#if doc just they’re gay straight up or they gay kiss in the show I’ll eat dirt if you want me to

[badboychaser]

I know everyone is excited about the Cole & Geo thing + Doc twt liking that one post and confirming that Cole & Geo are the same age which is perfectly fine..you’re allowed to be excited about things!!

However, it’s not proper gay representation and I dont believe it was initially intended to be. It does come off queercoded, but I’d advise people to think more about how Cole & Geo need more screentime together (ex. Talking- not just standing next to eachother) before going around saying “Ninjago is being progressive” because I would like progressive to actually..BE progressive instead of barebone scrap food type representation.

If Cole is going to be our gay/aro/ace rep I want it to be genuine.

I’m not a Cole/Geo liker BUT that being said there’s people on Twitter that hate Cole/Geo purely because it’s a gay ship so don’t let them win

[leverage-ot3]

to all the leverage fans out there, I thought I’d throw out some recommendations of other shows that y’all might like

this is completely centered around the lgbt aspects of leverage (how none of the characters are straight, how there is a canon ot3, etc), because I know other people have recommended white collar and stuff but I haven’t personally seen that and I’m just a humble lgbt wanting to share more gay shows with y’all

1. wynonna earp (my sideblog is @angelicearps)

just renewed for a fourth season after two years (this feeling is very familiar to leverage fans)

the first episode of season four aired last night and IM SCREAMING the writers served us a five course meal

the main love story includes waverly earp, a CANON (officially as of 4.01) bisexual girl falling in love with nicole haught, a lesbian cop-turned-sheriff (that’s a slight spoiler, so sorry about that) and both of them are main characters

wynonna earp, another main character, has a complicated relationship with two different men and is not slut shamed for it and is never put down about it

I’m serious- the healthiest and most stable relationship in the show is between waverly and nicole, so wlw nation rise

wynonna and waverly are descendants of the great gunslinger (and demon killer) wyatt earp, who ended up getting a curse on his future generations. the story of the show is centered around wynonna being the chosen heir having to fight demons and try to break the curse for good

doc holiday is another main character- yes, that doc holiday. he’s one of wynonna’s love interests and he has such a pure and loving relationship with waverly. he’d literally die for her and move heaven and hell to make sure she’s safe (that’s literally canon)

jeremy comes in around season two if I remember correctly. canon gay. gets in a relationship with another canon gay character whose name I am blanking on. they are very loving and very pure

literally, in 4.01, when armed military men are breaking into the earp homestead and he doesn’t know what to do, he literally says: “gays only?” lol they didn’t respect that answer

the show has so many good quips and one-liners. so many hilarious lines. it can be an angsty show at times but they definitely balance it out with humor and wlw softness between waverly and nicole

wynonna has a baby in season two and literally calls herself a milf

it also made fans faint because they have been calling nicole “daddy” for like six years and nicole was referred to as daddy three (3) times in 4.01

this show is NOT AFRAID to say things like gay, lesbian, etc. at one point someone tweeted at emily andreas (the writer) asking her to amp up the gay energy and she responded that she would

literally, emily andreas is on the same level as john rogers with trustability and dedication to fans

emily andreas heard of the bury your gays trope and did us one better: unkillible gays trope. the gays are unkillable.

2. motherland: fort salem (my sideblog is @fortsalem)

(HELL YEAH I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST IN THE FANDOM AND I GOT THE HANDS DOWN B E S T URL)

au where during the salem witch trials a witches named sarah alder made an agreement with the government that witches would serve for the us army in exchange for not being systematically hunted down and killed

THIS IS NOT MILITARY PROPAGANDA. sorry, I just had to make this point early on because it’s not even though it might seem like it in the beginning. literally by the end of the season you see it’s very corrupt

since this is an alternate history of the united states, in this universe there are no heteronorms. literally, there’s literally no words for lesbian and bisexual that they use because it’s so normalized and common and accepted that there’s no need for terms like that

the main love story is of star-crossed raelle and scylla. raelle comes from a poor family and is a talented healer, and (this isn’t technically a spoiler because you find out in episode one) scylla is a member of the spree

the spree is a terrorist organization of witches that protests the compliance witches are forced into by having to join the military or die/be imprisoned

scylla is supposed to turn raelle to the “dark side” but falls so deeply in love with her that she can’t do it (THATS TRUE LOVE FOLKS)

the students at fort salem (the military school) are divided into groups of three: the main group being focused on is composed of raelle, tally, and abigail

tally craven is a pure-hearted baby and I’d die for her. she is very idealistic about fighting in the military (but don’t worry that’s fixed by the end of the season)

abigail bell weather comes from a high military family and is kinda really stuck up about it, but she’s humbled a lot by the end of the season. this girl has LAYERS (they all do, but abigail goes through a lot and goes from very stuck up and stuck up the military’s ass to questioning everything she knows)

the trio starts off rocky, especially between raelle and abigail, because raelle blames abigail’s mother for her mother’s death (her mother’s unit was led by abigail’s mother)

the beltane episode literally hits you in the face with how there are literally no heteronorms whatsoever. they do this sacred dance where by the end they will end up with the people they are destined to spend the celebration with (“trust the dance”). raelle makes friends with a gay guy and they spend the celebration making fun of the sex noises around them and become gay friends for life. abigail has sex with two (2) guys who kiss each other. a group of four girls went off together. a group of two girls and a guy went off together. and sex isn’t shamed. at all. in fact, it’s respected as a part of life. and y’all, literally this representation was OFF THE CHARTS

the witch’s most powerful tool is their voice,,, think about that for a minute

it’s an all girls school so there are like no guys whatsoever minus the beltane episode and a couple others

EMPOWERED WOMEN (of all ages and ethnicities too)

3. siren (my sideblog is @polymarinelove)

imma start off by saying that season three doesn’t exist. don’t watch season three. don’t do it. the disappointment is real

ANYWAYS

the central love story is between an interracial couple (a white guy and his black girlfriend that has a native american stepfather) that turns into a loving polyamorous relationship

maddie, the girlfriend, is amazing and incredibly smart and the first two seasons (and the beginning of the third) accentuate that and they never downplay her because she’s a black woman like many shows and movies do. she’s a smart stem woman and we stan her so hard. she’s also bisexual.

ben, the guy, comes from a rich family that are basically the hotshots of the town and own the fishing company that the community works for. his dad is hella untrustable. ben doesn’t trust him and neither should you. he is kindhearted and smart and respectful, and at one point teaches a merman about consent after being kissed by him (and he didn’t even #nohomo it which was AMAZING)

now to the mermaids

mermaids are apex predators. they are very dangerous. they are very strong. they’re also wickedly smart, canon smarter than humans

the story begins when donna, ryn’s sister, is captured by a fishing boat and carted off to a military facility. ryn comes to land to try to find and save her. (she literally choses her name because she sees a character on a kid’s tv show saying “I am ryn” which is also the first thing in english that she can say)

she ends up being helped by ben and maddie and legit is like these humans are hot imma learn english for them

there’s a lot of really cool and thought out lore as well as TONS of thoughtful marine biology science that makes sense

oh and transforming from mermaid to human? painful as FUCK. realistic depictions of having your body literally transform into something else

humans are wrecking the oceans and that’s a heavy theme of the show

oil rigs are poisoning the water (making them infertile) and killing mermaids with their sonic drilling

so ben and maddie lowkey commit an act of ecoterrorism but it’s chill

“ben and maddie are love” they’re poly, bitches

they come together in a natural, organic way

very healthy and communicative

ben’s alright but ryn and maddie are amazing

don’t watch season three if you don’t want to be majorly disappointed. the writers listened to the homophobic trolls on instagram and broke up the polyamorous relationship and I’ll NEVER forgive them for that. seasons one and two are amazing though. just don’t watch the third one.

[vexedtonightmares]

You should rank the skam France characters on vibe alone

have i been chosen to deliver the vibe check? i’ll do my best with this power (this isn’t a character ranking or anything either btw this is just pure shitposting so i’m sorry if u were expecting something more poetic 😔✌️)  

emma borges- s1 emma suffered so s2-6 emma could vibe beyond this universe. yann and emma got their development and fucked off to be shining beacons of light in every clip they’re a part of. she talked to a horse. V I B E S.

imane bakhellal- beautiful amazing incredible show stopping iconic never been done before fantastic perfection oui oui baguette. has never done anything wrong in her life. i want her to vibe check me.

yann cazas- homie did his time during season one and ever since then he’s literally just been v i b i n g. he gets points taken off for the end of 3x06, but sans ambiguite restored his power. yann is my king. socialist icon.

eliott demaury- the only reason he does not have the best vibes is because he’s just not straight vibey all the time like, say, yann cazas. by the time s6 is over he’ll just be vibing in the sixth dimensional plane of existence in his doc martens like at the end of s5, though, i believe in him.

basile savary- s3 basile failed the vibe check so hard that somehow he got knocked into another dimension and came back from it enlightened beyond words. he now passes the vibe check with flying colors.

lucas lallemant- he has pretty solid vibes, but we can’t forget his s1 snakery, unfortunately. he does get extra points for being gay, though, and for having the best hair in all of france. his chaotic energy surpasses most known rules of vibes, so he’s near the top anyway, snakery and all.

lola lecomte- fuck vibes she needs a HUG. as far as vibes go though, she’s my current self projection character, so that’s a special vibe all on its own. 

maya etienne- an environmentally conscious lesbian with purple hair who does urbex with her best friends who happen to be a delightful group of queer arty weirdos? these vibes are so sweet i can smell the roses.

alexia martineau- the colored hair in s1-4 automatically puts her vibes above so many others. queen of Deserved Better. also a certified bicon which i think is very sexy of her.

idriss bakhellal- the coolest vibes of them all, you can’t tell me any different. unfortunately, he dated ingrid, so. vibes automatically decreased.

lisa- she sleeps and makes horrible jokes and has a job as a lifeguard while she can’t swim. if that doesn’t scream vibes idk what does.

noee daucet- she’s honestly also too cool to vibe in the same way as everyone else, and that’s what makes her vibes so strong. i miss her. would have had better vibes if she was a lesbian but the same goes for everyone. 

max- vibes out of this world. lamifex is on another level, i stg, all of their vibes are so incredible i can’t help but chef’s kiss in their direction at all times. max especially, go off king just for existing. 

sofiane alaoui- turtleneck, dancing, punched charles. i rest my case.

jo- can and WILL fight a bitch. mad respect and mad vibes. also an eliott stan, which gives me the representation i never knew i needed. incredible.

sekou- history nerd who absolutely SERVED at that urbex party. no one is doing it like him. if someone tried to vibe check him he would simply pull an uno reverse, and i think that’s one of the greatest vibes out there.

manon demissy- on paper? incredible 10/10 vibes. in practice, not so much. i Love this girl do not get me wrong, but she’s pulled some straight up Not Cool moves and the fact that she’s still dating charles is the real reason her vibes are a bit crispy rn.

arthur broussard- i do not know what to do with this lil man. s3/4/6 arthur? immaculate vibes, untouchable. s5 arthur? demon. so, he’s here. 

daphne lecomte- if her vibes were a state of matter, they would be gas, because they are bouncing all over the place with no sense of pattern or rhythm. sometimes her vibes are out of this world, sometimes her vibes belong in hell. very difficult to pinpoint.

camille- vibes out of this world, the only reason he’s not higher is because he was in like 10 clips of s5 and that’s it. bonus points for camika though.

mika dolleron- not the best vibes, not the worst. always comes thru when u need him, but he’s also a bitch. he embraces it, though, which is a vibe all on its own i suppose.

alexandre delano- p chris and eva walked so emma and alex could run, i said what i said. he left after s4 tho, so that vibe isn’t very spicy. 

ingrid spielman- racist. automatic vibe check fail.

tiff- lola quite literally vibe checked her, and if the neck brace says anything, it says fail. stalking is also an automatic vibe check fail. girl. what the fuck. get ur life together. she isn’t allowed to have vibes until she does so.  

charles munier- rancid vibes, does not even deserve a ranking because we all know he is the embodiment of human garbage. 

[abstract-minecraft]

Okay multiple thoughts:

1. How do people not immediately fall in love with you you’re so pretty!! Especially your mouth (okay that sounded much dirtier than it was meant to)!

2. I’m just gonna go off about representation in TV shows and especially Supercorp, because I’ve been feeling it recently:

So many TV shows and books and movies have these main female characters who are heroes but then they have them be all oh I am tough and I don’t cry or have emotions or like love people a lot. And then Supergirl comes and Cara is just this sweet incredible strong vulnerable hopeful hero who both wants love and want to change the world and that’s like something I’ve been longing for for so long and it was so incredible to see her on screen. And then comes a Lena who is this bad ass fucking incredible, powerful woman, who is damaged and beautiful and the point isn’t like it takes her three seasons to open up the point is Cara shows her love and she feels like she found her place. And some thing about those things is so meaningful and important to show that the point isn’t to be tough and strong point is to love and be loved in return. And then you have all of these little girls and boys and non-binary people in all of the other genders and they’re watching this show and you have all of these teenagers we’re trying to figure ourselves out and they’re watching the show and they’re seeing these characters or both strong and vulnerable and communicative and Smart and just tell me where that is in our society. And then you have Cara and Alina in this beautiful friendship together that means so much to both of them and all of their friends and viewers and current defense Lena against all bad and Lena bought a fucking company for Cara and they have so many scenes with their romantic interest there just like parallel the scenes with each other and each other scenes are always better. And I just keep thinking about all of those teenagers and kids who are watching this and figuring themselves out and thinking that these are these incredible beautiful powerful people but they wanna be like and how incredible would it be for them to see this queer representation in these women that Big love! I just keep thinking about how everyone says things like oh well Supergirl has so many queer characters in such a diverse cast like why would they need another queer ship and just like you can’t tell us to be content with what we have and what we have isn’t good enough right? And and I I think part of it is also that all of these characters who are queer and diverse are these really important but side characters in the main character is the ones who run the show the ones who everyone really watches it for or not and how powerful it would be for someone to see a show and see the two main characters have this beautiful romantic healthy relationship with each other and their two women I’ve just never seen something like that outside of Shira and that just happened. I also think it’s so rare that you see relationship where it’s built on this foundation of not enemies to lovers not even childhood best friends to lovers but allies to slow friends to slow best friends to completely in love in such a healthy way with such trust and emotion and just adhkitsb. I just think it’s so important. And then there’s this thing with supernatural which I assume I don’t have to explain because you’re on Tumblr and that’s a CW show and Supergirl is a CW show and half of me is like well they’re getting so much pushback from how they ended supernatural not the Latin American version of course that will have to be like no we’re not homophobic see currently not getting together the other part of me thinks like if they’ve done that then I’m just gonna be like well currently not getting together either because they’ve shown a president that they can’t do that. Also, I feel like even if they do get together it’s going to be some last minute bullshit kiss where it’s like the last 10 minutes of the series finale and then we never see them again and that’s not fair to the queer community either. Like yeah it’s better than not having to be together at all, but I’d like a relationship it gets old I don’t know like five episodes at least preferably around 12 preferably a whole season preferably a whole lifetime.

To the men in the writing room, we aren’t real. We’re just a demographic, an imaginary group of hypothetical humans who don’t exist outside of their Twitter @s or paycheck. They don’t sit down and think “when I write this script, I’m going to be extra careful not to stunt the emotional growth of young queer people, and women especially!” They don’t follow the story, don’t follow what would make sense or what reflects the experience of their characters. They follow the money, and only the money. It sucks. It sucks so badly, but that’s just how capitalism works, so we carve out our own spaces: “Oh, you want to deny the fact that we exist? Okay! Never mind shows, we’ll find something else!” So we find those spaces that fit us so perfectly we can almost forget the other ones exist. From artists-- girl in red, mitski, hayley kiyoko, mxmtoon, king princess, etc, to books-- and every young adult novel geared towards people like us has absolutely soared, just look at Rainbow Rowell, to websites-- because let’s not pretend that sites like Ao3 and to some extent Tumblr are for straight people, to clothing-- think about doc martens, to little color schemes and hand gestures, just really trying to normalize this part of ourselves that’s so deep and so naturally there, and maybe even the Dream smp, when you think about it. 

If I had seen myself represented in even one kids’ show growing up, it would’ve changed my life. I didn’t even know gay people existed until I was eight, and I’d already had my first crush on another girl by the time I was five. I remember being so confused about why I felt just like the princesses in the Disney movies I so adored, remember noting that my feelings towards her resembled the romance I’d seen in every kids’ film, but feeling confused and off because this isn’t right. Why was my prince a princess? Why didn’t I feel that way about one of the boys in my grade? 

My whole childhood, there’s only been straight people. My parents would put on shows, would give me books about straight people. Once I figured out that queer people existed, I had to seek out that content myself if I wanted it. And no matter how gay we are, there’s still a part of people’s minds that treats us like we are straight people. Take me, for an example: I came out to my parents as lesbian in fifth grade, and they’ve still made me keep my door open when having male friends over, while letting me sleep in the same bed as female and nonbinary friends with no problem. 

My sister’s life has been different. Since she was a baby, I’ve been upfront with her: “Hey, do you want to meet my girlfriend?” “No, I won’t have a husband someday. I’ll have a wife though!” And already, at the age of four, I watch her live as herself without shame, happily telling our parents that she’s “very in love” with the girl next door and telling them of her plans to marry said girl when she turns five. That’s the beautiful difference it can make to have even one person showing you that queer people exist. 

I wish I could tell those writers that it’s really not just for media points, not just to appease a certain demographic. It affects us, our world, our minds, the way we love. It’s important.

also thanks for complimenting my mouth lol :)

[keyofjetwolf]

GIFTENING Bonus Rounds

For each category, I included a “bonus round” question. YOU GUYS KILLED IT. I loved all the answers, but listed below are some of my particular favourites.

Haruka Tenoh is trapped in the wrong anime! Which would you have her visit next?

I want her to earth shake Kyubey out of existence, please and thank you

My bride is a mermaid. She can relate. :P

i think she would THRIVE in bodacious space pirates. gay teenage space pirates whose job is to dress up, be Dramatic, and rob the wealthy??? that shit is RIGHT up her alley

Hamtaro

Princess Tutu - where the world is finally as dramatic as her

PGSM (and Michiru is trapped with her, for REASONS)

Pokemon because everyone deserves to be happy

Any moe-style series so hijinks can ensue at her being baffled by everyone's ages

1960's Speed Racer

is is this a captcha or something i missed oh god

Free! so she can be indifferent to all the hot men and slightly uncomfortable because she still can't swim. 

Stick Haruka in a Gundam!

Dump her in Pretear or one of the Precures! It would be hilarious! She's never in the genre she wants to be!

Revolutionary Girl Utena, so she can be offended by misuse of roses.

Initial D, she will out-drive and out-drift all those guys and steal all their girls.

Evangelion. I would feel bad to watch her suffer, but it would be so, so funny for her to be the comparatively most normal person around.

Yakitake Japan! SO SHE CAN HAVE A SNACK OF DELICIOUS RIDICULOUS BREAD BEFORE THE NEXT INTERDIMENSIONAL ANIME STORM WHISKS HER AWAY.

The Holograms or the Misfits? DISCUSS

Holograms

both? both. BOTH IS GOOD

misfits bc Evil Ladies Hot

Steven and the stevens

Misfits.  How dare you make us try to think about anything in our lives.

Both, you mad fool. Those combined songs were the best.

The Misfits, their songs are better

The Misgrams: A group of girls who form a singing telegram start up company, but constantly deliver the telegrams to the wrong people.

kimber & stormer

Neither. Limp Lizards all the way. BROKEN GLASS.

I do not know what these things are

Misfits because guitar motorcycle

The Isle of Misfit Holograms

Holograms is just arguably better

I mean, I’m told the Misfits’ songs are better, but my true answer is the band Kimber and Stormer made in that big gay episode you liveblogged (checks) almost four years ago.

I've no idea what these words mean and I hope this does not make me TOO uncool.

this is about jem, right? right?? im hip i swear

Misfits, because Jasper is a member apparently

I don't know from Jem, but I mean...I certainly prefer holographic material to Glenn Danzig? So I guess there's your answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Stingers

LIMP LIZARDS FOREVER

Senshi Band

You can make me liveblog a full series of any show you want! You also hate me. What do you have me watch?

Pick a GoT rip-off, any GoT rip-off

The Bachelor?

The Bachelor :(

depends on how much i hate you, but....probably the bachelor. quantity AND lack of quality

Critical role, it would take forever

If I were a horrible person who sought only malice?  Big Bang Theory.  Entire series.

Toddlers and Tiaras

The Mandalorian - Disney would come after you and kill keyofjetwolf just as dead as keyofnik.  We would all be very sad, you would have to go through a second round of restoring things to a new tumblr account, and your organizational heart would weep over adding yet another hosting site out of chronological order.

You are liveblogging Eva, and must discuss in full detail Shinji's emotional state at all times.

Hannity & Colmes

The Kardashians. And all of their spin offs. *kisses*

The price is right

the bachelor

Probably something with lots of romance and no friendships. Soap operas are like that, right? My college roommate used to watch General Young Light Restless Hospital of Our Lives (which one had Like and Laura?) And it was torture.

One Piece, because it's over 900 episodes so you could maybe do 10% before you die, also you will hate how the women are treated most of the time.

Fushigi Yuugi. Not only do you hate it but it also comes with you squirming when you admit to watching the whole thing. ;) 

Plus belle la vie. It's an ongoing French soap opera that has been airing five days a week since 2004, they're nearing their 4000th episode and there's no end in sight. Imagine all those hours upon hours submerged in French drama, mwahahaha!!

The Bachelor.  Or the Bachelorette, maybe - more straight dudes in that.

The Young and the Restless - IT IS THE LIVEBLOG THAT NEVER ENDS. IT WOULD OUTLAST THE INTERNET.

The entirety of the Bachelor franchise.

You can only play one game for the rest of your life. Which game would it be and why?

Kingdom Hearts Complete Collection. A) I love them. B) I beat the system and get like 10 games instead of one.

Gemcraft. This game actually takes a lifetime to finish.

Hatoful Boyfriend. It is the best game ever created. Feel it in your heart.

that's a mean question and you can't make me answer it

Pathfinder, which you could play for the rest of your life and still never finish.

Civ VI , so I can rule the world without leaving my house.

I am legitimately perturbed by this question and refuse to answer it.

Pokemon Go. I would have nothing else, but I would catch them all.

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim: I'll never run out of side-quests.

Mass Effect--it's the only way I'll get full completion. 

The dinosaur game on Chrome when the internet doesn't connect because my life is monotonous and it's a welcome relief. 

Stardew Valley. Peaceful farmer life and turning my children into doves when I'm bored with them.

Crabs Adjust Humidity

Oh my! A number of things come to mind, not one of them fit for print. Just, you know...*gestures vaguely* sex shit. 

I can't even stick to the ones I play now.

This is the worst of all possible things and I refuse to answer. 

Monopoly, I hate myself :(

Probably Minecraft! I haven't gotten into it because I know if I start I will NEVER STOP. Who would do things like build a hundred foot tall statue of Mako-chan? A-THAT'D BE ME.

the game. Of LIFE! *shrug emoji*

I don't believe I'll tell you, because I AM a salty little fish and it was HARD to cut that 11th choice off my vote.

Holligay and I are going to be the leads in a new buddy film. What's the premise? How does it end?

Be gay do crimes. Thelma and Louise. Duh. :P

I have no idea but only just surviving disaster is how it ends.

You break down in a small town during a roadtrip- your stay is full of hijinks and ends with you teaching the townsfolk the true meaning of friendship.

Doctor Holligay, Esquire, PhD, renowned Jewish femme of many talents, is assigned one Operative Jet Wolf as her bodyguard on a foreign diplomatic mission/vacation/culinary tour of the world ("same difference, shut up, narrator"). One problem: Operative Wolf needs a bodyguard herself, as the good doctor discovers when in one night her toilet is destroyed ("IT WAS A SECURITY THREAT") and Operative Wolf nearly breaks a leg falling down a small set of stairs ("THEY PUT A CLIFF OUTSIDE THE DOOR"). Worldwide shenanigans ensue as Holligay and Operative Wolf learn the true meaning of friendship, and also how to take care of themselves... by taking care of each other.

I’m not sure about the premise, but DEFINITELY it ends in murder.

Someone posted a major spoiler during one of your liveblogs. The two of you track them down seeking revenge. It turns out it was the original creator of the series trying to stop you. For some reason Holligay is a CGI badger.

It's clearly a buddy cop movie, and like all good buddy cop movies, it ends with Doc almost dying, and you saving her, and slapping her wound in the hospital as the credits roll.

It ends as it began: with Holligay roasting you.

A straight detective and her lesbian partner have to solve the case of the missing cinnamon buns.  It ends with nobody getting the guy OR the girl and you drive off into the sunset together, perps behind bars sans cinnamon buns.

I don't know what it's about but I know it will be the only movie that ever existed. 

Holligay is the lesbian chief of staff to you somehow being elected President and she's basically running the country while you're the charming face of the administration

Nerd and cowgirl meet at a bar, justifyingly murder some gross dude, go on the run from the law and have a life-changing road trip, on the way Nazis are punched

carrying a delicate object through a forest after your helicopter goes down

Thelma and Louise, but instead of dying, your deaths are clearly faked and you live on a ranch in Montana with your respective spouses and animals. One time a cop comes by the restaurant/bar you joint own with Doc and says, "You look familiar." Doc, in perfect lesbian, answers, "Jet's just got that criminal look, on account of how much she'd love to steal my cheesecake recipe. More pie?"

Queer Eye with a Straight Goy. The two of you do the show but in your own special ways.

Doc Holligay is the wild-west no-nonsense sheriff. Jet Wolf is the all-fun cyberpunk cop from the future. They punch nazis and argue about food. It ends as a tv series ala B99.

Your lives are already a buddy film, don’t get greedy.

Hands and socks.  You know how it ends.

See Grumpy Old Men for details.  How does it end?  Badly.

I can't imagine the premise, but I'm pretty sure the planet explodes.

A Coen Bros film. It ends poorly.

Wait? You're not already living this now? 

REI HINO

REI HINO

Sure. Why not?

HINO REI

<3<3<3<3

REI HINO!

Rei who? ;)

REI HINOOOOOOOOO

Plush Is being hugged by Zoisite in your banner.

MINAKO AINO

MAKOTO KINO

The best

SOCKS

MICHIRU KAIOH

It's time tooo.... REI! THAT! HINO!

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LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI [THIS REPEATS A LOT A LOT AND IS GLORIOUS] [...] LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES JETWOLF

(THE REAL ONE)

Isn't how you spell Makoto Kino!

THE REAL ONE™

obviously

IS NOT A RHINO

In conclusion: Rei Hino

Rei Hino is giving this Giftening finger guns

BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, SHOW-STOPPING, TALENTED, AMAZING, WONDERFUL

Hot stuff, lights my fire, blazes it regularly. I am out of fire jokes.

PASSION FLAME, SAILOR MARS

These hot feelings are C'EEEEEST LAAAAA VIIIIIIE c'mon rei-chan why aren't you singing along

IS THE BEST (I know who I'm talking to)

Ara!

DID DOCTOR HOLLIGAY PHD NOMINATE THE OPTION OF TALKING ABOUT MICHIRU KAIOH FOR 6 HOURS!!

If Hot Pocket were to plan One Last Heist, what do you think would be his objective? What would be Mina's role in his master plan?

Master Hot Pocket seeks BREAD. His friend and loyal companion, Mina-pup, acts as a distraction, as he has learned the humans are easily distracted by cute. While she does her sworn duty as Best Friend and Cutest Goodest Girl, probably with lolling tongue and glee at all the pets she receives, he picks the locks on the newly childproofed pantry, and Master Howard H. Pocket FEASTS AS NO CAT HAS BEFORE.

Every bag of flour in Montana; Mina runs distraction with her adorable puppy eyes

Open every container, leave none unmarked. Mina is the lookout who greets whoever comes and is completely ineffective at her job.

TAKE ALL THE FLOUR. Do it straight from the source: FlourCo Inc. What does a 10-pound cat do with eighty thousand tons of flour? If you can't figure that out, there's a reason he's the brains of this outfit. Mina would obviously be the bumbling lovable distraction to security or other people.

Bread.  Mina is The Face who provides distraction to the Keepers of the Bread by walking up to them and being herself.  Mina has absolutely no idea that Hot Pocket is using her in this manner because Hot Pocket is that Machiavellian, but Mina is a pocket full of sunshine in canine form and probably would just be happy to help out.

Hot Pocket knows that no mammal of the floor believes in flour anymore. It went away a long time ago. It doesn't exist. But what he also knows is that they're wrong. A lack of opposable thumbs won't hide the truth from him. He'll find the stash, and when he does, he'll stick his paw in it. Mina, with her limited climbing skills, will lick its remains from his claw and prove his discovery. As well as provide a warm place to curl up on for the aftermath of their adventure.

His goal is to sample every edible thing he can get his teeth on. Mina pulls triple duty as step stool, distraction, and scape goat

The Silver Crystal. Mina would play the role of Sailor V.

He is getting ALL THE FLOUR. Mina is a lovable distraction.

Looting all the carbs in the pantry. mina is distraction.

mina's role would be the "dopey" but talented best friend who it looks like HP is going to betray for the sake of the plan but then it all comes together when HP mounts a dramatic rescue. i dunno i'm still in film mode from that last one.

The Holy Bread Locked Within the Cupboard.  Mina would be the distraction, but she'd forget what she was supposed to be distracting from and end up leading you to him.

I am the Void. I am the Night. I am the Darkness with no hope of dawn. The Flour trembles before me in it's bleached fluffiness. It shall not escape my chaos, which will descend upon it like the Terrors of the Deep, claws and teeth and gnashing. It will howl at my claws. It will scream for my teeth, sharp and white, stars in the night of my fur. I shall tend and tear and -- Dammit, Dog-thing! How am I supposed to be terrible and terrifying with you wagging your tail and panting at me!? Oh, you found a good warm sunbeam? I guess I can stalk stuff later. I am the Void. I shall absorb the Sun's light and warmth and bring it into my Darkness where it cannot escape...

I'm new here and don't know all the complex lore of Jetwolf(fairly sure Mina is dog), so I'm going to assume that Hot Pocket is an actual hot pocket and his heist is robbing Fort Knox using Mina as his loyal stead/get away car. Then he explodes a microwave or something.

i lik the bred

Mina as the distraction while he takes one last tastes of EVERYTHING 

objective--stealing more chips; Mina--surprise betrayal 

The scene: Mama Jet's pantry The Objective: the bag of cake flour Aunt Doc made Mama Jet buy but she's never used Mina: confused but excited escape vehicle and/or scapegoat

RAIDING THE KING ARTHUR FLOUR FACTORY. Mina is of course adorable and keeps everyone's attention while Hot Pocket swan dives into the flour like Uncle Scrooge

Hot Pocket would definitely try to steal a monument, Carmen SanDiego style. Mina, of course, is the multi-talented and super cute face of the operation.

I have no idea who Hot Pocket is

HP would try to scale the tallest building in the world. Not to steal anything, just to be up there. Mina would be the adorable diversion.

It would be to get whatever food you've left on the counter. Preferably bread. He would tell Mina that he'll give her some of she acts as a distraction. She's a good dog so she does. He's a cat so she gets no food.

Truly, truly, THE GIFTENING winner is us all.

[yukipri]

For the ask: can you tell me about shoreiji? :3

FRICK YESSSSS THANK YOU SOBS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH???? *RIPS OUT MY HEART*

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you: Shorter x Eiji

When I started shipping it if I did:

Ohhhhh SHITE YO

So okay I’m very aware of my incredibly consistent tendency to poly ship Everyone x Protagonist, and even from just the promo stuff (nop haven’t read the manga tho hoooo boy have i read detailed spoilers), it was clear that Ash and Eiji were gonna be the Popular Ship. But then I was like EY who’s this flashy purple mohawk?? And then I was like OH SHITE he’s the Best Friend Type, I’m SUCH a sucker for them??

And then it was like Wait, soooo Ash shoved another guy’s name into Eiji’s mouth? That’s pretty gay (

Beyond me just being attracted to Shorter as a character, I started to REALLY ship them when I noticed just how many times Shorter protects Eiji. True, Eiji’s defs the type that needs protection but…it was just, SO MANY TIMES?? Like dare I say excessive, in the most endearing way?? Their first meeting at the doc’s, and then Shorter literally does the “cover your hands with mine to shoot gun,” and then wrapping himself around Eiji as they jump into the harbor…then it looks like they consistently slept next to each other for most if not all of the trip to LA, and as if he’s already learned that Shorter’s the one who’s gonna protect him, Eiji latches onto him at sight of Mouse LMAO

BUT the one scene that literally gave my life to this ship was after Shorter goes with Yut Lung, and is protecting unconscious Eiji. THAT WHOLE FREAKIN’ SEQUENCE REALLY, but the “If anything happens to him, I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself,” followed up by “We don’t need the fuckin’ wheelchair [because I can effortlessly princess carry him and don’t want to be separated by even the slightest amount]”…like JFC, JFC WHAT A SHIP *straight through the heart* (

My thoughts:

*WILD GESTURES AT ALL OF THE ABOVE* IN CASE YOU COULDN’T TELL, I LOVE THEM???

What makes me happy about them:

The fact that they are alive and well and living happily in a shared apartment with Ash, Sing, and Skip. *COUGHS*

But in all honesty, how protective Shorter is of Eiji, and how naturally and easily he does it. How much Eiji trusts him even in such a short time. How I think Shorter was so essential to Eiji and Ash’s bond too. Just, SO MANY THINGS.

What makes me sad about them:

SO MANY FREAKIN’ THINGS OH MY FUCKING GOD IS THIS A TRAGEDY SHIP IF THERE EVER WAS ONE???? (but that’s also part of what makes it so, SO good RIP)

(too long so under a cut lmao rip)

The fact that Shorter literally would have done anything, would have died for Eiji, and in a way he freakin’ DID. The fact that probably one of the last coherent thoughts he had was the dawning horror that they were going to make him hurt, possibly kill Eiji, and there’s nothing he could do to stop it. The fact that he was forced to be terrified of Eiji, someone he cares about and wants to desperately protect, and that that’s precisely why they chose him as Shorter’s target. The fact that even through all the pain and fear, any part of him left was probably even more scared about what he could do to Eiji. While he asked Ash to set him free from the unbearable pain, I personally interpret that moment as asking Ash to stop him from hurting their Eiji, even at the cost of his own life. I wonder if he died feeling relieved that Eiji at least was safe, or if he died not knowing.

And Eiji, gods, he never doubted Shorter’s loyalty once and reached for him until the end. That FACE Eiji made when he realized what they were going to do to Shorter, do to THEM. The fact that even if it was the drug’s fault, Eiji realized that his very existence was causing Shorter terror and agony so awful that it was unbearable. The fact that Eiji knows, and will always carry with him the fact that Ash had to shoot Shorter in order to protect Eiji. Shorter may have been already lost at that point, but part of Eiji will always blame himself, because it felt like Ash was forced to choose to save one of them, at the cost of the other’s life.

The fact that Eiji had Shorter’s life blood splat onto his cheek, and only Eiji saw that last expression on Shorter’s face. Eiji then felt the heavy weight of Shorter’s body collapse lifelessly on top of him, no doubt felt warm blood from Ash’s bullet wound soak into his own chest. It was Eiji who held Shorter’s body last, who screamed and cried himself hoarse as it was ripped away from him. And then it was Eiji who had to shove his pain aside, because he needed to be strong to keep Ash together.

SO YEAH A TON OF FUCKING THINGS MAKE ME SAD ALRIGHT????

But at the same time, all the sad things just make me ship them more RIP

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

uhhhh not all too much out there, but I guess when Ash is portrayed as an outsider? Regardless of whether he’s involved with them romantically or not. They both absolutely love Ash, and I doubt they could leave him alone.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Reciprocal feelings, a romantic relationship born out of strong friendship that remains strong no matter what else happens, always looking out for each other and Eiji being a strong mental support for Shorter in ways he’s not expecting. I love when Shorter gets flustered around Eiji too?? Also, when Shorter’s always concerned and careful, he knows he’s bold and confident and has experience Eiji doesn’t, so he always triple checks and makes sure Eiji’s completely ok before doing anything, and it’s sometimes so excessive but endearing that Eiji has to just pull him down for a kiss himself. ALSO ALIVE AND WELL THANK YOU.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I thought about saying Ash, and while it’s true to an extent (for either of them), I do strongly prefer this OT3 together ^ ^; But ACTUALLY, for Eiji I’m going to say Sing, because as with Ash, Shorter played a major role in bringing them together, and also I love SingEiji LOL Pulling up a blank for Shorter AHAHAHA

My happily ever after for them:

They live in a fancy ass apartment that’s 80% bought with Ash’s money but they contribute too HAHAHA. Shorter technically owns Chang Dai (his name alone scares off troublemakers) but he actually works at the hair salon next door. He cuts and styles Eiji’s long hair and dyes the slowly increasing number of gray hairs at his temples black. Eiji’s a photographer and Shorter tags along whenever he can to assist and carry his bags along with Sing, especially when Ash is the model. Eiji slowly develops a taste for Shorter’s cooking; it’s not exactly bad, just different. Eiji agrees to a couple ear piercing. They get married. Shorter grows super old to the point his natural hair turns white, and his reaction is, “Sweet! No more need for bleach ;D.”

Who is the big spoon/little spoon:

LMAO Shorter is the big spoon, and he loves curling completely around Eiji who fits next to him perfectly, and it makes Eiji feel super safe try being a big spoon but….lil jetpack AHAHAHAHAHAHA

What is their favorite non-sexual activity:

CUDDLING??? Like y’all may or may not have noticed but I have a Thing for Shorter just…wrapping himself around Eiji. They’re such a good size difference for it?? Like when they’re chilling on the couch, Eiji’s seat is always Shorter’s lap (and then maybe Ash leans against them). When they take baths, Eiji also ends up in Shorter’s lap. When Eiji’s sleep and doesn’t want to wake up but Shorter’s gotta go, he just drags Eiji up with him and eats breakfast with a half asleep Eiji still in his lap.

Eiji likes to pretend he’s getting manhandled and he’s Shorter’s body pillow, but Eiji will also literally take any excuse to climb on top of Shorter. He pretends to get scared over things that he isn’t so his boyfriend will sweep him up. He also won’t admit it but loves getting princess carried, and likes saying, “I’m too tired and can’t walk,” even though they both know it’s a lie. When Shorter himself isn’t available, Eiji will wear one of his enormous hoodies and just curl up in it

send me a ship and I will tell you/Give me a character & I will tell you/send me 5 characters and I will rank them in order of preference

Please send me more~!  

[theaterboyinwonderland]

U make me answer 25 q I make u answer 1-50 :^)

Hey! Fuck you you hoe :D Tumblr mobile wouldnt let me.copy paste so i wrote this shit in a google doc admire how.much energy i put into this. You fuck 1) counter couch or top of the dryer? Easy couch its comfy and easy to sit on. Plus diff postions are easier2) Your last sexual encounter? Good or bad and why? Depends,  do u count phone sex? If so ugh…? A week ago? irl probs like...4 or 5 months ago. For real sex like 2 or 3 years. Phone sex was good! My mans hot. Irl dude was also goo! Hes a pretty close friend ive hooked up with b4 and probs will later but eh. And for real sex god he sucked. Last longer bro3)Fictional person you think would be good in bed? Lust from FMA.4)Something that never fails to make you horny?  A guy biting my neck and saying “like that baby/love/ect” my neck is SUPER sensitive and a homie love a good pet name5)Where is one place youd never have sex? A hospice 6)The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when? I was with the dude from 2 and we were both WASTED. He like wanted me.to blow him so naturally i did but he thrusted into me without telling me. Now heres the thing i got a gag reflex but i can control it kinda well. Drunk me however cant and if a long phallic thing goes down outta nowhere i also cant. Anyway so i puked on him. Needless to say we didnt finish that night. 7) Weirdest thing to ever turn you on? When i was a kid id get horny  hearing the sex sounds from fable. Which after replaying them are SOOO bad8)What is the best way to sexually bind someone?Im a sub bottom dude dont fuvking ask me. Probs get them to love you?9)Fastest way to make you horny? Pin me to a bed force eye contact and then kiss/bite me neck/throat. Dirty talk also helps.10Top or bottom? Bottom 11)We were about to have sex but then…. I probs said im tired 12)Is one orgasm enough ? Are multiple necessary? SEE…depends..i fucking HATE over stim. I legit banned jd from doing it to me. THAT BEING SAID. If irs an ALL NIGHT thing and i only.cum.once (probs at the end edging fuck) im gonna be a mess. 13)Something you've hidden in your room that you dont want anyone to find? The body14)Weirdest  nickname a SO has ever called you? Ugh...idk ive never gotten more than babe till i started dating jd and his are nice like baby/my prince/my everything. I use cringy ones like darling  sweetie honey. Ughh t help one guy see if he liked she/her pronouns i called him princess. He later decided he like he/him so i just called him my prince15)Two things u like about oral? Taste, hearing a guy get more horny and start that low whimper/moan when they're close.16) weirdest sexual act someone has ever preformed  or tried to perform on you? All of my so and shit are basic af. Bondage and a collar are the furthest anyone has asked me. Though  a random asked if i was cool with water sports.17)Have u ever tasted yourself? Ive tasted my cum and it was….okay? Ive never sucked myself a bitcg aint flexable.18)Is it ever okay to not use a condom? Ive…never…..used….one...haha….19)Who was the sexiest teacher u ever had? I never had one but FUCK there one this one just outta college  history teacher (who apt had a big dick) and like DAMN he was fine.20)A food you would like to use during a sexual experience? I dont really wanna do food stuff? Its to messy and like...a waste of food? 21)How big is to big? 10+22)One sexual thing you would never do? IF YOUR FEET EVEN COME CLOSE TO FUCKING TOUCHING ME.23)biggest turn on? Wasn't this a q already? On a guy in gen i love singers. Abs and blonde hair dont hurt. Also being taller than me.24)Three spots that drive u insane? Neck hips collar bone25)Worst possible time to get horny? At work sense i work with old people (hey cas coulda stopped here you furry pope fucker)26)Do u like it when yoursexual partner moans? HELL FUCKING YEAH I DO! Im super audio based and i lovethat. I also have a praise kink so like moans are basically praise27)Worst sexual idea you ever had? What if i was straight?28)How much fapping is to much fapping? Ugh...HMMM...if you do it more than 3 times EVERY day maybe stop 29)Best sexual compliment youve ever had? So at the party me and the friend were at there wa:. Him. My ex. And another fuck buddy of.mine. a q came up about who gives rhe best head and whos the best kisser AND ALL OF THEM SAID ME. I was like “i am a damn good kisser “ and my ex said “fuck ya he is”30)Bald, landing strip, jumanji? Do whatever idc. Hairs hair.31)Is it good sex if you dontnut? No. Im impatient and needy.32) If they *love me* we fucking33)Fav part of your body? My eyes! I think they're nice. Other than that i hate myself lmao34)Fav forplay activities.  Idk never done much. Pinned make out sound like a blast with grinding35)Love or sex? Love. Id rather have someone who really cares about me over a good fuck.36)What do u wear to bed? Underwear.  Im not a pj or commando kinda guy37)First time u masturbated? Ugh….i must been like 11? It was b4 like i ever knew what it was and b4 i could cum. 38)Do u have any nude/masturbating pics/ videos of yourself? My boyfriend lives in another country, what do u think?39)Have you ever/when was the last time u had sex outside. Ive never had SEX but ive blown a couple.dudes in either a park or a park bathroom.  One time.in a casino parking lot40)Have/wouldu have sex in public. See 39? Full blown sex PROBS NAH but bjs probs 41)Have/would u have a 3some?Ive had one! The ex and the fuck buddy while me and the ex were together.  We never fucked but we all blew each other. Slash im down for a polyam resltionship if my partner is so id always be down. Slash slash me and jd are horny as fuck and have talked about having threesomes b4 so ye42)What is 1 random object you've used to masturbate? Ugh…? I humped my bed b4? Idfk?43)Have/would u ever masturbate at work/school. Ive blown several guys at school. So yeah id jo there.  Work ive debated but thats cause SOMEONE os a fucking tease. 44)Have/would u ever have sex on a plane. No45)What is one song youd like.to have sex to? Dead girl walking.46)What is something nonsexual that makes you horny ? Hey fuck u i said this one47)Most attractive celeb? Thomas sanders or tom holland. now THATD be a threesome. Please no one show thomas this.48)Do u watch gay/lesbian poor? Why/why not? HMM I FUCKING WONDER49) If a child was born on the occasion of the last time u had sex, how old would that child be? 2 or 3 years old. God i need to get fucked. Soon50)Has anyone ever posted nude pics of.you online? No and if they do I'll murder the prick.Thanks for the qs cas i stg the next time u post an over 50 ask im.making u do them all :’) love you bb 💛 that was more fun than i thought itd be

[ieroween1031]

Bev/Richie BrOTP Headcanons:

(These are really long; like I’ve said before, I have absolutely no idea how to convey ideas in less than like, seven thousand words, so headcanons are new to me. But if you have any requests, send me a prompt, and I’ll do some more because I actually really like doing them! Open to other fandoms, too, like Shameless, TWD or Stranger Things!)

Bev and Richie are best friends.

Like, BEST best friends.

They’re are always the ones with the bad ideas

And they’re always supporting the other’s bad ideas

Like how Bev is the only one cheering when Richie finally lays into Huggins for pushing Eddie in the hall, while all the other Losers try to pry him off

And Richie is all for Bev’s cousin making them fake IDs

They sneak out of their different classes at the same time to share a smoke in the girls’ bathrooms

They have English together, and their English teacher is NOT happy about it. She sat them next to each other once and has never immediately regretted a decision more in her life because they would NOT. SHUT. UP.

Not only that, but Richie would make dick jokes (out loud, of course; he’s no pussy) about EVERYTHING the class read, and Bev would laugh her ass off every time.

“Of course Juliet killed herself. Couldn’t live without that dick!”

“Why is it that when she does it, she just has to wear an A on her tits, but when I do it, I get detention for ‘inappropriately propositioning the music teacher’?”

“Call me Ponyboy, cuz I’ll let you ride it.”

“TOZIER!”

Meanwhile, Bev is hanging out of her desk, one hand on the floor literally crying with laughter.

After that, the teacher moves them completely across the room from each other

But do you think that stops them? Oh, no.

They try to sneak it and sit together anyway, since the seat next to Bev is empty, but they always get caught.

So they just literally shout across the room while the teacher’s talking

Or they stand and throw notes back and forth like football players, not even trying to hide it

It’s so bad that the teacher finally relents and lets them sit together, because then at least the ruckus is contained to one corner of the room

Richie drives Bev to school, since they live the closest, AKA they both live in ‘poor town’.

Richie has a thing for climbing houses and sneaking in windows (For real, though, I’ve never met anyone that disagrees, so if it wasn’t actually canon, it is now)

So when he has a bad day, or when Bev and her father argue, she’ll lock her door so her father can’t get in and sit on the roof with him and smoke.

This is where they got high for the first time, just the two of them.

If Richie’s having a really bad night, he’ll let himself into her room while she’s sleeping and just sleep on the floor (sometimes he goes to Eddie’s instead; it just depends on how he’s feeling that night).

Until one winter night. Bev woke up when Richie was closing the window. He wasn’t wearing a coat, so she told him to just lay in the bed with her to warm up.

He only meant to stay for a minute, but he was hella tired so he crashed. The next morning, he woke up with his head on Bev’s chest and her arms around him.

When she woke up, she just kissed the top of his head and left to go to the bathroom.

Now every time Richie spends the night, they sleep in Bev’s bed and cuddle.

Bev is the big spoon

Richie goes with Bev to get her belly button pierced when she’s sixteen. He holds her hand the whole time

He kinda wants his done too, but the piercer snorts and says it’s a girl thing (which upsets Richie even though he tries to hide it, and Bev is so angry at the guy that she ‘accidentally’ knocks over an entire case of jewelry on her way out)

In the end, he gets his nose pierced, and Bev tells him how sexy he looks the whole way home (Eddie agrees by nearly attacking him with kisses in the middle of his living room when Richie comes over to show him)

Richie has really small feet for a guy (which bothers him for some reason) so he’s always stealing borrowing Bev’s Doc Martens

Bev gets revenge by taking all his favorite Hawaiian shirts

He pretends to be mad, but Bev slays in them, and even his gay ass can’t deny that she looks better in them than he does

Everyone assumes that Richie is this player, because he flirts with literally everyone. Guy, girl, gay, straight, undecided, it doesn’t matter; Trashmouth Tozier will make kissy faces and wink at you

But only Bev knows that he’s a scared virgin, and that he’s only ever been intimate with Eddie

She and Ben have sex first, so she shares everything she knows with Richie. She even lifts him some condoms and a bottle of lube from the pharmacy since he can’t go buy them himself because people can see me, Beverly!

Richie helps Bev shop for lingerie, and she always models it for him at home.

He insists that she could wear a burlap bag and Ben would bust a nut, but she likes the way she feels knowing she’s dressed in leather or lace under her clothes and nobody else (but Richie) knows, so it’s as much for her as it is for Ben.

In that case, Richie wholeheartedly supports this, because he is all for his best friend feeling powerful and sexy, like Yaas, slay, my Queen!

Richie has absolutely no problem buying Bev tampons if she’s on her period and cramping so bad that she can’t get out of bed

And she gets killer periods, so when she’s on the rag, they’ll watch movies and pig out on ice cream together

Richie is a touch slut with everybody, always wanting physical contact, like hand holding, or playing with someone’s hair, or sitting on their lap, or kissing their cheeks

Bev (even more so than the rest of the Losers) lets him be as touchy as he wants, and never calls him out on it because she knows that aside from the Losers, he’s never been shown any other affection, so it’s normal for him to want it so badly

(Which she knows because she asked Ben to do the research on why kids from broken homes are sometimes more affectionate)

People always assume they’re a couple, since Richie is so handsy with her, and they never correct anyone

They always down to play the part when one of them is getting hit on, so much so that Richie has kissed Bev almost as much as Eddie

Richie knows when Ben and Bev do anything sexual for the first time, as Bev always tells him about it immediately afterward

Richie returns the favor, knocking on her window one Wednesday night in the middle of the summer of their Junior year, explaining that they’d finally done it. Eddie and Richie have finally lost their virginity to each other.

Bev cries and gives him the biggest hug

She cries even harder when Richie tells her that they used the condoms and lube she stole for him

She paints the nails on his middle fingers black for him every week, but just the middle fingers, because he says that’s the one he uses most often

They talk about serious things when they’re cuddled in bed together

Bev tells Richie that she knows in her heart that she’s gonna marry Ben, and that one day, Richie will be the godfather to their children

Richie doesn’t say anything, but Bev hears him sniffle happily

Richie admits that he plans to follow Eddie to whatever college he gets into, (since he was never planning on going to college, anyway) no matter where in the country it is

Even Alaska, even though Richie hates the cold

That’s when Bev knows he’s serious about Eddie, even though he’s never been serious about anything else in the world

He also confesses that he’s terrified when he thinks about how hard their life will be, and how much it fucking sucks that they’ll always live in constant fear, simply because they’re two guys in love

Bev agrees, and kisses Richie’s shoulder

But he also tells her that even with all the bullshit, teasing, violence and fear, he doesn’t ever wish he was straight, because Eddie was the best thing that has ever happened to him

They agree that no matter where they go, and how long they’re apart for, that they will always be there for each other

Fast forward ten years:

Richie stands up by the altar in a tux and a vest that’s the same shade of tiffany blue as the bridesmaid dresses

He gasps when he sees Bev, even though he and Eddie were with her when she found her dress. He even cries as she walks down the aisle

He holds her bouquet, keeps Ben’s ring safe during the ceremony, holds her dress when she has to pee, makes an inappropriate and hilarious speech, and basically just nails this whole Maid of Honor thing (Bev was fine with calling him her Man of Honor, but he insisted that he was not missing out on anything that came with the job, and that includes the title Maid of Honor)

He DJ’s a lot of the reception, until Bev pulls him onto the dance floor for a slow dance

He tells her how much he loves her while they’re dancing, how happy he is and how beautiful she looks. How proud he is of what she’s overcome, and how honored he is to have such an amazing woman for a best friend

And now she’s crying

Fast forward two more years:

Bev beams from her spot as Best Man, looking sharp as shit in a tailored black tuxedo and a pastel pink bow tie (Picking the colors was a process. Eddie loved pastels, but argued that light pink was too ‘girly’ and obvious for a queer wedding. Richie, however, was not having it, and insisted that Eddie’s favorite color be showcased in all its grandeur, no matter how gay it was)

She got to hold Ben’s and Richie’s hands (After much deliberation about who was going where, they put Ben and Stan on Richie’s side, while Eddie had snatched up Bill and Mike for his party) while Eddie walked down the aisle, alone but confident

She cries like a baby when Richie mentions her in his vows

“I told Beverly years ago that I was gonna follow you no matter where you went, and she never doubted me for a second. She’s always encouraged me to chase my dreams, and that’s you.”

Bev helped them decide what song should be their first dance song

Spoiler Alert: It’s Everything I Do (I Do It For You) by Bryan Adams

Afterwards, all the Losers storm the floor for their own special dance (they dance to St. Elmo’s Fire)

They all hold hands and dance and sing at the top of their lungs, even though Bill still stutters a little, Eddie’s tone-deaf, Ben is usually too embarrassed to sing, and Stan has two left feet

Beverly is the last person to kiss the boys before they leave for their honeymoon, and she watches the limo drive off with eyeliner streaming down her face

[popdelton2]

newsies modern au for anon

ohh my god okay i went into desktop web mode on my phone to do this and get a read more because i am DEDICATED to simultaneously spilling my guts AND not making anyone read two hours and two years of newsies headcanons so here it is this took me literally five hours to answer despite having a seven page document for reference also thank you i love you for this

EDIT: I HAD TO USE A SIDEBLOG SO I COULD LINK TO THIS POST AND AVOID BOMBARDING MY FOLLOWERS? THIS SITE! IS! ASS!

GOD OKAY i do not know how old this ask is because the tumblr app is ASS and didn’t give me ANY notification that i got a message but yes i love you thank you absolutely i’ll tell you about my newsies modern au i’ve been vibrating out of my skin to tell someone about this it’s nothing and everything at the same time i have 6 pages of headcanons and no real plot! because of who i am as a person!

anyway some of my personal favorite parts (of many):

- background: honestly it mostly focuses on jack and katherine and david and crutchie because Main Squad Best Squad i love all my dancing newsboys but there’s only so much you can do when there’s 800 of them with minimal character development. everyone is in that same 17-19 age range i think they’re supposed to be in the original movie/show (i think they’re younger in 92 actually but whatever) except les and sarah who are 12(almost) and 20, respectively. (jack’s 19, kat and david are 18, crutchie’s 17). with that said:

- almost everything’s gay. because i said so. jack “girls are nice, once or twice” kelly? straight? no. we stan a social justice bicon. he falls in love with kat but he is still bi as hell thanks. (kat is also bi. david and crutchie are both gay)

- david and katherine are BEST friends. david got a scholarship to the same fancy private boarding school kat attended so they’ve known each other since like seventh grade. they started a newspaper because the school didn’t have one and Kat was The Journalist Girl. bill and darcy round out their og boarding school squad, and there’s Some Stories to be told about the adventures of Boarding School Squad.

- speaking of adventures, jack and crutchie and the newsies. jack and crutchie met and subsequently adopted most of the newsies in high school except race who they met in middle school. just take a second and imagine a large group of high school boys. okay now that you’re done recoiling in horror they’re actually fairly well organized respectable boys, they just get rowdy sometimes.

- speaking of adopting newsies, medda is jack and crutchie’s mom. like actually, she adopted them for realsies. she taught drama at the high school so jack and crutchie and the newsies are Well Versed in the art of Theatre™️

- as are david and kat, mostly because kat had a crush on their drama teacher at school and low key forced to boys to go out for every show with her

- jack’s a slut for feelings (among other things). he’s the kind of bi who falls in love and is ready to propose the second a cute person looks at him. one time he tripped up the stairs while carrying paints for a set and ruined his shirt all because someone cute told him hi and smiled at him. he’s a disaster.

- jack graduated first with a couple of the older newsies and fucked off to santa fe for a while for art school and to like find himself and what not. he eventually wound up dropping out, and moving back to new york when crutchie graduated to move them both to an apartment closer to crutchie’s college.

- it’s an apartment au. of course it is. we’ve met me. when is it NOT an apartment au.

- everyone meets when katherine and david move into the same apartment building jack and crutchie and a number of other newsies live in. shenanigans Ensue, especially when jack “if i flirt loud enough they’ll think i have confidence” kelly realizes the cute new girl wants nothing to do with him which is Extremely his type.

- i’m just gonna copy paste this next part straight from the doc. “Jack goes mega heart eyes for Katherine immediately upon meeting her, is too busy being stupid for her to notice Crutchie and David falling in love. Crutchie and David fall in love so super hard like w o w there’s definitely at least one scene where all four of them are in the elevator and Kat and Jack are Loud Flirting and Crutchie and David catch each other’s eyes and do those soft lovestruck smiles boys do when they’re crushing hard it’s REAL GAY”

- also copy pasted: “Jack is fucking SMITTEN with Katherine even after they get together, he sends her cutesy memes on Snapchat and his lock screen is a picture of her and he gets kind of sulky if he goes too long without kissing her. Jack “his password is also Katherine?” Kelly. (Kat is equally smitten but much more low-key about it. She has a tendency to just like, pet his face and kiss his forehead and whatnot. they’re both very tactile it’s a lot of little touches and leaning on each other and being in each other’s space. They're in Love™. It's Gross.)” which honestly minus the modern tech parts is just canon.

- i can’t handle how over the moon they are for each other save me from this hell. that part in once and for all when she puts her hand on his chest and he grabs it and rubs his thumb over her fingers? uh bye i’m ascending. but this is about au not canon, so i digress.

- joe is still a Newspaper man except a lot of his Newspaper Man Stuff is online now? he’s leading the wave in anti-millennial editorials, and Jack, a millennial working at least two jobs, is Fed Up.

- that’s...most of the plot/backstory/major things i have so far, so here is some smaller more random tidbits to wrap this up:

- jack doesn’t meet kat and david until they move into the building, BUT he does know sarah from working part time at the same café as her. small world.

- jack is: a slut for lip products, he has soft and kissable lips at all time; the karaoke king, he owns at least one item of clothing proclaiming this; scared of spiders; can not dance. he’s so bad at dancing i can’t even make a grammatically correct statement about it.

- kat and david and bill and darcy all speak french. kat and david have a Lot of Feelings about A Lot of Things and routinely bring them up to each other just for the enjoyment of watching the other get Very Passionate about Whatever Thing (the victorian era? the romanovs? amelia earhart? censorship? linguistics? angel hair pasta? all of the above)

- jack and david are the mom and dad friends respectively. jack adamantly denies being the mom friend but he cares about everyone like they’re his own kids and he somehow has whatever anyone needs? And also he touches and hugs everyone all the time he’s a very comforting presence. once david warms up to everyone he becomes the kind of pushy dad friend who smacks you on the butt and loves to say “I told you so” and makes you get out of bed during a depression spell because he CARES about you or WHATEVER and it's GOOD FOR YOU or WHATEVER.

- Jack and David are the dad and mom friends but aren't dating because they're dating Kat and Crutchie who are feisty troublemakers under those sweet innocent exteriors (which is why they get away with so much because they’re cute and charming and smile like sunshine. Jack claims thats bullshit because he is cute and charming and smiles like sunshine also and he has never gotten away with ANYTHING in his LIFE but that's just cause he was raised by Medda who is Immune to the Jack Kelly Charm)

- david is useless re: pop culture. multiple people have multiple times shouted “LEARN A THING. WATCH A SHOW.” at him because he knows fucking encyclopedic facts about like, fuckin rattlesnakes and shit, and can quote multiple bill wurtz videos start to finish from memory, but fucking don't ask him about movies or anything because just. blank stares.

- The Forever argument at David and Kat’s apartment is is the room too hot or too cold? David thinks it is ALWAYS too cold and Kat thinks it is ALWAYS too hot and both are willing to die on that hill.

- the newsies have a sin tin, and the rules for paying the sin tin are convoluted as hell and involve a complicated voting system. the most frequent payers of the sin tin are jack and race who are tied, and crutchie has never had to pay because he is pure of heart and learned how to charm people from jack.

- les is a born con man in the best way, and david and sarah and katherine are all constantly shutting down get rich quick schemes that would probably work because les you’re an infant, stay in school and get a job in finance like the rest of the con men.

- Spot Conlon Is An Asshole, And Racetrack Higgins Is In Love With Him.

god okay that’s. a lot. most of it, not all of it. i made a few things more concise than they are in my official doc and left out a few of the much more nonsensical/just for mandy things but it’s been, uh, two years and i kind of just add a few things every week and haven’t put any effort at ALL into organizing it or giving it any plot. it’s just gonna live as a bunch of scattered shenanigans headcanons and six lines of fic forever, which is probably for the best.

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 1 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 1 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down. 

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome to The Black Box Readings, the new podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. So basically, it’s a show where I narrate through a deleted or deactivated blog over the course of a season, with a focus on queer artists. Though to be honest, there was a specific blog that inspired me to make this podcast, and unless this format is super popular, I may just do the one season. Anyway, although reading things in a dramatic fashion is definitely in my wheelhouse, non-fiction podcasts are not. So please bear with me while I go through some growing pains as I try and figure this thing out. 

Alright, so this season, we have the story of a digital artist who caught my attention with a really cool piece of Overwatch fanart. It’s about her journey through a life spent mostly online, disability, and navigating through the difficulties of realizing that you’re trans.

For those of you not in the know, I am a disabled trans woman myself, so it’s not a journey I’m altogether unfamiliar with. The biggest reason I’m doing this podcast is because stories like ours get drowned out in the media. I wanted to be able to tell her story so that queer people, young and old, can hear something that resonates with them. And I have a good feeling that this will do that for you.

The Tumblr in question, I won’t say the address. Just know that the title of the blog was: “Less Than Human”. Yeah, I know. Not a very cheery introduction. I sort of choose to think of it, kind of like reclaiming a slur. If she calls herself less than human, other people lose the power to hurt her with it. I’m telling you the blog title because it is important later.

Anyways, enough out of me, here’s the first post of the episode, which happens to be the first post of the blog itself. It’s titled:

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is -”

Ok, so I guess I didn’t think this through. In the post, she uses her deadname, and I don’t feel comfortable reading it out to you all. If I have to choose between deadnaming a trans girl and being a little inaccurate, I’m choosing inaccuracy. I should say, actually, that I don’t consider myself a journalist or anything like that. Also, I get it would be bad of me to use her real name too. So we’ll just call her… Hmmm…. Ok, let’s go with Emmy.

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is Emmy, and I’m 19 years old! Nice to meet you guys! I’ve decided to start posting on my tumblr instead of using it as a dash, lol! I’m a visual artist, though I mostly stick to digital art these days. I spend most of my time reading. My fandoms are Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Supernatural, Sonic the Hedgehog, Marvel, and of course, Shrek! Lmao. I think Cat Girls are cute, but I’m not a weeb”

*Laugh* I never read this post while she was active. Her sense of humor is really present in this post, she was always silly like this. Anyways, she follows up this post by posting a backlog of art that I figure she must have made and not shown to anyone. It’s all really good stuff. Some fandom, some original. It’s clear to me that she’s not posting her earlier, rougher work. I don’t remember too many details though, as this was a while ago, and I didn’t think to save her artwork when I was copying all her text posts into the google doc. I hope someone out there saved them before they were deleted, though.

I’m not going to bore you by reading every single one of her posts, or anything like that. Just the ones that stand out to me. Here’s one about Supernatural and how she might be falling out of love with it. 

“I don’t know guys, I’m finding it hard to watch supernatural these days. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of my favorite shows, it’s just totally not as good as the first 5 seasons. That and I WANT DEAN AND CASS TO BE TOGETHER! Is that so wrong? Look, Cass is an immortal being that just HAPPENED to take a male form. If he had a female form, you can bet that he and Dean would have banged already. I’ve read the tumblr posts too, the ones that talk about all the hints the writers give that Dean is gay. This is ABSOLUTELY queerbaiting, and even as a straight guy, I can see that. I have a lot of gay mutuals who have convinced me how ultimately cute Dean and Cass are, and I feel bad for them, because they’re not being treated fair. You think in its 12 seasons there would be something, but no, nothing. Pisses me off”

Here is where we start seeing a connection between Emmy and queer culture. Although she’s currently IDing as straight and male, you can tell she cares about queer representation. Now, I’m not saying that wanting good queer content makes you queer, of course not. Just that knowing that Emmy is queer, when you look back at her earlier posts, there’s some evidence there. She even talks about Castiel, a male character, having a female form, which I find interesting for obvious reasons.

Next up is a post about something outside of her fandoms, a show called Monk. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s a show focused on a detective with OCD who uses his disability to solve crimes no one else can. As someone with OCD myself, I really enjoyed the show, but it’s not without its problems. Hmm, yeah, I’ll get to those after reading the post, I think

“I’ve been watching a new show lately! Well, a show that’s new to me at least. It’s called Monk! I’m 3 seasons in, and I laugh every episode. But it’s not without its serious moments too. It’s about Adrian Monk, a detective with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and it’s like a super power to him. He can do things no one else can. But he also can’t do things that everyone else takes for granted. Mood. He always says “It’s a gift… And a curse” when talking about it. Big mood. Anyway, I highly recommend it, because it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill! I’m so used to people who are “crazy” being mass murderers or some shit. Idk, it’s heartwarming.”

I noticed one of the hashtags of her post was, “Finally found a version with captions.” This is important for later and I’ll get to it by the end of the episode. Where the previous post was the first we saw of her queerness, this is the first we’ll see about her connection with mental illness. It’s unclear if she feels her inabilities are balanced off by her abilities, or if her “mood” was just about her being unable to do what others can. Since her “big mood” is regarding Adrian Monk’s favourite quote “It’s a gift and a curse”, I like to think she was being positive and was including her abilities in the “mood.”

While I do agree with Emmy that it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill, and that’s certainly better than having yet another bad guy is who’s only evil because he’s crazy, I’m worried that it’s too positive. It’s actually a really common trope where neurodivergent people in media are seen as “super human,” like Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, or uhh, the main character from The Good Doctor, I forget his name. It makes it look like everyone with autism or OCD are geniuses, and that sort of skews how neurotypicals view people like us in a negative way. Like, I do view my OCD as a gift, I wouldn’t be able to write the way I do, or play video games the same way if I didn’t have it. But I’m not a superhuman by any means. But I’m expected to, in some sense, outperform everyone because of my OCD, because of this impossible standard set by the media. *Sigh* I’m sorry, I’m getting really off topic. I hope you don’t mind this little rant.

Back to Emmy, I find it a little upsetting that she feels herself cursed in some way. Knowing what I know about her, I like to think she was more gifted than cursed, but given the title of her blog, I doubt she would agree with me. We can glean from this post that she is disabled in some way or another. Maybe she herself has OCD? Or maybe she just relates her own, different disability to OCD? It’s hard to tell at this point, and I don’t want to spoil it, especially since it will come up again in a few posts. 

Next up, we have a post about not just queer characters, but lesbian characters. I’m sure you have heard of Overwatch by now, even if you haven’t played it. Well, the creative devs promised us that a handful of the cast was queer, and at least to me, it seemed like an empty promise. Hmm, I guess it seems a little bit like the queerbaiting conversation we had earlier. Interesting. You know what I mean, right? Like, why take the risk of pissing off the straight, cis part of your fanbase with queer characters when you can just say some characters are queer and attract a bigger queer fanbase that way? But then they did something that blew me out of the water. They made a comic where Tracer has a girlfriend. This next post from Emmy is about this reveal.

“Merry Christmas! And what a Christmas it’s been. Because I got something I’ve been asking for for a LONG time. Blizzard made Tracer gay! I’m not the only one who’s been asking for this, a huge chunk of the fandom has been saying that Tracer is only into other girls. It’s been my headcanon for so long, and now it doesn’t have to be, because it’s canon! Tracer and Emily are so cute together! And their kiss is so hot too! Yeah, lesbians are really hot in general. They’re every guy’s ultimate fantasy. Thanks, Jeff!”

An: Ok, so before we continue, I think I need to apologize on Emmy’s behalf for the way she talks about lesbians. As a trans lesbian, I had a period where I talked about lesbains that way too. Before I came to terms with that identity, I mean. Since you believe you’re a straight guy, there’s no real explanation for why you’re so into lesbians other than them being a male fantasy. But it’s more than that. It’s part of like, seeing yourself as a girl that the idea of being with a girl that likes girls... that is so fundamentally appealing. 

Like, ok. *sigh* I remember this one time very clearly… I was with my girlfriend at the time and a friend of mine at a bubble tea shop. This was probably 9 or 10 years ago now? Jeez. Anyways, this couple of girls starts making out at the table next to us, and I had a full on sexual awakening. I remember that I couldn’t look away. Mostly because my ex wouldn’t let me forget it. I got teased by my friend and berated by my ex. Because I couldn’t explain what happened to her, let alone to myself, I eventually came up with a rather math-y explanation involving vectors of attraction *laugh*. Something like, if women are attractive to me, and men are not attractive to me, then adding their vectors together gives less attraction than two women’s vectors being added together. It was pretty stupid. I don’t talk to either of those two people anymore, by the way. 

Anyways, my point is that since this is before she’s realized she’s a lesbian herself, she’s under the false impression that she needs to sexualize lesbians in order to explain why she’s so attracted to the concept. So please don’t hold that against her. 

---

With that out of the way, we can move on to her next post. It’s a piece of art she made, and it’s pretty special to me. You see, this was the way I found her blog. One of the blogs I follow, who knows which at this point, must have reblogged it and it came across my dashboard. Again, I don’t have a copy of any of Emmy’s art, but I remember it pretty well. It’s a picture of Emily wearing Tracer’s outfit... Shit… Why did I give Emmy a name so close to Emily? Emily as in Tracer’s girlfriend. Maybe it’s because of my association with her and this drawing? Either way, it’s too late now, I’m not re-recording this whole episode. *Sigh* We’ll just stick with the blogger being named Emmy. Anyways! She’s sort of looking a bit out of place, like she doesn’t know how to feel about having a Chrono-accelerator attached to her chest. There’s a speech bubble in the frame pointing off screen that says, “You look marvellous, love!”, or something to that effect, but it’s obviously supposed to be Tracer saying it. It was a really cute drawing, and I was really fond of it, so I liked and followed. Feels like so long ago. 

Anyways, she did reblog the picture afterwards, saying:

“Thank you so much for all the notes! I really appreciate the support. Who knew that something so dumb would be liked by so many people? I really like Emily, and I hope she’s added as a Hero in Overwatch soon! I feel so happy! I’m going to go and do some more drawing, so keep an eye out for more posts!”

Not much going on in this post, but I decided to read it anyway because it contrasts so heavily with the next post. Not the next time she posted, but the next post I’m going to read. Actually, it’s the last post of this episode. 

So, I’m going to warn you, this is a side of Emmy we haven’t seen yet. The really negative side. *Sigh* I don’t know what set her off, maybe nothing did, but I think this post is very important to read to you, as it clears the air about her disabilities.

“I really appreciate all the love you’ve given my art, but I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I’m so broken and worthless and I’ve only been pretending to be normal so that you’ll all like me. The truth is, I’m physically and mentally disabled, and life is just a never ending struggle. 

First off, I’m deaf. Very deaf. The quietest thing I can hear in either ear is a chainsaw. It means I can’t understand speech or anything I’d need to be social. I don’t know sign language at all, I was never taught. So I just… stay inside all day. I’ve been homeschooled by my Dad since I was young. He thinks something bad will happen to me if I go outside, because I couldn’t hear something like a car coming towards me. So I live my life online, for the most part. I feel so isolated, and like I can’t relate to anyone normal. 

Also, I have Bi-Polar Disorder. For those you don’t know of it, it basically means I have high highs and low lows. I’ve done a good job so far at hiding my lows from everyone and only showing my highs. Until now, I guess… I just feel so low today, and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I just had to be real. Even if it’s an ugly side of me that I hate. My dad hates how moody I am too. He just doesn’t get that it’s not my fault. Even my highs are hard for him to handle sometimes. Anyway, please forgive me for lying so long”

So, I sense a bit of imposter syndrome here. She’s gotten some success and because she views herself as not even a normal person, she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. It’s a pretty common feeling amongst content creators and something you have to move past if you want to make stuff. It’s like, *sigh* like me, I’m not an expert voice actor, why are people listening to me? I have tricked them into thinking I’m worth listening to. If you’re feeling that way about a recent success, just know that it’s all bullshit and it’s normal to feel that way. I wish I had that knowledge at the time I originally read that post… Because then, I would have messaged her and let her know. But yeah, we have more to unpack here.

She talks about being deaf, and the level that she describes is a profound hearing loss, which is as bad as it gets. I have that level of hearing loss in my left ear, and it’s really hard to deal with. So, I kind of can’t imagine what it would be like to have it in both ears. 

Like, for me, I remember this one time where I was at my locker in high school, and someone must have been asking me a question a few times on my bad side. She wanted to know if I had any extra bus tickets, and by the time I finally caught on that she was talking to me, she said something like “Urg, I just want to punch you.” And it wasn’t a joke either, she was very frustrated with the way my hearing loss had affected her. It made me feel small, and like I was an inconvenience to those around me. Guess it didn’t help how I felt that I had a crush on her at the time… Ha… *Sigh* It was very isolating to grow up like that. I didn’t really belong there, but I didn’t exactly belong in the deaf community either, since I could hear fine out of one ear. So when Emmy describes how isolating it is to be deaf and not know sign language, I get it. I really feel that. When I saw this post, it really made me feel for her. This is probably the point in time where I made a mental note to support her art whenever I could. 

Lastly she talks about her mental illness, being bi-polar. I know a lot less about bi-polar disorder than I do hearing loss. Though I was in a production that never wrapped up about a bi-polar teen. Actually, I was the strict dad who couldn’t understand his child’s illness, which is a similar theme seen in Emmy’s post. I’ve actually been cast as a dad 3 or 4 times now? Yeah. *Laughs* Anyways, what I understand about it is that it can be seasonal. You might be manic for a season, and depressive for another. But yeah, it doesn’t always work that way. Usually medication can help balance you out, but in Emmy’s case, she wasn’t taking any meds at this point. I’ll say it here for clarity’s sake, but her having bi-polar disorder was a self-diagnosis, not a professional one. That’ll be covered in the next episode, though. 

So now the whole “Less than Human” thing makes a bit more sense, doesn’t it? Not because it’s true in any sense, but because it was true to her. Disability is something that people tend to see as different, or othering. There’s a lot of stigma there. We can sort of tell at this point that the way her Dad views her and treats her doesn’t help her feel any better about this either. 

That’s why she likes the depiction of mental illness in Monk so much, right? Because it’s a bit of a “More than Human” approach. It gives her some hope that maybe she can be seen positively one day too. As far as movies with Deaf characters goes there’s like 100, if I recall correctly. Which is honestly pitiful compared to the amount of movies, period. So it’s more than likely that she never got to see herself in media in that perspective before. 

Also, there’s the markings of a budding trans girl in there too, which may further intensify the feeling of not being human. For years and years *sigh*, there was practically zero positive representation of trans people in media. We’re taught that feeling like this makes us freaks, and that presenting differently than we’re supposed to makes us... something worse than that. It all comes together to form something bitter and isolating. Especially before you start owning those parts of you and finding a community of your own.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! I really ranted more than I thought I would. Hopefully you all liked the anecdotal stuff I added in, didn’t really plan on doing that. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!