#if I am not using the right words to describe this (I am not academically prepared on religions) BUT IT'S A FEEL

[alexjcrowley]

I don't think you understand how Italian is the "Stai bene? (Are you well?)" from Lawrence and Tedesco answering "Mah, no one is ever well at our age". I'll try to explain, it's like an italian thing, especially if you're from the South. That if somebody pays you a compliment or hints at things going well for you, you downplay it because by complimenting you they're "cursing" you. It's a folkloristic thing, the kind of thing that my grandmother would say to me: beware of people complimenting you and be careful not to share the good things going on with you, because the moment you do people might "curse" you. Very difficult to put this thing into words, but Goffredo Tedesco I see you. I see you a Patriarch of Venice on the road to papacy and still believing in grandmother's (pagan) superstitions because that's how religion, especially for old people, works in Italy. Again, difficult to put into words, but I know in my heart that he is answering Lawrence's question the same way my grandmother would answer it. I see you outrunning malocchio, Cardinal Tedesco. And I respect it.

[thedreadvampy]

Me trying to be low-key and normal: "Ehhhhh so I think Saltburn is really the epitome of naive camp per Sontag largely because Emerald Fennel has a strong desire to reflect a very specific aesthetic sensibility but you know, because rich people lack a certain uhhhhhhh connection to the I guess cultural zeitgeist of Normal Fucking People it's just a clusterfuck of absent signifiers, right?"

Me trying So So So Hard to impress people and look cool: "So I'm trying to read The Second Sex but it's full of sentences like 'reifying the alterity of women removes access to the human Mitsein' and it's like lol, what does that even mean?" [<< knows full well what that sentence means and actually thinks that's the clearest and simplest way to express the idea]

[makingqueerhistory]

":')))))))) you realise that gen AI is available to everyone though right??? Queer creators can use it just as much as anyone else??? I just don't understand this post... It really feels like a cheap way to get on the 'AI Bad's bandwagon, and coming from such a thoughtful and insightful creator that's incredibly disappointing... It's okay to not comment on subjects you're not an expert in y'know...?"

Y'all know the drill, I am replying to this publicly but that is not an invitation to send any negative messages to the person I am replying to.

Anyways, let me start by saying that the original context of the post you're replying to is discussing an event where a queer org used generative AI to steal an interview with Keri Hulme. So let's start there. To be clear I don't even know if the original interviewer was queer so let's put the identities of stealer and stolen from to the side. I want to explain the harm done in this example specifically and I hope this is illustrative of what harm generative AI can (and does) do.

The original place I saw generative AI was a queer org that explicitly says they are using generative AI "for good", and as a way to bring more queer history to light. So let's take them at their word, and assume they are not out to cause harm. This is the best example of generative AI that I can imagine, so I hope that makes it clear that I am not coming at this issue from bad faith in any way.

Here is the harm they are causing:

Decontextualizing and rephrasing an interview: I am not going to pretend that I am an expert in academic best practices, but I do believe one thing, if a person is speaking on their own identity and lived experience, it is always much better to directly quote than it is to rephrase. As I read this source, I initially didn't know that it was AI, and I was already upset. An interview that is widely available on the internet with no pay wall, was poorly sourced and made more vague than it was in the initial text. By creating one degree of seperation between the original words of A WRITER (whose literal job was largely based in choosing the right words to describe experiences they had) harm is already done. It makes vague what was once clear, and removes Keri Hulme's voice from her own narrative.

The original interviewer is not paid, or given proper recognition: I get it, sometimes just copy pasting an interview doesn't feel transformative enough, but something that one would learn if they worked in the queer history field and weren't a literal robot rehashing what has already been said, is that not everything needs to be transformed. In those cases, we give credit to the person who said the original words (in this case Keri Hulme), and the interviewer who facillitated the conversation (in this case Shelley Bridgeman). This case (again a best case scenario), takes the attention and byline away from the original interviewer and gives it to an AI.

The original publisher of this story is deinsentivised from paying interviewers in the future: The original publisher of this interview has ads on their website. As a person who also has ads on their website, taking an article like this and rephrasing it for no good reason (the orginal word count was not prohibitive and the rephrasing did not make it more readable), takes money from the publisher. It's pennies, but it's also removing numbers could have been used to justify further interviews with asexual people and archiving of asexual stories. The org that stole from this publication does not interview people themselves so the money and numbers that could have gone to continue to preserve asexual stories goes to stealing them instead.

These are just the active harms that I saw in this specific case. As you said, I am not an expert in generative AI, and will not be speaking as if I am. But I will say that asking me not to speak out on active harm that is being caused in queer history spaces, is disrespectful to my many years in this field.

To illustrate this even clearer: if you were a patron, you would know I recently took down an old article. I have been rereading and editing our backlist of articles, and I found one that no longer fit my standards of sourcing. My standards had recently raised due to a video made by HBomberguy about someone in the queer history space who was stealing from other creators. I watched this video not as a work project, but because I watch most of HBomberguys videos, and this one made me think more critically about sourcing. An AI can't do that. All an AI has is what has been inputted, and it is right now impossible to input every available peice of information about ethics into an AI and get a coherent ethical basis on which it will function.

It is a distinctly human trait to absorb information and change in that way. AI can rephrase information that already exists, steal it, recontextualize it even, but it cannot create something altogether new.

Do I believe that there one day might be an ethical use for Generative AI? Maybe. Do I believe that coming into a queer history space, stealing the words of a Maori asexual author, rephrasing them, and giving the original interviewer and publication no form of compensation for their work, is accomplishing that? No.

On a more personal note: I am coming at this issue with a bias. As a queer history creator, I do not want AI in my space, because it is literally damaging to my financial prospects. It has been like pulling teeth to try and get patrons in the current state of the global economy. I don't blame anyone from that, but I feel very disrespected that I am being asked to compete with a machine now. Not only that, but I am being asked to shut up and be fine with it? No, absolutely not. I cannot and will not stay quiet as space that I have fought tooth and nail to create in mainstream discussions is taken and given to AI.

AI was not supporting me when I was sent gore to try and scare me off of discussing queer history. A person did that. AI was not there to tell me I had written too many sad stories, and I needed some happy endings to remind myself of the good in the world. A person did that. AI was not there when I was being harrassed for supporting and including asexual stories on my website. A person did that.

And after all that, I am being asked to lie down and take it when my ability to pay the people who supported me in those ways, is being threatened. Nope. Not going to happen.

An AI doesn't have to make rent. An AI doesn't understand what it feels like to have to stop holding their wife's hand in public. An AI didn't get calls from people needing comfort in reaction to the election. Pay me for my work, and get this AI nonsense out of my face.

[krekdon]

hot take but i think if your feedback on an essay is that its 'excellent' but u grade it in the 'very good' band you shld have to explain urself

[slater-baby]

Slater's Basic Writing Tips

A post on how I began writing, how I try to improve my writing, and how I describe my own writing!

This post was written per request by an anonymous ask. Refer to this post for the specific question.

A question from an anonymous writer:

"i was wondering if you could give us some insight on how you found your writing style? You have a way to make it still feel complex and full of emotion but also like the reader is right there with all the senses being touched upon. I don't know how to write about it without gushing, but my question is how did you learn to do this and what would you describe your writing style as? (as well as any hacks or tips)"

How did I begin to write?

It's hard to remember, but I really just jumped into the deep end. When I first began writing, I had no plans to do anything more than write short, 1k stories about frivolous things. I did no research, took no classes, read up on no advice.

I just started.

Of course, back then, I had no expectations for myself. I wasn't writing for a specific audience, nor was I looking to take myself seriously, and I think that helped in a lot of ways. Having fun with it, letting yourself make mistakes, and not being afraid to jump into the deep end definitely helped. In the end, all that mattered was that I was putting words down on the page.

I think that this works for a lot of hobbies. Like drawing for example. Say that you wanted to learn how to draw, but read no books on the subject, looked up no tutorials, and didn't take anyone's advice. Even without any instruction, if you drew a picture every day for 100 days straight, there would still be improvement in your ability to draw. In the end, it doesn't entirely matter whether you thought the drawings were good on a day to day basis, but rather the act of drawing that's important.

Writing is similar in many ways. And while I think that learning to write in a formal environment is great and should be encouraged for all people, practicing your writing without any rules or structure shouldn't be looked down upon either!! They're two sides of the same coin, and they contribute to your goal in their own individual ways.

Let yourself write shitty things. Let yourself write meaningless, stupid things. Trust me, it'll make your life better.

-

How do I try to improve my writing?

a. Read!

I've thought A LOT about what kind of advice I might give you, and while I don't have any concrete "hacks" to writing well, I think there are some things that every writer can do to expand upon their own abilities!

I know this is common advice, but it's true advice:

If you want to write well, you need to read well.

For a long time, I (like an idiot) assumed that I didn't really read that much, so when people were always saying that writers need to read, I was kind of like "huh well I guess I'm behind on the game lmao"

But, in actuality, I realized that that it was the complete opposite 💀 I guess it just didn't register in my mind because I don't consider reading reading....like, I just considered it me having fun alkdfjlkaf 💀

Like, reading is basically on the same level as playing video games and going to parties for me aldskjfaklj It's not a task so much as it is something I am actually viscerally addicted to lmao

I read at least 2 hours every day, usually more. I read for about an hour when I wake up and about an hour when I go to bed, mostly fiction novels. I read news articles every day at lunch for the large part of my break, which is about an hour. I read academic journals and nonfiction for class, and I also read other academic journals just in my free time 💀 that sounds dorky but it's not really serious reading as it is so much me looking up a question on google and then getting sucked into a journal about evolutionary biology LMAO

Basically, reading is like doing crack to me, and like a dumbass, I read so much that I actually thought I didn't read at all because everyone was talking about it like it was some big chore or something 💀

But honestly, it's great advice.

Read a lot. Enjoy reading a lot. Don't read just for the sake of reading, or because you have to do it. Read because you just fucking love reading! Read stupid novels that have bad reviews. Read short articles that don't mean anything. Read highly academic works for your studies, or read a journal about a topic you can barely understand purely because you're curious!

Don't let those haughty literature people tell you that you're only reading if you're reading something like Dostoevsky.

Reading is a skill and there are different levels to it. Maybe dense literature is too much for you. Doesn't mean you're worse than someone who can choke down the Iliad like it's nothing. Maybe it just means you want to spend time on things like Percy Jackson or Harry Potter instead!

b. Analyze the media you consume!

Now, this is definitely more difficult to do than just picking up a book and reading it. Admittedly this skill takes awhile to develop, and if you haven't done higher level reading in a formal setting before, you might find it kind of hard. However, if you're looking to take writing more seriously, then this is what I recommend. Here's a few things you should consider when analyzing a piece of media.

Just because you criticize something doesn't mean you can't love it, too. No piece of media is perfect. In fact, search for things you think a great piece of media could improve upon, and it'll help identify flaws in your own writing. For example, in the newest season of Severance (no spoilers), I thought that the time spent on establishing the scenery and atmosphere of some episodes was too long, and that that it lost the focus of the plot after a certain length of time.

There is no objective morality. There is no one set of beliefs that is entirely correct in the world. Claiming that one certain belief is entirely true is kind of like telling someone God exists: you really can't prove it. If a piece of media goes against your own views, consider what points the author makes that supports their thesis. Do you have to agree with them? No. Do you have to support them? No. But should you recognize that such a view point exists? Yes. It's important to always keep yourself aware of different points of view. Don't allow yourself to exist in an echo chamber.

If a piece of media leaves you confused, ask yourself why you're confused about the story. Is it because of the length of the piece? Is it because you don't recognize all of the words the author used? Is it because it's a view point you've never considered before? Or is it because the knowledge was presented in a bad way, making it hard to understand? If so, how could the author have presented it to make it more comprehensible?

Okay okay before this starts sounding like your high school English textbook, let's take a step back. You don't need to get out your college rule notebook and have your pencil at the ready to analyze a book you're reading. You can do it in small and meaningless ways!

If you're at the theater watching a movie, tell your friends what you thought about the movie! Listen to what they thought about the movie! Things like "I liked the story, but that one guy's acting kinda ruined the message" is a totally valid criticism, too. Same thing goes for books and movies! Like, "I really liked this book, but I didn't understand the words the author used in this scene, and it made the story hard to understand."

c. Take Grammar Into Consideration

Okay...this might be kind of an unpopular take when it comes to fan fiction, but grammar does matter. When it comes to short pieces, not using capital letters or commas might not seem like a big deal. However, at a certain point, trying to read something without proper grammar transforms from an innocent writing choice into an incomprehensible mess, especially when you're writing long form documents.

If you're considering writing longer pieces, please take the time to learn the rules of grammar. I promise it will help you get your point across so much smoother! Also, there are many readers who simply won't take a chance on your writing if they see that it's not properly formatted, and then they'll be missing out! Make sure to put your best foot forward for the sake of yourself and to give your readers the story experience they deserve!!

d. Find examples of writing styles you like!

This kind of goes hand in hand with my point about reading. While you're doing your reading, find examples of stories and media that you like the style of! Try to identify characteristics of that style that you're attracted to.

What kind of imagery is there? Is it metaphorical? Is it literal?

Do they use a lot of complex sentences? Maybe they like simple sentences, like getting straight to the point?

What's their tone? Are they blunt? Are they flowery?

When you're doing your own writing, you can try to incorporate these characteristics into your own pieces! Here's an example.

One of my favorite pieces of writing and media is the video game Disco Elysium. It's written so well. I really love the style of the author, specifically how he incorporates personification into his description of objects. I also like how he relies on fairly simple sentences to create visual description. In fact, if you pay close attention to Chapter 12: Glass Cut of Texas Red, you'll probably be able to see the influence from Disco Elysium peeking through my own writing style there!

e. Don't be afraid to sleep on it!

This.

This is my best writing advice.

You can read every book in the library, take every course at your local college on writing, and you'll still sit down one day and write something that you're just not sure about. Is it bad? Is it good? Is it some monstrous type of in-between that you can't even describe?

Fuck if you know.

And that's okay.

Not everything you write will be amazing. But instead of giving up on a piece that's halfway written when you get frustrated, close your computer and re-read what you wrote in the morning. Go do something else, clear your mind, sleep well in the evening, and give it some fresh eyes in the morning!

9 times out of 10 you'll be able to come to a conclusion on it in the morning.

The way I personally like to do it is this: Stare at my word document until I'm about to rip my hair out, slam my laptop closed, go play some mindless game for wayyyyy too long, and then sleep until my alarm physically cannot ring any more obnoxiously. Then, before I do anything else, I'll open my phone and squint through my exhaustion to reread what I wrote.

Idk how to describe it, but somehow, it works like a charm LMAO

-

How would I describe my own writing?

Oh god......this one I actually might not know 💀 anon you've got me

Okay, I guess here's how I would describe my style. It's highly...emotional for me. I think that's how I live my life, and I think my writing reflects that. For example, when you think about description in a novel, you often think of describing how objects and people look. But over the years in my personal life, I've discovered that I really just...don't care about the visuals of a person or place. For me, I rely heavily on how that person or objects makes me feel, not what my opinion on its appearance is.

If you read my story Indigo, you might have noticed that I never truly described what Simon looks like beyond small details of his person. Particular scars that were important to the story, what color his hair was, what clothes he was wearing--those were the only things I ever really described about his appearance, and even then, they were only written into the story when it was important to what was going on.

But, in actuality, Simon's appearance was incredibly important to Indigo. In fact, the entire premise relies on his fixation with his own appearance. But the way that I approached it wasn't from the visual standpoint, but rather his perception of himself, how his appearance made him and other people feel.

Is Simon ugly? Are his scars hideous? Are they so grotesque he should cover his face at all times? Or, even, abstain from love at all costs?

I don't know. I don't care what he looks like. But that's what Simon believes himself to be, that's how he feels, and that defines his perception of the entire world, regardless of what the true visuals of his story actually are.

That's partially why I like the emotional type of writing instead of just visual description, because it doesn't really rely on any objective truth to convey a message. That....and I honestly just don't think about how things look that much lmao

Like, once a friend of mine asked me what my ideal boyfriend looked like and I legit couldn't answer her. Because like??? I don't have an ideal man. I've dated men from all different backgrounds, different heights, different weights, different styles---I just don't really care about someone's body. I care about the feeling they evoke in me.

Texas Red is a bit of a different game though, and there's a story reason for that. Basically, the basis of Jinx and Simon's relationship is physical attraction. It's not emotional in the beginning. Jinx feels weird about Simon, not because he's nice to her, but because she thinks he's hot lmao

All in all, I think I prioritize the emotional experience of it above all else, and that's about the only defining characteristic I can commit to when it comes to my writing lmao

-

And there you have it! A few tips on how I approached my own writing, as well as how you can improve your own! I hope you guys enjoyed my (completely unwarranted) gushing on the subject lmao

Thank you so much to the anon who sent the original request! I hope that this little guide helps you out!

Until next time!

[pookietv]

online embarrassment (part two!) | arthurtv

a dedication to @casualvanilla into bullying me to write a part two :3

being curious about arthur and his seemingly strange occupation choice, in your eyes at least, of commentating 90 day fiance, you decided that you may as well watch a little of the show, seeing if you could see what made it so interesting.

especially since you and him had been talking much more frequently, playing a couple of games of chess together most evenings, over discord calls and instagram messages

and your curiosity had definitely been quashed once you had watched as much as you could stomach of insanely dysfunctional relationships, exploitation and men going for women far too young for them.

so, with your newfound knowledge, you decided to text arthur again.

youruser: why is literally every couple on 90 day fiance either insanely malfunctioning or borderline exploitative

arthurtv: ah, i see you have exposed yourself to the world of discovery+

arthurtv: and in all honesty, that is kind of the grim premise of the show, a kind of strangely twisted curiosity makes us all watch them fall apart

youruser: grim is definitely the word for it

arthurtv: so are you doing anything tonight?

youruser: unfortunately, i have little plans that don't involve reading so many academic journals until my eyeballs fall out :(

arthurtv: i never even asked you what you study?

youruser: oh, i study politics with a focus on international law right now :)

arthurtv: no way! i studied law when i was at uni

youruser: when was that, fifteen years ago?

arthurtv: ha ha very funny i am twenty eight

arthurtv: ps, you're almost as dedicated to your uni work as you are to your outrageous bishop sacrifices

youruser: anyway, are you doing anything tonight?

arthurtv: going round to some of my friends house cause he's forcing us to rewatch the lord of the rings series

arthurtv: though that is fair enough because i have forced him to watch harry potter so many times

youruser: i've never even seen harry potter

arthurtv: WHAT

youruser: oopsie

youruser: just never got round to it

arthurtv: you need to watch it!!!!

youruser: it just doesn't seem like my kind of thing!

arthurtv: we can't be friends anymore smh

youruser: that sounds great! blocking you rn

arthurtv: shut up you

arthurtv: anyway, i had an idea, if you're down

youruser: and what would that idea be

arthurtv: i think we should meet up and play actual chess on an actual chessboard (and maybe drink a few bevs)

youruser: well, i mean, i don't even know if i should be meeting you, after all you are the Insane Chess Killer Man >:)

youruser: and if i didn't know any better, sounds like you're describing a date

arthurtv: hm that's a good point, i was looking for a new victim

youruser: are you referencing the insane chess killing or the date as the victim?

arthurtv: you can't see me but i am rolling my eyes so hard right now

youruser: okay, a truce on the serial killer jokes

arthurtv: thank god. what about tomorrow night?

youruser: drunk chess and a takeaway sounds good to me

youruser: the classiest first date

so that was that, he had texted you his address and to come round at seven so he could, in his words, destroy you in chess.

after a long day at uni and a slight worry, though you didn't know why, about meeting him, you started to get ready to go to his house.

since you were just going to his house, you settled on some flared leggings and a soft blue jumper, tying your hair into a somewhat tamed ponytail before looking in the mirror, making sure your light makeup hadn't smudged too much after a day of back to back lectures and discussion groups.

he didn't live too far from you, surprisingly, just a couple tube stops away, so you decided to walk, about twenty five minutes to his apartment, in a block of flats facing the river thames, and as you arrived at the building and pressed the button in the elevator for his floor, slightly picking at your nails with nerves.

what if it was insanely awkward in person? or what if he is a weird catfish looking for victims on chess websites? that seemed insane, right?

but your mind was working overtime as the buttons lit up and the elevator door opened, and you tried to unfurrow your eyebrows and look for his door number, finding it towards the end of the hall.

you waited a moment before knocking, bringing your hand up and timidly rapping it against the dark wood of the door.

when it swung open, and you saw that he was indeed who he said he was, or at least who he was on his instagram pictures, you smiled a little in relief.

"arthur! hi, it's nice to meet you, well, in person, you know..." you giggled a slight bit quietly as he gave you a friendly hug.

"you too! didn't know if i was just being catfished or something," he joked a little awkwardly back.

"me a catfish? i figured you would be a catfish, what would i even be catfishing you for?" you joked back, and he shrugged.

"i don't know, i don't get many pretty girls randomly texting me cause we played chess together so i wasn't sure," he said a little embarrassed, and your cheeks went slightly pink when he called you pretty.

"well, who knew that the insane chess killer had a hidden talent for flattery," i laughed slightly as he welcomed me in, shutting the door behind me.

he rolled his eyes jokingly, "hey, based on the way you insulted me with no remorse during chess games i was expecting you to be terrifying, so you can't blame me for being surprised at how easy you are on the eyes," he grinned a little, and it was your turn to roll your eyes in return.

"anyway, come in, honestly just make yourself at home... unless you're worried about losing to me on my own turf," he joked.

"i mean, i'm kind of impressed by your 'turf'," you giggled, "it's nice for a guy that exploits reality tv for views," you teased and he laughed a little as he led you to his living room, a chessboard set up on his coffee table, pillows on either side on the floor to sit on.

"hey, low blow," he mockingly warned, "i'd watch it otherwise i'll conveniently lose your queen piece," he said before quickly standing to go to his kitchen, "i have southern comfort and lemonade, if that's okay with you? it's kind of my weird speciality drink," he smiled.

"well, i suppose i'll have to try the arthurtv special then," i nodded in return, and after a few moments, he returned with two glasses, placing them at either side of the table as he sat himself down on the side of the board playing black pieces.

"so we're going straight for the intellectual torture of chess?" you grinned as you sat opposite him, "the girls must find it so charming when you sit straight at the chess board on a date, hm?" you teased in retaliation.

"oh shut up you, and prepare to lose, again," he smiled as you moved your first piece, "at least my view will be nice when i crush you,"

as the game progressed, there was joking smack-talk thrown between you and arthur, neither of you focusing too much on the game but more on the subtle flirting between each move.

"that rook sacrifice was not your best work," he laughed, but you raised your eyebrow at him as you moved another piece,

"or maybe i was setting a trap that you didn't see, hm, mr. television?"

as he captured one of your pieces in return, his fingers gently brushed against yours and you grinned, before swatting his hand jokingly, "hey, focus on the game!" you giggled out as he laughed in return and nodded.

about half way through the game, the focus had shifted slightly from both being heartset on winning to enjoying one another's company, nattering on about arthur's job and your degree.

at one particular point, you stopped, looking down at the board, tongue slightly poking out of your mouth in concentration as your brain worked as quickly as it could, trying to analyse the best move.

"what're you thinking?" he asked as he shuffled slightly closer, and you could smell his cologne, a kind of vanilla and cedarwood scent as you tried your best to ignore it.

"i'm trying to strategise, unlike some of us who rely on distracting the other to win," you teased slightly, and you could hear him chuckle a little.

"i'm plenty distracted myself, hard not to be when you look cute like that when you concentrate so hard."

you paused a little at the flirting, trying not to let your cheeks flush bright red, "stop trying to put me off my game, arthur," you playfully smiled.

once a couple more moves had been played, arthur missed what was seemingly an obvious capture he could have made, which would have put you at a disadvantage, and once you quickly realised and made sure your piece was defended, you tilted your head a little - arthur didn't often make mistakes like that.

"i completely missed that, fuck sake!" he mumbled to himself with a small smile on his face.

after a while longer of playing, and a few moves you didn't think arthur would normally make, you had him in checkmate, a grin on your face.

"looks like we're gonna have to have a rematch at some point," he looked at the board and shrugged his shoulders a little.

you narrowed your eyes at him a little with a small smile, "did you throw the game so we could have a rematch?"

"i think i may use the lawyer lingo here and announce that i refuse to answer on the basis that i may implicate myself," he laughed a little to himself.

[jungkoode]

So... This Is awkward but we need to talk about plagiarism.

*taps microphone nervously* Hi everyone. It's your sleep-deprived disaster Kiki here. This isn't my usual chaotic author note where I scream about Jeon being emotionally constipated. Today we're talking about something more serious: plagiarism in our fanfiction community.

I've spent the last few days in a bizarre twilight zone where I had to defend MY OWN WORK from being copied. Wild, right? Not how I planned to spend my week when I could've been writing smut instead. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

So! The situation.

Multiple readers contacted me about similarities between my fic Kkangpae and another work by Tumblr user jeonluvz called "Project Architect." Initially, I dismissed it. Gang AUs aren't exactly groundbreaking territory and creative overlap happens. But then I actually READ the work in question.

What I found wasn't just shared tropes or general vibes—it was specific, detailed replication of:

- Character assignments (identical roles for multiple BTS members).

- Setting details (down to the card-scanning system in the facility).

- Plot progression (same sequence of events, same turning points).

- Scene-by-scene recreation with only superficial changes.

Now let’s talk about coincidence vs. copying—because I’m a nerd like that.

In academic research on creative plagiarism, experts like Rebecca Moore Howard (Syracuse University) have discussed what's called "patchwriting" (= basically taking specific elements from source material and recombining them with minimal changes). This is different from being inspired by general genre conventions.

(Also, Dr. Thomas Mallon, in his book "Stolen Words," describes the difference between: drawing from the same creative well (using common tropes) and recreating specific unique choices made by another author, btw!)

Now. Let me break down the concrete evidence:

Character assignment and world building.

- Both stories have a division system with coincidental names (Seduction, Stealth, Medical…)

- Both stories feature exactly the same division system with Jeon as Tactical Chief, V as his rival, J-Hope as Medical Chief, Yoongi as Tech Chief, etc.

- Both use identical codename systems (where codenames must be earned).

- Both have the SAME codenames for key characters (Jungkook as "Jeon", Tae as "V").

- Both feature identical hierarchy structures where chiefs are higher-ups.

These aren't generic gang tropes—they're SPECIFIC creative choices I made for Kkangpae. I went through MULTIPLE codenames and hierarchy structures (military, boat system, I have my old scrappy notebook for reference, I’ll pull out the receipts if needed).

Scenes.

- Both begin with the reader sneaking into the empty cafeteria early due to strict serving times (pastries vs croissants btw).

- Both follow with the exact same cafeteria-to-Jeon interaction sequence.

- Both feature a joint training exercise that turns into paintball (ch 4 in my fic).

- Both have rules unexpectedly changed mid-exercise by V/Jeon.

- Both have the reader get separated/left behind and targeted by V.

- Both have the reader injured (ankle in mine, ribs in theirs) followed by Jeon's intervention.

- Both culminate in an identical confrontation between Jeon and V about the training, injury, and past issues.

This isn't coincidental alignment. This is scene-by-scene recreation.

Now, let’s go back to nerd stuff, because that’s just how I am: the statistical IMPOSSIBILITY.

Let's talk math for a sec. The probability of independently creating a story with ALL these specific elements in the SAME sequence is astronomically low. Dr. Mark Glickman, a statistics professor at Harvard, developed models to detect plagiarism that show how unique combinations of elements become statistical fingerprints of original work.

If you randomly selected character roles for 7 BTS members from even just 10 possible roles, the probability of independently matching the exact configuration I created is 1 in 604,800. Add in the identical scene progression, and we're talking lottery-winning odds.

WHAT PLAGIARISM ACTUALLY IS.

Plagiarism isn't limited to word-for-word copying. According to the Modern Language Association and academic integrity researchers, plagiarism includes:

- "Mosaic plagiarism" - taking specific scenes, structures and sequences while changing surface details.

- "Structure plagiarism" - copying the underlying architecture of a creative works.

- "Idea plagiarism" - appropriating unique creative concepts and their specific implementation.

This isn't about "both stories have gangs" or "both use paintball"—it's about the highly specific combination and implementation of these elements in the exact same pattern.

NOW. MY ATTEMPT AT RESOLUTION. I will be attaching SSs too to be fully transparent.

I approached the author privately first, explaining my concerns respectfully. I provided specific examples and suggested solutions like:

- Significant revision to create more originality.

- Acknowledging inspiration from Kkangpae.

- Removing the most directly copied elements.

Their response was to dismiss these concerns without addressing any of the specific examples I provided, claim their work was entirely original, and refuse to engage further.

Fanfiction exists in a unique space. We're all creating derivative works based on our love for BTS. But within this community, we still respect each other's creative contributions. The structure, plot, character dynamics, and unique world-building elements I created for Kkangpae represent hours of planning, writing, and creative energy.

When someone takes those specific creative choices and recreates them with only minimal changes, it devalues the time and effort that went into the original work. It's like copying someone's art and just changing the colors.

I'm not here for drama or to "cancel" anyone. I genuinely believe in resolving creative disputes respectfully. What I'm asking for is:

1. Recognition that specific, extensive similarities exist between these works.

2. Respect for the creative effort that goes into original story concepts, even within fanfiction.

3. Understanding that appropriating another writer's unique fictional framework isn't "just inspiration".

I've documented everything, including my attempts at private resolution, but I'd rather not have to pursue formal actions through DMCA claims.

Finally, to my readers and my writer girlies! 🩷

Thank you for bringing this to my attention and for supporting my work. Also thank you to all my writer girlies who validated my concerns and saw the similarities as well. Your enthusiasm for Kkangpae keeps me motivated even when I keepwondering why I made Jeon so emotionally constipated (the answer is because it's hot, obviously).

I'll still be updating regularly because no way am I letting this derail our journey through the disaster that is Y/N and Jeon's inability to admit they have feelings. The story continues!

Love you all (except Jeon who doesn't deserve rights after the stunt he pulled in the last chapter).

P.S. If you're curious about the academic side of creative plagiarism, I recommend Rebecca Moore Howard's "Standing in the Shadow of Giants" and Thomas Mallon's "Stolen Words" for more information.

[jeankluv]

Birdie | Satoru Gojo - Chapter 01

Words: 4.8k

Summary: You didn’t like him, at all. But due to your bad luck you would have to be forced to work with him and different circumstances end up leading you to the fact that perhaps the word dislike is not the one you use to describe him.

Note: divider art credit _3aem (twt)

Tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball

Slow updates

Materialist | next chapter

Wattpad | ao3

While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as "hate" carried significant weight; rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths.

Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.

“We will divide the project in two.” You said looking at the information the teacher gave you. “So we can work on it separately and once we are done we will put it together.” You didn’t like the idea but you disliked even more the idea of spending time outside the class with him.

“That wouldn’t work out, it’s better if we schedule a time to meet and we start working on it.” Gojo talked.

“No.” You said. “I’m way too busy to think about meeting outside of classes.” And it was true, you were working in two different jobs to pay the bills of college and the tiny apartment you were staying on.

“Oh c’mon!” He pouted. “It’s impossible that you are busy every day of the week at every hour.”

“Well I am.” You were starting to get angry, couldn’t he understand you didn’t want to meet with him.

The ring rang and you thanked it, it was time to leave for another class, one you wouldn’t have to see the perfect face of Satoru Gojo.

“Wait! How do we stay in contact?” Gojo spoke when you were about to leave the classroom. You could feel the gaze of a group of girl right on your neck.

“With the email.”

“C’mon.” He said your name. “Give me your number.”

“No and now leave me. I need to get to my class.”

You walked past the group of girls that were chatting obviously about the scene that just happened.

“How can she be so rude with Satoru?”

“Yeah who does she think she is? Does she even know who Satoru is?”

“She is such a loser.”

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Of course, you were well aware of who he was - everyone knew him. A pampered child from a wealthy family, born into privilege and affluence, often referred to as an “old money baby”. He had everything handed to him on a silver platter - impeccable looks, tall, athletic, and intelligence. For many, he embodied the epitome of perfection. However, for you, he was nothing more than an insufferable jerk whom you couldn't stand.

On the flip side, you were the complete opposite of him. Life hadn't dealt you a fair hand - you struggled to make ends meet. When your mother passed away when you were just six, and your father vanished after hearing news of her pregnancy. Left with no one but your grandmother, you found solace in her loving care. However, as time marched on, you were once again confronted with loneliness when she passed away when you were just 16. With only a meager inheritance from your grandmother and the income from your job at a local store, you barely scraped by until the age of 18. Thankfully, your relentless dedication to your studies paid off when you earned a scholarship to attend the University of Tokyo.

Even though you got into a good college on the degree you wanted, your life in Tokyo hasn’t been quite easy. You were living in a tiny apartment, going to college and working two jobs because it would be impossible to make it to the end of the month with just one job. Luckily, the scholarship covered all my college expenses, but living in Tokyo wasn't exactly easy on the wallet. I found myself navigating life in the bustling city all on my own.

But your aversion towards Gojo Satoru began two years ago, on the first day of college. Rushing late after exhausting yourself at work, you collided with him, causing you to stumble to the ground. Prepared to offer an apology, you were met with his irate ranting, delivered without even a glance in your direction. Had you not been humiliated on the ground, you might have slapped some sense into him right then and there. Why was he so infuriated when he was clearly the one at fault? And the fact that he couldn't even look at you added insult to injury. Frustrated and embarrassed, you left before he could utter another word; you had no desire to hear anything further from him.

The true agony hit when you discovered he would be sharing classes with you. From then on, you made every effort to steer clear of him and his foolishness. However, it seemed everyone in your class, and even in other majors, adored him. The teachers showered him with praise because everything he touched turned to gold. Despite being at the university for two years, you had never managed to outperform his grades, and it infuriated you beyond measure.

For the past two years, you had been lucky enough to avoid partnering with him. However, it appeared that luck had finally abandoned you, and now you were destined to endure his company for the next three months.

You sat on the seat you would normally choose and took out the notebook to take notes of the next class.

“I heard you got assigned with Satoru Gojo in one of your classes.” You heard a voice next to you which made you jump.

“Kyoko… don’t scare me like that.” You cried while putting your hand on your chest trying to calm down. “How did you find out?”

“Well, everyone was talking about how a girl who got paired with the great Satoru Gojo was so rude to him and how she should be more grateful for this glorious opportunity.” You rolled your eyes.

“I might throw myself out of the window…” You leaned your head against the table and closed your eyes. “Three months Kyoko, three months.”

“I know…you know that you can talk to me if he does anything to bother you.”

“Thank you, you’re the best Kyoko.”

She smiled warmly at you, and together you turned your attention to the class. You had met Kyoko on the same day as your initial encounter with Gojo Satoru. Sitting together in one of the classes, an instant connection formed between you two, and from that moment onward, you were inseparable. Kyoko brought a brightness into your life like a ray of sunshine piercing through clouds. On the first Christmas when she discovered you would be spending it alone in your apartment, she whisked you away to her home, where you celebrated with her and her parents. Since then, Kyoko's parents had filled the void of the parents you had dearly missed, and Kyoko herself had become the sister you had always longed for.

The class was over before you knew it. Your hands hurt after taking notes non-stop and your head felt like it was about to explode after barely sleeping last night.

“Do you have time to eat with me? Or you have to go to the grocery store already?” Kyoko stood besides you while walking in the corridor.

“Today I can eat with you. My shift doesn’t start until 3 p.m. so it’s alright.”

Kyoko looked at you with concerned eyes. “Are you sure you are properly resting? You look tired and the grocery store job is okay, but I’m worried about you working on that bar at nights.”

You sighed, she was right the bar was an unpleasant place, most of those who went were men in their 40s or 50s who left their offices and spent the night drinking until they fell at the bar counter, while making obscene comments. But they paid well and the money was something I desperately needed.

You smiled at her. “I will be alright. Don’t worry.”

“You know you can always come to life with me, I know my parents wouldn’t bother taking you in. And if you feel like it would be too much, you could always pay something but then you could quit that crappy job and just work at the grocery store.”

“Kyoko… we already talked about it. I appreciate you and your parents' good heart and intentions but I can handle everything.” She nodded. “And I know I can always count on you.”

“Always.” And she held you from the arm. “Now let’s go and eat something. My treat.” You were about to protest when Kyoko cut you off. “No excuses, you deserve me to invite you especially because my poor best friend is going to have to put up with her least favorite person in the world for three months.”

“Ugh!” You rolled your eyes. “Please don’t remind me of that.”

Both of you laughed and made your way straight to the cafeteria, your stomachs growling with hunger. You had only managed to gulp down a coffee that morning to wake up, and now you were convinced you could devour the entire menu. Taking your usual seats at the table, Kyoko headed to order your food. The cafeteria buzzed with activity, students weaving in and out while conversations filled the air. You glanced at your phone, hoping for some notifications, but all you found were promotional emails from the supermarket.

Kyoko returned with the food, setting it down in front of you, and you delved into a conversation about Kyoko's recent date. It seemed the boy had shown a keen interest in her, but your friend hadn't felt the same way about him. Being the kind-hearted person she was, Kyoko struggled with how to gently let him know she wasn't interested in continuing to see him.

“Oh shit…” Kyoko whispered.

“What?”

“Don’t turn around but I think a certain someone is coming here.” Your eyebrow arched and you clenched your fists.

“Tell me that the certain someone doesn’t have white hair…” Kyoko grimaced and by the time you wanted to say something, the person responsible for your headache at that very moment had sat down next to you.

“Hello ladies!!” He talked with the happiest tone. He called your name but you ignored him, you didn’t want to interact with him, not even a bit. “I don’t think we know each other. I’m Satoru Gojo.” He talked to Kyoko.

“Kyoko. And we actually share a class together.”

“Oh! We do? Sorry I can’t remember it. But it is nice to meet you, Kyoko.”

“Satoru…” Another male voice spoke behind you. Your head was really going to explode.

“Oh Suguru! Come here!” He moved his hand, pointing at the seat next to Kyoko.

“Satoru… why don’t you leave the girls eating alone.” The boy of dark hair looked at his friend and then at both of you. “I'm sorry for bothering you.”

“It’s okay, don't worry.” Kyoko smiled back at him.

“Come on Suguru! Let’s eat with them… I need to spend more time with my classmate, right birdie?” You looked at him.

“Who are you calling birdie?” You were angry, why was he giving you nicknames like you have known each other for years or like you were close.

“Oh so now you pay attention to me…” He smirked and tilted his head as he rested it on his hand and looked at you.

You snorted and pushed the plate away. “Kyoko, I have to go or I'll be late.” You said goodbye to Gojo's friend, who you assumed was called Suguru, and ignored Gojo.

“Take care.” You heard Kyoko. “And sent me a message once you arrived home from the bar!” You gave her a thumbs up and left the cafeteria.

You felt uneasy. What was Gojo Satoru playing at, giving you a nickname? And that look he just gave you—what was that about? You couldn't stand it. Sinking into your seat on the bus, you put on your headphones, seeking a brief respite before reaching your workplace. You were scheduled to work for five hours, followed by a rush to the bar, where you'd likely be working until 2 a.m., if luck was on your side.

As your eyelids grew heavy, you recognized the familiar streets passing by. With just a few stops left until your destination, you stretched out in your seat and rubbed your eyes, trying to shake off the fatigue.

You got out of the bus and walked a few steps until you reached the small grocery store where you work. You still had 5 minutes left to work but between changing and preparing everything the time would arrive. You greeted Yu who was behind the counter serving a customer and went to the employee room at the back.

“You are early.” Haibara entered the room.

“I’m 5 minutes earlier… is not THAT early.” You smiled at him.

“You know you can always take the day off and rest. I can cover you if you need it, you look so tired.”

“I’m okay but thank you Haibara.”

“Okay! Then if you are taking my place I will get going. A friend of mine is waiting for me.” You nodded. “Call me if you need anything.”

You waved goodbye to him and observed as he rendezvoused with a tall blonde guy outside the store, someone you vaguely recognized from campus. Throughout the afternoon, several children trickled in to purchase trinkets, occasionally accompanied by adults picking up a few items. The day had been relatively quiet, affording you the opportunity to jot down some notes and review your studies.

As closing time approached, the sliding door chimed open once more, signaling the arrival of another customer. However, you were preoccupied assisting a lady who was meticulously counting the coins needed to pay for her purchase.

“Thank you so much darling.” She said once you were done with her. “Have a nice night.”

“Thanks to you! And please come here again.”

“Hello birdie!” Your mouth opened slightly when you saw who was waiting to be served and the last customer of the day.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You screamed angrily.

He looked down and moved the bottle he was holding. “Buying something to drink.” He smiled, showing his perfect smile.

“Here?” He nodded. “In this grocery store?” He nodded again. “Of this unknown neighborhood?” He nodded once again. “Gojo…” You touched your head, closing your eyes. “I don’t know what you want or your intentions but don’t you dare bother me anymore.”

“I already told you birdie I’m here, to buy this.” He put the bottle in front of you.

“There you have it. Now, bye.” You turned around and started cleaning some things that were around. It was time to close and you needed to hurry up to got to the bar.

You picked up and changed into the clothes you had come in. For a moment you had to lean against the wall, for an hour or so you had been dizzy and nauseous, but you couldn't allow yourself to be absent. You turned off the lights and closed the grocery store.

“What are you still doing here?” You turned around to look at Gojo who was right in front of the shop.

He walked smiling towards you. “Waiting for you.”

You rolled your eyes, couldn’t he understand you or something. “Well, I don’t want you to be waiting for me. So now… BYE!” And you started moving towards the bar.

“Oh c’mon.” He said your name this time. “Let me accompany you to your house or at least near it. It’s not good for a girl to…”

“Are you a stalker?” Gojo opened his mouth. “And I’m not going home, I need to get to work and because of you I might be late.”

“Work? But you just get out of it.” He walked next to you. “Why would you have two works…”

“Listen Gojo! Not everyone is born on a silver spoon. Some of us have to work our asses out to get the things we want.” You were tired. “You are lucky your parents probably get you everything they want for you but not everyone is that lucky.”

“You’re pale. Are you okay?” You certainly weren’t, but you couldn't afford to be, you had to go to work. “Oh shit! You might have a fever.” His hand was on your forehead, wait when did he get that close?

“Leave me…” Everything was spinning around.

“Hey!” You felt how Gojo held you, preventing you from falling to the ground, and then everything went black.

You weren't certain how long you had been unconscious, but it was certainly for a considerable amount of time. As you blinked your eyes open, you found yourself surrounded by darkness, with only a faint glow of outside light seeping into the room. Despite the dimness, you were able to swiftly recognize your surroundings. You were in Kyoko's room, but how had you ended up there? The last memory you could recall was being with Gojo before blacking out.

“Kyoko?” You whispered. You were confused and still feeling sick.

You saw how a silhouette moved to grab something from the table and then a light from the cell phone illuminated the room.

Kyoko whispered your name. “How are you feeling?”

“Still dizzy…” You touched your head. “How did I get here?”

“Satoru called me.” You looked at her confused, since when she called him Satoru and since when did she have his number. “Don’t look at me like that, when you left I stayed with him and with his friend, Suguru and they are pretty nice guys.” You rolled your eyes. “And his friend is pretty cute.”

“Kyoko…”

“What? It’s true, he was so polite and nice and did you know he studies…”

“Do you like him?”

“I mean… it’s early to say that but I would love to go out with him sometime.” Your friend smiled.

“You remember that there is a guy still waiting for an answer from you right?”

Kyoko pouted. “I know… I will let him know I’m not interested, because it’s true I’m not.”

“Good…”

“But now to what is important.” Oh here it came. “What would you have done if Satoru wasn’t there when you fainted?”

“I… it was just a coincidence. I was totally find this morning.”

Kyoko said your name heavily. “How much have you slept this week? And be honest with me.”

You thought for a moment. “5 hours…”

“That’s not bad, I thought you were going to say something like 2 hours.”

“In the last 3 days…”

Kyoko opened her mouth, letting a gasp out. “Are you insane? You want to die or something?”

“Sorry! But college and the jobs… the jobs, my shift on the bar…”

“Relax. I called them and told them you were sick after Satoru called me.” You breathed in relief. “But don’t try to change the topic. 5 hours in 3 days?! That’s inhuman and you can’t keep going like this.”

“And what do I do Kyoko?” You pulled the sheets up to your face.

“Stay here… we have a spare room, you can stay there.” You growled, Kyoko knew that was too much. Even if you were her best friend, you were still someone from outside the family. “You can pay a minimum if that will make you feel better, but if you stay here you wouldn’t have to pay the rent you are paying right now and you wouldn’t have to work at that shitty bar.”

“I… I will think about it okay…” Kyoko nodded.

“Now go back to sleep.”

“Okay…” You closed your eyes.

“And by the way.” Kyoko spoke again. “Start thinking what you are going to say to Satoru, you throw up on him.”

“I… WHAT?” Your eyes opened like plates.

“Good night~”

“No Kyoko, tell me! What do you mean I threw up on Gojo?” You cried.

“Go to sleep.”

You groaned, feeling utterly mortified at the thought of having thrown up on Gojo. This was beyond embarrassing—how were you supposed to face him and apologize for such a humiliating incident? The desire to vanish into thin air consumed you. Your head spun with the aftermath of the situation, and before you knew it, you had drifted off to sleep.

Upon waking up again, you sensed that several hours had passed; sunlight now flooded through the window, illuminating the room entirely. Kyoko was nowhere to be seen, and you sat up in bed, stretching your stiff body. You felt utterly filthy after experiencing fever and vomiting; a shower was desperately needed.

Searching for your phone to check the time, you discovered several messages awaiting your attention—some from Kyoko and others from an unknown number.

Kyoko ☀️

Rest as much as you want. My mom left you food prepared in the kitchen but you will be alone for most of the day.

You can take my clothes if you want.

And don’t worry about the classes I will take the notes for you.

And by the way, I’m sorry and I love you 😘

Sorry? For what? You tapped on the unknown number and then you understood why she was sorry.

xxxx

Hellooooo birdie !!

Kyoko gave me your number, don’t get angry at her.

I hope you feel better soon

You clenched your fists and sighed, now you would have to endure it because of your cell phone too.

You to Kyoko ☀️

You should be grateful I love you so much and I won’t kill you.

And thanks, I will be taking a shower and do you mind if I take one of your pajamas?

Kyoko ☀️

Everything that’s mine is yours 😘

You rolled your eyes at your friend. And opened once again the chat of Gojo. How should you respond to him? Should you apologize for throwing up at him? Should you just be as cold as always? The guy was messaging you after you fainted and threw up on him, he didn’t deserve to be treated coldly although you wanted to.

You to Pain in the ass

Hi. I’m good

Thanks for yesterday and sorry for what happened…

Also stop calling me birdie, people would think we are close or something

Leaving your phone on the table, you grabbed one of Kyoko's pajamas and made your way to the bathroom. Compared to a few hours ago, you felt significantly better; the fever seemed to have subsided or at least diminished in intensity. After a refreshing shower, you changed into the pajamas and headed to the kitchen.

True to Kyoko's word, her mother had left a plate of food prepared for you. Grateful for the gesture, you sat down to enjoy the meal. Retrieving your phone once more, you noticed two notifications, which came as a surprise—they were not the usual supermarket offers.

Pain in the ass

Don’t worry about it, I’m glad to hear you are okay

*This message was deleted*

What did he send and delete after?

Pain in the ass

Since you are sick we decided to accompany Kyoko for lunch!

And there was a picture of Kyoko with Gojo and two other people, the guy from yesterday, Suguru and another girl you didn’t know about. Kyoko was smiling and doing the peace sign next to Suguru, while Gojo was the one taking the selfie and showing off his perfect teeth.

You to Pain in the ass

You better treat Kyoko right, or you will hear from me once I’m back at class.

It was hard to believe you were talking so casually with him. You shook your head, talking like that on the phone was just a way of being polite with him, nothing else.

Pain in the ass

If that way I get you to talk to me

You stayed looking at the message for a couple of minutes. Something on your stomach was moving. Stupid Satoru Gojo.

You to Pain in the ass

By the way, do I need to pay you something… for you know…

Pain in the ass

For what?

You to Pain in the ass

Don’t make me say it, it’s way too embarrassing.

Pain in the ass

If you don’t tell me what I won’t know 🤷

You to Pain in the ass

Throwing up on you!

Do I need to pay for something? Like dry cleaning or something?

Pain in the ass

Hehe

You wanted to punch him, he obviously knew.

Pain in the ass

Nop, you don’t need to pay anything. Don’t worry 😉

You to Pain in the ass

Okay, now I will leave to sleep

Don’t bother me Gojo!

Pain in the ass

Alright birdie!!

Rest well. I don’t want you throwing up and fainting in the arms of other people

You to Pain in the ass

Say something like that again and I’m blocking you

Pain in the ass

🥺

You rolled your eyes and left the phone once again. He really was a pain in the ass. You went to Kyoko’s room and lay down on her bed, although you were feeling better, you were still feeling tired, so you decided to sleep for a bit more, at least until Kyoko returned home.

You heard a door close and someone walk down the hall in silence. You knew it was Kyoko when she entered the room. She walked up to you and you smiled at her when your eyes met.

“You look better.”

“I feel better.” You say stretching on yourself. “I feel like I have slept everything I haven’t slept in a month.” You looked at Kyoko and she was doing a grimace of disgust. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Have you thought about it? About moving here?”

You did. You thought about it a lot, but you couldn't deny that you were at a point where if you continued at that pace you would end up killing yourself.

“I will.” Kyoko screamed with happiness. “But only if your parents are okay with it.”

“And they are! Don’t worry.” She started clapping and jumped out of bed with happiness. “By the way, I’m surprised you met Satoru yesterday at the grocery store.”

You looked at her strangely. “Didn't you tell her where she worked?” Kyoko shook her head.

And then it hit you, you haven't told Haibara that you would not be going to work today, he would probably be covering for you and you would have to tell him.

“Shit… Where is my phone?” You looked around.

“Who is Pain in the ass?” Kyoko hang you the phone.

“It’s Gojo…” She nodded while you searched for the number of Haibara on your phone. “Haibara!” You said when you heard him picking up. “Yeah it’s me… I’m so sorry, I’m sick and I couldn’t go today… I hope you-” Kyoko looked at you when felt silent. “What do you mean you already knew? Who told you?” Kyoko watched you with interest trying something of what was said on the other end of the phone. “Oh… okay. I will thank him then… Yeah. Bye.” And you throw the phone to the side.

“What’s with that face?”

“Gojo Satoru told my coworker I was sick.”

“That’s pretty considerate.”

“They are friends…”

“Who?”

“My coworker and Gojo, that’s why he appeared there.” You realized. “Probably Haibara told him and he came to bother.”

Kyoko called your name and you looked at her. “I don’t think he went to bother you…”

“Well… but it’s strange he went all the way to that place! Why would he go if it wasn’t to bother me?”

Your best friend sighed and closed her eyes, whispering something you could not hear and then looked back at you. “Thanks he was there. Or who knows what would have happened to you.”

You rolled your eyes. “You are right. And I already thanked him.”

“Oh you did?”

“Don’t act surprised when you were the one that gave him my number.”

She put her hands in the air and smiled. “Sorry. But he was really, REALLY insistent…”

“I can imagine.”

“He sent you a message right? What did he say?”

You took the phone and unlocked it to see the message that Gojo sent you.

Pain in the ass

I'll save you place next to me in class for tomorrow 🙆

What’s up with him?

“Oh…” Kyoko smiled next to you.

“What?”

“Nothing… figure it out yourself baby.” She smiled.

“Kyoko… Kyoko, what did that oh ment, come back here.” You followed her through the corridor while she laughed.

“No.” She continued laughing. “Oh!” She stopped walking and turned to look at you. “I already sent a message to the guy.”

“Finally.”

“Yeah…”

“You? Are you really going to try and go out with Gojo’s friend?”

She shrugged and smiled. The fact that Kyoko started dating Gojo's friend didn't particularly bother you, but it did mean potentially spending even more time with Gojo than you had anticipated. The mere thought made your head ache again. However, before dealing with that, you needed to figure out how to face Satoru Gojo tomorrow. It would mark the first encounter since... that incident.

Note: a comment and a like would be appreciated. Also comment to be tagged in the chapters

Tag list: @crybabytoru, @sanriosatoru, @norvacaine, @sadmonke

[scoobydoodean]

so i’ve always been annoyed by the belief that “sam and dean are toxically co-dependent, especially dean!” like it just baffles me once i remember all the times they’ve been apart without one of them being dead (and actually including post swan song to an extent), but i’ve never been able to properly articulate why i think dean at least isn’t really co-dependent on sam. like there’s a difference between being (co)dependent on somebody and dean’s parentification right? thanks!

I'll preface this by saying I am not a medical professional nor have I studied academic literature on codependency in great detail. That said, "codependency" is usually just a buzzword used colloquially to describe people who are obsessed with each other anyway. I address the colloquial use and how Sam is much more unhinged here. I'm guessing the colloquial use is really more what you mean, but if you're looking for something different or a little more specific than that, I can probably write or point you to some other things I've written if you give me something more specific to go on.

That said, there is something about the way fandom talks about "codependency" between Sam and Dean that bothers me, and I think by reading around about codependency today after I got this ask, and finding out that this term is controversial among mental health professionals as well... I finally figured out why.

I think to a lot of people, "codependent" has become synonymous with words like "needy" and "suffocating". However, the WebMD type articles I started with, suggest that the partner of the codependent party is the one whose needs seem to constantly overshadow and outweigh the needs of the codependent partner in the relationship. While the codependent partner can exhibit negative behaviors, the primary problem of the codependent party is that in being a caretaker, they can lose all sense of their identity and boundaries, and don't know who they are outside of being a caretaker for others. However, this is a more modern take on the term. Because these articles I started with mentioned academic controversy, I then found a few academic papers to skim, and this proved to be even more helpful in understanding why I... don't like this term very much.

First, the historical origins of it are... off-putting. The term "codependency" first emerged in academic literature in the 1940s to describe wives with alcoholic husbands who behave as "enablers" [1, 2]. I probably don't have to point out how different things were for women back then, and how rampantly sexist that context makes this first wave of literature sound, but it's discussed extensively in this article. Second, there is more stigma associated with the term partly because Alcoholics Anonymous (shocking /s) latched onto it starting in the 60s and 70s:

The influence of the AA culture in shaping the concept of codependency as an illness offered the idea that people who were close to the substance user were themselves suffering from an illness (O’Briean and Gaborit 1992). These people were viewed as enablers and coalcoholics (Cotton 1979). [ 1 ]

I... think I am probably not the only one who finds that utterly rancid to read (some academics writing on the subject certainly seem to):

According to Gus Napier, a noted family therapist, it is "ridiculous" to label codependency as a disease, because it is a culturally conditioned response of an overfunctioning person in relationship with an underfunctioning person (Meacham, 1990-1991). [2]

Some researchers who have pushed the term "codependency" as a diagnosis have actually suggested that literally anyone who is living with someone with an addiction should be called co-dependent by definition, regardless of any behavior they may exhibit, which tells you a lot about the lack of consensus and how meaningless the term can be [2]. The term (especially within the disease model where codependency itself is a from of addiction) has been criticized by many researchers for the misogyny through which the term originated, for unproductive negative labeling and pathologizing of people (especially women) dealing with incredibly difficult situations with their loved ones, for victim-blaming people (especially women stuck in abusive relationships) for the actions of their partners, for tangentially—negative stereotyping about people with serious addictions, and for conflating addiction with interpersonal problems, and in the extreme case—for suggesting separation from ones family is the solution to addiction and supporting someone with an addiction somehow always enables them [1, 2].

Since the original stream of literature related to addiction, codependency has rebranded and expanded into literature on family experiences with abuse and mental and physical illness. Which is where we get articles like this one I already linked. The codependent party is still a caretaker in these settings, caring for the needs of a loved one who is ill. Still, "codependency" is not an official medical diagnosis (i.e. not in the DSM-5). It's a term that has been used in academic literature by mental health professionals, when trying to describe a range of behaviors within dysfunctional families. These researchers do not agree on the term's meaning or on whether it even is or should be a diagnosis. Many are interested in it only from an interpersonal or personality perspective, which is also where we should stick.

Taking all of this into account though, I think the very first thing we have to ask ourselves is what exactly we get out of using the term "co-dependency" to describe Sam and/or Dean when the term doesn't even really have an agreed-upon meaning. Is the intention to write interesting character analysis, or is the intention to glorify or criticize using a term that has historically stigmatized understandable human reactions to troubled family situations? I think the goal has perhaps too often been the latter.

That said, I've already been referencing it, but I think this article does a good job of summarizing much of the literature, and then actually focusing on people who do choose, of their own accord, to identify with the term "codependent" because it is helpful for them in understanding their own lived experience and their patterns within relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to explore this as it relates to Sam and Dean with the right motivations. If you read the accounts of the respondents who choose to identify with the term, you'll see shades of Sam and Dean I think (I have written something pretty close to the chameleon-self about season 1 Dean, and I can apply that one to Sam too through his attempts to fit in at Stanford). When it comes to my experience with these characters however, I just don't find that I personally see any value in analyzing Sam and Dean through the word "codependent" given it's lack of agreed-upon meaning professionally and colloquially.

It seems to me that the term itself leads to more confusing conversations instead of less confusing ones because of the lack of clear definition, and the potential for negative stereotyping instead of actual edifying analysis is extremely off-putting to me. It just doesn't do anything for me personally. The issues to which it relates I think are interesting (especially parentification which is a term I do find useful), and I think criticisms leveled against the term are also useful to read in understanding ones own struggles with how fandom tends to frame Dean as a caretaker who they believe is actually somehow responsible for everyone else's decisions. But I think that perhaps I prefer words and concepts that are better defined than the muddiness of the term "codependent".

Lastly: Even if I'm not a particular fan of the term, the fact is that the actual show uses the term twice—in season 5 (shoutout to butch--dean's transcript search engine). Once in 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" (to Dean):

DR. FULLER Well, to be frank, uh, the relationship that you have with your brother seems dangerously codependent. I think a little time apart will do you both good.

First, this dude doesn't really know what's going on and thinks Sam and Dean are having delusions. However, in season 5, Sam's experience with demon blood is repeatedly paralleled with drug or alcohol addiction, and Sam is someone for whom Dean has been made to feel responsible for most of his life. This episode addresses Dean's overly burdensome responsibilities in other ways and it's also come up in the past in 1.12, 2.09, 2.10, and 4.05. I prefer to discuss this theme with much more specific terms. In this case, I would say Dean has an "overactive sense of responsibility to others", originating first with his childhood experiences with parentification. Sam also has a tendency to try and make Dean shoulder responsibility for his decisions when they backfire, and does so multiple times related to the demon blood (4.04, 4.21, 5.05). Cas and Zachariah also both blame Dean for Sam breaking the last seal because he didn't stop him in time (5.01, 5.02) and Bobby criticizes how Dean responds to Sam's addiction (4.22).

And then again in 5.18 "Point of No Return", specifically when Zachariah (my favorite manipulative angel) tries to get Adam to be on his side by basically calling Sam and Dean creepy incestuous weirdos:

ZACHARIAH So you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?

This one honestly to me is just Zachariah doing Zachariah things. I'll reach these episodes on my rewatch fairly soon though, so we'll see if I end up talking about it more then.

Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F. et al. The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int J Ment Health Addiction 18, 754–771 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8

Anderson, S. C. (1994). A Critical Analysis of the Concept of Codependency. Social Work, 39(6), 677–685. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23717128

[talenlee]

Decemberween 2024 — My Players

You know who you are, if you’re reading this.

I am a big fan and advocate for 4th edition Dungeons & Dragons, for the simple and objectively true reason that it is the best version of Dungeons & Dragons that exists. It is the version of this iconic game that enables new players, tactical play, and a consistent, even player power level that still lets players do cool things they want to do. Based on this, it is the game I think that you should always start with if you want to introduce a new player to the most generic platform for tabletop games.

Anyway, I haven’t run 4th edition D&D in about a year. My play group hasn’t been happening.

I have instead been running Blades in the Dark now for about four months for a group that includes at least one player who’s never played TTRPGs before.

If you’re not familiar with Blades in the Dark, oh there’s my link to my review of I’ve written about it, oh and things that are built off it that I also like and even contributed to, oh and here’s me comparing another game to it as a failure, never mind. I think it’s reasonably clear that this is one of my favourite TTRPG systems, for entirely personal reasons. I mean one of the things I love about this game is that the book is nice to hold in the hand, which I could use as the underpinnings of a 2,000 word academic article about interface design or I could just be as honest and say it satisfies me to hold it.

Blades in the Dark struck me as the place to start because it meant that I could hande the pdf to my players and know that they had 100% of the information they needed to play the game and we were all working off the same, public information. This occurred to me as a nice way to ease the experience since I knew I was dealing with more than one neurodivergent player. Blades in the Dark is also very flexible; when players engage with the game, I can reassure them that there’s a lot of power in their hands, that they get to make choices and demands and my job is to adjudicate and illuminate around the, not to present their choices to them.

Blades in the Dark also parcels up player time in really handy chunks; there are scores, there are downtimes, and because the game splits things up like this, a player can drop in or drop out of it easily. That meant that if I set up a game using this system, players could drop in or drop out very easily, and the game would handle the presence or absence of characters, without needing excuses or reasons for why a character wouldn’t be present in the narrative.

Also, Fox, who is playing in the game, she made us a Virtual Tabletop. Now, when I read this to her she’s going to point out that hey, hey, she didn’t make it from scratch, there was already a thing that she built it from or she ‘just’ updated something to make it viable for us, which I appreciate but it’s also silly as hell because just because you bought the table from Ikea doesn’t mean you’re not the person who made it in our living room.

I used Discord for this. I made a Discord, set it to a community discord, and that gave me access to the forum tools. Then, I could set up the forums, where one set of forums were for the players. Each player could make a forum thread for their character, to keep notes, ask questions, put lore, images, that kind of thing. On my side of things I set up a forum of world stuff, where I could put districts, gangs, that kind of thing.

Okay, but this is just describing things around the Decemberween Thing. Right? Like this is a Decemberween article, I’m meant to be using this as an opportunity to tell you about stuff you can watch or listen to, right? Is this promoting an Actual Play or something?

Kinda.

Or rather, I’m trying to promote you, personally, starting your own TTRPG group, with any TTRPG you like, on discord, or whatever, and play with your friends, because that social experience rules. It is the highlight of my week, to show up with my friends, using a Google Spreadsheet to manage my locations and factions and all that, a dice roller program, and the joy of listening to and sharing with my friends. We even have our own strategy examples for doing great at this game, which is, you just roll sixes.

This is what I recommend. I think you should start this kind of thing up. I think you should, if you like TTRPGs, start a group. Ask some friends. You know how many friends you need to try out TTRPGs? One. You can just pick one friend, pick any of the free games, even the GMless ones, and see how you like telling stories together.

And…

I have world information.

I have world building for the setting I made to put this game in. I have this space which is a sort of alt-history, Victorian whalepunk, island country, modelled on Australia, the Phillippines and New Zealand. It has gangs and factions and it has a system for police districts. It has a world deepened by the players’ creations and their contacts and friends and it’s so cool and at least, right now, at least right here, I’m not writing about it, or sharing it with you. Not to be rude to you, not because I don’t trust you or don’t want to brag about how cool my players are!

But because not everything I make becomes part of this blog.

It’s a balancing act: On the one hand, I want to make sure you know that what I do is demystified. Nothing I do is hard, nothing I do is done because I am special and better and able to do things you can’t. On the other hand, these players aren’t here to be Media that I Produce for an Audience. Maybe we’ll all decide sometime in the future to make this as shareable content, maybe letters or missives from the world. Maybe I’ll put together a dossier about the world, its gangs and the lore, so you can use it to run a game yourself, if you like.

Here, though? Decemberween?

I want to highlight that my players are incredible.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[annieversary3]

frerdy fasbear ? do you agree

many words have been said regarding the topic of frerdy fasbear. to jump into a discussion on the subject without first aknowledging their significance and contributions to the past, present, and dare i say future of the frerdy fasbear discussion, would be tantamount to a crime, which i would not dare commit for fear of retaliation from my friends and family. so to begin to even answer and or reply, to even think of preparing a response, or to even follow the train of thought guided by and generated from a question such as this one, without giving proper thought and adequate consideration to the scholars, scientists, and philosophers that have come before us, would be cause for ethical concerns. i will not partake in such a manner of academic indecency, so in order to correctly form a response to this tumbler ask, let us first ponder, analyse, and understand the words of those that have come before us. it is in such an act that we pay respects to the great minds that form the pillars on which we stand today. so let us begin by studying these profound words, in which we shall find the tools to construct a valid and adequate response to this question. personally i have and continue to be deeply inspired by the ouvre of mr. iplier, from whom i have learned many a subjects, and who's works have greatly and directly impacted my own. his achievements on this field of academic study have been a huge source of encouragement, as they could without controversy or argument be called the fundamental works which allow us to even ask this question today. in particular, in his seminal essay published on the 12th of august, 2014, mr iplier begins with the known and critically acclaimed phrase "hello everybody, my name is mark iplier". what else can be said about such a fundamental piece of lyricism that hasnt already been said before by scholars of yore? it is a deeply impactful word composition, readying us and preparing our minds for what comes next: "and welcome to five night s at fredys". utterly spectacular. if i am to be allowed a slight shift in tone into the personal, i would like the record to show that these words have been ingrained in my mind since the first minute i heard them. how else can they be described? how can a mortal mind generate such a sentence? this is the basis of this crucial work, which has gone on to inspire countless of scholars and academics, and will undoubtedly keep on doing so for years to come. it is on shoulders of giants that i can stand here today to answer this (seemingly) simple and minor question. but peeling the hidden layers we can reaveal a complex and interconnected network of topics, subjects, and efforts which brings into question the answerability of the proposed topic of this essay. of course, we wouldnt be sitting here right now if the answer were a simple "no". therefore, we can reason that the response we look for is indeed more complex, and full of depth. for us to construct this reply we so desire, i would propose we look inward into our very souls. you, the reader, i would suggest do the same. those soulless in the audience tonight i would recommend look to the person on their right, who will most definitely have a spare one. once this has been dealt with, and with the due and necessary interpolations taken care of, we can truly begin to answer this question which has plagued generations past. in this essay we will leave out of consideration the hidden, nested question of whether even asking such an inquiry should be performed on an open forum as this. we will assume that the answer is yes, of course, as science and knowledge should be shared openly and without restrictions. it is for this reason and with great conviction, that the author proposes a complete eradication of the concept of copyright, and encourages science magazines to freely and easily share all the papers they contain, as it is though sharing that we show our care and affection for others. it is thanks to mr iplier's freely shared work that we are sitting here today discussing, thinking, introspecting. had he not

openly shared his endeavours with the world, asking such a question today would have been completely worthless. but he did openly share, and so we stand with this question in hand. so finally and without delay, when it comes to the topic of answering this question, this author would like to make it clear and understood that it's reply is: "uhhh yeah i guess i would have to agree"

[thewitcheslist]

I dislike the phrase "traditional witchcraft" in a language and cultural studies kind of way because like... Do y'all mean witch-cult? 'Cuz Margaret has been discredited over and over and over again.

Do you mean Wicca? Cuz that started in '54; as far as world religion, it's practically an infant. (Author bias note: I was raised in a Wiccan Cult from ages 2 to 12)

Do y'all mean Cochrane's craft? Cuz he was literally a High Priest of Gardner's Bricket Wood Coven (Which would make him an exWiccan or make it a denomination of Wicca instead of a completely separate faith)**

Well, maybe you mean Feri? Nope. That is widely considered a denomination of Wicca too, even by those who practice it.

Crooked Path/Sabbatic? Andrew Chumbley started practicing witchcraft in the 90s, his teachings are patchwork made of Tantra, voodoo, and Christ.ian doctrine... And imo, Christ.ianity is definitely not where witchcraft originated... AND it is also considered a denomination of Wicca by scholars but considered a completely separate religion by practitioners

Thelema was started by a very very rich Englishman after he was apparently visited by the Egyptian god Horus and a disembodied voice called Aiwass in 1907 which would make it the oldest in my list here, but the majority of the scholarly writing on Traditional Witchcraft I could find doesn't include Thelema and it is considered a separate New Religious Movement (NRM) entirely.

Britannica defines traditional as

1 a : based on a way of thinking, behaving, or doing something that has been used by the people in a particular group, family, society, etc., for a long time : following the tradition of a certain group or culture b : typical or normal for something or someone : having the qualities, beliefs, etc., that are usual or expected in a particular type of person or thing 2 based on old-fashioned ideas : not new, different, or modern

This definition feels fuzzy to me, because Neopaganism is definitely new and modern, right? That's what the prefix Neo- means

The only (reputable, published scholarly *) sources I can find basically sum up Traditional Witchcraft as just Wiccan. I have found some (published) sources saying it isn't Wicca, but they are far fewer in number and are religious works, not academic.

I am not a religious scholar. But Neopagan seems to be a much more accurate word to describe these organized practices -- Or does the existence of a Hierarchy and religious leaders makes it "traditional."

And... Neopagan is a very very very broad term, making it somewhat impractical to use as a label when looking for your communities/learning resources/supplies

In my search for information I found this quote from Kelden Mercury, author of The Crooked Path: Introduction to Traditional Witchcraft

“Traditional Witchcraft is an umbrella term that covers a vast array of non-Wiccan practices that are inspired by folklore. These practices may be viewed as religious or spiritual depending upon the group or individual practitioner. Traditional Witches focus on the use of magic, connecting with the natural landscape, and working with various spirits in both the physical realm and the Otherworld.”

But 1) every single other source I'm finding is calling it a branch of Wicca - because the core values originated within Wicca. And 2) it isn't traditional if every practitioner does it differently and 3) What folk lore? There's a lot. I don't know which culture is being referred to here 4) this sent me down a secondary metaphorical rabbit hole to find what "The Otherworld" is, because my only prior knowledge was from my Wiccan Coven upbringing, and in this context, I'm being told we are definitely not talking about Wicca - but we are getting off topic

I have come across one paper grouping all the practices I listed in this post together as "contemporary traditions," and Contemporary Traditional Witchcraft is a bit of a mouthful and possibly an oxymoron but it definitely makes more sense from the perspective of this language nerd. Someone needs to write more on this from a scholarly and historical point of view and I am almost certain I am far too undereducated to do it.

And now, I'm super hyper fixated on the cultural impact of various NRMs, Neopaganism, and modern religion in the west. I cannot afford more student loans but I desperately want to learn more. I might audit some classes just for the hell of it honestly. This is so fascinating at this point. Why isn't this stuff getting studied yet? Does anyone know Ethan Doyle White? Can you give him my email address? (this is a joke, he probably doesn't want to talk to me.) Belief in witchcraft as malevolent magic has been around since ancient Mesopotamia and I can find records of that... But I want to study the cultural impact of this religious movement and there just isn't enough literature to satisfy my inquisitive nature.

Someone smart should be writing this down, because seeing how it spreads and how different groups respond to the movement as a whole could really help historians understand the very very old dead religions, and their cultural impacts.

*I want to emphasize the word Scholarly. I said SCHOLARLY and I mean it. Witchcraft is something very difficult to find historically accurate information about.

** edit to correct pronouns; this information came from PUBLISHED SCHOLARLY ARTICLES. I am not asking you to explain Traditional Witchcraft to me as a practitioner. I am NOT asking to be converted to Wicca. I literally escaped a cult. Have some decorum.

[DISCLAIMER: I'm not arguing the validity of any of these religions, nor am I saying they are bad. Religion, in my opinion, is a good thing. I like paganism. It brings me comfort. This is my brain struggling with the verbage used and lack of written history. I have absolutely no ill intent, I'm just frustrated at the lack of historical records and the limits imposed on us by the English language.]

[hortusmossii]

Apollo's Final Verses

εἴπατε τῷ βασιλεῖ· χαμαὶ πέσε δαίδαλος αὐλά. ούκέτι Φοῖβος ἔχει καλύβαν, οὐ μάντιδα δάφνην, οὐ παγὰν λαλέουσαν, ἀπέσβετο καὶ λάλον ὕδωρ. Tell the emperor that the Daidalic hall has fallen. No longer does Phoebus have his chamber, nor mantic laurel, nor prophetic spring, and the speaking water has been silenced.

These are the words of the last recorded prophecy uttered by the Delphic Oracle, addressed to Emperor Julian the Apostate. I will not get into the (more than justified) academic debate over its authenticity, you can read about it in the bibliography at the end of the post (Thompson, 1946; Vanderspoel, 2006). Let's take it at face value for a moment. Let's suspend disbelief and take it all in.

The prophecy was issued at some point during the second half of the 4th century AD. The Delphic Oracle had been active (although not with Apollo's voice) since the Late Bronze Age (Dietrich, 1992, p. 57). These words are putting an end to more than 1500 years of prophetic tradition. Not only that, but the Pythia is doing so in dactylic hexameters, the same verses used in Greece's most ancient literature. It is the meter of Homer, of the Illiad and the Oddyssey; a poetic pattern born before the Greeks knew how to write, and passed on orally for centuries. They used the music of myth to retire the song of the god.

And "retire" is the right word to use, because Apollo didn't disappear that day. The Oracle was first and foremost a political agent in Antiquity, and a most important one. Its approval was needed to wage wars, sign treaties and make decisions. Its prerrogatives were forged, bribed and interpreted to fit the rulers' needs. Phoebus was a force you had to take into account. But they were on a new age now, and the gods had long been ignored by human affairs, which now looked towards a new Lord. This oracle marks the culmination of that rejection, and the acceptance of the new order. The poem has Apollo stand up, collect his things and leave calmly, his golden steps echoing against the Senate's marble walls. He knows that the world's politics no longer depend on him, that he is no longer expected to rule and advise. So he retires.

But he is not gone. Oracles were (and still are) defined by their ambiguity, and the last words of Apollo obviously had to stick to the trend. Thus, changing just one puntuation mark, a single pause in speech (from "καλύβαν, οὐ μάντιδα δάφνην" to "καλύβαν· οὐ μάντιδα δάφνην"), the entire poem's meaning changes, and can now be translated like this:

"The Daidalic hall has fallen to the ground. Phoebus no longer has his chamber; (but) he has not fallen silent with regard to the mantic laurel, nor the prophetic spring and the speaking water." (Vanderspoeel, 2006, p. 55)

With this reading, we see the light of the god still shining through the crumbling columns. "It is true", the verses say, "my temple has fallen. I no longer hold authority among the rulers of Mankind, and my earthly palace is gone. But I remain the god of prophecy, and the flowing of human history will not muffle my golden voice. I am still here."

This oracle was described by J. B Bury (1930, p. 370) as "the last fragment of Greek poetry which has moved the hearts of men". While that may be up for discussion, it can make you hear the last breath of a dying world, and it can let you feel the gods surviving it, still present for those who want to listen outside of grandiose halls. And it can certainly keep me up writing about it at 2 a.m.

What does it make you feel?? I would love to know ^^

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bibliography:

Bury, J. B (1930) History of the Later Roman Empire

Dietrich, B. C. (1992). Divine Madness and Conflict at Delphi.  Kernos, 5

Thompson, E. A. (1946). The last Delphic oracle. The Classical Quarterly, 40(1-2), 35-36.

Vanderspoel, J. (2006). The enigma of the last oracle. Topoi. Orient-Occident, 7(1), 53-61.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my sister that I didn't find her instagram post funny and that I didn't want her to send me things like that again?

I (32f) have never had a good relationship with my sister (34f). We have gotten somewhat better over time, but we have always had a strained relationship. We are about as opposite as you can be. Social rights issues? No compromise. ACAB? Constant disagreements. Politics: best never mention them. TV Shows? No interest at all. Music? We cannot stand each other's music. We genuinely have nothing except our blood and the fact we were raised by the same people in common.

I am currently in the process of finishing my PhD and live on a different continent to her. We have been vaguely trying to talk and maintain a cordial friendship from afar.

For the past four months I had been preparing for a conference that I was organizing, leading, and moderating. It was a massive project that will be a huge part of my dissertation research, and it went very well. The day after the conference I had a long career planning discussion with some academic advisors, and spent about three hours talking in my second language with my own advisor. The combination of everything left me genuinely exhausted to the point that I woke up the day after it all still too tired to move.

After I woke up, I realized I had a text from her containing an instagram link - no comment, no notes, no context, just the link. I know I wasn't in a perfect headspace and still needed more sleep, but I clicked it because usually she just spam sends me instagram videos about random baby rearing things she finds funny. I don't find any of them amusing, but tolerate them because she seems to enjoy it. I usually just nod my head or offer a few responses to show I've seen it and move on.

But this video was different. This video was, as far as I can tell, an influencer attempt at selling an AI. It had a young woman walk into a classroom with the onscreen text describing how "my professor is the same age as us and she has her phd!" and when she was asked how she got it, the video shows how the "teacher" went onto Youtube, put Youtube videos into this AI which created an algorithm to summarize the video. It ends with the words "University is a joke in 2024".

I was....genuinely offended. After everything I had been through working on this conference and with years of thesis work, I was just hurt. I watched it a few times, trying to understand what it was even trying to say, and could come up with no good reason for why she would just send it to me. So I wrote back to her "idk how you even want me to respond."

She said she thought it was funny, and I asked her if she understood why I wouldn't find it funny. She wrote back "because you lack my sense of humor smh." I tried explaining why I was upset and reframed it in the context of her job. She doubled down that she thought it was funny, but that it was because she thought it was amusing anyone would think they could get any kind of degree like that.

I explained that AI is genuinely a problem in universities right now and that our students are using it to get through their classes and it's causing a lot of chaos with profs trying to crack down on it. Then I told her it felt like she sent me something just to annoy me.

The argument continued from there. I asked her not to send me stuff like that again, and she asked how she was supposed to know I would be triggered by an AI video, and that I was being oversensitive, and how it was my fault for always assuming that she is plotting to piss me off and that she can never show an interest in my life without me having a "feelings dumpfest" and calling her out for being a bully.

I don't understand how she could think sending a video to me saying "university is a joke in 2024" with no context at all would be taken as a joke in the first place. And I felt like if I didn't tell her I didn't like this kind of video and why it made me upset she would keep sending things like this to me I'd have to keep seeing and ignoring future posts.

AITA for telling her I didn't think it was funny and to stop?

Should I have just ignored it and gone back to sleep? (At this point that's what I felt like I should have done...)

What are these acronyms?

[thestarryshepherd]

Hello, I am Starry you might know me from my TikTok StarryEyedShepherd. The reason I started my TikTok is because I have always had an interest in religion and when I dwelled in HelPol I got really invested in the history of it. Ancestor worship is one of the center points of Hellenic Polytheism and although they aren’t my blood ancestry, they are my religious ancestors, so for me it was basic respect to try and reconstruct to the best of my ability ancient Greek religious principles and just generally religion to the best of my personal abilities. I have been wanting to be a professor of classics for a bit and since I read academic texts and try to do my research to the best of my abilities I thought I could share some of my knowledge based on that. I had an incredibly optimistic outlook on TikTok in the beginning and was overly sweet with people who I really shouldn’t have been with. However I started to understand sadly that TikTok was no place of education and barely anybody was interested in hearing about the religion and instead preferred to see people make up fun stories of how their supposed spouse god had been planning a romantic time together. The only evidence we have of godspousal or anything similar was purely ritualistic and not to be taken as literal marriage. Note that it was also done (as far as all historical sources we have available to us) in Athens by the queen of Athens at the festival of Anthesteria. This was a very special woman as well as most of the rituals done in association with the cult of Dionysos were not usually to do with “the usual way of doing things”. From my perspective it’s disrespectful to claim to have slept with a god and to have romanced them. “But what about the myths?” Well Hesiod tells us that the gods have pulled away from humanity and we are living in the age after the age of heroes called the “Iron Age”. He describes this as an age where the gods will have forsaken humanity. This makes sense when put into the context that this happens right after the brutal events of The Iliad where the gods realize that their involvement with humanity is doing more wrong than good. “So does this mean that they aren’t with us anymore?” They are with us just not to the same extent. People claiming to be able to speak clearly the word of gods are charlatans. We know this again through Hesiod’s description and through the fact that even the Oracle at Delphi who was our main connection to the gods was only able to speak in jumbled words and not in correct coherent sentences. There had to be a man next to her to translate her sayings to put them into semi-coherent sentences. This is also why Tarot is so general and not hyper specific, at least IF you believe in divination through such means as some HelPols don’t and I can understand why. I made my opinions regarding these very clear on my TikTok. In the defence of the people who went on to attack me for such opinions I will say that I was not too kind with people who thought in such ways. I was going through an incredibly horrible time irl and well this can make people much more prone to saying things in all the wrong ways. I called someone who had godspoused Hera “delusional”. In my defence I did not name names and whenever I made videos I have continued not to. It is not my purpose to humiliate someone on the internet however to question to what extent they have basic understandings of this religion especially when to me such things seem incredibly disrespectful. However, I see now that even trying to have a conversation with such people or bringing attention to them only feeds their victim complex and the fact that ultimately they do not wish to learn about the religion. A group of people who are TikTok godspouses especially didn’t take kindly to my statements and have kept making videos, and sly remarks about me in their comments sections. Helpol tiktok is so incredibly toxic and ahistorical I’m honestly not sure if Tumblr is better in this regard I have heard it is but honestly my hopes aren’t very high. Please prove me wrong.

[angrybell]

An Israeli author was supposed to appear and give a talk about her books at the Pushkin House, part of the University of London. It was due to occur on . With the date approaching the people at Pushkin House sent the following to Ms. Rubina.

Good afternoon, Dina

The Pushkin House advertised our upcoming discussion on social media and immediately received critical messages regarding your position on the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. They would like to understand your position on this issue before reacting in any way.

Could you formulate your position and send it to me as soon as possible?”

Natalia! “

Ms. Rubina responded with the following open letter.

An OPEN LETTER

from Dina Rubina

“Dear Natalia!

You have written beautifully about my novels; I am very sorry for the time you have wasted. But it seems we’ll have to cancel our meeting. The University of Warsaw and the University of Torun have just cancelled lectures by the remarkable Israeli Russian-speaking writer Yakov Shechter on the life of Jews in Galicia in the 17th and 19th centuries – “to avoid aggravating the situation”. I suspected that this would also happen to me, because now the academic environment is the main nursery of the most disgusting and rabid anti-Semitism, hiding behind the so-called “criticism of Israel”. I was expecting something like this, and even sat down three times to write you a letter on the subject… but I decided to wait, and so I have waited.

That’s what I want to say to all those who expect from me a quick and obsequious account of my position on my beloved country, which now (and always) lives in a circle of ardent enemies who seek its destruction; on my country, which is now waging a just patriotic war against a violent, ruthless, deceitful and sophisticated enemy:

The last time in my life I apologised in the headmaster’s office, in the ninth grade. Since then, I have done what I think is right, listening only to my conscience and expressing only my understanding of the world order and human laws of justice.

And so on.

I’m really sorry, Natalia, for your efforts and the hope that you could “cook something with me” – something that everyone will like.

Therefore, I ask you personally to send my reply to all those who are interested:

On Saturday 7 October, the Jewish holiday of Simchat Torah, the ruthless, well-trained, carefully prepared and perfectly equipped with Iranian weapons Hamas terrorist regime ruling the Gaza enclave (which Israel left some 20 years ago) attacked dozens of peaceful kibbutzim and simultaneously pelted the territory of my country with tens of thousands of rockets. Atrocities that even the Bible cannot describe, atrocities and horrors that make the crimes of Sodom and Gomorrah pale in comparison (captured, by the way, by the frontal and chest cameras of the murderers themselves and boastfully sent by them in real time to the Internet), can shock any normal person. For several hours, thousands of gleeful, blood-drunk animals raped women, children and men, shot their victims in the crotch and in the head, cut off women’s breasts and played football with them, cut babies out of the bellies of pregnant women and immediately beheaded them, tied up small children and burned them. There were so many charred and completely burnt bodies that for many weeks the pathologists could not cope with the enormous burden of identifying individuals.

My friend, who worked in a New York hospital waiting room for 20 years and then spent another 15 years in Israel identifying remains, was one of the first to arrive in the burned and blood-soaked kibbutzim with a group of rescuers and medics… She still can’t sleep. A medic used to cutting up bodies – she fainted from what she saw and then vomited all the way back to the car. What these people have seen is beyond words.

Together with the Hamas fighters, the “civilian population” rushed into the holes in the fence, joined the pogroms on an unprecedented scale, robbed, killed and dragged whatever they could get their hands on into Gaza. Among these “peaceful Palestinians” were 450 members of the UN’s UNRWA scum. Everyone was there, and judging by the stormy total joy of the population (also captured in these inconvenient times by hundreds of mobile cameras) – there were a lot of people – Hamas supports and approves, at least before the real fighting starts, of almost the entire population of Gaza… The main problem: our residents were dragged into the beast’s lair, more than two hundred of them, including women, children, the elderly and non-essential foreign workers. About a hundred of them are now rotting and dying in the Hamas dungeons. Needless to say, these harassed victims are of little concern to the “academic community”.

But that’s not what I’m talking about. I am not writing this to make anyone sympathise with the tragedy of my people.

For all these years, when the world community has literally poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this piece of land (the Gaza Strip) – and the annual budget of the UNRWA organisation alone is a BILLION dollars! – All these years, Hamas has used this money to build an empire of the most complex underground tunnel system, to stockpile weapons, to teach primary school children how to dismantle and reassemble a Kalashnikov assault rifle, to print textbooks in which the hatred of Israel defies description, in which even the maths problems go like this: “There were ten Jews, Shahid killed four, how many are left?” – with every word calling for the murder of Jews.

And now that Israel, shocked at last by the monstrous crime of these bastards, is waging a war to destroy the Hamas terrorists, who have prepared this war so carefully, planting thousands of shells in all the hospitals, schools, kindergartens… – here the academic world of the whole world has risen up, worried about the “genocide of the Palestinian people”, based, of course, on data provided by… who? That’s right, by the same Hamas, by the same UNRWA… The academic community, which was not concerned about the massacres in Syria, the massacre in Somalia, the mockery of the Uighurs or the millions of Kurds persecuted for decades by the Turkish regime – this very concerned public, wearing “Arafat” around their necks, the trademark of the murderers, rallies under the banners “Free Palestine from the river to the sea! – which means the total destruction of Israel (yes, many of these “academics”, as surveys show, have no idea where this river is, what it is called, where some borders are…). – Now this very public asks me to “take a clear position on this issue”.

Are you serious?! Are you serious?!!

You see, I’m a writer by profession. All my life, for more than fifty years, I have been folding words. My novels have been translated into 40 languages, including Albanian, Turkish, Chinese, Esperanto… and many others.

Now, with great pleasure, without using too many expressions, I sincerely and with all the strength of my soul send all the brainless “intellectuals” interested in my position to the ASS. In fact, very soon you will all be there without me”.

Dina Rubina