#idk. it's all i can hear when i hear shit like this being spewed

[aph-estonia]

i literally fucking hate the kinds of nonbinary people that say shit like "i'm not a woman, i'm a person." WOMEN ARE PEOPLE TOO, DIPSHIT!!!!!!!

[luveline]

Idk if you've ever written it, but like, hotch having to save bau!r after she's been kidnapped and tourtered and shit and when hotch finds them, babes is BLEEDING and shit and like barely coherent but spewing the absolute most random bullshit to hotch bc their panicking and whatnot?

thank you for requesting 💌 fem, 1.2k

Hotch has felt sick for three days. 

He stands with his ear pressed to his shoulder, as though holding the ear piece further in will bring news of you quicker. His hands are up and ready, torch and firearm held aloft, wrists crossed. 

Morgan has to go in first. Morgan, because if you’re dead, Hotch will take actions that will disbar him from being Unit Chief. He can’t keep his head, not if you’re gone. His anger will swallow him whole, and he will do things that can’t be forgiven. 

His stomach churns, waiting, waiting, waiting. The sky is dark as pitch and the house they surround doesn’t stir for a time. 

Then, low and long, carrying heavy through the air like a sledgehammer to his chest, is the reed of your screaming. It’s a strangled sound, sobbing to begin with, begging as it ends. Hotch hears your, “No, no, please! Please! Please.” Your third please fractures into a writhing scream as the pain begins again. 

Hotch’s arms twitch, threatening to fall to his sides. You’re alive, but… 

“Okay, we’re going in,” Morgan says through the ear piece, clearly having heard the same agony as Hotch. “Right now. Team two with Hotch. Everyone ready?” 

You must have screamed so loudly for it to get through walls. That’s all Hotch can think as he follows behind the second team, the sounds of cracking wood and tight footsteps ahead.

He’s not in the room, but he’s down the hall, he can hear the fuss as he hurries forward. “Drop the weapon!” Morgan shouts, evidence of his own anger in the sheer booming volume of his voice. “Drop the weapon now! Drop it!” 

A sharper crack as a bullet hits something and a thud. Hotch forces himself into the room just in time to see a large, short-haired figure fall to the floor. 

You’re covered in red and purple and brown, blood in long lines and gushing from deep wounds, a mess of it. He doesn’t even know where to start, your gutted, exhausted sobbing like a knife in his stomach, your limp hands hanging either side of the strange chair you’ve been strapped to. “Morgan,” you say, audibly relieved and yet your pain obvious and electric as you gasp for air, “Morgan, you have to get me out.” 

“I’ve got you,” Hotch says, holstering his gun in one breath and by your side the next.

A SWAT agent begins to saw through your binds with a serrated knife. Hotch’s hands stutter on the metal ends of the chair, wanting to touch you but terrified he’ll put a hand in a wound he hasn’t noticed. 

“Hotch,” you say, and your relief is worse now. Like you aren’t covered in your own blood, like his being there has fixed everything. 

“Y/N,” he says back, holding your elbow carefully, “it’s okay, it’s all right.” 

“You have to get the straps off of me. I need to go home-”

“I know, that’s what we’re doing. We’ll get them off of you–”

“–I have to go home, Hotch. You have to take me home.” 

He knows that medical are close behind them, they’re coming in just as soon as the building has been cleared, and there’s more than enough agents to have it done in the next thirty seconds. He has to assess you in that time. He can take care of you. 

The SWAT agent cuts your last bindings and you immediately attempt to get up, gasping in pain when four hands push you down at the same time. “Sit down,” Hotch says, “Y/N, just stay there, just for a second.”

“No, no, let me down, I need to go home, I haven’t looked after anything and– and the laundry’s piled up, and–”

“Honey,” he says firmly, “I’m gonna take you home. I am.” He meets your eyes, panic and tears and concerning bloodshot clouding your vision. “I’m gonna take you home, but please stay still. Just until the EMS is here. Just so they can look at you.” 

“I want to go home now,” you say, nearly shrieking, grasping at his arm. It’s so loud in the room with so many people speaking that he’s almost glad for it. 

Your fingers slide down his sleeve and leave streaks of gore in their wake. Your hands are caked in your own blood. Done with his bargaining, you push up into his arms and get onto one of your feet, an incredible amount of force behind you as you get your way. Your knees buckle immediately —Hotch scoops you up and dumps you back in your chair, even as you cry and cry into his chest. 

“No, I need to go home, I have so much to do, I can’t stay here,” you whine, pain eating at your voice, your fingers weakening where they’re pressed to his stomach. 

“I promise I’m going to take you home,” he says, ducking to speak directly into your ear. “Do you trust me? I promise I’m going to take you back home. Please, please, sweetheart, trust me.” 

You hiccup, tears thick running down your cheeks, and orange where they collect at your chin, chest heaving as you border incoherency. “I do trust you. I– I trust you, I just–”

He takes a showful breath. “Deep breath. I’ll bring you home soon.” 

“All my plants are dead,” you mumble, blood smudging over your eyelids as you rub them harshly. 

Hotch holds your wrists. 

— <3 

He keeps his promise (though you don’t remember him making it, not beyond what Morgan recounts). Hotch takes you home when you’re well enough to be there, and he, done with pretences, stays for a while as you recover. 

“What are you doing?” you ask, more tired than you’ve ever been in your life, peering at him through sticky lashes where you lay in bed. 

He’s odd to see without shoes. “Nothing,” he says, misting the leaves of your window plant with a frown. “Just hoping I can bring this one back to life.” 

You’re not sure why he’s so worried about the plants. It can’t be judgement; he knows exactly why they died. 

Well. Whatever professionalism was between you is well and truly gone. You wonder what it is you said to him that made him finally snap, but it was nice to wake up with his hand in yours, and it’s nicer still to see him each morning. When you clear your throat and look at him longingly, you know without asking that he’s going to find his way back to your side, and kiss your cheek, hands smelling of fresh soil. He does it all with ease. 

“You brought me back to life,” you joke weakly. 

“I had much more help than the plants.” He’s been panicky around you sometimes since he found you again, but not scared. He tilts your face gently one way and then another. “You look pretty, but very tired. Why don’t you sleep some more, hm?” 

“Can I… I mean, do you think you could…” 

He takes your arm as he settles in to comfort beside you. His fingers begin to trace a gentle line down your arm, meandering around cuts and bruises. 

You close your eyes, hesitant of the darkness. “Are you sure I’m okay?” you ask quietly. 

“You’re home, honey. Safe and sound.” 

[sapphiewritesstuff]

Namora, Shuri, and Namor NSFW headcanons

breaking my no nsfw rule cause i wanted to write for Namora,, love her so much 😍😍

This was originally supposed to be a post only for Namora but I decided to add Namor and Shuri cause their tags are getting dry as well.

Reblog for pt two!!

Warnings: NSFW, fem!reader, dom! Namora, sub! reader, stress fucking, use of mistress, switch! Shuri, switch! reader, uses of daddy and mommy, punishments (but like the fun sexy kind) overstimulation, slapping/spanking, switch! Namor, switch! reader, public/semi-public, breeding, spit, group sex, cock worship, degradation, not proofread, aftercare included in all!

Namora

-first of all, Namora is a commanding and dominate woman, that doesn't change in bed

-However, I can see her being into more vanilla, sweet sex than anything else

-She spends her days as Talokans most celebrated warrior, commanding her army so when she gets home she just wants to relax with you

-Loves rubbing your thighs, your curves, ect as she leaves kisses across your body and loves it when you do the same for her

-MASSAGES MASSAGES

-Likes being called ‘Mommy’ and ‘Mistress’, but loves being called by her name

-She loves hearing you moan out her name

-Suck on her tits, look up at her and whine out ‘Mommy…’ and she’ll do whatever you want

-She’s always very gentle with you except for whenever she’s stressed

-She never degrades you, but gets a little bit rougher with her love making

-She’ll throw you onto the bed, place a hand on your mouth to keep you quiet as she relives her stress using you

-An absolute goddess at aftercare

-She massages anything that might be sore, gets you food, and insists that you get some rest

-The best warrior and lover <33

Shuri

-She’s an eater ohhh my god

-She loves to spend hours between your legs, she gets pleasure from it

-She also loves to sit on your face

-Has a thing for quickes, she’s busy with her lab work and responsibilities but wants to be around you and cherish you like you deserve

-When you finally get a bunch of time alone, she can go for hours

-She loves overstimulating you

-Is very playful and competitive in bed, makes you fight for dominance

-“You’re so cute struggling like that, baby. Go on, keep it up.” She teases as she effortlessly pins you down

-AHHW SUDBD NEED HER SO BAD

-sorry bout that

-She loves being called daddy, Princess, anything that makes her feel powerful

-She’s a brat tamer, doesn’t take any shit from you

-Whenever you’re acting up she places a hand on your shoulder before commanding you to behave

-Now… her as a sub

-She’s a brat and a powerbottom

-loves punishments so she keeps on acting out to see you pissed off

-“Look at you, you’re all riled up. Does my behavior piss you off that much? Hm?”

-loves it when you slap or spank her to shut her up

-She can be a sweet service submissive sometimes, you just have to break her in enough

-She’s mommy and daddy <333

-Aftercare with her consists of cuddling, pillow talk, and a nap

-After the nap you two will head to her lab for some more time together, or you two will watch a movie

-The queen of Wakanda and taking care of her partner <33

Namor

-look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn’t like to be worshipped

-It inflates his ego so much to see you on your knees as your worship his cock and beg for him to pay attention to you

-thinks you look so pathetic like that and he loves it

-Like Shuri, he’s also a brat tamer, though he’s a little bit more harsh with his punishments

-won’t stop until you’re crying and apologies are spewing out of your mouth

-He has both a degrading and praise kink, he'll spit in your mouth and make you slut yourself out one moment and the call you his beautiful queen the next

-Also loves it when you degrade or praise him, make him kneel for you and beg

-Cup his cheek and call him a good boy and he'll melt into your touch

-If you were comfortable with it, he would love to have an orgy or have group sex one time

-idk if cucking is the right word for this? But he would have a thing for watching others fuck you or having you watch as he fucks others

-(if you were up to it, of course. He’s perfectly content with just you. After all, why did he make you queen if you didn’t fulfill his every need?)

-It makes him crazy possessive and he’s addicted to the feeling, you don’t mind because it means you get your brains fucked out by him afterwards

-likes to have sex on his throne, it’s up to you if there is an audience

-BREEDER. Cums inside you every time and only inside you just so he can knock you up

-He wants to have a family with you, he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman ever with the most fertile body

-He’s also extremely possessive as I said, so he would want to make everyone know your his and he’s yours by getting you pregnant

-Speaking of claiming, he gives you tons of hickeys and love bites and expects you to give him some too

-He is SO VOCAL!! Either moans like a little bitch or is grunting in your ear muttering praises

-100% serious during the act, only the occasional chuckles when he sees you squirm

-He likes it when you sit on his face

-He’s a freak (affectionate)

-Has to learn how to give better aftercare

-He does love you, and he does take care of you after lovemaking, but he’s rough which leaves you sore and sometimes leaves marks

-He’ll cuddle you, clean you up, and command his servants to get some food so he can hand feed you, but he doesn’t tend to any physical things he may have caused

-He isn’t used to how fragile surface dwellers are!! -He’ll notice sooner or later, and he feels horrible for not properly taking care of you from the beginning

-“My king it’s fine, you don’t hurt me!”

-“What husband am I if I don’t take care of you? It doesn’t matter, I will tend to you no matter what.”

-I love him

-Will massage every cramp, kiss every hickey or lovebite, and rub your ass after a harsh spanking

-He is able to take care of any other injuries, but very rarely does he actually injure you, you two have a safeword system for when you need to tell him to calm down

-He loves it when you pet his hair and pepper his face in kisses, he’ll fall asleep instantly

-He’s a god in bed.

[4thenookie]

Hi hi i heard you wanted some headcanons!! As always this is /lh, not meant to be taken that seriously, agree to disagree, yada yada all that good jazz lmao. Most of them are pretty crack-y in nature as well, they're just meant for fun lol. And with that, I'll compile my miles long headcanon list into (mostly) sorted by character for everyone's convenience lmao

- starting off strong with trans EJ! Idk why but do headcanons really need a reason? (I do know why) (i like to make my blorbos suffer 💖) (and also [diverges your neuros] [transes your genders] [homos your sexuals]). Also biromantic asexual king

- more EJ because he's THE blorbo. Boy is british asf and he knows BSL and is learning ASL. Touch averse as well. I feel like EJ would actually be a decent if not great cook.

- EJ purring like a cat when he's content/happy? I think yes! Also has a tail with one of those tail tuft thingies? Kinda like lions if you know what i mean. And the pointy ears (peak character design yaknow)

- moving on. I feel like Jeff knows how to play an instrument. Probably electric guitar. He also has like a bajillion band t-shirts. Jeff also likes to take long, hot showers but hates to comb his hair lol

- while Brian cooks food so bad/raw it could as well just still be alive, Toby is either a great cook or a disaster in the kitchen with seemingly no indicator for which one it's going to be on any given day. I'm talking managing to burn a pot of water one day and cooking a michelen star worthy meal the next.

- Kagekao is actually fluent in English and speaks and understands it perfectly, he just refuses to speak it. He takes great amusement in watching other people lose their minds over this

- speaking of languages, i feel like Toby would be bilingual if not multilingual. He speaks English and German, maybe even Spanish if we're going the multilingual route

- also. Oh my god. The generational difference between BEN "memelord who quotes vines like there's no tomorrow" Drowned and Slenderman is just. I cant stop laughing thinking about it. Any given conversation between these two is just a gamble on who is going to lose it first

- BRVR is kinds Lost Silver's pet but also not really? Like he just kinda goes wherever but Lost Silver mainly takes care of him

- LJ he/it truther

- Me and a friend came up with this which probably explains why it is cracky as fuck but hear me out. Jeff as a makeup artist. He made Slender look like Beyonce once. No one knows how he did it and how he's not dead (the answer, as my friend said, is "no one can hate Beyonce")

- i feel like Toby, BEN, and Jeff would be like. The chaos trio. God knows what will happen when you put the three of then alone in a room together

- i also feel like Brian sunburns really easily.

- Tim is one of those dads that wants to leave in the middle of the night for road trips / holidays to avoid the traffic jams

Hope this makes even a bit of sense and i hope you enjoyed whatever my brain spewed at me lol if u ever wanna share more headcanons or talk about blorbos or share character slander (looking at Brian and LJ (affectionate)) feel free to dm me!! (I dont mind i promise lol /lh)

hi!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg these are so so so real thank you for sharing them with me!!!! ill go into some more detail under the cut :)

to be honest, i can kinda see trans ej being real now that you mention it, ill definitely think about that a lot!! and i also hc him as asexual!!!! :)

im british and i claim ej as one of us lmaooo

i absolutely agree w the purring thing!!! i think ej does a lot of cat things idk :)))) i love all of your ej headcanons!!!

tbh i can see jeff either playing electric guitar like you said or maybe drums?? just any instrument he can go ham on when hes mad lmao

in my hc he has the worst case of chronic greasy hair and he doesnt want to do anything about it

cooking hcs are so real brian can NOT cook!!!!!!! toby will either serve you some 5 star gourmet shit or some rotten takeout he found during a dumpster dive

omg omg omg I hardly see anybody talk about kagekao!!!!!! i totally agree he would do that lmaooo

idk if its canon or not but i read somewhere that tobys German so i totally agree that hed be bilingual!!!

oh my god BEN whos native language is memes meets grandpa slendy that would be so funny

in 4 words youve converted me into a fellow he/it LJ truther!!!! could we consider he/it ej too? maybe??

ik you said it was a cracky hc but i can actually kinda see jeff being good at makeup??? like one of those things where he tries it once and it's the most drop dead gorgeous makeup look you've EVER seen and everyones like how did you do that

toby BEN and jeff are an absolute riot when rheyre together lmao

omg i never thought about it but brian sunburning super easy is so real!! and in summer he always wears sunglasses so he has like an unburnt patch on his face where his sunglasses were yk??

OMG YES LMAOOOOO "guys get up our flights in 10 hours WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he would 100% have a checklist or 3

thank you so much for sharing these with me!! i hope you dont mind me adding my own thoughts lol but theyre so much fun to think about!!!! if you ever wanna slander lj and brian with someone feel free to dm me lmao!!!!!! take care <33333

[3416]

I know it's prob pretty frustrating with the mitch narratives ppl have been spewing recently but the amazon doc is pretty harmless imo it reads to me as centering willys fire and desire to win a lot more than any negative thing about Mitch/Auston and ppl can say what they want (😭as they do) but it's nice to finally have willy shed the narrative of "not caring" and being "soft" so it's kinda weird to me how often you downplay his journey and his role for the team. not coming after you, it's just that he's also a leaf superstar that frankly got the shit end of the stick for almost his whole tenure here - more than Mitch!and he's finally come out the other side (and I wish neither of them did! but :// Toronto)

i don't personally find willy that compelling as a personality and i think his fans have to make up a lot of stuff just to try to shoehorn him into any interesting dynamics and narratives on the team (if one more person says he has daddy issues.. lolol). he can be his giggly harmless self overall, but i'm tired of hearing about how his range is in the same sentence with mitch and auston bc it's not from a hockey perspective, lol. you can love him best and evaluate him however you want, but i think he was just given a contract that is a slight overpayment and i'm sitting here having to hear abt how mitch marner is being overpaid on his current contract now knowing he's gonna be asking for prob over a million more than willy rightfully so like give me a break. i get that the discourse doesn't get to everyone, so good for you i guess, but seeing ppl gas him up to put mitch down naturally sours stuff for me, lol, and i'm tired of him being talked abt as some clutch savior when really.. last playoffs was inadvertently a microcosm of his play in general. "clutch" maybe but inconsistent (by no fault of his own in the playoffs w the migraines obv) which results in it being pointless in the end. i think some people have higher ceilings than others and all of them are doing what they can do most nights. judging effort level isn't my job, so it is what it is. i don't think he's soft/uncaring/lazy, but i find some things about his play and the way ppl constantly gas it up frustrating for sure.

i'm not even saying i think willy's part of the doc is filled with any storylines making any crazy statements against my guys or whatever. from what i've seen, it's just pretty surface fluff we already know about him. the stuff on the bench is nothing and didn't change my opinion about him, lol, but this is my blog and i'm venting my frustration about the way ppl were treating mitch bc of that moment as some character reflection. i haven't been a maple leaf fan since all these guys were drafted... but in the last few years, willy def has not been treated worse than mitch, so lol. sorry i can't retroactively care about the insults hurled at younger nylander (or critique of his game some of which was earned) lol, but i do think there are flaws to willy's game that are more annoying than the guys i chose as faves. i'm not some arbiter of maple leafs history, and i'm allowed to genuinely believe he's not as important as other people. you'll live with your opinions and version too. i'm sure i'm not changing your mind and i'm sorry it's not kumbaya over here atm. it will go back to normal after mitch extends and the heat's off probably, lol, idk.

[olderthannetfic]

People don't even attempt to be lowkey about being racist against Asians at all. I mean, I'm fucking impressed, imagine legit standing there claiming you're anti racism, while you spew a bunch of racist rhetoric that would make Anti-Asian propaganda from the World Wars proud, and still think you're a good guy. Like, Idk, slowclap I guess? Some people have legit so much shit in their brain, that when they talk shit about an entire subsection of the human race, and call them gross shit, and wish horrible shit on them, from violence to rape, and death, these people don't understand how that's gross and racist? REALLY? Who the fuck shit in your brain to make you think that's ok? You'll stand there, and put yourself on a moral high ground, because you think you "hate the right race" for the "right reasons" so being a racist swine is suddenly ok? Ok then... I think the most ironic thing is, that I've seen some of these racist-trashbags post and talk about shit like "If I was born in a racist era, I'd stand against racism, and fight for people's rights." Bull to the shit, you'd be the first one to call the police on the "gross people" across the street, and have the police arrest them and put them in jail/camps for doing something you don't like, or some imagined slight against you. I mean, seriously it's not the first time I've seen random Asian artists be reported on socmeds, or even have them be reported to the police or that one hotline to help fight against ACTUAL FUCKING CP! Or even swatting. Or hear about how these artists get threats, gore and ACTUAL CP SENT TO THEM! But I guess as long as they can delude themselves into being the good guys, there's no helping them.

--

[narwhalandchill]

Hello! I saw you mention Childe in labyrinth warriors (hope that’s the right name) when talking about the 4.6 appearance, can I ask you about your thoughts on him there? I didn’t get to play that event- so what I know about it is spotty at best. Just that it’s in Inazuma, had Xinyan I think? And that Childe was there. And the little paper dude. I’m genuinely curious about what insights you gained from the event into his character- and I’d love to hear you talk about Childe more.

(can you believe. when i say. now that im finishing this up. that it got out of hand anon??? uhhhhhhhhhhhh. i mean. at this point this should be expected)

hi!!!! sorry this took a bit, ive been somewhat sick all week and also just now absorbed by the nuzlocke im doing but Anyway. am here now thank you sm for the ask and enabling childe thoughts!!!!!

. readmore bc this Actually got just. unbearably long otherwise JIWDJDWJKDJKWWJDK 😭😭😭😭

so the outline is basically as u said, but like. to summarize it w some particular details mentioned since they Do matter (sorry it got giga fucking long bc i think the full context is helpful for discussing childes parts too lmao). but here goes:

so a mysterious domain has appeared out of thin air on narukami island with monsters spewing out from within into the countryside. now this is an Issue (TM) bc timeline-wise this is still v much the immediate aftermath of the inazuma AQ and the civil war - the nation & esp the tenryo commission rly isnt in ideal shape resource and manpower wise to deal w another crisis like this and it has sara rightfully tense after the initial waves of the monsters were finally forced back. she kinda cant afford to send her men to scout inside the domain (it also kinda. opens and closes and reopens at random which is another issue for potential scouts) but if nothing is done to stop the monsters she must commit to a full on assault to destroy the domain to remove the threat & shes more or less on a timer with that. making it quite the precarious situation for her politically too and not just security wise. (keep this in mind)

how we end up being asked to investigate the place has to do w the. im ngl p convoluted xinyan b plot basically she was invited to a music festival as a performer but it was cancelled so now she lacks the travel permits she needs and getting new ones is Not fast without some inside help. we agree to look for sara so she could argue xinyans case, run into her dilemma w the domain and she agrees to expedit the process if we investigate the place in her forces' stead. (xinyan the civilian tags along for some reason too)

first time u go in, u find the paper dude (kind of an enchanted paper familiar of sorts) aka shiki taishou outside who has lost his memory yet is undoubtedly connected to the domain which is obviously a bit suspicious given the whole. monster spewing into the neighborhood deal. but idk she passes xinyans music vibe check so she argues we should help him recover his memories and in turn discover the truth of the domain along the way.

once we get inside the domain we obviously run into mr. worldwide himself including but not limited to a closeup of his crotch during his introduction for some reason. yeah its been nearly 3 years these things you cant unsee. that and the sending us sausage in his bday mail. like bruh

now childes (as he eventually divulges) in inazuma to look for traces of scara who ran off w the gnosis and happened to stumble into this strange domain with weird vibes. he thought it might be something relevant and waltzed in, proceeded to get locked inside (as the domain shifted) and beat the shit out of all the monsters there all the while having the time of his life bc hes simply built different. bc turns out the place is basically just a full-on sparring simulator for warriors that seems to be running by itself w no one overseeing it ever since the domain resurfaced cue the "pratice targets" aka monsters running wild

dont wanna recap the entire thing in detail but basically. firstly childe kinda improvs another new identity as an adventurer noticing xinyans liyuen attire bc Osial Incident and picking up the awkward energy we have at the realization of. this might be messy if we tell her. and xinyan buys it and nicknames him "red" w/e. so thats why the harbinger thing doesnt become a bigger conflict

he then informs us that all the monsters within the domain turn into torn paper charms when destroyed and that there are "replicas" of shiki taishou strewn about the domain that should restore his power and hopefully memories over time.

so we end up going thru the place helping shiki taishou gather his power and uncover the nature of the place. he kind of has an identity crisis happening bc all the monsters the place is generating seem to imply he was created for some nefarious purpose as a weapon of some sorts (childe says some Very Interesting Things in response as an attempt at pep talk. will get to it).

but TLDR what we do discover is actually that the shikigami/paper magic and the domains functions were basically a system invented after the domains creator harunosuke studied similar adeptal techniques in liyue in order to create the shikigami as these battle partners for samurai fighting against monsters from the cataclysm. these paper dolls could then record and replicate the monsters it and its partner fought in order to train others inside the domain so that inazumas protectors would always be ready to face such a threat if it ever came to be. shiki taishou was created as the "overseer" of this domain and its functions as a training facicility. by regaining his memories and finding clarity in his purpose shiki taishou gains control over the place again and is able to shut down its rogue functions so that it no longer poses a threat. he then promises to improve upon its workings by taking it to dormancy again. sara is relieved that the crisis could be averted without costing her manpower or further resources she doesnt have. yippee

So. yeah that took way too long mb jdwhjwdjdwadwaj but. Childe.

so there are a particular standouts in here in my opinion.

for one that is less like. a characterization aspect but more of a "gotcha" confirmation thats very nice to have is that he explicitly confirms that wherever in the abyss he spent those 3 months at 14, it DID involve places tied to the irminsul and its roots.

fissures between great tree roots u say?????? Inch resting ajax. tell me more abt the trees king.

also this monologue is literally so fucking sexy in general i love his single-minded pursuit of something as like. quintessentially simple as just. Improvement. but bc he has literally 0 fucking chill in his boundless hunger for that one singular ambition it alone is enough to disrupt the gravity of the world around him....... (but we will get to that)

Anyway. another Very good fucking moment from him character-wise is during the 2nd act. where weve spoken w sara about the tense situation after the 1st day of investigation ended w all of us minus childe (who got "trapped" inside the same way a child gets "trapped" inside a free-for-all candy store with all amenities included. he had a blast) getting thrown out and the domain rearranging itself again. and like we go back in once the entrance opens and are even more eager and restless to start figuring things out bc again. sara is on a timer.

and then .

guys im pretty sure theres a twitch emote for this???? something starting with C and ending with AUGHT?

LMAOOOOOO

he reads the shit out of us trying to all "subtly" push for the investigation to proceed so the crisis we are actually tasked to investigate can be solved. like this is literally just Actual 5d chess situational awareness and picking up cues from people around him and honing onto exactly whats stirring up in the undercurrent from childe. basically. he just lays onto us like. ah right. this is probably a big problem for that tenryo commission right? such a problem that theyd even ask an outsider to cover their duties... when thatd never happen during regular times right? a conundrum that could get even more problematic if theres a harbinger publicly around... right? oh my bad my bad haha just thinking out loud bestie lets get back to investigating shall we? hahaha

he is such a smart fucking Bastard oh my godddddd bro is out there smelling the traces of societal unrest and any and all weaknesses in a given governing structure like hes a shark tasting like 0,00000001% blood in the water . professional & supernaturally efficient problem causer everyone. this is what he was hired for . i love him

like. hes SMART guys. and hoyo Knows how to work his intelligence into the writing too its soooo scrumptious man .

and like bro hes being such a fucking menace in here too bc. he couldve kept this observation to himself too. but nooooo he just had to shove it in ur face that we are Not being as slick w keeping him in the dark as we would like to think💀💀 smug ass.

it makes me think abt how many things he actually Notices among the harbingers and all their power plays and schemes among one another but that childe simply keeps to himself bc he has nothing to gain from disproving the assumption of himself as this. gullible and simple-minded loyal warrior harbinger and the person-shaped time bomb we toss at wherever the flames of discord need some help sparking alight. after all, we saw this in arles quest too - how not only did he use our pathetic distraction attempts as an opportunity to fish relevant information on both arlecchino and pulcinella for himself (which i already commented on) but also. the fact that he Very clearly noticed our attempt at distracting her and intentionally helped us out without even knowing anything abt the matter at hand. to the point where even arle makes that Highly pointed comment about it and all but spells out that childe was assisting us on purpose the entire time.

like he is just. incredibly perceptive and so fucking intelligent like especially back in 2.2 where even Bigger of a portion of the fandom (if thats even possible) than today just thought of him as this. stupid fucking baby infant meow meow idiot brainwashed by the tsaritsa and completely owned by zhongli and signora XDDDDDD . seeing this unfold made me so fucking happy abt the way like. yeah HOYO knows what his character is all abt. the fandom can ruin him all the want but the games story isnt going to bend to their will.

Speaking of Which.

The weapon thing.

so as ive already alluded to prior . the entirety of labyrinth warriors despite it highlighting childes intelligence, attitude, priorities and ambitions in a way thats like. genuinely so fucking good and comes off as natural with no forced sounding exposition or backstory dump . mostly got a fan reception more in the way of . waa waa my baby boy is depressed with sigma PTSD 3.0 with DLC because calling yourself a weapon is self dehumanization and it signals he is suicidal and has no self worth 🥺🥺🥺🥺 he got TRAPPED in the EVIL DOMAIN consisting EXCLUSIVELY of all his favorite activities nonstop he must be feeling so scared i need to hug him my babygirl!!!!!!!!!11!1!1

when its like. ah yes. i have never heard of a motif ever before.

bc like as much as i do genuinely consider it something that more or less can be taken at face value as an Aspect of who childe is (not necessarily the whole of it, just another mask true to a part of his self) . it should still be acknowledge that part of the reason why his dialogue (and the event in general) fixates on the notion of being a "weapon" has to do with shiki taishous character arc.

because thats what he is. and is trying to discover what kind of purpose a discarded (bc harunosuke left the domain abandoned at the end) weapon and tool like himself can even have anymore. and childes lines taking that repeated emphasis of. whats so bad about being a WeaponTM (& expanding on what that means for Him) specifically . are as much about himself as they are just an attempt to communicate his worldview to shiki taishou as a way of pushing him towards solving this identity crisis he has . that paper boy literally Needs to solve in order for the domain to stop malfunctioning.

and like. okay even if we just look at it w/o paper boy. so say childe considers himself a weapon . but what does that mean to him?

[incoming top 5 dialogue lines that genuinely fucking challenge my sexuality this is so fucking hot. no one talk to me]

"Only those that wish for an end will find one."????????

"My limits vanish behind the horizon with every step I take"??????

FUCK OFF OH MY GODDDD

like people think of childe as this fatalistic if not actively suicidal then at least like passively reckless and uncaring towards his own wellbeing blood knight w low self esteem barreling towards his death and here he is. using his own fucking words. saying that the mere CONCEPT of an END. is not in his fucking VOCABULARY. because it does not serve his ambition to let such confusions ever obstruct his sights.

people think his purpose and ambition is soooo tied to his family tied to the tsaritsa that if those are ever taken away he will just freefall into the depths of directionless confusion and depression and whatever. when.

Here he is. giving a fucking pep talk to a DISCARDED WEAPON THAT HAS LOST HIS PURPOSE. EXCEPT HE KINDA JUST SAYS ITS A SKILL ISSUE TO EVEN NEED TO CONSIDER AN END TO YOUR PATH (hes silly like that). AS AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF NATURE. A WEAPON THAT CUTS ANYTHING.

oh hey thats funny now where have i heard that before. bonjour my baguettes any fontainian cults or god kings out there interested in the world and fate altering power of unstoppable weapons that can cut into anything even ego and destiny itself and whatever that may mean?????? O____o

i swear to fucking god if the entire time this entire weapon allegory from labyrinth warriors was all about all cleverly n loosely associating him with themes relating to descenders and wills that rival the world all the way back in 2.2. and yet on release all people wanted was to weep for how sad it was he thought himself a weapon. man why is it always like this . i weep for THAT.

like. idk i dont have anything poetic to say abt it other than childes drive as an individual is just fucking breathtaking to me??? its literally Scary how utterly consumed he is by that ambition yet at the same theres this . crystalline clarity he has towards viewing it and himself ?? this weird ass self awareness that coexists with the all-consuming pursuit and ambition of it all??? this isnt sad this is both ridiculously attractive AND batshit insane like dudeeee . and like . the way he talks about it too like this is just a matter of fact everyday thing to him 💀💀 bc thats his abyss shrimp color vision this is how he rolls . its nothing grandiose its just how he is . this is normal to him its unbearable i hate him

like somewhat unrelated here (sorry) but sometimes i see ppl go against the possibility of childe having sth to do w the 3rd descender (which like yes is a crack theory for now and its not sth i can fully align myself with either as of rn Due To Those Thematic Clashes it just lives rent free Because of how conflictingly insane it is while also having some Strangely compelling evidence in its favor) or even just. Any higher predestined significance assigned to him in the grand scheme of things with the sole argument of like . but then everything about Him is worthless bc it wasnt His ambition and His drive to overthrow the world he wasnt Just A Guy (and. sigh. as the op. of that ancient thing. stop taking that old ass hastily typed post too far and too literally thx. its abt the vibe the attitude the subversion. having a destined purpose if the story handles it well does not conflict w being the quintessential just a guy thanks xx). he was just special all along so it all means Nothing and its like. dude. he told a recently-amnesiac paper boy having an identity crisis that its a fucking skill issue to ever falter in the face of some greater purpose haunting in your past or defining your origins. that a True weapon cuts himself free of even that without even a sliver of hesitation . ppl think that if indeed some soul of the 3rd descender is resurrected in story and idk tries taking over his body with past lives and memories or whatever. you think he isnt ripping the essence and existence of that poor fucking dude apart and devouring him alive into the crushing depths of the black hole of an unquechable ambition that beats a steady pulse at His core just to reclaim HIS place as the ultimate weapon to cut through everything???????

aww thats so cute. you guys think even the hypothetical of theories akin to these being legit on some level is automatically going to ruin his arc and character bc hes gonna be taking it lying down!!!!! you think hes going to look at a Grand destiny Assigned to him by someone Outside and Above and not spit in its face!!!

just like his narwhal looked at the destined cosmic end of All life to fall to ruin and immediately devoted its entire existence to denying the universe that very outcome isnt that curious why are they the sam---------------SORRY SORRY where was i at

like. i see how it is for yall. well. myself on the other hand. i have some fucking faith in him lmao

partially . indeed Because. i read the goddamn text of labyrinth warriors. where they let him Talk about what these things mean to him. and how he Truly isnt about to stop. Ever. hes not looking for an end and if presented with one he sure isnt about to respect it. hes just. built different its absolutely amazing

and yeah my bad i got. sidetracked very badly there. you asked me abt labyrinth warriors but bc its childe this is just what tends to happen like my brain fucking spirals. but like . no im not saying that the weapon theme being such a prevalent aspect in the story is like 100% a descender and sword of narzissenkreuz thematic parallel and intentional reference i just think its Quite interesting in hindsight . that This is the angle they drilled in on .

anyway hopefully this at least had Something to illustrate abt why i love labyrinth warriors for how it serves to establish how much of a madman childe ajax tartaglia my beloved truly is . and how to hoyo his outlook towards the world has very much been one of endless limitless hunger and never-sated ambition . and not whatever fanon wants to cook up. childes greatest enemy has always been stagnation and he has always looked towards the Future. of surpassing each and every limit and boundary on his path . like thats what makes him who he is.

also. last lil thing aka. Most Ignored Canon Line Spoken By This Man

which is a shame bc. its so fucking interesting??? i mean. i get that ppl dont know what to make of it bc everyones so fixated on picturing childe as this loyal puppy tsaritsa fanboy who couldnt even deign to imagine discarding allegiances to anyone yet here he is. saying exactly that.

like ive seen ppl be like oh hes trying to Convince himself of this!!!! hes putting up an act!!!!! and its like? no? i dont think this contradicts anything about his character. people just find it uncomfortable because it implies that the things he listed there are not something of any Inherent value to him. which adds up perfectly fine to me but what do i know.

like the way i have always seen this is that it really isnt. oh childe says he isnt actually a loyal person When it matters to him personally and isnt actually invested in fulfilling his duty (as of Right Now, mind you) which would yes seemingly contradict a lot of other things. but really its just that those concepts alone are void to him. you cant stop him from pursuing his ambition by saying its evil. if the tsaritsa ever truly loses his respect and leaves him completely disillusioned in the archon that once was a fellow honorable warrior in his eyes, the concept of "allegiance" will not be able to dissuade him from turning that burning ambition of toppling the heavens towards her throne too. personal respect maybe. a sense of honor. maybe even disdain so extreme that even investing that time into her now is a waste? sure. but like. you get what im trying at? he is way more ambivalent about these things than most people really Want him to be. bc they dont fulfill the hunger that burns at his core.

and it adds up. bc like. his ambition his drive towards battle and bettering himself and becoming a weapon completely unstoppable and irreplaceable that can conquer the world . is his north star. its the singularity that all else about him orbits around. of course silly little concepts like right and wrong will be secondary to that. we just really havent seen a moment where his ambition is in true conflict with the bonds and oaths he has sworn in his current life. but i have a feeling that if and when we do. this line will make a lot more sense lmao

anyway uhhhhhhh

yeah i liked labyrinth warriors!!! very underacknowledged and misrepresented event that had a ton of fun stuff abt childe. i am super normal about these hip and enjoyable aspects of his character as they are explored within this event as the length and contents of this post imply!!!!

omg anon i. really fucking hope u got at least Something u were looking for out of all this KWJKJKDWWJKDWJKDJKWDK i swearrr i just cannot. stop myself from completely fucking losing it on the asks of every innocent anon (and like non anon too why not) approaching my ask box 😭😭

but thank you again for sending this in!!!!!! have a nice day!!!! im very normal thanks for asking!!!!!

[vaguelyparker]

Movie Star

Starker

Rating: Explicit

Fair warning I haven’t written starker since pre no way home and I’ve never written anything even smut adjacent so I can’t vouch for the quality of this I just saw @monster-cock69 intern Peter prompt and basically forgot I was human until I finished 🤷‍♀️

Also Petey is still Spider-Man in this because overstimulation is fun 🫶 lmk if I should add any warnings again this is my smut debut so idk about any specific warnings that might be appreciated

—

Peter doesn’t flinch when the hand snakes around his waist. Warm and all encompassing and too low to be remotely professional. He’d recognize the gait anywhere. It’s almost pathetic- he’s only known the man for weeks and he can pick him from a crowd. But he’s Tony Stark. Peter has spent years thinking about the man. About his smell, his muscles, his everything. It’s hardly a surprise that in the few times they’ve interacted Peter can tell from the sound of creaking Italian leather and heavy rubber soles exactly who’s been trailing behind him for the last few corridors.

It’s just the two of them now. Peter can just barely hear the sounds of the bustling offices surrounding them over Stark industries sound proofing. But there hasn’t been a soul in at least the corridors and Peters sure Tony had a part in that if his tightening grip means anything. He lets the man take the lead- no longer walking aimlessly- aware but unable to act. Peter is slightly taller than the man, but hunched in on himself and leaning into the too low touch it’s barely noticeable.

Before long Peters being shepherded into a storage closet and shoved against the metal door. Tony’s lips are at Peters neck in an instant. Peter melts into the door a desperate pant leaving glistening lips as Tony’s beard scratches at the junction of neck and shoulder. Tony is a quick study- he’s learned the ins and outs of Peter in the few sessions they’ve spent together?

“There’s no cameras right?” Peter asks voice breaking mid sentence. Even though he’s sure he’s been splayed on a hundred different cameras already- the thought makes him squirm. Makes him think of Aunt Mays disappointment if, if, if.

Tony laughs into his neck, and ignores the question while he continues on- mapping every inch of Peters bared throat with teeth and lips and tongue and heat.

“Sweet heart this is Stark tower,” Tony whispers harshly into his ear in a perverse act of privacy they both know is unnecessary. As if he’s given a single shit about Peters modesty since the moment he saw chocolate eyes and indecent fucking lips chewing at the bottom of a pen. “There’s not an inch of this place where I don’t have eyes and ears.”

With that the man turns Peter- and fists at loose curls pulling his head up from where he’s been smushed against the cold metal door. He’s met with the sight of smooth wall- no tiny red lights, no obvious protrusions but Tony is a genius after all and Peter is left blinking away tears of mortification.

“So why don’t you smile for the camera?” Tony’s voice is louder and more demanding- punctuated with the sound of skin and fabric as his slacks and boxers are shoved down in a single move. Everything is too much. Every sound echoing in Peters ears right down to the beat of Tony’s pulse which picks up at the sight of him.

The man’s chuckles reverberate throughout the room. A shiver runs down Peters spine and wines into the door, now warm from the red of his cheeks.

The plug in his ass is pulled out and tossed aside in one fell swoop. Replaced with something- someone else in an instant as Tony drives into him like a starving man.

“Good boy, my good boy. God you look so good like this,” Filth keeps spewing from Tony’s lips as the man sets a punishing pace. One hand gripping bruisingly at his hip and Peters addled brain hates that the proof of this all will be gone come morning. The other still tangled around soft curls forcing Peter to stare directly at the camera even as he’s sobbing and coming undone. “Tell the camera how much you love it. How much you love being my perfect boy, my favorite fucking intern.”

“I love it Mr. Stark. I love being your good boy.” The words come out in barely discernible gasps. Peters sobbing openly at the point. Overstimulated and wanting no needing more.

Tony groans at the title shoving into Peters heat faster and harder.

“You gonna be my little movie star Petey? God cry just like that for the camera so I can watch this any time I think about this ass, these fucking lips,” The hand in his hair releases and shoves into Peters mouth. “So I can fall asleep listening to all these pretty little sounds.”

Tony pulls his fingers from Peters mouth rubbing them on the boys button up before gripping his unattended hip. Trusting without purchase. “You fucking tease. That’s what you want isn’t it baby? Can’t handle just being my favorite intern gotta be my favorite porn star too. Can’t handle me thinking about anything else. You’ve fucking ruined me.”

“Yes, yes, yes, please, please- just me, just me. I want,” Peter mumbles the same words, stumbling over them, coherency lost on him as his orgasm takes hold. “I want to be your favorite porn star.”

“Fuck.” Tony whispers leaning his head on the junction between Peters neck and shoulder blades. The combination of the fucked out admission and the way Peter was tightening around him as he orgasmed sending him over his release.

[ashersbraincell]

Because I’m so normal about R.I.Producer’s music

I have, despite not necessarily ALL of the lyrics fitting them, assigned this song a “Wonderland Gidget and Orlam antagonise Iggy and Genzou respectively with their god complex” interpretation :3

Below the cut is some specific thoughts on certain lyrics :

“Here goes an imposter a stain on this world

whining in a fit until their story's been heard”- gives me the tree commenting on both Gidget and Orlam. Particularly how they’re a “stain” on the original innocence etc etc

“with nothing nice to say

I won't be saying anything at all”-like to imagine this as Orlam putting himself above Genzou, like commenting on how Genzou just sort of lets his mouth run being mean and shit, and showing how he’s “above” that and won’t do the same, despite the subtext of such a saying being that you DO have something “not nice” to say/don’t have anything nice to say which both obviously paint an obvious picture. In short? Passive agressive

“but how do you think I feel?

they're but the dirt beneath my heel

I gaze upon the many from my mighty throne”-just Orlam’s god complex with being king and all

“yes, look at me in fear

I'd like for you to disappear”-obviously Orlam to Genzou

“no, I shouldn't have to say I'm sick of your nerve and your gall

I'd grab the fire in your eye and I'd drown it 'til it's gone”-this just reminds me of Arc 1 Orlam literally boiling Genzou alive

“oh, everyone around me knows I'm the best of them all

the level I'm on above and beyond your kind and assuming, I tried to play nice”-Originally both Gidget and Orlam, but then with the transition in the word “kind” it transitions to Gidget, because well yk, they were less upfront and obnoxious about their god complex at first, and generally appeared kind

“but when I hear the hubris that spews from your mouth

that's not something you should be bragging about” - I’m sorry but this just GIVES Orlam to Genzou idk what to tell you

“oh, now here we go again

acting like we're the best of friends

you cry: "I wish that I could be like that someday!"

blame all belongs to you

you can't conceive of something new

it's sad, I'll never tell you what I wanna say

no, I'll never let them know I've had it with 'give it your all'” OMFG ITS LITERALLY GIDGET LIKE. At first I’m specifically thinking of that scene when Iggy out of jealousy was the snapping point in Gidget falling head first into conformity to gender roles. The one crying “I wish I could be like that some day” is Gidget post this. And then “you can’t conceive of something new” is a last ditch snap at both Iggy AND their mom at being unable to accept their gender identity, before giving up in the last line, resigning to giving it their all in trying to impress and appease what would be a stereotypically successful “female” life

“so give me all of your applause, 'cause as you may recall

the level I'm on above and beyond your kind

anticlimatic the scene of the crime

no one can blame me for taking what's mine

I showed them my world and yet still I'm defied

now how could one think that behavior is right?”-Just Wonderland Gidget, I don’t think I really have to explain

[zarient]

7 summers

cassian x fem!reader ,, she/her prns

part 2 soon

warnings: angst, kinda modern au cs hear me out bat boys as baseball players??? no mating bonds we love like men!! let's imagine the Illyrians can morph cs can you imagine playing baseball with heavy ass wings? exactly.

this is like sooo rushed lmfaoo just bare with me i've yet to write anything really angsty so srry if its bad idk but i'll take criticism

everyones POV i guess

based off this songgg. i literally love morgan wallen so much

Three centuries, three centuries– that's a long time to be with someone. You learn and study each other, get used to each other and embrace everything the other has to offer. You experience with each other and grow together as one. Connecting deeper than most.

"I just need space." His voice is so far, so empty and nonchalant, how long had he been planning this? you think.

"Space? Space for what?" You're confused. The pit in your stomach growing, knowing what's coming.

"For myself Y/n I don't know, why else would I need space." He cracks a bit frantically shrugging, his tone sarcastic.

"Oh so what, you're overwhelmed now!?, after being in a relationship for three centuries!?" You scoff, voice raising out of frustration.

"Please don't make this harder for me Y/n."

"Harder!? For you!? What the actual fuck." you sigh exasperated and blinking away tears. "Fuck you Cassian, actually. You can get the fuck out now." You point to the door, accepting this fate.

With a long sigh and a hard rub at his face he nods with a quiet yup and turns to leave.

━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━

He tried to forget.

Pushed his muscles past their limits to forget. Let his body ache for days after to forget that night.

He stayed after you told him to leave, was outside your door for hours listening to your sobs. Regretting. He thought what he was doing was right for him, for you.

Baseball had been his priority and you knew that and you loved him for being so passionate about it. No matter what happened with the sport you stayed beside him, you loved him through his sour attitudes after a losing game, you loved him when he had to leave too soon for meetings.

You loved him.

And he let that go because he thought you'd leave him first for what he had coming up, A stupid, childish mistake he regrets everyday.

And when your sobs quieted and turned into soft snores he decided to go to the house of wind. He did say he needed space after all and with some inner circle members being at the townhouse he couldn't think like he needed too.

━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━

In between being broken and healing he met Nesta. Older sister to Feyre and almost instantly he fell for her. She felt different and he liked that.

He didn't know what it was about her that he was so attracted too but he invited the feeling and accepted it.

Until year three.

When he saw you again. Walking into Rita's wearing the most extravagant revealing dress he had ever seen on you. Practically drooling, he dragged his family closer to the restaurant, considering this his second chance he was ready to talk to you, to explain his feelings and why things happened the way they did.

You had just wanted a chill night out with your friends, getting drunk and dancing all over each other. Not having a chat with your ex of three years over the reasoning of your break up. You got the drunk part down but the dancing not so much. "Cassian- Cassian listen-" mans was a sad drunk today and didn't want to listen to you for shit. He was focused on spewing his heart out when you could barely see out your left ear and hear out your eyes.

So you grab his face in both hands and kiss him. It's sloppy but it's enough to shut him up. "Oh- oh god I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking-" He pulls back and examines your face for a moment before he slams his lips against yours. "It's okay Y/n you have no idea how long i've wanted to have this again."

the slight soberness from the emotions you both were feeling was enough for him to realize his feelings for Nesta were nothing compared to his love for you. And thats what it had been. He loved you and was infatuated with her. Convinced himself it was a crush to get over you.

In the distance his family watched, shocked. Nesta who had to deal with Cassians eyes on her for a year grabbed her drink and shot it back like it was water "woo!" she smiles and thanks the mother for setting her free.

[psychewritesbs]

Don't you think it's funny cause actual canon gay characters in BL manga/manhwa will say "I love you" but only the shounen bromance can spew out some of the most romantic shit akin to a 19th century poet writing a letter expressing his surpressed love for his lover 😭.....

ok but when you put it like that...

This is an interesting conversation to have because I am not sure it's so much about the demographics (shonen is more of a demographic than a literary genre although it does have certain characteristics that define it because of its intended demographic), as it is about writing skill and being able to show vs. tell.

Because, as a fujo who went through a thirsty fujo phase, I consumed a lot of bl. Like... A LOT. And I came out of that phase accepting the cold realization that I did not like most bl/yaoi because it is highly clichéd and relies on tropes entirely way too much.

Like I literally used to say "I read yaoi for the plot" because...

GIVE ME THE CHEMISTRY, GIVE ME THE DYNAMIC, GIVE ME THE DRAMAAAAAAAAA!!!!

To your point under the cut 😂 ...

Man, I just can't get over how well you put it.

Anyways, given how you framed your ask, so do you think it's a male perspective thing? I ask because I do recognize that sometimes the way male friendships are portrayed in animanga feels very intimate and very unique to Japanese media, although I could be wrong.

Because, if we're talking about the big battle shonen bl manga out there, jjk, naruto, bnha, hq, etc. are the big "offenders" and these are all male authors (well, we're not sure about hq). So I can see why you feel like these characters are able to express their perspective for each other in a way that you don't see in other manga.

Personally, I am a big fan of how CLAMP (who are all women and very possibly all queer) executes LGBTQ+ dynamics. An example found in a shonen manga that I particularly love is kurofai from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle.

And the thing about this pairing is that you never hear them say "I love you." Instead you are shown through their behavior towards one another and the subtext how much they have grown to care for each other.

In addition to the majority of CLAMP's m/m dynamics (across a variety of manga published for different demographics), another couple of examples of gays I love include Tomoko Yamashita's pairing in Sankaku Mado no Sotogawa wa Yoru (although I didn't care for the ending), Yoneda Kou's Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai, and obvs Sayo Yamamoto and Mitsurou Kubo's Yuri on Ice. I haven't read/seen Banana Fish but I understand that's another bl fan fave classic that is good.

So there are some good dynamics out there outside of shonen lol, you just have to dig for them like a maniac... or so I've been told ehem.

But even as masterful as CLAMP is at executing soulmate dynamics, if you specifically take itafushi for example, Gege's ability to vest that bromance with so much beauty is just off the charts something else. As a woman I find the container of this dynamic to be deeply aspirational. There's this shared and unspoken understanding between the two characters, not to mention love that... idk.. it just has this... je ne sais quoi.

idk... I am curious about more #thoughts on this because there's a lot going on here in terms of self-insertion into male characters, equality in dynamics, just so much to unpack.

Please feel free to send all the #thoughts to whomever else reads this!

Thanks for reaching out anon!!!!

[thisisvoided]

VOILEMCE AASK

8, 24, 25

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥💥💥💥

VIOLENCE GALORE!!!!!! 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

i put it under a keep reading because it got a little long *COUGH* i may have. opinions about things. whoopsie doodles <3

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

firstly, silver being a soft uwu baby. he isn't, end of discussion. idk WHY everybody is so fucking keen on infantilizing him and turning him into this idiot that can't tell left from right but it's just---UGH. stop having the most milk-white baby-ass surface-level takes, maybe? yes, he can be innocent and unknowledgeable in certain ways, but there is a difference between having a curiosity for the world because of all of the new experiences it holds and acting like a fucking infant. he doesn't understand social cues and norms and laws and shit because he was brought up in an apocalyptic hellscape! this doesn't instantly turn him into a toddler---in fact, it leans in the opposite direction! he acts too old for his age, he's grown up too fast, and he's probably got a martyr complex, people! seriously, out of everyone, you're going to infantilize the guy that was 100% willing and down to kill a guy he didn't know anything about if it meant saving the future? really?

secondly, shadow and sonic somehow turning into soft widdle sensual boys when paired up romantically with ANYBODY. i'm not even going to get into how shadow and sonic have such deep aro/ace-spec coding (along with every other sonic character), but the long and short of it is this: these two, no matter what they go through, will never turn into cuddly little babies in a romantic relationship. sorry babes, but its just the truth, plain and simple, and its been proven again and again. honestly, more people need to learn that in any relationship, physical contact is not a requirement or a need to keep that relationship healthy and long-lasting. (also not going to get into allonormativity and amatonormativity bcuz that would be wayyy to long of a discussion LMAO but. just understand that it is so very there with most/all of you)

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

i'm. actually not too sure lmao. either anything involving shipping or the archie-or-idw bs.

probably the archie-or-idw bs.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

saying it again because this gave me more room to actually discuss it

"archie is better than idw because BLAH BLAH BLAH---" "idw is better than archie because BLAH BLAH BLAH---"

i am SICK OF EVERYONE'S SHIT regarding this because the two are so deeply different and incomparable on so many levels it's like--- what the fuck are even trying to accomplish? looking like a little whiny bitch? and it's never even like. valid arguments 90% of the time. its just "ohhh but archie doesnt have THIS" "ohhh but idw doesnt have THIS"

just SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. creator almighty, do not waste yourself in my presence because i do not give a single shit my chum. <3

(if you have actual valid arguments then that's fine but like. if you're just spewing shit out of your ass then fuck you. which a majority of you are)

[onlyang3ll]

Gotta Be Better

a/n: HI hello, rafe cameron imagine here!!! wanna say I personally have dealt with loved ones and addictions ruining their life. and just know you are not alone if you deal with something like this in real life. I did not make rafe in this murder rafe lol but its typical jerk kook rafe. I AM NOT romanticizing drug addiction nor any sort of toxic relationship! this is all just me trying to write an idea that came to my head and FICTION. anyways, I hope you enjoy I feel like I went about this one different while writing. so idk if i feel confident in this writing but b a nice human and enjoy once again. did not proofread wanted to get it up.

summary: yn and rafe date whilst he deals with addiction. 

warnings: swearing, DRUG USE!, drinking, oral sex(male receiving),  female stimulation, toxic relationship(staying with someone toxic), driving while under influence, showering together. 

word count: 3.7k

“Baby, you in there?” I heard Rafe’s voice, and a knock on my bathroom door. I am currently washing my hair in the shower. “Yeah, come in!” A second later I hear the door open and close.

I hear Rafe’s heavy breathing, “Are you okay?” I speak softly, in case he is worked up about something. These past couple years I have learned how to bring him down from his rage fairly quickly. “No. No, I am never okay. It's all just fucked up, yn.” I lean over and peer out of the shower curtain he is gripping onto the counter top so hard his knuckles are white, his hair is hanging over his face.

“Come here..” I hold my hand out to him. He shakes his head, I just let out a sigh. “Yes Rafe, take your clothes off and come get in here with me..” I wiggle my hand a bit, making him turn to look at me. He hesitantly walks over grabbing ahold of my hand. “I should go back there and kill him.” His eyes have that void in them, it happens when he gets like this.

I have never been scared of Rafe. He liked that about me. He knew he could always count on me to not back down from him. I shake my head at his words, and give him a little pout. “No you should not, what you should do is take those clothes off and come give me some company in this shower, yeah?” He groans, like he is fighting with himself to just let whatever got him so pissed go.

I gave him a little pouty lip, and he sighed then pulled my hand up placing a kiss against the back of my hand. He quickly got undressed and stepped in the shower. The best thing about my shower is the two shower heads at each end. So we both stood under the stream of hot water. I moved closer to run my hands up his bare chest, “You feeling a bit better?” Rafe looks down to see your face, pushing his wet hair back off of his face, nodding a little. “What had you so worked up?”

I ask him that question every time, so we can walk through ways to handle it next time, or just help him realize he shouldn't be so bothered by things. Rafe has been my friend since we were children, being neighbors it was hard not to be close. He is about two years older than I am. But in the many years of being friends turned lovers, I have learned to handle his breakouts pretty well.

But recently the rage has been spewing out of him wildly. Every day something happens and it makes him tick. It hurts me seeing him battle things within himself and I try my best to help and be there for him as much as I can. But he always tries to shelter me away from things, but I always find out the truth.

“It’s not worth repeating, baby..” He replied, I stood up on my tippy toes placing soft kisses on his cheek. “Well how could I even justify your want to ‘kill’ someone if you won't explain what happened?” I gave a little confused look. When Rafe hides things, it's normally stuff he feels I will be disappointed about.

Rafe tugged me closer by my hips, our bare chests pressing together. He leaned down and gave my head a gentle kiss. “Before I start, I promise it was just for shits and giggles. It won't be an all the time thing again..” as he spoke those words, I began to pull away from him, already not liking where this was going. But Rafe pulled me back, keeping me locked against him.

I look up to see his face as he explains further, “I went to visit an old friend..” he wiped some droplets of water off of his face before continuing. “Fuck! Okay , I was hanging around people I know I shouldn't have gone back around, did a few lines..then some douche started talking about you. I did a few more lines to try and ignore his shit talking. Then I blew up and had to leave before I did something stupid.”

Even though I am completely pissed off he snorted fucking coke again, I know Rafe cant control his temper when it involves me. He has to protect me. I don’t think anyone has ever bad-mouthed me and gotten away with it. But I needed a moment to think before speaking. I slipped away from him and got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body.

“Oh come on... baby you can't be that mad. Shit head was trying to rile me up and I walked away.” He completely leaves out the fact he did blow again. I stay silent. I heard the water shut off, and heard Rafe cursing under his breath. I let out a small laugh. “What is so funny?” He deadpans.

“Its fucking funny that even after how hard I try to help, how much I show you I am here!” I point to my chest, “you still can’t keep your fucking nose from sniffing shit!” Rafe was getting angry, but he knew this would cause an argument. He knew how much I hated that fact he used coke to cope with things. It has only gotten worse in the last year.

He was doing so good. All my caring for nothing.

Rafe walked up, gripping onto my shoulders, “It is all too much. The things I have going on in my head. I promise I will be better.” He stared down at my face, his eyes overly dilated and glossy looking into mine. “Baby, I will be better..You make me better. I can not lose you.”

When he said things that like and did what he did tonight makes me think otherwise. How could I make him better when he is still repeating old patterns?

I give him a small nod, “You won't lose me.” The corners of his mouth turning up a bit, he pulled me into his chest wrapping his arms around me. And when I say rafe won't lose me.. I mean it. I can't imagine and wont even dream of a life without him.

“Come on, let's get some sleep..” I spoke quietly.

~

“Rafey..” I nudged the six foot two giant laying beside me with an arm and leg swung over mine. “Your phone is going crazy..” He slowly opened his eyes, and turned over grabbing his phone off the nightstand. “Who is it?” I ask with squinted eyes, trying to make out any movements by him.

“Shit..” He hurried out of the bed, frantically searching for his khaki pants. “Shit, shit..” He repeated over and over. “Rafe what the hell is going on? It is four thirty in the morning, who are you in such a rush to see?” Now I am sitting straight up on the bed, watching my boyfriend run around like a mad man.

“Not important..um just go back to bed.” He spit out quickly, tossing his phone on the bed as he buttoned up his pants, and began putting his shoes on. Not important my ass. I grab his phone and look at the screen. Twenty messages from one unknown number. Before I could unlock the phone, my wrist was being squeezed, causing my hand to let go of the phone.

“I told you its not important, so don’t fucking touch my phone.” Rafe let go of my wrist, grabbing his phone. I was overly annoyed at this point, and just wanted to help. But rafe wants to be a dick, I can play that game too. “Well run along wouldn't want your late night booty call waiting much longer.” I know I shouldn't have said that. It was selfish and I knew it was not true.

Rafe would never cheat on me.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” He walked over to stand in front of my small figure, while I sat on the edge of the bed. I stayed quiet. “How could you ever say that?” He sounded hurt. But anger still lingered in his voice. “You sound so fucking stupid saying that,” Rafe bent down to make our faces level, gripping onto my chin.

“I fucking love you. I would never do anything to hurt you.” He spoke softly. He always seems to forget he constantly breaks promises, and that is hurting me enough.

“Yn, do you understand that?” He spat, I gave a light nod. “Good girl,” He placed his lips against my forehead, letting go of my chin and taking a step back. My eyes moved up to look at his face which was plastered with a grin. “I will see you later, k.” No other words, just another kiss being placed on my lips and he was gone.

~

It has been over six hours since I last saw Rafe, now nearing around almost ten o’clock, I made my way to the country club early to grab a cabana to relax for the day with some friends.

Slowly through the next hour or so, the sun began to beam down and I sat reading and engaging in random conversations with my friends. It has been a peaceful morning. “Fuck out of the way pogue.” I spoke too soon, I knew that voice too well. Turning my back, Rafe was walking my way, smiling and gave a wave to me.

I couldn't help but smile back, he may be rough around the edges but god do I love that man. He could be evil and cruel, but never to me. At least never on purpose. The only time Rafe ever gets on guard with me is if he is high or planning on getting high.  I heard my friends say they were going to go swim for a little while, which I assume is because Rafe is now here. No one else besides me and his friends were fans of him.

“There is my beautiful girl,” He holds out his hands, to help me stand up off of the lounge chair I am sitting on. He wore sunglasses, his hair perfectly placed and his outfit is just normal Rafe wear. A dark blue polo with Khaki shorts. Handsome as ever. Once I am fully standing he tugs me into his chest, giving me a short but passionate kiss. “I missed you,” He whispers into my ear before placing kisses all over my face. I let out a small giggle. “Missed you too, even though you left my house all weird this morning.”

Rafe groans, “Lets not think about that right now..” He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “I came here to see my beautiful girlfriend, looking sexy as hell in her little bikini she has on.” He took a step back and pulled his glasses down a bit, checking me out dramatically. I laughed a bit, and reached up playfully tugging his sunglasses off, before I could get them away too far his hand caught my wrist. “Please don't do that” I gave him a confused look letting him put his sunglasses back on.

Instantly I knew why he wanted them on so badly.

“You're coked out aren't you.” I spoke in a low voice, not to let others around hear us. Rafe stayed quiet. Figures. “I can not believe you Rafe! Just last night you once again said you would try and be better, not even twenty four hours later you're high again.” I step away gathering my things, throwing them into my tote bag.

“Don't walk away from me,” Rafe grabbed onto my hand gently as I passed him to leave. “Please, don't leave me,” He pleaded. I stopped in my tracks, the pain in his voice hit me like a ton of bricks. “Can we just leave here, I don't wanna be here anymore” Without another word, we were silently driving in his truck. I had nothing to say to him right now, and I know the minute he talks and gives me a reason he did whatever he did today I will forgive him.

“Baby you gotta talk to me. I only did two lines. I was so stressed because I had to handle some shit with my dad earlier and he just pissed me off.” I glance over as he talks, noticing his knuckles gripping the wheel tighter from just the thought of his father. I begged him to let me drive due to him being high, but he wouldn't let me.

“You can't go around sniffing shit every time your dad pisses you off Rafe! You are killing yourself, you always ask me to stay. Never to leave you right? Well what happens when you leave me.” Rafe scoffed, “Never will I ever leave you, you are my only source of happiness” I shook my head, “No you will leave me when that shit ends up killing you!” I replied with tears forming in my eyes.

He sighed pulling the truck over to the side of the road, turning off the ignition. “You know I can't stand to see you cry, baby..” He reaches over and wipes a tear from your cheek. “I just get so into my head, always having these fucked up thoughts, and my dad doesn't help. And i just want to be better for you, i dont wanna bring you down because my fucking issues.” I hold my hand up to stop him from continuing, “Wrong Rafe, you should want to come to me with your issues, you will NOT get better unless you realize what you're doing is wrong, don't use me and not want to bring me down as an excuse. I much rather enjoy your company sober than high anyday. So as I am still sitting here, telling you once again I wont leave Rafe. I will be here through the good and the bad. But I never will just let these things slide. I won't sugar coat things, you have your own issues yeah, we all do. But I know you're smart, and are capable of so much more than what your father makes you think you are.”

At this point I am sobbing, it's hard to express things to an addict. They don't see what it's doing to them or people around them. Rafe sniffles, wiping away a tear of his own, “I am getting my shit together baby, for you and for us.” He speaks like he is trying to convince himself.

“I know you will rafey..” I reply, nodding. But I just say it because it's the right thing to do, who am I to bring him down when he is trying to see his faults. “I will be better because you need me, I can't leave you. I would never leave you, pretty girl.” He ran his thumb across my cheek. He is right, I do need him.

~

“How does this look?” I walk out of my closet wearing a black tight spaghetti strap dress that goes to about mid thigh, doing a little twirl. Rafe sits up from his position of laying flat on his back on my bed. He gives a little whistle. “One of a kind you are, how lucky am i?” He smiles, while I blush.

After the whole melt down in the truck, we spent the day just spending well needed time together, It's been a really great day since. And we plan to end the evening at toppers house with a party.

“Oh hush, come on we can't be late” I tug his hand and make our way. Walking into the party, fully pressed against Rafes' side, his arm slung around my shoulder. People waved and yelled a few ‘hey what's up?’ here and there but we didnt stop and chat until we found topper. Instantly our hands were holding drinks and Rafe of course was downing way faster than I could. I laughed as he whispered things into my ear while I was perched on his lap, his fingers mindlessly running up and down my thigh.

Goosebumps rising on my skin, I leaned back feeling at ease in his arms. The ease went away pretty quickly, when Kelce walked in tossing a bunch of baggies filled with white powder on the table. I felt Rafe tense underneath me. “Everyone enjoy, the Yay is on me” I wanted to strangle this man.

Rafe dug his fingers into my hips, I turned around and sigh. “Let's get out of here..” I stand up, grabbing his hand and pulling him to stand with me. He won't budge. “Rafey please..” Maybe I can't get him away and continue to have a good night. He will see it's not worth it.

Then an idea hits me. I lean down, placing my hands on each of his knees, moving in close to his ear and whispering, “How about since you have been such a good boy all night, we go somewhere I can reward you?” He smirked, wrapping his hands around running them up the back of my thighs. “Whatever that reward is, will be ten times better than this shit” He waves a hand at the coke all over the glass table.

Progress. My sweet boy.

The whole time I was dragging him out of the house and down toppers boat doak, Rafe could not stop grabbing at my ass, and whining about how badly he wanted to take me right there in front of everyone so they could see how hot I am but will never have me. I laughed, so possessive.

“Why are we on top’s boat baby?” He looked around confused. Once he spun back around from looking through the boat, I was already on my knees. He groaned, “What a sight to see..” He pulled his phone out quickly, he nodded at it. I knew he wanted a picture, I looked so innocent, doe eyed looking up at him with my pouty red lips. I nodded, and he snapped the picture.

“You gonna stand there gawking at me or take your pants off for me?” I deadpan, never seen him get undressed from the waist down quicker. His dick was already standing and leaking from the tip. “You were such a good boy tonight..” I slowly bring my hand up to wrap around his base, a hiss leaves his mouth. “Suck it then” He demands. I look up, locking my eyes with his, leaning in wrapping my lips around his swollen tip.

Keeping eye contact I slide my mouth down fully covering his dick, he mumbles a curse under his breath. I begin to repeat the action, going at a slow and steady pace, pulling back to the tip and going down until he hits the back of my throat.

“You take me so deep baby,” He runs his fingers through his hair, watching me suck him off. My eyes are watering, due to holding back from gagging while his tip is hitting my throat, I swallow with him in my mouth. His eyes roll back, “Oh my fucking god, feels so good..” I was wet from just pleasing him, moving my hand down and playing with my clit as I sucked his dick.

“Yeah get yourself off while I fuck your mouth, dirty girl.” His hand found the back of my head and held me still, while he began to move his hips quicker, sliding in and out of my mouth. My finger swirling around my clit, the tingly feeling building up too quickly in my lower belly. I moan around his member, moving my tongue around the tip while he pulls back to repeat his thrust.

“I am gonna cum in your mouth, and you're going to swallow it for me okay?” His eyes were so full of lust and desire, I nodded with a slight moan. “I'm close so when I say cum you better cum” I moved my fingers quicker over my bundle of nerves, squirming and feeling overwhelmed with pleasure, his moaning and heavy breathing, I could cum instantly.

His thrusts into my mouth were getting sloppy, I knew he was close. “Cum, baby fuck.. Cum for me” He closed his eyes tightly and I let go, orgasming and swirling my fingers faster over my clit. His hot cum shot into my throat, I swallowed it all down. After we came down from our highs, he pulled out of my mouth slowly.

Helping me to stand up, he brought his hand up to caress my jaw, “Did so good princess.” He gave me a small kiss on the lips. He pulled on his boxers and pants, looking at me. “Thank you.” I looked at him, “For what?” He grabbed ahold of my hand, lacing our fingers. “For this, for getting me out of the room.” He replied. I sighed, “I will always do my best to help you get on the right track, but I won't always be with you to see if you stay good. But in the end you made the final decision to walk out of that room. You could have pushed me aside and snorted whatever you wanted. But you didn't. You walked away, Rafe”

Moving in closer, I cup his cheeks with my hands, “You will be better, because you just made the first step to trying to be better babe.” I gave him a sweet smile, both of our eyes filling with tears. “You need me, and I need you.” I nod at his words. “I love you,” He rested his chin onto my head, sighing. “I love you, princess. I can do it. I can do it.” I smiled, hugging him. “Yup, and maybe everytime you make the step in the right direction, you mister will get a little reward.” I giggle against his chest.

“That sounds like a good incentive” He joked, “Lets head back in, say our goodbyes and tell topper I got head on his fucking boat before he did” I playfully slapped his chest.

[trialbywombaat]

Given that the last episode of v2 is called like ‘piggyback’, and we know that the second Will crosses into Hawkins he is gonna be mega vulnerable, I can’t help but hope that that last episode is gonna be about Will and El (though I’m sure El could also piggyback with Max or Nancy, and both of those could be really cool to see).

I’m imagining El being in the salt bath, waiting to be ready to piggyback as soon as Will gets Vecna’d, and probably a lot of the group is on other missions but Mike and Jonathon are definitely there, and maybe some of the others, and Will gets a moment with Mike (which he’s clearly been waiting for) and he just tells him how scared he is. Mike listens, and tells him that they’re going to figure it out together, and does his little smile so Will can’t help cheer up a bit. Then Will decides that now is the time, because he might never get another chance, so he finally gets out his painting and shows it to Mike. And Mike looks at it carefully while Will’s heart is in his mouth and beating so hard, and the Mike looks up and his little smile curls into a grimace, and then he laughs. He says something like ‘how could you ever think I would possibly feel that way about you,’ and goes all homophobic with all those awful words Will has been fighting against like disgusting and fairy and worse tbh, and Will can’t help it, he starts to cry, but then Mike morphs into Vecna and our brief relief at realising it want Mike breaking Will’s heart turns into panic for Will as he starts running away from Vecna. Will keeps waiting for El to arrive but El’s spewing homophobic shit too and really it’s still Vecna. That’s when Vecna starts to tell Will that Mike would never love him and his mother and Jonathan and everyone would hate him and El and Mike are laughing at him and Will is so distressed he doesn’t even realise that Vecna vines have twisted around him and he’s trapped.

And then he sees El again and this time it’s the real El, and she’s seen it all, and he feels just so broken and awful that’s she’s seen that and he can see the heartbreak on her face too, and Vecna turns to her. And we know how strong El is, and even though she is so cut up she channels all of that against Vecna and starts idk pushing him back and trying to tie him with his own vines, but even while she’s maybe getting close to winning he’s trying to convince her to side with him. And his story changes, and this time he’s convincing El that Will js trying to come between her and Mike, and that she could just let Will die and no one would know. And El isn’t faltering really, she knows she would never do that to Will or Mike, and deep down she already knew Mike and her weren’t going to end up together, that their love wasn’t actually like that, but she’s exhausted and Vecna is so strong, and Vecna is starting to tell her that without Mike she’s no one. Will is trying to tell her that it isn’t true but she can’t hear him, and she starts to cry, as she sees her own visions of Mike and Will mocking her. So Vecna keeps going as her strength wanes, and he says something like come on, you’re my sister, and he breaks El’s arm in that super creepy unnatural way, and something in Will just snaps.

And then it’s Will, together with El, destroying Vecna together, and Will snaps his neck and Vecna is dead, and Will is like ‘she’s my sister you douche’. That should be the end of it, and El struggles to her feet, but Will realised that now his powers are on he can’t turn them off. He urges El to leave him but she refuses, walking up to him and putting a hand on his shoulder, trying to ground him. But nothing works, and Wills powers knock her backwards and he screams at her to get away.

It’s then we flash back to the bathroom, or school hall or wherever they set up the bath, and El wakes up and Mike goes to her, but she’s panicked and just says to help Will before Max and Nancy are dragging her out of the bath, and Mike looks up at Will waiting for him to fall back down to the ground but nothing happens, and Mike is freaking out so he goes for plan B and changes the radio from static to a tape if Should I Stay or Should I Go. While he’s getting it going Will slowly lowers to the ground and for a second Mike hesitates, thinking everything’s going to be okay and he won’t have to do anything, but Wills feet don’t quite touch the ground and slowly the ground below him starts to go all purpley and upside-downy. And it’s slow and fast at the same time, the way it spreads, while Jonathon and Mike rush to get the song on.

And we’re back to Wills pov, where he’s still unable to control his own powers in Vecna-land but he hears his song and a hole opens in the sky, and there he sees Mike crying out to him, and he’s holding the open painting. And Will realises that even though he doesn’t know how Mike feels about him, or what will happen next , it’s going to be okay, and slowly his powers calm down and he falls to the ground back in the real world and Mike pulls him close. They’re both crying and hugging and Jonathon joins in too but eventually his hold loosens and Mike still has this chokehold on Will, like he isn’t going anywhere. And then the song ends and the next song plays, and Mike reaches back to grab the tape and gives it to Will. On the tape it says ‘love Mike’ and Will sees it and neither of them can say anything yet and Will just holds on to Mike even tighter.

[jyndor]

let’s talk about anxiety, excitement and negativity about andor:

(or cait has a slow day at the salon so now we get this discourse. read if you want, and if you think I’m being negative at the end of this essay I’m genuinely curious as to why, and I’d like to hear from you).

ANDOR SPOILERS behind the cut:

A good thing about Rogue One is that the fandom has very diverse, robust opinions on the characters. Undoubtedly some of those opinions I disagree with, but I like that we all have varying interpretations of canon. Fanfiction writers - even the ones like me who barely do any writing lmfao #rip - have done a lot to build fanon into what it is. And we’ve had YEARS to do it. So we’ve naturally got Pretty Strong Feelings about these characters and what they’ve been through before the film (and after for those of us in utter denial).

Cassian Andor is a character that I immediately liked - as was Jyn Erso, for very similar and different reasons all at once. He is a character that has a lot of the traits I most admire in people and that I value in myself - strong sense of right and wrong, good judgment, dedication, loyalty. And I liked that Rogue One allowed these characters to be unlikable at times, that they always stayed true to what a real person in their shoes might do, not what a character in a story might do. We get to explore what makes Cassian into the character we see in the film, how he grows into that man.

His growth is pretty dynamic just in the film alone, so the idea that we might see where he comes from - what shapes him into the Cassian we see in the film - has always appealed to me. When the Cassian show was announced I knew that it was going to change things for what we see as canon, that it was going to flesh things out about his character in ways I might not agree with. I was and am SO EXCITED to see one of my favorite characters on screen again.

When someone who is an authority on what canon is says something that doesn’t really fit our individual understandings of canon, that can feel weird. It’s different than when a fellow fan thinks differently on canon because lol none of us have any actual sway over canon - just our own interpretations of canon. I mean don’t get me wrong some of y’all annoy me with your hot takes too but it’s far more aggravating when it’s like one of those idiots on the Lucafilm Story Whatever Board spewing some shit. Even George Lucas sometimes annoys me with his literal own interpretation of his own content ... I mean that’s nothing new in this fandom.

For example, this is a silly one. Whenever Diego says (rightfully bc he is 10000% correct) that Cassian is dead, my dumbass is like WHERES THE BODY BITCH. I get kind of, idk, weird about it? Because in my headcanon, these characters are not dead. That is called a ~personal problem and I’m only sort of joking. I’m pro-the ending because it works so well, but I am also one of the weirdos who wouldn’t actually be mad if they retconned it. They shouldn’t, I know that it actually would take away from how hard the ending hits, but I wouldn’t be mad. I assume most of you disagree with that - and you’re right to disagree because I’m objectively wrong but I also just ~~~FEEL THAT WAY.

This is an example of my interpretation being non-canonical. But I’ve already seen the film so I can make that conclusion if I want to - it’s absurd and completely defenseless (NO BODY NO CRIME js) but it is what it is.

So it stands to reason that if we have feelings about how things would have gone had Cassian lived, we also all have feelings about how things went before Rogue One. And considering there is only a little bit of information canonically, our feelings are going to be WILDLY varied. I think we all know that.

I fully expect the show to deviate from some things in my headcanon - like for instance, I don’t expect Cassian to be a math/piloting genius just because I interpret the escaping Jedha scene as Cassian being exceptionally gifted at calculating jumps. That’s my interpretation and I recognize that it’s just that. An interpretation. I do expect him to be very good at piloting because he is one in canon. If the trailer showed 20-something Cassian sucking at piloting I’d be side-eyeing the shit out of it. I don’t expect Cassian to be someone who picks up strays everywhere he goes, but I do expect him to “have the face of a friend” no matter how superficially.

And in the same vein, and much more seriously, I expect that someone who argues with a literal former child soldier about how she only joined up when the fight impacted her personal life to have been in some sort of resistance in his teens at LEAST. I’m not saying the spoilers are conclusive in any way about any of this, but some of the quotes give me pause. I don’t think that’s negative, I don’t think that’s anything other than having a feeling about a thing that seems pretty much established fact: that Cassian Andor was a Separatist himself is kind of murky (he was a child lmfao) but that he was in the fight from an early age? Literally canon I’m sorry.

But also, spoilers don’t come with context and trailers misrepresent things all the time. That’s why I was waiting to firmly decide if I thought Adria was playing a love interest. Trailers lie: that scene could still be Bix showing Cassian something without like sexual tension lmfao, but it very likely is intended to be romantic. Okay, cool. I still don’t know how I’ll feel about their relationship because I haven’t seen the show yet. I have Concerns based on my interpretation of Tony Gilroy’s quote about their relationship being on again off again and Cassian burning bridges with Bix and everyone lmfao, but for all I know contextually it could work really well to me! But without that context, that sounds like a toxic relationship and I’d rather Cassian not have a toxic relationship, especially if my speculation about Bix not making it to the second season is correct. God, I’m so tired of women (in particular woc) dying for men’s stories to progress. I was worried about that when I thought Adria was playing his sister, and I’m worried about that now. I’m not being negative, I’m being realistic - this is a common trope for a reason.

I know that a lot of rebelcaptain shippers are uncomfortable with Cassian being in a relationship with someone else and I don’t agree in this context. It seems kind of odd to me to feel that way, but also I won’t lie that I wouldn’t like it if Cassian is in a committed relationship with another person when Rogue One begins. To me that would chip away at Cassian’s motivations in the film - he’s lost everything, so he throws everything into his service with the Alliance - and if we consider the novelization canon that would be... hard to square with his characterization in the book. But not impossible.

A lot of these spoilers are hard for me to square with my interpretation of what canon says. And my interpretation is pretty literal for the most part - except for the NO BODY NO CRIME ending lmfao - so that does worry me. It worries me that Gilroy said that what we read in Wookiepedia is not the truth about Cassian, but also we haven’t seen the show so for all we know he means that that’s not all there is to know about Cassian, or that the like idk supplemental materials (like the visual dictionary) are not going to remain canon. Which... alright, well then tell a better story.

I don't think it's out of bounds to be skeptical about things in interviews, there's a few choices that I personally not only wouldn't make but that don't seem to track with what literal canon says in the film, but also we have to remember that we haven't seen the context these things they're talking about are in, we haven't seen the show yet. So maybe they do make sense! I am reserving my judgment until I have watched the episodes twice because I know myself well - I have an initial reaction and then a more reasoned reaction after the adrenaline passes. Sometimes it’s the same (my feelings on Rogue One stayed VERY MUCH THE SAME LOL). Often I become a little more critical.

But I can't deny that it's disappointing to hear some spoilers that confuse me and make me nervous. I don't want to be nervous about fundamental things like Cassian's literal childhood not seeming to match what he says in the show - and anyone who says "well him being in the fight since he was a kid is your interpretation" lmfao no it is not. How he was in the fight is absolutely up to interpretation, and I hope that they stick the landing there. I definitely have my reservations from spoilers, but again there’s no context so it’s like... I can’t have an informed opinion.

I feel fairly confident that the show will be well-written and thoughtful, and definitely will have something to say. I think it's gonna be fantastic, but I'm also like, not all that trusting of Lucasfilm. For good reason - I was never a massive Obi Wan stan and even I can see that there were major issues with the show, even if I enjoyed a lot of it. And Boba Fett... yikes. But also the context is different: Diego is EXECUTIVE PRODUCER and has a lot of feelings on his character, and I’m speculating here but I think he has a lot to do with some details - Cassian’s dad is named Jeron in honor of Diego’s son Jeronimo, for example. I think the idea that Cassian is a refugee comes directly from Diego, and the fact that his (adopted) mother is a white woman almost certainly does too. I know Ewan McGregor was Exec Producer for his show but I’ve never gotten the idea that he’s as much of a fan as Diego is. It’s different.

Temeura Morrison also had a lot to do with fleshing out Boba and it still flopped imo but that show’s context is also different - it’s clearly supplemental to the Mandalorian, and also the showrunner wasn’t, idk, literally involved in creating Boba Fett at all. We’ll never know how much Tony Gilroy actually is responsible for - but he was a RO writer even before the reshoots. I wish Gary Whitta and especially Chris Weitz were involved, but who knows. Sometimes writers aren’t credited - Gilroy wasn’t going to be before the reshoots.

They've had years and years to develop the story and it's just got a different feel to the rest of the shows tbh - the fact that they’re not forcing Gilroy to use the Volume says a lot about how much effort they’re putting into the show and how much creative control Disney is relinquishing (maybe). I'm not saying that's a stopgap for bullshit choices, but it tells me they’re being purposeful. That this is a passion project.

But I guess the biggest question is this: what is negativity to you? Is negativity shitposting and making jokes about spoilers? If so, well then I guess I’m negative, in spite of literally all of my years of excitement about and defense of the show. I mean we all have different interpretations of negativity, so if you feel like I’m being negative, well okay then you don’t have to follow me. I’m a grown up, I can take it. I can see how some people might feel like I am being negative because I am reacting to spoilers and not loving what I’m hearing about some things. Personally for me negativity is a lot of things, but critique is not one of them. It is hard to critique something without having seen it though. Practically impossible tbh.

And it's been tiring for all of us Cassian fans to put up with idiots who have been relentless saying no one wanted this show (even though that is not true and also no one ‘wanted’ Rogue One but John Knoll originally, and it’s one of the most beloved SW films ever). So I can understand why some might feel like the anxiety some of us feel about the show’s version of Cassian would feel exhausting to deal with. I don't want to turn off people who are, like me, super excited for the show just because I have concerns. But I’m also not going to accept that having concerns, that being anxious, is being negative on its face. Because I’ve heard that all my life - being mentally ill is not usually a positive experience folks. I know when I’m being negative and when I’m being realistic.

For those of us who are anxious about the show, we should also touch some fuckin grass. It IS easy to get sucked into negativity when anxiety kicks in and ultimately we do not know much about the content of the show. We should try to be better about keeping perspective, not for our followers lmfao but for ourselves. Venting is one thing, but I do think it’s better to use venting to be constructive - find the Now What? of a thing that we’re reacting to. In other words, our immediate reactions will be what they will be, but what do we do when we pause and take the time to think them through?

An example: I think I was being negative in my initial reaction to Cassian’s birth name not being Cassian Andor. I almost immediate understood what they were going for - my last name is not what my ancestors’ last name was back in the old country lmfao. This is a common immigrant experience that transcends origin (thanks structural white supremacy and xenophobia <333) and is a very poignant addition to his story. But I was like EHHH FUCK THAT FUCK CHANGE for a good few minutes or so. Mainly because I’ve always called his Cass, and Kassa is close but honestly read more Greek to me ??? idk lmfao I just had to sit down and think for a moment.

Another example was when I said Gilroy wasn’t involved in writing Rogue One. Well it turns out that I was flat out wrong - he just wasn’t credited with writing he did for the script until the reshoots. So I was being unfair and reactive - it is very likely that he is responsible for why the movie is so good. I wasn’t joking about some dumbass spoilers, I was actually annoyed about the overarching picture these spoilers present of Cassian’s teen years - but of course how can I know what they mean without context?

Realistically I don’t trust Lucasfilm to stick the landing in every case. But I also know that they have before - and specifically THIS TEAM has stuck the landing before - so it’s not like I’m thinking it’s going to suck. I think it’s going to be great. I am worried about how these spoilers fit into what we are going to see but my expectations are still very high. And if they weren’t, well then idk maybe that would be a good thing! It’s easier to enjoy something if you don’t go in with super high expectations.

I think we as fans do need to keep in mind that the show is not going to match our personal interpretations of canon and our feelings on that are going to be what they are - but I also think that it is GREAT they are telling this story at all, and we should wait til we see the finished product to decide if we're actually happy with it or not.

And if we’re not happy with the finished product, well... then we can light them up for it lmfao.

[musclesandhammering]

Perfectly articulated something I’ve been trying to say for a long ass time.

But also, like.. I think we all just need to learn to distinguish between systems, groups, and individuals in every sense as well. Including when it comes to (and I know my fellow progressives are gonna murder me over this) wealthy individuals.

Like, yes, it’s absolutely true that rich people all have massive privilege and they all are part of a system that oppresses the hell out of poor people. But individual celebrities etc should not bare the brunt of our collective outrage. They should be called out when they do problematic stuff and checked when they say something out of touch, but like the full force of our anger should not be aimed at idk miley cyrus or justin beiber- it should be aimed at politicians, ceos, and lobbyists.

And celebrities can and are oppressed in different ways as well, and have just as much right to talk about their experiences with it as we do. I hear gen z folks all the time saying stuff like “idc if that actress got paid way less than her male colleagues. Boo hoo, she’s rich. I hope they pay her even less next time.” Or “idc if that black football player is being used and exploited by the team owner, he gets paid millions. I have no empathy for him.” Or “idc if that rich queer person overcame their sexuality related trauma and came out. They don’t have to deal with the same shit poor gays have to deal with so their struggles are meaningless.” And it’s so damn frustrating.

I just… can we please remind ourselves that people are still people, even ones that have way more privilege than others. And none of us has a right to the moral high ground, because everyone has some form of privilege. Call people out, hold people to account.. but stop spewing hatred at individuals that haven’t done anything but exist in a broken system.

i do think that one of the worst things “activist” spaces on the internet ever did was convince young marginalized people that individual people, complete strangers, were their oppressors. no, matt from chemistry class isn’t personally oppressing you because he’s a guy, that old lady at the bank isn’t personally oppressing you because she’s cis, your waiter isn’t personally oppressing you because they’re white. individuals can and do contribute to systems of oppression. but seeing random individuals you encounter in your daily life as your oppressors will do nothing but trick you into punching laterally or punching down because you think it’s “empowering.” you might get a momentary rush of endorphins from snapping at the male cashier bc #menaretrashuwu but all you’re doing is being shitty to a random guy making poverty wages.

i saw a tik tok the other day that like perfectly described this phenomenon, how gen z (and some young millennials too tbh) pushes for systemic justice and equality, but refuses to give that on an interpersonal level, and like. y’all. you simply cannot achieve systemic change if you’re not also working toward interpersonal change. you will do more for your own liberation by treating others with sensible patience and kindness than you will pushing this toxic individualist narrative of “i don’t owe anyone anything and i get to act however i want to people i view as my oppressor.” we need class solidarity now more than ever.