curves and makes your skin glow, it's absolutely divine!"
Y/n couldn't help but beam at the reflection in the mirror. "It is," she murmured, still in awe. “I’m sorry I’m just excited because I didn’t get to do this in high school. I feel like this my senior year moment.” She smiled.
Ellen's eyes twinkled as she stepped closer to her, wrapping her in a warm hug. "You deserve every bit of this, and more," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Jack's going to be absolutely speechless."
She flushed at the thought of when Jack sees her in a red dress. Especially when she is repeatedly thinking about how he said ‘my girl looks good in red’ It may have been for show but it’s still something on repeat in her mind.
Y/n felt a warmth spread through her chest as she looks back at Ellen, the kind that comes from knowing you're loved and supported. She nodded, her eyes misting over. "Thank you, Ellen. For everything, for coming when my mom couldn’t, for being there when he left, for this."
Ellen squeezed her shoulder. "It's what we do for family, or hopefully our future family," she said simply, her voice thick with emotion and a smile as she hands the cashier a card.
“No wait! I can pay. Don’t do that.” Y/n argued searching her bag for her wallet.
Ellen gently took her hand and held it in hers. “Jack insisted. He wanted me to use his card for anything we buy you. And right now, this is what we are buying you.” She said with a firmness that didn’t allow room for argument.
Y/n felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as she looked at the red midi dress in the clothing bag. It was more than just a piece of clothing; it was a symbol of the love and support she had found in Jack's family, even when Jack had left for the league. "Thank you," she whispered again, her voice thick and trembling with emotion.
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niceonejames7 · 2 days ago
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fighting dogs & crying wolves
remus thinks you're oblivious to his condition despite your bias towards wolves. maybe you love wolves a bit more than he thinks.
part two for dogs or deers? or rats? (both can be read as standalones) (some parts may feel weird, though not anything major)
words: 1.9k
genre: fluff(?), lil bit angst, hurt/comfort, it's all happy ending
warnings: remus has self depreciating thoughts, mention of injuries
a/n: i imagine the end scene (these 1 , 2) very similar to the peter and gwen scene when he's in her bed injured because I'm kinda obsessed
...
Remus was tired today. The moon would greet him soon, their monthly encounter on the way. He has taken a habit of personifying his tormentor. To see the moon as just the moon seemed to torture him more. Your hands were on his face more than he could count. That's how it always is. He had learned quickly enough that you loved through your touches, through your actions. He finds it funny when you worry that they (the boys) don't know how much you love them, it's a silly question anyway, but it pains him to understand how much you love him. This time he doesn't have to personify his torment. 
The lights are harsh on his pages and he looks up to search for the switch, James knows his cue and gets up to change them. Remus smiles and James feels proud, it's a silly thing. 
You're sleeping, well you're trying to sleep, your head on a pillow that's laid over his legs. He had asked you to sleep on his lap, "I don't want to interrupt your reading." you had reasoned. 
Sirius opens the door rather loudly but settles down when he senses the quiet environment, his eyes darting to your sleeping figure.
He grimaces, "Sorry," a loud whisper, which only elicited an amused smile on your face.
Sirius wouldn't dare wake you up, but if he has already done half the damage, he is not giving up the chance of a cuddle.
He slowly climbs on the bed, pushes his head between the space of Remus' and his book and steals a kiss. 
Sirius smiles against his lips and Remus thinks of the moon again. He had been trying to do less of that lately, to cover his moments of happiness with a blanket of moonlight. Poetic, he thinks.
Sirius makes himself comfortable, his hands wrapped around your waist, impatient for you to be near him. You don't open your eyes to see who it is, it's very clear which one your boyfriends it will be.
He buries his face at the crook of your neck and you complain,
"Clingy."
Sirius whines and nuzzles further into his space before extracting himself to confront you,
"No."
You open one of your eyes, a teasing smile on your lips and of course he plants a kiss, how could he not, you looked so lovely in his arms. 
"You know what, why don't you tell me what your favourite animal is. I should know who I'm competing with."
Your eyes are closed again, but the smile on your lips is permanent.
"It's not a dog." you say in a matter-of-factly tone. Sirius rolls his eyes, "What is it then? A cat ?" James says, dramatising his tone when he says the word cat, like it could cause a scandal.
You sigh heavily and cast a mock remorseful look at Sirius, "No matter how many dog themed trinkets you bring me, it won't change my opinion. I'm sorry, okay?"
"And also, no, it isn't a cat. Though I do like them a lot." You truly ponder for a moment about what your favourite animal could be, but your mind comes up blank.
"I don't know honestly, I've never been much of an animal person."
Somehow, that statement feels too personal to Remus. It's silly, he thinks.
Sirius thinks of something, possibly something that Remus wouldn't like.
"What about wolves?"
A fraction of a second passes and a million things cross Remus' mind. He thinks how he's going to kill Sirius, he thinks how tired he is, he thinks how you're going to leave him now, and by proxy James and Sirius too. Because he unfortunately knew they would stick by his side. He thinks how much pain he will cause, just because he's this creature.
"I like wolves. Actually, I really like wolves. Did you know dogs and wolves belong in the same family? They're both canines."
Sirius' smile is too wide, he thinks. He suppresses it a little, enjoying your little ramble.
"I'm aware, darling." he says, his fingers slowly caressing Remus' thighs, a futile comforting gesture. Nothing could calm the erratic beating of his heart. 
"Maybe we can bond over that. We both like wolves, in our own way, and you can forgive me for not liking dogs."
Sirius wanted to take your face and pepper you with kisses. He wanted to laugh at how what you just said is probably true. You both do love a wolf, that is something you two bond over. 
"Do you remember learning about werewolves?" James speaks up after calming himself down for Remus' sake.
"Yeah, pretty cool stuff." You say casually, as much nonchalance as you can muster.
Remus holds back a scoff, "Cool? How is it cool?" 
"I dunno. Seems pretty cool. I'd like to know how it's like" you take a pause, your hands gesturing to explain, a pathetic attempt to calm your nerves, "how it's like to turn into an animal, or something of that sort, you know?"
"You could become an animagus." He says, his voice defensive. He doesn't know why. James casts a look at Remus, his nervous expression barely hidden, as often the case was with him.
"Yeah, but that's elective. I just wonder what it's like." Your voice goes quieter, sensing the tension in the air, you might have an idea on why it's present.
"You don't think it's strange?" His words are tentative, testing the waters.
"I'm sure it is. I don't understand why we have to be mean about it. Just seems like baseless prejudice." you're facing him now, a bit worried at his words. Your eyes searched his face, though he couldn't figure out what you wanted to find.
"They're pretty dangerous."
"Anyone can be dangerous, Rem. If they want to be. And wouldn't it unfair to cast someone as dangerous over something they can't control?" you ask. rhetorically, shaking your head as you get up to kiss him goodnight, another one to James before covering your face with your blanket, cozying yourself into Sirius. His gaze is still insistent on Remus. 
Remus' hands reach your head and he runs his long fingers through your hair, a slight hint of a smile present on his lips.
..
This would be one of the worst times Remus' would look back on. These past few months had become so easy, with his pack, his friends by his side, taming down the wolf. But he had been too much in his head this time. Not aware of his surroundings, his thoughts covered by you. 
He had gotten too far and Padfoot or Prongs couldn't reach him anymore, James had told him.
His scars were too visible, again. His eyelids felt heavy with pain. Madam Pomfrey had been generous with her potions, doing everything in her favor to heal him. It had worked, his scars had faded, not entirely gone, but they weren't so ugly anymore. They're not ugly Rem, your voice echoed in his mind. He smiles despite himself. These sentences had become sort of like automatic responses in his mind, James, Sirius and your words, one after the other to counter his misery.
It was early morning, and today there had been plans to go to Hogsmeade. Sirius had promised he would take care of the situation. Remus' always felt guilty when they would cover up his lies. But today was too much of an exhausting day to worry.
Maybe he'll tell you tomorrow, or later. Or you would be gone before he has a chance. Maybe that's the best option, he thinks, the last thing on his mind as he drifts to sleep. 
… 
He's awoken to a soft touch on his cheek, he dreads opening his eyes. Pomfrey is going to have to bandage him up this time, the wounds are too severe. He winces the second his muscles have to move,
"Oh no, I'm so sorry." His eyes fly open, his ears alert to the familiar voice.
"Shh, lay down." You push his shoulder gently to the bed, and hold up a bag, 
"I was already in Hogsmeade. Thought I'd bring over your favourites."
A bag full of chocolates. Remus smiles weakly even though his entire being is filled with fear. His eyes are watching every move of yours, how your fingers twitch when they're near him. If he didn't know you, he would misinterpret it as disgust, or annoyance, but he knew better. 
"But first, we have to dress you up." You say softly, your eyes smiling at him. It always felt like that, whenever you looked at him.
Your hands were tentative, too careful and gentle than needed. He was used to it, the pain. But he didn't say anything, just watched you figure it out, welcoming the gentle approach. 
As your hands apply the balm to his wounds, he audibly winces, which causes you to wince and pull your hands back. You look at him sorrowfully, "Did I hurt you too much?" He shakes his head no. He would have laughed at your question some other time, Not more than me, dove. That is, if he wasn't terrified. 
"You know," your voice is quiet, just above a whisper, "I'd really like to know what kind of dog you've been fighting, just about every month." your eyes flicker, a knowing sadness enveloping them. 
His eyes sombered. A wave of guilt and sadness covered them, a slight frown on his forehead, but his eyes never left yours.
She knows, Remus realises.
He doesn't know why he assumed you wouldn't. You're smart, perceptive, kind. He should have known why you didn't question their monthly disappearances. He should have known why your touches were more frequent around the full moons. 
He always brushed it off. Hopeful thinking. It must be a coincidence. He had hoped too much, too illogically. He had indulged his wishful thinking in hopes of not having to confront you, he supposed that is his fault.
He found himself more guilty of the fact that he had hid something from you, rather than you knowing the truth.
It was a surprising realisation, yet also not. 
He should have known, really. He should have told you himself. 
His hands raise to hold the side of your face, his touch a bit too harsh as he pulls you closer, his hands less in his control. His thumbs run across your damp cheeks, tears he had just noticed.
"I'm sorry." He whispers, his words a bit wobbly, unsure of his own voice. Your forehead rests against his, and you tilt your head to kiss him. He hesitated, just for a second, but pulled you back in when you tried to distance yourself.
The air is heavy with tension and unspoken revelations, "I don't care about your dog fights, Remus. You should know that."
Remus is grateful for the metaphor James had coined. He didn't know if he could handle the direct words, the intensity of the truth. He'll tell you every single detail, as long as it takes, as much as it scared him, or hurt him. Maybe he'll tell you tonight, or tomorrow, or maybe the day after. It doesn't really matter anyway. 
"And no more hiding in hospital when it hurts you too much." 
He nodded, repressing a smile at the dog metaphor.
"I'm beginning to think this dog and I are in an abusive relationship."
You laugh, and he's glad to hear the sound, his own mouth mimicking yours.
"I'll fight all your dogs, baby." You brush away his hair from his forehead to see him better, a small scar hidden by his hair revealing itself.
"I don't think Sirius will appreciate that."
You roll your eyes, "Who cares what he thinks."
"Oh, you have so much you don't know."
"What else is there to know?" You look at him questioningly. 
Remus chuckles and pulls you in to kiss you again,
"You will get all your answers, dove. I promise."
"But-"
"There are some things that that pretty little head of yours can't figure out."
"Huh-" You don't get to say much, because he shuts you up, his smiling lips on yours. 
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