#if i have at least ONE ten pull
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guys i think my wife missed me during my hiatus
bonus: my bio doesn’t lie these two love me as much as i love them-
#can rambles#it’s funny bc#i took a break for a while (months 💀)#bc my life has been really stressful this year#but no matter how long i’m gone the main thing that will never change#if i have at least ONE ten pull#arashi WILL be kicking people out of the way to come home to me#she would body slam the other characters off the screen im convinced#bc this has happened with at least three of her other cards LMFAOO#she just knows i need a win and by god im thankful 🫡#can loves arashi#can posts enstars
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ten caps per episode - Law and Order Criminal Intent - s01e12 - Crazy
Goren: Nobody's reasonable when they're in love. That's the whole point of it!
#gotta be one of my all time fave bobby quotes#yeah of course he's just saying whatever he needs to to rattle the bad guy and get him to talk#but i like to think he believes in the statement at least a little bit#of course just a little cause this guy was a crazy stalker murderer so yeah don't be THAT unreasonable in love lmao#but just#a little bit#this episode also treats us to a little bit of alex mini undercover op and pulling her gun on someone#oh i also love in the scene where they're with the judge and the bad guy is like (about bobby) DOES HE HAVE TO KEEP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT#lmaooo#off putting bobby is so fun#my stuff#law and order criminal intent#goren and eames#ten caps per episode#ten caps: loci#loci s01e12
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oh so i kinda confessed that i feel useless to my family but apparently i’m actually the cheerleader/clown/‘heart’ of the family who helps them get through things emotionally……. they didn’t say or even imply this but i think i’ve been slacking on that front
#after finding out i may have overblown the severity of the situation i was able to look at things a little more objectively#at least in terms of psychology so i could remind my dad that him crying in front of me for the first time in like ten years isn’t weakness#without breaking down again#we all had a good group hug it was nice#but when that happens my dog gets cares because she thinks it’s some sort of altercation lmao#money will still be tight but no significant sacrifices need to be made#can’t wait to actually do the volunteer work i said i would do for the animal shelter once it gets cooler#also the pool at my barely-a-job job is getting cleaned tomorrow so i’ll get to swim once more without clearing the filters myself#(well me and my dad…. i actually made a game of leaf diving for the extra sunken mulberry castings from the tree in the next yard#after we pulled a bunch of leaves out of the flapper thing and skimmed most of the leaves from the drain)#(I put a single chlorine tab in one of those floating things so after all of that it started flowing a lot better and looking cleaner)
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Saturday afternoon I ran into Gibernau in the paddock. "I heard that tomorrow HRC are having a press conference," he said. "That's right, just after the race," I replied. "You'll say you're staying at Honda, won't you?" he asked. "No, actually. I'll announce I'm moving to Yamaha," I answered. I saw a flash in his eyes. First astonishment, then happiness. I could tell he had done some quick thinking and figured that it would only be good for him. He reckoned that I wouldn't do much on a Yamaha. I could read it on his face, just as I later could read it in the faces of so many other people who doubted me and my choice.
Valentino Rossi in his 2005 autobiography, What if I had never tried it
#brr brr#//#sg15#vale's autobiography is unsurprisingly circumspect about the details of that relationship and how and why it deteriorated#but the little details we get are so interesting#vale always wanted to prove people wrong. endlessly aware of people's expectations of him. always willing to play with them to subvert them#literally he wanted to do 'call an ambulance but not for me' like that's one of his career go-to's. he loves being the comeback kid#it must be endlessly frustrating that he came so close to pulling off the greatest trick of them all and fell just a little bit short#i think you always have to be quite careful with him when you're talking about his 'desire to win' as if it's that straightforward or pure#of course he wants to win but it's also about what he's trying to SAY when he wins. what he's trying to do with it. what's the statement#it's what a lot of the celebrations are about at their core - sending a message. symbiotic relationship b/n victory + expressing identity#leaving to go to yamaha in 2004 was done with the full awareness that a title that year was unlikely. that it might take at least a year#if he stays at honda he sleepwalks to a title. but he just can't do it if he feels like the victory is being claimed + defined by others#ten is just a number. but when nobody thought you could claim it? then it's the most precious number of them all#//curst#//clt
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IM GOING TO THROW UP
#/POS /POS /POS#HONKAI LOVES ME AND I LOVE IT#THIS IS MY FIRST FUCKING TEN PULL AFTER BOOTHILL#TWO 5* IN ONE IS ALREADY INSANE BUT 3 IN 20 ARE YOU KIDDIIIIIIING#I have 110 saved still!!! What the Hell!!!#I’m gonna use them on Ruan Mei bc I’ve heard she’s a spectacular support#will update with how that goes!!#I’ll 100% get at least one more 5* tonight which is just fucking W I L D#We’ll just have to see if it’s Ruan Mei ^^#(I know I could get eidelons too but I don’t really care abt those tbh)
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certain qidian authors shld start a side hustle writing dnmei actually 🙂↕️
#男频不写男同还写什么 <- golden words to live by#*#fan xian/li chengze (qing yu nian):#written to be foils.. the mirror inverse of one another..the zhen baoyu to his jia baoyu#dislikes him on sight perhaps bc they r too similar souls#asks him not once but twice to bow out of the succession struggle bc if he does he promises to give him a lifetime of peace#“我许你一世平安” which in some contexts would be so romantic#begs him to live after his failed rebellion and of course lcz being who he is kills himself in front of him#更香的是他们还是同父异母的亲xiong dei😇#and bc u cant have enough hong lou meng references during their first meeting lcz’s delicate looks also remind him of lin daiyu..#and he wonders why he keeps thinking of him when he’s not even gayy (and i quote 好龙阳)#li huowang/zhuge yuan (dao gui yi xian):#his 白月光. his fleeting moment of respite in a truly horrific world#who sacrifices himself to save him from the powerful eldritch being after him#who he then strangles w his own two hands bc anyone who dies by his hands becomes part of his hallucinations so#at least he’ll still be with him in some capacity#hallucination!zgy tricks lhw in exchange for the survival of his country (所以T_T在渊子心里其实家国天下>>>🔥)#and feels so guilty abt it that he dissipates (perma death) leaving lhw to cry for three days straight at the bottom of a well#pulls himself together to fulfill zgy’s final wish of saving the people and when they ask his name he says zhuge yuan#builds a white jade buddha statue w/ zgy’s face for the ppl to worship#also he carries around a sword made from zgy’s spine and that brings him comfort#oh how could i ever forget pingxie (dmbj):#his lifetime in exchange for ten years of his innocence#“im a man with no past or future. if i disappeared from this world no one would notice” “at the very least i would notice”#“i’ve thought abt my connections to the world and it seems the only one i can find is you”#many such cases………..#if these were on jj literally吊打秒杀 the girlies (me) would EAT IT UPPP#QIDIAN YAOI📣📣📣📣
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good morning!! <333
#woo i got to the point where it's telling me the battle's about to start#there's still like two quests after this one but at least the battle will be the biggest hurdle#it should be easy to just run around and talk to people after that#also i think the new rafayel card comes out today??#i have like 30+ pulls (bc i didn't spend any on xavier's myths beside the free ten pull)#so maybe??#i know zayne's myths should be next so i really wanna save for him#but i also want the rafa card (such is life of having two favorites in a gacha game lol)#anyways#i hope today/tonight is good to you!! <3333#morning rambles
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So I saved up around 130 pulls for Regulus, heres what I got:
I won the 50/50 again!!! I’m really happy I won, Regulus has to be one of my favorite Reverse 1999 characters. I saved up a ton of mats for her and instantly got her to Insight 2 level 30. She’s also the first character to reach lvl 6 on resonance. Shes already doing a ton of damage, kind of a shame my Lilya can’t do as much but it’s fine I guess.
I also got Neceologist, would’ve preferred at least one X, but I like her so it’s ok. Currently planning on building her for harder content, I hear she helps teammates not die, so I’m not passing up on that. Overall, despite my disappointment in not getting X, I’m happy :)
#reverse 1999#reverse 1999 regulus#good lord I got just about everybody except the 5 star I actually want#It stings because at one point I got 3 five stars in one ten pull ;-;#At least I have regulus to balance it out#Also if anyone cares:#I don’t have the actual picture of the pull that got regulus because I was too excited#Whoops#i got her#:)
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so the family month login event gives us 500 crystals a day for 9 days,, which is 4,500 crystals in total
if they replaced these with linkstones that would literally be enough to get a summons hero at pity 🚶♀️🚶♀️
#lord of heroes#loh#everytime i criticize or make fun of the scarcity of the linkstones i feel more and more like a broken record#but like. i don't have any inherent problem with them adding more heroes through gacha#i just wish that we can get more opportunities for earning the shit you need to actually try to pull for them#like getting 500 linkstones in the mystic beast shop feels like A Lot but it's literally one ten pull#and most of the time you have to get REALLY LUCKY to get a summons hero in the frst pull#if it's 4500 linkstones to hit pity i should be getting at least 50+ of them in shit like the energetic efforts event and silent straits#getting 2-3 linkstones at the highest ranking tier in the straits almost feels insulting#the thing about the gacha is that i would rather have more of That than paid units because the game would be more F2P friendly#but what difference does it make if you're not giving players enough limkstones to actually get the gacha heroes????
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Just how big was Teng Xiao if Cirrus calls Jing Yuan a "lightweight"???
#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#I guess they don't mean it physically and more in countenance given the insults they direct to Jing Yuan#but that was my first thought lmao#I keep forgetting people here don't age so I always picture the masters old or at least like Gongshu aesthetically#so this line made me reconsider how Teng Xiao may have looked like#I always think of him‚ Fu Xuan's master and Huaiyan‚ for example‚ as old(ish) people#until the reminder of how they don't age hits me on the temple with a pan lol#The one time I saw Huaiyan art it took me a moment to place who that pretty man was because it wasn't anything like I pictured him#And then the idea that he could actually look like that even nowadays dawned on me like a punch. Same thing happened with Fu Xuan's master#Yet even after the punches I keep forgetting after two days and go on to think of them as rather old looking#only to be hit with the realisation again at some other time. Like right now xD#Super funny that he just pushes the fight on us. In line with his 'okay but why do I have to deal with this? This spark isn't even worth it#And then he pulls the 'if you lose you must answer one question without lies or tricks'. The same guy who can't be named in front of#the prisoner who collaborates with the interrogations of the Ten Lords Commission and that has a few free days yearly#This is so his way of doing things and god I love him so much for it#Odysseu.s-adjacent kind of character. A scoundrel truly in many regards‚ Fu Xuan was so right. I love him so. He should have been my fave 😔#Cirrus talked about chessboard‚ pieces and pawns. I love how Jing Yuan's opponents keep talking in chess metaphors#And how he manauvers conflict and his moves in a similar fashion yet how he draws a clear line between real conflict and a chess match#when asked if war is truly similar to a xiangqi game#Ahfksjkd I love him sooo much haha
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huh-
Was pulling for this handsome man the day his banner came out & almost had heart attack💀
Literally 10 pulls apart, never-seen kind of luck but unfortunately they didn’t come in the same 10 pull, what a lucky letdown😔🙏
Like wassup?
Needed to get this out there you don‘t miss that phenomenal chance often🪦💀
#genshin impact#wriothesley#keqing#gacha pulls#lucky-not-lucky#I would have had so much to brag about#hoyoverse#hoyolab#sayethnaysays#at least I‘m very happy with da new papa#two 5* in one ten pull??!?!
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seele gacha ending in some hours........
#maybe i should make a smol ten pull...... just one?#no koha she's quantum just like u silver/wolf! plus u don't even like her that much....... right?#at least i have a friend who has her at level 60 so i can use her in challenges as a support and stuff :]
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so... it's been a hot minute
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#i gotta refill the queue again#but more than anything#i've been grinding for primos on my main#and oh my god it's pain#all i have are miles-long story quests and the current event#i guess there are the one-time domains but (the ones in sumeru at least) take way too long to finish#i decided to pull for nilou actually#figured it'd be a good idea to have a simple bloom team so i can use my three bois in another team#so far i'm at 50-ish pity and i have every single 4-star on the banner#i've been getting hella 4-stars on this banner. like i got dori a third time and then two pulls later i got a collei const#i've also taken to doing one pull at a time instead of ten because i have zero patience lol#anyway. i guess nilou's not coming home early. sad#but hey if she doesn't come home at all#then at least i get a baizhu as a consolation prize#i also got xinyan from the standard banner#with both mika and xinyan,it seems like a sign to build a physical team in the future#i also got razor in my alt#fucking finally#a new character for once#right now he's stuck with debate club cuz i don't have any better claymores. but hopefully skyrider greatsword in the near future#(even though it doesn't match him visually in the fucking slightest,which really bugs me)
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refused to get my teeth pulled today bc the dr was an asshate PhD in mansplaining. he wouldn't even look me in the eye. every time he should've looked me in the eye he straight up closed his eyes and would talk to me with his eyes closed.
anytime i would bring up a concern or a complication i was worried about developing he'd be like 'yep so that's a complication that's possible.'
like yeah thats doing nothing for me bud i knew it was possible. it's why im fucking asking about it and asking if you think im personally more likely to experience it.
#bro was soo annoying#became so much more friendly when i said 'yeah im not going to get any teeth pulled today. it isnt necessary and it's not worth the risk'#suddenly it was all hey lets make jokes (((about my medical conditions))) and let me adopt a completely different tone thats singificantly#less stern and 'talking down on you' and more 'im just a normal person'#it was reassuring to actually be able to see my xrays#every single dentist ive had before refused to let me see them#refused.#including my current one who was oh so desperate to get money from his tooth removal referral#who regularly does not do fillings when youre there for fillings and instead does cleanings.#who every single time without fail intentionally fucks up the filling so you have to go back in a week later (ive gotten over 12 fillings#with him. every single one had at least one complication)#but no all of my wisdom teeth are straight in#not rubbing on any other teeth#theyre fine.#they cause no issues either.#im not gonna give two asshole dudes a paycheck and almost certainly cause nerve damage#one of my roots runs right through my nerve. one of the teeth thats completely emerged btw so theres no need to remove.#and thats my biggest cocern. like literally idc abut anything else but if i get nerve damage it's over#if i had permanent nerve damage i would kill myself. no joke.#and i told him thats my biggest concern and he just wrote me off entirely#noppppe not trusting you with my literal life when youre so blasé about my biggest concern#bad enough i sat in that office for over an hour just waiting for them and then waiting even longer bc they#made me watch a completely unrelated video about dental implant surgery for ten whole minutes#when i was getting wisdom tooth removal.
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caleb is 10 when he realizes that he's a physical touch fiend. the rush he gets when his hand lingers on top of your skin after playing with you is like no other. when he presses into your side while you're reading, his thoughts always circle around one topic: you, you, you. when you would run into his room after a nightmare, caleb was ready to swoop you in his arms and hold you until you fell asleep. every response towards you was involuntary.
caleb is 15 when he realizes that teasing 13-year-old you becomes irresistible. when he holds up your book, pencil, or some other item in the air, he watches as you jump up and down to try and grab it back. he's grown a lot in three years; if he had to estimate, he's a whole head taller than you now—20cm at least.
when you throw yourself onto him in an attempt to get your stuff back, he falters. you're laying against him on the couch, shuffling and moving up and down over his body, and caleb's breath hitches. you're so close and right there.
he's going insane. you can't even stand up for five seconds before caleb pulls you down against him once more, saying something about retaliation or revenge while tickling you to death.
caleb is 20 when he's about to leave for the DAA. there's an air of silence around the house. you've trapped yourself in your room more often, stressing over your senior finals. at least, that's what you've been telling him.
"i'm sorry caleb, i really need to study for this test."
"oh! i totally forgot about that project i had due tonight. shit, i'm sorry caleb. we'll have another movie night soon, okay?"
he doesn't know if you're actually this busy or if you're actually ignoring him. all he does know is that he misses you. he wonders about how he could miss someone who was in the room across from him. you were so close, but so far.
when you found out he was leaving—though you had a grin on your face while congratulating him—caleb knew you were devastated. he wondered if you were secretly mad at him for leaving.
two weeks before his departure, he practically forces you to be around him. he laid down next to you like before. he stroked your hair while you napped on the couch. he teased you and picked you up so you could hit him and grab him like you used to. he always chose to put his arm around you during a movie. he dragged you by the hand all around the neighborhood. he needed to all of that again, a thousand times more.
but at 24, it seems like there may have been a wedge between the two of you. calls are more and more infrequent.
"sorry, space signal sucks," he'd type.
"sorry, i was busy with training!" you'd reply, 2 days later.
he thinks that he would do anything to go back to before. he hasn't felt you in months. he sees you only twice a year.
it's hard. it was excruciating during the first few weeks. not only was he dealing with bootcamp, but he always found himself looking to his side, thinking you'd be there with him. at night, you were there, right next to him in bed.
he imagined that you would whisper words of reassurance in his ear. you'd hold onto him like you used to, when you had nightmares, and wrap your legs between his. there were days where we stroked his necklace, wishing that it was your hand instead. what he would give to have you next to him.
all he wants is to be able to feel you again. he chastises his 10-year-old self for taking you for granted back then. he wants to feel the apples of your cheeks when he caresses your face. once,—when he was 13 (you, 11)—he did that, and he thought you had a fever the way you warmed up. if he could, caleb would build a time machine to go back to that.
caleb is 25 when he is out of your life.
he thinks about you every day. it reminds him of when he was in bootcamp five years ago. it takes him back to when he was fifteen; you were on top of him, and his brain was fried to a crisp. caleb wonders if he's always been this way, because he can recall that at ten, you were still the only thing consuming his mind.
even during his arm repairs, you're there throughout all the pain.
when you discover his metal arm, all of caleb's instincts point to the door. he's spent so long trying to hide it from you: it's the constant long-sleeves (even though they made him incredibly uncomfortable), or making sure to only touch you with his left-hand (even though he wanted to pull you in with both hands).
but he stays. because it's you.
you freeze momentarily, listening to his writhes and moans of pain. caleb only notices you're there when he feels your hands brush his shoulder. he jolts back in surprise, and he sees you looming over him.
he stammers something, not even sure of what he said because you're here. you see him. you see it.
caleb's wanted this for so long. he wanted to see you again, in a state where you were both vulnerable, like old times. however, that moment probably wouldn't have come if he doesn't confess about this, so he relays the details.
you listen attentively, eyes wide with shock as caleb goes on. your hands wrap around his metal one, and he feels nothing. it's agonizing. he sees you examine him so gently. your fingers trace over bolts and plates of metal, lightly stroking up and down his arm. and caleb feels nothing.
how often has he dreamed of this? for you to be touching him again, so intimately and softly? he's stayed up countless nights wishing for you to be here, just so he can put his arms around you in a crushing embrace, only to be incapable of feeling you on one side of his body.
you pull away from his arm, asking if the fleet was accountable. when he doesn't say anything, he feels your weight lift off the bed and go towards the door.
whatever happens next is involuntary. he uses his flesh arm to pull you back, caging you between his forearm and his chest. there's no thought to it, no rationalization. it's just you and him. and he's been deprived of this for so long.
he breathes into the crevice of your neck, and he has half a mind to place his entire face there. he wants to breathe you in after being away from you for so long. no conversations, no contact, no touching. the last time he was this close to you was years ago. he needs this, caleb thinks.
the feel of you against his bare chest is something he cannot seem to describe. it's like he's his teenage (or even kid) self again, where he seems to short-circuit whenever he comes in contact with you. you're still small compared to him, but you fit perfectly like you did a decade ago.
he lets you go after he feels you trembling. you don't hesitate to place your hands on his waist and tackle him onto the bed. you catch him off-guard as you pin him beneath you, looking straight into his eyes.
"hold me," you plead, "with your right hand."
caleb lets out a shaky breath. there are voltages of electricity flowing through him—literally and figuratively. his skin sparks alive when he feels you. will it be the same with the metal arm?
slowly, caleb raises his mechanical arm. he wraps it around you, and feels the movement of your back shift downwards. you released a breath you didn't know you were holding. caleb held his.
you wait patiently before caleb starts running his metal hand up and down your back. you watch him exhale as he continues. you press your forehead on his, and you breathe in tandem with him.
caleb is 25 when he discovers that he loves physical touch.
wow like i didn't expect this to get so long... but like here we are???
i think we need to start embracing touch-starved caleb in all of our fics. this man hasn't seen the love of his life in YEARS (infrequently, anyway) so i think once she touches him (like INTIMATELY) for the first time in years he goes a little cray.
also sorry the ending was rushed i wanted to get this over with bc i intented this to be like 500 words but obviously it got way longer than that. what can i say... this freak has dug into my brain.
#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#lads caleb#lnds caleb#caleb lads#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#lads x reader#lnds x reader#caleb x reader#caleb x mc#lads caleb x reader#lnds caleb x reader#caleb has taken over my brain like he's rotting it
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trying to find inspiration on dressing masc in a stylish and fun way when ur fat can be so dire when ur a person who hates tucking in their shirt
#i also look like a fool in crop tops because they're all cut at the wrong spot for me. plus the big ol floppy booba makes it hang#kind of lame on me unless theres some elastic to pull it back in to the waist.#im fighting for my life out here. at least i can do my old standby of dressing like a slutty version of a movie jock fratboy#(tanktop big track jacket short shorts and long socks)#it doesnt help that i dont accessorize. i cant wear scarves or necklaces i'll suffocate to death somehow#i cant wear bracelets or watchers because they get in my way and i wash my hands too much#same with rings. belts never stay in the right place and i dont wear belted pants enough#and they also get in the way unless theyre made off cloth because i squat and pose like a jojo character#i can wear anklets tho. and the aforementioned fun socks. and i do look good in a hat#not a headband tho. i look like a buffoon in a head band because i have hair that goes directly up LOL#and the short hair does make hair accessories difficult. scrunchies are a no go. clips can work#i dont need glasses outside of sunglasses...i like either tiny round ones or huge square ones#huge round also works. as long as i look like a washed up rock star the sunglasses are good#i gotta figure this out.... i gotta go through my clothes too theres a bunch of busted shirts that i cant wear that i keep because im#too attached LOL i gotta figure out what i got that can fit together and how. and fight against my ten million sensory issues#the 20-something and their fight to look stylish..... the endless fight....
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