#if anyone wants it ill unprivate it

[eggsplice]

a c!tommy icon for a spotify playlist i made !

[thetickleeraven]

this blog will probably go private within this year (maybe ill push it to 2025, well see)

again, if you want my fics forever >>> my ao3 is here <<<

once this blog is private, it will not be unprivated. only i will be able to see it as i will not share the password with anyone.

ALL MY FICS WILL REMAIN ON AO3 INDEFINETELY SO IF YOU WANT ACCESS TO THEM FOREVER, BOOKMARK THAT ACCOUNT

[svt-chanel]

hiii!! sorry for the random ask (and you could totally private reply to this too), i found your blog from a friend, and i noticed that the fc of chanel is mina (lover her btw), but you listed her nationality as australian-korean-vietnamese. No hate or anything, but since mina is japanese and not of korean blood, and while you also listed her as chan's half sister (which chan is full korean ethnicity wise and korean-aussie nationality wise), it comes off as a little weird. Having her as hanni's (who is 100% viet ethnicity wise and aus-viet nationality) half sister also comes off as a little confusing too. This is kind of like ethnobending, so I just wanted to let you know. You can totally keep her fc as mina, but it would be nice to change up the nationality or to not have her as chan's half sister and hanni's half sister. I hope this doesn't come off as rude or hate, I just want to help a fellow addition out!! I do love the little antics and posts you make about chanel, but I wanted to bring this up. Hope this finds you well <3 If you have any other questions feel free to shoot me a dm and I can clarify/explain more if needed!

hihi!! I decided to private reply to this but I'll unprivate it if anyone else will need clarification about this! Yes I understand that Mina is Japanese but I made Chanel Viet-Aussie-Kor. I did do this intentionally because I

Couldnt find any viet idols that were older (like older than hanni or were popular)

I wanted something unique!

Chanel is a very unique character with her personality and her family! At first she was only gonna be Viet-Aussie but I kept on changing Chanel wether it was from her fc to her nationality/ethnicity. I made her Korean even though mina has no Korean blood because Chan however does have Korean blood and was also born there but raised in Australia. Idk if I've said this one her profile or anywhere else before but she's Korean because she has Korean blood and was born there (the Korean blood comes from her/chan's mother) and the thing is her backstory is rhat her mother and father met in Korea (before her + chan's birth) in high-school and even had a relationship with each other until in college they broke up cuz she cheated on him with Jack (Chan's father). Years later during 1997 Jessica (Chan's/Chanel's mother) is already pregnant with Chan (and she doesn't know) but Jessica and Her Father meet again in Korea while he was on vacation there and then they...yk (I heard u can actually get pregnant with twins by different fathers if u have...yk while ur pregnant) and then after that Chan + Chanel were born and yeah! And then ofc later Hanni was born by her mother bur Chanel's father which makes all 3 of them Half siblings.

I chose Mina as her fc because at first I didn't know what I wanted for Chanel and didn't plan anything out for her yet at the time but I saw Mina and was like "She's an underrated faceclaim plus she's pretty and gives off a elegant vibe." (The vibe I kinda wanted Chanel to give off at the time) I knew Mina is Japanese but just ignored it at the time and hoped nobody gave me problems with it!! (Whoch btw u haven't its just a question!) And I knew this question would come some day but didn't expect it to come this quickly. But yeah! I'll probably either change her fc (sigh again) or change her nationality cuz I PERSONALLY think the Hanni, Chan, and Chanel as half-siblings is really cool or ill just have one of them as her full sibling (which will most likely be chan). Or I'll just save it for a different oc or just delete her entirely and make a different Svt addition.

But either way I really appreciate that you like the antics of Chanel that I post about! (More ade coming from the drafts soon!!) And ofcourse I will and maybe in the future we can become friends!

-xx love Akuma/Woo

[oh-austin]

Priv gf but with an Austin baby Lmao I feel like he would come out with knives if someone posted pictures of his kid 😭

I’m gonna make this a part of the priv!girlfriend series, because I LOVE dad!austin and I LOVE priv!girlfriend. Thank you for sending this in ❤️

private girlfriend / part three

social media masterlist

February, 2025

liked by austinbutler, florencepugh and 737 others

yourinstagram keeping busy 💙💗

view all comments

florencepugh you’re glowing x

yourfriend2 such a stunner

austinbutler you’re so beautiful mamas, I love you so much

↳ yourinstagram I love you aus

zendaya get it girl

↳ yourinstagram heart still races when you comment on my posts 🫶🏼🫶🏼

↳ zendaya always x

yourfriend so pretty

liked by austinfan6 and 6397 others

austinupdates austin via Instagram stories!

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austinfan7 he cares about her privacy and we should too, everyone say it with me!!

austinfan9 Y/N content is great content

austinfan10 two years ago someone fucked up and Y/N said see you never 👎🏼

↳ austinfan9 queen shit

liked by timotheechalamet, tomholland1996 and 467,892 others

austinbutler my girls

view all comments

austinfan11 austin is treating us with y/n content

austinfan17 he needs spell check badly

yourinstagram 💗

austinfan21 y/n content!!!!!

austinfan24 I love logging on for the first time in months and seeing y/n on my tl makes me so happy

ashleytisdale 💗💗💗💗💗

austinfan27 austin there is one person in this photo

↳ austinbutler incorrect

↳ austinfan29 flowers don’t count 🤦‍♀️

↳ yourinstagram 👀

liked by austinbutler, ashleytisdale and 279,378 others

yourinstagram unprivating my account for now to share some amazing news: austin and I are expecting our first little love later this year. thank you for respecting my privacy for the last few years, I really do appreciate it and I now feel like I am at a place where I feel comfortable and want to share this journey with you all 💗 but pretty please continue to respect my privacy now that I have opened up, I would (and bubs would) really appreciate it x

view all comments

austinfan31 MY GIRLS, HE MEANT Y/N AND THEIR FREAKING KID

austinfan36 this is not what I expected to see on my feed!!! and I’m not upset!!!!! Congratulations 🎉

florencepugh AHHHHHHH 💗💐 SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH

austinbutler 💗💗 you were made to be a mother, so proud to be your family

↳ yourinstagram I love you

↳ austinfan37 GUYS STOP ILL CRY

austinfan41 RESPECT HER PRIVACY LOSERS, DONT RUIN THIS FOR US

austinfan44 if anyone fucks this up for us I will actually un*live myself

austinfan47 all the pics of y/n being taken from the back or in baggy clothes makes sense now 😭😭

↳ austinfan49 they played us fr 🥲

tomholland1996 you’re a superhero 🦸‍♀️ congratulations to you both!

↳ austinfan50 says spiderman

austinfan51 I’m hyperventilating so bad rn

bazlurhman congratulations! you both will be such great parents 💗

↳ austinbutler 💗💗💗

austinfan53 Y/N IS BACK!!! BEST DAY EVER

yourinstagram crying at all this love 🥹 thank you everyone

[chelledoggo]

Coming Clean

The past few days for me have been...eventful, to say the least.

But it's a new day, I've cooled down from the panic, and am ready to make my final, no-BS statement on this whole controversy. I feel like it needs to be done, and a few tweets on the subject isn't enough.

CW: Transphobia, Ableism, Suicide, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Depression, Rape and Murder mentions

On Sunday, July 12, 2020, I made a meme and posted it to Twitter. Essentially, the meme was comparing issues of mainstream trans and nonbinary people (being killed, being raped, being made fun of, being denied health care under Trump, etc...) to the online xenogender community, a community which I had not previously properly educated myself on.

Xenogenders, as I understand now, are gender identities that are used by some people, typically neurodivergent people, because they feel that these terms describe their gender identity better than the predetermined labels that are more commonly used. (cis, trans, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, etc.) These identities are often based on unconventional factors, such as aesthetics, creatures, mythical beings, natural phenomena, and so on, and often use pronouns specially coined to compliment them.

In the meme, I depicted a very unflattering stereotype of xenogender youth, and used some tasteless terminology to describe how they present their developed gender identity to the world.

I won't bullshit you anymore. Here is the meme. (CW for Transphobia and Ableism; Rape and Murder mentions)

I posted it to Twitter, closed out, and took a nap. I didn't expect much to come out of it except for a few likes and retweets. I was obviously very wrong.

When I woke up and pulled up Twitter again, I was greeted to my notifications being flooded with replies upset by what I'd posted. Many of them were calling me out for ableism and transphobia. Some of them were just flinging insults and mocking me for my age/appearance/etc. Some of them were just fancams.

I'd finally seen the true impact of my actions.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a fear of angering others or becoming hateful and ignorant. I would never want to intentionally hurt innocent people, especially those of marginalized groups such as the trans and nonbinary communities. And as someone who is neurodivergent herself, I certainly wouldn't want to be willfully ableist. I've faced ableism in one form or another for my entire life.

People could also tell you that for pretty much my entire life, I've suffered with mental illnesses. I've been professionally diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD, and bipolar disorder. As such, I'm prone to panic attacks, outbursts, and suicidal ideation when under extreme distress.

As soon as I saw all the anger and hurt I'd caused, I started spiraling into a severe panic attack. I didn't realize how much this meant to a lot of people. A lot of young, neurodivergent people.

I felt like the scum of the earth. I fucked up, just like I've fucked up and made people hate me so many times before in the past. This is my life. Acting without thinking, and then unintentionally hurting people.

I immediately deleted the tweet and made an admittedly hasty apology.

When I'm in this state, however, I don't think clearly. My immediate reaction was that I was just too much of a fuck-up to go on living. I made a tweet saying I wanted to kill myself without any thought as to how that might be interpreted as guilt-tripping after I fucked up instead of taking responsibility.

Again, I was called out on it. So I deleted my suicidal tweets, too.

I then started posting tweet after tweet after tweet claiming that I was sorry and wanted to “be better.” But this barrage of tweets, as sincere as I thought they were at the time, came off as shallow damage control.

Once again, I was called out on this.

The next day, I tried once again to make a no-bullshit apology. I stated in plain english that I was indeed transphobic, ableist, and 100% in the wrong to make that meme, and that, while I still didn't fully understand xenogender identities, I would be respectful of them from now on.

There were plenty of people who were glad I apologized and learned from my mistakes, and I honestly felt a lot better for it.

I was hoping this would just be a fresh start, and things could slowly go back to normal for me and my friends.

However, there were also people angry at me for “bending the knee,” as they put it. I hid their replies to my apology because some of them (not all of them) were friends of mine, and I didn't want them getting attacked.

Some of my friends took this as “throwing them under the bus,” and were angry at me for it. A few of them decided they didn't want to be my friends anymore.

My friends, whether I agree with them on everything or not, mean a lot to me. They are really the only emotional support I have. I suffer from abandonment issues and my mental illness symptoms spike whenever I lose people I consider close friends.

So I lashed out at them for not respecting my decisions. I felt like they didn't really care about my mental health or my emotional wellbeing. I was hurt. Hurt just like I hurt everyone with the meme that started this whole nightmare.

I then, once again, started posting suicidal tweets. I talked about wanting to “chug a bottle of pills” and “go out like etika.” I actually attempted to strangle myself with a bathrobe belt. But, of course, I'm an all-talk-no-action coward when it comes to suicide.

After this, something just kind of fizzled out inside of me. I came to the conclusion that as much as I wanted to just make everyone happy, I couldn't. I couldn't make everyone believe that I was sorry, and I couldn't make everyone stop seeing me as just someone who wanted to “bend the knee” to avoid backlash.

So I was done. I gave up. I didn't care anymore. I was numb.

I made one last series of tweets stating just that, announced I was taking a break from twitter to heal, privated my account, and left. (I also made a tweet asking for people to report the person who screenshotted my meme and got people on me, but then I got called out for targeting a minor, and deleted this tweet as well.)

That brings us to right now.

I decided that I needed to really sit down, gather up all my thoughts, and recount the entire series of events. I just want everything that happened, including my words and actions, to be understood.

I'm not a bad person. I'm not an ableist or a transphobe. But I am a human. A human who makes mistakes. And when I make mistakes, I want to learn and do right by the people I've hurt.

I'm also a person with an extremely fragile mental and emotional state. A person who doesn't think clearly under pressure. A person who's had to put up with a lifetime of feeling like a failure who should honestly just cease to exist.

The bottom line here is this: I've gone through the suffering that I needed to go through. I realized the consequences of my ignorance. I've tried and am still trying my best to do right by everyone. I need to get this thing off my chest, confess to my sins, and finally let this whole thing go. So I can heal. So that everyone I hurt and everyone who got caught up in this can heal.

I would be lying if I said I completely understood xenogenders at this point. I probably never will. But I don't need to understand. I just need to be respectful. Because at the end of the day, no one's hurting anyone by identifying with a xenogender identity. They're just people trying to find themselves, just like I am. Who the hell am I to put them down? I'm neurodivergent. I've been young. I should know better.

I sincerely apologize to the xenogender community, to the LGBT+ community, to my friends, and to everyone that got caught up in this.

I love you all.

TL;DR: Made a shitty meme. Didn't do my research on xenogenders. Was ableist/transphobic. Had a severe mental health breakdown. Alienated everyone. Am genuinely sorry.

NOTE: At the time of posting this, my Twitter is still on private, and I’m afraid to unprivate it just yet. I would appreciate it if my friends could share this so it can get out there.

[bathunterofdevon]

Art/Animation/Video Update:

Good day everyone. 

You may or may not notice how quiet and inactive I've been lately - when I promised I would give regular updates about my renewed determination to practise art and learn to animate successfully. In the beginning, when I first started this new challenge, I was pumped up, and full of energy to start it. I made a promise that I would never give up no matter what, and always focus on getting better. And in the first 5-6 days, I did keep a level head and kept on going, with a clear goal at the end of it. But, over a relatively short time, -by day 5 I think- I became exhausted and couldn't carry on anymore. My own brain kept feeding and replaying bad memories over and over again, which left me feeling weak and spiritually broken. Eventually, I just burned out and collapsed. That was weeks ago now. Something I didn't expect to see again has returned suddenly, and with a vengeance. 

The past two weeks have been nothing short of hell for me. Realistically speaking, there is nothing wrong with me. I didn't have a rough or traumatic childhood. I haven't lost anyone close to me. I didn't break up with a long term girlfriend (never even had one to begin with). And yet, for some reasons which I feel are too complicated and awkward for me to discuss here, I've been feeling overwhelmingly cynical and bleak, like there is absolutely no point to me being alive. I feel like I have no future. And my brain is stuck in the past and I can't pull it out of there. 

 I remember feeling like this back when I was in Canada, and 3 years before that. It is strange. I don't think I have any legitimate reason to be depressed. There are so many people around the world who have really suffered terrible losses and come from real, hard and trying life circumstances. I know people who were sexually abused when they were children. I know someone who suffers from Schizophrenia, and regularly experiences headaches after being involved in an incident that gave them serious injuries in their childhood. I don't have either of those. I'm living with my family again - my Mum and Dad, and my family all love me and think the world of me. I recently started a new joj as a host and food busser for this new fancy restaurant in the town near where I live. And when people ask me what I'm feeling, I always tell them I'm fine. So everything should be okay. I'm doing all the things I ought to. I'm not old. I'm not ill. But for some reason, I'm just so sick and tired. Of virtually everything. 

I'm beginning to feel increasingly distant from my own life situation, like I'm on some kind of autopilot. Everything feels almost illusory and surreal. In a way, I wish I had some kind of real illness, like Coronavirus, or Cancer, with visible, manifest symptoms that everyone would notice. At least then there would be some kind of treatment for it. The past few days, my bedroom has slowly turned into a prison. I've become so lethargic, I haven't had breakfast in weeks. I've spent virtually entire days in my bed, and my dressing gown. I haven't even had the energy to take my dog for a walk. He is always sitting outside my bedroom door wagging his tail waiting for me to take care of him. I haven't spoken with my old school friends, or my extended family in ages, and I fear I'll never have the courage to break the mould and talk to them. And my bedroom is increasingly full of useless things that used to amuse me many years ago, but are now collecting dust. My piano is basically an ornament now - I haven't touched it in a very long time. My guitar's strings have long rusted and I haven't changed them in 7 years. I retrieved an old TV from the attic and hooked it to this laptop so I could use it as a second monitor to help with studying references while attempting digital art. But I've never even switched it on in months. My studio mic and audio interface - I suspect one or maybe both of them may be broken, but I can't even be bothered to investigate which - it just doesn't matter anymore. There are old songs from years ago that are half-finished that I wanted to finish and put on Soundcloud/maybe even Youtube, but music doesn't bring me enough joy anymore. Nothing does. 

You know–it's funny. My Gundham Tanaka video I released a year ago is becoming far more popular than I ever anticipated it would. I keep receiving new messages from newcomers telling me: 'My depression is cured' or 'this just made me feel so much better', etc etc. It's gratifying for me to hear people say things like that. But it's beginning to get a little tiring, all the same. It's a message that's just so out of tune with what I'm feeling.I just feel like a walking, rotting corpse. Even Kaede isn't making me feel happy anymore. Instead, I just feel lonely, and miss her. Speaking of which, a few weeks ago, I watched a video by Weebynewz about her execution, and I've discovered new information about it that I didn't notice before, which has made me feel a hundred times more uncomfortable. Now I feel quite sick, and even seeing the thumbnail for her execution video is enough to ruin my mood and break any focus and concentration I once had. 

I am lucky that I have online freerfs who I converse with regularly and who are always asking me if I'm okay. I'm grateful that they are there to make my daily experience marginally less shit. But these days, I rarely ever talk to them. I only respond now. I haven't got the energy to make small talk, or follow up on new developments or catch up with new memes. I know they're always looking out for me, but they are never going to get me out of this. The best they can do is stand well away from the event horizon and wait for me to force myself out of it.  

Fortunately though, for those of you who are worried about me, it's not completely bad. I have started taking medication again. You see, for a long time, I mistakenly believed you weren't supposed to take antidepressants while driving/learning to drive because they make you experience tiredness as a side-effect. Recently though, I learned that that's not technically true. You can take meds while you are driving, but the idea is that you are not supposed to drive if you feel tired, or your senses are impaired. In addition, I am looking to see if I can visit a counsellor and start having sessions. I'm kind of desperate for good news and a hope of recovery at the moment, but I guess it's still better than nothing. 

No matter what happens, I know this isn't really me. It's certainly a large part of me, but it's not all there is to my character. And frankly, I'm sick and tired of this, and I want it to stop. I want to keep entertaining all of you with silly videos. And maybe one day, I'd like to do a Q+A video/face+voice reveal, unprivate my old videos I made a decade ago, and introduce all of you to my real self. Then when that happens, I can finally move on, transcend my love of the Danganronpa franchise, and try something new. I'm not sure what that would entail. But it might be something that incorporates my love of music, anime, visual novels, and possibly writing/voice acting. 

Until that day finally comes, I'm going to remain stuck in this rut for who-knows-how-long. I won't know when the day will come, but I like to think I'll be fully aware when it has, since I'll feel totally different and refreshed. The only way I can come to terms with this long, dreary spell of melancholy is if it exists to serve some kind of purpose. And if this experience is to mean anything, then ultimately, my purpose is finally one day break free from it and discover a secret 'purpose' or 'why', or perhaps unlock a hidden potential I never knew I had all along. When that happens, then I can make my return and move on. Then my story could pick up from where I last left it. Or perhaps I can rewrite it altogether. 

I wish you all very well and sincerely hope NOBODY else in the world feels like this, 

 - Bat

[codzombies-abdl]

I wasnt planning on showing it to anyone in a negative light i just always used to watch ur animation memes bc they made me happy ur artstyle is rlly unique and id always watch the binch meme after a sad day bc the upbeat music plus ur upbeat style just made it enjoyable to watch so if u dont wanna unprivate it atleast unlist it 4 me for a day just so i can watch it one more time

alright, here it is. https://youtu.be/r9yAmtMeVUA

if you do anything remotely bad i will delete it (and ill delete my existence), i have trust issues and i dont want to damage them further.