#if anything on me works right now it's my lungs & heart
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LADS Xavier: Stardust | SFW Angst
So anyway, did y'all see the um...story branch trailer for Xavier that was posted an hour ago? Well. Here we go. 1.2k with angst and comfort.
Pairings: Xavier x Reader Warnings: Angst but with Comfort Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for âLove and Deepspaceâ. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.
Blog Information | Masterlist
Xavier
âXavier,â your voice cracked as you saw him clutching his chest. He collapsed onto the ground as you rushed over to him, grabbing his hand, âXavier!â you said it more forcefully. How were you supposed to know this would happen? One moment, you were fighting wanderers, trying to find clues on a possible Aethercore, and the nextâŠhow did this happen? You donât even remember how you got here; the only thing on your mind is Xavier right now.
âI-Iâm,â his voice cracked, and it almost sounded like a death rattle as you heard the sharp intake of air. It was almost like his lungs refused to allow anything inside of them right now. YOu couldnât even register the wetness on your cheeks as you tried cupping his cheeks.
He was so pale, so cold. How did this happen? How did this happen to him? Your heart beat erratically as you looked at him, his eyes already glazed over. You could see the shine of whatever collar was around his neck. You know you had seen it before, and he never told you why it was there, but now it was so much clearer. Another shaky intake of air, this time almost wet like his lungs were filling up with water.
âWhat can I do?â you said, trying to help him. Why was he glowing now? His body seemed brighter, almost like the light of his evol. It was unnatural as you looked at him. His temperature hadnât changed; he was still cold as ice, and his skin was now clammy. âXavier, please tell me thereâs something I can do.â You cried out.
Then you saw it, the paleness of his face as he looked up at you; those brilliant blue eyes now lacked the normal luster they always held. They were almost hollowed, ghosts of their former self, and completely unfocused as he tried looking directly at you, âItâll be okay?â he said, âI promise, itâll all be alright.â He tried to assure you, but his voice was so quiet and almost distant. It was like he was speaking so far away, his words echoing through a tunnel, and you realized now that it was because there was too much blood rushing in your ears. You were panicking; you were losing him.
âPlease, Xavier, donâtâŠâ you said, choking out a sob, âYou canât leave me, not like this. Thereâs still so much we have to do.â You cried out, holding onto him for dear life. Even as you held him, though, you could feel it. His body slowly became nothing, turning into the brilliant light that was normally a comfort to you. Now, it was mocking your naivety, thinking that things could stay the same as they always had. Thinking that in this lifetime you could find happiness with him.
ThisâŠlifetime.
âI promise, just look into the sky,â Xavier said, and through tears, you tried looking up, but it was overcast, âMy light, I promise, itâll always shine on you. Guide you. Itâll never be far.â He said, letting out a small cough. Then he was gone, and in an instant, your entire world crumbled. Your nails dug into the ground as you wailed into the night sky; the only thing left of Xavier was a singular star-shaped charm that you so often saw on his light blade.
He was gone, and you feltâŠso hollow. It was nothing like when Granny died or Caleb died. It was like a part of your soul was ripped out of your chest, and you could only stare at the ground, sobbing and letting your tears wet the dirt underneath you.
Then, there was a startled gasp from your throat. Your eyes snapping open to reveal nothing but darkness around you. As your eyes adjusted and you came to, you felt something warm around you, the brush of something soft on your wet cheeks and a voice that was so familiar and grounding it made you sob again.
Your eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, and you could finally hear it, âItâs okay, shhhh itâs alright,â Xavierâs voice was trying to get you out of whatever nightmare you had been having. You turned in his arms and wrapped your own around his torso, pressing your face into his chest. You couldnât help the sobs that escaped you, little hiccups leaving your throat as you cried into his chest. His hands never left you, one of them playing with your hair, the other rubbing along your upper back.
His words were soothing, letting you know he was there, he was with you, heâd protect you. But you couldnât protect him. It sent you spiraling again as you hugged him closer, and you felt his lips on your forehead now, his hand rubbing away some of your tears as he forced you to look at him.
âHey, come on, look at my little star,â he murmured, his voice calm despite your hysterics. You could hear his breathing for once, forcing your own to even out with his own as you felt your heart slowing down a bit, your body no longer in a complete panic despite how your mind still told you that you let him die.
âXavier,â you finally said, your voice wrecked and broken as you cupped his cheek. It was warm under your palm, soothing; his skin wasnât clammy, and he felt alive. His blue eyes shined down on you, and you realized then that he had used his evol to make speckles of yellow light engulf the entire room, creating a starry night scene around you.
âYes, Iâm here, itâs okay.â He said, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles, âIâm not going anywhere, so you can breathe.â He was soothing you, and you were melting into him. It was a nightmare, a bad dream, but it had felt so goddamn real.
âYouâre really not going to leave meâŠâ you began, biting your lower lip as you tried not to cry again, âYou wonât turn to stardust, right? You wonât die on me, right? Youâre gonna stay right here by my side.â You could see the way his eyes widened at your statement before taking on a more solemn look.
âI have never, and will never have any intention of leaving you,â he finally said, âMy place is by your side, and Iâll do everything I can to remain by it, to make sure youâre okay.â He promised you, and you nodded.
âAnd what about you?â your voice sounded so tired, âYouâll make sure weâre both okay, right?â you asked, needing to hear it. Something flashed in his eyes as he took in a shaky breath, then he nodded.
âIâll do everything I can to make sure weâre both okay.â He settled on. He was sitting up now, dragging you with him as he pulled you onto his lap and pressed his forehead against your own, âIâd never want to see you sad.â
âThen you have to stay alive, no matter what.â You spoke, knowing what you wanted, âBecause without youâŠIâŠâ he could see the tears welling up in your eyes again.
âI know, shhh, I know.â He was rocking you in his arms, âIâll do my best not to die, okay?â they werenât the words you needed to hear, but it was a little nice to hear his honesty. At least heâd put in the effort to stay alive for you.
âOkay,â you finally said, the word was barely a murmur as you closed your eyes, âOkayâŠâ
#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace#Xavier Love and Deepspace#Lnds#Lnds Xavier#lnds x reader#x reader#reader insert#xavier x reader#l&ds#l&ds xavier#l&ds xavier x reader#lads x reader#lads xavier#lads xavier x reader
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I was doing great in PT, building strength and stamina, really optimistic. Then suddenly in July(?), could only do half what I had done the week before. Thought it was a bad day, but it was the beginning of a trend. Continued trying to find exercises I could physically do, to build stamina back, but eventually PT told me I needed answers before they could help me further.
It's been getting more difficult to use my arms, legs, and neck. It's exhausting and painful to walk, or anything which involves bearing weight, including my neck holding up my head! It's finally now where I am so weakened, I can take only several steps before I fall. I can't hold up my tablet, I can hold my phone up only briefly. I have the approximate hand coordination of a reacher grabber claw. After a few minutes upright I have to rest my head again.
I've been frantically trying to find ways to keep moving, keep exercising, keep going. Recumbent trike. Indoor mobility aids. Exercise bands I can use while lying down. As soon as I am recovered from the pain and exhaustion of the last time, get up and do something else. Go, go, GO. I am out, now, out of ideas, out of everything. I have to keep alternating which hand I use to TYPE on my tablet, resting the other after a sentence or so, taking frequent breaks. From TYPING.
If I try to walk it hurts like stinging nettles, fire, broken glass, under my skin. If I do it anyway, the feeling creeps up my legs. When I rest, it takes hours for the pain to creep back down my legs then go away.
My soonest appt with my doc (already scheduled) isn't for two more weeks. I am going down so rapidly. ER yesterday. Ruled out some things. It's not electrolytes, or vitamin/mineral deficiency, or obvious lung/heart/thoracic-or-lumbar-spine issue. I do not seem to be dying at this exact moment.
Also, probably unrelated, my liver has a crush on my right lung đ
đ€Łđ„Žđ€Ł (recommended followup with pulmonologist, but didn't think it was responsible for decline)
#medical mystery#the đ saga#maybe#if anything on me works right now it's my lungs & heart#so I don't know#I don't know#I don't know anything
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i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!
#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this#i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked#so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage#could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better#my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real#otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking#spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc#what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active#so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible#without spiking my hr to zone 4#so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything#i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards#outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is#i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me#based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not#some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works#but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again#because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now#i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog#but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less#i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis#so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important#this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty#shit talking
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adfjgbak;ngajkfglkafhg
#maisie and conan r both so funny silly goofy i love them smđ#me trying not to be parasocial but literally their little speeches and stuff in btwn songs were so funny lol#conan said a little thank you after every song it was so sweet i love him ;-; and maisie was honestly just so funny i love herrr#goddamn they both went so hard đđđđđđđ already post concert depresso fr#it was so so fun đđđđđđđ i got a bourgeoisieses shirt and it was way too expensive but i dont give a fuck i'm so excited to wear it#sang my little fucking heart out to both of their sets along w everyone else what a fucking vibe#especially everyone screaming along w conan#i want to do it again ;-; immediately ;-;;;;#god these two have th best bangers holy shit#lost the breakup was SO FUCKING FUN#top of my fucking lungs *OH SHIT!!!!!!!! YOU LOST THE BREAKUP!!!!!!!!!*#MANIAC WAS SOOOOO FUCKING FUNNNNNNNNN#god fucking dammit#i have to be productive and stuff tmrw and whatever but i don't want to do anything#rip i dont even have like concert vids to look at tho bc my stupid camera only works in .5 lens so i didn't bother LOL#we were already kinda far away / not super close so .5 made it tiny#but it was fun anyway <3333 i'm literally not gonna be listening to any other music for the next idk like next month#i need to go get ready for bed but i rly don't want to lol đ#i just want to live in today bc it's concert day đ„č even tho concert is over but if i go to sleep#i'll wake up and be even more removed fromconcert than right now not going to sleep đ„č LOL#wonder if my roommate can hear me typing on my laptop rn for this and is like wtf she doing#guys i fucking love music so much.#đ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„č#jeanne talks#i'm surprised by how much energy i had i was jumping up and down sm lol#the songs were too fun to jump to i couldn't help it đ„čđ„č#A;JSHGAIFGALJGJLRJNGAKLJFDBJDJLKDNFREGLRGJAF;#conan and maisie i miss u already ;-;#ALSO SINGING ALONG SO LOUD IN THE CAR BEFORE AND AFTER W MY FRIEND WAS SO SO FUN đ„čđ„čđ„č#y canât that just be my entire life . why canât concerts be a thousand million times easier to go to
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Birdritch what? Part 7
masterpost
It was warm.
That was the first thing that Danny noticed as he started to wake.
Danny didnât sleep warm. Too often if it was too warm, Danny would wake up and have to push aside layers of bedding or shed clothing. Cooling sheets, heat wicking pillow, and light pajamas was the way for Danny to sleep best. He felt oddly rested despite the heat.
It was also heavy.
That was the second thing that Danny noticed.
Maybe he fell asleep with the weighted blanket on the couch?
Except that didnât feel right.
His couch wasnât that firm. His couch didnât snore and his weighted blanket didnât have arms. Yeah, okay, yep. Someone definitely had their arms wrapped around Danny, tucking him close to their very well defined chest and under their chin. Someone else, a much smaller someone, was tucked close to Dannyâs elbow and breathing softly.
What the fuck did he get up to last night?
And why couldnât he remember any of it?
Someone else mumbled something sleepily. That was three at least, four counting him. Maybe five with the soft, breathy snore? Danny stayed as still as possible and tried to mentally retrace his steps.
He had been at work. Right, Lucius had sent him home since it had gotten late. Danny had gotten food and headed home. He must have gone through Ivyâs park, it would have been the closest wayâŠ
âŠand thatâs all.
He couldnât remember anything after that.
There were flashes of fear and burning lungs and that deep-seated need protect, but over all of that there was a sense of belonging. No, belonging was quite the right word. It was less that he had belonged but more like he had found the missing pieces that had belonged to him.
As much as the snatches of feelings were coated with good, Danny couldnât help the panic that settled in his chest. He didnât remember. He should remember, being what he was. Why didnât he remember? Why hadnât he just gone ghost? Why did his bones ache like he had gone ghost? If he had he should remember.
Fuck, what sort of rogue shit had he gotten dosed with in the park?
The hand on his chest pressed down purposefully.
âBreathe.â The voice was low and rough, heavily with sleep over a deep gravely timber.
Danny wanted to say that he was trying to breathe, thank you very much whoever the fuck you are, but all that came out was a little wheeze of air.
âOkay. Hereâs my other hand. One squeeze for yes, two for no.â
A large, calloused hand slipped into Dannyâs, twining with his own scarred and bandaged fingers. Danny gave the hand a squeeze.
âHas this happened to you before?â
One squeeze.
âOften?â
Two.
âIs this an allergic response?â
Two quick squeezes.
âAsthma?â
Danny hesitated before giving three squeezes. He could hear other people starting to stir now, but kept his eyes stubbornly closed. He wasnât ready to actually deal with the people he had fallen asleep with. Besides, it was hard to hear over the beat of his own heart.
ââŠNo, or more, not yet?â
One firm squeeze.
âPanic or anxiety attack then?â
One hesitant, embarrassed squeeze.
âAlright. I am going to sit us up. Lean back against me and follow my breathing.â
Danny tried not to whimper as he was shifted. He failed.
âIâll get a damp towel,â another voice offered quietly.
Fuck towels, Danny wanted his pain meds. He must have not taken them last night and now everything was stiff and tight. Forget breathing, Danny just wanted to stay curled up in the blanket and not move. Maybe everyone else would leave wherever they were and Danny could just go ghost and slip out of there without dealing with any of this.
âRelax,â the low voice rumbled.
Danny would have cussed them out if he had the voice to.
The board chest that Danny was resting against took an exaggerated breath. Danny struggled to try and follow it. It didnât seem like he was getting out of breathing, damn it. An ice cold cloth suddenly pressed against his neck, startling Danny enough to suck in a breath of air.
âThere, keep that up,â the main voice instructed.
Danny pinched the fingers still closed gently around his in retaliation.
Someone else, more feminine sounding, laughed while the person behind him let out a slightly amused huff. âI know you know. Now your body just needs to know.â
Danny pinched them again, though to their credit they didnât pull away their hand. Which was⊠sorta nice. As much as Danny was sulking about it all, the comfort of a hand in his was nice. The calloused thumb rubbed gently over that web of skin between Dannyâs thumb and pointer fingers in a pattern that Danny worked to match his breath to. Finally Danny figured he needed to brave opening his eyes.
He wasnât in a hotel.
Or an apartment.
Or any sort of room.
No, he was in a cave. As suspiciously well furnished cave completely with a grouping of vigilantes watching him curiously.
âWell, at least it wasnât an orgy,â Danny grumbled.
He heard someone trip further into the cave.
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hiiiii :3 idk if ur taking reqs for dc right neow but a thought that tickles my brain rlly good is dick grayson/reader w a praise kink and dick exploits it n uses it to his advantage.... preferably afab reader but gn is fine :P
CTRL + H - Dick Grayson
Pairing: Dick Grayson x fem! best friend! reader (uses fem pronouns + has a pussy)
Genre: smut/NSFW
Word Count: 4.1k
Summary: when your best friend discovers porn in your browser history while fixing your computer, he decides to use it to his advantage
CW: friends to lovers, lots of praise, uses of âgood/pretty/lovely girlâ dick calls you sweetheart/angel, dick is CORNY Iâm sorry, mentions of porn/asmr porn, teasing, gaslighting (but not really), fingering, marking, unprotected sex, lots of sweat (its sexy i swear), dick fucks you over a desk, kinda rough sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, implied to be summer, i think thats it??
hey hi đœ anon, thanks for the request! im sorry it took so long, it wasn't meant to be this long i swear, i just got caught up in the thought of Dick being all hot and sweaty and praising you while fucking you >~< and yeah this happened. really hope you like it (but if you don't, let me know and ill totally rewrite it!) lots of love yes i took an extra 30 mins to find nightwing #83 to take a picture of the comic book to make this banner lol
As if having Dick Grayson look at your search history wasnât bad enough, now you have to live with the mortifying ordeal of him knowing you have a praise kink. Â
When you had first invited him over to take a look at your malfunctioning computer, youâd thought nothing of it. You figured he would turn it on and off again, maybe update some drivers. So when he suddenly clicked into your browser and began scrolling through the long, long list of websites youâve visited, you werenât sure how to react.Â
You noticed it at the same time as him, the glowing screen forcing you to freeze where you stand. There on the screen, from just last night, read: praise nsfw asmr. You swallow hard and lunge for the mouse to click out of your browser history, but breathe a sigh of relief when Dick does it first.Â
Thereâs a beat of silence, your racing thoughts deafeningly loud as you try to come up with a reason to kick him out. Fanning your face as if that will help chase away the heat of the day, you swallow once more in an attempt to work some moisture back into your mouth.Â
âFâfind anything?â You say as casually as you can.Â
Itâs ridiculous how embarrassed you are, honestly. Heâs just your friend, itâs just porn, itâs not like itâs the end of the world. Still, the rattling of your heart against your rib cage and his cruelly quiet silence make it feel like it is.Â
He shakes his head. âNot so far, I should keep looking butââ he flicks his eyes up your body, perfect blues tracing your every curve, âyou seemed flustered.â
You raise your hands in denial all too quickly, your sweaty palms stretched out towards him. Dick raises an eyebrow, examining you in the way he does with strangers in coffee shops.Â
âI justâŠdonât see how my search history is relevant, I guess. Thatâs all.â
He grabs your wrists, lowering your arms from the defensive position theyâve taken. Despite the familiarity of his touch, something feels off, different in a way you canât explain. You shake the thought away.Â
The world has not shifted on its axis because your best friend suddenly knows what kind of porn youâre into.Â
His touch lingers on your wrist and he uses the leverage to gently pull you closer to where he sits at your desk. When he finally drops your wrist, a chill circles the space where his hand once was, refreshing your feverish skin.
âI just want to make sure you havenât accidentally picked up a virus somewhere. If we can find one in your history, itâll be much easier to get rid of it.â
The explanation only half seeps into the mush your brain has turned into under his gaze and you find yourself nodding without quite understanding.Â
You were fooling yourself by inviting him here. While asking for his help was cheaper than hiring a professional, having him so close to you almost hurtsâespecially when lately youâve been trying to force away the feelings youâve harboured for him.Â
âSo,â Dick says again, âwonât you be a good girl and let me fix your computer for you?â
His words force you out of your thoughts, purely by short circuiting your brain. You blink at him with wide eyes, your heart pounding in your chest.Â
âWâwhat did you say?â
âI just asked if I could fix your computer now.âÂ
You tilt your head in confusion. Did you mishear him, or did he call you âgood girlâ? He flashes you that signature smirk of his, his blue eyes suddenly dark with something you donât recognize.Â
Though everything on his face reads innocent, something not-so innocent lurks beneath the surface. Something that stares you down and screams âchallenge meâ.Â
âYeah.â You swallow. âI guess thatâs fine.â You take a deep breath and try to steady the spinning in your head.Â
Dick continues his work nonchalantly, hitting a few keys and opening your browser history once more. You turn your eyes away from the screen, instead focusing on the way your fingers grasp the desk until it hurts.Â
You listen to him scroll for a while and try to pretend like heâs not looking through the most intimate part of your life. The idea of him seeing that part of you excites you as much as it nauseates youâa lethal combination.Â
âYou can relax.â Dick hums.Â
You lift your head to look at him just to see him focused completely on the screen. You donât dare glance at what heâs so focused on.Â
âWhy not sit down? This could take a while.â He says calmly. âIâm sure youâll feel much better if you do.âÂ
You roll your shoulders. âI think Iâll just stand.â
Thereâs a shift in his eyes as if your words sparked something in them. He finally glances away from your screen, completely focusing on you with a newfound intensity. You want to shrink from his gaze, to run down the hall and hide in your broom closet, but you stay rooted in place.Â
âIt would help me a lot if you sit down. Donât you want to be a good girl and help me out?âÂ
Holy fuck. âWhat did you just say?â
It feels like youâre waiting an eternity for him to speak again, your heart beating a mile a minute. Heâs going to deny it, or make fun of you even more or worseâtell Wally about it.Â
He pats his lap. âCome sit with me,â he purrs, âbe a good girl, keep me company while I work.â
In your shock, you find yourself shuffling towards him and settling in his lap. Dick helps you adjust, tugging you back to his chest and keeping one arm around you while his other reaches for the mouse once more.Â
Heâs so close to you that you can feel the beating of his heart, his breath on your neck. You close your eyes and pray that he canât feel the heartbeat thatâs suddenly appeared between your legs.
You canât remember a single time heâs been this close to you, a single time heâs touched you like this. The sudden proximity makes you dizzy, butterflies taking flight in your tummy. You clench the arm rests on either side in an attempt to keep your cool.
Dick shifts behind you, one of his thighs gently brushing your clit in a way that makes you squirm. âDonât do that!âÂ
His hand slides from your waist to grip your thigh, a shiver running up your spine at the contact. âDon't do what? This?â He repeats the motion.
You squeak, lurching forward in an attempt to get away from the friction. You tilt too far and suddenly youâre falling head over heels towards the mat beneath your chair. Dick is quicker than that, wrapping one arm around your chest and another around your waist to tug you harshly back to him.
âDonât do that,â you repeat breathlessly, âplease.â
He rests his chin on your shoulder, soft strands of black hair tickling your cheek. âWhy not? Use your words, angel.â
The nickname reignites something inside of you, rekindling a fire between your legs. You clench them together in the hopes it will do something to muffle the throbbing, but when you feel Dick smirk against the side of your neck, you know youâve failed.
When you donât answer him, he grins his knee between your legs once more, an innocent hum prompting you.
âYouâreâfuck, youâre kneeing me in the cunt.â
Dickâs not sure if itâs from your brazen words or how entirely ridiculous this whole afternoon has been, but suddenly heâs laughing. A big, open mouthed, creasing at the corners of his eyes, laugh.Â
His laugh surprises you enough to summon one of your own, sending you both into a fit. You shift on his lap to look at him, wrapping your arms around his neck to support yourself while the two of you laugh. Itâs stupid and ridiculous and youâre not quite sure what youâre laughing atâjust that you are.Â
Youâre laughing and laughing and suddenly his lips are on yours and his eyes are closed andâfuck, heâs kissing you. And then youâre not laughing anymore, your hands brushing up his neck and tangling in his hair. Heâs not laughing anymore either, his hands gripping your waist like he expects you to leave at any moment.
Youâre breathless when you pull away, refusing to open your eyes and face the reality in front of you. Because maybe the world didnât shift on its axis when he learned your porn preferences, but it definitely has because he just kissed you.
He taps your cheek gently, using that terribly calm voice he does whenever you start spiralling. âY/n.â He coos, âopen your eyes, y/n.â
You bite your lip, shaking your head in refusal. You know as soon as you do, youâll have to confront your feelings for him, and his for you, and all of that is just too much and god, when did it get so hot in here?Â
You open your eyes one at a time, casting them down to where your thighs rest on his. Your hands come together, fingers twirling in your lap just to give you something to focus on other than the throbbing in your clit and the weight of Dickâs eyes on you.
He drags a finger down your overheating cheeks, tracing the outline of your jaw and tipping your head up to face him. His blue eyes are lined with something new, something darkerâa need youâve never seen before.Â
âLook at me.â Thereâs a commanding tone to his voice before it softens, âcâmon, please?â
You finally force yourself to meet his eyes, the familiar ultramarine calming the sudden bite of your nerves. âOnly cause you asked so nicely,â you say quietly.Â
âGood girl,â he smiles and it feels like the sun pushing through rain clouds. He strokes your cheek gently, his thumb landing on your cupid's bow.Â
You shiver beneath his touch despite the unbearable heat of the day. While his finger on your lips threatens to send you flying away, spiralling into space, his other does the opposite. His grip on your hip is tight, fingers digging in and sure to leave behind bruises.Â
âCan I kiss you again?â He asks quietly.Â
Itâs only a small mercy that your nod doesnât prompt another âgood girlâ from him, or some other horribly delightful variation of it. However, when his lips brush yours and his hand slides to the base of your throat, all of the thoughts melt away. Thereâs no embarrassment, no overthinking, just raw emotion and the sensation of his skin on yours.Â
You shift in his lap, sliding one of your thighs over his so you can straddle him. Dick offers a guiding hand while you slide forward, half steadying you, half tugging you closer. You shimmy up the length of his jeans until youâre as close as possible, your stomach pressing into his toned abs.Â
A gasp leaves your throat when your clit brushes the very edge of the bulge in his jeans, the noise only edging him along. His teeth graze your bottom lip, both gentle and desperate, before his tongue slips into your mouth.Â
The taste of him is intoxicating, consuming you until youâre grabbing his cheeks with both hands to pull him as close as possible. You whine when his cock grazes your clit again and Dick breaks the kiss to let out a breathy laugh against your lips.Â
âSomeoneâs needy,â he teases, but his eyes are rimmed with dark and when he looks at you through his lashes, all you see is need.Â
âBack at you.â
His palm sticks to your cheek with sweat when he goes to pull it away. âYouâve been so good for me today,â he hums, his other hand trailing up your thigh. âLet me take care of you, yeah?â
You mumble a breathy âpleaseâ before his fingers are brushing your clit through your pants, the heat pooling in your panties near insatiable. You tighten your grip on him and bury your face in the tight black fabric of his t-shirt to muffle your heavy breathing.
While one hand rubs intense figure eights up the length of your pussy, his other hand is fiddling with the buttons of your pants. He sighs in triumph at the soft popping noise and then the fabric is pulling away from your skin, Dick somehow managing to tug them down with only one hand.Â
You shift in his lap and prop yourself up on your knees to give him better access while he drags the fabric down your thighs. He takes advantage of your position to spin you to face your monitor once more, leaning back in the chair so youâre reclined against his muscled chest.
Warm breath fans the overheating skin of your neck just where your shirt meets your skin. Two calloused fingers dip into the waistband of your underwear, skimming the warmth and slick of your cunt. Dick sucks in a breath, his pants suddenly too tight.
âYou really are needy,â he swallows hard. âLovely, needy girl.â
His words only serve as a catalyst to the intense need you feel in your core, amplifying your desire tenfold. The pad of his index finger brushes your clit and youâre suddenly a goner. Your eyes squeeze shut and you throw your head back, imagining the circles of Dickâs fingers in your mind.
He gently kisses at the neckline of your shirt, his lips soft against the sensitive skin. His tongue runs across the sensitive skin there in tandem with the moving of his hand, the duality sending shockwaves through you. You have to bite your lip to keep from crying out his name.
His wrist slides further into your underwear, fingers moving away from your swollen clit to run along the rim of your aching pussy. You suck in a breath, not moving an inch while you anticipate whatâs to come.
Dick sucks a dark mark into your neck. âReady fâme?â He mumbles into your skin.
You eagerly nod, trying to shift your hips into his fingers and shove them inside of you, but Dick moves away. You frown, lazily looking over your shoulder at him.
âYou have to use your words.â
You almost roll your eyes but in your desperation, let your head hang in defeat and open your trembling mouth. âI-Iâm ready Dick,â you say, quietly adding, âplease.â
âGood girl.âÂ
Then heâs suddenly slipping a finger inside of you, travelling the length of your spongy walls to sit deep inside of you. A gasp rips through you, his name tumbling off your lips faster than you can catch it. He grips your hip to steady you, strong fingers bruising the exposed skin.
He curls his finger inside of you, prodding at that sweet fucking sensitive spot. He only stops when you whine, slipping his finger out for only a second before shoving it back in. He repeats the motion, starting a rhythm of thrusting in and out, his hand on your hip tapping along in tandem.
You squirm in his lap, that ball in the centre of your stomach turning white hot and growing until you can barely contain it. One of your hands squeezes his wristâwhether to stop or encourage him, you donât know.
âDick,â you whine, your voice taking on a raspy tone you hardly recognize.
He hums in response. âDoes that feel good?â
âS-so good.â
He rewards you by slipping his other finger inside of you, the two of them working in unison. His fingers are so long and thick that they reach places inside you that youâve never been able to touch on your own, stretching your walls just enough to make your eyes roll back.
The impending waves of your orgasm roll over you, that knot in your core so tight that you know it's bound to undo any second. You squeeze his wrist tighter in warning, your fingers pressing into his veins until you can feel the steady thrum of his blood pulsing.Â
Dick slips his hand from your waist up your shirt, palming your tit. âCum for me,â he murmurs. âYouâve earned it, sweetheart.â
His words walk you right over the edge, that knot finally coming undone and sending wave after wave of molten pleasure through you. Every muscle in your body contracts, your pussy squeezing his fingers so tightly it almost hurts. Both your hands clench around the wrist currently in your underwear. Holding him steady while you ride out your high on his fingers.
Dick holds you, keeping you stable while you gush and thrash wildly in his lap. He can feel your slick soak through the fabric of his jeans, his thighs warm with your juices, but he canât bring himself to care.Â
He trails kisses up your neck to your jaw, your cheeks and finally, tips your head back until he can plant soft, chaste kisses to your lips. His wrist aches from how hard you squeeze him but he doesnât dare pull away until your muscles are relaxing and you let out your first, panting breath.
âFeel good?â He prompts.
You shake your head vigorously, all sweaty hair and hot skin and aching lungs. Dick almost wishes he had a camera because the sight of you laying in his lap all fucked out is one he would love to savor and put in his wallet.
He shifts behind you, only now remembering his aching cock and how badly it yearns to be free of the denim confining it. âThink you could do one more? For me? It would make me feel so, so good, sweetheart.â
You donât think twice about his words, lazily trapping his lips in a sloppy needy kiss and mumbling âyesâ against him. In your fucked out state, youâre only half sure that youâre even speaking, the world around you fading. Dick slips his hand out of your panties, his palm soaked with your juices, and rests it on your thigh.Â
âI need you to stand up for me,â he says, only half asking.Â
He helps you up on shaky knees, your pants that had been resting just above your knees dropping the rest of the way to the floor. You brace yourself against the desk, half bent over while Dick slowly tugs down your panties. The minute the sticky, soaked fabric peels away from your pussy, you gasp.
Dick stares at the mess heâs made of you proudly, your folds glistening with the slick of your last orgasm. He burns the image into his mind while he fumbles with the zipper of his jeans, standing behind you while he drags them to the floor with his boxers. His cock springs free, thick and dripping with pre cum, begging for you.
He strokes it absentmindedly, all of his thoughts only on you and your trembling thighs, bent so perfectly over the desk waiting for him. He lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, rubbing it through your folds and prodding your clit before repeating the process over again.
Each shift of his cock, each rock of his hips, forces shivers of anticipation down your spine. Heavy breaths leave your lips, your arms barely managing to hold your weight over the desk when you dip your head down to stare at him through the crook of your arm.
âSuch a pretty pussy. So wet and needy,â he groans when he finally lets his cock rest at your entrance. âSo ready for my cock.â
You nod even though heâs mostly talking to himself. You let your arms sag against the desk and rest your face against your forearm, the sweaty skin sticking to your forehead. Dick thrusts forwards and lets the head of his cock push inside of you.
Moans leave him the second he dips into your heat, the tip of his cock stretching you in a way that has both of your eyes rolling back. His fingers resume their earlier position on your hip, digging in so hard it almost hurts.Â
He stills once his tip is nestled in your walls, listening to the whiny breaths you let out while you adjust to his size. Your clench your hands into fists, slightly shifting from left to right to help him fit better. Heâs big, bigger than you expected, but the way he molds your walls to his cock is almost enough to have you cum right then and there.
Dick is so distracted by the sight of his cock dipped inside of you that he doesnât remember to move. Itâs only when you let out a needy whine and shuffle your hips backwards that he realizes youâve been waiting so patiently for him.
He snaps his hips against yours, the head of his cock barreling so deep inside of you so quickly that it almost hurts. âSorry, pretty girl,â he pants, âdidnât mean to make you wait.â
You try to tell him that itâs okay but youâre silenced with another hard thrust. You cry out his name into your arm, your teeth grazing at your skin in your attempt to be quiet. Dick grabs the other side of your waist, using his hands to push and pull you as he pleases.
You fall further against the desk, your body lazily resting against it while Dickâs hips snap into yours repeatedly. The room is filled with the sound of skin on skin, a chorus of your combined moans filling the empty space between thrusts. Each shift of his hips, each prod of his cock, only spurs you further along.
You squeeze your eyes shut, completely focused on his cock battering its way through your walls. Youâre only vaguely aware of Dick talking to you, his praise sounding incoherent beneath the rush of blood to your ears. Your pussy flutters around him, his cock scraping your cervix with every thrust.
He thrusts particularly hard into you, his cock jamming hard into the very edge of your walls, forcing a loud cry from you. It aches as much as it pleases, and without thinking, youâre suddenly crawling forward across your desk. Dick tightens his grip on you before you can get very far, tugging you back hard against him and slamming your pussy down on his cock.
You nearly squeal from the pleasure, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. That familiar heat builds inside of you once more, spilling over more and more with each intense thrust.
âYouâre taking me so well,â he coos. âSo tightâgod, itâs like your pussy was made for me. Fuck.â
His lewd words add to that growing knot inside of you and suddenly youâre coming undone in his arms. Everything is too hot, too much, too loud. Tears spill from your eyes and youâre barely aware of the half sobs, half moans you let out through your orgasm.
âThatâs right, let it all out. Good girl, cumming around my cock like that.â
Dick holds you steady the whole time you cum, thrusts growing sloppy as your pussy sucks him in and tries to keep him inside of you forever. Heâs almost as breathless as you while he watches you cum and the way your pussy seizes around him is enough to have him tumbling over the edge after you.
He wraps both arms around your waist, pulling your hips flush to his, before he lets the both of you fall back into the chair behind him. Your new position forces his cock deeper inside of youâas deep as it can goâand then heâs cumming inside of you.
You can barely feel the hot ropes of cum he spills inside of you while you come down from your own high. Your thighs shake where they rest over his and youâre grateful for him holding you.Â
Dick lets his forehead rest in the crook of your neck, his sweaty hair wetting your t-shirt. Even after heâs done cumming, he holds you tightly against him, the two of you panting in sync.
Itâs nearly five minutes later when you can finally bring yourself to speak, your hoarse voice evidence of the pounding youâve just taken. âI take it you saw my browsing history?â are the first words out of your mouth.
Dick laughs, his voice gravelly and deep and sexy. âYeah,â he says, kissing your cheek. âI did.â
You awkwardly turn in his lap, twitching at the way it adjusts his half-hard cock inside of you. You look up at his eyes, the blue finally starting to seep back in through the dark. He cups your face, his hand sweaty, and pulls you in for another kiss.
When you pull away, you canât help but ask, âso, what now?â
âFirst, I think I should show you how to use Incognito Mode.â
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virgin sacrifice
a/n:Â you guys? hail satan.
summary:Â you didnât think in your wildest dreams that Captain and Tennilleâs best hits would be blasting over the campâs speakers while you were running for your life from two nut job serial killers, ones who had already slain what looked like most of the other campers.
warnings:Â dark!steve harrington x reader x dark!eddie munson, dark content, noncon/dubcon, smut, summer camp au (they are all camp counsellors), slasher au, virgin!reader, very innocent!reader, final girl!reader, established relationship, violence, murder, weapons, blood, devil worship, predator/prey, bondage, knife kink, dirty talk, pussy inspection, oral, fingering, anal
word count: 1389
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It was the summer of 1986, right before you were supposed to go off to college and start your real life. It was also the summer when you worked as a counsellor at Camp Nebula, the very summer you fell in love for the first time. The summer when the most popular guy for some reason took notice of you and started calling you his girl.Â
Now, he was a tad bit more experienced than you and wasnât shy to show you in ways that you always snuffed out before they could grow into anything uncouth. Thatâs not how youâd been raised, to lose your virginity in a summer campâs tool shed, however gobsmacked he made you feel, you just couldnât take that step.Â
No one had ever looked at you the way that he did, truly listened to you when you spoke, and even stood up for you, like whenever the campâs freak would say things to you vulgar enough to render you speechless, your knight in shining armour would step in and save the day.Â
It was the perfect summer.Â
Was.Â
Completely perfect right up till the murders began to happen.Â
You didnât think in your wildest dreams that Captain and Tennilleâs best hits would be blasting over the campâs speakers while you were running for your life from two nut job serial killers, ones who had already slain what looked like most of the other campers.
Lungs burning, you sprinted through the dark camp, a flicking lamppost above illuminating the path you raced down, the ground littered with sharp pine needles.Â
When you made your way to the dining hall, the rotary phone inside, your plan of salvation, turned out to be just as dead as the summer friendships youâd thought would last a lifetime.Â
âThereâs nowhere left for you to run, little lamb!â the petrifying roar from just outside the hallâs walls caused you to jump and scurry into the kitchen, though when you did, your gaze should have been directed in front of you and not over your shoulder as you swiftly crashed into a figure.Â
A blank mask stared down at you, one of the ones that the kids used for crafts, usually decorating them with an explosion of paint and beads.Â
Chuckling softly at the way you stumbled back, he playfully uttered, âboo!â raising his hands up to scare you, retroactively flashing you the blade fast in his grip. Half-obscured eyes stilled glued to you, the killer shouted over his shoulder, âfound her!â and held the weapon outstretched to keep you where you were.Â
âOh, good,â another masked murderer appeared as the back door was swung open, âwell then letâs get this show on the road!â
âPlease donât kill me!â you cried as the one keeping you cornered grabbed you.Â
âKill you?â one of them laughed, âoh honey, weâre gonna do so much more than just kill you,â before he got out a bundle of rope and gestured to his partner, âget her up on the table.âÂ
Once theyâd forced you down upon the cold steel surface and tied you up, they proceeded to reveal something to you that nearly caused your thumping heart to stop.Â
ââŠSteve?â you scarcely breathed as one of them plucked off his mask and tossed it onto a counter.Â
âSurprise,â your summer sweetheart flashed you a smile.Â
âButâ⊠Iâve been looking for you everywhere all night, youââŠÂ you did this?â
âWell, donât give him all the credit,â the other one peeled off his mask as well.Â
âEddie?â you shuttered, âb-but you two hate each other.â
âThatâs what we had to make you think so that no one would suspect a thing,â the long-haired rebel wiped some of the bloodstains on his blade clean on the hip of his jeans, âno one would ruin our plan.âÂ
âY-your plan?â
âMight as well tell her,â Eddie nudged his partner who shifted his grip on the axe heavy in his grasp, âsince she has such a big part to play in it.â
âOh, what the hell, why not,â Steve grinned and pulled over a rickety stool, âyou see, there are things, wishes, that both me and Eddie have,â the man you thought youâd loved began to explain, âambitions that, try as we might, we canât achieve on our own. So, Eddie here found this old book, this tome, that explained a ritual that could grant us our deepest desires...â he uttered dreamily, âit was really quite simple when it came down to it⊠first 40 lives and then you.â
ââŠme?â your voice trembled, âwhy me? Iâm not anyone special, I'm justââ
âOh no, Y/n, you sweet, sweet dumb girl,â Steve chuckled darkly, âyou are the final piece to the puzzle,â he stared directly into your soul, âour perfect little virgin sacrifice.âÂ
Taking a step closer to your strapped-down form, Eddieâs stare danced down your frame, scrapes and dirt still tainting the uniform youâd freshly washed just this morning.Â
âBut you know, the funny thing is, our lord and saviour down in hell has a funny and pretty ancient definition of what a virgin is,â he teasingly ran the flat side of his blade up the length of your leg, smiling as you squirmed, âsure, some things are off limits, but not a lotâŠ,â the tip of his knife dipped under your shorts and sliced them in two. With the configuration that they had bound you in, everything was already embarrassingly on show, though even more so now that all of your clothes were cut off your frame. Completely mesmerised as the last shred left your form, Eddie uttered softly, âoh, this is gonna be so much fun.â
âWhat are you doing?â you struggled against the robes as Steve rose from his seat.Â
âItâs a real shame, baby,â his broad hands ran up your inner thigh, âI really did wanna pop your cherry myself, fuck I would have loved that, but I donât deserve it as much as he does,â his thumbs, creeping up to either side of your core, extended out to wickedly spread you apart, âSatan may get to have your pussy,â you shuttered at the mortifyingly soppy sound that emanated as he briefly ran a finger though your folds, âbut this little hole isnât off limits,â his digit then swept down to draw a feathery circle over your rosebud.Â
âNor this one,â Eddieâs hand found your cheeks in a pinch and forced your lips to pucker, âbut we might have to do a bit of convincing in order to be able to play up here,â your body stiffened up as the cold edge of his blade then pressed against your throat, âno teeth, or else we wonât make you feel good, wonât give you a little treat before you help us contact the man downstairs.âÂ
âHow in the fuck do you think Iâll like any of this?â you spat back at him.Â
âUh!â they both laughed and shared a glance before Eddie noted, âI think that might have been the first time Iâve ever heard little miss goody two shoes swear! Thatâs so cute!â Â
âFuck you,â you wept, âyou psychoâ, oh!â a moan then ripped through your body and surprised you to the very core.
Glancing down between your legs, you saw that Steve was kissing you down there, his lips latched on to the little pearl that always seemed to throb in his presence.Â
âWhat was that about you not enjoying this?â his sloppy peck detached in an obscene pop, âbecause you sure are soaked for someone who doesnât think it feels good to be played with⊠weâre gonna make you feel good, so good, your virgin ass couldnât even fucking dream about itâŠâ the sensation of Eddieâs palm snaked down to squeeze your tit, while Steve brought his broad thumb up to bully your glistening clit, grinning at how your untouched hole clenched around nothing for him, âjust look at how fucking messy you are for us⊠fucking leaking all over the placeâŠâ a groan then escaped him as one of his digits dipped down to slowly sink into your tight ass, simply testing the waters before the pair of them utterly obliterated you, âfuck⊠you almost make me wanna keep you forever and just find a different virgin to take your placeâŠâ
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Fragments of Starlight
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: With the impending war, Y/N is captured by Hybern's general. As they struggle to protect those they care about, they reflect on their unrequited feelings for Azriel and their insecurities within the Night Court.
Word Count: 4,585
Warnings: ANGST, violence, torture, dark themes
A/N: This is my first time ever writing anything like this. I am a true sucker for angst. This is meant to go along with some of the events of ACOWAR, but of course, itâs different. Please donât come at me for not following itâs exact story line. ALSO, I know that Azriel or Feyre would NEVER, but itâs just for the heartache okay!!
Part 2, Part 3
------
Now
All of it, it was all going to shit. I donât know how my ears werenât bleeding at the sheer amount of noise coming from the chaos around me. So much screaming, but was it Hybernâs forces, or our own? Everything was ringing, my head throbbing along with it. It was almost as if my breaths were not reaching my lungs. I was on the ground, all fours underneath me as I tried and tried to get myself to my feet. Everything was sore, it was like my muscles were not working. I stretched for the source of the aching on my temple and what I found was the warm, wet consistency of fresh blood.
My family, where is my family? Panic drenched me like a bucket of ice water.
With a groan, I grabbed my sword that lay beside me and turned to face the sky, now sitting at least. The sky, it was so blue. It almost felt like a disgusting joke to see something so beautiful, as dead bodies lay at my feet. Hybernâs forces were surrounding me, there was no escaping this.
I grit my teeth as I stand, my blade in hand. Dizziness rolls off me in waves, so much so that nausea is found coursing through my veins. I donât get very far up before Iâm slammed back down to the earth. My face hits the dirt as all the air leaves my lungs, leaving nothing but the taste of the earth and blood in my mouth. There is someone standing on my back, applying enough pressure Iâm sure Iâll have a broken rib or two.
âDonât go too far, sweetheart. We are just getting started with you.â A cry of pain leaves my lips as one of Hybernâs generals continues to crush my ribcage. The nausea and ringing in my head is too much. Then, with another blow to my head, everything is dark.
---
Before
âOh, come on now sweet cheeks! You can do better than that. Az and I trained you myself!â Cassianâs voice was oh so annoying as he pinned me to my back. Sweat was gleaming across both of us as we spent the morning training. I was panting as my mind continued to reel.
Life had gotten tense with the Inner Circle recently. Not only was Prythian on the cusp of war with Hybern, but now we had to juggle the two newly made Fae that were the Archeron sisters.
I honestly felt bad for them. They did not ask for this life. I can only image what it would be like to go through life having your humanity ripped from you. Now knowing that you are going to be around for centuries instead of decades. And I felt bad for Feyre, who never wanted to see her sisterâs dragged into this.
Usually, Azriel would be here with Cassian and me. Usually. It seemed as though Azriel had been getting far in over his head with the middle Archeron sister as of late. I would be lying if I said it didnât bother me. But, I would never admit that fact out loud. Elain was half here and half not. Whenever she did speak, sheâd just spew some crap that didnât make any sense. But, that didnât stop Azriel from spending any time he was not preparing for the war, with her.
Azriel. My heart seized at just the mention of his name. I had known the Shadowsinger for centuries. I stood by his side as he faced his own inner turmoil about Rhys being taken from us right under our feet. I stood by him even before that as I watched Windhaven and Devlon try to take was little he had away from him. Really, I had stood by everyone in this Inner Circle. But Azriel, Az was different. This too I would never admit out loud.
It took me holding him one night, after he had dreamt of his hands being lit aflame again, that it snapped. In all his vulnerability, it just, snapped. Az and I had shared a connection, a friendship, and I had loved him far long before the mating bond clicked in place. It only felt right that it was him. But, it hasnât snapped for him.
It hurt, every single day, it hurt. And to watch him try so hard to make whatever it was happen with Elain, who was mated to someone else, made me feel worthless. This too, was not his fault. How was he supposed to know when I refused to breathe a word of it. Honestly, it might be a good thing, the distance. It hurts, but Azriel deserves happiness. I donât know if Iâm the one who can give him that.
âDamnit Cass!â I grunted as I fought back from his restraint.
âYou are letting yourself get sloppy, Y/N. No room for that on the battlefield.â His face was smug. I felt some embarrassment creep up my neck and find its way on my cheeks.
âI know, I know.â I huffed. âJust let me up already.â I gave up on fighting back. Recently I found myself lacking the energy I used to have. I used to be full, driven, but I have found myself distant lately.
âLook, are you sure youâre okay, Y/N? You have not had your head in the game recently.â He stood and held a hand out to me. Cassian only wanted to check on me, it was nice really. I just wasnât used to it. I had been the one the members of this court had always leaned their heads on. There just seemed to be no room for the others to do the same for me. So, I never asked them to. I wasnât going to start now.
âIâm fine Cass, just tired.â I retorted.
âArenât we all sweet cheeks.â He said as he patted my back.
---
Now
Fire is crackling somewhere near me, but I canât feel its warmth. I feel myself chained up. My arms were far above my head, hanging me from a support post. My feet had been stripped of their shoes, and now chains wrapped around my ankles. My body hurt, breathing hurt, and my head hurt. I was sure that this hellhole was only going to make it worse.
âAh, there she is. Glad to see you actual awoke, we were starting to get worried.â Spoke the same general who broke my ribs.
I kept my mouth shut, only glaring at the direction of the voice. My vision was still blurry, and where I hope there was only one of him, I saw three.
The entrance flap of the tent open and closed to reveal another male. This one, I recognized. The King of Hybern himself.
âIf it isnât Y/N of the Night Court. I have to say, my men did a fine job bringing you in here for me. Wouldnât you say so?â His voice was gruff. âNow that youâre here, we some questions we need answered, and I suggest you do answer them, dear. Iâm sure you donât want to find out what will happen if you donât cooperate.â
I lazily lifted my head toward the King and sneered. âTry me.â I bit back, my voice laced with venom.
âOh, I was afraid youâd say something of those sorts.â The king waved in another male, he was in head to toe in black. Something similar to what Iâd see our very own Shadowsinger wear. Only this male was no where near the build of Az, but damn, did he look pissed.
The male pulled out a small dagger that was sheathed on their waist and made his way closer to me. I couldnât help but let a little laugh escape my lips, âSize does matter you know,â I quipped. I know this man was here to interrogate me, but I could not let these people know how truly vulnerable I felt.
âOh? I beg to differ.â The male stated as he plunged the dagger into the flesh of my calf.
---
BeforeÂ
Rhys wanted to have a family dinner tonight. It would be the first one in quite a long time. With everything going on, who was to blame anyone? I couldnât say I was looking forward to it though. I used to love the time I could spend with my family, but now, it wasnât the same. Not when my family was no longer the same.Â
Rhys had Feyre, who donât get me wrong, I love, and I love to see Rhys have the mate he has always deserved. But, with the additions of the Acheron sisters came with something strained. Cass hasnât said anything, but I see the way he looks at Nesta. Nesta, who wants absolutely nothing to do with him, or any of us for that matter. Mor and Amren hadnât been around as of late. Both were too busy preparing for this inevitable war. Mor with being an emissary and Amren with working out some logistics of the Cauldron.Â
And Az. Azriel was no longer seeking me out. No longer spending time in the training ring or the library with me. Instead, he was with Elain.Â
And then, there was me. Before this family all I was, was alone. Finding this family had saved me in more aspects than one, but I can feel it shifting under my feet, about to give way and take me with the edge of it.Â
This though, is something I would never speak about. There is enough going on as it is. No one needs to be burdened about me, my unreciprocated feelings for the Shadowsinger, or my silly feelings of insecurity. Iâm a friend to the court, a warrior, sometimes an advisor, but, I am nothing compared to the rest of them. I simply do not hold enough importance, and that is something I must live with. Something I am terrified they will realize as well.Â
I was the last to make it to the table. Cauldron, even Elain is here. And next to Elain was Az. Hazel eyed, messy haired, Az. We caught each otherâs eyes. I couldnât help but let a smile creep up onto my face in greeting, and he smiled back.
I took my seat next to Cass and Amren and looked at the table around me. Even though war was around the corner, it felt good to gather as if nothing was wrong. Conservation started buzzing, everyone started eating, and I drifted off to a place that wouldnât hurt me.
â-Â
Now
Sweat is dripping off me in beads. My body is littered with cuts and bruises. But, I didnât say a word. Not a single word about the size of our armies, not a word about what Rhys and the others had planned, not a word about our allies. Not a word. And I was paying for it.
Gods. They had left me here, giving me a break from the beatings and the torture. Whatever the used must have been laced with faebane because I have never felt this weak. This out of control of myself. I wasnât healing, and I was still losing blood. At this rate, it wasnât looking good. I was still hanging from my arms, Iâm sure at this point I had a shoulder out of itâs socket. A rustling began again at the entrance of the tent.
âBack for more?â I croaked. My throat was completely dry from the screaming. But, when I got my eyes open enough to see what the cause of the noise was, my heart stopped dead in itâs tracks.
Elain.
---
Before
I retreated from dinner early. As pitiful as it sounds, I couldnât be around it. I couldnât stand to see Azriel with her any longer. Not when I knew he was the one who was slowly healing her and ruining me.
Knocking at my bedroom door pulled me from my thoughts and I was looking into a book, not really reading it. âCome in,â I shouted.
The site of Azriel caught me off guard. Once upon a time, it was normal for him to seek me out from my room. Now, it simply wasnât. I couldnât help but tense.
âOh! Az!â I put my book down and stood. âHow are you doing?â I smiled up at him.
âYou would know if you hadnât left dinner so early.â He looked down at me, frowning and crossing his arms. It was rare that Az was upset with me.
âLook, Iâm sorry, Iâm tired after training today.â I gave him a sad smile, not wanting him to push the issue further. âBut please, tell me what I missed.â
This somehow made his shadows start to swirl around him and he huffed. âI was telling everyone how much progress Elain had made. Sheâs having actual conversations now.â He smiled at it, proud.
I tried not to show any hurt on my face. I have no right for this to hurt me. He was helping someone, and I had to be pitiful enough that I was jealous.
âThatâs amazing Az, youâve helped her a lot.â I let another smile grace my face. Before I knew what I was saying it was falling out of my lips, âBut, you do realize that she is mated, right?â
Azrielâs demeanor shifted. His shadows became agitated, âElain is a friend. She is going through a lot, and she needs support.â He sighed, âPlus, I think that cauldron could be wrong.â That sentence alone was enough to rip whatever was left in me to shreds. Why couldnât he see me?
I had to take a deep breath to keep the silver lining in my eyes in place. âAz, when in your life have you ever seen the cauldron be wrong? Why would it start being wrong now?â
âLook, maybe youâll understand one day, but itâs wrong about her and Lucien.â He crossed his arms now.
âIt sounds like you want to it be wrong. Whether it is, or not.â
Azriel was growing frustrated. His eyebrow ticked and he huffed, âCan you blame me for wanting something more?â
âShe is mated Azriel. Off limits.â I tried to stress him. âI donât want to see you hurt if it doesnât turn out the way you want.â I sighed. âI wouldnât want my mate ripped away from me, Iâm sure Lucien doesnât either.â He doesnât even realize that Iâm talking about him. Not a single clue.
âRipped away? Look Y/N, just because youâre alone, does not mean I have to be. Why are you making this about you?â He nearly snarled at me. Snarled. âI have finally found another purpose other than this war. I have found something, someone, to spend my time with and enjoy.â
His words hit me like an arrow to the chest. Alone. Maybe they all did see me, and they just didnât care. Why couldnât I be enough for him? Why hadnât in all the time and cherished memories we have together be enough. We had held each other in hardship. We had trained together. We had grown together. We had spent countless Starfalls together. We had shared so many laughs and touches. Why wasnât what we had enough for him?
The weight of Azrielâs words hung in the air, heavy silence settling between us. My heart ached with the sting of his remark, and I fought to keep any of my remaining composure.
I deflated, âAz,â I tried to sigh as he cut me off again.
âWell, maybe if you werenât so insecure, youâd see that Iâm just trying to help someone whoâs been through a lot. Youâre jealous and itâs clouding your judgment.â He stared at me, and I had to look away. I didnât realize it but I began to shake. I couldnât tell if it was from rage, or from the way my heart cracked as he spoke.
âI think you should go Az.â My voice began to break, and I could tell that my walls were going to come down. Not once had I ever asked him to leave.
His own eyes softened, and he reached for me, âWait.â
He tried to continue but I cut him off, âLeave, Azriel.â I turned to face away from him. I gathered my arms together. I couldnât let him see the tears that were rolling down my face, I wouldnât.
He pulled his arm back to himself and hesitated, seeing the pain he was causing me. Without another word, he turned and left, the door closing behind with a heavy finality.
---
Now
Elain. What the fuck was she doing here?
Seeing her tore me from my stupor. She acted as if she was in a trance, half there. I was really panicking now. I could take this torture and pain, Elain, I donât think she would last. I could hardly pull at my restraints at this point.
âElain! Elain!â I screamed at her, trying to get her attention. One of the males that was hauling her in, left her side and strolled to mine. Next thing I knew I was tasting my own blood in my mouth as his fist met with my face. As the blood welled up in my mouth, I felt rage hit me. I spat at him. His face now coated with the bloody saliva that he caused me.
He wiped his hand over his face, ridding it of its bloody covering. I snarled at him as he drew a blade. Good. This way the focus would stay on me and not Elain. He brought the blade to my face, slicing a thin mark down my cheek. âIf you wanted more, you couldâve just asked.â He trailed the blade down my neck, and now to my collar bone, all the while slicing lightly as he went. He brought his lips to my ear and his hand grabbed my face, âI have so much more than just blades and fists in store for you, girl.â
It was almost too hard to stomach. I didnât want to know what he was alluding to. Elain, do this for Elain. I told myself. I kept silent and he pushed me away, returning to the other male who was already putting Elain into restraints.
Why is she here? Why is she not fighting back?
As they finished with her restraints, Hybern himself walked back into the tent.
âCauldron be damned, if itâs not also Feyreâs cauldron made sister.â Hybern chuffed, âWe are truly going to have such a fun time together.â He chuckled as he looked between Elain and I.
He nodded at his men and they both reach for their knives. One for me. One for Elain.
âWait!â I blurted as I saw the man move toward Elaine, âPlease, leave her unharmed.â
âHmm,â hummed Hybern, âNow, tell me pretty thing, why would I do that?â
âSheâs a Seer. Please, you must leave her unharmed or she will be no use to anyone. She will not come out of any trance if she is harmed.â I didnât know if what I was blabbing was true. I only knew that I needed to protect Elain, for she could not protect herself.
Hybern nodded again at the male who was at Elainâs side. The male sheathed his blade and I let out a silent sigh.
âYou on the other hand,â Hybern turned his attention back on me, âI have some questions about pretty Elain.â A wicked smile reached the lips of the male in front of me, as he lifted his blade threatening. âYou, dear Y/N, best answer them.â
The male reached for my shirt and tore it in half. Now leaving my chest and abdomen exposed to the air, only a warriorâs wrap covering my breasts. I gasped at the bite of the air reaching my skin. My abdomen was littered with black and blue bruising from the beatings. The faebane in my system slowing any kind of healing.
I turned my face to a stone grimace. I could do this. I told myself. If nobody comes for you, then surely someone will come for Elain.
That truth hurt almost as much as the torture that I was being put through.
---
Before
It had been about a week since Iâd seen Azriel. The bond that used to hum in my chest felt vacant. Rhysand had sent me and Cassian to one of the Illyrian war bands that were positioned in case of an attack.
It was a single flaming arrow that was sent into a tent that set everything into utter chaos. Cassian was in the middle of a meeting with some of the other commanders, and I was in the training ring.
Hybernâs forces hit us as if we were nothing but an anthill in their way.
I donât know where Cassian was as I fought and fought, until I was brought down.
---
Now
I was hardly holding on. I had no energy to cry out anymore. No energy to even lift my own head up. My abdomen and back was near ribbons after that male drove his blade into me again and again.
Elain had seemed to snap in and out of it. When she was somewhat coherent, she would only cry. I felt bad for her, but I had done what I could do protect her. There wasnât a single scratch on her.
At thinking of Elain my mind drifted to Azriel. I wonder if heâs looking for me, if not, her.
The inner circle had to know that something was wrong at this point. I only hope that Cassian was also okay after we were ambushed. Iâm sure if he wasnât, heâd be right next to me also receiving the beatings I was.
Blood dripped down my back, creating a small pool under me. I truly didnât know how much longer I would last. I had never felt weaker in my life.
I shouldâve told him that night. Anguish was suffocating me. I found myself retracing everything I did as of late. The way I stole myself away from my family because I was being nothing but pitiful. The way they started to treat me differently. The way one no one would come to me anymore, and I would not go to them. No wonder they have left you here. You are nothing to them. My mind bit at me.
What truly bothered me was the downfall of mine as Azrielâs friendship. He was the one person I could always truly count on. If I had fallen in training, if I had drank too much, if some stupid male had broke my heart, it was always Azriel that had caught me, and me him. Itâs why I fell in love with him long before the bond snapped its place into my heart. And now I was going to die without him ever knowing. I was simply going to fade away as my blood pooled underneath me.
It's better this way. I told myself. Elain is unharmed, and I will fade before anyone knows of this bond. The war will be won and Az will be able to move on with someone he finds joy in.
I couldnât help but let tears run down my face. I wanted to scream, to find some way out, but with the faebane running through me, I was simply too weak.
---
I woke to the sound of rustling at the entrance of the tent. The rustling led to Elain, and I could hear her restraints being messed with. I nearly couldnât pry my eyes open at the sound. Maybe they would finally take me from my misery. I silently hoped. Thatâs when I heard a quiet gasp. I looked up to see.. Feyre? And behind her, the one messing with Elainâs chains, Azriel.
My heart lurched to a stop. They had come to help, we were going to get out.
âAzriel..â Feyre quietly said as he brought Elain into his arms.
âWhat.â He nearly hissed at her. Thatâs when he looked up and truly saw me.
âAz.. Feyre..â I choked on my words. Help was here. I was going to get out of here. To make it. Finally something positive bloomed in my chest in place of where that hole had found itself.
Azriel set Elain back down and rushed to my side. He put a hand to my cheek, âY/N, we couldnât find you anywhere. Cass, he said you were missing after the battle.â His touch sent shivers down my beaten spine.
My restraints still bore heavily into my wrists where I was strung up. Then, there was rustling and yelling coming from outside of the tent.
âHelp me down, please.â My voice was raw and pleading.
The yelling was getting closer and closer.
âAz, we have to leave, now.â Feyre said, trying to scoop Elain into her arms.
Azrielâs hand left my cheek, and panic flared into his eyes as he took in my state.
Hybernâs soldiers were coming, realizing something was wrong. Azriel looked between Elain and I, backing up from where I was strung up. He was backing away from me. Why was he backing away from me?
My own panic started to settle deep inside of me, long squashing any hope that had found itâs place.
âAzriel⊠please,â I coughed quietly. Dread was setting deeply inside of me. They didnât plan on saving two. They came here for Elain, not me.
A sob found itâs way onto my lips as he picked Elain from Feyreâs arms. Feyre herself looking torn, her eyes expressing so much anguish.
âWe will come back Y/N. I promise.â Azrielâs words were yet another punch to the gut.
I couldnât help but let the sobs I had been holding onto for so long bubble out of me.
âPlease donât leave me here.â I cried, no longer caring for the quietness. They both stiffened at the sound of my voice. âPlease,â I was gasping for air as this point, âIf youâre not going to take me, then at least put me down.â
Their eyes widened at my statement, but I couldnât hold for much longer. I needed this pain to end. This suffering to be over with.
âWe will be back. I will come straight back.â Azriel hushly stated. His eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes were boring into me. They were trying to convince me he was telling the truth, but I knew better. I knew that they were only getting into the camp once successfully.
They chose Elain. They were going to leave me behind.
âJust kill me, please kill meâŠâ I sobbed, âPlease if you are going to leave me behind, then just kill me.â
Feyre was crying now, and Azriel. I knew, that even though he was choosing Elain, Elain to save, and Elain to love, he still wouldnât harm me.
âIâm so sorry Y/N.â Feyre bubbled out of her crying lips as she quickly left the tent under her cloak.
Azriel and I made eye contact again through my sobbing, through the tears that were leaving my eyes in force. âI will be right back. I will come back for you.â And then, he was gone. With Elain in his arms.
I broke, truly broke. No weapon could hurt me as much as the sight of who I loved most, my mate, leaving me here, strung up and bleeding out.
#azriel x reader#acotar x reader#acotar#azriel spymaster#azriel shadowsinger#Acotar x reader#acotar fanfiction#acotar fic#azriel acotar#acotar fanfic#azriel angst#angst#Azriel x reader angst
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Limits
pairing: lee minho x gn!reader genre/warnings: established relationship, somewhat suggestive, allusions to sexual activities (?), hurt/comfort, mc is overwhelmed and showcases such symptoms as a result, self-indulgent af because i can word count: ~0.5k note: this stuff can be scary, so remember that communication and consent are the sexiest things in a relationship âĄ
As soon as your head hits the pillow, Minho knows something is different. Wrong.Â
Your once fervent kisses slow, lips barely meeting to brush up against his. Wandering touches become hesitant from underneath him, your hands instead settling to stiffly drape over his shoulders. Your chest raises rapidly, pressing against him in short bursts, and Minhoâs hand dancing along the hem of your shirt halts.
Releasing the fabric, he quickly leans back until he can see your face, carefully hovering over your taut form. And what he sees makes his heart plummet to the depths of his stomach. Wide, shifting eyes flit around the room, avoiding his concerned stare. Youâre on the brink of hyperventilating, sucking in shallow breaths sure to make your lungs burn in exertion. Glistening tears pooling in your eyes catch the bedroomâs soft lighting, and Minho is frozen, unable to tear his gaze away and ask what is happening until you start subtly pushing against him. Â
Snapping back into reality, Minho scrambles off you, barely noticing your arms fall limply to the bed, and lies on his side in the space beside you. âHey, hey, shhh, itâs okay, itâs okay,â Minho soothes, bringing a hand up to tenderly cup your cheek. His thumb brushes over your cheekbone, hoping the touch will comfort you, even if only the slightest, as his eyes hurriedly scan your body. His heart is beating out of his chest and the growing lump in his throat isn't helping when he doesnât find anything irregular except the love bites he left on exposed skin. âWhatâs wrong?â
You snap your gaze up and finally meet his worried one. The rise and fall of your chest slows ever so slightly. âI donât know,â you breathe, rushing your next words. âCan you hold me for a minute?â
âOf course.â Minho tucks his arm underneath you and wraps the other around your waist, pulling you into his chest. His fingertips lightly scratch the base of your neck as your shaking body relaxes in his embrace. You hide your face in his neck, immediately nuzzling further as if youâve finally returned homeâas if he was your sanctuary from the rest of the world. Minutes pass, and he feels the tension slowly leave your body. Your breathing gradually steadies, small puffs of air tickling his neck.Â
âIâm sorry, I donât know why, but I just canât do it right now,â you murmur, lips grazing his skin.Â
Minho stills, furrowing his brows before gently grasping your shoulder and pulling you back to look at him. âDonât be sorry. Never be sorry for telling me how you feel,â he whispered, resting his forehead against yours. âI will never force you to do anything you donât want to. Okay?â
He watches you nod in response but doesnât break his stare.
âOkay,â you say.
Minho presses a chaste kiss to your forehead and gathers you in his arms again. âGood.â
liked this work? want to let me know how i did? please like, comment, and/or reblog; they are greatly appreciated my asks are always open âĄ
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I guess itâs never really over
mechanic!steve harrington x fem!reader exes to lovers
chapter one -
Late arrivals and big asks
A broken down car, a party at Reefer Rickâs, and a bandaid that needs to be ripped off.
warnings: 18+ drinking, smoking, lots of tension, some king!steve angst in the form of a flashback.
wc: 10.1k
series masterlist | series playlist
June -Â
The air is sticky, thick with the kind of humidity only Indiana could have at 9:30 pm. An annoyed breath expands into your lungs as you lean against your car that refuses to do anything but sputter. Despite your irritation, your glossed lips twitch with the nostalgia that creeps into your heart because after all these years it still smells the same.
Crossing your arms, your eyes trail over the clear night sky not polluted with the kind of man-made smog that blankets the city and the stars shimmer like diamonds in its absence. The warmth of the overrun engine is still hot on your exposed calves, the light breeze making the bottom of your sundress dance across the tops of your thighs. White beams emerge, cutting through the dark at the top of the hill, followed by the roar only a tow truck can make, and this time, the smile you fought off before spreads wide across your face.
Robin.
Butterflies wake up in a frenzy deep in your gut, with nerves that twitch from your fingertips at the thought of finally getting to hug your best friend after months apart. You push off the side of your car as the truck approaches, eyes squinting to make out the second outline in the front cabin as it pulls over. You recognize the messy mane of hair that could only belong to Eddie Munson in the driver seat almost instantly and his dimple filled smile brings you back to memories you thought youâd long forgotten.Â
âWell, well, well, would you look at what the cat dragged in!â Robin sticks her head out of the window with a wide grin as the big tires slow to a stop in front of your car, âare my eyes deceiving me or is my best friend in the entire world actually in Hawkins, Indiana right now?âÂ
The rasp in her voice sounds just like it does over the phone and despite the roll of your eyes, your cheeks hurt from how happy you are.
âShut up, donât act like you didnât guilt me out here by saying the fate of your future depends on it.â Uncrossing your arms, you open them wide, âI made the ultimate sacrifice for you, so are you gonna hug me or not?â
Dramatic? Yes. But it works like a charm when she flings open the passenger door and charges at you in a mess of honey blond waves and freckles, almost tackling you with the force of her impact wrapping her arms around you.
Too distracted by Robin, you almost donât notice the creak of the driver's side door or the filled out frame of the man that used to be a lanky teenage boy walking past as Eddie starts to attach your car to his truck. Heâs taller than you remembered even bending down, and despite the navy blue coveralls, you can still see that his pale skin is littered with even more tattoos.
âI canât believe my guilt trip worked!â Robin beams, finally letting you go, her whole body practically vibrating with excitement as she claps her ring clad hands together.
âI really canât believe it either,â you laugh nervously, the reality of what it means to come back starting to set in after seeing just one familiar face, but this isnât high school anymore and youâre definitely not the same person you were five years ago either.
âThanks so much, Eddie,â you break the ice when he stands back up, and the sound of your voice has his big brown eyes warmed with gold light up just like his face when he turns his full attention onto you. Scruff filled dimples poking even bigger holes in his cheeks.
âItâs my pleasure, sweetheart, I almost didnât believe Robin when she called me. I thought it was a prank.â He beckons you over with open arms, ânow that I know itâs not, you have exactly 10 seconds to get over here and hug me before I change my mind.â
Thereâs zero hesitation about giving into his âdemandâ and when your arms wrap around his waist, youâre brought back to afternoons in the woods behind the school with heavy lidded eyes and lopsided grins.Â
âYour own auto shop, huh?â You smile up at him, pulling away, âEddie Munson, the business owner.â
He rolls his eyes but the pink tint that colors in his cheeks tells you he appreciates the praise.
âYeah, something like that.â He chuckles, âGot a soft spot for that old man in the trailer park, couldnât bring myself to leave.â
Your heart warms at the fondness that drips from his ton.Â
âOkay, as sweet as this little reunion is. Youâre late, and we have a party to get to.â Robin interrupts snatching your keys out of your hand, dropping them in Eddieâs.
âA party?â You snap confused, and Eddie takes that as his queue to walk away with a knowing smirk.
âYes, this is the summer of fun and reckless abandon, this is the last summer of our youth before we have to be adults. Do you understand me?â Her fingers are digging into your shoulders by the end of her rant, with the kind of look in her eyes that youâre absolutely going to have to revisit after a few weeks.Â
âThis is the part where I remind you that I graduated college last year.âÂ
Your best friend scoffs at you.
âJust humor me, okay? Itâs your grand homecoming.â She pushes out her bottom lip, and makes her eyes big in a way she knows you canât say no to.
âFine.â You huff, making her finally let you go with the kind of pleased smirk that tells you she never thought she was going to lose to begin with.
âGreat, itâs time to rip the bandaid off anyway.â Robin practically mumbles the last part turning on her heel to head back to the truck.
It takes a minute for her words to stick to your ears and their meaning to ring loud through your head, but when they do it feels like the air is stolen from your lungs.Â
âRip what bandaid off, Robin?!âÂ
Itâs his name tightens in your chest but you refuse to say it, even after all this time it burns coming back up.Â
âSince you had to drive for so long, Iâll sit in the middle because Iâm just that good of a friend, you know?â She winks with a shit eating grin before pulling herself up and disappearing inside the cab of the truck, ignoring your question, like sheâs not asking you to do the one thing you said youâd never do.Â
See Steve Harrington again.
I tell myself, âdraw the line.â
You wonder if Robin can feel the daggers youâre glaring into the back of her head as the two of you walk up the driveway to Rickâs house. Gravel crunching hard under your converse as you keep up with her black combat boots. She looks effortlessly cool in her high waisted jean shorts, and her oversized army green jacket covered in patches. Youâd compliment her if you werenât so mad.
âI canât believe you guys still have parties here.â You scoff, making your sour attitude known, but your best friend ignores it with ease.
âI canât believe you forgot to have fun. Donât you live in the city?â Turning around with a smirk, she canât help but laugh at the look on your face.Â
She stops abruptly, almost making you run into her leaving you both just close enough to the party to hear the bass of the music spilling through the cracks in the windows. The low chatter of people echoes through the trees that surround you and bounce off the lake not that far away. The thought of hearing the calm baritone of his voice mixed in makes your chest tight with the kind of nerves that dare you to high tail it and run.
âItâs been five years.â Robinâs playful demeanor breaks and becomes pleading with a kind of desperation youâve never seen from her before. âHeâs not the person you knew in high school, I need you to understand that. You think Iâd call someone like that my best friend?â
âHey!-â You object at the title, and it makes her lips twitch despite serious lines that crease her face.
âStop, you know what I mean,â her painted fingers grab onto yours, squeezing them lightly, âplease, just give him a chance. Iâm not asking you to get back together or even be friends, just get along enough not to kill each other this summer. I canât choose between you. I wonât.â
The genuine love she has for Steve is apparent in the way her ocean blue eyes threaten to drown you in their sincerity, and you canât find it in yourself to say no to her.Â
âFine.â You accept your defeat in practically a whisper, but it makes your best friend squeal nonetheless. The giddiness from before coming back tenfold as she links arms with you, continuing your way up to the house.Â
Itâs just a summer, right?
The crowd gets bigger as more people start to come into view, between groups smoking cigarettes outside, couples arguing by cars, others making out against them. The smell of beer gets more pungent with each step, the atmosphere a stark contrast to the way the moon glows against the peaceful waters behind the madness of the house.Â
Salt N Pepaâs âPush Itâ plays loud enough for you to make out the words when you reach the front steps, walking through clouds of tobacco smoke to get to the unlocked door. The interior hasnât changed at all since high school, the smell of stale lime and tequila stinging your nose. The bass of the music vibrates under your shoes as Robin unlinks her arms and you have to fight the urge to yank her back.
âDrinks or âŠSteve first?â She asks, her nerves about the situation finally showing themselves as she bites at her thumbnail.Â
âAbsolutely drinks! Is that a trick question?â You half whisper, half yell, looking around as if saying his name out loud might summon him.
âOkay! Okay!â Robin hisses, grabbing your wrist, leading you towards the familiar path to Rickâs kitchen.
Suddenly you wonder what your makeup looks like after a long day of traveling in your car, your fingers tugging at the bottom of your dress before adjusting the front of it so it sits just right. You itch to grab your lip gloss thatâs tucked into the side of your bra, but you donât want to deal with the look youâd get if you went for it.
Rounding the corner to the living room, your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach before you even have a chance to stop it when your eyes meet that messy head of chestnut hair, and a pair of hot pink nails tangled inside it.Â
âOh - I - god dammit.â Robin groans, when you're met with number two on your list, making out with a pretty blond on the couch.
Despite the years and distance, thereâs still a sting that you feel in the corners of your eyes. Itâs not enough for any tears to fall, thereâs none left for him anymore, but itâs enough for the anger youâve clung to since the day he broke your heart to boil hot under your skin. It singes the wings of the butterflies that try to take flight when you see the way his frame has filled out, how heâs somehow grown more handsome than the last time you saw him.Â
Robin coughs, squeezing your wrist in reassurance.
âHey, - uh, Steve.â The sound of his name catches his attention, long brown lashes fluttering open to reveal the deep coffee of his eyes that widen when they lock with yours for the first time in years.Â
His lips pull from the blondâs with a loud smack, leaving a small trail of glitter on the side of his mouth that he tries to wipe away quickly with his wrist. Black ink youâve never seen before looks bold on his tanned skin that glows like itâs been freshly kissed by the sun.Â
His gaze wanders up and down your body like heâs unsure youâre actually real, and if it wasnât for the obvious shock of your arrival and the way the color seems to drain from his face, youâd snap at him for the way it lingers over your curves.Â
âUm, Robin, what the fuck?â The sound of his voice makes your heart skip a beat, and again when his hand drags through his hair just how you remembered.
âSurprise?â She shrugs, wincing when he scoffs loudly and the warmth that went missing floods his cheeks, turning them bright red. The blond next to him eyes you up while she clutches harder to his waist, and you canât stop the rise of your brows and the giggle that bubbles past your lips because of it.
Steveâs head snaps towards you, something softening the moss that hides in his eyes when he hears the noise despite the sarcasm that drips from it, and you really get to look at him for the first time since high school graduation.Â
God, you wish you couldâve had that drink.Â
The jawline that always drove you mad is sharper, peppered with the kind of hardly there stubble that tells you heâs only missed one shaving day. A problem he never used to have, and somehow, it makes him all that much more attractive.Â
His hair is a little messier than his carefully crafted look that used to take him a good forty five minutes every morning. It curls wildly at the ends now, tucking behind his ears and fanning along the nape of his freckled neck. It still looks as soft as you remember, though.Â
His shoulders are broader, stretching the white cotton of his shirt tight enough across his chest that you can see the outline of a thick patch of hair that had only just started growing when you knew him last. The dark wash of his jeans makes them look almost black, fitting snug over his thighs, cuffed at the bottoms framing the tops of his boots.
Why couldnât Steve Harrington just peak in high school like he was supposed to?
âSo yeah, this is awkward.â Your best friend laughs nervously, âWeâre going to get a drink or three because this scenario is by far the worst case and not the way this was supposed to go in my head, but anyway, look whoâs here for the summer! Weâll talk later!âÂ
Robin grabs your wrist before Steve can respond, pulling you back into the party and away from your ex-boyfriend while the realization of the summer youâve foolishly agreed to hits you all at once. It turns your body weightless as the two of you weave in and out of the crowd. It tightens in your chest, the music turning muffled hitting your ear drums. Suddenly, you're not the woman who crossed state lines to the one place she said sheâd never come back to, happily living the lie that youâd actually forgotten about him to be a good friend.
Youâre the girl who let him keep you a secret, and you hate him for it.
Sneakers hit the sticky tile floor that hasnât changed since 1984, the harsh lighting of the kitchen makes you both squint. Itâs calmer than the rest of the house, just a few groups lingering off in the corners, too deep in conversation to care about you and Robin. Letting go of a breath you didnât know you were holding, your ears start to pop too, Eddie Moneyâs Take Me Home Tonight coming through crystal clear.
âThe band-aid might have been violently ripped off, but hey, itâs ripped off nonetheless.â Robin shrugs, finding the half-drunk bottle of tequila on the counter. âI think we should count this as a win and take a shot to celebrate.â
âA win?! Are you kidding me?!â You hiss, completely bewildered.
âYes a win - oh no.â Her blue eyes go wide at whateverâs behind you, but it doesnât take you long to figure out when that familiar spice and cedar of his cologne hits your nose.
âRight so, whoâs going to let me know whatâs going on?â
His voice comes out close enough to send your lashes fluttering, mimicking your heart. The nerves youâd just gotten over threaten to come back tenfold, but you manage to swallow them down just like in high school, turning around.
âI think itâs obvious whatâs going on, Steve,â
Itâs not as hard to say his name as you thought it would be, but it is hard to stare at his face from this close. Specifically, the two moles that dot his cheek that you always used to kiss, or the ones on his neck that you hate still taunt you for more.Â
âIâm here for the summer.â
Steve Harrington had thought about this moment a lot, but Rickâs house was never the backdrop for it. His eyes take in the features youâve not only grown into but somehow are even more beautiful than he remembers. Even if theyâre twisted in a glare.Â
âI meant, why didnât I know until right now?â He manages to get out with a shake of his head narrowing his eyes at Robin, whoâs too busy trying to find clean shot glasses to notice.
âWhy would you need to know?â You snap, making a nervous hand card through his hair
âCause Iâve, uh, you know, Iâve asked about you a few times,â the last part comes out a little harsher, clearly directed at your best friend, who you know is actively ignoring you both now.
âWhy? Why would you need to know anything about me?â Your hostility still shocks him even though he was expecting it. His eyebrows shoot up just like his hands in surrender. âWhy didnât you tell me, Robin?â
She groans loudly, slamming the tequila bottle down on the counter before turning around.
âYou said you didnât want to hear anything about him after you moved, why would I tell you he was asking about you?â
âWait -â Steve butts in this time, âseriously?â
âOh my god, can you two shut the fuck up for a second and take these shots? Youâre really putting a damper on the beginning of the best summer of our lives,â Robin snaps before waving a hand in front of three freshly poured shots.
Itâs a struggle to tear your eyes from him, your body responding to his presence in a way that feels like itâs turning against you. It has you downing your shot in one quick motion before anyone else can even touch theirs.Â
âWow, okay.â Robin deadpans before shaking her head, wasting no time in following your lead.
âSo weâre not cheersing anymore? Isnât that bad luck?â Steve mutters, shoulder brushing against yours as he leans forward to grab his shot, the slightest touch enough to engulf your skin into flames.
A whole summer? Fuck.
âRobin, pour another one.â You rush with pinched brows as you try to move past the bitter sting of the alcohol going down your throat, taking a step toward her and away from him, you add âand weâll cheers.â
You refuse to meet his gaze when you say it, but you can feel the intensity of it on the side of your face, begging you to break.
âRobâs, how are you guys getting home?â Steve finally breaks, giving up his quiet fight for now, and you hate the way his nickname for her softens your heart.
âHuh, thatâs a good question, I hadnât thought that far yet.â She admits, over pouring so tequila splashes against the countertop, looking up at him with a mischievous grin.
âSeriouslyâ
âRECKLESS ABANDON STEVEY!â Cutting him off, she downs her shot in his disapproving face.
âYou didnât cheers again.â Steve sighs, hands finding his hips as you whine an irritated, âWe needed to cheers!â At the same time.
Your eyes meet his finally, his knowing smirk twisting the corners of your lips despite yourself. You blame the tequila starting to warm the blood in your veins.
âWell, you need to take yours then if weâre doing another one âthe properâ way, or itâs not going to be even.â Robin points at your drink in a silent challenge.Â
You know how this game works.
âFine.â You shrug, downing it with more ease than the last one.
âOh my god. Stop! Do not pour another one before you answer my question, please!â Steve sounds exasperated, grabbing the bottle from her before she can disobey, âHow are you getting home?âÂ
You try not to focus on how much larger his already big hands are now, or how small the bottle looks wrapped up in his palm compared to your best friends. The second shot takes the edge off your nerves in a way that your shoulders relax. Leaning against the counter, you cross your arms, watching the two of them bicker, catching Steveâs wandering gaze on your exposed legs while he tries his best to keep his focus on Robin. It boosts your ego in a way that has the anger hiding just under the surface go from a boil to a slow simmer.
âI donât know Harrington, do you know anybody with a car?â She wiggles two thick brows at him, the second shot making her blue eyes glassy, and her smile a little more goofy.
âWhyâd I know you were going to say that? And why did I know you were going to do this?â Steve sighs, letting her snatch the bottle out of his hand.
âWhat? Bring her to the party?â Robin snorts pointing a thumb in your direction, making you gasp.
âRobin!â
âNo! What? No. But donât think,â Steve clears his throat looking at you awkwardly before finishing a little quieter, âdonât think weâre not going to talk about this later.â
âI can still hear you.â You remind him with a sarcastic smirk.
âYeah, I know you can. Look, Iâll DD for you because obviously tonight is, uhh,â he gestures to you with cheeks that grow pinker by the second, âa big deal. But you gotta stop doing this to me, I need you to get your license youâre out of colleg-â
âShots! Steveâs driving us home!â Robin whoops loudly, and an irritated Steve pinches the bridge of his nose before walking away.Â
Your eyes follow him out the door, shoulder blades flexing under cotton when he runs another hand through his hair before disappearing from sight. You try to push down the small pang of jealousy that makes a familiar home inside your chest remembering the blond girl waiting for him on the couch.
âOkay, okay,â Robin interrupts your inner struggle at the perfect time, sliding an overflowing shot over to you with a giggle that's contagious and it banishes Steve from your mind just like magic. âIâm not going to forget this time, promise.â
âI donât think I can afford for you to forget again,â you smirk, raising your glass, tequila spilling over the tops of your fingers, âcheers!â
âCheers!âÂ
You both down them at the same speed, slamming the empty glasses back onto the countertop with laughter that bounces off the walls and threatens to drown out the music. And for a second you think maybe you can actually do this.
âIâm so happy youâre here!â She squeals, throwing her arms around your neck, doing a terrible job of holding her weight up. Grabbing onto her waist, you do your best to steady her, âLook I just want to say while heâs gone, I know this isnât easy for you, okay? I know.â
She hiccups before pulling away slightly to look at you as she finishes,âBut It means so much to me, and I just wanna say Iâm proud of you. I mean, who knows, youâve changed, heâs changed-â
âNope, no, youâre done. Whereâs the weed? I wanna smoke some weed.â You push Robin away, rolling your eyes at the loud laugh your reaction gets from her.
Thereâs a long summer ahead of you, but right now, all you need is to find a joint and try not to think about your ex in the next room.
With a few more shots and a couple of hits from a blunt you and Robin youâd stumbled upon being passed amongst a group outside, you start to really feel like youâre back home. Nostalgia hits you hard in the gut as you walk through the crowded living room hand in hand with your best friend, giggling and stumbling back to the kitchen on the hunt for some food.Â
âGod, Iâm so hungry!â Robin practically growls when you hit the harsh lighting again making you both hiss.
An empty bottle of tequila sits on the counter now and red solo cups litter the floor that werenât there before, and a growing pile of bitten into limes cover the counters in a sticky mess. Alone and left to your own devices Robin begins to raid the cupboards, huffing when she finds nothing behind every door she aggressively yanks open.
âWhy is his kitchen always so empty? Like? Do we just always miss the party?â You hiccup, tripping on a tile thatâs coming out of the grout.Â
You catch yourself on the kitchen island in front of you, a loud laugh bubbling up from your chest, too drunk to focus on how gross the formica feels under your fingertips.
âThereâs literally nothing to eat in here, not even like an old bag of stale chips.â She opens the first cabinet one last time before slamming it shut, officially giving up with a thump of her forehead against the wood. âThis is why heâs always at the diner.â
âWait, Rick actually lives here still?â Another hiccup, you foolishly lean your elbows on the counter, something youâll regret in the morning as you stare at your best friend with a toothy smile, completely unaffected by the news about the missing food that seems to be ruining her entire mood.
âHow can he sell weed and not have any food in his house? What happens when he gets the munchies?!â She throws her hands up, ignoring your question and answering it all at the same time. âIâm gonna find a bathroom, and then weâre gonna find Steve - donât make that face, heâll take us through a drive-thru.â
âDonât be gone long, I donât know anyone here!â You whine with a childish drunk stomp of your foot, still sporting that sour look she told you to wipe off. The carefree girl from moments before now gone in the blink of an eye.
âLiterally like five minutes, I swear!â She promises, turning around with a smirk as she crosses her heart with a ring covered finger like you used to do as kids, easily earning the smile from you she was hoping for.
You watch her disappear into the party, staring after bouncing honey waves until theyâre out of your sight.Â
Suddenly alone for the first time in hours, the kitchen feels quiet. The bass of the music is distant, and your thoughts are heavy just like your feet as your last shot of tequila settles with the rest. Your brain wanders to places that you thought youâd banished from the corners of your mind for years. It takes you to the pink fullness of his lips, and has you biting the bottom of yours. Then itâs the freckles that dot the bridge of his nose and explode across his cheeks, even leaving their mark on the bottom of his earlobe.
Youâd found that one the night youâd tried to count them all. You never finished.
Then you remember the blond on the couch, and how her pink nails dug into the thick chestnut of his hair that you used to tug on when his kisses got to be too much. She turns into Nancy Wheeler and those stolen looks in the hallways at school, and suddenly, you hate him all over again.
âJesus, youâre in here alone? Whereâs Robin?â Steveâs voice makes you jump at the worst possible time, âSorry, I didnât mean to scar-â
âSeriously?!â You snap, turning around with crossed arms. Leaning against the counter, you hope that you donât seem as drunk as you are, but the way his lips twitch regardless of your attitude tells you that itâs not working. âShe went to the bathroom and then was going to look for you.â
âSo, it just makes sense for me to hang out here then, right?âSteve raises his hands in a silent plea for permission.Â
His big boots take heavy steps towards you, and just like on cue, has your body betraying you. The plush dough of your thighs pressing harder together each time he gets closer to closing the gap.Â
Cautiously taking the spot a few feet away from you, he keeps his hands up till he feels safe enough to shove them in his pockets. The spice of his cologne smells fresh, and you wonder if he sprayed it before walking in here. It overpowers everything else around you, invading your senses and committing itself to memory despite you.
âI um, I really hope this is okay to say,â he stammers watching the way one of your eyebrows arches up, and it doesnât take long for his hand to escape from his pocket to run through his hair again, âbut itâs, itâs good to see you. I m-missed you, Robinâs missed you.â
âShouldnât you be hanging out with your girlfriend?â You ignore him and tuck his words away to unpack another time with a sober mind.
âCassie? Sheâs not my girlfriend.â He answers without any hesitation, something sparking alive inside the gold of his eyes that has one side of his mouth tugging up.Â
âDoes she know that?âÂ
âIâm pretty sure she does considering she left with another guy not that long ago.â He snorts, the confidence youâve always known him to have finding its way back, and you donât miss the way he scoots closer.Â
So you scoot back.
âSucks to suck, Harrington.â You sigh, impressed with how well youâre playing off the victory lap youâre shamefully running in your head at the new information.
âThere you are!â Robin rushes in, face flushed and out of breath, interrupting the moment you werenât ready to have yet at the perfect time âSomehow I got roped into like a keg stand and I think itâs really time for us to go home guys.â
âRobin!âÂ
âWhat?!â
She tries to shush you, but even you can see from across the room the way sweat starts to bead across her forehead, the blush in her cheeks going pale before she runs to the trash can. Steve pushes off the island without any hesitation, rushing to the other side of the kitchen, gathering her hair in his hands to hold it back.
âWhat were you thinking?â Steve scolds her in the softest way possible, rubbing her back as all the beer finds its way out of her body. Â
Those big eyes of his that youâre sure are going to haunt your dreams meet yours, and in that moment the room decides it wants to spin. Youâre not sure if itâs the night of tequila with nothing but a weed chaser catching up to you or if itâs the onslaught of feelings youâve successfully suppressed for the last five years coming back to seek their revenge. The deadly combination of both comes to a head the more you watch the gentle way Steve handles Robin and it makes you realize itâs time to go.
You manage to pull yourself together enough to help Steve get Robin in his car, heart almost stopping when you walk up to the same Maroon BMW he took your virginity in. It takes everything inside of you not to abort the mission, run to Robinâs apartment by figuring your way through the woods you used to play in, do anything but sit in those leather seats. But your best friendâs drunk rambles of how happy she is to have her âtwo amigos and how that it makes three nowâ while professing her undying love for both of you has you putting on a brave face, and then your big girl pants when you have to sit in the front seat next to him.
Itâs in perfect condition, just like the morning he pulled into the parking lot Junior year with it. Your stomach twists in the kind of knots that have you wrapping your arms around your waist. The smell of leather and pine pulling on the back of your throat, and all the memories that come with it. He keeps the radio low, and you can hardly make out the faint sounds of whatever late night talk show was on over the soft snores of a passed out Robin in the backseat.Â
âI thought youâd have a different car by now.â You grumble sinking further into your seat, keeping your eyes trained on the trees that zoom past your window.
âYouâll have to pry her from my cold, dead hands, honey.â Steve chuckles, relaxing a little more into his own, a big hand finding a new resting spot on the stick shift.
The endearment sends you reeling, the tequila making it hard to bite your tongue.
âDonât call me that.â Quickly realizing that staring out the window does nothing to help your already dicey equilibrium, you decide to finally look at him, but youâre not sure if thatâs any better.
âWhat? Honey?â He asks, fully knowing the answer but egging you on just the same with a ghost of a smirk on his lips.
Narrowing your eyes, you turn fully in your seat doing your best to ignore the way the street lights bounce off his sharp features as you face him.
âWhat? So you just make out with girls that youâre not dating and get away with it?âÂ
Steve snorts, licking his lips and meeting your angry gaze with an amused one.Â
âI am twenty-four and single.â
Scoffing at his answer, you pause to collect your words that keep getting tangled on the tip of your tongue from too many drinks and how the whites of his teeth start to show in a grin as he glances in the rearview mirror to check on Robin.
âYou think you can do whatever you want donât you?â
âNo -â
âWhat? Because you didnât peak in high school like you were supposed to, you somehow just got hotter, you think the rules donât apply to you or something?â
âGood to know you still think Iâm hot.â Steveâs face cracks into a smile, turning into an apartment complex youâre assuming is Robinâs.Â
âYouâre the worst,â you try to deflect weakly, turning back in your seat with a huff.
âI definitely used to be,â he mumbles mostly to himself, putting the car in park, both of you jerking forward slightly. The sudden lack of movement makes Robin groan in the back, lashes fluttering open to look at her surroundings.
âOh, thank god, I think Iâm gonna be sick again.â Her throat sounds hoarse when she finally speaks, but itâs all she can manage before a dry heave has the boy next to you scrambling.
âNot in my car! Not in my car!â Steveâs quick to jump out of the driver's seat rushing to get your best friend out of the back, leaving you alone to fight with your seatbelt.Â
Frustrated, you blow a breath out from between your pressed lips tugging on the smooth material while your thumb smashes the release button. It doesnât budge and the cedar starts to pick at your nerves. An angry noise squeaks from the back of your throat catching Steveâs attention who finally gets Robin on her feet. The spice of his cologne swallows you whole when he emerges back into the car. Leaning over the console heâs gentle when he pushes your hand away. You donât protest his help this time, eyes tracing the gold chain that slips out from under his shirt. It shimmers everytime it swings from his neck when it hits the moonlight, clicking the button with ease, releasing you from your self imposed trap.
âThanks,â you grumble, using a wobbling arm to open your door, clambering out less gracefully than you intended.
âAre you good to follow me? I donât think Robinâs gonna make it up the steps on her own.â Closing the car door, he leans over the top of it, his eyes watching the way you maneuver around his car like youâre walking on thin ice.
âIâm fine,â you growl, right as you lose your footing catching yourself with an open palm on the hood of his trunk.
âSeriously, I can help I just have to take you both one at a -â
âSteve, I said Iâm fine. I donât need anything from you.â You interrupt and if you werenât so focused on putting one foot in front of the other, youâd see the way the harshness of your words make him wince.
He stares at you for a minute longer before muttering a quiet âwhateverâ scooping Robin up and tucking her into his side. You follow them at your own pace up the cement steps to the second floor, thankful that her apartment isnât too far from the landing when you get to the top. Your legs start to feel like Jell-O waiting for him to unlock the door, the long drive from New York and the night finally catching up to you in a way that makes your eyelids heavy as Steve pushes open her front door.Â
âBathroom! Bathroom!â Robin manages to get out when she and Steve cross the threshold first, a string of cuss words spilling out of his mouth as he tries to hurry her to the place she was begging to be taken to.
You use the full force of your weight with your back to the door, closing behind you with a loud slam. The navy blue couch in the middle of her living room begging you to sit down, an invitation your clumsy steps accept, leading you to the fluffy cushions. Collapsing onto them with a satisfied hum, you sink into the foam, lashes fluttering and eyelids getting heavier with each second that passes, and soon you find yourself giving in with a warm cheek pressed into the arm rest.
You donât know how much time has passed when the feeling of your laces being tugged loose stirs you awake. Trying to focus with vision still blurry from sleep, Steveâs messy head of hair comes clear into your line of sight. Long fingers pull the white strings from the metal eyelets of your converse, a warm palm wrapping around your ankle that sends a shiver up your spine as he slowly wiggles your sneaker off your foot. The white tube socks that cover your feet make him smile with a thumb that dares to rub a small circle on your skin before dropping it to work on the other.
âSteve,â you manage to get out, voice still thick with sleep.
âIâm just tucking you in, thatâs all hon- and then Iâll get out of your hair.â He clears his throat after the nickname that set you off earlier burns like acid dying on his tongue.
You grumble something unintelligible, rubbing the mascara off your eyes as he pulls your other shoe off the pad of his thumb doing the same thing to your other ankle making your toes curl. Both his hands find their way to your calves squeezing softly at the muscles before he starts to lift them up.
âCome on, let's get you laying on your side.â He coos, helping you adjust so youâre finally horizontal. You groan a little, reaching out for him on instinct, the softness of his touch making a very drunk you crave more.Â
âIâd love to cuddle but I think youâd actually kill me in the morning,â he laughs to himself knowing you wonât remember any of this when you wake up.
You make some more noises that he canât figure out if they're supposed to be words or not as he drapes Robinâs thick throw blanket over you. Grabbing the material in your fists when you feel it, you pull it even closer, a low satisfied hum spilling from between your lips that still sparkle with leftover glitter from your gloss. He watches the way you curl into yourself, fingers twitching at his side to run his knuckles over your cheek.
âSteve,â his name comes out clear as day, kicking up his heart rate.
âYeah?â He squats down next to your face, the warmth of your breath hitting his face while your eyebrows furrow in your sleepy state trying to get whatever you want to say out.
âYou really broke my heart, you know that?â
Your words punch the air out of his lungs, just like your unexpected arrival. Something heâs fantasized about happening more times than heâd like to admit.
âYeah, I know.â He sighs defeated, giving into his urges for comfort with knuckles that brush against the warmth of your skin, a familiar burn stings his eyes when you subconsciously lean into it.Â
You donât say anything else to him, the furrow of your brows smoothing out as your face finally starts to relax under his touch. He watches the way your shoulders move with each deep breath that pulls you further into sleep and away from him.Â
He takes a selfish minute to stare at you uninterrupted, tracing your cheekbone one last time before he stands up to leave, he knows he wonât get any sleep, and the words you wonât remember saying are already haunting him like a bad dream.
âDo you really wanna love me like you say you do? Give it to me like you say you do? Cause itâs hard enough you gotta treat me like this, lonely enough to let you treat me like this. Do you really love me?â
Steve was late, glancing down at pink the digital watch on your wrist, fifteen minutes late. Five lockers down from his, you wait for him at whatâs been your meeting spot for the last eight months. Far away enough from his locker that no one would suspect you waiting for the King of Hawkins himself, but close enough to the janitor's closet for him to steal you away from sight without anyone noticing for the forty-five minutes of study hall.Â
Hushed argumentative whispers catch your attention, nerves making your feet move from side to side unsure if you should abandon ship and just go and study for the final in your last period. Nancy Wheeler's eyes meet yours as she rounds the corner with her best friend Barb, the corners of her lips pulling up ever so slightly giving you a small wave which you return as she tries to ignore her friend.
âHeâs just trying to get in your pants! Come on, you have to be smart enough to know that.â Barb points at the note Nancy is clutching in her hand so hard that the whites of her knuckles show.
âItâs not like that, Iâm just tutoring him.â She argues but the blush that creeps across her cheeks and spreads down her neck gives her away.
Iâm just tutoring him.
That simple sentence is enough for your world to tip off its axis, chest tightening at the realization of who they're arguing about. All the canceled plans the past few weeks with the excuse of extra tutoring starts to feel like a knife to the gut. Prince Charming rounds the corner holding and twists the handle with a bright flirtatious smile that used to be just for you, only now itâs flashed at the dainty brunette who melts under it because no one is immune to Steve Harrington.Â
It takes him a minute to see you, too wrapped up in Nancy whoâs back is pressed to the lockers, caged in by Steveâs big hand splayed against the metal by her head. Theyâre too far to hear what heâs saying to her, but the confident way his teeth flash and the sweet giggle he earns from it tells you everything you need to know. Tears burn at the corners of your eyes, but you donât want to give him the satisfaction of seeing them fall. Fists clenched at your sides, the blunt ends of your nails dig into your palms as you hold in the sob that threatens to give you away as you walk past them, meeting his guilty eyes before you round the corner. Â
The pounding in your head wakes you up before the sun that leaks through Robinâs small kitchen window. Your hangover rings in your ears with a vengeance, and has you letting out a pained groan. Everything after the joint you shared outside at the party is nothing but a blur, a scattered puzzle with pieces missing as you try and figure out how you ended up back home and tucked into the couch.Â
âAre you alive out there?â Robinâs voice calls out weakly from down the hall in her room.Â
âBarely,â you grumble, agitation kicking in from dehydration and the old wounds your dream decided to rip open.
âIâd say Iâm never drinking again but we both know thatâs a lie,â she says, muffled by what sounds like a pillow.
A giggle tries to escape, but it only makes you wince, clutching your forehead willing the pain to subside.
âHowâd we even get home?â You croak, rubbing harshly at your eyes before attempting to sit up, covering them with a cupped palm as your surroundings get brighter.
âSteve,â Robinâs voice comes out right next to you, surprising you by appearing in the entryway.Â
Hearing his name out loud sends the kind of rage that scorches through your veins, it burns from your fingertips remembering the look on his face when you broke up a few weeks after that day in the hallway your dreams so sweetly reminded you of.Â
It was Pity.
Your best friend ignores your silence and the sour look on your face as you silently take a trip down memory lane while she shuffles into the living room wandering to the attached kitchen.Â
âHow far is Eddieâs shop from here?â You grimace watching her chug from a carton of orange juice.
âOh, super close. You can walk from here.â She answers, wiping her upper lip with the back of your hand, âthey opened like two hours ago, Iâm sure heâs already looked at your car.â
âI think Iâm going to shower and go over, do you want to come with me?â Raising your hands above your head, you stretch your sore muscles as a yawn comes out in the middle of your question.
âI think I need to rot in bed for a little while longer before I go walk amongst the living, I promise Iâm all yours after I donât feel like a freaking crypt keeper.â Your yawn is contagious, giving you a view of all her perfectly straight teeth.
âI demand something greasy for lunch when I get back then.â You point at her finding your footing on the carpet, noticing your converse are tucked nice and neat against the couch next to you. The feeling of Steveâs knuckles is a ghost against your skin, details starting to come out clear from the murky waters.Â
Heat rushes to your cheek at the memory while your emotions start to go at war with each other over what to feel towards the man who tucked you and your best friend in last night, but also broke your heart in a way you donât think youâll ever quite forget.Â
âIâm on it boss, god, I wish Bennyâs was still open.â Robin interrupts the inner struggle sheâs oblivious to you having as she walks past you flinging herself on the couch youâd just won the battle of leaving âBut Iâll think of something good, I promise.â
Just like your yawn, the smile she gives you is contagious despite the sharp pain you get in your head from moving too much and you both laugh wincing when it only gets worse.Â
Ibuprofen first, then your car.
Birds chirp loudly, mocking the headache that's turned into something more annoying than painful after a handful of ibuprofen. The sticky air is still suffocating even in a pair of black biker shorts and an oversized loose fitting tee, while the sun shines golden against the cerulean sky without a cloud in sight to hide you from its light.Â
The heat warming off its rays makes beads of sweat start to collect at the crown of your head and the nape of your neck, while the incline Eddieâs spinning auto body sign sits on top of threatens to take your breath away. Unwanted thoughts of Steve Harrington keep your pace quick, stewing over the last twenty-four hours and everything itâs unraveled.
The small parking lot is empty when you reach it, kicking small rocks with the toe of your sneaker as you cross it. The double garage doors are open, Metallicaâs Seek and Destroy echoing loudly, tugging up the corners of your lips. Your Chevrolet Caprice is the only car semi-lifted in the air with a pair navy coverall-clad legs underneath it.
Opening your mouth, Eddieâs name dies on your tongue before you get a chance to shout it, clocking him and his wild curls sitting in the glass office inside. Those big brown eyes meet yours from across the way, a dimple filled grin lighting up his face waving excitedly from his chair before standing up.
âGlad to see youâre alive, princess.â He teases stepping out of his glass case, with coveralls that are gray today.
âHonestly, itâs a miracle,â you laugh, confused eyes darting to the large boots under your car that donât seem to have any reaction to the sound of your voice.
âOh, I heard all about your first night back home. In fact my shop opened thirty minutes late because of it,â he chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the open metal frame where the door should be. Faded bats that you remember when they were fresh dancing across his arm with his movements.
âWait, what?â You ask, confusion pinching your brows together right as the mysterious pair of legs start pushing out whoeverâs under your car.
âI didnât get back to my place till almost four in the morning after getting you two home and in bed,â Steve emerges flashing you his million dollar smile as he sits up on the dolly, the sleeves of his own coveralls tied tight around his waist and hair wild like heâd just rolled out of bed, âI slept through my alarm.â
The immediate glare that hardens your face when you see him has Eddie's eyes light with obvious amusement.Â
âWhat are you doing here? And why are you touching my car?â You snap, trying to push the worries about what you look like deep under the irritation and the distraction that begs to steal your anger with his arms on full display like this. Or how the patch of chest hair that peeks out the top of it shines with sweat.Â
âI work here,â Steve snorts like itâs the most obvious conclusion, because, well, it is, âand I volunteered to look at it, Eddieâs got his hands full.âÂ
That was a lie, he begged him.
âSince when do you know anything about cars?â Snorting, your attitude makes him roll his eyes, pushing himself off the ground.
Itâs a struggle to hold his gaze when he stands at full height, biceps flexing with his movements practically daring you to look. He pulls out a faded maroon rag from his pocket and starts wiping off the fresh black from his hands thatâs already stained under his nail beds. The hard bottoms of his work boots making their way across the cement floors of the garage.Â
âThereâs a lot you donât know about me anymore, thatâs what happens when someone leaves for five years.â Steve antagonizes, his lack of sleep leaving him with thin patience.
He stops just close enough for you to smell how the woodsy spice of his cologne mixes with the sweet bitterness of the oil that seems to find a way to leave its mark on every surface in here. Including him.
âIâm going to finish balancing the books, why donât you tell her the good news first and then the bad,â Eddie pours ice over the tension that threatens to boil over before it can turn hostile, catching the way both of your nostrils flare and shoulders square up.
âWait, thereâs good news and bad news?â Your focus on Steve shifts as Eddieâs words sink in.
âLike I said, Iâm going to finish balancing the books.â The metal head reminds you, giving a half salute with two fingers while simultaneously shooting a stern look to Steve whoâs mouthing something behind you. âYour mechanicâs going to go over everything with you, we can talk about pricing when itâs all said and done.â
âSeriously?â You bluster as Eddie shrugs with the kind of nonchalance that sends you reeling before sitting back down, tuning the dial-up on the radio in his office. End of discussion.
âLook -â
âHow do I even know that you know what youâre talking about?â You interrupt, making his full lips set into a straight line.
âAre you going to be like this the whole time?â Steve sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before crossing his arms, the tops of his shoulders moving with them.Â
A pleading expression softens his features instead of the hard combative one you were anticipating, and it helps your blood pressure return to normal. The realization hitting you that maybe skipping breakfast with a hangover probably wasnât your smartest idea.
âN-no, sorry, I just feel like -â
âShit? Yeah, I bet.â He chuckles, and your jaw clicks. Maybe if you count to threeâŠ
âJust tell me whatâs wrong with my car, Steve.â It comes out clipped, but it's an improvement from your fingers twitching to rip that handsome head right off those shoulders that wonât stop trying to distract you.
âHow about you tell me the last time you had your oil changed?â He counters, taking a few steps back to sit on the hood of the rusted baby blue Buick behind him.Â
âUhh, I- I think,â All the blood rushes to your cheeks, warming your skin as you try to wrack your brain and not focus on the way his legs spread wide to keep his balance. âMaybe, like, six months ago.â
âSix months?!â The number must be worse than whatever Steve was preparing for when a dirty hand runs through his hair, âand then you drove it three states to get here?â
âYeah, I - I mean, hearing you say it out loud,â you grimace thinking of all the weeks you ignored that flashing orange light on your dashboard.
âSo then you shouldnât be surprised when I tell you that your engine locked up.âÂ
âIs this the bad news?âÂ
âKind of,â
âWhat do you mean kind of?â
âLook, the good news is that I can fix it, the bad news is that I have to order a few parts that could take up to three weeks to get here, then the job itself is going to take me probably another week.â He sighs standing up, starting back towards your car with you quick on his heels.
âThatâs the whole summer!â You argue like it could possibly make a difference, frustration pricking at the corners of your eyes watching him pop open the hood.
âMore like half of it, but hey, youâre lucky I can even get it running again without having to replace the whole thing.â He meets your gaze from under his lashes leaning over the engine, long nimble fingers unscrewing the cap where your oil should go.
âSo what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get around?â You know that part isnât his problem, this entire mess is your own doing but it doesnât stop it coming out in a whine. You blame your hangover.
âYouâre gonna be just fine, city girl,â Steve grins up at you before reaching even further under the hood, muscles flexing with him, âbesides we both know I canât say no to Robin.â
He pulls at a small tube thatâs purpose is unknown to you but you keep eyes trained on his movements like you have an idea, anything to keep the focus off the gold chain that dangles from his neck.Â
âOr you.â The last part comes out so quiet, a focused look pinching his brows together as he continues his investigation.
âMe?âÂ
He doesnât look at you when he shrugs, pulling at something with a little more force that makes you both flinch.Â
âHow much is this going to cost me, Steve?â Your defeat shows in your tone, as the question slips quietly from between your lips that you wish youâd have put gloss on now.
He grunts at the same time something pops against metal under his hands, muttering a string of curse words under his breath before standing back up wiping his palms on the white cotton of his tank top. Charcoal stains fill the small grooves in the fabric with each swipe of his hands, pulling the collar further down every time. Itâs a losing battle not to look at his chest when every motion reveals more of the thick curls underneath.Â
Steve clears his throat, letting you know that youâve been caught and itâs at this moment you wish you could walk in front of the moving truck that drives loudly past the shop, only exaggerating the silence that follows.
âDonât stress about that today,â he smiles, letting you off the hook for now, something mischievous dancing in his eyes for another time. âLike Eddie said, weâll figure it out.â
âDonât stress about it?! Have you met me?â You huff, the money youâve saved up for the summer starting to dwindle right before your eyes.Â
âI have actually,â Steve chuckles, stepping close enough for the tips of your shoes to touch his boots. He feels bold when you donât make any attempt to move away like at the party or retreat when he closes the gap. A thumb and forefinger finding their way to your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze, âand youâre going to be fine, I promise.â
Your lips part on their own, the full force of his face from this close stealing the breath from your lungs. You can smell the coffee he had this morning and the mint from his toothpaste still lingering on his breath. The stubble that lines his sharp jaw is even more noticeable today, tapering off at the top of his neck making the cluster of moles that live there stand out even more. A pink tongue runs over his full bottom lip and it has your lashes fluttering against the tops of your cheeks.
âNow go get some food, grumpy,â his voice comes out low, a teasing edge to it that reminds you of what itâs like to have Steve Harrington flirt with you. âIâll call when I get the parts, okay?â
Itâs like detention junior year all over again as you turn into putty in his hand. Still too attractive for his own good, all you can do is nod while all the fight you had left inside you disappears as the pad of his thumb swipes soft against your heated skin just under your pouted lip before letting you go. He turns on his heel after that, walking back to the box of tools he has spread out over his workbench before adding,
âDo me a favor and tell Robin she owes me a new shirt.â
betaâd by @sweetsweetjellybean
đ» chapter two
#my writing#steve harrington#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader smut#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington x y/n
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warm me up
A/N: the voices won this round! @strang3lov3 & @speckledemerald also, this was my first time writing game!joel đ this could also be show!joel if that's what you're into! This fic really got away from me today and I didn't think it would be nearly as long as I planned it to be..but that's just sometimes how things work out đ huge thank u to Bug for making me this cute lil mood board and I LOVE the deers!!đ€
~word count: 3.3k~
Summary: while on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.
Pairing I game!joel miller x f!reader
Warnings: smut (explicit & implicit) enemies to lovers, implied age gap (non-specific) consent, cock warming, one sleeping bag trope, close proximity, using one's body warmth for survival, denial of feelings, mean!joel, grumpy!joel, reader is a spitfire and gets under Joel's skin easily, joel has a big cock! He is a big big man! teasing, banter, sexual tension, fluff, foul language, pet names: (darlin, sweetheart, and princess) reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING!
Joel is freezing, shaking like a goddamn leaf. Itâs ironic, given his disposition. You should have tried to retrace your steps back to Jackson hours ago, but the winter was unforgiving, and the two of you have found yourselves in a real pickle; a frozen one.
âI told you that we were going to end up getting lost out here, Joel.â You grumble alongside him with your arms crossed over your chest. Your teeth are chattering, and itâs grinding his gears.
âWe ainât fuckinâ lost, sweetheart.â He gruffs back and adjusts his rifle strap along his shoulder. âI know where Iâm goin.ââ
You scoff at this because if he did know where he was going, you wouldnât be fucking lost in a fucking blizzard right now!
âRight. Iâm sure you do know where youâre going, Joel.â You mutter sarcastically under your breath.
He whips around to face you, cheeks speckled in red from the cold and even in the lowlight, you can see individual snowflakes sticking to his lashes.
âAlright, miss âI know everything.â Which way do you think we should go?â He awaits your answer with a cocked brow and his lips pursed together. Theyâre severely cracked and on the verge of bleeding from the bitter cold.
âNot the direction weâre currently headed, thatâs for damn sure! Letâs just fucking turn around and retrace our steps.â You bite back and watch the way that his jaw ticks from your tone. God, youâre a real thorn in this manâs side.
âRetrace our steps?â He laughs, shaking his head to the side and sucks in a harsh cold breath of air into his lungs. âThe snow has covered up our tracks, you idiot.â Heâs so fucking condescending, and youâve just about had enough with his shit attitude for one day. Your blood is positively boiling under your thick layer of clothes, and youâd much rather succumb to Mother Nature and her wrath than spend another minute with this insufferable, annoying, mean, and painfully handsome man.
âFuck you, Joel. Iâm retracing my steps whether you have a say in it or not!â You snap and turn on your heel before you feel a rough, gloved-clad hand grasp your upper arm and yank you back towards a hard and very solid presence at your back.
âQuit your fuckinâ yappin!ââ He barks against the shell of your ear. His voice is rasped, crackling like a roaring fire. âYou ainât goinâ anywhere without me, you got that?!â His grip around your arm only tightens when you tried to shove him away, but heâs built like a fucking steel fridge, and youâre no match for him.
âThen stop being a fucking asshole, Joel! Iâd rather freeze to death out here than spend another minute with you!â
You mean every word. Well, you think that you do.
He sneers at your attempt to wound him with your words, as if a man with a heart made out of pure concrete can possibly be affected by the means of your figurative little daggers. They ricochet off his body and fall to the snow, disappearing under a sheet of white. âI wouldnât have to be an asshole if you would just fuckinâ listen for once in your life! God, when we get back, and we will, Iâm tellinâ Tommy that I ainât ever goinâ on patrol with your ass again.â
His steel-like grip loosens when you donât immediately bite back like he expects you too. He wants you to fight back, to call him names and send his own blood boiling because at least then he feels alive.
âFine. Weâll do it your way.â You nearly whisper and bite down on the inside of your cheek, tasting harsh copper on your tongue.
âFine.â He agrees and finally releases your arm. âWeâre gonna wait out this damn storm for the night, and then tomorrow weâll retrace our steps home. Who knows, sweetheart. Tommy might have already sent out a search party for us.â
âLetâs fucking hope thatâs the case. The sooner this storm lets up, the better.â You think youâre going to cry, but you push your tears down as far as you possibly can. You have to conserve your energy, after all. Besides, Joel Miller isnât worth your precious tears. Not even close.
He begins to survey the surrounding area. The woods offered some reliable cover with the thick evergreens acting as a shield from the treacherous wind. The snow is still falling in large flakes, but he might be able to get a fire going if heâs lucky.
âWe should..probably yâknow, share a sleepinâ bag for extra heat.â He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, feeling kinda silly in the moment because what did he have to be nervous for? His reasoning for sharing warmth was logical. It was just his survival instincts kicking in, right?
You, on the other hand, were unfazed by his request. Sure, it made perfect sense to share body heat with this man. Why the hell did he look so distraught over it - weirdo.
âDid Bear Grylls teach you that, Miller?â You look at him with a smirk playing on your lips. âIf thatâs the case, then we should probably sleep naked.â
That feeling that had laid dormant for so long, was beginning to reawaken and defrost at the thought of your warm, pliant, soft body being tucked up around him in close proximity. You were annoying, sure, and he could hardly tolerate your presence, but he couldnât deny that you were a thing of beauty, and neither could his cock.
âNo. Some reality TV star didnât teach me the survival skills that I know, sweetheart. Iâm jusâ that good.â He sounds cocky, full of himself and perhaps thereâs a bit of eagerness detected in his tone? Maybe the dead giveaway is the way his cheeks flush, and this time it isnât because of the cold.
You shrug and drop your pack and sleeping bag at your boots. âWhatever you say, Joel.â
He clears his throat and drops his hand from where it was resting against the back of his neck. He stares at you for a second longer than he would have liked to, and then announces that heâs going to go find some wood for a fire, and for you to stay put.
You wave him off and unroll your sleeping bag with a huff and begin to mentally question how the hell is this grizzly of a man going to fit inside of your sleeping bag? Oh well! Time to defy all the odds that have been stacked against you.
When Joel returns, he finds you already tucked away under the sleeping bag with your clothes neatly folded on top of your backpack. He managed to find a few fallen tree branches that would make good kindling, and some thicker logs for the base of the fire.
He avoids making direct eye contact with you as he crouches down and constructs a fire that he hopes to god will keep the two of you warm throughout the cold night ahead.
You already have taken notice of his suddenly quiet and almost docile demeanor with just your head visible and peeking out of the sleeping bag
âAre you sure that fire is going to last the night, Joel?â
His shoulders and back immediately tense from your question and you can already picture him clenching his jaw and muttering under his breath.
âAinât no tellinâ if it will last the night, sweetheart.â He stokes at the ember glowing logs with the end of a spare stick before looking over his shoulder at you. âYâcomfy in there?â His voice rasps, dipping down an octave and sounding much, much, lower.
âYep.â You chirp. âNice and cozy in here, Joel. Did I mention itâs very, very warm?â
He snorts under his breath, tearing his gaze away from you and focuses back on the fire. âYeah. I bet it is.â
What you really want to say is: and it would be even warmer if you were here with me. But you refrain, and instead bury your face further into the contained warmth emitting from the sleeping bag.
Joel is hesitating, and that part couldnât be anymore obvious based on his tense stature. Maybe he could just accept losing feeling in his fingers and toes instead of crossing that boundary with you. Or, he could man up and deal with the immediate feelings that would come as soon as his hands would inevitably touch your warm skin.
âJoel?â
Your voice tears him away from his thoughts briefly. âHm?â
âArenât you..cold?â
Freezing. My cock and balls are about to fuckinâ fall off.
âMâfine.â He insists.
âSo goddamn stubborn.â He hears you mutter under your breath followed by the sound of the sleeping bag zipper being pulled down. âGet in here before you freeze to death. Iâm serious, Joel.â
âFuck off. I said mâfine.â He grumbles and turns over his shoulder to look at you once more. His eyes catch a sliver of skin, a nipple peeking out from under the fabric as you were sitting up. His head whips around so fast he swears that his brain just got rattled around in his skull.
âWould you just be a fucking man and take your clothes off and get in here?â
So impatient, he thinks.
âYou jusâ wanna see me naked.â He quips back.
âFor fuck sakes, Joel. I just donât want you to freeze out here. Is that so hard to believe?â
Yes.
âJusâ..donât peek. Alright?â He slowly stands up from his place alongside the fire as he starts to shuck his heavy coat off his shoulders.
âFine. I wonât peek, okay? Scouts honor.â You promise him and bring your hand over your eyes to cover them.
Heâs grumbling to himself the whole time as he begins to undress. He bitches about the cold, his cock, and his nearly frozen toes as you listen quietly to the sound of his belt buckle being undone. He does not fold his clothes neatly like you did and instead they are left in a pile near the fire. He dashes for your sleeping bag, yanking the zipper down in a fury and climbs inside.
Itâs a tight fit indeed with barely any room for him to squeeze in but he makes it work.
âFuck!â His yell is muffled as he struggles to make himself comfortable in what little space he has. âFuckinâ cannot believe I actually listened to you.â He rubs his hands together, blowing hot air between them.
âOh, shut up, you big baby.â You stifle a laugh which earns you a displeased glare. âWe wouldnât be in this mess if you just would haveââ
âDo not start with me, sweetheart. Donât you fuckinâ dare.â His brows furrow and his jaw is clenched so tightly, youâre shocked that it hasnât shattered.
âYouâre all bark and no bite, Joel.â You mutter back and roll over onto your side so your back is facing him. You close your eyes and fully intend to get some much needed and deserved sleep, but the man beside you is squirming and making a big fuss.
âDarlinâ I know you ainât want anythinâ to do with a man like me, but it was your idea for us to get naked under here..so all Iâm askinâ isââ
âJust do whatever it is you need to do, Joel. Can you just be quiet about it? All I want to do right now is sleep, and your fussing about is making that really fucking difficult for me to achieve.â You snap.
âAre you givinâ me permission, sweetheart? Cusâ the last thing I want is for you to bite my damn fingers off if I touch you. So as long as itâs alright with you..â he trails off and you take matters into your own hands by reaching behind you and finding his cold hands and yanking them around your body. You couldnât help but yelp from the stark difference of temperature from your body heat to his hands.
âYouâre fucking freezing, Joel.â You state the obvious and he rolls his eyes.
âYeah, no shit, Sherlock. I didnât exactly have time to warm them up, sweetheart. My apologies that my hands arenât at the right temperature for ya.â You think you hear him snicker under his breath, but maybe itâs just his close proximity that makes you hear things.
âWhatever. Itâs fine.â You reassure him.
His hands are big, huge, and the skin on his palms and fingers are rough. The feeling overall is quite pleasant, and soon enough his hands donât feel like an ice block - quite the opposite actually.
He grunts softly as attempts to make himself comfortable without pressing himself into your back. Itâs proving to be a challenge as it is, and he has this feeling deep in the pit of his stomach, that this challenge is going to get the best of him.
âWhatâs wrong now, Joel?â You try to ignore the way his thumbs are gently stroking the space between the curve of your breasts and under your rib cage, and how his touch on your skin is beginning to light a fire in your belly, and between your thighs. His touch is gentle and itâs making your head spin with need and desire.
âI jusââI donât wanna make yâfeel uncomfortable sâall.â He admits, voice rasping deeply. âIâm fuckinâ freezinâ, darlinâ but I donât wannaââ
âJust shut up and stick your dick in me, Joel. Youâll be warmer then.â You surprise both yourself and him.
His meaty palms squeeze you gently, fingertips kneading the flesh as he inhales a shaky, yet audible breath. The tight confines of your shared sleeping bag suddenly feel ten times tighter, and hotter. Itâs suffocating in a delicious sense that you and Joel are stuck here together in this rather..unfortunate situation. You hate him, and he hates you, yet the thought of his thick cock nestling between your thighs sounds like absolute heaven on a plate right now.
Joel thinks heâs on the verge of passing out from your vulgar statement. Itâs been god knows how long since heâs felt the warmth of a womanâs body around his cock. Itâs been too goddamn long, he thinks.
â..well, if youâre askin.ââ He whispers as his hands maneuver your body to press back against him. One strong arm anchors itself around your waist, engaging you in a warm hold when you feel his hard, broad chest pressing against your back. You havenât even seen his cock, yet you already can tell that heâs big. The word big might not even be able to describe the massive size that is Joel Miller.
âThis doesnât mean anything. Right, Joel?â You ask through the thick growing tension that coils itself around you and the burly man beside you like a snake.
âDoesnât mean nothinâ at all, sweetheart. Jusâ sharinâ body heat for survival, like you said.â He rasps and blows a hot puff of air against the back of your neck as his strong thighs wrap around your own. Even this manâs feet are fucking huge in every sense.
Yâknow what they say about big feet? An even biggerâheart. I was going to say heart.
âOkay.â You squeak out as you relax further into his hold around you.
âCan you jusâ let me know if youâre uncomfortable at any point? Cusâ if thatâs the case, Iâll slip right out. No questions asked, sweetheart.â
You couldnât help but giggle at his apparent nervousness. It was sweet, in a Joel-like fashion. Hell must have frozen over right then and there because the Joel you had grown so accustomed to, was anything but sweet.
âWow. You sure know how to romance a lady up, Miller. Did Tommy teach you how to do that?â You couldnât help but wiggle your ass back against him. The thought of reaching down between your thighs and touching yourself crossed your mind, but you refrained.
He laughed, and it sent a wave of arousal gushing like a river because his laugh was beautiful. It was music to your fucking ears.
âShut the fuck up.â His teeth grazed at the spot where your neck meets your jaw. He bit down, drawing blood to the surface of his indentation in your skin. âI taught Tommy everythinâ he needs to know on romancinâ a woman. Donât get it twisted, sweetheart.â
âSure, sure. Whatever you say, big boy.â You nearly purred. Your back arched towards him, a suppressed moan desperate to be set free when his teeth marked you.
âI think someone is a bit too eager over this whole arrangement that we have found ourselves in.â He comments in a low rasp and his hand drifts down from your hip and nudges your thighs apart with a practiced ease. His heavy cock pressed firmly against your lower back as he let out another praising grunt from between his lips.
âStop playing with me, Joel. I donât want to be played with.â You hiss under your breath when you feel the backside of his knuckles slowly drag through the seam of your cunt.
âYâsure about that, sweetheart? If you donât wanna be played with, then what do you want?â
Frankly, heâs taking too long for your liking and you decided then and there to take matters into your own hands; literally. You reach between your bodies before he even has a chance to protest as you blindly search for his cock. Your warm palm barely fits around the girth of him.
âI want you to take your cock and stretch me open, Joel. Think you can handle that? Best not keep a lady waiting. Itâs awfully rude.â You tsk under your breath.
He growls as his hips buck upwards into your hand like heâs never felt the touch of a womanâs palm before in his life.
âFine. I like a woman that knows exactly what she wants, anyway. Wonât keep ya waitinâ any longer, princess.â
Joel Miller is a man of his word and just when you think heâs bluffing, you feel the thick press of the head of his cock sliding through your slick folds and notching at your entrance.
He groans against your ear, jaw clenching, and teeth grinding because youâre tight and hugging him like a fucking fist.
âJesus fuck. Thatâs a tight cunt if Iâve ever felt one.â He rasps as you slowly pull him in further at the rate that he pushes his hips. Soon, heâs bottomed out with his hips firmly pressed into your ass. His legs stay tangled through yours as his arms come to wrap you up in his hold once more.
âFuck.â You breathe, lashes fluttering as he stretches you open. He fits snuggly, almost as if your pussy was making a home for his cock to stay there awhile, all cozy and warm with you. âSee? Was that so fucking difficult?â
He shakes his head and you swear you can feel him grinning against your skin. âNope. It wasnât difficult at all, sweetheart. In fact, I think Iâll stay here awhile.â Yeah, heâs definitely enjoying this.
You smile at this, burying your face into the solid muscle of his bicep, pressing the lightest kiss there. Maybe you even nibbled on it, and maybe he chuckled and pulled you in even closer.
âStay as long as youâd please, Joel.â You whisper softly.
Come morning the embers from the fire had long since died out, and the storm had since passed. You and Joel were still a bunch of tangled limbs and connected warmth by the time Tommy and the rest of patrol had found you.
Joel had since grown soft with his cock still buried deep within your warmth and his face was buried in your neck with peaceful snores slipping past his plush lips. His eyes barely peeked open when he heard familiar voices muffled, yet nearby. Tommy had just brushed a bit of snow off the top of the sleeping bag and pulled the zipper down when he was met with a sight that he wasnât expecting.
âWell, Iâll be damned.â He chuckled and shot his big brother a cheeky wink.
Banners made by the lovely @saradika đ€
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#fic: warm me up#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller fluff#mean!joel#game joel miller#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel x female reader#joel x f!reader#joel x you#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#joel miller the last of us#joel tlou#joel the last of us#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller story
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I AM A SWIMMER NOW I GUESS
Saw this hot hunk at the beach today, that wetsuit made my boner start growing. Now Iâm in his body, and I canât believe my luck.
It all started this morning when I decided to hit the beach. I was feeling restless, yearning for a change, something exciting to break the monotony of my everyday life. As soon as I arrived, I saw him. Towering over everyone, his broad shoulders and chiseled chest were perfectly defined through the tight, black wetsuit clinging to his muscular frame. His short hair glistened in the sun, and every movement he made was a display of pure, effortless power.
I couldnât take my eyes off him. As he waded into the water, the way his wetsuit accentuated every muscle and curve of his body made my heart race and, to be honest, made my boner start growing. I knew I had to find a way to get closer.
As he emerged from the water streaming off his perfect physique, I felt a burning desire to be him. The intensity of this longing was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I watched him check his watch, noting the impressive times from his swim. This guy was dedicated, and his hard work had clearly paid off.
Fueled by envy and desire, I followed him discreetly as he walked along the beach. He seemed to be in his own world, confident and relaxed. I felt a strange, overwhelming sensation, and before I knew it, I was standing right behind him, feeling a surge of power and an inexplicable connection.
With a sudden burst of energy, I grabbed his shoulder. He turned around, eyes widening in surprise. Before he could react, I focused all my thoughts and desires into one single point, imagining myself as him. The world seemed to shift and blur for a moment.
When my vision cleared, I was looking down at a different perspective. I glanced at my handsâhis handsâstrong and tanned. I ran my fingers over the wetsuit, feeling the tight material against my skin, my new skin. I had done it. I was in his body.
I walked towards the water, feeling the power in each step. My new muscles rippled under the wetsuit, and I reveled in the sensation of being so strong, so alive. The beach seemed different from this vantage point, peopleâs eyes on me, admiration, and envy clear in their gazes.
After an hour or so, I took a break, sitting on the beach and marveling at my new form. I noticed a watch on my wrist, the kind swimmers use to track their training times. Curiously, I checked it. His â my â times were impressive. No wonder he had such an incredible physique; this guy was dedicated, and his training was clearly paying off.
I couldnât help but run my hands over my new body, feeling the hard muscles under the wetsuit. The sensation was intoxicating. Every touch sent shivers of pleasure down my spine. I looked down at the bulge in the wetsuit, now mine, and felt a thrill unlike any other. This body was pure sex appeal, and I could feel the raw, physical power coursing through every inch of me.
But then, a shadow fell over me. I looked up to see the original owner of the body, now in my old, ordinary form, staring down at me with a mixture of anger and confusion.
âWhat did you do?â he demanded, his voice trembling with rage.
Panic surged through me. I hadnât thought this far ahead. I had stolen his body, but what was I supposed to do now?
âLook, IâŠâ I began, but he cut me off.
âYou think you can just steal my life?â he yelled. âYouâre going to regret this!â
Before I could respond, he lunged at me. Despite being in his former, less impressive body, he tackled me to the ground with surprising strength. We wrestled in the sand, but I quickly overpowered him, my new muscles easily subduing him.
People started to gather, watching the commotion. I had to think fast.
âThis guyâs crazy,â I shouted to the onlookers. âHe attacked me out of nowhere!â
A couple of beachgoers pulled him off me, holding him back as he struggled and shouted. I backed away, still trying to wrap my head around what had just happened.
As they dragged him away, his eyes locked onto mine, a promise of retribution clear in his glare. I knew this wasnât over, but for now, I had won. I was the hunk in the wetsuit, the center of attention, the one everyone admired.
I had to be careful, though. I had taken his body, but it hadnât accounted for the consequences. For now, I would enjoy my new life, but I knew I had to find a way to secure it permanently, to make sure I stayed in this perfect body without the risk of losing it.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, I walked back towards the water, feeling the cool waves lap against my feet. I was determined to make the most of this opportunity, no matter what it took.
I had stolen the swimmerâs body, and I wasnât about to let it go. Every flex, every move in the tight wetsuit was a reminder of what I had gained. I leaned back, a smile spreading across my face as I whispered to myself, "Haha, now you are mine."
#body switch#dick bulge#muscular#body suit#alpha jock#gay men#hunky guy#jock bulge#body swap#swimwear#wetsuit
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Nobody likes the angry girl
A note from the author: I saw a video that hit home. It was a tiktok about being told that ânobody likes the angry girlâ. I was the angry girl as a child, and by now you probably know that this is a fic based off of my life. I am not enabling this kind of behaviour, but Iâm trying to show you how it can feel to struggle with trauma. Traumas need constant work, love and attention.
If you are struggling with the same thing; you are not a monster. You will get there. Itâs not your fault. I love you.
Credits: This is based off a tiktok that I saw, you can find it here. Courtesy of @young.Riley on TikTok.
Warning: Trauma, anger, anxiety
Summary: Your childhood has caused more damage than Alexia could ever believe.
â ïžIf you feel easily triggered or overwhelmed, read with caution and take breaks. If you need to, please seek a mental health hotline.
â
âNobody likes the angry girlâ. That was a sentence that would be thrown after you as if it was a knife. Your mother would use it when you did something she didnât like. Speaking up for yourself, telling her how you felt, wanting her love or being upset. She would describe you as angry if you werenât a pleasure or the quiet girl.
Alexia however, she is patient with the angry girl. She understands the angry girl because she took her time to understand her. She asked the questions and listened to the stories. She knew what caused you to become the angry girl. How your motherâs words cut through your back causing scars in your heart. Alexia knew that the angry girl carried her heart outside her sleeve. She loved the angry girl with every cell in her body.
The Spanish heat was flowing in through the kitchen windows. You breathed in the air filling your lungs all the way up. Your body felt sweaty after working in the garden for a while. It was mid day, and you had gotten the week off. It was a nice change, your workplace had decided to work on their employees wellbeing giving all of your colleagues a week off. You see, that was the recipe for a perfect week. Only, whenever you got too much time off: your mind and unconsciousness would deep dive into your childhood making your mood miserable and leaving your emotions on edge.
You decided that the best thing to do was to head into the shower, so you approached the bedroom where you pulled out a pair of black athletic bike shorts and a blue athletic long sleeve. Just as you were about to close the door to the wall in closet, you noticed that alexia had left clothes in the floor. Not just on the floor, but right next to the laundry basket. The mishap itched you the wrong way. âOf courseâ, you mumbled to yourself, âof course she would leave me to pick it up when she knows that I hate when she does that.â You reached for the clothes before chucking it into the basket. It made you feel annoyed. Like your blood was boiling. But you pushed it down. You didnât want to have a meltdown, not when Alexia had a stressful week.
When you entered the bathroom, you quickly started the water making the shower heat up before getting undressed. That was when you noticed the toothpaste on the mirror. Your face dropped when you saw it. Jesus, you thought, you just cleaned it yesterday. It made it feel like Alexia didnât appreciate your hard work of trying to keep the house in shape. You grabbed a rag after spraying the mirror, washing the full length of the mirror. You couldnât just was the one spot with toothpaste, because then it would cause streaks. And you hated streaks. When you turned around to feel the temperature of the running water with your hand, you stepped into cold water with your socks. It made you feel furious. âOh my godâ you mumbled to yourself. You took a deep breath with your eyes closed. Then, your hands reached for a dry towel to wipe up the water that Alexia had left for you to step on.
But, your hand didnât find anything. You turned your head to see that there were no towels. You took a quick deep breath feeling as if you were about to explode. The robe that was hanging on its hook came to use when you wrapped yourself in it heading into the linen closet to restock towels. Alexia knew that there were fresh towels in the closet. They were neatly folded, white cream towels made out of bamboo. You grabbed the bunch that were sitting on the shelf before stomping your way into the bathroom. The towels got placed in its shelf before you wiped up Alexiaâs mess from earlier this morning.
You see, the thing about being the angry girl is that it becomes your identity. You are never smart, talented, beautiful or a joy; because in your motherâs eyes, all you are is the angry girl. When she gave you silent treatment as a 5 year old and you cried for days begging her to speak to you. The first thing she said when you sat there, tears filling your eyes was that nobody likes the angry girl. It hurt like a gunshot. And whenever she used it, it felt like you got shot again. And again. And again. And again. Even though you donât talk to your mother anymore, you are still the angry girl in her eyes. You will never be anything more.
After your shower, you sat down on the toilet while drying off. Your hand instantly reached for your phone which lead you to watch TikTok. It was childishly enough the only thing that would give your brain a pause. Some days, you had to take yourself on a timeout to watch TikTok with your headphones underneath your blanket it your dark bedroom. Maybe it was the feeling of overwhelming that hit you and maybe that was why this became the solution? Or perhaps it was because whenever you said anything about your feelings, your mother would tell you to go to your bedroom?
You kept watching TikTok before you reached for the toilet paper. And, lo and behold, there was no toilet paper. You couldâve sworn that your eye twitched for a second. But you reached out to the cabinet underneath the sink and popped the new roll on the holder before getting rid of the empty roll.
After feeling the anger building up inside you like a tidal wave, you decided to try to have something to eat. Perhaps, you thought, just perhaps you are hangry and it will all pass once youâve had some food. Then you remembered that you had leftovers from Lasagna in the refrigerator. You peered into the kitchen and opened the big fridge door before feeling your heart sink. No lasanga. Alexia had brought it with her to practice. It made you frown because you knew damn well that Alexia had all kinds of food in the Barca cafeteria that she would eat from. Even fresh lasagna.
In a need to calm yourself down, you decided to go for a drive to the grocery store. You put on some makeup and do your hair all nice before grabbing your purse and heading out. You press the keyless start button in your car and there is a flashing sign. You are out of gas. Alexia borrowed your car yesterday. You feel your blood boiling. You hop out of your car before smacking the door as hard as you can. Then you stomp your way upstairs to the bedroom to hide from the world and your own problems. You stay hidden in the bedroom for hours. Hiding underneath your weighted blanket hoping that you will fall asleep. Thatâs one of the angry girl strategies, sleeping. She will close her eyes and keep them shut for hours to avoid confrontation.
But, the attempt to calm down is quickly paused. Your eyes peer open when you hear Alexiaâs familiar footsteps in the hallway. âHola, amor!â She calls out. You can tell that sheâs in a good mood. The kind of mood that makes you feel sick to your bones when the angry girl is out. You tuck the blanket around your head so only your face sticks out. â..Amor? Are you sick, no?â Alexia asks softly when she opens up the door to the bedroom. You huff out in response hoping to keep the angry girl away. Alexia sits down next to you on the bed. She gives you the most loving look. It makes the angry girl scared. God, you think. You are so unloveable. Your eyes starts to look like glass, but Alexia dosent seem to catch it. âIâll go make you some tea. Blueberry?â she askes before placing a kiss on your forehead. You nod in response.
Why is the world against me today, you think. Keeping your head calm when the storm is flaring up isnât easy, the angry girl inside you is peeking out from the heavy blackout curtains she normally is forced to hide behind. You see, the angry girl looks big and scary. Sheâs hiding behind curtains as she takes up the whole room. But, the angry girl isnât a big girl. Sheâs small. Sheâs little. She looks big because of the shadows from the lights, but she is small. She is so small. Sheâs easy to hurt. And sheâs sensitive.
The angry girl comes out with a bang. Alexia drops the cup in the kitchen causing you to practically jump out of bed. It scares you shameless, and the angry girl feels put on the spot. You stomp into the kitchen, your face strained and your body tight. You look at the cup on the ground. Or, what was left of it. You instantly recognise it. That is what causes the angry girl to jump out. âALEXIA!! Seriously?? My moomin mug? From my grandmother?? Seriously?? You are so clumsy, so irresponsible! God, you are so fucking annoying! Why do you ruin everything!â The angry girl yells out feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Alexia looks caught off guard before her looks softens. âYou are right mi vida, i shouldnât have dropped it. Lo siento mucho princesaâ she speaks softly. Her body slowly moves towards you. When she dosent get angry back, the little girl feels scared. For some reason, that causes the angry girl to feel threatened. âDonât fucking touch me, Alexia! Donât you dare to fucking touch me!â The angry girl yells before turning around and sprinting to the bedroom. Your hand quickly turns the lock before your throw yourself on the bed, face looking into the wall as tears of anger swells in your eyes. You can hear Alexia outside of the door. âLeave me alone!! God, will you ever fucking learn? I should just move out!!â The angry girl screams before pulling the blanket over your head. You lay completely still with your eyes squeezed shut causing you to fall asleep within minutes.
The angry girl haunts your head monthly. It used to be weekly, and in periods; even daily. You donât purposely let the angry girl out, but sometimes she claws her way out of the deepest darkest rooms where you normally keep her. The angry girl is a result of trauma, event though you sometimes let yourself believe that she is who you are. A part of your personality. A part of you. The angry girl hurt you for years. But you, Alexia and your psychiatrist worked together to get you where you are today.
The thing about the angry girl is that she isnât really big. Sheâs a little girl. When the little girl comes out to play, she gets scared. She hides in the bedroom in fear that someone might yell at her. Or disown her. Or not talk to her. To hide is how so stays protected. Her talent is hide and seek. She tiptoes into the bathroom at night, terrified to wake someone up. She sneaks snacks when nobody is watching and god forbid someone catches her: she always ask if sheâs allowed food. As a young little girl, she craved love, she craved to be seen and she craved to feel wanted. But she wasnât allowed to feel those feelings. She was starved of the feelings. She creeps along the shadows of the hallway avoiding showing herself until she is trapped in a corner. Thatâs when the little girl becomes the angry girl. When she is trapped, and there is nowhere to hide and it feels like the world is about to end. But because Alexia is there, the world doesnât end.
-
An hour later, you wake up by someone softly playing your hair. You can hear the low buzz of the bedroom tv. The slow beats of Alexiaâs heart. The warmth of her lap. The embarrassment and the sadness fills your body. Tears make your eyes glass-like. You move your hand slightly. âFeeling better amore?â Alexia hums at you, not stopping her comforting movements. âIâm so sorr-â you speak before your voice breaks and your body fills with regret and embarrassment. You feel so angry with yourself. Why are you like this? Why canât you just communicate instead of letting everything blow up? You donât know how to stop it, and you are terrified that it will drive Alexia away. âYou donât deserve this..â you mumble moving your hand to alexiaâs knee.
âMi amor, itâs not your fault that you were treated badly as a kid so donât be sorry for breaking something that you didnât break. You will get there with time and patience, and Iâll be with you every step of the way. Te amo mucho and that is never gonna change. Vale?â
Alexia looks down on you smile long softly before kissing your head.
«Vale, te amo, Ale. Te amo muchoâ
#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso community#barca femini x reader#barcelona women#barcelona x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#alexia x reader
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you want to blame it on the sheer amount of people packed into mattsunâs small, tenth floor apartmentâthe way itâs suddenly difficult to breathe.
at least thatâs what you mutter to makki as you excuse yourself and head toward the balconyâs reprieve, your drink forgotten on the coffee table as you step out into the frigid winter air.
but fuck if the familiar, warm scent of iwaizumiâs cologne doesnât invade your nostrils a moment later anyway, something youâre beyond embarrassed to recognize with your eyes closed.
you donât turn around as the sliding door clicks shut, eyes trained on some unremarkable landmark in the distance that you canât quite make out in the darkness. and as he comes to stand beside you, forearms leaning on the metal handrail inches away from your own, youâre not sure if the slight shiver that wracks its way down your spine is from the flakes of snow that have begun to settle on your bare arms or his maddening proximity.
you canât fucking stand itâthis unceremonious collapse of your lungs in his presence, the blistering heat that prickles down your neck and closes tightly around your throat.
something soft and warm settles around your shoulders, and your throat goes dry as the zipper of his jacket brushes against your neck.
âwhereâs your girlfriend?â you ask, hoping the question doesnât sound as pathetic as you feel.
itâs funny how these things workâyou spent years trying to get over your silly high school crush, only for all of it to come crashing back down in your lap gathered at the bar with friends celebrating his return to japan after uni.
itâs funnyâthe way you could hardly remember the name of the guy you were casually seeing in that moment as you watched iwaizumi walk in with a pretty girl clutching his elbow.
iwa laughs quietly, and itâs a little rough, a bit self-deprecating. âwhereâs your boyfriend?â
itâs funnyâthe odd curve of his tone on the last word.
âdonât have one,â you reply, casting him a sideways glance, his expression unreadable.
âshe told me she wanted to move to japan with me,â he says carefully, exhaling a cloud of warm air as his gaze sweeps to the skyline.
your heart sinks.
âand?â
âand i told her i wanted to break up.â
you whip around to face him, convinced you heard him wrong. âyou what?â
he reaches across the space between your bodies, hands grasping the bottom edges of the jacket and zipping it up to your chin (and itâs so goddamn reminiscent of the way he used to chide you for not dressing properly on the walk to school that you sway a little on your feet).
you canât help the way you nudge his foot in return just like you always used toâitâs muscle memory, more than anything else.
and yet youâre not anticipating the way he still follows up in kind, hooking a foot around the back of your ankle, muttering about your shit choice of shoes in the dead of winter. while itâs hardly a tap, itâs enough to make you take a step forward in surprise as the lines between the past and present begin to blur, stumbling slightly.
two hands at your waist steady you, and despite the layers between his palms and your hips, your nerve endings ignite.
âcoming home made me realize that even moving to the other side of the world wouldnât stop me from wondering,â he says softly, snowflakes accumulating in his mussed brown hair.
âwondering what, iwaizumi?â
he doesnât answer you for a moment, just stares at you with an intensity that makes you briefly question the physics of spontaneous combustion.
âwhat itâd be like to hear you call me by my name for once,â he murmurs. âwhat itâd be like to do this, if youâd let me.â carefully, he traces the curve of your bottom lip, his touch feather-light.
your legs wobble, just a little, and iwaizumiâs left hip and thigh press up against you. itâs a weather phenomenon, the way everything goes quiet during snow fallâbut itâd all be drowned out either way right now against the erratic thrumming behind your ribcage.
âi missed you, hajime,â you whisper, the syllables heavy on your tongueâtheyâre at odds with this dizzy lightness in your chest.
his eyes fall shut for a beat, lips curving upward in a faint smile, his fingers twitching subtly at your waist.
you begin to lean forward, and thereâs a quiet sigh of relief that falls from his lips before he cups your face in both of his hands, his mouth crashing into yours.
#haikyuu#hajime iwaizumi#iwaizumi hajime#hajime iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi hajime x reader#dee writes#rambling: h. iwaizumi
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tasm peter parker or james potter x anxious ! reader ??? i literally get so stressed and anxious at night that my heart starts beating rapidly and i canât do anything let alone sleep đđđđ wishing that i wasnât all alone in this and had some company, but we can imagine ! đ
Thank for requesting lovely
cw: symptoms of anxiety
tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ⥠628 words
Peterâs hand stopped moving on your back a while ago. It now lays flat just below your left shoulder blade. You wonder if he can feel your heartbeat from back there.Â
âWanna try some more breaths?â he asks. His voice is soft with drowsiness.Â
You inhale slowly, mostly in the hopes that your boyfriend will think youâre calming and heâll fall asleep. But really, the achey, dissatisfying stretch of your lungs only makes you feel your thundering heartbeat more acutely. Every time you realize how much it hurts, itâs like an invisible boa constrictor wraps tighter around your chest.Â
Peter starts rubbing your back again.Â
âI donât think this is sustainable,â you murmur. âYou should go to sleep.âÂ
âWhat, and leave you by yourself?â he scoffs lightly. Your stomach sinks. If he was approaching sleep, youâve brought him back. âNot a chance. But if you think itâs not working, we could watch a movie or something.âÂ
âNo,â you say, though it does sound nice. The past couple of nights, you and Peter have cuddled up on the couch with a movie, and when you eventually get tired enough to fall asleep he brings you to bed. It works great for you; the catch is that then heâs the one staying up.Â
Itâs something about being in your bed, you think. Itâs not an inherently unrelaxing place, but when you get into bed at night, the lights off and your home silent, suddenly dread is gripping you like a vice. Your thoughts go where you canât stop themâyouâre hardly quick enough to keep up at allâand before you know whatâs happened your heartâs rattling your ribcage like it wants out and your eyes are glossy wet.Â
âI donât think itâs not working,â you tell him now, trying not to sound too hopeless, âI just donât think itâs realistic for you to spend every night putting me to sleep like an infant.âÂ
Peter huffs a laugh. âCâmon, donât be so fussy,â he teases. You pull back a little just so you can glare at him through the darkness. Youâre pretty sure he can see you with that super vision of his, yet he chooses to ignore it. âYou still wanna be my baby, right?âÂ
You try to groan, but a little bit of laugh makes it through. âGross. Not like that.âÂ
âYeah, I know.â Your boyfriend chuckles, encouraging you to do the same. Though itâs a begrudging sound, it does loosen something in your chest ever so slightly. âBut hey, I donât mind staying up with you. The anxiety is around going to sleep, right?âÂ
You hum.Â
âThen weâll give you some new feelings around going to sleep.â Peter leans forward, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. He says it like itâs easy. Like itâs a foregone conclusion, and even if itâs not heâll just start trying the next thing. âWe can do this. Iâd rather be awake with you than asleep without you anyways.âÂ
You burrow in close to his chest. You can hear his heartbeat, steady and about twice as slow as yours. âThat sounds like a cheesy line you got from a romcom,â you say, your voice inlaid with fondness.Â
âYeah, Sleepless in Seattle.âÂ
âReally?â
âNope. Never seen it.â Peter gives your shoulder a firm scrub, and you can practically sense his smile as he lays another kiss on your head. âBut it makes what weâre doing seem pretty romantic, huh?âÂ
If you asked the people who directed those movies, theyâd probably be able to think of a million more romantic things you could be doing with your boyfriend than laying still in bed, whispering to each other and trying to outlast frantic thoughts. But to you, right now, it does seem pretty good.Â
#tasm peter parker#tasm spiderman#tasm!peter parker#tasm!spiderman#tasm!peter parker x reader#tasm!peter parker x fem!reader#tasm!peter parker x y/n#tasm!peter parker x you#tasm!peter parker x self insert#tasm!peter parker fanfic#tasm!peter parker fanfiction#tasm!peter parker fluff#tasm!peter parker hurt/comfort#tasm!peter parker imagine#tasm!peter parker scenario#tasm!peter parker drabble#tasm!peter parker blurb#tasm!peter parker one shot#tasm!peter parker oneshot#tasm#tasmania#tasm x reader#the amazing spiderman fandom#the amazing spiderman fanfiction#the amazing spiderman
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take my breath awayÂ
lads sylus x afab!reader (18+)
word count: ~ 1.6k
content: pre-established relationship (admittedly obsessed with husband!sylus), not proofread, corn without plot, breathplay, pet names (kitten, sweetie, cutie), needy!reader, overstimulation, unprotected sex, p in v, reposted my old work from diff fandom
when you gasp it's like something snaps.Â
your whole body quakes as euphoria floods through you, high-pitched cries tumbling from your lips and your nails leaving pretty red patterns all over your husbandâs back. sylus is a pro at many things, but he's especially talented at hitting that delicate spot inside you for the third time tonight, flipping the switch in your brain that turns off all the thoughts focused on anything but him.Â
you donât remember how this started, whether you had a bad day or he did, or what precisely it was that has you a fucked out doll at his disposal. shit, youâre not even sure how your day went at all right now, but you arenât complaining.Â
on the contrary, youâre begging. your hole is sensitive, that's an understatement, but itâs still drinking in his fingers desperately. it's so good, so addictive when sylus fills you up, whether itâs his long fingers or his cock, your pussy craves more each second.Â
but now sylus isnât moving and your recovering walls feel neglected without his fingers massaging into them. âno, no,â you whimper, lightly smacking at his arm. âneed more⊠wanna cum again.â
your hiccups seem to grab sylus's attention again, his crimson gaze heavy yet curious. somehow, even in your pleasured haze, you recognize the expression. he wants something from you and, of course, you automatically want to give it to him as soon as he tells you what it is. He pulls his fingers from you with a sloppy wet sound that has your eyes rolling, your hole clenching as though begging to be stretched again, needing to be filled.Â
âsweetie,â sylus slurs, his voice intoxicatingly deep with a tempting lull to his words. âwill you make that soundâŠâ his voice catches, tense with his own growing arousal that's evident in the way his brows furrow as he tries to find his words. âmake that pretty noise again for me.â
your brows furrow for a moment and you think you notice him using his wet hand to push his boxers down, the other traveling up to the base of your neck. he presses gently, tentatively, a tender massage that eases your breath, makes you comfortable enough to find your voice and ask, âwhat nâ?â
the question catches in your throat, breath hitching beneath his palm as he squeezes. your eyes widen, an internal scream of I canât breathe! causing your heart to skip a beat. but sylusâs grip loosens just before the panic fully manifests and oxygen floods into your lungs, the relief racing both up to fill your head and down to pool between your thighs.Â
âthat.â
oh. your thinking is still cloudy, sentences not linking together properly, words not articulating, but you think you know what heâs talking about. how fitting.
sylus fucking likes the sound of you choking, the melody of you gasping and whimpering, even more vulnerable at his hands than you already are. and, honestly, it works out, because you love the way it feels when he chokes you. you know he's at war with himself internally, weighing out his own pleasure and your comfort. always so thoughtful. you respond with your own hand resting gently on top of his, squeezing it as if to urge him to continue.Â
sylus seems a bit relieved and he leans down to press a hungry kiss to your lips, catching your lower lip between his teeth before swiping his tongue over it and pulling back just enough to whisper, âso you like that, kitten?â he sounds a bit hopeful and if you could think properly, youâd say it was cute.Â
âyes,â itâs a blend of a hiccup, a sob, and likely a deranged giggle. your hand flutters on top of his, pressing it down into your neck.Â
thatâs all he needs to hear.Â
itâs as simple as a flex of his perfect fingers that gets you to keen, your movements in tandem with his as you hook your legs around his waist. your expression, the beautiful sounds leaving you, and the steady stream of bliss dripping from your holeâit has him hard and throbbing as he positions himself between your legs.Â
youâd whine if you could, but your voice is hidden behind sylus's giant hand, your breath shallow. you see stars when he slides into you, the stretch making your mouth fall open in a stifled scream, drool trickling from the corner of your lips. youâre unable to take the breath you usually would, to steady yourself, to keep yourself from unraveling then and there. no, now youâre only able to clench, to grip him with your needy walls. your mind is melting and his oh-so-intoxicating voice only adds fuel to the fire.Â
âyouâre so beautiful, sweetie. always, but especially when youâre like this,â sylus groans, his hips rocking into a pace that has you silently sobbing, the pleasure overwhelming. itâs like both of you have forgotten the level of your sensitivity, your orgasms in the past hour brushed aside. the focus is on how badly you want more, more, more right now.Â
sylus is creating a pattern, lightening his grip on your neck only to slam into you right as youâre trying to recover with a breath. âyou like it when youâre fucked stupid, huh?â he pants between thrusts. âmy kitten just wants to be full of my cock?âÂ
your acquiescence is broken up into too many syllables, otherwise reduced to gasps and fluttering lashes. your nails dig pretty red crescents into his arms, tears spilling from your eyes as your lungs are tempted again and again, the rush of air being abruptly stopped and sylus pounding into your pussy enough to drive you crazy, if you arenât already.Â
sylus is equally drunk on your pussy; the way it pulls him into your heat, how your walls massage his cock each time he slams into you. it always feels like heâs reminding you that your pussy is all his, just for him. it's always been his goal; by the end of these late nights all you can remember is him, his cock and how nothing will ever fill you as perfectly.Â
âaw, my needy little kitten, canât think of anything but how good you feel right now, hm?â you think you nod, your teary chin hitting the back of his hand as his grasp tightens again. âthere you go, sweetie,â he groans, his half-lidded gaze drinking up your tears and gasps. âfeel so good you can't stop crying, hm? oh youâre so beautiful. so beautiful and all fucking mine.â
maybe itâs something about the way your eyes roll back, your lips parted in a suspended gasp, the rosy flush thatâs filled your cheeksâwhatever it is causes sylusâs hips to stutter, pushing into you at a depth that, if you werenât already suffocating, would take your breath away.Â
he lets go, his hand moving to brace himself through his own climax as it mixes with yours and you break down into delighted gasping sobs. âsy,â your voice is hoarse, broken, but the way your fingers trail up and down his forearm proves that itâs all in bliss. âholy shit, you're soâso good, itâs so⊠it feels so good.â
sylus chuckles breathlessly, the rough pads of his fingers going to draw soothing circles on the reddening skin of your neck. âyouâre too perfect for me.â he hums and trails kisses from your neck to your jaw, finally ending at your lips.
his kisses are soft, far more tender than the roughness of his fingers around your throat, each one planting seeds of reality in your thoughts, slowly bringing your vocabulary back together in a way that makes sense, but not enough to draw you out from the pleasure that still has you shivering. âyou did so well, sweetie,â he soothes into your lips, taking your weary giggles into his adoring kiss. âyouâre absolutely amazing.âÂ
thereâs a beat of hesitancy and Sylus takes the time to slowly pull out of you, trying to keep his eyes away from the way your hole tenses, a milky stream being pushed out and drawn back in with every pulse. He settles next to you and pulls you into his arms, stroking your hair and steadying his breathing to help inspire yours to calm.Â
âsweetie?â he starts and you can barely place the discomfort in his tone. âthat wasn'tâŠâ his brows furrow as the words escape him and he almost looks sheepish when he meets your gaze. so out of character, yet so endearing. âi didnât hurt you⊠right?â
the laugh that leaves you is a bit more stable, genuine in its amusement. words are still proving to be difficult, due to both the mental toll and the physical pull on your throat, but you think you can get the point across when you kiss him. âno... didnât hurt. i liked itâreally liked it.âÂ
relief fills sylusâs sigh and he kisses your forehead, a small smile on his face when he pulls away to look at you. his eyes scan your equally red neck and you absently doodle invisible patterns on his bare chest, peeking up at him through your lashes.Â
âwhat is it, cutie?â sylus asks in that irresistible timbre as he studies your needy expression. He knows what you want, but heâs fully prepared to keep you in his arms for just a bit longer and, thankfully, youâre in agreement.Â
âneed⊠a lilâ breakâŠâ you admit, nuzzling into his chest with a soft sigh. âbutâŠâ you peek up at him again with an adorable amount of playful shyness that makes his heart skip a beat.
âi can go again.â
#âïœĄË âïž yu writes (again) ËâœËïœĄâ#sy đŠâ⏠smut#sylus x reader#lads x reader#lads sylus#yes i reposted from a because it applies hush i can't unthink it#now for xavier whatEver#banners by cafekitsune#i'll figure out photos i swear i can't remember how to do this ahem#lads smut#sylus smut#lnds smut
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