#if anyone wants any examples of red flags to look out for i can put that together too

[pa-pa-plasma]

I feel like a big part of this is not knowing the difference between wild, feral, & domestic. People assume these are vague descriptors of individual behaviour or just funny quirks but they aren't.

Domestic animals are species that have been bred from their wild ancestors for hundreds if not thousands of generations to be a different (but still very closely related) species (editing to say someone in the comments mentioned subspecies & yes, that is the word I was looking for), usually for different tasks (like pest control, hunting, guarding, or companionship) or appearances. They are psychologically different from non-domesticed animals. These animals have an innate recognition of humans as part of the pack/herd/colony when socialized properly.

Feral animals are individuals from domesticated species like cats, dogs, horses, pigeons, etc that grew up either away from human activity or were not socialized with humans. Most of the time they can't be homed with anyone but a professional. I have a cat who used to be feral & he definitely acts different from my other 3 cats which were properly socialized from birth. I've been working with him for two years & he still acts feral with strangers & even people he's used to if they spook him (which doesn't take a lot). This is why proper socialization for domestic animals is important.

Wild animals are non-domesticated animals. Yes, even the ones bred & born in captivity. Yes, even those "domesticated" foxes. They cannot be feral. Most wild animals cannot be ethically kept as pets (animals from reputable zoos are not pets). The ones that can are small & usually only kept by people with experience in exotic pets like reptiles, insects, or fish. A lot more are also unreleasable for whatever reason &, if not euthanized, then kept, again, by professionals for educational purposes, like falconers.

There are tons of posts on the internet showing NOT CUTE behaviour, enclosures, handling, & feeding of wild animals. It's especially frustrating when it's spread by animal lovers who then go on to defend it because "it's cute, just let us have fun!"

It's not fun. This is misinformation that genuinely gets both people & animals hurt & even killed. Please learn wildlife safety (or even just googling) & do better. Follow some "is X animal video cute?" blogs. Take what they say seriously. We all did the work for Marineland, now do it for people/organizations like saveafox & Coyote Peterson too. I'm not asking.

i think the worst part abt being a furry and therefore being surrounded by furries is the lack of knowledge of animal welfare that the majority of the fandom has. nooo raccoon sona friend dont share that video of a raccoon being fed chips by a human person 😭😭😭

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Regarding queerbaiting: Sherlock is one of the more famous examples, and the tumblr drama surrounding it is an... interesting story that I think is worth knowing if you want to understand the queerbait allegations.

The show, made and set in the 2010s, liked to poke fun at John Watson for being a straight man shacking up with another single dude. The show's creators -- one of whom is a gay man himself -- were born in 60s, so I see these jokes as two guys who were adults during the height of AIDS and Thatcherism taking delight in the fact they're now living in a world where queerness is largely accepted and somewhat normalized. A straight guy being forced to constantly defend himself from nonchalant assumptions that the man he's living with is his gay lover is funny when he's not in any danger of being hate-crimed over it, right?

(I'm not a fan of the joke personally, but I get it.)

They really liked this stupid joke though, so they used it again and again and again, to the point that young fans started to become convinced it was hinting at something. I can't blame them: there was even a lesbian character who fell for Sherlock and explicitly compared herself to John as someone who wasn't into men and yet was just so spellbound by this one special detective boi.

It was pretty lesbophobic imo, which should have been a massive red flag as to how the showrunners really felt about queer characters...

...But where the show went from annoying to actively hostile was the mystery of how Sherlock survived his apparent death at the end of season 2. The showrunners swore up and down it was solvable... and then when the next season aired, the "solution" was "lol who cares how he did it, this is a ~*character driven story*~ and only stupid obsessed idiots would want to solve the mystery. 🤣🤣🤣"

Make no mistake, they singled out the mlm shippers specifically for mockery -- there's a group of Sherlock Holmes conspiracy theorists in the show who argue over a theory that Holmes and Moriarty staged the death together and then kissed about it. (The viewer is clearly meant to laugh at this.)

Some of the Johnlockers on tumblr refused to believe this was happening to them and doubled down and convinced themselves there was going to be an amazing Johnlock plot twist at the end of season 4. My understanding (which might be wrong, I wasn't in the fandom) is that this contingent was largely composed of naive queer teenagers who blindly trusted a handful of influential adults who insisted that the show was deep and clever and didn't hate its fans.

So I can definitely sympathize with the folks who fear Byler is just queerbait. This too is a mlm fandom made up of naive teenagers trusting the adults who swear that the secret gay plot twist is totally gonna happen this time, trust me bro it's not called Surface Things.

And, look. I think it's very sensible to be skeptical of random strangers on the internet who insist they have the answers, no matter how authoritative they might sound. Keep on doing that, folks. 👍

But I think that principle applies just as much to the "this is just like Sherlock" doomers as it does to the "anyone who thinks Byler won't happen has no media literacy" lot. Yes, it's always possible that the Duffers were queerbaiting us all along... but the way Sherlock and Stranger Things approach queerness truly is like night and day.

Huh, well, if what you say is accurate, then it sounds like the Holmes writers were just jerks overall. I can see the joke, as you explain it. I may not think it appropriate to make it a running gag, but it's good for a chuckle or two. If it was truly presented as a joke, then it would be on the fans for misinterpreting it, but I don't know enough about how it was presented to know how easy it would be for fans to make that conclusion.

To me, it only makes it more apparent that things on Stranger Things are "night and day," as you put it. Will's feelings, and Robin's, for that matter, are not treated as jokes. They're treated as dramatic, emotional parts of their individual arcs. In Will's case, his happiness is linked to his relationship with Mike, which is complicated by the fact that he doesn't think he'll get to have a romantic relationship with him, or at all really.

I prefer to think the Duffers are better than whoever was responsible for what you described. While it all remains to be seen, they deserve the benefit of the doubt, for now.

[middle-name-queer]

A great thing about the good place is how all four of the main crew are actually self-centered

We commonly identify forms of self-centered behavior such as selfishness that is exemplified by Elenor. (aka "a Bad Person"), but then you have Chidi and Tehani. These two are far less classical in their self-centered behavior but are still self-centered, nevertheless.

The show makes Tehani's folly pretty clear, despite all her philanthropic acts she still centers herself in every situation. How she ended up there is actually parallel to Elenor's upbringing, the only real difference is the glitz and the glamour. They both had parents that were withholding for one reason or another, neither felt seen nor wanted and so one shut down to protect herself, the other made her entire existence a performance, either way they are deeply, deeply self-centered people.

But Chidi is my favorite, for the obvious reason that his self-centered behavior is the least obvious. Now of course it's made pretty clear to us as viewers but as a character within the world, for nearly all situations most people would judge Chidi as a good (albeit, sometimes annoying) person. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who would out right call him self-centered... yet he is!

Chidi acts as though the world rests squarely on his shoulders, that each little choice he makes carries the weight to change the trajectory of humanity. Putting this into words pretty clearly illustrates the ridiculousness of it. It simply isn't reality, and it shows how, even though Chidi is a "good person" (vs Elenor and Jason) he is still susceptible to the very human condition of not looking past yourself. Another way to state it (as I'm sure many have before) he basically suffers from thinking he's a main character. (lol) Now, lucky for him he actually is one but translating this to real life you can see how people fall prey to this way of thinking, convoluting their lives due to the faulty belief that they, and they alone, can make or break the world around them.

This rolls around my brain like a marble because, I did this! For an embarrassingly long time in my youth, I truly felt the grief and horror that comes with thinking you, and you alone, can fix the world's problems. And I think this sort of thing isn't talked about enough because there isn't an obvious red flag of being a "bad person". Chidi is "good" and so there is a smoke screen effect hiding how poor his behavior actually is. (Can you tell I deeply identify with his character? 🤔)

Jason is an interesting case in his own right, because he's self-centered almost in the same way as a small child. I assume Donkey Doug was simply unequipped to help Jason develop past that stage in his upbringing, in tandem with say... other lifestyle choices, Jason's overall mental development is limited. He's an interesting example of how not all self-centered behavior is motivated by innate "selfishness". Jason is very much capable of empathy, generosity, and comradery, as shown by his relationship to Janet, lifelong friendships, and his participation and organization of a 60-person dance crew. This is in opposition to Elenor, a selfishly self-centered person who could not form meaningful or lasting relationships.

Jason Mendoza's behavior is more of a big kid who acts on impulse, this can obviously be perceived as "hurtful" and when done by a grown adult it may be judged as "he's a bad person". But when looking at his overall character it's clear that he doesn't make a single move with any ill intent or malice. You can easily reason with him in nearly all situations, even when he chooses to throw a molotov at a train, all it takes is grabbing him by the arm and telling him to knock it off. He doesn't argue or get defensive, unlike versions of Elenor who would tell you to "go fork yourself". Jason is only self-centered because he struggles to see the big picture, but when it's shown to him, more often than not he accepts it with a little guidance.

I have no end point here other than watching these characters exude self-centeredness in four distinctly different ways, only to then learn and better themselves, is a delight!

[queersatanic]

What John Oliver gets wrong about The Satanic Temple and abortion rights

In the most recent episode of HBO's "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver", he made a mention of a particular publicity stunt by a certain satanic for-profit business-cum-church.

In so doing, he demonstrated perfectly the way The Satanic Temple's grift works, and the limitations of "Last Week Tonight" as an actual news program rather than what it is: a popularizer and disseminator of the work done by others.

If the show had done a proper investigation, they would have immediately found huge red flags involving the Temple's clinic that call into question its legitimacy entirely. Since they did not, we'll show you what so many have missed despite being out in the open.

JOHN OLIVER: But also, note that we can still act here. Some have taken some small steps in the last year that are, if nothing else, immensely satisfying. Like this one that was covered by a Catholic news network. > TRACY SABOL: An international group named after Satan will soon open its first abortion business in the United States. > > The Satanic Temple, which claims to not believe in a literal Satan, will provide telehealth screenings and prescribe abortion pills for patients in New Mexico. The name of the soon-to-be facility? The Samuel Alito's Mom's Satanic Abortion Clinic. (AUDIENCE CHEERS) JOHN OLIVER: Incredible. Very well played. Now, is that gonna fix everything? No, of course it isn't. But when it comes to responding to such wide spreading devastation, you could do a lot worse than the single best "your mom" joke of all time. Especially when you add in that one of the group's co-founders even said, "In 1950, Samuel Alito's mother did not have options, and look what happened."

That seems like pretty high praise, and the show moves on without further comment on it.

From this, you would not know that The Satanic Temple fundamentally jeopardized the legitimacy of this telehealth clinic by utilizing fake names on government documents for its New Mexico corporations registry.

"Malcolm Jarry" is the pseudonym of TST co-owner Cevin Soling; despite listing two different addresses and listing him twice, "Lucien Greaves" is the same person as Douglas Misicko.

Doing this is almost certainly literally perjury, as has come up in court for them before.

Actually, several times.

To repeat: You do not get to lie and use a fake name for yourself on government documents, particularly documents establishing legal ownership of your corporation.

In any proper legal challenge to The Satanic Temple's clinic, including anyone who treats TST's marketing as credible and wants to use it as a shield against abortion bans, this would be found out and it would absolutely put the entire endeavor in jeopardy.

Of course, it gets worse.

Here's what the Temple says on its website about this clinic, emphasis added:

Q: Abortion is illegal where I live. Can I still get an abortion with TST Health? A: Abortion is legal in New Mexico. Regardless of where you live, if you are in the state of New Mexico during your video consultation and when you perform your abortion ritual, you will have abided by the law. However, if you travel to a state where abortion is illegal and need follow-up care, there may be some risks. Unfortunately, we don’t have enough information to know how state laws will be enforced. We believe that the religious nature of our care neutralizes this risk, but state courts must affirm this, and we are working toward attaining that confirmation.

And here are the kinds of billboards TST has run around the country and in its Facebook ads in bids for attention and while soliciting money:

“Our religious Abortion Ritual Averts Many State Restrictions”.

Yet, when The Satanic Temple sued a billboard company that was unwilling to run that demonstrably false advertisement, TST owner Cevin Soling had to admit in his deposition that he was not aware of any examples where Satanism had been successfully used to avert a state restriction on abortion, including their own previous attempts:

As of November 2023, The Satanic Temple has lost six (6) abortion-ban challenges, lost them in state and in federal court, lost them at the district court, appellate court, and supreme courts.

TST has never helped someone avert a state law restricting abortion. But they have fundraised heavily off of the idea that they can.

How much? It's very tough to say because "The Satanic Temple, Inc." d/b/a "TST Health Inc." and "Sam Alito's Mom's Satanic Abortion Clinic Inc." is not a regular nonprofit: it's a tax-exempt church. And as a tax-exempt church, it is under no legal requirement to report its finances.

John Oliver famously created "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" in 2015 to highlight the problems inherent with this, so you might argue that TST is just doing the same thing and attempting to bring awareness to a problem with the U.S. tax code.

Except that Oliver shut his corporation down after a month and reported its finances, meanwhile "The Satanic Temple Inc." chugs along year after year soliciting money and providing no financial transparency about how much money is coming in or where it's being spent. (Say, pursuing various SLAPP actions against ex-members; again, Oliver would know something about being on the receiving end of one of those.)

Of course it gets even more complicated.

The Satanic Temple's owners registered their tax-exempt church "The Satanic Temple Inc." in New Mexico as, among other things, "TST Health Inc." and have been promoting merchandise for it as well.

But the merch lacks the "tax-deductible" notification, which is the only way on TST's website to distinguish purchases benefitting the for-profit "United Federation of Churches LLC d/b/a 'The Satanic Temple' " from its nonprofit "The Satanic Temple (Inc.)".

How much money did The Satanic Temple bring in specifically for this telehealth clinic based on its fundraising campaigns? We don't know, and TST's owners won't tell you.

How many people did The Satanic Temple actually help with its telehealth clinic? We don't know — although we did get some idea from TST's failed Indiana abortion-ban lawsuit where TST indicated "over two dozen" people in a state with existing abortion clinics where abortion was legal had been able to be helped between February and June 2023.

Now, as part of the same proceedings, The Satanic Temple claims that it spent "over $75,000 to establish and maintain an abortion clinic" but that number is rather suspiciously the exact number TST needed to claim for damages in order to meet federal jurisdictional requirements, and it's exactly the sort of thing you'd want to see broken down in an audit because it claims it spent this in March 2023, prior to operating expenses actually kicking in.

So if that were true, and again, there's no reason to think it is, it would mean that The Satanic Temple is one of the most inefficient ways for anyone to get fund abortions. This is the sort of thing the group Indigenous Women Rising pointed out at the time in response to TST's announcement.

Even if The Satanic Temple were actually doing this with the best of intentions, and there's no reason to think they are, it would be a bad idea to try to come in from Massachusetts and re-invent the wheel rather than support any of the established organizations operating in New Mexico who have local connections and experience with the challenges of funding abortions for people.

None of this is especially hidden information, you know. Even the court proceedings are out for the public to examine, especially for lawsuits that have gotten so much attention when they were announced, thanks to a TST press release, and at their close, thanks to the Indiana Attorney General's press release.

But they do require doing work, asking follow up questions, and expecting more evidence in response to those questions than, "Just trust me, bro."

So how did the "Last Week Tonight" segment happen? Well, going back to the video, have two news outlets here: the first is EWTN, and the second is the Albuquerque Journal.

The EWTN "News Nightly" segment comes from Feb. 3, 2023, the Albuquerque Journal article from Feb. 6, 2023.

If you look at both, the way they're structured is taking a press release from The Satanic Temple and quoting from it and TST's website. EWTN is a straightforwardly Catholic news agency, so it just talks to Father Steve Grunow, CEO of Word on Fire Ministries for his take on the situation; the Albuquerque Journal is a mainstream, "objective" newspaper, so it quotes Elisa Martinez, founder and executive director of the New Mexico Alliance for Life; and it quotes Joan Lamunyon Sanford, executive director of the New Mexico Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, while adding in some more details about "The Satanic Temple Inc." being an IRS-recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit.

Note that no one has yet done actual journalism here. The Catholic news agency has a bogeyman to beat up on and connect to abortion rights more generally, such as Ruth Bader Ginsberg getting a statue. The "straight news" outlet quotes from a press release then plays stenographer for the views of "both sides"; the deepest anyone goes is confirming that TST has an entity that can accept tax-deductible donations.

Sympathetic outlets like Hemant Mehta of "The Friendly Atheist", meanwhile, offer no pushback and just look for more quotes from TST to dutifully transcribe with no pushback or further investigation.

The Satanic Temple's press release and additional quotations from "pro" and/or "anti" abortion rights figures who are basically unconcerned with any particular facts of the situation, just taking TST's framing and reacting to it. When "Last Week Tonight" does a short segment about it, it leans on the work of others who upon deeper examination are actually doing very little work.

Larger media outlets like Jezebel and smaller, local ones like the Riverfront Times, on the other hand, have done in-depth looks at the Temple more generally and discovered that underneath the marketing there is not much of anything.

Prior to this clinic's announcement, we did our own in-depth roundup of abortion access orgs, journalists, legal experts, and actual court outcomes. Again: when abortion rights folks are actually familiar with the specifics of The Satanic Temple and TST's activities, the opinion is skeptical to outright hostile.

It would be really nice if John Oliver and his team were willing to apply the same level of skepticism to glorified press releases about The Satanic Temple that they do to many other topics.

But that takes work, and if local and partisan sources aren't doing the yeoman's work for them, even with HBO's budget, "Last Week Tonight" is like to skip it and make mistakes.

We've been willing to do the work, to be deservedly skeptical, and to compare the claims The Satanic Temple has made in one place versus ones they've made other places. We have limited resources and time as well, and we're not professionals. Unfortunately, it often seems like we're the only ones doing this.

But you can, too. You can watch yourself when a piece of news comes in that tickles your fancy, like someone being rude to an odious Supreme Court justice, and ask yourself a few more questions about what claims are actually being made and whether you ought to have some follow-up questions about it.

For us the most important one remains, "Why doesn't The Satanic Temple have any financial transparency or accountability for what it does with its donations, and why is it not more clear what is a for-profit sale benefiting the owners and what is a nonprofit donation?"

[blanketforcas]

A guide to real-person shipping and tinhatting

Most of this can be applied to general tinhatting but I will mainly be focusing on RPS and using examples from cockles fandom. This is based on my experience and what I’ve personally come across. Examples I use are merely illustrative and not meant as shade to anyone.

Let’s get some ethics of rps out of the way first

*disclaimer: this is what I would advise, I know opinions on this do vary

Try to keep it off main as much as possible (ie twitter, tiktok). You can’t always escape the algorithm, some stuff does get seen by the actors. Every actor’s comfort level with this is different, but as a general rule let's say tinhatting stays on tumblr or group chats

Try to avoid stating something as truth unless you’re quoting the actors

This goes without saying, but don’t ever mention the ship to the actors and if they bring it up themselves, don’t forget that’s not a free pass to just say whatever

Now, moving on to some pitfalls and tips

Do some basic research

Is this tweet/post reflecting the truth? Do multiple sources confirm this? Is there video? What was the context? What is happening right before and right after this particular moment? Does that change how you think about it?

When you see a picture you haven’t seen before, are you sure it’s not a manip? Use reverse image search and if nothing comes up, try to look up the event using key words to see if you can find the picture. If it’s hard to find and friends can’t help you either, it’s probably a manip. Obviously also look for signs within the picture itself (strange lines/different lighting on one person/missing limbs etc)

Are you projecting?

We all do it! It’s normal, just try to be aware when you’re doing it. Sometimes actors might indeed be similar to you when it comes to [whatever your theory is about], sometimes not at all. Fact remains you’re more likely to run with it when it’s something you do or feel yourself. Try to ask some friends what they would do/how they would react and maybe you’ll find out it’s less common or obvious than you think.

Confirmation bias is one hell of a drug

It’s surprising how easily a pattern can be found if you actively try to find one. Try to keep thinking critically: do I too quickly add something to the list of evidence because I really want my theory to be true? Does it really belong in that pile or could there be another reason why X happened the way it did?

The more effort it requires to make your theory sound plausible, the less likely it is to be true

Does it need a lot of explanation? Are you having to find a lot of excuses when an alternative explanation is presented? Are there inconsistencies in your theory that are difficult to explain away?

These are all red flags and should make you question the validity of your theory.

You as a fan are always going to be far more invested than any of these actors will ever be

Whether it’s about the show they are on or their social media behaviour, you will always care more and inevitably find details that weren’t put there intentionally.

No, the actors aren’t constantly leaving clues about the show you love (“you’re not crazy” tweets aside) in their everyday posts, they are just living their lives and sharing it.

And no, actors aren’t hiding secret and very obscure messages in their posts about how their relationship is real. They will simply quote Casablanca on the other person’s birthday and assume you get the memo

Remember they aren’t as obsessed with us as we are with them

This ties into the previous point about hiding secret messages. It’s a consequence of parasocialising which is something I talk about later in this guide.

Actors may or may not care a lot about us as people/as a fandom, and sometimes they do like to play with us in a general lowkey sense, but they aren’t looking for a “special” group of people who Get It. They aren’t putting in the time and effort to find a way to communicate with us on some secret code level. An example within cockles fandom I’ve seen is the stoplight system (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, this was an idea proposed by a fan via text messages that Misha could use red/yellow/green to communicate how loud we could be about cockles – the day after, the official Gish account’s activity was seen as possible confirmation Misha actually adopted the method).

Which leads me to my last point:

Watch out for conspiracy thinking

I know, I know. It’s kind of in the name. Tinhatting implies some sort of conspiracy, but this is a bit too simple when it comes to RPS and especially cockles – where you have two people who make a lot of references themselves and like to have fun with it. There’s different levels of tinhatting one can do, my goal is just to try to make you more aware of some of the red flags and pitfalls that I’ve mentioned throughout this post.

Okay maybe one final point about mental health

You’re more susceptible to falling for some of these things if you’re parasocialising hard. It’s something we are all familiar with because how else did we end up in this dumpster in the first place?

It doesn’t need to be problematic – it’s almost inevitable and comes with being a fan. With tinhatting It’s important to check in with yourself from time to time how much you care about a particular theory and why you find it so important.

More generally when you find yourself spending more and more time in these fandom spaces – ask yourself if there’s something else you’re avoiding or feelings you’re repressing that need to be dealt with. Reach out to friends (those can and do include the people you spend all that time discussing RPS with), try to distance yourself a bit etc. Take a step back if needed.

With all that being said, you can still do whatever you want and make your own judgement. I just hope this can help at least one person to be more cognizant of how they engage with RPS. I know I’ve personally fallen for some of the traps and I learned and still learn along the way.

Yes, this is a little bit silly, it’s a silly subject matter. The reason I care so much and wrote this guide anyway, is not just because I like tinhatting to be believable (cause I do, I can’t deny that) but also because a lot of these critical thinking skills are helpful in for example preventing people from falling for actually dangerous conspiracy theories, cults and cult-like group structures, and toxic relationships.

Now I feel like I ended on such a serious note but I want to emphasise of course the most important part of RPS is to have fun – and this is hopefully just a tiny toolbox for when you want to do more of a deep dive.

Happy rps'ing!

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Im Australian and I want to start by saying that our own political system is by no means perfect in fact far from it so this isn’t coming from a place of “we are better” but I’ve noticed a key difference and just interested in your point of view. From the outside in it seems like most Americans idolise your President like really put a lot of faith in them and view them as a saviour almost? Which seems insane because America is a big ass country and soooo complex with soooo many states and walks of life and to put it all on one person seems crazy. I look at Trump and Kamala and wouldn’t trust either of them so would never idolise or put all of my hopes and dreams in their hands. It also seems so divided like blue vs red and no in between. Over here we definitely have different parties and beliefs and policies but we kind of view the government and our leadership as working for or with us like, we are all in it together you know? Obviously not all of the time for example a big stuff up by the Victorian leader during Covid and what happened there. But we look at them as normal ass people who are (hopefully) trying to help us. The US Presidents are like big celebs who are untouchable and seems impossible to get close to or relate to, yet people absolute worship them. Why do you think that is? Please understand I’m not having a go or trying to offend. 🫶🏻

you’re not offensive at all! i would hope people can understand that there are some fundamental differences as to how politics are handled and viewed across countries. and yes, i do understand where you’re coming from, and i actually believe this is precisely why donald trump is president. i’m putting my rant/explanation under a page break because it’s long lol

the american people have, at least in modern times, frequently assessed a candidate’s electability based on the average person’s likelihood of wanting to “have a beer” with them. relatability to the average joe has been a huge metric in american politics, to the point that candidates who are incredibly out of touch get caught in “gotcha” moments trying to seem regular when they are clearly unable to relate to any middle class or impoverished person. donald trump is a mega-wealthy, pompous asshole who has had everything handed to him, but he speaks in a way directly to the american people that appeals to working class americans who sadly are on his communication level. there is a reason he has said he “loves the poorly educated”. there’s a huge identity crisis happening in american politics right now; democrats are not appealing to working class, blue-collar workers the way they are supposed to, considering a primary liberal value is supposed to be uplifting the poor and middle class, protecting union workers, etc. there is no reason poor people in midwestern states should be shifting to donald trump, except democrats have fucked up their messaging and started to hang their hats on trying to control people socially and police/cancel/disappear anyone with dissenting opinion, which has polarized and radicalized folks who were otherwise moderate or even once considered progressive. a great example of this is PA senator john fetterman who outright stated he no longer considers himself such, and it’s because progressives have moved the goal post too far for many average folks whose motivations don’t center around identity politics.

whether my counterparts can accept and admit it or not, america has fully rejected this at every level with this election; donald trump has won the popular vote decidedly. vast majority of people don’t want to argue about pronouns and men in women’s sports or burning flags/shouting death to america at protests, they want someone to help them get ahead and be able to pay their rent/mortgage, buy groceries, be able to afford to visit their doctor and enjoy literally any luxuries beyond just surviving. the average american is not politically engaged enough to do a deep dive on why trump is never going to do that, they just know that it isn’t happening under the current administration and they’re angry and desperate. to the average american, the optics are that trump represents the every man who cannot articulate all that well, is a bit crass and uncouth, and is laughed at by liberal elites who want to cancel them for saying something they perhaps didn’t even realize was offensive. and this country is not ready for a woman president, much less a black one. sadly we have a long, long way to go. i sincerely hope the party i support gets their shit together so this country has a chance to move forward from this chapter, eventually.

[bohemian-nights]

Even in the book it’s clear that the relationship between Rhaenyra and Daemon isn’t healthy (in fact you can make the argument that no romantic relationship depicted in any of George R.R. Martin’s work is completely healthy) and isn’t something anyone should strive for.

So when I first watched the show and saw the romantic twist they put on Rhaenyra and Daemon I was confused (as someone who read the book first HOTD is to me what the Percy Jackson movies are to that fandom, enjoyable but differing vastly from the source material) and not going to lie intrigued.

But then as the episodes went on I developed a very big love-hate relationship with Daemon. Episodes 6-7 pissed me off 🫠 Hooking up with anyone at the funeral of your wife isn’t cool (also Harwin who was Rhaenyra’s lover for ten years who she had three children with just died) I mean I get that everyone grieves in different ways but the fact that he slept with Rhaenyra especially when I know how he treated Laena (and his daughters to some extent) 🥴🙄

I would also like to say that I don’t play around with domestic violence (fictional and in the real world) so Daemon choking Rhaenyra really turned me off his character. It also felt like another moment in HOTD to showcase brutal violence against women.

There are a handful of potentially healthy romantic relationships(Rhaena and Garmund might have actually had a happy marriage), but yeah if someone is using Dumbnyra as an example of one 🫠

To me, the show never framed their relationship in a romantic context. I mean Rhaenyra is underage when we first meet her, she looks super young next to her overly grown uncle, and the necklace he gives her could constitute as grooming.

I think people got confused with the “switch up” because they are the only “shippable couple”(I say this term loosely because shippable to this fandom equals too white people who breathe near each other hence why we have the clusterf*ck that is lucemond) on the show so far. If the red flags didn’t ring for people in episode one they should’ve rung by episode four when he abandoned her in the brothel. People seemed to ignore this because she’s 18, but abandoning someone in a dangerous place they aren’t familiar with no matter their age is really scary

This is going to be a very controversial take(I’m not a person who gets off on seeing domestic violence), but it seems like the choking scene was necessary since people thought Dumbnyra was supposed to be a romantic couple 🤷🏽‍♀️

Daemon from day one was a crazy a**hole who hardly cared about anyone. He does have redeeming qualities in the book(notably how is with Laena and Nettles, which they better not screw over because Ryan Condal himself has said the man is a gray character and she’s his only light now), but so far they’ve cut those parts out and turned him into a man obsessed with his brother.

Rhaenyra, as are all the other women in his life, is a causality of his obsession. People wanted her to be his exception, but she was never framed in that way. In fact, she’s one of his first “victims.”

Daemon has not changed fundamentally since episode one. So it makes sense why he’d violently snap at her too. Out of all the violent scenes directed at women in the past season, the choking scene makes the most sense to me.

Like I said above, I hope we do see him change(and yes I’ll be biased and say I want him to change for Nettles like he did in the books) because he is supposed to be a morally gray character, but Rhaenyra is not part of the lighter side of him.

[thesovereignsring-if]

Hello! I played through the demo yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it! After looking through your tumblr and getting a more in-depth look at it I have a couple of questions!

My primary question is, regarding the ROs, will all of these relationships be functional/healthy? Should I expect verbal/physical abuse, etc. from any of the ROs? And if so, which one(s)? I can't really discern from the content warnings what to expect regarding some of the romance options, but I understand if you don't want to put out any spoilers or anything!

Secondly, is there a consensus among the general populace about which heir would be the best leader? It seems like many people dislike the MC's family due to their father – is Eirik a more popular choice for the majority of citizens?

And kind of bouncing off the previous question (sorry for such a long ask!!), is it possible for the MC to romance Eirik out of a perceived necessity (like if he is the favored choice among commoners, or his ascension would cause less bloodshed, for example) and not because of an actual romantic interest in him? Eirik as an RO seems like it'll cause a lot of conflict for the MC which I am always for, but I personally would be unwilling to follow that route if doing so meant the MC is actually romantically interested in him (and I want to clarify that this is not a criticism of him being an RO!! Just personal preference!)

Thank you, and I look forward to reading more when updates become available!!

Hi! Thanks for taking the time for the long ask!

If you are looking for a conventional, green-flag romance, Thea and Finny are the ones to go for. Everyone else is a lil more messy.

1. None of the content warnings relate to the MC’s romances with the RO(s) and will never fully cross the abusive line. Some might be more intense than others, but thats with the MC’s consent. Wether they are heathy or not is up for debate since the MC themselves might be the red flag and you can’t tell if the other ROs are using you or not. :)

2. Everyone has their own opinion on who should ascend. Imperial Law favours Al, but you wouldn’t be wrong in that Eirik has a lot of people supporting him as well.

3. Players do not need to romance Eirik to support him, however an ‘alliance’ must be made in his route, but it can be done platonically. You can play this game without romancing anyone and I plan to keep it that way!

[f1-birb]

I'm just glad Lando has Jon and others for support right now because he's chronically online and the takes, even by some "fans," are not it.

I know we talked about his consistency being taken for granted last year, and this is just another example imo. He RARELY makes mistakes (and I'm not defending him or saying people can't say he made an error or whatever, because it was obvious he had and I think fans being frustrated with that or whatever is valid), but omg, mistakes happen. To all drivers. They're a part of motorsport. Yet I already see all of these shit takes about the "next Ricciardo" and "the beginning of the end for McLaren's golden boy" and "omg it's karma!!" (karma for what? doing his job?). Like, it was one qualifying. It was one mistake. We don't even know how the race will turn out, especially with nearly every engine seemingly having some reliability concerns. We know nothing about safety cars or red flags that may present opportunities for drivers.

I'm sure Lando is already beating himself up enough without these "fans" coming for him for ONE error though. Hell, I've seen people who were ENJOYING his streams the past few weeks blaming it on him not taking racing seriously enough and spending too much time streaming, and it's like seriously? He's already talked about stepping back from most of his hobbies to focus on f1, but god forbid he do anything, ever, to just relax and have fun.

It's well known he puts an enormous amount of pressure on himself, and I think he's said he puts even more on when his dad is at races because he wants to show all the investment into his career was worth it (which is daft because Adam (and Cisca) love him so damn much and anytime Adam talks about Lando you can just hear sheer and utter pride in his voice)

He made a mistake, he knows it, he's owned up to it, at no point has he tried to pin it on anyone or anything but himself, and now people need to move on because the race could end up with a completely different result because we just don't know. Someone else makes a mistake, the engine reliability issues we've seen, freak weather change who knows, etc etc.

Jeddah is a fucking nightmare and I hate it with a passion (possibly the most out of the street circuits) because it's so easy for literally any of them to make a mistake like that, look at Max's 2021 or Lando today, Esteban also said he clipped the wall twice in his run and thought he'd damaged the car but managed to keep pushing it

People just like to chat shit and Lando is one of the people they like the chat shit about the most. He's never going to do anything right in their eyes so I don't really care for their opinions. He could probably get pole, have a clean drive filled with good battles, score fastest lap and win AND STILL people would find something to criticise him about it

I've clearly managed to curate my space fantastically because I haven't seen any of those comments (I never check the comments on instagram and I literally only made a twitter account today for the sole purpose of following LN4 and McLaren for possible Jon pics....) but they're nothing new, they started halfway through last year and with the godawful tenacity of some people it's no surprise they're still being thrown around ~ as I always say "the block button is your friend ✨"

[randum-famdoms]

Finally caving and no longer using Google docs (mostly, probably will still copy and paste the first drafts of chapters in there for my beta reader to go over since that’s what she has)

Gonna start writing via ellipsus now (@ellipsus-writes is their tumblr account, if you wanna check it out). The following is gonna basically just me squeeing and how amazing this thing is, as well as a few cons I’ve noticed, and it’s long. So I’m adding a cut for people who don’t care.

I’m so fucking excited to no longer have to manually add in all the html in the ao3 text editor, you have no fucking idea. That step alone takes hours, double that if something glitches. And I can still write on my phone!!!!!

First downside I’ve noticed so far is that it doesn’t include my preferred font for writing (trebuchet ms if anyone is curious). It DOES have a comic sans sibling tho, which I can use for now. If it annoys me over time then I guess I’ll put up with Inter, even tho I hate most mono fonts. And serif fonts. I’m really picky. Serif fonts me flashbacks to grade school 5 paragraph essays in mla style. And mono fonts just… idk they look weird. Not creative at all. Very corporate.

Another bonus I’ve noticed: it includes open dyslexic as a font!!! I don’t personally need it, but having that accessibility is amazing. HUGE props to the creators.

Also love the interface. Very nice, user friendly, intuitive, looks good, 10/10.

There’s a light and dark mode choice on install, and I chose dark of course.

The editor settings are cool, allowing you to turn on and off different features like seeing other editiors’ cursors when typing, avatars when they’re viewing the document (tho it says draft there, maybe it doesn’t work in the main doc and only in drafts? If so, that’s odd), certain formatting things like dashes combining into an emdash, Ellipses (idk what that’s supposed to mean since there’s no elaboration), quotes (again no elaboration), markdown shortcuts (idk what those are, maybe it’s about coding?), viewing the word count automatically in the top bar, the desktop formatting bar, and the theme (light vs dark).

AND STRIKETRHOUGH IS RIGHT THERE! Right next to bold italic and underline. I always forgot the key shortcut to it in Google docs (why is it three keys???? WHY???? It’s so inconvenient!) and you gotta navigate through like three drop downs to reach it in the menu bar. This is so SO much simpler. I use strike through all the time to denote thoughts the pov character is repressing, and considering Akechi is a pov character that’s pretty damn often.

Omg and having an easy button so see all the keyboard shortcuts???? I love the creators so much????? There’s so many I would never have known otherwise, and they’re all so useful!!!! Aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

I love the drafts feature, it’s so nice having my notes and outlines and such all right there.

I do wish the spell check feature was better about recognising foreign names, but since I can just turn it on and off I don’t have to deal with constant red lines like with Google! I do wish there was a way to add words to the program’s dictionary, so that it doesn’t flag names, abbreviations, and slang. (For example, it doesn’t like fic, fanfic, lol, dashes like -- or - for some reason, or really any of the character names. the list goes on.) and I can’t just add in Japanese to the accepted languages, because I’d have to choose either that or English and then every single other word would be wrong. It does give options for which regional English variant you want, so I can choose British English! Which is nice. Google does it too, but you never know with beta versions of programs.

You can choose whether text is normal, a header (which subsets if headers), a caption, a quote, etc. I like that, since it’s directly tied to the outline and the different headers show up in there tree-style, but you can’t just have some text within a category be different. For example, say you want some of your paragraph text to be one font and then a different section of paragraph text to be another. You can’t do that.

I also haven’t been able to find a way to change text colour, or to highlight text. Which is annoying. I use highlighting text a lot when editing, so loosing that is a problem. Not the end of the world, but definitely one of my biggest gripes with Ellipsus so far.

There is a commenting system, but it ONLY works in drafts. I do not like that. In fact, I kinda hate it. A lot. And I definitely prefer the way comments work in Google docs, at least its desktop version, where they show up right next to the text instead of you having to click on the text with a comment to see that comment. At the very least, you can see all the comments in order of where the text is in the draft, with any replies, all in one place in the comments tab. However, you can’t just click away from the text to leave that tab. You gotta manually navigate back to where you were in the menu.

So yeah the comment feature kinda sucks.

There is also a chat feature? Idk how to properly review it, since rn I don’t have anyone else to chat with in ellipsus. You can use it in non-drafts, but I don’t think you can use it to point out specific text.

You can see word count!!!! And an estimate for how long it would take to read the whole thing! That’s so useful! And cool! You can also highlight (with a cursor, not actual highlight) sections of text and it will show that section’s word count, but NOT its reading time.

The version history feature is a bit slow, but it functions well. Not too worried about it. You can restore old versions as a new draft, though, which is pretty neat.

You can also download the document as a pdf, markdown, share it, and copy it as html, markdown, and rich text, but best of all, oooooo best of all, you can export DIRECTLY to ao3! And it includes all the html in the document!!!! I never have to manually code in html again!!!!! There are no words to encapsulate just how fucking excited about that I am. None. I am vibrating. I’m ahdnfbshsbdbfbcbhcbcnnsdbdbxnxbdmsnddbbdndbdbdbAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

best. Feature. Ever. More than makes up for all the things I don’t like. Amazing. Wonderful. 10/10. Would die for that.

As of right now, I think that’s everything. Overall, I’d rate ellipsus an 8.5/10, compared to Google docs’s 7/10. I really love what they’ve done so far, but there’s some things they could really improve on.

Overall cons:

I really wish you could comment in the main document, it’s a big deal to me. I wish you could see comments by the text at all times, instead of just in the comments tab. I wish there were more font choices, the current pickings are slim at best. I wish you could change the font of specific sections instead of everything under that text category. I wish you could highlight things (even better if you could have multiple highlight colours). I wish you could change font colour. I wish you could add words to a dictionary so they aren’t flagged by spell check.

However, the vast majority of things ellipsus is doing are great. There are a ton of pros to this program, and it’s still in beta. There’s room for improvement, but that’s the whole point of a beta release. Everything I don’t like are things I can live with and work around, too. That’s better than a lot of completely finished games and programs I’ve come across. And it’s free!!! I’m really excited to see how Ellipsus develops, and definitely recommend it to any writers out there - especially anyone who writes for ao3. Seriously, the export to ao3 feature practically sells this thing by itself.

[bbybrahms]

Coming out to tell the story of the Repo! Zine from discord. Idk if there are multiple Repo! servers so to be clear this is all from the server titled 'TESTIFY', since I don't want any other servers reps getting tarnished by this cus I'm sure they're doing a better job than whatever this is.

Maybe it's a case of ESH but I can't clear up anything in the server and already stuffs being said about me, so I'm posting here.

From the start the organisation of the zine was messy. It's a passion project on discord so I really don't expect perfectly organised perfection, but it was red flags from day one.

Firstly, before anything started, we were led to believe that it was going to charity, specifically a palestinian charity. For me, that was a leading motivator in applying. Although iirc one person argued against it being palestinian (suspicious), there were ppl looking at different charities and essentially it was very heavily implied by the end that would be what we're doing. Except this was never brought up again.

The lack of communication was astounding. Contributors weren't outwardly informed their application was successful, a channel was just silently made and roles silently given. It took weeks to get info on the dimensions/format/deadline etc. (the deadline was given 2 WEEKS before any info on filetypes and colour profiles etc) and a lot of the time it would be organisers going "idk I'll ask this person" "idk wait for that person to respond" just no respect for the creatives they'd gotten involved. Zero communication. Told us next to nothing for Weeks.

At this point, I wasn't seeing these as red flags I just waited for the info I needed then got on with it.

I submit my piece a few days early, then when the deadline comes I'm curious what the other contributors did so took a nosy peak in the folder (idk if this is frowned upon or not I just wanted to see others art and mine was in the same folder so I think it's ok?) But there's like 1/4 of the amount there should be in there and this is a small project to begin with. So I follow up and get told the deadlines actually moved (was this decided privately or could they just not be bothered to chase up late submissions? Idk?)

The deadline gets moved 4 times total - a lot of the time after the deadlines been, like they'd message day after for example like "btw deadlines moved". This drags the project out months more than it originally was meant to be. The creatives who submitted on time are told nothing, they just have to wait what will happen to their art.

A final deadline finally happens. They say it's final, everyone agrees. Many people have dropped out at this point and frankly I should have done the same, but since I had already submitted I didn't really see the point in calling quits so late.

After the deadlines been, there's no word. So a little while later (iirc just under a month but don't quote me on this), I chase up again about how we haven't heard anything. I get told the zines still on, the deadlines closed, things are in the works. This was early July.

In early August, someone else follows up and ask if the zine is still on and if they should post the work they made for their submission on their own. OVER A MONTH LATER(mid September), they are told they can post their work if they so please. In this same convo, a mod comes in to say they'll probably get started that week - and then ask what file type we're doing. The deadline was in June. The disrespect to the people who put hours of work into a submission for a fandom they obviously care deeply about. Not only is it months before anyone is told what's being done with their work, not only is getting a response like pulling teeth, the people organising reveal they've only just given a single thought to how they're actually going to put it together. I see this and while I don't really care about whether or not my submission makes it into the zine, I feel so bad for the other contributors who showed so much interest and enthusiasm for this project.

So first day of October (last we heard was in mid-September, deadline was end of June, whole thing began in April where the original deadline was 6 weeks), I'm like "whatever, I'm over this zine, I'll take the L and whatever discord mod wrath this server has to offer, and point out how poorly they're treating their contributors." So I tell them straightforward that the zine has been a mess from day one and that their lack of communication is disrespectful and rude, not responding for over a month is just lazy and again rude.

I'll just post what I said:

(I use light mode because I can't read light text on a dark background easily, so no one needs to go 'haha lightmode')

I absolutely stand by every word btw. The zine was a joke. The lack of respect for the creatives was just so bad, the lack of communication, the lack of organisation. All of it.

I get this in response:

one mod says "contact me if you want your piece removed" and the other mod says "if you contact anyone I'll report you for harassment"

Anyway... yeah. I get told I'M the one being disrespectful, they don't bother remembering I was the one who checked in TWICE (guess I'm forgettable that way), I get called disgraceful, embarrassing and told I should never work professionally at all?? and that I'm a disgrace to the art community. And that I'm overreacting. Haha ok.

I'd also like to bring back how we were all lead to believe this would be for charity. And suddenly it's no ones priority? Were the mods never intending to actually follow through with the charity thing or did they just forget completely since it was six months ago this was decided? Ig if anyone would be interested in buying a Repo! zine just donate to Palestine instead. Safer that way.

As you can see in the screenshots, I got timed out🫶 I can't respond to any of this and basically have to just let them lie about me never checking in and being a rude and horrible disgrace out of nowhere, also implying I don't have my own stuff going on which is Bold to say the least.

Seeing as this was the first time anyone got a response on the same day, I hope at least I helped the other contributors by spiting the mods into action? Idk? Regardless, I'd say I dodged a bullet and the mods showed their true colours. I don't want my submission used but if I contact anyone I'm getting reported (to who??) for harassment (it was one message) so I just removed my submission from the folder and hope no copies were made🤞

If anyone in the server sees this: I stand by what I said, please don't include my work, and see you round ig✌️

I don't think I'll join another Repo! server, I love Repo! it's a huge passion of mine, I'll continue making art for it when I feel like, but yeah. That's my experience in the 'TESTIFY' server. It kinda sucked.

[anthonybialy]

Casual Embargo

I’m not buying that.  Commercial opposition happens as quickly as it does naturally during an era where every purchase seems political.  Reacting to harangues has replaced bagging items as the transaction’s last step.  Democrats got just the economic system they wanted.  You’ll have to seek riches internally.

A boycott sounds a bit too involved.  Will there be meetings?  I’d rather keep pace with the DVR than gather to review who’s presently been red-flagged.  I’ll just not purchase from any storefront whose primary product is gender dysphoria.

Liberals can’t comprehend lots of things, which in this case specifically means personal decisions about procuring stuff.  Like everything else, indignant liberal preeners think empty aisles at social justice-pimping stores are organized artificially.  But the audience is simply responding to incentives, which stands in defiance to one party’s platform.

Appealing to the public now applies to brands who’ve decided they need to flaunt ideologies.  Make a quality commodity available at a fair price and consumers will decide it’s worth the exchange.  By contrast, bottle a beer not fit to serve raccoons endorsed by a dude prancing around while flaunting the lamest stereotypes of women imaginable and wonder why delivery drivers don’t seem as busy.

Condescension takes different forms depending on bank balances.  Americans are officially fed up with a sermon accompanying buying.  Exhausted virtual mall walkers who look at stupid junk a company puts on exhibition and just decide they will keep credit cards holstered have made a loudly quiet statement.  Notice what isn’t being bought.

An organic process frightens control freaks who demand political oversight over every transaction for peace of mind.  You wouldn’t understand what good insurance includes, so economic wizard Joe Biden will select a caring plan on your behalf.

Present examples could be taught in business classes.  Bud Light says it’s a real beer, and I believe that as much as I do that its most prominent spokesperson switched sides.  The frat swill’s value remains diluted to the point that you’d think they had brewed it.

Meanwhile, Target just can’t stop stocking merchandise that guilt those looking for throwback t-shirts into tolerance. A display that’s designed to hector and not hawk leads to fewer dollars per customer than anticipated.

Your Doritos dealer wants to shame you for believing gender is predetermined.  Companies never realize that they could sit out divisive culture wars initiated by lunatics who oppose the one we presently have.  This particular battle can be waged by not fighting back.

Ignoring tantrums is the most peaceful path too victory.  Curiously self-righteous dry goods purveyors simply must share opinions about how the Supreme Court voted.  Making it slightly harder to kill babies outraged some vendors to the point they alienated those in opposition.  Enterprises that should welcome money from anyone instead ask that you take what keeps them afloat elsewhere.

Opponents of political lectures to those pushing shopping carts emphasize knowing your audience.  But avoiding forcing baffling notions should be universal.  Your business’s new fans won’t be expressing their fondness with acquisitions.  As with pretending an invasive government causing harm actually helps, the support is symbolic.  Leftists believe in patronizing of a different kind.

Entrepreneurial entities haven’t been harmed enough.  Ridiculous wages to stack shelves with costly goods that aren’t even available was just the start.  Chronic protesters never create anything worth advertising themselves.  Trying to shut even more storefronts is how Democrats finish the job.

The nastiness of organized assaults on particular commerce stands in contrast to getting socks somewhere other than the gender-bending swimsuit peddlers.   Blacklist hobbyists engage in perpetual maneuvers against Chick-fil-A for the crime of being Christian.  Picket any family member who attends regular church services while you’re at it.  Not splashing a rainbow over a logo through June is the woke religion’s unforgivable sin.  It takes quite a bit of vitriol to oppose alleged hate.  Giggling during the sermon will get you damned.

Simply resisting unscientific pernicious frenzies is labeled an act of defiance.  But we were just shopping.  Liberals hate open bartering because people decide what and what not to buy.  You’re not being guided by a carefully-elected professional, and such unhinged chaos leads to angry right-wingers driving past places that sell creepy reflections of grotesque adult delusions to kids.

Retailers are not obligated to offer anyone anything, which is the most offensive idea of all to leftists.  Your subversive autonomy prevents humanity from enjoying unity through very optional forced compliance.  Pesky dissent means a conglomerate could go the entire month without sharing a rainbow.  The worst blasphemy possible is permitted because of some amendment.  Legalities prevent us from all being eternally blissful through undisputed tolerance.

You can’t have your brats read anything different than what older whippersnappers once did, you book-burning censor.  Changing one’s mind about a reading list equals incineration.  Alleged bans are simply editorial discretion.  Deciding a different title may be more appropriate for a certain grade is the free market in action, and schools want to avoid teaching their charges to think for themselves.  Government is supposed to be the only option, which is the whole furtive point of public education.

Smirking about the right to not buy something is the only response from those who actually loathe the process.  The only time fans of the Cold War’s wrong side are interested in voluntary trade is when they can exploit it.  Such inherent selfishness explains why control freaks are so distrustful.  Possessing no useful skills to create something in return will drive the affected to compensate by dragging down others.

Everyone’s presently confused about how buying works on account of how there are so few examples on shelves paired with the de facto worthlessness of the paper slips used to obtain them.  But conglomerates should still know better.

Equating buying things with sanctimonious social media replies will not increase sales.  Swapping currency for woke approval better help the balance, as appeasing people with no earning power who’d never shop there fails to enhance profitability.  Leftist advocacy will never go far enough for anti-consumers who don’t believe in the process at all.  No longer carrying parachute pants is just one way to dodge playing along with cultural fads.

[metal-caregiver]

Looking for a caregiver 🌙

I've been seeing quite a few posts of people asking how they look for a caregiver, or wanting a caregiver. As a caregiver I thought it would be helpful to give some tips and my two cents in about the topic!

One of the most important steps when looking for a caregiver is safety. You need to know about yourself before you get to know a possible future caregiver. You have to know what you need from a caregiver, your boundaries and the things you like.

Please stay safe when joining matchmaking forums, or groups specifically for finding caregivers and littles. These places can be unsafe!

There's a lot of questions that should be asked when looking for a caregiver or little. Here's some questions to get you started! 

What nicknames do you like being called (are there any off limits?) 

Are you caring for anyone else? Do you think you would be a cg for multiple people in the future? How do you feel about your little having multiple cgs or babysitters?

Are you looking for a platonic, romantic or alterous relationship? 

How active are you online? *(sometimes time zone differences can be an issue)

Are you able to do things like - create schedules, check ins, chores, etc?

Boundaries- For the sake of keeping things short Ill put them into a few categories !

Physical: (This includes roleplay things like *hugs you* etc). Setting physical boundaries can be things like who can touch you, where, when, and how they touch you. This doesn't always have to be sexual. These can be hugs, head pats, holding hands, etc. 

Emotional: The things people say to and about you. Saying no to someone when they make you uncomfortable. Respecting time, space, privacy, and each others value. Emotional boundaries and communication are very important in any type of relationship.

Material: The things you and others give. As a caregiver I love to spoil my kiddos. But never use a caregiver just for them to buy things for you. Caregivers should also not be using you to buy them things. 

Boundaries are very important. If you're unsure about a boundary always ask! Ask twice, triple times if you have to. Ask for clarification, talk it over when you have concerns or questions. If you feel that something is wrong talk about it!!

Red flags (and what to look out for)  🚩

Theres lots of places to look for a caregiver (Instagram pages, Discord, Forms, Twitter and Tumblr). But theres many people there who are dangerous especially if you are a minor. Anyone can be groomed but minors are at higher risk with older caregivers and power imbalances. Always make sure that you stay within your age range. Someone who is 15 should not be a little or caregiver for someone who is 18. 3 years may not seem like a big difference but middle school and high school senior are in waaayyy different parts of life. 

Things to look out for

If they are an adult (18+) looking for minors 

If they force you to call them a certain title Calling someone a caregiver nickname is earned not a right. You never have to call someone a nickname you don't want to use

They use your regression against you. Example - they will ban you from regressing if you dont do what they want

They use cruel punishments (hitting, screaming, taking away safe items)

If they are sexual or nsfw (in regression - this doesnt include trauma or kink outside of regression as long as everyones adults) 

They ignore or disrespect your boundaries 

They ask for personal information before knowing you (families names, specific place you live, where you go to school)

Final notes - Caregivers are meant to make you feel safe and loved. I know it can be frustrating trying to find a caregiver but I promise there's someone out there. Even if they aren't a full time caregiver other littles and friends may be willing to help! You're not selfish for wanting what's best for you. 

[butwhatifidothis]

So if it is MEANT to be a villain route...Why are the villanous actions NEVER ADDRESSED by ANY of the characters outside of "Huh. I wonder if there was a better way to do this."

Why did they have Rhea go insane and torch a city? Why make potray Rhea as a villain when you could potray her as the hero whos genuinely trying to do good? Why have a majority of the characters still be able to be recruited regardless of if it makes sense? Why have the ending narration mostly be possible? WHY have Edelgard succeed and somehow turn her tyranny into a society that "ensures a free and independent society fot all."

If it's REALLY a villain route, why is there not a single character ending mentioning things like rebellions and conflict? Hell, the ending narration shows not a hint of villainy and potrays its ending as heroic.

"Embracing her newfound power, Edelgard could at last set about destroying Fódlan's entrenched system of nobility and rebuild a world free from the tyranny of Crests and status."

Again, if it was TRULY meant to be the villain route, it would have been POTRAYED as such. Instead of a villain route, we got "A route where one of the villains is made the protagonist and her views and villainous actions are never questioned OR addressed and outside of the conquest and starting the war, everyone is mostly happy."

Alright so this is going to seem like a nonserious answer, but I'm 100% serious when posting this image as part of a genuine answer to this question:

On CF, your actions are never addressed because of ignorance. On the surface, your actions seem like they've helped Fodlan, but as soon as the player looks any deeper it starts to become evident that something isn't right.

If Edelgard made a free and independent society for all, why are the people spied on in Hubert's ending with Dorothea? Why are rebellions secretly being put down in his ending with Shamir? That's not free, in a general sense or from specifically tyranny. That's a direct contradiction from two of the characters that can only be played on CF, and this is only found on CF.

Rhea is portrayed as a villain because she is Nabatean, and Edelgard hates Nabateans, and you are playing a route that emphasizes her ideals - which include wiping out all of the inhuman, bestial, vile, cruel Nabateans that have been plaguing humanity’s world. Rhea goes insane on CF because unlike all of the other routes, where the player and the lord never go out of their way to trample and spit on their enemies' trauma, that's what you are doing the entire time you play CF to Rhea - for months once Byleth returns, and that’s being extremely generous and not counting the entire war. You help drive Rhea and the other Nabateans away from their homes when taking over Garreg Mach - like Nemesis did to Rhea after the Red Canyon Massacre! You're helping someone try to kill off the rest of her people - like Nemesis did at Zanado! You're trying to kill Rhea with the Sword of the Creator, her mother's mutilated corpse - like Nemesis did! You're doing so with the descendent of Wilheim - spitting on the legacy of the one human Rhea could trust during the War of Heroes! You're literally recreating the single worst moment of Rhea's life, all so that you can help the one who views her as less than human.

Portraying Rhea as "the hero who's genuinely trying to do good" goes against Edelgard's viewpoint of all Nabateans being evil, and you're never meant to question Edelgard or make her change her beliefs. You as the player are actively discouraged from talking back to Edelgard, as she will noticeably get upset whenever you do - many times you will even lose support points with her, and this is especially bad for specifically Edelgard because you have to get to a certain support level with her to enter her route, with you having less chapters to do so because she won't talk to you until after Byleth achieves the Sword of the Creator in Chapter 4.

Look at how Rhea, Dimitri, and Claude are portrayed on CF. Rhea and Dimitri are demonized, while Claude is given some leeway from Edelgard. Now notice who of the three of them always speak their minds over Edelgard's villainy to her face, and which of the three of them bends to Edelgard's view of them as the bad guy. Dimitri and Rhea never allow themselves to bend to Edelgard - they call her out and call her actions evil. Claude, on the other hand, will remove himself from Fodlan and then afterwards make himself out to be a bad guy whom Edelgard managed to take down. He puffs up her ego, and he gets to live, while the two that don't must die. Edelgard is the one always out for the kill, and only by submitting to her is anyone allowed to live - which, I don’t think needs to be said, isn’t very heroic of her.

I've had my fair share of complaints over the characters that can be recruited over to CF, but even with those complaints... look at how those characters behave on CF. None of them are Felix levels of negative character development, but they all act noticeably worse on CF vs how they are on the other routes. To name some notable examples: Ignatz goes from wanting to paint Garreg Mach as it stood five years before to preserve its beauty to wanting to paint the violent downfall of the Alliance, Lysithea wants to abandon House Ordelia, which is in direct contrast to her core character motivation, Ingrid is willing to throw away her lifelong dream of being a knight of Faerghus, which she herself says is her spitting on her dead betrothed’s dreams, Leonie works with Jeralt’s killers, etc. etc.. And mind, CF is the route that locks out the most units - there's the obvious ones like Dedue and Gilbert who were already route exclusive, but then there's Seteth and Flayn, Catherine, Cyril, and Hilda. CF is the only route to have even non-exclusive units be completely unavailable no matter what.

Edelgard doesn't make a society that is "free," like I said above - having a secret police monitor the people's actions, or is ready to put down anyone who tries to rise up against her, is literally the opposite of free. Edelgard can and will ban plays she doesn't like - not free. Edelgard only allows state-sanctioned religion, if she does allow it - not free.

CF is a route that wants to make the player believe the lie that you're not the villain, because you are playing from the perspective of someone who herself doesn't think she's the villain, but like. Look at what you're doing. You're invading two countries for the express, explicit purpose of taking them over and making them your own. You're working with someone who's been trying to reunite Fodlan back under Adrestia as early as the prologue when she tried to have Dimitri and Claude assassinated. You're helping TWS. Your Imperial presence makes Church people flee - which, given that Edelgard wants Rhea and those involved with the Church dead, I don't blame them. You're working with someone who is starving her people so that she can carry on with her war.

CF lies to the player - Edelgard lies, constantly. She says she's willing to let Rhea live, but literally the scene before she says she seeks to fuckin' Exodia Rhea. She lies about Arianrhod. She lies - or is flat-out wrong, which isn't much better - about the Church hoarding wealth and about the Church splitting up the Empire. She lies about not knowing about TWS pre-ts. She helps spread the lie of Duscur being the ones who killed Lambert. She lied about not knowing where Flayn was when she was kidnapped. She lies to her people by making them believe she’s making the orders during the war, not Byleth. There's a student who doubts all of what Edelgard says right before the timeskip happens and who isn't sure about his decision to stay, and then there’s a man who calls Edelgard “a tricksy one” on the last explore section for lying about attacking the Kingdom capitol. She’s wrong about the history of Nemesis and Seiros, calling Nemesis killing all of Rhea’s family a “simple dispute.” She lies to her people about an entire war against a group who just a little bit ago were her allies. Lies and ignorance are staple points to CF as a route, it’s baked into it, so the idea of the CF going “oh no you totally are the good guys” literally as the city burns down around the players doesn’t come from nowhere.

And like... the ending narration “shows not a hint of villainy?” Um.

Her stepping on the flags of the Alliance and Church? Her recreating a painting of Napoleon - that little known imperialist - down to the hand of justice? Her denouncing gods constantly and then being ushered in by a statue with heavy resemblance to Nike, Goddess of victory? Hubert plotting away from the sight of the rejoicing people? Yeah, there’s a lot of hints to villainy.

Again, CF isn’t “portrayed” as a villain route because it’s you falling for the lies of Edelgard. You have a wool over your eyes. You accept everything Edelgard says as fact, even when she actively contradicts herself - sometimes as radically as in back-to-back scenes. You view yourself as a savior to humanity, even when you plunge it into darkness. You don’t think you’re the villain, so your actions aren’t going to be put in an explicitly villainous light - at least, not by anyone on your side.

This post showcases the difference between non-recruited characters fighting non-CF!Byleth vs CF!Byleth. Characters are mostly saddened by having to fight Byleth in the former, while they are mostly betrayed on CF. Byleth is very clearly seen as being wrong for having sided with Edelgard on CF by the non-recruited characters - Edelgard’s actions may not be directly criticized (save for by Dimitri and a few others), but it makes no sense for these characters to be this shocked and betrayed by Byleth siding with her if her actions were so good. Leonie deadass calls you a traitor to Jeralt, Ingrid says that you are not fit to rule Fodlan specifically for siding with Edelgard and the Empire after all she and they have done, and Dimitri questions you as to why you chose Edelgard and her “savage, bloody path,” just to name a few notable examples. You, as the player, are being criticized for siding with Edelgard. You say that the villainous actions are “NEVER ADDRESSED by ANY of the characters,” but what else are these reactions but characters addressing your villainous actions?

And like... “a route where one of the villains is the protagonist” bro that’s a villain route. Like. I’m not trying to be mean, but I am genuinely confused as to what you were trying to get at here.

Like. In a vacuum? I might can get the idea of CF not being a villain route a little better, were it the only route available (though even that is a very big stretch). But you have three whole other routes where there’s no conquest, there’s no working with TWS, there’s no using Demonic Beasts, there’s no killing/exiling the remaining (immediately known) Nabateans, there’s no continuous and long-standing lies that never get outed, the lords never stay flat out wrong about the events of the game, non-recruited characters aren’t shooting Byleth up the ass with accusations of being a traitorous lemming who’d follow Edelgard off a cliff... and they achieve peace. Those endings, with Dimitri Claude and “Rhea” (SS ain’t really her route even though it should’ve been but ye), lack the following in any of their endings:

Censorship

Spying on the people

Constantly putting down rebels in secret

State-sanctioned religion

(mind, this last one is in direct contradiction to CF’s ending narration that says that Church is destroyed)

None of this happens on AM, VW, and SS. They all have peaceful endings. They all have Fodlan see the light of dawn, and that is never contradicted in their endings. CF is the only route to have all of these things happen in it - I think that’s enough for it to be considered a villain route lol

[dreamhot]

Lee, what do I do...

I just read up on the Sky does Minecraft situation, and now I feel... Both sick but severely conflicted.

Sky got me through one of the harder times in my life, not the worst, but not the best, and now all that's come forward, how am I supposed to deal?

Can I trust anyone online anymore? What if dream is just like him and I'll pour my heart and soul into adoring something only for it to come out and be absolutely awful... Can I get some advice/reconciliation???

all right so - this got a bit (very) long and discusses some sensitive topics so i'm gonna put it under a cut

it's never easy when this happens. obviously there are varying levels of creator sins - sometimes entirely contained with the cc's social life, and other times involving the fans. either way, there are few feelings like the gut punch of finding out that someone you looked up to isn't a great person. it's like the ground crumbling out from under you. yeah, we don't know the ccs, but we still trust them to be decent people. so when they're not ... that trust is broken.

the first thing you'll always hear is that we shouldn't put anyone on a pedestal. of course that's a given, but that doesn't mean that we can't be disappointed by someone even if we didn't expect them to be perfect. definitely recognise that the people we follow are flawed - especially since we'll never see the entire extent of their personalities or personal lives - but don't feel bad for expecting basic morality either. that's just common sense.

i think one of the best first steps - in a general situation, not specifically this one - is to evaluate the nature of the situation and do your fact checking. how severe was the offense? are there concrete details or only hearsay? are we talking 'i don't support their actions, but i can still watch their content' or is it more 'this is so deplorable that i'm no longer comfortable engaging at all'? bear in mind your personal comfort level and that of victims who might be affected by the situation. compassion goes a long way here.

from a personal standpoint, i followed tobuscus, ryan haywood from achievement hunter, and another (non youtube) figure with a muddy history. i've been through assorted tiers of creator scandals and on the sidelines for others - for example, i never watched cry, but i had friends who loved his content dearly and were shattered when the news came out. it feels almost like mourning... and it is grief, in a way. we lost something that was a comfort to us, something that brought us happiness. that source of joy has effectively died, and it makes sense that we would feel the pain of loss.

and it always creates the worry you mentioned - what if it happens again? what if i trust another figure and they let me down like this? you almost want to tell yourself that you won't let yourself get in that deep again, because it hurts so much worse when you let yourself be that invested. it's the double-edged sword of parasocial relationships - the more you care, the harder it hits you when something falls through. that much is inevitable.

the thing is ... it sucks not to care. it's in many of our natures to see the best in others. when a cc brings us joy, we're going to be passionate about that interest and assume that they won't let us down. and, honestly, i don't think it's wrong to keep that faith even when someone else has hurt you. of course you might be cautious or even wary. of course you might be hypersensitive to potential red flags or worried that the ball is going to drop at some point. i think any of us who went through this sort of upset are familiar with that anxiety - what if [current fixation] is next?

but we don't have to assume the worst, especially when we haven't been given cause to do so. trust me when i say i was extremely wary of dream before i joined the fandom (i mean, i didn't like the guy for a while lmao). the cry-adjacent branding, the encouragement of parasocialism within the fanbase... it made me nervous. but actually following his content and hearing what he has to say has put so many of those old fears to rest.

(the cry stuff is admittedly unfortunate, but the branding also happened before the situation was made public, so i'm willing to let that slide. however, i respect the reticence of anyone who was more invested in cry's content before everything happened - i can understand that anxiety, even if i don't think it's merited here.)

sure, dream openly cherishes his fans, but he's also notably good at maintaining communication boundaries. when he engages with the fandom, we see it. i'd even wager he has less direct interaction with individual fans than he used to, which is a good move when your popularity reaches a certain magnitude. he loves his audience, but imo there's still a clear line dividing his personal life from that of his creator persona - not that i would call his public face ingenuine, but hopefully you know what i mean.

dream's not so bubblegum perfect that it seems like a facade, but neither does he behave in a way that sets off any alarm bells. of course it's true that we can be blindsided by shitty behaviour - because we can never know their whole lives, sometimes bad news will seemingly come out of nowhere. with dream, though, i've allowed myself to have faith in his character. he's fallible, yes - he's only human - but i've not yet seen anything that would lead me to believe that we'll get a horrid bombshell one of these days.

and, while it's sad that we can use this as a point of reassurance... people want to defame him. there are those who constantly seek to find evidence of him being a shitty human being - even going so far as to straight up lie about him to tarnish his name. nothing he does goes unscrutinised, and i feel as though we would know if something was amiss. the fact that nothing meaningful has been dug up by bloodhound antis is a fucked up sort of relief, i guess.

dream's just a guy. he loves his cat and his family and his friends. he has his own history, messy or otherwise with all the high moments and low. he's flawed, but who isn't? the difference between him and others who have let me down in the past is that i believe him when he says he wants to be a good person and make people smile.

i care a lot about him - so much so that if something happened, i would feel beyond crushed. but i have to go with my vibes on this one, and he doesn't cause me to worry. he makes me happy, and if he makes you happy as well, i would try to embrace that feeling. take care of yourself, but don't let yourself shut out the potential for caring just because someone else failed you. there are always going to be good people, ones worthy of our support and affection. and, god willing, dream is always going to be one of them.

<3

[floralovebot]

After that horrible tiktok passed around and seeing the various reactions to it, I've realized that a scary amount of people don't know how to look for red flags in therapists. As someone who has a lot of fear surrounding bad therapists, I thought I'd share some of my tips! This post won't go into how to find a therapist, I'm mainly talking about how to look for red flags (and green flags)!

Once you find a therapist you're interested in seeing, your first step should always be to look for their online presence and any reviews about them. That means searching their name on Google, Twitter, Tiktok, literally everywhere. Look for websites they own or are listed on and check to see what socials are connected to them! Basically, you want to see what they're putting online and what others are saying about them.

On a similar note, if the therapist is working for a company and doesn't run their own business, look for reviews about the company as well. That includes former employee statements, client reviews, etc.

If you find social media accounts run by them, here are some red flags to look for: Do they share personal stories or make examples out of their clients? A good therapist does not share what their clients say, especially online where anyone could see it. Do they talk about their clients to other people (including online)? A general rule of thumb is, "what happens in the office, stays in the office". Therapists should not be talking about their clients to anyone but the client themself. The only exception to this rule is if the client poses harm to themself or others, the therapist suspects abuse, a court orders a subpoena, or you're a minor and your parent(s)/legal guardians request information. If it's not one of these, the therapist should not be disclosing what you say to others.

Do they often talk about themselves or rarely let you interject? Therapists are all different so some may be open to answering things about themselves while others would prefer you know nothing about them. However, a therapist should not be talking about themselves constantly nor should they be the only ones talking in a session (even if they're talking about you). This is a two or more way interaction and the clients need to speak just as much and maybe even more than the therapist (how much depends on you and method of therapy). Be on the lookout for a therapist never letting you speak, rarely asking questions or prompting more from you, or never paying attention to what you're saying. (On the other hand, make sure you're not speaking over them or never letting them speak either! Remember, two-way street.)

You should (and need) to be able to talk about therapy processes and what you can expect from them in the future! If the therapist dodges this conversation or seems unwilling to answer, that's a red flag.

A therapist should never judge you or be critical of your personal choices. Remember, you're speaking to them so they can help you, not judge you. Ideally, a therapist shouldn't be easily upset by what you have to tell them. Obviously, things can be upsetting (that's why therapists have their own therapists!), but getting emotional can affect the client and their progress.

They don't attempt to calm you down or derail the situation when you get amped up. I get it, you want to talk about everything, I get it. But a good therapist will stop you if there isn't enough time or they feel like you'll be going home hurt and stressed. Again, their job is to help you. Part of that help is making sure you can still function throughout your life even after a session with them. A red flag is a therapist letting you leave feeling weak, upset, and worse off than you were before.

Listen to your gut. I know some people don't believe in gut feelings, but they happen for a reason (and there's science behind it, I suggest reading up on it!). If you feel like a therapist isn't right for you, listen to that! If you deal with anxiety or paranoia and you're doubting that feeling, bring that up with someone you do trust and take them through what happened and what was said in a session. They may be able to help calm your nerves! At the end of the day, it's better safe than sorry.

I know it can be frustrating, but it may take you a minute to find the right therapist for you. Ideally, your first session with them should be more of a consultation. Of course, you absolutely can get right into it and start talking about what you need to talk about! But also remember that the therapist is there to help you and that progress can be hindered if you realize later on that they're not the right fit. So, talk about what you need to talk about, but also pay attention to make sure they're the right therapist for you.

So, what green flags should you look for? Being able to freely ask questions about their credentials and specialties! Being able to bring up switching therapists without them feeling upset or betrayed (and taking it out on you). Being able to ask questions about therapy types and what their thoughts are about what could help you now and in the future. Being able to talk about everything without feeling scared or judged. Being able to share doubts with current therapy type(s)/homework and coming up with something that will work better. Being able to talk about other things (like interests, how your day went, a movie you just saw, etc) without them dismissing it or pushing you to talk about what's upsetting you before you're ready.

Another tip that I couldn't quite fit into the rest of this is, you need to look for cultural diversity in your therapist. If you're a person of color seeing a white therapist, it doesn't matter how good of a therapist they are, there will always be things they don't inherently understand about racism or the trauma and stress that comes with it, and therefore there will always be things they can't help you cope with. The same goes for if you're lgbtq+, of a certain religion, etc. Just make sure that the therapist is either from a similar background or at the very least is open about being an ally (so if you're lgbtq+, you'll want to look for "lgbtq+ friendly" or something similar, if you're black, you'll want to find a black therapist, or at least a therapist of color, etc).

Unfortunately, these aren't all the red flags but they should help you. There are a lot of bad and underqualified therapists out there, but therapy as a whole can be extremely helpful for your life. There's a lot of misconceptions out there as well which don't help with people's general hesitance about it. I hope this post can help someone! Feel free to add on with more tips!