#if cats could draw coyote would make cute little pictures
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I can tell you're also a girlboss/boyboss on that artist grind...
hi
#lemon yells#i mean i’m not against giving them a sketchbook or soemtjign idk#if cats could draw coyote would make cute little pictures#crest would think he was rlly bad at it but would get encouragement and keep doodling lol#i’m nonbinary btw lol#* the crowd boos and throws tomatoes. i am ushered off stage *
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Christmas With Friends
Today was pretty big. It was Christmas Day in Zootopia! The kids were opening their presents, the adults went out to get some items thanks to the gift cards they got, it was even snowing. Overall, this Christmas was really starting to feel jolly. Especially for a house full of mammals. The home had its two owners inside the warm comfortable shelter that kept them cozy from the snow and cold wind outside. Michael and Katrice, the rabbit and red panda couple. They both were huddled close with their paws holding looking over at their fully decorated Christmas tree they made together. It was full of lights and ornaments and had a big bright yellow gold star on top. It truly looked breathtaking for the two of them. Amongst the noise that surrounded them was the television and the voices of their good friends. One other sound was able to catch their attention. A click with a sound of a flash. They turned around to witness what was behind them. It was a tall and slim figure with yellow and white and little bits of black spots and areas around this body. It was Hammy the cheetah. Having to wear his suit being of cranberry red and pine tree green tie to fit the Holidays. He had with him his camera, taking a moment to take pretty good looking pictures on whatever he saw as stunning. It was his passion. “Sorry, just that felt like a postcard moment.” Hammy said as he turned his camera around to show the small screen to have the two witness his very professional photography. “Dang Hammy. This looks good.” Michael told him as Hammy was happy with his work being liked by all. “Thanks. I’ll try to have this be in a postcard for next year. Just hope I don’t forget.” Hammy rubbed the back of his neck with Katrice patting him on his back. “No worries. Just send it to us. I know Michael won’t forget Christmas moments.” Katrice smirked at her rabbit who blushed slightly but nodded. Hammy went into the kitchen to lay down his camera by the counter since the table was full of different types of food to snack on. Michael went over to one side of the living room as Katrice went another. Both of them wanting to be good hosts for their guests, who also were their friends. Michael went over to a group of mammals on the couch. Watching television as it is playing some videos on a tabby cats phone. Next to the male tabby was a male coyote, a male african wild dog, and even a male silver fox. The bunny walked around and sat down next to the tabby. “Hey Jake.” Jake looked over. “Oh hey dude! I’m just showing the guys some videos about this crazy show in Japan.” Milo, the african wild dog, took a sip of water from his red cup. “Yeah. It is very odd. Who the heck would even think of stuff like this?” “Maybe odd mammals?” Shadow the silver fox stated. Having to have no red contacts or any red or purple on his fur. He wanted to look clean for his friends. Mainly, because his girlfriend otter Karen got him to be cleaning the dye off. “That, or the show itself knows its audience?” Evan Coywise, the coyote, told the guys as they all pretty much agreed with his theory. “Eh. Hey, thanks for inviting us, by the way.” Milo said to Michael with the rabbit feeling happy to hear that. “Yeah. This Christmas get together is pretty sweet.” Shadow says as he looks around to see Tod coming back with a plate of food. Having mac n cheese, some turkey, and corn on it. “Oh hey Michael!” Tod the reddish orange fox went over to sit down at the last empty seat of it as he takes a bite of the mac n cheese with the fork he had. “I was kinda surprised everyone showed up early.” Michael says as he looked to see everyone was accounted for. “Well it is rare for us to hang out together. We all are different, but we still care for each other.” Milo points out as he takes another sip of his drink. Tod looked over at Milo. “You must have drank the philosophy juice or something.” Shadow laughed from Tod’s joke as Michael and Jake watch a bit of the weird game show as they questioned about if they both could ever compete with getting a show like this. The answer seemed like a ‘no’ to the tabby and bunny. Katrice in the meanwhile went over to the side of the house where the chairs from the kitchen were moved as a couple of mammals used them to sit down and starting to draw. One pig, the other a rabbit, and the last a raccoon with blue fur where its black should be. All three of them were female and another common thing was they were artists. Katrice raised a brow. “Hey you three. What are you all doing?” The gray rabbit with brown ears and brown stylish hair looked up at the red panda. “Oh sorry! We are doing a sort of challenge here.” “Oh?” The red panda seemed curious to know. Helena looked up as she fixed her glasses. “Yeah! We are trying to draw the tree you guys have and post our artworks on our tweets. The most liked picture wins” “Ah cool!” Said Katrice. “What would the winner get?” “Bragging rights.” The raccoon said as she took a sip of Dr.Pepper as she kept drawing with a smirk. “Oh, after we finish up, we wanna know if you wanna chat and eat with us in the kitchen.” “Awww. I’d love to. The kitchen seems a bit crowded though.” Katrice saw that inside were Hammy, Diana, Karen, and the brown bear Lou and the other rabbit Gerry. All of them talking and laughing and cracking jokes. “We can slip in fine.” Helena says to Katrice. “Besides, I am about to call quits before my paw breaks.” She sets her paper down on an empty chair they had. “Ehh. Same.” Fever and Trish said in unison as they gave their artworks to Hel as she puts them on top of hers. “I think I am gonna get something to eat as well.” Katrice said to her friends as the girls got up and the four of them started to head into the kitchen. Michael gets up as well, his stomach growling since he had to skip breakfast along with Katrice since they were busy cleaning and setting up the food. “Sorry guys, but I gotta get something to eat.” “It’s cool dude.” Evan says to him. “Hey, could you get me a bread roll? I want to finish this crazy show with the guys before I eat.” Michael obliged as he went around the couch and started to head towards the kitchen where he witnessed his girlfriend and their friends having fun. He walks in to go find a roll as Katrice comes up to him and smiles. “Well, everyone seems to be having fun here.” “Heh. I know. We did great Katrice.” Michael says with him smiling back at her. This got the attention of the skunk who saw the two being cute together and calls out to them. “Awwwe~ You guys having a little date over there?!~” Diana jokingly said with a smug grin. Her glasses even added more smugness to it. Michael and Katrice blushed and were trying to act cool with Diana laughing softly. “I’m just joking you guys.” Karen sipped her cup of tea. “Diana is a jokester I found out. She looks so sweet but yet can act like a spice at times.” “Eh. I just am Yin and Yang really. Both inside and out.” Diana ate a cracker as Lou thought about her sentence and snickers.. “Ok, that’s pretty funny. Especially since you are black and white.” Lou laughed as he was eating some cheese and grapes on his plate with Diana looking at herself but then smirking and trying not to laugh as well. She really walked into that one. Karen smiled along with Michael and Katrice while the mammals then hear that familiar click. Hammy had his camera out and took another picture to treasure. “Sorry again. Just, this whole gives off good vibes. I wanna cherish these you know?” Hammy put the camera down back on the counter as everyone was telling him it was fine. “Yeah dude. Nothing wrong with taking good pictures with friends.” Lou said with Karen and Diana agreeing. Michael looks at the roll in his paw. Then he remembered what he went in here for. “Oh! I almost forgot!” “Forgot about what?” A mammal came into the room with everyone looking over to who said that. It was Daniel the weasel. He was a pretty chill friend of Michael so of course he had to come and celebrate with him and his girlfriend and his friends. He was in the bathroom having to have to take a phone call from his parents. He was finished so he came down to see what was happening. “Oh nothing Daniel. I just gotta give Evan this roll. Also I planned on eating as well.” Michael tells Daniel as the weasel goes to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. Michael looks around with his mind wanting to get a bowl of Katrice’s mac n cheese. She always makes the best food ever. Before the bunny could get started with getting a bowl, Gerry comes over and gives a big hug to both Michael and the red panda. “Jeez your hugs are pretty strong” Katrice said as he lets go with Michael holding on to the roll for dear life. “Hey I give bigger hugs too.” Lou stated with him going to get some sugar cookies. “Sorry, but I was just about ready to head out. My family is gonna head on over to my other family for dinner as well.” Gerry explains as he took a sugar cookie and started to eat one. “Awww. Sucks you gotta go.” Fever said with her and Trish eating some ham as Gerry sighed. “Well, the Holidays are pretty busy this time for year after all.” The light brown rabbit said as he took another bite. “You was pretty chill to hang around.” Daniel tells Gerry who took that compliment. “You gotta hang out with Michael and some of us at ‘Boys Night’” Gerry rubbed his chin. “I think I got time this weekend. So yeah!” He finished his cookie. “Besides, I am gonna throw a New Years Eve party so we can spend more time together!” “Wooo! Boys night!” Jake shouted as he and the rest of the guys came over. Evan seeing the roll and thanking Michael as he takes it and begins to eat it. Fever looked at the whole group that was in the big clean kitchen. Full of laughs and full of cheer. She was there when Hammy took that picture of Michael, Katrice, Lou and Karen with Diana as well. It was starting to give her an idea. She poked on the shoulders of Michael and Katrice as the two looked over and she whispered something into their ears. Both the bunny and the red panda’s ears stood up and had the same smile as their friend. “Hey Hammy.” Katrice says with the cheetah looking over to her. “Got enough space for one more picture?” “Of course!” Hammy said with pride. “What you got in mind?” Michael then spoke up. “We want to take a Christmas picture. Together with all of us here.” Everyone looked at each other. Quickly, they all pretty much agreed to that idea. “Alrighty. Been a rarity since I done one of these.” Trish said as she finished her plate. “Same here.” Jake said as he sipped his drink of cola. “Where would we take the pic at?” Milo questioned with Evan looking over at the tree. “Hmm. What about the Christmas Tree?” Evan points out. “Sure!” Michael and Katrice said together. “Alright!” Tod says as he went over to pick up a chair and carry it in the living room with everyone starting to follow. Karen and Shadow held each other close in front of the tree. Same with Michael and Katrice. Tod sets down the chair far away from the group so the photo can get the whole view of the mammals, the tree and decorations, even a glimpse of the snow outside. The group starts to form big with Lou being perfectly in place of the camera. The same goes for everyone. Hammy would be the last as Tod goes to join in the photo. He sets the camera down onto the chair and sets up the camera to be timed as it begins to beep. Quickly he runs in and fills in the last spot. “Oh! We should say Merry Christmas.” Katrice tells everyone with Michael loving the idea. “Sounds good my pumpkin spice raccoon. But why?” Michael asked in confusion. “Idk. Seems holly and jolly.” The red panda says with the camera starting to beep more, saying it was close to take the photo. “MERRY CHRISTMAS!” The group all shouted at the same time as the photo flashed and clicked, the picture being taken. Everyone would pretty much agree. This Christmas was the best one yet. Maybe, even the best one ever. They were glad to spend it together. Merry Christmas to all of Zootopia, and to the people that mean a lot to me. - Spazzie Bunnie Katrice belongs to @msitubeatz Fever belongs to @feverwildehopps Trish belongs to @trashasaurusrex Helena belongs to @helthehatter Diana belongs to @skeletonguys-and-ragdolls Gerry belongs to @androace-bunny Evan belongs to @wartoxdude Hammy belongs to @hammytotherescue Jake belongs to @kingdomofkitten Shadow belongs to @n-p-wilde Karen belongs to @azshade Lou belongs to @firecracker-art-lounge Milo belongs to @juantriforce042 Tod belongs to @thefoxninja17 Daniel belongs to @owningsuperset7
#zootopia#zoosonas#michael#katrice#fever#trish#helena#diana#gerry#evan#hammy#jake#shadow#karen#lou#milo#tod#daniel#christmas day#zootopia fanfic
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Seeking Literate and Dedicated Partners!
Hello, you can call me Doe! I'm in my 20s, a student, and a proud cat mom. I write multiple paragraphs/novella style (200-500+ words). I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. I understand if the scene doesn’t have alot going on and therefore requires less like rapid fire. I adore having long, thoughtful replies where we truly immerse ourselves in the world. I'm hoping to find a partner whose as enthusiastic and passionate about the plot and writing as I am. When I get invested in a story, it’s 100% dedication. Getting a reply is the highlight of my day. I'm a big fan of romance and using face claims. I’m the type to make pinterest boards, spam you with gifs, headcanons, and send you songs that remind me of our characters and/or ship. I'll get excited if we come up with a great plot idea or if our characters are being cute or going to get into trouble. I live for this kind of stuff honestly. Last but not least I only do MxF and don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along. I'd prefer female authors writing male characters but male writers are fine too. Desperately Searching For - 21+ partners - For you to have an excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Both in character and out of character. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies). - Plot before smut. While mature themes will be in my plots, and are even encouraged, there needs to be a good chemistry between our characters. I like to have a good mix of plot and tastefully written smut, along with doses of angst and fluff. - For you to write as an older male (Late 30s-40+). I'm a sucker for the gruff and tough men who secretly have a soft heart. I also love those grumpy, hypermasculine men being intimidated by darling, soft yet commanding, and pretty women. - The more description, the better! I'm looking for someone can write as much as me (2 to 4 paragraphs or more) and really bring the story to life. I lose interest if I'm the only one that's invested/enthusiastic or coming up with plot ideas. Quality writing makes my heart happy, as does world building together. - The use of real life face claims and joining me in the wonderful world of ship/character development isn't a requirement but I'd sure be delighted if we were on the same page in this regard. (I won't use anime faces, only art if you're uncomfortable with real life) - Someone who won't leave without warning or explanation after sending the first post. I'm looking for the long term here, and I have been greatly saddened by how many partners have left me high and dry recently. If you've made it this far, thank you! You won't be disappointed in writing with me. I tend to be online daily and I'd like it if you were too. Please let me know if you're going to be inactive, long days/weeks of silence make me nervous. Below are genres and pairings I love. Feel free to combine two or more and I’m sure we can come up with something great! Genres: - anything mafia related - crimes in remote locations - small towns and supernatural happenings - post apocalyptic/dystopia - supernatural/modern fantasy (werewolves, shapeshifters, a/b/o dynamic and everything that comes with it, monster x hunter) - southern/mid western/gothic - murder mystery (small town or big city) - western inspired - modern/dark fairy tale retellings - sci-fi/cyberpunk - little coastal towns or little towns in the mountains - emotionally charged/dark and gritty - superpowers/gifted - unresolved sexual tension/slow burn - mythology (modern / hades x persephone) - redemption - action - fake dating - pacific northwest - suburban gothic Pairings: - age gaps (older man x younger woman) - enemies to lovers - cop x criminal - doctor x patient - friends turned lovers/pining - grumpy x sunshine - the broken man x the woman that becomes his light - fbi agents/cop partners - dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman - reunited old lovers and/or friends - boss x employee - neighbors - firefighter/cop x victim - mentor x mentee - spies - hurt/comfort - height differences - pet names - lady and the tramp esque - creature x human (I'm always up for NSFW things while in their beast form.) - ex-con x anyone - detective x witness - detective x suspect - person in witness protection x anyone - bodyguard x assignment - widow/er falling in love again Tropes: the papa wolf (craving), badass baritone, cultured badass, jerk with a heart of gold. ladykiller in love, mountain man, mysterious protector, southern gentleman, tall, dark, and handsome, gentleman criminal Plot Ideas: (these are just suggestions and if you have other ideas I'd like to hear them) 1. age gap + height difference + modern supernatural + werewolf x human + dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman A mentor x mentee pairing where the mentee has been a victim of some sorts and that's why they’re taken under the wing of the mentor. I'm picturing a guy capable of towering over most men and also knocking most men out, but with a soft spot (that takes a bit to uncover) for his mentee. He's a retired hitman, but such profession is nothing you can retire from. He's living out in a small town, keeping to himself and being the local town grump. Something happens to her, something horrible that makes her want to do something even though she is normally the sunshine in everyone's life, and through contacts she is given the address to a man who can teach her. (more to the plot available upon request) 2. age gap + spy x spy + modern supernatural + werewolf x coyote shapeshifter He has already been secretly hired by the US government to investigate this mysterious, new criminal organization. It would be at her first mission and already aware she will be working alongside a more experienced, freelancer agent. We could start with them meeting at the airport and we can go from there. 3. Muse A is a infamous criminal and Muse B is a FBI agent. Muse B has been helping Muse A take out their competition. They could kill each other but would die for each other. (Based on The Blacklist) 4. werelion x human + age gap + unresolved sexual tension Due to the species going extinct thanks to a rare virus that attacks pregnant women, this small werelion community is going out to find new blood. Including drawing in an American tourist who just arrived in Africa and has no idea how big her destiny is. I have more ideas, but this is just the general pitch. Fandoms: (Will only do oc x oc/characters inspired by canon pairings) Star Wars, X Files, Haven, The Blacklist, Fringe, Zoo, Stranger Things, Heroes, The Wolf Among Us, The Walking Dead, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, Stephen King's Universes, Red Dead Redemption, Marvel (Last but not least, I have a list of kinks if anyone's interested) I use email and discord to write. Contact me at [email protected] or Doe#4017. If you add me using the latter, let me know where you came from. Please be detailed when you message me, let me know why you chose to contact me. Seeing "hey do you wanna rp?" is a guaranteed way to turn me off. Look forward to hearing from you!
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Hard Boiled / SS scene rewrite (Joker x Harley)
so this is a rewrite of the Joker’s club scene in SS, that I’ve changed to give a more classic feel and dynamic to the clown duo. requested after posting a headcanon, I figured this setting fitted them both better imo. Enjoy babies ! M rating / oneshot
🔷♦️🔷♦️🔷♦️🔷♦️🔷
A coyote was crushed beneath a giant anvil, dropped from a cliffside and down into the cavern. An insufferable talking rabbit was evading the gunshots of a stuttering hunter. A cute-eyed canary taunted a skinny, desperate, stalking cat… Animated and action packed, the brass band of the Looney Tunes theme song crackled out of old speakers, cracking and popping in its loudness. The tiny television’s signal kept dropping, from cartoon to white noise, cartoon to static, but the Joker wasn’t paying much attention to the constant flitting of picture quality. He was staring endlessly at the colours, the quirky animation, eyes glazed and mindless. He was leant back, legs spread, sinking deeper and deeper into the soft comforts of their scuffed leather sofa. Harley’s tunelessly high humming kept him teetering on the edge of awareness, just irritating him enough that he didn’t drop off into a totally dissociative state. Not quite lost to the childish violence of the cartoon crazy. The warehouse – what was their humble abode – amplified noise and echoed, a cacophony. The TV, Harley’s humming, her hurried use of pots and pans bang-clang-clanging in their crudely made kitchen filled the vacant space, a heightened sound of exaggerated homelife kept the Joker from disappearing into his endless thoughts completely.
Harley was happy like this, without the clown white, her blonde hair wrapped up in a scruffy bun. She loved to play mommys and daddys whenever they shared little moments of downtime together. She’d flip pancakes (he’d find flakes of plaster in his portion since she failed to catch them, always.) She would redecorate and customise the warehouse, fairy lights were wound around every steel beam, splatters of green or red paint would freckle her face. She’d hang his best newspaper clippings in colourful frames and littered with lipstick kisses. He really did love her in those small moments, when she’d smile proudly, a shadow of a woman she desperately wanted to be, how she wanted them to be, and somehow, sometimes they were. Harley worked hard at being the doting wife, the soft lover, the loyal sidekick and companion. It was an elaborate roleplay of another life that Joker couldn’t quite partake in, so he’d placate himself, sit his ass on the couch and stare at the screen like any other husband would do.
The Joker shifted, adjusting his pants and sighing at the shitty signal. “Harley!” He aimed his pistol lazily at the bent wire above the television box. It wasn’t that Harley’s games were boring per say, but there was a real reason why Daddy kept himself busy. Without the meticulous planning, the sleeplessness, the chaos – memories came creeping in the stillness and quiet. But tonight, downtime was necessary. Partly running the Gotham criminal underground meant for meetings behind closed doors (much to his disappointment) and quiet nights that didn’t always draw police attention or panicked crowds (then what really was the point?) Harley made the most of these particular moments, while the Joker played the role she saw fit of him, watched absently when she rolled his cigars or adjusted the television set.
“How’s that puddin’?” she planted a kiss on his cheek and the cartoons were back in all their violent vibrancy, though his gaze followed her as she waltzed back to their kitchen. Harley smiled widely from behind the countertop, catching his eye, looked mild and warm in her flowery apron and a white shirt of his own. Something squeezed viciously at his throat, suddenly unable to swallow and he snapped away from her waving with a wooden spoon in hand, sneered instead of smiling and rummaged for the remote amongst a mess of cushions.
“I hate this channel!” Shouting. A sudden nervous anger stirring in the pit of his stomach. It became too important to change up the channel, an antsy need to get up off the sofa and throw things around in his searching. “Harleeeeeeeey, where’d you put my Tom n’ Jerry tapes?!”
Before she could even answer over the din, the wide shutter doors threw open, bleeding street light into their hideout home. Frost stood, his standard suited unflappable self, accompanied by another figure, their invited guest for the evening, newcomer and self entitled gangster in Gotham City, Monster T. Who nodded, smiled smugly and naively felt welcomed into the warehouse by Joker’s upward glance alone. That tightness was still at his throat. Jaw solid, he watched this acquaintance and his sharply dressed right-hand approach. Monster T was certainly imposing, impressive in both size and swagger, but an idiot for ever accepting an invite to the Joker’s own Hahacienda without considering the cause. Joker smiled, all teeth and tight – stared at T’s outstretched hand and said nothing.
“No touching,” Frost explained curtly.
“Fair enough,” the man shrugged simply, and he sat when Joker gestured him to, only after taking a seat and settling himself first.
Monster T was mighty pleased with himself, he could tell from the slight simper, his relaxed demeanour, he believed himself privileged (important) to be personally escorted by the Joker’s own PA. Sat back, arms spread, he surveyed Joker’s warehouse with an eyebrow raised, a humoured expression across his scarred face. “Nice place ya’ got here,” he commented, glancing across at Harley less subtley than he most likely thought. Joker felt his molars grind, but offered a tiny fleeting smile at T’s feigned compliment nonetheless.
This wasn’t usual procedure for the Joker, to open house to every wannabe thug in Gotham City. The well educated folks, likes of Falcone and Maroni’s men, never attended any one-to-one time with the clown prince of crime. Considered his business a waste of time and money, knew the likely consequences of meeting with the Joker alone… but sometimes new naive blood, the likes of Monster T, arrived in the city with big dreams, to make a dollar or two in the drug trade, would set up shop on the Joker’s turf unknowingly, mistaking themselves for big shot gangsters, barely grown and stepping on toes all over Gotham. He’d need to be quick to learn it didn’t work like that, either the Joker’s empire got a generous cut, or Monster T got cut, his choice.
The politics of this bored Joker completely, but he understood it necessary from Frost’s strategic suggestions and Harley’s constant nagging for cash. A long time back, before the clowns, cards and needless carnage – before the Bat – he knew he’d relished in the backstabbing, double crossing, dangerous game. Some life of long ago. And there were parts of him that clung to the taste of it. That if he let go he’d lose it completely – and it would be lost to the dark, like so many other memories.
T coughed to clear his throat and Joker was rudely roused back to the land of the living. Smoke filled the room and a strong, bitter, burning odor assaulted his senses. Despite himself, he choked too. Harley was fanning a flame with a tea towel, was loudly apologetic and flustered, face flushed from the heat of the stove. Whatever she was cooking, was wrecked and oil bubbled. Harley let out little squeaks as she was splattered. “Oops!”
“Oh, wow,” T laughed, waving the smog from his face. “I don’t know how you do it Joker.”
“Do what?” He didn’t like that condescending tone.
“You gotta get ya’self a girl that can cook,” T continued matter of factly, chuckling. “Nothin’ better than comin’ home to a hot meal and a warm bed.”
Joker laughed too and he laughed loudly – a sharp and barking sound that came suddenly and unexpectedly, breaking the casual conversation and shattering the illusion of their like-mindedness. He rolled his eyes. Typical Harley, right? What a useless, stupid woman, couldn’t even cook a couple of eggs right, and all in front of their welcome visitor! He glared, grinning at T, “you’re tellin’ me!” Joker cracked, slapping his thigh. The chaos in the kitchen went silent. “Hey, why don’t you join us for dinner?” Joker leaned in, elbows on knees. “What d’ya say?” He didn’t wait nor care for a response. “Harley, sweetness, light of my life, get out the good china – we got ourselves a guest!”
“Oh goodie!” Harley squealed, followed by some more bang-clang-clanging of pots, the fire finally extinguished. Room for more failing of Harley’s home economics.
“Look, Joker, man, I didn’t mean –”
He raised his hand, kept his smile. “Ah-ah-ah. Dinner first, business second.”
It was true, Harley had her faults. Hell, she had more faults than the next one – and if he were to write a list, it’d be as long as his arm. She couldn’t cook for shit, sure. She didn’t make much sense, she had a tendency to blow off the handle at every little thing. She was difficult. She was a disaster. But Harley was his woman, riddled with mistakes and imperfections that made her all the more perfect for him. Who was this jumped up prick to be telling him the kinda woman he needed? Who was he to speak up at all? He was just some cunt from Chicago, selling coke on his streets, with the cheek – the ignorance, the sheer fucking audacity – to open his snake mouth and spit shit on his Harley Quinn.
T was no longer slouching, back straight and solid, and no longer as smug or as proud as his entrance. He shifted his dark eyes from Harley (who was sing-songing so happily) to Joker, whose head was tilted, watching in silence. “Serious – no need, I already ate,” T tried, squirming and swallowing, his adam’s apple bobbing.
“Don’t be so silly,” Joker waggled one signet ring finger. “A man’s never full, is he?” He narrowed his gaze, grinning. “Don’t insult me now.”
T gushed, guffawed, “I ain’t ever –”
“Hope yer hungry boys!” Harley crooned, in that dulcet high and trying tone of hers. “Mama’s made her best yet!” She pulled, with an excruciatingly painful scraping on concrete, the coffee table up to their feet, set down three bowls, three sets of rusty spoons. “You too, Frosty? This’ll warm ya' right up!” She giggled at her own terrible pun and Joker felt his eyes rolling upwards.
“Hurry it along Harls–” Joker was persistent. “We’re starving.”
“Yessirree!” She saluted, her hand inside a massive oven mitt. “Comin’ right up!” and tottered back to the oven where her burnt broth was bubbling.
Monster T was sweating, his t-shirt was soaked at the neck and it wasn’t the heat from the kitchen that had him shifting uncomfortably. He blinked at the bowls, and the table before him. Fingers were twitching, he looked to the shutters. “Have I done somethin’ to–”
“Let’s eat!” Joker had grabbed for his spoon, sat anticipating a feast with his feet tapping the floor.
Harley returned, stumbling with the sheer weight of the cooking pot, a mitten and a thick towel wrapped up to her elbows. She was smiling proudly, though the pot smelt rancid. Even the infallible Frost flinched as the scent reached him. Joker gave an exaggerated “can’t wait,” meeting with Monster T across the table. He was clearly panicked by the pot and it’s bubbling. The stench of hot oil. The simple man seemed like he was finally getting the message.
“Look, Joker, I don’t want no beef…”
“No beef?” Joker repeated, scoffing. “No beef?” And Harley hung at Joker’s side, joining in on the forced laughter. “You hear that sweet cheeks, he doesn’t want any beef!”
“Just as well then puddin’ that I made minestrone!” Harley cackled. And with all of her might, thrust the pot over, pouring all of it’s scalding contents onto T’s head. He reacted too late, taking a face full of the molten liquid. Clothes stuck to his flesh and tore in one fluid, flailing movement. He screamed only once before the screeches turned to gurgles. Skin sloughed from the bone, soft tender threads of blood and tissue, sinew that fizzed and bubbled and bloated. He was blinded, bawling and mouth gaping silently for mercy. And then he was gone, twitching as he tumbled onto the table. Nerve endings buzzing as he bled out and boiled over.
“How’s that tastin’ huh?” Harley asked, clearly just as (if not more so) offended by Monster T’s comments.
Joker was still laughing, snarling, prodding at the trembling mess as a crackling scent of pork hit the back of his throat. He howled with sadist delight and disgust. “Just like mother used to make!” And pulled Harley in for a smack on the cheek. That’s my girl. Who says she’s a bad cook? Joker clicked his fingers. “Frost, clear this shit off my table. Harley’s gonna make us some eggs.”
“Sunny side up, baby?”
“Sunny side up poo.”
🔷♦️🔷♦️🔷♦️🔷♦️🔷
If you liked it, feel free to hit up my inbox and suggest another scene from SS you’d like rewritten ! ( jarley content only ) much love, madluv 😘
#joker x harley#suicide squad#jarley#joker#the joker#harley quinn#my writing#cant format from my phone sorry
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Seeking Literate and Dedicated Partners
Hello, you can call me Doe! I'm in my 20s, a student, and a proud cat mom. I write multiple paragraphs/novella style (200-500+ words). I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. I understand if the scene doesn’t have alot going on and therefore requires less like rapid fire. I adore having long, thoughtful replies where we truly immerse ourselves in the world. I'm hoping to find a partner whose as enthusiastic and passionate about the plot and writing as I am. When I get invested in a story, it’s 100% dedication. Getting a reply is the highlight of my day. I'm a big fan of romance and using face claims. I’m the type to make pinterest boards, spam you with gifs, headcanons, and send you songs that remind me of our characters and/or ship. I'll get excited if we come up with a great plot idea or if our characters are being cute or going to get into trouble. I live for this kind of stuff honestly. Last but not least I only do MxF and don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along. I'd prefer female authors writing male characters but male writers are fine too. Desperately Searching For - 21+ partners - For you to have an excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Both in character and out of character. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies). - Plot before smut. While mature themes will be in my plots, and are even encouraged, there needs to be a good chemistry between our characters. I like to have a good mix of plot and tastefully written smut, along with doses of angst and fluff. - For you to write as an older male (Late 30s-40+). I'm a sucker for the gruff and tough men who secretly have a soft heart. I also love those grumpy, hypermasculine men being intimidated by darling, soft yet commanding, and pretty women. - The more description, the better! I'm looking for someone can write as much as me (2 to 4 paragraphs or more) and really bring the story to life. I lose interest if I'm the only one that's invested/enthusiastic or coming up with plot ideas. Quality writing makes my heart happy, as does world building together. - The use of real life face claims and joining me in the wonderful world of ship/character development isn't a requirement but I'd sure be delighted if we were on the same page in this regard. (I won't use anime faces, only art if you're uncomfortable with real life) - Someone who won't leave without warning or explanation after sending the first post. I'm looking for the long term here, and I have been greatly saddened by how many partners have left me high and dry recently. If you've made it this far, thank you! You won't be disappointed in writing with me. I tend to be online daily and I'd like it if you were too. Please let me know if you're going to be inactive, long days/weeks of silence make me nervous. Below are genres and pairings I love. Feel free to combine two or more and I’m sure we can come up with something great! Genres: - anything mafia related - crimes in remote locations - small towns and supernatural happenings - post apocalyptic/dystopia - supernatural/modern fantasy (werewolves, shapeshifters, a/b/o dynamic and everything that comes with it, monster x hunter) - southern/mid western/gothic - murder mystery (small town or big city) - western inspired - modern/dark fairy tale retellings - sci-fi/cyberpunk - little coastal towns or little towns in the mountains - emotionally charged/dark and gritty - superpowers/gifted - unresolved sexual tension/slow burn - mythology (modern / hades x persephone) - redemption - action - fake dating - pacific northwest - suburban gothic Pairings: - age gaps (older man x younger woman) - enemies to lovers - cop x criminal - doctor x patient - friends turned lovers/pining - grumpy x sunshine - the broken man x the woman that becomes his light - fbi agents/cop partners - dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman - reunited old lovers and/or friends - boss x employee - neighbors - firefighter/cop x victim - mentor x mentee - spies - hurt/comfort - height differences - pet names - lady and the tramp esque - creature x human (I'm always up for NSFW things while in their beast form.) - ex-con x anyone - detective x witness - detective x suspect - person in witness protection x anyone - bodyguard x assignment - widow/er falling in love again Tropes: the papa wolf (craving), badass baritone, cultured badass, jerk with a heart of gold. ladykiller in love, mountain man, mysterious protector, southern gentleman, tall, dark, and handsome, gentleman criminal Plot Ideas: (these are just suggestions and if you have other ideas I'd like to hear them) 1. age gap + height difference + modern supernatural + werewolf x human + dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman A mentor x mentee pairing where the mentee has been a victim of some sorts and that's why they’re taken under the wing of the mentor. I'm picturing a guy capable of towering over most men and also knocking most men out, but with a soft spot (that takes a bit to uncover) for his mentee. He's a retired hitman, but such profession is nothing you can retire from. He's living out in a small town, keeping to himself and being the local town grump. Something happens to her, something horrible that makes her want to do something even though she is normally the sunshine in everyone's life, and through contacts she is given the address to a man who can teach her. (more to the plot available upon request) 2. age gap + spy x spy + modern supernatural + werewolf x coyote shapeshifter He has already been secretly hired by the US government to investigate this mysterious, new criminal organization. It would be at her first mission and already aware she will be working alongside a more experienced, freelancer agent. We could start with them meeting at the airport and we can go from there. 3. Muse A is a infamous criminal and Muse B is a FBI agent. Muse B has been helping Muse A take out their competition. They could kill each other but would die for each other. (Based on The Blacklist) 4. werelion x human + age gap + unresolved sexual tension Due to the species going extinct thanks to a rare virus that attacks pregnant women, this small werelion community is going out to find new blood. Including drawing in an American tourist who just arrived in Africa and has no idea how big her destiny is. I have more ideas, but this is just the general pitch. Fandoms: (Will only do oc x oc/characters inspired by canon pairings) Star Wars, X Files, Haven, The Blacklist, Fringe, Zoo, Stranger Things, Heroes, The Wolf Among Us, The Walking Dead, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, Stephen King's Universes, Red Dead Redemption, Marvel (Last but not least, I have a list of kinks if anyone's interested) I use email and discord to write. Contact me at [email protected] or Doe#4017. If you add me using the latter, let me know where you came from. Look forward to hearing from you!
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