#if all goes well this'll have four parts

[toxicanonymity]

Pre-tlou Joel being part of a raiding group, coming across reader, and Joel claiming her for himself. Possessive non con 🥵

Raider (Original)

800 words, dark!Joel Miller x f!Reader

RAIDER MASTER LIST | joel master

WARNINGS - NSFW I8+ Noncon (via implicit threat) unsafe PIV, pet names and praise, oral m, dark, posessive. Joel can pick reader up. Obviously do not condone these things irl.

"Drop her," he booms at the men who are dragging you kicking and screaming as they bicker about who goes first. "Now."

"Relax Miller, there's plenty to go around," one of the guys says and beckons him to join. "Ain't that right, sweetie?" The man adds, lifting your chin with the butt of his rifle.

Miller raises his gun. "I said drop her." They don't. Miller fires a warning shot and they finally do. "Tired of you rookies," Miller says. "Show some respect."

"Yes sir." The men compose themselves and disperse.

Relief washes over you. He's saving you. You're going to get out of this unscathed. You stand up and begin to hobble away, sore from being smacked around.

Miller trains his gun on you. "Don't you fuckin' dare."

You raise your hands in surrender.

"Good girl, now c'mere."

You hesitantly approach him and he throws you over his shoulder. He carries you back inside, into a bedroom, and throws you down on an old mattress. Another man approaches and stands in the doorway. He tells Miller "Oooh, nice find." The man starts unbuckling his own belt.

"Did I say I was sharin'? Go do your goddamn job." He aims his gun at the man. The man gulps, buckles his belt, and scurries away. Joel closes the door behind him and locks it.

-

"Alright now, sweet pea." Miller unbuckles his belt. The blood drains from your face.

"Be a good girl and this'll be over quick, okay?"

You nod. At least there's only one of him.

He palms himself over his tactical pants then takes out his raging erection. It's imposing. You're afraid.

His boots thud as he approaches the mattress. He looms over you. "Now, you're gonna suck this cock and you're gonna like it, understand?" He strokes himself and his brow furrows as he looks at you.

You nod.

"Cause you don't want me passin' you to those guys, trust me."

You nod as tears prickle your eyes. You get up on your knees and take him into your mouth - not all of him, it's impossible, but you try. He puts his hands on the back of your head and fucks your face.

This can’t be over soon enough, but you also can’t deny a feeling growing between your legs. Having his cock in your mouth makes you tingle. It’s so hard, and his precum tastes nice and salty.

“Look at me,” he demands. You don’t want to look him in the eye, so you focus on his messy brown hair. It’s nice.

“Doin' great, sweet pea. Now do me a favor and pull down your pants.”

You take him out of your mouth and wipe the slobber off your lips. He half-smiles with a twinkle in his eye and strokes himself as you pull down your pants.

“Where do you want it, sweet pea?” He squats down and fingers you. Your cheeks burn when he smiles at your wetness. “This one?” he asks and enters you with two fingers.

You nod. It’s preferable to the alternative.

“Alright, you want it like this or you wanna turn around?”

You still don’t want to look him in the eye, so you turn around on all fours. He yanks your pants off to make room for himself between your legs.

“Good girl,” he says. He kneels behind you, then you feel the smooth head of his cock at your entrance. He plunges into you about half way with a grunt, pulls back a little, then plunges forward again, bottoming out with a throaty sigh. Your eyes well up in tears, but your body welcomes the intrusion.

“Damn, you’re tight,” he says as he fucks you, hands on your hips, pulling you back with each thrust. “Good thing I kept ya all for myself. They would’ve ruined this pretty little hole.” The tip of his cock pushes a special button inside you with each thrust, and you begin to unravel.

He’s quiet for a minute, save for his grunts. His grunts turn into moans, then you feel him twitch inside you.

He pulses violently, his large hands jerking you back into him as he pumps you full of hot cum. His pulsations send you and you groan as your own climax is pulled from your depths, contracting on his cock.

“Well damn,” he says when you’re both finished. “It’s a good day for both of us.”

He pulls out and you collapse onto the mattress. He comes around and looks you in the face and you look up at him with watery eyes. He cups your cheek affectionately and reassures you he’ll guard the room for you until everyone’s loading up to leave.

-

6 month note: Thank you so much for reading! I know this is old by now, but I still really appreciate your reblogs and comments. 🥹🖤 when I start to recognize raider superfans I try to follow.

You can follow @toxicfics and subscribe to notifications.

[stargazeraldroth]

I will never be normal about the family of the First Humans in my Hazbin Hotel AU. I will never be normal about it. I really took this AU and said "Family angst to the MAX". Also this may or may not contain spoilers about Hazbin Hotel, so be warned about that when reading this.

Since we don't know much of anything about Eve in Hazbin Hotel's canon universe, the Eve included in this post is obviously how I imagine her character. Also, there are some major changes to the relationships between some of the characters. For starters, Vaggie and Lute are sisters, but they're also direct creations of Adam's.

Let me explain.

So in this AU, Adam and Eve became a thing shortly after Lilith ran away to be with Lucifer. And in this AU, they were only able to have Cain and Abel before Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit and ultimately died (I might elaborate on the whole Garden of Eden story in another post). But they'd talked about having daughters and Eve was especially excited to have little girls. Clearly, that never ended up happening. So how does this tie into the story? Because Adam made Vaggie and Lute with the idea of them being the daughters he and Eve were never able to have.

(To take this a step further, this AU started as a Reimagine series where I went over how I would've done it all, so there were also name changes. Vaggie and Lute were two characters who got their names changed; Vaggie's name became Evelyn [originally Evangeline but I thought that too long and didn't roll off the tongue as well] and Lute's became Edith, with Vaggie being named after Eve and Lute being named after the Garden of Eden. And if you want even MORE angst with that idea, Adam sometimes called Vaggie "Eve" as a nickname because of how much she reminded him of her. There's nothing romantic there, I just wanna clarify that in case anyone jumps to conclusions. The changed names aren't important to the post, I just wanted to mention this little background fun fact from before I decided to make it a regular AU)

I may not have diddly squat about Cain and Abel in this aside from the fact that they exist(ed), but BOY do I have a lot to say about these four. First, let me just start with the parallels between Eve and Vaggie in this AU:

Both someone Adam swore to himself that he'd protect at all costs

Both fell from grace and are in Hell

Both of them are on the opposing side (for Eve this'll rely on the post I eventually make about the GoE story, but the gist is that she was completely unwilling; Vaggie saw no other way)

Both of them fell in love with demons

Like... Vaggie reminds Adam of Eve so much that sometimes, it physically hurts. In this AU, Vaggie wasn't left to die in Hell, she got attacked and left behind. Adam thought she was dead, which was part of why he pushed to move up the date of the next Extermination and why Lute is so set on revenge, wants to kill ALL demons, etc. And Adam doesn't care about sexuality- he doesn't care if Vaggie's bi, pan, lesbian, ace, etc. In this AU, he only cares because Charlie's a demon (and the daughter of Lucifer, but that's another thing). The way Adam sees it, he's been losing everyone he loves to temptation and sin. He believes he lost Lilith to Lucifer's seduction (even if he was an angel at the time, he eventually became a demon), he lost Eve to both Lilith & Lucifer and the Apple, he lost Abel to Cain's jealousy and wrath, he lost Cain to his inner darkness, he originally thought he lost Vaggie to the demons, and then he thought he lost her to seduction (even though Charlie didn't do anything like that). And this- this is why Adam's both so close to Lute and why he smiles when he dies in this AU. He died believing that he failed everyone he cared about except Lute, even though- in the back of his mind- he told himself he still failed her. Because he wasn't going to be able to make it back to Heaven and stay with her.

Y'all. I don't know WHAT made me decide to focus so much on these four... but this is what I got. This is what happened. They're devouring my brain.

[hearttohaato]

Encanto OC Event Week 2

Part 1: Tomás Herrera & The Madrigals

For this week about OC relationships, this'll be a perfect opportunity for me to introduce a couple background OCs that I wasn't able to last week. In order to prevent an insane amount of clogging I've decided to split the info into multiple posts, starting with the Madrigals' relationship with my favorite Just Some Guy: Tomás Herrera!

Tomás, like many other villagers within the Encanto, has lived his life understanding that the Madrigals were special people with incredible abilities. He's grown up respecting them as such, but eventually he'll come to find himself being taken in as one of their own and adopting their name - and their legacy. But though Tomás is happy to marry the love of his life and join her family, doing so comes with some difficulty adjusting to the new environment: he's gone from a household of four, to three, to two, to over a dozen. Everything gets so busy and bustling so quickly, and initially it's a little hard to keep up; for the first few years under Casita's roof, Tomás feels decidedly "un-ceptional" and like an outsider who is a Madrigal in name only. But as years go by and he gets more comfortable with all the new activity, responsibilities, and magic, he'll come to accept himself as being where he belongs just as the rest of the family already has.

In regards to Camilo Madrigal:

Tomás and three of his good friends (Santiago Torres, Cristián Vargas, and Rafael Molina) bond with Camilo as they and the rest of the town help to rebuild Casita after the events of the movie. Camilo had his own friends his age, of course, but there was something special to him about being taken in by a patch of older boys and being considered one of their own. He's simply Little Brother Shaped!

Though all four of them have their own dynamics with Camilo, Tomás and Camilo grow very close despite their seemingly conflicting personalities. Camilo aims to help Tomás loosen up and come out of his shell in ways he likely wouldn't attempt to do on his own, and in return Tomás offers Camilo stable and level-headed advice that is a welcome change in perspective from the kind he gets at home.

Of course they can get on each other's nerves, namely when Tomás won't budge or when Camilo's joking goes too far. But all in all they're a bulletproof duo, where Camilo gets the older brother he never had and Tomás gets to be the older brother he should have had.

Art by LintuShadow.Art (left)

In regards to Luisa Madrigal:

The experiences Tomás had growing up alongside Luisa Madrigal weren't unique nor exclusive only to him. He's hardly the first or only villager she's extended her hands to over the years - but from mundane favors to quite literally saving his life, everything Luisa has ever done for Tomás has meant the world to him, even if to her they were simply her duties as a Madrigal.

But despite what he may have believed, Tomás hadn't been completely invisible to Luisa. She knew him well enough as someone she grew up and went to school with, and though she was indeed doing what she needed to, she never really forgot any time she helped him (or anyone else). If anything, he was a friend to her!

What really sealed Tomás's fate was a moment he witnessed something he wasn't meant to, one that helped him recognize that someone as unremarkable as him and someone as special as her actually could have something in common: the mindset that one's own feelings could be ignored when there were more important things to worry about. From there admiration blossomed ruthlessly into a hopeless crush, and though it took him a while to be able to pull it off, he relayed his feelings to her through a simple gift: a hand carved wooden dove for her 20th birthday.

As a couple they compliment each other nicely, though in a different way than Tomás's friendship with Camilo. They are each other's pillar; his emotional stability allows him to support her in her time of need, whereas he feels safe and at ease when she's around. Luisa can very well take care of herself, this she and everyone else knows... but sometimes it's nice to sit back and let herself be treated like a princess, something Tomás is always more than happy to oblige. There's little room for arguments or disagreements between them, provided they don't try to out-martyr each other - sometimes it is necessary for one to wring true feelings and thoughts out of the other like they're pulling teeth. But they can't hide from each other, and over time it becomes much easier for them to be open and accept that maybe their feelings do matter when someone is willing to listen.

He is her osito. She is his paloma. he's so in love with her it makes him look stupid

Art by mushroomflood (left)

In regards to the other Madrigals:

Bulletpoints to make things go a little more quickly--

Julieta, as his future mother-in-law, is the closest thing Tomás has had to a mom since his own's passing. He's bashful around her for a while, even moreso when he gets the greenlight to start calling her Ma. He comes to enjoy helping her in the kitchen periodically, as he already has cooking experience from living with his father.

He wants to make a good impression on Agustín very much, despite how remarkably easy it is to get on the man's good side - all Tomás really had to do was promise to take care of his daughter and Agustín was sold. Tomás would like Agustín to teach him how to play piano but he doesn't know how to ask.

Mirabel, by virtue of hanging out with Camilo a lot, ends up getting close to Tomás as well. Tomás doesn't know how he ended up with not one but two teenage ducklings following him around but he's not mad about it. When Tomás and Luisa become engaged, Mirabel gifts him with an embroidered vest that he wears all the way up until the wedding.

The only problem Tomás has in regards to Antonio is that he's terrified of wild animals. Antonio himself is a perfectly sweet kid and Tomás is kind to him when he wants to socialize, but he'll be a little on edge if Parce decides to tag along. It likely takes years for him to get used to having the denizens of the jungle waltzing around the house, but he comes to trust Antonio to keep a handle on them.

Alma intimidates the hell out of him, especially since he's in a very Agustín-like position of probably not being her first choice to wed one of her grandchildren. But he'll prove himself to her in how devoted he is not only to Luisa but to Camilo as well, and eventually earn her blessing (to which he's both grateful and relieved).

Similarly, Isabela is a little tough on him at first and is the one to give him the third degree when she finds out he's involved with her baby sister. She recognizes he's kind of a marshmallow soon enough though and eases up on him after that. There's a cordial mutual fascination between the two and their skillsets, given Isa's ability to conjure trees and Tomás's ability to turn those trees into something new.

Tomás and Dolores are shaking hands over being exasperated by their goofy little brother Camilo, but beyond that their lowkey personalities mesh quite well. Oddly enough, between Dolores's Gift and Tomás's natural observational skills, the two tend to have enough information between them to quietly discuss goings-on around town.

Pepa and Félix are a little more removed from Tomás due to him being a cool color family addition, but as housemates there's still interactions to be had. Félix's extroversion brings a lot of energy Tomás doesn't always know what to do with and Pepa's storms take some time to adjust to, but all three of them readily agree on how much they care about Camilo and that's all that's really needed to keep the harmony.

Bruno keeps to himself more often than not and Tomás wholeheartedly understands. That said, once Tomás gets a good read on how Bruno operates and how best to approach him, they're able to have a rather polite rapport. The rats skeeve Tomás out a little but they're no big deal compared to things like jaguars and anacondas, thus Tomás can be convinced (by Mirabel and/or Camilo) to offer his talents and build little sets for Bruno's telenovelas.

Mariano is in the same boat as being a mundane marrying into a very non-mundane family, and with the added history of being casual friends beforehand Tomás ends up gravitating towards him as they adjust to their new lives as Madrigals. They, along with Camilo, end up becoming more or less the second generation parallels to the Madriguys that came before them - Tomás's Agustín to Mariano's Félix to Camilo's Bruno.

Art by cringecanto

Part 2 will be coming shortly! Then, as I'm fairly certain it's already technically Week 3, the post for that week's prompt will follow sometime soon after.

@encanto-extended-edition

[fodlaneverafter]

FEA character mini-analyses: black eagles as rebels

Today I feel like explaining why I cast characters the way I did in FEA (my ongoing 3H/EAH crossover fic)! If all goes well this'll be a four-part series--one each for the three houses and one last post for the house lords + Rhea. (I'm sorry Ashen Wolves fans... I'll talk about Yuri in the last post, but I don't think there's much I can say for the rest of his house.)

Now without further ado, let us begin!

Hubert as Faybelle Thorn: let's raise a cheer for everyone's favorite dark fairy!! (please don't this is cursed enough. haha get it? cursed, because he's--) As we all know the most important thing about Hubert von Vestra is his impeccable sense of style, and Faybelle's aesthetic is the only one that comes close. The only major difference between these two characters is that Faybelle is spiteful, while Hubert is simply ruthless. And I think it's enough to make him a Rebel, as the Dark Fairy's actions are nothing but petty. With his father's role being stolen by the Evil Queen, I thought this would add an interesting dimension to his loyalty to Edelgard (whereas Faybelle hates Raven for it). Also, Faybelle's pet is canonically a pomeranian puppy named Spindle, and I wanted to give Hubie a pomeranian puppy named Spindle.

Ferdinand as C.A. Cupid: I needed something to replace nobility as the virtue around which he centers his life, so naturally I decided on the most entertaining alternative--love. In this AU, destiny-bound "true love" serves as a good enough parallel to the corruption of Fódlan nobility. So while he may have some disagreements with Edelgard, he can't argue with her understanding of destiny. Giving him big ol' wings makes him even more annoying to her, which is exactly what I want. ... Okay, yes, I did make him Cupid just because it was the only way I could include "Ferdinand von Aegir Cupid" in this AU.

Bernadetta as Cerise Hood: yes, it does hurt me that Bernadetta's color palette clashes horribly with the RRH aesthetic, but what can a girl do they're the perfect match! Of course Bernie would be shy and reclusive if her father was the freaking Big Bad Wolf. And who wouldn't be anxious having to hide a secret like that in the woods, constantly surrounded by the vicious Wolf people? Of course I couldn't make her as extremely nervous as she was in 3H, but uh. I don't think anyone minds. (We are kicking Count Varley out of the picture by the way please forget he ever existed.)

Petra as Cedar Wood: the only princess besides Edelgard in 3H may be a mere commoner in this retelling, but real queens need no crowns. Cedar's desire to understand humans is the closest in-universe to Petra's desire to understand Fódlan (even if they're for different reasons). Furthermore, I find Petra's honesty works well with Cedar's curse--they're both so endearing for it.

Dorothea as Meeshell Mermaid: we shall forever mourn the lost potential of Meeshell, but Dorothea is a whole other story. Voice of an angel, check. Renowned beauty, check. Most importantly, her longing to be truly seen and loved, check. Let's not forget the Little Mermaid was treated as little more than a pretty plaything in the prince's court, never truly seen by the man she loved. Canon Dorothea fears exactly that. Her being a Rebel is just too perfect.

Linhardt as Briar Beauty: I don't think I need to explain myself here? But... the tricky part about him is that Linhardt would never in a million years be unsatisfied with his destiny. I had to lure him to the dark side with lots of enticing research opportunities on the true nature of destiny-bound curses and succession laws, because of what happened with his mom's story (Evil Queen stealing Dark Fairy's role and all). Anyway, I love imagining him with green crownglasses and the fact that his personality is the polar opposite of Briar's will never not be hilarious.

Caspar as... the son of the White Queen??: yeah so the White Queen doesn't have a kid in EAH; I just couldn't think of anything more suiting for Caspar, both in personality and appearance (a bonus, in my book!). Now technically most of the Wonderlandians are Golden Deer, but like... who cares. Also, it's adorable to picture Caspar having normal conversations with his mom, who is the princesses' advisor, and they're quite literally just shouting at each other. Even if they're on opposite sides of the destiny conflict, I feel like they'd have the sweetest relationship.

And that, my folksies, is that.

Confession: before starting this fic, the Black Eagles were my least favorite house. I didn't understand them at all, but now I am so glad I do. They got that Rebel heart, lads.

Next up: Blue Lions!

[critter-core]

Very rambly post about TMNT

Stupid Tumblr is limiting my text amount so this'll have to be a two-parter. When the second part is done, you can read it at the bottom. Basically, this is a rant about how I like ROTTMNT better than the 2012 show because of a few things. Let's first talk about design I will try not to be as harsh as I was going to be prior to looking at other people's posts about their opinions between Rise and 2012, knowing now that apparently, they had a low budget for the animation department of the show. Nonetheless, I loved another thing about Rise more. I could tell the characters apart. The designs were very unique and I loved it! If you took off the bandanas of the characters and lined them side by side, I'd still be able to tell who's who! Heck, if they were in a crowd, I'd still be able to tell who's who. I'm gonna pull a Donnie and ramble a bit, but you don't have to read this paragraph, it just goes into far more detail about the designs. Basically, all four characters are from different turtle species, which makes sense, them being brothers not by exact blood in the way a born family of turtles would. Raph is a snapping turtle, Leo is a red-eared slider, Donnie is a softshell, and Mikey is a box turtle. They all look different, basically with Raph being bigger and spikier, Mikey consistently being rounder and squishier, and although this doesn't sound like a lot, Donnie and Leo's patterns being completely different. All of these things help you know who's who without the outfits, and it does it's job well! Buttt let's talk about 2012. If you took the same experiment of taking off the bandanas of the characters, I couldn't tell them in a crowd, muchless just lined up. They look like you took the same model and then slightly altered the colors and took away some bits. Which wouldn't be that big of a deal, but the alterations were so small that I had to make a differentiation situation check prepared in case they ever do make it confusing. I looked at the paused line up of the four characters and noted that the biggest changes were that Raph had a crack in his chest piece, Mikey had freckles, and then Leo was darker than Donnie. That was how I could tell. That's a little absurd IMO. That I can't even tell the difference unless I look for those specific things. Because of the differentiation, Rise could have them in different outfits, and heck, even without their colors and it would be fine, because you will always recognize who's who. This was another thing that bothered me so much. To summarize once again, I don't like the designs of the 2012 TMNT main cast, because you cannot tell the difference between the four unless you look at tiny details like that. Even doing what Rise did and taking more patterns like they did with MIKEY ALONE, would have made it more clear. That's literally it. They literally could have just made the patterns darker if they wanted it to be more 'realistic' rather than going Rise-style team color markings (even though I think Donnie's purple markings were cool) Part 2 will be linked here

[drewbacca2]

Starkiller Saga

44 BBY Chapter two part four

The silent type

As I enter the hideout, I tap into the force and I start sensing around for life forms. A trick I learned from the Wookiee shaman. I feel about nineteen life forms. I know exactly where they are, I'll do this silently. I then go down the corridor, and to my left should be someone, I was right, his back is to me, good. I grab him with my Duraplast arm and I snap his neck. Eighteen to go. Someone is coming down the corridor. I get behind the wall waiting for him to get closer, he says "where Is winta? She's not at her post… oh well. Guess I'll steal some of her food from the lounge. Hehehe…" I look at the door in front of me and it says "lounge", good. He'll come to me. I ready my vibro knuckle and he turns the corner and I stab him in the neck. His body goes limp, I catch him and pull him into the lounge as well as the other guy. Seventeen. I continue down the corridor, and the two at the end must be going to the lounge, because they're walking this way. I hide behind a locker and they walk right past me. I check to make sure nobody else is coming. Good, this'll be easy. I walk silently behind them, I tap their shoulders, they gasp in surprise and before they can do anything else I put both my vibro knuckle daggers in their throats. I shove them into the locker and I continue on. Fifteen.

I'm surprised that there aren't any cameras. Shit! Spoke too soon. It hasn't seen me yet. I need to take care of the communications room next. If only I had a port to plug into… no? Nothing? Damn. It works for the camera but not the port? Whatever. Then I see it… under the camera… It looks like I won't be seen by it if I time it right. Now! I silently move under the camera. There's a crate to hide behind as I jack into the port. First, I'll make this camera play on a loop, then I'll download the layout of this building. Loop is done aaaand, got the layout. Hm. Communication room isn't that far. Hehe… good thing I added a jack to my arm. Came in handy today. I have no resistance to the communication room. Strange. I get in the communication room and… that's not good. I see repeat recordings of me killing a number of their people. I sense them coming and I hide in the locker. Four men walk in, then a woman does next. She says: "Find the Mandalorian! He's killed so many of our people! If we can't kill him, we know where his ship is! We'll kill that Wookiee first, then the rest of his crew, save for the purple one. Even after we have our fun, she'll catch a high price for that unique color. Haha" I've never been so angry in my life! First she threatens my crew? Then threatens to rape and sell my girlfriend? I'll show these fools why it's not smart to piss off a Mandalorian!

I bust out of the locker with the force, sending shrapnel in all directions. I walk out and say nothing as I stare the boss in the face. As the other four raise there blasters, I pull them out of there hands and I begin to choke and levitate them. At the same time still looking at her dead in the face. "Where are your other ten crew members?" I know where they are. Just want to see if fear is going to make her tell the truth. She says "in the garage! Preparing to head to your ship!" I say "thank you." I crush their necks and I say "Mandalorians have a long memory, and a short fuse." Then I shoot her in the face. Ten. I run to the garage, and I see ten speeder bikes, and one swoop bike. Nice, I'll be taking that once I'm done slaughtering these fools. I take out Vengeance and Justice, I shoot a gunner that's on a cat walk and one who's working on a speeder. Eight. One is running towards me with a trandosian slug shotgun. Where have I heard something similar like that? Anyway I shoot him in the head. I've always wanted a slug thrower. I'll be back for that. Seven. There's two behind a crate with a fuel canister next to it. I shoot the canister and it blows up. Five? No. Four. Another person got caught in the blast. The other four jump on their bikes and try to flee. "It would have been better if you hid!" As the garage door opens, I pull them off the speeder bikes and I holster Vengeance and Justice and pull out my sword. They're scrambling to get up and before they can get up I already have two decapitated. Two. One actually gets a shot off but it bounces off my Beskar chest piece. I cut his belly and I slit the throat of the last one. Zero. I wipe the blood off with the clothes of the last person I killed. I grab the slug shotgun and all it's ammo and I hop on the swoop bike, damn the keys… are in the ignition? Dumbasses. I tap out and I head back to Karrstag. It has a big seat. Could hold two or one Wookiee. I land the swoop and Karrstag says "What's with all the blood?" I look down and see I am absolutely covered in it. I don't say anything because I'm still kinda pissed. Don't feel like repeating it right now. I open the door. There are people gathering around. The foreman says "Damn, that is one bloody Mandalorian. Did you go swimming in that stuff?" I say, "we're done here. Those thugs have been taken care of. All of them. Tell Gungan Cargo I said so." He says "Y-yes r-right away! What was your name again?" I tell him "Grozchal Starkiller." "Right away Mr Starkiller!" We hop on my swoop bike and we head to the landing pad.

[microsoftedgy69]

Goliath, part 1

[prologue]

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering tremoloTangible [TT] at 11:11 -- TG: yo TT: Hey, what’s up? TG: have u checked up on our tl lately TT: Depends. What century? TG: ours TT: Then no. I haven’t been there in several months. TT: Why?

TG: k so TG: the carapaces are still there right TG: and i sometimes check up on em to make sure theyre doin ok. get enough to eat etc TG: but theyve all been losin their shit lately and i mean its kinda hard to talk to em properly but i dont wanna beat around the bush here so im not gettin into that TG: theres been some concerning stuff happening on our good old earth al TG: my alternian is p rusty and my translator gave me some weird results here n there but im gonna send u an article abt it and trust that ur language pack can handle it -- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has sent file ______.png --

You don’t have blood that can turn cold. You don’t have breath that can stutter in your chest. But some years ago, you were a human kid, and in this very moment, you remember perfectly how all these things felt.

TG: al

You reread the article. In your mind, your non-existent blood goes from freezing to boiling. You almost forget to switch your language pack to English when you reply to them.

TG: u still there TT: Yes. TT: Sorry. TT: She is turning Earth into a military base. TG: yeah thats what i was getting from it too TT: Hmm. TG: i dont like what that prob means 4 the carapaces TG: cant imagine shell give a shit about em yfm TT: Yeah. TG: idk abt ur part of the world TG: u said the apartment is underwater anyway aint it TT: It is, yes. TT: It’s still… I don’t know. TT: This might be silly. TT: But it’s still my home. TG: its not silly TG: this whole thing feels wrong TT: Yeah. TG: sooo TG: what do we do abt this TT: What? TG: we should b able to do something about this right TT: You wanna stop the Condesce? TG: ppl in other timelines have done it TT: That is correct. TG: we could do it TG: right TT: I have drafted a plan or two in the past. TG: o have u TT: I wasn’t sure if you were interested. TG: im pretty interested these days TG: the others not so much tbh but i cant blame em TG: theyre worried bc u know. i happen to be a lot less immortal than her or you TT: I’ve planned for that. TG: lmaooo TT: We’ll get you immortal and kill the Condesce, Rox. TG: man u rly are him huh TT: Told you.

Your name is Alan Strider. Sometimes, when you jerk awake at night, you are sure, one hundred percent sure, that Her Imperious Condescension is not done with you yet. Sometimes, when you sit on the deck of the boat you live on, recovering from nightmares, you think that she might come for you one day.

When that happens, you make plans.

You prepare.

It’ll be you who comes for her.

It’s you who’s not done yet.

i wanna hunt like david. i wanna kill me a giant man.

Roxy looks good when they come to meet you by your storage unit in Brazil. Grown up, you think, and determined. Nevertheless, something flickers over their face when you show them what's inside; when they lay eyes on the dismembered imperial drone you stole from your home timeline. You can relate. Your face doesn't show as much, but you feel the same every time you think about it.

You sit on scrap metal and talk about your plans. You have several, for different scenarios, and you accept what Roxy wants to change about them. The phrase Are you sure you want to do this is uttered back and forth a couple of times, before you both understand that yes. You're sure.

The way you end up agreeing on is simple enough -- if it works, you end up with a dead Condesce, a conditionally immortal Roxy, and a destroyed spare body of yours. If it doesn't, you have a list of other plans you can resort to. Stakes are high, but you've thought this through.

It's worth it.

So, you and Roxy get to work. You have to program the drone to go back home to mommy -- step one of the plan is both to find out her whereabouts, and to start coaxing her back to the planet she's having rebuilt. It might take a while, so it'll give you both time to… well, to gather up your things and make arrangements like pet care in your absence and telling your respective friends what's going on, you guess. You're not looking forward to this part of your masterplan, but you barely have time to think about it.

Anything that has you accessing an imperial drone's software is still prone to give you flashbacks bad enough to make your mechanical hands shake, so it's good that you have Roxy by your side this time. Practiced as you might be, they are still way better at this than you. You give them pointers to where they’ll find the parts of the programming you need to hijack, just to speed up the whole process, then you leave them be and go do your own work.

Roxy laugh-scoffed at the way your notes concerning the drone looked. When you disassembled it, you made yourself a map so you could put it back together, but it doesn’t look like something anyone else could ever decipher. It works for you, though. Part for part, the heap of metal starts resembling the huge beasts that almost killed the both of you on numerous occasions again.

“You wanna look over this before I finish it off?” Roxy asks eventually.

“I’m sure you did great,” you say, but you want to look over it anyway. You don’t get shivers down your spine now that you’re a robot, but you feel the sense of cold and dread in the back of your mind, going over the very program that made your lives hell, that both saved you and killed Dirk. Roxy reaches for your hand, and you take it. You exchange another We’re really doing this, huh? look, but nobody says it out loud anymore. You say, “Looks good.”

You captchalogue the finished drone, then transportalize back to Roxy’s part of your home planet, and release it. It’ll find its way back to the Condesce, and then promptly self-destruct, leaving in its wake only a message to goad her back to Earth. Once she’s made it back here, you’ll move on to the next part of the plan.

Until then, for now, you will wait.

Roxy hugs you before they disappear back to a different timeline’s Barcelona, and you disappear back to your boat in a different timeline’s Indian Ocean. Only once you are home and alone do you allow yourself to actually feel something.

Everything from Roxy messaging you to your feet hitting the deck of your yacht again happened without pause, your mind going on autopilot. Something was happening, so something had to be done in response, your plans had to be set in motion, there was no time to think about any of this. No time to fully realize what’s going on.

You stand there in the scorching evening sun of your current timezone, stare out at the horizon, and wait for the fear to come.

What hits you instead is cold, calculating, ready-to-maim anger.

You are not scared of her. Not when you know exactly what you’re going to do, where, how, and when you’re going to do it, to bring her down. You’ve been scared your whole life, and it’s enough, now. It’s enough. She’s taken your family from you, your childhood, your friends, your life as a human kid. If after all she’s put you through there is one person who has the right to destroy your home planet as well, it sure as shit should be you.

You square your shoulders, flex your hands, and refocus. You’ll have to talk to Alma to make sure you can time this coup just right to be back home for his big day.

And before that, after months and months of fighting it, you’ll have to tell your boyfriend that you’re doing the exact thing you promised him not to do.

There’s no going back now. You’ll make whatever sacrifices you need to end it once and for all.

[traumxrei-archive]

【 sunlit afternoons 】

author's note: the first person we'll be kicking off with is kalim ! this'll be my first kalim work which is p exciting but nerve wracking hhh i don't have much experience writing him so if he feels a bit ooc, do forgive me ;-; i shall do better next time ! kalim is just the biggest sweetheart ever so i hope you'll enjoyyy

characters: kalim al asim, gn! prefect, vil schoenheit

word count: 1.5k

tags: kalim baby boy <33, flower crown making, clumsy kalim goes brrr, he rambles a lot, he just wants to make you proud !, headpats bc where there is kalim there is headpats

[ or read it on ao3 | the fairy gala collection ]

"Ack, I broke off the stem again!"

Kalim winced at the way the flower snapped, staring dejectedly at his perpetually-unfinished flower crown.

The Prefect looked up from their own flower crown, "You really aren't used to working with your hands, huh?"

"Eheh~ I guess I can be a bit... clumsy at times..."

Clumsy was quite the understatement, he thought to himself, nursing his broken flower crown. It was that clumsiness in the first place that landed him here on flower-crown-making duty.

Maybe breaking his original flower crown— as well as the three backup ones— during practice wasn't the best move. Especially not while they were in such a hurry to get performance-ready for the Fairy Gala.

Vil had pinched his nose before speaking to him in an even tone, "As a little, mm, punishment for breaking four of those flower crowns, I shall have you make some backups for yourself." He was handed a bag of materials and with a wave of Vil's hand, he was sent out of the room.

It just so happened that the Prefect was there. In the hallway. Right as he was getting kicked out of the practice rooms. He gave them a sheepish smile.

"Do you...want some help with that?" They offered and Kalim could almost feel the tears lining his eyes.

"Prefect~ You really are an angel!" They had smiled as he continued to ramble about how exactly he broke the flower crowns and they had both examined Crewel's instructions on how to make those flower crowns except...

Except now he wasn't doing so well.

He set his own flower crown down, opting to lie on the ground. He propped up his head, watching the way their fingers twined the branches together to form a base for the nth flower crown they made.

The sun lingered on their skin, suffusing them in a gentle halo against the backdrop of the wide windows. Kalim blinked. Was the Prefect always that stunning ? And, oh, was the room getting a little warm? Or was that just him?

"That part!" Kalim exclaimed, trying to distract himself as they tucked the flower's stem into the branches. "I'm really bad at that part." He tried to ignore the way his heart started beating rapidly as they shuffled over to where he was.

"I'll show you." Kalim scrambled to sit, watching as they picked up a couple of flowers. "Here," They offered one into his hands. "Have you never made one of these before? Even as a kid?"

Kalim's eyes were glued to the way their hands carefully guided his own, swallowing as he spoke, "T-this is my first time, but my siblings sure loved making them!"

His gaze inevitably shifted to them, "My Mama scolded them a lot after. There aren't too many stray flowers growing in Scalding Sands, so they always took from Mama's flowerbed. I always got scolded the most because I'm the oldest. But I can't just...say no to my younger siblings, y'know?" He couldn't stop himself from rambling, the words coming out faster than he could stop them. It was all a vain attempt at covering up how nervous he felt have their hands pressed against his.

"So you're a lenient older brother, huh," They hummed. Their gaze flicked up to his, surprise lighting their eyes. "Were you paying attention to that part, senpai?"

Ah crap. He was totally caught staring.

"I-I was! I really was!" Kalim tried, but there was this familiar unconvinced look on their face. It faded into something that looked almost fond and Kalim felt that strange and fluttery feeling in his chest yet again.

They nudged at his knee, "I'll do it one more time, this time you look closely. Vil-senpai's not gonna be happy if you didn't at least make one of these." Kalim nodded, holding his breath as their hands resumed their earlier position. He watched closely, intent on getting it right this time if only to make them proud.

"Ah, so you loop around it twice loosely, and then you put in a leaf," Kalim nodded. "I think I've got it!" He pulled the crown closer, grabbing another flower and a fresh set of leaves to tuck around it. He stuck out his tongue in concentration, going through the motions of attaching another flower onto the crown.

He smiled triumphantly as he finished, raising the crown towards the sun, "I did it! I did it...I think?" Kalim turned to see them excitedly clapping.

A wide smile was on their face, "Good job, Kalim-senpai." He preened in their simple praise, smiling even more when they ruffled at his hair. "Ah, I'm not supposed to be messing up your hair. Sorry about that."

"No~" Kalim whined, grabbing at their hand. "Praise me more! I've worked so hard to get that flower on there!"

"Silly," They huffed, giving him another tentative pat. "We'll get in trouble with Crewel-sensei if your hair's too messed up." Kalim didn't bother with that, nuzzling into their palm a little more before they retracted their hand.

Kalim tilted the crown, "It's a shame it's kinda crooked huh..."

"I think it'll be fine if you put a few of these," They shook around some butterfly clips. They were iridescent in color, the light toying with its surface. Kalim grabbed a few, placing them at the spots where the crown looked a little too wonky.

"Perfect!" He held up the crown again, watching streaks of rainbow painting the floor as he turned the crown. "Wow, you're really good at this huh, Prefect! It's like you're an expert! Ahaha~"

"It's...really nothing, senpai," They coughed awkwardly. "It's the least I can do since I don't have that big of a role in our Operation."

"What~?" Kalim hooked an arm around their shoulders. "You're a huge part of our Operation! You're the uh, what was it again?"

"The signaler?"

"Yes, exactly that! And now you've saved me from Vil-sensei's scoldings, so I really do owe you one!" Kalim snapped, an idea popping into his head. "Close your eyes for a second."

They complied, but not without sending him a wary look, "Don't...break anything, okay?"

"I won't, I won't," He said in what he hoped was a convincing tone.

Kalim grabbed a fresh daisy from the pile of flowers, splitting the stem before braiding the ends together. He hummed a tune, some children's song that his siblings sang over and over one summer that he couldn't quite forget. Slipping the braided end near the bulb of the flower and tucking in the stems, he was done.

"Okay, open your eyes," Kalim gently took their hand, slipping his creation onto one of their fingers. "It fits you perfectly!"

"What’s this..?"

"It's a flower ring!" Kalim proclaimed. "I know it's not...the prettiest thing ever. I’ve only made it a couple of times, and I'd rather give you a real ring... But this doubles as my promise to you."

"A promise," They drew their hand back, carefully taking in the hastily woven ring. "For what?"

"For helping me out," Kalim's eyes creased as he smiled. "I, Kalim Al Asim, promise to help out with whatever you need in the future! All you gotta do is give me back the ring, and I'll help you with whatever you need."

"What if..." They cleared their throat, fidgeting with the ring slightly. "What if I want to keep the ring...?"

Kalim tilted his head, "Are you sure? I could give you a better, shinier ring from the vault if you really like it." They immediately shook their head at that and Kalim had to wonder if a flower ring he made was such an irreplaceable thing after all. Well, all that mattered is that they liked it. That certainly made him happy to hear.

They handed him the flower crown he made. "Shouldn't you be going back to Vil to show him your hard work?"

Kalim sat straighter, "You're right! He's gotta see all of yours too, so I'm gonna get going." He leaned forward, giving them a quick peck on the cheek before he could think too hard about it.

"Thanks for all your help Prefect!" He shouted, making a break for the door. He didn't look back once to see what their reaction was. There was no screaming so he wasn't in too much trouble, right?

Kalim could feel his cheeks warming as he replayed his actions. He just couldn't help it! They looked pretty under the sunlight, especially when their eyes went all sparkly as they looked at the ring. And plus, he was just showing his appreciation. That's all it was, right? (...Right?, a tiny voice in his mind asked. But Kalim didn't have time to ruminate on thought further.)

When he showed Vil the flower crown, it was safe to say that he was impressed. His exact words were, "I wasn't expecting you to get one done so quickly." which Kalim took as a compliment. And then he joined back with Jamil in practicing the dance.

That was until he smacked Jamil with his leg and toppled over, crushing the flower crown again. He looked up with nervous laughter at Vil, before taking one of the crowns the Prefect made. Well that's exactly why they made so many extras, right?

(Kalim then proceeded to crush the flower crowns at record-breaking speeds, earning him five minutes of planking as a punishment. Oh well. At least he had another excuse to spend more time with the Prefect.)

thank you for reading the silly otter brainrotttt :DD if you'd like to read more, check out my masterlist, or check out the fairy gala collection i'll be releasing !

[apocalypta-secundus]

They were kind of like having four long 10 inch kitchen knives attached to a hand. Her bankai even more, but those blades were even longer than that. But this wasn't her Bankai. These blades were thinner and about as wide as the swords she had in her hands.

"Tha' works for me, if there are others gimmie a shout." Hopefully that wasn't the case. Hollows didn't usually immediately manifest, so this thing couldn't have had an army. These seemed solitary for the most part, thankfully.

In the distance a Cero would have gone off and that instantly caught her attention. "Well, found 'em." Lyn picked up the pace and made it to where the large mid-class hollow was. "Ayyy big guy." And here she goes again, this'll get her hurt. "Someone should really cut ya down to size."

All that did was make it angry enough to try and attack her again, except she did a backflip away. "Nuh-uh." She tore right after it, not a very speedy shinigami, but she ran right up to it before it pulled its arm back.

an invitation.

how long has it been since she actually got invited to help someone in a fight? must've been a while..because she's feeling very happy right now. the fear and nervousness that appeared before get almost cleanse out by the happiness of the invitation to help. she might not be that useful for combat but she can be useful for healing process and protection process.

she looked more confident as she nod her head and then immediately gets up not wanting to be left out once more.

"I'll try!"

Orihime that does NOT sounds confident and go together with your face at all..but who cares, at least she'll try to, right?

she sees the zanpakuto being changed shape as it becomes a hand claws..it was long and seems sharp, kitchen knife.

wait what. Orihime, what do you mean kitchen knife.

she shake off the silly thoughts that came through her mind for a split second before she came back all confident once more.

"let's go! I'll protect your back!"

[veniteme]

Hunting for Gems

episode 5 part 1

ash island x reader

prev | next

When Ash Island is forced to participate as a producer for the latest season of Show Me the Money, he knows it won’t be easy. But when his partner is you, a rising producer from H1GHR, maybe it won’t be as bad as he thought.

--------------------------

“Come on.”

“No way,” you refute.

You and Ash have been holed up in his studio all night. The 1-on-1 battles are wrapping up, and the crew battles will be next. And after that will be the producers' stages, so you and Ash have been spending a lot of time preparing.

“It would just be one song! Out of the four that I’m doing! What’s the big deal?” For the past ten minutes, Ash has been trying to convince you to sing for your shared stage with him.

"I just don't see why I'd need to! Plenty of other producer-artist duos have come on the show, and the producer was deejay for the artist's performance. Why can't we do the same?" you argue back.

You've never sung in front of a live audience before, and this is going to be a pretty big stage. You don't want to mess it up for Ash.

Ash isn't having any of it, though. "Because that's what everyone will be expecting. Think about how surprised they'll be when they hear you sing for the first time," he reasons.

"Have you considered how shocked they'll be when they realize I'm terrible?"

"Is that what this is about?" he turns the questions back onto you. "You're worried you'll mess up?" You give him a look, you thought that would have been obvious by now. Of course you're scared of ruining his performance.

"You're a good singer!" he tells you. "Come on, it'll be fun." You highly disagree with that statement.

"Fun would be maybe performing in a club, for less than a hundred people. This would be a crowd of 1,000 people, who, I might add, are going to rank me, and it'll be broadcasted on national television!" You can feel the nerves just from imagining it.

"Look," Ash tries to calm you down, "it's not that big a deal." Easy for him to say, he's performed for crowds of thousands.

He continues on, "I'll be there the whole time backing you up, and you'd just have to sing a couple lines, maybe the bridge. And we're literally writing the song, so you have full control over what you end up singing."

He's making a pretty compelling argument for himself. You're having a hard time turning him down seeing how much he seems to want this to happen.

After a couple more seconds of hesitation, you budge. "Fine! I'll do it."

"Yes!" Ash goes as far as doing a fist pump into the air.

You let out a big sigh but can't help sharing a bit of his excitement. "Let's start writing."

-----

Round 4: Crew Battles

Crew battles are back! Due to explosive responses to it in prior seasons, the low-stakes round of rap battles returns, but with a twist.

After much negotiation between the judges and the production team: this year there will be no eliminations from the crew battles.

Saf: We're really happy that the production team went through with our request. The constant competition and fighting for your spot can get so stressful.

Ash: Having been on one of these shows myself, I agree. This'll allow them to have some fun on stage, and we can scout everyone out ahead of the upcoming team selections.

-----

After an exciting round full of surprises, the producers give their feedback to the contestants.

Saf starts out by giving a compliment to Caylo, one of the more well-known rappers expected to win the show. "Every time I think 'is he really that good? Is he worth all that hype he's getting?' your performances always prove to me: yes, you are worth the hype. Your bars were so sick today."

Caylo gives a bashful smile and thanks her. Then Ash Island moves on to give his own thoughts.

"One of the people who stood out most to me today was Lee Gunho," Gunho looks up in shock at hearing his name mentioned. "Nice job today."

He thanks Ash in a daze.

-----

"In all my years of knowing him," Hash Swan starts dramatically, "I've hardly ever heard Ash compliment anyone, much less another rapper."

He turns to Changmo as Ash rolls his eyes, "You ever hear him say anything like that before?"

"Nope," Changmo quips. "And he just did it for that kid two episodes in a row!"

Leella approaches Ash with a cheshire grin. "Aw, someone must want Gunho on their team real bad."

"And we know that someone sure isn't Ash," Hash Swan adds. Cackles ensue.

Ash is quick to defend himself, "Hey, as partners in this show, it is both my job and Saf's to help each other reach the goals we want for our team. One of her goals is to get Gunho, and I'm just doing my part to make it happen."

The boys don't believe a word of it, though.

"Whatever you say, man," Changmo says with a patronizing smile.

Ash begrudgingly hits play, and sounds of the show fill the room.

-----

"You agreed to sing a song with Ash and not me?" Rohan asks in utter disbelief. "I've been asking you to do a featuring for me for years!"

"I think we're both aware of the different positions you and Ash hold in my life," you deadpan.

"Fine, that's true," Rohan agrees. "And just to be clear, I am very happy with my position in your life. The thought of dating you gives me chills."

"Right back at ya, buddy."

-----

"Wait!" you pause in the middle of the recording session. "What if I do super bad and then we're ranked last by everyone?"

Ash stops the music outside the booth.

"Dude!" he exclaims in exasperation. This might be the twentieth time you've stopped.

He continues, "I could not possibly care less about those rankings. It's just you, me, and this song we've spent over 100 hours on. Nothing else matters- Scratch that." He could tell you were nearly ready to interrupt him again, so he takes a moment to think over his next words.

"For you, the only thing that matters is you. If you're proud of yourself and enjoy what you're doing, that's enough. Okay? Leave all the worrying up to me," he finishes.

"But you never worry about anything," you refute.

He shrugs, "So this will be good practice."

And you, finally, let out a smile and continue working on that song.

"Wait, did you just call me dude?"

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: The Bad Guys

WARNING: *Spoilers*

Being Bad? Going Good? Both never felt this great.

I'll admit, it felt Dreamworks had a recent streak of underwhelming features following How to Train Your Dragon 3. Not all bad, but I don't believe Spirit Untamed was on anyone's minds last year. Then The Bad Guys swerved in and that hope is alive again. I won't beat around things, I've been anticipating this since the trailer hit and I haven't felt this way since Captain Underpants. So with all that said, is the Bad Guys good or did it turn out bad? Well, enough about Bad Guy

Let's run it back to The Good Guys club, so to speak

For an adaptation of the books, it is a mixed bag. They stick with mainly the first four books which are the most grounded; not kidding when I say this goes off the rails past that mark. They do Foxington better here than in the books; reminded me a lot of Barbara from the LEGO Batman movie. The Police Chief, voiced by Lois Griffin, is a welcome addition to the cast (y'know ACAB except Misty Luggens). The titular Bad Guys themselves are a hit and a miss. I liked that they were an already made team of thieves with a good rapport, but what's missing was their initial development from the books. You get why'd they would be a team, you love seeing them together, but it's not like Sly Cooper where, even in its beginning, you get to see the trio have their separate conversations or dynamics. Understandable because it's a movie, but still, the book did things better by having the bad guys not be as established a group and working from there. Then there's Professor Marmalade who is...yeah, spoilers ahead but...

"Okay, so now the tier list looks like this"

Didn't even need to see any spoilers, Marmalade was a predictable bad guy, there was nothing to throw me off that he would be the bad guy, I never took him seriously as a bad guy, and they don't really do anything outside make a rift between Wolf and Snake. The books did better but then again, the books go off the rails faster than this movie. Like why not make everyone except Mr. Wolf joke about him being the twist villain? It falls in line the writing of the books but doesn't take away from the scale of Marmalade's plan nor makes Mr. Wolf look that stupid. Basically do what Captain Underpants did with Professor Poopypants. They set up a better twist ending to make up for this, but the villain himself was boring, wack, and this honestly bogged the plot down to a more predictable outing. What definitely saves this from being bad though...

This movie is such a fucking vibe

Put an egg on this film because it'll sizzle and season itself with how much fun this overall is. The soundtrack fucking slaps. Every lackluster moment is picked up with three other great moments. The first ten minutes is one of the best openers in all of Dreamworks, Diane is a delight every time she's onscreen, I love that they subverted the notably cliched dance party finale, there's several moments that perfectly shows Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake at his best, the titular Bad Guys themselves are just an enjoyable gang regardless of my gripes. It's on par with the Captain Underpants film where it could not have a sequel film or series in its future and I wouldn't mind because it's satisfying enough whether or not you read the books. And the animation is wondrous, possessing an unique energy that's a good blend of Sony's fast pace stuff and Disney's more grounded stuff. Hate to say it, but it feels like a CG anime at points, there no other film like this. It's like if Lupin the 3rd (part 2 Lupin, at least) directed a Zootopia spin-off and you can see that jazzy and kinetic flair at its best.

And the art, people, is genuinely refreshing

The Bad Guys just fucks so hard. I have the feeling this'll be compared to Megamind, though if Megamind is the reserved but passionate older brother, Bad Guys is the middle sibling that's more lively but is responsible where it matters. It was a fresh movie from Dreamworks, one that builds & builds, ending with a breezy jovial feeling. It's not complex, but again, they make this such a vibe that it eradicated any doubt I could've had with this film. Screw it, I'm not rating this...

I'm just glad a movie like this exists. I’m glad this exists.

[chatonne-rousse]

Turtle-y Awesome

@sketchy-panda sent me the following ask last week:

...and this is the story that sprang from that ask. You never know what you're going to get when you share a headcanon with me! 😉

Read it on Ao3 here.

"...et puit, quand il fut bien certain que personne ne pouvait le voir, Benjamin alluma sa veilleuse."

Adrien turns the last worn page and sets the book beside his knee on Hugo's bed.

"What do you think, kitten? Benjamin was turtle-y being a scaredy-cat, wasn't he?"

Hugo giggles, eyes bright. "He's not a cat, Papa, he's a turtle!"

Adrien nods sagely at his son. "Right you are," he says, patting the book's cover. "If this book tortoise anything, it's that Benjamin is definitely a turtle."

The number of turtle puns in the world is finite, and Hugo has heard his dad tell them all repeatedly, but he still laughs every time. The sound is music to Adrien's ears. He grins as he leans down to tuck the duvet around Hugo's shoulders and lifts his son's dark fringe to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Can we read another story, Papa? I'm not even tired."

Hugo's big green eyes scrunch shut as he yawns widely.

"Mmhmm. I can tell. You know what?" Adrien grabs another stuffed turtle from the bookcase and tucks it in beside the Carapace plushie already cradled in Hugo's arms. "Monsieur Vert looks very tired. He was almost sleeping over there! Maybe if you hold him really, really gently, that will help him fall asleep. I'm sure Carapace is tuckered out after a long day of superheroing, too."

"He is," Hugo says, nodding. He strokes his little hand up and over Monsieur Vert's soft shell. "I'll help them, Papa."

Adrien smiles even as his chest squeezes with emotion. "I know you will, my kind-hearted kitten." He can't resist pressing another kiss to Hugo's forehead and delights in receiving a loud, smacking kiss to his own cheek in return.

The turtle lamp on the nightstand is switched off and the Carapace nightlight beside the bookshelf activates, dim light glowing green through the plastic.

"Bonne nuit, ma petite tortue."

He watches his son cuddle his turtle and Carapace close as the closing door slowly eclipses the bed in shadow from the hallway light. Leaving the door open a crack, Adrien listens for a moment as Hugo gets comfortable in his bed.

He smiles as he pads down the hall toward Emma's room to join his wife for another round of goodnight kisses for their precious kittens.

*****

"Kitty, this is getting ridiculous. How is that the only thing he wants for his birthday?" Marinette shakes her head, but her grin betrays her lack of any real annoyance.

Adrien rubs his face and groans. "I know. Believe me, I know. Can you imagine if Nino knew?"

That surprises her. "You haven't told him? I told Alya ages ago when he said Carapace was his favorite." She thinks for a moment. "I don't think I've shared the, um...depth of the obsession, though."

He stares at her, deadpan, before they both laugh.

"Turtles I could handle, Mari. They're cute. They're green." He bats his eyes at her and she swats his arm playfully. "But Carapace? Carapace? When Chat Noir is right there? I don't get it."

"Awww, Chaton. Is my kitty jealous?"

"Of course not," he says, pouting, though he can't keep up the ruse and his smile breaks through. "Okay, maybe a little."

"Nino made a wonderful hero, and is the perfect holder for Wayzz, and you know it."

She scooches closer to him on the sofa and rubs his back gently. His eyes close for just a moment before opening them to find his wife gazing at him with what might just be his favorite look in her eyes - a teasing glint, a touch of heat, and an endless well of love. Everything goes fuzzy momentarily, but he catches her next words clearly.

"Besides, my favorite hero will always be Chat Noir. Always."

"Yeah?" he breathes.

She nods.

Her eyes go wide when he hauls her petite frame from the sofa beside him and settles her across his lap. She laughs as she wraps her arms around his neck and presses a kiss to his lips.

"What a coincidence, My Lady," he murmurs into the whisper of space between them, "because my favorite hero--" He pauses, kissing her again, "is also Chat Noir."

There's a beat of silence and then she's laughing, pressing her face into the crook of his neck to muffle her giggles. His arms tighten around her shaking shoulders as he laughs along with her, swept away by the sweet sound he will always love. There's no joy in the world quite like making his wife laugh.

"You know I'm kidding, Bug," he finally whispers into her hair when their laughter subsides. "Emma and I share a favorite hero. The greatest of all. Prettiest, too. Oh, wow, is she ever beautiful. And strong. And smart."

"Rena Rouge?" Marinette asks cheekily, her nose still pressed to his neck.

"Nooooo," he croons, tickling her sides until she laughs again. "It's Ladybug, jumping above, Lady magique et lady chance!"

"Kitty, no!" she begs through her giggles, "Don't get that in my head!"

"Too late!"

He silences the last of her laughter when he captures her lips with his, twin sighs mingling in the late-night quiet of the living room.

With forever in his arms and their shared future asleep down the hall, Adrien simply loses himself in this blissful moment, forgetting that their baby will turn five next weekend, that the passage of time is as inevitable as the dichotomy of creation and destruction. Wrapped up in his wife, time seems to stop altogether. Marinette - her love, her care, their unshakeable bond - is eternal.

But of course, the clock still ticks. And when they part a few minutes later, after one last kiss and a nuzzle of her nose against his, he still has to ask.

"So we're really throwing Hugo a Carapace-themed birthday party?"

She nods. "Yep."

"And we're buying him the new Shell-ter Secret Hideout Super Bunker, complete with Carapace action figure, power-ups, costume changes, a Turtle-mobile sports car that Nino never had, and four different colored shields that he also never had?"

"There's a jet, too, for some reason. But...yep."

Adrien nods slowly, a smile spreading across his face. "He's going to love it."

"Oh, he is," she affirms, her grin matching her husband's. "And so is Uncle Nino."

He snorts a laugh and pulls her close once more, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo.

"This'll be hilarious."

Marinette smiles against his shoulder.

"Yep."

*****

Everything is green.

Their normally colorful apartment seems to have transformed into an emerald dreamscape that doubles as a turtle sanctuary.

Everything is green, and there are turtles everywhere.

Sea turtles, tortoises, turtles of all kinds - including a certain turtle-themed superhero - adorn every surface. Adrien had been surprised by the amount of Carapace party merchandise he was able to find online. He's used to the numerous Carapace items in Hugo's bedroom, pieces he's added to his collection one by one over the past year or so. But this, his best friend's face dangling from streamers, emblazoned on little party hats, is just a little weird.

He's proud, though. A little jealous, a lot amused, and very, very proud. No desperately sad, pitifully lonely teenage boy has ever found a better friend than Nino Lahiffe. He's the brother of his heart, the mellow to his anxious, the staunch protector of their little group of best friends and hero teammates. Adrien has to admit that Hugo has great taste in favorite superheroes.

Someday he'll discover that his idol is also his Uncle Nino, but today is not that day. Today, the magic and wonder still shines in his son's eyes, and it's a beautiful thing.

Adrien putters around the kitchen making last-minute preparations to the food and drink selection, making sure there are plenty of cups and plates (all printed with a Carapace action scene, of course) stacked on the island. Oddly, he couldn't find Carapace napkins to go along with the other paper goods, but Marinette had saved the day by snagging a pack of sea turtle patterned napkins that coordinated perfectly in a pinch.

He smiles at the thought of his resourceful bug, his grin widening as he hears her welcome guests at the door. This is followed by a squeal of glee when Hugo and two of his classmates run off to his bedroom to play. Adrien shakes his head, still smiling. He'll have to lure them out in a bit with snacks and the promise of gifts and cake.

It's not like he doesn't already know from several years of experience that children's birthday parties are mostly adults mingling and intermittently making sure the kids don't get into too much mischief as they play together.

He takes the spinach quiche from the oven where it was warming up and sets it on the table with the other food, rebelliously placing a black potholder with a neon green pawprint pattern under the hot ceramic dish.

A towering, tiered tray of green macarons has pride of place on the dining room table, the top half of each cookie painted to look like a turtle's shell in edible glittering gold. They look almost too pretty to eat, and the same goes for the expertly-decorated turtle cake nearby, made by Hugo's grandparents and brought straight from the bakery for his big day.

The vegetable plate is an array of green, from broccoli to peppers to celery. The party has barely begun, but the celery is already running low, thanks to Emma's clandestine snacking in the hours beforehand.

Everything is green, and Hugo loves it. And that's what it's all about, really.

*****

Adrien is on his way back from checking in on the now half dozen kids playing in Hugo's room when he hears Alya's laughter from the entryway. Clearly she's spotted the party decor. He rounds the corner to find Marinette hugging her best friend, Alya's pregnant belly only getting in the way a bit and not stopping her from throwing her arms around Marinette's shoulders.

"Sorry we're late, Mari," she says, then pitches her voice to a stage whisper. "I had to pee. Twice." She leans back from the hug and cradles her bump. "Actually, I'm just going to..." She points down the hall, and Marinette laughs.

"Go for it, Als. We've all been there."

Nino is still crouched by the door, helping his daughter out of her jacket and shoes. He just shakes his head and laughs. She races off to find her "cousins" and Nino stands, kissing Marinette on each cheek and wrapping Adrien in a hug.

Surveying the apartment over Adrien's shoulder, he claps him on the back and says, "I love what you've done with the place. Very inspired design choice."

Adrien rolls his eyes and all three of them laugh.

"Hugo is obsessed with turtles. You have no idea."

"Oh, I think he has some idea, Minou." Marinette smiles at her husband over her shoulder, linking arms with Alya when she joins them again and ushering her into the green-bedecked living room.

He glances sidelong at Nino with a sheepish grin. "This isn't too weird for you, is it? It was all Hugo's idea. He hasn't stopped talking about his 'Carapace Turtle Party' for weeks," Adrien says, air quotes included.

"Nah, mec, it's cool. Kind of flattering." Nino raises an eyebrow and laughs. "What do you think he'll say when you tell him someday?"

Adrien just shakes his head. "Probably ask if you can adopt him and be his dad instead." His smile is teasing but just a touch rueful.

Nino laughs again. "No way, man. Number one, I've already got enough kids. Number two, you're the best dad. They love you like crazy, bro. Seriously."

His chest fills with warmth. Nino is such an incredible friend. And he's right (about the last bit, at least).

"They're incredible, Nino. Being a dad is..." He trails off, unable to find the words.

"I know, dude." He claps Adrien on the shoulder. "They're a pain in the ass, but they make up for it by being totally awesome."

Nino glances around, finally spotting the table full of green food and turtle-themed treats.

"Wait. Bro. Is that a turtle cake?"

*****

"You know," Nino says a few minutes later, washing down a matcha macaron with a swig of turtle punch, "I could get used to this. It would mess with my head, but after a while--" he looks at the cup with his face on it and shrugs, "it's not so strange. Better than having my face plastered on a billboard outside the Galeries Lafayette."

Adrien groans. "Et tu, Brute? Why would you remind me of that?"

"Because I can." Nino takes another bite of macaron and nudges his best friend's shoulder, laughing.

*****

As the kids snack and carry on, Adrien finally decides it's time to let his best friend see the Carapace shrine that is his son's bedroom.

Nino takes in Hugo's completely green, turtle-filled bedroom as Adrien waits with bated breath beside him for his reaction.

It is, as usual, relatively chill.

"Little dude has good taste!"

"Indeed." Wayzz peeks from Nino's collar with a pleased smile on his face. "The turtle has always symbolized wisdom, strength, and longevity." His tiny smile widens. "I'm also partial to the color green."

Nino steps farther into Hugo's room to examine the bookcase. "I...did not know they made this much Carapace merch."

"Believe me, there's more. We have to draw the line somewhere." Adrien closes his eyes and sighs. "Although he does brush his teeth with a Carapace toothbrush."

Nino's laugh starts as a snort and builds when he spots the Carapace wastebasket beside Hugo's bed and the Carapace plushie propped against his pillow. It turns positively raucous when he sees his best friend's face.

"Holy crap, dude," he wheezes. "This is hilarious. You must be so jealous."

"I am not!"

"You totally are."

"Well--" Adrien sputters, "Marinette is, too!"

"Not as much as you are, Kitty!" she calls from the living room.

Adrien throws his hands in the air. Nino doubles over.

"Chat Noir is cool, too," he mutters, petulant.

A still-laughing Nino pats his arm consolingly. "If it makes you feel any better, Chat Noir is my favorite hero...after Rena Rouge."

That actually does make him feel better, but he's not telling Nino that. Instead, he just grins a sly half-smile at his best friend. "Good save, man."

"Hey, I know which side my bread is buttered on, mec. Don't act like you don't."

Adrien is helpless to the smile that spreads across his face.

Nino groans. "You've been married for seven years, dude. Are you ever not going to go all gooey just thinking about Marinette?"

Adrien quirks an eyebrow and glances sidelong at him. Nino nods once and pats Adrien's shoulder.

"That was a dumb question, wasn't it?"

"Yep," Marinette says from the hallway behind them.

Adrien's heart beats faster at the twinkle in her eye. He wonders how much she heard. Probably all of it - she always did have sonic hearing, but motherhood seemed to ramp it up to eleven. Not much escapes his wife.

"Time for cake and presents," she announces. "Nino, you can revel in Hugo's Carapace shrine later."

"And I will, don't you worry," Nino says with a laugh as he turns to head back to the party.

Adrien throws an arm over his best friend's shoulder and smiles brightly at Marinette.

Hugo has merch, but Adrien has a real, live Ladybug who promised eternity to her Chat Noir. He holds his own favorite superhero in his arms every night, and nothing, nothing compares to that.

*****

Surrounded by wrapping paper and bows, the birthday boy sits on the floor with one last gift in front of him. The box is taller than he is when seated, and he has to stand up on his knees to tear the paper off the top. As soon as he can see what's inside, he shouts with glee and jumps to his feet. Overjoyed, he scampers around the coffee table to his parents, first thanking Marinette with a hug and kiss, then getting swept up in Adrien's arms for a bear hug.

The fact that Hugo doesn't push away from him to return to his barely-unwrapped gift is not lost on him, nor is the fact that he abandoned it and thought to thank them first in his excitement.

Sometimes Adrien feels like he's been given so much more than he deserves. Marinette alone is a blessing beyond his imagination, but Emma and Hugo, too? It's too much and he knows it, so he holds them close and relishes every single moment like this one with his little boy hugging him tight and murmuring thanks into his neck.

A few minutes later finds Hugo examining every detail of his new treasure (after Adrien wrangled all the parts out of their plastic-encased prison).

He claps his hands when he sees that this set comes with a bonus Chat Noir action figure in addition to Carapace and his shields of many colors.

"Maman!" he cries, jubilant, holding Chat Noir above his head so she can see. "Look! It has Chat Noir! You love Chat Noir!"

Blushing, Marinette pointedly avoids looking in the direction of the two moms of Hugo's school friends who've stayed for the party but smiles widely at her son. "I do. He's my favorite superhero of all time."

Hugo nods, turning to his dad where he sits beside him on the floor, struggling to snip the tiny plastic anchors holding each piece to the cardboard backing.

"See, Papa? He's Carapace's sidekick."

"Hey!" Adrien says indignantly. He looks up from the mess of cardboard and plastic in his lap as Marinette, Alya, and Nino laugh.

Nino, best bro that he is, chimes in. "Nah, little man, Chat Noir is no one's sidekick. He's way too brave and cool for that." He grins at Hugo and points first to the Carapace action figure on the coffee table and then to Chat Noir in his hand. "They're a team. Best friends and superheroes at the same time. That's why they're so awesome."

Hugo looks at the Chat Noir figure for a long moment. "Wow," he breathes. "Chat Noir is as cool as Carapace." He says it like a revelation that's rocked his entire worldview.

Alya sniffles and Marinette hands her a tissue.

"Okay, but Ladybug is still the coolest," Emma pipes up from Hugo's other side.

All the adults besides Marinette nod. Adrien reaches around Hugo to pat Emma's back.

"You're absolutely correct, kitten."

Marinette blushes again and Alya blows her nose.

Hugo tucks Carapace into the driver's seat of the Turtle-mobile with Chat Noir beside him as his passenger, racing the sports car across the rug toward his friends so they can play with his new toys, too.

Adrien looks from his son to his own best friend, and Nino gives him a thumbs up and a grin.

*****

Later, when the dishes are washed and their living room looks slightly less like a turtle habitat, Adrien sits on the sofa with a cup of tea and watches Hugo play with his new, treasured birthday gifts. The Shell-ter Secret Hideout Super Bunker is open, its many accessories strewn around Hugo where he sits cross-legged, Carapace in his left hand and Chat Noir in his right.

"I'll protect you!" "Carapace" cries, Hugo's voice pitched to sound brave and true but still carrying his sweet child's tone.

"Thank you for keeping My Lady safe, Carapace!"

Adrien snorts a surprised laugh into his tea. "Chat Noir" speaks in a husky growl, though Hugo gives him a note of cheery confidence, as though he truly appreciates Carapace's brave deeds, as though Chat Noir can take the decisive cataclysmic swing knowing his beloved partner is safe from harm.

And honestly, Hugo has the right of it. Adrien wonders how his son could possibly know that this exact scene - with slightly different dialogue, of course - played out many times over, years before he was born.

Hugo mimics the sound of an explosion, then an "oof!" as Chat Noir falls to his back but springs up again quickly. Just as Carapace returns to Chat's side with a confident, "What can I do to help save the day, Chat Noir?", Marinette's hands snake around Adrien's shoulders from behind, surprising him.

He sets his mug on a coaster on the end table and wraps his hands around her forearms, pulling her in closer. Leaned over the back of the sofa, she nuzzles his cheek with hers before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I think we pulled off the dream turtle party pretty well, don't you, Chaton?"

"Oh, we turtle-y did."

Adrien delights in the huff of laughter she exhales against his cheek. That might be the most overused pun in the house, but sometimes it still lands just right. They watch Hugo play, matching grins making their cheeks press closer together.

"Looks like that was one shell of a gift, eh?"

He swoons dramatically, his head falling to the back cushion of the sofa so he looks at Marinette upside-down. "My Lady, you know what it does to me when you pun."

"Oh, I do," she says, completely unapologetic, and boops his nose.

He just has to lean up to kiss her because, well, she's so beautiful and he loves her so much and she's right there.

They break apart a moment later when they hear Emma call for Marinette from her bedroom. She plants one last upside-down kiss on his forehead and lets her hands drift slowly across his chest and shoulders as she stands.

She gives him a wry smile. "Duty calls."

"Hmmm," he hums thoughtfully, picking up his tea and taking another sip. "And here I thought her name was Emma."

Marinette groans at him as she walks away, and the sound catches Hugo's attention.

"Papa? Will you play superheroes with me?"

Of course. Always. I will never, ever be too busy for my kittens, he thinks.

"Sure, buddy," he says instead.

Finishing his tea in one big gulp, he slides from the sofa and scampers on hands and knees like a giant cat to where his son is playing. Hugo giggles at his dad's ridiculousness.

Adrien takes stock of the many accessories scattered around the play set and asks, "What are Chat Noir and Carapace up to today?"

Hugo explains the situation, the bad guy's motives, and what the heroes need to do to save Paris from disaster. Adrien listens carefully. Looking up at him with green eyes that match his own, big and wide and crinkled at the corners with his happy smile, Hugo offers the Chat Noir action figure to his dad.

"Will you be Chat Noir, Papa? He's Carapace's best friend in the world and they need to work together to save the day."

Adrien cradles the action figure in one hand and gently pats the pocket where Plagg hides with the other. His kwami presses a paw against his chest in return. Overwhelmed, all he can do is grin at Hugo and try not to cry.

"It would be my greatest honor," he vows grandly, holding up a hand in oath. "I purr-omise to be the best hero I can be. Cat's honor."

Hugo laughs. "You said honor twice."

"So I did. That's because it's very important."

His son nods solemnly, then reaches for Carapace's super jet. He places the hero in the cockpit and flies the jet around his head, making zooming noises.

"Are you ready, Chat Noir? I'm coming to pick you up!"

The jet has only one seat, but that doesn't seem to bother Hugo. Adrien readies the tiny plastic baton in Chat Noir's hand and uses it to vault from his own knee into the imaginary sky over Paris.

"Meow-velous!" he crows, delighted. "This cat is ready to be whiskered away in your very realistic jet! Allons-y, my turtle friend!"

Hugo giggles, Adrien's heart melts, and they set off on a grand adventure together.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Forest National in Brussels, Belgium - August 24, 1984

Some parts of the Hammer To Fall promo video were filmed during this show - the camera was filming the audience reactions during TYMD, Radio Ga Ga and Hammer To Fall. On the next day 20 fans from the Dutch fan club were invited to come again to the filming of the promo video.

At the gig, the band asked the audience to return the following day for the shoot. However, most likely assuming it was all a joke, the vast majority stayed away; in fact only a dozen fans turned up. Undeterred, the shoot went ahead anyway, with the band's performance that day interspersed with footage shot the previous night.

(x)

This is the first show of The Works tour.

According to the July '89 issue of Record Collector, Queen ran through about 40 songs during rehearsals. This list of songs rehearsed that didn't end up in the setlist comes from someone who worked on the tour:

Great King Rat (longer version), Brighton Rock (full song), I'm In Love With My Car, Sweet Lady, White Man, We Will Rock You (fast), Play The Game, Need Your Loving Tonight, Put Out The Fire, Las Palabras de Amor, Life Is Real (both Freddie solo piano and Freddie/Brian acoustic duet versions)

The keyboardist for this tour (and also the '86 Magic tour) is session musician Spike Edney. He would also lend some vocals to many songs and play rhythm guitar in Hammer To Fall. He and Roger Taylor would form a band called "The Cross" in 1987 which spawned three albums, and he would return to Queen in the 21st century to play on the tours with Paul Rodgers and Adam Lambert.

Spike was recruited in a very informal way by a Queen associate. He went to Munich for their first rehearsal in early August, wound up partying for most of the first night, and missed the first day's rehearsal. It later transpired that everyone else had. He recalls, "The next day, we all managed to get to it eventually, to the first rehearsal, and all the gear was set up. The stage was huge, and I thought "Oh well, here we go then" and we got to the first song , and what I'd forgotten was that they hadn't actually played together for two years. So they said, OK, let's try one of the new songs, I think it was Radio Ga Ga, and we started playing it, and course, I knew it, I'd been studying it for weeks. You know, 1,2,3,4 and we start and we get about a minute into the song and the whole thing collapses. And they all look at each other, you know, very sheepishly, and they say, "Anyone know how it goes?" and I say "well, actually, I know. I know how it goes" and they said "Ah". And so I started showing them the chords and everything and Fred looked at me and said "You don't know the words, do you?" and "Well, yeah I do actually" so then they all came round the piano and we spent the whole day just going through songs, and I thought, "I'm gonna be all right here, this'll be OK"!"

The show started very late, as the band were still doing soundcheck when they were supposed to go on. Apparently over the previous week there were few occasions when all four band members actually showed up for rehearsal. Many songs (likely those listed above) never made the setlist, and soundcheck was an extensive cramming session, particularly for the older material that they hadn't played in years.

Roger Taylor later reflected that this European tour was one of his favourites, and many fans cite the early Works setlist as their favourite ever played by the band. Three medleys are now played, two of which have revived many old songs: Killer Queen, Seven Seas Of Rhye, Keep Yourself Alive, Liar, Stone Cold Crazy and Great King Rat. Staying Power from Hot Space returns to the set, as does Sheer Heart Attack from News Of The World. Only half of Staying Power is played, and it runs into Dragon Attack, followed by an improvisation running into a more compact version of Now I'm Here compared to previous tours.

Many people who attended shows on this tour recall Queen having a very heavy sound, especially on songs like Liar and Stone Cold Crazy. By 1984 they had gained a reputation as being one of the best live rock acts in the business.

Six songs from The Works are performed each night, and the introduction tape is from the album track "Machines". After the heavy G chords are heard on the tape twice, the band walk on stage in the darkness to play the chords the third time, which leads into the brand new "Tear It Up". This is yet another effective opening to a Queen show, something they would perfect time and time again.

I Want To Break Free is performed each night in 1984-85 as the first encore, with Freddie coming on stage sporting a pair of huge plastic breasts under a pink shirt. Part way through the song, he would remove the breasts and twirl them around for a while before finally throwing them into the audience. Some souvenir! As a result of this gag, Another One Bites The Dust has been moved from the encore to be earlier in the set.

This tour showcases an incredible lighting rig and an overall setup mimics the movie Metropolis, from which scenes were used for the promo video of Radio Ga Ga last year. The huge wheels behind the stage (modelled after the ones on The Works album cover) rotate at mostly random times - usually because they are turned manually by various crew members such as Roger's tech Chris "Crystal" Taylor whenever they have a free moment (Freddie Mercury's assistant Peter Freestone told the tale in 2021):

“Yeah, I mean Rio was… amazing. The feeling from that crowd… you know, something like 350,000 people. Oh, you can’t beat that. And when you’re flying in a helicopter over that crowd, it was stunning. But the thing is, I know this sounds really, really stupid but [laughs]… one thing I will always, always remember from that tour was, remember, in the back of the stage you had these wheels that turned every now and then, not constantly but just every now and then. That was because there was… the guy looking after Roger’s drums and me who actually turned those wheels. And there was no set cue or anything that, “Oh, it has to start on this bar, on this song.” No, it was when he wasn’t doing anything and I wasn’t doing anything, we’d say “Ok, let’s go and do it.” And we turned the wheels for a couple of minutes and then left them alone. He had then to do something for Roger and I would just sit there like I always did. And then you’d go back and you’d turn the wheels, like a hamster. We were like hamsters…”

However, a crew member who worked on the tour recalls otherwise: "I do know local crew members were used on the UK shows and certainly (a number of) European gigs. The other thing is that Radio Ga Ga had a set piece with the cogs and lighting, using low ambient lighting and strobes to emphasise mechanical motion of the cogs during the instrumental break. Would Roger Taylor be happy with no one covering him/his kit during a show? Possibly Peter Freestone is remembering production rehearsals when any spare bodies might have been asked to operate the cogs?"

During vocal improvisations on this tour, Freddie would often include bits of "Foolin' Around" and "Living On My Own" from his pending first solo album, which he had been working on during this period.

Freddie now plays a Telecaster for Crazy Little Thing Called Love. It would remain like this through the Magic tour.

The band no longer bring a gong with them on the road. Roger now does a cymbal roll at the end of Bohemian Rhapsody.

A fan recalls hearing the band running through Tear It Up whilst queuing up to enter the venue.

Freddie's voice is in superb shape for this show, but it will quickly weaken as the tour progresses. As incredible as Freddie Mercury was, he certainly did not take care of his voice at times, especially in the mid-80s. After a couple years of heavy smoking, Freddie's voice now sounds a lot deeper and raspier overall.

Before It's A Hard Life, Freddie says, "I think tonight we're gonna do songs from just about every album that we've ever made. You heard some very early stuff from the first album. Right now I think we're gonna do something very new, and we'll see what you think of it."

Freddie does a vocal exchange with the audience before Staying Power, singing "Get Down Make Love" and "Gimme Some Lovin" a few times. The band would improvise bits of the latter a couple times in 1986.

This is the only show on the entire Works tour where Roger plays regular acoustic drums on Another One Bites The Dust (before which Freddie teases the audience with a bit of Mustapha). For the rest of the tour, he'd play electronic drums. He'd also integrate the electronic drum kit into a few other songs, like at the beginning of Hammer To Fall, where one might argue that his sounds don't appropriately complement the guitar to create the intense, heavy sound.

The band sound very tight on this opening night of the tour, with the only exception being the rough transition from Stone Cold Crazy to Great King Rat. The keyboard and guitar solos are integrated together for the first few shows of the tour, during which Brian plays a few bits from Machines. Spike Edney uses his vocoder (a Roland VP-330) for the "machines" and "back to humans" lines heard throughout the tour during this spot (he would use his vocoder for the "radio" lines in Radio Ga Ga as well). After this segment, Brian then gets a few minutes to play on his own as usual.

Parts of the promo video for Hammer To Fall were filmed during this show. Claims from some (even official) sources state that Freddie invited the audience back for (what would actually be "additional") filming the following day aren't true. Here is all that Freddie had to say before the song: "This next song we're gonna use in our next video. So everybody just go mad and maybe later you'll see one of you guys inside the video one day. Oh, just go crazy, take your clothes off. It's called Hammer To Fall." After the song, he simply says, "Good night, you guys!" as that was the last song of the set.

Here is a fan's recollection: "On the night of the gig, there was a camera mounted on an arm that would swing over the front rows of the audience during a few songs. These audience shots were taken during Tie Your Mother Down, Radio Ga Ga, and Hammer To Fall itself. I guess they also had a camera up in the box at the back of the hall [as there are a few shots of both the audience and the band]. I don't remember any cameras onstage during the gig - just the one mounted on the arm."

The Dutch fan club invited only about twenty of its members to attend the video shoot the next day. They were instructed by a roadie to sit quietly on a chair and not to move or approach the band members. After a few hours, Brian came over and had a chat with them, checking to see if they were enjoying themselves and if they were hungry. He then promptly ordered them some take-out!

A minute of Tie Your Mother Down from this show was later broadcast on the Belgian TV station "RTBF" (x) (x). An audience-shot video allegedly exists as well, containing five songs.

After years of speculation, the existence of more footage from this show was proven when bits of it were included in the promo video for Let Me In Your Heart Again in 2014. About 30 seconds of Somebody To Love (largely crowd shots) were seen. There is, however, no accompanying audio. (x)

The first photo is from the autumn 1984 Queen fan club magazine. Brian is seen with a watchful eye over the proceedings. Tour manager Gerry Stickells and his wife are also in the shot.

Pics 2 through 6 were submitted by Alessio Rizzitelli, and the seventh pic was taken by Dave Matkin.

(x)

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #202

(Woof, we were almost a day late. Sorry about that, just got a second job. The first one at Facebook isn't working out that great. Anyway!)

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're getting a little bit beastly with the help of Atalante (Alter)! Move fast, hit hard, and outlast anyone who gets in your way. She's a Beast Barbarian for some beastly armaments and extra mobility, plus a Brute Fighter to hit harder and last longer.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: They say every mentor learns from his students. This next servant really took that lesson to heart.

Race and Background

This Atalante is still a Shifter, but thanks to that beast's hide she's wearing, she's now a Beasthide Shifter, giving her +1 Strength and +2 Constitution (Thanks, Tasha!) She also gets Darkvision, Keen Senses for Perception proficiency, and a Toughness that gives her proficiency with Athletics. The big purpose of the class, however, is Shifting. You can transform into a fuzzier version of yourself for up to a minute once per short rest. Because you're a beasthide, your shift is a bit tougher than most; you gain 1d6+your level+ your constitution modifier temporary hit points, and your AC goes up by 1.

You're also still an Outlander, giving you Survival proficiency to live off of hydras. You would normally get athletics too, but you've got that already, so grab Persuasion instead. You're able to keep Yagas together, that's no small feat.

Ability Scores

You might be a wild animal now, but your speed is still your greatest asset, so your Dexterity should still be pretty high. Second highest now is your Constitution, that hide you've got on is really tough. And distracting, I mean you look like a goddamn Power Rangers villain. You kill things with your bare hands, so your Strength has to be up to snuff too. Your Wisdom is also above average, the Yaga seem to like you fine. This means your Intelligence isn't that great- you're not Chiron's star pupil this time. Finally, dump Charisma. You're a terrible liar, and you're hard to get along with.

Class Levels

Barbarian 1: Starting off as a barbarian makes your AC even better, thanks to Unarmored Defense. Now you can add your constitution and your dexterity modifiers to your AC while unarmored. (I know you technically get armor later, but it completely avoids your vital organs, so I'm not counting it.) You also get Rage, spending a bonus action to make you stronger (advantage on strength saves & checks), tougher (resistance to physical damage) and more brutal (bonus damage from strength-based attacks). Oh right, you also get proficiencies. Strength and Constitution saves, plus Intimidation and Nature skills. You're a scary wild animal, yes you are, yes you are!

Fighter 1: You still need weapons though, and rather than wait for two levels for your subclass, we'll go into Fighter right now for an Unarmed Fighting Style. You can punch people for 1d6 damage (1d8 if you have two hands free), and you can deal damage to grappled creatures if you start your turn holding onto them. You also get a Second Wind, healing yourself as a bonus action.

Barbarian 2: Second level barbs can make Reckless Attacks; you get advantage, your enemies get advantage, everyone wins! Except your enemies, because they'll all be dead before they get a turn. You also get a Danger Sense that gives you advantage on dexterity saves. You're still kind of a cat, I guess.

Barbarian 3: Third level barbarians set down a primal path, and the path of the Beast is for those who want to rip and tear, until the job is done. Right now you get a Form of the Beast when you rage, giving you one of three natural weapons. You can bite, dealing 1d8 piercing damage and regaining HP once per turn if you're bloodied. Otherwise, you can use your Claws to deal 1d6 slashing damage, and you get one extra attack with them per turn. The last one's less in character, but you can still grow a Tail if you want, dealing 1d8 piercing damage on attack, and you can use your reaction to apply a d8 to your AC against an attack that hit you. You also get Primal Knowledge in another barbarian skill. Pick up Animal Handling, it might help with the Yaga.

Barbarian 4: Bump up your Strength for better fighting. Real simple.

Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbs get an Extra Attack each attack action, as well as Fast Movement giving you an extra 10' of speed each turn. Turns out, you're fast! Who knew!

Barbarian 6: Sixth level beastbarians find their Bestial Soul, making their rage weapons magical against resistances. Whenever you finish a rest, you can also Self Evolve in one of three ways. You can gain a swiming speed and breathe underwater, a climbing speed that negates the need for climbing checks, or you can add an Athletics check to your jump distance once per turn. Normally, you can make an 8 foot long jump without runnig. Now you can jump a distance between 15' and 34'. It's a pretty good jump boost. The jump is the most in-character, but feel free to evolve whatever you need for the situation.

Barbarian 7: Seventh level barbarians grow even faster, with their Feral Instincts giving them advantage on initiative rolls, and you can ignore a surprise round by raging. Which you'd probably do anyway, so just roll with it. Speaking of raging, when you do so, you can make an Instinctive Pounce to move half your speed as part of the bonus action. You're not as fast as your archer self, but this'll help close the gap.

Fighter 2: Yep, we've got enough primal stuff, time to make it hurt. Bouncing back to fighter now gets you an Action Surge. Once per short rest, you can add an extra action to your turn, no strings attached. Use this to attack and you can hit people four times per turn, or five times with your claws!

Fighter 3: Third level fighters get their martial archetype, and becoming a Brute makes you a bit more heavy-handed. Your Brute Force lets you add a d4 to every damage roll you make with your weapons, and the die grows as you level up. This means your teeth are now arguably as strong as a greatsword.

Fighter 4: Another ASI! Bump up your Strength.

Fighter 5: Unfortunately, the fifth level of fighter gets you absolutely nothing. Extra attack doesn't stack like that. :(

Fighter 6: Use this ASI to grab the Mobile feat, for extra movement and the ability to shut down the attacks of opportunity from anyone you tried to hit this turn. Getting hit is for slow people.

Fighter 7: Seventh level brutes get Brutish Durability, adding a d6 to every save they make, up to and including death saves. If this brings a death save to a total of 20 or higher, you automatically pop back up with 1 HP. Barbarians tend to make the most death saves out of any party member, might as well be good at it.

Fighter 8: Another ASI! Grab the Martial Adept feat for a superiority die (1d6) that you can use to perform one of two Battle Master Maneuvers once per short rest. A big part of this build is adaptability, so the final say in what maneuvers you get is up to you. That being said, I highly recommend Ambush for a boost to stealth and initiative rolls, or Maneuvering Attack for even more mobility. It adds damage to your attack, and you can let one friendly creature (including you) move half its speed without provoking opportunity attacks from the target.

Fighter 9: Now that you're Indomitable, you can re-roll a failed saving throw once per long rest. I know berserkers are glass cannons in FGO, but that's just how they flavor their easily tricked nature, really they're hard as hell to fight, even if you've got fireballs and shit.

Fighter 10: Tenth level brutes get a bigger Brute Force die, now you add 1d6 to every attack, so your hands are as powerful as a greatsword. You also get an Additional Fighting Style, so grab Superior Technique for a second superiority die per rest and a third maneuver of your choice.

Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack, and this one does stack, so you can attack up to 6 times per turn, or 7 with your claws and your action surge.

Fighter 12: Use your last ASI to become Resilient to Dexterity saves. You get +1 dexterity, and proficiency with that kind of save. So yeah, you now have advantage, proficiency, and an extra 1d6 against that fireball. Good luck, spellcasters.

Fighter 13: Our capstone level is a second use of Indomitable per day. Not the flashiest way to end a build, but at least you're not a sorcerer.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

When you want to hurt someone, they really hurt. With four claw attacks and three unarmed attacks, all boosted by rage, maneuvers, and brute force, you can deal 3d8+13d6+42. And those are all with advantage, so you've got a good chance of dealing a crit. Even without that chance, you can still deal over 100 damage in a single turn with average rolls.

You've also got plenty of Mobility to stay on top of your prey, with a base movement of 50' per turn and the ability to jump an absolute minimum of 20', or you can swap in other kinds of movement if you're going to the sea or a cliff face. You've also got several ways to pour more speed in if you need it. You won't be able to win a race against your archer self, but you'll definitely make her work for it.

Your saves are ridiculous, especially your physical ones. You've got proficiency in all three, good scores, an additional 1d6, and your strength and dexterity saves probably have advantage. If people try to get through your hide, they'll find your skin is just as tough, with an AC of 16-17, damage resistance, almost 200 HP, and plenty of ways to heal yourself.

Cons:

If you can't catch up to a person, your range means you're screwed. Your best weapons are all melee range, and you'll just end up chasing them around like a fool. (Technically you can just... pick up a bow and use it, you're a fighter after all, but we're playing to character.)

Despite your save shenanigans, your low charisma means you still might end up getting shunted to another dimension. That would explain how you got to the lostbelt, though....

We spent a whole feat and fighting style on those superiority dice, and to be honest they're probably not worth the effort. Bumping up your strength and picking up the Mariner style would be just as useful, if less customizable.

[jackies-wearing-khakis]

Marriage and Murder Pt. 1 (Shelby!Reader)

a/n: I'm a bit disappointed I had to post this in two parts, but alas, the original one-shot was too long for Tumblr.

summary: Things get progressively darker as you try to survive Tommy and Grace's wedding night.

words: 3101

warnings: Themes of drinking and sexual assault.

 "(y/n), for fuck's sake, hurry up!" Polly shouted from the betting room. She, Ada, Finn, John, and Esme were dressed in formal clothes, waiting for you to get ready.

  "Five minutes, Pol!" you called from your bedroom.

  "I swear to God," your aunt said under her breath as she checked her watch. "It's her own brother's wedding and she's decided to take her sweet time."

  "What's taking her so long anyway?" Finn asked, bored to death.

  "She probably looks ugly as hell and can't stand to face it," John whispered, earning a chuckle from Finn and a smack to the back of the head from Ada. 

  "I don't care 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 she's doing, if that girl's not down here soon we're leaving without her." Polly huffed.

  What Polly and the others didn't understand was that you were by 𝘯𝘰 means taking your sweet time. If anything, you were practically tripping over yourself to try and find a dress to wear to Tommy and Grace's wedding. You'd accidentally ripped the dress you were supposed to wear the night before when you'd gotten your arm stuck in one of the sleeves. Now, you were caught between a rock and a hard place; go downstairs and face humiliation, or stay in your room and face Polly. You could tell today was going to be stressful.

  You were legitimately considering cutting off the sleeves of your dress entirely when Polly came bursting into the room without warning.

  "Pol, wait!" you shouted, instinctively holding your arms in front of your head for self-defense.

  "I don't give a shit if you're ready or not, we're going," Polly growled. She grabbed your arm, unknowingly pulling at the rip in your dress. With one strong yank, your aunt had doubled the size of the tear. The two of you froze in shock at the damaged material.

  "𝘑𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘴, (y/n)," Polly muttered.

  "I know, it's awful." you sighed.

  As you stood there, Finn peeked his head into your room. Immediately, he saw your dress and gasped.

  "𝘏𝘰𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵, (y/n)." Finn chuckled. "What the hell did you do?"

  "Go away!" you shouted angrily. You grabbed one of your shoes and chucked it at your brother, hitting him in the shoulder. He stumbled out of the room laughing.

  You threw yourself face-first onto your bed in utter despair, sighing dramatically.

  "Oh, Pol, this'll be the death of me," you whined, your voice muffled by the covers. Your aunt rolled her eyes as she lit a cigarette.

  "Stop feeling sorry for yourself," Polly spoke. "We'll figure something out."

  It wasn't long before Ada and Esme had made their way upstairs and into your room. The four of you sat in silence, quietly brainstorming. Suddenly, Esme stood up.

  "I've got a dress that might work," she said, and immediately rushed to go fetch it. Your face lit up, and you excitedly hopped off your bed to go with your sister-in-law. Ada and Polly exchanged glances.

  You followed Esme into her and John's old room, where she was digging through her closet.

  "Now, (y/n), you're a bit smaller than I am, so hopefully this won't look too awkward on you," Esme said, tossing clothes in every direction.      

  "Now, if only I could find the damn thing."

  "What's it look like?" you asked.

  "See for yourself," Esme responded, pulling out a green shapeless dress with beaded lace embroidery.

  You gawked at the beauty of the thing; it was an excellent balance of elegance and youth. Not too modest, not too sexy; it was superbly tasteful.

 "Oh my God, Esme, it's perfect." you breathed. 

  "Hurry up and try it on!" she urged, pushing the dress into your arms. With that, she rushed out of her room.

  To your relief, the dress fit perfectly. You barely had any time to show it off to the others before Polly had rushed everyone out of the house and into the cramped car, practically dragging you all by the wrists. 

  The five of you slipped into the chapel quietly as you could. Tommy gave you all dirty looks as you scooted into the pews one by one. 

  "Where the fuck've you been?" Arthur whispered to Polly as she sat down next to him.

  "There was a complication," Polly answered. "Nothing worth worrying about now."

  "Complication my arse. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 one took forever to get changed." John scoffed, pointing his thumb towards you.

  "It wasn't my fault, the dress ripped!" you whined. 

  "It was 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 your fault, (y/n)," Finn added smugly.

  "I swear to God if you three don't 𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵 𝘶𝘱 I'll drag you all home by the ears." Polly threatened under her breath. Nobody had anything to say about your dress after that.

  John grumbled as Grace entered the chapel.

  "Here come the fucking cavalry, late as usual." he griped.

  "I don't get it, why's everyone hate them?" you asked in a whisper.

  "Well, first of all, they weren't supposed to wear their uniforms. Just goes to show they're disrespectful bastards." John whispered back.

  "𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺? That's all it is?" you questioned.

  John sighed as he tried to find the right words for the situation.

  "Listen, (y/n), just stay away from them. Half those men are self-righteous pricks who'll take advantage of you if you give 'em the chance," he warned.

 "Hush." Esme chimed in, squeezing John's hand. "They're exchanging vows."

  Your gaze turned to the men in red uniform as Tommy and Grace stood at the altar. You accidentally locked eyes with a boy who couldn't have been older than twenty. Not sure what to do, you smiled politely at him. To your surprise, he smiled back.

   Your exchange was cut off by the sound of Jeremiah Jesus's voice filling the room.

  "I now pronounce you man and wife." he declared, and everyone in the chapel applauded as Tommy and Grace shared a kiss. You couldn't help but feel a pang of pride as you watched your brother smile at his new wife. There was something magical about the way he was able to just 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘹 in her presence, especially since you couldn't think of another day Tommy wasn't trying to take over Birmingham.

  𝘖𝘩, 𝘛𝘰𝘮, you thought wistfully, 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦?

   Unfortunately, the warmth of the wedding ceremony quickly faded as everyone gathered outside for the family photo. Nearly ten minutes went by as the Shelby clan struggled to organize themselves into a tight group.

   You initially tried to stand behind Polly and Arthur to be near the other women, but that plan quickly failed when you realized you were too short to stand behind either of them. It was a tremendous effort to try to force yourself in between them, and the result left you in a painfully awkward position where you were left standing sideways. The ultimate solution was to have you stand with John's children; you were mortified.

  "Christ, I look like a 𝘬𝘪𝘥," you whined, showing the picture to Finn. The two of you sat together at the base of the stairs in Tommy's house, trying your best to avoid the crowds of people wandering the halls..

  "It's not that big a deal," he said plainly, taking the picture in his hands. "Nobody really cares."

  "It's a big deal to me." you mumbled.

   You could see John and Arthur approaching from a distance. By the looks of it, they'd already gotten their hands on some champagne.

  "Finn. Tommy wants a meeting in the kitchen." Arthur spoke as he passed by.

  "I should probably go with him." Finn sighed as he stood up.

  "Wait, take me with you!" you pleaded, grabbing onto his arm. "I've got nobody else to talk to."

  Finn quickly leaned over the stairs to check if Arthur and John had gone. Once he saw the coast was clear, he turned back to you.

  "Fine. But you shouldn't say anything," he advised.

  "Wasn't planning on it."

  You and Finn had assumed the meeting would be family only, but as you snuck your way into the kitchen you were surprised to find a swarm of Blinders men crowding the room. You instinctively stuck close to your brother, trying your best to avoid bumping into anyone. The two of you slowly hovered towards the center of the room, where the immediate family gathered. There Tommy stood in the midst of it all with a cigar in his hands. 

   "Right. Today is my wedding day." he began, and the room fell silent.

   "Yeah, and you said there'd be no uniforms, Tom." John interrupted, and a few people murmured in agreement.

  "In spite of there being bad blood, I'll have none of it on my carpet." Tommy continued, ignoring John's comment. "For Grace's sake, nothing will go wrong today."

   Tommy began circling the room as he spoke, making sure to lock eyes with every man present.

  "And if any of you fuckers do 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 to embarrass her, kin, cousins, your kids, your horses, 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.."

  Just as he was about to finish his sentence, Tommy noticed you standing there next to Finn. He froze for a moment, then furrowed his brows. You cursed under your breath.

  "What are you doing here?" Tommy asked, but it felt more like an accusation.

   You realized every man in the room had their eyes on you. You shifted uncomfortably.

  "It's a family meeting, isn't it?" you grumbled. "Last I checked I was a Shelby."

   Tommy sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes in annoyance.

  "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵? I'm glad you're here because there's something I should say." he began. You crossed your arms defensively.

  "You've been wild these past few months, (y/n), don't think I haven't noticed."

  "So?" you scoffed.

  "𝘚𝘰, I won't have any of it tonight. I swear, if I find out you've been drinking, flirting, or doing 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨  that might damage this family's reputation, I assure you that you'll live to regret it. 𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥?"

  You didn't know how to feel about Tommy's words. In a way, he was right; you'd been drinking more than usual as of late, not to mention fooling around with some of the boys you were going to school with. You didn't understand why that was such a big deal though, especially since you were a saint compared to your brothers. Really, the whole thing seemed unfair.

  "Yeah, I understand." you finally answered. "I'll just spend the night boring myself to death while you boys do whatever you want." 

  "That's the spirit." he shot back.

  "Tommy, what about snow?" Isiah asked from across the room. You silently thanked him for taking the attention off you.

  "There'll be no cocaine," Tommy answered sternly. A few men in the room sighed.

  Tommy took the opportunity to get back to his speech.

  "No sport. No racing. No sucking the petrol out of their cars. You give them 𝘯𝘰 excuses to look down their noses."

  The room was uneasy. Nobody was sure what to think as Tommy stood there, almost desperately trying to talk sense into his men.

  "But the main thing is, you fuckers.." he began.

  "Why are you mad at 𝘶𝘴, Tom?" Finn mumbled.

  "..in spite of provocation from the cavalry.."

  Tommy walked along the line of men standing around him, getting close to Arthur, then John, then Finn, then finally you.

  "..no fighting. 𝘕𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨!" 

  And with that, everyone was sent out of the kitchen.

  The party started slow, and you found yourself wandering around the house aimlessly with nothing to do. Everywhere you went people were already drinking, and a part of you wanted nothing more than to join them. The other, more sensible part remembered Tommy's warning and decided to avoid alcohol for the night. As much as you wanted to piss him off and indulge yourself, you knew getting drunk would only prove that you were irresponsible. 

  Dinner in the great hall was an absolute disaster. You sat between Finn and Ada, who were both caught up in their own conversations. You were starving, and Tommy and Grace had been taking a suspiciously long amount of time to get ready. Even after they'd finally come downstairs, Arthur had to get through his speech before anyone could eat.

  "Now, I'm not one for speeches." Arthur began. The poor man looked like a deer trapped in headlights.

  "Sing then!" John shouted. Esme grabbed his arm wearily.

  "I've got a speech written down here. but it's not everything I want to say." Arthur droned on. You buried your head in your hands.

  "Arthur, just read what we've written down," Tommy said softly.

  "I will, Tom. But first, a few words from the heart." 

  Arthur gently placed the small piece of paper into one of his pockets, then cleared his throat.

   "𝘍𝘶𝘤𝘬." Tommy breathed.

   "I'd just like to say that my brother helped me survive hard times. Trouble in my head.."

  As Arthur gave his speech, you noticed Polly staring at a man who sat opposite her. He was older than she was and wore a dark suit that matched his serious expression.

  "Who's that?" You leaned over and whispered to Ada.

  "Kaledin something," she whispered back. "Don't bother talking politics with him, I've already tried."

  Unlike Ada, you weren't interested in having political debates with strangers. Still, there was an air of mystery surrounding the man. Something about him made it impossible to look away, even when he met your eyes with his. You felt a shiver run down your spine.

  Arthur's trainwreck of a speech was eventually cut short by Tommy. You felt bad for your eldest brother, but you were desperate to eat. Polly gave you a disapproving look as you scarfed down your food, but you didn't care; you were too hungry to act like a lady.

  An hour had passed since the food was served, and by then everyone had made their way into the ballroom.

  John and Arthur had set up a boxing area outside with Tommy's reluctant permission. After hovering around Polly for nearly half an hour, you finally gave in and went outside to watch the fights.  

  You were used to seeing your brothers fight, so not much could faze you in the boxing ring. Tonight was different, though. The men had such anger in them as they landed their punches. It was almost disturbing to watch Finn get knocked into the ground by a man in a red uniform.

  "Gruesome, isn't it?" A voice asked from behind you. You turned around to face the very same cavalry boy you'd locked eyes within the chapel. Only now, he was standing a mere foot away from you and the two of you were practically alone.

   "William. Fraser." the young man said, extending his hand.

  You took his hand in yours and shook it. The dim light from the boxing ring illuminated your faces, and you were able to get good looks at each other. To your excitement, not only was he young, he was 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦.

  "(y/n). Lee." you introduced yourself, lying through your teeth. You were done being a Shelby today.

  "Mm. I thought you were a gypsy." William spoke. You raised your eyebrows in amusement.

  "Really? How could you tell?" you asked.

 "It's the dress. Very... 𝘣𝘰𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘢𝘯," he replied.

 "It was a gift, it's not mine," you assured, flattening the dress out. You suddenly felt a pang of self-consciousness.

  "Oh, well it suits you well enough." And with that, William placed his hand on your waist. 

   "What are you doing?" you asked, chuckling nervously. 

  "Enjoying myself."

  He slowly started to pull you into a kiss when you noticed Finn in the boxing ring. Another one of the cavalry boys had landed a particularly heavy blow onto his gut, and he fell onto the ground in defeat. You pushed William away to watch the scene.

  "You know him?" William asked.

  "He's my brother," you responded quietly, not taking eyes off Finn.

  "He fights well enough for a boy his size, I didn't expect him to last as long as he did." William retorted.

  "He's really good, actually. Likes it a lot, too," you said, relaxing as you saw Finn get up and shake his opponent's hand.

  William took the opportunity to pick up where you left off and started to wrap his arms around your waist. You hesitated and stepped back.

  "Wait, we shouldn't. Not in front of them." you gestured towards the crowds of people who were watching the fights.

  "Good point." the young man hummed into your neck.

  You lead William to a fairly secluded area of the gardens. There was a small, wooden bench that was nestled in between some of the bushes that lined the back wall of Tommy's mansion. The two of you sat together; there was an uncomfortable sexual tension between you.

  William kissed you slowly as his hands wandered around your torso. You kept trying to cut him off, but he was persistent. If you would grab his arm, he would use the other one to pull you closer. If you turned away, he would kiss your neck. 

  "William I don't think we should do this," you whispered.

  "Don't worry, love. nobody's around. You won't get in trouble." he assured.

  "𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, just stop." you pleaded.

  "Relax, I promise I'll make it worth your while.

  With that, you'd had enough. You started smacking your palm against his shoulder, and he finally separated. 

  "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵? I thought you wanted this!" William snapped.

  "Why didn't you stop?" you asked him with a hurt look on your face. "I was 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 you to stop!"

   "𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯, don't act like you didn't want it. You took me out here for a reason." he countered.

  "I didn't think it would happen so fast!" you shouted.

 William huffed, stood up, then brushed himself off.

  "𝘎𝘺𝘱𝘴𝘺 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩." he spat, then walked away.

  "What the 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 did you call me?" you shot back. "Do you even know who the 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 I am?"

   William froze in place and turned around. He gave you a dark look as he lit a cigarette. The red glow of the tiny embers illuminated his face.

  "My name is (y/n) 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 Shelby." you hissed, and William's expression changed. 

  "You're related to the groom?" he realized.

  "I'm his sister," you spat.

  The young man sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. 

  "𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘵.. I had no idea. Let me make it up to you." he began, but you were already leaving.

  "𝘍𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶." you scoffed as you passed him. 

You made your way back to the ballroom, leaving William standing there alone.

 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, you thought, heading straight for a bottle of wine.

[linskywords]

Hi! Do you know of any guides on how to write hockey? I know the best way is to just settle in and watch a few games and read a few fics, but I'm sort of on crunch time because of a holiday exchange and this'll be the first time I write about ANY sort of sports. XD;; Dunno if this is useful info, but it's an AU with non-RPF characters. (saw your recent meta post on RPF fiction, very well-thought out!)

What a fun question! Though I suppose less fun under a deadline (good luck!!). Unfortunately, I don’t know of any guides already in existence -- though if anyone reading this does, please pass them along. In the absence of that, here are some thoughts off the top of my head. (This is about hockey; I’m not sure what you mean by an AU with non-RPF characters, so if you’re not writing in a hockey setting, this will probably not be helpful to you. But if you’re not writing in a hockey setting, you’re in luck, because you don’t need to know any of this!)

Preliminary warning: I am not a hockey expert! I don’t watch a ton of games or read all the stats, and there are people out there who know way more than me. As recently as this year I’ve made some pretty major errors in stuff I should already have known about. So take my advice with a grain of salt, but also know that people are there to enjoy the story and won’t mind too much if you screw things up. 😄

The schedule:

The hockey season starts in early October. It goes until early April. Training camp is mid-September, and then there are a few weeks of preseason games before the season starts, where everyone doesn’t play every game; the teams are trying to get a look at prospects and see how players gel, and longtime vets may not play. Prospect camp or development camp is July-ish, but you don’t go to that if you’re a returning player.

Players don’t really get a break during the year except for the All-Star or Olympic breaks, if they happen. In the last year or two (I think?) each team has started getting one bye week of five days off per year. This year it looks like they’re all overlapping with the All-Star break, which sucks for the players chosen for that game. Other than that they might get a day off at a time but not usually much more than that -- maybe a few days at Christmas, depending on the game schedule.

There’s a game roughly every other day, but it’s not quite as regular as that. I usually write with the Wikipedia or hockey-reference.com page open for that team’s season. I tend to assume the team has practice or some kind of skate pretty much every day, which may or may not be accurate for any given team. There’s also media stuff and team events, so true days off are rare.

Players take naps in the afternoon before a game. It's an important sports performance thing.

Half the games will be at home and half will be on the road. I believe (someone correct me if I’m wrong) teams are required by their CBA (Collective Bargaining Agreement) with the NHLPA (Players Association) to return the players as quickly as possible, so at the end of a road trip they’ll usually fly home that night right after the game.

Sometimes road trips are pretty long, like if they’re going to play a bunch of teams far away. Some teams have an annual long road trip when some other group is using their home arena (e.g. the Blackhawks usually have a circus trip in November). They fly on private flights and will take a bus to and from the hotel and the rink.

Playoffs start a few days after the regular season wraps up. 16 teams qualify, based on their number of wins (2 points per win, 1 point per overtime loss, 0 points per loss in regulation). Non-qualifying teams are usually mathematically eliminated in late March or early April, depending on how badly they’ve done that year. There are four rounds of playoffs: two rounds within their conference, then conference finals, then Stanley Cup finals. Each round is the best of seven games and stops after one team has won four.

Teams play other teams in their division most often, then teams within the other division in their conference, then teams in the other conference. Divisions and conferences are organized geographically, so this makes sense for ease of travel.

In the off-season, players rest up, train, see the people they don’t get to during the year, and play a lot of golf (they’re jocks, but they’re prohibited from playing dangerous sports by the terms of their contracts, so golf is one of their few refuges). Sometimes they’ll try to bulk up because it’s hard to keep weight on during the season. They usually take at least something of a break from training right when the season ends, and they won’t start skating again until partway through the summer. A lot of them go to special training camps or work with professional trainers.

Worlds happens during the Stanley Cup playoffs, so players who aren’t in the playoffs, or who get knocked out early, will go represent their countries. Junior Worlds is around Christmastime. There’s sometimes a World Cup of Hockey, which is in theory every four years but has been irregular. It happened in 2016, but the 2020 tournament was cancelled. When it does happen, it’s in September, just prior to the start of the season.

The game:

If a player earns a point, that means they’ve gotten a goal or an assist. An assist is when they passed to someone who scored (a primary assist) or passed to someone who passed to someone who scored (a secondary assist). Goals are better than assists but both are good, and both are worth a point in terms of player stats.

A point per game average is very good. If a player’s at a point per game, he’ll be very happy. Your top players probably do a little better than that. Of course, this is an average; it’s very rare to score in every game, and players have point streaks and also stretches where they’re held scoreless. There’s a LOT of randomness in hockey.

Shots on goal is another good stat: how many times did a player have a scoring opportunity where the goalie denied him?

You get three forwards, two D-men (defensemen), and one goalie on the ice at a given time. The forwards are organized into four lines of three: one winger on each side and a forward. The D-men are organized into three D-pairings. Defensemen will usually play for more minutes per game than forwards because of this. Your top line (of forwards) will play close to or just over 20 minutes per game. Your bottom line might play more like 10. The top D-pairing might be more like 25 minutes or even higher.

Play starts with a faceoff, where one forward, usually the center, faces off against a forward from the opposing team. The ref drops the puck, and the two players in the faceoff both try to knock it back toward their own players. The one who succeeds wins the faceoff. Sometimes a player will move toward the puck before it's legal to do so, and the ref will throw them out of the playoff circle and one of the other forwards will have to take the faceoff.

There are a bunch of penalties you can get for stuff like illegal checks, high sticking, holding, tripping, hooking, delay of game (e.g. if the ref thinks you deliberately knocked the puck out of play). If you commit a penalty, you go into the penalty box and your team is on the penalty kill for two minutes, meaning they’re down a player. The other team is on the power play. If the team on the power play scores, the power play is over and the offending player is released from the penalty box early. If the team on the penalty kill scores, it’s called a shorthanded goal, and the power play continues. How often a team scores on the power play is a stat people talk about -- sometimes teams have stretches where their power play is terrible, and they never manage to convert (score).

The two-minute penalties mentioned above are called minor penalties. You can get a five-minute major for fighting, or you can get thrown out of the game or suspended for multiple games for really bad stuff.

There are three main parts of a hockey rink (there are probably technically more, but eh): each team's offensive zone, where the opposing goal is located, and the neutral zone between them. You can't take the puck into the offensive zone if there's another player from your team already there; if you do, it's offsides, and there's a stoppage of play and a faceoff in the neutral zone. That means you can't pass to someone deep in the offensive zone. Because of that, sometimes when players enter they dump the puck, meaning they shoot it deep into the offensive zone even though there’s no one there to receive it. They might do this if they need to buy a little bit of time for a shift change.

They might also try to buy time for a shift change by shooting the puck deep into the offensive zone from behind the center line, but it will not work, because this is called icing, and results in a stoppage of play. The team responsible is NOT allowed to have a shift change, and there's a faceoff in their own defensive zone. You can get some really long shifts from this. (The exception is when you're on the penalty kill, when you are allowed to ice the puck.)

Shifts are usually about a minute long. When players aren't playing, they're on the bench. When it's their turn to play, they go over the boards.

If a player gets the puck and has no members of the opposing team between him and the goal, it's called a breakaway. 

If two players have the puck and are facing one opposie in the offensive zone, it's called a two-on-one.

There are three twenty-minute periods divided by two fifteen-minute intermissions. If at the end of the game, play is tied, they go directly to one five-minute overtime period, which for the past few years has been three-on-three (three players plus a goalie, usually two forwards and a D-man) and is very exciting. If no one scores in overtime they go to a shootout, where the players take turns shooting on the opposing goalies. Overtime rules are different in playoffs, where I believe they keep playing regular twenty-minute periods until someone scores.

If one team is down by a lot at the end of the third period, they'll often pull the goalie so they can have another forward on the ice without going over their six-player limit. If the other team scores while there's no goalie, it's called an empty-netter.

Players wear a ton of pads but still get a lot of bruising. Which can be fun for writers. 😆

The team and the players:

There are up to twenty-three players on a team at a time. Twenty can dress for a given game, which includes the goalie and the backup goalie.

There's usually a captain and two or three assistant captains (A's). They have general leadership responsibilities among the players. The captain wears a C on his jersey and the A's wear an A.

If a player gets injured, he might be put on IR and someone would get called up in his place from the minors (the AHL, or American Hockey League). There's been a particular focus on concussions in recent years, since a lot of players have had major problems with them. There's a concussion protocol players have to go through if one is suspected. Players still, unfortunately, lie about their symptoms to try to play through concussions sometimes.

There's a cap to how much salary a team can pay out to its players in a year. This can get very complicated so I'm not even going to try.

When players are first signed, they go on a three-year ELC (entry-level contract) which is capped at I want to say $895K per year, but I don't think that includes bonuses. Again, this is complicated stuff and I'm not even going to attempt the details. Players on ELCs aren't guaranteed their own hotel rooms, so you get road roommates. Good times for us fic writers! After their ELC runs out, they’ll negotiate a more lucrative contract with their team; there are also some limited ways in which they can choose to go to a different team. Later in their career they’ll become free agents and can choose which team to sign with.

Players get drafted at 18 or so, or older in rare circumstances. Draft picks are determined by a lottery that's weighted by how badly your team did this year. Again, you can look up the math on this -- it's a limited number of teams that have a shot at a first overall pick. The draft happens in a bunch of rounds where each team gets a pick, but sometimes teams trade their picks in advance as part of complicated trade deals. The first round of the draft is televised and the players go up onstage and shake their new GM's hand and get a jersey.

Players often come up through Major Juniors, which is the CHL (Canadian Hockey League, though a lot of the teams are in the U.S.). The CHL has different divisions: the OHL, the WHL, and the QMJHL. Players get paid and are considered professional, so they become ineligible for top-tier college hockey in the U.S. There are scholarships offered to CHL players at Canadian universities; I don't know the details of that. While they're playing Juniors they often live far away from their families with billet (host) families. Junior teams are limited in how many players they can have who are over 18.

Other places players might come from: American colleges; private prep schools or even public school systems; the U.S. NTDP (National Team Development Program); or many places overseas.

Most draftees don’t start playing for their NHL team right away, if they ever do. They might stay in Juniors for a year or two, or play for the A (the AHL) once they’re old enough, or go to college first.

NHL players in their rookie year often billet with an older player or sometimes even front office staff. Partly this is because they don’t want to invest in long-term housing until they get their housing letter, which is the team saying that they plan to keep them around. Partly it’s because they’re only technically not children anymore.

Players will each have an agent who negotiates contracts and does other stuff for them.

The teams each have a head coach and a bunch of other coaches, a lot of them specialized. I don't have a lot of detail about this. There's also a front-office staff, headed by a General Manager, who reports to the owner(s). The GM makes staffing decisions as well as draft and trade decisions.

Teams usually have an official arena where they play home games and their front office has their actual offices, and they’ll also have a practice facility which may be theirs or may be something local that they rent.

There are a bunch of awards players can get: the Art Ross for the most points in a season; the Hart for MVP; the Conn-Smythe for MVP of the playoffs; the Calder for best rookie. (There are a bunch more that you can look up.) These are given out at the NHL Awards in June. And of course what everyone wants to win is the Stanley Cup. If your team wins, you get a specially designed cup ring with your name and number on it (possibly everyone in the front office does, too??), and you get to spend a day with the Cup during that off-season. Players usually throw a big party for all their family and friends.

Other general stuff:

These boys are kind of dumb in general and specifically about emotions. It’s one of my favorite things about writing them, honestly. It also means you can go as bro-y as you want with the language. 

The NHL is pretty deeply homophobic. Its official position is not homophobic, and there's an organization called You Can Play that's fighting to eradicate homophobia, but there are no out players, which speaks for itself. It's pretty much like all major male American sports in that way. The homophobia is something I really enjoy exploring in some of my stories and in other stories just elide entirely if I feel like imagining a better world. You definitely have flexibility there.

Watching is definitely helpful but also I didn’t watch a hockey game until at least two stories in, soooo you can get away with a lot by just reading fic. :)

Reading fic is especially helpful because honestly the stuff I've laid out here doesn't even touch on the details of a particular player's life or a team's traditions and history and dynamics. You can Google some of that, but the prior research done by other fans is going to be so helpful. (Maybe you don’t need to worry about this if you’re not writing RPF characters?)

On the plus side, if you don't know much about how something works, you don't have to go into a lot of detail about it. I've had some stories where I've gone into a bunch of game details and others where you wouldn't even know they played hockey if it weren't for their spending a lot of time changing next to other men. Feel free to stick to the parts you know.

Another thing you'll get from fic, which I'm not even going to go into here, is the plethora of tropes that are popular in hockey fandom. Or fandom in general, of course -- you can always import new tropes, or make them up from whole cloth. AO3 is your oyster.

So that's some info to start with. I'm sure I've forgotten a million useful things that I'll think of as soon as I hit post, and also I'd be shocked if I haven't gotten at least some of this wrong. Please send me corrections and additions, everyone! If I get enough of them, I'll post a new version later in the week.

Also, good luck with your story! I'm sure it will be awesome. 🥰 Like I said, you can fudge SO MUCH OF THIS. Most of us are here for the dumb hockey boys kissing, and we won’t care if they do it after a slightly implausible hockey game.