#if anyone fancies writing up this song in sheet music so i can get one of my more talented friends to sing it please please please do it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bright-molina · 4 years ago

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Everything I Didn’t Say (Part One)

synopsis: You knew Sunset Curve would make it big. What you didn’t expect, though, was losing the people that mattered most to you. Now you’re left to navigate all the regrets you were left with. Turns out you’re not the only one with regrets though.

word count: 4.8k

pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

warnings: mentions of the guys dying, mentions of grief, there’s also a bit where reader goes to therapy if that counts as a warning

a/n: For @jatpx5sos Week Day Two: Parallels! The parallel I used is Everything I Didn’t Say and Unsaid Emily. This is also part one of about nine of the Everything I Didn’t Say series which I’m so freakin excited about not gonna lie. The second part will be up in a couple days!

Also real quick, the bold italics are the lyrics just as a note.

“You can’t be sneaking in here, you know.”

“I know. But I wanted to see you.”

Luke smiled as he slid into the seat beside you, not hesitating at all to take your hand, press his lips to the back of it, then lean his head on your shoulder. Each action a silent acknowledgment that he really had missed you quite a bit in the last few hours since you’d seen him.

The moment was broken up quickly by Bobby taking a seat right on the opposite side of Luke. He set his head on the palm of his hand and looked up with wide eyes and a smirk. “What about me? Did you want to see me too?”

“Oh always.” Luke answered just as easily with his own smirk, shooting a wink in his direction. Your laugh and Reggie’s mingled together as he and Alex approached the table just in time to hear the last of their quips. Meanwhile Alex only smiled in amusement while he dug out the item he was looking for from his backpack.

You took the notebook back from him and he took his usual seat across from you. As you waited for his feedback you noticed Luke’s attention narrow at the item and you wordlessly handed it over to him. Almost immediately he sat up to eagerly search for the page that held the newest song you were working on.

Your attention remained focused on Alex. “What do you think, will it work?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Alex nodded, glancing at where Luke was now looking through the most recent lyrics you had added, he and Bobby quickly jumping into a conversation about possible rhythms and melodies.

“Well I know so,” Reggie nudged his shoulder and grinned as he turned to face you. “The song screams drum heavy and if anyone can do it it’s our Alex. We were gonna stop by the music rooms during free period to work some stuff out. You should come with!”

Just as you were about to argue that you couldn’t Luke looked away from the notebook, his pencil leaving a half finished word behind. “Forget that, let’s just head back to Bobby’s. We’ll work on it and have the chorus nailed by the end of the day.”

It took very little convincing for the three boys to agree to Luke’s proposition, each of them stuffing what was left of their lunches in their bags. You, on the other hand, stayed silent. A fact which they noted.

It was a place you had found yourself in dozens of times before. Reggie, Alex, and Bobby said their goodbyes to you and moved just far away enough to pretend they couldn’t hear you and Luke talking.

This time was different though. It wasn’t just another harmless practice session to mess around in. In exactly four days time Sunset Curve would be playing The Orpheum. This was one of their last practices before then and they were determined to get everything as close to perfect as they could. Including the most recent song they wanted to debut just for the occasion.

“I -” You wanted to join them more than anything. But the argument you’d had with your parents just that morning rang loud in your head. It’d been prompted by a failed test, a less than ideal summer school progress report, and another full song book they’d found. “I can’t.”

“We need you,” Luke turned in his seat to face you and reached forward, interlocking your hands together once more. “We’re almost there, just a few more days until the show and then we’re solid. Then I promise you can focus on these fancy prep classes, I’ll even help you.”

It was tempting, you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t. Writing those songs beside Luke was quite possibly the best thing you had. It couldn’t be the only thing anymore though and that was a fact you hated admitting to yourself.

“I can’t,” You gave a sigh and tapped the cover of the notebook quickly. “I’ll work on the song a bit in my free time and meet you there later alright?”

As much as Luke wanted to argue, he didn’t. Not at the time being. He could understand well enough the pressure you were under. So he only nodded, gave you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and squeezed your hands once before standing. “Yeah. Later.”

“So what do you think?” Luke asked excitedly as the notes they’d been playing faded away softly. All of them were looking at you eagerly and you tried your best to match their excitement. And you really did love what they’d done with the song. It was just hard to be as enthusiastic when the rest of your afternoon had been less than ideal.

You finally answered him, trying to push your other worries and the pile of work you knew you had waiting for you to the back of your mind. “It’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you think so cause we have news,” Luke stepped forward after cheering at your approval along with the others. “We wanna make it our closer for Saturday.”

You didn’t try to hide your disbelief that time, though you did wonder for a second if you’d heard him right. “It’s not gonna be ready on time.”

“So we’ll put extra work into it,” Luke frowned a bit but stepped towards you anyway. “I’ve already got ideas for the verses, just tell me when and we’ll work on it.”

“I can’t.” You repeated the words as you tried to push away the echoes of an argument you knew you couldn’t ignore anymore.

“You can’t?” The rest of the room had grown quiet and tense but Luke kept going. “Y/N this is huge for all of us, you included.”

“And I get that, I do,” You finally looked away from the words in the songbook and up at him. “But as much as you want me to, I can’t put all my focus on this. Not right now.”

“Why not?”

And there it was.

There were so many ways in which you and Luke were the same. The two of you could spend hours side by side doing what you both loved. Writing and creating music together in a way that was special. In a way that you didn’t have with anyone else.

This was where you were different though. Luke was braver than you were, you could admit that much. He was ready to drop everything to pursue a future in music with the band and he had. You couldn’t do that though, not with parents who had never wanted you to start this journey in the first place.

And though you had expected it you still didn’t believe it. You were very aware of Bobby, Alex, and Reggie avoiding all eye contact with either of you. Sure conversations similar to this one had happened before but never had you looked as angry as you did now.

Without another word you stood, shoving the songbook in your bag along with the text books that had sat unused. It was better to get out of there. You didn’t want to but you had to.

“Y/N -”

“I have more going on then you care to know, alright?” It was all you said before storming out of the garage.

Luke followed you, though, determined to figure out whatever was happening. He needed you and that was a fact he wasn’t afraid to admit. “Tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

For a second you weren’t too sure what to think. The rational part of your brain knew he did care. Of course he did, he’d helped you as many times as you’d helped him. But you weren’t listening to that part. It was easier to listen to the part of you that didn’t require too much thought when your mind was already a storm of second guesses.

“Why? You only want to know so we can finish this song.”

Luke tried reaching for you like he always did but stopped when you took a step back. “That’s not the only reason.”

“So it is part of the reason.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?” You didn’t mean for the words to start coming out. There wasn’t a single filter in place at the moment and every thought, no matter how little you meant them, came out. “That what I have going on isn’t as important? I can’t afford to put all my energy into this, Luke. I’ve told you before and you always say you understand but I don’t think you really do.”

“I do understand.”

“Do you?” With a sigh you took the songbook out of your bag, one with both your names scribbled on the front cover in his handwriting, and shoved it into his hands. “Do whatever you want with them, they’re all yours now.”

You were positive the clock on your wall was mocking you. The ticking seemed louder than ever, as if it knew all you wanted to do was ignore it.

You hadn’t talked to Luke at all in the last four days. Both Reggie and Bobby had stopped by a couple times and Alex, who lived right next door, checked in with you every morning and every night. You were sure he was put up to it, despite telling you otherwise.

With an annoyed groan you backed your chair away from the desk and started spinning in slow circles. Their soundcheck would be starting soon and you were trying to push the thought out of your head and focus on the homework you were supposed to be working on.

Then the wheels of the chair slipped back in the middle of a spin and the textbook on your desk toppled to the floor. A single sheet of notebook paper was left on the floor after you picked it up. When you reached for the paper you were met with the sight of a dozen creases and a mix of different handwriting.

The memory connected to it was as vivid as ever. It was one of the first songs you’d written with Luke forever ago. It had gotten confiscated from the two of you after you’d been caught passing it back and forth during class. Then you’d both been given detention after a little too much begging to have it back.

Without another thought you stood and reached for the badge with the Orpheum logo and the letters ‘VIP’ printed underneath it. Luke had given it to you proudly weeks ago while declaring ‘You really don’t think we’d do this without you, right?’

You practically sprinted out of the house, ignoring the calls of your mom asking what you were doing, and left. You were certain now that there was only one place you had to be.

It took two buses and sprinting as fast as you could a few blocks before you finally reached the building, frantically showing the person at the door your badge. The looks you received from various employees did nothing to stop you from running through the halls until you reached the stage area.

Almost immediately you zeroed in on the sound of a familiar voice and called his name. You watched as Bobby looked around for a few seconds before finding the place where you stood. His grin matched your own and he met you halfway, excusing himself from the girl he’d been talking to.

“I knew you’d make it,” He nodded towards the badge and laughed a bit. “You’re too stubborn not to.”

“Very funny.” You rolled your eyes at him before smiling at the girl who had joined the two of you. She held a Sunset Curve shirt in her hands along with a demo and you knew without having to ask what had happened there.

“Rose, this is Y/N,” Bobby’s smile turned more genuine and less teasing. “The brain behind about half our songs.”

“Half is too generous.”

“And you’re too modest.”

“You’re a songwriter?” Rose practically beamed and you couldn’t help but take after her as you nodded. “Remind me to get some input from you on a few things I’m working on.”

“I’m happy to help,” You told her and waited as she scribbled down her number on a napkin. You thought your glance around the room had been subtle but Bobby had noticed almost right away.

“Luke’s not here,” Of course he knew what you were thinking and who you were looking for. “He went to get some food with Reg and Alex.”

“Did they say where they were going?”

“Not really. Said they were getting hot dogs and you know how they are with street food.” He noticed the way your shoulders sank and you started twisting the lanyard of the badge around your hands and reached forward to stop you. “Hey, they’ll be back soon. You can talk to Luke then alright?”

You tried to nod but all you could think of was the argument. It was days later and you’d thought much too long about it. “Is he mad at me?”

“Are you kidding? He could never be.” Bobby gave you the most reassuring smile he could and to his relief it worked a little.

“Hey, why don’t you tell me about one of your songs,” Rose caught on easily to how anxious you were getting and started pulling you towards one of the tables after shouting behind her shoulder that she was taking her break. “Then I’ll tell you about one of mine. Deal?”

“Yeah,” You nodded as the three of you sat down. “Yeah, alright.”

Rose’s distraction worked. You lost track of time and very quickly grew invested in the conversation. So much so that you didn’t really notice what was going on around you.

You didn’t notice the sound of sirens passing by the building. You didn’t notice the way the chatter outside became louder as a crowd grew. You didn’t notice the sudden silence of the room as a single police officer stepped in, speaking briefly to the manager before walking towards the table.

“Are you -” The officer paused for a second, glancing around at the three of you before giving a soft sigh and focusing on the person he was looking for. “Are you Bobby?”

“Yeah.” The easy going smile Bobby had been wearing faded quickly. You knew yours did too. “I am. Why?”

Then this overwhelming, sinking feeling filled every part of your body. Something was wrong. You knew just by the look on the officer's face. The words he spoke next only confirmed it. Reggie. Alex. Luke. Accident. Tragic. Gone. I’m sorry.

Everything around you went blurry, all the sounds muffled as those words echoed through your head until they finally sunk in. You weren’t too sure when it was that the tears started streaming down your face or when the officer left.

Eventually though, you looked up to find Bobby in the same state you were sure you were in. You didn’t really process your movements either as the two of you moved closer together. What came next was the shocking realization that you were all each other had left. That was it. Alex and Reggie and Luke, your boys, were gone. And there was no changing that.

“I feel like I’ve been wearing this for years now.” Bobby muttered as he picked at the black fabric of his suit. It was the third time now that the two of you found yourselves in this position. Sitting on the floor outside the garage, the door shut tight, in black clothes.

The instruments inside sat untouched now. The space that had been filled with music and laughter and unbelievable amounts of joy just a short while back was silent now, something that at one point you didn’t think was possible.

“I hate it.”

It wasn’t clear whether you meant the black clothes or how things had turned out or just the feeling of something missing that seemed like it would never go away. Maybe it was a terrible concoction of all of three.

“Yeah,” Bobby nodded and let his head fall back against the garage door, trying his hardest to stop silently crying for what felt like the thousandth time that day. “Me too.”

Two months later you sat with Bobby at a café that had opened not too long ago. The songbook you and Luke had once shared sat unopened in front of you. It was the first time you’d actually accepted it from him.

He had found it with Luke’s things after finally working up the courage to go back into the garage two weeks after he started seeing his therapist. The last time he tried giving it to you you’d given it back with tears and shaking hands insisting you couldn’t take it. You’d made progress though, no matter how small, and that was a huge thing.

“You should come with me next week.” Bobby finally broke the silence, looking up from where he’d been staring at the table but still tapping his feet on the floor.

“To see your therapist?” You were grateful for the interruption, thoughts already running rampant in your head at the sight of the songbook.

“Yeah. I told her about you, how we were -” He paused then as the memory flashed in his head for a second. He breathed in deeply then exhaled slowly as he reached for his cup of tea. “How we found out about Reggie, Luke, and Alex together. How close we all were, how the two of us still are. She said you were free to join for a session if you wanted.”

“I’ll think about it.” You told him honestly as you nodded, folding your arms in front of you so the songbook was out of sight.

“Good.” Bobby leaned forward then, turning his gaze back to the top of the table once more as he debated whether or not to say anything. Ultimately he did. “Thanks.”

You looked at him then, head tipping to the side as you studied him for a moment. “For what?”

“For being here. Through everything.”

You were positive then that no matter what happened from that moment on Bobby was always going to be someone who you knew would be there for you, just as you were always going to be there for him.

The smile you gave him was gentle, reassuring in a way you knew he needed at the moment. “Of course.”

“You bring that with you every time you come see me.”

“I take it with me everywhere, honestly,” You admitted, noticing the way Dr. Crystal nodded a bit before leaning forward.

“Can I?” She asked as she motioned towards the songbook just barely peeking out of your bag. You nodded and handed it to her, watching closely as she flipped through it carefully. She noticed. “Why do you think you carry it with you?”

“I think -” You gave a sigh as you started fiddling with the hem of your shirt. There was no doubt that she already knew the answer, and she knew that you probably did too. The couple of sessions you had attended with Bobby helped a lot and you’d been seeing her on your own for almost three months now. “Cause it was Luke’s. It was ours and -”

When you didn’t continue she shut the songbook and set it on the table between the two of you, gently sliding it in your direction once more. “It’s what still connects you to him.”

“It’s just - If I open it and - and look at everything in there it just reminds me that that’s all I have left of him and Alex and Reggie. If I open it and read those songs it feels like when I close it they’ll be gone.” You surprised yourself with your own words. One of the things you had yet to decipher in the last couple of months was if Dr. Crystal’s silence was a good thing or not.

“That’s not true, though. You have your memories of them. They’re still there in you and in Bobby. You may have lost Luke and Reggie and Alex but you still have him and Rose.” She spoke honestly as she glanced at her watch. You knew what that meant and so you reached for the book and returned it to its usual place in your bag. “I think it's a good idea to try and look through the songbook, Y/N. It might make it easier if you had someone there with you.”

“I’ll -” You sighed as you stood from your seat and then finally nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

Three days later you once again sat with Bobby, this time in the living room of your otherwise silent and empty house. It was usually that way now. Your parents still walked on eggshells around you, not too sure when it would be acceptable to stop.

“Did you ever look through it?” You asked as you turned on the couch, the still closed songbook now on your lap. He had promised to be there with you when you opened it and he was.

“I did,” Bobby admitted, turning just as you had. “When I first found it an-and before I gave it to you.”

You nodded once before looking down at the cover of the songbook. Then quickly before you could change your mind you opened it.

The first sight you were met with was your name in Luke’s handwriting on the front cover, his own name right underneath it. You’d been expecting it but it still caught you off guard. Then you saw the song lyrics on the first page and broke down completely.

It was a page full of scribbles and smudges and crossed out words. Your handwriting and his mixed together in a way that didn’t quite make sense but that held memories only you had shared with him. A tear fell onto the page and you quickly dabbed it away when you saw the ink start to run, leaving behind a spot of paper crinkling in on itself.

You only made it through a couple pages before you stopped paying attention to the words, soft cries bouncing against the walls. Bobby took the notebook from your hands carefully, sniffling once and wiping the tears out of his own eyes.

“He, uh,” He flipped open to the last dogeared page, one near the very back. That one, like the others, was covered in smudges of lines that had been erased and written several times over. Lines that were erased and never finished. “Luke was writing this for you. Started it the night you guys-”

Bobby stopped the moment he noticed you shut your eyes tightly and he knew you were remembering that day. He quickly shook his head, his own thoughts going back to that day.

He’d walked into the garage late that night and had found Luke hunched over the notebook just as he had dozens of times before. Unlike the other times, though, his face was twisted into deep concentration as he stopped every few seconds to think. When he finally let him read what he had been working on he wasn’t at all surprised by what he found on the pages.

“You have to know he wasn’t mad at you,” Bobby shut the songbook once more after reading through that same list and looked at you once more. There was a different sort of heartache painted on your face and it pained him to look at it. He did it anyway though, you deserved as much.

“How do you know that though?”

“Because he never was. He never got angry at you ever but especially not that night. He wanted to stop by your place the night of the sh- of the show. But we -” He sighed then and his head fell, eyes shutting tight as he once again recalled every single event the night of the Orpheum show. He’d replayed it dozens of times over, wishing more than anything that he could go back and change it all.

Then Bobby caught sight of the tears streaming down your face once more and without thinking he wrapped you in as comforting a hug as he could muster. It took a few moments before he realized it was the first time since before the show that he was doing so. Even the simple action reminded him too much of the friends, brothers really, that he’d lost.

But they were gone. They were gone and you were here. You were right there beside him and you needed him. “We ran out of time.”

The silence hung heavy between the two of you. The feeling you felt, though, was anything but. It was a strange one that almost made you feel that despite everything you’d gone through the last few months you’d be okay as long as you had more moments like these.

You thought of the boys then. Of messing around with Reggie and late night talks with Alex. And of Luke. Your Luke who you wanted to say so many things to but couldn’t anymore.

“We did, didn’t we?”

It was the day before your next appointment with Dr. Crystal that you sat alone in your room. This time though, you were surrounded by old sheets covered in lyrics and notes written on various scraps of paper. Some of them were in your handwriting, sure, but it also included some in Luke’s. His and Reggie’s and Alex’s and Bobby’s.

The last few days had been spent reading all those old notes and the songs filling the majority of the songbook. You’d been trying to work up the courage to finally look at the one Luke had been working on. The one supposedly meant for you.

With a deep sigh you finally opened the cover and flipped to the page you’d been avoiding until that moment.

The first thing you saw was a single line at the top of the left page.

I hope you know for you I'd sacrifice to make this right

What quickly drew your attention though was the letters bigger than anything else on the page. You’d spent ages mastering the art of reading Luke’s handwriting and you could immediately tell he’d written and rewritten it until it was as neat as he could manage.

I wish I could've made you stay and I'm the only one to blame. I know that it's a little too late. This is everything I didn't say.

The last phrase had been written over a couple times and underlined. Right underneath it though was a list paired with bits and pieces of lyrics.

All the songs that we wrote

1. We’ve written so many things together and I can’t imagine doing this without you. You always let me ramble on, help me gather it all together in a way I can’t on my own.

All the wrongs that I hoped would erase from your memory.

2. For some reason you always forgive me. Whether it was making you late or getting us in trouble or some stupid fight we had. This is different and I don’t know what’s going to happen but you have to know I’m sorry.

Holding onto a broken and empty heart.

3. I could’ve done better. I know that. All I can think of is all the times you talked to me. All the times you trusted me. And I hate that I told you I’d be there for you and I wasn’t always. I’m so sorry, Y/N.

Flowers I should’ve bought, all the hours I lost. Wish I could bring it back to the start.

4. I needed to say all of this sooner. I know that. I took what we have for granted and god I just want you here with me again.

The amount of time that passed was unclear. All you did was read the words over and over again until you practically had them memorized, burned into even the deepest parts of your brain. At some point you registered the stiff feeling of dry tears on your cheeks and it was then that you reached for a pencil.

Your hands shook as you brought the songbook onto your lap and leaned over the page. The letters came out wobbly, just barely legible, as your breathing picked up faster than you would’ve liked.

The moment the words were on the page, though, it felt like a weight was finally being lifted off of your shoulders. Written in your handwriting right on the opposite side of Luke’s were the same words he’d written months before you.

Everything I Didn’t Say

Tags

Everything: @meangirlsx @theolivekiddo @dream-a-little-bigger-x @s-h-a-d-o-w-s

To the following, you guys had mentioned wanting to be added to taglists on this post but by all means please feel more than free to let me know if you wanna be removed, I won’t mind!: @n0wornever @calamitykaty @hellophantoms @jaskiers-sweetkiss @funsizearsonist @crybabyddl

message me/shoot me an ask if you’d like to be added/removed

#hhhh i hate doing tags cause i'm bad at it here we go #jatpx5sos #luke patterson #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson x reader #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #jatp fanfiction #julie and the phantoms fanfic #julie and the phantoms x reader #julie and the phantoms imagine #jatp fanfic #jatp x reader #jatp imagine #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson fanfiction #luke patterson fanfic

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lemon-face-kid · 4 years ago

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Of Course, My Love

Pairing: James Potter x female! ravenclaw! reader

Summary: Y/n has a panic attack at a party and James helps calm her down.

Warnings: PANIC ATTACKS, SENSORY OVERLOADS, mentions of “getting handsy”(it’s none of the main characters, they’re not even named), my writing

Word Count: 1,338

A/N: *This is based off of my personal experience with panic attacks. If you don’t relate with this that’s okay, everyone is different* So this is my first james x reader fic I’ve ever written. It’s also the longest fic I’ve ever written so I hope you enjoy it. I’m well aware the title is awful, I know using the last line as the title is cliche but I honestly did not know what to put. Also I don’t think anyone knows what Pandora Lovegood’s maiden name was so that’s who it’s referring to when it says “Pandora” and she’s in ravenclaw because I want her to be. And finally, happy birthday to the man I simp over who is technically old enough to be my grandfather.

Y/n should have known she would regret going to a Gryffindor party. Everyone knew that they got wild and tonight was no exception. One might argue it was worse than normal tonight. A birthday party for the house’s star chaser was no small ordeal.

Y/n didn’t know why she came. She was never one for parties. All the people and loud noises made her anxious. However, for some reason she decided to drag herself to this party in particular. Y/n and James weren’t necessarily close. They both had a mutual friend in Remus and they made up the majority of the Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw quidditch rivalry. Overall, James was nice to her and she guessed they would be considered friends.

“Y/n! Come dance with us!,” Sirius called from the top of a table, where he and James were making fools of themselves.

She shook her head no, but did decide to get up from the sofa she was sitting on. The two Hufflepuffs next to her were getting quite handsy and Y/n decided it would be best to get out of their way.

Remus was standing by the staircase talking to Lily, and Y/n felt like that would be a safe place to be. Lily caught her eye and waved, yelling something Y/n couldn’t hear.

Wading her way through the crowd, she pressed up against dozens of people and tried her best to control her nerves. Being in such close proximity to so many people made her want to run out of the room as fast as she could.

“So, how’s the party?,” Lily shouted over the music, which had somehow gotten louder.

Y/n wanted to answer, but it was too much. She couldn’t force the words out of her mouth. Suddenly everything was too loud for her to function. There were too many people there. She wanted it all to go away. She quickly pulled her hands up to her ears to block the noise. Before she could stop it, the tears welled in her eyes and the hyperventilating started. She felt like crawling in a ball and hiding forever. She needed it to stop.

“Y/n? Are you alright?”

She couldn’t tell who asked, but she quickly nodded her head before turning on her heel and rushing towards the door.

Once in the hallway, Y/n dropped to the floor and started crying. She tried taking deep breaths, but only cried harder. Vaguely, she heard footsteps beside her.

“Y/n?” It was James. He crouched down beside Y/n and tried to meet her eyes. She buried her head further into her arms, which rested on her knees.

“Breathe with me okay? Deep breaths in, deep breaths out.” He murmured these small instructions to her for the next few minutes, until she was breathing at a normal rate. Tears were still streaming from Y/n’s eyes, though.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, love. Can I touch you? Just nod your head yes or no for me?,” he asked. Love? That was new.

Y/n lifted her head and nodded yes, still quivering. James immediately wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her into his chest.

“Is this alright?,” James whispered into her ear, scared to upset her again. Y/n said yes softly, still not completely trusting her voice.

As they sat there, James started to hum a song he knew Y/n liked. The sound soothed her, and soon her tears dried up leaving only small sniffles behind.

Eventually, James came to the end of all the songs he knew, and glanced down a Y/n. At some point in time she had fallen asleep, and James could feel her breaths against his skin. He could have stayed like forever, but decided it would be best to get Y/n to bed. He tried to stand up as steadily as he could, scared he would wake the sleeping girl in his arms. James raised to his full height and set off towards the Ravenclaw tower.

When he reached it he had the luck of running into Pandora, who gladly answered the riddle for him and told him where Y/n’s dorm was.

James stepped inside and placed Y/n on the bed that had a picture of her and Remus next to it. He secretly wished he could have a picture with Y/n next to his bed. James stepped back and looked around awkwardly. Y/n’s roommates weren’t there and he was unsure of what to do next.

“James?”

The sound of Y/n’s voice interrupted his thoughts and he knelt down beside her.

“Are you feeling better? Is there anything I can get you?,” James asked intently.

“I’m feeling much better, thank you. I’ll probably change my clothes and go to bed now.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll be going now.”

“Wait! I- um…”

James raised an eyebrow, unsure of what Y/n needed.

“Would- would you stay? Here? With me?”

Y/n turned away, not wanting to meet James’ eyes.

“Yes, of course. Anything I can do to help, love.”

He called her love again, and this time Y/n was in a better mental state to think about it. Was he calling her that because they were friends? Or did it mean something? She wasn’t sure.

They fumbled around for a few moments before Y/n went to the bathroom to change. When she came out, James was sitting on the edge of her bed, nervously drumming his fingers on his leg. Y/n slipped under the silk sheets and tried to relax, but James was staring at her.

She shouldn’t have asked him to stay. It was a stupid idea. The whole situation was awkward. But Y/n knew she didn’t want to be alone. She trusted James. He had held her in his arms earlier in the evening. She didn’t think he would mind if they slept together. Plus he looked uncomfortable.

“You can get under the covers and sleep, you know?”

“Right, sorry, I didn’t know if that would be acceptable.”

James laid down and pulled the blankets back up over them. Y/n rested her head under his chin and James draped his arm over her.

“Y’know, I’m sorry if you wanted Remus or Lily to come out and talk to you after you left the party. I just have helped Sirius through several panic attacks, and thought I might be a better help than them,” James blurted out, nervous he had overstepped.

“No James, it’s fine. You helped a lot. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for ruining your birthday.”

Y/n felt awful that she hadn’t thought of it before. She was the reason he spent more time on the floor in a hallway than at his own party.

“No, love, don’t fret about it. I’d rather be here with you anyway.” James spoke softly into Y/n’s ear, not wanting her to worry anymore.

“Why do you keep calling me love?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I won’t call you that if it bothers you.”

“No, it doesn’t bother me. I just wondered why you started to call me that.”

James knew he would have to tell her. But would it ruin their friendship? A small part of him dared hope she might return his feelings.

“I fancy you.”

He spoke so low Y/n almost didn’t hear him.

“You do?”

“Yes. I’m sorry if I rui-

“No. You didn’t ruin anything,” Y/n cut him off with a smile.

James let out a sigh of relief.

“That’s good to know,” he said grinning. “Want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?”

“Sure, we can on Sunday after Ravenclaw beats Gryffindor on Saturday.”

“Don’t speak so soon, Y/n.”

The pair spent the next few minutes in silence, relishing in each other’s presence.

“James? Will you hum for me again?”

He tilted his head down to kiss the top of Y/n’s.

“Of course, my love.”

#james potter x reader #james potter #james potter x ravenclaw #james potter x ravenclaw! reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you

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all1e23 · 5 years ago

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Chocolate Dipped

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Steve has finally had enough of these two idiots.

Warnings: Angsty stuff.

A/N: I am feeling better! Just in time to make you guys cry for Christmas. This is in Steve’s POV at the start. I think I grabbed everyon’s tags but I was pretty sick this week. If I forgot to add you please shoot me an ask and I’ll correct it today. Also, half edited. I got lazy. lol If you like it come sing me a song, write me a story or scream at me! This is the sixth part of my series Sugary Sweet. Make sure you catch up!

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!***

“You goin’ home tonight, buck?”

Steve hung around the doorway to Bucky’s office, hovering like a worried parent. The small room was lived in. Two weeks have passed since they attended Stark’s gala, and Bucky made it a point to work himself to death every single day since. There were cartons upon cartons of takeout, guest pillows from his penthouse on the leather couch that sat under the large windows on the south wall, and Steve caught Bucky wearing the same white button-up three days in a row.

Bucky was avoiding something, and Steve had a decent idea of what that ‘something’ was.

“Hm?” Bucky mumbled, barely looking up from his computer as he did. “Uh, no. Not tonight. I want to get this done for the Danvers account.”

Steve sighed as he spun his keys around his fingers, debating how far he could push this before he drove Bucky away.

“We have people who do that now, Buck. Go home and get some sleep. Wash your hair.”

To Steve’s delight, Bucky looked up, humor lighting up his eyes and smile curling up the corners of his mouth.

“You sayin’ I look bad, Stevie?”

Steve forced through his concern long enough to grin.

“I’m saying you haven’t been home since you broke up with Y/n. Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

Bucky’s smile fell the moment Steve said her name, and his eyes fell back on his computer. He wasn’t going to talk about Y/n or their arrangement. There was nothing to say. It was never a real relationship as much as Bucky wanted it to be, so there was no reason to treat it as such.

“I don’t have anything to say about it. There was no break-up. It was a temporary situation, and it’s passed. Let’s all move on with our lives.”

“Bullshit.”

“Goodnight, Steven.”

The quiet tug of the door and the hitch of the latch echoes in Bucky’s empty office, leaving him alone in the darkened building. He knew Steve was trying to help, but Steve wasn’t. Bucky didn’t need to be babysat. He needed to go back to that coffee shop, pay for your coffee, and walk away before he let his heart fall yours. Yeah, he knew sulking in his office wasn’t going to fix anything, but he couldn’t face going home. Your toothbrush was still hanging next to his, that drawer in his dresser was full of your clothes, and there was the picture of the two of you resting on the nightstand. Taking down the pictures in his office was bad enough; at least here, the sheets didn’t smell like you.

It has been weeks when the hell was he going to get over you?

Bucky really hoped it would be soon.

The bar was packed. No stool was empty, and the floor was full of kids half his age waiting for what was probably their first beer. Steve groaned. Dealing with grumpy Bucky and now this was completely unfair. The loud cheering made Steve wince as he pushed towards the middle of the crowd, it was hard to see through the crowd of twenty-year-olds, and he has never felt quite as old as he did at that moment.

When did he become this grumpy old man? He blamed Bucky.

Steve caught his wife’s whistle and grinned when he spotted her in one of those half booths that no one actually enjoys sitting at.

“How is he?”

Steve sighed and placed a kiss on her cheek as he squeezed into the seat next to her. That was a loaded question. He gripped his wife’s legs and pulled them over his lap, tucking her under his arm. Steve was going to make the most of the dollhouse-sized booth.

“He’s… a mess. I know he misses her, but he won’t talk about it. I’m not sure what happened, but I don’t think it was a clean break like he’s making it sound.”

“Do you think she left him?”

He shook his head.

No, Steve knew Bucky well enough to know guilt when he saw it.

“I think Bucky didn’t speak up when he should have is what I think, and maybe she got tired of waiting to be more than a game.”

Steve took a sip of Sharon’s red wine and made a face. She grinned and ran her fingers through his bread, scratching gently until he hummed softly and leaned into her touch.

“Well, I think,” Sharon whispered, watching the sleepy smile tug at Steve’s lips. “We are stuck sitting at the bar. The dining room is full of what appears to be teenagers. Somehow when we weren't looking, we became the oldest people in the room. It's a tiny booth or share a table with strangers.”

“That’s alright. We can stay right here.” Steve nudged her chin up with two fingers and smiled. “I like being stuck with you.”

“You think that sweet talk is going to get you somewhere?”

“Pretty confident. Bucky taught me all I know."

Steve grinned and pecked her lips.

A loud voice interrupted Steve’s train of thought and he couldn't help but listen in.

“Look, if fancy man bun can’t see how awesome you are, then you don’t need to waste your time on him.” Steve tried to fight his smile. Whoever that was, he wouldn’t mind sharing a table with them.

“But… I think I love him.”

Steve froze when he heard your voice, and he subtly peeked over his shoulder to find you sitting at a table nearby. You weren’t alone. There was a blond guy he didn’t know, his arm was around your redheaded friend that scared the life out of him sometimes, Nat he was pretty sure, and another red-haired woman he didn’t know. He turned back around before you caught him spying, and he tried to listen over the boisterous shouts and loud, obnoxious music.

This was getting ridiculous. He was getting too old to go to places like this.

“And that sucks,” The guy continued."He’s shit for dragging you along because he knew how you felt. Everyone knew. I’m not saying marry Johnny Lightning--”

You were talking about Bucky.

“Storm.”

“Storm. Whatever. I’m not saying marry him, but it will help take your mind off the asshole who broke your heart.”

“First of all, I only know his name. I don’t have his number because I don’t want to go out with him, Clint. I don’t want anyone else. Can we just stop talking about this, please? It’s bad enough you drug me out of my nice warm bed and made come here. Please stop talking about Bucky.”

“I wasn’t going to let you hide in bed for the rest of your life,” The woman -- Nat, said with a hint of venom in her voice. “I wish you would have talked to him like I told you to. Something is off about this whole thing.”

“I didn’t have time! Things were over before I realized they were.”

“You could go talk to him now?”

“What’s the point? He’s obviously done with whatever we were. I haven’t heard from him in days.”

Bucky was the one that broke up with you? Steve hadn’t expected that, but perhaps he should have.

Steve fidgeted enough to wiggle his phone out of his pocket, silently quieting Sharon before she could make a fuss and draw your attention. He snapped a picture over his shoulder, even though he shouldn’t. You were staring at rose necklace Bucky gave you in Boston while your friends chatted amongst themselves, your eyes were red and puffy like you had been crying non-stop for days. You looked incredibly lonely for someone sitting in the middle of a crowded bar and surrounded by friends.

He dropped the image into a message and sent it off to Bucky.

“I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

Steve placed a kiss on Sharon’s head and slid out of the booth, smiling at her confusion. He walked straight to your table and stopped next to you, making a point to get his shoes and black dress pants in your line of vision. You looked up, and your fingers slipped off the necklace, your mouth fell open and stuttered incoherently.

“Y/n, I think we should talk.”

-----------------------

Across town, Bucky sat in his office, still sitting at his desk hours after Steve left him only now he was staring at his phone instead of his computer. Bucky hasn’t been able to look away from the damn thing since Steve’s text came in over twenty minutes ago. You looked good. Great. A little sad, maybe, but beautiful. He read Steve’s words one more time, and his heart clenched again.

She doesn’t look like someone who moved on. I think you left a few things out of the story.

So he did leave some things out. It was his right to leave out whatever he wanted to. Steve didn’t need to know why things didn’t work out. It wouldn’t change the outcome.

“Hi.”

Bucky’s fingers shook at the sound of your voice, so much so he dropped his phone back onto his desk. You stood in the doorway to his office, fidgeting and uncomfortable. You were still in that little black dress you were wearing in the photo, so you must have come straight from the bar. Bucky slowly leaned back in his chair, his eyes glued to yours.

“Hi… what are you doing here? How did you get in?”

You looked guilty, and Bucky had to fight back a grin.

“Steve gave me his ID.”

You held up a little white card as an explanation and gave him that same shy, nervous smile you gave him when he offered to pay for your coffee all those months ago. Steve could never just mind his own damn business. Nosy little punk.

Bucky should probably thank him for meddling this one time -- depending on how the rest of this night goes.

“Of course, he did.”

You took a few steps in, just enough that you could place the card on Bucky’s desk a keep your distance. Bucky watched your eyes scan his desk for your missing pictures, and he wanted to jump in and tell you they were on the bookshelf behind him now. They were hard to look at it all the time now. He saw relief flood you as you spotted them.

He still didn’t understand why you were here.

“Is everything okay, sweet girl?”

The name just slipped out. Bucky hadn’t meant it to. You weren’t… well, you weren’t anything anymore, and he didn’t have a right to call you pet names, but he couldn’t help it. Bucky wanted to call his sweet girl forever. Would have, too, if only the stars had aligned the way Bucky had wanted.

Bucky watched you as hesitated. You took a step forward and then stopped as if you were trying to decide where to go, towards him or out the door. He saw the conflict in your eyes as you fought with yourself, and then you stood up taller with your shoulders squared, having made your choice. You strode towards Bucky with determination, walking around his desk, and Bucky pushed off from his feet, letting his chair roll back enough to give you the space you needed-- wanted.

He hoped it was what you wanted.

Bucky didn’t move or make a sound. Just held his breath and waited.

You sank down on his lap, straddling his waist as you’ve done during the hundreds of times you’ve visited him in his office. Bucky waited until you settled comfortably, and his hands came up to wrap around you and rest against your backside. Your own find their favorite spot tangled in his hair, and the tears catching in your lashes were caught right away.

It took every ounce of strength he had not to lean in and kiss those tears away.

“You left.” You whimpered. “Just disappeared and stopped talking to me like we were never… something.”

Bucky’s heart twisted into something dark and ugly. He hadn’t thought there was much to say. Things had been off since he came home from Boston, and then that boy, he didn’t think there was anything left after that.

“I thought--” Bucky’s arms tightened around you, fingers pressed into your skin as he forced himself to admit what he was scared of since he first met you -- you didn’t really want him.

“I thought maybe you liked that kid from the gala. He's closer to your age and… he could be someone who wants the same things you want. I didn’t want you to feel like you were stuck with me if you didn’t want-- if this was temporary. I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“No, that’s not what I want.”

Bucky swiped his thumb under your right eye, wiping away the tears he could no longer stand to see. He didn’t know how to ask if you loved him or how to tell you that he wanted more, but this? He knew this. Bucky’s spent the last eight months asking you want you wanted and doing everything he could to give it to you.

He could do this.

“What do you want, babygirl? Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”

There was only one thing you wanted.

“I want you to love me,” you choked out in a desperate, hopeless plea. “I want you to love me like I love you. I want you to be in love with me.”

“Oh, baby.”

Bucky cupped the back of your neck and let the other rest on your back, firmly holding you in place on his lap. This was something he should have said months ago.

“I’ve been in love with you for months. Maybe since I bought you that first cup of coffee and you looked at me with those sweet lips and pouty eyes. You’ve had my love, sweet girl.”

You sniffed and took a breath, your bottom lip still trembling as you twisted over his words.

“But-- I, I heard you telling you Sharon you didn’t want a future with me.”

Bucky’s nose crinkled, and his brow furrowed. “What? What are you talkin’ about, baby?”

“In Boston. That night you were drinking at the bar. I came down to… to see you, and you said you didn’t want a family right now and not with me.”

Bucky was smiling, and he could tell by your pout you were about to jump off his lap because of it. He couldn’t help it. This was good. The best news he has heard in weeks. This was all because he was an idiot, and he could fix that. He could stop being an idiot. Bucky took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around your waist, letting the chair lean back all the way, so you fell against his chest, and your feet came off the floor just enough to make you unstable if you tried to get up on your own.

He needed you to stay put a little longer, and if you wanted to leave after he said his peace, he would let you go.

"Did you hear what I said after that?”

“No," you squeaked. “I ran back up to our-- your room.”

“Our room.” He corrected.

"Our room." You amended. "Then you came up and we-- Well, we made-- we..."

Bucky didn't need you to say anymore. He remembered. Bucky absolutely remembered making love to you. He held you against him and carefully explained what really happened that night.

“I did say that, but that wasn’t what I meant. It came out all wrong, and you'll be happy to know Steve and Sam would beat my ass to defend you without a second thought. What I meant and what I explained to them that night was I wanted to wait until you were ready for all that because if I’m going to do all that? Get married and have kids; I only want to do it with you.”

You groaned and thumped your head against his chest. “Why is Nat always right? She said you didn’t mean it. That it was a mistake.”

Bucky chuckled quietly. His fingers gently rubbed at your scalp, and his lips found your skin, pressing soft kisses to your temple. “Probably because she could see it written on my face. According to Sam, I look like a lovesick idiot every time you’re near me.”

Forcing yourself to lift your head, you met his eyes and whispered,” Bucky, I do love you, and I don’t want that dumb bellhop from Boston or any other guy. You’re all I want, but I’m not ready to get married right now. I know you are, and if you want all that right now-- I don’t know, okay? I graduate in May, and then I want to work and-- and --I don’t think I can--”

Bucky’s thumb settled over your lips, stopping your panic.

“I know, and that’s why I said I wanted to wait. Let you find your footing in a new job and get yourself settled there before we even talk about it. I wanted to tell you all this in Boston. Tell you how much you mean to me. How you’re all, I think about, every damn day and the nights that I’m not with you are like torture.”

Your eyes twinkled with someone Bucky didn’t like, and his cheeks warmed right away.

“So that was the whole picnic thing? And renting out the skywalk?”

Bucky nodded sheepishly.

“I might have chickened out. I was worried you didn’t feel the same, and I wasn’t ready to lose you.”

One thing was certain; you were made for each other. You were both idiots.

“So, you do see a future with me?” You asked, nerves showing through your shaky voice. You needed to be sure. You couldn’t go through all that again.

“You weren’t just changing the subject with sex every time?”

Bucky barked out a laugh, the chair under you shaking from the force of it. You pursed your lips. He didn’t have to laugh so hard. It was a serious question. Bucky gave your hip an apologetic squeeze and shook his head.

“No, I didn’t mean to do that. It was incredibly sexy to hear you say you only wanted... me. You could have asked me for anything, and you just wanted me. I like that."

“It’s true, though. I don’t want any of that other stuff. You’re the only thing I want, Buck.”

Bucky’s eyes darkened, and his hand slipped under the hemline of your dress. “Somethin’ you want… right now?”

Your slender fingers gripped his wrist, and you shook your head. “Nope. What I want right now is to get you home, shower, and maybe sleep till late tomorrow. I haven’t-- I haven’t been sleeping great lately.”

The confession made Bucky remember how terrible he probably looked from his own sleeping habits over the past eighteen days. The last he saw in the bathroom mirror, the dark circles under his eyes, were getting pretty hard to hide. His beard was unkempt and thick and Steve wasn’t wrong about needing to wash his hair. He raised the arm you were still clutching and pressed a kiss to your fingers.

“This how it’s going to work from now on? Just goin’ tell me what to do all the time?”

“Yep. That’s how it works when I’m your girlfriend.”

Your eyes widen dramatically, and Bucky grins.

“I am… I mean, it’s okay I said that, right?”

“Well, you are my girl.”

Bucky can feel your tension deflate, and he really likes the smile on your face.

“Mmm, and you’re my sugar. My sweet fella.”

#sugardaddy!bucky x reader #sugar daddy!bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #alternate universe #sugar daddy AU

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hstyleshoney · 4 years ago

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Stay With Me - part one

AU friends with benefits but things get complicated, like they always do

word count: around 8.3K // angst, alcohol consumption, language

A/N: Hiiiiii! So, back in September I posted a preview kinda thing to a fic I was just casually writing and now I have finally finished it! Took a while but I’ve been going through some shit but now it’s done! It’s gonna be a two part thing (I think) because it turned out way longer than I first expected, and this part is still so long, woops. It’s the first thing I’ve written in YEARS so please be nice haha. (Also, English is not my first language so I’m sorry if some grammar is wrong. I’ve proofread it many times but it could still be bit off in some places.)

AND please let me know if you liked it and if I should post part 2 as well. Feedback is so so so appreciated because it’s been sooooooooo long since I posted anything and I’m scared hahah anyways..!

Hope you like it!

His lips were hot against her skin when he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

“Your place or mine tonight?”

She smiled to herself and her heart skipped a beat when she felt his warm body press against her back. The music was loud around the two of them and she could hardly hear herself think, yet his voice was clear as day. She turned to look at him and was met by his familiar warm grin as he looked right back.

“What makes you think I’ll be going home with you tonight?” she teased.

He snorted and raised his eyebrows, and she had to bite down on the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from smiling too much.

“Well, love” he started and spun her around so he could place his hands on her hips. She felt her cheeks flush under his stare as he pulled her even closer to him. He smelled like beer and tequila mixed with that cologne she loved so much. Her knees weakened and he smirked. “I think we both know you are.”

He was right.

But she wasn’t going to let him have that.

“It’s awfully bold of you to assume such a thing, Mr. Styles.”

“Is it though?” He was still smirking and she felt her knees weaken even more as his tongue poked out to wet his pink lips. Her heart was beating so hard she was sure he would’ve heard it if it wasn’t for the loud music. Sweaty bodies kept bumping into the two of them on the overcrowded dance floor, which normally she couldn’t stand, but she was drunk. Very drunk and she was hungry and tired... and also in a huge need of a wee.

However, now Harry was standing in front of her.

So needless to say nothing else really mattered anymore.

His mere presence made her forget about all the people around them and suddenly her bladder didn’t seem so full after all. That’s the effect he had on her and he knew it. With his soft brown hair that curled so pretty at the tips, his smooth skin and green eyes; there was no way she wasn’t going home with him again tonight. He was the best thing she had ever laid her eyes on and he also wanted to take her home.

So who was she to say no?

“Yours then,” she replied and tried to not sound too eager. Harry squeezed her hips again as she finally confirmed they would indeed go home with one other again and pulled her even closer into him. His chest pressed against hers and she swore she could feel his heartbeat against hers.

“See that wasn’t so hard to say, was it?” She rolled her eyes as she noticed his smug grin and as much as it pained her to do; she pushed him off, pointing a finger into his chest.

“We’re stopping to buy fries on the way though... and you’re paying!”

Harry laughed and agreed, but not before adding; “I can give you something a lot better than fries once we get back.”

And well… she didn’t disagree.

She wasn’t entirely sure when this thing between the two of them started, or how it started even. It was just one of those things that happened one night. Harry first came into her life when her flatmate Louisa started dating his mate Tom during their first year of uni.

The first time she met him they didn’t really speak to each other. It had really just been a case of her admiring him from afar as he was approached by a handful of women at the student bar. She thought he was probably the prettiest guy she had ever laid her eyes on and thought to herself that he was just way too cool to ever notice her.

It was obvious from the start, by just watching him, that he had an aura around him that drew everyone in. People, both boys and girls, flooded around him wherever he went. He was always the center of attention and she understood why. Because not only was he the prettiest guy she had ever seen, he was also one of the nicest guys she had ever met. At first she had just assumed he’d be an arsehole because to be fair she had never really met a guy that got as much attention as him that wasn’t one.

However, as Louias’s and Tom’s relationship grew more serious; the more all of them hung out and she started talking to him rather than just staring from afar. She got to know him and even though the two of them were quite different from each other, they still became good friends.

While she was more of a typical girly girl who enjoyed spending a little too much money on overpriced makeup palettes and listened to whatever songs were in the top list that week Harry was a little more into old school music, bringing up bands and songs she had never heard of before. He did all his shopping at different thrift shops. He wore weird shirts and painted his nails without caring what anyone else thought while she couldn’t even leave her house without checking with all her roommates at least three times if her outfit was okay. She loved scrolling through Instagram. Harry didn’t even have an account.

He was interesting, alluring and cool.

She just wasn’t any of that.

She wasn’t his type and he was simply just out of her league.

Until one night.

It was at the start of their third year at uni and they were out to celebrate their friend Jax’s birthday. To make a complicated story short, there had just been a ridiculous amount of alcohol consumed and when she told everyone she was leaving Harry stood up too and announced he’d come with her, and because everyone was so drunk, the two of them included, no one thought more about it.

They left the club together. Harry got them an Uber and when it stopped outside her house he got out as well.

Kisses were shared and clothes came off and the next day she thought she was still dreaming when Harry was right there next to her when she woke up. There was no awkwardness though as they shared a cup of tea and he made them a full English breakfast to cure their hangovers.

And then they did the same thing again next weekend and it kinda just became a thing. That was three months ago now and it was still nothing they really talked about. Which was fine; she didn’t really want to talk about it. Because what was she supposed to say? Whatever was going on between them was working and she didn’t want to complicate things.

She was fine with just waking up next to him every now and again. Especially now when the nights were getting colder it was just nice to have a warm body to snuggle up to.

It was an agreement that worked well for both of them, even if she did fancy him a little it wasn’t a full-blown crush and Harry kept calling her his friend so that’s what she also settled on calling herself. She knew she wasn’t the type of girl he usually went for and that somehow made it easier to keep her feelings for him platonic. He was too cool for her anyway.

This way she just didn’t have to swipe through tinder or chat some random guy up at the bar to get laid.

Louisa kept warning her that she was going to get her heart broken but it was just sex. Amazing sex. He made her feel like no other man ever had. Harry knew just how to work her and it made her lose her breath every single time. Her whole body was on fire anytime he touched her. She didn’t want to think about getting her heart broken.

“What time is it?”

Harry’s raspy voice startled her out of her thoughts and his body vibrated against hers under the duvet as he chuckled at her reaction. His arm was slung over her waist loosely and she could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck, leaving goosebumps all over her skin.

“I dunno,” she whispered back and leaned into his touch a little more. The hair on his legs tickled her smoother ones and she could feel her skin sticking against his, but neither of them made any effort to move away from each other. It was still early though, that much she knew. The sun was barely shining in through the blinds in Harry’s bedroom.

“Hm,” he hummed and tightened his grip a little. “Can’t sleep?”

“Just thinking. “

“About…?”

“Nothing really.”

Harry hummed again but didn’t say anything else. They laid in silence while Harry circled his thumb over her stomach lightly. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. Just the two of them, tangled in each other’s naked bodies and the sheets. She could feel a hangover coming over her slowly. Her head felt heavy and throbbed painfully against the soft pillows. There was a glass of water on the bedside table tempting her but reaching out for it meant moving away from Harry and she was just way too comfortable to do so.

It wasn’t long until Harry’s soft snores filled the room again and his thumb stilled. She sighed deeply, sleep creeping over her too. They were friends. Friends that slept together and cuddled. Nothing else. Just friends.

… but she really could stay like this forever.

The next time she woke up Harry wasn’t next to her anymore and the room was a lot brighter. A weak whimper left her lips and she buried her face into the pillow; the sunlight too much for her sensitive eyes and raging headache, which only seemed to have gotten worse.

Blindly she reached out for the glass she’d spotted earlier, but instead of actually getting a hold of it it was knocked over. It landed on the floor with a soft thud and her eyes shot open at the sound. Glancing down she noticed that, thankfully, the glass hadn’t broken into a million pieces, but unfortunately there was water everywhere.

“Damn it,” she muttered and fell back, hiding her face in the pillow again. Stupid water. Stupid hangover. Stupid everything.

Her head was spinning and her body ached. This hangover was going to be rough and she cursed herself for letting Jax and Beth persuade her into taking all those shots the night before. She knew it was going to come back and bite her in the ass today. Stupid Jax. Stupid Beth. Stupid shots.

Outside the bedroom she could hear Harry roaming around in the kitchen, talking to his flatmate Isaac and every now and then he’d sing along to the music playing softly in the background. She relaxed as she listened to his voice. At least there was something good about this morning.

And it was enough to eventually get her out of bed.

She found her black underwear at the bottom of the bed and pulled them on, stepping around the water she had just spilled as she got out and made a mental note to herself to fix that mess later.

The black strap dress and oversized blazer from the night before were stern across the floor and she stared at them for a long time before deciding she wasn’t in the mood to put them back on at this time. Looking around the room she spotted something very familiar. The yellow jumper she always wore when she slept over was hung neatly over Harry’s chair by the desk, waiting for her, and she smiled to herself knowing he’d put it there for her to wear.

Always so considerate.

“Jesus, you look like absolute shit,” Isaac teased when she eventually emerged from the bedroom and into the kitchen “Wild night?”

“Fuck off,” she groaned and walked straight past him and over to the sink to pour herself a glass of water, downing it in pretty much one gulp. It spilled down her chin and onto the jumper, leaving a big wet stain, but she really couldn’t care less. Water had never tasted better.

“Ah, I’m just saying,” Isaac laughed. “You look like you got run over by a truck.”

“Feels like I was,” she admitted and slumped down on one of the chairs next to the kitchen counter. “Ugh, I’m never drinking again.”

“Ha! Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.”

The kitchen was surprisingly cold and she regretted not stealing a pair of Harry’s sweatpants before leaving his warm comfy bedroom. She let her eyes wander over to him and felt her pulse pick up. Harry was standing shirtless in the kitchen, only dressed in his regular Nike sports shorts, and she just couldn’t stop herself from staring at his tattoos and toned chest. The same chest she’d left kisses all over just hours ago and it gave her goosebumps just thinking about. He had a spatula in one of his hands and a cup of coffee in the other. As always, he was perfect and she looked like a mess. Great.

Harry smirked as he caught her staring, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Do you want some breakfast?” he asked instead.

“Please.”

A minute later he placed a plate of eggs and some toast in front of her. The smell of it made her nauseous but she also knew that if she didn’t eat anything she was going to feel a lot worse soon. She’d much rather crawl back into Harry’s bed and maybe sleep for another hour or two, preferably with him beside her.

But now she had a plate of food in front of her that Harry had made and it would be rude to at least not try to eat some. So she ate in silence while listening to Harry tell Isaac about the previous night and slowly she realized that she had a few blackouts from the night.

Shit, how much did I drink?

She really shouldn’t have taken those shots. Her mother would have lectured her for hours if she knew about the heavy party nights that sometimes occurred, having a strong belief alcohol was indeed a gift from the devil himself. Alcohol and sugar. She had lost count of the number of books her mother had given her about healthy living and mindful thinking, and she was pretty sure she was getting another one for Christmas. Harry once found her hidden stash of books she’d put in the back of her closet and begged her for one. She happily gave it to him.

Harry would probably love her mother’s rants about the dangers of alcohol and unhealthy meals she thought to herself and almost rolled her eyes. She could picture it now; Harry and her mother sharing recipes with each other that claimed your life would be twenty years longer and ganging up on her about the lack of exercise she did. What a nightmare.

Yet, she had to ignore the warm feeling in her belly at the thought of Harry getting along with her mother.

“Alright well,” Isaac announced after a while and stood up. “I gotta get to work. Fuckin’ Jake called in sick so now I gotta cover his shift at the shop.”

“Sucks mate,” Harry replied while he shoved the last piece of his toast into his mouth. “At least you’re getting some extra cash.”

“Yeah yeah, something like that,” Isaac muttered as he dropped his dirty plate into the sink. “I’ll see you guys later. Hope you feel better party girl!”

She shot him a weak smile and a nod as a thank you. Her plate of food was still half full and the cup of tea Harry had also made for her was now cold. She just couldn’t force herself to eat more. Stupid shots.

“You really do look like you got run over by a truck,” Harry chuckled when Isaac was gone and she sent him a glare. “How much did you drink? Didn’t realize you were that drunk when we left.”

“I actually have no idea. I think Jax and Beth might have poisoned me.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “That explains it.”

“Mm.“

“Can I get you anything else?”

“No, that’s okay” she told him. “Kinda just wanna go back to bed if I’m honest.”

“‘S your lucky day then,” Harry said and rose to his feet, offering his hand out to her. “Let’s go.”

She could have cried out of happiness when she finally crawled back into Harry’s comfortable bed. The sheets had never been more comforting as she pulled them up to her chin and made herself into a little cocoon. She never wanted to leave his bed ever again. “You are ridiculous.”

She peeked out at him from under the duvet and noticed him smiling down at her fondly, but his smile soon turned into a small frown. “Is that water all over the floor?”

“Oh yeah... that was me. Sorry,” she pouted.

“I repeat, you are ridiculous,” he rolled his eyes but she also knew he wasn’t upset when she noticed his little dimple.

He quickly cleaned up the mess she had created earlier and then jumped up to join her. The bed shook as he landed and she groaned as another wave of nausea washed over her. But having him next to her again made her forget all about it. He smelled so good. How did he always smell so good?

She rested her head on his shoulder as he pulled up his laptop and signed onto his Netflix account, picking the first random movie that caught his interest.

And that’s how the two of them spent the next few hours. Just laying in bed together watching random movies on Netflix with her dozing in and out of sleep for most of the time. Harry kept running his fingers through her hair, gently scratching the top of her head and it was probably the most soothing thing she had ever experienced.

Eventually, she started feeling better but made no effort to move or get up.

Not until he did.

“I’m gonna take a shower quickly,” he announced as the third movie finished. She followed him with her gaze as he got up and pulled out a pair of fresh boxers out of his drawer. Her heart beat a little extra. “You can watch something else if you want.”

“Thanks. Are you doing something later or?” she asked casually and pulled his computer onto her lap.

“Yeah, uh, I forgot I have a date actually.”

She’s pretty sure she forgot how to breathe then.

A date.

Harry had a date.

“Oh... “ is all she managed to say. Her mouth felt as dry as it did when she woke up earlier that morning and she racked her brain for something else to say. Unfortunately there was nothing. Harry stopped and looked at her.

“Is - I mean... um, is that okay?”

“What?”

She felt stupid. So utterly stupid but she just couldn’t find the words to speak. She felt weird, even though she knew he was technically only her friend and she knew they were not even close to being exclusive. But Harry was going on a date. Like a proper date. Not just hooking up after a night out. A date. With someone else.

“Are you okay with me going on a date... ?” he asked slowly, inspecting her closely and that’s when she realized she needed to say something fast.

“Yeah, no, of course!” she tried to laugh but it was more of a strange cackle coming out of her mouth rather than a laugh. Harry eyed her for another minute and she sat up. Her palms were sweaty and her cheeks hot. She felt like a bigger mess now than she had all morning. “Harry, we’re friends. Why would I care if you go on a date?”

Harry looked at her a bit startled.

“Well, because we-”

“I’m fine,” she interrupted before he could finish and cursed herself yet again for being so fucking weird. They were friends. She had no reason to not be okay with it. She knew she wasn’t his type. Of course he was going on a date with someone else. She knew this and she needed to get herself together before he wanted to talk about something related to the two of them and make things complicated. The thing between them wasn’t something they ever talked about and she refused to start doing it now. “I’m excited for you even,” she shot him the biggest fake smile she could muster. “Who is she?”

What a stupid question.

“Uh, a friend of Matt’s or something like that,” he shrugged, but he looked at her with uncertainty written all across his face; almost like he didn’t believe a single word she was saying. “I don’t know really. He set us up.”

“Cool.”

“Cool... ?”

Suddenly she doesn’t want to be in his bed anymore. For the very first time, she felt awkward sitting in front of him.

“Yeah, cool.”

“Oookay.”

Silence.

It’s uncomfortable and she knew she messed this up. Both of them were frozen in place and she had to look away from him before it was all too much. She was so aware of how her cheeks had turned into a deep color of red and she felt nauseous, only this time she knew it was not from the alcohol.

“I’m just,” Harry coughed in an attempt to break the heavy tension and she wanted nothing more than to disappear. “I’m gonna go take that shower.” He pointed awkwardly towards the door.

“Yeah, uh,” she said and tried her absolute hardest to get herself back together. To act normal. “I’m going to head home anyways I think.”

“No, you don’t-”

“It’s okay,” she interrupted him again. “Beth wanted to have pizza night and I should stop being such a lazy ass anyways. I have some studying to do before my lecture tomorrow too, soo... yeah, gonna head home.”

Harry looked at her for a moment, scanning her face after any other sign that something was wrong, but she managed to keep it together and he nodded.

“Alright, well I’ll see you around yeah?”

“Of course.”

When he left the room she let out a breath she’d been holding ever since Harry first mentioned the word ‘date’. She also realized she did not like the way she just reacted and that maybe, very possibly, Lou might have been right.

She was fucked.

For the next few days she couldn’t stop thinking about Harry and his date. She wished she could go back in time and take back everything she said; wished she would have reacted differently. It was hard to think about anything else and all she wanted to do was to go and see him and ask him all about it. How did it go? Was she nice? What did they do? Was he going to see her again? Did they kiss?

And if she hadn’t been so embarrassed about her behaviour she probably would've done so, but she had no explanation as to why she’d been so weird and she was too scared to go deeper into her own feelings and find one. So as much as she wanted to see him she was also extremely terrified to do so.

But it was really eating her up.

She couldn’t focus on anything else.

And it was strange.

Before all this, she was sure of her feelings towards Harry. Sure he was attractive, he was nice and he made her laugh, but she thought she’d managed to keep it platonic. Now she just felt weird. Everything about their arrangement felt weird, and she didn’t know what to do. Deep down she knew there wasn’t much she could actually do about it. He went on a date and she was his friend. Friends with benefits. They weren’t anything exclusive. He hadn’t done anything wrong. She told him so herself.

Still, something felt wrong.

On Thursday night their whole gang made plans to meet up for their regular quiz night down at the pub and she stood in front of her mirror for an hour, preparing herself to see him again. She changed her outfit five times and rehearsed what to say when she saw him over and over again.

Only for him to not show up.

So instead of being squished into his side all night, she was stuck between Jax and Louisa and she found herself missing him. She didn’t even have to ask to know he was on another date, yet when Isaac confirmed it later she felt her heart drop down to her stomach.

Louisa glanced over at her when Isaac told them and she forced a smile, not ready to let anyone know about the weird feeling in her chest. Louisa also tried to bring it up on their way home, but she brushed it off with the same thing she always did.

“We’re just friends.”

But once she was home in bed it was harder to act like nothing was troubling her. Harry was out on another date and it shouldn’t be bothering her but it did. It bothered her a lot. He should’ve been right there with her, laughing along at their friends' jokes all night and then suggest coming back home with her.

Now he just wasn't and it felt wrong. It was only three months ago that he came home with her for the first time but somehow it wasn’t until now she realized that she may have gotten a little too used to it.

It was so stupid the whole thing. Like ridiculously so.

She knew from the first night that she would never be more than a few drunken nights to him. That his touch wasn’t hers to keep. It belonged to someone else. So why did it feel so weird now?

On Friday night, Beth invited a few people over from uni to their place for a game night and some wine. She joined them but decided to stay away from the wine. They played monopoly for most of the evening while gossiping about everyone they knew. It was nice. It was fun. She won at monopoly. But most importantly it helped her to not worry about what Harry was doing or who he was seeing. It felt like her brain got a long awaited break from everything and she slept better that night than she had all week.

It was on Saturday it all came crashing down.

They were all going out. The whole gang. As always everyone had shown up for pre-drinks at the house she shared with Louisa, Beth and Aliyah as it was the biggest one. Jax had as usual brought along a bottle of Fireball that he forced everyone take a shot out of. Beth refused to let anyone else control the music. Tom and Louisa were loved up on the sofa together. Isaac was in the kitchen mixing drinks for everyone while Aliyah complained about Beth’s choice of music. All in all it was a pretty typical Saturday night and it was all going well.

Until Harry showed up. With a girl.

She almost dropped her drink when she saw them and everyone in the room turned to look at her when they entered. Once again she had to force a smile to assure them she didn't care and more than ever before she tried to ignore the way her heart sank inside her chest.

And for some very odd reason; she was the first to stand up and greet Harry’s new lady friend. Maybe because everyone was looking at her and it felt like they were just waiting for her to start crying in front of everyone. She didn’t want their pity so she stood and shook this new girl’s hand, acting like everything was completely fine.

“Cleo,” the girl introduced herself with a cheery smile.

And that was about it.

After that she didn’t really talk to her anymore. That’s something she left for the rest of the group to do.

It was hard to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the evening and despite promising herself to not take a shot from Jax’s bottle of Fireball; she had three. The alcohol was warm as it made its way down her throat and she noticed Louisa watching her with worried eyes.

And Harry? She couldn’t even look at him. He tried to talk to her and start a conversation at one point but it felt like her brain was about to explode from anxiety so she quickly excused herself and hid in the bathroom for a good twenty minutes.

She tried her very best to be engaged in the conversations around her and she tried so hard to have a good time. Just like she had the night before. But with Harry right there with Cleo it was fucking impossible and she felt like a green little goblin watching the new pair.

Cleo was pretty much everything she expected her to be and more. She just couldn’t stop staring at them. Harry had a hand on her thigh and she was so polite to everyone. Just like him. She had tasteful tattoos all over and it was almost like the two of them had coordinated their outfits before coming over. Both dressed in checkered prints and matching colors of pink and red. She felt so stupid in her boring and basic black jumpsuit and her dull eye make-up.

Cleo was so effortlessly pretty and she just wasn’t.

It was a slap in the face just how right they looked together.

And it just got worse when they arrived at the club because under the flashing lights on the dance floor she saw how Harry leaned in and kissed Cleo. One of his hands was low on her back while the other caressed her face. Everything was spinning as she watched them kiss she knew it was not only because of the alcohol in her veins.

It hit her hard. Because a small, a very small, and naive part of her thought that maybe he’d still want to go home with her and not Cleo. But as she watched him kiss Cleo the way he used to kiss her ruined all hope she had ridiculously built up.

And maybe it wasn’t the kiss itself that hurt so much but more the fact that Harry was now with someone else and it was real. It was so bloody real. Just last week it was her and now he was kissing Cleo and had barely looked in her direction all night. And even though he technically hadn’t done anything wrong it still hurt and she was angry. Angry with him for kissing someone else, but mostly at herself for still wanting him. For wanting to walk right up and pull him away and take him home. She still wanted him despite everything, but she couldn’t have him.

So instead she had some tequila.

Except, tequila probably wasn’t the best company because in the wee hours of the night she regretted every single shot she had taken. The alcohol in her body made her stomach turn heavily and it was a miracle she even made it into a bathroom stall before it all came back up. Someone on the other side of the stall asked if she was okay but she could barely hear them over the loud buzzing in her ears and her own gagging.

It took her several minutes before she found the strength to get back up on her feet, brushing away the dirt from her jumpsuit, trying desperately not to think about all the germs she had most likely caught from resting so long against a public toilet seat.

As she exited the stall another girl looked over and she didn’t even try to pretend like she hadn’t just been throwing her guts up minutes ago. Instead, she splashed some cold water on her face and took a steady grip of the sink to keep herself standing up.

Fuck.

When she stumbled out of the bathroom a while later she had to lean against the walls to not fall over. The dim lighting in the club made it even harder for her to see where she was going and she kept bumping into bodies as she eventually made her way through the crowd.

Then all of a sudden someone grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Heeeey, party-girl, are you okay?”

The buzzing was still loud in her ears and her vision was blurry, but she still somehow managed to recognize the voice and the striking blonde hair. Isaac. As soon as she knew it wasn’t a complete stranger that had grabbed her she fell into him without a warning and he stumbled a little as he tried to catch her body. “Woah, steady on.”

She tried to talk to him. Tried to explain how she got to this point but no coherent words were coming out of her mouth and she had to use his whole body for support. He wrapped an arm around her and hoisted her up a little before taking a hold of her chin so he could get a good look of her face. She could tell that he was talking to her, his mouth was moving, but she had no idea what he was actually saying. It was too loud and she was too drunk. The club atmosphere made her stomach turn once more and all she wanted to do was to get out of there before she was sick all over again.

And somehow she managed to communicate that to Isaac.

The air was cool and refreshing when they finally made it out of the club and she was clinging onto Isaac as if her life depended on him. He had a strong arm wrapped around her as he pulled out his phone with his other hand to get an Uber. As they waited for it to show up Isaac slowly guided her over and sat her down on the curb next to the road. He crouched down in front of her and took a hold of her chin again. That’s when the first tears fell. She didn’t even try to hide it, once again too drunk and too sad to care if Isaac saw that she was crying. His eyes widened as he noticed.

“Heey, noooo, no, don’t cry. What’s wrong?”

She didn’t know what to tell him. Everything was spinning too much to be able to think of what to say. The alcohol and emotions had taken over all of her senses and it was all just too much. There was only one explanation for her behavior tonight after all and how would she even begin to explain it to him? She had no idea. So all she said was

“Cleo.”

Isaac didn’t say anything in response but she was pretty sure he knew exactly what it meant when he reached out and squeezed her shoulder. Nothing more was said as they waited for the Uber to show up and the last thing she remembered was crying about not having the key for her house.

The next morning was arguably the worst morning of her life, which seemed quite fitting as she’d had the worst evening of her life the previous night. Most of the morning was spent on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, head first down the toilet, regretting every single decision from last night.

This time though it was all her own fault. There was no one else to blame for all the shots she downed but herself.

It was embarrassing. So so embarrassing how drunk she got and how much Isaac had to take care of her. He had brought her back to his and Harry’s shared flat after they couldn’t find her key and realized she was locked out from her own home. She cried her eyes out in the Uber while Isaac tried to comfort her and when they got out she almost got vomit all over his new sneakers.

However, Isaac was nice about it all. He didn’t say anything and just helped her inside, put her down on the sofa, made sure she drank some water and covered her with a blanket. She couldn’t remember exactly what she told him but she knew she had talked about Harry and it was killing her.

But Isaac continued to be nice and he didn’t bring it up when he wandered in and said good morning.

“Y’alright?”

“I feel like death,” she confessed and her throat hurt a little from being sick all last night and earlier that morning. Isaac chuckled lightly.

“Yeah, I can imagine.”

She bit the bottom of her lip and struggled to look at him where he sat on the armchair opposite the sofa she was spread out over. She had known him for as long as she had known Harry, but she had never actually been alone with him in a room and now when she was sober she felt so stupid, and also so incredibly self-conscious because she knew her make-up from last night was smudged all over her face and she had vomit on her jumpsuit and all over her hair. It was the lowest she’d ever been.

“So um,” she grumbled. “Thanks for last night, eh... yeah, I don’t know. I’m sorry for being a mess.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Isaac waved it off and smiled at her. “We’ve all been there.”

“Yeah, well, thank you anyway.” She still couldn’t look at him as she spoke. Because he knew. He knew her feelings for Harry had changed and she didn’t know how to act now.

“So much for never drinking again huh?” he joked lightly to ease the mood and she forced a laugh.

“Yeah, didn’t stick to that one, did I?”

Silence fell between them after that, but in some ways, it was a comfortable one. Isaac sat in his chair and scrolled through his phone as he drank his morning coffee while she just laid on the sofa and tried to collect her mind and emotions. He offered to make breakfast but there was just no way she was going to be able to stomach it. Water was pretty much all that her stomach allowed and she was barely holding onto that. It was early still and she could tell it was raining heavily outside as the raindrops drummed heavily against the windows. It was comfortable though. Pleasant even.

And then, out of nowhere, Cleo emerged from Harry’s bedroom and all the emotions from last night washed over her like a tsunami.

Plus, it felt like someone was playing a practical joke on her when she saw that Cleo was wearing Harry’s shirt from the night before.

“Good morning!” Cleo was as cheery as she was last night and looked even better. Issac nodded and greeted Cleo politely. To make things worse Cleo sat down in the other armchair and started a conversation. Time stopped as she watched Cleo and Isaac talk and it felt like someone suffocated her with one of the pillows. “Did you guys have a good night then?”

She couldn’t take her eyes off Cleo, who looked perfect even after a night out. Her hair was still flawless and her skin looked like it was glowing. It wasn’t ideal for anyone to see or be next to Cleo when they woke up after a chaotic night out and they themselves were covered in vomit. It honestly made her more nauseous than her hangover had all morning and she’d probably never felt as ugly as she did in that moment laying next to Cleo.

“It was decent, yeah,” Isaac said and then looked at her. His eyes filled with pity and she hated it. She hated it so much. “You?”

“It was super fun,” Cleo answered with a big smile. “Harry and I got in sooooo late though. We stopped to get some food down at that kebab place around the corner before we got in and I swear to God it was the best food I’ve had in my life! Thanks for letting me come out with you guys.”

And just like that, it was all too much. There was just no way she could sit there and talk to the girl who was dating the boy she had come to realize she liked more than just a friend. There was a lot she could do and put up with, but that wasn’t one of those things.

“Um, excuse me,” she mumbled as she got up from the sofa. Isaac called out her name but she ignored it. Her whole body ached and her head felt heavy. She had no idea how she was actually going to make it home in this state but she’d try her damn hardest, even if she was sick along the way it would be better than staying here.

Then she heard her name being called again.

This time however it was from someone else.

Someone whose voice she’d recognize anywhere.

Harry.

“What are you doing here?” He looked at her with furrowed brows, clearly not expecting to see her.

“Oh, eh, hey,” she managed to croak out and fought back the urge to be sick all over again. “I came back with Isaac last night.”

“You uh, you came back with Isaac?” Harry asked slowly, his eyes never leaving her as a small line formed between his brows. He opened his mouth to say something else, but closed it just as fast. The silence that fell between them then was defeating.

“I mean, I wasn’t feeling very well so he helped me out a little.”

“Oh, okay,” he nodded and the corner of his mouth twisted into a small smile, but then it faltered just as fast. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” She knew she was being short with him and the look he gave her burned into her skin, but with tears threatening to fall at any moment it was a conversation she really didn’t want to have. Not with him. Not right now. “Look, Harry, I gotta go.”

“What?” he said and pushed himself off the door frame he leaned against, and as he came closer she took a step back. “You’re more than welcome to stay. It’s so early still and by the sounds of it it’s bucketing down outside. Stay for some breakfast. I was gonna make some pancakes.”

“I have to go.”

“Wait,” he called after her when she turned her back to him and got ready to leave. “Hey, wait a minute!”

She didn’t really care at that point though. Whatever thing she and Harry had was already gone and there was nothing that could make things worse than what they were now. She just wanted to get out and get as far away from him as fast as possible.

So she left without saying another word to Harry despite him calling her name.

- “Harry’s a fucking prick anyways,” Aliyah began and threw her hands up dramatically. “Like, is he just going to sleep with you one week and then replace you next week? No, fuck that. You deserve better.”

“He did tell me about it though,” she noted with a small sniffle and curled up further under her blanket. “I mean, he did tell me he was going on a date so it’s not like he lied or I don’t know... went behind my back.”

“Yeah, well, he’s still a prick,” Aliyah grumbled and slumped back against the sofa, arms crossed over her chest.

“Besides, we’re just friends, you know... ”

“You’re clearly more than just friends though,” Louisa added carefully with knowing eyes. “Like, I hate to break it to you but it’s pretty obvious you like him.”

“I... “ she trailed off not knowing how to respond to that. Because she knew she couldn’t keep denying it anymore. Not after showing up at her own house, drenched from the rain with red puffy eyes in last night’s clothes and without a key. No matter how scary it was to admit what she had buried inside her heart for so long it was impossible to deny it any longer. “Yeah. I do. I do like him.”

She let out a huge breath as she finally admitted it. It was strange, but also so right. The feelings she had for Harry was something she had buried inside for so long and it was freeing almost to now admit it out loud in front of her best friends.

“Maybe you should tell him that?” Beth suggested.

She almost laughed.

“That’s definitely not happening,” she shut down the suggestion straight away. There was no way she was telling him how she felt. Especially not now. “He obviously doesn't like me back, and besides he has Cleo now, and you know.. he’s like actually dating her and stuff so…”

“So what?” Beth cut in. “He might like you too. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Me?” she scoffed. “Yeah, I highly doubt that.”

Beth shrugged.

“I don’t know. I think he might do.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter anymore does it? He has Cleo now.”

“You won’t know unless you ask,” Louisa pointed out with a small twinkle in her eyes. Before she had the chance to object to the faulty statement the sound of the doorbell ringing echoed through the house.

“That’s probably the food,” Beth announced and stood up swiftly. “I’ll go get it.”

She gave Beth a small smile and wiped her wet cheeks with the ends of her blanket. As soon as she had left Harry’s flat earlier that morning she broke down in tears and called Louisa who offered to come to pick her up straight away but she declined, needing some time for herself before facing anyone.

But after showing up a mess, drenched from the rain in last night’s clothes after walking all the way home it was clear that she needed all her friends today. So Aliyah ran her a bath while Beth ordered food and Louisa went out for snacks and her favorite drink.

And she couldn’t be more grateful.

“Uhm,” Beth popped her head back in the living room and it was obvious by the look on Beth’s face that something was off. “It’s Harry.”

“W-what?”

For a moment she thought that maybe Beth was just taking the piss but judging by the confusion spreading across the room she quickly realized that wasn’t the case. “I don’t want to talk to him.”

“You sure?” Louisa asked. “This might be the perfect opportunity to talk things through.”

“No,” she shook her head quickly. “I can’t. Not now.”

“I’ll go talk to him!” Aliyah announced with fire in her eyes and leaped off the sofa in one go, only to have Beth stop her in the doorway.

“I think maybe I should talk to him,” she offered and looked at Aliyah with both her eyebrows raised knowingly. Aliyah only mumbled something under her breath but accepted Beth’s proposal and returned to her spot on the sofa without a fuss.

“You okay?” Louisa asked when Beth disappeared again to go talk to the boy who had her heart aching so badly. Louisa reached out to squeeze her knee gently when she didn’t respond. She just didn't know what to say; because she wasn’t okay. She was very much far from okay today.

Tears welled up in her eyes for the hundredth time and she shook her head and attempted to blink her tears away. She didn’t want to cry anymore. Louisa sighed and pulled her closer and wrapped her arms around her in a long hug. It was embarrassing really how much she had cried all day but she just couldn't stop. Never in a million years did she think she’d ever get so upset over a guy.

But it was Harry.

Harry who left jumpers out for her to wear after she stayed at his flat. Harry who made her breakfast in the morning and knew exactly how she liked her tea. Harry who made her laugh until she couldn’t breathe anymore. Harry who rubbed her back after a night out. Harry who let her steal all of the duvet in her sleep even though he was cold too. Harry who texted her stupid jokes just because he knew she liked them. Harry who also texted her cute pictures of puppies because she loved dogs. Harry who made her feel like no man ever had.

Harry who was now with Cleo.

Cleo who was absolutely perfect for him. Cleo who probably went thrift shopping with him and helped him find silly shirts with crazy prints and knew about all the bands he always talked about.

Cleo who was just so much better than her.

Harry Styles 8:27 AM Heeeyyy are you mad at me?

Harry Styles 10:12 AM Hello?

Harry Styles 10:46 AM Ok so mad then? will you pls talk to me? don’t like the way you stormed off earlier :/

Harry Styles 12:01 PM Hellloooooooo? pls talk to me

Harry Styles 12:30 PM Isaac told me you were quite upset last night... did something happen?

Harry Styles 12:56 PM You’re making me a bit worried, did you make it home okay?

Harry Styles 1:15 PM I tried calling a few times but it’s not really coming through.. Are you okay?

Harry Styles 2:49 PM I'm coming over

Harry Styles 4:37 PM Beth said you weren’t feeling so well, I hope you feel better soon, make sure you drink loads of water! .xx

Harry Styles 11:26 PM Ok sooo, i dunno whats going on. i dunno if Beth lied to me today or not... i just hope you're okay. you know you can talk to me if something is bothering you right?

Goodnight .xxx

PART 2 ♡

Let me know your thoughts. Thank you for reading! <3

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry #harry styles #harry styles concept #harry styles au #harry styles angst #my writing #fanfic #harry styles x you #hs #writing #harry fic #harry styles fic #stay with me #SWM

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 12 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter twelve

~|Emily Fox|~

“Can we do something tonight?” Madison asks me when we’re at school on Thursday. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.” I shut my locker and shoulder my backpack. “I can’t tonight… I—” I realize I haven’t told her about Charlie yet, let alone about the band. “I have to work.” Madison lets out a loud groan. “You always have to work! Do you ever get a day off?” “I mean… Sunday’s are my days off?” “Yeah, but Sundays are for you and your Uncle Mitch,” she points out. Ever since Uncle Bobby’s death, Mitch and I have declared Sundays Emily-and-Mitch day. Just being together, watching movies and eating all the snacks, reminiscing about all the days with Uncle Robert. “Okay… Then how about our free period before lunch? We could just hang out in the school yard?” Madi raises an eyebrow at me, clearly not a fan of my plan. “I can’t help this, Mads, I got into a really big fight with Ash the other day and I’ve lost privileges of choosing my shifts.” I only realize I hadn’t told her about the fight with Ash either since it’s connected to Charlie and only the boys know about Charlie. Not even Mitch. Not even Madi. I want to see where it goes first before I tell anyone. I would’ve kept it from the boys too if they hadn’t barged in mid-kiss. Just thinking about that moment gives my lips the permission to curl up into a smile. “What was the fight about?” Of course she would ask that. “Uhm… Nothing too bad… Just something I…,” I trail off, trying to come up with the best excuse, “misplaced! Yeah, I misplaced something!” I sound way too excited about this. “And that’s why Ash got angry?” I nod my head slowly. This might not have been the best excuse. “She’s a little short tempered these days…” “Is she pregnant or something?” Madison actually believes me. Okay, now I feel even more like absolute shit for lying to her. But I can’t tell her. Not yet. Charlie and I has to be an us-thing before it can become an everyone-thing. “Not that I know, no…” Madison simply shrugs, says goodbye, and walks to her class, leaving me and my lying ass alone in the hallway. I take in a deep breath and head to my own class. I can’t believe I lied to my best friend about something as important as being in a band and a relationship with the cutest boy. I can’t wait to see him again tonight. “Oh, hey, Emily!” Not him. “Jake… Hey?” He gives me a teasing smirk whilst his eyes scan my entire being. “Can I help you?” I cross my arms over my chest, hoping it would protect me from this evil person-thing. “Uhm, yeah, I was wondering if you were—” Someone else I’d rather not be talking to interrupts him. “Is this underachiever bothering you, babe?” My hands ball up into fists. Customer-service-attitude, Emily. You can do this. I look up at Brianna’s tall stature. She’s actually my height, but decides to wear heels to school, just to tower over pretty much everyone, including Jake. “Actually, you’re both bothering me, so move.” There goes my customer-service-attitude. Brianna scoffs, placing her manicured hand on her chest, “Was that a threat?” “No, but it will be if you don’t get out of my way.” I push past them to make my way to my seat. I can deal with a lot of people at the Music Store, but Brianna and Jake are another level. “Don’t even bother coming to my party!” “I wasn’t planning too,” I scowl, then take a deep breath when the teacher walks in and shuts Brianna and Jake up too. You just got to get through this day and then you’ll see Charlie and the boys again. Just breathe. – Mmh, Charlie. The thought alone calms me down.

For a really long time, the Music Store has been my own little getaway. Away from people at school, away from life. Just a calming oasis for me and me alone. I don’t mind the boys ever being here, not at all. If anything, they add to that calming oasis. But that entire fata morgana of mine suddenly vanishes when Jake enters the store after school. I’ve been here for five minutes. Is this really necessary? “Can I help you?” I ask, not even bothering with my customer-service-smile. “Yeah, actually… I was wondering if you didn’t want to come to Brianna’s party this weekend? I think it’s going to be a blast.” I raise my eyebrows at him in disbelief. “I’d rather die than go to Brianna’s party, Jake. You of all people should know that.” I move away from the counter to go and help a customer at the guitars, but Jake stops me. “Just… Think about it, okay? I think it would be fun with you around?” He offers me that smile I fell in love with at one point a year ago. “Please, Emmy?” The nickname brings me straight back to planet earth. He knows what that nickname means to me. “I need to get back to work,” I tell him, and walk over to the teenage boy, staring at the guitars longingly. I grab one and hand it to him when I hear the bell ringing. I look up at the door to watch Jake walk away. Instead, I find Charlie passing him, offering Jake a kind smile. He has no clue who he’d just passed. “He didn’t look too satisfied,” he chuckles and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Yeah, no…” Should I tell him or keep it a secret? Lying to Madi feels terrible, I can’t lie to Charlie now too. “That’s Jake… My ex-boyfriend…” Charlie’s eyes widen slightly, his lips parting to let out a breath. “He asked if I wanted to come to his new girlfriend’s party, who also happens to be the biggest bitch on the planet. So…” “Do you want to go?” I frown at his assumption that I would ever even think about going to a Brianna Holly party. “No! I’d rather die than go to her stupid party.” He chuckles, then bites his lip and steps forward, grabbing my hand. “Charlie, I got work to do…” I point to the cash register where a couple customers are waiting to pay. “We could go to the party together? Show your ex-boyfriend you’ve moved on to someone better?” I raise an eyebrow as my lips turn upwards without me wanting to. “You want me to use you as some sort of trophy?” “Yes! I can be your trophy wife!” He’s doing this on purpose to make me feel better, I’m sure. “Charlie…” I breathe out and take my hand back, so I can head to the counter where the customers are getting restless. Charlie, however, just follows me like a puppy. “Brianna Holly’s party is always this big bash in her dad’s mansion where very popular bands play and people think they’re the best of the best.” I scan the customer’s items and tell them how much they need to pay, keeping my customer-service-attitude. “What if we take the band and play a song ourselves? Could be great for some exposure? And you can show Brianna what you’re made off and we can show Jake what we have?” I say goodbye to the last customer, and even before they have turned their backs to us, Charlie hops onto the counter. “No, Charles!” I know what using his full name does to him. He gives me a sharp look and tilts his head a little, which makes him look like an actual puppy. “Can we drop it?” I grab the invoices of today from the cupboard behind me and slap them against his chest. His hand moves up to mine to grab the papers from me, but instead, he just halts. “I’m still going to ask the rest of the band and they’re going to say ‘yes’.” Now he grabs the papers from my hand and gets off the counter to start sorting. “You’re such a child,” I mutter before making my way to any mess that’s been made today. I can’t stop thinking about Jake though. Why does he want me to go to the party so badly? None of it makes any sense. That’s his girlfriend’s party and he wants his ex-girlfriend to go? Make it make sense, please. “BOYS!” Charlie shouts loudly the second the boys walk inside, making them – and me – jump. “We might have our first gig on Saturday!” I roll my eyes at Charlie, but I doubt he notices. “I wouldn’t call it a gig if one of your bandmates isn’t going to be there,” I mumble, not taking my eyes off the sheet music I’m sorting through. “Who’s not going to be there?” Jeremy asks, “Is it you, Owen?” “Is it you, Owen?” Owen mimics his buddy, his voice higher than it normally is, and slaps Jeremy on the back of the head again. “What’s the gig? And why don’t you want to go, Ems?” “It’s at the annual Brianna Holly party…” I trail off and make my way to the sheet music station to put the sorted papers back. “And we don’t like Brianna Holly?” Owen gets it. “Come on, Emily! It’s going to be amazing exposure for the band! And who knows? It could be fun to go together? Do something else for a change.” Charlie really isn’t going to drop this. I just stare at him for a while, not sure what to tell him. “Let’s vote! Who wants to go?” Jeremy and Charlie both raise their hands, Owen just looks at me with that worried, anxious look of his. “Come on, Owen! You love a good party!” “I don’t want to go if Emily doesn’t feel comfortable going.” I shoot him a thankful smile. “Hey,” Charlie moves closer towards me, taking my hand in his, “I think this might be a really good opportunity, for all of us. But if you really don’t want to go, we won’t go…” “Let’s rehearse a song, if it’s not perfect by Saturday, we don’t go, okay?” I’ve never seen a smile brighter than the one on Charlie’s face right now. He kisses my hand swiftly and grabs the electric guitar he’s been using for a while now. “Let’s get to rehearsing then!” Reggie grabs his bass and Owen goes to sit behind the drums while I take my place behind the keyboard. I play a few notes before starting to sing, the boys just looking at me, awaiting their turn to play. Playing with the boys is ever so exciting. Every song we’ve played so far just sounds magical and maybe sharing that magic at Brianna Holly’s party isn’t such a bad idea. “Hearts on fire We're no liars, so we say what we wanna say I'm awakened, no more faking So we push all our fears away”

The song is perfect by Saturday, and, after a couple more rehearsals on the day – I asked Ash half the day off – we head to Brianna Holly’s party. To say I’m nervous is the biggest understatement of the century.

“We’re going to smash this,” Charlie reassures me when he notices me tense up when we enter the Holly Mansion. “I promise you.” I offer him a half-hearted smile, not being able to manage more than that.

“Oh, you came…” Brianna’s witchy voice sends shivers down my spine, “How fun.” Anyone who doesn’t note the sarcasm in her voice is probably not the brightest. “And you brought some friends, I see.” Her tongue glides across her teeth as she eyes Charlie up and down.

“Emily! You came!” Another voice I’d rather not hear today. Jake joins by Brianna’s side, wrapping his arm around her waist. Not a second later, I feel Charlie do the exact same to me.

“They were just leaving again…” Brianna gives me a sharp look, wanting to scare me.

“Actually, no… We’re not,” I don’t know where the sudden burst of confidence comes from. It might be Charlie’s arm protectively around me. Or just having the boys behind me.

I look around the enormous living room and spot the instruments tucked in a corner of the room, waiting to be played. “Looks like no band showed up, Brianna. How sad…” I turn to the boys, “What do you say, boys?” All of them shoot me a grin or a nod before I turn back to Brianna.

“Say what?!” she orders, seemingly panicking slightly.

“You’ll see,” I say and start walking towards the small stage in the corner. The boys grab their spot, and so do I. I shake my nervous hands for a second, suddenly doubting my abilities and second-guessing my choices.

“You got this,” Charlie mouths to me, and all of a sudden, my fingers begin to play the notes on the keyboard.

“Hearts on fire We're no liars, so we say what we wanna say I'm awakened, no more faking So we push all our fears away”

I look over at Jeremy, who’s closest to me, and he smiles at me, encouraging me to go on.

“Don't know if I'll make it cause I'm falling under Close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder”

I close my eyes for a second, letting myself get into the moment.

“I wanna fly Come alive Watch me shine”

I grab the microphone off the stand and join the boys in the middle of the stage, right between Jeremy and Charlie and grab the tambourine hanging from the microphone stand.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long and now we're finally free”

The crowd at Brianna’s party gathers around the stage in curiosity. Some of them bopping their heads, some throwing their hands up. Brianna and Jake are at the back, staring at us in disbelief and maybe some jealousy.

“We're all bright now What a sight now Coming out like we're fireworks Marching on proud Turn it up loud Cause now we know what we're worth”

I place the microphone on the stand at the front, so I have one hand free to guide me through the song. Charlie then sings the pre-chorus along with me, neither of us able to keep our eyes off each other.

“We know we can make it We're not falling down under Close my eyes and feel my chest Beating like thunder”

I grab the microphone again and move to Jeremy to rock out with him a little.

“I wanna fly Come alive Watch me shine”

I wink at Owen before heading back to the mic stand for the chorus.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long and now we're finally free”

I walk up to the edge of the stage to interact with some of the crowd.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe Been so long and now we're finally free”

I lean over in Charlie’s direction as he’s walked closer to me already.

“I got a spark in me,

” I sing, and push the mic closer to him, so we’re sharing the mic.

“I got a spark in me,”

he echoes with a smile.

“And you're a part of me” “And you're a part of me” “Now 'til eternity” “Now 'til eternity” “Been so long and now we're finally free”

As I hit the high note, Jeremy and Charlie take the chorus again with me adlibbing in between.

“I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe” “Been so long and now we're finally free,”

I sing along before getting back to adlibbing.

“

I got a spark in me Hands up if you can see And you're a part of me Hands up if you're with me Now 'til eternity Hands up if you believe”

I move back to the keyboard now.

“Been so long and now we're finally free”

The boys stop playing their instruments as I play the last notes on the keyboard and singing the last notes of the song.

“Finally free, yeah...”

Charlie’s looking at me, that proud, puppy-like smile on his face and it gives me all the tingles. I almost forget we’re performing at a party in front of pretty much the entire school until a roaring applause sounds through the living room of the mansion. While Owen comes back from behind his drums, I join the other boys in the middle of the stage and once Owen’s there too, we take a bow. For a moment, we sulk in the attention, taking in the applause.

“That was amazing, you guys!” Jeremy shouts excitedly when we get off the stage with the sound of the people buzzing around us.

“Let’s get something to drink,” Charlie suggests when I’m stopped by a girl I know from school.

“Where did you get that outfit?!” she asks excitedly, taking the jacket between her fingers. That’s Tori, one of Brianna’s friends. She normally never talks to me.

“Should I get you something?” Charlie whispers in my ear with his hand on my lower back.

“Yeah, get me some punch, please?” he nods his head and then leaves with the boys. “I designed it, actually. A project with my uncle,” I tell her with a smile, reminded by the Sunday Uncle Mitch and I decided to have a crafty afternoon.

“It’s so pretty!” she squeals with a smile that nearly reaches her ears. “And who are those boys? They don’t go to our school right?” I shake my head.

“No, they go to a different school. I met them at the Music Store, where I work.” It feels weird talking to Tori, but a good weird. She’s so much nicer than Brianna, it makes me wonder why she’s friends with her anyway.

“They’re cute!” I smile, looking at my boys in the kitchen at the punch bowl.

“Yeah, they are.” I don’t notice Tori walking away and being replaced by someone else until I turn around and find Jake before me. “Oh, hey.” My smile fades quickly.

“Just wanted to tell you how amazing you were up there and that I’m happy you came to the party.” I nervously look back to where the boys are, hoping they’ll notice me, but their backs are turned towards me.

“Uhm, yeah… Thanks, Jake.”

“We used to be good together, didn’t we?” The question takes me aback a little.

“I mean, yeah, we

used

to…” I don’t know where this conversation is going, but I don’t like it for one second. This is giving me a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Can’t we go back to what we used to be?” He takes a step forward, and I take one back. Then his hands are on my waist, where they used to fit so perfectly back in the day. Then his lips are on mine and I’m trying my hardest to push him off me. Even turning my head away doesn’t help one bit. My sight blurs and then it’s black. Pitch black. Up until I feel several hands on me. One hand on my back, two hands on my shoulders and the ones on my waist disappear. Once my sight is back, I find Owen holding me tight and Jeremy was too until he sprung into action and tears Charlie off of Jake before he can punch my ex.

“You okay, Ems?” Owen asks, rubbing my back.

“Yeah,” I whisper, “Charlie?” I don’t think he hears me. He’s just staring at Jake and his buddies that have surrounded him, and he’s panting. “Charlie!” He seemingly snaps out of his thoughts and turns around slowly. The fire and hatred in his eyes quickly fade away when he sees me. He walks up to me and cups my face, his thumbs rubbing my cheeks. Only then I notice I’d been crying.

“Are you okay?” he asks worriedly.

“Yeah, I am…” I whisper, not entirely certain myself. Owen takes a step back as Charlie wraps me up in his arms and Jeremy joins by our side too. “Can we go, though?” I don’t even dare to look at Jake. He’s never been violent during our relationship and now he does this?

“Can we hang out at the store for a while?” I ask when we’re outside the mansion to head home. “I don’t want to go home yet.”

“Do you want some alone time with Charlie?” Jeremy asks, for once a sensible question.

“No, I want all of you guys with me.” He shoots me the happiest, most sympathetic smile he’s ever given me.

At the Music Store, Charlie puts me down on the armchair at the window, wrapping me up in a blanket. It has started to rain, the droplets pattering against the glass next to me, calming me down a little. Jeremy and Owen sit down on the floor in front of me whilst Charlie has squeezed into the chair with me, his arms wrapped around me.

“At least now all of you have met my ex-boyfriend,” I chuckle, but it doesn’t get the reaction I wanted to.

“And he nearly met Charlie’s fist,” Jeremy chimes in, but not with the same humoristic tone.

“Has he always been like that?” Owen questions, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“No, he’s never been violent with me or anything. I never thought he would…” I swallow the lump in my throat, thinking about what had just happened. “He actually broke up with me when…” I look up at Charlie to find some courage, “When my Uncle died a year ago. I hadn’t left my house in a long time, didn’t eat, didn’t play any music. And Jake just got sick of it… So he broke up with me.” Charlie presses me closer towards him and kisses me on the head whilst Owen rubs my knee comfortingly.

“I’m sorry you had to get through that, Emsie,” Jeremy says, “I know what it feels like to lose a family member close to you.” I offer him a sympathetic smile, but don’t push him to tell me anything.

“He’s a real jerk, isn’t he?” goes Owen, and it makes me chuckle a little.

“That’s an understatement.”

For the rest of the night, we sit like this at the window, chatting about life. Deep subjects, funny anecdotes, … I tell them about Uncle Robert when he was still alive, and I tell them about Uncle Mitch and our Sundays. I talk about my parents kicking me out. All while Charlie holds me close and peppers me with kisses. Even in terrible situations, these boys are still here by my side and I doubt they’ll be leaving any time soon.

Taglist: @parkeret @lukeys-giggle @hannahhistorian92 @gingerxarmy @marinettepotterandplagg @lovesanimals @thequirkybookaholic Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #charlie gillespie #jeremy shada #owen joyner #charlie x oc #oc emily fox #luke patterson #reggie jatp #alex jatp #madison reyes #Julie molina

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yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy · 4 years ago

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My Knight, My Savior, My Herald

Alright, so @waiting4inspiration NEEDED this. Some sweet Herald Finehair to the rescue. Is it incredibly indulgant? Yes. Is it romantic? Yes. I wanted this to be nice and sweet and most of all, COMFORTING but not intrusive. If she wants a part two, I can include sexy times if she wants them. But this first part is just soft and sweet yet casually intimate. I tried to leave this vague as far as the food and presents go (which is incredibly hard for me) and tried to leave things as ‘your favorite’ so you can impose what you like into it. The only thing I specified was a fruit tart and chocolate covered strawberries. Sorry it took so long, I spent an equal amount of time writing it as I did scouring pintrist for THE PERFECT PICTURES. Only the best for you Dearest.

You walked out, to be met by the sight of Harald waiting by his car with flowers and a smile on his handsome face.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Here as your knight in shining armor on my valiant steed here to take you to my tower of solace.” He answered in an over dramatic way that had you snickering a laugh as he handed you the flowers before hugging you tight and his hug felt like coming to a warm and loving home. There was warmth, comfort, love, care and happiness here. Where you felt welcome and at peace and he let you hold him for as long as you needed.

“Are you going to be alright y/n?” He asked, his words muffled by your clothes and hair since his face was buried into the crux of your shoulder.

“Now I am.” You answered, confident that now you were together again, you would be.

“Come on, I got a surprise for you.” He revealed when you pulled apart.

He opened the passenger door for you as you slid into the leather interiors. The car was clean and fresh but you smelled food, like groceries- kind of food before you turned around to see paper bags full of groceries in the back seat as Harald went around the car and got in himself.

“So is the surprise dinner?” You asked as you gestured to the back seat as he started the car.

“Part of it.” He grinned as he looked back over to you. There was a mischievousness to the curve of that smirk. Normally it would give you just a touch of fear. But over time you’ve learned to trust it because there was never any maliciousness or any harm, intended or unintended with that. He was a hopeless romantic and he believed in big romantic gestures and being spontaneous. And now was one of those times.

He reached down and took your hand before he kissed the back of it sweetly before he focused on driving.

He drove for what felt like at least an hour, maybe an hour and a half. He let you listen to whatever your heart desired music wise as the city turned into suburbs then to the country side, the roads getting narrower and narrower until it was just a back country road and the houses became fewer and fewer as lush fields turned into heavy forests.

The scents of late summer and early autumn were rich and heavy into the air as the air got cooler and cooler before he leaned forward, looking for something in particular.

“10105, 10110, 10115, 10120, ha, here we are- 10125.” He beamed as he pulled into the driveway, it was a long, winding gravel one through the trees where you saw squirrels and a bunny or two go for cover as you drove through and then a clearing….

Low and behold, the proverbial and exemplar cabin in the woods. But with a twist. There were solar panels on the roof, interrupted by skylights for the place, there was a lovely wrap around porch and a little garden on the side. It was so beautiful you wanted to cry.

“Do you like it?” Harald asked hopefully.

“I love it.” You professed.

“Good, I’m happy you love it. New home away from home for a while.” He revealed as he drove all the way up to the house and under the car park where you could see the back of the house where there was a hot tub on the back porch. Oooh, you were going to have fun in that later.

You got out of the car and tried to help bring in groceries at least.

“Oh no you don’t, I got this, the code for the door is your birthday, go check it out, I got this.” He urged you.

Before you turned and went to the code thing for the door and punched in your birthday, thinking it was really cool that he would set it to that before the door opened and revealed an exquisite interior. A gorgeous new kitchen and cozy if not slightly lavish and luxurious interiors but not so much so that you felt uncomfortable or that you couldn’t breathe for fear of messing it up as you simply let your heart lead you. You found the most cozy and inviting reading nook. Oh the stories you could read. Hell, the stories you could write from there. But this was about you filling your own cup before you could pour and give to anyone else.

Your hand felt along the plush throw blankets over the back of the couch as you walked past, the fireplace was begging for a fire and the large tv was also inviting you to watch it but, not now, maybe later. You followed your eyes up the sturdy stairs to the upstairs, a lavish upper bathroom with a tub of dreams, oh the baths you could enjoy. It was big enough for at least two people. Bathbomb needed.

And the bed. Oh God. Heaven help you. A king size bed, with a down comforter and super soft sateen sheets with all these pillows and you just rather unceremoniously flopped onto the bed face first.

It had some memory foam in some of the layers because you bounced a little before you just sunk in as your body laxed before you rolled over to your back. The bed smelled amazing, fresh and clean and looking up, oh, the biggest sky light ever right above the bed. Combined with the giant windows, you didn’t lack any natural light. You felt...at peace, free and comfortable. Like the rest of the world and all your problems were a million miles away and they could stay that way.

It wasn’t until you heard Harald doing something in the kitchen, a clank of pots and pans which brought your attention away from the bedroom of dreams to get back downstairs to see Harald surrounded by his ingredients and a few already on a cutting board, having already been sliced and chopped to the perfect sizes.

“Hey, so? How do you like the place?” He asked hopefully as he swirled some oil in the pan around.

“I love it, how did you find it?” You asked.

“Airbnb is amazing. It was close yet far enough for you to feel like you’re getting away without actually going too far away. And we still have all the comforts of home plus some. Did you see your present?” He asked.

“Wha...what present?” You frowned. “I thought this was the present.” You looked around.

“Well I mean yeah, but hang on, let me get this in the pan.” He urged you as he threw the diced items into the pan to hear them sizzle as the scents became enhanced from the heat before he turned the heat down so it wouldn’t burn and put a lid on it before he brought you back to the livingroom where a giant present was sitting on the couch with your name on it and you were so focused on the soft throw, you totally missed the present as you gasped in surprise and smiled so brightly.

“Yay! There’s a real smile.” He cheered before he kissed you sweetly.

“Open it,” he urged you before you sat next to it on the couch.

You ripped that wrapping paper to shreds trying to get inside and you squealed with joy. It was a pampering gift! Oh you had a couple of face masks, you had a body scrub, you had a trio of bath bombs, you had fancy lotions and little bottles of shampoo and conditioner and body wash and even a little thing of bath oil and a little moisturizer and face cleanser. And if that wasn’t enough, oh no, you had a new pair of super soft pajamas, with a new comfy robe and slippers too! The man knew you and knew exactly how to make you feel like a princess, if not a queen.

You were beyond happy.

“Thank you so much!” You thanked him as you threw your arms around him and hugged him tight.

“You’re welcome, y/n.” He chuckled as he hugged you tight.

“I gotta go finish cooking.” He said as he let go to return to the kitchen to finish preparing your dinner before he put what he needed to into a deep cooking dish and slipped it into the oven to bake for a while.

“So, we have a little time before dinner is ready, what did you want to do? You could start enjoying your gifts or there’s a trail in the back, we could walk it and see where it takes us.” He hinted as he nodded over his shoulder were you could see a trail as plain as day.

“I’m feeling a little adventurous.” You admitted before you took his hand and he led you to the back yard as you took the trail together since it was wide enough for that. You were so enchanted by the forest, it was rich and dense yet not so dense you could peer deeply into it. You could hear the birds sing their delightful songs and the breeze rustling the branches before they caressed your skin, keeping you cool and comfortable since the humidity was way down today. You just felt so at peace, just walking side by side with Harald before the trail brought you to another house, this one bigger with a barn with horses in the yard.

“Ok, time to turn back.” You urged him as you tugged him back towards the cabin.

“No it’s ok, these are the owners of the cabin, they have horses and the option to ride them was part of the deal. We’ve come this far, want to go a little farther? They have horse trails all over the woods, all you have to do is get on. The horses are very tame and sweet.” He invited.

“Really?” You asked as you stopped tugging before the horses seemed to notice you and neigh at you.

“Hey guys!” A woman greeted as she waived at you from her chicken’s yard since she was feeding them her trimmings from dinner before she came out and walked on over.

“I’m Ashley, the owner and operator of this ranch and the cabins, I take it you’re Harald Finehair, we talked on the phone, and you’re y/n.” She assumed judging by the trail that dumped out as you noticed others lead out from the farm. She must have had other cabins at the ends of those trails.

“Thinking about going for a ride?” She asked hopefully as Harald looked to you for that answer.

“Well we don’t want to trouble you.” You tried to dissuade them.

“Oh no trouble at all, these cheeky beggars need an excuse to get out.” She reassured you as the horses came closer to investigate. They did look really nice.

“Ok,” you caved before Harald and the owner walked towards the barn.

“How much experience do you have with riding horses? Harald already told me he has quite a bit of experience.” She inquired.

“Uh, some.” You answered before you told her of your experience.

“Well then I’ll put you on Casper, he sounds like he would be a good fit with you. Harald, I’m putting you on Duke.” She said before she walked you into the barn before she grabbed two haltars and two lead ropes and walked out into the main paddock where other horses were there, eating hay and drinking from the trough before she approached two particular horses and put the bridals on them and then the lead ropes before she led them back over to the gate and with Harald manning the gate, she got out and tied them to a post outside of two of the stalls. “Y/n, meet Casper, Harald, meet Duke.” She introduced before she went through the few kinds of saddles she had and what you preferred before Harald took a brush from a bucket and handed you one brush while he took the other as you brushed them down, the horses quite liking this part as Casper rubbed his face into your front.

“Oof, I like you too.” You chuckled as you brushed him down and just as you got done, Harald took your brush and handed you a hoof pick so you could clean out your horses hooves which you did. Casper was super good and picked up his feet for you as Harald did the same with Duke who was sniffing at Harald’s back pockets to see if he had any carrots or treats or anything in them.

“Hey, cheeky beggar, they don’t have treats.” Ashley got after Duke when she came back with Harald’s saddle and set it on the bar that rotated out from the wall next to the stall before she left again to get your saddle.

Harald was a natural around horses as he placed the saddle pad right where it needed to be just as Ashely came back and put your saddle and saddle pad on the rotating arm next to the stall and Harald had saddled his horse in no time before he came over to walk you through it again and no sooner had he cinched it that Taylor came back with the bridals.

This part you could do yourself so Harald could do his own before you led the horses out of the barn to a small stool to make mounting them easier.

“So how long do you want to ride for?” She asked.

“Uh, dinner should be done in about an hour so like half an hour or so?,” Harald answered.

“Well then you should take the Lake trail, and when you get to the fork, turn left, if you turn right, it’ll take you about two hours to get back and that’s too long.” She urged you.

“So at the fork turn left.” Harald repeated.

“Yup, you can’t miss it.” She insisted before she pointed you in the right direction.

Once on the trail, Harald took the lead and just let you walk, following him through the forest as your body adjusted to the rhythm of the horse walking at a comfortable pace. Grateful you weren’t getting chowed by mosquitoes or really any other kind of bug. You were just having a wonderful, romantic, charming ride in the woods. With Harald. The one person who knew you, knew all of you and loved you unconditionally, and not in spite of your flaws, but because of them. Who accepted you wholeheartedly, who would never betray you or your trust or confidence. You didn’t have to be strong or tough unless you wanted to be. You could be vulnerable and when you felt like you were about to collapse, he was there to fall into and carry you when you felt like you couldn’t go on much longer and you didn’t have to turn yourself into something you thought he would love, nope, as long as you were all of yourself, that’s all he wanted. You. And you had learned that if you just let him and give him the chance to try, he would take care of you in every way. And you needed this now more than ever and you appreciated having him in your life.

Sure enough you found a fork in the trail and turned left before the forest opened up to reveal a gorgeous private lake where there was already another couple in a row boat having a romantic afternoon themselves while two more horses were tied to the horse equivalent of a runner line for dogs, but for horses as the horses themselves were happily munching on the grass.

“Tomorrow?” Harald asked as he turned around and looked at you hopefully.

“Tomorrow.” You mirrored. A day on the lake sounded lovely actually.

The trail continued to wind and twist through the forest before it came back to an open field.

“Wanna run?” Herald asked.

Your answer was to click your teeth and gently tap your heels to Casper’s side and Casper got the hint that you wanted to go faster which he was all too happy to oblige you as you hung on and galaoped through the field with Harald, both of you laughing as Duke was not about to be surpassed and gave Casper a run for his money.

“And it’s a tie.” Harald laughed once you reached the end of the long field before you found another trail that would lead you back to the farm before you rode the horses back over to the barn and got off and led them back into the barn where they got their tack taken off before you brushed them again and cleaned their hooves before they were let back into the corral with the others before Harald took your hand and led you back to your private cabin.

The timing had been perfect, dinner was done, cooked perfectly and Harald opened up your drink of choice and poured it into the appropriate glass before serving you dinner. All the flavors were perfect, rich and divine and your portion was generous, filling you comfortably full but not overstuffed.

“There’s going to be a storm later tonight.” He mentioned as he ate his own dinner and checked the weather on his phone.

You slept really well through thunderstorms. That would be awesome.

After dinner and an array of desserts, from a your favorite cake, to a fruit tarte and chocolate covered strawberries, you coaxed him into the bathtub with you as you put in your most promising bath bomb as he settled in behind you in the hot waters and held you as you watched it melt and fizz, the heavenly aroma filling the bathroom as Haralds hands lovingly stroked your body, not in a sexual way perse but definitely in a comfortable intimacy way. LIke you were a priceless pearl or gem he was enjoying running his fingers over every facet and appreciating each one and how it made the jem itself shine and you couldn’t help but smile. So many little things that were his way of saying ‘I love you’ without saying a word.

You stayed in the tub till the water got luke warm and your fingers were pruney, you heard the first splatter of rain on the roof and by the time you had drained the tub and gotten dressed in your new pajamas, the storm had settled in. A few cracks of thunder and lightning and the down pour was splattering on the roof and relaxing you further as Harald dressed in a matching pajama set and a robe and slippers that were the masculine compliment to yours before you went back downstairs to start that fire in the living room as you sat on the couch and finally got that soft throw blanket to go over you and him as the fire roared to life, the sounds of the rain hitting the roof, the rumble of thunder that you could almost feel in your chest, the occasional flash of lighting, the heavy rains pounding the roof and the soft loving comfort of Harald’s arms as you cuddled together, watching the fire.

Soon enough you were practically falling asleep.

“Come on, you’ve had a big day, into bed with you.” He gently urged you as you sluggishly got off the couch and happily took his hand as he led you upstairs, helped you shed off your robe and slip into bed, the cool sheets were welcoming and looking up through the skylight, you could almost see the splattering of rain when the lightning crashed before Harald had you snuggle into his side.

And in no time, you drifted off the sleep, in your savior’s arms. Warm and perfectly comfortable.

#Modern Vikings au #harald finehair x reader #harald finehair imagine #something relatively short #but super sweet #comfort #no more hurt #just comfort damn it #Vikings #History Vikings #@waiting4inspiration #this is all for you Darling #because I love you #I got you #And this is as close to a hug as I can give you #So let your imagination do the hugging.#You're gonna be ok. You don't have to thrive #just survive #that's all you gotta do.

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lateknightsimmer · 4 years ago

Text

Sims Tag Game

Rules:

Pick a sim of your choice

Tell us about them

Tag someone else (if you want to!)

I was tagged by @lilyshadowwriter to do the Sims Tag Game. Aww, haha, my first little thing I’ve been tagged in since I started paying attention to my Tumblr again. Thanks! You’re a sweetie. I’ll tag @freckled-pixels because I ♥ wuv her. LOL.

I’m choosing my Generation 3 heir from Echoes of Eternity, the current generation I’m writing.

Name: Armand Decimus Hunt

When is your sim’s birthday? Mimicking LilyShadow here, I’m a bad Sim Mom. I have a super nerdy reference sheet of everyone’s ages, from Generation 1 - Generation 3 (both main and supporting characters, yes like I said I’m super nerdy), but I didn’t give them any specific birthdays. I do know that as of the most recent chapter, Armand is 22.

What is your sim’s zodiac sign? *has to go in game to look it up* *pretty sure I just randomized it* *so if Armand’s personality that I wrote has nothing to do with his zodiac sign, that’s fucking why* ---- VIRGO.

Marital Status: Single.

Does your sim have any nicknames? No. I have bad RL experiences with nicknames, so I tend to not nickname my Sims either. Unless it’s like an obvious shortening that’s something like Maximus (my legacy founder), and he gets called Max. But no nicknames like he has a quirk, so he gets a nickname. None of that shit. LOL. Armand’s name is two syllables and calling him “Arm” or “And” just sounds stupid. LOL.

Do they have a job? Armand just graduated from college, and he is still looking for a job.

Where does your sim live? Armand lives in this three story split level house in Twinbrook, Louisiana.

Who does your sim live with? Armand lives with his best friend, Remy, a Louisiana native.

What environment did your sim grow up in? Armand had a neglectful, spiteful mother, and a kind, loving father. They couldn’t have been more polar opposite from each other. Literal environment wise, Armand grew up in Silicon Shores, California.

What is your sim’s favorite food? *goes in game again to look because doesn’t know* *again probably randomized* *shitty Sim Mom, knows it* --- GRILLED SALMON. Armand is damn fancy.

What is your sim’s favorite drink? Alcohol - Armand likes screwdrivers, they’re pretty simple yet delicious. Non-Alcohol - Armand likes 2% milk.

If they have one, what is your sim’s favorite color? *goes in game again* *doesn’t know* *you know the drill now* --- LIME.

Is your sim introverted or extroverted? Introverted.

What is your sims favorite woohoo position? Armand enjoys being on top of the girl he’s woohoo-ing with so he can see her reactions. He wants his partner to have ultimate pleasure, and the girl’s face often reflects whether the pleasure is there or not.

Is your sim a pet person? No. Armand is often lost in thought in his head, he’s self-aware, but he has a lot of things to think about. He doesn’t really want to put his mind in a place where he might accidently neglect a pet just because he’s spacing off about something.

Does your sim have a best friend? Yes, Armand’s best friend is also his roommate, Remy.

What is / was your sim’s favorite school subject? Art class, anything that has to do with painting, drawing, or sketching.

Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? Armand just graduated from college. He’s been done for about a month.

Does your sim have a favorite TV show? Armand likes Penn & Teller’s Fool Us. It’s a magic show where Penn & Teller try to guess how a magician does his trick. They also give magicians whose tricks they cannot guess a chance to perform at their venue in Las Vegas. This is Armand’s favorite show because it reminds him of his father (a magician), whom he loves and adores dearly.

Does your sim like books? Armand has mixed feelings about books. On one hand, they remind him of his terrible mother, but it’s not like he won’t touch the things. The memories suck, but he did read his textbooks when he needed to for college. However, he wouldn’t turn to books for fun.

What is your sim’s personal style? Armand has a bit of a rock star style, he has some shirts that are ripped in just the right places, and he’s not afraid to wear something that looks a little messy. Armand’s family has a dark hot pink hair gene, started from his great-grandfather, Alexander Hunt, which makes Armand not shy away from bright colors in his outfits.

Is your sim religious? Not really. Patrick (Armand’s father) raised Armand with good values, but they weren’t tied to religious ideals. Although some of them might have similar ideals, like treat others with kindness and respect, it wasn’t religion that was the driving force behind it.

What kind of music does your sim listen to? Armand likes when he plays the guitar, although he hasn’t written anything himself, he does like what he plays. He also likes pop music, like the song Ghost by Ella Henderson.

What is your sim’s favorite type of weather? Armand likes California weather, sunshine, a light breeze, 70s for the high, 40s for the low. He doesn’t like a lot of humidity, he’s finding out as he lives in Louisiana for now. LOL.

Does your sim have a dream job? Armand would love to paint and be a famous artist, selling his art to high end galleries. He just wants to let his creativity out and be paid for it. LOL.

Does your sim have any siblings? No. Armand’s parents didn’t get along very well after he was born, so they never came together long enough to make or want to make any siblings for their son.

Does your sim get along with their family? Yes and no. Armand’s always gotten along with his father, grandfather, and grandmother. He never got along with his mother, who is now deceased. He does get along with his new step-mother.

What is your sims favorite hobby? Armand loves to sing and play his guitar.

What does your sim look for in a romantic partner? For now, Armand has just been playing the field, he’s slept with a few women without searching too hard for romance. All he knows is he doesn’t want anyone who remotely resembles his crazy dead mother.

What is a flaw your sim has? Armand has a traumatic past so he has a bad habit of getting into cycles where his brain makes him think he hates himself and that he’s worthless. He knows at this point that none of that is true, and he’s working on it.

Does your sim have a greatest achievement? Armand is still young and he has his whole life ahead of him, but he would probably say his greatest achievement for now, is that he was able to overcome the bad memories that he associated with his childhood home. He recently visited his parents’ home for Thanksgiving break and he was able to feel happy while being in that house, which is something he’d never been able to do until now.

If they have one, what is your sim’s greatest regret? Armand’s mom died young, and their relationship had always been super shitty. His regret is that he couldn’t patch things up with her (if that was even possible) while she was alive.

Wooo! Thanks for tagging me! ♥ This was great fun.

#Lilyshadowwriter #freckled-pixels #OC #Armand Decimus #TS3 #EchoesofEternity

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asexual-agent-2 · 4 years ago

Note

For the micro stories: 13

13: too loud

there’s only one thing i think of when i think about loudness in this world

they’ve only known each other a handful of weeks in this one, which is why marina doesn’t speak very well yet

also writing pearl without a sailor mouth is...difficult. probably bc i have one myself, lol

“Alright, lemme show you how this works, k?” Pearl said, as she inserted a credit into the machine. “You give it one of those, you pick the song with this,” she pointed the remote at the TV, “and you sing. That easy.”

She picked one of the microphones out of its stand and held it out to Marina, who nodded at her and took it. She blew into it, then turned it on and blew again, that time satisfied with the result.

“Any requests?” Pearl asked, picking up the other microphone.

“Re-kest?”

“Dude, what d’ya wanna sing? We got some Raft Punk, Diss-Pair - Squid Squad’s got a sorta easy metal song, y’wanna do that?”

Marina stared blankly at Pearl.

“Ok...I’ll pick first.” Pearl flicked through the selection. “Here, Metalopod’s pretty good, we’ll start there.”

The screen lit up with “MUSIC” and the song began. Pearl started tapping her foot to the killer drum beats and guitar riffs. Within twenty seconds “MUSIC” was replaced with lyrics, white then changing color to yellow.

Marina didn’t usually have a particularly terrible time understanding Pearl, but the words she was singing were nigh incomprehensible. The on-screen lyrics might have helped, but she wasn’t as familiar with Inklish text as she’d like to have been. Still, Pearl was a pretty decent singer. Marina smiled at the short squid. This “start a band” thing was going to be fantastic.

And then the chorus started.

Marina threw her microphone at the karaoke machine and shoved her fingers in her ears as Pearl belted out earth-shattering notes. The microphone in her hand popped and the TV turned to static. Marina fell to the floor in a ball as the speakers hooked up to the monitor blew out. She would have sworn the room was actually shaking from the sheer magnitude of Pearl’s voice.

The music came to an early end long before Pearl realized what she’d done. She ended her part of the chorus and went to breathe for the next part of the song, then stopped short and looked around at her work.

“Oops.”

~~~

“Ok, so that’s another karaoke bar I’m banned from. Man, I gotta get my own machine.”

Marina couldn’t take her eyes off Pearl as they walked down Conch Street, away from the wreckage she’d caused.

“Yeah, so when I said I don’t actually play a lot of venues...that’s kinda why. No one’s got good equipment.”

“The ‘quipment.” She’s blaming the equipment? Really?

“I haven’t found one place that actually has a mic that can handle me! The owners are always like ‘You’re too loud,’ or somethin’, well maybe your machines are too wimpy, ever think about that?” Pearl poutily shoved her hands in her jeans pockets and hunched across the intersection.

Marina played with her glove. “You’re good singer. Maybe try quieting…?”

“I’m not gonna just say my bars, Marina. I get in that zone, I’m not holding back! Takes away from my realness. You come for the authentic Pearl, none of that fake stuff.”

“I see.”

“That’d be like asking you not to spin sick beats, like, that doesn’t work!”

“Ok, I get.”

“Yeah.”

SIlence fell between them until they reached the intersection where their paths diverged. They bid each other goodnight and Marina headed home on her own.

If Pearl could do that to all the equipment in the karaoke room, then all their aspirations, not to mention Marina’s turntables, were in jeopardy.

Marina closed the door to her apartment and leaned against it, slid down the wall and sighed.

She wondered just how long the list of venues Pearl was banned from actually was. Would anyone in the city book them? How were they supposed to actually get their stuff out there if they couldn’t actually record? If this was how things were going to go, maybe they should throw it all in now.

“What are you saying?” Marina asked herself out loud. Throw it in? Give up?

She didn’t give up.

When her first attempts at flooders were spinning out of control, falling off platforms and completely drenching her test squadron, did she give up? No! She went back to the drawing board! She tuned them, she fixed their rotational speed, she adjusted their ink pressure! She made them work.

She wrote music by ear on a half-broken keyboard. She helped find the most efficient way to cultivate wasabi underground. She clawed her way up here to chase that something more she didn’t know she was missing.

A cacophonic inkling should be no problem at all.

Marina got to her feet and moved a stack of music sheets to uncover a pad of blueprint paper. She rummaged around a few piles of other nonsense to find the microphone that the seller of the old turntables threw in. On her tiny kitchen table she found a nubby pencil.

Vowing to spend time cleaning the apartment...eventually, Marina got to work.

~~~

“So it’s like a fancy pop filter?” Pearl asked, turning the microphone over in her hands.

Marina blinked sleepily at her. “Yeh.”

“Sweet. Turn this sucker on, test it out!” Pearl plugged the device into an amp in her recording studio. Marina made no attempt to hide her fingers going right back in her ears. “Marina, have some faith in yourself. If this works, you’re a genius!”

“If.”

Pearl turned the microphone on and mulled over what she should sing. After a few seconds, she shrugged. “Imma just freestyle. Can I get a beat, DJ?”

Marina started drumming slowly on the table. Pearl bobbed her head to the rhythm and started.

“Yo, check it, got a brand new mic, yeah, my partner made it and it feels alright, yeah / not gonna break $#!%, not gonna get banned, look out Inkopolis, cause here the #$@* comes our band!”

The noise levels still hurt Marina’s ears, but the world wasn’t shaking - only the amp, and maybe the lights. Noise-cancelling earphones were easier to get her hands on than noise cancelling amplifiers.

Pearl shook a tentacle out of her face and looked Marina dead in the eyes. “Test one two?” she said in an indoor voice. Both their faces broke into huge grins as they realized the words were coming out of the amp and not just Pearl’s mouth.

Pearl threw her hands in the air and let out a whoop. “Told you you’re a genius!” she yelled, throwing her arm around Marina’s shoulders. “Girl, this city isn’t gonna know what hit it! Could even polish those bars, maybe fix ...Marina?”

Pearl shook Marina’s arm and she jerked back to reality. “Yeah?”

“Alright, dude, let’s let that big brain of yours rest a bit, you can use my room, I’ll keep my brothers away.” She laid the microphone on the table, pulled Marina to her feet and led her out the door and up the stairs to the main house.

“Hey, so, like, I don’t wanna ask too much of you right now, but you think you can make a headset model? Obvs not this second, but like, one of these days?”

Marina yawned. “I look what I can do.”

#snailvibes #splatoon #off the hook #pearl #marina #creative tag

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bellalikeskitties · 4 years ago

Text

the queen ☾ pt. 1

nct mafia au \ mentions of violence and contains strong language

the most powerful woman with an army and 21 men to her bidding, she is the queen

word count: 1.5k+

pt. 0 / pt. 1 /

The House was a wonderful place. It had 3 gardens, an indoor pool, garage space for at least a hundred cars, and guns. The House was massive and was where everyone stayed, for better contact purposes of course. Its halls were clean and fancy, it felt like a castle for those who haven't seen what they truly did. It was a beautiful place quite opposite to the things they did in it.

Taeil was always busy in the morning. He rarely joined their missions now. He stayed at home, tending to what was needed. Here he was, as the early sun peaked through the windows, changing the flowers from different vases. It was his second favorite job, only because it was the only time where the boys didn't bother him. He walked within the halls, fresh flowers in his hand, and headed towards her quarters.

Knocking before entering, he stepped inside quietly. "Hey angel, it's time to wake up." The sheets shuffled and she rose quietly. "Ah". This was his favorite job, watching her wake up. She looked so perfect, the sun hitting her lovely skin, it looked like she was glowing. Her hair cascading over her body like silk. She was a goddess to him.

"Hyung, what time is it?", another figure rises from her bed. Taeil's jaws clench. "Johnny, what are you doing here?". He laughs in reply, "I think you know what I'm doing here, Hyung". He points to both their naked figures and tries to get the blonde back into bed. She gently pushed the covers off as the two men continued to bicker in the background.

"What are those for?". She points to the flowers in Taeil's hands as she ties her hair up. The men stop their quarrel. "Oh, I wanted to change the flowers from last week." She hums as she slides over a new pair of underwear. "Psh, angel. If you want flowers, I could buy you a whole shop filled with it!"

She ignores his comment and Taeil laughs. "I believe you have my schedule for today?". The older man nods and clears his throat. "A meeting with newbies at around 8 today and a business meeting tonight with a few potential partners. I'll have your dress ready by then". She slips a blazer on and smiles. "Thank you so much, Taeil". She leaves a kiss on his lips before reaching to give Johnny one too.

"See you both later," she leaves the room and both boys are dazed. "How the fuck can she look that sexy?".

Now it was her turn to walk along the hallways, but this time it was different. Unlike the sweet air it had when Taeil walked, it was now filled with authority and power. She was powerful. The once empty hallways were now filled with workers and 'staff', all whispering and glancing at her.

After all, she was the Queen. She was the most powerful and most feared person at the moment. Everyone knew who she was and anyone who didn't was bound for trouble. She was the top of the food chain, resting upon a bloodied throne that sat on thousands of dead bodies, and everyone who tried to harm her had run into death.

She smiled at those who whispered and greeted them politely. Yes, she was powerful but she had her manners. But for now, she was running late for her first meeting today.

"Sorry, I must be late". She opened the doors, and the sounds of bullets ricocheting stopped briefly before Lucas blew into the whistle again. "It's fine, you didn't need to come here if you were busy". Haechan reaches for her and she sits down beside him. "No, I know Taeyong just wants to be sure".

Her eyes fixate on the people who were shooting. 'His form isn't right, that must hurt his shoulder'. She walks over to the male trainee. "Hold it like this and relax your left arm a bit, darling". She touches his arm and he's surprised but he follows her instructions.

He finally makes a clear shot and he smiles, "Thank you, ma'am!". Pure laughter is heard from her. "What's your name, baby?". He blushes at the nickname but responds well, "Chenle ma'am". She hums and glances at Lucas. "Okay, Chenle! See you next time darling!". He bows at her and goes to Lucas. He sighs, knowing what's she going to say. "Put him under my team ASAP. He's such a cute little boy". She giggles.

Now, Haechan and Lucas both sigh. Knowing she just wanted to corrupt him. "Noted, moving #37 under your command unit". She pecks their cheeks in glee. "Yay, thank you! See you both later". She beams and leaves the room for her next appointment.

She arrives in her office, a dress laid on the desk. "That's for you, ma'am". Her assistant, Suga, informs her and stands to the side. "What's the agenda tonight, Suga?". He stealthily flips through papers and briefly explains the meeting she's supposed to attend. "Thank you. That's it for today, you can head home". He bows and leaves the room. She sighs looking at the dress. It was pretty, more revealing, but still pretty. "I wonder how Taeil even gets these". Her hands skim over the fabric. "Let's take you for a drive, okay?".

The moon is high and the streets are still packed. This part of town was the busiest at night. With high-end clubs and bars. Music blasted from the buildings and people lined to get in. Four figures emerge from a car and head straight to the entrance of one club.

People shout their complaints as Jeno whispered to the bouncer. Johnny and Jaehyun, on the other hand, are standing next to her, almost protecting her from the public. "Sorry guys!", they wave to the group and enter the club without identification. The inside was crowded and noisy. While Jaehyun left the group to talk to one of the servers, the rest watched the crowd. They followed people dancing and taking shots, left and right.

Her nose crinkled at the smell of hard liquor and Johnny laughed. "Let's go". Jaehyun signaled and they immediately moved. Jaehyun in front, Johnny and Jeno to the side, with her in the center. They moved through the building and finally reached a room with a view of the floor. People were already waiting inside. A middle-aged man stood up and greeted them, while a few men stood behind him. "Hello, welcome! How was the club? I'm hoping it wasn't hard to get in?". The youngest stepped in front to shake hands with him and he gestured for them to take a seat.

Before she could even take place between the men, Johnny grabbed her waist and settled her in his lap. She didn't mind, more so she felt more comfortable. They talked thoroughly, about some shipments and other things she didn't want to hear. She merely watched Jeno talk and drew patterns on Johnny's chest.

Her presence wasn't needed, but Jeno was going. Jeno was in her unit and wanted to make sure he was doing fine with the big boys. With a smile on her face, she watched as the youngest's brows furrowed at the clear one-sided deal the man was making. Fortunately, Jaehyun made better. The man couldn't help but agree to what he said. Jaehyun had a way with his words, his face making them even more trusted. She watched the words fall out his mouth like a song and the deal was done. She turned away from them and focused on the weird patterns she was writing on Johnny. He laughs, "Are you drawing, angel?". Across the table, the man watched.

"Ah, she must be one of your escorts. I heard your 'company' doesn't like the idea of escorts, but she must make an exception due to how she looks". He laughs and Jeno also obviously lets out a low chuckle.

Johnny strokes her thighs and she also smiles. "Yes, we don't like escorts. But she's a real deal-breaker. Want her too?". He asks them and they laugh. She giggles and plays along. She walks to their side of the table and sits on their lap, leaning towards his ear. "I'm not their fucking escort. I'm their Queen, darling." The three men on the other side erupt in laughter and they watch the man's face contort. He tries to pry himself from her touch. "I apologize. We didn't expect the Queen to be with us. Please pardon me for what I said". He chokes an apology and Jaehyun picks her from his lap.

"I think that's enough for today, angel". Jaehyun says and the two other men stand up. She pouts a bit. "Okay, Jae. Bye-bye, darling! See you soon!" She waves at them as they leave the room.

Johnny's the first to laugh. "An escort? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard about you!". She huffs and the two join his antics. "No one ever expects to see her anyways". Leaning into Jaehyun's body, she clicks her tongue. "Do I really look like an escort?". They stop laughing and look at her. "No, angel. You're too pretty and mayhaps deadly to be just an escort". Jaehyun pecks her forehead. "Yeah, our Queen is an amazing person!". Jeno raises his arms energetically and she laughs. "Hm, I guess so".

yay, part 1 <3

#nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #wayv #nct fic #nct #the queen #mafia #mafia au #nct mafia au #nct scenario #nct imagine #nct au #bellalikeskitties

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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years ago

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I'd love to see what you do with that imagine I had about how Arthur treats me during one of my bad depression days. Thank you so much love!

A link to the imagine that @amalthea9 mentions is HERE. I used this as inspiration for this piece; I hope it’s what you were after! Just know that even if all you can do on any given day is wake up, Arthur would be so proud of you. He gets it. He sees and he loves you.

I wrote this for everyone who needs some comfort. I drew upon a dark place in me to write this, so I’m feeling a bit fragile now. However, if it comforts you, then it’s worth it. Please know I’m always here for anyone who wants to talk to me about anything. Even if there’s nothing I can do, just knowing that someone is listening can mean the world.

Look after yourself, my loves, and treat yourself the way Arthur would want you to. You can do it. He knows you can.

Water is a key theme in this imagine, because it’s large and heavy and it can easily consume you; I thought it very relevant. To even fit in with the theme, I cried, too, though that was more of a byproduct than an actual intent. Do let me know what you think x

Italics = That’s Life. Frank Sinatra.

Word count: 1, 457.

“Oh, love,” Arthur sighed from the doorway of your shared bedroom.

You were lying in exactly the same position that he had left you in this morning. Your hair was tangled and needed a wash, you were wearing three day old pyjamas, and you had been sleeping on and off for most of the day. The blankets that lay over your curled up form were just as heavy as the rain clouds in your heart; your soul was weighted down by all that water, and though much of it was dispelled out of your tear ducts, nothing was helping you.

It wasn’t a physical malady which had kept you in bed all day, but an ailment of the mind, and they were so much more dangerous than any physical one.

You barely reacted to Arthur’s greeting, even as he walked over to the bed and toed his shoes off. He had been at work for sixteen hours, but no matter how exhausted he felt, nothing distressed him more than seeing you so beaten down and weathered by the world. Reality was cruel, humans were underhanded, and the demons inside your mind poisoned you against yourself every which way.

Slowly did Arthur climb under the sheets, face paint still clinging to the sharp corners of his angelic face, and tenderly did he reach over to touch your shoulder. You jumped under his touch and the corners of his mouth turned downwards. You rolled, then, and the sight of the raw pain, the torment in your eyes, made Arthur’s heart catch in his throat. Unbidden did his own tears spring to his eyes, and as they rolled down his cheeks, you reached out gently and brushed his tears away.

“Please don’t cry.” You murmured, shuffling close enough that Arthur was able to wrap his arms around you and bring you tightly into his chest. His nose inhaled your scent and he closed his eyes, feeling wave after wave of sadness and sorrow, anger and rage, and a darkness which was altogether frightening in the way it threatened to take over every part of him.

He laughed exactly once without humour and the noise threatened to break you out of your mood faster than anything else that he could have done. Instead, you pushed one of your legs between his, and pulled yourself even closer. You were pressed against every line of him, and the fading smell of cigarettes and the subtle scent of his cologne filled your senses.

The feeling of coming home consumed you and you closed your eyes, just letting the vicious waters of your mind settle into a calmer tide.

“I said, that’s life and as funny as it may seemSome people get their kicksStompin’ on a dreamBut I don’t let it, let it get me down‘Cause this fine old world it keeps spinnin’ around.” Arthur sung softly, his nose still buried in your greasy hair, and as he sang, his slender fingers tapped the beat, his digits dancing up and down your spine. It was making you smile, he was making you smile. He had no idea the power he had over you, what he was able to do to you just by being himself.

“How was your day?” You were desperate to not only hear Arthur’s voice as his song faded out - it seemed he had sung that particular part on purpose, wanting to tell you something the only way in which he felt free to express himself; music was in his soul and he showed it to you so often - but also you felt a genuine need to know how he was feeling. How could you lay there and take comfort from him, if he was himself needing that which he was so selflessly giving to you? It wouldn’t be the first time that you would comfort each other by giving and taking in equal measures, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last time. You loved every part of your relationship together.

“It was fine,” Arthur sighed casually, attempting to distract you by placing a tender kiss to your forehead.

“Liar,” You smiled despite yourself. “Tell me about it.”

So he did. Arthur told you all about his day, and when he got to the part about Hoyt being rude and callous to him, you peppered his face with kisses, running your fingers through his hair and making sure that he knew just how loved he was. Depression was a companion in your relationship, but it was an unwelcome one, and together would the two of you act as an anchor for the other; if one went down, the other would too. You were perfectly balanced on the deep waters of life, and together would you always come out victorious.

Some time later, when Arthur had told you all that he had thought about during the day, all the things he had daydreamed about doing with you - coming home to you, having dinner together, laying just like this afterwards, maybe dancing when the Murray Show was finished - and all the jokes he had thought of that day (he earned himself one or two genuine chuckles, and then was he able to relax as he breathed in deeply with his whole body; no day was a good day without hearing your laugh… it was simply a day), the two of you lapsed into silence.

You had nothing to say. Arthur knew what was going on in your mind, so familiar was he to the very same ailment, and so there was little point in talking about it. That continuous heavy feeling deep within you when you woke up and when you went to bed never went away. You woke with it and you slept with it, and always was it there, come rain or shine. It seemed you could never shift it away for long.

“It’s okay, you know.” Arthur held your face gently in his hands as he pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. You wrinkled your nose and he giggled at how cute you were.

“What is?”

“Staying in bed all day. I don’t know,” he exhaled roughly, his breath washing over your face. He smelled of cigarettes and cheap coffee and instantly did you know that he hadn’t eaten all day. Again. “Sometimes you just gotta… be.” He spoke like he was confessing a secret to you, and again were you forced to realise the depths of Arthur’s own oceans, the bottoms of which were forbidden, murky and altogether uncharted. Not even he was aware of just what was below the surface of his psyche’s iceberg, and it seemed almost instinctive for you to know that never should he discover what was hidden there; you had a feeling it would tip him over what precipice he spent his life desperately clinging to.

You would always be there to extend a hand to him, to pull him up beside you, where he belonged.

Some time later did Arthur leave your safe haven to get some food for the both of you. It wasn’t anything fancy or even especially healthy; just some packet macaroni cheese that he could easily whip up without having to be away from you for too long. You protested, saying that you weren’t hungry (and thinking of your physical appearance at the same time), but Arthur fixed you with a look that left no room for argument. Holding your gaze firmly in his did he lift his spoon to his lips, taking a bite. He chewed exactly three times before he swallowed, and only after he saw you copy his movements did he allow you to look away, to escape his silent scrutiny.

You ate slowly, without feeling, but Arthur made it known just how proud he was of you. He whisked your bowl away, planting a kiss on the top of your head, and almost as soon as he was gone was he back, practically throwing himself down beside you as he pulled you safely into the cage of his embrace. You simply lay together, lost inside your own minds, but you kept each other grounded with caresses, kisses and soft smiles.

You weren’t okay and you likely wouldn’t be for some time, but even if all you could do in a given day was wake up, Arthur would be right there beside you cheering you on. He loved you and, no matter how tempestuous your storms became, no matter how rocky your shores washed up as, he would be holding your hand the whole time.

You were his Y/N and for that simple fact, he would go to the ends of the earth for you.

The Arthur Fleck/Joker Defense Squad @writings-of-a-gen-z @x-avantgarde-x @mapreza1 @insomniabird @mavalenovaninagavi @itwasrealenough @morrisonmercurymalek @rand0ms-fand0ms @rafaelina-casillas @aclownthing @rebs-doom @vivft @help-i-am-obssessed @autumnaffection @taintednihilist @vladtoly @mg-woolf99 @misstgrey92 @that-s-life @dopey-girl-blogs @seeking-dreamland @sweetheart-syndrome @heartxfdesire @xmusichealsthesoulx @0callmejude0 @the-one-that-likes-riddles @hannibalsslut @folliaght @freeeshavacadoo @bingewatchingmylifegoby @unlovedbyeveryoneandeverything @okamiredfoxx @sp0okysp0oky @the-pandorabox @mardema @jibanyyan @honeyflvredcoughdrop @emissarydecksetter @jokerfleckk @epidendroideae @chuuntas @stillmabel @pumpkinpeyes@onehystericalqueenposts @the-jokers-wolf @nalsswa @justahyena @arianatheangelworld @soullessblondbitch @gothamslittlejester @twentyonestarrynights @sirianfromsixties @kissmeclownman @joker-is-my-hero @lazyloosah @lovesickkloxx @ladylovelyluna

#amalthea9 #Requests closed #arthur fleck #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck x reader #joker #joker imagine #joker x reader #joker 2019 #joker 2019 imagine #tw; depression #todd phillips #joaquin phoenix #Joaquin phoenix joker #joaquin phoenix x reader #joaquin phoenix imagine #phoenix!joker #phoenix!joker x reader #phoenix!joker imagine

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