#if he uses what he did this chapter against my baby dan in the future

[maerinhearts]

It's that time again....

Is Joo Jaekyung going to piss me off today?

This episode... episode 17... last time I thought: "This could go 1 of 2 ways." Right?

It went neither of those ways. Which not only surprised me, but had me screaming. So no, he did not piss me off today. Is this the start of a trend?! He really did the unexpected and I'm here for it.

I know this BL is controversial, but I am really enjoying it. You can support the author on Lezhin. Again, this BL contains noncon and dubcon themes. Also, Joo Jaekyung is a mother fucker. If you don't think you can handle these things, I'd steer clear!

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 27

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, mention of weapons 

A/N:  more musical references ... who would’ve thought? but now i’m also adding disney references bc referencing is my passion (unless it’s for essays, then screw referencing). also i’m very sorry for being late with this chapter something happened last night and i couldn’t finish it. i hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

    - Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six ...  - a choir of two voices echoed through the reading room in the Forrest household with one being significantly deeper while the other much higher and almost baby like. However if asked, Y/N would solely deny that being.5 made her a baby and she would constantly put five fingers up in pride of her young age. Accompanying the two voices, there was the soft sound of the very old piano which had been with the Forrest family for more than a century - sept, huit, neuf.

   - Fantastic. Play the last three notes for me by yourself this time. - Daniel smiled at the much younger Y/N dressed in a hand-me down white ruffled dress with her hair pushed out of the way by a velvet white string. Y/N giggled, her babyish laughter echoing through the room before she could concentrate on the keys of the piano, her fingers pressing the same combination as just before. 

   - Sept, huit, neuf ... Sept, huit, neuf. - her fingers played through the keys as her still very badly spoken French came through but that was the life of a lady who was to grow up to stand next to an heiress; educated in the arts and languages, polite and classic, a picture and reflection of true perfection. Fake it until you make it, it’s what her governess told her constantly. - Sept, huit, neuf. 

  - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. - Daniel joined in with a lower key, quickly playing through the keys and ending at the nine making Y/N smile in relief. Whenever he changed to English it normally meant the lesson was over and while Y/N loved music, she didn’t enjoy it for three hours straight in the early morning. - You know birdie, whenever you don’t wanna be somewhere try to pretend you do.

  - It’s too early. - she whined, head leaned against the keys of the very expensive shiny black instrument. 

  - Alright, birdie, go on a do whatever it is you do in your free time.

Before he could even shut down the piano’s hood, Y/N was already on her feet, the small sounds of new tiny shoes becoming further and further as she exited the reading room and bolted towards the attic. At 5 years old, the young handmaid had mastered a way to get the high door open by using two tennis rackets tied together with one of her hair strings. After doing this, the stairs came collapsing down allowing her to climb them into the attic. 

Looking around like a squirrel afraid of being caught, she returned to the pile of boxes she had found when she was rummaging through whatever had been left there. She wasn’t entirely sure who it belonged to or what it was but she was convinced that it was filled with something that looked pretty enough to belong to a princess. Opening the first box she came face to face with a gold coloured head piece. Curiously, she grabbed it from the box rushing over to a pretty old mirror with already dark spots and a bit of browning. Curiously, she lifted up the headpiece, placing it on her head. Her eyes seemed to wander around her reflection before the headpiece started to slide down, a bit too big of her. Before it could reach the floor, however, Y/N grabbed it, noticing a few letters on the in the piece. 

 - Y/N, the French tutor is here. 

 - I’m going. 

Y/N watched as Sebastian in awe as he cooked her cheese toastie. Sure, a cheese toastie wasn’t a culinary masterpiece and it was the furthest thing from being a hard task, still she was just entranced by the sight imagining what things could be. Dreaming is a dangerous two edged swords allowing you to envision everything your heart desires yet having the power to keep it as further yet close enough to reach but never have. She could almost see it, she could almost see and hear the future that would never be. With eyes wandering to the piano in the living room, she could see and hear being sat at the piano teaching her child how to play while Sebastian made his cheese toasties in the kitchen. Yet again dreams aren’t reality, reality is much more bitter and unforgiven. 

    - Look at that, unburned. - Sebastian slide a perfectly white porcelain plate towards her containing the delicious snack. 

    - I’m rather scared that burning is your only evaluating tool for cooking. - she tried to hold in a little child-like smile but her muscles had more strength. - Thank you.

    - Well, angel, unless you can cook better than me I believe you have no right in criticising. - he took a seat very close to her, choosing to instead stare at her rather than eat along with her. At that comment Y/N scoffed, giving him a look that made him question his statement and wonder if she was some sort of hidden stellar cook. 

   - I would say I can, at least, cook better than you. 

   - What can’t you do? You’re like this untouchable Edwardian woman. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who is so effortlessly ready to be in high society.

   - I don’t belong in high society. - she seemed to stare blankly at the wall of the kitchen and how perfectly straight the back splash had been placed. Every single square perfectly placed yet not noticeable by its own, unless bringing perfection to the whole piece itself. - You just have to pretend you do. No one in this business is gonna give their daughter up to be standing next to someone who’s bound to inherit an empire ... you said yourself, if they shoot at an heiress they’ll shoot at you too. It’s more like picking someone off the street and dressing them up just good enough that you believe they’re untouchable. 

   - You don’t give yourself enough credit. 

   - I think you just see me through rose coloured glasses. - she took a bite off the sandwich. - You know what? That’s pretty good. 

   - Thanks, angel. - he kissed the top of her head. - Hey, how about we do something you really like tonight? 

   - No. - she held his hand. - Let’s do something you like to do. We never do something you like to do, why don’t you pick?

   - Angel, I don’t think you’d enjoy it. 

  - It can’t be that bad. - she put what was left from the sandwich in the plate, wiping her hands clean from the grease. -  You do what I want all the time. 

  - I like making you happy, angel. - he leaned towards her, placing a soft and quick kiss on top of her nose. - Besides, you haven’t made me do anything particularly torturous. 

  - No. - she crossed her arms at him, jumping from her high seat. - We are doing something you like doing tonight. 

  - Okay, angel. Let’s go then. 

There was no denying her, or at least he hadn’t built a backbone to deny her yet. Nevertheless, he took her back to the garage yet instead of walking into the unit they had just been in, both of them kept walking and walking passing various units with various numbers, probably belonging to other tenants. He finally stopped in front of an abnormally large unit which had a pin code pad. Quickly and almost mechanically he put the code in which made the door unlock allowing him the open it up. Stepping inside, this unit was way more organised than the last one with what looked like a small version of a shooting range. A mob boss liking to shoot ... original. 

  - Do the neighbours not complain about the noise? - she wondered out loud. 

  - Soundproof walls. - he gave her his regular pearly white smile, taking a pair of noise cancelling headphones and googles from the wall. - Besides, it’s my building. 

  - I’m sure someone probably has complained. - she teased as he put a pair of googles on her face. - Have you ever shot a gun, angel?

  - I did archery in school. - she shrugged. Gwen and Dan usually went for the shooting range back when they were younger but Y/N was always one to take that time to herself and stay home either practicing for her lessons or reading. Besides, she was entirely sure she didn’t even know how a gun worked. - Didn’t have a good aim.

 - Well, this it’s not entirely like archery. - he opened a black panel, grabbing a matte black revolver before handing it to her. Y/N, however, stared at it untrusting of the object. - You’ve grown up with the mob, don’t tell you’ve never touched a gun. 

 - They told me not to and I enjoy following rules. - Y/N crossed her arms, defensive of her statement which made Sebastian smirk. - Besides, what if I touched it and it accidentally shot me? 

 - It’s locked, angel. - he placed the revolver in front of the circle target so he could put the noise cancelled headphones on her, leaving it just spaced enough so he could still talk to her. - Besides, maybe you should know how to defend yourself.

 - Okay. - still a bit guarded, she picked up the weapon, placing herself in line with the target while Sebastian was by her side. 

 - It’s a quick-lock system. - he helped her unlock the gun. - Now, regularly most of the ones in the mob have a quick-lock system so if you’re eve ...

 - I don’t wanna think about it. - the memory of the gunshot from earlier had her not in the mood to think about danger. Maybe there was imminent danger to avoiding the probability of her being hurt but half her mind wanted to believe that people wouldn’t shot at her. Sebastian tightened his lips, changing his narrative. - What if it shoot you by accident?

 - Angel, that is pointing nowhere near me. - he tapped her elbow. - Eyes on the target and pull the trigger. 

Y/N swallowed in dry, looking up from the gun to the bullseye before pulling the trigger. The sound didn’t hit her as hard due to the headphones but she still took a step back out of surprised followed by an upset moan due to the fact the bullet had hit the furthest place from the target. 

  - Right... - Sebastian placed himself behind her, arms coming up to her, almost mirroring her position so he could move her arms and overall aim in the right position. - Take a deep breathe, pick your target, concentrate and shoot. 

  - Okay. - she took a deep breath, feeling his skin too close to her in a way which almost made her too weak on the knees to concentrate on the target. Nevertheless, she focused on the bullseye, pressing the trigger which caused a back/forward motion and the bullet when straight into the target making her eyes and smile widen as her ego swelled up with pride. She turned around, pulling Sebastian into a hug. - I did it!

Sebastian locked the revolver, placing it back on the table before returning to a very enthusiastic Y/N yet not very excited to do it again. Nevertheless, Sebastian was happy she at least knew how to use a weapon, just in case. As he opened his mouth to say something, his phone started to ring. God, just fantastic. Sighing in defeat, he put his phone on to his hear, a fairly familiar yet annoying voice coming through. Y/N watched in confusion, not entirely sure who was at the phone but from what she could manage from his words it seemed like he was getting an invite which he was very against. After what felt like a good 5 or 10 minutes of speaking on the phone, begrudgingly he turned his phone off, looking at Y/N with a look which was very indescribable.  

  - Are you okay? - she took a few steps forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, one of her hands coming to brush his hair soothingly. - Who was it?

  - Gwen. She’s spending New Years at the Ritz and she wants you to go. 

  - The Ritz? I thought she was going to Monaco. 

 - Seems like she decided to stay in New York and wants you and me there for good measure. 

 - I know for a fact she does not enjoy your company? Why the sudden change of heart?

 - We are getting married in two weeks, angel. I would call it PR but then again, what hasn’t been PR with the two of us?

 - Oh ... right ... the wedding. - sometimes Y/N forgot that she was very much involved with a man stuck in his engagement. It wasn’t like he could break it, that was a death sentence and probably the biggest mistake he could make. However, she still didn’t know how she was gonna handle it. Maybe Mr. Forrest was right, maybe she should go to Paris after all of this was over, maybe she should just start to distance herself but how could she distance herself from someone who is just so magnetic without even trying? How do you ignore a magnetic pull? - Well, I guess we should pack ... again. 

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​ @nikkipea​ @madisonpillstrom​ @cevans98​ @thelostallycat​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @anxiousdreamersworld​ @captainchrisstan​ @lookiamtrying​ @sarge-barnes-sir​ @stuffforreferences​ @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen​ @nsfwsebbie @strangerliaa @emzd34 @everything-is-awesomesauce @dreams-in-blxck 

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 7:

The King In Yellow

Walter’s really putting his all into that whistling.

Kerry ended up losing Walter eventually. But I guess she was chased out of her hiding place by the zombies.

Theory: Much like how David feels most stable and confident when Syd’s around, Kerry feels most stable and confident when Cary’s around. She’s much less likely to lose a fight or get scared if Cary is in the vicinity. This would also explain why she feels so betrayed that Cary left her in Mental Clockworks. She works best when he’s around (power of love and all that) so when he’s not around she constantly feels like she’s on the ropes. Maybe only subconsciously though.

Lenny says “Hey” a lot.

So Farouk... actually seems distressed here. This is him at his least chill. He’s just shoved a person he actually cares about into a corner of their mind cause he just couldn’t understand them, the dream he’s created is collapsing and he has no plan on how to deal with it (rare for Farouk), and the location of his own body (his temple) is still lost to him after all this time.

Also, there’s apparently no specific place it could be. Farouk’s body could be anywhere on the globe. I guess he and everyone who knows about is aware that he could come back to his body if he knows where it is?

Even though it’s pointed out a lot I’ll also note that Charles is in his wheelchair in Amy’s flashback. And given future/past events (confusing, I know) this either means Farouk is the one who put him in a wheelchair, or whatever caused it happened between defeating Farouk and giving away baby David. And there’s... really not a lot of time in between those 2 events.

As we’ve seen before, while Farouk can probably see into Oliver’s ice cube residents, he can’t actually go inside or do anything to Oliver (or his guest) while he’s in there.

Farouk doesn’t want the dream to end until he’s located his body.

Cary is used to finishing Oliver’s sentences.

Cary and Oliver think very alike. The biggest difference between them I suppose is Oliver’s reality bending powers.

David never agreed to the barbershop quartet but Oliver put his name down anyways.

I never caught this before, but the thing that makes it obvious to Cary is the fact that the parasite called itself “King”. Before when watching this I thought “it’s just a name,” but I guess the point is... what other villain would be so hubris filled as to advertise who they are so openly. It speaks to the brazenness of Farouk. If Charles had ever checked back and found out David was talking to some invisible friend named “King” Farouk woulda been discovered then and there. I can only assume this means the name “King” was taunt of sorts. A joke only Farouk was in on. Not to mention, Farouk probably would never have settled for a name any less dignifying.

Oliver doesn’t remember any of his past friends, but he does remember Farouk. I wonder, did him and Cary hear about Farouk before or after Charles defeated him? Farouk hasn’t been publicly doing things for 30 years, and the only event that could reasonably be linked to him is Meiser Sunday. If they knew about him before Charles defeated him then that would just speak to his prolificness as a villain, I guess. “The Shadow King”, an unstoppable force for years until a random prodigy mutant gets him on his first try... or so they thought. I believe that’s how it happened in the comics too.

I’ll also note, Charles is an important figure in the mutant community, but it shouldn’t be discounted that the mutant community still existed and had a whole rich history before Charles even stepped on the scene. It seems like either Xaviers School doesn’t exist in this timeline, or they just don’t know about it. And given that, Summerland seemingly founded itself off the same general ideas of the Xavier School, but completely independently. Like 2 people coming up with the same idea on different sides of the planet.

Farouk’s weakness as Oliver puts it is, “He puts all of his energy into tricking David. Didn’t think to watch his six.” I wonder... is this a consistent weakness of Farouk’s? Could this be what Oliver means when he says he found his weakness in s2?

Oliver admits Farouk is too powerful for him. It’s not like he’s one to have a power complex, but it is interesting how shameless he is about it. He doesn’t really philosophize about that kind of thing, he’s matter of fact about it. Farouk’s got more measurable power than me, we need to find another way around him. He also notes though that *David* could defeat Farouk if need be. Everyone recognizes David as the top of the food chain.

Small note: I guess this is how it works between omega lvls. Always thinking of ways around each others raw abilities. Farouk knows David is too strong for him in s2, so he finds away around it. David knows he might not be able to hold out against Farouk’s built up experience, so he finds away around it. Brains over brawn every time, it would seem.

Cary feels really really bad for David. Seeing him screaming his brains out in a locked box knowing full well how much David hates small space. It’s very sweet. But also, 2 episodes Cary seemed a bit more standoffish about David. Knowing what he knows now recontextualized all those past events. David is a victim of something incomprehensibly terrible. He sees that now.

My boi Dan’s gonna need a lozenge after this one.

“We’re gonna need everybody.” They never get Ptonomy :/

I didn’t pick up on any of the other times, but Syd’s job here is to be a distraction. Sure, she has to protect the others in the process, but freeing them from the dream is the job of Cary, Oliver, and Melanie.

Still though, David is the victim who needs help here. He’s not the hero who saves them, he’s the one in need of saving. And Syd takes charge in the plan to do so and is tasked with protecting the others, making her once again closer to the hero archetype than David is. In the moment at least.

Syd’s talking fast cause they don’t exactly have all the time in the world here.

The zombies vanish but the architecture remains. There are “degrees” of real in the astral plane.

“Just thought it’d be interesting.” She’s over the whole “jumpscare haunted house” thing by now.

Silly me, the Melanie scene took place after Cary went to gather people. So it’s definitely Cary in the suit.

Melanie’s glad to see he’s back but she’s not completely love struck. Probably both cause he doesn’t remember her, and cause lovestruck Melanie was a result of her mind being altered to fit the delusion. Cary is guiding them out of the delusion so she’s back to her old self basically. Rational, and concerned with the mission.

This isn’t important, I just like how Melanie wakes him up here. It’s sweet, and bitter, cause it’s too late for him anyways.

Why does Farouk simulate this whole process for Rudy? What’s the use in tricking him if he already can barely do anything? We know Rudy gets him eventually, but it’s just surprising that Farouk recognizes him as being a potential threat.

Cary neglected to inform Syd who else he was personally waking.

Is Walter seeing the zombies too? Unclear. But he’s less chill about his tormenting now.

David starts using humor to cope. From what we’ve seen he’s been non-stop screaming for a while. It seems like he stops panicking as much specifically because his mind is fracturing to help him cope.

His first alter (that we see). Rational Mind.

RM says the coffin is just an “idea.” Very specific word choice there.

Rm tells him to forget all the “lies” he learned in memory work and the MRI. That was all Summerland stuff, though. “It’s your mind.” Essentially, trust yourself. You know who you are, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Not even your new friends. Very reminiscent of, “You decide what is real and what is not.”

David doesn’t want to call his adoptive parents his parents anymore.

David’s happy to finally contextualize Farouk as a mutant and not a mental illness. It all starts making since to him, his whole life.

RM’s the first one to say “boohoo,” and it’s in response to David’s sadness over his bio-parents giving him away.

“I am pretty, I am loved.” “Good, keep going.” This mindset David’s falling into is specifically encouraged by his alters. In fact, it’s RM that pushes him down this path in the first place. David (non-Shadow King possessed David) has been avoiding this thought all season.

David’s a bit wrong here, and I think the difference tells us something important. David assumes Farouk possessed him after he was already living in the Haller’s house. But, we know it seemingly happened before Charles even got back from Morocco. So, given that Gabrielle’s mental health was already bad from post-partum depression (alternatively, it’s just the depression she already had) and Charles leaving her alone to go to Morocco, Farouk coming in and haunting the house probably sent things over the edge. David was most likely given away because Gabrielle wasn’t well enough to care for him like he needed, and Charles... 🤷🏾‍♀️ tbh. Might just’ve not wanted to raise David without Gabrielle. They both said they didn’t ant him to turn out like them. In s3 it’s made to seem like the house haunting was a combination of David and Farouk. David’s haunting time travelly presence probably made things worse, but Farouk would’ve gotten to the baby much sooner if not for him, and without David in the way Farouk probably would’ve upped his own intentional torments. The goal was revenge after all.

David assumes Farouk’s goal is revenge upon the whole world. Makes sense since that’s what Farouk’d been encouraging David to all season. And what he’ll continue to encourage him towards throughout s2 & 3.

Syd “woke him up.” She makes him more stable and sane. She grounds him in reality.

“I was sick, but I’m not sick anymore.” A moment of quiet deliberation with his alter and then he awakens with newfound confidence and a plan. This will repeat in a very tragic way later on.

Kerry, Syd, and a damaged comrade in a wheelchair. If I had nickel for every time this happens I’d have 2 nickels. Very weird it happens twice. Unless... mental clockworks and the end of s3 are supposed to parallel each other.

I assume the astral-plane diving suit protects whoever’s wearing it from psychic threats, much like the ice cube. At the moment, no one’s wearing it.

Sometimes psychics powers require a bit of miming to manifest. Oliver can’t just wave his hand and make a shield, not a strong enough one at least. Similarly, Farouk can’t just expand his mind into the future, he needs to go through a whole time machine building process in the astral plane.

Cary and Melanie seeing Walter get killed must hit hard for them considering he used to be a student of theirs. Sure, he turned against them, but still...

They juxtapose Walter dying with Rudy fully waking up. I wonder if that means it was his powers that were keeping Rudy docile and not necessarily the stab wound.

David is the one that wakes them all up, destroys the dream, and puts them back in their real bodies. And just in time for Cary to place the halo on his head. This is I think the first time David does a real act of super-heroism. The only potential one previously is saving Amy and he wasn’t really the one in control there. This is his first win against Farouk.

David’s not only got control of his powers, but control of himself for the first time, too. And it’s to the point where he’s perceiving things at lightning speeds and moving fast enough to catch bullets. Along with whatever power he’s using to halt the bullets momentum too. For now at least, this is our hero.

They play sinister music whenever he does the bright white light teleport. He does it again at the end of s2. Is it a specific kind of teleport, or is he just adding flair?

David didn’t teleport them directly to the base.

Kerry sadly looks at Rudy’s body.

Melanie looked around for Oliver but in doing so missed him meeting up with the others.

Everyone’s relaxing after their long fought for victory. David and Syd seem really happy. They find Oliver funny/charming.

When Cary’s talking to Kerry, in the background I can barely make out everyone else talking about potatoes.

David’s fine with Amy apologizing, just not in front of the others.

Instead of “The Poor Woodcutter and His Wife” Oliver calls it the “The story of The Lady and the Crane.”

Farouk doesn’t like small spaces either. Ha.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick & Reader Chapter 50

warnings: nsfw-ish

Coffee wafting through the house and into the guest room wakes you, and you stretch out on the bed. Sitting up a little, you see John is already gone and notice the clothes at the end of the bed that he’s left for you.

“Of course he picked this stuff.” you say to yourself, and you laugh when you see he picked a lacy thong and your tightest jeans you own. He left a loose sweater too, so you assume it must be a little chilly this morning.

You quickly change your clothes and as soon as you open the door, you hear laughter and chatter coming from the kitchen. You head to the kitchen and hear John laugh loudly, and you smile to yourself as you lean against the door frame, watching him talk with your mom, Dan, and Jimmy.

It’s nice to see John is such a domestic setting. Sitting around the table, surrounded by people who love him. It’s honestly what he deserves.

“Well, good morning, sleepyhead.” Jimmy says, waving at you.

“Hey,” you rub your eyes and lean against the counter, putting your head in your hands. “Good morning, everyone.”

John walks over and rubs your back, leaning down to kiss the top of your head, “Are you hungry? I made some breakfast.”

You wrap your arms around each other and you lean your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and closing your eyes. You feel something pressing against your lips and you open your eyes to see John trying to feed you a piece of bacon.

“You haven’t eaten since we had dinner last night, I know you’re hungry.” he says, still trying to push the piece of bacon into your mouth, “I’ll force feed you.”

“No, you won’t.” you laugh and take the bacon from John.

“Go sit down.” he says, already making you a plate as you sit down at the table.

“It’s unusually quiet, where’s Tess?” you look at Jimmy and smile, “Still sleeping?”

“No, she was actually up before me. April wanted to talk to her, I guess. She went over there about an hour ago.” he looks at his watch and nods, “Yeah, about an hour.”

“So, Dan, mom tells me that you’re going on a vacation soon.” you say as John sits next you with your plate of food.

“We are, next month.” he nods and holds onto your mom’s hand. “I can’t wait to spend time with her.”

“Where are you going?” John asks, pouring juice into your glass.

“Greece.” your mom clasps her hands tight and smiles wide, “I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Well, you’ll love it. It’s beautiful there.” John says and under the table, you feel his hand on your thigh. John looks at Jimmy and nudges him, “Got any plans for your honeymoon?”

“No.” Jimmy sighs and looks at you, “Tess always wanted to go to Italy, but I just don’t think we’d be able to afford it right now.”

John squeezes your thigh under the table, and you can tell he’s forming a plan in his head. You and John haven’t given Tess and Jimmy a wedding present yet, and you know he’s going to offer to pay for their honeymoon.

Your mom looks over your shoulder and her eyes grow wide. You turn around to see Tess standing in the doorway, her face is red and wet from tears. Jimmy practically falls out of his chair and rushes to her side, his hand already on her belly.

“Are you okay? Talk to me.” he says, pushing her into the living room to talk to her.

“I wonder what that’s all about.” your mom says and wrings her hands with worry. “I hope the baby is okay.”

You look over at John and he rubs your cheek. “I’m sure everything’s fine, baby.”

__

You pick at your food on your plate, not feeling for hungry all of the sudden. John’s hand is still on your thigh and he squeezes it to get your attention. He gives you a sweet, reassuring smile and wraps his arm around the back of your chair, pulling it a little closer to him. You all sit in silence for what seems like forever when you finally hear Jimmy laughing loudly in the living room.

You turn around in your seat as Tess walks in, crying again. She smiles at everyone and shakes her head, putting her hand on her belly, “I’m fine, we’re fine.”

“Don’t do that!” you say and get up to hug her, “I was so worried.”

The two of you hold each other tight and she starts to sob even harder, “Can I talk to you?”

“Of course.” you hold tight to her hand and walk with her outside to the patio.

Tess sits down on the love seat and exhales loudly, wiping the tears off her face. She takes several deep breaths and start crying again.

“You said you’re okay, but you’re crying non-stop. Are these happy tears?” you say, sitting down next to her.

“They are. They really are.” she says, closing her eyes and trying to compose herself. “Okay, I think I’m good.” She reaches out for your hand and smiles at you. You tilt your head a little, unsure of what she’s going to say and she laughs. “So, I just went to talk with April. You know how she’s moved into that apartment in the city?”

You nod, “Yeah.”

She takes a deep breath and starts to laugh, “She’s literally letting me and Jimmy move into the house. She knows how much I love it, and she knows I don’t want to move to New York City, and how much I hate the idea of moving away from you.”

“Wow…” you nod, unsure of what else to say.

“It’s perfect for Jimmy and I, and this little one and any other future kids. Her parents don’t want to sell it, and they said they want to give it to us as a wedding gift, I guess.”

“That’s…quite a big wedding present.” you say, still trying to take it all in.

“We’ll obviously pay for any house repairs, and Jimmy and I are, of course, still going to pay rent, but it will no where near what we’d have to pay if we bought a house. Which is perfect since we’ll have a new baby on our hands. April said we can move in as soon as we want. Isn’t that exciting?” she says, smiling from ear to ear.

“So, you’re telling me that you’re going to be right there?” you say as you point across the street and Tess nods excitedly. “This is so fucking exciting.”

You’re honestly not surprised that April’s parents are practically giving away this house. They’re rich as hell. They already own three other homes all over New York, and they also have a nice home in Florida for the winters. But that’s what happens when your dad is an anesthesiologist, and your mom is a psychiatrist.  

Tess wraps her arms around you and squeals loudly, “These last two days have been the best days of my life. I mean I would be fine with living in Jimmy’s apartment until we could save up money for a small house in Mill Neck. As long as I’m with him and not miles away from you, I don’t care.”

“Hey,” Jimmy says and kneel down next to Tess. He cups her face and kisses her on the cheek, “I love you.”

You look over and see John closing the patio door, and he waves you over to him. He holds tight to your hand, leading you away from Tess and Jimmy. When he gets behind the house, he grabs your waist, pushing you against the house and kissing you feverishly.

Your hands trail up his chest and you stand on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Pushing John back as much as you can, you both start to laugh at your weak attempt and he falls back against you. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist as he presses you against the house.

“Mmm, bacon.” he laughs and puts you back on the ground.

“Well, hello.” you say and tilt your head back, “What are we doing?”

“I wanted to talk to you…” he says, kissing your neck, “Alone.”

“Tess and Jimmy are going to be living across the street now. We better get an even better security system to keep them out.” you say, ducking under John’s arm so you can sit down.

“Are you happy that they’re not going to move to New York City now?” he asks, sitting down next to you.

“Yeah,” you nod and smile at John, “I know you probably don’t understand this, but we’ve never been apart. She’s my sister, and knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see her every day, or see the baby grow up breaks my heart.”

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that now. You’ll be able to see the baby all the time now.”

“Listen,” you shift in your seat to look at John and reach out for his hands, “If she’s ever over too much, or you’re sick of her, please tell me. I don’t get sick of her, but I know she’s a lot to handle sometimes, so please let me know.”

John laughs and nods, “I will. As long as we still get time alone…”

“Of course.” you smile and rub John’s thigh.

“Then as long as you’re happy, I don’t mind how often she’s over.”

“You’re a good man.” you say, patting John’s cheek.

“I was thinking since we haven’t gotten them a wedding present…”

You furrow your brow and look at John, “We did. We got Tess the picture, I need to give that to her today.”

“Yeah, but that’s for Tess. We didn’t get anything for the two of them.” he says, and you nod in agreement. “Tess always wanted to go to Italy…and they’re saving up money for a house, which they don’t need to save up for anymore, but they’re still going to need that money for furniture and all the baby stuff.”

“You want to pay for their trip to Italy?”

John shakes his head and laughs, “No, I want us to pay for their trip.”

You nod and look over at John, “Okay.”

“That’s it?” he says, taken aback by you not putting up a fight and he starts to laugh. “You’re not going to argue with me?”

“Nope,” you say and stand up behind John, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m not going to fight you on this stuff anymore.”

“Good.” John stands up straight and boosts you up on his back to give you a piggy back ride, and he walks back to Jimmy and Tess.

John drops you back to the ground, keeping a good grip on you to make sure you have your footing. He heads inside and comes out a few moments later with a pink gift bag for Tess.

“For you.” he says, handing to Tess.

Tess looks up at John and smiles, “Just for me? Not us?”

“Nope, just you.” you say and watch as Tess slowly opens the bag.

She pulls out the picture frame and puts her hand over her mouth when she sees the picture. Resting it against her forehead, she begins to sob, and she sniffles loudly as Jimmy leans over to look at the picture with her.

“Oh, my god,” she says quietly, looking at the picture and brushing her fingers over it, “It’s my mom and dad on their wedding day.”

“Yeah,” you kneel in front of Tess and look at it, “I found it a while back when I moved in with John. It must have gotten mixed in with my stuff from our move to New York. I showed it to John a few weeks ago, and he told me about how he had some pictures of Helen that got ruined, so he took them to this guy in the city and had them restored. This picture was really shitty, it was almost ripped in half.”

“I used to cling to this picture every night for three years.” she says, looking at you with tears in her eyes. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I mean, I’m sure you do, but this…means everything to me.” she looks back at the picture and frowns, “I wish they could meet Jimmy and see how happy I am. I wish they could have been here last night.”

“They were, baby.” Jimmy says, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

You wipe away the tear on your cheek and smile at Tess, “I love you, and I know your parents would be so happy for you, and yes, they would love Jimmy.”

Jimmy smiles proudly and perks up a little, “Thanks.”

“So…” John helps you stand back up and he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “We haven’t given you two a wedding gift yet, and we really want to pay for your honeymoon.”

Jimmy shakes his head and rubs Tess’ back when she starts to cry again, “We can’t let you do that, you two have already done so much for us. Helping us pay for the wedding, letting us have the wedding here, becoming our child’s godparents. Seriously, you’ve done so much.”

“Too bad, because we’re doing it anyway.” you kneel in front of Tess again and she looks up at you. “You’re going to spend your honeymoon in Italy, what do you think?”

“I think it’s amazing.” Tess sniffles loudly and stands up to hug you, “This means so much to me, thank you.”

“It was nothing,” you move to stand next to John and you nudge his arm, “It’s pocket change to us.”

“You’re so rich.” Tess says, wiping tears away with the sleeve of her sweater, and you all laugh at her. “I really need to go home and nap. I’m so emotionally exhausted from these past two days, and I know mom and Dan want to go out to dinner with us all tonight since they’re leaving in the morning.”

“We’re going to dinner tonight?” you ask, looking up at John.

“You were still asleep this morning when we talked about it, but yeah, they want to go out to eat tonight. I already made reservations for us at 7.” he says and wraps his arm around your shoulder, “Is that okay?”

“Of course, but I’m definitely taking a nap first. I didn’t sleep for shit last night.” you say and look at John over your shoulder as you walk inside.

__

You’re standing in your bra and panties staring at your closet when John knocks on the door. “You can come in.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, voice almost muted by the door.

You walk over to the door and open it, “Yes, I’m sure.”

John quickly steps into the room, shutting the door behind him. “Watcha doin’?”

“Trying to decide what I wanna wear tonight.” you say and walk back to the closet. In your bra and underwear, you know John is dying as he watches you, so you sway in place a little to tease John and you hear him laugh. “I have plenty of dresses, but I’m kinda sick of wearing dresses. I was just in a dress for hours yesterday.”

“Uh, how about…a skirt?” John says, and you look over your shoulder at him. His eyes are glued to your ass and when he feels you looking at him, he quickly looks up at you. “Just a suggestion.”

“I don’t want to wear a skirt.” you spin around and look at John, “You’re wearing a suit, so we’re going somewhere nice.”

“Yeah, The Steak House.” he says, sitting on the bed.

“The Steak House? As in the one that you took me to on your first date?”

“The very same.” he says, happily.

“Oh, so we’re going into the city, and we’re going fancy tonight. Like, ultra fancy.” you exhale loudly and look at John’s perfectly tailored suit.

“Yeah, your mom wanted go to a ‘fancy’ restaurant.”

“And of course The Steak House is the fanciest restaurant.” you roll your eyes and laugh.

“It’s not that fancy, stop.” he looks at you closely as you check him out and when your eyes meet, he smiles.

“Cloth napkins, John. Yeah, it’s fancy.” you joke.

“It’s not.”

It is fancy. You remember looking at the menu on your first date with John and hoping like hell that he was going to pay, because there was no way you’d be able to afford it. Of course, in the end, he paid.

You turn back around to your closet and shuffle through your clothes, “Well, I do have this jumpsuit that I haven’t worn in ages. I’ve worn it to ‘fancy’ places before, but I actually don’t know if it’ll even fit me anymore.”

“Jumpsuit?” John asks, trying to look at you through the mirror on the closet door. You turn around and hold it up to show him. “Oh! Yeah, that looks nice.”

Shimmying your way into the jumpsuit, it fits perfectly and you’re a little surprised. “This actually fits better now than it did before.”

“Sleeveless?” he asks, looking down at the bruises on your arm from Matt, “Are you sure?”

“Yup.” you point over to your make up bag and smile, “I can cover them up, no biggie.”

“I hate that you even have to do that.” he say, quietly.

“No, no, no.” you walk over and kneel in front of John, “We’re not doing this again.”

John hangs his head and sighs deeply, “I’m sorry, I just…hate this.”

“I know,” you cup his face and make him look at you, “I know you do, John. I know that you hate that someone hurt me, and I understand that. I feel the same way when you come home with cuts and bruises. It’s okay though, you didn’t do this to me.”

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed in me because I wasn’t there with you.” he says and looks down at his hands, “I didn’t get there in time.”

“You were there for me! The exact moment I needed you, you were there. John, look at me,” you say and he looks up, “Nothing happened. I’m fine. He just grabbed my arm a little too hard and left a few marks, and if it makes you feel better, I bruise easily. One time I ran into the door and gave myself a black eye that I had for weeks.”

“This is going to last for weeks?” he asks, and his eyes grow sad at the thought.

You shake your head, “No, probably not. I ran into the door pretty damn hard.”

John finally starts to laugh and he leans forward to kiss you, “I love you.”

“And I love you!” you say, grinning wide.

John stares at you for a moment before looking back down at your arm. He reaches out and brushes his thumb over it, and he starts to smile when he sees your arms cover in goosebumps.

“I love how protective you are of me, and I love how much you love me.” you say, leaning up to kiss John. You kiss him a few times, then move to the dresser to put some makeup on your arm. You quickly cover the bruises and turn around to look at John, “So, how about this outfit?”

“Looks good.” he says, watching you as you look at yourself in the mirror. He smiles wide when he sees you turn around and check out your ass. You wink at John and he laughs. “That looks…great.”

“Can you zip me?” you stand in front of John and he slowly pulls the zipper up. He pulls you into his lap and you look over your shoulder at him, “No, we’re leaving soon.”

“Quickie?” he asks, moving his hands up your thighs.

“No.” you laugh, shaking your head.

“Can I get a taste?” he asks, moving your hair away from your face.

“And what does a taste usually lead to?” you shake your head again and laugh, “No.”

John begins kissing your neck and you feel yourself melting into his lap. His hands are on your waist and he slowly starts moving you on his lap. You tilt your head back to kiss John and he moans against your lips as his hand travels up to your breast. Placing your hands on John’s knees, you slowly rotate your hips against the crotch of his pants, and he moans quietly.

“I’m sorry,” you laugh and get off of John, “I still have to finish getting ready.”

“You only have to put on shoes, that takes like five seconds.” he says, getting up from the bed and stalking towards you. “Come on.”

“No, I still need put on my last touches of makeup.” you say, sticking your hand out to stop John.

“You look fine.” he takes a big step forward and you laugh.

“Jonathan Wick, stop it!” you say, pointing at him.

“Okay, fine.” he laughs and when you turn around, he grabs you by the waist and moves to the mirror with you. From the mirror, you can see John watching as you lean forward and apply lipstick. He hugs you tighter to his chest when you’re done and he smiles, “Look at my girl.”

“You are so handsome.” you say, patting his cheek.

“We’re a good looking couple.” he says and kisses the top of your head. His hands move up your waist and he grabs at your breast as he kisses your neck.

“Are you kidding me, Wick?” you giggle and push him away again, “Stop.”

“I’m sorry.” he says, frowning and looking at the ground. “I’m sorry, I need to keep my hands to myself. I need to stop.”

“Oh, you are so pathetic.” you wrap your arms around John and smile at him.

You know John is only being this clingy because of the whole Matt situation. You’ve barely been out of John’s sight all day. The only time you had to yourself was when you showered earlier, and that was only because your mom asked to see John’s books in the basement.

If it was up to John, he’d follow you everywhere. He’d never leave your side if he had it his way. It’s quite flattering to know he really doesn’t get sick of you, and of course the feelings are reciprocated. John has never gotten on your nerves or annoyed you. The two of you genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

“You don’t need to keep your hands to yourself. I love it, it’s nice. But…my mom is just downstairs, and this time she isn’t asleep or distracted by a party. And I tend to be a little loud with you sometimes, so she will hear and she’ll come up here.”

“Well, we don’t want that.” he laughs and leans closer to your face.

“If I kiss you, I’m gonna ruin my lipstick.”

“Good thing you have a whole tube of it then.” he says and leans down to kiss you tenderly.

His hands squeeze your hips and his fingers press into your skin as he pulls you closer, and you push your tongue into his mouth, kissing him a little more passionately than you intended. You slide your hands down John’s chest to his belt buckle and pull him even closer. Standing on your tiptoes to deepen the kiss, John slides his hands to your ass and he smiles against your lips.

“There.” you say and lean up to kiss John on the cheek, leaving behind a dark red lipstick stain. “You’ll have to wipe that off, but will that tide you over until we get home tonight?”

“Maybe.” his hands are back on your waist and you grab them, slowly sliding them down to your ass again. “You look great in this, peach.”

“Does my ass look good?”

“So good.” he says, slapping your ass. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.” you nod as he walks to the door.

__

Walking with John into the restaurant, you feel a hand on your elbow and turn around to see Dan with Tess standing next to him. “Can I talk to you girls?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“We’ll be at the table.” John says and walks with Jimmy to the back of the restaurant.

“I gotta make this fast, your mom is just in the bathroom so I don’t have a lot of time.” he says and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small box. “You girls know how much I love your mother and I’ve wanted to do this for awhile, but I need to ask both of you. We all haven’t been in the same place since…well, since you were home, so I need to ask now.”

“You don’t need to ask me.” Tess laughs.

“Yes, I do.” he says, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “You’re her daughter too, and your approval is just as important as hers.” he says, nodding to you. “I love your mom very much, and I’ve been with her for a long time, I feel like now is the time to finally…”

“Yes.” you and Tess both say and begin laughing.

“You’ve always been good to my mom and to us. You’re like our dad. Of course it’s a yes.” you say, feeling your nose burning from the tears pricking your eyes.

“I know Leah won’t be happy about this, but I love your mom and I can’t put it off anymore. Leah is an adult, and she’ll just have to get over it.”

“Good for you, Dan. Finally putting your foot down.” Tess says, slapping him on the shoulder. “Wait, is she coming?”

“Tess, be nice.” you laugh.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything.” she says, putting her hands up in defense, and she looks over her shoulder as Leah walks in.

“I’m gonna talk to her now.” Dan says, and reaches out to hug you and Tess. “I love you girls.”

“Perfect timing.” you say as your mom walks out of the bathroom.

“Hey, where is Dan?”

“Leah is here, so he’s talking to her. Probably telling her to be a decent human being.” you say, trying not to spit at the mention of her name. “She was a bit dramatic last night.”

“When isn’t she?” your mom rolls her eyes and laughs. “What did she do this time?”

You stop walking and look over at John and Jimmy at the table. They’re talking, and Jimmy says something to make John laugh, of course. The two are the best of pals and you feel your heart swell.

“She was…I don’t know, hitting on John again. Asked him what he sees in me.”

“Jesus.” your mom takes a deep breath and shakes her head as she exhales, “I am going to have a talk with her, she can’t keep doing this.”

“It’s okay. I’m not worried.” you chuckle and look at John, “For once in my life, I’m not worried at all.”

Walking over to the table, John stands up and walks to the other side to pull out your mom’s chair. He smiles at her and she thanks him by patting him on the cheek. When John sees you, he quickly walks back over and pulls out your chair.

“Hey, mouse.” he smiles.

“Such a gentleman.” you say, kissing him before you sit down.

“You look so beautiful.” John whispers, leaning close to your face. “Can I take your picture?”

You lean your head on your hand and laugh, “Sure.”

John pulls out his phone and takes several pictures of you smiling at him. He looks at the pictures, and you laugh loudly when he starts taking pictures again. You take his phone from him and scoot closer to take one of the two of you.

“Ooh, that’s a good one.” he says, looking at the picture with you. His hand slides up your thigh and he smiles, “I love this outfit.”

You lick your lips and scoot closer to John, almost in his lap, “I can’t wait for you to take it off of me when we get home.”

John leans closer so that when he speaks his mouth in hidden from everyone, and his lips brush against the nape of your neck, “I can’t wait to fuck you tonight.”

You lean back a little to look at John, shocked that he’s saying anything so vulgar when your mom is only across the table. When your eyes meet, John smiles wide and leans over to kiss you.

“Wanna feel you in my mouth tonight.” you whisper and bite your bottom lip. “Taste you on my tongue.”

Tess is watching the two of you, and she smiles when you finally look over at her. She rests her head on her hand and she shakes her head. You feel your face growing red and John looks at you, trying to figure out why you’re blushing, and he turns to see Tess watching the two of you.

“Oh, god.” he laughs and lets go of your leg, grabbing your hand instead.

“This is a very nice restaurant, have you been here before?” your mom asks, looking through the menu as Dan and Leah join the table.

“Yeah, Jonathan brought me here on our first date.” you smile and look over at John.

“What are we talking about?” Dan asks, and you feel John squeeze your hand tight when he sees Leah.

He tries to hide the anger on his face and he’s good at it, but you know John well and you can tell he’s upset. You’re not ready for round two with Leah and you look over at John, trying to reassure him. You smile sweetly at him and he puts his arm around the back of your chair as you rest your hand on his leg, rubbing your thumb over his thigh.

“Jonathan brought her here on their first date.” your mom says, still looking at the menu.

“Oh, he did?” Dan asks and looks over at the two of you.

“Yeah,” you look over your shoulder and point at the table hidden in the back, “Right over there.”

“Seems like so long ago.” John laughs and rubs his hand over your bare shoulder, causing goosebumps to form.

“It does.” you smile, leaning over to kiss John.

“What was your first date like?” your mom asks, propping her head on her hands and staring at you. “You’ve never told me. You never tell me anything.”

“Yes, I do.” you roll your eyes and she laughs.

“Well, you still have never told me about your first date.”

“It was good, it was really good. The waitress was totally flirting with John the whole time, he was completely oblivious to it -- like he always is. But I guess that just goes to show that he only has eyes for me, even back then.” you say, throwing Leah a dirty look. “We talked non-stop, well, more like I talked non-stop and he told me really dumb jokes.” you look over at John and smile, “Then we went for a very short walk since it started raining, and then he took me back home.”

“But did he walk you to the door?” Dan asks, leaning back in his chair.

“He did. He held the door open for me, he pulled my chair out, he held my hand in the car.” you say and look over at John again. “He even kissed me on the forehead at the end of night.”

“Oh, my god! On the forehead?” Tess laughs loudly and shoves John’s shoulder, “Loser.”

“He was being a gentleman, Tess.” your mom says, laughing. “That’s very sweet, Jonathan. I’m glad she has someone who is so sweet to her. What about your second date?”

“Our second date? Oh man, I don’t think I even remember our second date.” you laugh and try to remember.

“The picnic in the park with Bleu.”

“The picnic in the park!” you snap your fingers and laugh, “I remember!”

John looks at your mom and laughs, “She told me she had a brother.”

“What?” your mom sets her menu down and looks at you, “Why?”

You cover your mouth with your hand as you laugh, and you look over to see Tess laugh hysterically.

“Tess told me the same thing too!” Jimmy says, then looks at Tess, shaking his head. “Liars.”

“Well, I was just trying to scare him…” you laugh, and John brushes his thumb over your shoulder. “I completely forgot that I had told him that until we came home from Christmas. John asked why we didn’t have any pictures of my brother around the house.”

“I didn’t want to mention him and bring up any bad memories. I just figured there was a falling out or something.” John says, shrugging.

“We did have a whole thing planned out, if it came down to it though. We were going to say he was a cop, which wouldn’t have worked because Jimmy could have just looked him up and could figure out that we were lying.”

You look at your mom across the table and she winks. FBI. She still believes John is in the FBI, and you try to hold in a laugh when you feel John’s grip getting a little tighter.

__

After dinner, John and Jimmy are in a deep conversation about something, but you’re honestly not paying attention to it. They tend to get into deep discussions and it usually ends with John laughing hysterically at Jimmy. Leah looks like she’s ready to stab herself in the eye with her fork. She hasn’t talked to anyone all night, which isn’t unusual for her. She usually just throws around dirty looks, or speaks up when she can ridicule someone.

“Switch spots with me, Jimmy.” you say and take his chair to sit next to Tess. “When is Dan gonna do it?”

“Look at him, he looks like he’s going to explode.”

Dan’s face is as red as a tomato, and he’s wiping sweat off his face every few minutes. You try to hold in a laugh and you look over at John.

“Is he okay?” he whispers in your ear.

“Yeah, he’s fine.” you say and look over at Dan. You give him a thumbs up and he nods. “Oh, here he goes.”

“Honey,” he takes your mom’s hand in his and she reaches out to touch his face, immediately concerned for him.

“Are you okay? Are you sick? We can go back to their house, if you need to lay down or something.”

Dan stands up and moves his chair, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the ring box. You and Tess grab each others hands, trying your hardest not to squeal. Dan kneels next to your mom and she covers her mouth as she gasps.

“I love you, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together. You’ve made the happiest man in the entire world. There is nothing more that I want than to grow old -- well, older with you.” Dan says and you all laugh. He pulls the ring out of the box as his hands shake and he laughs, “Will you marry me?”

Your mom is speechless and she looks over at you and Tess with tears in her eyes. You wipe the tears away on your face and nod at her, giving her your silent approval.

“Don’t leave the poor man hanging, mom.” Tess laughs.

“Yes!” she says and Dan stands up, wrapping his arms around your mom as the two of the cry in each others arms.

The whole restaurant starts to clap and cheer, and you look over to see Leah reluctantly clapping. She looks over at you, staring for a moment before she slowly starts to smile, then she looks back to your mom and Dan.

“Whoa.” John whispers and nudges you. “I saw that.”

“I’ll take it as an apology.” you laugh and lean over to kiss John.

__

You shiver standing outside and John stands behind you, putting his suit jacket over your shoulders and rubbing your arms to warm you up. Dan is talking away with the valet as they get your cars and you tilt your head back to look at John. He hears his car coming around the corner and watches as it pulls up next to you.

Tess taps your shoulder and smiles, “Thanks for dinner.”

“Of course!” you reach out and hug her.

She leans close to your ear and whispers, “I saw the total, I’m gonna pay you back for that.”

“Don’t.” John says, wrapping his arms around your waist again, “It was my treat.”

“John, I saw that bill. I get that you have money so you don’t mind just…throwing it around, but we didn’t grow up like this.”

“Neither did I.” he says, cocking up an eyebrow.

“Good point. I get it, Tess. It takes some time getting used to. I’m not even used to it,” you laugh and look up at John to roll your eyes, “But if I’ve learned anything from dating John, it’s that when he wants to do something, he will. And also paying for things is…completely out of the picture. He’ll never let me pay for anything.”

Tess frowns a little and looks up at John, “How about we get the bill the next time we go out for pizza? Or maybe we can have you over for dinner? I know it’s not much, I just…”

“Tess, stop.” John reaches out to touch her shoulder and she gives him a weak smile. “I don’t mind paying. I like it, I like being able to take my family out and pay for things.”

Your knees buckle and you put your hands over your mouth, “His family.”

“Can I just hug you?” she asks, and John lets go of you to hug her.

Ever since Tess has found out she’s pregnant, her maternal instincts have kicked in and she’s constantly wanting to take care of everyone. She’s always had a soft side with you, but with other people, it’s usually hidden under her sarcasm and wit. She likes to keep herself protected and you can understand that, but lately she’s slowly letting her guard with other people, and you have to admit that you love it.

“You are so soft, oh my god.” you laugh.

“Shut up!” Tess slaps your shoulder and laughs as she walks away, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“So, do you want to watch a movie when we get home?” John asks, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Yeah.” you say, and John rocks you in his arms.

“We’re going to drive into the city just to look around, Dan’s never seen New York City at night. We’ll be back pretty late, will you still be up?” your mom asks, walking over to you.

“Probably. If I’m not, Jonathan will be.” you say, and John lets go of you to open the car door for you.

The two of you say your goodbyes and get in the car, and you’re not even out of the parking lot before you reach over and feel the bulge in John’s pants.

“I’m sorry, you just look so good tonight.” John laughs and reaches down, sliding his hand onto your thigh and rubbing his fingers between your legs.

“How about we say screw the movie…” you look over at John and laugh, “And we just screw each other instead?”

“When we get home, you’re mine.”

__

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[timelock97]

Time Never Stops

Chapter Fourteen: Little He or Little She

Word Count: 1638

Prologue   Ch 1   Ch 2   Ch 3   Ch 4   Ch 5 Ch 6   Ch 7   Ch 8   Ch 9   Ch 10   Ch 11   Ch 12   Ch 13

Warning: FLUFF

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I move to look at myself in the mirror and smile at my reflection. The material of the light blue dress hugs my body perfectly, showing off the little bump. A pink ribbon is placed just above it tied in a bow. I turn to the side and smile at the bump, placing my hand on top of it as I admire the life growing inside.

"Love, are you ready for the party?" Tom walks in the room, dressed in a pair of khakis and a blush pink button up. "You look amazing, baby girl."

"You look pretty good yourself, handsome." I smile as he comes up and wrap his arms around me, pulling me toward him to place a chaste kiss to my lips.

"Our Mums shooed me upstairs to get you. Told me I had to get my pretty girl and bring her downstairs."

"Can't start the party without the guest of honor." I giggle, wrapping an arm around his neck and place one of his hands on my stomach before I pull him back into a kiss.

"No, we can't," he chuckles against my lips, pulling away to kiss my forehead. "Ready to head downstairs?"

"How does it look, before we head down?"

"They did a wonderful job. Izzy, Haley, and Mia took charge once they got here, Haz decided it was for the best." Tom chuckles, tugging me toward the door to the party below. I smile at the pink and blue streamers that were hung from the ceiling as we make our way into the living room. Tom leads me into the kitchen, where I am quickly hugged by Haley who tightens her grip on me and sways us from side to side.

"I miss you, why did you leave?" She whines playfully. I pull away from her, only for her to squeal and look at me with bright eyes, "Look at that bump! Do you have a prediction of what it is?"

"I do not, what's the popular vote?" I tease as my mom and Tom's mum come in from outside.

"Darling, you look amazing!" Nikki muses, walking over and pulling me into a hug, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek.

"Thank you, Nikki." I whisper, reaching for my mother next who hugs me tightly.

"Look at my little girl, you look beautiful." My mother coos, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

"You two should head outside and greet guests, we have to make sure the food is done." Nikki laughs, shooing us from the kitchen and out the back door. I smile at the fairy lights decorating along the top of the space, picnic tables dot the yard, and a photo area is attached to the right side of the fence with an abundance of baby related props. Both family and friends mingle about the yard.

"Looks like they did a good job." I smile as I lean into Tom's side, his nose grazing my temple.

"They really did, it's simple and that was all that we wanted." Tom smiles, pressing a kiss to my temple, pulling away as people walk over to greet us. I smile and pull family and friends into hugs and ask the usual 'how are you?' 'what have you been up to?' 'how was your flight?' After a few minutes I find Izzy and Logan, pulling them both into a hug.

"God, I have missed you two. How is everything? How was tour?" I ask as I pull away.

"Tour was amazing! Everyone is beyond excited for the next book, which should be out in about three months since I had already started months ago." Izzy laughs, running a hand over her arm.

"Well, this is the reason why I said to release two then do tour!" I laugh back, smiling at her proudly.

"We are, that's the plan for the next tour." Logan says, snaking an arm around his girlfriend's waist.

A pair of arms wrap around my waist making me laugh. "Did you think you could get away from me without saying hello?"

"No, Mia, you just looked busy talking with Haz I didn't want to interrupt you." I tease with a wink. Tom and I had been trying to set the two of them up, but since she was still in (Y/S) and he was here in London we didn't push the subject too hard.

"Well, he was talking to me about being in need of a roommate since Tom moved out and offered me to move in when I come out for when I study abroad in January."

"Really?" I giggle, glancing over to see Haz and Tom talking, Tom high-fiving him while Haz blushes. "Well, he is definitely a fun roommate to have, polite, loves to cook-"

"Trying to still set me up?" She teases with a raised eyebrow, "Because he has already asked me on a date."

"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said that Harrison and Mia would fit so well together," Izzy laughs.

"What can I say, we all saw it coming." I laugh, seeing that Sean, who was talking to Harry, had arrived as well as Dan and Phil. "I have to go finish greeting people, but thank you guys for today."

"It's going to be a great day." Izzy states, the three giving me a wave as I walk off to go give Sean a hug.

"There she is!" Sean says with a laugh, being careful when he pulls me into a hug. "How are you?"

"Better than I was about two months ago, little love made me sicker than a dog." I laugh half-heartedly. "I am so glad you could make it."

"Me too," he hums letting me go to take a look at me. "Look at this house!"

"I know! We really haven't done much setting up since we have plenty of time til they are here."

"That's fair. What are you going to do about videos?" Sean asks, folding his arms across his chest.

"Actually, I hired an editor that Robin recommended a week ago-"

"So you did call Alexis!" He says excitedly.

"Yup, I'm really starting to get pregnancy brain so editing doesn't go well. Can't really focus for too long, plus the further I get the worse it will be I guess, so I'd rather have someone else do it so I can focus on other things."

"That's fair, well everyone is excited to know whether what our gaming buddy is, who is going to join us the next time your in town."

"If I remember correctly the next time I'll be in town will be the charity live-stream in December. Tom is tagging along, I hope that is okay." I raise an eyebrow making him laugh.

"No," he teases back, "it's not okay. Yeah, he's good to come, the more the merrier."

"Perfect, well I have to go and mingle around more, enjoy the party!"

"You too!"

I walk away, shifting between people and getting pulled into more conversations before I can make it inside to grab something to eat, the kitchen was quiet minus the humming of the crockpots on the counter. I walk over and open each dish in turn, smelling the savory chicken, cheesy mac and cheese, taco salad, and sweet dirt pudding. A cake sat on one side of the counter, signed with the caption 'Little He or Little She?' on top. I smile and scoop a bit of mac and cheese on my plate and eat, humming at the taste in the quiet kitchen. I go to take my final bite when the door slides open, revealing Tom, who sees me taking a way too large of a bite.

He lets out a snort, "You know we are supposed to eat after the gender reveal?"

"Excuse you, who is the pregnant one here? I think I can do what I want." I sass, tossing my now empty plate in the trash.

Tom smiles, pulling me to him, "Everyone wants us to do the gender reveal, so you want to come outside with me and get started?"

"Yeah, let's go, I wanna know what are little love is going to be." I smile, taking his outstretched hand and let him lead me outside to where everyone was waiting.

"Are you two ready for the gender reveal?" Harrison asks with a laugh, Izzy walking over to his side.

"We are, what are we doing to find out what our baby is?" Tom asks, moving to wrap an arm around my waist.

"Chalk bomb," Izzy states, handing Tom a black plastic ball.

Tom smiles at me and pulls me to the side where we will have enough space for the chalk to fly. He throws his arms over his head, "ARE WE READY!" The crowd cheers loudly, making us laugh. Tom's arm wraps around my waist, smiling at me, "Ready, love?"

"Let's find out what we are having, Holland." I state, Tom's hand holding the ball raises again before he chucks it at the ground at our feet. The two of us gasp in delight as the ball breaks and pink clouds the air around us.

Tom turns and pulls me into his arms, spinning us around in a circle before setting me to my feet. "We're having a little girl, love."

"We are indeed, Tom." I tease, my arms pulling him down into a kiss.

"Please tell me someone got that on camera?" Tom calls looking at the crowd, seeing several people lift their phones, v-log cameras, and normal cameras into the air. "Okay, good," he laughs, shaking his head before looking back at me.

"First grandchild is a girl!" Nikki yells with excitement, hugging Dom as everyone walks over to congratulate us. It could not be a more perfect day, especially having so many of the most important people of our lives being there to witness with us our future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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@revenantwriting | @bellagrayson-wayne | @jackiehollanderr | @snowxbarryxendgame​ | @let-me-luve-you​ | @mybitchborky​ | @linnyalou

Chapter Fifteen

[maximows]

Against the Odds - Chapter V

Doppleganger,

MASTERLIST (mobile) AO3 

Warnings: a lil’ bit of smut (kinda), fluff, emotional distress, fighting, 

I swayed my body along to the music coming from the large speakers at the edge of the stage. Bastille were playing Durban Skies and I closed my eyes to enjoy the beautiful sounds.  

You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve  And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground  Dig them up; let's finish what we've started  Dig them up, so nothing's left untouched 

I opened my eyes slowly as the song ended and the lead singer, Dan, started to talk to the audience. „Are you stoned?” Sebastian asked, standing right next to me, looking into my eyes carefully. 

„What?” I narrowed my eyebrows. „Of course not.” 

He tilted his head to the side, not letting it go. Well, he did let go, but just for another few songs, until the band left the stage. „So, what’s up? Why are you being so weird today?” 

I sighed. „It's nothing, I guess is just wasn’t in the mood today.” 

Seb stopped. „Bullshit,” he said. „You had an orgasm, as Chris put it, when you found out that I had tickets to see Bastille.” 

I flinched a bit at the mention of Chris. „Let it go, Seba.” 

„Oh my God, is it Chris?” he asked. „Have you guys been fighting? I mean it’s none of my business, but you’re both my friends and...” 

„We're not fighting, Seb,” I interrupted him. „We broke up.” 

Sebastian didn’t say anything and followed me, when I moved to start walking back to my car. I saw that he really wanted to ask, but didn’t know if he should. 

“It happened two months ago,” I started as I settled in the driver's seat. “We had a fight and went our separate ways.” 

“But why? You were so good together.” He shrugged, looking out the front window, as if searching for an answer. 

“Chris is looking for a wife,” I stated. “and I’m just looking for a boyfriend.” 

It had been a quiet night. Chris had seen my interview promoting a movie I’ve just filmed. It’s about a woman in her early twenties who gets pregnant and has an abortion, because the father of the baby isn’t willing to help her. After he finds out, he sues her, seeing this as an opportunity to get money. 

In the interview, asked about my opinion on abortion, I said: “Well, I wouldn’t let myself get pregnant, if I didn’t actually want it to happen. But shit happens, you know? Pregnancy is a big deal and anyone who’s trying to restrain access to abortion is a terrorist. People think that it’s so easy, that it’s such an easy decision – it’s not. Which is why we need sex education, that’s what prevents abortion, not making it illegal.  

And then, asked if I see myself settling down is the nearest future, I said: “Not for a long time, no. Having a family is a huge deal, I don’t feel like I'm ready for it.” 

Chris didn’t like that. Not the idea of someone not wanting to settle down, of course. The idea of me, his girlfriend, not wanting to settle down right now. 

He come up to me and sat on the couch next to me. “What did you mean by that?” 

And that was the conversation I had feared. At more than 6 months of being together, Chris was comfortable enough to ask me about the possibility of being married and having children together. I still hadn’t been ready to talk about it, although I did think about it constantly.  

“Chris, I’m 22,” I said. “I might want to have children in the future, but it’s definitely not now.” 

“And I’m 33.” he stated. “And, uh, I think I’d prefer it to happen in a nearer future.” 

In this very moment, I knew it was possibly the end of our relationship. Neither of us was going to give up on our needs. It was basically the moment, when we finally stopped lying to each other. 

“Chris, I definitely won’t have kids before I’m 25. It might be 25 or 30. I can’t tell you that right now.” 

“Well, I’m not getting any younger...” he sighed, sensing the same thing as me. 

The whole conversation had been very awkward. We didn’t know what to say, because we were faced with an obvious thing we should’ve discussed months ago.  

“Me neither.” I whispered, looking at the floor. 

The conversation had escalated to a fight very quickly, though. It was a fight between two people who wanted to be together, but had non-negotiable terms.  

“Are you really that afraid of commitment? You know I’m committed and responsible, you say you love me and yet you still can’t see yourself having a family with me in like 2 or 3 years!?”  

By now, Chris was standing a few feet from the sofa. “I never said that! I only said that I cannot specify when I will definitely be ready to do that! It’s a big decision and I don’t want to regret it.” I explained, trying to be as calm as possible. The truth was, I was on the verge of tears. 

“For me, it sounds like you don’t trust me,” he shrugged. “It feels like we’re wasting each other’s time.” 

I raised my eyebrows. Is he being serious right now? “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You should have started our first conversation with ‘Hey, just curious, you wanna have a kid real soon?’ You wouldn't have to waste your time on me.” I yelled. 

“You know very fucking well, that it's not what I meant.” He hissed. “But, yeah, we should've had that talk months ago. At least your commitment issues would've came out earlier.” 

That was enough for me. From that moment I just yelled and yelled into his face about how he’s paranoid about anyone finding out too much about us, like he’s ashamed of me. About how he doesn’t want to confirm our relationship to the media, because he’s the one with commitment issues. And how he expects me to understand that he’s getting older and doesn’t want his children to be born too late, but at the same time doesn’t respect my choice of not having them until I’m at a certain point in my life. 

And that was the end. 

“I can’t believe it happened 2 months ago,” Sebastian said in disbelief. “I can’t believe he would act like that.”  

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either.” I scratched the back of my head. “But that’s finished.” 

I was sure that Sebastian wouldn’t just leave this matter. Too much of his party humor relayed on Chris' and mine relationship. I drove him back home and then back to mine.  

The only thing keeping me going was work. I’ve had a busy couple of weeks and it’s been keeping my mind off the ugly break up. Tomorrow, I’m renewing my contract with Jaguar at their dealership in New York and giving some interviews afterwards. Next week, I’m flying back to the UK to film Top Gear. Thankfully, I hadn’t had to fly to LA for the last 2 months and it’s been refreshing.  

The next day I woke up just in time to start preparing for my meetings. I had started to spend more and more time in bed, as if I were in the first stages of depression. My period didn’t help either. Thankfully, Hannah was always beside me and my friends were only one phone call away. I still had some trouble sharing stuff like that with my family, but it was still alright between us.  

The car drove me to the Jaguar dealership in Manhattan, where I saw photographers waiting for me, as it was a media event. I went inside to greet the owner, who proceeded to show me some of their newest models. Later, I signed a promotion deal stating that I would become an ambassador for Jaguar. They also “premiered” a commercial starring Tom Hiddleston and I.  

I took some pictures next to the cars, had a few short interviews talking about the cars, my preferences in cars and if I’m actually interested. “I grew up with two older brothers, so I don’t think I ever even expressed any interest in tea parties or dolls. They made me into an actual tomboy. My mom tried making me wear those cute dresses and I liked them, but always ended up coming back all dirty. I like cars very much, I know a lot about them, so I’m incredibly happy to be partnering with a company that is one of the best in the business.” 

It was my time to leave, as I had a few more things to do. On my way back to the car, I found that the  crowd outside had doubled at least. “Emilia, have you seen Chris’ new photos with Stella?” 

“Are you guys off?” 

“Is he cheating on you?”  

I was a little bit distraught when I heard the first question. My heart sunk a little bit. It took me no time to find my phone, once the car door was closed. 

I googled “Chris Evans” and felt years pool in my eyes. 

What’s going on? Chris Evans was spotted out with his ex, Stella Smith. The pair have a rich history as an on and off couple. This shouldn’t be a surprise, right? It is, because the Captain America actor has been in a relationship with his Avengers co-star and gorgeous British actress, Emilia Dawson, since earlier this year and there have been no rumors of a break up. 

Looking at this now, we do have to admit that Mr. Evans seems to have a pretty defined type. Kelly and Dawson do seem to look alike these days. 

I looked at the photo of them walking their dogs and suddenly, I felt like cancelling all my plans. Until now, I still felt like our break up was just a temporary thing and we would find our way back to each other. The feeling of being replaced by just “another model” of me was making me nauseous.  

I tried to pull myself together and make sure I looked as best as I could, when I walked into the studio. The make up artist has worked with me on numerous occasions and I saw that she wanted to ask me, but she never did. She did a great job giving my red eyes though. 

It was a Vogue cover photo shoot, so I tried to switch my emotions off for the time being and do my best while I was there. 

Hannah joined me when the photo shoot had already started and she could tell I knew. Normally, she would ask the photographer to cut the shoot short, but it’s not a thing you can do when it’s Vogue and Mario Testino.  

By the time we were actually finished, I was pretty sure, I only wanted to bury myself under my bedsheets. Working on a photo shoot gave me too many opportunities for my mind to just wander off to places I didn’t want it to go to. I didn’t even ask them to remove my make up, because I desperately needed to go home.  

“Em, I’m pretty sure it’s nothing,” Hannah assured me on our way to the car. “They’re probably just friends. And she’s not very busy, so maybe she was the only one he had.” 

“They’re not friends. Things ended badly between them,” I snapped. “Can you get me an appointment at a hair-dressers today?” I asked. 

Hannah raised her eyebrow and lifted her phone immediately. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

Three hours later, I was off the chair at a salon, sporting a new haircut – blonde, shoulder length hair styled into beautiful waves. To be honest, that was incredibly impulsive of me. And stupid, probably. The only reason I did that was to make sure I’m not known as her doppelganger. That’s how salty I am. 

That didn’t help me, still. She’s older, doesn’t work as much as I do and they’ve known each other for years. They could be trying to get back together. I mean, she could be willing to give Chris what he wants, without making him wait. Hair colour isn’t going to change anything.  

As I was getting deeper and deeper into assumptions, I had already ordered my food for the evening. I asked the driver to let me out a little bit further away from my building, because I wanted some air. It was dark already and the streets seemed to me more quiet than usual, so it was a perfect moment for a short walk. 

When I reached the reception of my building, the man behind the counter called me. “Ms. Dawson!” 

I turned to face him. “Yes?” 

“There’s something for you.” He barely managed to put a huge bouquet on the counter. I noticed a variety of flowers, many of which I couldn’t even name. “I’ll bring it upstairs for you.”  

The receptionist set the bouquet on my kitchen island and once I was alone, I moved it to the middle. As it was so big, it was in a decorative wooden box. There was an envelope on the side. I saw “Emilia" written on it and immediately knew who it was from.  

Emilia, 

I am so sorry it took me such a long time to do this. I think you can imagine how many drafts I’ve created for this letter. At least I hope you can. 

I had started to regret everything I said the moment you left my house. Or the moment you went to sleep to the guest bedroom, before the morning you left. I wish I had just shut my mouth, because this last month (I really have been writing this for a long time) has been simply one of the most awful periods of my life (it’s easily in TOP3).  

I don’t want to get into details here, because that would be just another time when I’m talking and you have to listen to my bullshit. I only want you to know I sincerely apologize for how insensitive I was, how I refused to look at your point of view. I cannot believe that it took me so much time to remember that 11 years ago, having a family wasn’t my priority either.  

I’ll be in New York tomorrow afternoon and I would love to see you. Let’s meet at 7pm in Central Park near the bench where you spilled a chocolate milkshake on your white pants (trousers). If you want to meet, please just text me “OK” and I will be there.  

I love you, 

Chris.  

I saw that different paragraphs were written with different pens, which meant didn’t write this letter during one sit-down. I looked all the way down to see a post scriptum.  

PS. I’ve just noticed the pictures paps took of me yesterday. How cliché will it be if I say that it wasn’t what it looked like? 

I grabbed my phone immediately, but then had to stop myself for a moment. Should I?  

On one hand, a meeting means nothing. I don’t have to go back to him immediately. Or go back to him at all. On the other hand, I might just want to drop to my knees in front of him the moment I see him. 

“Ok.” I texted.  

“You’re such a stupid weak bitch.” I whispered to myself.  

My food care just in time for it to stop overthinking and imagining how tomorrow’s gonna end. I played some comedy shows and tried to just forget about everything. It really helped. 

The next day I didn’t have to go out anywhere. It was the day I wanted to spend on memorizing my lines and reading scripts for new potential projects. But was I able to focus on anything? Of course not. 

I kept thinking how should I act around Chris or what should I tell him.  

What if he just wants to apologize and leave? What if he decided that there’s too many differences between us? I mean, should I just let him put babies in me or what? 

I wrapped my coat tight around myself as I crossed the road to enter Central Park. The spot we were supposed to meet at wasn’t far from the gate I was entering through, so I tried not to look too needy or ready for reconciliation. 

I was a little bit of a petty bitch. I made myself look more than presentable, in case things didn’t go well. I needed him to know when he was missing. And that thing he was missing was a girl hopelessly in love with him, stopping herself from just jumping into his arms and kissing life out of him. 

I turned into the next alley and there he was. He was wearing a leather jacket with dark jeans and a baseball cap. Also, he brought Dodger with him. At least I can always say that I’m only crying because I’ve missed Dodger. 

Chris was sitting, but when he noticed (and recognized) me, he stood up immediately. “Hey,” he took the NASA cap off as I approached him. “Wow, I barely recognized you, Emily...” He said. 

“Um, hi.” I said, kneeling down to greet Dodger, who seemed to be very excited to see me. 

“I mean, you look great, the colour suits you... Anyway, thank you for agreeing to see me,” Chris said, sitting back down on the bench. I sat next to him, keeping my distance. Once he was sure it was me, Dodger put his head on my lap expecting me to scratch him behind his ears. “I know it must’ve been a tough decision after what I said.” 

“We both said things we shouldn’t have said.” I sighed, looking up from Dodger to Chris.  

There was a moment of silence between us. We both wanted to say something, but were too afraid. The good thing was, I think we were on the same page. We both wanted to get back together.  

“I’ll start,” Chris mumbled. “The last few weeks have been a torture. Not just because we broke up, but how we broke up. I hated the fact that I said some stupid, demanding things and then had no courage to reach out and apologize. I acted like a selfish idiot and the fact that I said things that hurt you has been keeping me up at night.”  

“Chris, we both said things we didn’t mean,” I said. “We’re in different phases and it will cause conflicts. The only solution for that is finding other…” 

“I don’t want anyone else.” He stated firmly. “I… I’m guessing you saw the photos of me with Stella. You know we had a very ugly break up. She called me asking to meet and fix this. I’m on good terms with all of my exes. I thought that maybe, if I talk to her, maybe it’ll help me to be a better partner to you. She actually wanted to get back together when she found out about us, but it wasn’t something I was interested in.” He paused for a moment. “Anyway, I thought about what you said and what I said. I was being my most selfish self in years. I knew how old you were when we met and I chose to just hope that your goals will meet mine. I just feel like… I hope it doesn’t make it sound trivial, but I feel like you tick all the boxes and I just don’t want to lose you…” 

That was really all I needed to just run back into Chris’ arms. I mean, that’s all I’ve been thinking about since I saw him. “Chris, let me tell you something now,” I tucked some loose hair behind my ear. “I overreacted. I had been afraid of that topic since the day we met and the moment we started talking about it, I panicked. To be honest, I’ve always said that if I even choose to be a wife and a mother, it’ll be before I’m 30.” I explained, noticing a faint smile on Chris’ face. “And I hope it’s with you because I know you’re going to be an amazing father and husband.” I reached out with my hand to touch his. 

He looked down at our intertwined fingers and smiled. “So are we on again? Because my mom’s going to kill me if we aren’t.” 

I smirked. “I think we might be, but there’s still some less important stuff we need to discuss.”  

Chris nodded. “I know, I know. But it’s a good start.”  

I got even closer to Chris and nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck. I inhaled his scent lightly and felt secure for the first time in weeks. “I’ve missed you so much, Evans.” 

Chris wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me closer to him. “Let's go. Dodger is getting cold and it’s getting too dark here for me to look at you.” 

We chose to go back to Chris' hotel because he had Dodger's food there. We agreed I’d spend the night there and then we’d move to mine.  

Chris was taking a shower and I was just scrolling through my Instagram feed, when his phone ringed. It was right next to me on the bed, so I saw that the photo of me, sleeping with Dodger by my side was still his background. I smiled at it, but then got the stupid idea of going through Chris' phone.  

No. No. No. No. “Em, can you check who texted me?”  

I sighed and unlocked his phone (we know each other's codes). “It's Scott. He’s asking how it went.” 

“Oh, uh, he means our meeting. So if you could just text him that we’re fine now.” Chris shouted back, so I took a photo of myself with my thumb up and a smile and sent it to him. Unfortunately, I am a stupid idiot, so right after that I checked Chris’ inbox to find text exchange with Stella from 2 days ago. There was nothing he hadn’t told me about, which made me feel way worse about myself.  

“My mom was actually very mad at me for our break up,” Chris said as he left the bathroom in a towel around his waist. “She yelled at me and stuff.” 

“I didn’t even tell my parents. My mum would probably freak out that it’s their fault, so I decided to wait to see if it’s... definite.” 

Chris sat next to me, I laid across the bed so my head was on his lap. He put his hand on my cheek and stroked the flushed skin delicately. “I’m glad it’s not definite.” 

I looked into his eyes for a moment. He was smiling so brightly; my heart was melting. “Chris, I checked your texts with Stella just a moment ago, I’m sorry.” 

I was actually expecting him to be at least a little bit mad. “I’m not surprised,” he shrugged. “I mean, I did meet up with her 2 days before I came up here to ask you for forgiveness.” 

“Yeah, but you explained and I should’ve believed you. And I’m not saying I didn’t, but I just saw the thread and... And by the way, I dyed my hair yesterday after seeing your photos with her and being compared to her.” 

Chris’ eyes went wide open. “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“I know, it was really stupid.” I sighed. “I hated the idea of you being attracted to me only because I look like your ex.” 

Chris combed my hair with his fingers delicately. “Please, stop. I love YOU, not your hair or whatever,"  Chris leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Let’s just forget about all of this and everything else tonight, ok?” He moved to my nose and then my lips.  

I forgot how much I loved the feeling of his lips on mine. Especially now that he was growing his beard back. I love that rough sensation against my cheek every now and then.  

I reached out with my hand to tangle my fingers into Chris' hair. He bit my lower lip delicately as his hand travelled to my neck. “I’ve missed your soft skin, miss.” He whispered against my lips. “And you always smell like strawberries, I’ve missed that in bed.” 

I smiled and licked his upper lip playfully. “I missed your dog.” 

Chris grinned and looked around the room. “Well, he seems to be asleep in the living room, so how about we do some catching up?” he moved his finger slowly across my collarbone, but I grabbed it and intertwined our fingers. 

“Someone seems to have forgotten what time of the month it is.”  

He seemed to be confused for a moment and then realized what I was talking about. “Ohh, right,” he sighed. “Hot chocolate, then?” 

I got off his lap and walked up to my handbag. “I'll go take a shower. Can you give me like a shirt or something?” 

“Yeah, I’ll leave it on the bed.” Chris nodded and reached for his phone. 

I went into the bathroom. Since the first night I spent with Chris, I’ve been carrying spare underwear in case of such emergency. I took a quick hot shower, pulled on the underwear and quickly left the steamy bathroom so I could jump right under the covers. To be honest, Chris was incredibly pleased with me being topless in bed, but once there, I grabbed his shirt and put it on. 

“Aw, why won’t you sleep without it.” He moaned. 

“It’s not that comfortable when you actually have boobs.” I snuggled into his hot (literally) chest and hid myself under the covers. “This is a really nice hotel, why is it so cold in here?” I whispered. 

“It's not, you just take insanely hot showers.” Chris lowered himself to face me and pulled me against him. “Now I can finally sleep in peace.” 

The next morning I woke up with my cheek pressed against Chris' naked back. I could hear he was talking to someone on the phone, trying to be really quiet. 

“... I mean, we did just get back together, Ma. I have to give her some space.” He whispered. “I can’t just say that were going to Boston for Thanksgiving...” 

“Get me the Lisa Lasagne and I’m in.” I murmured against his skin before kissing it. 

“Ok, she said yes.” Chris chuckled and listened to Lisa speak for a moment. “Mom wants to talk to you...” he handed me the phone over his shoulder. 

I took it and turned to lay on my back. “Hey, Lisa.”  

“Emilia, you have no idea how glad I am to hear your voice! Your break up had an awful impact on Christopher.” She started. “Anyway, so are you coming to Boston for Thanksgiving? I know you don’t celebrate it back home, so I though you could spend it with us.” 

“I’d love to, very much. I’m looking forward to all of the delicious food you will make.” I said as Chris wrapped himself around my waist.  

“I’ll definitely make more of that lasagne you like so much.” She assured me. “I’ll let you two spend some time alone, now that you’re back together. See you in a few weeks!” 

“Bye!” I said and hung up. Chris was already peppering my lower stomach with delicate kisses. I tangled my fingers into his hair to scratch his head. “You won’t give up, right?” 

He looked up at me while slowly lifting my (his) shirt. “I just can’t help myself.” He answered,  taking my nipple between his teeth and pulling lightly. “I mean, people have period sex.” 

He moved up to nibble on my neck and I acted my back a little at the sensation. “I’m off the pill.” I said. “I suppose you don’t have a condom.” 

Chris fell back onto the bed next to me and sighed. “We should get going then, I’m really close to dying from blue balls.”  

Once we were out, I held on to Chris' arm as we walked back to my flat and holding Dodger's lead. Chris decided to reschedule some of his meetings for today, so he wanted to walk me back and leave his stuff. 

“Now that we're back on, how do you feel about me posting stuff about us on Instagram?” I asked. “I mean, like, sometimes, not all the time.” 

He sighed. “Yeah, but not too much, you know I like to keep it all low-key.” 

When we reached my building, Chris left his baggage in my bedroom and walked up to me. I was spread out on the sofa, waiting for my prince Charming to pay attention to me. “I should be back in two hours and then we can do whatever you want, alright?”  

I nodded as Chris' hand found my chin to keep me in place while he bent down to kiss me. It was slow and sensual. I could barely hold back a moan. “Don’t kiss me like that, because I won’t let you out.” I murmured.  

"I won't be long, baby girl," he grinned. "Take a nap, choose a movie, I'll buy all the chocolate snacks I can find on the way, alright?" 

"God, Christopher." 

@daybreak96 @coffeebooksandfandom @smilexcaptainx @betinalunardi @rollinsuh @lily2089@stella2445 @hy-pocrite @l0rd-disick @beholdoritou @klaussstilinski@achishisha@givenchymercury @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @henry-cavill-gossip-girl @rock-titties @bombsandsparkles @marvel-fan23 @cap-just-said-language @blackaestheticislife @justsomemarvelspam @nerdchester17 @shyofaspark @cssrogersse@crispyearthquakezombie@ultragalaxy @bit-of-a-timelord @kingofallthingsz @morguleth@calicokitkat @areelphony@gemgemswift @donut-crazs @dontchawishyouknewhowtosalsa@kandomeresbitch @deafeningpsychicpandahands @severely-theoretic @chmedic @patzammit@winterssoliderss @metalarmlover @saturnki @coolkimchijoy16 @sammyjammy92 @coolkimchijoy16

[netflixandchilis]

Weekly Fic Rec (6/8/19)

*this does not necessarily mean fics posted this week but fics I've read this week

Zimbits

Brunch is (entire series) E 100k

Shitty and Lardo are overly-invested and creative friends. Jack and Bitty are just trying to figure out what's in the box.

Ill Equipped E 70k

Jack's first mistake was getting drunk in a salsa club with Kent Parson. Or, the accidental Vegas married AU no one asked for.

And you may say to yourself, my god, what have I done? E 39k

The last thing Jack Zimmermann remembers saying to Eric Bittle is "lucky shot." That doesn’t explain, at all, why he just woke up in Bittle’s bed.A companion piece -- this time it's Jack's turn to get a peek at his future -- to And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here? M 38k

 Bitty goes to bed after his "lucky shot" having made a decision. When he wakes up he ... is not where he expected to be. He has a career, and a baby, and -- this is the biggest surprise of all -- a husband who looks a lot like Jack Zimmermann.  

Ethics of Journalism  T 12k

When Dan Erikson is assigned to write an article about Jack Zimmermann's years in college, he thinks he knows what he's getting into. 

Then he meets Professor Simpson, Jack's photography professor. 

[also known as: Good Guy Reporter Dan Erikson]

He’s a Baker NR 5k

Jack loves his parents a lot - and they just want him to be happy. So, in order to stop them from worrying, he invents a perfect boyfriend. A man who couldn't possibly exist.

the slow pace of geologic time T 4k

Jack looks at her and then puts her luggage down and leans in, grabs her into a full-body hug, right there on the sidewalk, holding her so close. She can’t remember when he last hugged her this hard. “He told his parents. About being gay. About us,” he says into her shoulder. “They were awful.”

Call Me, Maybe G 3k

Based on a tumblr prompt in which Eric Bittle becomes a famous competitive figure skater whom Jack Zimmermann develops a celebrity crush on.

Jack isn't interested in a Falconers' PR opportunity to be on a reality show ... until he finds out who he'd appearing with.

If Pies Could Talk E 3k

Jack wants to ask Bitty something but he can't find the words. If pies could talk, they'd call him a lovable failboat.

#pickericbittleup G 1k

Everyone has an opinion about Jack Zimmerman figure skating with another man on television. Tater records his reaction in a Falconers' publicity video. 

(Companion Piece to Call, Me Maybe)

Each Time You Close Your Eyes T 1k

“Do you talk in your sleep?” Jack asks over frittata the next morning. Bitty’s cheeks pink up and his eyes get huge. “Oh lord, did I?” “I think so, Bits. You tried to tell me something about pineapples at three a.m.”

Casual Gaming E <1k

Can Bitty distract Jack from his phone?

Harringrove

Give In To Him  (entire series) E 13k

Follows Billy and Steve’s relationship development from roommates to more...

Hargrove T 13k

“Chief?”

“Yeah?” Hopper responded. It was barely eight o’clock; he’d just made it to the office.

“Principal Wallace needs you down at the high school. The Hargrove kid’s sleeping in his car again, and they can’t get him to wake up.”

Jim Hopper Always Knows T 2k

Four times Hopper is pretty sure Billy and Steve are a thing, and one time he's DEFINITELY sure. aka: how Hopper figured out Steve and Billy were together 

Parkner

PROOF SPIDER-MAN LOVES CLICKBAIT WIP G 60k

When Peter Parker gets a job working at Buzzfeed there's really only one subject he can write about: superheroes. And what superhero does he know better than everyone's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?

What he didn't expect was that everyone would think Peter's new obsession with the hero would be interpreted quite like That.

The Corruption of Peter Parker, by Harley Keener E 3k

Harley had meant to intimidate Tony’s intern -that’s the only reason he wore his nice jeans with the stupid maroon shirt that brought out his eyes. He even gelled his hair, for fucksake. Except, the moment he actually saw Peter Parker, baby blue sweater layered over a button up, jeans ripped where the extra fabric dragged as he walked, he threw that plan out the window. OrHarley really wants to fuck Peter so hard that he’s crying for it. He settles for wooing the fuck out of him instead, and maybe making Peter cry when the younger begs him for it.

Baby, Look What You've Done To Me 

T 1kHarley was set in his mind. He wouldn't be pursuing anything with Peter. Yeah, maybe some mildly flirting here and there that honestly went over Peter's head because he was too shy and innocent for his own good, but that was about it.Until Harley saw Peter wearing one of his sweaters that was basically swallowing Peter's small frame.Or: Peter wears Harley's sweater and he loses it.

Broken Promises and Needy Omegas

E 1k

Afterwords, when Harley was pressed up against the omega’s back, knot stuck deep as Peter purred and preened, the alpha sighed as he realized he had backed out of his promise, yet again. Peter was content now, but the shitstorm was coming. OrHarley gets really overwhelmed when Peter tries to ride him. Also, Tony wishes he could bleach his brain.

Stucky

Bucky Barnes and His 1001 Fetishes (or at least eight of them) WIP E 60k

Bucky Barnes is an out and proud, completely unashamed kinkster of epic proportions. From panties to gags to weird, alien dick sex toys--he's game for it all.He's

definitely

game for raining down kinky fiery hell on his new crush: Professor Steve Rogers.

A History of Birds NR 2k

"You look like him," Bucky says. No prompting, no nothing. He just speaks, like this is a thing he does.

"What?" Steve asks. He didn’t really hear it, too stunned by the fact that words were coming out of Bucky’s mouth to understand their meaning.

"You look like him. So did Pierce." His voice is soft, gravelly from disuse. "Is that why they picked you?"

Steve’s heart plunges like an elevator with the cables cut. “Buck, it is me.”

The hard line of Bucky’s mouth softens just a little. “Sure,” he says.

Winterspider? (idk the ship name)

just in case you fall in love with that boy in your chemistry class

WIP E 20k

A collection of mostly unrelated drabbles and blurbs in a Peter Parker/Bucky Barnes high school au. Each chapter is an independent fic/concept, chapters labeled and all contain individual summaries, ratings, + warnings/notes. 

I write 'em as they come. I've got lots planned, but there's no main plot or end goal here, just a relatively non-chronological compilation of generally unconnected, short fics and headcanons. Tags will be updated as I go. Welcome to my trash bin, let's get fucked

**also, its an unpopular ship but if anybody has any prompts that'd be sick

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 34

Chapter Summary - As Christmas approaches, Tom readies to leave for his mother's leaving Alexianna feeling a little upset. But he has left a surprise for her.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @theoneanna​​

Request if you wish to be tagged

Alexianna sighed sadly as she looked at the tree that was set up in her living room.

It had been a fortnight since they moved in, and already, she could see the difference it had made in their lives. Lily had blossomed with her new space and her individuality being allowed be expressed in her far larger room. Even her teacher had commented that the already bright and happy young girl was flourishing all the more after their move, much to Alexianna and indeed Tom’s pride.

For Alexianna, she felt so much better after the initial night or two without her daughter in her room. Tom had insisted that after staying the first night in the new house with them, he give them a day or two to get settled, which was indeed something they needed, but it meant Alexianna having to get used to a bed by herself. Since then, Tom had stayed twice, both times the pair locked the bedroom door and allowed themselves some privacy for whatever they chose to do. It improved their relationship also, having Alexianna not feel as though they had to go to Tom’s all the time, in fact, since then, they had not been to Tom’s as both adults agreed that with the new space for themselves and indeed Lily, it made life easier at their home, since everything that could be needed for the four-year-old was there.

But now Christmas was coming, and Tom was helping her hide the presents for Lily that needed to be ready since they had been kept at his, but he was now heading to his mother’s for the holiday.

Alexianna was slightly hurt by it. It was not that she expected to have him stay away from his family, of course, she knew he would go home to his mum, but the severe lack of discussion as to when he would come back hurt her slightly. All he said was “Whenever suits you” with a large smile on his face caused her to wonder if he was trying to get away without giving her an answer because he simply did not want to be dealing with her.

With a kiss and an insistence that he would be back soon, Tom left for his mothers, but not without telling Alexianna that there would be a package waiting for her later, and to enjoy it. Still hurt that he was leaving and was not saying whether or not he would be back before New Years, she set off to collect Lily for school, another thing that hurt her feelings, she thought he would at least say a proper goodbye to Lily before going.

She continued to think about it, allowing it fester more and more as she went to collect Lily. When she got back to her apartment, there was indeed a large present near the tree, too large, if anything.

‘Mommy?’

Alexianna walked over and pulled at the tag. ‘I have no...OH MY GOD!’ When a person came into view, she shrieked.

‘Surprise!’

‘You….evil….sadistic….’ Alexianna clutched her chest, attempting not to swear violently.

‘’Uncle Daniel!!!’ Lily rushed over to her uncle, who cuddled her close. ‘I missed you so much.’

‘I missed you too my Lily-Pad.’ He cuddled her into him tightly before looking at his sister. ‘Are you okay?’

‘How did you get in?’

‘Tom.’

‘What?’

‘He let me in and got a key cut for me so I could be here when you came back.’

‘But, he left for Suffolk.’

‘Yes, after he collected me from Stansted, he left about fifteen minutes ago, he needed to collect his sister and her family to drop them to Heathrow before heading there.’

‘So he…How long are you here?’

‘Christmas, all of it.’

Alexianna’s eyes widened. ‘What?’

‘If you don’t mind, of course, I thought we could...Al? Hey, are you okay?’ He went over to his sister, who was crying. ‘I don’t have to…’

‘You want to be here, with us?’

‘I...Al, I have never missed Christmas with the two of you.’

‘But...with everything…’

‘No, Al. Look, I know I have not been here a lot, with work and with Anna, but you and Lily, you are my family. And I cannot wait for you to meet her, I want you to like her, but this...even she insists I need to be here with you both at this time of the year.’ Daniel hugged her close, noting how tight she was holding onto him. ‘Al, talk to me.’

‘I...I thought we were going to be alone.’

‘No, never. I could see it in Tom’s face, he is in two minds about going to his Mum’s. I bet if I said I was not coming, he would be here.’

‘How did he know?’

‘I rang you one day and he answered, so we got talking and I said how I wanted to surprise you, so we planned around that.’

‘He knew all along?’

‘Yes.’

‘The prick said nothing.’

‘Language Mommy. And stop hogging Uncle Daniel.’ Lily pushed her out of the way so she could get to her uncle.

Daniel smiled and lifted her up. ‘I hear you have a cool new room.’

‘It is so cool, did you see it?’

‘No, I wanted you to show me.’

Lily jumped up and down in his arms. ‘Come on, I’ll show you now.’ She slid to the floor and dragged her uncle to the stairs.

Alexianna took out her phone and rang Tom, knowing he would not answer. Sure enough, his answering machine came on. ‘Hey, I nearly had a heart attack, I hope you’re happy.’ She half laughed. ‘Listen, I...I…’ She stopped. Alexianna wanted nothing more than to tell him how she felt, but she was scared of making herself seem too needy. She wanted to tell him that she wanted nothing more than to spend New Years with him, sitting on her sofa or just going to dinner, if he wasn’t busy, of course. But she couldn’t. She cursed that part of her mind that controlled her thoughts, the ones that struck fear into her and made her unable to voice her feelings. ‘I hope you have a good time at Christmas, bye.’ She hung up and cursed herself again.

*

‘You look different.’ Alexianna turned to see Daniel studying her carefully.

‘How so?’

‘Just...there’s something new about you. You look better than I ever saw you before.’

‘I have never been so…..it’s not even happy, because it goes deeper than that. I feel so much like….’

‘The old you?’

‘I think so, yeah. I mean, it is tiring as hell and hard, I am not going to pretend it’s not. I sometimes get only four hours sleep, but I am working on something, and Dan, it is so much more than I thought it would be. I love it.’

‘Brilliant.’

‘And college is hard, paperwork and study are exhausting, and Lily….she is taking up so much time with school and making sure she is doing okay, but I love it, more than I thought possible.’

‘That makes me so happy to hear.’ Daniel hugged his sister again. ‘And Tom?’

‘It is not always easy. He has work stuff and going out with him is hard sometimes, but...when we are sitting here, just reading, watching tv or talking, I feel so...content does not seem right, but it is the closest that comes to mind.’

‘You are quite alike, away from his job.’

‘That is Tom Hiddleston, the actor, but Tom, the guy from two streets away that leans against the counter there,’ She pointed to Tom’s usual spot. ‘With his cup of tea and talking to me about the weird guy that was tutting at the newspaper as he got the tube out from a meeting, that guy I think, is similar to how I enjoy being.’

‘You should always surround yourself with people similar to how you want to be.’ Daniel commented. ‘This place is incredible, Al.’

Alexianna looked around. ‘So much so. It just...It has added so much to my happiness. A clean and good home for Lily.’

‘She has brightened too.’ Daniel noted.

‘A proper home environment will do that to a little girl.’

‘With a Mommy and Daddy.’ Alexianna stared at him. ‘She and I were talking earlier, she is under a very clear impression that Tom is her father.’

‘Oh Jesus, not again. We already sat her down with this.’

‘Yes, and explained she is not the man that made her with you, she told me.’

‘Then why is she saying otherwise to you?’

‘Because she knows her friend Sadie has a dad just like that.’

‘She wants him to be her dad so much.’

‘What is bad about that?’ Alexianna gave her brother a look. ‘No really, Al, what is wrong with it?’

‘It’s not true.’

‘He reads to her, looks after her well being, is a father figure in her life, why fight it?’

‘He’s only been here six months.’

‘And? That’s double the time with the pop princess at least. At least you two have a relationship, there is mutual respect.’

‘Dan…’

‘Anna has her new album, she shits all over him. I heard the lyrics myself.’

‘I don’t know or care if I am honest. I know he was annoyed and hurt when it came out since he had been respectful of how he spoke of her, but we don’t talk about it, same as Jonathon, it’s nothing to talk about. It is only something that will upset and bother.’

‘Yes, well, you’re better that way. Any more from him?’ Alexianna shook her head. ‘Good.’

‘I cannot believe, after everything, we are free.’

‘You deserve it.’ Daniel commented. ‘Though, there is something else I need to ask.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Lily mentioned a baby brother.’

‘Oh for fuck sake.’ Alexianna growled in frustration. ‘There are no babies. I am nowhere near able for one right now.’

‘That’s a slight change from “Never again”, what about in the future?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Would you have another, with him?’

‘I don’t know. I am not there now, so I cannot answer that.’

‘But you might?’

‘I am thirty-one, Daniel, I am not jinxing myself either way.’ She insisted. ‘I don’t ask you about yours and Anna’s plans to have any kids.’

‘We'll see, we’re not there yet.’ Alexianna looked at him. ‘Well, it’s not like we have only today to think about it.’ She said nothing in return.

* Tom took the phone down from his ear, having listened to Alexianna’s message a few times. At first, he was elated, she sounded so happy, but the second part of her message told him that something was bothering her. He could hear her attempts to force the words from her mouth as she spoke but to no avail. Part of him wished he had been face to face with her to try and urge her to say whatever it was that was bothering her. He hoped she would want him back between Christmas and New Years for a few days together over the holidays.

[thelamppoststation]

Future’s Past by TheLampPost

In 2008, a year after James managed to get off that godforsaken rock, he receives a visit from a young woman with blue eyes and blonde hair. She hands him a locket and a letter, then demands answers to questions that he didn't even know existed. Post season 6 (Suliet) - This story is also partly set during the DHARMA days.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: Wonder                                                    

              DHARMA Initiative: Motor Pool, July 1975            

"I'm pretty sure it's the engine. It's been giving me trouble for the past week and a half. There's this odd ticking sound," Phil jerked his index-finger back and forth, "that just won't let up."

"Uhu."

"I'm pretty sure I saw some smoke in my rear-view the other day as well."

"Uhu."

"And the backlight is busted."

"Uhu."

"Look, I would have brought it in sooner, but you know how LaFleur gets."

Danny snorted.

"I do, do I?"

"He's been up my ass all week about clocking in late. I told him, 'listen, I can't help it, sleep paralysis is a real thing, you know?' But he's just not been in a very sympathetic mood, lately."

"Uhu."

Danny stepped around back and unlocked the latch on the blue VW T2. He groaned, scratched the back of his head, reaching for a non-existing itch that was easier to define than the inside of this particular engine. That was a lie. He understood perfectly well. Trouble was, he didn't care to understand. Good American vans were easy to come by nowadays. In fact, just the other day he heard Mitchell talk about the latest Chevrolets, how they're taking the market by storm, and yet folks here imported German vans. German. Vans. It was irritating, not up to par, and he should have objected to this detail when they first assigned it to him. After all, his skill lay in engineering, not fixing Nazi cars.

He closed the latch and sighed; Phil was still babbling away in his left ear, something about sleep apnoea and narcolepsy. Where did the Initiative find this guy, anyway?

"I'll have Juliet take a look at it."

"Juliet?"

Phil's thick brows shot up, not quite disappearing beneath his thinning hairline.

"She's s'posed to start her shift at one."

"Juliet Carlson?"

"Uhu."

"You hiring women these days?"

Danny shrugged.

"Many of them emancipated ones want to grease up, try out some real jobs; I ain't complaining, the view's been much improved since she started tinkering away," he winked and motioned for Phil to step closer. "Nimble fingers, that one's got," Phil's eyes widened and Danny playfully punched him in the arm.

"You and her?"

"Ha! I wish. Pretty sure she's got a thing for your boss."

"LaFleur?!" Phil frowned. "How'd you figure that?"

"He comes 'round here lookin' for them blonde locks more often than Linus beats up his kid in a drunken frenzy."

"Danny!" Phil exclaimed, then dropped his voice to a low whisper. "We don't talk about that."

"We ain't talkin' 'bout lotsa things that's goin' on 'round here. Don't mean it don't happen, Phil."

"It's none of our business."

"Yeah? You gone say that to his kid if ever he come knockin' on ya door for help? 'Ain't none of my business, kid. Scram?' Or what about them recruits we buried last week? I ain't seen a single letter went out to them families. We also just gone pretend that ain't our business?"

The truth of the matter was, Danny wasn't wrong, he knew he wasn't; too many things were happening on the island that consistently and conveniently escaped members' attention. Just the other day, after he'd caught Linus beating the shit out of his sad puppy of a kid again, it occurred to him that he just couldn't be the only one who'd ever been witness to such a plain show of domestic abuse. How could he be? What a farce! The D.I. endlessly prattled on about life and death, war and peace, love and hate; they talked about everything that went above and beyond mere mortal comprehension; yet, when it really came down to it – whenever, Roger would turn up drunk for his shift again, or Ben showed up to class with a black eye and busted glasses – well, if anyone'd ask him, he'd say the DHARMA folk just didn't want to see. 'Them things that truly need fixin', them things that matter in the here and now; them such things don't matter to the DHARMA fuckin' Initiative.'

"It ain't! - I mean, it isn't!" Phil nervously pulled at his sleeves.

"Uhu," Danny sniffed. "Guess it ain't, then."

"Hi boys!"

Phil jumped, unprepared for the sudden intrusion. Danny jerked around, a genuine 100-watt smile gracing his face. At least the island provided him with some distractions; them nice blue eyes surely gave him palpitations from time to time.

"Well, well, if it ain't Jules. You early, doll. Your shift don't start 'til one."

"Hi Phil."

"Juliet," Phil gave her a curt nod, his eyes darting off to the side.

"I left early yesterday, figured I'd make up for the time today."

"Well, you're in luck. Phil here says his van needs some lovin'; told him you're just the gal he's lookin' for."

She grinned and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Suppose she's not your type, eh?"

"Nah, you know how I like 'em, big and busty. None of that angular, wide eyed crap" he winked.

Juliet shook her head, unable to hide the amusement that tugged at the corners of her lips.

She should be more outraged by such sexual innuendos, but this was Danny, and Danny was about as threatening as a baby hippopotamus. Ever since she'd signed up for the motor pool detail she'd expected backlash, ridicule, jokes about her inability to hold a screwdriver the right way up. But instead of huffing and puffing about her true place being in the kitchen, Danny had surprised her. His open-mindedness about her abilities made her feel welcome, and as a result she embraced his testing and teasing with a smile rather than a grimace. Also, she was capable of making some pretty sharp remarks of her own keeping Danny on his toes plenty.

"What seems to be the problem?"

She stepped closer to the van, and turned her attention back to Phil. He gave her an odd look and a quick once over before spewing forth an incomprehensible string off words.

"I – uh," a twitch tugged at his eye.

"I – eh," he scraped his throat.

"The engine is ticking and – uh– I."

He pulled at his collar.

"Uh, backlight –."

Danny sniggered, and put an arm around Phil's shoulder.

"The engine is givin' 'im some hiccups, and you're gonna wanna replace the backlight," he said.

"Right," Phil nodded. "That."

"Okay, no problem. I'll see what I can do," she moved towards the work station and slipped her gloves on. "Check back in at the end of the afternoon."

Phil gave her another curt nod.

"Anything else?"

"No," he said, his eyes sliding up and down her jumpsuit once more, then he turned to Danny, pursed his lips and said:

"See you later, Dan."

"later, Phil."

Juliet tilted her head to the side as she watched Phil stalk off in the direction of the barracks.

"What's with Phil?"

"What ain't with Phil?" he snorted.

She laughed.

" 'S got his panties all tied up in a knot when he heard his boss and you are sweet on each other."

She froze; the look in Danny's eyes imparting far more than she was willing to acknowledge. How in the hell did that rumor spread about?

"Where'd you hear that?" she asked, leaping back into movement. She opened the van's front latch, and propped the hood up.

"You ain't foolin' anyone, doll. He's up here more often than he's out 'n 'bout checkin' perimeters. Always somethin' "broke" on his VW. Uhu," he winked.

"It's not like that, Danny. You know that."

"I'm just tellin' 'em how I see 'em, doll. And I sure seen lotsa ogling happenin' 'round these parts lately."

"I'm telling you, you're seeing it wrong."

"I am, am I?"

He tapped his nose, then shrugged and slammed his hand against the side of the van.

"Don't forget to freshen the oil, doll," He turned away. "I'll be in my office. Say hi to LaFleur when he stops by."

He walked away.

"Shit," she whispered under her breath.

He wasn't wrong, James had been stopping by a lot, lately. In fact, his van would randomly break down at least twice a week, and whenever he wasn't able to make it to the motor pool he'd find some way to lure her out into the jungle. Not Mitchell, not Tom, not Danny; he always requested her. Stolen moments between noon and night time, where the undergrowth, vines and muddy soil created noisy friction and impossibly to wash out stains. To think that they were getting away with it, she snorted. So much for keeping the "un" out of the "complicated".

"Shit, shit, shit," she pulled off her gloves, and threw them back onto the work station.

"What ya cursin' at the world for, Blondie?"

And there he was, just like Danny said he would be; a dimpled smirk plastered onto the side of his face. She felt a flutter pull at her insides as he leaned against Phil's van and crossed his arms in front of his chest. There was a slight spark in his eyes today, burning holes into carefully constructed resolutions; just by looking at him she was already breaking promises that she'd only just made.

Fuck.

"What are you doing here?" she snapped.

"Thought you might wa–… you in some kind of trouble, or somethin'?"

She huffed.

"Danny thinks he's got us all figured out," she motioned between them.

"Oh…"

"Yeah, oh."

She shook her head and turned away from the station, but before she could brush by him he caught her arm in mid-stride. Another wave of flutters raced through her body, tripling her heartbeat; a thousand tiny wings flapping in the darkness, tying her to the present. This was crazy. What they'd been doing was crazy. There was a time, not too long ago, that these exact same eyes had looked at her with disgust. When he'd banded together with Sayid, had watched her from the corners of narrowed eyes. Nothing would have pleased him more than to have put a bullet through her head when she'd walked away with Claire's medicine, having revealed more about his life than she should have been able to know. But now? His hand pulled her back searing dark marks of desire into her skin. Now, he wanted her.

"It don't have to matter," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"We don't have to keep hidin'. Maybe, we should just try the whole out-in-the-open thing."

"The out-in-the-open thing?" she rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't actually. What do you mean, James?"

He smirked, his eyes sparkling with unleashed mischief; a second later he'd turned her to him and pushed her back against the side of the van, knocking the wind clean out of her.

She gasped, within seconds he had two, three, four buttons undone on her jumpsuit.

"You startin' to comprehend, doctor Burke?" he whispered into her ear as one of his hands disappeared down her jumpsuit. A shiver ran across her spine, and his lips curved against her throat; his slight kisses travelling upward, only momentarily halting to nip at her skin here, then there. This wasn't exactly the answer she'd been looking for, but as his lips found hers, his intentions read loud and clear. She responded without protest, not even wanting to resist, caught up in the lure of their game, she almost didn't hear…

"Ehum, ehum."

Her eyes flew open; the unmistakable cough of an accidental voyeur.

"James," she pushed at his shoulders, his grip tightened.

"James," she repeated.

He let out a low grunt but pulled back.

She coaxed her head in the direction of the sound; James half-turned, then a sly smile spread across his face and she mentally rolled her eyes. Of course, he would be excited about getting caught red-handed, he practically lived for the thrill of forbidden moments like these; out in the open, yet, far enough away from prying eyes.

"Goodmornin' Doctor Long," he said, his hands leisurely sliding out of her jumpsuit.

"Mr. LaFleur. Miss Carlson."

Juliet's cheeks flushed a brighter shade of red, but Long hardly seemed to notice. If anything, he looked rather blasé about the matter, as though he'd just taken a sip of a particularly bitter cup of coffee and had decided that nothing could possibly ruin his day more.

"What brings ya to this neck of the woods?"

"I was hoping to have a word with miss Carlson, here" Long said, studying the undone buttons on her jumpsuit with a raised eyebrow.

James inclined his head.

"Don't let me stop ya."

"In private," he added.

Juliet looked up in surprise; what could possibly be so important that it demanded her immediate attention? He could hardly be here about a van. Long did everything on foot; good for the lungs, he said. Suppose he didn't consider chain smoking his way through DHARMA meetings a tad more hazardous to his health than a sedentary lifestyle. Not for the first time since they'd arrived she'd marvelled at the general attitude of the 70s; 'the era of the wilfully ignorant and the blissfully blind', Miles had said at some point. He might be onto something there.

"You OK?" James asked, pulling her attention back to the present.

"Yeah," she nodded, finishing buttoning up her jumpsuit. "I'll finish up here; I'll see you tonight."

"OK, then," he shrugged, the subtle shift in his demeanour conveying that he was anything but OK with the abrupt brush off, but he would let it go for now.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Don't forget to bring the tacos."

"As long as you bring the game."

He laughed and winked.

"Count on it, Blondie."

With a knot in her stomach she watched him go. He'd soon realize that the stars in his eyes weren't truly meant for her. He longed for green emeralds, and lush brown curls. She knew; her name had slipped from his lips in his sleep on more than one occasion. It hurt. It hurt a lot. But neither time travel nor distance could make him want her. He had to come to that conclusion on his own. He might never, and that was OK too. It wasn't supposed to mean anything anyway.

She shook the thoughts from her head.

"What can I do for you, Doctor?"

"I'd rather we talk some place private. I do not usually discuss topics of a delicate nature out in the open like this."

"Delicate?"

Didn't he just clear her last week?

"Should I be worried?"

The way he stood there, chin up in full on doctor mode; it gave her pause. It was familiar. Too familiar. She used to approach women in the clinic in a similar manner. When their hopes of seeing two pink lines would be dashed by that disappointing singular one. 'I'm sorry; maybe, next time,' she'd say.

But Long wasn't a fertility doctor, and he certainty wouldn't be alluding to a next time of any sort, not after all he'd just been privy to.

"Let's go to my office, shall we?" his expression remained void of emotion and it did nothing to reassure her. She could almost hear James whisper in her ear: 'He'd make for a great Other. Stoic. Empty eyes. Soulless. Kinda like you in the beinning.'

She followed him across the square to the infirmary; inside Alice and Debra were seated behind long white desks. Fragments of excited conversation fluttered about the room, the air filled with an ease that she'd never quite associated with the infirmary before. She greeted them, and they responded in kind.

"Juliet," Long began, after he'd closed his office door behind her.

"Please, sit."

She almost laughed out loud; the irony of the situation crept through thick layers of unwritten pieces of paper and sticky post-it notes on yellow bare walls, this used to be her office. Or rather, it would be, 26 years from now. In her time, it looked more desolate, discolored paint peeling off the ceiling and walls, pieces of brown tape desperately trying to hold onto corners of hastily torn off leaflets. Here, right now, it looked freshly painted; no marks of wear or the inevitable sense of dread that would soon inhibit the place; it even smelled better.

"We found something in your blood that I think we should discuss."

"Oh?"

"How have you been feeling, lately?"

She shrugged.

"Just some headaches, but nothing so bad it'd be worth mentioning. Why?"

"You and LaFleur have you been seeing each other long?"

She narrowed her eyes at him; that was an odd question. What did that have to do with anything? And besides –

"I don't see how that's any of your business."

"Well, it becomes our business when you decide to procreate."

"Excuse me?"

"Procreate, it means –"

"I know what it means; I haven't a clue what you're talking about."

"The DHARMA Initiative has rules about pregnancies, Juliet. You have to submit the proper documents, and apply for absence of leave so that you can be thoroughly examined on the mainland before try outs start," he paused. "Unless you've decided to leave the island, of course. Obvously, you'd be free to do whatever you want, then."

"Try outs? What are you–?"

"There's no need to deny it; according to the data you provided last year you're not in the habit of regulating your menses, you've not been prescribed any type of birth control, and the Initiative has been denied requests to import male contraceptives. That only leaves us with one possible scenario. You planned for this to happen," he hesitated. "I'm a little surprised, though. Did you really think you could hide it from us? Surely, you must have known there'd come a time we'd find out."

She stared, her eyes all but rolling out of her skull.

"You're saying, I'm…?"

She shook her head. No, no, no.

"You're wrong,"

Something must have gone wrong with her blood test; a mix up, maybe. A false positive, surely. She grabbed the file from his desk and started flipping through it. The RFLP and SNP aligned perfectly with what she remembered from her med-school results. Her brows knit together. These were hers, but…

"It has to be a false positive."

"We're quite sure."

"I can't be pregnant."

"According to our–"

"You're not listening to me; I can't get pregnant."

Long frowned.

"You mean; you haven't been able to conceive until now?"

"No," was she really going to have to spell it out? Was he that dim?" I'm infertile."

It hurt to say; she'd never actually said it out loud before.

Long appeared confounded.

"You're infertile?"

"Yes, I – I– "

How could she ever explain that the adult version of the boy who currently lived three barracks down the road from her had been the cause of her infertility? How could she begin to explain that in 26 years' time he was going to lure her to the island, and lay claim to her as though she was his slave to keep: 'After everything I've done to get you here! After everything I've done to keep you here! How could you possibly not understand…that you're mine?!'

Ben had forced her hand, and after all this time the memories of that day continued to fester like big open wounds, growing more and more repulsive each day.

"There's this drug called Chlorhydelone. It's a trial drug," she began. "I took it a little over a year ago."

"Why?"

Why?

She watched little Benjamin Linus sometimes, from the window inside her barrack; the sight of him always ignited confusion. She hated him, but she also pitied him; a dichotomy of indecision forevermore debating with unrelenting thoughts, wracking havoc with her original proclamations.

He'd glanced up once, as though he'd sensed her eyes on him, and they'd stared at each other; this broken boy with his busted Harry Potter glasses complete with duck tape, minus scar, and the object of his future obsession, staring. She'd hastily stepped away, and pulled the shutters down with a force that vibrated through the entire house.

"I was told that it was safe," she lied. "But eventually, I learned that the effects of the drug had done irreparable damage to my reproductive organs."

Long shook his head.

"What was the trial for? Why didn't you mention this during your first medical exam?"

"I didn't think it worth mentioning."

"You didn't think infertility would be worth mentioning?" Long pinched the bridge of his nose, and leaned forward on his desk. "Juliet, don't get me wrong, this truly is quite a remarkable story. But you have to understand that from where I'm sitting, I'm having some trouble piecing together certain facts; why would you be involved in this? How did you get involved? Were there more people who were being tested on like you?"

"Evan," she put her arms on the desk, mirroring him. "I can't talk about the experiments, or who performed them," she lied. "And I didn't mention it, because–" she looked away, the painful reminder of what had happened in the weeks following her actions bubbled to the surface. It surprised her how much of that faded pain still felt so fresh.

"Because I couldn't."

Long regarded her with calculated suspicion over the rim of his aviator glasses. Then he sighed and pushed himself up from his chair.

"You should have been more forthcoming, Juliet. We could have run our own tests. This island–" he stopped.

"This island, what?" she repeated, knowing full well where he'd intended to go with that line of thought.

"Forget it," he waved the thought away with his hand. "The truth of the matter is that the tests we conduct here are very accurate. If what you're saying is true, then there's only one way to confirm it."

She nodded.

"I understand."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

              DHARMA Initiative: Infirmary, July 1975            

"This is going to be a little cold."

Debra applied the thick blue gel to her belly, squirting it out over her skin with flowery adolescent strokes. She shivered, her bellybutton's repurposed design looking oddly disturbing in all of its crooked glory. Debra laughed.

"First time?"

Juliet nodded, not quite sure how else to respond. She'd been through the motions countless times before: apply the gel, clearly express what the patient can expect, apply the proper amount of pressure to the probe, move it in the longitudinal plane across the belly–

"Longitudinal."

"Sorry?"

"You're holding it wrong."

Debra frowned.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," she placed her fingers on top of the young nurse's hand. "Let me show you."

Debra started to protest, but Juliet was already moving the transducer down to her pubic bone. She applied a little more pressure, and slowly maneuvered the device upward.

"See?"

Almost instantly an image popped up on the monitor.

Debra turned her head, her frown deepened as she scratched her head with her other hand.

"How did you know?"

"Just simple logi–" She trailed; her eyes arrested by the image on the monitor, an unmistakable flutter catching her attention. It appeared at the bottom of the screen, a steady rhythm, corroborated by the rapid thumping that emanated from the monitor's speakers. A heartbeat.

Her hands flew to her mouth.

"Omph! Careful," Debra said.

It was small. So small. She'd almost missed it; the size of a raspberry, and because she knew where to look did she see the tiniest of hands shift ever so slightly into view, showing signs of life that could not possibly be thriving inside her body.

"Oh my–" she whispered.

Up until that moment she'd been so sure. There'd been no morning sickness; no sign or indication of any sort that her body was preparing itself for radical changes. For all intense and purposes the Chlorhydelone should have completely destroyed both of her fallopian tubes and uterus. She hadn't had her period in months, and yet here she was bearing witness to the impossible.

She moved closer to the screen; Debra shifted the probe into a different position to accommodate her better.

"It looks to be about–"

"63 days," Juliet whispered. "9 weeks."

"How–?"

"I just do," she swallowed hard; her breath catching in her throat.

"Well," Debra shrugged, and turned her attention back to the monitor. "It looks healthy. Strong."

"It does," she smiled, betrayed by the tremor in her hand as she reached for the screen. Still captivated by the image, the tightness in her chest continued to expand further and further, until soft drops of relief and sadness carved red roads of opportunity down her cheeks. "It really does."

There was so much that she wished she could say to the young nurse, yet there was so very little she could actually reveal. The DHARMA Initiative would never understand the true power of the island. How it healed the irreparable, cure the terminal, restore fertility. But also, how it could take all of that away in the blink of an eye. Over the years she'd learned how the island acted as some type of enabler, pulling strings on puppets through time and space per Jacob's request. And now, she appeared to be in the eye of its hurricane.

She abruptly pulled her shirt down; the image on the screen cut off.

"Wha–?!" Debra started.

"I have to go."

"We're not done, yet!"

"I can't stay."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I am sooo excited to be sharing parts of this story with you guys already! If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to drop a line. It's going to be quite a ride. I don't even know how long this story is going to be, but it took me about a month to work out all of the details. I know how it ends! Just don't know how long it will take for me to get there! It will definitely be a Suliet story, but MANY of the other characters will also appear in this story, along with some original characters, like Danny! For every subsequent chapter and section I'll insert a place and time, because if I don't do that it will turn into a mess very quickly. So, I recommend that before you start reading each section you take note of where all of the characters in the story are and at what time!

Other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter! And if you got this far, thank you so much for reading!

[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

[choiceslife]

When Worlds Collide: Part Five (Limited Series)

Disclaimer: Based upon characters in Choices - Endless Summer, It Lives in the Woods, The Royal Romance, #LoveHacks, Home for the Holidays, and The Elementalists series. All characters presented are the property of Pixelberry Studios. I claim no ownership. This story is purely the work of the poster as fanfiction.

Overall Series Rating: 18+

Warnings: Adult Language, Adult Content, Sexual Discussions. Future chapters may contain SMUT and Gratuitous Sexual Descriptions

Overall Series Summary: The sisters are together again and Ava Cunningham believes only they can help her.

Author’s Note: This Limited Series is a companion/sequel to Divided By Circumstance. I suggest you at least read that series in order to understand this one. As with most of my stories, this is a crossover and is part of my interconnected Chromatic AU. My MC’s are as follows: Carrissa Monroe (TRR), Abby Bennett (#LH), Scarlett Joy (HFTH), Taylor Reed (ES), and Donovan Bailey (TE). Previous Chapters can be found in my Master List located in my header.

Tag List: @cinnamonroll-duffy @darley1101 @debramcg1106 @brightpinkpeppercorn @katurrade @ladynonsense @luxurylives @regrettingnathan @teamtomsato @akrenich @riseandshinelittleblossom @kinkykingliam @jlouise88 @eileendannie @marshmallow-ortega @littlecrookedheart @i-choose-liam @tmarie82 @bobasheebaby @boneandfur @europeanguy @walkerismychoice @pixieferry @sstee1 @endlessly-searching-for-you

***

New York City, New York

Carissa, Abby, and Scarlett removed their hands from the amulet that Ava had instructed them to hold. They couldn’t believe the visions the ornate piece of jewelry projected into their minds. As sad as the three women felt to learn of the terrible price their mother paid to bring them into this world; just knowing the lengths she went to protect them gave the sisters some closure.

“So our mom knew about the powers we possessed? And she knew that birthing us would kill her?” Abby wiped a stray tear from her eye. Knowing the sacrifice her birth mother made broke her heart.

Ava placed the amulet back into the black velvet bag which Cora kept it stored. She could have told the sisters the lengths Cora went to hide them from the world, but Ava thought it better for the three to see for themselves. “From what I could gather from the amulet and Cora’s journals, Anastasia figured out sometime after the first trimester that she was carrying babies with extraordinary abilities. It was Cora that let your mother know the likelihood of her surviving the birth was extremely low. Carrying three of the most powerful beings in the universe takes a toll on the human body.”

“What about the fact that the late Senator Vega is our father?” Carissa questioned. “Mom clearly feared him finding out about us.”

“Thankfully we won’t have to worry about him.” Abby placed her hand onto Carissa’s shoulder to calm her worries.

“Are either of you upset that everything we have is because Cora set things in motion to keep us apart as her way of keeping us safe?” Scarlett questioned. Tears were also in her eyes as she looked at the tall woman standing before her. “Why couldn’t she find us when we became adults and tell us about our birthright?”

“I think Cora did what she felt was best. She certainly nudged some things, but you three are where you are because of your own strengths.” Ava took a seat across from the sisters. She took a deep breath, knowing that the trio had a lot to process. “Perhaps we should...”

Carissa rose from her seat on the couch, which immediately silenced Ava mid-sentence. “It seems that Cora went to great lengths to keep my sisters and I apart. Fate of the world and all that. But you’re wanting us to use our powers for some purpose that you haven’t quite explained. Why risk something that Cora worked so hard to prevent?”

“Fate actually brought you together with your sisters after Cora’s death, Your Majesty,” Ava answered. It was true. Without Cora Pritchard around, the universe set in motion to bring The Sisters back together. “When you three came together, you felt something. A spark. You broke Cora’s binding spell. My original plan was to come tell you about your powers and then re-engage the binding spell with some tweaks so that mere touches between each other wouldn’t break it again.”

“Original plan? What changed?” Carissa asked.

___

The groups stepped away to mingle, giving Ava some private time with Carissa, Abby, and Scarlett. The shaggy haired pilot found a corner of the room that gave him a vantage point to watch the others while he got lost in his own thoughts.

Cade mingled with Griffin and Zeph, taking a moment to feel the former’s biceps, while Lucas teetered on the edge of the group. Stacy seemed to marvel at Shreya’s fashion, while Donovan and Beckett snuck flirtatious little finger grabs with each other. Mara checked up on Eagle Eye stationed outside the door, as Dan pulled up a seat beside Jake.

“You’re never much for group chats are you?” Dan questioned as he playfully punched Jake on the knee. The pilot smiled back with a low laugh that caused Dan to tingle inside. Something kept pulling him back to the gruff smart ass he’d known for all of a few days, despite Jake’s attempt to steer him towards Lucas. Dan liked Lucas for sure. He’s smart, attractive, and a phenomenal friend. Yet something was missing. Dan didn’t feel that spark. His breath didn’t hitch in his throat like it did the first time he saw Jake. It was wrong to feel this way. Dan knew he was here to help Jake get Taylor back; but part of him imagined a future involving the brash, ex-military guy with a penchant for nicknames.

“Not particularly Mop Top, but I don’t mind talking to you.” Jake flashed that underwear dropping grin of his and Dan swore he felt himself tighten against his jeans. Jake noticed, but before he could give his new friend grief, he spotted the Queen approaching out of the corner of his eye. “Your Majesty,” Jake said jumping to his feet and pulling Dan up with him in the process.

“Please, you don’t have to do that. Sit, sit. Call me Carissa. You’re Jake, right?” The Queen inquired, extending her hand to the shaggy haired man before her.

“Yes ma’am...err...Carissa. And this here is Mop...Dan.”

“Pleasure to officially meet you both.” Carissa took a seat beside the two men, gesturing for them to sit back down. Although she didn’t know him, the dog tags around his neck gave her some confidence that Jake would be trustworthy and honorable enough to be forthright with her. She had been through so much in Cordonia before marrying Liam and her emotions were on overdrive the past week after meeting her sisters. And now she had a gaggle of strangers telling her that she was part of a powerful witch trio. To say that her mind was blown would be an understatement. At this point, Carissa was beginning to doubt her sanity. The scariest part to her was that she believed them. Hell, someone could show up next week and tell her that Justin was abducted by an evil corporation and replaced with a murder prone robot and she’d believe it. “So Jake, tell me something. What made you believe Ava’s words? I have to think a military man like yourself isn’t someone that is easily swayed by simple stories.”

Jake ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated Carissa’s question. Why did he believe Ava? His very first interaction with her, she used her friend Dan as a thirst trap. Yet it worked and after speaking with the two, Jake felt a level of comfort that was quite rare for him. The last time he trusted that quickly was the day he met Taylor. “To be honest Carissa, I wasn’t swayed by Ava’s words. Something inside told me that I could trust her and Dan.”

“She believes that Taylor left a bigger impression upon you and your friends than Vaanu expected. The feeling Ava got from her interactions with Taylor was that he was supposed to fade from your memories in short order after he left, but the love you all have is willing him back into existence.”

“Sounds like Taylor,” Jake chuckled. “Things happened on La Huerta that nobody will ever know. Taylor saved the world, but he also saved me as a person.”

“Thank you Jake,” Carissa said as she clasped his hands between her own. She left the two men back to return to their conversation while she rejoined her sisters.

“So? What do you think?” Abby asked with baited breath. Her mind had been made up rather quickly. Abby thought it would be super fun to experience magical powers. It must have been Ben’s comic book imagination rubbing off on her. Scarlett was a little more reserved, but was willing to try if precautions were in place. All that remained was Carissa.

___

Griffin gathered his friends beside Ava. It was time for them to return to Penderghast. The had work to do on their own mission. “I wish we could stay cousin, but circumstances beckon us back home.”

“Yeah. Donovan has Thief practice tomorrow and he’s gonna need to focus. Especially since he missed the first game,” Zeph remarked.

“Thief practice?” Stacy arched an eyebrow at Zeph’s words.

“It’s like flag football,” Donovan answered. “Just with magic.”

“Yes. Well, while you all entertain yourselves with sport, I’ll be studying in the library,” Beckett scoffed.

Shreya and Zeph chuckled at Beckett’s expense before the two groups said their goodbyes. Cade hugged Griffin just a little longer and tighter than the others, much to Stacy’s chagrin. Ava watched her girlfriend forcefully whisper to their friend after his embrace as Griffin’s friends made their way back through the mirror portals.

“So you’re all going to forget about this as soon as you go through?” Ava questioned as she hooked Griffin’s arm before he could depart.

Griffin nodded to his cousin. He knew she was slightly sad that he’d forget seeing her again after so many years apart. “It’s for the best. The Sisters need to stay safe. Just remember what I told you about the potions and the talisman. If they agree to help you, the talisman will keep your location hidden. I imagine magic that powerful will be sensed by many attuned beings rather quickly. Once you’ve completed your task, use the potions for binding and memory alteration.” Ava hugged her cousin one last time before watching him disappear through the mirror to rejoin his friends.

___

The Queen and her sister’s gathered the attention of those that remained. “I’m surprised to see your cousin leave us so soon Ava,” Carissa said, a hint of dejection in her voice

“He and his friends have some matters to handle back in their realm, but I assure you that Griffin put precautions in place to keep your secrets safe. He also provided me with a few items that should assist with the spell if you, Abby, and Scarlett are willing to help.”

Carissa looked between her two sisters, both of whom were smiling greatly before confirming to Ava their willingness to try and restore Taylor to the timeline. “We were talking between ourselves about what to do. Something you and Jake mentioned struck a chord with us. You said Taylor has been trying to will himself back into existence. And Jake mentioned that lots of things went down on La Huerta. If we are going to have the best chance of being successful, I think we need to go where Taylor’s Earth presence was strongest.”

“You’re saying we need to go to La Huerta,” Jake grinned.

“Precisely.”

“Well then Your Majesty, I’m sure you’ve got access to a Royal jet. Think you can take this motley crew with you? I need to make some phone calls and arrangements for some others to join us. If we are going to be successful, then we won’t only need La Huerta. We’ll need those that still have Taylor in their hearts.”

The Queen nodded in agreement while Stacy practically bounced off the walls, excited no doubt to get to fly on a luxurious royal airplane replete with every amenity imaginable.

“Excellent,” Jake replied. “I’ll send you the coordinates and let Malfoy... errr, Aleister know we’re coming so arrangements can be made for your arrival. La Huerta here we come.”

***

(To be continued)

[danfanciesphil]

Edgelord!Dan x ObliviousBisexual!Phil AU [CHAPTER SEVEN] (based off the 80′s classic Some Kind of Wonderful)

Synopsis: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan��s perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan’s best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones. Word Count: WIP (Estimated 12-15 chapters) updates every Tuesday Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smoking, swearing, implied prostitution, broken home, class divide/classism, pining, light homophobia, sex

[Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five] [Chapter Six]

[Ao3!]

Dan wishes he woke up to soft arms cradling him, and the fond, familiar twinkle in Phil’s vibrant blue eyes. He wishes he woke up to a kiss, as passionate and searching as it had been yesterday. He wishes he woke up to warmth, and tentative happiness, and a sweet, slow beginning of something hopeful and beautiful and new.

Instead, he wakes up alone. He only stirs because he hears a sound, a general shuffling from afar. He blinks, blearily, at the empty space beside him. The indent of Phil is still pressed into the quilt and pillow. He sits up with some difficulty, trying to make sense of the morning, and trying to pinpoint the source of the noise. It’s only when he sees Phil, at the foot of his bed, pulling on his socks with the haste of a fugitive on the run, that he remembers.

Happiness, romance, sweetness - these things are reserved for girls like Amanda. Beautiful, charming people that spend their lives skimming cloud nine, a lucky clover tucked behind one ear. Boys like Dan get strife, and futility, and their hearts stomped on by people that don’t care. He swallows a sharp needle, feeling his eyes sting. Phil glances up, like he’s heard the murmur of Dan’s realisation; there’s guilt brimming in his eyes.

“Oh,” he says softly. He doesn’t seem to see that it’s too late for him to be quiet. Dan is awake now. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“You’re leaving?” Dan asks, though the answer is perfectly obvious.

Phil straightens, and nods, avoiding Dan’s eye. “Yeah, I’ve… got a lot to do today.”

“Like what?”

The wave of Phil’s answering smile crashes over Dan’s head, but as it breaks, he feels the guilt lurking beneath the water.

“Tonight is Prom night,” Phil answers. “The big night.”

Dan’s eyes sting ferociously. He has to squeeze them shut. He hopes Phil can’t see the moisture from this far away. “Oh,” he says, chewing the inside of his cheek. “You’re going through with it, then.”

“Of course!” Phil’s voice is too high. “You know that this is the only thing I’ve talked about for weeks.”

Dan nods, his lips pressed together. If Phil weren’t already halfway out the door, he’d kick the guy out himself. “Right.”

“You’re still gonna come, right?” Phil asks. There’s no mistaking the nervousness of his stance, the tremor in his voice.

Dan screws his eyes shut again. “Yeah, I’ll still come.”

“Okay,” Phil says quietly. “Well, I’ll see you later then.”

Without his permission, Phil’s name forces it’s way out of Dan’s mouth, and Phil hesitates, warily. “Don’t you wanna… talk about it?” The words are spiky; they stick in his throat, choking him.

“Talk about what?”

“About last night,” Dan says.

“Oh,” Phil says awkwardly. There’s a flush edging his sharp cheekbones. “About the kiss, you mean?” He laughs, and the sound of it is jarring. “Yeah, thanks again. Needed the practise. You won’t, um… won’t be needing to do me any more favours now.”

Dan nods, silently. If Phil wants to pretend the other bit, the second bit, didn’t happen, Dan isn’t going to humiliate himself by trying to bring it up. Maybe they’ll never talk about it again. Maybe that’s good. Maybe one day, in the distant future, it’ll be such a vague, hazy memory that Dan could convince himself it was all a dream.

“So I’ll see you this evening,” Phil says after a while.

Dan doesn’t reply.

When he lifts his gaze to the door, Phil is gone.

*

“Where’re you going?”

Dan freezes. If he’d just come downstairs a few seconds earlier, he might have made it out of the door without being caught. He swallows, trying to remain calm as he turns slowly on the spot, his hand still on the knob, ready to dart out. His mum is leaning against the wall, staring at him. There’s a can of beer in her hand, half empty, and a smirk twisting her lips. Her half-lidded gaze drags over him, head to toe, absorbing the sight.

“Dressed pretty fancy for work, aren’t’cha?” She brings the can to her lips.

Dan looks at her feet, feeling hot and uncomfortable in this stupid outfit. He’d just about convinced himself, after hours of staring into his mirror, plucking and fussing at every item of clothing, every stray hair, that he looked okay. Now he wishes he could just rip everything off and crawl back into bed.

“I’m not going to work,” Dan mumbles.

“What’s that?” His mum asks loudly, stepping closer towards him. She wobbles unsteadily on her feet, indicating that this is not her first beer of the evening. “You slacking off, Daniel?”

Dan drags his eyes up to meet hers, sighing. “No, Mum. I’ve got the night off.”

“And why’s that?”

Dan hesitates, wondering if there’s a way he can get out of telling her. But she’s staring at the outfit he’s wearing again, ripping it apart with her sneer.

“It’s Prom,” Dan admits, quietly.

There’s a silence in the wake of his words that Dan doesn’t expect. When he looks up at his mother again, there’s a strange, distant expression on her face. A minute or so passes, and Dan wonders if he should maybe just leave. Then, she lowers the hand holding her can, letting it rest at her hip.

“That’s why you’ve got a shirt on,” she says, her voice unusually calm.

Dan nods, his brow furrowing as he tries to make sense of her mood.

“I bought you that shirt,” she says, staring. Dan shifts under her gaze, wriggling around in the stiff material. He’s still not used to the feel of it. “Did I?”

She looks up at him, her eyes wet and lost, searching his face for answers. Dan sighs, but nods at her. “Yeah, mum. You bought it for me. For the funeral.”

She nods, biting her lip. “Does it still fit?”

Dan shrugs, trying not to let her see how difficult the restrictive material makes this simple movement. “Well enough.”

“Can I get a picture of you, baby?” Her voice breaks a little.

Dan presses his lips together, cheeks burning. “I’m late,” he says, turning away. “I have to get going.”

“You takin’ a girl?”

Dan pauses, his hand still gripping the doorknob. He shakes his head, not sure if she’ll even see the movement.

“A boy?” It catches him off guard.

He doesn’t bother turning around. “What, you care about my love life now?”

There’s a split second where a look of distress splinters his mum’s face, but it’s gone in a moment, replaced by a hardened, weathered glare.

“Oh, fuck off then, I’m only tryin’a be nice,” she growls, taking another swig from her can. She walks back towards the kitchen, practically snarling. “Don’t pretend like you’re so goddamn innocent, Daniel. Don’t think I dunno what you get up to when you’re not in this house. Fucking slut you are, an’ the whole town knows it. No surprise you couldn’t get a date to your own Prom. Just this mornin’ I saw some skinny kid sneaking outta your door before the damn sun rose-”

The door slams shut behind Dan as he hurls himself out of it. His mum’s ranting is a muffle now, but it’s still going on, even as he walks, speedily as he can, down the path. His hands have curled into fists again, and he can feel how hard he’s digging his nails into his palm, but he can’t stop himself. It hurts, but he just keeps walking, vaguely aware of the cold wind whipping against his skin. Perhaps he should have brought a coat or something, but he can’t feel much, so it probably doesn’t matter.

He had the sense to snag Ricky’s keys off the counter earlier on, when his mum was still asleep, so he opens the car quickly and hops in. At the driver’s seat, he takes a minute to breathe, waiting for the vicious fangs of his mother’s words to drain of potency. He shoves it all down, word by word, compressing it in a dark corner of his mind. Then, he starts the engine. He goes through the routine of reversing, pulling onto the street, flicking on the headlights, mind blank. Before he knows it, he’s outside Phil’s door.

*

It’s a testament to how well Phil truly knows him that he asks if something’s the matter the second he catches sight of Dan’s face.

“Why? Can you think of any reason I’d be upset?” Dan bites out in response. That chokes any further questions from Phil’s mouth.

They pack themselves into the car, Phil being rigid and awkward, trying not to crease his suit.  

“I’ve never been in your brother’s car before,” Phil says, looking around. “It’s nice.”

“It’s a car,” Dan replies, turning the key in the ignition. “If it’s not good enough for your precious Amanda, you’ll have to find another way to Prom.”

Phil doesn’t say anything, but the look he gives Dan, small and apologetic, softens Dan’s hard exterior. He sighs heavily, pulling off the kerb. There’s a pause while Dan waits at the end of the road for a space to pull out.

“You look really nice,” Phil says softly.

The blunt blow of the unexpected compliment winds him. Dan stares resolutely out of the windscreen, his lips pressed together. Finally, after what feels like years suspended in this bizarre limbo of Ricky’s crappy car with his best friend and worst enemy, Dan snags a space between two cars, and pulls onto the main road.

“She lives-” Phil starts to say, but Dan cuts him off.

“I know where she lives.”

“Okay.” Phil’s voice is subdued, like a told-off toddler.

Amanda Jones lives quite close to Dan, as it turns out. He hadn’t realised this until recently, because he never sees her around, but then he doubts she’s often home. From Dan’s front door, it’s a few streets over, and under the bridge. PJ told him where exactly. He walked there once, a few days ago, disguising his  stalking session as a meandering walk.

He doesn’t know what he expected to find. Some marker on the house maybe that might indicate who lived there, and that she wasn’t the same as the residents of the neighbouring ones. That this girl had betrayed her upbringing to climb into bed with the enemy. But there was nothing. Amanda’s house is just the same as those either side of it. As Dan drives up to it now, he turns to look out of his window, trying to see anything he might have missed.

The houses on this side of the street are classic council houses – red brick, semi-detached, stuck to one another like they’ve been glued into their situation. A slim black railing separates the sliver of grass in front of Amanda’s house from the one next door. None of these ‘front gardens’ are particularly pleasant to look at, but Amanda’s in particular is overgrown and riddled with weeds. There’s a bike, cloaked in wet, coppery rust leant against the outside wall. Some toys – deflated footballs, a broken nerf gun, pieces of toy cars and tractors – litter the ground, rejected.

“Well,” Dan says. “Here we are. Want me to slay the dragon while you climb the tower?”

Phil lets out a snort of laughter. He doesn’t move. “I’m nervous.”

“I’d be weirded out if you weren’t,” Dan says.

For whatever reason, this seems to be enough to spur Phil onwards. He nods, and opens his door. Simply because he feels he should, Dan opens his own door, and joins him on the pavement. Dan side-eyes Phil, who appears to be stuck to the pavement. His hands are twitching.

“Go on, then,” Dan tells him, inclining his head towards her door.

Phil turns to him, eyes frantic. “Maybe this is a stupid idea.”

Yes, Dan wants to say. Yes, it fucking is a stupid idea. Why the fuck did you ever think it up? Why can’t you be interested in boys, and me in particular? Why do you, of all people, have to have fallen into Amanda Jones’ ridiculous, pretty, doe-eyed trap?

“Bit late for all that now,” Dan says instead, dropping his eyes to the floor.

Phil seems to be waiting for him to say something else, but at that moment, a burst of shouting erupts from inside the house, sounding like an argument. Phil looks up worriedly, dithering on the spot, clearly wondering whether to go and intervene. Instead, the front door flings itself open, and out flounces Amanda in a pink, shimmery dress. It falls down to her dainty ankles, the wafting material floating like wisps of candyfloss as she storms down the few steps from her house towards them, her Barbie heels click-clacking along the short stone path. She kicks a piece of toy tractor out of her way as she goes, sending it flying into one of the railings. When she gets to the two of them, she stops, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

Crap, and she looks incredible.

It makes Dan want to curl up on the floor in front of her and weep. It might as well all be over now, he might as well surrender himself to a life of inconsequentiality, because he will never, in a thousand years, be able to compete with the stunning, ethereal, angelic, feminine beauty of Amanda fucking Jones. Her high cheekbones are dusted with an iridescent highlight, which glitters each time she turns her face. Her eyelids sparkle, dusted with varying shades of expertly blended pinks, matching her dress exactly. Her hair is naturally curly, but now it falls in perfect, loose ringlets, at once effortless and elegant, pinned in some places with tiny rose coloured gems. Dan had been joking before about the dragon, but if someone walked along and didn’t assume she is a Princess, he’d be amazed.

“Sorry about that,” Amanda says. Her long, fake eyelashes flutter as she rolls her eyes. “You know parents. Anyway, hi.”

She looks Phil up and down, smiling in approval. Dan doesn’t blame her; Phil looks like he was cut out of a Cosmo article on ‘Prom Night Looks For Your Man’.

“Hi,” Phil says, practically whispering.

There’s a blush on his cheeks at the sight of her. She smiles at him warmly, then her eyes slide towards Dan, and she frowns. “What’s this, then? Two dates for the price of one?”

For a moment, Phil doesn’t react. Then, his brain seems to catch up with his ears. He laughs, his blush deepening.

“Oh, no, um,” he glances at Dan, clearly struggling for an explanation. “Dan’s just- he’s, um-”

“I’m gonna drive you guys,” Dan says, saving him. “So you can drink and not worry about getting home.”

Phil nods, agreeing silently; he seems even more on edge than before. It’s agony to observe him in this bumbling state, knowing full well it’s Amanda’s immaculate silhouette that has him in such a tizzy.

“That’s… very good of you,” she says, sounding suspicious.

“That’s me. Such a good guy.” Dan sighs, opening the door to the driver’s side. “Let’s get this over with, then.”

Before they can reply, Dan just slips into the car, pulling the door shut behind him. Unfortunately, this is not fast enough to block out the sound of Phil, getting ahold of himself at last, leaning down to whisper in her ear:

“You look beautiful, Amanda.”

*

“So… I’ve been trying to play it off like it’s totally cool we’re not heading in the direction of the school for the past five minutes,” Amanda pipes up, breaking an awkward silence that has descended over the three of them. “But it occurred to me that I don’t really know you guys that well… so like, could you maybe tell me where we’re going?”

“Oh, sorry,” Phil says from beside her. “I told Dan to take us to get something to eat first. I mean…” Dan flicks his eyes up to the rearview mirror, watching Phil assess Amanda’s reaction. “If- if it’s okay with you.”

She shrugs, looking amused. “Sure, I could eat. What did you have in mind?”

Phil beams, shoulders slumping in relief. “Pizza.”

Dan’s gaze shifts to Amanda in the mirror, studying carefully. To his astonishment, she grins, her white teeth sparkling. “I love pizza.”

Phil leans forwards to poke Dan in the shoulder. “Told you.”

*

Dan has genuinely no idea why he agreed to do this. Later, when this horrendous night is over with, Dan will be stuffing skittles into his mouth to the tune of N-Sync’s Bye Bye Bye. Hardly a worthy commiseration prize given that he will have had to spend hours watching a sickening display of heart-shattering cuteness featuring the boy he loves. With someone else. He drags on his cigarette, fingers shaking. It’s not even cold.

He found a pack of Ricky’s Marlboro Reds in the glovebox, but to his disappointment, discovered only one single cigarette left in the box. At least he can stop stinking of cherry for a while. He’s leant against the boot of the car, which isn’t an easy task considering how much it wobbles and shudders each time either Phil or Amanda shift the tiniest bit. They’ve spread their takeaway feast on the car bonnet, then perched up beside it, backs against the windshield as they share slices of pizza, talking about school, the town, their favourite music.

The night is so perfect it’s as if the Gods sculpted it for them. Dan raises his chin to look up at the sky, which is littered with hundreds of stars. They barely ever shine down on this bleak, grey town, but tonight they are bright and abundant. Perhaps Amanda just attracts them with her radiance. Or perhaps they came out to peer down at the ultimate third wheel, pathetically hiding just out of view.

Dan swallows, tasting nothing but ash on his tongue. He can hear them talking, still. The spot Dan has driven them to is a popular ‘make out’ destination. It’s only because it’s Prom night that there’s nobody here this evening. It occurs to Dan, belatedly, that Phil will probably, at some point this evening, kiss Amanda in front of him.

The thought is a lance of pain striking through his gut. It’s debilitating just to entertain it; for a good few seconds, Dan can’t so much as move his limbs. The cigarette between his fingers becomes heavy and leaden. It drips ash onto his hand, and he curses, flapping his hand at the pain. He leans his head back against the car, trying not to think of anything. Clearing his mind, however, only makes it all too easy to focus on the conversation happening a few feet away.

“So, got any other surprises in store for me before we actually get to the dance?” Amanda asks.

“If I told you, they wouldn’t be very good surprises, would they?”

Dan shakes his head at Phil’s lame attempt to seem enigmatic. He’s probably bursting to tell her a step-by-step itinerary of the night ahead; he’s not exactly the world champion at keeping his lively emotions inside.

“Ah,” Amanda says. “I see how it is.”

There’s a pause, and Dan relishes it, willing it to go on longer, to cross the border from an ordinary lull into a painfully awkward gap between their banter.

“It was nice of your friend to do this,” Amanda says unexpectedly. Dan flinches. “Really nice. What’s his name, again?”

The car jostles a little, as if Phil’s fidgeting. “Dan.”

“How’d you get him to give up his whole night to drive us around?” Amanda asks, clearly itching with poorly concealed curiosity. “Does he owe you some massive favour or something?”

The car jostles again, making Dan’s head knock against it. “Hah,” Phil chokes out, “no. Um, I just bribed him, y’know? Used his weakness. He loves Skittles.”

“Skittles?”

“Yeah,” Phil replies, chuckling. “He’s mad for them.”

There’s a pause, and Dan finds himself straining to hear the next words.

“You’re telling me…” Amanda says slowly. “Dan agreed to miss out on Prom, dress up all smart, drive us about, wait around for us to chat or whatever, drive us to school… all for some Skittles?”

Dan smirks to himself, though he knows none of this is the slightest bit funny. It is kind of ridiculous that anyone would actually believe such a ridiculous story. It seems absurd, suddenly, that Phil hasn’t caught on to the real reasoning behind Dan’s unending generosity.

Phil forces out another fake sounding laugh. “I guess he just really likes Skittles.”

“How many packs?”

“Four? Five, maybe? I can’t remember what we settled on.”

It was five, Dan thinks bitterly. And if Phil thinks he can forget the Skittles, he’s very wrong. Dan might be hopelessly in love with him, but he’s not doing this for absolutely nothing. There’s another pause, and Dan sighs, wondering for the millionth time what on earth he’s doing to himself, and why.

“Wow,” Amanda says. “Good friend.” 

“Yeah, he is,” Phil says unexpectedly. “I know he comes off all tough and moody, but he does care about me. He’s been really good to me recently. Listened to me prattle on about you, for one thing.”

Amanda laughs. “You talk to him about me?”

“Oh, all the time,” Phil says, sounding glad for the change of subject. Dan fumbles for his phone, trying to distract himself. “I talk his ear off, actually,” Phil says. “He’s probably sick of it. Actually, I know he’s sick of it.”

“Poor Dan,” Amanda jokes.

Dan rolls his eyes, nodding silently. Poor Dan, indeed.

“Yeah,” Phil laughs. “I should stop annoying him about it. I mean, he tends to look annoyed sort of permanently, but I can always tell when he’s actually annoyed because he gets this little jumpy twitch in his jaw right here, like he’s clenching his teeth too hard.”

Baffled, Dan unclenches his jaw, rubbing it with one hand.

“You must annoy him a lot, to notice something like that,” Amanda says, teasingly.

Though Dan would hate to admit it aloud, Amanda’s actually pretty funny. She sounds easy to talk to, which is hard to find in anyone, let alone one of the Elite crew.

“Probably,” Phil agrees, chuckling. “But I’ve also studied his face a lot, so I know a lot of his quirks.”

“Um, what?”

Dan facepalms mentally, wondering if Phil ever actually rehearses what he’s about to say before letting the words spill off his tongue.

“Oh, I mean I draw him a lot,” Phil says, laughing. Amanda titters politely, but it sounds confused. “I use him for practise because we hang out all the time. He doesn’t usually mind, I don’t think.”

“You draw?” Amanda asks, and Dan frowns.

She doesn’t even know he’s an artist. She can’t care about him much to not have learned his one hobby.

“Yeah!” Phil exclaims happily, not seeming to care. “That’s what I want to do. Well, art anyway. I draw and paint. I like drawing people, but I’m bad at keeping to the rules. That’s what my teacher says. I tend to want to make them into birds or give them antennae or rainbow skin or something. So, I make myself practise every day at just drawing people normally. Usually it’s a pain, but I don’t mind drawing Dan for some reason. Maybe it’s because I know him so well. I could probably draw him blindfolded at this point.”

A heat creeps along Dan’s cheeks. It’s ridiculous to feel so pleased about something so obviously innocent. His place in Phil’s life is essentially as his mannequin. Yet somehow, it’s one of his proudest achievements.

“That’s sweet,” Amanda says. “You two must be very close.”

“I guess,” Phil replies. “Um, would you excuse me a sec? All this soda is going right through me.”

Amanda bursts into laughter. “Are you gonna pee in the hedge?”

Phil just laughs along with her. “Don’t see a convenient port-a-loo.”

“You’re a brave man,” Amanda says.

The car jostles, and then the tramp of Phil’s footsteps indicates his wander off into the wilderness. Dan pokes his head around the side of the car just in time to see his vague silhouette ducking into a thicket of branches a few meters away.

Dan pushes off the car then, pacing a few steps away to smoke in silence. A few moments of peace go by, and then he gets the uncanny sense that someone is closely observing him. He spins around to find Amanda stood a foot away, her glittery eyes trained on him.

“Sorry,” he says, though he doesn’t mean it. “Is the smoke bothering you?”

“Smoking will kill you,” she says, then steps towards him and plucks the cigarette from his fingers. “Or so they tell us.” 

She lifts it to her lips and takes a long, deep drag, eyes fluttering. In the milky moonlight, the sparkles refract, sending shimmery pearls rippling over the bracken nearby. 

Dan watches all of this in abject shock. Only a minute ago he’d have bet good money on the fact that Amanda Jones has never so much as sucked on Hardy’s vape stick. 

“Maybe I don’t wanna live that long,” Dan says, still wide-eyed as she hands the cigarette back to him. 

“Ooh,” Amanda says with a smirk. “Edgy.”

Despite himself, Dan feels his own mouth twitching. “Did you want something?”

“Yeah. I wanna know why you’re doing this.”

“Smoking? Well, I need some sort of vice to get through this. And I don’t have any coke to hand.”

Her features are utterly perfect, symmetrical and dainty. Even in the low evening light, she is an angel. “I mean the driving.” 

“I’m his mate,” Dan says, turning from her; he can’t look at something so beautiful anymore. It’s almost painful. “I’m doing him a favour.”

“Pretty big favour,” Amanda says. She holds out her hand for the cigarette again. Dan thinks about refusing her, but it would only make things awkward. He hands it to her carefully, and she takes a drag, sighing in pleasure. When their eyes meet, she says: “Are you in love with him?”

“What?” Dan almost drops the cigarette as she passes it. His heart pumps wildly. “Of course not.”

Amanda shrugs, smoothing down her long skirt. “Hey, my boyfriend of two years wouldn’t even open the car door for me. And look what you’re doing for your ‘mate’ for a few packs of Skittles.”

Dan scowls. “Maybe that’s more to do with your choice of boyfriend.”

Amanda fixes him with that laser stare again. There’s a glimmer of perpetual amusement in it, as though she sees something in Dan’s very essence that is laughable. It sets Dan’s teeth on edge.

“You don’t like me,” Amanda surmises, one eyebrow arching.

For a moment, Dan doesn’t know how to respond. If he verbalises his hatred, and all the reasons behind it, Phil will be angry.

“We’re not gonna be best buds, let’s put it that way,” Dan says.

“You don’t think I’m good enough for Phil, is that it?”

Dan rubs his eyes, exhausted by the evening already. He didn’t exactly get a lot of sleep last night. “Nobody is.”

“Except you?” Amanda smiles at the withering glance he gives in response. “Okay, fine. But Dan,” she sighs, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Phil is still out of sight. “We’re not that different, you know.”

The snort of laughter is so abrupt that it makes Amanda jump a little. “Right, yeah. We’re practically twins. Shall we get a blood test?”

She maintains her calm stare. “Think about it. We’re both from broken homes. Grew up on the wrong side of the tracks with families that don’t give a shit.”

“You, me and millions of other people all share that lovely background,” Dan says.

“Yes, true. But there’s more, isn’t there?” Amanda leans against the car, craning her neck towards the night sky. “We deal with our problems in the same way.”

“Whatever.”

“Look, I know the rumours about you,” she says. “Let’s just say I’m not the only one using my looks to get into places I don’t belong.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I? Dan, if I wasn’t pretty and skinny, I’d have no chance. I’d be like you, stuck here with no options. But I saw the opportunity to live a better life and I took it.” Amanda shrugs. Her eyes are hooded, sad. “I know Hardy’s a cheating dirtbag. I’m not blind. But being with him gets me the dolce vita. And yes, it’s superficial and elitist and despicable. Trust me, I hate myself enough for the both of us. But it’s better than the alternative.”

“If you really feel like that, then why are you here?” Dan spits. “Phil can’t take you to glamorous yacht parties or whatever bullshit you do with Jenns.”

Amanda smiles sadly, looking to her shoes. “I know that. I guess I just wanted a taste of this. To know what I’m missing. To know what it would be like if I’d been stronger, said no to Hardy’s advances, not taken the diamonds and the dresses. If I’d found myself a nice, normal boy, even if he had to save for three months and bribe his best friend to show me one fun night.”

“I don’t appreciate people using my friends,” Dan tells her, coldly.

“Oh, and he’s not using me?” Amanda rolls her eyes. “He doesn’t even know me, Dan. We’ve spoken twice before tonight. He tells himself he wants me because I’m pretty, and coveted. Quite clearly, he can’t see five feet in front of his nose to what he really wants.”

Dan frowns. “What are you getting at?”

It doesn’t look likely that Amanda is going to clarify her strange statement, but as it turns out, she doesn’t get the chance. Phil walks over, rubbing the hand sanitizer he’d brought along into his palms. As he approaches them, his expression drops into wariness.

“Hey,” he says cautiously, eyes flicking between Dan and Amanda. “Everything okay?”

“Whatever,” Dan says, then promptly stalks back to the driver’s seat. He brushes past Phil, who shoots him a ‘what’s going on’ look, but Dan ignores him, climbing into the driver’s seat without a word. Five minutes later, after collecting the pizza boxes and blankets from the bonnet of the car, Phil and Amanda get into the back, all smiles and chatter again.

“Next stop school please, driver,” Phil says cheerily. If he thinks Dan is going to find his pretence that Dan’s an actual chauffeur for this awful event cute or charming, he is very much mistaken. “Did you want some pizza, Dan? There’s a few slices left.”

“How considerate,” Dan almost snarls. “I’m fine, thanks.”

He turns the key in the ignition and backs the car out of the lot. It’s fourteen miles to the school from here, and it takes ten of those for Dan’s tight knuckles to un-whiten from where they’re gripped around the wheel.

(Chapter Eight!)

[comicteaparty]

June 24th-June 30th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from June 24th, 2019 to June 30th, 2019.  The chat focused on Drugs & Wires by Mary Safro & Io Black.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Drugs & Wires by Mary Safro & Io Black~! (https://www.drugsandwires.fail/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until June 30th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Who do you think made the Worm and for what reason? Why does it seem to mostly be affecting Stradania and not other places? Do you think Dan’s implant can ultimately be fixed, or is he stuck forever away from VR?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What aspect of the world’s cyberpunk setting interests you the most and why? Alternatively, what aspect are you hoping to see explored a bit more in regards to how it affects the characters?

RebelVampire

1) Gonna be a bit depressing when I say the bridge scene where Dan almost threw himself off it. Which I'm gonna spoiler tag the rest of this just as a suicide trigger warning precaution. I was 100% right there in the moment with him during that scene. Like I understood why he'd arrived at that conclusion, and it didn't come off as patronizing as I feel a lot of similar suicide scenes often do in comics. This is a man who even I felt really had nothing to live for, as sad as that is to say. Not that I wanted Dan to die, of course, but I get absolutely why he would. And then when he's saved, I liked that he is angry about it. Cause that is a dark reality I feel too many comics shy away from. And just all that gritty realism really hit me in the heart. 2) I don't know who made the worm and I don't think it matters all that much. Rather, I think the reason is more important, and the reason I think is to either kill VR or draw attention to Dan's shitty country. Which I kind of want to believe the latter, that this is somehow politically motivated. Or even if its the former, the idea is to get ppl more politically involved. That being said, I do think it's someone in Stradania who made it. As for Dan's implant being fixed, I don't think so. I don't think he'll be let off the hook that easy, and that he will continue to have to face his awful world for what it is, garbage and all.

3) Dan because he is the delicious epitome of a flawed protagonist. He's not mean, but between his drug problems, his crappy attitude towards most people, and so forth, he's got some real issues to work through. But that's great, cause at least that makes the few steps forward he's taken more satisfying. Since he's not getting those steps easy. He has to basically crawl through metaphorical lava to gain even 2 cm. 4) I really like the world's integration of VR and cybernetics. Like it's not on the level it's just there, but there's businesses around it, slang around it, and so forth. It's presented as this super ingrained culture thing, and that is super hard to play off. And it's just really well-done to see all the ways that those aspects bleed into their lives, whether the invention was intended to do so in that way or not.

Historical Jesus

I'm about to catch up. gimmy some time

RebelVampire

itll be going for the rest of the week, so theres no rush.

snuffysam

1) My favorite scene is the basement wake. It's a cool way to introduce those side characters (especially Vlad), and we were shown how our protagonist is seen through other people's eyes.

Like, we as the readers get to see Dan's struggles first-hand, but seeing the way Dan's "friends" think of him as a mindless junkie is really eye-opening

Re-reading the wake chapter made me think of something regarding question (2). Rebel, you suggested that the worm may have been made to kill VR. Could the reverse be true instead? Vlad has this speech about how the victims of the worm are martyrs, and the rest of the cast groans... but maybe he's not so far off.(edited)

My favorite character is Lin. On the surface, she's a terrible, shady person, but she's got heart where it counts! (in a trunk with a bunch of other organs)

Though I also really like Dan, for the same reasons as Rebel. He starts off in such a terrible place, and watching him take baby steps towards improvement is... honestly, uplifting, even if he does sometimes take some big steps backward.(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Do you think Dan will manage to find Eve again? If so, how might that affect him? Further, what do you think Dan’s past history is in general with his family and others that might play a role in the story?

Historical Jesus

Is the person writing this comic Russian

RebelVampire

cant speak for Io, but while not from Russia, Mary does speak Russian

Historical Jesus

SHe might have had family immigrate from Russia. This story just feels very Russian in the sense that everyone is down on their luck

But yeah. This story is freaking great!

Cryo

Hey, Mary here! I'm a Russian from Latvia, Io's German but I usually consult him on any Russian bits we have in the comic : D thanks so much for reading, loved seeing all the replies so far!

Historical Jesus

It's you

@Cryo Do you have experience with information security or bug hunting?(edited)

I mean, you sound like you REALLY understand hacker culture(edited)

Historical Jesus

ok I finished

1: Favorite scene? Hard to tell honestly. I like them all for different reasons. It's the continuum of the story I appreciate. The fact I'm always wanting to see what happens next? 2: Who made the worm. I've noticed that people who were infected had illegal copies of software. From a cybersecurity perspective, worms only work when either (A) someone finds a vulnurability that has never before been seem or (B) people don't update their shit for whatever reason. Hence why most software schedules mandatory updates. This could just be the inevitable conclusion to using pirated or older software. 3: Favorite character: Dan. I can relate to him the most. I don't do party drugs, just psycodelics.

4: Favorite aspect of cyberpunk. Historical relevance. In our past, rulers were privileged to rule because humans believed they were "ordained by God" to rule. European philosophers then said that the right to rule belongs to those who become the height of natural selection/ The premise being that there is no god and that we are "free agents" with "free will." No one is entitled to anything unless they produce something of value. This made perfect sense when manual labor was relevant and everything had to be done by hand. This includes pen and paper math. Hence why pay is exclusively based on labor value. Enter the age of technology fucked this up. Capitalism today is STUPIDLY efficient. We WHOOPED natural selections ass. We also learned that humans can't simply "change their outlook at will." Humans are mortal and are not much different than machines. The have needs and all that pesky human stuff. Some people could argue that healthier people have more free will than others, but poverty is the inevitable conclusion to this "free will" "labor value" mindset. But people think principles are sacred and set in stone. So what we are seeing is devalued labor and everyone becoming more poor and the formation of corporate oligarchies and dependences. Cyberpunk was WAY ahead of it's time in seeing this. We need to revisit this genre because I sure as shit don't want to live under a global illuminati with hard line cultural segregation.(edited)

Cryo

No, no real hacking experience here, I'm a 3d modeller by trade. We do our research when we can but our readers are a lot more technically minded than we are :p

Historical Jesus

I love 3D modeling

Attila Polyák

I'll be totally honest your work didn't really catch me at first, but I kept reading. Aaaaand dang that was a good decision. This is genuinely well made. I'm only at the end of chapter 4 but that bridge scene was great. I'm pretty sure it'll be my favourite scene but I need to read the rest first.

Historical Jesus

I have one of two options in life. Make high detailed models to sell on Gumroad or make comics. Gumroad will require constant adaptation to new software, but I already have my comic story structure fgiured out

Cryo

@Attila Polyák thanks for giving us a chance! Hope you enjoy the rest ( though chapter 5 is a lot less dramatic in comparison!)

Historical Jesus

Do you have a resolution in mind or are you just making it as you go?

Cryo

Yeah, we know where we're taking the story, but how it gets there can vary. Lots of the scenes we wrote years ago have to be tweaked or redone entirely to work

Historical Jesus

If the "free will" capitalist have their way, then we can expect the future to look very similar. Lots of poor people using lots of old tech. All software and hardware is closed sourced and locked down.The division between rich and poor will be larger than ever. Many of the zero days will be state sponsored much like they are now and they can use this to legally infect people and categorize them and use their own information against them if they ever become a threat to the state or the rich tech oligarchy

When I read this I got sense of creepy forcasting

More kids are playing with the Linux Kernal than smoking cigarettes so we might be ok

Historical Jesus

5: Favorite illustration? Anything that involved gif animations. That's not to say it should be overused but it was used at the right time

6a: Will Dan find Eve again? Probably. Since Cryo has a conceptual end in mind, I imagine she serves a key purpose in the plot. If they don't then it's likely that their actions will effect each other in some way.(edited)

6b: What is Dan's history with his parents? Let's look at who Dan is now. He's a poor drug addict who has had a dead end job. Yet he is not an overly angry person. Just depressed. He hangs around computer poetry people and other drug people. As a person who has experience with drugs, I noticed three types of people who do the dangerous drugs. At least in the US. They are... -People who have had repressive or needlessly strict parents. Thus overdoing drugs becomes associated with freedom and eventually a point of rebellion. But you can do too many of them. -People who are poor and need to sell them because they are poor. Naturally many of them do the drugs themselves so they naturally become addicted. -People who's parents are drug users themselves. The people who teach are schools will tell you it's that "people are trying to be cool" and it has nothing to do with that. Truth be told, they are hiding something. There is also a lot of dark racial history behind enhancing substances and the law and that can influence people's decision to take them, but I don't want to get into that because I don't want to get booted from this server.(edited)

Historical Jesus

Actually, @Cryo, would you be willing to give us a brief personal biography? Also, if you are, then can you tell us about your parents, what they did for a living, and the income situation you had growing up.(edited)

Why am I asking this? I think we can come up with more interesting answers about the comic if we know YOU as a person and how that influences your writing. I was able to infer that this story sounded Russian as fuck. Since the setting was Russian, I figured you were either from there or had family there

We can give more interesting answers that can help you come up with more interesting writing

RebelVampire

@Historical Jesus Your questions are getting a little personal, and while I understand the logic behind them, keep in mind we're here to discuss the comic and not the creators' personal lives.

keii4ii

Yeah... I feel even if the creators are okay with discussing it, this stuff is best left to DM

Historical Jesus

I understand. I would like to give her the choice. If she chooses not to then I understand. Biologically speaking, I think art is meant to be personal.

keii4ii

(and of course, if they don't want to discuss it, no one should pressure them about it )

RebelVampire

yeah if @Cryo wants to answer that's fine. Just for the future please keep those sorts of questions to a minimum and watch the wording on them. Cause that statement did sound overly pressure filled.

Historical Jesus

of course

keii4ii

I don't think we should be getting further into this territory?

RebelVampire

Agreed. This isn't a really appropriate topic for #week_long_bookclub, @Historical Jesus and has little to do with the comic.

Historical Jesus

I understand. I'm trying to demonstrate the the relevance and the benefits of understanding the author as a person. And again, it's her choice to choose what she discloses.

RebelVampire

And again, I get the logic. But just not appropriate for this discussion.

Historical Jesus

fair enough. I just want it to be known

I rephrased the question so it's less assertive. I apologies, I suck with social skills. Hopefully by the time she reads it, then it will be more inviting for her.

RebelVampire

thats better wording for sure, thank you.

Historical Jesus

no problem

art was definitely designed to be personal. The reason why a lot of big budget art feels bland is because it's meant for everyone and they have to not get too deep into offending people. Because it has to make money. That requires the work of a true genius. D&W is specialized and it will attract a certain group of people. Mostly people who value anonymous culture like myself. Or so I imagine.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Will Lin actually go through with her plan to get into politics? If so, do you believe she can actually make a difference? What obstacles do you think she might run into, and do you think Dan will be of any help to her?

Cryo

(i would appreciate not having to talk about my life and anyones political beliefs neither here nor in DMs, thanks for understanding)(edited)

Historical Jesus

Understood

Historical Jesus

7: Dan, primarily because he is relatable. He would interact the way I would. Not having money sucks.

Historical Jesus

8: Will in go into politics? Probably not. She strikes me as a neroatypycal character. I could be wrong though.

RebelVampire

@snuffysam If the worm was designed to improve VR, I really want to meet the person who decided that making ppl martyrs was the way to go. Cause that's some backwards thinking, imo at least XD

5) There's a lot of really great ones, but I'm kind of fond of the illustration of Dan puking up rainbows. It's this cool mix of gross, psychedelic, and not what I expected. It expressed a lot of mood somehow for something that's less grand than I usually pick. 6) I think Dan will find Eve again, if only cause from a technical perspective she was introduced super early on to not be important. However, I think meeting her again is just gonna make him feel bad about himself as he realizes how little his baby steps of improvement are. In regards to his family, just gonna be bold and say my theory: his dad is part of that political group that took control and really hates cyborgs and technology and all that. Thus they were probably not the most open-minded and rejected Dan in multiple ways both through emotional abuse and neglect.

7) I like seeing Dan and Troy right now. Everyone else in the comic is kind of...shitty towards Dan. Like i know Dan isn't the greatest person, but I would hate to be in the situation where I'm constantly being told I'm a junkie who won't amount to anything. Which I mean don't get me wrong, those are interesting interactions. But Troy? Troy is this new person whose only experience with Dan is kind of a nice if not high tension one. Troy comes with a fresh, no prior knowledge of Dan perspective, and I think that's really interesting and gonna be a good way to shed new light on Dan's more positive traits. 8) I think Lin will try to go through with it, but I think Lin is fighting a losing game. Short of stuffing the ballot, I don't think those she's trying to help will vote for her. Instead they'll just bitch and be complacent to the world around them. But on that same vain, Lin probably could just stuff the ballots to win. I umm...honeslty don't think Dan can help her in anyway. Dan is really busy helping himself to suck less at the moment. XD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. What do you think Sandman and Fixer will find in regards to the Worm as the story continues, and what does the VR cafe Sandman has been hacking have to do with anything? How will Nate tie into this given he’s looking for Fixer?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Overall, what role do you think Troy will have within the story? Additionally, how will she get out of her situation with having no ID, money, or much in the way of people she knows?

Historical Jesus

9: The art against the web design literally looks like something we would see at Def Con

10: I image he has a lead. After all his motivation is revenge

11: it’s strength is that it's good at making people empathize with characters even if you can't relate to them

12: I don't think Troy will get out of her situation. If she comes back to the states empty handed she will be fired. It might be in her best interest to get wrapped up in finding the worm programmer

Typically speaking large scale worms are state sponsored but it's not clear how far this thing actually spreads.

RebelVampire

9) My favorite details so far have been the small things in the background. Like the random graffiti on the walls, the cracks and dilapidation of the buildings, all the small do-dads in Lin's place. Like none of that needs to be there to create a complete background, but it adds so much character to the setting and each character. So I really appreciate the extra mile taken for that. 10) I think Sandman and Fixer are gonna find that some corporation or someone high up on some food chain made it on purpose. As for the VR cafe? Honestly, I think it's a red herring and Sandman is making an excuse to target them just cause he hates them. As for Nate, I think Nate is gonna join the investigation team but also kind of serve as a negotiator between Fixer and Dan. Cause I don't think those two will get along without help.

11) I think this comic's strengths are a) the setting both visually and story wise, as it's a really strong and vivid setting. then b) Dan. It is very, very hard to write a character like Dan. There are so many things he does that could immediately make him unlikeable, what between the drugs, self destruction, and general assholeness to some of the ppl around him. but yet he is likeable. you do want to see him succeed and not suffer. yet you also still can acknowledge hes unreliable. its a great dynamic that lesser writing could not pull off. 12) I think Troy is gonna be their viewport into the corporate world. Which I think will play a role since there is a themeing here about evil corporations. Plus, she at least knows some stuff better than they do, as she already showed off at the VR cafe. But getting out of it? Nope. Shes stuck and probably gonna make another panicked call to Dan at some point. And Dan will be an angel and help again.

snuffysam

I'm going to go out on a limb here. Not only will Lin go through with running for office, she'll win. And she won't even have to stuff the ballot that much. But... I'm not sure her fight will be over there. After all, there's more than just one corrupt person in the country. I agree with you on the investigation into the Worm, @RebelVampire . I think someone up the corporate ladder is responsible. With that said, I don't think Sandman is targeting the VR cafe for nothing. I think he's trying to draw more attention to their security flaws for... some reason. I guess to get more people involved in investigating? I doubt he foresaw Troy showing up and offering to upgrade the cafe's machines though, so I that probably isn't part of his plan. I think a major part of Dan's character arc going forward will be accepting that he doesn't need Eve. Like, accepting that he doesn't need her help to get better, and that he's the only one he needs to prove his progress to.

Dan's character writing is absolutely my favorite part of this comic. In a weaker comic, I would absolutely hate how a self-destructive character like Dan is portrayed. Like, often characters with addiction/other mental health problems in fiction come off as unlikeable, or too cartoonish, or too depressingly stagnant (at least, from what I've seen in other works of fiction). But Drugs & Wires strikes a great balance where character progression isn't always linear, and isn't always positive, but it's there, and that fluidity makes you want to root for him more each chapter.

Attila Polyák

Now that I finally read all of it... 1, The bridge scene at the end of chapter 4, that was really done. 2, Dan's implant... I'm pretty sure it can be fixed, but I have doubts if Dan will ever have the resources to have it fixed. As a matter of fact I feel like he'll never have the money or influence to have it fixed and the way it is he can't really replace it either, so... He's probably stuck without VR. 3, Lin! She's awesome! 4, Probably the grey market implant dealers, even though that's kinda bog standard cyberpunk stuff. :) 6, Yes, they will probably meet again. And yes, I do feel like we'll need to see more of Dan't past history especially about how he got involved in... well in everything that's his current life. 7, Nagy, as surreally odd, is a great addition to Dan. Like at times I thought his absurdity would actually help Dan. 8, Ofc she will, you don't forge that much "voter trust" for nothing. And Dan, tho probably seemingly unwillingly, will likely help her one way or another.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you think Dan will ever be able to kick his drug habit, or will he continue to fall back into it forever? How will this affect his relationships? Further, how will his habits shape his future role in the story?

RebelVampire

13) I'm looking forward to getting more info about the worm. Cause right now I dont feel any more knowledgeable than I did at the start, and I'm itching to see Sandman, Fixer, or Dan to somehow get a bigger clue to what's going on. 14) I think both will apply. In that Dan will kick the habit eventually but will always be at risk because addiction is not really something you just completely cure. It's a battle he'll have for his entire life, even if he learns to manage it. As for for his relationships, I don't think it'll have much affect, tbh. Maybe things with Lin will improve, maybe Eve. But everyone else is kind of a jerk who already writes him off. Dan is in need of a fresh start somewhere far away.

Historical Jesus

13: Same here. I would like to know more about the worm. I hope that Cyro puts a cool technical characteristic into the worms behavior so that creates interesting and unique challenges for the characters 14: Statistically speaking most people do not kick their drug habit's. Especially not in the position he is in. Based on the story's cultural nature, I doubt the ending will be happy. But I am sure it will be interesting

Cryo

Thanks so much for picking and reading our comic this week! I've had a great time reading all the replies, especially since we don't hear from new readers often, and it's gonna come in handy when we get back into writing more stuff for the comic.

snuffysam

I had a great time reading it, Cryo!

Io.Black

Just wanted to add my own thanks to everybody who took the time to read and comment this past week. As a writer, it’s always incredibly valuable to get a sense of what people are taking away from your work, as well as where they think it’s headed.

RebelVampire

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[justablueeyedscribe]

Chapter Five

Sounds Like A Joke

Summary: The day that the Creepers adopted the human baby into their colony was a memorable one, for everyone except for Gavin. He goes through life not knowing he was human and doesn’t question it when he is the only ‘creeper’ that can shoot bows and can’t explode. But when a small group of people come to the abandoned island, he figures out, quickly, all the answers to his questions. WC: 1,282 Rating: PG (Future Swearing)

Chapter Five: A Meeting

One of the elders of the creepers stood high above the others. “Attention my colony,” he hissed loudly. All creepers silenced immediately. Gavin, who was now eleven, looked up from playing with the edge of his cloak that was a bit worn from dragging on the ground. “There are humans on our island,” a terrified but unnecessary scream came from the group. “But do not worry. We must call upon the brave to try and chase the humans away. While the brave few try, everyone must stay away from the south side of the island.” The elder looked around, “If you believe you are some of the brave few please step forward and talk to one of the elders.” The elder nodded, notifying that he was done with his announcement. Some creepers stepped forward signing up for the defense of their tiny island.~

As time went on Gavin continued to go and train with multiple mobs so he could protect himself from dangers. He eventually earned the freedom to leave by himself to wander around the island but he, along with many, where still band from the south side of the island. He now knew what humans were, they were dangerous, no good, and will easily finish off Gavin’s family and everyone around him. The creeper boy had heard stories of mobs disappearing because of close contact with the humans. After a year of avoiding the south side of the island, Gavin’s curiosity got the best of him~

Gavin, who was now twelve, hopped easily from tree top to tree top and followed the trail of rotten flesh and bones that were dropped from defeated mobs. Over the year he had watched the humans fight and saw that they always leave these things on the ground and move on. The human he was following was smaller and clearly younger than the others. Seeing how fast the human was moving, the creeper boy figured that the human must have been scared and lost.

Gavin really wanted to drop down and point the dark-haired human boy in the right direction but his mother had warned him about staying away from the human settlement. That warning kept playing in the back of his head Humans hurt us, you will be safe as long as you stay away. The creeper boy shook his head, realizing that he had stopped and the human had gotten farther away. He looked up to the sky and saw dark clouds rolling in and the sky light up. Gavin started to move again, hoping to find the human before he had to go back home. 

After a few more minutes looking for the human, Gavin gave up. He went to turn around and head back to the cave but a light caught his eye. It was from a cave that, he knew for a fact, didn’t have lava in it. He went to go check it out and found the human. The creeper boy slowly made his way down the tree as it started to downpour. He quietly hid beside the entrance as he debated whether or not to approach. At the moment he listened to the human mumble in the language in his dreams. Then, there was a loud boom, then a lightning strike that caused Gavin to jump and hiss, loudly.

The human yelled something toward the entrance of the cave but the creeper boy didn’t understand. Then he felt a sting in his arm and fell to his knees. He looked up and saw the human looking down at him, his mouth open and a stone sword pointing downwards dripping red from one side. Gavin stood up and tried to run away but was tackled to the ground. The rain started to fall from the sky, drenching the boys in seconds. They wrestled on the ground for, what felt like, hours but only ended up being a few minutes. Gavin was trying to outlast the small human but he ran out of energy before the other child did. The dark haired boy dragged Gavin into the cave and into the circle that was made with torches.

The creeper boy weakly struggled against the human, fearing the worst, fearing that he will never see his mother and father again. When the human let him go Gavin watched as the human went to his leather bag by the entrance of the cave. How is he going to get rid of me? He watched as the human started to dig through the bag. Gavin looked back and forth from the human and the entrance of the cave. With a burst of adrenaline, Gavin got up and bolted to the entrance of the cave. He felt his feet go from touching stone to touching the grass, for a moment he thought he was going to get away in the dark and be able to get back home where he would be safe with mom and dad. Then he was once again tackled into the mud. Gavin tried his best to crawl away but the human boy was much stronger and just drag him by the arms back to the cave.  The human pushed Gavin into the far side of the cave and place himself between him and the entrance of the cave. The small human child was once again digging through his leather bag. Gavin’s mind was once again racing with the worst possible scenario.

The brown haired human child walked up to the creeper boy with a bottle of water and some bread. He handed them to Gavin. The boy in green slowly took them from the human. He sniffed the bread and took a small bite. This is the most delicious thing ever! He thought as he shoved the rest of the bread into his face. He then opened the bottle of water, sniffed that as well then drank it. It’s not poison, it’s just water. Is this a peace offering? He thought. The human child signed in relief and started speaking in the familiar language but didn’t understand. Then the child stopped when he saw the confused look on the creeper boy’s face. The human then placed a hand on his chest, “I am Dan,” he said repeating it a few times while pointing to himself.  Gavin nodded and repeated the same language he just heard from Dan. “Dan,” he said pointing to the human across from him. Dan clapped, “Yes! Do you speak any words like me?” Gavin again gave him a confused look. “I guess that’s a no. I got it!” he said snapping his fingers.

Dan went to his leather bag and dug around, he pulled out a book. He then sat next to his new wild friend. Gavin still looked confused as his new human friend opened the book. The pages where full of pictures and words. Gavin saw pictures of apples, the bread he just ate, spiders, humans, skeletons, creepers and a lot more. Dan pointed at the picture of the apple and repeated the word a couple of times. Gavin pointed at the apple, hissed in his creeper language then repeated the word in the human language. After an hour or so, Gavin was almost speaking in full sentences but still missed some words. The two boys looked out and saw that the sun was rising. “Home,” said Gavin getting up. Dan also got up, “You have to go home? I also have to go home. We should meet back here tomorrow!” Gavin smiles and nodded, “Yes.” Dan put the book in his bag and put the bag on his shoulder, “It was nice meeting you friend,” said the human. Gavin smiled, “Friend.”

Last Chapter —– Next Chapter Read it on AO3

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick & Reader Chapter 46

warnings: sm*t

You flop around on the bed in the dark and sigh loudly. You're not the one getting married tomorrow, but you're still nervous and you’re hoping like hell nothing goes wrong. John is still out with Jimmy and you look up to check the time, 12:39 AM. Another big sigh.

Bleu is at the foot of the bed and he perks up, hearing noises coming from downstairs. He stands up and wags his tail as John slowly opens the door, tiptoeing and trying to be as quiet as possible so he doesn’t wake you up.

“Hey, buddy.” he whispers and kisses Bleu on top of his head, “Hope you were a good boy while I was gone.”

Your face is hidden by the blanket and you smile to yourself when you hear John talking to Bleu. He’s so fucking cute, you think to yourself and pretend you’re still sleeping just in case John keeps talking to Bleu.

John quietly heads into the bathroom and moments later, he emerges in just his boxers and even in those alone, you can see the huge bulge he’s always hiding. He heads over to the sliding door and opens it, stepping out onto the balcony with Bleu. You get off the bed and peek your head out the door, watching John as he looks out across the backyard.

“Babe? Hey, are you okay?” you ask, worry in your voice.

“Hey, baby.” he smiles as he turns around, reaching out for you, “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

You wrap your arms around John’s waist and smile up at him, “No, Tess left about an hour ago, and I was waiting for you to get home before I went to sleep.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think we’d be out so late.”

“It’s okay.” you snuggle into his arms and he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“It’s warm out tonight.” he says and leans over the ledge to look at the backyard. The garden lights are on and the backyard looks quiet and serene. “I think tomorrow is going to be the perfect night. I tested out the patio lights before I came up, it’s going to look beautiful.”

“I hope so.” you sigh and John looks down at you.

“So, how was your night?” he asks and sits down on the patio chair, pulling you into his lap.

“It was fine. We watched a movie, well, attempted to watch a movie, my mom talked the whole time. Wanted to know all about you and I. Our relationship, our future, if we’re getting married, if we’re having kids, everything.” you sigh loudly and lean back against John, playing with his fingers, “Moms are exhausting. She means well, but gosh.”

“She’s just being a mom. You’d do the same if our daughter was living with someone.”

“I would, but you would be so much worse.” you laugh and John nods in agreement. “You’d probably have Jimmy do a whole background check on them or something.”

“Yeah, I’d just want her to be safe. Also, I can find way more information than Jimmy can.”

“Well, please promise me that you’ll never pull a shotgun out and threaten the poor child when they try to take our daughter to prom.” you say and you both start to laugh.

He nods, “I promise.”

“Also, uh…” you swallow hard and look at John, “She wanted to know about your job. She said there was no way that you got all of this from bookbinding. ”

John looks up at you worriedly, “What did you say?”

“I just said that you have a really good job and that we’re really fortunate. And somehow she took that as you…working for the FBI.”

John stares at you for a moment then starts to laugh, “She thinks I work for the FBI?”

“Something along the lines of the FBI, yeah.” you laugh and lean forward to kiss John. “Tess was no help at all. She just laughed.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t blurt it out.” he laughs.

You play with the edge of your shirt and look up at John, “Is that okay…that I said that? I mean it would help explain why you’re gone sometimes, and why you sometimes come home with cuts and bruises.”

John laughs again and shrugs, “Yeah, it works.”

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” you frown a little and John squeezes you tight in his arms. “I’m not good at coming up with shit like you are.”

John cocks up an eyebrow and laughs, “What does that mean?”

“You came up with a lie every time you left for work before I knew everything, and you made it seem so…effortless.” you shrug and look at him, “I could never do that.”

John gets quiet and looks down at his hand on your thigh. He takes a deep breath and nods, “Yeah.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to like…imply that lying to me was easy for you, I’m sure it wasn’t. I know it wasn’t.” you cover your face with your hands and sigh loudly, “Just forget I said anything.”

“Hey,” he removes your hands from you face and smiles, “You did perfect. What else did she ask?”

“Oh, uh…” you dodge John’s gaze quickly and shrug, “Just about work.”

“You’re such a liar.” he laughs, tickling your side, “What else did she ask?”

“She asked if we were going get married and if we were going to have kids.” you say and decide to leave out that she told you that John asked for her blessing.

“Oh.” he says and taps your arm to get you to stand up. You rest your back against the ledge of the balcony and John stands in front of you, “Did you tell her yes?”

“I just told her that we don’t know.” you say and look up at John.

John furrows his brow and tilts his head, “You don’t know if we’re getting married?”

“I mean…” you shrug as a smile spreads across your face, “You haven’t asked me yet, so…”

“Subtle.” he laughs and leans forward to kiss you.

“Hey, why did you call me tonight?”

“Just wanted to check up on you and hear your voice, which only backfired since I couldn’t hear anything in there.” John nods to the bedroom and he wraps his arms around your waist as you walk back into the bedroom.

He turns around to close the sliding door, but when he sees Bleu laying on the balcony, he leaves it open enough for him to come in when he’s ready. You crawl back into bed, and John finally notices your pajamas and laughs.

“My shirt again. I really need to buy you your own pack of t-shirts. You’re hoarding all my good ones.” he laughs and scoots in next to you, fixing the blankets.

“No, I like your shirts. I don’t want my own. These shirts always smell like you and they…they always make feel better when you’re gone.” you frown and John starts to laugh.

“I’m not leaving anytime soon, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

You start to smile again as John pulls you closer, “So, how was your night? Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, we stopped by Aurelio’s shop, then we all went out to the bar. Jimmy got completely drunk, sang some karaoke.” he laughs.

“You sang karaoke?” you sit up and look at John.

He shakes his head and pulls you back down to him, “No, I wasn’t drunk enough for that. I had a drink or two -- I was fine to drive, don’t worry, but I practically had to carry Jimmy into the guest room.” he laughs and looks down at you, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“I don’t know, I was just gone longer than I wanted to be.” he says and tangles his legs with yours, “I know you’re nervous about tomorrow, hoping everything will go as planned and I wanted to be here with you.”

You sigh deeply and stretch out, looking up at the ceiling, “Yeah. It’s just her wedding, you know? I just want everything to go as planned and just be…smooth and perfect for them.”

“It’ll be perfect. We got the DJ, we got the photographer, the food will be good, they picked a really good place to cater. The lights on the patio look really nice. Stop worrying about everything, peach.”

“I know, I know.” you look over at John, watching a smile spread across his face.

“I can’t wait see you in your dress again.” he says, staring at you in awe and leans over to kiss you, “You’re going to look so beautiful.”

“I can’t wait to watch you walk Tess down the aisle. That really killed me when she asked you.” you press your hand over your heart and smile.

“Did you know?”

You shake your head, “No, I really had no idea she was going to ask. I mean I know she considers you to be like a brother to her, but we never even talked about this before, so I thought she was just going to walk down the aisle by herself, or maybe ask Dan.”

“Think he’ll be upset?”

You shake your head again and look over at John, “No, he’s literally the nicest man on this planet, aside from you, of course.” you say and John lets out a small laugh. “I think my mom and him understand that it’s just us here. Tess and I only have you and Jimmy.”

“That’s true.” he nods.

“I really missed you tonight.”

“I missed you, too.” John says, reaching out to hold your hand.

“I hate that we haven’t had any time for just the two of us lately.” you sigh loudly, almost on the verge of tears and John looks over at you. “I feel like I haven’t been alone with you in forever. We’ve just been so fucking busy.”

“I know, but at least we’ve been together. We still got to sleep together every night and spend all day together.” he pulls your hand up to his mouth and presses a few kisses to it.

“It’s not the same though, I wanna be with you…alone.” you sigh and look over at John, “I shouldn’t complain though. We’ve been together and that’s what matters.”

“You’re going to regret saying this when everyone is gone.” he laughs.

“Yeah, I know.” you say quietly and start to laugh, “Hey, at least I won’t have a little kid’s foot digging into my back any time soon.”

“Benji really sprawled out the other night, didn’t he?” John laughs and rolls on his side to face you, “I had a lot of fun watching them with you. I definitely wouldn’t have known what to do when Benji got sick, and I wouldn’t have known how to entertain two kids.”

“You would have figured it out.” you laugh.

“That’s not true.”

“You would have just called whoever you were dating.” you say and look over at John, “Probably your favorite girl, uh, what was her name again? The one you who had the really bad date with.”

“Rachel.”

You snap your fingers, “Rachel!”

“Actually, I called her first. Guess she was busy.” John jokes and you open your mouth in shock as you both begin to laugh.

“Still wanna hear about that horrible date, by the way.” you say and John laughs quietly.

“A story for another night.”

“Is it weird if I admit that I kinda miss them? The kids, I mean.” you roll over and scoot close to John’s face. His breath smells like whiskey, but it makes you feel warm. “The house is so quiet now, and just having them around was really fun.”

“Well, we’ll get to see them tomorrow.” he says and laughs, “I can’t wait to see Harper in a little dress.”

“I know, she’s gonna look adorable, and I bet Benji will look so handsome in a little suit.”

You and John stare at each other, taking in how effortlessly you’ve worked kids into tonight’s conversations. He reaches out, touching your cheek and leans in to kiss you.

“We have a busy day tomorrow, we should probably get some sleep.” he yawns.

“Yeah, probably.” you say and roll onto your back, still holding John’s hand.

John leans over to kiss you and presses a kiss to your hand again, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you say and stare at the ceiling.

__

It’s been about an hour since John fell asleep and you’re still wide awake staring at the ceiling. John still has a tight grip on your hand and you slowly untangle your fingers, and he rolls over on his side with his back to you. You sit up a little to check the clock and sigh, Yup, it’s been hour.

As quietly as you can, you let out another small sigh and flop around on the bed, and you reach over to grab your phone. You scroll through your phone, checking your Instagram feed, and you smile when you see Aurelio has posted a picture of him and John. It’s a little blurry, but he still looks handsome as hell. You decide to leave a nice comment on it and lock your phone.

John shifts in a place a little and you freeze, waiting for him to fall back sleep. You place your phone back on your side table and lean over his shoulder, trying to get a good look at his face. His eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted, his breathing is even and you have to admit; he looks like an angel.

“John?” you whisper.

“Yeah?” he replies, and his voice is quiet but deep.

“Uh, are you awake?”

“Obviously,” he lets out a small laugh, “I can't sleep with you flopping around.”

“Oh...sorry.” you say quietly like a child who has just gotten in trouble.

Suddenly, you're incredibly uncomfortable and need to flop around some more. You hop off the bed and lay on the floor, sprawling across the rug.

The room floods with light as John turns on the lamp, and he sits up and starts laughing. “What are you doing down there?”

“I can't sleep.”

“Neither can I. Get back up here.” he says, a smiling spreading across his face, “Did you really think laying on the floor would help you sleep?”

“No, but all my flopping around wouldn’t bother you.” you say as you crawl back into bed.

“You weren’t bothering me, I was waiting for you to start talking to me again though.” he laughs and lays on his back as you lay down next to him. He reaches over to turn off the light and the room goes dark again.

You snuggle into John’s arms and inhale his cologne, “You smell good.”

“I do?”

“Mhm.” you practically moan when his hand dives under the blanket and lands on your thigh. His warm hand is such a contrast to your cold skin and you shiver.

“Can I help you sleep?” he asks, his thumb rubbing over your knee.

“How are you gonna help? You gonna sing to me?” you look up at him and he licks his lips, sliding his hand between your legs onto your thigh. “Oh. Yeah, you can help.”

John leans close to your face and you cup his cheek in your hand as you slide your tongue into his mouth. He hugs you tighter as he runs his hand up your thigh and he pulls back when he realizes you're not wearing underwear. You tilt your head back to look at him and when your eyes meet, you smile proudly.

“You’re not wearing any underwear.”

“Nope.” you pull your shirt up more and John’s left hand slides between your legs.

“You little sneak.” he leans down, kissing you mercilessly.

“Mmm, I missed your hands on me tonight.” you say in between kisses.

“I missed my hands on you, thought about you all night. Kinda wished you would have come out with us.”

“Oh, just kinda?” you laugh.

“No, I really wish you would have come out with us, even Jimmy said he wished Tess was there.” he says and smiles when you look at him. “I really missed you.”

As John slowly inserts his fingers, your eyes roll shut and you cover your mouth. You nod your head and squint your eyes open to look at John, “I missed you, too.”

From the moonlight spilling into the room, he can see you and he moans watching his fingers sliding over your pussy, “You’re so wet for me.”

“As soon as I saw you come out of the bathroom with just your boxers on, I knew there was no way I was going to bed until you touched me.”

“You could have said something an hour ago.” he laughs and leans down to kiss you.

“I know, but you were tired.” you close your eyes, spreading your legs further as John rubs circles on your clit.

“Never too tired to touch you though.” He looks at the door and jumps up quickly to lock it. When he turns around, he freezes in place as you pull your shirt off and caress your breasts. “You're killing me.”

“We don't have to have sex, we can just…fool around.” you wiggle your eyebrows and he climbs back into bed, tackling you. You lean up to kiss him and giggle loudly when he rubs his beard against your neck.

“Shh...” he presses his finger to your lips and you open your mouth to suck on it. “Taste yourself?”

“Yup.” you nod and watch as John sucks on his fingers.

He starts to laugh and rubs his beard against your neck again. You try to squirm away from him, but he lays on top of you to keep you in place. You tug at his boxers and he quickly kicks them off. “So, what do you want?”

“Um...” you lay back again and he hovers over you, “What are my options?”

“Well,” John leans down, kissing over your chest and smiles, “Whatever you want. I’ll do anything. Whatever you want, baby.”

“Whoa, cool it down with all the options.” you laugh. His hand is on your stomach and you grab it, moving it lower. “Let’s start with this.”

“Okay.” he smiles and spreads your legs. He licks his fingers and starts rubbing your clit slowly.

As he inserts one finger, you cover your mouth, “More...more, baby.” you let out a small moan in the palm of your hand as John inserts another finger, “Your fingers are so thick, fuck.”

“You feel...” he moans when your fingers wrap around his cock and you begin stroking him slowly. He looks down to watch and moans again, this time a little louder.

“I feel like what?” you laugh when you see his mouth hanging open.

“You feel like heaven.” he looks at you and smiles. He flicks his fingers and you ground down on them and slowly rotate your hips. “I want to try something.”

“Ooh, kinky.” you say, teasing.

“Stop.” he laughs.

He hops off the bed and grabs the chair near the window, then places it in front of the floor length mirror on the wall. He sits down and slap his thighs, “Have a seat.”

You turn on the lamp and laugh, “I thought we weren't having sex.”

“I never said I didn't want to have sex.” he whispers and points to the floor, “Your mom and Jimmy are right under us, you gotta be quiet.”

You get off the bed and walk over to John, then sit in his lap, “You just wanna watch?”

He scoots you back in the most awkward position, but he seems to enjoy it so you go along. Slowly, he rubs circles on your clit and you feel yourself growing wetter by the second. You start stroking him again and he moans against your arm, pressing kisses to your skin.

“Fuck this.” he picks you up and lays you back on the bed, then crawls back on top of you, burying himself inside of you with one hard thrust. When your gazes meet, he smiles and you reach up to bring his lips to yours.

“I knew you wouldn't last.” you whisper in his ear and he jerks his hips.

“I'm not going to last now.” he laughs and sucks on your neck.

He lifts your leg up and hoists it over his shoulder, moving in deeper. He rotates his hips in a way he’s never done before and you widen your eyes.

“You've never done this before.” you smile and cover your face with your hands as he continues. “Rotating your hips like this, in this position.”

“Feel good?”

“So good. Keep doing it.” you moan quietly into your hand.

“You're so flexible.” he laughs and presses a kiss to your knee, “It's hot. How long did you do gymnastics?”

You close your eyes and open your mouth to moan as John thrusts deeper. You grab at his biceps, squeezing lightly to silently tell him to slow down. If he goes too fast, you’ll come too soon and you definitely don’t want that right now. John seems to know what you want and he slows down.

You open your eyes again, blinking at John a few times and smile, “Um…what were talking about?”

“Gymnastics.”

“Oh, yeah…my mom put Tess and I in gymnastics when we were little because we had so much energy and she just had enough of us. I continued with it until high school. Tess quit in middle school.”

“So, you can like…do the splits, kick your leg up high and stuff?” he asks and leans down with your leg still over his shoulder, kissing your breast and testing your flexibility.

“My leg is literally over your shoulder right now, John. Yes, I can do the splits and stuff.”

John presses another kiss to your leg and he looks back at you, “That's so fucking hot. Of course I’ll need to see more of it.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. My leg over your shoulder isn’t enough, you gotta have more proof.” you say jokingly and John laughs.

Beads of sweat are forming on John's forehead and his thrusts are getting harder. You moan loudly and John immediately presses his hand over your mouth to quiet it. He moves your other leg over his shoulder as his thrusts become deep and hard. The bed slowly starts to creak louder and louder to John’s horror, and he completely stops moving.

“Nooo, keep going.” you whisper.

“Your mom is going to know.” he says and moves your legs down from his shoulders.

“She's a heavy sleeper, I promise she won't know. ” you shake your head fast and grab at his ass, trying to make him move. “John!”

“What about Jimmy? He’s right down there, too.”

“He’s passed out drunk. He’s not going to wake up and hear us.” John still won't move, so you shove him off and crawl on top of him, “Fine, then I'll do all the work.”

You grind down hard on him and his breath gets caught in his throat, “Baby, I can't.”

“Yes, you can.” you say, leaning close to his face and kissing him all over. When you see John staring at you, you start to get off of him. “Okay, I’ll get off of you.”

“No!” he whispers loudly and holds you in place.

“Well, you obviously don’t want to have sex.” you laugh.

John shakes his head and caresses your hips, moving his hands to your ass. “I do! I do, it’s just…your mom is right there.”

“She’s not going to hear us, I promise.” you smile at John and lean down to kiss him. “Come on, John. I want you, baby.”

“That’s unfair. You know I’m going to give you what you want.”

“So give me what I want.” you say and he holds you in place, thrusting hard a few times as he moans. You pull him to sit up and your mouths meet for a wet kiss. “Thank you.”

“It’s gonna be hard to keep my hands to myself tomorrow. Seeing you in that dress at the bridal shop almost killed me, so I can’t imagine what it’ll be like tomorrow when you’re all fixed up.” he says, then closes his eyes as you slowly grind against him. “You always look so beautiful, but knowing I can’t have you tomorrow is going to be so hard for me.”

The two of you hold tight to each other as you buck your hips together, moaning quietly and breathlessly in the crooks of each other's necks. Your fingers tangle in his hair and you press your lips to his neck, squeezing your eyes shut. You cover your mouth with your hand and moan as you feel yourself starting to unravel.

Maintaining eye contact, John’s eyes are dark yet soft and his body starts to twitch. You feel a chill down your spine as you come, moaning and still riding John as the pleasure takes over. You open your mouth and John quickly presses his hand to it as you moan a little too loud.

“You’re so loud tonight.” John says as a smug smile spreads across his face.

“Fuck,” you hold tight to John, letting out a final moan as he jerks his hips, spilling into you. “Oh, my god.”

Still staring at each other, John leans forward to kiss you and holds you to his chest as he lays back down on the bed. Out of breath and tired, you roll off John and fan yourself.

“Hot?”

“Yeah, I’m melting.” you laugh and grab your hair tie from the side table, quickly pulling your hair away from your face, “Ew, my hair is all wet. I’m so sweaty.”

“Still look beautiful to me.” he says, kissing you and he sits up to pull on his pajama pants.

“Here.” you grab another hair tie from your side table and hand it to John.

He looks at it and laughs, then looks back at you, “What’s this for?”

“To put your hair up.” you smile at John and reach out to pull his hair up and away from his face. “Let me put your hair into a bun.”

“Okay…” John laughs and smiles at you as you move to kneel behind him. You try to put his hair into a bun, but it’s too wet from sweat and you huff as you plop down on the bed. “Let me do it.”

You lay down on your stomach and watch John as he pulls a few locks of hair into the pony tail. His hair is too short and it barely fits into a bun, but he looks damn cute.

“Stop it, you look so fucking cute.” you say and watch John’s cheeks turn bright red. “If my phone wasn’t four feet away from me, I would totally take your picture right now.”

John reaches out for you and you wrap your legs around his waist as you sit in his lap. You’re still naked and John looks down at your body, smiling and licking his lips. The two of you study each others faces and you smile at John when he leans forward to kiss you.

“I could stare at you for the rest of my life and never get sick of your face.” you say, rubbing John’s back lightly.

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” John’s eyes dart over your face and he leans his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. He moves you back to the bed and stands up, “I should let Bleu out one last time before bed, and I’m gonna grab some water.”

“Well, I'll be here…” you say, wrapping your arms around his waist and kissing his back, “Patiently waiting for you to return.”

__

Bleu comes running into the room and hops on the bed, quickly making himself comfortable and falling asleep. John shuts the door behind him and stares at you, mortified. “Um, baby, your mom was awake the whole time. She heard everything.”

You shoot up and cover your mouth, “What?”

“Yeah, she just gave me a lecture.” he says and you start to tear up from embarrassment.

“Oh, my god. Did she ask you inappropriate shit too? She’s done that before.” you say and flop back on the bed, covering your face with a pillow. “I want to crawl under a rock, this is so embarrassing.”

John starts to laugh and you move the pillow to watch as he sits back down on the bed. You sit back up and look at him as he laughs harder.

“Why are you laughing? This is embarrassing!”

“I’m just fucking with you.”

“Jonathan Wick, that is not funny.” you back away from him, but he grabs you and pulls you back to him.

“I don't know, I thought it was funny.” he laughs, pressing kisses to your face.

“Oh yeah, you're such a comedian.” you laugh and shake your head.

“What kind of inappropriate stuff has she asked?” he looks at you, intrigued.

“Oh, she wanted to know when my first time was and how I was feeling after, which is an embarrassing story.” you look up at John and laugh, “My mom and I are close, well, my mom Tess and I are all really close. I mean not like weirdly close or anything, she’s not gonna ask how big you are, favorite positions or anything like that. My mom, that is. Tess, on the other hand, she wants to know everything about you. I don’t kiss and tell though.”

John jokingly wipes his brow and exhales, “Whew.”

“Okay, so that’s a lie…I have told her a few things. I can’t help it!” you say and John rolls his eyes as he laughs. “What is your favorite position? I don’t think I know.”

John laughs and nods his head, “You know.”

“This?” you straddle John and he nods again as his hands move to your waist. You crawl off of John and lay flat on your stomach, wiggling your ass and he gets up to kneel behind you. “How about this?” From over your shoulder, you see him close his eyes as he slowly bumps his hips against your ass. “Oh, that’s a definite yes.”

“I love them all.” John pulls you up to his chest, kissing and biting over your neck and shoulder. You turn around to face him and you lay back down on the bed as he crawls on top of you, kissing you endlessly. “This is a really good one, too. Definitely one of my favorites.”

“Why?”

“Because I can see your face,” he says, cupping your face and moving his hands down lower to caress your hips and thighs, “And feel your body under mine.” John kisses you one last time before rolling off and back to his side of the bed.

“Oh, by the way, just for that joke, you have to promise to dance with me tomorrow. Not just a slow song either!”

“I will. Any song you want to dance to, I will dance with you.” he nods.

“Any song?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Any song, and how many ever you want.” he smiles.

“I'm gonna hold you to that, I hope you know.”

He kisses your cheek and pulls you closer to his chest, “Oh, I know you will.”

“You think everything will go as smoothly as we hope?”

“Absolutely. In your opinion, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” he asks and looks down at you as you bring your nail into your mouth. He swats it away and you start to laugh.

“I don’t know. I guess the worst thing that could happen would be like…a thunderstorm, or the caterer not showing up, or Tess’ flowers being all wrong, my dress ripping and then I expose my ass to everyone.”

“Oh, you’re just making shit up now.” he laughs and pulls you on top of him, holding you tight by your waist. “Baby, everything will be fine, I promise. I checked the forecast and it’s going to be beautiful tomorrow. The caterer is going to show up, and if they don’t, I’ll run to every grocery shop in the state and order as much food as I can. Tess’ flowers are going to be fine, Jimmy said she already has them all at their house and she loves them.”

“Okay.” you laugh and lean down to kiss John.

“And as for your dress ripping and exposing your ass,” his hands slide down to your ass and he spanks you, “Just make sure you’re wearing good underwear or something.”

“John!” you say, laughing as you roll of him. “That’s not funny.”

“Well, you’re laughing, so I’m guessing it is.” he snuggles into your side, wrapping his arm around you. “It’ll be fine. Nothing is going to go wrong.”

“If you say so.” you sigh loudly and flip on your side, resting your forehead against John’s. He’s so sleepy, but he’s trying his hardest to stay awake to talk to you. You tuck his hair behind his ear and rub his cheek with your thumb as he lets out a big yawn. “I’m sorry, I’ll let you go to sleep now.”

“You need to sleep, too. I’ll hum to you.” he says and wiggles into bed, getting comfortable as he starts to hum.

“Thank you.” you say and close your eyes as John lulls you to sleep.

__

taglist: @raveviolet @cheekybluefox @lainalainalain

[julia-highstorms]

If Jane Was Here (Noah's POV) - Ch. 1

Summary: ILITW by Noah’s point of view. I intend to write the whole book, but angst stories are not my forte so this will be a challenge, since it is a fic focused on that Emo King Beanie Boy.

Note: A little too late, I know. F!MC. Noah has romantic feelings towards MC here, so:

Pairing: Noah x MC because I need them

Word count: 1905

Chapter 1 – Old Friends

The alarm clock started ringing at seven o’clock. Noah lazily got out of his bed and put on the first clothes he found on his closet, as well as his grimy blue beanie, before realizing that there were several unread messages on his cellphone.

“Three in the morning? Who the f…?”, he muttered to himself. They were from Dan.

Dan was talking nonsense about going back into the woods, that Mr. Red was real… Immediately Noah angrily threw the phone inside his backpack. What the hell was Dan thinking going back to where Jane…?

But after taking a deep breath – as he would always do when he felt angry or helpless, something that occurred more often than he would like –, he grabbed the phone again and sent a message:

“sorry, just saw ur msgs… are u ok?”

He waited for an answer, but nothing. After several minutes, he finally walked out of his bedroom.

Dan never replied.

He and mom didn’t talk very much during breakfast, as usual. Actually, he just said “morning”, which the woman replied with an “don’t forget to take out the trash”. She was too busy applying some make up, getting ready for work.

And Noah couldn’t help but think…

If Jane was here…

They’d all be talking and laughing together. Dad would be here too. Jane seemed to have this ability to brighten everyone’s day and bring everybody together.

“I’m going.” – he announced after cleaning the plates, but didn’t get any answer.

He stepped out of his house and looked up to the gray sky above his head.

If Jane was here…

It was the first day of his senior year in that hellhole called Westchester High.

Noah couldn’t help but feel anxious about the future. What would he do after graduating high school?

If Jane was here…

Probably she would be his number one supporter on going to the culinary school, like he wished. She would make him cook all the craziest and fanciest foods she wanted, and he’d happily follow.

She’d never let him give up.

But she wasn’t here.

Noah closed his locker and started walking down the hallway, when he noticed a little commotion ahead. Throughout the corner of his eyes, he saw Britney, Jocelyn and Cody arguing with Lily, Ava and MC. Hurriedly, he blended through the crowd of students going to the gym, avoiding the bullies.

Once inside the gym, he saw the rest of his old friends. Stacy was warming up with the cheerleaders on the back and Andy was doing the same with the basketball team on the other end.

There were a lot of empty seats, so he sat in the second row of benches. Ava came alone a little after and went upstairs, sitting on the top. The girl didn’t notice him, she was scribbling something on an old sketchbook.

Noah turned his head to the front. Lucas was talking to Mr. Cooper right next to the entrance.

Dan was nowhere to be seen.

A flash of thought crossed his mind.

If Jane was here…

Would they all still be friends? Or they would have fallen apart anyway?

Noah came to his senses when he heard some shouts from behind. The gym was now packed with students. He looked upon his shoulder.

Cody and Jocelyn were yelling to MC to sit. She turned to him.

“Hey Noah, do you mind if…? – she muttered, pointing anxiously to the empty seat next to him.

“Knock yourself out.” – he heard himself saying, before scooting to the side.

MC squeezed beside him, her perfume hitting him hard. He didn’t remember how small she was… Or it was him who grew up too much?

Immediately his mind started Racing, remembering of something that happened a long time ago…

He and Jane stepped out of the house, Mom shoving then to “play outside”, like she always did after an argument with Dad. “You’re giving me a migraine”, she said before closing the door behind them.

Noah looked at his twin, her eyes still watering. She always cried when their parents fought.

“C’mon, Jane…”

“Did you hear it? They said the d-word! – she cried. Yeah, he heard them.

The fights were worsening and, to avoid each other, Mom and Dad preferred to stay working late at night, leaving him and his sister alone. And so he started cooking for themselves and Noah discovered something he was truly good at.

At least Jane said his food was “amazing”.

“…Yeah, I heard it too. But don’t think about it now.” – he squeezed the girl’s shoulder, trying to comfort her. – “Why don’t we go play?”

Jane wipped off the tears of her face and smiled slightly.

“Can we call MC?”

Of course she wanted to play with MC. It was always everything about MC.

MC moved to Westchester with her family a year before and lived just a half mile away from the twins. She and Jane got along instantly and became best friends, doing practically everything together and spending all the time together.

And Noah wasn’t very happy about it. Before she came and took his place, he and Jane were a team like it was supposed to be.

He even attempted to runaway from home a couple of nights before, because he felt that Jane liked her best friend more than him. But after he confessed this to his sister, she just laughed and told him that he was her twin and that he was irreplaceable. Noah felt slightly better after it, but the boy couldn’t control the way he felt, so he still was a little jealous of MC.

“Yeah.” – he finally answered, forcing a smile.

“YAY!” – Jane jumped in excitement and grabbed him by the arm. – “Let’s go see if she’s at home!”

MC was at home. Her mom had let her play with them, but if they were going to play outside, she better be back home for dinner.

“Where do you guys want to play?” – MC asked. They were at the living room deciding what to do.

“We could play with Mr. Red!” – Jane proposed, happily. But Noah said no.  – “Why? You never want to play with Mr. Red!” – she screamed, her face turning red with anger.

“I just don’t trust him!”

“You liar! You don’t want to because you’re afraid!”

The boy’s face turned bright red too, while he yelled back:

“I’m not afraid of anything!”

“Guys…” – MC tried to interrupt, but the twins didn’t hear her.

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

“GUYS!” – they both imeddiately stopped yelling at each other and looked at MC. – “Stop fighting!”

The redhead girl pulled her friend’s arm:

“MC! Don’t you agree with me? Noah is being a big baby!”

“I’m not a baby!” – Noah answered back, feeling that he has lost the argument.

Of course MC would be on Jane’s side. She was her best friend.

Besides, she was never afraid of anything. That’s why Jane told her about Mr. Red first, instead of him. How could he compete with MC? She was just so good at everything!

And not a coward or weak like him.

Actually, she was the bravest person he had ever met.

“…No, Jane, Noah is right.” – he heard MC saying.

“What?!” – the twins screamed together.

“We can’t play with Mr. Red. Not today. Everyone plays together.”

“But…”

“…And not everyone can come play today. Lily is on that summer camp, Andy is out of town with his and Tom’s families, Dan is on his grandma’s birthday party, Ava is grounded, Lucas has to study and Stacy said that her mom won’t let her come, after she found out that we were playing in the woods last time.” – she explained. – “It might be dangerous just us three. Don’t you remember the first time we went there? Just the two of us? Mr. Red almost took you.”

“But this time will be different! He is our friend!” – Jane stubbornly insisted. – “And you promised that you’d protect me no matter what!”

“I know, but…”

“But it’s safer if we don’t play with Mr. Red today, Jane.” – Noah said, firmly. He and MC shared an agreement look. – “It’s settled then, we won’t play with Mr. Red.”

“We could play something else. Like Twister!” – MC proposed, but Jane’s face was red again.

“Screw you both!” – his sister yelled, but she ran upstairs to MC’s bedroom anyway.

Noah and MC looked at each other before chuckling together.

“…Thanks, I guess…” – he muttered, shoving his hand inside the pockets of his striped hoodie. – “I’m her brother, but Jane only listens to you.”

“She listens to both o fus.” – the girl answered, with a warm smile on her lips. – “Jane told me about your parents…”

“Of course she did.” – he rolled his eyes, wih an annoyed expression on his face.

“…And that you're always taking care of her.” – her smile widened. – “You’re an amazing brother, Noah.” – she giggled when he blushed.

And that was the worst part.

Despite being jealous of MC, the boy was unable to hate her, even though he tried really hard. MC was so nice. And he kinda liked when she smiled or laughed at him. In fact, he liked MC too, since the very beggining, when they met her, a year before. But she became more friends with Jane. The truth was that he was jealous of both girls.

“Let’s go play.” – she said and he nodded, a small smile on his lips.

“Yeah, let’s go play.”

Suddenly, he was back to the Westchester High gym, the pep rally about to start. And MC was talking to him.

“So… What’s been up to you? We haven’t really talked since…”

He felt his heart ache a little. Noah knew right away about what she was talking about.

“Yeah… I know.” – he said with a blank face, trying to hide his feelings.

Thankfully, the rally started, with Lucas walking up to the podium.

While MC was commenting about their old friends, Noah couldn’t help but think, again.

If Jane was here…

Part of him kinda hoped that he and MC would still be friends. But… Just friends?

Looking at her now, sitting right next to him… He felt an urge to wrap his arms around her and feel the warmth of her body against his.

He watched her lips moving, saying something about the cheer squad, and he wondered if they were soft and what was their taste.

Noah suddenly clenched his teeth, mentally ordering himself to stop imagining things. MC would never be interested in him. They even weren’t friends anymore.

Somehow, he managed to answer her without showing any emotion.

And then, it happened.

The lights flickered before shutting down. Lucas tried to say something, but then the gym doors were blown open with a loud bang.

And he could hear it. With the wind. Him.

The lights flickered back the same time Noah grabbed MC’s arm.

“Gah! What are you…” – she jumped, startled by him, but he interrupted her:

“Shut up! Do you hear that?” – he screamed, feeling a chill going down his spine.

“Hear what?”

“Ssssshhhhh!”

MC finally shut the hell up and her eyes widened when she heard it.

“Oh no…” – she muttered, before the lights went down one more time and the music completely stopped.

And then, Noah heard it again. The horrible voice of that monster who ended with his life without killing him.

The voice of that bastard who killed Jane.

“Everyone… plays… together…”