#if an artist has some advice I’d love to hear it

[essycogany]

Post that inspired this.

Here’s a little drawing I made. Even if I’m not confident enough to show more and it may take an eternity before then, here’s an example of Amy’s quill style being a mixture of her classic and modern design. I’m a HUGE beginner in the drawing department. Believe it or not.

I personally would LOVE to see Amy’s quill style look something like this.

@legendary606 is the artist I got my reference from. Please check her stuff out! It’s pretty cool. But, yeah. Here’s my first art post. Enjoy! 🩷

[nalonzooo]

you’re one of my favourite artists and one of the reasons I want to start drawing!!! >.< I’ve started and it’s a bit difficult but fun!!

I was wondering if you had any tips on how to draw face shapes and dynamic poses? I love the way you draw face shapes and the actual expressions!!! (it’s always so hard for me 😭) and your poses are super cute!!!

YAAYY NEW ARTIST🥳!! i’m SO happy to hear this -

and absolutely i’d love to share what i’ve come to learn (so far!) re: face shapes and poses as a hobby artist ^^

just to preface everything, when it comes to giving art advice there’s always a general disclaimer that there’s no right way to do art, in the end you should do what you like to do! sometimes i like to think of art as problem-solving, and there are many ways to tackle specific problems <3

for face shapes and expressions - lately i love to reference and do studies of Ami Thompson and Shiyoon Kim’s character design and expression sheets for Spiderverse. these are INCREDIBLY evocative and useful. you can study these expressions and poses and try to recreate them on different characters, and you’ll notice the difference in eye shapes, face shapes, noses, etc; studying these differences is what will help us avoid same face syndrome. what i generally like to do is find art that i like - comic/manga panels, fan art, anything i want to learn how to draw like - and copy it into my sketchbook for personal practice and study to see what elements i can incorporate into my own drawing.

another tip - any medium is good for drawing, but i highly suggest esp when you’re starting - learn to draw with ink! drawing traditionally and with something unerasable will help with your draftsmanship and line confidence. it’ll be wonky at first but you learn to be deliberate with every stroke. tbh becoming a digital artist has deteriorated my draftsmanship and has made me heavy-handed, and it’s something i’m trying to consciously remedy right now. digital art is highly convenient and best for sharing, but when i do studies i stick to pen and paper :)

as for poses - one v important thing i learned in creating dynamic art is to “push” or exaggerate the poses. what you see in a photo reference - if you try to draw that 1:1 on paper, it doesn’t always translate well—the energy is not always captured, and it usually looks so stiff. what is in 3D has to be translated a different way to 2D. so “push” it to create more energy - exaggerate the movements - even if they’re just standing, you can make it dynamic by being conscious of how they’re standing (where the weight is balanced, push one hip up, make them lean one direction, for example). i doodled some examples here:

^ first one is gojo just standing; now how i would “push” this pose is to show him putting more of his weight on one hip and maybe putting his opposite foot up a bit to suggest some movement (and balance). the third one is just a bit more variation where his body is still putting weight more on one side, his feet are more glued to the ground, but i put his hand out to do his signature victory sign just for a bit of flair. so it’s a lot of figuring out how to convey balance and weight and movement and personality :) start with exaggerating the pose - then you can create more and more dynamic art from there ^^

pushing and exaggerating applies to facial expressions, too! instead of merely drawing someone with a smile, try tilting their head a little sideways (and show how their hair might move as well bc of this), add some blush, raise their shoulders a bit, etc).

and i 100% recommend taking gesture drawing classes for dynamic poses ^^ there are a lot of artists who have draw-with-me tutorials on youtube, and i personally like to use line-of-action.com for timed sessions.

i hope this is helpful in even a little way—good luck on your drawing journey and remember to trust the process bc progress is def not linear as an artist but deliberate practice and studies WILL help you! <3

[kiwiana-writes]

Do you have advice on how to make friends in fandom if you don’t write or draw or make gifs or videos or edits? I ferally comment on and reblog people’s posts/fics/art. I send people asks (not on anon, contrary to this one). I’ve tried DMing folks, especially those who’ve reposted things about being ok with being DM’d, but either never hear back or it fizzles quickly. I’ve also tried joining discords but find it overwhelming to even figure out where to start with those.

I love fandom, but it often feels like I’m driving by a party I really want to go to but I can’t find parking. I’m not a writer, that’s probably a terrible analogy.

I honestly have never had a hard time making friends online until I tried to make friends in fandom. I feel like there must be something wrong with how I’m approaching the space.

I mean, I’m going to keep commenting and reblogging regardless, but I’d also like to make some friends while I’m at it.

Ugh, honestly anon, I really really feel for you. I… am not good at making friends in fandom. At least not in terms of being the one to approach. I kind of just let myself be forcibly adopted by people who seem cool 😅 But that’s not a helpful strategy for you!! I would love if other people could weigh in with ideas for this anon, especially folks who either aren’t writers/artists, or maybe made fandom friends BEFORE they got into writing etc. Off that top of my head I’m gonna cold call @firenati0n and @celeritas2997 as people who seem to just have a knack for making friends, but I’m sure there are other people out there who may have tips for you.

I will say — tumblr DMs are fucking atrocious, at least for my adhd ass who has a terrible tendency to read messages intending to reply later and then they immediately fall out of my head. On something like discord the list of people you’ve messaged is pretty clearly displayed, so if I see someone’s name at the top of the list I’m like “oh shit that’s right”, but tumblr squirrels away the messaging function entirely so I never see it to give me a kick and a reminder. I shudder to think how many people I’ve inadvertently done exactly what you’re talking about to 😭 Discord DMs are a much better experience for me, but YMMV, and I do absolutely get what you mean about discord servers: by nature, the public ones are gonna be the big ones and they can get overwhelming quickly.

I guess the only other tip I can think of right now is to have a contact method in your AO3 profile — more than once I’ve had amazing comments from a regular reader, really wanted to reach out to them, and haven’t known how.

I really hope someone has something more useful for you, because I’ve been there, and I hate the thought of anyone feeling like they’re outside a party they weren’t invited to. It’s not invite-only; it’s one of those wildly irresponsible parties where someone chucked the address on Facebook and we’ll keep going till the cops shut us down 😂 But I GET IT, I’ve been there, and I’m really hoping some folks jump in the replies/reblogs with some suggestions for this anon?

[yurayura-kurage]

A3! Troupe Event: MY WORST WEDDING | Event Story Translation (7/11)

Neither Japanese nor English is my first language so please forgive me if I made mistake. However, feel free to point me out, I’d love to hear your feedbacks on the translation ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

Translation under the cut

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Sakyo: I’m home

Azami: … 

Sakyo: You still awake? If you’ve finished your homework then go to bed early. 

Azami: I’ve something to talk about. 

Sakyo: Huh?

Azami: Actually, I met your mother with Juza-san today.

Sakyo: My mother? Why did you come all the way to…

Azami: About what your sister said the other day, I just wondered how she really feels, so I came to ask her in person.

Sakyo: That’s none of your business.

Azami: Anyway, after listening to her story today,  there was no doubt that she wanted to wear a dress. However, it seems like she couldn’t take a step forward since dresses don’t suit her now.

Sakyo: That’s exactly what Miyako said.

Azami: But when I did some research, there are people wearing wedding dresses regardless of their ages these days… There seems to be calm dresses that will suit a wide range of ages.

Yuki-san gave me lots of advice, and when I finally met her, I even thought about the hair makeup for her which would go well with the dress.

Sakyo: Even Rurikawa got involved in this, huh. Why do you go that far for someone you have nothing to do with…

Azami: If it’s about connection, then I also have one. I owe Sakyo’s mother a debt of thanks. I was supposed to tell her today, but somehow I couldn’t say a word.

Sakyo: Indebted you mean…

Azami: The Jin-gi-oh cards. That was originally her idea, wasn’t it.

Sakyo: It was but… You don’t need to go that far just to help others be filial to their parents.

Azami: ‘Cuz I can’t show filial piety to my mother anymore.

Sakyo: ––

Azami: Well, that can’t be helped ‘cuz I was small at that time, but if possible, I still wanted to be more filial to my mother who gave me the motivation to pursue my dream of becoming a makeup artist.

‘Bout that, I’ll do something for my dad… some days. But after all, even if it’s not me, I’m bothered that it’d be bad if someday you wake up and realize you miss the chance to show your filial piety.

I know I’m being too fussed over though. It’s not like I’m Sakyo in the first place. 

Sakyo: You don’t need to say such things. But… Well, I think I’m grateful for Bon's feelings.

Azami: How ‘bout you? Are you sure you don’t wanna do anything?

Sakyo: I… That’s because my filial piety has always been going nowhere. I told you before. It’s a story about the Jin-gi-oh cards, the popular card game when I was in elementary school. 

After regretting spending my precious allowance on a pack of cards, I was eager to save up for my mother’s present next time. 

And then, on her next birthday, I gave her a hair tie with flower corsage as a birthday present. It didn’t cost much, but it was sparkling, and it looked stylish to me at that time. 

My mother always wished the best for me and didn’t even care about herself, so I was wondering what if she tried dressing up once in a while. 

Because she often tied her hair up when doing housework, I thought my present was just the right fit.

My mother was surprised and delighted when receiving my present, but then she kept it tucked away as she said it’d be a waste if it was accidentally ripped. 

“Such a beautiful thing like this doesn’t suit me, so I’ll sometimes take it out to gaze at as my treasure”, she smiled and told me.

I understood that she treasured my present, but I regretted not choosing something more practical. 

…Even if I try to be filial, it just doesn’t work.

Azami: So you’re gonna give up this time too?

Sakyo: …I didn’t say that. It’s just that we need a strategy that takes that person’s personality into account. 

Azami: Personality?

Sakyo: First of all, always thinks it’s a waste to buy things. 

Azami: Isn’t she just like Sakyo.

Sakyo: When it comes to buying replacements or buying something new, or to be short - spending money, she always hesitates.

Azami: That’s Sakyo.

Sakyo: Think of her as three times more stubborn than me.

Azami: A super ultra hard one to deal with…

Sakyo: That’s why asking for her agreement on this matter is difficult to begin with. It’s like when you guys ask me to rent a cruise ship for celebrating my birthday with a big party. 

Azami: It’s impossible.

Sakyo: However, I don’t think my mother would like to turn down Miyako’s wish. That’s why the only way here is to cooperate with my step-father and make it a surprise on their wedding anniversary. 

Well, even if it’s possible to take her to the venue on that day, she might still be reluctant. At that time, I want to respect her wish and cancel the celebration.

Azami: I think it’s good. It’s just a wedding photoshoot, but isn’t it better to also have some attendees? 

Sakyo: I wonder. There’ll be no matter if it’s just taking photos for my parents but…

Azami: …

Sakyo’s mother is a fan of Autumn Troupe right?

Sakyo: Aah.

Azami: Then let’s get them all to join this plan.

*Shifts to car*

Sakyo’s mother: Will I get my hair makeup done there?

Miyako: Yes. They’ve prepared our costumes too so you don’t need to worry.

Sakyo’s mother: Somehow I feel bad receiving such perfect service like this…

Miyako: It’s that kind of package, so you don’t need to worry.

Sakyo’s stepfather: That’s right. It’s for our special wedding anniversary after all.

Sakyo’s mother: You’re right. Thank you. I’m looking forward to taking family portraits with everyone. Even so, it’s a quite faraway place, isn’t it.

Miyako: I-It is. They have a reputation for their excellent skills.

Sakyo’s mother: Is that so?

Sakyo’s stepfather: I think Sakyo-kun will also be there soon!

*Shifts to venue*

Taichi: Congrats on your wedding anniversary~!

Juza: Congrats.

Sakyo’s mother: Eh?

Omi: Thank you for always taking care of Sakyo-san.

Banri: Thanks.

Sakoda: Everything’s all set!

Sakyo: Thank you, step-father.

Sakyo’s stepfather: I’m glad I could fulfill my role safely.

Sakyo’s mother: Everyone in Autumn Troupe, and the wedding hall…? What on earth is this…? 

Sakyo: I’m sorry for deceiving you. With step-father and Miyako’s help, I prepared this place as a surprise.

Miyako: Sorry for surprising you.

Sakyo: Me, Miyako and step-father, we all want to make your wish come true. But I thought we could never persuade you if we didn’t do it this way. 

However, in the end, you're still the one who decides.

Sakyo’s mother: Could it be about the dress… I didn’t expect you all to do this for me. 

I really appreciate everyone’s feelings for me, but after all, I’m still determined to…

Azami: May I talk to you for a moment?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Previous || Next

[disformer]

hi i love ur art and redesigns, especially ur big pieces they’re so well put together i can’t imagine how much time it takes, and i was wondering if u have advice on burnout? or lack of focus? sorry idk how to describe it.

whenever i try to do real big pieces or even just regular ones i start out real i excited (sometimes with laid out plans to try n stop myself from getting burnt out) and then half way through i can’t even imagine picking up my stylus without throwing it across the room /j

if ya got any tips i’d love to hear em

also if u don’t respond dw bout it, it’s chill m8! have a good one :3

AWWWW THANK YOU!!! I have a real issue with art stamina, I’m not someone who has the patience for intricate fiddly work, so it’s a lot of work smart not hard. Where to focus, where to cut corners, what deserves 6 hours of attention and what really doesn’t.

My honest advice is to keep going, a lot of what you’re describing sounds like the skill wall that intermediate artists face when they try with some more compositional complexity (comics, environments, placing characters in a scene) and that’s something you just have to prod from a bunch of different angles until something feels ‘right’ and then it gets a lot easier.

A lot of my early backgrounds did NOT look good, my more ambitious pieces felt more like failures than successes, but they were still important because i’d then hear some advice about what i could try next time, and i’d get a little better, and feel a lot more confident about trying it again.

[soracities]

Hey! I hope you are doing great! I remember a while ago you talked about going into journalism without a degree and would love to hear more about that. About not following society rules in general, I don’t have any social media and it feels really scary, like how am I supposed to become an artist and all of that. Since your blog has become a safe place for many, I hope others can share their experiences too, if that’s okay with you :)

I meant to respond to this a long time ago, so I'm sorry it's only coming now.

But no, I actually didn’t go into journalism without a degree so I think there may be a misunderstanding here—what I was told, years ago when I was younger and interested in journalism, was that if this was the career path I wanted then I’d be better off not doing a journalism degree and studying literally anything else at university instead. If you’re going into journalism you have to have something to talk about, and if you’re taking the academic route then a degree in journalism really doesn’t leave you with anything to talk about if that makes sense—if instead, though, you go into statistics, linguistics, law, computer science, social science, biotechnology, economics, philosophy, mathematics—literally whatever, then you will have something to talk about because you have spent the past 3 or 4 (or however many) years becoming familiar with a subject that gives you a different way of looking at the world and understanding or examining the things that happen in it (you will also probably have wider contacts as a result). What I was told essentially boiled down to: there’s nothing in a journalism degree that you can’t learn on the job. Like, if you are passionate about writing, you will be writing, if you are passionate about research, you will be researching—a journalism degree isn’t a requirement for that. In the end I didn't go to university, but still that advice has stuck with me.

Granted, this was a good few years ago and social media was not as pervasive as it is now, but I think the same would apply for art as it would if you were a freelance writer in that, then as now, connections are really, really important—or at the very least the ability to reach out and make those connections. I don't know how expected a degree in art / multimedia / graphic design etc is from people when approaching artists today so I can't comment on that but I think if art is what you want to focus on then you may need to consider setting up some kind of social media profile simply because, for better or worse, it is the most efficient means of reaching out, either to clients or other artists, and building community. You don't necessarily need to have personal socials if that is something that really goes against what you want, but it really may be worth considering establishing an online presence & portfolio professionally in some way; in spite of everything we live in a society where, for freelancers / writers especially, it is an extension of your career and its very difficult to navigate that job while cut off from it.

I don't know what kind of art it is that you want to do, but if you're worried about what to do / how you're going to do it, I always think a good place to start is to reach out to any professional working artists that you know or who work in the field you want to join and ask them about the things that worry you most. At the very least it might alleviate some of the anxiety you feel because hypothetical what-ifs will suddenly have somewhat more concrete approaches attached to them and give you some kind of insight into what options may be available to you.

[heartkaji]

hi mars i love your writing so much 🥺🥺 i’m thinking of starting a blog because of you so do you have any writing tips?

HI BABYYY i’m so glad i could inspire you to start writing i’m so happy to hear that��💞 here’s a few for you ml 💘

read what you want to write. obviously you have to choose HOW you want to write first. in my case i wanted my writing to be similar to poetry since i love poems. there are diff types of poetry but prose poetry is my favorite so i decided on making my works based on that. once you’ve decided how you wanna write, read as many works as you can that basically embody that.

make it your own : if you’re using another author’s work as inspiration you might end up developing a writing style that’s pretty much identical to theirs. it’s harder to notice in writing so i’ll use art as an example: have you ever seen someone’s art and thought it was by a particular artist, only to find out it was someone else who drew it ? if your work looks like something the author you’re getting inspo from could’ve written, you’re doing it wrong 🙏 if you’re using pinterest or tumblr as inspo sources chances are your inspiration is a small or unpublished writer so you really don’t want your work sounding similar to theirs. making your work a little more unique by mixing inspo from different sources is a great help.

to add more on the last point, try making your own signature phrases !! for example, ppl have told me they know a work is mine once they see phrases like ‘blood drenched cheeks’ (as opposed to blushing or flushed cheeks) ‘blood crept up his throat’ (to show nervousness) etc etc. you can see these exact phrases in almost EVERY fic i’ve ever written. idk about them being entirely unique but if people are associating certain phrases with you, you are definitely on the right path to making a writing style that’s uniquely yours 💯 another thing i do is i use slashes in place of dashes, commas, semicolons etc and ‘&’ instead of ‘and’. it’s used in poetry sometimes but pretty uncommon in fic writing. my use of these symbols in writing has also been pointed out on here so i know i’m doing it right 🙏

decide how you want your works to SOUND. what vibe do you want your writing to give ? i like to write with the intention of making my fics sound ‘melancholically romantic’. i’d say my bakugo fic, kinich drabble and old kaji oneshot are works of mine that do well to capture this vibe. i like my works to have a somewhat ‘gloomy’ air as opposed to bright and happy, and i make the romance on a more steamy side, not innocent and cute at all. decide what tone or vibe you want your work to give off and use language and setting accordingly !!

PROOFREAD. this is really basic advice but i NEED to spell it out because gosh, the amount of fics i see that say ‘not proofread’ on the daily ?? anytime i see that in the authors note i scroll immediately. if you couldn’t put effort into making your fic readable, why would i give it a read ? please anon, use grammarly if you have to. i personally don’t use it because i write things ‘grammatically incorrectly’ for the sake of sounding poetic sometimes so having grammarly trying to correct what is perfectly fine in my eyes can get annoying. that said i reread my fics like ten times before i post, and i reread it at different times as well, not just reading it over and over again in one sitting. having stuff like spelling errors in my fics is just so embarassing to me, i prefer to avoid that at all costs 🙏

lastly, WRITE WHAT YOU LIKE. tumblr sucks when it comes to giving feedback. it makes me miss wattpad where everyone spammed comments but hey what can you do ? don’t let lack of engagement discourage you from writing the way YOU want to. i’ve written fics in really thick prose and some of those don’t get as many reactions, but does it make me consider changing my writing style ? NO. everything i post on here is first for myself before anyone else. it should be the same way for you too nonnie. the moment you become focused on writing what will get you the most likes and reblogs rather than what you actually want to, you become a content creator, not a writer. write as you like and own it ‼️

[saintavangeline]

Hi darling! First of all— love ur music. & thank you for being so open about your bipolar disorder! Your openness about it has helped me accept it too. Now my question—

I really want to get on the sapphic dating scene. I have experience with women but it’ll be my first time interacting with the scene in my adult life (if that even makes sense). I know this is a silly question hahaha but if you’re open to answering I’d love to hear any insight on what it’s like and if you have any advice I’d be so grateful!

You’re amazing and I’m rooting for you and your career.

Thanks so much 🥰

Hi! Thank you so much, and it makes me so happy that my transparency with my disorder helped you in your own mental health journey - that's so awesome!

Regarding your main question..

I guess I kinda just entered the 'big girl' phase of adult dating last year, so I'm not sure I have the best advice! I turned 21 in September so that kind of opened up a lot of avenues in terms of where I was allowed to enter FOR dates or meeting people I suppose - haha. I was in a long term relationship from 16-18 and then like some talking phases before I dated someone again from 19-20, and I went on one official date with someone before meeting my current gf (we met on a dating app), so I'm not exactly a pickup artist.

I guess my advice is to just have fun, just chat and talk to be people, but don't be so eager to date. Even if you're on a dating app, take every interaction as something casual for a while and enjoy getting to know them. Don't beat yourself up if a convo goes dry. Move on. Have some fun dates and go places you've never gone to before. It can be super fun to check out a new (public) place with a date who also has never been because it can be an ice breaker. The best dating advice I've personally learned is loving and respecting myself and my priorities above all else. Good and well-meaning people will enter your life when you know those things about yourself and what you deserve.

If you find someone, enjoy the time you spend together, but don't expect anything to last forever OR to be short-lived! Live in the moment with them and have fun for a good while.

One of my besties is someone I went on a date with and it was one of the best dates I ever had, but I realized we'd be better off as friends and we have been ever since! It's totally okay to start off romantic with someone and end up as friends. Or vice versa! Try new things lol

If there's tension and conflict right off the bat, it's never worth it. In my opinion, newfound romantic relationships should never cause you stress or burden you in any way (of course there's nuance here). They should only enhance your life.

I've never dated men, so I'm not sure how different the advice or application would be in terms of gender, but this is what I've gathered from dating and talking to other women. They aren't as intimidating as you might think.

Hope this was helpful in some way!

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[charcadett]

Hello can I request some platonic headcannons for Hassel interacting with an artist reader who is a Flipnote animator. I’d imagine Hassel being familiar with digital art but he is only aware of drawing tablets.

Yessss Hassel, I am always happy to write things for him. He has a soft marshmallow heart and I love him for it. Once again, this is something I have very little knowledge of and. Uhhh, my research got interrupted by watching an insane amount of FlipNote animations. God, I love it when wolves are edgy.

Platonic Headcanons for Hassel and FlipNote Animator Reader

- Hassel is familiar with digital art in a way where he knows it exists and he’s seen some spectacular pieces from his students. However, if you asked him to attempt it himself, he’d be hilariously lost. That isn’t to say he wouldn’t be happy to learn. What he does know is from when his students show him their process and explain some of the basic features of the art program they use. FlipNote isn’t even a blip on his radar until you introduce him to it.

- Absolutely enthralled. It’s such a simple program, but you use it well. He can’t help but dissect the meaning behind any of the animations you show him. Hassel asks questions, praises the parts that impress him, and offers helpful criticism when necessary. If you’d let him, he would love to try using it himself. It’s a simple animation and he takes your advice to heart. He’ll have the application down pat in no time.

- The concept of “cringe” doesn’t even exist to Hassel. Bad art is not something he thinks is real. Even if he doesn’t quite understand what anime is or why that Mightyena has purple hair and wings, art is an expression. Simple or complex, bizarre or realistic, none of it matters in the face of creation. Hassel is supportive and always happy to see your current project. If you make an animation involving characters from a piece of media he’s unfamiliar with; he is more than happy to hear all about it.

[lmjupdates]

LAUREN JAUREGUI RELEASES HER NEWEST EP “IN BETWEEN”, AND TALKS ABOUT NEW MUSIC, LOVE & WHAT’S NEXT!

Before giving her fans a new album, Singer/songwriter, Lauren Jauregui, releases her latest EP “In Between” a 7-track EP that holds emotions, love, and the Ty Dolla $ign assisted single “Wolves” alongside Russ. We’re so excited to catch up with Lauren and what she has in store, read our full interview below. Download/stream “In Between” HERE

By Perry Johnson

TELL US ABOUT THE INSPIRATION BEHIND YOUR NEW EP IN BETWEEN

These songs have actually been sitting with me since 2018/2019. I think the inspiration for all of my music is always pretty personal, introspective, and reflective. I drew from experiences that I was going through for songs like Em(oceans), Trust Issues, & Always Love and then I try to relate the themes in such a way that anyone listening can see themselves in my experiences. All In My Feelings was inspired by a fuck boy lol and then Wolves was inspired by the bullshit I’ve been through in this industry and a reminder to keep going to anyone who needs it.

WHAT SONG AND LYRIC FROM THIS EP HIT HOME THE HARDEST FOR YOU

They honestly each hit in a very deep way lol but I think it’s between Em(oceans) & Wolves. Probably Always Love & Trust Issues as well; Trust Issues always hits incredibly hard lyrically.

ALWAYS LOVE IS AN ODE TO LOVE HOW DOES LOVE SHOW UP ON THIS RECORD AND WHAT MOMENTS LED TO WRITING THIS TRACK

Yeah, it’s an ode to love that can no longer be but will always exist. I feel like there aren’t many breakup songs that acknowledge the fact that there was love shared between the two people involved even if it wasn’t meant to be at the end of it all. Most are either bitter & wrought with regret or mean and dismissive of the love that existed once..so I figured this song summed up my actual feelings which is that even though it was difficult to let go, I will always have a place in my heart and love for the people I have once loved.

LOOKING BACK ON YOUR SOLO MUSIC HOW DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE GROWN LYRICALLY AND MUSICALLY AS AN ARTIST

I think I’m still in the process. I’ve released 2 EPs and 4 singles on my own. Plus some really beautiful collaborations with my friends, like Snow Tha Product & Halsey. I think I keep getting more and more comfortable expressing myself and like with anything, practice makes for perfection. I’ve been writing since before I put it into song format so I think just getting clearer and better at expressing myself through music has been the biggest growth arc for me. I’m definitely in the studio now making new things..like I said all these songs were written back in the 2018/2019 era, so I’ve grown A LOT as a woman since then and I think that’s reflected in the music I’m making right now.

WHO HAS BEEN YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION IN MUSIC

I don’t know that I have one biggest inspiration. I’m inspired by all kinds of incredible artists that have shaped my ear and the way I hear and complete my songs. I love singer/songwriters so definitely Amy Winehouse, Mariah Carey, Hayley Williams, Alicia Keys, PINK!, Shakira, John Mayer, Jhene Aiko, Summer Walker, Kehlani, SZA, Lana Del Rey. I’m inspired greatly by Beyoncé and the way she executes background vocals and communicates an entire vision and pulls that into her performances. I’m inspired by Christina Aguilera, Lady Gaga, Whitney Houston, Aretha Franklin, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone…I just love women who express themselves and their truth.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 16-YEAR-OLD SELF

I’d tell her to relax and allow life to happen for her. I’d tell her that she was safe now and protected and that she deserves to be present and happy and enjoy the moment. Also to read the contracts and find a lawyer who gives a fuck lol

OUT OF ALL THE TRACKS ON THIS NEW EP WHAT SONG DESCRIBES YOUR TRUEST SELF?

Probably Em(oceans) & Always Love

WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WANT LISTENERS TO TAKE AWAY FROM THIS EP

A better understanding of who I am and who they are and some songs that can accompany them through life and make them feel seen and held and shake their asses.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT FOR SO MANY YEARS AS WE ALL KNOW SOCIAL MEDIA CAN HAVE ITS GOOD SIDE AND BAD

I honestly have had a lot of rapid growth in this department over the past year. I believe life is as spiritual as it is physical and the more that I tap into how connected I am spiritually, the more I’m able to understand that I am protected and held in realms that go beyond this world. The more I tap into that the less I’m tapped into the matrix and what other people think of me. Most of what other people think or judge about someone is actually thoughts and demons of their own that they’re facing and projecting to feel better about themselves at the moment. I know who I am now and no one can tell me otherwise, especially not strangers on the internet that I do not know personally. So, prayer, breaks from the internet, more time in nature, meditation, creating, and spending time w people I love and by mySelf. All of that really helps keep me grounded.

WHAT BEAUTY PRODUCT ARE. YOU OBSESSED WITH AT THE MOMENT

I don’t really wear too much makeup unless I’m going to events haha so I love a good light, clean foundation. I’m obsessed w my new Caliray free dreaming skin wellness diffusing tint. It’s lightweight and feels like a tinted moisturizer but has better coverage AND it’s clean. Which I love. I love products that are made thoughtfully, sustainably, and with ingredients that don’t harm me or the environment. I also loveee their clean mascara called Come Hell or High Water. I also love me some virgin coconut oil. I use it as a full-body moisturizer and makeup remover and it’s amazing.

BEING CUBAN AMERICAN WILL WE SEE MORE MUSIC IN ESPAÑOL FROM YOU IN THE FUTURE

Definitely. Spanglish energy will always be coming from my corner, whether that’s full Spanish songs or incorporation of it into my English music sonically or lyrically.

YOUR FAVORITE SPANGLISH WORD

Hahaa maybe janguear o chilear

WHAT CUBAN DISH DOES YOUR FAMILY MAKE THAT YOU ALWAYS CRAVE

Omg my mom’s bistec empanizado with a side of tostones

WHAT IS NEXT FOR YOU THIS YEAR

I’m working on my album so very much in the studio and just connecting with mySelf and life and allowing myself to live in the In Between. Definitely going to be taking these songs on the road as well

Team Credits:

Talent: Lauren Jauregui @laurenjauregui

Photographer: Natasha Austrich @natashaaustrich

Stylist: Raz Martinez @itsmerazzie

Make-up: Vittorio Masecchia @vittoriomasecchiabeuty

Hair: Nathaniel Dezan @nathanieldezan

[rivetgoth]

You've piqued my interest about Skinny Puppy, so I figured I'd ask if you had recommendations for where to start with their music?

If it helps I listen to a lot of goth music, mostly trad goth, but when it comes to industrial I really only know NIN. I really enjoy industrial when they play at my local goth/industrial night and I want to get more into it if you have general recommendations for that as well.

Hey! If you like trad goth mostly I’d say to check out their early work first, like Remission era, it’s still industrial and more out there than most post punk but that was the era where they had their big backcombed hair and eyeliner and skulls and cited Joy Division and The Cure’s Pornography as inspiration LOL. Remission features the song “Smothered Hope” that you most definitely have heard at the club before, alongside a few other dancey tracks like “Glass Houses” and “Far Too Frail.” It’s just a lot dancier and more classically gothy than their later work IMHO so if trad is your entry point I’d say it’s a good start! You can just start from the beginning and work your way through maybe? That way you can kinda hear the evolution of the band starting from their gothest beginnings and see what you think! :)

Generally with Puppy, the band’s trajectory is that they get more and more heavy and industrial as they go, with a lot of variation between albums (like, every album is super distinct in sound due to the evolving direction of the band and the various changes in personnel through the years)— Rabies is way more industrial metal due to Al Jourgensen from Ministry being a collaborator on it, for example. But generally the further you get from Remission the more classically electro-industrial it becomes, up until around The Process. Every post-Process album (Greater Wrong of the Right and beyond) is way more uh… idk, it’s kinda dancier and weirder. I LOVE this era, Greater Wrong is one of my all-time favorite albums, but it’s kind of a more modern experimental industrial electronic dance sound than the 80s and 90s stuff. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a post-Process song in the club before (sadly) haha. I’m obviously biased but I think all of it’s worth checking out because Skuppy’s catalog is MASSIVE and there is just so much variation within their work.

But yeah! In your case I’d say to start from the beginning because I think Remission is a great introduction for someone who’s more into goth stuff, plus a lot of their early work is where the club hits like the aforementioned “Smothered Hope” or “Assimilate” (off their second album) are found! ORRRRR You could always watch some live footage, with Puppy they are so performance-based that the concerts might honestly reel you in more than the music itself at first. It’s really really cool.

As for getting more into industrial in general, sorry if this is a cop out answer but I still think getting into Skuppy is a good start so all of my advice still stands LOL. Puppy was my first industrial band that I really fell in love with and was the band that spurred me to get involved in this world and now it’s my whole life. I literally started by just going through the associated acts that Skuppy is connected with— Ogre and cEvin both have a ton of projects of their own or that they’ve worked on, like cEvin has The Tear Garden, Ogre has ohGr, and then you can find the bands they’ve appeared on as guests like Revolting Cocks or Pigface, or you can look into the bands of the people who’ve collaborated with them like Ministry, Front Line Assembly, Severed Heads, and The Legendary Pink Dots… and it just kinda keeps branching out from there LOL. Industrial as both a genre and community is so close knit and so many bands are connected through various means, once you sorta find the stuff that really speaks to you then you can just go in that direction and keep finding connected/similar artists and carve a little path for yourself in the genre that way! 🖤 Of course, just like with Skinny Puppy, you can also just start from the beginning and check out some of the OG/early industrial bands like Throbbing Gristle, Coil, SPK, Einstürzende Neubauten, or Cabaret Voltaire and just go from there in like a linear timeline, but PERSONALLY I think it’s more fun (and will lead to less burnout) to actually just start with what you like and take your time finding the things that appeal to you; your appreciation will grow in time if industrial music is for you haha. Like, I love all those bands, but if you’re new to the genre just find what you like ykwim? Or look into the industrial songs you like at the club and find out who the artists are and explore their discographies and related artists!

[princelythirsts]

Are you still answering the f/o crossover thing? 👉👈 if so

F/o is Lucille Sharpe from crimson peak, S/I is Ianthe (undisclosed last name)

Relationship dynamic: rocky start, as Ianthe was a high society friend of Ediths from America. Things improve(? Kinda of) when they travel to England on their way to visit family in Europe, and offer to hire workers to repair Allerdale hall. They end up getting snowed in and things turn out differently than the movie lol

Occupation: s/I is a painter from a wealthy family (that's actually a crossover with another self ship universe lol) and Lucille is unemployed because women weren't expected to work in the same way

In short, s/I also has a dark secret related to their families wealth, so when they discover Lucille and Thomas's murder thing, they kind just shrug. The incest was weird, but again. Family secrets, I guess.

(Also Edith and Thomas are happy and in love in my ship-verse. With the company of S/I, she learns that she isn't 'losing' Thomas to her and while they don't exactly get her explicit blessing, she's more comfortable accepting Edith as family)

From @vampyrolesbos

YEA I’m still taking these! I just take a long time to answer them bc I tend to overthink them 😅 I haven’t seen the film in a while

I love this turn of events, and I’m sure Edith and Thomas are glad for it too. Lucille especially for getting someone sweet who looks past some of her… past choices.

This is a fun one to put in the Harlots verse due to all the juicy relationships - I think there was a lot more pressure for upper class women to marry in the Georgian era, so people might find it odd that Lucille would stay single and have an artist in her employ after a fateful winter.

Then again, their family is pretty isolated, so people might not hear about it, or care enough to gossip. I can see Ianthe taking wealthy clients for portraits.

I think most likely I could see their paths crossing if Phemie and Charles wanted a portrait and ended up spending some time with the artist and their … very generous patron. Who they live with and want to spend the rest of their life with.

There’s also the option of them all meeting on a fancy holiday to France or something.

Phemie would leap for the chance to connect with them - he is a noble too, it’s only natural they’d get along!

… There’s also the very delicious parallel between Phemie and Lucille as people who claim nobility (or even are nobility) but have to pretend to not be broke as hell. Phemie copes by getting a rich boyfriend, at least. I don’t know if it would ever be revealed - ie their double lives when it comes to wealth / reputation - but Lucille might not take kindly to Phemie’s advice to just get a sugar daddy, of course.

I typically have Phemie as a Connection since Charles is Social, sure, but less so, and very sheltered. I think Phemie and Ianthe would both be used to mixing with people across class lines in a way that Charles and Lucille wouldn’t. (Courtesans 🤝 Artists)

I am intrigued about the dark secret with Ianthe’s wealth, I’d like to see how it could factor in here!

Charles isn’t exactly hiding where his wealth is from, but if they’re meeting in another country where he’s not well known (and is currently trying to change for the better), he might not advertise exactly what his business is.

So they’re all very posh rich people with dark secrets who appreciate art! I’m not sure what 1700s tourism was like in Europe but they could go to operas and art galleries together, maybe share some gossip on the way

Tell me about your selfship and I’ll tell you what it would be like if our ships interacted in a crossover / AU!

[plasticdinnerware]

I have hobbies. I love painting. I adore playing my ukulele. I play video games and read shitty romance novels whenever I get a chance.

But like, the way people TALK about hobbies these days… like everything you do on a regular basis should be some marketable side hustle. Or that it should be preformable? Or demonstrable maybe? It just bothers me. It makes me feel like I don’t really have hobbies? Because I love to play random 4 chord songs to myself on my uke when I’m tipsy on the weekends at home by myself— those moments are me alone. I usually stop playing when my partner gets home. But a few times, the part of myself that doesn’t want to starve to death convinced the rest of me that I should try live-streaming my uke sessions. And I don’t want to say I hated it but it was… not nearly as fun (unless J was like, very drunk or smth).

And luckily, my painting has landed me an okay job in the entertainment sector, but now I’ve developed a bad habit or making sure everything that I paint is ‘sellable’. I can barely start a project if I don’t have an attractive end in mind. Why shouldn’t I? Painting is expensive! But making art for the express purpose of selling it, instead of to free my heart a bit hurts. I’d say working in art (I’m not a freelance artist) has even dulled my skill and creativity a bit. I don’t know.

I talk when I play video games. Anyone who hears me laughs at my timely jokes or my stupid little asides. Of course I like to think I’m funny, but I don’t think I’m as funny as my friends say I am. Certainly not funny enough to carry a live stream or a YouTube let’s play on my own.

And I’m DEFINITELY not cut out to review books.

And at each and every turn, I back away from monetizing these things I like. Not because I’m trying to make any statement— trust me, I’d LOVE to love doing the things I get paid for. And again, at each and every turn, there’s this push to squeeze pennies out of your every day life. And I could really use those pennies!!! That’s why I started this fucking blog! I don’t want to work 2-4 jobs any given month and still worry about the water getting shut off! But turning the few methods that I have of coping with reality into different ways of contributing to that reality makes something in me wither.

Perhaps it is the environment I’m in that makes me feel this way, but I’m surrounded by other starving people. Of course we are all obsessed with ways to make another dollar! At the end of the month, that dollar could mean the difference between homelessness and four walls! Everyone is only trying to offer me advice that boils down to “do what you have to do to survive!” I appreciate that, honestly, as tiring as it is.

Isn’t that somber?

I’m not asking for anything. I’m not suggesting anything either. I’m just voicing a struggle.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Getting-acquainted questions from the lovely @waitmyturtles​, who I’ve been enjoying getting to know and would love to continue to know better. Thanks for the tag!

I’m going to skip the tagging part myself, sorry. Tagging people on things like this always makes me off-the-charts anxious. If you see this and are interested in it, though, please feel more than welcome. The tagging prompt, should you choose to accept it, is to tag nine people you would like to get to know better.

Three Ships:

Hira x Kiyoi - These two are frustrating and deeply weird but their story is so compelling in a way that’s relatable despite, or maybe because of, their weirdness. And then occasionally they are the absolute sweetest. Their relationship isn’t likely to closely resemble viewers’ real-life relationships, yet the issues and emotions that get explored in their story resonate much more broadly. My forever blorbos.

Togawa x Nozue - Old Fashion Cupcake is like the Jane Austen novel version of a BL. Things look calm on the surface but so much emotion is simmering underneath and every stray word, glance, or social gesture is invested with an immense amount of meaning (and often, misinterpreted). Totally my wheelhouse. Nozue’s mixture of charm, competence, and frighteningly low confidence is super endearing, while Togawa’s assertive, purposeful side is undercut by how vulnerable his feelings for Nozue make him.

Seo Joon x Ji Woo - I love the subtle, complex way their story developed in season 1 of To My Star and although season 2 was like a punch in the gut, it ended up working well for me in the end. There’s something so special about when an incredibly guarded person finally opens themselves up to caring for and being cared for by others, like when a feral cat finally lets you pet them.

First Ship:

Like, first in my lifetime, or first since I got into BL, or something else?

The first time I ever heard about ships/shipping as a term was when I was watching Veronica Mars in my 20s. I was pro-LoVe, Logan and Veronica, 100%.

I think the very first time I rooted for two characters on TV to get together was probably watching Moonlighting as a kid and wanting Cybil Shepherd and Bruce Willis to get together. That or Sam and Diane on Cheers. In both cases, when those people finally got together, the aftermath was a huge letdown. I think I still have baggage from both those shows!

I think the first BL ship I really felt strongly about was probably Hira x Kiyoi. I’d already seen some BLs and enjoyed them but hadn’t gotten really invested in that way until Utsukushii Kare.

Last Song:

KAYTRANADA fr. H.E.R. - Intimidated

This song is a bit outside my usual area but I’ve been trading song recommendations with a friend lately, and as a result, I’m listening to a bunch of things I normally wouldn’t. This is one of my favorite things my friend has shared with me so far.

Last Movie:

I’m part of the way through watching Minari with my husband and really enjoying it (although it’s also stressing me out). I have young kids so seeing a movie from start to finish with no interruptions is rare. If we’re only counting movies I’ve seen from start to finish, the last one I watched was Broker, which I loved.

Currently Reading:

I’m listening to the audiobook version of How the Word Is Passed by Clint Smith--I highly recommend the audiobook specifically. Smith is a poet as well as a journalist and his style of narration in the audiobook is engaging, artistic, and just contributes a lot to the work.

Re-reading portions of The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner for a post I’m thinking about. 

I’m also reading a couple of books about UX research for job search reasons but y’all don’t want to hear about that.

Currently Watching:

BLs:

Utsukushii Kare season 2

Ameiro Paradox

Blueming

note: I keep almost starting Bad Buddy but there are a bunch of options for watching it online and I’m getting a little paralyzed by too many possibilities. If anybody has any advice about the best place to watch it, please let me know.

tokusatsu:

Kamen Rider Build

Kamen Rider Revice

Avataro Sentai Donbrothers

American stuff:

Poker Face

Abbott Elementary

His Dark Materials

Currently Consuming:

Just had an everything bagel. Currently obsessed with an NYT recipe for “creamy doenjang pasta.” Probably going to raid my husband’s stash of dried mangoes at some point here. Well, raid in the sense of stealing a couple of pieces.

Currently Craving:

Chinotto (the Italian soda). I had a place I could buy this stuff in Austin but I don’t know of a place that has it here in the Seattle area. It’s bitter and aperitif-ish, made with a kind of sour orange. It’s basically like if cola was a bit more complex and weird.

It’s such a cliche, but chocolate. I’m not a big fan of the chocolate we keep around the house for the kids (Cadbury’s Dairy Milk) and don’t have any of my own, so I may have to bake something.

Utsukushii Kare season 2, episode 2. I’m not used to watching BLs as they come out weekly so the wait for next Tuesday is making me a bit cranky.

Diptyque Eau Capitale - I’m obsessed with this perfume but I only have a small sample so I’ve been hoarding it. It’s a really classy, complex, well-blended rose-patchouli thing. Super cozy. I should honestly go put some of it on right now, to heck with hoarding.

[noweyesee]

Hi Friend,

Forgive me, I mean no disrespect and obviously do not have all the facts that have made you decide to choose this path, but I think giving your decks up for adoption is a bad idea. The moment I saw your post, I felt such a chilling in my heart…. Please don't do this!😱😭💙🙏

I don't know you, but just by looking at your work, I know you give your all to these decks.

Thinking about your idea of giving up your hard work… 😭I have some concerns about giving up 100% ownership of your designs, especially when it includes the right for others to reproduce, sell, and change them. That can be risky for a few reasons:

Loss of control: If you give up full ownership, you lose all say in how your designs are used. The buyer could change your work or sell it in ways that don’t align with your vision, and there’s nothing you could do about it.

No future income: Once you transfer your rights, you won’t see any future profits, even if the decks become super popular or valuable. The new owner will get all the benefits from sales or adaptations.

Potential brand impact: If your designs end up being used in ways you don’t approve of, it could hurt your reputation or future projects.

Here are some other options I think could be better:

Licensing: You can license your designs, which means you keep ownership, but the buyer gets the right to use them under specific conditions (for a certain period, or only in specific ways). You can even make this an exclusive license if they want that. Plus, you could set up royalties, so you get paid each time the decks are used or sold.

Work-for-hire: If someone wants custom designs, you could do a work-for-hire project, but this should only apply to new designs you create for them, not your existing work. That way, you keep control of what you’ve already created.

Limited use agreement: You could allow the buyer to use your designs for a specific purpose (e.g., in a game or for a marketing campaign), but retain broader rights to sell or use the designs elsewhere.

Why giving up full ownership is risky:

You could undervalue your work: It’s easy to accidentally sell your designs for less than they’re worth, especially if the buyer plans to commercialize them.

It’s hard to reverse: Once you transfer copyright, it’s nearly impossible to get it back. You want to be sure this is what you want long-term.

I really think you should consider talking to an IP (my LL.M. is in IP, which is why it is so concerning to me, but I'm not an attorney as yet), or contract lawyer before making any final decisions. They can help you structure a deal that ensures you’re protected and fairly compensated while keeping control of your designs.

You’ve worked hard on these, and I’d hate to see you lose out on future opportunities by giving up too much too soon.

Sorry for dropping this on you, especially not knowing everything - but I don't want to see you on the losing end. Please please please rethink this or maybe we can brainstorm other ways for you to get income somehow.😭

Thanks for hearing me out! 💙✨

Hey there, friend!

Thank you for the care and worry, and for the time you took to send me this advice. I am glad that through this mean you found the comfort to do so and it’s greatly appreciated and not seen aa disrespect at all.

I know that through an artist’s or legal person’s eyes this might seem like a rash decision, but it has been thought about for a long time. I really meant it when I said that I feel the decks deserve to have an owner that will actually be able to have the energy to give them life.

I do hope I’m not being too headstrong with this, thank you again for the kindness and care, 💙 if and when you are ready, I would love to let you be the owner of any decks of your liking, if you so wish.

[steebart]

Art v AI

Here are some thoughts I've had recently. It's a lot so read it if you want to. I'd love to hear what you think.

---

The battle between artists and AI is one in a metaphorical and literal sense. Each side is driven by different ideologies. There are thought leaders among both who others look up to for advice. Many people in pursuit of their goal, their ideology, dismiss the wants and needs of those on the other side. They value one thing above all else. They think that the way they enjoy things is the only way. Or they think that the other side is somehow incapable of understanding it. So as a result, they don’t try to understand their enemy. They misinterpret what they’re saying in the worst way rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt and hearing them out. And it’s hard not to hear people out when it seems like all they’ve ever done is make is life worse. But if I never give them a chance to understand me because I've never tried to understand them, then that’ll keep happening. Learning and teaching are a two way street. We learn as much from our teachers as they do their students. Because learning is understanding the world around us. Why things are the way they are. If a student isn't comprehending something, it's on the teacher to figure out why. I can’t just accept things as they are if I don’t know if the perception I have is accurate. And none of us know the reasons for anything. That’s why we speculate about God and The Big Crunch, we want to know. And it’s because we want to know that we find the unknown scary. We find solace in thinking we know what the reason is when there is no reason. I’m trying to stop thinking I know why I’m doing things, because I don’t. I’m an animal of instinct, we all are, my thoughts and feelings are just how I manifest my instincts. And I’m not responsible for any of that, just as a dog or cat or plant isn’t responsible for their level of understanding. I was under the impression that animals don’t blame themselves for what they are, but that’s also just an assumption. Maybe some of them do. Just like humans. What I perceived as depression, what I suffered with, the lack of motivation to do what is healthy for myself, has been observed in flies when put in scenarios of high stress that they have no control over. I feel like it’s because they feel hopeless, like they aren’t in control. That’s how I’d react if I was in their situation anyway.  [1]

I’m learning to feel the most in control of my life if I unpack what I am genuinely in control of, which at this moment are my thoughts and body in certain ways. I don’t have total control of my body, because really my body isn’t me, it’s the universe. When it comes down to it, the only thing I can do is catch myself in the middle of a habit, something I do instinctually, and try to stop it if I don’t think it’s helping me. And it will fail, because habits are hard to break, but I just need to keep trying. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier. But I need to keep trying. I think it was Jogging Baboon who said that.

Back to AI, I think we all want to create things. Because when we create things we have control. So we prioritize the resources we need in order to create. I was prioritizing getting into the animation industry because I wanted to make great animated films like the ones I watched that inspired me as a kid. So I did what I thought I had to do to accomplish that. Go to college, take all the lessons, network. I hated all of that, because I was doing it so I could get to the position where I felt I could create things without realizing I could create what I want to create right now. I think people who are so eager to use generative AI do so because they see the effort that other people put into their work and feel intimidated, like they can’t do that. They’re comparing themselves and their work to the work they think is good, the person who they want to be. But really, everyone’s creations are the result of all of their experiences, and I’ll never be anyone but me so I’ve learned to stop comparing myself to others and their work. They’re doing their best with what they know just like I am. They’re following their instincts. And ultimately, they won’t get the same sense of accomplishment out of generating AI as they would if they did it in other ways that required more effort, that taught them more about themselves and what they like and why they like it, because at the end of the day my accomplishment is appreciating how far I've come, what I've learned, how I've changed as a person. They didn’t learn anything by typing in a few words. But I don’t need to shame them for that. We’ve all been there, at least I know I have. I pursued goals that weren’t actually for me, that didn’t make me happy, and then I got frustrated when I wasn’t happy, when I felt like the effort I was putting in wasn't comparable to the people around me, and so I slowly lost hope along the way. I blamed myself. I need to stop giving myself expectations. Whatever the outcome is is fine. Because I’ll be fine. And if I’m not fine, then I’ll probably have died and no longer feel anything, but that’s just my body. My essence, my ideas and memories and influences will live on in everyone I meet. That is my power, that’s my money, that’s my art. And I want to make the most of it.

---

[1] Emotional states: Sweet relief for depressed flies

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982222013677#:~:text=Over%20the%20past%20decade%2C%20the,a%20form%20of%20learned%20helplessness.