#if I had a dollar for every time a ship of a fandom i was in got revealed as cousins I'd have two dollars

[evilkaeya]

THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT KAITO AND SHINICHI ARE COUSINS??

[jocysoto]

This right here. I was that kid and I hold the same opinion years later, it’s all about having a fun time

Tbh the problem with ship wars is that everyone tries to find a moral high ground to prove their ship is superior when actually shipping should be about making two characters kiss like a kid playing with barbie dolls

[beartitled]

I think Normal Bill is almost just as intelligent and knowledgeable as his canon counterpart, since he had more time to focus on science and such instead of chaos and despair and.. just about every problem in the book.

Can he also still see through trees and The All Seeing Eye on the dollar bill?

Does he have all the powers of Canon Bill?

How does he feel about Ford and Dipper?

What would he think if he saw his parents?

And.. how does he feel about all the.. imagery of him throughout the world? (Remember how Ford had a fucking golden statue of him? And with the cave paintings.. and the dollar bill, the pyramids have a vague eye shape on them (since canonically they were statues of Bill until the top hat and hands fell off) The Eye Of Providence being a sign for God.. yeah it’s REALLY suspicious, I don’t think he really trusts the Pines family at this point, because they are horrible at hiding things, you don’t need to be an all seeing god to know that.

(Sorry for the long rant, I just love this AU)

Don’t apologise for a rant 🫵 I love rants, my brain just can’t comprehend them sometimes 💥

And also aww 🥹 glad you enjoy this AU ❤️

Okay lemme try answering 👏

First yes, absolutely, he’s a smart boi

His energy is just in the nerd stuff now, instead of chaotic insane vibes he has in the canon

Yea and I think he considers it normal lmao

“Wait what do you mean you don’t see through trees Mabel? Like.. I thought everyone did??”

He’s a smart boi, but he is oblivious in some instances

Not sure about all powers, but some for sure

Also this Bill walks everywhere, bc he never saw humans fly and didn’t consider trying (maybe he saw one human attempt it and decided to never try it himself 💀)

I honestly not really sure

Again not my initial idea, but remember one person saying that Bill would have some intrusive thoughts about Pines time to time, not understanding where they come from and probably feeling really guilty about those

But ultimately I think he would consider them a semi family to him

If y’all want a more detailed answer

He’s probably the closest to Mabel, bc she’s a forgiving person and treats Bill as a new person

This version of Bill would be in a girls squad and hang out with them during sleepovers (he’s a gossip girl come on 💅)

Dipper would still be cautious around Bill (as well as Ford), but would get used to him over time forming some sort of brotherly bond

Also Bill would ship Dipper and Pacifica, occasionally playing cupid for them during Dipper crushing on Wendy

He saw an opportunity to tease Dipper (and he said it would be a good enemies to lovers trope)

When people said “Stan would’ve taken that shot” yea, he would kill the child

But perhaps after seeing Mabel being buds with Bill, he just might be a little less defensive

It could both ways really: either Stan would be completely against Bill, but grow to tolerate his presence with occasional (semi)friendly bullying; or Stan would double down and just actively trying to kick Bill out

Either way they would have some sort of rivalry for sure

He would be buds with Soos and Wendy, just chilling with em on the occasion

And the last but not least Ford

He would be the most paranoid and cautious, not because he’s afraid of Bill like Dipper, but because Ford is afraid of “trigger the old Bill inside”

He and Dipper had an agreement to hide all possible information that could potentially remind Bill about his old self (all the Pines agreed to it too to some extent)

Were they successful in it? Who’s to say

Bill obliviousness saved em a bunch of times

And to address the elephant in the room: no, Billford does not exist in this AU

*booing can be heard across the fandom space* NO, YOU’RE NOT GETTING OLD MAN YAOI ON THIS ONE

🍅💥🐻‍❄️ *tiny bear screaming*

Anyway

I just don’t think it would be fitting in that particular scenario

Don’t get me wrong I like canon Billford (I love the memes and the fact that they are implied to be canon exes is hilarious), but canon Billford

This particular AU just makes the situation incredibly specific 💥

I tried to imagine a scenario where Billford could happen (like i dunno, they gave baby Bill to Oracle and then met his “normal” version)

But with the direction in which this AU went, I think it’s best to leave Ford and Bill with a platonic/parental relationship

To be fair it would be incredibly weird to raise your ex in a baby form 😭💥

But I never actually considered to continue this AU originally, so um 💥💥

I think Ford would just eventually start treating Bill like Mabel: he’s a new person now and to keep that new person undamaged, you need to keep a lot of information hidden (for everyone’s and Bill’s own sake)

This version of Bill and Ford would get along, bc they would both be nerds

(btw Bill’s design is similar to Ford, bc this is how nerds look 🤓💅/silly) (but you can adapt it in a way that Ford just had an influence on Bill, they have a family nerd look™️)

I’m still not sure what kind of time paradox shenanigans the went through to raise Bill tho 💥

This

Honestly I think it would be hilarious if he just thought it was some different guy

“A triangle… with one eye… what if.. naaaah I don’t have a top-hat”

Anyway thank u for the ask ❤️ hope it was fun to read through💥

[pigeonxp]

ok now that bt is FINALLY bones, all i really have to say is fuck yall for real. there are some of yall that arent that bad, but the overwhelming majority of you guys are actually fucking awful. i have had twitter mutuals be harassed by yall, i have had friends harassed, ive seen people i dont even follow being called horrific things and insulting their appearances, and so so much more. one thing that really sticks out is the blatant misogyny that some of you guys present. the amount of men that have gone online and confidently called women bitches and sluts and whores and cunts and hoes is genuinely fucking deranged, and i hope you all know that. there have been bt stans in my replies and my inbox and in my business, telling me that IM in the wrong for stating my opinions on the weird ass shit theyve been doing, telling me that they "dont feel welcome" in this fandom, and that they feel like this fandom is toxic and etc etc etc etc I DONT CARE BRO. i have said it once and ill say it again and again. some of you guys are just not meant to be in fandom spaces. there are block buttons for a reason. you can block people and tags and literally everything under the sun but you continue to SEEK OUT shit that makes you mad or that you dont agree with just so you can hate on the OPs in their replies. you dont seem to understand that people can have opinions on what characters they like and what ships they enjoy, and that other people have the right to criticize them. i am NOT sorry and i will NOT apologize for how i may have reacted. i do NOT feel bad for you. we all told you that this wasnt going to last, the showeunner said it wasnt going to last. the ACTOR said it wasnt going to last. and instead of using critical thinking skills and media literacy training, you got tattoos for this ship, you spent hundreds of dollars on cameos from a nepo baby, and you spent days of your lives hating on and harassing people over a FICTIONAL TV SHOW. instead of being upset at LFJR for leading yall on, you attacked oliver stark for being "biphobic"??@?!?!??!!??!÷*×(!&×,@ for having an opinion on his own character, especially after he spent time becoming genuinely one of the biggest bisexual allies i have ever seen. after he told reporters that he was planning on playing buck as bi anyway, after he made post after post saying how excited he was for bucks storyline, and after he advocated for this character he loves so dearly. you jumped down his throat for no reason. i have absolutely no sympathy for you. i really do hope you follow lfjr back to SWAT and i truly hope he gets every single line and every single scene just to keep him off of my fucking screen. 🫶

[heavens-aesthetic-kitchen]

Why the TF2 Defense Trio deserve more recognition

The people have spoken, I have decided to create an essay disguised as a post on this godforsaken website because it's a free country goddammit! (I would have done it either way lmaooo, I have a lot of shit to say about these maniacs) To start this formal essay glorified very serious shitpost, why should you as a tf2 fan care about these 3 men? They're so "boring" and there's not much going on with them. If ya took a second, let's pause with what was being said. YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND to think such thoughts, we must shake you out of cuckoo land by giving you an in-depth look into these three so that you understand where I'm coming from. Let's start in order:

Demoman:

After being in the fandom since 2019, there's always one character I always thought wasn't given much anything in the fandom at all. Even taking ships out of the equation, there's barely any fics I've that focus on Tavish Finneagan Degroot specifically that I've seen that isn't a compilation fic (I read a lot of x readers, don't judge me). Believe me, I checked ao3. I went through Demoman's tags and I tried very hard to filter a lot of the crossover and relationship tags, yet there's less of Demoman himself, than there's him just existing as a side character of a story. Which is honestly sad, I honestly think Demo is one of the more kinder mercs compared to a lot of the team. This man made friends with the BLU soldier, despite knowing that they were supposed to be killing each other. Sure, it's unclear whether or not Demo did actually go through with it and it's just a ruse, because the voicelines in WAR! don't have a set timeline. But I do think that Demo would have tried to keep his friendship with BLU soldier. He's very chill. I've never actually seen him get violent against his friends and family, despite being a drunkard. I honestly think he's one of the sweetest people in TF2, he takes good care of his mom and haunted sword lmaoooo. Jokes aside, he seems like a genuinely good man and I barely see anything that suggests he's sadistic. He's a chaotic and loud, but not bad. Not bad at all. The fact he can still do his job well, even after drinking so much that his body created a whole distillery, is even more impressive. He is damn good at what he does and works very hard. He's had multiple jobs, even as wee little lad. Despite what people think of him, the fact he's getting paid 5 million dollars a year, is proof he knows what he's doing. He loves his job and couldn't bear the thought of not working. I feel like his backstory isn't talked about enough in the fandom either. When you think about it, it's kinda fucked up that he was put in an orphanage by his biological parents until he was in the right age to be blowing people up. Not only that, his eye socket was haunted by the Bombinomicon so that every halloween a giant eye would manifest, attacking him and his friends. Even Medic couldn't help him and instead resorting to scooping the part of Demo's brain where he remembered so he would stop asking. He most likely has a lot of stories for you, I see him as the type that has a lot to say. His past is the most fleshed out and complete out of all the mercs, which I really appreciate, you can do a lot more with him. Also another thing, during Unhappy Returns, he took the time to reassure Soldier that he wouldn't think he's a civilian. He didn't brush Soldier's worries aside and instead comforted him. I wish I had a lot more to say about Demo because I am baffled that he isn't being gushed about as a potential partner. He has the excitement and like zero baggage. A thing I also wanna point out is that he seems to be insecure of the fact he's a black scottish man with only one eye during Meet The Demoman. I may be reading into things a bit too much, but it makes me wanna be like "NOOOO don't talk about yourself like that, bro. You're so cute UGHHH" Also also he's handsome. Sure looks can be subjective, but I still think Demo has a face I would kiss hehe. He looks great with his beard and his cheeky ass smile. GOD I could gush about him all day, but I have to move on rip.

Heavy:

Honestly, I'm having a hard time just finding the words to describe this amazing man without giving him the respect he deserves. But I'll sure try. Heavy has had a difficult life and I've always admired how strong he was. Not just of his muscles, but he endured one of the toughest situations and still kept moving forward with his life even though it was traumatizing. You see why I'm even having a hard time talking about him? I can't really get down into the weeds, without getting serious for a min. I feel like the fandom doesn't give him much credit for being able to deal with so much. He's the rock for his family after his father disappeared (atp I think he's dead, which is the cherry on top this depressing sundae) and I wouldn't doubt that he would be the same for his team. He's a man of few words, but that makes him all the more intriguing. Just because this man has a lot of brawn does not mean he's dumb at all. Despite how he acts in the battlefield, Heavy is observant and clever. Although, it's implied that Spy being Scout's dad is an open secret between the mercs and Miss Pauling, the fact he figured it out without saying it directly must mean he has a lot more going on. He's also educated, getting a phD in Russian Literature. It's not a STEM program, but he actually got a doctorate and went to college, that's a lot more than half of what the mercs did lmaooo. Also he has a bit of a softie side, not just for his mom and sisters, but also other creatures as well. I respect him so much for avoiding violence against those dogs during the Showdown comic. Not only shows what an absolute sweetheart he is, but also how much he's able to think quickly on his feet. Heavy is very direct and blunt, I don't see him as the type to lie about his feelings. I appreciate that he doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything, he'll get the job done and he ain't playing. There's no fluff, he knows what he wants and that's to rev up Sasha and ram through sons of bitches without any worries.

I feel like I wanna point out, his story seems the most unexplored in the fandom, even though it has a lot of potential for ANGST factor. I already broke down how sad it is, but I just feel like it isn't said enough. Can I just say how cuddly he looks?! GAH, I feel like he would give the warmest hugs! The way he smiled in Unhappy Returns when he finds out his family doesn't need to live in fear anymore, just melts my heart! He's so protective over his family and friends! I wish I had a lot more to say about this guy because I just can't stop finding more things about him that go unappreciated. I had to literally edit this part so many times before moving on, he just has those little details you don't notice until you take a second and have that OH MY GOD moment

Engineer:

I was getting so hyped, when it was finally our resident southern nerd's time to shine. GOD I have so much to say about this man. It's been over 5 fucking years and I have never stopped simping for this man since 2019, I think I'm gonna go insane from how much I've been repressing, I go feral when he's around. Anyways enough stalling. I don't ever think a fictional character has ever made me swoon quite like Engineer, I really mean that. I have ask and pleaded to whatever god was listening to give me a man like Engie. To me, he is everything I ever wanted and more.

First, I wanna talk about what makes him attractive to me. His accent. His southern charm, UGH he's killing me with that smooth voice and chivalry! I swear this man could make me faint just from existing. The way he smiles is so warm, his insults are so corny I love them. That five o clock shadow GAHH! I'm getting butterflies all over again. I swear I love all three of the defense bois, but Dell Conagher has my heart wrapped around his gunslinger metal finger. All those personal reasons aside, I've always thought Dell Conagher was a very interesting character in the world of TF2. He might not have much screen time or goofy shenanigans like the other mercs, but that doesn't mean you can ignore him oh no no no. This man is important within the whole story of Mann Co and TF industries, his grandfather being the catalyst of the game's events and the comics going forward. The Conaghers are the SOLE REASON why Team Fortress 2's story exists. I find it strange that the fandom hasn't done much with this fact because you can do a lot with this idea. Engineer knows a lot of shit and would be the biggest threat to Helen, if not for the fact that his family has been helping her for years.

Like his backstory, he's not seen much in the battlefield, but he has a lot more going on behind the scenes. Imagine the possibilities. He is damn intelligent and he knows it. While Dell is very sweet and has a southern charm, this is a facade to hide his God complex and sadistic tendencies. If you think this man is just your boring gentle engineer, you've got a big storm coming. It's heavily implied that he sawed off his own arm so that he could use the gunslinger. This man works on projects with Medic and doesn't question the moral implications of putting a human brain in a pumpkin. Hell, he threatened his own employer, even if he was an old man (Granted, Blutarch dug up his grandpa's grave, so he probably should have gotten something a lot worse than just Dell telling him to fuck off). Engineer is more than the texan egghead sweetie pie, he is a mercenary for a reason and I would argue that he might be as insane, if not more than, the rest of the team. No sane man would willingly work with a bunch of war criminals if he wasn't also crazy. That's the thing I really like about him. I love playing as him in the game because it represents his character very well. He technically serves a supportive role to the team with his buildings, but he is a killer with a lot of tools in his disposal, With the right amount of training, he can absolutely dominate in the battlefield.

I feel like he's one of the people that underestimate and assume that he's an easy target, but he's a lot more than that. He has a lot of layers that makes me want to learn more about him and what he has to offer.

In Conclusion:

These guys are cool. Lmaooo okay I won't just end it there. I genuinely believe that they're not getting the recognition that they deserve, they've got a lot more going for them if you pay attention. Sure they might not always be the loudest or most prominant character in the story, but what they lack in quantity, they make up for in quality TEN FOLD. They don't have to be your favourite, but you should at least give them a chance. You never know, they may surprise you.

Okay so thats enough of that, I couldn't find a divider above this message, so you're getting this grainy ass gif. Honestly, I put way too much effort on this shitpost lmaooo, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out in a more concise manner. If you want to add more stuff about these three that I didn't mention, feel free to do so. Anyways thanks for reading

[xray-vex]

Please help! I am a queer disabled artist and need to move out of my ex's place!!

Realizing I never shared this on here, so here it is.

I am in desperate need of financial help right now while I endure a very difficult phase of my life. Last November I ended a 12-yr relationship, and around the same time had my hours severely cut at my contract job (I am ineligible for unemployment). I am disabled with ADHD and severe anxiety and it has been difficult for me to find work (my current gig is remote work designing ads for social media). My car is old and in need of thousands of dollars of maintenance which I cannot afford, and this also means I don't have reliable transportation.

I am rapidly going into pretty bad debt and am trying my best to raise enough money to help me move out. While not ideal, I will have to live with family while I get back on my feet (I had an abusive childhood and have to move back in with my parents). It is a cross-country move and therefore pretty expensive - the estimated shipping cost for the U-pack cube is $3600 alone. Beyond that, I will need air fare, expenses for my cat, etc. Right now, my target move date is late Sept. 2024 but I've had to push that date back a couple of times already, partly because I don't have enough money and also because I am struggling to function at all. I also recently was assigned a new doctor and will have to sort things out with them to make sure I have enough of my medications for a few months after I move to give me time to get new doctors in my new location.

I have set a goal of $4,000 to help me get through this terrible time in my life. I've raised about 41% of that so far, and I'm so grateful to all my supporters and patrons!

For transparency, I also have a Gofundme shared with family & friends who I am not out to, re: my queerness (*so far it has only had limited success, as I’m not active on the social media accounts connected to those folks). I’ve kept that separate from my socials in fandom due to deadname etc.

Other ways you can help support me: I have a Redbubble store that sells a bunch of my designs on merch. It doesn’t make me very much money at all, but every little bit helps: https://www.redbubble.com/people/xray-vex/shop

I am also attempting to get my shit together to accept commissions from people, so I will update soon with that info hopefully.

Thank you for reading!!

[lover-of-mine]

https://www.tumblr.com/lemotmo/755374254590246912/can-we-take-a-minute-to-talk-about-how-todays-bts

This is spot on. The BT fandom has worked so hard to completely try and twist the narrative 9-1-1 has put forward. I’m not surprised Oliver is blocking people and not promoting the ship because there isn’t anything worth promoting and if I were him or a showrunner I would also be annoyed that a small amount of fans are trying to hijack a storyline. BT fans act like the general audience loves Tommy when I genuinely think the general audience just does not care one way or another about Tommy. Because the show has not given any reason to care about him. The only people that care so strongly (either liking or disliking him) are fandom people online who are stuck in discourse. That is not the majority of viewers. We’re going into season 8 - we don’t have a guarantee of how many seasons are left. Now that they’ve moved networks and we’re given the green light they’re going to focus on the storyline that wraps up their main characters arcs in the most satisfying way (which based on everything we’ve seen in this show is Buddie) not trying to start from scratch for both Buck and Eddie with new relationships. And if they DID want to pair Buck and Eddie with other people they would’ve actually tried to develop Buck and Tommy in season 7 and they very purposefully didn’t.

clickable link for the post because it's very spot on

The thing with the cameos is that it turned a narrative that was supposed to be about Buck and turned it into a narrative about Buck and Tommy. There is nothing in canon that backs up the idea that Tommy is anything other than just some guy. The show didn't restart at season 7 and if they wanted to make Buck and Tommy something with a fighting chance, Tommy would've existed in the narrative beyond the coming out plotline. Taylor's storyline was complete with beef with lafd personnel and a canon tragic backstory. If they wanted to make people care about Tommy they would've. They made it with Taylor with 4 episodes. You want me to believe they couldn't do it with Tommy after 6? Lou was putting out headcanon after headcanon and people took that as gospel as if he was reading scripts and had input from writers when Lou said in an interview that they didn't even tell him what label Tommy was supposed to have when they filmed the kiss. The show created a very clear narrative that shows that the relationship is not that serious. And if we are taking word of god as canon, Tim said that it's a "level entry relationship" and used the word "first fling" multiple times. First implies a second and fling is as unserious as it can get. The actual show is saying something, the creator of the show is saying the same thing. But sure, the actor they are paying and prompting has more say than the actual source material 🙄🙄. This story is about making Buck bi. Nothing else. If they wanted to make this be a Buck finally found his person, they would've developed Tommy into someone who's at least a little bit likeable, not continuously make him look worse every time he opens his mouth. If Oliver really is frustrated with this and blocking people because people hijacked the storyline he's telling, he has every right to be. He wanted to tell a nice story about Buck being bi and now he's caught having to dodge people who want him to walk up to the creators and say they have to marry Buck and Tommy by 802 or else he walks, when he clearly just wanted it to be about Buck's identity. Somehow Buck got pushed to the background of his own story by this very loud group of people while being aided by an actor who's creating a pr nightmare. The story is about Buck exploring bisexuality not about Buck falling in love with Tommy and it's painfully clear. The fact that people can't see it because someone paid a dude 100 and something dollars to say they are "thriving" is madness and shows the lack of basic media literacy.

[dalia1784]

I feel as though enough time has passed that I can be open about Ducktales and the fandom at large. Though in all seriousness the fandom can be a bit uptight when it comes to anyone leaving anything but praise.

Ever since Ducktales (2017) ended, I've had a lot to think about in regards to how I feel about the show as a whole.

Throughout the run of the show and as of recently I found that I lean in favor of the comics that inspired the franchise as a whole. By the time the series was coming to an end my feelings overall were inherently mixed.

On one hand there were moments, characters, and lines that worked and even made me laugh; but on the other it felt at times I was watching what essentially felt like a multimillion dollar fanfiction that tried to alter characters (the results varied from character to character), make some changes that were questionable, and left lots of character development and major plot points unresolved in favor of cramming in references to other Disney Afternoon shows as well a Millennial and Gen Z humor that was extremely hit or miss.

You can't even blame solely the cancellation for any of the unresolved stories and unanswered questions, because in all honesty it's complicated as to who is to blame. But these tend to come to mind: Writers/Showrunners, Disney's Standards and Practices, out of touch focus groups, and of course Disney themselves.

Other than the show itself, the fandom experience was just as mixed, I love all the friends and fans I made over the years and am forever grateful for them. What I found to be abhorrent was how many fans were chased away for the most petty and nonsensical reasons.

Didn't like a popular ship? You were chased off and called a terrible person.

Didn't support popular a headcanon (especially ones in regards to neurodiversity, sexuality, and gender)? You were instantly labeled as (fill in the blank)-phobic.

Liked a villain that wasn't Magica, The Beagle Family, Bradford, or Glomgold? You were instantly shamed and falsely accused of a laundry list of things.

Had concerns or criticisms about certain popular characters and plot points? You were called every name in the book and labeled as not a real fan.

I know this has always been a common thing in all fandoms but with Ducktales it got out of hand quite a lot.

Remember when Moonvasion first aired and how everyone reacted to Launchpad asking Penumbra out, it unleashed the most rabid and vile fans who managed to chase away a sizable portion of the fandom.

Remember when some fans were critical of the fact that Della was never told how much her disappearance had caused turmoil for her friends and family or how she didn't face any serious confrontation about her actions from her family? You still have fans to this day labeling anyone who brings this up as misogynistic haters because god forbid anyone has some problems with a character story wise.

Bottom line I still enjoy Ducktales for what it's worth, but the fandom can sometimes be hypocritically obnoxious.

Sorry I needed to vent this out completely and with that, I shall return to minding my own business and drawing.

[gemharvest]

Gf for the character thing ? :] or maybe Nene if you received her already

I HAVEN'T RECEIVED HER YET THANK YOU !!!!!!!!! I'll do Nene too, I'll just make it her own post after posting this. :J

favorite thing about them: I love her dumbgirl swag. There's something so special to me that both her and Boyfriend are fuckin'. Dumb As Rocks. ALSO I LOVE THAT SHE'S CANONICALLY AN ARTIST that's such a sweet thing to me. I would pay one morbillion dollars for a GF commission (because she has no idea how they work).

least favorite thing about them: I WANT HER TO DO MOREEEEHGNJFN.. Like she's probably done as much as BF has so that's not a critique of the game, I just wanna see her do more. Because I love women. Oh also I think they should remake every canon piece depicting her and make her canonically fat. I often forget she isn't fat in canon and then I feel sickly when I look at like, the volume 1 cover and she's thin. W-Whe';re h.er tumm-.my go..,m,l,l,...,, <- sorry for crytyping but it fits.

favorite line: That's how you do it! <- I was gonna jokingly just go up down left right but then I remembered she says that in the tutorial. And I quote it to myself all the time so.

brOTP: Y'know what, similar to BF, I think a GF & Darnell friendship would be fuckin' s-tier. I often think abt this post Keyy made tbh. I know that's specifically the Funkycule AU and pup has them in a QPR but I do think abt it often. Also, before I was a romantic PicoGF guy my interpretation of RGB had Pico & GF as just friends, probably closer friends the longer they're in their relationships with BF cuz like, bonding over a shared partner or smthn LMAO so I'll give an honorable mention to Pico & GF friendship.

OTP: WOag. RGB. Wow I've never heard of that before. How many times can I joke about RGB being my OT3 for this game before it gets annoying LMAO anyways. I ALSO REALLY LOVE GFNENE I wish they had more fics. So bad. I'm actually shocked by how bare their tag on AO3 is. They weren't lying, fandom does hate femslash. /hj

nOTP: Is there anyone out there who actually ships her with Senpai. I think that'd be my only answer ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT. I chickened out on saying it with BF but I also consider BF and Senpai a nOTP but like, I DON'T HATE ANYBODY WHO SHIPS IT. OF COURSE. I don't think it's "problematic" to ship Senpai with either of them it's just, like, the most thought I have on Senpai is that I want to kick sand into his eyes. So that feeling doesn't really translate into a desire to see him shipped with anyone. I'm sorry to anybody who ships Senpai with either of them, I respect your grind, it is just sooooo not for me.

random headcanon: This headcanon is like, so deep into my personal GF characterization/ fuckin'. AU. If you wanna call it that atp. BUT ANYWAYS. Fuck this is gonna need quick background hold on. The canon explanation for her looking human iirc is literally just "true love" or whatever tf. But that's not as fun to play with. So instead I like to write her as being ashamed of being a demon, especially because of her parents' actions, so she masks her demon traits. And she reaaaalllly does not like letting them slip through, especially around a specific person (this is foreshadowing for something idek if I'll get to any time soon Sorry). BUT! She is on a limit for how long she can hide her demon traits until doing so starts to hurt her, either through draining her energy or like, it causing physical damage to continue hiding parts of her. And while she trusts Pico & BF, she's still got shit that she's just. Not. Sorting out. So when she feels she's about to reach a limit with it she locks herself away to rest until she's well enough to continue like normal. Girlie No (guy who is writing her to do this) (don't worry I'm going to also write her getting better abt this) I'm gonna eventually have to make a "Karl's Personal FNF Demon World Building" master-post or whatever just cuz this shit is so fun for me to work with Idk.

unpopular opinion: GEH once again idrk if this is an unpopular opinion but I've been using this to just. Complain. About stuff I have seen and disagree with so whatever I'm continuing the trend. Like Pico, I feel like I see. So many. Interpretations of her that just feel Wrong. Like I see people make her The Smart One or like. Dominant Girlboss with little substance beyond that. And it's like. Cool, yay, I love fandom misogyny. FUCK it's probably still rotting in my drafts but forever and always my reaction to this phenomenon with her is "This girl gets her hand stuck in peanut butter jars trying to eat pb with her hands. This is your Smart One?" and I should get it out of my drafts bc I'm real for that. DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME WHEN I SAY THIS BTW. Interpretations that smarten up BF to the same degree do not flag this to me. When making more serious fanworks with these guys, you're gonna have to give them more smarts than canon will. My issue is specifically when I have seen people still write in a degree of stupidity with BF and then just. Don't? Do the same with GF?

song i associate with them: Very basic but I think the sound is cute with her. My secondary answer would be Nelward - "Werewolf" but that's more of a. Specific Instance. That I don't want to elaborate on. grins

favorite picture of them:

Like literally all of them The Fuck you're making me choose? /silly Here's the fruits of me looking through her wiki gallery:

^ If I had to pick a single favorite, it'd be those panels from the Nendoroid comic. She was real for that. Anyways FUCK I love her. Statements improved when you remember I'm Boyfkin LMAOOOOOO..

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda Under Cut

Casca

She is part of a weird fucked up love triangle with two dudes. All three of them are honestly kind of terrible for each other but she gets shoved aside in favor of the two dudes in most fics and is not allowed to grow past the toxic relationships of her past. Also she’s a cis woman who dresses pretty masculinely (because she’s in a mercenary band) so she gets type casted as the mean lesbian friend, when she’s straight in canon

Probably an instance of this being taken to canon, as Griffith (Traitor) tortures her to victimize Guts (protag), because Griffith's psychosexual desires to control everyone, especially Guts. Fandom types side with Griffith because he is an attractive white boy. 

She's an incredibly interesting character in her own right with really good dynamics and parallels to Griffith and Guts, and the way those three play off of each other is integral to the story, but most of what I've seen completely ignores her in favor of focusing on only Griffith and Guts

Kaede Akamatsu

She is a good person with good intentions in canon, and she takes care of the people she likes. However, in fanon, especially with a popular pairing, she is again the WOMAN who is either homophobic or the mean lesbian. Justice for Kaede tbh

I hate to be bringing up Danganronpa. But oh my god. This fandom used to be KNOWN for it's toxic treatment towards the female love interests of the male protagonists, and she is notoriously known as THE victim of yaoi for the entire fandom. She's a pianist and the supporting character, having some really cute moments with Shuichi Saihara, the (male) main character. Especially in 2019, she suffered immense hate because of the amount of Saiouma shippers, the most popular V3 ship and in the top 2 for the entire fandom which is the ship between Shuichi and Kokichi Ouma, the (also male, just like Shuichi, hence the yaoi victim) antagonist of the game. If I had a dollar for every time I saw people hating on her, specifically just because she "gets in the way" of Saiouma, I would be able to buy V3 at least sixteen times.

classic yaoi victim- most fics have her so OOC it hurts, what is it with 12 y/o saiouma shippers and turning her into a homophobic fuckass for the sake of their shitty wattpad yaoi-

[lemotmo]

You know I’ve tried so hard to stay neutral on the whole Lou/Tommy of it all. But he did another cameo, which he apparently upped the prices the 145 a video?? But he did another one and he dismissed all of Tommy’s past behavior as being corny and teasing which…does not sit right with me. Like racism, misogyny, toxicity, silent compliance of it all….is not just being corny and teasing. And then he ends the video by talking about Tommy came in at the last minute to save the day and save Bobby and Athena so everyone should be good with him now….. like now we’re taking credit for Hens stuff too?

Idk none of that sat well with me at all and if he is sticking around for any of season 8 I think I need the show to just be like no more cameos from you or something.

Hi Nonny, hope the rest of your day was great. Don't allow things like this to get to you too much. If you feel you need a break from social media, make sure to take it. There is already enough stress in real life, don't let it seep into your fandom life as well. Take care of yourself first. You deserve only the best.

Now on to your ask:

I haven’t seen the cameo you are talking about. I have no desire to see that cameo either. I’ve watched one of Lou’s cameos, way back in the beginning when he started doing them. I found it funny, if a little weird that someone would pay for that, but to each their own.

I’ve been hearing about these cameos more and more lately. And yes, they have started to bother me. Mostly because it seems that Lou is charging these people up to 125 dollar (I’ve even read 145 dollars) to talk about the things ‘he’ thinks or believes to be true about Tommy or Buck/Tommy. Basically he’s talking about his own headcanons as an actor. Which again, is fine, because if it helps him to act better, why not?

The problem lies in the fact that some people have started taking Lou’s headcanons for reality. They hear what he says and see it as ‘canon’ because (right now) Buck/Tommy is a canon couple. While it is true that Buck/Tommy is canon, Lou’s headcanons are just that, little fanfictions he made up in his head. It’s a dangerous road to go down, because where does it end? When Buck/Tommy eventually break up, a lot of people will feel misled by him. It won’t be pretty.

So therefore, I’ve decided to never watch any of his cameos. I’m not really interested in his fantasies for the guest character he plays on my favourite show. I’d much rather be focusing on what 911 is actually showing us on our screens. I focus on the nuances and little details that they want us to pick up on.

Sometimes there are small things that seem inconsequential, but turn out to be very important episodes later. Everything matters on television. There are no coincidences. The writers craft the story, every single thing is planned out for the scene, the actors act it out and we watch on in complete fascination. There is no room for a guest actor’s headcanons or fantasies in a prime time show like this.

That being said though, if he truly dismissed Chimney and Hen’s plight under Captain Gerrard as mere ‘teasing’, that is factually wrong. If you go back to watch the scenes in question, there is bigotry, blatant racism and sexism. It makes me wonder if he even remembers the scenes in question. Did he rewatch them before he came back for season 7? We’ll never know.

But it does highlight, once again, that it isn’t smart to give this guy a platform to talk about his personal headcanons. He was always bound to say something dumb that would piss people off at some point. And here we are today, pissed off and annoyed.

I also want to remind everyone that it wasn’t Tommy who is the real ‘hero’ in the story of saving Bathena on the cruise ship. It was Hen Wilson, who had a bad feeling in her gut and decided to follow that feeling. She got the ball rolling, then Chimney jumped to her aide, because he always will. Buck and Eddie decided to join in, without hesitation, because again—they always will. Tommy was merely the helicopter pilot who flew them all in.

By that definition they are all the heroes in this narrative, which is why they all get medals next episode. But it is only Hen who was smart enough to follow her gut. If all the others are ‘heroes’? Hen Wilson is the only ‘big damn hero’.

I do believe Tommy might be sticking around for the beginning of season 8, because I’m not sure there will be enough time to deal with a proper break up in two episodes. Unless Tim surprises me and actually does manage to pull it off.

But yes, someone should just tell him to stop doing those cameos if his character is to carry over to season 8. It’s starting to get a little worrisome at this point. Charging people to talk about your own fantasies for your character, feels a little exploitative.

Whatever happens with him in season 8, ultimately I’m not really worried about Tommy to be honest. Lou’s stint on 911 is coming to an end pretty soon, one way or the other.

Consider this topic closed for me now. I’ve said all I wanted and needed to say. I don’t feel like wasting any more of my time thinking about or writing about this man and his cameos. I’d rather spend my precious fandom time on the things that matter: the amazing people I’ve met, watching the show and crying copious amounts of tears over these characters I’ve come to love so much, theorising and speculating about what might happen in the next episodes and next season, and above all talking about Buddie—my favourite pastime. 😊

[serenabenson]

for the ask game: 17 & 19 !!!

hello, finally getting to these, i had a very offline weekend but i am now ready to be cantankerous for no reason on main <3. i am cracking my knuckles, i am channeling my best fran lebowitz, i am trying to be the brainrotted man's dollar store dorothy parker. let's go.

choose violence ask game

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

warming up with a softball. i am not sure exactly what the current state of svu art is as i don't see it, so i'm going to answer this for fic. imo, a healthy fic ecosystem has a lot of variety— in genre, in skill level, ships, length, intention, canon season they’re working in, in creativity, and in subject matter— and ideally the authors would be collegiate with each other, or at the very least, civil, to allow for cross-pollination of ideas. having been an avid ao3 browser for the past several years, i think the toxicity of the current iteration of the svu fandom, the intership hostility, the burnout from the last three years, and the collective hyperfocus on idealized eo endgame actually works against this, and it is reflected in the current fic landscape (with plenty of notable exceptions, though). selfishly, for my own reading pleasure, i would love to see more character studies, especially characters and relationships that don't get as much attention. i would love to see more realistic examinations of olivia, and of eo. i would like to see more empathetic readings of kathy stabler and the stabler marriage. i would like to see less internalized misogyny in the fic and in the fandom period. i am perpetually on-record as saying that no one has done a groundhog day/time loop/russian doll fic for svu and i think that's such a missed opportunity. an olivia immortality au. more 1.0 era eo dynamics, or at least 2.0/3.0 fic that keeps that continuity. like what i'm really getting at is that i would love to see some more truly transformative work, the more strange and thorny and ambitious the better. and you know what, because i can, i'm actually going to rec a few here that i think illustrate what i'm talking about. this certainly isn't an exhaustive list, just what i could think of immediately, but i feel like it's a good representation: • ali @livbensonfinalgirl's western nights-- ostensibly an eo roadtrip au that then blooms into a challenging, rewarding arthouse film of a fic that takes the sylvia plath fig tree analogy in the bell jar from framing device to metaphor to actual supporting player in the fic itself's finale. deeply strange, deeply wonderful. • speaking of wonderful and strange, thecrowdedbox/poeelektra's soft flesh and a weapon at hand, which in a very slight 740 words doesn't so much have a plot as inverts plot itself, that manages to both be eo coming together while also getting at every single way they do and don't and maybe will. • and then, lastly, your own walkabout, which, for those that have not yet read, is a sprawling, ambitious, atmospheric noir au that remixes canon to illuminate it in a new light, taking the tropes of the detective genre to critique both svu as cop show and the cop show itself, while also delivering a wonderful examination of eo's estrangement and eo's bond, and featuring a very deep bench of supporting characters in creative ways.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

this one is hard, because i don't think i really have an answer specifically about canon or about a character, or something similar. i don't really have a guilty pleasure here. honestly i'm mad/ashamed/horrified i am so neck deep in this show at all. yes i am deeply, embarrassingly attached to it, but i also yearn for freedom, and the peace pre-return of the prodigal son. i could have probably lived my entire life very happily not knowing anything else about svu except what i vaguely remembered from when i was a teenager. i think if i could go back in time to 2021, i would try and keep myself from watching whatever promo it was that tipped me off. rip.

[abyssal-ali]

Gold Rush

Ship: Timari

Rating: G

WC: ~1.0k

A/N: this was written probably two years ago (?) and kinda rushed, so it's not my best work. I did edit a bit and any mistakes or bad plot is mine and not my lovely beta-readers', @kitsun369 and @mothofhearts

Constructive criticism accepted (but please be nice) and any feedback is great!💜

Inspired partially by Taylor Swift's song, Gold Rush. If you recognize little nods to certain lyrics, congratulations! My symbolism didn't go to waste.

For @the-coffee-fandom, @velveteenshadow, @forgottenfriends, @timinette-is-best, @miraculousmelodies and all the other Timari Coven fiends.

Marinette eyed Lila over the rim of her punch glass. She was talking flirtatiously with the host of their trip to Gotham, Wayne Enterpsises' CEO Tim Drake.

Marinette had hoped that he'd use his internationally famous genius to see through Lila's facade, but it seemed like the liar had another victim of her honeyed tongue. At least this time she wouldn't be lying when she bragged about knowing the Timothy Drake (even though everything Lila said after that probably wouldn't be true).

Marinette and Tim had met at the pre-party meet-and-greet, where their hosts formally introduced themselves to their Parisian guests. Marinette had met his eyes as they shook hands and promptly fell into his sparkling ocean-blue eyes that twinkled with amusement at her flushed face. She furiously willed away the heat creeping up her neck and into her cheeks, hoping it wouldn't come back every time she looked at him.

He was quite charismatic and she knew he was one of the most sought-after dates, a handsome heir to two multi-million dollar companies....handsome? She thought beautiful fit him better, with his expressive eyes and lean yet muscled build and hair casually falling into place over his eyes when he shook his head, laughing at a guest's joke.

No, bad Marinette. She had an online boyfriend, and they were going to make it official when they met in person. She was not going to do anything more than admire her host's looks.

Between the meet-and-greet and dancing/socializing part of the party was a fancy dinner, where Marinette sat opposite Tim and they had a delightful discussion.

It kind of reminded her of her DMs with her gaming partner/online boyfriend, RRBurgers (she called him RR). They typed about anything and everything and often debated random things just for fun, to test their wits.

Tim had said something—she was sure it was purposely controversial—and she'd ached to begin a war of words, but responded more mildly than she liked. He had looked surprised, then thoughtful, when she refused to verbally spar with him.

They'd brushed fingers as they crossed paths, completely by accident, and Marinette promptly increased her speed, heading to the powder room to silently talk to herself (and Tikki).

She was in love with RR and didn't need to fall for gorgeous eyes and perfect smiles.

Now, she was seeing red—or at least a shade of rose, the colour of Lila's surprisingly unostentatious dress—as she spied on Mr. Drake and Lila's flirting.

She drained her punch in an annoyed swig, moving to the balcony, and looked at the stars until her jealousy cooled. If Mr. Drake couldn't see Lila for who she was, he deserved her, she told herself.

With a sigh, she leaned on the railing and pulled out her phone to play a round of her favourite game.

She stiffened when Mr. Drake appeared at her elbow. How had she not heard him approach? Then again, the ambient chatter and music were noisy.

“You play well."

“Thanks.” She finished her round (a win) and returned her phone to her purse.

"You play Knights of Mirreile?” Mr. Drake obviously wasn't taking her silence as a hint, or else he was outright ignoring her body language.

“Yes. You know it?”

“I joined to practice my French with native speakers. I'm on the Parisian server, actually—my handle is RRBurgers.” He looked at her curiously.

She took a step back. “RR? I'm LadybugandtheTramp!”

He held out his hand. “Hi, Lady. I'm RR; thrilled to meet you in person.”

She shook it, willing her returning blush to retreat. “Wait a minute...tell me three things only RR and Lady know. Just to be sure.”

Tim grinned at her. “You're wise; this is Gotham, after all.

"Uh, une: I contacted you first, to ask you to teach me some hacks.

"Deux: You have PTSD from Hawkmoth and often can't sleep, so you game, because you don't like sewing as much anymore.

"Trois,” he lowered his voice and stepped closer. Marinette could feel his body heat, even though the air was crisp. “We're a couple in Mireille and when we are planning to meet and date in person. You told me you were in love with me twenty-two days ago, and I replied that I was in love with you too.”

Marinette could barely breathe when she saw the intense look in his eyes. “Uh...I guess you are RR...I'm so glad to finally meet you in person, although it's sooner than I was expecting! You're even cuter than I imagined.”

She enjoyed the pink on his face instead of hers more than she should have.

"Will you go on a date with me tomorrow, Lady?”

"I'd love to!"

" But until tomorrow, would you care to spend our time together dancing?"

The red on Tim's neck spread and Marinette giggled. "Who taught you how to be so smooth? I almost fell for you all over again."

Tim winked at her, took her hand, and led her to the dancefloor. Marinette silently thanked Chloe for insisting on teaching her how to properly waltz, at least.

As they swirled around the room, he complained in her ear. “I talked with Lila. You're right—I can't believe what she made up! When I asked for clarification, the lies got more outrageous! I am so sorry for your suffering.”

Shyly, she admitted, “I was a little jealous of the attention you were paying her. I thought your smarts could see through her but it didn't look like it—you're a good actor."

“Thanks, I have to be.”

At her puzzled look, he explained, “In business meetings, you've got to keep a poker face, especially when you're a young businessperson like me.”

“Oh,” she nodded. “I understand that."

She relished in the angry look Lila sent their way as they twirled past her. Maybe Tikki's powers did rub off on her, building up to this moment. For some reason, she felt secure in the knowledge that she was safe and could be herself.

When she had first met RRBurgers online, she was prepared to keep her distance from him emotionally. It had been just after Ladybug and her team defeated Hawkmoth and she was depressed and suffering PTSD, gaming when she couldn't sleep or had nightmares. But RR had somehow wormed his way into her good graces with his nerdy jokes and similar lifestyle and whacky stories about his family, and the next thing she knew she had a big crush.

They gradually grew closer, DMing every day, and RR had really encouraged her in a way her old friends hadn't been able to do. She had changed a lot after being Ladybug, but they still saw her as Past Marinette. RR was a virtual friend, a blank slate, and knew Present Marinette.

He'd encouraged her to stop sewing if she didn't have a passion for it anymore and not be bound by people's expectations of Past Marinette, but show them Present Marinette.

She hadn't been brave enough to completely act like Present Marinette, but with Tim encouraging her from her side instead of over a screen, she thought she could try now.

Tonight was as good a place to start as any. She approached Lila, Tim's arm around her waist. "Hey, Lila, I see you've met Tim's brother, Dick. Have you told him about that time you heroically saved Jagged's kitten yet?"

~~le fin~~

[mathlann]

Idira for the Send Me a Character Post!

Idira!!!!!

How I feel about this character

Idira breaks my heart and I wish we had more content with her. On the one hand she is genuinely the funniest character in the game and I don't do plot-important quests without her just because I don't want to miss what she has to say. On the other hand as I've been going over her dialogue again, the way she is just..."but Doctor, I am Pagliacci." Like the ways she's just moved from "cruel and exploitative circumstances" to "the same, but more materially comfortable" so she clings to Theodora and Theodora's memory but Theodora never cared for her. And she's proud of being a psyker, but also it's the cause of her woes and the way she just wants someone to care about her, and if she can't have that, then let her be a tool, so long as the voices are quiet and like....Idira, I've rarely wanted to hug a fictional character more.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Idira x Vigdis

Idira x Jae

Idira x A beautiful paradise world where nobody bothers her

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Idira and Jae

Idira and Abelard, I wish we got more dialogue with them together about realizing what Theodora did to them.

Idira and Marazhai. Not in the way that they are friends but something in the way she is, by nature kind of anathema to him (she makes Slaanesh stronger cuz of her walking Warp Magnet energy) and the fact that she has just so much shit going on in her life he doesn't even register as a top 10 scary. Fuck off stick bug, she's got 9 demons in her ear at any one time and a ton of self-loathing, there's nothing he can possibly do to mentally or emotionally harm her more than she harms herself. The fact that she bullies him for even trying to feed off her....and it works...Brava 👑.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Less an unpopular opinion and more a massive bitch but the way the fandom treats Idira is so dehumanizing which is incredibly ironic considering her whole arc as a character. Like, the way Idira was and still is villainized by the fandom for the Demondora incident and the way there were waves of people on the subreddit joking about how the best choice was killing her because it doesn't matter that she was grieving, she was a danger to the whole ship and stupid for having human emotions? In the same fandom where Cassia "my emotions can make people kill themselves due to the stolen Xenotech in my chest" Orsellio is wifey, and Heinrix "becomes a one-man Warp Incursion in the chambers of the Rogue Trader because he got too conflicted about his emotions" van Calox is Mr. Darcy? The Warp isn't suddenly less bad because the person fucking it up is also fucking the Rogue Trader, be serious and forreal. And give Idira one million dollars for every post talking bad on her.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

So much of her story is tied up in Theodora but I would've loved to get a better view of Leira as a planet outside Imperium influence. Or maybe not even Leira but just, her perspective as someone born outside the Imperium because the game doesn't hone in on that as much.

[plasticfangtastic]

Can we be lonely Together?

A Homelander x Stalker!Reader fan fiction

This is my first fic for this fandom (and in a decade lol) this is a bit of a slow burner and will have about 8 to 9 chapters.

This is a Gender Neutral reader (but honestly is just me shipping Homelander with Joe Goldberg... so feel free to see it as a crossover, just not going to make it clear at all in the fic.)

Summary: We were two mouses pretending to be cats, weren't we?

We didn't expect to find ourselves in this situation, but John... Homelander... you were perfect... none of this was a lie, these feelings I got are genuine! So I don't know why you're using such words like: Stalker, Psychotic bitch, Insane, liar! To describe me... after all I've done? To help you!?

You were wrong.

I just yearned to get closer to you. So what if I did my homework? After all it was you who played along.

I knew you knew... you were so loud.

R18+ (there will be smut, drug abuse and gore in later chapters) gore, stalking, killing.

Chapter One

Apologies

It pains me to say this… I'm genuinely ashamed, embarrassed more like it! To admit that I genuinely wasn’t impressed by you. 

        Your face had been painted on every surface to death... It has grown boring.

       Nothing but an overbearing presence to the common man, but the average citizen didn’t loathe you, fear you, hate you or even found you pastiche! They simply adored you. 

        Your face was plastered on everything one could imagine and then some– I’m not just talking mugs by the Target checkout area or birthday cards, and keychains, but sausage packages in the supermarket! Your face wasn’t all that special to me… I used to think of you as nothing more than an aged jock from a John Hughes movie, the tights didn’t fool me, you wore the varsity jacket underneath the foam-- I had bets that you were going to be the worst the world could’ve manufactured if I ever met you.

Now… Now I see… I was wrong… contrite is the word that describes this social faux-paux of mine. 

Now I see… just how… unique you were-- the whole world didn’t have the faintest idea of just the sheer amount of bullcrap you had to endure everyday. Gosh I couldn’t even fathom being in your shoes, the fantasy alone proved heavy, and you had to do it all while looking more well adjusted and prim than Princess Diana during her divorce.

I’m sure you’ll be so divine in that revenge dress too.

I mean… you sort of knew you looked good in women's clothes, Is okay I like adventurous men… I’ll admit  I might've dressed you a couple times in my head… but don’t worry! It was all flattering.

Which in terms of flattering things… it's a shame that this is how you catch me, how we end this farce, this game of pretends... today you could be the cat… I wish at least I had the time to wrap up the plastic sheets, or wash all this off me.

I feel the weight hit my foot directly, I barely wince, but I’m not taking my eyes off of you, feeling wet bubbles and gurgles tickling my bare toes– all I want is to give you decades worth of misplaced attention to those red eyes of yours… I seen your face in a million different ways, but never had I seen it in such vivid technicolor-- There’s no red that can quite match your eyes… as they watch me from this eighteen story window, inside an apartment smaller than your closet (that’s New York city for you kids). I can admit to having fantasized being on the receiving end, it would be fitting for me, us.

This building is so loud, it overwhelms us both, but unlike you right now I don’t have to listen to the upstairs neighbors petty grievances, the next door lady wondering where her kid is at these ungodly hours, the stoner in the elevator, or the homeless man wondering if his dollar store hooch was tainted with something because right now there was the freaking Homelander hovering above him! So I listen to her… right at my feet… gargling… hacking… I didn’t cut deep enough, and we both can hear it… knife still in my hand, her mind is nothing but the flashing lights of a faraway train, it’s ever so silent as the train drives off, all she can think off is a trip to europe when she was a child, and the snow devoured the sun and the music, it was just her, the train, the snow and us now.

“‘Is not what it looks like?’ Is that what you want to say?”

yeah. I mean… Can I? I licked the knife clean as if it was residuals from an apple, trying not to roll my eyes at you.

“Evening… John… Homelander.” My hand is on the window latch letting the cold breeze in, your eyes suffocating me just like the bitch behind us…  I almost whimpered as they lost their candor giving me back blue moons– What brings you here?”

You points behind me, unable to believe I just said that, I give way for you.

Always staring at me– I want to hear your thoughts… for the first time in all my years of life I am yearning to listen, feeling every particle of my being falling apart as they're begging me to listen to your thoughts once more… but I can’t… Right now I’m in Finland, is winter, is cold-- everything you aren’t… because I am sorry… I pry so much.

The way you watch me isn’t undressing me further, I am mostly bare, just underwear and sweat and my soul too tainted for you to want to seek, I can’t make sense of that smirk on your lips that has only now begun to reach your eyes… this somehow has amused The Homelander, your laugh scares me far more than your ray-guns– are you mocking me!? No you…you wouldn't be, you’re gentleman after all, if you wanted to mock me… you would treat me like Miss Barrett, or Kevin.

I mean… I don’t want you to hate me. We are perfect for each other. We would be perfect… so just… let me… explain.

“Where do you like me to start?”

Your foot crushed the skull leaving it nothing but a gummy, clumpy pancake under your booth, sick of hearing it mope and cry for any longer it seems, you immediately threw your cracked phone at my feet.

“The beginning.” The Homelander growled.

[charmwasjess]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions Okay, this is embarrassing, because I got tagged in this like two weeks ago when I was in time zone stupor, copied the prompts out, and then forgot, and I think it was @stellanslashgeode who tagged me - if not, I will cry with embarrassment so don't tell me if I'm wrong.

And :'D I don't remember either who was tagged when it was going around, so here's some no pressure tags (and hop in if you want to play and I didn't tag you!) - @bolithesenate @calcedon79 @purple-ant @reconstructwriter

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

10!! :D Which is totally amazing to me. Where did they come from?! Who made them?!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

Oh god, almost 300k… I don’t have any explanation. 

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Just Star Wars! I can only handle one frenzied obsession at a time.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Sitting in the Dark, Five Days to Murder Sifo-Dyas, The Thunder Answered Back, Milk Run, and hey, aww, wow, Jedi Nights?! 

I’m a little surprised any of my Sifo-Dyas/Dooku stuff beat out anything else, it’s such a little tiny ship!

5. Do you respond to comments? 

I do, it's my favorite part. I get a tremendous amount of inspiration and energy from engaging with people who take the time to talk to me about my work. And friends, too! I have been in my fandom since I was like 11 or 12. I’ve made lifelong friends out of my comment sections.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

I'm a sucker for a happy ending so a lot of them end on an upbeat note, but I can’t imagine The Thunder Answered Back ending on anything other than a mixed note. I'm not gonna be able to undo Order 66, you know? It’s a salvage job, not a fix it. If Jocasta gets through the fic without killing Dooku, we will call it a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

My corny Five Days to Kill Sifo-Dyas probably has the most classical happy ending for the saga but my favorite is the one in Sitting in the Dark - Qui-Gon waking up on the couch with Rael asleep next to him, and listening to Dooku and Jocasta and Sifo-Dyas wash up after the party. That little kid feeling of being safe and sleepy with your adult family happy and laughing softly nearby. 

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Ohhhh, if I had a dollar for every time one of my friends made some joke about me writing Count Dooku porn! But I don't care about that, if they actually read my shit, their pervert asses would become terribly addicted to it. They’d be begging at my door. “More old man yaoi! PLEASE!” (This is a joke, my local friends have been very nice about my return to fic writing and the teasing is loving.)

Weirdly, the nastiest hate comment on a fic I’ve ever gotten was in the Before era, when I was writing fic on my old teen account. It was on a young Knight-age Dooku/Jocasta one shot. It was a simple, very vanilla romantic moment with a T rating at best so I don't really get why the person was so worked up about it? I think they just couldn't get around Dooku and Jocasta (OLD PEOPLE?!?) written as young and attractive. For years, I was horribly embarrassed about the fic, like it must really actually truly suck to have someone spend so much time writing such an extensive hate comment. I must have really fucked up. 

I went back and reread it recently and realized: oh, no, it's a regular fic, they were just a fucking loser.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

The…sex kind!!

But yes, I do! Mostly Sifo-Dyas/Dooku these days, but also Jocasta/Dooku and once or twice the holy Trinity of the three. 

I was REALLY shy about posting it at first and I still kind of can’t believe I did, but it was absurdly good for me as a person. Great for my religious purity culture baggage, my teenage years as a closeted queer person, just a really freeing experience. 

And it’s hot. And you get to think about Dooku saying or thinking the word “erection,” which is worth it just for that. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

Nah, I’m boring.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope, but I have been lucky enough to help with the English in bringing several of Purple Ant’s remarkable works over from Russian. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yep! In the Before time, I cowrote a lot, although I don’t think I posted much. One stands out: I remember this big rambling self-insert (we called them Mary Sues back then) I did with my bestie where we were transported to Star Wars world and we had to… I don’t exactly remember, but I think Obi-Wan falling in love with one or both of us was a big part? I went back and deleted it years later because it was so cringe. But that’s silly too - we were like twelve, of course it was silly and cringe! 

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? 

I tend to be pretty fucking stupid about Syku. 

It’s just. Two people who manage to collectively destroy their own universes together. They’re so connected in such strange, powerful, frightening ways, they know all of each other’s secrets, they were there on the worst days of each other’s lives, and will go on to be each other’s worst day of their life. And the way, even as they change, they can’t get away from each other, even though they both really try, it’s like they’re stuck in two orbits that have to cross. 

And then you read the dumb book, and see that they’re just stupid funny and cute together, idiots who finish each other’s sentences and call each other little nicknames… augh, the bizarre sweetness of it?! It kills me. It’s the narrative doom, but also the weird, enduring love that has Dooku giving Sifo-Dyas a Jedi funeral or trying so earnestly to tell Obi-Wan his crazy version of events with his death, or how Sifo-Dyas goes running back to him for the Clone thing after he already knows so much about how Dooku factors into the end game... 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I will definitely finish The Thunder Answered Back but I kind of doubt I’ll get to the two years worth of content and every individual character’s endgame storyline I envisioned out of it. I'll stick with Dooku, Jocasta, Scout, and Asajj.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

….this is embarrassing, but I tend to think I’m occasionally really funny. 

Even though my fics are really serious and I haven’t written any crack, I really try to put in moments of humor, depending on my POV character’s dialogue or internal monologue. I think my best humor comes about when I can get Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in A Situation, slinging shit back and forth. Those two just take off. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

I overwrite. My fics would be a lot more successful if I tightened up and left more on the cutting room floor. I get over attached to small moments of character at the expense of the plot (and let's be honest, word count.) 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

Hmm, does sign language count? That has been really fun in Rabbit Heart. A huge chunk of the fic happens in sign language. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

It’s got to be Milk Run, by a long shot. I’m really proud of that fic, but it was just such a blast to write. It was so fucking fun. And there’s all these little moments or tiny funny things I’ve left myself in it that are probably only funny to me, but they’re so funny to me. 

….Like, so, at one point in the fic, Sifo-Dyas is pissed at Dooku because he can tell he and Jocasta have been sleeping together, again, and this always happens, and he always has to clean this mess and play mediator when it inevitably implodes (and also maybe he is in love with Dooku a little bit?). So he’s furious about it, but pretending not to be, and so he bitchily tells Dooku the name of his ship is The Haru-Spicy, as in, a cooking pun, instead of the real name, The Haruspicy. And then Dooku spends the entire rest of the fic just wildly mispronouncing the name of the ship in his own POV chapters and to other characters? 

I love to imagine him saying it, all declarative, “The Haru-Spicy!” And everyone just stares like “do we correct him… or…?” Sifo-Dyas quietly soothing himself, chuckling over this small pettiness. Cracks me up.