#idk. what if i choose to believe that people do appreciate me and want me around only for it to be revealed that i was right the first time?

[hexhomos]

Dropping into the Mel convo to add that I don't see how the stans that erase/ignore the Things She Actually Does And Says and claim she was just helping Jayce out of the goodness of her heart can claim that anyone pointing out that she's a billionaire imperialist who manipulated him for her own gain is racist when THEY'RE the ones claiming she spent all of season 1 helping a nonblack man for. idk. reasons. Why is it "better" for her to be a Black woman who supported a man and asked for nothing in return...?

That reading of her makes everything with her mother make no sense. Is she like, just mad her mom is interfering with her ability to Support and Love Jayce? Lmao.

The reading that the text and the inherent set up of the politics of Piltover/Zaun supports is a complex woman with her own personal motivations, wanting to live up to the image of the family she believes shunned her on her own (nonviolent) terms, using the craft of social engineering (manipulation, etc) within the political and economic sphere rather than through weaponry and warfare. She starts to shift due to growing some actual attachment to Jayce, but it's not a perfect switch flip, and then her mother arriving forces Mel to contend with what she had actually been doing by "preparing" the city for her family.

That's infinitely more interesting than "oh she just helped this guy out of the kindness of her pure heart and because he's hot" and also has canonical basis that can be pointed to In The Text. That's a complicated, multifaceted character. The fanon Mel who just helped Jayce because she's a good person is a flat, tired trope.

And personally, I find people who "love" characters but have completely inaccurate readings of them to be far more annoying than people who "hate" characters but understand them perfectly. Love/hate is just a matter of taste. If someone can spend time honestly analyzing a character, that's more important than ten thousand blandly positive comments or tweeted out fanfictions dressed up as appreciation.

Paragraph #2 on this actually blindsided me like I could kiss you on the cheek (consensually) rn I've never been able to properly articulate WHY the take rankled me so much even when I tried to see it from a completely best-possible-intentions perspective. And this gets it. It's like you're not even flattening her into a girlboss caricature, it's worse, you're actually making her a 2D saccharine pastry servant with no will of her own except furthering some man's narrative as his mommy and denying the one massive, defining character conflict Mel has in the entire show: she is her mother's daughter! She IS a wolf in sheepskin!

When you have all this power, all this privilege and resources at your disposal from day 1, and you choose to look the other way - what happens then? Is this really being kinder than her mother? Is this being merciful, or just prolonging a sort of system-wide torture? It's absolutely relevant to how we see kid-Mel in that flashback from s1 too. Her idea of mercy and salvation from her mother's more violent ends is to enslave someone. She puts it in gentle terms and dresses it up fancily as a beneficial thing to both parties, but that is what she is proposing, in the context of the Noxus' hostile invasion of Ionia; they'd chain that princess and mold her in training until she became an useful asset in their service. Is that kindness? Is that good? I don't think Mel is able to answer to this even in her big age during season 1.

She certainly thinks it could be, when compared to death, but it's also a lie she tells herself while she ignores the rest of the world and the place she holds within it. Mel hates getting her hands dirty, because she's never /had/ to do that to enjoy the brilliant spoils of success; her mother loves her enough to make sure she could avoid the bloodshed. She carries the strategist's fallacy of thinking whole wars and countries can be managed from the privileged seats up top, out of touch with the blood and gristle. From up there, when people die you don't see it. You can mark the numbers off as necessary collateral damage in the path to Exponential Growth.

The core assumption that has always bothered me is defining this as 'kindness' without actually examining what it says about her character and the story. She was created that way for a reason. She was clothed in this way for a reason. The first fact we learn about Mel in the first episode she appears in is that she is the richest person in the entire city, and then there is a 10 year timeskip, and she hasn't truly done anything to address or prop up the undercity at all (they are ONE city too, under her own philosophy; Zaun is only a separate entity in the mouths of the zaunites who want freedom.) In that context, when her goal of statecraft clearly is to continue advancing Piltover as much as it can be advanced and do nothing about the screaming bleeding diseased dying hordes below the bowels of her capital - is that goodness? Is that really better than mother? I think Mel's arc is about finding out really quickly and really horrifically that it isn't, and that she played a big part in making a lot of things worse.

It's not that she failed at her job, it's quite the opposite. She succeeded in her mission so incredibly well her mother could swoop into power in a single day and then put another hundred necks to the blade, no sweat, and Mel has to reckon with what that says about her, and what she thought of herself. The power she has obviously always had and never sought to use as it Should have been used.

The idealistic future-path here is that now in full control of her Mother's armies, she's returning to Noxus to challenge the predatory system it perpetuates on a world scale, but only god knows what we'll see come January. And all of this is infinitely more interesting to me than docile fandomized ship accessory n.9999

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[julymusings]

Jason Todd & Cooking

I always go back and forth on how much I want to include "Jason loves to cook" in my writing because I'm not sure how much is canon and how much is fanon so can we open it up to discussion pretty please I'd love to hear other people's thoughts.

Here are my arguments:

Experience: Jason grew up poor and largely had to parent himself. So he must know a little bit of cooking, even if it's the bare basics that's only enough to keep him alive. It's plausible this taught him how to be creative and thrifty with meals because he had to make do with whatever he had, so we can assume that if you drop him in a kitchen with random ingredients, he can figure something out.

Knife skills: I've seen other authors (myself included) write him as good in the kitchen because he's efficient with a knife from being a vigilante. I don't have much to say on this, just that I think that's also a fair assumption considering he underwent training with the League of Assassins and became highly-skilled with wielding blades.

Love language: He's the kind of person who, due to his trauma, has difficulty opening up to people and trusting them (it's confirmed he cries during sex so this is an objective fact idc). When it comes to having a romantic partner, it might not be easy for him to express affection through words, so he relies on actions. If you like flowers, he buys you flowers. If you like a dish, he makes it for you. So yeah, this might not have concrete evidence in canon, but I'm gonna choose to believe that he would enjoy cooking for someone he loves.

Art hoe?: We know he appreciates good literature, so does that extend to other forms of creativity?

Hands: (I don't actually know how much of this is based in canon but whatever) He likes to work on his bike, he's meticulous with taking care of his guns & weapons, so it's safe to assume he likes working with his hands. It's engaging enough to distract him from his thoughts and he feels satisfied/proud when he's done with the work. So even if it's not something he loves to do as a "safe space" because of cherished memories with Alfred or anything, he might still enjoy it.

^^on that note, what do you think some of his 'safe spaces' are? Like I guess reading would be one, maybe working on his bike would be another? Idk, what does anyone else think. p.s. I'm using safe space to mean something that makes him feel happy and gives him a break from his demons yk

Also I did only make this as a defense for the "Jason Todd had a charcuterie board obsession phase" post sitting in my drafts because I BELIEVE he DID!!!!!!!!

Anyway please let me know your thoughts I'm frothing at the mouth for human interaction

[changbinsboobs]

Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss

This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no i don't)

Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1

Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂

Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.

Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:

He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!

More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗

Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.

He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.

He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.

While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂

Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.

[frvnkcastles]

hello my love!!! i was wondering if i could request a fic with a reader who finds it hard to accept affection (even though she loves and craves it), especially in public getting super embarrassed and thinking everyone is staring and judging because why would someone like FRANK be with someone like them??? but frank is just determined at all times to show how much he cares and knows to respect boundaries but also how to push back a little and open the reader up to accepting open affection more. idk if that makes sense? i'm sorry if it doesn't

WITH MY TUNNEL VISION ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You struggle with affection, but Frank is determined to give it to you.

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, anxiety, feminine nicknames

Word count: 1.3k

Author’s note: I loved this request so much and I was so worried about not doing it justice, but I tried my best!! I hope you like it :)

Even months after you and Frank had more or less officially started dating, you couldn’t believe how lucky you were. He saw himself as someone damaged and broken, but you thought he was the greatest man you had ever gotten to know, and admired him from inside out. He was caring and protective and no doubt easy on the eyes — and most days, you appreciated that wholeheartedly. Some days, you felt insecure. Full of doubt and wonder that he would choose to be with you, and that only heightened whenever you were out in public together.

So, when Curtis and his girlfriend invited you and Frank to a bar for a night out, you were stressed to say the least. You felt completely out of place, like you had no business being by Frank’s side, his arm casually over your shoulders as he laughed at whatever Curtis had just said.

”You okay?” Frank’s deep voice cut through the buzz in your head, and when he ducked down to brush his lips against your forehead, you instinctively dodged — and in an instant, guilt rushed into your system and you could physically feel the air getting awkward. ”Hey, what’s wrong?” Frank added with a frown, unsure where the hesitation was coming from. You had been fine before going out, not a single sign of being mad at him to be seen, and his kisses well-received.

”I’m gonna get another drink”, you evaded the question, and as you turned for the bar, you could feel their eyes on you. That was the feeling you had wanted to avoid — like you were being watched and judged, and here it was, anyway.

You weren’t by yourself for very long. As soon as you were seated by the bar, Frank was following and leaning against the counter to catch your wandering eyes. ”Sweetheart”, he grunted, tilting his head to meet your gaze, ”talk to me.”

Inhaling sharply, you glanced at him before returning your eyes to the bartender mixing your drink. ”You know what’s wrong”, you insisted, but when Frank just stared back at you, you sighed. ”It’s the… affection. Feels weird in public”, you explained further, and with realization dawning on his face, he slowly nodded.

Hell, he hadn’t been the most touchy person, either. But something about you had made it feel safe and secure again, like it was okay for him to be happy and show that to everyone else.

”Baby… ’m sorry, I… shit, yeah, I do remember you mentionin’ that”, he cleared his throat, watching you closely and aching to touch you. ”How come you don’t like it?” Frank wondered with a tone of sincerity, not trying to push your buttons but to understand you better — and as much as you wanted to be frustrated, you understood that.

”I dunno”, you shrugged, but you already knew he wasn’t going to take that for an answer. ”I guess I just feel like people will stare. And—and judge me”, you went on, and with an incredulous chuckle, Frank knitted his eyebrows together.

”Judge you?” he repeated with confusion, and nodding, you drew a generous sip from your drink.

”Yeah, you know, just… you’re… you. And I’m just me. And why would you choose to be with me, right? Everyone can see it. You could do so much better and I swear, if people see you kissing me, they’ll just wonder what you’re doing with me, wasting your time on me”, you rambled, and by the end of your rant, you were flustered and looking around to make sure you hadn’t been too loud. Even now, with Frank only inches away from you, you were sure eyes were on you.

Frank processed your words for a moment. ”Hey, you know that’s total bullshit, right?” he spoke finally, giving you a grave look, his curious smile long gone. ”If anything, people will wonder what a stunner like you is doing with an ugly mug like mine. And even if that were the case, I don’t really fuckin’ care what other people think. You’re my girl, and no one else matters”, he defended you, seething at the mere idea of someone looking at you wrong.

”Did ya see someone starin’? ’Cause you know I’ll fight ’em”, he changed his tone suddenly, glancing around to pinpoint any lurkers, but you quickly placed a calming hand on his forearm.

”I didn’t. It’s just my anxieties, that’s all”, you sighed in defeat, and taking in a breath, Frank turned back to you and nodded.

”And you know it’s all lies, right? Just your head tryna mess with my girl”, he pointed out, and as much as you wanted to justify your fears somehow, you couldn’t help but admit he was right.

”So, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna agree on a safeword that you can use if it gets too much. Until you say it, I’mma dote on you ’til you’re spoiled rotten, ’cause I wanna show you how much I goddamn admire you and I don’t really care who’s around to see”, he proposed, and with a smile curving your lips back up, you stared at him in disbelief — here he was proving yet again that he was everything.

”Deal.”

You tried your very best to tolerate the public displays of affection, because truthfully, you wanted them. You craved his touch and his attention, and behind closed doors, you were hungry for it. So you tried to extend the same courtesy out and about, pushing your own limits because deep down you knew he was right about other people not mattering.

And the greatest part was seeing how happy Frank was. You were the first serious relationship he had found himself in since Maria and it had taken him a long time to relearn how to be in one. But slowly, he had unraveled what worked for him and you, and discovered that he really, really wanted to show his girl off.

So whenever you were out, he made sure to hold your hand or have his arm around your shoulders. Every now and then he would lean in to kiss your forehead or cheek, sometimes even lips, and you were learning how to lean in instead of pull away.

A month later you were back at the same bar with Curt and his girlfriend, on a night when it was especially busy. Frank could tell you were nervous, but trusting in the progress you had made together, he kept you close to him.

”So, things are good?” Curtis queried while Frank was getting you a new drink, and with a beaming smile, you nodded.

”Things are great. He makes me really happy”, you chuckled sheepishly, and just in time, Frank appeared from behind you, handing over your drink.

”Who’s the lucky guy?” he grinned, and softly nudging him, you snorted.

And then, as if it was the most natural thing, you thanked him for the drink by giving him a kiss, and as soon as your lips left his, you could see the amazed stare in his eyes. Immediately, you realized what you had done, and you opened your mouth to say something, but panic washed over you and you were rendered speechless.

”No, no, baby, it’s okay. You did good. You did perfectly”, Frank breathed out, his eyes full of love as he leaned down to cup your cheeks and kiss your nose and jaw and forehead. ”No one’s lookin’, I promise. It’s just you and me, right?” he whispered, resting his forehead against yours.

You caught your breathing and managed a nod, and when you glanced at Curtis and found him preoccupied with his girlfriend, relief washed over you. ”Yeah, it’s okay”, you swallowed when you looked around, confirming that truly, no one cared. No one was judging.

”Love you”, Frank spoke quietly before leaving a kiss right next to your ear, and squeezing his hand, you dropped your head on his shoulder.

”Love you.”

[crystallizsch]

despite twst being a "villain" game

i love it when i see how certain characters speak to certain people. like how people just relate to their struggles/personalities/etc.

there’s riddle coming to terms that not everything has to be perfect, unlearning from what he has been taught growing up that not everything has to be followed to the letter;

ace who is gungho and earnest about what he believes in and has the natural inclination to defend those he grows to genuinely care about;

deuce always striving to improve himself despite setbacks and being aware of his own shortcomings;

leona who acts like he’s given up from being cast aside his entire life and coming to terms to the fact that there are people that do look to him as a leader, as someone who’s worth something;

floyd who unapologetically just does what he wants, choosing to do things that interests him at the moment;

kalim choosing to be happy and kind always, living life everyday to the fullest knowing what he’s gone through;

jamil with the expectations and obligations to essentially "perform" and do things for others more than for himself, especially when he has the potential to shine by himself with his own abilities;

vil rejecting gender norms and restrictions, while still being confident in his own masculinity, and also wanting other people to bring out their best and truest potential even though he may be strict about it;

rook being able to pick out so meticulously the beauty in everything and everyone whenever no one else is able to;

idia with his introverted yet very passionate energy towards things he cares about;

silver with his love and dedication for those he considers his family;

malleus with his loneliness and bringing out his genuine self with someone he's able to consider a friend;

i know some of these sound pretty surface-level but these are the ones that just came to mind at the moment, these are not my full-on thoughts on each of them

my point overall is i just really love seeing when there’s a character that REALLY speaks to someone that doesn’t particularly speak to me because it gives me a whole new perspective on characters i initially didn’t care about or didn’t like and makes me appreciate them more

also it just shows how how these characters are different enough in that sense so that there are characters for everyone to love and relate to 🥺💕

i could gush more about relationship dynamics as well but this is getting long enough hfdsfjsljlks anyways i would love to see others’ own takes and why a particular character(s) relates to them or why they just like them in general 👉👈 i want to spread some good vibes 💖 but anyways idk these are just my thoughts 🤧

[alevolpe]

If Makoto and Ami are a baker and her doctor wife, what jobs do the other sailor scouts have?

Also what medical specialty is Dr. Mizuno in? (Dr. Kino? Who took whose last name?)

Oh, good question!

I see Usagi becoming a mangaka assistant! We've seen Usagi being quite the talented artist in canon, and she obviously loves reading manga, so I can pretty easily see her turning that into a career. That said, she might dip her toes a few times on making her own manga, but given the extremely strenous work hours, I don't see her publishing anything more than a pretty popular short series and a few one shots. She decides to stick mostly with assistant jobs.

I can easily see Rei just sticking to being a priestess at Hikawa Shrine. There's ups and downs about it, but I do believe she genuinely cares for the temple and keeping up its legacy after her grandfather's passing. Will it be her forever goal? Maybe not. Maybe later in life, she chooses to embark on a different path, perhaps being the singer she always dreamed of becoming.

Mina is all over the freaking place. This might be a bit of a controversial take, but I never really see her blowing up, as to say. She never becomes the biggest idol ever, like she always dreamed of, and that's not even from lack of trying. Some of her songs do go viral, but I just don't believe she's really cut for it at the end. She branches out and becomes a bit of a niche micro celebrity, mostly online, but makes the occasional radio and TV appearances. She mostly writes and performs her own songs and participates in popular radio broadcasts and podcasts. Still pays the bills, but won't cause her to get swarmed from just walking out in public.

Michiru has enough wealth and affluence to be able to live in luxury her whole life and the next 10+ generations to come without moving a single finger, but that's not what she wants. She just keeps on creating. Music, art, you name it. She just has an endless passion and appreciation for it. It makes her money, yes, but that's not her job really. She does it because she loves it.

Haruka.. I mean, Haruka lives in luxury as well. I think I said this before, but I see Haruka coming from an incredibly poor upbringing. She's basically as rich as she is because of Michiru and she's always very grateful and humble for her position. She doesn't become a race car driver (idk if people know how much you have to put into that career, it basically becomes your whole life and takes YEARS AND YEARS of training). I simply see her helping out her local garage shop regularly. When you're that rich, you can kind of do whatever you want, but Haruka's no slacker. She loves feeling useful and helping others.

Now, if you ask me personally, I see Ami being either a trauma surgeon or a brain surgeon. I know canonically she wants to be a pediatrician, but my Ami is a bit different. She's not nearly as apt with kids as her canon counterpart. Saeko before her being one of the most influential and renowned neurosurgeons in Japan.

Answering your last question.. I genuinely could swing either way. On one hand, Ami keeping her mother's last name (yes, it's her mother's, not her father's, idc) is very important, not only to her as her mother's daughter, but also as a form of respect and tradition to her family before her. Saeko, having kept her last name from her own father. It has become a bit of a status symbol in the medical and scientific fields, which Ami would only work to strengthen even further.

On the other hand, Kino has endless value to Makoto. In many ways, it's the most meaningful and everlasting memento left by her parents. It's a promise. A promise to stay true to herself, to be kind and to be brave, like her parents always taught her. It would be hard for her to let go of it, but it's a struggle that would die at her lips forever. She would never voice it to Ami. There's some problems that Mako will always just choose to deal with by herself.

All that said, I personally tend to default to Ami keeping her last name, Dr. Mizuno.

[brynnsasha191]

“Rhaenyra's own fans will turn on her”

I’m thinking about Emma’s interview where they outright reject Rhaenicent, this is the first time they have ever done this and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because they’re aware of how fan’s were reacting to Rhaenyra’s character.

Actors don’t live in a bubble, they have access to social media and their PR teams would make them aware of public response.

So Emma would be made well aware that Rhaenyra was losing fans to Jace, her indecisiveness to avenge Luke was turning TB against her, no one was interested in supporting a Queen who didn’t actually want to be Queen etc.

Hell all they’d need to do is check out the dislikes for the Dragonstone scene on YouTube to know just how much the general audience appreciated the Rhaenicent reunion that just a few months ago the writers were bragging about being something fans were dying to see.

It’s probably why they asked for Rhaenyra to use a sword in S3, so she can actually do something other than stand around complaining whilst the men take charge.

If the writers do try to prioritise Rhaenicent over Jace I can’t see Emma supporting it, 2x08 was ironically enough Nyra’s saving grace because she demanded a son for a son, but like previous anon said, if she turns around and chooses Alicent again fans will drop her like a hot potato.

I've honestly decided I don't like Emma or Olivia that much. They are fabulous actors but alas. I firmly believe that Olivia never actually shipped Rhaenicent, and every time she mentioned it and interacted with Rhaenicents had nothing to do with shipping them. I had a conversation with @atopcat about this a little bit ago. Olivia only faked liking rhaenicent because it kept her popular with that portion of the fandom, and then when people were completely done with that and Alicent lost her fan base, Oliva backtracked and started to disavow the ship, by saying she was portraying Alicent like 'she wanted to spit in Rhaenyra's face' and stopping interaction with those fans.

Emma on the other hand was neutral on rhaenicent and didn't mention it much but then when Olivia/Alicent lost their fanbase, they started completely rejecting it in an attempt to save themselves from Olivia's fate. I don't trust Emma or Olivia with writing shit anymore. Emma was responsible for the queer baiting that was the kiss with Mysaria. And Olivia was responsible for the Rhaenicent meet ups. Hot take: actors shouldn't be able to just ask for a scene because this stuff happens. I know Emma is just trying to save their job but it still feels tacky to me

They are both clearly doing damage control. Because Emma probably does know their characters carelessness for her sons is more important than a badly written and toxic yuri ship. Rhaenyra's popularity has been almost entirely transferred to Jace. Because Jace can actually make decisions with crying and throwing a two episode tantrum over it. As the previous anon said, do you know how incompetent you made your leading lady if you left people preferring her 16 year old son over her??? Rhaenyra started losing fans the second they butchered Luke's death, just wanting Aemond's head, which she changed her mind about, when in the book she wanted all the greens dead. She lost more fans when she basically spat in Jace's face about him not wanting to dragonseeds. What finally stopped the leak was when she said a son for a son, which was the first time Luke had been mentioned in a couple episodes.

In the Sept scene in KL, Rhaenyra mentions Luke literally once and not nearly as ferociously as Book!Rhaenyra would've.

I wish I could say I believe the writers and actors will wise up and stop this but I honestly don't. I wouldn't put it past them to completely double down on it and have Rhaenyra chose Alicent over her babies. Hopefully, Emma could see how disliked that is and stop it but idk.

Here's a friendly reminder for the writers: the love Rhaenyra had for her babies was well written in s1! She loved them with all her heart. I have no idea why you changed that for Rhaenicent!!! Go back! Rhaenyra loves her babies. Don't ruin Jace's death the way you did Luke's

[sleepanonymous]

I just want to put in my two cents on the whole band identity thing since stuff is going around atm: As far as I am aware, please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, Vessel and the rest of the band have never explicitly stated that the masks are supposed to hide their identities for safety purposes.

Vessel said in that Metal Hammer interview that music is pushed based on who or who isn’t in a band, and that their identities are unimportant. To me, this says that their masks are a form of commentary against the popularity contest/politics within the modern music industry.

Not doxxing/harassing/doing other harmful behaviors to the band members should be the bare minimum and common sense, but of course, people have shown us and the band otherwise and I understand that has made some within the fandom become even more protective/vigilant with information related to the identities in the band.

That being said, I personally don’t see any issue with knowing who they are if you want to know and it shouldn’t be looked down on within the fandom. I think there can be a respectful divide between those who know and those who don’t want to. I found out by accident, but knowing what I know has given me a much deeper appreciation for Sleep Token in all of its iterations in a way I don’t think I would have gotten to otherwise.

I think some fans feel as though they’re betraying the band by knowing their identities and I disagree with that level of stigma. I can’t imagine any of the guys being offended about their fans looking into past projects/bands they’ve been involved in, and having huge support from all of us if one or more members decided to do a solo feature for another band would be incredible!

In my opinion, I think we need to reframe how their identities are handled within the fandom at large: they’re not in witness protection, they just prefer for their audience to put the majority of their focus on the music instead of the people playing it. It’s obvious that Vessel takes great pride in his craft and, based on the MH interview, it seems like his main goal here is to have his music speak for itself instead of becoming another soulless corporate shill. Just something for all of us to consider and I’d love to know your thoughts as well.

Worship.

So sorry it took a few days to respond to this ask. I wanna be a little less subjective to give you a platform, Anon, but you are correct in the fact that Vessel and the band never said their anonymity was explicitly for safety (although there’s a valid argument that that is a given assumption, as you also stated).

If needed for context, the quote from the Amped Up Kerrang Article (idk if you meant this article, Anon, or if Ves said something in one of the Metal Hammer ones and I forgot; lmk in another ask or dm and i’ll add to this post):

“Art has become entangled with identity,” Him says of the band’s anonymity. “The aim is to provide something people can engage with without being obstructed by the identity of its creator. The true identities behind Sleep Token are irrelevant. Our identity is represented through the art and music itself.”

I do believe their anonymity is both a device for creating more powerful music as well as a clever way to market the band. Humans are naturally curious and we are drawn to mysteries. Its interesting to see how it has morphed into this beast of those who know and those who do not (and those who do know, pretend they do not, and then ostracize those who do know while also creeping in online spaces they should definitely not know about if not knowing identities mattered that much to them). The band’s anonymity has created a fanbase full of toxic interactions that I’m certain they never intended to cause.

I don’t fault any fan for their views, or if they choose to seek out identities or not. I only have a problem with it when views are forced onto others maliciously.

[batmansblushofrobins]

Bridgerton as an AroAce

As an aromantic asexual, I have a lot of thoughts on romance in media and amatonormativity. I used to just hate all romance on sight--it got to the point that any time a book hinted at two people getting together, I would get annoyed. It took me a while realize it’s not the romance that bothers me, but how it is treated as something to be wanted by everyone even in worlds on the other side of the universe. I like watching things centered on romance but dislike romance being inserted into other genres (plus, established relationships/domestic fluff makes me cringe). I've grown more tolerant over time and can even appreciate some canon ships if they are done well; the first of which I can remember enjoying was Six of Crows, and I could write a whole other essay on why its romantic pairings worked; however, I would much rather read fanfiction about two characters getting together that I feel have the right chemistry for it than chance reading or watching something with romance that I will, in all likelihood, hate. There was a post on here a while back that talked about how if they were reading fanfiction, that meant they were specifically seeking romance out and in the mood for it. I will try to find and link it, because it's really relevant here.

Anyways, enough of the personal preface. Here are my romance-related thoughts on Bridgerton Season 1:

The only other romance shows I've enjoyed are the Pride and Prejudice 80’s miniseries and Heartstopper, so I surprised myself by liking Bridgerton.

SIMON/DAPHNE: Obviously I liked this season enough to keep going, but, looking back, I like it the least. It has a lot to do with Daphne SAing him and being forgiven by the narrative (it made me do the whatever is the opposite of putting on rose-coloured glasses when I remember the season. spilling milk over the film reel? idk), but even if I think of their relationship before that happened, it’s not my favourite. I liked the fake dating trope, but sometimes the misunderstandings were a bit much. Every time they talked, things improved. I know that it's for the drama, but I was still annoyed when they avoided each other again and again.

ELOISE: I related to her so much. She had no love interest this season. She rejected social conventions and the typical path for a lady, was more interested in reading than the idea of courting someone, and wanted to remain a spinster with Penelope forever. So many of her lines resonated with me. I knew because of the type of show that there was no way they would keep her single, but I guess I still had hoped for the impossible.

Season 2:

KATHANI/ANTHONY: This was my favourite pairing of the whole show. I loved how they could be vulnerable together and how many parallels there were between them, such as them feeling the need to protect their younger siblings. Anthony choosing to marry Edwina frustrated me, but I was frustrated at the characters rather than the writers. It felt in-character instead of being there to further the plot along.

ELOISE: This season, Eloise anxiously made her debut. Her mother pushed for her to give love a chance. Violet is well intentioned, but she believes romantic love is the only way to be happy in life since it was what made her happy. Eloise dodged potential suitors and stuck close to Penelope at the balls. Despite this, she got a love interest as I feared. Her relationship with Theo was… cute, unfortunately. I was still upset that she needlessly got a love interest, but at least it was based around intellect which is true to Eloise’s character. Another thing that happened this season was that Kate told her that being a spinster is not as great as one would think. That is probably true for the time period since women didn’t have the freedom to move about the world without a chaperone, but it still perpetuates the idea that single people, specifically women, won’t be happy long-term.

[thefloorisbalaclava]

Hello 💕

I love your headcanons so i thought maybe i could ask for something.

Actually i don't know if you have your requests open or not, but if not please ignore this and just delete or idk wathever.

Could i ask you how the tf 141 + könig would act with a chubby s/o? (Gn please if you can) .

Like y/n is pretty confident and all, always cause chaos with soap and gaz, but the moment someone hug or touch them they just panic cause they think they disgust everyome and is being touched just for pity or for fun?

I know is a strange request, but this is a daily struggle for me and i could use some comfort rn.

Thank you if you choose to do this 💜

I can definitely do this for you, my dear 💙

Ghost:

This is a guy who is not sure how to react when someone touches him in a gentle way. He's just not used to it. He almost immediately notices your discomfort when people hug or just touch you playfully. He knows it's not exactly an adverse reaction, but more of nervous reaction.

When he first hugs you, though...you somehow don't feel that discomfort. His hugs and touches come from a place of love, not pity. Every touch from him makes you feel a little more sure of yourself. He loves nothing more than lying with you and appreciating every inch whether it's with kisses or touches and it's NEVER from pity. He just loves every part of you.

Soap:

Touch is his love language, whether it's an arm around your shoulder or hand holding. He notices how you stiffened in his arms when he hugged you and, at first, he thought it was because of him, but when you told him what it really was, he told you that "nothing could be further from the truth, love".

There is no way this man is gonna sit and do nothing when you start feeling bad about yourself. And I know a lot of us see him as a silly guy and someone who loves shenanigans, but when it comes to being concerned with you, he couldn’t be any more serious. But, of course, he will always do something to make you smile or laugh.

Captain John Price:

John loves your confidence, it's part of what drew him to you in the first place. Our dear captain has a keen eye though and he knows when something is wrong...especially with you. He notices your nervousness and hesitation when he puts his arms around you. He notices the way you tense. He doesn't wait to talk to you about it.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" He asks, and you know there's no lying to him. He knows that just telling you that he loves your body is not going to fix anything, but he slowly works on building the confidence within you. Maybe he'll stand you in front of a mirror, and as he stands behind you, he touches the places you feel insecure about and asks you, "do I look disgusted to you?" You shake your head no.

Gaz:

This sweet boy is so madly in love with you that it almost makes him angry that you feel that way about yourself, especially when he touches you. He wants to do anything and everything to make you feel better.

Your size never mattered to him, so it's a little hard for him to grasp that you feel the way you do about yourself. But he's so easy to talk to and a great listener so expressing the way you feel and why comes easy.

König:

Like Soap, touch is König’s love language. To think that you might not want him to touch you makes him sad, but he will do anything for you. You explain to him that it is not his touch that bothers you but the way you feel about yourself.

He can't believe that you would ever use the word disgusting to describe yourself because you are the most lovely person he's ever seen. But, in a way, he also understands. Everyone is always going on about how tall he is to the point where he feels awkward and uncomfortable. He knows it's not the same situation, but it makes you smile that he is trying to make you feel better in any way he can. If anything, it brings you two closer.

[Masterlist]

[loquarocoeur]

Maybe I’m the only one here like, I would love the proposal fic and I can’t wait for it, but sometimes you say it like it’s some form of finality to the yours verse, so I was so so happy that you decided on “more character development”, there’s never enough of the yours verse I can get, never be enoUGH~~~~~

There’s still so much kinks they could discover within each other! And so much more sweet and tenderness! Thank you for all the comfort the yours verse has brought me 😘

Okay listen I'm so sorry that I'm going to be using your completely lovely and innocent ask specifically to explain what's going on in my head, so this isn't just directed at you (i love you and i agree with you tysm) so don't freak out this is for everyone not you but YES okay:

So you're not wrong, it is a kind of finality to me.

Like obviously I know it's not that serious and I can just add in things before the proposal fic as I choose, I intentionally said that the fics aren't chronological for this kind of situation, but it still just feels a little.. set in stone you know?

Like there's so much more I want to explore about them, I feel like I don't even fully know them yet so how the hell am I meant to know where they would propose and how and what they would say and just what??

Because you know I'll be honest I currently have no intention about writing about a wedding (just personally kind of hate weddings sorry) or about married life or about kids for that matter, in terms of a timeline, the proposal probably would be the end of the yours verse for the forseeable future

So now how do I do them justice without even entirely knowing who they are yet???

There's just so much more about them that I could potentially explore and obviously I could just do the proposal thing and then add other things earlier into the series, but it also just feels kind of wrong and backwards

Like what if I discover something about them that I want to add into the proposal but now I can't because I already wrote the proposal? Or I want to add a new elemwnt to their relationship, but I can't because I already wrote the proposal one way, idk if you know what I mean bur whatever you get the point

Idk, it just feels like something very set in stone and very final which is a bit silly but I'm also just a little too attached to these characters that I've turned them into, they deserve more than me just writing the proposal now because I think I should

So yeah this is what I mean when I say I'm having a really hard time with the proposal fic and I'm actually really regretting saying that I'll write one bcs I kind of feel like I have to now? I have no idea what was going through my head, like I did put myself in this position of expectation all on my own and I know myself well enough to know that never ends well and that's why I try not to talk about my wips too much but alright I'll admit it I was stupid and I did it anyway and I fucked up

The thing is just of course I want to write it, but I feel like now there's people who are asking for and wanting it and they want it soon and I neither want to write it quicker just because I'm being asked to nor do I want to refuse to write it out of spite just because I feel pressured and annoyed about it

I do want to write it, I'm just not sure I'm ready yet? And I really don't want to make decisions abt what I write based on the readers, I want to make those decisions based on what I want you know?

Okay, I'm so sorry for babbling at your innocent anon ask like pls believe me when I say the tone in this explanation is not meant to be accusatory or rude or anything and it's definitely not directed at you personally, this is just an explanation directed at everyone who cares about the proposa and I'm just slightly panicking and trying to explain myself to people here and also reluctantly admitting that asking for the proposal fic does nothing but freak me out and also slightly annoy me, like seriously with all my love, I appreciate it and I feel bad saying it, but asking for it really doesn't help, I'm so sorry<33

[kaqcuille]

Apparently!

Kartik didn't actually play Manjulika mostly, it was a stunt double named Pia Soni, who was the faceless dancer in the intro, and then the masked manjulika. She also claims to have done the climax tandav to the Sonu Nigam song, and in her comments under her reels says that Kartik's face was added using vfx.

That means he just did the dance as Debu in the green dress during the flashback and just at the end while attaining moksha apparently

Idk why this made me so sad like I got really attached and impacted by a mainstream actor playing a transwoman's role or a feminine role and they couldn't even care to have him do the full thing! Couldn't he have trained in classical dance and done it himself? He's trained hard for his other movies like Chandu champion so why was this done like this?

I mean I hope this lady is not telling the truth fully because I don't wanna believe he didn't do like 90% of it, especially the dance as the ghost

But she has pictures with the cast and director and photos of getting ready

Maybe she was just a body double due to Kartik's double role in the same scene?

Idek why this is so upsetting to me ugh but I thought yall would understand this very very niche thing lol

Anyway here's her Instagram account you can look at her bts reels and comments: https://www.instagram.com/piaaasoni24?igsh=MWEzZ253a3A3dGFsbA==

I've literally dm-ed her to confirm 😭

Hey! Sorry we took a while to answer this, but you raised many important points that we (the mods) had to discuss and come up with an answer that covered everything we wanted to say.

So, first of all, we agree with your main point! It would have been much nicer if Kartik Aaryan had learned and performed the dance himself. This movie is far from perfect at representing various identities, not just trans. You would have noticed this yourself, but bollywood has a track record of being bad with representation and the movie itself does other reps very wrong. To name just a couple, overall Bengali rep (randomly using Bengali words and sounds intermixed with Hindi) and using bits of Hukkus Phukkus (a Kashmiri song) out of cultural context. It's not a movie where the makers put a lot of thought into any of the identities they represented!

So then, how do we at the kaqcuille look at this movie? When we interact which SKTKS or BB3, we do it not because either are 'good rep' but its because we find potential for exploration in their stories and character arcs. We've adopted them because we want them and their queer identities treated right in a way that appeals to real queer people (us).

It is understandable if you feel betrayed by the double's IG post when Debu's dance was such an important point in your gender journey. That frustration is understandable, it would have held so much more meaning had KA did it himself. That being said, doubles and small time actors rarely get recognition for the work they put in and a part of us is ok if the double gets due credit for a standard industry job that she did in a mainstream movie!

We also understand having high expectations of KA as an actor because of the work he puts in in his dance numbers and movies in general. But we recently found out that for dance sequences in SKTKS where his abs show, KA was starved and dehydrated for hours and that left a bad taste in all our mouths. We had to take a moment before we could go back to appreciating the work he put in for SKTKS. It is valid to have high expectation of actors and we wish doubles and extras were unionized and getting due credit for all they do and what actors are expected of by current movie standards didn't come at the cost of exploitation. But we must remember when we interact with Bollywood's content, that there is an underlying exploitative, capitalist industry and we are going to see intersection of a myriad of issues when mainstream Bollywood chooses an identity or storyline for its character(s).

We understand and agree with your main points and hope this answer provides some more dimensions to think about as you wade through this 💜

[tenebrius-excellium]

Alright folks, so here's a thing...

I catch myself talking pretty negatively lately. About everything. I criticize a lot - often my first comment on something is a negative statement, no matter what it is about. It used to be just how things were for me - a sign of depression, I suppose - but with life having improved, and things having become significantly better for me over the last year, I now notice myself doing this. And I kinda really want to stop doing it, but I can't seem to help myself somehow.

In a way, I guess, it remains a way to ask for help. A sort of "will people still love me if I say negative things" bit I guess. "Am I allowed to criticize and have honest negative emotions" bla bla. Can I expect to be respected and comforted through a down time. And that's valid.

But I don't want to be doing this anymore for the sake of doing it. I don't want to drag others down with my negativity and bad commentary. Especially in this social media climate that we're living in right now. I would rather provide hope, and make someone's day better. I would like to adopt a more positive outlook on life.

E.g. WHY on earth am I posting negative stuff about Httyd 2025 if I don't like it. Can't I just say nothing. Well, Idk the trailers and all that bring up old comforting emotions for me, and they remind me of something long gone that I loved very, very much.

Constantly talking negative stuff is a fear response, I believe. So.

Can I be honest with my mutuals and do two things:

a) ask for help here on how to change this habit? I don't want to simply replace my speech with forced positive stuff, that just seems fake to me. Any REAL ideas on how to build a different mindset? I'd appreciate the tips!

b) would you call me out on it? If I make a personal post (tagged #wherethekiteflies) and you get annoyed with my negative stance in this post, would you comment on it? Just "fear" or "naysay" or just something quick that makes me rethink how I worded smth and why? Idk choose your own thing. Gimme a fish emoji. Anything to let me know that maybe I put on too many downvibes lol.

Dangit I'm almost crying making this post. Definitely a fear thing. But I wanna change this, and it's got to come from the inside, so. Help.

Thank you in advance. I trust you

Reddie

[zenonaa]

idk if anyone has noticed the number of tofu fics (or fics in general) that i write/post has gone down in the past few years, but i want to kind of talk about that. i love togafuka. i love writing. my love for them has not diminished.

in early 2022, my mother was hospitalised and soon diagnosed with cancer. she came to live with me for the next 5-6 months during her chemo treatment and such. as well as helping look after her (and seeing her ups and downs) i was working a full-time job and looking after my younger brother a lot who is autistic and epileptic (the latter was diagnosed this year). my father worked and helped how he could, my sister helped my mum a lot but my sister and younger brother were in their early twenties at the time so i felt like a lot of the responsibility fell on me.

i appreciate the time i spent with my mother in that time, i would not change that, but it was very traumatic for me. my relationship with her wasn't always the best growing up, and i think she had mental issues that she refused to get help for that caused a lot of it (and i was a troubled kid too, well-behaved but depressed/socially anxious. also prob have autism). everyday i would see my mother get stronger, or weaker. i remember one night, my brother woke up crying (mum was in my bed, i was downstairs on a sofa bed and bro was on a beanbag bed) saying he was scared she'd never get better. i had to comfort him and support him a lot, all the while trying to be optimistic and keep myself together.

she was meant to have surgery to try to remove the cancer in october 2022, but it was cancelled due to her thyroid. in early december 2022, she went to have fluids drained and i went too. a nurse told her in front of me how they wouldn't resuscitate her which wasn't... great. anyway, she had to be moved to the hospital because she wasn't draining, and a bit before christmas, she told us that she was terminal. on my last visit to her (23rd), i forced myself not to cry and as i left, i said i loved her and i'd see her on xmas.

on xmas day, she passed away. the hospital had lost our phone number, so we found out when a friend who had been with her phoned us. can't describe how surreal that day was. she was supposed to come home after the hospital stay. she told me to make her bed at home. we were going to visit her on xmas. she was going to have chemo again in january. who's going to eat all her favourite foods in my fridge? what do i do with this walking stick? her clothes? her medications? how could i have saved her? why didn't i realise she was sick and get her checked out earlier? why couldn't i have been a better daughter? why must the radio sing christmas songs about this being the most wonderful time of the year, why must people get excited for this one day when my mother died? then i had to help with the funeral, choosing her flowers, choosing what she was going to wear when she was cremated. she won't see me get married (assuming i do) or her first grandchild. it's... a lot to process.

i've had other life events happen after this. i broke up with my ex after 7 years. i was ousted from my job and got a new one. i've resumed driving lessons, even managed to get the same instructor my mother found me 10 years ago when i first tried driving and stopped. so yeah. busy.

also i have been working on a novel. my mother when she was still alive was my biggest fan, she would sit with me and we'd go through editing together. my novel has changed a lot since she was alive, as my writing has improved etc. i've recently been considering self-publishing it. which is daunting because i have the charisma of a potato but i believe in this novel and most importantly my mother believed in it, even in its early stages. but that costs money - i should be getting a pay rise from work soon, but i might open writing commissions again to help fund this as it's not cheap lmao.

soooo my fic writing has gone down because i'm usually exhausted, busy with work and irl stuff, and still recovering mentally from life events. i still need to write my last tofu week fic, which will either be a mastermind au or little sequel story to elusive/mermaid au.

i don't really talk about my personal life here, but even if no one reads this, it was therapeutic to write at least haha.

[day-mark]

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listen . i knowwww that people joking about the drama is the least of our damn worries and it is no where comparable to people who are actively spreading misinformation, but it's pissing me off because it makes the entire situation look like pointless drama when in reality the situation is a victim whos been pushed and prodded at for years finally snapping and hitting back just to be harassed and gaslit for it

and i appreciate that they dont get anymore involved in that but it makes the whole damn thing seem like petty drama when its actually a massive smear campaign with slander and harassment and filled to the brim with ableism and homophobia.

^ i know im being a toxic and emotional drolo. give me 5 business days to be normal again and wrangle in the rsd .

okay i have a lot of thoughts bottled up but another thought is about the video, seen some mixed thoughts about the video and tbh i originally was on the side of, maybe not release a video, but nopee ive fully switched now i think he should make one. the "behind the scenes" shit has gotten way out of hand and has been festering for years, i dont think ignoring it is going to help and will only make everything worse. i mean we're getting shit as recent as late last year with the coldi and fein.bergs friend thing, the rumor mill is horribly active and i really think that leaving it alone is going to make things worse. like we see it taken care of in bits and pieces but i really think the entire thing needs to be dismantled instead of slowly disproving things at a time as they come up.

Especially seeing how many ccs outside of his immediate sphere are weighing in against him almost certainly because of misinformation. ik that those ccs "dont really matter" because they never made content to begin with, but also being a cc means networking. not to mention that it just fucking sucks to have people believe blatant lies about you and think youre an awful person because of it???? like why let them continue thinking that if you could do something to disprove it?

like idkkkk call me an optimist but i trust that he knows what hes doing. with the truth video people were saying he shouldnt put it on main but him doing that worked out wonderfully for him + him holding off on saying anything publicly because of his legal teams advice really didnt do him any favors and him choosing to publish a video(which i think is what he originally wanted to do?) is what finally cleared up his name. idk im just not a youtube expert and dreams certainly proven that he knows what hes doing when it comes to navigating youtube so i'll trust him on whatever he ends up doing.

this feels a lot like december 2023 to me where, a controversy involving dream happens(gumball) -> dream does a stream and explains what happened (parkour stream) -> he gets clipped out of context + the situation explodes, practically everyone is against him (we all saw the tweets and threads that were coming out then 💀) -> dream releases a video -> people flip massively

and this controversy doesnt necessarily cover something as "serious" as grooming allegations, but he still has a lot of vague and not so vague bullshit hes being accused of (trump supporter, misogynist, "bad actions in the past", generally manipulative ig?? etc etc.)

dunno if dream will cover the rumor mill stuff necessarily but drolo for life, i trust his instincts