#if i get another cold im ending it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

killch0pdeluxe · 11 months ago

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sorry guys i keep getting sick which means i can barely focus on art. did you know i love winter btw

#if i get another cold im ending it #im so fr #☕️.txt

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bondagebimbo · 27 days ago

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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive #half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass #NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone #but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her #all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed #just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one #like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no #leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate #of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it #like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for #oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow #and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks #towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else #I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey #and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense #I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too #I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted #to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest #and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long #fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest #for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days

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swordmaid · 2 months ago

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thalia is so growing on me i love my rich woman who has Problems.. i gave her ice powers for like. the elsa vibes.

#but im like damn... gale...karlach....stay away from her... or else ur gonna explode in the end....#really a coin toss between those two and im gonna be sad at the end but that's the thalia experience 😭😭#also i dont think she's gonna save the tieflings... not bc she's evil but she generally doesn't care... and curing the tadpole is her utmos #priority. like she's already stressed with her chaotic magic killing her if she loses 50/50 now you have to add brain worms on top of that?#funny that shri'iia does more heroic deeds and she's like. the evil aligned chara #but thalia is generally very cold in a sense that she's always looking at the bigger picture and she's willing to sacrifice/disregard #who gets caught in the crossfire.. like that's just another responsibility she has to bear for Her. and she's very the type to sacrifice he #own happiness for her Duty vibe. like i think she's just learned how to be content with whatever she's left with.#also she's her father's heir bc she's the only child to her father's First Wife. and thalia get step siblings along the way but i think tha #grief of losing her mother / becoming an adult/handling adult affairs quickly made her jaded on a lot of stuff #and she feels like it's her responsibility to lead her noble house to higher pastures so her step siblings can live freely #like she's just taking all the work to herself - as the Heir. and that's what she was doing UNTIL she gets the wild magic #now suddenly she feels like she's cursed. and the fact that it's chaotic by nature and so dangerous..!! she can't stay in court or at home #over the fear of harming someone. and she's learnt that to get rid of a problem you always have to go to the root of it #hence why she's travelling around finding more info and source of the wild magic in hopes to cure herself from it #and she kind of put her life on Pause bc she believes she can't get anywhere with this curse. but its like gworl u put ur life on pause lon #before that.. anyway her end goal is that once she cures herself and she's normal again she'll prob marry some other old money heir #set up trusts for her siblings and live a quiet life. but that wont happen obvi hehe #also one of the siblings' name is melpomene... being named from the goddess of comedy thalia is kinda boring lol #essentially her story is like. she learns how to have fun. essentially. depending on how i rp her idk yet actually

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toffyrats · 11 months ago

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it’s finally starting to settle in that christmas is in 3 fucking days

#like. it doesnt even feel like winter #maybe i’m js getting older but last i checked i was counting down the hours and it was getting hard to sleep at night #it was a “its finally cold out! my favorite time of year! we’re off on break! christmas is almost here!”#n now its a “oh right christmas. free stuff”#my parents apparently have something big planned for my 18th this year and i can’t bring myself to even look forward to it?#like. yeah. my fucking eighteenth birthday is in like a week #and the start of a new year is less of a celebration and more of a sigh of relief #its more of a “yippee. another year. at least it’s a fresh start.”#i think this is the 2020 effect #2020 was 4 years ago guys. that is absolutely insane #its not even nostalgia it’s just “wow. okay.”#its like getting punched in the gut yk #2020 was the last year the holidays felt right.#now my whole life feels like a blur and i cannot believe it was four whole years ago #and now we’re entering 2024 with nothing but see you again by tyler the creator and a few loose hopes #the election is this year #maybe things will fix themselves and go back to normal #thats all ive ever wanted since 2020 ended. was for things to just be normal #after the masking mandates were lifted i felt like maybe they could #but im just kinda being rushed through life #and i wish it would just be normal.

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killjoy-prince · 4 months ago

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Yoosung's all done!

#prince's gaming tag #this little shit asking me if him bringing up rika all day made him look pathetic #and when i said it made me feel jealous he said he's glad to hear that #but i had nothing to worry about bc how he felt about me was different from how he felt about rika #and then he asked what he thought about a guy like him and I said just my type #and he looked happy but before he could answer he sneezed bc of the cold and then it started snowing #and thats when he embraced me from behind and said the above #i wanna bring up this artist's insistence of drawing the MC short af bc Yoosung is 171cm/5'7 #how fucking short is the MC here??? i feel like they didnt have a model sheet on hand here #if i go off another story MC is the same height as Rika who's 159cm/5'2 #but she looks shorter than that here #im remembering jaehee's vday cg where MC is sooooo small compared to her and then they fixed it so jaehee stood about 2in taller #anyway i only got one more ending to get in this dlc and then im done! and it's the best one to me #bc it's my girlllllllll!!!!!! saved the best for last. ill be getting it tonight

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andsotheuniverseended · 4 months ago

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watching Heathcliff and Catherine's whole toxic codependent mess is so deeply funny with Edgar, Catherine's actual husband, standing right next to them being entirely normal about loving his wife

#Universe Ends Posts #Wuthering Heights #i am sure this is an ice cold take to long term wuthering heights enjoyers but as someone who just read it #truly the transcendental experience of heathcliff and catherine being weird as all fuck #whilst Edgar. is mildly miffed at his wife being so obsessed with another man.#tends to be gentle with her bc he knows she's a bit unstable at times especially after getting sick.#mourns her when she dies and processes grief in a normal way and moves on to take care of his child and household.#you know. how people love other people.#i just deeply enjoy that we've got so many completely fucked up blorbos running about and to counteract them A Normal Man #also i gotta say it. hareton and catherine the second are cute. im glad those crazy kids made it out okay.#OH also i AM obsessed with Catherine and Heathcliff dont get me WRONG #they are THE definition of getting on like a house on fire- the amount of livelihood and property damage those two caused-#iconic. whos doing it like them? the OG problematic favs

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princessmyriad · 5 months ago

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*minecraft damage noise every few seconds, i am dying of cold*

#ouaaggghh i hatee winterrr 😭 put me in your heatwave please ill thrive #all the work weve done for years to not be actively suicidal and winter comes along like lol but what if you did it though fr #wouldnt that be cool. wouldnt that be chill? if you if you if you died right now of cold exposure and loneliness? and lack of colours #thats how winters talk to me and it hits hard every fucgeen time. i want to die so bad rn (no i dont i just wish it wasnt cold)#.(i just wish it wasnt so cold.)#personal #hm im gonna order a burger and watch a zelda marathon and then not move any more today i think. maybe for til i have to groceries anyway #eugh. ouggh. aaagh. euughh. owch #its just some cold weather why am i still so bad at handling it. it makes me think of fears like when people say the cure t fear is exposure #but then ive experienced 26 years of nighthtimes and they never get less scary? i never have less fear? so riddle me that batman #thats how i feel about winter im not scared of it as sush but its like. why so much effect on me still after living through many winters #i know this will pass and i know i own an electric blanket but it always gets to this point #and it feels like ittl be forever one way or another. ill either die of cold or the cold will never end #anyway if u see this send me pics of animals you think look cozy. idc if theyre yours or from the internet idc #i wont respond bc im busy wanting to die but itd be a nice moment of comfort anyway

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coridallasmultipass · 7 months ago

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well one of family never ends' author's other fics is the epilogue of course ;) but ipgd also wrote people don't do that (alphacest), homestuck watches boku no pico, and like the first uucest fic

YAASS OMG.

ANON.

Thank you.

Deeply and truly thank you. Saved me a real pain. It was People Don't Do That. Gonna reread it ASAP. I don't remember if I read the uucest one, but I powered thru a lot of fics while I was sick in Jan, and I don't remember like 90% of those two weeks. (Like, as I'm going thru the tag I'm reading now, I'll see something unclicked and go to read it, finish the fic like OMG SO GOOD, and then scroll a little more and I see my name at the top of the kudos list and it's like, wait, when tf did I read this? It was when I was sick.)

Ughhhh. I ADORE the dynamic of whichever younger Strider being the instigator, and it fits Alphacest so deliciously. (I don't even know what to say here without being so fucking overtly horny for Alpha Dave in general but that's not new lmao.)

But seriously, the scene on the roof where Dirk took Dave's underwear, like. I died. There's no other way to put it. It fucking killed me. I'm going to remember that forever, it was so good.

#anonymous #asked #hhhh ive had this text box open typing paragraphs for a while but none of that shit was relevant #i was just rambling too much abt the alpha dave in my own wip #just ugh i love in fics when dirk gets alpha dave all flustered #(i mean. bro doing that to dave too is good im not denying that)#but if its dave riling up bro that means it was something particularly nassssty which is great #like for dirk and dave the freaky bar is a higher reach #idk where im going w these tags i need to get ready for bed lmao #stridercest #seriously thank you it wouldve taken me forever to get around to finding the title #ugh i could talk for days ab alphacest hhh the hero worship is so fucking good #i dont remember which tab was scrolling that ao3 tag but im pretty sure its one i read all the way through #i havent found another open alphacest one lmao the despair when i read to the end of the tag was horrible #i might stillhave some fics i havent read yet open in the tab folder but its probably like longer stories that take me a while to start #for now tho im workin on the brodave one (and so many more lmao recently opened a tab for brodirk)#i read too much and dont write enough i couldve already been done w my wip and moved on to finishing the other wips #anyway #im cold and gonna get into bed

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dreamingofstarslight · 10 months ago

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I am melting into a puddle like the wicked witch

#i speak #i need this heat to STOP #and i need more cold days #and i need time to stop for a few months #ughhh this about to be the worst few months #ive got death anniversaries coming up and birthdays for those dead ppl coming up and my birthday #and siblings birthdays and ugh these seasons already fuck with my emotions #and now theres these things and this heat and my lead teacher fucking sucks as a person #and my work mom is quitting this month and its just going to be one thing after another #and its legit gonna be a thing where i am gonna be late some days bc of how overwhleming this is going to get #kinda feel like that song ‘wake me up when september ends’? yall know the one #but its more like ‘wake me up when october begins’#i think I’ll be okay being a person in october #last year i didnt even really remember that it was my birthday/my graduation anniversary bc everything kind of fell to the wayside #and i dont mean to sound any bit bratty about it but it fucking sucks that even as an adult i cant find happiness at my birthday/graduation #anniversary bc literally smack dab jn the middle of those dates my grandpa died #so its like i hate feelimg mad about it but also what do you mean im probably never going to be happy on my birthday?#god it just sucks #vent #sorry #just ignore this literally

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phagodyke · 1 year ago

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tummy hurts my final message goodbye

#ive had mild pelvic pain for like. half a week now. its a bit like period cramps + in the same area but not as intense. idfk why #I dont think its bowel (<-no other symptoms and pain area is too low down) or bladder related (<- usually more painful + affects peeing)#sometimes I do get cramps a few days before my period but im midway thru my cycle and idk its not usually like this #not ovulation pain either bc thats supposed to only last a few hours. i dont fucking knooooww #im trying not to think abt it or complain abt it bc if i focus on it too much ill imagine its worse than it is. its rly not that bad #just consistent which is annoying. hopefully itll pass in a few more days. adulthood is all abt having mysterious random pains in ur body #sorry for tmi abt my internal bodily functions do u guys still think im cool.#eurghhh. im glad i went out to parkour today but man i rly wasnt feeling like it. another depression weekend :-(#but its ok im a bit tired of complaining abt being depressed. who give a shit. im doing all i can at the moment and thats fine #back to jobhunting tmr hopefully itll be more fruitful. im expecting to hear back from a few ppl. we'll see. rolling my rock back uphill #im gonna go get a hot water bottle i think... my hands are soooo cold and maybe itll soothe tummy pain too #and then read a little more.. finished giovannis room earlier (so fucking good but. devastating) so im back onto deaths end #just another 350 pages to go.. v curious to see where its gonna end up cuz so much crazy shit keeps happening. im just at the fairytales #hope my loyal followers are having a peaceful weekend.... farewell #.diaries

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freebooter4ever · 1 year ago

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i hate this city so much, i am sick of these adults playing cliques and the way these people treat those they consider insignificant and the power trips and... everything. hate it.

#jrnlsht #one stupid thing that is barely a mistake and suddenly the entire house of cards comes down and you are friendless #i also strongly suspect this person who is mad at me for not *saving him a seat* is also pissed that #i dropped the I Have A Boyfriend bomb last time we saw each other #he has been cold ever since #welcome to the city where men use power and connections to try and corner you into things even when you are half their age #super duper ironic that i used Pilot Boy as a Sorry Im Taken excuse... a slight lie since he and i were never boyfriend/girlfriend official #and then literally the next day Pilot Boy ends our casual dates for good #i probably jinxed it by lying and pretending i had an exclusive boyfriend to get out of awkward situations with another man #anyway i called my friend and cried a TON and i am so sick of power games

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united-under-skyfall · 1 year ago

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