#if anything i feel sad bc they never got those apologies from THEIR parents and now it's too late to ever get them

[arctic-hands]

My parents were shit to me as a kid but I'm like one hundred percent sure they never read my diaries, at least because I would have been in a hell of a lot more trouble if they had

Anyway I don't care how stellar your record as a parent is or how you're justifying this invasion, if you read your kid's diary without their consent you're an automatic piece of shit and your child has every right to never trust you again

[daniclaytcn]

the ‘sunshine personified’ / ‘he makes everyone around him happy’ thing is sooo interesting because i don’t think we’ve really seen that from buck, have we? and by that i specifically mean in the fanon context of buck being the social PTA dad at all of chris’s school functions while eddie broods in the corner and only wants to talk to buck. if anything, we’ve seen the opposite behavior with eddie — he’s clearly good friends with chris’s friends’ parents, he was so happy and glowy when he first met the 118, he befriended may and linda so easily at dispatch, and i could go on and on.

he just seems to connect with people so easily, and i think a lot of that genuine friendliness is lost on people because he also has a tendency to get casually snarky with people he isn’t so fond of, whether it’s annoying temporary coworkers or selfish people on calls or opportunistic reporters. the same thing goes for his private nature vs. buck’s bleeding heart — it’s assumed that eddie isn’t a people person because he likes to keep his innermost feelings close to his chest and it’s also assumed that buck is good at instantly forming connections bc his feelings spill out of him at all times.

and like. it’s not that buck isn’t a kind and friendly person, but i do feel like his specialty is deep acts of love for the people he loves. idk if i’m articulating this right but i’m trying to point out that he’s never more ‘sunshine personified’ than when he’s with the 118 and co. he would do anything for them and he lights up around them in a way that he doesn’t really do with anyone else. and we haven’t seen him be so casually close to people outside that friend group.

when we got a glimpse of connor and buck’s friendship, it seemed more about what they could do for each other than about true connection. when we got that episode about buck and red, a lot of it was projection on buck’s part re. his fear of abandonment and his desire not to let his future turn out like red’s and it was also about his need to fix things for everyone else so he can feel like he’s needed. when he met lucy, he was desperate to fill a void and not feel as hollow as he felt going home to taylor kelly every night with his sister and his brother in law and his partner gone.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not trying to ascribe selfish motivations to buck bc i do believe he always tries to do the right thing, but when it comes to people outside of the 118, with the way it’s been written in canon, i feel like those dynamics have always been more about his own issues than they’ve been about actual friendship. and this isn’t even getting into how he acts when he feels like someone new is encroaching on his territory (see: eddie in 2x01 and lena). idk….i just think that kind of casual connection comes so much easier to eddie for whatever reason. maybe it’s because his abandonment issues are a whole other flavor, or because eddie’s upbringing was so different from buck’s. either way, it’s so interesting and ppl blinded by fanon are really missing out. i apologize for the long ass rambling and i don’t think i really articulated this well, so TL;DR — fanon sunshine buck and broody eddie do not exist in canon and i’m Very excited to see the way that mr. possessive, jealous, broody evan buckley acts when eddie meets someone new this week :)

no, you're so right about all of this, though! buck genuinely does light up and is at his most comfortable and golden retriever-like around the 118, because he sees them as family and trusts them so much—and i think people get carried away and attribute the same thing to everything else (like, for example, the social PTA dad thing). when in canon, buck on multiple occasions has not dealt with new people too well—whether it was eddie, or lena, or ravi...and now, as it looks like, tommy. and you kinda hit the nail on the head about how most of buck's relationships outside the 118 being very transactional in nature up to this point, it's sad, but it's true.

eddie is the complete opposite in this regard, though, like, the guy goes around collecting new friends like they're pokemon. lol. he is so wildly different to the fandom portrayal of him as this anti-social loner that i struggle with understanding how people even got there in the first place (i mean, i know why. but still).

anyway, buck's issues with jealousy and insecurity are sooo interesting to delve into as character flaws and so much more compelling than fandom's portrayal of him as a perfect angel baby who's never done anything wrong, but 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ at least i have canon giving me the stuff i want lol

[baestruly]

i’m crashing down, crash into me ━━ jj maybank

❝won’t stop until you’re safe.❞ 

( 𝗌𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌 ⋫ 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖎 )  jj maybank x fem!singlemom!reader

⤷ IN WHICH, after your ex rafe━━also the dad of your son, leo after an accidental pregnancy━━threatens you and your friends if you don’t let him see his son, you get too overwhelmed with everything that you break down. but jj is willing to do anything to help and protect you and leo.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - single parent, hurt comfort, fluff, mentions of threats, panic attacks, placed in s2 sometime after he framed john b and tried to drown sarah, they are 18, rafe is 20. you and jj aren’t dating yet but the type of friends that the whole friend group thinks is bullshit because of how stupid you guys are, i’m sorry i love dynamics like that especially in slow burn. 

a/n - i’m sorry to rafe lovers. this was for a fic i had planned, but scrapped so why not make some scenes that i wrote imagines. also send me requests bc currently i have none my heart is breaking. 

Nothing. There’s nothing in the world as you stood in this battered kitchen. Empty, and alone.

Gone. Nothing.

Then you’re pretty sure you hear your heart crack, because it stops, and everything comes crashing down. 

Whimpering as your lip quivers from the flow of tears streaming down your face━━this is the only sign that you know you’re really drowning.

Forgetting about your friends behind you, you have your back to them, hiding yourself in your hands. You have always had people there for you but you feel so alone━━as if you were the only person in the world, and you were the only person who could break yourself. 

“(Y/N)━━” JJ whispers softly. You’ve never heard his voice like that, he didn’t seem like the type. 

“I’m sorry━━I’m so sorry I━━no, I’m━━“

“No. No, (Y/N), you never apologize.” He shot back, concerned, before moving to face you as he held your arms in his hands. “You don’t apologize for this, alright?”

You could only shake your head. You couldn’t open your eyes and your hands were shaking. 

JJ knitted his eyebrows, running his hand up your arm to your shoulder swiftly before rubbing his thumb against your bare shoulder and pulling you into him. “C’mere.”

You sobbed harder into his chest as muffled cries for help tore through your whole body. “I'm a bad mom━━I can’t do this, I can’t━━”

You couldn’t fucking do this

You were so alone, nothing.

Fuck, fuck, fuck━━you were drowning.

You couldn’t, you couldn’t.

You couldn’t! 

Suddenly, JJ placed his hands on your shoulders━━backing you away from his chest so all you had left to do was stare at the ground in shame, trying to cover your red and glossy face from his view.

He placed his hands on each side of your head, lifting it as he forced you to look at him. “Yes, you can.”

You just kept shaking your head. You weren't listening or paying attention to what anyone was saying, you knew. No━━just no, you couldn’t.

He brought his face close to yours, looking into your eyes deeply, as if everything he could say could reach your brain. Your eyes scanned his face━━sadness pooling deep into those waves, just waiting to burst and form the waterfall. 

“You’re strong, (Y/N). The strongest person I know.” He brought your back to his chest, and he felt your tension ease as your shoulder sagged before wrapping your arms around him.

The only response he got was a choked sob.

“What have you always done, huh? What was the one thing you told me that you promised yourself when Leo was first born?”

“But, you don’t understand.” You whispered, your voice high with emotion. “He’s going to━━”

“I know, I know━━and we’re going to help you.” 

“But you can’t! Okay? You fucking can’t because my life, Leo’s, and maybe all of yours is on the line! I can’t deal with this shit━━”

JJ’s eyes suddenly widened. “What’d you mean?”

Surprised you  let all that anger take over yourself, you blinked as if they could take back all those words. Instead, you let out a sigh and wiped the tear falling down your face.

You could do this.

Just tell him, he trusts you, (Y/N).

“I know he’s his dad, and I never want to keep him away from him━━but he’s just not fit enough to be one━━Y’know? It’s just, like it’s just about the thought of being one, but where was he these past few years! I was just raising him alone, and he hadn’t tried to contact me or find me, nothing━━he didn’t give to shits!” You swallowed the thick lump in your throat. Your voice was cracking and you were afraid you were going to break down again. The smallest touch would affect you now. “And now━━now he’s threatening me, and you guys━━and my dad, my house━━” yep, there it was, the tears. “And I'm scared. I'm so scared, i'm so━━”

Your shaken voice stopped as JJ pulled you in for a hug again, and the one of a million barriers crashed down behind your eyes.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, or Leo. None of us will let that happen.”

“He knows stuff, JJ━━he knows about everything we’ve done and he’s going to use that against us.”

He continued rubbing your back, sending shivers down your spin as your stomach swelled with the oh too familiar feeling of butterflies. “Well we have something against him too, right?”

You knitted your eyebrows against his chest, before stepping back to look him in the eyes. “What?”

“Just give me a day, I’ll get it sorted out.” JJ squeezed your shoulder, and was about to head for the door until━━

“━━Hey! What are you going to do? That’s Leo’s dad, remember━━”

“I’m not going to hurt him, not too bad. Shit━━but I am gon’ make sure he doesn’t lay a finger on you, or Leo.”

With that, he spun on his heel and ran out the door, leaving you alone━━but you didn’t feel like you did before. JJ was there and so were your friends, you lost sight of that.

It only needed JJ to get you back up again, and to help you find the way when you were starting to get lost. Only this time, it hadn’t been too late.

thanks for reading! request anything for any character in my masterlist

masterlist                       jj maybank masterlist

[headstrongandhealing]

My Mom dying when I was 23 didn't give me an eating disorder, it didn't make me unhealthy, it didn't even give me depression. I had all of those things from a young age because I felt like a fish out of water and the unbalanced chemicals in my brain told me that was right.

Her passing on didn't give me an immune disorder that ravaged my thyroid, it didn't make me pre-diabetic, and it definitely didn't give me a taste for pizza - all of those things were in me too.

As a child, my Mom struggled to keep weight off even through summer sports and dancing; she never got Glenda's "thunder thighs" (thanks grandma), but she did inherit her tendency to overcook and a bad habit of feeding her kids to make them feel better. Skinned knee? Hug and a bowl of cereal. Bad grades? Let's go for ice cream.

By the time I was 10, I had major body image issues and stopped wearing shorts, bathing suits, tank tops - anything that exposed me more to the world. Over the next decade, I'd develop a wardrobe of cardigans, jackets, hoodies, peacoats, jeans and long sleeves without ever taking a moment to think up a fashion sense. I couldn't afford to try and look cute? I had flab and scars to cover (bc if your stomach is in a hoodie, does it even exist?!).

My Grief for my Mom was shelved and unshelved for the first two years by a zombie piloting an amanda shaped...thing through the world. It broke my brain in a way, both the intensity of the grief I felt for someone I didn't always like that much, but also the chaos that ensued the moment her memorial ended.

Grief sits on that shelf for some people for years, decades. My brother didn't break from the weight of it, he cracked in half and shattered into a million pieces.

If you have not lost a parent, I cannot describe it to you. Every little thing you've ever resented them for, every mistake they made or cutting word vanishes into a pool of unimportant memory... because they're gone. Who are you mad at, a leftover body? A memory? It doesn't serve you, you don't get clairty or vengeance or an apology. You just ache.

I ache now; I can't listen to some music artists without wailing like she died yesterday. It doesn't matter that I'll be 31 soon; it doesn't matter that her death date was almost 8 years ago. She was aching for two parents lost a decade before I was born, and I never knew what that great sadness felt like to carry around...and she was carrying it x 2.

The day before my life-altering surgery is her death date. I didn't choose it, the surgeon did, and it stopped me in my tracks when I realized yesterday. Dark and light, yin and yang, death and rebirth, it just felt... poignant. Pointed. A nice little "Hah" from her side, if there is a side, probably not.

If I make it through the surgery, because nothing is ever guaranteed, now when I talk about that date, it will be with joy. "Look at this wonderful tool I gave myself to be successful, and just a few days before my birthday too!" What has always been a depressing calendar reminder of what I lost now gets to be a base for hope and excitement.

I find peace in things like this that I never did when I was young and my juvenile brain was clouded with anger and grudges. I don't have to love everything about myself or give myself "you're pretty" affirmations in the mirror each morning- I'm just looking for net zero. For body neutrality and mental stability.

[venomous--fics]

Anon asked: maybe a continuation of the peter b parker kid thing where they finally confront the mom and get the readers things back 😩💞💞

a/n: ask and thou shall receive! this spent so long in the drafts bc i felt so insecure about it tbh, so any feedback is appreciated! I love seeing messages about what you guys think! really keeps me motivated! also, requests are open

Warnings: mentions of past abuse

Peter was sitting at the kitchen table, constantly looking at the clock. It was almost 5pm, you were supposed to be home an hour and a half ago. Yes, he keeps track of everyone's schedules, yes he knows the exact second you should be walking through the door. He's already texted you, but maybe you had detention. Nah, you were a good student, he highly doubted you'd have to stay after school.

His phone finally rang, and he was way too quick answering it.

"You okay?"

"I need some help."

"What is it?" he was already out the door.

You sighed, knowing he was probably going to give you an earful later.

"Well, it's a really long story, right.. But my mom showed up after school-"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I think. Anyways, we got into it on the way home, which is no- Not normal." you adjusted how you were sitting, "And since she was dragging me back to the house, I figured I'd just get my crap and come home, right? Makes sense, saves us the tri-"

"She took you without permission?"

"Technically she is my m-...Parent. I guess, y'know, legally she can do whatever- But..Okay." you began to feel bubbles of anxiety and pain and even resentment form deep in your core, "She locked me out." You rubbed your neck.

"Are you," he paused, looking around at all the faces passing by him, "Still there?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? Don't apologize, you didn't do anything."

"I keep causing problems for everyone."

"Not for me. Or Mj."

It was quiet on your end.

"You still there?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there in like ten minutes."

"You probably shouldn't."

"Nah, nah." He said, having a sudden wave of anger rush over him, "Let me take care of this."

And true to his word, Peter was there in ten minutes. You hopped up from your spot on the porch as he made his way up to the door and knocked on it as hard as he could. He gave you a reassuring pat on the back.

The door swung open, and your mother seemed awfully surprised and confused to see some random man just standing there. Peter held no emotion has he looked her dead in the eye, "Can we come in."

She opened the door wider so that way you two could step in.

"Go get your stuff." is all Peter said to you.

Wasting no time, and not wanting to be in the middle of a potential argument between the two, you skedaddled to your room. It almost felt like too much to be in there. It looked so empty and barren compared to your room at Peter and Mjs place. Seems really dull. Lifeless, almost. Dust covered every surface, which meant that nobody had ever even bothered to see if you were even still in there.

You heard their voices from the living room, but they seemed so distant, seeing as all you could focus on was every shitty thing that woman put you through.

You remember the day that you got bit. It made you deathly ill, and you just thought you were dying from some sort of allergic reaction to the spider bite. You tried to get her to take you to any doctor or anywhere that could help because all you could seem to see were stars.

Everything then was so loud. Everything was so bright. It was all too much, and you were certain that the reaper was waiting for you. What did she say?

"Suck it up and stop pretending. Everything has to be so dramatic with you."

Or that time you forgot a single item on the shopping list. You got this whole speech about how stupid you had to have been. To forget one item. It was the world's most useless item.

Everything else seemed to play all over again, all at once. Like a waterfall. It should've made you sad. It should've made you cry, or scream.

You recounted all the times you wanted to fight back, or just run away. Leave everything behind and just run until your legs gave out. But you never did. You always found some reason to linger.

The conversation was growing louder where Peter was.

"You aren't going to do this to them ever again. Sign the papers."

You nearly dropped your last belonging on the floor as you scrambled to your door. Papers? He wasn't serious. Well, obviously he was. He just said it.

"Fine. It's not like the-"

"Zip it. Sign the papers."

"Who are you anyways? The law? If so, whatever they've told you is a b-"

"Listen, lady. I didn't ask for any attitude. I told you to sign the papers." he seemed to huff in annoyance, "That doesn't require talking."

"I'm a good mother."

"And I'm the king of France."

"Really. I gave them a good home. I have fed them and kept them warm-"

"Really? You think you did all that? Or are you convincing yourself that you did all that?"

"I am-"

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Ye-"

"I've never said this about anyone, ever. I don't like speaking to or about anyone like this.. Ever, but, you? I think you're a piece of shit."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, look. You finished signing the papers. I'll take those. Thank you."

Realizing that it was your time to go, you stuffed your blanket into your duffel bag and rushed out the door and down the hall. Peter looked at you, expecting to see at least three bags. But he only saw the one.

"Where's the rest of your stuff."

"Uhm," you shuffled around, pretending as thought you dropped some, "This...This is all my stuff."

"That can't be ri-" He laughed a little, and noting the expression on his face, you saw that he was NOT happy. "That? That single duffle bag is all you have? That's it?"

"Yes..." you took a step back, "This is all.."

"I can't believe it." he said, "You're joking! One bag worth of stuff?"

He turned his attention back to your mother, who, for the first time in your life, actually looked like she got caught red handed, "You're pathetic. Absolutely pathetic."

"But they're so u-"

"No! No, you don't get to talk anymore. You've done enough."

You awkwardly shuffled behind him, in the event that you two had to make a mad dash out the door. That and you needed to not be seen as you tried to hide your almost evil grin.

"The hell is wrong with you? You have this amazing kid, and THAT'S all you've ever gotten for them? And you sit there and call yourself a mother? Absolutely, without a doubt, bullshit. I'd be ashamed of myself to call myself a father if that's all I've provided for my kid. Don't even get me started on you as a person, we made that clear."

It almost felt cursed to hear him swear, seeing as he made it a point to tell you to not swear. Every time you did, you have to give a quarter to the swear jar. Mj was always on your side, though. She'd say a swear that was much worse and have to pay a dollar. Each word had a value.

"Maybe we should just go." you suggested, tugging on the sleeve of his arm, "She's not worth it anymore."

"She was never worth it, it seems."

You finally made eye contact with her, and the look in her eye. It's like she understood, but was choosing to not do anything about the situation. She could look sorry all she wanted, but you knew she wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. You know that right."

"That means nothing to me."

"I can change."

"If you can change now, that means you could've changed then. You just chose not to."

"But I'm your mother, you should realize how I feel. You should want-"

"You're not my mom. You stopped being my mom the first time you-" You turned towards the door and started walking towards it, "Whatever. You mean nothing to me."

You practically kicked open teh door just to leave, and Peter was right behind you, shouting about how he'd make sure to egg her house everyday, just to piss her off.

"Do you really think I'm amazing?" you asked, the walk home feeling rather quiet.

"I think you're more than that. Just can't put it into words."

"Did you really mean it...That we could egg her house?"

"You want to? There's a store right on the way home."

"How about tomorrow."

"I'll have to clear up my busy schedule. See if I can work in a drive by egging. Well, swing by egging."

"You promise?"

"You kidding? I haven't egged anyone's house since college."

You had so much more you wanted to get off you chest, but you opted to just talk about it at home, with everyone present. You wanted to talk about how you felt about everything, and the papers. Whatever those were. But you were, for the moment, busy laughing about Peter's story about how he used to Egg this one reporters house. Someone named Jonah.

You wonder if Jonah ever put two and two together.

[ryoskuna]

⭑ promised eternity | hades!sukuna x persephone!reader au headcanons (PT 1).

A/N: ... yo... i would like to say whoever threatened to send me toe pics, a-plus, bc you made me release this into the wild. * insert megumi meme face here * but this is just HEADCANONS for a hades!sukuna and persephone!reader-esque universe, and because y’all are as thirsty as I am, it includes some SFW and NSFW headcanons. grab your water bottles, and I apologize for my subconscious now. (cause it’s always on auto-pilot and giving me wild af ideas.) We shall all thirst... over OG form sukuna as well, because ,, well, big daddy, do i need to say more???  also this is some seriously fantasy like au , sort of, it takes place during sukuna’s original time as a curse, when gojo’s ancestor was after him, and hints wildly on that, and also will hit moments where the sorcerers are of course, hunting him. feel free to give me your thoughts and ask questions, because i love you all.  onward to the THIRST! ( also side note, promised eternity is the name of the potential series that may come from this. ) 

this is part one of the headcanons, and they’re all SFW.

being married to the king of curses is not easy. it’s awkward at first, and then later on, comforting at best. to have someone who believes in you, roots you on (even if he’s kind of mean about it at first), is better than having nothing. you’ve been looked at for so long as a “curse” for your untrained cursed energy, that to have someone who sees potential in your “god” given gifts instead of spite (or only useful in preventing a raid) is refreshing. and unsettling at first.

speaking of that, sukuna basically rescued you from your village. for the entirety of your life before him, your cursed energy has gone unchecked, untrained.  so it fluctuates with your emotions. it’s useful when you summon your wrath to defend your village or when your untrained reverse cursed techniques help the crops grow— but any other time, you are known as a curse. your emotions grow sad or you grow angry, and people die accidentally. ( hence your harbinger of death nickname. )  sukuna, during his many trips to your village for taxes and the occasional “recruitment” of healthy women and me, he has noticed you. and he has noticed your vast amount of cursed energy. it’s all but too easy for him to command the head of your village to hand you over — your parent(s) have no say. 

sukuna is generous enough to compensate them, and the head of village. it’s one of few kindnesses he’ll show, besides eventually to you. sukuna will never tell, not till much later on, that he noticed you in every visit he’s ever made. that you deserved better than the mockery and scorn of your people. he offers to burn them all for you, but your mercy says otherwise.

speaking of when he came to get you, he was 10 feet tall, dressed in a black montsuki kimono and hakama. all four of his arms are on display, and all four of his eyes are on you.

you, are in a shiromuku, complete with a wataboshi — you and your mother (or a village woman) made it, but it will not be the last of your “bridal” gowns as you travel through at least five villages before arriving at sukuna’s fortress-like palace. sukuna has prepared you both a uchikake style kimono (adorned with pinks and reds), a hikifurisode style kimono (black, but also adorned with whites and golds and reds)— lastly is the Tomesode, which you arrive to your new home in, adorned in pins and signs of your new status. it’s here you discover you are not meant to be a mistress, you are meant to be a wife. his wife. his first, and his only (or at least he’ll try to keep it that way).

sukuna does not make time for much. rumors of him are notorious of his over-indulgence, guided by only his pleasure and displeasure, which is slightly true.  but he makes time for you. you aren’t like the others he’s taken in his time, whether for his entertainment or to be in his service (you are not his toy as he has a habit of disposing of his playthings once they bore him); you’re his wife, but you are also this powerful being, who if trained, will become even more powerful. if you were a sorcerer, you’d rival him — but you are his equal. 

he tries to make you feel that way by shrinking down to your size. he drops his 10 ft height (even through he can grow larger), to 6′8 or 7ft (pick your preference). it helps him watch the way you fight him, and he’ll change his height to help you train to fight enemies of different sizes.

sukuna’s loyalty to you forms in the midst of gifts. he’s lavish and again, over-indulgent. before your lips ask for it, somehow you already have whatever you desire. however, he also realizes, the more that he’s around you that gifts don’t make you happy (as pleasing as they are). being in his company is what makes you happy. oh, and sukuna’s very careful to touch you. his strength knows no bounds, until you touch him. you have to be the one that touches him first. it’s a brush over the knuckles, your tiny hand wrapping around his big one.

the way you manipulate plants to your advantage as a defense will never not amaze him. the way you use vines to wrap around him to capture him is genius, and the sneak attack you give has gotten better. he’ll still tease you ask “is that the best you can do” with your hits to provoke more of your strength, and he’ll give praise at the end, in his own way. (more touches.)

sukuna’s untouched garden becomes yours as one of your wedding gifts. it’s yours, and all the servants know it. everyone on his grounds knows it is yours. 

you haven’t realized it since your arrival, but there are female servants that are your handmaidens, but for the harem that sukuna supposedly keeps — you have no idea where they are. it isn’t till one of your handmaidens inform you that he freed them with compensation. it’s not an uncommon practice for him, you’re told. he does not keep anyone against their will, and he never forced the girls he kept to do anything. for him, war and fighting made his blood rush just as much as sex could.

you and sukuna’s cursed energy manages to mingle to create a rare flower, one that turns from a gold color to red at the tips of the petals. he later tells you that beautiful things can come from destruction, and it makes you think of yourself, and who you’ve become with his guidance as you look into his eyes.

the first time you sleep in his bed with him, he lays still on one side of the bed (which is unusual for him) until you beckon him closer. he meets you halfway in the middle, where you lay your head on his chest and listen to the sound of him breathing. he’ll never admit it at first, but the comfort you give to him is startling, but welcomed. he wraps two arms around you, but it isn’t until you’re sleep that all four hold you gently against him, as if those four arms are shields to keep you safe.

He admires your strength and the various ways it shows itself. He has since your “wedding day”, when you shed no tears at being taken from your family. When you told him “do what you will”, but also in your rage he tapped into when you wrapped thorny vines around him when he provoked you by calling you “a murderous curse of a girl”.  He apologizes for this comment at some point, while you two lay together in the garden.

he presents to you a crown, shaped after the marks on his forehead (preserved through a picture painted on a fan). it is two horns towards the ceiling, made of black metal the color of obsidian. 

sukuna enjoys towering over you. and more importantly, once it no longer startles you, you enjoy the safety that his height reminds you of.

the form of trust sukuna has with you is seen by the servants when assigns advisors to you, as well as teaches you how to deal with trials when they come forth. you are his rose with thorns now, and you know how to use them.

someone speaks ill of sukuna? you are reminding them of their place: “speak ill of your king again with that tongue of yours and i’ll take it”

OKAY BADASS, and sukuna is all for it, just “that’s my s/o”

and lord, the pet names this man has for you: “my dove” “my love” “my moon” and you with: “my sun and stars” (thank u got)... he’s got a lot of pet names.

he likes to hold you on his side for some reason, whenever he can. honestly, he just likes you close.

basically, you’re tough as hell and powerful as hell and you grow into your added strength and he loves it.

can you say POWER COUPLE OF THE AGES

[apollostears]

BROWN SUGAR [ k. seokjin ]

group: bts

pairing: jin x black!fem!reader

creator: maya

warning(s): swearing

request: jin with a black s/o (headcanons)

writing for jin is such a struggle for me, so i apologize in advance for the shortness and lack of in-depth detail 🥺

jin was in for a culture shock when he got with you.

obviously, he knew about black people but he never really knew any on a personal level, so meeting you and falling for you was completely unexpected. you guys met at an award ceremony, you being invited there, and having the opportunity to meet plenty of your favorite idols. the global sensation kpop group being one of them.

jin adores everything about you. from the way you talk down to the way you walk, he worships the literal ground that you walk on.

he's also the type to defend you against any cultural stereotypes that are thrown your way because of the relationship you two hold. you have become his number one priority and he makes it his mission for everyone to know that.

jin is pretty private about his life but he jumps at any chance to show you off. whether you hate it or love it, kim seokjin is about to let everyone and they mama know who he with.

speaking of, his parents love you. it took some slight adjusting, with two different cultures and backgrounds merging, but they saw you for you and loved how happy you made their son.

despite his impossibly busy schedule, he makes time for you and vice versa. y'all have a routine to make sure that you guys have adequate time to communicate with one another.

when it comes to visiting, more often than not you're seeing him and it's not something you mind because it gives you an excuse to visit such a beautiful country and see your friends.

now, onto the mushier stuff

jin is a simp for you and anything you do. modeling for a perfume or something beauty related? mans is getting billboards put up all over seoul.

performing in the Savage x Fenty show? he’s there, front and center.

same for movies and tv show premiers, ambassador work, etc.

y’all are such a fine ass couple omg!!! he’s handsome and you’re gorgeous, people are always tryna cop a pic when they can.

jin loves to cuddle with you. it’s one of his favorite things to do, especially with the distance between you guys.

when you’re around, it’s designated“y/n and jin” time. nothing is more important to him then spending time with you.

he cooks for you!!!! you could just be minding your business and then jin comes in talking about your five-course meal being ready like y’all French.

but he also adores when you cook for him. it brings out the domestic partner in him.

speaking of domestic, he’s a family man and he wants kids, so be prepared to have them. i feel like he’s the type of man to know whether their partner is worthy of marrying him, quickly. in translation; if y’all together more than six months, he wanna marry you.

PLEASE match with him!! he doesn’t care if y’all are ten thousand miles apart, jin would absolutely adore the days that the two of you coordinate outfits w one another.

he shows you off to the guys A LOT. you could breathe and he’d be like “isn’t y/n so perfect?”

especially when you have some big project coming up, all those boys hear about is you and what you’re doing. which, they don’t mind bc they like you it’s just that jin talks a mile a minute 💀

so all they hearing is “aukebtlyltddd and sxiakoskdnrfn, you know?” and they’re sitting there like 🧍🏽‍♂️

kisses you like it’s the last time. it always makes u sad that this is your relationship w him, never knowing when you’ll see him again, but it’s sooo worth it from the way he looks at you while you’re crying like you’re the most beautiful thing in the world.

sings songs for you bc you always pester him about his confidence in himself and that he has such a fantastic voice!!

sends you random videos of himself that hold no rhyme or reason; just that he misses you and wants your attention.

refuses to sleep until he sees your face. whether you’re going to bed or he is. if y’all can’t ft atm, videos suffice:).

jin becomes your biggest protector and advocate and he makes sure you know it every single day.

❧ join my taglist: @cliffordasparagus @olamidey @supop @knjkitten @sweeneyblue1 @pimpnameyannie @sunrayyellowhalo @exomama-random @namjoonswifeyy @simplyskz-maya @valkryienymph

[daniveigt]

This side of us - Chapter 1

Summary: Yn solo and Poe Dameron have been friends since they met. But if you look closely you'll see that maybe they love each other. or not?

Warnings: star wars references. a little sad, but nothing too heavy. yn does not speak as a way to deal with feelings.

Word Count: 2K

A\N: I started writing this fanfic today and I'm already finishing her 2nd episode. I'll try to do something small, with less than 10 chapters, but in a detailed way that explores the novel and all the last 3 films in the Star Wars saga. Tomorrow I'll try to bring the next chapter. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistake. I'm new to the Star Wars world too, so if there's any mistake in history, tell me!!! I hope you like it, I love you poe dameron  

GIF It's not mine! credits to the creator, 

No one never understood what was going on between Poe dameron and Y/N solo. Even the elders of the resistance, who saw the girl grow up, didn't understand what was going on. Since the day Poe set foot at the base of the resistance he and Y/n they became best friends. Those who saw from afar thought they were just friends, but for those closest to the two they saw that they had something else.

Even for Leia it was obvious. Poe arrived after what happened at the Jedi temple. She'd rather not think about it. Sometimes she'd rather think her son was on another planet doing something instead of being on some empire ship. And the brother was somewhere training younger Jedi. 

Leia embraced Poe as her son. Especially after her saw how he helped Y/N after... 

Y/N was a little older than Ben. Her uncle, Luke, trained her a little earlier than her brother. The day Ben left, she was gone of the temple. She had completed her Jedi training. She was coming home with BC-2, her droid. When she got home she was greeted by her parents crying. Not happiness. It was the first time she saw her father cry. And the last time she saw her mother cry was in the birth of, well, him. 

She didn't understand. She had seen her brother the day before. He was fine. He had joked about some other Jedi student, who for some reason couldn't carry the saber. They laughed, she cried when she said goodbye. She hugged her uncle and promised she'd be back in a month. 

Why didn't they send her any transmissions? She would have come back, talked to him. Your brother would understand you. Wouldn`t? He was afraid, he must have thought he let his uncle down and ran away to the evil side of the force.

She didn't say anything for six months. It was her way of dealing with the situation. In the third month they received the news that they most feared for an empire spy. He was being trained by Snoke. 

2 weeks after that news Han Solo and Chewie left. 

She understood. For some reason she always understood people. It was their way of dealing with it. Leia got into work. She said it was just work, but Y/N knew that while she was working, she was looking for him. 

What about Y/N? She helped with the resistance. Going on missions, helping some refugees from cities taken by the empire, and running all over the base when she was left with nothing to do. 

When Poe arrived he wondered if he had made the right decision to join the resistance. He was 23 years old and had lost so much. It was presented to everyone except Y/N. The younger people at the base did not understand her, especially why she did not speak. The older ones knew, but they didn't say why. 

The younger ones said that since she was a Jedi and could not say anything if she did could die, others said that her voice could kill everyone. Poe thought this idea was stupid, just another gossip. He had seen her from a distance, and had already realized that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

Their first interaction was in a meeting. Actually, it wasn't exactly an interaction. He was talking to one of the mechanics after the meeting, and as he looked into his eyes he saw a flash of fear and gave an apology and left. When he went to protest he felt a hand on his shoulder. To his surprise he turned and saw her, C3-PO and her droid, BC-2.

"Hello Mr. Poe Dameron. Miss Y/N would like to congratulate you on your flight on the last mission." As C3-PO spoke, Poe couldn't take his eyes out of her eyes. He knew she was pretty, but when he saw her up close he ran out of air. Y/N also looked at him, but in a more uncomfortable way. It's been so long for her since anyone actually looked at her. Suddenly Poe became aware that he was not breathing and pulled the air in a very noisy way. "An, it's... An, o-thank you lady, hm Lady Y/N." Poe had a shock, because he realized it was the first time a woman had him stutter. And Y/N hadn't even exchanged a syllable with him. 

"She also wanted to ask about the maneuver you made when that ship came towards you, could you explain?" C3-PO said again and Poe explained quickly, leaving no opportunity for him to stutter again. Y/N heard everything looking directly at his face, paying more attention than she paid for in the Jedi lessons with Luke. When he finished explaining C3-PO looked at y/n, in which she waved and the droid returned to look at Poe. "Thank you Mr Poe Dameron, mrs y/n is grateful. If you'll excuse me, I have some obligations to deal with right now. I hope I helped you Ma'am." Then the droid left, leaving Poe and Y/n. 

They stared at each other for a while longer when she realized she should leave. She turned to leave and for the first time in 6 months, in a hoarse whisper she said, "Thank you." Poe listened, and when he heard he shuddered and realized he needed to meet this woman. Y/N didn't even realize she'd spoken, she thought she'd just waved. She was so tired of the mission, she just wanted to get out of that meeting as soon as possible. But when she saw the incredible new endurance rider in the corner, looking a little lost, she knew he needed to exchange some interaction with him.

As soon as the meeting was over she pulled the protocol droid into an empty corner and asked him to mediate the conversation. She realized that she had "talked" to someone besides her mother for the first time the next day. She was so ashamed that her hands trembled all day. She thanked her that she didn't have to go out with the x-wing that day, because she knew that before she left the hangar she would lose control. 

Leia meet Poe 3 days later. She had finally taken some time to talk to the new resistance star. Where she was going she hear about the amazing new pilot. She called the boy into her office and talked. They spent 30 minutes talking nonstop. It seemed little, but they met and Leia could already see the good-hearted man and the boy hiding behind his face. She had a brief perception with the force, that this man could one day take her place as a general. Who knows even maybe with YN´s help.

As Poe was about to leave he turned around and asked Leia, "General, do you know Mrs. Y/n?" "Yes, I do, why?" Leia realized that Poe did not know that Y/n was her daughter, but did not mention this fact. She wanted to know what he was going to say. "She, um, talked to me. I mean, she didn't talk to me. C3-PO spoke for her. But, um I... You know what? I have to go, have a good day, General!" And so Poe left leaving the woman surprised. 

Her daughter didn't talk to anyone but her, she knew. Even if it was by C3-PO it was already a major breakthrough. She saw an interest in Poe for the girl, but kept that information to her. 

3 weeks later she had one idea. She was going to send both in a mission. Leia sent them together because she realized that even if they didn't talk they felt comfortable with each other. At all the meetings they sat nearby, at lunchtime they sat together. If Poe was somewhere Y/N was next to him, and if Y/N was somewhere, Poe would be there. 

The mission was pretty simple actually. Go to this uninhabitable planet, where it had been the last base of the resistance and seek some plans and reports of ancient missions. But it would last at least two weeks to get back and going. Poe accepted and went to pack his things. He didn't question it. He wasn't excited about the mission itself, but he knew it was an oportunnity going in a mission with Y/n. He wanted to at least try to talk to her. She didn't have to answer if she didn't want to. 

But Y/N knew her mother was up to something. She wouldn't send a Jedi and one of her best pilots just to pick up some old plans that no longer make sense these days. "What are you up to?" Her hoarse voice because of disuse brought a shiver all over her body, but she ignored him. Her mother looked at her and smiled. "Nothing dear. Now go and pack your things. Before you go come here to say goodbye to me, all right?" Y/n stared at her mother a little more and headed out towards his room. Together some clothes, took a blaster and the saber. She stopped by the office, hugged her mother and she said goodbye with a look saying 'take care'. She didn't want to lose another son. 

Poe was waiting outside the ship assigned to them. For some reason the news that he was going on a mission with the girl had already spread all over the base. Had he just received the assignment for the mission, how everyone already knew? And how did they know he was going with Y/n? Some of the mechanics and pilots who passed him wishing good luck. But he knew it wasn't good luck for the mission. He knew it was 'good luck to deal with the girl'. He understood the message between the lines. 

Y/n knew about all the theories that they had about her, but she knew she had more important things to deal with. Like a brother in the empire, a missing uncle, a missing father who refused to say where he was and only responded to her broadcasts by telling the latest news and that he was fine. And the war she knew was imminent. 

The girl quickly passed through all the corridors and went to the hangar, finding Poe and her droid playing. It was kind of funny. Y/N put her hand on his back and Poe who was kneeling to reach the time of the droid. Poe looked up and found her eyes. She waved toward the ship. A small one, but one that had enough room for both of them and the droids. 

"Yes, of course, let's go. Come BB-8." Before he even got up right he had already taken the bag off her shoulders and walked to the entrance of the ship leaving no time for her to deny the attitude. Y/N, confused, went up the ramp and while Poe kept her purse she began to turn on the ship and close the ramp. While Y/N sat in place of co-pilot Poe came to take control of the ship. "Let's get this baby off the ground." 

Y/N took a deep breath, knowing it would be a long 2 weeks without speaking.

[sundaeserenade]

Thoughts on the following reguri tropes:

"Green/Blue was a little shit but went through extreme character development after losing to Red, becoming Gym Leader and eventually finding Red atop Mt. Silver"

"Professor Oak is terrible and he and Green have a strained relationship"

"Red's mom thinks of Green as her son"

"Green hates being a gym leader"

oooo this is fun!!!

I like Green getting character development after losing to Red!!!! but i also like him still being a little shit. I always love when people mix those together, like Green goes to find Red to apologize, but he's still kinda mean? But then he apologizes. Like his words still have this edge to them, but he corrects himself because he knows that his attitude isn't helping and that it likely contributed to Red leaving. I like Green making that effort but he's a teenager and he's not perfect, so it goes rocky.

and I like Red being unsure of how he feels about Green. I know another trope is that Red's like forgiving when Green comes to see him, but I really like when Red's angry and is only tolerating Green because he's too nice. But he's not friendly at all. I really like Mt. Silver being this strained period in their lives.

I don't want it to go perfectly, I want it to be messy so that Red and Green have to try and keep trying to fix things between them. I like that conflict.

but yeah! green becomes gym leader and grows from that, grows from working with other people and seeing different perspectives. he sees all these kids who have the same fire in their eyes as he and red did, but he beats them, and he has to deal with telling them why they lost. like they start crying and green's like "…well what the fuck do i do now"

i like green going into that environment and learning more about himself and the world around him. that's a good place for him to grow.

I definitely think Oak and Green have a very strained relationship. I think they can reach a point where they can come to an understaning, but it'll never be a realtionship that lives up to it's potential. Oak ruined that with his strict parenting style and negligence to reward Green with positive reinforcement and room to display his emotions to help develop his emotional maturity. Green needed attentitiveness and love, and he got expectations and pressure. So… it'll never be what it could be. And y'know that's sad, but it's how so many relationships go.

Like that strained, terrible kind of relationship with a family member where you only ever do quick check-ups and nothing deeper happens. They don't know you at all. They have no idea what your favorite color is or what you like to eat, and yknow, they may have no interest in knowing. Very sad. But it happens to many people.

On to happier things, Red's mom def thinks of Green as her own son. She gave him love when he could and probably knew that he had feelings for Red, and she probably regrets not speaking to Green about it since Oak didn't ever talk to him about that stuff. But she loves Green!! and is always there for him and will do anything for him. she wants red and green to get along bc she knows they're good friends. she invites green over when he's a gym leader and talks with him, checks in on him. she's supportive and makes sure he knows that he can come to her.

also love the trope of green feeling guilty around her bc he thinks he drove red away. good stuff.

Uhm!!! I don't think green would hate being a gym leader. i haven't seen that trope too much, but i disagree. He's a trainer that loves good battles, and since he's the last gym before the league, he'd consistently get good battles, so he'd like that. I do think he'd hate aspects of his gym leader job. like having to adhere to guidelines and restrictions when it comes to his own team and the moves they use, having to do paperwork, having to train multiple teams, having to only use a certain amount of pokemon/items, the restrictions he wouldn't like, but green would love being in charge and bossing people around. being a gym leader gives him that status of importance that's tangible. like he has the champion title, but that's all he's got to show for it aside from…being in the hall of fame, but he's been sidelined in that regard. it's still a great thing, but green would like something that he could show off and dress up, too, and being a gym leader allows him that.

this was funnnn!!!! thank you for sending this in.

[incorrect-jatp-quotes]

oK, AU where Luke looses his voice, like, really looses it, mute, like forever, when he is 15... very close to turning 16, idk, car accident? He doesn’t talk about it, Sunset Curve was already a thing, but after that they couldn’t keep going so now it was just sort of a hobby for them, and Luke still writes music, and lyrics, but he can’t sing them.

The boys all know sign language, actually, Reggie teaches them all, including Luke, bc his sister is deaf, so they all have it covered. But there are exceptions, when Alex is just having an anxiety episode Luke will just let him talk all he wants until he calms down so that he can actually talk to him, when Reggie is tired after spending yet another night awake bc of his parents fights happens the same, and when Bobby is sad or just really out of it he’ll grab him by the shoulders so that he knows he can talk.

This is also why he is so affectionate, physically, he had always been but after this he just tries to find more ways to show his friends he loves them without words.

Also, the boys are amazing, they love him and they try to do everything they can so that he feels comfortable.

Damn this is gonna be long... sorry....

THEN HE MEETS JULIE

They seat next to each other in class, and she is confused bc he never talks to her, and she has never heard him talk, the teacher never asks him anything and still, he seems like a really enthusiastic and loud person, which he is, in his own way.

So after a couple of weeks she asks him something about the class and he writes it down on a paper, she’s again confused and he notices so he laughs and writes down “mute” and she goes “oh.... cat got your tongue I assume” which is... such a dad joke but he still laughs like it’s the best joke ever

So they become friends, they teach her sign language, she’s a fast learner and then she finds Luke’s songbook, she knows about the guys and the music but she didn’t know luke used to sing and she definitely didn’t know he wrote, so she starts reading them and signing them so quietly útil he hears her

And he’s so happy bc he hasn’t heard his songs in such a long time, so he cries, and then Julie joins them and she sings with them

Also, I’m this thing, Bobby is still part of the band, Alex is a rich only child, Reggie is the oldest with three little sister and has ADHD, Flynn is there and she is like best friends with Reggie too, it’s like those situations in which u have two best friends and they don’t know each other, well that happened with Julie and Reggie, Ray is still the Dad for basically everyone and Reggie calls him dad way more times than even Julie, by “accident”, Willie is a kid from another school, and idk, I love Luke x Reggie but is anyone were to use this AU for whatever reason, I don’t really care what ships anyone likes better, use whatever... yeah I think that’s it.... this bitch is long, again, sorry

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR LONG ASKS BECAUSE YOU DELIVERED!!!!!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE THIS !!!!!

[fangirlandiknowit101]

Here's the sad pining sasuke i wrote last night... it's not finished and who knows when/if i'll finish it. university AU, not edited and there's some naru//hina and sasuke//OC bc i couldn't think of a canon character that fit. The texting part is also weird bc i wrote it all very fast lol. i'm sharing bc why not *shrugs*

xxx

It hurts, to look at them.

Sasuke can’t help himself. Naruto is his best friend, after all, and he’s not yet so desperate that he’ll avoid him. It’s worse, somehow, that he can’t even dislike her.

She’s good for him, he thinks, when he’s feeling particularly self-deprecating. Her hair is dark and her skin pale as porcelain, and that’s where the similarities end between him and Hinata.

Sweet, and so patient with Naruto. Soft-spoken, but not a pushover. Impeccably dressed, always, no make-up needed to outshine any girl beside her. A picture perfect couple, that’s what they are. It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t have to watch it unfold from the front row.

How her shyness turned to surety, how her eyes would catch on Naruto and look away before, but now – now she looks at him like he belongs to her, soft smile on her plump lips.

Sasuke can’t even hate her, and he wishes he could.

It’s not her fault that Sasuke is the way he is. She doesn’t know, isn’t doing it on purpose. And yet, there’s a stab to Sasuke’s chest every time she takes his hand, every time Naruto tucks her silky hair behind her perfect ear.

Naruto will kiss her cheek and Sasuke will be looking, always looking. His face devoid of emotion, his voice carefully neutral. He can’t be mean to Naruto’s girlfriend, though he wishes he could. Maybe if Naruto got mad at him and pushed him away, Sasuke would be free to move on.

It’s more likely that Sasuke would apologize and do better, and he’d rather spare himself the embarrassment.

Sometimes he imagines that Hinata will find out, that she’ll start treating him with suspicion, watch his every move with her wide eyes. Feel threatened by him. But Sasuke is no threat. He’s tired and hurting, but he’s not a homewrecker. It would be a lot easier if Naruto didn’t keep nudging him in Sakura’s direction.

It’s not Sakura’s fault, either. She’s dreaming of something she can’t have, and the similarities make him sick to his stomach.

Sometimes he thinks he’ll date her, live the lie to the fullest. Give her what she wants, since he’s doomed anyway. He doubts he’d last long, though. If he had even the slightest bit of interest in women – but when he looks at her, there’s just no attraction. He’s not sure how no one’s noticed yet. It’s not like he’s that good of an actor. He thinks the only reason no one’s figured it out is because he’s so deep in the closet, and they’re all so heterosexual. Why would they suspect he’s gay? It suits them better if he isn’t.

“Oh, I didn’t realize it was that late already,” Sakura says beside him, breaking him out of his thoughts.

The bar is lively around them, but the music is at a bearable noise level. She’s looking at her phone, frowning. On the other side of the small table, Naruto pouts.

“It’s not late!” he objects, the beer in his glass sloshing around as he waves his hands around. “We just got here!”

“We’ve been here for three hours, I think,” Hinata says, leaning her cheek on his shoulder.

Sasuke wonders how she manages, the way he moves around so much. Perhaps her body is as soft as her voice, easily following him.

“I told you I have to get up early tomorrow.” Sakura sighs, irritated. She fishes her bag up from the floor, putting her phone inside it. “I really have to get going.”

“I’ll walk you to the station,” Sasuke offers. Not because he particularly wants to, but he’s not in the mood to subject himself to third-wheeling Naruto and Hinata. “I should get going, anyway.”

“What?” Naruto looks disappointed, more disappointed than when Sakura announced her departure. “I thought you were free tomorrow.”

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke swallows down the last of his drink.

“Doesn’t mean I want to stay up all night,” he counters with, easing out of the booth. “I still have to study.”

“You study too much,” Naruto mutters, giving Hinata a smile like an afterthought when she squeezes his arm.

“Maybe if you studied at all you wouldn’t need to panic before every exam,” Sakura nags at him, coming around the table to wait next to Sasuke. “Some of us care about our grades.”

“Nerds.” At least Naruto looks a little happier, and Sasuke hates to think that it’s because he thinks anything’s going to happen between him and Sakura. “Don’t get lost, you two!”

They say their goodbyes, and Sasuke tries to pretend he doesn’t notice how Sakura’s cheeks fill with color when they step outside the bar. She’s put a jacket on, but Sasuke’s fine in his sweater. It’s not cold enough that her blush can be blamed on the weather.

“Thanks for walking me,” she says, hefting her bag higher up her shoulder. She’d joined them straight from the library, researching her latest paper. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s fine,” he tells her, hands tucked into his sleeves.

He doesn’t want to run the risk of her attempting to reach for his hand. As much as he dislikes her attention, it’s safer if she thinks he’s just playing hard to get. He won’t have to explain, then, why he hasn’t outright told her to give up. He should, he knows. But Naruto would just nudge him towards some other girl, would bother him about it until Sasuke started going on actual dates. It’s touching, how worried he is over Sasuke potentially being lonely.

Too bad Naruto himself is the cause of it.

“You’re not doing anything tomorrow, then?” Sakura asks, stepping aside as they meet a group of half-drunk businessmen. “I’m working until five…”

It would be so easy to invite her out. To suggest a movie, or trying out that new café near campus. To watch her eyes light up with hope, watch her mouth stretch into an excited smile.

“I really do need to study,” he says. “And I’m almost out of clean clothes.”

None of it is a lie, technically. He’s just not sure he’ll actually do either of those things tomorrow.

“Oh.”

She tries to hide her disappointment, and Sasuke is an expert by now at pretending he doesn’t notice. They walk the rest of the way in silence, waving a quick goodbye at the ticket gates as Sakura’s train is due to arrive in just two minutes. Sasuke buys a drink from a vending machine and takes small sips as he waits for his own, mindlessly scrolling through social media. He almost ignores the text Naruto sends.

> Wanna hang out tomorrow?

He contemplates it. On the one hand, yes, of course he wants to. On the other, having an entire day to himself has its appeal.

> I’ll be busy

> Ooh, with sakura?

The train arrives, and Sasuke snags a seat next to a couple too caught up with each other to pay attention to him.

> No

> Got studying and laundry to do

The reply is instant.

> That’s too boring!!! I’m coming over for lunch

> Whatever

He pockets his phone, and stares down at the bottle in his hands for the rest of the trip. It doesn’t help against the warmth rising in his chest. At least he doesn’t do this to Sakura – doesn’t invite himself into her space, ignorant of her feelings. It doesn’t make him feel better.

xxx

Sasuke doesn’t have a lot of friends. He’s got Naruto, and then there’s his small group of friends from high school. Naruto is the only one who still lives nearby. Rather, Sasuke had ended up staying in Konoha like him. It’s a big enough city that most of his classmates are strangers, although slightly less so in their second year. He stayed with his parents for his first year, but when one of his cousins moved abroad for work he took the opportunity to stay at her apartment instead. It’s closer to his university, and if he, potentially, wanted to bring a guy home then no one would know.

He doesn’t think his parents would mind, but there wouldn’t be any privacy. He relishes in it, and Naruto does, too.

“I should just move in with you,” Naruto groans, spread out on his couch. “You wouldn’t believe how annoying my mom was this morning.”

“I think I can believe it,” Sasuke tells him, cleaning up after their lunch. “And just to be clear, I’ve never said you’d be welcome to live here.”

“Stingy,” Naruto grumbles. “How long is your cousin gone, anyway?”

Shrugging, Sasuke dries off the counter just for something to do with his hands.

“A year at least. We’ll see. So it’s not like I’ll be living here forever.”

“But still!”

“Where would you even sleep?”

Naruto happily pats the couch. When Sasuke scowls at him, he simply grins.

“Come on,” Naruto says. “I want to watch a movie.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I need to study.”

Still, he gives in too easily. Naruto lifts his legs to give him room, dumping them all over Sasuke’s lap once he sits down. It’s things like this that makes Sasuke’s heart refuse to give up. He leans his elbow on the back of the couch, cheekbone pressed to his closed fist. He doesn’t say anything when Naruto picks a drama at random, letting him comment on the plot as much as he wants. Watching movies with Naruto is certainly never quiet, and he winces as Naruto kicks his legs as he shouts his anger at the main character.

When the movie ends, Naruto doesn’t start a new one. Instead he chews on his bottom lip, playing with the remote. Sasuke considers getting up to use the toilet, maybe suggesting going to the corner store for snacks, but then Naruto clears his throat suspiciously.

“What?” he asks, irritated when Naruto takes his time.

“So, how are things going with Sakura?”

He resists the urge to pinch his nose. He still lets out a heavy breath, not quite a sigh but close enough that Naruto frowns.

“I mean,” Naruto continues, “you could just ask her out. She’s definitely going to say yes.”

Sasuke shifts, uncomfortable. Naruto’s legs are still on top of his. His socks have little frogs on them.

“I’ve told you I’m not really into the idea of a relationship right now.”

“Uh-huh.” Naruto rolls his eyes, pushing himself up and finally removing his legs, crossing them at the ankles instead. “Sounds like excuses to me.”

“Just drop it, Naruto.”

“But if you get together things will be so much easier,” Naruto insists, poking at his arm. “We can go on double dates, and stuff.”

Sending him a glare, Sasuke pulls a leg up to his chest. It won’t prevent Naruto if he decides to get comfy on his lap again, but it might make him think twice at least. Naruto’s only wearing shorts, and all that naked skin isn’t good for his heart. It’s definitely too cold for it, but Naruto’s never been one to care about the weather.

“We already go places together.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same!”

Sasuke pinches his lips, looking away. If he’s not careful, those large blue eyes will convince him to cave in, and then he’ll find himself with a girlfriend. He does a lot for Naruto, but there are limits.

“I’m not going to ask her out,” he mutters, knowing it will only lead to more questioning.

Sure enough, Naruto makes a noise of protest.

“But you haven’t rejected her either!”

“She hasn’t asked me out either.”

“It’s obvious she likes you.”

“That’s her problem.”

Naruto kicks at his thigh, using his heel. He looks properly annoyed now, as if Sasuke is a petulant child, refusing to do what’s best for him.

“If you got over yourself for a minute, you’d realize what a catch she is!”

He doesn’t reply. Let Naruto think he’s just stubborn, or an asshole, or whatever. Let him think Sasuke’s just stringing her along, keeping her attention while refusing to commit. It’s better than the alternative.

“Leave it, Naruto,” he warns, getting up and moving to the kitchen. “We’re not talking about this.”

At least Naruto doesn’t follow him, though it doesn’t make much of a difference. The apartment is small, no wall separating the kitchen from the living room. He searches through his cabinets, locating a forgotten bag of wasabi peas. He throws them at Naruto’s head.

“Eat these and shut up,” he says.

To his relief, Naruto does as told.

xxx

He picks up the call from Karin half-distracted, mind still stuck on a question for tomorrow’s seminar. As usual, she doesn’t wait for him to say hi, making her wince with the volume of her voice.

“Do you have any idea how tiring it is to listen to Naruto whine about you?” she starts with, the background noise suggesting she’s outdoors. “Can’t you just tell him you’re gay and put me out of my misery.”

“No thanks.” He drops his pen on his desk, rubbing at his eyes. He regrets not going to the university library, at least then he wouldn’t have been able to pick up the call. “Was that all? I’m kind of busy.”

“You know, this is exactly why I moved away,��� she continues, ignoring him. “I thought I could get away from all the high school-level drama. Just get yourself a boyfriend, and go on those stupid double dates my cousin is so desperately yearning for. How hard can it be?!”

He can feel a headache incoming, and he rubs his fingertips between his brows. Naruto had sulked for hours the day before, until Sasuke got sick of it and threw him out. It was definitely backhanded of him to call Karin and complain.

“If you really wanted to be left out of it, why are you calling me? That’s the opposite of not getting involved.”

“Because it’s really painful and I’m morally obligated as the only person with functional brain cells to tell you to move on. Juugo’s too nice to say it and Suigetsu would give you terrible advice and sit back and watch. I’m being nicer to you than you deserve.”

“By telling me to move on,” Sasuke deadpans, wondering why his parents couldn’t have settled down somewhere else.

“Well, someone has to do it! Clearly I’m the gay cousin in the family, so you’re screwed. Might as well get over it and get laid.”

“I really hate you sometimes, you know that?”

She huffs at him, traffic and broken conversations filtering through the phone. There’s the jingle of a shop’s door, and the noise cuts off.

“Your pining is just getting sad,” she eventually replies, distractedly. “Trust me, I know my cousin. He’s not worth it.”

Something unpleasant churns in Sasuke’s stomach. He wants to argue with her that he is worth it, but he doesn’t want to land himself in an hour-long lecture if he can help it. He rolls his neck, making a face. She’s got a point, but he doesn’t enjoy hearing it. His life would be a lot simpler if he could find someone who made him forget about Naruto. He’s just not sure it’s fair to expect someone to instantly replace a lifetime of friendship.

“I don’t think I should have to come out just because Naruto irritates you,” is what he says instead, leaning back in his chair. “What if my parents find out and disown me? You want to be responsible for that?”

“Sasuke,” she sighs, “your brother is literally gay and your parents love his boyfriend.”

“So?”

“Stop. Making. Excuses.”

He bites his cheek, holding back a denial. He’s not worried about his parents, he’s worried about Naruto’s reaction. That things will change between them. That he’ll think Sasuke has feelings for him, which would be correct but would also ruin absolutely everything.

“I’ll… consider it,” he concedes, after a long silence, during which Karin has finished buying whatever it was she needed.

“Really? Because I’m going to hold you to that.”

He sighs.

“Next time I’m not picking up when you call me.”

xxx

A few weeks pass, and not much changes. Naruto still takes up too much space in his head and life, Sakura continues to drop hints but refuses to make the first move, and Hinata is still as lovely as ever. She doesn’t seem to have much of a personality other than being Naruto’s girlfriend, but to be fair Sasuke hasn’t precisely paid attention or tried to get to know her. Naruto’s birthday is drawing closer, and he can’t bring himself to do anything to break the status quo before then.

He’s been considering it, though. It would be a relief to stop pretending. He can’t imagine himself finding a boyfriend, though, because where would he even meet someone? It’s too awkward to use a dating app, and he’s not precisely social. He doesn’t have any experience, either, if you don’t count those childish games they played sometimes when they were younger. And that one time Naruto kissed him by accident when they were twelve.

Because of this, he’s really not expecting it when one day in class, just as the lecture ends, his eyes fall on the messenger bag that the guy next to him has just finished packing. There’s a rainbow pin on it, and Sasuke blurts out his question before he can stop to think about it.

“Are you gay?”

He only lifts his eyes from the pin when the surprised silence stretches out a bit too long. Their eyes meet, and the other boy is staring at him like he’s not sure how to react.

“Uh,” he says eventually, fingers clenching around the bag’s strap. “I mean, yes? But if you’re thinking about the pin it’s just a regular rainbow…”

He trails off, and Sasuke feels his cheeks heat up a bit. He can’t believe he just asked, when he himself has gone to such lengths to make sure no one made such assumptions about him.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s fine.”

Maybe he should know the guy’s name, but he doesn’t. He’s pretty short, hair dyed a light brown and glasses perched on his nose. Cute, but Sasuke’s not sure he’s his type. He’s not sure he has a type, other than Naruto.

“Are you gay?” the guy asks him, eyebrows rising above the frame of his glasses.

Sasuke licks his lips. He could say no, but to what end?

“I am,” he forces out, breathing in a deep breath.

“Oh.” There’s red color blooming on the other boy’s face, his eyes flickering to the side for a moment. “I was kind of hoping, but, um… I mean, hoping sounds weird! Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you to ask outright.”

When Sasuke stands up, he realizes he’s almost a head taller than him.

“I’m Sasuke,” he offers, clicking his laptop shut and slowly sliding it into his bag.

“I know. I mean! I’m Hiroshi. Nice to meet you.”

Sasuke nods, and awkwardly turns to leave. Hiroshi stops him with a hand to his arm, though, and Sasuke swallows nervously as the turns back. He’s not interested in Hiroshi, not really, but he’s never been asked out by a boy before and the novelty of the situation is getting to him.

“Do you, um, are you busy right now? We could have lunch?”

He weighs the pros and cons in his mind. As nervous as Hiroshi looks, there’s a determined glint in his eyes that sways Sasuke over.

“Okay,” he says, and just like that he’s doing what Karin told him to do.

He’s trying, at least.

xxx

Over the course of a week, including having coffee together and a visit to the aquarium, Sasuke learns a lot about Hiroshi. Or Hiro, as he likes his friends to call him. They don’t have too much in common, but they’re both gay and studying agricultural economics. Once Hiro gets over his initial shyness, Sasuke finds he’s got a great sense of humor and won’t hesitate to poke fun at him.

It’s a breath of relief, to spend time with someone who doesn’t know him from before. He didn’t realize how much he needed it – just being able to be himself, without constantly keeping himself in check.

He can’t fool himself to think it’s enough to replace Naruto, but maybe he doesn’t need to replace him. Maybe it’s enough that Hiro seems to like him. He doesn’t really think about it, when he invites Hiro over on a Saturday night, after they’d had dinner at a nice udon place.

“Oh, wow,” Hiro says as he steps into Sasuke’s apartment, making an impressed face. “Nice place.”

“It’s my cousin’s, so no need to sound so impressed.”

Hiro rolls his eyes, taking off his shoes and jacket and following Sasuke inside.

“Alright, I’ll try to keep it in,” he teases, sitting on the couch when Sasuke motions him towards it. “But it must be nice, to have your own place like this. The dorms are fine, but I can’t exactly bring guys there.”

Humming his agreement, Sasuke grabs two cans of soda from the fridge, handing one of them to Hiro when he sinks down on the couch next to him.

“Want to watch something?”

Hiro nods, and Sasuke brings the TV to life. He’s not expecting anything to happen – they’ve only known each other a week. He’s still coming to terms with having a friend other than Karin he can talk to like this, and she doesn’t really count since there was never the potential for anything to happen between them. Hiro is… potentially someone Sasuke could date. At least there’s nothing wrong with him, not yet, and Sasuke’s easing himself into the idea of getting to know him better.

He finds a movie at random, some sci-fi that doesn’t look terrible. The movie turns into background noise as they talk, Hiro’s eyes watching his face more than the screen. It’s nice, in a new, exhilarating way, to have a guy’s attention on him like this. He’s not sure what to do with it. When Hiro moves closer, knee touching Sasuke’s thigh, hand resting on the back of the couch and occasionally touching his neck, Sasuke can’t find it in him to move away.

It feels like a secret, shared between the two of them. He thinks of Naruto for a long moment, allows himself the pain lacing through his chest as he imagines light brown hair replaced with blond, dark eyes replaced with blue. Then, he pushes it away, tells himself he can have this. The emotions are only his own.

It’s all happening too fast when Hiro grows bold, leaning in to press their mouths together, but he doesn’t care. It’s no one’s business if he spends the evening on his couch with a boy in his lap, a boy who isn’t his best friend.

The pain is easier to swallow if he tells himself that he’s the only one hurt.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

heyya mom!! 😙

you'e a mother of two right? meaning you're actually a mom! 💅

so i guess this is the perfect time to ask about some parent stuff...feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna answer this though!! 🥺this might be long anyways

so um..first off, is it okay for a parent to threaten a child?

one time i was on vacation with my family, but i wasn't in the mood to swim in the hotel pool.

my mom, misunderstanding the situation, thought i just wanted to get away from everyone and not spend time with my family. so she got mad and threatened to drag me in the pool.

my dad had to add to the mix by taking a video to humiliate me (he said he'd send it to my school, and i would get my reputation ruined bc i'm class president and a batch rep, which is a high position in my school) and told me not to cause a scene.

i got halfway into the pool, but they told me to go deeper or else they'd actually drag me in. (thank god they actually didn't, my parents are really harsh) i tried saying 'please' so much times, but they practically forced me. i cried the whole night, which made my eyes turn red and puffy the next morning.

everytime i think about it, i just try to believe it's my parents' way of discipline and i shouldn't bother..however part of me thinks it's wrong.

second, should a parent call their child names?

continuing from the current story, my dad humiliated me even more by calling me disrespectful, a chump, a kill-joy..and many more. those scarred my heart and everytime i hear those words i start to cry.

ever since that day, i can't forget those words and actions. everytime a relative asks 'how was it at the resort?' i simply nod saying it was okay, but i also feel sad and scared at the thought.

are my parents' doings right? or is there something they're doing that could or may have already affected me?

any answer is appreciated, mom 💗 i currently have no one to vent to besides my bestie and brother, so this is my best hope <3

Ok so first off, no child should even have to go through stuff like this.

I'm a mom, twice over and I'm by no means perfect. We all gave our faults and sometimes we get angry or get selfish and say things we don't mean but the point is that we apologize for them and own up to our mistakes.

That being said, you should never be made to do something you don't want to by force ever. That's crossing boundaries 100%. I don't care how old you are, you shouldn't be made to do something you don't want to do.

Secondly you shouldn't be called names by anyone let alone parents. I never understood the idea of parents taking their anger out on their children when they are the ones who brought their children into this world. Your primary goal as a parent is to love a nurture your child!

So I definitely don't agree with your parents method of parenting at all. I'm a person who is very loving and nurturing of my children. I guess gentle parenting would be the right term. I allow my kids to make mistakes, learn from them and we move on. I allow them to get angry at me and yell at me. Then we talk it out. People have emotions and you should never be taught to hide them or fear them.

Please never feel bad venting or coming here to share anything! My inbox is always open!! Im a writer but I'm also a support person ❤ I care about everyone of my followers and their wellbeing!

Xoxoxo

[megantheestalliongf]

ignore me bc I went on a self destructive spiral and refuse to speak about it to anyone irl but.

i searched for my abusive ex just to see how they were doing and if they were still alive and what happened in their life since we broke up and like. they’re doing so well and they look really happy and they got married last year and have a job they always wanted and im just. not doing well I haven’t been ok since we broke up I think and I told myself for a really long time that I was over it and moved on and dealt with it but now I don’t think I have bc like. I haven’t dated anyone in basically 5 years and I haven’t even liked anyone in 5 years like not even a single person. and when people have asked me out during this time i freak out and get so scared and say no immediately. and even the idea of being someone again is making me feel sick like wtf. And I’m not even angry anymore I don’t think I’m just sad bc they moved on w their life like nothing happened like they didn’t ruin my life for 1.5 years and created a nice life while im basically stuck where we left things 5 years ago. And it’s not anyone’s fault but mine that I never dealt w it in a real way and that I told myself I had moved on and was fine when I wasn’t. but idk it just really sucks to see someone who made u cry constantly and anxious until u were sick every day of the week and let u believe that theu were dead repeatedly for weeks and years w no remorse and put so much on u for 1.5 years doing so well when u aren’t. And I never got closure too is the thing like we broke up and then never spoke again and then 6 months later i realized how fucked up everything w them was and I shut down and that was that I guess. like I never got to tell them how I felt about what they did to me or how they treated me or what they put me through all that time. I was just in this terrible relationship one morning and then by that night I wasn’t anymore and I never dealt with that. And I know the closure iw and is never gonna happen bc 1. Im never gonna reach out anytime soon and 2. They would never reach out and apologize bc they didn’t think they did anything wrong and 3. That just isn’t how this works and I know that, bc even if I reached out and said my piece there is no guarantee they even respond and there is no guarantee that they say sorry and it’s fucking really likely too that they don’t. and for so long I just refused to talk about it like even “””casually””” to my friends if there is such a way. Like my friends didn’t even know their name until we had been friends for 2-3 years bc i just didn’t talk about it or was so vague w the details bc I couldn’t physically make myself say them. and that should have been another clue that I wasn’t as over it as I thought but. And u know maybe I am a little angry still bc how are they going to be doing so well after what they put me through like it never happened while im stuck 5 years ago in some ways. Like why do they get to have that while I feel like im gonna puke if someone even hints that they wanna take me out on a date. and every time I have tried to go to therapy for this like 3 times now something always happens and sometimes it’s my fault like the first time I literally just stopped going bc I was so scared and then the 2nd time I went to see this lady and she told me she couldn’t help me w my trauma bc that wasnf her specialty and sent me to another person but then covid happened after one session and I couldn’t do zoom therapy from my parents house bc they don’t know and I couldn’t do that. And that third time I was really ready to go and put in the work and deal w everything but then I just couldn’t and then I graduated college and those therapy services weren’t available to me anymore and now I don’t know how to do real therapy w my dads insurance and real money. And now that im sittjnf here thinking it’s not just romantic relationships this affects like it also affects my relationships w my friends. Im not getting into that here bc I will really cry over that but it’s def not just romantic relationships or even potential ones. Like my attachment style is so avoidant now and idk if that’s even how it works.

Anyways I’m about to fucking cry so I’m gonna stop but what a fucking realization tonight huh

[rocketink]

SUMMER SNOW

In which you confess to your summer crush on a hot july night that you’ve never seen the snow.

pairing: mingyu x reader

Words: 1.5+K

Genre: fluffy + friends to lovers

Warnings: none I think. English is not my first language so apologies!! I needed to cuddle and this was the result get me a boyfriend so I can stop writing about my fantasies, please

A/N: Uploading this bc I can’t stand this blog being inactive and I’m planning more things so I need to let this fic go already haha

Whenever people fought over "what is better? Summer vs. Winter edition" you always said summer. Summer to you was special because it meant much more than hot weather for 3 months, beaches, and pools. To you, it meant a getaway. Summer was when you left the polluted air from the gray town you usually live in to go to your grandmother's town, lost somewhere in South Korea but also next to the coast. It meant three months of partying with friends you only see in summer, with those cousins that live far away that visit your grandmother too, and also Mingyu.

Kim Mingyu was always there. Despite looking like he could buy the entire town and spend his holidays at a luxury hotel in New York at the same time. Mingyu is just as poor as the rest of us, mortals, but the way he carefully chooses his clothes, the way he keeps his hair swept back, and, of course, his breathtaking smile makes him look like a young millionaire. He laughs every time you tell him that. Mingyu has been your summer friend ever since you were kids. When summer finally arrives you know it's time to spend all three months with the person you cherish the most and do all sorts of things together, and of course your favorite plan:

"Shall we go stargazing?" He usually asks, two blankets under his right arm and one basket in his left hand.

"Oh, yes, please." You always say.

Stargazing is supposed to be a soft, entertaining activity to do with your friends, right? But how can you do anything soft and cute with Mingyu without risking selling your heart to the most perfect person you've ever met? You don't know the answer to that because your heart has belonged to Mingyu for a while now. It began as a small crush, something you were sure would fade when you go back to your hometown. When you were about to get rid of your feelings, summer came again, and his presence woke up the butterflies within you. At some point, you stopped pretending you had no feeling for the silly boy just because you weren't seeing him during the year.

However, last year’s third day of September made a difference between you two.

It happened while stargazing.

"Don't you think stargazing is not as fun as when we were kids?" He asked.

"It is a bit different now, I guess. Two twenty-two years old do different things. I still enjoy spending time like this with you though." You answered truthfully, and almost fainted at the last part.

Just why did you say that?

"I enjoy it too. You are the only reason why I spend summers here."

"Are you saying that you like me more than Seoul?" You joked.

"Could be, or maybe is because Seoul is beautiful in winter but unbearable in summer, so I just settle for you." You made a face and he laughed. "It's because of the snow, Seoul looks like a romance film in winter."

"It snows there?" You felt your eyes sparkling. "Woah I've never seen the snow in real life."

"Really? Well it's fun at first, but don't get so excited you get used to it after a while and it's not as amazing."

"I just want to make a snowball and throw it to your face, I'll be satisfied just with that." He pretended to be offended and tried to tickle you in revenge, but somehow he ended on top of you and his face approached yours dangerously. You thought you were going to faint.

"Then let's make a deal."

"Surprise me."

"You give me something I really want this summer and next summer I'll bring a jar with some snow on the inside, okay?"

"What type of deal is that?" You would have laughed at his face if he had stopped approaching, but your faces were just a few centimeters apart. "Mingyu, it will melt."

"We can try."

"I'm getting nothing out of this deal, I won't have snow next year."

"How many excuses should I make up just to kiss you?"

"None Mingyu, just go for it" And just like that, his lips covered yours and you melted in a soft kiss.

That was the best night you'd had for a very long time, but you barely enjoyed it because the next day Mingyu was gone and the last thing you knew about him was a message he left to your grandmother: to tell you he suddenly had to leave to Seoul because of some family issues.

22 years of knowing the boy and still you never got his phone number.

The only thing you know is that September is not September without Mingyu.

"Are you still thinking of the summer guy?" Your mother asked you in December. You simply nodded. She didn't know Mingyu but she did know what your grandmother tells her about him, and the last thing your grandmother knew about Mingyu is that deep inside he didn't want to leave so suddenly and without warning you himself. He looked regretful and heartbroken.

This time, it was harder to forget about Mingyu, but you are not sure if you tried enough. You actually thought about him more. You aren't sure if he regrets the kiss or if he wants you or even if he just did it for the thrill of the moment (even if Mingyu is not like this, he wouldn't cross that line, risking to lose a friend). You just want to talk and end your suffering. But when June came once again, you are not sure if you are ready.

You see each other again on the first night of July, later than expected. At this point, you thought that Mingyu wasn't going to spend his summer in town and you kept a sad face for an entire month. He took you by surprise, you were stargazing on your own at your usual spot on top of your grandmother's house.

"Hi y/n." You almost choke on your spit.

"Mingyu?"

"Before you say anything, I've brought you a little something, and you have to see it right now."

"Uhm, okay?" He wastes no time and opens his basket. He pulls a small jar filled to the top with something white.

He gives it to you, and the first thing you notice is that it is icy.

"Open it." He encourages you.

It feels weird, and it melts right when you touch it.

"You've brought me snow?" You can barely find your voice.

"Well, I tried. Do you know how hard it was to keep it as snow and not water or ice? My parents were so worried that his son had lost his mind. Now, make that snowball and throw it to my face." He sounds more amused than he should.

You try, but every second that passes it becomes more watery and you are not sure if you can even grab it. You throw what you manage to keep in your hand to him, and he laughs and hisses at the sudden cold contact.

"It's very nice for the summer to be honest." He laughs.

"Our deal is done now, is it?" You don't even know why you bring it back, memories from that night come to your mind and you wonder even if it was real.

"I'm sorry I left so suddenly."

"Oh no, that's fine, is everyone okay?" You ask, concerned.

"Yes, everyone is fine now. Our house wasn't, we almost got robbed that day, but everything is fine now" You sigh in relief and he smiles softly.

Kim Mingyu if you don't stop right now... You think to yourself.

"I actually was wondering something."

"Okay then, surprise me once again." You want to stop making references to that night but you just can't.

He seems to catch the reference and smiles widely. He grabs a little piece of paper from his front right pocket and gives it to you, still with his signature puppy smile on his face.

It says 'Mingyu's mobile phone, for future inconveniences’

"I realized this winter that I don't want to spend another nine months without hearing from you. It was thrilling at first but it's not anymore. Call me anytime you want, actually just call me, please." His cheeks are tinted with a light shade of red and you feel yours burning.

"And I was also wondering if you'd like to visit me for Christmas in Seoul? You can stay at my house if you want to and we could spend more time together. Summer is not enough for me." Your heartbeat accelerates and you feel yourself nodding without thinking. "Great! I have so many things I'd like to show you. I want to take a walk with you in Seoul if it snows, and we can make snowmen and you can properly throw me snowballs if you feel like it. We can skate on thin ice and get hot chocolate and eat sweets and..."

He stops suddenly and you can tell he feels embarrassed.

"I guess I just want to do all the romantic things couples do at Christmas movies... I guess I just want to properly date you."

This time you are the one to initiate the kiss and all your worries of not being on the same page with Mingyu that you've had for almost ten months dissipate as he deepens the kiss and holds you tighter.

[tteokggukk]

coffee rings → kth

✳ pairing: kim taehyung x deceased reader

✳ genre: angst, triggering themes, post-split au

✳ warnings: taehyung is grieving, major character death, mentions of a car accident and someone passing away

✳ summary: it’s been a year since you and taehyung went your separate ways, but today’s your birthday and he misses you more than ever. though he never really liked coffee, he drinks them now because it reminds him of you. to pass the time, he heads over to your favorite coffee shop at one in the morning. what he did not expect, however, was to see you walking in, smiling at him.

✳ words: 1.7k

✳ a/n: it’s sad but this idea just popped up in my head so i wanted to write about it because!! i miss writing HAHAHA pls enjoy (or don’t, bc it’s supposed to be sad so it’s okay not to enjoy it). 

It’s one in the morning and Taehyung couldn’t sleep. Ironically, he was supposed to be in bed trying to doze off but he now found himself sitting inside an empty 24-hour coffee shop—your favorite coffee shop, sipping on an Iced Americano he was forcing himself to drink. He never really liked coffee, but nowadays it brought him a feeling of comfort and nostalgia that he began relying on it to keep him sane.

It’s been a year since you two went your separate ways, yet here he was, staring at the entrance of the shop and hoping you’d walk in and talk to him.

You were always the type of person to leave the apartment at any given time of the night to grab a quick snack from this café. When you and Taehyung were living together, you’d often go out and buy pastries while Taehyung waited outside because he used to hate the smell of coffee. Though he never acquired a taste for it, he learned to love the scent because it reminded him so much of you.

Maybe, just maybe, you’d walk in right now at this time like you used to.

Even if he knew it was impossible for you to walk in right now, he waited. He held onto the small chance of seeing you once again. He wanted so badly to talk to you, to feel safe through your touch, and to find a peace of mind. You were his happy pill, the only person capable of making him feel better, and right now not having you around gave him the worst withdrawal from you. He hasn’t been the same since you separated.

All he wanted was to see you.

Imagine his surprise when the café’s entrance opened and you walked in.

Your eyes immediately met and all he could think of was how you looked exactly the same as the last time he saw you. You were just as beautiful and just as glowing. Your eyes looked so bright and alive even at one in the morning, and your lips, god, how he missed the feeling of your soft lips on his. His eyes scanned your whole body before he landed on your hands—the hands that always made him feel at ease.

He watched as you walked over to his table and sat in front of him, a warm smile on your face. He wanted to wrap himself around you right now, but he was too shocked to move from his seat.

“Can’t sleep?” You asked. Taehyung only shakes his head.

“Don’t you think it’s a bad idea to hang out in a coffee shop, then?” You laughed. His chest began to hurt at how much he missed your laugh. It was like hearing an old favorite song he hadn’t heard in so long because it brought back too much memories.

“I guess,” Taehyung had to choke out his words just to start talking, “But the place is oddly comforting.”

A small, sympathetic smile forms on your face. Taehyung looked… different. His eyes that were once enchanting and welcoming now looked tired and puffy, the brightness in them gone. His mouth, which always used to be upturned into a friendly smile were now straight and expressionless. He looked worn-out, but despite everything he still looked beautiful in your eyes.

“Since when did you start drinking Iced Americanos?” You asked.

“Since you left,” He admits.

“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it, Tae...”

“I do, because it reminds me of you.”

“Isn’t it best to start moving on?” You asked.

“If you were in my place, do you think you could move on that easily?” He asks, turning his hands into fists to prevent the tears from falling on his face. You watched as he held himself back.

“I’m sorry,” You apologized. There was a brief silence between you two before Taehyung continued. He turns his head down, immediately recognizing this habit of his that he always did before he started crying.

“I miss you, ___. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you,” The hurt was evident in his voice now. You didn’t say anything, you thought it best to let him clear his head.

“I don’t even like coffee, but you always smelled like coffee so now I’m used to drinking it just to remind myself of when you were with me,” He continued, “I wanted to live my life with you… I imagined my future with you…”

Tears began dripping on your face, but your expression remained calm. Taehyung’s breathing gradually turned heavy, it was long before his eyes turned red as his tears soaked his face. He wished you would wipe them dry, but he knew you couldn’t do that.

“It’s been a year, ___,” He sniffed, “It’s been a year since the car accident, and I thought I was beginning to forget you.”

“But earlier today, I was with your parents,” He continued, “I still keep in contact with them every month, just to see how they’re doing. They asked me to celebrate your birthday with them.”

“How are they?” You asked.

“They’re healthy and they’re doing fine, but I don’t think they’re feeling any better than I am,” He sobbed, “And I told them everything.”

“Told them what?”

“I told them about what my plans were with you, how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…” Taehyung was sobbing uncontrollably now. The cashier stared at him in concern.

“I miss you, ___. I miss you so much, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over you. Sometimes I see you in the apartment, sitting on the couch. Other times I see you at the library you used to visit often, and you’re just there reading all your favorite books. Sometimes, you’re in the faces of strangers I see every day, always just a few inches away but I can never bring myself to get close. And I know you’re not really there, but I can’t stop picturing you everywhere.”

“Taehyung,” he watched as you leaned forward to place your hand on his, “You have to let me go.”

“How can I let you go when I still love you?” He wanted to grip your hand tight. He wanted to keep you here with him, but he couldn’t.

“And I’m always going to love you, but you need to accept that I’m not here anymore. I love you too much to see you suffering like this, you have to let me go,” you pleaded.

“___…”

“You can start by taking that out of your pocket,” Your eyes glide over the inner pocket of his jacket, and Taehyung’s breath hitches for a moment. You smile at him, letting him know that you’re aware of what he’s been carrying with him all this time. An item he’s always kept so close to his chest— to his heart.

He takes out the box, the box he’s been preparing for more than over a year now, the box that he waited for so long to kneel down on one knee with to present to you. Now all he could do was take it out without doing all those things and saying all those words he imagined he’d do when he proposed to you. His heart aches as he opens the box, the diamonds on the engagement ring shining right before him. There’s a weight that leaves his chest the moment he sets the ring on the table.

“Carrying that forever will only make it impossible to move on,” You told him.

You were right, he thought. Though it pained him to know he had to let you go for real now, he also couldn’t help but think of how this was what you wanted for him.

Memories of you and him together began playing in his head. The first time you met, all the ups and downs you two shared, him picking out an engagement ring and realizing the ring on the table in front of him was “the one”—to the night he got a call about your accident.

“I’ll never stop loving you, ___,” He whispered.

“I’ll always be watching over you. I want you to be happy, Taehyung, and if that means finding someone new, then it’s all right with me,” You smiled at him. His eyes were still full of tears, but he felt much calmer. Taehyung looks down and nods, wiping the tears off his face.

The ice in the Iced Americano has melted, diluting the drink. One of the café’s staff member approaches Taehyung and hands him water, courtesy of the cashier who noticed Taehyung crying. Taehyung thanks the staff and sips on the water before asking them to dispose of the iced Americano he could no longer drink.

“You never liked Iced Americanos anyway,” You breathed a laugh, and Taehyung just smiles.

“Namjoon will be here any minute,” You tell him, making Taehyung look back at you. How did you know?

“I just figured,” You grinned.

Sure enough, you were right. A few minutes later, Taehyung noticed Namjoon walking outside the café, trying to find where he was seated inside. When Taehyung meets his eyes, Namjoon starts making his way inside with a concerned look on his face.

“I’d better go,” You told Taehyung.

“What?” Taehyung’s eyes shifted from Namjoon to you.

“Take care, Taehyung. Please be healthy, and be happy,” you smiled at him one last time.

“Taehyung!” Namjoon called, catching Taehyung’s attention. When he looked back at where you were seated, you already disappeared. You were really gone.

“Who were you talking to?” Namjoon asks.

“I… no one,” Taehyung mutters, “How’d you know I was here?”

Namjoon gives him an understanding look, “It was her birthday.”

“Oh,” Taehyung nods and looks down.

“Come on, let’s get you home, alright?” Namjoon takes Taehyung’s arm and helps him up. He offers to drive Taehyung and already asked the others to come over to help him feel better. Taehyung just smiles, feeling thankful to have his friends with him.

Once they exit the café, Taehyung looks back one last time to see if you would be right there watching him leave. All he saw was an empty café.

“Goodbye, ___, and thank you,” He whispers.

He was going to be okay, he thought, everything was going to be okay. He might not be okay soon, but in time he’ll allow himself to heal. The previous heaviness he used to feel was no longer there and was replaced by a lighter feeling of relief and acceptance. Namjoon and Taehyung both drive away in silence, and Taehyung doesn’t look back once.

The engagement ring sits left behind on the café’s table, finally freeing Taehyung.

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[zuzu-hotman]

Ready To Love Pt.2 [[Zuko]]

Pairing: Zuko x Female!Reader

Warnings: More angst??? Dark-ish imagery?

A/N: Uh so I got asks for more??? I want you all to know most of my works are angst- but I live for good ends so dw (; I’ll link the first part after posting bc tungle is dumb. Anyways, probably gonna do a third cause there’s a bit more I want to do with this and I don’t want too much at once <3

Pt.1

�� Hᴇʏ, ᴡɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ?”

Seeing him again was like adding salt to deep wounds- rubbing the coarse grains deep into gashes, open and bleeding. You kind of hated that it hurt so bad- you were supposed to be over it. You were supposed to be completely done with him. With all remnants of him. His choice was clear- the truth was laid out bare for your eyes to see.

He was not who you thought he was. He was not the Zuko you knew in your mind- and maybe he never was.

No one who had once worn a kind smile could look like he did that day, right? There was no way someone like that could just... lose all sense of themselves? That look he held- the crazed fire in his eyes.. how those flames should have touched you- burned you. Perhaps Zuko was not as skilled as Azula. He didn’t bend the way she did, but that didn’t make him any less powerful. He had good aim- he knew you’d find it hard to even try to make an attack on him. He could’ve used that against you- it’s what Azula would have done.

You assumed that if he could so easily turn into Azula’s direction.. he’d be able to be as cruel as her. That he’d use your weakness to him against you. You felt the heat of his flames, you knew they could have scorched you. You weren’t that accustomed to fighting yet. For a long time you had suppressed your bending- scared of what it might bring you and what it meant for your future.

You came to regret that eventually. You could have told your parents- your Father could have shown you so much..

Fate was absolutely cruel- you firmly believed this now. She had no right to harm you like this- to drag you through the mud, already beaten down and tired.

She allowed him the chance to be in this group. You wanted to object, violently so. It wasn’t your place to though. Your personal ties to him had no place stopping him from teaching Aang about fire bending. The Avatar needed to know all four elements to bring balance. It was important to Aang’s journey and to putting an end to this long war.

That didn’t make you despise it any less. Hatred or anger- which was it you felt?

“Please talk to me..”

His quiet plea fell upon your ears in the dead of night, long after everyone else had retired to their own spaces. You had suspected he’d find his way to you soon- someway or somehow. With no one else around to bear witness. You hated how you froze in place- how all that anger just fizzled into nothing at the sound of him. So sad- so lonely. You were his only link to his former self, to who he should have become. A tiny string stuck on it’s last thin thread. You didn’t know that however. t’s not as if that was his only reason for reaching for you like this, and that you didn’t know of as well. You were in the dark on his feelings.

As you assumed you always had been.

“___, please..”, he whispers once more when he gets no response.

You make sure to keep your breathing even, to not move at all. Give him an inch and he’d probably take miles. Miles upon miles- stretch you until you break into tiny pieces. Yet some small pieces would still yearn- crave for what your brain told you not to. 

You hear his breath hitch a bit, as if he’s fighting back overpowering emotions- him? The glorious crown prince who had slain the Avatar? The prince who turned a blind eye to you, to his good Uncle? The audacity- and yet you felt no actual anger. Not when he spoke.

“I- I’m so-- ___ I’m so sorry. I know that’s not enough. I know it will never be enough- I was wrong. I did everything so wrong and Uncle- I’m sure he hates me. I’m sure you do too. I never meant- I thought it was my destiny to.. to.. capture him. For my honor and my nation. I thought I was right and..”, he takes in a shaky breath. You’re glad you can’t see him. His face just might break you. “I hurt you. I hurt Uncle. I-I made you not trust me- I disappeared and I never responded to any of your letters- I still have them I- I don’t know.. I don’t have a reason or any excuse I just.. please. Please at least talk to me- say something! Anything! I’ve missed you- I was miserable- it’s not home.. not without you. I made mistakes even there I.. even she told me that I was wrong.. even..” and he trails off, gaining no response.

Little did he know he was close to getting one. She? He didn’t mean Azula.. he would have said her name. You hated how your chest burned- what mistakes could he make there? At home? No- not home. Not your home.

“...You’re sleeping.. I hope. I almost got loud. I’m..”, he sucks in a breath, “Okay. Another time.”

You choose to ignore the way he sniffs- knowing all too well it meant he’d shed tears. If you acknowledge it, you know what may happen. You know how it’d go- how weak you’d be. This isn’t how it should be, you should be able to ignore him without batting an eye. He should be able to just let you go. He’d already done so. What was the use in this? Hadn’t he decided already, who he was or at the least who you were to him?

Clearly nothing-

You let out a heavy breath, almost shudderingly so when you hear his footsteps fade away. You clench your eyes shut, banishing any trace of wetness from your eyes. No no no- you would not cry. Not again, and not anymore. Remember how he looked- remember those crazed eyes and harsh blasts of fire. Remember and hold it- no apology could fix it. Not so simply. It would take much more than words because.. you weren’t sure your aching heart could take much more of it..

Morning came quickly, with no remorse to any who had not slept in her absence. Specifically to you or Zuko. Luckily enough, you hid it well enough. Zuko? Not so much. Clearly he looked like he’d had a fitful sleep.

Hmph-

“Wow. I didn’t know it was possible for you to look even angrier than usual.”, Sokka pipes up, already at his usual antics of antagonizing the newest group member.

“Shut. Up.”, Zuko hisses in response, causing Aang and Toph to laugh a bit at his expense.

“You really should sleep. Set a good example for your new student.”

“I said shut up.”

“He is kinda right, you know.”, Toph adds in, “It’s not good to be up so late.”

Zuko freezes for a moment, but says nothing else. You’d almost forgotten- Toph was very attuned to the earth. Of course she’d know if anyone was up and moving. The only thing to question was if she’d heard him. At the time though, there would be no answer to it. He wouldn’t ask and she didn’t seem keen on pressing the issue. No one else was aware either. So it just faded into silence, not spoken of. It was replaced by Zuko barking at Aang that it was time to start his training.

“I lost my stuff.”, he says it so plainly. Uninvited and without any context.

“Wasn’t me.”

Zuko makes a face, “No I mean my bending- I don’t know I..”

You decide to tune him out, spacing away from his frustration and Katara’s laughter. Was he really that out of it? He suddenly couldn’t bend? What a load of garbage. If he expected you to feel bad, you didn’t. Not even the slightest. Serves him right for the look he gave you when he learned of your bending. When he saw the element of fire was not in you to control, but-

“___” , He speaks your name softly.

You look up to where he stands, a few feet away. You hadn’t noticed everyone else had already gone to bed. It was just you and him and the dwindling fire between you.

“I-”

“Goodnight.”, you say, starting to stand up, brushing your legs off.

“Wait-”, he gently grabs the sleeve of your shirt but you push his hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” You don’t look at him- you can’t. You must remain strong- don’t do what you did in Ba Sing Se. Don’t fall into that hole a second time..

“At least hear me out- get mad all you want. Scream at me- hit me I don’t care just-”

“I’m not going to do that. You made your bed. Lie in it.”

“I did, you’re right. I did and I’m so-”

“Don’t apologize. Teach Aang bending. I’m not a part of this- none of them know I knew you, which clearly I didn’t. I never did. I know you as this guy I bumped into in Ba Sing Se. This guy that I thought I was nice and had a good heart but I guess I misjudged. Maybe he just feels guilty or that apologizing to me might right his wrongs or whatever. If this is your way of getting them to trust you more, I’ll allow it. Anything to help Aang.”, you speak as calmly as you can. Not sparing a glance, “You already made your choices- you already let me go so just-”

“I don’t want to let you go though- I never wanted to. I just- I thought I was right. I thought that.. you’d come home. I thought that that was still home. I was wrong. I was so wrong-”

“Yet you still stayed, huh?”, you say, bitterly now, “You had a little life out there- you had your glory. Had the nation at your feet. The crown prince who slayed the-”

“I’m not that person! I never was!”

“You seemed to think you were! You acted the part! You were there for well over a month!”, you looked at him now, eyes burning, “You weren’t sorry enough to come back earlier! You didn’t think enough- you didn’t care enough! You were gone for three years! You never replied- I lost my Father! I lost what I thought was home and you weren’t there! I find you in Ba Sing Se- acting like no time had passed! Like we never grew apart! You talk to me like you still knew me, like you still cared! Yet you still chose to do what you did!”

He’d shrunk back a bit, shocked at the bass in your voice- how heavily it weighed on him. He didn’t know you felt all that. He had no idea..

“Your Father-?”

“Don’t.”, you hiss, quieting down, now aware you might have stirred the others from their sleep, “Don’t even. Don’t come to me with any apologies unless you really mean it- unless you’re ready to tell all you have to tell. I’m done with secrets and lies. Good night.”

You walk off now, leaving him to stand by the dying fire. His hand feels cold- his chest aches- your Father? That man he’d seen love you so happily- the home that was worn down but well loved? Gone? How had you suffered so without him even knowing- what had happened to you in his absence?

Why hadn’t he even thought of it?

How did he manage to screw up a screw up?

Zuko groaned to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, “...what would Uncle have me do- what’s right..”

How to salvage this mess?

“Mʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ ɪs ᴀ sʜɪᴘᴡʀᴇᴄᴋs ғʟᴏᴏʀ..”

Pt.3