#if I ever start to drink wine - I want those socks :D

[nei-ning]

Inspired by real life socks what I saw online. If it's hard to read, those socks have a text which goes; "If you can read this bring me a glass of wine."

I apologize how Dorian looks. It's amazingly difficult to draw him in Medibang Paint unlike in Paint Tool Sai. Bull, in the other hand, I can draw super well in both programs :D Dorian seems to be more picky, ahah! But that's just fine! <3 Forces me to use Sai which I haven't use in 3 years.

[pressedinthepages]

Pivot

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Ciri & Eskel (Platonic/Familial), Geralt/Eskel, Ciri/OFC

Rating: T

Masterlist

a/n:  deadicateddeath on AO3 gave me this lovely prompt for this next installment :) [ Could a future installation be Ciri weaponizing her abilty to get Eskel to talk to her about anything to make him indirectly talk about his pining and waiting for someone for a lifetime, and asking how you KNOW if someone likes you back and then hitting him with, on the way out the door, "Then how come you don't see it when someone shows it to you?" and LEAVES so Eskel has to unpack that on his own.  Ciri digging right into Eskel's traumas is very very very good and I enjoy it very much. ]

thanks to @sometimesiwrite​ for being a great beta/idea machine/friend :)

(There is a link on my page where you can be added to my taglist :D)

Warnings: language, softer than that really good whipped frosting that comes on bomb ass cupcakes, ~yearning~, eskel gets to borrow the brain cell for a sec

Ciri lends a hand.

    Eskel wiped his hands on the soft knees of his pants as he turned away from the cutting board. It was littered with various vegetables that had been peeled and quartered in preparation for supper. He turned and walked up to the window, peering out at the snow falling lazily to the ground. Eskel could feel the chill atop his forearms and the heat blossoming from the fireplace at his back. 

    He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose, reveling in the peace that hung in the air. The sun hung high in the sky and glinted off the icicles dripping from the ledge and Eskel could hear the gentle crackling of fresh snow freezing and sticking on the ground. He thought that he may be content to stay in this moment forever, and it was blissfully quiet.

    Well, maybe too quiet.

    As if summoned by the mere thought of shenanigans, a deafening *boom* shook the old stones of the castle and Eskel merely sighed and turned back to his vegetables. This was not a new concept for Eskel, having grown long used to his peace being disturbed time and time again by the same old culprit.

    “Shit, kid,” he heard Lambert growl and scurry to his feet a floor up and a bit over to his right, precisely where the alchemy lab is situated. 

    “No, no,” Eskel hung his head when he heard Ciri whisper back, fully recognizing them both for the agents of chaos that they were. “This is great! The dimeritium dust worked perfectly, so now we just have to stabilize the mixtu-”

    Eskel’s heart skipped a beat when he heard familiar footsteps heading in his direction and he grinned to himself right before the door swung open. Eskel always appreciated how Geralt looked, but his ‘start of Winter’ look just may have been his favorite. Tight black trousers and a dense tunic, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and contrasting drastically with his pale skin. Silver hair spilling onto his shoulders and just the hint of stubble coming in, topped off with a pair of thick woolen socks and not a boot in sight. 

    Geralt padded into the kitchen and slid up next to Eskel, bumping his shoulder and staying close at his side. Eskel tried not to breathe in too deeply or else he would get caught up in the heady musk that surrounded Geralt. He snatched up a carrot and gave Eskel a shit-eating grin and Eskel just couldn’t find it in himself to care. Geralt could wreck his entire garden and give him that stupid smile and Eskel wouldn’t be able to be mad at him if he tried. 

    Geralt leaned back against the wall as Eskel turned back to the table of vegetables. He let his gaze wander up the strong forearms exposed by the rolled-up sleeves, lingering on the sheer breadth of his shoulders that flex with every chop he makes. 

“Anything I can help you with, Wolf?” Eskel asked, not even looking up. If he had, though, he would have caught the blush creeping up Geralt’s neck at being caught. 

“Ah-well, I was uh…” Geralt floundered, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he heard footsteps running towards the kitchen. “Incoming.”

Two young women burst into the kitchen in a flurry of laughter, bright silver hair and dark waves catching in the light. “Ladies,” Eskel greeted, still keeping his eyes trained on the chopping in front of him.

“Master Eskel,” the dark-haired one replied. Geralt snorted as Eskel turned round to her, blowing with his lower lip in an effort to tame the hair drooping into his eyes. It never worked. 

“Sala, I’ve told you. Eskel is fine.”

Sala flushed and reached out for Ciri’s hand, which was easily given with a soft gleam of the eyes. “Sorry, Eskel.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Eskel reassured her, returning to his task. “Just want you to be comfortable here. I know Ciri does too, and it took her forever to not call me anything other than Sir Eskel. And I never have been, nor will I ever be, a knight.”

“But you’re just so noble and good,” Ciri argued, leaning against Eskel’s shoulder. “Why would I use anything other than a fitting title?”

Geralt hummed in agreement, pulling Eskel away from the vegetables once more. He met Geralt’s eyes across the kitchen and raised an eyebrow. Geralt shrugged in response, glancing over to Ciri and jutting his chin in response. Gods, they’ve known each other for too long. 

By the time the two of them had finished their silent conversation, Sala had left, and Ciri walked over next to Geralt. “Would you work with me on sword training this afternoon?”

“Won’t Sala be bored?”

“No, silly,” Ciri giggled, “She’ll be joining us.”

Geralt sighed and nodded, pushing himself away from the wall and turning to walk out of the kitchen. “Care to join us, Eskel?”

“No, need to finish this.” Eskel groaned inwardly, for he longed for nothing more than to see Geralt all sweaty and strong under the winter sun. 

“Could I borrow you in the library after supper?” Ciri asked after Geralt left the room.

Eskel looked up at her, noting the way her hands wrung themselves and hearing her heartbeat flutter in the air between them. “Of course. Always, Swallow.”

Ciri nodded and spun on her heel, striding out of the door with a well-practiced confidence that ran down to the bone. Eskel smiled before chucking the vegetables into the pot over the fire. 

***

Lambert was getting old. Eskel watched as he settled into a chair by the fire in the main chamber of the keep, grunting under his breath as he got comfortable. And then, by the Gods, he was snoring and drooling not more than half a minute later. Vesemir was puttering around in the lower portion of the castle, in the damp greenhouse situated next to the hot springs where they all bathed. Geralt was probably out in the stables, and Sala had excused herself to take a warm bath in peace. Which meant that Ciri was probably already waiting for him in the library, glass of wine in hand. 

Once he shouldered the heavy oak door to the library open Eskel toed off his boots, leaving the thick socks on as he crossed over to where Ciri was sitting cross-legged by the fire. While she did already have a glass in her hand, it wasn’t filled with wine. It was a heady, spiced apple cider that Geralt loves more than almost anything. 

As Eskel kneeled down beside her she held out another glass filled with cider, which Eskel gratefully accepted. He grinned into the cup before taking a long drink, feeling warmth pool in his gut that had nothing to do with the alcohol. It felt like one of Geralt’s low laughs, or the bolts of lightning that explode across his skin when they bump into each other. 

Eskel sighed as he peered into the fire, and Ciri reached out to place a hand on his knee. “You alright, Uncle Eskel?”

Eskel smiled, nodding his head. “Yeah, Swallow. I’m fine. Now, what did you want to talk about?”

Now it was Ciri’s turn to sigh and turn away, and Eskel watched as the light from the fire danced over her silver hair. “I-well. How do you know if someone loves you in return?”

Eskel tilted his head, letting his mind find those fuzzy edges where his love lay. He thought back to how he watched Ciri and Sala together, how it was blindingly obvious for anyone on the outside to see their love. But it’s always harder to see from inside. 

“When she’s hurting, whether it’s physically or mentally, who does she seek out first?”

Ciri thought for a moment, “Me. Bu-”

“And when you’re happy, what does she do?”

“She-she’s happy too. Esk-”

Eskel shook his head. “Wait, Ciri. Let me finish. What about when you’re apart. I know you write each other. Does she miss you?”

“Well, of course, but I wasn-”

“And does she seek you out when you return?”

“Yes, sometimes she finds me first, Eskel can I ju-”

“And doe-”

“Eskel. Stop.”

And he did. He blinked and snapped his mouth shut, looking over at Ciri with bewilderment in his eyes. She was gripping the cup in her hands with enough force to turn her knuckles white. “Ciri?”

She drained the last of her cider and stood, nodding to herself as she strode to the door. “Thank you, Uncle Eskel.”

Eskel stayed seated on the floor, trying desperately to wrap his mind around the change in direction. “Ciri, I-I wouldn’t worry. Sala came up here with you. Of course she loves you.”

Ciri smiled, almost a little bit sadly. “I wasn’t talking about me and Sala. Maybe you should talk to Geralt.”

And with that, she was gone. Whisked away by a stray breeze, leaving Eskel gobsmacked on the rug before the fire. He took inventory of his surroundings before leaning back against the chair behind him, sipping his cider as his brain played catch-up.

‘When he’s hurting, who does he seek out?’ Eskel remembered all of the times he had patched Geralt up, whether it had been as young boys before the Trials or as seventy-year-old men after getting his ass handed to him by his adopted daughter. He remembered holding Geralt in the dark as he shook with sensory overload after a second batch of mutagens, and cupping the back of his neck and pressing their foreheads together after the nightmare of Blaviken.

‘When I’m happy, what does he do?’ Geralt smiled the brightest when he saw Eskel with Lil’ Bleater snuggled in his jerkin, or whenever he reached a new level of control over his signs. He never looked that happy when it was his own successes, but looking back, Eskel wants to reach out and keep that smile tucked away next to his heart. 

‘Does he miss me?’ Fuck. Well, of course, Geralt missed him, Eskel assumed. He could always note the turn of Geralt’s scent from something mellow and just fine to abruptly happy and content when they found each other again. Every. Single. Time. 

‘Does he seek me out?’ More times than Eskel can count, especially in recent years, Geralt had found him on The Path. Sure, Eskel had done it before too, heard rumors about another Witcher running about not too far away. And when he would head that way and he  picked up Geralt’s scent, he chased him further until finding him nudged up against a tree looking all the world like he had just dropped there from some other plane. But now it felt like Eskel was the one being stumbled upon more often than not, and suddenly it all clicked into place. 

Fuck. When did that kid get so smart?

[oediex]

49 Questions You Have Never Been Asked tagmeme

I got tagged by @jarakrisafis a while back and since I liked theirs and @felassan‘s replies so much, I figured I’d do it.

Uhm, I guess I’ll tag @blarrghe, @lovegoesalongway, @sleepbeliever, @localwhiskeylez​, @silverslitherer and @spontaneoustangent. If they’re up for it. Always fun to get to know people better.

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

Well, it’s bamboo, so I guess it’s light brown. It’s completely worn, though, I need to get a new one.

2. A food you never eat?

Animals.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Neither! I guess I know how to dress myself? When I sleep, I’m usually too hot though.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Feeding my babies.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

I... don’t have one? I don’t eat candy. Love chocolate, though. As dark as it gets.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event?

No. I find it quite boring. Would have more fun doing the sporting myself.

7. What was the last thing you said out loud?

Telling the dogs to come back inside so I could go back to my nap.

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

Chocolate-flavoured and cruelty-free.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Orange juice! I usually drink orange juice with my meals because it helps with iron uptake from my food. :)

10. Do you like your wallet?

I do, actually. One wallot, for my cards, is actually a little sleeve that once held sugar beans, which are given in Belgium when a child is born. And the wallet that holds my cash is a little sort of folding coin pouch with a clickety lid? Kind of like this. But with a different pattern. It was probably a gift or a souvenir at some point in my teenage years? My previous wallet, which was made from a drink carton and given to my by a couchsurfer, (and that I really really liked as well, by the way) truly started falling apart at some point (I really held on to it for a long time but then my coins started falling through the holes, so I had to admit that was the end), so I needed to find a new wallet and didn’t really want to buy one. And then I found these two little pouches that I’d kept around for a while without using them but thinking they’d be useful someday, and I found that one was perfect for my cards and the other for my coins! Wow, who’d have thought this question would get the longest answer???

11. What was the last thing you ate?

I made gazpacho for lunch. :) And then I had some ‘fun cereal’ (as my ex-housemate used to call his unhealthy cereal) as a sort of dessert.

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

No. I haven’t bought new clothes in years. I buy almost all of my clothes second-hand. If we’re counting that as new clothes ... yeah, it’s still been a while.

13. The last sporting event you watched?

Ha! Like, on tv? Okay, I guess a couple of years back, when I lived in England, a friend invited me to come watch the finale of Wimbledon? I think?

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

There’s no such thing.

15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. My parents came around to bring something on their way to the zoo that’s around my corner. 

16. Ever go camping?

We used to go on a camping vacation every year when I was a kid. I don’t really do vacations anymore. I enjoy being at home. :)

17. Do you take vitamins?

Is iron a vitamin? I take those sometimes. I’ve also taken vitamin D in the past and in the winter I might take some once a month. So far, I haven’t had to take any vitamin B12, somehow my body has enough stored or something? We’ll see what the test says in a couple of months. Last year’s blood test, my doctor also said something about my calcium being a bit low, so might have to take that one soon as well, if that’s still the case.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

No. Never did. Technically I’m catholic but I don’t take communion anymore when I’m in a church for weddings or funerals.

19. Do you have a tan?

Omg, no. I’m so pale people often ask me if I’m feeling okay.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

PIZZA. The cruelty-free kind. I don’t mind Chinese food, though, especially since I’m vegan. Give me all the vegetables!

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don’t ever use a straw.

22. What color socks do you usually wear?

I rarely wear socks because I’m usually barefoot... When I do, they are a variety of colors and patterns. Usually, when I need some new ones, I put them on my Christmas/birthday list and see what my family comes up with. Once, when I was a teenager, my parents bought me Harry Potter socks and to this day, those are the coolest socks I’ve ever owned.

23. Ever drive above the speed limit?

I don’t drive, so no.

24. What terrifies you?

The fact that I’ve started lowering the dose of one of my antidepressants. I’m very very scared to fall back into a depressive episode. I’ve been episode-free for 2 years now.

25. Look to your left what do you see?

The back of the couch I’m lying on. The book Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks is lying on top of it, because I’ve just finished it. It was excellent.

26. What core do you hate?

So, I think this is meant to say “what chore do you hate”, so I’ll just answer that question. I don’t enjoy cleaning the bathroom. It’s a lot of work. The rest of the house is fine.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

Well, currently, as I’ve been watching The Good Place with my housemate, it reminds me of the part of that show that takes place in Australia.

28. What is your favorite soda?

Soda is a soft drink, right? I really like cola. But I drink it rarely. I prefer the organic kind they have at the farm where I get my vegetables. I really like Coca Cola too, but I don’t like the company so I try to avoid buying that.

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive through?

I never ever go to a fast food place.

30. Who was the last person you talked to?

The dogs that live in my house, when I told them to come back inside. See question 7. I mean, in a way, those two questions are kind of the same?

31. Favorite cut of beef?

The kind that doesn’t exist.

32. Last song you listened to?

Pfoo, probably something by Billy Lockett?

33. Last book you read?

Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks! It’s a book about a village in the 1600s that goes into quarantine (voluntarily!) when the plague arrives from London in a box of cloth. It’s based on real events! The village’s name is Eyam. Look it up. :) Next book I’ve already started is the last book in the Earth’s Children series by Jean M. Auel, The Land of Painted Caves. I started the series about a year ago!

34. Favorite day of the week?

All days are the same to me. :) I guess I like weekdays, because then I have the house to myself (well, excluding the dogs that live here and the foster kittens that might be hanging around too.)

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can, actually. I once had to do this as a challenge at a Scouting Summer camp and I can do it ever since. In English I’m a little slower than in Dutch, though.

36. How do you like your coffee?

Non-existent.

37. Favorite pair of shoes?

No shoes. Barefoot is the best.

38. At what time do you usually go to bed?

Around 10pm.

39. At what time do you normally get up?

Around 8 or 9. I bring my housemate’s kid to school.

40. What do you prefer - sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets, because I’m usually not around for sunrises.

41. How many blankets are on your bed?

Currently, just a duvet sheet (without the duvet) and one blanket. By winter time, I want to have figured out how to use multiple blankets instead of a duvet, because I always get so hot while I’m sleeping and I hate it. So I want to get rid of my duvet.

42. Describe your kitchen plates?

Well. Only one of the kitchen plates here is mine? All the others are my housemates’. So the one that is mine has a ladybird on it. It was a gift once. I like ladybirds.

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

Wine. Mostly red. Sometimes white. Never rosé.

44. Do you play cards?

No?

45. Can you change a tire?

On my bicycle, I can. I don’t do cars.

46. What is your favorite province?

Can’t say I have one.

47. Favorite job you ever had?

Teaching philosophy at university. :)

48. How did you get your biggest scar?

Well, when I was about 8, I was cycling down a hill with my dad on my way to a Scouting meeting. For some reason it was just me that day - I guess my sisters didn't have a meeting that day or mine was on a different day than usual. And so we were cycling down the hill and going very fast, like in the 30s km/h. I remember my dad commenting on that. And at the bottom of the hill, a pedestrian path was reintroduced, where beforehand there was only a cycling path. So as I was a kid, I moved to go cycling on the pedestrian path. And there was a little difference in height and somehow my wheels slipped and I fell really hard on the sidewalk. I remember sitting on the doorstep of a house there with my dad. I was crying very hard. And I had cuts and bruises all over. One of those bruises was on my hand, on my wrist. About the size of a £2 coin, but oval, not round. It wasn’t bleeding, but it was grazed pretty deeply and you could see the blood was just underneath the skin. We cycled on to the Scouting meeting place, because it was pretty close by, where they cleaned me up. They asked if I wanted to stay then, but I didn’t, so we cycled back home and I spent the rest of that day resting in the garden in the sun. I vividly remember this. Anyway, long story short, that became a pretty big scar. A part of my skin that was always a bit darker than the rest. Kind of looked like a birth mark. Now, at 31 years old, it’s pretty faded, but since I know where it is, I can still see it a bit.

49. What did you do today that made someone happy?

Well, I’ve mostly been home alone. But, I did make my foster kittens pretty happy by feeding them. :) And they make me pretty happy with their cuteness and cuddles.

[amphtaminedreams]

S/S 2020 Fashion Month: A Basic, Uneducated Fashion Heaux’s A-Z of Everything Noteworthy (Part 2/3)

Hi to anyone reading,

Back at it again with the giving my unsolicited opinion on 2020′s spring/summer offering, I’m gonna hop straight into part 2 of my fashion month review!

Sorry to start with an underwhelming few but my compulsive tendencies are making it really hard to break out of this alphabetical structure (cry laughs whilst thinking about how long it took me to face up at my retail job last night because it would give me vaguely homicidal urges and make my fingers tingle every time a customer moved something slightly out of line), so I’m gonna whizz through a handful of collections. First up, Halpern:

Not much to say but I’m envious of the heavy liner (my hooded eyes could never) and I like the colour scheme. As for the 80s style metallic pink dress?

Helmut Lang:

And Hermes:

Of these 3 collections, Hermes is definitely the most interesting. I like the colour scheme and the utilitarian shapes and the tan coloured jackets are an absolute shoot. This is how you make safari look fresh, D&G take note.

Isabel Marant was okay. It’s cute, sure, reminds me of something Mary-Kate and Ashley would’ve come out with/worn in the 2000s, and there’s definitely some things I would wear, but I wouldn’t say it looks all that luxury. Pricey, sure, but like, Free People pricey, not designer pricey. As a collection, it’s not all that conceptual, unless the concept is L.A girl does a Starbucks run after her bikram yoga class. What I will say though is that some of the S/S 2020 commercial trends are becoming clear: white cheesecloth pieces, peasant blouses, cowboy boots, scrappy sandals, neutral tones, and bandana print. 

Now onto the darling of high fashion Twitter: Jacquemus.

As far as presentation goes, this has to be one of my favourite set-ups of the season; a hot pink runway running through a lavender meadow is as canny and serene as those who sing the praises of Simon Porte Jacquemus would have you expect, and the clothes were easy, breezy and beautiful, even if there is an element of getting dressed in the dark going on with the styling which put me off including a few otherwise gorgeous pieces. It might not be 100% my style but you can tell this is a brand of the future which is only going to go from strength to strength.

And everything was beautifully and purposefully crafted on the runway with J.W Anderson this year. The pieces are graceful and timeless whilst still easy to envision as something a modern woman would throw on to (very fashionably) run some errands in the city. This was also one of the handful of shows (IIRC! This might be a case of extreme deja-vu!) where we saw the sandal straps tied over the trousers, I’m guessing to accentuate the ankles, and...I’m surprisingly here for it? Though in a sense it kinda resembles when I accidentally get my work trousers tucked into my slipper socks, it’s an interesting touch and adds a bit of a shape to otherwise billowing bottom halves.

Following Jacquemus’ lead (or vice versa, I’m way too deep into this fashion month haze to work out who went first at this point), Lacoste also put on a co-ed show. Otherwise crisp and preppy as per, the neckerchiefs (even if seeing them all next to one another does give off a bit of a Disneyland Main Street barbershop quartet vibe) and vinyl/wet-look/PVC/I’m still not sure what differentiates the 3 coats were an out of the box touch for them and I really liked it. It’s athleisure, but more like something Hayley Bieber would’ve worn as part of her Princess Diana inspired shoot than anything I’d wear to the gym.

LMAO, as if I go the gym. But you get my point. Next, Loewe:

Delicate, feminine and all around delightful, the S/S 2020 Loewe collection is up there with Chloe and Brock when it comes to most spring appropriate. More chiffon, lace and doily-like detailing, please, the old woman in me lives for this kinda thing made fashionable. Like with J.W Anderson, you can tell the design team wanted to do something different without just throwing shit onto their pieces for the sake of being wacky, and so we end up with these dramatic, slightly geometric waistlines and almost angelic Victorian nightgown inspired dresses that kinda make me wished that 1). ghosts existed and that 2). I lived back in that era so I could die some tragic death wearing any one of the dresses on the left in the top 3 rows and then haunt the shit out of everyone. That would really be an iconic fashion moment. Also wonderful, imo, was Louis Vuitton:

The mix between 60s and Edwardian I never knew I needed, as opposed to Gucci’s forward thinking take on the former decade, Louis Vuitton takes it back even further and throws in late 19th/early 20th century structures and references. I adore the what seems to be a mix between brocade and paisley print and the exaggerated collars are a very cute touch. The jacket on the top left is a highlight, a more neutral version of the similar catsuit seen at the Longchamp show (I couldn’t personally pick enough highlights from that to include it), and I now more than ever really want to try and pull off a sweater vest. The shoes might not be the most exciting thing ever but they’re also a personal favourite, from the knee high boots to the loafers with the LV moniker.

Maison Margiela was very cool and again, I’m in love with the shoes and just the accessories in general, ESPECIALLY those hats. I don’t know if I’m way off base here but this show is almost a modernised, fashionable version of a 1940s period drama about WW2 pilots and evacuees. Yes, maybe I am just getting that solely from the trench coats and the naval influences and the exaggerated collars but I think with that list I made quite a case for that perspective, right? Right.

And completing this holy trinity (appropriating the term I usually reserve for Emma Watson, Emma Stone and Emma Roberts is not without careful consideration) is Marc Jacobs. One of my ultimate favourites of this season, this collection is absolutely EVERYTHING: kitschy, dream-like, whimsical, over-the-top, and totally appropriate for your slightly eccentric aunt who always drinks too much wine and talks a lot of shit every time she comes over for dinner. I really feel like I walked into wonderland looking at this collection, and in the best way possible, it gives me a female Russell Brand in the 2000s’ wardrobe on crack. On the one hand we have these insanely beautiful and ethereal chiffon floral dresses but then we also have fricken top hats. Basically, it’s everything I love about fashion and I don’t know if anything can top it. Periodt (and I type that with a totally straight face). 

Next, onto another personal fave, Marchesa:

Which is as always, beautiful. I was going to write that if Disney princesses came to life and lived in the modern world (so, in other words, Elle Fanning), they would be wearing Marchesa and then I remembered that the film Enchanted exists and had a lightbulb moment and thought OH MY GOD IF THEY REMADE THAT IN 2019, THE DRESS ON THE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE ROW WOULD BE A PERFECT LEVELLING UP OF THE CURTAIN DRESS.

Anyways, favourites of the favourites are the bottom row; I would die for that feather trim. 

BUT where Marchesa is everything opulent, overly ornate and err-ing on “fussy”, Margaret Howell’s S/S 2020 collection is completely stripped back and just as effective, if not as to my taste. Very cool, very current, and altogether effortless (in a good way!), with this show Margaret Howell made mid-20th century utilitarianism relevant. I never thought I’d be praising the combination of bermuda shorts, crew socks and a beanie and yet here I am. Character development.

Next is Marine Serre:

Which I really like! The bottom row isn’t really to my personal taste but I can acknowledge that if I saw somebody wearing any one of those outfits I’d think they looked sick, and as for the first two rows, those mesh tops and the slightly chintzy florals are right up my alley.

Marques Almeida put out a really strong collection, imo. The blending of luxurious silhouettes and fabrics with street wear inspired prints and styling is a really interesting and unique contrast and if Billie Eilish ever decided to stop wearing those tweenie clothes and wanted to actually seduce somebody’s dad (I LOVE BILLIE EILISH AND I KNOW WHY SHE DRESSES THE WAY SHE DOES, IT’S A JOKE, PLS DON’T HATE ME), I’d love to see her wearing something like this. It’s a blend of punk, urban, and 2019 e-girl and has the kind of edge that Topshop has lost over the past couple of years that used to make it so aspirational to my 13 year old self. Of all the shows, it also probably has the most personally wearable accessories, and a shit tonne of cool make up looks I’d love to try if it weren’t for my lack of visible eyelid, lol.

Make up looks were a highlight of the Max Mara show too, for me anyway.

I otherwise wasn’t hugely keen on the collection, it being a little too matronly/Miss.Trunchbull-esque for my liking (wild card fashion inspiration of 2019, apparently?). The light paisley print dresses are very dreamy, though, and I can never resist a good suit. 

As for Michael Kors, dare I say it, but the basic bitch in me loved it. I know as a designer he’s not held in very high regard by the fashion community and I'm not saying it’s at all original but it did what it set out to do well; I mean, it’s quite fitting that he cameo-d in an episode of Gossip Girl because every outfit would be perfect for the Constance attending incarnation of Blair Waldorf, which is probably why I like the collection. Like yeah, it’s a bit of a Polo Ralph Lauren/Lacoste rip off but it’s daintier and more feminine and so I’m not gonna lie, I’m on board with it. 

Next, Miu Miu.

One of the collections I was most excited for, I was a little disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the collection, but I have never once disliked anything Miu Miu and I usually love it. There are things I love about this line too: the cream, floral lace-up boots, the off-the-shoulder cardigans, the houndstooth oversized coats and of course the fur-lined gilets. My mum used to buy me similar ones when I was a little girl and so they give me childhood nostalgia in the best way possible. I mean, the collection is as girly and eccentric as ever. I think it’s just a little too on the primary school librarian side for me, this time round. Sorry Miu Miu xoxo

Now I’m just gonna speed through a couple, starting with MM6 Maison Margiela, the younger sister to the more expensive regular Maison Margiela line:

And Monique Lhuillier:

So that I can get to one of my other ultimate favourite collections for S/S 2020: Moschino.

Oh my god, where to even start. Firstly, I might be reaching, but if this show is even remotely to thank for art nouveau mesh tops showing up in the Urban Outfitters new in section, then a very sarcastic thank you to Jeremy Scott. You just made ethical shopping a lot harder. HOW am I supposed to not buy an Alphonse Mucha top? HOW!? I mean, I’m sure I’ll manage (I’m on month 3 without a shopping spree I can’t actually afford now and yes, I am very much patting myself on the back), but HOW!?

But on a serious level, if renaissance was the print of 2019, which I’m still very much into BTW, bring on modern art as its 2020 replacement. The Pablo Picasso inspired show not only livened up a generally pretty predictable fashion month but it’s also got me searching up other times art has met fashion on the runway and thrown me down a particularly aesthetically pleasing wormhole I’m not sure I ever want to escape from (https://frontrowmagazine.ca/art-inspired-looks-were-all-over-the-runways-of-fashion-week-a74e8bc7ff0d and https://www.vogue.com/article/spring-2017-ready-to-wear-fine-arts-trends are good starting points!).

Mugler was also up there with the best of them, imo:

See, if the Moschino collection was all about dabbling in art class, Mugler’s S/S 2020 collection is its more mathematically inclined sister, all about sharp lines and deconstructed silhouettes and symmetry all whilst looking hot as fuck. So very Mugler, basically. 

Now, this reference might be slightly off because I haven’t actually SEEN Ex-Machina yet but I imagine if Kim Kardashian were to channel that movie for a costume party she’d end up wearing something from this collection. That sounds like a roast because Kim has worn some questionable outfits but I blame Kanye for most of that and I’m referring to her on a good fashion day, alright!?

As for Off-White, it’s obviously a lot more commercial than most of the lines I’ve reviewed so far. Like, I can see a lot of these outfits on a mannequin in Urban Outfitters (no, I am not being paid to namedrop them, about 3 people in total read this Tumblr so any kind of sponsorship money would be severely wasted on me). That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and I love all of these looks; it just seems unfair to compare them to the the Mugler or Moschino collections, for example. 

The stand outs for me are all on the bottom row: I would buy the utility vest, leather blazer and the all mesh turtleneck under washed-out tie-dye on the spot if I saw them in a high street store. Unfortunately, I feel like that’s kinda where they belong. You just expect collections to be a bit more conceptual, and this one is a little watered down, as much as it’s my style.

Oscar de la Renta was beautiful, of course. Not like I’m shook by how beautiful it is but kinda just what you’d expect from a brand with a name as poetic and fun to say as Oscar de la Renta. The silhouettes are dreamy and the details are as fit for a fairy princess (lmao) as ever. Plus can I just say how happy I am to see butterflies on dresses for adult women again!? And dresses worn by Blanca Padilla nonetheless!? Very here for it.

Next up is another on one of my fashion month highlights: Paco Rabanne.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT!

I mean, don’t get me wrong, something about this collection (I’m pretty sure it’s the knee high coloured socks) is giving me primary school teacher vibes, but I'm not mad about it. It’d be the kind of teacher who’s actually really good at their job and has loads of cool hobbies and a really hot boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband who you secretly want to be then you grow up/and or have a huge crush on. 

Like with Marc Jacobs, there’s obvious flower child elements here, and whilst on the whole the former took my breath away slightly more, this is a lot more wearable. My favourites are the paisley print dress and cape on the left in the very bottom row and all the chainmail pieces (which remind me of the dress Naomi Smalls wore in that whole club ninety-sixxxxx skit on drag race), plus that floral cut out dress with the trailing flute sleeves, which is absolute PERFECTION. 

The 70s influence was clear in Peter Pilotto’s S/S 2020 collection too from the abundance of tie-dye to the knit v-neck dress, zany colour and print being the very on-brand focus. That being said, this is definitely more of a street-style inspired collection than usual and whilst the floral suits and dresses on the 3rd row down are very typical Peter Pilotto, the tie-dye corset and combat trousers on the far right, second row from the bottom, are very Jaded London. As for the reoccurrence of the bucket hat, I’ve remained steadfastly against them for several years now (even when our Lord and Saviour Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty started wearing them) but the way they’re done in this collection even I could definitely get behind; all in all, the show surpassed my expectations.

The same goes for Ports 1961, which was a lot more eccentric than I gathered is the norm from a few google searches. Honestly, I hadn’t really heard of the brand which, upon reading up on it, I feel very dumb for considering it has been around since (in the shock twist of the century) 1961.

Yes, I know how that sounds! But forgive me, I’m still learning:)

Anyway, the fishnet detailing alone pretty much sold the looks I picked out. Seriously, I got a pair of those bloody tights, like, 2 years ago when they became a thing again and now any outfit where I have my legs out feels incomplete without them. 

Next is Prabal Gurung, which, as far as presentation goes, was fucking STUNNING:

I mean, you could say that I’m easily impressed and that the presence of the bouquets won me over (and you’d definitely have a point there), but it’s also this year’s Givenchy haute couture-esque feathers, the trailing pearl necklaces, the exaggerated shoulders, the dreamy colouring, the everything looking like it could’ve grown off a very fashionably-inclined tree. Like, there’s a lot to love here, from the naturalistic elements, to the context behind the show, an ode to American fashion history and those cast out of it (and the notion of “being American” in general) for so long. 

Going from a high to a (personal) low, however, next we have Prada:

I don’t know, I get that it’s supposed to be simple and stripped back and dignified and whatever and I like the looks I picked but it’s just a bit blah for me. The bonnets that kept cropping up just didn’t do it for me and almost ruined what is an otherwise nice skirt suit (top right). Nonetheless, I like the silhouette of the sheer black dress and the the brocade print suit is really luxurious looking, even if the pattern is a *little* Wetherspoons carpet. 

Anyways, here’s a quick overview of Rag and Bone:

So that I can stop moaning and get onto a collection I REALLY liked: 

I am of course talking about Ralph and Russo. See, this is kinda what I expected from, like, Chanel and yet it’s Ralph and Russo that delivered. Also, it gives me Alessandra Rich vibes which is very much a compliment considering how much I love her designs. I mean, if Valley of the Dolls were to get another film remake in 2019, this is exactly what I’d like to see the female leads wearing, from the pastel suits to the satin kaftan style dresses. The yellow feather trimmed dress is practically a copy of something Marchesa has already done but it’s cute all the same. In my top 10 collections of the season, for sure.

Rick Owens was another strong collection; it goes without saying that it’s not the most wearable but that’s not really what Rick Owens is known for, so I wouldn’t expect anything else. If you want fashion on an alien planet, or something Lady Gaga would’ve worn in 2010, he's your man.

Next, Rodarte:

Obviously the dresses are beautiful and the set is magnificent, BUT...I’m really not a fan of the whole celebrities filling in for high fashion models thing. I like Lili Reinhart and I adore Kirsten Dunst, she’s been in a load of my favourite films, but in a similar vein to Dolce and Gabbana’s influencer show, it’s just distracting from the actual garments, if even worse because I don’t WANT to be distracted here (the same can’t be said for the D&G show, lol).  If anybody has read this far, let me know your thoughts! 

Roland Mouret was nice, and I always like a coed show, especially when a designer isn’t afraid to blur the lines of masculine and feminine. It’s fresh, lightweight and luxurious looking, Cannes film festival street style eat your heart out, and I love the colour palette.

Similarly, colour was my favourite thing about Sally LaPointe’s S/S 2020 collection. 

I would never think that teal and burnt orange would work together, let alone in some kind of faux leather, and yet here we are. Orange is in itself always an interesting colour choice, perfect for the summer with a tan, and I really love monochrome outfits, even though they’re something that ends up being quite pricey to put together; slight differences in tone are okay but if you just randomly throw together a few things and they’re too off, it really doesn’t work and you’d have been better off wearing contrasting colours. For that reason, I’m just gonna admire that all-pink outfit from a distance. 

As for Schiaparelli, it’s one I always look forwards to for the sheer weirdness. RTW isn’t quite as kooky as haute couture but still, the interesting choices are still there; what at first glance appears to be flame print is actually coils of hair, and paired with a water print suit is a sequinned jacket emblazoned with a paradisiacal mirage. Ornament-like facial decorations as seen in the over-exaggerated glasses worn with the pony hair suit are also one of my favourite new things to happen in the high fashion scene in the past couple of months and I can’t wait to see how they get watered down to become more approachable for us...regular, non-structurally blessed folks who can’t pull off anything and everything.

Simone Rocha was STUNNING. Romantic and ethereal, it’s druid goddess crossed with upper class Victorian woman of leisure, equal parts delicate and grungy, like a modern, fashion version of Lady Gaga’s Scathach in the Roanoke season of American Horror Story. You know, in the flashbacks, not in present day when she was all gross and like...scalping people and shit. Each dress is so ornate and has such an interesting structure, and the fabric choices give off an organic kinda vibe that create a handmade feel; the collection is, imo, really worthy of being shown under a haute couture heading. When it comes to my favourite element of the show, I’m torn between the petticoats and the hair accessories. I’m just gonna give a cop-out answer and say both. 

Stella McCartney on the other hand, is very much a clear ready-to-wear collection. 

It’s pretty, for sure. The pastel blazers paired with delicate white mesh tops underneath are a gorgeous combination for spring and I like the reoccurrence of the chain glasses (Gucci, right?). But I mean, when you go from Simone Rocha to this, it’s a bit anticlimactic. Plus, if I’m honest, kaftans are always going to remind me of Honey Mahogany from season 5 of Drag Race. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she’s a lovely person but her runway looks aren’t really ones I look back fondly on, and you’re lying if you say you enjoyed them for anything other than meme purposes.

Temperley is equally meh, though the return of the Erdem-style boating hats is getting me excited that high street retailers might actually pick up on the trend and bring out some cheap ones for me to embarrass myself by wearing. 

I also love a good 70s suit, the neckerchiefs are cute and there are some really delightful prints here that are a more unique approach to florals for spring.

Coming towards the end now, next is Thom Browne:

I LOVE this. Like, don’t get me wrong Rick Owens was cool but I adore how on the nose the concept is here; time to bring back all the Marie Antoinette puns I didn’t get to use in my Versailles Instagram post. I don’t know if it’s the history buff in me or the Sofia Coppola Stan but I will always be willing to sign any kind of treaty for anything related to the excesses of the 18th century French monarchy, and this is that turned up to 1000 infused with a dash of the Teletubbies, which sounds like a nightmarish concept, I know, but as high fashion it WORKS.

Tory Burch was very commercial, seemingly half inspired by Monterey yoga moms and the other half by Hamptons socialites. 

And then there was Valentino, which was fucking exquisite, imo. LIKE, CALLING DOCLE & GABBANA: THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE TROPICAL PRINT INTERESTING. YOU MAKE THE VELVET MONKEY’S ARM THE FRICKEN WAISTBAND. 

Seriously, though, I am enamoured with this colour palette; all the whites and golds are angelic and fr, I didn’t know until now that you could make neons this elegant. I’m also getting an almost clerical feel from a lot of these looks, with the plaited waistband on the black dress that’s 7th row down in the middle, the stunning red cape and the multitude of exaggerated neck ruffs. I think I’ve mentioned before but I always love religious references in clothing-I don’t think I’ll ever get over the 2018 Met Gala-and so whether I’m reading too much into it or not, this collection really did it for me.

Whilst it’s probably as far removed a collection from Valentino’s S/S 2020 contribution you can get, I also loved Vera Wang this season. It might purely (I PROMISE THIS IS MY LAST GOSSIP GIRL REFERENCE) be because it gives me Jenny Humphrey vibes and *controversial* she did have my favourite style of any of the main characters, but sue me, this is just the right amount of late 90s/early 2000s grunge. Deconstructed trashy goth it girl is an interesting concept to see on the runway and I completely support it. 

Versace on the other hand was very hit or miss. The looks I picked out I really loved but ultimately, for one of the household name brands, a lot of the actual garments were a bit pedestrian. I will say though that for me, it’s a case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. The slicked back mermaid hair and the pops of colour in the makeup and the interesting necklines meant that when it was good, it was GOOD. However, overall, still a bit too 80s Miami businesswoman, and please GOD, can we leave that hideous J-Lo dress in the past, it should really not be the climax of the show in 20-fucking-19!

As for Victoria Beckham, I liked it, but it’s a bit of a Gucci copy, no? And no way near as interesting?

And on that note, I’m gonna have to cut this off. Super annoying but with only 5 collections left that I want to talk about, Tumblr is being a little bitch and will not let me add anything more to this post. So, see you in 5 for the final post!

Lauren x

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

99 Question Tag

@your-basket-case tagged me - thank you so much dear!!! I'm a giant sucker for tag games, so here. WE. GO.

1.DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

Actually it's always half open because I need that air to circulate hah!

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?

Only if I like the smell.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

Tucked in! How can you sleep with sheets tucked out omg?

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?

I WISH

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT-NOTES?

Hm not really. I usually keep a big notebook/notepad on my desk and I fill it with things to remember, drafts, etc

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?

We don't have as a big coupon culture here in Italy as it happens to be in America but sometimes I do!

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?

Bear.

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?

No but I wish I had them!

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?

For selfies yes, for other pictures not so much.

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

I have to many, honestly, but I guess Cancelled Culture and psycho stans are the biggest at the moment.

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?

Maybe.

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?

Yes. Traumatising experience.

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?

You insane? I'm too scared of pooping in the woods.

14. I think I deleted this question on accident.

Lost in time and spaaace!

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?

Chewing pens and pencils? In this economy?

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

3 with my imaginary lover.

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?

I think it's an European King sized but I'm not 100% sure. I WANT THE CEASAR ONE.

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?

Hm, I'm still losing my mind over "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier but I just discovered the new James Blake's album and that, as a whole, is a big mood for this week as well.

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?

Bitch yes?

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?

Sometimes.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?

Hm, nothing comes to my mind at the moment.

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?

I can't tell you. It wouldn't be hidden anymore although:

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?

Diet coke or water because I'm too broke for wine.

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?

Nothing. I die like men.

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

Sushi, pizza, pierogi, carbonara, tomato & corn salad, fried mozzarella, tiramisù.

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?

Stardust, Dead Poets Society, Mean Girls, Little Miss Sunshine

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?

A guy that broke my heart last year.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?

Yes!

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?

If I wasn't an ugly potato... yes.

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?

2 years ago, I think.

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?

Who do you think I am? A redneck?

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?

No.

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?

Rye bread + thin spread of cream cheese + lettuce + thin slices of chicken or smoked ham + tomatoes + red onion + pickled artichoke

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?

Granola. Dry. Straight from your hand as if you're a starving horse in disguise.

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?

00:00-01:00AM

37. ARE YOU LAZY?

I'm not lazy. I procrastinate.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?

Back in time Halloween wasn't a thing in Poland, so unfortunately I didn't dress up.

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?

I'M A HORSE.

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?

3: Italian, Polish and English

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?

Nein, but I'd like to get Wired subscription.

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?

What are even Lincoln Logs... Did Lincoln harvest the logs himself, though?

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?

Yes and no. Depends on the situation.

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?

My tit.

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?

Not anymore.

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?

Not really. But if I find myself on the edge of something high without a fence, I'll probably panic and casually fall down.

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?

Do I sing? No. I PERFORM.

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

Only when I'm home alone.

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?

Yeah, sometimes when the inspiration and the right bop kick in.

50. EVER USED A GUN?

A glue gun.

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?

Does the mugshot for the drivers licence count?

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?

Depends.

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?

The concept by itself isn't stressful. My family tends to ruin it with the overdramatic stress.

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?

BITCH THAT'S MY MOTHERLAND'S MEAL WE SNIFF THAT SHIT LIKE COCAINE.

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?

Apple, rhubarb, pear.

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

Doctor, fashion designer, archeologist, paleonthologist...

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Yes. I've had paranormal experiences and I'm still not over it.

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?

Very often.

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

No. I die like men.

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

Yes!

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?

I don't have any but I would like to wear one of those super cozy and soft ones!

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?

Hmm, depends. Now I'm wearing a hoodie, leggings and socks because it's cold as fuck.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?

I'm pretty sure it was DeMono, a Polish band. I casually saw them with my parents when we were on holiday back in 1997.

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?

I'M NOT AMERICAN BITCH. TESCO.

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?

Both actually!

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?

What the fuck are FRITOS? I've never tried them, so I can't answer lol!

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?

BOTH. I'm a sucker for NUTS.

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?

Of what now? Is this another American thing I'm not aware of because of my ancient and unbothered European nature?

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?

Nein!

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?

I don't care, really. I do care about them doing what they love and want to do. If they'll be happy about it, so will I :')

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?

Sí, señor!

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

We don't have this in Europe asdfkgkf

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

Kind of.

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?

I have regular cd's but I would love to start a vinyl record collection.

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?

Not yet!

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?

I used to but I don't do that anymore.

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

Yes but nobody loved me back.

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?

QUEEN. On the more possible side: Andrea Boccelli, The Struts, George Ezra, MORE HOZIER, The Killers, Arctic Monkeys... The list goes on!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?

HOZIER. It was a magical experience, I love him so much, I want to cry 😭♥️

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?

Both.

81. TEA OR COFFEE?

Tea.

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?

Both.

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?

Avarage just so I don't die sucked into the abyss.

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?

Wait, people CAN'T do that? What dysfunction do you have? It's literally so easy?

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?

Yes, very much but in the last couple of years I've started slowly losing my shit in certain situations.

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?

Band.

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?

No. I'm an avarage bitch that thinks she's more than that but the truth is that I'm not a winner.

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?

Does the surgery on my toe count?

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?

BLACK

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?

Not yet but I will learn at some point!

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?

Living room.

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

If I meet the love of my life then yes. The bar is too high, though, so I'm not sure if that's gonna happen haha!

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

/

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?

His name was William and that was the most embarrassing moment of my life because a bitch that considered herself as my "friend" told everybody that I had a crush on him. When he got to know it, he basically humiliated me in front of the entire clique, if not the whole school. I hate him ever since and it's been already 10 years or so.

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?

No.

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

My dog is my son.

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?

Kids? In this economy? On this planet? Just for my liking? Absolutely fucking not. That would be a crime and absolute torture for them and I don't want them to suffer as I do.

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

Black, emerald green, gold, yellow, purple.

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?

Freddie Mercury.

I tag: @santonicababy, @chaotic-pansexual, @songparade, @fossa-poplitea and everybody else who wants to do this! :’D

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s4ep4 “The Demon's Head” Personal Review 

“I hope that satisfies your curiosity” Warning spoilers below  

Not quite back to the old format but I´m not sure if that´s a good or bad thing anyway.

The “What is so important about this knife?!” club, founded by Barbara Kean gets two honourably members, Bruce Wayne and Jim Gordon. Ra´s al Ghul still refuses to reveal more than vague ideas and stories.

 * I like Alex Winthrop, I want(ed) to be Alex, I´m jealous, beyond jealous and full of regret * they really got the switch in tone from boy just talking to boy remembering other “boy” in the room is Bruce Wayne really nice * NILES WINTHROP: “My boy people believe in these stories, they kill for them” Stories and ideas still the most dangerous thing in history since the dawn of mankind!  * That what is it a saber tooth tiger? skeleton gives me Hannibal Randall Tier flashbacks  * “The best liar I ever met ran a brothel in Shanghai. Her quite considerable gift was that you knew she was lying but didn´t care, you so badly wanted to believe her” No my dear Ra's al Ghul the best liar you ever met was a plain and simple tailor.  

 * “Knocking Victor, we discussed this.” WHEN, WHY, did you discuss this, WHAT happened that you had to discuss this ?! I need to know. Oswald .. spill the beans.

* SOFIA FALCONE claims to be only here to support the charities. Concerns from OSWALD COBBLEPOT are unfounded, she says. VICTOR ZSASZ is leaning the background and distracting me tremendously, the blue suits him. Victor´s “I´mma stab you” sound so lovely, the threat goes totally over my head.  Glad Oswald´s paranoia is confirming my headcanon about the families lying doormat. Sofia is so good, I´m starting to love her. She´s aiming for harmless. It reminds me so much of early Oswald.   

* Some families loyal to Falcone show up at SOFIA FALCONE´s place wanting back old times and their beloved Carmine. She claims to want them gone for their own good, too late. Oswald makes her listen to them being shot. She served them to penguin on an ice cold plate. That was so calculated wasn´t it. “You used me” Sofia lets OSWALD COBBLEPOT believe that he is calling the shots. He seems to buy it. “You´re alive aren’t you” “I would plant roses; they will cover up the smell”  Sofia criticizes Oswald´s methods: “My father wouldn´t have ..”   “My father knew how to build on the strength of others ..”  Send a message that the old order supports him then the now dead men would have pledged him loyalty.  She is weaseling herself into his empire presenting herself as useful. This is “golden goose” part two! Oswald acts like he doesn´t care  “New Times, new methods” but I´m sure this will be going through his mind. He took so much from his old mentors, he knows that himself, he´s even mentioned it this episode.

 * Later: SOFIA FALCONE talking to JIM GORDON pushes emotion buttons again: Recalling her father Carmine Falcone stabbing a man begging for his life just to see everything back to normal as if nothing had happened the next day. One would think she should turn her back on Gotham but nope. “This house, this city is in my veins, I´m home Jim.” Is she mirroring the blood rhetoric from Jim in 4x03? “It´s in my blood” were Jim´s words  “The city is my birth right” was her phrasing, both refer to a birth right in some way but there was more legal/law rhetoric in it.   Jim asks about the missing/dead men. Since when is Jim eager to investigate the murder of criminals. Sofia tells him about Penguin using her as bait and Jim is “And you let him” yeaah right? He´s not taking her seriously previously but now she should have things neat and tidy.  Sofia calls him out that Jim´s coming for help from Carmine would never have been bloodless. Was that her plan, Jim asks, get close to penguin gain his confidence. He needs to know what she is going to do. No he doesn’t! (Makes me think of Jim just being more open to Barbara Kean in S1 would have prevented some stuff and things as well.) Sofia is gonna get the city back from penguin, that´s what Jim wants she´s gonna give him that but he has to trust her! Jim grabs her arm, smashes the glass and kisses her. It´s like in the old movies. They make out on the couch. Damn. But I´m only and only accepting the whole thing if this is actually this time Jim using his sexuality as a weapon. Let this be Jim being the feme fatale seducing someone to gain leverage over them. Please. (Also with all the Sofia & Oswald parallels this (even if just plain actual love or lust) is so good.) 

* JIM GORDON looks so out of place in BARBARA KEAN´s weapon shop I love it. Seeing the spiked punk hair next along to the pristine blue velvet (?) sofas is wonderful. No one so far has been sitting on them right? The guys in the room drink from glasses and a wine bottle. Makes me think of if Barbara confiscated all the beer cans before they entered the place (doesn’t fit the aesthetic) and made them clean their combat boots. Jefferson Airplane “White Rabbit” always gets me. Barbara with the playing cards picks up the Alice in Wonderland theme. Her hair looks nice again. * “You like this me better?”  Barbara is still picking up there history but Jim isn´t even acknowledging it. Despite her new chill attitude it seems those things still matter to her? * RA´S and Barbara´s interaction are still oddly respectful, I wanna know more.

* The upside down EDWARD NYGMA cut was lovely, and I can relate writing is a struggle and you need knifes for it * I regret watching the preview, I think the sudden rap would have had more impact not knowing about it in advance. * “Well that´s exactly what you would say” Victor Zsasz just want´s to torture people he´s ready to find any reason for it. * The riddled invitations are all in vain Edward bursts into the Iceberg Lounge. There is some banter with OSWALD COBBLEPOT who then recognizes Ed is not quite himself. * “Six hours for two bad riddles does that sound like anything like the old you” “Revenge will make me feel better” “You wont have revenge on me” “Yeah I will” “No you won´t” “Only HE can get revenge on me”  This is prime Season 1 Oswald, bargaining for his life with eloquence and wits. He´s talked himself out of being killed, again. This would totally have worked without the reinforcement as well. * Edward gives in, okay freeze me, he says what Oswald´s surely please to here “I´m not the Riddler”. It saves him. “I would only freeze Ed Nygma, who cares about that. Better revenge is having you live, knowing that you are not him, and you never will be again.” I´m crying.  Also, I get the rhetoric’s but that´s just sentiment there. Oswald stabbed people for less, granted he´s had more time to think about things in that scenario but even in not so impulsive situations he´s never been Mr. Sadistic. He´s wallowed in having the upper hand (and consequently someone else suffering because of that) but he´s not into torture he´s not into that prolonged dragged out element of this, if someone suffers from his hand it´s more a straight line thing, clearer and done when done. His cruelty has function, often a message (Feeding Grace her children, the corpses in Sofia´s garden,) but he´s not wallowing in the cruelty per se. (Or am I forgetting something?)  

* What are the flowers in place of the Ice Sculpture. The pink suits the Iceberg Lounge but I need to know if those flowers go a particular meaning. * “Who am I”  Ed is back to the old question.

 * BRUCE WAYNE feels responsible for the Winthrop murder.  Well he should have thought about that earlier. If Alfred indeed advised him not to let the man have the knife overnight Alfred has some serious wisdom points over Bruce this week. I don´t really get why Bruce would be so reckless anyway. It was risky in terms of losing the knife and also in terms of risking other person´s well being. What got into him? Plot convenience?  * “Fear is normal” Poor ALEX WINTHROP. He´s a muffin. There´d be so many characters who would be mad at Bruce even if he truly actually didn´t have a clue about the knife. I find it a bit odd that they would trust each other that quickly and have such a conversation but I´m not questioning it cause it´s just too much of a beautiful scene. “Weirdly cool” 

* They both flee from some hunter and ANUBIS that Ra´s sent after the knife. What´s Egyptian mythology got to do with all this? How does he know how to track down the knife? Wouldn´t he like needed to have smelled it to recognize it? Has he, how old is he? Has he been killed with the knife and brought back to have a connection of what? Just in general what?! * Old me, good me, on track me would be so stressed out by all the mess with the books. * Also later:  Playing fetch with the bone. Are you serious ?! :D * “Hiding it in plain sight” Did I say I love Alex. I never know why people put the stuff in the most secure place. Put it in your hopelessly messy dresser. Let them dig though old and new socks, no pair matching not knowing if they are going to find anything there or somewhere starched between old documents and files, or maybe in an emptied shampoo bottle among (yeah I know the particular knife isn´t going to fit but you get the idea) lotions, soaps and things.   “The man that killed him, he can´t have this.” Could I love him more. Thinking about his Grandfathers words and them maybe being true he takes responsibility, he´s considerate. He´s not dropping it like hot coals that burnt his hand, he´s looking at his injuries wanting them to have some meaning. This guy killed his grandfather that´s reason enough for not doing him any favours of any way.  Alex is so dead, he´s so going to die, right?!

* JIM GORDON got his detective skills back this week. He´s easily deducting Alex´s escape, taking aid in Bruce, and that little story face off with RA´S AL GHUL was just lovely to watch: The boy is hunted because of the knife or because the killer thinks he saw something > Did he? > No. > Phew, well then he is safe.  I´d love to have seen them talk more, but yeah I get it it´s not Garak and Bashir. * ALFRED PENNYWOTH interrupts and promptly punches Ra´s. “Where the bloody hell is Gordon”  “He´s bloody vanished”   Jim is trying to get him stop the riot  “I need you to calm down”. This is a nice contrast to the recent just “set the butler loose” he´ll hurt people but things will be alright. Jim being the one recognizing sudden action and violence might not be the best thing long term is a nice change and it gives me tiny flash backs to the Jim Gordon from S1 who calmed down and defused dangerous situation.

 * BIG THING this week is people not telling Jim stuff. Bruce is not confiding in him until he is persuaded. Sofia is not letting Jim in on her plans, I hope she´ll stay clever and continue that. There is a big confrontation between Jim and Alfred about this. “You do not get to lecture me on a lack of honesty and openness” Alfred and Bruce were up to something for weeks. For once Jim is kind of right in his righteous rage. Alfred, as his guardian can violate privacy if for the sake of safety, Jim claims. Alfred is not having it. “Stick to the point” Having Pennyworth stay back and possibly arrested is petty and not a good call though. It will teach him a lesson is something for bickering lovers not people trying to safe someone. Alfred even picks that dispute up again later when Jim is trying to comfort Bruce and reason he needs to be talked to to be helpful “Ra´s is a psychopath, you are not responsible for his action. I wanna help but everything you´ve said so far ..  give me something I can believe.”  “Perhaps now you understand why we held back.”  Alfred jabs. I hope they get over the pettiness and will work together..

* “You don´t understand he, killed Alfred and then brought him back” Is this the week where they have the BRUCE WAYNE & JIM GORDON parallels reversed?  Usually it´s Bruce Wayne caring first and foremost about saving and protecting the lives of others (”even” if it´s the life of a thief 4x03) now he hesitates to hand over the knife in exchange for Alex´s life. Usually it´s Jim Gordon who risks the well being of others and steps over corpses for the sake of the mission and the grand picture.  Moreover did he really say “he” killed Alfred? While I would absolutely agree that all blame for this solely is to be put on Ra´s and Bruce is the victim in this. I find myself surprised that Bruce would say it that way. So far we´ve seen him feel responsible for what he did under Ra´s influence. I took him as someone who would not want to forget this, a cautionary detail to avoid similar things in the future. Seeing and putting the blame on someone else without keeping an eye on one´s own responsibility in the scenario (subjectively or objectively) is something Jim does. Bruce takes responsibility for his actions, he faces his mistakes. Yet this week he claims to have been unknowing about the dangers of the knife, (Don´t get me wrong in this situation it probably was the better and much more helpful option.) and he keeps risking more Winthrop lives.

* RA´S AL GUHL obviously is pleased with Bruce´s actions.  “Well done Bruce, you finally begin to see things clearly. The question is are you strong enough?”  

* After ALEX got killed (I knew it but argh) Bruce is back to. “This is all my fault” Despite Jim Gordon trying to tell him otherwise he´s confirming:  It doesn´t matter what you say, it´s all my fault, I killed him. Yep sounds more like the Bruce we know. The little trip into Jim Gordon ways did not agree with him.  I wonder what Ra´s would say to this. Probably that he isn´t strong enough. But I´d say admitting and recognizing such a thing needs strength.  Back to the parallel we´ve had Lee and others blame Jim for all the misery around him, while I have to disagree with quite some cases we haven´t seen Jim owning up to it or seriously second guessing his deed. We´ve only got clues that he´s quite miserable at times but he´s never set down being like yep you´re right that was wrong. Bruce´s gonna do that and keep doing that I assume ?

* “Sure but, how do you spell .. “  I feel called out I still look up how to spell Ra's al Ghul.  That and Oswald twice not being in the spot where Edward was waiting for him is adding so much “realism”. Cause that´s exactly how all those great plans would play out if it weren´t the movies.  “Honestly that could be anything” Oswald calls it about the riddles.  I also really loved the so absolutely done he can´t even properly handle his glass nor keep his hands out of is face attitude. There´s so much “I feel this”. Same with the petty bickering in between Oswald and Ed (you´re not smart, yeah well maybe because you froze me, I get revenge, no you wont, yes , no) and Jim and Alfred. There´s still been great statements in there but also some kind of spotonness . If it´s BenMckenzie solely responsible for this: Bless you.

* That tiny penguin pin on Oswald´s suit! * “My other Victor”  “Not you, the other Victor”  Mr. “the other” Victor Freeze. <3

[40countdown]

This is it! The Final Episode! The Last Installment! The Swan Song of the Blog! I’m 40 as hell already! (01-14-18)

Original Goals 

Looking back at the goals I laid out in the first post for this blog… I didn’t do bad.

Body Goals:

My weight is where is should be.. Weigh in 158.5  

The 2 inches off the waist didn’t happen. Ha! The waist is as trashy as it was but probably no worse.. since I never measured with tape I have to judge based on which pants I can or can not button and how uncomfortable it is to put a sock on.. which still tends to fluctuate after a few good or bad weeks.. but I’d say I’m right about where I started.

(this is from today at the gym when I registered for a thing... :D) 

The elbow miraculously healed.. the pain is gone but last week I noticed it was radiating heat like a nuclear reactor so.. I might wanna get it checked out.. or maybe I just have a hot laser in my elbow from the spider bite. #superpowers

We all know that I pissed away any chance of being “11 months smoke free” a long time ago, but I recommitted to ruining that goal this past week during vacation/birthday celebrations when I torched 2 full packs of Marlboro Reds. I really do think the 2 Tough Mudders I’ve signed up for will help keep me from reaching for the reds in my weaker moments.

Blood pressure has not been checked but I’d be surprised if it’s great after the birthday week vacation I’ve had of all night bars and all day food closing out with a delicious “brisket burnt ends” sandwich from The Joint.

Career Goals:

Documentary is not finished, but it is much closer and I’m more fired up about it than ever! This one is gonna hit like a Bruce Lee kick, y’all. I aim to complete and submit to festivals by the end of March and that is still absolutely manageable with my much lighter spring semester schedule.

Longer term job offer.. I got that since I got the full time job offer this past August which I’ve accepted. I also did get accepted to an MFA Screenwriting program, but I declined to go in favor of the job and the chance to actually finish the film.

Feature film script.. I know exactly what I want to write next but.. that goal seems insanely over ambitious looking back.. I definitely assumed everything would go much faster with the doc than it did, but.. I’ll say now that by this time next year I fully expect to have achieved that goal. Can’t wait to write again!

Heart/Mind Goals:

I aimed at 7000 minutes and 20mins/day average.. The phone won’t tell me how many minutes unless I sit and add up each day.. but it does say 21 mins/day avg for the year, which is crazy! I touched on what I feel like I get out of meditation a few times earlier so I won’t yammer on rewording the same thoughts, but it feels good to know I’ve been able to take a small step in the direction I think is good for me. I want to do much longer sits this year.

Elliptical/Sauna.. 

I’m sure I also averaged 20/mins in the sauna for the year but the elliptical I walked away from in favor of shorter runs on the treadmill so.. I sorta traded that and my phone doesn’t track the treadmill so.. you’ll have to take my word that I feel I probably did also get that average. I was in the gym a LOT this year. Ha!

Fed My Head:

I aimed at 12 audiobooks and I did 17. I would love to do even more but editing requires the focus of all the faculties I possess.

I certainly however did not “read more than 10 books.” I read chunks of a lot of books mostly relating to preparing film syllabi and keeping my head in the film problem solving space. But I just finished of Year of Magical Thinking, given to me by my dad after my friend Palma died. It’s a tough read b/c of what the author went through, and not at all what I expected from the title, but I would recommend it for anyone who cares about people :)  

A Very Special THANK YOU to Scott McCarthy 

Owner of Balance Strength and Fitness Center www.balancefitnesstraining.com

Scott voluntarily gave me a 4 day workout routine. He tailored it to my situation, a slowly healing elbow and someone who can’t spend 3 hours in the gym everyday.. and while my food and beer habits probably prevented me from losing the belly flab, I definitely gained noticeable muscle in my arms, chest and legs. So, I’m certainly stronger than I’ve ever been and in a pretty well rounded way. Without Scott’s workout plan I’m sure that I would’ve waffled from one thing to the next w/o seeing any results, but with it, I had just the right amount of workout 4 days a week and I was able to push myself each time I walked into the gym. And it was great to know that I had a map from someone who looks like the Incredible Hulk and has been training people for 20 years. He just moved into a new place and upgraded the gym that he owns. He also knows a ton about nutrition and will happily call bullshit on a lot of fads that come through, but he’ll tell you exactly why it’s bullshit. Much Respect! Scott! I owe you some video work, brother! Let’s coordinate and we’ll put some cool spots together for the gym. If you (dear reader) are in the Delaware area and want to get real about training stop reading this and drive directly to his gym… unless it’s really late. Then just go FIRST THING TOMORROW!

Final Thoughts..

I want to thank every single person who read this thing even once and especially those of you who shot me a little word of encouragement or a book suggestion along the way privately or publicly. I truly do believe as an experiment it was successful even if all the goals weren’t met b/c I did have the idea of being held accountable for my actions in mind probably more than you’d imagine. And while it didn’t keep every cheeseburger or cigarette out of my face, it did get me to meditate on weeks where I might not have at all. And the fact that I mediated a few times or ate healthier a few times to be able to report that I had done so doesn’t make me feel like I’m somehow a fake. I was as honest as I could be about everything I did and in the case of food, exercise and mediation in service of the audience.. I still get the benefit of each thing even if it isn’t coming from some pure unpolluted source of willpower. I think there’s a bit of horseshit in most ideas that swirl around purity anyway, so.. I’m good with using the blog in the way that I did.

I’m also glad to be done. Ha! I’m happy that I stuck with it for the full year, but.. I’m looking forward to returning to keeping my shameful failures quiet like everyone else online. When I get time I will probably go back and read through the entire year and there’s a chance I might gain some personal insights from that, so I look forward to doing that. And after a borderline belligerent 10 days in New Orleans to celebrate the fact that I’m still standing at 40, I’m also looking forward to getting back to regular exercise (which I did none of in Nola even tho I brought the running shoes :D) as well as returning to eating more like an athlete in training than an idiot with a death wish. I did yoga Thursday and got back in the gym for the first full workout of the new year today - one week after getting back from vacation.

Goals for 2019:

Heart/Mind

Some kind of dinner with people once or twice a month Keep a daily food and exercise journal Mediate 30mins/day Listen to 20 Books Read 5 Books

Career

Get the film sold at a festival Finish a feature screenplay and get lead cast attached  

Body

Zero Cigarettes Lose most of the belly flab - I just signed up for an 8 week fitness challenge at my gym :) Maintain Gym routine (4-6 days/week weights, 2-3 mile runs 1-2 days/week) Keep doing yoga once a week Keep an eye on Blood Pressure

Food

Take probiotic stomach supplements for a year.  Beef no more than once a week (taper down to once a month by end of year) Quit fast food. AKA - quit being gross, AKA quit using my organs as an industrial sludge filter    

Eat more good for your gut stuff in general (straight copying my cousin on his cabbage soup/quinoa moves)  

Booze

Alcohol limited to dinner with friends and 1 glass of wine with dinner (I did this wine w/ dinner thing for a stretch of time in the past. It worked and I like it). Not drinking makes it a lot easier to quit smoking as well - I once quit both for 9 months.. I did the one glass of wine/night all last week. It worked. And I’m cutting beer completely for the next 8 weeks so as to get fucking shredded to maximum and win $750 from this god damn fitness challenge.

I think a big part of why some people find it hard to finish writing books.. or anything is b/c they don’t feel like the end is good enough.. and maybe this end is lacking. I put off writing it for a couple weeks b/c I wanted to make it special in some way.. I wanted it to feel like an amazing ending.. but done is better than perfect and I am now done. I love y’all! I really do! Thanks for all the support!

And remember.. “when things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. ‘Cause if you lose your head and you give up.. then you neither live nor win. That’s just the way it is.” - (fictional character) Josey Wales  

Get Mean in 2019 ;)

[calorieworkouts]

Situations That Sabotage Your Weight Loss

1

Your Family - Just how Your Family members Can Undermine Your Effective weight loss

Every couple of months, my spouse announces his intention to drop weight. I made use of to roll my eyes, figuring he would become a health and wellness nut for a week prior to providing up. He directed this bent on me as well as I understood that I wasn't doing him any type of favors by not taking him seriously. As a matter of fact, by not supporting him, I was hurting his possibilities for success.

You might have experienced something similar. Sometimes it's subtle--- an eye-roll or a sarcastic comment. In some cases it's more damaging, creating a setting that runs counter to what you're aiming to accomplish.

Some signs of sabotage:

Your partner brings house a seven-layer delicious chocolate covered to commemorate your 10-pound weight loss

Your other half giggles when you tell her you're going on a diet and spokens, "You? Stick with a diet? Excellent one!"

Your companion, recognizing you're on a diet regimen, takes you to a restaurant that only serves deep-fried cheese and beer

Your mother-in-law frowns when you refuse her homemade sauce, stating, "My other son-in-law loves my gravy.”

Your mommy hands you a plate of lasanga and also claims, "You're as well slim as well as I spent hours making this just for you."

Most member of the family may not realize they're sabotaging you. They may feel intimidated by a thinner you or fretted that your new diet regimen as well as exercise routines could disrupt a life they fit with.

Stop the Sabotage

Communication. Speaking with your partner, the same way my husband chatted to me, might suffice making her knowledgeable about just what she's doing.

Ask for support. People will often react far better to a request for aid rather than an attack.

Use your strength. If you can't obtain assistance, make use of your very own strength to keep entering spite of it. Keep a food as well as workout journal and advise yourself of your goals. In the end, you're in charge of your very own options. People can make those choices harder for you, yet they cannot make them for you.

2

Your Pals - How Your Pals Can Sabotage Your Effective weight loss

Have you ever had that friend that evaluates your meal at a restaurant, cocks a brow as well as spokens, "Are you sure you want to eat

that

?" We've all well-known people like that, yet these people can also finish up sabotaging your fat burning. Simply like member of the family, buddies could often feel intimidated by your weight loss, terrified that you'll look better or that you'll carry on to a different circle of close friends. They may even feel jealous that you're transforming your life as well as moving on while they're standing still.

Some things a screwing up friend might spoken or do:

"Boy, I feel fat today. Do I look fat?" The trouble? She's thinner compared to a toothpick while you're numerous pounds overweight.

You're at a restaurant and also your good friend goes into a juicy burger, spokening, "I don’t know how you could consume that salad. I would certainly merely die if I needed to eat that all the time."

You reference you're signing up with a health club and also your pal says, "I listened to that workout could really make you fat. Oh, you haven't heard that? Well, I make certain it will not occur to you."

You go to a bar and also mention you're on the wagon to slim down. Your good friend yells, "A round of tequila shots, bartender! Hey, simply one beverage won't hurt, right?"

You're en route to the gym and also your buddy calls with an unexpected emergency. You miss your workout to aid, only to discover her 'emergency' was not wanting to watch American Idol by herself.

Stop the Sabotage

Have a heart-to-heart. Like your household, your friend could unknown just what he's doing. Informing him that you require his assistance to drop weight may make him much more supportive.

Distance yourself. If your friend does not transform her behavior, you could should relax from that relationship.

Find support elsewhere. Whether it's a support team or one more buddy who's aiming to slim down, find people who are on the same page and could aid you maintain those healthy habits.

3

Yourself - Exactly how You Could Undermine Your personal Effective weight loss

While family members and also buddies could in some cases intimidate your weight loss goals, your hardest doubter is most likely yourself. A lot of us are difficult on ourselves as well as more critical compared to we would ever be with anybody else. Being too restrictive and ruthless could in fact backfire. All of us have to have a little wiggle space and also taking that adaptability away can make you feel like you're being hurt instead of enjoying your workouts or healthy and balanced diet plan choices.

Some methods you might undermine yourself:

Having unrealistic expectations: "I should start on my diet plan today if I intend to shed 50 extra pounds in the next three weeks."

Following an overly limiting diet: "Lemon juice and also chili pepper for every meal? Perfect!"

Doing way too much exercise ahead of time: "I should have the ability to manage working out for 2 one hours on a daily basis at 4 a.m., right?"

Overbooking yourself: "400 cupcakes by tomorrow morning? Oh, hell, I can do that if I avoid-- well-- everything."

Giving justifications for not following up: "I would've done my workout however that sock cabinet won't organize itself, will it?"

Setting difficult effective weight loss goals: "My goal is to be the exact same weight I was before I had six children."

Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Set realistic goals. Offering yourself permission to reduce weight slowly and also securely will aid you concentrate much less on outcomes as well as even more on the crucial choices that will obtain you there.

Ditch the excuses. We all could think of some excuse for not exercising, but there are also much more needs to follow up. Invest your power thinking of just how to obtain relocating instead of exactly how to prevent your workout.

Give up on weight loss. Concentrating on a slow-moving scale could be irritating. Turning your focus to various other, a lot more significant goals, might motivate you much more while assisting you lose weight.

4

Vacations - Exactly how Your Getaway Could Undermine Your Weight-loss

Sometimes it's a person that sabotages you and also, various other times, it's a circumstance --- like a long holiday where anything goes. As well commonly, we consider a vacation as license to ditch every healthy actions we have actually been adhering to. Nevertheless, isn't really a vacation expected to be about taking pleasure in life? That intends to adhere to a diet or workout on getaway? The trouble with that said kind of thinking is that you could quickly blow all your difficult job and, while it might be fun at the time, you could regret it when you obtain back.

Some ways you might sabotage on your own:

Eating every little thing visible. It really feels good not to need to count every calorie, or eat a salad when you 'd a lot instead have the fried cheese sticks.

Drinking everything in view. Vacations make it all of a sudden appropriate to drink in the center of the day-- as well as the afternoon-- and all night.

Too much lounging. Relaxing could be a good idea, yet a number of us use a trip as a reason to do a lot nothing that also walking from the hotel room to the beach feels like an effort.

Stop the Sabotage

Plan ahead. Strategy points that are both energetic and fun between your lazy days. Long walks on the beach, bike rides or a snorkeling journey can be great for walking around without really feeling like you're exercising.

Try short workouts. There are a selection of brief exercises that will certainly keep you fit without reducing right into your getaway time.

Think moderation. Exotic drinks like piña coladas have lots of calories. If you do consume alcohol, go lighter with wine, light draft beer or alcohol with no-calorie mixers. Take pleasure in excellent food, yet treat yourself to merely 1 or 2 high-calorie selections a day, making your other foods a lot more healthful.

Plan for a little weight gain. Also if you do make excellent options, you might put on weight just since you're off you're regular regimen. Usage that as inspiration to get back on course when you get home.

5

The Holidays - Just how the Holidays Could Sabotage Your Effective weight loss

Staying fit and staying clear of weight gain is hard enough without adding the free-for-all attitude that comes with the holidays. Even even worse, a number of us go through lure for weeks at a time. Add in the anxiety of food preparation, purchasing, socializing and individuals and also you barely have the power for your exercises, a lot less the time.

Some circumstances you may run into:

You show up at an individual, prepared to forage on carrots and also tree bark. You look across the room and-- wait-- is that your ex holding on the arm of a person a lot better looking than you? You black out after nosediving into the treat table.

You pledge to have one beverage at your workplace celebration to conserve calories. Three shots of tequila later on, you understand dancing on the conference space table is an excellent way to burn those additional calories.

You're so hectic, your most extreme exercise entails circling around the shopping center for a parking space.

You look up exactly how several calories you could shed covering presents as well as learn you should wrap 5,416 presents just to burn that cup of eggnog you had last night.

Stop the Sabotage

Prepare yourself. Holiday celebrations will take place as well as they will certainly always consist of high calorie foods. Set up a celebration program in order to help you stay on track: Consume a light meal in advance, pick a couple of treats to indulge in at the individual, consume a glass of water for every alcoholic beverage as well as stay as far from the food as you can after you've eaten.

Keep exercising. Regardless of how hectic you are, make time for workout, also if it's simply ten minutes at a time. You'll manage your stress while keeping some semblance of order among the chaos.

Find some support. If you're having problem saying no to temptation, enlist a buddy in order to help guide you far from bad decisions. Have her fulfill you for workouts or obtain in between you and the buffet table at the next party.

6

The Workplace - Exactly how the Office Can Sabotage Your Weight Loss

Tiny, airless work area? Examine. Hours of tedious deal with an irritating employer? Check. Box of donuts available in any way hours of the day? Check.

The office could be one of the worst places for fat burning sabotage. Also if you enjoy your work, you're bound to get tired and tired, leading you to that mid-afternoon requirement for a pick-me-up. Add that you're sitting for a lot of the day, and you have a dish for weight gain.

Some scenarios you might deal with:

Parties. Birthdays, a person's new baby ... there constantly appears to be a factor for cake and also you do not wish to be a party-pooper, do you?

Meetings. It’s possible to endure a monotonous meeting without consuming among those 2,000-calorie cinnamon rolls, yet it scents so great as well as you're so hungry and your boss is droning on. Simply one will not hurt, will certainly it?

The donuts. In my office, we always had that a person individual that brought a box of fresh, steaming Krispy Kreme donuts daily. Even donut-haters couldn't resist.

The sweet dish. Walking by the receptionist's workdesk, you can feel the magnetic pull as well as a handful (or three) of delicious chocolates doesn't appear like a big offer at the time.

Eating out. When everyone orders the deep-fried dual cheeseburger unique, it's easy to follow along under the concept that, if you all do it, it does not count.

Stop the Sabotage

Keep healthy snacks. Fruit, instantaneous soup, popcorn or oatmeal will satisfy your cravings as well as maintain you away from the junk.

Bring healthy foods. I used to bring fruit to several of my conferences as well as captured a whole lot of flack for it. Better that than an added 5 lbs.

Ask for help. Inform your co-workers you require aid reducing weight as well as they might enjoy to move the donuts elsewhere or quit bringing them entirely.

Stay active. If you're innovative, there are methods to work out at job without your manager understanding about it. Attempt this workplace workout or these stretches right at your desk.

7

Exactly how Dullness, Solitude and also Anxiety Can Sabotage Your Weight reduction

Of all the consuming we do every day, emotional eating could be the most awful for undermining our weight reduction. When we feel bored, lonely or worried, the kitchen area is typically our initial refuge as well as we usually aren't grabbing the carrot sticks.

Food, specifically of the junk selection, can be an organic pick-me-up when you're sensation down, however it can conveniently include added pounds, making you really feel even worse concerning yourself. Even worse, the ideal laid healthy and balanced plans can go right gone despite stress or boredom.

Some scenarios you might face:

You invest an entire day working on a presentation about synergistic restructuring of customer-based initiatives. Hrs right into the task, you're so bored you've used all your modification to get candy bars from the vending machine. When you run out, you think about panhandling for more.

You're residence alone enjoying bad fact TV as well as feeling lonesome. You're nearly determined adequate to call your mother to talk, but realize you'll obtain less sense of guilt if you breathe in a bag of Doritos as well as a container of wine.

After a long day, you're exhausted but established making a well balanced meal. The pizza delivery kid drives by and also, prior to you can quit yourself, you're facing the street, swing a $20 expense and also howling for him ahead back.

Stop the Sabotage

Keep a food diary. Repeatedly creating down exactly what you're eating makes it much easier to discover just what activates emotional consuming as well as assist you avoid it.

Have a backup plan. Make a listing of points you can do when you're burnt out or lonesome-- take a walk, call a buddy, clean your teeth, clean out the scrap drawer, and so on. When you desire to consume making yourself really feel better, do just something on your list and you could bypass the urge.

Explore new options. Think of things you can do on a normal basis to reduce tension or beat dullness. Make food your last resort as opposed to your first.

[mildlymaddy]

I wrote a thing! :D The Lourry follow-up to my Another Man ficlet! Very non-angsty compared to the previous one, and also less PG. Another installment is planned but god knows when I’ll actually write it.

It was nice, having you over, Harry texts him the next day. We should do it again.

With or without the kiss? Louis types before he can talk himself out of it.

Harry’s answer takes a while.

Whichever you prefer.

“Fucker,” Louis grumbles, but he feels his lips trying to stretch into a grin and he can’t help the slight shaking of his fingers when he types back: I’m fine either way.

Good to know.

God, he’s a hundred percent fucked and no mistake.

--

They'd moved on to the kitchen after Harry begged him to stay. It was a bit early for dinner, but Louis could tell Harry needed something to keep himself busy, so when Harry asked if he was hungry, Louis said yes.

Harry seemed much more at ease in the kitchen than he’d been in his living room, less like a guest in his own house. Louis perched on a bar stool, leaning back against the central counter, and watched Harry move about, taking vegetables out of the fridge, filling a pan with water, sticking bread in the oven. The thought that Harry may have planned for Louis to stay for dinner, buying everything for a home-cooked meal, made something warm flutter timidly in Louis’s chest.

He still remembered how it had been, sharing a flat, both of them standing in the kitchen at three in the morning, restless from how big the world felt, trying to make a meal of what little non-expired food they had in their fridge. They’d both been terrible cooks, but it never seemed to matter. He could still see Harry bent double with laughter, wearing nothing but his ridiculously tiny pants and a chef’s apron, while the fish sticks were burning in the pan.

Harry’d been a kid back then, all cherub cheeks and impossibly big eyes. He wasn’t a kid now. Now he filled up the space, filled up his own body in a way Louis himself never really seemed to.

“Want something to drink?” Harry asked him, startling Louis out of his reverie.

“Sure. D’you have any beer?”

Dumping their undrunk tea in the sink, Harry got Louis some fancy beer he'd never even heard the name of, and uncorked some red wine for himself.

It got easier to talk then. Harry clearly felt at his most comfortable in full host mode, and the beer loosened Louis’s nerves. It helped that the conversation was easily filled with Harry’s thousand-and-one stories about his time filming Dunkirk, and Louis encouraged him to tell them all, liking the excited glint in Harry’s eyes as he talked about what, to Louis, sounded like months of torture, but to Harry had apparently been a game-changer.

“So you’re gonna keep on with it then?” Louis asked at last, extending grabby fingers for Harry to give him some of the cheese he’d just cut into pieces. He closed his hand too soon, trapping the tip of Harry’s fingers against his palm for a second, and hoped Harry hadn’t felt the shiver that went through him at the touch.

Harry turned his back on him, bending down on the carrots he was chopping with renewed concentration. “If I can, yeah. It was… Playing someone else? Like… I know it sounds stupid,” he said, turning round, a hand nervously playing with his short hair, “but not being myself? That felt amazing. Like… like being totally free.”

That was a little more heartfelt than Louis had anticipated, and he nodded noncommittally before taking a sip of his beer, not quite meeting Harry’s eyes. Harry shook his head and turned back to the stove, looking like he regretted admitting to it, so Louis reached a foot out and gently tapped Harry’s calf. “No, I get it,” he said when Harry glanced back. “Must have been nice.”

“It was more than nice. I wish… I don’t know how to explain.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a while after that, busying himself with his cooking. His cheeks were flushed from the heat of the pans, his white t-shirt speckled with red from when he’d stirred the tomato sauce with a little too much enthusiasm. Louis opened himself a second beer and, feeling warm and buzzing from the alcohol, let himself watch Harry.

It wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Years of constant scrutiny had taught him never to look at Harry for longer than was strictly necessary, and to never, ever, let his eyes wander down to any part of Harry’s body that wasn’t his face. Hell, even his face had been dangerous. Look at his eyes too long, and people would say you were mooning. Look at his lips, and… well.

For the first time in a long time, there was no one here to watch him watch Harry, and Louis felt the thrill of rule-breaking as he looked his fill, taking Harry in from head to toe, letting his eyes wander along the tattoos on his stupidly muscular arms, the rips in his jeans, down to his socked feet, for once free of the boots Harry was so fond of.

When he next looked up at Harry’s face, Harry was staring at him, eyes wide and unblinking, and Louis quickly turned away, feeling his cheeks flush.

“I don’t mind you looking,” Harry said, voice a little strangled.

Louis pretended like he hadn’t heard, grabbing the closest piece of paper and focusing his attention on it. It was just a bill for a recording studio session, and Louis soon put it back on the counter.

“Started recording already, then?” he asked, finally daring a glance in Harry’s direction. Harry was once again bent over his chopping board, mincing herbs. Louis wondered exactly how many healthy greens Harry intended to put into what Louis was pretty sure was supposed to be bolognese pasta.

“Just a couple songs. I’m still trying to figure out what I want them to sound like.”

Louis nodded, picking at the label of his beer. Harry was way ahead of him there. Louis still had no idea what he wanted to do next. He’d always thought he’d just write for other people, but all the lyrics he’d come up with so far felt too personal to give them to someone else.

“Alright! Enough fooling around,” Harry said, taking a deep breath, both hands braced on the kitchen counter. Louis looked up, heartbeat picking up. Harry turned around, looking solemn. “... dinner’s ready.”

Louis’s tension must have been visible to the naked eye, because Harry broke into a grin, clearly proud of his little trick.

“Are we eating directly from that pan then?” Louis said with a roll of his eyes, tapping Harry on the shin. Harry didn’t move, and Louis tapped him again, eyes fixed on the tip of his shoe as it bumped against Harry’s jeans. He suddenly wished he’d taken his shoes off when he’d come in. He extended his leg again, pressing the side of his shoe against the side of Harry’s shin and sliding it up to his knee, before sliding it back down all the way to Harry’s heel, nothing but white static in his ears as he brushed Harry’s jeans up, rubbing against Harry’s sock-clad ankle and trying so hard to feel it through the rubber of his shoe.

He let his leg fall back down, feeling vaguely sea sick, and kept on staring at Harry’s ankle, stuck in a moment he had no explanation for and didn’t know how to end.

Harry saved him, in the end, with something as simple as a clearing of the throat and a cocky, “Well, I’ve splurged on some plates lately, so we could be crazy and use those…”

“Living the high life, I see,” Louis said, glancing up with a little smile. Harry grinned.

“Help me set the table? I even have some cutlery.”

“Oh well, if you’re gonna go all fancy on me…”

They ate in the kitchen, Louis snatching some of Harry’s wine after his beer was done. Harry asked questions of his own, most of them about Freddie, and Louis answered as best he could, trying to take no notice of Harry’s keen eyes on him, or the touch of his arm against Louis’s as they bent over Louis’s phone to look at the videos he’d taken.

“That kid’s got attitude, wonder where he takes it from,” Harry mused, breaking into a full grin when Louis poked him in the stomach on reflex.

“You should come and meet him some day,” he said, unthinkingly. Harry’s smile slipped off his face, and Louis clicked his phone shut, wincing. “Yeah, right, probably not the best idea.”

“I’d love to,” Harry said, moving back to his seat. “You know I would.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry. That was stupid.”

“It shouldn’t have to be stupid,” Harry said darkly, eyes fixed on his plate, pushing a carrot around with his fork.

“Don’t play with your food,” Louis quipped, and that got a tiny smile from Harry, at least. “Now tell me, how are things in the Twist household? I need to know every instance of Robin taking the piss out of you since you got that big movie role.”

Harry laughed, his features instantly reshaping into the look of fond exasperation he had whenever he talked about his family. It was a look Louis had grown to love in recent years, once Harry had become more guarded with himself, because Louis knew it was something Harry could not control. When he talked about his family, Harry sounded like any of Louis’s non-famous friends talking about their life at home. It made it easy to pretend like nothing had ever happened to them. That they were just friends catching up.

Harry launched into a story of Robin mercilessly mocking him during the Christmas holidays, and Louis propped his chin up on his knuckles, drinking him in.

--

By the time Louis bid his farewell, both of them standing in Harry’s entryway, he felt unbalanced, like standing in two different timelines at once. Spending an evening alone with Harry, making him squawk out with laughter, listening to his rambling stories, was something Louis had long ago given up on. He’d never expected it to happen again, putting those memories away like you’d put old photographs in a box, taking them out once a year for a trip down memory lane, wondering if things might have been different but never doing anything to fix it.

Now Louis was starting to believe things could be fixed, and it was more terrifying than he would have expected it to be.

“Thanks for dropping by,” Harry said, shifting from one foot to the other, looking ganglier than anyone as fit as Harry had any right to be.

“Thanks for having me,” Louis said, wincing at how stiff he sounded, but Harry chuckled, and Louis allowed himself a smile.

“We should do this again. Like… from time to time…”

We should, shouldn’t we? Louis thought, feeling irrational nostalgia for a moment that had not yet ended. “Yeah,” he said, unable to make himself commit to more. The red wine Harry had been drinking all evening had left a dark smudge on his upper lip. Louis’s fingertips were tingling with the urge to reach up and rub it off.

Staring at Harry’s mouth like that was probably not the cleverest thing to do, but he couldn’t seem to make himself stop, until Harry bit his lip, then surged forward, strong arms pulling Louis into a hug as unexpected as it was welcome.

They had to realign themselves a bit, not used to fitting together anymore, but when Harry pushed his face against Louis’s neck, Louis reached up without thinking, brushing his fingertips against Harry’s short hair before burying his fingers into it, closing his fist around the strands and trying not to take too obvious a breath as Harry’s embrace tightened reflexively. Louis loosened his grip on Harry’s hair, scratched his fingernails down to the nape of his neck, before splaying his fingers again, pinky finger bumping against the shell of Harry’s ear.

Touching skin was like hitting a switch, and Louis did it again, deliberately this time, stroking Harry’s ear with a fingertip before gently tugging on his earlobe with thumb and forefinger, brushing Harry’s jaw with his knuckles. He felt a puff of wet breath against his neck, then Harry straightened up, eyes wide and grave.

“Why did you send me the magazine?” Louis blurted out, unaware he’d even wanted to ask the question, feeling the frantic flutter of his heart all the way down to his fingertips.

Harry leaned down and kissed him.

Louis didn’t think. He kissed back, pressing his lips against Harry’s hard enough to hurt, desperate for more but not daring to take it, afraid that the slightest movement of his lips would bring them back to their senses and break the moment. Harry must have felt that way, too, because they stayed like that for a long time, lips unmoving, standing still in Harry’s hallway with Louis’s hand in Harry’s hair and Harry’s arms wrapped around Louis’s back.

Louis’s mind was reeling. From the moment he’d opened Harry’s package and seen the magazine, he hadn’t even let himself think about the possibility of this happening. Kissing Harry was something Louis should have done years ago. It didn’t belong in the present. They’d had a break-up and a falling out without ever being together, and wanting to get together now felt like doing things out of order. Surely it could never work.

Louis felt sick from how much he wanted it to work.

Harry caved first, lips moving against Louis’s at last, gently closing around Louis’s bottom lip, then pressing against the corner of his mouth, before Harry leaned away ever so slightly, just enough to break the kiss for good. Louis chased his mouth, hand pressing down against the back of Harry’s head, desperate for another kiss that he knew he should probably not take but that Harry gave to him without hesitation. The hitch in Harry’s breathing when Louis grazed Harry’s bottom lip with his teeth shot straight down to Louis’s groin and made him step away at last, face burning hot.

“Well,” he said, too loud, laughing through the searing embarrassment, “Thanks for, um, everything.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry said, voice slightly hoarse. “Any time.”

Louis glanced up. Harry’s lips were a deeper pink than they’d been a minute ago, his eyes a darker shade of green. Louis looked away, turning towards the door with one awkward pat to Harry’s arm. “I’ll see you around then.”

“See you.”

Louis wasn’t sure how his legs carried him back to his car, but he managed to get there without making a spectacle of himself. Once safely hidden by his tinted windows he allowed himself to slump back against his seat, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, chasing the taste of Harry’s lips with his tongue.

It’s not like Harry had even tried to be subtle about it, but Louis had still walked into that trap without looking, and he doubted he’d have the self-preservation instincts to get out of it.

[burningfairytales]

EVERY EVEN NUMBER. SUFFER AS I HAVE SUFFERED (😘❤️❤️❤️)

FUCK YOU, TOO. 

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?Dunno what to tell you - I don’t really have any exes to talk to.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?Yes, definitely. I don’t trust easily. I’ve just kind of fallen on my ass too often to really trust people? 6. What are you excited for?Well you see, rumour has it my girlfriend is going to come visit me this summer, so that’s pretty neat. 

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?No? Well. Let me rephrase that. When someone gets so wasted that they forget themselves, when they start throwing up or being disgusting toward other people, or when they start doing dangerous stuff - yeah, that bugs me. But that has nothing to do with gender; I don’t give a fuck if the person doing it is male, female or other. It’s just generally shitty. Otherwise girls have just as much right to have fun and drink as other people do.10. What is the last beverage you had?A cup of tea. Unless we’re talking about alcohol, then it’s either a glass of red wine, or a milkshake with mint liqueur - can’t remember which one came first.12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?I do, but they look horrible on me, so. I don’t really wear them. 14. What are you going to spend money on next?Urrrrrrgh. Well see, there’s this necklace I’ve been eyeing for a while now, and it’s so FUCKING PRETTY and I really really want it, but I kinda can’t, this month? So I’m hoping it’s still gonna be on sale next month. So it’s probably either gonna be money for petrol, or a mother’s day gift, or a birthday gift 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?I think we all change constantly, so yeah, probably? (I also think we don’t ever really change deep down, so. Yes, but also no.)18. The last time you felt broken?I don’t know what to tell you fam, I don’t remember the last time I felt whole.20. Are you starting to realize anything?Not particularly, no?22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?Hell yeah?? Especially if they’re blacktip reef sharks. Do you know how adorable blacktip reef sharks are??24. What do you want right this second?That necklace. Curly fries. Not feeling like running into traffic. To be cuddling my girlfriend. To be kissing my girlfriend. We can’t all get what we want.26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?No, goddamnit. (Fun story: I tried using a thing called Color B4, which is supposed to bring back your natural hair colour - unless you’ve bleached it in the past.Well, I kinda didn’t consider that I have, in fact, bleached it before. So it’s even brighter than it was before I used the stuff, which means I can forget getting highlights any time soon.)28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?Something from the last episode of Lucifer, probably??30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?I really want to say yes, but also no.I just really don’t think that people ever truly change? Say someone said something bad, and they’re sorry - sure. I’d want people to give me a second chance, too.Say someone cheated on their partner? No. No, if they did it once, they’ll probably do it again. Say someone killed or raped someone?No. They deserve to rot in a dirty prison cell somewhere where they’ll never see the light of day again.32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?Well I sure as fuck hope she does??Hey babes, I’m kinda gay for you.34. Listening to?Five For Fighting - Heaven KnowsAnything by Walking on Cars and Causes tbh.36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?I can probably narrow it down to a 100km radius, yeah. 38. Who did you last call?Last call I got was from my local friend. Last person I called was...... uh. Well, Red probably, by accident, but I think she didn’t even notice. Before that it was Sasha.40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?Because I wanted to, and because I would have hated myself forever if I hadn’t asked if I could.42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?Yeah, I hugged my mum and my stepdad.44. Do you tan in the nude?Dude. I don’t tan at all.46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?Yeah (And then I said goodnight and “I love you” and she didn’t check that voice message so basically, I fell asleep without her knowing I said goodnight and I feel bad D; )48. Do you sing in the shower?Loudly, off-key, and with enthusiasm.50. Ever used a bow and arrow?I have, actually! I’m bad at it.52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?Hell nah. Bitch, I’d sell my soul to see a musical live. I would probably start crying.54. Ever eat a pierogi?NO BUT I WANT TO.56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?Oh god, uh. Police officer. Detective. Teacher, at some point. Journalist. I think I wanted to run away and join the circus at some point?58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?All. The. Time.60. Wear slippers?Nope. Barefoot or not at all. Well. Socks. If they’re cool socks.62. What do you wear to bed?A t-shirt.64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?As I’ve only ever been to a Target (and really enjoyed that surreal experience) gonna go with that one.66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Never had either.68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?I like covers and parodies much more than the original ones? I’m gonna go with “Mine.”

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?Writer, EMT, or bookshop owner.(Kidding. She can do whatever she wants to do and I’ll fully support it.)72. Ever won a spelling bee?Yeah, we don’t have those here. We do, however, have reading contests - I placed second in the German one, and first in the English one.74. What is your favorite book?DON’T.(The Foxhole Court, probably.)76. Regularly burn incense?Nope. I don’t mind incense though.78. Who would you like to see in concert?THE FRAY AND FALL OUT BOY.Also I’d love to see Panic! At the Disco, Causes and Walking on Cars again.80. Hot tea or cold tea?Both! Cold tea when it’s hot outside, hot tea when it’s cold outside. 82. Favorite type of cookie?Chocolate chip. Also the ones you get from subway.84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?Uh, yeah? I didn’t think this was a thing people couldn’t do tbh.86. DJ or band, at a wedding?I’d have to discuss this with my future wife, ofc. I don’t mind either way .I’ve never given much thought to a wedding since I thought it wouldn’t be an issue. I’d want something small though?88. Ever have plastic surgery?Nope.90. Opinions on sex before marriage?Anyone that wants to do it can do it. I’m not gonna tell anyone how to live their life, and they shouldn’t let someone else tell them how to live it either.92. Do you want to get married?Ah, here it is.If you’d asked me before Christmas, I’d have said no, simply because I didn’t think I’d ever be in a position where that would be an issue.(Was never opposed to it! I always loved the idea of Marriage - just not for me.)Now - yeah. I guess... I guess I’d really like that. Maybe. Depends, really - I can’t make this decision by myself.

[geekoftherings]

Re: long “about you” (circa 2013 vs now)

I’m going through my posts (which is a terrible idea with 18,000+ posts), and I have found this “about you” survey thing. For my personal enjoyment, and any followers who cares enjoyment, I am answering it again, but also keeping my original answers (from November 1st, 2013--first semester of college, still living at home, had never gone on a real date, poor lil baby me). 

New answers in bold! Read if you wanna compare first semester of college me to last semester of college me. 

1. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Mostly, yeah,

Yeah, I’d keep this answer about the same honestly. Satisfaction seems like such a hard thing to quantify. I want more. I always want more. I’m an ambitious person. But right now in this moment, I’m getting decent grades, in a decent apartment, with an amazing partner, I have enough food, enough money to buy coffee on the way to class, enough hope for the future to keep going. Pretty satisfied with the right now life, and I’m excited for the more to come. 

2. Do you drink enough water? No, water is gross.

God no, never. I drink mostly coffee and wine. I am never hydrated enough.

3. When was the last time you ate at Burger King? Like a year or more ago, I guess.

I . . . have no idea? Have I eaten at Burger King since 2012? Maybe? I had Wendy’s today, let’s pretend that counts.

4. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains? I’m more familiar with beaches, but ugh mountains sure look pretty.

This is the same answer. I have far more experience with beaches than mountains, but I still really love looking at mountains (also at beaches (also at anything else pretty)). 

5. How do you usually feel when you wake up on a morning? I try to avoid waking up in the morning.

A strange mixture of sad and mad. I super dislike waking up. It makes me angry. My partner has told me, when I’ve asked them to help me wake up, “but you get mad at me when I wake you up.” Yes, sorry I know, it’s not you, it’s waking up--it sucks. Angry at whatever has woken me up, and sad because I get very sad when sleepy. 

6. Would you rather take someone on a date, or be taken on a date? I would rather just not go on a date. Can’t we watch sci-fi and cuddle on the couch instead?

Yeah all three. I really love being spoiled, being taken somewhere and treated sweetly and kissed passionately, and I really love taking someone somewhere and treated them sweetly and kissing them passionately. I also love stay-in dates. Let’s watch ATLA in bed and eat ice cream? (actually a super common date with my partner and I--I love it<3 and them<3). 

7. When was the last time you wore high heeled shoes? About a month ago! I was sexy, man, sexy.

Ooooh. I have not very high heels I wear nearly daily, a little bit higher but still not high heels I wore at work this summer, and then I had actual high heels that I wore to a fundraiser wine-tasting thing with my mother this summer. So high heels a few months ago? I was still super sexy, man, so sexy.  (instagram plug if you’re interested in my sexy self: https://www.instagram.com/p/BVulYuWFfS5/?taken-by=geekoftherings )

8. How often do you cry? I get a little teary eyed when I see LotR posts, but I hardly ever actually cry. Real crying happens like once a month, maybe.

HA. HA. HA. Like two days ago. I’ve been crying nearly daily lately. I’m a mess. (this feels contradictory to the satisfaction as mentioned above, but it’s not really. I can be fully aware of how nice my life is, how satisfied I am with it, and still be depression and neurotic and a general anxious mess. It’s fun.)

9. Ever had a crush on a teacher? I was homeschooled until this year when I started college, so no, I’ve never had a crush on a teacher.

Still gonna say no. I’ve had teachers I’ve thought were really cute (one grad student teacher that everyone in the class agreed “wanna fuck that”), and I’ve had a teacher who crushed on me (that was weird). But never a person I’ve actually crushed on. 

10. Can you wire a plug? I’ve changed outlets before. Does that count?

Same answer. Still wondering if changing outlets counts. 

11. Do you wear socks to bed? No. Socks annoy my feet.

^^^ still annoying. Only do it if really cold. 

12. What is currently bugging you? I am currently bugged that I have homework that I don’t want to do. Homework bugs me.

Yeah yeah, still avoiding homework. 

13. Where were you when you got your first period? I woke up in a puddle of blood when I was about 13. That was fun.

Oh yeah this answer can’t change. Still true. I was 13 and slept hard enough to wake up in a puddle. I still wake up in puddles occasionally. It’s great fun.

14. Can you change a car tire? Yeah, I’ve helped my dad do it before, but truth is, I can’t do it by myself. I’m too weak.

Yeah still same. I don’t think I could actually do it by myself, but, in theory, I know how. 

15. Have you met more than ten celebrities? I’ve never met any. D:

I am going to argue that I have because I think I have met pre-celebrities. “Celebrities” being interrupted lightly. The thing about being a creative writing major is most of my classmates are aspiring novelists or poets, and I think some of them are really good and/or really determined. While writers are very rarely “celebrities”, I think for the writing community, at least 10 of them will be noted in some form or another. 

16. Do you sleep naked? Eh, I have a couple times, but I prefer clothes.

Sometimes after sex, yeah, but usually I’ll put on undies and a shirt. I find it more comfy. 

17. What was the best music gig you’ve ever attended? Oh man. I’ve seen some good concerts. I recently saw Skillet, and boy howdy, they were good. They knew how to put on a show. Other good ones were Sick Puppies, Staind, and Halestorm.

GREEN DAY. They were the best fucking concert ever. AND ALSO.  I groped my partner throughout the entire concert, which made it even better. 

18. Have you ever had sexual feelings for anyone you follow? Yo, I follow Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Of course I have had sexual feelings for someone I follow.

I follow my partner, and I have sex with them daily. So yes. 

19. Do you think bisexual candycorn is hot? Candycorn is gross, but I’m bisexual and hot.

Actually, I am not bi. This was little baby me trying to find a word to describe my sexuality, and, upon finding bisexual, clung to it firmly and with great passion. At this point in my life, I am choosing to not pick a firmer label and am just going with queer. Bi is too limiting, too binary. Pan is more accurate, but I feel weird about that, like it still doesn’t feel right. So. I am identifying as queer now. 

20. Favourite Disney princess? Mulan and Merida. Those are some strong-willed women who don’t need a man.

^^^ YES.

21. Favourite city? Minas Tirith.

Yeah, true, it’s a cool city. I really like Philadelphia though. I’ve loved living here, it’s such a cool city. I’m going to miss it a lot when I graduate and move away. I’m excited to try on Chicago though, and I look forward to trying some west coast cities--Portland maybe? San Fran maybe? 

22. Can you drive? Yeah, but I don’t like it.

NOT LEGALLY. I couldn’t then either, yo. I can drive, as in I know how and have done it before, I don’t drive and don’t have a licence. HOPEFULLY that is coming soon. 

23. Cigarettes or alcohol? Alcohol. Yes.

Draaaaaank. 

24. Exercise or healthy eating? I am currently consuming beer and animal crackers. Healthy eating isn’t a priority of mine. As for exercise, I have asthma and nearly die when I try to!

Lol I am currently consuming a poptart and rum, and I still have asthma. Yeah, some things never changed. 

25. Favourite and least favourite accents? I love accents. I have never met one I didn’t like. My favorite though is probably Scottish.

Yeeaaaah, gimme some sexy Scots speaking so thickly I can’t understand it. It’s so pretty though.

26. What are you looking forward to? Not doing homework.

GRADUATION. I’m so close. I’m so ready. So uhm. Basically the same as then, but in a more long-term way (until I go to grad school--but that’s a couple years off probably).

27. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child? Bitch, I was the Blue Ranger.

I don’t know what my answer means honestly. But yes to both. 

28. Are you more attracted to men or women? Erm, men. Preferences are okay. ^_^

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I will probably stick to my assertion of a masculine preference, but I feel as though it needs to be wigglier, looser.  More of a shrug and less of an assertion, honestly. 

29. Do you like 1980s fashion? Lolno

I appreciate it for it is. 

[surveysonfleek]

317.

Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? nah, it’s normal i guess.

Where are you the most ticklish? my neck.

Can you manage to tickle yourself? haha no.

What was the last situation to upset you? all through saturday i had a pretty weak stomach and my boyfriend insisted we eat indian food for dinner that night. i was sick the entirety of sunday. it sucked.

Have you ever had an online argument? yeah years ago hahahaha.

Do you like to listen to music while filling out surveys? not usually.

Do you ever eat/drink while you fill them out? sometimes.

Have you ever done a survey whilst high or drunk? How’d it go? yep haha. it was fine.

Are you at risk for any medical issues? not that i know of.

Is there anything near you that’s considered dangerous? not really.

What is just down the hall from where you’re located? the bathroom.

Do you ever do surveys at other peoples’ houses? nah.

Do any of your friends know you fill out surveys? nope.

What is your least favorite question to answer? just stupid yes/no questions or boring questions like ‘who’s the last person you kissed’ etc.

How long do you spend on the phone each day, on average? hardly.

Is anything in your hair right now, like gel, hairspray, etc.? nope.

Name something unusual located near to you? wasabi peas.

Would you try to be a hero in a hostage situation? not really but i’d definitely try devise a plan.

When was the last time you were up before the sun? omg i don’t even remember.

Do you like wearing sunglasses? Why or why not? yes.

Where’s the best place to get your favorite dish? korean bbq.

When are you most likely to fill out a survey? before i sleep.

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? water.

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20? my sister.

Last time you walked further than a block? yesterday.

Do you chew on your hair? nope.

Is there an upcoming concert you want to go to? yes, bryson tiller. tickets were impossible to get.

Is technology outsmarting humans? it’s headed that way.

Would you ever want to be a ventriloquist? no.

Is there anything you can’t stop thinking about? i guess.

Are you worried about anything? no.

Do you have a nasty taste in your mouth right now? no.

What flavor [in general] is your favorite? anything savoury idk.

What day is garbage day? thursday morning.

What is your favorite musical? aladdin was great.

Are you afraid of death? only sudden death.

Have you tried those new banana creme oreos? nope.

Do you take painkillers every time you have a headache? yes because i never ever get headaches. so when i do, i complain.

Have you ever lied about your sexual past? no.

Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks? yes.

Who’s the last person’s house you went to & stayed? an airbnb.

How’s your ex doing? no ex.

What’s annoying you right now? that work won’t give up some shifts.

Have you ever watched a movie drunk? yes.

What are you doing tonight? nothing.

Are you tired? not yet.

What kind of socks do you have on? no socks.

What color is your underwear? green.

What will you do Sunday? getting my lashes redone.

Does your family own any mansions? no.

Do you have any interesting bruises or scars? nothing interesting.

Where were you at noon today? at home.

How long does it take you to get ready to go out? probably an hour. if i have wash my hair then definitely longer.

Have you been outside of the US? i live outside of the usa.

Last show you watched? riverdale.

Next vacation you’re going on? nothing planned.

Who’s your best friend from out of the state you live in? ummm no one haha. irene when she used to live in london.

Will you be under the influence of alcohol today? no.

Do you regret doing anything you’ve done this week? nope.

Last night you felt? shitty.

What are you wearing right now? pyjamas.

Do you want to see somebody right now? yes.

What were you doing 1:00 a.m. this morning? coming home from work.

Were you single on your last birthday? no.

Have you ever kissed underneath the stars? i think so.

What are you doing now? this and watching riverdale.

When is your birthday? dec 5.

What are you listening to? riverdale.

What plans do you have for tonight? yes.

What’s the very first thing you do when you wake up, other than breathe? check the time and pee.

Do you like reading? yes.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying? no.

Last time you had a sleepover? on the weekend.

Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex? dark.

Have you ever been awake for more than 2 nights straight? i have, but i’ve slept during the day.

Ever kissed anyone who was one of your friends? yeah.

Do you own a pair of Converse? yes.

Do you eat cookie dough? yes.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? no.

When’s the last time you had gummy bears? i don’t remember. i don’t really like them.

Do people consider you smart? some people do.

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? haha back as a teenager.

Do you know someone who likes you? yes.

Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? yes.

Like anyone more than a friend? yes.

Have you ever just felt like giving up? no.

Have you ever stayed up very late talking to the person you like[d]? yessss.

Have your parents ever not approved of someone? not really.

Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you? yes.

How much money did you spend today? $0.

Is your best friend a slut? no.

Are you happier now than you were last year? hmm not really actually.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my boyfriend.

Do you own any Batman movies? no.

Is there anything in your past that you’d like to try again? sure.

Are you missing anyone? yes.

Is anyone else in the room with you? no.

How do you feel right now? bored.

Does anyone call you baby? yes.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight? yeah i already have.

What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? sleeping.

Did you and your mom ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? no.

Would you ever date someone who was absolutely gorgeous/handsome but thought they were better than everyone? no.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 2 months from now? yes.

Do you remember who you liked on New Year’s? yes.

Do you have empty bottles of alcohol hidden somewhere? nope.

What grade is the last person you texted in? they’re not in school anymore.

Have you changed in the past 6 months? yes.

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? one person.

First and middle name please. no thanks.

Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you like? hopefully not.

Are your nails painted a dark or light color? dark.

Is there something written on your shirt right now? no.

Is there a bookshelf in your room? no.

Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? yeah, turquoise.

Have you ever read in the bathtub? yes.

What do you use to remove your makeup at night? makeup wipes and then micellar water.

Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? yes.

What day of the week does the laundry usually get done? it depends when there’s a full load to go in.

What channel is the Food Network? i dont have it.

Do you still write in pencil? no.

Do you eat onion rings? hardly even though i love them.

When did you last go to the zoo? less than a year ago but im going this weekend again.

How many cardigans do you own? quite a few. maybe 6-8?

Do you own a robe? no.

Who did you last have a text conversation with, and what was it about? my boyfriend. just about work.

Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office? mailbox.

Have you ever had an ear infection? yes.

What’s your favorite thing to order when you get Chinese food? honey chicken.

How many different shades of nail polish do you have? sooo many. i have two shelves full of it.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? nothing.

Is your hair naturally straight, curly, or wavy? wavy.

Can you cook for yourself? yeah.

Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? no.

Would you consider yourself heartless? no.

Do you ever wish you were the opposite sex? no.

Ever been suspended from school? no.

Have you ever read any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books? haha yes i used to love them.

Last person you were in the car with? myself.

How tall are you? 5′4″

Do you want to cut your hair? not really.

Don’t tell me lies. Is the last person you texted attractive? yes.

Do you regret anything? yes.

If you found out you were pregnant who would you tell first? my boyfriend.

When was the last time you saw the person you last kissed? sunday.

Have you ever been called a tease? no.

What are your chances of getting with your crush? pretty high since we’re dating.

What do you want in your life right now? a new job. a liftestyle change i guess.

When was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry? on the weekend.

What exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated? wine.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? sorta.

Do you miss the way things used to be? yes.

Write random lyrics to the song you’re listening to: not listening to music.

Do you remember every single person that you’ve kissed? yes.

How many people have you kissed this year? one.

What should you be doing right now? nothing.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? of course.

What is your best friend’s Mom’s name? patricia.

[bxnzxmb]

Answer them all :)

1:        When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?   More Cereal

2:        do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?    No

3:        what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?    Napkins or pencils

4:        how do you take your coffee/tea?    With soy milk

5:        are you self-conscious of your smile?    self conscious about everything tbh

6:        do you keep plants?  only a cactus i’ve had in my back year for about 10 years

7:        do you name your plants?    no

8:        what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?    nothing really I try to write but its usually really bad lol

9:        do you like singing/humming to yourself?  singing, but I usually forget the words but that doesn’t stop me

10:        do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?    back and side but never my stomach that hurts my neck

11:        what's an inner joke you have with your friends?    can’t tell you its an inner joke

12:        what's your favorite planet?   Earth. But also Mars and Jupiter: more so for the mythology.

13:        what's something that made you smile today?   seeing my dog

14:        if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?  a mattress and computer table only surrounded by empty beer bottles 

15:        go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!    99% of our solar system's mass is the sun

16:        what's your favorite pasta dish?    Ravioli

17:        what color do you really want to dye your hair?    I want to bleach my hair but i think my skin is too dark

18:        tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. My best friend had answers for all the tests and she knew I was struggling but didn’t tell me and watched me struggle. Never letting that go

19:        do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?    No

20:        what's your favorite eye color?    It used to be green then blue but now Im in love with brown eyes

21:        talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.    No tengo

22:        are you a morning person?    Only if im still up from last night

23:        what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?    Sleep

24:        is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?    No

25:        what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?    Some weird place downtown that was filled with Japanese people that didn’t speak any English at all

26:        what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?    dont have em

27:        what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?    Green- spearmint

28:        sunrise or sunset?  Both are beautiful in their own way 

29:        what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?  Checks my blog daily LOL 

30:        think of it: have you ever been  truly scared?   Yes

31:        what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.    I like black socks and I only throw away my socks when they start to get holes in them. I can’t sleep in socks I feel restricted, kinda like wearing pants when I sleep.

32:        tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.   Nothing good happens after 2AM

33:        what's your fave pastry? Cheese danish   

34:        tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?     I was a pink bunny I used to wrestle with because I used to think wrestling was real

35:        do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?    I like smooth writing black ink pens

36:        which band's sound would fit your mood right now?    Listening to Radiohead rn but more in the mood for some slow classical music rn tbh

37:        do you like keeping your room messy or clean?    Clean but it tends to stay messy

38:        tell us about your pet peeves!    Hippocrates- more so people who tell me they HATE something and then love it soon after, like come on have some values!

39:        what color do you wear the most?  Black/grey 

40:        think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?    I dont wear jewelry

41:        what's the last book you remember really, really loving?    Killing the Rising Sun

42:        do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!   Coffee shops are too glorified on this website, I like making my own coffee to be completely honest

43:        who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?  Someone no longer in my life

44:        when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?  Only recently, first time in years

45:        do you trust your instincts a lot?    I try not to because I tend to be wrong about people alot

46:        tell us the worst pun you can think of.    Amanda LOL

47:        what food do you think should be banned from the universe? forget that we need to ban fireball   

48:        what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?   As a kid it was death, today its life. Quite the opposite.

49:        do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?    Never bought physical music. ( or digital)

50:        what's an odd thing you collect?  I keep my old chapsticks( the ones I dont lose) because those smells can take me back to moments in my life.

51:        think of a person. what song do you associate with them?    Ophelia

52:        what are your favorite memes of the year so far?    hm, probably the darth kermit that one took my by surprise

53:        have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show?  heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?   Dont understand this, so im guessing no

54:        who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?   My dog when I left this morning ahah

55:        what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?    Broken up/ blocked someone

56:        what are some things you find endearing in people?    seeing them genuinely care without wanting something in return

57:        go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?    Took me a while to like this song

58:        who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?    Kylie old grandma, vodka is nikki because of her gluten allergy lol

59:        what's your favorite myth?  Can’t pick one

60:        do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?    Very much so, can’t recall on the top of my head

61:        what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?    Hm pretty content with both tbh.

62:        do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?    only coffee

63:        are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?    not really, Ill organize them when im bored

64:        what color is the sky where you are right now?    Dark blue?

65:        is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?    ya

66:        what would your ideal flower crown look like?    idk

67:        how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?    sleepy and horny and lazy

68:        what's winter like where you live?   50 degrees F with chance of rain

69:        what are your favorite board games?    Monopoly

70:        have you ever used a ouija board?    No

71:        what's your favorite kind of tea?    Thai or earl grey

72:        are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?    Usually I have a pretty good memory

73:        what are some of your worst habits? Thinking of impossible scenarios in my mind   

74:        describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.    caring, loving, protective

75:        tell us about your pets!    I have a 9 month old rottweiler who keeps me very happy and I want to get another dog soon, between a golden retriever, German shepherd or cane corso.

76:        is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?    Not really, I’ve been very responsible today

77:        pink or yellow lemonade?    yelllow

78:        are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?    Honorary member of the fan club

79:        what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? brought me food when I told them I never want to see them again :D   

80:        what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?    Light green, because I want something to keep me happy and a soothing color. Something that will mellow me out. Yes I chose it.

81:        describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.    Beautiful, like another world

82:        are/were you good in school?  Depends really

83:        what's some of your favorite album art?  Usually Jay-z has artsy stuff. 

84:        are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?    Im torn on this

85:        do you read comics? what are your faves?    I barely started reading books lol

86:        do you like concept albums? which ones?    Prefer them.

87:        what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?   Star Wars (1-3) 

88:        are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?   Love abstract and street art

89:        are you close to your parents?    Yes

90:        talk about your one of you favorite cities.    Apart from my own city, I think I love vegas, It’s filled with all types of people. Everyone is doing whatever they want to try to make themselves happy. Kinda like a heaven and hell mixed together.

91:        where do you plan on traveling this year?    Nothing in mind, maybe to canada or UK

92:        are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?    Drown

93:        what's the hairstyle you wear the most?    The i just woke up one

94:        who was the last person you know to have a birthday?    My cousins birthday is today

95:        what are your plans for this weekend?  hm, nothing really, just get through it.

96:        do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?    Remind me later

97:        myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?    Taurus

98:        when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?    Very much so I went with my friends and we all brought our doggies

99:        list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.    It depends really

100:        if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?    I really want to say forward which is something i’ve never thought I’d even consider. With that being sad, going back is always “easier” due to the fact that you’ve done it before and are familiar with upcoming events.