#if i can't have dignity at least i have something to read

[cherrylovelycherry]

ratio angst ratio angst ratio angst x female reader pretty pretty please

.note. you asked for it and here it is! (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)

𓂅new order. "tarte aux fraises and a pain au chocolat."

Fiancé

pairing. dr ratio x fem!reader cw/genre. angst, arguments, ratio being a jerk, some comfort, mentions of loss/miscarriage, more angst synopsis. you love your fiancé after all, right?… right? full menu

Of course another day you both are bickering...again.

He was reading some boring books about a topic he's interested in when he noticed you walking near him, and as usual his eyes are already trained on you, but he just continues reading, acting as if he's not even noticing you right at that moment.

Yet his mind is slowly shifting its attention towards you, and of course he can't deny how annoyed he feels because of the fact that you both just had another stupid argument, and because of his proud and fucking logical personality of his, he just couldn't bring himself to approach you or say anything after what he said to you.

And his stoic face just remains unreadable at that moment, continuing to read his book but his mind is now elsewhere and thinking of.. you. Or at least is what you want to think.

After taking a good look at you, he spoke.

"Did you needed something?"

The question came out in an indifferent tone to him, as if he doesn't even care and is just asking you just because he felt like it. His eyes still on the book.

He heard you let out a deep huff, which makes him internally roll his eyes.

He heard you mumbling something under your breath, which didn't go unnoticed by him, and he finally put down the book on his lap, lifting his gaze up so he can look at you now.

"What was that? Care to speak up?"

He questioned in a cold tone, his eyes not leaving yours, watching how your expression changed immediately as soon as his gaze is now on you. He patiently waited for your next words, and all that he can think about was how you two just had a trivial argument and here you are again, just.. bicker like you always do.

"Could you prepare me something to eat?" You dared to speak, raising your voice a little more.

He was always the one who cooked, but not because you don't know how to cook, or well, you know the basics, almost little, it was because you are afraid of fire.

It wasn't even a surprise to him on how you're acting right now.

He rolled his eyes at you.

"No."

He replied shortly, his tone blunt and cold. He then picked the book up and resumed his reading, acting as if he could care less about your presence right at the moment.

If you wanted to eat anything, you'd have to make it yourself. He was not going to give in that easily.

Your heart sank at his cold response.

You couldn't believe how unreasonable he was being.

"Please. I'm hungry." You tried again, not in a demanding voice, but in a pleading one, hoping that he would give in, but knowing him, he probably won't.

He let out a sigh, as if your plea had annoyed him more than it should. He closed the book and put it away from his lap, his eyes now looking up at you.

"If you're hungry, you should learn how to fix yourself something to eat." He said in a cold tone.

Your face fell at his response.

You just wanted a meal, just a little bit of kindness.

"But I don't know how."

You mumbled quietly, your head hanging low.

"It's time you learn. Or just starve. I don't care."

His tone was firm, showing no sign of sympathy or empathy towards you and your situation.

Your heart clenches at his words.

You could feel your heart tightening in your chest, feeling as if you can't breathe for a moment.

Collecting your little dignity left at the time, you went to another part of the department. Just come back a few minutes later.

You slowly approached where he was sitting, now checking his phone.

And just as you opened your mouth to say something, he spoke first.

"I'm busy,"

"Please, Veritas."

You said in a pleading voice, hoping that he'd at least show a little bit of mercy.

But of course, he just shook his head and looked at you with a cold, emotionless gaze.

"And I told you, no. Stop being so dependent."

"But-" You were about to protest.

He was being cold again.

"No buts. My answer is final." He retorted in a stern tone, interrupting you once again before you could even say anything more.

Of course he'd be like this.

Your heart sank. You felt the lump on your throat forming.

"You need to learn to be independent and stop depending on me for every damn thing. It's not my job to feed you. You're not a child anymore."

He said, his tone cold and firm.

You sighed again and left the living room, just to go to your shared room.

You thought for a few more minutes, it wasn't the best idea, but you were really hungry. So you grabbed your cell phone and opened the fast meals home app.

You were choosing a good choice of the big variety.

As you were on the bed, choosing, you heard footsteps approaching the room, and soon enough the door opened slowly.

There, you saw your boyfriend leaning against the frame, looking at you. He had a bored expression on his face.

"What are you doing?"

Damn, he even followed you to the room?

You hesitated for a moment, you didn't want him to question you right now.

But you knew you had no choice, he already found out.

"Ordering food," you muttered quietly, avoiding his gaze.

He was silently studying your face for a moment, his eyes scanning your expression and body language, and for some reasons, he looked a bit annoyed.

He approached the bed and skillfully removed your phone from your hands

"It's a bad way to spend our money," he said.

"Go, cook you something," he added, as he left the room, with your phone.

You felt your heart sink deeper again. That hurt.

He wasn't being caring, he didn't even care about you. He was being rude and cold as usual, just when you expected him to show a little understanding, even just a little bit.

You bit your lower lip.

Of course, he wasn't going to allow you to order food. You should've known better.

He knew you had a hard time being in the kitchen, and he still has the audacity to do this.

You sat there for a long time, before finally deciding to get up and go to the kitchen. You wanted to prove to him that you could do it, that you weren't incompetent.

You entered the kitchen with a heavy heart.

As you look around the kitchen, you were slightly overwhelmed with the task at hand. You were unsure of what to make, and you felt your stomach rumble with hunger.

You wanted to cry in frustration.

You opened the fridge, looking for anything that was easy enough for you to make. But the more time you spent looking, the more intimidated you felt.

As your eyes scanned the various ingredients, you let out a deep sigh. You had no idea what to do.

For once, you just wish he could've helped you, or at least not be such a cold jackass when you needed him to.

You took longer than you expected, even having to clean up the big mess you had done in the kitchen.

With a knot in your chest and throat, you walked to the table with the plate in your hand.

It was the most horrible thing you've ever seen and done.

It didn't even look like food, much less edible.

But you had no choice.

You sat at the table, while you ate what you had prepared.

You couldn't help but feel ridiculous.

Your blurred view made it almost impossible to see what was on the plate, while you occasionally felt your salty tears while taking bites of food.

Was this his way of punishing you for the fight you two had?

As you ate, your mind drifted to the moment you and him had argued.

You knew it was a stupid fight, over something silly as always. You both always argued over small things, and it always ended with him being cold and aloof, and you feeling frustrated and upset.

You wondered if you two would ever be able to go back to how you were in the beginning.

The days when he was sweeter and more affectionate, the days when arguments were rare, and the days when you felt truly loved and appreciated by him.

You were deep in your thoughts when you heard a phone ringing, bringing you back to reality.

It was coming from the living room, probably his.

But as you were about to get up, you heard your boyfriend walking towards the kitchen instead.

He was holding his phone in his hand, and he looked slightly surprised when he saw you.

He approached the table and sat in the chair opposite you.

He leaned his elbows on the table, still holding the phone, and he gave you a strange look.

The expression on his face was unreadable to you.

His reddish eyes scanned you, taking in how you looked.

You must look awful right now.

You are still crying, your eyes were probably red and swollen, and you were sure your face was a mess.

He didn't say anything at first. He just looked at you, his gaze flickering from your face to the plate in front of you.

You could tell he noticed the mess you had made in the kitchen, probably because you can't cook properly, a fact that he's well aware of.

He still wasn't saying anything.

His eyes still on you.

You felt his gaze, you could feel it burning through you.

Eventually, he broke the silence that was hanging in the air.

"You tried cooking, huh?" He said in a low, unreadable tone.

His tone was neutral, but you could sense a hint of something in it, but you couldn't quite tell if it was surprise, mocking, or something else.

You nodded in response, still trying to hold back your tears.

There was another moments of silence, as his eyes never left your face.

You were going to eat another bite of the raw, burnt food on your plate, but before you could, Ratio got up from his seat, grabbing your plate and fork and taking it to the kitchen.

When he did that, you didn't even look at him, you just looked at the table.

You were biting your lip so that the sobs wouldn't come out of your mouth.

'How humiliating,' you thought.

You stayed silently in your seat, hearing Ratio move around in the kitchen.

You were going to get up from the chair, it was already a few minutes and at least you wanted to go to your room.

But before you could get up from the table, he walked back into the kitchen and placed a plate of food in front of you.

You could smell the good food from the plate he had put in front of you.

His expression was not one of indifference as it often was, but there was something else.

You knew how to recognize that expression.

He didn't say anything, but the way he looked at you, it was different. There was a hint of guilt in his eyes. He looked almost hesitant.

He sat on the chair next to you.

"Eat, don't cry anymore," he said, while with one of his thumbs he wiped your wet cheek.

His gesture had surprised you.

You didn't expect him to be so sweet, especially since he had been so cold just a few moments earlier.

His hand lingered on your cheek for a few moments, but then he moved his hand away, still looking at you.

You nodded, swallowing a sob.

You loved your fiancé.

Fuck.

You two just had an argument in the middle of the street.

Why did this always happen?

It was a shameful thing to feel the glances of strangers walking near where you were.

You were both arguing loudly in the middle of the street, and passers-by couldn't help but look at you with surprise or annoyance.

They could probably feel the tension between you two.

Ratio had his usual expressionless expression on his face, while you were gesticulating and getting more and more frustrated.

"I don't understand why you can't just-!"

"I've told you time and time again-!"

You both were interrupting each other and not letting each other finish.

You could feel the eyes of the passers-by on you, some even stopped to watch the scene.

You were sure that you both looked like a couple of idiots fighting in the middle of the street.

"I don't care!"

You raised your voice and crossed your arms.

Ratio looked at you with irritation, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Stop being so stubborn."

He replied, his tone firm and cold.

"I'm not being stubborn, you just won't listen to me!"

You protested.

After one more exchange of words, you and he remained silent.

The cold air grazed your face.

The silence between you was deafening.

It felt like hours since either of you spoke, the only sound between you was the soft hum of the air.

Your heart was racing, you could hear your own breathing.

He was just staring directly at you, his unreadable expression.

You didn't want to say anything, but you were forced to do it, because you two still couldn't go home.

"We need to buy groceries," you said, without gesticulating the words too much.

Ratio clenched his jaw slightly, but he didn't say anything.

Instead, he started walking, passing by you without saying a word.

You sighed, following him closely.

The atmosphere between you remained tense and silent as you both walked to the nearby store.

The walk to the store was uncomfortable and silent.

You two just walk side by side, not saying anything or making eye contact.

But you felt his presence next to you.

He had his hands in his pockets, and he look straight ahead, his expression impassive.

As you two approached the store, you suddenly felt his hand brush against yours.

His touch was fleeting, and it was almost like it was an accident.

You were surprised by the touch, but you didn't pull away.

For a brief moment, his fingers gently grazed the back of your hand, and you felt a slight shiver run down your spine.

But as soon as it happened, he quickly withdrew his hand, putting it back in his pocket. He didn't look at you, his face completely impassive.

You felt a bit confused by his sudden gesture.

You glimpse at him from the corner of your eye, trying to see if he had done it intentionally or if it had been an accident.

His expression was still the same.

You were so damn weak for him.

When you two got to the grocery store, you started grabbing some products.

You both were silent, still not speaking as you moved around the store.

You tried to focus on shopping and not on the tension between you two.

As you walked together down one of the aisles, he suddenly spoke.

"We're out of coffee mix," he said in a low, cold tone.

You looked at him, noticing the way his eyes glanced at you for a moment.

That was the first thing he'd said since the argument.

You thought for a moment before answering.

"Yeah, I know," you replied quietly.

There was a noticeable lack of warmth and affection in your tone.

The air between you was still tense, the argument still unresolved and both of you still upset with each other.

As you two walked past the coffee aisle, you noticed how his eyes shifted to the small coffee packets.

He looked at them for a moment, a flicker of thought in his eyes.

For your part, you took a brand of coffee that you liked before you did the action of placing it in the shopping cart.

However, before you could put the coffee mix into the cart, Ratio snatched it from your hand.

He look at the packaging of the item for a moment, his eyes scanning the label.

"This one is too sweet," he said, still holding the packet in his hand.

You couldn't help rolling your eyes.

"I like it," you said in a defiant tone.

He ignored your reply and put the packet back on the shelf.

Instead, he recorded another packet from the shelf that was next to it.

It was a darker, stronger-looking mix than the one you wanted.

"This one is better," he said bluntly.

You grabbed another packet of the shelf by putting it in the shopping cart.

"We agreed that we were going to take turns for the brand," you said, trying to close the issue.

Ratio glanced at the packet you had put in the cart, and he frowned.

He grabbed it from the cart and put it back on the shelf.

"If I hadn't made you remember that we're out of coffee, you wouldn't care," he said, placing the instant coffee brand he liked in the cart.

You felt a sense of irritation rise up in you.

Why couldn't he accept your option when it was your turn to choose?

"Veritas, it's my turn to choose," you said firmly. "You should respect that."

Ratio just looked at you with a cold expression, as he put another packet of that coffee mix in the cart.

"I'm not going to waste money on a bad product," he said bluntly.

'He's behaving like this just because of the argument?', you thought.

You were starting to become frustrated with the whole situation.

First the unresolved argument in the middle of the street, and now he was acting like an annoying child just because he didn't like your coffee choice.

"You're behaving like a child," you said, looking straight at him.

His eyes met yours, and there was a hint of irritation in his expression.

"I'm not the one being ridiculous right now," he replied, his tone cold.

You took your hand to the bridge of your nose, sighing exasperately.

"You know what? Fine, choose that one."

Then you put the brand of coffee you liked inside the cart. "I'm going to pay for this with my money," you said, as you closed the conversation.

You knew it was a waste to buy two different brands of coffee, but you weren't going to fall behind on this.

Ratio looked annoyed by your stubbornness, but he didn't say anything.

You both walked in silence down the aisle looking for the remaining items.

The tension between you two was still palpable, and the air felt thick.

You glimpse at him from the corner of your eye, noticing how he was avoiding looking at you directly.

He looked slightly irked, his jaw clenched slightly.

You felt a bit annoyed seeing his expression, but you wouldn't say anything about it.

He had started all this.

Once you two finished shopping, you left the grocery store, handing out the bags to load, as you had never been a fan of seeing him carry all the shopping bags.

To great luck you had, it had started to rain.

As you stepped out of the store, you immediately felt the cold, damp air on your skin.

You shivered slightly, feeling the raindrops hit your face.

You look up at the sky, the rain falling harder now.

'This is just great,' you thought, feeling a mixture of annoyance and disappointment.

Ratio was by your side, looking equally as annoyed.

"Just perfect," he muttered, his voice low.

You both had to go back to the store so you could buy a simple umbrella.

Having the umbrella already, you started walking next to him.

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been so obsessed with that coffee mix," you said, looking at him with a slight edge in your voice.

Ratio just gave you a look, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"It's not my fault you have such terrible taste in coffee," he replied.

You didn't answer, you just rolled your eyes.

You were going to keep walking, but your sight stopped in your shoes, your laces were untied, so you had to stop.

Once you knelt down so you could tie your shoes, you had to leave the shopping bags on the floor for a moment.

As you began to barely grab your shoe laces, you felt the rain start to wet you again.

You quickly raised your head, watching Ratio, who was carrying the umbrella, continue walking.

Oh, you really thought he would stop.

"Hey!" you called out to him.

Ratio seemed to realize that you had stopped and he stopped walking.

He turned around and looked at you, an impatient expression on his face.

"What," he said, his tone cold.

You gave him an annoyed look.

"You didn't notice that I had stopped," you replied.

Ratio rolled his eyes, an almost unnoticeable gesture, but you caught it.

"I thought you would catch up," he replied, his voice still cold.

"Well, I can't tie my shoes and run at the same time," You muttered.

With nothing else to add, he turned around and continued walking.

You haven't noticed that yet.

But once you've finished tying your shoe laces, you got up from the ground, grabbing the shopping bags you left on the floor.

You saw him much further away, almost a block away from where you were.

Your heart skipped a beat when you realized that Ratio leave you behind.

You stayed there for a while, watching him walk, not even turning a little bit towards where you had stayed.

It was you and the heavy rain falling on you.

What a ridiculous thing. Again.

At least it would have been a nice time if you just liked the rain, but you didn't. You didn't like the rain, especially because you got sick easily.

And he knew that perfectly well.

You swallowed hard, before you started walking, without running or rushing your way to reach it.

'Idiot,' you thought.

You walked behind at a distance, keeping your head down.

Your clothes were already very damp, and you felt cold shiver run through your body.

The rain continued to fall heavily, making you feel more and more uncomfortable.

You shouted your teeth in irritation, frustrated that he had just left you behind like that.

He knew how much you disliked the rain, and yet he didn't care about it.

And why? Because you two had, again, an argument.

By the time you got to the apartment you shared with him, it took you a little bit to put the key in the lock, as your hands were shaking a little bit because of the cold.

Once you got in, you saw the bags he had on the table.

Oh, of course, he had arrived before you.

You walked inside, feeling your clothes sticking to your skin, drenched in rain.

You felt cold and tired, but you were too annoyed to do anything about it.

As you placed the bags in the table, you heard a noise coming from the bedroom. Probably Ratio who was changing clothes.

You didn't want to think about him right now, you just wanted go take a hot shower.

You started taking off your clothes, discarding them on the floor.

You then entered the bathroom, closing the door, and turned on the hot water on the shower.

The hot water streamed down on your body, warming you.

You stood under the water for a long moment, trying to warm yourself up, when you felt the door of the bathroom open.

Ratio stepped into the bathroom silently, taking off his clothes.

He walked over to the shower, opening the door, the hot water spraying on both of you.

You felt him behind you, his presence close to yours.

None of you said anything for a long moment.

The only sound was the water falling on your skin and the floor of the shower.

He was so close to you, physically but also so far away from you mentally. His chest just a few inches away from your back.

He put his hands on your waist, his thumbs tracing slow circles on your skin.

You felt a shiver run through your body, but not because of the cold.

His touch was slow, almost gentle.

But you moved, making his touch fade away.

Ratio noticed your movement, and he withdrew his hands from your waist.

You started washing your hair, ignoring the tension between you two.

He stayed there, just watching you, his gaze fixed on you.

You could feel his eyes on you as you washed your hair and body.

There was a tense moment of silence, as none of you spoke.

You didn't even look back at him, you didn't want to see his face.

The only sound was the water hitting your skin and the floor of the shower.

Until he spoke again.

"Do you want me to help you?" His voice came out calm, almost soft.

The question caught you a little bit on guard.

You didn't expect him to say that.

You remained still for a moment before answering.

"No, I can do it myself," you replied dryly.

You continued washing your hair, trying to ignore his presence behind you.

Ratio moved closer to you, standing right behind you.

You could feel the heat radiating from his body, his naked body just a few inches from yours.

He brought his hand to your hair, starting to massage the shampoo into your scalp.

His movements were gentle, almost tender.

Fuck. No matter how much you wanted to refuse his touch, you couldn't.

You were weak.

You felt his fingers massaging your scalp gently, and you involuntarily leaned back slightly into his touch.

This whole situation was messing with your head.

Here you were, showering with your boyfriend, with whom you had just had a pretty heated argument, and he was giving you such soft, tender touch.

You could almost forget your annoyance and anger at him. Almost.

Still, you stayed silent, not saying anything.

So as not to keep getting lost in his caresses, you finished washing yourself and left the shower.

Your feet wet the bathroom floor, as you walked into the bathtub, which you had filled with hot water.

You let yourself be immersed in the water, feeling your body relax.

Ratio finished washing his hair and body, and stepped out of the shower.

He turned off the water, recording a towel to dry himself.

He glanced at you in the bathtub, his eyes roaming over your water body.

He approached you.

He didn't say anything, but he looked at you, as if he was trying to read your thoughts.

"Can I go in too?" He dared to ask.

You looked at him, meeting his gaze.

His wet hair was falling over his green eyes, his face slightly flushed from the hot water.

You ended up nodding, not knowing where to move for, because you didn't know which side he wanted to sit on.

Ratio entered the tub quietly, moving to the opposite side of you.

You both stared at each other in silence, not knowing what to say.

There was a tension in the air, and the atmosphere felt so heavy.

You watched each other, your gazes locked together.

Then Ratio spoke.

"Come here" He said.

You flinched a little from his words, a bit surprised.

But his voice was gentle and almost tender, his eyes almost begging you to go near him.

You had tried to stay indifferent, but Ratio knew exactly what to say to get through to you.

Although at first you were reluctant, you ended up moving to his side of the bathtub.

You sat between his legs.

Ratio wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You felt his chest against your back.

His touch was light, almost reverently. His large hand moved over your stomach, tracing small circles over your skin.

He stayed silent, as if he were just enjoying the moment, having you in his arms.

You allowed yourself to lean on his chest, closing your eyes.

You sat there in silence, feeling Ratio's touch gently caress your stomach.

It was almost surreal, the way he was acting. As if the argument from before had been erased.

You began to relax into his arms, feeling the warm water of the tub, and his gentle caresses.

No words were spoken between you two, just the subtle sound of water.

His touch was almost soothing, and you felt the tension slowly slipping away.

You were definitely weak. And all because you loved your fiancé.

You had been patient, waiting every time he told you to wait.

There was something you had to tell him about, something that would change your life and his.

But as always, you had to be 'patient.'

You both were laying in the bed, in the dark silence of the night.

Ratio was asleep, while you laid there, wide awake.

You couldn't sleep, your mind filled with thoughts.

You had kept the information to yourself just because he had told you to wait patiently.

But you couldn't wait any longer. You had to tell him.

So you turned around, moving closer to him.

"Ratio." You called out his name in a low voice.

He stirred slightly at the sound of his name, his sleep disturbed.

He opened his eyes slowly, adjusting to the darkness.

Then he looked at you, his gaze a bit sleepy.

"What…?" He mumbled, his voice groggy with sleep.

You could tell he was a bit irritated at the fact that you had woken him up, but you tried to ignore his expression.

"I need to talk to you," you said, your voice low but firm.

Ratio groaned, but he sat up on the bed, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Can this wait until tomorrow?" He said, clearly still tired.

You shook your head, your eyes fixed on his face.

"No, it can't wait until tomorrow," you insisted.

Ratio sighed, clearly irritated that you were interrupting his sleep.

"Honey, yes, you can wait until tomorrow," he said, settling back in bed.

"I have to work in the morning,"

And yes, the same thing happened in the afternoon and at night. You even tried again after a few days, but the same thing happened.

But you assumed it was okay, because you tried to be understanding. You'd have time to tell him later.

You hated fighting, especially if it was about being inside the car.

There were always the grave silences.

It was horrible.

The whole situation was horrific in itself.

You remember the last time you argue, you were also shopping.

You were putting things inside the car, and once you and he finished doing it, Ratio headed to the driver's seat.

You were going to sit in the back seat, as you were too uncomfortable to sit in the co-pilot seat.

But just as you had opened the door, you closed it, because it was a call from work.

"Yes, I know, I left the reports in the first drawer… No, on the one on the left," you started talking, walking a few steps away from the car.

It took you almost five minutes to realize that the car was no longer behind you.

Actually, you wouldn't have noticed that he left, because you only did it when you turned around.

"Ah, yes, forgive me… right, okay, I'll call you in a while," you spoke, in a low voice, almost necessarily.

And you hung up the call, now looking at the empty place in the parking lot.

The car was gone. Ratio was gone.

You felt the heart stop in your chest.

You just stood there in the middle of the parking lot, alone.

You almost couldn't believe that he had done that yet again.

Leaving you behind after an argument. Again.

That day you had to walk home, not because it was dramatic, but because your bag had been left in the back seat of the car. You thought about ordering a taxi, but they still didn't deposit your payment.

When you got home, he wasn't there yet, which was strange to you.

After a few minutes, he walked into the apartment and seeing you on the couch, he came quickly and hugged you.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice low.

Ratio held you tightly, burying his face in your hair.

You could feel his arms around you, holding you close, as if he was trying to keep you there.

What had really happened, is that when you closed the car door, he believed you were inside too. And because he was upset at the time, he didn't bother to see you through the rear-view mirror of the car.

And by the time he noticed and went back to the parking lot, you weren't there anymore.

You grabbed your seatbelt on you with one hand, touching and feeling the material under your fingertips.

"Why can't you be more responsible?"

He questioned.

His voice was cold and he looked annoyed, and there was no need to add that he was pissed.

"Can't I go to a party in peace without you lecturing me?"

You counterattacked him, returning the same hostility.

He let out a scoff, while making sure to concentrate on driving.

"You don't even know how to behave, or how to take care of yourself."

He shot you an accusatory glare.

You clenched your jaw tightly, barely containing your anger.

"I'm not a child, you know I can take care of myself just fine," you retorted through gritted teeth.

Ratio rolled his eyes, as if your statement was nothing but a foolish one.

"Please," he said, his tone mocking. "It's painfully obvious that you can't."

"Not like I need you to babysit me," you retorted, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ratio shot you an annoyed look before refocusing his gaze on the road.

"Obviously you do, considering the ridiculous decisions you make," he retorted, his voice filled with irritation.

You bristled at his comment, feeling your anger rise up.

"I don't need your constant lectures to know how to make decisions. I can manage my life just fine without your approval."

Ratio huffed, clearly not accepting your defiance.

"Clearly not, since you insist on continuing to act childish and irresponsible."

You wanted to snap back and tell him to mind his own business, but you held your tongue.

The ride continued in an icy silence, the tension in the car almost palpable.

Ratio kept his eyes fixed on the road, his face set in a stern expression.

You could feel his annoyance radiating off of him, but you refused to back down.

"Can't you just lighten up for once?" You finally broke the silence, letting your frustration show.

Ratio didn't look at you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.

"I would if I didn't have to deal with your foolishness every damn day."

The words stung, and your anger flared up anew.

"Oh, so it's my fault that you're always in such a rotten mood, huh?" You said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ratio let out a scoff, his patience clearly thinning.

"Perhaps if you acted like a proper adult, I wouldn't be so stressed all the time."

"I am acting like a proper adult," You snapped back, your temper starting to get the better of you.

Ratio gritted his teeth, his annoyance becoming more evident.

"And what, you want a pat on the back for that?" You clenched your fists, your irritation reaching new levels.

"Maybe I do. Maybe I deserve a bit of credit instead of getting lectured all the time."

Ratio huffed, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.

"Credit for what, exactly? Reckless behavior and lacking common sense?"

"Shut up, Veritas," You let go, with the feelings blossoming.

At those words, his irritation transforming into anger.

The air in the car became tense as the silence grew heavy.

"Excuse me?" He finally spoke his voice dropping an octave.

You knew you had crossed a line.

"I said shut up," you repeated.

"I can take care of myself and I know how to behave like a damn adult,"

Ratio abruptly pulled the car into the side of the road, parking the vehicle.

He turned to you.

"You truly think you're so capable, don't you?"

You met his gaze directly.

"I know I am," you retorted, your voice cold.

His gaze turned away from yours, looking forward.

"If that so then," you heard him mutter. But before you could answer that, you spoke again, this time in a tone of voice that you could understand clearly.

"Get out of the car,"

Your eyes widened in shock.

"What?"

You were taken aback by his words, not expecting him to say such a thing.

Ratio repeated his command, his voice firm.

"I said get out of the car. Now."

You hesitated for a moment, your mind racing.

"But—"

"But nothing. Get out," Ratio cut you off, not allowing any further arguments.

His tone left no room for discussion.

"You can't be serious," you said, your voice shaking slightly.

But Ratio's expression was resolute.

"I am. Get out of the damn car."

You stared at him for a moment, feeling a wave of fear and anger mixed together.

The night air was cool, and the lack of streetlights made the deserted road feel even more isolated.

You instinctively brought a hand to your belly.

Then, you unbuckled your seatbelt with trembling hands.

Without saying a word, you opened the car door.

"Fine," you muttered, getting out of the car.

As you stood outside the vehicle, the cold wind hit you like a slap.

You looked back at Ratio, who was still seated inside, his expression unreadable.

"You said you can take care of yourself, right? So prove it." He said.

His words felt like a punch in the gut.

You looked around, noticing how deserted the area was.

You turned back to him, a mixture of anger and fear in your eyes.

"You can't seriously expect me to—" you started, but Ratio cut you off.

"You said you were an adult. Act like one."

And without waiting for an answer from you, he just started the engine, leaving you there.

The sound of the car engine growing fainter as it pulled away was like a dagger to your heart.

You were suddenly hit with the harsh realization of the situation.

You were alone in the middle of nowhere, with no other cars in sight.

The fear and anger you had felt earlier turned into a mix of anxiety and desperation.

You looked around, trying to figure out what to do next.

Again, your hand was directed at your belly.

You were scared for your safety.

Not to mention that the sudden, strong desire to cry was catching you.

You couldn't believe that Ratio had actually left you there, in the middle of nowhere.

You looked back at the road, silently hoping that Ratio would come back and tell you it was just a sick joke.

But deep down, you knew that wasn't the case.

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you quickly brushed them away, trying to hold them back.

You took a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself.

While you were holding your hand in the same position as before, your thumb moved slightly, gently stroking the zone.

"It's okay," you said.

You didn't know how you did it, but you did, you were able to get to the apartment.

You had to walk a few blocks, because there was literally nobody in that area of the city.

That until you finally managed to order a taxi.

You're still somewhat anxious, because you really were lucky, those kinds of situations never go well.

You knocked on it and waited for a couple of seconds, until finally, the door opened, revealing Ratio with an irritated expression.

"You came back."

He said, his voice flat.

You didn't respond.

Instead, you pushed past him and entered the apartment, your heart was still racing.

You walked past him silently, but he closed the door behind you, then followed you.

The apartment was quiet, the only sound was the hum of the air conditioner.

With quick steps, you went to the main bathroom.

You closed the door behind you, leaning on the door as you felt like you were going to fall to the ground and cry.

You leaned against the cold surface, trying to catch your breath and calm the beating of your chest.

Tears filled your eyes once again, but this time you didn't hold back.

You didn't make any noise, but the tears were falling silently and unstoppably. Your throat burned.

He had left you alone on a deserted road, in the middle of nowhere, and for what?

To provide a point?

To teach you a lesson?

It was unfair, it was cruel, and it was hurtful.

You couldn't hold it in any longer, the tension and fear releasing themselves in shaky sobs.

You wished you had someone to be with you, to hug you. To love you.

Not even just a few moments later, there was a knock on the door.

The knocking made you freeze for a moment, as the sound cut through the quiet of the bathroom.

Ratio's voice came through the door.

"Are you okay in there?"

You quickly wiped your tears, not wanting him to see and hear you so vulnerable, even if he was the cause.

"Yeah," you said through the door, your voice strained and hoarse.

There was a long pause, and you could sense him hesitating on the other side of the door.

Finally, he spoke again.

"Can I come in?"

"No," You said, without letting your voice betray you.

Another pause, and you waited for him to argue.

But he didn't.

Instead, you heard his sigh from behind the door.

"Okay. But please come out when you're ready. We need to talk."

Without another word, he walked away from the bathroom door.

You listened to his footsteps retreating to the living room.

After a few minutes, you splashed your face with cold water, taking a few deep breaths before exiting the bathroom.

You walked to the living room, where you found Ratio sitting on the couch, his expression unreadable.

You stood awkwardly in the doorway, waiting for him to start talking.

Ratio gestured to the seat next to him, inviting you to sit down.

You hesitantly sat down next to him, keeping a distance.

The silence between you was charged with tension.

Ratio seemed to be struggling to find the right words, and every passing moment felt like an eternity.

Finally, he spoke, his voice serious.

"I just want to make it clear that I didn't mean any harm to you," he started.

You didn't respond, still feeling the hurt from his actions earlier.

Even though you were supposed to talk, you didn't want to.

You just wanted to rest, so you could relax a little bit.

Ratio could sense your lack of enthusiasm, but he pressed on.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

"Listen… I know that what I did was wrong, but-" he tried to speak, but you interrupted him with a look.

"No, no buts," you said, your voice firm.

"You left me there, on a deserted road, in the middle of nowhere. Do you have any idea how scared I was?"

Ratio wonced, clearly not expecting you to speak so directly.

You saw him open his mouth to say something else, but you spoke first.

"I want to sleep now," you said, so he understood you didn't want to have this conversation now.

Ratio's expression shifted.

But he didn't argue.

Instead, he nodded slowly, acknowledging your wish to end the conversation.

"Alright," he said softly.

You got up from the couch, walking to bedroom.

It might sound childish and all, but you didn't really want to share the bed with him.

So you grabbed your pillow and a blanket, as you left the bedroom.

You walked back into the living room, finding Ratio still sitting on the couch.

He watched as you made yourself a makeshift bed on the other couch with the pillow and blanket.

His eyes betrayed curiosity and confusion, but he didn't say anything.

You settled down on the makeshift bed, turning your back to him, signaling that you wanted to be alone.

Ratio stared at you for a moment longer, a mix of emotions etched on his face.

He seemed like he wanted to say something, but ultimately, he simply sighed again and returned his gaze forward.

He didn't try to persuade you to return to the bedroom.

You heard his footsteps away from the living room, which you mentally thanked.

You tried to sleep, settling on the couch.

The events of the day replayed on a loop in your mind, especially Ratio leaving you there.

You tried to push the thoughts away, but you couldn't.

Is that really the man you'd marry?

At this point, you didn't know if you loved your fiancé as much as before.

Three weeks had passed, and the events of that night had created an invisible barrier between you and Ratio.

There was constant tension in the air, and you often felt like you were tip-toeing around each other's emotions.

You continued to sleep on the couch in the living room, refusing to return to the shared bedroom.

Ever since the fight, you had been acting a bit distant with him.

Ratio hadn't apologed directly for the incident, but you knew he was sorry.

However, you could also see he didn't really know how to deal with the situation, so he mostly tried to avoid discussing it.

So Ratio seemed to be trying to mend things, offering small gestures such as bringing you coffee or suggesting you watch a movie together.

But you were still hurt, most of the time you flatly denies or just not taking the things he brought you.

Today, you were sitting on the couch, reading a book.

Ratio was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for both of you.

You could hear him moving around, the sounds of pots and pans clanking together.

It was a Saturday night, and neither of you had work tomorrow.

Finally, after a couple of minutes, Ratio walked into the living room, holding two plates of food.

He placed one in front of you, while he sat down in the chair next to the couch.

Both of you started to eat in silence.

The lack of conversation was becoming awkward. The only sounds were the clinking of forks against the plates.

Ratio tried to start a conversation, clearing his throat.

"How was the book you're reading?" He asked, attempting to engage you.

You looked up from your plate, making eye contact with him for the first time that evening.

"It's… fine," you responded, keeping your voice neutral.

Ratio nodded, struggling to find something else to say.

The silence returned, and the air thickened with tension.

Ratio tried once more.

"Listen… I've been thinking a lot about what happened and-"

You cut him off before he could say anything else.

"Don't," you said, your voice firm.

Ratio blinked, surprised at your interruption.

"But-"

"I said don't," you repeated, looking back down at your plate.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Ratio closed his mouth, clearly taken aback by your response.

He set his fork down, and you could see the frustration in his expression.

"How long are you going to keep ignoring the issue?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes.

You knew where he was going with this conversation.

"…You're not even giving me a chance to explain," Ratio said, his frustration growing.

"Yeah, because I don't want to hear it," you retorted, your tone becoming harsher.

"You're being completely unfair, you know that?" He said, his voice rising.

"You're just acting like a goddamn child."

"How long are you gonna keep holding this over my head?" You said.

You dropped the fork on the plate half empty.

Ratio let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"Do you really want to carry this resentment forever?"

He leaned back in his chair, looking straight at you. "I'm sorry for what happened, okay? I already said it. What more do you want from me?"

You clenched your jaw, irritation building up inside of you.

"You're sorry?" You repeated back in a mocking tone.

Ratio slammed his own plate down on the coffee table, clearly losing his temper.

"I'm trying to fix this, but you won't even give me a chance!"

"Fix this?" You shot back, leaning forward on the couch. "You're the one who screwed up in the first place!"

"I know that," Ratio said through gritted teeth.

"And I apologized, didn't I?"

You stood up from the couch, your body filled with frustration.

"A very nice behavior of yours to be sorry!," you stated.

Ratio stood up from his chair too, his hands clenching into fists.

"Fine, I'll say it again. I'm sorry for what I did."

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"I shouldn't have left you there alone. It was wrong of me. I wasn't thinking clearly. I was angry, and I took it out on you."

You stared at him.

"Oh, then you never think clearly?" You asked, your voice tinged with sarcasm.

"I said I was sorry!" Ratio exclaimed, his voice rising again.

"What more do you want from me? For me to grovel at your feet?"

You could see the anger and frustration in his eyes.

"Maybe some actual remorse and not just hollow apologies would be nice," you shot back.

Ratio's jaw tightened, and he took a step closer to you.

"You know what? I tried to be civil about this, but you're just acting like a spoiled brat. You're constantly playing the victim and never accepting any responsibility for your own actions."

You flinched at his words, feeling a pang of hurt in your chest.

"My own actions?" You echoed, your voice wavering.

"You're the one who put me in that situation in the first place. I was scared half to death, wondering if I was left to die there. And now, you have the audacity to pin all the blame on me?" Without even realizing it, you had started shouting.

You also approached him.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" You spit, with one finger you pushed his chest as you spoke.

Ratio stumbled back a little, clearly not expecting your physical response.

He grabbed your wrist, holding it tightly. His grip was firm and bruising.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, or I-"

He stopped in mid-sentence, his eyes locking with yours.

The tension in the room was palpable.

You didn't back down, staring back at him defiantly.

You moved your arm backwards, causing it to release your wrist.

"You don't give a lot of fear," you let go.

"All the time, every time we fight, you didn't fail once," you started, as you held the wrist you'd grabbed before.

"You were always looking for something to make me feel bad. Were you punishing me? Or what the fuck was all that, Veritas?"

Ratio took a step back, his anger now mixed with shock at your words.

"Is that what you thought?" He asked, his voice taking on a bitter tone. "You thought I was punishing you? That I was trying to make you feel bad?"

You made a grimace.

"Oh, do you want me to remind you ones of the latest?" You asked, without waiting for an answer from him.

"You leave me in the parking lot, you refuse to make me food when you know I can't, I can never tell you something important, you threw me out of the car in the middle of nowhere," you continued.

"And what a coincidence, right? It's always after we argue!"

Ratio's expression darkened as you listed off the incidents.

He seemed to be struggling with his own anger and trying to find the right words.

"Those were all mistakes, accidents," he said through gritted teeth.

"You make it sound like I did it on purpose."

You laughed bitterly.

"Accident?" You repeated, shaking your head.

"Then you're just careless, that's it? You just keep making these accidents, and I'm supposed to pretend it's all fine?"

Ratio winced, clearly feeling the weight of your words.

"I didn't say it was fine," he replied defensively.

You could see the tension in his shoulders.

"Yes, I made mistakes, and I hurt you. But I'm trying to apologize and fix things, and you're just wallowing in self-pity and refusing to give me a chance!"

You were taken aback by his tone.

You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"Self-pity?" You repeated, feeling a sense of anger boiling within you.

"You're the one who's in denial here! You keep pretending like it's all my fault."

You stepped closer to him, your voice raising.

"You're trying to shift the blame on me instead of acknowledging your own actions!"

You were going to continue, but you felt something strange in your belly, which made you remember.

"I was so excited to tell you something I imagined would change our lives!" You started.

"And what did you say? 'No, not now, tomorrow'"

"You had me with that for weeks!"

Ratio's eyes widened at your words, his jaw clenched tightly.

"So that's what this is about?" He retorted, his voice bitter. "You got mad at me just because I didn't want to talk right that moment?"

He took a step closer to you, his figure towering over you.

"I was tired and stressed, and you were pestering me with something so trivial."

You felt a pang of hurt hearing him call your news trivial.

"Trivial?!!" You exclaimed, your eyes brimming with tears.

"I didn't think you'd be this self-centered, Veritas," You said, your voice wavering.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep your emotions in check.

"I can't believe I'm going to marry such a person,"

Ratio's expression flickered for a moment.

"You're seriously questioning our relationship because of these stupid fights?" He said, his voice rising in frustration. "Are you that eager to give up on us?"

He ran a hand through his hair, looking at you with a mixture of anger and desperation.

Seeing that you didn't respond, he felt like he was on the edge of a cliff.

"If that's what you want, go ahead!"

"I don't want to marry someone like you either," Now he was talking to try to defend his frustrating desire to cry that he had.

His words stung like a blade.

"Fine then!" you said, your voice shaking.

You held back tears, determined to maintain your composure.

"Maybe we shouldn't get—"

"Maybe we shouldn't get married at all?"

Ratio finished your sentence, his voice trembling slightly.

He clenched his jaw, trying to hide the turmoil of emotions inside him.

"Go on then," he said, "Say it."

You took a deep breath, trying to control the lump in your throat.

The room was filled with the weight of your words, and a suffocating silence fell between you two.

"Maybe we shouldn't—" You repeated it, but before you could complete the phrase, a stabbing pain was centered on your belly.

You immediately took your hand there, letting out a slight scream.

Ratio immediately reacted to your cry.

He was started by the sound you made, and any remaining anger in his eyes faded to concern.

You saw him coming up and talking to you, but you didn't hear him.

With fear and pain you brought your eyes down feeling blood go through your legs.

Now the tears that hadn't fallen before, were deliberately starting to fall down your face.

You couldn't even tell him that you were pregnant, because probably after this, you're no longer pregnant.

Ratio's eyes widened in shock and horror as he realized the situation.

He quickly wrapped his arms around you, guiding you to sit on the couch.

Panic and fear overwhelmed him as he saw the blood staining your trousers and the tears streaming down your face.

His hands trembled as he took out his phone, dialing a number with shaky fingers.

You looked up for a moment, it was as if your ears had been covered for a moment.

At any other moment you could have made fun of him, because after all he was entering the panic, when you were sure that he had witnessed many cases like this, because after all, he was a doctor.

You saw him talking on the phone as he started running around the apartment, grabbing the car keys.

You wish you could have laughed at that moment.

Ratio was now in a state of complete panic, but he had to maintain some composure to take care of you.

He ended the call with the emergency services, quickly returning to your side.

His hands trembled as he tried to reassure you, his voice cracking as he spoke.

"It's going to be okay," he repeated again and again, trying to calm both you and himself. After all, those were the only words you came to understand at that blurry moment.

You didn't know what you would do now, you didn't know what he would do now.

The only thing you knew at the time was that after this, you would hate your fiancé.

©cherrylovelycherry do not repost, copy, translate, modify or feed into ai

[just1cefor4ll]

Your Overlord! Husk is just so 🫠 So I HAD to request something for him!

Reader works at the Casino. She is Husk's favorite waitress (maybe because she is his gf idk 👀) and deals with rude costumers more often than she'd like. During one of those situations, they corner her for trying to "stick her nose in somebody else's business". Overlord! Husk deals with them before they have the chance to do anything. After the situation is taken care of, he steals her away to dote on her <3

This is the (slightly modified) piece of dialogue that inspired my request. Feel free to use it, if you want!

Reader, backing up: "Gentlemen, gentlemen. Let's be civil about this. Let's make a deal; you leave, and you don't die a second time. How does that sound?"

Sinner: "And how do you intend to kill us, dollface?"

Reader: "Oh, no, I can't kill you. But my boss can. Say hi, boss."

Overlord! Husk, appearing behind reader: "Hi."

I'm aware of how cringe this is, but I couldn't help myself ;;

oh my god this isn’t cringe at all!! i love this sm !! hope ive managed to write this how you wanted and that you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing this<33

warnings: bad grammar, swearing, alcohol, mention of harassment, the sinners might be sexist? (if i forgot anything tell me in the comments)

•

•

Overlord!Husk x waitress reader

You’ve met Husk a few years ago after you have just fallen into the dark place called Hell. You stumbled upon the casino after you accepted that this was your life— well afterlife for the rest of eternity, and damn, eternity is a long time! So you decided to look for a job, a job you had when you were alive; a waitress.

Husk hired you after a week of you being “on trial” as he likes to call it and you were just fit for the job! You had the nerves of a saint since you used to deal with drunk people that drowned themselves in alcohol and decided to throw the tiny bit of dignity away and harass the workers who didn’t really sign up for being harassed. At your old job you were usually the one that calmed fights and disagreements down and people were really grateful for that. You could say you were like the mom of that last bar you worked at!

Today the casino was calmer the usual, just sinners chatting away and dancing on the dance floor or just having a drink after a long day of work. The day was slow yes, but at least you didn’t have shitty customers to worry about; you thought to yourself but then suddenly the bars doors slam open and in come 4 not so friendly looking fox demons. You hated those kinds of demons, they usually tried to steal and just make your afterlife a living hell— well if that’s even possible since you already are in hell.

You shoot your fellow employees a uncertain glance and walk over to the demons to ask if they decided on their drinks. They snickered as they ordered their drinks and whispered to themselves as you went to get the drinks they wanted. The bartender, Chris, was a fellow friend of yours and as he makes the drinks he says with a worried tone; “Hey Y/N I know you’re experienced and shit but please be careful, those guys used to come here often and they like to start fights and they really are not fun to deal with so just, keep your guard up, okay?” He looks at you with genuine worry as he hands the drinks to you and you pick them up with ease; “Don’t worry Chrissy i’ll be extra careful okay? I’ve dealt with assholes when I was alive you really don’t need to worry about me.” You say with a smile and shoot him a wink and walk over to the men that are now playing poker and are betting for a huge amount of money. You place the drinks down and go back to talk with Chris to pass the time.

Husk was in his usual spot in the VIP room of the casino, gambling with some sinners, having a bored look on his face as it was clear the sinner really had no experience. He looks away for a moment to glance to the other side of the casino to see you chatting with the bartender. He smiles for just a bit and looks back at the game. You were quite close since you had both a lot in common and were quite fond of each other. After about a year and a half of you working at the casino, Husk asked you out and you, of course accepted! You got together after that and you couldn’t have been happier. But the only one that knew about your secret relationship was Chris, since you trusted him with that kind of information. You and Husk got married after 2 years of being together and Chris could just tell you two loved each other, you were practically love sick idiots!

“And you know that bitch that took your place while you were sick? She was a total—” You get cut off by the sound of yelling and you turn your head to see what was happening. The fox demons were now yelling and fighting, screaming foul things at each other because the game was apparently “not fair”. You exchange looks with Chris and sigh, walking over to the angered men with a calm look on your face, straightening your uniform.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen! May I ask what is the cause of all of this commotion? You’re disturbing the others that are trying to have a good time.” You say with a calm tone trying to calm the situation and to not raise attention. “Go mind your fucking business bitch you probably put something in our drinks to make us focus less so that asshole can win!” One of them yells and the others nod along with angered looks on their faces. “Im sorry wh—” You get cut off yet again by the one of the angry men; “Just shut the fuck up your so clueless it’s embarrassing you probably don’t even know how to do your job properly” Another one of them says grabbing your wrist to pull you down to his height. Your nose scrunches in disgust since you can smell the alcohol from his mouth and you just pray you don’t throw up in his face. He starts to speak again, clearly still annoyed; “How about you fucking go do your job like a good little lady and bring us another drink.” The demon says with a smirk on his face and lets you go and whistles at you as you go to leave. You turn around and glare slightly at the man but take a deep breath and say; “Gentlemen calm yourselves please, let’s be civil about this, yes? How about you either leave this casino and never come back, or you can treat the employees with respect.” You say brushing off your uniform and look at them with a smile fake like the money they were betting on.

“Yea? Or else what?” One of them asks gaining some new found confidence and smirks at you looking you up and down, licking his lips as if you were some kind of prey. “You get to keep your little afterlife and don’t die a second time!” You say with a sarcastic tone and smile. They start to laugh as if you just said the most hilarious thing in the entire world and look at you like a little child who was born yesterday; “Aww and how does a little demon like you intend to do that?” They all snicker awaiting your answer that they were sure it was gonna be even more hilarious then the previous statement you made.

Husk who heard the commotion and has been watching the interaction from afar for almost 10 minutes was growing more and more annoyed by the second. How dare they speak to his wife like that? They think they can just waltz in here and fuck with his wife? Yeah no. He slowly starts to walk towards you and the men and you notice him out from the corner of your eye and smirk, knowing from the look on his face that he was pissed. Maybe even that was not that much of a strong word to describe the anger bubbling up in his body. You look at the demons in front of you and say; “Perhaps you would like to discuss that with my boss?” You say and step back from the demons who replace their smug expressions with confused glances.

“Is there a problem here gentlemen?” Husk asks raising a brow with a annoyed look on his face as the fox demons now look like they’ve pissed themselves. You smirk at the men flipping them off from behind, sticking your tongue out. Your boss from your old job never really bothered to stand up for his employees so it felt good to finally have assholes like them eat their own shit.

The demons scatter and leave money at the table at mumble apologies towards you and Husk and leave the casino without another word. The employees and some of the customers cheer and whistle and scream at the demons to never come back and you cheer a bit yourself, happy that someone finally stood up for you.

The atmosphere was finally back to its normal calm self and Husk looks at you with a bit of a angered look, not because of you, but because he was still pissed someone would just treat his wife like shit, but of course he looks at you with a hint of worry but he’s careful to not show it since he has a reputation to uphold. “Y/N, my office. Now.” He says as he slowly walks over to the back door for employees and you share a worried look with Chris, he looks at you confused and raises a brow at you. You just shrug your shoulders since you’re just as confused as him but you follow closely behind Husk as he wait for you at the employee door. You both walk to his office not far down the hall and he opens the door and lets you enter first. He enters right after you, closing the door behind him. He stays quiet for a bit ask he smokes his cigarette, looking out from the huge window he had in his office.

You stand there nervously and fiddle with your sleeves, hoping you weren’t in trouble, because you really don’t wanna deal with an angry Husk. He throws the cigarette butt out of the window and turns to look at you. He walks up to you cups your cheek in his hand and asks; “Are you okay my love? Did those fuckers hurt you?” He says with worry evident in his voice and you sigh; “No, no they didn’t do anything i’m fine Husker i’ve dealt with shit like this before..” You say looking away from him frowning slightly grabbing your slightly bruised wrist. “I don’t take shit like that to heart.” You say with a smirk.

He smiles softly at you and pulls you closer grabbing you by the waist; “I know Doll I just wanted to check on you, you know? Those guys really are pieces of shit and i’ve wanted to shut them up for a while now, but you did that pretty well yourself~” He says with a smirk and a teasing tone.

“Yeah, yeah I know i’m just the best.” You say with a playful tone and chuckle. “I’m glad you were worried about me tho. I guess the “heartless Overlord” really does have a soft spot for me~” You giggle teasing the cat demon, you knew very well he cared about you, and you were very grateful for that. Husk wraps his tail around your leg and look you up at Husk, shivering slightly from his touch, but you can’t help but admire his features up close. He smirks at the remark and pulls you closer so your bodies are practically touching and your faces are inches apart. He suddenly dips you, your lips barely apart as he grabs you firmly, careful so you don’t fall and and smiles, a genuine smile you have never seen before, a smile that Husk himself couldn’t believe he had used and says;

“Hm, well love, you might just happen to have a special spot in this dead heart of mine~”

He says and leans in closing the small gap between you two. Your breath hitches at the contact but you don’t hesitate to kiss back, a simple act that made your heart flutter even though you’ve done this a million times before. You smiled into the kiss and you started to wonder how you could have found such a great partner.

It was kind of funny, you really were a match made in hell.

[luneengene2]

omg, can you please do something like the &team Harry Potter world for enhypen? that's so good

They Found Out You're Not Pureblood

Pureblood!Enha Hyung Line x Non-pureblood!Fem!Reader

• Warnings : Angst content, discrimination (?), glorification of blood status, unethical words, insults, mention of death, Grammar errors.

• Note : If you are sensitive about your feelings, please don't read this one of my works. I don't want any comments that will ruin my mood. Thank you (Anon, sorry to keep you waiting. My busyness was really unexpected, but fortunately my project is finished, I can relax well).

// Heeseung (Gryffindor) //

"Why did you have to lie to me all this time? Why, Y/N?! Why?!" Heeseung shook your body, making you cry even harder. All this time, you lied to him because he was a pureblood. Dating Heeseung had been your dream, even since your first year at Hogwarts. At that age, you already had a huge crush on Heeseung. But, you realized one thing. You and him have a strong blood status difference, his family is part of a pure-blood family that has maintained its purity for centuries. You know that his family has a good reputation and also an attitude of mutual respect, even towards non-purebloods. However, that does not rule out the possibility that they will marry and have a serious relationship with a non-pureblood.

Heeseung found out that you were half-blood because of that bastard Pansy Parkinson who taunted him and led him to your true background.

"I'm just afraid that you'll dump me, Hee! Your family is a respectable pure-blood family that definitely wouldn't accept a half-blood like me," You said while squealing a little at him, maybe he would kick you right away when he found out everything.

"You think I'm that cruel?" A tear fell from the eye of the boy surnamed Lee. He was devastated. Devastated not because he felt lied to, devastated because you felt that he had such bad thoughts about him.

Heeseung pulled you closer, pressing your foreheads together. You were both crying, only you were the worst.

"Listen to me, my beloved angel. For Merlin's sake, I will not abandon you just because of your blood status, my parents never taught me to do things that hurt women. I still love you, more than anything,"

// Park Jongseong (Slytherin) //

"A Slytherin like me actually fell into a mudblood trap? My grandfather could rise from the grave," Jay smiled bitterly looking at the girl who was shaking, crying silently. Not daring to look at him. You. Now he knows that you are not a pureblood.

"I have to admit, you really have the guts to make me fall into your love. But when I found out this truth, I really didn't want to see your face again forever," You looked up with tears in your eyes. Your gaze is full of pleading.

"Jay I love you, I just want happiness, and my happiness is in you," You tried to grab his hand, hoping he was just mad but considering what he was going to do to you, at least he accepted you.

"But my happiness is not for a mudblood," Jay said coldly, pushing away your hand that was about to grab his arm.

His gaze that was once full of affection and love for you, has now turned into a cold gaze, hatred and maybe even disgust. He completely changed just because of the difference and dignity that his family had built up over hundreds of years. Love can't even 'penetrate' his ego and dignity.

Deep in his heart he can't let you go, because a feeling of love grows deep in his heart. But, all of that will be defeated because of prestige, childhood doctrine, and his family's dignity. He doesn't want to destroy that for love. In fact, the thing he is so guarded about could backfire on him.

// Sim Jaeyun (Ravenclaw) //

Even though you've told him everything about your background, his hug doesn't loosen or slowly let go. Instead, he tightens it even more. He was lied to, but there was one thing that hurt him even more. Seeing you cry like this.

It's been almost an hour that you've been in the same position. Crying in Jake's arms while continuing to express several requests not to be left and to apologize.

When you started to stop crying from exhaustion, Jake kissed your forehead softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. ""By God, I'll kill myself if I leave you, Y/N," he kissed your palm for a long time, he wiped away your tears. Cupping your cheeks.

"That damn blood status won't change the fact that my love for you is much greater. Blood status will not be able to defeat my love, because basically my love will win,"

// Park Sunghoon (Slytherin) //

"You're lucky I didn't immediately put a death curse on you, Y/L/N," Sunghoon smiled bitterly, looking at you who was hugging his legs while crying. You begged him, not to leave you because he already knew everything. Sunghoon hates Muggleborns, because of an incident centuries ago about the massacre of wizards by humans. He couldn't believe that his lover was part of the element he disliked so much.

"Hoonie ple-"

"Don't call me Hoonie! It makes me sick to hear it! By the Great Salazar, I don't know what I did to fall in love with you who deceived me. What a great manipulation. You beat a Slytherin, Y/N," Sunghoon smiled bitterly again, he pushed you gently. Don't want to hurt your body by hitting the ground.

He was sick, very sick because he was lied to this much. Not only that, it turned out that the girl he loved so much had blood from an element he didn't like in the history of magic. He doesn't deny the fact that he loves you so much (of course), but when he finds out this big fact, it's like stabbing him with a katana.

Indirectly, his love was defeated by his ego.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

love is embarrassing

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

a.n. i can't be blamed for this. i swear, this is the last part. (but like, i also reserve the right to do another one if the mood strikes). i just have so much fun writing these two.

bad idea right? | get him back! | love is embarrassing

you loved romance. you loved reading it. you loved watching a good rom com. you loved the idea of love.

you just wish someone would have told you how embarrassing it all was. love is embarrassing. plain and simple. it’s humiliating. and no movie, no book, no past relationship ever prepared you for how much you were willing to embarrass yourself for bucky barnes.

no one prepared you for hearing that tired sigh and watching your friends roll their eyes. every single time without fail.

“we broke up.”

“we’re back together.”

“we’re just keeping it casual.”

“i love him.”

“i hate him.”

bucky barnes had literally driven you to the brink of madness. then reeled you back in. then pushed you head first over the cliff. and as much as you wanted to hate him for it, you know you've done the exact same thing to him too.

something about the two of you, whether together or broken up, turned to usually level headed, composed agents into immature, borderline insane people.

dignity, both yours and his, was no longer a consideration in your relationship.

it was simple, neither of you had any left.

not when you kept falling into each other's beds and arms over and over again.

and in spite of all of this, in spite of all the embarrassment, the moment bucky texts you and asks you to meet him for a coffee, you agree - but only after making him wait several hours for a simple 'okay'.

here you sit before him, sipping on your tea, wondering where the hell your pride went. you were sure you had it right before bucky texted you.

bucky lets out a deep sigh, his hands anxiously rubbing together. "I just - i thought that maybe we should talk. alone. and i didn't want you to think that i was just trying to -"

"hook up?"

he nods, his lips pressed together, "exactly."

"it's not like everyone doesn't already know what's going on between us."

he immediately looks apologetic. you hate that. you hate that deep down, bucky barnes is actually a really good person, just not a great ex-boyfriend.

the real kicker was that he was actually a really great boyfriend, at least, from what you remember. "i should've told you that sam and steve found out."

your shoulders slump in defeat as you acquiesce, "and i should've told you that natasha and wanda found out."

his mouth twists. "so everyone knows, huh?"

"pretty much... does that surprise you?"

"i mean, i guess not. it's not like we were subtle about any of it."

you playfully snort, "no, i guess we weren't."

"why did we break up?"

"you don't remember that huge fight we had?"

"no, i remember that. i remember being really pissed off. i remember saying things that i didn't mean. i just can't remember why i didn't go after you. i can't remember why you didn't come back. and i can't remember why we gave up so easily."

the crazy thing was you could hardly remember what the fight was about. his ego. your temper. conflicting work schedules. the reality was you both blew up that night. "i don't remember either."

"why the hell are we still broken up?"

pride, mostly.

it was always the ugly head that reared itself in your relationship.

you were too proud to admit that you were wrong.

he was too proud to admit that he was wrong.

you were both too proud to be the first one to lay your armor down.

"it’s just..." you start, shaking your head and immediately backtracking, "forget it."

"it’s clearly something," bucky urges.

"it’s embarrassing."

"i promise i won’t give you shit about whatever you say."

"no, bucky, it’s embarrassing..."

his jaw sets to the side, his teeth clicking together. "us? we’re embarrassing? you’re embarrassed to be with me?"

"no! yes! no - it’s - this whole back and forth. if i get back together with you now - which i'm not saying i will - what does that say about me?"

he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "i didn't realize you cared that much about what other people thought of you."

"don't patronize me," you sneer. "you've embarrassed the shit out of me over and over again. forgive me for having some self respect."

"i think i'm falling in love with him," you confess.

"i'm so happy for you!" wanda squeals.

"barnes!" natasha greets him. "we were just talking about you two, so much for being a lone wolf, huh?"

bucky wraps an arm around you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. he scoffs, "nothing's changed. we're just keeping it casual."

"i've embarassed you?" bucky guffaws. "you're not exactly innocent in this either."

"me?" you gasp. "what the hell did i do to you?"

"i think she's the one," bucky wistfully admits.

sam rolls his eyes. "you've been dating like a month."

"i'm not seeing your point."

"hey, sam," you greet him, making a point to glare at bucky as you pass the two of them on the way to the bar.

"oh shit," sam chuckles. "someone's in trouble."

"what? no i'm not - " bucky's words are cut off by the sight of you flipping him off as you walk away. "i stand corrected."

"you've done plenty," bucky grunts.

"and now, now, all i hear now is everyone's opinion of what they think i should do!" you exclaim. "do you know how humiliating it is to have everyone's opinions of whether or not i should be with you?"

“you’ll never get over him if you’re still under him, if you get what i mean,” nat quips.

you roll your eyes. “you have the subtlety of a brick wall.”

"you were the one that was all over sam at the bar the other night!" he accuses.

"and you were flirting with some random stranger in front of all of our friends!" you shoot back.

"people are staring," bucky points out.

you hang your head. great, you've embarrassed yourself once again in this back and forth with bucky. "i'm just tired of hearing what everyone thinks about this back and forth."

"but what do you think?" he emphasizes. "because, honestly, i'll embarrass myself over and over again if it means i could have you back. just name a time and a place and i'll be there." you're taken aback by bucky's offer. he was a proud man. there was no denying that. and maybe it's the fact that there's nothing but sincerity gleaming in his eyes or the fact that he's willing to give up something he values so much for you. maybe romance isn't dead after all. "or maybe, maybe we just stop. we stop this back and forth. we stop acting like kids, stop trying to get back at each other. we just... love each other without worrying about what everyone else thinks."

"oh fuck," you hiss under your breath as the realization hits you.

"what?"

you don't say anything. you just realized that you're about to embarrass yourself one last time for bucky barnes.

who cares? after all, love is embarrassing.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

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[nomomio]

I finally started reading Nona the Ninth. I'm five chapters in and here are some key takeaways so far:

- As a trans feminine butch Pyrhha Dve having a completely normalized shaving scene, and Nona thinking it's beautiful is HEALING

- In addition to that, the teacher misgendering Pyrhha threw me through a loop cuz I completely forgot she's now permanently in Gideon the First's body.

- The fuck is the blue light??? Why does it hurt necromancers???

- Crown is Coronabeth (Corona, Crown, duh). Captain is Judith.

- This book is managing to be to uplifting and hopeful, yet makes me so incredibly sad in a way I can't begin to describe. As someone who has such a deep indescribable love of humanity as a whole, Nona and the kids especially are really hitting something deep within me.

- Pyrhha wanting to take Calamedes (name pending) and Nona away and live away on a farm is just. Mood girl, mood.

- Pyrhha sweety, why are you drinking bleach? Do you wanna talk?

- I want to scoop up Hot Sauce and give her a good home

- The rest of the kids too while we're at it

- Between the last book and now Cam/Palamedes, Tamsyn Muir has accidentally created quite possibly the most positive representation of Dissociative Identity Disorder, and disorders like it, that I have ever seen. Like I just wanna sit down with Muir and ask if that was intentional or not

- It's a bit out there but I think Nona is humanity? Or maybe a manifestation of Earth? Like it would take an It's Always Sunny conspiracy board meme level of explanation to get into how I got to that theory. But I think Nona is humanity, or at the very least, human connection incarnate

- That first chapter detailing Cam, Pyrhha, and Palamedes caring for Nona... I cried. As an autistic kid who both was forced to grow up too fast, and also was often patronized when loving innocence/naivety shown through the mask, seeing caregivers not only love Nona, but respect her and show her DIGNITY was something I didn't know I needed to see

[unholyhelbig]

I have a request as I see they are open! I enjoyed the last Oversight AU! Could I request a one shot of Kate’s imitation / first meeting with Natasha? And maybe go into the specifics of the Eli situation? I love to see the badass protective side of Natasha!

Title: Dig Your Own Shallow Grave [An Oversight Oneshot]

Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff (Technically, this is one part of a bigger story)

Summary: Kate Bishop is known as the ex-heiress that was welcomed into Natasha's fold long before you. You learn pieces about her everyday, but never the full story. Not until today.

Warnings(PLEASE READ): physical violence, handcuffs, thunderstorms, threats, mentions of death, mentions of jail, incarceration, cheating, toxic relationship dynamic, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, horrible grammar

[a/n: This one is different! I don't know anything about the Elijah that's portrayed in the MCU, just the Young Avengers Eli and I can't stand the dude.]

Check out the full Oversight universe

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

The large leaden handcuffs seemed like an unnecessary and overzealous precaution to Natasha Romanoff. They rattled as if the young girl was nothing more than a ghost of Christmas past. They were sinched at her waist, both hands balled into fists until her knuckles were a sickly shade of white.

There was red around her eyes, making a charcoal gray hiss into something muddy and sad. There was a flash of confusion and then disgust that fell over her features when she caught a glimpse of herself in the large two-way mirror that stood parallel.

Natasha turned in her seat, made eye contact with the guard. They had a silent understanding. The cameras that were situated at the corners of the room had been shut off- technical difficulties, they would say.

She collapsed into the chair adjacent to Natasha, never taking her eyes away from the only other distraction in the room. The chain connecting her cuffs were bolted to a hook in the table, but her feet were left free. Unless she was an Olympic swimmer, which she wasn’t, that would be no problem.

The guard nodded before he left them in the room and locked the door behind him. The mechanism in the metal door was loud and sighed with age when turned. The light above them swung back and forth within its cage. A circle of yellow enveloped them both.

Her hair was unkempt, nearly feral. They must have kept her separate from the other prisoners but that didn’t ease her tossing and turning under the fluorescent lights. Natasha had been in holding cells, she’d been stripped of her clothes for testing, and her dignity for much less. Something inside of her broke for this girl. This heiress.

“Who are you?”

It was clear that her voice had gone unused for at least a day, maybe more. She shivered and shrunk into herself at the sound of it. Natasha’s features softened ,that break in her soul cracking just a little further. Her file said she was twenty-two, but the girl in front of her was nothing more than a scared child.

“The woman who is getting you out of here.”

“Please don’t talk in riddles,” She moved to press her fingers against her temples. Her hands were pulled back viciously by her binds. “That’s all my mother does. Did. She talks in circles until I’m too confused to find the start.”

“I suppose that’s fair. You’re Eleanors daughter. Katherine?”

“Kate, but yeah. I’m her daughter.”

It was said with so much bitterness. They weren’t being held at the same facility. Kate was in a deep blue shirt made out of something that was less like fabric and more like paper. She wore the pants to match, her clothes being tested for gunpowder residue.

Eleanor was in a large brick jail in an orange jumpsuit. Natasha had considered going to her but found much more interest in her daughter; the one brave enough to stand up against Wilson Fisk and his incredible size. Bishop took King and destroyed a good amount of property in her district in the process. She’d have to pay thousands to get the folded storefront fixed.

“My name is Natasha Romanoff.”

The sentence was simple and conjured fear. She could see the look in Kate’s face. The girl threw her back against the metal chair, and it screeched from the force. “Why are you here?”

“You smashed my window, and a few displays, and I’m pretty sure you set off an explosive.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

“With what, Kate?”

She paled at this. It was apparent that not only had her assets been frozen, but her mother’s as well. They barely had enough to cover legal fees, much less cosmetics that suffered the aftershock of the blow. She sighed and stared at the cold metal table. It was too scratched to show her reflection.

“I didn’t come here to make you feel bad, Kate. Calling law enforcement on your own mother is a ballsy thing to do. It also makes you a snitch. If you get charged, if you get locked up, it’s not something you’ll make it out of.”

“I know that.” She whipped her head up, eyes hard with anger. They softened after just a moment, to something scared. “I know.”

A silence fell over them both, one that Natasha let settle heavily on her chest. Kate was a spitfire, she was a spoiled girl who had a moment of clarity and turned her mother into law enforcement. She was regretting that now, shivering into herself, having to wait until after the holidays until anything could move from the stone it was trapped in.

Natasha had influence with the guards, and with the chief of police in this district. They had an understanding, and she fully intended to walk out of here with Kate Bishop under her wing. Not for free, of course. Natasha was charitable, but even her good deeds stretched so far.

“I’ve already paid your bail and they’re more than happy to release you into my custody.”

She scoffed “Your custody? I’m an adult.”

“You might be an adult, but you’re one without money, without a home, and I’m guessing everyone that’s still alive and free in your life isn’t too keen on taking you in.”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay,” Natasha said in a breath, staring hard at the girl across from her. She looked so washed out under the harsh lights of the room. Despite her anger, her poisonous words, she reminded Natasha of a dog that broke free from her leash and had almost too much freedom to handle.

The woman stood, her chair sliding elegantly compared to the horrid noise that Kate’s had produced. Natasha moved to pull on her coat, covering the deceivingly hard muscles in her arms. Kate had pretended not to stare; but it was fruitless. All she could think about was what those hands had done, what they could do.

Of course, she felt some veil of safety with the cameras being here. Surely, someone would come in and pull Natasha back the second she started to advance on her, if she started to advance. The distance between them was closed and she sat on the edge of the table. Kate pushed herself flat against the back of the chair.

 Natasha didn’t do well with being told ‘no’. She also didn’t do well with expletives directed towards her instead of because of her. Natasha’s slender hand wrapped around the cold chain attached to Kate’s wrists, she pulled forward and Kate’s sore ribs collided with the edge of the table. She let out a dissatisfied grunt.

She grabbed the back of Kate’s head and slammed her cheek against the cold surface with a dull thud. Natasha didn’t’ let up on her weight, instead, she held her in the perfect position to maintain control.

“Here’s how this is going to work,” Natasha knelt down, making eye contact with Kate. She pushed against the hold, but Natasha had the leverage. Kate flexed her fingers, still in chains. “You destroyed my storefront, and while I toyed with the idea of killing you for that alone, you’ve impressed me.”

“I’ve impressed you?”

Her words were smushed, drool pooling from her lips. It was almost comical, but Natasha pushed harder on the back of her neck, making her cry out. “I’m talking. When I’m talking, you’re not.”

She was met with silence and figured that was as good as she was going to get with this one. Her spit-fire reminded her a bit of Clint when he was younger. It made Natasha gravitate towards him, but this girl had a lot more to learn than her closest friend.

“You’re a spoiled little brat who crumbled one of the oldest clocktowers in the city. The habit didn’t’ seem to improve when your mother cut off your credit cards and that’s a dangerous thing. Getting the shit kicked out of you in jail might serve you well. So, by all means, you can try your luck, or you can follow me out of here so I can correct your behavior.”

Kate swallowed hard, but she didn’t’ say anything. Natasha’s first lesson seemed to be sinking in. After a few moments, she released the girl who sprang up like a jack in the box. She was giving Natasha the same look that she was used to, one of absolute fear. Her face was red and when she moved to wipe her chin of drool, she was stopped once again by her chains.

Natasha took pity on her, for just a moment, and used her thumb to ebb away the line of spit. Kate knew better than to pull back, instead she looked up at Natasha like a kicked puppy, making a small noise in the back of her throat.

“Anyone who stands up to Wilson Fisk is too valuable to kill for some property damage. But let me be clear, Kate, this is not a get-out of jail free card. You work for me. You belong to me. And we’re going to fix that attitude of yours.”

He had moved to the city during Kate’s senior year and wasn’t much for talking. Eli Bradley was as mysterious as they came. He was lanky and had deep brown eyes that were so dark they were nearly black in color. Eli wore a gold hoop in one ear, and while Kate would usually find something like that off-putting, it worked on Eli.

She played cello in the orchestra, first chair with pride, and he was modest with a viola. She made a point to make eye contact with him at least once a day, and eventually he started to return her small smiles. She thought the subtle way his lip quirked up at the corner was nothing but endearing.

In early October of that year, when the air was still crisp but not exactly cold, Kate had sat in the courtyard until the sun threatened to dip behind the horizon. She was avoiding going home to get ready for a party her mother was hosting and had worked it out so she could take the last bus uptown.

“Isn’t it a little dangerous for a pretty girl like you to be out here all alone? It’s getting dark.”

Kate frowned, but quickly retracted the expression when she made out the form of Eli Bradley and the silhouette of his viola case. It hung at his side like a briefcase filled with important papers. Instead, she hiked herself forward and leaned her elbows against her knees. He’d never spoken to her before.

“I’m a 9th degree red belt in Jiu Jitsu, and I have pepper spray. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Impressive,” Eli grinned “I guess it would be pointless to walk you home then, Kate Bishop.”

“I think I can make an exception, Eli Bradley.”

Kate did find herself making exceptions for Eli Bradley over the next few months. She would let him order for her, even if she didn’t find the dish he chose at all appetizing. She had to gently remind him that she was, in fact, allergic to shellfish and if she ate the pasta he insisted on she’d need an epi-pen.

He made up for it by being a gentleman and opening the car door for her when they pulled up to said restaurant.

Kate stepped behind Eli one winter evening when it was the type of dark outside that breeds bad behavior. A woman in a hoodie stepped out from an alleyway, twitching and with a wild look in her eyes. Kate could have easily disarmed her, could have gotten her someplace warm. Eli had delivered a hit to the stomach and pulled Kate along. It was a blur. But she’d never felt fear- just regret.

He made up for it by holding her tight that night, his warmth and sturdiness eventually lulled her to sleep and convinced her that maybe she could live with herself. Maybe she could live with Eli.

Clint Barton glowered at her over his bowl of cereal. Natasha didn’t know if it was some sort of interrogation technique, but it even made her uncomfortable. It was much too early in the morning and Kate’s wrists were still an ugly purple from how tight her cuffs had been. Natasha may have pulled a bit too hard, aggravating the already raw area.

“Your cheerios are going to get soggy,” Yelena entered the kitchen in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, scratching the exposed skin of her stomach with a stifled yawn. She stopped for just a moment to regard Kate, who sat up with a rim-rod quickness. “You always dump them down the sink and it makes the drain smell.”

Clint looked towards Natasha for help. She shrugged, adjusting the reading glasses on the bridge of her nose. She had pulled the paper in this morning and was very careful to remove the front page story of Kate’s mother and her set trial date. She may be cruel in some aspects, but psychological torture was Yelena’s department.

“Who is this?” Yelena asked, voice muffled by the chill of the refrigerator.

“This is Kate. She’ll be here for a while, and if she behaves well enough, she’ll be here longer than that. I expect both of you to regard her well and teach her everything you know.” Natasha took a sip of her steaming black coffee. “Hand to hand combat should not be an issue, isn’t that right, Kate?”

Kate waited a moment, remembering the sting of the table against her cheek. Natasha had asked her a question so it was okay to answer, right? It must be. She had a tendency to not stop talking once she started but it was clear from the prying eyes in the room that she was expected to reply.

“Yes,” She found her voice easier than she had in the jail. “I’m advanced in Jiu Jitsu, hand-to-hand combat, fencing, sword fighting, archery, kick-boxing. Once I used a set of staves from this really nice woman named Bobbi…”

She trailed off when she realized Clint had stopped fishing for the last cheerio and Yelena had cracked open a bottle of juice like she was snapping the neck of a small animal. Her cheeks turned a bright pink, and she averted her gaze.

Natasha smiled softly and took another long sip of her drink. The blonde woman, the one with the chiseled jaw and the striking green eyes, let out a hum. Her stare raked up and down Kate’s form, even while she was shrinking into herself.

“I will train her.”

“That’s not an option, Yel. I want to utilize her, not kill her.”

Kate’s head shot up at the word. She caught Clint’s stare, and he gave her a dejected shrug before pushing the little life-raft of a cheerio under the milk once more. He had no interest in eating it, just drowning it.

Yelena was smiling wolfishly, lilting her head to the side like it was the most innocent thing in the world. “Kill her? Sister, I would never. She’s clearly an asset. If you let Clint train her then she’ll be regressing.”

Kate watched the tension bounce back and forth between the two like a sadistic game of ping-pong. Yelena had just hit the little orange ball with enough force and trajectory to burn a hole directly through Natasha’s paddle.

She’d never dream of pushing Natasha in the slightest, much-less the way that Yelena did right now. Her body language was relaxed and quiet. The two of them stared at each other, and the newspaper was folded, discarded in favor of the stand-off.

“I will not kill her,” Yelena reassured, yet somehow, Kate hadn’t been assured the first time, nor the second time. “Give me a chance.”

Susan Bishop had a harder stare than Eleanor. She had inherited it from her, Kate was sure, but knew how to work it like a double-edged blade. Rarely would she look at Kate. Even rarer so was the two of them being in the same place for more than six minutes at a time.

Kate had her eyes downcast, pretending to read the same paragraph of the same book over and over again. Once she felt the sharp stare of her older sister on the side of her face, it shown brighter than the sun above them.

She’d been stretched out on a poolside chair, just enjoying the pungent scent of chlorine and the occasional low hum of a car passing their large home. It was too chilly for her to actually swim, but she had a fuchsia bathing suit under her long-sleeve shirt and jeans nonetheless.

Susan had settled into the seat next to her and let out a deep sigh as she typed quickly on her cellphone. Kate had cast her a sidelong glance, but quickly pretended to lose interest. They were going back and forth like this for a long, pregnant moment.

Eventually, Susan sighed and softly closed the book in Kate’s hand, not regarding the page that she was on. Kate didn’t mind much. Her older sister never did anything softly. Kate’s heart thrummed in her chest when their eyes met.

“Hi?” Kate cautioned.

“Hi. We need to talk.”

“What do you want?” There wasn’t anything Kate had that Susan didn’t. Hell- she could ask Eleanor for anything and would instantly get it. There were no rules for the eldest, responsible, child. All of that strangling focus was on Kate.

“I don’t want anything. I just want to talk. Sister to sister.”

“Right… sister to sister.”

“You need to break up with Eli.”

The statement through Kate back. It was like Susan had kicked her directly in the diaphragm. The oxygen in her lungs deflated and she stared at her sister in disbelief. Then in startled rage. What did right did Susan have to meddle in her relationship like this?

Kate wanted to tell her just that, but nothing came out except for the last squeeze of air that could be interpreted as a noise of discontent, but Susan never was good at reading signals and Kate needed a fleeting second to catch her train of thought after it had been so violently derailed.

“I get the appeal of the student athlete, I’ve had plenty of them myself, but Eli is not the man for you. You can do better.”

“Seriously? Is this mom speaking or you?”

“This is all me, sweetie.” She didn’t’ say it in a condescending way. In fact- Susan actually reached out and gently touched Kate’s bare arm. She tensed under her, but the hand wasn’t removed. Not even when dark grey eyes looked at her incredulously. “I don’t like the way he changes you.”

“Changes me? You think Eli changes me?”

“I think he makes you shrink and Bishop women are never meant to shrink.”

“That’s all mom has ever done.” Kate bit back venomously.

“Wrong. Mother has full control over Father, she just makes him think that he doesn’t. She’s the decision maker and if she has to keep a hand on his shoulder to do that, then so be it. The world listens to men, and looks at women. It’s how society is. But Eli? He’s binding your hands, not taking them.”

Kate shoved Susan’s hand from her arm and placed both feet on the ground. She didn’t have to listen to this… this practical stranger. Susan didn’t’ know what she was talking about, and neither did Eleanor. They were both ignorant to the way she felt about Eli and the way Eli felt about her. He wanted to the best for her.

Sometimes- she just had to remind him that she was allergic to shellfish.

“Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine.” She gritted before standing. She disregarded her book, not that interested anyway, and began walking to the patio doors. Tears had started to sting her eyes. First out of sadness, and then maybe a mix of malice.

“He’s cheating on you.”

Susan said it so softly that could pretend she hadn’t heard it. The water filter for the pool was loud enough to drown out the statement. But she’d stopped with one foot on the bottom step of the patio and the other planted firmly on solid cement. Her nails dug stinging half-crescents into palm.

“You’re wrong.”

“Ask him.”

“I won’t,” She turned, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “Because I trust Eli. Maybe you could grant the same to me.”

Her childhood home held onto the darkness like a vice. A place that was once so maintained and bright was past falling into lawn decay. The pristine shrubbery had springing curls of foliage and the grass hadn’t been painted like her father insisted upon each year.

The structure stood strong, only a few months and some change abandoned. A small strip of tape on the mahogany door was the only indication that this had been an active crime scene at one point. The FBI had taped an order against it before they shattered the wood with a battering ram and raided the home.

Kate hadn’t been back since. She’d been living out of her Aunt Mira’s apartment and wearing her eccentric clothing. But the elder woman would be back soon and eventually she would need to get her own belongings back. If she didn’t, then squatters would when they realized just how vacant the home really was.

Yelena let out a low whistle as she peered up at the home, as if they didn’t live in one with the same amount of wealth. Even the tone she produced sent shivers down Kate’s spine. It had been four months since that day in the precinct.

Each day was spent from dawn to dusk in Yelena’s presence, and it never became easier for Kate. She was a bumbling and incompetent mess around the woman but had grown some kind of comfort in her presence. Kate no longer believed she was in danger at her hand specifically.

That didn’t’ mean that her body didn’t ache from the constant hell that Yelena had been putting her through to put her in ‘the peak performance state- Kate Bishop’. Yelena only said her first name and barked it at her if her pace lessened on one of their multiple-mile runs, or grueling weight training sessions.

Kate didn’t want to admit that she was entranced by the tone of Yelena’s muscles. She chalked it up to admiration, because that’s all it was. Admiration. And a bit of resentment. But Kate’s chest puffed out proudly when she noticed the way her own body began to change under Yelena’s tutelage. Enough that she was ready to go back to her old home for some closure, for some clothes.

Natasha shoved her keys into her pocket and fell in line on Kate’s right side. She peered up at the expertly crafted wood. It had begun to chip. Kate thought that was ironic; it had always been so pristine, but the more she thought about it, she’d often duck under a ladder to step into the foyer.

Bad luck all around, and a simple patch job that would crumble if not properly cared for.

“We can just buy you new clothes,” Natasha urged in that flittingly careful way that made Kate know she really did give a damn, but not if you asked. “You don’t have to go in there.”

“And add to the debt I already owe you for busting me out of jail?”

“I think she has to do this.” Yelena said firmly.

She was right. Kate had to do this. She was always handed everything in life so easily and it made her reckless, but far from undisciplined. It just took Natasha slamming her face against the cold metal of an unclean table for her to get some sense knocked back into her.

Kate had called the police on her mother. She’d done it after the knowledge of crimes committed festered and grew in her mind. It bred resentment in her mind until she came face to face with the fact that she wasn’t putting her mom away, she was putting a monster away.

Stepping through these doors would humanize her and it would cut Kate deep enough to draw blood. But then, she felt Yelena’s fingers on the small of her back. A light touch that was telling Kate that she wasn’t as alone as she thought she was.

The door let out a whine of protest when she pushed it open. They were met with a stale scent and a soft glow that ruminated from what Kate knew best as the living area. There was a grand piano that was mostly untouched, and large oak bookshelves that had multiple editions of old encyclopedias bound in leather.

She and Susan used to flip through them and try to pronounce the words by phonic spelling. They’d trace their little fingers over the inked illustrations and giggle if they had found something even remotely obscene. She remembers the word ‘Dam’ making them laugh until they couldn’t breathe.

Natasha’s hand darted out and pressed against Kate’s mid-section. Her other one grabbed the gun from the back of her pants. She shot the girl a sideways glance. “You left that on?” she mouthed.

Kate shook her head, her fingers itching for her own weapon. She didn’t have one. While Kate was an expert at professional archery and her aim wasn’t in question by anyone in the room- her familiarity with handguns with the serial number scratched off was minute. Yelena had pulled her own weapon, jaw firm.

Maybe squatters had broken in, and if they had, she’d gladly allow them to have the place. She just needed to stuff a duffel bag full of items and the small sentimental necklace she had gotten from her father as a child, and then she would be on her merry way.

Natasha stepped around the corner and raised her gun, screaming something that was drowned out by the startled yells of another. Kate recognized that yell, that rasp. She frowned, letting the tension in her shoulders drop before she got a good look at the living room herself.

It was incredibly lived in and lit by a single lamp that had it’s shade discarded. It was blinding and left spots in her eyes, but not enough to disregard the box of white sticky rice that had spilled all over the floor like maggots.

There was a makeshift bed on the couch and a few of those encyclopedias strewn about as if they were bedtime reading. In the center of it all; Eli Bradley with his hands up and a fork between his lips. His mouth dropped open and it fell to the floor with a dull thud.

He was shirtless, in a pair of boxers that Kate was pretty sure was her fathers. She was thankful she hadn’t eaten before this because the simple fact was enough to make her gag.

“Elijah?” She exclaimed.

“You know this guy?” Yelena asked, voice tight. She lowered her weapon, but Natasha kept hers in the same position it was before, trained right at his genitals and ready to shoot at a moments notice.

Kate wished with her entire body that she didn’t. His boxers held his athletic thighs, his deep brown eyes flashing to the guns aimed at him. Yelena was never a patient woman but somehow, in this moment, Kate knew deep down that she would be patient here. Her mouth was dry and her throat like sandpaper. It was incredibly hard to swallow.

“I’m her boyfriend.” Eli sounded out, his fingers twitching “I have a key.”

Yelena looked at Kate with pleading eyes, to which she received a nod in return. Kate supposed she hadn’t officially broken up with the man in front of her. The aimed weapons were lowered to the floor, but Natasha kept her hold. One false move and she wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet through his bare foot.

“Yel, idi soberi yey sumku.”

Kate didn’t understand a lick of Russian, but she knew that Natasha’s tone was not to be questioned. Yelena holstered her weapon and slinked up the stairs. She’d be able to guess which room was Kate’s. The trophies and medals and photos tacked up to bulletin boards. It was the only room Kate was allowed to personalize, and even then, it was meant to be spotless.

Natasha must have caught onto the tension in Kate’s stance. She shoved her hands into her pockets, shoulders hunched and eyes submissive. It wasn’t something she wanted to see in her young trainee.

It wasn’t at all the woman that sat across from her in an interrogation room. Not even with her face her neck in Natasha’s grip. Something was wrong, and it was something stronger than Kate being back in her childhood home. That warranted sadness. But compliance? Absolutely not.

“Katie, baby. Who is this?” Eli asked. “Come on, you can tell me.”

When Kate opened her mouth to speak, Natasha held up a hand, instantly silencing her. The woman lilted her head to the side, unripe eyes taking in the scene in front of her; the discarded take-out containers, the balled-up socks in the corner of the room. The rain that had begun to pound against the roof and slather itself across windowpanes.

Natasha’s voice came out as a snarl “I’d love to introduce myself, but first, could you ask your little friend to come out from behind the curtains?”

Kate’s stare hardened and she whipped her head up accusingly. Still, she didn’t say a word. The wine-red Versailles fabric shifted; the view blocked by the grand piano but not enough for Natasha to ignore. Kate’s mother had spent hours looking over Swatches that would fit the room, and eventually chose the option that brought the room into a gothic elegance.

Kate didn’t need to wait to know who it was. Cassie Lang. Best friend, confidant, and exactly who Kate caught in bed with Elijah weeks before. But this was different. This was her home. It had already been violated by law enforcement. Torn apart just for two of her friends, people she trusted and loved, to take advantage of its vacancy.

“That’s better,” Natasha purred. Cassie was shaking because of the cold, wearing only a silk robe that belonged to Kate’s sister. “Now, let’s all have a chat.”

 “Kate, Katie, it’s not what it looks like. Just… tell your friends to leave and I’ll explain everything.”

Eli attempted to step towards her, hands no longer raised in caution but reaching towards Kate. Natasha felt a surge of anger lick against her skin. She stepped between them, splaying her hand out on his chest before shoving him recklessly onto the center of the couch.

He sprung back onto his feet, voice dripping in venom “Back off lady! I’m trying to talk to my girlfriend here!”

Natasha let out a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest before turning her gaze to Kate. Something about this situation was juvenile, but so important. Though she only had the girl under her care for a few weeks now, she felt nothing but warmth towards her.

She’d mislabeled her as a rich, undisciplined trust fund baby. Natasha didn’t’ often admit her mistakes but that had been one that weighed heavily on her. Sure, Katherine Bishop had a bit of an incorrigible sass to her, but it wasn’t unwarranted. Her boasting was backed up by actions true to her words. Strong, determined, actions.

Natasha hated how she was shrinking. Hated how this man had chipped away at her until she was hugging her mid-section to stop the thrumming pain of betrayal. She couldn’t’ find the words, they were lodged in her throat. There was the strong suspicion that if she hadn’t sent Yelena away, they’d be scrubbing blood from an imported carpet.

Something tole Natasha that Kate never got a choice in this relationship, and she wasn’t about to continue the toxic pattern that had led to her demure state.

 “Ketrin,” Natasha’s voice was soaked with her native tongue “Would you like me to take care of this?”

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, almost like a fish. Words escaped her. Natasha’s soft exhale brought her back to the room. Everything was fuzzy around the edges and reminded her of the first time she had pushed herself too hard in competition. She never lost consciousness but came close to it.

Yelena had successfully pilfered a duffel bag, having removed the sabers that resided there and filled it with whatever clothes she could find. Kate felt her stomach flip at the naive idea that the Russian woman had gone through her underwear drawer.

She flicked her eyes back to Eli, his chest heaving up and down as he eyed the gun still in Natasha’s grasp. Cassie was still like a statue, rubbing her palms on the silk fabric of her robe. She had the decency to look guilty.

“Take care of it.”

The words were barely more than a hurt whisper. She didn’t trust herself right now, not with the sharp pain that coursed through her veins. Tears had stung her eyes in the back of the detective’s car, but she didn’t know if that was on account of Eli or Eleanor.

Kate silently excused herself as the silence that settled over the room became thicker, palpable. Yelena’s deep stare was on Kate in a way that made her squirm. But she remained at the head of the stairs, even stepping to the side when Kate began to trek to a room that had already been rifled through. There was an unspoken agreement. Natasha would take care of it.

 “What’s your name?” she asked, directing the question towards the girl.

“Cassie.” Elijah answered.

Natasha held her hand up to him again, fingers barely ghosting his shoulder. He shivered at the near touch but snapped his mouth shut. “I wasn’t asking you. I was asking her. Sweetie?”

“It’s Cassie… Cassie Lang.”

“Okay, Cassie.” She kept her voice soft, cajoling. “I want you to go home and get some rest. And under no circumstance are you going to call law enforcement. I’ll be informed immediately if you do so. Do you understand?”

She nodded frantically, keeping her head down as she moved to smooth past Natasha. The woman grabbed her sleeve, holding her in place for just a moment. She was so close she could smell the sex on her, see the sweat against her brow and the fear in her stare.

“Sweetheart. I suggest you learn to keep better company.”

Cassie let out a squeak that almost bled into a whine before taking advantage of Natasha’s loose hold. She darted with a quickness unseen, the door slamming behind her, the roar of the rain hissing to a muffled stop.

“And you?”

“What about me?” Elijah asked in a nauseatingly confident way.  

Natasha let out a long sigh and studied him. Everything from the way he stood to the faux dog tags that hung against his chest bled fury. This was exactly the type of man that would attract someone like Kate with a level of badger-like charm before clamping his jaw down on her throat.

Thankfully, Kate’s mother had fantastic taste in artwork. A bronze Clyde Ball piece lingered by the entryway. While he was known for his extensive statue work and abstract designs, Natasha liked that he used a heavier metal, one with a base that was easily grasped.

With a sly swing of the hand she connected the corner of the object with Eli’s temple. A flash of blood instantly stained his skin and splayed against the floor when he collapsed. Natasha dropped the artwork next to him. She let out a hum, figuring that a Clyde Ball may be worth purchasing after all.  

His truck had kicked up a rut in the normally spotless lawn. Eli had barely missed the mailbox with his erratic driving- which was bold considering the amount of unmarked and marked police vehicles that encircled Kate’s property.

Kate was sitting on the front steps, the concrete cold and unwelcome against the small of her back. They’d handcuffed her and her fingers were numb. Still, she flexed them when the commotion caught her attention. They didn’t’ bother with police tape, but a man in a wrinkled suit stopped Eli.

It took her a few long moments to realize that Cassie was in the passenger seat of the truck. She made eye contact with Kate, a look of sorrow forcing her to glance away. She was wearing Eli’s lettered jacket and naively, Kate convinced herself for a fleeting moment it had something to do with the busted heating vents in the old vehicle.

She knew better.

She’d smelled Eli’s specific spicy brand of cologne and deodorant on Cassie the last time they embraced. His lips tasted of the bubblegum ChapStick that Cassie had worn everyday since the six grade when Kate landed on her during a game of spin the bottle. Admittedly, she felt more during that kiss than anything she’d ever shared with Eli.

Kate adjusted her shoulder against the hold of the cuffs. They were uncomfortable, digging into her wrists. Even if she wanted to break out of them, she couldn’t. She was a nervous fidgeter and Elijah was using some degree of charm to weasel his way past the officer blocking him. Just as he’d weaseled his way into Cassie’s pants.

“Oh my god, Katie.” He rushed out when he got to her, kneeling down on the damp sidewalk. It was unnaturally cold and they hadn’t let Kate pull on a jacket over the tank top she wore for her morning run. His hands ran down her thighs and squeezed her knees. “Fuck, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Kate’s stare brushed past Elijah blankly and to the fogging up window of his truck. If Cassie hadn’t already been wearing his jacket, she was sure he’d offer it to her, an offer she would vehemently deny. All of his charm, his commanding power, had been washed away with her mothers as she ducked her head and settled into the back of a squad car. One that probably had heat.

“Jesus, I heard that this place was swarming with cops. What did you do?”

“What did you?”

“I don’t… Katie, babe, come on.” He glanced back at the car and when he turned to face Kate once more, their eyes locked. He didn’t’ need to say anything and neither did she. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Kate felt the warmth of Detective Brigid O’Reilly behind her. She wasn’t a stranger to Kate, but she acted like one when she tightened the cuffs around her wrists. Temporary informant or not, Kate was still a Bishop and they weren’t trusted in this town.

“Miss Bishop. It’s time to go.”

Her forearm was gripped and she was pulled to her feet with a grunt. Her legs were numb, needles rushing through them. Part of her was grateful for being dragged away. The other part was terrified, sad, hurt and angry. They’d all betrayed her.

“Where are you taking her?”

“Fifteenth precinct. Don’t waste your breath, kid. She’ll be indisposed for a few hours. Take your little girlfriend home.”

He winced at the detective’s words and averted his stare to the ground. Kate let herself get let to the unmarked Lincoln town car. At least she’d save the humiliation as the whole lights and sirens routine.  

Most of the time, they didn’t wake up screaming, but Elijah did. His senses were overwhelmed, and his body instantly registered the cold and the slickness of muck beneath him. Even over the brutal beating of falling rain, he could hear the cars that swept past on the highway.

His head was pounding, and the headlights of vehicles passing over the highpoint of evergreens only served as something more disorienting. It was only when a crack of lightening flashed across the sky did he notice the woman standing over him, a shovel slung over her shoulder.

So, he screamed, and he swore she smiled at the sound.

He turned over on his stomach and coughed into the mud, his toes not finding purchase in the mud. Natasha’s boot came down on the center of his back and he found himself sprawling, tasting a mix of metal and dirt. He realized that he underestimated the situation Kate had gotten herself into.

“Good morning, Elijah.” She crowed, dropping the shovel next to his face, barely missing his brow. He flinched and shrunk into himself. “I have a job for you.”

She used the tip of her shoe to flip him over onto his back. The falling rain that had gotten through the pine needles above him hit his face in a cooling effect. He saw another set of headlights, eyes darting towards the road. Maybe if he yelled loud enough, all of this would be over.

“I need you to dig a hole.”

“What?” He panted out, his breath leaking out in puffs of condensation. “a hole?”

“Mm, glad I didn’t rupture an eardrum. It needs to be a big hole. How tall are you?”

“I don’t… What?”

Natasha knelt next to him, a sadistic smile falling from her lips. Instead, it was replaced with something darker. Almost as if a flip was switched. Her deep red hair was adhered to her forehead from the rain, her jaw clenched and unclenched.

“I don’t know you, Elijah. But, I know Kate and that girl has been through hell and back. She’s guarded and hides behind her humor to deflect the pain that she’s experiencing. And to me… it seems like you’re a big catalyst here.”

His breathing had become shuddered. Natasha grabbed the shovel before standing and delivering a swift kick to his side. His ribs instantly ached and a cry escaped him. She wanted him to right himself and to safe another deadly spark of pain, he complied.

She had, in fact, started a small divot where she expected him to dig. Tears were running down his face, small sobs muffled by his determination to put on a front. She didn’t’ find any admiration in his sniveling. Instead, she let him scoop out three frothy loads of dirt before she continued, circling like a lion.

His hands had started to bleed.

“She believed in you enough to trust you and you turn around and fuck her best friend?” Natasha got close, yelled over the rain. He stuttered in his movements, clenched his eyes shut. “Don’t stop digging! Was she not enough for you?”

Elijah stuck the tip of the shovel back into the soup of rainwater and mud. It was a black slush at this point, something he could drown in if he laid facedown for long enough. “She was… she was.”

“Then why did you do it, huh? You took everything she was and whittled her down to nothing before discarding her for someone else you could break. Is that it? Did that make you feel more like a man?”

He didn’t’ respond, instead, moving another round of slop to the side of a hole that was starting to look more and more like a grave. He was up to his knees in cold, unforgiving water. His toes flexed in the icy earth.

“Answer me!” She yelled with enough anger to split earth. However, Natasha didn’t give him the chance. She dug her nails into the back of his neck and shoved him forward into the muck. He could taste dirt, words bubbling.

Elijah groaned and brought himself to his knees. His ears were ringing, his heart pounding in his throat. He was crying loudly now, sitting back on his heels. Natasha was above him, standing on the edge of the grave he had just dug. Headlights flashed over her cold stare.

“If you’re feeling helpless, Elijah, so was she. Kate needed you, and you weren’t there for her. She was suffocating, and everyone could see it, but you kept her just out of reach, didn’t you?”

“Yes! Yes,” He groaned out, digging his fingers into the soft earth. “Fuck, yes. I hurt her, I know that.”

“Lay down.”

“What?” His voice broke.

“You’re going to lay here until morning.” She knelt down “You’re not going to move a muscle.”

“I’ll drown,”

“You might.” She growled, taking account of the heaviness of the rain, the way the tires of passing vehicles sloshed around in the collected puddles. “But at least you’d understand how Kate felt.”

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[seancekitsch]

Can't Stand Me Now: a modern Aegon x Stark! reader fic

CHAPTER SIX: House of Jealous Lovers

series masterlist here

warnings for the series: smut, smoking, drinking, friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff

You wake up next morning to snoring in your ear and 97 notifications on your phone. Without even looking at it, you know exactly what they are. Fuck. Your stomach turns, as if you’re about to be sick. You pull on Aegon’s arm, fit snug around you, as you turn in his grasp. You’d forgotten his penchant for both clinging and spooning; now you lay victim to both, as you feel the walls close in on you. 

“Aeg,” you attempt to rouse him, and his brows furrow, but his eyes don’t open.

“Aeg!” this time louder, and he flinches. The fucker is awake. 

“Aegon,” you laugh, pressing kisses all over his face until he cracks a smile, pushing you away gently. 

“Already suffocating me, woman,” he jokes, swatting your hair away from his face, “Who knew you were so needy?” 

“Aegon, we’re fucked,” you tell him, voice cracking as you speak. The levity of the moment disappears for you, fear now bone deep. 

“No? We did fuck,” he responds, “and we’re gonna fuck again if you let me.”

You reach around for your phone, shoving it screen first into his face. He groans, reading and scrolling through a few of them before tossing your phone down towards the edge of the bed. He throws his head back as he grimaces, and pulls you into his chest. 

“Why do they have to ruin this? Me and Sunfyre just got you back! Can we please ignore it and just stay here all day?” He whines, and part of you wants to agree. You’d made up for lost time, you’re finally back in Aegon’s orbit and now his bed. Something feels sacred and right about this, and you’d like for nothing more than to lounge around naked all day with him, maybe only putting on clothes to smoke on the balcony or order door dash. 

“We weren’t careful enough,” you mumble, burying your face into his neck. You squeeze your eyes shut, tightly knitting your eyelashes together. 

“Sure, but at least I only saw pictures of us kissing.”

And he’s at least half right, that is a genuine relief you feel all the way into your spine. At least there are not pictures of Aegon fucking you on his fingers for the entire internet and your family to see. Part of your dignity is saved, amidst the swirling insults and cheating rumors at which you are in the forefront. Somehow, the vicious names are not hurled nearly as much as Aegon, but you know why. 

“Can you make like… I don’t know,” you sigh, your mind drifting to your shop, “Like one of those awfully corny instagram posts to clear the air?”

You ask that, as if you don’t know his grandfather is probably going to chew him out, as if this doesn’t give his half sister more fuel to the fire in the company. He doesn’t want it anyway, he just wants his lifestyle. She can be CEO as long as he has his flat and his shoes and his car. But you have your own reputation, your own livelihood to think about. This cannot be good for sales, cannot be good for online reviews, cannot be good for social media. While you don’t make your face a symbol of your brand, it’s not hard to make connections, and a lot of your sales base knows who you are. There’s a very real chance your buyers will believe the rumors and will take their business elsewhere. There’s a chance connections will not want to work with you, bigger stores will not want to stock your designs. 

“Are you kidding? Me? PR friendly?” Aegon jokes, but your silence stops him from laughing. It’s bigger than just the two of you, and he is adept and understanding your moods in particular. He pushes your hair away from your face, and then pulls you out of his neck, your eyes still squeezed shut. 

“Stark?” he asks, his thumb rubbing gentle lines back and forth on your cheekbone. 

You only shake your head. You refuse to cry over this. Refuse to let whatever anyone says get to you in a way that matters. You know what has transpired between you and Aegon. He is warmth that brings you in like a moth to the flame, 

“Hey, hey I can post,” he reassures you, his voice a little panicked. Great, now you feel bad about that too. You open your watery eyes for him, your pout hard to hide. His face is marred with worry, the faint scar under his eye appearing deeper, more garish. His eyes hold nothing but comfort and concern for you. 

“Listen, whatever I can do to help you.”

And he’s sincere when he says it. You nod to him, understanding. He visibly un-tenses when you acknowledge him, and moves into action. 

Aegon releases you from his hold, only to lean back and reach behind himself to grab his own phone set on his charger. He flinches when he sees his screen, probably a similar barrage of texts, calls, and notifications. His thumbs move quickly, tapping against the screen as he scrawls out a note, swiping occasionally when you assume notifications come up. You curiously look at your own phone, and note ten texts from your family group chat, sixteen from the group from last night, and literally hundreds of notifications on your instagram. That one will be its own monster. You only click on the group chat from last night, support and memes light up the screen. If anything, you have them. 

Aegon shifts, sitting up while still furiously typing, his brows knitted together and tongue peeking out from between his chapped lips. You want to whine at the loss of his warmth, but the sight of him stops you. He looks beautiful with the way the sunlight reaches and sets ablaze his silver hair. 

He turns the phone towards you, his brows raised as he waits for you to read it. 

It’s an instagram post, the picture being the same one that he left in your jacket, his favorite.

The caption reads:

“There are many rumors lately, surrounding myself and those I hold dear. While attempting to maintain privacy, I had no way of knowing that the timeline of my personal relationships would remain public interest. My friends and family are deserving of the utmost respect and space. Any ‘faults’ or ‘blames’ should be leveled at me for any misconceptions you may have. Please respect the privacy of my best friend.”

“How is that?” he asks, the same tone of voice he used to have when showing you papers for revision. Aegon and writing have never truly mixed, self expression usually difficult and too vulnerable for him. You look from the caption to him, and back down and up again. It’s hard to voice what you think about the caption. It says a lot, not enough to fully dispel rumors, but it is a public defense of you. 

“I find it weird that you can be this eloquent hungover, and yet sober you send me fuckboy DMs grammatical errors.”

Aegon laughs, full and loud, his chest heaving with each howl and cackle as he pulls you back in close to him. 

“Shut up! I’m being helpful,” he manages to gasp as he calms himself down, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he presses post on his screen. 

“Thank you,” you tell him, your voice still small but that heavy weight of anxiety lifted from your chest.

“I think it’ll work,” he tells you, and you believe him. 

“At least maybe our phone batteries,” you agree, and settle into his embrace. It’s a stale sort of happy that drapes a veil over the two of you. You are finally comfortable, finally full again, but this is also the end of something. You can never go back now, pandora’s box opened. It’s a shame really, that you never got to have a bubble of secrecy with Aegon. You would have liked to at least fuck him ten times before the media caught wind of it. You would have liked to design a few green and gold pieces with him in mind before it went public. “It” also being so weird to you. Just yesterday it didn’t exist yet. 

“Can you promise me something?” he asks, whispered, as if his voice might break the spell. 

“Of course.”

“This changes nothing, yeah?”

Of course it does, everything changes now. Your routines, your social lives, your security, your careers, even the relationship will change. It’s futile for him to ask this, but you grant him the promise anyway. Change will not be all bad, especially with Aegon by your side. 

He kisses you instead of saying anything, but this kiss is not like the ones from last night. There’s something deeply desperate with this one, something needing and aggressive in the way his lips find yours. You oblige, parting your lips as you pull him against you, the pair of phones and their vibrating ignored for the heady scent of sweat mixing with day old perfume and cologne. His tongue sweeps across the edge of your teeth, his hands pull and grope at you. Aegon moves quickly, maneuvering himself over you and propping himself up on his elbows. You move your tongue against his, a mouths dancing in sync with one another as your hands tangle in his hair. Aegon’s leg slots between your own, definitively trapping you beneath him. His hands move down, rough hands on soft skin, and pinches a nipple, rolling the bud between his fingertips and you moan into his mouth.  Your hands travel down his bare back, trying weakly to press him to you, the need for his body against yours quickly overtaking your senses again. It’s almost unbelievable, the way your body seeks out his, the way your body has remembered his and what makes him tick. 

“Aegon, please,” you beckon him, and he dips himself down, his length hard and heavy as he ruts agains the apex of your thighs. Your hips buck against him, naturally responding to the need for friction, the need for Aegon. 

“You want me?” he asks, mumbled against your lips. 

“Yeah.”

“You need me?”

“Aegon!” you sigh, exasperated. Of course you need him, of course he doesn’t make this easy for you. He gives in though, shifting until hes got both of his legs firmly between yours, his hips spreading your thighs. He humps against you, his chest brushing against pert nipples with each thrust. His breathing is heavy already, exhaustion from a long night seeping from him like sweat.

“Gonna fuckin,” he interrupts himself, the head of his cock catching on your entrance, your breath hitches in anticipation, “fffuckin’ split you open, baby.”

You moan at his words, hitching your knees up to spread yourself even further for him. His head catches on your entrance a second time as his hips tilt, this time slowly sinking into you. He drops his head onto you when he bottoms out, groaning at the feeling of being completely flush within you. 

He waits to thrust, panting as he gets used to the feeling of you. It’s almost overwhelming, being so full, being so bent up beneath him. Even his breathing as him brushing against the most sensitive spots in you. Stars already form behind your eyes. 

“Aegon, please,” you beg him again, no further explanation needed in your desire for him. He rises up off of you again, his hands planted on either side of your waist as he begins thrusting, slow and deep. He pulls himself almost completely out, then pushes in slowly, roughly bottoming out into you each time. It’s a bruising pace, harsh and perfect. Aegon reaches down, keeping his pace as his hand finds your clit. He rubs quick circles, almost painful compared to the slowness of his thrusts, a deadly combination. Your breath hitches as you gasp, as if each rotation of his fingers pulls the air from your frame.

“Aegon!” you cry, a strangled sob getting caught in your throat.

“There she is,” he urges, nodding as he speeds up the pace of his fingers, “Gimme one.”

He does not need to convince you, each time you squeeze your eyes shut you see the static of stars, each clenching of your muscles sending your nerves alight. Aegon presses harder on your clit, stilling his hips as he holds you in place; Holding you to climax around him.

Aegon more or less forces your climax out of you, holding you in place to spasm and contact beneath him. He encourages you through it, praising you and moaning and begging you to keep going. He doesn’t let up until tears form in the corner of your eyes, silent pleading replacing the moans and yelps from your lips. He kisses you softly, gently, breathing life back into you. You reach up to caress his face, cupping his cheek as he holds you.

It’s only when he’s completely sure that you’re ready to go again that he moves; this time his thrusts are faster, and it’s clear to you that this one is for him.

He ruts into you quickly, short shallow thrusts, but the way he scrunches his brows looks more like frustration than pleasure. He keeps at it, quickening and slowing his pace, changing his angle, pressing his fingers on your clit. You pinch his nipples, you arch into his movements.

No matter what, the frustration remains.

And then you recall Aegon’s penchant for pain. Shaking, you reach your hand up, palm flat.

“This okay?”

Furrowed brows, and then confirmation.

You strike him, contact cracking through the air like lightning.

“Again,” he begs, his eyes pricking with unshed tears.

You strike him again, this time your hand stays on his cheek, rubbing the skin and soothing the area.

Aegon’s hips jerk and stutter, a sign that the slap was exactly what he needed. He pumps into invigorated, his hand once again rubbing tight circles on your clit. Your arms snake around his neck and your legs hook around his waist at the ankles, holding him to you. He looks at you with pure love and desperation.

“Give me one more, please,” Aegon begs, the red mark on his face deepening as he grits his teeth, “Please.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, a prayer. Your arms around his neck pull him closer to you, breath mingling as you grab him in for a kiss.

He comes with a groan, loud and wanton, his pleasure crept up on him not unlike your own. He kisses you as he works himself through it, and you, a weaker second climax.

Aegon collapses on top of you as he finishes, lazily pulling your legs from around his waist and he maneuvers you to lay together. He pants as if he’s run a marathon, sweaty and heavy on top of you.

Besides his exhaustion, he still presses kisses into your skin, still pushes hair from your face, cradles your body to his.

“It’ll be alright, Stark.”

And for the third time this morning, you believe him.

[lorimnnn]

Hiii! May I request something for Kazan Yamaoka?

During a match at the Yamaoka Estate where Kazan sees from a distance survivor reader is gonna go to a gen that's in one of the houses but she catches herself before she steps inside. She takes her shoes off and leaves them at the door before going to the gen. Despite it being a realm different from the real world she still respects Japanese culture. And she does this every time she goes through any houses in his realm.

Idk I'm just curious how Kazan would react to this since none of the other survivors or killers (besides him maybe) respect this. But if not that's totally ok!

omg, I can't explain how much I love this request! I know it took me ages but I'm here! I'm looking to write more on Kazan because there's hardly anything on him.

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warnings: canon-typical violence and gore, life-threatening situations, swearing, i hate editing so obviously it's not edited but i'll probably go over it one day

trope summary: fluff, slow-burn

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You were the last one left. Did you know that?

It had never crossed your mind--- so no, you didn't. You had learned long ago not to care about those types of things when you were facing killers like The Oni. He was a devourer. Your teammates never stood a chance to begin with.

But you didn't know that.

The first time The Entity threw you into The Oni's world, you took off running. That's what your other teammates did, anyway. There had been a collective groan when the fog cleared and you all came to terms with where you were--- then a grim caress of fear that seemed to possess all of you. The sight of your teammates so flighty had struck you the wrong way and you weren't going to go about asking questions about it.

The primal roar in the distance said all that you needed to know.

What was this place, anyway?

It was like you'd time-travelled to Edo-era Japan. It was beautiful and antique and you'd never seen anything quite like it. But you'd always wanted to travel to Japan.

The Entity took that chance away from you.

You found yourself reminiscing over all those lost opportunities. You were never going to get them back. You should've gone even when you were sure you were going to be dirt poor afterwards. You should have taken the chance and travelled everywhere as soon as you got the money for it. You didn't even know what you were saving for. Everyone else was doing it, so you supposed you were supposed to as well. But what was the point of having so much money if you couldn't even use it to buy the things that would make you happy?

If you could go back, you would leap at the chance to travel somewhere here. But you supposed that 'here' wouldn't really exist in the real world. Not like this. Not at the peak of it's grandeur.

Ha! The irony.

Could you even call this a privilege when you were only here to die?

You heard Kate cry out in the distance. You flinched; you needed to wake up. Work on some gens. You were still running aimlessly, trying to get away---

Kate had just died, and here you were.

Admiring the scenery.

Idiot.

You'd always been little airy-fairy. Not quite there, sometimes too much in the moment, sometimes a little too far off. It meant you had a lot of delayed reactions, such as now.

Right now, you needed to be thinking of how to stay alive and keep your teammates that way, too.

So you headed for the house, running faster than ever. The doors were open and you could already see the gen.

"Quick," you muttered to yourself.

Before he catches up to you.

You hadn't seen The Oni, but you'd heard stories about him. Gruesome stories of his brutal, unforgiving nature, his mistaken dignity and honour. A true warrior who had been corrupted by his blood thirst.

You wondered how a samurai of all things learned such villainy. Weren't they all about honour? That's what you'd read in your books, at least. Now you weren't so sure.

Before entering the house with the gen in sight, you paused. You know you shouldn't of. You know that he was the last person in this hellish world deserving of respect when he was literally out killing all of you, but---

But this was different.

"It's the bare minimum," you reassured yourself. It helped comfort your warring fear that you were crazy. That you were empathising with a killer.

You took off your shoes and aligned them neatly outside before heading in and working the gen.

~

Too easy.

It was all too easy. Sometimes so much so that it got boring very quickly--- the same chase, the same screams, the same mindless fury that Entity infused him with. It wasn't as though he cared about the survivors in any way. He couldn't care less if they had families, let alone worth it personalities. But there was no more motive behind the kills. No more drive.

It was the ultimate disgrace to his honour---

But if Kazan admitted that, what would the Entity do?

It would be an insult. It would risk his life and extended existence, and there was so much he hadn't done yet. So much he was already doing that he had vowed to finish. One day the Entity would release him and he would resume his life and old purpose. Or maybe he would start all over again and honour his father better.

That was his secret hope.

You were the last survivor. He hadn't met you yet. Hadn't even heard of you, but he knew that you weren't fresh of the boat if you had eluded him so easily. You must have heard things or been smart to ask if it meant that it was your first instinct to run.

"Shoes...?" He muttered to himself.

He could hear you working on the gen. You were so diligent. So focused.

So naive--- how had you not heard him?

Well, Kazan had been taking his time with you. He didn't attempt to be quiet often. The kills were usually so quick that it didn't even matter. He was fast and they were prey and he would consume them before they even knew they were food.

But that was a thought for another day, because---

Because---

You had put your shoes outside. You had set them up neatly. It was a custom he had almost forgotten about and learned not to apply to the survivors. He never bothered to hold it against them, either. In this game of life and death, customary traditions were the last of any of their worries, even his.

And yet you had remembered.

Something dead twitched in his cold, hollow heart. It was small, but so significant that it barrelled into him--- a short breath escaped him in a husky puff.

Warmth.

He was feeling... warmth.

He looked up from your shoes. He watched you gently, the hardness receding from his gaze for that moment alone--- he observed your fixated frown, the nimble work of your fingers, the way you were still too absorbed to notice him...

Kill.

The Entity's voice startled him, even if it didn't show. It had been a while since she had spoke to him at all, and it was only at the start when he'd been summoned to this cruel arena of death.

Her voice was sharp. Cutting.

A warning.

Kill.

Was this all they were meant to do? To kill and consume, to die and be reborn, only for the cycle to continue until the end of eternity?

Could he really kill you now?

He would never admit it. Not allowed, unless he wanted to die. But the Entity's voice, it had disgusted him. It probably knew that. Somehow, even a fraction of his hesitance had amounted into something significant enough for the Entity to speak--- it knew all.

It knew he wanted to spare you, just for this small gesture.

But it knew he wouldn't.

Kazan killed you in cold blood.

He thought about you long after.

~

The Oni was said to roar when he killed. It was loud and brutal and everyone knew about it--- you became a sacrifice in his hands, and you died with honour.

Did he hate you?

Why had he killed you so silently?

One moment you had been working on the gen. The next you were dead. All you saw was a flash of a grotesque mask. It was drenched in blood but you were still able to make out the curving and elongated features of it, the bright red eyes that shone through and burned through your soul. You hadn't even had time to scream. To feel scared. He had grabbed you and killed you from behind and all you'd seen was the blur that the last seconds of living had afforded you--- in that way, you felt betrayed.

Had you insulted him by doing what you had thought would appease him?

You hadn't even intended to win his favour. That gesture had been out of respect for his culture. It had been more for you than anything.

Did he think you were shitting on his culture instead? What the fuck?

You were more angry about it than you had right to be. Jake was out doing his alone-time things in the woods when you bumped into him, kicking twigs and punching trees.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," you grumbled. Jake didn't believe you, and you were terrible at hiding things. You sighed. "I hate killers! I hate them! What the fuck!"

Jake's usually impassive face betrayed the hint of a smile. "I know."

"Why are they such heartless pains in the ass?"

"They're built that way."

"Were they not people, once upon a time?"

"Hardly." Jake shrugged. He tried to end the conversation there, but you kept following him around and eventually he was forced to sit when you clung to his sleeve. "They have inhuman backstories. So I've heard."

"And what's The Oni's?"

Jake snorted. "He's bothering you?"

"Is it that unbelievable?"

"He's not worth a backstory," Jake said. "Trust me. He's purely in it for the kill."

Somehow, that made you angrier.

You clung to Jake's sleeve harder when he tried to stand, and he looked at you, slightly irritated.

"Can I go now?"

"No," you said flatly.

"What do you want?"

You stopped. He sighed.

You let go of his sleeve and sat there, fighting tears. They fell anyway.

~

Kazan didn't understand you.

You didn't understand Kazan.

You kept unintentionally respecting him, and he kept killing you. he didn't really know how to react, actually. You were too...

Too-

Too kind.

He caught himself stalking you outside of trials. He covered it up by banging on the boundary that separated the killers from the victims and acting like he was trying to come after you. At first you were scared. He regretted scaring you.

Kazan did it again and again anyway. It had been a while since he'd felt anything. The more trials he had with you, the more things he was left to grapple with. He hated it.

He yearned for it.

So he kept seeking you out.

You were kind. A bit stupid--- how could you not see how the other survivors abused your purpose and skillset? Or did you know? Why did you let it happen if you knew?

You seemed to like the other survivors, though. He couldn't understand why.

He quickly learned that you were sentimental. Ah. That made sense. No wonder you bothered with things such as cultural customs.

Sentimental was not good. It meant emotional.

To be emotional in a place like this was to kill yourself over and over, and everyone knew it. It had established the natural order of kill or be killed. Survive or die. And yet you were there, uprooting it.

No wonder everyone borderline disliked you. You showed too much interest in doing more, being more. Connecting.

How long had it been since he'd connected?

He supposed he had Rin. His descendant. But that was a bit different, wasn't it?

"What the fuck is your problem?" You'd yelled out once. You'd startled him by coming right up to the boundary and screaming in his face--- he'd stopped trying to break it just to let you speak. "What the fuck do you want? Why do you want to kill me so bad? Are you okay? Are you good?" You paused to take a breath. You were panting, hot in the cheeks, sweat beginning to bead in your hairline. "Are you fucking okay?"

He should have been angry. Who gave you the right to talk to him in such a way?

Who?

Who gave you a right to make him feel like this?

Feel anything?

And who the fuck gave you the right to make him feel bad of all things when he caught you crying?

He wouldn't have seen them if you hadn't turned your head that slightest angle, the sun hitting the thing glaze of your tears. They were shining.

You seemed to realise you were about to fall apart the same time he did and retreated. Why were you embarrassed?

Why was he contradicting himself?

Kazan watched you run away into the woods. He growled when he saw that black haired one who often pretended to ignore you sigh to himself and then run after you.

He shouldn't have stalked the both of you as far as the barrier allowed him to. Shouldn't have hid when he heard you sobbing out loud, shouldn't have stayed hidden when that stupid survivor took you into his arms--- pretending to hate it--- and let you cry there as he battled with his red cheeks.

The next time he had a trial with Jake Park, he brutalised him again and again.

Jake didn't know why, of course. And would The Oni ever tell him?

No.

Because how would he even begin to explain what he was feeling when he didn't even know himself?

~

You'd had enough.

The Oni had made you his obsession over and over, saving you for last. It had made his kills twice as brutal and twice as painful because know you were always ready for them.

And recently he'd been coming on to you with a vengeance, like you'd done something wrong.

You were going to sort this out for once and for all. Somewhere along the way it had become incredibly personal and this undiscovered connection and had become intimate, even if it was mostly comprised of him killing you for more than just that, killing you. Somehow that alone made it all the more emotional, all the more addictive.

You couldn't run away; there was nowhere to go.

So the next time you had a chance, you went to his realm on your own. You hunted him down and yelled in his face--- he hadn't expected you, clearly.

He had been meditating in his temple and suddenly you had come flying out of nowhere.

"Why are you doing this?" You shouted. "Why do you keep doing this? I don't get it. What have I done to hurt you so personally?"

The Oni scrambled--- ungracefully-- to his feet and stood up.

"Are you seriously going to kill me again?" you wailed. "Outside of a trial of all things? I just came to talk! Because you're a bully! A mean fucking bully!"

The Oni hesitated, his hand uncurling from his katana.

"I hate you!" You yelled.

He said nothing. Of course he did.

Now you just felt embarrassed.

"I hope I never get put in a trial with you ever again!"

That prompted the Oni to take a step closer to you. You were already walking away, though, and was surprised to find the Oni close behind, trailing at a modest distance away. You walked faster. So did he.

You walked slower.

So did he.

"Go away," you mumbled, shoving your feet back into your shoes. "You make me so mad. I don't know what I've done to piss you ff this much, but I hope it's worth it!"

The Oni kept following you.

It was quickly becoming aggravating. You stopped and turned around, probably to yell at him, but seeing him just standing there made you too mad for words and you turned back around to walk. You stomped your foot and screamed at the sky.

You hated this.

It made no sense.

You jumped at the feeling of a hand curling around yours. It was big and meaty and riddled with scars and veins. It was a human hand. The Oni's hand.

And he was touching you gently, like you could break at any moment.

Like he was sorry.

But Kazan would never say it.

"...Stay," he said.

You gawked. You hadn't even realised he could talk. You'd been sure his only language was punching and letting out battle cries. Still, over the revelation, you glared at him. "Are you crazy? What if you kill me?"

"I won't."

He held your hand slightly tighter. Was that a threat?

You pulled away your hand to test it; he didn't try squeeze it harder.

Not a threat.

"Um..."

Oh.

What did you do now?

You hadn't expected this.

"Stay," he said again.

"Why?"

"For tea."

You felt like laughing. Was he serious? Was he actually genuine? For tea? He wanted you to stay for tea? Huh? What? Why-

"Yes," you said. "Okay."

You were staying for tea.

~

The Oni was... Not what you expected. He didn't say much, but when he did, it was choked and gruff like he wasn't used to talking. And maybe he wasn't.

You were skeptical the whole time, but not once did he move to hurt you. He didn't even poison the tea that he made--- hand ground and the water boiled over a fire. He showed you his every move with distinct slowness like he knew you were watching.

"Does it ever get lonely here?" You found yourself blurting. "All alone. I mean, I heard you're related to Rin. Is that true?"

All you got was a nod. You weren't sure whether that was to the first or the second question, but you ran with it.

"Do you often make tea?"

He shook his head.

"Am I annoying you?"

The Oni looked at you again--- this time sharply, and you tensed and held your breath. You weren't expect the flash of deadpan attitude in his eyes when he sighed and turned away.

"So... I'm not?"

"Drink your tea," he said.

You did.

~

You should have never come back.

But the tea...

The tea was good.

Yeah, the tea.

~

So... Kazan may like you more than he thought.

It wasn't intentional; it had just happened. You kept coming for tea, he kept listening to you babble, and he started to crave your company the second you left. You had managed to fill a gap in his chest that he hadn't even realised had been vacant to begin with.

You were just so beautiful.

It had caught him by surprise. One day you came to his realm, took off your shoes and waited for him to pour you a cup of tea and it had struck him that you were the most stunning thing to exist in all his millennia of living, and could spend a millenia more of just admiring you if you allowed. But you never did.

You always thought something was wrong when he stared at you for too long. Always took it as your cue to leave.

Kazan regretted killing you over and over again.

Maybe if he didn't, you'd be more willing to trust him again.

"Yamaoka Kazan," he said one afternoon. It had slipped out. You were in the middle of talking and then he'd just said it.

"Pardon?"

"My name."

"Oh, well if I'm right, you introduced yourself with your last name first. Out of respect, should I call you Mr Yamaoka?"

That alone sent a shudder down his spine. Kazan barely managed to hide it. The only thing stopping him was his need for you to say it again, say it more intimately. Say it like you meant it. And not his last name.

"No," he said.

You were past that. You deserved more. Deserved everything.

But selfishly, he wanted something from you first.

Hesitantly, you tried his name in your mouth. "... Kazan?"

Kazan.

Kazan.

Kazan.

Suddenly he was just a man, not a killer. A man who had lived and breathed and felt things, and now he felt them for you.

"Well, if we're on that level, my name is Y/n."

"Y/n."

You looked away from him, and he smirked beneath his mask.

It seemed he affected you just as much.

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I swear to the universe the only thing i could think of with 'you were staying for tea' was that meme from mulan like 'would you like to stay for dinner' and then the grandma yelling out 'would you like to stay forever' but it's rin

I wanna write a pt. 2 for this but would you be interested in that?

As always, please reblog!

[nevertheless-moving]

Stormlight Archive AU Number 9, Words of Radiance

In an attempt to ruin the reputation of the only kholin with decent social standing, illai sadeas manufactures a rumor that adolin is fucking the new dark eyed slave captain of the guard.

Double social whammy for a) getting with someone filthy and beneath his station and b) dishonorably taking advantage of poor slave boy

At this point adolin and kaladin straight up don't like each other but the sideye can be read many ways and any attempts to discourage rumors only make them stronger. Brightlady Sadeas got 20 ex girlfriends swearing that adolin has a fetish for dark eyed men. She's got 40 different people prepared to take a vow that they walked in on the two together. The evidence is so compelling that adolin is starting to be convinced.

By the time the first assassin in white fight rolls around adolin's pretty much given up on denial and started trying to get bridgeboy to at least dress better. Bridgeboy is still fighting the accusations and wardrobe with the dignity and demeanor of a feral axecat.

Shallan rolls in, still very much desperate to make the causal happen. Ok. She can work with this.

Starts laying down hints like she can't entirely fault his taste, she just prefers her woman less grumpy. Oh, did I say women? Talks very dreamily about working under - working with Jasnah, how beautiful she was in the bath - (this is a shockingly easy lie. Pattern complains there's too much truth mixed in, whatever that means).

Adolin is somewhat left with the impression that Jasnah and her had a... dalliance, which wasn't quite Shallan's intent.

Adolin does not know what to do with this information.

He makes one solid, nearly successful effort to convince her that the rumors were manufactured, bridgeboy and him don't even like one another. Then the whitespine uncaged fight happens and people are like damn.

Kaladin out there discrediting anyone who thinks there's some unwillingness on his end while simultaneously raising the bar for boyfriends everywhere. You wish you had a man who would fight four SHARDBARERS unarmed for you.

Opinion around camp flips from 'nasty affair' to 'glorious warbond.' Sure it's with a jumped up darkeyes, but...

Alethi storming love a glorious warbond.

General opinion on the amaram boon thing was that it was a bungled attempt to get another set of shards

Adolin's Prison Solidarity is really the nail in the coffin. He figures he'll try and convince Shallan after they're married and he is decidedly still not sleeping with bridgeboy. Assuming that doesn't happen. Not that he wants it to! Though if Kaladin were interested, haha jk. Unless...

Adolin: He was really hot during the duel. And well, he has to at least like me, right? Why would he jump in the arena if he didn't like me even a little.

Renarin: It's all going to end...

Adolin: you know what, you're right! Life is too short for regrets! And shallan's practically given us her blessing! I should at the very least try, right?

Renarin: a storm is coming

Adolin: thanks Renarin, I'll talk with him after this expedition. There really is...something about him.

Then the expedition! It Does not go well! Adolin genuinely thinking he's cursed, watched two whole love interests plummet to their deaths. Next several days are Not Good.

Meanwhile in the chasms:

Shallan: I mean his pectorals are...I suppose you've seen them closer up than I have. Do you think you could describe them in better detail? Does his sweat taste different when it runs down his back as opposed to his chest?

Kaladin: this. This is hell, right? I'm in hell.

Stormlight AU Masterlist

[simpingcowboy]

Pedro boys and why I'm swiping left on their tinders

This is all to be silly!! I love them all very much <3

Frankie Morales

His name there says Frankie (Catfish)....with his main profile picture being him holding you guessed it...a catfish. He doesn't have many other photos on there, with the exception of a few older military photos that are so blurry you can hardly tell which one he's meant to be.

The rest of his page is pretty empty aside from the music section, where you actually get the first real glimpse at what this man is about. While his music selection is very respectable, it does not overshadow the glaring issues with his profile.

In short, Frankie's profile makes you think "Am I dating the man? The fish? Or a catfish?" Swiping left fs.

Marcus Moreno

This one isn't his fault! His profile is perfect. No really. All the women at The Heroics made sure to help him with it! His photos are cute and show off all his best assets. The bio is a little cheesy in an endearing "yeah he's definitely a dad" way. The problem then? It's Marcus fucking Moreno!!! Leader of the Heroics!!!!!! On Tinder???? There's no way anyone is going to believe it's really him. I believe there's a verification option on Tinder now, but really...even then Idk. Unless he fully comes out on an interview or something to super casually mention he's on Tinder, it just ain't working. No one likes a catfish! (Sorry Frankie!)

Jack Daniels

Mr. "Tinder What?" himself!!!! Let's say he manages to figure out how to set up a profile and all that. It's gonna be inTERESTING to say the least. His photos are actually pretty solid. An intriguing mix of photos of him on the ranch and photos of him in the Statesmen HQ looking very well put together. Opening line is definitely "Save a Horse! Ride a Cowboy! 🤠♥️" Very on brand for him. Followed by something very pro-american about the flag or serving his country and honestly... that's where I'm gone 😅. We get to see a bit of Jack's political mind in Kingsman and let's just say i don't wanna know the rest of it.

I'm grateful this is Tinder and not Bumble. Because if Jack used the audio prompt and I heard that smooth Kentucky accent...forget EVERYTHING I just said. I would be taking a chance on him. Sorry 😔 I can't fix him, but I will have fun trying!!

Joel Miller

For namesake, we're gonna set this pre-outbreak. There's no time for swiping in the apocalypse. Profile isn't bad just very empty. He's not really trying and it's kinda obvious. His bio reads something along the lines of "Single dad of a spoiled teen" with mostly photos of himself and Sarah on his profile. A few photos of him and Tommy out camping or on a work site.

And as handsome as he is, the profile feels like something his kid forced him to make as a way of getting him off her back. I wanna sympathize and help her out, but I don't know I have the heart to attempt to win over this very clearly emotionally unavailable DILF. So for that reason, I'm swiping left.

Pero Tovar

If for some ungodly reason Pero was given Internet access and had a dating profile... it'd be a disaster. His bio reads something along the lines of "I don't open this app. If you wish to see me meet me at this pub" with approximate days and times he's there.

The first picture on his profile is a way too far away blurry shot of him training. If I was feeling brave enough to continue scrolling through his photos...the rest would certainly be borderline explicit highly suggestive photos of his torso and groin. And whilst I might think about it for approximately .25 seconds any remaining sense of dignity would kick in before I actually did anything about it. It'll sting momentarily, but I will be swiping left.

Ezra

Another man on this list who should absolutely NOT be given internet access. His photos are beautiful but uninformative...the only shots of him are blurred and artistically obscure. He pads the rest of his profile with photos of books he's reading and grainy shoots of the forest.

The bio...if there's a word limit best believe that Ezra has hit it. He used every given character at his disposal and managed to say very little with all of it. Something about a wandering spirit longing for companionship and a couple sexual innuendos for good measure.

While visually and verbally not the worst profile on this list, his pretension is so utterly palpable through the screen I actually don't think I'd be able to make it through the end of his bio without cringing...also his music selection is all just banjo instrumental???

[canaidliafail]

what she brings out of me

sadie adler x f!reader

4.5 k words MDI

old piece that isn’t proof read but I wanted to post it. Sort of canon compliant for 1/7 of the story so read at your own risk + bad english ahead. enjoy

hunting with Hosea was a chore more often than not but the man raised you to be the hunter that you are now and you were willing to tolerate the withered old man. He had his fun but he couldn’t do the miles he did before and his aim left much to be desired. But he kept you company and gave you maps for all the legendary animals he wanted to see and you, to catch.

That winter while you sought out shelter and a temporary camp while leaving blackwater,he was more prickly than usual.He insisted you stay in and help Pearston skin and cook the animals and man were you a shitty cook.

Pearston decided he would let you sneak out to hunt being the greedy drunk fool that he was so long as you brought something other than vegetables for the crew to eat.

You had barely managed to mount your horse when Arthur came back with Dutch and the rest with a new guest. a woman, frightened like a rabbit, shaking from the cold and the grief judging from her tear stained cheeks

the crowd came in with questions and she shrunk in herself stepping behind Dutch. You hitched your horse back and half ran your way to them

“This is Ms. Adler. Abigail help her out, she's had a rough night” he said and Abigail approached the woman who seemed reluctant to move from her spot as everyone discussed what took place. fed up with the situation you pushed the others away clearing a path for her and stopped beside Abigail

“Christ people give her some air can't you see she’s frightened?” You commanded and they lowered their heads, hats covering their eyes.

The three of you made your way back into the cabin and left it up to Abigail to talk to the woman.

Men widowed her that night and took everything else with them, money,silver, dignity….

the night was grim and you could hear her weep quietly, mourning her lost husband till daylight hit and she passed out from exhaustion. You woke up first and made coffee and left one by her bunk bed with a note

You probably won’t have much appetite but try to consume some liquids at least

Throughout your whole stay there you never conversed any further than a tip of the hat when you entered the cabin at night and a soft sigh when you replaced her untouched plate and cup in the morning.

You felt for her despite not knowing what it meant to lose a husband. You didn’t know what it meant to even have a husband in the first place

But your heart still ached to see such a lovely woman stripped of all joy and light

•••

“a 1000 pound bear and you thought we could take her out with our piss poor rifles?!” You asked bewildered and glanced at Arthur who had much more patience than you that day, which said a lot. Hosea passed him the map with a hand over his heart still scared and in shock how quickly he came face to face with death

“Ill head back…You two gonna chase after that thing are are you coming with?”

“coming with. Arthur its all yours” You said and mounted your house and he did the same

“Had enough entertainment for now. Let’s head back” He agreed and you all three started the two day journey back talking about everything and how everyone was settling in

“By the way, Karen has been asking for you again”

“hm?” you looked up at Arthur. Of course she was. you leave for a few days and she is looking for you again to let out some steam. You stay at camp and she won’t bat an eye your way. You took little offense however simply enjoying that you had someone to have your fun with when no one was looking

“Ill go by her tent later…” you mumbled

“Speaking of can you keep some company to Ms. Adler as well? You two have a spunky spirit and might lift her up a bit”

Sadie Adler had continued her daily routine of wandering off to the far end of the camp sitting on the rocks and crying. You caught her talking to Abigail more than anyone else and despite wanting to get close to the woman you had no idea how to approach her

“Ill…see what I can do”

you agreed and continued silently too tired to indulge in small talk

you arrived at the hideout the next evening. Arthur took off shortly to go back to blackwater for a lead on some members that stayed behind

You bathed in the dreadfully cold river and made it back to your tent combing your hair into two braids, putting on a clean pair of jeans with a shirt to go out and see if there was any coffee or herbs to make tea.

Your caught Sadie with the corner of your eye sitting by the rocks looking off into the distance and decided to give it your best shot. At this point you were the only woman who had not talked to her and it felt rude

you grabbed two chapped mugs and poured whatever hot liquid was available and made your way to her

“Evening Ms. Adler” she looked up at you

“Good evening”

“Mind if I keep you some company?” you said pushing the warm cup in her direction which she took without protest and schooched to the side giving you space. You sat next to her and looked at the dim light from the sparse fire pits enjoying the cracking of wood and soft unison of voices talking in the background

“Listen Im sure everyone had asked how you are doing so I won’t try to remind you of that but, I hope you are finding your stay with us of some comfort”

you said and dared a fearful look at her admiring her untamed blonde hair and freckled nose. A second longer and you may have found yourself in love with a widow so you turned your sights back on the coals and fire in the distance

“As much as I'd rather be left alone, its nice to have some company” she confessed and you nod, waiting to see if she had anything else to say. With a shaky voice she continued

“I just wish my Jacky was here with me. He was a good man you know, better than anyone out there”

your lips thinned almost feeling her anger. Karen passed in front of you in the distance quirking a brow indicating she would be waiting for you tonight

“I just wish it was me in his place. I feel so lost”

you brought your attention back to her and slowly pressed a hand against her back gently moving it in circles. she leaned into your touch and you felt her breath stutter

“I wish I could take my own life…but i’m not brave enough to do even that” you matched your breathing with her own pulling her closer silently trying to calm her down the minute you felt her shoulders shake

“To be brave is to keep on going. To keep on living” you quietly offered your thoughts and she shook her head tears falling again

“I don’t know…”

you kept caressing her back

“Keep on living Adler. Show those fuckers what you’re made of”

You said boldly and she turned to look at you surprised. she seemed to consider your words and then your face. maybe both. You knew you weren’t good at this but you were satisfied to see the tears stop and her features soften

You smiled and hesitantly tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear and then stood up

“We are here for you. Take your time to grieve the man. He is worth it” she nod and took in a deep breath looking into the distance, taking a sip from her tea “Thank you for listening” your shrugged “least I can do for a pretty lady. Should you ever seek company my tent is open” you said and saw a soft smile graced her lips for the first time before she turned away. Remorse hit you quick and hard realizing you accidentally just made a pass at her and felt shame drown you.

with a tip of your hat you excused yourself.

You feared you had messed up, spoke too soon and maybe with too much ignorance. You prayed she’d brush your words off. Its not like anyone even considered that a woman could flirt with a woman.

You sought out Karen and her willing touch that night. You forgot yourself in the pleasure of her spread legs and let her soft gasps fill your mind.

However the next day you were surprised to see Sadie with her hair braided and her shirt tucked in neatly with a lovely brown straw hat shielding her face from the sun. she went to pour coffee and caught you staring and for the first time greeted you first with a smile

•••

Days turned into weeks and Sadies curt greetings turned to small talk that turned into long conversation and eventually she took interest in your role with the gang asking of your trips

“a huntress?”

you felt pride in your chest. sure women weren’t expected to do much but you loved that you challenged that standard from a young age

“I feel I am of more use with a bow in the wild than with pins and needles”

“What's up with you managing to have every woman all over you?” Arthur asked one day and you laughed pushing him away with a soft punch on his arm

“Its my talent”

“and here I thought that laid in hunting animals. ‘s that why we’ve been starving lately?”

he asked meaning no harm and you saw his crooked grin and the softness in his eyes, crinkling with wrinkles

“shut up arthur. Don't you have a train to rob or something?”

“my bad, I won’t take any more of your precious time with Ms. Adler”

You also quickly found out Sadie had a sharp tongue and a short temper. Her strength and quip was overshadowed by her grief before but slowly it raised to the surface and more people took interest in her. She grew more familiar with Arthur and her long skirts were slowly replaced by the occasional tight black jeans that accentuated her assets even better

Some nights she was still haunted by nightmares and you took it upon yourself to invite her to your tent. You talked for a while and when she tried to excuse herself you stopped her and patted the side of your bunk bed

“You can sleep here for tonight”

“and you?” you laughed “Ill also sleep here. Never had a sleepover with a friend before?”

“Not like that you prick” she said and laid next to you. Her eyes widened, noticing she was a little too close than she calculated. you held her by the waist guiding her “turn around for me” you whispered and she obliged. You pressed your chest against her back and held her like that and felt her tense shoulders slowly relax only to stiffen again when you spoke again close to her

“Goodnight Sadie”

“goodnight”

It only happened once but after that night You often caught yourself admiring her, those warm brown eyes, the raspy voice that gave you goosebumps and when no one paid you attention you shamelessly eyed her figure.

“You are no better than a man,huntress” Karen teased and leaned next to you against the tree. You chuckled and glanced at her “jealous?”

“you wish” she said. It didn’t go past you that she wore a dress that exposed her chest nicely yet it did little to arouse you and in horror you realized your mind drifted over to Sadie and how nicely she tucked in her shirt leaving no more than two buttons open barely exposing her collar bones

“The boys are going out for some job” she said leaving the invitation and you smirked looking down at her

“Hm…Maybe Ill join them”

“or..” she said and carefully flattened her palms against your chest pretending to fix your bandana for you “you can join me instead” she looked up at you with doe eyes and your lip twitched in a smile. She left swaying her hips and you let your gaze linger for a second before looking up. Sadie stood there with an unspoken question in her eyes and then cocked a brow in challenge.

you took two cigarettes out of your pocket and she approached you accepting your offer. she placed the stick in her lips and you motioned her to come closer.

her head tilted in confusion and you carefully pulled her in by the back of your head till the ends of your cigarettes touched and lit them both in one go

you tucked the lighter back in your pants and she took in a long puff in thought “You seem closer to Karen than the rest. Does your friendship go back in time?”

you laughed at the innocent and awfully unsuspecting question and decided to test the waters

“Friends ? Hardly, we are close though. In different ways” she seemed even more puzzled “Everytime you answer my questions I end up more lost and confused than I was before”

“Maybe I'm just that bad at conversing with others” she chuckled, a low raspy giggle almost “You give yourself too little credit. Had it not been for those coffees you left and your company Id probably still be on that rock crying” you smiled

“Glad I could help” you continued to smoke in silence and you inspected her clothes your eyes falling on the yellow brooch tied around her neck

“That's a nice brooch” she looked down and smiled “thanks. One of the few good things I own”

“Oh don't say that. You have a lovely sense of fashion darling” you held the ornament in your fingers leaning closer feeling her breath fan your cheeks. Something shifted and it wasn't even anymore. you looked up and saw her completely focused on your every movement catching her eyes that were stuck on your lips. Flattered, a cocky smile escaped you.

There was a tense moment that snapped from Peaston calling out to everyone informing them that dinner and drinks were ready.

You both pulled away from each other abruptly and pushed yourself off the tree patting your pants and dusting them off

“Will you join us?” you asked and she shrugged “Was about time I did”

•••

You were drunk. Way too fucking drunk.

“shit how many…” you tried to look around and count how many glasses of whiskey you had. everything was spinning and buzzing. Karen and Mary-beth were singing and you clumsily joined. Sadie sat next to you cracking a joke here and there but still was mostly quiet listening to all of you and sometimes laughing. Karen laid her head on your shoulder and her hand fell on your thigh beneath the table going upwards and staying there fondling your thigh. Too drunk to care if Sadie was looking, you indulged her sensual move and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

unbeknownst to you Sadie withdrew from you slightly and confused looked at the pair of you her frown growing deeper as Karens hand traveled higher eventually tugging at the metal belt clasp

amidst the chaos- which you were uncertain if there was any due to your drunken state- you remembered getting up and escaping to the quieter place of the camp, then your hands were on Karens hips and her lips on your neck biting and sucking and everything else was a blur

had you been slightly more sober you would have noticed that you weren’t completely hidden. Because Sadie was interested in you in ways she couldn’t explain and she was out looking for you that night. And she unfortunately caught a glimpse of your nasty sexual endeavors with the other woman who you had so willingly pinned against the tree and who elicited the most pornographic sounds

•••

Sadie caught herself interested in you. She liked the fact that you were a huntress and she liked more that you took little pity on her state and gave her solid motivation to get back on track with her life. She realized she chased your polite compliments when she wore a new accessory or when she braided her hair.

but to feel like this towards a woman? how?

she questioned and doubted it immediately believing it was the grief that made her lose her mind. That was until she saw you devouring karen in the deep of the forest. Something woke within her. fiery jealousy and heat bloomed in her chest and her core ached.

She-at first- was convinced she was repulsed by the act, finding it vulgar. than she thought that she was simply taken aback by it but not in an unpleasant way. eventually she decided to sleep frustrated and confused, unable to understand what she felt.

two days later she sought out Karen who seemed very eager to tease and taunt her

“What a voyeuristic eye that you have Adler”

“Are the two of you in a relationship?”

she laughed, loud enough to almost make her feel humiliated and stupid as if the answer was obvious

“Gods no! I mean I know she only likes women but I don’t care for things like that”

“only women?”

“If you ever find yourself with too much frustration pay her a visit. In my opinion every woman should feel her tongue” Sadies eyes widened and then she shook her head in disappointment

“Ill find other ways to keep myself busy” she barked growing angry with Karens games

“Suit yourself. I'm just saying that I trained her well” and with that she left. Sadie was angry. Jealous.She saw Karen marking her territory and she didn’t like that

why does she try to claim something that isnt hers

She avoided you on purpose for the upcoming days and she hated seeing your confusion and visible pain to her dismissive attitude

You once tried to approach her more boldly and in her spitefulness she spat

“what's up with you? Nothing to do?”

You huffed out a frustrated breath and crossed your arms standing in front of her.

“Ive thought about it a lot and it all boils down to you probably finding out I swing the other way”

“I did find out”

you nodded in repeat looking away and she saw your jaw tense and your brows lower “well Fuck me then” you hissed exasperated

“Id like to be alone” she said with a low growl and you scoffed “Really Sadie? Am I that disgusting to you now that you won’t even say goodmorning to me?” you raised your tone and she stood up “Don't you use that tone on me”

“or what?!” she stared at you long and hard. You were the first to break contact and took a step back, arms swinging softly

“You know what Sadie? You wanna be alone ? then be fucking alone” she watched as you turned your back on her and left immediately regretting how sbe handled that conversation.

She didn’t see you for a week after that. That week she herself was busy with her first bounty hunt and she could hardly be happy about it. Her stomach felt like she’d swallowed stones and her throat was dry.

and when you came back it was with Arhur, Hosea and another woman. Someone you rescued on your recent bounty hunt who was as lost as she once was. You attention was on the hurt woman keeping her company making sure she felt secure with your group of people

“Listen we ain’t good but we ain’t them either” you consoled an arm around her shoulders soothing her and Sadie had enough of it. She approached you with heavy steps the heel of her boots digging into the dirt

“I wanna talk to you”

you looked up and the girl in your arms seemed intimidated by her. Sadie disliked that she seemed threatening to an innocent person but her focus was on you and you alone

you silently questioned her, eyes wide, jaw tense as if saying really?! now?!

she stood her ground until you gave in and followed her back to your tent where you could have some privacy

“You wanted to talk? speak”

“Why do you have to be like that?” she asked annoyed and you shook your head defeated “Like what hon? I am around you and you are repulsed, I give you space and you are equally unsatisfied. The hell do you want from me, woman?!”

“I just needed time! Time!” she emphasized the words and you sat down knowing your knees were too weak to handle this unprovoked attitude

“time? for what?” You tried peacefully and truly exhausted knowing someone had to be tame or this conversation wouldn’t go far without resulting in you pulling a gun to each others head

“Christ I- I just was confused. I didn’t know a woman could look at a woman like that”

“And why does it concern you?” you asked and she seemed taken aback. Why indeed

Because I considered you that way too

she came to the conclusion her tongue numb and heavy, unable to speak these words out loud.

She hated how quickly you caught on and in a delightfully predatory way she watched you stand up and approach her, circling her like a vulture

“Sadie did you hate that I look at women like that or did you hate that you weren’t one of those women?”

the hair on the back of her neck rose and heat pooled in her stomach again. A feeling she thought had surely died with her late husband yet here it was.

“I wasn't?” she asked, her confidence faltering. She was sure she caught you staring at her chest, her lips, her hips at first not questioning the wandering gaze until she put the puzzle pieces together to figure out the reason behind it

your hands were on her shoulders running up and down the length of her arms slowly

“Would you like to be?” she turned around and as if in a dance sequence your hands fell on her neck to pull her in for a hungry kiss

She could feel how starved you were in the way your lips pressed against hers tasting her, imprinting the feel of her skin against hers. She returned the notion with equal fervor if not with more and was reluctant to be the one to submit. her hands landed on your hips pulling you in and she was shocked to find how right this position felt. how velvety your tongue felt against her own and how your skin molded into her palms becoming one.

she pulled away to take in a few deep and heavy breaths looking at you and was pleased to find you putty in her arms, to see the mighty huntress small, fragile and ready to do anything she would ask you to

“Do I awaken something in you Sadie?” You asked and held her closer, your arms wrapped around her neck and she responded by kissing you again loving the power and control she had. The passion melted into something more gentle, affectionate and tender and when you pulled away the second time she held your cheek in her hand caressing the flushed skin

“ that answer good enough for you?” she asked with a lazy smirk and you huffed out a laugh still gasping for air “Never thought you packed such heat” you confessed and her ego grew dangerously “You haven’t experienced the half of it”

•••

Unlike you, who was secretive and shameful of your nature the minute Sadie felt sure in herself she didn’t hesitate to greet you with a good morning kiss letting everyone think about what they just witnessed. As outlaws you certainly had bigger problems than two girls deciding to kiss each other and you came to the stupidly obvious realisation. Hosea and Arthur were the first ones to tell you

well we knew men didn’t do it for you, but I didn’t exactly know what did so…I just do now thats all it is

and you felt good about his awkward and reassuring words. Sadie didn’t care on the other hand. if she spent the night in your tent she didn’t hide it and if she felt like making a move on you while at the saloon she would and dealt with the consequences violently and eagerly still needing to vent out her pain and frustrations.

“are you not…scared?” you asked her once at night when you both laid together, naked beneath a thin sheet and she smiled giving you small kisses on your cheeks, jaw, neck

“I am scared of other things darling. Death is one of them. Random drunk men ain’t on the other hand are not”

“You aren’t indestructible Sadie. I worry for you” you confessed and she smiled “Nobody’s taking nothing from me ever again” she said and kissed you “And nobody’s taking me away from you either”

[shelbswastaken]

Hey uhh I wrote a thing (tw for suicide, graphic descriptions of injuries and hospitals)

If you can't/don't want to use ao3 you can read it below the cut

I am in hospital.

It's better than the med bay.

But only barely, to me.

This pain runs too deep for anything they do to matter.

It has been 4 months and 20 years since the crash.

I can still feel the phantoms of the flames licking at my dessicated flesh.

I should never have trusted him.

I should never have joined them.

I should never have done that.

I should never have left her.

I should never have lived.

I lay on my bed. Through my charred ears and soot-infested eye, I can vaguely make out familiar figures.

My mother, my brothers.

They are older now, having lived half a life without me.

The sight of me cripples them by proxy.

My mother clutches her baggy sleeve to her chest and chokes out a sob.

She tries to throw herself on my withered form, to have one last chance to caress her baby boy, but the nurse pulls her back.

We can't risk an infection, he says. My mother wilts in his arms, a broken woman.

Asshole.

Let me die.

If being with my mother is all it takes to kill me now, then let me have that sweet release.

After an eternity spent as a medium for hate, the least you could do is let me die feeling loved.

I wish I could say sorry.

I wish I could make things right.

I wish I had done something.

But I didn't.

He destroyed her.

He killed him.

He broke me.

He ruined everything.

And it's all my fault.

He won. He beat me.

He got the privilege of dying with dignity.

It came at the cost of all of ours.

All because he didn't want to take responsibility,

And I never forced him to.

It is a quiet night. My nurse lies asleep in his chair.

The late news is blaring loud on the television screen. I don't hear a word.

For the first night in 21 years, I feel at peace.

I have decided that tonight is the night I will die.

I will every fried, contracted muscle left to move me into a sitting position.

It's the most strength I've used in decades.

I catch what remains of my breath, and turn my lone eye towards the moonlight.

It reminds me of her.

The one I failed.

The one who saved me.

The one who had every right to loathe me, and likely did.

The one who put that all aside for the sake of her work.

The one I watched choke to death on her own blood.

I see her at my bedside table, a bright light in my faded vision.

I hear her voice, cutting over all the ringing and mud like a siren.

This time, I will take every word to heart.

"I have to believe that our worst moments don't define us. They don't make us monsters. And make no mistake. This isn't your worst moment."

I shakily grab the open bottle of oxycodone.

I tip its contents into my agape mouth, the clear liquid dribbling down my chin.

Eventually, I set the empty bottle on my lap and lie down.

"It's the best decision you'll ever make."

I fall asleep, knowing I've atoned.

[hoeforhao]

↳ ༉‧₊˚✧ * in another life * ༉‧₊˚✧ 🤍

✦pairing : idol! jeonghan x fem! reader

✦genre : smut, phone sex, fingering, masturbation (both f and m), mutual cumming, angst, ex boyfriend au.

✦warnings : explicit language, jeonghan is an absolute bastard here(only the character, no hate towards our angel), manipulation, verbal degradation, heavy angst, unrequited love, one sided pining. tell me if i missed any!

✦word count : 1.3k

✦author's note : took me five shots of vodka to complete writing this as it's a real story, beautified by a writer's mind. not proofread as i didn't have the heart to re read it!

Was it really that easy, as people staged it to be? To be your ex's so called "close friend"? Someone he only came to while being completely lonely or peak horny -

These are the only thoughts that kept storming your mind, whilst your eyes were fixated onto that 'hey hey hey' from jeonghan's pvt account.

Did your brain exactly know what his single hey meant? Hell yes! Did your conscience immediately give in and try to stop you from replying to that? A cent percent yes! Yet your heart knew no bounds. What do they call it? Yes!! Everything's fair in love and war...even if it meant losing your dignity again and again...but come on at least you weren't hoeing around with several -

Quite a dumb way to justify what was gonna come next, right? Shaking all these warning signs off of your body, you respond with -

"Yes sir?"

"Are you home rn, y/n? You know it's night and something just takes over me whenever the sky paints itself dark!!" a short vibration of your phone and jeonghan's message pops up on the lockscreen.

"Yes. I'm home han." oh how you wishes to type hun, oh how you wished to reply affectionately to your lost home, ask him how his day was, is he eating well, remembering to take rest in between dance practices and most importantly caring for his soulful voice. But alas, you couldn't!! cuz you knew his lustful replies will only hurt you more, than you already are.

"You know what I want right, hun?" that one word from him and your heart felt like it was being poked with a thousand icicles.

"I do. Should I? Or you'll?"

"I'll baby. Pick up quick nah!!" this was the last string where all your organs tried their best to hold you back from diving into the fire again...but well...

×××××incoming video call××××××

knowing that picking up his call would mean dirtying yourself for the third time, yet sometimes love makes you do things even laws can't ~

"Moan for me baby, i wanna hear you scream my name while pleasuring yourself"

how even in the darkest corner of your heart, you still had the faintest flames of "what if he greets me like the old times, just once" burning brightly, only to be put to sleep by han's desperateness for your body, not the soul he painted once so beautifully.

"Do you have any special requests? Cuz I don't know what to say" what more where you even supposed to say huh? while you two were together, you would make sure that you went out of your comfort zone to pleasure him. Trained yourself so well in this field that your moans became honey to his ears ; but now, now you've no right over him, no right to call him explicit names. Thus the only way for you was to act just as he directed you to.

"Moan daddy for me bitch, if you wanna see me cum. Ain't that your favorite thing, pretty slut?"

As much as each of his syllables tore the skin of your insides one petal a time, all you could do was abide by his demands, with a heart of stone.

"H-han i wanna s-see you cum so bad, daddy pls" your lips burned aflame each time a word left its crevices.

"That's like my good slut. Now strip for me baby. I wanna see each and every part of your body" instead of his stern angelic voice, all you could hear was jeonghan panting into the speaker as he kept on stroking himself.

Not wasting anymore seconds, you seductively took off all your clothes, leaving you in nothing but all the scars that life has carved out on you.

"Happy now?" probably the most useless question you've ever asked, knowing quite well that it was gonna be a long night.

"You think so? Awee such a naive little bitch you're y/n!!! The fun has just started baby" his mocking smirk irking up on your skin even from another side of the screen.

"Finger yourself until you come undone on the sheets, while screaming my name. Wanna see you doing all the nastiest things tonight."

Muffling in all the cries that your heart has been wanting to blurt out all these time, you just quietly lay down on your back, the cold sheets beneath stippling a wave of shivers through your entire body.

Spreading your legs wide apart, ensuring to give jeonghan the perfect video of your pussy, you gradually slide down your fingers, rubbing gentle circles 'round your clit.

"The prettiest moans I've ever heard and and the prettiest pussy I'll ever see. Such a desperate whore for my dick, aren't you bitch!"

It's as if everything around you was muted all of a sudden and all you could hear was jeonghan praising how much he loved your womanhood, fueling your fingers to slide at a faster rate in and out of your hole.

"J-jeonghan am gonna c-cum...aaaa" even before you could finish your sentence, warm fluids coated your fingers, earning the lewdest groan from han.

"Naughty girls don't deserve the gift so soon. How many times have i told you not to call me -"

"S-sorry daddy! I was lost in pleasure that's why it slipped out of my mind" your hormones were now peaking , thus making you absolutely desperate to see him cum for you.

"Still you need to be punished babygirl. Hump on the pillow infront of you while pinching your nipples hard" han's cruel demeanor echoed through the room.

Not seeing any way out, you sat on your knees to do exactly what as asked of you. At this point you've become his own little porn star who would give him a show whenever his lust wanted.

"I guess my job's done now?" you finally open your eyes, boobs aching from the intense action it got and conscience all blurry.

"Yes baby. Such an obedient slut you're for me. I love to see you beg for me so much aah" jeonghan's moans kept getting loud as he was climbing his high.

"Y-y/n aah I love your pussy s-so much babe" and with this you saw the smooth white liquid ooze out of his pretty dick and onto his stomach. As much as your mind wanted to take in this heavenly sight with as much lust as possible, your heart kept drifting away to the thought of "only if he would move the camera to his face while I watch him sleep all peacefully, face painted with the most beautiful smile this world has ever witnessed...just like the old times".

"Well then I gotta go sleep ig. Bye"

Such a fool aren't you? Expecting the impossible always ; knowing very well that even the heavens can't bring your home back anymore. The shoulder you always leaned on, the first person to ever see you cry, your bub your sugar was now far gone. What was left was a bastard who just keeps on using you for his pleasure.

Well not that it was his fault tho. You've always been the hardest to love.

"Maybe in next life, when I'm as pretty as you're, I'll be lucky enough to hug you to sleep. Bye bub. Sleep well♡" you hushed under your breath before tapping the red button on the screen that brought you the opportunity to at least listen to his voice once in a while....

[thisiswasabis]

וTumblr Artists NoP-ifcitaion, behold ו

I wanted to add more, but I run out of the good ideas and my hands, once again, said "Nope, Vive La la révolution" and refused to cooperate

But anyway–-

Artists on this piece are:

@rusty-courage

@rabid-mercenary16

@endomentendo

@shandzii

And @ladybugkisses

Make sure to check out their blogs, they all have great art!

EDIT: ⚠️Warning⚠️ a lot (and I mean a lot) of reading ahead. If you don't want to, don't read it.

It's okay to skip it

___________________________

Now, to the

Notes on the designs:

Endo and Rabid

• For Endo and Rabid, as I don't know their nationality, I've gone for the mexican/spanish, inspired by this art by Endo

• In this AU/imagery, Rabid is a coulrophobia (fear of clowns) and Endo is hemophobia (fear of blood)

• In this AU Rabid has an ability to make people laugh no matter how un-funny the joke is. She can't really control it, but over the years she learned to make actually funny jokes and recognize when it's good depending on others reaction (ex. gentle smile - not so good, coughing on laughter - nailed it)

• Endo looks like a human, bc they supposed to be one, but with mouth like this, there's no way they're human, oooohhh no

• I gave Endo poncho to represent the "dress" (cloth???) Their sona wears (??? I don't know?. . . What this is?)

• I'm imaging their conversation (on this art) to be like:

Endo: So, you're a clown huh?

Rabid: Emm. . . Yeah, I guess I am (kind of)

Endo: Then you have to be very un-funny one

Rabid: Wha? Why?

Endo: Bc you gone gray out of your saddness

Rabid: ಠ⁠ ⁠೧⁠ ⁠ಠ ExUssmE, I can tell jokes, you little [very creative inslut here]

Endo: Mhm, the real question is - are they making others laugh or cry (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

*moment of silence*

Rabid, very angry: c'mere, I'll give you "un-funny clown"

*10 minutes later*

Rabid: *jokes like a pro in John Mulaney style*

Endo, trying hard not to laugh (rip their dignity and lungs): Rabid, no - that's so baAaaad

Ari

• For Ari I was going for the philophobia (fear of falling in love) and inspired by pics/paintings of the cupids and this art

• "But Wasabi, shouldn't she be a aliurophobia? (fear of cats)" No, she should not. Ari is famous for her lackadaisy art, that true, but, in fact, her blog is self-insert themed. She has a different form depending on her current fixation/crush. So with so much self-ships, it's logical for her to be a fear of love

• I have her this funny hair things (ears? Horns? What are those?) 'cause:

A) she would look identical to her angel sona otherwise

B) I like to think it represents the "evil"/fiery turn love can take

• In this AU, she needs to cover her eyes. She have a power to make anybody obsessed with her just by one glance into her eyes, but this is not something she can control. So she just covers them with a cloth or sunglasses to avoid the trouble

• I feel like she would have her own art gallery, where she shows (and sometimes sells) her paintings

Shandzii

• Secound non-phobia in this set (first is Rusty)

• I couldn't decide if she should be aquaphobia (fear of water) or muso/murophobia (fear of mice/rats) so I made them neither of them!

• But! He, in this AU, has a phobia parents (Aqua– and musophobia)

• "How could this happen? Is that even possible!?" Short answer: yes. Long answer Info dump answer:

In NoP, Phobias are actually some type of genetical anomaly. It's really rare but if at least one of the parents have a recessive gene for it, their kid can be a Phobia.

But that also not the case.

As I said, it's really rare to have a child like that, especially if only one parent have this gene. And, sadly, if a child had bron a Phobia, their parents can get abandoned. many Phobia kids are abandoned by their biological parents, as they don't want to rise a little "freak".

But, what is even less possible, when two phobias with human parents hook up, they can have a human kid instand of the Phobia one.

It's rare, but it can happen

• She dose not have any powers, but have a big weakness for water and sea/ocean. Also is really small and fast (in my NoP headcanon, not generally)

• I gave him a coat instand of a jacket, as I'm pretty sure there was no Red jackets in 1940s

• Also, a lot of pockets and pins, bc they reminds me of mice

Rusty

• Actually, I've already drew NoP!Rusty once. You can find her notes and design here

___________________________

I info dumped more than drew, sorry if it's a problem.

And, once again, check their blogs and art! They all are great!

And now, up to hole I go!

*slithery sounds of little gremlin*

[campingwiththecharmings]

tagged by @soft-girl-musings ❤️ ty, this was super fun! tagging whoever wants to do this (please tag me in your posts!!!!)

1. Type your name followed by core into pinterest and paste the first pic. 2. Refresh your pinterest homepage and paste the first person. 3. Refresh your pinterest homepage and paste a random aesthetic picture. 4. Write a little story :)

(Please be gentle, I have not actually seen Dune, tho I did read a little of the novel, and am basing this characterization on my very limited exposure to Leto lol)

Dune Modern AU (I guess??) - Leto Atreides x F!Reader | (1,840 words) | Not proofread

AN: i...might've gone a bit overboard with this lmaooo. i blame oscar. 🫣

Warnings: murder, allusions to SA, probably a tad stockholm syndrome-y (lol), vague smut, some angst.

---

You struggle against the crewman's tight hold on your wrists, knowing that even if you were to break free, you'd have no where to escape to. Your ship had been attacked and boarded that morning by pirates, after which you, along with a handful of others, had been left to die on your pillaged ship.

When a ship flying the flag of Caladan had happened upon you, you'd been relieved, over the moon, even. That is, until they'd boarded and killed everyone left alive save for you. You should've known something was off as soon as they stepped onto the deck, their uniforms filthy and unkempt. But you'd been so desperate, had wanted to believe so badly that you were being rescued.

You don't know where he's taking you now, but given the lecherous look he'd given you just before grabbing you, you can take a guess.

Hopefully he'll at least have the decency to kill you once he's finished.

You growl as the man pushes open the door at the end of the hall, dragging you swiftly behind him. He throws you into a chair and looms over you, caging you in with a hand on either armrest.

"Feisty, aren't we?" he says, his dark eyes cold and cruel. "I like the feisty ones."

You stare him down with a glare, determined to not let this man take the only thing you have left: your dignity. He smirks at you and leans in, but it halted by the sound of the door opening.

"I'll take it from here, Yueh."

You watch as the man's lip curls slightly, annoyed at being interrupted. Nevertheless, he stands, schooling his face into an indifferent mask and turning toward the newcomer.

"Of course, Captain."

The crewman leaves, closing the door behind him with a loud "thwack," leaving you alone with this new man, apparently the captain.

You study him, noting that his uniform is in far better condition than that of his subordinates. Even his knee-high boots have been polished to a shine. You drag your eyes up his torso, then his chest, your eyes snagging on the insignia pinned over his left breast pocket. It looks familiar, but you can't seem to immediately place it. You allow your eyes to continue their journey, sliding up his neck, over his graying beard and stately nose, until you meet his eyes.

They're a warm, deep brown with a gentleness in them you are not accustomed to seeing in men (especially those in authority). He smiles at you apologetically, knowing he is at least partially responsible for the terror you've endured.

"Are you alright?" he asks, his voice soft and gentle, just like his eyes.

Inexplicably, the facade you've erected to make yourself seem unaffected by all of this crumbles at his question. No, you are absolutely not alright. In less than a week you've been attacked by pirates, had all of your possessions either taken or destroyed, and have watched almost every person you care for die. Tears well in your eyes and you're helpless to stop them from falling.

Embarrassed, you hide your face in your hands, silently sobbing into your palms. You flinch when you feel a hand on your shoulder. Was he...comforting you? You look up, his eyes radiating sadness and, dare you say, compassion?

He hugs you then, gently pulling you against his chest and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He murmurs soothing words, promises to keep you safe, tells you you'll never have to live in fear again so long as he is with you. .

And you believe him, God help you.

He asks you to call him Leto despite clearly holding some kind of title. It feels odd to be so informal, but you do as he asks. He does not appear to have much trust in his crewmen, namely the group who'd boarded your ship. As a result of this, he is reluctant to let you out of his sight, so you spend most of your time with him. He does most of the talking, telling you of his beloved homeland Caladan, of his son Paul...of his late wife, Jessica. When you are ready, you do the same, telling him about where you grew up, of your parents, of your desire to see the world.

It's not until a few weeks later that you realize you're falling in love with him.

You do your best to hide it but he seems to sense the shift in you. The night before you are expected to return to Caladan, he finally asks what's troubling you. As when you'd met him that first day, his eyes are what get to you, the gentle kindness and patience in them like a balm to your soul.

"I...I think I'm in love with you," you admit, sure he doesn't feel the same.

But he surprises you yet again.

"I love you too, my darling," he rasps, leaning in to press his lips against yours.

He makes love to you until the sun rises, his movements gentle yet still passionate. His fingers tangle with yours when he pins you to the bed, making you come over and over, you body shaking with pleasure as he smothers your moans with his kiss.

He asks you to marry him in the afterglow, his head nestled between your breasts as you comb your fingers through his soft hair. You tell him you will and he looks up at you with a smile, sitting up so he can steal another kiss from your lips.

There is a commotion on deck as soon as the ship docks and it takes Leto a moment to realize it's not the usual flurry of activity that usually comes with a return to land. Sensing something nefarious, he tells you to escape through the window in his quarters. You don't want to leave him, flat out refuse to, in fact, but he convinces you yet again with his gentle, earnest eyes.

"I need to know you're safe," he says, taking your hands in his. "I'll find you, I promise."

You wait for him at an inn a few blocks from the docks but he never shows. You don't sleep, you can't, too worried about Leto and what might've happened to him. At the first sign of dawn, you leave the inn, returning to the docks in search of your Leto.

His ship is gone, the slip where it had been empty, and your heart sinks. Had it all been a trick? A game? A way to pass the time while at sea? Had he even really loved you or had he just told you that so you'd warm his bed?

You consider asking the harbormaster if they know what happened but...what would be the point? You know all you need to know: Leto is gone, has left you here alone, despite his promises to protect you, to love you, to marry you.

You do your best not to break down, to not give in to the crushing weight of your broken heart. Using the last of your coin, you decide to stay another night at the inn Leto had told you about, and in the morning, you convince them to hire you as a housekeeper in exchange for a bed and a meager salary. You work there for months, saving every penny you can for passage back to your homeland.

The night before you're set to leave, he finds you.

Leto.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, crossing your arms defensively over your chest.

He's disheveled, almost haggard, and much skinnier than you recall. You wonder briefly if he's been ill but quickly decide it doesn't matter--he left you, fooled you into thinking he loved you.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long," he rasps, his voice strained, as if he'd been screaming for hours.

You scoff, doing your best to avoid looking him directly in the eyes. That's how he always got you, manipulated you.

"It's too late, Leto. I'm leaving in the morning," you tell him, turning away to fiddle with your already-packed bag.

"Will you at least let me explain?" he pleads, shuffling closer.

You sigh, shaking your head. You tell yourself no, that you don't owe him anything, that he doesn't deserve a chance to explain himself...but you can't help but be curious.

Without looking at him, you nod, bracing your palms on the dresser before you.

He thanks you, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before he dives right in. He's been in jail, he claims, was locked up as soon as he stepped foot on land. Evidently, there was a mutiny and some of his crewmen, led by Yueh, had framed him by planting an illegal drug called Spice on board the ship. As soon as it had docked, the mutineers had sent an anonymous tip to the authorities and, as the Captain, Leto was arrested and thrown in jail. Unable to prove his innocence, he'd had no choice but to serve his time.

The story sounds plausible, and you're almost inclined to believe him but....you just can't. Your heart wasn't just broken by him, it was shattered. Irreparably, you think. Even if what he claims happened is true, you can't see how you could ever trust him again. Not after everything you've been through. You tell him as much, back still turned to him. After a beat of silence, you hear him shift closer, feel his warmth against your back, your eyes falling shut as he presses a gentle kiss against the base of your neck. You swallow a whimper, inhaling shakily when he runs his knuckle down the back of your arm.

"Please look at me, my darling," he pleads, voice thick with emotion. "Just one more time."

Hesitantly, you turn and your heart breaks a little more at the pain and desperation in his eyes. He smiles, taking your hand in his and gently squeezing it. Your eyes well with tears, one escaping and sliding down your cheek, and your curse yourself for your weakness. Using his free hand, he swipes the tear away, his touch lingering on your face.

You're not sure who moves first, but suddenly his lips are on yours, and a fire ignites in your chest. More tears slide down your face as you kiss him back, your arms winding around his neck as he hoists you up to sit on the dresser. The action knocks your bag to the floor with a dull thud, but you can't bring yourself to care as Leto licks into your mouth, his tongue hot as it slides against yours.

When he finally thrusts inside you, it feels like coming home. Suddenly you feel safe again, you feel at peace.

In the end, he travels with you back to your homeland. Slowly, the trust that was broken is rebuilt and before you realize what's happening, you allow the love you have for one another to heal your shattered hearts.

[nomomio]

I finally started reading Nona the Ninth. I'm five chapters in and here are some key takeaways so far:

- As a trans feminine butch Pyrhha Dve having a completely normalized shaving scene, and Nona thinking it's beautiful is HEALING

- In addition to that, the teacher misgendering Pyrhha threw me through a loop cuz I completely forgot she's now permanently in Gideon the First's body.

- The fuck is the blue light??? Why does it hurt necromancers???

- Crown is Coronabeth (Corona, Crown, duh). Captain is Judith.

- This book is managing to be to uplifting and hopeful, yet makes me so incredibly sad in a way I can't begin to describe. As someone who has such a deep indescribable love of humanity as a whole, Nona and the kids especially are really hitting something deep within me.

- Pyrhha wanting to take Calamedes (name pending) and Nona away and live away on a farm is just. Mood girl, mood.

- Pyrhha sweety, why are you drinking bleach? Do you wanna talk?

- I want to scoop up Hot Sauce and give her a good home

- The rest of the kids too while we're at it

- Between the last book and now Cam/Palamedes, Tamsyn Muir has accidentally created quite possibly the most positive representation of Dissociative Identity Disorder, and disorders like it, that I have ever seen. Like I just wanna sit down with Muir and ask if that was intentional or not

- It's a bit out there but I think Nona is humanity? Or maybe a manifestation of Earth? Like it would take an It's Always Sunny conspiracy board meme level of explanation to get into how I got to that theory. But I think Nona is humanity, or at the very least, human connection incarnate

- That first chapter detailing Cam, Pyrhha, and Palamedes caring for Nona... I cried. As an autistic kid who both was forced to grow up too fast, and also was often patronized when loving innocence/naivety shown through the mask, seeing caregivers not only love Nona, but respect her and show her DIGNITY was something I didn't know I needed to see