#if he’d been the one to die in episode five your transparent asses would not care

[fatherramiro]

“only krester leaving ángel shattered his facade” do you mean as opposed to literally the multiple times that stuff involving ramiro (either him being placed in danger in episode one or him calling ángel on his shit in episodes two or three) shattered his facade before or were y’all not paying attention because ramiro was onscreen again? also I mean he was soooo upset when he saw krester died oh wait

also it’s soooooooo cute how you’re all “lol ramiro deserves an independence arc” but then treat him like he’s pathetic for being in love with ángel like aw you all genuinely do not care about ramiro’s narrative at all and that’s fine but also please just admit that rather than pretending to care

and finally “ángel’s dying words were him acknowledging he doesn’t love or deserve ramiro” girlies (gender neutral) have i got some fun facts for you about the show’s dub that bo and jantje definitely approved :)

obligatory if we’re mutuals you are not the person im complaining about disclaimer! but after like eight months or whatever im done pretending like people in this fandom actually gave or give a fuck about ramiro and if you’d like to complain go look in his tag for a few minutes and then come back and act like the bullshit takes don’t exist

[fatedfuturist]

things about my interpretation of tony stark. updated june 07, 2020.

here’s my exhaustive explanation for how i am not canon-compliant with the events and characterization of the mcu.

the reason for this is… well, there are several reasons, but i don’t want to stir shit up or just, in general, stomp on anyone else’s love for the mcu. and don’t get me wrong— i do love the mcu! but there are parts i’m critical of for personal reason, as we all have opinions on certain things. bc, yeah, you can love something, or someone, and still be logically critical about it or them.

anyway, here’s where my interpretation differs…

as per stated on my rules: i take inspiration for tony from multiple sources, including the mcu, marvel comics, the television show: avengers assemble, and my own personal headcanons. TONY IS ALSO ASIAN (SPECIFICALLY CHINESE) AMERICAN!!

i will admit that saying this isn’t particularly helpful if people don’t know, specifically, where i differ in terms of my interpretation of our dumbass genius. some of this info is scattered about on my blog, but here, it’s all consolidated into one post.

chen kun is my face claim, and i do use stuff from tony’s story from the mcu as a base. however, there are events and moments from the movies, that i selectively ignore due to personal preference; and then i build on top of my foundation with ideas, themes, and/or events from other sources such as the aforementioned sources listed above.

throwing this all under a read more because, like i said: exhaustive list. very. very. very fucking long. i’m serious– read at your own risk.

howard stark was an extremely abusive and absent father for all of tony’s childhood; tony did actively seek attention and approval from howard because he was rather aware of how famous he was and wanted the acceptance and validation from his dad; there wasn’t much shown in the mcu regarding his relationship with his father, but my inspiration for his father-son relationship comes from the comics;

an example of his verbal abuse: “you don’t want to be a sissy, now do you? stark men are made of iron!” (Iron Man, 1968);

an example of early exposure to alcohol: at age five, howard forced a drink into tony’s hand (which he did drink), stating that it would teach him “to be a man,” and that it’d “put hair on your chest” (Iron Man, 1968);

yes, this means that tony ‘forgiving’ howard in endgame is completely chucked out the window;

tony loses his parents the night of december 16, 1996 (not 12/16/1991), at the age of seventeen;

jarvis, the family butler, was more of a father to tony than howard ever was, and yes, this is why he names his first fully-functioning AI system jarvis;

tony was close with his mother, maria; she was his safehouse, and she taught him to be gentle and loving, and she also taught him the piano, which tony still periodically practices during his own time in private. in an avengers assemble episode, there is a piano in the tower that tony protects twice, which i reckon is because it has connections to his past with maria;

tony ain’t an old grandpa. i don’t see him being older than, like, 35–40 in the present time for my writing (chen kun is 44). this comes from comic and avengers assemble inspiration, which has been fairly ambiguous since they never mention his age. for plotting purposes in the mcu though, yes, he can be like 42–52 if needed.

tony is, by default, single unless otherwise stated. the reason for this is simply because i’m not big on tony / pepper in the mcu, and it’s not because i don’t like pepper (i love her as a character as an individual), but i just saw that the way they were written (so, this, yes, blames the mcu writers) was completely trash; they sort of redeemed it in endgame, but... in general, they had a lot of potential but then some writing choices pretty much ruined the ship for me;

this means that morgan does not exist unless otherwise specified and discussed, though i do enjoy the concert of tony being a dad to his own kid and breaking that cycle of howard’s shitty parenting;

i’m going to be as honest and transparent as i can: i do, for certain, love writing stevetony. they’re my primary ship. not simply in mcu dynamics, but from the comics and avengers assemble. however, like some can attest to, i will never force a ship on anyone. if you express no interest in them romantically? that’s fine. we can write them simply as good friends and comrades. i won’t stop writing or plotting with you if you don’t like them in a romantic dynamic. if you do like it that way? cool. i know it might be intimidating to discuss this given i look like complete trash for them, but i never choose who i will/will not write with based on whether we ship or not;

tony, publicly, hints toward being bisexual and biromantic a lot of the time as he’ll practically flirt with anyone at all times, but he never really openly admits it due to his oh-so ancient internalized homophobia (thank you for that one, howard and societal expectations of the time);

justin hammer is a long time rival in the industry, and often meddles with tony and his work all the time. it’s nothing new. the lack of foundation established in IM2 doesn’t provide much insight into their relationship. long story short (taken from avengers assemble): hammer is a punk bitch who’s jealous and tony is tired of him and will gladly beat his ass any day of the week whenever he drives a tank into his front door (which happens more often than not).

tony is fantastic with children. he loves getting to interact with children because he knows how excited they are to see him and/or iron man (seen in both the mcu and in the comics). this type of attention he’s okay about. if he can inspire children to do good things and be good people and be heroes in their own right, then he’s doing his job;

tony fosters the intelligence and dreams of bright individuals all the time by offering scholarships for high school graduates and post-secondary students, and also provides internship opportunities (equal opportunities regardless of race, sex, gender, religion, disability status, age, etc.)

we only see this occur with peter and harley in the mcu, but there are other kids— like riri williams! tony sees these kids for the bright minds that they have and he wants to help them and keep them safe as he knows these are the brains of the future.

let me run over iron man 3. like i said, i ignore some shit from the movies. tony doesn’t initiate the clean slate protocol, he doesn’t throw the arc reactor into the ocean, and he doesn’t remove the arc reactor from his chest. he will get surgery to get the shrapnel removed because if i were the follow the pain that comes with the comics, tony would literally be always on the verge of death at all times, requiring a chest plate to be recharged constantly to make sure the shrapnel doesn’t get closer– see? that’s a lot and i’m... lazy.

the reason for those choices are simple: clean slate protocol undoes his character progression;

the arc reactor is just a part of him as a person, stands as his heart;

avengers movie nights, (video/board) game nights, and training days exist and you will never be able to pry that out of my hands. tony always shows up fashionably late with coffee and pays for when shit gets broken by thor. team building exercises exist plenty within avengers assemble, including the fact that they share chores and decides who gets to do the next load of laundry from whoever chooses the short stick from the bunch.

tony has had anxiety and depression since he was a child. it just didn’t really flare up and get identified as a real, tangible mess of emotions and thoughts until he’d been kidnapped (and nearly died, at that). it got worse when he failed to address it until after IM3. into the present-day, tony deals with anxiety, depression, and PTSD all the time, but has improved (…sort of) when it comes to handling all of it, and certainly has grown to recognize similar symptoms in the people he cares about;

on another hand, tony has displayed symptoms of ADHD, but it’s not officially diagnosed, and some of these symptoms include, but are not limited to: hyperactivity (staying awake for days on end) and hyperfocus (hyper-focus on work), distractible (easily distracted when he’s not focused on something), rambling (talks a lot and often makes rather intuitive connections due to how busy his brain functions), impulsivity and recklessness (self explanatory), constant need to move around and/or do something (in meetings, he will be moving somehow, whether it’s tapping fingers or feet, or shifting around in his seat);

there are days where he feels inferior due to how human he knows he is (in comparison to most of his team), and other days, he feels as though he’s more machine than he is man. these feelings fluctuate depending on how he’s doing with his mental health, and/or if he hears and/or sees anything about him that points toward either idea;

there is always overwhelming guilt for those he can’t keep safe or people that die; tony doesn’t like to kill anybody (unless it’s robots, because… they’re robots, not human lives); though, if pushed far enough with no other choice, he will throw conventional morality out the window for the sake of protecting all that he believes to be for the good of the world;

tony isn’t jacked. he isn’t captain america fit, but he isn’t particularly thin, either. his body is sort of like a runner’s build (for visuals, refer to valerio schiti’s comic art of tony). i interpret tony’s body as a slight bit slimmer. he exercises, and being in the suit also is its own form of exercise. god forbid we discuss his eating habits, though. and–– he also isn’t short short, but he isn’t tall, either. he sits at 5’10”, which might be a little below the average male, but that’s about it.

speaking of eating habits, simply put: tony can’t cook for shit and that’s it. he’ll try to cook for his significant others’ on the occasion, but he can’t be blamed if he burns everything.

tony isn’t ‘woke’ or perfect, as it’s imperative to remember he grew up as rich and with financial and some social class privilege (since he was rich), despite the abuse and harassment he experienced during his youth. it’s taken him time to recognize this, and he realizes it really doesn’t cost anything to be a better person, which is why he tries to be better when it comes to his tone of voice when discussing certain topics he has no authority to be speaking of, and by taking action with simple manual labour when it comes to chores (so he doesn’t hire other people to do shit for him). he also knows he can’t be a man of ‘all bark and no bite’ when it comes to supporting people and causes, hence why he actively advocates for female and youth empowerment through both words and actions.

in regards to ca:cw events, i would prefer to ignore them. for specific-plotting purposes, this can be dropped, but i prefer the events of avengers assemble when it comes to ‘civil war’. it’s actually really simple:

tony was not honest about his intentions with the team regarding a robot that was initially made for him by howard, which ended up with an ultron reboot that nearly risked loads of civilian lives and the team’s lives;

steve confronted tony about it when they returned back to avengers tower. with tony’s insistence that everything was now fine, steve decided to resign due to tony’s dishonesty and lack of trust in the team;

this splits the team in half, where steve takes— well, they decided to leave since they didn't like tony's lack of honesty— natasha, the hulk, and the falcon to work under SHIELD as the ‘secret avengers,’ and tony, clint, and thor remain as leftover avengers (later with the addition of ant-man and temporarily, spider-man, in some missions);

in the end, they all join back together after learning to appreciate their differences and reconciling under the fact that there wouldn’t be any more secrets that could risk the world, and the team’s safety;

if i am to follow the events of the mcu— between ca:cw and infinity war, he develops nanotech for his armour, which is embedded into his very skin to accommodate for nanobots, which interacts via neural transmissions (visuals here);

tony recognizes that he lost his temper and let his emotions get to him in the moment, which fucked up shit that could’ve been talked through and fixed;

tony is an alcoholic. he recognizes that he always will be, though he’s always working toward sobriety. he certainly relapses every so often when things are rough and he feels as if he has no other options, but he’s aware that relapsing is part of the process of recovery. he has attended AA meetings (alcoholics anonymous), and has been AA sponsors for people in the past;

to skim through the events of infinity war and endgame should these be part of the things you’re curious about (this is getting really long and i’m sure you’re tired of reading this—how have you gotten this far?):

after returning from space, tony took a few months (~ five) to recover from those three months of malnutrition, dehydration, and the wound of thanos’ stab. tony sealed the front of his injury, but he sure as hell wasn’t seen dealing with the back end. during this time, he’s able to regain some muscle mass;

he lives on his own, retreating to the cabin to escape from the responsibilities of being a fallen hero who ultimately failed the people he was supposed to protect.

during the five year gap, he keeps in contact with the other avengers, but very rarely. they’re the only ones who know where he lives;

like i said— tony does not say any of that forgiving bullcrap to howard. victims of abuse don’t have to forgive their abuser, parent or not. let’s just imagine the entire interaction didn’t happen at all;

tony doesn’t die;

he used the infinity stones; but, to maintain consistency with what the mcu established w/ thanos: he sustained significant damage to his right arm, up to the shoulder and neck. it’s gravely scarred. the overall function of that arm also diminished greatly. vision out of his right eye is not as sharp as it once was, either;

a year of recovery and physiotherapy later, tony decides to amputate and go for a prosthetic. he works with shuri and wakandan tech to build an arm;

despite the end of the looming, world-ending thread, tony still battles resurfacing trauma. not every day is happy, but he is working toward recovery. there are days he doesn’t remember chunks of what happened due to the power of the infinity stones; sometimes, he doesn’t even want to remember it, anyway;

tony retires. sort of. for the most part. if the world really needs iron man, he’ll be there;

tony may have handed CEO-ship to pepper, but he still handles a lot of work for stark industries, and that’s what he primarily does post-endgame.

the multiverse and realm-traveling happens a-fucking-lot 

[lanceville]

bold of any of you to think i’ll ever let the fandom acknowledge what s8 has done. THIS is how the last season went:

the first episode starts with their discharge from the hospital. on his way out, shiro notices a familiar figure in one of the hospital rooms, sitting on the bed with his head that’s wrapped in a dozen bandages facing the window, face unseen. however, shiro thinks it’s just his imagination and tries not to dwell a lot on it and swallows his hope. he needs to stay strong for the universe, for “him”, just for a little longer.

lance asks allura out in the first episode, and she accepts. the klance sunset scene still happens the way it did. but when they go out on the actual date, she tells him that she doesn’t think a romantic relationship between them will work out, that she does care about him and cherish him, but only as a dear friend, and not in the same way he cares about her. she rejects him softly and gently, tells him that he’s a great guy and that many would be lucky to have him. it’s just that she can’t see her and his future together playing out well, and that maintaining their relationship as friends would be much better for both of them. she also tells him that he deserves someone who’d love him and cherish him the same way he would for them, a person with a heart full of kindness and love like lance’s. tells him that that person already exists, and that lance knows who they are without her specifying anybody. she thanks him for always being a good friend to her, and hugs him tight. lance accepts her rejection with no hard feelings, yes, he’s a little heartbroken, be he somehow feels relieved. relieved that he has realized that he doesn’t need to be in a romantic relationship to have others care about him and value him strongly and love him for who he is. relieved to still have allura as a friend, and relieved that she was honest with him, and that he didn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to. he just wants her to be happy. they spend the rest of the night hanging out, and lance is content.

the next day when keith sees lance, he asks him how the date went. lance smiles bittersweetly and tells him that it didn’t work out. he still feels heartbroken a little, but not at all as bad as he thought he’d be, and will feel better in a couple days. keith’s eyes become gentle, and he puts his hand on lance’s shoulder to show his support and smiles softly. he tells him that he will find happiness one day, and that he will be there for him all the way if he needs any support. that he is there for him now in case he needs some comfort. lance smiles and tells him that some sort of distraction right now would be great, so they go racing down the mountain on hoverbikes. lance feels much better afterwards.

lance still provides allura with emotional support like always, and she’s so grateful for that.

shiro gets a new prosthetic arm (this time a normal one) and it glows like the old one, though it also leaves a trail of sparkles when he swings it. romelle suggested that, and, well, shiro kinda likes it if he’s honest with himself. it also has the sky symbol of the black lion on the bicep which keith insisted on adding, since shiro will always be the rightful leader of voltron and the best of them. lance seconds that and tells shiro that he’ll always be his role model and his hero. and yes, shiro is still part of team voltron and goes on missions with them, along with krolia. he also dyes his hair black. when he looks himself in the mirror and sighs “god this looks so much better on me” allura glares at him and asks him if he has a problem with white hair. she glares daggers at him for the next five solid minutes he fumbles to find words. keith saves his ass and tells her that black happens to be shiro’s favorite hair color and that he has nothing against her white hair. allura doesn’t look convinced though.

the small, intimate, private talk between lance and keith still happens, though lance is worried about what lies ahead in the final battle, and if all of them will make it out, and even when he feels that he’s grown a lot since their journey started, he worries that he still might not have what it takes to ensure everybody’s safety. keith reassures him that it will all work out fine because they have lance on the team, and tells him that they’ll always have each other’s back and protect each other, and that he’d never let anything harm anyone on the team. lance laughs softly and points out how keith has changed a lot since the beginning too, and they spend time reminiscing about the past and how far they’ve come. they clasp hands, but it lingers longer than necessary as neither of them attempts to let go that quickly.

there has been also another thing on lance’s mind... but he doesn’t tell keith that because it revolves around keith himself.

before they all go to space again, the team takes allura, romelle, and coran to an amusement park. the alteans have the time of their lives. allura breaks the high striker strongman game. she looks so proud of herself, and everybody’s impressed, but not really surprised.

i have no idea what the plot was or who they fought or what happened outside of character interactions this season because i didn’t watch the past two, but during one of their battles, lance uses his altean broadsword. he conjures it to strike someone aiming for shiro’s back, and keith stops mid-battle to just. gape. he would’ve had his ass handed to him again if lance didn’t turn his bayard into a riffle again and accurately shot whoever was aiming for keith. lance smirks and teases him: “cat got your tongue, keith? never seen a handsome sharpshooter who’s also a swordsman in your life?” and he winks. keith’s flustered for just a second before he smiles softly and tells him while they resume fighting: “yes, lance. you’re the first handsome sharpshooter swordsman i’ve seen.” allura is heard giggling somewhere from behind them while chopping off some dicks with her battle ax bayard and krolia shouts “good one, son” while judo-flipping some guy and breaking his neck. lance just stays silent, and when keith looks over to him, his face is hidden, and lance just mumbles “let’s just get this over with.” keith and lance fight with their swords back to back.

lance unlocks his own voltron bayard upgrade, which is a cannon on each of voltron’s shoulders - one shoots magma, while the other shoots a freeze ray.

when they go to haggar/honerva to stop her from whatever she’s doing, they meet lotor trying to do the same. everyone is shocked to see him back, especially allura. hunk places his hand on her shoulder. lotor tries to ignore them, to not look at them, and focuses on defeating haggar. they’re fighting somewhere near a neutron star like the one keith and krolia orbited on a space whale. the imbalance in the threads of space-time lets them see some of the horrid memories lotor went through because of zarkon. and since haggar is trying to open a portal to jump to other realities or whatever, they got to see how other realities are like, where zarkon and his family are not zombies thirsting after quintessence - where they’re a normal family. this, however, is hard for lotor to see. he’s about to charge at haggar in anger and frustration when allura grabs his arm and tells him not to, that he wouldn’t be able to defeat her alone. long story short, allura finds a way to defeat her, though a sacrifice on her part must be made, since she holds all the magic.

so, in order for allura to let haggar and lotor die in peace and return to the realm of the dead, she sacrifices her altean alchemy knowledge and her marks of the chosen. she won’t be able to use magic anymore, and all her knowledge of altean alchemy would disappear, along with the lions’ connection to her life force. so she gives that up, and while doing that, she rises to the sky and shines like an actual angel, light that appears both plain white and vividly colorful emitting from every inch of her. the lions are heard roaring, letting go of their connection to her. the light then starts to morph into the shape of a white lion above her. her eyes glow a bright, beautiful turquoise, and when she looks down at haggar and lotor, the white lion charges at them with its fangs fully exposed, but instead of attacking them, it passes right through them, and they’re flooded with light surrounding them from all sides. before their souls disappear into sparkles, lotor and allura lock eyes, and they smile gently, and both honerva and lotor thank her. before the light fades out, alfor appears semi-transparently, and tells allura that he’s the proudest father in the universe. with that, the universe is saved.

they go back to earth to rest for a couple days after all of this. with her magic gone, the pink in allura’s eyes disappears, and they become just turquoise (that’s like, to physically showcase that she lost her magic). romelle, hunk, and lance assure her that she’s still as beautiful as ever. since the connection between the lions and her life force is gone, so is her bond to blue. she goes to her to tell her how grateful and honored she feels that she’s got to pilot her, and that she’ll never forget that experience. blue keeps purring softly at allura. lance is with her, keeping a respectful distance for some private chat between her and blue, glad to see that both of his beautiful girls are safe, happy, and doing fine.

the night they return from space, after he and allura return back from where blue was and have dinner with everyone, with lance sitting next to keith like always, lance goes to see shiro before bed. lance tells shiro that he’s always liked keith, and that he wants to start something with him, but he’s afraid that it’s still too soon and that he’s rushing things, especially that he got over allura just awhile ago and should probably wait a while longer before he starts confessing romantic feelings to anybody again. he knows that keith cares about him, because it shows, but he’s... afraid that it might not be in the same way he does. shiro breathes out a soft laugh and places a hand on lance’s shoulder, saying: “keith reciprocating your feelings is the last thing you should worry about. you’ll be surprised when you find out.” lance just stares at him confusedly, and shiro continues “if you need time to put your feelings into words, then take however long you need. keith will be waiting for you. he’s always been.”

lance spends the next two days staying close to keith, hanging out with him and stuff, contemplating whether things between them might work out after all or not. they clean their lions together, prank slav and coran, race on their hoverbikes, teach allura and romelle about pokemon and how to play it (romelle especially is hooked), make sure shiro is getting enough rest and is relaxing and not falling asleep in the gym, play with lance’s niece and nephew, and watch the sunset together (lance still doesn’t know how this part is considered “hanging out” but he’s not complaining). lance never misses the soft smiles and tender glances keith keeps sending his way, so he makes up his mind,

on the third day, lance tells keith that he wants to talk to him about something. they climb the black lion and sit on his head (this has become their usual private spot), and lance begins talking...

“i’ve always wanted to explore the skies and to become a pilot. i loved looking at the stars and dreaming of discovering the secrets they hold as much as i loved the ocean and- and you know how much i love swimming, haha.... anyway, when i got into the garrison, i was extremely joyful and excited. there, i met you.... the little bratty lonewolf mullethead who never talked to anyone and kept breaking the rules and- yes it’s true, keith, don’t deny that, you were such a brat when you were a kid i swear- but- but as much as you annoyed me and got on my nerves, i loved seeing you fly. you made it seem so natural, so smooth, so easy, so liberating. you were... really amazing... and you were my goal. you made me want to become better and better, and do my best to be as good as you are. i admired you so, so much. i won’t deny that i didn’t have any feelings of jealousy though.... haha..... i was...... pretty jealous of you too.... like you were close to shiro, my number one hero, and you’re a natural prodigy who barely put in any effort in training and yet bested everyone, even the instructors, and you were really popular, man, like even i- *awkward cough* anyway, i tried my best to reach you on the top, because if i reached the place where the best pilot is and then surpassed him, i’d be considered the best, and then i’d be recognized and acknowledged, and gain what i’ve always wanted before: attention and glory. but you never noticed me, and that really saddened me and got on my nerves.... made it seem like you were a stuck up belittling me and thinking that i’m not worthy of your attention, so.... so i created this rivalry with you... deluded myself that i hated you.... tried to grab your attention in the pettiest ways because you would never look at me otherwise........ but when we got trapped together in space and were forced into a team together, i learned more about you, and even though you look like an intimidating mulletted emo from the outside, especially with that intense frown of yours that never left your face and that made me think you’re always plotting someone’s murder, you’re just a stupid dork with a soft heart from the inside... and..... and i grew to like your soft mullet, your murderous frown, your rough voice that can grow exceptionally soft at times, your eyes that harbor numerous galaxies inside of them, your impulsive tendencies - even though they make you seem suicidal sometimes which is not acceptable at all, you idiot - your cute smile, your fighting style....... i grew to like you, keith. deep down i knew it, but for some reason, i didn’t wanna admit it. allura... allura was my ideal. she’s a perfect goddess who everybody is captivated by, and it was only natural that young, stupid, flirtatious, immature me would try to score with her..... but i grew to genuinely care about her too.... though it was... more platonic than romantic at first. i started caring about her as a friend more than anything... and i was about to give up on liking her romantically in favor of being friends especially that... that you and i grew closer after shiro disappeared, and i thought- i thought there might be... some chance for me to accept my feelings for you and to voice them when i’m ready, but you left for the blades, and any hope i had for anything between us shattered... heh... i know it might sound silly coming from me of all people at that point of time but - but i took your abandonment of the team pretty hard.... you have become the closest person to me, and i used to spend most of my time with you... so when you left... i felt so lonely, especially that the rest of the team have each other and know their place... i used to be your right hand man after shiro disappeared, and you always listened to what i had to say... gave me the acknowledgement and validation that i was in need of.... treated me as an equal.... and listened to my worries and reassured me... so when you were gone, i lost all of that... clone shiro didn’t need a right hand man in the first place, and nobody seemed to need me around.... so i started doubting my place on the team and my self-worth again, and i thought maybe... maybe if i found love, i wouldn’t feel like that anymore... so i turned to the only other person i’ve had feelings for - allura, and i... tried projecting my feelings for you onto her, but somewhere along the line, those feelings became genuine, and i truly liked her, and i thought, maybe this would work out after all, and when i came to you, you encouraged me too, which... which made me think that maybe it’s time to move on from you now but.... when allura rejected me, i was heartbroken, but not as much as i thought i would be? i felt some kind of... relief. i felt complete. that i’m my own person, and that i should be proud of that... and i finally realized that i don’t need a romantic relationship to feel validated... allura still cares about me and i care about her too, and that didn’t change and won’t change, whether we were in a relationship or not. romance isn’t the solution to everything, and i shouldn’t pursue it thinking that it is. i’m really glad that it ended like that between allura and i. this way we can comfortably be friends without any awkwardness or discomfort or mixed feelings, and it’s not just allura who accepts me for who i am. i have a lot of people who i cherish and cherish me back - shiro, romelle, coran, hunk, pidge, my family, and most importantly.... you, keith. you were actually the one who provided me with the most emotional support that i badly needed to realize my worth and place in the universe. you are always there for me when i need to talk and you always comfort me.... i feel most comfortable around you. talking to you is easy and comes naturally to me, and you always make me feel better when i’m feeling down. this is why- this is why i want to always be with you, keith. you make me feel happy, and i want to make you feel happy too. i really, really, really like you, kei- whoa! dude?!?!!?”

when lance turns his head away from the sunset to look at keith after the longass heartfelt speach he gave, he sees that keith’s face is smudged with tears... no wonder keith stayed silent without a word for this long because the boy looks barely able to breathe, let alone speak. lance is taken aback, and tries to ask keith if he maybe said too much or something wrong when keith jumps on him and stuffs his face into lance’s neck, holding him really tight. lance relaxes into the hug and holds keith just as tight. keith mumbles through the tears: “i really like you too, lance. i always have”

the next day, the go on a date to the beach, except that everyone else tags along, and they only spend like 30 minutes of walking alone together on the beach shore, fingers intertwined and swinging between them, before they hear everybody shouting and race back to see that coran thought that the watermelon was a beach ball and threw it to allura and romelle who wanted to play beach volleyball, and when allura tried to spike it, the watermelon burst open and fell all over her face. they thought hunk was crying because he was scared allura got hurt, but it turns out he’s just tearing up with his face in the sand because he’s laughing too hard. when he looks up with his face covered in sand and tears, he says: “me? scared that allura would get hurt by a watermelon???? this is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard since we knew zarkon had a son!” and then he dissolves into half-laughing-half-crying in the sand like a dying ostrich.

the garrison along with the rest of the planets in the galaxy prepare a prodigious festival to celebrate the defenders of the universe’s victory. when shiro is about to pass a corner to go to his room to get ready, he bumps into a tall man with slightly wavy chestnut hair, bangs falling to his eyes, one of which is lightless, rectangular glasses framing them, right side of his face paler than the rest of his tan skin due to a scar extending from his neck to the corner of his eyebrow. he forgets how to breathe, and so does the other person. me manages to let out a chocked “adam...?” before his vision goes blurry and his eyes well with tears. they hug, forgetting everything else for now that they’ve finally found each other after so long, and go to talk in shiro’s room. when shiro tells adam that he thought he was dead, still dumbfounded that he’s alive, adam deadpans: “talk for yourself. if you think i’ll ever forgive you for making me believe you were dead for good and have me grieve over your stupid soul for years without even thinking of sending me a text message once to reassure me you’re not and then coming back with the title of “defender of the universe” after you’ve adopted like five kids besides keith and transferring your soul into body that was your clone’s is just straight out unacceptable, takashi, hope you’re ready to pay for all of the compensations.” and shiro is horrified and feels really guilty for not taking adam’s feelings into consideration, so he tries to make it up to adam and take responsibility: “i’m ready to pay all the compensations and more if it means that you won’t be mad at me anymore.” adam looks at him and says: “well, the first thing you have to pay for is a house. if you want to move in together again then at least buy a better house this time than that ugly apartment, takashi.” shiro looks up at adam and stares. adam’s face softens and he continues: “i was mad at you because i loved you, and i’m still mad at you because i still love you. you make me worry too much about you, takashi. if you promise you’d take better care of yourself, i’d consider participating in paying the expenses of the wedding we planned before instead of throwing all of them in your face. so, what do you say?” shiro is still staring at him. he snaps out of it a few moments later, and his eyes go tender and teary: “trust me, i have experienced enough things to last me ten lifetimes. i want to do nothing for the rest of my life besides drinking orange juice on the beach sand with you.”

“are you really solo-planning out the rest of my life for me, takashi?”

“you still have the option to accept it or reject it”

“you idiot. you know that i’ll accept it”

shiro and adam have their wedding that they’ve always deserved and it’s a huuuge one! when adam throws the flowers, they fall into lance’s hands. a second later, another bouquet falls into keith’s, and when they both look up, they see shiro and adam winking at them, and adam says: “takashi and i both bought flower bouquets for each other. convenient, huh? now you both get to have one to gift the other after the wedding.”

as for their future, they rebuild altea all together as their final mission as voltron. allura becomes the queen of the new altea, with coran and romelle as her advisors (romelle is only an advisor in title though, she mostly spends her time gossiping with allura). hunk is a galactic diplomat, and he visits shay constantly, and sometimes works alongside allura, or for her. he also still works in the garrison as engineer, but only when he’s needed. pidge builds a robot factory, and works as a technician and inventor in the garrison. despite what shiro said, adam and shiro still work in the garrison as instructors, but only part-time. they love flying way too much to abandon their jobs, honestly. keith stays in the blade with his mom along with lotor’s generals, and the blade of marmora becomes a humanitarian and direct relief organization. lance becomes one of the best instructors of the garrison and a renowned pilot. he’s sometimes asked to do other, very unrelated jobs, like modeling for a fashion magazine, or helping out hunk with his diplomatic work, or teaching kids how to milk cows. he’s also become part of the blade of marmora with keith and helps him out occasionally. keith and lance take vacations from time to time and go to different planets on dates.

they’re all happy and safe. and that’s a constant in every reality.

[awed-frog]

Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets/The Most Sacred Oath

I’m guessing you can’t hear me squeal over your own squeals, but I’ll just keep at it a little longer, okay? Okay. 

Man, this episode read like very good fanfiction, and while I’m disappointed Dean never found out Cas used to be a woman (although, they did have a conversation about that, so Steve gets points anyway), everything else was plain amazing. I’m actually tempted to do a recap that’s just shouting words into the void, because, seriously, that would be enough, but - okay, let me watch that thing again and then I’ll write a proper meta.

Okay.

(Deep breath.)

So, let’s get one thing out of the way: we already know why this story works so damn well, but it’s worth saying it one more time, because this is what the whole episode was about.

A human and an angel: not meant to be.

Ishim said humans are dangerous to angels, and I agree with him: if angels want to understand humans, to truly become friends with them, to live among them - well - look at what’s that done to Cas. Caring about humans is, apparently, different than caring about another angel; it forces you to give up something deep inside yourself. You become - weaker, unhappy. Doubt-ridden. Trapped between two worlds, and fit for neither. And as for humans - if they truly wish to get closer to angels - to speak their language, to know enough about their magic and weapons to be able help them when they’re in trouble or hurt - that literally costs them their souls.

It’s a tragedy. It’s doomed.

But, of course, it’s not completely hopeless. What would be the point of writing a love story if you know from the start nothing can never happen at all? No - love can conquer all, and this episode dangled it in front of us - the angel who chose humanity, who tried to defend the person he loved from his own brothers, and the human who was fascinated with angels and knew enough about them to make it work.

(They had a daughter, sort of, and let’s cry about that for the rest of eternity, because can you see it? Dean loves kids, and -)

Anyway. We’ve known for a while that angels - I mean, the price Cas paid for his loyalty to the Winchesters (his love for Dean) - that’s harrowing. But this idea that humans need to sacrifice their soul to become closer to angels - thanks for that, Steve. I’m fine.

And surely, at this point, there is no other way this could end? Because what Sam and Cas share - yeah, that’s what friendship looks like, but Dean and Cas - right. And so Cas went and said it (“You mean too much to me.”) and Dean just holed up in his room for the rest of the week? He never said a word to Cas? And, Jesus, Cas thinks Dean’s angry? At him? I’m glad this, at least, was spelled out clearly, because apparently some people still don’t get it and read Dean’s emotions at face value and no, Dean was not angry - he was worried out of his damn mind, and he’s got reason to be, because Cas still doesn’t fucking get it: “I don’t regret what I did, even if it costs me my life”.

The idiot - the useless, fucking idiot.

(“Smelly. Dirty. Twice the worry about getting ganked.”)

But, actually, it’s even worse - Cas is like - I don’t know - he clearly gets it enough to fight back, but not enough to understand what’s going on and react in some other way. When Dean started to have a go at Benjamin, Cas figured it out and was able to play the same game (“Yeah, you know what I like about him? He's sarcastic, but he's thoughtful and appreciative, too.”) and the result is that Dean very nearly crashes the damn car, because, what the hell? That’s alarming and scary in so many ways - Cas getting it - that’s almost worse than Cas not getting it, because there are so many things Dean doesn’t know about Cas, and what if Cas doesn’t - what if Cas can’t -

And the thing is, Cas can’t. We know that now, and he said so himself, back in 1901: “You have lain with a human and you fathered a Nephilim. You have broken our most sacred oath, and the penalty is death.”

We all assumed (or, at least, I assumed) that creating a Nephilim - that was the unforgivable bit. But apparently, the problem is both the laying and the fathering, which suddenly frames the angels’ disgust at Cas living with the Winchesters in a new light - they were being nice, weren’t they, because shunning Cas - that was nothing. If Cas had taken one step closer to Dean’s bed, they would have killed them both. Apparently, sex with a human breaks the oldest law in Heaven, and yep, there it is, I’m squealing again - 

- this makes everything so much better (for anyone that loves angsty stories, that is), and also explains why Cas friendzoned Dean so much - not only sex is not on his radar in general, but what Dean wants - that’s, like, specifically the first thing God forbid, and would mark Cas for death - at once. Boy, what a mess. 

And it’s too late to turn back now, isn’t it? Dean was so transparent in this episode - as he scoffed at Ishim, I couldn’t help but being reminded of Ron and how he’d attack anyone for calling Hermione all those things he’d call her himself, day in, day out, because remember that? that was fun and that was how you write someone in love and oh my God.

And the mirror - the mirror was glorious, wasn’t it? “All my life, I dreamed about angels.” - that broke my heart, because this is Dean, isn’t it? His mother telling him about angels - that’s about the only memory he has of her, and he hunts monsters for a job, knew monsters were real since he was a very small child, so how many times must he have told himself that angels existed too?

(They must, they must, they must, because look at all the rotten and dark and evil things out there - angels must exist, and Mommy said so.) 

Of course, Dean would never share this with anyone - not his father, who handled The Conversation so poorly Dean didn’t speak again for months and months, and certainly not Sam, who is good and worthy and never deserved his freak brother putting his crap on him. But when he sees Cas for the first time (“When I first saw him...I thought he was perfect.”), Dean can’t help himself: “I thought angels were supposed to be guardians,” and yes, that’s the lie and the dream he’s been telling himself, over and over, for years. And Cas - Cas turned out to be both Ishim and Akobel, because he came when Dean called, and he opened up to him (because he loved Dean, that is, and that’s canon), and he hurt Dean, but he also managed to stop - to see that what he was doing was wrong - and of course he saw that, because “How could anyone know them and not love them?”, and that’s why he chose to remain on Earth, this wet, unpleasant place, and keep watching over Dean (and Lily had a child; how subtle, Steve, and thank you, Steve).

And man, now I’ve got all the feels about Cas -

- because Balthazar - Jesus, he was Balthazar’s commander - hello 91W flashbacks - and I don’t care if the timeline’s a bit wonky (like, he got his own ‘flight’ of angels after he was serving under Ishim, but if in 1901 he was still doing that and Balthazar had been long dead, then what...?), because Ishim said Cas survived Hell, and that’s weird and unusual and does this mean dozens of angels tried to save Dean and died and how did Cas swing it, then, or does this mean nobody wanted that mission or Cas improvised and went down there of his own volition, just because he could feel this human soul calling for him and if he died for that, so what?

(Okay, that’s it - we need to know how and why Cas saved Dean from Hell, and we need it stat.)

Also - a flight of angels - that’s five of them? Man, we always forget about this because we know them now, and Cas is a cinnamon roll and all that, but angels are terrifyingly powerful, and turns out there are few of them not because SPN can’t afford extras, but because the playing field’s not level at all and just one of them will kick your ass to Hell and back and fucking watch him. And not only that - they’re weird, obsessive creatures - that thing with the game at the beginning - Steve, that was awesome and perfect in every way and thank you.

(It also highlighted, again, how unusual it was that Cas made his own path and chose to take a step back and trust Dean - chose to be patient, instead of giving in to his factory settings, like Ishim did with Lily. Wow.) 

And something else I was lowkey wondering about - “She gave him everything her trust and her body.” - I don’t know if anyone feels the same way, but this reminded me of Hannah and how she told Cas, ‘We gave you our trust’ - because that’s all an angel can give, right? and they don’t have bodies of their own - except for Cas. So now I’m wondering if there’s something to this - if the way out from a world of evil and monsters is a sort of union between Grace and soul - body and trust - if this something Cas will become on his own, turning more and more human as his love for Dean burns his Grace out - so, does this refer to some future plot point (a girl can dream)? What if putting Cas inside Dean’s body (I meant using him as a vessel, get your minds out of the gutter) makes Cas much, much stronger? Oh, the possibilities.

And finally, extra points for Sam’s behaviour in the whole episode (because, yes, he knows, but I still wonder if he knows knows), and especially outside that diner, that was hilarious, poor Sammy, and extra points for that discussion at the end and the Winchesters consoling Cas a little bit and extra points for Cas saying his love for Sam and Dean makes him stronger, not weaker, and extra extra points for Dean choosing to die to keep Cas safe, because, man, are you trying to kill us here? Jesus.

(Finally: does anyone have any idea what’s up with all those ‘spot’ signs we’ve been seeing since the beginning of the season? I’m starting to think they’re a secret message from Wanek, a kind of ‘spot, spot, SPOT’ which, of course, literally means ‘look, look, LOOK’ and I don’t know if it’s a subliminal order to just keep watching SPN or if he’s telling us subtext matters or if maybe he’s just having the time of his life and painted a thousand of those things when he was high and now, goddammit, now he will use them and watch him?)