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granjagranja2 · 9 months

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My oc btd. Interlude between the ending "you helped ren" and "TPOF"

"Let's try to move forward Ren, we can do it." That's what she had told him that day. No more pain. A normal life. She wanted to show them that a new life was possible, that he didn't have to be afraid of the future. She had shown him her life, which despite all the disgust and difficulties, she kept going. Or at least she tried. Over time, meeting at the same bar every night had become their routine. They had fun enjoying their new life, or so she thought. Having had problems at work, she had come later than usual that evening. Much later than usual. She wanted to postpone it, but he insisted. "Hey! Here I am! Sorry I was so late...." "oh don't worry, I already got something too". She looked down and saw two glasses on the coffee table. She shook her head and let out a tired sigh "in any case, I still apologize. My car also broke down, and I'm not even sure it's a real fault given the neighborhood I live in.... but let's talk about 'other !!". She said the last sentence with great enthusiasm. She didn't want to think about the bad things, not in front of him, at least. She took her glass and drank it all in one gulp. "How are things going? They're better, right?" "oh this one for sure." He smiled at her. "yay!!" - she exclaimed exultantly - "this weekend we could go downtown, what do you think? Or we go back to the amusement park, it was fun, even if the roller coaster was a bit turbulent....we were both of us a little stunned. Especially me." She looked at him. "ok just me". She laughed. She felt tipsy. Like that day. Maybe more. Stranger. She lost her balance for a moment and slapped her hand on the table to support herself. She looked at him again. "Everything OK ?" he asked her, in a calm tone, as if he were chatting about the weather. As if he expected it. Her vision went blurry. She remembered the previous time and started to get scared "Ren....tell me you didn't really do it" and he, with a sadistic smile, replied "It'll be fine. I'll take you home. I think you drank too much. But don't worry, I'll take care of you." He approached. "N-no!". She looked around. There was no one there, it was closing time after all, maybe the bartender was in the back but either way he or she wouldn't have heard her, or she would have seen her and thought she was drunk. She gave up. He took her by the shoulders. He walked her out. but they weren't heading towards her car. Before she completely lost consciousness, she could only ask "where are you taking me?" "I already told you. Home darling."

She woke up on a bed, in an unfamiliar room, still a little dazed. She looked around. She was surrounded by soft stuffed animals. On the bedside table was a large vase of flowers, matching the colors of the room. Her favorite color of hers. There were also various items inspired by her favorite characters. She looked towards the window. Full light. How many hours had she slept? She also noticed that she wasn't wearing her clothes, but a pink babydoll. She touched her neck and felt something hard and cold. The collar. Obviously. She noticed that this time she also had the anklet attached to the wall. She made a noise of annoyance. She found it hard to believe that he would do it again and instead..... Suddenly the door opened "you woke up. Did you rest?". Ren. His ears open and pointed towards her and his usual smile. "Ren, what are you doing? Why did you bring me here?" I thought things were going well," his ears twitched, before turning back to her, "now definitely." Do you like your room? I dressed it up with what you like, just like I told you." "I-I.... yes but she - she shouted at him -.... you didn't answer me!! I thought you were fine! You said.... you said that....", Ren, impassive, raised his hand and showed her the remote control. She went silent. He smiled at her satisfied, but his ears were still back. "I know what I said. You wanted to try a new method. I agreed to what my pet wanted. But the world is cruel." He gently grabbed her chin. "Darling. I've seen how much effort you put in without receiving anything in return. How much you SUFFER. But I will take care of you. Lots of care." His eyes lit up and she started climbing onto the bed. She backed away, starting to cry, but he climbed on top of her anyway. He started licking her salty tears and rubbing herself. "So gentle. So kind. So SWEET"-he passed his hand under her dress-"But don't worry. We have a lot of money." "the money will run out sooner or later" "no, it won't run out." As he said this, he stood up a little, canines extremely close together, tail wagging. He had a feverish look on his face. She knew what it meant. He would torture himself to death other people. "this isn't fair...." "life is unfair" - he stared at her "you still haven't told me what you think of your room" - he pulled at her dress, but without tearing it - "I know you don't you like surprises, but I paid attention to your tastes." M/C looked around again. She actually liked the room. But the situation....she didn't want to contradict him or he would get even more angry. She avoided his look. "y-y' I like it. Thank you. But....but it's all so new, you know what I'm like." The beast-boy seemed undecided about his next move. But then he stood up-"I'm sure you just need more time to adjust. I'll let you rest". he gave her a direct kiss, before heading to the door. She hugged the first pillow near her and, looking down, whispered a 'thank you'. When Ren reached the door, before closing it, she heard him add "don't go out without my permission. And especially while I'm working." She instantly understood that she couldn't help but nod. She trusted him. And she had made the same mistake again. Maybe he was right.

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redwood-and-maple · 2 years

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Ogham Meditations: The Second Aicme

I have been writing my meditations on the ogham feda, or letters, and I've found it a very valuable experience, so I wanted to share my thoughts.

The meanings, keywords, and pronunciations of each letter is from Erynn Rowan Laurie's book Ogam: Weaving Word Wisdom. Everything else is my own.

hÚath - H

(oo-uth) Meaning: Terror Keyword: Despair

Fear and despair are both things that stop movement, for me. Terror tries to activate movement through the fight or flight response, but there is also freeze. I think of when I went through my crisis in 2014-15 after a lifetime of depression. Was my body trying subconsciously to inspire action through fear? In some ways, it worked, because I finally got help. However, the fear was also so intense that I had trouble doing basic things like sleeping.

Fear is a method of protection. However, risk is inherent in many aspects of life. We must take risks. We even get dopamine from facing our fears successfully, which is why some people thrill-seek. Fear, thrill, excitement, desire... they are all so closely connected.

How do I work with fear as a partner? How do I acknowledge fear and then decide for myself if I want to move forward? How do I allow myself to fear, to scream all the way down the roller-coaster?

hÚath is the mark of the Morrigan.

May she guide me through the terrors of battle to righteous victory.

Dair - D

(dar) Meaning: Oak Keyword: Strength

Strength of the oak. Strength of the druid. Strength of the lion. Strength of the maiden.

Strength of the oak to grow tall, to grow in light, where other tree have not yet gone, to grow old, with deep roots, to grow hard and sturdy wood used only by master crafters, for doors and houses to last generations.

Strength of the druid, in touch with the spirits of the land, who has forged knowledge and lived experience into wisdom.

Strength of the maiden, master of her own mind, sovereign of her own self, beholden to no one. She who embraces the wildness of the self, lets it be wild, lets herself be wild, but also calms the wildness, the anger, the frenzy.

Compassion is strength. Gentleness is strength. Living is strength. Scars do not diminish strength.

Perhaps Dair is the mark of the Dagda to me. Perhaps Dair is the roots of the oak in my gut, supporting the fire in my heart.

Tinne - T

(CHIN-uh) Meaning: Ingot (bar of metal) Keyword: Mastery

Mastery. Could be a symbol of Lugh, Master of All Arts. The ingot. The forge. Skills that seem like magic. Skills are magic.

What does it mean to be a master? It's not perfection, which is impossible. Is it the ability to teach others? Maybe, but not necessarily. It's a level of skill, hard to measure. But it feel good. You may not know where the peak of a mountain is, but at some point you see the vista. See how far you have come.

It's something you build up to. There must be joy as well as challenge. Challenge without joy is suffering. Joy without challenge eventually loses its meaning, becomes boredom. Balanced, you feel joy in reaching higher each time, and struggles aren't crushing.

Lugh, may I find this balance. May I continue to reach ever higher.

Coll - C

(kull) Meaning: Hazel Keyword: Wisdom

Wisdom, nine rivers, nine hazel trees, the salmon in the pool. Mastery vs wisdom. Mastery of skill, earth of air, wisdom of the heart, water of air. Master of skills, wisdom of... ethics? Philosophy? Things you know, but more than know. Things one embodies, acts out every day. Experience.

Wisdom is the calm waters of the pool. Wisdom connects to the heart, the subconscious, the Otherworld. Psychology and spirituality are often linked. The human mind is a vast and mysterious place.

I can be wise and struggle to embody wisdom. That is being human.

Wisdom and inspiration are connected through the story of Taliesin and Cerridwen. Fire and water, things that should mix mixing. How are they similar and different? I'm not sure. Perhaps next time.

Ceirt - Q

(kyert) Meaning: Rag or Shrub Keyword: Misfortune

Misfortune. Sometimes bad things just happen! Sometimes things are out of our control. We tie clooties on trees, we pray, we try to blame ourselves, but sometimes it doesn't work. I think Picard once said "Sometimes you still fail, even if you do everything right."

Mental illness. Even when we are able to change ourselves, it is a slow thing, not linear. Sometimes it seems like all of our work is undone. "Brain does what it wants," I've said.

But this is only sometimes! When we ride out the storms, eventually the sun comes out again. If not, get help in what ways you can.

There are some things you can change, and some things you can't. It's against our nature, us homo sapiens, so good at thinking, but we need to let go of the things we can't change and focus on the things we can.

#ogham #ogam #meditations #discursive meditation #druidblr #paganblr

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icarusthelunarguard · 2 years

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This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

Now that The Fat Man’s finished zeroing out all the registers, let’s get back to being creatively mean to everyone!

Aries

These winter nights are for you to enjoy - with the food and the music and the drink and the stars and the lack of insects outside… except now that the temperatures are into the Fahrenheit 50’s there ARE some insects coming out to get you. You could have enjoyed the cold nights with hot cocoa and blankets, but you thought it was too much trouble. Now you have hot cocoa, stars, and black flies. You passed on your chance. Good job. This week become a bat rehabilitator.

Taurus

What can we say except, congratulations on being on YouTube this holiday season. We’d all like to know how Mark Rober convinced you to be an extra in his “GlitterBomb 5.0 Vs. Porch Pirates” video. Look, we know you are innocent until proven guilty, and that one picture is worth a thousand words, but hearing you sniff and retch when the skunk spray fired off? That was method acting at its best! Well Done! This week, invest in food service sized cans of tomato soup.

Gemini

Super-Naughty Requested. Super-Naughty Delivered. We heard Santa was late getting to the rest of his delivery stops after visiting your place. So we have to ask, was he the best Three-Tenths of a second you’ve ever had? Was it worth it, getting stuffed like a French Eclair? Nice going, you homewrecker!

Cancer Moon-Child

This week you’ll need to replace your good flashlight. Yeah, that 5-battery MagLight you love so much? Yeah, the last time you used it was the Obama Administration… the FIRST Obama administration, and now the batteries have leaked and welded themselves to the inside casing. Nope, don’t bother trying to get them free. It’s a lost cause. Just buy a new one and take better care of your toys.

Leo

People on social media might give you a thumbs-up, but do they really feel that way about what you post? Try this: make a post, an intentionally funny post, and direct it at someone you’re actually with. See if they post “LOL”, and if they aren’t actually laughing, you’ll know that those friends are as fake as the recycled photons on your monitor. This week, stop trying to be funny so you can remain in ignorance.

Virgo

Yeah, turns out that “Try Harder Roller Skater” video WAS you from three years ago. The dead giveaway was the vintage Jordache jeans you squeezed yourself into. This week get your coccyx re-checked for fractures and your self-esteem for similar cracks. OH! And get rid of those Jordaches and get some good Levis 503’s instead.

Libra

Orange Juice is your friend this week. Yes you can add champagne or vodka to it, but really what else is there to spike it with? Any dairy is likely to curdle, mixing wine and orange drink isn’t worth it, and other spirits just don’t taste right. This week, stick to frozen orange juice concentrate as a dessert.

Scorpio

Hey! Look. About that whole “Trivia Night” suggestion? Sorry, we know you’re more reclusive than that. But we wanted you to, maybe, get out, be around people, and maybe win some money. It’s OK if you don’t want to be around all those people at once. Truth be told, we don’t like being around most of those people either. So this week buy an old copy of “You Don’t Know Jack” and spend a weekend night playing with yourself.

Sagittarius

I have a request to be mean to you Archers, so here we go. Captain Archer of the NX-01 Enterprise was the WORST Starship Captain ever! Archers are the worst D&D class because once an enemy is inside their effective firing range they’re useless at hand-to-hand mele. The TV series “Archer” sucks because it started on FX, then moved to FXX, and STILL hasn’t helped launch the FX-X-X TV Network! And Sagittarius? You’re worse than all of them put together. We don’t know HOW yet, but we’ll find out. By this time next year, Santa’s gunna leave you room temperature oranges in your Christmas Stockings!

Capricorn

Trying to make your own wind generator like we suggested was kind of an assumption on our part that you understood how to build electronics safely. Let’s leave aside that your soldering skills are subpar and that your wire coil wrappings aren’t even. Of ALL the YouTube electronics channels you could have picked, Why Did You Pick “ElectroBoom”?! When you want to do engine work on your car do you haul out a Super-Dave cassette? This year don’t visit Radio Shack!

Aquarius

We appreciate you more than you might realize. Seriously, you’re good people. And that’s why we’re going to tell you to answer every phone call that comes through for you this week. But only answer with, “AJAX Mortuary - where Deathliness is next to Godliness. Will you be Dropping Off or picking up a Slab Tab today?” You’ll get a laugh and they’ll never call your phone again!

Pisces

You need to be more aware of how you test your body’s current limits. Yes you could run half-a-mile in five minutes when you were in middle school… but Newsflash! You’re not a teenager anymore. Start with something easier, like Mall Walking. Yeah! You’re old enough now where Mall Walking is a viable and expected form of exercise. So enjoy walking past the hulked remains of Babbages, KB Toys, and Lord & Taylor, and look forward to the Summer Bod you’ve always wanted.

And THOSE are your Hobble-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.

#horrorscope #horoscope #funny #parody #humor

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nebquerna · 2 years

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im fucking stupid

you use a roller to apply ink on linocuts?? why did i try a brush first? what's my problem??

#i should actually look up how to apply ink cause it's bot doing what i wabt rn #i feel like printing again and thought #first video #lady uses a roller #BITCH HOW??? WHY??#me trained in woodcutting and screenprinting #couldnt for a second use brain and think #if all other method use a roller maybe try the roller #WTF???#LMAO???#ANYWAY im gonna print more soon lmao #nebs words

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hawkinsschoolcounselor · 3 years

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I think it would be possible (though sad) for El to believe she has friends in Cali, even if the girls are horrible to her. Her closest female friend in Hawkins was Max, who loved her but could be kind of argumentative and abrasive with the rest of her friends. Underneath it all was love of course, but maybe El looks at Max's attitude to the boys and thinks these Cali girls are treating her the same way. That they like her really, the way Max likes the boys, and it's all fun.

Maybe. I still think it's weird that she could be so easily duped, but when we look at El's history...

She had an abusive relationship with Brenner. She was just a tool to him, and he used horribly coercive methods to keep her in line.

Mike and Dustin were nice enough to her, though Lucas gave her the cold shoulder at first. They still used her, and Mike angrily lashed out when he thought she was lying about helping them find Will.

Hopper was very harsh and controlling of her, even if it was in an effort to protect her.

She spent a year fantasizing about a relationship with Mike while watching soap operas and spying on him through the Void.

She met her "sister," who tried to use her as a weapon.

They jumped into a rather shallow relationship dominated by secrecy, codependence, and aloofness towards their friends. El barely spoke with Lucas or Dustin during season 3.

She finally became friends with Max, but only after she felt Mike wasn't playing his part in their relationship. She let Max use her powers, albeit benignly, for fun and games and to spy on their friends.

Let's be honest: El has no actual idea of what real interpersonal relationships should look like. She's willing to let people use and mistreat her in order to gain their approval. Her relationship with Mike was terrible for both of them, and she seemed happier without it, but she went right back to it when her life started to fall apart.

El is desperate to have friends. Remember that everything fell apart for her at the end of season 3. Hopper "died," she had to move away from her friends, and her powers are gone. That's basically everything that had anything to do with what sense of identity she had built to that point. One can understand why she'd want to try to recapture some of that in her new home, and a bunch of Heathers who would torture the new girl by pretending to be her friend would find easy prey in El. They just don't realize they're starring in Carrie, not some John Hughes movie.

I can't say I'm thrilled that El seems to be getting a Carrie moment. Besides it meaning she's going to go through some horrible trauma that will make it hard to redeem her, it suggests that she will not actually much development as a "normal" kid like I'd hoped. Once her powers come back, all of that gets derailed.

I'm wondering if she hasn't been writing Max, or if Max is going through too much grief to write to her. I can't see Max not asking about El's "friends" and then getting angry on her behalf for how they treat her. If there's anyone El would listen to, it'd be her. I can only imagine Will has tried to talk to her about it, since he's witnessed it.

Maybe she knows they treat her like crap, and they don't start being "nice" until the skating scene. I can see poor El getting a surprise invitation and getting all excited, only for them to tear her down.

On the other hand, it could be all in El's head. There was some merch thing that showed roller skaters depicted as demogorgons. I do wonder if that means El might hallucinate, possibly as a result of the lighting effects in the roller rink. It could be a sort of PTSD situation. It would still bother me that her powers would just conveniently return in time for season 4, though.

#stranger things 4 #eleven

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fucklovepayme · 4 years

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FLPM’S 2021 Facial Skincare Routine

It’s been a moment since I made a personal beauty post! I just finished doing my nighttime skincare routine and I am enjoying how cleansed, moisturized, and rejuvenated my face feels. I thought to myself how much some of you would appreciate to know my personal skincare for my face and maybe even need some recommendations. Take note, I have dry sensitive skin which can get even drier during the colder months.

I always apply my skincare products in this following order: cleanser, toner, serums, and moisturizer. You do not have to use the most expensive products to get great results, I achieved and maintained flawless glowing skin with both drugstore and luxury skincare products. It’s all about testing out products, doing your research, and figuring out with products and methods work great for your needs. Personally, I mix both low and high end products and my skin loves it. Here are the list of products I am currently using:

Cleanser: Kojic Acid Soap

Yes I know, why would I use kojic acid soap, a soap that is known to be very drying, on my already dry skin. Well here are my reasons. It all started last year when I was researching products to get rid of my hyper-pigmentation on my elbows, knuckles, knees, and chest. I had a really bad eczema outbreak that left my chest area much darker then the rest of my body. I was looking on Youtube and I came across a video of a black woman trying kojic soap and it worked amazingly on her hyper-pigmentation. I watched a few more videos of other people of different skin colors and ethnicities try kojic soap and I decided to take a risk and buy it. Mind you, you have to make sure you buy authentic kojic soap (yes people do sell fakes 😒). I buy mine on this website. This soap does not lighten your skin despite what some people believe, it simply brightens your natural skin tone and gets rid of dark spots and hyper-pigmentation. Needless to say, the soap has helped with not only the aftermath of my eczema outbreak, but the other dark spots I had on my body. This soap is very drying, which is why when I use it on my body, I follow with turmeric oil. With my face I immediately follow with my next products.

Toner: Mario Badescu Glycolic Acid Toner

I love Mario Badescu, even though I only used the toner and facial spray interchangeably. I discovered the brand about 3 years ago and I have been in love since. It always moisturizes my skin and gives me a nice glow. I even occasionally use the facial spray as a setting spray for makeup application. I spray the facial spray or toner (depends on my mood) immediately on my face after cleansing. I spray 3 or 4 times on my face and neck (do not neglect the neck).

Serums: Vitamin C Serum + Chanel Hydra Beauty Micro Sérum

I apply the vitamin C serum first. I use the dropper to squeeze 2-3 into my palm of my hand, rub it together to warm it up, then I apply it onto my face and neck. I learned the hand rub trick from a Korean beauty youtuber, her skin is so glowing and flawless and her explanation of the technique made sense so I do it too. To me it feels like the serum is penetrated into my skin better and the warmness feels great on my skin. I buy my vitamin C serum from Etsy, Amazon, or my local organic stores and markets. Just read the ingredient list and make sure it’s natural.

Now I stop right here and I do a new step before I apply my second serum. I use a jade roller to penetrate the products, massage my skin, and promote blood circulation to my face and neck. You can purchase a jade roller from anywhere at any price point, just make sure it is the real stone. I actually use my jade roller both at night and day, it helps with blood circulation and depuffing my under eyes and face. I do this for about 2 minutes before I continue with my next serum.

My Chanel serum is the most expensive skin product I have, yet it is very worth it. Splurge on this if you can! I only apply this serum at night, but you can use it for day and night. I use 2 pumps to massage it all over my face and neck until it’s fully absorbed. I swear when I use this serum it feels like I just got a filler or a mini facelift. It’s like I just put the foundation of youth on my skin and it’s a huge plus that it leaves my skin soft and moisturized all night. I consider this as my moisturizer at night, but in the daytime I use a different product.

Moisturizer: Eucerin Daily Protection Face Lotion

I swear by this lotion that doubles as a sunscreen, especially for people with darker complexions. This is one of the very few sunscreens I used that does not cause the ashy white cast look on my skin and it blends perfectly. I apply sunscreen every single day, I have been doing this since I was 17. It lasts all day and it is waterproof, I hate having to reapply sunscreen throughout the day especially when I plan to wear makeup. I don’t use sunscreen at night of course so I apply it during the day.

#fucklovepayme

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kittymsmithwritesstuff · 3 years

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Legends react to being hit on by another legend? could be interesting! sorry for sending two i just rlly want u to make more 💕

Hey, sorry for being so long to reply! Because it would be a lot to do a reaction for everyone, and I feel the reactions would be extremely different depending on who hits on/flirts with who, I narrowed it down by tackling what I would probably consider my personal major ships, sort of in order by which ones I got into first; miragehound was definitely the first, though the last four kind of all came on in S7 with the invention of my newest coping mechanism, Mary “Horizon” Somers.

This also turned into more of a “Legends react to other legends hitting on/flirting with them/asking them out on a date”, just kind of whatever I guess. Ships listed below, ship names applied to the paragraphs following:

MiragexBloodhound, CryptoxWraith, WattsonxMirage, HorizonxBangalore, HorizonxLoba, RampartxLifeline.

Anyhow, here we go.

Miragehound – Mirage x Bloodhound

Bloodhound: It’s probably happened before in a joking manner, because it’s Mirage, but when they realize he actually means it this time they’re totally caught off guard. If they’re wearing their mask, they are blushing like the dickens underneath it and smiling because he’s sweet and kind of funny about it, and they really don’t get that often. If they are not wearing a mask, they are trying so hard to not let it show, except they’re grinning like a dork so RIP Hound, Mirage won this one (and also probably your heart).

Mirage: Just a bumbling mess. Bloodhound was probably kind of blunt but also weirdly poetic because They’re Just Like That, probably compared him to the sun or something and he stumbled out a “thank you” and then was like, “your goggles, goggles they’re, you know they’re hot-er-cool-er-I like – your face.” If he hasn’t seen their actual face, he’ll try and add that he’d like to see their face to try and flirt back and then wish he could go consult his 14 year old self, because that guy got two girlfriends at one point and he could really use his advice right about now.

Cryptaith – Crypto x Wraith

Wraith: She wouldn’t know she’d been hit on until an hour later, because Crypto’s version of hitting on someone is probably, “your hair looks nice” or “you’re really good with that knife”. Honestly, she probably wouldn’t know for sure until he offered her some of his lunch, since the man is pretty well known to think everyone is going to poison him. Frankly, she’s quietly flattered.

Crypto: Error 404: brain not found. Issue: Pretty girl flirted with me. Initiate shutdown and embarrassment protocols immediately. This will prompt an immediate system override, he will forget how to talk, trip over something, squeak and run away with his head down in his collar like a turtle. Unfortunately (read: very fortunately) for him, Wraith thinks it is adorable and will probably proceed to flirt with him more and forever.

Wattage – Wattson x Mirage

Wattson: Surprisingly easygoing about it, a little flustered but manages to say something right back with a grin. She definitely did not practice flirting in her head. Never. She will later tell her Nessie or Horizon all about it.

Mirage: Not quite as nervous as with BH but he does bumble a little because Wattson got him when he least expected it. Probably teased him about his equipment not being waterproof and he went on the defense, citing all the alterations he’s made and she said something like, “pretty and smart? I like that.” He got shot while trying to think what to say back.

Horizonlore – Horizon x Bangalore

Bangalore: So, this woman is oblivious. I’m talkin’ brick wall oblivious. No goggles underwater blind. Driving in a blizzard with your lights off so you miss every sign along the way. Horizon hits on her blatantly. Several times. Horizon isn’t sure she’s into women, Loba promises she is. By all calculations, saying, “you’re so pretty I could kiss ye right here in the dropship, lass” should instigate something else than, “oh, uh, thank you! I like you’re hair.” It’s the day Horizon finally says, “you look great in those jeans, want to go on a romantic date?” That Bangalore realizes and has to sit down and contemplate how much of a dumbass she is.

Horizon: Significantly less oblivious, it only took her about three days to realize Bangalore had been hitting on her. She now perks up like a puppy every time, especially since most of what Bangalore says is (sometimes revamped) Shakespeare quotes. Yeah, they’re both romantics.

Horizonhound – Horizon x Bloodhound

Hound: Pretty girls make them stupid. She says anything that can be interpreted as flirtation and they’re hardly much better than Mirage, though they’ll say something poetic and kind of pretty back regardless, thanks to a little thing called “random immeasurable luck”. Having the favor of the gods helps, too.

Horizon: So Bloodhound doesn’t so much hit on Horizon as perform a complicated mating ritual that begins with bringing her small gifts and trinkets and then evolves into book exchanges and evolves from there into actual conversations. Then that, finally, evolves into them growing a pair and, while watching her do something mundane, casually state, “you know, I have recently realized I might have a thing for redheads, felagi.” They are not prepared when she states that she has a thing for blondes and, “I’d like to ken if you’re part of the rule or an exception at, say, at 7?” Because she has been waiting for them to say something like that and takes great satisfaction in practically knowing they’re blushing under their mask.

StarStealers – Horizon x Loba

Horizon: The first few times she didn’t think anything of it, since Loba is just like that. But then there’s a time after a game that Loba says, “I’d like to see you around a lot more often, beautiful,” and tucks a piece of paper in Horizon’s hand with her phone number on it. Horizon probably covers her mouth while giggling like a schoolgirl because it’s fucking Loba and she would have never guessed she’d be interested in her but fuck is she not complaining. Smart pretty women are kind of her ideal.

Loba: So, Horizon is such a sweetheart and whatever method she chooses is probably a little dorky, and maybe a bit clumsy being she’s rather out of practice but will probably involve a love note with a really bad science pun on it because she asked Wattson for advice. Whatever it is, Loba is absolutely head over heels. If she’s in the dropship or otherwise visible, she just slowly grins. If she’s alone she bounces in her seat and might even giggle, just a little bit. She keeps a copy of the note taped to the inside of her Apex locker like a lovestruck teenager (this is, provided, they end up in a relationship).

Rampline – Rampart x Lifeline

Lifeline: Rampart tends to go big or go home. After spending approximately 2 weeks debating with herself internally, Rampart just waltzes right up to her, leans on the doorframe or something and says, “do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” Lifeline would think she was joking and laugh, wave her off. Then Rampart would sort of panic and say, “no, I mean, like, you wanna like, uh, I like you but in a gay way.” Lifeline then smiles brightly and arranges a date on the spot, much to Rampart’s relief.

Rampart: They’ve been hanging out a bit and are chilling when Lifeline just sorta says, “hey, I think yuh really pretty, you know?” And Rampart, with all the grace of a donkey on roller skates, says, “that’s neat” while her voice cracks like a thirteen-year-old boy’s. Somehow Lifeline’s laugh banishes most of the embarrassment, and she even manages to flirt back without stuttering.

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amazingmsme · 3 years

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Would You Be Ever So Kind?

AN: Wow this took ages but I finally finished my first Twin Peaks fic! I can’t recommend this show enough, it’s suspenseful, funny, eerie, & just all around a great time! My man Cooper is adorable okay, I just know he’s a huge lee don’t judge me. This is a heftier one shot (just over 5k) cause I added some plot! Hope you enjoy the fic!

Cooper was stressed, there was no doubt about it. Windom Earle was always one step ahead it seemed, and closing in. His dreams weren't providing much help and it felt like he kept running into dead ends.

Since Major Briggs's return, he'd been enamored with the White Lodge. He could feel it's influence, though barely so. It was like he was standing on a beach, barefoot, information and enlightenment lapping at the tips of his toes. So close, yet it pulled back before it even reached his ankles. Teasing him. Dangling the answers right in front of him, but just out of reach. He needed to know what he needed to do to take that final step into the pool of knowledge that laid before him.

Right now, he sat in the conference room with Hawk. He stared at the other man with his usual perceptive gaze.

"If one were to... connect with the White Lodge somehow, how would they go about it?" he asked.

Hawk shifted in his seat as he thought for a moment. He tilted his head, pondering the question. Finally, he spoke. "It is rare to do so without being invited. But not impossible. I believe if you tried, someone with your unique sensibilities might be able to manage it."

Cooper's brows raised and he leaned forward in his seat. "How?"

Hawk shrugged. "The few I've heard of said they had experienced great joy. A mother who found out that she would soon have a grandchild. A man who proposed to his girlfriend. A boy who rode his first roller coaster. They had all experienced intense, positive emotions and the following night, had strange, yet peaceful dreams. Dreams that held answers to certain questions they had."

Cooper nodded, hanging on every word. "And how would I go about triggering these- positive emotions?"

Hawk smirked and shook his head. "I don't know, why don't you propose to someone?"

It took him a second, but his own lips quirked into a smile. He wagged a finger at him, "That was a joke, wasn't it?" Hawk chuckled softly.

"Yeah, it was. But I don't know Cooper, try and do things that make you happy. Take a break, maybe go on a walk to clear your head. Maybe go have some of that pie you love so much," he suggested. Cooper made to stand, grabbing his things.

"Will do Hawk, I shall try these methods as I brainstorm other activities that might induce such happiness." He gave him a tight lipped smile and a quick thumbs up before heading out.

He did end up trying Hawk's suggestions, but with little success. He had even eaten as many slices of pie as he could until he felt like he would burst. All it resulted in was a belly ache that plagued him the rest of the night until he fell asleep. With no strange peaceful dreams, he might add.

The next day he had started jotting down every positive emotion he could think of.

Joy Excitement Happiness Fun Funny Love...

Upon second thought, he marked that last one out. It had only brought him heartache and agony that still plagued him.

Hm. That was a shorter list than he thought it would be. Now was the matter of finding ways to trigger said emotions... He started to think that perhaps this wouldn't be as easy as he had thought. He pulled out his tape recorder.

"In my efforts to reach out to the White Lodge, I have discovered that intense feelings of happiness can bring about interesting dreams. In doing so I have also come to realize that such levels of joy are... unattainable with conventional methods. As it turns out Diane, it will take a lot more than eating five pieces of pie and petting a rather cute dog. I plan to stop by the library and pick up some literature on the psyche of happiness." He clicked the recorder off.

He'd spent the first half of the day doing as he'd said. It was much more boring than he'd anticipated. But at least he'd gleamed some information from his impromptu study session. Joy was triggered by certain chemicals in the brain, and certain stimuli releases them. Exercise was a common method, but it wouldn't be enough for the level of happiness he needed to reach. One thing that might prove to be more effective was laughter.

Laughter seemed to really be the best medicine, or at least that's how the books made it seem. Though just laughing for no reason wouldn't cut it. He needed a reason to laugh: something to make him happy. For him, that was enough to go on.

He arrived at the sheriff's station, pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee and stepped into the foyer where Andy was hopelessly trying to flirt with Lucy. She'd humor him occasionally, but Cooper knew she liked watching him struggle for her affections. She'd even told him so.

"Yes?"

"Well Andy, to be honest I believe you're the happiest one in here," he started. He lit up like a Christmas tree at the

"You really think so? Well that's awful kind of you to say."

"How do you do it? What keeps you in such a good mood all the time?" he asked. Andy shrugged.

"Well gee, I don't know. I guess I've always been this way. I try not to overthink things, my mama said people who do aren't very happy," he said. Cooper hummed in thought and nodded. "I just try to appreciated the little things in life, like the woods and all of you," he said honestly. Cooper wasn't expecting that and felt a warmth grow in his chest Hmm. He supposed he meant something to these people, after working together for so long, but hearing it aloud was nice to hear. Within his work, he was rarely shown appreciation least of all open affection. It felt nice.

His expression softened and he gave him a small but genuine smile. "Thank you. I appreciate you too," he made sure to let him know the feeling was mutual. He went into the empty conference room and grabbed one of the stacked donuts. He took a moment to admire the organized arrangement, noting how a few stacks of two were short one or were gone completely. He pulled out the tape recorder, pressing the button down and talked into it.

"After studying at the library, I now find myself at the sheriff's office. I briefly spoke with Andy about what makes him happy, and he gave the the sage advice of appreciating the little things in life. I know people often say to do so, but people rarely follow through. I'm trying to be better. I stand here looking down at the conference table that has donuts laid out on sheets of paper towels. Donuts are stacked two atop each other, and there are two rows of twelve. Lucy sets this up for us every night before she leaves. I never really gave much thought about how much time she puts into doing this... I find my talk with Andy was rather helpful. I will continue to try and do as he suggested."

He clicked it off and grabbed a donut, taking a bite. He took out his note pad and tapped his pencil against his chin. He started writing down things he liked or that made him happy. He started by listing off names, followed by animals and food. He even wrote down his favorite kinds of trees. Surprisingly, he found he felt lighter after doing so. A soft smile graced his features as Harry walked in.

"Hey Coop, what's got you all smiley?" he asked, his own lips quirking up upon seeing the other man in a good mood. He held up the page.

"Oh nothing, just listing down some things that make me happy. Hawk told me a few instances of people who were able to connect with the White Lodge after experiencing immense joy. I did some reading and found that certain chemicals can cause such emotions. I just need to find a way to trigger them," he explained. Harry hummed in thought, and gestured to the list.

"May I?" Cooper nodded and handed it to him. He skimmed through it, a soft smile of his own appearing on his lips.

"I make you happy?" he asked, dimples shining.

He nodded, tilting his head down shyly. "You all do. You each have such unique and charming qualities."

"Well, uh, thanks. That means a lot coming from you. I don't know anyone else who's more unique and charming," Harry said. Then he cleared his throat and looked back down at the list. "Nature seems to really make you happy. You get a chance to try out that lure yet?" he asked to change the subject.

Cooper shook his head. "No, I've been so busy I haven't had the time," he admits.

"Well, it's a pretty slow day for once. I figure I can take some time to help in your efforts," Harry said, as though he didn't just want to leave work and go fishing. Cooper smiled brightly at him.

"I'd love that," he said earnestly. "Allow me to swing by my room and change." The sheriff nodded.

"Sure thing. I'll meet you by the trail just past the waterfall," he said. After jotting a few more things down, Cooper leaves for the Great Northern. He changed into his jeans and pulled on a flannel. He talked into the recorder as he buttoned his shirt.

"Don't get me wrong Diane, I do enjoy my suit. But sometimes it just feels better to wear something more comfortable." He clicked it off and went to the mentioned trailhead. Harry was already waiting for him, fishing gear in tow.

Cooper furrowed his brows as a smile pulled at his lips as he looked at the sheriff. What was that God awful thing on his head? He let a few snickers slip out as he parked.

"Interesting hat ya got there," he mused, making Harry grin.

"You like it? My lucky fishing hat," he said, pointing up at it. He nodded, not bothering to hide his grin.

"Lucky huh? We'll see about that," he said, taking a pole from his grasp.

"What you don't like it?" he asked teasingly.

"Aú contraire. I find it quite amusing," he said with a wide grin. He reached up and flicked one of the dangly rubber tassels from a lure.

It was a floppy bucket hat, tan in color and adorned in tacky bright lures. Harry was grinning ear to ear, adding to the goofiness of his look. It was impossible not to smile at him. He swatted Cooper's hand away with a short laugh.

"Let's just get down there while the fish are still biting," he joked, punching him in the arm lightly. Cooper beamed as he followed him down the dirt trail. It didn't take too long before they were at the water's edge and found a fallen tree to sit on. Harry opened his tackle box, pulling out a folded throwing net to catch some live bait. Cooper watched as he tossed the net into the water over a school of minnows, pulling it back to them and dumping them in the bait bucket. They each reached in and grabbed a fish, piercing it on the hook to cast it back into the water. Now, they wait.

They exchanged fishing stories, going back and forth as they waited for a bite. Harry's line was the first to go taught and he snatched up his rod to start reeling. Just as his fish was getting close to the bank, Cooper's own fishing pole began to dip slightly from a few tentative nibbles. Just as Harry reeled it in all the way, Cooper's line shot off and he quickly started reeling as well.

He unhooked the big mouth bass, inspecting it with a proud gaze. "Hell yeah, this'll cook up nicely," he said, placing it in the cooler he brought. Cooper's fish was putting up more of a struggle. He leaned back with all his body weight, biceps flexed and straining as he fought the fish. "Seems like you caught a lively one," Harry said. Cooper spared him a glance and a tight lipped smile; he would've definitely flashed him one of his signature thumbs up if he wasn't preoccupied.

After about 20 minutes he managed to bring the river monster in. It was a large male salmon, easily identifiable by the bright red coloring and large back hump that occurs during mating season. It was well over three feet and flopping on the bank. It seemed that trout weren't the only ones attracted to a green butt skunk.

At first, Cooper didn't know what to do with a fish this size. He placed his hands on it to lessen its flopping before straddling it. Placing one hand on its head to keep it pinned, he held his other out to Harry. "Pliers," he asked for the tool and he gifted it to him. Just as Cooper wrapped his hand around it, the salmon raised its ugly head up and bit his hand. When it flopped back down it yanked his arm down with it.

"Ow-hey!" Cooper exclaimed, steadying himself and smacking the top of its jaw until it released him. He pulled back his slightly bloody hand and removed the hook. He looked to his side and saw Harry stifling his laughter. "Yes I'm fine, thanks for your concern," he sassed, but the amused grin on his face let him know he was only teasing.

Harry was just short of cracking up. "Ihi'm sohorry, you okay?" he asked, grabbing some bandages.

"Yeah, just a few puncture wounds. Nothing I can't handle." He managed to pick up the still struggling fish and brought it back to the water's edge.

"After all that trouble, you're not keeping it?" he asked. Cooper shook his head and released it, watching it leave with a splash.

"Nope. Anything that puts up that hard of a fight deserves to live another day. Besides, I don't really have anywhere to cook it, and I'm not real big on salmon," he explained. He rinsed his wound and accepted the clean bandages, wrapping it up nice and tight.

"How very sporting of you," Harry said, and he meant it. He recast his rod as Cooper pulled out his recorder.

"Thank you," he said, flashing him a smile. "Update on the fishing. I just caught a large salmon and in the process of unhooking it, it bit me. Despite my tired arms and punctures, I found the experience enjoyable. It was... thrilling but not in the sense that I'm accustomed. It was a mundane excitement. Perhaps this feeling is what will help me contact the White Lodge."

He clicked it off and found Harry studying him. "Mundane excitement, huh?"

He nodded. "My line of work is often exciting, but the stakes are always higher. I find it refreshing to feel a rush of adrenaline when mine or someone else's life isn't on the line."

Harry shifted a little closer. "You really think this feeling might be what gets you to the White Lodge?" he questioned.

"I do. But I don't think it's one particular event or emotion that will get me there. From what I've read the optimal amount of endorphins and serotonin come from a range of feelings. Based on my study session at the library, I'd say that a mixture of excitement and laughter would be my best bet," he mused aloud.

"Too bad there's no comedians in town, I bet that would do the job," Harry mused. Cooper allowed himself to smirk.

"I suppose if I stare at that hat long enough, I just might burst into giggles," he said in a teasing manner. Harry's jaw dropped at the playful insult.

"Hey don't dis the hat!" he exclaimed, a hand flying up to cover the top of it protectively.

"Don't worry, it was more of a jab at your taste in fashion," he said good naturedly.

"I'll have you know that's worse. When did you get so sassy anyway?" Harry asked. He chuckled and poked his side in retaliation. The corner's of Cooper's mouth twitched as he flinched away.

"I can have my moments. I do spend a lot of time with Albert," he mused, rubbing the slight tingles from his side when suddenly it hit him. There really was no easier or faster way to pump his body full of adrenaline and endorphins, even if the reaction was more forced than voluntary. The results would be the same, wouldn't they? His eyes widened at the realization.

He clapped his hands together loudly, making Harry jump. "That's it!" he exclaimed, excitement showing on his face from his revelation.

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. "What- Albert?" he questioned, not following Cooper's train of thought. He shook his head, smiling now that he finally had an answer to his dilemma.

"No, tickling," he clarified. Harry cocked his head, a smirk on his lips. He was intrigued.

"Didn't know you were ticklish Coop." If Harry squinted, he thought he could see the hint of a blush on his cheeks.

"I am, and it's a good thing because right now, it's the only thing I can think of that might work to get me to the White Lodge. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy fishing, but the bite did put a damper on my mood," he grumbled, glaring at his bandaged hand. You could start to see blood seep through the white cloth.

"So a last resort kinda thing?" Harry asked. And was Cooper crazy, or was he a little closer? Cooper nodded.

"Exactly. So uh, would you be so kind as to..." he trailed off, and in lieu of finishing his sentence he wiggled his fingers in the air, hoping he got the message. Oh he got it all right. Sheriff Truman was grinning like the cat who ate the canary.

"To tickle you?" he asked for clarification. The ghost of a blush on Cooper's cheeks darkened. "Yes that." Suddenly Harry was straddling his legs, pushing him down the rest of the way.

"Ya don't have to tell me twice!" he exclaimed.

"You don't have to seem so eager," Cooper said, already squirming. It was the last coherent thing he said before Truman's fingers began prodding his sides. He gasped and soft snickers began to fill the air. There was no point in trying to hold back; he'd be laughing soon enough regardless, and the whole point of this was to create the right concoction of emotions and chemicals in his brain to reach the White Lodge.

Harry kneaded his sides and Cooper yelped, hands instinctively shooting down to protect his sides. You'd think with all his special training that he'd be defending himself better, but he was only weakly slapping at his hands. To be fair, he was practicing a lot of self restraint by not just crawling into the river to save himself.

"You got a nice laugh Coop, ya know that?" Harry asked with a genuine smile. Cooper nodded, mouth open in a wide grin as laughter flowed freely from his mouth. "Ihihihi've been tohohold!"

"Whoa now, I can't have you going all cocky on me like that. Guess I'll just have to knock you down a peg," he teased, walking up his ribs. He shook his head and snorted, nose scrunched as Harry scratched between each rib. The higher his fingers climbed, the louder and more frantic his giggling became.

Just as Harry reached the top of his ribs, he stopped. Cooper sighed in relief, thinking he might be done. He wasn't so lucky.

"Do me a favor and lift your arms up," Harry said, not even trying to hide his mischievous smirk anymore. He curled in on himself, chuckling nervously and shook his head.

"Nohoho," he giggled, wrapping his arms around himself. Harry cocked his head, arching a brow.

"No?" he asked in amusement. Cooper shook his head again to confirm.

"And why not?" he asked, hands on his hips. The sight alone made Cooper feel giddy with anticipation.

"Ihi'm not supid Harry, I know you'll just tickle me more," he answered with a wide smile. Harry snorted out a short laugh.

"I know you're not. And I promise I won't," he said, hiding his crossed fingers behind his back. Cooper gave him a skeptical look. "That's a lie."

"Hey I said I'd promise! Have you ever known me to break a promise?" he tried to convince him. He eyed the sheriff up and down and decided there was a 50/50 chance he'd just attack again, and this little game of theirs was fun, he had to admit. So he took that chance, already knowing the outcome.

He lifted his arms slowly, tentatively as he watched the other carefully. His arms were halfway above his head when Harry smirked down at him, flashing his crossed fingers out from behind his back. Cooper's eyes widened and he moved to bring his arms back down, but alas, it was too late. He immediately darted for his exposed hollows, scribbling over the shirt clad skin. His flannel didn't offer much protection and he was soon thrown into deep hysterics.

His arms came crashing down, laughter freely escaping his smiling mouth. He only succeeded in trapping his hands, however he knew better than to try raising his arms a second time. "You lihihihahar!" he squealed. Harry smirked and picked up the pace, grinning wider when the agent's high pitched giggling turned more frantic.

"If you cross your fingers it's a freebie," he claimed. Cooper shook his head, grappling to shove his friend's hands away.

"Thahahat's such bullshihihit!" he called him out. And yeah, it was bullshit, but Harry couldn't let him get away with saying it was.

"Think you just sealed your fate Coop," he teased, kneading his belly and sending him into a steadier stream of giggles.

"Nohoho dohohon't!" he whined, legs kicking weakly, or rather, weakly for a special agent like himself. Harry scoffed, not even trying to hide how much fun he was having.

"Don't? Don't what?" he asked, drumming his fingers. Cooper's giggles sputtered out as he shook his head, fist pounding against the ground.

"Ihihi'm nohohot falling for thahat one," he forced out through his laughter.

"Falling for what? I can't know what not to do if you won't tell me," he said, sounding so innocent that you almost wanted to believe him. Almost. Cooper wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Dohohon't mahake it wohohorse!" he pleaded. Harry shook his head in "defeat" and clicked his tongue.

"Damn, I was really hoping you'd fall for that," he lamented, hands moving down to squeeze his hips. Cooper convulsed, jolting up slightly and trapping his wrists. They held each other's gaze for a moment, Cooper's eyes full of an excited kind of fear while Harry's shone with an evil sort of mischief.

"Bad spot?" he taunted, giving another squeeze. He evoked the same reaction as before, but this time with an added squeak. Cooper went completely still, cheeks rosy as he gasped for breath. There was no use in lying, he'd be proven wrong anyway. He nodded shyly, looking anywhere but Harry's smug face.

"Good." He immediately drilled his thumbs into the divots of his hips as he gently squeezed them with the rest of his hand. Cooper instantly burst into a tidal wave of cackles that drowned out the sounds of nature around them. Even when thrown in hysterics, it was still a joyous, beautiful sound. It was smooth and had a deep tenor to it that made you feel warm inside. His nose crinkled adorably, and his mouth was open wide in a constant smile, allowing his melodious laugh to ring through the air.

“How ya holdin’ up?” Harry asked just to check in. Cooper was too busy laughing his heart out to answer with words, so he flashed him a thumbs up instead. He shook his head and chuckled at his signature gesture.

Encouraged by his reassurance, he continued his journey downward by squeezing his thighs. Cooper snorted loudly and his blush darkened.

"Aw Coop, I didn't know you snorted! Do it again," he taunted, pinching and scribbling his thighs until he snorted again.

"Nohohooo," he whined in embarrassment, hiding his face in his hands. Harry was having the time of his life.

"Remember bud, you asked for this," he reminded smugly.

"Ihihi knohohow! Shuhut up!"

"I don't think I will. In fact, I think teasing makes it better, don't you agree?" he asked, scratching along his inner thighs. Cooper squealed and clamped his legs together to protect himself.

"Ihihihi said shuhuhut uhuhup!"

"I'll take that as a yes then," he smirked, and even winked at him. Oh he would never live this down. Not if Harry could help it.

He started skittering his fingers atop his knees, and Cooper shrieked, legs kicking out frantically. "Nohohot thehehere!"

Sheriff Truman didn't listen and instead squeezed around his kneecaps. Cooper tried to curl in on himself, laying back on the ground when he failed due to laughing too hard. Though when Harry went to scratch the backs of his knees, he barely laid a finger on him before a fist connected with his face.

Harry recoiled and grabbed his bleeding nose, letting out a pained chuckle. "Damn, ya got me good Coop," he said, still managing a smile. A hand covered Cooper's mouth from shock.

"I am so sorry Harry! I tried to refrain from hurting you, but my instincts took over," he quickly apologized. Harry shook his head, grabbing his other hand and pulling him up to a sitting position.

"Heh, it's okay. Guess I got what I deserve," he mused. His nose had already stopped bleeding, but it left a thin trickle above his upper lip that he wiped away.

"You were just helping me out," he said, patting his shoulder. "Thanks by the way," he said, cheeks still tinged pink.

"Any time," he said with a warm smile. "So, did you have as much fun as I did?" he asked teasingly.

"I'm not answering that," Cooper said, looking away. Harry barked out a laugh.

"I think you did." The FBI agent only hummed. Harry spotted his tape recorder and nabbed it.

"Hey give it!" Harry held him back by placing a hand on his chest and pushing him away as he pressed the record button.

"Hi Diane, Sheriff Truman here. I think it's safe to say Agent Cooper will be successful in his resilient efforts to reach the White Lodge. That's all." He turned it off, wearing a smug grin.

"Proud of yourself?" Cooper asked in amusement.

"Oh very. It's not every day that I get to reduce the famous Agent Cooper to a giggly mess," he said, wiggling his fingers at him. He subtly curled in on himself, chuckling nervously.

"R-right. And it won't be a daily occurrence, unless you want retaliation," he warned.

"We'll see about that," he smirked. They were both distracted by a tug on Cooper's line. He grabbed his fishing rod and started reeling it in.

When they returned to the sheriff’s office, Andy gasped seeing Truman’s swollen, bruised nose and Cooper’s wrapped hand.

“Good lord you two did you get in a fight or somethin’?” he asked with concern. Harry smirked and nodded, casting a glance towards the agent.

“You could say that.”

Cooper quickly stepped in before he could reveal anything too embarrassing. “Nonsense, I got bit by a fish and his line broke when he was reeling one in and he smacked himself in the face with the fishing rod,” he easily lied. Harry’s smirk grew as he hummed in “agreement.”

~~~~

That night, Cooper had a peaceful yet strange dream. He opened his eyes to find he was laying on a white fainting couch. At first he thought he was in a room, but upon inspecting his surroundings, he realized he was in a vast open plain. The floor was marble tile and the empty space around him looked to be white at first glance, but was in fact an extremely pale pink.

Out of the nothingness walked Laura Palmer. Instead of the low cut black dress she normally wore in his visions and dreams, she wore a white flowing gown. It billowed behind her even though there was no wind. Cooper sat up on the chaise lounge and stared at her as she approached.

"Windom Earle is not the biggest threat," she spoke softly and clearly, her voice like a bell. It was strikingly different than her Black Lodge counterpart. "The other you is." He leaned forward in his seat.

"The other me?" he asked. She nodded, a halo of light illuminating her from behind.

"In another world he escapes. Use your second chance wisely and leave the Black Lodge before he does," she advised.

"How can I do that?" he asked, soaking in every piece of knowledge she offered up.

"The Black Lodge is disorienting. You must not show even an ounce of fear or self doubt. In that other world, you did not leave until 20 years later. In another, the Lodge annihilated your soul." Cooper stared at her intently.

"And how do you know these things won't happen again?" he asked.

"Because infinite universes bring infinite possibilities. Use the tools I gave you and you will receive a different outcome," she said. Laura walked up to him and cupped his face in her hands, placing a kiss on his forehead. She leaned in and whispered, "Thank you for giving me justice."

"You're welcome," he said back. His vision faded to white, then to pitch darkness. He jolted awake with a gasp, reeling from everything he had learned. His chest heaved and he reached for the recorder on his bedside table.

"Diane you won't believe it, but I just had the strangest dream..."

#dale cooper #agent dale cooper #harry truman #sheriff truman #officer hawk #officer andy #lucy #officer lucy #?#twin peaks #twin peaks fic #twin peaks tickle fic #ticklish!cooper

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lloydskywalkers · 4 years

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heLLO i’m so sorry this took so long!! tumblr did not, in fact, eat your ask this time, i just took five years with the response T-T i did very much want to write something about Jay and Cliff (because that’s a criminally underused relationship), but unfortunately season 12 has come out since i wrote All I’m Asking For and kind of...made things...a lot angstier :’( so this leans much more on the angst side than the fluff, but!! there is some in there, i promise

It happens mid-battle, which is never a good time for anything to happen, really, other than a spontaneous victory. If it had happened at any other time, Jay would’ve gone with him. Any other time, he tells himself, he would’ve found the time to talk.

But it’s mid-battle right after Sensei Wu’s gone missing in time, and ironically enough, time is the last thing Jay has on his hands.

It’s not even the worst of battles — just some jerks who actually happen to have too much time and advanced high-grade weaponry on their hands — but it’s enough to send the city’s civilians screaming for cover as another chunk of building comes raining down toward them. Normally Cole would take this kind of thing, since Jay’s more about the agile, dynamic stuff (not because his arms are a whole lot like half-cooked spaghetti noodles next to Cole’s, not at all). But Cole’s on the other side of the city running collateral damage watch with Zane, so Jay’s the only one around to snatch the poor man out of harm’s way before a chunk of concrete squashes him.

“Whoo, that was close,” he breathes out, as dust mushrooms out from the impact nearby. Jay carefully sets the man down, coughing briefly and tugging his mask into place. “You alright?”

The man doesn’t reply, staring at Jay with wide, eerily familiar eyes. “You,” he breathes, as if Jay is some miraculous apparition — which, sure, Jay just saved his life, but like, he’s Jay. He’s a whole two or three inches shorter than this guy, he’s not super impressive.

“You’re the lightning ninja,” the man continues. “You’re — Jay?”

Caught between being pleased he’s recognized and being slightly creeped out, Jay opens his mouth to reply. Then he looks at the guy, actually looks at the guy, and immediately shuts it. And a good thing, too, because Jay’s mouth suddenly goes so dry it kinda feels like a dust vacuum.

“Y-you’re Cliff Gordon,” he manages, on a wheezing kind of whisper. “H-hi. Hi, hello, it’s—”

An honor? Jay’s half-hysterical mind throws at him. What is he supposed to say? Hello, long-lost father who gave me up as a baby, I figured that out, by the way? Does Cliff even know Jay’s his son? Does he even know his name’s Jay? Oh, why oh why has Jay put off acknowledging anything that happened with Nadakhan for this long, just because the entire thing’s a minefield worth of trauma and it makes him wildly nauseous to think about it at all, it doesn’t mean—

“Jay,” Cliff Gordon repeats, his eyes wide and shiny, and Jay’s stomach drops like he’s on a roller coaster. Because the way he says his name — it’s like he knows, it’s like he cares—

“You, uh,” Jay swallows, utterly oblivious to the exploding building two blocks back. “I think…you knew my mom?”

Alright, points for Jay for the lamest segue into this possible, but the beaming, almost-painful smile that splits Cliff’s face at least drowns part of the shame out.

“You could say that,” he murmurs, looking part-overjoyed, part-terrified. “If you know that, then — you must know I’m your — I never meant to lose—”

Cliff cuts off painfully, dragging a hand through his graying hair. Jay vaguely notes the puffs of dust that go drifting off from it, before the awkward silence gets too heavy and his mouth kicks back into action.

“Yeah, kinda…figured that out,” Jay laughs, nervously. “I don’t, um, I’m not mad…? If that’s what you’re worried about, but it’d be uh, nice to…”

“Of course,” Cliff nods fervently, as if he’s somehow psychic and can mind-read the ten thousand words’ worth of questions barraging across Jay’s brain. “Of course, we should talk, there’s so much I need to explain, I—”

Jay’s radio interrupts him in a bursting screech of static, leaving them both wincing.

“Jay, any day you wanna get back in the game, we could use a little help here!”

Kai’s voice is strained, and Jay glances from the battle to his — Cliff — with wild eyes. Cliff shakes his head, waving toward his teammates.

“Go on, go on,” he says, something like pride in his voice. “You’ve got a much more important job to do.” He pauses, his eyes bright and painfully hopeful. “But you’ll — you’ll come and visit me sometime, will you?”

“Yeah,” Jay nods, feeling oddly shaky. “Of course, I’d — I’d really like that.”

Cliff Gordon’s face splits into full smile, and Jay takes that as his cue to leave before he does something hideously embarrassing, like run his mouth or try to — to hug the guy. His eyes catch the bright flash of the Destiny’s Shadow, and he jumps up as Lloyd tilts the plane, Zane reaching a hand out to snag Jay and haul him in.

“Nice timing,” Jay gasps in thanks as he finds his seat, fumbling once with the tight squeeze. “Sorry about the wait.”

Zane simply squeezes his shoulder briefly. “I am merely glad to see you in one piece,” he says, wincing briefly as another explosion goes off. Jay cringes as his eyes rake over the smoking flames. Man, they’re gonna be stuck doing repairs here forever—

“Who was that?”

Jay startles back to himself at Lloyd’s voice, blinking rapidly. He opens his mouth, prepared to unleash a floodgate’s worth of “you’ll never believe this”—

Then stops dead as Zane and Lloyd stare curiously at him, awaiting answer. Jay shuts his mouth, and swallows.

How is he supposed to announce he’s met his father — his second, whole father, in addition to the super great one he already has — to them? To Zane, who barely got any time with his only parent before he died? To Lloyd, who's still actively grieving having lost his only dad for like, the third time? How’s that gonna go over, huh, motormouth?

So Jay shakes his head, forcing an easy laugh instead. “Just some random fan.”

************

He means to follow up right after. He does, really, but everything goes to hell in a handbasket so quickly Jay barely even has time to breath. First it’s the months of searching for Sensei, then it’s guarding the royal family, then they’re on the run, then they’re watching Garmadon brutalize their baby brother on live television and he’s dying on a table and the city’s being destroyed by a giant and the Bounty’s being crushed with them on it and they’re running for their lives in the First Realm and Sensei Wu’s a teenager and—

They’re kind of busy, that’s the point he’s trying to make.

Eventually, there’s a brief spot of time he could go, maybe. It’s right after they’ve returned from the First Realm, though, and that’s...not a great time.

The city’s still stumbling back to its feet, for one, and the loss of the emperor and empress doesn’t exactly help. Their little family’s left stumbling back to its feet even slower, as beaten down and utterly exhausted as they are. The four of them had their own run of it in the First Realm, but Lloyd and Nya didn’t have it any better back in Ninjago, and the whole thing’s just — just a big mess. And sure, maybe reuniting with his long-lost biological father now could like, actually benefit Jay’s half-shredded mental state, since the guy seemed pretty happy to see him, but…

But fathers.

Lloyd still wanders their apartment like a ghost at night, his eyes dull and haunted from whatever night terror he’s been graced with now. He wanders a little bit like that in the day, too, eyes glazing over and hands trembling at times. Jay knows why, of course — they all know, it’s not a secret. Not with the high-definition TV footage that keeps circulating. And they — they try to help, of course, they do their very best, but there are some things only time can fix.

Jay watches Lloyd’s eyes shutter at the mention of his father, and wonders if his entire life is enough to fix whatever’s been broken with his own.

In other words, Jay decides to be a coward.

Ironically enough, however, it ends up being Lloyd that encourages him to go. Not that he realizes that.

“Don’t bother making extra for dinner tonight, Zane,” Lloyd announces wearily, as he trudges through the kitchen. “My mom’s on the road again.”

Zane blinks at that, then frowns. “Where is she off to now?”

“Don’t know,” Lloyd says shortly, before promptly stalking off toward the rooftop exit. Jay and Zane stand there in silence for a moment, Zane still methodically stirring the rice. Then he turns to Jay, and fixes him with a look.

“Grumpy-about-parents Lloyd is normally Nya’s job, you know,” Jay huffs, but he relents, following Lloyd’s quiet footsteps to the roof. Lloyd’s curled up in his usual spot, close enough to the edge that it frightened the life out of Kai the first time they found him. Jay doesn’t exactly get why, because Lloyd’s sad, yeah, but he’s not—

Well, maybe Kai’s just scared Lloyd’ll trip and fall off the roof. That’s what Jay’s choosing to believe, for his own sake.

Either way, Lloyd looks pretty sad now, so Jay plops himself right down next to him with a huff, neatly startling Lloyd so badly he almost does trip right off the roof.

“Woah, hey, it’s just me,” Jay says quickly, throwing his hands up. Lloyd glares at him, and Jay makes a face. “Don’t give me that, you’re the one that’s supposed to have ninja reflexes.”

“Hmph,” Lloyd grumbles, wrapping his arms back around his knees, but he looks slightly less likely to zap Jay’s nervous system full of energy, so he takes that as a go-ahead.

“So, your mom, huh,” Jay starts, with all the intent of comforting Lloyd and comforting Lloyd alone. “Hey, random question, but how did, um, why’d you decide to let her back into your life, in the first place?”

“What?” Lloyd stares at him. Jay cringes. Oops, that wasn’t supposed to come out. Classic Walker, he’s brought his own issues right into the middle of it, like an absolute selfish—

Great, now he wants to throw himself off the roof.

“Sorry, sorry, forget I said that,” Jay babbles, desperately trying to re-route the conversation. “Just — forget I opened my mouth, okay? Please?”

Lloyd shakes his head, looking more concerned than sad now. He’s even unfolded from his tight little Lloyd-angst-ball, which Jay would count as a victory if it weren’t for all the wrong reasons. “Jay, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course!” Jay blusters. Lloyd stares at him. Jay gives him a bright smile back. Lloyd continues to stare.

“Okay, fine, not really, but — that’s not why I came up here,” Jay admits, cheeks flushing.

Lloyd’s eyebrows furrow in concern. “Is everything…okay with your parents?” His voice is tentative, as if he’s almost scared of Jay’s response, and Jay can’t have that.

“My parents are fine,” he replies, firmly. “But, uh, thanks for asking. I’m just…” Jay trails off, abruptly realizing that explaining this is going to require mentioning Cliff Gordon, which is going to require mentioning that he’s adopted, which is going to require explaining why he hasn’t told the rest of his team this. None of which are options Jay wants to explore at the moment, so he desperately tries to backtrack.

Lloyd, faithfully caring brother that he is to the bitter end, beats him to it. “Well, even if they are fine, um. To answer your question, I guess I…I needed to know.” He blows his breath out, glancing out over the skyline, half-broken buildings forming dark silhouettes against the setting sun. “I needed to know why she - she left me. If it was me, or if it was her, or…whatever, you know?” Lloyd bites his lip, and Jay suddenly feels like a horrible person for putting him through the mother thing right after the father thing’s been blown to smithereens.

And yet.

“Yeah, I get that,” Jay says quietly, letting it sink in. And he does, really. More than he thought he would, and this is probably a big glaring sign from the heavens, huh.

“But I don’t know,” Lloyd continues, sounding small as his hands tug on a frayed thread from a torn spot in his gi. “Maybe sometimes it’s better to cut people out entirely, too.”

He looks terribly worn when he says that, too young and too old for his age all at once, and Jay decides he hates the expression on his youngest brother.

“I’ll remember that, next time you steal the last of my coffee stash,” he says.

Lloyd gives a startled huff of laughter, before jabbing him in the side with his elbow. “That’s not what I meant,” he rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile edging his mouth now — not quite the Lloyd smile he’s used to, but it’s not as frail as it’s been, either. Lloyd doesn’t look so much like porcelain that’s been stepped on anymore, and the proud spark of joy Jay feels from that is enough to convince him that it’s a good idea.

He did promise Cliff Gordon he would, after all, and besides — knowing can’t be that bad, and Jay’s a firm believer in the wisdom of knowledge, and all that.

He’s also a firm believer of closure, but he’s stopped claiming to be one, since it probably comes off pretty hypocritical lately.

************

Jay doesn’t tell anyone where he’s going. He doesn’t even tell them he’s going at all, he just…waits for a convenient opportunity to slip out when no one will notice.

He wishes he had. He wishes he’d told Cole, told Nya or - or anyone he was going, and at the same time he’s glad he told no one at all. He’s not quite sure he could bear anyone else seeing whatever look’s on his face right now, on top of everything else.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” the woman at the estate tells him, her eyes teary. “Cliff Gordon passed away a month ago.”

That…doesn't make sense, at first. It takes a minute, to sink through the odd roaring noise in Jay’s ears, and finally reach his brain.

“Passed…away,” he repeats, blankly.

The lady nods, looking at him with so much pity Jay kind of wants to kick her shins. “It was his heart, poor man. He hasn’t been so well the last few years, you know.”

“Right.” Jay feels a little like he does when he’d used to jump off his dragon, except this time he’s been tossed from it and he’s free-falling to a short and sudden stop.

“Did you know him?” she asks, curiously.

Jay tries to make some form of response, like “I was his son”, except all that comes out is a whole bunch of nothing. Nothing, just like what’s left in Jay’s head. He blinks rapidly, trying to banish the image seared into his brain.

Cliff Gordon’s eyes, bright and painfully hopeful.

You’ll come visit me sometime, will you?

Jay swallows thickly. “Sorry, if you’ll, uh — excuse me, I think lunch was bad.” Then he ducks for the nearby bushes, and proceeds to be horribly sick.

He tells himself, through heaving gasps, that the hot tears are only reflexive.

************

And that’s that. Jay, stupid, selfish Jay, waited too long and now he’s lost his chance forever. Because he was — what, scared? Nervous?

He’s not scared now. He kind of just hates himself, which isn’t the newest thing in the world, but this time it burns like the worst of scrapes and crawls up on him in the middle of the night, screaming what-if’s into his brain until Jay’s biting down on his pillow before he starts screaming himself.

It hurts, but he’s got no one to blame but himself. Jay messed this up all his own and he sure as heck doesn’t deserve any sympathy from his team for it. So he’s not going to even give them the chance, because they’ll never know. Jay will take this secret to the grave, because imagining the looks on everyone else’s face when he tells them he ruined this makes him want to put himself in the grave.

How long did he wait for Jay, how long did he—

Jay’s just going to drive himself insane with his own stupid brain and that’s that.

Well, that’s supposed to be that. It would’ve been that, except Cole is perceptive and Cole knows him too well, and Cole spots the look on his face when he’s telling him everything he’s found out about his mother, since Jay can’t even hide that from him.

And maybe Jay’s just weak, or so desperate for some form of reassurance or - or attention that he cracks, and spills the whole sorry thing to Cole. To his undying credit, Cole doesn’t even look like he despises Jay once. Instead, he looks at him with all this sympathy and kindness and oh, if Jay was a crier—

Well, actually, Jay is a crier, and ends up bawling into Cole’s gi at two in the morning, but what else is new.

The important thing is that Cole is Jay’s very best friend and possibly favorite person in the whole entire world, and Jay is going to murder him in cold blood for dragging him to Cliff Gordon’s estate and forcing their way in.

“If he cared enough to want to meet you, he’ll have cared enough to leave you in his will,” Cole reminds him, staunchly. “He knows how busy your life was, so I’ll bet you anything he understood.”

“Stop trying to make me feel better,” Jay hisses, as Cole manhandles him down the mansion’s — the mansion’s! — hallways. “I don’t deserve it.”

“For the love of—” Cole cuts off with an exasperated huff. “It is not your fault this happened. This is not on you. How many times are we going to have to do this, Jay.”

“Until the time you let me wallow in miserable peace,” Jay mutters. What does Cole know, it’s not like he totally bailed on his parent and then let them die. Not that Jay could do anything about that last part, sure, but the rest of it.

Cole stops them in one of the massive living rooms, finally fixing Jay with one of those stares. Uh oh.

“At least read the letter,” Cole says, suddenly pleading. “You don’t have to look at anything else if you don’t want to, but please read the letter. For me?”

Oh, Jay hates him. He tells him so, even as his glare falters in the face of Cole’s stupid puppy eyes.

“Is that a yes?” Cole replies hopefully, offering the letter they were handed with the estate key. Jay gives him a last, withering glare before snatching the letter from him.

“You’re the worst,” he mutters, as he tears open the envelope with shaky fingers. He hesitates for a beat, before mustering whatever pathetic courage he has and tugging the paper out, unfolding it as his eyes find the carefully scrawled words.

My dear Jay—

He promptly bursts into tears.

“Jay wha — Jay what’s wrong, is it that bad?” Cole is frantic as he hovers over him, his hands half-caught between reaching for Jay and reaching for the letter in his hands. Jay shakes his head, trying to stifle the sudden waterfall’s worth of tears that decided to make an appearance, and clutches the paper tighter.

Cole makes an anxious sound. “Jay, you know he’s — if he’s said something bad, it’s — he doesn’t know anything, right?”

Oh no, now Jay wants to cry harder. Cole sounds desperately concerned, kind and caring and genuine like Cole always is, and Jay feels like the worst person in the world.

Stupid, Jay, he scolds himself hotly, swiping angrily at his eyes. Stupid, selfish Jay. He’s got nothing to be crying about. Zane only had one dad, and he doesn’t go around whining about it. Lloyd’s got one dad who’s died three times, and may as well be dead now ‘cause he’s such a jerk. Kai and Nya didn’t even have any parents until last year. And Cole lost his mom who he loved, he loved so much, and he’s still here supporting Jay — stupid, selfish Jay, who’s got two entire stable parents who he’s never once doubted love him, and yet here he is, crying over the one he never really knew.

“Jay,” Cole tries again, quieter this time. “Jay, you’re allowed to be sad about your dad. It’s not a contest.”

Stupid, perceptive Cole.

“He said he loves me,” Jay finally croaks, swiping at the tears all over his face. “He didn’t even know me, Cole, how was he supposed to know that?”

Cole’s eyes soften, all melty and gross. “You’re his son, Jay, he knew you.” His lips quirk up in a smile. “Besides, he talked to you once, right? You make some pretty impactful first impressions, motormouth.”

Jay can’t decide whether to be insulted or more flattered than he’s been in the last six months. He decides to punch Cole weakly in the shoulder, before crying harder. Cole doesn’t even flinch at the hit, built like a rock as he is, and simply snatches Jay’s arm and tugs him close, wrapping his arms around him tightly. And oh, Jay wants to pull away, he doesn’t want to break down in his dead father’s mansion like this, Jay doesn’t have a lot of dignity but he’s at least got his shreds, but—

Cole gives the best stupid hugs in the world, and what’s Jay gonna do, deny such instant love and comfort? The risk of hurting Cole’s feelings far outweighs Jay’s tattered dignity, he tells himself. That’s why he clings to Cole like an overgrown barnacle and wails into his shoulder like a broken faucet. That’s the only reason, obviously.

“It’s okay to cry, you big moron,” Cole says after he’s calmed down, briefly squeezing tighter. “I get it. But you really should read more than the first lines of that thing. I think…I think it’ll help.”

“This is all I’ve got, though,” Jay sniffles. “I don’t — I lost any other connection I’ve got to him.”

“Sometimes you just gotta work with what you have,” Cole says gently, a little bitter, a little sweet. “And somehow, you have to make it enough.”

Jay pauses at that, thinking back to the statue miles and miles beneath a mountain, the delicate locket Cole had turned over in his fingers. He looks back to the letter in his hands, the lines and lines of all the words his father left for him, and remembers Lloyd’s words about knowing.

His fingers tighten on the edges of his letter. Jay, he decides, is done being scared. He’s got Cole at his side — what’s he got to be afraid of, anyways?

“Okay,” he says, swiping once more at his eyes, and giving Cole a watery smile. “Okay. Help me read through the whole thing?”

“I wore my old sweatshirt for a reason,” Cole replies, making a show of wringing his sleeve out. Jay whacks him with the envelope, but the laugh he shudders out feels real, this time. He gently spreads the letter out atop his lap, focusing on the words again.

It’ll be enough. It’ll sting, but…it’ll be enough.

Like Lloyd’s tattered photograph, like Cole’s mother’s last words — it has to be.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #jay walker #cole brookstone #lloyd garmadon #since they're both...fairly present at points gdnkfgj #i just have many feelings about jay apparently T-T #my fic #answered

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

Hey hey!! How are you? I hope you're doing well 💛 sooo I was scrolling down on tags and than I saw one of your matchups and I'd like to have a romantic matchup if it's ok ^^

Here I go heheh

About my appearance: Height is 5'3, I've got long and wavy auburn hair, brown eyes, small waist + lil bit thick thighs aand small hands

About my personality: I've got a really mixed personality kdwjbednjds (Sun: Aquarius, Rising: Leo, Moon: Scorpio, Intj) I can be either calm or chaotic. Actually it depends on people I'm hanging out with. I can be blunt from time to time, most of the time, I don't describe myself a very talkative one but I really am a good listener and I like talkative people. But when I start talking? I literally won't shut my mouth ☠️ I am a generous, supportive and caring person. Also a lazy one enbdndndnd and a sarcastic one 👀 what can I say? I love teasing people I love heheh

Hobbies ect: I was a vb player in highschool 2 years ago and a kickboxer. I can't do something without listening music, I can't live without music!! Also, I can play guitar and ukulele and I can sing, I love drawing :> I used to skate and I like swimming (But at the same time I'm afraid of ocean -only deep parts- and fishes.) I'm afraid of butterflies KSBEBNSBS I DON'T LIKE THEM but I love bees they're so cute heheh anyways. Oh btw my love language is absulately physical touch, and surprise!! I am a touch starved person 👌🏻 I sometimes buy food for street animals, I can't stay put not petting them if I see one ksjenejsnsnbs my friends are tired of this and once I saw a cat or dog:

Me: *gasp* AWWW HEY THERE BUDDY!!

Friend: Ah shit here we go again.

Heheh

That's all, I hope it's not too long. Have a good day love youu 💛

Well shit. Sorry, I forgot adding: I can't stand selfishness and injustice. And I like helping people. And as you can see, I am a smart-dumb one... Also I can be very insecure about myself, my mood swings sometimes and I love sleeping heheh that's all (really) sorry for spamming your asks 🤦🏻‍♀️ oh God I'm such a dumbass

Bokuto Koutarou

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐭

So he met you at the park

He was there just feeding the duckies

(I strongly believe this man has a routine of going to the park just to feed the ducks)

And omg

What a coincidence

There you were

Also feeding those majestic birds

You guys started talking about feeding wildlife and whatnot

And I feel like mid-conversation he hit you with the "so... you come here often" line

Cuz oh boy did this man think you were gorgeous

And he really liked talking to you!

After that day it sorta became a habit for you two to meet up at the park just to hang

Most of the time you both would bring food to feel all the little park critters

But you guys would really just chat

And on occasion play on the actual playground 444

It didn't take long for Bokuto to realize his feelings for you

I mean come on

He literally went to the park almost EVERY DAY to see you

If that's not love I don't know what is

And since he's just a bold person in general

He just straight up asked you to go out with him

And you being the sarcastic little shit you are responded with "jeez at least take me on a date first"

Jokingly of course

But Bokuto took you so seriously 444

So then he proceeded to ask you out on a date

I mean you still said yes sooooo

Things worked out in the end

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮

He loves how your energy is very flexible

Like one minute you can be all crazy with him

And the next minute you could both just be cuddling on the couch in silence

Either option sounds like a good time to him tho 👀

He loves that your love language is physical touch

I think everyone agrees on the fact that Bokuto is a VERY touchy person

So the fact that your cool with that AND he gets physical affection in return is great 👌

Ok I’m sorry but it needs to be said...

He loves your thighs 😀

Idk man I just see him as a thigh guy

#ThickThighsSaveLives

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

Ok so y’all still go to the park and feed the duckies

And that is one of the MANY MANY things he loves to do with you

But he also likes to go skating with you

Roller skating

Skateboarding

Ice Skating

Ok maybe a little less with the ice skating....

He just can’t keeps on slipping ok >:(

But honestly y’all could be doing anything together

He just likes spending time with you ☺️

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐜

Bokuto and you have opposite fears

Your afraid of butterflies

Bokuto loves butterflies!

Bu he’s afraid of bees 😀

I think if he sees a be he either books it in the opposite direction

Or just freezes

He always asks you to draw him something

And he keeps every drawing you give him!

After bragging about it to everyone on the team of course 😌

This man will NOT allow you to be insecure about yourself

He just won’t

He’s always hyping you up and complementing you

He thinks your beautiful and he’s gonna make sure you think that too

𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲

When Virgo and Aquarius join together in a love match, they bring out either the best or worst in one another.

Virgo has a more rigid, theory-oriented approach to life. The poetic Aquarian approach, on the other hand, knows nothing of the scientific world. But these two lovers may actually thrive on their differences; they grow together as they learn about one another.

Aquarius tends to passionate and temperamental while Virgo operates more methodically, and with little fuss. Virgo is very organized and levelheaded. Aquarius is modern and finds routine unthinkable. Virgo will find Aquarius exciting but may become annoyed trying to probe this artist’s mind. Aquarius will be upset by Virgo’s criticism, but will find the solid base Virgo provides very appealing.

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜

Nature

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #bokuto #Bokuto Koutarou #bokuto x y/n #bokuto x reader

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moldy-mold · 3 years

Text

Hello! It’s already May... Life updates - a roller coaster of emotions

A tempestuous, tearful April... Aghh the struggle has not eased up a bit. Living is just too expensive to be shouldered by part-time wages, meager freelance, and fickle confidence. My parents are disappointed - I’ve always tried to dodge the questions about my uncertain future. After all, I don’t have any answers.

What nearly broke my spirit was the humiliating scolding I received on my birthday. “You’re almost 30. Stop playing around at the cafe, don’t you know your bank account is nearly empty? How will you pay for this? If you can’t afford car insurance then just bike to work!” I didn’t even have time to think about how inconsiderate that was. In a daze, I hung up and went to my second part-time job that day.

Well, Dad, those are the questions I asked myself every single day. All I can do is keep trying even if you don’t believe in me. Because, despite everything, I still believe in myself.

Nothing good will come out of asking these punishing questions. I don’t know if things will get better or worse. Just gotta do what I can to get by as a small creature existing in this universe.

I learned to stop blaming myself for not being successful. Given the circumstances, I think the odds are stacked pretty high against most of us right now.

“Banish the nonsense. Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough.” - Annihilation

I’ve begun my investment journey! After studying how it all works I have come to understand the value of investing. It was one of my resolutions for this year and I’m glad I’ve achieved it.

My brother, a crypto enthusiast, knows my monetary plight and has been helping me out in the weirdest ways.

6 am text: “Hey Sis, you got $1000? Put it into Dogecoin... like NOW.”

I don’t like doing these kinds of high-risk-high-reward investments but what the heck, I was desperate. I applied for an account that can trade crypto.

In the end my account got rejected (there was no explanation) and I gave up. Because of course that would happen lol.

“Hey, do you have time to talk about the future?” “UM... are we breaking up???” “LOL don’t say it like that!”

My roommate / best friend decided she wanted to move to her own place and find her own way in life. Of course, my fragile heart, still tender from the previous month’s beating, took it very personally. I was reassured it wasn’t my fault - there are plenty of other valid reasons why.

We’ve been sharing an apartment for 6 years now, and although I knew it would happen someday, it was quite shocking to hear it being said to me in reality. At first, I laughed it off because I’ve been dreaming about moving out of the country anyway and it all works out. I’m an introverted, neat-freak, homebody! It’s perfect! But after a very pensive shower, I realized that I’m actually terrified to be without any companionship. Either way, I have to put my feelings aside because I don’t wanna hold her back from her dreams. I may have trouble accepting it now but hopefully I can genuinely be happy for her in time.

The Plant Life Please welcome Rokurou, the newest addition to my jungle.

It’s been a few weeks and he totally ate bugs already lol. Nice! I was thinking the smaller traps wouldn’t catch anything, but it turns out they’ve been doing the most work. The larger traps can’t catch ants or tiny gnats. They just crawl out after the trap snaps shut.

This venus fly trap is rather picky about what water he gets so I’ve been out there collecting rainwater in buckets JUST for him! Kind of a pain, but I will do whatever it takes to keep him alive.

It was a very tiny dream of mine to collect and care for carnivorous plants. If the shop had more varieties, I would probably buy them all.

I thought I was gonna die... Hostess for a day. One day while working at the cafe, this old Chinese man came in asking how much I made here. Then he told me if I work as a hostess/front desk person at his restaurant (which was next to the cafe, by the way), he will pay me more than the cafe. He slipped me $5 to go see him after my shift at 9pm. It was soooooo sketch. But I went anyway to at least hear him out after telling my roommate and my parents where I was going. You know... in case I die.

Luckily I didn’t die. It was a normal Chinese restaurant. I met the staff and they were all super cool and the mysterious old man goes by Mr. Lin.

Mr. Lin was very chill about it. He said I can have a trial run after my bakery shift on Saturday. If I don’t like it, I can just tell him no and he will pay me for my time.

I knew it was a bad idea to take another shift after a long shift at the cafe but I did it anyway. It was BUSY. Too busy for anyone to teach me how to be a hostess so I literally just had to guess what I’m supposed to be doing. It was kinda obvious though, showing people to their tables. I picked them at random bc I didn’t know if there was a method to seating people or not.

There are three different menus: Chinese, Korean and English and they’re ALL different. Depending on the nationality of who walks in, I have to decide for myself which menu to hand out. Uhhhhh despite being Asian myself, I cannot tell the difference between Korean and Chinese people lmao so I have to keep awkwardly asking people which menu they want. *screams*

The manager, Vincent, is so OP though. He knows exactly which menu to get every time. I was like HOW DO YOU KNOW?? He only responded with “working in the business for 24 years.”

Anyway, it was a long and confusing night of people thinking I am a waitress and me not knowing where the spoons are. But I don’t think this job is for me, even if it pays a lot.

There sure is plenty of demand for part-time food service workers and zero demand for full-time graphic designers... sigh. My journey doing random jobs in 2021 continues.

My brother graduated pharmacy school last week. In our culture, the older sibling’s shoulders is where all the expectations should rest. Maybe in another AU I would feel small and inferior to my younger and more successful sibling. But I don’t feel anything like that. In fact, if he can take care of my parents while I’m trying to figure out my own life, then I’m just more grateful to him. Maybe my parents don’t expect anything of me anymore, which is okay. Either way, my brother and I have each other’s backs.

Berseria I went into it with ZERO expectations because of its infamous predecessor, but I have come out pleasantly surprised. I liked it more than I thought. I’m at the end but I’m not done with the story yet.

I remember expressing my utter confusion about Zesty and everyone was like “play Berseria, it will answer a majority of your questions.” And boy, it did and I’m so glad. I loved all the throwbacks and references and lore that had to do with the previous game. Like, they really had something interesting going on here but it never quite came to fruition last time.

Is it just me, or did it take a very long time to understand all the battle mechanics? Like... I didn’t get the hang of the game until we got to Meirchio. Now I am quite good at playing Rokurou, my main. And it feels way more fun. I usually like mage characters in the old tales games but tbh I wasn’t really into it this time.

After we finish Bersy, we will be moving on to Xillia 2, our final Tales game! Gaius, I’m coming for you.

Xenoblade At the same time, I am also finishing up Xenoblade after spending nearly a year on it. I have weeks where I’m just grinding the side quests to unlock the skill trees. When I’m down, traveling and exploring in this game puts my worries to rest. Really though, the maps are so beautiful... And the music! T_T

This is one of the few games where I like every character pretty much equally, though Dundun and Riki win by just a little bit.

That’s it for now. Thanks for being here!

#diary

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cookiezxx · 4 years

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Okay so we all know about shifting so I was thinking maybe I should track my journey, cause I actually almost freaking shifted for my first try but I didn't know when I was in my dr and when I should open my eyes, but I felt all symptoms for shifting (plus I had no script at this time, now though I'm still working on it) so I would just like to track my journey, also I would love it if anyone could give me more tips!The method I used was like the rhinestone eyes method but different, I kinda made this one myself by like changing the rhinestone method a little so for comparison this is the rhinestone method:

♡︎get in any position

♡︎play rhinestone eyes

♡︎imagine your on a roller coaster and when the beat drops it starts

♡︎the roller coaster might lead you to your Dr

Mine on the other hand was like:

❤︎get in any position

❤︎clear your head of all thoughts

❤︎think of your dr and the world you want to shift to

❤︎play subliminals for shifting

❤︎ now imagine your on a roller coaster heading towards your dr and repeat affirmations like; I am shifting, I will shift, I'm going into my dr, or count from 1 to 100 (either or)

❤︎then you should wake up in your dr

But obviously I didn't get this far cause I didn't know when to open my eyes and how i would know I'm in my dr 😂, anyways I might call this method the Derpy method or roll with it method lmao 😂

Also all I see are people trying to shift to Hogwarts, am I the only one trying to shift into marvel universe? Lmao

#shifting #shifting methods #marvel #lol #fyp #tips for shifting #desired reality #this is my dream #dr #reality shifting #shifting realities #my journey #tips please #hekp #help a girl out #advengers

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ayoyoungg · 3 years

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Thoughts on TPN Season 2 finale (Ep. 11)

Warning: Mild manga spoilers ahead. Mild as in I have read the manga, but it’s been awhile since I read the manga, and I have not gone back to re-read to fact check sorry not sorry. Also, I will try to keep the spoilers to a minimum since some people may still want to read the manga (which YESSS, I definitely encourage you to :D), but some things are too big to leave out.

I specified ep. 11 because talking about the whole season would be wayyy too much. Honestly, I just wanted to come on here because this final episode was a roller coaster ride and I needed to say something. Each moment of this episode felt like 2 steps back, 1 step forward (and yes, I do mean in that order).

TW: mentions of character death/ suicide (only in the 2nd bullet point)

Let’s go:

Episode starts off with the “standoff” against Peter Ratri. I mean I’m glad that they didn’t convince Peter to leave for the human world with them. That would’ve made nooooo sense. But I couldn’t help but wonder if his flashback was really necessary. One, it was a bit frustrating to get more context about the Ratri clan’s role in the LAST EPISODE. Two, this season really did everything it could to take away from the role of William Minerva and detract from Peter Ratri, so it was kind of like why should we care now. I dunno, it just felt like the decision Peter and the Ratri clan made shouldn’t have been summed up into like 3 minutes. ON THE OTHER HAND, I see how it was “necessary” for what was to happen next.

Peter’s death was done better in the manga. I was honestly surprised the anime used the same method, since the context of the scene differs from what occurred in the manga. Also, prior to this episode, the anime had been rather tame with any gruesome scenes. Tame as in there were very few deaths and any deaths were quick, none of the main characters were killed. There was some discussion about how this season lacked the horror/thrill from season 1 and many battle scenes were also left out of the season. Therefore, people wondered just how dark this season would get, it seemed like they wanted to focus more on the kids. So even as a manga reader, I was still very shocked when Peter killed himself. Also, he did that in front of a bunch of kids, and they just continued on, like wasn’t that a scarring image???? I dunno, this is getting too long, but basically with the direction the season was going, I was shocked. Like am I dumb for thinking they would have toned it down???

Also, quick pet-peeve, personally thought it was weird for Peter to continuously refer to his brother as William Minerva. It would’ve made more sense to me if he referred to his brother as James. I’ll just assume this decision was made to show how Peter’s perception of his brother at that point was only of the illusion/character that James made (Peter had them kill William Minerva, not James Ratri)

WHY did they show the Queen and other nobles??? At this point, I got my hopes up thinking “Maybe there actually will be a 3rd season? Maybe we will still get Goldy Pond and other arcs, just in a different order?” It really felt like they were setting up for a whole new chapter (not at me getting excited)......

The BEST part of this episode was Ray’s speech to Isabella (and the other moms) and the decision for Isabella to go to the human world. Hands down best part and what should’ve happened in the manga.

Wasn’t sure whether to be in awe or upset that the gate to the human world looks like Goldy Pond. On one hand, it makes a lot of sense narratively. On the other hand, it kind of made it hurt more that we didn’t get the Goldy Pond arc. It would’ve been so much cooler after seeing the initial Goldy Pond.

SO, maybe this is from me not totally understanding what happened in the previous episodes, but I thought the Grace Field kids were split up amongst the other large farms, and then they decided to gather ALL the kids back to Grace Field -> they have all of the farm kids (even those from other farms)......Yeah, that may just be me missing something or not totally getting what’s happening. They kind of fix it by explaining how Norman also left some kids + there are the other farms like the mass production ones.

While I’m not the biggest fan of Emma/Ray/Norman + Lambda kids (minus Vincent) staying behind, I’m open to the change. HOWEVER, it bugged me that Don & Gilda didn’t also stay behind. I mean it made sense for Don & Gilda to go to the human world as the older kids BUT thematically I think it would’ve been better for Don & Gilda to stay behind as well. It’s kind of a point that Don & Gilda constantly have to make about their roles in the group, and them staying behind would have reminded me of when they led the search for Mujika (manga).

Also was a lil disappointed that Phil didn’t get to stay behind either. Just because it was so heavily alluded to that Phil was very smart & perceptive for his age + that he would have a big role. This kind of goes along with the small part of me that hoped for a season 3 with, I dunno, a smaller cast of Emma, Ray, Norma, Don, Gilda, and Phil.....was I hoping for too much

The decision to split up felt like a “more correct answer” to have the main trio go off and do stuff while everyone else stays safe. I suppose it’s easier to believe that everyone manages to survive when they’re all in the human world vs staying in a “safe shelter” in the demon world. I think this decision was also to further push the emphasis on the main trio.

Commence the slideshow....*sigh*

The montage of the kids in the human world was fine. Personally really liked seeing the kids get on a school bus (but they’re like lil geniuses so I think that’ll be interesting), Don & Phil on the subway/train, one of the moms (?) having a kid (that one really got me). But I was kinda sad to see the kids growing up, although I suppose it does make sense. A part of me wishes we got to know just how much time went by (but it’s not that major)

I don’t really get why they still showed Tifari and the Seven Walls. The promise was barely mentioned in the anime. With the direction this season went, I think they could have just had the group going around with Mujika, sharing her special blood, and then shown confrontation with the Queen & nobles. The adaptation already cut out other things, so I think it would’ve been fine to forgo showing Emma talking to Tifari. That scene also detracted from the whole journey it took to even find Tifari, so it was really a shame for it to be “included” but only be a snapshot of the moment.

For the sake of the direction of this season, they really could have just ended it with all of the humans going to the human world (while Mujika, Sonju, and the demons from that village change the demon world). This would have allowed the final escape at Grace Field to have been spread into 2 episodes rather than just 1.

Ends with a Phil & Emma hug. I mean that’s always nice. Kinda wish we got to see Phil in action and maybe doing something......I’ll stop my grumbling

jk. They totally missed the opportunity to do that anime thing where they play the opening/ending song during a moving moment. Like when the group split up, they could’ve played one of the songs while showing a montage of the kids in the human world + ending credits. And then after the song, we get the others returning + Phil & Emma hug.

TLDR: I’m fine with some changes, and could see the direction they were trying to go in, but what this season ultimately suffered from was EXECUTION. The pacing and the plot just....weren’t it chief, along with many other questionable decisions.

#long post #tpn #the promised neverland #yakusoku no neverland #tpn season 2 #jt #just thoughts #yeah and this is just a reduced rant #but majority of my thoughts while watching this episode #it was just *big sigh*#sorry if this isn't coherent | it's me matching my thoughts but also trying to figure out justification for why CW did things this way #idk what i was expecting from the final ep (aside from the kids being saved) but it wasn't this #it just felt like they suddenly remembered the other details and things that were actually important to the storyline and character #so they just stuffed everything in #i feel like since they already decided to cut so much stuff | they could've cut more things & given us a simpler but put together ending #like I'm not dismissing The Promise or Emma's want to stay behind & help the demons but it just felt like this season could've gone w/out it #I also had a point to make about Sonju but the post is already too long lmao #tpn spoilers #tpn manga spoilers

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emeraldeyes23 · 4 years

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Fictober/Fantober2020 - Day 6 - The Fair

"Do we really have to go?" "Ash, you promised me to take me to one of New York's fairs. Or at least an amusement park when there's no fair at the moment.", Eiji reminded him. "I thought you meant an art or music fair or festival of some similar kind. Or something culinary like a Street Fair.", Ash explained to him, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Not a Traveling funfair or a carnival. Isn't that for little kids? Why do you like them so much?" Eiji pouted and crossed his arms in defiance before turning away from him. "I thought you told me I could ask for anything on my birthday. And I always wanted to see a carnival with amusement rides, a roller coaster and food vending stalls. With games of chance and skill and merchandise vending stalls and thrill acts or shows of some kind. With loud music and sounds everywhere and lots of people around. We don't have things like that in Izumo. It's too small.", he explained his excitement for them to him. "Then, I guess I'll ask some kids to go with me, like Skip or Sing, since Mr. Know-it-All is too smart for that.", he replied snidely, feigning annoyance. He pretended to leave but not before grinning at him, knowing perfectly well that Ash had no other chance than to give in. He had promised to spend his birthday with him and take him anywhere he wanted, after all. To Ash, promises were important since most people in his life had never kept them and had let him down. So, he always kept his promises, especially towards Eiji. Ash sighed deeply, then shook his head in amusement before putting an arm around his shoulder. "Eiji, don't be mad, ok? I'll go with you, alright? Knowing you that well, I really should have expected that.", he smirked at him. "That you'd choose something cute like that. His features softened as he looked at him. "But this is so you. So, if you want to go, I'll take you. There's not a fair at the moment, but I know a place where you can get all those attractions you've mentioned before." Eiji's pure smile that he got in return was the best reward ever. " I promised you a perfect birthday, after all. Come on, let's go." When they arrived by subway, Eiji looked around curiously with wide eyes. "This is Coney Island?" "Yes, it's exactly what you're looking for. There are two amusement parks here..." "Yeah, because one just wouldn't cut it..." Eiji replied with a smirk but walked around with Ash anyway, taking his hand in his. Before Ash could react to that in any way, he pointed at a Ferris Wheel. "That looks great!" "I thought you'd like it. You want to go? You have an amazing view over New York from there.", he promised him. They were lucky, and the queue wasn't that long, so they quickly entered a cabin and waited for their round. "You're not afraid of heights, are you?", he teased him when Eiji tried to make out the top of the Ferris wheel from their cabin. "Ash, I was a pole-vaulter." Eiji rolled his eyes, then took out his camera to take a few photos of New York and the beach. And of Ash. "Doesn't say much. My brother wasn't afraid of heights, either, but got dizzy in a Ferris wheel." Ash smiled sadly at the memory. Eiji had apparently seen that because he changed the topic. "So, do I get a birthday wish?", he asked, moving closer and leaned his head against his. "Anything." He whispered something into his ear. "A birthday kiss, maybe?" Eiji giggled. "That's a great idea, too. But can I get a birthday photo first? Of both of us? We don't have many photos of us together." Ash would have denied that to any other person. Photos still held horrible memories for him and had been a method for control and blackmail. Yet, since he'd met Eiji, he had learned that photos could also hold precious memories you wanted to remember forever. Eiji taught him that you could freeze a perfect moment on camera and make it unforgettable and everlasting.

Eiji's innocent look on the world and finding joy in the smallest and simplest things made his photos unique and fascinating. He had learned through Eiji that a photo could be beautiful or disgusting, depending on the one looking through the camera.

"Sure."He took his phone out of his jeans' back pocket and made some selfies of them both. Eiji looked at them. They're great. Thanks, Ash."

Anything for you.", he replied, softly kissing his temple.

"So, what about that birthday kiss?", Eiji asked playfully. Ash grinned mischievously at him and pulled him closer.

They spent the rest of the day on Coney Island, walking along the beach, eating hotdogs, donuts, and ice cream. Eiji bought some souvenirs at the merchandise stalls. Ash convinced Eiji to ride the roller coaster with him. Eiji looked really pale at the end of the ride, but his eyes were sparkling, and he had that bright, innocent smile that Ash so loved.

"What's that?", Eiji asked, looking at a stall they were passing when they continued walking.

"It's a shooting range. You can shoot, and if you hit something, you win a prize.

You want to try?", he asked him.

Eiji did so, but, as expected, he didn't hit anything. Eiji wasn't sad, just shrugging at him. Still, Ash noticed how he kept staring at the stall. Ash smiled at him before grabbing the rifle.

"Which one do you want to have?", he asked, grinning.

Eiji looked at him in surprise. "It's okay; you don't have to - ", he began, immediately playing it down.

"Which one is it, Eiji?", Ash repeated, winking at him. "I'll get it for you."

The vendor looked at him, sneering. "You think you can do it? You seem pretty confident. It's not that easy, you know?"

"I can do it.", Ash simply said, handing over the money. "Give me one bullet.", he asked him, a self-satisfied grin on his face.

"Only one?"

"One is enough for me.", Ash said, smiling knowingly at Eiji.

"That cat over there.", Eiji said, grinning back at him.

Ash gave him a mock salute, then put the bullet into the rifle, calmly positioned it, and fired. Bang. The bullet hit the target perfectly—Bull's Eye.

"Piece of cake.", Ash muttered while a stunned vendor handed over the cat, speechless for once.

"Wow, where did you learn to shoot like that?", the vendor wanted to know, Ash's skills had certainly aroused his curiosity.

"On the battlefield.", Ash said mysteriously before taking the little honey brown cat and giving it to Eiji. He showed it to Ash. "It looks a bit like you. Cute but dangerous." Ash gave him a dirty look, but he couldn't hide his amusement.

"Anywhere else you wanna go?", he asked while putting an arm around his waist.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, Ash. I had a great day with you. It was fun."

"Maybe we can sit at the beach for a while? It's nearly sunset. I'll buy some drinks."

When they had watched the sunset, Ash rummaged for something in his bag.

"Here, I wanted to give you this. He handed him a roll of paper. A little bracelet held it. Eiji took it off. It was a bracelet made out of brown leather and a little golden heart as a pendant.

"Thank you, Ash, this is beautiful." Eiji's eyes sparkled with joy as he kissed him on the cheek. Then he put it around his wrist.

"It matches your eyes.", Ash said, smiling softly at him.

"Open the roll of parchment."

Eiji did so. On the solid-looking paper was a drawing in colored pencils of the two of them, arm in arm, standing on a beach like this one.

"That's amazing, Ash. Have you drawn that?", Eiji asked him in amazement.

"Yes. I thought you'd appreciate something personal like that much more.", Ash replied, feeling how his cheeks heated up as he looked at him to see his reaction.

"That's incredible, Ash." Eiji hugged him, then wiped a tear away that had run down his cheek.

"It's not just a birthday gift. It's a thank you. For staying by my side. For just being you. For showing me that life is beautiful."

Now a tear has escaped Ash's eye as well as he leaned his head against Eiji's.

Under the drawing, Ash had only written one word.

Forever.

#banana fish #ash lynx #eiji okumura #anime #manga #banana fish anime #fictober20 #fictober2020 #fantober2020 #fantober20 #ash x eiji #fair #Farris wheel #coney island

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celosiaa · 4 years

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Submission by @entitynumber5: Hi Connor, I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL birthday and that you get to take a break from studying to do the things you enjoy and just have the lovely day you deserve!!! For this morning’s “write what I like” sprint (trying a new method of getting it all out before I have to put the brain into study mode), I wrote a lil something about 🎃 spooky season birthdays 🎃set in the Emmaverse… which turned out kind of long and a bit sappy. So there is no pressure to read it! I just love these characters :’) the working title is “Martin and Jon get proven wrong by an adorable five year old”.

Content warnings: brief mentions of blood, alcohol and minor injury (in relation to Martin working a Halloween paramedic shift); food.

Emma is obsessed with birthdays. Just not her own.

She turned five in May, and no matter how special they tried to make the day—with rainbow layer cake and carefully-selected presents and a visit to the roller-skating rink with her best friends—she didn’t seem half as excited as when it was someone else’s birthday. She would hardly sleep the night before friends’ parties. She spent hours wrapping the presents she picked for them with ribbons and bows and even confetti stuffed inside the paper. The only time they could encourage her to practice the piano for her weekly lessons was when she played the Happy Birthday song over FaceTime for her friends’ birthdays that were during school holidays.

The only thing Emma seems to have held onto from her own birthday is the notebook given to her Georgie and Melanie. Martin seems to remember there being two: one with little cartoon ghost drawn in the front by Georgie and the other with a scribble of the Admiral by Melanie. But Emma only carries the one around with her everywhere, and Martin is starting to doubt his own memory about there being a duplicate.

She has it with her now, as they sit outside the lecture theatre where Jon is currently teaching. In the too-big chair beside the door, her legs swing as she holds the notebook very close, staring intently at its pages while she wriggles her fluffy purple pen in thought.

“Daddy,” Emma says, in that voice that means she has a Very Serious Question, “When is your birthday?”

Martin is still a little dazed from nearly a week of night shifts. It’s the first time in six days that he hasn’t been working or sleeping at this time in the afternoon, and while walking with Emma to Jon’s work to surprise him at the end of the day seemed like a nice idea in practice, he really wishes he was lying on the sofa. They could be watching Peppa Pig for the thousandth time. Or getting started on dinner, which he isn’t going to let Jon make after a long day of teaching. He’s been mentally calculating how many hours it is until he can go to bed, how many tasks he has to do before then.

This feels like a selfish thought, though, and he pushes it aside quickly in favour of smiling at Emma. “My birthday?”

“Yes,” Emma replies, still very grave, “That’s what I said. At school today, Miss Jones made us all put stickers on the big calendar on the wall for our birthdays. I wrote down all of my friends’ birthdays.”

“That’s nice.”

“And now I want to write down yours.”

“Okay, well, my birthday is next month.”

Emma frowns. “Next month. That’s…” she counts on her fingers until she seems to reach the answer she’s looking for. “October?”

“It is!” Martin grins. “Well done.”

Emma’s little frown doesn’t ease. “What day?”

“Well, do you know how many days are in October?”

Emma thinks. Shakes her head.

“There are thirty-one days in October,” Martin tells Emma, “And my birthday is on the very last day.”

Emma nods and returns to her notebook, slowly enunciating the words as she writes them down: “Oc-to-ber three-one.”

Martin wonders if Emma realises his birthday coincides with Halloween. Besides birthdays, she still doesn’t seem too interested in dates, no matter how many times her teacher makes her write them at the top of every page in her workbook. And during previous years, they celebrated Martin’s birthday the day before or after Halloween itself, so they can separate the two events, although perhaps she doesn’t remember.

Before Martin can ask, the door of the lecture theatre opens and students start filing out. Emma puts away her notebook and pen, her frown of concentration replaced by a glowing smile as she waits, bouncing excitedly in the chair, for her Baba to notice them waiting just outside.

“Jon,” Martin whisper-shouts as he tiptoes into the house after his shift, hoping he doesn’t wake Emma—but that his husband knows it’s urgent. “Jon, Jon, Jon.”

Jon emerges from the kitchen, wearing a pair of yellow washing up gloves dripping soap suds and a look of alarm. “What’s wrong?”

Martin ushers him back into the kitchen and shuts the door as quietly as possible, hoping it won’t wake Emma—or, worse yet, the cats, who will sit outside any closed door and cry to be let inside no matter what activity they were engaged in before.

“Martin,” Jon says, “What’s going on?”

“They just released the shifts for the next few weeks,” Martin replies, “And I’m working.”

“Well, good. I should hope so.”

“On my birthday.”

Jon’s expression merges into one of comprehension: Emma. And her newfound obsession with birthdays. “Ah.”

“Yep.”

“I don’t suppose you could swap shifts with someone?” Jon asks.

Martin sits down at the table, lowering his head into his hands. He wants to shower, change out of his paramedic uniform, but he knows he won’t be able to focus on anything else until they’ve had this conversation. “No one’s going to willingly take a Halloween shift. For a start, Andrew is terrified of clowns. And people are usually drunk, and it’s actually really hard to tell the difference between real and fake blood.”

“We could celebrate the day after,” Jon says, taking off the washing up gloves and sitting opposite Martin. He reaches across the table to take Martin’s hand. “I mean, you were born five minutes before midnight. It wouldn’t be a lie so much as a… slight shifting of the truth.”

“Jonathan Sims.” Martin gapes across the table at him. “Are you suggesting we lie to our daughter?”

“No!”

“Yes.”

“No, Martin,” Jon says again, “I’m simply suggesting we separate your birthday from Halloween, as we have done every year, and not draw attention to the fact because our daughter is currently obsessed with other peoples’ birthdays.”

“And it might upset her if she knew we were actually celebrating on the wrong day.”

“Exactly.”

Martin sighs. “I don’t know. It feels… sort of wrong.”

“Apparently, children under the age of seven have no concept of the passing of time and—”

“Did Tim tell you that?”

“No.”

“Oh, god. It wasn’t Helen, was it? Please tell me you haven’t been having philosophical discussions about parenting with Helen again.”

“Martin,” Jon interrupts, “It was in the parenting book you gave me.”

“Huh. I don’t remember that chapter. Oh, god, maybe I should re-read it. The whole thing. Beginning to end. I—”

“Martin.” Jon squeezes his hand. “You deserve a day of your own. Tim and Sasha already agreed to take Emma trick-or-treating on Halloween. She will be focused on that for most of the day; she’s already talking about how excited she is. Let us spend the day after that treating you to all the wonderful things you deserve on your birthday—and every day.”

Martin manages a small smile, although every instinct inside of him is telling him not to accept Jon’s proposal. Not because he is worried about the ethics of manipulating their daughter’s concept of time—although this is a concern, too—but because he doesn’t want Jon to feel like he has to do any of this. To make a whole day about him, even if he takes great pleasure and care in doing the same for Jon on his birthday.

“Thanks, Jon,” Martin murmurs.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Now, why don’t you go and have a warm shower? I’ve put the hot water on so it shouldn’t run out while you’re in there this time.”

Martin smirks. “Are you saying I smell?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” Martin presses, teasing now. “Because I did have to treat a farmer who’d been kicked by one of his cows this evening.”

“Okay, alright, yes. Yes, you smell. Please go and have a shower.”

Martin laughs and gets up from the table. “I’m going, I’m going.”

“That really is disgusting, Martin.”

“It’s actually a pretty funny story. About the farmer, I mean. He’s fine, by the way. I’ll tell you about it when I’m out of the shower.”

Jon shakes his head. “Why today, of all days, have you abandoned the notion of showering before you sit down at the dinner table?”

“I had something important to tell you!”

“Fine. Alright.” Jon shakes his head again. “Now please have a shower. For your sake as much as mine.”

“Love you,” Martin sing-songs as he exits the kitchen. He hears Jon’s gentle laugh chase him into the warmth of the bathroom, where Jon has put on the radiator and left him a fresh towel. He smiles, feeling his love for Jon balloon in his chest, and settles into the sensation being home.

Martin’s Halloween—and birthday—shift is so busy that he barely has time to check his phone. Tim has sent an album of photos of him, Sasha and Emma out trick-or-treating, dressed as Mike, Sulley and Boo from Monsters, Inc. Jon has been updating him on the number of trick-or-treaters who have visited their house (fifty-four, as of ten thirty p.m.), and how Iris and the cats are holding up with the constant ringing of the doorbell.

On his break, Martin quickly texts Tim to watch his glucose levels and not to forget his insulin (to which Tim replies yes, sir with a number of yellow heart emojis). He also texts Sasha to say she can take home any of the Skittles they get on their expedition, since they’re her favourite but Emma hates them. He tells Jon he loves him and to give Iris a pet on his behalf and that there’s some spare sweets under the sink, if they’re running low. Then it’s back to work.

The shift passes quickly, in the end. There is so much to do and no time to think about anything other than their patients. He does get given a toffee apple by someone dressed as a Minion at a student house party, and he narrowly avoids getting his face painted by twins who are the same age as Emma while his team are checking their mother’s twisted ankle after a fall trying to get to the door in time for a last-minute delivery of sweets. It’s not an awful shift, but it is, like always, exhausting and difficult in the same measure as it’s rewarding and hopeful.

By the time he gets home, all he wants to do is sleep. Emma is tucked into bed, fast asleep, while her nightlight projects solar systems onto the ceiling. Jon, too, is sleeping soundly with the cats for company. Iris barely looks up from her bed when he comes inside, but she gives a little wag of her tail each time he passes down the hallway to shower or get a drink of water. There’s a plastic pumpkin full of Emma’s sweets on the table, next to the empty bowl that had once been full of treats to hand out to their visitors.

Martin’s smiles—it looks like a night well-spent for his family—and this thought carries him through an exhausted shower before he crawls into bed next to Jon. Jon must be tired, too, because he doesn’t stir. Martin makes a mental note to check his joints aren’t playing up from all the getting up and down from the sofa during the trick-or-treat visits.

Sometime later, Martin wakes to the soft click of the door as it opens. He squints against the light bursting around the edges of the still-shut curtains, expecting to see Jon tiptoeing to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Instead, Emma is creeping inside, holding a tray of pancakes while Jon follows behind, balancing two cups of tea.

“Happy birthday!” Emma says, as she places the tray down on the bed next to Martin. “We made spooky pancakes!”

Martin rubs the sleep from his eyes and sits up fully. He glances at the alarm clock next to the bed: 11:42 a.m. He’s been asleep for just over six hours, but it somehow feels longer and yet not enough. “It’s not—”

Jon clears his throat.

“Oh. Oh, thank you, Emma! These are wonderful.”

The pancakes are, indeed, spooky. Emma has used a pumpkin cookie cutter to shape them and then drawn on funny faces with fruit and syrup. No longer responsible for balancing the tray, Emma looks at Jon, a little uncertain, and Jon nods in encouragement as he places their cups of tea down on the bedside table.

“I made you a present,” Emma says almost shyly.

Martin smiles gently at her. “That’s very kind of you. Thank you, Emma.”

Emma pulls something off the tray. It’s the second notebook, the one Martin thought he’d imagined, wrapped in a glittery silver ribbon and some confetti streamers. She offers it to Martin, and he takes it carefully, holding it as if it might fall apart in his hands.

“You can open it,” Emma tells him seriously.

Martin unwraps the ribbon. Emma takes it from him, along with the confetti, perhaps to reuse for another present. Slowly, Martin cracks open the notebook to the first page. There is Georgie’s ghoulish sketch, alongside a new inscription in Emma’s handwriting: Sorted Poems By Emma K. Blackwood-Sims. For Daddy’s Birthday. October 31.

Martin feels something tender and soft unfurl in his chest, until he’s certain he is going to cry. He begins to flick through the pages, but Emma says: “Wait!”

Martin stops. “What is it?”

“Look.” Emma climbs on to the bed, elbowing her way into the space next to him, and reaches across Martin to open the notebook on the first page again, where her inscription is. She points at her name.

“It’s meant to say assorted poems,” Jon says, “But neither of us were sure how to spell it.”

Martin laughs, the sound a little wet and shaky with the tears he can feel building. Jon hates spelling. It’s his least favourite type of homework to help Emma with.

“Look,” Emma says again, “I wrote my name like yours!”

Martin smiles. “Blackwood-Sims? But that’s your name, too.”

“No,” Emma insists, “Emma K Blackwood-Sims. Like you! Like a proper poet.”

“Oh,” Martin murmurs, “Oh.”

He’s sure he and Jon will laugh about this later. Martin doesn’t actually have a middle name. Emma does, but it certainly doesn’t begin with K. But right now, he feels tears on his cheeks as he takes in his daughter’s hard work.

Emma reaches for his face, patting away his tears with the palms of her hands. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I promise,” Martin replies, sniffling in an attempt to draw back the tears, “I’m happy. And I love you so, so much.”

Emma frowns. “Will pancakes make you feel better?”

“I’m alright, Emma. I promise. These are happy tears.”

“Pancakes always make me feel better,” Jon announces, climbing onto the other side of the bed and sliding back underneath the covers. He settles Emma down in the middle of them, handing her a mug full of juice. She doesn’t drink tea yet, but she doesn’t like to be left out when they do, so she has her own mug.

“These look wonderful,” Martin tells them, arranging the tray so they can all reach. Emma takes a plate and hands it to Jon, then does the same for Martin, before grabbing the final one for herself. “You’re getting very good at pancakes.”

“Baba said we can learn French toast next,” Emma says.

“Wow. That’s big.”

Emma nods. “It’s more difficult than normal toast.”

Martin chuckles. “It certainly is.”

They distribute the pumpkin-shaped pancakes between them. While they eat in bed, they tell each other stories about their Halloween night. Jon talks about the costumes of the people who visited their house, how many compliments they got on their pumpkin carving skills. Emma narrates her trick-or-treating adventure with Tim and Sasha. Martin shares the safest tales of his nightshift, the funny costumes he saw and the extravagant decorations at the parties they visited.

Martin is exhausted again by the time they’ve finished the pancakes. Jon insists on taking their empty plates back to the kitchen and making them another cup of tea, while Emma snuggles against Martin’s side. She rests her head on his shoulder.

“I know it’s not your birthday, Daddy,” Emma whispers.

Half-asleep until now, Martin grunts himself awake. “What was that, sweetheart?”

“I know it’s not really your birthday,” Emma tells him, not moving from where she’s clinging to his arm, “Your birthday was yesterday. On Halloween.”

“Oh, Emma, we—”

“It’s okay,” Emma says, “It’s like when we had a party on Saturday even though my birthday was on Wednesday because I had school.”

“Yeah.” Martin stokes his hand through Emma’s hair. “It is a bit like that.”

“I still get to say happy birthday.”

“You do.”

“But can we have a party on the right day next year?” Emma asks.

“For your birthday?”

“No, for your birthday.”

“Oh.” Martin laughs. “Yes. It might not be a party, if I have to work again, but we can do this. This is lovely. Thank you for being so thoughtful. And I’m excited to read your poems.”

“Baba said they were good.”

“Well, that’s high praise indeed.”

“It was fun.”

“That’s good. That’s what matters most when you make things.“

Emma wriggles around until she’s grinning up at him. “Can I read your poems now?”

Martin sighs, barely supressing a laugh. This isn’t the first time she’s asked. “Emma.”

She sticks her bottom lip out, pouting in a way that breaks Martin’s heart to the point where he can never turn her down when she’s looking at him like this. “Please.”

“Alright,” Martin gives in, “I’ll read you one tonight. Before bed.”

“Yay!” Emma’s grin grows even wider. "Thank you, Daddy.”

“Thank you. And I love you very, very much.”

“Love you, too.”

They settle back down. Martin dozes a little again, a smile on his face, as he thinks about telling Jon later that their daughter very much does understand the concept of time. There really are some things parenting books don’t prepare you for—like the way his love seems to grow with each day he gets with Emma and Jon, even when he thinks it’s impossible, that he already loves them more than any person can.

Some things are gifts even when they are not given as such, and Martin is beginning to allow himself to think of his life with his daughter and his husband as one. He didn’t ask for it with words or lists. He doesn’t know, even now, if he deserves it. But it’s his. And he will treasure it always.

Not featured: Martin realising what he’s agreed to and frantically trying to find a non-angsty poem he can read to his five-year-old daughter. Jon thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma fic #jonmartin #emma #SDSFLSKFLKJFA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #HANNAH HANNAH I LOVE THIS SOOOO MUCH #I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WROTE THIS OH MY GOD #this is so incredibly special to me I don't even know how to express it #oh my god this is so sweet and I loved every second of it #oh my friend #thank you so much #i love the way you write martin as ALWAYS #and Emma is so sweet here oh my goodness!!!!!#she takes after her dad by caring about other people's birthdays like that #i loved the way you talked about how exhausted he feels after working night shifts #and the lovely little moment where they're talking quietly in the kitchen #martin's musings about not deserving this #and feeling selfish for being so tired on jon's birthday #oh my god i can'ttttttt #i love this so much i'm gonna read it 8000 times #hannah you are fantastically talented #and such an incredibly kind soul #i truly wish we were not an ocean apart!!!#thank you for all the wonderful joy and kindness you bring to the world #you are so very loved #THANK YOU!!!!!!#<3 <3 <3 #submission

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