#if I actually go back to no income I'm gonna have to stay in shit college conditions and my end of year plans are gonna change :/

[bibiana112]

I am still unclear if this is appropriate timing or if we good or not lol

[bloodstainedsaint]

thank you thank you thank yooou!! And I don’t mind waiting for good stuff 🤷‍♀️

Okay so my idea kinda was in episode 7 when George and Lipton is in the same foxhole. So they get “hit” by the dud but the reader is so scared something actually happened to George, so she is running towards their foxhole and George is screaming for her to stay put cuz he’s okay and then she gets hit….or almost…I mean something tragic. I wanna bawl my eyes out.

And of course…feel free to not do it, if you think it sucks🧡 Love your stuff and have a good day !

louder than bombs (george luz x reader)

word count: 1800+

warnings: blood, gore, death, angst (w happy ending), bff! roe, mutual pining, i hint at both renée x roe AND baberoe

notes: used some hcs from this (shameless self-plug), and happy new year to all! i hope that 2024 is your year :)

“So, you and Luz, huh?”

Despite Lieutenant Dike’s request not to (like you'd listen to a coward like him anyway, even if he did have a good point), you and Eugene were sharing a foxhole — one a few meters behind where Skip, Penk, Don, and Luz were standing around in a circle, joking and laughing.

Taking your eyes off the man in question — you'd been staring at him from afar for too long, anyway — you turned to Eugene with a befuddled expression. “What do you mean, ‘You and Luz?’”

He took one look at your face and chuckled around the cigarette in his mouth. “It can mean whatever you want it to mean.”

“You say that as if we’re together or something, Gene,” you scoffed and held yourself tighter for warmth.

“Practically. Seen yourself lately? You blush and smile whenever he talks to you.”

Spluttering in response, you could feel your ears going red. “Well, Bayou, what if I’m blushing because it's zero degrees out here? And what if he’s just a funny guy in general?”

Eugene glanced over to the group of men, and, as if on cue, they were cracking up at George’s impression of the chickenshit lieutenant. “He’s a good match for you, (Y/N).”

“Oh, I'm so glad you approve,” you said, rolling your eyes at your friend. “Gonna read our wedding rites now?”

He put out his cigarette. “He makes you laugh. We could all use some of that.”

You inspected the faraway look in Eugene’s eyes, and you knew he was right. The fatal accident with the goddamned Luger that killed Hoobler recently, the barrage earlier today that sent both Joe Toye and Bill home with missing right legs, the overall misery of this frozen hell. You’d all seen your fair share of blood and open flesh; the company needed the beam of light that was George Luz.

Watching Luz as he was pulled aside by Lipton, you exhaled, nodded, and huddled a little closer to Eugene. “Yeah. Yeah, you're right.” After a few quiet, thoughtful moments, a small smile creeped back up on your face when you thought of something to bring up the mood again.

“You never heard me teasing you about Renée,” you muttered beneath your breath, loud enough for him to hear and correct you on because you had teased him about the Belgian nurse. Before he could, you pushed on, your grin growing, “Hey, what about you and Babe, huh?”

Now it was his turn to turn to you shocked. Your snickering was interrupted by the roaring, deafening sound of a bombardment shredding trees around you.

“Shit!” you cursed, the night sky lighting up with fireworks of yellow and white. Snow and dirt erupted from the ground like spurts of lava from a volcano. Through the ringing in your ears, you heard bellows of “Incoming!” and other indistinct cries.

Turning to the man next to you, you shouted above the din, “Eugene, you alright?”

“Fine,” he shouted back as he clutched his helmet tight to his head. “You?”

“Fine,” you echoed with a nod, though maybe your head had moved on its own with the shaking ground beneath you. You strained your ears to single out cries for a medic; you didn't catch any, and you weren't sure if that was because no one had gotten hurt yet or because they were dead within an instant.

You peeped over the edge of your foxhole. In the flashes of light, you could make out amongst the silhouette of wrecked trees George hurriedly crawling on the ground towards a foxhole with two soldiers in it, yelling for him to come on. If your hearing wasn't failing you, you recognized their voices as Skip and Penk.

“What d’ya see?” Eugene poked his head out of the foxhole.

Your voice was strangled in your throat as you helplessly watched George inch his way toward cover. “I—” you started, before a shell directly hit the two men in the middle of their calls. Frantically, you backed into your foxhole. “Skip and Penk, they’re…”

“What?” Eugene shouted, and you realized you had only murmured it.

“Muck and Penkala got hit!” you cried. The look you gave Eugene told him that there would be no saving them.

You got back up to peek over your foxhole and saw that Luz had vanished. Your heart sank in your chest, right down to the pits of your stomach.

Before your mind could register what was going on, your feet lifted you up and out of the foxhole. You could faintly hear Eugene yelling at you to come back, (Y/N), what the hell are you doing? You hit the ground at the same time a shell did just meters away from you, showering you in debris. Yet, you felt distant from the thought of danger or bodily harm, your raw instinct on overdrive; the only thing that was running through your mind as you dashed through the devastated forest was if George was okay.

Eyes flitting around, you caught a glimpse of him getting into a foxhole with Lip. As waves of relief washed over you, you jumped into a foxhole a distance behind them. A shell impacted nearby and swept the fallen trees acting as their cover towards you. You pulled your knees close to your chest and covered your head, staying like that as the barrage kept up.

Then, for just a second, it was silent. Closing your eyes, you caught your breath. A whistling sound ceased the brief respite, and you peered over just in time to see smoke coming from George and Lipton’s foxhole. Your mind disconnected itself from your body once again; it felt like you were moving in slow motion as your feet took you to them. That smoke clouded your senses, your thoughts — all you could see and hear were the vivid memories of Hoobler’s wound gushing blood and his dull eyes closing shut for the last time; you treating Bill’s still twitching leg while Toye’s shredded one was being bandaged by Eugene only feet away; and Muck and Penkala’s foxhole going up in a spray of dirt and a show of light, abruptly cutting off their shouting.

What were you going to see when you arrived at their foxhole? Bloodstained snow? Mangled limbs? Ruined corpses? Even the thought made you want to sob.

Your heart thundered in your ear, louder than any bombs or artillery the Germans could send at you, but you could vaguely discern George’s voice in your trance.

“Damn it, am I yelling medic? Stay right fucking there, (Y/N)!”

Right as you were shaken out of your own head, your eyes focusing on the two unharmed men as they yelled for you to stay put, a shell hit a tree hardly an arm’s length away from you. The burst launched you backwards, lodging shrapnel into your face and all over your body.

You let your eyes flutter closed as the screaming started.

-

“(Y/N)!” George bawled, witnessing the last shell of the bombardment blast the tree right next to you.

“George, get down!” Lip pushed George down into the foxhole from where he'd been peeking over to helplessly watch your unsteady advance.

George couldn't get the image of you shielding yourself at the last second out of his head. He broke free from Lipton and crawled out of his foxhole to your unmoving figure, relieved to find that you were still breathing out clouds of vapor, albeit unevenly. Your right cheek was cut and bleeding, as well as your arms, legs, torso — hell, was there anywhere you weren’t bleeding from?

He cradled your head to his, whispering that it's gonna be alright and you’re gonna be just dandy, (Y/N), even though he didn't believe those words himself. He lifted his head from yours and yelled for a medic with a hoarse voice, already scratched up from having to shout over the booming to tell Lipton that Muck and Penkala got hit.

George then realized that he had gotten extremely lucky that day; Muck and Penkala had been shelled just before he reached their foxhole, and the shell that had landed next to him and Lipton was a dud. Staring down at your bloodied form, he darkly concluded that maybe he wasn't lucky — maybe he just brought bad luck to everyone else.

Eugene seemed to materialize out of thin air at the panicked calls for a doctor and kneeled over you, ordering, “Set ‘em down, set ‘em down!” George laid you down on the icy ground, and he saw that your eyes were open now, darting around at your surroundings. You looked frightened and pained, yet when your eyes finally settled on him, you seemed somewhat at ease.

“Jesus, what did I tell you, (Y/N)?” Eugene reprimanded, but the concern in his voice was evident. He began picking out the shrapnel from your flesh, and you wailed out in agony. Ripping open a sulfa packet with his teeth, he then shook the powder onto your countless wounds.

In the back of his mind, George knew that your pained whimpers would haunt him forever if you didn't pull through, acting as the price of his "good luck".

“Told me to come back, Genie,” you smiled mirthlessly, which quickly became a wince with the gash in your cheek. The white medic band around your arm was stained the same color as the red cross on it.

Lipton was out of the foxhole at this point and assisting Eugene with bandaging your injuries. “You’ll be fine, alright? Just hang in there.”

George registered that he had only been staring, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. He intertwined his fingers with yours and squeezed your clammy hand, to which you weakly squeezed back.

Grimacing while he injected you with morphine, Eugene said to Lipton, “They’re bleeding bad, Sarge; we gotta get ‘em back to an aid station.”

George’s voice sounded far off from himself. “I’ll radio for a jeep.” As he did so, his hand still clutching yours, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the excruciation on your face. For some reason, he felt guilty.

Though it felt like years to him, the jeep arrived shortly, and the three of them carried you to the stretcher on the hood of the vehicle and gingerly placed you upon it.

Gazing down upon you on that stretcher, your face streaked with crimson, your hair matted with dried blood, George wanted to say, “I still find you beautiful, Bloody Mary," but for what felt like first time in his life, the words weren't there and the wiseass comment just refused to come out right.

What came tumbling out of his lips instead was, “I love you.”

Pausing, Lipton and Eugene exchanged a knowing look and watched with bated breath. Meanwhile, George wanted to smack himself for letting the adrenaline coursing through his veins get to him; this was definitely not what you wanted to hear — rejecting him should be the least of your worries right now.

To his utter disbelief, you smiled, in spite of yourself and the grim circumstances. “I love you too, George.”

Once his brain wrapped around the fact that you needed him as much as he needed you, he implored, "Come back to me, alright?” He gently caressed your cheek, his voice sounding different to himself with the undertone of desperation. “I—I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

You placed a feeble hand over his and turned to press a kiss to it. “I'm counting on it.”

The driver finally grew tired of the delay and urged them to get moving. George stepped away as Eugene hopped in the jeep’s shotgun seat to escort you back to the aid station.

Lighting a cigarette with trembling hands, George watched the jeep dissipate into the blanket of night.

-

Eugene let things sink in for a while; you were grateful for the time to rest as the morphine kicked in. When you arrived, though, you were awake enough to hear him ask again, a rare smirk hidden in his voice:

“So, you and Luz, huh?”

-

taglist: @mads-weasley, @ronsparky, @dcyllom, @malarkgirlypop, @joetoyesbrassknuckles101, @samwinchesterslostshoe, @fxxiva

[sturnioloszn]

BLONDIE - N.S

summary; your best friend calls you over to his house to help him dye his hair and, in the process, convinces you to dye your eyebrows.

warnings; none, js a fluff w the nicolas stromboli.

a/n; another nick fic, there is actually a massive shortage of nick fics, and i'm here to change that. also, blond nick was a massive slay, the look should make a comeback (along w the mullet).

★ ° . *　　°　.　°☆ 　. * ● ¸. 　　　★ 　° :. ★　 * •

"Bitch, did you just wake up?" Nick's voice echoes into my quiet room. I rub my eyes and let a yawn escape my lips before answering.

"It's only... 12:33," I groan, looking at the time on my phone. I was woken by the sound of my phone violently buzzing on my nightstand only to find out it was an incoming call from my best friend.

"What do y'mean only?!" He exclaims, making me quickly pull the phone away from ear due to the deafening volume he was speaking at.

"I mean only, now, what is sooo urgent that you had to disturb my beauty sleep?" I ask, releasing another yawn and pulling the phone back to my ear.

"I was calling to ask if you wanted to come over, I'm dying my hairrrr," he sings. Dying his hair?? Oh god, I have to see this mess.

"I'll be over in an hour, don't you dare start without me," I warn, rising from my bed and heading to my bathroom. The cold tiles against my bare feet make me shiver and get goosebumps all over my back and arms.

"I wouldn't dream of it, see ya soon," he says, ending the call. I'm now standing in my bathroom mirror, looking at the bird nest that formed in my hair overnight. I grab the nearest hairbrush and comb out the mess sitting on top of my head before taking a refreshing shower to really wake me the fuck up.

Roughly an hour later, and my uber is pulling up to Nicks. I knock on their door, after a few seconds, the door swings open, and I'm greeted by Nick's cheesy smile.

"Took you long enough," he says, as we make our way upstairs to his bathroom. On the way up, I briefly greet Matt and Chris, who are sitting on the couch, watching Gravity Falls.

"What colour are you even doing?" I ask, stepping into his bathroom. Nick's green decor was so welcoming as usual, and the hung picture of him as a kid brushing his teeth is adorable.

"Drum roll, please.... blond!!" He says, hitting his against the counter to imitate the sound of a drum.

I'm in complete shock. Out of all the possible colour options I thought about on the drive over, blond didn't even cross my mind.

"Blond?! Why blond?" I ask, still trying to pick my jaw up from the floor.

"I have no idea, but I'm feeling it so fuck it," he says grabbing the box of bleach sitting on his counter and opening it up.

Within minutes, I'm holding a brush covered with dye and layering it thickly onto Nick's brunette strands.

"This is insane, your gonna look like fucking Fred from Scooby Doo," I laugh, looking at his face through the mirror. We both break into laughter and the jokes keep flowing from there.

After a solid 10 minutes of applying the bleach to his hair, it's finally completely covered, and we've tied a plastic bag to his head to let the bleach process.

"How long does this shit stay on my head for?" He asks, flopping onto his bed.

"No fucking clue, if I had to guess, I'd say until it burns," I reply, before falling onto his bed right next to him.

"BURNING? FUCK NO, YOU WANT ME BALD," He shrieks, before googling how long it's actually supposed to process for. While we wait, we continue to crack jokes about all the characters he's going to look like blond, and tears are starting to form.

"YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE FUCKING JOHNNY BRAVO," I wheeze as the alarm on his phone goes off indicating that it's time to rinse off the dye.

"Shut the fuck up and come help me rinse this shit," he laughs making his way to the bathroom, with me following right behind him.

As we enter the bathroom, he notices the leftover bleach in the bowl and a wicked grin grows on his face.

"I'll give you 50 bucks if you dye your eyebrows with the leftover bleach," he says, looking over to me.

"Make it 80, and you have a deal," I challenge. I don't actually mind dying them. It was only eyebrows, and I could dye them back whenever so I was down to fuck around and find out.

"Deal," he accepts, grabbing the brush and begins applying the bleach to my eyebrows.

"If you drop any in my eyes, I will fight you," I say, shielding my eyes while laughing.

He eventually coats my eyebrows, and I begin to rinse his hair under the sink. As I'm rinsing I'm noticing that the blond is looking awfully orange.

"Nick...,"

"What? What's wrong?" He asks with pure terror lacing his voice.

"You might want to see yourself..." I say as he lifts his head to look at himself in the mirror. His jaw drops.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. This." He says, pronouncing every word loud and clear. I press my lips together, trying to restrain my laugh, but it's no use.

"You look like a bottle of honey mustard," I cackle. Nick turns around and serves me a playful punch on my arm. His hair was a shade of yellow-ish orange instead of the light blond it was meant to be.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY," He says, combing his fingers through his hair. Tears start forming at my eyes again, and this time, they roll down my cheeks because it actually is funny. Hilarious even. But I instantly stop laughing when I remember the same dye is in my eyebrows right now.

Nick notices my look of sudden concern, and that's when he also comes to my same realisation.

"HAH, WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH NOW, BITCH," He says pointing at my eyebrows. I push him to the side and instantly scrub my eyebrows under the faucet, trying to get rid of the dye before it has any effect on my eyebrows.

Unfortunately, it was too late. My eyebrows matched the tangerine colour of Nick's hair. We stared at ourselves in the mirror before bursting into laughter once again.

After drying Nicks hair, we agreed that we were both in serious need of some toner. We rushed downstairs to find Matt to ask if he could drive us over to the nearest shop so we could fix our mess.

We go into the living room to find only Matt sitting on the couch now. As we approach him, he turns to look at us, and his eyes widen like he has just seen a dragon blow fire.

"What the hell did you guys do??" He says, fixating on Nick's hair and my eyebrows. We explained how we got into the mess and then asked him if he could drop us off to get some toner.

"Fuck no, I'm not being seen in public with you idiots looking like that, find another way," he says, getting up from the couch, leaving me and Nick alone in the living room.

We turn to look at each other and just start laughing all over again. With all the dumb shit I do, I'm glad I get to share it with my best friend. I really wouldn't have it any other way.

★ ° . *　　°　.　°☆ 　. * ● ¸. 　　　★ 　° :. ★　 * •

a/n; no lie, with that one pic of nick with his head out the window and his hair slanted to one side, he rlly does look like johnny bravo; if you don't k who that is I beg you search it up!! anyway, thanks for reading this fic, love youu! 💙

[ac-19]

Marry Me - T. Sawyer (Bravo 4)

Summary: you never expected it to happen until it did. In the middle of the battlefield.

We were trapped. There was gunfire coming in on either side of us, and I was running extremely low on ammo, which is why Trent was currently doing most of the shooting. This was not what I was expecting when I agreed to roll with Bravo while Clay was out with an injury. 

"Bravo 4, Alpha 3 come in."

"Bravo 1 this is Alpha 3, we're pinned down."

"Copy Alpha 3. We're heading your way now."

"Copy."

"What's the plan?"

"Run like hell."

I chuckled, and Trent looked back at me for a second over his shoulder before he focused his attention back on shooting at the bad guys. 

"What?"

"There's no way we're making it out of here you know that right? Unless Jason can pull off some miracle we're outnumbered and outgunned."

I saw a figure run across the corner and come at us so I quickly lifted my gun and fired off a shot landing it square in between his eyebrows. 

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life you know that."

"Then trust me here."

"Okay."

"Stay close to me and run when I say so."

I nodded to myself.

"Now."

I quickly turned around and we both bolted and I had no idea where we were running to until we were in the empty building across the street. We ran up the stairs pushing as much debris as we could behind us until we reached the top. 

"See I told you to trust me."

I smirked.

"Never doubted you for a second."

Trent scoffed.

"Yeah right. How's your ammo?"

"Low."

What sounded like an explosion came from downstairs and I looked up at Trent.

"We're not alone."

"Get behind me and hide."

I scoffed.

"Like hell I'm going to let you fight these guys alone."

"(Y/N) for once can you listen to me. It's my life over yours always, don't you get that?"

"You know I technically outrank you right? I don't have to take orders from you. And by the way this is not the time to be noble Trent Sawyer. I love you and I am not going to let you take these guys on by yourself because I would never forgive you if you died and I lived."

Trent smiled.

"I love you so fucking much (Y/N)."

"Cut the sappy shit Sawyer, we have some bad guys to fight."

Trent smiled as he planted a quick kiss on my lips before we took our position hiding from the guys coming up the stairs. We heard more gunfire, which meant there were a lot more people down there than we thought, and I gripped my gun a little tighter. With the ammo we had left, there was no chance we were going to win this fight. 

"Meet you on the beach?"

Trent nodded. We had this saying that if either one of us didn't make it home from a mission we would wait for each other at the beach. We knew this was a lose lose situation and the chances of us making it out alive were very slim. The shooting got closer and closer and before we knew it bullets were flying our way. We fought back for as long as we could but there were just too many of them.

"I'm out."

"Me too."

Trent quickly grabbed onto my hand, and we started running dodging bullets, trying our best to get away. We made it out of the building, but we quickly found out that there were more of them out onto the street.

"Incoming."

Trent swiftly covered my body with his as a grenade exploded just a few feet from us. More gunfire erupted, and we tried our best to take shelter behind some of the debris. 

"You know if we get out of here we should get married."

I chuckled through the tears that were now streaming down my cheeks. 

"If we get out of this alive, we can go straight to the courthouse when we land back in Virgina Beach."

"I'm gonna hold you to that Mrs. Sawyer."

I leaned forward and planted my lips on Trent's. If these were our last moments together, all I wanted was for him to know how much I loved him. After a failed engagement for me and a failed marriage for him, I never thought I'd hear those words come out of his mouth. We had known each other for years before we actually got together. Our unofficial first date was after I was stood up and went to the Bulkhead to blow off some steam and ended up talking with Trent the whole time. Metal called it that night, that'd we'd be together, and three years later, here we were. More explosions made us pull apart, and I sighed out of relief when I saw Ceberrus running towards us. 

"Alpha 3, Bravo 4 can you pinpoint your location?"

"Bravo 2 this Alpha 3. Follow Cerb."

"Copy that Alpha 3."

Soon enough Ray, Brock and Metal were standing around us. Brock took a hold of Ceberrus while Metal handed me some ammo and Ray handed Trent some. I quickly reloaded and wiped my face of the tears.

"Bout damn time."

"You know I wasn't about to let my best damn gun fighter die a horrible death. Oh and had to save Trent too.

I chuckled.

"Can you repeat that so I can record it?"

"Not gonna happen kid."

"Let's get to exfil."

I nodded, and we followed Ray's lead as we headed towards the exfil point. Jason and Sonny were mending the exfil point, and he smiled when he saw us in tow of Metal, Ray and Brock. 

"Good to have you guys back."

I chuckled.

"You always take us to the nicest places Jason."

"You always volunteer to come."

"Yeah well this might be my last ride with Bravo."

"Oh come on now, I didn't think you'd scare that easily."

Some gunfire was heard in the distance and I shook my head. 

"Let's get the hell out of here."

"I second that."

I smiled as we all climbed into the helicopter and smiled at Trent as we took off. The team knew about our relationship, even Blackburn knew, but he always looked the other way when I volunteered to work with Bravo. If we do get married then that complicates things where it concerns us working with each other. I felt a small tap on my leg and I looked over at Trent.

"Where's your head at right now?"

"Just grateful that we didn't die."

He nodded. 

"Yeah that was close."

I nodded as I laid my head on his shoulder as we flew back towards the airstrip that was going to bring us back to Virginia Beach. Once we were all back on the plane I changed back into some civilian clothes which consisted of a pair of blue jeans, a long sleeve shirt that I "borrowed" from Trent's closet and some white converses. Everybody was exhausted so we all tried our best to get some sleep. After some tossing and turning on my part I decided to get up and grab some water. 

"Can't sleep?"

I shook my head as I turned to face Trent. 

"Adrenaline's still going. You know from almost dying today."

Trent nodded. 

"Yeah. Listen about what I said.."

I nodded. 

"You know I get it. It was said in the heat of the moment when we thought we were gonna die. I'm not gonna hold you to it."

He nodded as he pulled something out of the front pocket of his jeans and I swallowed the lump in my throat when I realized it was a ring box.

"And that answer right there is exactly why I've been hauling this thing around with me for weeks now waiting for the perfect moment and in reality there's never gonna be a perfect moment because we leave on spin up and deployments and we never know if we're going to make it back home. You're my best friend (Y/N) and I can't imagine not being married to you another day."

I nodded as tears brimmed my eyes. 

"I was really hoping you weren't gonna go back on what you said because I really want to marry you Trent Sawyer."

Trent smiled as he stepped forward and put his hands on my hips and planted his lips on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kind of got lost in the moment until Metal cleared his throat. 

"Excuse me, I just need to go to the bathroom to go puke after witnessing that."

[nananarc]

Gonna disclose my income as a freelance artist because I feel like it might give some perspective. And mostly bc I'm feeling a bit burnout and I want pity points ok? Lol.

Context 1: For sake of simplicity, all figures are net income (minused all fees, charges, insurance, benefits, etc)

Context 2: I live in a big city in Việt Nam and the cost of living is relatively low. A salary of 1000$/month is considered really good for someone living alone with one pet, no family or children, no debt or other liabilities. Entry level jobs usually start at around 200-300$/month.

.

Let's start in 2021 because that's when it can be considered when I started doing art professionally.

In 2021 and 2022, I was juggling between art school, a part-time online side gig, building social media for my art, and of course try to get commissions. But coms were few and far between, mainly because I didn't have an online present before and I only hang in relatively small fandoms. So all I earn through side gig and art were only some change, in total avarage to about 40$/ month. Some months made up for no income months.

In 2023, things starts to be a bit better as I get more confident in my skill, but coms are still few and far between and months with no income is still common. Side gig was few and far between too and pay less. Overall I'd say it goes up to about 80$/month.

This year 2024, art school is done, I can finally do art full time. But I was severely burnout because all the accumulated stress since waaaaay before catch up with me and i couldn't cope anymore. I have to spend a lot of time resting instead. Fortunately, I received a decent amount of coms each month, and the new patreon surprisingly got a few supporters (I fully realistically expected it to sit at 0 for at least a year). Overall, I have an 8 hours 4 days work week: 4 hours a day on com and managing social media and other stuff that actually makes money; 4 hours a day on my own projects and personal indulgence that doesn't directly make money. As of now, my income is about 180$/month.

.

You are probably wondering how the fuck do one live like this in this economy.

It's because my family is middle class and can afford a freeloader like me in their house, receive their pocket money and tuition fee. I'm privileged.

But of course my family isn't rich and if just one catastrophic event happens to us, we'd be in bad shit. I'm constantly in anxiety of money, work, and the future. It doesn't help that I'm late 20s and many people around keep reminding of how I'm not making money yet still leeching off parents. It doesn't help that, for years all i hear about art is it will just lead to failure and no money.

.

But still, I am thankful of my family for letting me stay here. And all my friends and supporters for giving me money oc lol, but more importantly, believing in me more than I ever do in myself. I read all of your little tags, your keysmash and compliments, and I keep them all dear to my heart, and I went back to them everytime I need motivation. I can't see where my future as an artist will be, but I cling to your support and love as the will to keep going. Thank you all so, so fucking much. I'd have been literally dead in a ditch somewhere without you guys.

Anyway, idk, I've always been adamant about wage transparency (especially in a corporate setting) but I rarely see this in freelance artists. except to flex, to promote the hustle culture, or to sell some courses they made. Most of us don't want/can't subscribe to the grind and have nothing to flex either. All we have is this shit economy. I'd wish we could have been more open about this and many of us wouldn't have to feel so lonely and despair all the time.

[kurov1864]

Milgram characters as animals

I am so very high and sleep deprived so I apologize if my writing is whack

Amane: Cat. More specifically, a kitten. A traumatized one. She would be a very curious kitten. Always exploring around the house and very eager to try new things. She doesn't get shaken up by new people that easily unless they actually do something to her, and treats the owners with a degree of indifference. Pet her? She won't melt or purr. Call her name? Maybe a head turn if you're lucky. Try to pick her up? Hisses and scratches. Your hand will not escape unscathed. Death to the unbeliever.

Fuuta: Another cat. I think many people are gonna be cats but like. Oh well. Very aggressive. Will bite and hiss if you so much as try to touch him within the first month of getting him. After you break down his walls though, he'll allow you to touch him with minimal grumbling. Would absolutely 100% melt into your pets, unconsciously would purr then immediately stop when he sees you chuckling. Very touch starved so he'll stare at you from around the corner begging you to pet him with his eyes. Either he's a cat or a very angry, short and loud chihuahua.

Kotoko: Wolf. Pretty obvious. She's also not your pet, more like a wild animal that you befriended but you're not sure. Kinda hangs around your house, maybe she's protecting you? Or she could be seeing if you make a good meal. You honestly never know, since you're not a professional wolf reader and neither am I. Would only allow you to touch her fur once in a blue moon, if she growls then you're better off just staying away from her. She appreciates you leaving out food and water, though you would have to bring the bowls inside often seeing how she only comes back like once a month.

Mikoto: Raccoon. Why? I don't know. It's cute, so I'm gonna forcibly smash his character into a racoon stereotype. He's probably very friendly and comfortable around you, since he's been living in human neighbourhoods for a very long time. He tried becoming the new Vincent Van Gogh by dipping his tiny grubby paws in your paint and tracking it across the floor and walls. You don't mind much, it's kinda cute. Would have lived in your kitchen cardboards if you didn't babyproof the place, so now he just visits your house every day begging for food.

John: Doberman. Has that no-nonsense and constantly tired of the stupid shit you do face, especially since your safety is number 1 to him. Probably a rescue, so he'll be very on guard against you at first, but once he starts to really trust you, then he'll simply become on guard against the rest of the world. After all, you're the stupid human that keeps stubbing their toe or falling over nothing, so obviously you need his protection against this cruel and unusual force of nature called life. Loves head scratches though, probably the only time when he lets down his guard and allows himself to relax and enjoy the moment.

Haruka: Bunny. Listen. Bunnies can die of loneliness. That's him. That's him right there. Very shy at first, but also really clingy. He probably has a lot of health issues from constantly ignoring his need for survival (is that even possible?) to potentially spend more time with you. This makes you hand-feed him, so he just does it even more. Congratulations, you are now in a dependent relationship with a very blue bunny. Clap clap clap.

Muu: Pomeranian. Turn up your thermostat all you like but this girl is never going to stop shaking. She's also the shy type, but only at first. After you make it clear that you won't harm/sell/throw her away in any manner, then she just becomes your very spoiled daughter. Constantly demands your attention and so does her body that has what I like to call "the constitution of a Victorian orphan". Try to give her low-quality dog food? She won't even glance at it. Anything less then a 100$ dog shampoo and conditioner will make her fur fall off. Soon after you take her in, you'll be spending more than half your income on her. And if you even dare try to reprimand her for bad behaviour, oh what do you know now she's sulking and whimpering and acting as if she's Y/N and you're her evil stepmother trying to sell her off to the big bad alpha werewolf mafia boss CEO of Korea.

Mahiru: Golden retriever. Not a surprise. Jumps on you the moment you get home and showers you with love. She's like happy 24/7. How does she do it? We'll never know. But hey, at least now you have a miniature sun running around your house. You'll never have to pay electricity bills again! She is quite clingy though, so be prepared to start suffocating every morning when she pounces on you. Probably thinks she's a cat that can sit on your face and lap with little problems, but she's actually a very big and heavy dog that's half your body size. So no Mahiru, you can't keep trying to sit on them. You're going to crush them with your weight. I'm not fatshaming, I'm just trying to save a life.

Shidou: Birb. What birb? Just birb. Pretty chill for the most part. Idk, I don't really know much about Shidou. Either he's a birb or a turtle. Like the type that just sunbathes in an artificial light on an artificial rock 24/7. I think he would be a parrot, maybe. One of those white/gray ones, with a bit of yellow on their heads. Are those parrots? Dunno. He vibes to music pretty well, and also shows concern through very strategically placed pecks on your skin. Similar to John, he feels as if he has to take care of your stupid human tendencies so he collects items that he thinks would be useful and brings them to you. He's just not very good at picking out which items are useful, so don't blame him when he tries to bring a frying pan and accidentally dislocates his claws or something.

Yuno: Cat. Temperamental and only acts according to their mood. Store-bought or literally auctioned off. She gives off those smarty pants vibes, like she knows how to act to increase her value. She'll be very affectionate and well-behaved at first, but when you realize she's getting more moody and haughty, you'll ask the seller. Turns out that's just her natural personality and you've been deceived, but what does that matter? She's your pet so now you're obligated to take care of her for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not. Good thing she's absolutely adorable right? Only a monster would be able to say no to that face. And when she's in a good mood... boy you better drop everything you're doing and savor what little attention she'll give you. You think she's the pet? Nah. You're the pet and she took you in.

Es: Cat!!! Again!!! Very tsundere. Similar to Fuuta, but in a much more serious manner. I'm not sure how to describe it, like imagine they will just try to walk everywhere with a ~purpose~. So with this ~purpose~ they'll walk into your lap and subtly hint that they want head pats, and again with ~purpose~ they'll walk away when your stupid ass can't understand what they want, acting as if the whole time they're this evil mastermind and that whole drama sequence was to confuse you so you'll stay on guard around them.

Kazui: Horse. Desires freedom and whatnot. How did you even get a horse. How rich are you. Not very high maintenance, well as low maintenance a horse can get anyways. He's probably the only one that I wouldn't write something goofy for. Very fast horse, but he'll try to keep things moderate so he doesn't damage your slow-ass brain. I take that back I can totally imagine him doing something goofy. Sentimental, and also kinda delusional. Wants to ride off into the sunset type shit except that he's the main character so he's just running alone with no one riding him. Speaking of which, he low-key kinda hates anyone trying to ride him but you're okay I guess since you don't try to control him much so as long as he doesn't send you flying you just let him do whatever he wants.

Jackalope: ... He's literally a jackalope. Why am I even including him. I'll lock him up in a cage and hang him from my rooftop, praying that he gets struck by lightning.

[the-dragon-hearted]

Fairy Tail but they're all on bad reality cable shows

Some Reporter Guy: So, Mavis, how do you keep yourself looking so young? The ladies want to know -

Mavis: *smiling at the camera*

Acnologia: what kind of question is that? The ladies?? Young... What - whY would you -

Mavis: Well, first you have to commit a mortal sin against God.

*Question pops up on the board*

*Both Natsu and Gajeel slam their button*

Natsu: 43!!

Gajeel: THEY ASKED FOR A PRESIDENT -

Erza: Now when baking a cake. It is important to utilize the utmost care when stirring your batter.

Jellal: babe. Babe... babe you're killing the batter. BABE! BABE, I THINK YOU DID IT! E R Z A IT'S ON THE CEILING STOP STIRRING

Mira: And on today's episode of "Help, I have a stalker" we have long-time guest Gray Fullbuster. How's the situation been going, Gray?

Gray: Ima be honest, idk how I got here.

Mira: Oh?

Gray: Yeah, Juvia said to hop in the car and I kind of just went with it.

Mira: Juvia... your... stalker?

Gray: Oh yeah she moved in. She kept breaking my locks and it was getting annoying.

Makarov: And now, our largest jackpot yet, but who will win the prize?

Cana: It's obviously me, I'm going to buy so much booze once I'm out of here

Mira: ya know, I could use a bit of extra income, just to stay safe.

Lucy: TAKE THAT MONEY AND I'LL ACTUALLY KILL YOU I NEED TO PAY RENT -

*A new question appears*

*Natsu lunges for the button and slams it*

Natsu: "43!!"

Gajeel *slamming his head": oh my GOD STOP ANSWERING, THEY ASKED FOR A SONG TITLE - WE'RE GONNA LOSE

Happy: So... Gildarts. The tests are in

Gildarts: *Nervously sweating*

Happy: You...

Gildarts: *chewing his nails*

Happy: Are...

Gildarts: *hyperventilating*

Happy: Not. The Father.

Gildarts: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Jet: Hi there everyone, and welcome back to a new episode of "Are They Gay?"

Freed: *direct eye contact with camera* Yes. There we go. Show over.

Droy: No... unless it's Jet. Like I'd kiss Jet, but like in a bro way...

Laxus: *shoves camera away*

Macao: I love woman. I LOVE woman

Jet: *behind the camera* isn't Wakaba co-parenting with you?

Macao: And? A bro can't move in and help raise a kid anymore? Come on Jet, I thought you were more progressive then that -

Natsu: *pressing the button* the answer is 43!!

Gajeel: *leaning over his stand, actively restraining himself* If you press that button and say 43, one more damn time... I will break 43 of your bones - and then eat them.

Charle: And going to rank #3 on the list of People I Hate, we have Loke.

Loke: WHAT!?

Wendy: Charle, NO-

Charle: HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID

Like: I DON'T ACTUALLY -

Charle: YOU TOLD MY CHILD ABOUT ALL OF YOUR LITTLE ONE-NIGHT STANDS YOU LITTLE SHIT-

Wendy: Im not your child! I hatched you out of an egg!

Loke: *Insulted* Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't tell her ALL of them! And I left out all the important details!

Charle: I WILL MOVE YOU TO RANK 2 SO HELP ME-

Porlyusica: *At the judge's stand, reading glasses on, skimming through summaries*

Zeref: *Takes the stand*

Porlyusica: *slamming the gavel* Jail. She was hundreds of years younger than you

Lyon: *Takes the stand*

Porlyusica: *gavel slam* Jail. She is too young for you.

Bora: *Takes the stand*

Porlyusica: *gavel slams twice* Jail. And more Jail just in case that wasn't enough.

Mest: *Taking the stand nervously* "Hi... "

Porlyusica: *stares at the camera* I want this man executed immediately. And if you won't do it I will. Look at Wendy again, and I'll skin you alive.

Natsu: *slamming the button* 43!!

Gajeel: THAT'S IT! I'M KILLING HIM!! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY YEARS I SERVE-

Gameshow host: That is correct! 43 is indeed the answer and with that, you've won the jackpot!

Natsu: *grinning* See! I knew it was gonna work eventually

Gajeel: *rolling his sleeves up* Oh fuck no you're still dying -

Jellal: Erza, maybe we should take on a self defense show instead of a baking show -

Erza: Maybe you should go make a show with your fiance.

[golbrocklovely]

i saw someone on twitter seriously have a go bc snc were focusing more on their social life than their professional life. like what? thats insane. they’ve worked 24/7 for the last 10 years. they deserve to enjoy themselves for a while.

and i have to laugh. people saying theyre going to stop watching snc and laugh as their careers fumble? babes, if they depended solely on yt views for income they’d be uploading far more frequently. besides, they have 12 million followers and easily bag a million views on a video in the first 24 hours. a few dozen fans boycotting them is not going to make even an ounce of difference. but hey, if it makes you feel better, all power to you. (“you” being those fans ofc). not to mention they have investments and other business endeavours outside of youtube. your online hissy fit will do jack shit. (again, “you/your” being those fans)

:)

i think that's the thing i find so funny about this fandom. first off almost 99% of the drama is started by twitter. or at the very least they're the loudest at all times. they also think a lot of us feel the same way as them just bc it's an echo chamber over there. so when they all start calling snc out on something or think that that everyone feels the same way, they feel like they are making an impact by saying they'll leave or stop supporting if snc don't meet their demands.

and babes, if you really aren't enjoying your time here, you can go. it's fine. no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to stay. but don't expect snc to do everything you want them to do. it's just not gonna happen.

sometimes i don't get this fandom. bc look, when i was here back in 2020/21, i got some of the backlash that the boys were facing. i understood parts of it, for sure. but there was a lot, and i do mean a lot, of extra shit that went on that made it much worse. and that side of the fandom… they cried wolf too many times. you don't get to do that repeatedly and then think that snc are gonna stick around to actually hear what you gotta say.

and especially rn, what exactly are ppl pissed off about?? bc look, you wanna say you miss when they were posting a lot more, sure. i get that. i miss them posting more often too. but you gotta also realize maybe WHY they aren't posting so much. and blaming their new gfs isn't one of those reasons.

they have explained that they basically had little to no personal life at one point, that all they were doing is working. that they didn't get to spend time with their friends or gfs bc they were working so much. sam, the man that never addresses drama, is asking fans to cool it. he full on said that he was miserable a year or so ago bc of all the stress he was under. and then colby, the man that doesn't cry ever, had a full on break down in 2022. and didn't even admit it until midway thru 2023. he doesn't read comments anymore bc they get so bad sometimes. or how about that colby even stated that he didn't even want to tell this fandom that he had cancer bc he knew how everyone would react if he went bald………. what does that tell you???? that we aren't trustworthy. that snc feel the need to pull back bc we are all toxic.

at what point do we turn the mirror on ourselves and realize hey, maybe i've taken things too far??

and reality is, a LOT of this only popped up once they both got gfs. a lot of fans say those two aren't to blame or they're not upset or they don't actually want to date snc, but at the end of the day them finding someone to love was the straw that broke the camels back. and you gotta sit back and wonder why does seeing snc happy make me upset and want to leave?? (if someone reading this is one of those fans)

bc rn, i'm more into snc than i have been in a while. i want to see them happy and healthy and enjoying life. sure, colby being in his feels (or sam even) was a fun time, sure. i love me some balcony tweets. but at the end of the day, i don't want him jaded and unable to find love again. why the fuck would i wish that on someone i love dearly??? same with sam. sure. i can joke about kat and how i want her new song to tear him a new one, but i still want him to be happy. i want him to be able to move on from his relationship with her. and that's not a cut at her. no one should be stuck feeling like shit. take it from the person that has been like that for years and still really is in one way or another: i wouldn't wish heartache on my worst enemy. so why would i do that to someone i say i care about??

but back to your ask lol

yeah, the twitter fandom thinks it's all high and mighty but it lost that spark by 2022. their words mean nothing, snc have pulled back bc that side of the fandom sucks (but also bc they want a break), and now they are facing the consequences of their actions and don't like it. womp womp. there's still almost 12 million of us babes. a couple 100 of you leaving ain't gonna do shit.

[angie-long-legs]

I wasn't there when the hotel was built, but I have to assume that the stay and food are free, because Princess Charlie intended to help people that are trapped in abusive workplaces get by without having to rely on their abusive job. And you've got a wardrobe. So not showing up at Valentino's studios and not getting paid by him does not equate to lack of the essentials.

And there is also the alternative of not going back to Valentino and utilize the time you have (that you'd normally spent filming) in a different, safer workplace and use that as your new source of income. You're a capable person, there's tons of other jobs you could get.

And you can use the time away from Valentino to get his pheromone out of your system for good. Heck, being high on party drugs is actually safer than being hooked on his stuff, all things considered. If you're gonna give up on one of those, start by giving up on Valentino, and then move on to the other stuff, if that helps you. It's not the safest way or the way the experts recommend but I'm no expert, so take what I'm about to say with a pinch of salt, but you could use cocaine or pot or [I don't know a third drug to name] to distract yourself from the struggle of going cold turkey with that absolute bitch's pheromone.

And after you've been clean from Valentino for a year and some, get a new room in a new floor at the hotel, have Niffty clean out the old one and your friends can help move you in, to eliminate the temptation of setting up a hiding place for a secret stash.

It's much, much, much, much easier said than done. It can take years. I know that and I know I probably sound hypocritical or as if I'm playing it down, but I promise I'm not. I understand how hard that shit can be. But you have a support system. You've got friends and a lover that are right there, willing and able to spend hours, days, weeks on end by your side (and no! You're not "burdening" them, they're probably dying to help you out!) and you're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. If you set your mind to it, realistically, there's nothing stopping you but yourself.

The urge to fight back on this matter was beginning to wear Angel down, the stranger's well-intentioned suggestions grating on his patience. Did they really think it was that easy? Did they think that if it were that simple, Angel wouldn't have done it already? It was one thing to be misunderstood, but to be belittled simultaneously? It was only as the spider opened his mouth, a barbed retort at the ready, that the stranger came out with their little disclaimer.

His eyes fell heavy to his feet. They weren't belittling him - they were trying to help. It didn't make their advice feel any less frustrating, but it did make him think twice about lashing out. This person, someone he didn't even know, wanted the best for him.

It was more than he deserved.

"Honey, I'm a porn star," he eventually responded, bitter and scathing. "Gettin' anotha job when yer famous in this industry don't exactly come with safe on the label."

The thick, red smoke had penetrated Angel's thoughts before he had time to register it's presence, memories of the moth's manipulation clouding the foreground of his mind. Telling him that no one else would put up with his bitch fits, that other directors wouldn't be half as lenient as Val was with him. They'd tear you apart, Angelito. You don't know how good you have it.

Arms pulled around himself, the actor sighed wearily. "Trust me: I'm betta' off with Val."

You were a street whore when I took you in, and I made you a star. And this is the thanks I get? The constant whining and complaining, and now, you think you can just leave? Oh, baby, no one out there would do what I did for you. You wouldn't last a fucking night. I know you, amorcito, I made you. Without me, you're nothing.

"Betta' the devil ya know, ain't it?"

[nonuggetshere]

demanding more humble pie au content bc i want the vessels to have a happy childhood actually

I TOOK SOME TIME TO HUNT DOWN OLD CONTENT JUST FOR YOU ANON

I rummaged through my old files and found fanfic about the first few months of life which I posted right here. It's just the Pale King being a miserable sack of shit for 1600 words straight tbh

I'm also gonna post some screenshots

For the record, WL is named Daisy and PK is named Ivory in this.

They slowly found a rhythm to their new life. While one of them would go out to hunt, the other would stay behind and look after the kids. After they're back with food, Ivory would tear them into tiny chunks that he could hand-feed to their kids, and right afterwards they'd get cleaned and groomed.

Naturally as babies they'd mostly sleep and eat, but they grew quickly and started exploring around their little burrow and playing around. Very soon, they had to expand, and the two of them turned their old burrow into more of a big cavern that Daisy filled with all kinds of plants and soft grass and moss for her kids to play on, there's even a tree or two! Their new burrow is safely hidden in the corner behind some bushes, which they felt necessary to hide after the previously mentioned attempted kidnapping.

They didn't waste any part of their prey and Ivory would use the skin, scales and bones to make tools and toys for the two children. They eventually decided to start heading for the nearest kingdom, which really wasn't that far away, to sell the access of their resources and used the geo to buy new soft lining for their burrow and lots of pillows and plushies for the kids.

Because they're gods, unfortunately, they started gaining some attention and people who wanted to follow them. After some consideration, they accepted one family to stay with them because they had kids roughly their own kids' age and they seemed to get along, so...some specialization would be good for the two. And thus eventually their little home turned into a small village, and although the two were seen as the leaders they adamantly refused to be seen as their gods, preserving to live the small humble life with their kids now that they've lived like that for a few years.

Though eventually the little village does start getting some attention.

Grimm is the cool weird uncle. And yeah, he dropped his kid off with Ghost still.

Okay less dropped his kid off with them and more like Grimmchild willingly ditched the troupe to be with their best friend when they were a little older but still

Currently, I'm thinking of including Norle in this, which he was briefly mentioned in combos with my bestie about this AU but nothing concrete was established. I just love him and he makes for a pretty great and fucked up antagonist.

Later on in the story, Secret and Ghost end up in Hallownest at some point. Got two ideas for it rn; they are either captured near the kingdom as outlaws due to some misunderstanding, or they stumble onto Hornet by complete accident and decide to help their sister get back home

(more screenshots and content are incoming on reblogs, I reached the picture limit unfortunately)

[kitsoa]

Recovery Update: June Edition~

So I've been battling chronic laryngitis for 6 months now. My rambling stories get cut off abruptly by mucus buildup and a very mild itching kind of sensation in the throat. I have to pause often. I have to speak softly. I have to hold my tongue. I have to seethe in the presence of music, unable to join in. The damage is positively psychic. The injury is a case of vocal nodules. Blisters on the chords. A little rock in the groves of the machine I've spent decades fine-tuning. It's an honest but rather strange disability that leaves me with a catalog of emotions. Because I've spent the past 4 months attacking this node through the conservative methods. Kindness. Don't talk. Don't sing. Eat these foods. I can't say I've stuck to it perfectly (ohh there's the guilt) and I'm completely missing a vital piece of my identity and income. I'm reevaluating my entire career and the systems of discipline I've built my entire dopamine cycle on (perform, perfect, provide, then praise).

And then I've given up. I will go crazy if I have to write out another question on my phone. I can't stay inside for weeks on end. I'm already talking for work why the hell am I quiet for the people I actually love? Meanwhile, I have not been able to look forward in my life beyond 2 months at a time (see these align with doctor visits!). This monster weighs over me like an anvil's shadow. And there's a choice lurking just behind me that keeps me running. Talk about a hard mode. Surgery. The doc brought it up in April as something to consider should the node continue to be stubborn. It's my very scary monkey's paw solution. Kindness isn't working, so we are going to cut it out....and hope there's little to no scarring. And hope that my chords are able to complete vibration and move in a way similar to before. And then hope that the vocal rehab brings me back to the professional level. And that the demands of my teaching job aren't compromising to the process. Fuck. This is so scary. So I'm getting surgery in July? Outpatient, general anesthesia, 30 minute procedure. Recovery is a week of total silence and then several weeks of gradual voice integration. Shit. School starts back on August 19th. Fuck. What am I doing? This is the best choice guys. It's not responding to the kindness. Everything else is looking great but this node is just there. Same size, getting in my way. The doctor didn't pressure me. He was so frustratingly neutral. But I got the reassurance I needed. He wouldn't have offered the option if it wasn't a viable choice. I've paid my dues to the situation. I'm ready to live my life again. I want to move on. Get me the fuck out of here. On one hand, hell yeah I'm cutting this motherfucker out of me and I'll finally stop having vocal fatigue and be able to sing (one day). On the other hand. I have no clue what that fucking voice is gonna sound like on the other side. That's me. That's who I am people. My identity. I'm so scared yall.

[existencebringsonlypain]

1-70 skip all needed if they make you uncomfy

*deep inhale*

LONG POST INCOMING!

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

yeah! they're lovely people

02: Who did you last say I love you" to?

probably my mom

03: Do you regret anything?

I regret many things. can I think of any right now? no

04: Are you insecure?

not really, generally

05: What is your relationship status?

single, but also a minor and aroace so it's not sad or anything

06: How do you want to die?

preferably suddenly without prior notice. that way I couldn't have regrets

07: What did you last eat?

a werthers caramel

08: Played any sports?

nope

09: Do you bite your nails?

not bite with my teeth, but I pick at them often

10: When was your last physical fight?

.....I cannot remember if I ever have fought anyone physically. don't think I have

11: Do you like someone?

I like a lot of people. romantically? no

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yea. completely accidentally at first, but at one point i thought "ha, I've come this far, I'm just gonna hold out" and then I did

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

hate is a strong word. that said, I suppose I might hate jack, cody, juan, and phoenix from school

14: Do you miss someone?

uhhhhh not really

15: Have any pets?

four cats and two dogs. three out of four cats are rescues

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

throat hurts but overall feel the same as ever. which is to say, not much.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

no. do people do that???

18: Are you scared of spiders?

not really, unless they're actively on me. theyre fuzzy and adorable

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

....no. I don't want to forget to do something and regret it for the rest of eternity

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

im aroace

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

take care of neighbors cat and otherwise sleep

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

no. might at some point tho, but adopted, and only if they're older. only one.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

ears pierced, nothing else. only one

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art, english, math

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

no. mostly because I've forgotten them. cue existential fear of forgetting childhood friends etc etc

26: What are you craving right now?

anything cold

27: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

not to my knowledge

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

never dated

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

nope

30: What's irritating you right now?

physical symptoms. am sick

31: Does somebody love you?

romantically? not to my knowledge. platonically? hopefully lol

32: What is your favourite color?

lavender. it took maybe four fifths of my life to figure that one out

33: Do you have trust issues?

if trusting too much counts, yeah

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

don't remember

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

probably random school people. I have issues with breaking down at school. usually can suppress it tho

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

no, don't think so. if you break my trust I won't give it back easily

37: ls it easier to forgive or forget?

forget. don't mind how it's pretty much never optional for me

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

nOPE

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

older than I am now

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

outside of my house? absolutely not

51: Favourite food?

actually do not know. crunchwraps from taco bell are very good. chow mein from panda express is VERY good. canned corned beef hash is great. that indian dish with the flatbread you dip in the spinach is v good.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

nope lol. some shit just happens

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

uhhhhh don't remember. probably listened to a YouTube video

54: Is cheating ever okay?

look man i'm aroace and barely even understand what attraction is. i'm not the guy to ask about this

55: Are you mean?

not intentionally

56: How many people have you fist fought?

a whopping 0, here's hoping it stays that way

57: Do you believe in true love?

nah. it's all a spectrum. how long love lasts may be longer than your lifetime, but I don't think it's infinite. then again never been in love so

58: Favourite weather?

thunderstorm. the dark kind

59: Do you like the snow?

literally never seen it irl

60: Do you wanna get married?

nope. unless it's for tax benefits

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

no that is so gross imo. you are calling me an infant. but again aroace

62: What makes you happy?

no clue, it varies and isn't guaranteed

63: Would you change your name?

eh. maybe. it'd take some time to get used to, maybe wouldn't want to put in the effort

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

I'd kiss fluffy the cat as many times as it took for her to understand its an affection thing

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

panic

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

yea. Ben D. he's great

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my brother probably

68: Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?

depends what you call deep. if this counts than whoever's reading this

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

isn't this a repeat? either way no, not exclusive to individual people anyway

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

prolly most of my friends and my parents

[withacapitalp]

Nancy for the character question ask!

favorite thing about them

BADDIE NANCY!!!!! She shoots at a demogorgon and she fights all the time for everything. I also love that Nancy cares about Mike!!! Give us more of their sibling relationship in s5 PLEASE

least favorite thing about them

Ough I think that Nancy's one track mind can really be her downfall

favorite line

“Girls this age are dumb. But give ‘em a few years, and they’ll wise up. You’re gonna drive them nuts.”

Lmao Nancy doesn't have a ton of lines that stand out to me? But her and Dustin at the snowball and her trying to help him feel better? one of the sweetest scenes in the show

brOTP

Barb and Nancy!!! Eddie and Nancy!!! give her a best friend!!!! I also really like Nancy and Robin as buds!!! Them as friends is so greatttttt

OTP

Stoncy but in general I think that Nancy doesn't need to be in a romantic relationship. Nancy needs to learn how to take care of herself in a way that isn't detrimental to everyone around her, and she needs to acknowledge her pain and work through it instead of letting it run her. Nancy and Therapy that's my OTP LMAO

nOTP

Ronance in most instances. I think it can be done, but it's rare that I actually like it

random headcanon

Nancy met Barb in ballet (they both have ballet related things in their house) Barb was terrible at it, and Nancy was really good, but they both tended to hide in the back and talk about books they were reading instead of paying attention.

unpopular opinion

Nancy's selfish. Yep I said it. Nancy is focused on what Nancy wants and what Nancy needs to do to prove herself/feel better (even though she never really feels better because she never lets herself hurt. She just wants to fix it without feeling it). There is so many moments where I'm just like girl what are you doing!!!! Nancy is so crazy focused on getting justice for Barb that she ignores NDAs she signed? Like it is pure plot convenience that she and Jonathan weren't arrested/shot for the shit they did in s2. No way on earth that wouldn't have serious ramifications. She's so angry at being put down by the men at the paper (rightfully!) that she gets both her and Jonathan fired (not rightfully!) and then doesn't care when he is upset. She does not get that he can't lose his job because his family literally relies on his income. Nancy stays with Steve when she wants to be with Jonathan because she doesn't want to be alone, and then lets him blame himself for their relationship failing? She should have been honest that she didn't want him.

I don't mind Nancy being selfish! I honestly think it's a really good thing because it is at her core. I think that she can get to self-focused from selfish as she grows, and we see that as s4 evolves, but like I hate that no one is allowed to say anything that might be seen as critical of Nancy because no many people hate her. I love Nancy!! she's super interesting to me! But Nancy is selfish, which makes sense, and makes her stay interesting to me

song i associate with them

Way Down We Go by Kaleo and Duet from the Omori OST

favorite picture of them

NANCY WHEELER FUCKING BADASS SHE IS SO IM SO OH MY GOD THE BISEXUAL FURY SHES A GODDESS SHES SO COOL

[mybrainismelted]

So I kept thinking "what next?" about my little Office AU fic I started the other day (find part 1 here)

Couldn't resist adding a little bit more to the story!

Mickey pulled away, whispering "fuck yeah, you are" as he settled back in his chair.  "Now shoo.  I gotta get some work done."  he said with a smirk.

Ian laughed and walked over to his own desk, unpacking and getting settled in for the day.

About an hour later, an hour that was filled with glances, smiles, and flirtatious looks, Mickey's phone dinged with an incoming text.  Sighing, pretty sure he already knew who it was, he picked it up.  Sure enough....

Jess:  So you seem to still be in your office.  Did you do it?  Did you ask him out?

Mickey:  Yes, alright?  We are gonna go on a date.  Don't make a big deal outta this.

Seconds later both men looked up as a loud squeal was heard coming from down the hall. 

"Shit.  Brace yourself, whirlwind incoming!" Mickey muttered.  Ian glanced at him, raised one eyebrow, and looked at the door, just as Jess came skipping through the door, and threw herself down in Mickey's extra chair.

"Details!  I need details!  Who asked who?  When are you going out?  Where are you going?  OMG are you guys like dating for real now?  I have to tell everyone!!"  She rattled off, not pausing to breathe.

"Jesus, Jess"  Mickey grumbled.  "It's not that big of a deal, ok?  We're just gonna go for dinner or something.  Doesn't mean anything."  Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Ian's face fall, just for a second, before he put a neutral face on, and shrugged in Jess' direction.

"UGH, Mickey you are the worst!  Can't you give me just a smidge of gossip?"  Jess pouted.  "You know I never get to have the juicy information first."  She looked at him with her best puppy dog eyes, but when that produced no results, she flung a pen at his head and stomped out of their office.

Watching Ian turn back to his work, not meeting his eyes, Mickey sighed internally.  "Hey, Gallager - wait 5 minutes after I leave and then meet me in the stairwell."

Ian looked up, thought for a minute, and then nodded slowly.  "Sure Mick"  he muttered.  "Whatever you say."

Mickey got up and left the office, hoping the redhead was going to actually follow.  A few minutes later, he heard the door to the stairwell open, and Ian's voice whispering "Mickey?  Where are you?"

"Down here"  he responed from the landing below.  "Get your ass down here."  He licked his lips as he watched Ian come down the stairs towards him, looking far too good for a dude who was doing nothing but walk down some stairs.

"C'mere" he breathed, pulling Ian to him, placing one hand on the back of his neck, and pulling him in for a kiss that stayed chaste and sweet for all of 10 seconds before they were licking into each others mouths, hands grabbing for any part of each other they could reach, moaning softly into each others mouths.

When they finally broke apart, both feeling the need to breathe, Mickey looked up at Ian and said "Hey, I'm sorry about Jess, and about what I said.  Didn't mean to upset you.  I just don't want her telling everyone our business.  If we're gonna do this, I want them to find out when we say so."

Ian smiled softly, and responded "S'okay Mick.  When I had a minute to think, I realized what you were doing.  I'm not mad.  We've gotta go back though... if we stay here any longer I'm not gonna make it to tonight without doing something sinful to you."

Mickey's breathe caught, and he seriously thought for a minute about saying "fuck it" and staying right there.  Instead, he pulled Ian down for one more soft, lingering kiss, then patted him on the chest and said "You go first.  I'll run outside quick for a smoke so I can say I was just on a smoke break if she asks"

Ian smiled, brushed one finger over Mickey's cheek, and ran back up the stairs, taking them 2 at a time.  "Showoff" Mickey huffed, just before he heard the door open and close above him.

When Mickey got back to their office, Ian was on the phone, and only glanced over briefly to give him a quick smile.  The rest of the day passed mostly as usual, with the addition of a lot more smiles, a bit of flirting, and the occasional touch when they passed each other. 

Neither of them said much as they were packing up at the end of the day, waiting until they were outside before Ian stopped and said "So where are we going?  Do you need to go home first?"

"Uh, yeah, I should go change, and I need to check on my cat.  There's a pretty great burger joint just a few streets from my place though, if you wanna meet there in like an hour?

"You have a cat?" Ian gushed  "Oh my god I love cats!  Burgers sounds great, text me the address and I'll see you soon."  He handed Mickey his phone, with a new contact open, while Mickey did the same.  A minute later, Ian's phone pinged with the address of the restaurant, and he responded with a silly heart-eyes emoji.

Mickey just rolled his eyes, put his phone back in his pocket and turned to leave, throwing "I'll see you soon firecrotch.  Can't wait to hear about all those things you've been thinking about."

[turtlemagnum]

i think my first exposure to AI art might've been this video where somebody was testing out this new, weird thing where they automatically generate a song using AI, and i couldnt help but feel that it was an indictment of the modern music scene that a goddamn computer could effortlessly and accurately replicate the generic swill that passes for popular music nowadays. didnt have a vocalist synthesized yet but those have been becoming a thing too, or so i hear.

i saw a little article about how the newer generations of gamers are turning more and more to retro games. as somebody technically belonging to the "newer generations" this felt self evident, as frankly most of the gaming i do nowadays is almost invariably in an emulator. i think that to a certain extent, most of the best mainstream games that are going to be made already have been, at least for the forseeable future of major developers with games made scientifically perfect for milking you for the most money possible rather than as an art form. im sure it's all gonna collapse in on itself eventually, from what i hear some of the older folks who lived through more than i have we've been here before. hell, pretty much anybody who cares even a bit about gaming history knows first and foremost about the gaming crash of the early 80s, mostly spurred on by the temporal equivalent of modern cheap asset flip garbage that floods most stores these days. it's hard not to feel like we're about to see a massive crash yet again, with the ones inheriting the earth being the little fellas, and of course nintendo. which, makes sense, their earliest history is of weathering shit just like this, of course they'd know when to spot enshittification and stay clear of it. i'm in no way saying that nintendo is exempt of being a shitty corporation, but i will say that from a business standpoint they're one of the only ones i know of that actually seem to understand the idea of sustainability on a broad scale. hell of a lot better than the likes of activision, thats for damn sure. but back to what i was actually trying to get at before i adhd tangent'd, i think it makes a lot of sense that when the majority of the shit being put on the market is corporatist, design by comittee, prefab trash with aggressive monetization and a consistent attitude of fixing any problems in patches, it makes a hell of a lot of sense that we'd go back to our roots. NES mario is the same as its ever been, has been for over 30 years, and will be in another 30. you dont gotta worry about them patching it to make it actually function as advertised, or patching it from being something you enjoyed into something you hate, or having fomo marketing based microtransaction bullshit. the most that's gonna change is that every now and again, nintendo will make the only version they give not have flashing lights for epileptic folks, or patch out mike tyson because he sucks and replace him with a white guy, and the white guy's less hard but thats ok because it's still pretty hard, and either way it's a good game, fun, and you can still find the original on rom sites and also probably ebay if you dont have a vpn but do have a disposable income, so dont worry about it. getting sidetracked again, ANYWAYS-

what i wanted to get at is that i wonder if we're gonna see a similar resurgence in other old kinds of media just like, in general, for the mainstream. like why watch the 22nd reboot of ghost busters when the originals are right there. king crimson's still good, why dont you listen to them instead of bemoaning how your new favs are problematic, even though i dont think fripp can reclaim the fag slur (im gay, i can it's fine). i've recently been watching fist of the north star and original dragon ball, ilike the m. there are books. lots of those, actually,. you can read em! if you have the attention span. i honestly think we might be seeing more and more of this, now that im looking out for it. like i see just like, random people mention how much they like prog rock or 1930s dracula. relatively normals talk about how they like lemon demon these days. those stupid aestheticized classic anime accounts on twitter get sososo many likes. can you tell im sleep deprived writing this? i can, and im writing thjis. im writing this SO HARD. send poast.

[sibyl-of-space]

Job huuuuuunt / career feelings

I'm basically facing the inevitability that I really cannot afford to try and go full-time freelancing right now. Even if I miraculously made all the connections I need at PAX and other conventions (which is unrealistic, it takes time to build up that kind of network), having an irregular income would make it almost impossible to figure out a loan repayment system that makes sense for my student loans, and those things are gonna be hanging over my head forever at that rate because I went to an expensive art school, which makes a lot of things difficult down the line. Trying to swing this would be the most short-sighted approach, which to date is basically how I've lived my life (and frankly I have no regrets about any of it) but I'm thinking now might be the time to think a little farther ahead.

I am serious about starting my own game studio in like ~5-10 years (or however long it takes). I am serious about finishing an episode of Amadeus every year for the next 5 years so that in 5 years I will have shipped a whole and complete game all by myself. No matter what the fuck else is on my plate, I am dead serious about those two things.

HOWEVER, if I want to start my own game studio in like ~5-10 years, that is going to be basically impossible if I'm still paying off my student loans. How am I supposed to deal with paying other people and figuring out business expenses if I'm still in a shitload of debt because I've been kind of pretending it doesn't exist and paying the minimum for as long as I can get away with? So I figure... shit, maybe it actually makes sense to go back to IT, and while I'm still living with my mom and saving a shitload on rent, basically live as frugally as possible and try to pay off the loans as fast as possible. I just applied to a county job where I live, and I could actually pay off my kind of massive loans in like... 2 years if I spend like I'm unemployed and work full-time.

This wasn't my favorite option but I'm warming up to it. One reason I wanted to avoid it is that I've grown SO MUCH as an artist the past 2 years because I've been working full-time ON ART; whereas if I'm working full-time doing literally anything else, such as in IT, I'm afraid I'll lose the skills I've been working so hard on (and uhh paid out the ass for). But on the other hand... shit, if I were to get a full-time job at an indie game studio, wouldn't that kind of be the same shit? Sure it would be a creative job, but it would still be working 40 hours a week on someone else's project. I still would have to develop Amadeus exclusively in my spare time/off hours. Also, frankly, the game audio job market is absolute ass, and I'm jaded to fuck and back after 2 months of trying to land something despite being - if I may be honest - insanely fucking qualified.

This is only going to work, though, if I am REALLY REALLY DISCIPLINED about working on Amadeus in my spare time. I cannot have it be a "ohhh if I have energy for it today" thing or it will never get finished. I'm making a calendar of monthly benchmarks for the game to ship episode 1 next summer, and even if I am working full-time in an IT role, I need to make sure I meet those benchmarks. Because if I ONLY pay off my loans but DON'T WORK ON THIS GAME TOO, that will be a waste of my education. I need to keep this up, no matter what.

I actually think that I can, though. Like I think this is something I can do. I have the ability to see things through when I am really, really serious about them; and I am really, really serious about this. Like I can see myself calling in to work and staying home to work on Amadeus if I have a deadline I'm not on track for.

So basically.... I might be committing to working really hard for 2 years for the payoff of a) no student debt and b) 2/5 shipped episodes of Amadeus. That puts me in a way better position 2 years out to decide what I want to do. If I can stick it out for closer to 3 years, then on top of paying off my loans, I can start building savings... and then "someday starting a game studio" starts to look more and more like a possibility.

Amadeus is my passion project, something that means the entire world to me, something I need to finish for my own personal happiness. But I also think that if, by the time I've finished it, I also am completely debt free and perhaps even have savings.... then maybe it can also be my gateway to launch that studio.

I don't know. I'm really not good at planning for the future. A 5-year plan is brand new for me and the only reason I'm considering it is because I'm serious about this visual novel I'm making. But... I think I finally came to terms with the fact that, you know, it's okay if maybe my composition skills slide a little bit while I'm working IT full-time. Because: they can, and will, come back.

I'm currently in the best cello shape I have been in my entire life, after like 8 years of neglecting cello completely. All it took was regular practicing and now it's back and better than ever. The same will be true for composition. I'm sure if I work IT full-time I will lose it a little, even if I offset that loss by working on Amadeus (which will obviously need music). But once I've paid my loans, when I'm ready to dedicate myself to it again, it WILL come back. I took meticulous notes in grad school and saved all of my most valuable homework assignments. I can re-learn it. I'm only 30 and my life is only beginning.

It's okay if I lose it a little bit, so long as I make sure to get it back.