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iamjjmmma · 4 years ago

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My Own MBTI Test (Yes, You Can Call It JJ’s MBTI Test)

Usually, I only use this account for SU purposes. However, I don’t have any other ideas as to where to post this other than my own website I don’t have the time or mental wherewithal to create as of now, and I really don’t want it hanging around in my docs in the chance of being deleted.

Basically, I made this due to the idea that MBTI tests you can find on the Internet tend to be clunky and long. Sure, they allow for variety, which allows for complexity in discerning your personality, but this also makes for what can be a frustratingly long experience. That being said, because of this test’s binary nature, it may not be completely accurate. However, it will make an attempt to distinguish both your general MBTI type and your specific composition of each of the four letters. As usual, let me know if you find anything wrong with the test.

Without further ado, let’s begin. For ease of taking the test, you can copy and paste, open a new post, and then bold what applies to you before reblogging it. Make sure to credit me.

General (this is used to obtain your type. Because of the binary nature of types, you must pick the one that most closely applies to you).

It’s been a long, mind-numbing, draining day at work. Your friends call and ask you to join them for a night on the town, with them covering all the costs. What do you say?

A: “No, thank you!”. Then, you settle in for a nice night of watching movies, eating comfort food, and having a hot bath. (Introvert)

B: “Sure!”. You then have fun with your friends. (Extrovert)

Would you rather have a career in which you work with your...

A: Hands (Sensory)

B: Mind (iNtuitive)?

Head or heart?

A: Head (Thinking)

B: Heart (Feeling)

Would you say that you’re quick to jump to conclusions (this includes if you’re prone to saying, “I don’t know all the information and can’t form a perfect conclusion from that, BUT here’s the conclusion I do have…”), or is it more natural to you not to form an opinion until you’ve examined every possible source? Be honest.

A: The Former (Judging)

B: The Latter (Perceiving)

The capital letter at the beginning determines your type (except for iNtuitive). For example, if you picked B, B, B, A, then your letters would be E, N, F, and J (ENFJ). Go back through the test now, see what you picked, and write your letters down accordingly.

Now, if you’d like a specific composition of how introverted and extroverted you are, then you need to take four more tests. (Don’t worry, it’ll still be shorter, and easier, than the vast majority of MBTI tests you find online.)

The Introvert/Extrovert Composition Test:

Which would you prefer to do on the weekends with no prior plans?

A: Have a deep, personal, one-on-one day spent with your best friend

B: Have a fun, but not too personal, outing spent with a group of friends

Where are you more productive?

A: Someplace quiet

B: Someplace loud

How would you describe yourself in terms of your speech?

A: Reserved, taciturn, reticent

B: Outgoing, talkative, jovial

When you want a friendship, you..

A: Wait for someone to take the initiative for you, and then eagerly join that friendship

B: Take the initiative yourself

In general, which are you more prone to feeling in social situations?

A: Overwhelmed, overstimulated

B: Bored, understimulated

Where would you prefer to be?

A: In the background, where you can lie low

B: In the center of attention, where you can show off

How do you feel when talking to people you’ve never met before?

A: Awkward

B: Energized

You tend to get more joy out of...

A: Reading a book at home

B: Watching a movie at a movie theater

At work, you’re seen as someone who’s..

A: Timid and meek

B: Brash and perhaps seen by others as overbearing

Finally, in general, after social interaction, you feel...

A: Drained

B: Satisfied/wanting more

Obviously, if you chose A more often, you’re more introverted, and if you chose B more often, you’re more extroverted. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if you, in that ENFJ example, circle A 3 times and B 7 times, then your introvert/extrovert composition would be 30% introverted, 70% extroverted. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, don’t automatically assume you’re an ambivert. True ambiverts are in fact incredibly rare, and you’re better off going with what you chose on good ol’ question 10 to determine whether or not you’re an introvert or an extrovert. You just swing very slightly that way and may have ambiverted functions, that’s all. In addition, pure introverts and pure extroverts are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line: everyone has some introversion and some extroversion.)

The Sensory/iNtuition Composition Test

How well do you tend to remember events from your past?

A: Very well

B: Poorly

In general, do you focus on the here and now, or do you tend to get distracted by other timeframes?

A: Here and now

B: Other timeframes

Do you often dwell on the past?

A: No

B: Yes

Do you often dwell on the future?

A: No

B: Yes

Which of the following beliefs best applies to you?

A: “I am who I am thanks to the past, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.”

B: “Who I am now is who I am now. The past doesn’t matter.”

Your romantic relationships with others are mostly driven by?

A: Your differences from the other person

B: Your similarities to the other person

What grades did you/are you getting in school?

A: Mostly C’s, D’s, F’s

B: Mostly C’s, B’s, A’s

Someone who is fundamentally incompetent in your field, but very high-ranking, and someone who is very low-ranking, but is shown to be fundamentally very competent in skills related to your field, are both making conversation with you, acting very condescending in the process. Which one would you kick out of the room first?

A: The low-ranking one

B: The one who is fundamentally incompetent in your field

Would you describe yourself as more results-oriented or more process-oriented?

A: Process-oriented

B: Results-oriented

Finally, would you describe yourself as someone who prefers to be more concrete or more abstract?

A: Concrete

B: Abstract

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more sensory, and if you chose B more often, you’re more intuitive. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 1 time and B 9 times, then their sensory/intuitive composition would be 10/90. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of sensory input and intuition. In addition, pure sensors and pure intuitives are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like in the introverted/extroverted test: everyone has some sensory and some intuitive preferences.)

The Thinking/Feeling Test. Possibly the easiest test you’ll take among these four.

You have an unlikely dream you want to pursue, such as being a famous musician without any income to help get you off the ground. Do you pursue it?

A: No

B: Yes

Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who’s guaranteed to give you a financially stable existence or be in a relationship with someone that you’re completely, utterly, madly in love with?

A: The former

B: The latter

Your business is doing poorly, and one of your employees is in danger of being laid off. You have just enough money in your bank account to keep him afloat in your company, but that’s just about all the money that you have. What do you do?

A: Fire him. It’s the tough choice, but the choice you’ll have to make for the good of everyone involved, including the employee.

B: Give him the money. It’s what he would’ve done for you, and there’s always ways to find more money through your family and friends.

Would you rather be alone forever or settle with a partner who is less than ideal for you?

A: Be alone forever

B: Settle for a partner who is less than ideal for me

Your friends invite you for a surprise trip across the country, visiting all of the places on everyone’s bucket list! However, this will require you taking 3-4 weeks off of work, as well as paying for all of your travel expenses, and perhaps some of your friends’, out of pocket. What do you do?

A: Decline the offer.

B: Accept the offer.

How do you react when you’re grieving?

A: I do my best to suppress my emotions and get myself and my family out of this crisis. I can go through my emotions later.

B: Go through my emotions as soon as I can. The sooner I do that, the sooner I can move on and help others move on as well.

Would you describe yourself as more liberal or conservative? (If you’re a centrist, just pick the closest one you lean to.)

A: Conservative

B: Liberal

Do you believe in soulmates?

A: No- there are over 4 billion adults on this planet. Statistically, there’s no way I can possibly meet them all, let alone whittle it down to the one person out of everyone who’s most ideal for me.

B: Yes, of course! Why else would someone choose to spend the rest of their lives with someone else?

It’s a Saturday night, you’re exhausted, and all you want to do is watch a movie. Which genre do you pick?

A: Something thought-provoking and based off of real events and concepts, such as a documentary or movies based on a true story.

B: Something unrealistic, but always sends you over the moon, such as a comedy or a romance.

Finally, what would you say personally rules over you the most?

A: My head

B: My heart

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more thinking, and if you chose B more often, you’re more feeling. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 5 times and B 5 times, then their thinking/feeling composition would be 50/50. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the second most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of being ruled by logic and being ruled by your emotions. In addition, pure thinkers and pure feelers are incredibly rare and are more caricatures than anything, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone is ruled to some capacity by logic, and to some capacity by their emotions.)

Finally, the Judging/Perceiving Composition Test.

You’ve just woken up in the morning, and you’re deciding what to do for the day. What are you most likely to do?

A: Make a to-do list

B: Just stay in tune with yourself and do whatever you’d like to do

You’ve just planned a trip to the East Coast, but a hurricane suddenly hits, as it often does, and all your plans for what you’re going to do for these next three days are ruined. How do you react to this?

A: With anger, constantly checking in to see if the hurricane will end, and making plans B, C, and D

B: In stride- hey, there was always a chance this could happen, and besides, this is a chance to stay in and play board games!

How do you approach work?

A: As work. Play can be saved for later.

B: As play- sometimes, I make it a game to see how quickly I can do tasks, see how many coffee breaks I can take without others noticing, or see what potential pranks i can lay on people.

In terms of priorities, how do you approach work?

A: Work is always first-priority. That way, what I want to do can be saved for later without further interruptions.

B: Work is always as far back in the priority list as possible- I don’t want to be a killjoy.

A new goal appears in front of you. How blind are you to things such as your immediate surroundings, new information, and the names and details of new people that come across you during this time?

A: Very

B: Not very much so; I can keep everything scoped in front of me

How do others tend to perceive you?

A: No-nonsense, structured, and rigid

B: Flexible, relaxed, and open for anything

Which of the following is closest to your work style?

A: In long-term efforts, with short breaks in between

B: In short bursts, with long breaks in between

An approaching deadline looms for one of your school assignments. What is your reaction?

A: Calm...I’ve done this assignment two weeks ago, and can now work ahead to work due later this month.

B: Panic...I’ve only gotten this halfway done, and I only have a few hours to do the rest!

Do you tend to make decisions the moment they’re needed?

A: Yes

B: No- often, I’m so busy sorting through the given information that I miss it when it happens

Finally, do you see yourself as someone who quickly makes judgements on certain issues, or someone who takes care to view every side of the argument before voicing an opinion?

A: The former

B: The latter

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more judging, and if you chose B more often, you’re more perceiving. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 7 times and B 3 times, then their judging/perceiving composition would be 70/30. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the third most common even split in all of these tests. However, this will end up changing your personality drastically, and may change most of your functioning style to the point where people sometimes see you as unpredictable or chaotic. In addition, pure judgers and pure perceivers are actually somewhat common. However, you should also take into consideration if that happens that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re still probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone judges, and everyone perceives.)

#mbti #personality test #i'm an estj #let me know what you guys got!

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hereitalkonandon · 6 years ago

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I always write something here because at this point it would look naked if I didn’t.

Yeah, of course I can tell you why I blocked you, I just thought that it would make sense coming from me because I've a lot of weird behaviors, and then I clearly don't dislike you so I didn't feel like you would even be curious and the story was long.

So I have two accounts and both have the same amount of posts more or less, but one is my personal account, it's one year older than the other, no one cares about it but that's the one that I love the most, I use it daily to post whatever I want but I also talk about my life sometimes, I never like anything with it. Then the other account, no one cares about it either but that's the one I use to like things and to follow a lot of people, sometimes I ignore it for months, as in I don't reblog anything, but I often like things. So I was obviously following you with that one.

I would often check your blog and steal a post or two to reblog with the account that I actually love, (I love the other one too but not as much) so I couldn't just reblog them from you because I don't approve of reblogging and reblogging from someone for months but somehow not following them. I don't actually care and I don’t mind if others do it, but I'm aware it might be odd, so I didn't do that with you because I knew I was checking on you.

With other people it doesn't matter, since I know I'm not checking on them, so who cares if I keep mysteriously reblogging and reblogging from them and never actually following them. So, both you and someone else could think the same thing, it would be the same action, but the difference is I didn't care with other people. I was also well aware that you wouldn't notice a thing even if I randomly made those reblogs, but that's how my brain works and it made me uncomfortable.

Then one day when I remembered it was Revenge of the Sith’s anniversary because I had seen it on your blog earlier, for whatever reason I thought I might as well follow you with that account too. But then I realized it was giving me a lot of anxiety, my follows are public, there are dark people out there, you are an attractive woman, you are interesting, cultured, smart, angry, I didn't want the dark people to get the wrong idea, and you wouldn't even notice if I clicked unfollow, it was as easy as that, so why not do it, so I did it.

Back then I loved to go through the Jaime and Cersei tags, you were often there, I actually found you years ago because of it as I've already told you. And I would use my other account to surf the tags, because I would mostly like posts, I don't use my favorite account to like things so it's pointless to surf tags with that one, I only copy the posts I really like and take them to my other account, well, that's now, when I first started I would reblog things nonstop, I still do now sometimes, but I feel them in my soul or something.

There are a lot of posts in both of my Tumblrs that now make me embarrassed or with thoughts that I don't even have anymore, but I refuse to delete them, so I can see how much I've changed even if I've always been the same person, and how I've changed my mind about some things.

You were not going to notice a thing, but I still knew what I was doing and it gave me anxiety, since I unfollowed you with my other account, I felt odd about liking one of your posts with my other account, you had no way to tell I owned both accounts, but I didn't care, that's not how my anxiety works, so I unfollowed you and blocked you, because I didn't want to accidentally like one of your posts while searching the Jaime and Cersei tags, I didn't have to block you with my favorite account because I never looked through the tags with that one so I obviously couldn't accidentally like any of your posts. And yeah it's just that simple and that stupid.

The whole letter was already written but I’m editing it and deleting things were I repeat myself and such, but I actually accidentally fell asleep for some hours right now after editing this part, so this letter will probably have a lot of dumb things that I won’t notice because I am so tired so I understand what you meant at the end of your letter.

At one point I even followed Victor because even if I didn't care for him I often found posts about trees and dumb stuff on his blog that I would steal and reblog from someone else, I was already checking on him because of you anyway. We were so different and I found him so boring, but I think I always found way more posts from him than from you, since I find you interesting as a person but I rarely personally like a post from you by itself, I do, but not as often as with his blog.

Of course he reblogged a lot of tacky things like Justin Bieber and dumb comedies. In this case, I wasn't reblogging them from someone else because I cared about Victor's opinion, it was precisely because I didn't want him to somehow think that I cared about what he was up to. Sort of, but only when it involved you.

Even if I didn't have anything against him either other than finding him dull as a person. I'm sure that even straight men have approached him because of his looks even if they obviously aren't attracted to him, his looks meant nothing to me, it offended me that he could think I found him interesting, what was there to find interesting other than that.

But once I followed him it didn't matter, I obviously kept reblogging from him because I was following him, and that would make sense to him. Maybe it didn't, because this one time he tagged me in some thing with some questions for people you would like to know better, since I had been reblogging a lot of trees and whatever from him I guess, he didn't say so, but I could imagine that was the reason.

I think one time I even reblogged this picture of a bowl of cereal that he was about to have in the bathtub or something, felt like something I would do, probably most people would eat like that. Perhaps he got the wrong idea because I reblogged a lot from him and he thought I was socializing, whatever it was I answered him because I hate being rude. I never ignore people when they talk to me, even if someone is insulting me I answer their insult, not because I care about being polite once they were rude, but because I’m just not into ignoring people, they are talking to me, why shouldn’t I answer.

I sent it as a personal message instead of as an ask because it was too long, and for some reason I also didn’t want to post the questions on my blog. You know how I love to talk and talk and talk so it was a single message but I hit the limit. He didn't never even bothered to tell me he read it, I was glad, I didn't actually want to talk to him. I probably didn't even want to talk to you back then, I found you interesting, but I'm never lonely and I didn't feel like I had anything to say that could interest you.

Ever since I joined Tumblr I would sometimes spend days reblogging a lot of things from someone, a lot of old posts and stuff, and they never thought anything of it, I was obviously just interested in their random pictures. Not that I know what he actually thought when I did it to him, but he is the only person to ever tag me or send me anything at all after doing something like that, other than a really nice woman from three years ago or so.

She just said hi and such and I talked a lot like I always do and overshared, she seemed to have a lot of anxiety too from stuff I saw on her blog and she told me she had been extremely depressed for years and for no reason I think, a mental illness probably even if she didn’t tell. She actually managed to talk like a normal person and was likely used to talking to everyone, so I think she either found me boring or was uncomfortable too and didn’t know how to handle me because I was uncomfortable myself and I kept justifying the way that I talked and clearly had no social skills.

So we exchanged some words for a day or two but she didn’t keep talking, then she sort of said hi once again months after that because I reblogged Halloween pictures nonstop and it was nowhere near Halloween, not from her but she was following me so she saw, 18 pages of Halloween pictures in a row I think, just like the first time we didn’t keep talking. And then she sent me some ask a year or so after that after being wrong about one of my posts about some stuff happening in real life and she thought it was online and was trying to be helpful and telling me I could report people on Tumblr, so I just told her that it wasn’t like that but thanked her and stuff.

You are the only case where I took the time because of the person and not the random pictures. But I unfollowed him after a month or three (by then I had already unfollowed you or maybe I hadn’t followed you with that account yet, I just remember I wasn’t following you at the same time) because he reblogged a picture of a white shirt that said "Killer", written with a Sharpie, it was from this one idiot that murdered a lot of teenagers and said, at his trial, while wearing it, something like "this hand that killed your children now masturbates at the memory of their deaths" in front of the parents of course.

I obviously hated that murderer, it somehow made me angry that Victor would be stupid enough to just reblog something like that without researching, I don't think he would have had reblogged it if he had known, so whatever, I clicked unfollow.

I kept checking on him sometimes, but because of you. Then you broke up and I kept checking for a while, but by then I actually had something against him, I don't care if he is a good person, I know he is, but I have contempt for all men that wish that stuff to women they claimed to love at some point. So I was so angry whenever I visited him and once I realized it was really over and that you didn't have anything to do with him, or that maybe you did elsewhere even if not romantically but it wouldn't show on his blog, I stopped visiting.

He is nothing to me so I'm obviously not carrying some grudge still, but I dislike him because of the way he spoke of you, as I would dislike any man that does that, as I've said. And I repeat that yes I did insult my ex-girlfriend but that was also the way that we talked to each other when we were together, and not like he did, I never wished her ill, that was the last thing I wanted for her.

This reminds me that another thing I hate is when a man was always respectful of his girlfriend and never used bad words with her but as soon as they break up he starts treating her differently and being extremely disrespectful. I was also disrespectful towards her during our relationship and she was like that towards me too. But I mean when men do that exclusively after the break up, to me it says “I don’t bother to respect you because I can no longer gain anything from you, I don’t make any effort because I won’t get anything out of it.”

So yeah, while he no longer makes me angry, my idea of him has been tarnished forever, but it doesn't matter if I’m being unfair because I never think of him if I'm not writing to you, and he doesn't need me, so it's okay if that's the idea I want to keep. But I truly hope he grows up anyway, I have no reason to wish he keeps behaving like that towards women when he breaks up with them, both for him and for the women. So, may he rest in peace. Also, I saw some anon you received at some point asking if you still thought of your ex, and they probably meant Victor, but I didn't send it.

No, I didn't find the poem because of my ex-girlfriend, I would love to read poetry if I didn't find most of it cheesy, but I always do, so I'm too lazy to look for poetry hoping that I will enjoy a poem or two, just as I’m lazy with movies when it comes to characters not having enough depth because of the duration of the average movie.

I found it because I had seen the quote "I see you in colors that don't exist" plenty of times, so when it started to remind me of you I wanted to see where it came from, if it was just a single quote, and sadly it was from a love poem (I was surprised when I saw that it barely had any comments since the quote was already so famous), so I felt that I couldn't send that line to you, I felt like sending an explanation along with the quote would be dumb, I ended up doing that eventually anyway.

That's probably why I memorized a fictional meaning, so much, that yesterday I thought that was actually what the poem was about even when I didn’t remember a thing about it, now I remember that back then I thought that from a stranger's point of view, if you sent her that quote, the poem was about your imaginary relationship with her and how painful it was even if I already knew that it was probably about a relationship that had actually happened but now the other person had moved on, it likely reminded me of my ex-girlfriend but I was also mostly convinced that she still loved me so I didn't relate to it. I found some parts of the poem cheesy, that's why I didn't care for it and forgot all about it but that one quote. I don't care about most poems. I love the idea of them but there's always something cheesy. I find most things cheesy too.

I was embarrassed, I am embarrassed when it comes to sharing good feelings, I can talk about romantic love forever and my positive feelings when it comes to that, it doesn't make me embarrassed, but most positive feelings that have nothing to do with romance or animals do.

The thing about the wall sound so like me, I didn't remember it but I do now that you have mentioned it. It was good then, there was violence. I don't use violence for that though, it's just a part of who I am and I'm angry most of the time, I was already like that before I met my ex-girlfriend and it never made me unhappy, it felt natural, I was comfortable with my anger, I don't think it will ever go away, it’s probably because of something hormonal and doesn’t have an actual reason.

I don’t have any problem that I am aware of, when I was about 20 my testosterone was extremely high. That was also the time when I kept pressuring my ex-girlfriend for sex after she was the one that finally started all the sexual stuff by herself probably tired that I never tried anything, but I stopped soon when she told me how it made her feel, I felt like I was going crazy and couldn’t think of anything else, only with her though, it never made me find other women attractive, so men that use that as an excuse to cheat are stupid.

And I would have trouble breathing when I was enraged and my chest would feel way too heavy, but the doctor said it happened sometimes and that it would probably fix itself and wasn’t too dangerous since I was young, and it did after a year, so I know for sure there’s nothing wrong anymore because even if I have trouble breathing I’ve never felt like I literally have to keep gasping nonstop, and I also only feel like I’ve trouble breathing when I’ve been pushed way too far, like with my neighbors but that’s because they make me so anxious too and they keep doing it all day long, anger isn’t normally physically painful anymore. I was also often angry since I was about 5, before any of that happened, that’s why I think it’s just there for no reason, like how some people have always been too lazy because it’s just who they are.

As I've told you though, I never use my fists against other men, I always try to solve my problems with words, and I've been lucky enough to never have someone try to punch me, because then I would have had to defend myself, because of my pride, of course. Lucky because that’s not the kind of person I want to be. I also know that if someone that I am sure is so much stronger than me, probably everyone since I’m too skinny, punched me, I would feel the need to keep punching him back while being fully aware that I will likely lose, yeah because of my pride. So I'm not really hurting anyone by being this way.

Oh I also asked you not to publish it because I thought that maybe you would rather not spam your blog, but that you would obviously answer me because you felt that you had to. And when I saw you mention the anon, also, I sent another anon because I felt that if I didn't perhaps it would look like that person wasn't checking on you anymore, not that it was an awful thing, but I was still doing it so I mentioned it.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave this city, sadly. But I'm planning on moving out, because I'm really desperate about the noises, as soon as I can, I don't know how soon, though, but if I could I would leave this week, it just doesn't sound that likely since I'm looking for a very specific place, somewhere I can be sure that I won't be annoyed by any noises again.

I just thought that maybe you had heard about Tijuana because of its reputation, but I'm glad that the situation isn't terrible enough to have reached most people, I think that's a good way of measuring, if something is that bad most people in the world have heard about it.

If it's water and it has waves then it's just as a good, I think. I like the night and the stars better, and forests and snow too, but I still love the sea. I used to go to the beach when I was a young boy, now I don't and I haven't been for many years, but I enjoy looking at beaches on the internet. Which is crazy because I have one here. Even if I don't visit it, to me it's always weird when I actually think of how some countries don't have beaches and people have to travel just to go to one.

I like my city enough if I ignore the criminals, but I like the look of U.S.A better, that's the only country I've visited, I don't think I know which place I would rather if both countries were just as safe. It has better buildings and better streets of course since they have way more money. I used to visit California a lot as a teenager and ever since I was a 3 or 4, I feel like Target was a friend of mine, I felt like crying when I wrote that, it's funny, I just really liked it, it's just some supermarket, but I always felt good when I was there. And Disneyland. I also saw snow in that country, the only time I've ever seen snow, I felt like crying once again. We once even visited a police station until 3 AM or so because my mom's car was stolen. They ended up finding it on that night because for some reason they just stole some stuff like my iPod and moved the car to the next parking lot. My passport expired years ago and I was too lazy to get one so I can’t visit anymore. They make such a big deal out of it and often deny you a visa even if you have had already been visiting for years.

I love that country but if I could leave Mexico, since that would require a lot of effort anyway, I wouldn't strive for U.S.A, Americans think everyone would love to live there but I wouldn't because of the random shootings at restaurants and supermarkets by crazy people. I would be leaving because I want a safer city, and of course anywhere else is safer, but I would try to pick something from the top twenty safest countries list, or fifty, any place that would have me but that wasn't as dangerous. I know that you can have something happen to you anywhere, some people have been murdered in Sweden and Germany, I know, and I haven't been murdered yet and I live here. But yeah my odds of being murdered would be lower elsewhere, that's what I want.

I love this place called Sanborns, chain stores from Mexico, it's a dumb place where you can buy books and things like watches, glasses, candy, things for adults mostly, toys, but it also has a restaurant. I always felt good there. And we have Costco and Office Depot like in U.S.A, I love those places too. I also enjoyed being outside of any school building, for some reason.

I don't love places in particular, but I liked looking at the stars and at the moon from different streets and houses, and to be in the car at night and all the things I saw. I also loved certain rooms or parts from different houses that I've been to. Then these huge buildings (huge when compared to a person), two towers with a lot of stores and offices, my mom would take me there and I would walk through one of the buildings by myself while she was exercising, I would also buy magazines because I've always loved them. And then I love life and most of what I have experienced has been here. So in a way I love this place even if I wouldn't care to ever visit again if I manage to leave.

This city is where I realized I want to live forever, it's just that I know I can have the same experiences somewhere else. If I ever leave this country I know that then I could think fondly about most things from it, since I wouldn't feel at risk because of it. The funny think is I can understand what you are saying when you talk about your city, I can't claim that I know what you actually feel, but some places from Europe make me feel like that, not any place in specific, some pictures. And I can imagine what it would be like to grow up surrounded by art and culture, all that sort of stuff. When I look at those kind of pictures I feel like I am living someone else's life even if I’ve never wished for that because I love being who I am, and that I have been there and have many memories of doing things in those places.

I've been answering your letter as I am reading it, sometimes I read the whole letter before I answer and sometimes I do this, it depends on my mood, but not that I do one thing when I am sad and one when I am happy, I just do whatever I feel like doing at the time, for no reason.

So I've just realized that you asked me about traveling and I've already sort of answered. Before talking to you I didn't care about traveling that much, but now I do even if I wouldn't spend my money on it, I would save it to leave this country eventually. I didn't see it as something bad but I also wasn't drawn to it, and for some reason this month or so I've been able to see why most people really enjoy it. If I had all the money in the world and knew the plane couldn't crash, or if I were immortal, I can see myself loving to move from one city to the other every month or so, I don't see why I wouldn't rather do that than staying in the same place, though I would also like to have a home where I would keep all my stuff and favorite furniture. Before, I couldn't understand.

I'm not afraid to die, it just makes me extremely angry, I love myself, why wouldn't I be angry at the thought of disappearing. That's why I'm ridiculously careful, and some would say that's not living, but to me it is, like what I said about traveling, if I could I still wouldn't do it often anyway, because I can't know that the plane won't crash and as far as I know I am not immortal. I hope we are, we have never died. And I can still do everything I truly enjoy doing even if I never travel, that's why I wouldn't risk it, since I don't truly need to see the rest of the world in person to feel that I am living a complete life. But what I said it's also true, I can now see why everyone wants to do it.

If I traveled I would like to see U.K out of all the places that you mentioned, I love Victorian stuff and old books written by English people. I've also always loved knights and things like that. And I didn't care that much for Egypt before but now it makes me think of you and I would like to see the pyramids, but I feel more drawn to a museum full of things from Egypt, I have never been into deserts but I love being inside of buildings, nice buildings make me feel the same way that looking at the stars does.

I'm not rich but I've never been poor or unable to buy the things that I want, but since I'm from a sort of poor country I've always been attracted to cultures that feel like they are from rich people, white people usually. If I had been born in a country that I didn't think of as poor I feel like I would be drawn to exotic places. This doesn’t happen with looks because I only like dark brown eyes and white people from that sort of cultures normally have blue or green eyes.

I've always told you that I like everything you have to say and that includes rambling, it's good when you talk more about yourself. About an hour ago or so, I had to get up, and I thought of how I often feel like crying when I am talking to you which also made me feel like crying, it was already almost 9 PM and looking at the night sky makes me emotional by itself. You are a good writer but it's not because of that, good writers don't automatically make me feel like crying. I just thought that it's nice that you want to be a writer, whether you try to sell books or not, but that you are doing it, even if it were just a private journal, it would be a waste if you didn't write.

I think the reason you aren't drawn to U.S.A is that you already have really nice buildings and that you have been to similar places but with more culture, so to me it makes sense that you wouldn't find anything special about it. I would also like to see Canada. You are lucky in the sense that most people want to visit places from Europe anyway, some spend their whole lives saving for it. You get to live in Europe and also visit it. I feel like I would also rather visit places from Europe better than all the other countries, Oceania too, first I would visit cities from U.S.A, because of what I told you before in my letter, that I also grew up there, spent some nights there, so I care for it even if I wouldn't enjoy living there, but just because of the shootings, otherwise I would love to, since I already feel a connection because of the TV Shows, books, music, brands, internet, language, and the time I spent there, it's so much safer than Mexico too.

I think Mexico City is a nice place, the actual capital of the country, it's also dangerous though, depending on the streets, but nothing like Tijuana. Their accent is terrible and funny, but not that foreigners could tell, and the air is bad for you because there's a lot of contamination, it's a really big place. But they actually live like people there, they have this university called UNAM, many museums, and great things.

I never thought you were into bondage and rape fantasies, though, I only said I wasn't into it, I was specifying because I said I was really into humiliation and that sort of stuff, so I didn't explain what I liked about it, that would have been too graphic and disgusting, but I felt like saying what I wasn't into which was easier to write without it being dirty, it doesn't make me uncomfortable but I feel like it's inappropriate for us to talk about it too graphically, somehow.

I know you are into choking because I have seen you say that on your blog and that thing about the knife from Victor, but I never saw anything about rape or bondage on your blog and didn't know you had any experience when it came to that, even if you didn't enjoy it that much. I would actually love to do sexual stuff often and I think about it daily just not all day long, but I'm not into casual sex so it's really complicated. But it's not something that I need, like when people claim is a basic need, not really, you can take care of your sexual needs by yourself for the rest of your life, you can't do that with food.

Maybe it's just your own version of sexuality too, there are no rules about how you should feel, and it would also be normal if you felt differently about it all the time. Ideally, I think you should only do something sexual if you feel like it, even if it's once a year, but I know you probably feel like that would be unfair to your boyfriend, of course it wouldn't, and I'm not saying it's some sacrifice to sleep with him, just that in an ideal world you would only have sex if you felt the urge to do it.

And you also wouldn't be wondering if there's something wrong with it. I think there's only something wrong with it if you really wish you could want it all the time but can't, and even then maybe it would still be normal. Like someone saying he wishes he could be hungry all the time but couldn't, it doesn't work like that. But you also say that it could be because you were traumatized and if so then you could need some therapy or treatment if you want to fix it, assuming there's anything to fix.

When it comes to asexuality I personally think that if someone is in love he wouldn't care about giving sex up, and that if a man cares enough about it to break up with his partner then he isn't that much in love. But I'm talking about true love since it's the only sort of love I think lasts for long, I can understand someone caring a lot for their partner but still feeling he can't give sex up and deciding it's best to leave even if I couldn't picture myself doing that, but I would call him a liar if he claimed it was true love but he had to walk away, I’d buy that he believed that, but I would think he is an idiot for believing such a thing is possible.

I don't know if I found out a year ago or two, I've known about him since I was 14 or so, and I never suspected he was gay or anything, just never thought of it, but I wasn't shocked when I read that he was, only thought it was a shame that he felt that he had to hide that part about himself for years when I read that he had struggled with that.

I don't think that here in Mexico anyone would be judged for being asexual, some ignorant people would probably say it's weird and that they aren't truly living, maybe most people, say stupid things like that, but some people would probably find it appealing, some sexist men, I think, feel that they would always be virgins and fantasize about sleeping with them. I feel some wouldn't understand and would make dumb jokes about it but that they wouldn't automatically assume it's a bad thing, maybe a lot of people over 40 and young people that think they are smart would say asexuals are just being stupid and that they need to stop using the internet so much, the worst kind of people, I can’t stand them, I would never be around them because they make me feel like I’m having a heart attack. I really love old people though, probably so much better than the young, it’s just ignorant old people that frustrate me.

And when it comes to gay people, they are accepted if they come out, mostly, some minor celebrities have and it didn’t hurt them, but of course that a lot of men still use gay as an insult and think it's the worst thing that a straight man could be called, I don’t know how their brains work in order to think there’s anything offensive about the word other than mistakenly stating someone’s sexuality.

Then some religious people are against it like religious people from most countries. Or some make this stupid protests sometimes about gay people adopting, saying they are okay with them but that they shouldn’t do that to children which makes my brain hurt because it doesn’t make any sense, saying that they do anything to children at all, it doesn’t happen often though.

I was shocked when I read this list two years ago or so about how accepting countries were of gay people and Italy was lower than Mexico (because Italy has better education and Europeans are so much cultured) but then I thought of the church and it immediately made sense. Many people are catholic here but very passive about it, they think god and Jesus are out there but don’t think about them, most people from this continent probably, except U.S.A and Canada, but nothing like in Italy, of course. There are some very catholic people too, and enough catholic private schools (religion is forbidden in public schools because they can’t force it on you) but nothing different actually happens, they just pray once a month or something and have a religion class some days. I know because I went to two religious high schools but only because my mom thought they were nice, she never really cared about it and she is actually agnostic too since I explained it to her and she thought it really made sense.

There were gay students and they never tried to change their minds, they completely ignored the topic, I only heard a teacher or two made some stupid comment about it being wrong, not hatefully, but that because of the Bible, not to them but to the class, and there was only one time when they bought a nun to talk about some stuff, about life in general, but she decided it would be a brilliant idea to spend the whole time whining about Adam and Steve and everyone was so annoyed because yeah most people hate that sort of stuff and couldn’t care less.

It was also while doing my religion homework that I realized that the Bible was full of lies when I was about 15, and that its god was made up, so great job, school.

I also believe that even if most people wouldn't think it's a big deal, a lot of celebrities are still keeping their sexuality to themselves because they want to have as many fans as they can, and you obviously always lose some fans when you say that you are gay or something other than straight. I personally wouldn't lie about being gay to keep my fans, I would want the homophobic people to stay away from me at all costs anyway and wouldn’t want them to be my fans even if they wanted to “see past the fact that I was gay”, but I understand why they feel like they have to.

Since I'm not into socializing I have no idea about this, but I feel like they probably keep annoying asexual people with stupid questions all the time no matter the country.

I had something like what happened to you too, it was when I was 14 maybe, after I took a shower, I got a lot of red patches on my body, and I remember they were so itchy but not painful, a really annoying feeling anyway, but they started disappearing as soon as the towel touched them, it was odd. You will probably be fine when it comes to allergies, my mom has been allergic to dogs forever but she still loves them and she’s around them all the time, she only gets some red hives but never had any trouble breathing or any swelling.

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papirouge · 4 years ago

Note

This is more a reply to Anon (although I totally suscribe to everything @same-ole-me said) but what you said about OP's way of "shooting down" someone asking for a prayer and his "holier than thou" attitude is something that I noticed a whiiiiile ago. I know he's a very popular blog and it's pretty common to see his posts getting reblogged in plentiful of Christian tumblr blogs but for having to deal with his 'real face' I prompt every Christians following him to be really careful with him and his apparently sound & harmless preachings.

I once engaged with him in one post implying that God wasn't in control everything (implying that satan pretty much had a total free hand in the world because God wouldn't allow bad things to happen..) because it really came off as downplaying God almightiness. I was looking for him to tell me more about that because I got super confused by this statement. Back then I did follow him and enjoyed A LOT his content so my inquiry was absolutely not belligerent or aggressive AT ALL ...Guys, if I tell you this is the most holier than thou reaction that I ever got in my 8 long years on this website..! LOL. He didn't even really bother replying to my question, he just started to rant about how bothered he was for me daring to ask him accountability for his statements and saying whether I did agree with him or not "didn't make any difference" as if that was the actual point...??🤔 Also he literally used his own posts (from his former side blog @1-wu) for reference -not the Bible- which is another HUGE red flag in my book...

Like, he took it so personally which was super odd because my question was about biblical doctrine - not him. This reaction made me quite uncomfortable cause I lowkey looked up to him (which was a mistake looking back at it tbh, cause not everyone claiming to be 'Christian' and making cute posts about Godly Love is actually authentically Christian - also GOD is the only one we should look up too).

It happened a while ago and I didn't manage to find this post on my blog to back up my claims yet, but if anyone is interested I'll try harder and repost them. Trust me, when this guy charade is getting busted and the mask wears off, you'll realize he's absolutely not entitled to talk about Love and trying to be more like Jesus when he's basically preaching a false doctrine and being unecessary so rude with fellow Christians..

Now, most of his most popular posts have been about 'blanket statements' about God's Love (which tends to be Christians' favorite subject because for very obvious reasons godly justice, repentance and sanctification are less appealing... if you see what I mean...) so it might not be obvious for people to notice his fraudulent -less visible- statements. But guys, PLEASE, be very careful with this @koinohnia. Getting strong "wolf in sheep's clothing" vibes from him : making 99% okay & sound statements on totally harmless topic and then shove 1% of some absolutely inaccurate blasphemous takes that barely anyone notice but eat up because it will be among an enticing 'godly love' marmalade... That 1% that eventually mess up people who are still young in Faith g spiritually vulnerable, and that's not okay.

Galatians 5:9

A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.

Edit:

THANK GOD, I FOUND THE POST!!!

https://papirouge.tumblr.com/post/612373789588832256/brother-youre-literally-the-one-going-all

(I just noticed he deleted this reply from his blog since then. I guess it didn't stick with his 'Holy man of god' brand 🤣)

@same-ole-me you were definitely onto something!! "The power of life and death is in our tongue" (not...God??!!) is textbook prosperity gospel nonsense!! Guys please, BE CAREFUL with this @koinohnia !!

I’m super glad you replied what you said to the OP of the post about god and blessings through faithfulness- I love most of the things this account posts and I 100% get where you’re coming from w your reply. The thing that made me a bit sad from the OP is the quick to shoot down someone simply asking to send a prayer their way which is literallt what I feel like as Christians even if an unbeliever is in pain of some sort - we pray for them to know god and to be helped or whatever (I do anyhow) so to see someone kind of give a lecture on someone asking for a simple prayer kind of seemed upsetting and ‘holier than thou’ 😣

I’m going to choose my words carefully here.

If he had indulged that person, then that would’ve set him up to be exposed as a fraud if that person didn’t immediately fall into financial security. It would’ve exposed the wickedness of his theology.

I very specifically singled out the “leg growing” because that truly is nothing other than a magic trick. It’s an illusion. A subtle movement of the hand to push the “long leg” back half an inch while praying for the “growing” of the “short leg.” It is quite literally a magic trick people have been doing for centuries. It is deception. It requires being called out. There’s a reason faith healers/charismatics cling to this as well as things like headaches or other things that can be “healed” by momentary manipulation or a sort of psychological response similar to the placebo affect. There’s a reason faith healers never go to the children hospitals to heal the children with cancer.

When Jesus healed people, he healed those who believed and those who didn’t. He didn’t heal everyone who believed and he healed those who never came to him. Because it has nothing to do with our personal faith. And we certainly don’t believe for healing or prosperity.

What this man is selling is a false gospel. Stay away from him and all like him.

#blowing the whistle #Christian

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radne-le-roman-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Is there such thing as a May onward resolution?

No clue. Not in the slightest. It now exists, because this probably should’ve been a New Year’s one, over on Randythewriter. But, I created this one because it’s a joke that @poppyredrose560 made (my name - Radne), so I could let some shit out without dude getting in the way, until I fucked up and reblogged something using this account. So now I need to think of a new username. (Cough, cough) Poppy, you come up with genius names and even Death ROW that I would’ve never gotten, make me a new nickname please. (cough cough).

Only joking, Pop. I’ma sorry I pissed you off last night, I won’t pretend I was in the right, I only thought you meant it be me included with ‘men, positions’, so I left because I identify as a male cyborg. I’m sorry. I just wanted to be a guard. And fight Ironforge.

Is there such thing as a male cyborg, or is it just a cyborg? I’m off topic.

Like I said seventy tribillion years ago or something, I don’t delete things like this and just type without editing, minus spelling mistakes.

So, hi.

Hi, if you don’t know me, you’re about to either click off, or scroll down to some depressing shit about Death Row, and myself, with the lil eld Riley O. Warren, n Oscar, n Belina, n Andrew all having some dark few moments. Riley and I especially.

And if you do know me, whether that be from years ago, or you don’t like me anymore, or anything, unless you’re Pop or another unnamed person, don’t knot your knickers - I do actually have friends, and don’t wear knickers, or really care anymore, you won’t know me. Probably.

I don’t know how long the onward part of this will be, maybe three weeks until I come back on Radne, maybe a few months, maybe six odd years, or never. But, Randythewriter is dead, and he ain’t coming back. I feel like, deactivating the account is disrespectful, so I just cut all things unrelated on Randy, and then left it. I’m not cutting things here.

So, Radne will join him, and Idk, Ra the Kettle Roman will join the world fresh and new. (shrug) Not happening.

I know it’d be easy to find me. But this isn’t for you, whoever reads this. It’s for me.

-The-random-writer- died months ago, and now my current tumblrs are too, and while I’m not giving up the site, or the internet, which to be honest, I probably should have considering everything - guess the word strong somewhat applies to me, I’m giving up the things known.

Writing, eh, maybe in June, Pop.

SV was nice while it lasted in my mind, and yeah, I guess I’m beginning to structure it for myself, I guess it all changes when there’s no mate for Kettle-Kurt to lean on. But no, Aaron won’t go. But a lot will.

PG, Toby, dude, you’re dead as fuck, go back to your grave and do not try this hologram shit. And do not kill me, when I have a piece of paper in my hand saying ‘traitor’, I’ll get that on my wrist at some point, give me a break, I’ll get tattoos for your and Aarurt later on.. at some point. (Gravestone: Randy Roman, ‘97-2047, never kept his promises on tattoos. Because. Asshole.).

But, I’m dropping this account, if it wasn’t obvious. Oh, wait. I want another.

Death Row, or DR if we go with the trends of others, you mark my new, Riley, my man, you stick in there, and Andrew (apparently my actual name could be Randy, Randy is short for Andrew, weird fact from Randy), you keep investigating, you utter nutter. And Belina, have a heart, here, take mine, it was kinda stabbed in the front though.

What am I doing? Jake, you corrupted my fucking soul.

I’ve only said fuck twice - three times now, I’m doing good.

This is what three day weekends do to me, thank you bank holidays.

Oscar, be there for Riley, he’s a mess, just like yerself, quit parrot teaching, quit the repartes that break both yer hearts, and cuddle, ffs.

I’m the creator and telling them what to do instead of fixing them... Right...

JD, die. You little shit, die.

That’s over now.

So, I thought I’d do that, because I haven’t used wattpad in over a month, and even then, all I did was chat with an old friend, with no notifications for months.

I’ll probably still occasionally drop in on it.

WoW, bitch, you’ve been with me for two years, I think, I cannot quit you, my level 64 bastard who gets stupid tasks~. Randyroman, you have such a creative name and I love you. You’re just on a dead server. And Louis hates me for that one.

To the point. I’m done with this account, and being battered from both sides, mine and yours for feelings. *cough* yes, fucking hypocritical, yes, no caring in the world right now. Your biggest fighting method is something that happened once or twice, that I actually do not really remember, nor care, because in my eyes, I’m fairly glad it was sent to you, even if I hate myself so much for everything I’ve done, at least I finally came out of the ‘toxic’ arms that everyone told me you have. And that may be so, but I’m uncaring for opinions.

I smiled. Today, I’ve smiled and laughed and had a lot of fun. I haven’t felt it that much, to be honest. Poppy is a great laugh, but I’ve not really done too much of it until today. And that’s what’s opened my eyes a lot. From scribbling lyrics with Jake, or swinging on swings with Ellisha sitting on me, Adam and Jake either side of me, and an empty seat she could easily fucking sit on, to just eating breakfast and cheering when we found out Jake has his entire GCSEs correct and will begin them in a month or so, I’ve laughed and smiled.

I was happy. Actually happy. Even with HU in the background, the occasional stab in the front, and then MatPat raging, Caitlin crying in delight (we got cat today, lil kitten kute, or as Poppy will get - yes we actually did this, because, for some reason, I was allowed to choose the name - Kore le Kute, I’m spending so much more time here just for lil Kore, every weekend I want to be here), to just taking a nap, and not dreaming about terror, death, or you. I was happy.

Recently, I’ve had some lyrics coming left right and centre, so, I thought, I’d add some in the end.

But, this is probably goodbye from me today. And maybe awhile. Maybe, I’ll come back in June. I don’t know. There will probably be a tag with ‘q’ if I find anything I want to post for after this. And when there’s not, I’m probably back, from Ra the kettle Roman.

So, I want to be dehumanized, yes, and I’m not consuming enough food, seeking the help I need, or doing things I should be, but I’m doing this. Because maybe I want this pain, but maybe I want independence.

So, take your Randy shit, and seize this opportunity to post anything. I’m not crying tonight. I haven’t been crying for awhile. But my May onward resolution, is to not cry from you. For as long as possible.

I have about twenty thousand songs, but let’s try this.

“ I don't believe in all your demons anymore

It's hard to see with any reason from before

I lie awake and face these shadows in the night

I see the truth through crimson eyes”

“ Got my cards lined up in a row

Up in flames and away we go

Lost my name but it's etched in stone

Take me home when the cold wind blows.

Ain't no grave gonna hold me down

Wide awake so don't make a sound

Ain't no way you can break me down

No one sings, no escaping now”

“ Let go, oh

Love isn't good enough

Let go, oh

Love isn't good enough

And the waves in the sea

They slip away just like me

So let go, oh

You weren't good enough”

“Dark hearts don’t break, they bruise.”

“Cause I, I think of you now and then, the memories never end, when gravity pulls you in”

“ I am a lion and I want to be free

Do you see the lion when you look inside of me

Outside the window just to watch you as you sleep

'Cause I am a lion born from things you can not be”

“ Beneath the covers while I hide behind the pain

After all only so much we can say

Words can lose their meaning once you walk away

Promise me that you'll love me, watch me as I fade

I'll give you all the things that these lions never gave

The hands on the clock and the things we cannot change

Tearin' out the pieces and take back what I made

If there's one thing I'd keep, it's you that I would save”

“ I don't know why I cut myself.

God give me a sign or help, I won't cry.

It'll be fine I'll take my last breath.

Push it out my chest till there's nothing left.”

“Have you ever met a living legend,

Just a real friend who planned his end?

And where do I begin?

You said it was pretend.

And when the bullet went through,

It took more than just you.

It took two, it was you,

It was me, and suddenly.

How can someone say they're helpless,

And then they act so selfish?

You put me through hell with this,

So fuck you let's just end this.

And what about our friendship?

What you did was senseless.

You thought you found an exit?

Like I said, let's end this!”

“ Someone left the door open

Who left me outside

I'm bent, I'm not broken

Come live in my life

All the words left unspoken

Are the pages I write

On my knees and I'm hoping

That someone holds me tonight

Hold me tonight”

“ 'Cause I

I think of you now and then

The memories never end when

Gravity pulls you in

(You in, you in, you in, you in)”

All HU, nice songs, these are some I thought you’d like. Take me home, let go, gravity, lion, circles, the loss, outside.

And then just the entirety of True Friends, which I quite enjoy.

So, goodbye.

( Now I can see your pain, I'm sorry!

GOODBYE!

I cry so hard.

Now I can see your pain, I'm sorry!

GOODBYE!

I cry tonight!) (Pain - HU)

Goodbye for now,

Hasta luego.

Good day.

And I love you.

And if you decide to delete some of our memories, that’s okay. Danny and Da kurlzz have a little something to say to you.

And so do I.

But, I’d prefer you not to, maybe you’d like to look back at times. I don’t care if there are any pending messages from me, but the ones that exist, once they get deleted, maybe they’re gone forever. And I know you’re petty enough to now go delete them and make a few more telling me to piss off.

Maybe one day you’d want to look back. Maybe if you delete them from you, it deletes from mine too. So delete them all, if you delete any. You can keep the one that says that you wouldn’t care about my status as a human, alive or dead, for all I care, that’s what begun my thoughts and nightmares of you killing me. And yet you’ve said before that… that you don’t want me to die. Shock, horror, even I was surprised to have that quoted. I won’t call bullshit, only the truth of my thoughts.

Delete the happy moments, Hunter, if that is what you wish, don’t do it out of petty spite. Delete the happy and the sad, until there is no trace of us, until there are ten posts on Randythewriter, where you cannot visit, where there is only the evil on Radne, the truth and what you did to me. If that’s what you wish.

I know you saw last nights thing. So, fly to Andromeda, and take your posts with you.

Will.

Not.

Cry.

Over.

You.

I fucking loved you.

And finally,

I’m using the right word.

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