#if anyone wants a special treat turn down everything but the voice volume during the lake scene in DE

[krillonthegrill]

upsetting that Sean Diaz and Alex Chen are the only LiS protags to have been gravely injured, so now i need to see Max Caulfield half-dead and covered in blood

[jimmy-j-james]

REPLACEMENT

- M!reader x TF!141 (more so reader x Soap, platonic style)

- Proofread: Nope (Will be soon)

- Genre: Angst/Comfort (Originally wasn’t gonna be comfort, I was in an angsty mood and it shows)

- Synopsis: M!reader had to come to terms with the fact that new was better than old. Being tossed aside like an older dog when a family gets a puppy. Kicked to the curb and left alone. Of course, a certain ‘puppy’ just wanted the other’s attention and respect..

- Pt. 2

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It wasn’t uncommon for people to turn back to their roots. Of course not. But.. for a whole group to regress to the mindset of a child? “Out of sight, out of mind.”, that’s what they say, right?

How stupid did he have to be to not notice? He noticed the first day it started. Soap was happily welcomed to the team, treated with such care and love despite his recent joining. And, much to his disliking, he was left alone.

No one was checking in on him anymore, instead all attention went to the new guy. ‘He wasn’t special’, he’d bitterly think, ‘I was alone too’. Not that anyone cared though, of course not, he was perfectly able to handle himself after all. Instead, they paid mind to their new young and foolish sergeant.

It didn’t end there either. His daily encounters with Ghost were stolen, being replaced with Soap. Training with Gaz? Soap was there instead of him. Smoking with Price? He was there too.

It never ended. And the breaking point, as foolish as it was, was the moment he headed to the mess hall for lunch. The teams regular booth was filled, only his spot taken by the rookie.

He knew it was childish. He could have easily dragged a seat over, but it seemed that no one noticed his lack of appearance anyways. He took it as a word from above. He was better off alone.

He didn’t need them anyways. He was perfectly fine with this new routine. Perfectly capable of fending for himself.

He started avoiding them. Removing himself from their lives as if he’d never been there. His schedules shifted, eating within his room, and locking himself away. He trained late at night to avoid others, slept during his moments of free time.

His new habits proved awful for his mind and body, but they worked. Seemingly so, no one even noticed he was gone. They lived their lives with the new guy. Replaced and forgot him with so much ease it hurt.

It felt suffocating. Knowing the people he thought of as family, felt nothing of similarity. It had him wondering so many things. Thoughts he wouldn’t wish upon his greatest enemies.

It never ended. And irregular habits went to unhealthy in a matter of days. He stopped eating as much. Barely slept. Trained until failure in all aspects.

He took everything out on himself. A shell of a man that used to be. It got to the point that he was without care. Life didn’t seem to matter in the case of ‘life or death’.

In his eyes, death had never seemed so welcoming. Like the arms of a loving parent. Coaxing the words of admiration in a tempting manner.

In a blind sighted manner, he craved the release his demise promised. The satisfaction of feeling wanted, no matter what called upon him.

Perhaps, this is the fate he was meant for? He proved his worth, and was denied any sense of reward. But maybe, maybe death was rewarding enough.

Awaiting his chance of freedom, he lied on his bedroom floor. His phone lied idly, playing music he chose to ignore over his own taunting beliefs.

“Sergeant (l/n)?” That voice, one he’s grown to mindlessly hate, calls through the door. It’s followed by a hesitant knock. “Team’s goin’ out drinkin’, thought ya would wanna come..”

It’s clear by his tone that he’s hesitant, or at most anxious. Likely forced down here by the pity of the other’s.

Perhaps if he remained silent the Scotsman would leave him alone. Lowering the volume of his phone and keeping quiet.

“I.. I know yer in there, if it’s worth anythin’ to ya..” The moment is awkward, but he refuses to give up his moments of peace for a pity party. “Ya don’t have to.. just thought it might be awfully lonely in there.”

“Rather not.” He doesn’t even remember allowing himself to speak, body against mind as he shuffles up to sit.

“Oh..” Another awkward minute of silence. “Is it ‘cause o’ me? I didn’t mean to upset you, however I did so..”

“Don’t you have a ‘party’ to get to?” His tone is bitter in reply, though his truth is sorrowful.

“Ay… can I,” He pauses to hesitate “can I come in?”

The man pauses his self pitying, turning to face the door behind himself. He’s sure the boy would have left by now, though he’s proven determined.

Soap feels awkward, shifting weight between legs as he stands on the other side. The door opens, slowly, but surely, revealing the mess of a man before him.

It’s hard to hide his grimace, scanning over his mutual sergeant with concern. He’s thinner, and paler, with heavy bags beneath his eyes. No expression is shown on his face. A hollow show of what used to be.

“You…” Soap cuts himself before he can speak, though it’s clear the other understood.

A frown tugs lightly at his lips, biting against the skin of his cheek as he avoids the Scots eyes. “Yeah.. whatever…”

“Do.. do ya want to watch a movie?” The request is simple, but proves to be shocking as the other snaps his eyes to Soap’s.

“Aren’t you meant to be drinking tonight?” He muses, expecting the sergeant to remember and run along.

Instead, Soap pushes his way into the room and breathily chuckles. “They ‘on’t need me.” He replies, taking a seat on the messy bed.

There’s a smile on his face as he watches Soap, whether he knows it or not, he’s happy. For once more in his life, he feels wanted. Soap chose his presence over the team’s.

“Can.. can we watch Ratatouille? It’s dumb.. but I always watch it when ‘m upset..” He’d mutter, shutting the door before dropping himself down on the bed.

Soap’s smile grows soft, something he’d yet to seen in the boisterous Scot. “O’ course we can. I’ll get us some snacks, fancy anything specific?”

“Anything works..” He mumbles softly, rubbing against tired eyes as he sets up the movie on his laptop. Soap nods, leaving for the commons room before returning.

Within his arms he carried varieties between chips, candies, and beverages. A goofy smile on his face as he sits himself back beside the other.

With the movie started, and a share of snacks between them, he grows rather exhausted. His eyelids droop and his attention shifts blank. Without thought his head drops against Soap’s shoulder.

The Scot welcomes the other, smiling softly as he shifts them both to lie more comfortably. He was glad. Glad to see that his newly favourited comrade was growing relaxed in his presence.

Like a new puppy and an older dog. Soap worked to grow close to the man he looked up to, and the other worked to better accept the Scot’s company. But, despite their differences, they grew to form a pack, in a sense.

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© Copyright @jimmy-j-james, 2023

All rights reserved

do not copy/paste, claim as your own, post on different sites, or translate without prior consent from me

[itsgaga]

A-Z NSFW(Nikki Sixx)

this is my third time writing this so please excuse how bad it may or may not sound

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

At first Nikki wasn’t good with aftercare, he was used to being really selfish during and after sex so when it came to you he didn’t really know what to do afterwards. After you guys had done it a couple times you had explained to him why aftercare was important which ultimately changed how he treated you after sex. He slowly became more caring and affectionate wanting to cuddle with you, get you whatever you want/need, and he will clean you off.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Nikki fucking loves your legs and your neck, your legs though, like dude is obsessed with them. There's something about them that makes Nikki feel a certain type of way, as for your neck...it’s a jealous possessive thing. He loves to mark you up, especially when he is jealous, so your neck is the easiest place to go to. 

As for himself, he’ll tell you his dick. Mostly because that thing can do wonders. It pleases you, it pleases himself, what is there not to love about it? 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Nikkis cum is everywhere. It’s that simple. He wants it everywhere. The fucking sight of it afterwards is like a piece of art to him, idk why he’s like that, he’s a filthy dude, ok? I mean like yeah cumming in you or somewhere on your is fine but no this man just loves being dirty and getting it everywhere. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He doesn’t really have much, he’s a open book, he’ll tell you everything he likes and wants to do but maybe that he loves to fuck in public because he wants to get caught. You guys haven’t got caught yet but Nikki really wants you to, like if you ever notice Nikki will extra loud in public it’s for that reason.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Hello? He’s Nikki fucking Sixx. What do you think?

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary. He loves to watch your face and your reactions while he’s fucking you. It could also tie in with that jealous side of him knowing that no other guy would see you like that, knowing that what he is doing is putting you in your most vulnerable state it all just turns him on even more.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Nikki is a fiend. Nikki is not a saint. At least during sex, meaning Nikki is serious as can be. He’s all about devouring you and wants to do it better than how he did last time so he has no time to be goofy. But, there are those rare moments where that all disappears and he becomes softer and more gentle, like he will hold your hand and smile, that could happen for special things like birthdays or just when he wants to be more romantic. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He didn’t groom that shit at all for the first couple times yall fucked, but he started to around the same time aftercare became a thing. As for color it pretty much matches the rest of his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Like I said he has his moments, it’s not like he doesn’t like to be romantic with you he just feels like it would be even more special if that side of him came out at more special times.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don’t think so. I think Nikki is always horny and he’s kind of learned to just deal with it but if he can’t and you aren’t there to help him out he would call you and get off with phone sex.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Spanking, choking, and roleplay. Theres a lot more like wax play, bondage, etc etc. But I think spanking, choking, and roleplay comes mostly everytime you guys fuck, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh he loves when you call him daddy. He likes when you sound like a needy whiny mess. Oh and Nikki is a dom no doubt, you can take control sometimes but he is a whole other level of dominant. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Tour bus, dressing room, hotel rooms, closets, bedrooms, cars, really anywhere. I think he likes bedrooms because thats where the kinky stuff can happen but he likes a challenge and will try that stuff in public. He has tried to fuck you over every piece of furniture, couch, counter, desk, etc. Like I said earlier he loves to fuck in public so... expect that anywhere you go. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

What doesn’t though? Nikki’s jealousy will get you bent over a piece of furniture in .5 seconds. Nikki after a concert is him running off stage and pulling you in the closest room possible. Whisper in his ear or talk in a lower tone then your natural talking voice and you two are in bed. Like it doesn’t take much from you to turn him on. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Threesomes or Voyeurism. Like I said Nikki is jealous/possessive. No sharing. I think the idea of it would turn him on until it actually happens and he would end up getting up really jealous.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

The dude is a fucking god. He loves receiving but giving? You won’t be able to walk. So he likes both receiving and giving. receiving because he loves to see you on your knees for him and the way you look at him while your giving head, while giving he loves to hear the way you sound, the way you taste, and the way your body reacts to him and his tongue.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough. “The faster you go the more orgaisms you can get in a night, the slower you go the less you get in the same amount of time” idk. NIKKI LOVES ROUGHNESS, like seriously he is not a easy simple cum and go guy. He’s a i’m gonna fuck you so hard that you’re gonna cum 10 times by morning type of guy.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If he’s horny and you’re there then you’re having a quickie, he prefers to have time to fuck but honestly you both get horny at the mist random times so it just has to be done. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Hahaha, yes. Anything you wanna try Nikki is down. I’m serious anything, anything at all he will say yes, he’s always looking to try new things with you especially things he hasn’t done with anyone else before.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Night to morning. Morning to night. Idk maybe. I think he will keep going until either you or him say you can’t handle it anymore. But as for rounds I would say 4 to 6 maybe a half an hour to a hour long.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I think he has some, not as much as one may think but I feel like he may have a couple vibrators, bondage, some plugs, dildos, blindfolds, handcuffs. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

BIGGEST FUCKING TEASE. He loves teasing the shit out of you. Will have you so close to having a orgaism and then pull away with a big stupid fucking grin on his face.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He won’t make a sound until he leans down to your ear and will start grunting and moaning, it drives you wild and he knows it which is why he does it everytime you guys fuck. He has and always will do that unless you’re in public then there’s no stopping whats coming out his mouth.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves dirty talk, but mostly from you. It’s the only time you have ever actually seen Nikki visibly weak. He especially loves when you do it and look at him innocently, it really pushes him to a limit that no other woman has before.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Now from the pictures that I totally haven’t seen ;) he isn’t small but he isn’t huge. I think he’s a grower not a shower which is fine, he knows what he is doing and knows how to use it right.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He could take you anywhere, anytime, anyday. He’s ready whenever he’s just waiting for you to be ready too.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a little longer to fall asleep then it does to you so while you’re asleep and just lays there cuddling you wondering how you went from whatever he was just fucking into a soft innocent looking angel.

[17caratssi]

Wonwoo! Will you stay

Jeon Wonwoo! First short series pt one | two | three | four Wonwoo is a new student of Sejong High. Coming from a low-status family, he always keeps himself aloof, isolated and cares less about anyone. However, his effort to lie low during the first day goes down the drain.

10th July

The chill breeze greets the morning, awaken the sleepy eyes. Cars are in the line to drop the students at the entrance. The young faces radiate with smiles as they chat about what's filled their summer holiday.

New semester and the entrance of highly anticipated new students into Sejong Elite High School.

Every year, Sejong High will take in new students in the second half. While the school only accepts kids with upper-class family backgrounds in the prefecture, the special students are usually first-class newcomers or scholarship privileged.

Everyone knows when a new student is enrolled with a scholarship. They are distinct from others who are registered under their family's status. They just know.

These smart students are the minority, and more often than not, their voices would not be heard by the higher-ups when they are bullied. It's like these few people have to walk on the icy pond. Everything is at stake.

Jeon Wonwoo is a lucky guy. He made it to the school, albeit coming from a poor family in a rural area. He has 6 siblings, and he is the oldest. The breadwinner in the house has disappointed them and left the family 2 years ago, leaving everything in Wonwoo's hands.

However, the only good thing about his father is his peculiar gene, and that's how Wonwoo ends up getting all A's despite all the external shortfalls.

He lacks time at school, and he would sleep during lectures. Having no friends, he is always a step behind the others. He makes no effort to befriend anybody, and he cares less about it.

Wonwoo walks to his class that is on the highest floor and only at the top. He learns that there's transportation, called the elevator, to bring students between the levels.

"Isn't summer just ended? Why is he sweating in this air-conditioned environment?" a girl with her friend makes a remark as they arrive at their class. The friend chuckles and scans Wonwoo and quickly realizes.

"No wonder, it's a nerdy~."

"Oof. I hope he's not our classmate," the two of them laugh girlishly.

Wonwoo listens but pays no heed to them. He continues to search for his class until he finds the match.

Damn, this stupid school is big...

Wonwoo's solitude would have him go unnoticed the whole day. As such, he uses the back door to come into the class. He looks around before he grabs a vacant chair. As he tugs the chair, the screeching sound stimulates the other's interest. Suddenly, the class gets heated up by the behaviour of the new student.

Murmurs here and there. Boys and girls are all talking about him.

There are only 3 new students; a girl from overseas, a boy whose father is a 'sangsa', and an ordinary boy who benefitted from a scholarship.

[Sangsa is a Korean military rank equivalent to an American master sergeant.]

The talk goes on for so long that Wonwoo gets sleepy from the attention he received. It's probably half an hour later, the sliding door is slammed open.

Wonwoo startles due to the loud noise made by you. He squints his eyes and watches as you walk to your desk, which is nowhere to be found. You are a new student as well.

It's normal for the new face to directly go to the back of the class, so you can instantly tell that the lonely, cute guy is a newcomer.

"You new?" You ask.

Fox is your first impression of him.

Wonwoo nods slightly. You also nod in acknowledgement and takes a chair next to him to sit. You extent a hand for a handshake but get no response from him. You take it as him being timid to new people and brush it off.

"I'm Y/N. You?"

He frowns. 10 seconds later, he speaks. "Do you talk to strangers?"

"You don't?" You ask in curiosity. "Oh, maybe cultural difference?"

Probably, but Wonwoo has no experience dealing with a girl. A bold one in specific.

"So, what's your name?"

Did she get it or not? She'll stop if I ignore her, right? Just like the others...

You don't stop looking at Wonwoo. He is handsome, and you admit that his nose is quite adorable.

"Can I touch your nose?" you ask with your finger already touching the thing.

Wonwoo's surprise look entertains you. He glares at you, and that alone makes you withdraw your finger.

"Are you dense or something?" Wonwoo comments and realizes that his accent is exposed.

You, a Korean practically spending most of her life in America, can't fathom his scolding but take in that he is angry. Sheepishly, you purse your lips and apologize. "Sorry, I sometimes act on impulse. It's just that your nose is boopable..." your voice slows down in volume in the second half.

I'm sorry, but not really...

However, Wonwoo suddenly stands up and drags his chair away from you.

Being treated that way, you impudently raised your voice, asking. "Where are you going?"

And yet, he still pretends to be deaf and shun you off.

Wonwoo settles down at the opposite corner. Noticing the non-existent desks for you and him, you voice out.

"Is there no desks for us? I thought you guys are prepared to take the new students but I guess not," your hands akimbo and lips mumbling complaint.

The whole class turns their heads to you, except Wonwoo.

"The new kid is sure cranky. It's not anyone's job to prepare you a desk," a guy in the front seat retort as he turns around.

His seatmate laughs and agrees without speaking.

The guy deliberately speaks out loud, but it seems that you don't catch at it. The former snickers and resumes playing with his phone.

Thank goodness, the desks are being delivered just before the class by the clerks. They arrange for the two desks to be placed side-by-side at the far left of the class.

You choose the left side since it's beside the window, and Wonwoo cannot help but pick the remaining. You like the positioning, but it goes for the opposing to him.

You smile as you watch Wonwoo creates a gap between their desks. He then continues to persistently act like you aren't there pestering him.

The lesson soon begins.

Actually, you find it difficult to adapt to the new environment. During the math class, you're the only one that takes out a calculator, and during the interval, it's also you who takes a nap.

It makes you pout. There's nothing to keep you excited apart from the person next to you.

You look to your right and see Wonwoo studying with his glasses on. His glasses are of the old model, but it looks good on him. You don't know why this guy just attracts your attention that you blurt out the next second.

"Hey, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

If you like this story, you might as well check out the others here !

[utterlyinevitable]

NSFW alphabet for ethan x mc??

I’m assuming you’re referring to the nsfw alphabet otp asks? 

If so, Ethan x Odette are below the cut!

Aftercare: What they’re like after sex Odette likes to lay around and cuddle for no longer than five minutes. After which she’ll hop up, trying not to make a bigger mess, and pad to the bathroom to pee and shower.  Ethan definitely likes to relish in their closeness no matter who’s on top. As their relationship progresses and Odette relaxes a bit more, he actually likes to clean her up afterwards. He’ll kiss her forehead before he leaves her laying there to grab a wet cloth and wipe them both up gently, all the while looking down at her with glittering eyes and a private smile. 

Body part: Their favorite body part of theirs and of their partner’s   Odette loves her long, naturally straight hair and her tiny ears. She loves Ethan’s dimple and a beauty mark he has on his left ring finger.  He doesn’t have a favorite part of his body. It’s a body. It functions. But if he had to choose it may as well be his toned calves. Ethan really loves her boobs, but his absolute favorite part of her is the glow of her emerald eyes of her brightest smile.

Cum: Use your imagination for this one aha (what are they like when they finish, how do they feel about their partner’s cum/face, etc) Ethan’s face changes each time with the varying degree of his orgasm - if it’s a deep and good one his entire face scrunches together and he breathlessly curses. The one constant in every orgasm is the way his nose scrunches and jaw slacks into the sexiest “0″ face. His deep, ragged breaths so erotic.  Odette tries to hide her face - she hates how ugly it looks to the point that in the early stages she’d really try to keep herself from coming. But Ethan’s a giver and all it took was his loving gaze and a soft “i want to see you” as he tugged her arm off her face for her to not give a shit. The sex is fucking fantastic.  Ethan thinks she’s absolutely breathtaking, and Odette adores how young he looks. They both appreciate the others vulnerability.  

Dirty Secret: Do they have any secrets that would come to light during sex (not kinks) Ummm... Odette has a weird relationship with intimacy. She’s not about it, not really. She’s got to be in the right mood for sex or any sort of touching. She gets better as the relationship progresses, which is why she doesn’t sleep with someone until she’s sure they’re going to be around long-term. Usually, with her last few partners, her rule has been 6 months dating before sex. She made an exception for the rule with Ethan (just shy of 5 month mark).   For Ethan it would just be that he hasn’t been intimate with anyone in about two years by the time the two get together. 

Experience: How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing? Odette knows her way around a body. She’s only had two sexual partners besides Ethan, but the girl knows where everything goes and really can a girl really be bad at sex?  Ethan has ten years more experience than Ode and a total of 11 sexual partners. He’s a giver and has gotten very good at perfecting his tongue technique. He knows he’s relatively easy when it comes to finishing so it’s always about his partner.  

Favorite Position (Bonus horny points for including a visual) Too lazy to get a visual. Ode likes to be fucked against a wall, and Ethan prefers to have her on top. 

Goofy: Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc They take turns depending on who’s initiating and where they are lol but Ethan is usually the goof.  Ode likes to tease Ethan and throw little remarks his way for foreplay. Ethan is mostly more sultry and praising in the moment. He jokes back with her, matching her banter like always. 

Hair: How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc. Odette is completely hairless. She’s had all her hair lasered off, except for a patch of her bush where she likes to keep the option open. She bleaches her hair so her pubic hair is a dark blonde.  Ethan scapes pretty well. He’s never had any complaints. 

Intimacy: How are they during the moment, romantic aspect… Odette likes romance. She actually needs it to get anything out of the act. She’s not one to be able to separate sex and her feelings. She needs mental stimulation to help get her off whether it be dimmed lights and closed eyes or Ethan talking dirty. When she’s really trying to catch an orgasm that seems like it’ll never come her way she tends to be a bit removed from the moment than Ethan would like.   Ethan is very much present and very tuned into her needs. It is all and always about her. Sometimes he’s much to selfless in the bedroom for her liking. Like, when she knows she’s not gonna cum that session he doesn’t really accept that and keeps drawling it out. And then she’s gotta pull out a secret weapon to finish him off and not hurt his feelings. These two never lack intimacy - they both make sure it’s always present. Their favorite positions are the ones where they’re facing and can look and leave lingering kisses on the other’s face. Very disgustingly cute.

Jack Off: Masturbation headcanons perhaps Ode has a bullet Jackie got her ask a gag gift one Secret Snowflake. She’s only used it a handful of times while she was reading something erotic.  Ethan doesn’t see the need to masturbate. Nothing could ever compare to the real thing, so why bother. Though when he did it was usually in the shower.

Kink: Does the character have a kink or a few? Ode likes roleplay and edging, being dominated and even a little bit of bondage. Once she’s comfortable enough (a year into their relationship or so) their sex gets really really fun.  Ethan’s a boob man. And we know he’s an exhibitionist. He likes his balls fondled and maybe a finger up the butt if he’s drunk enough 😉

Location: Favorite places to get down and dirty She prefers to keep their business in the comfort of their own home.  Ethan would like to convince her to try it in the office or their car, the sun lounger of their forever home. But he’s okay with taking things however slow she needs. Ode did let him feel up her skirt on a long Amtrak once and it’s the highlight of his year. 

Motivation: What turns them on, gets them going etc Ode needs the romantic aspect of it all. She needs the validation and assertion of their relationship to be that vulnerable with someone.  Bickering turns them both on immensely. Both Ethan and Ode are wildly attracted to the other’s mind so any sort of stimulating conversation or argument would get them both hot and bothered.

NO: Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs Neither would do anything degrading. Ethan’s a lil freak and willing to try most things once.  Her biggest turn off is smell. There’s a difference between sultry musk and man stank. Lucky for her Ethan’s very good at cleaning himself.  

Oral: Preferences in giving or receiving, skill, etc She prefers to receive. Laying there and doing nothing but running her fingers through his hair is her bread and butter, sometimes even the dessert too. As for skill level she’s average. She’s very picky about circumstances and therefore lacks lots of practice. Though she does a very wonderful thing of rolling her wrist while she’s sucking him and swirling her tongue around his tip that throws him over the edge. She keeps that little skill in her pocket and only breaks it out absolutely necessary. Ethan’s a giver. Always has been. That’s it. That’s the explanation 😂

Pace: Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc. They’re slow 90% of the time. Always savoring the moment. These two don’t have sex frequently, possibly 3x a month so it’s always a special lengthy time.  The only time it’s fast and rough is if the moment calls for it and they have an understanding. 

Quickie: Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc. Ode finds quickies difficult. Deep in the relationship she’s more inclined because the relationship and feels are so strong and stable she’s able to get more out of it.  Ethan’s on the same wavelength. He’s not opposed to a quickie. Though he says he’s not a man of endless patience, he is for her. He’ll gladly spend hours making her feel good.

Risk: Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc. Yes, they’re okay with experimenting later in the relationship. Slow and steady they’ll make their way through all their fantasies. 

Stamina: How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last… Ethan goes for rounds. Two preferably at a minimum. A normal round lasts 40 minutes; foreplay galore!!!!!   Before they move in together deep relationship, Ode tends to feel gross after sex and needs to clean up and move on immediately. Ethan helps her work through this just by loving her. 

Toy: Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves? Ethan finds her bullet and they use it together sometimes. 

Unfair: How much they like to tease? They like to tease one another a lot. It’s a form of foreplay and declaration of love. 

Volume: How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc Ethan is a grunter. And a dirty talker when coaxed. He’s also perfected his voice - low, gruff baritone that oozes sex. He’s stupidly athletic so he doesn’t run out of breath easily which is an advantage for rough play and the inevitable rounds. His mouth is usually busy kissing, sucking, biting, licking to really make any other noise than grunts or moans. He is partial to a gasp and groan when she is driving the affair and he’s utterly powerless against them 😏 Ode whines. and gasps. and tries not to make a sound because she doesn’t want to ruin the little bubble they created. if she ruins it odds are she won’t be able to finish. 

Wild Card: How wild are they in the moment?  Kinda touched upon above, they’re really gentle and sensual with one another. These two are figuring things out and treat one another like the most precious thing on the planet. 

X-Ray: Describe what’s going on in their pants through pictures or words Ethan is well-endowed and scaped. Ode is generally bald. 

Yearning:  How high is their sex drive? For an old man, Ethan’s got stamina. If it was biologically possible he would always be inside her, right where he belongs. Sometimes round two is just him going down on them.  Ode needs some convincing. They both know when she’s ovulating because she’s much more forward than normal. 

ZZZ: How quickly they fall asleep afterwards Once she’s showered and fresh, Ode climbs into bed and reads whilst snuggled up to Ethan’s side.  Ethan is always on clean up duty. It’s very rare that he’ll be too tired to roll out of bed after a session. Normally, if they had late-night sex, he’ll fall asleep 15-20 minutes later.

[kylosupremeimagines]

Charlie Barber NSFW A-Z

(Special thanks to @driversmutbucket​ for lending me a helping hand with this! I think that the things we did with this turned out great, especially what they wrote!) 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) Charlie loves to bask in post-orgasm bliss with you. Just laying together silently, drawing soft patterns on your skin. If it isn’t in the bedroom/home (which sometimes it certainly isn’t), a post-shag cigarette (a social smoker only since Henry was born) or drink at a bar where he can hold your hand and whisper sweet sentiments in your ear. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Charlie is a breast man. He loves grazing his fingers over your clothed breasts discreetly in public. He loves coming up behind you at home and creeping his hands up your top and just cupping them. When you sleep he will spoon you and cradle your tit. When you have sex his mouth and hands are all over them, kneading, sucking, squeezing and flicking your nipples. He will run his cock over them and between them - almost cumming on the spot if you let him titty fuck you. Charlie doesn’t look in the mirror often, he isn’t egotistical about his looks. His favorite body parts of his own are his hands, how big they look against yours, how one splayed covers a lot of your stomach or your ass. How much of your breast he can fit into his grasp. He is very visual, after all. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) Charlie prefers his cum inside you, your mouth, your pussy, your ass, he doesn’t care. But he prefers not to cum on you, or on himself. A neat and tidy person by nature, this extends to his bedroom preferences, having to clean up cum ruins the post-orgasmic bliss. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He would love to have another woman join you in the bedroom but doesn’t know how to ask, just yet. It’s a matter of time before you come across his pornhub history and figure it out. Maybe he will just leave it up purposely for you to find... E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) As much as any typical guy in their mid-30s. He certainly gained experience when he studied performing arts, before meeting his ex-wife. He knows what he is doing, his confidence growing when you give him feedback. F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual) Any position where he can get his hands, or mouth on your breasts. Particularly fond of any variation of cowgirl, on the bed, sofa, chair, floor… G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) It can go either way with Charlie, sometimes you’ll laugh and giggle like teenagers, especially if fooling around in a public or semi-public place. Other times Charlie can be very serious, whispering sweet declarations of love and affection.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) Trimmed, neat and tidy, no fro’s to be found here. I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) For the latter years of his marriage, he felt as if his sex life was lacking, and since then he didn’t get much action as he prefers not to have one night stands with people he doesn’t know. But when he gets to know you enough and grows close to you, as soon as you get involved with one another, he’s going to treat you as perfectly as he can. Charlie will fulfill your every sexual need and desire, making sure that you’re as pleased as can be. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) Charlie had to rely on masturbation for a while, seeing as how Nicole barely - if at all - satisfied him for about a year before the divorce started. And as soon as it did, he couldn’t really rely on others doing it for him. Thus he resorted to masturbation. He’d mostly do it when Henry isn’t with him at his apartment, and will get really into it. Why not treat yourself right? He’d do everything to get into the mood, such as turn down the lights and put on some of his favorite porn. As he’s actually doing it, it’ll pretty much be what you expect. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) Charlie isn’t heavily into any kinks in particular but is partial to switching, age play, light BDSM and breeding kink. 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) Not that he’s too mum of a traditionalist, but Charlie prefers to have sex in his bed, or somewhere around the house when Henry isn’t around. It allows for privacy so that you can get as wild as you want, and there’s no risk of anyone walking in on you. M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) You caring for and nurturing his son, Henry, does things for him. Parenting is important to Charlie because his own parents were absent and problematic. When you treat Henry like your own, it makes Charlie want to rip your clothes off and show you how much he appreciates you. Not to mention knock you up with your own baby.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He would despise someone who is too self centered and mostly cares about their own sexual needs, and not his own as well. He thinks it’s only fair to be concerned with what you both want. With that being said, he also doesn’t like when his partner is too demanding of him. Of course he wouldn’t mind if you get a bit dominant, but if you don’t let  him have any say from time to time, that’s when he’s going to be turned off. O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Oh boy, Charlie loves receiving oral,especially with its unexpected and you suddenly are on your knees and pulling at the waistband of his trousers. He also loves eating you out, how his whole mouth can fit over your vulva and your reactions to his tongue. He is skilled at oral sex, especially once he learns what you like. P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) It all really depends on the mood. Sometimes he will be on the slower side when he just wants to show his love for you. He will cherish every second, being more romantic than usual. Other times when you both really just need it, he will be fast and rough enough to leave you sore in the morning. However, most of the time it will be a good mixture of both. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) Sometimes you’ve just got to settle with a quickie. When it’s needed while either of you are in a rush, then he’s more than happy to do one with you. Even if it’s just quick, he’s still going to be doing wonders to you that will have you wanting more. R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) After spending the majority of the few years before meeting you in a rocky, mostly sexless marriage, Charlie was making up for it now. Role playing, different fetishes - he would try it, if it wasn’t for you, you would usually fall in a pile in raptures of laughter (like the time you tried to play teacher/student and you couldn’t keep a straight face when you forgot basic times tables). S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) If Charlie is really into it, then he could go on for a while, no matter how many rounds you want to go for. His desire to satisfy you is more than enough to keep him going in bed. T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Charlie doesn’t really like to use toys on himself, because he can handle good old masturbation when it’s just him. However, when it comes to you, if you have any toys of your own, then he’s more than happy to use them on you. If it’s something common like a dildo or vibrator, he probably would know how to use it. If it’s something a little less common, then he may need you to explain how you like it to be used on you. But no worries, in no time he would be able to get the hang of it! U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He’s teased his son for years to entertain him when things got boring or he wanted to make him laugh, but he can translate that into sexual teasing for you. He won’t ever become too overbearing with it to the point it turns you off. While out in public, he may whisper things to get you in the mood for sex later back at him. Or he’ll teasingly make you wait for intimacy to see how long it takes for you to cave in for it. V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) When Henry is home, of course he’s going to try to be quiet as to not lead the boy to figure out what’s going on. But when it’s just you two in the apartment, he isn't’t going to hold back. Charlie will moan with every little pleasure, signifying that he’s enjoying what’s happening. He’ll also grunt while he’s the one pumping in and out of you. He’ll also say things such as “you like that?” in a low voice, just barely loud enough for you to hear. W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) At first, he was worried that he would not be good enough in bed since nicole was the last one that he was intimate with, and it wasn’t the best in his last year of marriage. He was self conscious at first but after the beginning of your sexual relationship, he got right back into it and was more than confident with pleasuring you beyond belief. X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) He is l o n g. Uncircumcised. To be honest he has a really pretty dick, never had you found a penis so blimmin’ appealing. He is the first person you have slept with who has been able to hit that sweet spot. You tell him that all the time, usually in between moans. Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Especially after the time he had been without much sex during the last year of his marraige as well as until he got together with you, he’s going to havea pretty high sex drive for a while. He won’t get too crazy and demand it, but you’ll be having sex at least a few times a week if you can manage it; and boy would it be so worth it to be intimate with him.Z =

ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) After Charlie has satisfied you enough, he will want to hold you close and take in the soft moment after having gone full in with sex. Content himself, he will end up falling asleep as long as you’re in bed together, knowing how well things went.

[brideofcthulhu10]

Behold another Lost Boys holiday special! It was between this and Valentine’s day, but honestly I love writing Christmas specials, its such a cozy time despite the high suicide rates, but lets not get into that. A BIG SHOUT OUT TO @imlostinsantacarla FOR HELPING ME EDIT MY FINAL DRAFT!

Fun Fact! My husband, David (yes, that is actually his name) actually does have the bah humbug hat I mention in the head canons. He’s a heavy metal goth so when I found it at the store I had to get it for him. And you just know if our David found that, he wouldn’t be able to resist it!

Christmas with the Boys

Alright, so the whole touchy, feely and mushy feelings that surround even the topic of Christmas time is not something any of the boys will ever openly admit to enjoying. After all, they see themselves as these bad ass brutal killers who thrive off of death instead of holding hands and caroling with the goodie goodies of this coastal town. 

Yet, it's challenging for them not to get sucked into the glitz and glam of the holiday season. Everything is a big deal in Santa Carla. Dia De Los Muertos, Halloween, Thanksgiving- everything! But especially Christmas.

Christmas in Santa Carla dwarfs the frenzy craze of Halloween. The entirety of the boardwalk is decked out with red and green lights that are tightly wound around palm trees, red bulbous bows are wrapped tightly around street lamps, the reds and whites of velvety fabric swirl down the posts, creating the effect of candy canes. All the store windows are painted to appear frosted, or covered with painted snowmen whilst several rooftops are covered with white felt in which mimics the texture and sight of snow. Even the boats in the harbour are all extravagantly decorated in a sea of lights that parade around brightly at night in every color imaginable.

Between the dates of the 30th of November all the way to the 24th of December the city of Santa Carla hosts a plethora of wondrous events in it's annual Holiday Festival. Large green, white and red kiosks are erected, selling a wide range of baubles and treats, from delectable chocolate coated rice krispy Santa Clauses, elf candy apples caked in a plethora of dark chocolate and peppermint, to a variety of Holiday hats, masks and even hand made costumes by the many local artists. Even hand carved candles in wondrous scents of pine, mint, or spice.

Currently, David possesses a black fur Santa hat which he acquired on a night out that boasts the words "Bah Humbug" proudly sewn over the front. It's the only holiday attire he'll even humor. Last time Marko attempted to place reindeer antlers on his head, David had set them on fire roasting atop a pan of chestnuts. Now it's not to say that he's a grinch persay. Rather, the complex and intense emotions that come hand in hand with Christmas can leave him perpetually indifferent at best, disdainful at worst. The whole occasion leaves him displeased. After all, he was an orphan who had been almost eagerly abandoned by his hooker mother left to fend for himself from the beginning, and  of course never met his father. Even she could not identify which of her many clients may have been responsible. Most of his mortal life he had lived as a street rat, barely making ends meet by picking the pockets of tourists and Santa Carla citizens oblivious to the true dangers of the lower side of town. The rich and uppity classes who often snubbed their entitled noses his way would never suspect as he lurks between alleyways, leaving them cornered at knife point. It was scarce that he ever did see a kind face in the sea of those who had little interest for anyone that was not themselves. Back then it was rather uncommon for anyone to step outside their own little lives, which led to most interactions, outside of the other boys, having been met with great hostility, thus he had learned to be just as equally hostile in turn. Even the mere thought of anyone suddenly dawning a false kindness due to a certain time of year simply agitated David. It rattled him to the very core in a way very few other things did. Why bother with the lies? Couldn't people just face the very basic fact that they weren't nearly as charitable as they often deemed themselves to be? I mean, the young man had seen firsthand a family having previously snubbed a dirty homeless man with appalled disdain at the sight of his muddied clothes and dirt stained skin, only to then begin volunteering at a soup kitchen to purge whatever guilt they carried on their conscience once the holiday season began. The whole ordeal was pitiful! Nevertheless, - more so for Paul and Marko's sakes than his own -, he did humor these traditions amongst the holiday's festivities. Ruining a good time just wasn't his style. Unless they started fucking singing.

Most traditions David could tolerate, some he even enjoyed slightly; although he would never be caught dead admitting something as embarrassing as that! However, he just couldn't stand Christmas carols! They were the bain to his immortal existence. The repetitive nature of these overly cheery jingles left him covering his ears lest they nest in his brain leaving him humming the same damn melody for weeks. This was the case because the dynamic duo of dumbasses were well aware of his hatred for Rudolph the Red Nosed fuckin' roadkill! Stupid red nosed abomination. 

“OOOOOOH-,” Paul begins with cheerful mischief.

“Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare.” David seethes through tightly clenched teeth, eyes screwed shut in indignance. 

Paul hesitates. He looks at Marko. Marko looks at Paul. Wicked grins of agreement spread wide like wildfire across their faces as their master plan comes into play. Full throttle. What’s more fun than annoying the shit out of David? One on the left, the other on the opposite side of the cave on the right. This was nothing but Divine perfection if you asked the two troublesome vampires.

“OOOOOH DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW!” Paul belted out at full volume.

“IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH!” Marko followed in suit, the widest eerie grin plastered on his face.

“OVER THE HILLS WE GOOOO” Paul howled enthusiastically. 

“I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH!” David's voice hit a whole new octave it had never in all his life so far. All the while Dwayne had opted to vacate the room lest he be caught in the middle of the escalating madness with Laddie in tow. He loved these guys, but not enough to dive head first into their fuckery.

Paul thrives during the Christmas holidays! How could he not? The food, the punk rock covers of Christmas songs, the absolute babes prancing around the town in Santa hats under mistletoe?! He loved it all! You can find him sneaking under mistletoe with many sweet honeys on a constant basis, regardless of whether or not he's acquainted with them. Most do roll their eyes or laugh it off, but every once in a blue moon the guy will get a little lovin' from a beach babe in the Yuletide mood. What else could he ask for? You can bet he’ll run into the woods December first, and quite literally RIP a pine tree out of the ground to bring home like a wee carrot being plucked from the ground. The bigger the better! He may even drag Dwayne or Marko along with him if it's too big for him to carry himself. And all the boozy drinks he can concoct up? This boy is in his element! Mulled wine, spiked eggnog, candy cane vodka, butterscotch bourbon hot chocolate?! Yes! David straight up refuses to try anything that Paul creates himself (remember the concoction he made in Max's kitchen? Those poor goldfish....) which is also another reason why he has Dwayne help him. Or rather, the other boys insist the most responsible of them monitors the blonde lest he poison them with some sickly brew. That, and the fact that Dwayne's the least likely out of all of them to blow up the damn kitchen!

Dwayne is indeed the designated cook during the holiday rush, albeit a field even he tends to struggle. Avoiding the kitchen catching aflame, perfecting his craft lest he blow up the stove, leaving only a pile of ash in its wake. As previously mentioned, ever since the dreadful chain of events that lead to the unfortunate destruction of Max's kitchen, this raven haired vampire has attempted his hand at learning to use a stove properly: Although he often finds himself forgetting ingredients either in the midst of cooking or after the final product is done and he's taken a big bite. 

“Shit! I forgot the milk and eggs!” Dwayne grumbled with a mouthful of dry crumbs, a true disgrace of a cookie.

Paul always gives him crap for it of course.

“Oooh I just thought you were going for a sandy, dusty dry cookie kinda thing.”

"Yeah man, these taste like ass!" Marko would cough out in midst of choking. 

"And what, like you dumbasses could do any better," Dwayne retorts with a huff. Only Star manages to have any manners when testing his failed baking endeavors.

"Well I mean, the taste isn't that bad. Just a little dry is all."

"At least Marko wouldn't be choking to death." David would mutter from the darkest corner of the room, a little late in the conversation.

In all honesty, Dwayne's biggest motivation when it came to improving his skills was obviously Laddie. The kid never got much of a Christmas whilst living with his mom, so now that he was with the boys, he wanted to ensure that Christmas's were something that Laddie would remember for all eternity. Though granted, it is quite the mess when he was helping in the kitchen. But when the mini vamp grins from ear to ear whilst coated in flour and rapidly stirring an overflowing bowl of chunky cookie dough--the sight is too freaking cute!

Since Laddie joined the boys, they participate in Secret Santa every single year, which definitely includes Paul bursting through the entrance of the hotel as Santa on Christmas day. We won't talk about the fact that each year he almost falls flat on his face and swears, ruining the surprise for the kid. 

"Santa where are your reindeer," he'd question, to which Santa Paul scoffs

"Pff, reindeer, I don't need any fucki- Ow," cut off by a firm and covert kick to the shin from Star, Paul quickly changes his response. "Oh! Ho ho, well, you see little boy, Santa can fly too! On his, uh, uhm… magic motorcycle! Yeah, that!"

But it's okay because Laddie already KNEW (he figured it out a year or two ago after Paul's beard fell off not once, but three times), he just doesn't have the heart to tell any of them because, well Paul really gets into it. And he knows the others are playing along for his sake. But to be fair, Laddie would have to be pretty dumb to believe it was Santa. I mean, the beard Paul's wearing is hanging half off his face by this point! But anyway, just like Paul's style, the entirety of the goody two shoes schpiel is thrown out the window, replaced with sleeves that have been ripped off, muddy boots, spiked bracelets and his Metallica shirt in full view beneath his flared red coat. He calls this BIKER CLAUS!

Laddie is not a squasher of traditions! But there was the one time that David had to intervene when Paul and Dwayne thought it would be great to use Laddie as the star at the top of the tree. David practically had a heart attack. Well, that's impossible but it still felt like he was having one!  

“Ho ho ho! Now, don’t be a bitch, little David or Santa will have to give you coal.” Paul stated mockingly to David, brows furrowed. 

“Well, Santa,” David scolds, a wry smile developing on his face when setting down the eight year old now off to shake his presents beneath their behemoth of a tree. “You best be careful. You never know what's in those milk and cookies, hm?”

Each year Marko buys bird toys for the pigeons in the hotel. Well, buy is probably the wrong word. More like he liberates the stores of their stock. And then for the next six months, David has to hear the agonizing jingle of bells. David almost roasted one pigeon in particular that kept flying over him to drop the ball with a bell in it on his head. That was Paul's entertainment for the next five hours, hell, he'd try to find it if the bird lost it and give it back. Marko defends the pigeon. Between running through stores buying up surprises for his friends, he's helping Paul throw out decorations for the cave. The dollar store has some surprisingly unexpected treasures, allowing him to deck the fucking halls to the max. Tinsel here, ornaments there,  tiny light up trees to hide around the caves, a butt ton of cinnamon pine cones which he ends up throwing back and forth with Paul.

And Paul often steals his gifts or goes dumpster diving for any hidden gems. He forgets to take the tags off of them the majority of the time, which is always an indicator whether or not its new. Any time Star asks where he got them from he refuses to answer. Just gets up and walks away. But for David's gift? Well this lucky bastard has found coal in the dumpster and chucks it to David when he's not looking and he sighs deeply in disappointment because this is the third year Paul has done this. 

 "Huh? What? Who did that? Wasn't me. Somebody's throwing stuff."

Other than that he'll find a fat bag of charcoal and just tape the name David on it. David is certainly not amused. Dwayne will actually try to figure out what the others want, and has the sense to save the money taken from their previous meals. After all, they're dead, they wouldn't have much use for it anyway. He's not about to waste his hypnosis on some poor cashier. That would be a waste of time in his eyes. 

When Christmas did arrive the tree was piled with mysterious boxes crudely mashed and taped together with bows and ribbons underneath it. It's obvious which ones are from Star since those gifts are wrapped in neatly pressed paper, wound tight beneath curled ribbons that remind the boys of her hair. Marko often goes on a food run rather than allow them all to be subjected to a potentially charred turkey, no offense to Dwayne of course. So, with a table covered from end to end with copious bowls of gravy, potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, a beast of a turkey in the center packed to the brim with cornbread stuffing, the boys cram into their chairs knocking back beers and spiked cider. Keeping to their own traditions, after fattening up, they gather around the tree and play card games, just as they had over eighty years ago on that frigid night. David still slays them in poker, and Marko is an utter dark horse when it comes to blackjack. Paul insists they try Go Fish. No one ever wants to play Go Fish. Closer towards the end of the night Dwayne will slip away to Jasper's shrine and bring him a fresh glass of rum as well as unwrapping what he got him that year. While Dwayne is there, the other boys will join him - omitting Star and Laddie left unaware of the Lost Boy they'd never met - in celebrating the last hour or so of the Holiday season with their fallen comrade.

Although Christmas time is often about uncomfortable mushy moments and emotions that create deep, unfamiliar times for David. The entire ordeal becomes that for everyone of the boys and Star. But God forbid anyone who even mentions it! I mean, it's kinda obvious though considering he's spending it with the people he always called family, knee deep in traditions that are sentimental to himself and the boys. There's a fluster of emotions running rampant during this particular Holiday Season, and although the blonde brooding vampire decides to squint at it with skepticism he savors these moments, knowing like Jasper, it could all be swept away with a single ray of light or the foolish hand of a hunter. So as they sit, drunk, full, and laughing beside Jasper's grave he can't help but smile at the sentimentality of it all. Christmas is a pain in the ass, but… it's a pain he'll gladly sit through for his brothers.

[prettywordsyouleft]

How To Love

Summary: Brian hoped taking you out on a date would help you both connect more like most couples did. Except, with him being a ghost, going on a date proves to be harder than either of you anticipated.

Pairing: Brian Kang x reader (ft. Day6)

World: Spiritual Connection (masterlist HERE)

Genre: ghost au / angst-fluff / valentines au

Warnings: none

A/N: Happy Valentines to everyone who celebrates it! As promised at Christmas, we are returning to our beloved manor house to see how the ghosts are doing. I did want to write about them all but it appears Brian was a little needy this time around so he got a story all to himself! I hope you enjoy it.

For those new to this world, this story’s context won’t make any sense without reading the previous stories before this. They are linked in the masterlist shared above.

Word count: 6292

Placing down the book he had just completed, Brian let out his umpteenth sigh for the day. It wasn’t the book’s fault. He had read this story many times over his years of existence and usually it held his attention well.

Tonight, however, Brian was too distracted to let the words fully infiltrate his mind, his thoughts wandering towards the dilemma he was faced with.

Things at the seaside manor had been going well. In fact, business hadn’t been better. Although it hadn’t been long since Christmas break, as soon as the doors reopened, guests would come and go every week in larger volumes than before. And whilst Brian was thrilled that your bed and breakfast venture had really taken off, it had some disadvantages.

Since you were spending your Saturday evening entertaining your guests whilst he was stuck in the study alone.

Glancing down at the love story he had been attempting to read, Brian lifted his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. For someone who didn’t feel the same as he had when he was alive, he could still sense the weariness within his soul. He was tired of all of the distinctions between you and him, and reading about a love that held different worries than he had couldn’t ease his mind or heart.

Brian craved something more tangible to his existence. Since his death, over a century had passed by. And during that time, he hadn’t really questioned a lot about anything. Sure, he had his profound moments, inspired to write his feelings down in poetry. But that was it. He had accepted his time and place in this realm. Yet, just because he was dead, didn’t mean his emotions had died off.

Had that happened, he wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.

And it was due to the intensity of such emotions that everything felt insufferable right now.

“Here you are!” a voice called and it perked him instantly, despite it being more masculine than your tone. Turning to look in Dowoon’s direction, Brian gave his friend a curious look. “I should have known to find you inside of a book!”

“What’s up?”

“Sungjin and I are going to go walk Custard down the beach. You keen?”

Smiling lightly, Brian thought how peaceful that would be. Custard was Dowoon’s pride and joy, a dog you had got for his friend for Christmas. Brian was certain Dowoon loved his canine friend more than anyone else in this house. Custard was all too eager to spend every moment – awake or asleep – with Dowoon too.

Now I’m jealous of a dog, Brian lamented, shaking his head softly. Whilst the thought of stretching his legs and attempting to take in the salty air of the sea did sound enticing, he could already see who he wanted to do that with.

And it wasn’t Dowoon, Custard or Sungjin, sadly.

“Maybe another time.”

“Alright, suit yourself! Ah, if you get peckish, Sarah has made her infamous brownie for the house guests and served up the edges on a plate in the kitchen.”

Brian chuckled. “Peckish? Us dead folk don’t need to eat.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t a nice concept now and then,” the tall man suggested with a shrug, giving Brian a final look before departing the room.

He contemplated the idea. Brian’s thoughts shifted back to the first time he shared a drink with you when you moved into the manor house as an adult. No longer were you simply the child who grew up in this house each summer when visiting Pearl, your grandmother. You had arrived and stirred a lot more than the dust and bric-a-brac left behind with her passing. Brian found himself smiling at the many times after you had both shared a meal together.

Maybe, Dowoon was right.

Pushing back his chair, Brian made his way out of the study and down to the kitchen, stopping in the threshold when he overheard the conversation between the occupants of the room.

“Shh! What if someone hears you talking? It will look like you’re talking to yourself!”

“Wonpil, don’t be so silly! Everyone’s being entertained in the main living room right now. We’re completely alone down here.”

“You make it sound as if you like that idea,” his friend mentioned and Brian cleared his throat noisily, his bitterness overshadowing any guilt he felt at breaking up the couple’s alone time. Wonpil, clutching his heart, heaved a little with his fright. “You could have given us fair warning!”

“Why? Your heart won’t jump out of your chest with a little scare,” Brian remarked, reaching for a piece of brownie on the table. He held it up and smiled. “I was told to come for this.”

“Yes, but Sarah’s heart could and as much as that could simplify things, I’d much rather she live out a full life until she joins us in the afterlife.”

The only living human in the room swatted a bashful hand out at Wonpil. “Stop it!”

“I won’t! You are special to me how you are!”

And that signalled Brian’s departure from the kitchen, unsure if the brooding overwhelming him stemmed from the fact that he couldn’t really taste the chocolatey goodness of the treat within his hand that he nibbled on, or because he had to agree with Wonpil to some extent.

If you weren’t just like Sarah, someone who possessed a beating heart, that would simplify things. You would be on a level playing field. Brian knew nothing was ever truly equal in relationships – dead or alive. Still, it would mean you wouldn’t be doing everything so separately. He couldn’t help you run the guest house. He wasn’t able to assist you with your guests like Sarah could. Of course, he did his fair share around the manor where he could, and you were always grateful for that. But it didn’t change the fact that if he walked into the living room right now, only you would see him. Further, you couldn’t interact with him other than in subtle ways that wouldn’t bring attention to the living.

Sensing movement by the front door that he had mindlessly wandered towards, he gave a small smile to Jae who was slipping into his jacket.

“Oh bro! Had enough of the books?”

Shrugging loosely, Brian rocked back on his heels. “What are you up to? Do you want-”

Jae tipped his head to the side as he brushed down the collar to his jacket and then grinned. “Me? It’s date night.”

“A-Again?” Brian breathed incredulously and his friend nodded.

“You know how it is. Married life is all about making sure you keep things fresh and healthy. Date night is a part of that.”

Swallowing down a bitter curse that he, in fact, did not know how any of it was, Brian smiled again, albeit more strained this time. “Where are you going?”

“Downtown theatre.”

“Aren't they only showing Little Women right now? You saw that last week.”

“Gotta keep the Mrs happy, Brian,” Jae announced and then smiled as his Mrs, also known as Becky, came into view.

Her ruby lips twisted up with disdain. “I heard you.”

“I know you did and that was why I kept my talk decent,” Jae quipped, leading his wife out the front door of the manor house with a hasty farewell wave to Brian as he left him behind.

Brian sighed heavily once the pair had gone. Even if they bickered more often than not, he was jealous of them. At least, they prioritised having a date night.

Had he ever gone out on a date with you? Sure, he spent most of his time in your company. You would wake up together, run errands in town or the closest city, sometimes walking along the beach like the others were right now. On the odd occasion, if you didn’t pass out early from exhaustion from running the bed and breakfast, you would curl up in his arms and catch up or read books together. Eventually though, you would fall asleep and a new day would arrive just like that.

Time never had much value to him until he started being with you. It felt like there was never enough of it, moments stolen in between house chores and setting up for new arrivals.

The longer he went through the catalogue of his moments with you in his mind, he realised he had never gone out of his way to call anything a date. Glancing at the large event board by the coat closet, he moved closer to inspect the decorated part of the calendar, indicating that Valentine’s Day was just around the corner. Smiling, he finished his piece of brownie with more enthusiasm before clapping his hands together.

He knew what he had to do.

You smiled brightly when you felt arms slip around your waist from behind you, instinctively leaning back and allowing Brian to step in closer. You nuzzled into him briefly. “Well hello, handsome.”

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” You gestured to the various hues of pink and red that you were using to decorate the living room. “It’s the month of love.”

“The month of love?” he echoed, chuckling softly. “I thought Valentine’s was only a day in February. One in which, I’m certain I heard you proclaim was not your cup of tea.”

Turning around in his arms, Brian grinned at your expression. You scrunched your nose up further. “If I’m honest, it is really cliché. I mean, you should show your partner that you love them every day, right?”

He didn’t answer, simply staring back at you and hoping that you could feel what he did deep down. Brian never questioned your love for him. He just wished you realised how you prioritised him in your schedule.

And how little lately.

“However, from a business standpoint, Valentine’s is the perfect time to whisk your loved one off somewhere to have a little rendezvous. We’re completely booked out for the entire week that Valentine’s falls on.”

Brian’s mood dampened. “Really? You didn’t plan to have even one day off?”

“Now why would I do that?” you questioned, moving away from him to return to your decorations.

“Because you did during Christmas.”

You laughed and shot him a look. “There’s a huge difference between both events. Besides, we had a Christmas wedding to plan for.”

“Would it take another wedding for you to take time off again?” he wondered with a heavy breath and you stopped hanging the balloons, turning back to him.

“Are you okay?”

“I was hoping we could have some time together that week. A whole day, actually.”

You cocked your head to the side, intrigued. “Why?”

“Do you know we’ve never gone on an actual date, Y/N?”

“We haven’t?” Brian shook his head and you fell silent.

“Becky and Jae go on one almost every week.”

“That’s because they can.”

“Why can’t we?” he asked, a little hurt by your response. You could tell and swallowed slowly. “Because I’m not alive?”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” you mumbled, guilt washing over you. “Not at all. Hey! We do things together all the time! We just went to the city together last week.”

“To pick up plant boxes for the vegetable patch.”

“It was fun though. And it was just you and me.”

Brian sighed. “I meant, intentional time together. I want to do things with you like a proper couple does.”

“Can we do that?” you breathed and immediately shook your hands to dismiss your doubt. “Of course we can. We will!”

“You’ll give me one day of your time?”

“How about the day before Valentine’s?” you offered and Brian began to smile. You, however, looked stressed. “I’ll just ask Sarah to step up a bit whilst we’re gone. We will have the best date ever!”

He should have known with your hesitance that this date of yours would be a disaster.

Still, when you met him out in the foyer by the front door, Brian felt hopeful. You had put in some effort to how you looked; wearing one of the dresses he knew you had dug out of your grandmother’s wardrobe. It looked perfect on you and with a hooked arm extended out to you, Brian allowed you to curl a hand around it before leading the way out to the car.

For the trip to the city, you were both excited. Conversation flowed freely as did a lot of singing. He could see how affected you were after he sang along to a Michael Buble song on the radio, the hand he had held the whole trip growing a little clammy. It satisfied Brian to know he had charms about him still.

But it all turned pear-shaped when you pulled up at the restaurant you had made a reservation at. The maître d looked at you and then frowned. “Is your lunch partner running late?”

“What? No,” you answered, smiling at Brian and then swallowing down your easy reaction. Brian stiffened at your side. “Oh. Yes, they are.”

“I’m afraid right now we’re really busy and so we’ll have to seat you up at the bar. We’ll be able to find you a table when you’re ready.”

“Can’t I just be seated at a table for two regardless?”

He shook his head at your request. “Sorry, it’s our restaurant’s rules.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Brian breathed into your ear but you shook your head subtlety.

“I’ll just go somewhere else,” you announced, turning on your heel and hurrying back out to the car.

Brian stared at you when he was seated next to you again. Your cheeks were red and he could tell it wasn’t only with annoyance. He caressed your face softly. “I didn’t think that would be a rule in a restaurant.”

“It’s fine. We’ll still eat together, Brian. Who needs to go to a restaurant like that? Even though I look like this, I can eat anywhere!”

You both ended up in the food court, your determination now tapered out as you sat across from him staring down at your sushi. The noise within the eatery was louder than the ambience at your first stop and Brian pushed down his disappointment.

This wasn’t where he wanted to take you out to eat today.

“It’s fine,” you mentioned again when you caught his gaze, smiling for his benefit. “I love sushi.”

“I know you do.”

“What’s next on the list after eating?” you asked and Brian reached out for your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I thought we could go to the museum together.”

You brightened. “I haven’t been in years.”

“It’ll be fun. You love old things,” he commented and you slyly grinned at him whilst nodding.

“You know, I really do.”

With your lunch eaten, you got back in the car to head to the museum together. A renewed energy stepped between you both as you began to look around, Brian swinging your hand in his gently as you walked around.

“Oh look!” you exclaimed, dragging him over to the Victorian section. You lit up as you inspected a selection of men’s outfits. Looking at Brian and then back at the mannequins, you giggled. “Are any of these looks for you?”

“I wouldn’t be caught dead in number three,” he breathed and you giggled. Looking towards the casual outfit on the end, Brian pointed. “That was more like me.”

“Oh, now that is very you!” you exclaimed, looking at his modern outfit and then back at what was once the type of clothes he wore. “Maybe you should try them on again?”

“I’d rather stay like this,” he announced quickly, pulling you away from the display.

For the following hour, it felt as close as it could to a date for Brian. Of course, there were a couple of instances where other viewers would step too close to him and he’d have to sidestep away quickly to avoid being walked through. Still, he was having a lot of fun and he could tell you were as well.

Yet, Brian had become aware of a small group that had been following you both around the museum, and more so of their stares in your direction.

“Who is she talking to?”

“She’s weird, don’t look at her.”

Brian attempted to ignore the jeers from them for some time before he let out a sigh, stepping in front of you with a weak smile. You placed a hand on his torso affectionately. “Hm? What’s wrong?”

“Pull out your phone.”

“It’s already in my hand,” you pointed out, now confused. “I’ve been taking photos!”

“I mean, pull it up to your ear. Do you have your earbuds? Maybe put one in.”

You slowly looked around yourself, realising what he was referring to. Brian closed his eyes to maintain his emotions, hating that you were now aware of the people whispering and looking. He wondered if it would have been better to leave you oblivious to it all.

Forcibly smiling, you pulled out your earbuds and angled your phone towards yourself so it looked like you were on a call. And from that moment out, the trip to the museum became subdued.

“Let’s forgo the gift shop and head back to the car, hm?” he offered when you had made your way back around to the exit, your head lowered in defeat. Brian rubbed your arms softly. “We can go and-”

“I want to find something to remember this outing by,” you mumbled, stepping away from him and going into the gift store. It took a few minutes for your head to lift back up to a level you could maintain without feeling uncomfortable. He could see in your eyes that you were trying to salvage the trip here. Stepping over to your side, he pointed at an arrangement of keyrings with the museum’s logo on it.

“What about one of those?”

You shook your head. “Anyone could have one of them. I want something more us.”

It was a slow process of finding something that you liked. A couple of times you got excited over an item and turned to show him it, only to stop mid-way and cast your gaze around the tiny shop to see if anyone was watching.

It was a keyring and magnet that you eventually settled on, your mood had fallen to a level that he felt he couldn’t retrieve it from. Still, Brian attempted to. “Do you want to go shopping? I’m sure we could cheer up looking at stores together.”

“I do need to get a couple of things from the mall,” you agreed quietly, driving the car to the closest one. With yourself fully armed this time from the start, you relaxed into your experience at the mall. You had done this many times together and perhaps that was why you seemed to grow your confidence again.

“Oh, let’s look in here!” you exclaimed, walking hastily towards a jewellery store. As you browsed, Brian lingered at your side, trying not to take much notice of the items. He didn’t know how to act within such a place. Of course, he wanted to take a deeper look at everything they had in stock. Although he might be a little outdated, even back in his times, he knew the importance of a fine gemstone on a necklace or ring. It made him uncomfortable because he wanted nothing more than to find something for you.

“Anything caught your eye?” you murmured when you looked back at him and Brian shrugged. Smiling, you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the display boxes. Everything was so sparkly; it took him several blinks to actually focus on anything. You squeezed his hand before letting go, wandering around the store whilst he remained where you placed him.

Brian’s eyes were stuck on a delicate pendant. It held a blue stone within its centre, the metal surrounding it linked in a unique way to hold it together. He decided it reminded him of his love for you.

Brian didn’t even realise he was crying until he felt his cheeks were wet. You approached him calmly, peering at what caught his eye. “It’s gorgeous.”

“It is.”

“Blue topaz is your birthstone too, did you know that?”

He hadn’t but there was no way he could reply, overwhelmed by the pure need for the necklace. His eyes travelled to the price tag and sighed.

A ghost couldn’t exactly purchase anything.

“Excuse me,” you called out and Brian turned to stare at you, somewhat disconnected in the moment. He didn’t hear the rest of your sentence, but when the necklace was taken from the display and you stepped away from his side, he knew what you had done. Walking out of the store, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, collecting himself when you bounced up to his side and waggled the gift bag. “Here you go! Ah, I’ll carry for you until we’re back at the car!”

“Why did you do that?”

You beamed at him. “Because I could see what it meant to you.”

“I wanted to get it for you,” he explained and your smile evaporated. “I can’t even get you a god damn gift!”

“Brian,” you started but he shook his head, storming away from you and going back out to the car. He laughed bitterly when he was able to slip inside without you unlocking it. Because he wasn’t bound to the same world as you were. Although he could touch you and all the things that your realm held, he wouldn’t ever truly exist in it.

This date had been the worst idea he could ever have. It highlighted all his fears. Inside the manor house, you never seemed unattainable, apart from your endless working hours. But stepping out of the house he had stayed close to for the last century and trying to do something that normal people did had been foolish. Jae and Becky were an anomaly. Brian had learned today that dating was only for people who both either had hearts that moved or had turned to dust years ago.

Brian was in the study again, this time no book was held within his grip. Instead, you had left him with the small gift bag and headed into your bedroom, locking the door behind you, your tears muffled as he had listened on until he couldn’t take it any longer.

Looking down at the velvet case on the table, Brian snapped the lid open and stared at the necklace you had bought in his stead. He closed the lid with a sigh, only to open it again, repeating his actions even though they were taking quite a toll on his energy levels. He hadn’t expected going out on a date with you to be so exhausting.

No wonder Jae always crashed the day after his outings with Becky.

The door to the study opened and closed, though Brian had no interest in tearing his gaze away from the jewellery box before him. He blinked when a hand picked it up and a low whistle left the man before him. Sungjin then chuckled. “Wow, this is real nice.”

Brian gave no response, though his fingers reached out to touch the velvet once it was back on the table.

“Did you steal it?”

“That would take a lot of energy though perhaps I would feel more at ease had I.”

Sungjin chuckled softly. “No, it wouldn’t make you feel any better. And Y/N would have felt bad too. It’s best to do things in their realm the legal way.”

“Did … did you steal something?” Brian asked, glancing up and seeing the answer in Sungjin’s face. He gaped at his friend. “What was it?”

“A brooch,” he admitted, toying with the stack of books on the edge of the desk.

Brian sucked in a dramatic breath when he realised it was the one Pearl had worn all the time. “That brooch? I thought Pearl bought it!”

“My pride was knocked around from that ordeal. It sucks having to step back when it comes to dating though, huh?”

Brian nodded glumly. “I wanted to drive the car.”

“And hold open the doors?” Sungjin offered in which his friend agreed to with another nod.

“I wanted to make Y/N feel special and enjoy herself. Instead, all we did was constantly remind one another of our differences.”

“The only true difference you both have are that you were born over a century and a half ago and Y/N is from this time we’re existing in now. Your morals will be outdated in her world.”

“Hardly, there’s more and you know it.”

Sungjin shrugged, though his gaze was less nonchalant. “There’s only more if you allow them to be there. Why focus on the unimportant stuff?”

“Sungjin, the fact that I’m dead and Y/N’s not is kind of important.”

“Is it? I wasted far too many years of Pearl’s life thinking just like that, you know. To her, all she cared about was her feelings for me and mine of hers. All couples have to learn to compromise and accept how the other is. You’ve been doing that all along. Before this desire of yours to be more than you are, you were working well together, Brian.”

“Were we? I felt like I never did anything with her,” Brian lamented and his friend moved around the desk to pat him on the shoulder.

“So tell Y/N that, not me. You didn’t need to go all out on some fancy date to let her know what’s really been bothering you.”

“Is this how Y/N feels after talking with you?” he breathed as he got to his feet and Sungjin grinned.

“Hey, I have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. It took me a damn long time to get here though. I don’t want to see either of you spend decades stuck in the wrong situation like I did with Pearl.”

“I wouldn’t let even a year pass by being away from Y/N,” Brian replied and Sungjin clapped him on the back.

“See, you’re already ahead of me. Now, how about you go let her know how you’ve been feeling!”

You were already asleep when Brian quietly entered your bedroom, slipping into the bed tentatively. When he had been alive, he had dated briefly and so the only arguments he had experienced were with those of his friends and family. Now in his afterlife, you had been his first true love. He didn’t know what was practical to do within the delicate situation afterwards, no matter how many relationships he had studied within novels over the decades. He laid still beside you, chewing on his lip until your body shifted closer, your arm soon flung over him. Brian reached for your hand gently, drawing it up to his chest and placing it there instead.

He knew when the morning arrived that he would tell you everything. Until then, he would enjoy the proximity you sought after as you dreamed, your body now pressed into him at multiple spots.

Despite his lack of actual sleep, Brian felt well-rested when you finally opened your eyes. And he smiled when you didn’t move away from him when you realised how curled up you were next to him.

“Morning.”

“Hi,” you breathed, swallowing visibly. “Brian, I’m sorry-”

“Can I go first?” he interrupted, smiling at you more warmly. He reached out to brush some of your hair away from your face. “I’ve been waiting all night long to tell you how I feel and I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

“Did you not sleep?” He shook his head softly and you gasped. “Brian! You should have woken me up so you could get some sleep after talking!”

“I don’t need to sleep every night, remember?”

“Still,” you mumbled, pouting for effect.

“Can I tell you my thoughts?” he asked and you nodded softly, your gaze not leaving his. Brian smiled, reminding himself to actually start talking instead of admiring the way you respected that he needed to talk. He felt foolish for a fleeting moment.

He knew he could have told you all this before and you would have listened at any stage.

“I took you out on that date yesterday because I had convinced myself that was what was missing from us. I saw everyone around us doing their own thing with those that matter the most to them and believed that to do that with you too, I needed to step up, to do more couple focused events.”

“I did enjoy the concept of going out with you, Brian.”

“I know,” he told you, reaching out to cup your cheek in his hand, his thumb gently running along your skin. “And in the future, I hope we can do other things together out of the house. But the real reason for my attempt is that I stopped valuing my place here with you,”

You frowned. “What do you mean? You are everything to me!”

“So is your business,” he pointed out, sighing when your brows knitted together. “I started to feel it was easier to focus on the living as opposed to me because their needs are more visible here.”

Touching his neck with your hand, you smiled. “You’re visible to me too. But I do understand, I think. Things have been really busy when people started asking for longer stays and I went from working a certain amount of days to seven days a week.”

“Are you tired?”

You nodded. “I thought I had to prove more of myself with running the bed and breakfast. I got greedy from my success. Even when I was tired, I was consumed with doing better.”

“I wish I could help you with it and that we could run this together. But my place here doesn’t stand out as much as yours.”

“Really? You’re my favourite to talk about around the fireplace. A lot of people leave here charmed by this mysterious man they have seen the portrait of in the hallway. Don’t tell the others but you’re a crowd favourite. Must be these handsome looks of yours.”

Brian smirked. “I think it’s all down to how much you talk me up.”

“You know, it’s not the same, but I hope you know you’re welcome in the room during the times when I’m entertaining. You’ve shared your stories with me in the past and I relay them. But you could be there to help me with them. And in return, I’ll try to find balance with how much I let this place overrun me. As much as I love sharing my joy for the manor, all the people who live here are the true reason this house is magical to me. You are my longest friend, Brian. Before all this-”

You gestured between you both with a proud smile before continuing. “-you and the others were my five childhood friends who I felt safe around. I still feel safe here and I don’t believe I’m missing out on anything just because I can’t go eat in a fancy restaurant with you. I’d much rather cook together here.”

“Do you know I adore how honest you are?” he wondered, moving to rest his forehead on yours. “Here I was withholding my feelings because I worried we weren’t real enough.”

“Oh, we’re real, Brian. I realised yesterday on the trip home that I was more embarrassed with myself than I was with our unique relationship. I don’t need approval from anyone but myself to love you.”

“If you could choose to wait for a lifetime where we’re alive together or keep what we have now, even with its differences, would you still choose now?”

You nodded immediately and his heart soared. “Of course. Besides, you promised along with Jae, Dowoon, Wonpil and Sungjin that you’d stay with me here until I’m joining you all over in the afterlife. This is just the entrée to our love together.”

“Are you hungry? You keep talking about food,” he asked with a chuckle and you giggled, nodding.

“I want to go make pancakes.”

“Why pancakes?”

“Well, it’s a special day for a lot of our guests but more so for us.”

“It is?”

You nodded. “Don’t you remember one year where I stayed here as a kid because my parents had to go on a business trip and my grandmother was unwell so you five all stood over the stovetop attempting to make a batch of pancakes for me to eat?”

“You remember that? God, I have all the time in the world to replay my existence and yet you recall that far more easily than I would. Was that Valentines Day?”

You nodded, pulling away from him and padding across your room to a familiar book on your shelf, slipping something out of it. Coming back over to the bed, you crawled to his side and handed over the card. Brian chuckled as he opened it. “You still have this?”

“You were my first Valentine.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in today?”

“I believe love should be shown every day, I’ve admitted that. But I do believe in this day. Not for the reason a lot of others do, just for the fact that it makes me think of you all.”

Brian leaned in to kiss you before brushing your hair away from your face. “You were my first Valentine too.”

“I doubt it. I bet you had ladies lining up for your hand. Look at you! So charming that even the mistresses of the house you served no doubt harboured feelings for you!”

“Are you jealous if they did?” he wondered, following you as you got up from the bed and headed out into the hallway, taking the path to the kitchen. Since it was early, none of the guests were out of their rooms yet.

You shot Brian a look. “Why be jealous when I have you now!”

“Who’s jealous?” Jae enquired when you both arrived in the kitchen, Brian surprised by the full turn out. Aside from Sarah who hadn’t stayed at the manor last night, the full-time residents were all seated at the table in the room.

“I am!” Sungjin proclaimed, pointing to everyone in the room. “Pearl can’t come to visit any time soon like she did over Christmas. Look at all these couples around me.”

Wonpil shook his head. “My love isn’t here yet.”

“Love? So it’s to that point already?” Becky breathed in amazement, clasping her friend’s hand in hers. And then she turned to you. “Y/N, is there a reason you wanted us all here today?”

“It’s pancake day,” you announced and went to retrieve two boxes of premixed pancake mix from the cupboard.

Dowoon grinned and stopped rubbing his dog’s tummy. “You really trust us to make these?”

“I think we’ll be tempting fate again,” Jae agreed, shuddering as Becky stared at her husband in confusion. Jae sighed heavily. “We were in charge of feeding Y/N one year when Pearl was unwell. It took us forty minutes to serve up the world’s worst breakfast.”

“It was my favourite breakfast,” you corrected, handing a box to Sungjin and Wonpil each. “And it’s Valentines. Can’t we all have some time together before I go make my guests feel the magic in the air or whatever it is?”

It was chaotic, to say the least. Still, after all the years that had passed, none of them had mastered the art of cooking in your realm. It wasn’t as if they truly needed to, given spirits didn’t need food to sustain themselves like you did. But thankfully this time, Becky was here and she managed to deter Jae from putting too much batter onto the pan at a time.

Watching everyone with a smile on his face, Brian quietly left the room to retrieve the necklace from the study, taking it out of the velvet box and marvelling at it as he carried it back to the kitchen. It would take him some time to fully accept his pride would be knocked about in this relationship. He decided he would attempt to make you things in the future when wanting to give you a proper gift. Still, he knew that this came from him despite how it fell into his hands.

And when Brian saw you again, he didn’t hesitate to sling it around your neck, doing up the clasp to the chain. You turned and slipped your arms around his waist. “I love you, Brian.”

“I love you too.”

“Hey, Valentine’s is for us all right?” Dowoon exclaimed and clapped his hands together. “I love you all! But I love Custard justttt a bit more.”

“Just a bit? I’m offended.”

“Jae, do you love me more than everyone here or not?” Becky offered with a smile and he chuckled.

“No, I love everyone more than you.”

“Hey!”

And just like that, the room filled with laughter and exclamations, much like it always did when you all were together.

And as Brian held your hand within his, he realised that he liked Valentine’s a whole lot more than he ever had. It wasn’t about being the perfect date. Or having the best relationship either. Even though he had new ideas and couldn’t wait to spend more alone time with you.

But for now, he was surrounded by everyone he adored. And if Valentine’s was the day of love, then he knew he would be full from this year’s one.

_________________

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[fantasyfandommaiden]

ML Counsellor AU: Talking with Jagged Stone

Not so much a session as two adults talking shop about mental health, akumas and the magic behind music.

[[MORE]]

Carmine sat in her office during lunch, with the door locked and the radio playing softly in her office as she updated her reports on various students, as well as some of profile on Hawkmoth. There was still not a lot of information to go on, which was frustrating, but unfortunately there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

She perked up slightly when she heard a familiar song come on the radio, smiling as she turned it up ever so slightly to hear it better. It was a classic Jagged Stone song from his first Album, and also one of Carmine’s favourites that she would often listen to, as well as any Jagged Stone song. She began to sing along softly to it as she typed away at her laptop, her work seeming slightly less tedious now.

Her enjoyment was short lived by a very loud, obnoxious knock at the door, causing Carmine to scowl slightly before sighing and turning down the volume as she stood up to open the locked door.

She opened the door, expecting a student, however instead of looking down like she expected she would have to do, she ended up looking up to see none other than Jagged Stone, looking at her and grinning widely.

“Hello!” He said in English, grinning widely “Your Miss. Regal right? The cool psychologist helping the akuma victims right? Was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk?”

Carmine stared at Jagged for a solid five seconds, her face completely neutral of any emotion before she said softly “Sorry, could you give me ten seconds please?” She asked, closing the door as Jagged look at her with a raised brow “Okay?”

Once the door was closed, Carmine’s face broke into a large, ecstatic smile asp Carmine jumped up and down, her arms flailing in excitement as she did everything in her power to not make a sound because ‘OMG JAGGED STONE IS HERE AND HE WANTS TO TALK TO, MY FAVOURITE ROCK STAR WANTS TO TALK TO ME, OH MY GAWD, OH MY GAWD!’

After exactly ten seconds Carmine open the door, the picture perfect image of calm as she smiled warmly at Jagged. “Sorry about that, come on in!”

Jagged smiled, gesturing beside him where Carmine looked and jumped back at the sight of a very large crocodile laying down beside Jagged. As the rockstar began to walk into the office, the crocodile did the same, Carmine looked at it cautiously, even pinching her arm to see if this was all a really bizarre dream.

She slowly walked over to her desk, looking at Jagged as he sat down on one of the chairs “Can I offer you some blackberry tea?” She asked, going straight to her tea shelf, looking at the different tins she had.

“If it’s not too much trouble.” The rockstar asked, looking around the room with mild interest. Fang, ever the loyal crocodile, lay beside Jagged, also lazily looking around.

Carmine took a deep breath, calming herself as she turned around and handed Jagged one of the mugs of tea. “I’ll have to admit Mr. Stone-“

“Jagged.” Jagged corrected her, smiling “Mister is so... dull and boring, not rock and roll you know?”

Carmine smiled “Than please call me Carmine, anyways, I have to say I am surprised by your visit Jagged. I was aware you were in Paris and knew about what happened the other day with you being Akumatized... but I didn’t know you knew of my exsistance.”

“Oh of course I did!” Jagged stated grinning “Marinette Dupain Chang mentioned you after she made me these awesome Eiffel Tower sunglasses! Said how you helped a lot of the kids around here and were a fan of mine!”

Carmine blinked, her cheeks becoming a soft pink colour “Um... I don’t see how she would know that-“

“Something about you singing to one of my songs really loudly hours after school was out or something.” Jagged said, sipping his tea “She promised me you would treat this conversation professionally however, which you are, which I greatly appreciate!”

Carmine felt her face become red hot, brining her tea cup up to sip her tea in a vain attempt to calm her nerves. She wasn’t sure if she should chastised Marinette for revealing that little secret to someone or to thank her for arranging this. “I see, well I try to make it so that o remain professional well in my office.”

“That’s good! Isn’t that right Fang!” The rockstar said, looking down at the crocodile, who simply looked up at Jagged and gave a slight nod, and a yawn. “Anyways...” Jagged began “It all started with my lousy producer Bob and his usual antics...”

Jagged than regaled Carmine with the tale of what happened to cause him becoming Akumatized, leaving no detail out.

“I mean, he goes behind my back and had this awesome girl redo the album design because it’s not like his lousy sons band? Who does that? ALSO, she drew up two COMPLETELY different album covers, IN ONE DAY!” He said excitedly, almost bouncing in his seat “I’ll tell you, that girl is GOING places! She even found me these shades!”

Carmine smiles, an idea suddenly forming in her head as she smiled coyly “Oh, Marinette most likely made those actually. She wants to become a fashion designer.” Carmine said off handedly, sipping her tea.

Jagged blinked, looking at Carmine with a new found interest “She any good?”

“She won a hat design contest that was judged by Gabriel Agreste...” Carmine said slowly “And I know that all the art teachers rave about her work with fabrics and design.”

Jagged let out a soft hum, rubbing his chin as an idea slowly mulled over in his head “Hmm.... maybe I’ll ask to take a look at her designs next time I see her, she do commissions?”

“Couldn’t hurt to ask” Carmine stated, smiling “But back to the topic at hand... how do you feel after everything that happened?”

Jagged gave a nonchalant shrug “Honestly, after the whole thing, nothing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was confused as heck and pissed that I let some lame ass villain get the best of me, but hey, what can you do? At least I got to see Ladybug and Chat Noir in action, even if it was well beating me up.” He said, taking a sip of the tea.

Carmine’s pencil stopped mid sentence as she looked up at Jagged, blinking “... I’m sorry, what do you mean by that exactly?”

“The fight? It was spectacular! Don’t remember all of it, but bits and pieces are there.”

“... that’s... not possible.” Carmine stated slowly, looking at the rockstar “No one remembers anything after being Akumatized.”

Jagged looked at her with a neutral tone, giving a small shrug “Guess that just means I’m a special case, which makes sense. I am pretty awesome!”

Fang, who had been quiet for most of the conversation, gave a small rumble from his throat that almost sounded like laughter, Jagged looked down at the crocodile with a slight scowl “Oh quiet you!”

Carmine sat up a little straighter at the interaction, looking between Fang and Jagged, eyes narrowing slightly. Carmine tried to remember everything she knew about crocodiles from living in New Orleans for a few years during her childhood... one of which being they were unpredictable and made poor pets. She, however, knew of some mages who enjoyed having familiars that were on the more dangerous side for protection...

“... how long have you had Fang Jagged?” She asked slowly, looking at the croc.

Jagged looked up at the ceiling, letting out a soft hum “Since I was 15, when he hatched.” He said nonchalantly.

“Hatched or appeared?” Carmine asked, causing Jagged to freeze momentarily, the rockstar looking at her with a raised brow.

“When I was 13, my dog Gladiolus appeared before me, he’s a ferret now thought...” Carmine said to him in a hesitant tone, hoping beyond hope she was right.

“You don’t say...” Jagged said, looking the woman straight in the eyes.

The two adults sat there, starring at eachother for a solid thirty seconds, not saying anything, waiting to see who would make the next move.

Jagged broke the silence first “Anyone every question why you don’t buy your familiar food?”

Carmine let out a short laugh, grinning “No, only people who know I own a ‘ferret’ are my close friends, and I just say he likes to eat in private, I’m more curious how you convience your staff on why you have a crocodile that doesn’t eat!”

Jagged grinned widely “Oh, he eats fish and the like, so they leave it off. Fang prefers to be a crocodile is all, been like that ever since I first summoned him.”

“Ahh I see.” Carmine stated grinning “... this would explain why you remember bits and pieces, your magic must have been interfering with the akuma. Do you remember anything about Hawkmoth?”

Jagged frowned leaning back in his chair “Sadly no. Don’t even remember his voice or what he said to me sadly, which is weird since my entire magic DOMAIN is under music, yours?”

Carmine grinned “Equal parts creation, illusion and brewing. I specialize in ‘tea’ magic however.”

“Kitchen witch?”

“I loath the term but yes, the kitchen is my domain.” She said grinning as she sipped her tea “Do any of your staff know about you being a mage?”

“No... not yet anyways.” He said sighing “... I’m probably gonna tell Penny soon, she’s stayed around the longest of any of my previous managers and I’ve grown quite fond of her... however...”

Carmine looked at him, frowning slightly “... she isn’t a magic user is she?”

“Nope, not a drop of it. Unless you count her unnatural patience for my antics.” He said, letting out a small chuckle “Ah... still, she’s important to me, and I’ve known her for... God’s, almost seven years now, about time I told her.”

Carmine looked down at her tea as Jagged continued to speak, the blackberry liquid the same hue as her best friends hair, albeit without the red streak of colour in it. She’s known Nathalie nearly twelve years and hasn’t uttered a word to her yet, or any of her friends for that matter...

A loud ringtone brought Carmine out of her train of thought as Jagged brought out his cellphone answering it “Ello!” He said into the small device.

After a short conversation Jagged ended the call “That was Penny, reminding me of my recording session.” He said grinning “But I would love to come back and talk shop with you sometime! I haven’t spoken with another magic user that wasn’t some old bat in YEARS!” He exclaimed holding out a business card to Carmine.

Carmine gave a small grin, taking the business card from the rock star “Like wise Jagged, like wise.”

[mdelpin]

Gratsu Bingo 2019, Gratsu Week 2019 Prompt: Voice AO3 | FF.Net

Small Sacrifices

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Natsu heard muffled yelling coming from inside of the apartment he shared with his boyfriend Gray. Stopping for a moment, he put his ear to the door before fumbling through his pockets for his keys. It didn’t sound like Gray was fighting with anyone, but Natsu recognized the tone, his boyfriend was definitely frustrated about something.

“How the hell am I supposed to know the user’s intent?” Gray was yelling, “I don’t even know my intent.”

“I’m home.” Natsu closed the door behind him, greeted by the sight of his boyfriend sitting at his desk clad only in his boxers and staring daggers at his Chromebook. Natsu dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and walked over.

"What's going on?" Natsu asked before leaning over to kiss his boyfriend, making sure not to let any other part of his body come into contact with Gray.

Natsu worked in construction, and his clothes were covered in the usual mix of dust, dirt and whatever else he picked up during the day. He didn't want to get Gray dirty, it would only annoy him anyway, and he looked riled up enough already.

“It’s just some test I’m taking, nothing to worry about,” Natsu paused at this information, he’d thought Gray was on vacation this week. They’d made plans to go out to dinner for once.

“I thought you were on break,” Natsu peered at the tablet’s screen, only to be greeted by some sort of navigation interface. He was puzzled, Gray was studying to be a child psychologist, what class could he possibly be taking that required this?

Gray peered at him guiltily before closing his expression off once again. “I am, this is something else.”

Natsu arched an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation but none was forthcoming. He was tired after a long day at work so he decided to let Gray have his little mystery and kissed him one last time before heading to their bathroom to wash off the grime from his body and change into some clothes that would hopefully make Gray forget whatever was bothering him. He began to sing off-key with a grin, knowing it drove Gray nuts.

He paused in his singing when he heard another voice competing in volume. It was Gray, once again screaming at his tablet. What in the world was he doing? Natsu was getting very curious. He turned the hot water off and walked into their bedroom, wearing a towel around his waist.

He quickly found some clothes and put them on and when he heard Gray screaming about something called an umlaut decided maybe a walk on the beach might be warranted too. Gray clearly needed to relax.

Natsu stood behind his boyfriend watching the contents of his screen once again. His eyes narrowed when he realized that Gray was taking some sort of employment test. What was the idiot thinking?

Gray already worked twenty hours a week at his University on top of the hours spent studying and writing papers. They barely got to spend any time together as it was!

"Gray, we have a dinner reservation, remember?" Natsu tried to keep the irritation out of his voice, but the guilty expression on his boyfriend's face as he turned towards him let him know he'd forgotten.

“I know love, just give me thirty more minutes, okay?” Gray pleaded before muttering under his breath, “Maybe we should just stay home.”

Natsu was confused by those words, they rarely went out as it was. He moved away from Gray so as not to make it seem like he was pressuring him to hurry up, but he continued to watch his boyfriend struggle with the exam, looking through what looked to be a lengthy manual before settling on an answer. The poor guy looked absolutely miserable.

But true to his word thirty minutes later, Gray closed his computer and rushed to their bedroom to get dressed. He came out wearing Natsu's favorite, a dark blue button-down shirt that matched his eyes along with a pair of gray ripped jeans that hugged his every curve. After grabbing his wallet and keys, he sauntered over to Natsu and gave him a long, deep soulful kiss.

“Hey!” Gray greeted, smiling at Natsu’s dazed expression, “Sorry about earlier.”

Natsu could only nod, staring at him with undeniable longing. He shook his head slowly, and as the daze left his eyes, it was replaced by a smile that quite nearly took Gray's breath away. "Wow!"

Gray caressed Natsu’s cheek gently, chuckling at his boyfriend���s reaction before grabbing his hand and leading him out of their apartment.

“Where to?”

“I got us a reservation at that sushi restaurant you wanted to try out, you know, the one by the beach,” Natsu grinned happily, proud of himself for having remembered. But instead of looking excited, Gray only looked worried.

“That place is so expensive,” Gray mumbled.

“I know, but you work so hard, and I wanted to treat you a little during your break,” Natsu hugged Gray from behind, wrapping his arms around the other’s middle while resting his chin on the broad shoulders he loved.

"Can we go another time?" Gray had turned around to face him, and Natsu was having a hard time reading his expression.

When Gray saw Natsu's disappointment, he amended, "We could still go to the beach though, that'll be romantic, and maybe we can get some fast food on the way back."

“Fast food? But Gray, I wanted this to be special,” Natsu complained, it hadn’t been easy to get that reservation. He’d actually had to bribe someone for the first time in his life.

“Wasn’t it you who said we didn’t need to go anywhere to have something be special, all we needed was each other?” Gray reminded him.

“I said that when we were sixteen and had exactly zero money between us,” Natsu retorted and all of a sudden things started falling into place in his head like a jigsaw puzzle. He gave up on his fancy plans, already knowing it would be a disaster if he pushed.

“Fine, we’ll do what you suggested, but only if you promise to tell me what’s going on.”

Gray nodded in agreement, and they walked hand in hand towards the beach, which was only a few blocks from their small apartment. They remained silent, but once they arrived, they quickly took off their socks and shoes, letting the cool sand massage their feet as they walked towards the water. When they felt the first rush of waves cover their feet, they rolled up their pants and played as they always did, laughing along with the children around them who were doing the same.

After a few minutes of this, they found a secluded spot to sit and talk while waiting for the coming sunset. Gray sat on the chilly sand, legs crossed Indian style with Natsu leaning against him. He hugged Natsu's overly warm body to his chest and rested his head atop his lover's pink locks, enjoying the peacefulness of the beach around them.

Gray inhaled the salty air, letting the sounds of the waves crashing into the sand, the gulls squawking in protest and the families playing happily wash over him, and for the first time that day felt himself begin to relax.

He kissed Natsu’s head and smiled contentedly. It was nice to be able to spend time together like this. It sometimes astounded him how much he loved this man, even after so many years together. Just being like this was enough to make him happy, and he felt his worries slowly melt away.

But of course, the peace couldn't last forever, and Gray sighed when he heard Natsu ask the question he’d been dreading.

“What’s wrong?” Natsu broke the silence, his tone concerned, “Why are you looking for another job?”

Gray tensed up again, readying himself for the argument that was sure to follow. "Tuition went up again, and the cost of the textbooks I need for next semester is higher too."

“Is that all?” Natsu scoffed, turning around to glance at Gray, a reassuring smile at the ready, “I’ll just take a few more shifts, Laxus is always asking for people to come in and work overtime.”

“NO!” Gray snapped, startling Natsu with the intensity of his response.

"It's not fair for you to shoulder all of this, you work hard enough as it is, Natsu," Gray disputed hotly, "Your job is dangerous. If you're tired, you can easily get hurt!"

Natsu sighed, sad to be back to this old argument, "Why won’t you ever let my voice reach you? I’ve told you, I don't mind! If it helps you reach your dream, I will do it gladly."

“Natsu,” Gray groaned in frustration.

Natsu sat up and faced Gray, "I'm serious. Look, I'm not smart like you, I never had big goals to be anything like a doctor or a teacher. But I'm good with my hands, and I make a difference in my own way. I help build houses and make playgrounds. Sometimes, I fix things that are broken." Natsu smiled proudly, and Gray's heart skipped a beat at the brightness of it. "I help make our town nicer for others to enjoy."

Natsu cupped Gray's face as he continued, "But you, Gray, you're smart, and I love what you want to do with your life. I want to help you get there, please let me."

“You are smart, and a really hard worker,” Gray protested, “You’ve made a life for both of us since we graduated high school. Everything we have is because of you, and I feel like a fucking mooch.”

Natsu frowned, "Snowflake, you work even harder than I do. Between your course load and your work/study, you barely have any time for yourself. And that's your job right now, taking on another one is just going to make it worse. How much does it pay anyway?"

"Not much, " Gray admitted, "It pays by task, but I can do it from home, and I can help out."

“If I take extra shifts, I can make a lot more because it’ll count as overtime, “ Natsu pointed out, “It’ll only be for a little while. Besides,” Natsu added with a snort, “You looked absolutely miserable.”

“It did kind of suck, “ Gray agreed with a smile before sighing, “But I still feel guilty about everything you do for me. I can’t repay it.”

"I'm not looking for repayment dumbass, although if you were looking to do something for me, I could come up with a few ideas," Natsu smirked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively as he moved his body to where he was laying down on the sand with his head on Gray's lap.

Gray laughed and slapped Natsu’s shoulders playfully, “Pervert.”

"Mhmm, " Natsu accepted the accusation without complaint, moaning happily as he felt Gray's fingers in his hair, "In a couple of years, you'll be a doctor, and we'll be married, and we'll laugh at the small sacrifices we had to make along the way. We just have to hold on for a bit longer. That future is just around the corner."

“M-married?!” Gray stuttered, “You’ve thought about us getting married?”

“Haven’t you?” Natsu studied him curiously, smirking at the blush on Gray’s cheeks before closing his eyes as the fingers threading through his hair made him drowsy. “The guys at work already call you my wife, even your brother.”

Natsu didn't bother opening his eyes, the sharp tug on his hair was enough to let him know Gray's reaction, but he couldn't help teasing him further. "You'll look beautiful all swollen up with my kid."

“What?! I can’t get pregnant, I’m a guy!”

“Oh yeah, then I guess it’ll have to be me, I don’t mind, I like switching.”

“Moron, you’re a guy too!”

“Well,” Natsu grinned, “I guess we’ll just have to adopt the rugrats then. That’s probably for the best anyway, it would’ve been hard to be pregnant all the time when I tag along while you cure kids all over the world.”

“Natsu, that’s not even remotely how my job would work,” Gray facepalmed and then with growing alarm he asked, “Wait a minute! How many kids do you plan on us having?”

“Oh, tons! We’ll grab them from the orphanages where you’ll work,” Natsu giggled, not being able to help himself.

“Oh my god, just shut up!” Gray’s exasperation turned into laughter as he thought about Natsu’s words.

Yep, he loved this ridiculous man, and he let himself get carried away in the fantasy, envisioning a life with Natsu, chasing after little kids while pursuing their dreams. To his surprise, Gray found he loved the idea of it. The two of them married and starting a family together. He lowered his head, claiming Natsu's lips, smiling at the contented noises coming from the man beneath him.

“Come on, let’s go,” Gray urged Natsu off his lap.

“Where are we going?’ Natsu asked, confused by Gray’s sudden desire to leave the beach before the sun had even had a chance to set.

“Home,“ Gray winked before pulling a surprised Natsu to his feet. “Those kids aren’t going to make themselves.”

A/N I originally started this story in April, when I was the one taking that damn test. I'd never been so stressed out and writing this fic was going to be my reward for getting through it. It was initially going to be called What the Hell is an Umlaut?

I passed the test and started working only to realize I truly hated it. Thankfully my husband was okay with me quitting. I never got around to finishing it, and I'm glad that I found a prompt that fit where I wanted to go with it because I really like the way it came out. I hope you like it too!

Tagging @oceanwaves-blog because she asked me to :)

[voidheichou]

Stress Relief - A Stydia Fic

A/N: I started writing this when I was in the middle of my second year of university. The struggles that Lydia is going through in this fic was essentially what I was facing at the time - deadline after deadline, and no motivation to do the work. Obviously my only way to cope with the overwhelming work load was to procrastinate by writing about the overwhelming work load, hence this was born. I became too busy with uni however, and didn’t actually get round to finishing it until now, 9 months later, where I’m now procrastinating my final year work load. I hope you enjoy it!

Also, if you want to read my other Stydia fic which is set after 6A, feel free to do so here :)

Summary: Lydia is having a hard time keeping up with the demands of her college course. Naturally, her worries are calmed when her supportive boyfriend Stiles shows up to look after her.

Warnings: University life, stress, me portraying how much I need a Stiles in my life through this fic.

Words: 2479

It had been a long week.

The college life wasn’t easy for any student, and Lydia Martin wasn’t exempt from that. Despite having an IQ higher than 170 and being one of the smartest girls of her generation, Lydia wasn’t coping well with the stressors that currently consumed her. She had 3 assignments due in soon, 2 of which involved her carrying out entire experiments. That wasn’t all either. She was worried about Kira, not having heard from her since she went back to the skinwalkers more than a year ago, and she was starting to miss Beacon Hills. No matter how much she adored her housemates, dealing with filthy communal areas and loud noises at stupid times weren’t what Lydia would call ideal. It’s funny, dealing with the supernatural felt easier than this. She was currently sitting on the magnolia couch in the living room of her student house, attempting to concentrate. Her legs were crossed on the sofa, laptop placed on top of her, an organised mess of papers flourishing around her. A blank word document was open in front of her, the black cursor daring Lydia to make the first move to just write something, damn it. The girl who would once rise to any challenge was defeated however, and backed down with a sigh. She kept her laptop in place, but pushed her head back, hoping to find some inspiration for her work from the patterns on her ceiling. She ran the fingers of her left hand through her strawberry blonde hair. What was usually combed to perfection was now unruly and greasy, splayed out for miles it seemed. She was in dire need of a shower and a haircut, but time never seemed to be on her side for either of those things these days. Her 15 year old self would cringe at the sight of her now. She counterbalanced that last thought with the understanding that her problems back then were minimal in comparison to now. This lead Lydia to question why she was arguing with herself in the first place. It wasn’t productive or useful; if anything she was just procrastinating. When did her life turn into this? She huffed once more and glanced down to a blank screen, indicating that she spent more time zoning out than actually working. She woke up her laptop hastily, refusing to notice the hideous sight of her reflection on the screen. Her barely comprehensible thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door unlocking. Even though Lydia couldn’t concentrate, she hoped that whoever had just entered wouldn’t try to distract her. Moving away from her laptop to do anything else would be the worst decision right now. It was one thing to try and work but get nowhere; it was another to avoid the task all together. Her moment of worry ceased when she heard the sound of unique footsteps coming through the hallway. Lydia was comforted by the rhythm of footsteps that she had grown so accustomed to hearing. They were loud, but not harsh, heavy but not threatening. A warmth spread through the girl when the footsteps increased in volume, the special heat spreading through her once his figure came into her line of sight. She watched him for a second, noticing that he hadn’t yet seen her, probably expecting her to be in her bedroom. Before he got too far past the living room door, Lydia started to speak up, notifying him of her whereabouts. “Looking for me?” Stiles flailed at the unexpected voice, in a way that was so uniquely Stiles. Lydia was convinced that her boyfriend could have all the training in the world instilled into him by the FBI, CIA and the NSA: that still wouldn’t stop him from being so... expressive in his reactions. She laughed at his behaviour, loving that he could make her happy even during her most stressful times. “Lyds, you gotta give a guy some warning before you do that. You scared the crap out of me!” His tone was displeased, almost hostile, but his smile gave him away. Lydia smiled back and moved some of the mess around her to make space for Stiles. The brunette walked towards his girlfriend, closing the gap between the two of them. He swiftly kissed his girlfriend’s forehead, moving to sit to her left straight after. “Well, you didn’t tell me you were coming over, so shouldn’t I be the one getting a warning?” Lydia gave an inquiring look towards Stiles, the accusation just an excuse to admire his moles up close. The agent in training simply shook his head, smiling softly to himself before speaking gently. “Where’s your phone, Lydia?” The question startled the strawberry blonde a little, making her wonder why she hadn’t heard it ring in a while. She may not have the same mindset as her 15 year old self, but she was still just as popular as back then. Rummaging through the physical manifestation of her thoughts, her search through the stack of papers came up empty. Furrowing her brows, she turned back to Stiles, answering his question softly. “I must have left it upstairs, why? Is something wrong?” Stiles shook his head, mentally scolding himself for always thinking the worst. When he had asked his girlfriend if he could come over nearly an hour ago, he was expecting her to reply quickly like she usually does. He hadn’t seen her in a few days due to FBI training, and she never takes long to answer his calls or texts. When she hadn’t answered however, his mind created the worst scenarios that she could possibly be in, supernatural or otherwise. It was that thought process that made him decide to show up at her house anyway. It was clear that everything they’d gone through together still impacted Stiles, despite leaving that life behind in high school two years ago. He was guessing that if Lydia was concerned over not seeing one text, she was impacted in the same way.

Stiles sighed, trying not to dwell on the events that once consumed his life. Answering Lydia’s question, he replied “Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong. I just messaged you to see if you’re home so I could come over, and, well, you didn’t answer... so I came over anyway.”

His explanation was logical, but Lydia could clearly sense that Stiles was nervous. His speech was laced with hesitation, and while she was used to her boyfriend speaking with his entire body, Lydia also noticed that Stiles’ hand gestures were more rapid than usual. Picking up on his nonverbal cues, she decided to press him further. Leaving her right hand on her laptop to keep it steady, she reached out for his forearm with her left hand, playing with the hair poking out of his white shirt sleeve gently. With a head tilt and a playful smile on her lips, she spoke softly. “Not that I don’t love you being around and making the effort to see me, but is there a particular reason as to why you’re here?”

Her tone was curious, inquisitive even, but Stiles knew from the way her eyes pierced his soul that she’d be able to tell if he hid anything. He wasn’t even ashamed at his reason for turning up to his girlfriends house. He was however worried that she wouldn’t want him there. They may have been dating for a couple of years by now, and he’d never admit to this if anyone asked, but Lydia still scared Stiles at times. This was especially true when it came to her education, since she usually wanted to be left alone until she was done with an assignment. Having dealt with his own struggles through his last few years at college, he didn’t blame his girlfriend for her tendency to snap at those closest to her during times of stress. He just didn’t want to be on the receiving end of it today.

He started playing back with the hand that was on his arm, interlinking their fingers while he replied. “It’s just that I missed you, and I know you’re gonna say that it’s only been a few days since we saw each other last, but I’m stressed and exhausted, Lyds, I know you are too. So my last seminar for the day was cancelled and the first thing I thought of doing with my free hour was checking up on you. I know you’re trying to work though and you prefer to be alone, so I can leave if you want me to.” Stiles glanced down at their linked hands, worried that Lydia would instruct him to do just that. The strawberry blonde was smitten though; if her heart was beating any louder then Scott would be able to hear it from across the country in Beacon Hills. She understood why he was nervous now, but she would never distance herself from him on purpose, especially after the wild hunt. She lifted their still linked hands up closer to her, then kissed her boyfriends hand softly. There was a bruise surrounding the knuckle on his middle finger, and she remembered his animated story of how this weeks combat training was rough. She kissed around the rough spot once more, then glanced up at her boyfriend, a tiny smile etched onto his face from her actions.

“Stiles, you’re so sweet. If it was anyone else who had come to see me I would have asked exactly that, but not you. Never you.” Lydia couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face as she looked at Stiles. She would always appreciate the way he treated her, and she wanted him to know how much she cared for him in return. Breaking their eye contact, Lydia noticed the carrier bag at her boyfriends feet. “What’s in the bag? Is that your way of checking up on me?” She asked, squeezing his hand as she did so.

Stiles glanced down, remembering the items he’d bought before driving over to Lydia’s place. “Yeah I guess… well I just kind of assumed, you know, based on your previous habits around assignment deadlines, that eating isn’t a high priority of yours right now, so you probably haven’t eaten anything in a while.” Now that the thought had crossed her mind, Lydia couldn’t recall when her last meal was, or even the last time she had a snack. This coincidentally led her stomach to growl ferociously, making Stiles chuckle before he continued on. “That’s exactly why I thought I could make something for you.” His eyes were wide, excitement coursing through his veins as he explained his little plan.

That was another thing Lydia loved about the young man sitting next to her. He was full of ideas. No matter how terrible they could be sometimes, his enthusiasm towards them made the possible frustration of following through with them well worth it.

“You do realise that making beans on toast doesn’t count as cooking, right?” Stiles rolled his eyes at Lydia’s quip, not even denying the fact that his skills in the kitchen were poor. “Yes, thanks for that, I’m well aware. Luckily for you though I thought we could have something a bit more edible that even I can’t mess up.” Releasing his hand from Lydia’s, Stiles reached into the plastic bag, bringing out a thin, square cardboard box. “What better way is there to de-stress than spending time with your boyfriend eating oven pizza?”

Lydia laughed once she saw the packaging, partially because of how much her boyfriend struggled to pull it out of the box, but also because of the way he was wiggling his eyebrows at his idea. “Well who am i to argue with that?” She paused, still smiling but she chose to speak in a more serious tone. “Seriously though, thank you. I don’t just mean for the food but the fact that you wanted to check on me with your spare time, and that you knew what kind of state I’d be in but you came anyway. It means a lot to me, more than I can put into words. I love you.” She reached up and kissed Stiles’ cheek before sitting back and continuing on. “Besides, I could probably do with some pizza and company from you, considering I’m not making any headway so far with this.” She pointed to her laptop as she finished her sentence, the black screen emphasising her lack of progress with the assignment due at the end of next week. Lydia sighed, rolling her eyes at how she couldn’t get away from her reflection this time.

Before her thoughts could manifest into self-hatred over how she looked and felt in general, Stiles held her hand once more. He was always pulling her back from the darkness without even realising it. She turned to him as he began speaking softly to her, maintaining eye contact throughout. “First of all, I love you too, you don’t need to thank me, I’m always going to look out for you, and I know you’d do the same for me. Secondly, how about you take a break for a while. I know that’s probably the last thing you feel like doing, especially if you haven’t done much work, but maybe it will help. I can put this pizza in the oven and some popcorn in the microwave, and then we can talk through what you’re struggling with while we eat and maybe watch something. How does that sound?”

It’s funny, Lydia thought. Back in high school she was the one to constantly render Stiles speechless. At some point during their relationship however, the tables had turned. Now Lydia was the one who was at a loss for words, just from little, effortless things that Stiles says and does. It was something which she hadn’t experienced with her previous boyfriends, and she was once again reminded of how much she appreciated him. With a bright smile and a nod of her head, she replied back with “that sounds great. We’re not watching Star Wars, though.” She laughed at his groan and little pout, knowing that he wasn’t seriously upset over her lack of interest in the franchise.

Lydia knew that she’d basically just agreed to being distracted from her work, something she didn’t want to happen in the first place. In that moment however, she couldn’t care less, because she was with Stiles, and he made her happy. He’d go through her assignments with her eventually, and together they’d sort through what was being asked of her, until she was no longer wound up by the tasks. Until then, she didn’t mind spending some quality time with the person who was essentially her anchor. Maybe avoiding her work for a little longer wouldn’t be that bad after all.

[chokeonmydickgrayson]

Headcanon #12

Taking the Batfam home to meet your Family.

Dick:

You’d probably have to tell him about twenty times on the ride there to keep his hands to himself, not even a little hand holding in front of your parents. (Lord knows how eager he is to have his hands on you at all times, though honestly you never mind it. You’re father however would slaughter him at the sight of any physical contact between the two of you and you were not going to be splitting up any fights tonight.)

Though Dick, being the playful idiot he was, would probably ignore your warnings. He’d slickly let his hands linger on yours as he’d pass you things around the house, subtitly winking to you as he did so. It makes your heart beat skip and draws a smirk to your lips, you loved his playfulness.

Other then his occasional defiance of the whole hands to yourself rule, he’d be a down right proper gentleman.

Before dinner he’d help your mother in the kitchen with the food, prepping the vegetables, setting and removing the pot roast from the oven, even grabbing her the various bottles of spices she collects and keeps stores up on the top shelves (which she can’t reach for the life of her and is to stubborn to move no matter how many times you and your father beg her to). Once he leaves the room your mother would most likely grab your arm and smack you lightly questioning instantly about plans of a wedding. “Your not getting any younger Y/N and neither am I! I want my damn grandbabies! He’s gentle, he can cook and he’s got the looks” she’d wink with a shake of the hips before giving a chuckle when youd flush red and burry your face in your palms “im just sayin’...the way he looks at you is the same way your father looked at me when we used to date...It’s clear he really loves you sweetheart.”

During dinner he’d probably be seated next to you. He’d probably let his leg rest against yours as he ate, he remembering to use those billionaire manors Alfred and Bruce instilled in him. It warmed your heart at how hard he truly was trying to impress your parents, you’d probably have to repay him the favor after dinner. He’d do his best to impress the table with some quirky banter and after the meal he’d be the first to excuse himself to help clear the table and help with the dishes. (Geh you almost wished he did the dishes at home. You’d give a chuckle and roll your eyes at just how much of a kiss ass he was being, but you thought it was cute.)

After dinner he’d probably try an attempt to spend time with your father. He was positive he had your mother’s approval but, he needed to know your father approved of him as well. It would come in hand one day when he asked for your hand in marriage. He’d probably sit back on the couch diagonal from your fathers recliner and watch the football game with him, he making small talk about the games plays. (As much as Dick enjoyed sports he never got to watch them, with your ever busy life styles sitting home and lounging in front of the tv watching Sunday night football was never an option). Your father knowing what Dick was doing would be the least bit interested in what he had to say. He’d give a sigh and mute the game, not making eye contact as he spoke “if you wanna brown nose my ass kid, your fucking shitty at it. Let me just save you the trouble, i will never approve of anyone that my little girl brings into this house, I know what a young guy like yourself wants with a beautiful girl like my daughter, I was your age once too.” He’d probably sip at a bottle of beer, before placing it on the coffee table in front of him leaning in closer for Dick to meet his eyes. “That being said, you make my little girl happier than I’ve ever seen her. You’ve made it further than anyone else she’s ever dated, no one else has made it into this house” he’d hum fingers rubbing at the short kept black beard on his chin. “You must be special to her...you two got pet names?” He’d ask Dick through squinted eyes, to which Dick unsure how to answer would blurt no. A bluff, your father could smell it a mile away. “What do bees make?” To which a very confused dick would blink and answer back “wait? What? Um, Honey?” You’d hear the word honey and poke your head through the kitchens serving window and respond with “Yeah baby?” Dick would turn bright red in the face and your father would hum with satisfaction, leaning himself back into his chair with his beer, returning the tv volume back to normal “your a shitty liar, you’ll do I guess”

Jason:

Jay wasn’t the most polished of all guys, sure he knew manners but more times than not he’d never use them. You’d beg him to at least try and act like he was raised in a damn house and not like a hood rat raised in the gutters of Gotham. He’d probably take notice of how important this was to you and do his best to comply. You debated telling him to be careful with how much physical contact he’d put out, but you knew it’d be a waste of your breath to even try.

His palms would be damp most likely out of nerves (but hell if he’d admit that to anyone.) You’d slide your hand into his regardless of the sweat, and knot your fingers together giving him a gentle reassuring squeeze “you’ll be fine, no matter what happens tonight i will still love you” you’d whisper to him leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He’d appreciate that more than he’d be able to express.

While you and your mother begin to cook dinner, Jason would be sat on a chair in the kitchen most likely findling with his phone doing some type of “work”. Generally unless spoken to, he wouldn’t speak which could problematically be seen as rude. Your mother would most likely eye you over with disapproval and annoyance motioning to the phone in his hand. Moms are gonna mom. You’d sigh and call his name, evoking an immediate response of “what?” You cringing at the tone. Throughly to be clear you’re not cringing due to the toughness of his tone, but from the fact that you knew his response was going to catch a bit of lash back. You’d just take a breath and hand him a carrot and a peeler. He’d look at you with a brow raised before looking down at the carrot “am I suppose to freaking chop it or something?” He’d ask honestly unknowing that some people did in fact peel the top layer of a carrot off. You’d just snort a bit to his response you not thinking anything out of ordinary it. With a gentle shove of the shoulder you’d take the carrot back and demonstrate proper peeling procedures before handing it back “think you can handle that Mr tough guy? If not I got some heavy dishes in need setting up that have your name engraved right on ‘em” you’d tease. Your mothers eyes would watch the two of you more eased by the way he reacted to you, however her impression so far wasn’t the best. Once he’d finished peeling the carrots and had left the kitchen your mother would pull you aside and voice her concerns. “I know you love him Y/N but are you sure he’s good for you? I mean I can see what you see in him” she’d pause watching him as he set the table. There was no denying Jason was one gorgeous man, the honest to god total bad boy packag. Stunning body build, beautiful piercing blue eyes, and that irritatingly gorgeous dark hair with that one white pinstrip. God you couldn’t help but watch him as well. You could have spent the rest of the night just fantising about what you’d do for him later if your mother had not stopped you. “I’m just saying baby, think about it before you make any choices. You say he treats you well, and I can’t be one to disagree, I just don’t appreciate the foul mouth and the attitude. He clearly means a lot to you and you clearly mean a lot to him...maybe just try and smooth his edges out”

During dinner Jason would most likely take a seat next to you, however across from your father. At some point in your meal you’d ask “daddy could you pass me the salt?” Hey, you were still young and your father was one of the most important figures of your life. Your father would reach forward his hand overlapping onto Jason’s, confusion and anger splaying over his face. Jason had unintentionally without paying attention as well reached to hand you the salt, seeing as how sometimes you could be guilty of calling him by the same name during bedroom play. Your face would be bright red as you sink in your seat, Jay casually chewing the piece of meat in his mouth “oh wow, this is kinda awkward....Id love to give you an excuse for why I reached for the salt, but i got nada.....your daughter calls me daddy too.” He’d smirk.

There was no after dinner, your fathers top blew, you and Jason being kicked out of the house. Don’t worry, your father would leave Jason with fairwell parting gift, a good clip to the jaw....It’s safe to say your father does NOT approve of Jason and your mothers view point may be more skewed now. He’d look defeated and upset that he messed up tonight so badly but how could you stay mad at him. Your family could be difficult there was a reason you didn’t come around much yourself. You’d just press yourself into his torso planting soft kisses there “I’m proud that you at least gave it your best shot Jay, but i hope ya don’t have hopes of ever being called Daddy again after tonight.”

Tim:

You would have zero concerns about taking Tim home to meet your family. He was respectful, smart, and handsome, he was everything you look for in the boy you bring home to mom and dad. You were excited for your family to finally meet him, you’d only chewed your mothers ear off endlessly about the amazing boy you’ve been blessed with, you couldn’t wait to flaunt him off.

Tim however, would be a nervous wreck. He’d probably ask Bruce about a thousand times how he should act and what he should say. He didn’t want to blow this, you mean the world to him, he’d hate for you to leave him over a small screw up. He’d be so nervous he’d practice the phrase “Hi Mr and Mrs Y/L/N I’m Tim, it’s nice to meet you” about a thousand times. You’d notice his jitters and would let your palm slip innocently against his lap, softly petting his upper thigh. “Relax Tim, you’re over thinking it. We’re just grabbing dinner with my folks, just be the Tim Drake I fell in love with, he’s the best guy I know” you’d tell him. I’d do wonders for his nerves.

Before dinner Tim would be attentive and helpful in the kitchen, he’d start cooking right along side your mother as if he were part of the family. (Which you were glad he felt that way) Your mother would love how eager Tim was to learn her cooking methods, even if he was a terrible cook. It was an A for effort from her. Youd crack a grin and watch as he used the might of those finely toned muscles of his to mash the potatoes. He’d look so adorable in your mothers apron, his tongue greased our past his lips in the corner as he really focused on the task at hand. You’d give a smile while your mother wasn’t looking and dab a bit of potato on his nose kissing his cheek softly. Nobody but you and Tim has to know about that. She’d smile when he walked out of the room, she watching him take his time to set out the table out in the dining room. “You were right Y/N, when your right your right. I didn’t believe you when you said you’d found the perfect guy but I can’t argue with you! He’s a little cutie pie, you two are adorable together hunny. He must really love you to go through all this trouble tonight, you’re very lucky.” She was right, you watched him with practically heart shaped eyes. You were incredibly lucky.

Dinner would go fairly smooth. He’d do his best to help clean up after dinner, though he’d end up making bigger mess in the kitchen so your mother would banish him from her realm.

After dinner he’d sit with your father, though Tim being the shy guy he was didn’t really have much to say. He didn’t give a damn about sports, the only thing Tim could talk about that he and your dad had in common would be you. He’d clear his throat and rub his palms nervously on his pant legs he clearing his throat “S-sir....i know I’m not the hippest guy on the block and I get it if you’d rather your daughter date someone cooler than me...but I can promise you I’m never gonna do anything wrong by her. She means a lot to me and I’m sorry I don’t have much else to say, I don’t think other than Y/N we really have anything in common” he’d nervously laugh “but I can tell you that I love her and I promise every day I fight to be a better me so she can have best me possible.” He’d say eyes locking with your fathers.

Your father would take in a deep breath and look Tim over once or twice not saying a word, turning his attention back to the tv. He’d pass a beer over to Tim cracking it open. “You’re an okay kid” he’d say pounding back a good swing of that alcohol before slamming the can down on the table “but if you’re lying to me and you break my baby girls heart I’m gonna break your damn knee caps” Hey, if ya don’t make the threat are you really her father? All jokes aside your father would absolutely approve. He’d pull you aside after he’d shaken poor Tim’s ass and whisper into your ear “don’t tell him i want him to fear me a bit, but I approve sweetie, you picked a good guy.”

[old1ddude]

Harry Styles, Seattle

My Experience and Perceptions 

My daughter and I got in line for security at about 7:15.  Ever mindful of demographics I took note of the crowd.  Mostly (75% maybe?) women somewhere from late teens to twenty something.  I was encouraged to see quite a few dads in line as well as women closer to my age.  Many of the dads were with their wives, but did not appear to have daughters near them.  (Either they were hanging back, giving their daughters some space, or they were actual Harry fans.)  There appeared to be a good number of young men, certainly more than in my demographic.  Many were obviously with girlfriends many alone, or maybe with female “just friends.”  (Just my gut from what I saw.)  I saw a group of 4 young guys in line ahead of us - nothing about them clued me as to their sexual orientation.  I only saw a few guys who were very obviously gay™ (I don’t claim to have great “gaydar.”)

Once inside, we decided to get our merch, even though it meant probably missing the first song or two from Musgraves.  My daughter and I were chatting about the shirts on display and the young man in front of us turned and answered a question we were asking ourselves.  He was very nice and seemed very gay, or camp, in the way he spoke.  Everyone we came in contact with seemed to be taking “treat people with kindness” to heart.  The whole atmosphere felt warm, inviting, safe and friendly.  I had planned to get the Treat People With Kindness shirt, but they were out of XXL. 

I ended up buying a black shirt with this picture on the front and a list of all his tour stops on the back.  (Disregard special guest Warpaint and everything below that.)  I can’t find a pic of the actual shirt, but I quite like it.  Those hollow body Gibsons are almost as pretty as he is!

We got some Harry Styles guitar picks from the Seattle Children’s hospital table.  I think the people staffing the table were from the hospital foundation - they were very happy and effusive about Harry’s generosity.  (We’ll give a few picks to my son.  He likes Harry’s music and plays guitar.)  They were also surprised at how many fans knew all about his support of a local charity in each tour city.  My daughter and I had our picture taken by the charity table, in front of a big yellow banner and holding a “Treat People With Kindness” sign.  We were giddy, excited and soaking the whole experience in.

I have seen some very credible, pro Harry blogs lament that he has monetized TPWK, by selling merch with the slogan.  I understand their concerns, but I think the only way Harry can cheapen TPWK is by failing to live it.  From everything I see, he lives it as well as any mere human could be expected to.  I think it’s lovely we have a chance to literally buy into TPWK.

Kacey Musgraves has a pretty voice and was very pleasant to listen to.  (I do not care for much country twang, her’s is subtle.)  Follow Your Arrow is a very nice, positive song, but it is a bit of a sermon.  I feel the real power of art is in evoking emotion, empathy, or telling a compelling story, not sermonizing.  I shouldn’t complain.  I just feel her message would be stronger if the song told a story.  I quite liked the song she did featuring a trumpet.  My daughter thinks that may have been a cover??  

For fellow oldsters, or people who value their hearing, I highly recommend:

This is the brand I got (black case for me and red for my daughter) but there are many similar to chose from.  I tried pulling one out a few times and the volume was punishing.  These cut the decibels without the muffled sound from normal hearing protection.  Harry sounded BETTER and I could hear HIM better with the plugs in!  We used the “High” protection filters.

The few empty seats we observed earlier were filling in.  From what I saw, very few spots went unused.  We were amped when the screen dropped and the Rubik’s Cube animation started.  When the screen finally lifted, revealing iconic, wide leg, white trousers, everyone was cheering on their feet.  (Seats were only for the opener, I saw no one sitting after Harry appeared.)  He was absolutely magnetic.  The staging and lights were beautifully done.  Nothing felt cheesy, or gimmicky.  I can’t imagine Harry doing a show with dancers, or any of the normal pop/rock/etc. gimmicks and distractions.  Everything felt just right.  Everything felt, looked and sounded real and authentic.  (I always loved 1D’s rejection of the gimmicks too.  I love Liam, but he’s wrong on that one!  Who cares about the noise, narratives and PR?  This was Harry - a real and genuine side of Harry.) 

Harry’s voice was incredible live.  My daughter, who was only a casual fan, wished he had done a few more of his big, high notes.  I’m fine with him preserving those vocal cords - I would kill to protect them.  I tried to observe more about the band, but mostly I didn’t want to take my eyes off Harry.  The screen was nice for capturing his facial expressions, but I was finally seeing him with my own eyes.  I’ve been watching him on screen for years!  The interaction between Harry and Mitch was cute.  I think Harry is slowly turning Mitch into more of a performer, rather than only a highly skilled guitarist.  The blue-green lights during JaLBoYH were lovely.  I wish I had known about them ahead of time.  The quality of sound for the band and Harry’s vocals were positively exceptional.  There are precious few performers in this world who can equal it.

We were looking directly down at Harry’s profile when he moved to the B stage.  It felt a lot closer than I would have thought from the seating map.  Harry looked our way and we all (in my general area) excitedly waved, but there was no eye contact, or acknowledgment, despite my very bright Hawaiian shirt!  (It’s okay, I knew it was a long shot given the distance and relative darkness of the crowd.)  He was in fine form for IICF, pausing before Louis’ part and a long, dramatic shushing!  I had a bandanna in my pocket, in case I got emotional, but the whole atmosphere was so happy and warm, even during his heavy songs.  

A straight couple was sitting directly in front of my daughter and I.  The boyfriend was FULLY invested in the concert and videoed many songs on his phone.  As I said earlier, I didn’t notice anyone disengaged, from where I was sitting.  

When Harry moved back to the main stage, his audience interaction game kicked in.  I’m sure you’ve seen the gifs and clips already.  He was charming, delightful and sassy.  He was really sweet to a young girl (14) at her fist concert.  The half birthdays aren’t a thing bit was gold.  The one who found their soulmate.  Charlie’s gay birthday.  It was all delightfully sweet and entertaining. 

There were a lot of tiny rainbow flags in the pit and a few throughout the stadium.  I saw several women wearing LBGT+ shirts, of various types, in my area.  The whole atmosphere felt very safe and welcoming to all.  Harry ENTHUSIASTICALLY waved several flags during WMYB (I’m sure you’ve seen the videos.)  Harry’s message of kindness and love was palpable, but the show didn’t feel political, or heavy handed, to me.  (I think that strengthens his message and appeal.)

My daughter loved What Makes You Beautiful and Kiwi most of all.  She’s never been a hard core 1D fan, but always loved WMYB.  Kiwi is her favorite from his album.  Seeing him go so hard for Kiwi live really was a treat.  I loved the whole experience very much.  Standouts for me were:  The dramatic open with Only Angel (screen coming up - the whole experience.)  MMitH isn’t my favorite on the album, but hearing it live was beautiful - Mitch played the 12 string acoustic which had the most beautiful sound (other than Harry’s voice.)  Sweet Creature and If I Could Fly on the B stage went directly to my heart.  The audience interaction was pure gold.  The heartfelt gratitude he expressed several times.  Kiwi live really was a sight.

This was supposed to be a brief recap - guess I got carried away!  :)

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe Podcast: Volume 2, Episode 3: Peridot

In the new season of the Steven Universe Podcast launched January 25, 2018, episode 3, released February 8, 2018, is about Peridot! The official description:

Why does Peridot call everyone a "clod?" Find out on this episode of the Steven Universe Podcast as creator Rebecca Sugar and former Executive Producer Ian Jones-Quartey return to discuss Peridot! Discover what inspired her design and personality traits, and how Rebecca's real life experiences shaped Peridot's development and storyline. Plus, Shelby Rabara, the voice of Peridot, and storyboard artist Amber Cragg join to share their favorite Peridot moments and episodes, and speculate on how Peridot is spending her free time away from the Gems! And Peridot herself answers some fan questions about best pets, earth fashion, and the Crystal Temps!

This is very long because the podcasts are getting long, and I don’t want to skimp on the detail but I also don’t want to overwhelm anyone with too much text. Therefore, I will open with bulleted highlights and include a more detailed narrative under the read-more.

Highlights:

Shelby Rabara thinks Peridot letting Steven and Amethyst help her in the episode “Back to the Kindergarten” was a real turning point for her as an expression of trust.

Amber Cragg thinks Peridot is a fantastic “icebreaker” character who is functioning these days as a Crystal Gems mascot.

Peridot’s free time on the weekends, according to Amber, would probably be occupied playing video games like Farmville and trying to make vlogs but failing to edit properly. Shelby thinks she does random art installations.

Peridot’s “clod” catch phrases originated with Ian Jones-Quartey doing an alien impression in the writers’ room, combined with an interpretation of science bros being condescending about concepts like evolution when they could have easily been more gentle and welcoming. 

“Marble Madness” combined story elements of discovering the Gems’ pasts with the Gems themselves learning something new about the present.

Rebecca feels that Peridot’s evolution from being a Homeworld flunky to discovering what happens when the system does NOT work for someone is a very important aspect of her character.

Peridot truly believed Homeworld’s philosophy was good for everyone and was not shy about being cruel to those who defied it; Rebecca related this to her experience being a Jewish kid getting shamed for her assumed beliefs by people who honestly thought they were doing her a favor.

Do Gems emerge from the ground with their indoctrination to Homeworld already embedded, or is it taught to them through propaganda? Some of both.

Shelby Rabara, in character as Peridot, suggests the Crystal Temps’ next adventure should involve baking an ube roll with Lars; that she’d like to learn eating so she can make noises; that she’d like to make vinyl pants that can have music embedded in them; and that dogs are the Best Earth Animal.

The detailed summary, including Shelby and Amber discussing Peridot's evolution, Rebecca and Ian discussing Peridot’s origin, and fan questions answered in character . . .

Read it all below!

McKenzie opens by asking storyboard artist Amber Cragg and Peridot's voice actor Shelby Rabara to discuss the episodes "Raising the Barn" and "Back to the Kindergarten." Shelby feels very in suspense when she watches new episodes because it's been so long between when she recorded and when she gets to see it. She loves when Peridot is so depressed lying in the bathroom, with that awful face Paul Villeco drew on her, and how she wants to bring her music to the kindergarten.

Shelby points out that Peridot lets her friends Amethyst and Steven cheer her up, and says it's an act of trust, which is a bit of a turning point for her. Even though Peridot ends up having an outburst and unloading, it's important to know that hope can sometimes come in the form of other people inspiring it in you.

Amber thinks an important aspect is Peridot's energy; she has a ton of it, and she can end up investing it in the wrong place. She was so careful with Lapis that she never wanted to say anything to rock the boat, and Lapis didn't talk back much, so neither really communicated, and it became a disaster of misunderstanding. But sometimes even if you invest energy into what ends up being a wasted effort, it's okay. You have to know when to move on. Amber mentions loving the scene that Katie drew looking at the sunflowers and riding in the train.

McKenzie clarifies that sometimes the issue is it being the wrong person you invest your time and effort into, and sometimes it's the wrong time. You can't fixate too much on ONE thing that has to be perfect or it's all over, or you could end up with nothing. She brings up Peridot's changing love for the Earth and its inhabitants, and asks what they think about that. Shelby thinks Peridot's love has developed partly because of how others there have treated her. Peridot's no longer just a "space Dorito"; she has empathy now. Amber says the Crystal Gems helped her find her roots, and now whether she likes it or not, Earth is home.

McKenzie leads into discussing Peridot's relationships and sense of self. Does Peridot put Amethyst down as defective as a way of increasing her own sense of self-worth? Amber says Peridot first noticed how all the Gems on Earth ignore the rules she's lived her life by forever, and how she's incensed by this at first, only to find she can develop her own personality through ignoring what she was told to be as well. Shelby runs through some interpretations of Peridot's perceptions of the other Gems, seeing Pearl as beneath her, Amethyst as cool despite her flaws, and Garnet as requiring compartmentalization. Shelby brings up Peridot's willingness to let the others show her who they are, and highlights the scene with Peridot being willing to try dancing with Garnet. (Her interpretation is that Peridot's response is to feel dirty and resolve never to try again.) 

Still, the Crystal Gems being full of surprises parallels her experience with Earth itself. Peridot herself got to be a complete ham, take herself in whatever direction she wanted and be encouraged by the others. No one will ever stifle her attempts to grow. We can take the message home that we can change even if we're past childhood or adolescence; we can reinvent ourselves and still access support.

McKenzie asks what the other Gems may have learned from Peridot, and Amber says they may have been inspired to see someone new coming into the fold as someone who needed their guidance and help. Amber thinks Peridot almost functions as a mascot--as a source of energy and morale. Everyone loves her, and she's a great "icebreaker" character, inspiring the others to be less blocked in and cautious.

And for her last question to them, McKenzie brings up how Lamar and Rebecca suggested Garnet and Greg play tennis on the weekends; in that light, what do Amber and Shelby think Peridot does? Amber thinks she argues with people on the Internet and is a pro gamer on Farmville (handle: ClodFarmer3000). She probably also tries to make vlogs but can't edit. Maybe she's taking a class in Adobe After Effects. Shelby thinks she does random art installations. Maybe blending in with a tree, not blinking. Or trying to be a mannequin in a clothing store. Or eating french fries and messing with people using her metal powers. She wouldn't let anyone in during her art creation process.

Ian and Rebecca talk origins and concepts:

Peridot was conceived pretty early on. Ian used to bust out with an alien impression in the writers' room, with generic not-understanding-humans statements, and he really wanted to put a similar alien in the show. 

The origin of Peridot's favorite word "clod" began with Rebecca and Ian watching the Cosmos remake, which sort of makes you fall in love with science--but then there's another side of it, with people who get mad at religion and are angry with those who don't understand evolution. Ian would do a voice of a "frustrated liberal": "But the Earth was created in seven days!" "No it wasn't, you CLOD." "Evolution is real, CLOD!" They point out that evolution is such a beautiful concept, but some of its proponents want to win you to their side by being mean about it. They believe more in being gentle.

They connected this with Peridot eventually, first starting with Elle Michalka wanting to include a Gem named Peridot combined with Rebecca's inkling that she wanted to handle Steven getting cyberbullied on the show. That didn't exactly come to fruition, but the idea of the person doing it--harassing someone and threatening someone from far away--became Peridot. This worked well with their desire to include discovery of the Gems' pasts and mix that with them learning something new about the present. Rebecca loved the episode "Marble Madness" because they'd written everything referenced in that episode to all be tied in together, dependent on information that had been revealed carefully in previous episodes.

Rebecca enjoyed bringing Peridot in as an example of a Gem who really toes the line and buys Homeworld propaganda; she relates it to her experience growing up Jewish and having other kids tell her they know she's categorically wrong about all of reality based on what box they believed she belonged in. The kids were never shy about telling her what punishment awaited people who don't pick the right religion, and honestly believed they're helping her out by saying these things; Peridot is similar, having never met a Gem for whom the order of the Diamonds was not beneficial, and she is not worried about whether the Crystal Gems' feelings will be hurt if she says so. 

Rebecca says Peridot may seem conceited, but she isn't; she knows she's a grunt, a maintenance worker, and is only proud because she knows her place. She believes the others she's meeting are just as not-special as she is, but then she comes to find out there are Gems who were failed by the system, and that changes her outlook. Always before, she thought the Homeworld philosophy really was the best for everyone, but when she finds out it isn't, she also realizes she herself is outside the system. You have to change your thinking when you learn the way things are is bad for some people.

McKenzie then asks about Gem indoctrination; do they pop out of the ground with these beliefs intact, or is it drilled into them? Ian acknowledges this is a big question about the nature of Gems, and they agree it's some of both. Peridot, as a maintenance worker, didn't think about questioning the system because she was just too busy working within it, going to a bunch of different places and learning about them, and also unknowingly absorbing revised history created to edit out what made Homeworld look unsuccessful or imperfect.

Peridot answers questions:

Peridot perks up at the mention of questions sent through Twitter and demonstrates recognition of the medium, and claims she has only taken over the CN Twitter when she's had PERMISSION.

McKenzie: I've heard rumors that you forcibly took over Cartoon Network's social media channels?

Peridot: I wouldn't call it forcibly. I basically did it because I felt like it, but who needs permission these days? I'm Peridot, hello.

McKenzie: That's fair. You are the #1 cartoon character according to that post.

Peridot: Did you see Shelby Rabara congratulated me? I got to talk to SHELBY RABARA. Oh my god. I don't think she knew that I self-proclaimed that I was the #1 cartoon character.

McKenzie: Would you ever consider leading another adventure as the Crystal Temps?

Peridot: I love being the Crystal Temps. I mean, everybody knows that I am The Garnet, the best one. I'm not as good as THE Garnet, but I think Lapis and Connie and myself, I think we would be really really great at baking cakes, specifically ube cakes with Lars.

McKenzie: Interesting! So would Pumpkin accompany you on that one, or would Lars take the place of Pearl?

Peridot: Oh no, Pumpkin definitely would be by my side, who's gonna lick up the extra ube cake when it--I don't wash floors, that's what Pearls do.

McKenzie: Speaking of food, if you could eat anything, what would you want to try first? Cookie Cats, Fry Bits, or something else?

Peridot: I would definitely try fry bits, because there's something about the oil bubbling really violently that makes it really really neat to watch. And apparently when I watch Steven eat the fry bits, he makes this loud noise, so I'm interested in how many loud noises I can make all at the same time.

McKenzie: What is objectively the best Earth pet? There's dogs, cats, hamsters, are you familiar with those?

Peridot: What is the difference between a hamster and--cats?

McKenzie: Cats are larger and they would probably eat a hamster.

Peridot: Oh my god, they eat a hamster? Cats eat hamsters?

McKenzie: They eat mice, which are related to hamsters I'm pretty sure.

Peridot: I ate a Cookie Cat. Was I eating a real cat?

McKenzie: That is a separate thing.

Peridot: Are dogs loyal?

McKenzie: They are. That is their main feature.

Peridot: Okay. Well, Pumpkin is super loyal to me, so if Pumpkin's anything like an Earth dog, I would have to say my final answer would be the best Earth pet is a dog, if it's remotely anywhere near Pumpkin.

McKenzie: What is a piece of Earth fashion that you've always wanted to try on?

Peridot: Is there something called vinyl on Earth? I would like to try on some vinyl pants. Very shiny. I don't know if they're easy to walk in, but something about the vinyl, the scratchy sound it makes. Don't Earth people put music on vinyl? Or am I getting that mixed up with the round thing?

McKenzie: Yeah, they're both called vinyl. They're not on the pants. There's no music in the pants.

Peridot: There should be music in the pants.

McKenzie: Maybe that should be the next step.

Peridot: Is that something that I can contribute to Earth? Making vinyl music pants that can play music while you walk?

McKenzie: I think that that's definitely something you should look into.

Peridot: Peridot, Peridot, Peridot, Peridot is going to own vinyl music pants!

McKenzie: I look forward to getting a pair.

Peridot: Me too. Me too. Me too McKenzie.

McKenzie: What is your favorite part about being a farmer?

Peridot: It is just so amazing to have my hands in the dirt. I love the smell of dirt, I love those white little rock thingies that supposedly help with water drainage. I really enjoy that something like soil has striations in it, just like rock. You have to put the bottom layer with rocks and you have to put some mulch on top, and then on top of that more dirt, and more rocks on top. So there is definitely a way to create soil that has good drainage, has all the yummy stuff for all these flowers and fruits and vegetables to grow in. So I really do believe being a farmer is something that is just ingrained in me.

McKenzie: You take it seriously.

Peridot: I take it very seriously. I am mulching every other day McKenzie. I am getting bags of mulch. Pumpkin likes to eat the mulch, and that's a problem.

McKenzie: If you had a podcast, what would you make yours about?

Peridot: This is a great question. I'm gonna need a moment. Now, what we're doing right now, a podcast, where people listen to us in our podcast, would I be able to have guests come on my podcast?

McKenzie: You can have guests on the podcast.

Peridot: I watched an episode of Mr. Rogers one time. Steven was watching it, so I got to watch it as well. And other than Camp Pining Hearts, that's still my number one show. Mr. Rogers has all these people come on the show and talk about how they make things, like mozzarella cheese. One time this man came on the show and showed how they made mozzarella cheese, and stretched it with their hands and put it in the water after molding it into little balls. I would really like to have maybe the inventor of yellow Post-It sticky pads. I would just wanna know people's thought processes? Like, what makes that glue on the top of the Post-It note? How does a microphone work? Who invented the button? I don't have any buttons on my clothes, obviously, but Steven one time wore a polo shirt with a button. And I was fixated with this little tiny round thing with four holes. I would like to know who made that button. Who are the great minds behind Earthling things?

McKenzie: Buttons have probably been around for a while. I don't know that the person who made buttons is still with us, if you know what I'm getting at.

Peridot: Oh that's a shame.

McKenzie: But I think that the mozzarella cheese thing sounds great!

Peridot: Where do people go?

McKenzie: Um....

Peridot: Is that for the next podcast?

McKenzie: Yeah we'll talk about that next time.

Peridot: Okay.

An episode about Pearl is next week!

[Archive of Steven Universe Podcast Summaries]

[felipaynst717-blog]

Wie erhalte ich kostenlose spiele von rtl und zahle nicht The Outer Worlds

Review The Outer Worlds

A year ago, Obsidian published The Outer Worlds on the say of dangerous complaint of Outcome 76. Today, when Bethesda no longer presents the quilt of the bad RPG release, things happen so attractive anymore.

From the beginning, a muted voice behind the skull warned us hostile to The Outer Worlds. That undertaken to convert myself that this game is not exactly what I became expecting – that it will not necessarily exist a new magnum opus from Obsidian Entertainment, value any volume of funds with any amount of times of your kick. The silent voice was not very well... but it became completely wrong either. The Outer Worlds walked away only a good game.

But that project took every risk in the planet to be a great success. After all, Feargus Urquhart's group used the same framework as with the past games, with Pillars of Eternity at the forefront. They catch on the origin in the RPG genre – however, the beginnings of the Fight series – and gone work the same dish, according to the same recipe, maybe adding some more modern flavors, such as original imagination and using more modern hardware. The controls was conquered from the best people imaginable – Timothy Cain and Leonard Boyarsky, without to whom, the Tomb Boy would never get happened conceived.

Obsidian dropped the isometric perspective (their latest experiments proved that the growth for games with like perspective had stopped) and moved to a 3-dimensional environment. And that wasn't the first time he'd accomplished this – Fallout: New Vegas is still widely acknowledged with the followers of the RPG genre, most of which believe that the best part of the entire series. What might spread so wrong regarding The Outer Worlds? Unfortunately, lots of things – actually within the districts to should not present a problem to equally experienced developers.

Waiter! There's Borerlands in my Fallout!

You'd think, perhaps, to my analysis of The Outer Worlds would turn largely around the game's archaic technology. That's right, and I have a lot to say about it, but I'll choose a less noticeable, and simultaneously much more valuable element of the game. I'll focus on the deciding.

Don't get me wrong – Obsidian created a unique and gaining universe. The fierce border in the space, ironically titled the Arcadia, dictated next to a unpredictable, retrofuturistic company, is surely an interesting place on an adventure. Especially because creators allowed the head go natural and hurled in the lot of crazy ideas, finishing it happy with a little absurd humor.

Unfortunately, someone decided that this frivolous planet will have a very important story, with serious ethical dilemmas. Sounds somewhat like Fallout? Sure, it was unquestionably the plan of the developers – but they've seemingly needed this much; we'd ordered black tea, then understand Regent's Punch rather. The mixture causes a serious cognitive dissonance.

The world of Results was uniquely heavy, gloomy, and no sum of black humor from the game can difference to – absolutely the opposing, actually – that generally expanded the cold fact in the post-apocalyptic USA. The general format of the mark of The Outer Worlds – the struggle for survival of a colony faced with starvation – echoes some personal themes. The problem is the game is undoubtedly overloaded with jokes, as for such an important story.

Humor almost pours through the screen. The power of the company is absurd. By every turn, we are confronted with preposterous regulations and procedures, and the pioneers, every single one, are lots of helpless administrators and complete idiots, that lay their banal issues for the protagonist. Want examples? Just take a look at the screenshots within the text. Maybe it's amusing – but then how is the person supposed to heal the gossip really? And Obsidian ultimately care for their production to get selected seriously, since this carousel of enjoyment sometimes unexpectedly freezes, and we're facing a perfectly serious choice, such as whether to lose human energy in the designation of growth.

Participating in The Outer Worlds feels like looking at The Hitchhiker's Lead for the Universe, yet with quotes from Dune, The Foundation, or Solaris popping up every couple of leaves. Or, working a gaming analogy, it is like playing Borderlands, and then unexpectedly jumping to the many intense themes of Majority Effect, or maybe possibly the horror of Deadly Place every occasionally. The disagreement is hella strong.

New Vegas 1.1

Let's observe The Outer Worlds plays. In terms of gameplay, Obsidian Entertainment's latest development bares the dagger. It's a pure-blood RPG with a gameplay model in which inspirations of Fight are revealed much more clearly than from the setting. The character progress is mysterious and development, there's great liberty with participating in the task you want, the quests remain open and imaginative, as is the history itself – those are the bases in the game, and they prepare deliver a great exchange of entertaining.

The end of these be the most impression on us in The Outer Worlds. The voyage begins the moment the idol developed by the person, a element of the thousands-strong team of the lost colonization ship Dream, is got up from hibernation by the "mad scientist," Phineas Wells. He shows a rather bleak state to the character – the Meeting, a group governing the institution, is steer the Arcadia to their decline, having broken the promising grip of mankind into the undernourished hell plagued with red tape.

The only way to salvation, explains Welles, is to develop the best concentration of Anticipation, and bring down the Congress with their help. Now, you might reflect that the structure with the history gets lately become created, with the great with negative characters introduced. But the game quickly recommend a subversive thought: why not team up with the company, and allow them the fugitive scientist? Of course, the Congress is probably also aware of how serious things try the colony, and it needs a solution to that. Also the reason not solely ignore the entire affair and try to work with your own thinking to stuff with your own pockets? Or just drown the Arcadia with body, killing anyone at your way?

The game isn't a straight sandbox, but the history of The Outer Worlds experience nearly quite bright sandbox (or rather: nonlinear) features. And even though we only have two simple endings (achieved through a progression of quests which occur essentially the same vision), the participants could accomplish much different effects depending in they way they choose to finish the objective, treat certain makeup, with manage different factions. The persons that enjoy changing the account with news may love it.

Do everything you have to do

Thus, we visit the back strongest aspect of the game, that is. the independence of solving problems. Obsidian doesn't also try to cover the foundation of the mechanics in The Outer Worlds – and especially the character development – is gained straight through Fallout's SPECIAL. On the middle are six capabilities that will govern over a dozen abilities, plus the abilities further revise the stats (they're an equivalent in the famous perks, but while there are only certain aptitudes, the organism isn't that making).

Yet, that provides player a huge liberty in answering problems during the quests. In addition to formulaic combat talents – melee weapons, fire, or blocking – you can spend statements in stopping, hacking, pressure, or sciences. And, what's much more interesting, we constantly come across the possibility of blending and applying these abilities. That's because there's almost invariably more than one way leading to any position, and earlier fighting hostile NPCs, the player's are always able to go and crack the dangerous condition with diplomacy. Do this to say that the campaign with the final boss (and the entire combat sequence preceding it) might be prevented through the use of combined logical and rhetorical abilities.

The independence to act a spirit regarding the mechanics goes hand in hand with the way conversations work. It is another aspect that will get waves of Fallout feel at home. Talks with NPCs are lushly turn out, present the participant a broad variety of possible actions. Just as you can eliminate any NPC, you can also just insult anyone you're talking to, be cruel fun of these, and appropriate their final money. In the word – acting like a complete asshole. And a new interesting fact here – having a character with really small intelligence opens a special, "children's" style in the dialogue. Not a very practical business, but this a nice addition.

The paradox in the next dimension

Up to this point, The Outer Worlds seems able to continue their ground being a very capable RPG, in which the greatest issue is the gimmicky world. Unfortunately, Obsidian do another strategic problem when designing the game – they gamble in three-dimensional graphics.

Despite numerous conflict avoidance decisions for nerds and representatives, TOW still puts a lot of emphasis on deal with. This becomes apparent just seconds after you dump the shelter with the location walls. The query of the not-so-big portions in the forests – even if done all along the chief routes – is regularly "diversified" in chance meets with units of enemies, whose sole purpose of existence is waiting for a chance to kill somebody. And that wouldn't be something in particular bad if the combat became as ordinary.

Eight days have crossed since launch of Outcome: New Vegas, and also the beat mechanics of The Outer Worlds seem like the experience was generated only a year later on. The clumsy animations, dumb AI-controlled opponents, and primitive weapon mechanics, which don't let you feel any influence with the weapon, make the entire experience largely similar to FNV, and seldom offer any satisfaction. And if you think melee weapons offer something greater, think again – it’s actually worse here. You can evaluate and choose designed for a quiet methodology with escape combat altogether (here, Obsidian tried to offer something up-to-date also begun hiding in tall grass), but it is not really cool either... Besides, sparing enemies doesn't yield XP, so there's no reward here.

Technical level – Obsidian

The retrograde technical layer is plain just from the start. Take area and shops, for instance – in many cases, these positions are filled separately, but they're not even substantial in mass. Details are remarkably base in the cities, disturbed with empty seat and miserable imitations of a living atmosphere in formula of tiny companies if motionless dummies (character activities is an additional concern – equally depressing). There's not enough background noise to supply the impact of being in the actual city. The previously mentioned wild areas and seem archaic – they're trying to discover being straight window without actually being really start.

If the above picture in the "technological wonders" presented in The Outer Worlds wasn't quality entertainment for you, let me talk about optimization for a while. Sorry – "optimization." I participated in on the decent computer with a Central i5-4570 (3.2 GHz), 16GB of THRUST, also a GeForce GTX 1060 (6GB) at very high situations in 1080p motion, plus a constant 60 frames per minute was not anything I could enjoy frequently. The framerate often dropped to about 40fps for no apparent reason. As if that remained enough – even on an SSD – I frequently felt short freezes created by pile of data, then following getting to a new, larger field, the surfaces and purposes would pop-up right or my senses for a few seconds. It was grotesque.

On the other hand – in at least 30 hours of comedy, rarely encountered any major problem. The game of course incorporates a light total of glitches (like as bodies flying about), but a serious mistake occurred just the moment: At one feature, the game concluded that one of our buddy had expired – several seconds later talking to him, during a completely safe spaceship flight. But that was possibly a difficulty of bad luck. After all, we're referring to a game by Obsidian Entertainment.

Perhaps this completely doesn't matter?

"If Fallout: New Vegas survived a sensation despite many it is technical shortcomings, why must that vary with The Outer Worlds?" There are two things in play here. First, FNV isn't remembered as an outdated glitchfest simply because it allowed us a fantastic narrative. TOW doesn't get the same worth from the story – and the idea not just about the bitter-sweet, incoherent setting.

The game certainly has it's share of interesting journey and inventive jobs, but ultimately, it might get been there a lot better. The best way to illustrate this is with the staff. That a bunch of nice personalities, whose dialogues were produced with plenty of skill as to produce them think alive. Hier finden Sie weitere Informationen One would, still, require more charm from them – particularly by their own private threads, often quite brief, seeming rather forced. Same goes for many quests, even the main ones – plenty of them feels purposeless.

Another big difficulty of The Outer Worlds is that many has gone on in the RPG genre since the announcement of Consequences: New Vegas. We've witnessed a major convergence of the Act with RPG genres; self-identifying as role-play is no longer a free for crude combat mechanics. If we think about FPP games, there's not exactly the upcoming Cyberpunk 2077, yet yet the poor Fallout 4, falling short of most real shooters, is miles ahead TOW in terms of gunplay.

All that contributes to the unhappy conclusion to Obsidian Entertainment just did not have enough money to generate The Outer Worlds the kind of game they'd meant. I believe the lion's bit on the budget went to recording dialogues (with a moderately successful answer) with the job of the designers who had to go Arcadia a unique think (that, used for a switch, gone away reasonably clearly). Aiding the Fantastic Engine was likely a dance aimed at but some money – this, theoretically, ensured nice graphics for a little price – further reduced with the deal with Epic Games Store.

However, the developers didn't have the means to enhance the mechanics, be the world a little bigger, and, above all, allow more head with explaining to the chronicle – making it longer, with more cut-scenes and poses. Do this to say that the ending from the primary plan can properly be range into moral 15 hours (side quests should produce another 15).

So, why the make? That's because The Outer Worlds should be regarded primarily as a traditional RPG – and really, if we assess that from this area, we have to admit that some really good craftsmanship. If you miss the good other evening of "rolplays," in which nameless heroes willingly hurried to help collect (or eliminate) the world for no actual purpose, and spent their own time about any trifle mission in the character of acquiring experience points along the way – The Outer Worlds can contract a grab of nostalgia from your eyes. Unfortunately, for everyone also, those will be mainly tears of trouble with grief – of the wasted potential.

[ebenpink]

Postpartum Body Image: Primal Perspective http://bit.ly/2VriNox

Today’s post was inspired by a question that came in from a reader who is struggling with depression and body image issues after having children. I asked my colleague Dr. Lindsay Taylor, being a psychologist and a mother herself, to step in.

Having witnessed all the wondrous changes that women’s bodies go through during and after pregnancy with my wife Carrie, I’d like to add my support and encouragement to my readers who struggle with these issues.

This post is for all the mamas and mamas-to-be who are struggling with the ways in which their bodies have changed, grown, stretched, and been marked by pregnancy. For you mothers who have suffered a loss, I see you, and you are included here.

It’s really a shame, but not a surprise, that so many women are plagued by negative body image around pregnancy. A strong predictor of negative body image during and after pregnancy is negative body image before pregnancy. Body image is, of course, something so many people struggle with every day, women in particular. Volumes have been written about the ways in which our cultural standards of attractiveness, media and social media, and social factors conspire to make us feel unattractive, unworthy, and dissatisfied with our bodies. That doesn’t need to be rehashed here.

Then when you’re pregnant, you and everyone around you is hyper-focused on your body. Are you gaining the “right” amount of weight? Eating the right things? Moving in the right way? Strangers are commenting on your size and shape, and probably touching you too. (PSA: Don’t do this.)

Some women love this time and revel in the changes their bodies undergo. Other women feel completely alienated from and even disgusted by their bodies. Probably many women feel different and conflicting emotions at different times. No matter what your experience has been, let me assure you that it’s normal. The whole gamut of experiences is normal and valid.

If you feel confused, conflicted, sad, disappointed, or discouraged about the ways your body has changed because of pregnancy, it’s OK. Your body is different, your relationship to it is different. There is no right or wrong here. My goal for today is to help if you do feel distressed by persistent feelings of negative body image and self-worth after pregnancy. It needs to be addressed. Poor body image correlates with symptoms of postpartum depression (it’s not clear that one necessarily causes the other, but some data suggest that poor body image predicts later depression). This can interfere with your relationships with others, including your partner and, very importantly, your baby.

Sometimes when we talk about this, the first reaction is, “Great, I already feel like &%$! about myself, and now I feel worse because my feelings are going to mess up everything.” That’s not it. Most of all, you simply deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to have peace with your body. You don’t need to waste your precious mental energy on tearing yourself down. For many women, their postpartum body image issues are extensions of lifelong feelings of insecurity. Let’s interrupt the cycle now.

Accepting Your Postpartum Body

Most people who want to change how they feel about their bodies take the approach of trying to change their bodies. This rarely works. Postpartum bodies (and bodies in general) often don’t respond how we want, and anyway many of us have constructed ideal body images in our minds that aren’t realistic.

If you want to change how you feel about your body, you should be working on how you feel about your body. There is a lot of well-meaning messaging in the meme-o-sphere about how you should love your body, but I prefer to start with appreciating your body and practicing self-compassion and self-care. If you’re ready to jump right to self-love, by all means go for it! However, this can feel daunting for some women who are stuck in a cycle of self-deprecation and even self-loathing.

The first step in all this is acceptance: accepting the fact that you probably can’t control the size and shape of your body right now, not like diet culture tells you that you can. Yes, there are some women who “bounce back” and flash their postpartum abs in magazines and on Instagram, but they aren’t the norm. Your body is in recovery. If you’re nursing, it’s focused on continuing to keep another human alive. You probably aren’t sleeping, and you might be finding the transition more stressful than you anticipated. Even months or longer down the road, these can still apply. This is hardly the ideal scenario for controlled weight loss.

Moreover, the truth is that your body probably won’t look the same ever again. Even if you go back to wearing your pre-pregnancy clothes, your shape will likely be different. You’ll probably be sporting some new stretch marks. The idea that you can and should “get your body back” is unrealistic and unfair for most women. (Health is something different here.) Your body has done something new and fabulous. It’s not the same body it was.

It’s O.K. to feel sad about that at first. It’s O.K. to mourn the loss of your pre-baby body even while you also appreciate and respect the hell out of your body for growing another human. Denying those feelings or, worse, feeling guilty for them and spiraling into self-criticism and shame doesn’t help. Be open and honest with yourself, and talk to other people who will listen non-judgmentally.

I can’t stress enough that you should ask for help if you need it. If your partner or your friends can’t give you the support you need, or you just feel like you need an impartial ear, find a therapist who specializes in body acceptance and postpartum issues (including depression, even if you don’t think you are depressed, since they are so often linked).

I hear some of you saying, “There is just no way I could ever get to a place where I accept, let alone like, this body.” If you’re feeling too mired down in self-negativity to believe that this is for you, consider this: Self-acceptance allows you to care for yourself and the other people in your life. Imagine if you could model a healthy, happy self-image for your baby as he or she grows. Which of your friends would benefit from someone who speaks in body-positive language and who models self-compassion? How would your partner respond if you could believe that you are sexy and deserving of physical affection?

You don’t owe it to other people to work on yourself if you’re not ready, but sometimes a little outside motivation is what gets the gears turning when the inner motivation is hidden under layers of fear, shame, or self-doubt.

Steps You Can Take

Have I mentioned that I strongly advise anyone who is struggling with mental health and well-being to seek professional help? Good, and I’m saying it again for the record. Therapy rocks.

Self-appreciation, self-compassion, and self-care are things we all deserve and we can actively cultivate. I recommend checking out the book Self-compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff, Ph.D., as a starting point.

Quit Negative Self-talk: As I’m sure you know, we are usually our own worst critics. We say hateful, belittling things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else. If you want to deal with negative body image, this has to stop.

When you find your inner voice saying something self-critical, interrupt it and replace the disparaging comment with one that expresses kindness and compassion. Mantras and affirmations can be helpful here. (If you think they’re cheesy, humor me and give it a try.) The trick is to find one that feels authentic to you. One that I like, which I found here, is: I will accept that my body may never be exactly the same as it was before I had the baby, just as my heart will never be the same. Some others you might try are: I deserve to treat myself with kindness and respect, I am learning to be gentle with myself, or My body is beautiful and deserves all the love I can give it. It’s O.K. if you don’t quite believe it yet; still say it whenever a negative thought intrudes.

You can also actively redirect your attention from how your body looks to how it feels. Maybe you actually enjoy the feeling of softness is new places. Maybe pregnancy and childbirth made you feel powerful. When a negative thought appears, crowd it out with Hell yes, this body is strong and capable and awesome.

Again, if this feels forced at the beginning, that’s all right! Body positivity and self-acceptance take work. Many things feel awkward when they’re new, but over time they become second nature.

Negative Body Talk with Others: As a veteran member of multiple moms’ groups, I know that when a group of moms gets together, more often than not we end up kvetching about our bodies. I think social support from other moms is hugely important, but if I could go back in time to when my kids were babies, I’d really try to shut down the self-deprecating body talk.

If you have friends who do this, speak up! Honestly, this is a gift to the other women as well. Complaining about our mom bods is such a common form of bonding, sometimes we need permission to break the cycle. Try, “I’ve noticed we spend a lot of time criticizing ourselves, but I think we are all strong and beautiful rockstar moms. I’ve started a personal project to try to stop negative self-talk and replace it with compliments. What if we tried that here?”

And by all means, if there are other people in your life—family, your partner, co-workers—who try to engage you in body or diet/exercise talk that perpetuates your bad feelings, shut it down. Boundaries are fantastic; draw them often.  

Of course, I’m not suggesting you suppress your emotions. Find a friend or counselor you can talk to about your feelings, one who won’t respond with, “Ugh, I know! My belly button looks like a Shar Pei too, I hate it. That’s why I started this new diet, have you heard of it?” Processing and dealing with your feelings is one thing. Using language that keeps you stuck in a cycle of body hatred is something else altogether. You can tell the difference.

Curate Your Social Media: Think about the images you see on your social media. Are they mostly #fitspo accounts that depict a narrow range of what it means to be “healthy” and “fit?” If so, consider seeking out the many people who are spreading the word that bodies of different sizes and shapes can be strong, healthy, and attractive. Find other women who are at your stage of motherhood and who are also promoting positive self-image.

Move Your Body: Your body is so much more than what it looks like! Move for the joy of movement and to connect with your body on a physical level. Exercise to feel strong and powerful, not to try to force your body to “lose the baby weight.” Movement should be self-care, not punishment.

Wear Clothes That Fit: Dress up your body in clothes that fit rather than hiding in too-big clothes or squeezing into uncomfortably small clothes.

Step Off the Scale: I know this is a hard one for a lot of people, but if your daily mood depends on the number on the scale each morning, this is bad for your well-being. You don’t need to be aware of the daily fluctuations in order to take care of yourself.

Other Forms of Self-care: The sky’s the limit here! Let someone watch the baby while you take a nap or go for a coffee date with your partner. Get a pedicure. Ignore the laundry and watch a TV show. Taking care of your emotional well-being and feeling more positive overall can help you avoid the negative self-talk trap.

How You Can Help Support a Mom

If there’s a mom in your life whom you want to support, a good way to start is by not commenting on her body, period. (This is a good policy in general.) “You’ve lost weight!” is generally considered a compliment, but sometimes people lose weight because they’re ill or depressed. Plus, it draws attention to her body and reinforces the notion that she must be hoping and trying to lose weight. Better ways to engage her in conversation: Ask how she is feeling, and express excitement about the baby. Ask her if there is anything she needs. Offer to bring her coffee or a meal, go for a walk together, or watch the baby so she can shower or run to the store.

Resources for Finding Help and Support

If you feel like you could use help or support in this area, please don’t be afraid to ask. Below are some resources that cater to postpartum women specifically. There are also some great individuals and organizations that promote body positivity and self-care more generally.

Postpartum Health Alliance

Postpartum Support International

Pacific Postpartum Society

After the Baby is Born: A Postpartum Series — A collection of photos and commentary from new moms as part of The Honest Body Project.

“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now… with its aches and it pleasures… is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.” – Pema Chödrön

“Treat yourself as if you already are enough. Walk as if you are enough. Eat as if you are enough. See, look, listen as if you are enough. Because it’s true.” – Geneen Roth

Thanks for stopping in today, everybody. Comments, questions, experiences to share? Include them on the comment board below, and have a great end to the week. Take care.

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