#idonthavetotry

[rashidablackfeather]

When you grow up, inside more than out, you realize that the ones who do cartwheels to get your attention are just battling codependency issues that they haven’t resolved, and you’ll kick yourself for ignoring or mistreating the ones that gave you the space to grow and heal in your own way while remaining confident enough in their own skin to know their boundaries and keep their distance until you’ve had the time to heal those fresh wounds. I’ve been both the codependent one, seeking validation in healing others, and the one that felt like an idiot for ignoring the one whose heart bled for me in silence as I was let to heal at my own pace. I came to realize that they were waiting on me to heal myself while I was busy looking for someone to heal. Neither path (looking to heal or be healed by someone outside of yourself) leads to joy. I promise. Give me until December. If the people that pretend to love me don’t sabotage me again before then, I’ll be okay by December. That’s what I tell myself at least. I’ll give you until December, too. But, I won’t make any promises, As that’s not a lot of time, And everything is always up in the air. But, while life may be a circus, I’m nobodies trick pony. You’re not gonna ride out this wave of sorrow on my energy. I don’t allow that anymore. . . . . . . . #healersofinstagram #generationaltrauma #healing #selfawareness #codependent #glamourshots #codependency #bpd #ptsd #youseeme #itsfebruaryagain #iamworthy #icanbehappy #selflove #empathy #angrypoem #lovepoem #strength #iknowbetter #stillgrowing #neversecondbest #idonthavetotry #humbleenough #iwilldobetter #learnfromyourmistakes #yourloss #witchesofinstagram #prophetic #pagansofinstagram #shadowwork https://www.instagram.com/p/BtdHJt2HzCI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8ll0gtx7mee6