#if i get anymore involved ill fuck up everythjng more bc i cant mediate this properly when one person is emotionally blackmailing me and
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr’s reach among the 26-to-35-year-olds in the US is 11%.
Text
o|-< man
#sorry m about to spill my guts here again#but i did talk to my therapist abt reinitiating therapy but im put on a waitlist till i get another appt and like#past 2 days ive done ok holding everything back and today was going well bjt every single time i thjnk abt home#or going home i mean iiiii feel like throwing up#just. some of the most intense anxiety ive ever felt in my life i dont want to go home for the weekend bc im scared#and i feel sick. thinking about it but i cant avoid it or act differently bc i dont want to make thjngs worse and#staying neutral is the only thing i can do. but doing so has its own set of problems but#if i get anymore involved ill fuck up everythjng more bc i cant mediate this properly when one person is emotionally blackmailing me and#the other is Also doing the same in a way and promises to burn all our bridges and never look back for good#like shes serious#and i cant take sides here its impossible they Need to talk but ones so angry i idk whay she'll do (not violence or anythjng but. worse?)#sorry i keep coming on here to vent like again i. dont have sny other place without potentially being found#i just feel so sick and anxious and i feel like being a coward and running away but#its hard when my life n existence revolves around them i just fucking wish theyd talk like normal people#i have promises to keep and rships to rebuild and i just Cant abandon either of them i cant snd#i get accused of being two faced bc i cant speak my mind on the spot and you know whay thats fine#i stopped having mental breakdowns in the bathroom at least so thats nice FJSHDKS#but i need to talk to a therapist rright the hell now and sort out that like#vile empty but anxious feeling thats in my system almost Constantly unless i busy myself with fiction or something#aaaaaaaaaa AAAAAA god whatever im so.#all this isnt as bad as what folks go through but it also fucking feels like my life and everything ive worked towards is falling apart#so thats neat?#anyway ANYWAY SORRY this was ridiculously long n i am at work and got curbstomped suddenly#i dont want my family to talk to me i just want them to be like. Normal this weekend. just one weekend.#m going to lose it h#vent /#tee.xt#also will delete this later if i remember
2 notes
·
View notes