#if anyone knows how to fix this PLEASE tell us cause this is like actually upsetting

[banesberry-anomoly]

Transferred all my images on our phone to an SD card and now all the metadata for the dates attached to everything is fucked up and I cant fucking figure out how to either reverse it or find the original creation dates of the files to resort and its pissing me the fuck off cause I kept track of certain things esp attached to some of the art and I dont wanna have to backtrack and search my blog of like 8 diff places on disc to find the original fucking date I made/downloaded/whatever the images

Gonna fucking break something I SWEAR TO GODS why the fuck did it even do this

[monicahar]

“my wife.”

how they address you. why does it make your heart skip a beat each time?

characters; neuvillette, wriothesley

—female pronouns obvi, aaaa this is so random😭 fluff, tad bit of crack, has suggestive themes/dirty jokes cause that's my humor in general, just tryna get into writing again heehaa don't mind me ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

NEUVILETTE always accompanies the term with unmatched affection. it rolls off his tongue perfectly like a match made in heaven, coupled with the serene image of you instantaneously appearing in his mind before he even thinks of the uttering the endearing term. he still finds it surreal that you are both even lawfully married, yet the way he calls you his wife is already on instinct. is it too presumptuous of him?

well, in the end, he can't find any means to worry about it when you seem to equally adore the nickname.

“ooohh, say it again, say it again!”

he can't tell whether he married a child or not, but he still obliges your request and calls you his wife affectionately once more.

meanwhile, furina nearly gags everytime she hears him say it so softly—like using any other tone when referring to you would land him in the hands of the fortress of meropide. sure—she might've been the one who set up both of you—but the drama and thrill akin to watching a romance film has delightfully ended, and she can only meddle so much in marital matters. the iudex just might actually have her head in a platter if she were to do anything mischievous at that point.

but while a happy neuvillette is running around announcing 'my wife' this and 'my wife' that, you are currently stuck on what to call him in return, sadly enough.

“at this point, i think i'm just going to call you daddy.”

it was unfortunate with the way he choked on some of the water he was drinking—well, thank goodness he didn't spill much as before. for this wasn't the first time you said something unprompted while he was in peace with his water—he can only internally sigh.

“and what exactly has influenced you to arrive at such a conclusion, my wife?” he does not miss the tiny shudder of your body that followed the endearment. your face burns a tad bit at that, and he softly chuckles.

“your effect on me is no joke, you know?” you pout at his amused smile, “the way you refer to me so sweetly makes me want to call you my dearest husband everytime.”

“i don't recall voicing any complaints. is something else holding you back from doing so?”

you nod solemnly in agreement at that, which prompts him to raise a brow in mild curiousity.

“thing is, i really like calling you by your first name. same with monsieur neuvilette. there's something mildly erotic within it—you get what i mean, hehehe...” he only stares at you, clearly unimpressed, and a bit concerned at the implication. you clear your throat, apologizing under your breath.

“still—it's such a devastating predicament to be unable to choose between the three.” you sigh defeatedly, moving to slump your entire weight on his lap. you mutter, “my dearest husband monsieur neuvillette...mmm, no, that's too long.”

chuckling at your dramatic antics, he plants a soothing hand on your waist, the other fixing your wrinkled clothing as you practically melt against his hold. “and you thought settling on daddy was the appropriate option?”

“i'm not hearing any objections.” you jest, feeling cheeky.

“please refrain from calling me such a thing in the eyes of the public atleast.”

“...huh? you're actually allowing it??”

WRIOTHESLEY on the other hand, says it as if he's flaunting. it leaves his lips like a taunt each time, indirectly telling the other party 'i have a hot wife and you dont' even though most of the time the people he mentions you to don't even know what you actually look like. it's silly, childish even, but you still love it nonetheless.

sigewinne and the other inmates have collectively told you that ever since you got married, he has never uttered your actual name to anyone else. some find it weird, some find it somehow disrespectful, and some are now convinced he's crazily obsessed with you, and now he's showing it off every chance he gets, much to everyone's dismay.

it's arrived to the point where a small percentage of people have actually forgotten about your name, and now refer to you as the duke's wife, or even duchess, to which you made a face at. that's kind of pushing it by then.

anywho, in the end, it's funny and endearing, maybe even makes you a bit giddy, but there is no way you're telling him that. the situation might escalate even more if possible.

“you know, my wife is very mean to me today.”

as a pair of strong yet gentle arms wrap around your waist, you resist the growing smile on your face, deciding to mess with your husband for a bit.

“is that so?” you continue your chores without a care in the world. he huffs.

“mhm. she won't look me in the eye the whole day, even though she seemed sooo happy last night.” face instantly burning, you hiss as you slap his arm in a fit of embarrassment, pulling a hearty chuckle from the man behind you.

“—and now she's hitting me as well. i can't believe this.” you both know very well he was not fazed in the slightest bit.

“if her husband wasn't such a pervert then maybe—”

his facade cracks as he forces out an awkward laugh, “hey now, baby, you know i'm nothing like that.”

“wriothesley.”

he clears his throat awkwardly, “okay, maybe a little. it's exclusive for you though! my wife doesn't have to be so mean about it, you're making me reallyyy sad here, y'know?”

there it is again, you think. that nickname. that damned word that makes you want to turn around and smash your lips against his and—wait, hold yourself together! don't forget the reason you're being cold to him!

“you deserve to feel remorse. i've been struggling to even move the whole day because of you.”

you go rigid.

you didn't mean for that to come out so bitter...oh no.

“oh. so that's what this is about.” you don't even have to turn around to know that there's a smug look on his stupidly handsome face, his grip on your waist turning into soothing circles as he presses a kiss to your neck.

“if my wife wanted a massage, she could've just said so.” it's husky when it leaves his mouth, leaving you to shiver with the chills he enunciates.

flustered, you completely disregard the way your knees buckle at the endearment laced with that low voice of his, hitting his arm once more, earning a tiny 'ouch' from him.

“pervert. i want rest, not another round!”

“heh, i didn't say anything about another round, my perverted wife.”

“you—” you are abrupt cut off as you yelp in surprise when your feet are raised off the ground, your face now much closer to your husband's as he carries you gently in his arms.

“shhh, just let me take you to bed. if my wife was feeling terrible the whole day, she should've just told me in the first place so she could stay in, don't you think?”

he's right, but you're still angry. “shut up.”

“just letting you know i'm not completely at fault, wife.” you attempt to ignore the furious beating of your heart, face burning at his smug expression. “i'm not the only one who wanted it.”

hsr version...? if i feel like it...🤔🤔

[adascore]

Captain Obvious

pairings: lionesses x lioness!reader

warnings: sarina scaring the hell out of us. fluff.

author’s note: I know this isn’t how captaincy is announced, but all of this is fictional anyway so it doesn’t even matter :)

masterlist

•••••

''Is everyone in?'' Sarina asked, scanning the room to ensure the complete attendance of the squad and necessary staff.

A few heads nodded at the manager. ''Good.'' The Dutchwoman concluded.

''Before we talk about the upcoming game against North Macedonia, I would like to say something else.'' Sarina began the team meeting, her gaze lingering on Y/N.

The player curiously turned her head to Mary, who was sitting next to her. The goalkeeper merely shrugged in response.

''I didn't want to do it like this, but I think this is the only way to get my message across… Y/N, can you please come stand next to me?'' Sarina's invitation sounded more like a demand, leaving the striker slightly confused at the stern tone.

Y/N hesitated for a moment but stood up, making her way to the front of the room as requested by Sarina.

Glancing at her teammates, she found it challenging to read their expressions. Some were nervously biting their nails, while others were avoiding eye contact altogether.

Strange, the striker thought.

Sarina maintained her serious tone, making Y/N's heart race with anticipation. ''We have noticed some issues lately…'' The room fell silent, everyone's eyes fixed on the player, who was growing more bewildered and scared by the second. She tried to recall any recent incidents that might have triggered this discussion.

''The communication on the pitch, the communication off the pitch, the passes, the attacks… it is all anyone has been talking about on this team.'' The coach's vague explanation was making her worried, because it implied people had been speaking about her to Sarina.

''It forced us to reassess your position in this team.'' The Dutchwoman continued, maintaining her stoic stone.

It was a difficult task to make the Lyon captain nervous, but Sarina was doing an amazing job so far. ''My… position… on the team?'' Y/N spoke slowly, not quite knowing what to make of all of this.

''Yes, we're sorry to tell you this,'' she turned towards Arjan, their assistant coach, who handed her something the player wasn't able to see, ''but you are our new, official captain.'' Sarina's expression did a complete 180, a big grin on her face.

The room erupted into cheers, her teammates bursting out laughing at the player staring at their coach in stunned disbelief.

''Wait, what?'' Y/N mumbled as Sarina handed her the captain's band.

''Did you really think I was going to kick you off the team?'' The older woman exclaimed, surprised her player actually fell for it.

Y/N awkwardly chuckled. ''I mean- you sounded super serious! You should become an actress or something.''

''Congratulations, captain!'' Her team engulfed her in a group hug, feeling pats all over her head.

''I was wondering why none of you were looking at me.'' The newly appointed captain said, everything making sense now.

''I was having such a hard time,'' Ella sighed, before glancing over at Mary, ''you were awful!''

''What? Tooney!'' The goalkeeper exclaimed, clearly offended.

Alessia chimed in. ''You kept hiding your face cause you couldn't contain your smile.''

''I'm just happy for my friend!'' Mary defended herself, trapping Y/N in her arms.

Some of the girls made ‘Awh'-noises, dramatically swooning over the striker-goalkeeper duo.

''Took you long enough to figure it out.'' Mary teased, a mischievous grin playing on her lips.

Y/N scoffed, slightly offended. ''How was I supposed to know?''

''I'm roomies with the captain.'' Alex proudly stated, her eyes sparkled with pride as she side hugged her roommate.

''That's not fair! Alex already has an advantage over everyone!'' Georgia interjected, loudly.

Y/N frowned. ''I've been captain for like 2 seconds, what are you talking about, G?'' She chuckled, befuddled by everyone's enthusiasm.

''You'll understand what I mean when she's suddenly being a lot nicer to you.'' Georgia explained, making wary eyes at the blond defender.

Lucy approached her and grabbed the captain's band from her hand. ''Come on, put it on.'' She held it open for her so Y/N could easily slide her arm through.

As soon as it was tightly attached to her arm, the entire room broke into cheers again.

''You wear it well, Skipper.'' Lucy teased with a playful grin.

She felt someone hugging her from behind. ''Congratulations, darling.''

''Thanks, Jill.'' The new captain smiled, glad her older teammate was happy for her.

Girls like Jill, Ellen, Alex, Lucy and Jordan had been there since she first joined the England team- it was a special moment for them as well to see their younger teammate take over the reins of the team.

''Congrats, sweetheart. You deserve this so much.'' Ellen embraced her, her fellow striker grinning from ear to ear.

''Thanks, El.''

''Speech! Speech! Speech!'' A couple of the girls (Ella, Georgia, Keira and Leah, to be specific) started chanting.

Y/N chuckled at the impromptu request for a speech, feeling the weight of the moment. She raised her hands, signaling for a moment of quiet amidst the cheers.

''Okay, okay!'' She began, a genuine smile on her lips. ''First of all, I want to thank Sarina, and whoever decided this, for giving me this huge honour, and for trusting me to lead this incredible team. I know to some people it's just a band, but I do feel a responsibility to lead by example and for me this means so much more.''

She paused, letting her words sink in. ''I joined this team when I was 18 years-old, and I've experienced so much already. I just want to thank all of you, and also the teammates that aren't here today, for making this such a beautiful group of people and for making this genuinely fun to do. I'm lucky to have you guys as my teammates.''

Her gaze swept across the faces of her teammates, feeling herself getting emotional. ''I will continue to do my best. This isn't just about me, it's about all of us. We're here to support one another and to enjoy all of this together.''

''I'm looking forward to the rest of the year, and it might be to early to say this, but fuck it,'' she chuckled, resulting in laughter from the entire room, ''this summer is ours!''

The meeting room echoed with applause, and somehow she ended up in the middle of a group hug.

Sarina and Arjan watched on as their team celebrated together, content smiled on their faces.

''This is the team.'' He told his boss, a confident tone.

The Dutchwoman nodded. ''This is the team.''

[biancadoes1]

Hi. IMO I agree with long theory, anon.

I have never said this specific theory out loud in fear I was projecting my own relationship past into that narrative. However, I have experience in this specific dynamic & thought I could share some examples of why it isn't even close to delulu. If anyone is interested.

I had my best friend fall for me while he was with another woman. It happened accidentally, over time, by us becoming close & working together for 6 years. I denied it all for a long time until someone close to us both called HIM out, point blank. In real life, uncoupling without causing damage to everyone involved is extremely difficult. Maybe N didn't want to be a rebound, but also, maybe L didn't want anyone to think bad about both of them for "breaking up a relationship." Outside influences/opinions can be detrimental to a new relationship, especially when work is involved.

The idea of A, J, or even E being a decoy is extremely plausible (we had a plan to use one, too). Was it screwed up? Absolutely, but... sometimes, to be together, it has to wait to be shown to the outside world & we WEREN'T EVEN FAMOUS. So what did we do? We continued how we always did with friends & we eventually snuck around (once he broke up) to get alone time. As millennials, I wore a chain with his initial, we posted ambiguous songs, lyrics, thirst traps for each other & OMG SOMETIMES WE DIDNT LIKE each other's posts!! 🙄 Business as usual. In the year we worked together after, only ONE person noticed ONE time we flirted more than usual. Otherwise, NO ONE knew. However, if we went on that WT, I can GUARANTEE we would have been just as unhinged. This is where IMO, the body language expert (for those who watched), didn't have a full scope of their entire dynamic.

I will say, the family of it all does make it tricky & I can't speculate on theirs, but to show dynamic for understanding... Mine knew.. my sister had actually mentioned his googly eyes 2 wks before our mutual friend, but she didn't approve. My mom knew & approved. His real mom knew & was semi supportive, but his dad didn't know & wanted him to fix his relationship, which was rough. Taking family into consideration is extremely tricky, especially if there is concern on any side.

The SM postings between them all are also very telling to me, lol.. drama. Love it! & to pretend it doesn't exist is dumb. I won't go into my personal feelings on it all, but it's TELLING. Specifically, the Italy pap pics.

The truth of it all is... REAL relationships are messy AF. The jackolas are too immature to fathom a non fairytale scenario. This is why they make JD out to be so many things he is not & project their rejection onto L. Their lack of life experience is causing them to try & manipulate the narrative like the children they are. I hope they all get some life experience real soon because it's all creepy to watch. I also hope that one day, they grow enough to experience the love & admiration of a gay bestie.

Anywho, I hope yall see these theories are all very plausible for real life. Stop saying it's too delulu, please. It's not.

Thank you, long theory anon for saying all the things I wish I could. Youse the real GOAT & MVP.

No notes.

[cheri-2047]

I have a request for, Zhongli Neuvillette and Ayato so they are forced to marry a reader, who looks a mess like their appearance and they aren't really into them. I hope I explained it properly it's hard for me at times and I got the idea when I saw some mobile game ad.

i think I know this ad LMAO, sure !! I’ll make it headcanons though cause those have been easier for me to write lately. thank you for the request!

Arranged Marriage (Zhongli , Neuvillette, Ayato)

SCENARIO: Your parents somehow got to get you an arranged marriage with these men. You grew up in a rich family, but due to a bad decision, your father’s company ended up going bankrupt. Suddenly, your mom just told you to get into the car and drove off, not knowing where you were going.

MENTIONS OF: Furina, Thoma, Ayaka

NEUVILLETTE:

When you enter the court (please tell me where he works guys in the comments, I forgot what it’s called), that’s when you realized.

“shit.”

This is the first time you’ve actually SEEN him. You felt embarrassed because your mother didn’t even let you change out of a decent pair of clothing or even fix your hair.

you quickly tried to change your appearance as much as you could. But when the Melisune opened the door, that’s when you panicked.

Neuvillette was…shocked. He was shocked to see you in a state but he didn’t show it. “Ah..I suppose you’re y/n?”

“yes… I apologize for my appearance, My mother pulled me out of my room and just forced me to leave without a word haha…” you were nervous as hell.

”I see. Nice to meet you.” He stands up and walks over to you, shaking your hand.

”I’d like to go over the terms of our marriage, nothing official just what we both are comfortable with.” Even with your messy appearance, he still treated you with grace and kindness

he asked the melusine to give you some tea, and now you Two were left alone.

”Well…I understand if you don’t want to do this at all, so during our relationship, I will not require you to be affectionate towards me.”

He sat in a chair nearby and he held your hand. “If there’s anything I am doing, or will do that makes you uncomfortable, please do not hesitate to tell me.”

“If you need anything, just say the word and I’ll have to for you.”

“if you would have…other affairs, since were not actually in love…I’m okay with it. Just be careful to not show it in public.” He understands that this is a forced marriage for you, so he tries to still let you have a normal life.

“ah no it’s okay, I’m not interested in anyone at the moment, but I…I would like to try to get this- us to work.” You smiled, and Neuvillette was touched by that.

During your marriage, you lived with him. He wasn’t extremely close to you but you could tell he was trying. On the first night you two slept beside each other but on the next one if you were uncomfy, he arranged another room for you in his mansion.

He lets you do anything really, if you want to work go ahead but if you just want to stay home that’s okay too.

Overall, he grew to like you. And the marriage was like a real thing.

Since he wouldn’t be home often, he apologizes by sending you gifts. When he notices you’re lonely, furina actually lets him have a day off.

as for affection, at most he would kiss you on the forehead or cuddle you close. He won’t force you to kiss him on the lips (since he doesn’t want to intrude on anything) so you’d have to initiate those <3

AYATO:

When you saw your car drop in front of the kamisato, that’s when you realized.

You tried to fix your appearance, tying your hair up with a desperate attempt to look more elegant.

thoma welcomed you, not gonna lie he noticed how you shuffled your clothes a lot and before taking you to ayato, he let you in a separate room.

”I don’t mean to be rude, but I noticed the way you shuffled with your clothes” he chuckled, handing you an old dress that ayaka owned, (since it didn’t fit her)

he let you changed and once you did, he brought you to ayato.

Ayato welcomed you and thoma left the room. He motioned for you to sit in front of him.

”nice to meet you” he smiled and bowed (iirc in japan they bow as a sign of respect/greeting? Please correct me if I’m wrong!)

you did the same. It was awkward for awhile until he spoke.

”I am sure you’re aware of what’s about to happen correct?” You nod. “I want to try to make this work” he said, looking straight at you.

”if… if we don’t work out that’s alright, but I’d like to know you more.” He smiled as you nodded.

”me too, I’m glad we’re on the same page” you smiled.

you two talked about your own interests, but now you had a problem.

its not that he hated you or judged you, but there are times it’s dead silent. for now he passes it off since you both are new to each other.

”well, I will have thoma show you your room and ah- no more need for formalities it’s okay”

After the marriage you move in together and though it’s still awkward, you two actually end up becoming close.

At some point, during the night when he’s working late, he actually started seeking comfort from you.

sometimes he would visit your room, if you were asleep he would sit beside you on the bed and tuck you in nicely after

or if you’re awake, you (aside from ayaka sometimes) are one of the only few who actually gets him to go to bed.

you sleep in separate rooms but one day he offers for you to sleep with him.

overall, this marriage was a success. Sometimes he’s busy but you take note of it and if he notices you’re lonely, he would invite you over to his room while he works/signs papers and he talks to you.

as for affection, he appreciates if you give him hugs but there are times (mostly when you’re away for a long period of time) when he tilts your chin up and goes “may I?” Before pressing a kiss to your lips

Sorry if I mischaracterized this, I haven’t done the inazuma quest and idk much about him !

ZHONGLI:

to your surprise, when you almost stopped in a mansion, you saw him standing outside waiting for you.

and that’s when you started to realize.

the moment you got out of the car, you fixed your dress. He was quite welcoming actually.

he welcomed you to his home and set you on the couch. He actually didn’t mind much your appearance.

he sat in front of you and smiled. “Nice to meet you” he handed you a cup of tea before you two got started.

he saw you uncomfortable shuffling around your clothes. “Are you alright? Is something wrong?”

”no no! Just fixing myself a bit, sorry” he wondered why you seemed so tense about your appearance.

”I do not care about such matters if that’s what you’re thinking” he reassured you.

”now..as for this marriage, I do not want you to feel forced. I will allow anything you’d like, if you’d have other affairs, I am okay with that.” He really just wants you to be comfy is all, especially since this was forced.

”however… I would like to get to know you more” and just like that a few months after the marriage, you two actually clicked.

often at night he’d sleep beside you, in the mornings he makes you both tea.

He’d be very respectful with boundaries and he appreciates when you respect his as well.

for dates he loves bringing you to gardens for a picnic or relaxing lakes, somewhere with nature. he hugs you a lot and kisses on your forehead. If you want a kiss on his lips, he will gladly say yes anytime of the day

A/N: OKAY. I loved writing this, I enjoyed Neuvillette and Ayato’s part, I kinda lost ideas for zhongli but THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT. Anyways thank you for requesting, I only have… 2-3 requests left until I can open them again ! I love how thoma would also be a gentleman to you idk I think he’s pretty cool this wasn’t proofread and comments are appreciated !! (Drop by for a tip, or if I mischaracyerized them or just say hi!)

[cheeeeseburger]

Do you dream of me? (cause you're a dream to me)

Fernando Alonso x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: They could never make me hate you, fake dating trope. English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes!

As soon as Fernando opened the car door for you and you stepped out, all dolled up, cameras flashed everywhere. This was a part of being Fernando’s girlfriend that you were still getting used to. Actually, you weren’t used to any things related to dating him, since in reality, you were not really together.

Fernando had asked you to be his fake girlfriend two months ago. Initially, you just laughed at him, but he was not kidding at all. He wanted to work on his PR, and a good romance story always does the trick, right?

“Please, just think about it. I’m not crazy! It would only be for show. It would be fake dating.” You were impressed at his romcom knowledge. He definitely knew the literature, to use words like fake dating. Still, that was not enough to convince you.

The thing is, Fernando was your boss. You had been his assistant for over two years now, and he knew you were single and available. Saying no to his proposal would put you in a difficult situation. It’s not like the whole fake dating thing would only benefit him, though. The more you thought about it, the more you wanted to accept.

“You would only have to come to a few events with me, which you already come to as my assistant! You would just have to pretend we’re together. Of course, you would receive compensation for your services.” Fernando said. He did not get why you suddenly gasped.

“I was about to say yes, but I’m not a hooker or an escort, Fernando! How dare you suggest these things to me?” Frankly, you were insulted. He answered immediately, panicked: “No, that’s not what I meant, of course not! I just meant that since you’re going to, um, work extra, I will pay you more, that’s all. You’re too much of a good girl for all of that, anyway.”

Goddamn. You blushed intensely. You would definitely be a good girl for him, if you were actually dating. Oops.

“Wait, didn’t you say you were going to say yes?” Damn him for actually listening to you.

You blushed a little: “I mean, it’s just that I have, let’s say, a situation, that could be fixed if we publicly dated…” You looked away, embarrassed.

“What is it, muñeca?” He genuinely looked concerned for you. He really was a caring boss, huh?

“It’s just that, um, there’s this guy…” You did not want to continue the rest of the sentence. You were the colour of a ripe tomato.

“And you want to make him jealous?” He raised an eyebrow. Oh wow. Has he watched Anyone But You on a flight recently or something?

“Oh God no, absolutely not! It’s the opposite, really. I went on one date with him, and he can’t get a hint. He always comes tries to talk to me, even though I told him multiple times that I was no longer interested. He’s an engineer at Ferrari, so he’s always around. It’s getting scary.” Telling your boss your horror dating stories was really, really embarrassing.

“What? That’s not okay!” He looked pissed. “Muñeca, this is not right. You should have told me. I could have fixed the issue. I would have helped you.”

You flushed. It was cute to see your boss so worried about you. “Anyway, that’s why I’m tempted to say yes to be your fake girlfriend. Maybe that other guy will back off.”

“I didn’t know you went on dates. You’re always busy helping me.” He crossed his arms on his chest.

“Well, he’s always around since he works in F1. He just asked me out and I said yes.” You were avoiding his gaze, afraid of being in trouble for some reason.

“Why didn’t it work out?” Ok, now you were definitely looking everywhere but at him. The real reason was too humiliating too say out loud. Why did he care anyway?

“It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” He noticed you were mortified but did not pick up on it. You sighed: “I think we should do it. But I’m still going to have my job after, right?”

“Of course, muñeca. You’re too essential in my life for me to let you go.” Apparently, he was not above flattery to convince you. Apparently, flattery was a great way to bribe you.

“It’s a deal, then.” You shook Fernando’s hand. You immediately shivered at his touch.

“You’re mi amorcito now.”

Oh God. What did you get yourself into?

Anyway, you felt Fernando’s hand on your back, softly guiding you towards the entrance of the party at a high-end hotel. As usual when there were cameras around, you put on a show. Your performance was Oscar worthy. He spun you around so people could admire your look. You blew him a kiss. You leaned on him while he put an arm around you. He kissed the top of your head, and you whispered in his ear.

“I think we’ve really fooled them.”

“It’s good, but it’s only the beginning. I’m not done with you, muñeca.”

To anybody on the outside, you two looked like the hot, exciting, and loving couple of the moment. Sometimes, it looked that way to you too. It was hard to remember that this was not real when he kissed you, or when you were in his arms, or just when you were with him in general. Playing pretend with him was so easy. It was fun, even. You were getting showered in gifts and kisses by your boss, who just happens to be a man you find really attractive. You could have done worst for a side hustle, right?

The media was having a field day with your relationship. Some thought the age gap was a bit weird, but most people just thought that it was cute that Alonso fell in love with his assistant. You had even seen a TikTok edit of you two. You looked hot in it, so that was nice. You were the it WAG of the moment.

The other drivers were also freaking out that Alonso, a long-time bachelor, had finally met his match. You had to act extra lovingly in front of them, just to prove to them that he had finally settled. Also, Fernando just liked to show off a pretty young thing like you in his arms, because the rest of the grid was definitely jealous.

You made you way inside, making sure to always close the gap between you and Fernando. You were constantly flushed, because him touching you did wonders for your nerves. Small talk was hard, but it was even more difficult to do with his arm around your waist. You pulled on his arm.

“Fernando, baby, I need a drink.” The word baby slipped off a little too casually for your liking. He seemed to like it though, because you felt his possessive grip at the nickname. He smiled, pleased.

“Alright, amorcito. What do you want?” He led you to the bar, the crowd letting him pass easily. This was another advantage of dating an F1 driver. Also, he always paid for all your drinks, which is an added bonus, right? You needed a drink to survive the night anyway.

“I want to get drunk. Not passed out drunk, but drunk enough that there is a risk that I will get up to dance on a table.” He laughed at that, and you smiled him. The urge to kiss him was strong. Technically, you could do it, since you were in a public place with people watching your every movement. So far, you had always let him kiss you first, because you were simply too shy. Anytime you felt his lips on yours, forgetting that this was not real was way too easy.

“I would want to see that, muñeca.” The music was loud, and he spoke in your ear. You shivered. Oh yes, more than one drink would be needed. “I’ll have a whiskey sour, and a cosmo for the lady,” Fernando said at the bartender. It was cute that he remembered your drink of choice. But you needed more than a Cosmo to ease your nerves right now. Forget about being classy.

“I’ll have three tequila shots as well, please.” You nearly had to shout for the bartender to hear you. Fernando looked surprised.

“You were not kidding, huh?”

“I won’t embarrass you by being too drunk, I swear. But it’s just that there are so many people here, and I’m kind of nervous.” He put your hand in his and started to draw circles on it with his thumb.

“It’s okay, mi armorcito. These people are not important. The only thing that matters is you and me. I want you to have a good time, muñeca.” You softened at his words. Even though you had not gotten you shots yet, you managed to have enough courage to finally kiss him. He was surprised at first, but he quickly recovered and pulled you closer to him. You pulled away, blushing, but only because the bartender put your drinks in front of you. He smiled at you and his gaze lingered on your mouth.

You drank your shots back-to-back without even making a face. “That’s a good girl,” said Fernando, sipping his whiskey. He knew what he was doing. The alcohol hadn’t even kicked in yet, but you were feeling bolder already.

“Are you into good girls, boss?” You drank innocently from your Cosmo, batting your eyelashes. It was his turn to get flushed. Maybe he had a thing for authority?

“When they look like you, sure. And you’re always so good to me, taking care of my every need. Well, almost.” He winked at you. Surely, the few sips of his drink were not enough to get him to say things like that purely because of the alcohol. Was this really coming from him? It was a delicious thought, almost as delicious as your Cosmo.

“I know this is fake, but baby, if it wasn’t, I would fulfill your every needs. And I mean, all your needs, boss.” You put your hand on his arm to really send the message. The tequila had finally hit your system. His desire for you was obvious in his eyes.

“Amorcito, you would be my favourite assistant of all time, for sure. I would never let you go.” He pulled you close to him, with his hands around your waist. He was looking at you so intensely that it almost felt like love.

You let yourself daydream. “Nobody could say a thing, because pleasing your boss is the goal of being an assistant, right?”

“Exactly, muñeca. But since they don’t know that this is fake, they couldn’t say anything if, let say, they caught us?” He smirked at you, softly brushing the loose stands of hair away from your face

Oh, you knew were this was getting, but the alcohol in your blood and his handsome face were telling you to go along.

“Absolutely, baby. I bet you’d like it, too.” You finished your drink and ordered another shot.

“What, if we were caught?” He nearly choked out his whiskey sour.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t you like it if someone was to walk in on you having me on your desk? If people heard me screaming your name?” The look on his face was priceless. Toying with him was fun. 

He leaned to whisper in your ear: “Don’t give me ideas, amorcito.” He lingered there for a moment, breathing against your neck. You were breathing rapidly. If you only tilted your head a bit, your lips would be near his. It was tempting, so you did it. As he went in for the kiss, you suddenly pulled away, then downed your last shot. You were not done playing with him.

“I want to dance. Come on!” You pulled on his arm, and Fernando had no choice but to follow you on the dance floor.

。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜

He was a surprisingly a good dancer. It must be the Spanish in him. He made you feel hot all over. You left the dancefloor feeling very turned on and with a few new hickeys on your neck as a bonus. This happened all the time in fake dating movies, right? You had not broken any rule.

Fernand pulled you to the bar to get something to drink. Things were not PG anymore. His hand was on your ass to guide you instead of on your waist like it was earlier.

“Do you want another Cosmo, muñeca?” You shook your head.

“No baby, I want to get a special treat. Can I please have a sex on the beach?”

He raised an eyebrow at your request, but he still passed it along to the bartender with another whiskey for him. He was not nearly as drunk as you were, so he had no excuse regarding crossing the line between what is real and what is fake.

“You know, amorcito, I could give you the real thing,” he said to you as he passed you your drink.

“What, sex on the beach? I already did that,” you answered, laughing. He looked positively shocked.

“An innocent girl like you? I don’t believe it.” He also didn’t want it to be true.

You smirked. “You remember that the reason I accepted to date you was to get rid of a guy that was like, obsessed with me?” He nodded, wanting to hear where this was going.

“Well, the reason why he can’t get enough of me is because I rocked his world on a beach!” You looked away, embarrassed even with all the alcohol you had consumed. He put his hand under your chin to force you to look at him.

“Muñeca, is this for real? That’s why he won’t leave you alone? He was not happy.

“Yes! But I don’t want anything to do with this guy. He didn’t even make me finish,” you whined. Fernando brushed your lower lip with his thumb. Somehow, you just knew that if it was him instead of that engineer, you would have come. Multiple times, for sure.

“Poor amorito.” He caressed your hair with his free hand. “You know I would never do that to you, right?” You chuckled lightly.

“Oh, I know.” You whispered in his ear: “I had a sex dream about you once.” This was a lie. You had multiple dreams where he had rocked your world. In multiple ways.

You started to give him a few kisses underneath his ear, in that spot that you knew he liked. He grabbed your ass to bring you closer to him.

“What? Amorcito, you must tell me how it was.” He was getting overwhelmed by your confession and the trail of kisses you left on his neck. You just laughed against his throat.

“Baby, I don’t dream and tell.” First of all, you could not believe you had actually told him you dreamed of him. No way in hell would you reveal the fantasy you had of him. He was still your boss!

But Fernando really, really wanted to know. He spun you so your back was against the bar and held you by your wrists. He got centimeters away from your face. “You will this time, muñeca.”

Ok, so he was not playing around anymore. Does the fact that this was the hottest thing you had ever seen in your life says a lot about you? About your relationship with your dad?

“You have to promise me you won’t mock me, okay?” You were suddenly shy. Maybe you should have ordered another sex on the beach. Wait, no. All of this started because of a stupid sex on the beach. A tequila sunrise would have to do next time.

He kissed your cheek and slowly moved to your jaw. “I promise, amorcito. Just tell me, please. I have to know.” A man begging was always a sight to see.

“Okay, baby. I’ll tell you.” Just thinking about it made you feel hot all over. “In my dream, we were in Monaco. You had parked your car, the green Aston Martin, and… You were fucking me against it. But I mean, really fucking me.” You were blushing, but he was the one who had turned scarlet. You continued: “Remember, this is a dream, okay? A paparazzi took a picture of you, um, having me against your car, and it was all over the medias. But we didn’t care, in fact, you printed and framed the picture, and you hung it in your living room in Monaco. And we fucked again in front of it. That’s it.”

Okay, that wasn’t so bad. Your face was heating up, and you were worried since Fernando hadn’t said anything yet. Had you gone too far? You could always blame it on the alcohol. One thing for sure, you had definitely crossed the line of fake dating.

“Eres el sueño de mi vida, amorcito.” Fernando pulled you close to his body to lead you to a dark corner of the room. He pushed you against the wall and he was immediately all over you. You couldn’t help but moan when you felt him palming you.

“Fernando, baby, is this still us fake dating?” He answered between two hickeys on your neck.

“None of this is fake, muñeca. It never was.” His lips crashed on yours. It just felt so good to really have him, without pretending. You had to remember you were in a public place, otherwise your dress would have been on the floor ages ago.

“I swear I’m going to start screaming your name soon, baby. I need you so bad. Can we please go back to the hotel?” He smiled at your eagerness.

“As much as I would like everyone to hear you, including the other drivers, I think we better leave, amorcito.” He reluctantly pulled away to grab your hand.

“Don’t worry baby, the Monaco GP is in two weeks, everyone will hear me and see me screaming your name there,” You winked at him and pulled him outside of the party.

You clearly had an eye for design, because the picture of you two really did look great in the apartment you shared in Monaco.

[coolprettyleo]

begin again au ☆ - Frankies Lore!

wc: 1.8k

tw: drinking, mean coach, quitting, embarrassing? fluff bit of angst?

ryan leonard x hughes sister au!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

frankie couldn't believe what she had just done. something that had been a long time coming finally crashed down and for the first time in her life frankie felt bittersweet.

her whole life has revolved around the sport of hockey; having three brothers playing in the NHL and a mother and father who both played collegiete and now coach is a nightmare in disguise; for someone who is so tired of trying.

dont get her wrong she loved the sport. growing up, she started to confuse what the love was actually for. she thought she held the same passion to play that her brothers did, she was wrong. she now knows the love was to watch it never play it. she loved too watch her family come together and love something so much. she loved too watch other people play. she loved it from a distance. it took a while to come to terms with that.

when she explains the situation to anyone she always uses the same analogy. she loves to hear country music but that doesn't mean she wants to become the next taylor swift. even if she was a fan.

frankie had finally had enough and quit. not before going off on her coach though. something that she had been wanting to say every time she had been forced to stay after practice, run extra drills, every time she has been yelled at for tipping a shot in, every time she had been compared to her brothers, she finally did it.

*flashback to earlier*

"I want to see you guys here tomorrow morning seven am sharp!" coach lindsey said fiercely.

frankie respected the woman. her story was something she found inspiring. but right now she wanted the strangle the woman. her bones felt as if she was just hit by a bus and she hadn't had a good night sleep in about a month. so frankie being frankie, loudly groaned.

"hughes! just for that, you can stay back and do some laps!"

dont cry. dont cry. dont cry. you caused this.

her teammates filed out torwards the locker rooms desperately trying to get away before their coach decided to ultimately punish all of them while she began to skate. in her head frankie was about to lose it as her coach began to yell insult after insult.

"cmon hughes! you're never going to be good as your brothers with that speed"

"you call that faster?"

"I didn't tell you you can stop!"

coach lindsey yelled. she looked and sounded like abby lee miller. frankie smiled to herself at the thought as she began to slow down after skating as fast as she could for about fifteen minutes straight. not feeling well frankie skated off the rink towards the closest trashcan and threw up.

as she heard her coach coming up to her she began to plead.

"please, I cant take it anymore" she cried.

"your done for tonight. and fix that attitude by tomorrow morning will ya. you think your brothers are pulling this crap with their coaches?"

"I said I cant do it anymore!" frankie yelled finally having enough. shocking both herself and her coach.

"how is any of this okay! after everything you just yelled at me, pushing me through utter exhaustion, you come over here and try to act like its okay!?! i'm done."

"grow up and stop being a brat hughes. i'll see you tomorrow."

"you won't. I promise you that" Frankie threw back as she got her bag and began to walk out.

"you walk out that door and your future on this team is done!"

"its been done" frankie said walking out with tears streaming down her eyes.

*flashback ended*

she didn't know what to do. if she were to call her family they would worry and fly in thinking she was going through a manic episode, maybe she was but this felt real and it felt good.

its like her brain and heart had been at war since she was thirteen and her heart had finally won the war five years later. she didn't know whether to laugh or cry though.

she was happy because she was finally free. but she felt a dark cloud gloom over her when she realized she had to tell her family what she just did. she honestly didn't know how they were going to react.

the guilt began to rain on her as she remembered hoe happy they had been for her because they realized she can actually go on and play professionally since the PWHL had its debut and she was already a top prospect for the 2024 year draft but she just went and ruined it.

they're going to disown me.

that thought alone caused frankie to be where she was right now. in a bar with her fake ID drinking her feelings away on a wednesday night. alone. this had to be borderline alcoholic.

"I mean I wanted this right? so why do I feel like throwing myself off the bridge! why am I like this! am I being annoying? you can tell me greg" frankie rambled on to the bartender whose name was actually john.

"im going to call you and uber" he said dismissing her not wanting to deal with a drunk college girl.

"no! let me call someone!" she said taking the bar phone away from him. seeing as her phone had died about forty five minutes ago. quickly dialing the only number she remembered due to the fact she never saved his contact in her phone.

"hello?"

"drew! please, please come pick me up! you know I hate taking ubers alone. I swear i'll give you a little something after..." she said suggestively.

"frankie? hold on drews in the shower. its will, are you drunk? really on a wednesday? where are you?" will began to scold her over the phone, sounding very motherly.

"don't you judge me, I needed this. and im at the mecca" frankie slurred.

"ryan and I will be there in fifteen" he said hanging up.

__

"lady get off the counter!"

is what will and ryan heard when they walked into the bar.

"oh god" ryan said as he saw frankie start to crawl onto the counter. quickly rushing over to pull her off.

"m'not interested." she mumbled when she felt big hands around her waist.

ryan felt his heart crack. he knew he shouldn't because, one she probably thinks its some random guy and two frankie doesn't know he likes her.

since he first met frankie he realized he's had a thing for her but being the good friend he is, he kept his feelings to himself not wanting to start problems with drew.

it gives him so much anger to think about the fact that drew basically just uses her for sex. but at the same time she's probably just using drew too. so who is he to to get mad.

someone who would give her the world

"what are you doing frankie" will says giving her a disappointed look as ryan pulls her over his shoulder.

"I was just trying to dance!" frankie says upside down.

"on a wednesday at seven thirty pm? at least wait till ten" ryan says approaching the car and strapping her in.

"i quit the team"

"WHAT"

"ur lying"

will and ryan said at the same time with their eyes wide. they knew frankie hated playing hockey, they just never thought she was going to quit. someone with as much talent as frankie needs to be out there.

"m'not. im done and im scared to tell my family. I think they're going to be mad" she slurred as her eyes began to water.

ryan, who cant handle to see her cry quickly got into the back seat with her, and started to comfort her. wrapping her up in his arms and wiping her tears that began to fall from her big blue eyes. he could stare into them forever.

he told will to start driving back to her apartment as he comforted her.

"frankie, your family loves you and you know that. they're never going to hate you because you quit, if anything I think they've been expecting it-"

"geez thanks ryan" frankie says crying drunkly. ryan cant help but smile a bit because even though he hates to see her like this she looks really cute.

"not like that, its just anyone who knows and loves you can see your not happy out there. I see it, will sees it, so I know for a fact they see it too. and if they didnt and they do get mad thats on them. its your life not theirs" ryan says with his arm wrapped around her as she sniffles into his shirt.

"I guess so" she finally says seeing as their pulling up to her dorm.

"can you walk me up? its okay if you dont want too! I get it, im just scared that the RA is going to see me like this and call campus security on me and-"

"frankie! of course ill walk you up, are you kidding" ryan cuts off her rambling pulling her out of the car.

"i'll walk home smitty, you dont have to wait" ryan says knowing he was doing homework earlier that was due tonight before frankie had called.

"you sure?" will says kinda feeling bad for not staying and helping him take care of her. but then realizing ryan probably wants to take care of her.

him and gabe loved to tease ryan on the fact he was hopelessly in love with frankie. of course they would never tell drew even though they know if ryan were to just tell drew how he feels drew would back off. ryan just likes to be complicated.

"yeah, we'll be fine. right frankie?" he says keeping her upright. she was fully awake but the thing about frankie hughes is she loves to lay on the floor when she was drunk.

"yup!!" she chirps while ryan smiles down at her.

they wave goodbye to will while ryan picks her up and walks to towards her door. he smiles as he gets too her door and sees her doormat.

'cool bitches only'

he opens the door using her keys that he found in her purse and hauls her inside down the hall to her room. her room was so her. he loved it.

god I sound like a creep.

he shakes the thought from his head as he settles her down, takes off her shoes, and wipes all the remaining makeup off her face. thinking of how perfect she was.

"ryan" she says dreamingly as she feels him pull the cover over her body.

"yes baby?"

frankie felt her stomach do a cartwheel and she couldn't understand why.

"thank you. for everything."

"anytime frankie hughes"

he says before giving her a kiss on her forehead and walking home.

send in ideas for this au!! im really excited for it!

[sailormarijuanera]

(꜆꜄ᴗ͈﹏ᴗ͈)꜆꜄꜆

 “Oookaaayy, how about this one?” 

His chin rested on the same hand that held the bright, cherry red lollipop, his eyes barely flashed in your direction before he kept scrolling through his phone with his other hand.

“It isn’t terrible,” he said. The fact that that was the most positive thing he’d said about any of the outfits was the last straw. 

“Why do you agree to do things you clearly don’t want to do.” It wasn’t a question, just followed by a long, exaggerated sigh. You were already at the other side of the store, looking at yourself in the mirror. It was obvious; the only opinion that mattered was yours. 

“Did I?” came his voice, monotone as ever as he popped the candy back into his mouth. 

“Did you what?” you called back. 

“Agree.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so right. Maybe I’ll finally find a new store with less sassy employees” you said in a simple-resolution sounding tone, though you made extra sure to emphasize the first S of the last word anyone would typically use to describe Choso. Nevertheless, it was an easy fix. If you were unwelcome, you’d let him know the message was received. 

You went back into the dressing room, letting out an exasperated puff of air. The shop’s only pocket of space large enough to house the two tiny dressing rooms was tucked into the back corner of the store.  

You had just taken off the top you were trying, eyeing the crimson, lacey bra you were also considering when, without warning, the curtain to your fitting room was yanked to the side. 

“Excu-” 

“Sassy?” he interrupted. “You flaunt around in front of me looking like that, then call me sassy?” 

He was inside the room, closing the curtain behind him. You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you, you had no idea what came over him. “Choso, I-” 

“No, no, I know. You’re sorry, right?” His hands were on your hips, now. “And you’re just dying to make it up to me.” You were against the wall, and he was on you. His fingers digging into your hips, his eyes looking down at you, his lids hooded and heavy. His breathing heavy, you only noticed because his broad chest was at eye-level, and you couldn’t help but notice how much it was moving. 

“I mean, that’s not what I was gonna say,” you were suddenly hyper-aware of his hands. How large they felt against you. “You think I was flaunting?” 

The corner of his lips, his stupid, pouty lips, pulled up just the slightest bit. It was so hard to get any sort of reaction out of him, that ghost of a smile was enough to get your heart racing and your thighs rubbing against each other. His right hand skimmed over the fabric of your skirt- well, the store’s skirt,- before stopping just under your torso. Both of your chests were heaving, now. You were never one to play it cool, and this was definitely not the time you were suddenly going to spawn the ability. He licked his bottom lip, his mouth slightly agape. “I’m going to kiss you.” 

You nodded. 

“Then I’m gonna fuck you in this fitting room.” 

Your thighs pressed against each other again, and he actually gave you a smirk. “Tell me you want it.” 

“I want it,” you whispered. 

“No, baby.” His right hand stayed where it was while his left grabbed you by the chin. Not gently, necessarily, but with just enough grip to convey a message. His dark purple eyes bore into yours, the shadows of the poorly lit room making him look more shrouded in mystery than usual. The semi-permanent bags under his eyes somehow made him that much hotter, which you were sure he was fully aware of. He knew how fine he was, and it was causing you great emotional distress. “I don’t believe you.” 

“Please,” you said. Your voice was raspy, you didn’t realize just how bad you wanted him. Or more accurately, you’d been working so hard to get over your little crush and now it was being undone in seconds. You’d only just stopped fantasizing about him before bed, after meeting him toward the end of spring. Now it was almost fall, and you were being sucked in all over again. 

“There we go,” but his grip on your chin didn’t loosen. Instead, his other hand roamed greedily down your body, then back up before stopping at your chest. His lips finally landed on yours at the same moment his hand slipped under your bra. The sweet cherry flavor lingered on his breath, mingled with the simple, clean-smelling cologne you always associated him with. You wanted nothing more than to sink into him and meld your mouth into his until separation became a distant thought, a fleeting notion. But he wasn’t having it, you couldn’t get too comfortable apparently, there were things to do. His fingers pinched and pulled at your nipple ever so slightly, but just enough to send a delicious shiver down your body, right between your legs. You could feel how wet you were getting, and somewhere in the back of your mind was the hope that he would be into it. He grabbed your bottom lip with his teeth before pulling back just a bit, then he let go. His eyes met yours. 

He didn’t say anything, only moved that same fucking hand from your tit down your stomach, his fingers moving right past your underwear like it wasn’t even there because why the fuck were you even wearing underwear? Huh? 

Two fingers slipped in so easily, that it seemed to earn you some praise. “Oh my fucking god,” he groaned, and relief and arousal battled over which would consume you first. “Of course, it’s wet for me. It better be this fucking wet every single time.” His fingers curved into your pussy but couldn’t go any deeper because of your awkward position. That fact didn’t seem to bother him because he seemed just as determined to make you cum. In small, sharp movements he pumped those glorious fucking fingers in and out of you, your pussy dripping by the time he’d decided you’d had enough. You were a gasping mess and you’d never seen him so happy. His smile was small, just barely tugging on the corners of his lips, but it was because of you. 

Now he was on his knees in front of you, his big hands grabbed the skirt by the sides, and flipped up the fabric before landing soft kisses on the front of your thighs.  He bunched up the fabric on one side, his left hand holding the skirt taut around your torso, holding you firmly in place. His right hand grabbed your thigh and brought it over his shoulder, his mouth almost immediately on your cunt. Normally, it’d be a bad sign for a guy to ignore foreplay like this completely, but it seemed his mere existence was enough foreplay for you. He had to be aware of this, because why else would you be so wet?

[yakumtsaki]

AND WE'RE BACK. My cancerous thyroid might have briefly cucked me, but now I'm about to cuck every goddamn semi-incestuous couple in this house. Isn't that right, Baby?

-CAWK CAWK

Exactly! Baby here is a parrot that Meadow rolled the want for and I was like sure, what problems could a parrot possibly cause?

-OPEN THIS DOOR. SOMEONE OPEN THIS DOOR FOR ME. OPEN IT RIGHT NOW OPEN IT OPEN IT

Um it should open automatically for you wtf?

-OPEN THE DOOR, MAMMAL TRASH, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

Ok Baby seriously why won't the doors open for you?

-I DON'T KNOW BUT I WILL STAY HERE AND PREVENT EVERYONE FROM GOING TO CLASS BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO STUPID TO USE THE OTHER DOOR

Alright then, clearly there's only one solution to this..

Perfection.

-Um, what happened to the door?

-IT ASKED TOO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS. OUT OF THE WAY, HUMMIE SCUM

Well, Baby was clearly a much needed addition to this house. Now, to the main event: an end to the Year of Sin!

NOP, NEVERMIND, SPOKE TOO SOON, MUST DO THIS INSTEAD. We invite Good Witch over for Spice and she asks to bring a friend and it's FUCKING MALCOLM. LMAO. I simply have to, I can't resist-

-Well well well, if it isn't the famous Malcolm Landgraab IV, the finest intergenerational concubine the world has ever seen!

-Huh?

-You were too much of a straggot to date my father, but I know you won't be able to resist the charms of the much better looking son!

-What?

-God, the conversation is just crackling with sexual tension!

-So, Malc, I believe we should make out. Thoughts?

-Where are those fucking butterflies coming from?

-Your stomach? ;)

No, they're from the Good Witch, my bad y'all.

After many, MANY hours of talking, Malcolm finally accepts a lame wolf whistle-

-but our efforts are interrupted by Felina returning from class. WILL YOU GIVE IT A FUCKING REST FOR ONE DAY

-NEVER

-Sorry kid, but if Malcolm Landgraab is to ever consider bisexuality, it will be for someone who can beat up his own sister.

Wtf kinda rule is that you freak?? You know what, just gtfo-

-NO. Stay here, Malcolm, I'd like to hear stories about you and great-great grandma Victoria!

-Oh wow, now that was a real woman. She could hold her liquor, she could whore around, she could beat up anyone.. No man could ask for anyone more feminine!

You are so right, Malcolm, the only one to ever do it better was Long John Silver!

Ok seriously Barth is there a plan here, why are we wasting valuable time on platonic interactions with this loser?

-I just have a feeling true love will prevail!

What are you even talking about-

UM PWND @ ME WTF. ACR DOES IT AGAIN WITH LITERAL NEGATIVE CHEMISTRY LOL

OH FUCK YES TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. Two Babies with one stone if you will!

-HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

Ya ok GROSS but finally we can put this behind us, 1 down, 200 more to go. Cyan go back to your other cousin-lover while you still can because I'm breaking you up too!

-Don't have to tell me twice!

Ugh.

-Hmmm...

What now, Barth.

-Nothing, I just keep forgetting I actually have two eyes.

Ya, you and me both.

-But now that I possess peripheral vision, I see there's so much to be done in this house.

You have set yourself on fire multiple times, please stop with the household tasks, that's why we have a butler.

-But he never actually does anything!

Yes well, his main job is to answer the door and we no longer have one, but it's still money well spent.

-WELL I WILL FIX THE DISHWASHER OR DIE TRYING

-BARTH NO I STILL LOVE YOU

-FUCK YOU SUNSET, YOU BROKE MY HEART BY SLEEPING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. HE'S NOT EVEN RELATED TO YOU

Barth no offense but I think I'm ready for your next electrocution to take you out.

-As am I!

-And I!

-GETTING SLAPPED MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY IS STARTING TO AFFECT MY MENTAL HEALTH HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP

You could stop being Satan incarnate?

-No, there has to be a better way!

-How about I sleep with the boyfriend of the only cousin in this house who doesn't already hate me?

Yes, absolutely, and please take another crack at fixing the dishwasher when you're done.

[vbs-kaitos-big-naturals]

i think the main thing i hate about 'suicide units' in school health classes is how bad the advice is. like wtf??? no dont tell a persons parents theyre suicidal without the persons permission thats fucked up

instead of doing what school tells you, please follow these rules:

dont tell authority figures about someone's suicidal thoughts/sh unless you know theyre in active danger or they gave you permission. its a breach of privacy and trust, and it could put them in a bad spot if their parents are abusive.

please dont treat a suicidal person with pity/babying. its just plain demeaning. unless youre sure theyre okay with something else, treat them normally and just check in on them more.

and if YOURE suicidal, they dont even teach you how to deal with it or cope, they just give you 988/other hotline and send you on your way. its superficial care.

here are some ACTUAL tips if youre suicidal/struggling in anyway with mental illness:

if you cant do things the way youre supposed to, then cut corners. some is better than nothing.

the little things can make a difference. seeing your keychain always makes you feel a little better, so take that keychain everywhere. it wont fix everything, but a little bit of joy can go a long way.

find other people who are struggling like you. online spaces are a good start! however, if you feel like the environment is just making you feel negative and more depressed, you should leave to prevent further harm.

FIND THINGS YOU ENJOY. please. whether it be rhythm games, reading, drawing, hell, doing math equations, things that youre passionate about can be like a rock to support yourself when it gets bad. they make you feel better, they give you a purpose (though you dont need one to be worthy of life, remember that) and they give you something to connect to others with.

try to get some sunlight. vitamin D deficiency is awful and can cause serious depression, so letting the sun do its job can make you feel a little better. bonus points for either going outside or opening a window to get fresh air!

as soon as you can comfortably and safely do so, please try to go to a therapist to help you figure out how to cope with your symptoms. theyll still be there, but they can live alongside you instead of preventing you from living.

a lot of this stuff can be good for executive dysfunction too! if you need depression meals, a basic rule of thumb is to try and get all the food groups. if you only have instant noodles and some eggs, then make the instant noodles as cook the eggs in the broth. if you only have rice, peanuts, and some hot sauce, put those together. etc etc. there are tons of great resources out there too, ill probably reblog later with some.

most of all, of you seriously think youre at your wits end and might kill yourself after another issue, or maybe your parents yelled at you, or maybe you got laid off, whatever it is, call a hotline. things can be fixed, but if theyre fixed when youre gone, you wont be around to see how happy you could be :(

okay thats all. i hope i gave a few people better health education than school did. try to drink some water and maybe have a snack if you havent, and remember, i love you!!

(ps im not a licensed professional nor am i an expert, ive just been pretty depressed and suicidal for a long time, so this is speaking from mine and other's experience. if anyone else has something to say on it, i encourage sharing!! lets use our collective knowledge to defeat the pta mandated shallow health class)

[klxudykai]

i live in my imagination

i realized this a few days ago but classic me, I avoided it. but that was until I made the "ugly side of shifting" post. so this is me coming to terms with the fact that I live in my imagination. its been like that for years but it hit way harder when i got into shifting. it was just something I did when I didn't want to be surrounded by the real world. but I realize that its become an unhealthy amount. I don't suffer from maladaptive daydreaming or anything (at least I dont think I do), but that doesn't mean its not affecting me mentally and even socially. I dont have the desire to hang out with my cr friends like that because I'm so used to my imagination. it makes me comfortable because I can made it however I wanted it to be. I can make the people say and do whatever. its part of the reason I don't really talk about my problems to people I'm close with too. they aren't going to tell me the stuff I want to hear or its going to end up being something I've heard already. i recently started saying that I like the way I do things. which is true. I like being in my own space dealing with my issues on my own because no one else would tell me what I need to hear.

and when the thought that it was becoming an unhealthy obsession hit me, I hated it. and I still do. I don't want to give up on something that has made me stable and happy for years, but I know that if I want to shift and also make a real bond with my cr, I have to. so that's why I'm making a post. this is one of those things I cant do alone or keep to myself because again, I like the way I handle things so if it was up to me, I would delete this blog and go back to daydreaming 24/7, but I actually want to shift. I'm hoping that with this post we'll hold each other accountable and remind each other to actually SHIFT instead of daydreaming all the time.

sadly I don't have a lot of ideas of how to minimize day dreaming because everything I do makes me day dream BUT we are cutting all fanfics out those only make our imaginations bigger and cause us to daydream. so DONT. start embracing your CR and do smth like go outside or paint or do a new mf hobby. avoid daydreaming as much as you can

i gave up on a lot of problem solving, but this is one I intend to actually fix. and I would love for y'all to do that with me. if you don't want to that's perfectly fine I wouldn't want anyone to feel forced, but if you know you can then do it. don't say nothing like "oh no I cant do it I give up" because that sets you back further. so please at least try

once again I love y'all so much, pls dm me if you have anything you wanna talk about and if you have anything you wanna ask my asks are open (if y'all can even see them cause on mobile its not showing up for me idk) but yea <33

(yes I double posted shhhh)

[mysadcorner]

Sam Monroe Dating Headcanons

Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in requests 

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- Sam would be very reserved when you first try to get to know him; he’d be very defensive and closed off as he doesn’t want anyone to truly see how vulnerable he is deep down. But over time he begins to notice how much you care for him and his trust for you will eventually develop into him craving your time.

- He starts to let his guard down once you’re in a relationship together, and this is when you really see how emotional he is. He gets distressed over the slight issues you may face and he feels guilty that he wasn’t there to fix it for you, especially when he’s the cause of your pain when he’s breaking down or being distant towards you for a while.

- You would have known after first meeting Sam that he used certain “substances” pretty often, but you wouldn’t realise how bad the problem was until you really started to see his behaviour every day. Sam probably didn’t notice how bad his problem actually was until you sat down with him and opened up to him about your concerns, and then it dawns on him that he needs to seriously cut down to be able to function properly (for your sake at least).

- Sam would be confused and distant from you when he tried to think about why you might actually like him or what your reasons for being with him are, and this is mainly due to his own self doubt causing a sort of paranoia and untrusting feeling towards his relationship with you. Despite this, he always comes back to you fairly quickly.

- When Sam’s having problems with his family or is feeling especially stressed out he’ll come to you instantly and lets out all of his emotions only for you to see. He’ll openly cry and even scream if he has anger he needs to get out, but even when he does this he holds himself back from smashing things or acting out so that he doesn’t scare you away.

- Just being with you will ease him into a better way of life. He gets used to finally being honest about certain things, opening up about his emotions and staying away from people who could badly influence you or get him into trouble as he doesn’t want to worry you. Because of this, his behaviour and attitude eventually starts to reflect his better decisions because of his relationship with you.

- Dealing with him pushing you away - When he does need some alone time, which isn’t very often but does happen when he’s too overwhelmed to open up to you about it and acts recklessly, he comes back to you after a while feeling very guilty. He always loves giving physical affection towards you as it provides him comfort

- If Sam does get himself into a bad situation you’re the first person he comes to for help, and depending on how old he is will dictate which parent he tells about the situation. He trusts you not to overreact and help him find the clarity he needs for the situation and find himself he best possible way to get out if he can without anyone else getting involved. 

- His mental health and emotional problems would be a big obstacle to overcome, but even just the simple time he spends with you would significantly help him, although your first time realising his struggles might come from his love bombing towards you. He becomes calmer and more self-aware about how his behaviour affects others, and will start apologising for when he acts out or becomes rude to people when they didn’t deserve it )even though the apology might come after a while of you convincing him to do it).

- Sam would actively try to get clean for you as he imagines spending his life with you and wants to be the best person he can for you, although he will struggle with this significantly due to how long he’s been using certain drugs for. However, due to his initiative it’s fairly easy for him to stay away from new substances. Over time you can see his mentality and health clearing up, while his happiness significantly increases with how he’s growing as a person for you and everyone else he’s close to.

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @daffi-990 @rewritetheending @hippolotamus @inell

thanks darlins! <3

here's a bit of a tease from the first chapter of my big bang fic which should be dropping soon :)

Buck runs his eyes over Eddie, something considerate and careful creeping into his eyes as he takes in every inch of Eddie, for all intents and purposes looking like he is trying to find something wrong, a wound or a piece of hurt he can diagnose and help take care of.

Eddie wishes he could tell Buck that there is nothing to find. He wishes that whatever is broken in him could be treated in the field, held together with a stint and allowed to heal over an appropriate period of time. But there’s no cast or any other kind of tool to fix the distressed edges of himself.

He would never say it to Buck, but he feels like a hopeless cause. Utterly lost and unable to be found.

Perhaps he should trade out his St. Christopher pendant for St. Jude.

Buck scoots a little closer to him, that godawful bony protrusion on the side of his knee digging into Eddie sharply, but Eddie doesn’t flinch away from it. He welcomes it actually. It’s nice even if it hurts.

“Are you sure you’re good?” Buck asks, the corner of his mouth dipping into his cheek with thoughtfulness as he raises a hand and slaps it against Eddie’s forehead. “You getting sick on me? A little loopy maybe?”

Buck’s grin would be evident even if Eddie couldn’t see it, soaking his words with this brightness that Eddie’s still not used to having aimed at him, not in such concentrated doses. It warms him up, the sound of that smile and the sight of it, all curving and pleased and pink.

But he doesn’t want to give away how much he likes seeing it, how much it feels like a beam of sunlight offered to him in the depths of a dark grave, so he jerks back away from Buck’s touch, slapping his wrist and wrinkling his nose in annoyance.

Buck snickers as he drops his hand into his lap and Eddie doesn’t quite understand why he wants to keep that hand but the desire flares up in him all the same.

“You don’t feel warm,” Buck goes on with a pat to Eddie’s knee. “But you do look like shit.”

“Gee thanks, man. Really helping my self-esteem here.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

Eddie hums and falls back onto the couch, nudging Buck’s ankle with his socked toe. “Next time I’ll tell Frank to go easier on me so I can keep looking pretty for you.”

tagging @spaceprincessem @shitouttabuck @bigfootsmom @queerdiazs @freewayshark @jeeyuns @spagheddiediaz @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon @buckera @dr-shortsighted-owl @spotsandsocks @lemonzestywrites @try-set-me-on-fire @sibylsleaves @lonelychicago @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @saybiwithme @bekkachaos @transboybuckley @shyaudacity @wikiangela @epicbuddieficrecs and anyone else who wants to share!

[pearlesscentt]

pancakes for two

haechan x reader, college!au, fluff, 477 words

"i might have a crush on you."

haechan's sudden confession caught you off guard, causing your fork to clank against the plate. you glanced around the bustling diner to make sure you didn't disturb other patrons — most of whom your fellow students who are either restless from school work, or curing a hangover, or both — and to see if anyone else had overheard what he just said. your wide-eyed gaze locked with his, as he returned it with sincerity in his eyes. you could tell he was nervous because of the way he shifted in his seat across from you.

this quaint diner had become your shared haven. a saturday tradition for the both of you which involved an earl grey tea for you and a cup of coffee for him, two stacks of pancakes with maple syrup, and a platter of scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns to share.

for some reason, you still remembered vividly how this tradition came about; it was three years ago, you and haechan were just acquaintances that had a bunch of mutual friends, it had been a long night of drinking punch that tasted suspiciously like gasoline and sprite, and it was even inclusive of the brutal hangover that came after.

three years later, here you were in your regular booth, sitting across from each other like the first morning. you'd only gotten closer with each other over the years and you hadn't stopped coming here since.

"actually, i really do have a crush on you," he repeated, his voice now more resolute and confident. he reached for his coffee, swiftly downing the cup like it was water.

you bit your lip as you tried to come up with a response. "really?" you finally managed, fiddling with the fork on your plate. "because i have a crush on you too." you added with a smile, and both of you burst into fits of giggles.

"we're so cheesy," you remarked between chuckles.

"i know," haechan agreed. the laughter subsided after a moment, but his gaze remained fixed on you. instead of the jitters earlier, he now radiated warmth and beamed at you with a loving smile. "three years of friendship and two years of being together, and i still have the biggest crush on you."

"happy 2nd anniversary, my love," you said. the busy saturday morning chatter in the diner faded into the background as butterflies fluttered inside you — a familiar feeling you had come to know since meeting haechan. in that moment, all you felt was joy and contentment, appreciating the pleasure of sharing your favorite meal with your favorite person. it was a feeling of profound gratitude for the luck, the foul-tasting punch, and the stacks of pancakes that had brought you together.

he reached over across the table to hold your hand. "happy anniversary to us, indeed."

nct masterlist | navigation ── reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated !

© 2023 PEARLESSCENTT. please do not steal my works.

[katasstrophy]

This and shidou and date night need i say more?

—𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄'𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐓'𝐒

cw. SMUT. MDNI! fem! reader. exнιвιтισиιѕм (the tiddies are out). fιngєяιng. pet names (babydoll + baby). one (1) cheeky ass slap. implied nιρρℓe play. implied violence. window fυ¢кιng. it's shidou — he's horrible and fucked in the head! // this man does truly nasty delulu things to my brain chemistry.

oh my GOD you better hope and pray that shidou doesn’t find out how easily he could just have that sexy little dress off your figure in a matter of seconds with a clever twist of his fingers because he will use it to his advantage. shamelessly. in public. he does not care.

he distracts you thoroughly by pawing at the meat of your thighs with his greedy fingers where the silver chains dangle, only to untie the flimsy black straps resting at the back of your neck when you least except it, exposing your bare chest to the cool air outside and everyone else watching in your proximity, but most importantly, exposing you to him. he doesn’t get to leer at your gorgeous pair of tits for long, however, as you scramble to quickly cover some of your modesty with your hands, a horrified gasp falling from your lips as the front of your dress continues to uselessly pool around your waist.

and shidou, like the absolute scummy bastard he is, has the audacity to whine in protest, mind far away from thinking of how to help you cover up and more leaning towards prying your fingers away from your breasts so he can see your pretty, peddled nipples again, maybe lean down and even suck on them a lil’, he’s generous like that.

“ryusei, what the actual fuck? we’re in public, you fucking cockroach!” you snarl, your eyes blazing like the gates of hell. the sight makes shidou’s cock stir in his pants. how he adores it when you get mouthy with him.

“aw, c’mon, babydoll. i haven’t seen your tits since this mornin’, you can’t fault me for wanting another looksie. i even stood before ya so the others wouldn’t see. aren’t i a gentleman?”

his grin is sharp and feral like the slash of a scythe as shidou licks his lips, like the air tastes sugary just from soaking in your embarrassment and heated cheeks. he means every word he says.

you resist the urge to tell him you want to castrate him for sport. knowing him, it’d just make him hornier.

“you’re seriously fucked in the head,” you spit at him instead, squaring your shoulders and spinning around to locate the bathroom and fix yourself up with as much dignity as you can muster in your vulnerable state.

“babydollll,” he giggles after you, all lulls and foreboding. “don’t be like that! ya should’a double knotted.”

to stick it to him, you make sure to quadruple knot the straps of your dress lest he gets any more brilliant ideas of undressing you for everyone to fucking see — a decision shidou makes you regret a couple hours later when he drags you back to his sky-rise penthouse, shoving you up against his floor to ceiling, crystal clear windows, rucking your dress up to sink his thick, unforgiving fingers into your tight heat until your knees buckle from the onslaught of pleasure.

“ryu-seiii,” you hiccup, completely out of it but hungry for more of his punishing touch. “please, uh, i need more, touch me more.”

shidou has the tells of your body mapped out and committed to memory, knows that by now your cute, puffy nipples that you denied him from looking at and feeling up earlier to his twisted heart’s content must be sore and aching for his attention, so he coos at you, void of any sympathy, reminding you this could have all been avoided if you would have just showed your breasts to him earlier like the good little angel you usually were for him.

it’s not like he would’ve let anyone escape without two bulging black eyes if they dared to stare at what was his.

“you know i’d love to play with your tits, babydoll. but i just can’t reach ‘em ‘cause of y’re naughty—” shidou brings his palm down on your exposed asscheeks, your yelp at the sting of his slap drowned out by the lewd squelching of your arousal as he pumps three fingers in and out of you like he hates you. “—little dress of yours. shouldn’t’ve made so many knots, hm? if you untie your handy-work i might reconsider thoouugghh.”

your trembling fingers scramble to the back of your neck again, almost clawing at the neat, sturdy knots you made only hours before out of retaliation, desperate for your sadistic boyfriend to pinch and and abuse your nipples just the way you like it until the flesh is raw and tender.

but when the dress finally slips off you yet again, shidou only pushes you more harshly against the glass, squishing the fat of your breasts into the cold, hard planes, chuckling cruelly as you thrash helplessly in his iron hold while he shimmies out of his pants.

“no, ryu, please, you promised. you promised to play with me mmmf—”

as much as he adores you being mouthy, as shidou shoves his fingers coated with your slick into your mouth until he hears you gag, he thinks it’s time you learned a lesson.

“sshhh, baby. you’ve already been bad today, so be good f’me now, yeah? time to put on a real show.”

then he’s bottoming out in your sloppy cunt in one brutal thrust, fucking you within an inch if your life as you writhe and sob on his suffocating fingers until your mixed juices trickle down your legs and soak into the expensive carpet, putting on a show to any lucky by-walker who happens to peer up at your debauched lovemaking.

because shidou does love you. so much. just like the cockroach you called him — ugly, incessant, and indestructible.

[footballfanficwriter]

Learn to Share

Summary: Kylian gets backlash on how he's been playing and it's affecting marriage

"Luis (psg coach) had no right to say those things about me I've been working my ass off and I carried the team how dare he"

"Kylian you were selfish with the ball during the game"

"You're taking his side?"

"No I'm not, I'm just saying if you had shared the ball and assisted then you wouldn't have been then only one to score"

"So I must dumb myself down because people are jealous of me?"

"Not that people are jealous of you, it's that you have to acknowledge the fact that you are in a team of 10 other people, you have to give others a chance to be in the spotlight"

"I had to earn my chance in the spotlight, I had to work hard for it and now you want me to hand the opportunity to someone on a silver platter"

"It's called team work"

"No it's not it's called jealousy"

"Just give others a chance Kylian"

"I won't let that happen"

"If you don't fix up then you're going to be benched"

"He won't bench me, I'm to good of a player"

"There you go with the cockyness"

"I'm not cocky, I'm telling the truth"

"You're being cocky, Kylian people agree with what Luis said they are saying how you can't work with anyone, please my love you need to learn how to share the spotlight it's only fair"

"Share the spotlight with who?"

"With Ousmane for instance he hasn't scored his First PSG Goal yet and he's from Barça, how do you think he's feeling, people telling him that he made a mistake by leaving Baça and how he hasn't been playing well, put yourself in his shoes for a second"

"People in the team are lazy they have to learn how to play it's not my job to teach them"

"Kylia-"

"Why don't you mind your business huh why are you so invested in my life and the things I do, don't you have something else to stress about, God your so annoying" he says walking into the kitchen

I can feel the anger and hurt boiling inside me and I walk to my room and walk over to Kylian's wardrobe and start throwing his clothes out the door

"What are you doing" he asks

"You'll find somewhere else to sleep tonight since I'm so annoying"

"Are you crazy"

"Yeah maybe I am"

"Why are you doing this"

"Cause I can't mind my own business and because I'm so invested in your life"

"I didn't mean it like that"

"I don't care you said it at the end of the day"

"Fine you know what, I'm glad you're doing this actually, it'll give me a break from seeing your annoying self"

"Fine by me actually, and from now on you do your own laundry and make your own dinner since I'm so invested in your life and can't mind my business"

He stops and looks at me for some time and says

"Maybe it was a mistake for us to get married"

This makes me stop throwing his clothes out the door to look at him 

"What?" I ask

"Yeah, maybe we hurried into things"

"It that how you feel?"

"It's what I think"

"Ok, if that's the case and you no Longer want to be in this marriage then so be it, organize some divorce papers and I'll sign them"

"We can still make it work though you know, we'll get through this ma Cheri"

"Kylian why would you say that"

"Because it's true"

"So what you want to end it?"

"If we can't work it out then yes"

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"And I love you too"

"Then why would you suggest leaving?"

"Because you look unhappy my love, the spark you once had Is no longer there"

"But that's not because of you"

"I don't know" he says as he places his hand on my cheek and kisses my forehead

He picks his clothes up and starts walking towards the guest rooms

I slam the door and sigh and start crying feeling like my world is coming to an end and along with it my marriage only because my husband is so stubborn

It's times like these when Kylian and I get into arguments when I start to question his love for me and my questions have now only increased because he is thinking about a divorce