#if i could go back in time i’d still choose to fall in love just as desperately.

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - Joe Cool

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Jack Hughes x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warning(s): fighting, brief mention of physical abuse, aggressive cussing, angst

The comeback fic long as fuck so I’m not proofreading more than once :)

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Halloween was my favorite holiday. A time for spooky movies and fall decor. Fun candies and dressing up to party. Nothing was better, especially when the leaves began to change and fall from the trees. And in New Jersey, it was one of the most beautiful times of the year. At least I thought.

The leaves bad barely begun to change before I could feel my season turning sour. Will, my boyfriend, had never been a great guy, but the last slivers of hope I’d been clinging to were beginning to slip from my hands. He insulted me in front of his friends, called me names, grabbed me too hard. I kept telling myself it was just the way he was. That we played hard. That he’d learned it from his father. He just needed time to fix himself. But the longer I stayed the worse it got.

Our last argument was over Halloween costumes. I’d given him weeks, and countless ideas to choose from. I couldn’t say why it was the straw that broke the camels back, but when he kept saying nothing sounded good, I had finally lost it. We fought long and hard the night we broke up, before I had finally kicked him out of my apartment. Will was an awful human anyhow. My best friend had always told me as much. I just never listened.

Weeks passed, and I kept myself distracted with the friends I had close. A few of my girls came over, as well as Jack, from time to time. Well… especially Jack.

“So, I know it’s still a little early and stuff but..” Jack paused as he picked up a slice of pizza and set it on his plate, swiftly returning to my living room. “You plan on going out for Halloween?”

I shrugged at the question.

“All my girl friends already coordinated their costumes. I don’t wanna fifth wheel any of them.” I really wasn’t too worried. The breakup had killed my excitement for the holiday anyhow. I waited for Jack to sit before I stretched my legs across his lap. “What are you going as?”

“Haven’t decided. I was gonna go with Luke but he got sick so.. I’m solo this year.” A soft chuckle fell from the boy’s lips. “And Nico is doing some weird thing with Timo.”

“Poor Jackie,” I teased, earning a playfully scolding look from him. We’d put on some Disney Halloween movie, but neither of us had paid much attention to it. We sat in silence for a moment before Jack looked up from his plate, watching me.

“You know Nico said you could come to the Devils party.” He offered.

“Jack-“

“The girls miss you. They haven’t seen you since you got with that Asshole. And I miss partying with you too.” The mention of Will made my eyes fall back to my plate.

“I don’t have anyone to dress up with.” I gasped as Jack pinched my ankle in response. I leaned forward and swatted at him in retaliation.

“Me!” He shouted through laughter, trying to shield himself. Once his words registered, I relaxed. “Me! You can dress up with me.” His concerned expression shifted into peace once he realized I was done attacking him.

“I don’t know.”

“Look, you don’t have to go, but I’d love to see you there. Everyone would.”

I sat in silence and mulled over the idea. What if it was too early? What if I ended up crying halfway through the night? How would I find a costume?

“Jack.. what would we even go as?”

“Easy.” His quick response surprised me. “Your favorite Halloween movie.”

“Huh?”

“Snoopy and Woodstock.” He spoke as if it was obvious. “Charlie brown?” I felt guilty about how quickly my eyes lit up. Like I wasn’t even grieving the loss of a dear lover.

“I have always wanted to do that.”

“I know.” Jack knew. Of course he did. He always did.

“God. I should have dated you instead.” The words slipped from my mouth as a joke, and my eyes fell back to my plate, completely missing the sad look in Jack’s eyes. I took a small bite of pizza, still considering the idea. “If I did go, I’d get to be Woodstock.” I laid out my only condition, half expecting Jack to say no. As if he was anything like my ex.

“I like snoopy.” His easy agreement took me by shock once again.

“You’d really let me be Woodstock?”

“Yes, of course.” Jack smiled. “You’ve got me all excited now, which means you have to go.”

“Okay, but-“

“Nope. You’re going.”

And just like that it was decided.

——

Jesper’s girlfriend had joined me in my apartment to get ready for the party. She was busy doing her makeup to be Jewel from Rio, while I dusted on a light layer of yellow eyeshadow with some bright blush. We’d had a bottle of wine open somewhere, though I couldn’t remember where we left it. Our glasses were more than full, and our hearts were just the same.

“The boys will be here soon. Are you ready to get dressed?” Nicole questioned as she dug through her various lipstick options.

“Yeah. I’ll run into my room and do that now.”

Over the week, I’d gone shopping different times to find the perfect Woodstock outfit. Jack and I had agreed to surprise one another, which only added to the excitement of actually going out. I shut my bedroom door the minute I was inside, rushing to my dresser to pull out the pieces of the costume I had laid out the night before. A yellow body suit, and a matching yellow mini skirt with layers of frills. I had bought a pair of yellow socks as well. I had never imagined myself wearing so much of the color, but once I got the outfit on and peeked in the mirror, I had to admit, I looked cute.

I rummaged through my room to find my white converses, sliding them on and grabbing a pair of sunglasses and the yellow boa I’d bought. It was a simple look, but it worked well. I performed any small adjustments on my hair in the mirror before stepping out. Nicole had already been dressed, though she wore a robe to get ready considering there wasn’t much to her outfit. Not that I blamed her. Jesper would be drooling all night, and that’s exactly what she was going for.

“Nikky!” I called as I walked down the hall into the living room. The woman quickly emerged from the kitchen, the half empty bottle of wine in her hands.

“Oh. My. God.” Her lazy grin turned into a wide smile. “You’re adorable! Jack is gonna love this!”

“Yeah?” Her reaction fueled my confidence. “You think so?”

“I know so.” She took a swig from the bottle before placing it on the coffee table. She walked over to ruffle the boa around my neck, laughing.

“Birds of a feather we must be.” She smirked at her own joke, plucking a yellow feather from my boa and a blue one from her own costume. She laid them on the table together. “A keepsake. It’s cute.” I had to agree, it was. Our phones both went off within moments of each other. Our cue to get moving. I sat on the couch to lace my shoes while Nicole ran off to find her own. We met in the kitchen to take a quick shot before rushing out the door and out of the apartment.

When we got to the car, I found Jack standing outside with a wide grin. And I must admit, his costume brought a grin to my lips as well. Big black puppy ears hung from either side of his head, connected by a small headband barely noticeable through his thick ruffles of hair. He wore a white t-shirt with a little red choker as a collar. And someone, god knows who, had drawn the black nose on for him.

“You look- adorable.” I couldn’t help but reach out for a hug. Jack met me halfway, wrapping his arms tightly around my midsection and resting his chin on my shoulder.

“Thanks. Nico’s girl helped me.” Jack giggled, holding on for a second longer than anticipated. When we parted, I couldn’t help but stare. He was so cute like this.

“Come on! In the car!” Nicole opened the passenger side door, climbing in the front with Jesper.

Jack was kind enough to open the back door for me, allowing me to climb in before he did.

“Someone smells like alcohol.” Jesper commented as Nicole shut the door. She and I laughed softly.

“Nothing wrong with a little pregame.” Nicole reasoned. “Now step on it sexy.”

——

When we arrived, my nerves went through the roof. I had sobered up fairly quickly. I hadn’t seen the Devils or any of the girls in so long. I didn’t know where to start conversation, or how to even fill anyone in. But when I stepped out of the car, Jack grabbed my hand, and every single worry flew out the window.

“Everyone is gonna be so excited.” Those were the last words I remember before we walked around the house into the back yard. Then it became a blur for a while. People asked how I was, what I was up to these days, where I had been. It was all a lot. So much so that I’d felt myself slip into autopilot at some point. Though I quickly fell out of it when the excitement of my arrival calmed down and I was able to join Jack at the pong table.

“Snoopy!” I heard the familiar voice of Nico call, both Jack and I turning for only a moment to see the Swiss man approaching. Drunk off his ass.

“Hey, Nico!” Jack had been fairly tipsy as well. Hell, we all were. The only difference was Jack and I could keep our clothes on when we had alcohol in our systems. The same couldn’t be said for Nico or Timo.

After much consideration, Jack and I had agreed that we were certain they’d gone as dumb and dumber. It was only hard to tell because all they had on were the blue and orange pants. All of their other clothes were missing.

“Timo and I play you next!” Nico called, earning a nod from Jack.

The music was loud, and people were yelling louder. A never ending issue of noise. Couples ran in and out of the house, some were in the pool, others at the small homemade bar, and others around the food table. But Jack and I hadn’t moved from the pong table in around 15 minutes. We were the best. We had been since high school.

“You know you look really good tonight?” I called toward Jack, fishing a ping pong ball out of a solo cup.

“Huh? Oh! Thanks! You look pretty too!” We went silent.

“Pretty?” I asked.

“Of course, beautiful.” Jack downed the shot from the cup I’d taken the ball from. I stared at him, surprised. Shocked?

“You don’t mean that.” I brushed the comment off nonchalantly, though Jack quickly looked at me and smirked.

“Yes I do. Of course I do.”

“Jack, stop.” I shook my head, trying to act dumb. Trying to ignore how my heart fluttered. As if I hadn’t crushed on him since high school.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, seeming to realize finally what he was saying. After the exchange, I threw the game, and Nico threw a fit because now he wouldn’t get to play Snoopy.

I was quick to step back from the table, announcing my need for water before I rushed toward the back door to the house. Compared to the coldness of the night air, the indoors was much warmer. As I shut the door behind myself, I let out a soft sigh, hearing voices in the living room. The girls.

I followed the sounds right to the culprits, all curled up with pillows and blankets in a circle on the floor, chatting their lives away.

“Everything okay?” Timo’s girlfriend questioned. Did I still look distressed?

“I’m alright. Just.. Jack-“ I paused. They didn’t need to know. And yet somehow the looks on each of their faces said they already did.

“Sit down. It’s chaotic outside.” Timo’s girlfriend opened a spot on the floor for me, and I made myself at home in the safety of the women.

“It’s still early.” Nicole commented. “Jack just doesn’t get that.”

“What?” I asked, incredulous.

“Nico tells me.” Anna, Nico’s girlfriend spoke up. “Jack just doesn’t wanna lose his chance that’s all.”

Lose his chance? I felt overwhelmed.

“Just don’t rush into anything you’re not ready for.” Timo’s girlfriend reasoned.

What was happening. I had been staring at the floor so long I didn’t even realize I had a room full of eyes on me. Until I looked up.

“He likes me?” I earned a nod. “And you guys knew?” Another nod.

“He hated seeing how Will treated you.” Anna spoke softly, as if that would ease my stress.

“All this time?” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. I needed time to think. To process. To- fuck. Anything. I had waited so long for Jack only to assume he didn’t see me the same way. So I moved on with another man, only to be told he did feel the same.

A knock on the wall brought me from my thoughts. I sat up slightly and spun around only to spot Jack in the doorway. He looked stressed, and his body was swaying back and forth in the slightest.

“Hey can we talk? Upstairs?” Jack’s soft voice broke the silence. I don’t know why but I nodded, stood, and followed him up the steps. Into what I assumed was a guest room. Jack shut the door. “I’m sorry-“

“Why did you wait so fucking long?” I asked, exasperated. My tone caught Jack off guard.

“What?”

“You! You waited!” I raised my voice. “I went through all of that shit because of you!” I didn’t want to be angry. Why was I angry?

I stopped in my tracks the moment I saw the look in Jack’s eyes. Hurt. Betrayal. Shock. Then it fueled my anger, my bitterness.

“That’s not my fault..” his soft voice pushed out.

“If you would have said something I would have fucking dated you! Instead of fucking around with that asshole!” I snapped. “God damnit! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“That’s not my fault and you know it! What the fuck is wrong with you? I was there for you through everything! Every time he yelled at you and called you names! When he didn’t come home some nights or when you needed a place to stay!” Jack raised his voice, “and somehow it’s my fault?! How about it was your bad judgment!”

A mutually hurt silence fell between us. Snoopy wasn’t supposed to yell at Woodstock. They were best friends. But Woodstock had never blamed Snoopy for his hardships and suffering. I felt every emotion in my system come crashing down to sadness. Heartbreak. My body seized up, muscles so tense my arms went numb. My eyes turned glassy and I drew my lip so hard between my teeth that I tasted blood.

“Jack,” his name came out in a whisper.

“No. Fuck it. No. You said what you said. If that’s how you feel then forget it.” Jack took a backwards step toward the door. “Go home.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I ever did shit for you.” He swung the door open, almost running face first into Nicole, giving her a sideways glance before he stormed off down the steps. The tension in my body released in that very moment, my shoulders falling with a broken sob.

What had I done?

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[pinkkittysaw]

put my thoughts under a read more cause AAAAAAAA

“‘You know I’m still in love with you’ it’s vile, unfair, but you let those words cut through the chilly air of the evening anyway.”

“He’s right, you don’t get to say that. You don’t get to hurt him more than you already have. But haven’t you always been selfish? Haven’t you always put your needs right before his, up until the very end?”

“You left me. No, even worse, you forced me to leave you. I begged, I waited at your door, you never even opened. You don’t know what love is”

“Oh, I know why. You get off to that. You get a kick out of things going wrong, of the worst possible scenarios, you bask in any goddamn disappointment because it gives you the chance to think you were right. Something was eventually going to happen. And that’s how you always leave”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

that one asuka quote that goes “don’t make me remember that. i wanted to forget those things, don’t uncover them. i don’t want those terrible memories anymore” DJDJSJSNSNSN

“But years of trying and the end of your relationship have taught him that this is not something anyone else can do for you. You have to figure it out on your own, it hurts too much to keep trying only to keep failing and he’s still so worn out from all the useless love he has for you. Doesn’t even know what to do with it now, where to put it. No point in giving it to you, unthinkable to give it to someone else. It’ll just stay in his body, he believes, slowly eating him alive from within for god knows how much more time.”

“it’ll just stay in his body, he believes, slowly eating him alive from within for god knows how much more time.” me when me when me when me when me when me when ME WHEN ME

“‘I would’ve been there’ he speaks slowly, eyes never leaving yours, not even attempting to control the desperation in his voice anymore ‘through the worst, I would’ve been there. You didn’t want me’”

“‘It’s not the love you deserve’ you beg him to understand, not to forgive. Living without him is hard enough but living knowing that he hates you? It’s excruciating. Possibly the worst pain you’ve ever experienced and man, did you experience pain. ‘You deserve someone healthy, someone who won’t be a burden. You deserve a love that’s bright and soothing, it’s all I ever wanted for you. It’s just unfortunate that I was never able to provide’”

“‘I wanted it to be you’ he whispers ‘I wanted it to be you so badly’ and he doesn’t add the I still want it to be you that’s clawing inside his chest, begging to be let out.”

“If he could go back in time, he’d still choose to fall in love with you just as desperately. Even if he’s doomed, even if the tomb won’t close, even if he’ll never be who he used to be again. You’ll always be worth it.”

IF CLARITY'S IN DEATH THEN WHY WON'T THIS DIE?

megumi x reader

a/n: angst, implied mental illness/depression. broke my own heart writing this. obviously a nod to my favorite song from midnights!

Megumi notices when you leave through the front door, jacket thrown over your shoulders and a cigarette hanging lazily from your fingers.

Of course he notices, he thinks angrily.

After all this time, his body still moves on autopilot when it comes to you. If you enter a room, the air still shifts, his head still turns. If you’re looking at him, he still feels your eyes burning holes in his very being, even if you look away right as his indigo gaze challenges yours. And fuck your voice, honestly. Still the one he hears so distinctly over any other noise, any other chatter, any possible beat of silence. He could be in the middle of the goddamn ocean, underwater, ears a second away from exploding from the pressure and he would still hear you laugh on any shore. It’s what love did to him, apparently. Each second spent together had your being carefully carved into each fiber and muscle of his.

And now, in a room filled with some of his closest friends and the beautiful woman holding his hand, he can’t breathe. Because, how dare you? Show up all of a sudden, have the audacity to appear surprised by his presence, spend half of the evening looking at him, at her, and now taking a smoke break because you’re what? Stressed? Why can’t you just leave, then?

Megumi needs a reason to follow you outside and he lets that reason be anger. It’s an anger that fades into something more complicated, something that encompasses both resentment and necessity. You don’t get to lead, he does for once. Even if leading means forcing himself to confront you.

Itadori’s porch only has two steps and sure enough you’re sitting on the first one, curled into yourself with your chin resting on your knees as the front door shuts behind you. Your back straightens up as if a shockwave was sent through your entire body and you’re only gifted with one second, just one entire second to hope for the person behind you to be Yuuta, or Maki, or even Itadori, the host himself. But he still wears the same cologne so your heart can only squeeze pathetically as he sits on the upper step behind you. A safe space, the perfect distance. A silent demand for you not to turn around but to still feel his presence, long legs stretched right next to you.

“Can you believe how old Yuuji is?” you speak casually but there’s nothing casual about the way your voice trembles.

He hums.

“Old enough to get drunk on his own birthday, apparently”

“Finally, you mean” the small laugh you let out sounds weird and you seal it by bringing the cigarette to your numb lips, inhaling as deeply as you can. Of course he doesn’t laugh.

“Did he invite you?” there’s no harshness embedded in the question but your eyes flutter shut for a second anyway.

“Don’t be mad at him, I’ll leave in a bit”

“That’s very generous of you”

You exhale slowly, take the hit quietly. The cruel contrast between how you feel for each other cuts the air from your lungs for a moment. “I know it’s not mutual but I’m happy to see you. To see that you’re doing fine”

This time he does laugh, a dry, mocking sound that crawls out of his throat and sends a shiver down your spine.

“Give me a fucking break” he mutters and you can’t see it but he’s adamantly shaking his head, in disbelief “you mean you’re happy to see I’m dating someone? Is that why you’re here?”

“I didn’t know” the reply comes out harsher than how you intended but you can’t help it really, not as flashes of long legs, blonde hair, pretty scarlet lips curved into an adoring smile play on repeat right before your eyes, so much that you have to blink the ghostly appearances away “but I am happy. If you’re happy”

“Stop trying to be the bigger person. You’ve been staring all night”

“Yes. Yes, I’ve been staring. You know why I’ve been staring”

You hear the distinct hitch of breath.

“Don’t” he sputters out.

The corners of your eyes sting and you’re thankful you get to keep the pathetic expression taking over your features to yourself.

“You know I’m still in love with you” it’s vile, unfair, but you let those words cut through the chilly air of the evening anyway.

Megumi’s nails painfully dig into his palms and he hopes blood comes out, he hopes a meteor strikes the garden and opens the biggest crater in recorded history, he prays Gojo Satoru will jump down from the fucking roof to grab the collar of his shirt and drag him away as his inopportune, hectic, annoying self often does. But nothing happens. There’s no calamity to distract him from the rage and the pain wrecking his body from within.

“You don’t get to say that” you can tell he’s gritting his teeth but what’s worse is the agony concealed in his tone. You recognize it, of course you recognize it.

He’s right, you don’t get to say that. You don’t get to hurt him more than you already have. But haven’t you always been selfish? Haven’t you always put your needs right before his, up until the very end?

“You left me. No, even worse, you forced me to leave you. I begged, I waited at your door, you never even opened. You don’t know what love is”

With a shaky breath, you extinguish the cigarette on the same step you’re sitting on, then press your thumbs onto your eyelids in a weak attempt to stop the tears. It doesn’t work.

“I’m sorry” you murmur “you know it wasn’t because I stopped loving you. I just wanted to—”

“I don’t give a shit. Who gave you the right to make that choice on your own, for the both of us? Why didn’t I get to have a say in the matter?”

“Megumi…”

“Oh, I know why. You get off to that. You get a kick out of things going wrong, of the worst possible scenarios, you bask in any goddamn disappointment because it gives you the chance to think you were right. Something was eventually going to happen. And that’s how you always leave”

“You’re being cruel” it’s barely a whisper but it’s met with a sarcastic smirk nonetheless.

“Well, you broke my fucking heart, so maybe I get to be cruel”

You turn around at last and he can’t help the wince as he takes in the sight of your tear stained cheeks.

“You think I enjoy being like this? You think I like being so scared, never laying the armor down, no matter how much I love and trust someone? You think I get a kick out of being so broken?” you wonder if a person can even cry as much as you are as you speak angrily, conscious of how undeserving of that feeling you actually are. Why should you get to be upset when he’s the one who’s been hurting all this time?

Megumi almost, almost gives in to the impulse of gently wiping away your tears. He’s on the verge of doing what he’s done a million times: take you in his arms and hope it’s enough to keep you from falling apart right in front of his eyes. But years of trying and the end of your relationship have taught him that this is not something anyone else can do for you. You have to figure it out on your own, it hurts too much to keep trying only to keep failing and he’s still so worn out from all the useless love he has for you. Doesn’t even know what to do with it now, where to put it. No point in giving it to you, unthinkable to give it to someone else. It’ll just stay in his body, he believes, slowly eating him alive from within for god knows how much more time.

“I would’ve been there” he speaks slowly, eyes never leaving yours, not even attempting to control the desperation in his voice anymore “through the worst, I would’ve been there. You didn’t want me”

He'd been there so many times, after all. On the days you couldn't bring yourself to pull your head out from beneath covers, let alone leave the bed. Limbs as heavy as wool soaked with water, so inert he'd have to lift your arm himself whenever he'd slip onto the mattress right next to you, to hug and press you to his chest, a useless attempt to give you some sort of solidity. He'd been there on the days sobs would exhaust your body to the point of a numbness that scared him. He'd been there on the days he'd have to gently cradle you in his arms and shower with you, whispering sweet encouragements in your ear as his hands massaged body wash and shampoo and hair masks, not wanting to miss a single step. He'd hoped his love would be enough to fill you, whenever you transformed into an empty shell.

“It’s not the love you deserve” you beg him to understand, not to forgive. Living without him is hard enough but living knowing that he hates you? It’s excruciating. Possibly the worst pain you’ve ever experienced and man, did you experience pain. “You deserve someone healthy, someone who won’t be a burden. You deserve a love that’s bright and soothing, it’s all I ever wanted for you. It’s just unfortunate that I was never able to provide”

It’s been so long since he’s seen you in person, since he’s heard your voice. He shuts his eyes for a moment and there you are, an image burned into his retina so perfectly, so limpid even behind closed eyelids. You’re always there.

“I wanted it to be you” he whispers “I wanted it to be you so badly” and he doesn’t add the I still want it to be you that’s clawing inside his chest, begging to be let out.

You smile a broken smile as you sniffle and offer a shrug. “I wanted it to be me, too. We sure were something, huh?”

We were, Megumi thinks. We are, he mentally adds, picturing all the mornings he’d still spend in bed with you, the coffee cup left untouched in his cupboard, the hydrating tangerine hand soap he keeps buying just because it reminds him of you.

He gets up carefully, not fully trusting the steadiness of his legs. There’s not an ounce of anger left to keep him pieced together, stable. There’s nothing left to ground him.

“When it gets bad, you know you can still come to me, right?” it takes everything in him to let the words out and not because he’s too proud to still direct any form of affection your way. It’s because he knows you won’t do it. You’ve made up your mind a long time ago and Megumi knows you’ve decided to figure it out on your own, without the risk of hurting someone else in the process. He’s now the last person you’ll ever go to, when it gets bad.

“I know. I will” you’re considerate enough to lie and the only victory he gets is given by the sight of your shoulders relaxing ever so slightly, as if an invisible burden has been suddenly taken off your back. How many times can a heart actually break? Why does he survive the process each time?

You wipe your cheek with your sleeve, chest heavy from the realization that you stand defeated. Megumi is still your person. Even if you’ve pushed him away, even if you’ve given up on the love of your life to protect it, he only allows himself to let go to some extent.

He registers the same, painful feeling: it’s not permanent, it’s never goodbye, and your resolve alone has certainly never been strong enough to kill whatever is left of a love so stubborn. 

Sometimes Megumi finds himself missing the person he was all his life, up until you became part of it. He wonders if that version of him still exists somewhere, the one still foreign to the intensity of love, a boy content with spending his days hanging out with classmates, playing baseball after school and focusing on his exams the first years in college. Megumi misses the person who still thought love was a magical, exciting feeling sprinkled over shared strawberry ice cream dates, awkward first kisses and late night drives.

Then, just as suddenly as it comes, the feeling goes away and he wants to kick himself over it. Because yeah, it may hurt like hell right now but the time spent with you has given him so much the pain might even be worth it. If he could go back in time, he’d still choose to fall in love with you just as desperately. Even if he’s doomed, even if the tomb won’t close, even if he’ll never be who he used to be again. You’ll always be worth it.

“No matter where I am, who I am with. Come to me” Megumi insists, knuckles white in his pockets from how tight his fists are.

You offer a gentle nod and, as the front door opens and a tender voice calls for him to come back inside, he knows he’ll wait. As pointless as it is, he’ll wait.

[itsthecline]

Maybank! Reader trying to get Rafe off of her as JJ is face timing her! I need to know how she'd react. I just know Rafe would be such a tease!!!

are you trying to kill me?

maybank!reader x rafe cameron

summary you’re spending time with your boyfriend while jj has been trying to get ahold of you

warnings profanity , jj almost catching you with rafe , secret relationship

a/n oh lord , just know this is not the only time this has happened

18+ minors dni

you were at rafe’s house for the weekend. initially , you were supposed to spend a couple of days in charleston ; there was a farmer’s market going on that you had wanted to go to , but rafe had a meeting in the morning. so instead of a weekend away , you both decided on a weekend at home.

no phones , no disruptions. just you and rafe. you had told jj that some touron was taking you to some place special , seeming unimpressed but still choosing to go. that got him off your back so he wasn’t checking your whereabouts all weekend. if he did , he’d see you were at tannyhill.

“i know you’re upset about not making it onto the mainland this weekend,” rafe apologized from his desk , looking at you as you lounged on his bed, “sorry.”

“baby , it’s fine,” you assured him , scrolling through tiktok on his phone while he finished up some paperwork. “you’re hot when you’re in business mode. i don’t exactly mind,” you added , getting up from bed and stalking over to him.

“yeah?” he smiled , spinning in the chair to face you and give you a seat in his lap, “well i’d hope you’d think so considering this deal will help us in the future.”

rafe was always talking about that. your future together. he constantly told you every move he makes is securing the life that you both wanted. a life away from your families ; a life that you could spend together without anyone else’s opinions.

“i like when you talk about our future,” you admitted , arms coming around rafe’s neck as you found purchase in his lap, “gets me excited. y’know , it’s nice to see how much you care about us.”

“i care about you more than most things,” rafe replied , planting kissing from your cheek down to your neck.

you sighed , really letting the feeling of his lips sink into your sink. “i’m sorry that everything is so difficult,” you sighed , letting your head fall to his shoulder as rafe’s hand rubbed your back, “i wish things were different , and you could be with me in front of everyone. i know it bothers you,” you continued , pressing kisses into the side of his neck and face.

“i would love if i could show you off to everyone. let the whole island know that you’re mine,” rafe agreed, “but i know that it’s not a plausible option until we have the ability to get away if need be.” he was right ; there was no world that you could be publicly dating rafe cameron. mostly because of the stigma around pogues dating kooks , but also because of your friend group’s history with rafe and his friends.

“i love you regardless,” you smiled , looking into his eyes gently. you loved this man more than anyone in your life— besides jj. rafe pressed a smiley kiss onto your lips , picking you up and moving to the bed. his body covered yours as he kissed up and down your neck , getting you to laugh and try to push him off “stop it! are you trying to kill me?!” you cackled , still trying to remove him.

“i think you’ll find your attempts to get me off of you aren’t going to work , babe,” he laughed into your neck , lifting for a second to kiss your face, “it’s cute though.”

“yeah well , it’s not my fault you’re gigantic,” you sighed , lungs not filling as much as usual because of rafe’s weight on you, “besides it’s not like i’m actually—“

your words were cut off when your phone started ringing. you knew it was your phone when you heard the ringtone. it was jj. “who is it? thought we agreed no contact with the outside world.” rafe grumbled , letting his head rest on your shoulder.

“get off of me,” you rushed out , actually trying to get him away now, “it’s jj,” you announced , reaching for your phone on the side table , but you couldn’t because rafe was keeping you in your spot.

“no , we agreed,” he shook his head , refusing to move.

“babe , it might be important,” you huffed , really , truly pushing at him as your phone rang one final time before going silent, “rafe! what if something’s wrong? i gotta call him back. get off , freak,” you were still laughing a little , but only because you could feel rafe chuckling to himself.

you were finally able to reach your phone , grabbing it just as jj called again. a facetime call now. “what could he possibly want that’s more important than me and you fucking?” rafe asked , thrusting his hips against yours jokingly.

“literally the possibilities are endless,” you sighed , accepting the facetime after telling rafe to ‘please shut the fuck up for once in your life’

“dude , i know you said you’re having your romantic getaway weekend with what’s his face , but you will not believe the swell i just dominated!” jj started talking as soon as you picked up , angling the phone so rafe’s head was out of frame.

“wow! that’s cool , bud,” you mused, “but i’m kinda busy , so…” you made a face , knowing jj could tell that you didn’t want to be on the phone with him at the moment.

“ew! i don’t care that you’re fucking some touron , i just had to tell— hey , where are you anyway?” jj asked , squinting his eyes in the sun to try and view his screen and your location a little better.

you glared at rafe when he stifled a giggle. “at some hotel with what’s his face,” you lied , rolling your eyes, “i gotta go , jacky!”

“okay , use protection. i love you. see you in a couple of da—” he rambled before you hung up on him and hit rafe.

“why would you laugh!” you couldn’t help yourself but join in , finally pushing rafe onto his back on the bed and getting on top of him, “you’re a bad influence , y’know.”

“you love it,” rafe smiled , hands finding purchase on your hips as he looked at you.

“debatable.”

rafe sat up , bringing you with him as he leaned against his headboard. “what can i do to swing your vote?” he wondered , pressing soft kisses all over your face, “i’ll do whatever.”

you laughed and grabbed his face , kissing him back. the kiss was practically teeth clashing because of your smiles. “consider me convinced already.”

taglist @maybankslover @annatartastic @maroonz @icaqttt @yootvi @inlovewithmorales

[literally-loco]

Lend a Hand? (18+)

Pairings : Johnny “Soap” Mactavish / Fem!Reader / Simon “Ghost” Riley Content Warnings : PIV Sex, Oral (Fem receiving) Voyeurism, She/Her pronouns used, [slut] used, praise Word Count: 3K A/N: This is my first time actually posting my writing-thank you SO much for reading xoxo

————————————————————————-

“You want me…to fuck your best friend?”

————————————————————————-

You almost dropped the dish you were scrubbing and looked over at your boyfriend in disbelief. Did he seriously just ask that, like it was nothing?

“What?” By the look on his face, you wondered if you’d misheard him. That was the face of someone asking what you wanted for dinner, or if you’d taken the bins out.

“What’d you say Johnny?” You asked, letting the plate fall softly back into the soap(hah funny) filled water.

“Simon. Think you’d ever fuck him?” He barely looked up from his phone, letting his arm drape lazily over the back of your well-loved sofa. It wasn’t your hearing messing up-he’d actually said that. You faltered slightly, turning around to look at your boyfriend.

“I mean-Johnny where’s this coming from?” You asked hesitantly. Johnny had never been an insecure boyfriend-he’d proudly show you off to his friends at any given chance. You’d be the one to choose the less revealing outfits, he was just so desperate to show his friends how lucky he got.

“He’s been in a bad mood lately. ‘Think he needs a good fuck.” Johnny finally met your gaze, placing his phone down on the console table to give you his full attention. “I haven’t said anything yet-not to him.” He clarified, clearing his throat as he spoke. ”I trust him to not be a stupid bastard-most of the time-and, you know, he’s not a bad looker-“

“You want me…to fuck your best friend?” You cut him off, a shocked look on your face. You hadn’t thought about it before, hell, Johnny hadn’t brought it up before. You’d never really thought of Simon in that way, the man that managed to darken any doorway with his sheer presence. The man with eyes so deep you could spend days exploring them. The man who never gave away so much as a hint of who he really was-the man who you could spend hours interrogating and all you’d get was a migraine.

“I mean, yeah? Only if you want to hen, completely up to you.” His words were gentle, not pushy or pressuring, but a question. “I’d be in the room with you, right next to you if you wanted. And it’s Simon-not just anyone, Si-“

“I’ll do it.” You answered-suddenly quite sure of yourself. You’d had sex with people other than Johnny, sure, but never whilst you were dating anyone. It was new, that’s for sure, but was new necessarily bad? Johnny would be right there-he said so, and it was Simon. You’d met him countless times. And he was Johnny’s best friend-his brother in arms.

“Grand, I’ll shoot him a message.”

————————————————————————-

Three days has passed since Johnny had sent the message, and all you’d got in response was “Ok.”.

You opened the door, expecting your shopping, and was instead met with the wall that was Simon. You felt warmth creep up your neck to your face as it dawned on you. Today was the day. What felt like minutes passed, and you were still stood in the doorway.

“Am I coming in?” His gruff voice asked, placing a gloved hand on the doorframe. You quickly moved to the side, and he walked his way in. “So we’re doin’ this?”

“Ah-yeah! You can still back ou-“

“No.” He cut you off, turning back to meet your gaze with those explorer worthy eyes. “I want to.” You just nodded, glancing back to wonder how a man could spend so long in the bathroom.

Johnny welcomed Simon soon after, pulling him into a hug, before leading him to the sofa. Unsure of how exactly this was going to go, you stood beside your boyfriend, letting a hand rest on his shoulder for comfort.

“Come sit down lass.” Johnny murmured, pulling you onto his lap as he continued talking to Simon about when they were next needed on base, the gentle rhythm of his finger gently stroking your thigh easing the building anxiety of what was to come.

“We doin’ this?” You glanced over at Simon’s sudden words, and caught sight of the small grin that had appeared on your boyfriend’s face. “Hope it’s not too..err..rushed-I assume Johnny already made out that I was some sex starved bastard.” Johnny snorted at that, his light strokes on your thigh soon turned into him gripping it tight, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thigh.

“Bit eager to fuck my girl, aren’t you Simon?” His grip stayed firm, almost holding you in place on his lap.

“Never said I wasn’t, Johnny.” Simon retaliated, his gaze staying fixed on you, those blue eyes meeting your gaze beneath his ever so familiar mask.

“Ready hen?” You barely had time to choke out a small “Yes” before Johnny was lifting you up, and carrying you into your shared bedroom.

————————————————————————-

You were used to the familiar sense of Johnny tossing you onto the bed with the greed of a starved man entering a banquet, but this time he ever so gently placed you down.

His gaze turned to face the shadow darkening your door frame, and spoke firmly. “Traffic lights rule apply-Green for go, amber for slow down, red for stop.” He shifted his body so he was facing you, his perfectly blue eyes meeting your gaze. “You still wanna do this? You can back out anytime lovie-mean it. He won’t be mad-neither will I.” His tone was gentle, but firm in a way that evidenced he meant what he said. You met his lips with yours, planting a soft kiss on his.

“I know. I want to.” And you did. Three days had passed-but it had been on your mind. How Simon would be the one to fuck you. How the hands you’d ever only seen gloved would be all over you. You’d wondered how he’d fuck you-would he be gentle? All soft words and soft hands. Would he be rough? Moving you around as if you weighed nothing, whispering harsh words into your ear as he ravaged you. It was enough to get you flushed in bed, lying next to Johnny.

“Don’t just stand there then Simon-not when she’s already on the bed, looking this pretty for you.” Johnny sat down in the corner chair, his gaze never leaving Simon-as he watched him slowly walk up to the bed.

You’d never considered the size difference before this. Johnny was tall, yes, but Simon was big. He easily towered over you, even when he crawled onto the bed, right by your legs.

His hands slowly met your legs, and a shiver ran down your spine. Even with those gloves on, you could still feel the heat radiating from his body, a stark contrast to how cold you felt. Gently pushing your legs to the side-his eyes never leaving yours, searching for any hint of discomfort-he settled in between them, blocking out the brightness from the ceiling light.

His hands continued their wander, up your lower legs, over your knees, and settled on your thighs. “This okay?” His rough voice asked, and you nodded. “Need an answer, I asked you a question, didn’t I?” You hadn’t expected him to sound so assertive, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Yeah-Yeah that’s okay.” You murmured, keeping your gaze on his masked face.

“Good.” His hands continued their journey, ending up on your waist, just under your shirt. “Want to lose this?” He gently teased the seam of your shirt, and you nodded once more. “Gotta speak up for me lovie.”

Once you’d consented, he carefully supported your back up, and lifted your shirt over your head.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” He murmured-quiet enough that maybe you weren’t supposed to hear. His gloved hands ran up your torso,

thumbs gentry stroking the skin just under your bra-wire. You sat up, gently moving him off you to reach behind your back. Simon scooted back, confused at first and searching for the uncertainty in your eyes. But when your bra fell forward, and you tossed it off the bed, his eye lit up. “So eager for me..” He murmured, lunging forward with his mouth stopping just over your nipple.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.” You murmured, taking a deep breath when you realised what he was about to do.

Barely waiting a second after you answered, he reached up to lift the mask onto his nose, revealing his scarred mouth. In an instant, his mouth was on your nipple, licking and sucking on it as if he would never be able to again. One of his hands moved to tease your other nipple-drawing a soft, desperate sound out of you. He captures it between his thumb and forefinger, pinching slightly to harden it between his fingers.

Desperate to pull that beautiful sound out of you again, he swapped over, palming your now damn breast with the gloved palm of his hand. “Such pretty fucking tits.”

“Aren’t they just?” Johnny’s voice chimed in, and your gaze turned to him. He got up out of his chair, and strode over to the bed. Crouching beside you, he planted a soft kiss on your lips. “Keep looking at him hen-keep those pretty eyes on him.” You nodded, turning your gaze back to Simon, and found his eyes staring up into yours. You’d never seen him so blissed before, suckling on your tit like he’d never see one again.

“You like that, eh? Having my best friends hands on you, teasing you, touching you?” Johnny murmured in your ear, and turned your face back when you went to look at him. “What did I say? Eyes on him.”

All you could do was let out a pretty whine when he pinched your nipple between his finger-sending jolts of pleasure down to your cunt, and earning a sharp inhale from Simon.

“She liked that, didn’t she L.T?”

Simon lifted his head, palming your breasts with his hands.

“You want some more hen? Is that it?” Your boyfriend murmured, and Simon’s hands slid off your tits, and down your torso until they rested on your hips. He-awkwardly-shuffled down the bed, until his head rested on your thigh.

“Are we losing these?” Simon murmured, his fingers resting on the hem of your shorts.

“Please…Simon..” You gasped, watching the small smirk appear on his face.

“So sweet for me-aren’t ya?” He breathed, gently pulling down your shorts and panties until you could kick them off.

“She’s awful sweet when she wants to get fucked.” Johnny chuckled, his hand on the back of your head to force your gaze down to Simon.

“All this, just from me worshiping those pretty tits?” You instinctively went to close your thighs, but his hands pushed them back open. “I’m not hearing red.” Simon’s eyes went up to meet yours, as he licked the first stipe up your folds.

You swear you met God.

A soft whine escaped your lips and the vibrations of his low chuckle ran up your spine. “So fucking sensitive-aren’t you?” You watched his eyes flutter shut as he darted his tongue over your bundle of nerves, and you couldn’t help but arch your hips into him.

Simon ate pussy like it was his last meal. He wasn’t sloppy, but you were sure the combined effort of his saliva and your wetness had made you a sopping mess for him. His hands left your inner thighs-and you didn’t quite understand why until you felt his thumb circling your clit. One gloved hand rested on your lower stomach, as you bucked your hips into his face. “Yeah-you’re real sensitive.” He murmured, his mouth taking over from his thumb, making what you assumed was a figure of eight over your clit.

With the ungloved hand-his middle finger gently teased your hole, until he pushed it inside to gently begin fucking you on his finger.

You definitely met God.

You should’ve guessed his hands would be thick-he was huge-but this was something else.

“You like that, hen? Knowing that my best friend is knuckle deep inside you, fingerfucking you.” Johnny whispered in your ear, planting soft kisses on the underside of your jaw. ”You love this. Knowing that whilst I’m planting kisses here-Simon is worshiping your drenched cunt.”

You bit your lip to stifle the gasps and whines that threatened to escaped, when something else pressed against your lips.

“Open.” Johnny murmured, and you tasted leather. Simon’s glove. “Bite down.” And you did-eyes rolling back as Simon added another finger inside you, stretching you.

“Ain’t that a sight L.T? These beautiful fucking tits, hard and wet, and her face blissed out whilst she has to bite down on your glove.”

You swear you heard Simon groan at the sight, increasing the speed of his hand, as his thumb found your clit again. Your back arched up at the sensation, and you heard him chuckle.

“Squeezing my fingers so fucking tight-you gonna cum? Going to cum on my fucking fingers?” All he got in response was your stifled whines, your gaze still meeting his. It was too much and not enough at the same time-your hips rocked against his hand, and the way his thumb drew circles on your clit had that tight knot inside you tightening, and tightening.

“C’mon lovie-cum for me.”

And all at once you felt that knot unravel-and you were soaring off the cliff. Simon’s hands gripped your shaking thighs, fingerfucking you through your orgasm. “Oh good girl…was that good? Looked so fucking good, didn’t she Johnny?” Simon murmured, planting soft kisses on your inner thighs.

“Looked beautiful hen.”

“Gonna let me fuck you doll?” Simon groaned, pulling his fingers free from your dripping wet pussy. “Gonna let me fuck you senseless, until you can’t even think?”

“Mmph-please Si..-“ You whined around his glove, clenching around nothing. Johnny chuckled, tilting your head up to face him. “Real fucking polite for someone fucking their boyfriends best friend.” He teased, forcing your head to look back at Simon.

You’d imagined a lot about this moment, but what you hadn’t considered was his size. Johnny was big, but Simon was huge. Uncut, and tilting slightly upwards, and perfect.

“God she’s drooling over it L.T.” Your boyfriend cooed, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “Drooling all over that fucking glove.”

Simon crawled up the bed until he was kneeling between your legs, the tip of his cock just ghosting over your pussy. “It’ll hurt for a bit lovie, but I know you can take it. Red and we stop.” His hands gripped your hips, digging into the flesh hard enough you were sure it’d bruise. He was gentle at first-pulling your hips close so he could push in. The moan that escaped around the glove was downright dirty, but you kept your gaze on him.

It took a while, and patience, but he bottomed out inside you, his hips flushed against yours. And the filthy moan that shuddered out of him was incredible.

“Just gonna sit there Simon?” Johnny teased, and was met with a stern glare.

“Recalculating Johnny. Didn’t realise how fucking-Jesus-tight she’d be.” He panted, pulling out nearly completely, before thrusting back in. “And so-so fucking warm.” He gasped, shuddering slightly as he thrust into you once more.

“Taking him so well hen, isn’t she Simon?” Johnny cooed in your ear, his hand resting on your throat.

“So-so fucking good.” Simon uttered back, getting a firmer grip on your hips as he picked up a regular pace.

“Such a good little slut for us, fucking my best friend whilst I watch.”

Simon let out a breathtakingly beautiful moan at that word-his head falling back slightly. “She-she fucking squeezed me Johnny.”

“She likes being a slut, don’t you hen? A little slut that gets fucked.” Your boyfriend chuckled, and Simon picked the pace up.

“Is-is that it? You like being fucked?” Simon groaned, drawing a string of moans to escape your lips as he picked up the pace. “Yeah you do-you love having your boyfriend watch you fuck someone else.”

His fingers found your clit again-and your legs instinctively squeezed around his waist. “Atta-fucking-girl.” Simon growled, the one hand gripping your waist moving to rest just over your collarbones. “Like that? Like having someone tower over you whilst they fuck you into the mattress?” He leaned over you completely, his head resting in the crook of your neck to leave open mouthed kisses.

“Gonna cum again? Gonna cum on my cock-yeah, you are.” His voice was rough in your ear, and you felt that knot tightening in your lower abdomen again. “Squeezing me so fucking tight-God you’re so fucking perfect. Wanted to fuck you for ages.” He shuddered, his rhythm faltering slightly. “Every time I saw you-those fucking eyes. Knew I needed them looking up at me as i f-fucked you.”

“Gon-gonna-“ You whined against the glove, no doubt biting through it at this point. And that was it-that knot unraveled once more, leaving your legs trembling around his waist.

“Gonna cum lovie-gonna fuck-fucking-“ He gasped, quickly pulling out as hot cum splashed onto your lower stomach.

It wasn’t until you heard Johnny’s own shuddering gasp that you realised he’d gotten off on this. How you didn’t consider he maybe liked watching, it was unknown.

“Open.” Simon’s gruff voice sounded next to your ear, cleaning the cum off your stomach with his fingers. You obeyed-and his fingers set on the flat of your tongue. You sucked on his fingers-until he pulled them out, and took the glove off of your chest.

“How’d you feel now Simon?” Your boyfriend teased, earning a tired glare from Simon.

“Should be asking her that. She’s been so fucking good for me.” His eyes bore down into yours as he knelt between your trembling thighs.

“Let’s get you cleaned up hen.” And you were scooped off the bed, your boyfriend carrying you into the en suite bathroom.

————————————————————————-

It was gone ten by the time Simon went home, and you’d ended up curled on the sofa with Johnny. “How was that hen?” He murmured, brushing a piece of hair out of your face.

You hummed, looking up at him. “Do you want to do it again sometime?” You asked your boyfriend, his blue eyes meeting yours.

“I think that can be arranged.”

————————————————————————-

[loganhowlettshousewife]

i want everyone to know that i woke up at 2am and grabbed my phone and typed out the draft version of this, and then promptly fell back asleep. i literally could not remember a word of what i’d written when i woke up. anyway here’s the drabble that came to me in my dreams apparently.

-

logan falls for you, hard. and for once, he’s not afraid of it. he’s dangerous and always hurts those around him, directly or indirectly it doesn’t matter. he hates getting close to people just to watch them get hurt again and again, watch them start to resent him for the bloodshed that seems to follow wherever he goes.

but with you it’s different. you can heal, just like him. you get injured on a mission and the stab wound knits itself back together, the bullet hole closes. you don’t have a single scar on your body; someone who didn’t know any better would think you’d never been through any hardships.

he wakes from a nightmare, claws in your chest, and panics for a moment as he pulls them out, watching your shocked face. but your expression melts into a loving one in a moment, pain receding as quickly as it came, your hand reaching out to cup his face. 

“‘i’m okay,” you tell him, and it’s true. your pretty silk pajama top is ruined, but through the holes in the fabric he can see the smooth skin of your chest, unmarred. the blood remains, a reminder that he’s hurt you, but you just hold him tight until you fall back asleep. 

he watches you and wonders how he got so lucky, how there could be someone so perfectly suited for him. not just in your personality and appearance, because he’s fallen for many people in his two centuries of living, but someone he can’t ever hurt.

his biggest fear, suddenly made irrelevant.

the first time you have sex, you tell him to let go, not to worry, he can’t hurt you. the animal part of him yearns to claim you, violent and intense the way his nature wants him to be. and for once, he can.

he’s close, pounding into you harder, goaded on by your cries of his name. he leans down as if to kiss you but goes for your neck instead, canines sinking into the skin, breaking the surface and drawing blood. he pulls back, licking the blood off his lips, your blood, and that’s the final push you need. your orgasm hits you like a wave, and you clench around logan, who groans and thrusts into you one, two, three more times before coming.

it’s as he’s cleaning you up that he notices something strange. at first he’s confused, and then his stomach drops. you’re not healing. he wipes the remaining blood from your neck, as if when he moves the washcloth away it’ll be gone. it’s not.

you must see it on his face, because you giggle and say, “i wanna keep it. want everyone to know i’m yours.”

and fuck, that does something to him. he’s possessive of those he cares about, but it’s usually treated as an inconvenience, an annoyance. but you love it, you revel in his possessiveness.

“how are you- it’s not healing?” he’s still confused, but secretly pleased. 

“logan,” you whisper, “you know my healing is different from yours, right? i have the power to heal myself and others. it’s not automatic like yours, i can control it.”

he didn’t know that, actually, but he’s glad. because it’s just one more thing about you that makes you perfect in his eyes, more than perfect in fact. you’re choosing not to heal the mark he left on you, claiming you as his. you’re accepting it, accepting logan even with all his flaws and detriments.

you never heal any of the marks that logan gives you. no, those you wear with pride.

[bad268]

Anything for Jenson Button with wife reader during the 24 hours of LeMans races. Thanks!! :))

You're Cute (Jenson Button X Spouse! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/WEC

Requested: Clearly (I love him sm)

Warnings: none

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 940

Summary: The Le Mans is long and tiring.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

“You’re not falling asleep already, are you?” Jenson chuckled as he looked down at your head that was resting heavily against his shoulder. It was going on 11 PM at this point in the Le Mans, and Jenson’s first stint had just ended. He was sitting through the mini debrief before he would be allowed to get some rest with you before his next stint, but it seemed like you were already a step ahead of him as your breathing got heavier throughout their discussion. “You’re not getting old, are you?”

“What a thing to say about your spouse,” You tsked, sitting up and stretching a bit before glaring at Jenson. “And on the eve of my birthday, no less. You really know how to make me feel special. Well, I’ll have you know, you aren’t some spring chicken either, Mr. Button.”

“Never said I was, darling,” He chuckled as the team let him know he was good to go for a few hours. He stood up and held a hand out for you, but you just focused your glare on his hand instead of his face now. “Are you coming with me, or am I going to have to carry you?”

“Well, if you’re offering,” You trailed off with a small smile and an eye roll. Jenson wasted no time and picked you up bridal style immediately, causing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders. “You’re on your way back into my good graces. I would also like to make a request.”

“And what would that be, your highness?” Jenson joked as he walked into the back of the garage to take you to the hospitality suites. There were couches set up for the drivers, so he set you down on one of them as he got changed out of his race suit.

“Can I wear one of your hoodies? I’ve been cold all night, and honestly, I’m not going to want to put in that much effort to get ready for your stint at 3 AM,” You complained as you laid back on the couch, turning your head to watch him change into something comfortable. 

“If you want a hoodie, you can take your pick,” Jenson offered as he held up the two hoodies he brought. To be honest, he knew you were going to end up stealing one, so he made sure to pack your favorite one. He knew he made the right decision when your eyes lit up as they saw your favorite hoodie, and you reached out for it. Jenson chuckled as he walked over to you and helped you put the hoodie on before laying down behind you, holding you closely to his chest. “Are you warming up now?”

“Yeah,” You chuckled, burying your face in the fabric of the hoodie with a smile. “Who did I please in another life to deserve you?”

“I don’t know why every Le Mans makes you say these weird things,” Jenson commented. “I guess we’re both confused, but that’s beyond the point. Go to sleep.”

“What if I’d rather talk to you?” You asked before turning around in his arms so you could face him. “I haven't actually said much to you today because of the race prep, and I missed you. Is it so much to ask to have a conversation with you?”

“We can talk all you want tomorrow when I don’t have to get in a car and drive for 2 hours in a competitive competition,” Jenson deadpanned as he gazed down at you. “I only have 3 hours before I need to be back up and getting in the car, and I just want to sleep, darling.”

“Oh, I see how it is,” you said as you rolled your eyes before closing them and choosing to ignore Jenson.

“Is that all you have to say?” He asked with a smile, thinking he would break you, but you remained unfazed by his attempts. “Are you really ignoring me now?” You still made no move to respond, just shifting your head to rub against his arm that your head rested against. “I’m sorry if that upsets you, but I’m not apologizing for wanting to sleep.”

“Maybe I just wanted to hear you talk,” You finally responded as you relented and opened your eyes to meet his. “Ever think of that?”

“You’re so cute,” Jenson whispered more to himself than to you as he kissed your forehead. Your eyes narrowed immediately.

“I am not cute. I am the opposite of cute. I’m actually very menacing,” You replied, pulling back a little to glare at him.

“You’re really cute when you're tired,” Jenson chuckled again, wrapping his arms tighter around your body and not letting you pull away. “You’re so cute, and you’ll never convince me otherwise. It’s my job to get on your nerves, and I’d say I’m doing a great job.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” You groaned as you dropped your head back down to rest against his shoulder. 

“I would hope so,” Jenson gasped in mock offense, “We haven’t been married for nearly a decade for nothing.”

“Can we go to sleep now?” You sighed with a pout as you tried to get comfortable again. “I want to sleep, but my brain isn’t slowing down enough to sleep.”

“Was that why you wanted me to talk in the first place?” Jenson asked, running a hand down the span of your back in a comforting manner. You nodded slowly, and Jenson, ever the yapper he is, took it into his hands. “Well, let me tell you the entire weekend’s strategies for both teams-”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[dyaz-stories]

hands shaking from holding back from you || Hyun-Su x f!reader

summary: Spring is here, and Hyun-Su offers to take you out on a date, which soon leads to more between the two of you

word count: 3.5k

warnings & tags: some fluff, angst because it's sweet home, kissing, heavy make-out session, gets pretty suggestive but never explicit, monster!hyun-su makes an appearance, the pronoun 'her' is used once in reference to the reader

first one-shot · previous one-shot

A/N: to give a little context, reader and Hyun-Su were in high school together, reader was only there for a year before going to another high school, and therefore has no knowledge of the bullying which hyun-su was a victim of. this one-shot can be read independently (there's nothing intense plot-wise that requires having read the other parts), but I do recommend reading them for context.

There is something strange about spring returning in a forever changed world. It had been so fitting, the apocalypse starting with winter, when everything was dead and desolate. Now, nature is starting to bloom again. The streets should be filled with noise and people, and you should be studying for your exams. Instead, you’re rationing your food, and you haven’t been outside in forever — you don’t need to, now that you have a knight in his torn hoodie to make sure you have everything you need.

Hyun-Su truly is the silver lining in the situation. The only good thing in the world as it is. He’s been more confident around you lately, more at ease. Still, it surprises you when he comes by on a sunny afternoon, and offers, with this soft, cautious voice of his:

“Do you want to go out today?”

 You’re putting away some fresh fruits he picked for you, and you turn around in confusion.

“What do you mean, out?”

‘Outside’ is dangerous. ‘Outside’ is a place you only go when you’re desperate, and you plan as efficiently as possible, to ensure you spend the least amount of time there. ‘Outside’, everything is a threat, and you can only breathe when you’re back at the house.

‘Outside’ regularly takes Hyun-Su from you.

Sure, he’s around a lot more, these days, but he still has to leave every now and then. You’ve come to understand that you’re not the only one who relies on him, but he hasn’t provided an explanation, and you haven’t pried. It burns a little every time he leaves, and yet…

And yet, the fear that he wouldn’t answer if you asked is worse. The fear that he might not come back if you didn’t let it rest. The fear that if he had to choose, he wouldn’t choose you.

“It’s nice out,” he answers, and you notice him retreating even as he’s still speaking. “But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to—”

“No, I’d love to,” you cut him off before he can doubt himself further. “I just— Wouldn’t that be— dangerous?”

“Oh.” He smiles, and it’s mesmerizing. It’s not the bright, joyful smile you were used to seeing, back in high school, but being more subdued doesn’t make it any less genuine. “I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

There’s no cockiness in his voice, just confidence.

“Then… Sure. I’d love to go out with you.” And you’re not usually the type to say that, because you don’t have the guts for it, but you feel comfortable enough with Hyun-Su to lean towards him with a playful smile. “It’s a date then?”

He lets out a brief, surprised laugh, then glances down at his feet while his cheeks and ears turn red.

“Sure. It’s a date.”

Even if you were the instigator, you still feel your face burn at how soft his eyes are when he looks back at you.

He looks at you like you’re one of the seven wonders.

You see him lick his lips as his eyes fall on yours. You could always take the step to fill the distance between the two of you, but Hyun-Su rarely initiates, so you want to give him the chance to do so. When he does, it’s always so soft and so careful, like he’s afraid of breaking you. After a few seconds, he clears his throat, looks away again — and it’s alright. You won’t rush him.

“I’ll go get ready,” you hum, stepping out of the room.

You miss the way Hyun-Su follows you with adoring eyes.

When you emerge back from your room, Hyun-Su is waiting for you, and you follow him, heart rate spiking when you go through the door. Being outside again, without the need to go get some specific and vital item, is— strange. Your eyes dart around you, constantly taking in your surroundings. There are surprisingly few monsters, compared to the chaos that was early winter. In front of you, Hyun-Su walks casually, seemingly without paying much attention to what is happening around him. You trust him, you really do, but there’s you still find it unnerving about that.

When you jump at some faraway sound, that turns out to be just birds flying away, scared by your approach, he offers you his hand, an amused smile on his lips. He might even suppress a laugh, but you can’t tell for sure.

“Is that okay?” he asks you softly as he closes his fingers around yours.

He treats you like you’re made of porcelain.

“It’s much better,” you reply with a smile, even if you feel a little sheepish.

For a second, he stares into your eyes, before he looks away and lets out a deep, long exhale. You don’t question him, just give his hand a squeeze, hoping it comes off as a silent reassurance.

He squeezes back, then pulls you with him as you keep going through the city.

“Is there— Is there nothing here anymore?” you ask. It feels like you should have seen a monster by now.

“They’re here,” Hyun-Su replies casually, like monsters aren’t a death promise. “They just know better than to approach.”

You swallow. You understand what he doesn’t say — they know better than to approach him — but it’s not that much of a reassurance, for you. You quicken your pace to stay closer to him. It says a lot about how far he’s come that he doesn’t jump when your shoulder brushes against his.

“They’re not all dangerous,” he says. You know he intends for it to be reassuring, but all you can do is grimace in response.

“They might not be,” you answer — you remember a flash of wings as an unseen monster ripped the snake-like creature that was trying to enter your home —, “but it’s not like I have a way of knowing which ones are safe and which ones aren’t.”

There’s a long silence as Hyun-Su keeps walking.

“But isn’t that true of humans, too?” he asks you in the end. He sounds so— sad, and yet you don’t know what to tell him to make it better. He’s not like them, you want to assure him. You’d never conflate him with the ones that tried to murder you — but it’s not like you can forget about them altogether either. Being wrong about trusting a monster, being wounded once could sign your end.

“It is,” you reply slowly. It’s especially true in this new world, where humans have dropped all their inhibitions. “I guess it’s just— Humans have been less of danger to me, you know?” A brief laugh. “But it’s not like I’m running after them either, right? I haven’t stepped foot near the shelter.”

Your dad didn’t trust the military, and you’re distrustful of authority. There might be strength in numbers, but you wouldn’t feel safe being surrounded by men with machine guns while you have nothing.

Hyun-Su hums at your answer. It does seem to have brought him some comfort, and yet you feel the need not to leave it at that.

“You know I trust you, right?” He freezes and turns to look at you. “Both sides,” you insist. “I know you’re safe.”

His lips part as if to say something, before he closes them again and his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. Finally, he nods.

“I feel safe with you, too,” he says. The sentence catches you by surprise, almost makes you want to laugh, because— who in their right mind would think you’re a threat? But Hyun-Su says it with such gravitas that you can only assume that there’s something that you don’t know about under there. Truth be told, there’s a lot you haven’t talked about with him. He’s not talkative, not anymore at least, and it’s hard to know which questions you can ask before reaching a painful subject. And there are countless of these, for everyone, since the Apocalypse hit. “Come on,” he adds after a few seconds. “We’re almost there.”

He pulls you towards a half-broken down outside staircase. You can’t make your way up on your own, so he grabs you by the hips to help you up, and you let out a surprised yelp when strong hands pull you close to him, his chest against your back, to lift you up. Immediately, his body tenses up and he stills, which means you’re all too aware of how close he is now, of his breath on your neck and his body against yours.

“Sorry,” he says. “Is that okay?”

Gosh, he’s sweet to ask, but you’re really happy he cannot see your expression right now.

“It’s fine,” you squeak, “just caught me off guard. Don’t worry about it.”

He seems to hesitate for a second, and oh, you’re so aware of his fingers on your hips, before he lifts you up as if you weighed nothing, first on his shoulder, then easily higher, so you can grab the bottom of the staircase.

“All good?” he asks once you’re up there.

“All good! Do you need—”

But he’s made his way up before you can finish your sentence, and you blink. Right. Some people are athletic.

“Go ahead,” he says, gesturing towards the stairs. “I’ll catch you if anything goes wrong.”

It shouldn’t feel reassuring, should make you think that you’re at risk, but you meant it when you said you trusted him. Knowing he’s there to watch over you… It’s like having your own personal guardian angel.

There are no issues, however, and you soon arrive on the rooftop — which takes your breath away. This had to have belonged to someone with money, because there is a whole garden there. Overgrown grass, flowers, and even a few trees. Birds are chirping, and it feels… Well, it feels like the kind of places you’d go to laze around on a sunny afternoon with your friends, like an actual park. Being secluded and high up, it is however much safer than any park you could actually go to now. When you turn around, you’re met with an impressive view of the city. It looks peaceful from up here, just a quiet spring day.

Then you notice that Hyun-Su is staring at you, and what you see takes your breath away. He’s smiling. Actually smiling. Wide and bright.

You’re quick to look away, embarrassed by the emotions you’re sure are obvious on your face. Tilting your head up, you let yourself receive the sun.

It’s been a long time since you’ve been this happy.

Hyun-Su often feels that, when he’s with you, all he can do is stare. He likes watching you when you’re at home, going about your day in the house, or sitting by a window and reading. It makes him feel so— welcome, knowing that he can just be there, with you, and that you’ll never mind his presence, never ask him to leave.

Never ignore him and pretend he doesn’t exist.

It makes him feel like he belongs, being around you, makes him feel at peace.

Or, at least, it did, because the emotions swirling under his skin right now are much more complex than they used to be.

He met you, or met you again, in the winter, when you were bundled up under coats and scarves and layers upon layers of clothes. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed the change in your wardrobe lately.

It makes sense, of course. Days are getting warmer. Not only is there no need for you to keep wearing pullovers and disappear into huge coats. But the way your clothes are hugging your body these days, how they accentuate your curves, how your t-shirt rides up to reveal the skin of your stomach…

He can’t say that it makes it more difficult to be around you, because he doesn’t think that anything could do that. You make him feel like he can breathe again, like he’s finally coming up to the surface after spending ages lost in dark waters, not knowing which way was up and which way was down. It’s just that it— takes a lot of place in his mind.

He can already barely stop thinking about you as it is, knows that the Kid and Yi-Kyung have noticed already how his mind always seems to wander away from them. This, though, this is a whole other can of worms. Because he doesn’t know how to act about it. Doesn’t know how you’d feel if you knew. Doesn’t know if you’d look at him with pity, if you’d tell him you never want to see him again, if it would disgust you.

Yet, no matter how much he tries to stop himself, he always comes back to staring. You tilt your head up towards the sky, close your eyes.

You’re beautiful.

If he was another man, he’d walk up to you to wrap his arms around you, he’d whisper something in your ear, he’d kiss you.

Just as the thought crosses his mind, his leg twitches. It takes him a second to understand that it’s not just an involuntary muscle reaction. Inside him, the monster is swelling, clawing its way up towards the surface.

If you don’t do something about this, I will, it whispers inside him. And let’s be honest, maybe that would be for the best, because what could you do? At least I wouldn’t be afraid to touch her.

Hyun-Su tries his best to force it back down, to ignore the sting of the words, but the monster refuses to let up. Finally, he takes a step in your direction, then another. The closer he is to you, the less the monster puts up a fight — but it still refuses to go down completely.

You turn to look at him when he reaches you, tilting your head in quiet questioning.

Hyun-Su feels himself lifting his hand to touch your cheek, and it’s so spontaneous, so natural that he can’t really say who’s in control there. Your skin is soft under his, and as he leans in to kiss you, he cannot forget how fragile you are compared to him. How one wrong surge from the creature he harbors inside himself could end it all, how careful he needs to be.

And, when his lips brush against yours and you kiss him back without hesitation, he’s reminded of how you either don’t know that or don’t care.

There must be something in the air, because without thinking, his hand comes to your waist, then the small of your back, pulling you close to him. Again, he can’t tell if it’s the monster making its own decision, or if it’s just natural and he’s just doing what he truly wants to do. Both thoughts are worrying.

But you’re not aware of all the questions going on his mind, and all you do is tilt your head up to give him better access to your mouth — and it makes his pulse rush and his mind goes haywire.

Normally, he’d know better. Right now, he feels your hands, trapped against his chest, gripping his hoodie and pulling him down towards you, just a little closer, because there isn’t much space left between the two of you anyway.

He tilts you back now, still without thinking — there isn’t enough space for that in his mind at this moment, not when it’s so filled with you you you — hands firmly holding you against him. His tongue pushes against your lips, and you part them almost immediately, welcoming him in your mouth. His blood is pumping, his whole body feels scorching hot, and you’re right there, running your fingers along his jaw and over his neck, leaving burning trails everywhere you touch.

His tongue intertwines with yours and he feels, more than he hears, you whimper into him.

Immediately, a sense of urgency forces him to pull back. One second, he’s pressed against yours, the next, he’s taken two steps back, and your eyes open in confusion.

“Are you okay?’ he asks, searching for a way he’s hurt you, anything indicating that something’s wrong. But all he finds is swollen lips that you press together as you glance away from him.

“Um, yeah, everything’s fine,” you mumble, and it takes an embarrassingly long time for him to understand what kind of noise that was.

Oh.

Oh.

He’s immediately desperate to hear it again.

He brings you back against him to kiss you once more, and there it is, coming from the back of your throat.

He’s not sure what happens, who initiates what, if he’s in control at all, but soon he knows that your back is against the grass, and he’s above you, kissing you just as fiercely. Your hands are wandering now — his shoulders, first, then his arms, then tracing the muscles of his chest and down to his abs. He wants to respond in kind, wants so badly to feel you, but the second he moves his hands, fear assaults him again.

“Is that—” He breaks the kiss to look at you in worry. “Is that okay?”

He illustrates the question with the softest of touch on your skin. You let out a brief laugh — not a mocking one, though.

“You really don’t have to keep asking that,” you say, and your eyes are adoring. Then, when he stays still, you push yourself on your elbows to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. Then his jaw. Then his neck.

Hyun-Su can only stay there, frozen in bliss, as you pepper his skin with kisses. Finally, as you’re reaching his collarbone, you take his hand in yours to bring it back on your body, and then you lie back down, allowing him to take the lead now.

His hand is shaking as he slides it under your t-shirt, all of his senses overwhelmed with need. He wants you so bad, he has a hard time understanding it. Kissing you is familiar. The way your body arches against yours, pushing into his touch— isn’t. His immediate want for more, more of the sounds you make, more of your body, more of you, that is all new, too.

He feels feverish as he mirrors your previous actions, kissing down your neck and lingering in one spot when he discovers it makes you whimper. Now that you’re not muffled with his mouth, your sounds echo louder, and they’re music to his ears, in a way that fuels the fire you’ve lit inside him. His hips press down into you, and a jolt of pleasure jolts through him, which when he realizes that he’s—

He tears himself away from you for the second time, stumbling back to end up just a couple meters away from you.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, “sorry about that.”

You sit up, looking a little confused.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly.

It’s his line, and it takes him a while to piece together what you could mean by that. It’s not like there’s any way for you to hurt him. If anything, you should be disgusted by him. There’s no way you didn’t feel him, which means you know he’s hard. But you’re just looking at him in concern.

“Sorry,” he repeats. “I shouldn’t— I shouldn’t have—”

“Hyun-Su,” you call gently as you scoot over towards him. “It’s all good. I didn’t— um— I didn’t mind. But we— we can stop here for now, if you’d rather.”

Inside him, the monster protests vaguely, but this time Hyun-Su has no issue sending it back to the abyss it came from. He’s overwhelmed, heart beating erratically, and he doesn’t know what would happen if things kept going. He wasn’t in control, not really, and he— he can’t risk it. Not with you.

“Sorry,” he repeats, feeling miserable.

Slowly, you put your arms around him. There’s nothing suggestive about it. You’re just doing your best to bring him comfort.

“It’s okay,” you whisper. Your fingers run gently through his hair in appeasing motions. He rests his head against your shoulder.

He’s not alone.

You’re just there, talking to him, touching him, right against him. You’re not doing anything to move away, not looking at him like he’s some mistake, and it feels like his heart is trying to jump out of his chest.

“Thank you,” he mumbles.

Your fingers still for a moment, before you go back to your ministrations.

“For what?”

And, God, the fact that you don’t even know, that you don’t even realize everything you’re doing, everything you’ve done for him since that first day when you spotted him in the street and ran after him…

He draws in a trembling breath.

“Thank you,” he just repeats.

You don’t ask any more questions, just keep gently playing with his hair.

The sky’s blue, the birds are singing, the town is quiet. It’s just you and him, sitting in the grass, on the rooftop.

If someone were to miraculously pass by and see the two of you there, they’d probably think that you were, indeed, on a date.

okay, I hope you're enjoying this little series! I'm not sure what I'll work on next. i know i'm eventually going to write smut for them, though it's going to be very soft because... well it has to be between them lol. someone has also said they wanted to see them tackle the world together a bit more, so I'm also thinking about writing a one-shot where they meet ha-ni and ho-sang, because i thought that ho-sang's intense dislike for hyun-su could imply they've met before. anyway, yeah, i have a couple different ideas.

i would really appreciate it if you left a comment, whether here, in the tags or in a reblog, and tell me anything you're liking in this series! interactions really motivate me and keep me writing :)

next one-shot

[miabebe]

Camp Seventeen: Chapter 4

Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13

Word count - 17.5K

Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut, fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up! Warnings below the cut

Previous chapter

Chapter summary - As many truths come forth, life on camp as you know it begins to change. After living a life which was never your choice, you now had to choose between family and love. But more importantly, would they choose you?

A/n - I do have a taglist so comment on this post to be added! This is yet another heavy chapter, I tried to put as much as I could to make up for all the time this took :( I'm so sorry and I hope you have fun reading <3

Thanks again to the loml @monamipencil for all the time she so sweetly takes out for me T.T

Warnings - as usual, to be added after a week.

“Please….” 

It was the only thing ringing in your head, your fingers tightening their grip in Seungcheol’s dark mane as his mouth refused to leave yours, like it was the only thing keeping him alive. 

Why now? What changed? 

The thought ran in the back of your mind as Seungcheol let out a soft groan, his teeth sinking into your lower lip as he pulled back just a little, just enough to breathe but you lurched for his mouth again. It didn’t matter why, all that mattered was that this was finally happening and you didn’t want it to stop. 

Mirroring your desperation, he sat you on the hood of his car, freeing his hands to push the hair away from your face and hold it surprisingly delicately, like he couldn’t believe he was really kissing you. It felt like he was conflicted between wanting to look at you and wanting to devour you but when you wrapped your legs around his waist, he chose the latter. 

At least it seemed like it until your hand slipped between your bodies, reaching for the button of his pants and Seungcheol pulled back with a jerk, like he had been electrocuted. 

“Oh…” You drew your hands back quickly. “I thought you wanted to….” 

“I uh…” He looked around, pushing his hair back. “Y/n, we are out in the open…” 

Yeah but in the middle of fucking nowhere, with not a soul in sight. 

But of course. 

It wasn’t the location that was the problem, it was him. You should have seen this coming, you should have known that with every step Seungcheol took forward, he took two back. 

Scoffing, you slid off the car, tucking your hair behind your ears, trying not to let how disappointed you were show on your face. Seungcheol glanced at you, gulping audibly. 

“Y/n I…” 

“I don’t even know why I keep falling for this-” 

“Please…” 

“What does that word even mean anymore Seungcheol?” You raised your hands in defeat, ready to walk away. “I don’t want to know, I don’t want to hear it-”

Grabbing the back of your neck, Seungcheol pulled you up against him again, mouth hot on yours. When you tried to push him away, he didn’t let go, pressing his forehead against yours, breathing in all that tension between the two of you. 

“Let me go.” You tried to free yourself. “Choi Seungcheol-” 

“I don’t think you can even begin to fathom just how much I want you…. how much I want this.” He groaned. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to hold you like this.” 

You frowned, pulling back. “Why, because of the force field?” 

Seungcheol shook his head, “No- I mean yeah, that was one reason, I still don’t know you’re unaffected but thank heavens-” He looked at you intently. “- staying away from you has been excruciatingly painful.” 

“Then why?” You wrapped your hands around his wrists, hoping he wouldn’t let go like always. “Why are you staying away from me Cheol? Why can’t we-” 

“Do you want this?” He whispered like he was unsure and you blinked at him, just a little surprised. “Right here, right now, do you-” 

“Choi Seungcheol, for a man this big, your brain really is the size of a pea.” Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. “I’ve wanted this since the moment I set foot in camp and my eyes on you-” 

“Then fuck everything else,” With a swift movement he spun you around, the shriek of surprise lost in your throat, your palms finding the hood of the car. Seungcheol did not wait for you to even process what was happening - pushing your hair over your shoulder, his hands quickly worked the strings of your armor behind, mouth by your ear. “I want you and I don’t care who’s watching.” 

Before you can ask him who the fuck could possibly be watching the two of you, he let out what seemed to be a frustrated groan at the complexity of the lace. You were just about to undo it yourself when he reached for the dagger strapped to your waist and with a swift movement, ran it across the strings, slicing them open. 

“Cheol what-” You whined. “How am I supposed to wear this again?” 

“Armour is for protection.” He slid the bronze plates off your torso, dropping them to the ground as you turned to face him again. “And that’s what I’m here for. I got you.” 

Grinning, you grabbed its twin blade and mirrored his actions, undoing the knotted strings on his shoulders, freeing him of his gear. Taking a momentary step back, the two of you quickly got rid of the various metallic appendages and weapons lodged everywhere, dropping them onto the forest floor and you were barely done when Seungcheol pulled you towards him, kissing you again. 

It was different now, slower, deeper, more relieved but somehow more electrifying - you could feel your boobs up against the hard muscles of his chest, his fingers found the sliver of skin between your top and pants, pressing into it and your hands gripped around his biceps, nails digging in.

For some reason you suddenly realised, that though in the last 3 days you had been with 3 different men, Seungcheol was the first one that it genuinely felt intimate with, the first one you had even kissed, nevermind with such passion. And god did you want to keep kissing him but the memory of Dionysus's dildo ran in your mind and hell could empty all its devils here and you wouldn't care. You just wanted him deep inside you. 

This time, when your hand found the button of his pants again, Seungcheol didn’t stop you, moaning into your mouth instead. Just as you unzipped it, he quickly slid them off, the fabric pooling at his feet and your hands moved to their next target, his shirt. 

“Wanna see you too.” He kissed you along your jawline, playing with the hem of your shirt. 

You laughed softly, working the buttons, “Then take it off.” 

“Then I'll have to stop this.” He continued the trail of kisses down to your neck. “And I don't want to.” 

Smiling to yourself you undid the last button, pushing the fabric aside, thanking the universe that today Seungcheol went commando in his pants. As his lips found your shoulder, your eyes caught Seungcheol’s dick, already familiar with exactly how it looked but the real one was so much better. He was unbearably hard, hissing when you wrapped your hand around the base.

“Better than you imagined?” He sounded cocky when you began stroking his length, letting out a soft sigh. 

“What makes you think I imagined it?”  

Seungcheol chuckled. “Baby, there's only a wall between our rooms which mind you, is really thin. I've heard you take my name before.”

You froze as his hands gripped your waist tighter. 

“Faster cheol, harder cheol, Right there cheol…. I heard it all.” 

Okay yeah, there were days you had indeed slid your fingers in and out, imagining it was him ravaging you but why didn't your stupid ass ever doubt if he could hear it??

‘You sounded like I was doing a good job.” He smiled against your skin. 

“You mean I was doing a job.” 

Getting yourself off was not new to you. You didn't really have any boyfriends but the handful of people you had slept with in your life were disappointing to say the least, devastatingly incapable of making you feel any pleasure. Of course after Soonyoung revealed that demigods could not be satisfied by mortals, it made sense why your own hands and toys were the only ones that could make you cum. You had to admit though, getting off to the thought of Seungcheol fucking you into his large white bed gave you some of the best orgasms you ever had. He didn't need to know that. The way he was smiling at the memory of you moaning his name had inflated his ego enough. 

“Oh you were doing a good job?” He detached his mouth from you at last, drawing back, eyes scouring your face. “Why don't you let me see this time?” 

As he kicked his pants off and took a step back then another, you looked at him in disbelief. 

“You want me to imagine you fucking me when you're standing right in front of me-” You ran your eyes down his body covered only by his shirt hanging off his shoulders. “-looking like that?” 

Seungcheol nodded. “Lean against the car and spread your legs for me baby.” 

“Cheol-” 

“Do it Y/n.”

“But-”

“That's a command soldier.’ 

This asshole. Of course Choi Seungcheol made use of hierarchy during sex. 

“Yes Chief.” 

Rolling your eyes you pulled your pants down your legs, tossing them to join your gear on the forest floor. Your panties were slick with arousal, uncomfortably sticking to you, the dark wet spot only getting larger. Eyes flickering down between your legs, Seungcheol clasped his hands behind his back standing at ease, the way he did when he oversaw morning training. 

“So you're just going to watch?” You licked your drying lips. “Are you not even going to touch yourself?” 

If you did, it was only fair that he did too.

But Seungcheol shook his head. “I'm yours to do whatever.” 

God did you want to throw your arms around him and pull him into another kiss but he seemed so damn insistent that you put on a show. Fine, if that's what he wants, you'll give it to him. 

You ran your fingers over your wet panties, sighing at the way a sudden jolt ran down your body when they grazed your clit. You were only just about to push the fabric to the side and slide your fingers into your pretty wet hole when you felt a familiar twist in the pits of your stomach. Surprised, you found yourself almost buckling forward, hands quickly gripped the car behind you trying to find balance as the coil tightened, building the feeling inside. Legs shaking, you attempted to squeeze them and chase the feeling when in a flash Seungcheol was inches away from you, his hand holding your legs apart, shaking his head. 

Shutting your eyes, you threw your head back, your entire being almost convulsing as your organsm hit you hard and you came with a not so soft moan. 

As you tried to catch the breath you hadn't taken all this while, Seungcheol leaned closed, whispering in your ear. 

“Still think it was you who did a good job?” 

Eyes widening, you looked at him, lips parted in shock. 

“You mean that was… that you…” 

Seungcheol chuckled, moving his hand closer to your core, letting his fingers graze your even more wet panties. 

“An orgasm is caused by nerves and nerves carry electric impulses.” Given your frown, he continued. “I'm the Son of Zeus, anything with electric tendencies is under my control.” 

That meant all those days, sitting on the other side of the wall, Seungcheol had made you cum untouched. 

‘Did that feel good?” He whispered as your breath slowly came back to normal, his hand pushing the fabric of your underwear, his finger running between your folds, feeling how wet you were. “Looks like it did.” 

You nodded slowly. 

“Now it's my turn.” And without a warning, he slipped two fingers into your hole, as your hands flew to grip his biceps. “but I'll need to prep you first baby.”

Oh you knew.

While his fingers pumped in and out of you, you pulled Seungcheol closer by the collar of his shirt, kissing him, hands trailing up into his thick hair. You didn't know obscenely kissing someone like this out in the open while his fingers stretched you open could feel this arousing. You didn't think it could get any better until Seungcheol broke away, whispering into your ear, “I'm going to fuck you now.”

A shudder ran down your body and a shriek left your mouth as Seungcheol spun you around once again, your palms finding the hood of the car the balance over but this time, you could feel his erection against your ass. Wasting no time, he lined his tip against your hole, slowly sinking in, both of your moans matching with the same relief, the same arousal. Choi Seungcheol was fucking you at last. 

Pushing all the way till the hilt, Seungcheol pulled back, gripping your wrist tight but thrusting into you slowly. You couldn't tell if he was being gentle or savoring it - you just needed him up in your guts. 

“Cheol.” You breathed, making him lean over to hear you. “Didn't you hear me in your house? I like hard and fast.” 

Chuckling, Seungcheol picked up the pace, snapping his hip into yours, the impact surely bruising where your skin grazed the car. You could tell he was still controlling himself, holding back like he was afraid of breaking you. 

“And rough.” You added and that seemed to do the trick. 

Letting out a groan, his hand immediately found the nape of your neck, pushing you down onto the hood, devoid of all the prior gentleness. Despite your whole upper body being pressed against cold metal, you smiled to yourself and as if he could not get enough, Seungcheol gathered both your wrists with his free hand and pinned them to your lower back, fucking you like an animal in the jungle. 

Hell yes. God yes you wanted this and the way he felt was so much better than you thought, his dick eventually finding all the right spots, making you feel so full of him. Oh you couldn't wait to have him fill you but before that, you felt your orgasm approaching, everything in your stomach tightening again. 

“Fuck, I'm….” You struggled to speak with the way your cheek was pressed against the hood. “I…”

Sliding his hand from the nape to wrap your neck, Seungcheol pulled you back up against him, hips not stopping their thrusts even for a moment. 

“What is it baby? Gonna cum for me?” 

You nodded, feeling your walls fluttering around his length, hands desperately trying to hold on to anything.

“Good girl.” He whispered, bringing the hand on your waist to your clit and almost instantly you could feel yourself coming, tightening around him like a vice. 

“That's it.” Seungcheol groaned, slowing down his pace as your walls clamped around him. “That's it baby, you did so good.” 

“Cheol….” You whispered, finding your breath again, barely down from your high, legs still trembling. “I wanna feel full of you.” 

Clearly he was just as desperate to come inside you because all of a sudden, the man who seemed like he had unending stamina was losing his rhythm. You tightened your walls around him, squeezing his length when it was deep inside you, arching your back to help him reach further in. He had just about given you what you were dying to have when out of no fucking where, you heard Jeonghan saying Seungcheol’s name. 

The latter instantly halted his actions, looking around just as panicked as you until the call of his name again made him realise where it was coming from. The looking glass. 

Whispering a sorry against your ear, Seungcheol pulled out slowly, leaving you unclenching around  nothing as you felt your arousal leak down your thigh filthily. 

What the hell?? 

Seungcheol rummaged through the discarded gear, pulling his looking glass, being careful to show only his face given neck down, he was an absolute mess. 

“Han.” 

“Cheol, what's your status quo?”

Groaning you pulled your panties back into place. Evidently this was not going to be a short conversation.

“We uh, just reached the forest.” 

“Just? Shouldn't you have reached an hour ago?” 

Seungcheol looked at you guiltily but continued nevertheless. “Y/n messed up reading the map so we had to take a longer route.” 

You raised your eyebrows. Oh, he was playing dirty. Then you could too. 

Walking up to him, you dropped to your knees, taking Seungcheol’s pretty cock in your hands, his eyes widening. On the other hand Jeonghan, oblivious to it all, went on. 

“Okay, Jihoon and Hansol scoured their woods already, there's no traces of the monster there. Negative for Joshua and I too. We haven't heard from Seokmin and Chan though, I assume Min's pegasus is giving him a tough time. What about you?” 

You had no idea if Seungcheol was listening to him or pretending to, because all this while, you had been very silently and very skillfully,  sucking his dick. 

“Cheol?” 

“Yeah.” He tore his eyes away from you with much difficulty, turning to his friend. “I uh… I don't know yet, I mean, we haven't tried to track it yet, w-we just r-reached.” 

You smiled at his stuttering words, knowing he was close. 

“Okay but be careful. My gut feeling is that it's in the Nyx forest. What better place for a monster to thrive right?” 

“Fuck-” Cheol muttered as your teeth grazed him accidently, as you quickly pulled back, looking apologetic. 

“Cheol, is everything okay?” 

“Yeah just Y/n ....almost fell.” He gulped, turning to Jeonghan. “Yeah I got it, we'll be careful and I'll let you know if there's any developments.” 

“Alright and-” 

Before he could complete, Seungcheol tossed the glass onto the gear pile and gripped your chin, holding it as he pushed his length further into your mouth. 

“What a brat.” He groaned, feeling his tip hit the back of your throat. “What if Jeonghan found out?”

You couldn't care less. All you cared about was how deep could you possibly take Seungcheol, relaxing your throat as he pushed in. 

“F-fuck.” He muttered, quickly pulling out, jerking off his length. “Open wide.” 

And you did, sticking your tongue out just in time to feel spurts of his cum coat it messily, spilling onto your lips and out of the corner of your mouth. 

Without waiting for you to swallow, Seungcheol pulled you up to your feet, kissing you again, unbothered about tasting himself. 

“I'll get you some water.” He dropped a kiss on your forehead before quickly going to the car and reaching for the bottle. As you drank, mouth and throat dry and sore, Seungcheol hurriedly began buttoning his shirt again. 

Wait, that's it? 

“Cheol.” He glanced at you questioningly. “What are you…” 

“Jeonghan thinks the Chimaera is most definitely here.” He held your pants out by your feet, prompting you to put your feet in. You complied, still confused. “We should try to track it as soon as possible.” 

“Seungcheol we just….” You sighed, dropping the bottle on the forest floor. “We just had sex after days of behaving like we cannot bear each other, don't you think we need to talk?” 

“We do.” He nodded seriously, doing your button. “And we will. Just not now, at the right time-” 

“What right time?!” You stepped away from him, anger coursing through you. “After leaving me confused for days, after fucking me in the middle of nowhere, you don't think I deserve an explanation?” 

“You do Y/n and I will tell you everything but we just need to find the monster first. It's dangerous-” 

“Did you not realise that when you had your dick inside me??” You looked at him incredulously. “How is that we had the time to have sex, but not to have a discussion-”

“Enough.” Seungcheol’s voice was hard and urgent. ‘I cannot keep repeating the same thing again Y/n. Yes, you deserve an explanation and yes we will talk, just. not. now. Now, we need to find the monster.” 

“But Cheol-” 

“Y/n stop.”

“I just want to-” 

“That's a command, soldier.” 

Taken aback you blinked at him, processing his words.  

“Yes chief.” 

And with that you turned and walked away into the woods, ignoring his voice calling out to you and letting the darkness of the forest consume you.

You had no idea how long or how deep into the forest you had ventured - you just needed to get away from Seungcheol as soon as possible. You knew he would have followed if he had managed to get his pants on in time but you had disappeared into the darkness before he could. In hindsight maybe that wasn't the best idea because the forest was barely visible despite your extremely sharp eyesight, and though you had your energy reader on you, hanging around your neck, you couldn't use it. You didn't feel warmth. 

“This isn't the kind of forest you roam alone in, sweet summer child.”

Holding back a shriek you turned around, shocked by a presence in this dark forest. All you could see was the silhouette of a tall lanky man, leaning against the thick trunk of a tree, only half his face illuminated by the small fire burning by his feet. His features looked royal, as though even without the light, he'd still shine all the same. You couldn’t see his eyes though - they were hidden behind black sunglasses which seemed rather unnecessary given the surroundings. The theme of black continued in his attire - a soft black fur jacket thrown over a black shirt and black slacks, accents of white, green and gold, littered all over. The most noticeable thing about him was perhaps his hair - streaks of red and grey in spiky black hair. Strangely he looked both old and young at the same time, almost timeless. 

“You’re alone.” You pointed out. 

“I’m an adult.”

“More like ancient.” You muttered to yourself but the man seemed to have heard it somehow. 

“Ancient?” He chuckled. “I suppose I should be offended but that's an understatement.” 

You frowned, not quite understanding. 

“Don't rack your brain sweetheart. I've already figured out that you're not too bright considering, you know, the little show you put up earlier.”

You felt your jaw hang, cheeks burning up. What the fuck- 

“And before you ask, ew no, I wasn't watching - I'd rather burn in Tartarus than watch that tragedy.” He rolled his eyes, looking disgusted. “But this is Nyx's forest and everything here talks….”

A whole damn forest was watching you and Seungcheol have sex?? You wanted to throw up, throw a fit and throw something at this man, all at once. Overwhelmed by everything, you held your head, trying to sort out the overload of information.

“First of all, who the hell are you…..” 

“Goodness be damned, you're really dumber than I thought.” He walked up, closer to the fire, his features much more clear in the light. “I’m what you’re looking for.” 

You looked him up and down. 

“I’m not looking for a boomer with a fashion crisis.” 

The man burst out laughing, looking away, shoulders shaking. “You’re funny darling, not everyone can joke in the face of danger.” 

“I’m not joking.” You rolled your eyes. “And clearly, you’re not dangerous. If you were, you wouldn’t be wasting your time with a conversation, darling.” 

He smiled. 

“The conversation is courtesy of the fact that you are also what I am looking for.” Taking a step forward, he inched closer. “I'm Chimaera.” 

You blinked at him once. 

Then twice.

Then snickered. 

What bullshit. 

You had read up about the monster on your way here - it was supposedly a weird mix of a lion, a goat and a snake that also happened to breathe fire. This… this was a man? And a man who was clearly fooling you for whatever reason.

“Oh yeah?” You crossed your arms. “Then I'm actually Zeus, King of the Gods-”

“I forget how little you know about this world sweetheart.” He scoffed, taking the glasses off and tucking them inside his jacket. 

You felt your whole body freeze. His eyes….they had slits, like a snake. 

“Did you really think I could live amongst mortals looking like a genetic experiment gone catastrophically wrong? Obviously I have a human form.” 

You hesitated, gulping, realising that regardless of whether this man was indeed the Chimaera, you, like an idiot, were both unarmed and unprotected. 

“What? Still don’t believe me?” He cocked his head. “Oh sweetheart.” 

He waved his hand and the flames of the campfire rose, dancing and wrapping around him. You watched as he smiled at you, the fire not leaving a single mark on his skin, as though it didn’t burn him at all. Finally, the glowing bright orange ran up his neck and disappeared into his mouth. 

The fire breather. You took a step back and then another. Fuck, fuck, fuck- 

“Don't tell me you're also stupid enough to run.” He clicked his tongue. “You may be powerful but you’re no match for me. Besides,” He walked up, taking the help of a dapper looking walking stick that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. “I only want to talk.” 

“W-with me?” You stuttered. “About what?” 

“Do you really not know?” 

You did. A tiny voice in your head spoke for you - Fire. 

Your fire. He knew about it. 

“How do you know?” 

“Why wouldn’t I know darling?” He smiled at you in a way that was both sweet and sinister. “Daddy knows everything.” 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“That didn’t come out right.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as you looked at him with a mix of confusion, fear and disgust. “What I meant is, I know your fire because it’s mine Y/n….. I’m your father.”

Somewhere far off, thunder rumbled across the sky, filling the silence. There was a storm coming but it was no match for the one already going on inside you. The time for humour was over.

You had already been on the edge of tolerance with Hestia ignoring you all these days and now, to hear such a vile joke about your parentage from a monster was just plain evil. You knew Jeonghan said you weren’t to face the creature on your own but god were you ready to annihilate it. 

“Shut up.” You spoke between gritted teeth. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do but-” 

“You don’t believe me.” The Chimaera chuckled. “Sit down Y/n, you are in terrible need of a crash course.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Sit.” 

“No.” You crossed your arms, repeating your question. “What, do you mean?” 

The man sighed, leaning against a nearby tree. 

“Did you think gods are the only ones who can mate with mortals?” He shook his head. “Monsters can too, darling. In fact, most mortals are our children.” 

You felt a chill run down your spine. 

“Of course unlike you god spawn they don’t carry our powers but our nature? Oh the desire to wreak havoc, to cause chaos, they do inherit that. Every thief, every killer, every arsonist,” He smiled at you but it didn’t reach his eyes. “They’re all our offspring.” 

The flames of the campfire rose higher, burning brighter, drawing out a memory you had been trying your best to forget. 

“I cannot be your child.” You muttered, heart racing in your chest. “That’s not possible…” 

“Is it that difficult to believe?” He raised an eyebrow. “You could always tell you were different. You never felt like you belonged. Your powers, they’re unlike the others, so brilliant.” His eyes gleamed. “It’s because you’re mine.” 

You felt your guts twist. A half monster. That’s what he was calling you. 

“Look at us Y/n.” He stuck his hand out, the flames coming to life in his hand. “Look at me and tell me we aren’t the same-” 

“No we’re not.” You looked at him defiantly. “I may be hostile and unwelcoming and guarded and a lot of other things but I’m not a bad person….. I’m not evil.” 

“Really?” He chuckled. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” 

You glared at him. 

“Denying the truth and suppressing the memories - they won’t change what happened Y/n.” He stepped forward, the slits in his eyes narrowing. “They won’t change the fact that you almost killed someone.” 

No.

No. 

No. 

“And not just anyone, a five year old child, a child a family entrusted you to look after.”

“Enough.” You spoke between gritted teeth. 

“All because he spoke a few harsh truths to your face-” 

“I said enough.” 

But he didn’t stop. 

“You got so angry, you unleashed your powers, burnt down the house and nearly killed that child.” 

“That’s not true-” 

“But it is!” He snarled, raising his voice as the fire around him rose to life, crawling towards you on the forest floor. The amusement in his voice was replaced with something darker, something more menacing. “If the firefighters hadn’t come on time, that child would have died…. All because you didn’t like what he said.” 

“He said I deserved to be alone!” You finally snapped, something hot searing through your veins. “He said my parents abandoned me because I was not good enough for them!” 

The memory finally flashed in your head again, fresh as day. 

For almost a year now, you had been taking on a side job of babysitting kids for rich parents who needed to get away for their late night dates and parties. Usually it was a piece of cake - most kids were already tired from playing the whole day so all you had to do was ensure they finished their food and went to sleep. After that you simply worked on your assignments or flipped through the book collections on the shelves or the channels on the tv, waiting to be relieved of your duties. 

It was just another night like that, another rich family, another big house in the suburb but this time, it was the most uncooperative child you had ever encountered. You had a buttload of work to do that day, your pencils and papers scattered all over the dining table once that little devil had gone to his room to sleep but for some fucking reason, he kept waking up. You could tell he was spoilt, demanding to eat candy at freaking 10pm, secretly drinking soft drinks from the fridge, throwing his toys all over. You had been patient with him for a long time, much beyond your capacity really but when he spilled a bottle full of sauce on a project you had spent hours working on, you raised your voice. 

You expected him to cry and that you’d have to apologise, calm him and put him to sleep, instead, he sneered at you.

He simply shrugged and asked why you were being such a pain in the ass. As though it wasn’t shocking enough to hear such a statement from a child, he went on to ask how your parents handled someone as uptight as you. When you retorted that you didn’t have any parents, he said two words that still haunted you - “No wonder.”

By now you had already reached your limit but when he added that they must have left you because you were so insufferable, something inside you snapped. One minute you were the angriest you had ever been and in the next, there was fire and screams everywhere. 

His cries rang in your ears as you shut them hard trying to block it. The Chimaera’s snickers were what took over instead. 

“Stop trying to run away from what you did-” 

“That was an accident.” You shook your head hard. “That wasn’t on purpose, I didn’t want to hurt him-” 

“Is it?” He raised an eyebrow. “Then why does no one in your precious camp know this story Y/n? The parents sued you, you spent a few nights in jail for arson, in a few days time you are to appear in front of a jury to plead your case yet your lawyer doesn't know a thing that happened - no one can figure out how the fire started and you won’t tell them. You don’t want to tell them because that would mean admitting that you’re different, that you’re not one of them, that you always were and are a loner.” 

You wanted to deny it, just like when Wonwoo was exposing you like this. You wanted to scream and shout and tell this horrible creature it was wrong but words couldn’t leave your mouth - in the face of truth, one often fell silent. 

“But you don’t have to be alone Y/n.” The Chimaera stepped forward, his demeanor suddenly switching from accusatory to sympathetic. “From the moment I sensed your power that night, I’ve been looking for you. I’ve been trying to meet you and tell you who you, to bring you home, where you belong-” 

“You….” You looked at him, lips parting in surprise. “You want to take me home?” 

He nodded. “The mortals are anyways too unworthy to understand your power but so are the demigods. Even if you are half god, the fact that you are half monster is all they will see. With them, you’ll always have to hide but with us? You’ll be free. Free to be yourself, free to unleash your powers, free to be unafraid.” 

Your mouth moved but no words left you. 

“Tell me anything but that you’re thinking about the Son of Zeus.” He narrowed his eyes. “That you’ve set your heart on him.”

Stuttering, you looked away. “I..I’m….”

“You mortals and your love,” He rolled his eyes. “The man because of whom you’re so hesitant, do you think he’ll accept you once he learns what you really are? He brought you to his camp to save you from danger but what do you think will happen when he learns that you in fact are the real danger? Do you think he’ll choose you over his boys?” 

You let out a shaky breath as he neared, the flames following him. 

“Come with me Y/n, let’s go to Tartarus, to our family. To those who will truly love and accept you.” You could smell the fire as he stood inches away from you. “All these part-mortals will die one day, will leave you behind, but we won’t. We’ll always be there for you.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Monsters are immortal too Y/n, we never die.” He smiled as the flames encircled you fully and strangely, you could feel the warmth of it. “Killing a monster simply means weakening us and sending us back to Tartarus, our realm. It’s only a matter of time before we gain our strength and come back to the human world. You can never truly kill a monster.”

A family forever. A home forever. That’s what he was offering you. What you had been looking for your whole life. 

“So come with me Y/n.” He held his hand out. “Come where you truly belong-”

“Y/n!” 

You turned at the sound of a frantic voice, spotting Seungcheol far away, between the trees, looking at you terrified. Thunder clapped across the sky as he ran towards you.

“Get away from him, he’s dangerous-” 

“Yes, when all I’ve done is have a conversation.” The man before you rolled his eyes, extending his hand further. “This is what these demigods do, villainize us for no reason.”

At the loud sound of Seungcheol falling you turned around worried, “Cheol careful-”

“Listen to me Y/n.” Your father drew your attention as Seungcheol got up, making his way towards you again. “They’ll do the same to you, they’ll label you a monster either ways, so come with me and we can go home now.” 

“Y/n step back-”

“Y/n come with me-”

“Y/n please don't-”

“Y/n please-”

You shut your eyes, unable to process both their voices, unable to make a choice. The fire around you intensified, burning with a darker orange - flames streamed out of your hands, joining the already raging fire, towering over the two of you. Panicking you tried to stop them but they just wouldn't - it was like that fateful night all over again. You couldn't control it. 

The Chimaera's eyes gleamed victoriously as he watched your fire burn around him. He looked astounded, like he was enthralled by it. 

“You're brilliant Y/n, you're simply brilliant. They don't deserve you-” 

“Y/n can you hear me?” You couldn't see him but his silhouette told you that Seungcheol had neared. “Don't worry, I'll save you, I got you-” 

“She doesn't need you.” Your father snarled, waving his hand, and the fire followed, striking Seungcheol right in his chest, the sheer force sending him hurling back. 

“No!” You screamed, rushing towards him when the Chimaera's hand wrapped around your wrist holding you back. 

“Y/n we need to go-” 

“No.” You muttered, voice shaking. “No, Cheol, no….”

“It doesn't matter, he doesn't matter, let him die. If we don't get out of your fire, it will…..” 

You can't really hear what he's saying anymore. Let him die. 

You would never let someone die. You didn't let that child die, you won't let Seungcheol die, you weren't one of the monsters. You just weren't. 

Freeing your hand from his with a jerk, you pushed him back, sending the tall man stumbling behind. 

“How could you?” You shook your head. “How could you think I'd join you?”

“I hoped it wouldn’t come to this.” He cracked his neck, straightening up. “If you're not going to come on your own, then I'll drag you to hell by myself.” 

Your throat dried as you watched his face morph, his limbs changing into an animal's, the gruesome image of him you had seen in the scrolls coming to life before you - part lion, part goat, part snake. It made your soul tremble. 

“No.” Lower lip quivering, you stepped back. “You're going to hell alone.” 

And you're not really sure what overcame you or how you knew what to do but suddenly the fire around you roared to life, streaks of the flames charging towards the monster, wrapping it in its grip. You watched as its expression went from amusement to disbelief to pure fear and ended with a mocking smile on its face. When the fire fully engulfed him, it exploded, leaving behind only black ash, fluttering in the wind. 

You stumbled, losing your footing, feeling suddenly drained as you fell to your knees, vision blurring. Pain seared through your head, immaculate pain that you had never felt before but somehow it wasn't worse than the one in your chest. The one you felt as you looked at Seungcheol lying on the forest floor in a pool of blood. Getting it together you quickly got up and rushed to him, pulling him into your lap, calling out to him. 

“Cheol, can you hear me?” Tears stung your eyes. “Please please please be okay.” 

He wasn't okay. The impact of the Chimaera's attack sent him straight into the trunk of the tree, his back and his head was severely wounded but the most noticeable thing was the large burn mark right in the middle of his chest. 

“Help.” You whispered, looking around even though you knew it was pointless. There was no one around. “Please help.” 

But the only response you got is the sound of hooves, galloping across the forest floor. Unsure, you pulled Seungcheol closer to you, looking out into the fog between the trees. Whoever it was, whatever it was, if it meant any more harm to Seungcheol you'll fight it. You'll die fighting it but you'll save this man. 

But that wasn't necessary. 

As the sound neared, a familiar looking winged horse jumped out of the mist, neighing at the sight of you. 

Pegasus. Seokmin's horse. 

Finally, finally allowing yourself to breathe, you shut your eyes in relief. Maybe Seungcheol could be saved after all. 

Everything that happened from the moment you came to camp was still a blur. 

The minute Pegasus entered the grounds, all the members rushed towards the two of you, faces filled with terror. Some members carried Seungcheol towards the Great Hall. Someone had wrapped a blanket around your shoulders, someone else handed you some strange concoction and told you to drink up. It was all a flurry of motion as everyone made their way to the infirmary, a hall you hadn't seen before, putting Seungcheol down on the bed as Jihoon grabbed a pair of scissors and cut his shirt open. You nearly threw up.

The wound was so much worse than you had thought, red and angry on his skin. The members scurried around, grabbing the different things Jihoon was ordering them to get as you stood in between it all, frozen. It was only when Jihoon smeared a green paste all over Seungcheol's chest and the latter screamed in agony that you snapped out of the trance. He was in so much pain-

“Y/n!” Minghao shook your shoulders, making you turn to him. “I'm asking you something.” 

“W….what?” 

“How did this happen?” His gaze was piercing. “Did you guys find the Chimaera?”

Slowly, you nodded.

“And Seungcheol fought it?” He looked stunned. “Why aren't either of you in your gear, what the hell happened-” 

“Minghao.” Jeonghan's voice echoed through the room like the crack of a whip. “Enough.”

“But we need to know-” 

“No, we don't.” He neared you, pulling you away from Minghao’s grip. “Not right now. She's hurt too.”

You glanced down at your legs, noticing the gashes and wounds all over. You didn't even realise. And why would you? This pain was nothing before what Seungcheol was going through. 

“Fuck, Y/n.” Jun stepped up and quickly sat you on the neighbouring bed, reaching for the iodine and cotton, cleaning you up. From the corner of your eye, you saw Jeonghan turn to Joshua. 

“Take her away from here.” He instructed. “Don't let her step foot in the infirmary till Cheol is fine.” 

You opened your mouth in disbelief. You wanted to argue, you wanted to protest but you couldn't bring yourself to. Not with the way your head was spinning. Minghao's worried face was the last thing you saw before the darkness consumed you. 

—

When you opened your eyes, all you could see was the white of the ceiling. 

You glanced at the camp outside the window. It was submerged in the black of the night, only the usual scattered torches burning around. You looked away - the sight of fire was unbearable.

Groaning you sat up, body sore all over, as you kicked the covers off. The wounds seemed to have fully disappeared, you're guessing courtesy of Jihoon's herbal ointment but the pain in your chest was ever present. 

Limping out of the room, you glanced around, wondering where you were. The abnormal amount of mirrors gave you your answer - House of Aphrodite, Joshua's residence. You walked around, catching sight of the silhouettes of the furniture - you always assumed Joshua would have the prettiest house of them all and that seemed true. At least from the little you could see in the moonlight streaming in. 

The soft snores of the residence owner were what pulled you towards his bedroom. You meant to glance, to see if he was properly asleep and sneak out but the sound of your feet awakened him. 

“Y/n…” He called out to you groggily, raising himself on his elbows. “Why aren't you asleep?” 

How could you sleep with Seungcheol lying in the infirmary like that? When you didn't have a clue how he was doing?

Joshua read your mind. 

“Cheol is fine.” He mumbled, clearing his throat. “He's better.”

“I want to see him-” 

“I know.” He sighed. “But Jihoon has strictly asked no one to go to the infirmary. He doesn't want to he disturbed.”

“Will….” You gulped, stepping onto his room. “Will he be okay?” 

“He will. He has to. For all of us.” 

“Yeah.” You whispered, looking around with a sigh. “I don't know what to do. I won't be able to do anything till he's fine-”

“Come here.” Joshua beckoned you, scooting over in his bed, making space for you. You blinked at him confused. “Come Y/n.”

Letting out a deep breath, you complied, slipping under his covers. 

“Look up.” 

And you did, eyes meeting the fascinating sight of the sky, stars blinking behind the dark clouds, the moonlight scattered between them. It looked so calming. 

“Didn't you say you liked camping with your father when you were a child?”

You had told him that. A few days after you came to camp, given Joshua was your only confidant, you had told him about the earliest memory you had. It was when you were around 6 years old, on one of the rare days your father was particularly happy, insisting that the two of you drive to the edge of the city and set up a little tent. Of course he was silly to choose a really windy day to camp and also more than incapable of setting up a tent so you simply watched as it flew away and burst out laughing. That night your father rolled out two sleeping bags side by side as the two of you talked about the stars while the campfire burnt away. 

Somehow now, it made sense why the flames didn't extinguish in the wind. It was you. Your power over fire, a power you got from your real father, not the man who's love, attention and validation you craves for twenty five years of your life. That man wasn't your father. 

Joshua turned at the sound of you letting out a deep breath, finding your eyes shut tight. You didn't want to see the stars anymore. 

“Y/n,” He turned towards you. “Are you okay?” 

“I'm fine.” You mumbled. “I should probably sleep….” 

The lack of response told you that Joshua didn't believe you. You turned to glance at him, noticing his worried expression.

“Okay, I'm not fine,” You confessed. “But I will be.” 

“And I will be there for you.” He reassured, taking your hand. Sighing softly you scooted closer to him, burying your face at the crook of his neck as his arms wrapped around you. 

“Thank you Shua.” You whispered. “Thank you.” 

But before you could hear what he had to say in return, you drifted away, falling asleep.

Although you couldn't ever bring yourself to wake up for training at the crack of dawn, you somehow found yourself wide awake today. Joshua hadn't moved an inch in his sleep, still holding on to you. As much as you found his arms warm and welcoming, you had to go see Seungcheol. You had to see if he was fine.

Slowly slipping out of his embrace, you slid out of Joshua's bed, glancing at him one last time before grabbing his jacket and silently stepping out. 

The morning dew had made the grass all wet and squelchy, your footsteps very apparent in the silence but thankfully there was no one in an audible radius. The flames of the torch continued to burn low which meant training hadn't started yet, or maybe there was none today, you didn't know. Quickening your pace you walked over to the Great Hall, locating the infirmary beside it. 

Through the window you glanced in the dimness, recognising the silhouette of Seungcheol asleep on the bed and another someone sitting on the couch beside him, his head rolled back and mouth slightly parted in his sleep - Jeonghan. 

You wanted to step in, to sit beside Seungcheol, to see how he was but somehow you couldn't move, not with all that weight in your chest. 

“You shouldn't be here.” 

You covered your mouth, preventing the shriek from leaving your being as you turned, spotting Jihoon behind you, a tray of herbs in his hand. “Jeonghan was very clear about not allowing you to go near Seungcheol.”

“And since when does Jeonghan tell everyone what to do?” 

“He's interim leader.” Jihoon sighed. “In the absence of Cheol, his word is the rule.”

“It's not like Cheol's gone.” You rolled your eyes but when they fell on Jihoon's grim expression you gulped. “Joshua said he was better.” 

“Better than before, yes.” Jihoon agreed. “I've fixed his bruises and mended his bones and everything else is healing but…” 

“But?” 

“That burn on his chest.” He sighed. “I don't know how to fix it.”

“Y-you can't fix the burn?” 

He shook his head. “Certain things cause damage beyond repair. Zeus’s lightning, Ares's sword, Chimaera's fire, these are nearly impossible to heal from.”

“Nearly? That means there's some way.” 

“There is.” He nodded slowly. “The Chimaera hasn't been heard of in ages so most healers don't bother to learn the remedies for his fire but luckily I did.” 

“So you can fix him.” You looked at the man before you, eyes shimmering with hope. 

But Jihoon shook his head. “I would've been able to if that was the Chimaera's fire, but….. it's not.” 

It felt like the ground had been pulled from under you. 

“Every fire is different, every fire has its own pattern, its own signature. One can tell by the burn, who's fire caused the injury and Seungcheol’s wound is not from the Chimaera's fire. It’s someone else's.” 

You took a few stumbling steps back, sweat running down your neck. 

You. 

Your fire. 

It was your fire which hurt Seungcheol.

This was all your fault. 

Jihoon frowned. “Y/n, do you know anything about-”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, taking a step back. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

With that you left behind a baffled Jihoon, turning on your heel and running out of the Great Hall, straight into the forest. 

And for a long time, you didn't stop running. 

By the time you returned to camp, it was nearly noon. 

You could tell that the members had been looking for you because the moment you stepped into the dining hall, Soonyoung nearly knocked you over with a bone crushing hug. 

“Fuck, Y/n, where have you been?” He held you tighter. “We were worried sick.” 

“Someone call Hansol and his hounds back.” Minghao spoke from across the room. “Tell him she's here and she's fine.” 

Seungkwan muttered that he would do so before shooting you a concerned look, and leaving the hall. Joshua stepped up as Soonyoung finally let you go. 

“I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there.” 

“Is that where you're crashing now?” Mingyu wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Don't worry, not for long, your new residence is coming along really well, it should be ready in a few days.” 

You scoffed inwardly. What was the point?

“Thanks.” You muttered as Chan walked up to you with a glass of water in his hands, looking down pointedly. 

“Your feet are injured again.” 

“I went for a run.” You confessed. “Had to clear my mind.” 

“Are you that used to punishment rounds first thing in the morning?” Seokmin chuckled. “I'm going to have to find a different punishment for you if you're enjoying it.” 

A small smile grew on your face as the boys began to argue, talking one over the other. From across the room Wonwoo, who was the only one who hadn't approached you, looked at you expressionlessly, his eyes hooded. Gulping you turned away, just in time for Jun to drag you to the table, putting down a plate of food, insisting you eat. The rest of the boys too scattered around, grabbing their own plates, serving themselves, settling in one by one. At the same time, Seungkwan walked in with a tired, dirt clad and unamused Hansol. 

“Don't ever do that again.” Hansol, who hadn't spoken a word to you all these days, mumbled, walking in. 

“Don't worry.” You took a bite of Jun's delicious bibimbap, mind at undeniable peace now that you had made a decision. “I won't trouble anyone anymore.” 

You spent the rest of the day in the Great Hall with the boys. You had asked for their company, mumbling under your breath and without asking why, they complied immediately. Of course Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jihoon were still in the infirmary but the rest of the boys were scattered around the hall all day. 

At most times it was quiet, everyone doing their own thing in the silence. Some of them were reading, some were working, Minghao was cleaning his weapons, Jun and Mingyu were consistently cooking, Wonwoo was just looking out of the window. 

It was only after dinner that everyone finally dispersed, retreating to their cabins. Joshua offered his residence for you to crash again and you agreed, stating you needed to grab your clothes, shower and you'll be there. Nodding he left with the rest, as you made your way to Seungcheol's house. 

For the longest time, this place had been your safe haven but stepping into the empty space today only further broke your heart. You had made the right choice. 

Heading to your room, you grabbed a duffel bag and stuffed some of your essentials - clothes, laptop, books etc. Throwing on a hoodie, you gave your room one last longing look before closing the door behind you. It was only as you stepped out of the large entrance that you felt the soft fur caressing your leg. 

Natalie.

Bending down, you rubbed her fondly as she looked up at you with her big cute eyes. 

“I'm going Nat.” You softly muttered, “As much as I hoped, I don't belong here. I've done nothing but be a menace, attract trouble and worse, put lives in danger. I can't do that to these boys anymore, I just can't….you understand that right? 

She looked at you like she did.

“I would bring you along, but you're a creature of Olympus, of the heavens and I,” You let out a shaky breath. “I'm on my way to hell.” 

Dropping a small kiss on its crown, you smiled at it sadly.

“You'll be happy here, there's Jun’s farm, you can follow Wonwoo all day, you can play with Daisy and the hounds too. You'll be fine without me.”

She whined, louder than usual and it hurt but you knew this was for the best. You had to go and you had to go alone. 

Throwing your duffel bag over your shoulder, you set out towards the camp entrance, ready to leave it all behind, ready to go. You had people here who loved you, people who were annoyed with you, people who were sick of you, peepple who ignored you, but no one hated you, not yet at least. And you wanted to leave before that happened. Because you were sure if they found out it was you who injured Seungcheol, they wouldn't forgive you. 

Taking a deep resolved breath, you took a step forward - it was time to head to hell. 

But before you could take another step, the voice of hell itself stopped you. 

“Going already?”

You turned at the sound of his voice, looking around, chills running down your spine when you didn't spot anyone. 

“I did say you'd look for the first chance to go but I didn't think it would be so soon.” 

You turned again, spotting him right by the last torch of the path, the glow of the torch illuminating his sharp features. He most definitely wasn't there a second ago. 

“Wonwoo.” 

“Y/n.” He stepped forward. “As the Son of Underworld, I'm here to give you a quick briefing before you decide to make hell your new home - it's very hot and very, very stuffy.” 

Eyes widening, you stuttered. “H-how did you know that I was…that I wanted to-” 

“Do something utterly stupid?” He raised his eyebrow. 

And suddenly, he vanished. Straight into thin air. One second you were looking at him and the next, he was gone. And just like that, he appeared again, like he never left. 

Oh.

Of course.

Wonwoo, Son of Hades, had the power of invisibility. Of course he knew - he was always watching. 

Your mind raced back to every instance you had been alone - the library doors randomly opening, the crackling sound of the fallen leaves near the campfire, as though someone was walking, the strange feeling of someone constantly watching. It was all him and that meant there was a lot he saw and a lot more he knew. 

“If things take a turn and you're forced to face it, do whatever it takes to fight it. Don't think, don't analyse, just do it.” 

Wonwoo knew about your fire.

“Why didn't you tell me you knew?” You looked at him, tone unnecessarily accusatory. “Why didn't you say anything?” 

“This was yours to tell.” He shrugged. “I happened to find out by chance.” 

“You mean by stalking.” You spoke between gritted teeth. “You had no right to-”

“I didn't mean to.” He emphasized again.”I wasn't aware you knew your powers or that you were hiding them.”

“Does anyone else know?” 

Wonwoo shook his head. “I told you, it's not mine to tell.”

Sighing, you relaxed your shoulders. Although you were glad that no one else knew, somehow Wonwoo knowing felt like a relief. 

“Why not though?” You glanced at him curiously. “Why would you keep someone as dangerous as me on camp?”

“You're not dangerous Y/n, just different.” 

“Just? Wonwoo….” You took a deep shaky breath. “It was my fire that injured Seungcheol.” 

For a second, he was quiet. “How?” 

“It was an accident-” You mumbled, scared. “I didn't know the Chimaera would be able to use it like that-” 

“So that makes the monster dangerous.” He justified. “You're untrained, that's all.” 

That's all? 

“It's not that simple.” You threw your hands in the air. “You have no idea-” 

“No I don't.” He interjected. “No one does because there's never been a demigod like you but that doesn't make you worthy of going to hell.” 

“You think I'm going to hell to punish myself?” You raised an eyebrow. “Wonwoo, I belong there, perhaps more than you do.” 

For the first time you saw an expression on his face, one of confusion. 

“The Chimaera wasn't hunting me Wonwoo, it was trying to bring me home.” Shutting your eyes, you let out a breath. “The Chimaera is my father.”.

You expected the man before you to look shocked or at least a little scared but his expression turned impassive again. 

“So?” Wonwoo crossed his arms. “Hades is my father.”

“It's not the same-”

“But it is.” Wonwoo exhaled. “My father isn't an Olympian Y/n, he's not one of those gods, he's not worshiped like the rest. Children of Hades do not live on camps, yet here I am.”

Oh. 

You had no idea. 

“It doesn't matter what your parentage is, the problem is you don't consider this place as home, you don't consider these people as yours-” 

“That's not true-”

“If it wasn't, then instead of running away you'd have been in the infirmary, telling Jihoon about your fire.” He snapped. “So he can figure out how to heal Seungcheol.” 

You blinked at him at a loss of words. 

“I didn't think….” 

“That's the problem Y/n, you don't think.” Wonwoo looked away, sighing. “You do the first thing that comes to your mind, regardless of the consequences.” 

He was right. You always were impulsive but this time you were also wrong. You should've thought of Seungcheol first, everything else be damned. 

“If I tell Jihoon about….me, can he save Cheol?” 

“If he studies your fire, he might be able to figure out how-” 

“Let's go to the infirmary.” You interrupted him, determined. Even if saving Seungcheol meant exposing yourself, you'd do it. You'd do anything. 

But your feet stood rooted to the ground, like the fear of truth coming out hadn't left your being.

“C-can you come with me…” You looked at the man before you. “Please?” 

For the first time as you walked, Wonwoo followed, staying by your side. 

“Y/n.” Jihoon looked at you as you stepped into the infirmary. “You shouldn't be here…”

Behind him Jeonghan, who was sitting on the edge of Seungcheol’s bed, stood up. 

“I know but-” 

“Please.” Jihoon whispered urgently. “You don't want to mess with Jeonghan now. Not with Cheol not getting any better-” 

“She's here to help.” Wonwoo spoke from behind, leaning against the entrance. “At least listen to her first.” 

“Go on.” Jeonghan spoke from behind, stepping up. “What is it?”

“You said it was someone else’s fire that hurt Cheol right?”

Jihoon frowned. “Yeah, do you know who?” 

Stretching your hand out, you held it before him. His eyes flickered between you and your empty hand, expression utterly confused. Taking a deep breath, you stared at your palm and like always, flames suddenly burned to life in your hand. Gasping, Jihoon took a terrified step back, eyes widened. 

“You… you can…”

“I can.” You finally admitted, even to yourself. “I can make fire.” 

“How is that possible….” Jihoon stared at your hand lost in thought. 

Your eyes though, drifted towards Jeonghan who looked unaffected. No shock, no surprise, no fear. Like he already knew. Like he always knew. 

You looked over your shoulder at Wonwoo. “You told him? You said you didn't-” 

“How pathetic do you deem my intellect Y/n?” Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “He didn't have to say anything, it was obvious.” 

“What do you mean obvious?” You lowered your hand, the flames dying out. 

“Your lawsuit.” He cocked his head. “We claimed the fire was an accident, like you had said but the defense argued that there was no way the fire could have spread so fast unless it was pre planned. At that point, I suspected you might be a fire bender. Of course, most fire benders are the children of Hephaestus but there weren't many Hestia children to rule out the possibility but when the house was examined, there was no identifiable source of the fire. Which meant it started out of thin air, that meant you weren't just a fire bender, you were making it too. Given your history of having an untraceable aura, I thought something was not aligning - something was different about you.” 

You gulped, unsure about verifying his theory. From the corner of your eye, you caught Wonwoo nodding at you encouragingly. 

“I am different.” Your eyes flickered between the men before you. “At the Nyx forest, the Chimaera spoke to me. He told me I was his daughter.”

A thick silence descended upon the room. So quiet you could practically hear your heartbeat. Yet again Jihoon looked stunned while Jeonghan looked like the cogwheels in his brain were spinning at full speed. 

“I've never heard about a half god, half monster.” You winced at the term as Jihoon looked far off, lost in thought. “I'm not sure what that would even look like-” 

“Me.” You sighed. “It would look like me.”

“What else?” Jeonghan chimed in. “What else did the Chimaera say?” 

“N-nothing much, he just kept insisting that I go with him to Tartarus, that it's where I belong-”

“You belong here.” Jeonghan interjected, features molding into slight anger. “Whatever it claims the other half of you is, you are half god. You were identified by the oracle, you pledged to be a part of camp seventeen and we swore to protect you as one of us so if there's anywhere you are meant to be, it's here.” 

Tears pricked your eyes hearing the conviction in his voice. Never before had someone been so insistent that you belonged. 

“I will look into what the Chimaera said means for you being part of the camp but nothing will change the fact that you are one of us.”

Beside him Jihoon nodded. You didn't see but behind you, Wonwoo nodded too.

“Jeonghan I…” You balled your hands into fists. You had thought a lot before making this choice. You knew it was the right one. “I appreciate you saying that but I just want to help Cheol however I can. Once he’s better, I will be heading to Tartarus.” 

“Why?” Jihoon looked at you questioningly. “Why would you choose to go there?” 

“Because….” You felt your voice get stuck in your throat. “Because I…”

“You think you’re meant to be there but you’re not.” Jeonghan crossed his arms. “Y/n, whether we turn out to be good or bad, it's a choice. It's always our choice. Whether you choose to go or choose to stay I want you to know that camp seventeen chose you, we always will. It's up to you to choose us.” 

“I….” 

“You don't have to decide now.” Jeonghan shook his head. “Let Jihoon study your fire first. Let us save Cheol. Once he comes around, you can tell us your decision. Whatever it is, we'll all accept it.” 

Staring at the ground, you nodded. Seungcheol first, everything else came later. 

The next few days passed a lot slower than usual. 

Under Jeonghan's instructions, all camp training had been suspended indefinitely. While some members were added to the shift roster to increase the security of the camp, others were sent out with missions to procure the ingredients Jihoon asked for. Apparently some of them were so rare, members wouldn't return home for days but no one ever complained. Everyone silently followed orders and did what they were instructed to do. 

You, on the other hand, had nothing to do. Jeonghan simply told you to be available as and when Jihoon required you. Apollo's son had been spending all his time nose deep in books and ancient texts, scribbling away and brewing all kinds of potions and concoctions. Whenever any of his remedies didn't work, he'd call for you and ask to see your fire again. Sometimes he told you to burn something, sometimes he told you to just hold the flame as long as you could. Sometimes he just wanted you to sit by him. Maybe he didn't like to be as alone as he came across.

On the other side of the room, Jeonghan didn't leave Seungcheol even for a second. All day and all night, he sat on that couch, right next to him - he ate there, he slept there, he went through his case files there, he was eternally glued to his friends side. Somewhere deep down, you felt a little jealous. You'd never seen friendship like theirs and you didn't know if you could ever have something like that in your life. 

But sometimes, a part of you said maybe you could. 

When you weren't required in the infirmary and were tired of breathing the camp air, you'd set off, going deeper into the woods, finding a log and sitting all by yourself. But you were never alone. The rustling sound of the leaves or the soft sounds of breath in the pin drop silence told you you weren't alone, he was always there. 

Wonwoo. 

You couldn't see him but you knew he was around, watching over you and somehow it didn't feel intrusive - There was a solace his presence offered that you couldn't explain. It was funny though, how you went from being completely ignored by him to being constantly looked after - in hindsight maybe he always cared for you. 

Clearly they all cared for you. Although Mingyu, Chan and Soonyoung were the ones who were sent away to missions, the first thing they did after enquiring about Cheol was come looking for you - they wanted to make sure you were fine too. Jun and Minghao always made sure you ate, Seokmin, Hansol and Seungkwan had taken over with the building of your house and Joshua was your constant companion all night - after every long, tiring and unsuccessful day, it was in his arms that you found yourself dozing off. Although the rest of the members did not know about your parentage yet, again thanks to Jeonghan's instructions, a part of you now felt that they would accept you, regardless of what your father claimed. 

But the big question was, what was the right choice? With you in camp, was it safe? Sure you had managed to send your father back to Tartarus but it was only a matter of time before he got stronger and came looking for you again. He had already sent his minions once and clearly he didn't care about any collateral damage. You were still very much a threat to everyone, you'd always be one. Maybe, after Cheol regained consciousness, it was best you left. 

You told yourself you'd leave but one look at the way the boys bickered and laughed around the dining hall and you'd find your resolve wavering. You didn't want to leave them, you didn't want to go. But the gnawing feeling of what might happen to them in your company always brought you back to square one - it was a never ending loop of indecision. 

And it was that loop that was going on in your mind as you watched Jeonghan flipping through the multiple files he had laid out on the bed beside Seungcheol’s. 

“Look, the case appears simple but it isn't so straightforward,” Jeonghan looked up, tucking the pencil over his ear. The two of you were finally going over the details of the lawsuit. “The Parks, the family that is suing you, is doing so for two reasons - damage of personal property and attempting to harm their son.”

You glanced at the papers he was looking at.

“That's where it becomes interesting. Even though you caused considerable trouble and more importantly, endangered their child, they aren't trying to get you prosecuted as a criminal,” Jeonghan's eyes gleamed. “They filed a civil lawsuit.” 

“Yes, they want me to compensate them monetarily. ”  

“Think about it, if you had a child-” You didn't want to think about that at all actually. “-and if someone tried to hurt her or him, what would be your response? Asking for money or asking for justice?” 

“I would've gone berserk.” You muttered. “I'd want them punished.”

“Precisely, instead, they're trying to get money out of a broke architecture student.” Jeonghan pointed out. “Doesn't make sense right?” 

You shook your head. 

“Usually in cases of property damage, most people seek insurance payouts but the Parks didn't and this is why.” He pushed a paper towards you. “Wonwoo managed to get his hands on the police report-”

“How?”

“The man does some secret government job, he's got his hands everywhere.” 

“Huh.” You looked around, wondering if he was listening. 

“He's not here.” Jeonghan brushed off, pointing at the paper again. “The point is, the police report mentions two things of major importance - One, they have no idea how the fire even started. Two, the Parks household did not implement any fire safety measures in their residence.” 

“So…. they're not eligible for an insurance payout, right?” 

Jeonghan nodded. “That is why they are pressing civil charges against you, so they can get the money from you, by labelling you as an arsonist.”

“But I am an arsonist.” 

Jeonghan sighed. “Okay you are, but they don't have any proof and that's what our argument will focus on. We will first insist that the police identify the source of fire and then we will add that you had no motive. You didn't know the family before all this, you had no personal connections, and you had no motive to harm.” 

“But the child….” You thought about that night again. “Jeonghan, he saw me start the fire.” 

“He won't remember.” Jeonghan sat back down on his chair. “The Demigod Union took care of that.” 

“The what?” 

“There's a body in every city that handles all demigod related issues called the Demigod Union. Luckily Mingyu was one of the firefighters at the scene so when he sensed the high levels of Aura, he alerted the DU. The senior members gave the child a memory potion while he was hospitalized and it replaced his memories - he only remembers sleeping and waking up to a room full of fire.” 

“If that's the case, he couldn’t have told the Parks anything so why would they think I was trying to harm their child?” 

“Sympathy.” Jeonghan stated like it was obvious. “They're trying to sway the jury by showing their five year old child as a victim. Hence we need to be careful and make the right moves, then we should be able to win this case.” 

You nodded, leaning back against your chair. One battle hadn't even ended and another had begun. You glanced at Jeonghan who seemed lost in his stack of papers again. There was scribbles everywhere, notes in the margins, yellow highlights marking points. Evidently he had done all his research thoroughly. 

“When did you even do all this?” 

“I take my job seriously.” He muttered without looking up. 

“Even the pro bono ones?”

“A case is a case.” He shrugged. “Besides, you are one of us.” 

There he was, hitting you with words that was only making choosing harder. 

You looked at the sleeping Seungcheol. His chest rose and fell with every breath he took, the bandages covering his wound, moving with it. A few days ago you wondered if you would ever get to see him again, but here you were today, right by his side.

“When you saw Seungcheol, did you know it was my fire that hurt him?”

Jeonghan shook his head. “Not at first, but when Jihoon said the fire didn’t seem like the Chimaera’s, I suspected it might have been yours.”

“If you didn't know, then why did you send me away that day?”

‘Because you were untrained and emotional.” He turned to you. “It takes a lot of training for demigods to gain control over their powers. Extreme emotion, be it happiness, sadness, anger…. They tend to make you unstable. I knew you were upset about Cheol so I didn’t want his condition to make you feel worse.”

“So you sent me away for….me?” 

“For everyone’s safety.” He corrected. 

“But when you realised it was my fault, why didn’t you tell Jihoon?” You looked at him curiously. “Why didn’t you confront me?”

Jeonghan sat on the couch, looking far off, growing silent.

“Jeonghan…?”

“I asked Jihoon to mention the unknown fire if you came asking for updates. I also asked Wonwoo to stop you from leaving.” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “I wanted to know what you would choose to do.” 

“You were testing me?” You raised an eyebrow. “What if I ran away? What if Wonwoo couldn't stop me?” 

“Then I would have hunted you down no matter where on Earth you were and… “ He sighed. “And would have begged you to help me. Begged you to save him.”

You blinked at him, just a little stunned. “He really is important to you, isn’t he?” 

Jeonghan nodded. “He saved my life in more ways than one, you won’t understand. No one does.” 

“Jeonghan I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner-”

“I don’t blame you for your choices.” He sighed. “So I hope you won't hold mine against me.” 

“I…” You gulped, not quite sure if he was still talking about prioritising saving his friend over keeping your secret. “I don't mind that you chose him over me.” 

Jeonghan stared at you for just a little longer than usual before he nodded and turned away. “I need my afternoon nap.”

And with that, he turned away, snuggling into the couch and shutting his eyes. Within a few seconds, the soft sounds of his deep breaths filled the room. 

The conversation was over. 

Seungcheol wasn't getting any better. 

Though tension was palpable in the whole camp, perhaps the members chose to look at the bright side - he wasn't getting worse. 

Then the day came when Jihoon said he had exhausted all options, that he didn't know what to try anymore. Everyone had just about given up hope when he called for you one more time - 

“What colour is your fire when you're in pain?” 

You had no idea.

You spent half an hour after that trying your best to remember, and when nothing could jog your memory, you curled your fingers into a fist and slammed the glass pane of the nearby window, blood furiously trickling down your knuckles. When Jeonghan took a worried step forward, you raised your injured hand to stop him before it spontaneously burst into flames….Blue ones. 

Jihoon scribbled a quick note of it before tending to your wound, removing each glass piece embedded in your skin slowly. As you winced, he handed you a potion that he claimed would help with the pain and you gulped it down quickly remembering how bitter it tasted last time. Surprisingly, you noticed it wasn't too bad, nor was it the same colour as before. Though you didn't notice that Jihoon had visibly frozen, like a realisation had dawned upon him. 

The moment he was done dressing your wound he got to work, preparing what he called his final remedy. He said if this didn't work, then nothing could wake Seungcheol up anymore. 

That night, the whole camp waited with bated breath. You were lying on Joshua's bed with your back pressed against his chest and his arms around you but neither of you were asleep. Sleep was unimaginable now. Everyone just wanted to hear the news. And at around 8am in the morning, just as everyone was headed towards the dining hall, it came.

Zephyr, who hadn't stopped patrolling the skies all these days, suddenly flew down, over the heads of the strolling members, a gust of wind left behind in its wake as it made its way towards the infirmary. 

There was only one thing that could make it do that. 

Seungcheol's call. 

He was awake.

Cheering, all the boys rushed towards the Great Hall, running as fast as they could. You felt your knees buckle and hit the ground as you held your chest in relief.

He was fine.

Seungcheol was fine. 

.

.

.

That meant it was time to go. 

“Your name was the first thing he took.” Joshua spoke from behind you as you shoved a spoon of cereal in your mouth, sitting at the dining table. “He's been awake for days, why won't you go see him Y/n?” 

It had been nearly a week since Seungcheol gained consciousness in the infirmary. Since then, the dining hall had been unsurprisingly empty - all the members began to camp at the infirmary first then at his house where he was moved after a few days. You hadn't visited him in either place. 

“I will.” You munched slowly. “I'm just waiting for him to get better.” 

“He is better.” 

“But not as good as before, right?” 

“It's a matter of time.” Joshua slid onto the bench, sitting beside you. “Jihoon said he'll be walking in a day or two.” 

You nodded, humming. “That's good.”

“Hey.” Hand below your chin, Joshua turned your face towards him. “What's wrong, love? You were so worried all these days and now….”

“I don't know.” You whispered, voicing your fear. “I don't know how to face him. I don't know what he'll think of me when he learns it's all my fault-”

“If you don't know, then ask him.” 

Every cell in your body froze at the familiar voice you hadn't heard in a long time.

Seungcheol. 

“Chief.” Joshua quickly got up and bowed. “You're….are you okay?”

Seungcheol didn't answer, so you figured he nodded. As you heard his footsteps near, you turned, shutting your eyes and bowing, not looking at him. 

“Shua, ask Chan to start the car. Y/n and I have to go somewhere.” 

Taken aback, you looked up but Seungcheol had walked out already, Joshua following behind, throwing you an apologetic look. 

Did he know? Had he decided to drop you to Tartarus by himself? 

You had meant to leave the day Seungcheol opened his eyes. You had even packed all your things again but the boys claimed he wasn’t entirely fine yet. So you told yourself you’ll leave the next day and then the next and then the next and now here you were, with him finally well enough. 

You didn't know what to do, at least until the sound of Chan's taxi horn resounded in the camp - then you quickly put your bowl in the sink and rushed out. When you reached the car, Seungcheol was already sitting in the passenger seat while surprisingly Seungkwan sat at the back, scooting over to make space for you. No sooner than you got in Seungcheol instructed Chan to go and he did, setting off into the forest at full speed. 

The whole of the ride you looked down at the hands on your lap, fingers fiddling with each other nervously. When you began to pick at the skin beside your nails, Seungkwan's hand wrapped around yours, stopping you. You were grateful for that, especially with lightning consistently flashing across the sky, his hand over yours was a comforting weight. But he didn't need to hold on for long, not with the car stopping before a very familiar landmark tree. Getting out of the car, Seungcheol opened the door on your side, instructing both of you to get out and Seungkwan to go sit in front. Puzzled, the two of you complied and Seungcheol went over to Chan, 

“Both of you head back to camp.” 

Chan looked confused. “But what about you and Y/n?”

“My range rover is still here. I'll bring it back.” He stepped back. “You two should leave.” 

Without questioning any further, Chan nodded, reversing the car as Seungkwan shot you a worried look. As they left, disappearing at the end of the road, Seungcheol began to walk into the darkness of the forest while you stood rooted to the ground, unsure about what was happening. It was only when lightning furiously struck the olive tree and it burst into flames that you took a terrified step away, following him. 

By the time your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you found Seungcheol’s silhouette standing by his car that had been left here abandoned for days now. Pulling his keys from his pants, he unlocked it, getting into the driver's seat before turning on the engine, the car and the headlights roaring to life. 

“Get in.” 

You heard his voice over the soft humming of the engine and obeyed, not wanting to fuel his already intensified anger. Seungcheol stared far off at the trees illuminated by the white lights of the car, lost in thought. You didn't dare look at him. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever, though it had been barely a minute, he let out a sigh and turned to you. Wordlessly, he tugged you towards him, hand gripping your thigh as he pulled you into his lap. Although surprised, you didn't resist, letting him wrap his arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Overwhelmed, you hugged him back, as tight as you could, like you never want to let him go. You could feel Seungcheol’s lips curl into a smile against your skin.

“I missed you.” He whispered, nuzzling his nose against your neck. 

Letting out a breath of relief, you finally smiled after days. “I…. I missed you too.” 

It turned out astronomy student Seungcheol was a resourceful young man.

After nearly fifteen minutes, when the two of you finally broke from the embrace, he headed to the boot of his car and pulled out a tent and a couple of camping supplies - apparently he spent a lot of nights out in the middle of nowhere, studying the stars. You sat and watched as he skillfully erected the tent, gathered some wood and started a campfire. You stared at the flames, thoughts racing in your mind. Camping had once been a very bittersweet memory for you, and you didn't know how today was going to turn out. 

When Seungcheol beckoned you to sit next to him by the campfire, you walked over and sat across him instead. It was high time for a conversation; for both of you to tell your truths. 

Seungcheol sighed, “I suppose it's time we talked.”  

You nodded. 

“I know my behaviour over the past many days must be confusing for you.”

You nodded again.

“Before I explain myself I just want to make one thing clear.” He took a deep breath. “I really like you Y/n.” 

Your lips parted in surprise. You didn't see that coming. 

“I have since the day you stepped into camp, and I saw the way you looked at me, I knew you liked me too.” 

“Then why….”

“Do you know why it's always dark in Nyx forest?” 

You blinked at the sudden switch of topic. 

“Because she's the goddess of the night?” 

“Yes, but she's also the goddess of darkness - the trees of her forest are so dense, they don't even allow light in.” 

“Okay….” 

“Which means other than the Underworld, this is the only place that cannot be seen from the skies, the only place my father has no eyes.” 

Zeus?

“You mean…” And you finally realised. “The reason behind everything you were doing is…..your father?” 

“I admit at first I didn't make a move on you because I didn't know if you truly liked me or if it was the….” 

“....usual attraction women have towards you?” 

Seungcheol gulped. “Yeah that, but when your feelings remained consistent after my initial rejection that day in my house, I figured it was real.” 

“Then why didn't you kiss me when I came back?” You remembered the lightning in the sky when the two of you were giggling away in the arch of the House of Zeus. Seungcheol's power was thunder, but when you were around him, it had always been lightning. It had always been Zeus. “Was it because of your father?”

Seungcheol nodded slowly, “Ever since your discovery, Olympus has been disturbed. An undetectable aura…. Everyone knew something was different about you.” Oh you knew what was different. “My father wasn't happy that I took you into my camp, so he made it very clear that I stay away from you. Otherwise he… would do what was necessary to keep you away.” 

“Zeus… threatened me?”

Seungcheol nodded. “Ever since then I have been on the edge around you, always guarded, always alert, always nervous…” Oh. His force field.  No wonder. “That's why I was surprised you could touch me without being electrocuted. But now that I think about it, maybe the force field wasn't active to begin with. Perhaps I was selfish, perhaps I wasn't antagonised enough and my desire to have you was greater than my desire to protect you.”

“Cheol….” You sighed, getting up and sitting beside him, taking his hand in yours. You had no idea he felt this deeply about you - all this while you assumed he didn't care. “I don't understand, why does your father care so much about….us? We're grown adults, we can make our own choices.” 

Seungcheol grew silent. Then he took a deep breath, 

“Olympus is…dying.” You frowned as he continued. “Yes the Gods are immortal but they've lived for too long, they've ruled for too long. After the Titans, they had been undefeated, ruling for centuries and now they're looking to step down on their own. They're looking for heirs and… Zeus wants me to be his.”

You could feel your heart pounding in your ears. Seungcheol….King of Olympus? Of course Zeus didn't want him to have anything to do with you, you were an anomaly, part monster. 

“Do you want to be…. I mean, is that what you want?” 

“Being King of Gods? I don't know, I was never asked if it's what I wanted. For as long as I remember, ever since I was a little boy, Zeus only told me to train hard, to become worthy.” He sighed. “I don't know about being King but I do want to be branded as his heir - having Zeus's blessing would make winning the quests a lot easier. I want that for my boys.” 

You scoffed disbelievingly. “Is winning a sparring competition really worth it?” 

Seungcheol’s expression was incredulous. “Winning the quest isn't just winning a title Y/n. The camp which wins is set free - it is disbanded and the members are allowed to return to the mortal world, to live their own lives, have careers and friends and families. Winning the quest means winning freedom.”

Oh. 

“The boys have been working hard for years yet we haven't been able to win a season. If I'm branded Heir of Zeus, it will be easier to make alliances, to gain favors. His Mark would change the whole game.” 

“His Mark?”

“His heir would carry some sort of identifiable symbol of Zeus called His Mark, I don't know what exactly, he hasn't officially branded me yet.” 

“Why not?”

“He still doesn't feel I'm worthy enough, he thinks I can do better. Train harder, lead the team better, choose my partner better….”

The two of you fell in a painful silence. 

“Y/n as much as I want His Mark, I want you too-” 

“But you can't have both can you?”

Seungcheol slowly shook his head. 

“You can't have both anywhere but here…” You slowly added. “Zeus isn't watching you here right?”

“He isn't but all that lightning earlier…. those were warnings. I suppose he suspects.” Seungcheol looked up, eyes meeting the trees instead of the sky. “I hoped this would seem like an attempt to get the car back but I guess not.” 

“Does that mean this is the first and last time we're going to be civil with each other?” You chuckled sadly. “Are we going to go back to the Cold War?”

“Y/n,” Seungcheol turned to you, gripping your hands tighter. “Let me just become his heir, officially that is, receive His Mark, win the quest and then we can do whatever - he can't stop me.”

“So you…you want us to work?”

He nodded. “Of course I do. Y/n I mean it, I really do like you and I want us to at least have a chance - that is if…. if you want me too.” 

You did want him. Of course you wanted him, but the fact still remained - you were part monster. Would Seungcheol, the leader who put his boys above all, the man who was to rule the heavens, still want you if he knew? It was only right to tell him the truth but…

Perhaps you took a little too long to muse. You were drawn out of your thoughts as Seungcheol retracted his hand.

“It's completely okay if you don't…” 

You gripped his fingers, looking at him determined. Seungcheol seemed confused by your mismatching actions but he waited for you to say something. Instead, you showed him.

Leaning forward you pressed your lips against his, softly at first before he tilted his head further capturing your mouth in a frenzy. 

The two of you kissed like teenagers in the heat, licking, sucking, moaning into each other's mouths. Lips swollen, neck almost catching a cramp from the angle, but you continued, sliding into his lap, your legs across his, whimpering when he squeezed your thighs. Instinctively, you grabbed the hem of your t-shirt and lifted it, pulling it over your head and tossing it on the floor after which you realised….. the forest was watching. 

“What's wrong?” Seungcheol looked at you concerned, trying his best not to ogle at your breasts. 

“Feels like we're being watched.” You muttered, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing yourself closer to him so you didn't feel so exposed. 

Laughing, Seungcheol looked up at you fondly, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Everything in the Nyx forest embodies her, she's present everywhere.” 

“So we're going to have sex in…in front of a goddess?” 

“Oh we're going to have sex?” He grinned at you teasingly. 

“Cheol…” You whined. “Yes, yes we are,  but I just don't know about here…” 

“Nyx isn't just any goddess, she's a primordial. Unlike the gods, she doesn't have a human form. She's just an entity, spread through her realm.” 

“So she just… exists?” 

He nodded. “She doesn't come under the rules that govern the Gods - she's above and beyond the inhabitants of Olympus.”

“Does that mean she won't tattle on Zeus about us?”

Seungcheol laughed, placing a butterfly kiss on your nose, like you were too cute for him to handle. “She is the one god Zeus is terrified of so no, he won't ask and she won't tell.”  

“Thank fuck.” You muttered and kissed him again, your urgency nearly knocking him over. Balancing your weight over him, Seungcheol chuckled, pulling you closer, tongue slipping into your mouth. You wanted to take his shirt off too but when you tried to reach for the hem, Seungcheol drew back, glancing at your hand. 

“What?” You raised your eyebrows, curious but not worried. You had finally learnt that Seungcheol really wanted you. Something else was bothering him.

He shook his head and before you could ask him again, he hooked his arm under your knees and with absolutely zero effort, lifted you, carrying you to the tent. Somehow, after all that happened between the two of you, it was only when he glanced at your face so lovingly that you felt shy, looking away with a smile. Laughing Seungcheol set you down on the sleeping bag before zipping up the entrance, the faint light of the campfire illuminating the inside. You pulled your legs together, hugging your knees and Seungcheol's expression turned amused. 

“Didn't take you to be a shy one.”

“I'm not.” You mumbled, “but I don't know. I suddenly feel like a teenager who's out with her boyfriend, about to do it for the first time.” 

Seungcheol crouched, his eyes at you level, suppressing a smile. “Boyfriend?”

“Don't get ahead of yourself.” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“I'm just observing.” He laughed. “You like the forbidden.” 

“I don't mind the unconventional.” You corrected him. 

“Even if it means pretending like we don't want to have anything to do with each other when I like you so damn much?”

You nodded, trying not to blush. 

Seungcheol tugged your arms, pulling them away from you. “Even if we have to come to the middle of nowhere every time we want to have sex?” 

“Most definitely.” 

“And what if I never want to leave this place?” He leaned over, prompting you to lean away, your back hitting the ground as he hovered over you. “What if I want to be inside you and never leave?” 

“Works for me.” You grinned, pulling him down by his shirt, kissing him yet again. You couldn't remember the last time you enjoyed making out with someone this much. Maybe it was how soft his lips were, or how eager he was to kiss you back or just how much you craved this, the moment he broke away to kiss your neck, you whined at the loss. 

“I've been dying to get my hands on you like this.” He groaned, grabbing a tit with a hand and the other with his mouth, the swirl of his tongue making your back arch. Taking advantage of your raised hips, Seungcheol hooked his fingers along the waistband of your shorts, pulling it down along with your underwear. As he dragged it down your legs, he sat on his heels, looking at you like you were a miracle, causing you to blush all over again. Before you could ask to see him too he descended upon your chest again, trailing down this, mapping your skin with his lips as his fingers teased your folds. Of course you were drenched between your legs, your hands threading his thick tresses as he kissed you at the dip of your waistline, looking up to see you tense in anticipation. 

Fuck. 

He looked so hot like that, gauging your reactions, eager to please, asking inaudible if he could. When you gave him a soft nod, he wasted no time, throwing your legs over his shoulders, running his tongue deliberately slowly between your folds. The moan that left you was unholy to say the least, grip in his hair tightening as he didn't give you even a second to register it all, tongue slipping into your hole. Your thighs involuntarily squeezed together, trying to chase the feeling though your tried your best to not crush him between your legs, but Seungcheol seemed to be rather enjoying it all, sucking on your clit, coaxing it just the right way. In no time, he had a shiver run down your body, everything tightening in the pits of your being as you came on his tongue and he hummed against his skin, tasting you. 

“You taste fucking good.”

“You are fucking good.” You huffed, catching your breath, pulling your legs off his shoulders. “Where did you learn to do that?” 

Seungcheol shrugged, straightening himself. “Being the Son of Zeus is not all too bad.” 

You rolled your eyes as he undid his pants and leaned down to kiss you, caging you between his arms. His erection pressed against you, causing you to grind your hips, pulling a groan out of him. 

“Take your shirt off.” You whispered as he met your hips with his, not reacting. “Let me see you Cheol.” 

And when he continued to kiss down your neck without listening, you knew something was wrong. 

“Cheol….” Hands on his chest, you pushed him back, putting some distance between the two of you so you could see his face when he winced, like it hurt. 

Swearing under your breath, you apologised, sitting up as he did, face contorted in pain. Your hands moved to undo his buttons, when he shook his head, putting his hand in between. 

“Cheol let me see.” And when he seemed stubborn as ever, you added. “Are you still going to keep hiding things from me?” 

Those words make him lower his guard, allowing you to quickly work his buttons, eyes falling in the centre of his chest. There was a large wound right in the middle, the lesion scabbed, bleeding at places, looking red and devastatingly painful. It was the mark of your fire. 

“It’s my fault.” You whispered, terrified to run your fingers all over it. “It's all my fault-”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to…” Seungcheol sighed. “It’s not your fault Y/n, we both were foolish to not wear gear when we ventured off.”

He still thought you were blaming yourself for leading him to the Chimaera. He deserved to know that it was your fire that hurt him, he deserved the truth, just like he had given you. 

“Cheol I need to tell you something-”

“I know. I know the Chimaera was talking to you, that it told you something.” His expression wasn't as grim as you thought it would be. “But whatever it is, it can wait-”

“No it really can’t.”

“Haven’t you had enough of everything around us pulling us apart?” Seungcheol sighed. “There’s always something or the other trying to come between us when all we want is just to be with each other.”

“I know but-”

“Whatever it is can wait till we are done.” He looked at you expectantly. “Unless you insist I need to know right now.” 

You should have insisted. You should have told him the truth, but as much as it made you a hypocrite, your resolve faltered, and you shook your head. You were fully naked and halfway through things - it was already too late. If this was the last time you could have Seungcheol then you wanted to savor it. 

Relieved, Seungcheol stripped out of his shirt, trying his best to not show the pain in his face. “I’m fine, everything is fine.”

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered, as his lips found yours, your bodies reaching for the ground again, Seungcheol holding his weight from crushing you. Giving his length a few pumps, you watched as he rubbed it against your folds, ignoring your pleas before he finally pushed it into your needy hole and your walls sucked him in immediately. 

“Fuck you’re tight.” He groaned, thrusting his hips slowly. A part of you wanted him to gently make love to you like this, but another just wanted to bring that animal out of him again, the one that railed you into oblivion on the hood of his car. All parts of you though, only wanted one thing. 

“Don’t….” And from your expression, Seungcheol knew what you were asking for. You didn’t want to cum fast or cum over and over again. You just wanted him. “Please, just let me feel you.” 

And he did. Bending your knee, he wrapped your leg around his waist and you immediately followed suit with the other one, locking your ankles behind him. He moved his hips, thrusting to a rhythm of his own - sometimes it was fast, hips snapping away as his eyes were fixed on your face twisted in pleasure. Sometimes it was slow and deep, kissing you on one hand, hitting all the right spots on the other. Either way, you came around him twice, your arousal leaking out, hole sore but you didn’t ask him to stop and neither did he offer to, like he was intoxicated by being inside you. It wasn’t until he frantically asked where you wanted him to come and you tightened your legs around him that he finally stopped, coming inside you, ropes of white coating your walls and filling you up. As he came down from his high, he rolled off you, lying on his back, his chest heaving, catching its lost breath. You snuggled into his arms, careful not to touch his wounds, realising it was finally time to tell him the truth. 

But you couldn’t. Not when he wrapped his arms around you, dropping a soft kiss on your forehead, muttering something you didn’t quite hear. 

Seungcheol’s truth had fixed what was broken, but your truth would only break the two of you again….

Maybe the truth could wait. 

Maybe some things really were better left unsaid. 

By the time the two of you returned to camp, the sun began setting behind the horizon. 

After the two of you cleaned up, packed the tent and other camping essentials, Seungcheol pulled you into his lap again, tangling his hands in your hair, kissing you. All sense of time lost, the two of you simply made out lazily, kisses interjected by laughter, laughter interjected by more kissing. Although you didn't want to part, he pressed his forehead against yours, sadly whispering, “We should go.” 

Throughout the two hour drive, neither of you spoke. You could tell he was itching to hold your hand and you longed to lean on him too but you were not in Nyx's domain anymore, you were under Zeus's skies. If two hours of distance was so difficult you wondered how the two of you would navigate the upcoming days, until Zeus decided to impart his Mark on him. But you'd do it. For him, for what was between the two of you, you'd do it. 

But the moment Seungcheol’s car entered the camp, you felt your guts twist. You couldn't place your finger on it all that well but something was very similar to the last time the two of you returned from the Forest of Nyx - all the members rushed towards the car immediately, faces looking both worried and confused. 

Seokmin rushed up to Seungcheol whispering something in his ear, the latter glancing at you concerned before asking you to follow him. Immediately, all of you headed towards the temple, murmuring amongst each other, finding Jihoon standing before the altar, two indistinguishable objects in his hand. 

“I didn't approach the Oracle.” Seungcheol frowned at Jihoon, puzzled. “How did these arrive….” 

“Well,” The Son of Apollo raised the contents in his hand. “They arrived nevertheless, one for you and one for her.”

Everyone turned to you. 

“For me?” You pointed at yourself. “What came for me?”

“Scroll of Sacrifice.” He held out a rolled piece of paper to you. “A deal, for one meeting with Goddess Hestia.” 

Stunned, you blinked at him.  

“And for you,” He turned to his chief. “A deal to receive the Mark of Zeus.”

Seungcheol and you turned to each other surprised - What was going on?

Stretching your hands out unsure, both of you reached for your respective scrolls, the paper immediately unravelling at your touch.

Written right in the middle of your paper, scribbled away in black ink was just one word, a name, one that felt like a knife was plunged into your heart - Seungcheol. 

Beside you, Seungcheol had dawned an equally painful expression on his face and over on his paper was a name too. 

Yours. 

A/n - Phew, what a chapter, this was such a challenge to write but we finally got some cheol action hehe and the ending, yeah, I know, what can I say, its impossible for me to function without a cliffhanger :') Anyways, thank you for reading, please feel free to leave your thoughts and screams and emotions in the comments or the tags - see you in chapter 5!

[kymerawrites]

How much it hurt standing right there, on the balcony of his two-story house, the thought of him getting married to another woman tomorrow was making your heart bleed. You leaned against the railing with a frown on your face, a glass of champagne in your hand and your eyes throwing daggers at the moon. Simon decided to invite all Task Force 141 for a drink the night before the big day, you could hear them all laughing and cheering downstairs in the living room, but you couldn’t even put a small smile on your lips.

You loved him and he loved you back, you thought things could still work between the two of you, he thought differently. He didn’t know how to show his love, his care, it hurt you and he knew it perfectly, that’s why he decided to break things off with you. And now? After one year you still haven’t moved on and now he was going to marry another woman. You heard someone clear his voice and immediately turned around, Simon was there with his hands clasped behind his back, his eyes staring deeply at yours, “shym.. Why are you here alone?” He asked, his tone holding a little sadness.

You let out a scoff before turning your gaze down towards the garden, watching a couple of butterflies landing perfectly on the grass, “because I’d rather not be around for this,” you muttered, the grip on your glass of champagne tightening. He sighed and walked closer to you, joining you in standing against the railing of the balcony and keeping a respectful distance.

“You’re invited, why would you not want to be here?” He asked with a raised eyebrow before letting his gaze drop on you. You rolled your eyes and drank half of the liquid from your glass before replying, “Because I don’t want to watch my ex-boyfriend getting married to another woman.” You murmured with bitterness in your tone.

“Even though we’re still colleagues, I cannot just act like I don’t care Simon..” I took a big chug of my wine before looking down to the grass

His eyes softened as he realized how you truly felt about the situation, he could blame nobody but himself. He was the stupid one. He let out another heavy sigh and leaned against the railing, his shoulders dropping and his body slightly falling forward, as if a weight was on his shoulders, “I know-“ he paused and closed his eyes before continuing, “but the decision has been taken.”

“Why mia… why her Simon what was so special about her that overshadowed me?”

“You want me to tell you why did I choose her?” He asked and you could just hear how tired and frustrated his voice was. You turned your head to look at him and saw how tired he looked, probably tired from hearing the same question for the past few weeks after he told you that he was going to marry her and not you, “yes,” you said in a stern voice, “why her and not me?”

Simon thought for a split second “Mia, she was someone who saved my life, kept me company while I was almost dying on that battlefield..and we just fell for eachother, I couldn’t let that eat me up.”

Your heart dropped as Simon spoke, he fell for her while you were waiting for him here. You felt a pang of jealousy and anger towards her just from hearing the words leaving his mouth. You turned your body fully towards him and narrowed your eyes at his face.

“You fell for her on the battlefield?” You asked in disbelief, “while I was here waiting and worrying for you?”

He slowly nodded his head. “You don’t understand, she kept me company while I was in my lowest point during those days on the battlefield, I-“ he paused and licked his lips as he remembered those days where he didn’t give a damn if he lived or died and he was close to death so many times, yet Mia was there, taking care of him and talking to him as he just laid there, unable to speak or move.

Your eyes widened in shock and slight anger. “You don’t think I understood that?” You exclaimed, “Simon I was there for you too, I was texting you, calling you, worrying about your state every night!” You paused as you felt your eyes starting to heat “I was praying that you’d come back safely, that you’d come back home to me, but-“ you bit the inside of your cheek and took a deep breath as you tried not to yell at him, “but no- Instead you fell in love with another woman.”

He could basically hear your voice breaking as you spoke and his heart ached every second. “I know-“ he tried to speak up, but you didn’t let him, the last drop of rage finally hit you and you snapped at him.

“You know? Then why!? Why didn’t you choose me? Didn’t you love me like you love her!? Didn’t you care for me like you care for her!?” You yelled at him, not being able to hold your emotions back now.

“Of course I did! You know I did!“ He yelled back as he lifted his head and clenched his jaw, his hazel eyes staring deeply into yours. You looked straight into his eyes and felt a tear run down your cheek, “Then why?” You asked in a weak voice, “if you loved me and cared about me why didn’t you choose me instead?”

Another sigh escaped his lips and he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “Because it’s different with her!“ He yelled back and he saw how another tear fell from your eye. He was hurting you, but he didn’t know how to explain you why it was different, “I don’t know how to explain” he spoke in a much calmer tone and leaned against the railing again, “she’s just different..”

I nodded “ah yes, because she never made mistakes, she was soft, loving and caring..” I paused “and I always did the opposite. Because I am harsh, an ex maffia member, someone who was obsessed with the thrill of life or death, money..” I looked at him angrily “is that the reason?”

Simon stayed silent for a few moments, thinking about your words. He knew that what you were saying was completely true, you have never been the soft or gentle type of woman, you could never love him as fiercely as Mia did. He lowered his gaze to his feet for a second and bit his lower lip before replying. “It is part of the reason-“

Your heart shattered even more as he confirmed your thoughts. “That’s exactly why isn’t it?“ You said in an almost inaudible whisper. “She loves you like a real lover should do.. while I do the opposite..” you muttered almost to yourself.

You chuckled humorlessly and shook your head, looking up at the night sky to hold your tears from falling down your face. “And the other reasons..?” You whispered, knowing you were stepping into a minefield.

He took a deep breath and let it out before answering your question. “It’s a.. lot of reasons actually.” He said in a much calmer voice than before. He could see and hear the pain in your voice and it made him want to comfort you, but he couldn’t do that. Not anymore. Not after everything.

“Then name them.“ You looked at him again, holding back all the emotions that were swirling in your brain, “tell me all the reasons that made you fall out of love for me and fall in love with her.”

He grunted and closed his eyes for a second before looking into your eyes again “first reason, the one you already guessed, is her nature. She’s sweet, gentle, kind, loving, she takes care of me when I need it.” He said in a low voice, his eyes locked into yours.

“Second,” he paused as he leaned forward and his body was now facing you fully, “she knows when to stop arguing and when to give in, she’s not stubborn like you.” He said without thinking and winced slightly.

He knew that the next reasons were going to rip you apart, that’s why he was taking time to give the perfect answer. “She’s not some mobster and a con.” He said in a cold tone as he looked up at you again.

Your eyes widened in shock when he spoke, you couldn’t believe that part of the reason was the fact that you were once a mafia member. “You-“ you spoke in a weak voice “you’re using my past as a reason?” You let out a humorless chuckle and shake your head.

“Don’t act surprised,” he said in a dry tone “you’re a criminal. A con woman and now an ex mobster.” He crossed his arms over his chest and slightly lifted his chin, staring into your eyes with a blank expression, “what do you expect?”

His cold words and expression felt like daggers into your heart and you closed your eyes momentarily to hold back your tears. “I know what I was, but I never expected you to use it against me.” You said in a quiet voice.

“You know how I was forced in that and the horrific situations I experienced and needed to endure..”

He bit his lip and his body tensed when you spoke about your past, he remembered hearing your stories more than once. He knew it was cruel to use that against you, but he just wanted you to understand, “Yes I do..” he said in a serious and firm voice “and that’s another part of the problem.”

“I don’t want to hear it anymore Simon… I couldn’t get over you because I love you.. or well loved you.” A tear welled up in my eye “you just proved me why I should not even want to speak to you again.”

He clenched his jaw when he saw the tear rolling down your face and closed his eyes tightly. He wanted to reach over and wipe the tear off your face, his hands were itching to feel your skin again, but he knew he couldn’t touch you. This was already too painful for both of you. He looked at you again and saw how much pain you were in. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said in a low tone, “I just wanted you to understand..”

“Understand your bullshit reasons to marry another woman,” you whispered and wiped the tear off your face with the back of your hand. You couldn’t take this anymore, hearing him give you so many reasons why he won’t choose you was slowly killing you.

He flinched slightly when you cursed, he also couldn’t stand seeing you in pain like that. “Those same bullshit reasons are the ones I’m choosing her over YOU!“ He snapped. He was losing control of his emotions hearing you speak and seeing your hurting expression.

“Then why are you still trying to explain them to me?” You spoke, feeling your anger rise as well, getting tired of his attitude. “You already chose her, you’re going to marry her tomorrow, then why are you wasting your time to explain me something you shouldn’t?!”

He let out a scoff and leaned more towards you, “Because I don’t want you to think that I’m only doing this out of spite! I’m in love with her okay?! And I’m going to marry her because I want to, I want to spent the rest of my life with her!” He yelled at you, letting out all his bottled up emotions.

I just stayed silent and looked at the stars in the sky before turning my face back to him “then I wish you well in live Simon.” And I walked downstairs towards the door

His heart sank when you walked away like that, you just stopped fighting, you just gave up. “That’s it?” He said in disbelief before he started walking after you, closing the distance between the two of you in a few strong steps. He grabbed your arm and stopped you from walking.

He turned you around so that you would be facing him and held your arm firmly to prevent you from walking away from him. He stared into your eyes as he spoke, his voice low. “That’s it?” he repeated, “you’re just leaving? Not even going to fight for me?”

You felt like your emotions were about to explode anytime now, he had no right to speak like that. “What the hell do you want me to do?!” You almost shouted, looking him straight in the eyes, “what more am I supposed to say!? You don’t want me, you chose another woman! I’m not going to fight when it’s already lost.”

He tightened his jaw and his grip on your arm. He didn’t know why he was so upset when you said those words. He should’ve been happy that you gave up, but he wanted to see the feisty woman that never surrender, he wanted you to fight for him. But the words you were saying to him made his heart ache. You were giving up on him, you just accepted that he was marrying another woman.

His expression softened when he saw more tears in your eyes and he slowly loosened his grip on your arm, holding it gently now. He took a deep breath and looked into your eyes, his voice calm. “Say something. Yell at me, tell me I’m a bastard, that you hate me. Anything.”

You inhaled a shaky breath and tried to hold back your tears. Seeing him like this made your heart ache as well, but you knew you had to be strong, “What for? Do you want me to humiliate myself and beg you to pick me? Beg you that you will see how much I love you?”

“Well guess what Simon, I want you to thrive in your upcoming marriage and I don’t want to be seen as an obstacle, I don’t want to see you again Simon..” and I walked out the door and shut it close

And at that moment I felt like I lost myself, lost control. I called Shepard to surrender myself from the army and called an old friend of mine.

I called Amanda “shym is that really you? Girl we’ve missed you so much!”

Amanda’s excited tone on the other side of the phone made your heart clench slightly, you missed your old friend. A lot.

“How is angels palace doing Amanda? I want to come back. I miss everyone..”

“Oh we’re all good but we all miss your presence!” Amanda said in a cheerful tone “Come back here you crazy bitch, we all miss our queen.”

I smiled as tears welled up in my eyes again “so my dad isn’t angry at me leaving him?”

“Yeah he’s still sulking about it“ said Amanda before bursting into laughter “it’s kinda funny whenever someone mentions you, he just puffs like an angry child. But I know and everyone knows that secretly he’s missing your smartass comebacks.”

“And most of all his backbone, you were thriving and making us a lot of money, you need to come back.. Sol.”

A chuckle escaped your lips when she used your old name, nobody called you like that anymore. “Stop it, you’re making me miss that place even more. I swear to God if I get home and I don’t see my favorite drink at the bar I’m going to strangle your ass.”

“My flight leaves at 9 AM, I’ll see you around 7 PM in the evening alright?”

“Perfect, just be prepared to drink tons of my good old cocktails.” Amanda said and you could sense the excitement in her voice.

I drove home and instantly packed all my belongings and my cat, couldn’t leave the poor guy behind. I left my keys in the plant pot and put a note for my tenant that I payed last month rent and I’ve moved out.

After everything was in your bags and the car, you sat down in the driver’s seat and drove straight to the airport. You were already excited to see your old home again and meet your old friends, but your heart still ached from the whole Simon situation.

You checked in your bag and sat down in the waiting area for your flight. People were all around you, walking, chatting, all seemed normal. But you felt heavy and tired, you couldn’t get Simon’s face out of your head. You closed your eyes to rest for a moment.

You were awakened by the announcement on the speakers that your flight was about to start boarding up. You slowly opened your eyes and stood up from your sit, grabbing your bags. You slowly made your way to the boarding desk, showing the worker your ticket before making your way onto the plane.

Time to go back to bogota..

You made your way to your seat at the plane and strapped the seatbelt around your waist. You inhaled a deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment, trying not to think about Simon.

‘He’s marrying that stuck up doctor today, I hope everything goes well for them’ I thought

Even thinking that made your heart ache. You hated the thought of him marrying another woman. You took a deep breath and took out your headphones, deciding to play some music to distract yourself.

The flight seemed long, but at least the loud music was helping you to distract from your thoughts. You were listening to some of your favorite songs when the pilot announced your arrival to Bogota.

Back in London it was Simon, trying to call you multiple times since yesterday

He sat alone in his kitchen with his head resting on his crossed forearms. He hasn’t slept and he had bags under his eyes. He picked his phone up again and called your number, hoping that this time you would answer.

He tapped his foot on the floor anxiously and held his breath, listening to the beeping. But then he heard your voicemail again, causing his expression to tense up. He growled in irritation and was about to throw the phone but he quickly stopped himself and called your number again.

He impatiently waited for your voice but heard your voicemail again. He let out another loud sigh and leaned against his chair, covering his face with one of his hands. He was getting fed up, why weren’t you answering?

He dropped his hands from his face and looked at Soap who was grinning widely. He let out a scoff and rolled his eyes with annoyance, “Yeah I’m marrying her today, not even a bloody congratulations?”

Soap scoffed as well and shook his head, “I wouldn’t compliment your choice mate and you know that” he said and sat down next to him, patting his shoulder “are you actually going through with this?”

He leaned back in his seat and avoided eye contact with Soap, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Why wouldn’t I?” He asked in a rough tone, “she’s the one I’m marrying in a couple of hours remember?”

Soap narrowed his eyes at him “because you haven’t slept at all, and you haven’t even spoken to your fiancé since yesterday” he said in a suspicious tone, he knew his friend well and knew that something was wrong.

He averted his gaze from Soap and clenched his jaw. He hadn’t spoken to her, he had called her multiple times but you weren’t answering him, which irritated him even more. He hated the fact that he was having second thoughts and he hated the fact that you still had such an effect on him. “I’m just stressed about the whole marriage situation.” He lied.

Soap chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest, “You, stressed? You’re one of the most calm and composed guys I know” he said in a disbelieving tone, he knew he was hiding something.

He let out a loud scoff and finally looked up at Soap, his expression still tense “even I can get stressed sometimes Soap. Can you just cut me some slack for now?”

Soap raised his hands in defense and gave him a smirk, “Alright mate settle down, was just messing with you” he said and gave him a playful pat on his shoulder “but seriously, are you alright?”

He inhaled a shaky breath and leaned his head back to rest on his chair. He had never opened up to anyone about something like that before. But Soap was his close friend and he trusted him the most out of everyone. He let out a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling “No, I’m not.” He admitted slowly.

“It’s shym.” He said bluntly

Soap’s eyebrows knotted together in confusion “shym? What about her?” He asked in disbelief.

He let out a tired exhale and closed his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair before looking at Soap “She just won’t leave my mind, every time I try to stop thinking about her she’s still there” he admitted, he felt relieved that he was finally telling someone about how he felt, especially Soap who was his best friend.

“You still love shym don’t you..” he said firmly

He stayed silent for a moment, his expression tense. He slowly looked up at Soap and nodded “yeah, I still love her, more than anyone in the world” he admitted in a firm tone “I never stopped loving her.”

Soap raised his eyebrows in surprise. Out of all the possibilities of why his friend was so distracted, he didn’t expect his to say that. “Then why are you marrying another woman?” He asked in disbelief.

Simon looked at soap “because I also love Mia, a lot.. and she’s a better option.”

Soap let out a scoff and rolled his eyes, “How the hell is she a better option? Mate, you’re marrying a woman that you don’t even love that much, instead of the woman you truly love, do you even hear yourself right now?”

He looked away and clenched his jaw stubbornly “Mia is everything I need. She doesn’t distract me with her stupidity, she actually supports me and is there for me. She’s everything I need” he said as he tried to convince himself it was the truth.

Soap rolled his eyes and stood up from his chair, “That’s such bullshit mate and you know it.” He said in an annoyed tone, “You can’t marry a woman that’s not the one that you truly love. Can’t you just pull your head out of your ass and admit that you love shym?”

“It’s already too late, shym left with no trace.. I said some hurtful stuff yesterday and no one can find her now..”

Soap’s eyes widened in surprise and his heart ached for his friend. He didn’t want to believe that it was already too late. He walked back towards him and placed his hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze “She can’t have disappeared like that, she must be somewhere..”

And now i returned to the hotel a coverup for a secret organization that trades and smuggles drugs and other stuff.

As you walked into the palace you saw many people who were close to your family or that you had done business with before. They all looked surprised but somewhat happy to see that you had returned. As soon as your father saw you, he exclaimed and spread his arms wide open before pulling you into a tight and emotional embrace.

“Family! My backbone has returned!”

All the people in the room clapped and cheered as you appeared. Your father kept his arm around your shoulders and held you close to him as he spoke out to everyone in the room. “My daughter has finally returned” he said in a proud tone, “I missed her so much, I cannot believe that she has returned to us, my family is finally reunited once more!”

PART 2 SOON

[moonstruckme]

tasm peter parker or james potter x anxious ! reader ??? i literally get so stressed and anxious at night that my heart starts beating rapidly and i can’t do anything let alone sleep 😭😭😭😭 wishing that i wasn’t all alone in this and had some company, but we can imagine ! 😭

Thank for requesting lovely

cw: symptoms of anxiety

tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 628 words

Peter’s hand stopped moving on your back a while ago. It now lays flat just below your left shoulder blade. You wonder if he can feel your heartbeat from back there. 

“Wanna try some more breaths?” he asks. His voice is soft with drowsiness. 

You inhale slowly, mostly in the hopes that your boyfriend will think you’re calming and he’ll fall asleep. But really, the achey, dissatisfying stretch of your lungs only makes you feel your thundering heartbeat more acutely. Every time you realize how much it hurts, it’s like an invisible boa constrictor wraps tighter around your chest. 

Peter starts rubbing your back again. 

“I don’t think this is sustainable,” you murmur. “You should go to sleep.” 

“What, and leave you by yourself?” he scoffs lightly. Your stomach sinks. If he was approaching sleep, you’ve brought him back. “Not a chance. But if you think it’s not working, we could watch a movie or something.” 

“No,” you say, though it does sound nice. The past couple of nights, you and Peter have cuddled up on the couch with a movie, and when you eventually get tired enough to fall asleep he brings you to bed. It works great for you; the catch is that then he’s the one staying up. 

It’s something about being in your bed, you think. It’s not an inherently unrelaxing place, but when you get into bed at night, the lights off and your home silent, suddenly dread is gripping you like a vice. Your thoughts go where you can’t stop them—you’re hardly quick enough to keep up at all—and before you know what’s happened your heart’s rattling your ribcage like it wants out and your eyes are glossy wet. 

“I don’t think it’s not working,” you tell him now, trying not to sound too hopeless, “I just don’t think it’s realistic for you to spend every night putting me to sleep like an infant.” 

Peter huffs a laugh. “C’mon, don’t be so fussy,” he teases. You pull back a little just so you can glare at him through the darkness. You’re pretty sure he can see you with that super vision of his, yet he chooses to ignore it. “You still wanna be my baby, right?” 

You try to groan, but a little bit of laugh makes it through. “Gross. Not like that.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Your boyfriend chuckles, encouraging you to do the same. Though it’s a begrudging sound, it does loosen something in your chest ever so slightly. “But hey, I don’t mind staying up with you. The anxiety is around going to sleep, right?” 

You hum. 

“Then we’ll give you some new feelings around going to sleep.” Peter leans forward, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. He says it like it’s easy. Like it’s a foregone conclusion, and even if it’s not he’ll just start trying the next thing. “We can do this. I’d rather be awake with you than asleep without you anyways.” 

You burrow in close to his chest. You can hear his heartbeat, steady and about twice as slow as yours. “That sounds like a cheesy line you got from a romcom,” you say, your voice inlaid with fondness. 

“Yeah, Sleepless in Seattle.” 

“Really?”

“Nope. Never seen it.” Peter gives your shoulder a firm scrub, and you can practically sense his smile as he lays another kiss on your head. “But it makes what we’re doing seem pretty romantic, huh?” 

If you asked the people who directed those movies, they’d probably be able to think of a million more romantic things you could be doing with your boyfriend than laying still in bed, whispering to each other and trying to outlast frantic thoughts. But to you, right now, it does seem pretty good. 

[grison-in-space]

Listening to Artificial Condition again, it strikes me how much Murderbot uses empathy reflexively as a survival skill. Look at this bit.

Upon meeting it, ART allows it on board and then announces that it knows that Murderbot is rogue. Then ART threatens to destroy it if it hacks ART's own systems. Murderbot is immediately terrified and shuts down all inputs, gives serious thought to spending the entire three month journey unconscious, and then considers the potential avenues of damage from ART's drones. ART, not realizing why Murderbot had suddenly gone silent, tells it to quit sulking, which understandably pisses off the still-terrified Murderbot. It dumps a bunch of memories of coercive treatment into ART's feed, and ART goes silent.

Then this happens:

Then it said, I’m sorry I frightened you. Okay, well. If you think I trusted that apology, you don’t know Murderbot. Most likely it was playing a game with me. I said, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want to ride to your next destination.” I’d explained that earlier, before it opened the hatch for me, but it was worth repeating. I felt it withdraw back behind its wall. I waited, and let my circulatory system purge the fear-generated chemicals. More time crawled by, and I started to get bored. Sitting here like this was too much like waiting in a cubicle after I’d been activated, waiting for the new clients to take delivery, for the next boring contract. If it was going to destroy me, at least I could get some media in before that happened. I started the new show again, but I was still too upset to enjoy it, so I stopped it and started rewatching an old episode of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon. After three episodes, I was calmer and reluctantly beginning to see the transport’s perspective. A SecUnit could cause it a lot of internal damage if it wasn’t careful, and rogue SecUnits were not exactly known for lying low and avoiding trouble. I hadn’t hurt the last transport I had taken a ride on, but it didn’t know that. I didn’t understand why it had let me aboard, if it really didn’t want to hurt me. I wouldn’t have trusted me, if I was a transport. Maybe it was like me, and it had taken an opportunity because it was there, not because it knew what it wanted.

The thing about Murderbot's survival is that it clearly involves quite a bit of negotiating with other constructs and bots. That's how it talks its way onto cargo hauler bots in the first place. It uses empathy--envisioning the emotional and cognitive context of the individuals it encounters--to work out what different kinds of people want, so that it can offer them fair trades. It also uses empathy to consider what humans might be looking for, so it can practice blending in and hide.

Murderbot would never have survived so long if it wasn't capable of assessing the individual desires of the people--human, bot, and construct--around it. It thinks about ART's probable fears and motivations so that it can consider whether ART is inherently an ongoing threat or a potential ally.

When your survival depends on evading detection, you get really good at assessing perceptual biases so that you can shape yourself to fit into them. People talk about murderbot being radically empathetic as a choice it makes, or as a feature of its personality that makes it a good person. But I think murderbot would be the the first person to tell you that this empathy is part of its threat assessment suite, a skill that was developed out of necessity in order to allow you to survive.

It is also a trait that makes murderbot a good person, of course: it chooses very carefully to try to survive by doing as little harm as possible and by offering things, like media, that buy it access to things it needs. But it started as a survival skill. It's part of hypervigilance.

I think one of the strengths of this series is that so many of the things we love about SecUnit are traits developed for survival in an inherently threatening world. The shape of its mind and heart have been changed by the trauma of its origin--but they don't make murderbot less good for being altered, even if that skill was developed in a traumatic context.

I like that.

[shomatoriashi]

09/13/24; 08:45pm

sung jinwoo x fem.reader

{ i’d wanna hold you just for a while | and die with a smile | if the world was ending | i’d wanna be next to you… }

you felt as though the world was ending when jinwoo left your side and went to fight the monarch of destruction. he had came to you just a mere day ago, keeping you company while in the safety of your apartment as various gates were seen opening all across the world.

whispered promises and vows of forever were exchanged between the two of you, with jinwoo keeping you safely tucked away within the confines of his arms. your anxieties had only managed to shoot through the roof when jinwoo told you how he had a plan to stop this war-

and bring everyone back.

but deep down, you knew that you were selfish-

that you would much rather keep jinwoo and have the whole world burn than to lose him.

yet you knew that jinwoo would never accept such a fate.

you knew that your beloved would always choose to protect others and shoulder the burden on his own.

when you tell him your fears, jinwoo only manages to give you a solemn smile, one that didn’t quite reach his ears, yet was evident of the love he held for you all the same. he allows your tears to stain at his shirt, gently speaking your name in hushed tones while holding you even closer to him. it was so obvious that you were the one he treasured the most, and everything that he did was to ensure your safety and happiness.

as the tears kept streaming down your face, jinwoo presses a searing kiss against your lips, swallowing all of your sadness and dread before whispering against your lips, “i’m happy… despite all my fears and uncertainty, i know that this is something that only i can do.”

you watch as his grey eyes shine with unshed tears from beneath the light of your apartment. feeling the pad of his thumb trace at your bottom lip, he murmurs before leaning down closer to you, “if the world was ending i’d want to be next to you… and die with a smile, because you were and always have been, the one who holds my heart- the one who is most dear to me.”

you allow jinwoo to comfort you for the remainder of the night, falling into a restless slumber as you were jolted awake from the sheer absence of him-

and the world thrown in complete and utter chaos.

surrounding you were casualties that you struggled to keep up with, your healing aura quickly losing its potency from the sheer amount of times you have used it on the other hunters-

yet your heart just wasn’t in it, for you were filled to the brim with anxiety, hoping and praying to catch a glimpse of your beloved once more.

your breathing becomes labored, feeling the blood of your fallen comrades staining at the fabric of your clothes. the losses you bore witness to made your throat clench, heart pounding as it filled you with complete and utter despair.

the tragedy of it all was what ultimately makes you fall to your knees, your powers growing weaker and weaker by the second as you struggled to heal an a-rank hunter. she was young, much too young to be suffering from such an intense amount of blood loss, yet you could see the light quickly beginning to dim from her eyes.

“n-no, w-wait! please, don’t close your eyes! ju-just—-!” you try to summon your mana once more, willing your healing aura to surround her like a shield when something distracts you from your periphery.

your eyes go wide, suddenly seeing an intense, golden light filling the entirety of your vision. all you could see was an almost heavenly hue that seemed to grow even brighter than the sun, engulfing you and the entirety of the world…

…

you wake up with a start, your mind going hazy as you struggled to remember what just happened in your dreams.

had the sunlight always been this painful to look at?

your thoughts, still in a bit of a daze, left you feeling a bit unsteady as you wake up in bed, looking around to see that you were in your room, with the scent of your mother’s cooking lingering in the air as your father’s heavy footsteps were heard throughout your apartment.

knocks were heard at your door before opening, revealing your dad with his crooked tie and kind smile. “hey kiddo, it’s time to wake up and get ready. it’s your first day back at school, and mom made an amazing spread for us both.”

“r-really? okay!” deciding not to dwell on your weird dreams, you hop out of bed with a bounce in your step. brushing out the tangles in your hair, you head inside your bathroom and got ready for the day while doing your usual morning routine. and by the time you had finished using the bathroom and got dressed in your school uniform, you had already forgotten all about the dream.

your appetite seemed to be ravenous, with you filling your plates with copious amounts of eggs, sausages, and pancakes. as your dad read the morning paper between sips of his coffee, he looks back at you and chuckles, “whoa kiddo, what’s the matter? you seem much hungrier than usual.”

“indeed, sweetheart. did you not eat enough last night?” your mom calls back to you while washing the dishes. you give your parents a sheepish smile, taking a bite out of your sausage while shrugging, “s-sorry, i guess i can’t help it.”

“of course! you are a growing girl after all.” your heart fills with warmth, feeling the love grow for your parents as you finished up your breakfast. as you hand your empty plate to your mom, a sudden knock was heard at your door. with your bag in hand, your dad walks with you toward the front door. “ah, as punctual as always, that jinwoo. it feels as though he’s got a bit of a crush on you.”

you blink, somehow feeling your heart lurch within your chest at the sound of the familiar name. “jinwoo?”

“he’s your best friend, remember? ah, perhaps you’ve been sleeping a bit too soundly as of late.” your dad answers the door, and you saw a tall boy standing outside of your apartment. the sight of his seemingly perfect face makes your heart skip beats, making you take him in as you stared incredulously back at him.

with soft, ebony locks of hair that fell across his face coupled along with kind, grey eyes and a jawline that appeared too sharp be real-

jinwoo was certainly a sight to behold.

“hey.” he greets you with that same, lingering smile, and despite how you still felt like you were in a daze-

your heart knew that it belonged to him.

with one final goodbye, your father allows jinwoo to take your hand, walking out of your apartment complex with you as a smile graces his handsome features. “you okay? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

jinwoo teases you while pinching at your cheeks, earning a pout from you. with a sigh of his name, you purposely ran your hips into his, making him lose his balance for a couple of seconds all while scoffing. “hey! that was not funny! i could have face planted against the concrete!”

you giggle, somehow finding comfort within this banter. although you felt… strange… feeling as though you were reliving your adolescent years, you decided to ignore the lingering sense of deja vu and simply bask in this moment. you stick your tongue out at jinwoo, running ahead of him just to see if he would catch you.

you watch as he rolls his eyes, adjusting his hold on his backpack before taking advantage of his long legs, reaching you in a few strides before capturing you within his embrace. your laughter echoes across the city, with jinwoo holding you close his chest. “i’ve caught you now… and you’ll never be able to be free of me.”

your giggles continue to fill at the air, and when you try to free yourself from jinwoo’s grasps, he simply tightens his hold around your form. you blink back at him, your gaze seeming to silently question him as he looks back at you.

his eyes were solemn, but beneath those deep, grey eyes was an emotion that was brimming beneath the surface, the sight of it all managing to make your heart seem to race even faster beneath your chest. you watch as jinwoo leans closer, just to whisper in your ear,

“if the world was ending, i’d want to be next to you.”

as soon as that whisper was heard, he suddenly smiles back at you, finally letting you go, but not before interlocking his fingertips with yours. “come on, let’s go to school.”

jinwoo begins to hum, yet your mind couldn’t stop replaying those words he had just whispered to you just mere seconds ago. as you look down at your interlocked hands, you call out to him, “uhm, jinwoo?”

“hm?” he meets your gaze from his periphery, and you could feel the heat against your cheeks.

“do we- i mean… do you know me from somewhere or sometime in the past?”

his eyes go wide, your question seeming to catch him off guard for a brief moment before he smiles. with a strength you didn’t think jinwoo had, he pulls you even closer to him, placing a kiss against your cheek as you felt your heart soar in response to his next words:

“of course… to me, we are, and always have been, two souls who were always meant to be together.”

end notes: i wanted to write something quick and fluffy for jinwoo, my beloved hubby and favorite boy of all time 😭 so have this quick drabble ♡ 🥹

all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!

[lovelettersforthedamned]

PETER TAKING CARE OF DRUNK!READER PLS

You’re Drunk, And He’s In Love

--genre + trope: FLUFF, sfw.

--pairing: frat!tasm!peter parker x college!gn!reader

--word count: 0.9k

--warnings: mentions of alcohol, consumption of alcohol, reader throws up (womp womp), the smallest angst ever (still wondering if angst is even in this...), FLUFF, peter loves reader so much!!!

A loud thump shocks Peter out of his relaxed state, the sound coming from downstairs. Knowing that no one is home, he makes his way out of his room. Ascending the stairs, he’s silent, waiting to see if he can hear the noise again. Hearing nothing, he twists the lock and pulls the fraternity’s front door open. 

A quick glance outside proves that there is nothing, but then he looks down. There you are, lying across the doorstep, a drunken smile written all across your face. Looking up through your eyelashes your eyes light up at the sight of your boyfriend, “Hi, Petey!”

He squats down to grasp under your arms. Pulling you up, he wonders where all this sudden dead weight came from. Once you’re standing (more like leaning), he finally greets you, “Hey, bug. What are you doing here?”

“I was at this party over there,” you point behind you, “and then…I realized that I’d be having way more fun with you, so…I walked over, and now I’m here!”

Throughout your rambling he closed the door behind you, starting to make his way up the stairs with you by his side. Following your last sentence, he stops dead in his tracks, “Wait, how far did you walk?”

“Uhh, I-I’m not sure…but, I made it,” your memory is spotty. If you were sober, you could’ve heard how Peter’s question was more serious than you realized. Oblivious, it passes over your head.  

He decides to let it go, choosing to focus on your current state, “C’mon let’s go to bed, bug.” Wobbly nodding your head, you follow Peter’s lead up the stairs and to his room. 

Falling back onto the familiar sheets of his bed, you mentally declare that this is heaven on earth. You bask in the feeling, even in your hazy state, you know for a fact that you want to stay here forever if you could. Your bliss is interrupted by a very cold cloth on your face. Apparently, your confusion is quite apparent in your features, as a breathy chuckle escapes Peter’s lips. 

“If I didn’t do this you would be so pissed at me in the morning. You don’t need to be angry and have a hangover,” Peter is quickly pleading his case as you open your eyes to see him bunch up a, now dirty, makeup wipe in his hands. Tossing it in the trash, he stands and makes his way to his dresser, rummaging through an extensive collection of shirts. When he finally finds one, he tosses it on the bed next to you, walking back to you shortly after to stand between your legs that have been hanging off the bed. 

He extends his hands towards you, even going so far as to wiggle his fingers, hoping that his actions will convince you to sit up, “Do you want to stay in your clothes, or do you want to actually get comfortable?”

You groan as you lift your arms up to grab his hands. As soon as you make contact with his touch, he wastes no time in pulling you up to meet his chest. Still holding your hands, he kneels down to start undoing your shoes. Now that you’re sitting up, the spins hit you, and they hit you hard. 

Peter has been looking down, working at your shoes when he feels a hand slap down on his shoulder. He looks up immediately, his face plagued with concern, “You alright, baby?” Your other hand rises to hold your mouth as you shake your head, and that is all Peter needs to rush you to his bathroom. 

The sight is far from pretty, but Peter doesn’t care. He’s holding your hair up with one hand as his other is making slow circles on your back, letting you spill tonight's contents into the toilet bowl. 

You haven’t been there for a long time. The feeling of nausea passes after a good five minutes. Originally Peter was just going to get you changed and bring you to bed, but now he knows that you need a hot shower to wash off the feeling of being sick from your mind and your body. 

He reaches over to flush the toilet before carefully lowering the toilet seat cover and pulling you off your knees to sit on the ceramic, brushing the tears that escaped your eyes off your warm cheeks, “Let’s get you in the shower, my love.”

Everything Peter does, he does it with care. Especially when it came to you. 

While in the shower with you, he knows that in the morning you’ll be extremely apologetic and embarrassed. But what he also knows is that he’d do that one hundred times again just to know that you’re safe. He can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if you hadn’t come to him tonight. It honestly scares the shit out of him at the thought of you being this vulnerable at a party, alone. 

He knows that you can handle yourself, there’s no doubt about it. He can see you brushing off your feelings just for the sake of not ruining the party. 

He almost prides himself in the thought of you feeling this comfortable around him, because there isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for you. So when you wake up and ask him to grab an Advil for your killer headache, he’ll do it in a heartbeat. 

--author's note: honestly, i love a good drunk!reader or drunk!peter fic. there's nothing like caring for someone despite their drunkenness. i keep writing everyone to be slightly sassy...LMAO. WHOOPSIE!!! thank you for liking, commenting, and reblogging!!! my asks/inbox is opennnn, so send in requests if you feel like it babes. ok, bye ily<33

[paddockletters]

one last chance | jude bellingham

second part of echoes of him pairing: jude bellingham x reader summary: After a twist of fate reunites y/n with Jude, she finds herself torn between old feelings and new challenges as they attempt to rebuild their once fragile bond.

I found myself drawn back to the park—the place Jude and I had always gone when life felt too overwhelming. The place where we’d laughed, fought, made up, and broken down. Every corner held a memory, every bench a moment we couldn’t forget. Today, it felt like a place I came to confront myself. I needed clarity, but all I had was a heavy heart and a million questions.

The days after that night at Toby’s had been a blur. I went through the motions, met Jake for lunch, and responded to his texts, but my mind was elsewhere. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Jude—his face, his words, the tension crackling between us. No matter how hard I tried to shake it, it lingered, like an unfinished song stuck on repeat.

Jake, in his usual caring way, hadn’t noticed my distraction. Or if he had, he wasn’t saying anything. It made the guilt even worse. He didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark, but how could I tell him the truth when I wasn’t even sure what it was?

I sat there, staring blankly at the ground when I heard footsteps approaching. I didn’t need to look up to know who it was. There was something about Jude’s presence—he always seemed to fill the space around him, making it impossible to ignore him even when I wanted to.

“You keep running here when things get tough, huh?” His voice was low, teasing, but there was a seriousness behind his words that I couldn’t miss.

I swallowed, my throat tight. “Maybe I just like the quiet.”

Jude sat beside me on the bench, his usual confidence replaced by something more hesitant.

“Is that why you’re here, y/n? For the quiet? Or are you here because of me?”

I closed my eyes, the weight of his question pressing down on me. I didn’t want to admit the truth, didn’t want to say aloud what I’d been avoiding since the night at Toby’s. But Jude wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easily.

“Look at me,” he said softly, his hand reaching for mine. His touch was warm, familiar, and it made my heart ache in ways I hadn’t expected. “You know we’ve never been good at hiding from each other.”

“Why are you doing this, Jude? Why now?” I sighed, my voice barely a whisper.

“Because I can’t stand seeing you with him,” Jude admitted, his voice raw. “I can’t stand knowing that I let you slip away when I never stopped loving you.”

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I pulled my hand away, standing up abruptly.

“This isn’t fair! You don’t get to just come back into my life and say things like that!”

Jude stood too, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I know it’s not fair, but when has anything between us ever been fair? We’re a mess, y/n, but we’re our mess. And I can’t keep pretending like I’m okay with you being with someone else when I’m not.”

I turned away, wiping the tears that had started to fall.

“What am I supposed to do, Jude? You left. You were the one who walked away.”

“I know,” he said, his voice breaking. “And I hate myself for it. But I’m here now. I’m trying to fix it.”

“Fix it?” I laughed bitterly. “You can’t just show up and expect everything to go back to the way it was.”

“I don’t expect that,” Jude replied quickly. “But I also know that what we had was real. It still is. And I think you know that too.”

“You can’t just come back into my life, drop that on me, and expect me to just—what? Choose you? After everything?” I turned to face him, anger and hurt swirling inside me.

“Why not?” he asked, stepping closer, his eyes dark with emotion. “Why not choose me?”

“Because it’s not that simple!” I shouted, my voice cracking. “I’m with Jake now. He’s good for me. He’s—” I stopped, my words faltering. He’s safe. He’s steady. He’s not you.

“Jake’s not the problem, y/n. He’s a good guy, I’m sure. But you’re with him because it’s easy. Because it’s not complicated. But does he make you feel alive?” Jude’s jaw tightened.

I hated him for asking that. I hated him because he was right. Jake was safe, but Jude—Jude made my heart race, made me feel things I wasn’t ready to confront. It wasn’t fair, not to Jake, not to anyone, but the truth was there, undeniable.

“What do you want from me, Jude?” Tears blurred my vision as I whispered.

He reached out, gently cupping my face in his hands, his touch soft but full of urgency.

“I want you to stop lying to yourself. I want you to admit that you’re still in love with me.”

“Jude…” I shook my head, my tears spilling over.

Before I could finish, he kissed me—soft at first, then deeper, more intense, as if he was pouring everything he couldn’t say into that one kiss. And damn it, I kissed him back. For a moment, everything else fell away. The confusion, the guilt, the fear—it all disappeared, leaving only the two of us and the undeniable connection that had always been there.

When we finally pulled apart, I was breathless, my heart racing. I stared at him, my mind a whirlwind of emotions.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered, stepping back, my head spinning. “This isn’t fair to Jake.”

“I know,” Jude said softly, his voice full of regret. “But it’s not fair to either of us if we keep pretending.”

I turned away, my chest heaving with sobs I was trying to hold back.

“What do you want me to do, Jude? Just break his heart? Leave him?”

“If you’re not in love with him, then yes,” Jude said, his voice steady but full of pain. “Because staying with him when your heart isn’t his—that’s not fair to him either.”

I knew he was right. Deep down, I knew. But it didn’t make it any easier.

That night, I made the hardest decision of my life. Breaking things off with Jake was brutal. He didn’t understand, and how could he? I barely understood it myself. The look of hurt in his eyes when I told him I wasn’t in love with him was something I’d never forget.

“I thought we were good together,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought you were happy.”

“I was,” I admitted, tears streaming down my face. “But it’s not enough, Jake. You deserve someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.”

He didn’t say anything, just nodded, his face a mixture of sadness and confusion. It was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

After the call, I felt hollow. I’d hurt someone I cared about deeply, and the weight of that guilt was crushing. But beneath it all, there was also a strange sense of relief. Like a burden I didn’t even know I was carrying had finally been lifted.

When I turned to find Jude waiting outside my apartment, his expression was a mixture of hope and apprehension. He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand, silencing him.

“Just… hold me,” I whispered.

And without another word, he pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as the weight of everything settled around us. It wasn’t going to be easy—nothing about us ever was—but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t running anymore.

We stood there, in the quiet of the night, and I knew. I’d chosen Jude—chaos and all—because no matter how much it hurt, no matter how messy things got, he was the one person who made me feel alive.

And that was something I couldn’t escape, even if I tried.

[mrinafria]

And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you. (CoS)

[contains spoilers; tw: blood]

When they ask me about the purest love story out there, I'd show them these two.

It's not the sacrifice per se that makes it great for me, it's the way they feel about each other, about the love they give and receive. Even in their last/worst moments, they somehow find the courage because the other one is safe? Im Sol is scared out of her mind handling this traumatic ordeal on her own so she seeks help from the detectives. Her only peace of mind is that at least Seon Jae is safe. Then she learns about his phone call and doesn't spare a second to run. The same girl who was so scared a while back throws all caution out of the window the moment Seon Jae is in danger, because she'd risk her life than Seon Jae's. Can you imagine the trauma seeing him dying for the third time, and her actually witnessing it this time around? If I were Im Sol, I would do anything to not have to go through that too. Even if it meant losing the person so they were never my person to begin with.

And Seon Jae. Boy is dying. Dying. You can see it in his eyes that he's aware of it too and yet, he is so grateful? So at peace with himself and with life? Like he has no regrets about any unfinished business, unlived years, unattained dreams, unspoken words to his loved ones. He already told Im Sol he loved her, and she reciprocated. That was enough. For him, that was good enough.

I go back to this scene like a masochist because THE DETAILS. By the time Im Sol arrives, you know Seon Jae is beyond saving. He knows it too. He's not even trying to escape or save himself. It looks like he's been holding on on his own for a while. His face has turned ashen, breathing uneven, hands slightly shaking. He's barely holding it together. Barely there.

However, he is not trying to push that guy away or take that knife out.

Instead, he's holding that guy's hand.

Let that sink in for a moment.

He is holding on to that hand. JUST SO HE CAN HOLD ON TO THE GUY.

Since the taxi driver is at an advantage here, and Seon Jae knows he cannot fight back anymore, so he is using whatever he can as a last resort to keep the guy occupied with him, and keep him from going after Im Sol. Seon Jae could perhaps guess Im Sol would arrive any time since the cliff was where he'd found her earlier, sitting in shock. But even if she didn't make it, you can bet he'd have spent his last breaths trying to fall off the cliff taking the guy down with him. THIS SCENE. The resolution is so clearly etched on his face.

And then he sees her. And the detectives. She is safe. She is saved. He did it. He saved her. And it's the Im Sol who knows him, who recognizes him, who loves him. She is safe, and that's all that matters. He saved the person he loves more than his life, literally.

His job is done. The choice he made gave him the outcome he wanted and desperately fought for.

And he is exhausted. All that resolve took a lot out of him. So we see his body finally giving up, him finally letting go. He resigns to his fate, but also not in a resentful way. He knew this was his fate all along (because no matter what choice Im Sol made, he'd choose to run toward her any day), it just happened earlier than expected. But he knew it, and he still made that choice. He doesn't regret it because he'd be making the same choice in every timeline (as he has been). He is able to see his Im Sol for one last time before his eyes close, with memories of their time together and Im Sol's voice echoing in his ears, his soul.

Sometimes you know the consequences, but make the same choice anyway. Because you like it.

The faint smile on his face in his final moments before he falls off the cliff? You'd think the boy won a gold medal for swimming or something. It's like he's achieved the biggest purpose there was in his life besides loving Im Sol. True to his words, he is grateful Im Sol exists in the world. That he got the chance to love her because she exists in this world. And he is thankful he gets to leave the world knowing Im Sol still exists in the world, his gift from the heavens.

One is jumping through space and time, living the same nightmare, constantly, over and over again, and yet going out of her way to save her love. Even if it means carrying the trauma and heartbreak and pain and loneliness and longing of three, four, multiple timelines, for the same guy. The other is making the choice to love her through all the storm, all the warnings, all the odds of time and space and fate stacked against him. How could you be so brave when fate is both so very kind and yet so extremely cruel to you no matter what you do? How do you choose to persevere? How do you get to have a love so pure?

Should I be ready to die if I want to be with you? - Ryu Seon Jae

[b2cute]

A Broken Promise

chris x fem!reader

warnings: none, fluff, pet names, that’s it enjoy :)

word count: 845

*y/n’s pov*

it was 11:00 pm and i was just about finished doing my skincare. i threw on an oversized black t-shirt and some boxers to go along with it. chris was out with friends and wasn’t going to be back for a little while. i promised him i’d stay up so i decided to just finish my nighttime routine and chill in the living room till he got home.

i head upstairs to the kitchen and microwave leftover cookies from earlier. i pour some chocolate milk to the side and head to the living room. as i choose a movie to watch, i grab a white fluffy blanket next to the couch. the movie begins and i snuggle up under the blanket and snack on my cookies. 45 minutes in, my eyes begin to feel heavy. i was getting groggy after being spread out on the long end of the couch, not to mention the house was freezing but i was too lazy to get up.

grabbing another pillow next to me for warmth, i rest my head to the side of the couch and close my eyes for a couple seconds. a few minutes of rest couldn’t hurt right?

*chris’s pov*

it was starting to get late at sam’s when matt and nick decided it was time to go home. i didn’t want to leave, but for the sake of my brothers i didn’t put up a fight. we say our goodbyes and begin to head out. walking down the steps, i decide to check my phone.

2:18 a.m

shit. i completely lost track of time and i begged y/n to wait up on me. i climb into the van and buckle my seatbelt, immediately calling y/n.

no answer.

one more time.

no answer.

“everything alright, chris” matt questions. he must’ve noticed i was feeling off when i decided to give nick aux and began subconsciously nibbling on my nails. i let out a nod and stare out the window, eager to get back to y/n. she could be kidnapped , or killed. my mind races to a million bad outcomes and my leg bounced up and down like a kangaroo.

after what seems like a road trip, matt finally pulls into the house. he drops me off from the car in the driveway so i can quickly get into the house while him and nick go back to park the car in the garage. i run up the steps and grab the keys from my pocket and fiddle with the lock.

*click*

the door unlocks. i head inside and shut the door behind me, locking it again. kicking my shoes off, i head upstairs to the living room. the nerves in my body immediately escape when i spot y/n, peacefully sleeping on the couch. she was sprawled out and her hair was a mess, but she still looked beautiful. her eyes were shut and her mouth was parted slightly. i smiled to myself and a warm feeling overcame me.

i head over her direction and notice y/n’s body shivering. i remove the blanket from her possession and pick her up in my arms, bridal style. a groan escapes her lips and she mumbles something inaudible and wraps her arms around my neck. i bend my neck down slightly to plant a peck on her soft head and she just snuggles her head into my chest. i can’t help but feel bad for standing her up.

we head downstairs to my room and i turn on my skylight. i place y/n into the covers as i go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. i come back to see her knocked out under the covers. soft snores are leaving her slightly-parted mouth and her hair covers one side of her face. i walk over to her side and place her phone to the charger and put it on dnd for her. whenever she falls asleep i always snap a picture, this time i took one of me with my tongue out and winking. i laugh to myself as i out the phone down and walk over to my side of the bed. crawling under the covers, y/n wastes no time hovering towards me. she wraps her arms around my torso and throws a leg over mine. he head nuzzles into my neck and she plants kisses there.

“sorry i made you wait ma, i lost track of time i didn’t mean to” i whisper brushing her hair out her face. she hums in responds and plants another kiss on my neck for reassurance. “i love you doll you know that. it won’t happen again.” i tell her. she was still in the same position when i hear her mumble “it’s okay chris.”

i chuckled at the tiredness of her voice and wrap my arms around her, holding her tight. she lightly breathes into my neck, letting a cool air onto it as i feel my eyes getting heavy. after a few moments, we drift off to bed holding eachother and sleeping the night away.

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