#if beregond dies i am going to be. very upset.

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: Minas Tirith

(So I would like to start this off by saying that I’m writing this from the perspective of having already finished the chapter a while ago and had a couple days to chew on it. This is not a live-blog; this is a recap. The reason for this disclaimer will become clear below. ;-P)

I want to say something about these portions of Pippin’s ride with Gandalf, but nothing I say will really do it justice. There’s just something dreamlike, spell-binding, nostalgic, melancholy, and longing about it. The whole world whirling by under Shadowfax’s hooves while Pippin slips in and out of sleep.

People talk about the strange, extraordinary feeling that the scene at the Grey Havens gives them, but I can actually kind of identify that feeling, because I’ve thought about it a lot. This, though? I can’t even identify what emotion this is giving me. It’s like waking up and yearning for a dream you can remember less by the second. Wow.

“Sleep again, and do not be afraid! For you are not going like Frodo to Mordor, but to Minas Tirith, and there you will be as safe as you can be anywhere in these days. If Gondor falls, or if the Ring is taken, then the Shire will be no refuge.” “You do not comfort me.” Hahahaha there’s Tolkien’s bathos!

“He wondered where Frodo was, and if he was already in Mordor, or if he was dead; and he did not know that Frodo from far away looked on that same moon as it said beyond Gondor ere the coming of the day.” Hnnnngg my heart TT-TT

Hahaha the way that Pippin takes offense to being called a man AND being called brave X’-D

Bruh I dunno how people can read the description of Minas Tirith and actually picture in their heads what it looks like. I can see it now, because I’ve seen it in the movie, but it’s no wonder that this description made Little Me’s head spin.

I’m glad the movies took the comedy route here because Gandalf giving Pippin a long list of Things You’re Not Allowed to Talk About is very funny

Broooo Denethor’s face reminds Pippin more of Aragorn than it does Boromir 8-O Something something noble lineage and dramatic parallels…

Pippin immediately stuttering as soon as Denethor asks him a question is a huge mood

Movie!Denethor when you meet him: Grumpy. Grieving. A few crayons missing from the box. Easily not somebody you’d ever want to be around on purpose. Book!Denethor when you meet him: Serious. Level-headed. Shrewd. Asks intelligent and uncomfortably probing questions. A little bit manipulative. Still not somebody you’d want to have over for lunch, but someone you have to respect even if you don’t like him.

“[Denethor] turned his dark eyes on Gandalf, and now Pippin saw a likeness between the two, and he felt the strain between them, almost as if he saw a line of smoldering fire, drawn from eye to eye, that might suddenly burst into flame.” This is literally the same comic book effect that I used in these comics what

Speaking as a normie who also doesn’t have this stuff memorized, I find Pippin wondering about Gandalf’s age to be absolutely hilarious. “Well, my boy, to understand that, you’ll have to read this little thing called the Silmarillion—”

“Was it so, or had he only imagined it, that as he spoke of the Stones a sudden gleam of his eye had glanced upon Pippin’s face?” Ohohoho, foreshadowing??

(This is brilliant because at this point you could just write it off as Pippin’s overactive guilt from looking into the Palantir a couple days ago, but I’m also fairly certain we’re gonna find out later that Denethor has one of the Stones too, so?? Maybe he saw Pippin too?? Who knows???)

Denethor calls Pippin “my liege”, “half kindly, half mockingly”. I don’t really have a comment on this except that I find it fascinating he’d refer to Pippin as a superior, even sarcastically.

I can’t even paraphrase Denethor and Gandalf’s rap battle without making it less concise and biting than it actually is. Denethor says “let your wrath at an old man’s folly run off, and then if you’re going to come back, let it be to my comfort” and Gandalf says “BOI don’t even start with me, you can’t use your grief to hide, I see your game and we both know you’re no old man yet; when you’re a dotard, you will die!” SAVAGE—

“I am also a steward. Did you not know?” I’m sure Gandalf is just talking about the free peoples of Middle Earth being under his care, but my first thought went to, “I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Arnor…”

“Yet in the wizard’s face he saw at first only lines of care and sorrow; though as he looked more intently he perceived that under all there was a great joy: a fountain of mirth enough to set a kingdom laughing, where it to gush forth.” Bro there is something INCREDIBLY Biblical about that, I can’t even. The utterly overwhelming wellsprings of joy in a being powerful enough to see beyond the present grim circumstances into a bright and glorious future. “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God…”

“Indeed you did your best, and I hope that it may be long before you find yourself in such a tight corner again between two such terrible old men.” Gandalf’s self-depreciation is genuinely making me feel better. Pippin isn’t even full-grown yet, and I’ve been a kid before, so I know getting stuck between the grown-ups when they’re arguing is TERRIFYING. This little bit of encouragement is badly needed.

“Well, there is no need to brood on what tomorrow may bring. For one thing, tomorrow will be certain to being worse than today, for many days to come.” First of all, mood. Secondly, I think that’s a good role model for how to deal with times like these. “This is gonna suck! Now let’s get out there and do what we have to do.”

Pippin’s first concern, the instant he’s left alone: “I want breakfast :-(”

(Okay so here’s where the recap disclaimer comes in. I’ve had a couple of days to think about it, and after much careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that Beregond is my new husbando.)

(NONONONO LISTEN. SHUT UP, STOP HECKLING ME, LISTEN. Look, I didn’t REMEMBER about Beregond until rereading this, okay?? I’m fairly certain I skipped through the Gondor and Rohan bits pretty quickly—because kingdoms of Men looked a LOT the same to Little Kid Me—and Beregond is NOT in the movies, so there was nothing to make him stick in my mind. BUT. HOLY COW. HE IS THE BEST(TM). So I’m gonna be keeping a counter of Beregond Being A Dreamboat for the rest of this post. Ready? Ready. Okay.)

Pippin has been left alone. Gandalf left on business, and now he’s stuck in an unfamiliar place with no idea of what to do. He sees a man coming up the street and makes up his mind to say hello because he’s lonely. He doesn’t need to! That man comes right up, introduces himself, welcomes Pippin to Gondor, and offers his hand to shake. He doesn’t gawk at Pippin. He doesn’t spend too much time interrogating him about who and what he is. He’s just like, “Hi :-D You’re the Halfling, right? I’ve been sent to show you around.” He’s so friendly and laid-back and easy-going I love him <3 DING!

Gandalf is gone for all of two seconds before Pippin almost blabs about Aragorn to somebody. Can’t take this fool of a Took anywhere.

Beregond asks good questions. He asks for clarification of terms, like “who is Aragorn?” and “what is a Hobbit?”. That proves he’s paying attention, and that he’s intelligent and curious and attentive and genuinely interested in what Pippin has to say. DING!

Beregond: “Is there anything you would like to know?” Pippin, hesitantly: “B b break fast? ? 🥺”

Beregond laughs so easily. I freakin’ love him. He asks Pippin “you haven’t eaten anything today?” and Pippin says “I had some wine and a white cake or two, but I had to answer questions for an hour and I’m hungry >_<” and Beregond laughs and jokes “at the table small men may do the greater deeds, we say”, clearly thinking of children—OF WHICH HE HAS ONE, so he’d know! DING!

And THEN he says “sounds like you’ve had as good a breakfast as any of us soldiers get around here” and when Pippin’s face does a “D-8 !!!” he laughs AGAIN like “nonono it’s okay I’ll find you some food, don’t you worry!” He’s kind and understanding AND he’s got snacks!! DING!

And then! When Pippin says “wait, Gandalf asked me to check on Shadowfax,” Beregond says: “But come! You shall make me acquainted with this good horse. I love beasts, and we see them seldom in this stony city…” LIKE HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS MAN, HE LOVES ANIMALS, HE’S SO EXCITED TO SEE A HORSE, I’M— DING!

I love that Pippin talks to Shadowfax like you’d talk to another person—and even better, that Shadowfax seems to understand, and lets Beregond pet him.

Shadowfax can neigh loud enough to shake a stable. Noted.

“Then they took their leave, seeing that the manger was well filled. ‘And now for our manger,’ said Beregond.” DAD JOKE DAD JOKE DAD JOKE— DING!

The way Beregond vouches for Pippin to Targon the Food Guy is the funniest thing. “He has had sore labor this morning,” not “he was sitting and talking for an hour”. Love it. DING!

Beregond learns a lot about the Shire and Pippin’s adventures, and apologizes for assuming Pippin was just a kid that Denethor took on “as a whim”. But there are two factors here: 1) he apologized proactively, before Pippin even had any reason to feel offense, and 2) he treated Pippin so well that there was no need to feel offense in the first place. I imagine his thought process must have been, “The lord has taken on a page, and I’m supposed to teach him the passwords? Sure, I’ll take this as seriously as I take any other duty I’m given.” No talking down to Pippin, nothing to make him feel any less than welcome.

Why is this important? 1) Because anyone who is quick to apologize is a person of humility and integrity. DING!

2) Because it says good things about his personality that he’s willing to accept what seems like a ridiculous situation with good humor and complete sincerity. DING!

And 3) Because if that’s how he treats someone he thinks is a kid, that means he treats kids really, really well. DING!

“And there were always too few children in the city; but now there are none—save some young lads that will not depart, and may find some task to do: my own son is one of them.” And it was at this moment —at this exact moment—that everything made sense.

You wanna know why Beregond immediately knew to treat Pippin the way he did? ‘Cause it’s ingrained. Him’s a DadTM. He saw Pippin and the paternal instinct in him immediately went—

—and now, even despite knowing that Pippin is nearly full-grown, he can’t shake it. Mans is warm and nurturing and attentive and an excellent teacher because he’s had practice and I absolutely love him. DING!

Also ohhhh he has so much reason to be invested in how this battle turns out. He’s gotta make sure his kid has a future that isn’t in death or slavery to the Dark Lord. That’ll motivate ya.

“It is but the deep breath before the plunge.” Duuuude. That was Beregond’s line at first! I can definitely see why they gave it to Gandalf tho.

“It is over-late to send for aid when you are already besieged.” That’s…actually really good advice. Both militarily, and also in a lot of other circumstances. Cf. why I’m taking steps to avoid the clinical depression that runs in my family BEFORE it gets to the point that I need medication.

The way just witnessing a Black Rider immediately makes Beregond and Pippin become overwhelmed with despair until it leaves. That thing deals psychic damage just by existing.

And then, as soon as it’s gone, the mood passes, and both of them declare “nope, actually, I’m gonna hold on to hope, thanks”.

“‘Rightly said!’ cried Beregond, rising and striding to and fro. ‘Nay, though all things must come utterly to an end in time, Gondor shall not perish yet. Not though the walls be taken by a reckless foe that will build a hill of carrion before them. There are still other fastnesses, and secret ways of escape into the mountains. Hope and memory shall live still in some hidden valley where the grass is green.’” I just. I. Hjzzzg.

First of all, standing up and walking around to shake off the unwanted foul mood. I can see that in my mind, it’s so clear. Second, practical speech mixed with utter poetry. “Hope and memory shall live in some hidden valley where the grass is green”?? That’s just. Get out, that’s brilliantly evocative. And third: holding on to hope bare-knuckled, despite KNOWING the odds are stacked against you; despite realizing you might very well lose the fight, lose everything, even lose your life; despite having a family, and so much more reason to worry about what the world will look like on the other side of the storm; but stubbornly choosing to believe that light and song and goodness will endure, even if it’s after you’re gone. I just. I. HHHHNG. DING!

“I am no warrior at all and dislike the thought of any battle; but waiting on the edge of one that I can’t escape is the worst of all.” It’s interesting to see how much of this conversation was given to the conversation with Gandalf in the movies instead.

Beregond laughs again at the mere notion that he might be a captain. But he’s not the least bit bitter about his lower rank, and actually seems very proud of it. Humility and quiet confidence and still a good sense of humor. DING!

A rumor has already gone through the Citadel Guard that all the Riders of Rohan “each would bring behind him a halfling warrior, small maybe, but doughty”. They’re not right, and they’re not entirely wrong, because Merry, at least, is going to be riding behind Eowyn.

Pippin gets all the food and drink he wants and his only problem is keeping his mouth shut. Seems about right!

Aaaaand the final point in Beregond’s favor before we leave him for the day: Man loves his son. “But if you are lonely, as you say, maybe you would like a merry guide around the City. My son would go with you gladly. A good lad, I may say.” Can you imagine the twinkle in his eye when he says that?? Ugh, it’s too cute. DING!

I’m just imagining the thought process here. He’s getting to know Pippin and he’s like “Bergil would absolutely love this guy, he’s a hoot, he’d get a kick out of it”, and as soon as he knows Pippin pretty well he’s like “I’ll betcha he’ll like Bergil too, and I think he’d be a good influence”, and then he puts those two pieces together and sets up a playdate for his son and the hobbit he just adopted. Adorable.

People really do come out to stare at Pippin, don’t they?

Bergil is just. Written perfectly. His vernacular is much more polished than that of a kid nowadays, but the things he wants to talk about are EXACTLY what kids always want to talk about. “Hi! Who are you? How old are you? I’m ten, and almost five feet tall, and very grown up. Have I told you about my dad? He has the greatest job ever! Wow, you’re a grown-up already?? That’s so weird. Wanna wrestle?”

Also. One more point in Beregond’s favor. I love the fact that Bergil introduces himself with the name and occupation of his father. Is this likely a standard way to identify oneself in a culture without surnames? Yes, probably. Are kids usually proud of their parents’ occupations by default? Yes, if they’re allowed to keep that enthusiasm. Is it still very telling that Bergil draws himself up and puffs out his chest to proclaim whose son he is? Yes, yes it is. Beregond is a dad worth being proud of. DING!

I have nothing to say about the procession of reinforcements from the Outlands pouring into Minas Tirith, except that it’s a brilliant show of the diverse cultures Tolkien dreamt up for Gondor, and also FORLONG THE FAT

Also Beregond wants to hear all about his son when Pippin gets back. They’re so darn cute.

The lights are being dimmed in Minas Tirith. Somebody lived through the bomb raids in Britain….

“The Darkness has begun. There will be no dawn.” Dun dun dunn…

Final Dreamboat Points: 15

Results: Husbando

[garden-ghoul]

return of the blog, part.... uhhhh

“that’s right, I can’t even reliably count to three. or maybe I can and it’s four I can’t reliably count to?”

That aside, something horrible is about to happen.

THE SIEGE OF GONDOR

Gandalf wakes up Pippin at “the second hour,” which is either 2am or like 9am, depending on where they’re counting from. Pippin stares at his bread butter & milk breakfast miserably and says, “Why did you bring me here?” 

“You know quite well,” said Gandalf. “To keep you out of mischief; and if you do not like being here, you can remember that you brought it on yourself.”

Dude. He’s a teen and he was cursed. Give him a break.

He has to go see Denethor, who treats him rather rudely and then says he’ll be the lord’s esquire for today. Does he know any songs? Well, um, not many that are fitting here... Pippin does not want to sing comic songs or lewd songs to the Steward of Gondor. I just can’t get over this teen thing, he is like a college freshman who got out for the summer after a socially productive semester and now he works for the president. It’s fucking ridiculous. Well, he goes and gets some fancy livery so he’ll look regal enough for Denethor, and it only makes him gloomier. I love all the descriptions of Merry and Pippin being gloomy about being treated like ornaments.

Near sunset he’s finally released from his service (both boring and arduous, though I’ll wager he’s been doing a lot of good eavesdropping) and goes to hang out with Beregond and bemoan the fact that Faramir isn’t here. Oh! How convenient! There’s Faramir’s company right there (what’s left of it), being attacked by Nazgul! LUCKILY Gandalf, who vanished a while ago, seems to have foreseen this; he chases them away with light magic. Pippin runs to the gates to see Faramir coming home, and immediately gets a crush on him. He’s so noble! So tired! Yet so approachable!

Denethor does not really think so. He finds the smallest crack in Faramir’s demeanor as he’s making his report, and verbally eviscerates him in front of the guests. Y’know, for letting the Ring go into Mordor, and also for being alive even though Denethor is the one who told Boromir to go questing. Denethor and Gandalf yell at each other for a while, it’s rather frightening. As Pippin and Gandalf are leaving (Faramir has gone off to get some sleep, thank goodness!) Gandalf says he is filled with foreboding that Sam and Frodo are going via Cirith Ungol. How would YOU have gone, Gandalf? Through the front door? Secret tunnel?

The next morning everyone is gloomy again. They WERE excited about Faramir coming back--the text sort of implies that everyone in the city is a little in love with him--

But now Faramir was gone again. ‘They give him no rest,’ some murmured. ‘The Lord drives his son too hard, and now he must do the duty of two, for himself and for the one that will not return.’ And ever men looked northward, asking: ‘Where are the Riders of Rohan?’

Restless, restless, restless. Electric air. That Good Stuff. Faramir has been sent to Osgiliath to strengthen the garrison:

‘Then farewell!’ said Faramir. ‘But if I should return, think better of me!’

‘That depends on the manner of your return,’ said Denethor.

Ouch. Why do I get the feeling that Denethor will only think better of him if he returns in a coffin? As Faramir leaves, Gandalf tells him that his father loves him. Umm okay but how does that mitigate his awful treatment of Faramir. Doesn’t that make it worse? Right now I’m thinking about how Faramir is probably going to have to fight the Witch King since he’s leading the attack on Osgiliath, and thinking about how Eowyn is the one who kills him, and just being really excited for them to meet. Weary guy who hates to fight but must; frustrated enby who is chomping at the bit to murder some dudes. Honestly doesn’t that describe ALL the best Tolkien ships. Sometimes he does ladies right and it’s so #aesthetic. Wait I think the aesthetic I’m describing is just classic Jewish gender roles. Gentle studious men and women alight with the fire of direct action. I’m gay for both of these genders.

Anyway the next day the Black Host or whatever comes through the wall of the Pelennor Fields, despite the fact that Faramir is still doing his best to hold the rearguard off in Osgiliath. Including, yep, the Witch King. Actually they never refer to him as the Witch King in these books and I’m not sure where I heard it, but it’s an amazing title. Anyway mounted sorties start going out into Pelennor, with Gandalf at Prince Whoever of Amroth at their head. Denethor at least doesn’t let them overextend themselves; he calls them in very promptly so they won’t get trapped or too tired. I get the impression that for quick strikes they have the advantage because all of Sauron’s people are on foot. Oh, except a full third of them died anyway, because Sauron’s forces MASSIVELY outnumber them. Faramir has come back dead or wounded, and EVERYONE is crying. They bring him back to Denethor, who goes up into his tower and people see a strange flashing light and he comes down even more dead-looking than his dead son. I am beginning to suspect that the reason the text has alluded so many times to how far-sighted and well-informed Denethor is, is that he has a palantir. And this is some kind of secret, maybe?

The very last companies who can make it come back in through the gates, and they report that there is no way the Rohirrim can possibly make it in to help them now. The enemy is throwing fire over the walls. They’re throwing severed heads over the walls. Nazgul are circling. Denethor is weeping by Faramir’s body. Gandalf and the prince of Amroth have taken command of the city. There’s an aside here with Gondorians whispering about how elvish the people of Dol Amroth are--the people of Nimrodel. I’m glad there’s at least one version of the story where they found each other again and settled down, even if “the coast” probably wasn’t the land Nimrodel dreamed of that had never heard of war.

Hey, let’s check in on Denethor! Oh, uh, the palantir broke his will and he’s planning to set himself on fire in his despair. That’s cool I guess. Pippin goes to fetch Gandalf, as if he couldn’t possibly have anything more important to do than save one rude old man’s life. Or no, Pippin suspects he is going to kill Faramir as well. He passes Beregond and tells him to stop anything awful from happening.

OMG SORRY I FORGOT EVERYTHING I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO BECAUSE WE HAVE FINALLY CONFIRMED THAT THE BATTERING RAM GROND IS INDEED NAMED FOR MORGOTH’S HAMMER. I CAN STOP READING NOW THIS IS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW.

No no jk I will keep reading. I’m extremely pleased though. I have “Grond! Grond! Grond!” echoing in my head nonstop some days. Um anyway the Witch King is there, casting an evil spell to help Grond along, and on the third go it BURSTS the gates open!

‘You cannot enter here,’ said Gandalf, and the huge shadow halted. ‘Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!’

The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set.

Fuck yes.

Somewhere in the city, a cock crows, because having half of Gondor on fire in no way disrupted this chicken’s daily routine. Dawn. And with it, the horns of Rohan.

THE RIDE OF THE ROHIRRIM

The beginning of this chapter has a lot of fun sense description, since Merry is lying awake in complete darkness listening to the distant sounds of the Enemy’s hosts. Smelling the horses. All that. He thinks about how weird it is that everyone is just ignoring him because they know he’s not supposed to be here; Dernhelm seems to have some kind of “understanding” with Elfhelm, the marshal of their company. Sorry. Elfhelm? Elf? Helm? Is that a guy’s actual name? Elfhelm trips over Merry in the dark, and Merry asks What Is Up. As it turns out what is up is Woses, and what will soon be up is all the Rohirrim. I was gonna explain what Woses are but I think it’s way funnier if I don’t.

A Wose has come to offer help to Theoden, since he hates orcs as much as the next guy. Woses, he says, have “long ears and long eyes,” which isn’t especially relevant as far as I can tell but it’s delightful. The leader of the Woses, Ghan-buri-Ghan, knows a secret road! All he wants as a reward is... for the Rohirrim to stop hunting his people like beasts. What the fuck. I can’t believe Ghan-buri-Ghan actually prefers the Rohirrim to orcs. They go through the forest, and it takes all day, but the next morning before dawn they are ready to go do murders. Merry is upset again because he’s actually zero good at fighting and is just going to get himself and others killed.

The king sat upon Snowmane, motionless, gazing upon the agony of Minas Tirith, as if stricken suddenly by anguish, or by dread. He seemed to shrink down, cowed by age. Merry himself felt as if a great weight of horror and doubt had settled on him. His heart beat slowly. Time seemed poised in uncertainty. They were too late! Too late was worse than never! Perhaps Théoden would quail, bow his old head, turn, slink away to hide in the hills.

Then suddenly Merry felt it at last, beyond doubt: a change. Wind was in his face! Light was glimmering. Far, far away, in the South the clouds could be dimly seen as remote grey shapes, rolling up, drifting: morning lay beyond them.

Nice nice nice nice nice that’s some top notch metaphor. Tolkien is sooo good at environmental metaphors and foreshadowing. IDK there’s just something about the way the whole world seems to get in on the narrative, it’s really good. Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered; a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Theoden grabs a horn from someone and blows on it so hard it EXPLODES. AND THEY’RE OFF!! Join us next time for

THE BATTLE OF THE PELENNOR FIELDS