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parkerslatte · 1 year ago

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Strings That Bind Us | Part 1

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: she/her pronouns used. fluff and a smidge of angst.

Summary: Y/N owns a small bookstore in Velaris. When she struggles to take her stock in, a handsome stranger approaches her and offers her help. She accepts the help and Y/N insists on making him dinner for his help. Azriel originally denies this but he finds himself eventually saying yes for reasons he doesn’t understand quite yet.

A/N: I might write a part 2 if anyone wants it :)

ACOTAR Masterlist

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

•••

The boxes of new books were stacked on top of one another and Y/N stared up at it deciding internally how to tackle it. It was the middle of summer and Y/N was already sweating just from arranging her store all day. Now as she stood before the stacks of books she let out a sigh and rolled up her sleeves. The first box wasn’t too big and was easy to carry inside and place by the counter. Y/N had only moved one box and she was already beginning to sweat.

The next few boxes were bigger and Y/N silently cursed. If the delivery had been on any other day it would have been fine, but the stock had decided to show up on the hottest day of the year. Y/N tried her best to manouver herself in a position where she could grip the box but every position she tried proved useless. It wasn’t as if the box was too heavy, it was only that it was an awkward size to carry.

Y/N gave a small wave and smile to the crowds who walked past. She wanted to speak up and ask for help but everyone she looked at seemed to be having a nice day and she didn’t want to interrupt them. Y/N suffered in silence. And the heat.

After awkwardly moving the second box into the store she let out a breath and fanned herself with her hands. It was too warm for the shirt and trousers she had decided to wear. Even if she could easily run up to her apartment situated above her store, she decided not to, not with the stacks of books sitting outside.

The third box she moved into the store made a dent in the stacks but there was still plenty more to go. Y/N didn’t know why she had decided to double her order of books for the month, it seemed like a good decision at the time knowing that her stock wouldn’t sell out any time soon. But not after only moving a few boxes she regretted it immensely.

“Do you need any help?” A voice asked from behind her as Y/N pushed the next box through the door.

Y/N turned and faced the source of the voice and her breath was swept away from her. The stranger in front of her was handsome, handsome in the way she read about in books. Of course she knew who he was, nearly everyone in Velaris did. Standing before her was the High Lord’s very own shadowsinger.

Y/N sagged against the box. “That would actually be really helpful.”

The shadowsinger, Azriel, stepped up to the box Y/N had started to push through the doorway and picked it up with ease. Y/N gaped. If only she had arms like his then maybe she could have done that.

“Where do you want it?” he questioned.

Y/N shook her head, bringing her attention from his arms to his eyes which wasn’t much better as they were a beautiful shade of hazel and seemed to glow in the lighting of her store. “Oh, just by the counter is fine.”

Y/N moved onto the next box and began to push it towards the entrance before Azriel swiftly picked it up and carried it into the store. Y/N followed him in. “You know if I had long arms like you, I would be able to do that too.”

“Sure,” he replied as he placed it down beside the counter with the rest of the boxes.

He exited the store and didn’t return for a moment and Y/N guessed that he had disappeared. Even the brief thought sent a twinge of disappointment through her. However before she could dwell on it any further, Azriel came into the store once more carrying two boxes.

Y/N folded her arms across her chest. “Okay, now you’re just showing off.”

Azriel placed them down beside the others and there was a hint of a smile on his face. It was barely visible but it was there. While he brought the last few boxes in, Y/N began to open them and began to make stacks of them alphabetically. From looking at how many books were in one box, she dreaded thinking of where she would put them all. Of course she had gaps in her shelves but there weren’t nearly enough for every book to go.

“Do you need any more help?” Azriel asked as he lingered near the door, wings blocking out a lot of light.

Y/N’s attention shifted from the books to Azriel and back to the books. “If you could help unbox everything it would help me a lot.”

Azriel gave her a nod before he stepped over to a box and began to open it and sacked the books as Y/N had been doing, even in alphabetical order. Y/N smiled before moving onto a box of her own.

“Do you work here alone?” Azriel asked.

“I do,” Y/N answered. “I’ve had this store for over one hundred years. It’s still going strong.”

“It seems well loved,” Azriel commented as he sorted through the books.

“I take great pride in it,” Y/N said, taking a moment to glance around. Her store felt like home. “Do you read?”

“Not as much as I would like,” Azriel answered.

“I suppose with your job, you find it hard to find a quiet time to relax and open a book,” Y/N said as she opened another box.

Azriel only nodded as he continued to organise the books alphabetically, even going as far to slip the ones he had between the pile she had created. Y/N watched from the corner of her eye. If she had known that morning that the shadowsinger would be helping her organise books she wouldn’t have believed it.

“Do you read a lot?” Azriel asked.

Y/N nodded enthusiastically. “I love to read! Anything and everything, it's partly the reason why I wanted to open this store. I wanted to share all the books I enjoy with people. Even if I might be a little biassed towards some of my favourites.”

“Is that why I have opened one box only filled with the same book?” Azriel asked, his tone holding a small hint of teasing.

Y/N smiled. “That book is my favourite, about a million miles above any other I’ve read.”

“It’s special to you.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“It is,” Y/N said, her gaze softening. “My mother and father always read that book to me while growing up, they always insisted that they read me different books but I always wanted that one. I still have the copy they read to me, the cover is nearly falling off and some of the pages are falling out but I refuse to replace it. The book is really the only thing I have left of my parents.” Y/N paused for a moment and turned to glance at Azriel. “I’m sorry, I have quite a habit of oversharing sometimes. I just start talking and don’t really stop. I apologise if I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay,” Azriel said softly. “How did they die?”

Y/N shrugged. “That’s the issue, I don’t really know. Originally I am from the Summer Court and my parents lived in a small cottage basically in isolation. There weren’t many others around. I visited them one day and found the whole cottage ransacked and they were nowhere to be seen, but there was blood everywhere, too much of it to know that they were alive. I came to Velaris not long after, my mother was originally from here.”

“I’m sorry,” Azriel said.

Y/N shook her head. “You don’t need to apologise. And besides it was nearly two hundred years ago now, I try not to dwell on it too much. It happened and there was nothing I could have done but move on. I know my parents wouldn’t want me to sulk about it for my whole life. It was half the reason I opened this store, in their honour.”

“They would be proud of you,” Azriel said, looking at her.

Y/N smiled. “I know they would.” She looked at the book scattered at her feet she she let out a sigh. “But they wouldn’t be proud of all of this mess though.”

Even with all of the categorised into alphabetical order, she knew that it was going to take her a long time to place them onto the shelves. It was already getting into the late afternoon and it was due to get dark soon. Y/N debated leaving it all to be a problem for the next day but she knew that she would keep putting it off if she left it any longer.

“I can help put them on the shelves as well,” Azriel said.

Y/N looked at him and shook her head. “I wouldn’t wish for you to do that. You’ve done so much for me already.”

“It wouldn’t be an issue,” Azriel said and moved towards a stack of books and picked them up.

Y/N sighed, knowing that she wasn’t going to get him to leave anytime soon. “You can start in that corner over here, there’s a large gap in titles.”

Azriel nodded before taking a pile of books in his arms and going to work in the corner Y/N had pointed to. Y/N stood and watched him. She wasn’t sure why the shadowsinger of the night court was helping her in her small bookstore. But as she watched as his brows furrowed in concentration as he read and sorted through the titles, she found herself smiling.

Shadows swirled around Y/N’s feet as Azriel’s head turned to catch her eye. Once Y/N realised that she had been caught staring she quickly looked away to fuss over a stack of books on the opposite side of the store. However she turned away too fast. If she had waited only a second more she would have witnessed the small smile appear on Azriel’s face.

***

“Thank you for your help,” Y/N said to Azriel as she placed the final few books on the shelves. It was dark outside now and the once bustling street was vacant and quiet. “I don’t know what I can do to repay you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Azriel said as he stood in the centre of the shop.

“No,” Y/N said, turning to face him fully. “You’ve been here basically all day. You probably had things you wanted to do. The least I can do is make you dinner or something.”

“You really don’t need-”

“I insist,” Y/N said, folding her arms across her chest and stepped closer to Azriel. His shadows swirled around her feet again and Y/N felt the soft caresses on her ankles. “And don’t even argue with me because you won’t win.”

Y/N now stood directly in front of him and smiled up at him. Azriel looked down at her, fighting the urge to let the smile appear on his face. “Now, what do you want for dinner?”

“I don’t mind,” Azriel said, his voice unusually quiet.

Y/N didn’t break eye contact as she slowly backed away from him. “Come on then, I only live upstairs.”

The stairs that granted Y/N access to her apartment were narrow and Azriel needed to tuck his wings in tight to even get up the stairs. Y/N quickly apologised to him as she quickened her pace to open the door at the top and let him into the spacious apartment. It wasn’t the largest apartment but it was open plan and granted Azriel the room to stretch his wings any way he wanted.

“You can sit wherever you wish,” Y/N said. “Dinner hopefully won’t be too long. You’re not too hungry, are you? If you are I can just make something quickly but I did want to make you a nice mean because you have been really nice to me today and-”

“Y/N,” Azriel interrupted, a soft smile gracing his face and Y/N melted at the sight of it. “I’m okay with anything.”

“I do have my mother’s recipe for a soup that she used to make me all the time, it shouldn’t take too long.”

“It sounds perfect,” Azriel said, his smile widening the smallest amount.

Y/N smiled back at him before swiftly turning to the kitchen area. She could feel Azriel’s gaze on her and her face heated up. Having the shadowsinger in her apartment was something she had never thought would happen, in fact the thought had never crossed her mind. She tried to ignore the feeling of Azriel’s gaze on her but she found it hard. As she prepared the ingredients she cast quick glances in the shadowsinger’s direction.

He was now carefully inspecting her apartment and looking at the decoration. Upon first glance it looked quite cluttered but Azriel could tell that everything held a great significance.

It wasn’t too long later when Y/N served up the soup in two mismatched bowls. Azriel couldn’t fight back the smile at the childish pattern on his bowl. Y/N ‘s eyes glanced down at the bowl and a soft smile graced her features.

“I painted that bowl when I was a child,” she said. “There was originally a whole set of them but they have all broken over the years. That is the only one that is still intact.”

“It’s beautiful,” Azriel said, sparing one final glance at the pattern on the bowl before placing it down on the table to begin eating the soup.

Y/N snorted. “You don’t need to be kind, I know it’s terrible.”

“But it means a lot to you,” Azriel said, his voice calm. “And that’s what makes it beautiful.”

“I suppose I have never thought of it that way,” Y/N said. “I’ve only ever thought of it as a silly painting I did in my childhood. But I guess it is beautiful in its own weird way.”

Azriel offered her a small smile before they both ate their soup in silence. It was comfortable.

***

It was several days later when Azriel found himself walking down that familiar street. He wasn’t sure why he was outside when he had plenty of work to be doing but it was as if something called to him. Ever since he had spent the day with Y/N, he hadn’t been able to get her off of his mind. He had only spent a matter of hours with her but every small thing reminded him of her. When he saw Nesta’s stack of books, the titles were familiar as he remembered shelving them days ago. The drawing Nyx gave him when he visited, the childish art reminded him of Y/N’s bowl. Even while he slept he couldn’t seem to escape Y/N. She would appear in his dreams and Azriel found himself disappointed when he awoke to find her not with him. She was plaguing his mind.

His pace slowed as he approached the familiar store. It was crowded and music seemed to flow from inside. Many left the store with wide smiles on their faces and carrying an assortment of bags. Azriel stood on the other side of the street and watched through the window, he could see Y/N behind the counter and he couldn’t help but smile. Her expression was calm as she greeted each customer that approached her. Despite the long line, no one seemed to be in a rush or angry.

Azriel wanted to go in the store just to be close to Y/N again but he stopped himself from doing so and instead remained on the other side of the street. When Azriel was questioned where he was going, he didn’t know what to answer. Originally he didn’t think he would end up in front of Y/N’s store but as he walked through the city, his feet seemed to carry him there.

The crowd in Y/N’s shop seemed to become emptier and emptier the longer Azriel lingered on the street. He had wanted to simply fly away and never think about Y/N again. But his body didn’t allow him to. It was as if he was stuck to the ground.

Azriel’s gaze shifted to Y/N’s shop once again as he looked through the doorway. There were only a few customers in the store now. Y/N chatted with the customer in front of her, a wide smile on her face. It caused Azriel to smile. Not one of his forced smiles or a smile he did just because he felt like he needed to. It was a real, genuine smile.

From inside the store, Y/N’s gaze shifted as if she felt someone looking at her. Her eyes met Azriel’s and her eyebrows furrowed before she brought her hand up and waved. Azriel froze as he was caught. He never had the intention of her spotting him across the street. Now as she smiled at him after handing over a bag of books to her final customer, Azriel swiftly turned on his heel and walked away from the store.

***

Y/N’s smile dropped as she watched Azriel walk away. Without thinking, she quickly raced out of the store and saw him already halfway down the street. She didn’t even lock her store before she took off down the street after him. If she was being completely honest with herself, she was hoping that the shadowsinger would show up at her store again. After cooking him dinner days ago, she had wanted to see him again. Each morning she had silently watched the door to her store hoping he would walk through. She felt guilty for her disappointment when it was just a regular customer.

“Azriel!” Y/N yelled down the street. Many fae turned to look at her but she simply ignored them in her pursuit of the shadowsinger.

Azriel must have heard her as he did slow his pace but didn’t stop completely. She increased her pace as she chased him down the busy street. As he turned a corner, she followed. There weren’t many others down this street and it was much quieter.

“Azriel, slow down!” Y/N exclaimed, she was already growing tired. “I need to talk to you.”

Azriel’s pace faltered once again and it gave Y/N the opportunity to catch up. He was a few paces ahead of her and she reached out her hand and gently clasped his in hers. This made Azriel go still.

“Finally, you stopped,” Y/N said, trying to catch her breath. “You know, you walk really fast?”

Azriel didn’t answer. He only looked at where Y/N clasped his hand in her’s. Y/N, however, didn’t notice how tense Azriel had become.

“I was wondering if you were going to stop by anytime soon,” Y/N said. “The store has been so busy over the past few days and I’ve been working my ass off but it has been fun. Nearly all the books you shelved are gone now.” Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed as Azriel still continued to look at their joined hands. “What’s wrong?”

Azriel finally met Y/N’s eyes. He pulled his hand out of Y/N’s grip and folded his arms behind his back. “Nothing.”

Y/N looked at the way his body was still tense as she took a small step back. “I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner again? Or even just go for a drink?”

Y/N’s heart was beating fast as she asked the question. She wasn’t sure where this confidence had come from but was grateful for it.

Azriel looked at her hands where she nervously fiddled with her rings and he slowly nodded. Y/N let out a quiet sigh of relief. “Good, for a moment there I thought you would say no then I would have chased you down the street for nothing. So, which will it be? Dinner or a drink?”

“Why not both?” Azriel asked.

Y/N smiled and the two began to walk to the main part of the city. It was still busy as they stopped by Y/N’s store for her to lock it up before continuing on their way to find a restaurant. The whole walk there, Azriel kept to himself, his hand locked behind his back. Y/N noticed the way he would flinch away as she accidentally brushed her arm with his.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by touching you,” Y/N said. “I really wasn’t thinking. I just tried to make you stop.”

Azriel looked down at her, she was fiddling with her rings once more. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“I didn’t?” Y/N said.

Azriel shook his head. “I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Me?” Y/N questioned. “Why would I be uncomfortable?”

Azriel swallowed as he brought his hands from where they were clasped behind his back to his front. He flexed his fingers as Y/N watched.

“My scars,” Azriel said. “I thought they would make you uncomfortable.”

Y/N stopped in her tracks and furrowed her eyebrows. “Of course they wouldn’t make me uncomfortable.” Azriel slowly turned to her. “And I’m sorry if I did anything to make you feel that way.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Azriel said. “Please don’t apologise.”

Y/N looked at Azriel and noticed the hesitation in his eyes as he stared down at his hands. She followed his gaze before slowly clasping his hands in hers. Azriel tensed for a brief moment before he relaxed.

“There is nothing about you that would make me uncomfortable,” Y/N said, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

“You barely know me,” Azriel said, his voice quiet.

“I know,” Y/N said. “That is true. But I do want to get to know you more if you’ll allow me. This sounds stupid but I was hoping that you would come to my store again. I’ve been keeping an eye on the door hoping that you would walk in.”

Azriel smiled. “It doesn’t sound stupid at all. What does sound stupid is everything reminding me of a certain female and me thinking about her so much that it got to the point where I had to linger outside her shop for over an hour.”

Y/N laughed and clutched onto Azriel’s hands tighter. “Stalker,” she teased.

“I wanted to come in,” Azriel said frantically. “You were just busy and I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me.”

“Obviously I would want to see you,” Y/N said as she threaded their fingers together. She felt Azriel relax even more from her touch. “There's…just something about you that I am drawn to. And I’ll be happy to find out what that is.”

Azriel smiled as Y/N began to drag him down the street, their hands linked together.

#azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x female!reader #acotar x reader #acotar #azriel #azriel fluff

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olderthannetfic · 9 months ago

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Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

vimeo

youtube

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year ago

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Amazon Alexa is a graduate of the Darth Vader MBA

Next Tuesday (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.

If you own an Alexa, you might enjoy its integration with IFTTT, an easy scripting environment that lets you create your own little voice-controlled apps, like "start my Roomba" or "close the garage door." If so, tough shit, Amazon just nuked IFTTT for Alexa:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/25/23931463/ifttt-amazon-alexa-applets-ending-support-integration-automation

Amazon can do this because the Alexa's operating system sits behind a cryptographic lock, and any tool that bypasses that lock is a felony under Section 1201 of the DMCA, punishable by a 5-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine. That means that it's literally a crime to provide a rival OS that lets users retain functionality that Amazon no longer supports.

This is the proverbial gun on the mantelpiece, a moral hazard and invitation to mischief that tempts Amazon executives to run a bait-and-switch con where they sell you a gadget with five features and then remotely kill-switch two of them. This is prime directive of the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."

So many companies got their business-plan at the Darth Vader MBA. The ability to revoke features after the fact means that companies can fuck around, but never find out. Apple sold millions of tracks via iTunes with the promise of letting you stream them to any other device you owned. After a couple years of this, the company caught some heat from the record labels, so they just pushed an update that killed the feature:

https://memex.craphound.com/2004/10/30/apple-to-ipod-owners-eat-shit-and-die-updated/

That gun on the mantelpiece went off all the way back in 2004 and it turns out it was a starter-pistol. Pretty soon, everyone was getting in on the act. If you find an alert on your printer screen demanding that you install a "security update" there's a damned good chance that the "update" is designed to block you from using third-party ink cartridges in a printer that you (sorta) own:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Selling your Tesla? Have fun being poor. The upgrades you spent thousands of dollars on go up in a puff of smoke the minute you trade the car into the dealer, annihilating the resale value of your car at the speed of light:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/23/how-to-fix-cars-by-breaking-felony-contempt-of-business-model/

Telsa has to detect the ownership transfer first. But once a product is sufficiently cloud-based, they can destroy your property from a distance without any warning or intervention on your part. That's what Adobe did last year, when it literally stole the colors from your Photoshop files, in history's SaaSiest heist caper:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/28/fade-to-black/#trust-the-process

And yet, when we hear about remote killswitches in the news, it's most often as part of a PR blitz for their virtues. Russia's invasion of Ukraine kicked off a new genre of these PR pieces, celebrating the fact that a John Deere dealership was able to remotely brick looted tractors that had been removed to Chechnya:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

Today, Deere's PR minions are pitching search-and-replace versions of this story about Israeli tractors that Hamas is said to have looted, which were also remotely bricked.

But the main use of this remote killswitch isn't confounding war-looters: it's preventing farmers from fixing their own tractors without paying rent to John Deere. An even bigger omission from this narrative is the fact that John Deere is objectively Very Bad At Security, which means that the world's fleet of critical agricultural equipment is one breach away from being rendered permanently inert:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#deere-john

There are plenty of good and honorable people working at big companies, from Adobe to Apple to Deere to Tesla to Amazon. But those people have to convince their colleagues that they should do the right thing. Those debates weigh the expected gains from scammy, immoral behavior against the expected costs.

Without DMCA 1201, Amazon would have to worry that their decision to revoke IFTTT functionality would motivate customers to seek out alternative software for their Alexas. This is a big deal: once a customer learns how to de-Amazon their Alexa, Amazon might never recapture that customer. Such a switch wouldn't have to come from a scrappy startup or a hacker's DIY solution, either. Take away DMCA 1201 and Walmart could step up, offering an alternative Alexa software stack that let you switch your purchases away from Amazon.

Money talks, bullshit walks. In any boardroom argument about whether to shift value away from customers to the company, a credible argument about how the company will suffer a net loss as a result has a better chance of prevailing than an argument that's just about the ethics of such a course of action:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

Inevitably, these killswitches are pitched as a paternalistic tool for protecting customers. An HP rep once told me that they push deceptive security updates to brick third-party ink cartridges so that printer owners aren't tricked into printing out cherished family photos with ink that fades over time. Apple insists that its ability to push iOS updates that revoke functionality is about keeping mobile users safe – not monopolizing repair:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

John Deere's killswitches protect you from looters. Adobe's killswitches let them add valuable functionality to their products. Tesla? Well, Tesla at least is refreshingly honest: "We have a killswitch because fuck you, that's why."

These excuses ring hollow because they conspicuously omit the possibility that you could have the benefits without the harms. Like, your tractor could come with a killswitch that you could bypass, meaning you could brick it at a distance, and still fix it yourself. Same with your phone. Software updates that take away functionality you want can be mitigated with the ability to roll back those updates – and by giving users the ability to apply part of a patch, but not the whole patch.

Cloud computing and software as a service are a choice. "Local first" computing is possible, and desirable:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/03/there-is-no-cloud/#only-other-peoples-computers

The cheapest rhetorical trick of the tech sector is the "indivisibility gambit" – the idea that these prix-fixe menus could never be served a la carte. Wanna talk to your friends online? Sorry there's just no way to help you do that without spying on you:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/08/divisibility/#technognosticism

One important argument over smart-speakers was poisoned by this false dichotomy: the debate about accessibility and IoT gadgets. Every IoT privacy or revocation scandal would provoke blanket statements from technically savvy people like, "No one should ever use one of these." The replies would then swiftly follow: "That's an ableist statement: I rely on my automation because I have a disability and I would otherwise be reliant on a caregiver or have to go without."

But the excluded middle here is: "No one should use one of these because they are killswitched. This is especially bad when a smart speaker is an assistive technology, because those applications are too important to leave up to the whims of giant companies that might brick them or revoke their features due to their own commercial imperatives, callousness, or financial straits."

Like the problem with the "bionic eyes" that Second Sight bricked wasn't that they helped visually impaired people see – it was that they couldn't be operated without the company's ongoing support and consent:

https://spectrum.ieee.org/bionic-eye-obsolete

It's perfectly possible to imagine a bionic eye whose software can be maintained by third parties, whose parts and schematics are widely available. The challenge of making this assistive technology fail gracefully isn't technical – it's commercial.

We're meant to believe that no bionic eye company could survive unless they devise their assistive technology such that it fails catastrophically if the business goes under. But it turns out that a bionic eye company can't survive even if they are allowed to do this.

Even if you believe Milton Friedman's Big Lie that a company is legally obligated to "maximize shareholder value," not even Friedman says that you are legally obligated to maximize companies' shareholder value. The fact that a company can make more money by defrauding you by revoking or bricking the things you buy from them doesn't oblige you to stand up for their right to do this.

Indeed, all of this conduct is arguably illegal, under Section 5 of the FTC Act, which prohibits "unfair and deceptive business practices":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

"No one should ever use a smart speaker" lacks nuance. "Anyone who uses a smart speaker should be insulated from unilateral revocations by the manufacturer, both through legal restrictions that bind the manufacturer, and legal rights that empower others to modify our devices to help us," is a much better formulation.

It's only in the land of the Darth Vader MBA that the deal is "take it or leave it." In a good world, we should be able to take the parts that work, and throw away the parts that don't.

(Image: Stock Catalog/https://www.quotecatalog.com, Sam Howzit; CC BY 2.0; modified)

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

#pluralistic #alexa #ifttt #criptech #disability #drm #revocation #nothing about us without us #futureproofing #graceful failure #darth vader MBA #enshittification

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gffa · 11 months ago

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I never meant to fall into this fandom, but seeing these really stunning pieces of characters in trench coats and got supremely curious. It took approximately two days to fall ass over teakettle into OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT hell, because it has absolutely fascinating characters, interesting worldbuilding, a beautifully drawn webtoon, thoughtful plot elements on the nature of stories and the relationship with the audience and--most importantly--it has the kind of character dynamics you immediately want fic. I'm barely past chapter 40 and I was already spoiling myself for the overarching plot because I desperately needed post-canon fic that offered resolution, because everything was already so deliciously intense that I couldn't stand it! So, here I am, having a bunch of knock-out fic to go with the absolute god-tier art that's in the fandom and desperately trying to drag more of you into this with me because it's so good and I think you'd like it and I don't want to be throwing up feelings everywhere and not have you all understand how much these characters mean to me (especially the main character, he is such a skrunkly little asshole whomst I would die for!!!!) even after just forty chapters! Joinnnnn meeeee!!! (p.s. This is primarily a Joongdok recs set, but give me time and I'll love all the characters!)

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - POST-CANON IS WHAT I'M REALLY HERE FOR: ✦ [Message from the Universe: Kim Dokja Must Die] by jarofclay, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 27.2k Six months after returning to his original world-line, Kim Dokja almost dies (again). A tragicomedic Final Destination-esque story featuring one dreamer in distress, his personal hero and his rightfully anxious family. ✦ world's end rhapsody by wakerife, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & han sooyoung & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 11.6k another post-epilogue fic, wherein kim dokja may or may not need a bigger hospital bed ✦ Unburying Kim Dokja by stingerra, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 21.3k Kim Dokja is back and left to ponder such things like fitting in and making amends. None of this proves easy. He was dead for too long and it's common knowledge that resurrection is a lengthy process. Especially because Kim Dokja was someone who buried himself at the age of 15 and didn't hope for anyone to care. ✦ “You are loved,” said Yoo Jonghyuk. “This is a threat,” said Yoo Jonghyuk. by IceBreeze, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & han sooyoung & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 13.3k Kim Dokja doesn't really know when he began collecting time travellers like stray cats but it's not so bad, he guesses. He just wishes there was less crying. ✦ show me proof you hear my sound by grdenofavalon, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 30k Kim Dokja has two goals in his life: figure out why he can't recall anything from before that "apocalypse" everyone and their dog is traumatized from, and finally finish the renovations on his newly (if six years old could still be "new") purchased book-and-breakfast cafe. It's... a work in progress. But now he has a third goal — find out what Yoo "former-terrorist-turned-civil-worker" Joonghyuk wants from his life. Or maybe he just wants his life, to end it himself. Kim Dokja is starting to think that might be the case. ✦ The End Of A Story by mellllting, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 22.8k Kim Dokja wakes up, and the most shocking part of all that has happened was probably finding out that Yoo Joonghyuk loves him. ✦ white house, white rock by beforedaybreaks, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 12.1k “Big family?” the grocery store clerk asks, as he makes his way to the front of the checkout line. The clerk motions toward Kim Dokja’s baskets. Kim Dokja laughs as he loads the ingredients onto the conveyer belt. “I guess you could say that.” After the Scenarios, Kim Dokja moves into a big house with everyone.

✦ unwind the world, is your nightmare gone? by Scribblurri, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 9.9k He learns of lots of things that these people say his older self has experienced in the apocalypse: kindness, companionship, strength, family, love, sacrifice; all things they say the older him has provided to them. (He's not sure he believes it.) ✦ Revelation by 1864_9158, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, post-canon spoilers, 2.1k Kim Dokja realizes he's in love with Yoo Jonghyuk a month after he wakes up. Post-Canon ✦ Will you share your soul with me? (Unzip your skin and let me have a see) by Maru_Chan, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj compnay, NSFW, post-canon spoilers, 19.9k Noticing my gaze, Yoo Joonghyuk looked up from where he was polishing his sword. “Kim Dokja, what do you want?" My eyes shifted back to the System Notification I had been making a valiant effort to ignore ever since it had appeared a few minutes ago. [I w■■t to b■■■ him ■■ half a■d ■■■■ him wi■■■ an inch ■f h■s ■■fe] Uhh... (Or: KDJ might read both books and minds, but he can't read the room to save his life.) ✦ you used to be my satellite by Karelyon, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 3.4k Yoo Joonghyuk in his first regression, with all his memories from the 0th round, meets one Kim Dokja. ✦ The Scars of Dreaming by Gotcocomilk, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 6.5k Or: two dreamers speak. Neither are monsters. ✦ today's prophecy: you will receive love (this is inevitable) by kdj_225, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 2.6k “Kim Dokja!” Han Sooyoung yells first. “What the hell is this, huh?!” “You’re asking me? I’m just as confused as you, Han Sooyoung.” “This is related to you, this—huh?” It seems she hadn’t fully read the status window before she barged into his room. Her eyes, initially squinted, turn wide when they read through the lit-up words on the floating window. With a growing smirk, she teases, “A kiss? You wanted a kiss?” ✦ the false last act by younglegends, kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 8.6k Living in a big house with everyone was convenient, most of the time. But there were other things that couldn’t be avoided. Or: The end. ✦ Pretty Fool by jokebear, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, post-canon spoilers, 1.4k Kim Dokja is pretty. That was the undeniable, factual, and conclusive verdict Yoo Joonghyuk had reached after days of gazing at the other man. ✦ missing person report by lorilanda, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 9.7k Kim Dokja opens his arms. "Okay, okay." He takes a deep breath. "Okay. C'mere. Give me a hug." To his absolute horror, Yoo Joonghyuk actually does. Kim Dokja returns. ✦ you made a deal, you traded daffodils for a kingdom of ash and bone by venividivici, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, post-canon spoilers, 21k From infancy to adulthood, Kim Dokja has had a hard life. He copes.

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - BUT I WILL HAPPILY TAKE MID-SCENARIOS FIC BECAUSE IT'S SUCH GOOD TROPE FODDER: ✦ Fire on Fire by alodienr, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.7k "What are you doing?" He hissed in pain and shock and confusion. Their faces were dangerously close. He could see golden under the dark irises in front of him. The kind of golden that was warm, intimidating, and seemed to want to devour Kim Dokja at the same time. Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes glinted with longing, hunger and want. "Push me if you want me to stop." Yoo Joonghyuk stared right into Kim Dokja's eyes. There was a bit of gentleness in his tone. ✦ The Reader's Lost Hope by bobacrane, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, read the tags, 5.2k Yoo Jonghyuk is thrown into the past right when teenage Kim Dokja makes an attempt on his own life. He must learn about the past of his companion in order to return home. ✦ Taking Action to Contain a Hopeless Squid by gayboy_advance, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, 1.2k It started out innocent—just some minor actions to ensure the slippery man’s safety. Yoo Joonghyuk made sure to check on Kim Dokja every time before going to bed, specifically when the other was already sleeping soundly. He figured it would be less explaining if caught, as well as less likely that the man would up and leave once he had actually taken the time to fall asleep. Unfortunate or not, it was not enough to settle his worries as time progressed. ✦ proof of love by Maven_Fair, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, omegaverse, 3.6k “Yoo Jonghyuk,” a low rumble, “bad touch,” a soft huff of breath, teeth scraping, “ooh - ah, bad touch,” a tongue, softly caressing that sensitive bundle so slowly that he just wanted him to bite already - “VERY BAD TOUCH, YOO JONGHYUK - ” An indignant bite is the only response he gets. ✦ i crave death by exocara, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.2k Kim Dokja would say that he had no idea how he got into this situation, but he would be lying. It wasn’t as if he wanted to be in this situation (except he did, it was his idea and he was the one who had to do the convincing) but Yoo Joonghyuk needed to be put in his place. Which was under him. Also with his dick up Kim Dokja’s ass, but that was neither here nor there. ✦ speak no evil by cvrely, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, NSFW, 2.9k The same hands that encircled his throat at their meeting, held the blade that pierced his body during the Demon King selection, now hold onto him as if afraid to let go—what defenses does he have against Yoo Joonghyuk when he’s like this? What defense does he have against Yoo Joonghyuk at all? ✦ My Star by TeaFlowers, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & secretive plotter/kim dokja, NSFW, 3.6k ⸢K im Dok ja th in ks: I wa nt him to cr ush me⸥ Shut up, I didn’t want this to happen. He weakly refuted. ⸢K im Dok ja is a li ar⸥ One of the Plotter’s gloved fingers tapped Kim Dokja’s cheek, bringing his attention back to him and his smug smile. The hand tilted Kim Dokja’s chin toward him as he murmured, “Thinking of others while I’m here? That’s not very polite of you Kim Dokja.” ✦ you got me starstruck by virotutis, yoo joonghyuk/kim doka & kdj company, 3.6k Kim Dokja is a man who has rather clear priorities after his favorite novel comes to life—unfortunately for his companions, informing them about his former idol career is not one of them.

OMNISCIENT READER'S VIEWPOINT - AND THEN MAYBE SOMETIMES THEY DESERVE A HAPPY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: ✦ the tidal pain of wanting by aryelee, yoo joonghyuk/dim dokja, omegaverse, alternate universe, 14.7k “Kim Dokja.” The sound of his name makes his breath hitch. His eyes burn with oncoming tears. He hasn’t cried in front of another person in years. It’s mortifying. He doesn’t understand why the sound of his name from Yoo Joonghyuk’s mouth hurts him, why it hollows out the inside of his chest, why it aches with a loneliness he thought he got used to living with. “Kim Dokja, allow me to know you.” ✦ How To Be A Husband by cymbelione, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja & kdj company, 9.3k Being a good best friend involves comforting your friends when they're sad, eating their unwanted vegetables and remembering their birthdays. Last time Kim Dokja checked, the description didn't include "pretending to marry them". He'd think that he would recall that part. ✦ you can't skip the tutorial by cvrely, yoo joonghyuk/kim dokja, royalty dating sim au, 4.1k (Yoo Joonghyuk wakes up in a dating sim. It goes as well as expected.)

#lumi.txt #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #han sooyoung #joongdok #yoohankim #fic recs #orv fic recs #long post

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mannanerz · 1 year ago

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designs for my modern eah/mh au where their schools are rivals and cupid is the mediator. under the cut talks about the au and the character designs. its long tho. you have been warned.

In this au, both are boarding schools. EAH has a uniform, but the students personalize their uniforms to match their style, which was against the rules. The faculty was strict with the dress code, until Raven’s freshman year, where she accidentally sprung a series of events that resulted in the students holding a protest against the school’s outrageously strict dress code (raven wore a belt with her skirt the third day of school, which was against the dress code). The faculty began to care less and less as the weeks went on so now kids just wear the basics of the uniforms (white collar shirt, dress pants/skirts/shorts) and personalize everything else (shoes, ties/bowties, arm wear). Monster High has like zero dress code. Freedom of Expression is their message so students can dress however they want.

The rivalry between the two schools has gone back centuries, but no one is 100% sure as to how it all started. There are rumors of how it happened, but there has never been concrete evidence of how it all started.

Some Monster High students say that Ever After High’s founder, M. Grimm, had more influence than Monster High’s founder, H. Bloodgood, since Grimm was a much beloved politician at the time. So, he used his money and power to open his own school before Bloodgood did. This is why Ever After High has wealthier students as well as a bigger budget for the school’s events and their educational and athletic programs.

Some Ever After High students say that Bloodgood had tricked Grimm into signing off a large portion of his wealth to her. Bloodgood had used this money to build Monster High next to a small town filled with artists, artisans, and farmers. The local families sent their children to this boarding school believing it to be the best education around. This is why Monster High’s athletics and arts programs are much better than Ever After’s arts and athletics, since most students at MH were the children of artists and athletes.

Monster High’s architecture has also been known to be the most aesthetically pleasing in the state. Local families had helped make renovations to the school over the years which gave it the unique look. Monster High doesn’t need to hold as many fundraisers as Ever After High since most of the families who have enrolled their children there can just help the school themselves instead of paying for someone else to do it. Gym ceiling caved in? Call Jerry. Water fountain broke? Felix can fix it. Bake Sale for animal shelter? Nelson’s got it. The students are also very inclusive and try their best to be better than Ever After High in that way, being more welcoming and friendly.

The wealthy families of Ever After don’t contribute much to the little things at the school; cafeteria food, broken parts of the school (water fountains, doorways etc), or even some clubs (mostly artistic clubs/ programs). So, the students have to arrange fundraisers for themselves, as long as a faculty member sponsors/chaperones it, which almost never happens. They aren’t as close knit as they make themselves appear, many cliques and bullies roam the halls, excluding most anyone who they haven’t known for most of their lives. The friends that they do have, though, are friends for life. Once a clique is established, there aren’t many things that could break them apart.

THATS THE BACKGROUND GUYS THERE IS ALSO THE DESIGNS

Frankie Stein

I wasn’t 100% sure how i wanted to portray them in this au cuz i rlly like gen 1 and 3 designs and both versions kinda clash. i wanted to do certain things but they would have looked bad. might change the design later (still deciding). in this au, frankie is book smart, but not street smart. they often find themselves in dangerous situations because of this. i wanted to add scars to show this bc i think of frankie as someone who is ready to jump headfirst into anything, literally and figuratively.

C.A. Cupid

I LOVE THIS DESIGN!!!! i loved her hair in mh so i wanted the curl from that instead of her eah hair and i though the headphones would be a cute addition. she is the ‘love goddess’ at school so i gave her heart theme accessories. her personality would be a bit more bold and outspoken compared to the eah version of cupid cuz spunky cupid is everything to me.

Raven Queen

The accidental bad girl. i wanted her to be edgier than most other characters, like avant garde, but i dont think she’d want to draw a lot of attention to herself, since the faculty already think she’s a rebellious teen so she’s only kinda edgy. she mostly sticks to herself and her friends. i feel like raven’s design came easiest cuz i know someone who looks so much like her and thats the way they dress so she’s based off of my lab partner (kinda).

END thank you so much for reading if you came this far. i will be posting more designs of the characters in this au. clawdeen, draculaura, apple and probably one other will be next!!

#ever after high #monster high #ca cupid #raven queen #frankie stein #modern au #i love these shows a normal amount btw #this au has taken up 90% of my headspace #im thinking of maybe adding ships? not real sure though

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gatorbites-imagines · 2 years ago

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Honestly, I also have a special place for the moon boys in my heart, and recently, I read your alien reader with the moon boys and loved it, so two ideas, one NSFW and the other sfw. Basically, it's just for you to pick which one you're more comfortable with.

So, for the NSFW on what about how Steven started dating Alien reader(like the one you wrote before) and Steven started becoming more and more desperate for him, like dreaming things about him, thinking about him and reader doing those things, etc. One day, Marc helped Steven out and got the reader to full out his darkest desires. Maybe with a size kink and rope kink if you're comfortable.

Then, for the sfw one, steven and Alien have a stay at home movie date where they watch horror, and maybe Steven jumps easily, and since the reader is way bigger he holds Steven in his arms, particularly fully engulfed by the readers arms. It ends with the reader and Steven falling asleep on the couch or bed, of course with Steven in the readers' arms.

Again, you can pick whatever one your mode is comfortable with. If you even do this request. Thank you 😊

Moon boys (though mostly Steven) x alien male reader

Headcanons

Now, the planet you were from didn’t have entertainment like earth does, so movies, books or music was new for you. This means the moon boys get to introduce you to all their favorites.

Marc introduces you to his favorite movies, Jake shows you all his music, and Steven shows you his many books. Of course, there’s some interlapping, meaning you get a pretty big knowledge of media thanks to your lovers.

Marc seems like the one who watches horror movies, since Jake probably finds them boring, and Steven gets too jumpy.

So, when Steven wants to watch a horror movie with you, you don’t really understand why he would want too, since you know they scare him, but you go along with it anyway, since that’s what he wants.

Your species doesn’t have fear receptors like earthlings do, so you don’t get scared by movies or even during life or death fights, so horror movies is just easy entertainment for you.

You think maybe Steven wants to watch a horror movie to toughen himself up or appear braver than he is, maybe he wishes to push his own boundaries, so he becomes less scared.

But you soon find yourself with him in your arms, your big arms pretty much covering his entire body as he sits in your lap cuddled up against your chest.

You offer to turn the movie off, but Steven wants to keep watching it, so that’s what you two do, though you have to hold him pretty much the entire time. You have no idea that in their headspace, Marc and Jake are tsking since they didn’t come up with the idea of cuddling you during a scary movie first.

After the first horror movie, Steven brings up watching another one. At first you aren’t really sure if it’s a good idea, but Steven is hellbent on it.

So, a second movie is put on, one from Marcs collection of unknown horror flicks from all over the world, you know those really creepy Japanese ones for example.

Steven is of course more scared of the obscure horror movies, since they tend to be super nasty sometimes, but when he’s in your arms he feels a little less intimidated. He also really has to hold on, since he tends to switch with the other two when he gets too scared, but he wants to toughen himself up.

After the second movie, you can very much feel that Steven wouldn’t be able to take a third one, so even though he claims he can, you put on one of his comfort movies instead. You use your much bigger size to keep him from wiggling out of your arms to put on a scary movie, much to Steven pouting annoyance.

During his comfort movie Steven starts to doze off, and before you know it hes asleep, snoozing softly in your arms like you two hadn’t just sat through two horrifying horror movies.

You worry he might get nightmares from the movies, but it seems as long as hes in your arms, Steven doesn’t seem to show any inkling that hes got nightmares.

So, you end up settling down and just watching another movie or show as Steven sleeps, kissing the top of his head very now and then as he rests against you, wrapped in your arms.

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missbrunettebarbie · 6 months ago

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Descendants Sortings

Mal

Mal is a burned Lion Primary. It isn’t obvious at first, but the more her character developed over the course of the series, the more clear it became she is not a Snake -frankly, this girl would have been better off if she would have taken a more self-serving Snake mentality (uo, I know!) in the latter movies- and no Bird, as she shows none of the signs. I did debate whether she might be a Badger primary or no, but both her ‘I want’ songs (If Only and My once upon a time) show she is a burned Lion who is desperate to unburn, but well, her internal compass has been skewed by being raised by Maleficent: “I can't decide/ What's wrong, what's right/ Which way should I go?”/“You had a cause to serve, but did you serve it?”

Mal really really needs a Cause to work for. In Descendants 1, her Cause is making her mother proud by stealing the wand. In Descendants 2, her new Cause is to be the perfect lady of the court and girlfriend for Ben. And she feels like she’s failing miserably at it, which is why she lives for the Isle. This and the fact that Mal is pretty much facing an identity crisis here and feels like her entire life is being caged by the life everyone else is planning for her. Both nightmarish situations for a Lion who isn’t entirely unburned yet. In the third movie, Mal’s Cause is to be a good queen for Auradon, no matter the price. I personally find Mal’s arc very compelling and intriguing as I think we rarely see a protagonist who is loved by the narrative supporting a point of view the narrative disagrees with, but still be treated with empathy by it.

Her Secondary is even more interesting to me cause before rewatching, I would have never thought she is a Bird Sec, but yet it is so plain! Mal uses magic as a very efficient tool despite never being formally taught. She just gets handed a book and is told to figure it out on the fly. And she does it spectacularly … by paying attention to the instructions like with the love potion. She’s also the planner of the group, some of the plans being better than others (drugging Ben, giving Uma the fake wand etc.). And last, but not least: Mal is an information gatherer. One seemingly insignificant scene that showcases a great lot about Mal is in the car in the first movie, when she asked which button opens the barrier. They almost died, witnessed magic for the first time and are leaving their homes, yet this is on her mind.

Evie

Evie is the textbook Badger Secondary. She is defined by her sewing and hard work. The girl is so good at it, she manages to buy her own castle with the money! I do think she has a Snake Secondary Model in order to play the role of The Temptress that was forced on her.

I had a harder time figuring out the primary, but one thing is clear from the start: Evie is a Loyalist. She’s the one who is more or less keeping the group together and she sometimes clashes a little bit with Mal, as Loyalists don’t see the bigger picture the way Idealists do, which in Evie’s case, is a very good thing. I contemplated Badger, but I’m pretty sure she’s a Snake actually. Evie may be one of the biggest advocates for the Isle kids, but she only becomes one after she says Dizzy again. In D2, Evie is willing to go to the Isle to save Mal even though she’s afraid she might get stuck there. And yet she still volunteers to stay with Mal there, because Mal is her best friend. Evie is a Snake through and through and I think it’s very interesting how in the third movie, which shows the darker side of Lion primaries, it’s Snake!Evie (and Uma) that are framed as being right.

Jay

Jay has a Snake secondary he uses to steal and charm people. And sometimes to exploit loopholes eg. making Lonnie captain in the second movie. He is a Lion Primary, of the Glory Hound variety in the first movie. His entire arc there is to learn how to work inside a team.

Carlos de Vill

Carlos is also an immature primary, but unlike Jay, he is a Hedonistic Snake. When they first arrive in Auradon, he’s mostly interested in eating chocolate and playing video games. He’s also the one most annoyed later on by Evie and Mal always going off to chat amongst themselves leaving him and Jay out of the loop. Bird secondary: he is a tech genius and knowledge gatherer (see how he tries to see if his clapping can make the statue change in D1).

King Ben

Let’s make one thing clear, D1!Ben is smart. And a troll (see him introducing Mal to his parents or how he tells Mal he knew about the love potion). He is framed as the Big Damn Hero in both the first and the second movie, which of course made me think he had one of the ‘heroic’ primaries: Badger or Lion. I settled on Lion, as it is incredibly easy for him to go against the grain. Something not a lot of people can say in this franchise. He’s also extremely concerned with upholding his role as a good king. He forgives Mal for the love potion because she risks her life to save him, which convinces him she is not an evil person. Ben has very firm convictions. He is the only one who stands up for the VKs at Family Day despite being the one with an actual reason to hate them.

He definitely has a Fluid Secondary, as a huge part of his charm is the fact that he tries to make himself liked. But he’s also a hard worker who disapproves heavily of taking shortcuts (see his fight with Mal over her using magic for everything) which made me go with Badger.

Uma

Uma is a classic (exploded) Snake primary. It seems to be all about Mal in D2. She’s enraged when Mal says she’s never given Uma a thought since she left. Ben offers her to come to Auradon and be part of a solution for saving other VKs. But Uma refuses. And I think it’s both because she wants to do things her way, but also because Uma is not exactly looking at the bigger picture here the way Ben is. ‘You don’t get to win everytime.’ These are her words to Mal when she realizes she had been tricked with a fake wand. Her secondary is a little trickier but I’m going with Bird because, here’s the thing, Uma is Mal’s mirror. Ben clocks it almost immediately: “She’s an angry girl with a bad plan. Not so different from you when you first came to Auradon.” Mal also constantly shows that she understands Uma and her methods better than anyone. Uma even uses the same plan as Mal when she uses the love spell on Ben. These girls are two sides of the same coin. (A bit of a side note, but I’m really curious how they are going to handle Uma as the Principal of Auradon Prep in D4. The clips we’ve seen so far make me really optimistic. Plus, since I’ve been hopelessly contaminated by TVD and never cured, Uma as principal reminded me of Caroline as headmistress in Legacies and yeah, I’m very optimistic this means good things for Uma xDD).

Li Lonnie

Lion Secondary as she is extremely honest and straightforward: “I know you hate us. And you are evil. But I’ve got money.” she says when she wants Mal to give her a new haircut. You don’t really get more Lion than that. Her primary was harder but from the first movie she looked to me like an Idealist with the way she saw the world: “Even villains love their kids.” I’m thinking Lion as in D2, she clearly goes to the Isle to prove herself by saving the king. Sounds familiar? Well, Lion primary Mulan did the same.

Princess Audrey

Audrey is another Lion Secondary girl in Auradon. Seriously this girl’s attempts at manipulation, make Mal look subtle: “Make me your queen and I’ll wake everybody up.” Villain!Audrey was a hammer: all raw power, no finesse. D1!Audrey was no better either, see her very blunt introduction to the VKs.

Audrey is a Badger Primary, no doubt in my mind about it. She’s very upset when the VKs disturb the Auradon Prep hierarchy and she exhibits some very typical Badger prejudices. “And then everybody looks good. So where would I be?” Audrey asks when she realizes Mal is giving the other girl make-overs, because she needs the social validation from being the prettiest princess there. In D3 it kills her that she did everything right and still someone else gets to be queen. I find it super interesting that Audrey asks Ben to ‘make [her] queen’ when she definitely had the power to crown herself. You might think it was because she loved him, but Queen of Mean ,which is her ‘I want’ song, shows very clearly that it was never about Ben the person. What she wants is his validation, because Audrey was raised to believe that his opinion, as the King, is the most important one. Audrey isn’t a Snake looking to have Ben for herself, a Lion seeking glory or a Bird trying to ‘rectify’ a system that is wrong; she is a Badger who is working within the confines of her society to achieve the status she wants.

Jane

Jane is so so Burned, I can’t help but wonder what the hell was Fairy Godmother doing cause she sure as hell wasn’t parenting her daughter the way she was supposed to. Jane is a Badger Primary who was ostracized by her only community so of course she latches onto Mal and Evie the first time they show her kindness. But D1 is a story about the failings of Badger primaries and the sheep mentality, so when she gains status and the VKs lose it following the events of Family Day, of course Jane aligns herself with the popular kids. She’s not gonna risk becoming an outcast again. This is also the driving force behind her stealing the wand. Her secondary is also super burned, but I’m betting on Lion. Not only is she extremely honest and impulsive, but Lion seems to be the default secondary for Auradon girls. Which is super interesting since generally Lion is not the secondary framed as the most feminine, but here it is.

...I just realized Jane is the burned version of Audrey. Oh, the irony!

Harry Hook

Double Snake, most likely. He is loyal to Uma and Uma only. He also has the ~vibe of a Snake secondary.

Prince Chad Charming

Chad is such a Snake Primary with Audrey as his person. He’s also pretty hedonistic as seen in D2: Ben might be dying, but the most important think is well, could Chad be second in line for the throne? I was a bit unsure of his secondary, but I think it is Badger as the only two times he’s successful (getting Evie in trouble for using the mirror, snapping at the VKs at Family Day) is when he involves other people.

Doug

Another Badger Primary. After Family Day, he gives into the peer pressure and shuns the VKs like everyone else. Maybe Badger Secondary too? Who knows, honestly this guy doesn’t have that much of a personality. But he seems to be a Bookkeeper Badger with the way he and Evie understand each other.

Gil

Gil doesn’t get to shine much, but I think he may be another Double Badger, and probably one of the sweetest Badger in the whole series. And considering he is the son of Gaston, I can’t help but appreciate the irony.

Dizzy

Dizzy is framed as a mirror for Evie in the second movie: the girl who could be so much more, if only she got the chance. This makes me think the two house share and Dizzy is a Snake Badger too. Which honestly tracks with the way she works at the salon and seems to hold no grudge on Evie getting to achieve her dreams while she doesn’t. Because Evie is her person, so of course Dizzy can’t be mad at her.

Celia Facillier

Celia is a Snake Primary who wants the guarantee of being able to see her father after she comes to Auradon, because she loves her father. It’s that simple. Considering how she throws the ember in the water out of rage when she realizes Mal has been lying to her, I’m thinking Lion Secondary.

Tl; Dr

Mal - (burned) Lion/Bird

Evie - Snake/Badger with Snake model

Jay - Glory Hound Lion/Snake

Carlos - hedonistic Snake/Bird

Ben - Lion/Badger

Uma - (exploded) Snake/Bird

Lonnie - Lion/Lion

Audrey - Badger/Lion

Jane - burned Badger/bunred Lion

Harry - Snake/Snake

Chad - Snake/Badger

Doug - Badger/Badger

Gil - Badger/Badger

Dizzy - Snake/Badger

Celia - Snake/Lion

#descendants #sortinghatchats #my sorting #my thoughts #mal bertha #evie (descendants)#jay (descendants)#king ben #princess audrey #audrey rose #uma (descendants)#carlos de vil #celia facilier #harry hook #dizzy tremaine #chad charming #doug (descendants)#gil (descendants)#jane (descendants)

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kylieswift31 · 29 days ago

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Your post about Abigail, over half of it doesn't make sense, and it made me realise that Taylor's lyrics and easter eggs, etc, can be bent and twisted to fit whatever muse people want. That Taylor is the only person who actually knows who her muse is. And we won't find out who it is until she tells us if she ever does. So thanks for nothing.

Posts like this that introduce a new concept or topic are not designed to be easily understood by everyone else, they’re a chance for me to zoom in on a topic and info dump by sharing a lot of idea and thoughts at once before zooming out again to share new posts like this one that connect back to this main topic.

I knew that my first muse post would be controversial because I was introducing a new muse possibility that challenges the foundation of every other muse that others are already invested in. It’s important for all of us to understand that we could be wrong because we don’t know Taylor personally. This blog is a place for me to share my own thoughts and ideas with others, as well as an invitation to go off and do your own research. For example, try looking up what an unreliable narrator is and find some examples in the books you’ve or movies that you’ve seen before. Or perhaps try watching the Truman show a few times and see what patterns you pick up on. If you disagree with the references to quotes from interviews then go back and watch them for yourself. I’m not here to hold your hand and walk you through this particular post step by step if you disagree with me. It’s written in a way that’s designed to allow you to understand more and more if you keep coming back to it after investigating pieces of it until you can see how they intersect to create the bigger picture.

When I became more invested in the gaylor lore a lot of the theories surrounding muses felt too rigid because everyone seemed to be repeating the same interpretations as facts. Instead of following along with everyone else I started going through Taylor’s music, music videos and interviews and tried to remain as unbiased as possible as I came to my own conclusions as I viewed every character in Taylor’s story as a version of Taylor with no intention of delving into muses. Eventually it became apparent that there was a third main character that represented Taylor’s muse. I needed to lay all of my cards out on the table to announce that Abigail was my own personal prediction of who Taylor’s muse could be so that I can delve into differentiating between Taylor, Taylor™ and her muse. My future posts are bound to challenge the foundation of other muses, but if you’re willing to consider that I might be right about this one I’d like to invite you to learn about the tale of the blind doctors and the elephant.

“You don’t know what you don’t know” 🐘

We’re all invested in different specialties that branch off from the one thing we all have in common, believing Taylor is part of the LGBTQIA+ community. As we process our ideas out loud we’re all bound to get some things right, take it too far at times, or find something that others might not be ready to see for themselves. Expecting everything that’s shared to be digestible facts for gaylors focused on other branches of gaylor lore just hinders the collaborative process for those invested in the same branch of gaylor lore that you are. Sometimes we need to zoom in on an idea and put all our cards on the table so that we can then zoom back out to see what fits in with the bigger picture. Being open to new ideas and having grace for those you disagree with allows us all to stay focused on the one thing we have in common, Taylor Swift. 🌈

#gaylor #taylorswift #T&A #the elephant in the room #friends of dorothea

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ars-matron · 10 months ago

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The Tarot Sequence Reread

Nothing has given me brain rot in a long while like the Tarot Sequence by K D Edwards has. And since I just finished reading all the supplemental stuff right when my hold for The Last Sun came back up I thought I would do something I have only done once before-and in a much less flattering way for a book I hated-and live blog my reread.

There's just so much in this series I need to pay closer attention to. And usually I would go on here and read some metas, but there is literally nothing!! The only things in the tags for this series is people wishing there were more people reading it, a handful of very wonderful fanarts, and an account of the decline of a discord that evidently used to exist for it. So, maybe this will encourage some people to read the books too.

Because there are some heavy topics in this series anytime I talk about such topics I will tag for them, but if they don't come up in the chapters I'm reviewing, I won't. So if you have certain things back listed you might not see all my posts on it. Anyone who is reading along and is curious about it can DM me.

NOW! Predictions and things I want to pay attention to under the cut for spoiler reasons.

The Tower. At the end of the prologue of the first book my thoughts were, " So we trust NO ONE!!" Except Queenie, because why would Rune and Brand live with her if she was evil? Then the children showed up and I had to trust them, they were too young to be part of the, whole thing, plus they are so cute. You have to trust them. And then Addam came along, and of course we trust him, he's an Addam, he's a giant dancing teddy bear and I love him! So I read the whole series (that's out so far) expecting we would find out the Tower was an evil guy, that he had had something to do with the fall of the Sun Throne. Honestly by the end of the third book I didn't think that any longer, and I was starting to before that after finding out he was also Qunn's godfather because!!! There is no way Qunn wouldn't have seen if the Tower revealed he had been a part of all that. (I'm still asking myself HOW exactly he or Mayan wouldn't have noticed an astral projection listening device being installed in Rune's room at their freaking tower that is super locked down! But then it happened for two other locations that were supposed to be super warded and protected my other companions too. So maybe it isn't his fault. I do think he might blame himself, I do think that some of his stand-offishness might also be guilt for not being able to stop the attack on the Sun Throne to start with. We will see...) I'm going to go into this read through with the assumption he is just lonely and sad and not a bad guy.

QUEENIE!!!! Because, WHO THE FUCK IS QUEENIE!? I was already suspicious because every time someone asks Rune and Brand where she came from, or how long she's been with them, they say "She's been with us forever." Every time! It reeks of mind fuckery. Then Eidolon and the epilogue that wasn't came along. Current theory is that she is the Empress, and also that she's probably Rune's mother. I would be willing to bet she was the woman at the end of the third book who spoke up to the river after everyone else. Edwards did a good job of making her disappear in the background, but I'm gonna be hunting for every mention of her and how she acts around everyone.

Ciaran, just because I love him and at first also suspected him of evil deeds. But he's just your gay vodka uncle and he loves all his adopted family so much and I just want to keep a closer on him at the start of the series.

Kellum. We only see him once in the second book, but he's mentioned in Eidolon by the Fool (Or Queenie pretending to be the Fool, again I'm not sure, there's Queenie interference for sure) And he was in one of the supplemental novellas. I think he will be making a bigger appearance in the next book.

Quinn's prophecies. I'll probably make a list of those for a separate master post.

Tallas. The Atlantean soul mates. This is a MAJOR spoiler. Rune says that Brand and he formed a talla bond the night of the attack. That it was what brought Brand out of the geas and got them to safety. The bond was gone when he woke up in the hospital and he's spent this whole time thinking he's somehow broken their talla bond. Something definitely happened between him and Addam in the Westlands, and I don't think Addam was wrong in assuming it was the budding of a talla bond. Because something sort of bond-like is also there now after the Hourglass Throne, after he used his bond with Brand to get him and Addam back to their time. My theory here is that they might be each other tallas, all three of them. Together. We know that it doesn't have to be a sexual relationship, though I don't think Addam would mind that one bit. Everything is pointing to the three of them being tied together somehow, and my theory is mostly that, before they were together together, no one talla bond could form and take precedence over the other. Now that they are together all the time, going on missions, living together, they have more opportunities for a bond to fully form and take hold. Assuming it involves all three of them.

And with that, I'm going to go read!

#the tarot sequence #k d edwards #the last sun #rune saint john #brand saint john #max saint john #quinn saint nicholas #addam saint nicholas #the hanged man #the hourglass throne #the eidolon #booklr #ttsrr

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bookaddict24-7 · 2 months ago

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

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289. Paradise Cove by Jenny Holiday--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

In my attempt to read more of my physical books, I have finally made my way to this book. I'm glad I have gotten back into this small town because this one was such a sweet read.

I love stories where one of the characters moves to a small town to, essentially, start over, especially after a bad breakup or big life event. Call me a hopeless romantic because that moment that the MC moves to the small town and immediately meets the love interest, I am HOOKED. There is, as a romance reader, very little else in the genre that makes me feel the way I do when we have the two characters meet (particularly in small town romances where one of the MCs is seen as an "outsider", but is still welcomed.)

Both MCs had some personal roadblocks to overcome. To be frank, the MMC had a bigger one because he is dealing with his grief and the idea of change in the form of the new town doctor. I did love, though, how she was the one to break through his walls and how surprised everyone was when she was the one he talked to.

I also love small town romances like this because of how kind everyone is to the new townie. They were all just so grateful and the whole vibe was cutesy and welcoming. Save for the heartbreaking climax between the two MCs, this whole book was like a warm cup of tea on a cool Autumn night. Their romance steadily grows, the sexual tension rises to a breaking point, and we get to learn more about their respective lives outside of their connection throughout the whole thing.

While there are definitely grief-heavy moments sprinkled throughout the book that will pull at the heartstrings, the imagery of the town, the welcoming atmosphere of Jenny Holiday's writing, and the two stubborn MCs who find love when they least expect it, PARADISE COVE was truly what the title states: a small bit of reading paradise hidden in a sea of romance novels. Books like this one always fall to the side, but I'm glad I finally picked it up! (And I DO have the third in the series on standby!)

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290. Lockjaw by Matteo L. Cerilli--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was a wild ride. If you love IT by Stephen King, but want a YA version then this is a must read for you!

I went into this completely blind and never knew what would happen next. There were so many twists and so many heartbreaking moments, but also that kind of horror in a small town that makes you want to make sure your doors are locked at night.

The story starts with the mysterious stranger who finds their way into this small town that gave me the creeps--especially when said town is essentially shunning a young character and is run by a creepy cop who wants the town to be "perfect". The way the story is told, braiding all of the eerie moments in with the seemingly more "normal" ones was done really well.

There is this underlying tension as the story progresses of a town that is truly hiding many secrets. The mysterious deaths and the haunting of the past and "lies" that fills the pages is what made me think of IT. There is something that is stalking the kids of the town and the way the story is written, full of red herrings and foreshadowing, helped create this atmosphere of terror that was building from the moment the MC drove into town. We also see the horrible side of racism and homophobia in a small town and that added to that already tense atmosphere of the story.

This book was just an unexpected ride and so perfect for the Halloween season. If you're a fan of IT, or scary stories about smalls towns full of uncomfortable vibes, then this might be your next read!

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291. A Love Like the Sun by Riss M. Neilson--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really wanted to love this one and at some points I did, but it didn't quite reach that standard I was expecting!

I had written a whole ass review and it got deleted. Sigh.

One of the issues I had with this book was that it was overhyped for me. I love going into books by authors I've never read completely blind because then it will set expectations way too high for me. And I fear that this happened with A LOVE LIKE THE SUN. I went in expecting something that would leave me feeling some sort of way about the romance, but it just left me feeling meh. It felt very surface level and anytime the story started to get deeper into the romance, it would crumble because of the MC's stubbornness.

And I get that the MC is dealing with the trauma of losing her father and of the love her parents shared, but I think that if she was afraid of having that kind of love, she would have also noticed how important communication is in a relationship. Her lack of communication with her love interest at the end of the book was what further pushed this book into a lower rating for me.

And while this book had a lot of things I would normally love in a romance--like the sexual tension, the spicy situations, the friendship turning into a lover situation, the fake dating, the obvious attraction that the love interest held for the MC, and the relationships between the MC and the people around her--I never fully connected. I don't know if it was the pacing or the frustrating MC, but something kept me back from fully connecting with the story.

I DID appreciate the callout on how Black women are treated by medical professionals, the success that the love interest finds in art as a Black man, the representation of working with textured hair since I've been trying to figure out my curls for the majority of my life, and the close connection between the MC and her mother. But these were all things that took a bit of a backseat to the frustrating MC's decision making.

I think this book could have been amazing (for me). Especially because all of the pieces were there, but it felt like they were put together just a bit off-kilter. I would have hoped that a friendship as old as the one the MC and the love interests had, they would have better communication, or a better sense of understanding. But it wasn't just that climactic moment that kind of ruined it for me. The whole thing was kind of underwhelming and unfortunately, I think this will be one of those books I won't really remember two years from now.

I can understand why so many people loved it, truly, but it just wasn't for me.

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292. The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed this--it was so whimsical and fun.

THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON is another one of those books that have been on my shelves for YEARS. I was surprised by it because it felt like a hidden gem on my shelves and I'm even more excited about reading more of my older books.

Allen's book was such a sweet and surprising read. It felt like the perfect kind of book for a late summer night of reading. I loved the small-town feel of it and the surprising level of magical realism. If it wasn't for the older characters experiencing their own moments, I would have almost called this YA. But I did really like the multi-generational storytelling. It felt weirdly cinematic?

I would have loved reading more books set in this small town, especially because there were so many potential stories to tell.

I think if you like stories with interesting and unique paranormal aspects, a bit of magic, a newcomer in a small town, and a second chance romance for two unlikely characters, then you'd like this one. It's not super long and holds a lot of charm. Perfect, like I said, for a warm night of reading!

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293. The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I've been hearing such great things about THE DARKNESS OUTSIDE US, so I went into this with a wary mindset, but came out thoroughly entertained.

First off, this is such a fun and unique (to me) storyline. The way it was presented was also great and made for an interesting experience the first time that big twist was introduced. It created this weird sense of urgency that had me craving the next page. It was also kind of creepy because it feeds into that fear so many of us have of technology and what the future of tech looks like.

The romance was sweet and surprisingly honest in the way it is portrayed (but then again, teenagers aren't as innocent as adults tend to think). I liked that someone who might relate to the relationship or the feelings it brings out in readers could relate and feel a sense of comfort in seeing these two teen boys fall in love and experience that love. I like that it was built out and developed well before the twists started coming. It acted as a nice base for their ever-growing relationship as they learned to trust each other and really work for their happiness and futures.

I wanted answers throughout the whole book and while we definitely got a chunk of them, I really want to read the sequel! The way the story left off felt like it could have been the end, but I think that sequel will add that extra touch that will make the story feel whole.

I highly recommend this if you're looking for a bit of an exciting read where something is always happening and you never really know what's coming next. I also recommend it if you were a fan of ALL THAT'S LEFT IN THE WORLD. Similar vibes, but different survival genres.

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294. Patricia Wants to Cuddle by Samantha Allen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I find the overall rating interesting but also not surprising. This was an underrated work of art and I took my sweet time with it.

PATRICIA WANTS TO CUDDLE is one of those books that feels like a slow cooker--you take your time with it while it's cooking, and then when it's ready to be devoured, Allen throws all of the flavours at you.

One of the best aspects of this book is the commentary on gender and how it is portrayed in media. We get the stereotypes of a reality tv show and the behind the scenes reality so we can see how easy it is to warp a narrative to fit what is expected for the audience. It was interesting seeing the different POVs of the girls because we get to see how they think of each other and what they think of the CATCH (the knockoff Bachelor contestant). It's always so fascinating to me to see how characters see each other, especially because it always makes it more realistic for me.

Also, we don't get any POVs from the male characters--which adds even more to the commentary on sexism that this book presents. But also, it makes it clearer that this is a girls' girl type of novel (especially with those twists). We see the men in this book constantly expecting certain things from women, or twisting narratives to fit them but make it seem like it's for a woman's benefit, yet the greatest irony is that none of them get a POV in the book.

I kind of wish I'd listened to the audiobook for this one because of the multimedia parts of the book. Those were a fun addition!

I was genuinely so entertained and I loved how gruesome and jarring it was. The ending was great and I'm so glad I finally picked up this awesome queer horror novel! I know it won't be for everyone, but I think those who are looking for horror novels with some great commentary on gender roles and the media's perception of women will really enjoy this one.

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295. Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

MONSTRILIO is one of those books that by the end you know you enjoyed it, but you're also questioning why. I knew it was going to be something unsettling from the very beginning when the grieving mother pulls out her deceased son's lung from his body. That whole scene set the mood and I didn't know what to expect moving forward.

At its core, this is a book about grief and the power of growing and moving forward with that grief. It was done in such a unique way that it might take a moment to realize the grief aspect, but it's weaved so well into the story that by the end, you might realize that Monstrilio is the embodiment of that grief. He is that walking, talking sense of loss that so many people wish didn't haunt them every day of their life.

The story was told from multiple perspectives in chunks of time. The last perspective was from M and it was so incredibly interesting to see how he viewed the world, especially knowing how he came to be and watching him grow into himself. It was also interesting to see how his parents viewed him after so many years and knowing the truth of his existence.

The conclusion felt like the perfect circle-closing moment. Everything came together into a powerful moment that I didn't know I was hoping for until it happened. I was not expecting to feel so many different emotions while reading this book. It was definitely a horror story, but it felt almost like the sweet side of horror (if we ignore all of the blood).

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296. Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend by M.J. Wassmer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ah, this book.

ZERO STARS, DO NOT RECOMMEND was a bit of a trip. It was giving my anxiety a lovely workout. I don't even know how many times I almost DNFed because of the MC's stupid decisions and actions. And I DO understand why he was the way he was, but man, he was all over the place.

One of the best things about this book that kept me reading was the writing. The story is told in third person, but the narrative voice was so sassy that it had me laughing every once in a while. And while the MC was making stupid choices, the narrative voice kept me hooked.

Almost all of the characters in this book need some sort of therapy, or were such assholes. A few people definitely deserved a punch or two. Although that ending made me feel a little sorry for some of them.

This was addicting and unique. The whole concept of it was interesting because I really had to suspend my disbelief to just enjoy the book and the plot line. I also really liked where the story was going because I am honestly all for survival books. This story felt like a human experiment of survival and what happens when one person is given too much power. It was just such an entertaining experience (even with the MC).

But with all of that being said, there was some great character growth and it was fun watching it happen. Once we get to the key reason of why the MC is the way he is, it made the story more enjoyable and I could empathize with him a lot more. Also, I loved his relationship with his girlfriend, even if at times he went a little macho.

Anyway, if you want a unique end of the world story set on a tropical island, then I think you might like this one! This is NOT a horror novel, but it is satirical and at oftentimes pretty funny.

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Happy reading!

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justforbooks · 1 month ago

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Lucky Loser – how Donald Trump squandered his wealth

A forensic accounting of the former president’s business empire reveals a reputation built on myth

Donald Trump started his career at the end of the 1970s, financed by his father Fred Trump. Over the years this transfer of wealth added up to around $500m in today’s money in gifts. My rough calculations say that, had he simply taken the money, leveraged it not imprudently, and passively invested it in Manhattan real estate – gone to parties, womanised, played golf, collected his rent cheques and reinvested them – his fortune could have amounted to more than $80bn by the time he ascended to the presidency in 2017.

And yet Trump was not worth $80bn in 2017. Instead, Forbes pegged him at $2.5bn – which, given the difficulties of valuing and accounting for real estate, is really anything between $5bn (£4bn) and zero (or less). It is in this sense that Pulitzer prize-winning New York Times reporters Russ Buettner and Susanne Craig call Trump a “loser”. He is indeed one of the world’s biggest losers. By trying to run a business, rather than just kicking back and letting the rising tide of his chosen sector lift his wealth beyond the moon, he managed to destroy the vast majority of his potential net worth.

How he did that is what Buettner and Craig chronicle in a book dense with facts and figures, but punctuated with moments of irony and dark humour – particularly when contrasting Trump’s public bravado with the often pathetic reality of his money management. The combination turns what might have been a rather boring tome, of interest only to trained financial professionals like me, into something of a page turner. Buettner and Craig paint a picture of Trump’s businesses as a chimera. As a New York real estate developer who wished to remain anonymous told me, they are “mirage[s], built on inherited wealth, shady deals, and a relentless pursuit of appearances over substance”. And yet, Wile E Coyote-like, he runs off the edge of the cliff, looks down, shrugs – and keeps going until his feet touch the ground again on the other side.

Buettner and Craig delve more deeply into this story than anyone I have encountered. They have done their interview and newspaper-morgue homework, checked it against tax information and business records spanning three decades, and so gained an unprecedented look into the real workings of Trump’s financial empire. They uncover, I think as much as we can get at it, the truth behind the narrative of his wealth and its indispensable support: the myth of a genius businessman that he has spun and that, deplorably, much of the press and his supporters have bought, hook, line and sinker. Their conclusion? He was always exaggerating how rich he was, and always skating remarkably close to the edge of financial disaster.

But though he squandered a great deal, it’s also true that he was extremely lucky. First, and most importantly, he was a beneficiary of the absolutely spectacular Manhattan real-estate boom. Second, he had things break his way at many crucial junctures that ought to have sunk him into total and irrevocable bankruptcy. Third, he was able to use his celebrity developer-mogul image to attract new business partners after his old ones had washed their hands of him. He was also lucky in the complacency of many of them with respect to his shenanigans: their willingness to play along and not find a judge to pull the plug.

What sort of psychology produces this kind of behaviour? Buettner and Craig psychoanalyse Trump as unable to take the hit of recognising his relative incompetence. A deep need for public validation as the master of the Art of the Deal led him, over and over again, to make increasingly risky decisions. The illusion of success had to be maintained at all costs, which meant that a loss had to be followed by an even bigger bet.

And so there Trump was at the start of 2017, in spite of everything, stunningly successful. Buettner and Craig call this an “illusion”. I profoundly disagree. To repeatedly save yourself from bankruptcy – to somehow manage to hand responsibility off to the people you do business with while you hotfoot it out of the picture – demonstrates considerable skill and ingenuity of some sort. Trump has exhibited great (if low) cunning and resilience when faced with what often appeared to be near-certain financial, entrepreneurial and business doom. It is, Buettner and Craig suggest, a combination of bravado and branding that allowed him to always walk away with something – usually at the expense of others.

Many of us hope that Trump’s story will end with a proper comeuppance, restoring the appropriate and just moral order of the universe, in which his galaxy-scale hubris does indeed ultimately call forth a satisfying nemesis. Until then, we must regard him as a remarkable success – although few philosophers would judge Trump’s brand of success as the kind worth having.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

#just for books #Russ Buettner #Susanne Craig #Lucky Loser #book review

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likehephaestionwhodied · 1 year ago

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Hi! I saw your comment on leatherdaddies/leather/kink at pride and you mentioned how this type of masculinity isn't meant to be performed for a het audience, and removing that framework is essentially hollowing out this type of masculinity. (?) I've been looking into modern media portrayals of non hegemonic masculinity and I was wondering if you had some good intro sources for leather culture? Based on the info in that post I'm wondering if there's some bleed through with pop culture/TV and the modern pop cowboy/space western but I could just be jumping to conclusions. At any rate would sill love and appreciate any recs you would be able to give--if not, totally understand! Either way I love the info that you added to that post a lot!!

It's like you knew I didn't want to be working on my thesis and have come to save me.

Okay so, it really depends on what you want for like "sources for leather culture" because if it's leather culture as it exists today put on your tightest Levis, and your heaviest leather boots and go to the local gay bar on leather night and make friends (easier said than done I know I've always lived in rural America, also pls don't go gawk leathermen we can tell) But if you want historic sources that I can help you with better.

The two books I cite the most in my thesis when it comes to leather masculinity are 1. Urban Aboriginals: A Celebration of Leathersexuality by Geoff Mains and 2. The Leatherman's Handbook by Larry Townsend.

The first is much easier to get your hands on than the second. You can just by Urban Aboriginals on Amazon or Thriftbooks or bookshops, probably even your local gay bookstore if you have one, it's still in print. I have the third edition I love that book SO MUCH it was originally published in the early 80s, and I use it as a reflection of the "golden" age of Leather in the 1970s.

Unfortunately, The Leatherman's Handbook and The Leatherman's Handbook II are out of print. That is not to say you can't get your hands on them. I spent an obscene amount of money to buy the pair on ebay. But also, I once found a Lesbian SM reader in my school's library, so you might beable to get it though an interlibrary loan? or maybe a pdf exists?

Another useful text that I cite quite a bit is Leather Folk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice, edited by Mark Thompson. This is an anthology of essays written by, you guessed it, leatherfolk both gay men and others. (I am assuming because of the post that you are most interested in gay leathermen)

Regarding the rest of your post on pop-culture portrayals of non-hegemonic masculinity (I am assuming you are using that term in an academic "I've read R.W. Connell" way, if not RIP, sorry again I'm working my thesis the first chapter of which is very "I'm Read R.W. Connell") I have one thing to say:

I am 90% sure only three of these men are gay, that only three of these men are intimately aware of the costumes they are wearing. David Hodo, the construction worker, Randy Jones the Cowboy, and Glenn Hughes. I wish I could find the photo of the three of them in their costumes with one very important detail, a single button of their 501s is undone. If you are a gay man crusing in the 1970s you own a pair of levi 501s that are so tight you have to shimmy into them, and you leave one of the buttons undone to make your dick bigger. You can also just tell when they're dancing who understood the assaignment.

I give all this information because the village people have such a weird relationship with the gay community. I haven't done a lot of work with them specifically so I'm sure someone is gonna read this and know xyz. But these guys are named after the west village, where gay men lived in new york, and got their start preforming for gay men. the costumes they wear are of course different types of masculinity idealized in the gay community. Their songs (at least the first iteration of the village people) are usually about gay things. YMCA is of course about crusing, but "San Francisco" from their debut is even more overt along side "Go West," "In the Navy," and "macho man"

youtube

I've inserted this video as a visual so when I say, "the three gay ones understand the assignment," you know what I mean, their performance is campy where, where the other two are missing that.

But deconstructing the Village people, or at least the three queerest ones takes an understanding of queer history. In the same way that the Leatherman is a "biker," the construction worker is not really a construction worker (this is not to say that Leathermen are not often bikers, they are) The construction worker is a "Clone" the promiscuous gay men of the 70s who wore Levi jeans, work boots, tight t-shirts, and flannel and solicited sex from other clones in public. Similarly, the cowboy might be a cowboy, but he might also be one of the hundreds of men who hung out at western-themed bars (closely related to leather) and are the prototype of the bear. All three of these particular queer masculinities resist the feminine archetype of queer men HOWEVER, when produced for mass conception, they are camped up.

I think that this would be an instructive place for you to start, I don't know that I can help with more modern pop-culture though.

#leather history #queer history

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genuflectx · 5 months ago

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Apostles of Mercy Spoilers (Review)

I was very excited to start reading Apostles of Mercy after waiting so long!! I enjoyed it, but I also have some mixed feelings about chunks of the book. I'm going to attempt to write about it without my thoughts rambling on too long, so here we go...

Each book has gotten bigger; book one focuses on Cora and Ampersand, with one POV character. Book two expands to the ramifications of ETIs becoming public, but still has a heavy focus on Cora and Ampersand with an added bonus of Nikola and Kaveh, so it has two POV characters. Book three is the conclusion to the personhood debate and introduces the third alien species, has a very small focus on Cora and Ampersand, and has three POV characters.

Firstly, I have to admit while there were parts of AOM that I enjoyed a lot, there were also large chunks and chapters I found to be a bit dull to trudge through, or even bureaucratic, particularly Sol's POV. Much of the parts I did not quite care for were characters flitting from point A to point B and talking about how they will be flitting from point A to point B. Additionally, I did not always care for the dialogue that took a similar vein; there was a lot of explaining, a lot of matter-o-fact exchanges, but no particularly scene of dialogue really stood out as iconic in the way some of the scenes from prior books did.

I guess, put simply, there was not a lot of distinctive imagery that captured me and large parts of the dialogue fell flat. Book one has iconic scenes in the desert, the scene with Cora standing still in the woods staring Ampersand down for the first time. Book two has the metaphor scene and the redwoods scene. But in book three things move so fast and there are so many locations, I cannot think of any one scene that stood out as making me think "damn that's cool as shit" when I read it. The closest thing might be Nik shielding Paris in the cave, or Paris running through a minefield, but that still didn't evoke the same wow-factor.

Onto the characters!! Paris is the newest to join the roster, and is one of the new POV characters. While I like Paris, and I'm glad my predictions of her carrying on to be Nikola's friend were correct, sadly the majority of her time was spent as a prisoner. I really liked the beginning where she was getting to know Nik and a few of the scenes with her and the sister-species, but most of her chapters were very... meh. Which was disappointing. I think what made some of her chapters meh was her lack of meaningful relationships after her fight with Cora. She talks to the juveniles, but she does not make friends with one. She has Nik translate for her, but they do not get to know each other on a deep, personal level, not the way Cora did with Ampersand nor the way Kaveh did with Nik. Her reunion with Cora is short lived despite the lengths Cora went to find her, and then their relationship is dusted away. What's left is Nik, who declares he wishes to keep her- potentially to be her symphyle- after so little emotional development occurred during her capture. It was a surprise and a little sudden to me, but I guess I can't complain about weird alien/human romance. Though, it did not feel nearly organic enough for my tastes.

Sol is the next new POV character. While I was glad to get to know more about him seeing as he's been around since book one, I couldn't tell you a thing I learned about him, other than he has legitimately cruel habits by making Cora uncomfortable (what boiled down to a form of sexual assault, wahoo). Otherwise, I didn't really like his chapters very much. There really is not much else to say about him. His chapters are means to an end, but I did like his ending, cliche as it was. Cliche isn't always bad, and sometimes you really do just want to see a douchebag get all their bones broken and cry. A like Sol as a character, just... not reading the majority of his chapters.

Lastly, Cora remains as a POV character, though to a much lesser extent than the other books. Cora is the most interesting to me, which makes me sad how little we get of her. She shattered into a million pieces along with Ampersand in the last book, and here she is a year later having built herself back up. Yeah, built herself up with walls. And I love it. She still has human empathy, or at least sympathy, but she and Ampersand have fallen into a much more natural relationship flow, which for them of course means a dynamic that any healthy human couple would balk at. Cora is beneath him, but he will still listen to her. And, with high language, he clearly wanted to have it so he could understand her better (and maybe in the future vice versa), because he probably knew he was often being a shitty partner for a human. But you can't fix what you don't understand. Ampersand being softer and helping people because she wants him to, Cora being filled with a murderous, alien fury, just... chef's kiss. And why not? Why shouldn't they take over the world instead of a violent, gun-slinging military government? 🤔 Would it really be any worse?

And damn, finally, Ampersand understands what human sex is like, and even implied he would be willing to satisfy his partner, but alas. No weird alien sex in this book. Lame.

Outside of POV characters, we get to know a few juveniles of the sister-species, but I wish we had gotten to know them even more. Most of their interaction with Paris felt more like it was there for plot only, she doesn't really form a bond with them. And Nik is, much to my disappointment, a glorified alien language translator for about 75% of the time. But damn, am I glad he came to his senses after getting all his power back. Realizing that maybe he didn't need death yet, he just needed to mend his relationship to his last living partner, and that might be enough for him until they finally could die together. And Kaveh- he remains a ghost among all the characters, still haunting their thoughts and feelings. I loved Cora's send off for him at the end, and how she took down her ass of a father. That was very satisfying.

There are some parts of the book I thought were meh, or didn't 100% make sense, or there was too much of or not enough. But overall it's still a solid book. I have a hard time imagining myself re-reading this one over and over like I have the other two, though. Getting through the chapters I find dreary during a 2nd read sounds like not much fun, but then I'd end up skipping through quite a lot of the book.

I could write more, particularly about the relationships (or lack of) but this would get incredibly long. So... that's it! Apostles of Mercy!! Will there be a forth, or all five? I hope so... but I guess this is a tidy conclusion if not, except that they never boned (and it would also be cool to have the Superorganism contact humans too).

#axiom's end #apostles of mercy #axioms end #AOM #noumena #book review #apostles of mercy spoilers #AOM spoilers

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choicesficwriterscreations · 1 year ago

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CFWC Writer of the Month - June 2023: peonyblossom

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @peonyblossom We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: peonyblossom Blog Masterlist AO3

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Peony, Jay, or Ethan

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I started playing Choices when it was first introduced after I saw the promos on HSS and HWU. Ofc the first book I played was High School Story!!

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Choices fandom because of Thomas Hunt LMAO. After playing the Thomas dates in HWU, I looked him up on Tumblr to see if there was any fan content, and there was (HUGE shoutout to @lovealexhunt and @gutsfics because their works were the first ones I saw). Through following a few Thomas Hunt fan accounts, I found some other stuff in the fandom, like CFWC, and decided to read some other really popular stories, and it just snowballed lol.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I wanted something that wasn’t fandom-specific so I could post content for any of the many fandoms I’m in. And peonies are my favorite flower!

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

The first first post in my archive is a reblog of a One Direction fanfic. My first original post was about the show Miraculous Ladybug.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Ooh. A long time. Sixth or seventh grade, so nine or ten years?

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite Choices book is America’s Most Eligible, but my favorite book to write about is Red Carpet Diaries/Hollywood U. I think I just like reading and writing about stories in the film industry since that’s what I do, lol.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

Waiting Game / peonyblossom / AO3

I still like it! But, if I were writing it today, I would probably make it third person instead of first. It’s still cute, though!

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Okay, probably a tie between What If It’s Now? and Love Lost.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I think there are a few I thought would’ve gotten a little more attention when I first posted them, but by now, I don’t really think that anymore.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

FLUFF. I mean, I pretty much only write fluff right now; I just love it so much!

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Oh yeah. I think I see myself the most in my RCD/HWU MC, Jackie. In the HWU Universe, she’s a film student, like me, and in both universes, she’s an actor, like me!

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Finding the time to do it 🥲 Other than that, probably just get started. I tend to psych myself out, especially with bigger projects.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

So. Many.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

It depends on who it is, but I’d probably let them. As for what I’d recommend, it also depends on the person. Honestly, might just send them my AO3 and let them decide ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

Probably more than I know! I’m sure there are plenty of authors who influence me subconsciously. But, I would say I tend to be influenced by classic novels like The Great Gatsby and The Picture of Dorian Gray.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Forever Sounds Perfect! I would love to just watch Ethan propose to Sydney 🥺

17- Do you write original fiction?

Yeah! I mostly do screenwriting, but I also do fiction and poetry writing.

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

Hiking, reading, and yoga!

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

🥰 or 🫶

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #writer of the month #peonyblossom #june 2023 #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic

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hella1975 · 10 months ago

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Hi hella!!!

I feel like i always start these off or end them by saying that these things are going to be incomprehensible in some way, mainly bc i have trouble translating whats going on in my mind into written words so i really dont know how much of my list thingies make sense to you but this one is especially probably going to not make much sense. (also bc i send them a lot when im either very tired or not sober, but i am sober and wide awake rn so this might be a different kind of incomprehensible)

I found one of my old drafts for an ask from around a year ago and it was a follow up response to the last chapter you posted at the time, so im not sure how its going to sound without the context of that specific chapter, but i also mentioned in one of my other asks that i add stuff in last minute and that ask i added a shit ton of stuff so i dont have any of that pretyped out so im going by memory. But im sending it again bc i havent seen you answer it

(please do not interpret this as ‘why didnt you answer my ask >:/’ or me rushing you to answer asks or anything like that, but like I said its been a year so im assuming tumblr ate it. If not and you just havent cleaned out your ask box and you find the original, congratulations you’ll know what i originally said. Bc idk how accurate this will be)

Theres two different ways that you seem to write metaphors (idk if thats what theyre called im not caught up on my literary terminology)

(im scrolling through your blog rn looking for my other asks and tumblr really did you dirty in your asks system like i started scrolling and the third one down was from 2021 and im fighting for my life trying to find my tag (thank you for my tag btw its very useful to me))

Anywho, most of your metaphors ( to me) can be split into two categories. Theres the simple ones and the complex ones. Now this might seem obvious but im going to explain to you how these have different effects on my brain.

An example of the ‘simple’ ones is

““If Nanook’s tone had a note of seriousness, then Zuko’s was the entire orchestra.”” (idk what chapter this is from its been a while)

You have a lot of these kinds of whatever the haick kind of literary technique this is (is this a metaphor i’ve been trying to google it for like ½ an hour and i cant figure it out) BUT these type of things that are simple and easy to process is one of my favorite things about the way you write. I think this is a very common technique but the way you do it to me is just a lot more unique than the ways ive seen it done before. Its extremely fluent with the voice of the characters and brings a perfect kind of vibe to the ‘conversation’ (or story, text, whatever) and it paints the picture of what your trying to say perfectly. I also really like how these types of things arent ever in Zukos pov a lot (sometimes it is, but not nearly as much, I’ve noticed) and its not in the more serious like revelations that you drop these in. Like I said, it adds to the voice of the characters, bc of the contrast of Zuko constantly having revelations and dramatic archs and stuff, and the other characters just in general being a lot more calm. Its like when youre listening to a song and you have the lyrics and the like ‘main’ music behind the lyrics, but then when you listen to the song a lot you notice the smaller, like backup music that adds a lot to the song and makes it a lot more enjoyable than if it was just the lyrics and the louder more up front music.

Then in contrast you have the bigger ‘metaphors’

An example of this is ‘You curse in words already invented’

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE FIC.

OF ANY FIC OR BOOK EVER READ

AND THIS IS WHY

When I tell you I could not figure out what this meant for months I am AWFUL with stuff like this and interpreting it my english teachers hate me bc of it. Id have the question ‘why were the curtains blue’ and my answer would be ‘bc the people who decorated the room like blue maybe theyre interior designers and it goes with the room 😊 and thats so hot of them bc i love blue too’

But even thought i couldnt figure it out it stayed in my head and i probably thought about it once a day (i mean this literally, i think about that part all the time) and i cant remember the context for that or anything but i do remember that i knew it was a wonderful phrase.

I’ve mentioned in my other asks how whenever im reading anything at all that you’ve written (whether its tams, or toab, or in the tags of something even if its like 10 words), everything you type comes out so fluidly like a formula or a color wheel or however i put it last time i talked about this. And this is on the prodigious end of the spectrum of this.

But phrases like that are another part of the fic, theyre like the lyrics of the song. Like the phrases that gets all the attention and gets put in fanart and that gets quoted in comment sections because they deserve that recognition and you deserve that recognition and are just a reminder of how incredibly talented you are.

I mean that in the most sincere way that i know how to express.

I am constantly in awe of you and your writing style, and i really do think of you as one of the most talented writers of everything ive ever read.

And something else worth mentioning is that it isnt just your ao3 that portrays that. Like if I were to just read your ao3 I’d be like ‘oh wow this person is an amazing writer’ But your tumblr persona plays into it a lot more (In my opinion). Because then you see like more ‘backround’ stuff on ao3. And more of your system (im not articulating this in the way i mean it very well) and you get privy to the fact that you’re not a 30 year old with a masters in english and that you’ve never had any formal education on writing. I vaguely remember you talking about a story about a sailor (??? i might be misremembering that) that you wrote when you were a child and thinking ‘oh wow so she’s always been like that’. And its stuff like that that you dont get on ao3 that kind of reaffirms how incredible of a writer you are.

And this (to me) makes you a really easy person to admire. (ik i touched on this in a different ask but i dont remember if it was one of my list asks or not) but as someone who probably isnt going to ever be able to get an education around writing, it kind of reassures me that i dont need that to be great at it.

(i kind of feel like a lot of the stuff in this ask is too like ‘simple’ or obvious to be given a lot of weight, but this whole thing is about the kinds of things you do that brings me personally joy and the metaphors are one of them so)

Also on an off note when i was looking through your asks to try to find my tag, I noticed that i send you a heavy percentage of your anonymous asks (mainly without my alias) and I thought that was funny. But also i hope it doesnt come across as obsessive or weird, I swear i do that to a lot of people on here, I’m just a very social person. .😂

Also Im in your tbos server (lurking in the shadows) and someone pointed out that whenever you do the reaction emojis you always do the white ones, and thats going on the official ‘my favorite things about hella’ list because that was genuinely one of the funniest things ive seen.

Also the ‘anytime you type its very fluid (im too lazy to scroll up and see how i put it rn) also carrys on to discord. I think that i could probably block out the user names and be able to figure out that its you talking every time, you have a very distinct way of talking.

Also i wanted to mention that every time you answer these i read them again and i want to say like 1/3 of what i sasy, i have no recollection of. And i never have any idea what im talking about. so i think thats funny.

LIST ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN BAWLING MY EYES OUT HELLO BABY WELCOME BACK FROM WAR IVE MISSED YOU IM JUST HERE LIKE THIS RN

#this is so something i needed to hear rn bc always during exam season i 'lose' my ability to write like even the writing i do get done #just feels so fucking stale and awful imo and i just have to force myself to push through or else ill have a crisis about it #so i started studying in DECEMBER and it's now almost february exams are done but i CANT get out of that mindset for some reason #like ive been in a really bad writing flunk where im ABLE to write but the stuff i do write just feels genuinely terrible #like im losing it about dog teeth atm bc this story i was so in love with just feels so basic and underwhelming on a reread #and idk how much of that is me being insane and perfectionist and how much is valid criticism #so being told that actually there are people who not only enjoy my writing but are so thoroughly convinced it's a fundamental part of me #and something i am inherently GOOD at to the point even the way i talk CASUALLY is telling of it is just. oughhh im pacing my room #and the fact it doesn't HAVE to be my pretentious prose shit sometimes the more 'basic' stuff is STILL good. you're in my walls #i cant believe you're in the discord i hope you say hi!!! i dont bite!!! <- lying #also those assholes can take my silly white emojis from my COLD DEAD HANDS. white thumbs down will never die #ask #list anon

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