#idk.... im not trying to cause discourse by saying this and i dont want to upset anyone by it either

[ozymoron]

starting to think this website is bad for my mental health.....

[kurogane2512]

I recently got into Nikke too and the gameplay I gotta say is actually enjoyable. Im also enjoying some of the women. But I guess I've been spoiled by PTN, I just cant get over the fact that I, a woman, have to play as a dude. like hello why cant we be woman? Its minor issue but I dont kmow it just makes me kinda feel not seen and i get little annoyed? women play those games too and we deserve our female MC.

The gameplay certainly grows on you especially as you get better characters, even with just auto play it's quite fun to watch cause it's so active all the time. It's also sometimes just nice to have these relaxing games where you don't have to do much in gameplay and can spend more time with the story.

As for mc, I definitely understand you and it did upset me in the beginning too but I got used to it since I have played so many other similar games having the same issue over the years. I have digged into this and analysed from the perspective of various games so I do have an understanding of why this is the case. For one, most gachas target male audiences even now. While Genshin definitely changed the landscape, there are many layers to this that are quite complex and would take me a while to explain so this is gonna be a long read if you are really interested to hear.

Gacha gaming space has evolved a lot after Genshin and many new games emerged trying to copy Genshin's success in their own way. Genshin in terms of fanservice is super mild, as seen by its age rating of 12+ and its popularity on a global scale is what attracted everyone. This issue has got to do a lot with censorship and the reaction of men and women in the gacha communities. In simple words, it's likely that the devs only intended this for a male audience since the cast is all female and they don't expect to attract many women players. Or, they may deliberately not want women players. It's quite messed up and complicated idk how to explain without appearing rude or something 😅

Lemme give an example of a recent controversy another game had- Snowbreak Containment Zone. Just like Nikke, this game has an exclusive male mc and all female cast. However, in the early stage this game had a male character which was forcefully removed by the players cause they didn't want a man between their waifus. Yes it sounds quite pathetic, but but hear me out more. Initially, Snowbreak was following Genshin's route of having a mild fanservice story to attract a larger audience but it didn't work for them. Their revenue went down and they were on the verge of eos, then they made a crucial decision to change the direction of the game.

Snowbreak bumped up its rating to 18+ and started having a 'Master Love' story which is basically harem route. This worked and saved the game and for now it's doing good enough, but another thing came into light from this. Apparently there were some female player groups in China who reported Snowbreak for it's skimpy designs and the story catering to men, this caused some discourse in the players online and the conclusion that came out was these female players were typical woke feminists who hate seeing fanservice and bias for male players so they demanded female characters to be removed and instead some male characters to be put in.

Now, while this issue is recent and Nikke was released 2 years ago, I believe the causes are similar. It's sad to say this but when these games attempt to target female players, they mostly get straight women who demand more male characters and start hating on the female designs cause it goes against feminist propaganda. Genshin's old censorship of Jean, Amber, Mona etc was another case of this. Yes I know Nikke is Korean so it shouldn't be the same but I really believe it ends up that way. Now you'd wonder, why don't these games just give equal treatment to male and female characters to appease both sides? Imo, it's really not simple to balance this in a fanservice heavy game.

I won't say revenue cause there are examples to show male characters can earn just as good as females. I truly believe it's got to do with gender roles/interests/ideologies etc. I agree that Ptn is impressive in this sense that it somehow attracted such a large yuri fandom and I personally don't think the devs planned for this. From my understanding, it's due to its design being different from the conventional anime style that males weren't attracted as much and there being mostly adult women characters while the majority of men want teen or young girls as waifus. Also the fact that both mcs are treated quite equally in not just role but even design philosophy, it's likely why more women ended up here. Also it has a mature story which doesn't have anime stereotypes that I suppose it just didn't reach the audience the devs planned for.

But okay yeah lemme just finish here. I get your disappointment and I also wish Nikke had the option for female mc but looking at various factors I understand why the devs wanted a harem story this way. There are otome games like Love and Deepspace topping revenue charts which obviously shows women play these games too but I think the majority is still made up of straight women hence why these other games flourish more. But I won't lie, I'm very tempted to make a game like Nikke or love and deepspace for us lesbians like yes we deserve to have this too with hot women 😩

[system-of-a-feather]

Tagging @syscurse with this cause they seem to have more awareness of the final fusion "discourse" and I dont have a thesis statement or any real argument here beyond just casual discussion nor do I know if Im "strawmanning" cause I havent actually seen much of it since M&M's final fusion backlash (+ Im not trying to argue, just share thoughts)

But the common line of "Final Fusion isnt even worth it / isnt even good because you can always resplit" and what not is honestly fucked up and problematic to say in regards to a healing method but on a personal level didnt so much have anything to compare it to in order to highlight it

But as someone who has been working with OCD longer than DID and final fusion, its kind of like saying "Trying to resist / be free from doing your compulsions isn't even worth it because you can always get new compulsions or relapse, even if you free yourself from all the ones you have now, its not like itll stay that way"

Cause - and Im not sure how many chronic long term OCD folks are out there - but for cases like mine where its "high functioning" (ie constant but due to how its done it doesnt impact my day to day as much as it should) and long long long deeply rooted and untreated, a valid settling place for healing is to just integrate and adjust the compulsions to be less intrusive and focus on navigating obsessions and intrusive thoughts better

For some it might just not be worth the time and effort to actually fully stop all the compulsions entirely because - in our case - there are too many, its too deeply rooted in trauma and other disorders, and so reinforced that to do so would be a SHIT ton of work whereas usually we actually are pretty functioning

So if we were to put the community aspect the DID community has onto the OCD "community" then one could say there is "full remission" and "functional OCD" as recovery goals.

And as someone whose happily settled in functional OCD and currently really isnt seeking out full remission (as that would probably be after final fusion) its completely valid to say "Im happy with this level".

Much like DID and splitting though, the OCD brain even after healing is still a brain physically wired in an OCD way and inevitably you are always going to be prone to developing obsessions and compulsions. Does that mean working on freeing yourself from the ones you currently have is pointless? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Even if you have two weeks, two months, two years, twenty years, forty years and then "relapse" or whatever it is and end up gaining new obsessions / compulsions or splitting a new alter, obtaining that period of ideal and desired healing is an amazing thing.

Healing has ups and downs and works like a tide for almost every disorder and every version of healing. Its not a special thing about DID or final fusion, heck the claim could be made with functional multiplicity and dissociative symptoms and barriers coming back

Idk man, Im mostly rambling thoughts but TLDR healing is a rollercoaster, sometimes its a Disneyland ride sometimes its Six Flags, but there are ups and downs regardless of the disorder and version of healing for an individual and I really think its a bit of a negative nancy and a thought coming from a place of not understanding later stages of healing from people not quite there yet

Anyways, just rambles open mic to anyone who wants to ramble back

[wishing-stones]

Hihihi i saw your reblog about calcium cat recently and... thank you for that! It was eye opening and confirmed some suspicions i had... and im sorry you dont have to post this ask if you dont want to, i just didnt know where else to go. I don't use tumblr often, very sorry if i am bothering you!

So, i used to be a big fan of calcium cat's, and when i learned from your reblog that she's not someone i want to associate myself with, i remembered that she and topazshadowwolf (someone who wrote some Dadmare and Soriel fics that I liked, i think they're well known in the community but im not sure?) were affiliated with one another, and topazshadowwolf has these two posts on their blog that arent outright queerphobic like calcium cat's posts. i wanted to see what your thoughts were on it as a second opinion because i dont want to judge them too hard, but i also got an icky feeling from these posts that i can't really explain. I dont want to cause trouble for them if they don't deserve it which is why i wanted to ask your opinion on it. And im on anon in case if it really is that bad...

https://www.tumblr.com/topazshadowwolf/738317097192603648/anon-i-am-not-going-to-reply-to-that-ask-i-dont?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/topazshadowwolf/738292724279672832/i-didnt-want-to-say-this-but-its-been-bugging?source=share

Uhmm yeah thats about it. Sorry, you probably dont get asks like this that much, i really just didnt know what to do and didnt see anyone talking about it and thought i was going crazy, i wanted to ask someone. I am a queer person myself and i just felt like these posts were really off but idk why :(((

Sorry this took a bit to get to Anon, I legitimately had no idea who this person was. Also had to grapple with the fact that I'm apparently a big enough figurehead here to ask about discourse? Willlddd to me. I'm not used to this LOL.

Discourse under the cut

The first thing that strikes me as off is the fact that Cal commented on the ask linked in the first post you provided. Don't like that. Openly associating with someone who has been outed as an immensely bigoted trans/homophobe is.... not a good look.

However, in regards to that ask, I agree with some of what they were saying. School is a time to play at discovery, because you rarely remain who you were as a child. It's not a definitive thing. You can be adamant that you're one way in school, and once you leave it an broaden your horizons, you discover that you're another way. This ranges anything from sexualities, gender expression, to religion and belief systems. People grow and change.

As an aside, I don't agree that NM wouldn't support them if they claimed to be different from how they are as adults and wouldn't support them. No context given, but I assume the boys don't remember being adults. This means their growing experiences will be fundamentally different than they were as former adults because they are going through their childhood/adolescence in a wildly different way than they did underground. So constricting them to such a narrow scope seems... disingenuous at best.

Seems a might bit narrow-minded, but I wouldn't go screaming "transphobia" yet. Don't like the "if you feel like I disrespected you, leave" though. The correct response is to ask what you did that made someone feel that way.

Worthy of a side-eye, but unless someone presents solid proof (as with Cal's very damning twitter likes, yuck), bad vibes shouldn't be enough to try to cancel someone. I try to give the benefit of the doubt. I sincerely hope my general faith here is not misplaced.

[blkkizzat]

hi im shy so i haven't interacted b4 but i luv your fics! i like that you write stories & just don't post smau or twt porn links.

Hey nonny! TY for liking my work, its appreciated!! I do encourage you to interact though, even if its just a comment or continued anon msgs cause they do encourage me to write. I also really like receiving them <33 so I hope you or anyone else feels comfy to interact with me. *i dont bite i promiseeeee*

However, I honestly don't think theres anything wrong with smaus or twt porn links.

I incorporated smaus into my fics before. I adore writing or reading a good crack fic/post so I definitely think they have their place too and they are funny! I just personally struggle when it comes to writing shorter content so not something in my wheelhouse to do. (lol anything i write under 1k words i automatically think is dogshit. lol someone teach me to write short stuff i beg.)

Also I be EATING UP those twt porn links!! I don't post any of my own as my twitter is a stan account and I don't follow/like/retwt porn on there cause I don't want to mess up my algorithm. But I do be bookmarking them HEAVY! They are good reference material for my smut fics tbh.

Also I try to stay out of the mess/discourse cause I feel like people should be able to enjoy what they like without writing lame dissertations in defense/debating about it. But since we are on the topic already I'll add I haven't really understood the hate for them in particular, especially those saying people who like/post them have porn addictions because what!? Like we are not all on here to write/read smut?? pot---meet--->kettle. Anyway I guess I can understand the frustration some have when they assume they are stealing attention away from fics, but idk tumblr is huge and there is a place/audience for everyone is my belief. I've seen many long 6k+ fics breaking 20k+ so I think theres interest in long fics as well (one of my 7k+ fic has 18k+ notes). But I work in marketing, am getting my MBA right now and have worked in the middle of business and creative my entire career (at one point i worked for Twitch directly with streamers/influencers) so I can say when it comes to anything content/creative driven its honestly it's less about the quality of the individual work and more about regularly finding, interacting and catering to your audience if you really care about notes that much . I think its far more important though to do it for fun. Especially since we are not getting paid and doing this for free-99! So much creativity gets stifled when its too much about the business/results/notes side and you are working to please others/for clout. Thats a whole ass job in itself lmfao! I used to write on ff.net back in the day (years ago omfg) and stressed myself out so much from all the reviews/requests that I ended up abandoning it and was scared to write fanfics for years because of the anxiety of 'letting ppl down' until I got back into it last fall and decided to stop giving a fuck LOL.

Ahhh but I could ramble on about that for hours so let me stop I'm doing what I said I didn't want to do cause this is def now a mini dissertation from me going down the rabbit hole on this LMFAO! (im long-winded af lol)

But ty for the ask nonny I hope you come back soon <3

[eggtwobroes]

big post explaining/apologizing for my (eggtwobroes/theyhitthepentagon) behavior under the read more

sorry for maintagging this i just. think its important

i dont really kniw how to word what im thinking so im like. going to type it as im thinking. but i wanted to make a real genuine post explaining my behavior over the past year, because ive been a dick there is no avoiding it!! this post is going to be about how ive acted from june up until now. im mostly going to be explaining the situations and apologizing. if you see this please feel free to share it around, i know it most likely will not reach alot of people because i have like. a loot of people blocked. and alot of people have me blocked. idk please share this ok thank u

back in june 2022 (specifically one year tomorrow, june 16th) i got like. really worked up after i had foundout that most of my adult mutuals (and some people i followed) were drawing hlvrai nsfw! the only post i had made about it (at least from what i remember) is liiike a not Kind post that basically said "hey if u like hlvrai nsfw please block me i thought that was common sense". after i posted this a large hlvrai artist (either by chance or caused by me) posted like "hey if u shit on hlvrai porn ur homophobic! sex is an important part of gay relationships etc etc"

this caused a Massive out break of discourse over hlvrai nsfw and me getting alot of adults in my inbox being weird towards me. here i feel its important to mention that:

when i was 12, i was around Ex Friends that posted a lot of porn of media i liked. even though most of them were teenagers and not that much older than me it Greatly Impacted Me and how i act, both related to what i saw and how i was treated

i used twitter from ages 12-15 (recently left) and you know how they handle conflict there. its not good

i dont think either of these excuse how i acted (but they may explain it)

the combined pressure of getting a bunch of adults in my anons being (from my perspective) really weird about this 14 year old kid who doesnt want porn artists to interact, and the unhealed trauma of Being Exposed To Homestuck Porn When I Was 12 (a devastating situation that everyone goes though all the time) i didnt really. handle it in a Good Way. which Means i sent horrible anon hate to people.i dont clearly remember if i made alot of public posts about the situation at the time (beyond answering the anons i was getting) but if i did im very very VERY sorry.

i feel like. alot of how i acted during this time (june-early august, mostly) was extremely Dickish and rude. as much as i justify or explain why i acted the way i did, i was still causing issues and handling the situation in a way that was unhealthy for not just myself but for everyone else around me. for this i really genuinely do apologize as much as i can, to the people ive hurt (melonsharks, xenodogz, many other artists) and to the people who were annoyed by me rehashing 3 year old drama. ever since the situation i have been working towards learning to block people and move on if they make content that makes me feel nauseous.

As for how ive acted in recent months, mostly over characterization, im not going to pretend that im already a new person. because im not! as much as i say im trying to be less of an asshole im just Not. it takes effort that i feel like im not putting in.

for those who just Dont look at my pages often enough, i will occasionally make posts about how hlvrai fans treat or characterize the. characters. and lets behonest these posts are really rude and ive been working on at LEAST being more vague or keeping it in private or like. just Not Posting it. but of course i HAVENT done all of those things! ive been really unvague!

ive posted direct screenshots of authors writing (someone younger than me, ive recently learned) to shit on it for being mischaracterized. i should Not have done that. at the very least i should have kept my thoughts to myself, not even shared with my friends.

after reading how other authors and artists have felt about the things ive said, and looking at the way ive come to think of other artists or authors in the community, ive realized that even though i thought i was targetting mischaracterization and poor treatment of the characters, i was harming and discouraging artists and authors who are still learning and growing as creators.

for this, im VERY very sorry to all of the artists and writers ive hurt or discouraged with my posts. i want to personally apologize to joyflameball, for publicly posting about and hating on your writing and the discouragement i caused as a result. i should have never put mischaracterization over your own feelings, and i definitely should not have put your work on blast, especially because we are (i think) around the same age. i will be trying as best as i can to deconstruct the way ive come to think of other creators in this community and support other creators as best i can.

i dont expect to be forgiven for the way ive acted, since alot of this is VERY very recent and so far i dont think ive shown any signs of improvement. i am writing this post now because i want you all to know that i will be trying my hardest to become a better person, change the way i think of other people, and change the way i act in public. i dont think my actions can be excused, as much as i try my best to explain them from my perspective. ive undeniably hurt many people. if i havent addressed something important, or if you have any questions/things to say, please feel free to send me an ask or dm me at wretched yaoi lich#9564 on discord. im most likely going to be queueing this post alot so my followers see it. thank u for ur time

[thegayestdiaz]

Quick preface: i am being legit 100% genuine and just kind wanted to put my thoughts out there. This is not like me trying to call you out or be mad at you specifically or anything like that. I just like saw one of your posts and it kinda touched a nerve, in a way that felt like you definitely didnt intend for it sound or be like, and i wanted to like idk engage civilly and talk about like word choice and semantics lol. Thats also why im like sending this via ask and not a comment or reblog of the post, so like you have the choice whether you wanna engage with it publicly or privately or not at all.

So like in the post youre talking about how in the 7x10 BuckTommy scene that tommy’s sarcastic humor doesn’t land. And like and that’s literally totally fine. But its also like your opinion. Just like my opinion that it does land and that they do have chemistry yk? Its just like :/ when people (not just you like as a greater trend in the fandom discourse) state their opinion as fact when it is an opinion.

And like, to get all evidencery, i would say that Buck reacts to the sarcastic jokes by smiling and laughing and reciprocating the humor, which tells us that at the very least he likes it, or/and that the writers intended for it to be read that way. But thats still just my opinion of my interpretation of the scene.

The other big thing that made me kind :/ was when you wrote

“it’s the fact that they’re trying to claim that bummy have this close, intimate relationship without showing us any vulnerability or intimacy.”

(and again not saying youre like a bad person for writing this or anything like that, just being a nerd that likes talking about linguistics and semantics and how people communicate and wanting to do that better)

So like i know its just how ppl talk, but again its saying that its a “fact” when it is your interpretation. One that i like whole heartedly disagree with. ESPECIALLY in regard to the “daddy kink” scene. Like as a bisexual man who very much is into kink, talking about kinks with new partners is Incredibly intimidating and intimate and vulnerable and difficult. And yeah, we often talk about it using humor because especially when its connected to traumas its often easier to talk about it with a lighter air. But that doesnt take away from the seriousness or intimacy of whats being discussed. When i watched that scene if felt like really genuine and legitimately representational of what its like trying to feel out how your partner feels about kinks, and especially the fact that buck is the one to start it by asking tommy if they both have daddy issues, masking his nerves with a flirty jokey tone, it was so real and great to see.

And i get it, not everyone has the same relationship with kink or queer subtextual flirting, but that kinda the point. Scenes hit different for different people, ships hit different, and thats fine, thats how it works. I dont expect everyone to get like teary eyed over a daddy kink joke or absolutely love BuckxTommy, but i do wish people remembered more that other people have different experiences and connections to stuff like this. Like sure i ship buddie, but im 1000 time more excited by the fact that Buck is a fucking canonical bisexual character. Would buddie be cool, hell yeah! Would i love to see Eddie figure out hes like gay and deconstruct his comphet HELL YEAH. But rn bucks the one thats actually queer, and hes getting his queer storyline and im fucking excited for that! And them bringing Tommy back, whos entire character gets a whole other level of gay angst with the context that he was deeply closeted in the flashbacks we saw him in before, like i love that to!

And again i very much do not think you are like willfully or wantonly trying to do anything bad, nor am i trying to tell you how to engage in fandom or how to talk. I just wanna like share my thoughts and feelings about fandom discourse and communication. (also like very chose to send to you cause i like your posts and think youre chill lol)

(Also also not trying to be like the word police, just a hey btw: lots of queer guys in the fandom myself included are p uncomfortable with ppl using “bummy” as a shipname. Its like a lil to close to the like “bum boy” slur and just yeah feels 😬)

this sat in my inbox for so long i forgot about it i’m sorry.

i think talking about kinks in a new relationship is basically essential so that wasn’t my problem. it’s about the context. if the conversation had been in a kind of flirty, sexually charged scene it would’ve been completely fine. it’s that he chose to make the joke when buck was having an emotional moment about bobby almost dying. like if it was him being a little awkward and trying to lighten the mood and he kinda went “sorry i didn’t know what to say so i tried to make you laugh,” i would’ve found it cuter but because the scene takes itself seriously it feels like such an out of place reaction. and he starts out with “but your dad’s alive.” i don’t understand the writers’ intention there because it comes off as dismissive since he just moves past that when he had a great opportunity to have a conversation about buck’s feelings towards his parents. overall my feelings have nothing to do with the joke itself and if they had put it anywhere else it would’ve had more appeal. you say people have different experiences when talking about kink but honestly who wants to be pivoted into that conversation after they’ve just decided to be open and vulnerable with their partner about something as serious as death and parental issues? it would’ve been nice to have tommy comforting and reassuring buck, maybe expanding on the story of his own parental issues like the scene alluded to. that would’ve made it clear that yes this man takes the situation seriously and genuinely cares about buck without a doubt. and besides the two scenes i mentioned from 7x04 and 7x05 tommy spends most of his screen time killing buck’s vibe. the closet joke which was funny in the moment but would’ve outed buck if eddie wasn’t the most oblivious person on the planet, leaves buck on the sidewalk because he “wasn’t ready” (why even date a newly discovered and not out bisexual man?), doesn’t dress up and dismisses buck being upset, getting their medals and telling buck to “enjoy it while it lasts” when he was excited. besides the hospital kiss what other close and intimate moments are there?

and in regards to the ship name i got it from other queer people and i use it because shippers come into my inbox complaining i’m in the official ship tag spreading hate and it was the first ship name people came up with.

[anthraxplus]

forgive me for writing so much about tumblr but i have a lot of thoughts

here's the thing about tumblr. i've found it interesting how we continue to call our profiles our "blogs" even though they function differently to the common idea of a blog (like livejournal). but in a way, calling our profiles our blogs makes sense. they're our place to post things we've made or repost content we like. it's more personal than twitter, which has an "information" or "discourse" lens applied to it. the focus on twitter has increasingly been to encourage sharing of information (i.e news or opinions). tumblr's focus has always (afaict) been to encourage sharing of our creations, kinda lumping blogging in there as "self expression" or something to that effect. technically speaking, artists should be more at home on tumblr than on twitter.

but people using their blog as ONLY a blog (no reblogs, just their thoughts or creations - like a livejournal) are in the minority on this site, right? make no mistake, i follow tons of artists who use their blog in a very focused way, but mostly we're all reblogging other people's posts, putting their art on our blogs and riffing in the tags on people's jokes. it is very much a site of Content, Things To Share. the fact that we can blog on here almost feels oddly secondary. but, ok. tumblr is a site for people to post their creations/content, and said content finds an audience through being discovered or reblogged.

so why is it so damn hard to find anything?

like, ok, obviously we can do that. type words into the search bar and you will definitely find posts. but dont you often wonder why the hell some posts showed up in your search and others didnt?

you're telling me filtering searches by top posts of all time isnt showing me the post that has this exact string of text (+- punctuation), but is showing me posts that... have those words in them, scattered, and sometimes not even that exact word ("piss" vs "pissing")?

what about when you try to search for a word or phrase that you KNOW is on a blog in some post, but searching for it brings up NOTHING? i just had to deal with this when searching someone's blog for a specific post i had just seen on my dash - i can only imagine tumblr told me no such post existed because it wasnt tagged with that word.

and all of this feels so obviously wrong, right? even without tags, we should be able to search for words or phrases in a more reliable way on both the site and our blogs. i dont think im alone in the thought that the search function is almost useless - even if it gives me what im looking for sometimes, it can be a struggle, and mostly it just doesnt feel worth it. this is how we can keep ourselves in insular circles and struggle to break out of them. it is literally easier to do this than it is to find new shit.

so, yknow, staff isnt wrong when they say this:

tumblr does need growth, but not necessarily by attracting new users (though, idk, i wouldn't mind that). tumblr needs internal growth. this site is stuck in the early 2010s in a way that is baffling to me, and it has continuously failed to adapt to its userbase's needs in a way that honestly doesnt make sense, and when they do change something, it just ends up causing more strife between staff and users.

so, for example: tumblr needs money to keep functioning, obviously. the common practice is to have ads on the site. but oops, the ads suck and everyone hates them. ok, allow users the option to pay to get rid of ads. but oops, a lot of people dont want to give money to the site that continuously breaks itself (among many other complaints). ok, meet users in the middle and allow them to pay to advertise their stuff - this should be, like, the perfect mix of everything, right? being able to advertise your content on the content site? but oops, this is only a good option because finding new content is so goddamn hard that random people shoving their posts onto your dash is the only remaining viable option. when you have to rely on pure chance/luck for your posts to even be found, even when you do everything in your power to increase their visibility, you're not gonna want to stay here.

i feel like addressing the search function should be the staff's top priority before they implement anything else. we need to be able to find content on the content site. i think thats pretty obvious. once it works the way it already should have, then they can worry about what comes after. i think people feel this animosity with staff because we're struggling to continue to use this site while they struggle to find ways to get money out of us. i think if people felt they could actually use tumblr in the way it intuitively feels like it should be used, that kind of animosity would be more rare*. but until we get that, any change to the site is going to feel wrong.

fwiw though, i'm glad to see staff say that the site basically doesn't work. like. goddamn. took them long enough. i just hope (probably baselessly) that their acknowledgement of this issue will lead to some fixes that benefit the foundational usage of the site.

*yes, there is animosity towards staff for other reasons - like, yknow, how innocuous selfies of trans women get flagged as "mature" (among other things) - but that's an issue of culture/enforcement and not necessarily the raw function of the site, so i feel like it's best suited for a different post

tl:dr PLEASE FIX THE FUCKING SEARCH FUNCTION, IT NEVER SHOULD'VE BEEN ALLOWED TO BE THIS BAD AND I THINK ITS ISSUES HAVE BEEN A MAJOR REASON FOR TUMBLR'S STEADY DECLINE

[otobabe]

SHOCKING: regarding the rumors about todo heisuke not being an ally

i'm about to cause discourse on tumblr..... lol

first things first: obv everyone is entitled to their onions and headcanons, im not coming for the person i saw post abt heisuke not being gay or an ally, and they're allowed to feel and share their opinions abt queer hakuouki takes. i prefer not to make them feel attacked so pls dont go trying to find their post and responding to it just bc you see this. esp bc for all i know, other people feel the same way about heisuke !!! i just want to clear up these rumors abt him ok ! xD

~~if you've ever talked to me abt hakuouki you know i am very "everyone is everything and whatever you want them to be", pls for your own personal enjoyment of hakuouki, have fun with or without the source material and enjoy the colorful cast of characters!!~~

that said, HERE ARE MY REASONS HEISUKE IS GAY AND LOVES TRANS PEOPLE AND HONESTLY IS PROBABLY UNDER THE TRANS UMBRELLA AND LITERALLY WOULD GO TO BAT AND FIGHT FOR ANY OF HIS FRIENDS BUT ESPECIALLY HIS LGBTQ+ FAM

-photo one: taken directly from EB, this one line from Sannan not only points out that the rest of the shinsengumi crew is so close and valuable to heisuke that even others view them as "his pack" aka his family, but also showcases the moment that heisuke has gone far out of his way to be here to confront Sannan with relationship to his previous bond to Sannan, and his current bonds to the shinsengumi and chizuru. even if we pretend that heisuke isn't gay in some way (he is) of course he would also view his queer friends with the same loving ferocity and defend them with his life. if anything he is one of the most all for one, one for all, protective and loving shinsengumi members of the bunch.

-photo two: always prioritizing and protecting the "underdog/weakest", even above other people who we have literally seen him be willing to give his life for. he recognizes when life/the situation is unfairly against someone else and he is on their team to try to help them.

continued under cut <3

-photo three: i'm going to cry thinking abt this scene again lol. pls, if you know the scene you know what i'm pointing out. stan my boys.

-photo four: hajime here is kindly pointing out for us: heisuke has Been Through It. i could go all day talking abt his not being wanted/accepted in his family as a child, his bond with ibuki, sannan, hajime, etc, his 'sunshine to mask the pain' personality, and how they relate to and mirror queer experiences, but at the base of this all, Heisuke knows exactly what it means to not fit in, to be different, and to have gone through hell to accept himself. if thats not the queer experience idk what is lol.

-photo five: my king so generously points out to us that he has never had feelings for a woman besides Chizuru (or MC for my self insert babies uwu). Where many other characters are hinted at being ladykillers or non-virgins etc, Heisuke has always been very candid about not having had any close bond with a woman before, much less have had feelings or even attraction to one. Sure, he gets embarrassed when the baka trio go to fun sexy lady places, but he himself doesn't ever really say that *he* is attracted to any of the other women he comes into contact with. points can be made here for him being bisexual/pansexual with or without a leaning towards men, demi/ace spectrum for his attraction seemingly going hand in hand with his closeness with a person, etc

-photo six: uhmmmmm who else can get along with kazama like this that isn't a little gay???? one of the few that can stand his ass (lovingly)

-photo seven: WATCH OR PLAY REIMEIROKU. this is obv from EB but the bond that ibuki and heisuke share is almost unbearable in how much they love and care for each other like,,,, what is your first love if not someone you wish will be happy in life with or without you? ibuki is so clearly not a samurai, he's an artsy little outcast (also incredibly queer-coded and missed on that post imo), and heisuke relates to and grows close to him, missing and loving him from afar, even so far as to refrain from going to see him personally in fear of disrupting their peace.

-photo eight: pls who else's arc has the major theme of fighting for others ???? :sob: :sob: :sob: like fr ive kept these screenshots and photos forever because i always keep in my heart that heisuke would be fighting for us. HE WILL COME TO BAT FOR YOU !!!!!!!!!

-photo nine: the baka trio have such a wonderful and beautiful friendship, that while i personally think they absolutely wouldve been close enough to experiment with each other, at the very least i think it's obvious that they are heisuke's found family. found families mean so much to queer people for a multitude of reasons, and im so thankful that heisuke has his.

i could honestly keep going for so long on this but ill end with this;

your favorite character is trans :) ALL of the shinsengumi members would back you up and fight for your human rights. none of the shinsengumi members from Hakuoki are queerphobic/fatphobic/transphobic/biphobic/etc. if YOU are transphobic get the fuck off my blog, i do not want your follow <3

p.s. either here in the replies/quote reblogs or in my messages or w/e feel free to ask for anything along the lines of trans and queer affirming headcanons about the hakuouki cast, i would love to provide that <3 <3 <3

[trashimoto]

Well my controversial opinion of the day is i think a lot of ppl have misconstrued the idea of “dont call people queer who don’t want to be called queer because it is a slur and its not ‘reclaiming’ if you’re using it on other unwilling people” as “Don’t ever say queer ever”, which im pretty sure absolutely zero people actually are arguing the later.

Especially since the phrase “the queer community” has entered the mainstream and while for a lot of people they take refuge in the label of queer (which is fine and good!) it still does have the unfortunate consequence of the general public kind of forgetting that it’s a slur. And as a result that does result in well-intentioned people labeling others who do NOT feel comfortable reclaiming the word queer having that word thrust upon them as such.

I don’t think its bad to use queer to describe yourself and the community of course, and I don’t think anyone whos LGBT should be like told NOT to use the word in reference to themselves obviously but you have to be respectful when other people don’t want to be called queer. Because it’s usually not because they’re some sort of gatekeeper censorship + sanitization obsessed undercover agent trying to cause pointless discourse or anything, it’s way more likely they’ve just been called it their whole life by homophobes.

This isn’t like a discourse post or to get anyone riled up or a vauge or anything I was just thinking about this and hoped that maybe for anyone who happens to read this and has strong opinions on this to be like oh huh okay. Idk i think that there needs to be LESS community infighting and MORE love, just be nice and compassionate and understand that every person is different and that no one should assume that all LGBT people should have the exact same opinions and feelings about everything

[anarchistbitch]

well it's not like according to tradition I replied in a timely manner lmao dont worry about it

sfjkfjsdk me too, i dont usually make playlists, i just leave everything in my liked and shuffle it and let it be what the universe dictates but idk i felt like getting them into one playlist

well if you add pepa pig id burst out laughing in the middle of a call probably and one of my work friends would probably shout "send her to sleep" bc thats what we say when we send clients back bc we cant do anything from our end so it would be funny and we would just ultimately skip it lmao

im looking forward to whatever songs you add, the playlist is long as fuck already tbh so it might take a while for the oli london song to come on

SFGDSJKFGDS well in my defense I had to ask bc i didnt know how long youve been on tumblr so yeah (shiro's cloning and the episode about it and the fight with keith)

anyways i motherfucking hated that they exploded adam and then tried to console us with curtis but anywaaaaaaay the fanfic is dirty laundry which if you were in the fandom i doubt you didnt end up hearing of it or at least the discourse around it but anyway it got deleted but i had it downloaded so have a google drive link https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwU9LMiUJoN7RjFWSGZVUlJQd1U/view?

yeah, the whole not enrolling classes in uni is a mess and i try not to think about it too much rn (i am seeing a therapist and i hope that by next year i have figured out what i want to do) but i like my job, we(my team)'re actually planning to rent a house and stay there a weekend very soon to celebrate our supervisor's bday :'3

making choices that will greatly impact our futures is seriously so hard, and i also not qualified for any career advice but manifesting that whatever you choose in the end allows you to be happy

just last night it started raining hard so i got up to turn off the fan but then like two minutes later i got up to turn it on again bc even tho it was raining it is still so fucking hot, seriously hate the weather rn

god mountains are so preetty, specially when the weather is cool and they get all foggy

atsv is a masterpiece and it continues from itsv so damn well, i really do love it and i hope hollywood gets up it's ass and pays their workers what they're owed so we can see it soon

KJSDFJKSDFHJS i am still seeing so many miguel o hara edits everywhere for real, i gotta say tho im in love with hobie and pavitr

JKSHFJS i used to do something similar with fob, i had a lot of them printed out and would put them on my binder cover so that i could memorize the lyrics so i was all day everyday singing them until i memorized it and the changed it for another song

idk how id rank fob albums, its so hard when theyre soo good but i really do love so much for stardust, aside from that one i think my favs are save rock and roll and american beauty american pyscho, mania was the first album i was a fan of them when it came out so it has a special place in my heart as well

my special lyric is part time soulmates full time problem, ive always been a fan of soulmate aus and hhhhhhhh just makes my brain smooth, also we started off as shiny dimes but we got flipped too many times, we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never going to change 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

cheers to us and our interesting meeting jdfshjf

love you and i hope you have a good week :3 get plenty of rest and fun and water!!

-M

i feel like if we had a competition on late replies i would emerge victorious😎(crying inside)

honestly fall is prolly the best time to make playlists[not that im gonna, but sure is a nice time yk] but ahhhh anyway!!!! havent added anything but u will know when i add it <3

check hello tumblr user nonbinarymikaela pls provide access to the drive check [i checked out of any fandom drama cause i had so many exams that yr lmao. only time the edu system saved me]

[this is me actually hi]

honestly idek if i like my degree rn, like i really wanted to go for a history degree a couple years back before i changed my stream[its a whole educational system thats actually fucking fucked in india i hope it dies soon💜] but on the flip side - it was pretty hard to get a spot in my uni anyway so now im just in a whirlpool of smth. bleh

thinking of how next year is so close is like skewering me and roasting me like a kebab😭😭😭😭[but like dont keep a strict timeline yk, ur like seriously cool and i think any decision you take will be the best as along as your the one taking it ] [i wish i had answered this earlier so i couldve wish you good time on ur retreat but i hope it was good anyway💜💜💜💜💜💜💜]

man i need to like seriously cope up with my decisions cause i need to take an exam for my career which is seriously sooo..... but yea thats how its going

omg its raining here too and my college[which is seriously just a reformated jungle] turned into a swamp ish and they STILL didnt cancel classes. and i forgot my umbrella. i came back home like a sad wet cat .

gotta love that near-to-the-equator ass weather with climate change [i need to kill billionaires rn]

hope the strikes come to a fruitful end soon[for saf-aftra & iatse !!! fuck the amptp!!] but also i wouldnt mind waiting a couple years for btsv if the animators need that time to like animate in a safe and healthy manner yk

OH wait also im on my halloween movies watch rn!! just finished the addams family and watching paranorman rn [i need a gomez man btw. need him to be silly and obsessed and intense.and mwah]

[also if u wanna watch an indian series made in heaven is pretty cool(its okay-ish in terms of writing but it covers some very important social issues + the main leads are hot and dubious. what more do i need to watch a show)]

hobie kinda scratched a very specific itch in my brain like i want to be him AND kiss him , pavitr is so slay, and o'hara needs like a massage session thing where they unlock the trauma in ur knees or like a stamlo 50mg.

me & my friends fav fob lyrics was the 'how the mighty fall' cause we would do that "fall out...boi" intro everytime lol

i dont think i have a fave lyric but i think immortals was a top contender for reasons[i like big hero 6 :3]

Song rec: nothings new by rio romeo (saw it in a reels animatic and .. yea)

to many more yrs of late asks 🥂(appy juice cause i dont like the taste of alcohol)

my love and hopes to u💜💜💜 and also an umbrella for this weather☔

p.s. drink water/soup/iced tea + i care for u+ W in the chats

[princeandreis]

does anyone else hate how much mcyt use the word “p***y” like... i know to them it’s just like regular swearing (which i don’t have a problem with) but that’s a really ugly word and i wish they wouldn’t use it

[softness-and-shattering]

The point, to my admittedly ace perspective, is not literally about sex. It can be but thats not the point.

The point is we can sit around and bicker till the cows come home and achieve nothing for the greater cause of all our rights and acceptance and justice, or we could like, have a nice time and hag out and bond.

I think a point of contention here is what exactly is meant by bickering/discourse. Because what we need is a talmudic discussion and not verbal knives drawn looking for rhetorical weak points to stab.

What I mean by a talnudic discussion is this: the goal is to seek truth by way of considering various perspectives and the reasons behind them. Turn over points of discussion, find the weaknesses to better understand, to better clarify our own positions, to consider different sides. Grind the gem down and down till it sparkles most beautifully, impurities removed. (Idk im not a jeweller). Knead the bread till you get lovely gluten development. It might be me vs you but its my ideas and your ideas clashing to distill them. This is so many mixed metaphors so I hope Ive conveyed the idea. That we're all one the same team. We all want dignity and safety and respect and our needs met. We're all outcast by normative society for not conforming, or trying to conform, to the idea of an ideal human (ie perisex cishet white abled christian etc etc). Its different facets of the same struggle. We want the same goal and should be working together.

As opposed to, for example, nitpicking over whos allowed claim to what identity and which reclaimed slurs - the only words we have as queer people to describe ourselves - are allowed to be used by who. Thats not important. Lets talk about healthcare access instead. Or maybe im wrong and it is important, in which case lets discuss that.

And I think the other aspect of "actually we're all sucking and fucking" is some levity and some chill out time. Not everything all the time is deadly serious, thats neither healthy nor sustainable. Sometimes we seriously talk and listen and strategise, and sometimes we just chill with company who gets it. Sometimes we just hang out and have a good time. Which can include sex.

And side note, someone listening to your boundaries in bed specifically is obviously good, but if they dont respect who you say you are, and theyre calling you theyfab behind your back, friend they dont really respect you. Great that they'll behave themselves during sex, but thats not respect as a whole. (And unless ive misunderstood. Swaying someones opinion on "trans issues" doesnt like....im not sure why thats relevant to respect exactly? Ive lost the thought).

Trans girls and trans guys should spend less time having stupid and silly discourse with eachother and more time having depraved sex with eachother

Anyone who tells you that other trans people are your enemy is a fed.

Infighting shackles us, be free of your bonds and raw dog eachother

[twili]

Maybe its bc im for the most part genderfluid but like.... i still dont think g*enderb*nds are that offensive and are ment to be malicious and nasty to nb/trans ppl. I mean as someone that'd LOVE to change the way I present whenever I want to I dont see them as that terrible. With anything theres always negatives and I won't say its completely flawless bc its not but i genuinely think it should be reclaimed. No one said it has to be a "cis" thing either there's a whole vatiety in gender presentation and its not called "cisbending" to begin with who says you cant take a character and make them trans if they werent before. Theres so many ways you could switch things up gender wise. Like I said before there should be some boundaries bc not everything could be good like taking a trans character and making them cis is awful and that isnt acceptable. But I still think it should be something thats repurposed and reclaimed instead of just trying to forget it even happened when its so ingrained into fandoms already.

[dirt-str1der]

Chriat i just scrolled through my blog yall just deal with this ?

[myorgansaremelting]

i saw a post about like going to an lgbtq thing and being like "i wonder where all the trannies are, there should be a trans woman here"

and i get that trans women face a lot of struggles trans men dont

and someone replied in the tags that was like "or a trans man" which honestly i myself wouldnt comment or anything but like i dont think they meant it to be harmful or ignortant

and honestly ops response was really good! wanting a community of people who you can relate to with those specific trans fem expeirences is important! everyone needs community of people who have the same experiences as them!

and then some person reblogged op's response and was like saying that trans women walk on eggshells in even queer communities (which i get, a lot of more cis queer spaces are hostile to trans ppl) and that if they arent perfect women theyre targeted and harrassed

and it ended with saying like "To reiterate op: Where are the trannies at your fucking events? Quickly."

but are trans men not trannies? am i not as trans as a trans woman?

its the whole fucking "trans men cant say tranny discourse"

i feel like there are people who try to fucking divide this community because some people dont get that "trans men and women have different experiences in many places, and community of people who have the same as expeirences is good!" and "trans men and women are brothers and sisters and should stick together cause in everyone elses eyes we're still dirty trannies"

and im not mad at op or the people who reblogged or whoever, im not mad at all, theres a reason im not mentioning them, i understand why they feel that way

idk

i just

i dont wanna talk to much about this because now i sound like an asshole and i swear i swear im not an asshole or against trans women i love trans women and trans fems im dating a trans girl!!

idk sometimes i just feel like the community is really devided and both sides push each other out of spaces and i just fucking am so upset and now its bubbling over

i wanted to post about something but you know. not my place. i'll shut up and deal with it like i always have! i'm used to this! painfully fucking so! glad to know im not a real goddamned tranny