#idont know how to deal

[friendlyengie]

I think one of th things with soldier is that a lot of the times ppl just put him at his Maximum Everything. Maximum idiot maximum LOUD. But the thing is hes not really at 100 all of the time. Hes a very 0 to 100 type character. In the comics at least. Like i remember rereading the first comic and just sort of being fascinated by how he Is. Chill isnt really the right word but I dont know how else to explain it.

“The heart makes its own rules” what are you saying.

Anyways i think part of soldiers whole thing is that he operates in his own world on his own rules. He will say shit so casually or matter of factly but hes not always screaming it. Sometimes hes just. Saying things. With a tone that could convince you he knows what hes saying until you register the words and realize he is saying nothing sentences to you.

[29121996]

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[hyunsvngs]

hiya juno sooo i had a hard piss thought if you wanna read

(this can be ot8 x reader orrr reader x jisung with skz in the car? whichever youre more comfortable with ofc) (also readers gender not specified) (also not 9th member just members partner)

So reader in the car (a van for everyone) with the rest of skz and oh they have to pee, and BAD. what better idea than to ask little sungie to drink it all up for them cuz they wont have another stop for a while and its bad manners to get to an event and immediately ask for a bathroom, and plus, youve got a little urinal right there! ofc he'll drink it all up like a good boy he is but now youve got to deal with him being hard and needy infront of everyone :((

-moose anon <33

YNDER THE CUT BC MAYBE THIS IS KIND OF HEAVY??? IDONT KNOW ITS HOT THO

“open,” jeongin grunts, soft cock between his long fingers. you’re squirming on your own seat when jisung’s lips part, his fingers scrabbling for purchase on jeongin’s thighs as jeongin pushes his cockhead between his lips. there’s a pause, and then a groan as jeongin starts to let go, the stream flooding jisung’s mouth as he gulps it down diligently. “ah, hyung, yes. drink it, drink it all.”

he’s such a piss slut, your boy. you can see how hard he is in his pants, grabbing at the fabric and attempting to alleviate some of the pain, but he still lets jeongin relieve himself in his mouth. you know what’s next. he’ll wiggle over to you and attempt to get your pussy in his mouth, attempt to suck you dry of your own piss, and you can’t wait.

jeongin’s finished, but jisung’s laving his tongue over his cockhead eagerly, eyes wide and desperate. seungmin’s hand envelops in jisung’s hair, yanking his head back. “don’t be such a fucking slut, jisung,” he chastises, eyebrow raised. “there’s other people in this car needing to piss. you can suck cock later.”

“but i want- now-“

“jisung, baby,” you cut him off, fingers pulling your skirt up. you’re not wearing underwear and honestly you’re so desperate that you were going to piss into a bottle, but jisung’s wriggling himself out of seungmin’s grip as soon as he sees your pussy. you’ve dribbled a little bit already, and you sigh when jisung’s head is finally between your thighs, licking up the tiny bit of piss on your pussy. “mm, ready? i got some for you, baby.”

“mm, wan’it,” his voice is muffled, but you nod, and then you’re pissing. the stream fills jisung’s mouth up easily, and you hear chan groan, shifting in his own seat. jisung keens into your folds and you realise hyunjin’s shoved a hand down the front of jisung’s joggers, fingers wrapping around his cock.

“if i don’t make him cum, he won’t leave us alone,” hyunjin explains, lips plush and almost too pink against jisung’s neck. “i’ll make you cum, sungie, just drink your piss and be quiet.”

[neotrances]

rarity is the only answer here, ever since learning applejack is racist idont see her the same so she’s off the table bc she might let the republican mask slip after four shots, twilight would be a stressed depressed drunk and start ranting and crying just ruining the vibe , pinkie pie would be too much to deal with and get u arrested, fluttershy would be ok but only slightly more talkative than usual and would probably stop after one or two drinks but rarity? rarity hammers back glasses like a champ and knows how to gossip and has a high tolerance so she can still drive u home when u get shit faced

[borderline-culture-is]

bpd culture is splitting hard and angry and wanting to hurt them and make them regret making you feel this way wanting to lash out and scream and tear but no. not again. i dont know what to do itll explode one of these times but this time ill delete the messages before she sees them . idont want to deal with this anymore how do i escape

-🐍

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[mirror-imaged]

idont think anybody understands sheffbrien the way I do (insane) I'm sorry they're literally so bad for each other (affectionate) I could go on and on forever. I will actually. sheffbrien post be upon ye. thanks to ashe for talking about this w me on discord. this is a kinda obrien centric post bc of that loll but I'm obvi getting into sheffields whole deal too

having reread tc22 again and done some literary analysis a few days ago on a plane at 2 in the morning (I'm out of the country rn helloo ^_^) I picked up on a lot of thematics for them I find very interesting. long post ahead!

1 - the dynamics in their relationship are so wildly interesting. I think their characterization in tc22 does wonders for them. firstly, there are a lot of false differences id say? they seem so different, but when you boil it down they have a lot in common. sheffield is affluent and intelligent but has a spiteful and hotheaded side, obrien is seen as angry or rude but is taken for granted with his intelligence quite often by others. he got into an ivy league school at 17. there's also how sheffield seems so charismatic while obrien is abrasive and lonely, but they both really have no other friends when you get down to it? and last example for now, sheffield sees himself as divine while obrien seems to have renounced religion, but he really hasn't done the work of removing his mindset from a catholic(?) framework. expanding on that,

2 - obrien has religious trauma and this is heavily established. he doesn't actually ever move past religion as a concept though, he just moves on from God. he replaces his concept of God with his concept of his sister. more on this later. sheffield also has a relationship with religion, but more in the sense that he inherently sees himself as something unlike humanity, something greater and to be revered. he refers to himself as an angel in a way that doesn't strike me as being ingenuine the way he does in other places. I need to draw art about this it makes me abnormal

3 - for obrien specifically, there are some insanely interesting threads left about his trauma creating a savior complex within him. obviously shown at the start of the story with professor harris, but there are also the times he mentions going into genetics due to his guilt and wanting to entirely eliminate the disease that disabled his sister and when he says he feels an involuntary sympathy for stella when he found out she didn't mean to kill harris. it also makes me wonder if that plays into his protectiveness of sera later on.

4 - obrien has some severe internalized ableism going on that I wish more people actually picked apart. I know tc22 is a small scale story and a lot of people haven't read it, but it's fascinating stuff. he obviously grew up with the mindset that his sister was somehow contagious and describes how he felt he would somehow fall ill because of this, and that sort of mindset does a lot to dehumanize somebody in a person's mind. after eventually passing on an illness to her that results in her death, he is driven entirely by guilt as a character. he becomes certain that if God were fair and true, he would have died instead of her. but, like I mentioned before, he never really renounces religion in any specific way aside from this. he even mentions how he now prays to his sister instead of God, which I think is so fascinating. he never saw his sister as a person, and by elevating her to this status of somebody he needs to grovel to or even just uses as a holy figure in his life, he continues to see her as inhuman. he recognizes his past ableism, but he never does anything to deconstruct and rebuild from it. much like with his relationship with religion!

5 - obrien is treated by dds2 as the morally virtuous character, but he's really not (if you get the context from tc22). my boyfriend put it as him being just on the right side of history, which I absolutely agree with. I know tc22 was probably written after dds2 and doesn't necessarily inform the writing decisions for the games, but it definitely adds juicy layers to me. obrien is seemingly not motivated by any true desire to help sera or the nameless sufferers of CATCH22, he is motivated by the guilt from his sisters death hanging over him like a shadow. not to say he doesn't care at all, but it seems more like a quest to make up for his sins in the eyes of his sister than a desire to do good, which seems awfully catholic to me. this is absolutely the most interesting part of his character presented by the narrative. God I wish they did this better in the games.

6 - moving on to sheffield, sheffield is actually one of the most interesting and real depictions of a character with NPD traits I've ever seen, hands down. I know I talk about this frequently, but it's especially strongly done in tc22 and one of my favorite parts of his character. to start, he's mostly presented with extremely minor and often-masked aspects of the disorder a lot of people don't really pick up on. vouching personally. he quickly becomes passive aggressive and seemingly personally offended when challenged, like by inspector Harvey for instance. he is a practiced and seemingly compulsive liar, able to make things up on the spot that nobody but obrien questions due to his confidence. he seems to get along swimmingly with people he doesn't know well, charismatic and understanding. he pays exceptionally close attention to other people's emotions, expressions, and demeanors to adjust and match theirs. he also is debatably depicted with real delusions of grandeur. he only seems to be able to let his guard down around obrien, actually. and my absolute favorite moment of his, really relatable for me, is that when he stops masking he does not become dangerous. he does not go into a rage, he just goes blank. entirely and visibly unable to express emotion "normally", and obrien is initially scared, but realizes he just doesn't understand sheffield as well as he thinks he does. this is incredibly accurate to real life for me. it's actually insanely well depicted. and what I really appreciate is that sheffield is never presented as truly malicious [IN THIS STORY]. with dds2 context, he can be seen that way for sure, but he isn't actually shown being morally reprehensible. he's dubious and seems to have trouble understanding where he crosses a line, but that's also very true to real life for me. he isn't necessarily trying to be evil, he's just nosy and invasive of boundaries on occasion. they also never actually label him as or call him a narcissist, which is so good?? props to tadashi for once?? I think he is one because I have the disorder and can more accurately assess this sort of thing, but labeling every character who's like Abusive as a narcissist is so tacky and distasteful to me. it diminishes the harm they inflict on other people as being something born of mental illness, which isn't necessarily true. he is definitely abusive to sera, but that is not related to his narcissism.

7 - sheffield is just such a good character in this. I raved already about his npd stuff but I want to get into other things a little too. firstly, he does seem to genuinely view himself as inhuman, which is something I also believe contrasts obrien a little. obrien has this deep internalized self hatred, while sheffield has this genuine belief he is on a different level from other people. despite this, he sees obrien as being his Equal in some way. as being worthy of his presence, his assistance, his friendship. the pizza scene really really drives this home for me. (that's another subtle npd ass trait but I've said enough). in addition, sheffield tries so desperately to present himself as worthy of something more, maybe backed by doubt, or maybe even just true belief. he tries to appear intimidating, has knowledge of how to get into people's heads, etc. maybe this is because he's young and people see him differently for being so ahead of his grade, but I also see it as a display of insecurity in an implicit way. his delusions of grandeur also play into this characterization, because delusions of grandeur are often born from extreme and severe self doubt (at least in those with mental health disorders, which I've already mentioned I believe he strongly aligns with). him coming from a wealthy background in Portland of all places would not help any of that kind of thing.

8 - i don't even know what else I could say about them. they make me so abnormal. not even a toxic romantic relationship between them (which I do like think about but obviously post tc22 I don't like their age gap) but simply their dynamic as two characters. sera is a figurehead for their conflict, really. all the things we learn about both of these characters really makes me question how much BOTH of them care for sera, not just sheffield's two-faced lies. she is representative of their ideological dispute. she is a small child who has the potential to save the world, but obrien is too scared of letting another child die as a result of his inaction and sheffield is too focused on his end goal of getting what he believes he deserves, divinity and becoming a revered savior of the world, no matter who falls along the way. they are built to contrast each other. you even see this through heat and serph to a degree, with how sera mixed them up. heat declares he is on the same level as God during the jp text of the vritra fight, while serph inevitably sacrifices his own life for the sake of sera.

9 - what happened between tc22 and the dds2 flashbacks? I actually need to know what caused their relationship to split so heavily. I'm fucking obsessed with them. post over please join my sheffbrien Island there's like 2 other people here

[shslquestionmark]

idont know my parents alwyas say "no you are Normal there is Nothing Wrong With you you Attention Seeker" but i have never seen anyone about anything so um. anyone's guess

I was just kidding around before, but I'm not now. Your feelings are valid. If you feel anxious, you're dealing with anxiety. You need no more validation than that. It makes me sad that your parents say these things, because it makes you feel like you can't trust yourself or your own feelings. I know, because that's how it was for me, too

[saunteringdownward]

And. Idont say that lightly but since I was about 10? Ish? My mother has controlled every single aspect of my life. Don't be out too late. You can't go on holiday with friends or alone. Don't you dare drink. You have a curfew now btw have fun having no life as a 30+ year old because you have to be in by six because its 'not safe'. No going to gigs or shows or plays or musicals because you can't be out that late...

She had a CONNIPTION when I told her I was going to London for Macbeth over my birthday for two nights. How are you going to get around? You can't stay out late especially not in London because you'll get attacked or killed. You can't possibly cope on your own but I will make no offer to come with you or help you to cope.

Wow its almost like she projects her anxieties onto me, (always has,) and expects me to have as dull a life as she does. Well I'm sorry, I'm not gonna stand it anymore. (Pff as if I'm brave enough to stand up to her anyway. This is all hypothetical, we all know ill back down cos im terrified of her)

She basically wants me to be a live in carer for her and the dog and I can't and won't do it when her husband is right there and if she needs carers that badly then there's the NHS and council. I'm not gonna end up like my bff caring for my mother and having no life whatsoever and having to put my entire life on hold including my marriage and having kids which I dont want personally but it's an example how needy anxious parents who won't deal with their own issues rope their kids into caring for them and perpetuating generational trauma etc.

Like sorry you spent your life caring for your sick parents mum. Couldn't be me, not when I have all the health problems I have myself. Sorry.

[labratboygirl]

hi pax i have a secret admirer what do i do. you seem like you would know what to do in this Sitch.... (cool slang for situation)

IDONT KNOOOOOOWWWW i dont know how to deal with feelings plus i have never had a secret admirer before …….um just hope they dont start saying shit about wanting to crack yr skull open i guess (<- that is a reference . to something . i am being humorous

[gayspock]

ugh

its like i try not to be so pathetic about it but fuck it man i dont know. i guess iwas already spiralling again but its just... every time justrandom strangers decide to harass me its just like. ok. itws not that im even taking it personally like i genuinely dontcare what theyre saying no matter how persistent it is. its just that thatsthe only interaction you ever get. and i dontknow. something something ifeel like im always either completely fucking invisible to people or just... the vastmajority of people in this world think youre weird. or dislike you on principle for tenbillino things i cant fucking balance at once on top of the rest of it. and like i mean it wheni say the majority. like i genuinelyjust feel so fucking disconnected every time someone tries it with the "nobody is judging you"horsehsitwhen its like this isnt... me being fucking delusional here it keeps. happening. it happens so regularly. and not just ppl bothering me on the street. i feel like everywhere i go or everytime i try to integrate into somesort of place irl it just.... slowly slowly slowly i feel like peoplejust think im really fucking stupid and assume i cant tell cuz yeh i cant tell a lot of things but like. dude i can catcdh the snide remarks. and like everytime i start thinking about it-starty thinking about trying to get out there again- it just all comes back to me. likeiwant to fucking think people are nice and not maliciousand i think mostly theyrenot but i just i dont know. ive managed to exist inthat little pocket of freak that i cant get the fuck out of and i think ... do you ever feel so fducking dehumanisedall the fucking time and itsjust like. genuinely imtrying not to be pathetic about it. but why dontfucking people care man why dont people actually fucking care i mean for real i mean idont expect them to CARE-CARE but whatswrong with me why am i such fair fucking game im not trying to be a cry baby little victim i jsut. i dont get ti its jsut over stuff i cant deal with and i dont expect people to liek me i just. i dont know why it has to be genuinely so funny to everyon e like. i dont know again. isometimes think about triyng again and trying to date or do anything fucking remotely normal but something something..... evenif you manage with the rest of it, the already way too fucking hard part of pulling yourself together, how much more is there to to dealwith. becauseits one thing to just. handle it when its like some people or a small percentagebut i jsut feel like ... i dont know man . i dont know who im not a fucking joke to on some level and something somehtign. i think im going to be alone forever becausetheres too many things ot fucking overcome and e and like. andits already so fucking difficult exisitng and if i have to bealone i wish i was just. alone. properly. sometimes instead of it always jsut being like this. andits like baby mode shit.

like i dontknow why man. why can somepeople just walk down the street and not getpestered . the same as always.why do you haveto work so so fuckinghard and it never to even matterwhen everyone else can just. exist. and ifeel like . i dont know. ive been feeling so fucking revolting recently cuz i cant getit together and redacted and et cetera and i just i feel like im fucking delusional hiding onlineall the time and triyng not to think about it but then it htis again the second i try to goback to reality or go into work or anything ifeel so fucking disconnected and out of place and i jsut. its already fucking bad enhg is my point why is it like. actively fucking funny. to people. why is it so fucking funny. i dontknow. or the people who whisper about how youre so sad and quietlaughter about how theyve never heard you talk about anyone or seen you talktoanyone and its like pleasewhy g away fucking come on i know itslike i know i just. its even the people who are meantto be "accepting"

. i dontfucking know. whatever over and out i stink of fucking juice after ive been sprayedwith it for like 40 minutes straight on the bus and afterive beentrying to pickapart some. Comments. sent my way and after this and that and during the whatevwer the fuck neverending fucking cycle of just feeling like i dont know what to fucking do with myself everand this and that and why am i always just a fucking joke to peoplewhy what the hell is on my head THE SPIRALLLERRRRRRRRRR and im actually fucking crying about it cuz i was sat there thinking about offingmyself already

[emypony]

Honkai Idol AU

this is all ur fault @spectral-claws IDOL FELIS BE UPON YE

I will now proceed to go ahead and post my rambles, thank you to @izzyandviolins for letting me ping her all the time and just dump all the brainrots I have whenever

Idk how much sense these will make AND i will put more specific stuff at the end for everyone else who would just like the general AU idea at the start

DISCLAIMER I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IDOLS OR KPOP GROUPS ASIDE FROM A VERY OUTSIDER PERSPECTIVE OF WHAT I SEE ON MY DASH 🙏

EDIT: This actually got hella long so I will be putting it under a read more, oh my god I am so sorry

Now for the groups:

1. there's obviously our 4 main girls: Kiana, Mei, Bronya and Fu Hua

Himeko is the coach / choreographer, Tesla makes props and Einstein does Costumes / Makeup, Welt is the Manager (this is REALLY. im well aware theres a ton more ppl behind idol / kpop groups but you know its just. ITS JUST WHAT IT IS WITH THE CHARACTERS THAT WE HAVE, OKAY)

2. Senti's main group consisting of!! Senti (obviously), Sirin (HoV), Seele, Veliona (they're a package duo), Sushang and Carole (yes she is here, no I will not elaborate --- ok maybe I will)

3. A few flamechasers: Pardofelis (which is a!!! New Idol!! She's the main focus of this group atm since the stans love her to bits--- catgirl charm. I promise there is a reason for this statement) Elysia, Eden, Mobius (I am not that familiar with her so she would either be part of the group OR maybe act like the on-set medic or whichever), Sakura, Vill V AND Aponia (maybe, there's a 5th group I'm thinking about however it's kind of still an idea so I will leave her here for now)

4. The GuysTM: Kevin, Su (the most marketable out of all of them), Kalpas (shocking, I know. I hc he's in gacha debt from genshin impact) and MAYBE Adam and Lyle but only bc Carole is there I'm putting them with a ?

I don't know where to fit Kosma, Griseo and Teri or Durandal and Rita (im sorry fellas im not that acquainted with them but you're 100% free to suggest something for them)

Now a bit about relationships between members of the groups or other groups:

Seele and Bronya are Dating so Seele (and by extension Veliona) are always hanging out with Bronya's group (though Veli might stay behind sometimes because she gets on relatively alright with Senti)

Sirin and Senti have a one sided rivalry from Sirin because she wants to prove she's the best and always challenges Senti to dance battles or. whatever it is that Kpop / Idols do (idont know dont ask me) but Senti is distracted by her own one sided. Rivalry (and it is NOT towards Fu Hua LOL) They're just dummy but they are a nice combo together when dancing

Speaking of Senti and Fu Hua, I see them like a past dance Duo that was supposed to compliment each other however after Senti was mostly cast and categorized by the fans as a twin / copycat of Fu Hua, she got fed up and went to develop her own solo style. things were mostly tensioned between them however Fu Hua doesn't hold resentment over what Senti did and she also feels like her new spot with Kiana, Mei and Bronya is better, and she also really likes Senti's own evolution apart from her own. Whenever Senti gets dragged along to Kiana's group and meets up with her, she's a bit awkward, but Hua is able to get past that and manages to get her talking (Senti doesn't start a conversation when they meet up, even if she does seek out Hua more than Hua herself, although she doesn't mind. It doesn't take much to go "so what's the recent idol group news" and then Senti goes off abt things the media reports on and other things and. she just starts talking and doesn't stop. Hua listens and gives advice but mostly lets Senti talk about whatever she's dealing with and maybe figure things out on her own by voicing them out loud. She values her as a more awkward friend (compared to her original hard go getter attitude from when they were a duo together) so she doesn't mind listening to her (mostly funny and unhinged) rants about the world of idol / media since she doesnt keep up with whatever drama is going on

+ Senti has got a funny friendly rivalry with Kiana at least and they're able to enjoy themselves ((compared to Sirin and Kiana who have REALLY got their own more serious rivalry))

Mei hangs out with Ely and Eden frequently enough to hold a friendly relationship with them as well as the rest of the flame chasers group and the guys. Elysia keeps begging their managers to let Mei Collab with them much more often.

Carole and Fu Hua go way back before their Idol days and Carole isn't shy whatsoever in jumping Hua whenever she gets the chance. She's way more into fashion and makeup and skincare and all of that and while Hua loves that she's so energetic, she can get a bit much but thankfully Carole knows when to step back a little and focus her energy beam on someone else. (They are great friends that don't talk on the daily but they can catch up without issues)

Li Sushang has a more ... mmm whats the word. Cordial? Relationship with Fu Hua? I'm a bit lost where to place her, mostly because I see her as Fu Hua's dance duo that didn't work out so she got relocated to another group better suited for her style. Unsure if this was before or after Senti teamed up with Hua, but Sushang does hold a bit of animosity towards Senti for that (nothing too bad, but she does wonder how the hell could they have been a dance duo when Senti seems like the complete opposite of Hua in regards to what she does - because she is a little bit crazy at times especially if left alone with Carole). They do have a general ok relationship and Sushang enjoys hanging out with everyone

Senti finds Carole a bit much at times (shocking, I know) but she is fun to hang around with and do mischief (Especially when Veliona joins in. They are banned from the kitchen along with Kiana)

Most of the Flamechasers and the guys keep to themselves BUT Carole will bother Kalpas to no end and he's so pissed off about it except she works out and he cannot beat her in an arm wrestling contest or anything for that matter so he has to rightfully suffer the wrath of a girl with 17 steps of bedtime skincare routine <3

NOW HERE IS WHERE WE GET INTO THINGS THAT ARE INCREDIBLY SELF INDULGENT FOR ME mostly because they are Sentifelis so. I do apologize but also I tried to keep most of it towards the end

OK SO AS I'VE SAID PARDO IS A NEW ADDITION TO THE FLAMECHASERS IDOL GROUP AND THE STANS ARE OBSESSED WITH HER !!! She's literally a catgirl with a cute aesthetic, it's a recipe for success

the funniest part: SENTI HATES HER (at the beginning at least) because until her, she was kind of one of the top spots on the 'idol leaderboard' or whatever (idk if thats a thing, people like diff idols / kpop artists etc but like. POPULARITY POLL?) and she's out there with Elysia BUT AS SOON AS FELIS CAME SHE JUST BULLDOZED RIGHT THROUGH ALL OF THAT and she's UPSET (or thinks she is anyway)

Fans also started comparing them a lot because of their different dance styles - Senti has more of a street dance type, and Felis is good at doing very fluid motions (mostly because of her tail) and fans love them both

Felis actually admires Senti so much as a fellow idol and somehow even after working with the group for a while she doesn't get to meet Senti at all and that's kind of her dream she just wants to 🥺befriend Senti she thinks shes SO cool

Senti would rather die before admitting that she actually thinks that Felis is really cute and isn't surprised that she's garnered such a large fanbase even though she hasn't worked as an idol for as long as the others, she finds her dance moves really nice ESPECIALLY because of her tail. BUT SHE IS GOING TO DENY THESE TILL THE END OF TIME (or so she claims) -

Like Sirin will just come to her on the daily to ask to practice and dance battle and will get completely brushed aside. See:

Sirin: "Today i will!! finally be top center stage instead of Senti!! i will finally beat her in the popularity poll!" She tries to get a rise out of Senti by claiming she is better and such but there's nothing, because Senti is just. too busy scrolling on her FYP on Tik Tok.

Senti: "Can you believe people made Fancams of Pardofelis AGAIN??? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T!! I HATE HER SO MUCH!!" (real 100% not clickbait) SHES TOO BUSY GOING OFF ABOUT "HATING" THE MEOW MEOW

Veliona: "you watched like 20 different fucking fancams. i thought you hated her"

Senti: "I DO I HATE HER SO MUCH ugh look at how they added a green sparkles and a neon cat ears and whiskers filter to this one. She looks way better in pink."

Sirin: "STOP LOOKING AT FANCAMS AND DO A DANCE BATTLE WITH ME RIGHT NOW!!!" *gets ignored*

Veliona, giving a look to Seele who just smiles and waves her hand to leave them be (insert 'I know what you are' dog meme here): 🧍‍♀️

I'm not sure if this ever happens in kpop 'biz' but imagine the 4 groups end up under the same publishing company so now they will all be living closer to each other (I have no idea wtf housing looks like for kpop stars or idols LOL) and collab more often and just meet at the workplace. SENTI HATES THIS OBVIOUSLY and like!! Felis definitely notices the cold shoulder she is given 🥺. She tries to say hi to Senti because she's super excited but Senti thinks she's just there to. Like show off that she's somehow better?? With her cute flicking ears and waving tail and her painted nails and her mismatched stockings BYE Senti cannot deal with this (she is confused and just hides it all behind an unfriendly facade)

Poor Felis is sad because she thinks she's done something wrong and she was so looking forward to meet Senti 😭😭😭

The same kind of behavior continues, because Senti can't really bring herself to be mean to Felis and tell her to get lost (especially when she's got that sad puppy look on her face) and always attempts to flee to another place instead. Their fellow idol coworkers DO notice, but most of them console Felis and say that's how Senti usually is with newcomers and that maybe she will warm up with time.

BONUS: There is a tiny part of the fandom shipping them - as you would and while they never got to get an interview from Felis about it, Senti is SHOCKED to find out that there's ppl making fics and fanart AND FANCAMS OF THEM (which are mostly taped together bc there's barely any interaction between them in media lmao). Like who in their right mind!! This is inconceivable to her!! She is so pissed about that too bc shes like "WHY ISNT PARDOFELIS SAYING ANYTHING TO THE PRESS ABOUT IT ... WE ARE NOT A THING!! WTF!! THIS IS ALL HER FAULT" (does not actually think its her fault and actually wonders where the fuck did fans get that impression but people will be people. ALSO no I don't condone rpf or any of that with actual real people, these r just fictional characters. and this is fanfiction inside a fanfiction)

Meanwhile I believe Felis would have a secret account on all social medias at least taking a look at that side of their fandom / fanbase and seeing what the people think in regards to that (she cant figure out why Senti won't be her friend, so maybe others will??? The theories and speculations people come up with are so funny though)

Afterwards, I would love to have them all taking a trip somewhere - to ... celebrate the fact that the companies and groups have merged or whatever (preferably the woods or. SOMEPLACE. Maybe with Caves? Yeah I'm pulling the 'stuck in a cave with no reception' trope on them, what will you do about it?) and that's how they finally get to have a 1 on 1 together, mostly because Felis is going to get a bit scared and thinks there's no way out of there.

Felis: "oh my god im too young to die!!! i didnt even get your autograph yet in my journal And I still have curry leftovers in my fridge that I didn't eat and I was so looking forward to them!!!"

Senti: "what."

Felis: "what ?"

Senti: "You...want my autograph?"

Felis: "Of course!! 🥺👉👈you're my biggest inspiration I admire your dance moves so much you look SO good on the screen and in concerts I I don't know how you do it I freak out all the time and think people can notice it BUT YOU LOOK SO CALM AND COMPOSED AND COOL-" and she has to stop herself because she's gushing dfjkghfd

and oh. okay maybe. MAYBE SENTI WAS HATING ON HER FOR NO REASON ACTUALLY...

With this they finally have a heart to heart and Senti apologizes for being so cold to Felis, she (begrudgingly) admits that she felt kind of threatened by Felis's onset popularity from the get go. Felis doesn't mind at all and is rather relieved that Senti doesn't ACTUALLY hate her and now they can be !!! friends!!! (Senti is actually overjoyed at their new friendship and hopes to hang out with her a lot more BUT she's incredibly trash at managing her feelings so it still comes off across as a little aloof and 'well, whatever...' but Felis doesn't seem to register that at all and has now resorted to holding Senti's hand because THEY ARE STILL TRAPPED IN A SCARY CAVE AND IT'S DARK

Obviously they are rescued a little while later because people noticed they were missing and such, and while still awkward around each other (mostly Senti, because she is now suddenly RECEIVING A LOT OF ATTENTION from a girl who she will never admit she finds cute, it's still a lot to get used to on day one but she powers through for the sake of it.

After this their friendship and such get better and Felis is no longer a stranger to their group, because she starts hanging out with Senti A LOT MORE once they get back. (and neither of them will tell the others what happened for that change)

Also I like to think Felis barges in Senti's room all the time to give her updates on the. ON THE FANS SPECULATION ABOUT THEM LOL

Felis: "YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS NEW FIC THAT WAS JUST POSTED"

Senti: "what fic"

Felis: "ABOUT US, DUMMY"

Senti: "YOU READ THOSE THINGS?"

Felis: "OF COURSE I DO. SOME ARE REAL GOOD... Someone wrote an Alternate Universe where we're like magical knights fighting against some unknown forces called 'Honkai' !"

Senti: "These people will make up just about anything, I swear"

Felis: "Btw did you know our ship tag is called Sentifelis"

Senti: "Our what."

ANYWAY THATS. JUST ABOUT ALL IM SO SORRY THAT THIS GOT EXTREMELY LONG I HAD NO IDEA I WROTE THIS MUCH? (it looks WAY less in discordf kdjfhgjkdfgdfhjn)

Would love to draw a few of them in idol / kpop like outfits.

ANYWAY UM. ✌ STAN SENTIFELIS

me about to tag every honkai character known to man:

(jk i wont do it I know how tag spam works, I will do my best to be courteous and put the most important ones)

[terraliensvent]

good gpd im so frustrated with stuff in terras rn. idont care anymore if they know who i am im jyst. so so frustrayed. its so hard to get stuff u want without spending money and im really lucky i have 3 terras. but oh god its so frustrating seeing people ask for. what even was it. asking for 14 myos. for 1 terra. it makes me so unvelievably angry!!

not tomention the way terra staff picked all the people who werent that active in chats. but just because they knew eachother well and were friends. it makes me lose hope for ever being a syaff and helping make this cs a little better :(

also how terra gas are always peopel with super detailled "pop" styles. like yeah youre picking smaller artists but.. yhey all have very similar styles and. its discouraging to someone with a chibi style who just really likes designing terras. it makes me wanna leave so bad.

and i. i cannot handle some of the members sometimes. some members will talk about how they dony have much money, like someone said they didnt have money for something. then immediately after bought a terra??? i mean i get that it can be addicting n stuff but. its so so frustrating oh god.

especially when people like. are talking about stuff and someone mentions something cpmpletely off topic. i could understanf if!!! maybe !! they asked nicely for a topic change and left it at tht but. ive seen people spam their own topics in the middle of another convo.

also i dont even wanna mention the trading scene. its insane. man i. ive been condidering leaving for sonlong mostly from members and specific staff. but. aughhhgg i love terras so much i just. wish i could make it better. i genuinely cry over it bc . i love terras so so much but its all going to shit . :C

im mostly just frustrated with dtaff constantly taking customs because if the staff customs channel and their new godly role. it sucks. it makes people feel like their artvisnt worth it, seeinh bids surpass thr hundreds while some camnot sell a fullbody for $5 just bc bias.

if staff see this, im sorry. i wish i didnt have yo go on a vent blog to say this. but i know saying it in the server would just get me silenced. please try to help with these issues seen here. and im genuinely so sorry, i really want to help, but this is the only way i can help now: giving criticism. i hope things change and i can enjoy terras again. i also hope staff are okay, i do not eant this to be mean or stressing in any way. :C [sorry for the typos mod i am very shaky rn and in a bus and carsick so im trying to fix them as mucj as i can. and ty for dealing witg all the drama.]

im sorry youre having such a bad time anon, it can be difficult once you realize all the deep cracks within the foundation of something you like

youre right in saying the trading scene is absolutely insane rn, people have decided that myos arent as powerful of a trading chip anymore but theyre still just as difficult to get, what the FUCK would someone even need 14 myos for

the staff has always been cliquey, if youre not in their little friend group you might as well be dirt, and theyre so biased toward pop artists, thats why kiwi rot was allowed to make a feral terra custom even while the hammer was coming down hard on them.

members are so rude and im tired of people pretending theyre not. at some point you gotta wonder how many times someone will breach social contract again and again regardless of every single time theyre politely told to wait their turn, just say you want to butt in and be done with it. ive never seen so many people absolutely unable to actually pay attention to the conversation at hand and it really seems like they just want to hear themselves talk

staff as a role is just a pretty little modifier to say “im elite, now drop $100s on my customs so you can immediately trade it off and say ‘looking for staff swaps ONLY if you offer me anything else u r getting blocked xoxox’”, none of them actually really use the new role to bring new viewpoints to the species or to make systems move faster, if they were then youd think we would actually have implemented more site functionality than one single fucking forage button and people wouldnt have to wait upwards of 2 weeks to get a myo design approved

terras biggest downfall is that every single person in the server is too sensitive for criticism and take it way too personally, that way everything gets silenced and nothing gets better.

personally anon, i suggest distancing yourself a bit. when i started moving away from the species and focusing on irl self improvement, i felt so much better (and started saving a lot of money)

[fictofaggot]

do the zahhaks free pass

i need to kill you with every rock imaginable thank you

Equius Zahhak

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: trans girl but she doesn't really know it yet. ummm. ywah

A ship I have with said character: MEOWRAILS!!!!!!!!! meowrails is the only ship ever in the whole world and i love them. ummm outside of that i like equisol.... neigh8ors... ywah :3

A BROTP I have with said character: him and tavros! ithink they match they are hoofed beasts... ummmmm... him and karkat need tp be friends idont care about youre feelin gs

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh..... equigam... araquius (theyre fascinating to me but idont like them).. idk idk

A random headcanon: horrible sensory issues that lead to intense meltdowns so frustrated all the time because she can't touch things without breaking them feels horribly guilty about it ummm.... um um um. he and nepeta are so close to eachkther he values her over any other troll in the whole world and they both realize they're trans girls together and thwy are the best. this thing has a personality disorder also

General opinion over said character: Why Are You Fucked Up. i need tk kill her with my big fists. i love him so much he is so autustically autistic tou woukd not even understand how much i feel for her

Horuss Zahhak

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: sysfluid trans girl she/he aro ace aplatonic etc

A ship I have with said character: no. none. go away forever

A BROTP I have with said character: idk... :P :P :P the other dancestors suck in terms of potential to be with horuss

A NOTP I have with said character: literally any ship ive ever seen with her is the worst thing in the world and i fucking hate you all DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DI

A random headcanon: kintype is one of those horses with the really big fluffy legs... transspecies... haver of both species and gender dysphoria... buys cool band shirts at the store and doesn't listen to the band to see if she likes them until months later... system has 2 hosts who share the body's name and take on the same shared identity for convenience, rarely has possession-type switches and has mostly grey-out and emotional amnesia... this beast has a personality disorder and so much autism you wouldn't even believe

General opinion over said character: I. Love. Her. favorite dancestor ever she is just like me fr hussie fucking sucks at writing her and im so Glad none of the fandom remembers the systemness because dear lird. she makes me mad a bit. no one can ever understand my feelings for her

Arquiusprite

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: this thing is a he him transfem

A ship I have with said character: ilike him anr erisolsprite but not really in a ship way i3just think they should be together

A BROTP I have with said character: i am so obsessed with every sprite² interaction

A NOTP I have with said character: i don't know man i don't wan t to know what ships with him exist

A random headcanon: thw beast is demonic in nature

General opinion over said character: combination of 2 of my favorite guys you get a coolkid pass forever...love this thing

Darkleer

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: trans girl lesbiman but he doesn't realize it because he has never heard of a pronoun in his life

A ship I have with said character: i don't care about ancestor ships

A BROTP I have with said character: idk...

A NOTP I have with said character: i don't care about ancestor ships

A random headcanon: JUGGERNAUT ARMOR JUGGERNAUT ARMOR JUGGERNAUT ARMOR J

General opinion over said character: this fucking beast is fantastic i love this animal. i need to get to the ancestor part in my reread soon so i can remember what his whole deal is

[bird-likes-to-fandom]

penny still doing sibling stuff and annoying ezra when hes trying to do stuff but he cant eeally do anything about it so he just has to begrudgingly accept that this is his way of life now {idont know how tumblr asking works my bad}

actually it's much sadder!! jane doesn't remember she's penny, and as far as ezra knows penny is missing and most likely dead, but he hasn't connected the dots of her being the sixth saint yet!

jane is just very attached to him, and neither of them can figure out why. she looms over him and stands over his shoulder 24/7 and has no concept of personal space (in typical jane fashion) and he just has to deal with it. she asks lots of questions that bother him while he's busy and follows him around like a duckling.

[mothpile]

ok but to be honest it does feel . a way . to be making going home and think so much about it and care about it so much and know itll never be like.. "appealing" if that makes sense. like its not nice artwise because i will never be able to draw consistenly in a way i like so i have to keep it like that . I'm not good at writing im not good with panels everytime i have to look through it for pages to show in a promo type thing i have to deal with that Damn. i dont.. like this and it feels weird coz i just have to go wwll whatever time to keep going whatever and thats what im doing because i like my story i like my characters and in the end i cant really care about how many people end up looking at what i love very much becusse its a bit bad the colors in the lineless section can be bad eyestrain hard to see I learn about gaussian blurring and do it too much and that suckeds and whatever idont know where this is going . idk

[pastelclownkitty]

YOU STOL E MY POST!:!^!_! /SILLY

anyways, torture: pain, future, fear, and betrayal :3

Aspen: ...you see this is funny becaus[ LORE SPOILERS ] Anyways if you count being conscious in sensory deprivation hell for 20 years as a form of torture, yes! Has definitely been kidnapped and interrogated many times before, prooabably tortured before as well as a natural consequence of that. Would torture someone. Don't ask.

Cleo: Same as Aspen on the kidnapping and interrogation. Would torture someone without any regrets if he thought they deserved it. Would have fun too, honestly.

Agnus: Constantly. When you're dealing with a God who sees violence as a default answer to problems, it's not difficult for punishments to tip over the point of being considered torture! Would torture someone and has before.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aspen: Having Aspen's stomach slit open by Agnus. That was not fun, especially counting the emotional aspect and the fact that Aspen was a child! Aspen's pain tolerance is below average. Aspen usually takes pain-relieving potions to help, which Aspen may have ended up getting addicted to due to chronic pain. Little trivia fact for you there!

Cleo: ...idont feel like thinking of what the worst pain hes ever felt is because he's died too man times for me to track. His pain tolerance is actually the highest of the trio, oddly enough!

Agnus: Once again, she couldn't possibly pick. Having her heart ripped out is in the top 10, though! 2nd highest pain tolerance, only barely behind Cleo's.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sorry, but there's only one possible future for all of my characters! Their story is going to end the exact same way no matter what anyone does! ...Or will it? ^_^

I can still answer for from their perspective, though!

Aspen: Joining Cleo's side. Aspen's doing absolutely everything to avoid that outcome. Aspen would quite literally rather die than give in. Poor Aspen, it's most likely inevitable unless some miracle happens! Which still wouldn't help, because Aspen keeps accidentally driving Aspen closer and closer to that point.

Cleo: Honestly, the exact opposite of Aspen's. The main difference is that Cleo actually has a good chance of never giving in considering how stubborn he is.

Agnus: Being tied to Atlas forever. Or worse, going through a complete mental reset and losing all of her self-control. This is both the most and least likely to happen out of all of these depending on your perspective. She's been desperately trying to fight for her independence in her own way, making more and more elaborate plans to get away from him. This only seems to speed it up though, so I'm not sure what she's getting at. (<- i know exactly what she's getting at.)

- - - - - - -

Aspen: Going back to the void. Anything, absolutely anything is better than that. As long as Aspen's here, on this plane, there's always something new. Something to prove Aspen's still alive. Aspen tends to shut down completely upon almost any reminder of that place. Would not tell anyone even if Aspen's life depended on it. Sees it as pathetic, especially when it can be triggered by something as simple as the dark.

Cleo: Losing everything. He's always had something to hang onto. He had Aspen, and when he lost that he had his own ideals to cling onto. He still had a purpose. This also plays into his fear of abandonment, since being there for the people he knows is a major part of his "purpose". It's not something he'll be open about, and probably not something he's accepted fully either. He tends to go into a denial/bargaining stage whenever he loses something, insisting that he can somehow get it back if he just tried a little harder, appealed to them a little more. When that inevitably doesn't work, he shuts off those emotions completely and starts to somewhat resent it. While we're here, I can confirm Cleo did beg Aspen to stay during that confrontation. Teehee ^_^ (<- hoping other people besides just north know what im talking about)

[ MARC IS TOO LAZY TO DO AGNUS FOR THIS SECTION. COME BACK LATER IF I EVER RB THIS AND ADD IT. ]

- - - - -

Aspen: Aspen is quite familiar with betrayal. Most of the people Aspen has known have ended up betraying Aspen. For the second question Aspen would say no if asked, but it depends on whether or not you consider "I'm actually an incomprehensible monster disguising as one of your kind who's been lying to you this entire time about my identity" as a form of betrayal. If so, Aspen has betrayed almost everyone! How fun!

[ MARC IS TOO LAZY TO DO AGNUS AND CLEO FOR THIS SECTION. COME BACK LATER IF I EVER RB THIS AND ADD IT. ]

- - -

thanks oomf these were fun