#if I was ever actually feeling super lonely I could just message someone and have a fun chat and forget about my feelings
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I know a lot of people say the opposite happened for them but I find I am much less tolerant of being alone for prolonged periods of time after quarantine happened. Maybe that’s due to the fact that even before quarantine I was typically alone; and now that I’m moved out of my parents house I actually have opportunities to hang out with people and have used those opportunities often, I now know how it feels to not be alone constantly. It’s nice to not be alone all the time but sometimes I miss the fact I would be able to just do stuff alone more often. Now it feels almost impossible to do things without even the motivation of showing someone what I’ve done
#tbf when I was living with my parents most of my friends were online friends who while I couldn’t spend time with irl#I still had constant access to talking to them and at any given moment at least one of them was online#I think that’s what I miss about having online friends#if I was ever actually feeling super lonely I could just message someone and have a fun chat and forget about my feelings#but now if I’m feeling like that I look at the like. one gc I’m in where half the people don’t really seem to like me#and I’m just like#mmm I’d rather deal with feeling alone#I wanna make more online friends again#but it’s much harder now#child me was so open and friendly (to an almost annoying degree I’m sure)#and adult me#I’m so#blunt and critical and afraid to really goof around with a lot of people#and I think part of that is due to the fact that now that I’m working in the adult world a lot of people are far less tolerant#of those sorts of personalities#so I’ve kinda dulled myself down#and now find it difficult to not be like that
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missing you - “𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫?”
𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: lee minho x f.reader
friends with benefits
↳ it’s only been a week and you need to see him.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.1k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut warning below the cut.
𝐚𝐧: part of my unconnected series called “in the middle of the night” I’m still super in my Minho feels. If you would like to be tagged in any of my taglist please fill out this form.
𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚��𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected intercourse, dirty talk, names such as baby girl
It’s two in the morning and you can’t help but stare at your phone wondering if it would be weird if you call him. You had just got home from a long and exhausting business trip, and you hadn’t seen him in a week. The whole time you were gone you weren’t actually able to talk much because you were so busy. You wanted to call him so badly but you weren’t even sure if he was actually home or not. For all you knew he could be out with the boys. Neither of you were actually good at communicating, but then again you didn’t actually didn’t tend to talk a lot. Most of your time together was spent together naked in bed.
You had started sleeping together six months ago. Both of you were too busy to actually be in a real relationship, but you were both lonely and missed the company of someone in your bed at night. You had been attracted to him long before you started sleeping together. When he jokingly brought up you having sex to release some sexual tension you practically jumped at the opportunity. You quickly learned he knew his way around a woman's body like no other man you had been with before. He had the ability to make you fall apart quickly. He learned to do all the things that turned you on and left you moaning his name.
You decided to cave into your desire and you opened up your text messages and clicked on Minho's name. You sent the ever so cliché “are you up?” text. You knew when you sent that text it wasn’t a friendly text that was meant to start a conversation. That text was meant to only have one outcome.
It took about three minutes before your phone lit up with an incoming call with Minho’s name across the screen.
You answered the phone and smiled, “hello.”
“What are you doing baby girl?” he rasped. His voice sounded like he was half asleep. You could instantly picture him curled up in his bed dressed in nothing but his underwear.
“I couldn’t sleep and I miss you,” you emphasized that you missed him. You didn’t just miss his body, you also missed talking to him and spending time with him. Even though you weren’t fully sure what was going on between the two of you, you missed his company.
“Baby I miss you too,” you couldn’t help but smile at all his sweet pet names he was calling you. You sat up in bed and wondered if you should just invite him over.
“Did you want to come over?” You drew out your words.
He was silent for a moment and took a slow breath, “I’ll be over in ten minutes.”
“Okay.”
You hung up your phone and crawled out of bed. Walking off into the bathroom you brushed your teeth. You tried taming your messy hair. You looked in the mirror wondering if maybe you should change into something maybe a little bit sexier than an oversized shirt and a pair of sleep shorts that hugged your soft thighs. You didn’t know why you seemed to be overthinking this. This wasn’t the first time Minho was coming over for a booty call and honestly it wasn’t going to be the last time. You guys have been playing this game for six months now. You don’t need to try and impress him.
There was a soft knock on the front door, you walked over and opened the front door and found Minho standing on the other side of the door. He was wearing a white v-neck and pair of sweatpants that sat low on her hips. Without saying a word, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours for a passionate kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer to your soft body as your lips moved together.
He pulled his lips away from yours and rasped, “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” you reached down and grabbed his hand and laced yours fingers and led him towards your bedroom.
As they entered your bedroom it didn’t take long for both your clothes to quickly come off. You laid in your bed as their lips moved together, you couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. It had only been a week since you had last been in bed together, but you missed each other more than you probably should. His lips moved from your lips down to your jaw leaving a trail of wet kisses and light nips down your neck. You couldn’t help but moan as his lips moved across your skin.
He lined himself up with your entrance and slowly slid into you. His hips moved into you at a slow pace as your hands clawed at his tone back. He groaned your name as his pace started to pick up. There is something about being in bed with Minho that just makes you feel alive. No man has ever made you feel sexier in your life.
“Fuck your pussy is so tight,” he moans with his lips close to your skin. “It feels like your pussy was made for me.”
“Min-“ you feel like you can’t speak. Lost in a haze of pleasure.
“Did you not play with yourself while you were gone baby?” You can’t say anything, you just shake your head. “Did you miss the feeling of my cock stretching you open?” His dirty words are helping push you closer and closer to the edge.
“Oh my- go- god, yes,” you moan.
His pace is quicker now as he’s trying to make you come. He’s hitting just the right part inside you that he knows makes you fall apart every time.
Biting your lip, you held back screaming his name as he pushed you over the edge. A white hot wave washes over you as your wall contracts, milking him, pushing him closer and closer to the edge.
He rolled his hips a few more times before he hit his own high. He moans your name like a sinful prayer. Rolling off you he laid on his back staring at the ceiling trying to catch his breath.
Your naked body was curled up against his and rested your head on his chest, “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too baby.”
Regarding taglist:
If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.
#stray kids#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids fan fiction#Lee know#Lee know x reader#Lee know smut#Lee know insert reader#Lee know imagine#Lee know x you#stray kids fwb#stray kids imagine
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Would you ever consider updating The Imperial (Wedding) March? It's my favorite vaderluke fic🫶
Hi, anon! Thank you for the kind message (there's a couple like it in my inbox)
Short answer is no, probably not. I'm in the US and things are very, very scary right now. Longer ansewr, I have to be in a particular mood for Vaderluke and it just has not been around for... a while! The friend I was bouncing things off of isn't currently doing fandom things, and it just doesn't come together.
That said, look under the Read More cut for the broad strokes of where things were going. I didn't outline smut, but there would be lots of that in between these beats. If anyone wants to pick it up using AO3's Inspired By feature (or just linking to it), go nuts, you have my blessing. You don't even have to stick to what my plan was.
I appreciate how many of y'all enjoyed my little piece of gutter trash. I'll be around so long as I can, just not under this name. <3
When Luke "gave in" he still isn't, really. He's allowing himself to not fight because the only thing he's gaining is pain. He's not furthering the Rebels' cause.
He also is enjoying himself, immensely, but feels super guilty about it for obvious reasons
Turren creeps Luke the hell out. He's obviously coming onto him, but Luke A) has no interest and B) has a murder hobo for a husband so Luke keeps him at arms' length. But he's also very lonely so he doesn't fully turn him away
Someone poisons Luke's food. Turren being around is the only thing that gets med droids there on time. Vader isn't exactly thankful (more rageful that it happened), but it does make the "is Turren allowed in the quarters situation" less murky. He is, begrudgingly
This incident also reminds Vader way too much of his Padme dying nightmares, and he gets somehow more possessive and clingy. He moves Luke into his bedroom, instead of keeping him in that closet.
He's almost, almost nice. Luke keeps catching himself enjoying their time together. And sometimes Vader takes him with him around the ship. It isn't much, but it's better than it was.
Until they end up planetside and Vader does something horrific, reminding Luke exactly who he is
Luke can't exactly pull away, but it reminds him how much danger he's in
At some point, Turren tries to make a move. He loses his patience with Luke fobbing him off and treating him like a "friend". He full on grabs Luke by the hair and starts screaming at him. While Luke could fight him, it's at a bad angle and the most he has time to do is grab Turren's wrist.
Vader happened to be watching the cams or nearby or felt it in the Force and intervenes. With his lightsaber. Which cuts off Turren's hand, most of Luke's hair, and Luke's hand. His left hand. Which is wearing that bracelet. The Force-suppressing bracelet that is the only thing keeping Vader from learning that Luke actually has a shitload of potential.
So now he knows
Luke blacks out from the shock of his hand and also the Force, and wakes up in a cell on Mustafar. His stump has been somewhat treated, enough that he won't bleed out or get an infection, but not much more. He's pretty sure he's going to die now
Also there's the angle on Alderaanian hair braiding traditions. He does not have enough left to do anything with. It's not the most important part of what's happening, but it's a huge piece of his identity stripped away
Vader, meanwhile, is having a full blown crisis. Luke betrayed him again, and this is far, far worse than the "going out alone" thing. He has actual responsibilities related to handling Force sensitives for Sidious
But he doesn't want to
When he finally confronts Luke, Luke has nothing left to lose. So he lets Vader have it re: Empire. About how of course he hid! Any Force sensitive who can does. He goes off on how people are treated and many other terrible things.
The vast majority of it is centered around other people, not Luke himself other than justifying the bracelet thing
This is where things get a little murky. I need somehow for Vader to flip over a short time. Not to "go good," that doesn't happen in this story. But to fully switch allegiance. A large part of that is not wanting to turn Luke over to Sidious, who would froth at the mouth if he knew
He can give his precious little husband what he asks for. But the trade off is that Luke ends up even more enmeshed. It's almost easier, even post-mutiliation, because now Luke is making a difference in the galaxy. His sacrifice is worth it, and it doesn't even feel like a sacrifice
Something something, Vader kills Sidious and declares himself Emperor. Sorry for being scant with the details
The new Emperor is going to remove his mask in front of the galaxy, so that he and his Consort can start the Empire afresh.
Luke gets to see his family before this happens. Vader is already not wearing his mask in the palace, but there has not been an announcement or anything.
Breha and Bail Organa enter to find their son perched happily on Vader's lap. Except now that they see his face, they suddenly know precisely who Vader was and his relation to Luke
And for the sake of both their son and the galaxy, there's nothing they can do about it
fin
#vaderluke#star wars#imperial wedding march#leia is also there in that last scene but she doesn't Know so like#yeah
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💖 Bobby
How likely they are to enter a relationship with them:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
(So, this is angled specifically at the early Krakoan angle we're going at with our Hank and Bobby thread - Hank is . . . honestly, he's on the skids. He's old, he's tired, he feels despondent and lonely, and he is grasping out for any hand to hold that can stop him from going under. Now, more than ever, he needs someone to grab him and keep him from spiralling. Bobby could very easily be that person, if he can recognise Hank's emotional state. BOBBY CAN SAVE TERRA VERDE.)
Would they…
Make the first move? Yes | No (Mm, this version of Hank might, honestly, if he feels that Bobby might be receptive. He is so desperate for comfort and sympathy and someone to want him for him, his emotional control and his rigidity and need to appear proper is so brittle, that he might well leap at the chance to not be alone anymore.)
Say “I love you” first? Yes | No (Hank does love Bobby, as a friend and potentially much more, if he allows himself to feel it. The moment he feels it's safe, that he can say it and the world won't crack asunder, I see it being very liberating to just get to say I love you. To just get to say it, over and over, and know that it's understood.)
Cheat on them? Yes | No (Even if Bobby may be poly, Hank isn't quite wired that way. He would feel like it's cheating, even if Bobby evidently wouldn't.)
Be the jealous type? Yes | No (He's gonna take time to come around to it, and he's gonna struggle with some feelings, honestly. He might surprise himself with how visceral the feeling of 'mine' will be, considering Bobby is kind of his lifeboat here. But he'll get better, and he'll unlearn this tendency, I feel.)
Plan the dates? Yes | No (Gotta plan around the other partners! Hank is nothing if not considerate.)
Initiate the first kiss? Yes | No (Hank craves the emotional validation and affirmation and connection more than the physical in this context, so I could absolutely see him just being stunned when he's allowed to be someone else's, and Bobby might well have to give him a smooch to wake him up. :)
Remember anniversaries? Yes | No (This Hank tends to get a little more maudlin and would want to commemorate these moments more, so he'd go big for the anniversaries.)
BOLD WHAT APPLIES:
Their Relationship Is:
friends to lovers | rivals to lovers | enemies to lovers | still just enemies | mutual pining | star crossed lovers | old married couple | perpetual honeymoon phase | stable and boring | stable but not boring | secret lovers | best friends hiding their feelings | and they were roommates | friends with benefits | coworkers avoiding HR | one-sided affection | weird sexual tension | it’s complicated | toxic relationship | a secret affair | an actual dumpster fire | other
PUBLIC Displays of Affection:
hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips | cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection
PRIVATE Displays of Affection:
hand holding | kiss on the hand | kiss on the cheek | kiss on the forehead | kiss on the lips | cuddling | hugging | affectionate messages or comments | pet names | pictures together | no displays of affection
Do they stay together?
yes, this is endgame | yes but someone is gonna die tragically | something is keeping them apart | they part ways as friends | they part ways as enemies | they’re on-again-off-again | they have a super messy breakup | it was just a fling | other
(I feel like once Hank is back in a solid emotional place and re-centred, he would very much be locked in. That stability and comfort, and the delight of having his best friend be his lover and vice versa, would do him a world of good.)
BONUS
What terrible pet names would they give each other?
Answered here, and I feel like the same applies. :)
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i rly cant stand the mha fandom on twt sometimes. it just sucks so much, you know? after a decade, hori finishes this series with such a heartwarming message and people take it apart to make fun of it, because it's not what they wanted. half of them probably wished deku never moved on from his vigilante era or sth bc god forbid, he doesn't have the strongest power ever.
i'm not saying it's wrong to not agree with the chapter. for example, i do wish deku was an underground hero or sth at the end, because honestly? it would have fit him and i feel like aizawa is the best example that it could have worked. i feel like him not being a hero at all for the time kinda just drives across that quirkless people can't be heroes, which is a load of bs imo. but. but i don't think the ending is bad. i think him being a teacher makes sense too. he'd be a great one.
i also don't like how people take the little things and read into them the wrong way. his classmates obvs didn't forget about him, they probably still kept in contact. like, hori has always been good at depicting a realistic lifestyle despite quirks being a fantasy concept. the school experiences of the kids, the dorms, even the feelings and interactions of the people around all them—they are very much rooted in realism. it makes so much sense, that he would keep that sort of realism in their adulthood too. when you work a full-time job, you don't have as much as time. it sucks but that's how it is. and it's even more difficult to meet up than some people might think. i love my friends, but we go months without seeing eo in person bc we either a) are all super busy with our jobs and can't take off at the same time or b) don't live near enough to constantly afford meeting up. we still communicate online tho, and i'm sure the same goes for deku and the class. i also think sometimes, man, i'm a bit lonely, but not bc i'm truly alone but bc it's been a few weeks since i could afford to meet up with someone. those kind of thoughts and feelings are normal and it's sad that people take deku's so much out of context.
and i guess, it's sad that people can't appreciate how his current situation is cool as well. i think someone who's good at analyzing quirks, planning and strategizing, and has a good set of morals makes a great teacher for heroes as well. plus he's co-workers with his old teacher, don't you think that's kind of funny too?
and like said, the end is beautiful in a sense too, bc we get direct confirmation that all these yrs his class has been trying to get him back to where they thought he'd fit best, to where he wanted to be, a hero. bakugou having such a large involvement in that is also really heartwarming if you consider their relationship at the start.
maybe it's not the best ending for a manga, but it's definitely not the worst. that title will always go to demon sl— (sry, it's not that bad either actually sdfds)
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A secret no one knows about me, it's me. No matter how close I get to someone I can never be me. Because who I am is never enough. How I act, how I talk, how I love, the things that intrest me... it's never enough to make someone stay. Friends or lovers. I have been and always will be a disappointment to everyone I meet. I will leave this world alone. Without a single person to miss me, because they never truly knew me.
i understand this so much lol. it's almost as if i typed this, very close to things i say on the regular.
i'm going to give you some advice that i need to take myself but won't lmfaooo, um so i know it can get incredibly lonely, and idk about you but i have abandonment issues through the roof and it sounds like you might as well. ive found an odd comfort in my own company due to feeling how you described, but again it does get lonely, sometimes you wish you had at least someone to just have to like share things with or just genuinely like you for just who you are and what all comes with you. but there are people that can come around, that won't go and i'm trying to realize that. it's hard when all your life people have literally left. and i'm sure you do have someone that would miss you, my own family don't even know me personally, like no one in it but i know a few that would actually miss me, not many but a count on one hand if that. and tbh that's enough, you don't need a whole lot of people.
there are maybe like a total of 3 people i can say really know me, like the real me. things i like, things that make me cry/sad, my interests, me as an individual. i don't open up to many people ever, because same, the fear of them leaving. but you will find people that will be open to knowing you as a friend/lover. like its possible but you have to shift your mind a bit and also stay true to yourself, don't get too wrapped up when accepting someone in. like i try to give trial runs first, the people i consider "close" i didnt properly open up too until maybe months to years later lmfao literally every year they learn something new about me cause i have problems ofc lmfao. i'm an open book but i'm not an open book, like i won't read my book outloud if you get my drift. but yeah i feel it all starts with you first.
i can definitely relate though, and idk but i feel its a mental health thing. no ome truly knows me and i feel if i was to leave too, no one would truly miss the real me because no one knows who i truly am. so i get it, but try to start with yourself first, find some peace in yourself somewhere. 🧡 sorry this was super long but i hope it helps you some lol alsooo you could always message me, i suck at responding because my own mental health is poor lmfaoo but i will get back to you eventually but yeah take care i'm always here ☺️
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just gonna rapid fire some awful thoughts that would make my brother hit me over the head with a metal bat // just kidding i accidentally started ranting about my bpd
as an aromantic that is desperately clawing at the chance to feel love, i fear i would become a "he know where home at" kinda gal but i think the concept, while horrifying irl, would make such a beautiful literary device
i have been drawing myself for goretober but not posting any of it bc i think it might be a form of self harm and i dont want to face this problem with my therapist yet
me posting art is actually exposure therapy as suggested by my therapist for my bpd because i crave attention in such a bad way that it actively affects my mood and motovation for weeks at a time when i spend so much time on something only to recieve no recognition for it
this honestly would be a non issue if my friends would actually talk to me bc i used to be okay with sharing things with just the two of them but theyre both so busy all the time and they dont really make the effort to talk to me so it is so disheartening that i dont even try to talk to them that much anymore
i want to make new friends bc i got some rly cool mutuals and ive met some rly nice ppl in the mistria server but i fear i am not in the proper headspace to be making new friends and my therapist agrees but it has been so lonely lately
i also have not had an FP in like years which is really good progress but thats also such a long time to be lonely. im a very codependant person. ive spent so much of my younger days attached to people that i really dont know who i am without that but id like to find out.
i think the combination of aromantic and boderline personality disorder is going to end me bc i want to be able to give my entire being to one person so much that it hurts to be away from them and i want them to feel the same way but i cant love them in a way that truly matters and thats just not fair for them. and im not being fair to myself either because im just essentially looking for someone to leech onto, someone to tell me how i should feel, someone to emulate, someone to admire. ive spent so much of my life being other people i dont think ive ever known how to be myself
i cannot feel the calm i feel when im drawing. its becoming such a vicious cycle of drawing to decompress then spending the next few hours stressing when something doesnt do well then drawimg again. lather rinse repeat
anyway! i hate being vulnerable but man does it feel good to throw this all out into the void. its like letting loose a message in a bottle out to sea. so just to balance all that, let me just say some out of pocket stuff since no one is gonna read this far into it.
im a coulro/dacry/hemo-phi11iac.
one time, in the middle of a Hook^ my partner noticed my glasses faintly glew in the dark so she wanted to turn off the lights so i could pretend to be the invisible man from hotel translyvania
this dude was tryna be flirty by speaking french but my native language is super ugly tbh and im not fluent in chamorro or carolinian bc im so disconnected with the other side of my herritage so i just whispered omae wa moe shindeiru in return
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Online Toxic Relationships Suck:
Healing Journal ❤️🩹 10/05/24
It’s hard when you’ve mostly encountered toxic individuals in your past relationships and have been betrayed multiple times. It really impacts your life moving forward.
You mistake all that attention you originally get as “falling in love”. The way that person obsesses over you, texting you sooooo much and sending heart emojis but honestly, they have others they’re messaging in the same manner as you. They’re doing it for attention always. It’s happened to me multiple times. Not just in romantic relationships either, I’ve had online friendships through out the years that pay me so much attention but then can go off the grid for months too and then resurface again like nothing changed. Some of it is due to life situations happening to them or parental matters but also they do this because they pay attention to other friends too and it leaves you questioning their loyalty to you.
Being on the internet, there’s access to talk to someone 24/7. That person can message you all day long and that keeps you from being lonely or having to deal with the real you OR the reality of your life. You can create your own reality with these people online you barely know or see. You look at their photos and videos they post and try to imagine what they’re really like. Often people post just enough to be “mysterious” and I’ve been guilty of this too. People will also portray themselves in light that makes them be able to be someone they want to truly be but are not. TRUST ME, when I say often people are not really who they post themselves to be.
I’ve had those first time messages where you meet someone and see their profile photo. The excitement of “Oh wooooow, he’s totally cute!!!!!!!” And the flutters in your heart. You fear they’re a catfish, so you begin to Google the crap out of them!! This happened when I met my ex “Cody”. Woooow. My initial thought upon seeing his profile picture was, “This is too good to be true. NO WAY THIS HOTTIE IS TALKING TO ME!!!” 😳😳😳
As you begin to talk; it’s easy to say everything because you’re not actually facing them in person. It helped that Cody seemed really supportive at first. It allowed me to really say the things I would never say to him in real life. I shared secrets I never told my own family. That allowed me to feel comfortable, close and trusting with Cody. It built an instant but strong bond. Cody also shared his childhood but if it was true or not, I’ll never know but it was sad to hear it all. I was legit so heartbroken for him!! ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 That deepened the bond so whenever he ultimately ghosted me, I was left feeling confused, stupid and worthless. I felt I wasted my time texting him and yet I loved him so much…. I didn’t even know him though! How did I know if he was honest with me?? Somehow, I felt so bonded to him still. I felt sad for him and close. I missed him so much. For months I thought I was dying cuz I missed him sooooo bad. 😭😭 It hurts more than I even could express. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Not quite 4/5 months later, I met Andrew! We matched on a dating app. I didn’t realize it yet and he found me on Snapchat. I can NOT remember adding him as a friend or our first conversation 😳😳😳 All I remember about Andrew is, he kept flirting me sooo much and saying, “I love you cutie 😘😘😘” and I barely knew his name!!!! 😆 I was looking at all these snaps/selfies he’s sending me and thinking “Idk if he’s cute or not” I was in between feelings plus trying to be over Cody! I didn’t know Andrew. He showed me a pic of his “farm” he lived on and “his cows” 😳 I’m not a nature or animal person. I felt awkward but he was being overly nice to me and flirting!
I don’t remember when or how but over the summer, he would text me almost every morning, “Good morning cutie 😘 How are you?” Wooooow but he wasn’t super open about his personal life with me! Weird! yet after so many days in a row of waking up to his morning text, he became everything to me 😢😭😳 He went from a total stranger to someone I’m suffocating without. When he’s away from me, I’m miserable and starving. Crying and anxious on my bed, wondering if he’s with another girl and I’m wanting to be sick. I became incredibly obsessed with him because of the love bombing initially and the bread crumbs afterwards. Now I’m a prisoner to his social media and stalking his Facebook day and night. I idealize what he’s like and make up scenes in my mind of what our first “meet up” would look like… I saw him standing there with a rose for me in front of his car. I pictured myself hugging him tight and finally kissing him ❤️🩹 of course the constant fantasy of “our first time” hooking up…. Ugh. 😣 He was driving me insane!!!
Yet over time, Andrew would ghost often. Ignoring me for 2 and sometimes 3 days in a row…. During that time I was on his Facebook confused. He posted photos of his fraternity parties he attended and tons of sorority girls were there. I found myself jealous of these girls. I tried to make plans to meet Andrew and he promised me he wanted to meet me yet said, “Now isn’t a good time. My parents are pressuring me to focus on my grades and don’t want me to have a girlfriend right now” 🤨🧐 Yeeeeet, they’re ok with you being in a fraternity????!!!! I KNEW something was not adding up. I just don’t know what it was.
It’s super confusing when a person will text you for over a year, send you heart emojis, call you “babe” and even send you nudes often but then not try to meet you or actually “be with you.” A lot of days Andrew would send me a “hey you 😘” on kik, a “good morning, hru?” On text AND a Snapchat of himself in is bathtub all naked with morning hair and a smile ☠️☠️☠️☠️ daaaaang. Torture!!!!! He obviously just liked the constant attention from me, even if he didn’t “love me” or “want to be with me.” He was the ONLY person I wanted to talk to. I would get messages on kik daily from all kinds of guys and girls. most of them would try to tell me “Andrew doesn’t love you and probably cheating” 😭😭😭 I would get defensive and in denial!! I would try to make excuses for Andrew but I was running out of hope to meet him and be with him. 😢❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Online relationships suck!!!!!!! You can text a person all day and tell them all this personal stuff, never know the real them and they can be also talking to 500 other people too. You won’t even know it and believe you’re special. You’re not special though 😔🥺❤️🩹 They just like the attention and the nudes. They enjoy talking sexy to you! Andrew would send me pics of himself “getting off” to my nudes 😢☠️ but that’s not love or respect. Just because they’re paying you “attention” it doesn’t last. Plus they can take hours to respond and make you feel VERY lonely 😔 you HAVE to kill your fantasy and ideas of this person. You have to accept reality that they’re putting on a persona for you online and they’re not being 100% authentic. Accepting that helps to let them go but it’s still sad. Especially if you felt they were “sooo special” to you. The days I didn’t wake up to a text from Andrew, I would spend the whole day depressed and suffering. That’s not a healthy relationship 😝 Andrew denied breaking up with me 3 times which made it all the more confusing for me when he won’t meet up!!
#toxic relationship#online relationships#Sucks#healing journal#healing journey#healing process#my story#unpacking#emotional abuse#emotional wounds#self awareness#heartbreak#abusive relationships#mental abuse#manipulation#sad post#sad thoughts#self reflection#healingjourney#dear ex#writers on tumblr#soundcloud#tom frane#Save me#SoundCloud
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When someone has a crush on your partner
I've been in this situation in the past, and it stirs up some really tough feelings. Looking back, I have some thoughts I'd like to share related to my own experience. It's a bit of a wall of text, so my advice is at the end if you'd rather skip to that.
The Situation
My partner (A) and I were living together during university. They had made a pretty close friend in their class, B, who was really struggling with being away from home, and general mental health. A and B saw each other every day for class, as well as studying and hanging out, mostly in group settings but sometimes just them. While I would sometimes meet up with them, our schedules didn't really align. My partner loves helping people and feeling needed, so they jumped all in trying to support B, making sure that they were fully available via text and call if B needed to talk about anything. After a few months of this unconditional reassurance and support, B told A that they had developed a crush on them.
Initially I decided to be super chill about it. You can't control who you get a crush on, and it seemed pretty straightforward that nothing was going to come from this. I even spoke to B about it, and kind of laughed it off.
After a few weeks though, I started to realise just how much I was feeling jealous and hurt by the attention that A was continuing to pay to B. B was messaging A with every little thought and concern, seeking continuous reassurance in a way that struck me as more akin to how you might emotionally rely on a partner. On a group trip, B was constantly standing or sitting physically next to A, and I was miserable. Another friend on that trip knew the situation, and reassured me that I wasn't being paranoid, B's behaviour struck them as overt and disrespectful to our relationship.
Throughout all of this, my partner was in denial about B's behaviour. They saw B as one of their best friends, and gladly accepted all of the attention that B was offering along with the gratifying sense of being needed by someone that you can help. When I asked at some point whether B had crossed any lines, A could only think of B leaning on them while they were watching a movie, but A noted that they didn't really do anything besides shift away a little, because it could've just been friendly (Again, full denial).
The final straw was when I found out that B asked A whether, if we ever broke up, A would consider dating B. A told B no, but it cut me so deeply that B, who I was trying so hard to see as a friend despite everything, would so blatantly seek to undermine my relationship and my happiness. There was a big falling out between myself and B. I blamed B for all of my unhappiness that I had been feeling, and accused them of being manipulative and cruel. Simultaneously, A continued trying to maintain their friendship with B. A few months later, B started dating someone else in the group, and basically completely dropped A. This really shook A, as this undermined A's sense of being a super close friend of B, which had been their justification and source of plausible deniability for all of their interactions.
Reflection
I really regret placing all of the blame for my unhappiness on B. Yes their behaviour was selfish, but looking back on that time, I can see how young we all were, and how much we didn't know ourselves yet. We all acted in ways that perpetuated the situation, and we all could've done things differently and avoided a lot of pain.
A clear source of unhappiness for me was that I didn't know how to articulate my need for comfort and support. The jealousy I felt when A was supporting B and not myself was largely self-inflicted, because A had no way to know that I even wanted or needed support. As far as A knew, I was generally doing fine. We fell into the trap of assuming that living together was equivalent to spending actual quality time together, and so I couldn't explain or justify why I felt so lonely and disconnected from A when I was objectively seeing them everyday. I was so concerned with not being the kind of person who stops their partner from hanging out with their friends, that I didn't speak up for myself. Learning to know myself and communicate what I needed to feel comfortable was a process, as was A learning to hear and understand my experience when it didn't match theirs.
It was also entirely within A's control to set boundaries with B, and avoid most of the drama that happened. B told me later that they had assumed that A would tell them if they did anything that crossed a line, and A never did. B took what they were given willingly by A, including encouragement to seek A out whenever B wanted to talk to someone. When I was lying awake seething that B would have the audacity to be messaging A late at night, B had the understanding that this was all totally fine because if it wasn't, wouldn't A say that they could talk some other time instead? I was as much in denial about A's behaviour as A was about B. I've discussed it with A since, and learned that ultimately A enjoyed the attention they were receiving, including the sense that they were so needed by someone. A had been able to frame everything as friendship right until they were replaced by a real relationship. It was only when that attention was removed, when B stopped 'needing' A, that A could look at the situation more objectively.
Advice
If you find that your partner is spending a lot of time with a friend, and then you learn that that friend has a crush on them, here's my advice:
Communicate. Be honest with your partner about how you feel in the situation. Don't try and downplay your feelings, as that can just lead to you making your feelings easily dismissable. After shared interactions with the friend, let your partner know if anything that happened made you feel uncomfortable, including your partner's own behaviour. Work together to see if you can avoid those sources of discomfort in the future.
Set boundaries. Work with your partner on this, because you can't assume that their boundaries are the same as yours. Talk it through, and decide if any behavioural changes would be appropriate. This could look like not always being on call for this friend, and leaving their messages to be replied to later. It may look like not spending time together alone. It doesn't have to be rigid rules, but it can help to share with your partner what makes you uncomfortable, so that you can be clear of what crosses a line for both of you. It sets up your partner for success as they endeavour to respect you and your relationship.
Act with respect. Chances are the friend doesn't actually want to cause any harm. Hold them accountable for any untoward actions if its obviously out of line (like kissing your partner or something) or was explicitly pointed out as crossing a boundary. Otherwise, if they're just trying to stay friendly, try and continue to be friendly in return, and don't be hard on them for crossing lines that they didn't know about.
Consider a break. If the friend is starting to push on your relationship, or you find that you can't handle them being around your partner at the moment, it may be worth suggesting that your partner withdraw from the friendship until the crush abates and the friend's behaviour returns to normal. That could look like your partner becoming less available to spend time with this friend, or stopping initiating messaging. It's a difficult conversation, but ultimately reducing contact can help stop a crush thats been developing based on consistent interactions, and also allows room for the friend to spend time with other people who might be better crush candidates for them.
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8,10,18,21,22 in the pride asks? especially 21 if its not too personal, as someone still in their mid teens any advice would be nice to read. also 26/27 since ur genderfluid, like do u like to switch between different terms or do u use gender netural terms all the time?
hi!! thanks for your questions <3
8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:
i dont wanna use the same answer twice but... im gonna: spin the wheel!! watch where it goes!! where will it stop? who the fuck knows!!
10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans):
singing when i have a cold is fucking gorgeous. my range lowers so much and i can sing all the male musical theatre roles that i usually cant and its just- bloody hell its the best feeling ever!
18. How old where you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with?
so, ive actually never been to pride :( im going to one this year though, and im so excited!! its in july for some reason, but ive got time booked off work, a hotel booked in the city its in (because its like 2 ½ hours away from me) and a couple of outfit choices in the mail waiting to arrive!! so, to answer the q: ill be 19 (my current age anyway aha) and im actually going alone, because i dont have queer friends atm and my cishet friend probably wouldnt be seen dead at pride. my brothers mightve come if they could, but theyre travelling to america a few days before and wont be back for over a week :(
21. What message would you give to your younger self?
to me personally? keep your mouth shut. bide your time, wait until you have better circumstances. keep. your mouth. shut.
to anyone else? dont do that ^ be confident!! as long as its safe to do so, express yourself!! the truth about life is that people will always find faults with you. they will always nitpick, they will always judge. even if you hide yourself to blend in, there will always be something that someone will scour to find. as shitty as that sounds. so be yourself! if people stare, let them! being like everyone else is boring anyway, and although at first it might be lonely or scary, youll find your people <3
22. How do you usually celebrate Pride month?
i like to do it in "subtle" ways. i say subtle because theyre not super obvious, but theyre easy to spot too. i like to paint my nails rainbow and wear rainbow earrings (i recently got rainbow star earrings and theyre so cool!!), and ill usually do more extravagent makeup on fem days, like using coloured eyeliner or putting little stars on my cheeks. and, of course, this year ill be at a pride parade too!
26. How do you feel about the term partner rather than husband/girlfriend/etc?
27. What gender-neutral terms for yourself or others do you use (i.e. joyfriend)?
im gonna answer these two together :) so, i like partner a lot. its simple, but it gets the job done just the same as bf/gf etc. i personally like to switch/mix and match boyfriend and girlfriend as and when it feels right to me. i especially love when someone says "shes my boyfriend/hes my girlfriend" and if i ever come out as genderfluid to my brothers, id want them to introduce me like "shes my brother/hes my sister". of the two mismatched pairings, i prefer the female pronouns and male honorifics, but that might turn out to be a day-dependant thing
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Extended Zodiac and the reasons for my answers. (Warning: Long af)
Lunar Sway
1.Some people on the internet you know are negatively discussing something you hold dear. You could just let it slide, or you could get in there and defend it with your life. How do you respond? D: I jump in and defend the thing, stating why I like it, and why their criticism is wrong. But I won't take it too far. R: Even if I am passionate about my interests it is not worth hurting an other person.
2.You are all set to cook dinner, when you realize you are missing a couple key ingredients from the recipe you're using. What do you do? B: Find a different recipe that you have all the ingredients for. R: No reason doing it if I don't have it all. Plus I am NOT going out or winging it.
3.How do you feel meeting online friends in person for the first time? B: Quite positive. Things are probably going to go fine. R: Super excited but a lingering sense of what if stays in all situations for me.
4.You're having a hard time grasping a topic in a class that everyone else seems to be fine with. You: C: Email the professor or attend their office hours. No point interrupting the class. R: Usually I don't even bother seeking explanation. But if I can convince myself to care I go ask the teacher during lunch.
5.You start taking lessons to learn something you've wanted to for awhile-a language class, art class, bartending lessons, etc-but decide a few weeks in that it definitely isn't your thing. You decide to stick it out, though. Why? B: You spent money and time on this already, you're going to finish it. R: Need I say more?
6.When you're on holiday, do you prefer to leave your itinerary mostly up to chance, or do you plan it out ahead of time? B: You plan out a few key things, but mostly play it by ear. R: By the way the question is formulated I'm guessing they mean a vacation. In that case, Iplan the main things but if something interests me along the way I don't mind a change of plan.
7.A friend of yours and someone you don't know are caught up in a heated argument. They've asked you to help facilitate. You want to support your friend, but after hearing both sides, you actually agree with the stranger. How do you choose who to support? D: You delicately disagree with your friend, while doing everything you can show you still support them. R: I don't want to offend my friend but I can't just lie about how I think in this situation.
8.You have a very important message to write, over email, or some other text communication method. It's a sensitive matter, difficult to compose. Possibly of an emotional or confrontational nature. When you're done writing, you're about to hit the SEND button. What next? B: Not just yet. You give it one more read, maybe change a couple things, then send away. R: I've already thought about it while writting. The re-read is to make sure I did not make any gramatical mistakes and maybe rephrase somethings.
PROSPIT
Aspect
1.Think about your life as if it's a story, and you're the main protagonist. Do you tend to view yourself as lone hero, who along the way meets other supporting characters, who only have a tangential relation to your personal journey? Or do you view yourself as just one hero in an ever-shifting ensemble of important protagonists? C: Either one. Can't say for sure. R: Depends on the times. Sometimes I hang with people some other I'm by myself.
2.When you want to help people accomplish something, and they don't know what they're doing, are you inclined to show them how to do it? Or are you inclined to make them feel motivated or inspired to do it? B: Lean toward showing them. R:I show how and add encouragements here and there.
3.When you are learning about a new subject, or reading a fascinating story, do you feel a strong desire to know everything about it, and have all your questions answered? Or are you more compelled or inspired by the feelings of mystery surrounding not knowing everything? B: I'm very curious, drawn toward knowing. R: I want to know all I can but won't lose my mind for it. Plus, my interests change pretty often. shrug
4.When you hear someone explaining something to someone else, in a way that is questionable, or in a way that makes you suspect they don't fully understand the subject they are explaining, are you more inclined to: teach them everything you know about the subject, to set the record straight? Or just cast doubt on the misinformation, without offering much in the way of correction? C: I'd probably stay out of it. R: The way they phrase it they mean strangers and I don't talk to strangers unless I have to.
5.If you could choose one ability, which would it be? The ability to travel to any period in history on Earth at will, past or future? Or the ability to safely travel (such as, on a nice ship) anywhere in the universe at will, instantly? C: Too hard to choose. R: Both are so cool! How am I supposed to pick only one??
6.If you are working on a project (something you're doing for yourself, not for anyone else), are you obsessively focused on the end result of the project? Or are you enjoying the process, regardless of how it turns out? C: Result and process about equally important. R: Iwant it to look good but if the process is too difficult it sucks.
7.Which option best describes what's more important to you? Understanding yourself, and fully knowing who you are? Or thinking rationally, and making strong decisions? B: Leaning toward understanding myself. R: Knowing myself means making the best decisions for me. Clear headed thought process is important.
8.What idea is more interesting to you? The ability to fully understand your potential as a person? Or the ability to fully understand all potential consequences of your actions before taking them? C: Both equally desirable. R:Hello? Both are important and affect one an other.
9.Which better describes your attitude? Having great conviction in certain beliefs or ideas you're attracted to? Or casting strong doubt on beliefs or ideas you dislike? B: A little more attracted to having conviction in beliefs I like. R:I prefer to speak about things I believe in but I have strong opinions on what I dislike. I just don't tend to speak up on the things I have a negative feeling on brcause it's safer that way.
10.When circumstances are intolerably bad, which are you more inclined to do? Come up with the best alternatives or solutions, and work as hard as you can to make those happen instead? Or don't worry about a better alternative, burn it all down, and whatever follows, you'll just deal with it as it comes? B: Inclined to have a solution first, but not absolutely. R: I want to make it work out but if I feel pushed into a corner I want the f out.
11.If you see someone suffering, are you most inclined to do whatever you can to help them get better? Or is your instinct to relate to their suffering, to empathize, without necessarily considering how you can help? B: I'll focus mostly on helping, but won't be able to stop myself from relating to the problem somewhat. R: Based on my reaction to recent events. I helped first with some empathy here and there.
12.When someone suffers misfortune so terrible that you know there is nothing anyone can do for them, are you most inclined to: feel horrible that nothing can be done? Or feel resigned to the sense that this is the way of the world, and some things just can't be helped? D: Likely would feel somewhat resigned right away. Might briefly consider how to help, but… no. It's not realistic. R: It's awful but you can't save them all and putting yourself at risk ends with double the shittyness.
HOPE
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hey, i really liked your message to OP about feeling lonely, and i feel the same way i'm a really touchy feely person and my partner is not at all! i'm genuinely feeling so loved emotionally but touched deprived completely, i got a hug at church and i almost teared up bc i realised i haven't been hugged in so long, i didn't feel loved but i just felt warmth, however my partner feels that it's a boundary and a measure of his bodily autonomy, are we just not meant to be?
Thanks! I'm glad it resonated with you.
Whether or not this is a deal-breaker for your relationship really depends on you and on your partner. Could you go your entire life without ever getting that kind of physical intimacy again? Is there a way you could experience some sort of platonic physical intimacy that doesn't involve your partner, but that satiates that need for touch (like taking up ballroom dancing, regularly going for massages/to get your nails done, cuddling with friends, hugging people at church)? Would that be enough for you? Are there ways of being physically intimate that your partner is comfortable with, or could become comfortable with for you (holding hands, cuddling, massage)? Is it that your partner doesn't like being touched at all, or is it that your partner doesn't like being touched when he's not expecting it/when someone else is initiating it?
Relationships work in all kinds of ways, and they're always negotiations. Like I was talking about in my previous post, I think people (mostly online lately) have gotten this idea that a romantic partner is someone who will never ask us to be uncomfortable, to push our boundaries, to sacrifice for them, to compromise- that they should be perfectly accommodating of everything we want and whatever way we act all the time. As much as that sounds like it would be nice, it prevents people from growing and changing, and in interpersonal relationships, there will always be a need for conflict and compromise. I don't think there's a soulmate out there who is looking for exactly the person I am right at this second, who loves all of the same things I do, and who will always want exactly what I want at any given time. And if there is someone out there like that, I think it's more likely that they're sublimating all of their actual desires instead of just magically always wanting what I want. There's always a need for compromise. Sometimes those compromises are small, like what to have for dinner. Sometimes they're big, like where to live or how to spend money. But there are always compromises.
But the fact that there are always compromises doesn't mean that everything has to be a compromise. Some things are dealbreakers in a relationship, and that's okay, because there are other people who will have the same dealbreakers that you do. There are lots of super touchy-feely people in the world. If that's a dealbreaker for you, you can find someone who is touchy-feely like you are. But I think it's also worth asking yourself if having someone who is touchy-feely is worth sacrificing some of the things that make your current relationship good. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't- only you can decide that for yourself.
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getting into the holiday spirit except these guys don’t know how to wrap gifts
characters: deuce s., riddle r.
warnings: none, just pining BUT ALSO they get kisses, smooches even
as the holiday season approaches, crowley appears to be more ‘generous’—as if he would ever be—claiming that the holidays just soften him up.
of course, that meant an actual, decent amount of money you and grim have ever laid your eyes upon, and you went out of your way to get your friends presents…
and now one of them has decided to help you wrap them all. (which is, frankly, quite a lot.)
deuce:
your hands meticulously go to work, creasing and flattening and folding; you wrapped a little wooden box—it had roses and hedgehogs painted onto it, a gift for riddle—so efficiently, deuce paused from his own gift to stare at you in awe.
his cheeks were slightly flushed, either from the sudden pick up of wind outside, ramshackle was horrible at keeping heat in and cold out; or due to his (previously) nonexistent skills in wrapping presents. honestly, you couldn’t tell.
“woah,” he lets out, completely awestruck by your deft hands, his work-in-progress left forgotten.
after mumbling your name, he quietly asks,
“how can you do this so well?”
you look up, pushing the box aside.
“do what?”
“the.. the, uh, wrapping,” he says, eyes locking onto anything but you.
he felt awfully shy, considering he admired you a lot—his mom was both happy and concerned about the amount of messages and letters she’s received talking about you alone—and he was grateful ace wasn’t here to notice his attitude.
“oh!” a little smile slips onto your face, “it took a lot of effort a while ago, my hands were either too clumsy or too fast, and i lost track of what i was doing—i ended up with a lot of.. mistakes…”
you trail off, eyes focusing on the almost-finished present besides deuce.
“yours looks really good, deuce,” you compliment, happy he had improved in such a short time. there were only a few mistakes, but you pushed those aside.
he both brightens and stiffens up, cheeks going even pinker as he gives you a wobbly smile.
“t-thank you! i’m glad th—“
you cut him off by scooting over, brushing his hair out of the way; and you kiss his forehead.
“good job.”
he sat there, flabbergasted, losing all sense of what he once was; now he was the equivalent to a gaping fish.
“y.. yes, thanks.. prefect..” his cheeks burned, hand brushing over his forehead. you were amazing.
💗
riddle:
as the proud, respectful, and diligent housewarden of heartslabyul, it was simply a must that he assist the lone ramshackle prefect in their duty..
duty… of wrapping gifts? on one hand, he knew he lacked the experience to properly help, but he would rather sit and learn (and spend more time with you) than call in someone as a substitute. that’s what ran through his thoughts—that it was logical to stay—but deep inside? he just wanted to be with you, as time is precious. (like you.)
he furrowed his eyebrows as he unfolded, folded and re-creased an edge over and over again, trying to perfect the last corner of a wrapped box. (he was pointedly ignoring that it was addressed to floyd.) he was so consumed in his efforts that he didn’t notice you leaning over his shoulder, marveling at how neat he was.
“wow, you’ve learned well, riddle,” you noted, looking back at your own pile of finished presents. they were a bit messy, but you didn’t get paid enough to be perfect, anyways.
he flinched.
“have i? ..well, it’s good i’ve learned the material; now it’s just proper execution, prefect, and i haven’t quite mastered it yet, though—though i will..” despite brushing off the compliment, he couldn’t hide how he was already starting to turn pink, some steps away from going red.
“master it? really? i would’ve thought you already did it, your gifts look perfect! super amazing, riddle, take a step back and look sometimes.”
he was red, not like a tomato just yet, but he could feel his heartbeat loudly trying to deny the affirmations slipping from your mouth; he clutched onto something, but if the tape dispenser he was holding were to be alive, it’d be crying from the amount of pressure it was under.
“i.. well, i—i…”
“seriously! and honestly, you’d get a reward, but your present’s already been wrapped, so i just have…”
you grip his shoulders, turning him around to face you. taking hold of his hand, you kiss it softly, looking back up.
“..that; i wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with things like forehead kis—“
“off—OFF WITH—“
“w-wait, wait, riddle?! RIDDLE—“
he liked it. (?)
MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS 🎄 w two of ur fav heartslabyul boys fr
also deuce is totally considering marriage in that last line ;;;;;;:::; hint hint wink wink
(tbh he seems like that one incorrect scenario where someone goes to propose and the other’s like, “oh! you’re finally propoisng” and the proposer’s like ?? how did u know??? when in reality theyve dropled the ring so many times that the other even picked it up once)
abyways w riddle…. congratulations on being collared during the holiday season
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#fluff#twst#twst deuce x reader#twst riddle x reader#deuce spade x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#deuce spade x yuu#riddle rosehearts x yuu#twst x yuu
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A Nice Christmas
Thanks to @gayhistorynerd for the prompt, see here (I kind of deviated from it a little maybe a lot but the story still stemmed from this prompt)
Pairing: Wilhelm × Simon
Summary: Wilhelm may have denied being in the sex tape, but that doesn't mean that the world has forgotten. The Christmas break proves to be difficult for both Simon and Wilhelm, one suffering from ongoing harassment and the other feeling completely isolated, and they find that they can't help but be drawn back to each other.
Word Count: 4.5k
A/N: This took me so long to write because I got writer's block right after I started it. This doesn't have a super happy ending because I wanted to try and keep it pretty realistic, but it is pretty sweet and wholesome.
Taglist: @probablyprocrastinatingrightnow @rika90 @angelwilhelm
Wilhelm had never felt more alone than he did being home for Christmas break. He spent as much time as was physically possible holed up in his bedroom, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, especially not his mother. He hadn’t turned his phone on for three days, he had bitten his nails down to the nailbeds and he hardly had any appetite. The ache in his chest was constant and unyielding.
He lay in the dark most of the time, his curtains closed throughout the day and only sometimes opened at night to let the moonlight in. Besides that, he didn’t have much idea of how time was passing.
He did know that it was Christmas eve though. And it must be the morning because nobody had come to drag him out of his bedroom to join the celebrations. A cursory peek around the curtain confirmed that, as Wilhelm saw that the sun hadn’t even fully risen yet.
A deep breath settled the stone in his stomach, and he reached for his phone with a shaky hand.
When the device turned on it immediately started going crazy with notifications, and Wilhelm felt his heart rate increase with every buzz.
5 messages from August
Ignore.
10 messages from Mamma
Ignore.
2 missed calls from Felice
Wilhelm paused in swiping away the notifications. Felice had called him twice and sent him three messages. He clicked on the message notification, sitting back against the wall and holding in a breath without realising it.
Felice: Hey Wille, how are you feeling being home?
Felice: I just wanted to check in but I can’t get a hold of you, I hope you’re doing alright
Felice: You probably don’t want to talk but you can call or text me whenever you do
Wilhelm sighed. Of all the people that he thought that he could depend on, Felice was the only one that he still had. He swallowed the lump in his throat and called her back.
It rang for a while before she answered, and he’d almost decided to hang up the call when it stopped ringing.
“Wille, good morning.” Felice greeted, cheerful but clearly tired. “Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah, merry Christmas Felice.” Wilhelm replied feebly. His voice was hoarse from disuse.
“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about something?”
“Uhm, I- I don’t know, I just... I don’t know.” He stuttered, wrapping his free arm around himself.
“Okay, well, what are your plans for today?”
“I’m not sure, I haven’t really been talking to anyone. What, uh, what are your plans?”
“Oh, you know, just the usual. We’ll watch Kalle Anka's Jul and play some games before dinner, then we’ll open presents.” She explained. The tinny sound of her voice through the phone was actually quite calming.
“What about for the rest of the break?”
“Um, I’m going to New York to see Maddie for New Year, so that’ll be fun. And I’m going back to Bjärstad on Boxing Day to see Sara. I’m gonna stay there just for one night.”
“So you’ve been talking to Sara a lot then?” Wilhelm questioned, moving to bite at his almost non-existent nails.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Has she said anything about Simon? Do you know if he’s alright?” His words came out more rushed than he had intended. Clearly, he was more eager for some sort of information on Simon than he had thought.
“Um, she hasn’t said much but I think he’s pretty okay.” Felice replied, but it was followed by a small sigh that let Wilhelm know that there was more to the story. “Sara says that things have mostly gone back to normal, but Simon goes out a lot less and she’s had to make her Instagram private. I think they’ve had a few people show up at their house.”
Wilhelm swallowed hard, a feeling of guilt crawling under his skin. Simon’s Instagram account had been private ever since the video had been leaked, so it seemed that now people had found Sara’s too. They had attention on them that they had never signed up for, and Wilhelm knew that it was his fault and he felt terrible for that.
“Okay.” He replied shakily. There was a short silence before Felice spoke again.
“How are you, Wilhelm? Really?” She asked.
“Lonely.” He answered. “Listen, I have to go. I need to take a shower before someone comes demanding that I take part in the Christmas celebrations.”
“Alright well, call me back whenever, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Bye, Felice.”
“Bye, Wille. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Wilhelm ran a hand over his face, letting out a groan of frustration and sadness. Why couldn’t he just be a normal kid?
He stared down at his phone in his lap, gnawing at the nail of his right thumb in contemplation. With a shaking breath and trembling fingers, he picked it back up, opened his conversation with Simon and typed a short message. He dropped his phone in mild panic as soon as he hit send, and rubbed his hand over his chest as he took a deep, steadying breath.
+ + +
“Simon, wake up. Rosh and Ayub will be here soon.” Sara’s voice stirred Simon from his sleep and he rolled over to look at her. She was already dressed.
“What time is it?” He asked with a yawn.
“Nine o’clock. Get up and come help with breakfast.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting up.”
Sara rolled her eyes and left the room, and Simon reached out to his bedside table blindly until his hand landed on his phone. He squinted at the screen as he sat up, faltering when he saw the notification on the screen.
Wilhelm: Merry Christmas Simon
He felt his heart race as he stared at the screen, only snapping out of it when he heard Sara shouting at him from downstairs. He blinked, dropped his phone and set about getting dressed.
Every Christmas eve since they were ten, Simon, Sara, Rosh and Ayub would have breakfast together and then go for a long walk. It was tradition for them at this point, but Simon found himself unable to feel excited for it this year. It was all well and good to pretend like life was going on as normal, but it was hard not to feel uncomfortable when people stared at him everywhere he went.
Rosh and Ayub arrived just as he and Sara were finishing up making breakfast, and they exchanged Christmas well-wishes as they sat down to eat.
“You’re being real quiet over there, Simme. You alright?” Ayub asked after a while, and Simon realised that he’d been completely zoned out.
“Sorry, just thinking.”
“About Wilhelm?” Sara questioned. Simon pushed a bite of food into his mouth and shrugged.
“You have to move on, Simon.” Rosh said. “I know you care about him but he’s not worth all the trouble that he comes with.”
“I know. That’s why I ended things.” He replied. “It still sucks though.”
“You’ll get over him eventually.” Sara told him, putting a comforting hand on his for a few seconds before going back to her food. Simon smiled slightly.
He didn’t tell them about the text.
Despite all of that, he was in high spirits when they set out for their walk, happily joking and laughing with his friends, and they made it half an hour before he heard the first comment.
“That’s the guy from the sex tape.” Muttered a girl to her friend as they passed, and Simon felt the smile fall from his face.
“Just ignore them.” Sara told him, wrapping an arm around one of his. He nodded, but it had gotten to him. For the rest of their walk from that point, Simon felt like every person that they passed was looking at him and judging him.
They walked both Rosh and Ayub back to their houses before heading back to theirs just a bit past noon. They had almost gotten home when they were approached by a group of teenagers probably slightly younger than them.
“Are you the guy from that viral sex tape?” One of the boys asked unabashedly, the group coming right up in front of Simon and Sara and blocking their path.
“Uh, I don’t want to talk about that.” Simon replied stiffly, still trying to be polite.
“Oh my god, it is him!” A girl exclaimed.
“Was it actually the crown prince in the video?” Another chimed. Simon felt lightheaded.
“He already said that it wasn’t.” He deflected, trying to sidestep the group.
“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people that don’t actually believe him.” The girl laughed; actually laughed, as if this hadn’t been an earth shattering event for Simon.
“If it wasn’t Prince Wilhelm then who was it in the video?” A boy asked, and that was when Simon spotted the phone filming him and his stomach dropped.
“I’m not discussing my sex life with a bunch of strangers.” He scoffed in disbelief, shouldering his way past the group with Sara close behind him. “Please leave me alone.”
“You could just tell us if it was actually the prince or not.” One of them pressed, the group now following after Simon. “If it wasn’t him then you don’t have anything to hide.”
“Oh my god, did the royal family pay you off? Did they make you sign an NDA!?”
“Were you, like, boyfriends? Or was it just a hookup?”
Simon kept walking, keeping his head down and not answering any of the questions being hurled at him. He could sense that Sara was just as tense beside him. The group followed them for a full block before Simon finally lost his cool and came to a dead stop, turning to face them.
“I’m not going to answer your questions. The fact that you’re following me is not going to make me answer your questions. I’ve had my privacy majorly invaded once already and now you’re invading it again. I’m trying to enjoy Christmas with my sister and you’re chasing me with a camera, I’m sick of people harassing me.” He fumed, making sure to meet the eye of every one of them at some point. “Whatever you choose to believe is not my problem. It doesn’t matter whether you think that the crown prince is telling the truth or you choose to make up some type of theory, I deserve my privacy.”
He didn’t wait for any type of response before he turned around and walked away, thankful to find that they weren’t going to follow him anymore.
“You handled that well.” Sara said quietly once they had turned the next corner. Simon didn’t reply.
When they got home, he went straight upstairs without a word. He slammed his bedroom door shut and buried his face in his pillow, unable to hold the tears back any longer.
By that same evening, the video was viral.
+ + +
I bet that girl was right and the royal family made him sign an NDA
If he didn’t want people to think it was the prince he would have just said that it wasn’t so either the prince was lying or this guy is seeking attention
He’s literally a kid why can’t people just leave him alone??
I don’t care if it was the prince in the tape or not, this guy is hot
The way he said that people are making up theories makes me think that it actually wasn’t the prince in the video
I feel bad for this guy, getting followed around like that must suck
Wilhelm scrolled through the captions and comments on the seemingly endless posts of the video of Simon, feeling like somebody had a vice grip on his heart.
The first time he saw the video had been right after Christmas Eve dinner. He’d had a full blown panic attack and locked himself in the bathroom for half an hour. When he came out, his mother had tried to talk to him about the politics of the situation and he had immediately retreated into his bedroom once again. He missed Erik desperately.
He hadn’t been able to sleep, he'd only gotten about three hours of broken, fitful sleep all night, and now he couldn’t pry himself away from his phone. He knew that it was bad for him, he knew that it was making him feel terrible, but he wanted to know what people were saying.
He had been hesitant to text Simon, especially since he hadn’t received a reply to the merry Christmas text that he had sent in the morning, but in the end he mustered the courage to reach out. He had asked how Simon was doing and apologised for getting him into this situation. He wasn’t surprised when no answer came.
Christmas day was proving to be probably the worst day of Christmas break for Wilhelm. His chest felt like it was bursting open and like it was an empty chasm at the same time. He didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, he didn’t respond to the knocks that came at his door. He felt like he was trapped in a glass box and someone was shaking it.
Wilhelm didn’t know how long he had been scrolling through multiple different social media platforms when his phone buzzed in his hand and an incoming call appeared on the screen. He faltered, sitting up and almost dropping his phone, when he saw that it was Simon. He ran a nervous hand through his hair as he raised the phone to his ear.
“Simon?” He croaked.
“Hi, Wilhelm.” The reply came through the phone, and Wilhelm felt his shoulders relax at the sound of Simon’s voice.
“Hi. H-how are you.” He fumbled, and Simon sighed on the other end.
“I’m okay, I guess. As okay as I can be after... well, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.”
“This wasn’t your fault, Wille.” Simon muttered. “I just wish things were different.”
“Why, um... why did you call?” Wilhelm asked. There was a short stretch of silence that rung in his ears before Simon answered.
“I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess.” He confessed, and Wilhelm couldn’t help the soft smile that pulled at his lips. “Honestly, I was kind of surprised that you didn’t delete my number or something.”
“Why would I have done that?”
“I don’t know, I guess I just thought that you weren’t supposed to have any ties with me since you said that it wasn’t you in the video.” Wilhelm winced at that.
“It's not like my contacts list is available to the public.” He replied, trying to keep his tone light. “I’m not gonna let that kind of thing get in my head again.”
“Is your mum mad?” Simon asked, and now it was Wilhelm’s turn to sigh.
“I’m not sure, I kind of shut myself in my room so that I wouldn’t have to deal with her.” He answered tiredly. “How is your family?”
“Uh, shaken. Sara’s off in her own world with her sketchbooks and mamá can’t go for more than an hour without checking on us both, but we’re handling it.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologise.”
There was a silence again. Wilhelm ran his hand across his leg, back and forth in a soothing motion, not sure what he should say but not wanting the conversation to finish. In the end, Simon spoke first.
“Did you mean it, what you said before you left for the break?” He asked softly.
“Yeah, I did.” Wilhelm answered without hesitation. “I know it wasn’t a good time to say it, and you probably didn’t want to hear it, but I just had to say it out loud. At least once.”
Silence again. Wilhelm heard Simon sigh, and pursed his lips nervously.
“I miss you.” Simon said.
“I miss you too.” Wilhelm replied with a nervous yet relieved chuckle. “I miss you a lot.”
Another pause.
“Where do we go from here, Wille?” Simon whispered.
“I don’t know.” Wilhelm mumbled. “But I... I want to fix this. Or at least just try to fix it. You don’t deserve to be harassed like this, and it’s my fault and I feel terrible.”
“It’s not your fault.” Simon reassured with a sigh. “It was everything else. We still didn’t do anything wrong, and that includes you.”
“No, I did. I promised we would be in this together and I broke that promise.”
“I understand why you did it. And I’m not mad at you. Honestly, having thought about it, you probably made the best decision for my sake too. I mean, I’m getting harassed enough as it is already. I can’t imagine what it would be like if you had told the truth.”
“I’m still sorry anyway.” Wilhelm said softly, and Simon chuckled. “So, um, Felice told me she was visiting Bjärstad tomorrow.”
“Yeah, her and Sara have gotten close. It’s nice, you know, that Sara’s made friends. And Felice is cool.”
“Yeah, she’s great.”
There was silence again, and Wilhelm bit at his nails thinking that Simon was done with the conversation.
“Are you alright, Wille?” Simon asked after a while. “I know this is your first Christmas without Erik, and I guess things with your mum might be a little... well, I just hope you’re okay.”
Wilhelm swallowed. He could lie, pretend he was fine and wave away Simon’s concerns, but he knew the lie probably wouldn’t hold up. Or he could tell the truth and admit how painfully lonely he was, how much he hated being home because the palace felt empty without Erik and how much he longed to be with Simon with every fibre of his being.
“I’m coping.” He sighed, settling for a middle ground of vagueness. “It’s lonely here. The ceilings feel too high.”
“Have you had stuff to do?”
“No, not really. I haven’t really been in the mood for Christmas, but I guess none of us are particularly festive this year anyway.”
“Would you - I mean, if you would even be allowed to, but maybe if you could – would you want to come down here for a day?” Simon asked, and Wilhelm could just picture him fidgeting nervously as he stumbled over his words. The image brought a smile to his face.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” He answered softly. “I’ll try and convince my parents.”
+ + +
Going to Simon’s house had been an absolute no go with his parents. “Just too risky” his mother had said. However, with enough persistence, he managed to wear them down to a compromise.
That was how he ended up in a car on his way back to Hillerska the day after Boxing Day. While Simon’s house had been absolutely off the table, it would be easy enough to get back to Hillerska without being seen. The only people who were there during the break were security and the people who came to take care of the horses.
He had been worried at first that the inconvenience of it would make Simon not want to bother, but when he texted to ask if it was okay he had been met with a quick agreement.
A security guard unlocked the door for him when they arrived, sworn to secrecy of course, and he headed up to his room to wait. He didn’t realise he was biting his nails until there was a knock at the door and he was knocked out of his anxious thoughts.
The door opened slowly, and Wilhelm felt like all of the air was knocked out of his body when he saw Simon step inside, dressed in his beloved purple hoodie under the coat that he took off and draped over the back of a chair that was within reach. The door clicked shut behind him, and silence hung in the air.
“Hey.” Simon greeted finally, and Wilhelm took a deep breath as if he was just remembering how to breathe at all.
“Hey.” He echoed. “How are you?”
“Better.” Simon nodded. “Did you get into a fight with your parents?”
“Yeah, kinda.” Wilhelm muttered. “It’s fine though.”
Simon crossed the room and took a seat beside Wilhelm on the edge of the bed, a good few inches of space between them. It felt like miles.
“You look tired.” Simon commented.
“I’ve been having a hard time sleeping.” Wilhelm replied weakly, eyes downcast, fidgeting with his hands. “I get that way sometimes. It’s fine.”
“Is it?”
He looked over to find Simon watching him, and he practically crumbled under his gaze. He took a very unsteady breath and shook his head.
“No, it sucks.” He mumbled. His hand drifted back up to his mouth and he gnawed on the nail of his thumb nervously.
“Wille, you’re bleeding.” Simon said, gently grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away from his mouth. Wilhelm looked down at his thumb and saw a bit of blood pooling in the side of the nailbed, becoming aware of the taste of it on his tongue.
“Oh, I didn’t notice.”
“How much have you been biting your nails?” Simon questioned, pulling Wilhelm’s hand towards him to get a look at them. Every nail was jagged and uneven, bitten down to stubs. The skin around them had been bitten at too.
“I don’t know, I do it without realising.” Wilhelm shrugged. “Probably a lot.” He resisted the urge to curl his fingers around Simon’s hand and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.
“You shouldn’t have to bottle everything in, you’re destroying yourself.” Simon murmured.
“I don’t have anyone to talk to.” Wilhelm’s voice broke halfway through his sentence, a single tear managing to fight its way from his eye. “I used to be able to talk to Erik about at least some of it but now he’s gone and I don’t have anyone, and sometimes it feels like the ground is falling out from under me and I just don’t know what to do.”
He didn’t notice that he was hyperventilating until Simon pulled him into his arms. Wilhelm’s chest was tight, rising and falling rapidly against Simon’s body. Simon's arms were wrapped around him tightly, and Wilhelm was suddenly overwhelmed with how much he had been craving a hug as his hands grasped at the back of Simon’s hoodie and he hid his face in the crook of Simon’s neck.
Wilhelm had always been told not to cry. Ever since he was a child, whenever he began to cry he was told to stop. The seed had planted itself in him when he was very young, but the fear of letting himself cry didn’t truly grow until he once saw an article in a tabloid. He was barely eleven and he had fallen and hurt himself at an event. He had hardly cried, just a few tears and red cheeks, but the tabloid had had plenty to say about it. He hadn’t let himself properly cry since, except for when Erik died. Even then, he had waited until he was completely alone before he let his weakness show. But now, with Simon, he felt an overwhelming need to let his tears fall.
“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into Simon’s shoulder. He could feel the tears coming out of his eyes but they weren’t falling down his face, instead absorbing into the fabric of Simon’s hoodie.
“It’s okay.” Simon soothed, a hand moving up to stroke over the Wilhelm’s hair.
“I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a prince.”
“I know.”
“I just wanted to feel normal. Just for once.” Wilhelm said through his tears. “You made me feel normal.”
Simon furrowed his eyebrows, sympathetic. He loosened his hold on Wilhelm and leaned back, sliding the hand that was on the back of Wilhelm’s head forward to rest against his cheek.
“You made me feel normal too.” He replied softly. “At school I was a social outcast because I’m not rich, and at home I have to take care of my mom and Sara. When I was with you, I didn’t feel like I had to take care of anyone or watch where I was stepping. Well, except that one night.” Wilhelm huffed a slight laugh at the comment, lifting a hand to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. “I’ve never seen you cry before.” Simon commented.
“I’m not supposed to.” Wilhelm replied with an awkward chuckle, his head tipping forward in embarrassment. Simon sighed through his nose and lightly touched his forehead to Wilhelm’s.
“You have to cry sometimes, Wille. Everyone cries.”
“I’m not supposed to be everyone.”
“Okay, but sometimes you need to stop worrying about what you’re supposed to be.” Simon told him. “I know you know that.”
Wilhelm took a deep breath. This close to Simon’s face, he could feel his breathing too. He wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t know if that would be okay. He nodded slightly, covering Simon’s hand on his cheek with his own.
“Yeah.” He breathed.
When Simon leaned forward and connected their lips Wilhelm responded automatically, though it took his brain a few seconds to catch up. Once his brain did catch up, his hand took hold of the back of Simon’s neck and pulled him impossibly closer, holding onto this moment like it was his last. Maybe it would be the last time he got to kiss Simon; he couldn’t know. He hoped it wouldn’t be.
“Thanks for coming to see me.” Simon said when they broke apart.
“Thanks for wanting to see me at all.” Wilhelm replied. “I really missed you.”
Simon hummed, a faint smile playing at his lips. He watched Wilhelm for a few moments before kicking off his shoes.
“Come here.” He said, shuffling over the bed towards the wall. Wilhelm followed suit and allowed himself to be guided down to a lying position, Simon’s chest against his back and arm around his waist. “You need to sleep.”
“It’s the middle of the day.” Wilhelm protested, weak as the protest may have been.
“People have naps all the time, and you know that you need it.” Simon said firmly, adjusting the pillow under his head with his free arm and finding Wilhelm's hand to hold in the other. “It doesn’t have to be for long, okay?”
“Okay.” Wilhelm nodded, feeling suddenly very relaxed. He took a deep breath settling into the comfort and warmth of Simon’s body around his as his eyes fell shut. “This is nice.” He mumbled after a while.
“Yeah.” Simon agreed softly. “Go to sleep, Wille.”
It wasn’t long until he felt Wilhelm’s breathing change, signifying that he had fallen asleep. He smiled, fondly but with an edge of sadness to it, and pressed a light kiss to Wilhelm’s shoulder before closing his own eyes. They would deal with the rest of the world when they woke up.
#young royals#young royals netflix#wilmon#wilhelm x simon#simon x wilhelm#young royals fanfic#young royals fic#simon young royals#simon eriksson#wilhelm young royals#wilmon fanfic#felice young royals
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No Better Canvas To Paint A Ruined Landscape — Lee Seokmin
request: hii can i request a sub!seokmin x dom fem reader?? you catch him touching himself and then he is super shy about it when you confront him!!<3
tags: soft dom and fem!reader, shy and sub!seokmin, cockring, orgasm control, light bondage, established relationship, praise kink, noona kink, semi-public sex (kind of?), snowballing, unprotected sex, blowjob, fluff at the end if you squint, seokmin being adorable, and potentially killing me with his cuteness
a/n: I’m a whore for sub seokmin. that’s all I have to say. definitely not alive after this. tbh this was my favorite tumblr smut until now all because seokmin. lee seokmin. yeah. bye.
word count: 7202
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Seokmin looks like he might combust into a thousand tiny Seokmins really soon.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You keep staring at him in interest, looking with an amused lifted eyebrow how his red face turns to the side to avoid your eyes like it’s some sort of plague. There’s a lonely drop of sweat running down his left temple, a hand coming to swap at it and freezing in the middle of the act when your eyes find each other, the blush creeping in his cheeks burning with an even darker shade as you watch fascinated the bob of his adam’s apple when Seokmin swallows nervously.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
He jumps a little where he’s sitting when you nudge his feet with yours. Seokmin comically widens his eyes at you when you mouth “what’s going on?”, quick to shake his head what it seems like at least fifty times. A frown forms on your brows, your boyfriend being oddly nervous and suspicious is poking on your curiosity, especially when he excuses himself to the bathroom in a hurry.
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You stare at his empty seat, the plate of food laying almost untouched on the table. It’s been a while since the both of you hosted a party on your house, so you wanted to make the experience good for your friends — and you know Seokmin does too, but for some reason he’s acting… whatever the way he’s acting —, having even put a lot of effort into dressing up for the occasion. Something must be wrong, so you excuse yourself from the friends who are sitting on the table and go through the little crowd, heading towards the bathroom.
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“Seok-ah?” you ask softly where you stand right in front of the door. No answers. You knock again, this time a little bit louder. Maybe he didn’t listen to you, the music loud enough to shake you all the way to your bones. Again, no answers. Your frown worsens, gripping the handle and turning it just to be met with an empty bathroom. “Seokmin?”
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He’s not there, and okay, there's definitely something wrong. Seokmin sometimes tends to go through stuff you have no idea about because he keeps thinking he might bother you with his problems, and you just want him to know that you love him so much that it pains you more to see him suffering in silence than hearing him talking about it. Overall, Seokmin is the biggest overthinker ever, your sweet and shy boyfriend, a ball of sunshine despite his little defects you’re so fond of.
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You go to the master bedroom, your last hope to where he must be as your house doesn’t have many rooms. Worry settles deep within your stomach thinking that Seokmin might be sick or something.
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He isn’t.
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Quite the opposite, actually. Seokmin is more than healthy.
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You were not even remotely prepared for what you find inside when you open the door of your room. Seokmin is standing in front of the old escritoire you bought from an antique store, one of his sprawled hands supporting the weight of his body on the desk and broad back dressed in a white social shirt, still turned to you as the music overlapped the sound of your arrival — everything normal at first, and you’re about to open your mouth to question if everything is alright with him when your eyes catch a movement.
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Seokmin’s arm is working on something really fast, hand going up and down, tiny, soft noises coming from him, and your mind goes blank when the realization that Seokmin is jerking off sinks deep within your core.
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There’s a shiver rocking on your body, head spinning.
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“Seokmin,” is what you say, monosyllabic and completely flabbergasted.
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Seokmin snaps his head so fast in your direction you think he might have broken his neck for a second, eyes widening right before he closes them very tightly and moans loud enough that makes you want to close the door in fear of someone listening, but you’re too stuck in the fact that Seokmin almost just came to even be able to move from your spot.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“F-fuck,” he cries out, the grip he has around the base of his cock almost painful, probably there to hold his orgasm back. You’re stunt into silence as he scrambles desperately to hide his beloved friend back into his pants, struggling with the zipper in the process because the bulge is too big.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Seokmin,” you say again, like it’s the only word that remains in your vocabulary. Your mouth goes dry, heat burning on your lower stomach when you look at the notebook in front of Seokmin and sees one of the videos you record to be his fap material when you’re not around, playing on the screen. But you are around. “What are you doing?”
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It’s more than obvious what he’s doing. Even so, you still find yourself asking.
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Seokmin still hasn’t turned around. You know he must be very embarrassed right now — who wouldn’t anyway —, if the blush spreading all the way down to his ears and neck is anything to go by. His body stiffens when a soft moan comes from the notebook speakers, hands reaching to close the video and the screen so fast he knocks some things off of the table and into the ground.
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“Turn around,” you tell him, finally finding enough strength to close the door and lock it. Seokmin flinches at the sound, shoulders tensing, but he remains unmoving. “Now.”
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He flinches again, this time because of the finality in your tone, leaving no spaces for objections. Seokmin then complies, turning his body to you like every movement pains him deep within the bones, hands coming to cover the front of his pants and head hung low in shame.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You take a sweet moment to admire Seokmin’s figure; his shirt is open until the third button, firm and red chest peeking out of it, sweat glistening his skin to a beautiful shade of gold, biceps looking like it would pop out of the sleeves of his social shirt and lips swollen, probably because he must have bitten them really hard. Fuck, your boyfriend is so hot.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You lift a finger and crook it a few times towards yourself. He gets the message, coming closer lightning fast and stopping right in front of you, still refusing to look you in the eyes. You had enough of this attitude, spinning him around so his back could be against the door and cradling his chin between your fingers to tilt his head enough to look at you.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Aren’t you going to answer?” you question with a pout, voice poisonously sweet. Seokmin’s shiver doesn’t go unnoticed by you, satisfaction licking on your lower stomach.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“I— I-I’m, I was…” Seokmin mumbles intelligibly, a moan escaping his lips when your nails sink onto his shoulder and the darkness swimming in your eyes leaves his legs weak. He can’t shiver, needs to remain composed or else he might embarrass himself further, if that’s even possible, might make you realize the reason why he’s like this, might make him—
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin shivers.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“‘M s-sorry.” he offers, hips bucking slightly when he hears your pleased hum.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Are you though, sunshine?” bodies pressing closer, you watch Seokmin’s arms twitch, not knowing if he’s allowed to touch you. You smile at that, biting at his lower lip. “You were so desperate to touch yourself you came here all alone and jerked off to one of my videos? You don’t seem very apologetic to me.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
He whines at your condescending tone, head hitting the door with a soft thud when you tilt his chin back to lick a hot stripe up his neck, pulling it to the previous position once you’re done teasing him a little. There’s a sound threatening to come out of you when you see how much want is written all over his face.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“I-it’s because you look—” Seokmin’s sentence gets cut off in the middle when he feels the feather-like trace of your fingers on his hands that were still doing a very poor job of hiding the press of his cock to his pants. It brings tiny goosebumps all over his skin, Seokmin needing to take a deep breath before proceeding. “You look s-so hot with these clothes…”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Your touch stills completely, and Seokmin’s heart might jump out of his thoracic cage any time soon, but even so he doesn’t stop talking.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“And, and t-the way you were dancing was just— j-just so fucking sexy,” he mumbles quietly, closing his eyes for a second like he’s remembering how you swayed your hips obscenely to the beat of the music earlier. A flash of a memory runs through your mind, Seokmin sitting on your couch, manspreading as he watches you with one of his legs moving up and down nervously. “Want to f-fuck you so bad.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Yeah?” you tangle a hand on his hair, fisting it so you could pull his head backwards and pleasure yourself with the moan he gives you. Seokmin blinks at the ceiling, like he’s willing himself not to move. “My baby boy got hard watching me dance?”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
The pet name does something to him. It always does. Seokmin bucks his hips involuntarily, the front of his hands hitting your stomach as he ruts against his palms with such a whiny mewl you could swear you feel a punch to your lower stomach.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Yes. So hard.” and his voice, so sweet and beautiful, makes your penties start to soak. His hot breath fans your face, chest heaving with the intensity of it. “I’m so hard for you, fuck.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You slap his hand away. Seokmin turns his head to look at you, eyes big like he has been caught doing something very wrong.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Lost your manners, sunshine?” grabbing at his wrists, you pry them away to take a better look at his bulge, finding endearing how his cheeks immediately go redder at that. It looks painful, the outline of his cock pressing tight against the fabric of his blue pants, and you try not to let the smugness seep through your voice when you notice a wet patch of precum on it. “You’re that desperate you even forgot how to ask?”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You trap his hands behind his back; realistically, Seokmin could break free at any time he wants, with him being almost twice as bigger than you, but you know he wouldn’t do it because right now you got this kind of power over him that surrenders Seokmin putty, and it turns you on so much. He looks so good this way, back resting against the door, hips stuck to the front like he wants you to do something, eyes looking down at you with a hunger, a hunger to take what he wants already, but at the same time with an enormous amount of submission.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
And Seokmin is huge, not even just down there but in the rest of his body as well. Huge, thick thighs, huge chest, huge biceps; he is broad enough to tower over you even if the height difference wasn’t so big. And still, he chooses to give in to you.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Everything about Lee Seokmin drives you insane.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Please…” he says, barely above a whisper. With the door closed, it was more than enough for you to be able to listen even through the loud music going on outside. “P-please.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Please what?” you press further, fingers coming back to make a hot trail on his cock. Seokmin bucks forward a little, whining when you press a thumb on the cockhead.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Hmmm,” is all he answers, face burning with shame when he averts his eyes elsewhere. Seokmin knows very well what you want him to call you, it only happens when you’re feeling extra mean and horny, but he’s always so shy about it even if he has called you that more times than you can count.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Adorable.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You sigh, letting go of his cockhead and wrists to cradle his face with your hands, swallowing the frustrated cry he lets out with a kiss. Seokmin takes a few seconds to react, mind in haze with all of the electrifying horniness shocking his body, and then you feel his hands hold on your waist tight enough to leave marks. He moans, as if having your lips on his is the best reward he could ever ask for, and you yelp when Seokmin turns you both around and slams your back against the door. Seokmin kisses you rough, tongue pressing so hard on yours your head ends up hitting the door with a faint noise.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Fisting a hand on his hair, you hold onto it tight enough to make him hiss at the slight, but pleasurable pain. Seokmin is trying to take what he wants and you’re having none of that, using the hold on him to control the pace of the kiss and tilt his head to the place where you want it to go. You suck at his bottom lip, sinking your teeth in the plump flesh just so you could soothe it later with your tongue — and do that again, and again, and again. It doesn’t take long for him to be putty with your ministrations, knees buckling under his weight until he’s kneeling on the floor. You bend down slightly as he does so, kissing his breath away.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Look who’s getting all bold now,” you scoff when you part away, Seokmin’s eyes half lidded and swollen lips open to take big lungfuls of air. “Yeah, that’s right.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You stare down at him, the sight of your taller boyfriend on the floor making something evil twist in your belly.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Kneel for me like a good boy and I’ll let you fuck me like a bad one.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Please,” Seokmin begs at that, moaning when he closes a hand around his cock. You tsk, grabbing his jaw tightly and squeezing it between your fingers. “Wanna come.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Stop that before I decide to punish you,” you admonish, watching his eyes go wide for what it feels like the hundredth time this night and his hand falls uselessly on the side of his body. “Actually, you know what? Take your clothes off and lay on the bed.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin blinks a few times as if processing the order, walking over to the bed with trembling legs. He looks at you for some seconds, face burning red, and starts to unbutton his social shirt. You keep watching in silence, cooing at the cuteness of your boyfriend, right before the breath is punched right out of your lungs when his toned abs come into view. No matter how many times you see his body, it never fails to make you incredibly horny — the duality between his adorable face and the rest of him leaves you speechless.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You clear your throat when Seokmin covers his chest, embarrassed with being stared so attentively. Not your fault he’s so hot.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Come here, sunshine,” you purr, sitting on the other side of the bed and patting on the space beside you. He nods a little as if telling himself to obey, hopping onto your side and laying on his back after he finishes taking off his shoes. “Take your pants off too.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
This time Seokmin complies faster. It must hurt a lot, seeing the big bulge down there, and his fingers fumble to undo the button and the zipper so fast you’re surprised he didn’t hurt himself in the process, taking his pants and boxers completely off and throwing somewhere neither of you care. Seokmin’s hard cock slaps against his belly with a soft sound, smearing precum on his lower stomach. It’s an angry shade of red for being denied for so long, the wet mushroom tip making your mouth water as his hips kick upwards with the sheer need of touching it.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin looks at you with big, expecting eyes.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Seems like you were so desperate you couldn’t even hold yourself back from jerking off like a horny teenager,” you start, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. Seokmin visibly trembles when you pull away, rummaging through your nightstand’s drawer to find what he knows very well it’s a cockring. “So why don’t you do exactly that for me? And maybe, if you put on a good show, I will let you come.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin stares at the golden thing between your fingers and swallows, taking it when you hand it to him. He looks at the ring like it’s a dessert — you know how he loves being edged even if he won’t admit it, enjoys being denied just so the sensation of his orgasm could be bigger later —, closing a fist around his cock and pumping it a few times before slidding the ring down until it fits tightly at the base. Seokmin’s needy moan drowns your own, sounds like music to your ears, hips thrusting into his hand and he can’t possibly hold himself back.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Hgnnn, fuck,” he whines, pace fast where he does up and down movements on his cock. You lick your lips, mouth salivating with the size of Seokmin’s length. He’s so big, the thickness of him being so much it pleasantly hurts to suck him off, and it doesn’t help that he has such beautiful, veiny hands. “F-fuck, feels so, ah, so good.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin’s eyes catch yours looking at him like he’s a whole banquet being served just for you, the want and darkness in your eyes surrendering him into a shy mess. He blushes furiously, arm coming up to hide his face from embarrassment and legs pressing together to try and cover his cock — of course it doesn’t hide, Seokmin is too huge and too hard for that.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Don’t do that, sunshine,” you admonish, cooing when he shakes his head. Fingers closing gently around his wrist, you pry his arm away to take a better look at your shy boyfriend. You smile at him, endeared with his cuteness. “Let me see you being beautiful for me.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Y-yeah?” Seokmin murmurs, and you nod at him, fingers teasing on his nipple. His back arches softly, eyes closing and a whimper escaping through his swollen lips.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Yeah,” you echo, too entranced on his noises to possibly think straight. Big breaths; you will your impatience down, wanting to see Seokmin pleasuring himself some more. “Such a big cock. Makes me want to suck you off until my mouth hurts.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
The lewd sound Seokmin lets out to that punches a moan straight out of you, fucking up into his own hand as if your words were the ones doing so. He presses a thumb on his cockhead, spreading the precum all over the tip and slipping his fist further down when he concludes it’s wet enough. Seokmin writhes on the bed, unable to contain the hot surge of pleasure coursing through his veins. His free hand flies to his left nipple, pinching it with more strength than you thought he would — it makes his whole body tremble, head sinking back into the soft pillows and fingers letting go of the red bud to squeeze the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Please, ah, p-please, wanna— W-wanna cum so bad,” Seokmin begs, wants your hands on him. Of course it’s smaller than his own, but you know how to flick your wrists just right to make him feel good, and he needs that right now. If they were your fingers, they would warp perfectly around his cock, even if they didn't close all the way around it as you stroke him. Or maybe you’d tease him a little, as you sometimes do to him when you want to be a little mean. It always pulls the sweetest and loudest whines from Seokmin, you saying that his reactions are cute. “Touch me, please.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“I am touching you,” you tell him with a pout, referring to the caress you’re doing on his biceps. You chuckle when he makes a frustrated groan at your retort, knowing very well how you’re going to be today.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin doesn't say anything else — knows it won’t make you touch him anytime sooner —, breath hitching and hips shuddering with pleasure. He continues to slowly rub his finger over the flushed head of his cock in teasing little pats. There’s a bit of squirming on the bed, Seokmin trying to grasp on his own memory the sensation of your hands on him, playing with his thickness with a tiny smirk on your lips and it’s like you enjoy seeing him writhe around in desperation. Seokmin opens his eyes to find you with that exact same expression, moaning when he fucks up into his hand again after he fists his cock, panting heavily.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin lets out a soft cry of relief, knows he should be more invested in putting on a show for you than concentrating on his own pleasure, but you love anything he does anyway. Also, it’s not like he has enough patience to hold himself back, has been hard for such a long time his balls may even start to turn purple soon.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
So he plants his feet on the bed, hips kicking faster, rougher, moans high and wanton as he fucks his own hand. Seokmin watches you intensely, how you look so good with those clothes, lips swollen from the kissing and dark eyes lusting for him. He thinks about your mouth on his cock, how you look so pretty with the girth inside it and holding his hips down when Seokmin thrashes around, too desperate to cum down your throat to stop himself.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Your imagination works on something similar as you enjoy Seokmin falling apart right beside you. What would be his reaction if you pressed your feet on his cock where he sat across the table almost an hour ago? Would Seokmin keep talking with his friends, disguising the way his breath would turn shaky and unsteady? Would he pretend that his girlfriend isn’t rubbing him off right then and there, regardless of who could hear or see the obscene noises of him moaning or the way you move your feet on him?
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“You would love if I touched you right there under the table, wouldn’t you?” you purr your thoughts out, watching the pad of his fingers play with his nipples. Seokmin has always been sensitive there, and honestly it turns you on so much. He nods fast at your question as he pinches the bud, rolling it between his thumb and index finger. “But instead of telling me, you went to our room and jerked off to one of my videos without asking for permission.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin turns his face away, cheeks burning at what you’ve said. You weren’t exactly talking about the video when you said permission, but rather him touching himself. He knows very well he needs to ask you before doing so.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin is nearly on the cusp, but knows he won’t trip over and orgasm solely because of the cockring. It makes him almost cry from frustration, hand jerking himself off furiously and it’s always like he’s on edge, unable to come but the pleasure high enough to make him think that he will.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“I-I didn’t want to, hmmm, ruin y-your party.” Seokmin admits with a small cry, not wanting you to look at his face right now. He struggles to gather words, mind in a haze from neediness. “‘M sorry— s-sorry, please.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Awwww, my sweet baby boy. You’re not ruining anything.” you coo, cradling his face between your hands and turning it towards you, his eyes still not meeting yours even so. You caress his blushed cheek with your thumb, pecking his lips one time and noticing how Seokmin shivers beautifully at the pet name, hand still working fast and rough on his cock. “Honestly, watching you fall apart for me is way better than any party.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin is visibly affected by the affirmation, head sinking further into the pillow and hips twitching where they thrust up into his fist.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“So beautiful for me, so stunning, my pretty baby boy.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Fuck, and he can’t take it.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Noona,” Seokmin moans out, shame twisting his gut along with pleasure, but it feels so good to see what the name does to you that he suddenly is not so embarrassed anymore. “Please, please t-touch me—”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Fuck, Seokmin,” a hand grabs at his jaw, your body trembling with the need sinking deep within your bones. It’s so fast your mind spins and for a moment you think you might pass out with all the blood surging down to your core. “Shit, call me that again, baby. Come on.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“N-Noona— Noona, please, I’ve b-been good,” Seokmin begs, writhing all over the bed, and you think he might start crying very soon if you don’t give him what he wants. “I-I’ve been so good, ah, just— J-just give me what I want, p-please.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“So fucking good for me,” you moan, getting on top of his thighs and kissing him stupid. Seokmin lies plient underneath you, pace not even faltering. If anything, it became faster, the little kicks of his hips making you bounce on his lap. “Want you inside me.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin grabs your waist at that, but you only hold onto his wrists and pin them down beside his head. You move up on his lap until you’re sitting on his hard cock, the wetness of your folds seeping through your panties only serving to remind you how you’re still with your clothes on.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“God, look at you,” there’s a whine, and you’re not sure who lets out, you or him. You move your hips over his cock, like you’re riding it, and the stimulation on your needy cunt makes you squeeze Seokmin’s arms bruisingly tighter. “So desperate… I wanna do really bad things to you.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“T-tease me—” Seokmin starts, words being drowned on a choked out moan, and it has you stunt, him saying something like that since he’s usually more quiet in the bedroom. At least when he’s not crying or pleading, of course. “Tease me until I’m begging for it.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
The smile you give him is dirty and dark, nearly a sneer, and he throws his head back. If there’s one thing you love about Seokmin is how he enjoys submitting to you. He feels pleasure on letting go as much as you feel taking over, especially knowing that if he wanted to, he could manhandle you right now, push your face on the bed, pull your ass up and fuck you until you cry. But Seokmin won’t. He doesn’t want to. He loves having you on top of him, teasing him, touching him, ordering him around.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Yeah? Fuck, such a dirty baby boy,” you roll your hips to emphasize your point, basking in the way he writhes so beautifully underneath you. So ready to be torn apart and pieced back together later. Seokmin presses back, moving himself obscenely. “Stay still.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Reaching to the nightstand again, you move your hand blindly there until you’re able to pull a soft blue silk from the drawer. Seokmin widens his eyes at it, gulping at the implications behind the fabric.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“You’re not obeying me today,” you admonish. To be honest, you would rather get the ropes or the cuffs that are in the wardrobe, but your own impatience and desperation ends up winning and choosing what’s closer. “Touching yourself without my permission, not begging properly, trying to take what you want and now… You can’t even do something as simple as staying still?”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“N-Noona, Noona,” is all he’s able to say, body shaking from wanton. Seokmin let’s you pass the silk through his wrists with practiced ease and ties them up together, and then at the headboard. This way his arms are restricted, biceps bulging due to the position. “I’ll be g-good. I’ll be your— y-your good boy, please—”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“I’ll be the judge of that,” you tell him instead, fisting his hair and yanking his head backwards. You kiss his chin, parting away to finally take your clothes off.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin stares all the way through it, dark eyes drinking the sight of your naked body, the faint sound of the music adding to both of your fuels like a dirty soundtrack.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Like what you see?” you tease with a raised eyebrow, smiling at the way his cheeks turn red.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Fuck yes,” Seokmin answers even so, wrists pulling at the silk trapping them as if he’s trying to break free and touch you. The sincerity in his voice makes you blush softly. “Y-you’re so hot, Noona. Can’t believe I have you all for myself.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
There’s something possessive burning at his eyes that has butterflies dancing on your lower stomach. You suck a deep breath, leaning down to capture his lips on yours. It’s far too messy for your own good but you don’t really care, wanting nothing more than to kiss the breath out of Seokmin’s lungs.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You succeed, pleasure swelling up in your insides when you have him panting, mind in a haze and chest heaving uncontrollably. He lies there, pliant for you as you lick one of his nipples. The reaction is immediate, Seokmin’s hips kicking up and his hard cock consequently slipping between your chest. A shiver rocks all over his body, your teeth biting at the red bud and sucking at it until his voice gets an octave higher and so, so sweet it makes you moan.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You bring your free hand to thumb at the other nipple, tongue doing circles all over it. Seokmin is desperate, thrashing on the bed as if he’s being electrocuted. You bite harder for good measure, snatching at his waist with a firm grip and pining it back down on the mattress.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“So sensitive, my cute baby boy” you appreciate with a hum, making sure to press your chest onto his overwhelmed cock. It’s painted in an angry shade of red now, the veins protruding against the length.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
There’s spit obscenely connecting your mouth to his nipple, and the realization coils heat on your blood and pumps arousal all over.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“People might hear you if you don’t keep it down, you know?”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
What you’re not expecting is how he tenses at that, muscles contracting, back arching off of the bed and hips stuttering where it fucked his cock between your chest. Seokmin moans, so loud you instinctively put a hand over his mouth to make him quieter.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
When his body falls limp again, the room is full of silence, other than the sound of his labored breath filling the air after you let go of him. You’re completely quiet though, still processing what just happened, head spinning.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“You came,” it wasn’t a question, the scene that just unfolded in front of you being enough confirmation to your suspicions. “You just had a dry orgasm.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Your tone was full of amusement and unbelievaness. You can’t quite grasp that fact; it’s not the first time he has used a cockring, but it’s the first time Seokmin actually was able to come with it on and also being barely touched. Laughing incredulously, you trail a finger down his still hard cock, watching him squirm violently underneath you.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“W-wait, Noona, I—” his words get cut off by his own moan when you take the cockring off, throwing it somewhere in the room as you hurry to fetch yet another thing from your nightstand. “Ah, f-fuck, I j-just came, N-No— Noona—”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You close a fist on him after pouring lube on his cock, watching in pure ecstasy the look of bliss turn into one of frustration. You feel Seokmin’s body twitch to the touch of your hand and react heavily as you keep going, with no remorse, slicking his cock up and flicking your wrist faster and faster.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“You know what to say if you want me to stop,” you tell him. It’s overwhelming, really, but nothing could ever top the sensation of your fingers around him.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
It makes Seokmin’s brain fuzzy, and it’s too much, his cock already sensible from his recent orgasm, but at the same time he wants to squirm away, he feels the mind numbing pleasure sink deep within his bones. Seokmin moans louder, pulling at the fabric binding his wrists in place, and shaking violently on the bed.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Ah! Fuck! Noona… f-fuck… ahh—” he pleads, swollen lips trembling, abs contracting and relaxing, the blushing red running all the way down to his chest, and legs kicking when he tries to get out of your grip because it feels so damn torturously good.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You take it all in, the burn of arousal lighting a flame on your lower stomach. All mine. You lick at your bottom lip, letting out a soft whine as Seokmin whimpers high in his throat, his hips moving, back arching, head thrown back — beautiful and yours.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Want me to stop, sunshine? Then say your safeword,” Seokmin groans at your remark, feeling tears well up in his eyes, body writhing out of control. He moans again, shaking his head a no as he humps his hips up into your hand.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“A-ah! Ah! Noona… ah! Hgnnn, Noona, p-please…” he begs, hands trembling and he actually thinks he might go crazy soon.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Dirty boy, had a dry orgasm even with a cockring just from thinking people might hear you,” you say, tone soft and gentle despite your ministrations. “Should have tied you up there, on the chair, and overstimulated you in front of everyone else.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You press a thumb on his cockhead, so hard you see a tear finally run down his cheek. Seokmin looks beautiful like this. So beautiful.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Almost came earlier from being caught jerking off too,” you add, brushing a strand of his hair behind his ear. “My sunshine is a little bit of an exhibitionist, isn’t he?”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
The fight has already left him, leaving Seokmin a stuttering mess. He only moans and shakes his head and pleads and you actually feel a little bad for the cry he breathes out when you let go of his cock. It’s short livid though, the hurry to rearrange yourself and sit on his lap making you almost fall on him.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
Seokmin doesn’t comment on your desperation though, doesn’t even have the strength to, and watches you line him up against your soaking cunt like you’ll die if you don’t get to ride him until sunset, the party long forgotten.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“Need you inside, need you,” you moan as you sink on his cock. Today morning you fucked, Seokmin hugging you and thrusting inside you lazily when he was spooning you just after you woke up, but it still feels almost like too much, the stretch of his cock splitting you open leaving you gaping. “So damn big.”
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
You open your eyes — don’t even know when you closed them — finding the prettiest view you could ever have. Seokmin’s fingers turned white from how hard he’s gripping the fabric around his wrists, and you think for a second that he might break the headboard, if the way he’s pulling at the silk is anything to go bye. The sweat goldens his skin, a gorgeous contrast with the redness tinting his face, neck and the beginning of his chest. And it’s stunning, really, his eyebrows frowned from pleasure, tears in the corner of his eyes and lips swollen from all the rough kissing.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
There is no better canvas to paint a ruined landscape than Lee Seokmin.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
He gasps, throwing his head back when you lift yourself up until only the tip of his cock is inside, and slam yourself back down, pelvis flush against Seokmin’s. You fall in a comfortable rhythm from there on; riding him like a pro, making sure to clench as tight as you can just to see him sob and plead and beg for whatever it is that you’re in the mood or willing to give him.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀
“G-god— I l-lo—” he tries, struggling to get words out with the way he’s bouncing on the bed with the force of your hips fucking down of his cock. “I love— I love y-you, N-Noona, Noona, fuck—”
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“Seokmin,” you moan, holding his face between your hands. It’s barely a kiss when you lean in to smash your lips on his, more like a moment in which your breath mingles with his and you both become one. “Seok-ah, Seokminnie, sunshine— you sound so, so pretty and sweet, my beautiful baby boy. I love you so much.”
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“U-untie, please,” Seokmin cries out, pulling harder at the restraints. “Wanna t-tou— ah, touch you, please, I have— h-have been so good—”
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“You’re always good, baby,” you reassure him, reaching out with fumbling fingers to undo the knot on his wrists. “Come on, sunshine. Fuck me as hard as you can.”
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Your brain can’t even process what happens as soon as he’s free; there are big hands on your hips, Seokmin planting his feet on the bed and fucking up inside you so hard you’re not able to support yourself up, body falling limp on top of his. He’s moaning by your ear now, so high and affected, and you think you can actually feel the spit running down from the corner of his mouth and sticking to your shoulder.
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“S-shit, shit, Seokmin,” you whimper, louder than you ever had this night, can’t even rock your hips back because Seokmin is holding you tight and pulling you down on his cock, pace brutal and unrelenting. “You’re s-so desperate, fuck.”
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“Wanna cum, w-wanna cum,” he keeps saying, burying his face in the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You feel his lips there, sucking the skin between his teeth and biting at it in a weak attempt to muffle his moans. Seokmin has always been the most vocal between the two of you, but you know it’s useless at this point, the people in your house probably know what is going on by now. “P-please, please, Noona, Noona— Want— N-need—”
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Before you can even answer him, the chant of “Noona, Noona, Noona” leaving his lips like a prayer has your orgasm hitting you suddenly. Your whole body tenses, muscles contracting tightly as the mind numbing sensation washes all over you, and you don’t know how much time you spend coming but when you come back to yourself Seokmin is still fucking you like it’s the last thing he will ever do.
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You put a trembling hand on his chest and use the other free one to grab at his wrist, signaling for him to stop. At that, Seokmin starts crying. Like really crying.
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“N-no— Let m-me come, let me— L-let me come, please, please, please,” he begs, and you coo at him.
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“Shhh, it’s okay, baby,” you peck his lips gently, wiping the cascading tears with your thumbs. “I want you to come on my face. Can you do that for me, hm, sunshine?”
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Seokmin stares at you with big wide eyes and you think you might die from how cute he is. He nods what it seems like a hundred times.
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“Words,” you remind him with a soft, calm voice, and smile when he answers a meek yes, please. “Good boy.”
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Seokmin blushes, sniffing a little and lifting his upper body up to have a better view of your lips descending on his cock. You kiss the tip one time, giving it a kittenish lick, and suckle at it hard enough to prove the salty taste of precum, not wanting to tease him more since he has been so good. Seokmin shivers, hips contorting on the bed, and you feel pride swell inside you when you realize he’s trying to stay still.
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You give his thigh a gentle pat, licking at the underside of his cock and bobbing your head a few times. You grab at the base of his length, slaps it on your tongue and look up at Seokmin. A small part of you gets embarrassed with the way he’s watching you so intently, but it’s quickly replaced with a burning need to see him coming.
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“G-gonna cum, cum, I-I’m— I’m coming, shit, fuck, hgnnn, N-Noona—” you hum at his cries, the last warning you give him before reaching up and taking one of his nipples between your fingers; you twist it as hard as you can, and then he’s coming.
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Seokmin moans, more like screams, and he arches forward, fingers flying to grab your hair so hard it hurts a little. There’s cum shooting out of his cock, your hands helping him out as the white ribbons fly across your face. Most of it lands on your mouth, some on your lashes and cheeks, some on his thighs and abs, and some even end up hitting your hair.
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The thing is that Seokmin doesn’t stop coming. His hips keep twitching, cock slipping and he thrusts on your face, unable to keep himself still as he rides his orgasm. After what seems like a good few minutes of him coming, Seokmin falls limp on the bed, his eyes closed, chest heaving with his labored breath, and looking completely fucked out.
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You’re quick to kiss him, his tongue pushing against yours when he tastes the leftover of his orgasm. His hips kick miserably, a little bit of come sliding down his softening cock.
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“Holy shit,” is what he says after a few minutes of silence, laughing weekly. You follow Seokmin, laying down beside him as you do so. “I think that was the best orgasm of my life.”
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“I think so too,” you agree, Seokmin moving his body to lay on his side and take a better look at you. He brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, his heart eyes making butterflies dance on your stomach. The fact that he’s looking at you like that even so you’re dirty with come, sweat and possibly spit makes you want to marry him. “So, you have an exhibitionism kink.”
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The affirmation seems to have caught him off guard, his cheeks warming up adorably as he coughs. You giggle when Seokmin tries to turn his back on you.
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“I hate you,” he mumbles with a pout.
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“Nah, you don’t,” you dismiss, and you’re right, he doesn’t. He could never. “Maybe we should try that out later?”
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“Try what?”
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“Me tying you up in a chair and making you come in front of everyo—”
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“Shut up!” Seokmin laughs and yells at the same time, hitting a pillow on you. You just grab it and throw it somewhere in the room. “You’re dirty.”
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“So is you,” you add with a smile. Seokmin turns around and pulls you by the waist.
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“Yeah,” he admits, hugging you tightly. It should be disgusting considering both of your conditions, but it only feels right. “Only dirty for you.”
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You scoff, mortified.
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“Now you shut up,” you swat at his — incredibly big and hot — arm, his giggles making all types of things to your heart. “Fucking sap.”
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“Hmm hmm,” Seokmin hums, and looks at you like that again. Full of love and respect and content, and there’s no better feeling than this. Together. With him. “A complete sap.”
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#seventeen fanfic#seventeen imagine#seventeen smut#sub seventeen#seokmin smut#dokyeom smut#dk smut#seokmin imagine#seokmin x reader#sub seokmin#dokyeom imagine#dokyeom x reader#sub dokyeom#dk x reader#dk imagine#sub dk#lee seokmin smut#seokmin#dokyeom#dk#seventeen#svt imagines#svt smut#svt
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I hope the inbox is open, i want eichi dating hc if possible!
A/N: Yep! It’ll always say whether my inbox is open or not in my bio. P.S. Eichi is a bastard but he’s a cute bastard so it’s alright. Thanks for the req, anon! <3
*ೃ༄ Eichi Tenshouin relationship hc’s
Being in a relationship with Eichi will almost certainly be a lot different than your standard, run-of-the-mill romantic relationship. But, he will try to make it as normal for you as he possibly can.
I would imagine no one would ever dare mess with you! You are the powerful President’s dear s/o, after all. If anyone ever did have a death wish and messed with you, you better believe Eichi and the rest of Fine will really make em’ pay.
On the topic of Fine, they love and cherish you. Wataru and Yuzuru are very good friends to you, and Tori thinks of you and Eichi as his beloved parents. The five of you are like a little family. <3
Tori likes to walk between you and Eichi, with an arm wrapped around one of yours, and one of Eichi’s. It makes him feel safe and comfy. Plus, it’s super cute! He really loves you both.
Eichi loves to caress your face, softly and lightly. It feels as though he’s tracing over your amazingly beautiful features, trying to commit them to his memory as best he can. It’s all he can think about when you’re apart!
The blonde is extremely grateful to have someone who visits him whilst he’s in the hospital. Spending holidays alone confined to an uncomfortable, stiff bed was miserable and lonely. But now, he has you to look forward to.
Eichi knows you’re not actually a cure, but he swears that just the sight of you makes him feel physically and mentally rejuvenated! You help his state of mind, and his physicality.
He calls you sickeningly sweet names, and makes metaphors that you swear could make you actually melt. His favorites being “my beloved” and “sweetheart”.
Sometimes you don’t understand all the compliments he gives you in the form of metaphors, but they get the message across. Plus, he thinks you look cute asking him to explain.
He loves to kiss your hand and place it on his cheek, it’s calming to him, and he believes it to be a good luck charm before a live!
Eichi loves you a ton, and he will always make sure that you know it.
#eichi tenshouin#tenshouin eichi#enstars x reader#enstars#ensemble stars x reader#ensemble stars#request#reqs open#eichi tenshouin x reader
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