#if i end up being right i’ll lose my marbles tho

[yeeted-into-the-multiverse]

lowkey i have a theory on xia fei & vein’s powers, esp after this episode’s reveal of liu xiao’s ability(?) but it’s kinda delusional i js wanna get it out there anyway..

if liu xiao’s ability is actually being able to hear people’s heartbeats, it’s a pretty weak ability in comparison to all the other ones introduced in the series so far (literal time travel, limited omniscience, possession, seeing people’s memories…) assuming he doesn’t have any other abilities

but it actually lines up with a theory i had a while ago when watching the “house of hot-headed” mv

so a lot of people know by now but there’s a section where they display everyone’s names, and there are card suits on the bottom left-ish assigned to each character

xia fei - spades, liu xiao - clover, vein - diamond

according to wikipedia, china’s ranking of suits from lowest to highest is clover, hearts, diamond then spades

so maybe the suits are referring to how powerful each of their abilities are as well? i don’t think it refers to the characters themselves since it seems like liu xiao is gonna have the most impact on the series as a whole out of the 3 antagonists this season but yeah.

[monakisu]

hi!!!! i really really love your art and it's been a really big inspiration for me lately ^_^ i just wanted to ask if you'd be okay with maybe going through your usual art process?? every time i try to draw i just end up getting frustrated since i never know where to start 💔if this is too much to ask for feel free to ignore me and i hope you're doing well regardless!!! 💕

thank you for such a sweet ask wow what the heck ૮(꒦ິཅ꒦ິ)ა❤️🌈 i hope you’re well too and i’ll gladly share my process!! i love oversharing anyways….!!! (although i often dont know where to start and it takes weeks for me to gather up the energy to even start aufhijfjghhh)

💖CRITICAL STEP before i do anything at all: surf pinterest for inspo!! 💞💕 it can be inspo for art styles, ideas, or just ~vibes~ (if that makes sense lol?? 😸) but ever since i started actually sorting my boards my feed has become a lot more colorful and cute and inspiring…! 😸😸 i especially like seeing all the unconventional art styles on there!! it’s where my cartoony-ish style originated from ( •ૢ⚈͒⌄⚈͒ •ૢ)💖����🌸🌷🍃

sometimes i come across a post on twitter that i GOTTA manifest into a drawing, so even though twitter is very rancid and negative, it can be good! sorta!! but yeah i try to start out drawing with a solid idea of what i wanna do in mind, or else it’ll just end up being a generic right-facing 3/4 portrait LMAOoo…….. 🤠👍

❤️colors: generally i will give up after i have a sketch and slither off to binge horror novels, but RARELY i might proceed onto the coloring stage… i have this disorder in which i need to maximize the vibrancy of every pixel on my screen or i’ll Die. 🪦(ɷ ꒪ཀ꒪)ɷ for shadows, i rarely use black unless i reallyyy need to; i just do dark purple! 🦄💜🔮🪄 for highlights, i never go for pure white; usually it’s cream or neon yellow, but sometimes skin will have these little light green spots to stand out (this is actually a color theory thing i learned from oil painting… green vs. red!) 😸🍏🤝🍎😸

🧡overlay: i have at least 2 different layers set to overlay, so i can augment color vibrancy EVEN MORE and make things ✨glowy✨ like a 💥flash bomb💥!! on my first overlay layer, i go over dark colors with either dark brown or dark purple, set to a very very low opacity (practically transparent) to make things DRAMATIC, and then lose all my marbles on highlights at regular opacity!! my other overlay layer is for me to go crazy with the rosette brush, which looks like those comic book dotsies! ٩(๑′∀ ‵๑)۶•*¨*•.¸¸♪

💚touch-ups: after i’ve given up on my drawing and accepted that this is the most i can do, i proceed to do even more to it by slapping filters on it in picsart and picmonkey. my go-to filters in each app:

💙picsart: indie 2, usually set at 30% (it makes colors EVEN MORE NEON as if they weren’t eye-searing enough QAQ💧). i used to bypass their dumb af membership thing to access their gorgeousss glitch filter for my backgrounds, BUT THEY REMOVED THE ABILITY TO SCREENSHOT INSIDE THE APP so i hate picsart lol 😸🫶 indie 2 slaps fat cheeks tho

💜picmonkey: my true love!! they don’t hide their BEST FILTERS behind pretentious subscriptions 😁 okay i’ll stop complaining… 😁😁 so much Good Kush in this thing like lux, lightleak (makes things purple and glitchy!), splendor, lush…

💖and then i’m done FOR REALS and i post it and i don’t draw for 3 weeks while i writhe in guilt nyahaha (ง˙∇˙)ว=͟͟͞͞➳❥

i hope this helps!!

[kimvvantae]

puzzle; 7 (m)

➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, a little bit of violence

rating: 18+

word count: 12k

A/N: sweet jesus it’s been so long but it’s finally here! this is the last but one chapter of the series. i genuinely hope you guys enjoy it and i reeeeally want to know your thoughts on it! feel free to leave a comment! if you feel i’m deserving of it lmao

enjoy!

➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

[bby bear]: where are you???

[bby bear]: you'll get late for class 

[you]: i knoww

[you]: the traffic is so heavy today 🤦🤦

[bby bear]: you should have come w me 

[you]: i need to go to the bank

[you]: i told you

[bby bear]: i could have taken u theer

[bby bear]: there

[you]: 🥺🥺 next time i'll go w you i promise!!

[you]: but i'm close

[you]: i'll probably lose the first period tho

[bby bear]: 🤦

You shove the phone inside of your pocket when you notice the pedestrian sign is finally green. The crowd on both sides of the avenue rush, everyone on their fast pace as usual. You're even forced to push some people in order to walk by.

Getting to the other side of the street, you stop in front of the building.

Tall as fuck. That cool kind of building with mirrors all over it, where only cool people wearing cool suits walking around holding cups of coffee on one hand and phones on the other hand talking business language kind of people work at. 

You certainly don't work here. You definitely don't have any stuff to do here. You surely are not close to the campus and you will lose much more than just the first period.

Seulgi will most definitely punch your face when she finds out where you are and what you're about to do.

You confidently walk inside the building, pushing through its glass doors into the pristine, modern and gigantic main hall. Your black boots contrast with the high heels all the other women wear around you. So does the rest of your outfit. Mini skirts and oversized hoodies are not part of the dress code here. You can almost hear their minds asking, what is this person doing here? The clanck clanck sound of their heels clicking against the marble floor is somehow pleasing, though.

You stop in front of the reception counter. A pretty girl opens a crystal white smile to you. Her hair is tied tightly, her uniform was ironed to perfection. "Good morning. How can I help you?" She chirps happily. 

"Good morning. My name is Y/N. I'd like to talk to Irene."

The smile quickly falters.

The girl side eyes her colleague that sits by her side. "Hmm… unfortunately, Miss Irene does not receive visits," she says carefully, still trying to keep her smile. "You must be mistaken."

You can see this girl thinks you're crazy. You quickly realize that people usually don't come at the reception and simply say they want to talk to Irene. But, well, what else would you do? You have to announce your presence somehow. 

"Irene is waiting for me. You can call her and ask if you want," you insist. 

The receptionist looks pale for a moment.

Hesitantly, she takes the phone and dials a number. You can still see that the girl thinks you're lying; she's probably ready to call the security guards. During her quick talk on the phone, you notice she's not talking to Irene, but with her secretary. 

You also see the moment her eyes widen.

She hangs up the phone and stands up, smiling widely again.

"Miss Y/N, Irene is waiting for your arrival," she says, and you notice the slight tone of panic in her voice. "Please, accompany me."

All the other visitors have to show their identifications and take a quick picture on the reception, you notice, but the girl simply ignores this procedure with you, guiding you to the elevator instead. She explains the situation to the security guard and he lets you in. The receptionist still looks slightly panicked. She's probably scared that you'll complain how the receptionist was rude to me directly to Irene, but you won't. Poor girl was just doing her job.

The elevator is big, too. It has a panoramic view of the city as it goes up to one of the highest floors. 

You always thought Seulgi was overreacting when she said how bad she sometimes felt for dating Irene, but now you kind of understand her.

You knew Irene was rich. You can recognize a Gucci jacket when you see one, and you've seen Irene wearing plenty of these. But Irene always acted so normal. Sure, she was elegant - and sometimes even arrogant -, but she was still someone very pleasant to be around. She never looked disgusted to be in your tiny but comfy apartment, she never made faces when she'd sometimes wear some of Seulgi's or your clothes when she didn't bring any to spend the night, she never complained to eat the junk food you'd buy for dinner. She was just… chill.

Because of that, you'd forget that she's rich sometimes.

Being in this massive building where everyone acted as if she was a princess made you remember, though.

Irene is beyond rich. Your standard of "rich" used to be Joy: someone that has a cool, big house in a nice part of the city. Irene partially owns a fucking company. She's so chill that you never even bothered to Google the company's name; you did this today to get the address, and it only made you more shocked.

Seulgi must have felt overwhelmed many times in their relationship.

But you're sure she was much happier back then than she is now.

You're used to their drama. They were already dating when you first met Seulgi, and you saw this cycle repeating many times. This time, though, things are not happening as usual. Seulgi is the saddest you’ve ever seen in these almost three years of convivence. Right after they broke up, you thought she was just being dramatic as usual… now you see that it isn’t simple drama. She’s actually sad and has been in this state for months. She doesn’t go out anymore, stopped doing the things she liked… she even got tired of Netflix. That’s probably the most shocking fact of all. 

Jungkook said you shouldn’t get involved in this, but you’re tired of seeing your friend being so sad all the time.

Their breakup was messy this time. They didn’t talk properly, didn’t make things clear. Seulgi is too stubborn to make a move (she’s totally lethargic at this point, both physically and spiritually), and Irene also seems too stubborn. Since none of them has the balls to do anything, you finally decided to step up and take action.

(Funny how you thought Jimin was annoying for trying to push you and Jungkook together, but you’re doing the exact same thing right now).

Well, look, you’re not exactly trying to push them into each other. First, you want to know Irene’s feelings and opinions on this situation. If you see that she has really moved on from Seulgi, then you’re ready to give your friend all the comfort and support in the world so she finally moves on. If Irene shows you that she still has feelings for Seulgi… well…

The speed in which she replied to your DM is a strong indicative of that.

The way her eyes glint with undeniable hope when the elevator doors open and she greets you is another indicative.

Irene looks gorgeous as always; she’s like a human version of Snow White. It’s kind of funny to meet her in her office like this. She’s almost like a female and hotter version of Christian Grey. 

Her ways of greeting you are polite and… hesitant. You understand why. She probably doesn’t get what you’re doing here in the first place, what you want to talk about. Considering you’re Seulgi’s friend, she must think you’d be mad at her or something.

“Why didn’t you call me, Y/N? My guests never enter from the common hall.” she asked. Oh. Common hall is what that massive hall is called. Almost like peasants area.

“I didn’t know.” you simply say, shrugging. 

“I’m sorry that we’re meeting here at my workplace. It feels too profissional, doesn’t it?” she smiles sheepishly.

Well… it does. You don’t even feel comfortable enough to move around her great office, afraid that you’d accidentally break anything (you’re sure that every little piece in this room is much more expensive than you’d be able to afford). 

“Come on, let’s go to the cafeteria. I think it’ll be more comfortable to talk there.” she politely suggests, and you just agree with her.

Irene guides you around the halls. This floor is less crowded, since only Important People with Important Tasks work here - and she’s greeted by all of them as she passes by. Their eyes immediately float to you, and they were surely asking themselves why Princess Irene was being followed by this peasant. 

The cafeteria in question is as pretty and neatly clean as the rest of the building. Soft music plays from the speakers. Irene chooses a more private table by the windows and asks if you want to have breakfast; you politely decline and both of you end up ordering simple cups of coffee. 

An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air.

"I… have to confess that I got surprised when I saw your DM," Irene speaks softly. Her eyes are glued on her cup of coffee. "It's been a while."

"Yeah." 

"How are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine." a hundred different scenes pass on your head as she asks this, and you know that you feel anything but fine in the moment, but it's not as if you'll rant about your complicated love life right now. "But I'm sure you don't want to ask about me."

You see a shade of pink flush Irene's cheeks.

"Well… I don't think it would be right to ask about her." Irene says.

"Why not? It's not as if you didn't know I came here to talk about Seulgi."

"But she doesn't want to know about me."

You're left speechless for a few seconds.

It's funny to see the two sides of a breakup. Because of their stubborness, they became completely out of tune with each other. Irene thought that Seulgi didn't want to know about her, when you knew pretty damn well that Seulgi stalked her social media an unhealthy amount of times per day.

You cross your arms and lean your back on the chair. Irene looks hesitant, but you see she's eager to know whatever information you may have. That's not the behavior of someone that hates their ex.

"Can I ask you something?" you say. It's funny how Irene, the owner of pretty much everything around you, looks so cornered by you, her shoulders shrinking visibly. She nods softly. "Why did you guys break up? I mean, what's your side of the story?"

Irene sighs and passes her hand through her dark hair. She looks out the window. She doesn't seem irritated by your ask. She just seems… thoughtful.

It makes you realize that, perhaps, Seulgi's not the only one feeling broken here.

"We're… different." she starts quietly. "I have been trying to keep this relationship working for a long time, you know. Even though we argued a lot and disagreed about many things. But…" Irene sighs again. Sadness shadows her features. "It was getting hard. Seulgi never accepted my help. She knows that money is no problem for me, and I just wanted to help, but why did she act so angry every time I wanted to help you guys?"

Oh.

You don't miss the way she said "help you guys"; she must be talking about the times both of you were struggling to pay the rent. Oh God. You clearly see where their opinions diverge. Irene has always been rich; she saw money as something simple, giving money to others wasn't a big deal. Meanwhile, Seulgi must've felt dependent and it surely hurt her pride. Besides, there were enough people saying that Seulgi was only dating Irene to get money from her…

"And there's more." Irene's voice becomes quieter, more fragile. "My family, they're… very conservative. It was already hard enough for them to accept my sexuality. They never did, to be honest… but they particularly don't like Seulgi, because she's not, hm, on my "social level", as they like to say."

Ooh.

This is more complicated. Seulgi doesn't know what it feels like; her family is very open minded. She told you that, in the beginning, her parents were shocked when she told them that she also liked girls, but they slowly accepted it. Irene, on the other hand… 

"They keep saying that my relationship with her will be bad for the company." She confesses. "They said they'd even accept my relationship, as long as we dated in secret."

"What?!" you gasp. "This is disgusting!"

"I know." Irene nods, eyes focused on the mug between her hands. You have the impression that you see tears welling up on her eyes, but she blinks rapidly to dissipate them. "I… I was willing to go against them, because if they don't accept my relationship, then they don't accept who I am. But… I don't know if it's worth doing this if I'm not sure if Seulgi feels the same about me."

Ouch.

You remembered the night when they broke up. Seulgi came to you, crying, and said that she was tired of being with someone that wasn't brave enough to accept her.

Seulgi, my dear… you know nothing.

You can see that to go against her parents isn't as simple as it sounds. To Irene, going against her family involves reputation, money, and the company itself. It's definitely a big deal. Seulgi didn't understand how serious it is.

And Irene is willing to take this big step for her.

It's your time to sigh. 

"Irene." you lean closer, staring at her seriously. "Do you still love Seulgi?"

She blinks at your direct question. Irene looks down, gulps… and nods.

"I do love her."

You can't hear any hint of doubt on her voice.

That's what you wanted to hear.

"She's not okay." You blurt out the truth. Irene widens her eyes softly and looks at you. You see guilt on her eyes as she hears this. "I came here because I'm worried about her. She doesn't act like herself anymore. She even got tired of Netflix."

Irene widens her eyes in shock. "She stopped watching Netflix?!"

"Yes." You nod seriously. "And she still loves you, too."

Irene freezes when you say this.

Now, you're sure of the tears welling up on her eyes.

"I…" she stutters, unable to form a coherent sentence. "A-Are you sure?"

You can't help but giggle at her; Irene looks shy, almost like a teenager - scared and excited to know that her crush likes her back. You feel your own heart warming up at the sight.

"Of course I'm sure."

A smile wants to make its way up to her lips. "B-But what do I do? I can't just walk up to her like this. I don't want to start another fight…"

"Irene, believe me. Seulgi will listen to anything you have to say, as long as you're being honest. Tell her about the situation with your family. Prove to her that you're willing to stand for her. I mean, if you're still willing to…"

"I am!" Irene exclaims in a heartbeat. "I am. As long as she's with me, I feel like I can do anything."

You feel yourself smiling. Irene's eyes are shining like diamonds.

"But you also have to try to understand her." You say seriously. "Seulgi is not wrong for wanting to be independent. She's finishing her studies, she wants to build a career for herself, and she wants her own money. I know you're trying to help, but you have to respect her. Also, I'm sure she doesn't want to be a burden for you."

Irene nods vehemently. "Okay. You're right. I get it."

She doesn't hold her smile back anymore as a tear rolls down her cheek. She looks so immensely happy… it's a delightful sight. And you can't help but feel happy too, because right now, more than ever, you see that Seulgi found something rare and precious in this world.

True love.

And this fact itself is enough to make you feel that coming here was worth it - even though Seulgi might want to kill you afterwards.

"But hey, Irene," you call her seriously again. "I'm doing all this because both of you stupid asses couldn't, but if you make Seulgi cry again, I will kill you. I know where you work now."

Irene laughs at your very serious threat. She leans forward and holds both of your hands. "Y/N, thank you so much for telling me all this. I will forever be grateful. If you need anything- and I mean anything- I will help you, okay? Anything!"

"Alright, alright," you say, shrugging, the slight thought that a millionaire owns you a favor sounding nice. "Now, you better go talk to Seulgi. I can't stand her walking around the living room looking like a zombie anymore." Irene laughs softly. "And… I said I wasn't hungry, but now I kind of want that waffle."

Seulgi looks like a very grumpy zombie when you meet her in the corridor.

"Where the hell were you?!" Seulgi exclaims. "It's noon!"

"Yeah, I know." you shrug. "The bank was pretty crowded."

Seulgi narrows her eyes. Her hair looks messy even though it's tied up and she has bags underneath her eyes. She's wearing the top of her old orange pajamas. It has an old kitchen oil stain over the chest. Seulgi from months ago would rarely go out looking like this. 

"What the hell did you need to do there anyway? I didn't even know people still go to banks." She whines. "I was getting worried, you know?"

You walk down the corridor with your hands behind your back. You're glad Seulgi is too grumpy to notice the sly smirk on your lips, the way you kind of bounce by her side in expectation.

"Always so thoughtful, Seul. You're so cute, did you know that?"

She side eyes you, the frown deepening. "Why are you complimenting me?"

"What's the problem with complimenting you?"

"Whenever you compliment me it means either you want something or you did something that you know will piss me off."

Sometimes you forget how well Seulgi knows you. 

"Jesus, you're too stressed, girl. I'll pay you lunch, okay? Let's eat at that Italian restaurant you like."

"When you offer yourself to pay for stuff it also means that-"

Seulgi stops in her tracks, completely frozen.

"Irene?"

You step back silently and hold your breath.

This is the moment that might end your friendship with Seulgi if it goes bad.

Irene seems to be holding her breath as well, her eyes round - scared, hesitant, hopeful. 

And they stand there, looking at each other. As if time has slowed down. As if there was no one else besides them in the busy corridor.

If this was a drama, you imagined that the romantic soundtrack would kick in now.

"Hi, Seulgi." Irene says softly. "It's… it's been a while."

It seems that Seulgi's brain is struggling to function. "What… what are you doing here?" the fact that she does not sound defensive or aggressive but genuinely surprised and confused relieves your chest. 

"I came here to talk." Irene says. "Just… just talk. But if you want me to go…"

"No." Seulgi interrupts her embarrassingly too fast. "It's alright. We… we can talk. Just talk."

Their eyes are gleaming and the ghost of smiles appear on their lips.

Your chest fills with triumph as you silently walk back. Not that either of them would even notice you anyway.

You're too far to hear what they're saying now, their soft voices drowning in the middle of the many more people walking around the corridor, but you still kind of hide inside an empty classroom, half of your body peeking outside of the door to watch them. They're talking and smiling timidly. You feel tempted to take some photos, but it's better not to. You kind of feel like an intruder watching them, even if you're this far-

"What are you doing?" 

You almost feel your spirit jumping out of your body when the male voice asks dangerously close to your ear, turning around in a jump to see the source.

Now you don't know if your heart is beating so ridiculously fast because of the scare of because of the view in front of you.

Jungkook looks down at you with a puzzled expression, his hands behind his back, his body slightly leaning on your direction. He's wearing a modern grey hanbok over a black t-shirt and slippers. His backpack hangs from one shoulder. His hair is half tied up in a small bun, curly bangs falling over his eyes. This is precisely what makes your heart almost fail. You've been wondering how he would look like with his hair tied up ever since he decided to let it grow…

He's got no business looking this good. No. Fucking. Business.

But you're a master of pretending you're unbothered, so you just point ahead at their direction with an excited smile. Jungkook's eyes look up to where you're pointing and his eyes widen.

"Oh!" Almost instantly, he kind of hides behind you as well. It's hard to ignore the warmth of his body on your back, even though he isn't close enough to touch you. "Did they make up? Are they dating again?" 

"I hope they will." it's weird how you're both speaking so low, as if they could possibly hear you over the loud chatter. 

"What if they start fighting?" 

"Don't even say that! I put my friendship with Seulgi at risk to get these two to talk!"

You turn your head in time to see Jungkook's eyes frowning as he realizes what's going on.

"It was you?"

"Of course it was."

He crosses his arms over his broad chest and shakes his head slowly in disapproval. "You said you wouldn't get involved!"

"I never said I wasn't going to get involved." you bat your lashes prettily at him, trying to give your best innocent look (unsuccessfully). 

"You damn gremlin."

You whack his chest. "Aw, come on! Just look at them and tell me it isn't working!"

Both of you look ahead again to see them smiling sweetly at each other as they talk. You bounce and giggle excitedly like a little kid. "Look, look! She's blushing!"

Jungkook tilts his head to the side. "But what about Jennie?"

"Oh, Irene and Jennie went out on dates, but it didn't work out in the end. They're just friends." you repeat the exact same words Irene told you earlier. 

"Are you sure?"

"Well, if she cheats on Seulgi, I'll kill her."

You watch as they slowly start to walk away side by side, heading towards the exit.

You jump out of your "hideout" and open your arms in triumph. "I did great this time, didn't I?!"

Jungkook chuckles and leans on the doorway, arms crossed. "Whatever you say."

You're an expert at acting unbothered, but right now it's really hard to do so when he looks at you this way.

He has a pretty lazy smile on his lips. It makes you feel hot inside and your stomach jumps and your heart races. His gaze is intense… but not in the way you're used to. That look isn't his I want to fuck kind of look, it's… it's… shit, you don't know what that means, but it's pretty intense. Why is he looking at you like that?

You just hope he doesn't notice how your legs are wobbly.

It's the first time you see him in person since two days ago, when he slept at your house. Two days after you had sex even though you said you wouldn't. You didn't talk properly about what happened there. To be honest, your brain still didn't process that well. 

Things are awkward between you two - but this time it's a different kind of awkward. A type of awkward that made your cheeks burn while you cleaned yourself and got dressed. A type of awkward that made you feel all fuzzy and warm inside, that made a silly smile grow on your lips every time your eyes crossed his from the other side of the living room, an awkwardness that forced you both to look away and try to pretend your cheeks weren't aching from the damn smile that didn't want to go away. A type of awkward that didn't let you talk about what happened - as if none of you wanted to talk about it, to just keep it engraved in your minds forever, as if talking about it would take all the magic of the moment away.

You don't hate this type of awkward. 

It's not uncomfortable. Not like what has been happening for the past months. Yet, you feel that you need to talk about it - to sort things out clearly and straightforwardly this time… because if the way he's looking at you means anything, then maybe… just maybe…

"I've got good news." Jungkook says suddenly (because he noticed that you've been staring at each other for far too long to not be embarrassing anymore). 

"What?" you fiddle with your own fingers, trying to ease the tension.

"Remember that director I told you about? Mr. Choi?" You nod. "He invited me to work with him."

Your jaw drops, your eyes widen. "What? Are you serious?!"

Jungkook nods excitedly. "Yeah. Well, I'll be like the assistant of the assistant, to be honest, but… he invited me to work with him on his next project. I'll gain some real experience, at least…"

"Are you kidding? This is great, Kook! What the fuck!"

You jump over to hug him, your arms dropping around his shoulders, and Jungkook quickly hugs you back. His low excited giggle right next to your ear makes goosebumps crawl on your skin. 

"I'm so fucking proud of you!" And you couldn't be more honest. Jungkook has always been so  hardworking; he deserves all the success and recognition in the world. You always thought so.

"Thank you," his voice is still low and excited.

He caresses your back. It makes yet more goosebumps crawl on your skin. 

Oh, God. He still smells like baby powder. He always does. You feel tempted to sniff the crook of his neck, just to take a little bit more of his scent, but you hold yourself back. It's not like hugging Jungkook is something new to you. Fuck, after everything you've done, hugging should feel like nothing. But for some reason… hugging him right now feels like a lot.

Feels awkward.

So awkward that you have to remind yourself that you're in the middle of a corridor full of people, and that this hug is taking way too long, so you step back before your brain completely malfunctions. 

"A-And," you clear your throat and put a strand of hair behind your ear, furiously avoiding his gaze. You never thought that Jungkook would make you feel shy like this. Shy and Y/N shouldn’t make sense in the same sentence. "When is this next project?"

"In two days. I think he decided to put me on the crew last minute."

"This means that he really trusts you."

Jungkook smiles sheepishly and massages the back of his neck. "I just hope I won't mess things up."

"You'll do great, Kook. You always do."

He lifts his gaze to you again.

That same look again.

You feel that everything is blurred except him again. No one else is in that corridor. No loud chatter. Just him and his starry eyes, looking back at you, eyes that smile as much as his lips.

God.

You need to sort things out.

You can't just stare at him with heart eyes like this anymore. You need to talk about what happened. This conversation feels awkward because you're both trying to act normal, pretending that there isn't a fucking elephant in the room - an elephant that makes you think of a mattress in the middle of your living room, of sunrays touching his exposed skin, of old pajamas being thrown around and sweat and soft kisses and salty tears dripping down your temples.

You need to know if he also felt that that morning was different. You need to know if he feels the same. Even if he doesn't - even if his heart lays with Yeri or Joy or whoever it might be - you need to know, and you don't care about what the outcome might be. You just can't torture yourself like this anymore.

So you inhale and gulp.

"Jungkook, I was thinking… are you busy after classes?" you ask timidly.

He presses his lips together. "Actually, I am. The boys and I are planning to celebrate the end of the semester tonight."

Mission abort! Mission abort!!

"Why?"

"Oh- it's nothing. I was just…" you can't think of any excuse. "It's not that important anyway. Forget it."

Jungkook looks at you with suspicion. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah! I'm sure. Nevermind."

He still stares at you for a while, frowning. 

"You wanna come with us?"

"No!" you shake your hands dismissively. You're not having this super important conversation surrounded by all of his friends. "I'm just gonna bother you guys. It's fine, Jungkook. Enjoy your night." 

Jungkook shrugs. He takes his phone from his back pocket for a moment. "Well, I gotta go. I promised I'd pay Jimin lunch."

"Alright."

You start to walk in opposite directions.

“But we can meet tomorrow, right?” You turn around way too fast when you hear Jungkook say, a few steps away from you. He looks hesitant, an awkward little smile on his lips. “I have some stuff to do, but we can see each other at night. After I finish preparing my stuff. We could meet, right?” He visibly starts to look more and more awkward as he speaks. As if his confidence started to vanish. It’s kind of adorable. “You could come to my place. O-Or I could go to yours, I don’t care- I mean, can I?”

Your heart is bouncing crazily inside of you. You don’t notice how you’re mirroring his awkward smile. “Of course, Kook. When did you ever need permission to go to my apartment?”

Jungkook frowns as if he just realized how stupid his ask was. “Guess you’re right. Or maybe we could go out somewhere, right? It’s been a while since we went out, the two of us.”

He’s right. All you’ve been doing for the past months is meet to have sex. You don’t even remember the last time you two did something that didn’t involve getting naked. 

“Sure, let’s go out.” 

You stare at each other for a few more awkward moments (awkward is a word you’ve been thinking a lot about lately). See, that’s not how things would go between you two back then. Neither of you ever needed to ask previously to go out. You’d just usually drag Jungkook out of his house by force when you deemed he hasn’t been taking enough sunlight (fucking Overwatch). Or Jungkook would call you at 3am because he was bored of playing Overwatch and just realized there was only expired milk and an empty box of cereal in the cabinets because the last time he and Jimin bought food was 2 weeks ago and he’d be like “hey, let’s go to Walmart” and you’d be like “what the fuck Jungkook it’s 3am” and he’d be like “but Jimin’s not home I need help” and you’d be like “fuck you” but twenty minutes later you’d both be on your pajamas pushing a cart inside of an empty Walmart as you barely register Jungkook ranting about how he thinks he’s lactose intolerant because he had diarrhea the last time he ate yogurt.

That’s kind of how things used to go back then.

At the same time you desperately want your relationship to go back to normal, you don’t really hate the way you’re feeling right now.

“Right, I gotta go.” Jungkook snaps out of it faster than you and nods. “I’ll text you later.”

“Okay.”

Again, you turn around and start to walk in opposite directions. Slowly. Hesitantly. Because both of you know you don't want to go. Both of you know you still have a lot to talk about.

But maybe later.

[bby bear]: i kinda want to kill you rn but

[bby bear]: thank u so fcking much

[bby bear]: ily

[bby bear]: bitch

You're smiling so hard that your cheeks might probably start to ache. If Seulgi texted you this, it means things went really well with Irene. 

The chatter in the dining hall is nothing but background noise on your ears as you scroll down your boring Instagram feed, the plate just half eaten in front of you. You’re not really hungry. Maybe the stress of studying for finals messed your stomach. The hell’s finally over, at least, and you’re sure that your grades won’t be that bad (Seulgi didn’t want to do anything, but you at least convinced her to study with you. That’s the only thing that got her out of her bedroom. Her zombie state was kinda the reason why you studied so hard). 

Some text notifications pop on your screen, but you just swipe them away since none of them are from the person you’re waiting for. All of your friends are planning to go out tonight and some of them are asking if you want to go. No, you don’t. Honestly, you’ve not been feeling yourself these days. Past you would always be up to a party. Past you wouldn’t be having lunch alone in the dining hall - honestly though, you don’t even mind being by yourself. Nothing would make you feel emptier right now than being surrounded by random people. Just one person matters at the moment-

“Hi.”

You almost drop the phone inside the plate when you look up to see who just sat in front of you.

Joy.

Your throat feels suddenly bitter. You have to gulp.

“Jesus, I didn’t even notice you come,” you inhale and chuckle. “How you doing, Joy?”

Joy smiles. “I’m fine.”

She’s lying.

There’s something in the way she looks at you and in the way her smile looks plastic-fake that makes you shiver.

It makes you think that she didn’t even want to be here.

Well, you don’t know about her, but you certainly feel uncomfortable right now. You can’t lie that you’ve been feeling kind of guilty these days because you’ve been fucking the guy she likes in secret, but a big fat load of guilt hit you especially after two days ago. Joy went on a date with Jungkook and barely a few hours later you had him inside of you. And, of course, you had rough sex with him inside of her bathroom. All the while you knew Joy liked him and encouraged her to be with him-

Wow, it’s getting hard to look at her right now. 

You really are a bitch. In the beginning you didn’t feel bad because you stupidly assumed there weren’t feelings involved. It was just friends with benefits, right? You even agreed that you could have sex with other people. If Jungkook started dating Joy, of course you’d stop doing it. Also, there was nothing between you two. You didn’t even feel jealousy.

Things changed, though, and at some point you genuinely started to hate this poor girl for breathing around Jungkook. And now you feel guilty because you realized that you like the guy that she told you she had a crush on months ago.

I took a shower this morning, so why do I feel so dirty right now?

A shiver runs down your spine.

The way she’s looking at you… what if she knows-?

“I’m throwing a party tonight,” she says suddenly. “To celebrate the end of the semester. You wanna come?”

You’ve been fucking the guy she likes for months and there she is, being nice and inviting you to her party. You really are a fake ass bitch-

“O-Oh.” You rub the back of your neck. “I, uhm… thanks, Joy, but I’m not feeling very well today. I just feel like sleeping, to be honest.” You chuckle sheepishly again. 

Joy nods. “Alright.”

She doesn’t insist. It looks like she doesn’t even care. As if she’s just being polite.

In fact, it kind of looks that she’s relieved that you said no-

“So, how was your date with Taehyung?” She changes the topic quickly. “We didn’t even talk about it.”

Right. She’s talking about the person you don’t even want to think about because there’s only so much guilt one person can feel at once. 

“It was fun.” You say. “We had a lot of fun.”

It sounds stupid, the way you can’t even articulate your date with him. You’re not lying - you had fun… kind of. 

“Are you dating him now?”

Okay, this is getting strange. Not the question, but the way she asked. You’re 100% sure she’s annoyed by something, and honestly looks uninterested in your current state with Taehyung right now, so why is she asking anyway? 

“No, we’re not.” You admit. 

Joy stares at you in silence as if she’s waiting for you to say something more, but you say nothing else. Joy then nods. This is getting very uncomfortable.

You feel that she’s about to leave, so you pick up the courage to speak again. She touched this topic anyway.

You know it’s wrong to ask. You shouldn’t. But you’re so curious that you can’t help.

“A-And, uhm… what about you and Jungkook? How was your date?” you try so hard to pretend you’re not dying curious to know.

Joy stares at you in silence again. She isn’t smiling.

“He didn’t tell you?”

What? Is there something to tell?!

“No. Jungkook’s kinda private about this type of thing,” you’re lying, of course, because even if Jungkook didn’t want to, you’d usually annoy him with questions about his dates so hard that he’d end up telling everything that happened.

Joy looks away and quirks one eyebrow. “Oh. I assumed he would have since you guys are so close.”

The way she says so close bothers you.

It’s her turn to rub the back of her neck, her eyes glued on the table - only she doesn’t look nervous. Yeah, she’s annoyed. Joy takes so long to talk that you’re about to repeat your question, but she finally speaks:

“We also had fun. Jungkook really is a sweet guy, right? He did nothing wrong. He’s so polite that it ended up annoying me, honestly. More polite than I would have wanted him to be…” Hah, so they didn’t fuck! Great! “Well, he dropped me home and I invited him to spend the night and all, but… He was very polite. He apologized a lot and said that he couldn’t stay…”

Joy licks her lips. Why the dramatic pause? Say it already, come on!

“He’s also a very honest guy, right?” She chuckled, but she clearly didn’t think it was funny. “He said that he thought I was an amazing person, but things wouldn’t go further than this because…”

For the first time, Joy lifts her gaze and looks at you.

“Because he already had feelings for someone else.”

You’re honestly not breathing anymore.

Joy is watching you very carefully. You’re as stiff as a board.

“Not a fun way to finish a date, right?” She says and chuckles, again, it’s clear she isn’t happy at all. “Anyways, I have to go now. Bye.” 

She gets up and walks away before you can even say anything, as if this conversation was being unbearable for her.

Meanwhile, you just sit there. Frozen. Breathless.

He said things wouldn’t go further than this.

Your throat feels very dry out of sudden. Very, very dry and coarse, as if you’ve eaten sand. 

Because…

You take the water bottle from over the table and drink it in one big, big gulp, until the bottle is empty and your shaking fingers crushed the fragile pet bottle.

He already had feelings for someone else.

You get up and take the tray so fast that you almost drop everything.

Your movements are fast as you walk out of the busy dining hall, your heart beating loudly on your ribcage, your breathing irregular and your mind working at 200 km/h.

He already had feelings for someone else.

He told Joy this. He dropped her home and told her the truth. He apologized. He… he said he already had feelings for someone else. Jesus Christ. Your heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s going to stop anytime soon.

He- He-

He might be talking about Yeri, a little, hesitant voice inside your mind whispers. Well… sure. You’ve been suspecting it for a good while. But… after Jungkook dropped Joy home and said this he-

He went to your apartment.

He went to you.

You feel the need to stop walking and lean on the corridor’s wall. The world around you is blurred.

What is this feeling bubbling up in your chest? A feeling so strong that it’s almost spilling over? This thing that makes you open the widest smile you ever opened and makes you want to jump around the corridor like crazy?

He came to me. He came to me. He came to me. He came to me.

He came to me!

But-

But there’s still the Yeri possibility. 

You need to know the truth. To hear him say it, and you can’t wait another day - not anymore.

You take your phone from your bag and type with shaking fingers.

[you]: hey

[you]: can we meet today?

[you]: i really need to talk to you

Jeon Jungkook is a simp. 

He doesn’t like this word. He thinks it’s annoying how people would call a guy a simp just because he’s treating a girl with minimal decency. 

But, like. He’s a simp. He knows he is. He took a long time to admit this, but lately his pride has been already so crushed and stepped on by a particular pair of feet that he can’t even bring himself to feel anything anymore.

Actually, no. He has been feeling like shit for a long time. It’s just the alcohol anesthetizing him right now.

That’s just his second bottle of beer and he already feels kind of dizzy. It’s been a while since he last drank alcohol, that’s probably why his resistance feels weak. He makes a mental reminder to not drink too much. Jungkook knows that he gets really talkative when he’s drunk and he always ends up saying stuff he shouldn’t - and today especially he can’t end up saying stuff he shouldn’t with that guy around.

If he knew Taehyung would be here too, Jungkook wouldn’t have come. Yes, he knows he’s being childish. He knows he’s angry at someone that didn’t do anything wrong, he knows that jealousy is bad, he knows that technically he is wrong because he’s been dicking down the girl that he knew his friend liked. He knows all that, alright?!

Jungkook throws his head back and sighs, passing his hand through his hair. A chilling night breeze touches his cheeks; since the inside of the bar was already full and they were too many, everyone decided to sit on the outside part of the bar. Jungkook hasn’t been paying attention to anything anyone around him was saying and neither was he interested. He thought that coming here would make him forget about the things that have been troubling him, but in the end he’s just thinking more about them.

I could excuse myself and go home. He thought. I have a lot of things to do anyway. I wouldn’t be lying.

He feels a hand rest on his shoulder and looks at Jimin, sitting on a chair by his side. The look on Jimin’s face already says everything. Jungkook sometimes thinks that Jimin has telepathic superpowers; how does he always know what’s going on before anyone even says anything?

“You alright?” Jimin asks in a low tone, careful not to call anyone’s attention. The younger one nods.

“Yeah.”

“You’re lying.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook reassures. 

Taehyung laughs loudly from across the table and both of them end up looking at him. Jimin looks back at Jungkook. 

Jimin sighs. “You know you can go home if you want to.”

“Yeah.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Just… don’t do anything stupid.”

Jungkook looks at Jimin and sips a bit more of the beer slowly.

“Yeah.”

Jimin smacks his shoulder and goes back to his previous conversation with Hoseok.

How Jimin always seems to know what’s going on… it annoys Jungkook a lot. He wasn’t supposed to know anything. It’s not like Jungkook told him about his feelings, Jimin just… realized. They were doing grocery shopping one day and Jungkook mentioned how last time he went to Walmart you told him that the diarrhea he had wasn’t because he was lactose intolerant but because the yogurt was expired and then Jimin turned around and simply said:

“You like her, right?”

And Jungkook gasped.

Jimin smirked knowingly and just kept pushing the cart. He said nothing else - but it was as if Jungkook had just confessed his deepest feelings right there.

This happened a little bit after Jungkook and Yeri broke up and kind of made him feel offended. How could Jimin say he liked you? He hadn’t even gotten over Yeri, Jimin knew very well. However, it seems that Jimin is not only a telepath, he can also see the future, because he couldn’t be more right.

If Jungkook’s being honest with himself, some months ago he wasn’t really really sure about what he felt about you. As the “Yeri” scar started to heal he got more aware of his own feelings and actions towards you, but it was hard to sort things out because he was always in denial. That desire to hold you close and hug you and take care of you and not let anyone hurt you anymore? Well, that was just his protective side. You have always been one of his dearest people. Jungkook also knew that he had a little possessive side. He was sure that this feeling would eventually vanish.

Maybe he was also frightened because he knew it wasn’t reciprocal. You never even looked at him in a way that might mean you felt something else for him. He wasn’t going to confess something he wasn’t sure of to someone that definitely didn’t feel anything for him and destroy a life-long friendship.

But oh boy, how things have changed.

They changed the moment you hopped on his lap that night inside his car. Jesus, that first week was hell for Jungkook. He was trying so, so hard to forget the messy drunken memories of his night with you - especially because, the moment he woke up and saw the pure face of terror on your face when you realized what just happened, he thought of how much you regretted that and all of his hopes died right there - the hopes that maybe, just maybe, you could be more than friends.

Yet, he got to taste you again. Two times were all it took to get him addicted.

He couldn��t stop anymore - and it hurt him much more than he would like to admit. He felt that he was being used, even though he let you do it (and he enjoyed it every time, not gonna lie). He felt worthless, he felt angry at himself because he couldn’t stop and because you were so, so fucking stupid, so fucking blind, he felt sad because he watched as your friendship started to slowly die down, and now he feels jealous and guilty because he’s been seeing how Taehyung likes you - how Taehyung even asked him advice to ask you out - and he didn’t stop fucking you anyway.

That day at Joy’s house? It was ridiculous. Jungkook still doesn’t understand what the fuck happened to him, why he felt so angry. Perhaps he was finally getting tired of how dumb you are, how you can’t see what’s right in front of your face. 

Just thinking about you hurts now. And Jungkook thinks about you a lot. There he is, surrounded by his friends, where he should be talking and having fun, but he’s too busy thinking about you. In two days he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, his first real job. He should be thinking about it. Not about you.

He can’t stop thinking about your flustered face.

You don’t look flustered that often. Especially not around him. 

He thinks this is very intriguing.

What hurt him the most in all this - the thing that made him feel like a piece of shit more than anything - is that he knows you too damn well and he knew that it was never special to you. To you it was just sex, it was just fun; whenever your lips touched you never felt like you were being swept off your feet like he did, whenever you touched him you didn’t feel like just then, in that moment, everything was right - as if the Universe was only created for that specific moment to happen, as if the Universe was expectantly waiting for the moment his fingers ran on your skin freely since the very beginning.

He never felt like this with anyone else. No other pussy has ever made him feel this poetic. 

The fact that Jungkook knew you didn’t feel the same was exactly why he couldn’t stop; this would be the closest he’d ever be from you in that sense - and honestly, after he tasted you, he didn’t want to go back to stage one. You were like a drug. You brought him comfort, you brought him bliss. Having sex with you became somehow of a escapist method. But, just like every drug, you started to make him feel sick… so sick that he couldn’t stand to be around you when you weren’t fucking. 

He drifted away.

God, he even stupidly tried to move on, but Joy was a foolish try. Jungkook felt bad for using her like this - even though he never even kissed her, he felt that he was fooling her anyway. Going on that date with Joy made everything worse, because he was with that gorgeous, intelligent and lovely girl, but he couldn’t feel anything but fucking empty.

He also realized that you couldn’t be his drug anymore. You deserved much more than that. That’s why he drove all the way to your apartment like a magnet. He preferred to go back to stage one if necessary, if it meant that he could be around you without feeling like a worthless piece of shit anymore.

Of course - things didn’t work out that way.

But that morning- it was different.

Jungkook has to sip more of his beer just thinking about it.

It was different.

It was… quiet, very quiet. Much more quieter than he was used to. And much closer than he ever remembered. 

All the times he had sex with you - his body was being pleased, but his soul felt hurt. This time, though, he felt that his whole self was being healed. You didn’t feel like a drug. You felt like a cure.

As if you were connected in somehow of a deeper way.

As if this time, it wasn’t one-sided on his part.

Jungkook can’t stop thinking about it. His pessimistic side tried to convince him that he was being delusional or dramatic (he has this tendency to overthink anyways) and maybe he was, but, again… you don’t usually act flustered, especially not around him. And you’ve been looking flustered around him for quite some now, even before that morning. Sure, your friendship became uncomfortable at some point and he realized that none of you knew how to act around each other anymore, but still… 

What about that time you saw a picture of Yeri on his computer?

You looked very, very awkward.

Or how you sometimes seemed bothered when Joy was around. You teased him a lot at that pool party. Jungkook knew you could get kinda kinky sometimes (he knew you liked the thrill of possibly being caught), but that felt like too much even for you.

His pessimistic side once again tried to convince him that he was seeing things. You wouldn’t be acting jealous. You were never jealous of him with any girl. Never. You even encouraged him to be with Joy, right?

What if… what if maybe, just maybe…?

Stop getting your hopes too high, his pessimistic side scolded. You look stupid.

I’ve been looking stupid for a goddamn long time, Jungkook thinks back. His pessimistic side looks back at him with disdain.

Jungkook frowns and looks at the bottle of beer on his hand. This is just regular beer, right? He surely isn’t so drunk that he’s already arguing with himself.

I should probably go home.

Or…

He could go to your home.

You wanted to talk to him earlier today. You looked very hesitant - again, very uncharacteristic of you. It felt like it was something important. Perhaps you wouldn’t mind if he knocked on your door unannounced - wait, you never cared. At least when your relationship didn’t involve rough sex. I mean- you didn’t mind not even when you started fucking, to be honest.

Why do I feel so nervous? I’ve never felt nervous over such a stupid thing. I mean, she’s the same dumbass I’ve known my whole life.

You’re probably home doing nothing. That’s also very uncharacteristic of you. Normal you would be at some club or party right now, celebrating the end of the semester. Normal you would probably have tried to drag him along. Or you’d meet some time during the night when you’re both too drunk to be standing and then you’d end up at 5am at the usual Burger King because you’re both hungry, and the Burger King employees would be staring at you both with anger and disgust because you’re both laughing like stupid and talking too loud and they’ve been up all night and can’t stand two drunk costumers this early in the morning.

It sounds nice.

Jungkook remembers that Seulgi and Irene made up, which means that Seulgi most definitely isn’t home.

Which means you positively are home alone.

Home alone, huh.

Jungkook sips more beer. 

This sounds nicer.

But, hey, it’s not like he’s being dirty minded (well, at least not entirely). He really wants to know what you wanted to talk about - and suddenly, he doesn’t feel like waiting until tomorrow. Maybe it’s the alcohol (maybe he really shouldn’t finish this beer), but he wants to see your face a lot right now. Your flustered face. And he kinda feels like holding your face with both hands and kissing you very slowly. And he kinda feels like going very very deep inside of-

You know what? Fuck it.

Jungkook puts the bottle over the table and is ready to get up. His excuse is ready. Nobody’s gonna think it’s strange anyway - Jungkook has actual stuff to do.

But he doesn’t have the chance to move when he notices a person approaching the tables where he’s sat.

He freezes.

It’s you.

You’re looking down at your phone before you lift your head and see the group of familiar faces a few meters away from you. You’re alone.

Jungkook’s heart starts to beat furiously inside his chest. A smile unconsciously increases on his lips. What are you doing here? He didn’t know you’d come. He’s also sure that he didn’t tell you which bar he would come to earlier today. Adrenaline rushes through his veins as a hundred ideas run on his mind in those few seconds; did you feel the need to see him as much as he wanted to see you? Did you have the same idea as him? Were you so eager to see him that you couldn’t wait until tomorrow-?

Your eyes finally cross his.

That’s when Jungkook notices something isn’t right.

You look surprised, then a second later you frown, then you slowly widen your eyes.

He knows you too damn well.

You didn’t know he’d be there, too. You’re surprised to see him. And it looks… it looks like you didn’t want to see Jungkook there.

“Y/N!”

A loud, excited, familiar male voice bursts out.

Jungkook watches frozen in place as Taehyung gets up in a swift movement, holds your face with both hands and kisses you.

Taehyung’s lips are warm against yours. They taste like toothpaste and beer.

The kiss is very brief. Taehyung breaks it alway soon, but still holds your face with his hands. He’s smiling widely.

“You're late, missy!" He says happily.

You're frozen in place.

This isn't happening. 

"I-" you stutter. It seems that your brain went into complete malfunction. "I, uhm…"

Your eyes travel back to Jungkook.

He's just watching. Not moving a muscle. No.

No no no no no no.

This can't be happening.

Jungkook wasn't supposed to be here. You thought- you thought he was going to celebrate with his classmates, you didn't expect Taehyung would be here too. No, no. Just no. 

You see the exact moment his features get as hard as stone. The way he clenches his jaw tight.

You can't breathe.

When you texted Taehyung earlier, you didn’t really like that he told you to meet him at a bar. A bar wasn’t the right place to have this type of conversation - you also felt bad that you’d probably ruin his end-of-semester celebrations - but you agreed anyway because you desperately needed to make things clear with Taehyung before you had that talk with Jungkook. You decided to do this because Jungkook was honest and fair with Joy; you needed to do the same. You left the worst of the impressions when you let Taehyung kiss you that day. You needed to tell him the truth, or else he’d just suffer more - and you couldn’t be a bitch enough to just dump him by text.

But fuck -  you didn’t expect Taehyung would fucking kiss you in front of everyone the moment he saw you!

With the corner of your eye, you see Jimin looking from you to Taehyung to Jungkook very fast, his face going pale as he realizes what just happened. No one else notices that something’s wrong.

Jungkook breaks eye contact with you and gets up from his chair. Jimin looks at him, helpless. You know that expression. He’s angry and- and-

Hurt.

You step away from Taehyung, trying to get control over your body again. It feels like pure frost has filled your veins. “T-Taehyung, I…” Your mouth is very dry again. You clear your throat. “C-Can we talk somewhere else?”

You suddenly hate how oblivious Taehyung is and how touchy he is because it’s clear that he’s moving his arm to hold your hand. What the fuck?! We just kissed once, it’s not like we’re dating!

“Sure. Do you wanna get inside? Wanna get a drink?” He asks with the same happy smile. 

You’re trying to think of something to say, but again, someone else behind him gets your attention.

“You’re going this early, Jungkook?” Hoseok whines, oblivious to the whole situation. Jungkook is putting his backpack over his shoulder. He’s looking down, jaw still very tight. Not a word said - yet you could see exactly how hurt he was. 

“Yeah. I have a lot to do.” He simply says. 

“Aw, come on, man!” Taehyung encourages. “You can stay a little longer!”

If Taehyung was a little less oblivious, he would have noticed the death glare sent in his direction.

“I can’t.”

A shiver crawls over your entire body as the death glare is now directed to you. 

He’s so, so hurt.

Jungkook’s walking away.

Stop! You want to scream. You got it all wrong! Don’t go!

But you don’t have the chance to stop him, and Jungkook doesn’t have the chance to walk away, and Taehyung doesn’t have the chance to understand what’s going on.

Everyone turns their heads when they hear a boisterous, scandalous laughter, and the sound of someone clapping their hands dramatically.

Now you’re sure that your veins are frosted. You shiver again - yet this time, it’s pure fear.

It’s Mike.

A very, very drunk Mike.

He looks the worst you’ve ever seen him; his clothes are a mess, his hair has grown a lot, and he hasn’t been shaving lately. His eyes are widened, red and maniac. He stumbles as he walks closer, everyone on the table - and the people on the tables around - stopping to look as he still claps ironically.

“Oh, look at what we have here!” he’s loud. Very loud. “So interesting!”

You notice that Jungkook isn’t walking away anymore - in fact, he comes back a few steps, standing closer to you. His body language has changed. Jimin has also gotten up; it seems that Taehyung might be starting to understand what’s going on.

“This is the funniest shit I’ve seen in a looooong time,” Mike continues. God, he’s drooling. This isn’t happening. That’s not possible.

You watch as some guys come closer to Mike and recognize them as his friends. One of them holds Mike’s arm. “Come on, man. Don’t start a scene. It’s not worth it.” He says in a rather low voice, but you can still hear it.

Mike gets off his grip aggressively. “What do you mean? Of course it’s worth it!” Mike looks at you and grins like a madman. You feel another shiver run down your spine. “Hello, Y/N! It’s been a long time! How have you been?!”

“Your friend’s right.” Jungkook speaks up. “Get out of here.”

“Ooooooh,” Mike shakes his hands as if pretending to be scared. “Look who’s here, too! It’s the bestie! Jeon Jungkook, the best friend your girlfriend could ever have!”

Pretty much everyone on the outside part of the bar is paying attention to what’s going on. They whisper between themselves, looking at Mike, you and Jungkook. You feel so embarrassed that you might as well faint. You feel that you should have said something already, but your brain is still malfunctioning. 

“Jeon Jungkook, the friend that will want to fuck your girl so bad, but he won’t because he’s a coward!” Mike screams and laughs like a maniac.

Jungkook steps up closer to Mike in a brusque movement, but Jimin’s fast enough to hold him back. At this point, all of his friends have already gotten up from the table, wanting to stop Jungkook from doing anything.

“Shut up, Mike! Let’s go!” Mike’s friends try to stop him as well, trying to drag him away, but even though he’s drunk, he’s still strong enough to stay in place.

“You think I didn’t know, huh, Jungkookie? You think I didn’t know that whenever I was balls deep inside of Y/N you wish it was you? You always wanted to make her scream like a bitch the way I did!”

At this moment, the fear and shame are overwhelmed by anger. Without realizing, you are the one stepping closer, you are the person who Taehyung has to grab the arm in order to stop. “Shut the fuck up, you son of a bitch!” You hear yourself yelling.

People on the tables around have gotten up - the noise of many chairs scraping the floor getting louder than the worried voices of the people trying to get away from this mess. You hear someone - a guard from the bar, maybe - threatening to call the police, but you can’t pay attention to him.

“Oh, but that’s exactly what you are! A whore!” Mike yells back. “You got so sad that I cheated on you, but haven’t you been doing the same to me?! You think I didn’t see you two inside the car that night?!”

That night… in the car…

Did he... ?

You freeze again when you see Mike pointing at Taehyung. 

“Hm, you’re Taehyung, right? Are you dating her now? Well, be aware of her best friend right here, unless you like sharing your girl! But Jungkook likes leftovers, right, Jungk-?”

He doesn’t finish the sentence.

Jimin isn’t strong enough to stop Jungkook from jumping over and landing a punch on Mike’s nose.

There’s yelling and the sound of tables turning as a whole lot of men try to stop the fight and glasses breaking and Jungkook screaming incomprehensible things as he holds Mike’s collar and punches once, twice, three times, and then Mike’s mouth and nose are bleeding, and Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung are trying to get Jungkook off Mike but it seems that not even the three would be enough to stop him.

You’ve never seen Jungkook so mad. It scares you because Mike is too drunk and can’t defend himself - but you’re not scared for Mike, that fucker can die -, you’re scared of what might happen to Jungkook.

So, when Jimin and the others drag Jungkook away as he still tries to free himself violently, you somehow squeeze yourself between them to hold Jungkook’s arm.

“Jungkook, stop!”

The black-haired man looks at you, his eyes red with rage in a way you’ve never seen before. 

You didn’t notice that, in your despair, your eyes filled with tears. This is probably what makes Jungkook stop for a moment.

“Enough! I called the police! Everyone out of the bar!”

A siren can be heard from far.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Jimin yells.

Another mess as everyone grabs their things and to try and run out of the bar - even the people that weren’t involved. You see that Mike hasn’t fainted as his friends grab him out of the bar in a rush.

Jungkook has to get out of here, it’s the only thing on your mind. Jungkook thinks the same apparently, because he’s quick to take his bag from the floor and jump over the bar’s fence to the sidewalk. You assumed that he didn’t drive his way here because he knew he would drink - which means he had to run.

Your only instinct is to follow him. 

You jump over the fence too, much more clumsily than him. Jungkook is already running down the street. 

As you’re about to follow him, you hear someone call your name.

It’s Taehyung.

He’s standing on the sidewalk as customers run out of the bar. And the look on his face crushes your heart.

I am the worst person in the world.

“Y/N, what he said… is it- is it true?” He asks quietly.

You open your mouth as if to say something, but nothing coherent comes out of it. The guilt rushes with adrenaline through your veins. You knew he would be hurt, but it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. It wasn’t.

“I-I’m sorry, Taehyung,” is the only thing you can stutter.

You don’t see what face he makes next - both because you can’t take it, and because you’re already turning around and running down the street after Jungkook.

Jungkook is the only thing on your mind.

You can’t let him go away like this.

You run through the busy streets full of bars. As usual, they’re crowded with people. Some of them look at you running like crazy when you pass by, but you can’t stop running because you can still hear the sirens.

Jungkook has some damn long legs. He runs much faster than you and doesn’t even look back. You can barely breathe and your stomach hurts as you unsuccessfully try to catch up to him. You keep running and running and running until you’re on less busier streets, until the bars are left behind and now you’re on a more residential part of the neighbourhood. As Jungkook crosses an almost empty square, you decided that your body can’t take it anymore. You stop gradually, feeling your entire body scream in pain.

“Jungk- Jungkook!” you yell. 

The black-haired man finally looks behind his back and sees you; he widens his eyes in surprise and stops. 

“Why are you-?”

He doesn’t have the time to finish his sentence as the sound of the sirens get closer. You immediately start to run again and this time - instead of running in front of you - Jungkook waits until you get closer to grab your hand, forcing you to run faster. You two cross the square and run into a stair alley with houses on both sides. It’s quiet here. Jungkook crouches down behind a big trash bin, making you crouch down as well.

You both make as much silence as possible (considering you’re both panting heavily), both sweating, and wait until the sounds and lights of the police siren go away.

After maybe five minutes Jungkook gets up again, dropping his backpack on the floor. He cleans the sweat on his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt; you rest your hands on your legs, trying to recover your breath. Your stomach hurts as if it has been stabbed. Maybe I should start working out.

You notice that Jungkook’s right hand is hurt; his knuckles are swollen and bleeding a little. He frowns in pain as he analyzes it. “You- you’re hurt.” you stupidly stutter. Jungkook shakes his head.

“It’s nothing.” He says in a low voice. “I said I would beat him up if I saw him…”

Out of instinct you step closer to him, worried, and lift your hands to hold his swollen one.

But Jungkook steps back before you can even touch him. He literally flinched away from you.

It feels like an arrow has just buried itself in your heart.

He’s not looking at you.

“Jungkook-”

“No.” He shakes his head again. He’s breathing heavily as if trying to calm himself down. “Don’t… don’t say anything. Please.”

It’s getting so difficult to breathe. Jungkook puts his hands on each side of his waist, staring at something on the floor - clearly avoiding your pleading gaze.

“But Jungkook, I… you didn’t…” why the hell can’t you speak a coherent sentence anymore? That’s why you followed him all the way. You must make things clear, but seeing his face right now makes you hesitate. Jungkook looks genuinely angry; you’ve never seen him like this, ever.

He throws his head back, looking at the sky, and lets a very dry chuckle past his lips. His expression tells you everything you need to know - he’s tipsy, not entirely drunk.

“You know, I don’t even understand why I’m angry.” You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or to himself. “There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.”

You feel yourself choking on your own words. What does he mean?

“Jungkook, you have to listen to me. I just wanted to talk to Taehyung-”

“You don’t need to explain yourself, Y/N!” He interrupts and finally gazes you back with bloodshot eyes. “We’re fuck buddies, right? It’s just for fun, right? No real feelings involved. It’s not like we’re supposed to care.”

Tears start to make your sight blurred. Each word of his sound more and more bitter, more sad, more hurt, and it feels like someone has buried the arrow in your heart deeper when you realize that his eyes are getting teary, too.

“Stop saying that. You know it’s not true. You’re the person I care about the most in this world-”

“If you start saying how I’m your best friend I’m leaving you right now.”

You frown and blink, trying to dissipate the tears. “B-But it’s true-”

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you! Stop acting like you don’t know that already!”

It feels like your brain and your limbs and your lungs stopped working all at once.

Did he… did he just…?

Jungkook exhales heavily. He looks so tired. He rests his back against the wall in front of you, once again avoiding your gaze.

Something tells you that this should have been a happy moment. Deep down, you feel the pure bliss and excitement and it feels like your heart will combust - because you finally heard the words you wanted to hear the most coming directly from his mouth, you finally understood everything; he felt the same, the fucking same.

Yet, all the happiness is being overwhelmed by worry.

You’re watching him intently. You know the man in front of you better than you know yourself. You’ve never seen this expression before - this mix of anger and hurt have never been directed towards you. You’re scared because you don’t know what it implies.

It’s his breaking point.

He might be giving up on you right now.

You don’t know what to say. For a long moment, you just stare at him as he tries to calm himself down - always avoiding your gaze. It seems that words won’t come out of your mouth no matter how hard you try.

“Since when?” is the only thing you can whisper after a long time.

Jungkook shakes his head and lets yet another lifeless chuckle. “I don’t know.” He says in a low, broken voice.

Your fingers are shaking as you close your hands in tight fists. He needs to hear the truth.

“Jungkook.” Yet again, you hesitantly step closer. Your voice is fragile, pleading. “You got it all wrong. Please, you have to listen to me. Today, I-”

“Yeah, I know I got it all wrong from the start.” He interrupts you again. Shut up!, you want to scream. Let me fucking speak!

However, you can’t speak anymore when you notice the tears dripping down his face.

Jungkook is crying.

It’s your fault.

He passes both hands over his face as quickly as the first tears started to fall and sighs heavily. He takes his bag from the floor and shoves it over his shoulder again, turning around before you can see his face again, before you have the chance to say anything.

“I’m going home. You should go home, too.”

And he starts to walk down the stairs way too fast.

Your body is moving before your mind registers and you try to catch up to him. “Jungkook, wait-”

“Don’t.”

Is the only thing he says without looking back.

This makes you stop.

You watch, frozen in place, as he walks down the stairs. You keep your eyes on him as he crosses the empty square again. He’s almost running.

He wants to get away from you as soon as possible.

You know Jungkook too well. You know that, even if you followed him, even if you insisted, he wouldn’t want to hear you anyway. He’d probably despise you even more. This is what made you freeze.

You suddenly feel your legs get weak and sit down on the stair steps. Not only your legs, actually. All of your limbs feel heavy. 

You don’t remember the last time you cried like this. The unstoppable tears just coming and coming and the sobs barely let you breathe. 

You’re crying because you’re ashamed of what just happened at the bar - how Mike made you feel humiliated in front of all those people. You’re guilty because you weren’t honest with Taehyung and now there’s no way back - you let him believe in whatever he wanted to believe instead of making things clear, and now he’s hurt.

And the worst of all.

You’ve been hurting Jungkook so bad for so long without realizing. You hurt the person you cared about the most. 

All of it is your fault.

God, it hurts so much.

You know Jungkook too well. He’s the person that has been always there with you for better or for worse. You always knew you’d have each other’s backs no matter what happens; he’s a part of you, the most important, most precious part of you.

This time, you genuinely don’t know what will happen from now on.

This time... you don’t know if Jungkook will ever forgive you.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

EZEKIEL ‘EZ’ REYES x READER ⨟ HEADCANON

Anon asked: There is not enough ez tho and you are great writer so can you write something about him falling in love with someone else after emily? headcannon or oneshot ?

Word Count: 1.6k

Author comments: This work wasn't re-edited, so I'm sorry if you find grammar mistakes! I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits: @angels-reyes.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @angelxshiba @destynelseclipsa @sheeshgivemeabreak @abbiesthings @knowles-morgan @lady-pswrld @minnicelli ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

When you walked to their table and asked what could you do for them, EZ only thought “marry me”.

It's been six months since your father opened his cafeteria at Santo Padre, and the Mayans come every two or three days, except when they're traveling.

They're already your friends.

But, even if EZ is the cutest guy you have ever met, he acts kinda strange some moments. Mostly, when you two are alone.

“Morning, boy scout. Coffee?”

It's too early so the place is almost empty. The Reyes is sitting at his table, writing something in a small notebook that he hides as soon as he notices you.

“Uh?” He asks then nailing an elbow over the white wood, pretending you haven't seen anything.

“Coffee?”

“Su—Sure”. He nods clearing his throat, offering you one of the mugs on the table.

“Were you writing… poems?”

“Poems? Po—Poems? No. No, no, no”. He laughs nervous, shaking his head. “That... shit ain't my style. No. Definitely, no”.

“I like ‘that shit’”. You just say, wrapping your left forearm with your right fingers, after serving the drink.

He looks at you with parted lips, noticing that he's a complete idiot, trying to pretend he's a bad boy just because of the piece of leather he's wearing.

“Hey, mami! Damn! Te ves preciosa por la mañana”. (You look beautiful in the morning). Taza's voice calls your attention, behind you.

“Hey, Aztecas”.

“Uh, right to my heart, querida”. Bishop pretends that you hit him, turning to the guys coming to the table.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee!” Angel says leaving a kiss on your cheek. “Oh, sorry, guys. Have we interrupted your Disney moment?”

“If you say that because your brother looks like ‘Dopey’ from Snow White… yeah, we were having a Disney moment”.

EZ talked about you with the crew. They all were happy because he, finally, was forgetting Emily. And he also looked somewhat more focused. But he's too dumb to talk with you and the crew is always trying to help.

“It's too late, EZ can take you home”. Tranq says, looking through the big glass to notice the empty avenue.

“Yeah! Right, boy scout?” Coco palms his back harder than he should, causing him to almost choke on the beer.

“Fo—For sure. For sure”. He replies coughing, cleaning his mouth with a hand.

“Don' worry, my boyfriend is gonna pick me up”.

Angel spits his drink all over Gilly, when he hears your words.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” The oldest Reyes asks with a high-pitched and shrill voice, trying to recover himself.

“Angel, don' try to escape from the friend zone, it's annoyen' put you in once and again”. You point at him, raising both eyebrows. “I was just kiddin', relax... About my boyfriend, not about the friendzone''.

“Anyway. EZ will take you home”.

“Will you?” Turning to the Reyes, he nods with pursed lips. Well, you actually don't know if he's agreeing or denying, because of the moves of his head.

The whole ride you are preparing yourself for something to happen, but nothing. He just hugs you for a second, before leaving.

Because of the next two weeks listening to his little brother saying that he's going to ask you out, Angel ends up going crazy.

Someone is hitting the small bell on the counter, making you nervous, until you're able to turn around frowning. You find Angel sitting on a stool. Messy hair, eye bags and the same clothes than yesterday. Serving him a coffee, you rest your forearms against the marble edge.

“Rough night?”

“Yeah, like the last two weeks, querida”. He answers by opening his eyes too much with an annoyed and singing voice.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah, by having a fucking date with my lil'bro”.

Wrinkling your nose, you lean back your head for a second. Confused like never before.

“You like him, dumbass. And since he took you home, he's the whole fucking damn time telling me he's gonna ask you out”. Bowing above the counter, he grabs your wrists resting his forehead on it, almost sobbing. “I fuckin' beg you, (Y/N). Go on a date with him”.

“Why doesn't he ask me?”

“'Cause he has never have a girlfri— Well, he had one, but that fuckin' bitch doesn' count”.

How was possible that a guy like EZ was single all the time. There is something fishy (...).

“But don' worry about sex. He's pretty goo— I mean, I don' know. Zero incest. But girls say so”. He says supporting his chin on the counter, smiling sideways. “I beg you. I'll do anything for you. Please. If I have to listen ‘I'm gonna ask (Y/N) out” again… Damn, preciosa, I swear to god I'm gonna be the fucking mexican Van Gogh”.

When Angel tells EZ that he has talked with you, he goes to the cafeteria like a bat out of hell. But you're not there. You asked for a day off. He thinks he fucked up things because of Angel's chat.

He has been trying to get your number at all cost to text you something. He doesn't know what. Maybe a ‘sorry, my brother is stupid’, maybe a ‘I would like to have a date with you’. But he can't get it.

The next morning he comes back to the cafeteria with the crew, but you're not working. And he feels somewhat disappointed. And Bishop already scolded Angel.

But then, EZ receives a call from the Romeros and Bros.

“Pretty girl asking for you, Ezekiel Reyes”.

He describes you getting up from his chair with his heart about to explode, under the Mayans look.

“Yeah, that's the pretty girl. She's waiting in the clubhouse”.

EZ rides his bike at full speed.

And he's about to have an accident. But it's Ezekiel Reyes. The golden boy. He can't have an accident. What do we say to the god of death? Not today, mijo.

EZ feels his legs trembling as he comes closer to the main door.

“He—Hey… Were you looking for me?”

“Why have you only had one girlfriend and ‘that bitch doesn' count’?”

The Reyes doesn't answer, turning around the bar in silence to grab a small glass, serve tequila on it and drink it in one gulp. After that, he holds your hand, pulling you to the closer sofa to sit with you.

“A man killed my mom. I chased him. I shot a cop by mistake. He died. I went six years to jail. I broke up with my girlfriend because she deserved someone better than me. Then... she aborted our baby, in some kind of revenge. But she still being around, even if I don' want her close, 'cause we work with his husband”.

You're freaking out, hiding it by a serious gesture with pursed lips, nodding for a second.

“I'm not the guy a father would want for her daughter. I should have told you one bit at a time, but I really fell in love with you, when you came to my table. A red lace with white dots tying your hair, the apple smell leaving a trail wherever you went, the smiley you write above every ‘i’ in our bills…”

Now you don't know if he's a psycho.

“Sorre', I remember shit. Photographic memory”.

Oh.

“I would really like to have a date with you, (Y/N)”.

“Were you writing a poem?”

“My mom used to read me every night, and I was studying Literature at college. I fuckin' love poetry”.

He finally gets the date. Tacos, dance, tequila and poems. The perfect one.

Angel sleeps like a baby that night.

Some months before, he introduces you to the club at a party, even if they already know you. But they're Mayans. They need parties like they need air to live.

For life issues, you meet Emily one day walking around Santo Padre, hanging out with Leti. She jeers about your relationship, until you break her nose and also one of your knuckles. Of course, you get arrested because she's Miguel Galindo's BITCH wife.

When EZ goes to pick you up, that BITCH woman is there, making a complaint against you accompanied by a man with braids and black sunglasses.

“Ezekiel”. She sobs, while you live the scene from the cell, rolling your eyes with a heavy snort.

The club has paid your bail, so you can go home after spending the night there. But you're not sure if you want to go home in case that, because of what you did, you're going to have trouble with your boyfriend. You don't want to lose him and maybe you should have thought better about it before hitting her.

The Reyes passes her away, straight to the cell being opened by a cop. And you're trembling, until the man puts his kutte on your shoulders, leaving a kiss on your temple.

“Let's go home, ex-con”. He jokes laughing, surrounding your neck with an arm, walking stuck to you.

EZ usually makes fun of you because of it, calling you “the mexicans Bonnie and Clyde”.

At the end, even if he doesn't have to prove it, he shows you everyday how much he loves you. And after two weeks you don't remember who the fuck is Emily Galindo.

[anystalker707]

Lights, camera and fuck off (2/4)

Pairing: Gerard Way x Fem Reader Word count: ~ 1 600 Genre: Fluff Requested on Wattpad Summary: Basically just a cute day between Gerard and Reader.

"It's fine here," I tell Gerard as seeing we're already near enough to the building, "it'll be difficult to park there. Also, you don't need to pick me up later. I know the guys are coming over and I need to do some other things, anyways, so it won't be a problem." I smile at him as the car finally comes to a stop.

Gerard turns to me with a smile, his grip around the steering wheel loosening, "are you sure? I can still do it, tho, if you want."

"No, it's fine," I reassure him - sometimes I feel like he'd do anything for me if he could or if I let him. "Anyways, do I look fine? Is my hair okay? The lipstick?" Holding my phone up, I observe myself through the reflex, taking a last check on myself.

"No," he answers, "something's missing." Before I'm able to ask what's it, Gerard's fingers grab my jaw, making me turn to him, and he places his lips over mine. A wordless way of reassuring me and certainly one of the most effective. He pulls away with a small smile, rubbing the corner of my bottom lip with his thumb, "now you are."

A blush takes over my cheeks as I smile, gazing at him adoringly. "'Love you," I say while leaving the car, hearing his faint love you too after I close the door.

.

"And do you have any goal? Would you like to work on something apart from Umbrella?" The interviewer asks with a wide smile and a good mood. Unlike most of the times, the interviewer is someone who actually understands the subject he's talking about and his eyes flash more admiration than ambition. Actually, the whole mood is more casual - the live interview happening in the headquarters of the news platform, with a small public who was notified about it a couple of days ago, but most of it certainly is watching through the internet.

"Practically pleading for a role in a BBC series or in a Marvel or DC movie. It'd be nice being the Doctor or some other superhero," I say sheepishly, earning some appreciative words from the people gathered around us with their phones in hands. "But I couldn't wish anything better than working in Umbrella, that's for sure," I grin proudly. "It's been my passion since it was firstly published."

"I understand," he raises his eyebrows briefly, nodding. "And," he takes a glance at the paper cards he's got in hand, "what are you doing now, until you start filming Umbrella's next season?"

"Though I've already been indicated for a few series and movies, but I'm going to spare some time so I can tag along with MCR for at least a part of the tour," there's certain smugness in my voice, but I can't help it, it's not everyone who has a chance like this.

"Oh, really?" The interviewer says; at the same time some muttering starts between the public. "You're doing it?"

"Hah," I breathe out, furrowing my eyebrows at him in certain disbelief, "I've been waiting for this for six years, of course I wouldn't lose the chance. The return concert was already amazing, I can't wait to see them on tour. Not to mention I never got to see them live before the break up, so... It'll certainly be a good experience." The mention of it makes anxiety start bubbling in my stomach once again, pretty much like every time I think about it. The thought makes me so happy.

"Ah, are you comfortable to talk about your relationship?" He asks carefully, still not seeming completely secure after I give a small nod - though he seems sweet until now, I'm mentally wishing he doesn't start with these repetitive or too intrusive questions. "Hows it dealing with all the repercussion?"

"Oh, well," I throw my head back, scratching my neck in thought. "It's annoying sometimes, but negative comments are common, aren't them?" I throw a hand in the air, shrugging, "we can't please everyone. And, about the ones who just want to annoy, I hope they grow empathy at some point."

With a smile, I turn to one of the cameras, internally wishing the shoes fit and people do stop it. "C'mon, I don't understand what's all the fuss about while people's always spreading about acceptance, but can't accept this. How much of hypocrites are y'all?" I chuckle, though really meaning it - my words receive another wave of appreciative comments from the people.

.

"Oh my God, do you fucking live here now? It looks like you own the place!" Frank says from the couch in a playfully indignant tone as seeing me closing the door behind me. Mikey cracks a chuckle, greeting me with a small nod.

Playing along, I roll my eyes dramatically, "yes, motherfucker, now I own everything, even the band and I'm kicking you out of it," I point a finger at Frank, narrowing my eyes - he gasps offended; all I do is to chuckle. I'm halfway up the stairs, about to question where's Gerard when he walks out of the kitchen. "Sup, king," I say, earning a reprehending look for him as he places a hand on his hip; he ends up giving up with a smile after I chuckle.

The guys are talking when I make my way back downstairs - having changed and left my bag upstairs - so I just greet Ray back with a wave when he sees me walking to the kitchen. Thankfully, the week hasn't been too busy for any one of us, so Gerard and I have been spending more time together.

It makes me smile a bit seeing they remembered of me since, even having four used cups of coffee inside the sink, there's still some coffee in the jar. A vapor comes from the drink as I pour it in my mug and bring it with me as I move to the counter. A couple of magazines rest over the marble surface, I them left there once walking in the room - one is mine and other Gerard's, since the publishing house always provides the editions when we give interviews like this.

There's a picture of Gerard and me on the cover, a very beautiful one. A few pages in the middle of the magazine are reserved to the other photos we took, along with the interview. Everyone shall be happy now, with all the so much wanted answers. At least there was someone who was nice enough to not simply throw repetitive rude questions at us.

"Hey, sugar," Gerard's voice is suddenly next to my ear while he wraps his arms around my waist - the silence coming from the other rooms lead me to believe the others left already. Exhaling, I lean back against him with a pleased hum, but it turns into a desperate one after he places a kiss on my neck, tickling me. He lets out the sweetest giggle ever and I can't help but to melt, pecking his cheek.

"Look," I say, placing my mug on the counter then taking the magazine in hand, "is it fine? I'm still thinking it looks a bit weird." Anyways, it's practically the exact same with every other picture, I guess. The more I look at it, the worse it gets.

"No, it's perfect," he says in that specific tone, signing I can't argue back because these are facts. It should be difficult to believe him - because he's the kind of person who is right even against googled info - but it's actually easy and feels like he's telling me the obvious. "You're perfect." He tells me and I blush, placing the magazine back down on the counter.

Smiling, I place a kiss on his lips and move away to finish drinking my coffee and put the mug in the sink. Gerard has his phone in hand when I turn around, probably taking a pic of the magazines to post it somewhere.

I gaze at him for a moment and decide to go to the back garden, sitting down on a bench. He's walking through the doorway not long later and, as soon as he sits down, I move to lay on the bench, in a way my head's on his lap - the concrete is warm against my back. He lets out a small hum at me, caressing my cheek with his knuckles.

Everything is so peaceful. I can't really define if everything is really that good or if it's due to me finally being able to rest after such a busy day. The day is warm, with a light breeze - sighing, I close my eyes, allowing myself to just enjoy it and Gerard's presence.

I'm able to sense him moving and, cracking an eye open, there's him holding his phone over me. "Gerard," I say in a playful warning tone, "you're not recording me to post it, are you? I'm tired of seeing random videos of me on your story whenever I get on Instagram." I breathe a chuckle, actually loving all the attention I receive, though I'm not really worthy of it.

"Art's made to be appreciated," he answers simply, cupping my face, rubbing his thumb over my cheek.

"And I guess I'll never appreciate you enough," I answer, smiling.

[meteor-writes]

I nearly ran out of time so it's a little long sorry @flashfictionfridayofficial! I really love this prompt tho!

Ace of Hearts - 1,119 words

‘I need one of you to marry Prince Rajiv.’

It had been one week since the Queen announced those words. Hester hasn’t stopped thinking about them. Standing beside her brother in the throne room, she looked at the sprigs of grass growing between granite tiles and pulled her robe closer around her shoulders as a breeze shuddered across the doors.

Prince Rajiv was a man she’d heard of many times. Running a kingdom five times the size of theirs with a wealth of agriculture and trade, overcoming enemies without a single drop of blood all while being the tender age of twenty five. Hester was sold on the idea in a heartbeat. The fact her mother had managed to organise a meeting already was almost unbelievable. Then again, a disgraced Queen was still a Queen. Even if her husband did leech all their money before packing his bags and disappearing for all eternity.

‘I’ve heard he’s a veritable ace of hearts,’ the Queen continued, ‘I need you both to study. This match is favoured towards us. Prince Rajiv needs neither money not burden. You must offer something other than riches. Smart political minds. Strategists. Trustworthy companions. Can I trust that one of you will seal this deal?’

‘Yes.’ The siblings chorused.

In reality, they’d both formed their own plans.

‘Isn’t that shirt a little low cut?’ Cray asks, gesturing to his sisters overwhelming cleavage. Hester drags her eyes over her brother’s open shirt, counting maybe three buttons fastened.

‘Couldn’t I say the same to you?’

Cray makes a face.

‘Checkmate.’

Then he looks down, undoes another button and flaps his jacket until it billows just right.

Hester rolls her eyes. It seems they have both discovered the one way to attract the man with everything: sex appeal.

Hester dons her shiniest clothes, a pearly coloured, diamond covered, satin dress with a thigh-high split in the skirt and an empire line. She’s dressed to impress, but still, does a little wiggle for luck in her corset as she takes the golden door knocker in her hand and bashes it into the lions face.

‘Bit aggressive.’ Cray notes. Hester jabs him in his now bare stomach.

A moment later, the door creaks open. A servant appears, dressed in a conservative tuxedo and Hester feels a fizz in her blood like a freshly swirled glass of champagne.

‘Greetings.’ The servant says, leaning into a bow.

‘Greetings.’ The siblings sing whacking on matching grins.

‘I’m the suitor.’ Cray says plainly. Hester immediately pinches him in the arm.

‘I’m also a suitor.’ She hisses. Cray keeps his smile fixed, following the servant into the castle. ‘Yeah but I’m the one that counts.’

Hester sticks out her foot to make him trip.

‘Prince Rajiv is waiting in his personal drawing room.’ Says the servant as they walk. Hester finds herself losing strength in her jaw as she looks around. Castle Corey is not how she thought. Outside, it had a medieval exterior. Cool grey stone and wooden arched doors with thick iron hinges and small pokey windows. Inside, it’s a portal.

Above Hester, huge glass windows dome into a roof surrounded in plant life. Stairs spiral up to the mezzanine, where presumably the rest of the rooms hide. It’s hard to tell when huge silk curtains drop down, pouring like water over the balcony and banister. Even the tiles are lavish, with every click of her heels, Hester sees the mosaic glisten, the reflection of her dress sparkling purple in the blues and pink in the reds.

‘We’re here.’ The servant announces standing aside. He opens a door, gesturing to a dark hallway. ‘The drawing room is at the end of this corridor.’

Hester nods, finding herself faltering at the last second. She adjusts her dress once more, brushing out any creases and wiping away any dust. Cray adjusts his glasses, mussing his hair. He coughs, smells his breath then sends Hester a wicked smile.

‘Ready to lose?’

Hester shoves him aside.

She enters the corridor first, squinting as her eyes adjust. Behind, the door crashes shut and Heater jumps, swinging blindly around.

‘Cray?’ She calls.

‘No.’ Cray calls back. Somehow he’s already ahead of her. She does a little run to catch up.

‘Why’s it so dark?’ Hester hisses, but her eyes don’t take too long to adjust. In fact, the room seems  to be getting lighter and she realises there are windows running all along the walls, little circles of light decorating the marble. Soon she can even make out couches lining the walls, plush purple velvet she would like to test drive.

In fact, most of the room is purple. It shines in the diamonds of her dress. Hester looks up at the walls. It’s not paint or paper. Instead, there are flags hanging between every window. Purple. White. Hester feels a prickle up her spine. She traces the patterns. A sense of impending doom pools in her stomach.

‘Cray. Look at flags.

‘Yeah?’ Cray pauses, gazing up in an arc. ‘Seem nice. I don’t think you should steal on the first date but I guess I could get you one.’

Hester slaps him on the arm.

‘Shush. Look at them.’

Cray sighs, hand on the door. ‘What about them?’

Hester tugs him back.

‘Purple, white, black.’

‘You’re getting really good with your colours Hest.’

‘No! The stripes. They’re pride flags. Ace pride. Cray, we’re totally fu-‘

At that moment the doors swing open.

‘GOOD MORNING!’

The siblings jump back as a man appears, a silhouette grinning at them in the doorway.

‘Lovely to meet you Prince and Princess of Elder Court. I hear we have much to discuss in relation to wedding bells!’

Hester’s throat goes dry.

‘Uh huh.’

‘Well don’t worry, I’m not fussy. A good connection is all I need. Someone who can bring the Kingdon of Rajiv to the next level. Oh don’t you both look lovely!’

Hester barely registers the compliment. She hasn’t read a single book. Doesn’t know a single fact. Her entire life has been spent in self-imposed confinement to a collapsing castle on the edge of a shrinking kingdom.

‘Come in, come in!’ Rajiv invites, sliding back into the room. Hester doesn’t follow. She feels a little light headed, dreams of servants and staff flickering into the abyss. Cray clears his throat.

‘Well,’ he says, rocking on his toes. ‘Guess I’ll be winning then. The only one with personality and all.’

Hester storms back to earth.  

‘Shut up!’ She cries, stabbing her heel into his foot. ‘I’m gonna wipe the floor with how platonic my charm is.’

Cray smirks. ‘May the best man win.’

And then he sweeps inside before Hester can punch him.

[jaeminlights]

Stray kids As best friends||

Chris|Bang Chan

THE CUTEST BABY

He’s always soft,

But around you? X10

Chris always wants to cuddle 🥺

Takes such good care of you omg

You don’t feel good? Chris will be your little nurse

“Is this really necessary for a little cold Chris?”

“ do you not like my scrubs? Is it the color?”

He’s so grateful for you and won’t let you forget it.

“ I don’t want to have life you’re not in”

One of those people so won’t let you leave until you say I love you

“ say it or you’re not leaving”

“ I HAVE SCHOOL PLEASE LET ME GO”

His reasoning is

“ I don’t know if this is the last one I’ll get”

The bestest friend🥺

Woojin

ULTIMATE BBF

Ok so woojin is always on your case

“Did you eat? How about your sleep? You’re not doing drugs right”

“W-woojin it’s been a day since I saw you”

Just answer his question damnit 😤

This man LOVES to stay in and watch movies

S e a s o n a l m o v I e s

It’s September? You’re watching the corpse bride. It’s November? Holy shit bring out the Christmas movies

He’s always there for you no matter the situation

It doesn’t matter what part of the world he’s in; he’s always there

Ok but like

Cuddles? From Woojin?

THE B E S T

Woojin is basically your older brother, he loves you more than anything 🥺

Minho

Y’all bully eachother cfujdhfidjd

“Minho why is your neck so long tf?!

“Well why is your mouth still running tf?!”

OH MY GODDD

IF YOU HAD A CRUSH ON A MEMBER

HE’D LOSE HIS MARBLES IFJDJDJD

“Why are you staring at Changbin like that?”

“ his little cheeks are so cute 🥺”

“ NO MAM, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE”

He’s low key rooting for you, he just refuses to admit it

You all may bicker a shit ton

But the MOMENT someone else does

Y’all beatin some asses

“He said WHAT?”

“Minho all he said was my nose is small”

Minho loves you so much

But doesn’t really say it so he shows it in little gestures

Like leaving you some aspirin if you’re hungover

The Best Boy 🥺

Changbin

Unlike Minho

He was the bullied

You guys met when changbin was in middle school

So you’ve got to see baby grow up 🥺

But you bully him about it too

“Hey binnie, remember when you pissed yourself before our school play?”

“ fuck oFF”

Omg your guys’ sleepovers are I C O N I C

The mess afterwards is a pain in the ass tho

You guys always make forts in the living room

And order your weight in chicken and pizza

Binnie is really jealous protective of you

“ you’re going out with the girls?”

“Binnie one night won’t hurt you”

“ have fun cleaning up my broken heart bitch”

You’re his stress reliever

And he’s yours

If either of you have a bad day

You guys just hold eachother and talk/cry

Purest baby 🥺

Hyunjin

Big ole baby 🥺

Overdramatic

“ did you just take my hairband?”

“Hyunjin I needed to wash my face”

“it doESN’T MATTER”

Actually is the sweetest :(

You haven’t felt good?

Jinnie will coddle you to death

You’re sad?

Jinnie will make sure you realize your worth

Cuddle monster 🥺🥺

Anytime you’re chilling at home

You HAVE to be in his lap

“Hyunjin let me sit in my own seat”

“Why would I do that?”

He l o v e s to watch you do makeup ( if you wear it)

Begged you to make him “pretty”

Then started getting antsy during the process

“Why are you putting glue on me?”

“Shut up and let me do my craft”

Jisung

You guys met as trainees

And you both just clicked

He is the most clingy baby 🥺

“Sung, I have to pee”

“Hold it, I’m not done cuddling”

You guys have movie nights twice a week

You guys were at the dorms watching a movie with the boys

And Jisung fell asleep

You were getting tired

So you went to his bed

He woke up and almost had a stroke

“Hyung, where are they???”

“Jisung clam down they’re asleep on your bed”

You felt the bed dipped and a leg wrap around you

“Why did you leave me?”

He p o u t e d

“ I don’t wanna wake you”

You guys just stayed there wrapped up the rest of the night

Felix

Childhood bestie :)

You guys didn’t see eachother for years

And it took a toll on you both

Anytime you could, you FaceTimed

“ hey Felix :) how is being my most famous friend”

“ Hey bb :) how is it being my most annoying friend”

You guys bicker constantly

“ Felix I’m telling you, sausage rolls aren’t that good”

“ you’re VEGETARIAN HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!”

When Stray kids hit their 1 year

You flew out to see him

As soon as your taxi stopped at the JYP office

You started getting teary eyed

It had been years since you saw him in person

Finally you just opened the door fast

“ Felix?”

“Oh.my.god”

You guys just cried with eachother for 5 minuets

“When did you get here?”

“ like an hour ago”

“I missed you”

“I love you”

Seungmin

Y’all were babies when you met

When he started training, he stopped playing with you

“Minnie lets go outside”

“ I can’t, I have to train”

You guys fell off after that

Eventually you guys stopped talking

That’s when you realized how much you loved Seungmin

After training for months

He got a small break from practicing

You guys lived by eachother so you went to see him

“Hey,”

“Uhm,hey?”

You just started letting it all out

“Imsosirryforbeingalittlebitchtoyouandwantedyoutostaywithmeiloveyousomuchpleaseforgiveme”

“Baby calm down, I understand”

You guys made up fast lmao

Seungmin invited you to stay with him in Seoul for a week

And you guy realized how much you loved eachother

Minnie wanted to have you close at all times 🥺

You guys were back to being besties

Jeongin

Your parents were best friends

So it just came naturally for you guys to be close

When he got hurt you’d always kiss it better

And as he got older

It stopped

But right before he left to train

He said he was hurting and asked you to fix it

“Where are you hurting bean?”

“Here”

He pointed to his heart 🥺

You guys stayed with eachother for days on ends

You missed him so much

When you were in Seoul

He made an effort so spend the whole day with you

“Bean don’t you have practice?”

“ you’re more important”

L O V E S to pick on you

“What’s on your face?”

“Oh my god what is it?”

He proceeds to flick your forehead

CRIED WHEN YOU LEFT SEOUL

“Don’t leave me :(“

“Bean, I’ll be back I promise”

He makes you pinky promise 🥺

You guys are inseparable to date

Hey guys!!! This was so much fun! If you have any request I’m taking them!!

[kkulmoon]

Genshin Impact is actually a relatively new game, but it's super addicting so I guess it's my favorite currently 😂 i play a lot of games just to stress relieve, it help me to turn off my brain and give me a sense of accomplishment LOL and also to like... not feel lonelt during the pandemic cuz i been locked in for like a year now LMAO

And yeh the US situation is.... haaaaa.... i hate it here, save me TT^TT

Anyway!! YES JOON IS HUGE HE'S GETTING MORE AND MORE BUFF AND I'M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT AND JK WHEN THAT HAIR GO UP INTO A MAN BUN, YOU ARE GONNA GET A FUNERAL INVITATION FROM ME CUZ I'LL BE 💀 the amount of time they make me choke on my own spit and water.... it's dangerous ;-;

And hush you cant lose a skill that quickly lmao, i havent ride a bike for like 5 years that doesnt mean I can no longer do it. And you can always open up request for a short while to get some ideas from people 👀

And oooo "sweet home" i heard a lot of good thing about it but i havent watch/read it yet, cuz i dont handle gore very well. And since sweet home is a webtoon, if netflix decide to not give it a second season, even tho they should, you can alway read the webtoon ;)

As for rant, not really, i just been very lazy now that second semester start and i just dont wanna do ANYTHING lol especially since it's my last year

My new year resolution... I wanna be happier *cue blue and grey* a lil too personal but uhhh TW i have severe depression and anxiety and all those good shit mental illness lol and I'm actually really bad at being nice to myself, so... i want to become better, i wanna unlearn negative things, i want to become happier, just a little every day, i'm much happier now than I was before so :D dont worry, love.

What about you? What's your new year resolution? 👀

Questions of the day!! If you could ask someone (dead or alive) a question that they HAVE to answer truthfully, who and what would you ask? -Valley's Lilies @valley-lilies

rippp that’s the reason why I am purposefully staying away from games cause I get stuck on things so easily and i KNOW there are tons of games out there that would catch my interest 😭😭😭 i’ll stay gameless for a few more years until i’m more disciplined lol, but honestly if that’s how you wind down and relax, go for it!!! i feel you so much on the lonely part, like now the bad kind of loneliness is creeping up on me 😳i’ve been locked up for a year too!!! i cannot believe it, it actually blows my mind, i’ve stayed indoors pretty much a whole year, it’s actually sick 😓

honey 🥺 i’m so sorry about it ;(((, like I really never know how to talk about it anymore cause saying the same things feels redundant, but hopefully things get better soon... let me tell you!!!! before the new year came I was only prepared to deal with joon’s big boy summer (or whole year for that matter) and then jungkook comes out NOWHERE, like i was doing good, what do you want from me!!!!!!??? i lost my marbles over that turtleneck manbun live, i can’t actually imagine seeing that now with his blonde hair I’ll just 💃💃→🪦,,,,, but back to the topic of buff joon WE ARE GETTING A LIVE TOMORROW AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i’m so excited for that, i’ve missed him a lot 🤧 also hun i’ve learned it the hard way but i refrain from drinking anything while watching bts perform or like their content, something ALWAYS happens 😭

uhmmm yeah i agree, but i’ve only been making gifs for 6 months 🥴i literally remade the gifs for my recent joon comps a whole of 3 times before i was kinda of satisfied 🤡ooohh i never know about requests cause i don’t think anyone would want to ask me to do something 👀 so i’ll just gif whatever i find 🤪

sweet home was without a doubt of the best series I watched in 2020, and yeah I’ll read the webtoon if they don’t make a second season, but i want the 2nd season SOOOOO BADDDDD , i’m really attached to the characters and i think the actors did a great job too 🥺, on the topic of series? what were you favourite series of 2020?

let’s raise a glass to that “To doing nothing!” 🥂i really feel you, but i’m just pushing myself and basically using my classmates’ motivation to keep me going, and soon i should feel better 😩you should also try to hold on!! no need to do great in school or anything but you’re close to end friend, you’ve got it!

that’s such a great resolution! and you’ve already done a lot of the work by recognizing the patterns, i’m sending you all the support 💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞 and you’re right, be kinder to yourself and happier a little bit every single day and you’ll do great and if you don’t manage on some days that’s okay too love, there’s also kindness and love in letting yourself “fail” sometimes 🥰

oooo for this year I want to finish my first year of uni having passed all of my courses, i wan to get my driver’s license before the summer, move out, learn how to do a backflip lmao, and finish the two songs i have left to complete my ep 😌hmmmm yeah i think that’s all tbh 

ahhh god that’s such a hard question T^T , hmmm i would ask a question to my mother, the question would be “Do you regret living your live for you kids?” , i won’t get into the details but she sacrificed A LOT for me and my brother and I would be curious to know how she really feels about it....  what about you? who would it be and what question?

hmmm question of the day, since you like to game, if you got to the chance to have a game made just for you, what would it be and what would you include in it?

[jaeausten]

My thoughts on Sanditon 1x06 (Beware, here be spoilers...)

Okay, up until now I have been watching Sanditon with mixed feelings, most of it positive, but Sundays episode left me screaming WTF at my tv.

In this house, Andrew Davies is a legend. His television adaptations of the classics has always let me soak into the world of Austen, Dickens etc and has been a welcome escape from the various shitty things in my life. He has been adapting books for tv series for decades and I thought that Sanditon was going to be full of the things I love about Jane Austen’s works and subsequent adaptations (wit, satire, self possessed, independent thinking heroines and intelligent, impeccably behaved heroes) with anything else left strictly to the imagination. Austen’s works have always had elegance and propriety to them (even when dealing with sex and ruin) that simply does not appear in this adaptation. There is such a sense of pandering to modern tastes in this episode of Sanditon that I cannot get past...or forgive. This is not an Austen adaptation and I am a little upset that Andrew Davies has interpreted Austen like this. People like Austen for all the subtlety and repressed sexual tension and although Jane did not write more than 11 chapters of Sanditon, surely Andrew has had enough experience dealing with this genre and original material to have written the rest of the story the way Jane might actually have intended.

Anyway, to the episode. I was literally jumping in my seat at the end of episode 1x05 when Charlotte set off on her plucky adventure to Set Things Right and help bring Georgiana home. But when this episode started, it soon became clear that Charlotte had arrived in London with only the flimsiest scrap of a plan and little to no money! (Note- In the rest of the series, Charlotte can be impulsive, but not stupid). Next, Charlotte is made to demonstrate another act of uncharacteristic stupidity by aimlessly wandering around the back streets and alleyways near the docks acting the fresh country girl ripe for the plucking. And of course, someone grabs her. She is rescued by Sidney, but this trope of stupid, naive country girl puts herself in a dangerous situation and has to be rescued by the hero pisses me off.

Oh, and Fyi costume designer, Charlotte should be wearing her hair up, UP, UUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP!!! 

When Sidney tells Charlotte off in the carriage, I kind of thought that he had a point; reminding her that there can be other motives for marriage than love, but her looking shocked that this could be so surprises me as she has not previously written to be so naive. But, if you see it from her point of view, Otis rocked up looking dandy af a couple of episodes ago (I’m assuming that Charlotte thought that Otis might not need Georgiana’s money with that snazzy outfit on) and spouting romantic feelings and the telling of a genuinely funny first meeting with Georgiana made her think that it was for love and that it must be prejudice as his fortune has been made from slavery! Charlotte accuses Sidney of being less than forthcoming about his objections to Otis and he is pissed that his vague af explanation did not satisfy our independent thinking heroine. But as I see it, if you can be a first class asshole and scream into the heroine’s face while losing your temper in the street, you sure as hell can be explicit about why you ask someone to keep an extra eye on your ward. Just saying....

Also, Sidney’s behaviour throughout this series to Charlotte has been so far from an Austen hero and has made me dislike him so intensely that I have rooted for young Stringer as Charlotte’s eventual husband (though we all know that’s not going to happen, don’t we). An Austen hero never lets his anger show too strongly nor bellows at the heroine in the street. But apart from the story, good manners in that era and at that social level would prohibit any true gentleman from doing so. 

Andrew, if you are not going to follow Austen’s style, then place it in the proper confines of the period. Good fucking manners always prevail!!!!!!!!!

Taking Charlotte to a Brothel?!?!?!?!?!? Gently bred females do not get taken by an Austen hero to a brothel, Jesus Christ! Would this happen in reality? Not really! This scene seems to have been lifted out of the pages of a bodice ripper (not that I have any objection to bodice rippers- I frequently read and love them myself- but in an Austen? No, just no).

Charlotte preventing Sidney from beating the shit out of Otis for ruining Georgiana’s rep with a gentle plea while he reigns in his rage for her by focusing on her face, oh my heart... Still not Austen tho...

There’s finally a flash of the old sensible Charlotte when she figures out that Georgiana might still be held in London, whoops, I sneezed, back to the naive country girl trope that doesn’t fit. 

Ewwwww, the fat, misogynistic fucker making a joke about breaking in horses being similar to handling wives while drooling over a forcibly restrained woman just had to be in there didn’t it?  

It just bugs me why Clara, Edward and Esther don’t seem to take Lady Denham seriously when she has said repeatedly thought the entire series so far that none of them will benefit monetarily from her death, yet when the will is eventually found, Clara and Edward are outraged when nothing is left to them?

I can’t decide if Charlotte is still the annoying country girl from the beginning of the episode or the plucky heroine determined to find out the truth when she refuses to stay in the carriage when Sidney goes into the brothel where he is clearly a regular member...

‘You haven’t made an honest man of our Mr Parker, have you?’ 

‘GrAcIOuS NOOOO!’

Sidney’s face. One second of pained outrage. Classic!

Ooooohhhhhhh, a dramatic carriage chase. Area man in a cravat leaping to another carriage to bring the horses to a halt and rescue a girl. Melodrama meets western...

Oh look, Clara has found the hidden will and taken the time to put on a new dress and villain smirk of crazed triumph. Fuck off luv!

Oh. My. God.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jumping each other and having grunting, rough af sex on the cold marble floor to seal their devils deal? Um, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

This is the most unAusten disgrace of the entire episode. This is what almost made me turn off the tv, but I wanted to see what else happened in the episode, so I put it on mute and glanced through my fingers occasionally. Wtf, Andrew Davies! You are so much better than this! Your experience and Austen lovers could have done without a gratuitous sex scene. Not only was it uncharacteristic in a work claiming to be based on an Austen, but it was jarring with the melodrama of the rest of the episode and quite clumsy in it’s execution. It took me completely off guard and tbh, it was fucking gross.

Here that? It’s poor Jane Austen, spinning in her grave...

Georgiana is restored to the bosom of her cold hearted guardian. Or is he? Finally, a Austenian trope! Thank fuck! Misunderstood asshole who can be capable of compassion and clearing an unworthy gentleman’s debts with his wealth to make the heroine realise he is not a complete dickhead? Can you guess which Austen hero I‘m referring to?

A manly heart to heart is in order. This is a scene that would never be in an Austen as Jane never wrote a scene that she herself could not have experienced, but I’ll let that go if it means Sidney won’t stay a twat...

Oh dear Lord, Charlotte doubts herself because she feels she has disappointed Sidney. Heroine doubts her previous harsh judgement of the hero is so Austen, I both cheered and groaned. Yay Austen! Nay Charlotte having a bad opinion of her own instincts which have been written to appear to come out of her perceived sheltered lifestyle and naivety. On the one hand, she is written as knowing nothing much about real life and needs firm handling to avoid becoming a complete idiot, and yet she is also written to understand architecture and shows clear headedness when old Stringer breaks his leg. I’m having trouble with this pendulum swinging here!

Dear God, why is Charlotte’s hair all scruffy like that? Why is it still not UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was rooting for Otis and Georgiana, but Otis proved himself kind of a douchebag. Georgiana realises that Otis is spouting bullshit when he says he only boasted of her beautiful soul to the gambling fucker, when in reality he had been dangling her and her fortune to appease a creditor. He seems sincere when he apologises though and it’s clear he does love her. But he wants to have his cake and eat it, so Georgiana out...

Oooh, that total sweetheart Babbington just showed up! I have to keep reminding myself that he isn’t Grenn from Got looking fit af in his regency gear. Rawr...

Why in the actual fuck is Charlotte refusing invitation to a London masquerade ball? Who does that? Sidney obviously expects her to be cheered right up by this and damn it, I do to! Georgiana is back safe and sound (almost) and Sanditon is about to be saved by the Regatta! She doesn’t feel sociable!? Her being sad by Sidney’s apparent bad opinion of her? Fuck that shit! Have some fucking self respect and get out there! A girl’s first visit to London on a mission (albeit in less than fun circumstances), friend is saved and you are invited to a big ass masquerade ball and you say no because of a man’s opinion?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Sidney spouts crap about underestimating her while looking sheepishly adorable and Charlotte agrees to go to the ball. Knew she wanted to really... But I don’t get Sidney’s sudden change of heart about Charlotte and as for underestimating her, what for? She bollocksed up everything, except for guessing that Georgiana was still held in London so they didn’t need to go off on a wild goose chase to Gretna Green. The episode up until that second has been Sidney treating her like she is a child who has made things unnecessarily difficult and not worthy of respect or a kind word. I don’t buy this. Sorry.

The ball!!!!!!!!

Poor Tom! No one gives a shit about the Regatta at the ball and one man even throws Tom’s card on the floor! Rude. Oh well, at least he looks da bomb in his burgundy silk ensemble.

Charlotte’s disappointed in the ball and wants to leave?!?!?!? Disappointed!?!?!? In a London ball! She’s only been there for five minutes and hasn’t done the obligatory sexually charged dance in a fabulous dress with the brooding hero yet! I know she is upset that they have left Georgiana at home and that’s fine, it shows that she has sensibilities and compassion for a friend, but come on! 

Why is she asking Sidney’s opinion to leave? Why is she putting herself down? Yes, Sidney’s behaviour has definitely led her to believe that she is too headstrong and opinionated, but I don’t think she’s too much. The way she has been written up until this episode has been what has made her interesting. Austen heroine’s do go through this in the last third of the story though.

Oh, now he thinks those things are cute. No wonder Charlotte is confused. I am.

Why in holy fuck is Charlotte telling absolutely everything to a total stranger?!?! I get that it is a human thing to want to pour out your heart and problems to someone who can take a step back and see things from a different perspective, but Austen heroine’s keep their fucking counsel! Also, in the time period at that level of society, spilling your secrets to a stranger opens everyone involved up to potential scandal. Good fucking God. This is not even reality at this point!

Charlotte in love with Sidney? Surely not Queen Susan. It’s glaring that Charlotte does love Sidney at this point. Treat them mean, make them fall in love with you, I guess.

Ooooh, the smoulder! Fuck, it’s even working on me!

Jesus Christ, this dance has everything. Not taking their soft eyes off of each others, gradually getting more intense as the dance goes on. Tender brushings of hands. The waltz with his head bent to hers with while being a bit too close for proprieties sake. The way they move in perfect harmony in a way that has not been in evidence in their interactions before. Lingering touches when they have to part in the dance. Taut sexual tension dripping from every step. Both suddenly grinning their arses off when the dance gets faster. The slow-mo shot showing them falling deeper into love. Ending the dance in extreme reluctance as it means they cannot be close in front of everyone anymore while looking stunned by their feelings. Divine! 

Uh oh. Enter old flame. Why did you have to spoil it Andrew?

I know that’s Theo’s actual real life wife, but there was no chemistry that I could see. I could go and get my binoculars. Eliza Campion, I know you won’t prevail, but please step it up for the next episode cos you haven’t convinced me yet.

Charlotte is happy and glowing with her new found awakening. I hope it will last. Of course not...

If you have managed to read to the end of this, well done! I certainly wouldn’t have! As you can see, most of this post has dealt with my feelings of incredulity at the way this episode has turned out. Don’t get me wrong, I really do like Sanditon, but Sunday’s episode has left me shaking my head in confusion. Andrew Davies work has always been top notch, but I wonder if the absence of full original source material has left him unable to write the fully realised characters of the Austen novels that we have come to expect. But injecting melodrama and bizarre about turns in terms of characters and their characterisation while introducing unnecessary scenes (you know the one I mean) has left this episode severely disjointed for me.

[askfatmaudpie]

Greeting everyone…

It’s been a long time since you’ve heard of me but despite my shyness, I was always here. For those who don’t know, I’m Boulder

For those who know me well, I guess I have an explanation on where was I all along, maybe tell a bit about my life. To sum it up I have a pretty calm life. You rarely see me but I’m often hiding in maud’s clothes, sometimes on her turtleneck, sometimes in the belt, even some times on her belly button when it comes to sleep. We do play sometimes at hiding and seek (in which she’s becoming an expert at disguising herself as a big boulder) and being with her when she’s lonely, eating or even posing for the ask is a great time. She’s like a mama rock even to me.

I can’t believe that as I’m writing this, the blog is reaching 4 years old.4 YEARS OLD! It may be nothing for me with my 2000+ years behind me but for a Tumblr blog, it’s astounding! With all the issues I’ve heard about their site (sorry I forgot the name) and I’m so excited to see how long will it goes, I’ve heard the show will soon be ending and I’m kind of sad, I wonder if I’ll meet my old friends like Tom which I haven’t seen in centuries.

Anyway let me told you all on how crazy was the birthday party, but not in the way everyone including me would have expected…

———————————————————————————————————–

Let’s go back a few days ago at the farm. All of us were about to celebrate the anniversary in the house and Pinkie was preparing cakes, Marble was bringing a drink from her friend from that apple farm and Limestone was supervising the rest while Maud and I were… Well basically preparing ourselves. Nothing much happened, there was just at one point pinkie calling Maud for a missing product before realizing it was an error from her side, nothing special. (Keep this last sentence in mind because it turned out to be more complicated)

Then came to the party in the evening, it was amazing! Amazing knowing pinkie was involved… even tho we were only 6 (the sisters, gummy & me) it was what would you have expected for a good party to celebrate the anniversary. The music was amazing, the cake looked delicious (even tho I couldn’t eat it, I’m not allowed for my health) and the decoration was in the mood. Maybe the use of Christmas decoration was a little bit too much but that isn’t the point of the story.

To sum it up the party started on a good note: I was there, Gummy was playing with me, Limestone, Marble & Pinkie were waiting for Maud to come with a new dress she had for the occasion. But then Maud wasn’t coming as she had trouble with the dress being tighter than planned. Toward the ends, the three sisters were tired of waiting and were starting to feel hungry so they started to eat the cake pinkie baked earlier.

Remember the “missing product” earlier? Well, it was really missing, but it got taken as not missing by another product.

For some reason, Pinkie is rarely throwing out nor tidy up her stuff, but this went on another level when you realize that she never threw away the FLIM & FLAM’s energy drink that put Maud out of anorexia back when the blog didn’t exist and put the remaining in the meal she prepared for the night.

So what should have to happen happened… The 3 sisters ate the cake, Pinkie, who started eating them first at a fast pace, started to have a rumbly stomach followed by Limestone and Marble and all three started having chunks of fat all over the 3: they were pretty much as large as Maud making them looking alike shape-wise.

Maud, obviously, rushed backstair (despite not being done with her attempt to dress) from the sounds of broken chairs her siblings were doing and seeing them as large as she almost gave to Maud a dizzy feeling.

They were pretty much the flab 4 for the 4th anniversary of the blog.

Pinkie rushed to the rescue of Maud. Not knowing well her new body, she went by jumping to her. We already know how it could have ended. Maud, once she came back to her, had to teach Pinkie how to walk/waddle like she should and so is the party trying to go back to normal. Wasn’t that easy…

Since no one was allowed to eat the cakes since it was poisoned to the dismay of pinkie, they decided to pretty much order food while looking at their shape and making fun of it for some, wondering how to get get rid of it for others. At one point they even try to sit on each other’s gut in a circle (Pinkie on Maud, Maud on Limestone, Limestone on Marble, Marble on Pinkie) It was funny seeing them trying to break the chain when the ordered food came.

The party pretty much ended with everyone losing themselves to their appetite until they were too much food drunk to stay awake. Not the party everyone expected but not a bad party at the end.

Morning came, Maud and I were the first one to wake up since Maud, really used to her appetite, knew when it was time to get up before her stomach roar and force her to do so (which wasn’t the case to anyone else). As she was preparing a good breakfast for everyone. Then she realized something weird and had to call pinkie for it…

After some recall about her jumping habit and some explanation about what happened to the cake pinkie made a revelation about what has had happened to the cake.

Before eating the cake and because he couldn’t come in time because he was too far away, Pinkie sent a piece by mail to Mudbriar without telling everyone else!

Maud went pale and has a rush to come to see him and dressed as fast as possible without taking breakfast and we may never know what happened when they met.

I’m kidding, I was there…

Yes, you think I would let Maud go to Mudbriar and not having the curiosity nor the idea of sneaking inside her dress to see the spectacle and to be honest: it was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

I’ve known Maud for ages but NEVER, I have EVER! seen her push a little screech like the one she has done. It was almost sounding like something I would have expected from a reptile.

I may have to say, seeing Mudbriar in the same shape as Maud was a spectacle in itself, the then slim and a stick like looking stallion was pretty much looking like he was made from a big trunk of an oak. He had to gallop to the fainting mare and tell him he was ok an didn’t mind the change so her lady was calmed.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t as she was also feeling weak from running this far while her stomach was empty so they had to go to a restaurant so they both can revitalize their big body with some good meal for a moment. 

The meal should have taken a good half an hour but it ended up taking the entire day. Not both of them eating all day but the day pretty much turned up into a “hanging out day” where they had fun and even had to have time for themselves. Twiggy even tell me how it ended up happening when Mudbriar ate the well-conserved mailed piece of cake. Pretty much he was trying to recompose himself when Maud came in. I’m not sure what were they doing when they went alone but this may not be important. 

Since then Pinkie, Marble, Limestone & Mudbriar are starting to lose weight at a different rate: Pinkie despite she wishes she could be a super-fat-super-sister with Maud lose faster due to her metabolism, Lime does work-out and it seems to work, Marble didn’t mind but managed to lose at a slower rate compared to her 2 sisters, And Mudbriar, because he didn’t catch a big appetite, seems to have lost a good chunk of his fat to the dismay of his girlfriend, Maud.

As of Maud, why isn’t she has lost weight since that time she drank the potion is raising eyebrows even to me. But I presume it may be because unlike everyone else who consumed a little bit diluted in a cake, Maud drank pretty much 3 quarters of the bottle raw.

To this day nothing changed much as everyone is minding their business, trying to lose weight back to their normal selves. But lately, Maud went a little bit suspicious. She was trying to see where the Flim & Flam brothers are as of right now.

Wonder what does she want to do with those wicked scammers.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As a memory of the incident, I put with this letter a picture we took during the party (we decided to take the picture behind a green screen so it looks better) and this is pretty much how everyone was looking.

Maud decided to get her original clothes since the dress she tried to make was to tight at the end, we didn’t know about Mudbriar at the time and yours truly with the help of gummy was taking the picture.

On this, I end my letter by wishing you all a good day and I’ll say “see you in 4 years!” …or perhaps not! before that seems better. “see you in….. next year?”

cordially: Boulder.

[ua-miruko]

[8/6]

ua-miruko 2:30 PM

@ua-todoroki @ua-kaibara @ua-mar SUP LITTLE BITCHES you're mine now 🔥 🤪 🔥

ua-todoroki 2:30 PM

Oh.

ua-miruko 2:30 PM

YEP! OH!!

You're rollin' with TEAM MIRUKO NOW

Now we got a few objectives I wanna explain, but the most important one? KICK EVERYONE'S ASS

And when I say everyone, I MEAN

EVERYONE

... But especially Hawks' team

ALSO Endeavor's. I wanna run him into the groooound

ua-todoroki 2:33 PM

I can do that...

ua-miruko 2:36 PM

yeah, you better 😈

ua-todoroki 2:37 PM

:/...

ua-miruko 2:39 PM

oh, c'mon... you don't got more to say than that???

ua-todoroki 2:40 PM

Idk what to say.

It's good to be working with you.

ua-miruko 2:40 PM

good to be workin with you too! you were on of my requests so i'm glad the good ol gov was lookin out for once!! 😤😤

yer rly strong so i'mma be expecting a lot from you 👀

ua-todoroki 2:41 PM

Was I? Huh.

I'll do my best.

ua-miruko 2:43 PM

yeahyeah... didn't want anyone who'd hold me back and you almost won your festival way back when, yeah?

ua-todoroki 2:44 PM

Yeah.

ua-miruko 2:46 PM

yeah...

ua-kaibara 2:46 PM

Right..

ua-miruko 2:46 PM

aha! another one 👀 sup kid

you i don't know shit about lol

ua-kaibara 2:48 PM

Not surprising

ua-miruko 2:50 PM

tell me bout yerself?

what's ya quirk like

ua-kaibara 2:51 PM

I'm Kaibara Sen, one of UA's students but that's.. mostly obvious I think most of this program is UA students. My Quirk is Gyrate. I can basically just.. rotate my body parts like a drill. It's mostly useful for hand-to-hand but I wear metal gloves so I can use my hands as legitimate drills also..

ua-miruko 2:53 PM

🤔 interesting.....so yer a close combat kinda guy, yeah?

ua-kaibara 2:53 PM

Primarily, yeah

ua-miruko 2:53 PM

....you ever get flung through the air?

ua-kaibara 2:53 PM

Yes

ua-miruko 2:53 PM

EXCELLENT

ua-kaibara 2:53 PM

I am kind of scared to ask why

ua-miruko 2:54 PM

cuz im gonna fuckin fling you like a dart, that's why!!

ua-todoroki 2:54 PM

She'll probably do that to you.

Yeah.

ua-miruko 2:54 PM

listen, whatever ya gotta do to add more POWER to yer attacks, i expect ya to do

so, thermo?? you gon be doing a lot of flinging too

ua-todoroki 2:55 PM

I can help transport people with my ice, but it takes a bit of getting used to.

ua-miruko 2:55 PM

expect yall to practice that on your own, then!

ua-todoroki 2:55 PM

Yeah.

ua-miruko 2:56 PM

i do a lot of fighting and we'll be doin a lot of training together but i ain't gonna hold your hands the whole way

ua-kaibara 2:56 PM

I thought we were learning about heroics, not flying

ua-todoroki 2:56 PM

We'll need to be careful about how our quirks interact.

ua-kaibara 2:56 PM

...that's a joke

It didn't come off as one I don't think

ua-miruko 2:56 PM

....work on your humor, kid

ua-kaibara 2:56 PM

It'll be dry as ever by the end of this

ua-miruko 2:57 PM

you got a pretty huge shot, thermo, so our job will be makin sure to dodge yer shit....

nice nice

ua-todoroki 2:57 PM

Yeah.

You could also mess with my ice if you stomped the ground, I think. Shatter it.

ua-miruko 2:58 PM

oh fuck yeah.... 👀

ua-todoroki 2:58 PM

So we'll have to be careful about that.

ua-miruko 2:58 PM

nah i WANT that

that's a fuckin great combo

ua-todoroki 2:58 PM

Oh. Really?

ua-miruko 2:58 PM

stomp on your ice, send a whole STORM of ice shards out to kill EVERYONE

ua-todoroki 2:58 PM

I guess ice is sharp.

Huh.

ua-miruko 2:58 PM

we can call it SHATTER STORM

or somethin

HELL YEAH COMBOS

ua-todoroki 2:59 PM

I've never used it like that...

ua-miruko 2:59 PM

yeah!! you got a pretty basic way of using your quirk, i wanna force ya to do it in new fun ways

ua-todoroki 3:00 PM

Still. If I'm trying to capture a villain and you shatter all of it, we could lose them...

It'll be interesting.

ua-miruko 3:00 PM

yeahyeahyeah, we'll see what happens

ANYWAY

yall, we got a few days before we officially start but if ya got time, i wanna test you out a bit

spar with me 👀

ua-todoroki 3:01 PM

Sure.

When?

ua-miruko 3:01 PM

and everyone else too! expecting to fight you all before the week is done

whenever you're free! my schedules clear the next few days

ua-todoroki 3:01 PM

So is mine.

ua-miruko 3:02 PM

👀 awesome

ua-mar 3:09 PM

Wow! A high ranking hero! To think I finally see you in the flesh! I’m Alta Valentine of 2-B and it’s a pleasure and absolute honor to be here! 😸

Ahaaa, this is the first time a hero has called me such a name.......... BUT I PROMISE I WONT LET YOU DOWN 😤😤💪

ua-miruko 3:12 PM

damn, that's a name....yer a second year! interesting!

tell me yer quirk? ua-mar 3:15 PM

My quirk is called Marble! I can amplify the strength, endurance, and speed on anyone I leave contact on for 5 minutes! I can’t amplify their quirks however. But it’s great for long distances if we’re separated!

ua-miruko 3:16 PM

... No shit???

Holy fuck

ua-mar 3:16 PM

......but once I use it.....I get slower 😅

ua-miruko 3:16 PM

🤔 i see

imma need one of those baby backpacks for you then...

what's it like with multiple peeps?

ua-mar 3:16 PM

......baby backpacks😳?

ua-miruko 3:17 PM

yeah! i can just carry ya quick if ya get too slow!

ua-mar 3:18 PM

Oh.....if you say so 😅 

My limit is about 4 people

ua-miruko 3:19 PM

niceeeeee.....

ua-mar 3:20 PM

I hope I can be a great assistance to you all! 💪

ua-miruko 3:22 PM

im thinkin ya will!!!

hold up yall, suddenly we got a newcomer....

@s-inasa GET IN HERE

s-inasa 3:23 PM

IM SORRY MA'AM

IM TERRIBLY SORRY FOR MY TARDINESS

WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN

ua-miruko 3:23 PM

BETTER NOT OR I'LL KICK YA ASS

s-inasa 3:24 PM

YES MA'AM!

ua-miruko 3:25 PM

AWESOME

ua-todoroki 3:25 PM

Oh...

ua-miruko 3:29 PM

not rly familiar with you either so!! tell me bout yourself when yer ready!

we were talkin some preliminary quirk combo techniques and also discussing how we're gonna do some sparring before the week is through!

s-inasa 3:34 PM

IM YOARASHI INASA, MA'AM, FROM SHIKETSU HIGH!

MY QUIRK IS BEING ABLE TO CONTROL THE WIND! 

ID LOVE TO SPar..

Todoroki...!

ua-miruko 3:35 PM

THE WIND, HUH 👀

... yall know each other?

s-inasa 3:38 PM

We...do.

ua-todoroki 3:38 PM

Yeah.

Hi.

ua-miruko 3:38 PM

....uh? why yall so awkward all of a sudden lol

ua-todoroki 3:38 PM

:/...

ua-miruko 3:38 PM

yall got bad blood or something?

ua-todoroki 3:39 PM

It's kind of complicated.

s-inasa 3:39 PM

...very complicated.

ua-todoroki 3:39 PM

It's ok.

Hopefully this will help.

ua-miruko 3:39 PM

...right

listen, yall can talk it out if you want or leave it at the door but i'm telling yall now, i dont care for anything getting in the way of this lol

s-inasa 3:40 PM

It..wont interfere, ma'am!

ua-miruko 3:40 PM

better not 😌

cuz if it does yall are cleaning toilets instead

s-inasa 3:41 PM

NOTHING WILL GET IN THE WAY MA'AM!!

ua-miruko 3:43 PM

good to hear!!

OH SHIT so if you're a windy boy, that means... you can do a lot of flinging, huh 👀

s-inasa 3:44 PM

I can make anyone fly ma'am! And make tornadoes!

I control currents too!

ua-miruko 3:44 PM

PERFECT

aiight so torpedo, yer gonna be makin powerdrill fly a LOT

you'll be helping me get some air too, i bet 😤 NICE

s-inasa 3:46 PM

Anything you say ma'am!

ua-miruko 3:47 PM

nice........with enough air we can use that shit to break through  into any building, heh...

oh FUCK YEAH we gon do some DAMAGE

ua-todoroki 3:49 PM

We can also combine our quirks well.

ua-miruko 3:50 PM

yeah!!!

want as many combos as we can get in here!

make sure each of ya practice with the power up princess too, s'gonna feel weird

suddenly doin your thang with a big ol boost all of a sudden

ua-mar 3:51 PM

Wow! Everyone is so impressive! 😯

ILL TRY MY HARDEST MIRUKO 😤👍

ua-miruko 3:52 PM

💪 😤

ua-mar 4:07 PM

Oh! Miruko Sensei! Forgive me for asking this late, but what kind of training will you put us through?

ua-miruko 4:08 PM

eh...we'll see as we go along but it'll be the general shit... weight training, quirk training... might be a surprise but i do a lot of covert shit

so yall will get a nice lil crash course on that as well

get familiar with all the protocol of doin more public patrols versus shit like stake-outs

....LOTS of beating people up tho

arrests and shit!! it'll be exciting!

if you can keep up, heh

ua-mar 4:13 PM

Oh! I see! I was asking to see the difference in Japanese internships and American internships!! So we’ll cover the whole lot? That is exciting!

ua-miruko 4:13 PM

pretty much lol

ua-mar 4:13 PM

And I may be slow ,  but it’s too soon to be underestimating 😏

ua-miruko 4:14 PM

😤 good!

ua-miruko 9:16 PM

... OI nearly forgot

when yall stop by, go get yourselves situated with the staff, they'll get you all set up at the agency

give you ID cards and all the shits

those cards will give ya access to my agency whenever ya want!! you'll love it, i got a gym set up and EVERYTHING

so feel free to hang out whenever ya want 👀

ua-todoroki 9:22 PM

Oh... That's cool.

ua-miruko 9:22 PM

yeah!! got a fun lounge too, super fuckin tricked out

s-inasa 9:23 PM

A gym?? Great!

ua-mar 9:24 PM

Tricked out , huh? 😯🤔

ua-miruko 9:24 PM

i expect yall in there a bunch 👀

MHM.....got a TV and a bar and the works!!

.....yall cant go into the bar 😡😡😡

ua-mar 9:28 PM

Ack! Miruko Sensei! You can trust us that we won’t trespass into certain areas and focus on our main objective! 😅

ua-miruko 9:29 PM

yeah you better 😡 😤 listen i like a good party too, but we save partying for AFTER we beat the bad guy

s-inasa 9:29 PM

DOES THE BAR HAVE PROTEIN SHAKES

ua-miruko 9:31 PM

BITCH WHO DO YOU THINK I AM

OF COURSE

ua-mar 9:35 PM

So we can go near the bar, but only for protein drinks?

ua-miruko 9:35 PM

... YEAH!!!

s-inasa 9:35 PM

YEAH!

ua-mar 9:44 PM

Understood then! Protein drink are the only exception! If you don’t mind me asking, is there anything you recommend we work on specifically? Any skills that can be learned from you 🤔 ?

ua-miruko 9:46 PM

good question!! you're real perceptive, i like that 👀 

my style is more close-to-middle range... mostly like to brawl but my PUNCH is PACKIN and my KICK can send fuckers 'cross the country!!!!

so if there's ANYTHING SPECIFIC yall are learnin from me, it's how to kick the shit outta someone LOL

imma make the two of yall who are more used to long range attacks focus more on your bodies while the rest of you work on your OWN power... finding ways to make yourself larger, faster, STRONGER!

🤔  what's also important to me tho... is the environment and the advantages or disadvantages you'll be facing

withstanding the heat, the cold.... dealin with heights and the underground... it's all shit i deal with regularly

yall are probably gonna end up everywhere but underwater lol

ua-mar 9:55 PM

Hmmm. Intriguing. You are certainly strong and intense when it comes to an all out brawl. And I’m guessing you’re just as swift and agile making you quite the one not to provoke at all. With you’re ranking, your skills and experience must be incredibly well rounded and fluid 🤔 

I trust that you will indeed make us more stronger ☺️!

I only ask that you absolutely don’t hold back and don’t underestimate us! 💪

ua-miruko 10:06 PM

hold back? nahhhhhh...

the goal here is to have yall beggin for mercy... 😈

ua-mar 10:12 PM

Oh goodie!~ Well we hope to learn and apply the same 😇! Only from the best! Once again, it’s an honor that to intern with you Miruko Sensei ☺️!

ua-miruko 10:14 PM

you too, kid!

ua-todoroki 10:18 PM

Good luck with that.

[mysticmikalla]

Could you do 19 with Jumin?

I ONLY REALIZED THE PROMPT SAYS COUNTER INSTEADOF DESK AFTER I FINISHED IT BUT ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, OH WELL

*

“Ifyou don’t stop looking at my lips without doing anything about it, I will takeyou right here on this counter.

NSFW (??)

***

Your visits to his office weren’t rare. In fact, you werethere with him more often than not, either for a quick lunch when he didn’t havetime to go all the way back to the penthouse or when he would call you over ifhe had a bit of free time and just couldn’t wait til dinner to see you.

It was rare, however, for you to be present during one ofhis meetings, especially with such an important guest. Not because he didn’t want you to be there, but because hethought it was of no interest to you and you probably had a better way to spend your time. However, today you had to stay while yourhusband and the director of another big-name company talked over some things.

And Jumin was right, the matters they discussed really were of little interest to you,mostly because you couldn’t understand or keep up with their rapidly exchangedwords. Behind the shelter of his desk, you absentmindedly placed a hand on his thigh, running your fingers up and down his thigh while pretending to be listening to their conversation. 

Being too lost in your own thoughts, you failed to notice the small twitch ofhis leg when you came close to his most sensitive area and his breaths growing heavier by the touch.

He clutched the fabric of his pants tightly, a rising heat in the pit of his stomach and frustration made it really hard to sit still when you continuously kept rubbing his thigh.

“Mr Han?”

“Will that be all?” He curtly dismissed the other man in the suit, voicestrained to keep his frustration at bay.

You stopped your actions at the abrupt end of the meeting, findingit odd that Jumin didn’t even stand up to see his future business partner out. Little did you know of one very prominent reason as to why he didn’t.

Once the door was shut and you two were alone, you stood up so you could finally make your way out of the office and back to your daily errands, “That was shorter than I tho-”

With no warning, Jumin stood up, grabbing the wrist of the hand that previously tempted his self-control and pinning you against the wall. He towered over you, one hand palmed against the marble surface of the wall while the other gripped your hand above you.

“You don’t have the slightest idea of what you do to me, doyou?”

His voice was low, almost like a growl. With his gray irises lit up with lust and burning into yours, it was impossible for you to keep still.Squirming in place, you felt an growing need in between your legs as well, knowing fully well what that look in his eyes meant. They traveled from your neatly pressed skirt, up the buttons he’d love to undoof your blouse, to your lips.

Those damn lips of yours, he thought, couldeasily send him into delirium. It wasn’t even their plumpness or their red tintthat made him lose his mind, nor was it the way they slightly parted with an air of innocence as you curiously gazed up at him.

No. It was the memories of everything you had done withthose damn lips that anchored his attention and worsened his need. And while hestared down at yours, your own gaze was fixed on his, tongue darting out to wet your bottomlip in anticipation while neither of you dared to break the silence.

“If you don’t stop lookingat my lips without doing anything about it,” he slid his hand on the nape of your neck, bringing your face closer to his, “I will take you right here on this desk.”

A mischievous grin brokeacross your face, and you oh-so-innocently spread you legs, teasing your center hard against his thigh to grant yourself some satisfaction, “There’snothing stopping you.”

Without another moment ofhesitation, Jumin gripped you by the waist, and, in one swift motion, spun you around so both of your palms were firmly pressed against the surface of his wooden desk and your back was pressed on him. You could feel his erection pushed against your ass as he bent you over the desk, making chaosof the previously neat stacks of paper.

Your heart was already in ecstasy, and you were thankful for the support of the furniture before you, or else your knees would most likely give under under the pressure of his excitement. 

His hands now hiked up yourskirt, fingers tangling with the hems of your panties, eager to pull them down so he could have access to you, all of you. “You really don’t have any ideaof what you do to me. May I?”

You nodded, alreadybreathless from the feel of his cool hands against you, “Please.”

This was the confirmation heneeded to fully remove the thin barriers of clothing between you, teasingyour entrance with the tip of his cock and making you whimper impatiently before pushing himself in you, “I’ll show youexactly-“ He grunted as he felt you tight around him, removing hair from your neck and sloppily kissingyour skin, “Exactly what you do to me.”

[polyesthher]

7/8/17: buy paramore’s after laughter

lol this is mostly me being emo tbh but support paramore ok

i’ve been itching to buy several things lately and idk if i really want them or it’s my depressive state that wants to feed the void with material possessions. i wanted to get a record player bc im definitely buying paramore’s after laughter on vinyl bc aesthetic and the actual record means a lot to me. since i listened to after laughter, i’ve become hooked on paramore tbh and all i want to do is lay around with hayley’s vocals singing into my ears and maybe cry a little. i only started getting into them during their self-titled phase so i’m not remotely attached to the “old” punk version of them. Fake happy is what really sold me on this album btw. It’s everything i want to say to people i’m no longer really close with. It does make me think about how i never want to see certain friend groups again because i’m just embarrassed about my whole existence and feel ok wit it. the line in fake happy that goes “please don’t ask me how I’ve been, don’t make me play pretend” is something that really gets to me. I have nothing in my life right now, other than family and one or two friends, that i genuinely care about and i feel like im at a dead end tbh. having to tell acquaintances/ old friends abt my sad ass life makes me want to scream and i feel like i hate myself even harder. and i always find myself telling half-truths, pretending like im not a failure. Hard times is another relevant jam that’s on repeat. It was the first song i heard off the album and made me check out the whole ep. even if it didn’t feel relevant to me, i’d still bop to it. the overall idea of the album to have cheery synth vibes with depressing ass lyrics gives me life. anyway, i’m not gonna ramble on about this anymore since no one’s gonna read this and i already know my own feelings abt this. 

but yeah, i also want the told u so t-shirt and cd bundle so im gonna wait for the vinyls to be released bc that pink marble record is calling out to me. and a tattoo, which i have a general vision of but im scared of the $$$. + i’m thinking abt moving to ny sometime next year too even tho im not going to FIT bc nj has nothing for me and i need to start living on my own, which means i need to save up. there’s also the last class that i need to take so that i can at least have an associate’s degree, which will def be a couple hundred. there’s also some skincare stuff i want like the eradikate spot solution and the boscia black luminizing mask (best in terms of peeling).

other meaningless tidbits in my mind:

ive been hating my art style even more lately but i still feel compelled to draw

bought a couple books to read even tho my commitment issues extends to reading as well

book related: i read motor crush vol 1 and i like it. babs is always great with the art and the writing is more exciting imo compared to the batgirl comics. snotgirl returned with issue 6 and the art is always pretty even if the plot is still a lil murky and unsatisfying. the plot of vol 1 was kinda messy and i disliked how it ended bc i dont even know if the arc was resolved or still continuing.i like bryan lee omalley’s writing so the writing isn’t something im not used to, i just feel like there’s so many mysteries building up and nothing that really resolves. there are some threads that were resolved in issue 6 (such as what happened in the bathroom with caroline) but another thread shows up in that resolution that has me going ??? Anyways i’ll still buy anything leslie hung does the art for so lmao my gripes aren’t dealbreakers

i went back to watch oitnb even with how pissed the ending of season 4 left me and i did not hate season 5...that much

kesha’s new song makes me so happy

watched baby driver today and i luv it. makes me want to watch more edgar wright and listen to the soundtrack 

i bought 5 bags of flamin hot ruffles bc im paranoid that it’ll be discontinued like the buffalo wing ruffles, which is the definition of overkill

i’ve been looking into gym memberships bc i want to start working out and lose weight seriously now. this is hilarious bc my diet is shit rn (see above). but im sick of not fitting into my old clothes and some new cute stuff i bought online (that i thought would fit). also i really want to lose the baby fat on my face bc seeing my potato face in the mirror really kills the confidence i have left

another thing that’s nagging me is the idea that i want to buy some things just bc those things would add into the image of a person i want to appear to be. it sounds weird but i feel like i want this costume of a person who’s cool for having hipster shit like a record player or colorful sunglasses. it doesn’t help that ppl on instagram make me insecure asf and want the things they have.

ive been trying to stop stalking certain ppl on instagram bc its v pathetic and tends to exacerbate my anxiety and spiral into a depressive hole. its not even like celebrities or anything, just ppl i used to know, which is extra creepy and sad.

this was mildly enjoyable and i think i might write more diary entries on here from now on. it’ll probably be under the polyesthher talks tag, if i remember bc im the worst with tags.

bye       

[swearronchanel]

and my commentary continues: series 6, episode 2 (if this is now a thing idk what to title it)

You asked for it, my first class isn’t until noon tomorrow so I can sleep in & so, I complied Also the SAG awards finished at like 10pm so even after doing my night routine it’s still early haha here it goes …

- Oh shit I forgot color - ah I really like the new intro - Penny’s outfit is so cute - “Walk don’t run” stfu Sister Ursula this isn’t elementary school - “Have you lost your marbles bubsy” haha that’s cute - UGH I WANNA FIGHT THIS NUN - LET JULIENNE ARRANGE THE DAMN FLOWERS - This is when sister Ursula presses sister Monica Joan about the bon bons lol - “Unlike your sisters” guessing u don’t think u count - You’re damn right - Sister MJ sly af 😏 wish she was my grandma - Aw penny it’s ok sweetie all will be well - AlRight so where is St Cuthberts, is it closer than the London? Idk just wondering - I don’t care that much tbh - Damn this man gonna go blind how sad - I like knowing what happens when I’m watching bc I can’t take so much I get anxious - But are we not going to mention Patsy’s wig anymore? It’s still ugly, lucky emerald is beautiful anyway - - Ugh my bbys are still so hurt about the thalidomide 💔💔 - IT WAS NOT EITHER OF YOUR FAULTS - YES IT IS A MIRACLE PATRICK, YOU SHOULD’VE MENTIONED IT LAST WEEK but it’s all good - HE’S TOUCHING HER STOMACH AH - AND THEY KISSED Lmaoo I bet this will break Tumblr - UgH SUCH A SWEET MOMENT TO MELT MY COLD HEART - Jk this show has made me such an emotional mess, like I rarely ever used to cry or anything - But it could also be because of university diminishing my sanity - “We should really start telling people” - YEA PLS GIVE US A CUTE SCENE TELLING EVERYONE @ NONNATUS - - Buttt, I’m gonna guess it’s either going to be implied that they told them off screen or they won’t find out till she starts bleeding mid inspection ?? idk I’m just guessing, don’t come at me lmaoo - Patrick’s smirk “he’ll certainly understand” 😂😂 - SHELAGH’S CRINGING FACE I LOVE IT - YOU KNOW IM HERE FOR ALL CRINGEY EXPRESSIONS - Plus that’s my bby - - PHYLLIS SAW PATS AND DELIA - SHE KNOWS & IM GLAD IT WAS HER TO FIRST FIND OUT - - alright so let me be annoying real quick - From that clip from the casebook Valerie is problematic/lowkey racist & no estoy aquí para eso PERO I like her in the moment? - One, her outfit is cute - & B, she gets along well with my shelagh and seems nice.. I’m not gonna forget her comment though lol, so I’m going to stay neutral for now - - Ok the Marsh baby is born next - Lol sorry I love when sister Winifred is being cringey or funny but this was just kinda boring but I know it’ll get better later in the episode - BUT SERIOUSLY I WANNA KNOW SISTER WINIFRED’S REAL NAME - Idk why that was capitalized I don’t feel that strongly but I’m very curious !¡! - - Shelagh being all cute and cheeky giving those vaccinations - Penny is so sweet - - Alright this is so irrelevant but still, Shelagh is outside.. so Why would she throw up in a napkin in her hand? lol, all that open space 😭😂 idk I really hate throwing up and will not let my self throw up. Not even vlad can make me😷 - SHIT THAT EXPLOSION THO - what were they doing exactly? - like a bitch over here a lil confused :/ - MY LIL SUPERHERO SPRINGING TO ACTION YES BBY - shit George’s blind for good now it’s sad - and arthur’s gonna die damn - - look at disheveled Shelagh so damn pretty but I wonder when she got that cut lol - Lmaoo @ Valerie, so she knows the Nonnatuns - - Damn I’m only 17 mins in why do I talk so much shit to myself - Sister MJ sneaking that bread during sister Ursula’s prayer is me 😂 - I swear though if Sister Ursula tries to get rid of Sister MJ I will fight - My eyes roll every time this woman is on my screen - Phyllis chewing angrily is also me - “Travel visas there have been canceled” shit pats it’s too relevant right now - “I’m trifle deaf these days” PHYLLIS U ARE A GEM - Penny wins best dressed patient - - Patrick worrying is precious - SHELAGH TRYING TO HINT WHILE SMILING IS SO FUNNY BUT WHY - Lmao why are they acting like Tim is not literally right there? - Also this boy is 15 why is he not ever with friends - Of course he knew, he’s always around and isn’t dumb at all. He basically grew up around pregnant ladies tbh - “.. Good I don’t want to know any other details” lmao 😂 - I knew he’d be pleased but I lowkey wanted him not to upset or annoyed so he could have a good little story line - It’s not realistic that this 15 year old is so pleasant with his parents all the time - Like I was an angsty fright @ 15 - lol I’m acting like I’m old, I’m going to be 19 & I’m still like that^ with my parents a lot of the time - - Why do British people call bandaids “plasters”? Hm. I just think of plaster of Paris for like walls or whatever it’s used for - “I’m a slow healer” lol Shelagh is so precious - “If the baby’s a girl I’m moving out” I think it’ll be a boy. Actually Idk forget I said that - Don’t be nervous bby, speak up you got this - “That’s my girl” yes Patrick that’s our girl protect her at all freaking cost 😭 - I’ve gotten so far without saying “fuck” I’m proud - - “This is the dark before the dawn, but there is always a dawn” thanks sister I needed that - “I’ve committed a crime"😭😭 - I love sister MJ - also not gonna lie I cried a little the first time watching this - - Some mothers of color in the community centre makes me happy - Who’s the model though? 😏 - Someone find him & tag me - Ugh here comes sister “I ruin everything” - Honestly when is sister Julienne just gonna come out and say “you gotta go”? - No that’s not the way you do things - fuck yea sister J - “We must simply sit it out and wait for Churchill” - I HOPE THATS TRIXIE - BUT also I really want Sister Julienne to be the one who saves the day - Lol yea Babs your wardrobe should step it up but it’s okay - - Shelagh don’t be nervous you’re gonna kill it - Does sister Ursula even do anything? She doesn’t see patients does she? Nah she just makes everyone angry - Get up outta here - Lol I’m so Brooklyn for that - “Mrs Turner you look nice” - UM YES, MY BBY, her new dresses & coats slay - She finally took a break from the damn cardigans & I love it. Not that there’s anything wrong with cardigans but you catch my drift - Nah for real I wanted a fabulous wardrobe for Shelagh bc times are changing & Laura Main is literally gorgeous so she needs pretty outfits & got it I did - so here for it, now we wait for another pair of trousers. lets get it 1962 - this first dress had such jackie kennedy vibes, love it - - “Consequences be DAMMED” YES PATS - Phyllis and Sister J are proud, I really want one of them to press Sister Ursula - Look @ Delia actually being a nurse! - ah penny 💔 - - Shelagh’s so nervous at first but then is like YOU KNOW WHAT ASSHAT JUDGE - “Where is nurse Mount?” , “where she is needed” YES SISTER JULIENNE - love the blue coat Shelagh - “I’m not ill, I’m just tired and angry” same - Don’t cry bby - “Our best is worthless bc it won’t change anything” ugh crush my heart, especially that little hug. I need to hug them all - lol who invited Tom to the hospital - he’s so handsome though so it’s ok - TELL THEM, STAND UP - “We need to fight” yes ! - I was worried penny’s baby wouldn’t live - C'mon Pats be pc - okay patsy opening up, crushes my heart she’s so closed off but I feel - Here comes the wicked bitch of the east [end] - Whoops can I call a fictitious nun a bitch - YES PATS YES DONT TAKE HER SHIT - Aw patsy, you two will okay, I mean look sister Bernadette came back as Shelagh because of letters so you never know - - Shelagh’s baby blue outfit >> - she needs to go out in public more with her hair down and slay everyone’s life - “Not today.” Yes Delia - “You did it Mrs Turner, you made em listen!” - Yes tf she did. I’m so proud - the set makeup artist did a crazy good job with the burns - “We never really out grow our parents, we just think we do” aw I should call my mum and dad - mm maybe later it’s midnight lmao - DELIA SAID I LOVE U - I FEEL LIKE NO IMPORTANT COUPLE on here HAS SAID “I LOVE YOU” to each other ?? - They almost kissed aw - Fred just break the door damn - Reminds me a little of when Jenny left - Aw the Marsh fam - Phyllis you are gold - Phyllis is still learning Spanish, please give her an opportunity to use it! - the only Spanish speaking mother was conchita, wasn’t that the first episode ever? lets get another one - Anyway, this was so sad. - “The pain it costs to love..” PHYLLIS I LOVE You. You deserve everything good - Aw all the other mothers with penny! - Alright Lets hear it Vanessa - Aw Delia Bonus: preview for next week - my other bby Trixie is back !! - hope she loses her shit when she realizes sister Ursula is ruining everything + patsy/sister mary cynthia are gone - My bby Shelagh looks so pretty!💕 - BUT I KNOW NO ONE IS SHUTTING DOWN ANYTHING - I will not have it - Phyllis spilling the ever so obvious and boiling tea, sister Ursula is UNFIT - Pls let Sister Julienne say something crazy to her before she goes - Why is babs crying?? - ugh of course that’s the most of a preview we get - Nothing bad will happen to my bbys I won’t have it. Protect them at all costs or I’ll spontaneously combust - Jk but I might flip my shit or throw my laptop - But for real for Shelagh to miscarry 3 episodes in would be a waste of a storyline - Plus it is a drama, we’ll be shook for a while, then we’ll cry, we’ll laugh & then Vanessa Redgrave says something profound and we go on with the week - The End 🙃🙃 - If you read this far, you’re a champ - I did this for u all

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #6: “because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING” - Jones

My bitch ass glasses broke so I’m more than happy to be doing a challenge that requires my ears. Maybe wil my eyesight so poor my hearing will get better to compensate who knows. Even if we lose I’m in a Gucci spot to survive.

Tribal was a success. With the first tribal done I’m happy trust is built and I can stop being paranoid.

With that said I think I’m in a good position going forward as I have an alliance and we’re probably reaching a merge or a swap soon.

my plan of action for my tribe since we legit havent got Anything on the doc yet (me n michael have an excuse..) is to make it seem like im doing more than i am. oh im gonna work on it soon! i’ll do this soon! like its all about seeming like im contributing.. when i aint LAMDKNDG

me n michael made a f2 altho it breaks my heart to say its just for the sake of my survival on this dumbass tribe.. theres no way malik flips on me and with michael as my f2 i can essentially force him to flip on danielle if he wants to stay which is like perf rn since i dont really trust her..

i miss my close allies tho lol. like ryan is my #1 n its unfortunate he isnt getting a chance to make more bonds considerig we need those bonds for his idol to make a big move.. hopefully mercia loses again and wes goes tho? it evens it up to 6 sweyn vs 6 mercia and i think itll swap again before merge and hopefully ill be with ryan/rhys/jones :)) my social game is good rn i think.. i just gotta lay low with physical and downplay strategy so im never the target. hard w/ these personalities tho. X

SOOO THIS CHALLENGE IS FUCKING HELL!!! U KNOW WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? IF OUR WHOLE TRIBE FUCKING DID SMTH!!

like im actually gunna go fucking mad.. its songs. yah its hard to identify bc theyre distorted and overlapped but theres no excuse not to get at least artists.. or even one song. malik n michael can barely do that.. LIKE YEAH I HAVENT DONE THE BEST BUT IVE GOT 2 SONGS THERE RN AND IDENTIFIED NICKI + XTINA SO! BLOOP! im gunna kill myself.. poor dani. its especially painful knowing ill try to get her out if we lose LMAOAOAOA but i mean.. (: oh well!

This challenge can litterally chomp on a dick. No. I hate it. I dont want to do it. Like BEGONE.

Honestly its so hard, and like i dont listen to pop so im struggling with it. Hopefully we win, but I feel safe if we go to tribal.

At this point I am so upset because I feel useless because all the ones I know have been picked and idek if anyone took my suggestion seriously. If this round ends my game, I’m going to be so upset!

We’re pretty much fucked unless a miracle happens

I've been a bit nervous about my position and stuff in the game and I'm trying to catch up socially with a lot of people and stuff. I'm doing what I can on a five person tribe and hope I can work on hard on getting as far as I can in this game. I have a feeling we merge next round so that could be cool. I wanna make it far as I can this game, I'm trying to be active but UTR so hopefully it works.

WE WON FIRST PLACE AGAIN AND THIS TIME I WASNT A FUCKUP WOOOOOOOOOOOOP WOOP I’ve been talking to David more and I helped out a lot with this challenge so I’m hoping he won’t want me out next time we go to tribal.

THREE IN A ROW, BABY. Feels good to not have gone to tribal since Jose's elimination. Also an added bonus that I basically carried our tribe to win today, not a big deal, LOL.

Also, with the reward, I've now got a vote steal advantage. This is HUGE for me. I have a group of people I wanna work with in this game and if this group is down in numbers at any point, this vote steal can come in handy.

that challenge was a damn mess but i'm just glad we made it out alive. sad Canute lost though ugh i'm sending all of my positive energy to Scott so he can make it through.... hope we merge next round that would be cute; i'm ready for more action in this game

im gunna kill my self . :) WE LOST. AGAIN. :) NOT MY FAULT. AGAIN.

n now i gotta deal with fucken awkward 2-2 tribal lines when i have a f2 with michael and a love for malik.. but bc dani is good at challenges her ass wont go and thats so annoyin but u can bet ur ass ima try somethin if i have to bc i dont trust malik to keep me safe vs her whereas michael will.. if i have to flip on malik i will

why me tho like im a good person. i dont deserve this. why couldnt i be on a competent tribe. LMAOAOAOA.

THANK GOD WE WON IMMUNITY if we lost I probably would’ve spontaneously combust Bc I love??? My current tribe??? I love Madison too and It sucked we voted her out Bc I actually adore her but she wasn’t doing a lot. I just love this tribe and if we had to vote for each other again I’ll lose my marbles. Maybe we can work more together going into merge if we get there? I hope so, because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING

Well, we lost once again and I’m upset about it. The challenge was super hard for us and we struggled. It seemed like everyone wasn’t really putting in all they could as they just said “I forgot” I was like oh!! cool!! This tribal, I’m not crazy worried right now. I trust Scott a lot at this point because he doesnt have a reason to lie to me by telling me that I’ve been holding up the tribe because... I have been. I think the move this week is to vote out Malik. We’ll see whats going on but I really think we might be doing that this week. Hopefully there’s a merge soon because I need to fucking be by myself!!!

My ass is for sure on the line tonight. I know that  Malik is targetting me for being weak and all that so rn I’m just trying to get Scott 100% on board with voting me and Malik 100% certain that he is safe with me just in case there’s an idol and maybe if I’m too in my nerves and scared I have no qualms with throwing a vote on dani incade of a tie

You know what they say, another week safe, 

That one didn't seem so easy,  partially cause I sucked at it and mainly because I sucked major balls at it. But hey Mo and David saved our asses so yeeeeeeeeeeee boi. And not only that we also got reward but not really cause the only thing I got was a jpg image, and so did Felix David and Mo according to them which means either one of them is lying or Wes has it. Either way I guess it's not the end of the world.

So now Canute is going to tribal I wonder how that is gonna play out, a part of me wants Dani and Michael to be safe but another one wants rocks but at the same time another one would be jealous cause I wouldn't be a part of it and I could use some rocks in my life. Either way that's it for now folks now if you excuse me Felix wants to kidnap me and introduce me to the spooky facebook wikia comunity, spooky shit indeed.

So WOOOOOOOO this is the first tribal of the season that i'm not attending which is amazingggg and feels so good to finally have a break!! Plus like I honestly LOVE my tribe rn bc everyone is so iconic and fun and we even made a charlie's angels thing bc its so iconic... ugh love them BUT if it came down to tribal I think I would be okay still since i've really worked on rhys and we have a 3 dude gay guardians alliance of me, rhys, and ryan even tho im not even gay but they dont need to know that... my boy scott is in tribal rn but i hope he comes out okay!!! if he doesn't well oops idc bye bitch but if he does then yay!!

Tonight I am absolutely terrified I think the votes are gonna be on Malik but you just never know so my best plan is just to hope for the best and campaign to stay I’m not just gonna sit back and get eliminated especially this close to a merge situation where I know I’ll be in a good position to make it far.

im legit gunna die im so nerv and i shouldnt be. LIKE. I TRUST THAT MICHAEL HAS MY BACK. AND MALIK ISNT VOTING ME. SO IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO GO. BUT I DONT THINK THAT FOR SOME REASON. all i can think of in the back of my mind is what if michael and dani flip on me and its 2-1-1.. but theres nothing i can literally do bc if i vote michael and stay our relationship is gone lol

ughhhh i should just be positive but its so hard bc even if malik goes.. i feel awful LMAAOAOOA but like. uhm. yes ): i feel awful

Scott as much as I like the guy I can for sure see he lets his emotions dictate how he plays and while that’s not necessarily bad it’s difficu when you’re trying to blindside someone and he could just run and tell Malik so the nerves are here and out to play hunny

My thing is I think it’s is going to go to rocks. Which is why we were worried about that when linus left but it’s real. Dani we don’t wanna vote each other, hell everyone says they don’t want to vote me which is always weird for me to hear but if that’s true good if they’re all voted me then nasty.. but I don’t want to vote Dani and I definitely don’t want to vote Scott..so that kinda leads to Michael which I don’t want to vote either but I have reasons: the main reason is the past couple of challenges he’s done the worst in, and if we need to survive incase there’s no swap or merge then we need all the strong members here.

I feel a bigger bond with Dani and Scott vs Michael who I feel is cool but I don’t feel we’re clicking on a better level. And it’s not even a tribe thing it’s literallt what I feel could save us from tribal, and how don’t i know if Dani and Michael won’t vote me out right after Scott leaves? So basically what’s happening is it’s likely going to be a 2-2 on Michael and Scott, and I’m not changing my vote. So I’ll likely go to rocks and lose but that’s ok. I did my best and it could be a stupid move but I don’t wanna risk Dani and Michael voting me out if we lost again, because I’d hope Dani wouldn’t but you never know. So rocks here we come!

Malik is voted out 3-1.