#if i ever have a baby I'd be torn between having it at home with a midwife‚ which honestly feels less scary‚

[hussyknee]

Can't imagine ever feeling bad about being single when Reddit exists. Today in cis het men are hot garbage.

Tw for traumatic childbirth, medical trauma, coercion, gaslighting and medical abuse and fucking troglodyte manchild of a husband. Jesus fucking Christ.

[mrsshabana]

um...

would you mind..continuing the werewolf gyutaro story?

i loved it a lot.

-liv

𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅!𝐆𝐘𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎 ⛧ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary After getting you pregnant Gyutaro refused to leave your side. So you happily invited him to live with you. However, living with a werewolf is more chaotic than you thought. But you'll have to get used to it as soon you'll have a little pack of your own running around. ꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, 18+ MDNI, size difference, forbidden romance, pregnancy ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.2k words. Thank you for requesting this! I had a lot of fun revisiting this story from kinktober ♡

༺ Art ༻

⇢ Chapter one ⇢ Chapter two ⇢ Chapter three

"What are you doing?!" you gasp in utter horror to see the mess that your werewolf boyfriend has made in your home.

"I'm building us a nest!" He claims happily, his tail wagging behind him as he tugs on a pillow. Ripping the stuffing out.

"A nest?! You're a wolf, not a bird!"

"Trust me, my love - this will be perfect for you to rest in while you carry my young!"

You sigh, giving up as you know he means well. After that full moon Gyutaro refused to leave your side so you invited him to live with you in your small home. And ever since he's been here he's turned the place upside down.

Tracking in dirt from outside, tearing up your furniture, and even trying to bring whole carcasses inside - claiming that he wants to save them for later. To say the least, your life has been nothing but chaos.

"Come here and try it out with me!" He barks, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. He looks so happy and unbothered by the mess he's made. His enthusiasm is more than enough for you to forget about it for now.

"Alright," you smile and step into the makeshift nest with him. It's surprisingly comfortable for what it is - a strange mass of sticks, leaves, pelts, and torn cushions. You have no idea how he managed to make it so comfortable but this thing feels better than your bed.

"Nice right? I worked on it all afternoon," he licks your face affectionately. You can't help but giggle from the sensation.

"So that's what you were doing this whole time? You did a good job, Gyu," you praise him and scratch behind his ears just like he likes it.

You don't understand why he did this in the first place. As far as you know wolves don't make nests. Did he learn this from someone else? Or is he just weird? You don't know, but the thought is what counts.

Gyutaro leans into your touch, enjoying the sensation of your fingers scratching his scalp. As he gets closer, his nose starts twitching curiously. Inhaling deeply until he's dragging his nose all over your torso, sniffing so hard that you swear he could suck up your shirt into his nostrils.

"What is it?" you say between laughs.

"My children," he smirks, "I can smell them inside you!"

"What?!" you're taken aback by his statement, "It's only been a few days, there's no way-"

"My seed is potent!!" He interrupts you, shouting triumphantly, "They said I was not fit to reproduce! That I'd never have pups of my own! But look at me now!!"

He grabs you by the waist and pulls you close, leaning down to nuzzle his face into your stomach where supposedly his babies are growing.

You can't help but smile seeing him this way. So proud of his new family, and so proud of himself for accomplishing something he never thought possible.

"Gyu," you hum as you continue rolling your fingers through his hair, "How many do you think we'll have?"

"Hm... my kind usually has three to five. But my mother only had me and my sister so two is also possible," he says excitedly, "But don't worry, I'll help you take care of them."

"I never doubted that you would," you smile, "I know you'll be a great father."

"I-I hope so," he blushes, suddenly becoming shy. It's cute how shy and adorable he is right now considering he was the complete opposite the night of the full moon.

It's strange how much Gyutaro has changed since that night. Before he was always brooding and on edge. He'd be happy when you were around but there was a dark aura around him. Whether that was caused by his pack, his family, or maybe something else - you aren't sure. But whatever it was it's not of a concern to him anymore. Because ever since he moved in with you he's been nothing but happy and optimistic. And seeing him this way warms your heart, making you more than excited for the future.

"Do you think they'll be like you? Or could they be human like me?" You ask a genuine question that has been on your mind ever since you realized you could be pregnant.

His eyes widen and his ears flatten, he scratches the back of his neck as if this is something he's never thought about. "Huh... I uh... I actually don't know. I think they will be werewolves but I'm not sure."

"Maybe they'll be half human half werewolf?"

"Maybe! I'd be happy no matter how they came out. Even if they were all human I'd still love them just the same! And I'd still teach them to hunt and play in the forest too!"

When you close your eyes you can imagine Gyutaro running through the forest with a group of toddlers. Carrying them on his shoulders when they get tired, and stopping to chase butterflies or look at pretty flowers. And in the afternoon they all come home covered in mud because dad thought it would be fun.

You couldn't ask for anything better than that. Sure it would be chaotic and messy, but being with Gyutaro has taught you that it's worth it. Dating a werewolf was never normal, clean, or organized. It's the complete opposite, but that's why you love him. And you can't wait for your children to be just the same way.

"I'd love that. I want them to be just like their dad," you whisper as you gently kiss the top of his head.

"I hope they're gentle and caring like you..." he blushes, "And pretty too."

"Aww, I hope they inherit your birthmarks so they'll be just as pretty as you."

"Wh-what did you say?" he looks up at you with wild eyes.

"I um... I said I hope they have your birthmarks," you hesitate, afraid that something you said may have angered him.

His eyes soften as they begin to well up with tears. His birthmarks were the one reason he could never find a mate. The one reason he was constantly rejected. Always told that his genes were unfavorable because of the hideous marks on his face. But you, you actually want him to pass on his birthmarks to your children? He can't believe his ears. Breaking into tears as he realizes that you aren't playing a cruel joke on him.

When you see him break down you begin to panic, "Wait, I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you upset," you frantically apologize as you hold him close and try to comfort him.

"No Y/N... I'm not upset," he whimpers, "I'm the happiest I've ever been. No one's ever accepted me and all of my flaws..."

"Honey, they aren't flaws. They're what make you who you are, and I think you're perfect this way," you smile and kiss all over his face.

He wants to thank you a thousand times over. Say it so many times until his voice is raw. Instead, he holds you close and gently licks your cheek as if saying "Thank you" in his own unique way. Because saying out loud could never be enough.

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

THIRD PLACE ROUND - Jiang Cheng vs Wen Kexing

The battle for third place is between Jiang Cheng (shixiong: Wei Wuxian) from Mo Dao Zu Shi and Wen Kexing (shixiong: Zhou Zishu) from Word of Honor

Propaganda under the cut

Wen Kexing:

(okay so the canon part is confusing. cause wenzhou are officially canon in Faraway Wanderers and are censored bromance in Word of Honor. but they're only shixiong/shidi in Word of Honor and not in Faraway Wanderers. so idk what you want to do in regards to the canonicity of their relationship)

I mean Wen Kexing is all over Zhou Zishu from day 1, though he has very complicated emotions surrounding the whole shixiong/shidi element to their relationship, he does eventually declare himself as the second disciple of Shiji Manor and publicly acknowledges Zhou Zishu as his shixiong. anyways if you know anything about Wen Kexing you know how desperately he wants Zhou Zishu, even the censorship couldn't hide the fact that Wen Kexing wants to rail Zhou Zishu to kingdom come

the utter simp that is WKX for his ZZS? No contest. None. None at all.

#WKX now actually fucked his shixiong like pls the entire book/show is about him wanting to get with him

#WKX hands down wanna fck or get fcked by his “Ah-Xu~” from day 1

#y'all have the audacity. as if Wen Kexing did baby trap is shixiong with TWO kids

Jiang Cheng:

Clinged to WWX constantly for 7+ years, wanted to have WWX as his right hand man forever after becoming sect leader, cried after WWX left, cried when he discovered what WWX sacrificed for him, was TORN APART when it got explained to him that if they were more outwardly close knit, WWX might not have died

PROPAGANDA!! to start, i'm still very bitter about how fairy lost the sentient animal poll and i want to win this badly. very very badly. current stats are 50.6 in favour of jc but that's too less of a gap for me. jc should be winning this by a landslide, y'all hear me? anyways. starting with a class act, like the clown i am->

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a few links ( because i'm chengxian trash, as always and i'd love if poll-guy could copy paste them on the og post): one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

to start with. jiang cheng is literally the picture of "i knew from the moment i met you that i'd spend a lifetime forgiving you".

the earliest dynamic of jiang cheng and wei wuxian is jiang cheng giving away his dogs (the only gift his father has ever given him, btw) because wei wuxian is scared of the dogs. tis only the start of it.

his father very obviously prefers his shixiong over him, his mother berates him for not being as good as wei wuxian and tells him his inheritance is in danger, and his sister (in my opinion) has more care for him (visibly. maybe jiang yanli doesn't show it because jc is an emotionally complicated purple grape, maybe because jc doesn't need it, or wei wuxian is traumatised but that's my opinion). but still. still. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian. so much. jealousy is like. the most tame response i can think of. and jiang cheng is proud of wei wuxian, okay? he'd believe his big brother if he'd said anything. want proof? well, here you go-> link

to paraphrase the link:

Jiang Cheng had just lost his family, his home, and his very golden core, and his older brother - his brilliant older brother who could fix anything, who could sneak wine into Cloud Recesses and defeat an ancient turtle nearly-god and make Jiang Cheng share a smile when Jiang Cheng’s mother was disappointed and furious at both of them - His big brother smiled and said, “I can fix this.”And Jiang Cheng believed him then, and believed him three months later when Wei Wuxian crawled out of the Burial Mounds (just the second miracle in three months), and believed him every day of the next seventeen(?) years until the pieces were shoved into place for him to see.

also. the circle these two go in protecting each other. (gif set by @sandushengshou), the 'if one of us is to die, then, i beg, let it be me' that they both do for one another in a seemingly neverending loop of sacrifice. via this post a la my lovely @backtoyunmeng

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jiang cheng is a cannonically ruined woman archetype, justified via the countless posts you'll get in the top posts of jiang cheng tag. he keeps chenqing, wwx's flute in perfect condition even when he hates wei wuxian, even when wwx, if only indirectly, has a part in jiang yanli's murder and oof okay someone pointed out to him that he's known to have killed wei wuxian and he almost cries. he absolutely believes, with his whole heart, that wei wuxian lives even when the world is sure he doesnt. and it always read to me like, i'd know if he was dead. he's a part of my soul, so i'd know if he was dead. he can't be dead.

this is getting too long, so, to sum up, some absolute poetry by @jiangchengsjawline

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#JC On The Other Hand Has His Entire Life Shaped By His Shixiong And Ended Up Cast As The Ruined Woman By The End

#jiang cheng though. wasn't able to fuck his shixiong but his shixiong definitely fucked with him

#hello?? the answer is Jiang cheng pls#he's the shixiongfucker or all shixiong fucker you wish you could be as pathetically in love with your shixiong as he is#chengxian

#i do not go here (chengxian) but the propaganda is incredibly correct they are insane abt each other#also sorry jiang cheng ik you're suffering but they are so funny to me#neway VOTE JIANG CHENG FOR CLEAR SKIN

#look I rarely go here#(here being chengxian)#but by GOD their lvoe compels me#they’re tragic and doomed and they love each other without knowing how to say it in words the other would understand#or in words at all because communication??? we don’t know her???

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he didn't even think about sacrificing himself, and consequently his entire bloodline, his sect, pretty much everything that depends on him for his shixiong??????????

is this not convincing->

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#had to vote jc though i have more feelings about chengxian#i think jc should have a huge gege kink

#like. jiang cheng should win the entire tournament hands down period

#jiang cheng#is the only correct answer in my gay little brain#i’m sure everyone else’s shixiong fuckers are great too#but jiang cheng is MY favorite#tumblr polls#mdzs#if chengxian fucked in canon it would make everything about their situation at least 65% less complicated you can’t change my mind

[theweightofakiteofdreamsingold]

Torn-Jacob Kiszka

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, mature themes, fingering, unprotected sex, breeding kink, language, MINORS DNI.

A/N: This is my first Jake fic. It was inspired by the antics he's been up to on this Starcatcher tour. 🙃 I hope you love it. ♥️

-Ken

"If I could save time in a bottle,

The first thing that I'd like to do,

Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away,

Just to spend them with you."

You hummed away to the words of Jim Croce that were drifting from the worn, wooden turntable in the living room. You couldn't help but smile as Jake plucked away lazily to the song with ease. His gaze focused on the swaying trees outside the big picture window a few feet from him while you found yourself lost in his side profile. You noted the curve of his nose and his plush, pouty lips. He was so beautiful, like a prince you had read about in one of your storybooks as a child.

You sipped on the warm cup of lavender tea that Jake had made for you. Your movement had broken his trance, and he turned his head to you, giving you a warm smile, his eyes sparkling. You felt your cheeks warm, and you knew there was a hint of pink to them. After two years with him, the honeymoon stage was still as present as ever.

As the song came to its end, he sat his gutair on its stand carefully before standing up and stretching. You sighed with admiration as your eyes danced over him. You loved these days. Lazy afternoons when he was home made you feel complete. He looked so lovely in his dark gray sweatpants that were loosely hugging his hips. His bare chest flexed and moved with each twist and turn during his stretch, and you couldn't stop your mouth from watering if you tried.

He huffed and gave a yawn as he made his way to you on the couch. He slid his body between your legs, resting his head on your stomach. His arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing you gently. You sat your tea on the coffee table and your free hands dove into his tangled, soft brown hair. You ran your fingers from his temple out to the end of the strands, making him sigh and relax deeper into you.

"Hmmm. That feels fantastic, love."

He moved a hand to your hip, lifting your shirt slightly, and traced small circles over your exposed skin with his calloused fingertips. The sensation sent goosebumps to the surface of your skin and a tingle between your legs. He lifted his head to look up at you, his eyes fluttering, making your heart pound.

"You're so beautiful,” he breathed, before lifting your shirt higher, exposing your stomach. He placed soft kisses on you, making a trail to your hip where he dug his teeth in, making you jump and squeal. He sat up, putting his feet on the floor, and pulled you into his lap.

"Can I give my girl some loving?" He tugged at your shit anxiously, wanting to remove it completely. You could feel his length getting harder underneath you, and you couldn't help but grind yourself against him. He took that as your answer and swiftly removed your shirt, tossing it to the floor. He leaned into you, his hands on your ass, and took a nipple into his mouth. His warm tongue made slow strides over your pebbled flesh. Your hips moved faster over him, wanting more. His hands brought you to a halt as he held you in place. Lifting his head, he brought his mouth to your neck, leaving sloppy open mouthed kisses leading all the way up to your ear. He took your earlobe between his teeth and bit softly.

"Slow down baby. I'll give my girl what she needs. Don't I always take care of you?"

You whimpered, your fingers digging into his shoulders. You needed him. He had been on tour, and even though you went to a few shows and had a few hotel nights, it was nothing like having him home, making you scream his name to the heavens.

You calmed your breathing, wrapping your arms around his neck and moving your hips slowly over him.

"Yes, Jake. You always take care of me."

You could feel him smile against your neck.

"That's my girl. Now let me take my time. I want to spoil every inch of you."

He kissed the corner of your mouth, then stood up with you wrapped around him, sucking and nipping at your neck and chest as he carried you to the bedroom. He laid you on the bed with so much care that you felt like the most precious jewel in the world. He stood up and looked down at you with smokey, lust-filled eyes and his lips parted just-so. He shook his head softly and hummed.

"I can't believe you're mine."

Your heart skipped a beat. You still couldn't fathom that this beautiful rock god, who thousands of women wanted between their legs, had picked you. He was so enthralled with you. You were his weakness. He would move mountains for you if you asked. He was as in awe of you as you were of him. Maybe even more.

He slipped his sweatpants down his legs, kicking them to the side. His hard, soft pink cock sprung free, and you could have cum at the sight of him.

"Put a baby in me, Jake," you breathed, before you even knew you wanted to say it. His eyes widened, and you noticed his cock twitch at your words. He said nothing, slowly climbing on top of you. He placed a sloppy kiss on your lips, his tongue swiping over yours. As he pulled away, balancing on one arm next to your head, he slipped his free arm down to your sopping wet panties.

A smirk played on his lips as he started slow circles on your clit through the fabric.

"You want to have my baby?" he whispered, licking at your lips.

Your hips bucked into his hand as a shameful moan tumbled from your mouth. The thought of having his baby had you on fire. He pulled your panties to the side, teasing your entrance with his middle finger. He rubbed faster, tighter circles on your swollen clit as he leaned into your ear, his breath tickling you.

"You'd make such a good mommy," he whimpered, plunging his finger into you as punctuation.

Your hands flew to his exposed shoulders, digging your fingers into them. He pressed his forehead to yours as his eyes burned into you. His ring finger joined his middle one inside of you, curling into the spot he always seemed to find with ease.

"J-Jake. Plea-se," you panted out, feeling your orgasm building quickly.

"Cum for me," he demanded lovingly. “I want you to cum on my fingers. I want to watch you taste yourself on them."

Your eyes rolled back, and his words catapulted you over the edge. He groaned as your orgasm ran down his hand and wrist.

"Fuck. That's my girl." He fucked his fingers into you until you were squirming. Then he pulled them out, parting your lips with them. You wrapped your tongue around his fingers and sucked. Tasting yourself on his fingers made you pussy drip. He then pulled them out, lapping the remainder juices off himself.

He climbed off the bed, and jerked his head up at you. "Come here, baby."

Your legs shaking, you slowly made your way to him. He wrapped his arms around you, leaning in for a tender kiss. You hummed against his mouth and relaxed into him before he pulled away and smiled.

"I just wanted to be sweet before I fucked you like a slut."

Your eyes widened, and you felt your heartbeat between your legs. He pet your hair gingerly before digging his fingers into it, grabbing a fist full.

"Hands on the wall."

You moved towards the wall, his hand still firmly secured in your hair, and you did as he said. He pressed his chest flush against your back, and you could feel his cock throbbing on the small of your back. He released his grip on your hair and ran his hands down your sides, stopped to squeeze your ass, and then slid your panties down your legs, helping you step out of them.

He let out a moan as he reached between your legs, coaxing you to spread them further. His fingers slipped with ease though your folds.

"My girl is so wet for me."

You arched your back and stood on your toes, giving him a better angle. He halted his movement, and then his touch was gone altogether. You heard the soft creaking of the floorboards under his feet as he stepped away. You turned your head to look behind you and saw him just a few feet away. His eyes were burning into every inch of you, and his fist was pumping his cock at a steady rate. The fingers he used to tease your heat were in his mouth and you moaned at the sight.

He removed his fingers from his mouth with a pop, a small string of saliva connecting them to his lips. He walked closer to you, his hand still sliding over his length.

"You looked so sinful standing there, legs spread, begging to be fucked. So pornagrapic. I couldn't help but touch myself."

You felt a shap pain as he landing a cracking slap to your ass. He rubbed his hand softly over the red mark he had left, soothing the sting.

"Are you ready for my cock?"

You nodded vigorously with noticing how eager you were. He stood behind you, and you sighed when you felt his smooth warm tip tease at your entrance.

"Are you gonna take it like a good girl?" He pushed into you a little, letting out a shaky breath.

"Yes, sir,” you answered as your eyes screwed shut, fighting the urge to push onto his full length. He dug his fingers into your hips and slammed into you. Your face pressed into the wall as you screamed with delight, enjoying the feeling of fullness so quickly. He worked up a steady pace, grunting as he pounded you into the wall.

You lifted your head, wanting to turn to watch him. You were met with his hand pushing your face back into the wall.

"Did I say you could watch me?" he growled, digging his other hand deeper into your hip, making you cry out.

Your legs shook, and tears threatened to spill from your eyes. He was so deep, hitting your sweet spot over and over. You were so close to the edge; your moans and screams filled the room to capacity.

"Do it, baby. Cum for me. I can feel you almost there."

You felt the pressure come to a head as you clenched around him, your legs giving out on you. Jake quickly wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place as he fucked into you at a slower pace. His mouth hungrily found your neck, sucking and biting as you came down from your high.

Once your breathing calmed, he turned you around to face him. Some hairs were sticking to his forehead with sweat, and his chest was glistening. You bit your lip, swallowing a moan. He picked you up and pushed your back against the wall.

"We're not done yet, honey. I still have to fuck a baby into you."

Your heart drummed so loud, you swore he could hear it. He gave you a devious grin as he cupped your ass, holding you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he slid into your wetness at an excruciatingly slow pace. You grabbed fistfuls of his hair, pulling at the scalp until he hissed in pain.

You felt him bottom out, making you both cry out in unison.

"You're pussy feels so good squeezed around my cock. I don't think I'm gonna last long."

He rested his forehead on your shoulder, and a shiver ran down his spine, making his cock twitch inside of you. You lifted his chin so his fucked-out face was looking at you.

"Let me have your baby. Let me make you a daddy."

He let out a soft whine as he started pumping in and out of you. It didn't take long for him to build up his strength and pace. He fucked you hard and fast, his eyes never leaving yours. His face twisted, like it did when he was on stage fucking his gutair. You screamed his name, scratching your nails deep into his back. You could feel the bumps of raised skin you were creating.

"Open your mouth." He grunted through gritted teeth.

You did as he asked. Your mind so foggy with pleasure that you didn't question his intentions. He leaned in closer to you, sticking out his tongue and letting a stream of saliva drip onto yours. You gratefully swallowed him down as he bit your bottom lip. You felt the familiar pressure of your orgasm building quickly.

He looked down to the obscene image of him ramming in and out of you and whimpered. His eyes flicked up to yours, his lips pouty and swollen.

"I'm gonna cum, baby."

You nodded your head as it fell back on the wall.

"Please, Jakey. Fill me up. I want to feel it."

He gave you a few more hard thrusts before you felt his warmth paint your walls. The most beautiful moan escaped him, and you came crashing behind him.

As you both floated down from euphoria, he kissed your chin and moved you to the bed. He removed himself from you, going to the bathroom. He came back quickly with a warm washcloth to clean you up, letting out a soft laugh as he cleaned you.

"Oh honey, you're definitely pregnant. I've made a mess of you."

You laughed with him, scooting up the bed after he was finished. You both slid in under the covers, snuggling up to each other. His fingers sleepily stroked your stomach. You sighed into him as you felt the sandman sprinking you with sleep.

The last thing you remembered hearing was Jake whispering softly into the room.

"I hope it's a girl. I've always wanted a princess."

[galvanizedfriend]

what are your top ten favorite klaroline fics?

Hello, nonnie! I see your asks have made the rounds. Really nice to see lots of rec lists circulating!

I had to give this a thought. It's very hard to come up with just 10. I could easily do a part II. 😂 But without further ado, and in no particular order, 10 of my favorite KC fics:

. The Parisian Deal by Borzoi

I honestly vary between The Parisian Deal and Paradise Lost as my favorite Borzoi fics. It depends. I think I'm in my Parisian Deal era, though. I've recced this a few times over the last few months, whenever someone's asked me for my favorites or humanity-less Caroline fics. For me, this is the best one that comes to mind. Borzoi's fics are all brilliant. I love their writing style to bits. It reads like a novel, it draws in and it grips you by the throat until the very end. This one features Klaus being called to the rescue by a desperate Salvatore clan when Caroline turns off her humanity and fucks off to Europe. Unlike her friends, Klaus doesn't threaten her, doesn't try to force her to feel; instead, he offers her a deal. And it's perfect. I love this story with my whole heart, I can't even tell you.

. In the Backseat by Lila2

After leaving Hayley as a wolf in the Bayou and earning the hatred of his entire family, Klaus shows up with baby Hope on Caroline's doorstop. He has no idea what to do with a baby, is too proud to apologize and is in desperate search of some validation, which invariably leads her back to her (just like in 5x11). Caroline is torn between being mad at him for having a baby with freaking Hayley, and also the fact that she loves kids and there's a part of her that resents him precisely because he gets to have them, when she never will. In her own way, Caroline puts him in his place and convinces him to make amends and go home, take Hope back to her mother - but only if she comes with him on the road trip. And boy, is it worth it. 🥰 It's a fic that has the baby as a catalyst for everything, at the center of everyone's woes in different ways, but it's not about the baby, in case you're a baby fic hater. And the writing is just chef's kiss.

. the birth and death of the day by @little-miss-sunny-daisy

For a good while there, this fic was my entire fandom personality. Whenever anyone gave me a second of their time, I'd preach about the birth and death of the day. I was obsessed. Kelly is a brilliant writer, so, so, so talented. I am not kidding when I saw I wish I could write like her. And the greatest proof of that is how this fic was everything to me, in spite of not being at all my cup of tea on the tin. I don't like Supernatural, I never watched more than two episodes, and the Klaroline bit here kind of takes on a secondary role to the end of the of the world. But it's such an intense and brilliant character study on Caroline that it had my whole heart from the start. Her relationship with her BROTHERS Dean and Sam is so heartfelt, and it exposes so much of who Caroline really is as a character. The plot is INSANE and AMAZING and HUGE and it's so incredible how it ties in so seamlessly with the Mystic Falls shenanigans. And then there is Klaus! When I saw secondary, I don't mean irrelevant. I just mean there's more to the story than just their relationship. But it is still brilliantly developed. Honestly, just writing about it brings me back memories. I love it so much.

. Quiet Light by @definedareasofuncertainty

I am biased when it comes to Luiza's fics because I'm a fangirl and I have been one since day one, before we even became friends. But in the years (years 🥲 we have been here so long, friend) we have known each other, her writing has only gotten better and better. It's atmospheric and understated and it has this mindfulness about it that I can't really explain. It really feels like being in the characters' stream of thinking, you get instantly pulled into it. It evokes emotions without it ever having to be minutely described, and I think that's such an incredible talent. I wish I could write like this! And Quite Light not only brings all of those things forward, but it also brings COMPLEXITIES and MORAL QUARRELLS and it was also WRITTEN FOR ME. 😌✨ Luiza thought she was getting revenge on me by torturing Elijah, but LITTLE DID SHE KNOW I actually loved it. I went into this thinking it would be just a rom-com style story (which I love), but it's so much more. By the end I was crying real tears. 🥲 It becomes such a beautiful story about the relationship between Klaus and Elijah. Honestly brilliant.

. light years by @definedareasofuncertainty

Honestly, this fic has a very specific target audience, and that target audience is ME. I'm not even exaggerating; this is one my favorite pieces of fic ever written in the KC fandom. The way a Klarolijah fic speaks to me can be so personal. 🥺 I love the Klarolijah dynamic. I really do. But it takes a very specific balance for me to feel it. It can very easily go from me loving it, to me wanting to throttle someone. And this! THIS!! This is absolutely it. 🥲 And it's just about my favorite thing ever. This is actually three mini drabbles combined into one. Each of them is written through a different POV - Klaus', Elijah's and Caroline's. And the combination of all three, the way they tell the same story through different eyes, is just !!!!!!!!! Honestly, I don't have words. This has ✨Yokan my beloved✨ written all over it and I feel it very much. Luiza has a ridiculous talent for writing things on the spot. She got prompted to write an Elijah piece, and then a Caroline piece, and then a Klaus one, and she wrote them all in like 30 minutes on one of her mini drabbles challenge, and OH MY FUCKING GOD. I hate her for how good she is. 😭 (I don't, I love her, but I also v much envy her talent).

. this is a harvest by @highgaarden

I spent a solid few minutes here thinking about which of Hannah's fics I wanted to list, because she has this huge catalogue and I've basically read all of them and have gushed over almost every single one over the years. But even though there are others that could easily be in my top 10, I always end of going back to This is a Harvest. I remember when I first read it, I closed the tab at the end and was just… Done. Not in a 'I can't stand this story/ship/fandom anymore', but in a 'this is the fic to end all fics' kind of way. And it's not so much about the style or the writing, which are both stunning, but the way the story is told. It's a canon divergence that spans over years and I felt it in my heart that this was where the story could've gone. The choices they could've made. The way Caroline's story could and should have ended. And I was satisfied. I started writing and reading KC fanfiction after TO was over because I was so indignant about the way the show ended, so unhappy that I needed to give it my own spin, and read other folks doing the same, and when I read this story I felt like I had achieved that. This is it, I can put this to rest.

Obviously, I was way too deep by then that I couldn't really abandon the fandom (even though, just between us here, I kind of wish I could), but for a whole week or two, I was at peace. This fic gave me peace. That's it.

. Into the Woods by @jinxedwood

"But Yokan, how would you like to see Klaus' part in Legacies play out?" Like this. Exactly like this. This story accepts the finale we were dealt in The Originals, and then makes something absolutely amazing with it. I love the premise, I love the mythology involved, I love how unique this take is, and I love how even though it's poignant and bittersweet, it still packs up everything about Kc that made me love this ship so much. Caroline has been in Europe for years trying to find a way to help her daughters with their Gemini situation, and then she ends up stumbling across something else entirely. While she thought the thing she most wanted to see on a brief stint on the Other Side would be Gemini witches, her heart betrays her by taking her to who she really misses the most.

. it takes a while to settle down by theviolonist

This story is so old school it was written before Steroline. It's about Tyler. But we all know who Caroline ends up marrying, so in my heart, this is really what happens before Caroline marries Stefan. And honestly, it works just as well. This story is a punch to your stomach, but it is PERFECTION in 8k words. It's hot, it's bittersweet, it's SO in character. Caroline's denial, telling herself that Klaus is there to see her because he still ones revenge on Tyler, when it becomes very obvious, very fast, as it always does on the show, that it's never about Tyler, it's all about her. UGH. Honestly, brilliant. (third fic on this list with a The National reference on the title, I SENSE A PATTERN).

. As One Wishes to Live by @lalainajanes

I had never in my life read a genie!AU, and simply could not wrap my mind around anything of the sort that wouldn't be extreme crack!fic. Imagine my surprise upon reading this story. It's bittersweet in the best possible way. At the same time it's endearing and adorable (and so very IC) to watch Caroline fumbling for a fair and non-insane way to handle Klaus, the genie Katherine accidentally gifted her with (and who just happens to look incredibly alluring), it's so very poignant to read Klaus' POV. He's Klaus in the way that he's suspicious and dismissive and kind of snobbish, really, but he's resigned to his fate. This is a Klaus who has been broken by years of enslavement as this prop who's there exclusively to serve others. Every time he mentions one of his past masters, you just get that stab - and so does Caroline. Laine is one of the most prolific and talented KC writers ever, and I have read and enjoyed so, so many of her fics, but this definitely has a special place in my heart.

. Psychedelic Kicks by @notalittlebutalottie

This is an ensemble story that has Klaroline at heart, but that gives every other character a moment to shine. And shine they do! Everyone gets their own side stories, and absolutely loved following every single one of them. Lottie made me care for characters I hate in canon, like Katherine and Kol. Even Stefan and Elena had my heart here. This fic is a journey, full of ups and downs, and it has such a satisfying end. It's also incredibly original in its setting and tone, which I think it's one of Lottie's greatest talents. It's very are for historical fics to be set in the 60s, and not only did Lottie choose this very particular time, but she also did such a remarkable job incorporating the decades' aspects into the story. Not just the fashion, and the music, and Woodstocky vibes, but the social and political unrest as well. This is a story with LAYERS, my friends, and it's incredible. I could totally see this being a TV show or a movie tbh. It's that good.

[dovabunny]

Angsty Ghostsoap Idea of the day - Here all along

Soap met Simon when the man was on leave. Beautiful, mysterious Simon had walked past Soap's coffee shop a few times, before he mustered the courage to come in.

Meanwhile, thinking the huge man must've been stalking or creeping on one of his pretty female clients, Soap had stomped out to confront the man- only for the man to awkwardly apologize and ask him to dinner. The twist gave Soap such whiplash he...

... said without realizing what was happening.

For three blissful years Simon would come home to him every chance he got, sometimes even just for 3 days between missions.

He told him things he legally was not allowed to, but Soap was his 'home' - a place where he was just Simon, not Ghost or a soldier or a killer or a victim. A man who loved with his whole heart and wanted no secrets between them. Something neither of them had ever had.

They cooked together, Simon talked him into getting a dog named Riley, they made future plans and talked about him retiring.

Then Simon comes home from a bad mission. He was put on medical leave for wounds that were not all physical but refused to talk about what had happened- what had rattled him so. He wasn't himself - cold, blunt, quick to anger, and distant in a way Soap's never seen him in their years together.

Then Simon finds the rings Soap had been hiding.

Simon had been impatiently digging through his art supplies looking for tape when he found the box.

When Soap came home from work it was to Simon sitting in the dark, the box on the table.

His home had never felt as cold as when Simon's voice demanded "what's this."

Soap fucked up, but he wasn't even sure how. He stuttered something about where did he find it when he noticed there was a pile of his sketches too - torn out of his journals, clearly not too gently. All the ones of Simon's face.

"You KNOW why I can't show my face! You KNOW how I feel about this! I refuse to take photos with you so you do this???" He tosses the sketches across the table.

"They're all I have of you when you're gone so long! I didn't-"

"And the rings!? You ALSO know how my parents' marriage went so why the fuck did you think I'd want that? Or did that just not matter either?"

Soap stares, the tension that had been on Simon's shoulders since he arrived a few days ago now turned on him. Soap swallows hard. He had never for even a second felt scared of Soap. But he saw it now... Saw 'Ghost' overtake Simon.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll burn the sketches and get rid of the rings. I'm sorry, baby. Let's just forget this?" He tries to step forward.

"This was a mistake..." Simon whispers and it feels like a knife to the gut.

"...Si, love, what are you?"

"I said this was a mistake."

Simon gets to his feet and it's then that Soap spots the packed bag. Si throws it over his shoulder as he makes for the door.

"Simon, no! Baby, please - I'm sorry! Please, don't leave like this!" He reaches for him but Si shrugs him off and doesn't slow down.

His world collapses as the door closes behind the man he had given his heart, soul, and future to.

Simon doesn't return his calls or texts. Texts apologizing, begging, texts angry and hurt, texts reminding him he's loved and he has a home here whenever he's ready.

Then the number is disconnected.

Then he gets a letter in the mail that ends with "Our deepest condolences" and a pair of dog tags.

Five years later. Soap has tried to move on, but just couldn't. He still has the rings. Wishes he kept at least one sketch. His shop does well, Riley is getting old, and so is Soap. He keeps busy, and sketches less. Even after all this time when he puts pencil to paper his hand wants to draw Simon.

Then torn, crumpled pages on the floor with boot prints on them flash in his mind and he puts the pencil back down.

This morning he sat in his little kitchen and pages through the local paper when he feels his blood run cold.

Last week's festival was the highlight of the moment, the newspaper covered in photos taken at the event. But in the background of one looms a painfully familiar figure.

Soap grabs his phone and rings the paper. "Photo three, page two- at the fountain - when was that taken?!" The journalist is baffled - all of them last week.

That can't be. It can't be! But he knows that figure, those shoulders, those curls. he's in the shadows but outlined, angled towards where Soap's little trailer stand was.

Soap pulls the dog tags out of his shirt - always around his neck all this time. Is Simon.. alive?

And...near?

Soap looks at the shadows all the way to work, peeking around all day to try to spot a man that shouldn't be there - convincing himself he isn't crazy.

At closing time he had enough. He prints a page and sticks it to the door when he locks up.

"Si, if you're reading this grow a pair and come home."

Later that night there's a knock at the door. A familiar tall man, new scars and silver creeping into blind curls, but just as beautiful as he remembers. Unsteady hands hold a bouquet of his favorite flowers.

"Is this still home?" He asks

"Ours. Always." Soap smiles through the tears.

[mab1905]

GOOD OMENS SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!!

I made another playlist ehehe

Crowley's Breakup Mix

I made a list of all the songs and the most important lyrics:

Denial

“It’s A Hard Life” – Queen I don't want my freedom / There's no reason for living with a broken heart / It's a hard life / To be true lovers together / To love and live forever in each others hearts / It's a long hard fight / To learn to care for each other “Cool About It” – Boygenius  But we don't have to talk about it / I can walk you home and practice method acting / I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning / Telling you it's nice to see how good you're doing / Even though we know it isn't true “Moon Song” – Phoebe Bridgers You are sick, and you're married / And you might be dying / But you're holding me like water in your hands / When you saw the dead little bird, you started crying / But you know the killer doesn't understand “I Want Someone Badly” – Jeff Buckley  Now I want someone badly / To burn in here with me / Better listen baby / 'Cause I cry all over madly / Don't do anything to it with me / Ooh I wanna know / Am I sure that I have your love / I want know / If you're leaving just make sure it's right

Anger

“Too Much Love Will Kill You” – Queen I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be / Too many bitter tears are raining down on me / I'm far away from home and I've been facing this alone / For much too long / Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind / You're headed for disaster, 'cause you never read the signs / Too much love will kill you every time “Drink” – Destroy Boys Heavens send someone down / I'm about to turn this confession to a smoke cloud / Who put me here it's hard to say / Nails bleed as I claw out of the grave / She understands me like you did / She really loves me / I'm a saint living in sin / She really loathes me / She really loves me “Vampire Empire” – Big Thief I see you there rejecting all your earthly power / Protecting and dissecting 'til you've emptied every hour / I wanted to be your woman, I wanted to be your man / I wanted to be the one that you could understand / I walked into your dagger for the last time in a row / It's like trying to start a fire with matches in the snow / Well, you can't seem to hold me here, you can't seem to let me go / You wanna be with me, you wanna be with him “Letter To An Old Poet” – Boygenius You think you're a good person / Because you won't punch me in the stomach / And I love you / I don't know why / I just do / You don't know me / I wanna be happy / I'm ready / To walk into my room without looking for you / I'll go up to the top of our building / And remember my dog when I see the full moon / I can't feel it yet / But I am waiting “Salt In The Wound” – Boygenius You put salt in the wound / And a kiss on my cheek / You butter me up / And you sit down to eat / You add insult to injury / You say you believe in me / But you haven't decided / About taking or leaving me / Neck full of mockingbirds / All calling your name / I tried to sing it all back / Like I heard it, it don't sound the same / I'm gnashing my teeth / Like a child of Cain “Francesca” – Hozier Do you think I'd give up / That this might've shook the love from me / Or that I was on the brink / How could you think darling I'd scare so easily? / Now that it's done / There's not one thing that I would change / My life was a storm / Since I was born / How could I fear any hurricane? / If someone asked me at the end / I'll tell them put me back in it / Darling, I would do it again

Bargaining

“Lover, You Should've Come Over” – Jeff Buckley Broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it / Where are you tonight, child you know how much I need it / Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run / So I'll wait for you and I'll burn / Will I ever see your sweet return / Oh will I ever learn / Oh lover, you should've come over / 'Cause it's not too late “Dreamers Ball” – Queen Oh, take me, take me, take me / To the dreamer's ball / I'll be right on time and I'll dress so fine / You're gonna love me when you see me / I won't have to worry / You make my life worthwhile / With the slightest smile / Or destroy me with a barely perceptible whisper / Gently take me remember I'll be dreaming of my baby “Shrike” – Hozier I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now / And I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted / I had no idea on what ground I was founded / All of that goodness is going with you now / Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted “Silver Springs” – Fleetwood Mac Time cast its spell on you, but you won't forget me / I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me / I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you / You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you

Depression

“From Eden” – Hozier Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago / Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword / Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know / I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door “Your Best American Girl” – Mitski You're the sun, you've never seen the night / But you hear its song from the morning birds / Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star / But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds “How I get Myself Killed” – Indigo De Souza Did you say anything on the night of my first hit / On the night of my first kiss / On the night of my first runaway / Something must be up, I have never felt so dumb / I have never gone so numb / I have never been so late before / This is probably how I get myself killed “Me And My Dog” – Boygenius I wanna be emaciated / I wanna hear one song without thinking of you / I wish I was on a spaceship / Just me and my dog and an impossible view / I dream about it / And I wake up falling “Lilac Wine” – Nina Simone When I think more than I want to think / Do things I never should do / I drink much more that I ought to drink / Because it brings me back you… / Lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love / Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, like my love / Listen to me... I cannot see clearly / Isn't that he coming to me nearly here? “Promise” – Laufey I made a promise / To distance myself / Took a flight, through aurora skies / It hurts to be something / It's worse to be nothing with you “Not Strong Enough” – Boygenius I don't know why I am / The way I am / Not strong enough to be your man / I tried, I can't / Stop staring at the ceiling fan and / Spinning out about things that haven't happened / Always an angel, never a god / I don't know why I am the way I am / There's something in the static / I think I've been having revelations / Coming to in the front seat, nearly empty / Skip the exit to our old street and go home

Acceptance

 “Unknown/Nth” – Hozier You know the distance never made a difference to me / I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea / Ignored the vastness between all that can be seen / And all that we believe / So I thought you were like an angel to me “Waiting Room” – Phoebe Bridgers And I can wish all I want, but it won't bring us together / Plus I know whatever happens to me / I know it's for the better / I want to make you drive all night just because I said maybe you should come over / I want to make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents teenage daughter / She'll be the best you ever had if you let her / I know it's for the better… “Night Shift” – Lucy Dacus Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth, call you a bitch and leave? / Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet? / What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands? / I feel no need to forgive but I might as well / But let me kiss your lips so I know how it felt / Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down / Walk for hours in the dark feeling all hell / Don't hold your breath, forget you ever saw me at my best / You don't deserve what you don't respect / Don't deserve what you say you love and then neglect / Now bite your tongue, it's too dangerous to fall so young / Take back what you said / Can't lose what you never had “I Guess” – Mitski I guess, I guess / I guess this is the end / I'll have to learn / To be somebody else / It's been you and me / Since before I was me / Without you I don't yet know / Quite how to live

[naoa-ao3]

Burning My Back

John ran into a man from his marine days in a diner and they stopped to talk.

"Long time no see." The man says. His name is Jim. John remembers him. He was a few years older than he was. Jim looks older. More so than he should. He asks John about his life. "You got a family?" He asks.

John nods. "Two boys. All grown up now." He says.

Jim smiles. "Sounds nice. I ain't got any. Wife and I tried but. . ." He shook his head and John understands. "Probably for the best anyhow."

John gives him an encouraging look but Jim just smiles and shakes his head. "You know I stayed on and did two more tours after you got discharged. Got myself up to corporal." He says. "Thought I'd make a career out of it. I wasn't good at anything else." John feels for him. "That didn't happen. Explosion got me hurt. Hurt got me discharged." Jim shrugs. "So I came home and got hitched." He stares off into the distance. "I think I scare the wife. I know I did when I first got married. Used to get so mad. Littlest damn thing would set me off. Sometimes nothing. I used to scream and break things. Hit her once or twice even." He looks as though he feels deep shame for that. John's torn between thinking he should and knowing it's unfair to blame him. "By all rights she should have left me but she didn't. She said we'd get through it and you know what? We did. For the longest time we did. We even tried for a few kids." A look of great sadness passed over his face. "Never could though." He pauses and grins at John. "But I guess that's for the best. Lately I've been getting bad again." His smile disappears. "I keep smelling the jungle. I haven't smelled that in years. When I first got back I'd wake up with the smell of napalm in my nose. You ever woke up with that?"

John says he has. When he first got back he spent a few months where he couldn't get the smell out of his system. He has to think now about what it smelled like and suddenly he can remember clear as day. Jim sees this on his face and knows. He smiles sadly. Apologetically.

"What about your wife?" Jim asks.

"Dead." And suddenly it's not napalm or jungle he can smell it's the smoke and ash of his house burning. He can feel the smoke in his throat and lungs and his eyes tear up just a little like he's still trying to see through it. He can almost feel the heat. And he can feel the hatred and worry he'd felt that night. "House fire. Arson."

Jim makes a sympathizing face which is nice but of course he can't really sympathize because that's not the really the truth. "They catch the guy?" He asks.

John shakes his head. "No."

"Any idea who it was?"

John nods and suddenly he thinks that maybe he can tell Jim because odds are that he'll never see the man again and he's so far off the radar that anything he says can't be traced back to him. "I know who it was." He says firmly. "Bastard came after my son. My baby son."

Jim's eyes go wide and he grits his teeth. "Men like that ain't men." Of course he has no idea why Yellow Eyes was after Sam but John lets him fill in the blanks and believe what he wants cause really it doesn't matter.

Then Jim leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "You go after him John?"

John gives him a long hard look and nods.

"You get him John?"

"Not yet."

And Jim nods, he can respect a man doing everything he can to protect his children. And really that's what John's doing. He's got some idea of what Yellow Eyes plans and he wants to keep Sam from it. Damn kid doesn't understand and he's too afraid to tell him the truth. It's so awful he wants to just stop it before Sam ever has to know. And Dean, well he knows he Dean loves his little brother and maybe it's not fair to expect him to protect Sammy like that but that's the way it is. There's a lot of bad in the world and if he could kill it all before it touches his kids he would but he can't and so he'll teach his kids to kill it too. To protect themselves.

"You be careful going after someone like that." Jim says.

John nods. "I am."

"You close to getting him?"

"Getting closer."

They pause a moment and John wonders if he's like Jim a little. Maybe it wasn't Vietnam that got him, maybe it was the fire. He doesn't like the thought but he thinks it must be true. He can almost always feel the flames on his back. Feel the rage towards Yellow Eyes. Feel the desire to save his children, even if it means hurting them in the process. Because he can handle them hating him, it hurts but if it's what keeps them alive in the process he's willing to do it.

Jim looks away and then back. "You ever feel out of place, John? Like you can't find anyone to talk to?"

John doesn't nod because nodding feels self pitying and he's not a man who likes to indulge in that. But he does know what Jim is talking about.

"Didn't think about it for years." Jim says. "Then I went to a buddy's funeral a year ago and it was like someone pulled the plug. I kept smelling the jungle and feeling the heat. Even when it's cold I feel it. Ain't been this bad since I first got back."

At the mention of Heat John feels a searing heat on his back. Maybe he is like Jim and has something bad he can't get out of his system. Maybe it was the fire that got him. Just like the war got Jim. He doesn't like the thought.

[nathank77]

10/8/24

8:56 p.m

It may sound selfish but idc. I don't want a dog. I'm not over Nala. I'm not ready bc of Nala. I'm not ready bc of my ocd.

Let's pretend my mom can't deal with the living room kennel... and we rehome her. All my clothes will be poison ivy for at least a year. Poison ivy will be everywhere for a long time..

The poop and urine can be cleaned.... that part will go away. That would be nice.

I just don't understand how she thinks this will work. I have to shit 3 times in the morning like a train coming into the station. I don't have time to walk a dog at 8:30 a.m. I'm pooping then. Cooking takes me time. And now much more time bc of her.

My anxiety is through the roof. And I'm just fed up with it. Riley would snuggle up in bed with someone and be obedient and good. She is a good dog. But I'm just not the right guy. I worry about anyone entering the house... i worry she will attack someone.

Beyond that I have a lot of mental health recovery to go through and she makes everything worse...... like... I'm still hallucinating and having nightmares. I'm still ocd af.

I have medical issues... and I really truly need to focus on me. A German shepherd is a family dog. They require a lot of attention. I've never owned a dog that requires so much attention.

I just want to focus on me.

My mom doesn't realize her Christmas tree is going to be a baseball batting tent. Like her stuffed animals are going to get torn to shreds. Don't get me wrong you can say no... but she does require supervision

She's truly not a bad dog. She's actually a really good dog. And she deserves a family. Not a disabled guy making her lick cancer gloves. Not a slum yard. No one is willing to put the work in.

I can't start mowing the lawn. Not now.... I'm washing my dishes. I'm taking out my trash. I'm cleaning the toilet SEAT. I'm cleaning the shower. I'm cleaning the bathroom floors. I'm cleaning the bathroom rugs. All these things I couldn't do before my mom went to the hospital.

But it's one step at a time. I can't mow this lawn... I can't keep scraping shit out of shoes. I did the best i could but even the "clean," ones there is still shit wedged in them. I'm covered in dog hair..

I always feel gross and I just want to invest in me and my mother. My mother is not the dog. I want to invest in my mental health and go to prime house IF SHE EVER COMES HOME. And I want to spend more time with her and watch movies.

I can't watch movies with a dog shitting in front of my seat. I can't clean it.

If I ever have a baby... by that time I'll have to adjust to a lot of things but all the other things I'll be adjusted to by then.

Tbh I don't really want any dog ever again. I'd get a tiny dog maybe in a decade or so. And id have a nice yard. And id give her baths at petco and id play with her and all that but I have to be ready.

I'm sick of my ocd developing more complexed compulsive behaviors. I'm sick of smelling shit.

I hope she can't handle it. These shits are huge. The piss is a lake. And I mean I'm really not over Nala.

I'm not over her. I mean it when I say that. I let her asshole on my jeans and it bothered me. But i loved her so much. I mean her tongue went between my lips a couple times bc I ate food and she was sneaky lol and it grossed me out. But like I'm not ready for that kind of love with another dog.

Nala was so chill and adorable. She was a lap dog. She was perfect for me. If she was still here and Riley wasn't i wouldn't be talking about any of this. Cause she wouldn't run all over the yard. She wasn't dangerous to anyone. She was as sweet as pie.

I can't say enough how much I love Nala and how for right now I want her to be my last dog especially since I have psychosis and I'm still suffering from auditory hallucinations.

[altagraye]

Big Big Love part 13

Maia age:28 appearance: 10 weeks pregnant (7 weeks after ch 12) 

Dean age:35 

Sam age:31 

Roslyn age: 3 

Quote: 

"I'm made of bad, bad, bad, bad blood." 

-'Bad Blood.' - Welshly Arms. 

TW!: cussing, medical terms, miscarriage scare, plot twists.

Ch 13: Bad Blood 

Sam: 

I couldn't keep Maia off my mind as Dean and I strolled down isle after isle of the supermarket. She's had a rough couple of weeks since she told us she was pregnant. She can hardly get out of bed, she's so fatigued. It makes me worry, a lot. Eating is difficult too, the vomiting is unpredictable and violent. Being unable to help her is the worst feeling. I don't know how Dean did it, it must've torn him apart when Ros came. A whole day and a half of merciless agony just to have her bleed out like that? No wonder he went insane. I pray a lot, hopefully this time it won't be so bad on her but that isn't looking likely. Dean and I have been through every medical 'Mega textbook we have twice and three times over. Nothing mentions symptoms as bad as what she has. Cas has even tried his powers on her but still nothing comes of it. I hate leaving her, Dean too. But between the both of us we need to get her something she can viably eat. 

She's more visible now, and we've been keeping track of how far along she is. Today, makes ten weeks. I love putting my hand on her belly. I still think about Jo and my other pup sometimes. But when I do think about them it just makes me hurt so I stuff it down. I never thought that I'd be able to be blessed with, Maia. I'm so happy that I'm actually scared, of letting down my guard.  I just want to hold her close to me and not let go, ever. Even if there's a chance that the pup isn't mine, I'd still be just as happy. Just having Maia, forever, is more than enough. I thought Dean and I wouldn't get along so well with our new circumstances. but it has been easier than I initially thought. Sometimes we get in nothing arguments when we aren't around Maia. Just to let off Alpha steam and stress because neither of us can help our Omega. 

Like now, seeing Dean shove half the contents of the ethnic isle into the cart is pissing me off. Last time he made spaghetti and meatballs for her, a few nights ago, she couldn't keep it down long enough. I leaned over in the cart and grabbed the box of spaghetti and put it back on the shelf. He turned around with a jar of vodka sauce, down in and noticed it was gone. 

"What the fuck, man? We need that." Dean said getting aggravated. I rolled my eyes and pushed the cart further on down the aisle, passing him. 

"No we don't, she can't even eat it anymore. It was working for a while but not now. We need to find something else." I said biting my tongue, trying to control the anger bubbling up within me. 

"Oh 'cuz you're so smart? You have any other suggestions?" Dean said, leaving the item. 

"No, more like trial and error." I told my older brother not knowing what to do. So far, she's been able to stomach PB & J sandwiches and occasional plain rice. Now that we were stocked up on that I was ready to leave. I needed to comfort her, my wife.  

Dean exhaled, looking over what we had. "Trial and error sucks all kinds of ass. How is it so different from when she had Roslyn?" He asked out loud. 

"Don't know. I heard It's different from pup to pup anyway. I think we're done here. Let's go home." I needed to curl up with Maia. I need to know she's okay. If she's alone and debilitated and suffering... just thinking about it kills me. We paid for our mountain of an overflowing cartful. That's $300 down. Charlie giving us these cards with the infinite amount of cash is a God-send. If Dean and I had to work with Maia in her state, that's be horrible. Not that I'm opposed to working or Dean either, but she just needs both of us. I piled the groceries into the back seat of the Impala and got in the passenger side. Dean revved Baby's engine. I combed a hand through my hair, still thinking of my Omega, shaking in our shared bed, unable to find comfort.  

I was snapped out of my thought process, Dean's hand making contact with my chest, patting it. 

"Cheer up Champ, you're gonna be a great Dad." he said checking the rearview mirror so he could back up. Dean hates these smaller parking spaces, especially since driving the Impala is equivalent to driving a boat on land. His compliment took me by surprise. 

"Thanks, but, what makes you so sure it's mine?" I asked him seriously flashing a weak smile. My thoughts festering further. We exited the parking lot, Dean focused on driving for a few seconds, checking his surroundings so he could make a turn. 

"Well, technically you slid into home base first." His eyes flashing to me for a second, then going back to the road. 

"But I know you're hoping It's yours." I said admitting what he didn't want to. My attention focusing on the scenery around us, the woods being particularly peaceful in the morning dew. 

"What? Nah! I got my hands full with Roslyn." He was saying one thing and thinking another. If there was one person Dean couldn't fool, it's me. I've known him like that back of my hand for way too long. He and I knew that. We were silent the rest of the way there. Dean helped me carry in the groceries through the garage. It was weird not hearing a hello from Maia. But it was highly likely that she didn't want to strain her voice from our bedroom. The Bunker is massive after all.  

My heart sunk when Roslyn came out of nowhere, visibly upset and crying hysterically. Her face all red from screaming and crying. This behavior was unusual even for her. She doesn't scare or get upset easy, Dean thinks she might present as an Alpha when she gets older. She doesn't throw toddler fits to get her point across so seeing her like this was scaring the Hell out me and Dean tenfold.  

Dean got down to her level, kneeling, and she gave him the biggest little bear hug. He cradled her head in his chest.  

"Hey Troublemaker. What has you so spooked, baby?" He asked her. In between big drops of tears and sniffles she responded in her classic pup-talk. 

"Mama hurt. Fall down." And continued to cry. Dean gave me concerned look, kissed her forehead and called out for Cas. I bolted down the hallway. This is the worst and most typical thing that could have happened. Murphy's law gets me every chance it gets, without fail. From what I could hear, Cas came and Dean ordered him to take Ros away and keep her safe. He didn't need her in any more distress.  

I found Maia, collapsed down onto the kitchen floor. Her head had a pretty good sized gash from the fall. I didn't smell any blood coming from below her so a miscarriage is unlikely. I turned her on her back, pressing two fingers into her neck to check her pulse. It's weakened. I started to tear up. Why does this shit always happen to us? We can't ever catch a break. I don't know what's wrong. I tried calling her by her dynamic, desperate for her to answer. 

"Omega!" Nothing. I heaved her up into my grasp. We need to go to the E.R. That's a good hour's drive from the Bunker. Dean came rushing in, seeing me carry her limp form. "She won't wake up. I-I don't know why." He had a mile-long stare, not breaking his sight from our shared lover. He grabbed the Impala keys out of his jean-pocket. 

"Jesus-Christ." He uttered to the situation. I piled into the backseat with her propped up against my chest. I re-examined her head wound. I think it's shallow enough for me to heal it. We departed down the highway, full throttle, as I began to lick at her wound.  

Sam: 

Dean opened the front door to the E.R. I couldn't move my feet fast enough. I checked her pulse multiple times on the way over, it got a little better but she was still unresponsive. Dean stopped at the front desk for credentials. I was able to set Maia down in room number three, when Dean joined up with us. One Beta nurse came in to check on her. They were low staffed today.  

"Sir, you need to wait outside, there's a waiting room around the corner on your left." He started to explain.  

"No. He stays. We're staying." Dean came to my defense. the Beta nurse looked confused and a bit annoyed. I'm guessing he wasn't fond of Alphas. The beta nurse continued to hook her up to machines. he stripped her shirt, put an IV in her arm on my side of her. Put one of those pulse and oxygen readers on her index finger. A canula in her nostrils even though he said she was breathing pretty well on her own. He adjusted the setting to low.  

"This facility has a 'one mate per patient' policy. Someone has to go." Now I was getting irate. There's no way I or Dean was going to leave this room. I flipped my wrist over and scrunched up my sleeve showing the persistent Beta my mark. Dean rolled his eyes, a bit embarrassed but followed suit. The Beta was unphased.  

"Welcome to the club, Alphas. I have a tramp stamp with my partner too. Nothing new, fellas."  

"Ugh, Gross! It's not like that at all. Look dumbass." Dean showed him Maia's Triskelion. And the Beta scanned over the room, looking at all three of us. He shrugged. 

"Whatever floats your banana boat. I don't judge. I'm just here for the health insurance benefits. no I'm just kidding. I actually like helping stupid knot-heads like you guys. Shame too, pretty boy." He pointed in my direction. I was not in the mood to have some Beta flirt with me, especially since I didn't swing that way anyhow. Even though being marked by the Triskelion didn't make it look that way.  

"Shut your mouth and do your job." I told him. He shrugged again and went over to a closet to get another instrument. 

He put a band around her belly, listened and watched another monitor. where he placed it, a strong rhythm was heard. It almost made me cry, but I stuffed it down. That's a sound I wasn't able to hear with Jo. I don't think I've heard something so wonderful before. I looked at Dean across from me, smiling up a storm. I couldn't help but smile back. The Beta furrowed his brow and pursed his lips, confused. He moved the hockey puck sized circle to the right two inches. The beating changed, more faint, strained. My heart sunk again. I couldn't stop my nerves, my boot kept making annoying little sounds on the waxed linoleum floors. My leg shaking like a leaf. That weak heart beat wasn't good. I kept biting at my nails and staring at the Beta. He made a hmph sound and put his hands on his hips. 

"What?" Dean asked, getting just as impatient as I felt.  

"I'm gonna need another cuff. There's two buns in this oven. Someone's been busy." he said leaving the room to retrieve another instrument. I could have slapped myself. This whole time I thought there was only one pup. I never considered the possibility of twins. The Beta came back with another cuff and put it on the previous spot. I listened closely. The drumming was still weakened. My lip started to quiver and I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.  

Dean noticed it too and put on a brave face for me. But I knew I could see in his eyes he was breaking slowly. Maia, why aren't you awake?  

"Alright, the sonographer should be in soon to check on all that." The Beta gesticulated to Maia's belly like it was a mess he didn't want to deal with. He made me growl, I want his ass fired. Dean was just as pissed at him as I was, if not more probably. But he kept his composure for now.  

"Hey, what was your name again?" Dean asked squinting his eyes and tilting his head. Dean is going to get his name, and give him a piece of his mind on his lunch break, away  from cameras and people, so that he doesn't get arrested for Alpha/Beta battery.  

"Hugo. Hugo Riviera." He told Dean. Dean gave him a huge fake smile and thanked him. When the door was closed and Hugo walked away, Dean broke his demeanor. 

"Hugo, is a dick-bag. I'm gonna enjoy pounding his asshole Beta face in a bench." He nodded to himself thinking his decision to do so was a good idea. I gave my brother a weak smile. Dean leaned over to Maia's head and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She still isn't awake.  

"I dunno if you can hear me, 'Mega, but. You've got two pups to fight for, alright? Sammy and I love you. We love you so much. You gotta wake up soon, sweetheart." He told her sleeping form stroking her fingers with his thumb and pressing the back of her hand to his lips. he stared at her belly as I grabbed onto her hand on my side of her through the raised bedrails. I rested my forehead on the cold rails, listening to the two rhythms, the one closest to me- a lead singer. The one closer to Dean- a backup that's running out of breath.  

We sat listening to them, mulling over the predicament.  

"Sammy? The one heartbeat is scaring the shit out of me." Dean confessed his voice starting to crack. I lifted my head off the rail and ran my fingers through my hair, my eyes glossy and my nose running.  

"Me too Dean." There was a knock at the door and a Beta woman came in pulling a mobile sonogram machine behind her. She was oddly and disgustingly very chipper.  

"Hello! My name is Sarah, I'll be taking care of your Omega today. Aw, are you two having a moment? I can come back in a few minutes." She suggested sensing my and Dean's emotions. I got up, moving out of her way so she could bring her machine over and look at the pups.  

"No, please. Come in." I told her. Sarah shrugged and closed the door.  

"Alrighty then" she said and brought her machine close to Maia, checked to make sure she had all her supplies and turned off the light. She lifted up Maia's shirt and took off the cuffs. Sarah squeezed out some gel onto her stomach and pressed the imaging wand on Maia. Sarah, still paying attention to her screen, moving the wand around and pressing a button on her machine to capture what she was seeing.  

"So, who's the lucky man? Daddy to be?" She tried to break the ice. Dean and I hesitated as she snapped more pictures.  

"Uh, we're not sure, exactly." I said rubbing my thumb into my sweaty palms. Sarah raised an eyebrow. 

"Is that so? Well, no worries. I'm sure you'll find out soon." She told us before making an excited gasp. 

"Why hello there little kumquat. See, right as rain." She turned the monitor screen so we could get a better look. I could just make out the outline of human features, so tiny but definite. I had to remember to take a breath in. Dean spoke up next. 

"Isn't there supposed to be two? Where's the other one? I only see one circle...thing." Dean struggled to find the proper name for placenta.  

"Oh, you mean placenta? The other one is in there. Let me just scoot on over here. There we go. It's common for twins to have separate placentas, most people get scared when they don't see another pup right next to the first one. but it's perfectly normal. Hmmmm, how far along did you say she was?" Sarah said, concern showing in her voice as she hovered over the second pup, visibly smaller than the one we just saw.  

"10 weeks." Dean and I said simultaneously.  

"What a funky dunk. You, little walnut are supposed to be the same size as your womb-mate. Hehe sorry I don't get to make that joke often. There's plenty of room to grow and it's still early so I don't know why there's such a size difference. Pup A, the kumquat is the proper size. But, Pup B, looks like it's stuck in week 7. Has your mate been eating properly?"  She asked. 

" Actually, no. It's hard for her to stomach most foods. This isn't her first pregnancy and it's way different from her last one. the vomiting is ruthless. Today we went to the store to shop for foods she could eat. when we came home we found her.. knocked out." I explained exchanging looks with Dean on occasion. 

"Aww that sounds horrible. Well, we'll get her some pills that will help with the nausea. Little Walnut needs to grow big and strong like your brother or sister. I'll get these images to the on-site OBGYN asap. She'll know more about why this is happening and will explain it in detail. Alrighty Momma all done. You need to wake up though. Do you guys want a copy?" Sarah asked wiping the gel off our mates' stomach. Sarah put the cuffs back on and turned the light back on, making me wince from the sudden brightness.  

"Yeah we'll take a copy." Dean said.  

"Sure thing. No problem. Congratulations, sirs." she told us as she left. I got back up and moved to my side when the door closed again.  we sat there for about an hour before the doctor came in. 

Dean: 

All these waiting games were killing me. I need straightforward answers but most of all I need Maia to wake the fuck up. I thought just hearing the different heart beats scared the shit out of me. Seeing the size difference made me want to break something in the room. Thankfully the doctor who came in to talk to us sounded like she was a no-nonsense chick. I was thoroughly fed up with Sarah and especially that Hugo bastard.  

The Doc came in and sat in between Me and Sammy, at the foot of Maia's bed.  

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jennifer Janey. I saw the pictures. And there is one thing that comes to mind if my calculations are correct. You guys are the threesome right?" she introduced herself briefly and shook our hands, pretty firm for a woman, must be an Alpha. A flash of annoyance came over me as I stood leaning over Maia's bed railing. My ass was aching from being numb, sitting all this time. 

"You know how wrong that sounds, right?" I told her. 

"Sorry, word travels fast here, especially with Hugo- the-Gossip-queen. Sorry about him. Look I don't want to beat around the bush here. I know what that mark means. How much of a time gap was it when you three had sex?" A chill ran up my spine making me squirm a little. I hate this mark making everyone think we screwed Maia at the same time. Ugh. Sammy spoke up first. 

"Uh. Okay. I had sex with her first." he scratched the back of his head, he was embarrassed to talk about this.  

"Did your knot lock?" She asked shamelessly. Sam started to blush but nodded. Dr.Janey made a mental note before swiveling in her chair to face me. 

"Later that night, I screwed her too. What does this have to do with anything?" I asked wanting to replace the word screwed with raped. I had no control over my black-eyed self. I just didn't care, I stole what I wanted and what I wanted I got. I frowned remembering the bruises I'd left on her.  

"Knot?" She asked. The question snapping me out of my deep thought process.  

"Yeah, more than once." I said. She looked at me more intensely. 

 "Alright, I lost count once I hit five." Confessing something that Sammy didn't even know yet. he gave me a pissed off look realizing just how rough with Maia I had to be to get to that point. 

"the truth shall set you free. Although rare, there's a condition that happens when two different males, have sex with a heated Omega in a short period of time. It's called Hetero-paternal Superfecundation." she paused to make sure we were following. 

I leaned over the rail more, "Did you just quote Mary Poppins?"  

"Hetero-what?" Sam asked equally confused. If Brainiac didn't know what she was talking about then this had to be extraordinary. She exhaled getting aggravated with us. 

"No. It's called Hetero-paternal Superfecundation. When you had sex the first time, an egg released like normal, your swimmer attached itself to that egg, making Pup A. later that night, your mate was still fertile-myrtle when you, had sex with her. She released another egg and your swimmer attached itself to it, making Pup B." she explained looking both of us in the eyes and switching her eye contact between Sammy and I as she talked. 

"The pups inside your mate right now are half siblings. Two differently fathered pups in the same batch, essentially." she ended. 

"Holy crap. I'm a father." Sam said, shock clear on his face. And so am I, again. 

"How does this explain the different sizes? And why won't our mate wake up? Is she, sick?" I said needing to sit back down.  

"That's what I'm stumped on. I'm sorry I don't have all the answers. Somethings just happen. You two look exhausted. Why don't you grab yourselves something to eat at the cafeteria and think things through? Hopefully your wife will be awake by then. Congratulations, guys." She said as she shook our hands again and left. I rubbed my forehead and sighed. Why does the weirdest shit always happen to us? I kissed Maia's hand again and headed for the door.  

"I need some fucking pie. You comin'?" I asked Sammy staring at Maia's stomach for a moment. Sam didn't answer me but stood up anyway. Maia doesn't look like she's going to wake up in the next thirty minutes. we'll eat and be back in no time.  

I finished my slice of pumpkin pie mulling over the Docs words. Two pups inside her with two different fathers. I'm excited to be a Dad again but I can't help but wonder who's is the weaker one? That terrifies me. What if it dies? Walking back to Maia's room I overheard an obnoxious conversation and recognized it to be that ass-hat Hugo. Good he's on lunchbreak. My time to give him a face-lift. I started to walk closer to his direction, Sammy tagging along but not as invested as I was. I shoved my hands in my front pockets, acting casual. 

"I know right? Have you heard about the admission in room three? What a circus show! I mean they're brothers and that omega's pregnant with both their pups at the same time! What a typical Omega whore. How much of a slut do you have to be, am I right?" Said Hugo to one of his co-workers. On the inside I was boiling but I kept my composure as best as possible.  

"Hey, Hugo, right? We need to talk." I took the collar of his blue scrubs and heaved him out of his chair. the Beta gave a whimper. Sam heard what he said too, patting Hugo on the back and whispering something in his ear. 

"You're going to choke on those words, asshole." He told him.  

I pushed him out of the double doors, sending his worthless ass to the pavement where he belonged. Sam picked him up  holding his head up for me to swing. 

"So Hugo, what did you call our wife again?" I asked cracking my knuckles. He whimpered. 

"I didn't mean it, honest! You two have a wonderful mate. A real peach." He tried to weakly defend himself. 

"C'mon, nobody likes liars. 'Course you meant it. Say it Beta, let me hear it again. Now!" I rose my voice and he flinched. 

"I called her a whore and a slut." His voice disappeared cowardly at the insults but it was more than enough for me. He yelped like the pussy he was when I cracked his nose. I gave him another on for good measure. Sam threw him to the ground, not being worth the effort to beat. I leaned over in his face.  

"Good Beta. Stay Beta. If I see your ass around her room again, I'll make sure you need a follow up with your dentist, alright?" I told him. He nodded fervently.  

That was a fun let off of steam but worry still festered in the back of my mind. We made it back to Maia's room when I saw Sarah in there with her, the tech from earlier. Maia's stomach was exposed and Sarah was mumbling something to it. Major red flags.  

Sam and I entered her room, trying to catch Sarah off guard.  Sam closed the door behind us making her jump. What the fuck are you up to, little weasel? She turned around trying to recover Maia's stomach.  

"Hi guys. Back so soon?" she asked.  

"Oh that's not how this works, bitch. Don't act like we didn't just see that. why are you here?" I am done with everybody's shit today. 

"I thought I forgot something. but I didn't so I'll leave." she said shuffling her feet. When Sam reached for her, she held out a hand, pinning us to the walls behind us. She slowly pulled Maia's shirt up, revealing her small bump. I couldn't break free. 

"I should call DCF on you two. Abusing your child while it's still in the womb. How cruel, even for a gal like me." she blinked her eyes, black as coal. Demon. Fuck.  

"I expected you to catch on more quickly, Dean. I guess you really do love this Omega-harlot. Aww it's alright guys. She's in better hands now. I mean have you ever seen such a beautiful piece of Hell?" She caressed Maia's stomach and bent down, kissing her flesh.  

"Get your filthy hands off her!" Sam and I interjected simultaneously trying harder to break free, but nothing let up. 

"I'll make sure little walnut grows nice and strong. For behold darkness shall cover the Earth. As the old dick used to say."  

"What does a demon want with our mate?" Sam asked in an attempt to distract the black-eyed bitch. It was working. Sam and I were able to pry our heads away from the wall. 

"You Alphascan be so thick-headed. She's carrying the world's first were-cambion. Sired by a Knight of Hell. The intense pregnancy symptoms, the difference in sizes, the incapacitated 'Mega. Hell, I bet your angel hasn't been able to heal her either? That's why she's here. I'll make sure your pup gets proper care. Momma needs to down gallons of demon blood to catch up. Congratulations, suckers." Sarah touched Maia hand and vanished Maia disappearing with her.  

My and Sam's body's fell to the ground, being released from the demons grip. NO NO NO! this can't be happening. She's gone?! How did I not see this coming? Of course knotting Maia when I was south of the border would end up like this. This is my fault. it's always my fucking fault! I put my fist through the drywall. She's gone, because of me. Her life is in jeopardy again, because of me. Sam's pup is in danger too. I took the nearest chair and broke it over the corner of a wall when Sam's phone rang. What the fuck could it be now?! he answered, my chest was heaving and I ran my hands through the back of my hair. 

Sam's eyes widened, he put it on speaker so I could hear too. 

"Fret not young Anakin, Padme is safe with me. My apologies about Sarah, Sister-wives. She's new. Really I'm not the villain here. Your sweet little Omega needs some proper nutrients. Ta-ta for now, Papa-Moose and Papa-Squirrel."  

"CROWLEY?! I swear to fucking God, if she's not in one piece!-" the line clicked dead before I could get out another word. I let out a guttural growl, I could feel it in my bloodstream, I was turning feral. 

Maia: 

I couldn't smell anything. My whole body was sore so I groaned. My head ached like I had hit it on something. I yanked my arm up to try and nurse my throbbing skull but it wouldn't budge. My eyes opened, light flooding my vision. One of those huge hospital lights was above my head. I craned my neck down to see why I couldn't move off this gurney. Where was I? I was just about to make pancakes for Ros, right? My head panged, making me wince and slam my head back down to the softness below me.  

"Ugh, Dean? Sam? Alphas?!" I called out. I heard distinct clicks of dress-shoes come closer to me. And the scent of whiskey but very different, potent. and not Dean's. 

"Try not to squirm, Dear. You'll hurt your pups." Said the voice getting closer. his accent was thick and I didn't recognize the voice. This is bad, very bad. I started to cry, thinking that this was one of Felix's compadre's come for revenge. Wait, pups? How does this freak even know I'm pregnant? And how does he know I'm having two? Or, maybe more? He hovered over me, I squinted my vision focusing. The man smiled back at me eerily. 

"Hello, Darling. Pleasure finally meeting you. Dean wouldn't stop talking about you when he went on his hiatus. Crowley's the name, King of Hell. Welcome home." 

End chapter 13. 

[fruitcoops]

Hi!! So I was listening to paper rings by Taylor Swift today and the lyric 'I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings' made me think of coops and o'knutzy. Could you write a prompt about this?! <3

This song is so perfect for Coops and it’s the best way to start of the long-awaited wedding series! Yay! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Combined with:

1. Domestic Coops

2. Remus making fun of Sirius’ initials

3. Sirius trying to make Remus moan while he’s on the phone with his folks

4. From @colored-rain: Taking Hattie to the vet

TW for mild smutty content, taking a pet to the vet, and the inherent stress of wedding planning

I: Six Weeks Before the Wedding

“Where are we even going to do this?” Sirius asked, running a hand through his hair.

Remus shook his head silently, pressing his forehead into the wooden edge of the table. “What if we elope?”

“Celeste would skin us both.”

“True. Oh, god, my dad would cry if we did that.” Remus slid down in his seat and stared up with sad eyes. “Can’t we just be married already?”

“I could get tinfoil from the kitchen and just…” Sirius mimed wrapping it around his ring finger and Remus snorted.

“Baby, I would marry you with paper rings, but I think we want them to last.”

“You like shiny things!”

“I do, that doesn’t mean I want tinfoil on my hand for the rest of my life,” Remus laughed, pulling him in for a quick kiss. “Alright, let’s go through our list again. We agreed on small, right?”

“Just the team and families. We still want it to be outside?”

“Yep.” Remus checked off two boxes on the piece of paper they had been grappling with for the past four days. “Rings have already been ordered?”

“I’m doing that this afternoon. What kind of cake do we want?”

“Uhhh…an edible one?” Remus shrugged. “I don’t have a huge preference. Chocolate is really good but all the ones from the store are spongy.”

“Wow, an edible cake, so original,” Sirius teased. “We can ask Celeste what she thinks.”

“Good plan.” He paused for a moment. “Where outside will we do it? We need an actual venue. I think people would be upset if we just had a wedding in a public park.”

“The media would be all over it, too.” Sirius scrunched his nose up in thought just as their timer went off and both sighed as they headed for the door. “It’s going to be hard to focus on practice when we know next to nothing about the wedding we’ve been planning for over six months.”

“We’re disasters.”

II: Four Weeks Before the Wedding

“We’re not putting that on the cards.”

“Why not?” Sirius frowned and looked down at the mock-up invitation. “It’s our initials. It’s cute.”

Remus blinked at him. “Sirius. Your initials.”

“Do you not want my initials on our joint wedding invitation?”

“I would love to have your initials on our joint wedding invitation, except for the part where it’s the same acronym as ‘son of a bitch’.”

Sirius paused, then groaned and put his hands over his face. “Fuck, I forgot about that.”

“You forgot your own initials?”

“I forgot the son of a bitch thing!”

“Okay, I clearly don’t tease you enough for that,” Remus snickered, wrapping an arm around his waist to kiss his cheek. “Alright, attempt number eight is a bust.”

III: Three Weeks Before the Wedding

Sirius ran his fingers gently through Remus’ hair, feeling him shift in the darkness. “What’s on your mind, mon amour?”

“Are we changing our last names?”

“Did we…not discuss that?” Sirius wracked his brain, but it was so exhausted from wedding topics that he came up empty.

“I don’t think so.” Remus scooted around so he was on his side, facing Sirius. “Both our names are super connected to our jobs. Plus, Lupin-Black might be a little long for jerseys.”

“I’d rather not go through the whole name-change process.” There was a beat of quiet. “Though I do like the sound of Sirius Lupin.”

Remus’ breath audibly caught and he leaned closer to Sirius, nuzzling against his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

IV: Eighteen Days Before the Wedding

Remus’ back hit the mattress with a soft bounce that was quickly stilled by Sirius’ weight pressing him down by the hips, his mouth skimming along all the right places on Remus’ neck. “Yes,” he hissed as Sirius ground down, their bare chests bumping together. He dipped his hands beneath the waistband of Sirius’ sweats and he shivered, nipping the hinge of his jaw.

“Wait,” Sirius gasped, pulling back to straddle Remus’ waist.

“What? Is this a flamingo moment?” Remus panted, still buzzing with arousal.

“Did we invite your parents to the wedding?”

Remus stared at him in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I don’t think we did.”

“Sirius, you are literally about to—holy fuck, did we invite my parents?”

“I don’t know!”

Remus groaned and let his head fall back against the pillows before tapping Sirius’ hip and swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and dialed his mother’s number, taking a few deep breaths to collect himself as it rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, mom, how’s it going?”

“Oh, it’s going fine out here. How’s wedding planning?” Hope asked. Remus could hear her smiling.

“That’s what I’m calling about, actually. Did you—” He bit his lip as Sirius’ fingertips trailed up his thigh. “Uh, did you get an invitation?”

Hope was silent for a moment, save for a few rustling sounds. “Now that you mention it, I don’t think so. Lyall! Honey, did Re send us a wedding invitation?” There was a low humming noise as his father responded. “He says we didn’t get one.”

Remus winced. “Sorry about that. I can text you the details, if you want.”

“Will you mail one as well? I want to put it in our memory box.”

Sirius’ hand slid further along Remus’ leg, growing closer to his inner thigh by the second and doing nothing to quell his frayed nerves. “Yeah—yeah, mom, we totally can.”

“Are you alright? You sound a bit out of breath.”

“Hattie was running around and being a little crazy.” Remus covered the speaker with his hand and turned to glare at Sirius, who grinned and kissed his cheekbone.

“Okay,” Hope sounded skeptical. “So you’re not getting sick or anything?”

“Nope. Healthy as a horse.” The last word came out a little breathless as Sirius licked a stripe up his neck and bit down on the junction to his shoulder, making Remus’ eyes flutter closed. He smacked Sirius’ hand halfheartedly and felt him grin.

“How’s Sirius doing?”

“Fine, he’s fine. We’re a little stressed with the wedding planning and everything, but things are good here.” Really good, he thought as the heel of Sirius’ hand pressed down just next to his dick. He swallowed down a moan and squeezed his eyes shut. “Alright, I’ll text the details to you this afternoon love you mom bye.”

“Love you t—”

A millisecond after the call ended, Remus slammed his phone into the nightstand and pushed Sirius into the sheets, bracketing his face with his elbows. “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m just keeping things interesting.” Sirius tugged his lower lip between his teeth and smirked, which really left Remus with only one option: kissing him senseless until he couldn’t even remember his own name.

V: Three Days Before the Wedding

Sirius’ leg bounced up and down nervously and he gripped Remus’ hand as they waited in the lobby of the vet’s office. “She’ll be okay.” His voice was noticeably higher than usual and he cleared his throat. “She’ll be fine. It’s just a cough.” A cough that’s been going on for four and a half days.

Remus hummed his agreement, though he hadn’t stopped twisting Hattie’s leash in his hands since they arrived. “Just a cough. Probably a cold, or—or something like that.”

The doors ahead opened and both of them stood as Hattie trotted out next to the vet tech, who looked rather amused. “What’s wrong with her?” Sirius asked, scanning her for any signs of illness. “Is she alright?”

“She is a very talented actress,” the vet said, rubbing Hattie behind the ears. She whined pitifully and cuddled into Sirius’ side. “Have you two been busy lately?”

“We’re planning for our wedding.” Remus looked as confused as Sirius felt. “Why?”

“Because Miss Hattie here is one of the healthiest, snuggliest dogs I’ve ever seen.”

“But she was coughing.”

“She was faking.” The vet knelt next to her and petted down her back, raising an eyebrow. “Weren’t you, munchkin?”

“Hattie!” Sirius exclaimed, torn between relief and shock. “You little monster!”

Remus frowned and tapped her forehead lightly as he slid her leash on over her head. “We were so worried about you! Why would you do that?”

“She’s probably been sulking because you’re busy with wedding stuff,” the vet said with a smile. “Quite the drama queen you’ve got there.”

“Tell me about it,” Sirius huffed as he kissed her head. “Don’t ever do that again, young lady. You’re in big trouble when we get home.”

“Thank you for your help,” Remus said, shaking the vet’s hand. “We really appreciate it and we’re so sorry for wasting your time.”

“Are you kidding? She was the best part of my day,” he laughed. “All the other techs can’t stop talking about Hattie cuddles now. Have a good one, you three.”

+1: The Lions, the Media, and the Locker Room

Word spread like wildfire in media circles, and the rumor mill had never worked harder once news of the Black-Lupin wedding came out.

Naturally, the Lions decided to have a little fun with it.

“Pots! Pots, what can you tell us about Black and Lupin’s wedding?” Four different microphones were shoved into his personal space, but James put on his best confused face.

“What wedding?”

A wave of murmuring spread through the reporters. “So you weren’t invited to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin’s wedding?”

“There’s a wedding?”

Across the room, two other interviewers mobbed Thomas Walker in his stall. “Talker, do you know anything about Black and Lupin’s wedding?”

“Who?” he asked with a perfect act of innocence.

“Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.”

He bit his lip. “I don’t think I know them, sorry. Are they fans?”

“Talkie!” Remus tossed him a towel from the adjacent stall, and he caught it with a grin.

“Heads up, Loops!” Talker threw it right back and headed toward the ice baths with a wink to the cameras. “Good chat, guys.”

One of the interviewers muttered under their breath and hurried over to Pascal, who was still unlacing his skates. “Dumo, when is the wedding between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?”

Dumo frowned. “Quoi?”

“The wedding. You were invited, yes?”

“Desole, je ne parle pas l’anglais,” he said regretfully. “C’est un…wedding?”

“Yes, the wedding between your teammates.”

“These words, I don’t know them.” His French accent was almost comically thick as he shook his head. “Desole.”

Out of view of the cameras, Sirius gave him a thumbs-up and reached over to high-five Pots.

[enha-woodzies]

➸ CHAPTER 10 | " AT LONG LAST PT. 2 "

starring: enhypen ft. daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 2.4k

taglist: @serendipitysung (betareader) @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @gyeraniee @fluffi @stxrryemxlys @jungwon-luv-bot-pt3 @lost-lepord-beanie @hyunsunge @hooniecore @thenoceurgirl @thonkingdeepo

[ PREV. CHAPTER ] | [ M. LIST ] | [ NEXT CHAPTER ]

One of the strangest things about love is that it will make you feel rooted one moment, then wavered by the next; all by the person whom you treated like your resting place — only for them to be tired of you in their next waking day. In Jungwon’s case, he didn’t feel threatened by the marquess’ efforts to acquire his girl. Despite Y/n’s plead to stop the unlabeled thing going on between them, Jungwon refused to feel daunted. So he did what he does best: expressing his sentiments in the form of written words��� the language of the unsaid.

The night Y/n ended things between them, Jungwon made a quick stop to their library to write down a few of the many things she did to him on the daily; it contained some of the uncountable things he wanted to say to her if she’d only listened. He poured out his heart, writing to the best of his ability with all the love and warmth she deserved, hoping his adoration would reach her if it wasn’t too late yet.

Crumpling away various parchments and scratching several more, he finally had it neatly tucked in between the pages of their favorite Jane Austen book she threw at him weeks prior. Before leaving the said book upon the large, round table in the center of the room, Jungwon topped it off with a little quote, once again, peeking from the worn-out cover of the antique novel.

“I will go if you need me to go, but bear in mind that I don’t want to leave. I have no other homeland but you. So I will patiently sit in the corner of your heart and wait for our time.”

If it weren’t for Jay’s knowledge about his friend’s almost parting gift, Y/n wouldn’t be rushing down their manor’s library with an eager yet tormented heart the day after. She immediately clasped the book, the repertoire of their precious memories and Jungwon’s poetic affection, the instant she saw it lying on the surface of her late father’s desk.

Y/n pulled out the tiny parchment with Jungwon’s last quote, putting down the book back on the wooden desk. She carefully muttered each word as if it was an ode, constantly bouncing in her mind back and forth.

Her heart found a bit of relief behind his written words, yet she still found it vague that he couldn’t face her and tell her himself. Y/n picked the book again and as she flicked through the pages, a small, handwritten envelope caught her attention. Her heart began to thump.

She gently tore the envelope open only to be welcomed by several folded papers brimming at the edge of the torn covering. Jungwon got her used to the underlined phrases and pieces of quotes, and almost nothing from Jungwon’s heart itself. And now suddenly, all the letters were about her, from the depths of her lover’s affection.

“Be still, my heart.” She whispered under her shaky breath.

My dearest Y/n,

We made quite a mess, don’t you think? Or rather, I did.

When I didn’t react to your efforts of reaching out,

I'm sure you thought I'd gone on or despised you.

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I just couldn’t

bring myself to say "hello" and risk another goodbye.

You wore your best dress that day we departed,

and you were there to watch me leave.

And all the times you let me in just for me to screw things up and leave again.

I’ve been trying to undo what I did to you by making amends.

I’m trying so hard, believe me.

Everything I said in the past and the phrases I underlined in attempts to confess to you,

They were all true.

I cannot stop thinking of you, my thoughts of you never end.

They’re so loud they prevent me from sleeping at night.

I’ve been restlessly rehearsing the words I’d tell you if time didn’t forbid.

But unfortunately, it appears that my time in your heart is up.

Truth be told, we were something, don’t you think?

I cannot shrug away the thought that we were nothing when

I could feel your calm breath against my heaving chest,

It felt like you were meant to reside there, in the warmth of my embrace.

I’m afraid I couldn’t bear myself to write more of these.

They don’t deserve to be kept in any longer.

If you still wish to talk to me and hear me out before giving your hand away,

Meet me in the Queen’s Garden at dusk tomorrow.

Jay has agreed to chaperone you there,

But he must leave us to ourselves when we reach the Catalpa tree.

Until then, I will remain in the state of waiting, for the last time.

— Forever yours, Jungwon

The awaited dusk came upon, and it was a shocker for Y/n that she rejected Sunghoon’s plea to spend the day together over an impulsive meeting with Jungwon. Jay helped lift his sister from the horse, firmly securing his grip on her corseted waist. Her heart was in a weary state; she feared it would be a cycle again of Jungwon acting out his affection and leaving her hanging when their moment’s up. She couldn’t trust him fully anymore, knowing he had recklessly wasted so much borrowed time and promises.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine? I can stay by the gazebo and wait for you.”

“It’s alright, Jay. Didn’t he promise you that he’d send me home? Ride safe, brother!”

Jay walked closer to her and draped his arm around her shoulder, planting a long, soft kiss on the crown of her head. “See you at home, sis.”

Y/n heaved a deep breath before taking baby steps towards the Catalpa tree where Jungwon had been lounging hours prior. With a heavy heart and romantic complications in mind, she stood in front of the lover she forced herself to detest; eyes never leaving his.

But Jungwon, being easily distracted by her tantalizing eyes, quickly averted his gaze to the grass he had been standing on. His confident stance stripped away though he mustered the courage to look at the beautiful pair, as the object of his affection gradually approached him.

“Why didn’t you come and talk to me yourself?”

“Would you have listened?” Y/n ran out of retorts as she was guilty enough, cutting Jungwon’s explanations that night in their garden.

The boy drew closer to her, softly lifting her resting hand to interlock it with his. “Y/n…” only to be shrugged away by the maiden.

“You must have gone crazy, coming here like this. Tell me, are you that desperate to impel your pride-”

“This is not about my pride! I-” Jungwon ran a hand through his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh, realizing what he just did. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice. It upsets me to know that you still think this is all for my ego, supposing you’ve read the letters I left you.”

“So you’ve been living in denial all these years?”

“I never meant to come between you and him.”

“Yet here we are. Someone’s caught in the middle, and it’s definitely not you, Jung.” The boy stared down at his worn-out boots, million-dollar thoughts running through his mind, yet he couldn’t find the ones he needed to say.

“Do you want me to start it off for you?” Y/n crossed her arms, trying her best to compose a cold approach to Jungwon, although the chap’s been looking unkempt like he hasn’t slept for days in every passing minute of their imminent bickering.

“Haven’t you gotten the letters?”

“I did.”

“Is there anything you want to say about it?” Y/n scoffed at the timid boy who was shattered by the lady’s callousness.

“You asked me to come here, Jungwon! All this time you’ve said nothing but a few words to me. Are you even serious right now?” She half-yelled in frustration.

“I’m trying to prevent myself from saying the wrong things.”

“You’ve barely been able to look me in the eye!”

“For the reason that I cannot bear witness to the misery I’ve caused you!”

Y/n gulped when she saw a tear grazing down Jungwon’s dimpled cheek. It was the first time she’d seen him cry in a long time, the last one being the day he left her for university five years ago.

“It pains me,” he stammered, breaths shaky as tears kept dripping down the grassy lawn. “It pains me to know that I’ve yet again, caused you another heartache. If there was anything I could do to bring back the hands of time, I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. If I could go back to when we were thirteen, on the exact day I left you for London, I would vow to you then and there that I will spend every lifetime with you when I get back.” Jungwon went on and on, eyes now fixated upon her sparkling orbs that reflected the full moon above them.

“But I was a stubborn, scared, idle bloke who’s now deserving of punishment. It’s long overdue, but I still think I deserve this, and I’m sorry. I’m tremendously sorry that it took your beautiful marquess to be caught in the middle of our mess for me to realize that you were my all and more. You are my all and more, Y/n. I couldn’t bear this any longer. My feelings will not be silenced this time, and I must let you hear of how I truly, madly, and deeply love you now more than ever. I’d hate myself for eternity if it came to the conclusion of having to lose the one real thing I’ve ever hoped for in this lifetime. If the mighty heavens don’t forbid us to love again, I swear I’d love you right.”

“Why are you telling me this now? You had all the chances, Jung. Why did it have to be in the most unsuitable moment where Mother and the Duke are preparing for the imminent wedding?!”

“Sometimes you don’t fully know the answer until someone’s breaking badly in front of you. I’m sorry, Y/n. But I’m here now, in all my glory, swallowing my pride, and laying my armor down if you choose to rather love than fight.”

Jungwon approached her. Too close until an inch of distance was left between them. His eyes had been watering with tears the entire time he was rambling his feelings, but he wiped her glistening tears away instead, bearing in mind that he’s making up for lost times. His face was mere inches away from hers, breaths fanning against each other as Y/n sniffs lightly with Jungwon’s nose bumping against hers.

“I love you, Y/n. My longing for you aches like piled-up bricks pushed against my chest, as my love for you burns, heavily and passionately, like a thousand suns set ablaze right before our very eyes. My heart is, and always will be, yours. You’ve imparted me this quote once from a book you found scattered around my room. ‘Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony’ and I had carved it into the depths of my soul, putting myself under the commitment of being worthy of your choice. I grew confident because I know you love me truly more than him.”

Jungwon raised her flimsy hand and kissed it with much intent before placing it around his shoulders and having his hand rest on the small of her back. With his other hand hanging freely to his side, he lifted it up to graze his gentle fingers upon the lady’s soft cheek, carefully taking in her satisfied reaction to his touch as she kept her eyes closed and her lips parted. Jungwon pulled her chin up with his forefinger, his thumb softly pinching it in the aftermath. He brushes his nose against hers, bathing in each other’s warmth and shy touches, bodies electric.

“Marry me.”

Y/n shoots a concerned look at Jungwon, “but what about Lady Choi? I thought you two-”

“No one else could make me the happiest man in this world, Y/n, no one but you.” Jungwon wasted no time and crashed his lips against hers. First, and long-awaited kisses are finally shared under the illuminating beam of the fullest moon of the year. The gent tilts his head to the side, gaining more access to the lady’s lips as Y/n heaves a deep breath, slowly taking in his upper lip within hers.

He pulls away mere seconds after to get some oxygen into his system while taking the opportunity to continue his unrehearsed proposal. “My heart will only rest in yours. Marry me, Y/n, will you?”

The lady buried her face against his chest that was clad in blue, velvety frock coat adorned with gold embroidery upon its hems. She sniffed his immaculate scent in before letting out muffled whispers. “Give me time to reflect on it. Only then will I give you my answer.”

“Time, of course. As much as you need, my love.” Jungwon gave her a quick and final kiss on the lips before freeing her from his embrace. “I must get you home now. Your mother would be frantic if she knew you were frolicking around with me while she worries about your wedding plans with Sunghoon.”

“Don’t say that. He hasn’t proposed to me yet.”

“But when he does, I’m certain your mother won’t pass up the chance.”

Y/n kissed him back. Fleeting, but full of love. “It’s me who’s getting married, Jung, not her.”

“I love you.”

“You’ve said it already.”

“I will say it again if I have to.” Y/n chuckles lightly, feeling relieved now that Jungwon has trampled down the barriers preventing them from transparency.

The gent lifts her up to his white horse before following after. He instantly took hold of her hands and had them wrapped around his small waist. “Hold on tight. We’re past my promised hour so I’m going to have to speed up, okay?” Y/n didn’t say anything, instead, she hugged Jungwon tightly by the waist and snurfled her cheek against his back. It was enough affirmation for him, so he yanked the thick rope, revving his horse on the cobblestones on their way home.

*send me an ask or a message if you wish to be added on this series’ taglist!

ㅡ © ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

Work is slow and my head's full of volleyball boys, SO: of each position (setter, captain, ace etc) which of the boys do you think would give the best hugs?

I'll be completely biased and say Bokuto would give some of the most amazing hugs of the Aces 😌

Setters would be...I feel like Akaashi would be an awesome hugger (my Fukurodani bias is showing oop-) but I think Toru would be good at giving gentle, soothing hugs. Also, Kenma is 100% a snuggler.

Captains I'm torn between Daichi and Kita. I simp hard for Daichi but Kita is...so special 🥺

Middle Blockers I'd say Mattsun! I thought hard about Shoyo (he is my baby, I've taken him for myself) but I just think Mattsun is an amazing hugger, period! However! Close second is baby Kindaichi.

For my outside hitters/wing spikers, I've gotta go with...well, Osamu is my biased choice, but honestly? Kunimi. In my IRL experience, people who are easy going know how to give AMAZING hugs.

Honorable mentions: literally everyone else

Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, I love hugging headcanons! So let's see, for me I would have to make my list go like this:

Aces: I agree on Bokuto giving amazing hugs, BUT Iwaizumi is a very strong contender. That man would be a god at hugging. Warm body, soft lips to press a gentle kiss to your head, biceps to smother your face against while he holds you in a comforting hug for as long as you need 😍

Setters: I'm honestly feeling Atsumu. As much as I believe that Oikawa would give some of the best, warm and comforting hugs with a little squeeze and a soft "I love you," Atsumu seems like a bear hugger to me. The kind of guy who grins, opens his arms for you to come into, and picks you up a bit off the ground just to hold you that much closer

Captains: Honestly, Kuroo. Kita would be an amazing hugger, but seeing the way that Kuroo hugs his friends in manga panels warms my entire heart and I just want to be held by that man. I think he would make a cheesy joke to hear you laugh and run his hand along your back in a soothing sort of way after a long and stressful day, a small smile on his face at first when he opens his arms for a welcoming, warm hug

Middle blockers: I have to say Kindaichi, personally. There's something about his nervous and kind of awkward aura that makes me feel like once he's close, he's an amazing hugger. The kind of guy to give the most comforting and warm hugs when you were craving validation or to feel loved, because his hugs would be nothing but loving and sweet

Outside hitters and wing spikers: I feel Kunimi, but consider this: Makki. Tall and skinny, maybe a bit bony and grasps you just a bit too hard in a playful hug, but there's love and there's comfort when he buries his nose against your shoulder and just holds you. Standing still in the quiet when you get home from work because he's missed you and the first thing he wants to do when you get home is hug you and hold you and tell you that he loves you

Honorable mentions: Semi giving the warmest hugs despite his tough exterior, Terushima picking you up off the ground after he wins a match, Ushijima tenderly holding you as if you were the most valuable piece of treasure he had ever seen, Kageyama awkwardly wrapping his arms around you while you hold onto his waist and slowly gets comfortable enough to rest his cheek against your head, Lev giving you a bear hug that makes you laugh when he squeezes you so tight, Yaku pressing a kiss to your cheek before he nuzzles his head against your shoulder and just lets you hold him for once, Omi-Omi finally feeling safe in someone's arms and damn near clinging to you because he never realized just how touch-starved he was until he got used to your touch, Hoshiumi getting so excited to see you even after only a few hours of being separated and pulling you into his arms for a tight hug, Tanaka blushing while you nuzzle into his chest and grinning so large that it hurts his face because you care for him openly as much as he cares for you, Nishinoya running and knocking both of you over when he jumps into your arms because he's so happy to see you, Daishō nuzzling his face into your shoulder while you run your fingers through his hair and remind him quietly what being happy and whole feels like. I could go on and on about every damn character in the show 😫

[a-pretty-nerd]

Self Indulgent Shigaraki Nonsense Part 2!

Tomura Shigaraki x pregnant!reader headcannons

Lmao I'm obsessed with this idea, I'm having so much fun with it. I love it, and I hope you guys like it too!

Warnings: Pregnancy and pregnancy related issues.

(I couldn't find the original artist for this, but just know that someone out there is a very talented artist lol)

After the initial reaction,

Shigaraki doesn't want to take you back home to the others. He doesn't want anyone to know.

He still wants you to get an abortion. It makes you feel, unwanted. The more he mentions it, the more it hurts you.

You knew he wouldn't be happy or excited about this, but neither were you. This just, hurt.

He stayed with you a few more nights in the hotel. He didn't want to leave your side, apart of him was afraid you'd still run. That you'd choose the baby over him. The other part, wanted desperately to protect you. To keep you safe and to him, an abortion would.

It would leave you free and untethered to him. He knew, objectivley, you shouldn't be with him. And he knew that if you ever needed to, in order to keep yourself safe, he would understand. But the idea of losing you made him unreasonably upset. What felt like sadness would soon turn to rage. He just, didn't want to lose you. He thought it was selfish of him to think that way, but he couldn't help it. It tore him apart from the inside out.

The years of having you around made him emotionally dependent. You cared for him in ways no one else had. He stayed up at night wondering where you had been his entire life. You felt like a missing piece of a puzzle.

He layed with you in bed one night, unable to sleep. He watched your sleeping form, the way your chest heaved up and down with every breath. His eyes ran over your body as a few fingers pulled away the covers. He eyed your belly. He felt his stomach turn as he thought about it all.

There was already so much he didn't know. He didn't really even understand how you knew you were pregnant or what stage you were at. What would a baby like his look like? Visions of a horrible monster came to mind. No matter what, it was no good. He had to convince you to get rid of it before it was too late. Before it tore you apart.

The basis for his fears were unknown, even to him. He knew thats not how things really worked, he knew his fears seemed ridiculous to you, but still. He felt guilty. He felt a sense of dread as he thought about it. It took two after all. He felt like he had condemned you. He like he had wronged or hurt you.

"This love, loves the trouble." He remembered you saying. He thought you were being foolish, blinded by your feelings to see realisticly. How could you not see? You were doomed. If the monster inside you wouldn't kill you, then it would tie you to him for forever. It'd be born into a world he hadn't solved yet, even if it could help him, it wasn't a tool. If you ever needed to leave, go off and be safe somewhere else, you couldn't. It would always tie you to him. It made him feel sick. You would never have the freedom he wanted for you.

You stirred in your sleep, your eyes slowly coming open before you turned to look up at him. He looked down at you, warm tears falling down an emotionless face. He was so lost in thought, he didn't realize he was crying.

"Uh, Tomura? Whats wrong? You're crying." You sat up and started to wipe the tears away from his cheeks before he wrenched himself from your grasp. He sat on the side of the bed, hunched over, before he got up to use the bathroom.

You sat there in wonder as you laid back down. He was no doubt thinking about the baby again. Baby. The word seemed foreign to even think about. A baby. Lost in thought, Shigaraki came back into the room. The light from the bathroom masking his silhouette in the door frame.

"You have to get rid of it." He mumbled.

"We've been over this before, I'm fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. Women have babies all the time, I promise-"

"No...you don't understand. You can't do this to yourself." He shuffled forward to the bed.

"What?"

"Think about it this way, you'll be rendered useless to the league. You and I were dangerous enough, but now,"

"Well damn, I didn't realize I'm such a fucking burden."

"THAT'S NOT-" He bit his tongue. Yelling at you or showing his anger never solved anything, it only made things worse. "You're not a burden. You're in danger. As a villian you run so many risks but the moment you got busy with me, you made yourself vulnerable. You made me, vulnerable. Adding a third into this, makes not only us more vulnerable but them as well. If the heroes knew we were involved with one another the way we are, they'd take advantage. They'd threaten you, they'd kill you if they got the chance."

"Then we won't give them that chance." You uttered. He balled his fists and turned away, holding his head down.

"It's not that simple. You don't understand."

"I understand just fine, Tomura. You don't think I haven't thought about all the ways this could go wrong? Tomura, you're all I have. You are my family regardless of a third party, you're my best friend and I love you with everything I am."

"This isn't about me. I can't promise you anything, I can barley keep you safe now. If you choose this, I can't do anything for you. I can't promise your safety or comfort. And especially not happiness." You crawled along the bed in a hurry before reaching out to grab ahold of his wrists. He froze.

"You make me happy." You told him. When he didn't move you spoke again. "You make me happy. All I want is you, all I want is to love you and be loved by you. I'm not asking for safety or comfort, I lost those a long time ago. I'm just asking for you." He stayed silent for a while, not moving or saying a word. The only sound in the room being his heavy breathing. "Tomura?"

"I feel torn." He rasped.

"Torn between what? Your war and me? You don't have to choose."

"No. Not that." He pulled his hand away from your grasp. "You would still choose me, choose me to be a father. Knowing what you know." You pasued and thought for a moment. He watched you.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to put you in such a difficult position. But I know you. I know how kind you can be. I know you're whole goal is to create a better world for people, to free humanity. I know the pain you struggle with and the issues you face. But there is no other soul I'd choose over you."

"You're so foolish." He sighed, crumbling as he sat down on the bed. You wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested your forehead against the side of his. "How could a woman so smart, be so ridiculous?" He rested a palm on your knee.

"Love does that sometimes, doesn't it?" You spoke softly.

"It does. It makes me a fool." He turned his head to press his forehead against yours in a sweet gesture.

"For the record, I think you'd make a fine parent." He scoffed at you.

"I doubt I will." Will. Will? The word echoed in your mind.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." You said with a smile. Tomura leaned in and gave you a soft kiss. You leaned into it and took deep breaths as you ran your hands over his chest. He rested his palm over your hand placed on his knee.

"This isn't a game yknow. We don't get second chances here." He warned, squeezes your hand.

"I know."

"Its still early isn't it? You still have time to rethink." He told you, slowly turning and pulling you in to hold you tightly.

"I guess..." you trailed off.

"Just...if anything goes wrong...if anything happens to you..."

"I'll be fine." You reassured.

"You can't know that. How am I going to keep you safe?" He muttered to himself, tucking his face into your shoulder.

"I'll be more careful, I promise. And I'll stay away from dangerous missions, and I'll stay away from heroes from now on, alright?" You told him, rubbing your hands up and down his back.

"Just....think it over...please..." He begged.

"Alright...I'll think it over..." You made no promises. With that, Shigaraki agreed to bring you home. Not saying a word to anyone about your whereabouts. Toga asked you privately about your absence, mostly to confirm that you were alright. You brushed it off, saying it was a private mission or something like that.

Toga knew more than the rest. She asked more questions, knew more details. She knew the true extent of your relationship. Being a close friend of yours, she was trusted with more information than most. Others were lucky if Shigaraki even answered questions about your relationship, declaring it was none of their buisness and to leave him alone.

You didn't tell Toga, you couldn't. It wouldn't matter if she knew or not and getting someone else mixed up in your buisness was a bad idea. Life went back to normal, you went about your buisness as usual, but soon symptoms started to become more of a hazard as the weeks passed. Certain smells like cigarette smoke and eggs would make you violently ill. Nausea and fatigue haunting you throughout the day. You'd wake up feeling sore and groggy, unable to shake the feeling. It bothered Tomura.

He'd watch you raise from the bed and shuffle off to the bathroom with a deep stare. Observing you with a dark gaze. For the most part, he kept his opinions to himself. He knew there was little he could do. His only hope was that you would see "reason". If this is how you felt now, imagine your suffering later. The more pain and frustration you experienced, the more Tomura's heart ached. He felt responsible for your pain. Unable to shake the idea that he did this to you.

"Have you given it anymore thought?" He asked you. Entirely out of the blew, and while you were trying to relax no less. You laid on the floor, pillows piled underneath your head as you browsed your phone. Your feet propped up in his lap as he played a game on the Tv. You peered out from behind your phone screen.

"I have."

"And?" He didn't change his position or attitude.

"And what?" You looked back to your screen.

"Isn't the cut off date coming up soon?"

"Sure is."

"You have to make up your mind soon." You paused and thought for a moment. You watched him play.

"I have."

"Well?"

"I still want this." You told him. He paused his game and froze.

"I don't understand..."

"Pardon?"

"I dont understand!" He shouted. His anger directed out to the Tv instead of you. He dropped the controller and let his hands hang limp as he propped his elbows on your shins. "I don't understand... Taking so many risks... because of me."

"Well, we're villians. Isn't taking risks what lifes all about?"

"I...I'm sorry..." his shoulder began to bounce. His head hanging low while he balled his fists. You sat up, realizing he had started to cry. You placed firm hands on his back to rub and comfort him. He cried, his hands coming up to cover his face and wipe away his tears. "This is all my fault..." He squeaked.

"Tomura, sweety, it's okay." You held continued to rub slow soothing circles over his back. The other on his knee in an attempt to ground him.

"I don't understand...why...why you want this...I don't get it...it makes no sense!" He sobbed. "Why, WHY!?" He clung to you, reaching out to dig his gloved fingers into your sweater in an attempt to keep you close. You held him tight, running gentle fingers through his hair. You let him cry a little longer before answering.

"You know how they say 'love makes you do crazy things?'" You started.

"That's not a reason!" He argued.

"Well, sure, but...it's true isn't it. I mean, our relationship is evidence enough, right? But besides that, when I found out, I was scared too. I'm still scared. But the more I think about it, the more I want it. It makes me smile to think about. I get butterflies and its all I can think of. It's like, I'm falling in love with you all over again." He looked up from his place tucked away in your chest. His eyes red and tired from his crying.

"But why me?" He groaned, "you could have this with anyone you wanted. Why me?"

"Because I don't want anyone else," you squeezed him tight with a smile, "I want you." You planted gentle kisses on his tear riddled cheeks. He let out a soft sigh before pulling you in to give you a proper embrace. He tucked his face in your neck and took deep breaths, as if to savor the feeling of you so close.

"I'm still sorry," he grumbled, "I got you into this mess."

"Hey, it took two, right? Besides, I don't know about you, but I had fun." You squeezed his thigh, trying to lighten the mood. He squirmed in response.

"Not funny."

"What? For sex that good, I'd let you get me pregnant all over again." You chuckled in his ear. He squirmed again, his grip on you tightening.

"Don't say things like that." He scolded half-heartedly. His voice soft, he was embarrassed. You always knew how to get under his skin. Somehow, the way you did it, Tomura found it endearing. It felt fun and lightheaded the way you teased him. When you first did it, he tried to ignore it, he found you annoying and rude. But as time past, and he found your pestering of your fellow teammates pretty funny, he grew to enjoy your witty banter.

He slowly started to run kisses along your neck. He never really understood what you saw in him. Initially, he thought you wanting to be so close with him was an attempt to gain more power. But there was no evidence to support that, you just genuinely enjoyed his company. He found that bizarre. Tomura was well aware he had a bad attitude and was generally a pain in the ass to deal with.

But you got to him. When you were gone, he missed you. When you made a joke or teased, he laughed. When you were close, he felt warm and comfortable. More comfortable with you than without you. He grew way too attached for his liking. Especially now, he cursed himself for loving you. He called himself selfish and reckless and stupid. He beat himself up for it.

Regardless, if this is what you wanted, he would make this happen for you. But as the deadline came and went, he grew more and more paranoid. If the Heroes got ahold of you, it was game over.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 12

Click here if you are a first time reader.

Summary / TWs: Steve Rogers does not pass the vibe check yet again, le sad face. Loki is a good bro. Bruce fluff but what else is new? Literally everyone is a good bro, yo. Reader has best people. Tony's in there, kind of. Parents still suck.

For taglist: please send an ask if you changed your @! I noticed several people are unavailable :(

As always, my baby gay @miscmarvelwritings is the bestest beta!

"I think I am going to murder your father." Bucky's angry statement didn't surprise me. Neither did Steve's initial reaction, or anybody else's mostly pitying looks.

Bruce, my Bwucie, was calm and dejected. That worried me. I expected him to be at least a little bit green around the edges when Steve forcefully sat me down and made me explain the drunken, drugged stunt I'd done the night before, but alas, it seemed like Jolly Green was just sad. Or disappointed. And I didn't know which was worse.

The more I thought about it, the more defensive and abrasive I became. "And you'll kill yourself trying, he'll drive you fucking nuts" I responded to Barnes. "Honestly, I don't fucking see the problem here. My dad shows up five times a year at best. It's been like that forever. And it's not like I'm some kind of junkie," I defended myself, and my dad, because I really didn't see the huge deal about it. Relaxing once in a while doesn’t hurt anyone.

"It's not right!" Steve exclaimed, loosely banging a fist on the table. The self-righteous prick, seemed like he wanted to pick a fight just for the sake of it.

"And who are you, exactly, to say that? The moral police?" I blew up, standing and turning to the blonde man, hands on my hips. "Or you've decided to be my parent without asking me first? Keep your hopes up and maybe a fuck will magically appear, so I could give it to you."

He stood up in turn, getting uncomfortably close to my face. I was suddenly reminded of the fact that he was a very large, very strong man. "We want what's best for you! Can't you see it?" Rogers was getting red in the face, crossed arms, staring at me down like I was dirt under his shoes.

"How about..." I seethed, having to stop mid-sentence to swallow the scream that wanted to erupt. "How about... You FUCKING ask me what I want?"

"I suggest the Captain leave to go calm down," Loki suddenly piped up. He stayed silent throughout the whole conversation, picking at his food instead. Only after his sharply uttered words I noticed he had stood up. His hand hovered over my shoulder, body discreetly wedging between me and the Captain.

I heard Steve growl before he stormed off, throwing an annoyed look at Loki. A pregnant silence hung in the room. The longer it lasted, the more I wanted to crawl out of my skin, suddenly hyper aware of all these people - strangers, save a few - debating on what to do with me. Like I wasn't a person. Like...

"Ugh, fucking hell," I growled, beelining for my bag. I had definitely overstayed my welcome.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked, standing up to follow.

"Home," I replied curtly, nodding my thanks to Loki for the intervention. He nodded back, walking off. I would have probably started swinging at the Icicle Dick if not for the raven haired Asgardian's timely interruption.

"I'll drive you," Banner trotted after me like a dejected puppy. I didn't have the mental capacity to deal with this, at all.

"I need to see Tony first. Meet you downstairs?"

Bruce nodded, looking even more confused.

Tony kissed me hungrily, in between promises to kill Steve and cancel my dad and get me my own apartment in the tower. Believing in fairy tales wasn't something I was ever prone to; I smiled, nodded along and did my best to shut him up with my own mouth on his. I left with the promise to text him as soon as I got home.

"How are you?" Bruce asked me as we once again drove through the busy city. This was becoming a nice habit but we really had to meet up when I wasn't going through another one of my turmoils.

"All things considered, I am great. Better than I've been in a while." I answered honestly, meaning it. However brief Tony's attention would be, it still satisfied me. Then and there I decided to always, always cherish what happened during my brief stint in his arms.

"Really?" Banner's warm smile was an unexpected but pleasant surprise. "Care to share?"

It threw me for a loop. I didn't know how much Tony wanted to disclose regarding what happened between us. I didn't know the extent of his friendship with Bruce. I didn't know...

"Tony," I choose the usual option. Admit what you can't deny, deny what you can't admit.

"I know the feeling," The good doctor chuckled, companionable-like and meaningful. "He tends to go all the way for the people he cares about. Too much, if you ask me."

"What do you mean?" I was confused. Sure, me and Tony were friends. But not, like, super close or anything. We'd fucked, or more like messed around, so I expected our friendship to grow colder. That's what happened when friends decided to bump uglies.

"I mean... He'll move mountains and challenge the government and bully them into dropping charges against you," There was a hint of sadness in Brucie's voice. I vaguely recalled seeing something on the news, something about the Hulk and a massive destruction spree. It didn't take long to put two and two together.

I reached out, putting a hand on his knee. He covered my palm with his own, giving it a brief, warm squeeze.

"It must be great having a friend like that. You're both wonderful and brilliant. You deserve no less," The smile threatened to split my face in two.

Bruce returned the smile but the sadness didn't go away. "You realize that extends to you, right?"

"Me? I'm just me, Bruce." I wasn't sure where this was going. "I'm Peter's classmate and the resident hot mess express."

Bruce frowned, deep and long, up until he parked. Life seemed to be taking back all the happiness it gave me previously-in fucking buckets. The strap of my bag was going to get its threads pulled out with the way I was fiddling with it.

"Baby… Princess?" The scientist turned to me, tone torn somewhere between stern and pleading. "Listen to me. You are brilliant. Incredibly smart, talented and beautiful. Don't ever, ever think of yourself as less than any of us." I gaped at him.

Did he mean us as the Avengers? Us as Tony and Bruce? Meanwhile he continued, "In fact, I think you are the one who deserves so much better. I don't know what Tony found in me… Or what you found in me."

Was the man an idiot or yes? That was the question of the day. Cursing Tony's affinity for small cars (bless me and my own SUV), I only hesitated a moment before grabbing the dumb Banner by his face and startling him into looking straight in my eye. "If you don't quit talking all that fake-ass bullshit, I will kiss you. On the mouth. With tongue."

"Uh," Was his articulate response. I watched him squirm, blush and lose the heat to his argument.

"Exactly. I've had it all with you idiots today. Next time someone says some stupid ass fucking thing, I will kiss them. On the mouth, with tongue. Pass it on," I exhaled, releasing his face and dropping my head onto his shoulder.

"Some way of solving conflict you have," Banner chuckled weakly, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "I'd like to see Steve's reaction."

"A boner, probably, because he needs to get laid before he spontaneously combusts," I grumbled venomously, still bitter about his reaction. The Capsicle needed to chill. Hehe.

"I'll pass it on too," Bruce remarked wryly. "See you next week?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Bwucie, you're the fucking best," I kissed the scientist on the cheek, giving him a tighter than usual parting hug and walking up the pathway. Home.

Mother was nowhere to be seen - and the obvious reason for that laid on the kitchen floor. Couple of smashed dishes, a bottle of whiskey laying half-empty in a puddle on the grey tiles. The living room rug bore more stains and the smell of alcohol, bitter and acrid (like my soul, hardy har), hung heavily throughout the whole house.

At least I wasn't the only one who fought for myself that day. Mother probably had landed a good one on dad, too, by God the woman could be ruthless with her icy words. Dad never stood a chance. I've felt begrudgingly respectful of the way mother put people in their place with her words ever since I understood sarcasm.

First things first, I cleaned up the mess and opened the windows a smidge, cranking the air recuperation system to the max. Hanging around a place that smelled like a bum on a good Friday night was a horrible way to spend free time. Having successfully cut myself and bandaged the cuts up, I retreated to my room, not wanting to spend more time than necessary in the quiet, stinky, creepy house that my home had become.

My phone was long dead so I plugged it in, waiting for the 2% to appear, turning it on. A few messages from Peter, first cheerful, then worried and then relieved. Tony must've placated the spider child and told him I was staying at the tower. Good call, Tones, or else poor Peter would've worked himself into an anxiety attack and crashed in a dumpster while patrolling. Or something. I still didn't quite get his spider-hero side-gig.

A text from Bruce - rather, a photo, of a disgruntled Steve with his eyebrows raised, titled "I told him the next time he freaks out, you will kiss him. With tongue. Barnes cackled for about ten minutes until he ran out of air."

And a text from Tony. My chest tightened when I opened it. "Good tactics. Sneaky, clever, I'd give it a B+."

I snorted. Then the phone beeped again and I froze. A text ordering me to be ready tomorrow, for a date night? Unreal. I was torn. A part of me was elated, thinking Tony wanted to keep me around like that. The other, more sensible part, was firmly telling me to chill TF down. He'll most likely kindly reject any further intimate interactions, maybe have me sign a few NDAs.

I still answered positive, mushy and cute and all. Feelings aside, I wasn't about to change my texting style for any man. My God, I was turning into a monster. A horribly cheesy, pink, soft, fluffy monster.

The next day, school was nearly unbearable. People talked. Not to my face, of course, since the rumours of me putting away Flash Thompson were still fresh enough for everyone to be cautious around me, but the whispers followed me throughout hallways, tongue in cheek remarks thrown at me from the bathroom stalls, behind the teacher's desks. Did I care? Nope.

Okay, I did, but not in the way one would think. The little spring in my step, a slight smirk. My thoughts were occupied with my upcoming dinner with Tony.

Peter and his pet nerds stood at my side, the ever watchful guards. I had no idea why they decided I needed reassurance or their comfort (I did not), but I had to admit it was cute. MJ, in particular, glared her Death Ray Stare at any male-identifying student that dared to as much as look wrongly in my direction. I mostly ignored the trio. Pete himself did a great job with entertaining his friends, he babbled on as usual, about everything and nothing in particular. Mouth ulcers. He was going to get them one day.

Dad called me during third period, saying he was flying off to California. I would have been lying if I said I didn't know why he scheduled the sudden trip; mother's total radio silence and the absence of her laptop in her own office spoke volumes about the state of my family's affairs. They had a fight and ran off to the opposite ends of the continent. I didn't understand why mother was upset with me, though. I saved her face during dinner at Tony's, so why is she mad about me going to a party with dad? Baffling woman.

Admitting the house felt like home when either of them were absent was hard. Or, perhaps, I felt nothing at all. Spending so much time around the Brady Bunch- the Avengers made me too soft for my own liking. It wasn't just Tony that lived in mind rent-free all the time now; there was Bruce, with his kindness, Bucky with his overgrown teenager attitude, Wanda with her wit and hair that smelled like cheap shampoo - seriously, I absolutely had to show her the benefits of decent hair products. That was just to list the few little quirks. There were so many people, all of them different and wonderful in their own way.

To summarize it, I was both happy for them and bitter for not having any of that to myself. Although it made me kind of glad I didn't have a sibling - looking after someone in the mess that mother and dad created would've been a nightmare. They say it's always a better place where we are not.

I went through a whole pack of cigarettes in a span of a couple of hours. Plagued by strangely melancholic thoughts, trying to push down the anxiety over my upcoming date, my choice of outfit proved to be a cumbersome task while in process.

Expensive but simple dress with spaghetti straps, in my favourite colour. That was the easiest part. A good base for any accessories. Would Tony like it? Would the press make outrageous comments?

Either way, it would. Dad's comments cut deeper than I probably realized it until now; in a sudden bout of self-awareness and a couple of mouse clicks later... Tony wouldn't care. Tony wears suits with sneakers. The Manolos flew back, towards my shoe closet, and a pair of Chanel trainers made their debut. A Hermes 2002 barely weighed down by my wallet, keys and phone. A nice coat, too, appropriately light and so very conceptual and fashionable.

I spent way too much time deciding on what to wear. A stern talking to, however, didn't help me, and I had to redo my make-up - the "nude", "all natural" look was one of the hardest to nail. Or so Marie Claire said. Whatever, my highlighter game was, as usual, on point.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01 @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway (it finally let me tag you)!

[geminidarksidehasawoken]

Unbreak Me

Who do I run to?

@ao719 @blznbaby @iplaydrake @drakesensworld @dcbbw @hopefulmoonobject @furiousherringoperatortoad @ladyangel70 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @sashatrr @candy72008 @angi15h

"Hana, Drake?" I called with disbelief evident in my voice. The shocked look on their faces told me everything I needed to know... They were lying to me and that hurt, it hurt because I trusted myself to be free, to be broken and vulnerable with them. They knew everything about me, they knew my fears my dreams. They knew me... But it was obvious I didn't know them...

All those little things I knew I saw but they denied it, the longing looks, the way Hana just glowed when Drake caught her eye. The way she laughed for him, they lied about that.

They kept this from me, why?

"How long?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"Riley, let me explain" Drake called hiding his naked form while he dressed clearly caught between Hana and I.

I hold up my hand, not wanting to hear it, not now. "You should have trusted me enough to share this with me" I say, hating that my voice was thick with emotion.

I look over at Hana, her eyes pleading with me, pleading with me to understand, but I couldn't, I couldn't get past the fact that they never trusted me. "We never meant to hurt you" she said, and I knew it was the truth, no one ever meant for these things to happen, but they still did.

Drake stood before me, and I could tell from the way he was looking at me that he really didn't mean for this to happen, that they never meant to hide this from me.

If I was honest, I wasn't angry that they were sleeping together, I was hurt that they found love and felt they had to hide it from me. Drake promised me no secrets, open and honest...

"Drake this is insane, you can't marry me for the sake of stability, for the sake of keeping Liam's child safe" I said as we walked up the steps to the courthouse second guessing the solution we had found.

"White, you will need someone, and I will be that someone, because I know that if the roles were reversed, Liam would ensure that the woman I loved was okay, this child is the heir to a kingdom it is my duty to keep them safe... Unless you changed your mind and want to tell Liam about the baby" he knew I could not there was too much at stake, his whole reputation would be damaged as they all would know the king had an affair while being engaged to another, the scandal would ruin him and our baby would be subject to such ridicule, I couldn't put them through that, but more than anything I was scared of the Queen taking my child... Her only thought to protect the Crown, I respected her for it and hated her in the same instance

"Just promise me, we'll always be honest with each other, no secrets" I say like a scared little girl.

Twisting off the ring, I laid it in his hands "You broke your promise" I whisper, walking away.

I drove for hours declining their calls, I couldn't cry, but that didn't stop the pain. After driving for hours in circles, it was time to pick up Leanna. I stopped for a moment needing to process, and I knew the affair didn't bother me it was the secret that did, I understood that he had needs that I couldn't satisfy. I gather my thoughts and headed for the palace.

***Liam***

Sabrina and Leanna got along great, Leanna always seeming to want to protect her. They sit at the poolside drinking juices while I read the paper. "...My mom and dad are pretty awesome... Daddy is goofy, mom is the stern one"

"My mom was like that too, she was all about my lessons and doing my best and being the an example for other children"

"I'm sorry, what happened to her" she asked and I could hear the genuine concern in Leanna voice.

"She died, in a car crash... along with Bastien, he was my best friend, he would play with me"

Leanna pulls her into an hug and my eyes mist with tears and I watch her give her something. "We'll be leaving in a few days, keep it to remember me, you can always find a friend in me"

"But it's so beautiful"

"Mom said my father gave it to her, it was a declaration of their love for each other. Mom gave it to me for inspiration and because I just loved it, and it has inspired me, so I'm giving this to you so that you know you always have a friend in me"

"Thank you... Come on, let's go swing" Sabrina says and the too rush off to play. This was her third visit to the palace, and I've watched them get closer, they were good for each other, and I wondered what arrangement could be made once they left for her to visit.

I liked that she pushed Sabrina to talk about her mother, talking about her made me sad, guilt gnawed at me and I can't help but wonder if I had been more focussed on her instead of always judging her to Riley if she would still be here, and then maybe I would have met my son.

A freak accident claimed her life because I was feeling torn and angry at her for forcing us to attend a ball when Sabrina was ill. We'd fought about it and in the end she had opted to visit on my behalf and I was left behind with Sabrina, she never made it to Fydelia, and the baby was just too young to survive, yet I mourned him too.

"Hey, where's Leanna?" Her voice calls and I look to see her standing in the doorway a pained expression on her face. Before I can ask the question she waves it away and answers.

"I'm fine, please let her know I am ready" she whispers and I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.

"Riley, come here" I call and she comes and sits by me like a small child.

"I just want to go home" she whispers.

Her phone rings again and she ends it and turns it off.

"I'd love to go for a walk, would that interest you?" I ask her and she looks around and I know she needs to be strong, she's always been two strong.

"Alright" she responds and together we walk the grounds in silence until we get to the stable. She loved these majestic beasts, they calmed her as she softly petted and fed him.

"Riley, you can talk to me you" I whisper and she shakes her head.

"I can't trust you." She says and those words hit me, they get under my skin, they hurt. Knowing that she honestly didn't trust me.

I force away the feeling, and smile still.

"Why are you here, and don't tell me to pick up Leanna" I say and she walks out. "Why do you always run?" I demand as we stop to feed to ducks on the pond.

She turns her back to me, throwing food the ducks that the care taker gave us. "I'm sorry" she whispers and its under her breath I almost missed it. "It's been a hard few weeks, losing Bernard and Savannah was a blow, I don't think the reality has hit me yet" she says as we sit on a secluded bench beneath the apple tree.

"I'm truly sorry for your loss, I know that Bertrand cared for you deeply"

"Yes he's the only man in my life that was ever truly honest, he was like a father to me" she says and I pull her into my side and she comes willingly, but a tad bit awkward.

"Hey, I know he felt the same way, he barely spoke two words to me in public, after you" I clear my throat "he was a great man, I'm sure he would be honoured to hear you think of him this way."

I clasp her small hands in mine and kiss it, realizing she isn't wearing her ring. " Is everything okay with you and Drake"

"My marriage is over... I just don't know how to tell Leanna" she whispers and there is just a note of sadness in her voice.

"I'm sorry" I hear myself say and I'm surprised to see it's the truth. "Do you want to... talk about it?"

"It won't change the out come... He won't let you go you know" and she pulls away from me and stands.

"Why not? You did" she answers, and I can feel her anger rising, the pain from all those years ago threatening to rise. Her words cutting through me, because I didn't let her go, I still haven't let her go.

We walk back to the palace in silence and Leanna hugs me and her mom together. "Could I spend the night, please mommy" she begs her eyes pleading with her to say yes.

"I need to talk to your father first, but I will let you know." She says and she's off again.

We walk to my office and we close the door behind us. "You can make your call from my phone, I have a few documents that need signing." I let her know handing her the cordless phone.

"Hey it's me... Drake not now... Leanna wants to spend the night... I...I don't know... No... You didn't need to be afraid, you should have trusted me!" Says harshly and ends the call letting out a pent up breath.

"Leanna has our permission to stay, but I need to run to the boutique and get her a few necessities" she says grabbing her bag to run out.

"It's okay, I can get that done for you, how about you join us for dinner?" I ask hopeful, while we weren't back to being friend it was amazing spending time with her.

"I'm not sure that's a go-"

"Please, and you can change in the guest room on our wing"

*Riley*

I felt torn, as I read the messages from Hana and Drake.

"White, I'm sorry I didn't trust you with Hana, but I was afraid of what that would mean for my relationship with Leanna"

White please pick up the phone we are worried.

Riley, I hope you can forgive me

Unable to deal with this now, I just send a message 'I will be spending the night at the palace with Leanna' and turn back off the phone.

Liam had a garment bag delivered with a simple black dress and personal items for our stay. I'm zipping up when I hear the knock on the door, and I open it to find Olivia. Just great! "May I come in?"

She asks as I open the door, I allow her in and she helps me up into my dress. "You look amazing"

"Thanks... Are you okay?"

"No I most certainly am not!" She says her eyes welling up with tears, and I'm shocked because the Olivia I knew was fearless never shed a tear. "I just found out I am pregnant, and I'm terrified of telling Maxwell" she whispers wiping her eyes... Ahh the hormones.

I'm shocked! Olivia is confiding in me, it's a welcome change from always at each others throat. But then her words sink in..."Wait you and Maxwell!" I say unable to hide the shock in my voice.

"Why did I come to you for advice?" She grumbles flopping down on the bed. I sit beside her and hold her hand.

"Admit it, Livy, you missed me"

"Shut up, and tell me what I should do? I am Duchess I cannot have a child out of wedlock and Maxwell is Maxwell, I have no clue how he will react! Do you see Maxwell as the responsible type?" She rambles on and on clearly distraught.

She stands and starts to pace. "Relax Liv, take a deep breath, this is Maxwell... He understands what this will mean, you just need to tell him and not threaten to kill him" she chuckles, and sits again laying her head on my shoulder.

"Tell him and go from there" I say and she composes herself.

"Why didn't you tell Liam?" She asks cleaning up her face. My heart hammers at her question, and there are no words.

"What do you mean?" I say playing dumb.

"Riley, I lived in this very palace with him as a child, the resemblance is uncanny" I open my mouth to respond but no words come out.

"I won't tell him, not because he doesn't deserve to know, but because I can't watch him hurt again"

I close my eyes. "Liv, " she waves away and continues

"It was me, I told him to move on, because our kingdom needed their king, he didn't let you go, I know that's why you never told him" she whispers softly and I can't dislodge the lump in my throat. I unconsciously shake my head not wanting to hear.

"This changes nothing" I say, feeling that all too familiar sting behind my eyes.

"I... I... Want you to know it wasn't him."

"I can't do this right now"

"He'd gotten thin, he couldn't focus, he was hurting, hurting too much, blaming himself and missing you. People began to speculate, so I told him, it was two late for you two and he should move on" she says and I watch the tears roll down her face.

"Liv, I was broken long before he moved on... A piece of me died the day he married her" I say, shushing her so she knew this wasn't about her. "Fuck! Love has the power to destroy you... What if Maxwell decides he doesn't want- oh gosh" I pull her into me and I let her cry, knowing this wasn't Olivia but the hormones working on over drive. After a moment of sobbing she pulls herself together and cleans her face.

"If you tell anyone about what happened here, I will destroy -"

"Liv! You were always safe with me, "I say shaking her before she could continue with her threat to end my life.

"Sorry! I think since my parents died, this is the hardest I've ever cried" she says trying to explain and make sense of the pain and fear she is feeling.

"I know"

She stands and straightens herself, fixing her lipstick. "I did miss you" she says and slips out the door.

Fluffing out my hair I applied a little gloss to my lips and headed down the stairs. Liam and the girls were seated at the table in a very riveting discussion as no-one heard my entrance. "...my dad will need to start courting ladies again by the end of the season as a king can't rule for so long unmarried" Sabrina tells her, with a sad smile on her lips.

"But that makes no sense, isn't he king, what if he isn't ready?"

Sabrina laughs "Father has to put the kingdom first, there are too many people relying on him." She says

"Ladies, my plight isn't one you two need to worry about, " and he stands seeing me as I walk into the room, just a little too nervous. His eyes roving the length of my body.

"You look amazing " he says his voice deep and husky making me feel a rumble in my tummy.

Dinner was a lively affair with the girls, there was such a vast difference in the way they grew up. Where Leanna was outspoken and caring, Sabrina was shy yet kind. They chatted none stop, always including us, asking us about the days gone by. After dessert the nanny came and escorted the girls to their chamber for bedtime while we stayed enjoying wine. We walk out onto the balcony with the remainder of wine and glasses. "I hope not to offend but you look absolutely stunning" he says and he's too close, his hands touching my hands. I pour myself another glass of wine and sip, and we talk about our children, and its so easy to talk to him. We catch up on the nobles I had rubbed elbows with during the social season and the engagement tour.

We spent the time on the balcony, just relaxing in silence and he pulls me into him. "Liam, there is something I need to tell you" I whisper my heart thundering in my chest. Knowing that he should know the truth. "And I will tell you once I speak with Drake" I say knowing after all we have been through together he deserved to be there so he could tell his side of the story so he would understand why we did what we did.

He brushes a finger across my cheek and it causes goosebumps to flood me, he always did this to me, without intent he sets my soul on fire... Still. He pulls me up, "let me get you inside before I lose all sense of reason and restraint" he whispers his voice deep and filled with need.

He pulls me to my feet and I'm not sure if it's the wine, but I tumble into him, and it feels... It feels divine, his strong arms holding me keeping me from falling, I'm pressed too tight against him its hard to breathe. He lifts my chin and I look into his eyes moved by the pain and longing I saw there. He let's out a strangled cry and sweeps me into his arms, never taking his eyes off me. I'm scared because I know tonight if he kisses me I won't stop him. He stands me in my room, and unzips my dress, then ruffles the bed and lays me beneath the covers like a child. My eyes are drifting close as he whispers "I've never stopped loving you, and you are wrong, I never let you go... I can't" a soft kiss touches my forehead and I float into nothingness.

I