#idk. i go back and forth with being guilty with wanting stuff and also like. you fucked me over so bad and we had no money growing up so its

[evandore]

this is the little pattern i got...its not great but also my first ever intentional embroidery attempt so i think she looks nice :)

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

my danganronpa v3 chapter 3 investigation and trial running commentary:

would it be too obvious to predict that kiyo killed angie? because it seems like there was a ritual involved, and he's the ritual guy. and he wouldn't shut up about the resurrection ritual angie wanted to do being like an offense to proper rituals or whatever

you know people have been saying "yeah they're definitely dead, positive, i watched them die" so many times i'm starting to get suspicious

the instant kiyo was like "the spirit medium should be a girl" i knew it was gonna be tenko, and i had the immediate thought of "she's about to die, isn't she?" which only grew stronger as she was saying all that uplifting stuff to himiko

"alright himiko i'll see you later!" i have the sinking feeling you won't

"i'll see you all after the seance!" no you won't, tenko

this singing strongly reminds me of being in church lol. no tune, rhythm, or pitch, everyone's singing terribly, it's barely more than a chant lol

there was a huge obvious thunk in the middle of our song and we just kept singing?? lol okay

kiyo looking at tenko surrounded by a pool of her own blood: "something is amiss." yeah ya think???

tbh i expected there to be a double murder at some point. there was one in each of the previous two games (both in chapter 3, if i recall correctly), so this isn't a surprise

even though i 100% saw it coming, i'm a little bummed it was tenko. i fucking HATED her at the start but she was really growing on me

however, i DID predict that all of the girlies would end up dead, and they took out 2 of the 3 of them in one fell swoop

lmao maki you can call kaito stupid as much as you want, but i see through your ruse. i too was once an angry, brash teenage girl. i know that "he's so stupid i can't stand him" is teenage girl code for "i want him so bad i don't know how to handle it." and like, someone treating her kindly, including her in the group constantly, and believing in her on blind faith alone has got to be out of the norm for her, i get why he gets her so bent out of shape lol

she really did punch him super hard in the mouth tho lol

i miss having kaito around, my buddy my partner in crime. was really missing him the latter half of this chapter

but he's with me at all times in spirit, now that i have the kaito monopad theme! it's like i stuck up a picture of him in my locker, that's what that feels like. he's always there, cheering me on, inspiring me. a constant reminder...of Him

now, as for this case, i do not have nearly as clear of an idea of what happened or who's guilty. i'm definitely more confused than last time. last time i knew basically how the murder happened. this one i'm stumped, on both murders. there's so much that doesn't make sense, idk how it happened. OR who did it. my only hunch is that i think it could be kiyo? but that feels like too simple an answer just because of all the occult stuff and i have no clue why he would do that

"i believe that inner voice will lead me to hope as long as i listen to it" keebo you don't happen to hear the voice of makoto naegi in your head, do you?

LMAOOOO @ kokichi and miu going back and forth about "cum dumpster" and gonta just being like ".......anyway what should we talk about now?"

the taxi game should just be called "reckless driving: the minigame"

"soul bro"????????? kazuichi soda is that you?????

"as a self-proclaimed expert of stepping through floorboards" i'm glad kokichi can make fun of himself as well as others

i mean once they said the loose floorboard was inside the magic circle, the magic circle that kiyo drew and that kiyo told us not to step on, in order to perform the seance that kiyo put together and convinced us to perform........the answer there felt kind of obvious

kiyo was acting very sus the whole trial, trying very hard to pin the blame on himiko

the very unhinged nervous laughter gave it away tbh

is miu saying that she makes keebo look at her shit everyday? also, why go through all that? wouldn't a camera be easier?

why is everyone bullying keebo PLEASE stop

i would just like to say, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart: what the FUCK, kiyo

i didn't expect this game to include an incestuous serial killer, yet here we are

"i nearly went mad" you know what my dude i think you can cut out the word "nearly"

"all the girls here are worthy except maki and miu" hey shut the fuck up, those are my two favorite girls!!!!

"i have finished my explanation to you, friends" we're not friends

"i'll watch over you as a ghost! as your friend, i'll watch over you!" please don't. and once again we're not friends

now i know why i couldn't figure out what happened in these murders or why they occurred - it's because kiyo is INSANE and just did murders for funsies

"i'll put in the effort until everyone trusts me" i see that kaito finally got through to maki

she's still annoying but i'm glad to see that himiko finally grew a bit of a backbone and fought back. and it's heartening to see tenko inspire her, maybe she'll be more interesting as the rest of this game progresses

i do feel bad for her tho, they cruelly took out both prongs of her love triangle at once. she wailed about being alone now, which is sad, but i sure hope she doesn't come to ME for comfort or friendship; despite these developments i'm still not interested in hanging out with her

i thought he was gonna end up annoying me endlessly, but kokichi has become very fascinating. what's your motive, my dude? why do you do the things you do? what's your endgame? i don't understand you and i'm never hanging out with you, but i'm curious

gonta carrying himiko on his back is actually the sweetest thing

bro holdup is kaito dying??????? no no no!!!!!! i need more information IMMEDIATELY!

oh great, i get kiyo's mask as a present, exactly what i wanted

on to chapter 4!

[nohaijiachi]

Re: your last reblog, aside from... trauma sometimes very obviously coloring people's view of things (like anon), I think one reason the fandom in general cares more about Crowley's wants and needs is that... We don't see much at all of them being met. Crowley has the Bentley, the plants, and good alcohol. At a stretch he has his fashionable clothes.

Aziraphale feels guilty for wanting the things he wants, but he still has them: the bookshop is his cozy little nest where Crowley's flat is 100% aesthetic (and yes I know it's a refuge for Crowley but it's not his home, is what I mean, in the sense that he doesn't live there); he has his books, his records, his favorite mug and his favorite tea, his shops, his restaurants where they know him by name, and so on and so forth. And he has Crowley willing to do literally anything for him bar going back to Heaven.

Of course Crowley's lack of things, of comforts, of basically anything, isn't Aziraphale's fault (to me, he's very obviously punishing himself, and he does whatever Aziraphale wants because he wants to make him happy, not because Aziraphale is making him) but I think that seeing Aziraphale having those things and Crowley having basically nothing, and then adding that point that Crowley will do anything for Aziraphale, it's kind of easy to fall into the false equivalence that Aziraphale should be providing whatever Crowley doesn't have. And don't get me wrong, it'd be nice to see Aziraphale doing more tangible stuff for Crowley because it has become kind of unbalanced (because of them BOTH, let me be clear: Crowley wanted to give Aziraphale whatever he wanted and Aziraphale didn't think too much about it becoming the status quo), but also, aside from stuff like that original temptation to Gluttony that got him started on eating, Aziraphale found those hobbies and those creature comforts by himself, he actively sought them out (case in point: the oysters) and that's what Crowley needs to do, too. (I don't know if I'm making sense here lol)

Answer under the cut to not clog y'all dashboards rip

You def make good points I find myself agreeing with. On this one thing it's much harder to figure out how Crowley feels about it, because we see a lot more of the way Aziraphale engages with his passions and hobbies than we do Crowley, that's for sure. We can argue that he likes gardening, and maybe going for long drives? We also know that book!Crowley likes watching television and has a collection of CDs so we can garner he also likes music-- but all the same we don't see him engage with these interests of his in the same way that Aziraphale clearly revels in reading and listening to records and eating.

It's easy to sort of assume that Crowley's whole existence is pretty much centered around Aziraphale and his company, because we never truly get to see him act particularly relaxed unless he's eating with Aziraphale or drinking with Aziraphale or just be around Aziraphale in general.

Personally I don't think that Crowley doesn't have other things that fill his life with joy other than Aziraphale, mostly because if that was truly the case idk how the poor demon wouldn't have lost it out of sheer boredom during the long stretches of time he spent away from Aziraphale. Is just that by both the narrative beats of the story and Crowley's sort of 'grumpy devil-may-care' attitude it is nowhere near as blatantly obvious that he enjoys being on earth and partake in all the things offered by humanity as it is for Aziraphale.

So yes, I agree this is probably one of the -many- reason why what feels like a large part of the fandom has the tendency of imagining Crowley entirely hopeless and distraught without Aziraphale, and thus to feel like Aziraphale isn't dedicating enough attention to him, or is willingly hurting him by being selfish and callous.

I don't think I've made a secret of how much I disagree with this idea, by this point. They are both extremely important for one another, obviously, and show it in all the big and small ways they've been allowed to by the precarious position they are in as technically enemies on opposite sides. But they are both also their own person with their own ideas and opinions and needs and wants that, sometimes, might not necessarily align; they are both pretty independent and capable of existing more or less satisfyingly even if they aren't in each other's pockets all the time-- So yes, I understand why a lot of people in the fandom think that Crowley is more or less a utterly lost mess that would crumble down without Aziraphale, but I don't, and I lowkey resent this interpretation of him lol.

The one thing I-- sort of disagree?? I guess, in your message, is the fact that their dynamic is unbalanced. For one Crowley is actually plenty capable of saying 'no' to Aziraphale; I'm def also guilty of feeding into this idea because it is, admittedly, really quite amusing to poke a bit of fun at Crowley's expense and call him a simp and say that Aziraphale has him wrapped around his little finger-- It is easy to sort of fall into the trap of thinking that Crowley can be commanded by Aziraphale like an errand boy, and forget that's really not the case.

Which also goes hand in hand with the second reason I don't entirely agree with the idea their dynamic is unbalanced, because I think Crowley takes great satisfaction in doing nice things for Aziraphale. So in that sense things are kept equal in the way that Aziraphale feels happy and satisfied and implicitly knows that Crowley cares for him whenever he's being catered to, and Crowley is equally satisfied by being able to kind of play the part of the attentive partner and see his angel all smiley and happy and be comforted by knowing that Aziraphale isn't afraid of being open with him about the things he wants because he trusts him.

To be clear I also a 100% want to see this happen in reverse. I want a comfortable, utterly relaxed Crowley to do his own version of puppy eyes at Aziraphale to get him to do something nice for him, and I want Aziraphale to happily, gladly do so.

I just don't think that as things between them stood up until the very end of S2 Crowley would have let himself show vulnerability, because they simply aren't quite yet in that comfortable spot in which they can say "yes, we love one another and we are together and we'll keep being together for the rest of all time without having to worry about anybody playing interference or threatening our very existence".

I don't think Crowley will manage to be so vulnerable as to openly display his desires until they reach that safety--- And at the same time I can't and won't blame Aziraphale for it. It's not Aziraphale's fault that Crowley has been forced in a spot in which he is pretty much constantly on guard and won't allow himself to fully relax, just as it isn't Crowley's fault Aziraphale hasn't been able to fully free himself of Heaven's clutch and shake off those unhealthy coping mechanisms he has. They are both stuck in a shitty position trying to make the best of it they can.

I do think part of Crowley's character arc in S3 might be him learning to lower his guard somewhat and be more emotionally open, to reach a point in which he can be as openly happy to be on Earth and enjoy it as Aziraphale is, and am definitely looking forward to it as much as I'm looking forward to Aziraphale finally actualizing his own thoughts and morals independent from whatever Heaven or even God says and fully free himself of those fears and doubts once and for all.

[chuusheartattck]

spill the tea, who's the unfortunate looking man who's also 5'7 😭😭

-🦭

Buckle up because this is going to be LONG. Basically i’ve known this guy for a bit (let’s call him Billy) and we’ve been friends but also more than friends? Idk exactly what it was but basically we were close and we would stay up late talking, like the start to every situationship ever but this would be on and off because he use to really like this girl (lets call her Susan). Basically him and Susan were a thing but she would constantly go back and forth between him and this other guy (who she claimed was her first love) So when Billy wasn’t talking to her, he would talk to me, and when she would talk to him again he would completely ditch me.

Then one day out of nowhere he unfollowed me and i think Susan had something to do with it because it was when they started talking again (me and her have mutual friends and they told me that she asked them if me and Billy were talking and would ask them questions about me). So my theory is that she made him unfollow me or something when she started talking to him again. However, that’s not the reason why i got upset (even though at the time this happened i got very upset but not how upset i was a few days ago)

ANYWAYS!! Basically after like a few months he contacted me again (by sending me a tiktok on tiktok dms) so then we started talking again and it was really great because we were closer than we were before and he seemed more interested than me. Tbh i’m bad when it comes to when people genuinely want me like that so idk for certain if he liked me but he fs was acting like it. Basically he would just be flirty the typical stuff and his friends would tease us if we were spotted together but he didn’t even seem annoyed by it yk?

However, me being me I FUMBLED SOOO BAD. Like genuinely i have never fumbled anything more bad in my life because i was so angry over something he did that was so little. Literally fumbled more than y/n with xiao like it was TERRIBLE. He became so distant and petty because of it that i genuinely felt so bad that i apologized like a week later because i could tell he was hurt by it. Like he was really hurt to the point where he unfollowed me AGAIN on insta but also unadded me on snap and unfollowed me on TIKTOK (idk if he still has me added on fortnite tbh).

Also when he unfollowed me the first time, he didn’t remove me as a follower and he only unfollowed my main (i have a main account and spam account) Which is why i also believe that Susan made him unfollow me the first time because she also unfollowed me on instagram during that time (i forgot to mention it mb). However, this time when he unfollowed me on everything (including my spam account) he made sure to remove me as a follower which i believe was him being extra hurt by my actions. Yk?

Anyways, before he unfollowed me on tiktok he reposted like something about being upset by someone so tbh i think it was about me. But anyways!! I tried apologizing and he didn’t even respond till a week later. When he did respond, he was all like “you’re good i’m not upset” like trying to be nonchalant about it so i still felt bad and said i didn’t want things to be awkward between us. He didn’t respond at all (it had been 2 weeks at this point) and then like last week i posted a pic of myself on my story (yes i may or may not post thirst traps on the ig i have to bag a baddie somehow). Point is, he viewed my story. He wasn’t following me so i was surprised to see him in my story views. I was so happy because i was like “omgg he must be thinking about me he clearly misses me he wants me again” LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER.

The other day i opened instagram to see a mutual friend posting HIM AND SUSAN HUGGING WITH THE CAPTION “siblings or dating?” LIKE WHAT. I was so heated because i ranted about this man to my friends and said how guilty i was for fumbling him and whatever and he made me look like an idiot posted up with a girl. Who btw, leads him on every single time he goes back to her (even his own friends make fun of him for it) so i was FLOORED. I was genuinely so angry that it gave me a headache because in those 2 weeks he’s talking to her again? I don’t think they’re dating because she’s always rejecting ever being official with him. Like he was viewing my stories (literally last week) after unfollowing me and stuff so the fact that he was with another girl like that made me upset. Ik what i did to him was kinda mean and i regret doing that but at least i didn’t run off with someone else who makes me look like a dumbass.

Moral of the story, men ain’t shit. My friends all thought he was ugly (he’s like mid at best), he’s not very photogenic AND he’s 5’7. Pick a struggle. Do not take shit from a man who plays fortnite. Ty for coming to my ted talk and reading this mess!!

[rufpup47]

TRIGGER/CRINGE WARNING: cringey angst and a lot of annoying yapping about character analysis and character writing.

If you’re naturally very impatient I suggest scrolling off because there is a lot of text to read. I’m a huge nerd and I really enjoy character analysis. I’m not sorry

>:3

I’m bored so I’m just gonna do an extremely small doodle dump of SaD Springtrap stuff.

Now for the explanation and analysis.

DISCLAIMER!!! This is all my PERSONAL OPINION!!! I’m not trying to change people’s minds about stuff. I’m just sharing my thoughts.

Sooo… basically I like to put a lot of unnecessary angst on this dude lmfao. In my continuation/au, I wrote Springtrap to be depressed, anxious and sensitive because I wanted to make him act like he feels guilty about his past.

In the actual comic he sometimes feels guilty about his past and then he switches to not feeling bad about it and is instead proud of it. I noticed a pattern of him going back and forth. tbh when I first saw the comic I was very confused on where the direction his character was going. Like- “are you redeeming him or are you going to continue portraying him as a villain??” His situation kinda reminded me of an anti hero. It still confused me a lot at first though lol.

So basically the short answer is that;

I rewrote Springtrap in my au to actually show remorse because I thought it didn’t make any sense for him to switch back and forth from evil to good. Unless he was intended to be an anti hero or something idk.

I also wrote Springtrap this way partly because I personally thought that he can’t be extremely remorseful at the same time as proud of being evil. It just didn’t make sense to me. I could honestly go on for hours about how his character writing kinda sucks. So here’s how I see the rules for character arcs;

For example, if you want to make a character have a redemption arc, first, they are completely on the evil side. Then, throughout the development and the story, they slowly move closer to the good side by constantly contemplating their evil choices and gradually start to feel guilty and regretful about it. Here is where the mistake occurs;

You can’t make the character turn good, but at the same time, making them feel proud of being a villain.

For a villain arc this is vise versa.

If you reached the end of this post and actually read it, I genuinely thank you for listening to my thoughts and opinions. I would love to hear yours!

This took so long to write help-

Edit: I just realized I spelled “Awkward” wrong lmaooo.

[chicago-poet]

idk i went back and forth on whether to post this bc i dont make a lot of posts and idk why i expect people to care but also i do want to tell someone and have other people know so.

super long confusing musings on my sexuality and stuff under the cut. its long so u dont have to read it but id like it if u could like the post if u wanted please n thank u 💖💖

like ok so for a long time now ive id'ed as an ace lesbian and felt at home with that and now bc of circumstances and reasons ive started thinking again.

but a part of me has always felt so disconnected from other lesbians like they all understood something i didnt and i loved the solidarity and community of being a lesbian but i didnt really understand such a big part of it. wrt being in love and sex and all. like i think i confused wanting that closeness and intimacy as being the same thing as feeling it.

and like i guess the turning point of that is that like i do want companionship and someone in my life but the way i want it is never the way other people do even through casual dating etc like sex and romance...the way i want those things are so specific to me and its feels like a venn diagram thats a circle and no one else is ever going to share that with me. maybe someday but its such a slim window to fit into that i cant expect it of other people right now.

but ive been reading abour qprs bc thats another thing ive been super critical on in the past (and i still kinda cringe hearing it) and i mean on one hand qweerplatonic feels like one of those tumblrisms thats code for "my discord relationship" and i feel like when you have a community based on a lack of something people fill the vacuum with like. fandoms and strawman comics. like im adult that pays taxes i dont have squishes on anyone.

but like that aside. i do get it. i like my independence and not having to compromise on things and it would be nice to have a life partner who is similar in those things but still wants the emotional intimacy and exclusivity and commitment of a partner. and qpr is like the best way to explain what i need to other people ig

and in that way i finally understood that like. being acearo is a very specific way to want a connection with someone and u do need words for that so u can find other people like u bc most people dont feel like that and its not wrong to want words to explain what u want to other people and if qpr is the best way to phrase it then i guess im stuck with it.

and then its like so do i feel attraction??? have i ever? but im still gay?? how can i be gay and also acearo? but it makes sense to me bc like i want a partner someday and it is more than a friendship. like in the past ive had very intense girl friendships that blurred the line where we would cuddle and hold hands and talk abot getting married and everyone negged us about dating/thought we were dating and ive always been the one to shy away from it when it came down to finally confront it.

but then when it comes time to say if were gfs i just....dodge the question forever. and i feel guilty about stringing ppl along like that bc i know they want something more than that and im ignoring it. like ive always been happiest in that gray undefined zone thats more than friendship but not quite dating.

like ive always been free with affection and then uncomfortable when someone (understantably) wants it to mean something more. ive always been the one whos not as into the other person while theyre enamoured with me. like my ex just used to gaze at me and say they love me and id be like .....thanks....you too! bc i did love them and i thought we wanted the same things. but it was complicated.

ALL THIS is to say that if i do enter in some kind of life partnership somehow it would still be with a woman or non binary person most likely bc i feel most comfortable with them and still dont like men in that way. so im still gay?

but u know. i identified as bi before as a lesbian before and then an ace lesbian so right now im in a phase of my life where aromantic asexual lesbian is the best way to describe me and im okay with that. it doesnt have to make sense to anyone else but me. it can be contradictory and confusing and "incorrect" but like if thats what i feel descibes me best then thats how im gonna be. its lonely but its also freeing because at least now i realize that i know what i want and i can have what i want if i meet the right person someday.

flowers for u if u read this far down💐💐💐💐💐💐 thank u to anyone who read any of that.

[thefaultinoursprinkles]

I like. I need to process everything that’s been going on and I need to talk about how I’m feeling to be able to do that but I don’t.. want to I guess. I don’t want to bother people with my issues and I feel silly talking about how I feel. So then I think that I should go back to therapy so I have someone to talk to but I honestly really don’t want to unless it’s someone with a PhD because at this point I have as much education and training as a “mental health practitioner” and I’m about 2 years of internships away from an “LMFT” or other “licensed therapist”.

and that’s the other thing like, I’ve been in therapy for a long time, I’m a psych major, I did DBT, I feel like I’ve gotten everything I can out of “therapy” basically. So then like pursuing therapy just to talk through my emotions feels stupid and like a pointless waste of money to me. But then I go back and forth like would it actually help? Am I avoiding this out of shame or not wanting to damage my pride? Or as a form of self harm? Or do i genuinely think I won’t get anything out of it? Idk.

a big part of it too is that a lot of the stressors like with money and stuff are temporary and therapy isn’t going to help them. Like not to talk highly of myself but I’m pretty self actualized and the majority of my problems/stressors stem from external factors like not having enough money or my fiancee trying to kill themselves or close friends dying or work being stressful, which like therapy isn’t exactly going to solve any of those problems. It’s just supposed to teach you the skills to deal with those kind of things or change them or tolerate them which like. I already have. So again, pointless.

Even then, the problems i do have outside of external stuff are ones that I’m pretty confident cannot be treated through therapy. Like I really think a lot of my issues stem from unmediated adhd, and like I have skills that I use and I have work arounds and hacks and whatever else that are supposed to help me manage it better but it doesn’t work. like I take the notes and I track the things and I put trash cans everywhere and have other people remind me of stuff like. I can get by. but every fucking day of my life I am so overwhelmed by everything at work and at home and in relationships and I feel guilty and embarrassed that I can’t do the things that should be so easy.

Like every few days to every few weeks I find myself exasperated and thinking “WHY CANT I JUST DO IT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. THIS IS SO SIMPLE. WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ME” and like on some level I know it’s because I have symptoms syndrome and it affects me but I feel like there’s nothing to do.

like I’m doing all the stuff I’m supposed to do, I’m doing all the stuff that therapists and counselors have told me to do and I’m doing all the stuff that is recommended in the DSM V and I stay up to date on the current research in the causes, management, and treatment of specifically adhd but also generally all psych topics because I’m just genuinely interested in them so I read peer reviewed journals for fun.

And there are some things like. Idk exercise. And I’m like oh I should exercise then I’m like well not “should” but I want to exercise because I know it makes me feel better and it’s been proven to help with focus and clarity as well as alleviate symptoms of depression. And then I find myself being like “I can’t I can’t I can’t” so they I think about it. Why can’t I? And it’s like well, I don’t have enough time, I’m always tired, blah blah blah. And I think really the root is that I don’t want to spend “my” time doing something I don’t like doing and I don’t have any way to do the exercises I actually like (like biking or swimming).

So then I get back around to like okay we’ll I’m not actually doing EVERYTHING I can I’m not exercising or watching my diet, I could be doing more. So then I try to plan out time to do it and I set reminders and then I fail and fail and fail and fail and give up.

And it’s like what is therapy going to do? I know they’re gonna tell me to sleep and eat and exercise and be mindful. I know I need to do those things and I want to do those things but I CANT and I don’t know WHY.

AND THEN I loop back around to like what the fuck is wrong with me I know I need to do these things I want to fucking do these things I LIKE doing these things SO WHY CANT I JUST DO IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME and it starts all over.

And how do you explain that to someone? I’m objectively successful. I’m well educated. I have a high paying job. I don’t get into extreme legal or financial trouble. I have lots of very supportive and close friends and family. I don’t have the “right” things wrong with me to have people understand or recognize the struggle going on behind the scenes to do any of it. Like I know what to do, I do most of it, and it’s, by all accounts but mine, working well because I’m able to live independently and maintain relationships and hold a job and even get promoted at said job. So to any therapist I talk to it’s like. “Why are you here?” And I have to explain like yes I know I’m making it work I’m doing impressive things but I’m DYING I’m constantly stressed and overwhelmed and anxious and on the brink of a panic attack. I spend hours of my day staring at wall screaming inside my head about all the stuff I have to do but unable to do it. I’m smart enough to be really good at doing what I need to do to get by or knowing where to focus my efforts but I constantly feel like I’m in an out of control car spinning out with no brakes.

and I feel so stuck because I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t think there’s anything else I can realistically do to have a better handle on things, this is just the reality. Like I feel like I just need to accept that this is how it’s going to be and this is how it’s going to feel because I truly do not think there is anything that could possibly help me get out of this internal mess.

and of course, then I start thinking like, that’s pretty defeatist, am I giving up before I even try? So then I feel like, even more than before, i just need to try harder and do better and get further because it’s my own lazy ridiculous fault that im in this position in the first place.

[dollwrites]

HI BABE please take all the time you need I know you're probably sooo busy right now!!! I'm so sorry about your old page you didn't deserve that, but I'm so so happy you decided to stay and make a new one I couldn't even imagine coming on here anymore if you weren't here 😭

THEY ARE TALKIING ABOUT BANNING TIKTOK! Unfortunately our government REALLY wants to ban tiktok they had a hearing with the CEO of tiktok and everything about it, and they're also trying to ban vpns so we cant get to tiktok that way either 😒 it's so annoying I would be so crushed lol I have hundreds of edits and stuff

I DID GET TO SEE DEMON SLAYER OMG IT WAS AMAZING I mostly just went to see the tengen/gyutaro fight on the big screen tbh lol. They only showed the first episode of the new season but I will say koku looked and sounded VERY cool he was super mysterious I'm very excited for you to see in like a week 👀 hate to say it but muzan looked BEAUTIFUL and of course akaza did too, but as someone who hasn't read the manga I was SHOCKED at just how HUGE Doma is like the stature on that man is insane I was expecting him to be kinda skinny and lanky but NOPE 👀 Also mitsuri I- 😳 the bi in me cannot handle it I just love her 😭 like was there a certain scene that was just brazen fan service, yes. But did she look gorgeous YES. I'm also kinda excited to see more of Genya his character design is so cool to me. I'm very excited to see what you think when the new season comes out 👀

Also PLEASE write more diabolik lovers!!! Diabolik lovers is one of the only animes I consistently rewatch I just cant help it it's like a guilty pleasure lol. It has so much potential for dark content like idk if it's just me but I love reading about blood/my blood getting drank etc lol so it fits perfectly. I also just love the trope of being forced to live with them and the whole gothic vampire vibes 🖤

I didn't want to send many tiktoks since ik you're probably so busy with the new blog so I'm just gonna include two diabolik lovers ones lol 🥰

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRceDUYr/

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRceukvJ/

I'm so excited for the new things you're going to post, I hope you're doing well 😘 -jjk anon

BABY YES HI

First of all I’m so sorry all the shit happened before I could answer your big ask I WAS SO UPSET 😭

OH NO THEY SHOULDNT DO THAT. I mean I pretty much exclusively use tiktok to watch thirst edits of anime hotties BUT STILL I wonder why the gov doesn’t like tiktok???

if they do ban it we’ll have to send each other fan art back and forth 😭😭

YES DEMON SLAYER IM SO EXCITED I’ve been getting so hype about finally seeing Koku baby animated my big big big warrior man 😵‍💫😵‍💫 BRO I SAW SOME LEAKED CLIPS AND PICS IM NOT A MUZAN GIRLIE BUT HE LOOKED V V GOOD and douma is fucking MASSIVE !!! I haven’t read the manga either but one of my besties has and I did make her ( begged 💚 ) to give me all the spoilers which is how I knew about koku in the first place SKKSKSK SO IM EXCITED

YOU LIKE DL TOO ?? YES WE SHARE ONE BRAIN I SWEAR. DL would be a guilty pleasure anime if I possessed even 1 ounce of shame but I do not so I just openly love those slutty slutty vampire men. I must know who your favorites are 🤨🤨 YOU KINDA GIVE SUBARU AND YUMA STAN VIBES but I can also see you being into ayato also THE FORCED DOMESTICATIONNNNN ONE OF MY FAVES WE REALLY DO HAVE ONE BRAIN SKSKSKKSK

THE TIKTOKKKKSSSS OMG YOU SEND ME THE TWO BABIES ??? IM GONNA SCREAM kanato is my little meow meow the urge to be his mommy ( bc his real mom is….. ya know 💀 ) and let him drink from me while I pet his hair is OVERWHELMING and AZUSA SOFT BOY I’m shaking trembling I love those TikToks thank you for the snack babe 💚💚💚

It is kinda hectic trying to transfer everything 😅 BUT I always want to make time for you when I can !!

I have some for you too 🥺🥺

listen… I’m so excited to write that upper moon reverse harem au I’ve been HOLDING ON TO FOR THE LONGEST TIME it’s finally almost time to release these fics and Douma is going to be a MENACE to our poor reader

I SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY SAVED IT THINKING OF YOU

I genuinely cannot believe my FAVORITE va was cast as the deadbeat dilf I am going rabid

I WISH I HAD MORE FOR YOU BUT SINCE THE MOVE IVE NOT BEEN ON TIKTOK THAT MUCH

[skeppsbrott]

Unfortunately the post you reblogged about the perception of autism as something only cool people have was written by a terf. (I agreed with the post so I checked out op’s blog, got bad vibes, searched “trans” and found ugly stuff real fast)

Hi there anon!

So I've been waffling back and forth about how to reply to this but here is (sort of) where I have ended up:

Terfery is bogus. I don't need to elaborate on this. Terfery was embarrassing, destructive, self-cannibalising and reactionary when I first encountered it in like, 2012. In 2023, amidst a quite frankly astounding and terrifying backlash, even moreso. Socially isolating terfs from fellow feminists, activists, and (possibly) queers is a legitimate tactic of activism and I think it is a quite effective one. You treat our siblings, friends and allies like that while calling yourself a feminist? Go take a long walk off a short pier, mate.

And yet...

I do not really want to recieve messages like this.

I understand the impulse and I think the fact that you go out of your way to send me this underlines something important - we have a culture on this corner of the Tumblr that terfs ain't got no friends. It is not controversial to be like "yo fuck feminists that oppose trans liberation and have a gender-essentialist worldview" and that's unequivocally a good thing. I am glad that you trust my politics enough to send me this. I am glad that my politics shine through enough that I would obviously support your anonymous suggestion (except it is not a suggestion, you just gave me this information to, idk, fill out a bingo card and draw my own conclusions with, but nonetheless).

And yet, I do not really want to recieve messages like this.

I gave up social media activism many years ago. It made me miserable. It made me miserable to be around. It made my spaces of respit miserable and it meant I was always fucking on and I am not saying I am a great activist now but at some point you realize you'll just burn yourself out on that shit when instead you could like, idk, talk kindly to young queers who haven't worked out their internalised shit yet and help people come out of their freshly cracked eggs and support your older queer friends in their quests for parenthood in this wretched world. Make sure that anyone in your social circle knows that if they fuck around with gender essentialism they'll find out real soon but not because you make a big deal out of hating terfs but because you are loud and proud about having declared the old ways of doing gender over and done with. Hopefully?

I don't know. If you are my friend or you've followed me for a long time or we're mutuals or whatever and you see me behave in a way that makes you feel unsafe on my blog I think it is fair to reach out. "Hey, Skeppsbrott, this person you reblog a lot of art from is a quite vocal terf on their main blog and I really wish you wouldn't". "Hey, Skeppsbrott, I think you are being way too charitable to the debate happening on that post you just reblogged. This is my read, I hope you'll reconsider."

That seems actionable to me. Like yeah I probably should pay attention to the politics of people who very often end up in my reblog chains! I definitely should pay attention to the changing rethoric used by gender essentialists! I do not, however, want to spend energy wondering whether every post I reblog might possibly be made by a terf and feel guilty if I perhaps missed one. I also struggle with the anon ask as something that demands a response but which also demands it publicly. Would you have noticed if I removed the post but never replied to your ask? Would you get suspicious if I never DID reply to your ask? I guess part of why making it an anon ask is that the act of condemning terfery in an ask is more potent than removing a jokey and a little mean but nonetheless fair post about autism that got like three hundered notes. No one really suffers from that post, that's kind of the conundrum here. Either way, I am not here to scorch the earth, but then again -

"Hey, Skeppsbrott, this person you reblogged a post from is trying to become a tumblr funnyman so that they can infiltrate more people with transphobic propaganda"? Yeah. I guess that is not so different from what I commented above.

Perhaps at the end of the day I am just really, very, terribly equipped for social isolation tactics. I just can't really bring myself to do it. Call it trauma or poor constitution or whatever. It just brings me this great, deep sadness, where I look at who I was and can't help but wonder what I would have gotten lost in if there hadn't been people who looked me sternly in the eye and said "that's fucked up. Get out now before I too grow to hate you".

Or maybe I am just a coward. That is entirely possible as well. Even quite likely.

Thank you, anon, genuinely. I appreciate it. But maybe next time, don't?

xx

[thescarletwitchsapprentice]

Forever Home (Yandere!Platonic!Wanda Maximoff/Yandere!Platonic!Scarlet Witch x female!autistic!chaos magic user!ADHD!young adult!reader)

Summary: Your desperate escape attempt from a superwitch seems to come to a standstill thanks to two of your greatest enemies; guilt and splinters.

(CW: Injury, sensory overload, endless house, idk what else, being trapped I guess?)

Author’s Note: There aren’t enough platonic fics.

The house seems endless as you rush through it, trying to find a way out, though you have no doubt that that’s intentional.

Your heart’s beating like mad as you slide around every corner, trying to hide. The anxiety is palpable for you; at only 24, you’re being hunted down, but not by the law. Instead it’s by a woman who’s deemed you her little sister; and to make matters worse, said woman has powerful magic and is corrupted by an evil book.

A case of the Mondays, am I right?

Everything seems too loud to you; your bare feet on the floor, (as you decided to try to leave without your shoes so that they wouldn't make too much noise) your hyperventilating, even the tears seem to have sound now. You need to find somewhere to hide, someplace dark or at least dim, someplace away from your guilt.

Soon you spy a door left open, you don’t even think twice before rushing inside and shutting it. You keep going, rushing down a flight of stairs; your hair only adds to the sensory overload as it brushes against your face and even sticks to it from the tears.

“When I said I wanted someone to take care of me and help me train this new fucking magic that just appeared out of nowhere, this is not what I mean,” you pant as you look around for a place to hide.

That’s another advantage she has over you; she knows her magic, you don’t know yours.

You dash inside of a nearby closet, shut the door, crawl as far back as you can, hide behind a wall of stuff, and sit on the floor, rocking back and forth; the lump in your throat is difficult to get rid of. You feel guilty for trying to leave her, but you also don’t like losing your freedom. You’ve been so scared to tell her, though.

Your stomach churns as you try not to cry out. She gets more protective of you when you cry and if she finds you and sees you with tears in your eyes, she’ll never leave your side. Oh, God.....why did she have to see all of those fucking memories? Yeah, your inner child might be bruised up, but there’s therapy for that, right?

Suddenly you hear footsteps and your brain freezes up. Part of you wants to rush into her arms and cry, but the logical part of you is telling you to keep your fucking mouth shut. But you feel so sick, partially from running, partially from guilt, partially from fear. And then you feel a sort of tickling on your bare feet, but also some pain.

Feeling over your feet, you realize that they’re covered in splinters. Wincing, you try to pull them out yourself, but suddenly the splinter somehow transfers to your thumb, getting in it fairly well.

And that’s when the cup spills over.

You cry out the loudest you ever have, the sound almost shaking the closet. Immediately the door opens and in rushes the person who’s been pursuing you.

“Little sister!”

Wanda kneels next to you, using her magic as a light source. As if on instinct, you practically rush into her, grappling onto her as you weep. She hugs you in return, rubbing your back.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you whimper over and over again.

Wanda gently shushes you.

“It’s alright,” she assures you. “I’m just glad you’re safe, little sister.”

“M-my feets and thumb....they huwt,” you sniffle, feeling like a scared child.

“I know, those splinters....they’re big meanies, huh?” she asks.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get those pulled out. And then we can cuddle. Would you like that, little sister?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Standing up, still hugging you and rubbing your back, Wanda gently flies out of the room with you. It was honestly a stroke of luck that she found you. If those splinters weren’t there, she might’ve not been able to find you.

She brings you to your shared bedroom and places you on your bed.

“Why did you try to run away, anyhow?” she asks you.

“I’m scared of losing my freedom,” you confess.

Wanda’s heart melts; she knows that you’re being honest, having major trouble with lies and telling them. Well, except when you’re fine, she knows you sometimes lie about that, but you don’t lie to her out of malice. She gives you your stuffed unicorn.

“This is gonna hurt a little, okay?” she warns you.

“A-are you mad at me?” you whimper as she begins to use her magic to pull out the splinters, starting with the thumb one.

She waits until she pulls out the splinter she’s currently working on to answer.

“No, I’m not mad, little sister,” she confesses gently as she continues to pull them out. “I know that all of this is such a sudden change, but I want to help you feel at home here. I’m glad that you were honest with me about why you tried to run off as well. But I promise that I’ll open up more of this place to you once you’ve adjusted here. I don’t want to overwhelm you with so many changes all at once.”

“But....what about my freedom in the world out there?” you ask innocently.

Wanda pauses for a moment before getting up and sitting on the bed next to you; gently she pets your head.

“You don’t need that world,” she tells you. “It’s not a world that an angel like you belongs in, a world that doesn’t deserve you. All it’s done is hurt you, just because of who you are. But I won't. No, I love you as you are, little sister, and I always will.”

Hearing this, you smile. You don’t care anymore that she’s found you. She’ll be able to protect you and love you. You won’t have to worry about being alone anymore.

“I love you, big sis,” you sniffle as you lean in and hug her.

She smiles.

“I love you too, little sister,” she replies before doing a little quick spell, one that you don’t notice. She lets go after a bit. “Now let’s finish getting those mean old splinters out.”

She manages to get the rest of them out and disinfect both your foot and thumb before bandaging them up. The two of you cuddle as you watch The Dick Van Dyke Show, with you being completely unaware that the spell Wanda cast, as one of the main parts of it, made it so that you’ll never be able to leave this place. It will always morph so that any future escape attempts will lead right back to her or, if she’s out getting groceries or something, back to the bedroom you both share. It also stopped both of you from aging and also assured immortality, so that you two can be a family even beyond the end of time.

After all, this is your forever home.

And your big sister is ready and willing to make sure that that fact sticks in your head.

“I’m all that you need, little sister...”

[corysmiles]

I need more tiny streamer AU bench trio content!!! Esp Tommy and ranboo specifically. Like Tommy is hanging out with ranboo and he knows he’s his friend, but seeing how tall he is even compared to the other humans makes him a bit nervous, especially because He and Tommy have always been so playfully rude to eachother, I feel like tubbo n ranboo would notice this and something would happen to fully ease Tommy’s mind (perhaps another life saving by ranboo?)

Idk but the idea of Tommy being afraid of Ranboo in this au hits right so here ya go! :]

Acrophobia

Little Streamer AU

cw//language

——————————

Tommy wasn’t scared of Ranboo. He couldn’t be.

Just because the teen was a solid head above even the tallest humans he knew and he always joked about disliking Tommy. He wasn’t actually...he couldn’t actually be afraid of him.

Right?

He tried to convince himself of that but every time Ranboo tried to pick him up or talked to him out of nowhere he had to suppress a flinch. His voice was just a little too loud and his hands just a little too big for Tommy’s comfort. Not that he would actually ever hurt him, at least Tommy hoped so.

So it was just his luck that Ranboo noticed on the second day of Vidcon. They had just finished a small meet and greet and when Ranboo had bent down to pick up Tommy the tiny flinched away. Ranboo’s hand hesitated and when Tommy realized what had happened he laughed it off. Climbing into Ranboo’s hands the two didn’t acknowledge what happened until lunch.

“Hey uh Tommy, can we talk?”

Tommy turned to the taller human with his mouth stuffed with food. The rest of their friends had mostly left already, heading off to their hotel rooms for the night. “Mhm yus whats up?”

“I uh-wait maybe not here,” Ranboo offered his hand to the tiny who had to focus on not moving away, “Can you come with me, if you want.”

Tommy swallowed his food and looked nervously at the hand splayed out in front of him. He was small for a tiny bit even then he’d never met a human that tall before. He didn’t even think he was at tall as Ranboo’s thumb.

“Oh uh yeah,” Tommy laughed nervously.

As carefully as he could with his eyes not leaving Ranboo’s fingers he crawled up onto his palm. When he was satisfied he wasn’t about to be squished he let the human pick him up.

“Where are we goin big man?” Tommy asked when he felt the human walk.

“Just somewhere more private.”

Immediately Tommy felt his breath catch in his throat. Ranboo wouldn’t actually hurt him right? They argued but they were friends or at least Tommy hoped so. Part of him wanted to scream for help until Tubbo or Wilbur came to find him but before he could light hit his eyes and he was met with Ranboo’s uncovered face staring at him.

“Sorry thought it would be better if we could talk like one on one yaknow,” Ranboo sighed.

Carefully he shook Tommy off his hand and onto a smooth surface. Glancing around, Tommy realized they were in a small bathroom with Ranboo already taking up half the space.

“So uh don’t mean to rush you or anything boss man but what’s up?”

Ranboo sighed and ran his hand back through his hair.

“Tommy I’m gonna ask you something and I need you to be honest with me okay?”

Tommy thought maybe he was joking but when he looked up the serious look on Ranboo’s face said otherwise.

Tommy gulped down his fear and nodded at the tall human. “I mean yeah I won’t fucking lie.”

Ranboo’s hands pulled at eachother nervously as the teen took a deep breath.

“Tommy did I...did I do something wrong? Like did I mess up?”

Tommy was taken back, he titled his head at Ranboo but the other teen seemed...guilty.

“What no,” Tommy exclaimed, “Why the fuck would you think that?”

Ranboo just hummed and knelt down so his eyes were level with Tommy’s. Even though it was a sign of respect Tommy still felt weird seeing just how huge everything was on Ranboo.

Tommy was barely the size of the teen’s nose for fucks sake.

“You just- you flinch and stuff all the time, and that would be fine yaknow! I have no clue how scary all this is for you, but it’s just me...I’ve watched and it’s no one else, even like, I don’t know, Sapnap was fine but when I do anything you just seem so....scared.”

As Ranboo’s words tumbled to a halt the room fell silent; the only sound from Ranboo’s worried breaths.

“Tommy did I do something to scare you? Or like hurt you in any way? I’m not around people like you often, so I don’t know if I messed up...I really hope I didn’t but if I did I’ll fix it I swear.”

“Hey Jesus, it’s fine your fine,” Tommy interrupted and immediately Ranboo’s eyes were glued to his.

“It’s just I don’t know, your tall? I guess? That sounds fucking stupid, I’m not a pussy I swear but like it’s just a lot,” Tommy muttered.

“I’m used to being like small, obviously, but with you it makes me feel...I don’t even know. Its so much...It’s not good.”

Ranboo frowned and backed away from the tiny.

“Oh, dude I’m sorry I didn’t even really think about that and I’ve just been-“

“Hey hey no, don’t fucking apologize man you didn’t do shit,” Tommy snapped, “You’re a good guy, I just need to get used to it I guess...and I’m sorry too. Yaknow?”

“Sorry about what?” Ranboo asked softly.

“For like fighting with you all the time and shit; I hope you know I do like you.”

Ranboo let a small smile spread across his face with a nod. “Yeah, I know... I hope you know I also do like you.”

“Good great,” Tommy laughed nervously before stepping to the edge of the sink.

“I just...I’m sorry man. I don’t know I’ve been worried this whole time that like you’d get mad at me or some shit for always being such a dick or something, but that sounds stupid now that I say it.”

Ranboo scoffed, “Yeah it is pretty stupid.”

Tommy pouted but before he could say anything Ranboo continued, “I’d never hurt you yaknow, even if we do argue. You are my friend Tommy.”

“Yeah...thanks Ranboo. Youre my friend too-even if you are a bitch,” Tommy laughed, and finally the tension drained out of the room. And as Tommy chuckled it was like a dam broke until they were both wheezing with laughter.

After a minute Ranboo nudged Tommy with his finger. To Ranboo’s delight he didn’t flinch away. “Wanna get back to the group, probably waiting on us.”

Tommy nodded and before Ranboo could pull his finger away he trapped the human in a hug. Ranboo smiled down at the small boy and wiggled the finger he was latched onto back and forth.

“Thanks Boob man.”

Ranboo laughed and jokingly stuffed Tommy into his front pocket. He heard muffled yells, but he ignored them to put his mask back on and leave the bathroom. Their friends were waiting for them.

And Tommy would get back at him later for sure.

[vagrantblvrd]

The AU where Anakin doesn’t dramatically die on the second Death Star, right?

Luke is like, well, medical treatment is a thing. Comes in hand-y, get it dad? Hand-y?

Anyway.

Luke ~sneaks about getting Anakin medical treatment, some nonsense about “Hey, so. How does one treat electrocution? Asking for a friend,” and other such things.

Some doctor somewhere being, “Oh, well, if it’s for a friend...” and then gives Luke all the information and whatnot he’ll need, and also does this friend of his need life support equipment???

Anyway.

For Plot Reasons Anakin doesn’t die over Endor and Luke is trying to get supplies - he just got this rad new shuttle to fly - the Emperor won’t mind if he borrows it - oh, man. Is it too soon?

Anyway.

One of the Rebels who was on the mission to destroy the shield generator is like, “Vader’s dead, is he?”

Because Luke said so, and also the funeral pyre with his armor and hahaha, why would he ask that?

Weird, right?

Friend I found on the Death Star being held a a prisoner for many years who I then rescued because hero, don’t you think that’s a weird question to ask?

Anakin who is hooked up to many life-saving machines until Luke can get him somewhere to get replacements for the Vader suit as what the Emperor fried while trying to kill them is just.

“Hello, Rex.”

And Luke being, omg, DAD, at least pretend to go along with Luke’s terrible ruse for like. A whole minute, pls.

This fraught moment where Luke isn’t sure what’s going to happen because clearly these two know one another and there’s so much anger and hurt and betrayal in Rex and his dad is this sucking pit of shame and guilt and misery, self-loathing and -

“OKAY, WELL. Unless you’re about to kill him - us - we have places to be. Specifically not here.”

Because everything is celebrations and relief and so on? But also Imperial ships and forces and Alliance forces and so much could go wrong so fast and Luke would like to get his dad somewhere safe before people figure out his deception and brand him as a traitor or whatever and anyway

Does Rex wanna come with?

He gets looks from Anakin and Rex at that and shrugs because hey, no one’s dead yet.

And aside from a few notable exceptions dead people can’t answer whatever questions others might have for him, and anyway, anyway.

Rex sighs, this tired little smile on his face as he looks at Anakin. “He’s definitely your kid.”

Which.

What? But it gets an equally tired smile from Anakin, this sadness to it but also this flicker of pride and Luke escapes to start the pre-flight before he cries, again, and anyway.

Rex joins him up front and offers up somewhere they can go. Friends of his - might not be glad to see Anakin, but they’ll listen to Rex, and so off they go to, idk, someplace clone troopers set up a place for themselves.

(Because I need there to be more of those bastards out there after the mess of Order 66 and other nonsense okay.)

They get Anakin set up with new life-support suit or whatever, one that’s not horrible and awful and a goddamned gift from the monster who created Darth Vader, and anyway. (I may have feelings on the matter.)

Luke avoids calls from Leia and Han and everyone if he can, and when he can’t tells them he’s fine, really, just. Jedi stuff. Feels guilty as hell but he knows Leia can’t handle he truth of it just yet and technically it kind of is Jedi stuff,because Anakin.

Ben visits every so often and Luke pretends he doesn’t know his father was crying afterwards, but after a while he’s so relieved he could cry when he realizes his father didn’t cry in talking to Ben.

(He does, though. Luke cries so much, but conveniently wherever they ended up is in the rainy season and Rex just pats him on the shoulder when Luke comes in and gives him a solemn nod, and anyway. Yes.)

It’s like. Not Done, this whole Vader Thing of Anakin’s, he’s done so many terrible things and all that? But he finds a way to make peace with that, or whatever the proper term is I don’t even know at this point, okay, just.

You know.

Also, though, also.

All the information he knows, or knows how to get his - or any Alliance Intelligence agents - hands on.

Things he gives to Luke or whoever to pass on to the right hands, help the Alliance, and then the New Republic root out the Imperial remnants before they can pose a threat to the fragile peace being built in the Empire’s fall, and so on.

Luke just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and tells anyone who questions where he got the information it’s from the prisoner he rescued and so forth and so on. (Rex backs him up, and his position in the Alliance’s ranks lends Luke more credibility, and anyway. Yes.)

Eventually though, Luke can’t just hide out for forever with his dad and his dad’s old war friends, and also Leia would hunt him to the end of the galaxy if she doesn’t see him soon, and.

Anakin more or less boots him out of the little homestead or compound or whatever it is where they are, tells him to come visit but really, get out, son.

So Luke does.

Tells Leia he’s fine, he’ll tell her what everything was about and such, but. Later, you know? Later.

She lets it go because other business to deal with and anyway, Luke’s gallivanting about and gets ambushed by a Togruta with twin lightsabers who nearly takes his head off before she asks how Rex is doing and has Anakin gotten over himself yet, and also, Luke might want towork on his form a bit.

Which, you know, hi, hello, who the hell are you? But more politely worded and Luke gives Ahsoka the commlink number? address?? whatever??? to contact Anakin.

Hopefully she understands why he didn’t just give her the coordinates to their location, what with nearly taking off Luke’s head and all.

Ahsoka laughs, and does the shoulder pat thing Rex does to him, says, “You’re your dad’s kid alright,” which.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

Anyway.

More adventuring about, Ashoka ambushing him every so often. Payback, she tells him, for everything Anakin ever put her through - before Everything -  she’s quick to clarify, tired smile on her face and Luke understands, but dear God is he so tired of seeing these people who are so important to him looking like that?

ANYWAY.

Some more adventuring about and then this SOS call through the Force and an Imperial light cruiser and this sad panda Mandalorian and.

“Okay, you? You’re coming with.”

And since Luke doesn’t actually have a spot for his school yet and he doesn’t know where this Mandalorian calls home he’s like. “I know a place.”

Anakin and Rex share this look when the shuttle Luke borrowed lands at their little hideaway and Luke comes out with this tiny green gremlin kid toddling after him and this sad panda Mandalorian trailing behind them, and really, the family resemblance has never been stronger, you know?

ANYWAY.

Din and Grogu and Luke trying to figure out how to juggle this whole...Thing.

Anakin never feels comfortable giving Luke advice, because talk about bad role models?

But.

Anakin was raised to follow the old Jedi Order’s rules and whatnot and Vader came of it. (Maybe not the sole reason, but the Order was definitely a factor.)

Also, also.

Anakin doting on Grogu and being his best partner in crime - :D smile when Din comes looking for his tiny green gremlin kid and finds him with Luke’s dad and they’ve both been Up To Something but there’s never any proof, and anyway, yes.

(Also, also. Luke and Anakin bonding over working on this old speeder that’s never run right, or Luke’s X-wing - and okay, yes, maybe someone finds an old Y-wing or something and there are “training exercises” in which everyone takes bets on which Skywalker wins this time and Luke actually hears his dad laugh for the first time and it’s pretty awesome okay.)

But also Boba Fett and Fennec and the whanot finding them and Drama and Boba being like, “Always hated Vader anyway,” and Luke being like !!! but also huh, and Din is like NO.

Because the whole reason Boba and Fennec are even there is because of Bo-Katan and the whole Darksaber business and c’mon, dude, you can’t avoid your duties forever, nice as it might seem.

Anyway.

Anakin looking at his kid who is totally in love with the leader of Mandalore and then at Obi-Wan who is off to the side trying so freaking hard not to laugh, and anyway.

Yes.

(But also, okay, also. Luke trying to tell Leia that hey, their dad’s kind of not dead? And she’s angry - every right to be - and upset and neither of them expect her to do anything, just. They didn’t to keep it from her anymore and more than that she deserved to know, and anyway.

One day, you know. One day she makes a trip out to this hideaway Luke told her about that one time. There’s yelling and crying and not everything is resolved, but. It’s a start and more than Anakin ever thought he’d get and. Yes.)

Also, also.

Anakin and Rex and whoever else going to check out this school Luke is building on Mandalore, Ben beinng like “Oh,” because Luke and Din are like, they found some things he might care to see, and everyone leaves him with old journals or whatever from Duchess Satine and Anakin and Rex wait for him outside, and just, yes.

Basically good, nice things for everyone because I need it today, so yes. /o\

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

feeling very optimistic tonight because i’m slowly learning to gather the wisdom of those who are as fat as i am, when i need help with stuff other people don’t find difficult. plus size reddit helped prepare me for jury duty, answering questions i didn’t even know to ask. 

and when reddit was no help in finding an accessible hair salon, nextdoor gave me a recommendation for a local place, and a facebook group gave me an idea for how to utilize that friendly salon even though they couldn’t accommodate me with their own setup. if it works out, i’ll even have something to help with adopted cat bonding, which i’ve wanted for a while now, so that’s a bonus. 

idk, i’ve just never really had the money to take care of myself before--not like this, where i know i’m safe and stable and my family would be the first ones to agree that i deserve hair i like or comfortable clothes, instead of treating me like a financial resource or burden depending on how ‘selfishly’ i use my money. i'm sitting here thinking that i could maybe actually make this happen, develop a real relationship with a hair stylist and choose how i want to look, and then regularly maintain an upkeep routine, just to do something for myself, something fun. like other people do. like i’m normal. 

i’ve never been normal. and in general i don’t mind that, because i prefer me as i am. but some levels of my abnormality weren’t my choice, and that’s where it feels weird but good to have more of a choice now. i didn’t grow up with family meals around a table, so they make me severely uncomfortable when i’m invited to join others there. i could never count on access to food, so any spending makes me feel anxious about the future.

it's really hard to find a balance between splurging too often--a rebellion against my own panic--and restricting myself to only the bare necessities until i feel miserably deprived. i’m still bouncing back and forth there, depending on my mental health and life events and my goals. i’ve never been good at middle ground.

being poor and queer and neurodivergent and disabled and fat is a lot to live with every day. i’ve been really lucky to make it this far, and i’m grateful for all the help that got me here...but sometimes the intersections of my life feel impossible to navigate, like there’s always going to be some kind of wall i hit no matter how hard i try to stay optimistic and work through things and lean on my support systems and fight harder. 

i have a hard time accepting that my current life requires accommodations and self-advocacy and extra effort that i haven’t needed to make before, so it’s a kind of growing pains, i guess. i’m finally learning how to get the accommodations and not feel guilty for needing them, and when it works i’m shocked...but i’m also like ‘if this is possible why didn’t i try it before?’

so tonight i feel optimistic, and i choose to celebrate that.

[promptis-imagines]

Promptos a bit insecure about being seen shirtless around Noctis because of his stretch marks. Noctis can't relate entirely, and he doesn't exactly know the best thing to say to comfort Prompto. But he tells him he kinda gets it. Prompto chuckles kinda offended like "you've always been fit though". Noctis gets quiet and mumbles something like "I didn't mean it like that." before standing up and taking his shirt off and turning around so Prompto gets a good look at Noctis' giant back scar that goes from his shoulder blade to right above his hip. Prompto heard about this injury but aside from Noctis' awkward running, it's easy to forget about it. Prompto feels guilty for that. He also feels guilty for not recognizing that Noctis could ever feel as insecure as he does. Noctis does his best to try and cheer Prompto up but now Prompto is trying to cheer Noctis up so they go back and forth trying to say things to outdo each other until Noctis ends up getting frustrated and just grabs Promptos face and gives him the BIGGEST kiss. Idk how to end this off. Here's my little signature you've wanted. Hope you can see emojis. -🎣

It never ends, worry not (also love the emoji lol I didn't want you to feel pressured to do it but we have a Connection now y'know).

Ahhhhh I'm a sucker for Noctis' back scar. And helping each other heal through their insecurities. They're so goofy most of the time, but they've definitely got their share of stuff to work through and embarrassing things they'd rather hide. It's different for both of them, of course, but there's some level of understanding that they share. They know the other is still beautiful. It helps to know you're not the only one.

And you know they eventually devolve into joking that they're still incredibly hot no matter what they think of themselves. Somehow, they always end rough conversations with laughter.

[mercuryislove]

Don’t hate me but… I kinda want you to answer all of the deep dive WIP asks 🥺 if that’s unreasonable tho, just 2, 9, and 10 please!

I am SORRY for the delay!!! i answered every question for BOTH projects so you're in for like.... several thousand words of shit that makes absolutely no sense, but i hope you you enjoy it! :)

1. Who are two characters that don't like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?

White Crane: okay this is hard because like. so many people do not like each other. (I know I made a post once about how terrible it would be to be one of twenty-eight people that have the power of dead gods but are trapped in stupid human bodies and you're all a thousand years old and hate each other so so so so so much because you all SUCK.) But for the sake of simplicity, I will talk about Ciaran and Sihla who never got along but only played nice to keep Anwei happy. They absolutely do NOT put aside their differences lmao once everything kind of, um, blows up between the three of them, all they want to do is KILL each other. She makes it her life's goal to make him suffer, and he basically loses his sanity in the process of trying to find a way to kill her for good. The beef is unbelievable. ANYWAY, what they reveal about each other is that Ciaran is not nearly as innocent in anything as he likes to pretend and Sihla is not as guilty as everyone says she is. I mean, she is still a terrible person in many ways, but that does not excuse the things he did to her all those years ago. She hates him for many, many good reasons.

Old Blood: Andhira HATES the entire Ekion family, but specifically the oldest son (who does not have an official name yet.... oops). He doesn't much care for her either but is usually too busy trying to better his social standing to worry too much about her. Except when they're in the same room together (which happens semi-regularly because her brother is kind of in love with him lmao). They hate each other for the exact same reason and it's that they're both SO arrogant. They look down on everyone around them (which in Andhira's case is like. fair. She's the firstborn of the two most powerful people on the planet, and the only person that comes close to that level of power is her twin brother who was born a mere fourteen minutes after her) but think the other is completely unjustified in their actions. Really all it reveals to a reader is that they both kind of suck and need to get over themselves because all that behavior does is make people resent you. They only put aside their differences because she does kind of need his help once or twice, but they would gladly spit in each other's face and/or push each other down a flight of stairs in the name of pettiness.

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2. What do you hope your readers will take away from your wip? Is there an intentional theme to the story?

These can be answered together! I started writing these stories because I wanted to have fun but they've both kind of morphed into a long-winded way of saying that like. it's okay to be messed up and hate yourself and have major internal struggles because there are people who still love you. I KNOW it doesn't sound like that from uhhhhhh literally everything I've ever said about this stuff but bear with me. The BIG theme is that love is EVERYTHING. All kinds of love. It's the reason to keep on going. You are never alone, even strangers can love you in their own way, etc etc etc etc. Also gay love fucking prevails always and forever.

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3. What do you love most about your protagonist?

Yixing is funny and weird and definitely a horse girl and he kind of sucks sometimes because he's stubborn as hell and has terrible people skills and maybe also a drinking problem, but he is kind and empathetic and despite the absolute hell he's lived through, he still sees the good in people and knows that it's easy to make mistakes and that most people deserve second chances in life. Also I like him because he is without a doubt the ideal man and I made him that way on purpose. And god I wish we could drink together. I'm talking stumbling drunk, crying on the bathroom floor, please-hold-my-hair-i'm-about-to-throw-up kind of drinking. We would have a great time being stupid together I think.

Vera is resilient and mean and stubborn and cold and off-putting and hard to get to know, and she sucks for those reasons but it's also why I love her so much. She has also lived through hell and it didn't make her try to see the good in people like Yixing does. It just made her bitter and resentful. She warms up over time, but she fights tooth and nail against it. I also love her so much because she is the archetype of like. the washed up former prodigy that has to return sort of against her will to her old life, and she realizes that she misses it in some ways but also remembers exactly why she left. I would Not want to drink with her (because she doesn't drink anymore), but I would love to take one of her art classes.

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4. Is there anything in the story that is implied but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?

White Crane: This is hard because I'm so invested in my own shit that it feels obvious to me, but I try to lay out a little candy trail that tells the reader that Ciaran and Anwei are Not What They Seem right from the start. It’s hard to explain without specific examples but it’s in the way they talk, they way they interact with other people, the way certain things they say don’t line up, etc etc etc. And there is a Big Hint of what will happen to Ciaran in the second and third installment, but idk if that counts. Also there are definitely implications that Yixing is trans but that's neither here nor there (honestly I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not he should be explicitly trans or if it should be left to reader interpretation because well... I don’t know if I'm capable of writing the nuance of transness because I'm not trans despite my complex and confusing relationship with gender but I'm also not a thirty-something year old Asian man NOR am I a god NOR am I a former vampire hunter NOR am I like. any of the things I write about other than a mean lesbian so. who knows?)

Old Blood: TRUE FANS already know this one, but regular degular readers that haven't participated in funny question friday or read my random late night posting would not immediately know that Josef and the Sovereign were once involved. Basically the only characters in the story that know are Josef, Luka, the Sovereign himself, and Tahire. But there are definitely some hints peppered throughout conversations and perhaps some photos and trinkets that Josef has kept after all this time... It has like no weight on the events of the story but I just think it's fun. Once again I am way too invested to know if it's easy to pick up on or not but I think it takes some theorizing about maybe? Other than that there aren’t any significant secrets.

--

5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does the backstory affect the narrative?

White Crane: this is unfair because some of the characters are almost a thousand years old and some of them are like. 35. I DO have a full timeline written out of the thousand years of history that Ciaran and Anwei have lived through, if that counts as an answer. Like it doesn't have every single day and year, but it has all the big events for sure. Barring that, Yixing definitely has a pretty complex backstory. The man gets around lol and I try (and maybe fail?) to make him seem not too complex initially but then things get revealed and you learn more about him and are like “oh my god no wonder this man has Problems.” Also if he was like. “normal” and perhaps “well-adjusted” the story would not exist at all because he is the way he is and makes some of the stupid decisions he does because of his weird little life.

Old Blood: ONCE AGAIN, this is unfair because the Sovereign is like older than god. And Vera is 37. But like. I haven't fleshed him or any of the old ass vampires out nearly as much as Vera so there's your answer I guess? And I guess the important things are known from the start (that she was a prodigy, that she retired because terrible shit happened and she couldn't handle it, that she suffers from significant ptsd because of it, etc), but there is a lot of detail that doesn't come out until much later when she has to confront her Feelings (ewww feelings). Uh... the backstory affects the narrative because it wouldn't exist at all if Vera wasn't plagued by her fucked up blood nightmares lol

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6. Which two characters have the most complicated relationship? How does their relationship develop over time?

White Crane: Ciaran and Anwei totally. They love each other because they're brother and sister and were all the other had for a VERY long time (and even when they were still uh mortal, they relied on each other constantly), but also they hate each other because they're brother and sister. You know how it is with siblings. I love my brother and sister to pieces but I can't imagine being immortal and having to put up with the both of them for all eternity (sorry guys if you are reading this somehow.... I love you but we are all so annoying god bless). They handled their newfound godhood very, very, very differently and it kind of colors their relationship for the rest of time. There were times where they were extremely codependent and other times where they didn't speak to each other for DECADES. At the start of our story, they're on much better terms and have buried all their hatchets, but it doesn't take much for that to change....

Old Blood: Probably Vera and Andhira? They're only brought together because of their shared fucked up blood nightmares, and neither of them like that thought. They both resent the other for everything they are, and Vera is pretty much completely hostile to Andhira about it for a long time (and Andhira is only just barely cordial lol), but obviously a significant part of the plot revolves around them like. falling in love so they DO get over it after a while :)

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7. What is the most heart-wrenching scene in your wip? Why?

White Crane: When Yixing fucking DIES. I feel like this one should be self-explanatory. But I mean if you would like further explanation, it's unpleasant and slow and agonizing and nobody can do anything to stop it (haha....... unless?) so Ciaran gets to hold him for a long time and feel really bad about it lol

Old Blood: idk if there are any really heart-wrenching scenes but there are definitely some miserable and uncomfortable scenes like where Vera relives in vivid detail the days that she witnessed the gruesome deaths of her young apprentice and her last lover. They're upsetting because those are the two days that basically ruined her life (and one was the final straw that sent her spiraling completely out of control) and it's painful to watch her have to live with the guilt of what happened even if it wasn't her fault.

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8. What is a song that you associate with your wip? Explain.

White Crane: not to be basic but absolutely without a doubt in my stupid mind “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears lol it's because uh. well. Everybody wants to rule the world right? Basically way back in 2019 when I was crafting the ideas for the dnd campaign that became this thing instead, I was definitely having a metal gear moment (honestly I’m about to have a metal gear moment NOW lol) and was listening to a lot of like. mgs adjacent music and latched onto this song (and also promises, promises by naked eyes lmao) as some like thematic element. Like my brain making amvs. You know how it is. ANYWAY the point is. The concept was originally way different and was supposed to be more about the immediate aftermath of the so-called end of the world (yes Yixing was still there and yes he was still just some guy), and it focused a lot more on power struggles between all of these insane people that were granted godhood in the wake of the dying world. Which........ is something I'd like to write about at some point because it's intriguing in its own way but at the time I was unequipped to write about that when I really just wanted to write about people who are, for all intents and purposes, quite average getting caught up in the batshit drama of higher powers. (fun fact: Ciaran was supposed to be a tyrant king that ran a death cult and Anwei and Yixing were working together to figure out a way to kill him. Which is. Kind of what my dnd campaign is like now lol BASICALLY he's like if Big Boss was unkillable and could also rip souls out of people's bodies and eat them. I absolutely do not remember what this question originally was. Something about a song?)

Old Blood: THIS is the reason it took me so long to answer this whole thing. I thought long and hard and looked through all my playlists and listened to random songs that came to mind but it turns out the song I was looking for was right in front of me the whole time. DUH. It's “Golden Light” by Twin Shadow :) In my humble homo interpretation, I think it's a song about being afraid to fall in love and. Well. That's the whole point. Also #spoilers but the first time Vera sees Andhira and is like “oops I think I have feelings” is when they've just arrived at Andhira's home and the sun is rising and she looks over at her as they stand at the top of a hill and she has her eyes closed to the sun and she's bathed in golden light and OOUGGGGHGHHH poetic cinema. (honorable mention goes to “Groove is in the Heart” by Deee-lite because it’s quintessential early 90s music that Vera would be super into)

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9. What does your protagonist want most? What would they do to achieve this? What is something they wouldn't do to achieve this?

White Crane: Yixing wants to be happy for once. Like actually really happy instead of just. getting by. There's a scene where they're making wishes for the next seasons during the summer solstice and someone asks what he wants and he's like “uh I guess I want to still be alive at the end of the year?” and the other person is like “isn't that what everyone wants? Raise the fucking bar please. What do you REALLY want?” and he's stands there for a really long time and thinks about it before finally saying “I think I just want to be happy for once” and everyone else is like. wow. Way to kill the fucking mood dude. Anyway. He has had fleeting moments of happiness in his life but wants nothing more than to feel that way forever. It's kind of hard to say what he wouldn't do for that because like. there's not really much you CAN do in the first place, so I feel like there's even less you couldn't do. I guess he wouldn't like sell his soul to the devil or something lmao (though by being involved with Ciaran he's pretty much halfway there)

Old Blood: to be left alone. Vera just wants a normal life. She really truly does want to pretend that none of the horrible shit happened to her and that she was never a world-famous hunter. And she wants to teach art classes and live a quiet life!!! I mean, she is already mostly doing that exact thing when we first meet her, but obviously she has some hindrances (aka fucked up blood nightmares). She is begrudgingly helping Andhira because she assumes that will fix her problem and that she'll be able to get to that quiet living as soon as all is said and done. The only thing she really wouldn't do to get what she wants is like... live somewhere far away from Josef and Luka lol She likes having them close by more than she wants to be left alone.

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10. Within your story's world, were there any events that impacted every character (or most characters)? How would they be different if this event never happened? (Alternatively, erase an important even from on character's backstory and imagine where they'd be now.)

White Crane: well. If the stupid old gods didn't all kill themselves and almost end the world then I guess none of this story would exist lol But the actual answer is like. If Yixing had never run out on his girlfriend of ten years then he wouldn't have moved across the continent to Jengmi and wouldn't have made a name for himself way out there and wouldn't have been scouted and recruited and wouldn't have met Ciaran or Anwei and wouldn't have gotten in the middle of the batshit grudge between a bunch of ancient petty gay people and wouldn't have DIED and wouldn't have made one of the ancient petty gay people in particular lose his grip on his humanity via a lust for power in a desperate attempt to guarantee his safety and wouldn't have been the reason that tens of thousands of people die in his name and wouldn't have accidentally set off a chain of events that resulted in him having to hunt down and kill the Actual God that started it all in a fit of jealous rage. So like. maybe he should have just gone through with the wedding. All things considered, his life would have been way less stressful.

Old Blood: uhhh, that's tough because the stuff that happens only really has any effect on the mortal characters (I mean yeah people still try to kill the Sovereign but they're too dumb to know the ACTUAL way to kill him.... haha unless??), so it would be more like a what if Vera didn't witness the violent deaths of both her apprentice and her lover and have a full blown nervous breakdown and abandon her career? Well...... I think most things in the plot would transpire more or less the same, except she would be WAY less pissed off about it. In fact, she would probably be hyped as hell to get the chance to make the acquaintance of the Sovereign's family like Josef had before her. The thought of Vera being upbeat and not a sleep-deprived asshole that hates being dragged back to her old life..... ew. Not that I enjoy her suffering but you know what I mean. It just wouldn't be the same.

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11. What is something from your wip that you just really want to ramble about?

Are you sure you're ready for this. This is going to be so so so so long I'm sorry in advance. It's Saturday night and I'm alone and kind of sad so I'm just going to let loose.

As I hone down plot elements for next two installments in my little trilogy, I have kind of become obsessed with the passage of time and how different it must feel to someone that, well, lives forever. One of the ways I'd written (that has since been kind of changed) for Yixing to start to figure out what Ciaran really is was that he would casually be looking through his bookshelf and find an old photograph of Ciaran, Anwei, and their mom standing backstage together after one of his performances. And when he eventually asks Ciaran about it, he gets upset because how dare you touch the one thing I have left to remember my mother? To remember what my life used to be like? There are so many names and faces and places and foods and sensations that I've forgotten in the 940 years I've lived like this and I would give anything I have to see any of it just one more time because I didn't know that the last time I would ever speak to my mom we would have an argument on the phone about how I need to go to the temple and pray for good fortune on my birthday, or that the last time I would ever see my best friend would be at 6am when we both came into the studio to practice and he asked me to go out to breakfast and I said no because I thought a nap would be more important. And there are so many people that I've watched die whose names I never learned and whose faces I forgot the moment I turned away, and there are so many others that I loved so dearly that I had to leave behind because they grew old and I didn't. And I have lived lifetimes in solitude to keep myself a secret from other people and I have died more than any person should ever have to die and I have witnessed atrocities no one should ever witness and I hate everything about this life so much but I love everything about this life so much and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but I think I would give it all away in an instant if only to remember the scent of my mother's favorite perfume and I think I would give it all away in an instant if it meant I didn't have to watch you turn to dust in my arms.

ANYWAY. I think a lot about the agony of loving things that aren't permanent and how it really DOES drive you mad because lately I have been unbelievably nostalgic for certain things that weren't even that long ago but..... I didn't appreciate them at the time and I feel so guilty about it. (And like. I too would give up my entire life to be able to remember the scent of my grandmother's favorite perfume.) And all my pent-up sadness is for things that only happened in my childhood. I have pictures and videos and other people to share those memories with, but what does it feel like to be one of very few people that watched the entire world fall apart and rebuild itself and have nothing to hold onto from that time? What does it feel like to foster dozens of generations of children and outlive every single one of them? What does it feel like to have only fragments of memories of entire lifetimes? How lonely is it? I mean, Ciaran and Anwei have each other and that makes a difference but it still has to be the most isolating feeling. And then there's the pain that comes with memories that have faded or otherwise become hazy. I doubt either of them remember their father's face. They hadn't seen him in years even before it all happened. If it wasn't for that single photo he has, they wouldn't remember their mother's face either. Do they still remember her name? Or her birthday? Do they remember anyone else? Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, coworkers? If they do, do they even want to talk about it? One thing I worry about in my own life (and this is how I know I have Problems) is that I'm so afraid that talking about memories will alter them somehow. There are so many things that I don't even like to share because once the words are spoken the little vhs tape that has all my memories has been recorded over, even if it's just by a single frame. Something about it has been changed forever each time I talk about it. Do they feel the same way and keep things to themselves instead of sharing the sadness? I think maybe they used to talk about the “old days” or whatever much more often back in the past, but as the years went by.... they just learned to keep it to themselves.

I think maybe I have a lot of anxiety about the passage of time and of being forgotten!

Anyway again. The passage of time drives me insane. And I think it would make me even more insane if I had been chosen to carry the mantle of a dead god and would live forever. My dog died a year ago and I still cry like every single day thinking about her. If I was doomed to live forever I don't know how the sadness wouldn't swallow me whole! No wonder all the people in this book are fucking CRAZY!!

And don't even get me started on the Sovereign lol he's like “oh boo-hoo you've lived for not even a thousand years? Bitch they hadn't invented fucking GLASS yet when I was born. The horse wasn't domesticated yet. Cry harder!!”

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Character review!!(2/4):

Fix it!!;

Fix it is an adorable orange minicon who deserves so much? He's a blabbermouth with a bit of a vocabulary tick that kinda gets annoying, but on the whole, he's very cute. He helps the team both medically and technically, and as often as he's pushed around, the team wouldn't be the same without him. He also likes BIG boys and is so dtf if you're bigger than him. Given that Denny is bigger than him, it's not that hard to accomplish. 7/10. Would've been higher if they didn't make his character a bit repetitive. Still love him though.

Denny clay!!;

Father of Russell Clay, this dude owns the junkyard that the autobots reside in, and he's honestly just a cute, loving man. Tbh he's just a good character in terms of personality. like he's better than most bots on this show. 8/10, would smooch him. Literally I only added him here because I'm attracted to him, while simultaneously wanting him as my actual dad. Idk y'all i got issues.

Buzzstrike!!;

He was only around for a few episodes, but he's honestly one of my favorite minicons. He just seems like a charming, handsome boy. I didn't get much in terms of his personality, but I do get he's passive without being a pushover, he talks with his hands a lot, and he has just...such a nice voice. Ngl, 8/10 because he's swoon worthy.

Dropforge!!;

Dropforge, although only appearing in two episodes, pretty much swept me off my feet. An old timey lieutenant with quite the speech pattern, he’ s a mini that's small in stature, but BIG on personality. Mech doesn’t play with baddies, and is honestly a fun, sorta cool character I wish they had explored earlier, even if it was via Strongarm’s references. I say this for a lot of characters, because it’s true, but he deserved a lot more than what he had. He could’ve been used as a proper back and forth from Cybertron and earth, vs whatever the fuck they had Optimus do. Honestly a coordination between Dropforge and the Bumblebee team would’ve been more affective than literally everything Optimus did. 8/10. 9/10 if they did more with him.

Optimus!!;

I actually wasn’t even going to include him, from how kinda lackluster I found him in this series. But he’s the poster child for Transformers, and Dropforge’s entry sorta made me have some solid thoughts for him. So, this Optimus is one of the weaker ones. Mainly because there was so many alternatives to him coming back to life. I get it, that’s his thing, but it was really done for the sake of bringing back a familiar face. He had funny/dad moments, but he honestly didn’t HAVE to be here. At the weakest Optimus, I give him a 6/10. Would've been more, had his revival had more of an emotional impact from the team (and yes I'm referring to  Ratchet).

Blastwave!!;

Blastwave was a minor character that only appeared for one episode, but I still wanna talk about him, as he’s a part of my favorite episodes of all time, ‘Guilty as Charged’. In his debut, dude comes out as gruff and stuff, only to turn out to be a rather soft, mute bounty hunter. I’m not appreciating him for so much as his personality (but he does seem like a neat guy, he’s better than most characters on this show), but for what he did for this series. He made everything a bit more bearable, and I appreciate his ability to give something for Bumblebee to relate to. 8/10, I love him.

Jazz!!;

Did he appear in one episode then once towards the end? yes. Did I still love him? yes. It’s unfortunate, but most of the really good characters only appear in an episode or two. Jazz is good in every continuity (no I will not be told otherwise), but this one gets props for what he did in his premier episode, ‘can you Dig it?’. He gave Sideswipe a chance to shine, while simultaneously making himself look good. Smooth, handsome, flexible, kind, all wrapped up in quite the frame? it’s no wonder the team’s thot had a crushy wushy on him damn bitch me too and for that, 9/10. Love him literally so much.