#if anything it makes me happy so thank u c:

[sacrificialmutt]

oh!

[toruro]

— ✧ back to december

a part of flower me with love ... an hhu unit x flowers collection !

genre: smut (18+ / mdni), fluff, angst (resolved!), best friends to strangers to lovers

description: it's been four months and twenty-two days since you've last talked to mingyu, however your mother still thinks you two are friends. you don't have the heart to tell her what really happened, and now you think it's time for you to move on. (un?)fortunately for you though, mingyu seems to have other plans.

inspired by back to december by taylor swift!

tags: miscommunication, unrequited love (not fr though), big dick mingyu, sex in a car >_<, riding, fingering, pet names (angel, pretty), creampie :3

w/c: 4.3k

a/n: happy birthday @gyuswhore!!! this fic is for em but if not em and ur reading it i hope u enjoy too. this is like 2/3 plot and 1/3 smut if anyone cares

Normality is bliss.

That’s what you used to tell yourself. That’s what you used to believe.

Normality was bright mornings, crisp air, slow walking down the main street, inhaling the ambrosial scent of freshly roasted coffee beans, and slipping under the fairy lights that hang over the door. It was the warm sound of the overhead bell ringing, permeating laughter in the cafe from all customers, and daisies in a pot by the entrance.

Normality was Mingyu. His bright laugh as you approach the counter, sweet voice as he playfully asks you what drink you’d like, to which you roll your eyes and respond with, “You already know, don’t you?” It was the chuckle he would let out, the wink he flashed at you, murmuring the words, “It’s on the house” (because with Mingyu, it was always on the house), the thanks you give him before stepping back.

Normality was the latte he handed you, rough yet ginger fingers brushing over your palm as he warned you, “Careful, it’s hot,” and the giggle you let out when you stepped back and asked how his morning was going. It was Mingyu telling you nothing special happened yet. It was Mingyu suggesting that you two hang out at the field after he’s done with work. It was you grinning and agreeing in an instant, but only under the condition that he picks you up after your class.

Normality was bliss until four months and twenty-two days ago.

Now, normality hurts like a bitch.

Your mother glances at you from the corner of her vision as you rummage through the fridge. “What’re you looking for?”

“Some bread,” you murmur. “Was really craving a tomato sandwich … Damn, we’re seriously out of white bread?” you ask, giving up with a sigh as you close the door and face her.

She shrugs. “If it’s not in the fridge then I guess so. We’re low on produce too actually … I’d be surprised if you find tomatoes in there too,” she says. You purse your lip, shuffling through the different rows of cabinets to find something to throw together to take for lunch as your mother continues to speak. “You think you could stop by the grocery store after class today and pick up some stuff?”

“Yeah sure,” you reply casually.

“Ah, I wish Mingyu still stopped by with the groceries,” your mother says, and the sudden mention of his name has you halting your movements as you reach for a croissant, before you inhale deeply and go back to doing your own thing.

“Yeah,” you say quietly, clearing your throat after the word comes out horsley.

“You know why he stopped doing that?”

You try not to think about how you still haven’t told your mother that you and Mingyu don’t talk anymore.

“Uhh, I guess uni’s been getting to be a lot of work,” you tell her. “We’re both taking way harder classes so, uh, I guess he doesn’t have the time.”

“Hmm, yeah makes sense. You’re always swamped up in that room of yours ‘cause of work too … haven’t seen you two hang out in a while actually.”

You chew on your lip, staring down at your little bag for lunch and the croissant that sits inside. You wonder if you’ll even have the appetite to eat anything today after this conversation.

“We’re just busy. It’s harder to talk now.” It’s not entirely a lie. Grabbing the bag and picking up your backpack, you turn to face your mother who’s scrolling on her phone. “I’m gonna go now. My first class is starting soon.”

Now, normality is huffing as you get into your car, wishing you had a coffee next to you, but being too full of cowardice to head over to the cafe.

(“Go to a different cafe!” is what common sense would tell you, but common sense doesn’t listen to a love that has been betrayed. No other latte tastes the same, but you know that’s only because no other latte has been made by Mingyu.)

You pick up groceries on the way home.

Now, normality is staring at the daisies that are on display as you walk through the front doors of the store and reminiscing. It’s wondering what once was, and what could have been, if you decided to keep your silly feelings to yourself.

Normality is regretting. Regretting ever opening your mouth and telling Mingyu four months and twenty-two days ago that you loved him, and that you had loved him for not one, not two, not five, but ten damn years, because that was when you two met, and you always loved Kim Mingyu, but you should have known that not once did he love you back. Not how you would’ve wanted anyways.

Normality is wondering. Wondering if Mingyu would still be dropping off groceries if you hadn’t told him that you loved him, if he hadn’t told you he didn’t know what to tell you. Wondering if he thinks of you now. Wondering if he has any regrets. Wondering if he’s okay, but you lost the chance to know the answer to that question four months and twenty-two days ago. Wondering if—

Tomatoes. You need to buy the tomatoes, and the bread, some green beans, spinach, bell pepper, and more cheese, milk, maybe some butter, and—what was it that your mother told you to get? Oh, some strawberries.

You need to get all of these things, but there were no daisies on the list, so how did a bouquet full of them end up in your cart? You tell yourself you picked them up because they’re on sale, but you know the real reason is because you miss Mingyu.

Directing your attention back to the list you were sent on your phone, you hum lowly to yourself as you push your cart through the aisles. Checking items off your notes app, you exist with just yourself, your tomatoes, and fresh daisies as you try and finish these groceries before it gets too late into the evening.

Staring at your screen, you almost don’t notice that the dairy aisle isn’t empty until you bump into someone. “Sorry,” you mutter quickly, “I—” The words get caught in your throat when you see just exactly who you’ve hit.

Averting your gaze quickly, you wonder if Mingyu will respond, but you choose to scurry away quickly instead, because as cowardly as it sounds, you’re not sure if you’re ready to hear his voice again.

You’re not sure why your heart beats so fast when you escape into another aisle. Maybe it’s because you couldn’t read the look on his face for the brief second that your eyes met.

(Ten years of being best friends and you somehow don’t know what he’s thinking. Can four months and twenty-two days really change a person that much? Or did you never know Kim Mingyu in the first place?)

When you get home, your mother asks you where you got the daisies from. You tell her Mingyu gave them to you, because you want to convince her that you two are still best friends, and maybe—just maybe—you’re trying to convince yourself of it too.

You decide to buy a latte five days later. Mingyu never worked the evening shifts, so you’re confident you’ll get one of the other’s as the barista if you walk in past 6pm. Seokmin’s always nice. He doesn’t make the latte’s as sweet as you like—more specifically, as sweet as Mingyu made them—but he’s kind and always cheery.

When you walk in today, the pot by the door is empty. There are no more daisies, and you wonder if this is what has become of normality.

Your eyes glaze over the familiar setting, breathing in the sweet, rusty smell of coffee, and you smile watching all the cafe-goers laugh along with each other in their seats. All is going well, and you’re telling yourself that maybe this new normal isn’t too bad. That you’ve lived with it for four months and twenty-seven days, and so you can live with it longer and—

Your heart plummets when you see who's working the register today.

Maybe you really never knew Kim Mingyu, because you swore he hated the evening shifts, but here he is with a neatly tied apron, smiling while he talks to some girl across the counter. And his toothy grin is so bright and you aren’t sure if you’re seeing things correctly because everything sound has turned to a white rush in your ears and your vision blurs because you are once again awarded the painful reminder that you are in love with Kim Mingyu.

You thought your heart broke right in two back in December, but you hear it crack in this moment and realize that this was the final blow.

There are tears in your eyes, and you don’t know how long you stand there, until you hear your name. Seokmin is calling for you, and when you look up there’s no girl at the counter and it’s just Mingyu and Seokmin staring at you.

And you wonder briefly if you should be glad that Mingyu looks concerned but you don’t have time to dwell on the fact because Seokmin calls for you again—“Hey, are you okay? You—you’re crying”—and fuck, you’ve just humiliated yourself, so with fat tears hitting the dark wood ground you turn on your heel and rush out the door.

You keep thinking and wondering and regretting and you hate it all because regret has become normality, but regret is not a bliss.

You walk down the street, and you keep walking and walking and walking until you realize you forgot where you parked the car but none of that matters because all you’re thinking about is Mingyu’s smile, and how he doesn’t smile at you anymore. And so you walk faster and cry a bit harder until you’re so far down the street you don’t even know where you are anymore but it doesn’t matter because you don’t know who you’ve become.

And there’s footsteps thudding behind you—are you going to get kidnapped now? Fuck, you’ve already had the most horrendous sequence of events that could possibly happen to you in the span of five minutes, and now it’s going to get worse? If this goddamn kidnapper could just target you any other day, then maybe you wouldn’t whip around with tearful eyes, shouting into the dark: “Please don’t kidnap me! I’ll go with you any other day but—Mingyu!?”

His tall figure is hunched over, hands over his thighs as he heaves for breath, craning his neck to look up at you. “Kidnap you? Why in the world would I kidnap you?” he asks through harsh breaths. “Fuck, you walk so fast,” he groans, finally standing up as you furiously wipe your tears away in an attempt to actually make sense of this situation.

“I—” You want to reply, but then it hits you that this is the first time Mingyu has spoken to you in four months and twenty-seven days, and the thought is dizzying. “I don’t know,” you tell him, because you really don’t know. You don’t know a damn thing.

Mingyu looks at you with a look that you, once again, can’t seem to read. “Sorry, I—I wanted to see if you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” you tell him, and anyone would be able to see through the lie but you’re hoping that Mingyu doesn’t pry any further. He doesn’t move, nor does he say anything. “You can, uh, go back now,” you add, rubbing the back of your neck as you stare at the ground. “I’m okay.”

“You—you were crying.”

Opening your mouth to protest, you realize you can’t refute him now. Not when it was so painfully obvious. You choose silence instead, hoping that your apprehension will be enough to drive him away, although it only seems to egg Mingyu on.

You don’t expect the words he blurts out after a few moments of thickness.

“You don’t know how much I wish I could go back to December and change things.”

“Please don’t lie to me Mingyu,” you tell him, and he can just hear from the way you say his name that you are desperately pleading with him. When you finally look up at him with glossy eyes, he wonders how in the world he let things get this far.

“I’m not lying, I—I wouldn’t lie about this.”

“What do you mean by this, Mingyu? What is this?” You cover your face and begin to sob, but not without gasping out words between heavy breaths. “Please don’t do this to me, not again.”

And when you uncover your face and look at him again, he’s got some bewildered look on his face, and you can’t tell what he’s going to say next.

“The girl,” Mingyu starts to say. “That’s my cousin. She was visiting me at work and—”

“It’s not about the girl, Mingyu!” And that’s a bit of a lie because some part of it is about the girl but it’s mainly about you and it’s mainly about Mingyu—mainly about the two of you.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and speaks. “Sorry, I—you’re right.”

Silence once more, before you calm your breaths and shake your head. “You should head back, Mingyu.”

“No I—wait, I just—I’m not lying. I regret everything I did in December.”

“Ming—”

“No, please listen to me. I regret not telling you how I actually felt, but I was so confused,” he tells you, repeating your name. “I was confused and fucking terrified because if things didn’t work out for some reason, then I would’ve lost my best friend but—but I was fucking stupid and lost you anyways. And you know, I wanted to reach out. I wanted to talk to you so bad but then like last week, when I saw you in the grocery store, and—daisies.”

“Daisies?” You furrow your brows.

“Daisies. You had a bouquet of them in your cart,” Mingyu tells you, taking a step forward. “And I know how much you love daisies. Your favorite flowers in the world. I saw them in your cart and thought to myself, fuck, I missed my chance, because I thought you had them for someone else and—”

“They weren’t,” you blurt out. “I-I even told my mom you got me them,” you add bashfully, “because she doesn’t know we stopped … yeah.”

There’s a silence that sits between you two, but you’re starting to realize that silence has become normality and you are no longer content with that.

“Mingyu, do you love me?”

He doesn’t hesitate to respond. “More than you love daisies.”

You laugh through your drying tears. You laugh so hard it makes you cry no longer because of pain but because of happiness, and you shake your head and throw your arms around him. “Kim Mingyu, that is a bold statement.”

“What can I say?” he grins. “I’m a bold man.”

“Where was that bold man for the past four months and twenty-seven days?” you snort.

Mingyu raises a brow. “You’ve been counting?” For a moment your expression falls but then he shakes his head and smiles. “Don’t worry—I’ve been too.”

You two are quick to head back, Mingyu begging Seokmin to hold the first alone for the weekend before taking the wheel of your car and driving you both to your favorite field of daisies.

“Are we going to have sex for the first time in your car?” Mingyu asks with a chuckle, climbing into the backseat from one end while you pile in from the other.

Giggling, you meet his lips for a kiss as soon as the door shuts behind him, arms winding around his thick neck to bring him close. “The way you said that insinuates there we’ll be having more sex after this,” you tell him with a smile before diving back into another tongue twisting kiss.

“Hell yeah,” Mingyu groans against your tongue as you adjust to situate yourself over his lap, hips pressing dangerously close to his. “Gonna fuck you every day if I can. If you can handle that,” he adds.

You roll your eyes, pulling back to help yourself out of the cardigan and shirt you’re wearing. “What makes you think I can’t handle it?”

He only flashes you a toothy grin and quickly glances down at his groin area before winking at you. “You’ll see.”

“Kim Mingyu, you are a little shit,” you conclude despite the way your tummy churns at his insinuation, throwing off your shirt as Mingyu helps you out of a bra.

“I’m not little, that’s for sure … fuck, you’ve got the prettiest tits in the world,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around your torso to pull you closer so he can plant his lips on the soft flesh. His mouth is warm, tongue tracing constellations over our skin before enclosing one of your nipples with his lips.

Slowly, his tongue traces circles around the stiffened nipple, teeth grazing over it ever so gently before biting down with slight force. “Ah!” you moan out, head thrown back as your hands travel up his neck and into his hair, fisting the thick, dark locks. “‘m sensitive, ‘gyu,” you tell him, shaky-breathed as he pulls his mouth off your tits with a slip popping sound.

“Sorry,” he says with a lazy smile. “Your tits are so nice,” Mingyu murmurs, bringing a hand up to squeeze over your other breast, tweaking the nipple in one hand as your hands begin to play with the hem of his tight fit shirt. “Fuck, can’t believe we didn’t fuck earlier. You know how much time we could’ve saved?” he says, pulling away just for a moment to peel the shirt off his body, revealing his firm, thick torso.

“I wonder whose fault that is?” You roll your eyes.

Mingyu frowns in response. “Don’t remind me … angel, take off your pants. Wanna finger you.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice, because in an instant your hands are at the waistband of your pants as heat rises to your cheeks upon hearing his words. Just the thought of Mingyu’s thick, longer fingers inside your aching cunt is enough for it to pulse around nothing as you throw your pants to the side and shove your panties to reveal your core.

“Atta girl,”  he murmurs under his breath as you readjust yourself over his lap so that he can have better access between your legs. Slowly, he brings one hand up to your exposed cunt, bringing his middle finger to circle around your gaping hole. “Shit, you’re so wet, angel … so wet for me.”

“Just for you ‘gyu, just for you” you gasp out when he sinks one finger in, rough pads rubbing against your warm, gummy walls.

Now Mingyu occasionally entertains the outrageous idea that he’s well composed, but he’d be a fool to deny that, even though he can turn you to mush in the palm of his hand, you also have him wrapped around your little finger.

You only have to beg him once or twice for a second finger before he’s giving in, wanting nothing more than to spoil you until you can’t even remember what you were asking for in the first place. And naturally, when you finally tell him that you’re ready for more—ready for his cock—he can’t help but grin and comply.

“You think you’re ready?” he asks, slipping his fingers out and shoving them into your mouth so you can taste yourself.

“You think I’m not?” you mumble around his fingers. You pout a little and Mingyu chuckles, leaning in to give you a wet and sloppy kiss before lifting his hips a little.

“You’ll see angel … help me take this all off,” he tells you, and you’re quick to grab at his waistband and yank his pants and boxers down at the same time.

“What are you talking ab—oh.” The words dry on your tongue when you see his cock spring out, from underneath his boxers, the thickness slapping against Mingyu’s abdomen.

It’s fat and long and veiny in all the right places, heavy balls resting at the base of it, the reddish-pink tip smeared all over with his shiny, translucent white precum.

“Yeah,” Mingyu says with yet another chuckle, watching your face as you gaze down at his cock in awe.

“I-is it gonna fit?” you ask incredulously, eyes glancing back and forth between the smirk on Mingyu’s lips and the long length of his cock. Mingyu just shrugs and smooths his hands over your hips, your stomach, and then your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss.

Your stomach flutters, cunt growing more and more needy and wet as the seconds tick by, and the way Mingyu’s tongue flicks against yours only heightens the feeling. When he pulls away, he settles his hands over your waist and directs you right over his cock, and something in you swells with pure arousal with the next words he says.

“Don’t worry angel, I’ll make it fit. You trust me?”

“Yeah,” you breath out, steadying your position as Mingyu uses one hand to guide his heavy length so that the tip points upwards and presses right against you.

“Fuck yeah,” he hisses, and you moan as you feel him sliding against your folds in a slippery, sticky mess. “old onto me, yeah angel? If you want to stop just—”

“Say the word,” you finish for him, placing your hands on Mingyu’s bare shoulders as an attempt to steady yourself, breath hitching as his length pushes into your entrance. “Oh shit, ‘gyu!" you cry out as you begin to sink down on him.

Tears pricking at the corners of your eyes—you can’t even fathom how, even after all his prep, Mingyu still feels like he’s nearly splitting you in half.

“Fuck, pretty—you’re so fucking tight,” Mingyu grunts, helping you nearly impale yourself on his cock. “Fucking fitting inside you so well,” he praises as he bottoms out inside of you, letting your forehead fall to his shoulder as you take deep breath.

Mingyu knows he’s big—knows it’s hard to fit him inside of you—and he’s feels so fucking lucky that he has you—so willing to take all that he’s giving—sucking him in and whining for more. He waits a few moments, only listening to the way your heavy breaths start to grow lighter, until you’re whimpering a soft, “‘gyu.”

He wastes no time in jerking his hips upward, shifting inside of you and battering the inside of your soft walls. You bite down on his shoulder as you push your hips down to meet his thrusts, choking back soft sobs as you feel his cock kiss your cervix with each movement.

“Holy shit,” Mingyu grunts as you begin to bounce on his lap, his length slipping out of you halfway before being plunged right back in with a sopping mess growing on his thighs.

You whine loudly at the overwhelming pleasure that takes over your body, lifting your head up so you could look at Mingyu with your mouth agape and hair stuck all over your burning face, a sheer layer of sweat starting to envelope both your bodies.

Soon, both of your movements begin to grow erratic and sloppy, hips jamming into each other so hard you’d be surprised if you even have the ability to walk tomorrow. You now know why Mingyu was concerned about fucking every day.

“You g’na cum soon pretty? Cum all over my cock? I can feel it angel, can feel your pretty cunt squeezing me.”

“Fuck, Mingyu,” you manage to gasp out, “Yeah, ’m gonna cum—feels so good, so full, so—fuck!”

Mingyu’s cock pulses inside of you and that’s when every detail seems to be heightened to a thousand—as your orgasm racks through you, you seem to feel every curve, every vein, dragging in and out of you to such detail that it has your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you scream out his name.

Mingyu watches you fall apart, surrendering to bliss, and the way your hips are sporadically swiveling over his, your pussy’s wetness coating and creaming his cock has him going into a frenzy. Frantically, he begins to snap his hips faster up into you, your soft moans of overstimulation pushing him to his end faster than he can ever imagine. Watching the way he slides in and out of you is enough to have him cumming, shooting his hot, sticky load inside your warm cunt.

Riding out the last of his orgasm with soft rolls of his hips, Mingyu sighs contently at the feeling of you milking him dry, the both of you looking down at the wet, dirty mess you’ve made where the two of you connect, his cock still throbbing inside of you.

Both of you finally look up at the same time, grinning at each other, and you flop forward resting your head on his chest as he slowly combs his fingers through your hair, other hand running up and down your back.

“Why’d you start working the evening shifts?” you ask Mingyu after your breath has finally leveled. “I thought you hated those.”

“I did, but you stopped coming in the mornings, and I figured it was because of me. I hoped that maybe you would start coming in the evenings so I asked my boss to change my regular shifts just in case.”

“Oh wow, you really do love me.”

“I already told you I do! Even more than you love daisies, remember?”

[hotpinkstars]

WE NEED THE COMFORTT FOR THE BLIND READER FUN YOU CAN’T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS?????? (can’t do angst no comfort 😔)

-> blinded mistakes - happy ending

synopsis -> your husband feels bad for the way he snapped the other day. how does he make it up to you?

a/n -> approximately 28 people have asked for a part 2. this is insane i have so many people to tag (who aren't anons, obviously) BUT THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE ON MY OTHER ONE OMGGGGG!!!! i love u all sm

warnings -> crying, but that's kinda all lol. this ones mostly just fluff!

w/c -> 951

-> kamisato ayato

it’s been a few days since the argument. 

ayato had been given an extension due to his circumstances, and didn’t have to worry about the ruined papers due to the kindness from the city's higher-ups who assigned him such papers in the first place. a lot of them were salvageable, too.

once he finished them, he leaned back, smiling from the stress relief. he got up, grabbed a cup of tea from the kitchen, and realized something.

you weren’t in the main room, waiting for him to leave his office so you two could spend some time together.

he then thought back about the events that took place. his chest immediately fills with regret at the words spoken to you. coincidentally, ayaka walked into the room.

“ayaka, have you seen y/n?” he hurried to his sister, who simply sighed.

“they’ve been in their room. they’ve been beating themselves up about the incident, so now they’re afriad of moving incase they bother you more,” she brushed past him. “good luck making amends. they’re incredibly hurt.”

he nodded, processing the information. he pacewalked to your shared bedroom, where he opened the door to see your sleeping form. 

he sat next to you, stroking your hair until you woke up. when you felt a hand on top of your head, you flinched a little bit.

“who’s there?” you said in a soft voice, unwilling to cause more issues by lashing out or showing aggression. 

“ayato,” he took his hand off your head. “i’ve come to say i’m sorry.”

you got up and found the headboard, slowly resting yourself up on it. “why all of the sudden? i hope you understand that you really hurt me, ayato. i’ve been too scared to get up these last few days because of the way you made me feel. the only times i’ve gotten up were to go to the restroom, bathe, and eat, but thoma would bring me something here. i still think about the words you said and your gestures.”

he looked down, sighing. he didn’t realize how much of an effect his words and actions had on you, but now that he’s hearing it from you, it seems like two more tons added to his shoulders. “don’t worry about it. it was salvageable, and you hadn’t ruined anything.”

“i wish you told me that when it happened, ayato,” you started to tear up. “i forgive you, but i don’t want to hear that again. it made me feel like shit.”

he nodded, hugging you tight, letting you cry into his shoulder. you felt around his body to realize he was wearing his white and blue suit, the one he usually goes out to fight in. 

“i’m not ruining this suit, right…?” you brought your face off his shoulder, but he immediately shoved it back in the same spot, silently telling you the obvious answer. 

he was glad he was able to resolve things. he couldn’t imagine a life without you.

-> wriothesley

it’s been about a week since wriothesley has seen you. he figured you went out of the fortress, staying over at a hotel or with a friend, like navia or chlorinde. he pretty much figured it would be chlorinde, considering she hasn’t come down to the fortress or has tried to initiate contact with him since the incident. 

he figured he’d try knocking on both doors, starting with navia. once navia told him everything he needed to know; that you were with chlorinde, he rushed over to her place.

“what are you doing here?” she scoffs as she opened the door, leaning against the doorframe. “your wife told me everything. i hope to trust that you didn’t embarrass her in front of the people who work for the palais mermonia, especially monsieur neuvillette himself.”

he shook his head, rubbing at his temples. “just let me see her, would you? i want to apologize.”

she nodded, clearing the doorway, allowing him to rush into the spare bedroom. 

you knew he was the one coming towards your room, considering his footsteps were a lot heavier than anyone you’ve ever known. his were tough, threatening. 

“wriothesley! w-what are you-” you started, your heart beating a little faster.

“i want to apologize for the things i said. i didn’t have to completely redo all my papers, and neuvillette understood the situation, and i was able to get an extent.”

you shook your head. “so you embarrassed me then, huh? you told them everything? that your stupid blind wife who is not even near good enough for you ruined your work?” 

he was speechless. he didn’t know how to respond to that sentence, so he put his hands on your shoulders, asking for silent permission to take you into a hug. once you nodded, he embraced you tightly. 

“no, i didn’t tell them that. i told him it was just a spill, and that i was able to save some of the papers. neuvillette is a very understanding man, and this never happens. i never need new copies or need extents, so he was willing to do it this time. nothing about you came up in our conversation,” he swallowed a lump in his throat before going on. “and you’re not stupid. you’re also the perfect choice for me, not good enough my ass. no matter what i have to do to make you see that, just because you have a disability doesn’t mean you’re unworthy.”

you started to cry, letting the tears spill into his chest, creating a damp spot on his tie. 

“so you don’t hate me then?” you sniffed.

“no, not at all. i couldn’t bring myself to hate you for something as dumb as that.”

[daenysx]

hi love <3

first off i wanted to say that i find myself lurking in your blog way too much than I should (i mean i have a life and i cant spend all day reading your fics, OR CAN I?) and i love how you write and hejsusjsjsj you just make my day, so i hope you’re having a wonderful day gorgeous💗

second of all, can i please request either a poly marauders or a sirius (or James whichever you think fits the story better) x fem reader where her birthday passed and just no one seemed to really care except for the boys? Some of her friends forgot and some others gave a half hearted birthday wish and she just feels sort of unloved? and just lots of hurt/comfort/cuddles/fluff hehe thanks

if u cant tell, im projecting🤧 my birthday was on the 9th and lets just say it was not that important of a deal for most people :)

you are the sweetest angel, my love, happy late birthday!! i'm really sorry, you deserved the best birthday and i hope you can accept this little fic as your birthday gift!! ♡

it's my first time writing for poly!marauders, please share your thoughts with me!!

poly!marauders x fem!reader, fluff + a little hurt/comfort

your cheeks ache from giving smiles to your boys all day.

it wasn't an eventful birthday for you, but it was so so nice. you woke up to kisses from james, his whispers of sweet nothings as remus came back to your side from kitchen. sirius's hair was wet from the shower he took as he does every morning, you and james watched how remus took care of his curls from bed. you spent more than an hour just staying in bed, feeling more loved than ever with their words and kisses.

when remus finally convinced you to leave the bed, james offered to carry you in his arms all the way to kitchen. "anything for my birthday girl." he said, your lovely boy. sirius kissed your lips as he handed you a cup of coffee, pancakes and fruits were just like you enjoy. a perfect birthday breakfast, you laughed at every joke sirius made, accepted every forehead kiss from james. remus was giving you heart eyes, you blushed from the attention you got. he gave you an easy smile and you blew him a kiss.

the boys had plenty of offers for your birthday celebration but you decided to stay at home. you wanted a quiet day with them, just being lazy and careless. thinking about wishes and dreams about your new age. you liked how easy it was to do as you wanted with them, no explanations or excuses needed.

you could hear the whispers coming from kitchen when james got you comfy on his chest, cuddling on the couch. he kissed your hair, your arms tightened around his body. legs tangled, fingers curled up on his shirt.

you checked your phone, the screen was bright, showing there's a birthday message from lily. you smiled, replied her long text. there were other texts from a few of your friends. well, technically they were birthday messages but- none of them felt like they actually wished you the happiest birthday. why would people text like celebrating someone's birthday is a chore? you frowned, couldn't accept the fact that you were in fact, waiting for something better. didn't you deserve it?

james noticed how your smile fell, he could see the texts on the screen. "happy birthday, love u." that girl was supposed to be one of your closest friends. you really were expecting something more- heartfelt? you always tried to make sure people you like know how much they are liked by you, texted the sweetest messages to them, cared about their birthdays more than yours. it didn't feel fair. still, you didn't want to jump into conclusions and ruin your day. you let go of your phone to wrap your arms around james.

he held you gently, kissing you again. "anything wrong?" he whispered. you shook your head. it was nothing important. he nodded, giving you a little time to collect your thoughts.

"angel." he said, "there's something here you may want to see."

you looked up, saw your boyfriends holding a birthday cake for you. it was beautiful, covered in silver colored candles. remus held the cake for you to see better as you sat up, the candles were definitely sirius's choice. you forgot about the texts, seeing them smile at you like you were the most precious thing in the whole world was making your head dizzy with affection.

you blew the candles, making a wish. james's fingers were drawing circles on your arm. you kissed your boyfriends thank you, a slow but happy tear rolled on your cheek. "come on, sweetheart, there's nothing to cry about. you're still young." sirius said, winking. his lips were curved into a playful smile.

"let's eat the cake." you said. "god, it looks so good."

"you remember remus's friend who owns a bakery? we got the cake from his shop." james said.

"who, charles?" you asked, remembering details about charles for a second. "i always see the cakes he makes on instagram, he's really good."

"first slice for the birthday girl." remus said, giving you your cake. "happy birthday, sweetheart. we love you so much."

"i love you so much." you said before taking a bite. "it's delicious. thank you."

sirius ate his own slice in three seconds. "this is better than i expected. another slice, please moony."

you kissed his chocolate covered lips fondly. hours were spent on eating cake, gossipping about sirius's workplace, drinking tea, and changing into different cuddling positions. your phone was silent, no one called. there were no other texts. it's weird, you thought. even the people who celebrated their birthdays with you didn't bother to give you a small text.

the day is almost finished, you are full with cake and sweets. james insists on doubling up the princess treatment he gives you every day and helps you with your skincare. you are sitting on bed as his fingers apply your night cream on your achy cheeks, sirius and remus brush their teeth at the bathroom after you and james leave for bed. your hand reaches to your phone. nothing.

"i think," james starts. "it's time you should tell me what's been on your mind all day."

you shrug. what can you tell? expecting birthday wishes from people feels weird. maybe they forgot. maybe they didn't care enough. should you remind them it's your birthday? no, that's stupid. is it? you don't know.

"what's upsetting my baby on her birthday?" he says. "tell me."

"there's something upsetting our baby?" sirius steps in after remus. "what happened?"

you give them a smile that says you're okay. "nothing." you start. remus's eyes find yours, worry sparks in them. "it's just- the girls and my friends from work- some of them forgot about my birthday, and other messages were a bit weird."

"i'm sorry." remus says, holding your hand. "i'm really sorry about that, angel."

"it's okay." you say. "i mean, no one has to remember."

"um, yeah, they kinda have to at some point." sirius says. "you do your best to remember things about your friends and you have every right to expect the same from them."

"i know." you say. you know, but what can you do?

james leans in to kiss your cheek. "i know it's terrible. you don't deserve it. i think- it's not your fault, yeah? you didn't do anything wrong. you deserve the best."

he says the last part silently like he's sad and it breaks your heart. they tried to make your day perfect, they don't deserve to end it sad. you don't deserve to sleep upset on your birthday. you look into james's eyes. "i already have the best." you say. "have you seen our boyfriends?"

you are being sweet on him. "have you seen yourself?" you say, pulling his face to kiss him. he smiles into the kiss. "i'm okay, really." you say.

"of course you are." sirius says. "in what world the birthday girl goes to bed upset?"

remus brushes a kiss on sirius's curls. they are lovely, sitting up in bed to comfort you the best they can. you need a bit time, you think. it's a hard thing to carry, feeling like you are not loved by some people you care about. it's not fair to the boys though. you are so incredibly loved by them and you feel it in your every breath. you can think about the others later. for now, you only need to show your love to your boys. the three people who deserve it the most.

[dovveri]

strangers

synopsis: trainee life is a lot tougher than you thought, but with three other trainees you met along the way, you have a little more hope that it’ll all be worth it in the end.

warnings: bad eating habits, mentions of vomiting and self-induced vomiting, swearing, suggestive, TOE-SUCKING, alcohol and parties, lots of feelings and trainee life angst

w/c: 19.2k !!!!! why is this like half of my entire bachelorette series jeezus

a/n: requested!! i actually dont fill reqs this quick but i had the idea alr and i lwk love writing poly i just think its so much messier and more confusing and FUN so writing this came a lot easier than writing other reqs do. also u lwk only have to read half of this and be happy yippee happily ever after OR u can potentially hurt urself and enjoy the angst but idk it’s not THAT bad so 🤗

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

“y/n?”

you blink, tilting your head up from your hiding spot under the table in the recording studio. it’s nayeon, one of the korean trainees. you hurriedly wipe your eyes on your sleeve, stumbling upwards and almost knocking your head on the bottom of the table.

“s-sorry. were you using this room? i’ll get out now-“

“no no! it’s okay i was just going to get some practice in and i saw you. are you… are you okay?” you appreciate her speaking slower for you, your grasp of korean still wasn’t the best.

“y-yeah i’m fine. i’ll just- leave you to it- sorry again-“

“are you sure? today’s actually my day off so i don’t have to be doing anything. i’m happy to just listen if you want…?”

you gulp, avoiding her gaze, nayeon was one of the trainees that everyone knew would most likely make it. you didn’t see much of her because she was always off on side jobs filming as a background dancer for music videos, booking small modelling gigs, and she was generally in more advanced classes than yours and was even set to debut in a group with a few others before the idea was scrapped. she was steadily making a name for herself even before the public knew her, something you couldn’t help but be envious of. but here she was, offering to listen to you of all people.

“i- um-“

“it’s okay. you can take your time.” she smiles sweetly, “i tried to take a few english classes but it’s a lot more difficult than i thought it’d be. so i can understand how hard it must be to come to a different country and learn a whole new language.”

“t-thank you. i was just um- i was actually just thinking about calling home and… and quitting.”

she nods, eyes filled with empathy, waiting for you to continue.

“i just- don’t think i can make it. there’s so many talented people here and this has always been my dream but i’m just not good enough and i don’t even- it doesn’t even make sense for me to be here when i could be back home getting an education or i don’t know- doing something with my life.”

“you don’t think what you’re doing now is something?”

you sigh, gripping your arm firmly, "it- it is but i don't know if it's all going to work out in the end."

"and you think going back home and going to school will guarantee things working out for you?"

"well- i- no, not for certain but-"

"so isn't the only difference that you actually want to do this? you don't want to end up working an office job for the rest of your life right?"

"but- like i'm more likely to get an office job than i am to debut-"

"i'm sure the office jobs will wait for you. idol life won't. if you don't make it, then the office job will always be there right? it's up to you though, i'm not trying to convince you to stay or leave, i just think it's a shame when you have a real chance at getting what you've dreamt of your whole life. you were scouted weren't you? did you know i auditioned to get in? and i had to hide it from my family because they didn't think this was a realistic job prospect, not when i was still in high school. so if you think you don't belong here, just remember you beat out other auditionees to get your spot as a trainee here, so you were good enough for that." she smiles brightly, her two protruding front teeth proudly on display, giving her the adorable likeability to a rabbit.

her words bring you back from the edge of panic, you've always looked at her through a lens of jealousy, wishing you had as much natural talent and star power as she did, but right now, you could see she was so much more than that, and you respected her for it, admired her for it.

"thank you nayeon." you finally meet the older girl's eyes, and her smile grows even brighter.

"of course. do you have any training schedules to get to right now? or do you want to stay here and practice some vocal chords with me?"

"would that be okay?" your eyes widen at her offer.

"yes! don't be silly y/n i know we're all meant to be competing or whatever but we're most likely going to debut in a group right? we can't just be out for each other's throats all the time."

you smile, finding her attitude refreshing, most of the trainees you had met were exactly like that, and you felt even more isolated when it was obvious they made no effort to get to know you because of the language barrier, to them, it was just another advantage they had over you.

"c'mon. let's see what you got."

your motivation reinvigorated, you spend the rest of the afternoon cooped up in the recording studio with nayeon, practicing together but also joking around and laughing, being the kids you were in an industry that stripped you of that freedom.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"これの読み方を知っていますか?"

"いいえ、私は愚かです."

you shuffle uncomfortably in your seat, unable to shake the insecurity that they were talking about you. you were currently in your intensive korean class, waiting for the teacher to appear. the class was mostly quiet, except for the two girls sitting a table away from you, whispering and laughing, pushing each other around playfully.

when you glance towards them again, one of them meets your eye. you panic, whipping your head back down to your open textbook.

the girl who saw you whispers something to her seatmate, nodding towards you, bringing the other girl's attention to you as well.

you strain to see what they're doing in your peripheral vision, but the little giggles and whispers have you shrinking in even more on yourself, thinking they were making fun of you for whatever reason.

you don't notice when the one who spotted you first is suddenly standing next to you. she waits for you to acknowledge her, but when you don't she giggles again, leaning down and tilting her head so you had to look at her.

"hi. my name sana. you?"

"y-y/n."

"y/n? nice to meet you! that momo." she steps back a little and points at the other girl who waves shyly at you. you stare back at her, dumbfounded, reciprocating her wave.

"you... korean good?"

you blink, unsure of what to say, "umm... it's okay i guess."

sana grins, all teeth, almost blinding you, running back to her seat and picking up her textbook, skipping back towards you and plopping down in the empty seat next to you. she points at the page, "how to do?"

you look down to the question she has circled, it was part of the homework set from the last lesson. you flick back to that page in your own textbook, showing her and trying to explain with gestures what it was asking.

when it clicks, that blinding smile graces her features again, her eyes lighting up and quickly scribbling down the answer. then she turns to momo who seemed to be doodling little drawings all over her workbook instead of studying.

"モモリ馬鹿野郎 ! これがあなたのやり方です."

you shrink back into your seat, thinking she was done with you, only needing you to help her with her homework, and now that she was done, she could go back to making fun of you.

but instead, momo looks over curiously, standing up and hovering over the two of you. sana starts talking in rapid japanese, her hands flailing around excitedly.

momo nods along, and then she seems to get a moment of realisation, her eyebrows raising and mouth opening in the shape of an o, an "ahh!" escaping her.

sana looks back to you, "thank you! you so smart!"

you still don't really follow their conversation but you nod, shyly rubbing the back of your neck, "it's okay."

"we sit here?"

"sorry?"

sana frowns, an adorable pout forming on her lips, thinking over how to say what she wants. then she grabs momo's hand, gesturing between the both of them, "friends!", then she grabs your hand, gesturing between the three of you now, "friends?"

your hand is sweaty against sana's, you take note of how soft it feels against yours, heart stumbling a little over itself. you nod sheepishly, not expecting sana to grin, pulling you into a hug immediately.

momo goes to grab her things, and then settles into the seat on your other side, "sorry for her. she very huggy."

sana pouts, flicking momo's forehead playfully after she pulls away from you, "you like it too."

momo giggles, rolling her eyes.

things were moving so fast your brain was playing catch up. you knew the people here were a lot more affectionate than back home, but you still felt your heart racing from being in such close proximity with sana, and now momo too, the both of them squeezed against you and conversing lightly in broken korean and japanese while waiting for the teacher. it wasn't unwelcome though, this was the first time someone had asked you in such a straightforward way to become friends, it was refreshing, definitely better than the trainees in your vocal and dance classes who refused to interact with you at all.

when the teacher finally comes, he looks a little surprised at the change in seating, but doesn't comment on it, diving straight into the lesson.

sana and momo both try their best to keep up, sana remains fully engaged in the lesson, asking plenty of questions, while momo is the opposite. she's easily distracted, when the teacher goes on one of his off topic rants, she starts doodling in her textbook again, you repress a laugh at the stick men she drew frolicking around in fields with rainbows and stars. you can't help yourself but bring your pen to her page, adding a little deranged dog to her drawing.

she looks at you in surprise, but lets you finish, giggling at the result and drawing in some fur for the dog, fixing up your sorry attempt at a puppy.

the class finishes uneventfully after that. momo yawns, closing her book with relief while sana stretches, standing up and grinning down at the both of you.

momo looks at her warily, squinting, "what?"

"what?"

"you have not good look on your face. what you do?"

"what do you mean momoring?" sana's grin only grows wider.

"i don't want to get in trouble again."

"you woooon't. what you think y/n? want to sneak out get fried chicken and beer?"

momo groans, slumping down on her desk, muttering to herself in japanese while sana laughs at her reaction.

you look between the both of them, raising an eyebrow. you knew you shouldn't, but you hadn't had real food in so long, the company's strict diet and weight requirements always on all of your minds. and you hadn't really gone out and explored korea since you arrived. you'd pretty much been confined to the dorms and the company building, eating cafeteria food and living the same routine everyday, you knew the korean trainees would often get together after late night practices and have small gatherings the company wouldn't know about, but you were never invited to those.

you grin cheekily, "you have a plan?"

sana laughs, pulling you up to stand, hugging you once again in glee, "yay!! i knew we good friends! of course, it's not the first time momoring and i have snuck out." she pulls away with a wink.

momo grumbles behind you, slowly standing up as well, "last time you got us caught you said we were helping 'clean the streets'. stupid. we had extra exercise requirements for two weeks."

"we won't get caught this time! i promise! and if we do i pay for all our food."

momo perks up at that, eyeing sana, then holding out her pinky.

sana giggles, linking their pinkies and then dragging momo by their pinkies, and you by your hand out of the classroom and back towards the dorms to get ready.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"sana- move!" momo grunts, shuffling around in clothes too big for her, a cap that dipped over her eyes, and a mask to hide her face.

"shh! you're gonna get us caught!"

"no you are!"

"okay they're gone let's go." sana slinks forward in similar attire, careful to avoid the security cameras, flapping a sleeve behind her frantically to gesture the both of you to follow. momo glances at you, rolling her eyes but smiling, tiptoeing forward and following sana.

you're body is surging with adrenaline. you had always been a 'good' kid. you've never tried sneaking out of anywhere before. you were also trying to hold in your laughter at how stupid the three of you must look, the sunglasses covering your eyes while indoors and at 9pm at night glazing your vision.

you make it halfway across the main entrance, almost to the exit, hands shoved in your pockets.

"... y/n?"

you pause, heart pounding. the two in front of you stop as well, sana looks back at you in alarm.

you decide the best course of action is to pretend you didn't hear them. after all, they couldn't be sure you were yourself right now right? the absurd disguises made sure of that. you take another step forward.

"y/n what are you wearing? you look like vector from despicable me."

curse sana for lending you that naruto cosplay. you forgot how visible your disguise was.

you turn on your heel slowly, terribly embarrassed to have been discovered like this, mind scrambling to come up with an excuse for what the three of you were doing.

but you're stopped in your tracks when you realise who was teasing you with a wide grin, two front teeth on display. she laughs when she finally sees you, it's loud and bright, it'd scare you away if you hadn't already heard it plenty of times from her when she had found you in the practice room that day.

"you look so stupid. wait-" she whips out her phone, and before you can protest, she snaps a quick picture, laughing at her phone after checking the result.

"nayeonn!"

"i can't believe you tried to sneak out wearing that."

you pout, crossing your arms protectively over yourself, "i wasn't trying to sneak out!"

she raises an eyebrow, "yeah and i'm not gorgeous." she jokes sarcastically, before peeking over your shoulder and nodding behind you, "and who are those two losers behind you?"

you turn, taking off your ridiculous sunglasses and waving to let them know you were fine and to join you. sana tilts her head curiously, moving back towards you, tugging along momo who takes off her cap, blowing her hair out of her face.

"oh! you're the japanese duo that came here on the same day! i'm sorry i don't remember your names but i saw you dance and you were incredible." she directs the last part at momo, who blushes at the compliment, nodding and hiding behind her hair. sana grins though, bowing down and bringing momo down with her.

"i'm sana! this is momo!"

"nayeon. it's nice to meet you both." nayeon smiles sweetly, bowing as well and gesturing for them to stand up. "where were you guys headed?"

"chicken and beer! you want to come?" sana quips happily, excited to meet anyone new.

"how were you guys going to get beer?" nayeon jokes with a smirk.

sana tilts her head confusedly, she looks adorable in the clothes that drown her.

"you're all underage right?"

sana looks to you in confusion, not seeming to understand what underage meant.

"ah- none of us are 18..." you gesture to the three of you.

sana makes a sound of exclamation, not having thought about that particular detail.

nayeon laughs brightly, finding the japanese girl's antiques endearing. "good thing you have me then! c'mon. i know the best place as well, and no one from the company will go around there so we won't get caught." she winks, pulling a mask and cap out of her jacket pocket and slipping it on.

you blink, surprised at the change in events.

nayeon shrugs, "always gotta be ready if we're training to be idols right?" you can see the smirk in her eyes, before she charges forward without an answer and leads the four of you into the night.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

your shoulder hurt.

there's another bout of laughter, you flinch, preparing yourself.

sure enough, nayeon's large hands come clapping down on your arm, you wince, trying to smile your way through the sting of each slap.

it doesn't help when sana realises why you look constipated, cracking up even more pointing at you with a hand over her mouth, which makes nayeon laugh again for absolutely no other reason than that you were all wasted.

"nayeonnie calm down- you're going to kill y/n-" sana chokes out between giggles.

nayeon blinks, looking at you, face brightly flushed. she pouts, leaning in close, "what did i do?"

you flush even brighter, blaming the alcohol and not the way nayeon's eyes are glued to your lips, squinting and trying to focus on one part of your face only with her wobbly vision. you push her off of you gently, rubbing at your shoulder with a grimace, "you hit people when you're drunk.""

nayeon coos, chasing after you, "awwwwwh did i hurt you? poor baby. here lemme kiss it better." nayeon purses her lips together, pushing her face towards you while you whine and laugh, trying to push her away.

sana pipes up at the word, "kiss? who are we kissing? i wanna kiss!"

momo snorts, playing around with the bottle cap of the soju you had gotten to after you had all decided the beer wasn't enough. her face is probably the most flushed of you all, but she was also probably the most sane of you all currently. "don't you kiss enough?"

sana whines, poking momo's cheek, "no! you don't let me! c'mere-" she leans forward, tickling momo's sides, trying to get her to let her defenses down and land one on her. momo laughs, pushing sana off, scrambling away in urgency.

you aren't faring much better, but then you get an idea, "sanaaa! kiss nayeon! she's trying to get me!"

sana turns to you both, and she's never one to turn down a kiss so she leans across the table, yanking nayeon's head towards her and pulling her away from you. but what surprises you is when she plants a sloppy kiss right on the eldest's lips.

you look at momo, expecting to see a similar look reflected, but she rolls her eyes, calmly picking up the bottle and bringing it to her lips again to take a sip.

they break away with a smack, exaggerated on sana's end who giggles and licks her lips, grabbing the bottle from momo and taking a sip as well.

nayeon blinks, her brain seeming to catch up with her body 2 seconds late. when she realises what happens, she stands up abruptly with a screech, her metal chair scraping against the floor in pain. you wince at the sound, but laugh when you catch her face, now brighter than momo's, hand over her mouth in shock. sana and momo easily join you, cackling as nayeon flails around, sounds coming out of her mouth in incoherent phrases.

it seems the shop owner has had enough of the four of you though.

"yah! out! all of you! bedtime! 2am now! go go!" you all continue laughing as you're ushered out of your seats. you're all too drunk to notice the way the shop owner has fondly been watching you for the last few hours, cleaning around and keeping her shop open later than she normally opens, recalling the days she was young and stupid as well. she shouts at you while she pushes you out the door, but she also shoves a plastic bag of takeaway chicken into your hands as she pushes you out, telling you all to go home and not to cause too much trouble at this time of night.

you all laugh and thank her, sana even goes to kiss her cheek, cooing at how adorable she was in her apron and wrinkles.

when you've finally calmed down and take in the chill air of the night sky, you shiver a little, the alcohol sloshing around in your body not enough to keep you warm.

momo sidles up next to you, linking your hands together easily and pulling you against her.

you grin at her, tightening your grip around her hand that she's shoved into the warm pocket of her jacket pocket.

the peace is quickly disrupted when nayeon sends a stumbled kick your way from behind you. she misses though, tripping over herself and almost falling face-flat onto the ground save for sana hooking onto her waist quickly, pulling her back up with a laugh.

nayeon wraps an arm around sana's shoulder, thanking her for the support. "yah. you two. kiss. i can't be the only one who had to kiss someone today."

sana pouts, "why do you say that like you didn't like it?"

nayeon sputters, squinting up at sana from her slouched position, her weight almost entirely leaning on sana, "no i didn't- i didn't mean it like- no but- ugh-"

sana giggles, shuffling around so she can accommodate nayeon better.

momo turns her head, "no way loser. you two only kissed because you're both so kissy."

"what does that even mean?!"

"sana kisses everyone when she's drunk. and you're just as bad nayeon. i don't know how you can go drinking with just one person. you need at least 2 or 3 to hold you up when you get drunk." momo teases, sticking out her tongue.

"respect your elders you little shit!"

you all laugh at that, nayeon may have gotten you all drinks but she wasn't that much older than you. and she looks hilarious bringing a fist up in the air and waving it around like a little angry old lady, too much spite in too little a body, it was cute.

"wait... so the only one i haven't kissed yet is y/n?"

you freeze, ready to make a run for it at the earliest sign of danger.

nayeon grins, pushing sana off of her and towards you, "let's change that!"

your eyes widen, legs tensing up, ready to rush forward, you pull your intertwined hands out of momo's pocket. but right as you're about to take off, momo smirks, yanking you backwards and spinning you around until you're met with the soft, ready lips sana has wating for you.

"mmf-!"

your eyes are squeezed shut when momo spun you, terrified of falling onto your face, but now all you can feel is her hand still holding yours, sana's coming up to steady your hips, her lips pressing against yours gently.

all too quickly, she breaks away with a giggle, licking her lips again. it must be a habit.

you stare at her dumbly, mouth hanging open, lips tingling with the faint taste of strawberry soju.

nayeon has ended up on the floor without anyone supporting her, cackling loudly and pointing at your dumbfounded look.

momo stifles a few chuckles as well, her hand still wrapped tightly around yours.

sana simply smiles, closing your mouth with her hand, brushing a thumb over your jaw in the process, then tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

you flush up immediately, whipping around and staring at the floor, the tips of your ears bright red.

sana laughs, cooing, "awwwwh! you're so cute! look at her guys! she's blushing!"

"no!" you speak up indignantly, voice squeaky, "i'm just drunk!"

"you're more red than me!" momo joins in, trying to get a look at your face better with a laugh, her nose scrunching up in glee.

you whine, trying to pull away from her, but she doesn't let your hand go, so you end up pulling her along with you as you stomp forward, eager to get home and away from your teasing new friends.

sana laughs, running after you both.

that left nayeon, still on the floor in the middle of the street at 3am. "guys! hey guys! don't forget me! come back! hey- wait!"

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

the four of you grow easily close after that night. and it helps that by chance, you're all allocated into the same dorm room for the new year. it's definitely a surprise since nayeon was one of the company's top trainees, and the rest of you were foreigners and had only been around for about 2 months. you'd heard it was meant to help the three of you get better at korean, having to converse in korean daily with a korean roommate so that existing friends like sana and momo couldn't get away with just talking in japanese when they were in the comfort of their dorms. plus, it seemed both sana and momo were making a name for themselves amongst the trainees as well for their bubbly idol personality and raw talent respectively.

"how's this?" nayeon comes out of the bathroom and does a little twirl, her hair already curled and makeup applied dazzlingly. she's wearing a pretty silk white dress with little blue bows decorating it, matching the blue ribbons she's used in her hair.

sana squeals, immediately bounding upwards and poking at her. "it's so cute! when did you get this?!"

"the last family trip i went on! are you sure it's okay?" nayeon pouts.

but then momo yells out from behind her, still doing her eyeliner in your shared bathroom mirror, "you look fine stop digging for compliments."

sana laughs cheerily when nayeon sputters back at her, latching onto the older girl and pecking her cheek, "it's okay nayeonnie i don't mind. i'll praise you anytime you want." there's a slight lilt to her voice, she finishes with a wink.

nayeon blushes immediately, but tries to cover for it by turning to you. "y/n? what do you think?"

you roll your eyes from your spot on sana's bed, more focused on applying the dark blue nail polish on your hands. "it's pretty."

"just pretty?" you can hear the pout in her voice.

you sigh exasperatedly, looking up at her in mock annoyance. "you're gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, exquisite, glamorous, everyone at the party will have their eyes on you."

you can hear momo fake gag from the bathroom, and sana bursting into giggles. but nayeon crosses her arms, frowning, "you see when you list it out like that it makes it a little harder to believe."

"ugh nayeon! you look good! what more do you want from me!"

she laughs, leaning down to squish your cheeks together affectionately, "thanks darling, i love my little thesaurus."

you grumble, careful not to get the drying nail polish onto sana's sheets. sana comes back to her position next to you, grabbing your hands and starting to blow on your fingers.

"what time does the party start again?" momo yells out from the bathroom, slipping into her outfit for the night.

"like... 10 minutes ago but it's fine. no one interesting is gonna get there on time." nayeon squeezes in next to you as well, leaning her head on your shoulder.

"that's because you're only interested in yourself."

"hey! i can revoke my invite to all of you!"

"you wanted us to go because you'd be, quote, bored out of your mind with all those mindless prepubescent boys trying to get in your pants! besides, we all got our own invites anyway."

"what?! why didn't you tell me?!"

"you were so cute thinking you were doing us all a solid or something for inviting us." sana speaks up with a giggle, "we couldn't break that!"

"you couldn't sana! i wanted to tell her and shove it up her proud ass but you just love to watch cute girls fumble around don't you?"

sana giggles again, going back to blowing on your nails.

but then momo steps out of the bathroom, clad in a very short bodycon dress, her makeup and hair fully done, the dress cutting open at her midriff showing off toned abs, pretty gold necklace decorating her neck, outlining her collarbones and the plunging neckline that pretty much ended at her belly button, tying together the cutout.

the three of you all stare at her, eyes roaming over the mass of skin, mouths open in... shock.

sana licks her lips slowly, eyes not bothering to meet her best friend's again, "you look... good."

momo smirks, imitating what's meant to be nayeon, "just good?"

nayeon bristles then, snapping out of her stupor, "shut up momo. don't you think you're... showing a bit too much skin?"

momo starts looking around for her shoes, bending over criminally with her back to you all, it's almost comedic how all three of your gazes lock onto her ass immediately. "this is nothing compared to some of the outfits they put us in when we do our showcases. besides, it's not like you can talk." she snorts, turning back around with heels in hand, her smirk never leaving her face as she watches the three of you, knowing exactly what you were doing.

"yeah but you'll... get cold."

"it's an indoor party."

"shut up!"

she laughs, standing back up after slipping into her shoes, "okay! ready to go?"

you gulp, standing up shakily, forcing you to look at her face and not ogle your friend's very attractive body. "y-yeah. took you all long enough."

"you finished practice earlier than us, you had more time to get ready. now let's go losers."

she leads the charge out your tiny shared room, nayeon gets up and follows grumpily. you look back down to sana who's still got her gaze locked on the way both girls' hips sway with each step. you roll your eyes, poking sana and dragging her up with a laugh. sana lets you, her brain short-circuiting, only able to be tugged along.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you honestly had no idea how a party of this scale went unnoticed by the company. there were so many trainees you recognised, and even a few idols that were lesser known to the public. it was at someone's house, you don't remember who's, but there was no way you could've gotten away with a party this size back at the dorms.

music was blasting, drinks were being circulated, people were dancing and grinding up against each other. it wasn't a surprise to see the amount of rowdiness going on, that's what happened when you force a bunch of teenagers to undergo strict training and diet regimes, and forbid anything that could get anyone into any sorts of controversies in the future in case you made it and got famous.

the four of you had naturally split up when you arrived, being pulled away by different friends and people wanting to greet you. you spot momo on the dance floor already, not that it was difficult to seperate her from everyone else. sure you were all trainees and went through mandatory dance class, but everyone knew momo was something else when it came to dance. she had an aura about her, one that made people back up and give her space, circling her on the crowded floor and watching in awe of her moves.

you can hear nayeon before you spot her. she's with jihyo and jeongyeon, two other trainees that she was set to debut with, and granted, was naturally close with. they were all top-notch trainees at the company, everyone knew of them, knew that the next group coming out of jyp would most likely include the three of them.

that left sana, someone people naturally gravitated towards. her adorable happy-go-lucky energy was infectious, it was impossible not to fall in love with her at first sight. she was currently surrounded by a crowd of people, laughing and smiling, face tinged with the pink of alcohol.

eventually, someone gets people together for a game of spin the bottle. you're all sitting in a big circle in a room away from the rest of the party, chattering excitedly with the buzz of liquors, an empty soju bottle laying in the middle of you all.

"okay party people! game time!" the original host of the party, jackson wang, saunters in with a charming grin, plopping himself down between mark and jeongyeon. "so i'm gonna assume we all know how spin the bottle works. and if you don't... well you'll find out! who wants to go first!"

everyone looks around at everyone, antsy, unwilling to go first. jackson rolls his eyes, "alright losers. guess it's me." he bends forward and spins the bottle. everyone watches with anticipation, breaths held.

it lands on one of the younger trainees, ryujin. she makes a face of disgust, cringing, but jackson ignores it, quickly swooping in and kissing her.

when they break away, ryujin quickly downs her cup of whatever concoction of alcohol she has, wiping at her lips and pushing him off of her playfully. jackson laughs, backing away and returning to his seat. ryujin goes forward, places her fingers on the bottle, then spins it.

again, you all wait in anticipation, eyes locked on the dizzying movement, until it slowly lands on bambam.

ryujin groans again, bambam looks like he just won the lottery. "nope! i'm not kissing one of you gross guys again, jackson tasted like he doesn't know what a toothbrush is. gimme a dare."

there are shouts of disapproval, but ryujin ignores them all, sitting on her haunches, unmoving.

"okay just because you made that totally untrue comment about my breath, i'll give you one worse than kissing bam." jackson looks around the room, thinking to himself, mark whispers something in his ear and they both snicker, "alright. suck someone's toes for 10 seconds."

"pfft is that meant to be a dare?" ryujin easily leans forward, pulling yeji's sock off and immediately wrapping her lips around her toe. yeji squeals, trying to pull her foot away but ryujin is persistent amongst everyone's hollering and cheering, counting down the seconds.

she finally breaks away with a laugh, making a show of licking her lips while yeji blushes, yelling at her and slapping her arm, shoving her drink into her hand and making her rinse out her mouth.

bambam shyly goes forward next, he spins the bottle, and it lands on nayeon. his eyebrows almost get lost in his hairline with how far up they go, his head shooting up and looking at nayeon who was leaning on jihyo heavily, still laughing at the whole ryujin-yeji situation.

his boys clap him on the back with a cheer, pushing him forward towards the older girl. nayeon blinks, turning her attention to him, realising he had spun her.

her eyes meet yours for a second, and then they flit around the room, landing on sana and momo respectively, it's so quick you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't already locked on her gaze.

bambam moves forward shyly, kneeling in front of her, unsure of what to do. she leans back a little as he comes closer, putting on an encouraging smile, looking up at him.

he takes a breath, then dives down, you can hear their teeth clacking as he accidentally goes in too aggressively, nayeon cringes, but tries to make up for it by tilting her head, pressing her lips against his, trying to urge him to slow down, but bambam moves almost too eagerly, like he's eating her up. in the end, nayeon has to gently push him off of her to get him to stop, he looks dazed as he collapses back in his spot, bright blush on his face all the way down to his neck. nayeon tries to look polite and laughs it off, moving forward and quickly spinning the bottle to move everyone along.

only for it land on momo.

"oh hell no." they both say simultaneously, blushing furiously and gaping at each other from across the circle. you catch sana's eye, supressing a laugh as you look between the two of them.

"dare! i pick dare!"

sana perks up, taking the opportunity immediately, "okay i dare you to kiss momo!"

the boys around the circle all laugh, agreeing with her energetically, starting up a chant. momo sends a death glare towards sana, who just sticks out her tongue at her, making an exaggerated kissy face mimicking momo and nayeon kissing.

with no choice, nayeon shuffles forward, crouching down in front of momo who can't look her in the eye.

"don't fall in love with me or anything hirai."

that gets momo to snort, meeting nayeon's equally nervous gaze, "as if i'll be able to think about anything other than getting rid of the taste of you-" she's cut off, nayeon leaning down to plant her lips on her in haste.

momo blinks at first in confusion, then she's closing her eyes and circling a hand around nayeon's neck, pulling her in just a little closer and returning the kiss. they ignore the roar of the crowd, nayeon thinks to herself how much better momo's lips felt against her own than bambam's teeth did.

that thought quickly rips her away though, scrambling backwards and wiping at her lips in mock disgust, laughing breathily with a pretty blush adorning her face.

momo looks on after her, her expression unreadable. after things settle down again, momo leans forward, spinning the bottle.

sana doesn't even give anyone the chance to think, sliding forward and into momo's lap, cupping her cheek and bringing their lips together. momo reacts automatically, hands circling sana's hips and slotting them together, like they've done this countless times in the past.

watching nayeon and momo kiss was silly, fun, but this, this was something different. you glance at nayeon, who has a hand at her lips, staring at sana and momo make out in front of everyone, eyebrows furrowed slightly. you look back, swearing you can see the hint of a pink tongue poke out from sana, momo's hands tightening around the other girl's hips in reaction, before sana finally breaks away. she stands up, sauntering back to her spot with a proud grin, people are cheering, throwing confetti, bowing down to her as if she just brought rain down in a drought. she thrives in the attention. momo on the other hand is breathing heavily, expression shielded behind her hair, biting her lip and clenching her thighs together.

sana does a round around the inside of the circle, giggling and skipping along in her little pink slip. she finally arrives back to her original spot, bending down and spinning the bottle.

it lands on one of the younger trainees, dahyun. sana smiles sweetly, crawling forward. she whispers a few words to dahyun, who nods shyly, breath picking up, then sana leans in, just pecking her before pulling away again. nothing like the kiss she shared with momo.

you decide you need a drink.

at this point in the night, the kitchen is thankfully much less chaotic. most people are playing the game, on the dance floor, or passed out around the house.

you spoon a ladle of the jungle juice that probably has ludicrous amounts of liquor in it into your cup, gulping it down thirstily. you don't know why you suddenly felt so stifled in that room, feeling hot even in the little cropped top and skirt you're wearing.

"y/n?"

you turn, of course it's your three roommates, all looking very concerned for you.

"hey. you okay?" sana comes up to you first, cupping your cheeks, placing the back of her hand on the front of your forehead.

you wave her off with a chuckle, "yeah i'm fine guys. why did you leave the game?"

"because you left." momo says simply, taking the cup you're still holding in your hand away from you, sniffing the contents.

"you didn't have to do that. i was just taking a water break."

"riiiight. water." momo raises an eyebrow unimpressively, pouring the rest of your drink down the sink nearby.

"i'm fine though seriously! you guys should get back to the game."

"you're not coming?" sana pouts.

"not really feeling it anymore."

"do you wanna go home?" nayeon speaks up then, coming forward to lean on sana's back, her face resting on sana's shoulder, looking up at you with wide eyes.

"what? no! you guys have fun. seriously, stop worrying about me i'm fine!"

"we can't have fun without you."

"i'm sure you can."

"no. we're not the four of us without you. we're just... the three of us." sana tilts her head like a confused puppy, her proximity to you making you dizzy, you're not sure if it's the alcohol, or the fact that she was so close, but you can only focus on her lips, which then remind you of the way her lips had been on momo's lips, that had been on nayeon's lips. yeah you were definitely a little more than dizzy.

"wooahh- too much to drink i think." momo sidles up next to you, catching your waist, and holding you up against her. she jokes, "didn't think you'd be the same kinda drunk as nayeon y/n. i don't know if we have enough personnel to take care of the both of you."

you groan, pushing yourself back onto your own two feet, leaning back against the kitchen bench, "don't compare me to that trainwreck."

"hey!"

you all laugh, sana's hands coming down to squeeze nayeon's that are around her waist, turning to peck her cheek.

"i'm getting tired anyway. let's go home."

"what? guys no- you don't have to do this for me- you can stay-"

"we're not doing this for you idiot. i wanna sleep too. i'm gonna be grumpy tomorrow morning if we don't get enough sleep and i have dance practice with jyp."

"you're always grumpy in the mornings momoring."

"no i'm not!"

"yes you are." nayeon quips.

"shut up or i'll kiss you again im."

that makes everyone pause, processing the words in their head. momo doesn't even seem to realise what she's said, staring fiercely back at nayeon, only focused on winning their little bouts of banter.

you all stand in the kitchen in awkward silence, looking nervously at each other, unsure of what to say.

eventually sana speaks up, laughing edgily. "are y/n and i interrupting something orr...?"

"what?! no?!" they both speak up, protesting loudly.

you laugh, trying to ease the tension that seems to have come out of nowhere. "i could've said that about you and momo sana. that was some kiss." that was probably not the right thing to say to ease the tension.

"that's nothing. sana and i kiss all the time." momo brushes you off, shrugging, but sana looks hurt at the her words.

"nothing?"

"wait what do you mean all the time?"

momo blushes, looking between sana and nayeon. but sana's easily emotional feelings, amplified by her intoxication, have her eyes watering, sending momo straight into panic mode. "wait no- that's not what i meant satang-"

"then what did you mean?" sana frowns, you weren't sure if she was genuinely angry now or still playing around.

"i don't- satang i'm stupid we know this i just say stupid shit- things just come out of my mouth i didn't mean it like that-"

"then in what way did you mean it momoring?" her tone is clipped, throat scratchy.

"satang this isn't fair-"

"what isn't?"

"c'mon- satang please-"

all of a sudden, sana lurches forward, pressing her lips against momo's, trapping her against the kitchen counter. nayeon falls onto you without sana holding her up, you quickly grab her waist, supporting her, but both your eyes move back to sana and momo quickly.

they're kissing for real this time, not like when they were putting on a show for everyone else during the game. and you're both close enough you can hear the wet smacks of lips against lips, the little gasps and whimpers, every breath they take in between each kiss. momo's hands have come up to tangle in sana's hair, pulling her closer, their bodies meeting and moving against each other like they were made for each other.

you squirm slightly under nayeon, hands gripping her waist tighter at the sight, the dizzy feeling from earlier returning full force. you try and force yourself to focus on something else, it was probably a bit weird, to be so close, staring as your two closest friends made out, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away, your gaze lidded at the rushed pace, tongues clashing and being sucked into mouths.

you can tell nayeon is feeling very similarly, her hot breath hitting your lips at a faster pace than normal, laboured with excitement.

there's a crashing sound from upstairs where they were playing the game, followed by loud whooping and cheering. it pops the bubble that's formed between the four of you. sana breaks away from momo, panting, hands having come in to hold onto the other girl's hips, pushing her into the bench further having squeezed their bodies together as close as possible.

"w-was that- nothing?" her voice comes out hoarse and in a whisper, still catching her breath.

momo can't speak, her eyes still tightly shut, shaking her head in response.

"then what was it?"

momo groans, knocking her forehead against sana's gently, "don't ask me that sana." her voice is also laced with shaky breaths.

"why not?"

"it's confusing. you know i can't handle thinking about that much."

"am i confusing?"

she shakes her head again, but then points to you and nayeon, drawing a circle between the four of you, "this is confusing."

that gives sana pause, thinking over the possible implications of momo's words, taking the chance to catch her breath. then she looks up to the both of you, her eyes dragging up from the way you're still clutching nayeon's waist tightly, before meeting yours. the eye contact sends shivers down your spine, even when her eyes leave yours to stare into nayeon's, you can still feel all your senses on alert, breath held, tensions at an all time high.

sana's head tilts again, considering the both of you. then, she seems to come to a decision, and she's just as quick as she always is.

before you realise it, her lips are on yours, hand cupping your cheek, the other wrapped around nayeon to keep her there.

it's nothing like that first kiss you shared weeks ago. that was a simple peck, there and gone. this time, sana's moving her lips against yours, fingers caressing your cheek, down to your neck, lips soft and wet, panting directly into your mouth.

momo forces her eyes open, staring at you and sana kiss with hooded eyes. hands coming back down to grip the bench behind her, knuckles almost turning white from how hard she was holding onto it.

sana breaks away from you, but without taking a breath, turns her head, and starts kissing nayeon.

nayeon is only slightly surprised, almost all her weight leaning on you, gripping the back of your top tightly, reciprocating sana's kiss with as much vigor as sana gives.

when they finally break apart, you're all still breathing heavily, looking between each other, tension surmounting, thousands of words unsaid.

it's nayeon that speaks up first this time. she whistles lowly, letting out a small chuckle, "so... that wasn't... nothing."

"no." momo agrees. their eyes meet.

sana rolls her eyes, getting impatient, "so do you two wanna fuck or do you wanna fight?"

neither of them protest this time, they don't even laugh it off, you can all feel the very real pressure in the air.

"dunno. i think i need a..." momo licks her lips, "another taste to know." then she leans forward, capturing nayeon's lips with her own, straight up moaning at the contact. your thighs clench together at the sound. all of this was getting too much for your dumb little drunk brain. you had been spectating more than you had been involved, and it'd be a lie if you said you weren't turned on by it all.

nayeon and momo's kiss is different from sana's kisses. they're both aggressive, fighting for dominance, their natural banter translated onto their lips, grunts and gasps, trying to one-up each other.

eventually, they break away, but momo transitions straight over to you.

"need to compare." she mumbles lowly before attaching her lips to yours. she's much more gentle with you, teasing your mouth open before dipping her tongue inside, you whine against her, hips moving of their own accord when they grind up into nayeon who's still leaning on you for support.

you hear nayeon swear under her breath, regaining some of her drunk-addled consciousness to grip your hips roughly to stop you from doing that again. but that's the end of her control, she leans in, close enough so momo and you can both hear her, just inches away from your mouths moving against each other.

"my turn."

momo obliges, breaking away from you, only for nayeon to latch on. you can still hear momo's rough breathing next to your ear while your lips start moving against nayeon's, once again, with a completely different kissing style to momo and sana. she's slow and languid, pressed against your lips until you're just about to be out of breath, before breaking away and coming back in. she finishes with a little kitten lick on your upper lip, you whine, pushing your hips against her hands as she growls, pushing you back into the counter.

sana's spent the entire time watching all of you, having enough time to even pour herself another much needed drink. she swirls around the contents of her cup, downing it and speaking up again. "home?"

"home." you all unanimously agree.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you wake up hazily with a pounding headache, vision blurred, mouth dry.

you squeeze your eyes shut again, the dim brightness of the room too much for you. you reach blindly for your glasses that should be next to your pillow on the top bunk of the bunk bed you share with sana. instead, your palm comes colliding with something that most definitely was not your glasses.

your eyes shoot open, squinting and trying to focus, as the person you've hit groans.

"10 more minutes."

"...momo?"

momo groans again, burying her face into the pillow you're sharing, hair messily coming to cover her eyes and furrowed eyebrows.

suddenly, memories of last night come flying back to you. you look down alarmingly, lifting the blanket slightly to find yourself very naked, with an equally naked momo curled around you, arm thrown lazily over your side, legs intertwined.

you also realise that this was not your bed. you were on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed opposite the one you shared with sana, this was nayeon's bed. now even more confused, you slowly turn your body, trying your best to not disturb momo who mumbles something while you shuffle around the bed, before pulling you closer into her.

the sudden feeling of her chest now pressed against your bare back surprises you, even though you knew you were both naked. you try your best to not think about it, squinting to look around the room for where nayeon could be if you were in her bed.

you didn't have to look far though, cuddled up on sana's bed right opposite you, is sana and nayeon. and you'd bet they were in the same state of undress you and momo were.

your heart rate picks up as you recall the events of last night. you hadn't exactly done a lot of talking. as soon as you got home, you were all over each other, somehow, you had made the limited space, and the fact that not all four of you could fit on one little bunk bed work for all of you. your thighs tingle with the memory, a blush adorning your face.

eventually, it's sana that wakes up first, turning in her bed and blinking at you slowly.

you let her come to her senses, your eyes drifting down to where the blanket has fallen in her movement, breath catching at the sight of her pretty naked chest moving up and down slowly with each breath.

sana doesn't mind the attention, she never has, she yawns, stretching unabashedly, revealing more of herself, sitting up and letting the blanket fall to her waist. "morning." she grumbles out, her voice scratchy and deep with fatigue.

you gulp, unable to tear your eyes away from her, "morning."

nayeon whines as sana moves, slowly waking up as well, her arm curled around sana's thighs, trying to keep her still.

sana reaches around and pulls an oversized shirt on, patting her hair down. you're not sure if you're thankful or mournful she's covered up.

"what time is it?" nayeon's voice speaks up, laced with the same hoarse tiredness you're sure you all have right now.

sana picks up her phone on the bedside table next to her bed, you're not sure where yours is. "6."

"too early. come back to bed."

sana giggles then, putting her phone back down and running a hand through nayeon's hair. "don't you have a schedule to get to later?"

"yeah later."

"... we should talk anyway." she's strangely serious, normally the most energetic of you all, even in the mornings. it gets nayeon to look up, hair messy, squinting, placing her chin on sana's thigh.

sana smiles at the sight, you find nayeon's glasses next to her bed, reaching to hand it over.

sana murmurs her thanks, stretching out to grab it from you and gently placing it over the eldest's eyes. she looks adorable.

"how long have you been awake?" nayeon directs the question to you, finally able to see you were awake and looking at the two of them.

you smile, "not that long."

"is momo...?"

"still asleep."

"should we wake her?"

"she's not gonna like that."

"she needs to get up in a bit anyway. she has practice with jyp later remember?"

in agreement, you turn in your spot again, smiling at the sight of momo, mouth hanging open slightly, black hair framing her face. hesitantly, you nudge her shoulder. there's no response, so you nudge her again, a little harder. she groans, grabbing your hand and interlacing your fingers, "10 more minutes."

you giggle, "you said that 10 minutes ago."

she mumbles incoherently, drifting back into sleep.

you roll your eyes, nudging her again, except she doesn't respond. so you resort to different measures, your other hand that isn't being held captive by her, sneaks down between the two of you, and you start tickling her sides.

she squirms, blinking, waking up, whiny and giggly.

"s-stop- stop y/n- stop- i'm up i'm up!"

there's laughter from behind you as well, and momo sits up, pushing your hands away to stop you from your attack. not that she needed to, your eyes focused on something else as soon as the covers left her body. but of course, she bumps her head on the bunk, yelping, and cradling the top of her head, her hangover only worsening.

"okay okay guys- before we talk- i'm gonna need all of you to put on some clothes." you speak up, eyes still staring at momo's chest, almost drooling over her.

momo raises an eyebrow, before she shoves her chest into your face, rolling on top of you and squishing you.

"wha- momo- hey! no- mmf-"

you can hear everyone laughing as momo gets her revenge, pulling on the back of your neck while pushing out her chest, squeezing your face in between her breasts.

she finally breaks away once she's had enough, grinning and plucking a shirt down from her bunk on the top bed, pulling it loosely over her body.

"there. better?" she's kneeling on top of you, legs on both sides of your torso, shirt just long enough to reach past her top thighs. you gulp, eyes trained on the skin of her legs. momo rolls her eyes, pulling her shirt down a little more, coughing to get your attention.

your eyes snap back up to her with a blush.

she grins, leaning down easily and pecking you, rolling off of you again with one leg still thrown over your legs and cuddling into your side.

"morning losers."

"you're inconceivable momo."

"where'd you learn that word from? my ass?"

nayeon blushes, digging into sana's thighs. "throw me a shirt you little gremlin."

"get it yourself."

"you're on my bed!"

momo blinks, looking down at herself, finally coming to realise her surroundings. "oh."

sana laughs, pulls a shirt from under her bed and hands it to nayeon, "just borrow one of mine for now."

"sana i just got one for her!"

"give it to y/n."

"you just wanted to see her in your clothes."

"so?"

momo grumbles, handing the shirt she had grabbed for nayeon to you, helping you pull it on, hand skimming over the skin of your side and stomach.

“so…” you cough awkwardly, squirming under momo’s fingers that have stayed beneath your shirt, drawing random shapes into your skin.

“wait why do we need to talk?” she speaks up, leaning on her elbow, face on her palm looking across the room.

sana laughs, “is it simple for you now momoring?”

“is what simple?”

“i love your brain you idiot.”

“huh?” momo looks as confused as ever, too early to be thinking about anything.

sana takes a breath, gripping nayeon’s hand, “i like you. all of you.”

momo blinks, “we like you too.”

“i don’t want to kiss mina the way i kiss you momoring.”

“oh.” momo looks at sana, thinking, “but don’t you kiss everyone?”

sana laughs again, “is that what you think of me?”

she shrugs, “we kiss all the time.” she quickly corrects herself, not wanting to make the same mistake as last night, “and it doesn’t mean nothing. i’m sorry for saying that last night.”

the younger smiles, appreciates the effort, “you’re right. i kiss you all the time. no one else. i think you just get too dazed to notice anything else after we kiss.”

nayeon snorts, laughing loudly.

“what about dahyun last night?” you speak up, recalling the whispered words sana said to the younger trainee.

“we were playing spin the bottle. nayeonnie doesn’t like bambam even though she kissed him right?”

nayeon’s laughs turn into coughs very quickly, “absolutely the fuck not.”

“i was just making sure dahyunnie was okay with me kissing her, i told her it’d be really quick and i wouldn’t kiss her like i did momo. you don’t have to be jealous y/n.” she teases.

you whine, “i wasn’t!! i was just curious…”

“wait… is that why you left the game early last night?”

you feel your cheeks heat up, refusing to acknowledge the question.

“y/n!”

“what!”

“you should’ve told us! or me.”

“no way. i didn't even know what i was feeling. i just needed to get some air."

"will you tell us next time?"

"next time what?"

"next time you feel anything. even if you don't know what the feeling is."

you smile, pulling momo's hand that was creeping dangerously higher out from under your shirt, and interlocking your fingers, "yes. i will. i like you all too."

"blegh."

you and sana both look at nayeon with a frown.

"what?" she asks simply, crunching her nose up.

"nerd." sana pushes nayeon off her thigh, rolling her eyes.

"i'm not good with feelings!"

"get better with them then because i'm not dating an emotionless narcissist."

nayeon perks up, ignoring the insult, "we're dating?"

sana blushes, "i don't know. do you guys want to?"

"i do." you offer sana a reassuring smile, she's been leading the conversation this whole time and it took a lot of courage to do that. "momo, nayeon?"

"i don't think anything changes between us. except we all get to kiss and have sex whenever we want right?"

"momo!" you slap her hand lightly, she snickers.

"yeah. i'm pretty happy with that."

you all turn your gazes to nayeon.

she rolls her eyes, "as long as i get to top momo."

"just try it!"

"i will!"

you spend the rest of the morning, laughing, cuddling, doing things you'd always do together, but now with more freedom and less confusion.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

sometimes, you wish you had a different dream. a lot of the time really.

it hasn't been a good week. monthly trainee evaluations were coming up, and everyone could feel the pressure. there were rumours running around that jyp was preparing a survival show to debut the next girl group, and he was in the midst of picking trainees to participate, so everyone was on edge more than ever.

the one who had it the worst was momo.

you wince, curling in on yourself, knees to your chest, head resting on your knees, while you listen to your girlfriend dry heave in the bathroom.

nayeon's pacing around the room, obviously agitated, wishing she could do something to help. sana was in practice, you knew how hard she was working recently, she didn't need to worry about anything more right now.

"-stupid fucking trainers. they're all fucking blind she doesn't need to lose weight. they're gonna fucking kill her fuck-"

the bathroom door creaks open. both you and nayeon's heads snap towards it immediately.

nayeon rushes forward, holding momo up, caressing her cheek, brushing hair out of her face.

momo looks pale as a ghost. she's trembling, exhausted, you can barely stand to look at her without breaking down in tears. she knows. she knows how you all felt about her. so even when she's suffering the most, she still manages to crack a joke, "you care about me now im?"

"shut up momo. this isn't the time for that. you should lie down."

momo groans weakly, "can't. need to go to the gym."

nayeon explodes then, "what?! you are not going to the fucking gym right now momo. look at yourself! you're dying!"

"you still think i'm hot though right?" she grins. it has none of her usual sparkle, no mischief, just white teeth and lips.

"shut up or i'll kill you before you kill yourself."

the younger girl shrugs, you can see her bones with the movement.

"don't go to the gym. you already haven't eaten anything for the last five days. you haven't even drunk water for the last five days."

"yeah and i've still got 2 and a half kilos to lose."

"you don't- you shouldn't have to do that! you're skinny enough! you're going to die before you lose that weight!"

momo takes a shaky breath, you're surprised when a tear escapes her eye. even the fact that her body still has enough water to cry, and her not being the type of person to cry much in the first place, especially in front of other people, is shocking enough. she can't hold herself up any longer, collapsing onto the bed next to you. you open your arms immediately, lowering your legs, adjusting so she can lean all her weight on you. the feeling of her body against yours is terrifying. she's all bones. you can feel each rib, every pointy bone in her joints.

"i know. i'm so scared of dying." she whispers out eventually, still crying silently.

nayeon squeezes in as well, holding one of momo's hands, bringing it up to her lips to kiss it softly.

"i don't want to sleep. i'm terrified i won't wake up again. that i won't be able to see you guys again."

there are tears streaming down yours and nayeon's faces as well now.

"then eat. please darling. you need to eat." nayeon begs, wiping at her eyes furiously.

momo looks up at her weakly, smiling even now, "you know i can't. you'd both be doing the same thing if you were in my position right now."

you hold back choked sobs, burying your face into her neck. she can feel the tears staining it.

"it's okay. i'm gonna be okay. we're all going to be okay." her hand finds yours, squeezes both your hand and nayeon's.

"it's not fair. you're pretty much the same weight as me. why are they making you do this?"

she shrugs again, her sharp shoulders dig into your chest, "maybe they're testing me."

"for what?" nayeon says incredulously.

"dunno. if i have the willpower. if i'm ready to die for my dream. who knows."

"it's not willpower. it's fucking starvation. you're not even- you're all muscle. there's nothing to lose. the number on that scale is only higher because muscle is heavier than fat. and you wouldn't have all that muscle if you weren't the best dancer in this fucking company."

"you think i'm the best dancer?"

nayeon sighs frustratedly, "i know you are. darling... please. please just- some water- anything-"

"i can't. i'm sorry."

you've been talking in circles for days. the same thing, over and over again, begging her to eat, drink some water, rest. she's persistent though, hasn't broken once. when she first told you all the news, you were aghast, angry, but not surprised. you all thought you knew what it meant to lose 7 kilograms in a week, it was terrible, but it wouldn't be impossible. they wouldn't set you an impossible task. there has always been importance placed on your weight in this industry. they weighed you every morning before classes, tracked your progress, what you ate, how often you worked out, made sure you were kept consistently underweight, just how the public liked you. if they said momo needed to lose 7 kilograms to be attractive, to get a chance to debut, then she needed to lose 7 kilograms.

it wasn't until around the third day that you realised just what that meant though.

she collapsed in dance class. it wasn't an out of the ordinary experience, they put all of you on the edge of malnutrition, so there were always girls fainting left and right. but it was the first time for momo. and unlike the other girls who were instructed to eat better, momo was encouraged to keep doing what she was doing. because it was working, she was losing a kilogram everyday, more than that at the time because all her water weight was gone first.

so she came home that night proud that she had collapsed. they'd brainwashed her.

and so she kept on going. when all the trainees were off enjoying lunch, she had two fingers down her throat in the company bathrooms. when everyone retired to go home for the night and rest, she'd be running 10 miles an hour on the treadmill at the gym. naturally, her body started shutting down. she was losing too much weight too quickly, she wasn't getting the nutrients she needed to function as a human being, her body was in a state of panic, it was retaining as much weight as it could, it thought momo was in trouble, that it needed to protect her from all of these sudden changes, so it's natural she stopped losing weight at such a fast rate.

she didn't care if it was natural. all that mattered was that that number on the scale was 7 kilograms less than it was when she was first told to lose the weight.

on the outside, you could see how much it was affecting her, not just physically, but mentally as well. you were so confused what to do, you wanted to support her, and as a trainee who had the same dream as her, you understood why she was doing what she was doing, but you also didn't want her to die. you wanted your momo back, the one that smiled and laughed and played around with sana, secretly loving how affectionate sana was despite her outwardly 'cool girl' persona. you wanted the momo that teased and fought with nayeon, the only one that could bring nayeon back down to earth when she was getting too much in her head. you wanted the momo that kissed and pulled you into her whenever you shared a bed, that clung to you in the morning when you had to get up, whiny and pouty and sleepy. she was a shell of herself now. they had ripped the life out of one of your favourite people on the planet.

the door to your dorm clicks open softly.

you're all still cuddled up on the bed, squeezed against one another.

sana walks in, a tired smile on her face. it immediately disappears once she sees the tear streaks on all of your faces.

she rushes forward, cupping momo's cheeks, checking her pulse.

"i'm alive satang don't worry."

"did you eat?"

"you know i haven't."

sana's the most emotional of you all. just seeing her favourite people crying has her own tears welling up.

"oh satang not you too-"

"i can't help it. look at you momoring. why didn't you guys tell me?" she directs that to you and nayeon, frowning.

"you were at practice. we didn't want you to worry."

"momo is more important than practice."

"no satang. monthly evaluations are in two days. you're gonna make that lineup."

"i don't care if i make it if you die momo!"

"stop it. all this talk about- i'm not going to die guys. i'm fine, don't give up on me yet. i'm still here. if you all think i'm not going to make it then how am i supposed to think i'm going to make it?"

"that's not fair momo." you speak up, still cuddled into her neck. "this isn't- this isn't a daily worry. we live in the fucking twenty first century it's not normal to worry about whether or not you're going to live to see tomorrow."

"please momoring. here-" sana starts scrambling around in her bag, pulling out a thermos. "just one please-" she shakes out an ice cube, holds it out to momo in her palm.

momo stares at it, watches it melt, her mouth open, lips dry.

"please it's just one-"

"i-i... i can't-"

sana sobs, head falling into her elbow, crouched on the floor.

nayeon gently takes the ice cube from her, holds it in her palm, watching momo's gaze follow it.

"momo..."

"don't make me nayeon. please. i can't."

"i'm not. i won't." nayeon makes sure momo is still watching her, then she slowly takes the ice cube into her own mouth. she sucks on it, her cheeks hollowing out, melts it in her mouth slowly. when she's done, she opens her mouth, showing she's swallowed it all, then she asks, "do i look different?"

momo looks at her confused, "no?"

"if i went on that scale, how much do you think my weight will change?"

momo gets it, her face darkening again, "don't do this nayeon."

"just answer the question."

"...it probably wouldn't."

"right. look, here, y/n, have one." she reaches for sana's thermos, you hold out your hand, accepting the cold cube, then you pop it in your mouth, burying yourself back to your position in her neck, kissing the skin there gently with your cool lips.

she sighs on top of you.

nayeon's shaking another one out, popping it in her mouth, then she's giving one to sana who has her hand out, staring at momo with wide, hopeful eyes.

momo looks between the three of you, you all had so much love for her, you all just wanted the best for her. it was one ice cube. her body was screaming for it.

slowly, she holds her palm out.

you all stare at her with bated breath, almost in disbelief.

she smiles, "i've probably cried out enough for an ice cube right?"

sana lets out a broken laugh, nayeon's quick to shake out an ice cube into momo's palm.

momo stares down at it, brings it up to her mouth, takes a breath, then encloses her lips around it.

she sighs again, closing her eyes, reveling in the coolness of it, leaning back against you more.

you let her, leaning back fully until you're laid on the bed, spooning her. nayeon comes in behind you, squeezing herself against the wall, an arm coming up to rest on your midriff, her hand able to reach momo's side. sana clambers up as well, kissing momo's forehead and sniffling, looping an arm around her waist and snuggling in. after you had started dating you ended up pushing the two bunk beds in your room together so you could all share the bottom bunk, and so you could use the top bunks for storage space. it was still a little bit of a squeeze but the four of you didn't mind. you liked being as close as you all possibly could.

momo couldn't shake the thought that the ice cube melting down her throat would add on another kilogram or two, but she tried to focus on the feeling of her loved ones curled around her instead, falling into a restless sleep, praying she would be able to wake up and feel like this again.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you grip your fork tightly, stabbing into your bland salad.

sana sits next to you, just as stiff, staring daggers across the cafeteria.

momo doesn't seem to mind though. she's happily munching away at her leaves. your heart softens a little at the sight, remembering how far she pushed herself last month, at least she was eating better now.

but then nayeon's laugh breaks through again, loud and bright. your jaw tightens at the sound.

"that's it." sana goes to stand but you tug on her hand, pulling her back down.

"don't."

"why not?" she spits, you've never seen her so livid. she was the happy charm of the company, people forget she could feel other emotions too.

"you'll cause a scene."

"good. then maybe he'll get his fucking baby hands off her."

"we can't. everyone will wonder why."

"why what?" she's still seething.

"why you have an issue with them. at worst they’ll think there’s something going on between you and nayeon. at best they’ll think you have a crush on him."

sana blanches, flicking her gaze over to you, “what?!”

“i don’t like it either. but we just have to trust her right?” you offer a smile, it’s a bit wonky and forced and sana sees straight through it, but it does get her to calm down a bit, taking a breath and slumping down in her seat.

“fine.”

“she loves you.”

“whatever.”

you smile genuinely at momo who looks at you in confusion, her mouth still full of lettuce. you shake your head, gesturing for her to keep eating and not to worry.

it’s not until later in the day when you have combined level dance practice that the issue comes up again. normally, he wouldn’t be near your class, sana and momo were naturally gifted dancers, so they were in higher level classes, and nayeon was an all-rounder, she was always in every top class to ensure she was around other people her level.

“they’d be cute wouldn’t they?” jihyo makes light conversation while you’re all stretching.

jeongyeon scoffs, “are you serious? he’s like… a baby.”

“he won’t be for that much longer.”

“gross dude!”

jihyo laughs.

“who are you guys talking about?” momo moves towards your group, mina in tow behind her.

“bambam and nayeon.”

“oh.” she drops down in a stretch, “what about them?”

jeongyeon snickers, teasing momo, “of course you didn’t know you airhead. bambam has a crush on her.”

“really?”

“yeah. did you see him almost wet himself when he got her during spin the bottle at jackson’s party?”

“it was so funny! and then when he went in to kiss her, that was so awkward! poor kid, i almost felt bad for him.”

“i don’t.” sana speaks up then, her teeth gritted, eyebrows furrowed, not even bothering to hide her gaze, staring at bambam and nayeon playing around in the mirror.

jihyo and jeongyeon exchange glances, confused.

“uhh… you okay sana?”

her eyes snap back up to meet jeongyeon’s, “yeah. fine, why?”

“you just seem a little… edgy.”

sana huffs, standing up again, “just tired.” she doesn’t say anything else, turning on her heel and leaving the training room.

momo catches your eye, tilts her head in question.

you shake your head, speaking up, “i’ll check on her.”

you jog outside, finding her near the water fountain.

“hey.”

“if you’re gonna lecture me again i don’t want to hear it.”

“no i wasn’t- i didn’t mean to lecture you at lunch. i just wanted to check on you.”

she sighs, sinking down into the cushion next to the fountain. you carefully sit next to her.

“i’m sorry. i just- i do trust her i just- i don’t trust him.”

“he’s just a kid sweetie.”

she scoffs, “yeah a hormonal pubescent teenage boy. they’re soo innocent, not like they don’t watch porn and jack off to every woman who even breathes near them.”

you’re about to reply when the door to the dance studio opens again, it’s nayeon.

she pokes her head out, looks up and down the hallway, and spots you, grinning. she jogs down to the both of you.

“hey! what are you guys doing here? class is about to start!”

sana doesn’t bother meeting her gaze, “oh so now you care about us?”

nayeon frowns, looks at you in confusion, you feel incredibly awkward, avoiding her eyes as well, “what’s going on?”

“nothing. go back to your boyfriend.”

“what?”

“you heard me.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about sana. c’mon, let’s go to practice.”

“you don’t? is it that natural for you to drape yourself all over him?”

“what?”

sana finally looks up, eyes red and angry, “bambam. you know he likes you. why do you entertain him?”

“what? sana he’s just a kid-“

sana stands then, throwing her hands up in frustration, you keep your gaze locked on your shoes, “a kid! i’m sick of hearing that! so what if he’s a fucking kid? we’re fucking kids. you all think it’s so impossible that the im nayeon would ever like someone like him so it shouldn’t be anything to worry about right?! you know what sounds more impossible?! that im nayeon is in a polyamorous relationship with three other girls. three other kids!”

“sana! calm down don’t be so loud-“

“no don’t you tell me to fucking calm down. you see? we have to hide this. us. we can’t even talk about us in public. i was okay with that! because i still had you all. you were all worth it! but you could get with bambam right now and people wouldn’t even bat an eye. they’d celebrate it, congratulate him for pulling the girl, all while we can’t even hold hands in public without people looking at us weird!”

“but i- i don’t want to be with him! i want to be with all of you!”

“then don’t fucking laugh at his jokes, touch his biceps, compliment his fucking hair!”

“but- honey that’s all harmless-“

“you still don’t get it! you-"

the door opens once again, and this time it's momo's head that pops out. she frowns when she sees all of you, walking up, tilting her head in question.

sana huffs, "whatever. i'm not feeling like practice today. tell the instructors i'm sick please."

"wait sana-"

she turns on her heel and struts briskly away.

nayeon sighs in frustration, running a hand through her hair, "what is going on with her?" she mutters to herself.

you frown, the events of the day culminating, you wish nayeon could see where you were coming from, "she told you. i think it was pretty obvious." you didn't mean to sound so clipped, your tone just slipped out that way.

nayeon looks down at you, you were never one to talk back, you'd kept more of your emotions to yourself. "are you angry with me too then?"

"that's not it nayeon. look i don't want to fight. let's just go to practice."

you stand up, brushing past her, unable to look her in the eye. you can hear momo questioning nayeon behind you before you open the door to the practice room again, thinking over sana's words that left a heavy feeling in your stomach.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

after practice, you and momo go and grab dinner while nayeon has to go to another vocal lesson.

momo's still blissfully unaware, talking about how the dance practice was and how much fun she had in such a big class with everybody. you listen to her ramble with a smile, not wanting to burst her bubble.

it's unavoidable when you go home later that night and find nayeon alone in your dorm, freshly showered and typing away at her phone.

momo skips in first, kissing nayeon and grabbing some clothes to shower into, heading into the bathroom right after.

nayeon looks at you then, putting her phone down, "hey."

"hi." you shrug off your bag, taking off your shoes.

"where's sana?"

"i thought she'd be home by now."

she frowns, "i haven't seen her since..."

you bite your lip, growing slightly concerned, "should we call her?"

"i don't know if she would pick up for me..."

"right..." you take out your phone, scrolling to sana's contact and pressing dial. it rings for a little, and just before you're about to give up, she picks up, giggly and breathy.

"y/n!! i miss you! what's up!"

you squint, there was a lot of background noise, "sana where are you?"

"out! i'm having fun!"

"where?"

"i don't really know but i'll be home soon! i promise! i love you!" she blows a kiss through the phone and then she hangs up.

you stare down at her contact picture, it was of her and a hamster plushie momo had won for her when you had gone on a date to the carnival. you had all agreed it looked like her and she had hated it because she thought you were saying her chubby cheeks were the resemblance point.

"is she okay?" nayeon speaks up again, barefaced with her thick glasses on.

"i think so. she sounded... she said she'd be home soon."

"oh."

"yeah."

it's oddly quiet, awkward. you start shuffling out of your day clothes, picking out pyjamas for your turn to shower after momo.

"are we okay?" nayeon breaks the silence suddenly, eyes seemingly even bigger behind her glasses. she fiddles with her fingers nervously.

you sigh, moving around the small room to clean up a little, if only to give your hands something to do, so you had an excuse not to look at her. "i don't know. i think sana's less okay than me."

"but you're still... not okay?"

"i feel silly. momo doesn't even feel anything about it. i wish i was the same. i know you'd never cheat on us or whatever, i just- it's still hard y'know? watching you be like that with him. like- you wouldn't want to see me all over another guy right?"

"but he doesn't mean anything to me. he's just- he's like my little brother."

"i know that's why i feel silly. i know realistically you'd never leave us for him. but it still hurts sometimes- like- like you're dangling the fact that you can in front of our faces."

she's quiet for a bit. you risk it to sneak a glance at her. she has her eyebrows furrowed, thinking.

you sigh again, moving forward and standing next to the bed. you place your hand on her head, then start running your fingers through her hair.

"i'm sorry. i don't want to be- i'm not trying to be clingy or jealous or whatever i just can't help it. i- i- i love you."

she looks up at you, surprised. your hands move down to cup her cheeks, smoothing out the skin, there.

you lean down, pressing your forehead against hers, breathing softly, closing your eyes, appreciating her presence. then, you move the extra inch to press your lips together, just slowly, softly, only for a second or two.

when you break away, she doesn't let you go, holding onto your wrist and tugging you down gently, asking you to hug her. and you oblige. kneeling on the bed, letting her wrap her arms around you, and place another kiss on the crown of your head.

"i love you too. i'm sorry i didn't- i wasn't aware of how it looked on the outside. i never- because he doesn't mean anything to me like that, i didn't think anything of it. i didn't realise you guys may have taken it differently. thank you for telling me."

you peck the side of her hand that's right next to your face, holding yours. "it's because you're a T isn't it?" you joke.

she chuckles behind you, "yeah and all my girlfriends are Fs. emotional losers."

"repressed freak."

she rolls her eyes, brings you in closer, "i love you."

"you said that already."

"i wanted you to know again."

"looks like our F is rubbing off on you."

she whines, "are you not going to say it back?"

you smile, "i love you too."

when momo comes out of her shower, she curls into bed immediately with you all, tired from her day and wanting no more than to sleep with her girlfriends. she hopes you've all made up and the fighting can stop tomorrow.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"did she come home last night?"

"it doesn't look like it."

"fuck she's not picking up her phone either."

"where could she be?"

"what are we going to tell the company?"

"she can't just have gone missing right?"

you're all stressing, nayeon's pacing around the room like she does when she's agitated, momo's trying to call sana's cell, and you're checking her socials and her friends to see if anyone knows where she is.

"what did she say when you called her again yesterday?"

"that she'd come home soon. there was a lot of background noise though, she said she didn't know where she was."

"you don't think she's in trouble right?"

"i don't know..."

"fuck! i never should've fought with her yesterday!"

"don't- no nayeon this isn't your fault at all don't blame yourself. we're going to find her." you step up, halting her pacing, grabbing her hands and squeezing.

she sighs, gritting her teeth, "fine. c'mon. let's go to class, we're late. maybe someone there has seen her.”

before she moves to leave, you cup her cheek, turning her back to you and kiss her in reassurance. she offers a smile when you break away, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

momo keeps trying sana's phone while you walk to the company building. by now, you were all relatively well known in the company, and the tension could be felt by newer trainees, they cleared the way as you walked past, not wanting to get caught up in anything.

you push open the door to the dance studio hurriedly, not in the mood for another scolding from the trainers.

but you freeze, spotting sana on the floor, stretching and getting ready.

"y/n? what's wrong?" momo tries peeking over your shoulder to see why you've stopped, and then she spots her as well.

"satang!"

sana looks up, there are obvious bags under her eyes, she's sluggish in her movements. momo pushes past you, dumping her bag down and rushing over.

"where were you?! we've been calling you all morning!"

sana squints, backing away from momo who was speaking too loud for her, "phone died."

"we were worried satang! why didn't you come home last night?" she says the last part in a whisper, not wanting to get sana in trouble with the watchful trainers.

you and nayeon have both entered now as well, nayeon stands behind you a little awkwardly, unsure of how to approach.

"i was out." sana says simply.

"but where?"

"doesn't matter. i'm here now right?"

"sana we were really worried." you speak up now, crouching down into a stretch.

she looks at you, her eyes are lifeless. "and now there's nothing to be worried about. i'm fine."

"what happened to you last night? you said you'd come home and then you didn't. where did you sleep? did you sleep? you look terrible."

she cringes, "gee thanks."

"you know i didn't mean it like that. what aren't you telling us?"

at that moment, bambam chooses to come over and greet you all.

"morning nayeon!"

nayeon is still focused on sana, frowning, but she greets him offhandedly anyway, "morning bam."

"what? no morning for us bambam?" sana speaks up with a teasing smile, it's anything but harmless.

"o-oh! sorry. good morning sana, momo, y/n." he bows to each of you.

"i get it. it's your crush on nayeonnie isn't it? she's so pretty right? and born to be an idol. i can see why you like her."

bambam sputters, completely unprepared, blushing bright red.

sana's smile is sinister.

"sana stop."

she looks at you innocently, blinking, "stop what? i'm not doing anything."

"sana!" behind you, mark suddenly appears, clapping bambam on the back. "last night was fun. you should invite your roomies next time! i'm sure bam would appreciate that wouldn't he?" mark elbows bambam with a snicker.

"oh i'm sure he would. i don't know though, i kinda liked it when it was just us y'know?" she sports a smirk, the one she uses when she wants sex.

mark blushes, muttering something and then dragging bambam away.

"what the fuck sana?" nayeon finally speaks up, glowering.

"what?" she blinks up.

"you were out with mark last night?"

"so what if i was?"

"we were fucking worried."

"and i told you i'm fine now. there was no reason to worry."

"we thought something bad could've happened."

"yeah well obviously nothing did right!? i don't get why you guys are so pressed. i just had a little fun, i needed it, and it was good for me."

"you mean he was good for you?"

"better for me than you were."

nayeon falters at that, hurt flashing across her face, "i'm sorry."

"what for?"

"i didn't listen to you yesterday."

sana shrugs, "it's fine. i get why you like it. i tried it. it's the attention right? it's nice to know someone else is in love with you."

"that's not- that's not what i was doing sana-"

"then what were you doing? you're with us right? so why are you flirting with other people? worried we won't last? backup options? attention?"

"sana- please- can we talk about this i don't-"

"we are talking about this."

"not here. alone."

"you ashamed of me?"

"no! sana what-"

"mark can hold my hand in public. he can kiss me in public. he can call me his."

nayeon clenches her fist, "does he?"

sana shrugs again, not bothering to answer, moving into another stretch. you can't believe her, what you're hearing, you've never seen her like this. never thought she could be like this. momo looks to be in shock too, sitting on her haunches, staring at sana with hurt written all over her face. sana ignores you all.

class starts.

you keep sana in the corner of your eye. she fools around with mark, teasing him, playfighting with him, and ignores the three of you completely. you try and understand where she's coming from, why she was purposely trying to hurt you. she just told you she loved you last night, this wasn't real. she was just doing this as her own personal form of revenge. she didn't mean any of this.

you had to keep telling yourself that.

as class ends, sana looks like she’s about to go out with mark again, but you quickly run out the door, tugging on her arm, “can we talk?”

her eyes soften when she realises it’s you, but she still looks unsure.

that is, until momo links her arm with yours, pleading with sana as well.

“alright.”

you quickly lead her into one of the empty recording studios, gesturing for nayeon to come follow before sana can change her mind. as soon as you’re all inside, you stand against the door, blocking any routes of escape.

sana scoffs when she sees nayeon enter the room as well, but with you in the way, there’s nowhere to run.

“what did you want to talk about?” her tone is cutting, she rubs in between her eyebrows, pushing out the tension there.

“you.”

“what about me?”

“how could you do that to us satang?”

sana sighs, glancing at momo, “you notice now momoring? how come you didn’t have an issue when it was nayeon?”

“w-what?”

“you knew bambam liked nayeon. why didn’t you have a problem when nayeon was hanging all over him?”

nayeon tries to protest but momo replies quickly, wide-eyed, “what do you mean? nayeon doesn’t like bambam though.”

“and i don’t like mark. so what’s the difference?”

“you went after him.” you interject.

“no i didn’t.”

“then how did you end up hanging out with him last night?”

“he saw me crying outside the company. he offered to listen and then to distract me afterwards. i had fun. he didn’t make me cry.”

“sana…” nayeon’s lower lip is wobbly.

“what?”

“…i’m sorry. for not listening to you. i should’ve given you a chance to explain yourself and understand where you were coming from.”

sana’s quiet for a bit, staring at nayeon, turning the words over in her head slowly. and then her own lip starts wobbling, throat constricting, tears welling up.

nayeon panics, “fuck- no i didn’t want to make you cry i didn’t- i’m sorry i made you cry the first time i didn’t- i’m sorry-“ she desperately wants to comfort her but she’s not sure if she can, still in an awkward sort of limbo.

sana closes it though, almost leaping into nayeon’s arms, burrowing her face into her neck and breathing out shakily, sniffling.

“…i’m sorry too. i knew what i was doing- i was being petty and stupid and jealous and i hurt all of you doing that.” she whispers into nayeon’s neck, but it’s quiet enough in the room that you can all hear her.

you breathe a sigh of relief, internal turmoil calmed for the moment. you walk forwards, wrapping your arms around the both of them, feeling momo do so as well on the other side.

“i don’t like him. i didn’t kiss or hold hands or do whatever else i said in there. i just- it really didn’t bother me before. that we had to keep this to ourselves. but then seeing nayeonnie with bambam acting so carefree and- and- everything, i just wished i could grab her and kiss her in front of him, so that everyone knew you were all mine, and that i’m all yours.”

“one day we’ll be able to sana. i promise. and i won’t- i’m not going to act like i’m not already spoken for anymore. i am all yours and i always will be.”

sana sniffles again, you’re close enough you can lean over nayeon’s shoulder and kiss her forehead.

“and i’m sorry for making you guys worry. my phone really did die though if that’s any solace.” she chuckles wetly.

“i have a portable!” momo quickly breaks away, running to her bag and pulling it out, handing it to sana with a proud smile.

sana returns it, thanking her and kissing her cheek, plugging in her phone.

“you were wrong about one thing you know.” nayeon speaks up again, the hint of a smile on her face.

sana stiffens, ready to argue again but not wanting to.

“korea is so homophobic that we can actually hold hands in public without people thinking we’re anything. we could probably get away with kissing on a few rare occasions too and people would still think we’re just really good friends. especially if we’re all kissing each other, they’ll just think we’re… all very friendly with each other and kiss as a sign of affection or something.”

sana laughs out loud, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, “you’re right. i don’t necessarily have to hide how affectionate i am with you all.”

“and you’re very affectionate satang.”

sana rolls her eyes, hitting momo lightly. but then, her phone lights up, and she seems to read over something. she takes a few seconds, and then she’s blinking up, fresh tears in her eyes, launching forward into nayeon’s arms again.

nayeon grunts, catching her and squeezing back, “i take it you saw my message.”

“mmsorry- i lov- too.” her voice is muffled, but it’s obvious what she’s saying.

you don’t know what nayeon’s text said, and sana refuses to share with you afterwards, saying “nayeonnie’s words are for me only, tell her to do it again for you.” knowing nayeon hates expressing too much, which makes it all the more special to sana, but you’re just happy everything is okay between the four of you again.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

there was something going on and everyone knew it. the rumoured survival show for a new debut group was apparently set to start filming soon. select trainees were being pulled out of practice and given the news, although they were instructed not to say anything about it in order to not cause discouragement amongst other trainees and to minimise media leakage.

your girlfriends had all been called up and informed that they would be participating. now you were all waiting in anticipation for your own name to be called out.

after the monthly trainee showcase, JYP himself comes to make the announcement.

"i'm sure you've all heard the rumours going around about the new group we're planning to debut. it's going to be televised nationally in a reality-type fashion, so even if you don't make it to the final lineup, making it onto the show itself will be a big deal already, getting your name out there for potential future plans. the name of this show will be..." he pauses for effect, "sixteen!"

there's thundering applause, but you can barely hear it, anticipating, praying he would be announcing the lineup and that your name would be there.

"it's sixteen for the chosen sixteen exemplary trainees that the staff have recognised and recommended. they will be competing for seven spots in this new group. all sixteen trainees have now been notified of their involvement, but if you haven't received any news, don't worry! i always have all of you in my mind, like god, your time will come! so please cheer on and support your fellow trainees in their journeys!"

did you hear that right? everyone chosen had been notified already? so you weren't chosen? you weren't good enough? all that training... all those hours slaving away... all those tears, doubts, connections you've lost, all for what?

you look around, other people are cheering, some are crying, some are in disbelief like you.

your feet move before you can think, pushing to the front of the crowd, grabbing JYP.

"sir- why- why didn't i make it?" you're desperate, huffing, on the verge of breakdown.

he looks you up and down, a frown appearing on his usually smiley face, "what was your name again?"

your heart sinks. he didn't even know your name.

and then a look of realisation comes across him, "oh! you're that girl that's always with nayeon, momo, and sana! you should be happy for them! they're all fantastic trainees, they'll make wonderful idols."

you blink, dumbfounded, mouth agape.

"b-but- i- what was it? was i not a good enough singer? dancer? am i not pretty enough?" you're grasping for straws, anything to help you cling on to the possibility of your dream.

he tilts his head, crossing his arms, "ah- you... perhaps it's because you're always with those three. you just don't... stand out. nayeon has natural star power, her voice is one of the strongest in the company. momo is the best dancer we have, probably one of the best dancers in your generation. and sana has a personality people gravitate towards, she can keep group morale up and maintain public image. let me ask you.. what do you have? because aside from being friends with genuinely talented people, you just seem... average."

your hand falls, head drooping, the words hitting you hard.

"don't take this too personal though! perhaps with them out of the way, you can really find your own light to shine now! i believe in you!" he smiles again, then he's off with a flourish, being guided away by busy assistants.

you stare after him in shock, a flashback of sorts playing through your head, of the hardships you've been through to get to this point, of the tears and sweat you've dripped, it was too much. you needed out.

again, your feet move before you have control over them. mind moving at miles a minute, body on autopilot.

you're back in you're dorm room before you know it, and then your suitcase is being pulled off the top bunk, laid on the floor, and you're stumbling around throwing things in haphazardly. you don't even register when the door opens and three sets of footsteps tread in, too focused on thinking about how to get out, whether you could get to the airport in time, what you would say to your parents, your family, the people standing at the door in surprise, watching you clumsily shove things into your suitcase.

"...y/n? what are you doing?"

you barely look at them to reply, voice light and distracted, "packing."

"where are you going?"

"home."

"what?"

you head into the bathroom, starting to pick off the things you needed, you could leave some things, not everything was going to fit anyway and some things you could throw away.

"y/n wait- stop- just wait-"

you ignore them, clattering makeup items falling out of order into toiletry bags.

"y/n!" it's nayeon, her hands gripping your wrists firmly, not too firm to hurt, but enough to get you to stop. you finally look up at them, the break allows you to really feel your emotions, tears welling up immediately.

"oh sweetheart." nayeon tugs you into a hug, running a hand through your hair comfortingly. you feel sana and momo surround you, placing their arms around you as well. the dams break open then, and you're sobbing into their arms, all of your emotions finally catching up.

you stay there for a few minutes, just crying it out, the girls hushing and soothing you, letting you babble nonsense and cry into their shoulders.

when you finally calm down, you're exhausted, slumping down into nayeon. she supports you immediately, and tries to peek at you from your position in her neck, but you refuse to look at her, your eyes puffy and nose red.

"do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head.

"do you... still want to leave?"

you take a breath, unsure. "i don't know." you whisper honestly, "what do i have to do here if i stay?"

"you have us." sana says quietly.

you chuckle wetly, "you don't get it. you guys all made it. i'm never going to. i don't- i'm happy for you all i am but- my dream-"

"shhh- it's okay. we... we do get it my love. we were all on this journey together weren't we? we've all had thoughts we wouldn't make it. even nayeon." momo tries to lighten the mood a little.

"but- you've all made it now. i don't even- why would you still want to be with me? i'm not good enough. you all got through. i'm the only one who didn't. doesn't that- don't you think i'm just pathetic? how could you still like me?"

"what?! what are you talking about y/n?! we don't like you for your talent we're not some talent recruiters. we like you because you're you, you're sweet and funny and caring. i know it's hard because we're in this industry so it feels like we're all competing, but you can't- it's not like that for us. don't ever doubt our love for you again."

you sob quietly, emotions still a wreck.

"please don't leave. this doesn't mean anything. there will be other opportunities. your dream is still possible. we might not be able to debut all together like we always wanted to but- but you still have a chance y/n. don't give up on it."

you sigh, too tired to argue, letting them bring you to bed, giving you one of the coveted middle spoon spots and cuddling into you until you fell into a restless sleep.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

the next few weeks are absolutely hectic. for your girlfriends. you spent most of your time moping around, giving only about 50% in all your classes, motivation completely shot. it didn't help that the three of them started spending a lot more time together, as is expected when they have to prepare filming for the same thing. often you'd find yourself coming home after a long day of practice, and find them giggling and laughing about things you have no idea about, sharing inside jokes and talking about things that happened during their day that you'd be too tired or jealous to ask about.

they tried to include you of course, but you couldn't bring yourself to join in.

internally, you felt terrible. you knew you should be proud, happy, enthusiastic that all three of them were in the process of having their dreams come true. they had worked harder than all of you, they certainly deserved this opportunity, and they deserved you to be in their corner, supporting them and loving them like any other partner would do in this situation.

but you couldn't do it. jyp's words continue to ping around your head like an endless pinball machine. how you had always been in their shadow, how he never saw your worth because of them. a small, petty part of you blamed them. you hated that part of yourself, tried to squash it down as much as you could. but sometimes when you're laid in between them at night, their light breaths deep in sleep, those thoughts come back, and you can't help but be envious of their position, wondering why them and not you.

naturally, you started drifting from them, especially when filming actually started.

they were moved out to different dorms during the filming, split into major and minor dorms so that the film crew could get some reality content. they still texted you often though, asking how your day was every night, they still made every effort to make it work. it was you who really started moving away when they were no longer physically there to remind you they loved you.

you'd cry most nights. cuddling into sheets that smelled like them, watching episodes of sixteen, wishing you were there with them. you missed them.

and then momo gets eliminated.

it's brutal. you're confused when she shuffles into your dorm room, hood over her head, dark circles under her eyes, still red from crying.

you had no idea what happened, the episode hadn't aired yet.

but your heart breaks seeing your girlfriend. you immediately squeeze her in your arms, she bursts into tears again, sobbing, clinging to you, unable to make any words.

she tells you later when you're curled up in bed, what happened and how she got eliminated. when she drifts off to bed, you stare at her sleeping face, now devoid of tears, she looked peaceful. and those sick thoughts come back.

you felt grateful she was eliminated. she was brought down to your level again. she was just another trainee now. it was terrible, but you had her again, you weren't going to lose her. you should've felt angry, sad, disappointed her dreams were just ripped away from her after getting so close. but you felt relieved instead. what a terrible person you were.

soon enough, it's the finals.

momo's dyed her hair a light blonde colour and cut bangs. you went with her and helped her pick it out the day after she came home. she needed a fresh start, needed to forget the pain it felt to be back at square 1.

now you stood with her in the crowd with the other eliminated trainees. you nod at them politely, but you have your hand tightly gripped with momo's anxiously looking up at the stage waiting for your other two girlfriends to appear. you hadn't seen them in months and you'd missed them.

momo had talked your ear off about everything that happened while she was on the show. updated you on everything. it felt nice, to be included again, to feel needed, wanted.

and momo wasn't shy about how supportive she was of nayeon and sana. constantly bringing them up during the day, wondering how they were doing, if they'd eaten yet, if they were getting enough sleep, hoping they weren't thinking about her getting eliminated too much, praying they'll both make the final group.

you agreed with her each time, but she made you feel like a terrible girlfriend. she was what you were meant to be when she was still on the show. you try and make up for it in the last few weeks, making signs and pasting pictures of nayeon and sana on posters, making some for both you and momo to bring to the finals. she grins and kisses you on the head when she sees them, saying how sweet you were, how considerate you were. you smile guiltily, knowing that was far from the truth.

finally, the lineup starts to be announced.

you spot sana on the majors side already, nayeon still on the minors side. you have your fingers crossed, anxiously watching, momo's hand is white from how hard she's gripping yours, just as anxious.

nayeon's name is announced first.

momo bursts into tears, smiling, crying. she's so proud. you are too. she made it. you always knew she would. im nayeon was born to be a star.

and then, after the first seven are confirmed, sana's spot also secured, jyp makes the surprise announcement. it was going to be a nine member group. he announces tzuyu first, as the fan favourite.

and then, momo's name is read out.

momo is in shock at first, but trainees around you start clapping her on the back, congratulating her, and she starts sobbing again, covering her face as the camera pans to her. you quickly let go of her hand, not wanting to arouse any suspicions. she tries and looks at you but she's pushed up on stage before she knows it.

you can see nayeon and sana in the back, crying, in shock as well.

you can't even listen to momo's speech.

you feel like you're the only person in the entire venue again. it was quiet. you were alone. again.

your feet start to move on autopilot again. dissociating.

you manage to slip through the crowd, back turned, not realising the girls were searching the crowd, looking for you. wanting to share one of the most important parts of their lives with you. you were too selfish to let them.

you're at the dorms again, the suitcase is out, already half-packed from the last time you'd thought about doing this. this time though, they wouldn't be able to stop you. there'd be an afterparty, you were sure, they'll probably expect to see you there, they won't. then they'll come home, worried, and find all your things gone. the only remnant of your existence, a letter placed carefully on the bed.

dear nayeon, momo, sana,

firstly, congratulations. if anyone deserved those spots, it was you three. you've all worked so hard to get here, and i'm so proud of you all. your dreams are coming true. everything you've ever thought was out of reach, is about to become reality. you deserve all the fame, money, love, everything, and i know it's going to come your way, because i fell for you too.

i'm sorry. i'm not who you thought i was. i'm not a good person. and you deserve to be with good people. i'm leaving. for good this time. i'm sorry that i chose tonight to do this, when you three should be on top of the world, in a way, it's my own sort of revenge i guess. selfishly making you feel a little of what i've felt the last few months. it's why i can't be with you anymore. i'll only bring you down more. i loved you all. i didn't want to start hating you for being better than me, i wanted to keep the memories of our love pure and joyful. if i stayed, i'd grow to despise you for having what i've wanted for all my life. i didn't want that. i'm a terrible person, i could never ask for your forgiveness, only that you forget about me. forget me and continue living your lives under the spotlight, don't let me drag you back into the shadows. don't try and find me.

i'm sorry.

when they try and call you, you'll be on the flight home, your phone unable to receive any of their messages. you throw away your phone as soon as you arrive, buying a new one and starting your new life.

they barely have time to chase after you. you'd be grateful for that. they're thrown straight into schedules and planning for their debut.

eventually, you become a distant memory for them, as they do for you.

when you're older, you'll find a box you sealed away, filled with pictures of the four of you, young and in love. you'll sit there, thumbing through them, crying, wondering how you could possibly have let them go. you'll think back to your actions, appalled at the person you were, hating the industry for pitting you against them, and then realising it was your fault the entire time. you were young, stupid, greedy, you thought your dream mattered more to you than the girls did. now that you’re older, you realise you were so wrong. the girls were your dream.

you'll buy a ticket for their concert while they’re on tour, and you'll quietly cry to yourself again, seeing them in person, grown up, smiling, singing, doing what they loved in front of crowds of people who loved them as much as they loved you all those years ago. you'll think about making yourself known to them, but you'd hurt them enough. they seemed happy now, you had no place intruding on that anymore.

you were just another stranger now. you have been for years. and you had no one to blame but yourself.

[f1fnatic]

SUR LE POINT ⤿ c. leclerc 16

→ ( in which. . . ) you, toto wolff's daughter, are dating semi-rival team driver charles leclerc and toto is trying his best to support your relationship while also being a proud dad.

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) smau

→ ( face claim. . . ) taylor hill + pictures from pinterest

→ ( pairing. . . ) charles leclerc x wolff!ballerina!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) cursing, fluff, google translated german and french

→ ( author's note. . . ) woohoo another smau! these are genuinely so fun to make but sooo time consuming. i hope you enjoy! see end for more

→ ( masterlist )

─ INSTAGRAM ↴

y/n_wolff

📍monte carlo, monaco

liked by susiewolff, lewishamilton, yourbff, charles_leclerc and 953,730 others

y/n_wolff a break between shows 🌞

view 19,572 comments

user7 she is stunning!

user10 mother is mothering

charles_leclerc that dog better not be in the apartment when i get home.

y/n_wolff um about that!

charles_leclerc oh mon dieu

y/n_wolff btw her name is olive!!

susiewolff Meine schöne tochter 💓 (my beautiful daughter)

y/n_wolff woher, glaubst du, habe ich es? (where do you think i got it from?)

mercedesamgf1 baby boss is glowing 🫡🫧 liked by y/n_wolff

yourbsf my legs are dead because of you.

y/n_wolff not my fault you couldn't keep up 😒

user44 need to know where you got that top!

y/n_wolff its actually a dress and i made both of the flower and lemon one myself!

user16 i wonder how toto feels ab this

user19 he was asked during an interview and was hesitant, but supportive !!

charles_leclerc holy 🥴 liked by y/n_wolff

lewishamilton you're in monaco and you dont even stop and say hi? smh 😒

y/n_wolff I AM SORRY BLAME CHARLES

charles_leclerc WHY ARE YOU DRAGGING ME INTO THIS?

y/n_wolff BECAUSE ITS YOUR FAULT?

lewishamilton i was kidding 😀

charles_leclerc has added to their story!

caption: i can't even be mad 😔 y/n_wolff

lewishamilton has added to their story!

caption: apology accepted ✅ y/n_wolff

─ TWITTER ↴

─ INSTAGRAM ↴

y/n_wolff has reposted a story!

caption: she's in the zone dnd 💆🏻‍♀️🌙 y/n_wolff

y/n_wolff

📍vienna, austria

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, susie_wolff, francisca.cgomes and 987,540 others

y/n_wolff ladies and gentleman... your 2024 white swan!!

it is such an honor to be awarded this role. ever since i was a kid and saw my first performance of swan lake, i fell in love. from that moment, i knew i wanted to be odette. this is truly a dream come true.

i would like to thank the wienerstaatsballet for such a wonderful opportunity and trusting me with such an important role. along with my amazing parents, toto & susie_wolff, and my wonderful boyfriend charles_leclerc. you have all shown me such support and love, i couldn't have done this without any of you.

(p.s. see the link in bio for showings 😉)

view 23,517 comments

user16 she is so unbelievably pretty

mickschumacher woohoo!! you go y/n!

y/n_wolff thank you mickyyy

user8 CONGRATS Y/N! liked by y/n_wolff

charles_leclerc so happy for you mon cynge 🫀 (my swan)

lewishamilton congratulations y/n! i remember watching you as a young girl just starting out, this is such a wonderful achievement, you deserve it more than anyone 🖤

y/n_wolff thank you so much lew 🥹💞

user5 they're so sibling coded 💔

mercedesamgf1 woohoo! congrats baby boss 🥳🙌🏻

y/n_wolff thank u admin 🥰

charles_leclerc when you called me to say you got the part, pride flooded my senses. i know how much this part means to you, etoile. i am so happy for you, je t’aime plus que tout ❤️ (star, i love you more than anything)

y/n_wolff i love you so much, mon coeur 💌

yourbsf the best to do it ❣️🦢 liked by y/n_wolff

yourballetfriend happy for u y/n 🙂

user77 she doesn't seem happy...

user44 i wouldn't blame her 🤷🏾‍♀️

user2 yeah but ballet is competitive it's part of the sport

susie_wolff Ich bin so stolz auf dich, Y/N. Worte können meinen Stolz nicht ausdrücken. Es ist mir eine Ehre, dich meine Tochter nennen zu dürfen (i am so proud of you, y/n. words cannot express my pride. i am honored to call you my daughter)

y/n_wolff hör auf, mama, ich werde weinen, ich liebe dich so sehr (stop mama, i'm going to cry, i love you so much)

francisca.cgomes my fave ballerina 🩰✨ liked by y/n_wolff

scuderiaferrari 🩰🏎️ liked by y/n_wolff

user10 i am so normal about this (i am so insanely happy for her)

─ TWITTER ↴

─ INSTAGRAM ↴

toto_wolff

liked by y/n_wolff, lewishamilton, susie_wolff, charles_leclerc and 2,836,123 others

tagged: y/n_wolff

toto_wolff Congratulations to my wonderful daughter, Y/N. Ich bin so stolz auf dich, meine Blume. Zu sehen, wie du zu dem heranwächst, was du jetzt bist, war so ein Segen. Ich fühle mich geehrt, dein Vater zu sein. Mach weiterhin großartige Dinge, ich liebe dich. (I'm so proud of you, my flower. Seeing you grow into what you are now has been such a blessing. I am honored to be your father. Keep doing great things, I love you.)

view 959,237 comments

user71 THE STREETS WERE RIGHT!!

user50 this is so sweet oh my god

user9 oh to have a dad like toto wolff

y/n_wolff oh papa, ich liebe dich so sehr. Ich hätte mir keinen besseren vater wünschen können, ich danke dem universum jeden Tag dafür, dass ich gesegnet genug bin, dich als meinen vater zu haben. danke, dass du immer für mich da bist 😭❤️ (oh papa, i love you so much. i couldn't have asked for a better father, i thank the universe everyday for being blessed enough to have you as my dad. thank you for always being there for me)

user11 i want what they have 🥲

susie_wolff Unsere wundervolle Tochter (our wonderful daughter)

lewishamilton What a star🌟!

user14 crying in daddy issues

christianhorner Congratulations, Wolff. You have raised a wonderful daughter.

toto_wolff Thank you, Horner.

user88 the passive aggression

user51 the girls are fighting

mercedesamgf1 Boss man making us cry 🫡

charles_leclerc it is such an honor to be dating your daughter, toto

toto_wolff Couldn't have asked for anyone better.

y/n_wolff does this mean that you will let him win, papa?

toto_wolff No.

*comments under this post have been limited*

whoop! another fic done 🥳this was super fun to write, i loved looking for pictures, especially the toto-baby reader one 💔 not a lot of toto content... oh well. i am thinking of making a taglist, so let me know if you would like to be on it! also, hope i made it clear enough that toto does not know how to use instagram, and reader had to help him with making a post/comment. he doesn't know how like comments yet. thank you for reading! as usual, requests and feedback are welcome. make sure to leave a comment and kudos! (only if you want :P)

[sceletaflores]

hey🥰can u plz plz plz do the nsfw alphabet with michael!!🤭🤭🤭

omg this was so fun thanks baby girl. everyone go follow rylea <333 this isn’t proofread so let me know if i messed up lol

..••°°°°••.°°••.••°°.••°°°°••.°°••.••°°.••°°°

|| Mike Schmidt NSFW Alphabet ||

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

mike didn't know much about aftercare before he met you, but he's gotten a lot better about it now. he always has a warm washcloth to clean you up after, and throws a fresh blanket over the two of you so you can cuddle.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

mike's in love with your hips. he always makes sure to touch them no matter where you are. curled up on the couch? he'll be rubbing circles over them with his thumb. out shopping? one hand in his jean pocket one hand on your hip as you walk. and you've definitely had hand shaped bruises on your hips from when he's gotten a bit too rough fucking you into the mattress.

his favorite body part of his is definitely his hands, mostly because you love them so much.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

when the two of you finish fucking, he'll always push his come back into your pussy when it leaks out, giving you another orgasm as he does.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

more than once he's swiped a pair of your panties and slipped them in his jean pocket before a shift at freddy's.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he wasn't a virgin when the two of you met, but he was less experienced. he never had the time to mess around. he was a very eager learner though.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

definitely missionary. his biggest turn on is making you feel good, and watching your face twist in pleasure always gets him going more than anything. plus it’s easier to kiss you!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

in the beginning he was goofy on accident, now that you've been together for a while he's more serious. not afraid to laugh during sex though.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

100% has a dark brown happy trail. he's not extremely messy, but he never goes bare. now that he’s with you he’ll regularly trim his body hair so it's neater.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he's the sweetest partner ever. constantly checking to make sure you're okay even. just sooo caring and loving.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

mike used to jerk off pretty regularly but now that you’re more than happy to help, he does it less.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

big praise kink!!! he also loves when you pull his hair. this man is a sub through and through.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

this man spends all his time at two (2) places, home and freddy’s. so you two mostly do it in bed or the shower, but on the rare days that abby isn’t home other rooms of the house are put to use.

you’ve only fucked at freddy’s once, mike’s too scared to get caught by vanessa.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally you and everything that you do. every single aspect of you gets this man going like no other.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would never hit you, he’s only comfortable with light spanking. no degrading or bodily fluids (except spit).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

his preference is giving. he loves eating you out, and has come untouched multiple times doing so.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends. most times he’s slow and gentle. he prefers when you’re the rougher one, not vice versa, but once in a blue moon he can get a little rough with you if that’s what you want.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies in the morning in bed or in the shower is all you guys have time for most days, so you partake in them pretty often.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

there was a lot of risk taking and experimentation in the beginning of your relationship. now you both know what each other like so there’s less, but he’s down to try new things here and there.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

mike has a solid two or three rounds in him before he taps out. however, when the focus is solely on you he can take the time to give you orgasm after orgasm after orgasm.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he didn't own any toys before meeting you, now there's a small collection you’ve both amassed and use stuffed in a cardboard box sitting on the highest shelf in his closet. he’ll use them on himself from time to time but he prefers using vibrators on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

mike doesn’t tease simply because he doesn’t have the patience or ability to hold back from diving into your pussy. he loves to be teased by you though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

mike is so loud. he just can't hold in his whiny whimpers and breathy moans. yes this man whimpers no one is surprised.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

mike comes a shocking amount. like this man comes buckets. the first time you blew him he was so caught up in pleasure that he forgot to warn you before it was too late. he absolutely flooded your mouth and drenched your face in come. he was mortified and apologized profusely until you got over the shock enough to show him how much you liked it by riding him so hard you both almost passed out.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

a respectable six inches, and girthy. shaft is creamy beige. tip is EC9EC0 pink. gains two inches when hard and curves up towards his stomach.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

mike says he doesn’t have a high sex drive but this man pounces on you any chance he can get. he comes up behind you when you’re making food and feels you up. he jumps into the shower with you to “save water”. he grinds his morning wood against your ass when you first wake up. this man is insatiable.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

mike is usually bone tired after but he always stays up to make sure you’re taken care of. when you’re both tucked in he can fall asleep in like fifteen minutes.

..••°°°°••.°°••.••°°.••°°°°••.°°••.••°°.••°°°

taglist!

@ebodebo @yuenity @mfdxz

[chaithetics]

Hello!!! Hope ur doing well <3

I looooved the way u wrote Matt n I wanted to ask if u could do a nsfw alphabet about him? But I also noticed on ur masterlist u havent written one yet and if u dont want to thats fine :>

Matt Murdock NSFW Alphabet

Hello lovely Nonnie! Thank you for sending this through, this was a nice, quick and fun piece to do so thanks for sending it through. Happy to do nsfw nbcs, I just never have had a request for one before. It's obviously my first time, so I hope you enjoy! Do let me know what you think! :)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI!!!, smutty smut smut I guess? Not proof or beta read!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

This man lives for aftercare. Matt Murdock is without a doubt, absolutely obsessed with physical touch and indulging in it after the act as a form of aftercare, no matter the type of sex you just had, oral or penetrative. He’s obsessed with your body and how your skin feels against his and how your skin feels when he runs his fingertips over goosebumps, scars, moles, stretch marks, all of your curves and muscles. He likes to be clean but even if he’s sweaty he still likes to cuddle you, he needs to feel your skin against his, to press his head into your neck to tickle your sensitive skin and to deeply inhale your scent. He’s attentive to any needs you have, he smiles as he listens to your heart steadily beating and relaxing from that high, and he’s extremely affectionate. If you have hair he’ll be playing with it however he knows that you like and if not, he’ll be caressing your face gently as well while you cuddle. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part of a partner’s is their mouth/lips. He loves the way that his partner’s mouth feels against his, how soft it is to kiss, the shape of your lips and tracing them with his fingertips, how he can feel your lips move and it affects the rest of your face when you smile and laugh, how your mouth is where your gorgeous laugh comes from, your voice, and also the moans he loves to hear from you. 

His favourite body part of his, is his hands. He loves physical touch and his hands allow him to indulge in that sense by being affectionate and being able to touch your body all over. He can caress you with his hands, feel the goosebumps along your bare skin when you strip down, he can feel how you clench around his digits when he’s inside of you. His hands are the perfect way for him to indulge in you. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s a Catholic… He’d use the preferred protection methods of his partners but he has no issue with cum. I don’t know if this is a controversial take, but Matt Murdock is certainly into cumplay… 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to explore his submissive side more, he likes the slight feeling of dominance with a partner who bites him, he likes his neck being bitten. He either hasn’t tried pegging but really wants to be pegged, or he’s been pegged and really loves it but it takes him a little while to work up to feeling comfortable communicating that. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

To absolutely nobody’s surprise, Matt is extremely experienced. He has a playful charm that makes everyone in a five-block radius swoon. As Foggy has pointed out over and over again, he’s an absolute magnet for beautiful people of all shapes, sizes, and colours, and people absolutely fall for his handsome, tortured soul energy that he brings to everything. He certainly didn’t shy away from the attention in college he got for his looks and charm, one of the only ‘sins’ he didn’t feel the need to repent for in his college years. Foggy’s jokes have been longstanding in Matt’s life. He’s an experienced icon, he knows what he likes now and he knows how to please. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Matt’s favourite position is positions of cuddle and spooning sex. He loves the intimacy of becoming one and being as physically close to each other as possible, the position is sensual and intimate and he loves being able to press right up against you, your buddies wrap around each other and having his face pressed so closely to you. He can feel everything about you with all of his senses in the most overwhelming and amazing way. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Matt is a more serious lover, there’s gentle caresses and words spoken that are filled with love and need. Sometimes, in a slightly more cockier mood he may be a little less serious and have that devilish grin on his face and make a couple of more teasing comments and witty remarks to spice things up while he’s bringing you to release, but generally he’s more serious when you two are together during sex. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

Matt likes to be well-groomed in general and that applies to all of him including downstairs, he doesn’t necessarily like shaving down there but his preference is that he likes to keep things tidy and trimmed for himself. A view he’d never oppose on others and he’d never criticise or be put off by hair or a lack of.  

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

The intimacy is never lacking with Matt, he’s proud on his lovemaking abilities and he knows he’s an expert of the art of making partners swoon with his big brown eyes and charms. Matt is a passionate, sensual, lover who always makes sure you feels special and checks in on you in the sweetest, most genuine but also hot ways. He knows just how to romance you up and make the foreplay incredible with the goal of giving you as much pleasure as possible. He loves intimacy, there’s lots of affectionate touching, the sex often is in cuddling positions. His body moves in ways to reassure you of how much he yearns and worships you, his words are filled with love and passion during sex. He makes it intimate and filled with love. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t jack off very often. He prefers being intimate with others and he’s always had plenty of opportunities for mutual pleasure with others that he’s rarely felt the need to pleasure himself like that. He rarely does, and whenever he has he usually does it in the shower. He tries to focus on the feelings of pleasure and on the sound of the shower water running to drown out the rest of the overwhelming landscape of New York while he chases his high with swift strokes. But he prefers the feeling of someone else’s hands, fortunately, he has you now. And your hands are better than any feeling he could ever give himself. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Matt’s delved into and is pretty into bondage. He likes the feeling of the power dynamics, the gain and loss of power and control, how it feels on skin. He doesn’t mind who is who, he’s more than happy to be tied up for you and to surrender that type of control to you. He trusts you and wants to be used to give you as much pleasure as possible. But he’s also more than okay with being the one to tie you up and feel those materials against your skin and wear his signature smirk as he does. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Matt isn’t an exhibitionist and he’s not really into public or outdoors sex. He much prefers to keep sex in the privacy of his own home, the world is often overwhelming for him and there’s always a million things going on, in his little private corner that’s home, his partner can be just all his and it’s much easier for him to focus on and enjoy being with his partner. He loves the comfort and intimacy of keeping it in the bedroom, but Matt also loves the intimacy of spooning and cuddle sex on the couch. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Matt’s a giver, a pleaser, what gets him going is the mere idea of pleasuring you, he just wants to please you and give you the sweet, sweet, sweet release you deserve. It’s what turns him on and what gets him going, you always need to orgasm first, that’s his goal during intimacy and he tried to create an orgasm gap, one that’s in your favour. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s into bondage and we know that he has nothing against some light choking, but beyond that, he’s the type of man who still tries to be as good and respectful as possible. He wouldn’t be into more rough and violent sex or the more hardcore side of BDSM, he’d always be too scared to hurt his partners and the idea of inflicting intentional pain like that makes him very uncomfortable. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Matt is more than okay with receiving oral but there’s not doubt about it, he significantly prefers giving oral instead of receiving. As we’ve already clarified, he’s a giver. He wants to give you oral as much as you want him to, he’d happily spend his life buried in you, holding onto, gripping and caressing your thighs as he does. He’s obsessed with your taste, the way your body reacts as he’s pleasuring you and how he can sense everything going on with your hormones, pheromones, heartbeat, your breathing and then again as you orgasm. He loves to give oral and he’s absolutely skilled at it, he’s a king of it. He knows just how to use his mouth in the best possible way that makes you feel so good and gets you in your favourite places. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His pace and style is always sensual when he’s with you. He’s done faster paced sex and sex that’s been more rough but he loves slow, sensual lovemaking while he cuddles and buries himself deep into you with a perfect pace that makes it last and is the definition of sensual. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

He likes to go all out with sex, for everyone involved to get their fair share of orgasms. Matt isn’t the biggest fan of his quickies but in angsty moments, he has been known to have a more angsty, potentially more rougher quickie than his usual slower and sensual lovemaking. It’s still filled with passion though. But he doesn’t do quickies often. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Matt’s definitely game to experiment and to communicate about it, listen to ideas with an open-mind and he’s curious in a charming way about things. He’s open to trying new positions, new toys, some different styles and dynamics. But he’s not into risks or experimentation that’s on the more moderate to extreme side of the spectrum. He’s not an exhibitionist type so he wouldn’t take those kind of risks with sexual activity and he wouldn’t be into risks in the world of bodily harm for example. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Matt lives off giving pleasure in the bedroom and is more than content with just going one round or having one orgasm if you’ve received everything you wanted and needed. He’s flexible and happy to please. But it also goes without saying that this man is the definition of sexual stamina, he can easily go multiple rounds and has no issue with lasting long. His rounds definitely aren’t short. He’s only interested in multiple rounds though if it’s what you crave. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Matt never owned toys and didn’t use them on himself, over time he started to experiment with toys and would happily use them on partners and had nothing against them really. He’d always smile while holding one in his hands, feeling it as a partner told him what it did and how it was used. This man has no security issues with toys, and views them as aids and fun, not competition.

 After dating you, there’s a drawer in the dresser that has a few different toys which he has no issue with. He’s definitely more experienced with them now, having tried things like vibrating strokers but he much prefers using toys on his partner. There’s an immediate smirk on his face as he turns them on, starts using them and hears your sweet noises and feels your body react. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s a pleaser and a giver, he’s not really into edging because he just wants to give you pleasure, as much of it as he can, as soon as possible. There are times where he can be a bit playful and tease you, but you don’t even really need to beg for him to stop teasing and give in. He’s just so eager to please and doesn’t want to waste time when he could be loving on your body and making you so happy. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Matt’s pretty vocal and he’s not ashamed of that. He lets out a lot of groans as his brow furrows during sex, it’s an automatic response from him, he naturally makes noises, he’s known to whimper when he’s feeling sensitive and overstimulated, he moans but its his groans that are his loudest, most often and sexiest noise. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

That he can become a really needy and clingy lover, especially if you’re coming to the end after a day of multiple rounds. He’s always got to have at least one hand of his on you, he smothers you in kisses. He has you laid on the bed and he’s just still lazily going down on you, slowly as if you’re a dessert that he needs to be savoured. You also happen to be the best dessert he’s ever been able to put in his mouth and enjoy. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Whatever you rock with! 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Generally, Matt Murdock has a longing in his bones that his eyes cannot hide and pierces you with a desperate yearning for touch and love, in that type of matter of the word. But his sex drive is moderate and flexible, he gets a lot of pleasure out of giving pleasure so he doesn’t have an issue being with partners with lower or higher sex drives. He’s someone though who would be happy to just give much more often than receive or have penetrative intercourse as well though. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It depends. He’s big on aftercare and physical affection, so he definitely prioritises that and wouldn’t fall asleep immediately as he’d want to spend time cuddling and talking. After a long ‘double-shift’ of his lawyer by day and vigilante by night lifestyle, there would be times after sex where he would cuddle you and after a bit of talk, he’d fall asleep cuddling you and listening to the drum of your heartbeat as it lulls him to sleep. But sometimes he just likes to cuddle and talk to a ridiculous hour in the morning, he’s definitely an insomniac.

[rinstaro]

OMGOMGOGMI HIIII

I MISSE DYOU SMMMM

I’m so happy ur back and and I js wanted to let u kno ur so strong bestie! <3333

now, I have but a wee thought I would like to share. An offering, if you will.

late night sleepy cuddles with sky (or really any of the boys tbh) and they sneak their hand into them Panties and start mindlessly making you cream but you can’t do anything about it because they have you in a death grip and your writhing and your legs are shaking and omg- and they just did it cause they felt like it. they were just like “omg ur literally so cute now cum you whore”

anyways that’s what’s been happening in my crusty little rat brain lately

k bye! <333

-💫

oh. you missed me? oh that makes me so happy !!!!!!!

i like this offering!!!! imma do sky and just a short twilight for this <33 thank you star

cw: overstim, mean boys, twilight is sweet but he’s really not, sky has a wet dream, fingering, coochie eating, consensual somnophilia, reader has a vagina no pronouns!

minors do not interact.

sky

sky awoke from his nap with a throbbing pain. said pain coming from his dick being so hard. he knows it’s bound to happen as a guy, but his problem is that you’re right next to him. still sleeping.

sky had dreamt of you. he dreamt that your soft, sweet body was shaking, writhing in pleasure while you called his name. he was startled when he awoke to find out that your sweet cunt was indeed not wrapped around him like a vice. he slowly sat up, gazing at your form. you looked perfect to him.

he pulled you closer to him, pressing his hard cock against your ass. he couldn't help but squeeze the soft flesh. he adored that you slept in panties, or sometimes nothing at all. he groaned at the pressure as he hid his face in your neck. one hand stayed wrapped around your waist while the other slipped into your panties.

he loved the feeling of your folds between his fingers. he sighs shakily, rubbing slow circles on your clit. you stirred only slightly, letting out sleepy little groans. sky really couldn't help himself. he began to grind into you, his dick straining against his shorts. he hissed, slightly speeding up his pace on your clit.

you began to twitch, soft whimpers leaving your lips. sky imagined how you'd whimper when he was drilling his cock into you. he let out a needy groan. he felt you grow wetter and wetter under his fingers. slowly, he slipped two fingers into your cunt, his breath hitching at just how tight you were. you stirred even more, your legs beginning to clench around his arm. okay, he's had enough. he lifts your leg, giving him as much access as he needs. he wasn't a selfish man, though. he'd let you cum before fucking your cunt.

the sudden movement jolted you awake, your eyes fluttering open. "b... baby?" your sleepy voice sends him over the edge. sky began to pump his fingers in and out of you, curling them harshly.

you clutched the sheets, body overwhelmed with such a sudden jolt of pleasure. your cunt only grew wetter as he fucked you with his fingers. "b-babe! hahh, wait-"

"come on, pretty, don't you wanna cum for me? feels good, yeah? slutty cunt's dripping."

you can only respond with a weak moan, your leg twitching in his hold. your body began to shake, your orgasm hitting you so viciously. you try to pull your leg away, but his grip only tightens. "b-babe, c-cumming! s-slow down!"

your cries fall on deaf ears, sky continuing to grind against your ass. he grunts lowly, only speeding up the pace of his hand. you squeal, hips wriggling away from his.

"pretty, so pretty, n-need you to cum some more. come on, slut, we just started. give me more."

twilight

he’s just now slipping into bed after a long days work. you blink slowly, still a little groggy but happy that he was home. his hands grasped your hips tightly. “l…link?”

as soon as his name left your lips, you were flipped over on your back and pulled closer by your thighs. “hey, darlin’. gonna cum like a whore for me, ‘kay?” your husband kissed wildly all over your neck and chest, not even giving you a chance to breathe. you writhe and moan, the sudden pleasure wracking your poor body.

“l-link! a-ahh, slow—“ you kept getting cut off by your own moans as he kissed your chest, making sure to give your hardened nipples plenty of attention. he kissed all the way down your stomach, making you jolt. then, your sleep shorts were off in an instant.

like the animal he was, he pressed his nose to your mound and inhaled. you gasped out of shock, body jerking in his hold. he does nothing but growl and pull you closer, diving in to taste your sweet cunt. he’d been dreaming about you all day. work should have never dragged on for so long. he was craving a taste of you so badly he could go mad.

your back arched and you grabbed at his hair, pulling his strands. he slurps and sucks at your wet cunt, never stopping for a moment to breathe. you could only let out weak moans at the feeling, your body being fully awake now. you jolted and squirmed from your sensitivity, but he had no plans on letting you go.

he could feel your orgasm before you can. it hits you so quickly you can barely think. “f-fuck! link!”

this does nothing to stop him. he keeps lapping at your poor cunt, desperate to have all of your cream down his throat. you push at his head, clamping your legs around his ears.

“fuckfuckfuckfuck link! e-enough!”

he pulls away from your cunt only to growl. “quiet. let me finish.” he dives right back in, showing no mercy for your sorry cunt.

[miguelhugger2099]

Hiii, I’m in love with your writing it’s a comfort for me atp. Could you please do grumpy reader where she doesn’t talk to others a lot. That makes Miguel look like an extrovert (even though we both know that’s not true 😭). Happy Easter 🐣 and or any holiday you celebrate.

Two Peas in a Pod

c.....comfort,,,,, sad hamster meme the highest honor i could ever get omg thank you i really liked this ask because its basically me haha my friend actually told me ive gotten better at being more welcoming and "nice" and another friend would tell me that i could never mask my uncomfortableness if someone was bothering me LMFAO but as alwayyssssss i can rewrite this request for u if ur not satisfied :) Art: nellwhre17 on instagram

Spider-People were supposed to be funny and outgoing. It was in their canon to have some resemblance to the original quippy and humorous Spider-Man. If not outgoing then at least a little endearing and sweet.

So the Spider Society is a little thrown off when you’re introduced to the team by Miguel. Both of your arms are crossed, your face blank and looking over other Spiders with neutrality. 

“Here’s our new recruit. She’ll be working more with Margo and Lyla. Think of her as one of your superiors like myself or Jess or Peter B.” Miguel tilts his head at all the other Spiders. “That’s all. Dismissed.”

He turns to face back to his console, returning to work on new files Lyla had presented to him. Some Spiders stay to chat with you. They don’t notice the slight discomfort and annoyance in your face.

“Hey! My name is Peter M! I think we might be the same age!” One says, his mask squinting to look like he’s smiling.

“Have you gone on a mission yet? What Earth are you from?”

“Has Miguel explained The Canon to you yet? It’s a little overwhelming, I know.”

The commotion irks you a bit, the Spiders coming into your personal space so you shuffle away and your brows instinctively scrunch together. “No, I’m fine.” You mutter curtly. The others finally see the change in your demeanor and they awkwardly step back.

Miguel turns over to see the few Spiders around and barks at them to stop. “She’s still new to all this so don’t go around pestering her.” 

They smile wearily up at him then at you, whose face is still contorted a bit in a way that looks like you’re obviously still being bothered. 

They get the message and wave goodbye to you but not without feeling a chill down their spine at how cold you were. Maybe you were just shy. Everything is and always will be overwhelming around here with different variants of yourself. So, they believed in time you’d come around like the others.

You, in fact, did not come around. After weeks, months even, you still came in and left without a word. Get in and get out. You rarely engaged in conversation and if you were in a group, you’d keep to yourself. If someone tried to include you, you’d just say a few blunt words that didn’t move the conversation at all so there'd be an awkward standstill before moving on.

No matter what, no one knew anything else about you besides your name, you were a Spider-Woman and the name of your Earth.

Even the esteemed group of young SpiderLings couldn’t even get you to open up. Jess and Gwen had just come back from a mission, wanting to eat at the cafeteria before heading home. They had found seats beside Hobie and Pav who were just catching up together.

Pav had mentioned trying to talk to you once but his bright personality pushed you further and further away from him, your responses to his questions becoming more and more short and quick.

“I’ve never met such a complicated individual.” He pouts, crossing his arms on the table.

“Don’ bother me none. I don’ like someone tryin’ to bug me either.” Hobie scratches the back of his neck. 

“Would’ve thought they opened up by now.” Gwen brushed her hair out her face. “It’s like pulling teeth with her.”

“She just seems kinda grumpy sometimes…” Pav sighs resting his head in his arms. “Even more than Miguel which feels wrong.” 

“Yeah, at least Miguel snaps at you but she…kinda just sits there.” Gwen leans back with a weak smile. “Not really sure how to make conversation when she’s so quiet.”

“She just doesn’t feel like talking, guys. Go easy on her.” Jess rubs her temples. 

Their conversation is cut short when Miguel walks through the cafeteria, documents in hand and with you in tow. Speak of the Devil. 

“Jess, Gwen, I misremembered about giving you the reports of your last mission together. I also have the analysis for the next one on Earth—199B.” Miguel hands the reports to Jessica and she immediately skims through it. Gwen looks over her shoulder and gives you a smile.

“Hey, how’s it going?” She asks. 

You respond with a shrug and a nod. “Good.”

Gwen’s smile wavers, laughing nervously as the awkward silence. She expected some sort of greeting back. 

Miguel answers for you. “She’s been with me the whole day since Peter’s been busy at home.” Gwen looks to Miguel.

“And how about you, boss? Doin’—uh—doin’ good?”

Miguel sighs, crossing his arms. “Better now that Margo fixed what Hobie broke in the console room.”

Hobie tsks. “Did not. You’re jus’ blamin’ me ‘cause I’m the scapegoat around ‘ere. Tha’ it?” 

Miguel pulls up camera footage from his Gizmo, of Hobie pulling apart different motherboards and CPUs from the server and tucking them away in his pocket. “Is this not you?!”

Hobie squints at the footage and shrugs. “AI has truly come a long way, mate. Bettah check tha’ out.”

Gwen, Pav and Jessica laugh at the scene, giggling at the sheer anger on Miguel’s face and Hobies indifference. You watch with a soft smile up at Miguel but nothing else.

Miguel feels your hand on his forearm and he looks down at you. You nod your head to the side, signaling it’s time to go. He looks at the time on his watch and collects himself. 

“We’re gonna head out. Don’t bother us unless there’s an emergency and be alert for any sudden messages should I need to contact any of you for anomalies.” He turns and gives a small wave before leaving, you trailing behind him.

You don’t say much other than looking behind to give them a small nod and following beside Miguel.

The group watches as Miguel talks to you, relating information and talking your ear off about missions and the to-do for the day. You listen quietly, eyes held on his and nodding along.

They glance at each other and think they would’ve never seen a person more closed off than Miguel in their lifetime. Even less where it looks like he’s more talkative compared to you. What an odd pair. “I think she has opened up. Maybe just not with us.” Jess leans back with a smile.

[velvetures]

Heya I absolutely adore your writing and I would looove to request something like the “vulnerable” fic you wrote about ghost, but for könig instead. So much fluff and so many praises for our pretty boy, since I feel like he would show us his face but he’d be really anxious and self conscious about it. Feel free to decide if u wanna add nsfw content or not, I’m happy with whatever :))

Touch starved, intimacy craving cod boys will be the death of me 😔

Thank you in advance c:

Defenseless

a/n: so sorry I'm answering this so late, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless 🩶 this isn't the most in-depth... but I really tried to get the feels of it. summary: The Colonel has been stated as having something up his ass for nearly a week. no tw's that i know of...

The Colonel had been unusually insufferable for over a week at this point.

Barking demands, snarling at everyone in his path, making a total bloodbath out of the one mission assigned to him, and practically punishing all of his men during the two training sessions he’d deemed mandatory. He was on a tirade unlike anything you’d been witness to before, and there was hardly a place to escape from him. That only place being the garage which you had not-so-coincidentally been holed-up in after receiving a vehicle that was for less of better description… utterly fucked. But budget apparently didn’t allow for a replacement, so you’d been sent out to fix the helpless machine.

You didn’t necessarily consider yourself “co-workers” in the normal sense. You didn’t share office memos, or even work in office cubicles that shared a flimsy divider. The majority of your work with him came down to managing the transport to and from the base to their mission insertions. Be it helo or armor-truck, you were licensed and proficient. It gave you one of the most important jobs on base… Transporting the most dangerous men that KORTAC could throw at an enemy. And their massive, intimidating, hooded Colonel was included.

“I heard him chewing into a private’s ass for standing in front of his office door while he was sitting inside… with the door shut.” You overheard one of the mechanics chuckling from underneath of an LUV that had a leaking brake line.

A couple of the other guys joined in the conversation, ignoring your presence for all intensive purposes. You could only imagine that they were doing so simple because of how well attached you were to König in a more personal relationship. It had been nothing but professional and regulatory, but the sight of you lingering around the Colonel for more than absolutely necessary raised plenty of eyebrows around base. It just worked out that you had your entire top half of your body twisted in the engine bay of an MMPV that had taken enough IED damage to need a lot of maintenance and replacements. A pain in the ass you had been fussing over for hours just today; not even thinking about the fact that you’d been engrossed in the job for nearly a week.

“What’d you think Major?” One of the men calling out to you brought your attention away from a replacement coil-on-plug system sitting in a box, not touched yet on the wheel well to your right.

“About what?” You feign interest, not wanting to be caught listening in on conversation.

“The Colonel,” He clarified. “You seen whatever it is that has a stick up his ass sideways?”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t make a habit of checking the Colonel’s asshole…” If it’s not clear in your tone that you’re quite finished with the conversation, he doesn’t take notice.

“You’re pretty close with him aren’t you? Can’t you put in a good word for everyone on base… he’s practically frothing at the mouth!”

“I’m not a damn veterinarian either, Johns.” You warn, losing a bit of your patience.

It was one thing for König to swing his weight around like they were suggesting… it was another for him to have been struggling with something far more stressful than normal. Hell, it wouldn’t be the first time a soldier took out frustration of the job on his fellow officers. Especially if he got a reality check that displayed just how fragile the system really was in times of actual strain. Not that you’d even had the chance to see him since this “tirade” began, but you could only imagine that something more than the obvious was going on behind that bleach-stained hood over his head.

Girly gossip from the small group of mechanics went on long into the evening. Theories stretching from a mission gone bad to some kind of personal insult from a superior. While the solutions to his “problem” oftentimes resulted in some kind of reference to his sex life being dry, or outright nonexistent. It all sounded ridiculous to you between cranks of your socket wrench or the occasional shrill of an impact drill.

Thankfully you could shut out the sounds for the most part, but by the time you’d found a decent stopping place, the sky outside the hangar had blackened for the night and the temperature dropped far enough that your breath misted in front of your face. It was plenty late enough to head back to your quarters and get enough sleep before being right back under the hood at first light without feeling totally miserable. You didn’t expect to run into the Colonel on your way back to your room.

From the way he walked alone, you could tell that he was exhausted. The toes of his boots skimming the ground a little more than normal, as well as the slight hunch is his typically unforgiving posture. König looked like he’d had his ass kicked before being asked to dig his own grave and crawl out of it. Hearing everyone complaining about his sour mood made even more sense than before, and you couldn’t blame him for sharing around the misery. Besides, he was one of the highest-ranking people on base… it was his reluctant responsibility to deal with people almost every second of the day.

He deserved a damn break…

“Hey! Colonel!” You called out just loud enough to make him stop. Begin careful enough to not just call him by his first time in the case that someone was listening in. His head snapped in your direction and he stiffened for a moment before recognizing you in the dark shadows of the night and parking lot lamps.

“Major…”

Chills rose on your skin hearing his roughened voice rolling your title off his tongue. He wasn’t the slightest aggressive, and you couldn’t quite decide if he was just sparing you his anger, or just worn himself down too much to care. You jog the distance between you, feeling some tension in your lower back from being bent over that damn truck all day. Hopefully it wouldn’t make König’s notice… he was always very particular about injuries or overuse with his direct-connection officers.

“Wie war dein Tag?” His eyes crinkle at the corners like he’s smiling under his hood.

At least that’s what you imagine he’s doing.

“It was alright,” You nod giving him a smile. “Working on your MMPV. It’s in a hell of a state, and I’m not sure I can fix her.” You mutter a bit quieter, mind drifting to the vehicle and the limited amount of actual repairs you could do without needing some additional parts or funding allotted for the repairs. König seemed to pick up on it for a moment, but he also ended up having half of his mind somewhere else for the time being.

“I understand…” You couldn’t be sure if he meant simple exhaustion or a shared feeling of being much in the same state as your armored car. “I’m certain with your attention, it will do more than survive the blow.”

You giggle softly, resting your hands on your hips and digging your thumbs into your lower back as nonchalantly as possible to hide the way your digits pressed and rubbed at the immense pressure building right above your hipbones. Your shared mental and physical abuse wasn’t the slightest bit new. It always felt like when you got to see König for any respectable amount of time something was wrong with one or both of you. Normally, it made for plenty of good jokes and light teasing. A good one didn’t come to mind, and the Colonel didn’t appear in the mood for banter either. Really, his voice didn’t even sound like it wanted to be present. Fading in and out of gravelly and growled tones between German-accented syllables.

“Are you retiring for the night?” His blonde eyebrow raised up above the ripped eyehole of his mask. You spared a glance at the roof which shielded your quarters from the elements. Damn near two-hundred yards away, as well. You hated thinking about the walk.

“Yeah, I figure I should head that way. It’ll take me fifteen minutes to get there if I don’t drag myself across the concrete like I want to.”

König chuckles lowly, bringing another smile to your face. You hoped it was a decent relief from what was bothering him so badly to make base feel like a war zone. The thought of being his first sign of something positive in days only intensified your joy of the thought. He takes his own glance in the direction of your rooms and then looks back to you with something of an appraising edge. Even scanning the immediate area for good measure before visibly losing some of the façade hiding his exhaustion.

“Drill in the morning?” He asks quieter, nodding his head for you to follow alongside him.

“No. Just working on that damn truck…” He chuckles again, giving you a softer look out of the corner of his eye.

“You can always stay with me,” He says quite a bit more offhanded than the offer really was.

There was no fucking way regulation would stand for it even if it was nothing more than a platonic pajama party. The mere thought of “the Major” and “the Colonel” being spotted leaving the same bedroom after a night alone would have them both court-martialed and discharged. Yet König handed out the offer easier than he could hand out candy to small children on Halloween. It spun you for a loop. Resulting in your feet welding themselves to the ground and your eyes widening as you turn to look up at him in question as to if you’d actually heard him correctly.

“Stay with you… stay… like, overnight?” The sentence alone felt so forbidden yet enticing in your mouth. König shrugs. A little more of his tension developing in his shoulders as you visibly see himself second-guessing such an intimate thing quite randomly.

“It was just an offer, Major.” He clarifies. “My quarters are much closer to your garage… and I’ve got everything you might need for one night away from your own bed.” He added with a soothing kind of tone.

But it left you just as anticipatory. He wasn’t this forward. At least, not in such a personal way. He didn’t phrase things this… domestic, directly and he sure as hell hadn’t ever thought to try it on you above all others. There was something more to this, and it wasn’t just due to the distance to your own quarters compared to his. A benefit for him lingered somewhere just below the surface of truth he’d been willing to speak about. Naturally, you weren’t about to take the first step in pushing him. So instead, you took the choice of playing the long game and allowing him to take the lead.

He is your superior officer, after all.

“You know… I might just take you up on those amenities, Colonel.”

His eyes crinkle again, giving you a second opportunity to wonder what his pretty mouth must look like when he smiles.

“If you stay, my rank stays outside. I don’t prefer answering to a title in my own home.” His low voice rumbles with an affectionate tone. One that makes you nod your head automatically, like he’d whispered some spell over you.

“Of course, sir.”

His quarters weren’t what you expected.

Instead of the typical grey walls and standard furniture, he’d went about the process of either collecting some more personal things or brought them from wherever he’d lived before now. The bed was actually massive, swallowing your position that a king size bed was more than large enough. The four posts around it had been stained a dark, ash kind of color over heavily grained wood. A desk sat over against the wall underneath of the one window in the room and while it was stained the same color, carved designs on the drawers and feet were different from the bed frame style. The walls were void of any pictures or art, bit there was enough personal touches scattered around that it pieced together a bit more of the mystery behind the Colonel’s personal life.

“It’s really nice,” Your compliment falls into the room softly, almost like you’re attempting to keep the atmosphere untouched by your presence. “Where’d you get all of your things from?” It wasn’t until after asking that you realized it might be too personal of a question considering his attitude.

He looked around and shrugged. “Antique stores,” He ran a gloved hand over the top of a nightstand next to him. “I liked the idea of fixing things… and I had the knowledge of how to do it.” Your insides twisted in interest at the idea of König being well-versed in woodworking. Images of the massive man knelt down with sandpaper and reaching the smallest nooks in the carved wood. Meticulous. Unwilling to take a shortcut… it made more sense the longer you thought about it. He walked up behind you and rested his hands on your shoulders gently, letting out a deep breath.

“I didn’t… invite you here just for convenience.” He admitted a bit shyly, fingers twitching to squeeze your shoulders just a little harder.

Ah, there it is…

“What did you let me in for?” You reply, turning to look over your shoulder and up at him with a friendly little smile. “Because I know it wasn’t for chocolates on the pillows and breakfast in bed when I wake up.”

Those big, dark, eyes glittered a little. Framing just a small bit of humor in an otherwise dark, painted and highly guarded expression in a well-defended man. It was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place. Hs ability to find some softness in an otherwise harsh and cruel world of voluntary service to country. A damn shame he’d found this world instead of another one that would be more welcoming… less bloody… but then again. You’d also found this world too, even if it was your pathway to simple drive into warzones instead of running into them with a rifle and a desire to be the last man standing.

“I need some… help.” He could see the question and concern on your face, but instead of even uttering a single word, he just moves away from you and sits down on the edge of his bed. His eyes polarize away from you and down to the gloves that he began struggling to get off with slightly trembling hands.

You debated. Tossing around so many ideas in your head that you began dropping them. Juggling too many problems and possible solutions all at once. Hoping that he would speak up, or give you some sort of help. König wasn’t the best talker. Never had been really, but often he’d give away something that let you in on the issues in his mind. He was a stone wall tonight. Sitting like a marble statue with nothing more than softened eyes looking away from you with a palpable desire for help; yet no ability within himself to say how. The first thing you didn’t like was that he still had on all of that gear. Between the flak jacket with all of his spare mags, the helmet, steel-toed boots, multiple holsters and a slew of other things, there was far too much on him for you to get close enough to finding a crack in that armor.

“Can I?” Stepping closer, and pointing towards his helmet you ask gently, testing his comfort. He just nods, not even willing to look up at you to check what you were even wanting to do.

You unbuckle it carefully, not wanting to tug on his hood and sit it down next to him on the bed. But right as you sit it down, you see him reach up and tug the material off to drop it down inside the helmet. His blonde hair is a mess. A bit sweaty and matted down from a days work, it falls over his forehead and down to his nose. It softens the stark color of black face paint smeared over the whole top half of his face. The process of breaking down the soldier piece-by-piece takes less than five minutes, and that even included a small fight over whether or not you should be allowed to take off his boots due to how “demeaning” he felt it would look to have you kneel down in front of him like that. Thoughtful as you found the idea, you still pointed out he was your superior officer and it only made sense that you take care of the “unimportant” tasks for him. What you really didn’t know what that he watched you unlace his boots with every intention of letting you know that it felt even more intimate than letting you be one of the few people who could see his face in typical circumstances.

“That’s better… right?” You murmur, running your fingers through his hair to try and unstick the hair stuck together with sweat.

He nods. “Ja, viel besser.”

You smile at his German, sitting down next to him close enough that your thigh presses against his and your shoulder rests tightly next to him. “How about you take shower? I think washing off the day might help out a bit.”

König shakes his head no and quickly decides on a better idea. One that ends up with you laying flat on your back and a 6’10 man laying with his head on your stomach and his body nestled between your legs. His arms stay bent by his sides, resting weight on his elbows to resist laying his entire weight on you but his hands palm both sides of your ribs intentionally. His fingertips pressing between the dips of your ribs and the warm exhale of his breaths fanning against your stomach. It feels uncommonly desperate. Sensing the undeniable behavior of a man needing touch. Closeness from another human instead of the victory of a battle alone, or the knowledge that he’d lived another day without dying a horrible death. That thought alone has you wrapping your arms around his head and holding him tightly. Cradling him as well as you can to make him feel safe and protected even though his feet are hanging off the bed. Your heart pinches in regret that you’d not thought of coming to see him sooner. At least defending him in front of the others who’d been hellbent on making him out to be an asshole for having such a rough week.

Fuck.

He’d almost groveled like a puppy on its belly for you to touch him.

“You smell like cinnamon,” He mutters with his mouth slurred in the extra fabric of your shirt. “I like that… reminds me of my mother’s cinnamon rolls.” The memory is audible; softening his words and making that German accent thicker with exhaustion and comfort of being wrapped up in your arms.

You giggle very softly, pushing his hair off his face. “I’m surprised I don’t smell like grease.”

“Nein… du riechst wie zu hause.” His reply is gravelly and warm.

You close your eyes and settle back against the bed. “You know I don’t know German well enough to understand that…” He laughed softly, squeezing your sides with his massive hands.

“Do you think I’m not aware?” A laugh escaped you and as a retaliation you tapped the top of his head in a small, soft, shun. “I like saying things to you in German… it makes saying the truth easier sometimes.”

When his hands slid further under your body to fully encompass your waist, he buried his nose into your stomach and took a deep, relaxed breath. Nuzzling tighter into you and rubbing his face into your shirt like he was attempting to rub his scent and face paint off on your shirt. Neither option sounded the least bit bad. Wishing that he would fully immerse himself in you if it would make him feel better. Ease that misery festering in the back of his mind. Beginning to settle in, you started running your fingertips up and down his back. Smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt as you went, and tracing out the defined lines on his shoulder blades and rippled lats stretching over his ribs. Each pass either smoothing the pads of your fingertips, or giving him a slight scratch with blunted nails. Earning some German mutters and contented grumbles vibrating against your stomach.

“Du kilngst… wie ein… bär.” Your German feels quite juvenile, but König’s short huff of amusement gives you enough satisfaction that the lighthearted jab had reached him. He nips at your hip with his teeth, making you jump in surprise and giggle nervously.

“Isn’t there a saying… ‘don’t poke the bear?’.”

“I thought you were a King, not a bear?”

He shakes his head, a little slow on a comeback. “Either way, I’ll prove my dominance.”

You chuckle softly. “Don’t bother, I’m more than content to stay just like this.” You hum, returning to the smooth up and down movement of your hands on his wide expanse of a back.

“I’m happy to stay like this as well,” He mutters, stretching out a bit more. “However, I don’t like where you are.” Suddenly a bit nervous that you’d not been playing this situation properly, you freeze for a moment.

“I can move if you’d like?”

Suddenly a bit nervous that you’d not been playing this situation properly. He shifts a bit, putting more weight back onto his knees with a small grunt before snatching you up far enough to roll you onto your side and settle himself behind you as if you weren’t any bigger than a teddy bear meant for pure comfort and warmth. A muscled and tattooed arm vicegrips your chest and the other arm slides under your head to prop up your head. Instantly turning the role of comfort you’d been happy to provide into a much different situation.

“Can’t do much laying like this.” You protest a bit, attempting to turn over to face him so you can at least return to touching him.

“No, you fit right… shaped to me.” He slurs; tightened his grip and shook his head, resting his nose right in the crook of your neck. One hand slides under your shirt and reaches up far enough to rest his forearm against your chest and make a half-collar around your neck with his hand. He feels hot to the touch, and while you would’ve shied away from any other man touching you in such a way, König doing it felt right. As if there was something connecting you to him other than a simple recognition of the desire for a human connection that wasn’t painful. A different kind of dominance, creating a safe place for himself, but also for you in the way the curve of his hand fit right at the base of your throat.

“Touching you like this… it makes me feel more powerful than any firefight I’ve won.” He states, further resting his upper body against your back. “Like all of the mistakes i’ve made were worth making; just so I could have a moment to feel invincible laying in my own bed.”

It’s deep. Touching. Reaching right down into the bottom of your soul and wrenching it with an iron-grip so warm that you feel a heat rise in your throat.

“That sounds like something you should tell a woman you love, not just me.” You whisper, sliding your own hand under your shirt to hold his hand.

As if he could, he attempts to pull you tighter against him.

“I just did.”

reblogs & comments are appreciated <3

[ateezscupid]

Could u make a fanfic for Hongjoong on aphrodisiacs???

﹟𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗡𝗬 𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦 ⋆ 𝗄.𝗁𝗃 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗭 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 / 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧

plot - hongjoong surprises you when he uses aphrodisiacs for the first time.

warn - smut and fluff, sub!hongjoong, soft dom!reader, aphrodisiacs, handjob, orgasm denial, overstimulation, multiple orgasms mentioned

w/c - n/a

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗦 - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starillusion13

“hongjoong, why are you so…fidgety?”

“no reason! i just, um, i’m kinda cold? it’s cold out here, i’m cold. can we go home? i wanna go home. the food here isn’t that great either and i-”

“joong, stop rambling!” you rub your forehead. “why do you wanna go home so bad, hongjoong?”

“i just told you! i-i’m cold and my legs are cold and everything’s cold, i wanna go home. i think we should go home. can we go home? i wanna go home—”

“it’s 78 degrees outside, hongjoong. it’s not cold at all.” you cross your arms. “fess up, something’s wrong.”

“i…” he sighs. “i can’t say it, it’s embarrassing.”

“it can’t possibly be that embarrassing. did you forget i literally threw up in front of you when we came back from seonghwa’s party a few months back? that had to have been the most embarrassing moment in my life. but you still stayed with me and held my hair back.”

“thats—it’s different.” he sighs. “mingi gave me these like…i don’t know, pills? he gave me these pills that he said i should take since i told him i thought—”

he pauses.

“because… you thought what? three years into our relationship, you can tell me anything.”

“i thought i wasn’t a good enough sex partner for you.” hongjoong whispers as he lowers his head. “i felt like… i don’t know. you’re just amazing and beautiful and i want to make you happy, but i don’t think i’m doing a good enough job.”

“what?” you almost laugh out of disbelief. hongjoong was the best boyfriend you’ve had ever. for him to think that and say it to your face almost made you laugh, only out of shock.

“joongie, you’re a great boyfriend. and you’re most definitely not bad at sex. i cant say all of the things you’ve been able to make me do since we are in public, but just know i wouldn’t give up anything in the world if it meant i had to lose you. you’re great at it, okay?”

“thanks, thanks…” he spoke quickly, shuffling and squirming around in his seat. “can we hurry home? i—i’m really… i can’t stand it, y/n. i feel like i’m gonna bust in my pants.”

“oh my god, joong, okay.”

“y/n y/n y/n, s-slow down, shit!” he hissed as he pushes his face in the crook of your neck. you he didn’t remember how many orgasms he’s had by now. two? three? it didn’t really matter how many he had, you weren’t letting him have any more.

“hm? you want me to what?” you kiss his temple and continue to move your hand, using your thumb to rub his slit whenever you made it back up.

“‘s good, it’s so so good,” his back arches. “i wanna—i need to cum, p-please…”

“joong, that would be your third time.” you say your continue moving your hand up and down his cock, squeezing tightly and making sure to play with his tip longer whenever you made it to the top. he kept squirming around in your hold, his body breaking apart at the seams.

“f-feels so good… s’good.” hongjoong moved, his thighs shaking and his mind going blank. it was like he was short circuiting. it felt so much better since he was still on the aphrodisiacs.

“i’m glad it feels good, joongie. you’re doing so well for me.” you whisper against his cheek, his back arching and everything inside of him breaking down. he was close, he could feel it. he wasn’t sure if he could continue asking for permission to cum anymore. it would feel that good, he needed to release it.

“c-can—can’t hold…h-hold it! y/n, please!” he whined desperately. “please let me c-cum, y/n please…”

“no, hold it.” you kept moving your hand, watching his face contort and hearing the pretty noises that left his mouth. all of his pretty whimpers and moans only made you want to ruin him even more. abruptly, you stop stroking him and push him back on the bed.

“w-why’d you stop! p-please, i’m so close,” he pulls you down. “i just wanna cum.” he kisses you all over your face, basically drowning you with pecks and love bites.

“joong, calm down! i’ll let you cum. but i want you to do it inside me.”

[brrrridgette]

OH MY GOD UOU WERE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE ARTISTS YEARS AGO BUT I LOST UR ACCOUNT OH MY GOD I FOUND UR ART ON INSTA FIRST AND WHEN I LEFT I LOST UR ART BUT NOW I FOUND U AGAIN OMFG 😭😭🤏🤏🤏 I LOVE UR ART SM sorry this ask box is probs for requests but just letting U know u shaped me as an artist love ur art

THANK YOU SO MUCH that makes me so happy to hear 🙁🙁 ik u didn’t req anything but i saw u like c!tntduo so

[sanjisboyfie]

✘ keep safe : ⁶⁶⁶special ✘

link to original story these one shots/headcanons are based off of <3

a/n : some of the straw hats have longer one shots with [name], sorry </3 it's just some of them i was much more inspired to play around with than others, but I STILL LOVE ALL OF THEM PLEASE. i think it just proves i can flesh out and deepen the relationships [name] has with each straw hat some more!!! which i plan to do in the future :D anyway, this is sosososo late considering we are at 700+ hearts??? help i have no idea how or why there are so many people that are invest3ed in this silly story, but i really want to say thank you. i have been gone for so long and i know i've probably lost a lot of my original support, which i understand, but to those that stuck around: i really hope to not disappoint you in the future. i am so grateful to everyone that has showed me support - on so many different platforms too T.T THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE and i hope you enjoy 

lmk which one you enjoyed the most too !!! i would love to hear any feedback and any comments you guys have <3 love u all sooo much thank u for reading :) 

+ there are some lore drops in here too so make sure to read carefully hehe!!! consider it an apology from me LMAO for my terribly extended disappearance. 

wc : 17k+ ... strap in ..

monkey d. luffy - piel canela by los panchos

"que se quede el infinito sin estrellas, o que pierda el ancho mar su immensidad, pero el negro de tu ojos que no muera. y el canela de tu piela se quede iguel. si perdiera el arco iris su belleza, y las flores su perfume y su color, no seria tan immense mi tristeza comon aquella de quedarme sin tu amor. me importas tu, y tu, y tu, y solamente tu, y tu, y tu. me importas tu, y tu, y tu, y nadie mas que tu." // "may the infinite be left without stars, or may the whole wide sea lose its immenseness. but may the blackness of your eyes never die. and may the cinnamon of your skin stay the same. if the rainbows were to lose its beauty, and the flower their perfume and their color. my sadness wouldn’t be as immense as that from being left without you love. what matters to me is you, and you, and you. and only you, and you, and you. what matters to me is you, and you, and you, and no one else, but you"

[name] would do anything to ensure that a smile stayed on luffy’s lips.

the unthinkable things he would never say out loud in fear of scaring people away, that he would do to make luffy happy. the unimaginable pain he would bring onto others if it meant that luffy’s joy and dreams were protected.

he would do anything for luffy.

the entire world could collapse around the two them, but [name] would only be looking into luffy’s wonderous brown eyes the whole time. there was a different sense of adoration that [name] held for luffy, one unseen by many and unknown by more. in fact, the only person in the world that could begin to comprehend how serious [name] was in ensuring luffy’s happiness could be ace.

a part of that reason was because of how ace had seen first hand what [name] was willing to do in order to protect those he loved, and the man with h/c hair definitely did love luffy. and secondly, it was because a part of that ideology in [name] lived in ace. wholeheartedly, the two men would do anything in a heartbeat for luffy.

as [name] woke up, he was greeted by luffy’s scent surrounding him. and yes, it was a pleasant scent. ever since [name] joined the crew, luffy and him would bathe together, so [name] was making sure that the man was smelling clean and fresh every night before bed. which is why the smell of the sun that luffy usually radiated was wiped away and replaced with his natural smell (which, ironically, still held a tinge of the sun).

the natural smell that radiated from his captain could only be explained as mimicking the smell of meat, but also, a certain amount of sweetness. and, genuinely [name] hated sweets, but when it was something that naturally came from luffy, he couldn’t bring himself to so vehemently hate it as much as he usually does.

he smiles to himself as he imagines the reason why luffy has a hint of sweetness to his scent is because of his natural instinct of being a kind person. he sighs in content, wrapping his strong arms around luffy’s waist and basking in his presence. he had waited years to be able to do this, just hold luffy again, so each time he could, he never failed to hold him close and hard. to ground himself in reminding himself that luffy was truly with him and wasn’t going anywhere.

as he was shamelessly cuddling into luffy’s side, the man “trapped” in his arms subconsciously welcomed the affection. since he was still sleeping, luffy wasn’t truly aware of his own actions. his arms and legs were moving on their own, wrapping several times over around [name]’s waist and legs to bring him impossibly closer.

as [name]’s chin rested on top of luffy’s messy raven hair, he smiled at the feeling and squeezed luffy back.

this only made luffy smile in his sleep and cuddle closer to his favorite person.

and it was the quiet moments like these where [name] really does come to terms that he would do anything, genuinely anything, to keep luffy safe and happy.

it was a quiet morning, surprisingly. ace was still snoring away in the corner and luffy’s head was resting soundly on [name]’s lap. a bandaged hand was going through his black hair and a soft tune was audibly coming from the man.

“hnnggg, [name] it’s too bright,” luffy whined, cuddling his face into [name]’s thighs to hide away from the sunlight that was seeping into the treehouse.

“that’s called the sun, luffy,” [name] grinned, lightly pinching the rubber man’s cheek. he only whined louder, hugging [name] so tight the man’s air was practically cut off.

“we should go fishing today,” luffy suggested out of nowhere, eyes still closed. “since you’re still healing, i can do all the fishing and you can watch,”

“i don’t know if i wanna spend my morning watching you fish, luffy,” [name] joked, making luffy childishly whine about how mean he was being. “should we go now? so when ace wakes up, he has some food,”

“but i’m tired…” luffy breathed out, shuffling to prop himself up on his palms to properly face [name], “let’s be sure to leave quietly so he doesn’t wake up,”

and suddenly luffy was standing up and full of energy, even though he just claimed how tired he was.

the supplies were gathered and they both jumped from the treehouse to the ground with ease. the moment they began walking to the stream, luffy was draped over [name]’s back and cuddling into him.

“ace always hogs you, y’know,” luffy commented, his eyebrows furrowed in displeasure. “it’s not fair when i was your friend first,”

[name] chuckled at luffy’s words, finding them both endearing and funny.

“it feels like such a long time ago,” [name] said fondly, throwing an arm around luffy’s frame and holding him close. with their difference in size, it was easy to keep luffy so near to him.

“hm, i guess, but i remember it,”

“then i’ll take your word for it. maybe you should bring it up to ace when we see him,” luffy hummed with his head held high, seemingly very determined to seriously put ace in his place over such a trivial matter.

as they were walking through the forest, [name]’s eyes caught a glimpse of something big and shiny resting on a tree trunk. it clicked immediately what it was and he, unfortunately, had to detach himself from luffy.

the younger one whined, but then he also saw what it was that caught [name]’s eyes. and only then did he let out a yell of happiness. he began shaking [name]’s arm back and forth, a wide grin on his face.

and in unison, the two boys exclaimed, “a hercules!!!”

luffy clapped his hands as his eyes sparkled and turned into stars. and seeing such a joyous expression on his face, [name] didn’t hesitate in handing over the beetle to luffy.

“hold onto him lu, we can bring him with us on our adventure,” he spoke softly, smiling at the way luffy’s smile only stretched further.

“he’s so cool, [name]! look at his horn!” luffy exclaimed, placing his hand into [name]’s awaiting one and not wasting a second before swinging their arms back and forth, “he’s so cool, thanks for giving him to me!”

despite [name] never allowing luffy to “claim” the bug that he had found, he wasn’t going to object. seeing how happy it made luffy was enough to make him give up on any possible objections that he could have had.

it had been a couple hours since [name] properly woke up, leaving luffy a slumbering mess in their hammock.

now to fill his time, [name] was watching the ocean sway and move with a bored look on his face. sometimes, if he were bored, he’d force the waves to move to his liking, but then he’d stop to not be caught by nami and her fury.

but one can only stare at the ocean for so long. just as he was about to go find another distraction, a figure came crashing into his back and knocking the air out of his lungs.

”[name]!! what are you doing?’ luffy’s drawled out voice spoke, practically whining into [name]’s skin. “you left me all alone,”

“i did not, i made sure zoro was nearby for you to cuddle,” [name] smiled, turning his head and feeling his smile grow wider when luffy’s face pressed closer and closer to his own.

“blegh, i don’t like cuddling with zoro, he smells,”

“i know, maybe we should force him into bath time with us, lu,” [name] hummed, still not breaking eye contact.

luffy’s deep, dark eyes were so captivating that it was hard to look away. [name] only found himself surveying the rest of luffy’s features. his beautifully tanned complexion that could only be describe as sun-kissed. his dark hair that was oh-so slightly wavy, but for the most part just spikey in all the most random directions. the small, barely noticeable freckles that adorned the high points of his face, credit to the sun exposure he’s gotten over their journey.

[name] smiled, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against luffy’s. the captain, finding the action fun, grinned and leaned further into [name], giggling to himself.

luffy, [name]’s beautiful boy.

innocently unaware of the hold he had over [name]’s heart, morals, actions, ideology. everything. luffy had complete control over it. and instead of abusing it, he remained painfully oblivious.

unaware that with a simple command, [name] would do anything luffy wished.

luffy, the sun-kissed boy, that had captivated the man who related to the moon. an unlikely pair, from an outsider perspective.

without hesitation, [name] leaned in and gently pecked luffy’s nose. this made the younger one crinkle his face in surprise before breaking out into laughter, the signature laugh of his.

“hehe, what was that for?” luffy asked, making sure that their foreheads were still connected.

“dunno,” [name] dumbly answered, grinning as he saw the way luffy pouted at that response. “just felt like it,”

luffy hummed in understanding. then he grabbed both of [name]’s cheeks, pulled him in, and placed a wet, sloppy kiss onto both of his cheeks. [name] grimaced at the uncomfortable sensation, but the grimace was wiped off of his face in an instant when he saw how happy luffy was.

the two started quietly giggling before it turned into outright howling laughter. they didn’t know why they were laughing, honestly, but [name] felt that silence existing when luffy was near wasn’t an appropriate environment. so he started laughing, as did luffy, and now here they were rolling back and forth on deck in each others’ arms, laughing so loud the other strawhats woke up.

“hm, no, luffy, pay attention,” [name] sternly said, holding onto luffy’s hand to squeeze. the action was supposed to trigger luffy into becoming serious, but the future captain still had that childish grin on his face. “this mean “i am” and the black space is where you put your name, m’kay? and you write your name like this — like we practiced earlier!”

luffy simply kept his hold on [name]’s hand tight as he mindlessly nodded along. affectionately, the older one’s thumbs ran up and down the backside of luffy’s hand, encouraging him to try writing it out himself. and it seemed to work as luffy turned serious.

”then you have to write it in this stroke,” [name] said, taking his other hand to hold onto luffy’s and guide him in the proper way of writing. luffy’s tongue was poking out of the corner of his lips and he was deeply concentrated on getting it right. white paper sheets that had previous attempts were scattered around their room, showing how determined luffy was in getting this right.

he recognized how hard [name] was teaching him and he really didn’t want to mess up all the effort he was putting into their lesson. that’s what motivated luffy to try again and again.

“wow! that doesn’t look half bad,” [name] hummed, bringing the paper up and examining it, “you’re getting better each time, lu,”

“i did good?” luffy asked, dropping the inky pen and jumping onto [name], tilting his head into the man’s neck.

[name] chuckled at the blatant need for praise from the boy, but nodded his head in agreement, “very good, lu, you’re making me really proud!” the childish one cheered and rocked the two back and forth to show his happiness at the news. [name] held onto him tight so that they wouldn’t crash onto the floor, laughing along with him.

“should we show ace your hard work?” [name] suggested, grabbing the paper tight in his hands. luffy hummed in agreement, seeing it as a chance to show off to his older brother, and [name] carried the boy on his back to find ace.

in the crow’s nest of merry, [name] had his hands carded through luffy’s dark hair. he would occasionally massage his scalp, smiling when luffy would practically purr in glee at the soft sensation. in the midst of the sunset, the light was hitting luffy so beautifully he was practically glowing.

to know that someone as kindhearted and beautiful as luffy existed made [name] smile.

luffy was busy watching the sunset, he wasn’t all too focused on how [name] was taking in every little detail of his face.

[name] could see every detail so clearly. the freckles that were so small they were only visible when the sun was shining on them, scattered around his eyes, nose and cheeks. they looked like flecks of a paintbrush’s brown paint. how luffy’s eyes were so dark, but still managed to sparkle and look as if though stars were living right in his eyes. they were so cute when they were blown wide in excitement, too, [name] had noticed that since him and luffy were kids.

how luffy’s eyes would widen and you’d see visibly how excited he was about something. it made [name] smile even wider. or, how naturally luffy’s lips were always resting in a small grin and how there was the tiniest mole on the bottom of his lip and how it would stretch along with him whenever he smiled.

how there was no blemish in sight on luffy’s skin and he was practically flawless. [name] hands moved from luffy’s hair and down to his waist, hugging him tight. he ducked his head into luffy’s neck, innocently blowing a raspberry into his skin, making luffy’s giggles fill the air.

“hey! what was that for?” luffy questioned, not at all angry, but instead feeling delighted at the affection.

“just wanted to,” [name] smiled, holding luffy still and continuing to hug him tight in his lap. “luffy, promise me something,”

“anything!” luffy grinned.

“never change, okay? i want you to stay like this forever,” [name] said, a selfish feeling blooming in his chest. luffy frowned, pouting as he thought.

truthfully, luffy was also a really selfish individual who, contrary to what people think, is incredibly self-aware. in the sense, he knows who he is and knows what he wants and how he wants to achieve his dreams. he’s actually a very simple man — he wants to be the pirate king and won’t let anything stop him. and he likes to think that’s one of his strongest suits, his determination and unwillingness to shift positions on what he has his mind set on.

that’s what made [name]’s words were so conflicting to him. because what if he does end up changing because he has to? but also, he cherishes [name] above everything else. he puts [name] on such a high pedestal that there’s never a chance he would willingly say no to him.

“are you gonna hate me if i change?”

“of course not, lu,” [name] said immediately, running one hand up to caress luffy’s cheek, “could never hate you. i just love you so much like this — the sweetest boy i know,”

“hehe, then i’ll stay like this forever if that means you’ll love me the same!”

[name] grinned, planting a kiss on luffy’s cheek and nodding, “you’re the best, luffy,”

“that’s right, i am! the king of pirates can’t be anything else but!”

[name] and luffy laughed to themselves, both looking on at the sun that was setting over the horizon and basking in its rays. well, [name] was too enamored with the warmth and energy that luffy was radiating to really focus on the sun, but luffy was paying attention to it.

the sun watching the sun, [name] thought with a grin, laughing at the funny parallel.

that really does make him the moon, eagerly chasing after luffy. always.

roronoa zoro - frisky by dominic fike

“we’re drunk in these fancy places, i help you navigate cause nobody around you makes aneffort and i wanna make an effort. what in the world is gonna make you listen? i got a bottle for two and i feel a lil’ frisky! what in the world is gonna make you listen? // don’t be so messy headed, you’ll have your revelation. you’re heavy handed cause you hold it all. step outside, but not to brawl. and, watch you feet — try not to fall. or we’ll make it to the moon all scraped and bruised up”

the moon was shining brightly down on the island the strawhats were docked at. each crew member was doing their own thing, for nami it was seeing the different shops that were scattered around the island, for usopp it was to see what type of unique trinkets the people created, and sanji was busy trying to woo whichever women stepped into his eye sight. and the most energetic, luffy and chopper, were entertaining themselves around the island, leaving some sort of chaotic mess behind them.

the only ones who were holding off on letting loose were zoro and [name]. they were assigned to babysit merry while the others were free to roam around and neither complained when they were appointed the responsibility.

the two were the only ones left on merry, zoro secluded near the railing and seemingly watching the ocean with his swords not far away. [name] was roaming around looking for the green-head, holding a bottle of rum he had found in his hand.

and when he finally caught sight of him, he grinned ear to ear. he quietly stalked towards the swordsman, announcing his presence with a soft, but loud, “boo!” and grabbing each of zoro’s shoulders to shake gently. the goal was to obviously scare him, but zoro only rolled his eyes at [name]’s childish antics.

“really? your loud ass breathing gave you away,” zoro said, a smirk on his face as he easily insulted [name].

the man only rolled his eyes and took a seat beside zoro, placing the bottle down, “come on, let’s get drunk!”

zoro quirked his eyebrow up at the remark, but didn’t bother fighting the urge to take a long swig. and when the bottle was pulled away from his lips, he placed it back down, “you don’t drink,” he easily said, watching with interest as [name] took the bottle.

“i don’t, but this could be a good bonding moment between us,”

zoro scoffed at the excuse, cracking a grin as he saw [name]’s face scrunch up in disgust at the taste of alcohol, “for someone that loves bitter things, i would’ve thought you’d have loved the taste of some booze,”

“blegh,” [name] groaned, sticking his tongue out, “hell no. this shit is so nasty,”

zoro took another sip, “so why even?”

“bonding, of course,” [name] grinned, demeanor flipping in an instant.

“why do we need to this bonding? it’s stupid,” zoro remarked, looking at the bottle with a blank look on his face.

“zoro, quit complaining. nothing’s wrong with me bringing a bottle for two, shouldn’t you be happy you’re drinking booze anyway,”

“i could easily do this by myself, dipshit,”

“bottle for two, marimo,” [name] said, flicking zoro’s forehead, “don’t be so pissy.”

“fine, but don’t you get all whiny on me when you keep sipping this knowing you’ll hate it,”

“oh, shut up, zoro,” [name] said, taking another swig and immediately sticking his tongue out in disgust.

by the time the bottle was halfway done, zoro drinking most of it, [name] was feeling rather tipsy. his face felt hot and he was slouching and swaying in all sorts of directions, despite being in a sitting position. and of course, zoro was holding up just fine and normal.

“zoro,” [name] whined, making the green-haired man click his tongue in annoyance. this is exactly what he was dreading. the possibility of [name] being unable to hold his liquor well and having to babysit the man’s drunken state.

“no,” zoro grunted, already getting up to walk away from the mess of a man that [name] was.

“no, you,” [name] said, quickly grabbing ahold of zoro’s ankles and keeping an iron grip on them.

“hey! let go!”

“no, you,”

“what?!”

“hehe.”

“don’t hehe me, you bastard!” zoro bit back, pulling [name] up to his feet by his underarms, cringing at the way [name]’s entire body weight fell onto him. not that he was heavy, but the fact that he was clinging onto him so tight the moment their skin made contact. “i told you not to even bother with this, you idiot. now look, you can’t even stand straight,”

“we should go out,” [name] mumbled, cheek pressed to zoro’s hair. “marimo,” he said in a daze, carding his long fingers through zoro’s short hair, “fuzzy!”

“quit it!’ zoro said, grabbing [name]’s hands in his own and restraining them from wandering anywhere else. “why the fuck did i have to be on here with you, of all people?”

after a couple moments of silence, zoro wondered if [name] did actually fall asleep standing up, or if he was really that offended by his words. the swordsman didn’t know how [name] was drunk so there was a chance he was one of those overly emotional people…

just as he tilted his head up to see [name]’s expression, he was yanked in the opposite direction and was suddenly being dragged elsewhere.

“let’s go!!” [name] cheered, smile evident on his face as he easily used his strength to drag zoro’s entire body weight.

“go where?! and like hell we are going anywhere!!” zoro shouted, kicking his heels into merry to stop his movement, but it was truly no use. [name], despite being drunk, was still really strong.

“see the world!” [name] shouted, jumping off of the side of the railing and bringing zoro with him, “merry, we will be back, don’t go anywhere!” he slurred, waving by to the still ship and skipping ahead.

“hey, hey, hey, don’t drag me into whatever you’re plannin-” zoro’s face was covered with [name] hand as the drunk man shut him up from complaining further. “gthyrhuntuhofame!!”

“you’re so funny, zoro,” [name] giggled, leaning into the man and guiding the both of them to walk forward. well, guide was the wrong word as he was walking as if he had two left feet and swaying the two of them back and forth.

once zoro managed to break free from [name]’s suffocating hand, he screamed, “we are going back to merry, idiot, let’s go!”

“but zoro! we didn’t even get to the main part of town!” [name] complained, kicking his feet into the dirt in protest.

“i don’t give a shit, come on!” zoro grabbed onto [name]’s hand without thinking twice and started dragging him back in the direction of merry. unfortunately, [name]’s eyes caught something shining a couple of feet away and changed his trajectory with ease.

noticing that [name]’s hand wasn’t in his and that he wasn’t dragging the man to walk, zoro looked at his straying figure. “where are you going?!”

”it’s the light bug! what are they called? bug light? dragon light? no…light bug…”

“what are you talking about?! get back here,” zoro scrambled to catch up to [name], cursing under his breath as [name] was not listening to him at all.

“dragon…no, light…” [name] was pouting as he tried to remember what the name was before his face lit up and he remembered. and when he did, he made sure to swivel on his feet to face the incoming zoro, grabbing ahold of him and shaking him back and forth, “fire fly! they’re the fireflies! zoro, look at all the fireflies!”

using the hands on both sides of zoro’s face, he maneuvered his head around to look at all the glowing bugs around them. the swordsman obviously did not care and tried breaking free from his grasp immediately.

“yeah, yeah, the light bugs, whatever! let’s go, you big idiot,” zoro said, taking [name]’s wrists in his hands and tugging him again.

“no! fireflies,” [name] scolded, smacking the back of zoro’s head, “fire-fly! fi-re-fl-y!”

“shut the fuck up about the stupid bugs!” zoro screamed, making [name] laugh at his funny expression.

“the marimo is mad.”

“shut the fuck up or i’ll leave you here!”

“oh, but zoro, look the moon is so bright!” [name] stopped walking, jolting zoro’s body to be near his own, a dopey grin on his face, “it’s sooooo big! and bright! like…like, a bowl of milk.”

zoro deadpanned, rolling his eyes at the childish antics he had to deal with, “yeah, a big bowl of milk in the sky, let’s go now.”

“no, i wanna look at it some more,” he plopped down onto the grass, crossing his long legs over one another and gazing up at the sky.

“fine, find your own way back to merry, i’m not looking at the stupid moon with you,” zoro said, dropping the hold he had on [name]’s wrist and beginning to walk away. [name], seemingly unbothered, only began humming a very familiar song and looking up at the sky with a soft smile on his face.

zoro’s eyes narrowed at his lack of complaint of him leaving, enunciating, “you have to go back to merry on your own.”

[name] only continued on humming.

“i’m not gonna tell them how to find you, you need to go back by yourself,”

the same tune was escaping [name]’s sealed lips.

and, for some unexplainable reason, zoro found himself sitting down next to [name] and resting his chin in his palms, a bored and pissed look on his face.

“stupid fucking idiot, can’t just look at the moon from merry, as if it makes a difference where you look at it from,” he said under his breath, flinching when he felt [name]’s breath on the back of his neck. “back up!”

“if you had one wish, what would it be, zoro?”

“for you to back up off of me,”

“no,” [name] said, hugging himself into zoro’s side with a grin on his face, “that’s not a real wish!”

“fine, my wish would be for you to drop dead,”

“how rude~” [name]’s words were slurred as he spoke, showing that the affects of the alcohol were still lasting, “my wish would be for everyone’s dreams to come true. you’ll kill that stupid hawk guy and claim that title as yours, luffy will be the pirate king…and…i forgot everyone elses’…sorry,”

“that’s stupid. you’d waste your one wish on other people?” zoro judged, giving up on trying to get [name]’s heavy torso off of his own body. instead, he leaned back on the palms of his hands and allowed [name] to rest on his shoulder however he liked.

“it’s not a waste if it’s you guys,” [name] yawned, eyes dreary as he looked at the moon. “not a waste, marimo,”

zoro remained silent, looking down at [name]’s head on his chest and sighing. annoying piece of shit, he thought in his head. then he turned his gaze up to the sky and tried to make himself interested in it. he wondered what [name] was seeing that made him so intrigued in it. maybe his drunk self really thought a big bowl of milk was in the sky. zoro’s eyebrows scrunched together as he was deep in thought.

why would [name] waste a wish on something as stupid as that? — instead of his own dreams. it made zoro annoyed and pissed off. selfless bastard, he insulted in his head.

“do you think the moon is a big cheese?”

zoro deadpanned again. what the fuck was wrong with him.

“if the moon was a big cheese, i’d give you a bigggg slice,” [name] grinned, nodding his head in affirmation, “cheese is yummy,”

“mhm,” zoro hummed in a bored tone.

then he felt the weight on his chest grow heavier and the body against his turn limp.

“oi.” he called out, going to shake [name] awake before holding himself back. the man was sleeping with a tired grin on his face, mumbling incoherent phrases about the moon and cheese. zoro was tuning him out as he just thought about how annoying he was being.

zoro sat up, allowing [name]’s body to hit the ground briefly before squatting down and forcing his tall figure onto his back, “he comes all the way out here,” he grunts, balancing the weight on his back and adjusting his grip, “then has the audacity to fall asleep,” he begins walking down through the grassy fields, “all for a stupid milk, cheese moon…i’ll kill him when he wakes up,”

“marimo, cheese,” [name] said in his sleep, making zoro very tempted in whacking him awake and making him walk the rest of the way to merry. but zoro restrained himself and told himself he would just harshly drop [name] onto the deck of merry the second they arrived.

by some miracle, zoro made it back to merry without getting completely lost. and it seemed that despite them abandoning their post over an hour ago, they were still the only ones that were on board. and zoro withheld throwing [name] onto the floor, clicking his tongue in annoyance as he walked to the boy’s dorm.

then he put [name] down into one of the hammocks, sighting in exhaustion of carrying the much taller man.

“marimo, stay,”

“i’m not a fucking dog, you asshole.”

“marimo, sit,”

“oi!!”

“shhh,” [name] put his finger to zoro’s lips, making him shut up, but ultimately only piss zoro off further. “cheese moon,”

“holy fucking shit,” zoro groaned in disbelief, standing up and leaving the room to retrieve a water from the kitchen. surprisingly, the chef was back and moving around the familiar domain as he prepared some dish. “hah? when did you get back?”

“just now, stupid marimo. where’s [name]? don’t tell me you two killed each other?”

“shut up, ero cook,” zoro bit back, going to get a glass and some medication from the cabinet, “the idiot got drunk,”

“[name]? he doesn’t drink,” sanji said, a look of surprise on his face.

“yeah, i know,” zoro said, moving past sanji and getting water from the sink.

”i’ll make him a hangover remedy then,” the chef said easily, rolling his sleeves up without wasting a second.

“you care that much about the idiot?”

“who’s the one getting him medication and water?”

there was silence in the kitchen and zoro stormed out of there with a pissed off look on his face. then he stomped over to the dorms and forced the pill down [name]’s throat, as well as big gulps of water. [name], surprisingly, didn’t complain all that much. only going limp against the hammock once zoro was done. and just as the swordsman was going to leave, [name]’s hand grabbed ahold of his pant leg.

“let go,” zoro commanded, tugging his leg to get [name]’s grip free.

“stay, look at the moon with me, zoro,”

“we’re-” zoro cut himself off, finding the words he wanted to say die in the back of his throat. what he wanted to say was, that there was no moon in sight from the inside of the dormitory.

but just as he was going to, [name]’s hand pointed upward at the ceiling, a blissful smile on his face, “right there,”

now usually, zoro would have said something along the lines of, “you delusional fuck, that’s the wood ceiling,”

but, again, the words died at the back of his throat. instead, he found himself taking a rest in the hammock beside [name]’s and looking at the ceiling.

“yep, the cheese moon is definitely something,” he drawled out, crossing his arms over his chest.

“hehe, thanks, zoro,” [name] smiled, eyes still shut as he was going in and out of sleep, “for drinking with me.”

”yeah, it’s never happening again so cherish this memory,” zoro sarcastically bit back, a mocking look on his face — one that [name] didn’t even see as he was still in a sleepy state.

but even though [name]’s eyes were shut and a blissful look was on his face, zoro was wide awake and left expectingly staring at the other man. and when he caught himself staring, he turned his head to the side immediately and rolled his eyes.

“idiot,” was whispered into the air as he tried to will himself to sleep, body still turned away from [name]’s. “fucking idiot.”

nami - hit different by sza

“man, i get more in love with you each argument. something wrong with me, i like the way you screw your face up, trigger me right when i need it. you wrong, but i can’t get along without you. it’s a shame and i can’t blame myself, keep on loving you. you do it different. all that i know is, mirrors inside of me — they recognize you. please, don’t deny me”

onlookers were watching the two on the street with terrified expressions.

“quit being unreasonable, [name]!”

“but i’m not, nami,” he drawled her name out, a teasing tone evident in his voice.

the townspeople all flinched at his response, finding him courageous for walking such a thin line in front of someone that was so obviously angered.

[ a couple minutes before ]

[name] and nami were exploring the town, walking side by side and paying attention to all the vendors that interested them. [name] already had some shopping bags in his hands, courtesy of nami’s spending habits, but wasn’t complaining at all.

she would drag him every which way and he wouldn’t say a single complaint. he was in a pretty good mood, so he wasn’t going to drag anyone else’s mood down either, even if he didn’t appreciate being treated like a ragdoll of some sort.

“oooh, do you think usopp would like this?” nami asks, pointing to a patterned bandana inside one of the shops, “i want to pay him back for making the climatact for me,”

“i think he likes neutral colors more, though,” he commented, looking over the options and seeing a more earth-toned bandana.

“really? i feel like he likes colorful things more, radiates his energy anyway…” [name] almost cooed at the underlying compliment nami had given the sniper, before a tick mark appeared on her forehead and she sneered, “loud, annoying, and in your face. maybe we shouldn’t even get him anything! he really did screw me over in alabasta with all those flimsy tricks!”

he rubbed up and down her back to calm her down, “it got the job done, though, so it’s alright. let’s get him one of each then, i’ll pay,” she batted her eyelashes at him, her angry demeanor washing away instantly as she purred about how much of a gentleman he was (she just didn’t want to pay and was trying to gas him up so that he would pay for more things on their shopping spree).

“shut up, i see through your tactics, nami,” he said, lightly flicking her forehead before waltzing into the shop and making a beeline straight to the attendant. she waited outside of the store, smiling to herself as she was not paying for the gift herself.

and she wasn’t standing by herself for long, but in the minutes of [name] being gone, a man had approached her. immediately she grimaced at the sight of him, but he only reacted with a smile to the look on her face.

“sorry for bothering you, miss, but i couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are-”

“not interested,” she sighed, already wondering when [name] would come back.

“i was wondering if you would be interested in going to dinner with me?”

“i already said not interested,” she repeated, tapping her foot in annoyance.

“are you waiting for someone?”

“yeah, i am actually,” she pointed her finger to the store, “he’s buying something for me and a friend right now,”

“his own money, darling? because i can assure you i have more than whatever he has,” in a way of showing off, he had pulled a thick wallet from his pant pocket. now, nami was not at all interested in the man, but rather the thick wad of beri that was resting in his leather wallet.

just as she was about to try out some of her old techniques in snatching the man’s wallet, the sound of the door behind her opening was heard.

“huh? nami, who’s this?” [name] asked, eyes already narrowed as he looked down at the much shorter man. nami elbowed him in the stomach for interrupting her process, looking up at him and sneering in his direction.

“oh, no one, he was just making small talk, weren’t you?” she directed her eyes to the stranger, trying to convey with her expression to go along with what she was saying.

“well, he can make small talk with someone else,” [name] said, cutting off any excuse the stranger would have also made to stay longer. he motioned for them to leave, looking solely at nami so that she could focus on him and not the stranger.

and with his intimidating e/c eyes now looking at her, she almost caved. but then she caught a glimpse of the wallet and remained steadfast. she wished [name] could read her mind so that he would let her do what she needed to do.

“[name], just go back to merry,” she said in a sweet tone, hoping that that would convince him.

but he was stubborn, obviously.

“yeah, man, go back to merry,” the guy chimed in, making nami internally groan at what men would do to stroke their own ego. and of course, now [name] would definitely not go back to merry after that guy told him to.

“oh, isn’t the lil man a bit demanding?” [name] teased, looking at the shorter male and faking a pout, “why the fuck do you think you have the right to tell me what to do?”

“quit being unreasonable, [name],” nami sighed, feeling her anger beginning to

“oh, but i’m not, nami.” the same tone he used on the man was now being used on her and it made her even more annoyed.

“come no, [name] can’t you see-”

“that you want this guy’s wallet? yeah.”

the man flinched at the quick comment, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. but before he could even react, [name] swiped him across the face and caught his wallet before he could even hit the ground. then he grabbed nami’s hand and began running with her away from the commotion he had caused.

“hey! get that guy! he just punched the mayor!”

“that was the mayor?!” [name] shouted out in a slight panic.

“[name]! what the hell!? why couldn’t you just let me handle it?!”

“he was pissing me off!”

“typical man behavior — you’re pissed off so you go punching everything and everyone!”

“i punched one person!”

“yeah and that one person was the mayor!”

“well, i got his wallet, shouldn’t you be rejoicing?!”

“oh yeah, thanks for doing what i could’ve done with ease in such a terrible way that now we are running from the angry townspeople!” nami shouted, pulling on his ear and dragging her down to her height and making them turn a corner to hide from the crowd.

he was leaning down so that his ear wasn’t being completely ripped off, wincing in pain.

“this is why you should’ve just gone to merry, i would’ve had that wallet in under ten minutes without the violence,” nami scolded, turning silent when a crowd of angry civilians ran past them.

[name] only spoke up when he was sure that the coast was clear, freeing himself from nami’s aggressive grip.

“i wanted to punch him in the face anyway, it was a win-win situation!”

“really? you think this is a win-win situation right now?” nami asked, her voice becoming louder with the more annoyed she was getting.

“uhm, yeah, we have the wallet and i got to punch him,” [name] shrugged, a very relaxed look on his face. “shouldn’t you be rejoicing over this right now?”

“ugh, now we have to rush off of this island, or else they’re gonna eventually catch on,” nami thought out loud, ignoring [name]’s question.

“we are pirates anyway nami, they would’ve kicked us off of the island sooner or later,” he said, bringing his arm up to rest on the wall behind her, leaning into it. he peered down at her with a grin, not at all bothered by the state they were in.

nami crossed her hands over her chest and looked to the side as she thought about how they’d even get to merry without attracting the crowd. the island was small and they were bound to bump into some civilian on the way back. noticing how lost in thought she was in, [name] sighed and pinched her side.

this made her snap her head in his direction with a glare, “are you mad at me?” he asked, making her run her hand down his face.

“what do you think, idiot?”

“no?” he wistfully asked, grinning into her palm as he felt her fight the urge to squeeze his face with all her strength.

“just shut up and let me think,” she began to trying to remember where the rest of the crew was. at least this stop was planned to be quick to begin with or else she would be fuming at [name] right now.

“c’mon, don’t be mad at me, nami,” he whined like a kid, only making her more distracted from her rational thinking.

“you’re only making me more mad,” she huffed, finally looking up at him and scowling at the face he was making. he was attempting puppy dog eyes towards her, but she just smooshed his face (again) with her hand and grabbed him by the wrist. “we have to go back and warn everyone,”

“yes, ma’am,” he obediently chimed in, walking with in a pep in step as he followed her.

their walk back included him humming his signature tune as she was trying to calm her anger towards [name] down. but as they walked back, she realized that her anger wasn’t as strong as she would have liked. she wishes that she could make [name] grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness from her, for causing such a hinderance in their stop at this island, but the more she listened to his humming, the more her anger subsided.

annoying ass, she thought to herself, squeezing his wrist especially hard, knowing that it wouldn’t actually hurt him. he even had the audacity to giggle to himself after she had done that.

when they finally made it back to merry, she ordered him to get ready to set sail while making sure that everyone else was already on board.

“woah, nami, you look extra pissed, what’s going on?” usopp commented, lifting his goggles off of his eyes and putting down the trinket he was fiddling with.

“why don’t you ask that dumbass over there?” she sneered, making usopp shiver at the sheer annoyance in her voice. then he looked at [name], stomped over, and began stretching his cheeks.

“what did you do to make nami so mad?! y’know she’s just gonna get mad at us now!!”

“well, i didn’t make her mad on purpose!” [name] weakly defended, but usopp wasn’t having it. “some guy was being a creep so i punched him,”

nami’s eye twitched at the reminder while usopp’s soul slowly left his body.

”whatever! it doesn’t matter now! usopp, is everyone on board?!” nami said, making the sniper snap out of his stupor to quickly reply back to the enraged nami that everyone was present. “then tell them to get ready to set sail, we’re leaving now. i really don’t want to worry about a marine ship ambushing us…”

“yes, nami!!” he screamed, running off to follow her orders.

after successfully getting away from the island, [name] walked to the tangerine trees that were on top of merry and grabbed a handful from the delicate branches. as far as he knew, nami went to her cartography room to work in peace, but he wanted to extend some sort of apology to her for ruining their stop at the island.

he didn’t think it was all that big of a deal, but he could tell how annoyed she was at him. so he diligently and carefully peeled the skin away from the juicy fruit, throwing them to the garbage, and neatly plating the now naked tangerines on a nice dish.

when he got her door, he gently knocked and entered after a couple of seconds of silence. nami saw that it was him and immediately rolled her eyes, before seeing that he did not come empty handed.

“what is it?” she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest and swiveling her chair to face him. he stood in front of her, smiling gently as he presented the plate to her. she only looked up at him unimpressed.

“i wanted to say sorry, i admit that it was kind of dumb of me to cause a scene back there,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he saw that she was still not impressed, “you were right about the whole thing. it was just annoying seeing his ego get stroked that high,”

she sighed, dropping her glare and grabbing the plate from him to take a slice.

“it’s whatever now, we are already on course to a nearby island where we can properly restock. it’s fine, [name],” she looked back at her sketched out maps, chewing and swallowing the tangerine with a pleasant smile on her face. “you even brought some tangerines, not that that immediately makes you not guilty, but at least you’re actually sorry.”

“of course i am, caused a lot of trouble for us and you,”

she waved her hand, “just forget about it,”

he grinned, taking a seat on the floor and leaning on one of the legs of the table, “we’ll forget about it?” he asked in a giddy tone, happy to be in her good grace’s again.

she hummed in confirmation, popping another slice in her mouth with a carefree grin. he was about to cheer at the fact, but then she cheekily added in, “for the price of 10,000 beri, i’ll even forgive you for the last time you pissed me off.”

he immediately deflated at the twist, “but i don’t even know when that was-”

“ah, ah, that’s not my problem, it’s completely optional if you even wanna pay that debt off — i’ll just add more interest the longer you don’t pay it back,”

“hey, that’s taking it too far,” he whined like a kicked puppy, but she didn’t falter.

“you wanna argue with me again?”

“don’t know it was kind of fun last time,”

“i’ll kick you,”

“that’s sanji’s forte, nami,” he teased, making her slap him upside the head. he only grinned, weakly rubbing the spot, “you love me anyway, you’d never kick me~”

there was a bout of silence and [name] almost snickered in amusement, until he felt the heel of her shoe dig into his thigh. making him yelp in pain instead of giggling.

”whatever helps you sleep at night, [name]~” she said in the same tone that he used, a mocking grin on her face as he writhed in pain.

she wasn’t actually mad at him, she also didn’t even jab her heel into his leg that hard — he was purposely exaggerating to make her laugh some more. she found it endearing, sort of, and simply watched in amusement as he whined about the “never-ending” pain in his leg.

usopp - pressure by the 1975

“you’ve seen so many faces that i’ve never seen before. i left an unrewarding message telling you to come. overdramatic, automatically assume i’ll stay the same. there’s a change in pressure. we’re never gonna lie to you. my broken veins say that if my heart stops beating, we’ll bleed the same way.”

usopp was rather intimidated by [name]. similar to how chopper is, however, usopp had never gotten over this irrational fear and intimidation, yet. but it’s not the fear of “what will [name] do to us? will he betray us?” not that kind of fear. it’s more so the fear of being replaced and the fact that [name] could easily fill his space on the ship and do so much more than usopp could.

that’s what his doubts, worried, and voices in his head say at least. put himself down and uplift [name] in the same sentence. it’s a dangerous combination.

what usopp doesn’t know is that, [name] is rather envious of the sniper. he often watches the man and feels how deeply and dearly he wishes he could live life as usopp does. there is just something so envious about how usopp lives. while the sniper may think that he lives his life in fear and in a cowardice way, [name] thinks the opposite.

usopp is very brave, in his eyes. he thinks that usopp is also really selfless. qualities that [name] wishes he had. even on top of that, there are so many ways [name] wishes he was like usopp.

it’s ironic. how usopp beats himself up and wishes he were more like [name], the man himself wishes he were more like usopp.

“don’t you think your experience out on the sea gives you an advantage?” usopp asks, his eyes blown wide as he had heard [name] sincerely confess his envious emotions to the man. he didn’t believe him. how could he? when something as outlandish as the highly wanted man, figure of power ad intimidating, says to him — usopp — how jealous he is of how he lives. it already sounds like a terrible joke and an even worse lie.

“i guess, but that’s not what i’m talking about,” [name] leans forward and points his finger into usopp’s chest, “i’ve lost my heart, usopp, that’s what i mean.”

usopp blinks a couple of times, trying to process the words, but he can’t seem to understand what [name] means. he was a kind man, [name] has shown this ever since usopp has known him. despite the hostility he faced on board merry when they all first met, there was never an ounce of that being repaid to the rest of the crew. he just took the brash attitude with a smile and nod of his head.

“i don’t think it’s entirely my fault, i guess,” [name] continues on, lifting his finger off of usopp’s chest, “environment shapes a person and all…but there was definitely a line i had crossed on my own a long time ago that makes it so you can’t turn back, y’know?” usopp doesn’t respond because he doesn’t know how to.

“usopp, you’re a kind person, very kind. and i’m jealous of how far that kindness stretches. i can only throw my emotions so far before they snap,” he laughs as if what he had said was funny, but it really was a pitiful action. he didn’t think it was funny how cold and devoid of basic human understanding he has become. he thinks its sad…

and usopp still doesn’t completely understand. if he were in [name]’s position, to be so strong and so capable on his own, he’d be the happiest and most fulfilled man alive. to usopp, the answer to all of his problems is to become stronger and stronger until he is simply the strongest. of course, he sees that as impossible. mainly due to [name]’s existence reminding him that there are stronger people out there.

which is why usopp can’t understand what [name] means.

[name], the strong and feared by many pirate, could easily have the world in the palm of his hands with the amount of power he wields. and by that logic, he should feel like he is the most accomplished man. things like emotion wouldn’t really be the biggest deal, wouldn’t it? not when you have such an influence on the people around you due to your strength, right?

“i don’t understand…” usopp says softly, still trying to really wrap his head around it, “you’re stronger than me, isn’t that more important than whatever quality i have?”

[name] laughs, this time usopp can’t tell where it stems from. pity? genuine moment of happiness? stupor?

“you’d rather be strong instead of kind? i don’t think that’s true, usopp,” [name] says, wiping a tear from his laughter from the corner of his eye, “what i had to do to reach this point, you wouldn’t want that for yourself, even if it makes you strong. i want what you have, though, genuine courage and bravery.”

usopp almost sputtered out a laugh at that, thinking that [name] was just playing a joke on him. but with how serious [name] had become, it was clear that the man was not kidding.

“i think you’re brave, usopp, it makes me jealous. i wish i had as many capabilities that you had,” [name] sighs, resting his cheek in his palm, “it’d make life simpler. i wouldn’t have to worry about such stupid things, the stuff going on up here,” he tapes the side of his temple, “they’d all disappear in a moment’s notice. i think about too much. being strong doesn’t mean all of your problems are solved, y’know?”

“i don’t believe that,” usopp says firmly, shaking his head, “if i were stronger from the get go, many things would have been different. and i don’t mean any metaphorical stuff, no, i mean if i were as physically and mentally capable as you — my life would have changed for the better!”

usopp thinks about his hometown, what he could have done for the people there if he were more mature and strong, like [name] was, if he held himself differently, all that could have changed. to think that [name] would call what strength he had a burden, or insinuate it as one, was kind of annoying. usopp would do anything to be as strong as [name].

“well, if two opposites ends of the spectrum talk about the same thing, there would obviously be differing opinions. but i truly don’t think striving for that physical strength is worth that time and effort of yours, usopp. it’s good to be strong, yeah, but…overdoing it shouldn’t be the goal,” [name] advises, “besides, i think you’re fine as you are right now.”

“but there’s so much i could improve on,” a list sprouts in usopp’s head immediately.

“you are your own worst critic, of course there is so much you think you could improve on. but by focusing so much on that, you’re not highlighting your already existing strengths,” [name] looks disappointed as he speaks, petting his hair down on usopp’s bandana, “instead of trying to mimic or compare yourself to others, your practice should be more self-centered.”

usopp was going to emphasize there was nothing particularly interesting about how he currently was, but something was telling him that [name] wouldn’t allow such a critique to slide in his presence. usopp had never been able to see such a side of [name]. it was stern and strict, kind of intimidating, but there was definitely an undertone of nothing but care in his voice. he genuinely cared about how usopp viewed himself and his “strengths.” it made usopp almost turn into mush.

to think someone as strong as [name] cared about him so deeply. in his mind, someone of his capabilities shouldn’t even worry about him. what’s the saying? no one intentionally steps on bugs, it just happens? whatever, usopp thinks to himself, not being able to come up with the exact phrasing. you get what he means! he just never thought he was capable of even crossing [name]’s mind.

but, as he had just found out, it seems [name] thinks about him quite often. it’s flattering, but usopp reminds himself to not grow an ego out of nothing.

“we stand on equal ground, at the end of the day,” [name] says, a sense of finality in his voice, “we are all here for the same one or two reasons. to see luffy become the pirate king and achieve our own personal goals. that’s what we are all here for, on merry. i feel like we always overlook that simple fact. i tend to forget sometimes, too, but ground yourself, usopp. i understand why you would want to become stronger, i really do…but like i said, you’ll only hurt yourself overdoing it,”

“also, i don’t need you to be the strongest. i just need you to be there for luffy,” [name] added in, not hesitating as he spoke, “luffy doesn’t need the absolute strongest people on his crew, he needs support and his friends. if you’re already doing that, usopp, there really isn’t much else that’s to be expected of you. that goes for all of us.”

and with a firm slap on his shoulder, [name] walks away from the conversation with nothing but hope in how he might’ve been able to change usopp’s point of view. there’s no way of knowing for sure if it was successful.

“don’t need to be the strongest?” usopp thought out loud, looking out at the sea of thinking of his original dream from when he first joined luffy’s ship. he wants to be the bravest warrior on the sea…huh, he never realized it, but the word strongest wasn’t the one he was originally thinking of when he set out to sea.

after talking to [name], in an uncharacteristically serious conversation, it felt as if there was a weight lifted off of usopp’s shoulders. the change in pressure was noticeable and usopp really did feel lighter. he didn’t expect his talk with you to play out this way, but he wasn’t complaining. it was eye opening, but not in the way he imagined. he thought that he was going to get an ugly slap of reality; someone of your prowess going to tell him the hard truth that there was no room for weak people in the world, you were going to have carry his dead weight — something like that. but it never came.

instead you simply comforted him, but still gave him a hard pill to swallow. being strong wasn’t as important as he thought it was. perhaps it was because usopp had thought himself to be weak since he was young and you — granted he didn’t know your situation perfectly, but he could assume you were strong since you were young — who had been so capable since you were young. such different experiences, which si what made him feel so much whiplash after your conversation.

but he’s thankful. because he truly does feel relief in this moment. to know you value him and see him for who he is despite his lack in physical or battle strength. he likes knowing that, enjoys knowing that he is needed despite his flaws. he never knew he’d feel such sentiments from you, but he’s glad he sought out this conversation.

he experienced a significant change in pressure and he was lighter than ever.

sanji - moonlight on the river by mac demarco

“it’s so strange, deciding how i feel about you. it ain’t like, i ain’t used to going on without you. i’m home, with moonlight on the river, saying my goodbyes.”

the sound of a lighter flicking on could be heard echoing on the empty street. sanji’s lips were pursed around his cigarette, holding it steady as his hand was cupped around the end he was trying to light. [name] was too busy watching a family of ducks swim across the river they were walking along to realize that sanji was holding the now lit cigarette for him.

“oh, thanks,” [name] said, taking it into his fingertips and helping himself to the unhealthy treat. he kept it in his fingertips for as long as possible, sadly watching as sanji took it from him after a couple of seconds.

“why’re you always pouting? it’s an annoying look,” sanji grunted, moving the cigarette to the corner of his mouth so he could properly talk.

“cause i want it and you always end up hogging it,”

“well, who’s the one buying them, dipshit,” sanji scowled, taking teh cigarette from his mouth and forcing it into [name]’s, “you and luffy really have that in common, y’know? it’s like you two were born to complain,”

[name] grinned at the mention of luffy before realizing that sanji had just insulted him, making him smack him on the back of his head, “what a polite chef you are!”

“only to the women,” sanji said with pride, a grin on his face.

the two were walking along the river, late at night, just to get a breather from merry. nami had recently complained about the smell of smoke lingering far too long for her liking, so sanji had made it a habit to smoke as often as possible not on board merry. [name] invited himself on these walks, which sanji honestly didn’t mind. the company wasn’t actually that annoying and it was comforting, he guesses.

[name] and him would walk along through the town, making it back to merry in an hour or two and get a good night’s rest. sometimes, they’d even shower at the same time to speed up the process, but that’s a story for another time.

“do you like the taste of it?” sanji asked, breaking the silence. he watched carefully as [name] inhaled and blew out the smoke, the man turning to look at sanji in confusion, “the cigarette - do you like the taste of it?”

“what an odd question,” [name] said with his head slightly tilted.

“you have one of the most sensitive tongues on merry, it was just out of curiosity,” sanji noted, pointing out an obvious fact and why he drew that connection in the first place. this made the other make a sound of realization and nod his head in understanding.

“oh, well, not really? but also i don’t mind it…it’s not the worst thing i’ve ever had,” [name] said with a grin, taking another drag before flicking off the ash that built up at the tip.

“yeah, you and your hatred for sweets is a real pain,” sanji swiped the cigarette, “everyone else likes them and i got to prepare you your own batch,”

sanji didn’t really find it annoying or bothersome, truthfully. if anything, he found it quite exciting. challenging his knowledge on what would be palatable on someone that was picky on stuff like desserts, it was fun. getting to create new recipe and have the perfect tester there to show whether or not the bitter food was good or not.

but sanji would rather drop dead than admit any of that out loud. [name] didn’t need to know all those embarrassing things.

“you never have to, y’know? i can live without those dishes,” [name] said in a carefree manner. that made an angry tick mark appear on sanji’s forehead.

“oh, so your saying that my efforts are wasted? you’re gonna insult me, as a chef, just like that? don’t piss me off,” sanji sneered, covering up his true thoughts with outward hostility instead.

“haha, sorry, sorry,” [name] said waving his hand, obviously not taking sanji’s threats or tone of voice serious as he had a cheerful look on his face.

“why do you hate them so much? i mean, you practically vomited that one time you accidentally ate one,” sanji mumbled, more-so thinking out loud than actually looking for an answer, “luffy even knew about it, and if that idiot knows something is important enough to actually stick, then it must be something you’ve always disliked as a kid,”

there was silence as [name] took the cigarette from sanji and kept a hold on it, “hm, yeah, i guess i’ve always just hated sweets as a kid and i never grew out of it. it just isn’t my cup of tea,” a tight smile was on his face as he explained, “but if that’s the only thing left to eat and i’m starving, i’ll force it down! i also hate wasting food,”

slightly shocked at the confession, sanji peeked a look at [name] from the side, shaking his head in disbelief at how carefree [name] was talking about something so personal, and seemingly, sensitive.

“you won’t go starving anytime soon,” sanji spoke after a couple moments of silence, “somehow you manage to get your fill in with our captain’s big appetite, so i think you’ll really be fine,”

“if you think so,” [name] shrugged, still holding the cigarette between his long fingers. “i just don’t like them at all, the after affects of being hyper and all that, too. i don’t need that type of high-alert energy, y’know?”

the chef supposed he could understand. well, personally, he didn’t mind sweets and definitely wouldn’t turn down a perfectly fine dish simply because it was sweet. but he understands preferences, he was a chef at a restaurant where he got to see all different people walk through the doors.

sanji didn’t mind catering to [name]’s unique tastebuds, as he’s mentioned before.

another bout of silence washed over the two. another cigarette was bumped out of the carton, this time, [name] taking it to light. sanji held the lighter to the tip, watching carefully to see when he could pull away. his head was craned upwards to look at the cigarette hanging off of [name]’s lips.

“what about that tattoo on your back? where’s that from?”

[name] blinked at the question, smiling softly, “you’re awfully talkative tonight,” just as sanji was about to snap at him for saying something like that, he added in, “it’s nice, i like getting to talk on these walks of ours. feels real special.” a cloud of smoke followed his explanation and sanji ducked his head down to hide facial expression.

“i got it a long time ago, just when i was a teenager,” [name] mulled in thought, trying to recall the memory, “i got it a couple islands over from me and luffy’s home. they’re supposed to symbolize freedom…it sounds silly, but i really do believe that wings are what bring us freedom,” [name] looked up at the sky and smiled, “closer to up there is closer to freedom, i guess.”

“what? like some god?”

[name] scoffed, shaking his head, “hell no, just to the ones that watch over us, i guess. those you hold dear that…” his voice trailed off and he cleared his throat to stop himself from saying anymore.

sanji took in his words in silence.

“you get closer to them, you get closer to showing them how much you’ve accomplished. i don’t know, it’s nice to think about, and guides morals, i guess,” sanji remained silent the entire time, looking up at the sky with a conflicted expression.

the moon was shining bright on the both of them, refracting from every surface of the water and lighting up the area around them.

“that’s your idea of freedom?” sanji asked, pointing a lazy finger at the sky.

“i guess, i don’t really know. it could just be that i like the way it sounds,” [name] grinned, feeling mischievous as he spoke.

sanji made a sound that showed he was irked, unable to believe that the man who said something so sentimental was just as childish.

“what about you sanji? your idea of freedom?” [name] asked, taking the cigarette in his fingertips.

“i don’t know, i don’t think about that stuff half as much as you or luffy do,” sanji shrugged, “i don’t think my freedom will be compromised anytime soon, so it’s not something i have to worry about in keeping secure.”

[name] hummed in understanding. more silence before he spoke again, “and what about the ones you care about, what about their freedom?”

“if you’re talking about the crew, that’s a dumb question. do you really doubt everyone that much? think that they can’t protect themselves and their own freedom? their own dreams?” sanji was obviously defensive, an offended look on his face as he surveyed [name].

“no, it’s not like that,” [name] interjected, “you just don’t think about others that much?”

“don’t make it sound like i’m a selfish prick because i’m not,” sanji huffs, getting annoying with [name]’s wording and whatever his intentions were.

“i’m not saying that either. just because you think more about yourself than others doesn’t mean you’re a selfish prick. it was just a question, sanji,” [name] calmly responded, finding no reason to get angry with sanji for his attitude.

the two were capable of having a conversation without yelling directly at each other, shocker.

“it’s good to know what you want, it’s good to think about that — self-reflection or something,” [name] said, as calm as he was before, “it’s good to know how far you’re willing to go, to step up when the time comes. you know what i mean?”

sanji rolled his eyes, finding [name]’s tone aggravating, but decided not to comment on it. instead he snatched his cigarette back, “this type of conversation doesn’t suit a guy like you, it’s way too serious and complex,”

“i’m the one who initiated it, give me some more credit,” [name] whined, slapping sanji’s back as a means of defending himself, “i’m not an idiot.”

“really?” sanji deadpanned, almost laughing at the way [name] glared at him with such venom.

“what?! hey, i was the one trying to have a mature conversation with you and you’re the one who blew up on me, so who’s the more immature one,” [name] called out, pulling the bottom of his eyelid down in a taunting manner.

“i’m not immature, you were just asking some real dumb questions! of course i think about how to protect the crew if the time ever comes, but i don’t ever doubt them! isn’t that obvious? haven’t we sailed together long enough for this to be obvious to you?” sanji questioned, tone sharp as it was now his turn to interrogate [name].

the taller man hummed, “i suppose you’re right, i don’t know why i doubted you.”

“shit for brains,”

“thanks for being so reliable, sanji,” [name] smiled, throwing an arm around sanji’s shoulder with a wide grin on his face, “i know i can trust you. you know that, right?”

“whatever,” sanji said, uncharacteristically quiet as his shoulders and head slumped downward, hiding his facial expressions from [name].

“i mean it! you’re the strongest on merry, of course after me, oh and after luffy…hm, and i guess after zoro!” [name] said that last part in a rush, knowing it’d cause sanji to run after him in a fury. but before he detached himself from sanji’s side, he took the cigarette from him and pushed it to the corner of his mouth.

sanji processed his words, watching as [name] was running off in the direction of merry. then it clicked and he was fuming. his eyebrow became slanted as he pointed a finger at [name]’s running figure, “oi! come back here you dipshit! i’ll kick some manners into you! fucking imbecile!”

[name]’s laughter echoed in the air, along with sanji’s shouts of fury. the trail of smoke coming from the cigarette in the h/c haired man’s mouth disappearing into the night as sanji continued chasing [name] until they arrived on merry.

the blonde watched as [name] jumped onto the ship with easy, throwing the cigarette into the ocean, and teasing him once more by sticking his tongue out. then he was disappearing on deck, probably to the bathroom to shower before bed.

and sanji was breathing heavily as he watched, still on the ground and not on the ship. and he sighed to himself, putting a hand to his chest to calm his breathing. as well as racing heart. the other hand went up to his face, covering half of it as he mentally scolded himself to calm down.

god, [name] really did exhaust the hell out of sanji. in more ways than one.

tony tony chopper - forrest gump by frank ocean

“you run my mind, boy. running on my mind, boy. forrest gump. i know you, forrest. i know you wouldn’t hurt a beetle. but you’re so buff and so strong. i’m nervous, forrest. // forrest green, forrest blues. i’m remembering you. if this is love, i know it’s true. i won’t forget you. it’s for you, forrest. it’s for you forrest. forrest gump.”

chopper idolized [name], to put it very simply. from their first meeting, [name] had made a strong impression on the boy. first off, he knew he was a reindeer and correctly addressed him, which chopper learned would be a rare occurence since people seemed to think he was some sort of raccoon dog…

and ever since that moment, [name] had only shown chopper how strong and capable he was. sometimes, it makes the doctor feel inferior and not an adequate member of the straw hats because of the strength difference, but those feelings were truly rare. because [name] made sure to treat chopper as an equal as well as a friend, not someone beneath him.

chopper was currently lounging on the railway of merry, near the back of the ship and simply enjoying the breeze. it was a nice day outside and the smell of the sea was something he could never get tired of.

“chopper? what’re you doing?” [name] voice made chopper lift his head from the planks and offer a cheesy grin.

“just relaxing,” [name] smiled at the response, plopping down next to chopper and spreading his long limbs out as he sighed in content.

“do you mind if i join you?”

chopper shook his head, a smile on his face as he watched [name] visibly relax and get comfortable next to him.

“the sun’s not bothering you? it’s pretty hot, y’know,” [name] commented, waving his hand to fan the reindeer, who merely shook his head.

“nope, cause the sea breeze is cooling me off,” chopper explained, making [name] hum in understanding. chopper watched as [name] flapped the bottom of his shirt up and down to allow more air flow, showing that he was affected by the heat.

chopper remained silent, eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly before he decided to not ask the question that was on his mind. as a doctor, he had a hunch as to why [name] was so sensitive to hot and cold weather, especially since their first meeting on drum island. but it was just speculation and theory. he never got a clear answer from [name]. but, then again, chopper never asked.

honestly, he was very curious about [name]. he was like a medical anomaly. dr. kureha and him were probably the only people that knew about how strange his existence was. well, chopper definitely was way more shocked about his being, but dr. kureha simply shrugged it off. this made chopper believe [name]’s case wasn’t all that crazy…

but the more he thinks about it, the more it pesters him. how is something like that even possible?

just as he was drowning in his thoughts, there was a sudden pressure against his nose. he blinks, eyes zoning in on the finger that was pressing against him. he looks up, finding a grinning [name] already staring at him.

“what were you thinking about? i could practically see steam coming from your head, chopper,” his own observation made him chuckle and chopper smiled sheepishly at being caught.

“nothing,” chopper clears his throat a couple of times before speaking again, “say, [name]?” a hum from the man he was addressing, “you’ve been a pirate for a long time right?”

e/c eyes stray away and stare out at the sea before he nods in confirmation.

“then, have you ever met anyone stronger than you? what was the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?”

[name] chuckles at the question, pursing his lips, “what’s up with everyone wondering about strong people and things? i swear, you and usopp are obsessed with that type of stuff,” it wasn’t a mean comment, the fond smile on [name]’s face made that obvious, but chopper still felt his face get warm in embarrassment.

“ever since we’ve left my island, i feel like we haven’t met anyone that exceeded you. that’s why i was wondering if before you joined luffy’s crew you had a run in with someone stronger than you,” chopper explained, feeling shy. “even in alabasta, you didn’t have a lot of trouble with the people we were facing…i didn’t see any fights! but, everyone was so badly injured, and then you were only injured because of the whole falling out of the sky thing,”

[name] laughs at the memory, scratching his neck, “that’s true, i guess. but to answer your question, there are many physically stronger people than me, without a doubt. but i still think i’m the strongest,” he’s confident and chopper can tell the man truly does believe that. it’s obvious in the way he speaks and carries himself. but what he just said was directly contradictory, wasn’t it?

“the craziest thing i’d ever seen…” [name] thinks out loud, making chopper look at him in wonder, “a guy that could control everything in a certain radius! he was a doctor like you, actually. when i first met him, it was kind of scary,”

“woah!!” chopper’s eyes immediately sprouted stars and [name] almost cooed at the sight. sometimes the man forgets how unique his experiences are, especially to someone like chopper. someone that had known only his island and that was it. “did you guys fight?! was he also another pirate?!”

“he’s another pirate, yeah, but…well, i don’t think you can call what happened fighting since i beat him up!” [name] flashed his widest grin at chopper and threw up a thumbs up.

“so cool!!!” chopper exclaimed, clapping his hands.

“i have a lot of stories, if you want to hear them?” [name] offers, stretching his long limbs out and letting out a groan at the relief.

“how about fights and stuff? i wanna see you fight some day!” the stars in chopper’s eyes seemed as if they were going to never go away as he giddily spoke to [name].

“i don’t know…most of them are really lack luster,” [name] sweatdrops, watching as chopper visibly deflates, “but that’s only because i beat everyone before they even had a chance,” and he was back to having stars in his eyes.

“woah!! so cool!!” chopper’s hooves were glasped together as he eagerly waiting for more stories.

“by the time luffy becomes pirate king, chopper, you’re going to have so many more stories than i do,” [name] comments fondly, “i never got to properly thank you, i think,”

“what for?”

“for not telling anyone about,” [name] gestures to his scars, a grin on his face despite the sad reality of his appearance, “i appreciate it,”

chopper only nodded, remembering the first time him and dr. kureha discovered the markings as well as their origins…or at least their theories on where they had come from.

”were you scared when you saw them? why do you look so scared now?”

the poor reindeer flinched at the question causing [name] to start laughing at the reaction. chopper flailed in explaining himself, not wanting to offend the man, “no, i was just, just remembering! the first time i saw them! and no, i wasn’t scared! there was no reason to be scared,” chopper’s voice trailed off as he realized that [name] was only teasing him earlier, looking off to the side to avert his eyes.

“if you say so,” [name] continues on teasing, poking the reindeer’s blue nose to which chopper smacks his hand away.

“me and dr. kureha were studying them,” chopper murmurs, “whoever had done the stitches, considering how miniscule they are, obviously did a good job. but…how were they even able to get the me-”

“pft, that’s not important,” [name] says with a carefree smile, waving his hand, “well, you’re right, the person who did them was a reaaalll professional, but i don’t think it’s important in explaining how or why,”

“was it the pirate you mentioned earlier that did them?” chopper curiously asked.

“definitely not,” [name] laughed, trying to imagine his friend being the one to give him those scars, “no, i’ve had these for a long time, chopper. which is why it’s not really relevant to me in talking about them. it doesn’t matter to me anymore, but i still don’t want people knowing so — shhh!”

chopper blinks a couple of time before nodding his head, “i’ll keep it a secret, [name],”

“thanks, chopper, i know i can trust you,” as [name] reaches out to pat chopper on his furry back, the light hit his silver necklace so perfectly that it made chopper cover his eyes to hide from the shine. that was also a big deal to [name] back then, but it was something that probably had heavy sentimental meaning.

either way, chopper was going to keep everything [name] had just told him a secret.

seeing the pleased and relaxed expression on [name]’s face, chopper was glad to know he had some sort of impact on him. it made him especially happy to know it caused a positive reaction from [name]. for how much the man does for the crew and chopper, such as dealing with his “scaredy cat” antics, the reindeer was happy to somewhat return the favor — even if it was miniscule.

meanwhile, in the back of [name]’s mind, he couldn’t help but feel a dark looming feeling only grow larger. he fought back the urge to frown, reminding himself on how understanding and sweet chopper was for keeping his secret safe. but, deep down, he was plagued with the truth and it stressed him to no end to think about the one day his secrets would have to be laid out for all the other straw hats to know too. even now, chopper didn’t even know the full truth and it was already stressing him out.

but, [name] would deal with that when the time came for it. right now, he was just happy to be looking out at the sea with his dear crew mate next to him.

nico robin - wurli by dominic fike

“stepping outside for you, then i put links on both wrists cause you got control over me. and you got jokes like you don’t need love, baby. we don’t need long. just follow my lead for once. i can never make up for the time. i’m gone make the wait all worth the ride.”

robin found [name] to be an interesting person to study.

a couple of years younger than her, a significant amount, actually, and still holding onto such a heavy weight of trauma and relatability to her. she smiles softly each time she thinks about him for too long. it’s a sad smile. on one hand, she’s happy that there could possibly be someone in her presence that could understand where she comes from as well as understanding her secrets.

but it pains her to know that someone so similar, with such similarly lived experiences, is beside her side. she wouldn’t wish a fraction of her life onto anyone else, to know that [name] undoubtedly had more than a fraction of it was heart breaking.

to many people’s surprise, nico robin is an extremely sentimental and emotional person. she has just simply forced herself to suppress those attributes of herself due to the world she lives in. but she knows herself, she knows that one of her weak point could be her emotional side.

he’s a grown man, she tells herself, to prevent herself from pitying the man too much, especially because she knows he would not appreciate a feeling of pity from anyone.

“do you want a cup of coffee, robin?” his soothing voice breaks her out of her daydreaming, collecting herself fast enough that she is able to answer with a quick nod and soft thank you. “no problem~”

she watches him expertly maneuver through the kitchen, an obvious sense of comfortability around him as he does.

what robin doesn’t know is that in the same way she finds [name] interesting to study, he feels an immense sense of wonderment and curiosity for the older woman. he knows that behind luffy, she is the only crew member that knows the most about him — beyond the headlines and bounty on his head. the other straw hats had their first impressions of him already set in stone, and he can’t blame them for that, but robin is different.

she had undoubtedly knows more than she currently lets on. only hinting to it briefly before, as far as [name] can recall.

he wonders if she has the wrong idea about him. but then he thinks of her situation and finds it hard to believe she would believe only surface level information about him. he has more faith in her than that. frankly, he’s curious enough to ask her. but he’s too scared.

genuinely terrified to know what it is that she knows, how much of his past does she know and have full capabilities of telling others about. not that she would, but naturally [name] doesn’t like not being in control of what others know about him. he often thinks if its worth it to take that risk and just ask her, he’d probably get the answer he wants.

but, wouldn’t that just be awkward?

he shakes his head as he pours the water over the ground up coffee beans, stealing a couple of whole beans from the bag to his right and chewing on them, deep in thought. he carefully carries the two tea cups to the kitchen table, taking a comfortable seat across from her and sipping his beverage.

“what are you thinking about, [name]?”

“i don’t know,” he answers semi-honestly. he can’t actually tell her where his mind wanders, but what he was thinking about…he couldn’t even collect his thoughts properly.

she only hummed, leaving them to sit in silence. but then out of nowhere, [name] slammed his head onto the table and let out a loud groan. she blinked in shock, poking his shoulder several times across the table.

“are you alright, orphan-san?”

“don’t call me that,” he mutters against the table. “that just doesn’t even sound morally right,”

she laughed behind her hand, apologizing quickly, “well, the government was never one to give morally correct names to wanted pirates,”

“yeah, i’m familiar,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “devil’s child, cursed orphan…it’s all such a shit show over there,”

robin isn’t surprised when he brings up her own epithet, “after hearing my name, you knew right away, huh?”

he thinks back to after they had left alabasta, the moment of realization, and nods in confirmation. a name was all he needed to know the woman’s entire history. he frowned, remembering exactly what it was.

“yeah, we’re the same,” he says with zero hesitation. “robin, we have the same enemy, y’know?” she hums and nods, unsure of the direction he was taking the conversation, “so, you know you’re not alone in this.”

she paused, sipping her coffee to avoid looking at him. because if she, she knew his e/c eyes would be expectantly peering at her and waiting for some form of agreement. truthfully, she didn’t want to make some sort of known “alliance” with [name] on where they stood on their shared enemy.

she’d rather not involve him. even if it were partially true.

”i sailed alone on the seas for a long time, both recently and a while ago,” he continued on, leaning into his chair and looking up at the ceiling, “being alone is more painful than getting hurt, luffy said that to me once. and for once that idiot was right about something. that’s why i’m trying to tell you now that that’s not your case.”

“i appreciate the sentimen-”

“i don’t want to get too emotional and dig too deep on stuff about this, though. i think just saying it is enough, if you ever had doubts, y’know?” he suddenly stands up, an embarrassed look on his face, “this is definitely not my style, blegh, i hate getting sentimental out of nowhere,” he hunches his shoulders, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he digests the situation he had just created.

she watches as he chugs the rest of his coffee down, places the empty cup into the sink, and easily walks out of the room. the kitchen door is softly shut behind him and robin is now left in silent stupor by herself.

she glances at the dark cup of coffee in front of her, smiling softly as she thinks about the man.

“he really is an enigma,” she muses to herself, finishing the last drops by herself, “knowing everything about him is like knowing nothing,”

[name] was on the forefront of her mind the rest of the day, studying him and the behaviors he had shown her the entire time they had been acquainted. he had turned what would have been a soppy, probably emotional conversation, into a curt and brisk one-sided pep talk. regardless, she still had much to think about how he interacted with the others on the crew. what his dynamic was with everyone. and the state of their relationship, even though they had only recently juts met…robin feels a strong connection with him.

he really was interesting to study.

ace - dress by taylor swift

“our secrets moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you. there is an indentation in the shape of you, made your mark on me — a golden tattoo. pining and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you. all of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting, my hands are shaking from all this. say my name and everything just stops. i don’t want you like a best friend. only bought this suit so you could take it off. take it off. carve your name into my bedpost because i don’t want you like a best friend. // and i woke up just in time, now i wake up by your side. my one and only, my lifeline.”

“ace! c’mere,” [name] called out, making the ravenette’s head snap up and look for the man calling him. he briefly apologized to usopp, who was showing him a contraption he made, and then walked off in the direction of where the sound came from. usopp and chopper watched as ace was eagerly walking away, shrugging their shoulders at the man’s rush.

“[name]? where are yo-”

suddenly, a hang was coming out from around the corner and yanking ace by strands of his hat and into a soft embrace.

“wanna show you merry,” [name] whispered, smiling softly as he felt how warm ace was in his arms. “were you doing something important?”

“no,” ace answered instantly, looking up at [name] and taking off his hat. it was placed back onto [name]’s head and the two were walking through the ship, [name] leading.

their arms were looped with one another to stay close, and because [name] found the warmth from ace so comforting, and soon small talk spurred alive between the two.

“how is everyone treating you?” ace asked first, smirking as he watched [name]’s expression, “they’re all being good to you?”

the man rolled his eyes and shot ace a deadpan look, “why are you acting as if i am a kid and that they’re the scum of the earth? obviously everything is going fine, we’re a crew, ace,”

“sorry, can’t help but worry sometimes,” ace shrugged, tone light and teasing. “gotta look out for you when i can,”

“who said you had to do that?”

“i did, it’s my duty,”

“your duty is to keep yourself out of your own trouble, not worry about others. worrying about others like you do is gonna get you killed,” [name] advised, squeezing ace’s arm against his body and turning them into the dormitories. “well, i guess i’m a hypocrite — i worry about you a lot too,”

“you’re not gonna ask if my crew is treating me well though? that stings, [name],” ace fake winces, taking a seat into a hammock and letting it rock him back and forth.

“shut up,” [name] smirks, pushing ace down and climbing in next to him. ace tries his best to relax, not wanting to show that he was obviously freaking out at [name]’s actions. the h/c-haired man is none the wiser, simply getting comfortable against ace’s chest and hugging him tight.

“i missed you a lot, ace,” [name] speaks softly, like a whisper, “you fucking idiot, you should’ve just swallowed your pride and joined luffy’s crew,”

“or, you should’ve been smarter and joined the whitebeard pirates,” ace countered, resting his hand on top of [name]’s head.

“and leave the pirate king’s crew? don’t be dumb,” [name] shoots back, faithful to the idea of luffy being the pirate king.

ace can only scoff, a lazy smirk on his face. luffy, that brat, had truly shook their childhood selves when he declared what his dreams were as well as so confidently saying that he was going to be the king of pirates. and ace couldn’t believe that [name] so easily threw himself into luffy’s arms and crew, even when they were children.

ace envies luffy in that aspect, he supposes. how he was so capable of swaying [name]. if only ace had that ability, he’d have used it for his selfish leverage at this point. especially with [name] in his arms like this. if he had a fraction of an influence that luffy had, ace would have offered once again for [name] to join his side forever.

but knowing how devoted to luffy [name] was, ace knew it was useless.

so he’ll just cherish this moment now.

“ugh, i’m hot,” [name] groaned, sitting upright and throwing off the shirt that he was wearing. cuddling up next to a human oven was not for the weak!

ace watches with practical hearts in his eyes as he watches [name] move so fluidly in discarding his layers. then his hands reach out and lift the bottom of [name]’s shirt for him, the fabric falling from his fingers the second they weigh into his hand.

“thanks, ace,”

the ravenette can only hum in acknowledgement. he bites his lip, forcing himself into silence to not ruin the moment, and shuffles his body over to accommodate [name] by his side.

the taller man so easily fit into his side. despite the obvious size difference, but neither of them minded.

then ace’s thoughts began trailing off. he can’t help but think about if things were different. his mind often went to that when it was silent. how the present would be if it were ace in the forefront of [name]’s mind, instead of god knows what. he yearns to know what the man truly thinks of him.

he wonders what would [name] think of him he had found out that his name was etched into his skin.

he doesn’t blame anyone for not really noticing the ink. it was on his back and was miniscule in comparison to his whitebeard tattoo. on the backside of where his heart would be, permanently tattooed into his skin is the other man’s name. ace had gotten it as one of his first tattoos, actually, much before he got the whitebeard one.

he was pretty worried that the jolly roger would cover it, but after the artist on the no-name island assured him it wouldn’t, he relaxed. and to this day, the ink remains strong and bold, hardly faded with the time that had passed.

and despite it being small and barely noticeable, ace simply knowing that it’s there is more than enough for him.

ace wonders how [name] would react if he saw it. if he saw for himself how far ace is willing to go to prove his devotion and love for the man. he’d get his name tattooed and so much more, in a moment’s notice with no doubts.

ace was a loyal and devoted man. this [name] knew, but he didn’t truly know the full extent. the freckled man smiles to himself as he thinks about how [name] would react.

he shivers as he remembers the feeling of the needle etching the name permanently into his skin. it stung, but after a certain amount of time, it became a dull, vibrating sensation. he squeezes you close to him as he thinks about it, wishing he had had you there with him in that moment.

“[name]?” he drawls out his name, as if that’ll make the moment between them last longer.

“ace?” he mimics it easily, making ace smile at his behavior. he really hadn’t changed all that much from when they were younger…

“would you consider getting a tattoo for me?” he asks, the question slipping past his lips in a rather meek tone.

there is a hum to show that [name] was thinking before the man finally announces, “i would, i definitely would,”

ace thinks of the tattoo that [name] already had, the one he had seen for himself again when the man discarded his shirt. the expansive wings that were tattooed into his beautiful s/c skin. ace’s finger began dancing on the outline of them, a soft smile on his face as he remembers their meaning.

”what would get for me? something as big as this one?”

[name] weakly slaps his hand into ace’s chest, “don’t say that, don’t be dumb,”

“what? it was just a question,” ace weakly defends himself, but he understands where [name] was coming from. he’d be the only one that did, to be honest, and maybe luffy — if they’re trusting that the younger one wasn’t as emotionally constipated as they thought. “but, what would you get for me?”

“i don’t know, i haven’t thought about it,” he answers honestly, making ace pout at the lack luster answer.

“not even a little bit?”

“i don’t want to get a tattoo for you for a long time, ace. ideally, never,” ace was about to question why, feeling somewhat offended, but catching the distraught look on [name]’s face he bites his tongue. it doesn’t take him long to realize why [name] had said that. silently, he holds [name] close and hugs him. “i never want to get something like this for you,”

“it doesn’t have to be something like that-”

“why would i need a tattoo of you when i know i’ll see you again then?” [name] cuts him off, holding ace tight to his person, scared he’ll slip away, “i know i don’t have to, but the association of it is too much for me…i don’t want to think of it like that, but i can’t help it. i’ll only get a tattoo for you if you die, but that won’t happen for a long time, so just drop it.”

that leaves a long silence hanging in the air.

“you’re right, i won’t die for a long time,” ace finalizes, smiling softly at the way [name] was so easily turned into a vulnerable state of a man. not because he enjoyed the sight of it, per say, but found it heart warming to know he could invoke such an emotion in him. he was stupid for assuming he couldn’t, but insecurities are insecurities for a reason. not insecure of who they were referring to, but rather of luffy. insecure of how much that boy with the straw hat could alter [name]’s emotions and well-being. to know he had that same affect on [name] made his chest bloom with a raging warmth.

“i know you won’t, which is why i won’t think about it for a long time,” it sounds like that’s the final end to their conversation and ace is almost ready to leave it as it is. but leaving it on such a sour note leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

so he says in a light tone, “get a spade for me, right above your heart. that’s all i want,”

another slap to his bare chest is shamelessly delivered to ace and he takes it, this time with a hearty laugh.

“don’t talk about it anymore, okay? i’m serious.” [name] weakly scolds, resting his palm on ace’s heart and trying to immortalize the feeling of his heart pumping against his hand.

at the feeling of his large hand resting on his skin, ace remembers just how badly he had missed this. just being close to each other and being able to just touch each other. being so far apart took a bigger toll on him than he imagined.

“what about you? want me to get another tattoo for you?” ace asks, curious to hear what [name] had to say.

“hm, i don’t know, what would you have had in mind if you did?” now it was [name]’s turn to have his fingers dance on the ink of ace’s skin, “i really like this one already,” ace can feel the smile on [name]’s face grow in size, “i really do,”

“i’m glad,” ace comments, “i got it for you after all, it would suck if you didn’t like it.”

another slap to his chest.

“as for another one…” [name] goes silent, trying to think, “wouldn’t you just get my name? i mean, that’s the only one other thing you could get for me,”

ace blinks, wondering how [name] could so easily read him.

“really, you think so? that’s a pretty big commitment,” ace comments, trying to play it off casually and not show that he was freaking out very hard on the inside. [name] had so easily predicted him! but, at least the man didn’t know that it was a reality…

“i know, but that’s the thing with you — you’re completely committed and loyal. i think you’re definitely the type to just get my name,” [name] grins up at him, teasing him by rufflinf his hair.

“oh, shut up,” ace defends himself, smooshing [name]’s face far away, “i’d never get something as cheesy as that,”

“i never said you would, i was just predicting!!” he puts his hands up in surrender, making ace sigh and release the palm he was resting on his face. “who knows, maybe next time we see each other you’re gonna have my name tattooed on your forehead because you love me that much!”

it was an obvious tease, but it got ace incredibly flustered. he sighed, looking off to the side, trying to hide his blush and be stubbornly in denial of how accurate [name]’s prediction were.

“well, i like this one you have for now and i think it’s perfect,” [name] says, lifting ace’s spirits one last time and tapping the skin before getting out of the hammock and grabbing his shirt off of the floor. “let’s go back up, the crew might have discovered something,”

“you don’t wanna stay here longer with me?” ace whines, half joking and half serious. he wishes he could stay here forever. just with [name].

[name] smiles softly, shaking his head and watching as the ravenette reluctantly gets out of his resting position.

“whatever, next time you owe me a proper nap,” ace grumbled, stretching and walking out of the dormitory area.

“yeah, when’s next time?”

“i don’t know, but i guess on my pop’s ship. i’ll bring you to meet the family, then,” ace shrugs as if it’s no big deal, but deep down he’s eager to have the most important person in his life ([name], if it wasn't obvious) meet his found family.

“i’ll look forward to it,” [name] says sincerely, smiling as he looks at the tattoo on ace’s back. he’d be more than honored to meet them, meet the people that had given ace hope in having a shot in the world — for people to take him seriously.

if he had just shifted his e/c more downwards, he would have seen the commemorative tattoo of the person that had singlehandedly given ace’s life meaning. an etching of ink that was more powerful and sentimental than [name] would have probably realized.

after all, [name] was the first only and only person to make ace realize his life wasn’t completely worthless and that there was hope for him. but that’s a story for another time.

-

[ .ᐟ ]  if there are any typos, ignore for now. it is 5:55 am (omg coincidence) as im posting this and i plan on knocking out immediatley after i hit publish <3 i will fix any major mistakes hwne i wake up I HOPE U ENJOYED EVERYONE OKKKK BYE (im going to update very very very very soon btw <3) (and i actually mean it by very soon) (porbably tomorrow / technically today) 

[da-rulah]

The Mayor's Daughter - Mary Goore x f!Reader [Part 2]

Summary: Mary has something of yours from your last encounter. You have something of his. In a standoff, Mary suggests you meet to make the trade off, so you can pay your ransom.

Little does he know, you have a secret weapon up your sleeve... or rather, his sleeve...

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: Teasing, lingerie, nipple play, choking, biting, cunnilingus, oral sex (f receiving), being gagged, squirting, manhandling, contraception mentioned but raw p in v sex still, angst, hurt 

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AO3

A/N: SO listen, this was supposed to be a silly little series of smut one shots with Mary that was low priority and something to do between other fics. Then... I started plotting. And now, the plot is plotted. So here you go, heathens - more Mary filth, except now we got storyline... Huge thank you to @her-satanic-wiles & @angellayercake again for beta reading!

Oh, and I now have a ko-fi if you fancy leaving me a little tip, but no pressure. Love ya!

You stared at your phone, the unread notification on your screen lighting up with each time you hit the side button. You hadn’t opened the message, only able to see the preview but it was enough.   

After two weeks of radio silence from Mary Goore, he’d finally text you late this afternoon.  

R u willing 2 pay ur ransom yet doll?  

You’d maybe stared at it for a few minutes, thinking of ways you might be able to sneak Mary in, or you could sneak out yourself. You knew your parents were home this evening; they’d invited your father’s deputy and his wife for dinner. You were not invited.   

“Just business, darling,” your father had told you. “Not for children.”  

That had pissed you off beyond belief. You weren’t a fucking child anymore; hadn’t been for a long time. But that’s daddy for you... Treating you like the same pigtailed little girl in the photo frame on your dresser, sat on her father’s shoulders at a Fourth of July parade. She looked happy, innocent.   

But that was well over a decade ago.   

And so, still simmering with a hint of anger and a flame stoked in your rebellious little soul, you decided you were indeed ready to pay your ransom.  

You were ready for round two with Mary fucking Goore.  

I have what you need. 8:30pm. I’ll leave my window open. Be quiet, daddy’s downstairs. No funny business, Goore. I’ll have my secret weapon ready if you try anything stupid.  

A few minutes went by, when the ‘sent’ turned to ‘read 5:43pm’, and the three little dots popped up on his side.  

Wouldn’t dream of it. C u l8r doll.   

You smirked at your screen, a thrill rushing through you at the thought of another night with Mary Goore...  

Mary sat in his old black van across the street from your house, staring at the only light that was on upstairs. He’d been here early, around 8pm, and seen a couple pull up in a fancy car through the ornate gates that shut your house off from the rest of the street. Your father had greeted them with a firm handshake and a cheek kiss at the porch. Some kind of work thing, he assumed, scoffing at the nature of the situation he found himself in.  

Climbing through your window in the darkness of night to fool around with the Mayor’s daughter while he conducted a formal business meal downstairs. How cliché...  

As he’d watched, he bit at his thumb nail, plotting his route to get to the window. He could climb up the trellis panels along the edge of your garage, shuffle his way along the guttering and climb in that way... First, he’d have to climb over the tall iron railings without impaling himself on the spikes around the back of the house and away from the security cameras along the porch.   

He checked the clock on his dashboard, hissing a quick ‘fuck’ realising he was out of time; it was 8:27pm. It was now or never.   

Mary scrambled his way over the fence of the back yard, carefully dodging the view of cameras and the French doors that he could see your father through, sat at the dining table with his guests. Miraculously, he hadn’t impaled himself on the railings, though he did manage to snag his already ripped jeans, but that was no real loss to him.   

Climbing up the trellis should have been easier than it was, but he hadn’t accounted for the thorns on the roses that were growing up them. He quickly learned his lesson after blindly grabbing and piercing his palm in multiple places, almost stumbling and falling a few feet off the ground.   

But eventually, Mary made it up on the garage, and shuffled his way along the guttering to your open window. With a less than graceful forward roll and a clatter of trinkets falling to the ground from the desk he’d knocked them from beside the window, Mary was in.   

“Could’a told me I’d be pulling some Top Gun shit to get up here, doll...” he grumbled, dusting himself off and sucking at the puncture wounds on his palm as he turned around to find...  

An empty room.   

“Doll?” he asked, looking around to see if he’d missed you, but you were nowhere to be found. Mary’s shoulders slumped, huffing in annoyance as he found himself in a room that frankly was the exact opposite of his personal taste.   

Patterned wallpaper from decades long since passed coated your walls, covered in pretty pink peonies. Pretty pink and white bedding draped over a large bed in the middle of the room, frills and lace neatly assembled with a well-kept collection of stuffed animals and scatter cushions against the headboard. Sparkly trinkets and polished ornaments sat on most surfaces he could see with the naked eye, clearly collected over the course of your childhood.   

It looked like a kid’s bedroom... A little princess’ dream room. Not the bedroom of a young woman of your age, and certainly not the kind to fuck a guy like him in the stall of the men’s bathroom at a dive bar.   

In your absence, Mary took the time to look closely at some of the trinkets lining your dresser; a necklace rack with pretty little pendants hanging neatly in different metals; a little gold tray filled with pretty stones and crystals you’d collected; a tiny little ornament of a pink kitten; a white half-burned candle that smelled faintly of roses.   

You really were the cliché Mary thought you were, huh? Mary was little more than a touch of excitement and rebellion in an otherwise pristine little life – he could live with that, he supposed. He too had felt a thrill in claiming you as his two weeks ago in that bar, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about doing it again ever since.   

As Mary looked around your room, flicking at the necklaces, inspecting the trinkets, he came across the photo frame of tiny little you. He picked it up, smiling to himself at the goofy grin on the little girl’s face, the pigtails tied up with pretty red ribbons that matches the dungarees she wore. He shook his head with a little laugh, noting the Mayor in the photo and how much younger he looked. Office had aged him, that was for sure.   

How he’d come to find himself in this predicament, he had no idea. How ironic that the daughter of the Mayor to the very town that loathed him had become his booty call.   

Well, you would be if he could fucking find you.  

Putting the photo frame back in its place, Mary looked around one more time, noting there were two doors in the room. He figured he’d try his luck – if he were quiet enough, he wouldn’t be caught. Your parents had no reason to be upstairs with guests over, and maybe you were in a second living room or something? This house was definitely big enough to have two.   

Mary crept over to the door closest to him, reaching for the handle. He’d just grasped it in his palm, when he heard a click behind him.   

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” your pretty little voice warned, more stern than he’d heard it before. Mary froze, a smirk playing on his lips.   

“I think you just lost, doll...” he teased, standing up straighter yet still facing the door.   

“Lost what, Goore?” you enquired, leaning up against the doorframe of the bathroom you’d just been in, hiding from him as you applied the final touches to your make up. Mary began to turn towards the sound of your voice, then.  

“Your little game of hide and see-” He stopped in his tracks, the last syllable getting caught in his throat as his eyes fell on you.   

There you were, this pristine little daddy’s girl, leaning up against the doorframe with cherry red lips so ridiculously enticing, scantily clad in pretty red lace. The matching set you’d prepared came with a garter belt, only attached to strips of elastic around your upper thigh. The straps of the bralette contoured the curve of your breasts, similar straps of elastic sitting high on your hips. The lace only covered what it needed to, the straps themselves doing most of the enticing.   

But what really got him, was the leather jacket you wore over the top of it, covered in spikes, badges, patches and chains.  

His leather jacket.  

You smirked at Mary’s silence, watching his eyes drink you in as you showed off more than he’d got to see that night at the bar... This wasn’t rushed, this wasn’t on a whim. This had been planned, specifically to scramble his brain the second he saw you. And if the way he readjusted his jeans and his jaw dragged across the floor was anything to go by, you’d succeeded.  

Mary scraped his jaw back from the floor, collecting himself and settling his gaze on your eyes, feigning a look of deviance and irritation.  

“So, this is your secret weapon, huh?” he asked, gesturing towards your outfit – or lack thereof. “I told you I wanted that back,” he said, his voice deep and vaguely threatening.   

“I propose a trade. Do you have them?” you asked, holding your open hand out towards him.   

Mary patted at his chest as if looking for something, hands travelling down to his front pockets of his jeans, then to his back, where he let out an “ah-ha!” and pulled the familiar white lace of your panties from your last encounter from one of the pockets. “You’ll see they’re completely unharmed...” he dangled them out towards you.   

“Put them on the bed and step away...” you warned, keeping up the facade of a ransom exchange just a little longer. Mary did as you asked, slowly stepping towards the end of your bed and gently laying your panties on the edge, before holding his hands up in surrender and stepping back a few paces.   

You walked to the bed, picking them up and inspecting them for any damage at all. Mary watched you from afar, amused and shoving his hands into his pockets. With a satisfied hum, you balled the panties up and threw them back down onto the end of your bed, turning on your heels to look at him.   

“See, doll? Completely unharmed. Now... your turn,” he smirked, his eyes drifting back over your body, enjoying every inch of skin he could see beneath his jacket.   

“Can’t I keep it just a little longer...? It suits me, don’t you think?” you asked innocently, twirling around for him to catch a good glimpse of your ass peeking from beneath the leather.  

Mary pinched at his chin, unashamedly watching your ass as you modelled his jacket for him. “Hmm,” he hummed, “I suppose... it does have a kind of charm on you, doll.”  

You giggled, the sound momentarily scrambling the frequencies in his brain again before he shook his head and refocussed. You stepped towards him, biting your sultry red lip as you looked him up and down with the same hunger he had shown you.  

“So... do I get to wear it a little longer?”   

“Maybe just a little, doll...” he shrugged, waiting as you slowly approached him.   

“Just a little?” you pouted, coming to stand in front of him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He kept his hands to himself, tucked back into his pockets. “Why just a little longer?”  

“Because, doll... I ain’t gonna be able to stop myself ripping it off ya pretty fuckin’ soon,” he threatened. You grinned, pulling your body to rest against him, breasts pushed into his chest and hips grazing his half-hard length in his tight jeans.  

“Enough talk, Mare... You came here to fuck me, so fuck me,” you told him, hovering your lips close to his.   

But Mary just laughed, throwing his head back. “Oh, doll... Nuh-uh... You think I’m gonna rush this?” he asked, stepping either side of your feet and pushing you a step backwards simply with the force of his chest against yours. “Last time, we were in danger of gettin’ caught. Had to be quick, hm?” He took another step, forcing you back again. “But I reckon we got some time while daddy shmoozes his guests downstairs... I ain’t rushin’ this time, doll...”   

He backs you up until you can feel the frills of your bedding on the bare backs of your knees, tickling the exposed skin but he stops you there, not yet pushing you down onto the mattress. Instead, he lifts one of his hands from his pocket, pressing his thumb to your bottom lip and lightly pulling it down.  

“You wear this shade just for me, baby?” he asked, arching an eyebrow. From this close, you could see the details in his make up, the dark circles he painted on with pale skin, the fake blood dripping from his hairline. The fringe of his spiked hair tickled your nose where it came to a point, and you shivered from the tickle and his light grasp on your lip.   

“Uh-huh,” you confirmed, Mary smirking in triumph.  

“I like it... Wonder how it’d look on me,” he teased. “Let’s find out...”  

In less than a heartbeat he dropped your lip, his hand reaching for the lapel of his jacket draped over your body and pulling you to him, pressing his lips to yours. You whimpered at the contact, your mind blanking with the sensation of being able to finally kiss him again after a painful two weeks.   

Mary stayed true to his word, taking his time to mould his lips with yours, tilting his head in order to make you more pliant in his grasp. He tasted as he did the last time you met, with the exception of the beer you had pounded together that evening; the lingering taste of cigarette smoke and a vague sweetness from whatever he used as fake blood to drip down his face.   

Your fingers wound their way into the shorter hair at the back of his head, tugging at the roots while your arms tightened around his neck. Mary’s grip on his jacket fell to your hips, pulling at the elastic of the garter belt around your waist. He could feel your bare skin beneath it, driving him utterly insane with want. But no, he said he wouldn’t rush this. He wouldn’t. He wanted to savour every touch, every taste, every noise he could from you.   

But he also couldn’t bring himself to deny you when you ran your tongue along his bottom lip, a clear indication you needed to taste more of him, directly from the source. And so, he allowed you to invade, tongue meeting in a slow and deliberate show of sensuality.   

Somehow, despite being so much slower in his movements this time around, it felt all the more filthy than your encounter in the bathroom stall. Your little mewls of pleasure and his dark little chuckles and groans added something to the moment, a familiar sense of desperation for each other.  

Eventually, Mary pushed you to sit at the edge of your bed, tapping the steel toecap of his boots at your inner ankles to spread your knees for him to stand in the space you created. You did so without a fight, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes and curving your back to give him a nice view of your ass over your shoulder. He pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger, smirking down at you with a smudge of red across his lips.  

“Well...? How does your lipstick look on me, doll?” he asked, pouting for added effect.   

“Suits you...” you giggled, “but I’m wondering...” You reached for his belt, unbuckling the leather from the oversized skull buckle, “how it’d look smothered along your cock...”   

“Fuck, you’re filthy, doll...” he praised, but he gripped your wrists and paused your movements. “But as my memory serves me, you’ve taken my cock in that pretty mouth before, hm? And as fucking good as that was, I wanna try something new tonight. That alright with you?” he asked, a genuine tenderness in his eyes that let you know it was alright to tell him no, that you could back out any second if you wanted.   

But the sparkle that said Mary had a plan was still very much prevalent, and you let your curiosity get the better of you. You wanted whatever he planned. You wanted anything Mary was willing to give.  

“Whatever you want, Mare,” you smirked, fluttering your eyelashes up at him as you loosened your grip on his belt.   

Mary whistled with a smirk and a shake of his head, “Careful sweetheart... That’s a real dangerous door to open.”  

Before you could think of a witty response, his hand wrapped itself around your exposed neck, the cool feel of his silver rings contrasting with the heat of arousal that emanated from your skin. With his thumb, he titled your chin up a little more, before he dipped his head to attach his teeth to the space under your ear, nibbling, suckling, licking over the skin as he travelled down your neck, holding you in place while he bent over you.  

Because he was stood between your thighs, you couldn’t help but widen them to accommodate him, his body slotting itself in and crowded your senses. You could smell a cologne on him – not one he’d worn last time... was he try to impress you? - that was musky and woody, only complimented by the faint smell of cigarette smoke.   

Mary made his way down your neck, holding you tightly as he moved to your chest, paying close attention to the sounds of your laboured breaths and little whimpers as he got closer to the curve of your breasts. To aid his descent, Mary got down onto one knee, his free hand gripping your thigh for stability just as tightly as he held your neck. To your disappointment, he moved back just as he was getting close to the red elastic that sat above the cup of your bra, still holding you in place.  

“Look at me, doll...” he commanded, and you did so without question – a little difficult, with the way he was holding your chin higher than it naturally sat. But he held eye contact with you, even as he moved in to lick a wide stripe between your breasts from your sternum, right up to where his hand grasped your neck. Your hips bucked just a little in arousal, but he noticed. Mary didn’t miss a trick.   

“Fuckin’ needy little thing, you are. What, you want me to touch you?” His hand on your neck slid up to cup your jaw, two of his fingertips forcing their way past your lips and holding you tight. “Want my tongue? My fingers? My cock?”   

You couldn’t answer if you tried, his hand locked in place, keeping you silent save for the pleading whine you let out. Mary laughed, reattaching his lips to your chest and trailing open mouthed kisses down to the curve of your breast, finally mouthing at flesh instead of skin and bone. He bit down on you, digging his nails into your thigh as he did to spread the light pain further across your body. You couldn’t help the gasp you let out, hips rolling on the bed in search of something more.   

“Undo this bra for me, doll. My hands are busy,” he told you. You did as you were told, reaching behind you and unclasping the hooks, letting it fall loose on your shoulders underneath Mary’s jacket. With the tension removed from the elastic, he could move the flimsy cups out of the way, nudging them with that delectable nose of his to finally reach the nipples that had hardened for him long ago.   

His tongue laved over the bud, heavy breaths flooding from his nose while his mouth was preoccupied with your tits. By the noise he was making, Mary seemed to be enjoying himself, fingertips digging into your thigh against, his rings imprinting on your flesh.   

With Mary distracted, you shimmied out of his jacket, wanting to take the bra off completely. When you’d thrown the thin little thing to the side, Mary’s eyes looked up at you with a darkness, a hint of distaste in them.   

“Put that fucking jacket back on,” he growled against your breast. “Ain’t nothin’ prettier than tits and leather.” You giggled around the fingers in your mouth and reached for the jacket that lay around you, shuffling until you had it back on. “Good girl,” he mumbled against your breast again, suckling at your nipple while he slid the hand from your mouth down to cup the other breast, pinching in time with his teeth nipping at the other.   

Your hands found his hair again, messing with the way he’d styled it and scratching at his scalp as you pulled his head closer to you. You rolled your hips again where you sat, trying desperately to grind against his chest but you simply couldn’t reach from here, and you whimpered at the lack of contact to where you really needed him.  

With a popping sound, Mary pulled back from your breast and levelled his face with yours, demanding eye contact.  

“Needy little girl wants me to touch her cunt, huh?” he asked, no hint of shame or shyness to him at all. It made your core burn for him.   

“Please, Mare...” you whined.   

“Said I was gonna take my time, doll. You gettin’ impatient?” He arched an eyebrow, testing you. You were in no mood to hide your lust.  

“Mhm...”  

“You want my cock that badly?” he asked, a cocky smile playing on his lips. You nodded, giving him your best pathetically needy puppy-dog eyes. He just laughed.   

“Tough shit, doll. I’m sure you’re used to gettin’ what you want, but I wanna enjoy this. And frankly, baby, I’m thirsty. I’ve been here all this time, and you haven’t even offered your guest a drink?” he accused, acting insulted. “Just rude, that. Guess I’ll have to get my own...”  

A swell of panic rose in your chest, your eyes widening as your eyes darted towards the door to the hallway. He couldn’t... Your father would go nuts, throw Mary out by the collar of his band shirt and ground you for the rest of eternity – even if you were a fucking adult.  

Mary followed your gaze and laughed. “Not from there, doll. I got what I need right here.”  

Without warning, Mary pulled the feeble lace of your panties to one side, exposing your dripping centre to him and launching himself between your thighs. His lips encircled your clit and with a loud slurp, and he took enough of your arousal onto his tongue to coat the appendage completely. You couldn’t help the loud gasp that forced its way up your throat, Mary’s hand slapping over your open mouth to cut it off.   

Now silenced, you allowed the moans to spill freely against his palm as he dove into your core, lapping at your clit, your lips and your entrance like he already knew what you liked, where you needed him. True to his word, Mary drank from you every drop of arousal you produced as if he hadn’t hydrated in days. His make up smeared all over you, a mixture of fake blood and whatever black and white paints he’d used for his dull skull make up. You could see the pink tinge of your lipstick still around his lips, getting messier by the second.   

As he focussed on your clit, you howled against his palm, prompting him to remove himself from your core and shush you just inches from your face, warning you with darkened eyes to keep quiet, or he’d stop everything. You may have a big house, but Mary was still very aware of the dinner going on downstairs; he was not about to get thrown out of your house with a raging boner and smeared pussy juice all over his fucking face.   

“Seems I can’t keep you quiet, doll... How do I shut you up, hm?” he asked, pressing his hand harder against your lips as he looked around your room for something to aid him. His eyes landed on the white lace beside you, draped over the corner of your bed, and his eyes glimmered with mischief.   

With his free hand, he grabbed at your used panties, balling them up and stuffing them into your mouth until he was sure he’d plugged up the source of the noise.  

“There. Now do me a favour, pretty girl...” he leaned in to whisper in your ear, the faint scent of your juices hitting your nose from the mess over his mouth and chin, “ shut the fuck up...”   

You moaned into the lace in your mouth, muffled well enough that only Mary would be able to hear. The way he spoke to you, took command and degraded you made you so damn weak for him; because you had a weird feeling you were safe with Mary.   

Absolutely, he was a son of a bitch, a fucking asshole, a total whore and the filthiest guy you had yet to meet but there was always an air of safety with him, of comfort and a mutual respect you didn’t seem to get with any of the assholes you’d fooled around with in the past. Mary wasn’t exactly your usual type – unwillingly a cliché, you only seemed to fool around with jocks or preppy guys – but that was because you had always, always lived up to daddy’s expectations. You fooled around with the guys your father would approve of, in the hope that someday he may approve of you in the same way.   

Mary was the opposite of that and truthfully, the first guy you’d slept with that made you feel anything other than a dull buzz. For starters, he knew where the clit was and what to fucking do with it – but there was an electricity there, the spark of a passion you’d not yet felt with anyone else. Mary knew what buttons to press, how far he could go; he was running off pure instinct, listening to you, feeling you, understanding you.   

He dove back between your legs, the jolt of pleasure as his tongue swept over your clit forcing your legs to clamp down around his head. His hands gripped onto your thighs, nails digging into the flesh as if encouraging you, taunting you to try and squeeze until you crushed him. Your moans were caught by the lace in your mouth, muffled but still as desperate as they had always been under Mary’s spell.  

You had always thought there was no way a man could make you cum with just his tongue, but you thought the same thing of men in general, having been left unsatisfied without your own intervention during every sexual encounter with a man previously. But Mary had already proved you wrong when he’d made you squirt on his cock – you hadn’t even realised you could do that.  

He was determined to make you do the same again, still feeling particularly thirsty for you. He persevered, swiping his tongue over your most sensitive of nerves, winding the coil in your abdomen tighter and tighter... The only warning you gave him was your hands gripping the roots of his hair, your hips shoving themselves against his face right before you squealed against the lace, biting down and once again, squirting as you came from Mary’s ministrations.   

Mary growled with hunger as he caught as much as he could, drinking every drop he could reach, rutting against the tightness in his jeans for some kind of friction for himself, now too turned on to hold back. He didn’t stop for air, never pulled away from you until you were physically pushing at his head, overstimulated and in need of a reprieve.   

Mary fell back, his hands catching himself on your carpet as he gasped for air, your cum dripping from his chin mixed with fake blood, white paints and your smeared lipsticks. You fell back against the mattress, pressing your fingertips into your eyes in a hope it might ground you as you came down. You made no move to remove the lace from your mouth; it served to still silence the whimpers of aftershocks that rippled through you, your limbs convulsing every few seconds after brief pauses of stillness.  

You missed the smugness on Mary’s face as he licked what he could reach from around his mouth, smearing the rest on the back of his palm. Slowly, he crawled back to his knees, slinking his way over your chest and hovering above you like a serpent ready to wrap himself around you and squeeze your life essence from your body. His eyes looked predatory, and your heart rate that had begun to stabilise shot through the roof again.   

Mary wasn’t finished.  

“Think that’s my thirst quenched, doll...” he smirked, running his thumb along your stained bottom lip, noting how the red had transferred to the white lace gag. “Fuckin’ love that you can do that for me.”  

You did your best to smile around the intrusion in your mouth, your eyes doing most of the emoting.  

“But y’know what?” he teased, pressing kisses under your ear lobe as his hands travelled down to your breasts again, lightly tracing around your nipple and back up to your throat. “I’m fuckin’ hungry, now.”  

With a strength you didn’t know he possessed judging by his scrawny little frame, he gripped the edges of his open leather jacket in one fist, lifted it with enough force that he could throw you backwards, back hitting the piles of stuffed animals and pillows. You yelped, again muffled by the cotton lace.  

Mary just laughed. He stood up at the end of the bed, reaching to the back collar of his cut-off band tee and dragging it over his head until it fell to the ground.   

“You want my cock, didn’t you doll?” he asked, keeping his voice relatively low so as not to raise suspicion from downstairs. You may have been gagged, but he wasn’t. He had to still be careful. But you nodded at him frantically, squeezing your thighs together in anticipation.   

His hands worked the button and fly of his skinny jeans, shoving the tight material down his thighs until he could stand on them to pull one leg out, then the other. He whipped his briefs off pretty quickly too, freeing himself completely. You watched in delight as he fisted his length a couple of times – this was the first time you’d seen him bared to you like this, and frankly, you couldn’t seem to get enough...   

His subtle definition over his skinny form had you drooling, eyes following the trail of hair from his stomach to his well-kept pubic hair. You whimpered at the sight of his cock, completely free from confinement, and his thighs that tensed as his fist squeezed at the head of his cock.   

Without another word, Mary knelt on the bed, pulling your ankles apart to give him space to shuffle between them. He wanted unrestricted access to your core, and so began pulling the garter belt from your waist along with the garters themselves, so he would finally make progress and get to the waistband of your panties underneath.   

This pretty red shade was gonna haunt him at night, he just knew it. He couldn’t get away with keeping it this time; his memory would have to do.  

Now fully undressed, Mary had you right where he wanted you – naked and beneath him, with only his leather jacket on. You were the sexiest god damned thing he’d ever fucking seen.  

He hovered above you, trailing his fingertips from your neck, down over your breasts and to your thigh, where he hooked his hand under your knee and hiked it up to his hip. He lowered himself, his bare cock sliding against the mess between your legs. His eyes locked with yours, and for a moment he seemed to falter, as if looking for some kind of anomaly in your irises. Suddenly, Mary was pulling the panties from your mouth and instead, pushing his lips to yours for another engulfing kiss.  

You held his head in place, raising from the pillows to meet him and move so effortlessly with him. You could taste yourself faintly on his lips, and eagerly you swiped your tongue over his for more of it.   

Mary pressed his forehead to yours as he let the kiss fade out, squeezing his eyes shut and bracing himself as he lined the head of his cock up with your dripping centre. He hadn’t prepped you at all, and so he knew that first push he had to go slowly, he had to be careful – but he also knew you’d be tighter than last time, his fingers not yet working you open.   

“Tell me you want me, baby...” he whispered to you, nuzzling his nose against yours, lost in bliss.  

“I want you, Mare...” You didn’t even hesitate, whispering back. “Please...”   

Mary kissed you again, using your lips to try and distract him from the squeeze of his cock pushing into you, slowly filling you so deliciously, so completely... With the strain of keeping his composure, his lips pressed harder against yours. Your fingernails dug into his head as you held him in place, whimpering into your kiss.   

When he’d completely filled you, his hips flush against yours, he stilled for a moment and parted his lips from yours.  

“You good, doll?” he asked, searching your face for any signs of discomfort. He found none, but he needed confirmation. This felt different to last time, more intimate than the bathroom encounter. Maybe it was because he was surrounded by your childhood bedroom and very aware of how vulnerable that made you to him. Maybe it was because he was able to actually see you this time. Maybe it was because he was pressed up against you, held by you in such a way that he hadn’t had in quite some time, his usual encounters with women fleeting and rushed.  

But like Mary had said in the beginning; tonight, he wasn’t rushing.   

“I’m good, Mare. Please, move,” you begged, rolling your hips beneath him for the slightest friction.  

He obliged without hesitation now he had the green light, slowly rolling his hips to drag his length back through your sopping heat until he could push himself back in with a more deliberate and angled thrust. You gasped beneath him, his hand once again coming to slap over your lips to silence you.  

“Careful, baby. Don’t make me gag you again, hm?” You nodded from underneath his palm as he found his pace, filling you over and over and deliciously hitting that same pressure point he’d found last time. “Good girl... You know I love the pretty noises you make for me, but they’re just for me, you hear?” he warned. You nodded again, slamming your head back down into the pillows beneath you, your hands running down to his shoulders to hold onto him.   

His hand drifted from your mouth, instead finding purchase on your hip bone to hold you down against the mattress while he drove his cock deep inside you over and over again. Although a struggle, you managed to contain your moans for the time being, biting down on your bottom lip and squeezing his shoulders.   

Mary, too, was struggling to keep quiet. He wanted nothing more than to roar in his bliss, to grunt and growl and lose his fucking mind between your legs but he held back, gritting his teeth around the noises he let escape. You saw his struggle, and figured now was as good a time as any to mess with him...  

“You feel so good, Mare...” you whispered breathlessly. His brow visibly creased, his eyes boring into yours. “Filling me so perfectly. C-can feel you... in my fucking... stomach,” your sentence broke apart as his thrusts got harder and harder with each of your words, spurred on by your filth.  

“ Fuck , baby girl... You tryna make me lose it, huh?” You just giggled beneath him, riling him up further.   

“C’mon Mare, fuck me... Gag me if you gotta, but fuck, just lose it. Fuck me, Goore...” You begged.   

Mary buried himself in your neck and growled against it, biting at the flesh and ramming his hips into you harder and harder. Your own whimpers slipped from within, and again, Mary had to cover your mouth with his hand to stop them getting any louder, drawing attention to you both.   

Between his hand on your mouth and jaw and the other pinning your hips to the bed, you were stuck beneath him, unable to writhe and move much at all below the unforgiving Mary, who – like you had told him to – had lost it. The sight of him was maddening, intoxicating. It had you clenching your walls around him, earning muffled groans and huffs from above you.   

“Fuckin’ love the way this pussy grips me, baby. Like you never wanna let me go...” he chuckled, gritting his teeth.   

You were so close, that familiar tingle growing desperately by the second, heat pooling and spreading from your core through every limb, like magma spilling from a crater and coating everything in its path.   

“M-Mary...” you whispered, nails digging into his back and dragging across the pale skin, leaving red scrapes in their path. He fucking loved that shit.  

“What is it, baby? You gonna cum again for me? I get two outta you, this time?” he teased. “Go ahead, cream on my cock. I got you,” he promised; and you believed him.   

Even with the grip on your body he had, Mary couldn’t stop you from curling in on yourself, that coil inside you seeming to wind you up like a clockwork toy until you eventually broke, pulling Mary against your chest and ripping his hand from your lips so you could kiss him, releasing all of your energy into a scream that was swallowed by his lips and tongue.   

Mary’s hips never faltered, but he felt the way your pussy gripped him, the drag of each thrust so much harder between that and your hands pulling his body taught against your own. His resolve crumbled quickly, hips frantically smacking into yours until he could feel himself on the edge.   

Mary hadn’t cum inside last time, and in the absence of a condom, he wasn’t sure you’d allow him. He’d understand, but with your lips trapping his from asking permission, he was beginning to panic, his end rushing towards him like a freight train.   

He held off, somehow managing to keep himself from climaxing until your climax had dulled enough for him to pry you from his lips, smacking his forehead to yours as he grunted and took a breath.  

“Doll, g-gonna cum... W-where?” he could barely ask a full sentence in the state he was in, but you understood despite the haze of a ridiculously powerful second orgasm.   

“On... the pill...” you’d said between breathless gasps, still reeling from more aftershocks and surrounded by the suffocating heat of both your bodies entwined in each other. “Inside, Mare. Fill me,” you told him.  

That was the spark to a puddle of gasoline... it ignited him instantly, barrelling headfirst into an orgasm he felt in every single nerve in his body.   

You held him, arms wrapped tight around his shoulders as his forehead bruisingly pressed into yours, his jaw dropping as a loud moan began to rip from his chest. This time, it was you stuffing your white panties into his mouth, just in time to stop the noise reverberating on the walls and causing one hell of a scene for your parents to rush in on.   

He didn’t still his hips, rather slowed them to savour the feeling of his spend filling you up, warming both your insides and his shaft. His cock was so damn sensitive now, every slow drag through his mess inside you having him jolt against you in overstimulation until finally, he’d calmed himself enough to be able to pull out and collapse into your chest, his leather jacket sticking to the both of you.   

For a while, you lay like that; catching your breath and laying in the afterglow of a damn good fuck. It wasn’t until Mary rolled onto his side next to you and spat your panties out that you felt the relief of a cool breeze caused by his movement.  

“I got no idea where you got that mouth of yours, darlin’, but it’s gonna get me in a lot of trouble...” he chuckled, running his fingers through his sweat-damp hair, pushing it from his forehead.   

“Oh, my mouth? Seems to me, you’re the talker of the two of us, Goore,” you prodded an accusatory finger into his peck. Mary made a “meh” noise, falling into his back and rubbing his hands over his face, only to look at them and notice the mess of colours that transferred to his palms.   

“Shit, was that a bathroom you popped out from earlier? I uh... could do with a hose down.” You laughed at him, nodding as you sat up.   

“Me first, though. Heard a girl should always pee after sex,” you shrugged. “Helps... something? Whatever.” You stood, clenching your thighs together when you felt the mess that threatened to drip from you. Ah, that’s why.  

Mary just chuckled at the way you waddled into your little en suite and waited patiently for his turn to spruce himself up in your shower, teasing you when he’d seen you emerge in a towel with your hair thrown up and out of the way.   

Truthfully, he’d hoped maybe you’d have joined him – but perhaps you felt like that was a little too intimate. He had to remember his place, after all. Just a booty call, and booty calls don’t wash each other’s bodies and shampoo each other’s hair.   

Now clean, Mary emerged in a towel with his hair still dripping. You hadn’t seen him without his signature face paint since he’d dropped out of school at 15, and he seemed somewhat vulnerable without it; like he’d stripped himself of a protective layer between him and the rest of the world.   

Nevertheless, Mary dressed himself again and sat down at the edge of your bed, where you’d sat waiting for him in a fresh pair of sweatpants and a cami top – topped off, of course, by his leather jacket. Mary laughed at the sight.  

“Am I not gonna get that back, doll?” he asked, nodding at the jacket as he buckled his belt back up.  

“Not yet... Gonna need it, it’s cold out tonight,” you shrugged.  

“Oh? We goin’ somewhere?” he asked, arching an eyebrow as he dug into his back pocket for his pack of cigarettes, pulling one from the box and shoving it between his teeth.  

You stood and took a step towards him, plucking the cigarette from his teeth and instead pushing it between your lips. “Can’t smoke inside, daddy will smell it.”  

Mary’s lips curled into a wicked smile. You really were the hottest little minx he’d had the pleasure of fucking.   

You strode over to the open window Mary had climbed in through, climbing out onto the roof and heading for the edge of the apex, climbing down it to the flat platform of the garage roof, safely tucked to the side of the house. Up there sat a little flowerpot filled with sand that you’d put there over two years ago – a makeshift ashtray for your little sneaky smokes.   

Mary followed you, both of you taking a seat to the back of the garage roof, overlooking the street shrouded in dim streetlights.  

“Little more rebellious than I thought, huh?” he joked, tapping the flowerpot with his foot. He reached over and took the cigarette from your lips, plucking another fresh one from his pack and pushing them both between his teeth. With a zippo lighter engraved with a bat, he lit them both and passed one to you.   

“Thanks,” you smiled, taking your first lungful of nicotine. You sighed, content and relaxed.  

“Ain’t nothin’ like a cigarette after an orgasm, is there?” Mary chuckled, the cigarette bobbing between his lips as he spoke around it.   

“Nope,” you said, popping the ‘p’ for dramatic effect.   

As you took another drag, you caught sight from the corner of your eye your parents shaking the hands and kissing the cheeks of his deputy mayor and wife. Their meal must be over, the goodbye pleasantries exchanged as your parents wave off the car pulling out of your driveway. You watch quietly as they turn and head back to the porch beneath you, out of sight from where you sat.   

But Mary isn’t watching them. He’s watching you , with a creased brow and a million questions swarming around his mind. It’s not until you turn to look back at him that you notice, and you feel like you’ve somehow been caught doing something you shouldn’t.  

“Alright, I gotta ask ‘cause this is killin’ me,” he said, taking another drag of his cigarette and mulling over how to word this without causing any kind of offense – something Mary usually got wrong. “What is it about me that you seem so attracted to?”  

His question caught you off guard, your brow creasing in confusion. “What do you mean?”  

“Well... I assume that in order to sleep with me – twice – you'd have to be somewhat attracted to me, right?” he shrugged. You nodded, urging him to continue, as if you still didn’t understand his question. “So, I guess what I’m asking is... what does a girl like you see in a guy like me?”  

Your expression darkened, an anger and defensiveness bubbling away inside you. This was exactly the kind of shit you expected; Mary had stereotyped you, just like the rest of them. You thought he might be different, that as an outcast himself who was stereotyped by the entire fucking town he might have given you the same leeway you had him. But no, here he was, putting you back in your neat little box.  

“What do you mean... a girl like me?”  

Mary noticed the change in your demeanour, but he was just being honest. He didn’t want to upset you, why would he? But he was overcurious, and perhaps, just a little too honest.  

“Oh, come on, doll... First night I met you, you were wearing that pretty little sundress and out with your ‘girlfriends’. Then tonight, I climb in through your window like some shitty high school movie and find your bedroom is covered in lace and frills and pink. You’ve got the trinkets and the pretty little ornaments... and your bed is covered in stuffed animals, like you’ve had that collection since you were a kid. You and I ain’t the same, we’re so polar opposite so logically, it doesn’t make sense,” he rambled. All the while, your blood boiled hotter and hotter, anger turning to rage.  

“I mean, you’re daddy’s little girl, so sweet and pretty and the town loves you. You’re too damn good for a ‘shit for brains’, ‘punk-ass kid’ like me.” Those had been direct quotes from a couple of cops who’d gotten to know Mary’s face over the years.   

“I am not ‘ daddy’s little girl’,” you seethed, “And you don’t know a fucking thing about me, Goore. You’re just like all of them, treating me like some fucking kid who can’t think for herself.”  

“I never said that, I just don’t understand why-” he started, but you cut him off.  

“No that’s just it, you don’t understand. That’s all people see of me, being his daughter...” you stood, shoving the cigarette between your teeth and walking to the edge of the roof, sitting there and dangling your feet over the edge. Mary stayed put for a second, bewildered and letting you cool off for a moment. Clearly, he’d struck a nerve. Guilt wracks through him, and he awkwardly rubs the back of his head, his hair still damp but now chilled in the night air.   

With a sigh, he holds his cigarette between his teeth and gets up, coming to sit down beside you without a word. He notes your scowl, and the way you avert your eyes from him.   

“So, go on... what’s the deal with your dad, then?” he asked, looking out ahead of him as he took another drag. He watches you fold your arms over your chest, the leather of his jacket squeaking as it rubs over itself.   

“Treats me like a kid, like I’m not a grown-ass woman with her own brain,” you sighed, looking down at your feet swinging over the edge of the garage. “I gotta be this perfect girl all the time, because that’s the image he created for me; the all-American, perfect family. It’s just part of his fucking political career. I don’t get a say, I never have.”  

Mary’s nose wrinkles as he thinks to himself, not quite understanding. Surely you were old enough to have your own mind, or at the very least, to redecorate.  

“Well, if you think that’s not you, why do you go along with it? You play the part very well...” he says, watching you from beside you.   

Your head snaps to look at him, a fresh anger brewing again, like someone had turned the heat right up on the stove.   

“You think so? Gee, thanks, Goore,” you mocked him in your best girl-ish, high-pitched bimbo voice.  

“I just meant-”   

“You don’t get it. Whatever. Why would you? I never asked you to give a fuck about my shit anyway.”  

Now Mary was getting pissed off, his mind working its way into overdrive as he looked at you and your little temper tantrum, thought about your life of privilege – something he’d never had. You had money, a big house, nice clothes, fucking bodyguards at the drop of a hat. And he’d had an alcoholic mother, a deadbeat father and a lifetime of people hating him for his love of metal and macabre. Your lives were total fucking parallels, and he couldn’t understand why you got so angry at your life when you had it all.  

So, he scoffed at you. “’Your shit’, huh? Sure, your struggle sound real tough, Barbie.”  

“Barbie?!” you shrieked, uncaring if someone had heard. “I’m fucking Barbie, now?”  

“Just seems to me like you don’t know privilege when you see it, doll. Even when it’s right under your nose.” He could hear it in his voice; he was being an asshole, he had no idea what your life was truly like, but he was so defensive of his own upbringing, his own issues that he wasn’t willing to see that you had any. To him, your life was perfect, and you were just being a brat.  

“Fuck you, Goore,” you spat through gritted teeth. Mary smacked his lips, nodding in anger.   

“Yep,” he said, shoving his cigarette between his teeth again, now burnt over halfway down. “Y’know what? I’m gonna go. This was fun, Barbie, but this Ken’s gotta split.” He slapped his hands against his thighs before swinging his legs up to the rooftop and standing, dusting himself off.   

“Yeah, maybe you should. Don’t think we’re exactly compatible...” you scowled, pulling your knees up to your chest as you smoked, refusing to look at him.   

He waits a moment, chewing over whether he should say anything else, try and fix this animosity and maybe even apologise. But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words... Not when he didn’t see what he’d done wrong. Instead, he crouched down beside you, holding his hand out. You turned to stare at it for a moment, wondering what on earth he wanted you to do. Did he expect you to hold it? To say sorry? To go with him?  

No, none of those.  

“My jacket, Barbie,” he deadpanned, curling his fingers in a ‘gimme’ motion.   

You didn’t speak, instead holding your cigarette between your teeth and pulling the leather from your body. The chill hit your skin immediately, but your stubbornness refused to let it show. Instead, you slammed the jacket back in his hand, and turned away from him.   

“There, we both got our shit back. Now you’ve got no reason to come back,” you told him.   

Mary shook his head, smacking his lips one more time before he headed over to the trellis he’d climbed up, and made his way back down, avoiding the windows and making sure he wouldn’t be caught when he climbed back over the fence.   

Just as he got to his van, he turned back around to see you climbing back through your window, shoving the frame closed and storming off into your room where he couldn’t see you. Mary shook his head with an eye roll, yanking his van door open and throwing his jacket into the passenger side before he climbed in and settled into his seat. He was about to turn the key in the ignition, to get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible, but he stopped himself.  

Instead, he slammed his palm against the steering wheel, cursing himself out.  

“Fucking idiot, man...” he chastised, throwing his head back against the battered headrest of his seat. He sat there for a while, replaying your conversation in his head. He thought of every single way that could have gone differently, how he could have handled that better rather than resorting to his usual defensive self.   

After about ten minutes of self-reflection – and frankly, self-loathing – he turned to look back at the bedroom window he’d climbed through that night, just in time to see your light switch off.  

What he didn’t know, was that you were still watching him from the darkness of your bedroom... or, at least, his van; parked where it had been all evening. He hadn’t even made a move to turn on his engine, sitting in the street in silence.   

But now, seeing your light switch off, Mary sighed to himself and found his keys to switch on the ignition. His engine roared to life, as did his stereo that was tuned to some kind of heavy metal. His headlights switched on, and you watched from your window as his van drove off into the night. Tears streaked down your face, and you became overwhelmed by that suffocating feeling of your only morsel of freedom running away from you, after you’d managed to push him away.   

You’d never felt more trapped in your all-American dream-life than you did now.  

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8

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[snookienthusi4st]

Near nsfw hc’s when 🤑 maybe the alphabet 🤤

gotchu anon, ty for the req!!

sorry i’ve been busy w work, brat tamer saiki req i see you and i will get to you someday i promise

near nsfw alphabet

warnings: smut, language, gn reader

nsfw under the cut

a(aftercare)

aftercare isn’t foreign to him! he’ll happily take care of you afterwards, and it might give him a bit of an ego boost seeing how relaxed you are with him around

b(body part)

i feel like his favorite on himself would be his hair, just cause he twirls and plays with it a lot. if you gently pulled his hair during sex, he’d cum no questions asked

his favorite on you would be your hands or your neck, he likes kissing you there

c(cum)

not super messy with his cum and usually prefers inside you or in your mouth, doesn’t seem like he’d like unnecessary messes :b

but he’s fine with adapting depending on what makes you feel comfortable

d(dirty secret)

would love being a sub but it’s more of a fleeting thought for him

unless you wanna try it and then he’ll agree and let you take charge

e(experience)

little to no experience, but he catches on fast with how smart he is

if you’re a virgin, he’ll be touched that you trust him enough for something that vulnerable and it’ll make the whole experience more meaningful to him

f(favorite position)

if he’s a dom, having you in his lap with him deep inside you

if he’s a sub, missionary with you on top

g(goofy)

if you ever laugh during sex because something funny happened, he’ll give a small lighthearted scoff and maybe chuckle if it was funny enough

sex is a bonding experience to him so anything that makes the both of you happy is a win for him

h(hair)

he’s incredibly clean looking, and as long as it’s hygienic he does not gaf what you look like down there

i(intimacy)

he’s so sweet bro

like whoever’s in control, he’ll be so physically careful!! and if he’s on top he’ll make sure to tell you how thankful he is that you love and trust him this much

“that’s it, just like that..you’re perfect, i love you so much. keep going, i’ve got you.”

j(jackoff)

he didn’t often until you got together, and now he can’t stop thinking about you when you’re away

k(kinks)

he’d have a praise kink for sure, feeling your hands on him and your voice telling him how good he’s making you feel

plus he’s totally a switch but besides that he’s pretty vanilla

l(location)

he’s not really anywhere else except the spk building but on the case where it’s somewhere else, he’ll probably want to wait until you two are somewhere more private

m(motivation)

so mr. low libido does get sexually frustrated from time to time, in which he’ll be just a bit rougher with you in bed

but besides that, he doesn’t really get like turned on unless it’s obvious you want to do it

n(no)

no heavy bdsm, he’s too scared to actually hurt you

also no exhibitionism, he’d be wary of anyone watching you two go at it

o(oral)

would go with giving over receiving since having you below him instead of equal has never really been his preference

also there’s something so addictive about the feeling of your hands in his hair and gently tugging him where you want him

p(pace)

slow and steady, his ass is winning the race

don’t get me wrong, he’ll go faster if you ask, but he just likes getting to feel you and savoring the feeling because of how little his sex drive is yk

q(quickies)

sees the helpfulness to them, but would probably never do it unless you wanted to

u(unfair)

he normally likes pleasing you quick as he can plus he doesn’t wanna overwhelm you so it’s never intentional, but he does have a slower pace so it might seem a bit unfair

if it’s obvious you want more, he might catch on in the moment and stay the same pace with that little knowing smirk on his face

v(volume)

he’s a whimperer i can just feel it

but he’d be around the average volume, not too loud but you can still hear him fine

w(wild card)

would totally be into using toys on you like vibrators

and since he’d be in charge, he’d talk so cocky

“you’re shaking, y/n. you want me to stop? no? hold still then, let me take care of you.”

“that’s the spot? right there? that’s it, let it out, ‘m right here..”

x(x ray)

a little above average size wise, but he seems like a grower

y(yearning)

he has a low sex drive but he’ll be turned on if he knows you want it

like if you get touchier with him and communicate to him that you want to, that’ll get him hard real fast

z(zzz)

gets to sleep pretty fast, since the man can already nap like a cat, but he tries to wait for you to fall asleep first