#ie asshole who likes to draw angst and then watch as other people suffer

[astranauticus]

idk what it says about me as a person that i have on multiple occasions had people call me evil and horrible /lh because of the angst that i draw but i swear this is the first project im working on where im like. yknow what yeah i am evil and horrible huh

oh i absolutely gave myself way too much of a workload this semester but holy shit i finally have like... about 80% of that orv changgwi animatic down in concept and i am. cartoon villain cackling

[trancowboy]

Hi Charlie, I'm making a thing and I was wondering if you could help me by shraing your view about steve rogers and bucky barnes, as individual characters as well as your view of their relationship together, headcanons and such, is totally okay if you can't, but if you do I'd be eternally grateful! Thanks anyway

Pal, you basically just invited me to write a whole entire essay about these two assholes, so… I’m sorry? This is gonna get long and most likely sad.

Steve Rogers:

Steve is an asshole, through and through. He’s got a heart of gold and being a good person is in his nature, but my god is he an asshole.

He will fight anyone who does him or anyone he cares about wrong. He won’t hesitate to pick a fight and he would much rather throw some punches than have a verbal conversation/discussion.

Steve Rogers talks with his fists. He’ll fight until he physically can’t stand anymore and even then he will stand up and push himself just that last little bit.

(”I could do this all day.” Steve, my angry baby, have a seat and take a nap.)

Steve is the bisexual we deserve. I think he’s always been aware that he’s attracted to both men and women, but he never told anyone about it back in the day. He didn’t need people to have another reason to beat him up, so he kept it quiet.

(And if he paid a little more attention to certain drawings of a certain boy, then that was his business.)

I don’t think he knew there was a name for what he feels until he woke up in the future. But once he found out and learned more about it, I like to think he’d be a Proud Bi and just tell everyone he comes across because it’s okay now and he can do it.

Sure, it gets a little tiring when he answers his phone with, “Steve Rogers, proud bisexual. Hello,” but his friends get used to it and strangers get past the confusion quickly.

Steve swears. A lot. Like a whole fucking lot. I actively ignore the whole “Language” line (unless it was a joke that Steve only told because he’s tired of the ~grandpa~ jokes, which, ok, I can get behind that) because Steve Rogers has the mouth of a fucking sailor.

Steve can swear up a storm but compliment him or flirt with him or be extra nice or anything and he’ll blush like a tomato and become so awkward he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Even after all these years, Steve still feels a bit awkward in this new body of his. He doesn’t miss being skinny and sickly and tiny and on the brink of death all the time, but sometimes he doesn’t like being big and muscle-y either. Sometimes he doesn’t like how he can’t make himself invisible as easily as he used to.

Sometimes he just wants to curl up under the covers of his bed and hide from the outside world that has painted him as a person he’s not; a world that sees him as a soldier and Captain America™ rather than a human being.

He lives in a world he doesn’t recognize where everyone he ever knew and cared about are either dead or only remembers him half the time. This deleted scene from The Avengers shows just how detached to the world he feels and honestly, I have way too many feelings about that three minute video.

Steve throws himself into danger (jumping on a grenade without thought, crashing the Valkyrie, jumping out of a plane without a parachute, etc) because he doesn’t really care whether he lives or dies. He never feared death because death has loomed over him like a shadow since he was a child.

And maybe he wants death to take him sometimes. He definitely wanted to when he crashed the Valkyrie. He could have fought more, could have figured out a way to save the world and still survive, but he was tired and he just wanted it to end, so he stopped fighting.

And then he woke up 70 years later to more fighting and he just never slowed down or took a break, because if he did, he’d have to deal with how he was feeling and he couldn’t handle that. He didn’t want to deal with it because it was too painful.

While extremely heavy on the angst, Einherjar by thecommodore_squid perfectly portrays Steve’s depression. Steve in that fic is pretty much exactly how I see him.

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THINGS, SHALL WE?

Steve is a Disney nerd. He probably didn’t get to catch up on all the new Disney movies between TFA and CW, but between giving up the shield and becoming Nomad (@ marvel let me have bearded!nomad!steve pls and thanks) he probably took a breather for the first time in years and started on the list.

(Does he sit with a laptop by Bucky’s cryo freezer and watches them with him??? haha shoot me)

Steve will fight for what he believes in, no matter what. He proved that in CW when he gave up everything for Bucky without thinking twice.

And then, of course, there’s my headcanon that Steve is trans but if I dive into that, this thing is gonna end up 100k on Steve alone.

Bucky Barnes:

Bucky cares so much. He’s the guy who stood by this skinny, little punk’s side when no one else did. He’s the guy who probably worked his ass off for hours and hours just to get enough money so Steve could get healthy (or healthier) again.

He’s the guy who went through torture and trauma and had the opportunity to get an honorable discharge after what he went through, but he didn’t. Instead he followed his best friend back into war and it cost him his life and freedom and self.

But I’d bet my left foot that he’d do it all again, because he’s Bucky and Bucky cares so goddamn much about everyone but himself.

Bucky is gay. Yes, he was with women back in the day and yes, he kissed them and fooled around with them and probably got off a little, but I think he did it just because it was expected of him.

If it wasn’t because it would be suspicious to everyone else, he would probably just stay home with Steve and pine every single day.

Bucky is such a giant fucking nerd. He finds science and technology incredibly exciting. I mean, he did spend his last night before going off to war dragging Steve to the Stark Expo (and their dates but eh).

Imagine his reaction to all the science stuff he missed while being used by Hydra? He’s gonna light up like a child on Christmas. God, I love my nerd son so much.

Bucky is smart as hell and no one can convince me otherwise. I mean, “[…] having been an excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom” is proof enough.

Bucky has been through hell and back several times. He’s been wiped of his memories and himself until he was a blank slate for Hydra to do whatever they wanted to with, and it’s happened probably more times than he’s been able to keep track of. And every time he started regaining just a little bit of himself or just one little memory, the torture would start all over again.

He’s been through hell, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he suffers from a severe case of PTSD.

Bucky Barnes is a man who cares and protects and when he’s made into a weapon who kills and murders and destroys – when he himself becomes the danger, he locks himself away because he thinks that’s the best thing for everybody.

Steve + Bucky:

There’s no Steve without Bucky, and there’s no Bucky without Steve. Steve and Bucky have always been SteveandBucky, and one without the other means they’re never really whole.

They’re their own person, sure, but they’re better together. They make each other better. Bucky makes sure Steve doesn’t kill himself with his stupidity and recklessness, and Steve makes sure Bucky gets protected and cared for too.

Steve will give up everything for Bucky, no hesitation and no questions asked, and Bucky will do whatever it takes to protect Steve, even if that means hurting him in the process (ie going into cryo).

Bucky is Steve’s dark side and Steve will do anything for him.

I have mixed thoughts on who fell in love with who first. My first instinct is to say Bucky fell in love with Steve first because of all the obvious pining in TFA, but then I think about little Steve Rogers who everyone beat up and disregarded and didn’t care about getting saved by this wonderful boy who doesn’t look down on him and treats him like an equal and I think it was easy for Steve to fall in love with Bucky, so I’m just¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

It doesn’t really matter who fell in love with who first though, does it? What mattes is that they love each other unconditionally and ‘til the end of the line (and beyond cause c’mon. That kinda love is never gonna die).

To end on a lighter note, I’m gonna give you some fluffy headcanons cause I have A Lot.

Steve is the big spoon. He always has been. Bucky loved when there was a skinny octopus clinging to him and barely being able to cover him and he loves it when he’s surrounded by pillowy muscles and warmth.

Bucky was Steve’s favorite subject to draw. And even after everything, even when he hadn’t seen him for years and thought he was dead, Steve still drew him because he never wanted to forget the face of the man he loves.

Whenever Bucky talks about science stuff, he gets all excited and extra cute, and Steve always falls in love with him a little bit more.

Same for when Steve talks about art or literally anything he’s passionate about. Steve could talk about poop and piss for an hour, and Bucky would be making heart-eyes at him the whole time.

Steve used to wear Bucky’s shirts all the time. His excuse used to be that he was too lazy to do laundry, but really, he just liked wearing Bucky’s clothes. (Bucky never minded.)

Clothes sharing is a Thing with these two. It’s a Thing that happens a lot and no one can convince me otherwise.

Bucky loves having his hair played with and Steve loves to play with Bucky’s hair.

Bucky has always loved dancing. That doesn’t change over the years, and he will make Steve dance with him again. (”I don’t care that the serum didn’t fix your two left feet, Stevie, dance with me.”)

When they finally do get together (whether that was before the war or after TWS doesn’t matter) Steve never wastes an opportunity to tell Bucky he loves him, and Steve takes every chance he can to kiss him because now he can.

Steve was probably the one who made the first move.

Steve is a little shit and Bucky loves him even when he’s being Extra and Dramatic and even when Bucky’s exasperated with him. Steve can be as much of an asshole as he wants to, because Bucky will always love him.

Bucky loves flirting with Steve just to see Steve blush bright red. (Sometimes Bucky will just casually put his hand on Steve’s butt or boob and Steve will become Captain Tomato.)

Steve will fucking fight anyone who says anything bad about Bucky.

Conclusion: Give these boys some hugs and a happy ending, please and thank you.

Anyway, I’ve got a ton more Thoughts but this is already so stupidly long, so I’m gonna stop there. Hope this was helpful (was it??? idk) and thank you for letting me ramble on about these two fuckers.

PS, tell me more about your thing or link me, maybe, if you wanna 👀

[aeschylusresigned-blog]

all of them

((I’m guessing you mean the mun thing because I didn’t reblog anything else and if not and you’re just sending all of them out of context then wh o o boi I just put myself through An Ordeal for nothing.

☯ Is there a muse you’ve always wanted to play?

Yes! Nepeta!!!! I’ve always wanted to play her but I don’t have the confidence because I lack proper grasp of her character.

♣ Is there an author(s) that you look up to with your writing skills?

Ooo yes definitely. Beloved, for one, has the most amazing prose I have ever seen. I’ve learned a lot from their writing and I still aspire to someday be able to write something as breathtaking as their works. Quenive as well has spectacular writing and their stories and dialogue flow so well and j u st ohmy g od.

♧ Is there an RP partner(s) that you credit for becoming a better writer?

Definitely. I would say it was all of the people I’ve roleplayed with before that allowed me to develop Hal so much. The people in my old group chat definitely helped me flesh out different aspects of Hal that I could play (ie: sadist demon while still managing to be an angsty know-it-all) and the spontaneous connections on parp really helped me figure out how to play Hal in stupid situations while still keeping him ic.

♥ What’s your favorite ship with your muse?

Ha ha h a,,h,a,,,,wh ee zes

♡ Would you ever write a poly ship?

If anyone were actually interested in writing a poly ship with me, then yes definitely.

♦ What’s an AU that you’ve always wanted?

Oh boi there are just s o  m a n y. That one godstuck au maybe. That would be fun to play out. Also the generic vampire aus I am weak for them. There’s also the au’s I’ve made that would be fun to play out but they’re difficult to explain. Merstuck au’s are also amongst the favorites to play along with dragon rider au’s I love me my fantasy genre. Whoops that was more than one but listen ok I want a lot of AU’s.

♢ What’s an AU that you think just won’t work with your muse?

Hmmm I’m not sure. I can’t think of any at the top of my head but any AU that revolves around Jake probably wouldn’t work well with Hal.

♔ What’s your opinion on teacher/student verses? Do you have any of these as threads?

I’m not personally a fan of them and I can’t say I see the appeal but if that’s what rocks another person’s boat then I’m not going to be the one hating on them. As of the moment I don’t have any as threads.

♕ Do you like magic!anons? Why or why not?

Yes!! They’re a lot of fun and I always think throwing the unexpected at my muses is the greatest thing ever. 

⚜ What is the best time to write for you? Why?

Late afternoon or evening because that’s the time I’m awake and Functional and have actually thought of Creative ideas to write.

★ What type of historical AU would you like to do one day?

Maybe something based on the Renaissance period? Or the classic medieval period. Ancient Greece would also be fun to play out.

☆ What type of fantasy AU would you like to do one day?

There are many. Just, anything that is fantasy I probably want to do it. I’ve never really tried the whole AU with the fae/faeries so perhaps that would be fun to look into.

☄ Do you think your muse would have liked going to high school sports games? Do you or did you go to high school sports games?

Nope, he wouldn’t be interested in the actual sport. Going to see hot guys though? Definitely. I don’t generally go on a day to day basis because I understand like nothing. If a friend wanted me to go or a teacher was giving extra credit for me to then yeah I’d go.

☾ Do you like writing smut? Why or why not?

I have actually never written smut so I can’t really say. I think it’d be difficult for me to having had no experience whatsoever with anything relating to smut.

☽ Do you like writing angst? Why or why not?

Yes and no. Yes because I love to make my muse suffer and it’s great and fun to throw Tragic headcanons to my rp partner and to watch them suffer(not really) a well. No because,, I am a simple person,, who wants my muses to be happy,, and roleplaying angst fucking h u r t s.

☼ What’s an FC that you’re dying to use? Why?

Uhhhh???? I don’t really have one of a Real Life Person but I pretty much draw my own interpretations of Hal so? That probably counts maybe. 

☀ What’s an FC that you desperately want to play with? Why?

See above.

☁ What’s an FC that you refuse to play with? Why?

See also above. 

☂ How does your muse spend a rainy day? How do you spend a rainy day?

Napping against the window sill lulled to sleep by the gentle patter of rain falling upon the glass is how he spends a rainy day. I, on the other hand, spend it indoors on my laptop like I do every single day.

☃ If your muse was cartoonized, what would their FC be? Why?

???????

☺ What’s a character that you desperately want your muse to play with? Why?

Any of the robots. Literally any. I hardly ever get interactions with any of the robots it’s kind of sad.

☹ What’s a character that you refuse to play with? Why?

There aren’t any I would refuse to play with but there are some that I prefer to not interact with. This is due to the fact that either I or my muse or both dislikes the character and roleplaying with them would actually require more effort on my part.

☢ Are there any ships that you would like to write for one day? Any that you wouldn’t?

There are definitely ships I would like to write for one day because I’m a sucker for that really. There are also ships I wouldn’t but I’m not going to get into that because I don’t want to be involved in The Discourse.

☣ What’s one thing that will make you drop a thread?

If a mun godmodded my character or forced their character onto mine, probably.

♨ What’s a muse that you wished had lasted, but didn’t?

Mmm can’t really say I have one. All of my main muses stuck with me. I guess there were my OC’s that I used to rp with my friends but it’s not that much. I do wish that my friends and I could have lasted in rping with each other tho.

❀ Do you like reblog karma? Why or why not?

Assuming I have the correct definition of reblog karma, yes. It’s nice because it’s like a win win scenario. Everyone gets asks in their inbox and it’s kind of just polite y’know? Like a tip of the head “I see you like this rp meme just as I do so I’ll send you something so we both can enjoy it.”

✿ Do you have a mun FC? If so why did you choose that as your FC, and if not who would you choose?

Nnoot really? I have my own drawings of how I depict myself through my art if that counts.

♪♩♫ Does music inspire your muse? What’s one song on your playlist that reminds you of your muse?

Sometimes but not really. He doesn’t listen to music for inspiration, more of to fill the gaps of silence that occasionally settle in. Gasoline definitely reminds me of Hal. Definitely.

✂ Do you like to format your posts? Why or why not?

I like when other people do because it’s aesthetically pleasing and it’s so nice and spiffy. I, personally, don’t like to because it’s a pain in the ass and I only have so much patience.

✆ Other than RPing, what’s a hobby of yours?

Drawing! My icon and header is drawn by me so-

✉ Do you RP on any other platforms?

Does Parp count? Sometimes I use cherubplay too but not too often because the people there intimidate me.

❤ Have you or are you currently in love?

Romantically, probably not if you get what I’m hinting at. ;)

❥ Has something ever happened for you to hate a ship? Why?

Hoooo boi you can bet on it. Let’s just say an extended encounter with a really Toxic Roleplayer And Person In General has led to me disliking basically any ship involving a certain character.

ツ Who has been your favorite muse to play so far? Why?

Hal because he’s such an asshole I love it. I don’t generally get to be mean but man with Hal I can be as petty as I want.

回 Which muse was the worst to play? Why?

There was this once I tried to roleplay Dave and it just. It went terribly wrong I had no grasp on his character and I still don’t. Never again.

✘ People come in a group. If I were to look on your blog, who would I see you interacting with the most?

@timaeustestbed this one. This one @documentingsatan has also been taking up a lot of blog interaction lately too. Though they’re both the same people.

ღ Do you have a personal blog? Do you share it with your followers or do you keep it private?

I do! It’s linked right on my “mun page” lmao.

▼ Do you keep your character in character even if they are one of the worst people in the world?

I would like to think I do because Hal is objectively one of the worst people in the world. Though, I’ll admit I do a lot of justification for Hal’s actions from Hal’s point of view because Hal doesn’t see himself as a villain. Just a terrible person. I am also very soft on Hal and he probably acts happier than he should.

▽ Why did you create this muse?

True story but when I finished reading Homestuck I was like “shit I need to pick a character to roleplay” because that’s just what I did. I like to roleplay and Homestuck was such a large fandom that it was bound to be Fun to roleplay. There were many Failed and Subpar attempts to rp some characters on parp and I just couldn’t find a character that clicked, y’know. I tried John, Dave, Karkat, Jade, Rose, Dirk and just nope. And then. On a random spur as I scrolled through the available options in the Parp menu I saw “Lil Hal.” Of course, at the time, I only clicked it because I had thought I exhausted all other resources and if I fucked up everyone else why not fuck up this character I knew nothing about it (and I mean literally nothing about. I used to hate when Hal started talking in the comic because I thought it was so damn annoying). But surprise I was?? I was good at rping him?? People liked my shitty depiction of Hal. So I read more about Hal and how to play him and he just grew on me and here I am today.