#idk. lately i think abt the fact that fanfiction is like the only way im able to process a lot of the messier parts of like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elytrafemme · 3 months

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ok i wrote this and drafted it and now im rewriting it, it just sounds fucking stupid but whatever anyway i need to stop like. moral freakouts over fanfiction. like i know why i do that it's a long story but it's kinda fucking asinine to be like, mare you read m rated fic abt rpf what is wrong w you. when its like. i think i know where my morals are because i live with myself and also like i do activelyy important things as a human. which isnts like a bragging point but more like... yeah man im not pulling up to the community potluck w folks i work with and people going like rate 1-10 how ethical your fic reading is we're like trying not to get people evicted like we dont really gaf. this is stupid and a bad example i dont really know how to explain what i mean

#neg #im kinda skirting the issue to explain the issue does this make sense #idk. lately i think abt the fact that fanfiction is like the only way im able to process a lot of the messier parts of like #s. trauma b/c like. obviously i process a lot by talking about it out loud but we don't really live in a society that loves that #snt that weird. like. i dont know. i have so many fucking thoughts abt being a victim of s trauma and where that leaves me #but sometimes that leaves me with only understanding sex thru fanfic and that being my only way to like. think it through #and it feels fucking embarrassing when youre in college and you try to be transparent about that but like #shit's hard right like. sorry im not getting field experiments in blowing or fucking im trying not to kill myself #<- that's actually bars im ngl #suicide joke #does this make sense. i feel insane when i talk about this always but thats such a me thing too

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