#idk? it was attempted murder not successful but it was real and it's more personal than some news story?

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

(Mandatory disclaimer: I have never successfully killed a human and I have every intention of keeping it that way)

I wanna tell a story that earns the anon at McDonald's reaction image someday but like I don't think anything worthy has ever happened to me like sure I can shock people with the "fun fact" that I attacked someone with intent to kill before I was 10 but like that's the whole story that's everything and maybe I'm desensitized cuz, y'know, it was me and I've never had an outside perspective but it just doesn't feel interesting enough. Shocking sure but it's hardly a story.

[krakenshaped]

If I can like add to what my moot said, it's almost ironic considering Edo's character revolves around growing up too fast. Edo Phoenix is a traumatised child thrown into an industry filled with adults and was more or less prepared/has already thrown away his youth to fit into that scene. It reflects in everything about him, from his social awkwardness around the other characters his age to his snooty, I'm-better-than-you attitude he has early season 2. Which makes the sexualisation of him just real SAD

Ah okay Edo Phoenix rant incoming, read more below, but tldr; Ed's just a kid and life is a nightmare

I think it's just sad that the fandom treats Edo this way because idk. I found his story incredibly sad and tragic and one of the main points in this tragedy is that he's a kid that's in over his head.

Edo Phoenix is a smug genius who is a world champion and one of the biggest rising celebrities in the dueling scenes. He has an attitude, he's merciless and he crushes those underneath him just because he can. Early season 2 everything began and ended with his success which is why he did as Saiou said to begin with. Because Saiou told him his career depended on it. And to Edo, nothing means more than his career.

Why? Simple. D.D.

A lot of complains about D.D is that he didn't get enough screentime or he wasn't foreshadowed well enough but honestly, I think we found out enough about D.D from the context we were given. D.D is a cheat, a liar and a scumbag filled with delusions of grandeur with an obsession with his persona and success. He was willing to kill someone for success even without the Light's influence, and from there he began to build his image of a talented duelist and kind person, using and manipulating Edo to both evade capture for murdering Edo's dad but also to boost his image. He adopted Edo not because he cared for him, but because it would shape his image in a good way. He began painting this image of being a "Hero", and soon enough the media and the world as a result acknowledged him as such.

You can see in many ways how D.D's attitude towards the world rubs off on Edo. Comparing Edo's unpleasant attitude and obsession with being the hero early season 2 to D.D when he goes mask off says enough. D.D adopted this boy, exploited him to evade police detainment and then shaped him in his image all for his own personal goals. He believes he made Edo what he was. His success was carved by him and him alone. He created Edo, and he will destroy him, as he attempts to do in the finale.

Underneath D.D's influence and his grief of his father's death, Edo is an awkward, well meaning and naive kid. He puts on this persona of being a hero, and being more mature than his classmates but his eagerness to follow those he trusts without even questioning what he's being told to do (like Saiou, D.D, etc), his delinquent idea of what a vigilante is and his general lack of insight shows who he really is.

A really, really, really sad kid who knows nothing but deep, unrelenting grief and hard work. As a result, he's become a stupid kid pretending to be an adult.

Which is why the fanon interpretation of him makes me so SAD.

[zlobonessa]

well since the coup thing here just kinda sorta ended i guess i think this is as good time as ever to tell yall about my silly little modern au because why the hell not. i had this au for a while as a source for jokes but it just kept growing and growing untill. well I'm actually writing fic about (parts of) this but again it's in russian so i just want to outline the ideas. this is totally went off the rails but i like it that way

so

the catalyst of all is regurein of course

i have several variations of why the hell are they dating but one of my favourites is the one where they engage in passionate fight about twilight saga on the internet

joke about twilight saga belongs to koa. thanks koa.

the second favourite is about coffeeshop au set in two rivaling coffeeshops with questionable work practices and with money laundering probably happening in the background (or something worse?) of one of them

but anyway

reinhard's friends are taking the news very well

which means they are not, in fact, taking the news very well

julius is heartbroken

he has that wlw experience where your infinitely pretty incredibly smart unimaginably cool friend (homoerotic undertone) starts dating a guy who can be characterized only as Human Garbage

out of Friendly Concerns he and the others start the secret operation of Breaking Your Best Friend Relationships

they are not very successful

observing disgustingly sweet and/or horrifying dates with binoculars from the bushes does not bring any results

ferris suggested poisoning several times already

somewhere along the line felt is involved

she is neither the participant nor regurein's matchmaker but a secret third thing

(not entertained by any of this bullshit but forced to observe it)

probably is blackmailing julius

lye is also here

he is tagging along with regulus for some reasons idk i never thought it through

he and felt form unexpected friendship based on common annoyance of being forced to third wheel all this mess

perhaps they start the punk rock band???

the music is terrible

joshua thinks soo too

yes he is also here

he desperatly pretends to be a big fan

that's his late teenage rebellion

felt and lye do not like him anyway but it's not like they have a lot of fans so they keep him to buy them alcohol or something

when julius finds out he almost has a heart attack

and also regulus had some malicious plan all along! oh no!

but oh well he is not the smartest guy yknow

certainly NOT GOOD with being subtle

also has very Weird relationships with feelings

and accidentally catches them for reinhard for real

his mental stability: destroyed

but it's fine and reinhard keeps him anyway because he is absolutely bonkers

again julius is very close to an emergency room

but also in the (failed) attempt to stop this shitshow he Finds His True Love

emijulisuba happens! yay

bonded by spying and perhaps discussion ls of common crush on reinhard

so it's fine. it's totally fine. it's so fine he swears.

IN THE MEANTIME

the subplot happens. it involves wilhelm.

reinhard informs him that he has a boyfriend and plans to introduce him at the family dinner. in the desparate attempt to repair their broken relationships wilhelm decides that it's time to be An Ally

i'm giving him a lot of credit here but that's also a bit of copium for Me Personally so it's okay

so wilhelm googles "who are.gay people"

accidentally ends up on gay dating app

as an ally

matches with petelgeuse there

as an ally

has sex with him

as an ally

tries to think how exactly he is gonna tell reinhard that he has a new grandma now so he is forgiven

(that was a joke)

so reinhard comes to the manor/apartment/penthouse with regulus

and regulus and petelgeuse recognise each other because of course they do! they are colleagues! (or were something more? who know)

well now this is awkward

do you think somebody gets murdered here

credits roll

scene after credits: emilia finds out that her dead aunt and her somewhat-uncle who went out for milk years ago are actually both alive in complicated relationship and working in the coffeeshop-slash-money-laundering-scheme-slash-sect

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

In what position do you think a (lot) smarter Aleksander would be?

This is difficult to say because it’s like at what point in time does he acquire this additional intelligence lol? Does it change his goals? Or simply how he pursues them?

Like first of all, I don’t understand why it took him that long to attempt a coup. I can sub in headcanons about how he thought as long as the Shadow Fold is a problem he can’t solve, it’s going to give the impression of an ineffective government and he doesn’t want that associated with his rule, so the Lantsovs can keep the bad PR until they find a sun summoner. But the book never actually implies that? So what’s going on? Is he just procrastinating? Does he have anxiety?

Meanwhile, why is he just sitting around waiting for a sun summoner? What if one never shows up? Has he really just been sitting around for centuries doing nothing? Like was he just going to wait endlessly with zero back up plan? Like regular people in real history have been way more effective in taking power and that’s without the aid of a personal army, immortality, a literally endless amount of time, or the unholy powers of darkness lmao.

The political backdrop of this series truly makes no sense 😭😭😭

But yeah if we’re ignoring that and just talking about how he could have been smarter once the plot took off:

The absolute biggest, most bewildering mistake he makes imo is going full gloves off insane villain mode once Alina runs away. I love it as a character beat, but it’s literally so easy to… not do that. He doesn’t attempt any damage control whatsoever. He basically confirms everything Baghra said about him, when he could have just played up the fact that Alina disappeared in the middle of the night and he’s been SO worried about her, etc etc.

From a character perspective, I think he’s just too old and impatient to bother explaining anything to anyone. But it does feel like a huge misstep that he never actually tries to convince Alina to his side in general. His high handed “I am so reasonable and you are so stupid” schtick may be great for his ego but it’s not really conducive to getting her to see his side of things.

ALSO OPTING TO KILL MAL INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY BARGAINING HIS LIFE FOR ALINA’S COOPERATION??? Once again, great character beat. But also really, really stupid of him.

And then, he somehow manages to lose the capital despite a successful coup? How?? Why??? Sir ,you have your own literal army that’s only loyal to you 😭😭😭From what I can tell he also only loses the capital because he chose to leave instead of holding it. So. Maybe don’t do that 😭😭

From S&S on, it’s harder to guess what he’s up to in real time. But the choices of his we do see continue to be colored by needless vindictiveness, petulance, and a volatile temper. He talks so much about his unending patience yet he never actually demonstrates it! Almost everything he does feels like a bad choice or a potentially clever one that he immediately undercuts because of his own shortsightedness. This remains true all the way to RoW where his plan to enter the stage as a saint is more about a single decisive dramatic moment (that goes very poorly) rather than actually putting in the legwork to leverage his following to accumulate real power or to gather an actual army. He barely even takes the time to familiarize himself with the playing field. It’s the equivalent of a get rich quick scheme 😭😭

I feel like he has pretty much every advantage throughout these books! It’s so easy to picture a scenario where he takes control of the country and keeps it, or slowly persuades Alina to listen to his points. Idk all he has to really do on that front is to wait a couple hundred years so that everyone she knows dies, and to not? commit? very obviously unnecessary and impossible to justify mass murders??

So idk “Where would he be if he was smart” winning literally everything?

[skulkingwriter]

A couple of months ago, while I was sitting in hospital with gallstones and nothing much else to do, I watched Heathers The Musical, which is available on Prime, at least in the UK.

And I came out of it with a really sour taste in my mouth, and it wasn’t exactly the fault of the show itself - not exactly.

Spoilers and both praise and criticism under the readmore…

I was worried, going in, that it would be softened somehow from the film. That there would be… idk, not less murder because then it’s not even Heathers any more, but I guess from the way the marketing leans on the iconic short skirts and croquet mallets and the 90s glam of the Heathers themselves, I think I worried they might be neither awful nor pathetic enough. But no! Three more awful and pathetic human beings you rarely see on stage in a teen-pleasing musical. The boy, also? Horrid. Love it. Veronica doesn’t get off easy either. No one does. Everyone here is terrible. As it should be!

Which brings me to Martha. Hands up who’s surprised. Nobody? Good.

I was hoping for more depth for Martha. It would have been an actual improvement on the film, where as far as I remember she’s just sort of there as a way to prove Veronica has become a better person at the end. And… I guess? She gets a whole song?

But it’s literally all about her preschool boyfriend who is a rapist now. And look, I can talk myself around, if I try. I guess if she had seemed less pathetic and deluded than the rest of the characters that might have not been fair or felt like it fit. And sure the dickhead preschool boyfriend is human, and dead, and there’s no harm in waxing lyrical about the lost innocence of their youth, before everyone including him turned on Martha for being fat and uncool.

But it just… didn’t feel like it was about Martha, not like Heather 3’s surprisingly moving solo about the boat. I wanted a song about Martha. Veronica is so fucked up by the high school politics that she (accidentally) murders three people, and she is conventionally attractive enough to pass for a Heather. Martha is a real victim in a way that Veronica can only dream about, she attempts suicide about it, and all she has to say for herself is a fantasy about a boy.

I know it’s not unrealistic for that to be what she’s obsessing over. I was just hoping for more. A little update. A tiny bit of empathy.

But none of that is actually the thing that made me feel sick. That was when she came out in the wheelchair and brace at the end and

the audience laughed.

I’m still not sure if the staging set them up for it. Kind of, I guess. The narrative didn’t. She was a pathetic character, the implied conscience of the lead, and the last thing she had done on stage was attempt suicide.

She came on stage in her wheelchair and the audience for this musical laughed at her.

And I flashed back to the opening credits pre-roll bit where we’d seen a succession of teen girls queuing to get in and buying hot bully merch, and I felt ill. Can I say for sure there were no fat or visibly disabled teens in that video? No, I’d have to go back and look. I would be pretty surprised though. If there were any unconventional looking girls in that audience, I don’t think they got to be on telly about it. And I had been a little bit apprehensive about that all along, and I’d forgotten about it because the musical was pretty good, and guess what? I was right.

And honestly that’s why I can’t recommend this to people, even though the music is fun and the story is as fucked up as the original in most of the right ways. Right at the end, the audience who’s been enjoying this teenage bully-killing revenge fantasy turns around and straight up bullies the only fat or disabled character and it is a gut punch to experience.

Veronica is the audience surrogate, living out these intensely teen fantasies one by one - adoption by popular set, hot weird boyfriend, violent revenge, vindication and redemption. And ever since I saw the film 20-odd years ago I’ve assumed that, sure, some Veronicas needed that as teens too, and obviously you’d never cast a Martha in the lead role, but as a Martha, this is secretly a story for me.

Except it’s not. Apparently.

Anyway think the musical is pretty good but the audience ruined it for me and I wasn’t even there.

[iesbiandisaster]

Little Hcs I've thought of real fast (mentions of sex, minors dni, proship dni) ;

Spencer and Edward;

Edward absolutely hates how Spencer drinks his coffee and has been secretly putting less and less sugar in it. Spencer knows and secretly adds more in it. A never ending cycle

Edward picks off onions and Spencer eats them

Edward LOVESSS Thai food where as Spencer only likes one dish from Edwards favorite place

As we know Edward is amazing at taking care of the people he loves when sick. And compared to Oswald, Spencer is SUPER clingy when sick and is very sweet

Vise versa, Edward takes care of himself when sick and Spencer helps the best he can (usually with random care packages and a note with a long ramble of why this is good when sick)

Edward an almost all music enjoyer vs Spencer a hater of most genres

Also both of them leave each other little paper cranes around the house, it's very cute but it gets cluttered very quickly. They each have their own jar filled with cranes

Pranks between them get WILD. Two geniuses pranking each other? It goes too far super fast. Oswald usually has to intervene.

Yaps x yaps kind of ship

Spencer is surprisingly a good dancer! Probably because of his memory, but the both of them have fun dancing together

Both of them are absolutely not limber btw, both built like string beans with some muscle, but ask them to touch their toes? They can't do it, can barely touch 😞

Edward and Oswald;

Yaps x listens kind of ship

Lets be real this is a semi toxic relationship, but come on, if you haven't tried to kill each other, do you really love them?

Oswald HATES mushroom and so does Edward, Spencer eats them because he likes the texture (gross)

Both specialize in different areas of cooking, Edward is more of the fancier takes time meals and Oswald is the what can we scrounge up to make a soup (both are still very delicious) (Ps Oswald usually HATES cooking those types of meals unless Edward asks for it, he obviously prefers the fancier meals)

Arguments can get bloody but so does the sex so really it's ok (not really Spencer hates it sometimes)

Edward teaches Oswald how to dance, (it goes as well as you expect) but it's something Edward likes to do to spend time with Oswald, so Oswald tolerates it.

Oswald hates lemons and Edward loves them (Oswald will sometimes refuse to kiss Edward if he has been having anything with strong lemon in it)

Organized x chaotic organization ship (you can guess who is who)

Oswald calls Ed, "Eddie" on occasion. It makes Edward super happy

Oswald does have a love hate relationship with Edwards long hair, it gets everywhere but he's so handsome with it. Suffering in success ig

Oswald and Spencer

They could NOT stand each other at first

The true old couple that bickers often

Oswald has attempted to kill Spencer before but yknow that's a running streak between the three of them at this point

What's love without attempted murder, am I right gang?

Btw Spencer totally has shot Oswald before in a situation. Idk what situation! But one that happened

Both are cane users occasionally, more Oswald than Spencer (Edward too, but it's mostly a fashion statement than actual usage)

Oh they absolutely kick the canes under each other's feet, literally the cane wars between the two

They also sabotage each other's cane, like hiding it, making sure it's juuuust off enough where it drives the person mad trying to figure out what's wrong with the cane

You know that one bit in House where the cane is sawed just enough to be used until it breaks in half? Yeah Spencer did that to Oswald once and Oswald poisoned his food that night

Yes they both jump to extreme points, they're enemies and absolutely hate each other (lie)

Oh but they totally have had hate sex before and just never acknowledged it afterwards until they realized their feelings and were like. "Fuck"

Yaps x please shut the fuck up type of ship

Oswald is the most flexible out of all of them! Also can do a handstand???? Idk where that's coming from but it's canon now

Their war dies down to a 'extreme prank war' where it's literally just not attempted murder but will and most likely will cause harm . But yknow in a I love you kind of way (Edward also participates when he's especially pissed off at one of them,,, or both. He also can be petty too, as a treat)

Both are so petty!!!! Absolutely so petty we need to talk about that more especially with Spencer!!!

I need people to see the vision I see.

[lyraasilvertongue]

I've been seeing some discussion about how mad Sirius's imprisonment without trial was etc. and I've also been thinking about it for my own fic so here are some very rambly thoughts:

(also, I'm not suggesting that, at any level, jkr intended to explore the complexities of a corrupt justice system, all of this is a consequence of her many, many plotholes/poor worldbuilding, not her "genius")

Firstly, I think that Sirius was immediately assumed to be guilty because of his family. By this time (1981), the Death Eaters are basically synonymous with the Black family (inc. the Malfoy's, etc.) We know via Walburga's portrait, Kreacher, etc. that this family was unashamedly and loudly devoted to blood purity, to power, and to Voldemort.

But we also know that despite their obvious guilt, the Black family & co. were practically invincible because of their wealth and influence. Even after Voldemort's defeat, most of them successfully evade prison! It's not clear (bc why would it be...) but it's definitely implied in GOF that the attack on the Longbottom's happened a while after Voldemort's downfall. The Death Eaters felt "safe" in attacking the Longbottom's and that kind of security in their freedom definitely wouldn't have happened in the immediate aftermath. Meaning? They lived comfortably, freely for at least a few years after Voldemort's defeat in 1981.

The Ministry is simultaneously desperate to convict as many Death Eaters as possible (and prove their competency) but also letting some of the most notorious go free? Make it make sense!

Like, there is no way this is going to make them popular with the people, right? But also, the Black family & co. are extremely powerful in the Ministry. I think they absolutely had tons of blackmail material on the Ministry (corruption, secret supporters of Voldemort, etc) as well as being financially important too. We see this with Lucius Malfoy throughout the series - they clearly know he isn't a good guy and yet, he has considerable power in the Ministry. The Ministry can't risk losing the backing of these families but it had to do something to prove itself to the public.

Enter, Sirius Black.

Disowned by his family, he didn't seem to pose any real risk to the Ministry's relationship with the Black family; why would they defend their disgraced former heir? Even if Sirius did turn out to have become a Death Eater (i.e. returned to their "side") and did actually commit this crime, they still wouldn't have been willing to defend him because they were obviously doing all they could to distance themselves from Voldemort. Their son is found at the scene of a mass murder committed in Voldy's name - not exactly going to help their case in defending the "real" Black family. Sirius is a pretty safe target for the Ministry to pursue and be seen to be doing something right.

(Similarly, I think this is why Karkaroff is said to have had a trial much closer to the events of 1981. He isn't attached to a family name, he doesn't seem to come from any wealth, etc. He can be imprisoned without any real consequence but shows the Ministry to be successful in bringing justice.)

Sirius was also at the heart of the most significant event in the fight against Voldemort. The Potter's house in Godric's Hollow becomes a monument, it is visited by thousands of wizards who leave messages, Harry is repeatedly stopped in the street by strangers and thanked, he is stared at and fawned over. The Potter's become the ultimate symbol of the tragedy of the war. Their deaths (and Harry's life) become public property, it becomes personal. Everyone feels a sense of entitlement to the Potter's as if their tragedy belongs to the entire wizarding community. So naturally, the public would turn their attention towards the person who apparently made this happen. Not only someone who is a member of the notorious Black family but was an apparent mass murderer and a traitor too!

It was so easy for the Ministry to leave Sirius to rot in prison without a trial because who was going to defend him? Not his "family" who were too busy trying to save their own skin, not the public, and his real family were gone too: James and Sirius' parents were dead, James and Lily were now too. Peter was the real traitor. Remus was seemingly nowhere to be found and even if he was there, he suspected Sirius already (plus, I doubt the Ministry would accept his testimony or whatever because of his condition...)

Sirius was twenty-one. He was alone, vulnerable, grieving, obviously suffering from PTSD, and found to be the centre of one of the worst events in the war. I think ultimately he was an easy target for the Ministry to protect their reputation/public standing and cover up their miserable attempts at persecuting actual Death Eaters.

Is referencing a thing on hp meta? Idk but this was totally inspired by @wolfbuck and @allalrightagain and also this article about the Longbottom's attack.

Edit: even more thoughts on this here!

[luckyspacerabbit]

would you ever share the background you created for kai leng? i'd be so interested in hearing it!

Hehe, yes! Thank you for waiting anon. I wanted to really think this through and make sure I was working with all the possible details of his character.

Okay, so my goal with fleshing out Kai was not to excuse him as a villain or to necessarily redeem him, but to humanize him and hopefully incur sympathy because I find his depiction as a mysterious lackey boogeyman to be 🙄 one dimensional and playing on racist tropes like the yellow peril ✨ (also bioware making him predominantly chinese + a lil russian. extrapolate what u will lol)

So here is my background for Kai :) Lots of childhood headcanoning and then some general talk about his character/why I chose certain elements as I did (such as dumping that dumb phantom blade for butterfly swords AEORHIG)

Childhood: According to the wiki, Kai is Earthborn, and from his general heritage we can assume that he grew up in Northern China (omg that's where my ancestors are from). The most populous city there is Beijing, which, if there was a spaceport or alliance recruitment anywhere, it would be there.

I headcanon that he was born to a bit of an unsteady family, where it was likely there was estrangement and unsafe conditions between the mother and father that may have created a sense of helplessness and neglect from a young age.

In my canon, Dan Hyun's mom, Hannah Shepard was the head of an agricultural research facility on Trident, and was an old friend of Kai's mom (From University, possibly).

As conditions worsened throughout Kai's childhood, his mom decided to take a chance and flee with Kai (age 10 at the time) to Hannah Shepard's science facility on Trident (Sentinel Agricultural Research Facility), where she and Kai would stay for about two years as his mom worked to save enough money for their own place .

Since Dan Hyun was already being homeschooled, it was easy enough for Kai to join up alongside her.

Dan Hyun (12 at the time) was extremely happy to have a friend since life on the facility could be really lonely-- but with all these changes Kai was having a difficult time adjusting, especially when Dan Hyun felt put off by his competitive attitude. After so long feeling neglected and growing in a tumultuous home environment, he craved external validation: homeschool provided an avenue for that. They developed their own academic-based competitive rivalry that counted towards friendship, but grew distant when he moved out with his mom about two years later.

When Dan Hyun was 18 (Kai at 16), she managed to apply to an Alliance Research Training program and receive admission-- something that was considered highly prestigious, despite her parents' reluctance. Kai had already begun to build resentment towards her due to the way her parents treated her (very preciously, sheltered, and without exposing her to the difficult parts of life) in contrast with what he lacked in family and world kindness, creating a drive to supersede her and compete with her once again, if only to have tangible proof that just because he began in a lower place didn't mean he couldn't surpass the vision of success.

After this event, they would strike up a still somewhat friendly rivalry again that continued until Kai enlisted in the Alliance at the age of 18 (his attempts to join directly at 16 failed in my canon lol, but he sure tried )

Alliance Service:

Kai took the combat-driven route while Dan Hyun was receiving training for her eventual research establishment in Akuze, meaning that in their line of work, they never crossed paths-- Though they maintained occasional communication and met up here and there whenever Kai was back from his tours.

This is where I believe his decline truly began.

Some habits, like his desire for tangible proof of success and seeking external validation, manifested more heavily in this time. Collecting badges off of dead soldiers (To remember his skill first hand) is a notable one, but I speculate he relied heavily on the word of his commanding officers to counter his self-esteem. Titles were incredibly important because they were proof. When he began to feel a loss of control which led to emotional outbursts and breakdowns, he would fall back on these bits of evidence that he had done something, anything.

The weight and violence of service combined to break away his mental strength and conditioned him to that of a soldier.

Famously, he was discharged in 2186 after his N7 designation. In a bar fight on shore leave, he murdered a Krogan (OKAY. Listen. The wiki says "first-degree murder" but first degree requires premeditation and bar fight implies heat of the moment. So IDK I think the details around this one are a little fishy. He was on leave but he was a soldier, so ? he probably just had a weapon on him? Okay, I'm not excusing him but premeditation is a bit different from manslaughter so just something I've pondered. It separates intentional killers from accidental murders).

At this point, he is formally incarcerated and set to serve a twenty-year sentence.

Cerberus Contact:

The year is 2177, and Kai has lost everything he's ever worked for. His prestige is gone, he is at the worst place he has ever been, his mom won't talk to him, and he has no one. He had even stopped hearing from Dan Hyun, the only person he could have considered a friend once.

Through a small TV in the prison, he is able to hear about the attack on Akuze, and its one survivor: Alliance Scientist Dan Hyun Shepard. In the attack her biotic abilities (Which she had kept secret for many years) were revealed, prompting immediate recruitment into the N7 Program and a contract for ten years of service. This drove Kai into rock bottom-- while he had nothing, Dan Hyun was steadily on track to uprooting the only thing he had ever felt like he had accomplished.

This is when Cerberus intervened, promising him a home, freedom, belonging, and success.

So of course Kai agreed. Why wouldn't he? He had nothing left in his miserable life and there would never again be a place for him.

Cerberus Intervention:

It's my belief that Kai wasn't necessarily "alienphobic" in the beginning. Instead, I think The Illusive Man saw a very clear opportunity to recruit and nurture a broken man into a pawn of service. TIM is incredibly smart-- everyone who works for Cerberus is. He knew what Kai needed was validation, the promise of success held directly on the tip of his tongue to drive him into tenacity and action.

Organizations like Cerberus, even in real life, prey on people at weak points, fulfill their needs and drape their ideology on top like icing on a cake. That's not to say that Kai is completely innocent-- he ate the sweets and readily threw the world to the side in order to attain more-- but it does give some perspective.

Kai in Cerberus:

In ME2 we know there is some apprehension on Kai's part about the role Shepard will play. He is already starting to feel slighted from failures with Rasa and takes even the possibility of rejection from TIM extremely hard and with violent emotional outburst. This evidences how much TIM has whittled him away over the decade of service. Kai feels as though he owes everything to TIM, that TIM saw something in him-- failing him is disproving that and accepting what Kai has feared all along: that he truly is a worthless and incapable person.

Kai and Shepard:

Kai is best known for his direct antagonism towards Shepard in the events of ME3, directly killing their allies and potential love interests in a way that is extremely personal. Yes, it is part of the job, but at the same time, it's clear Shepard gets under his skin. It's because in the end, after all that setup, Shepard is the one person who can take it all away from him.

They can replace him as TIM's prodigy/ They can bring an end to the organization that gave him everything (From his cybernetic enhancements (uh indoctrination cough couch) ) to his purpose in life. Kai threw it all in with them because he didn't see another choice.

My Canon: The End

So how do things end for Kai in my canon?

As you're aware, you can unalive him, violently. But Dan Hyun is very emotional and due to their shared childhood, I like to believe that there was still a grand feeling of kinship between them, a recognition of the other due to shared insecurities. I don't think there was ever a time Dan Hyun looked at Kai and saw anything other than her slighted friend (which is very romanticized, but SHE is very romanticized), it was just about getting Kai to see that too.

She locked him down the best she could, yelled, cried, and beat the shit out of him, but ultimately, preserved his life. After the crucible had been fired and Thane (alive ofc) attended to, she sought to right things between her and Kai: whatever form that takes. Who knows if he'll ever be able to live comfortably in society again-- but at least here, he has the chance.

Random Tidbits:

Some notes! At his best, I like that Kai is portrayed as Loyal, Hard Working, Methodical, Clever, Tenacious, and Factual. I think sometimes he can be written off unfairly as wimpy or scared, but in truth, he's very sure of his abilities and able to calculate his chances extremely well. He's smarter than fandom gives him credit for.

He has an interesting conflict between arrogance based on title and humbleness. He knows he wants to be the best but he never airs it-- like when Rasa suggests that he wants to be the leader for Humanity but he grows quiet and says to just focus on where things are at right now.

His time as a soldier absolutely affected him in ways I think sharpened him to the killer he became. It instilled values that remained with him in Cerberus, such as when he berates Bates for abandoning his squad and calls him a traitor. Kai doesn't betray-- he's quite literally ride or die.

Also? The ninja sword is super dumb because Kai is Chinese and the swords and Phantom's themselves are designed to appear Japanese in aesthetic. Ninjas= Japanese, but China did have their own sect of Assassins which I believe gave birth to Wu Ching as a type of Martial Arts? Or was drawn from it hmm

To keep to accuracy, Kai would have trained more towards their martial art techniques which focuses on close combat and quick movements, as well as the use of dual blades called butterfly swords (You'd likely recognize them as a set of rogue daggers).

That's all for that meta! Phew. If anyone actually read to the end, hey wassup, hope you enjoyed, and take most of this with a grain of salt since it's my headcanons and background work :) Thank you again for reading!

[jesuisgourde]

i fully understand people’s inability or unwillingness to admit that a person they loved attempted suicide, like i understand that it’s a really difficult thing to do because admitting that to yourself can also come with loads of guilt about not seeing the signs and admitting that someone was that unwell etc etc. it’s probably especially hard when there’s no body so you can’t have that final proof of “oh he killed himself so that previous attempt was definitely an attempt” and because thinking that sort of thing and accepting that sort of thing without a body is also probably accompanied with a whole other level of guilt and questions etc.

so part of me fully understands where rachel comes from when she says both in wt and in this podcast interview from 2020 that she’s not sure if richey’s suicide attempt that landed him in whitchurch was a “real attempt”

but like. he left a note. a farewell note with funeral instructions like what music to play and who should be there. they transcribe the note in the book. he stopped calling his friends/family and he fucked up his flat and he drank a bunch and smoked some weed and slit his wrists in the bathtub. i don’t know what else that could be?

especially considering the studies that talk about rehearsal suicides where the person will do pretty much everything up to a truly lethal act, and those studies say that someone who enacts a rehearsal suicide or an attempt and fails is most likely to try again and be successful in the 6 month period after an attempt or rehearsal. and those studies say someone who is struggling with comorbid psychiatric problems or substance abuse are even more likely to do so.

also like an actual genuine suicide attempt can also be a cry for help. if someone attempts suicide but survives there are essentially only two options: accept help or refuse it.

i mean i have a whole theory about celebrities and suicides and how often people start going on about murder theories when a famous musician or actor kills themselves. because so many people just cannot imagine what it’s like to be suicidal, or cannot conceive that someone they admired might have been hurting enough to want to die.

idk like i fully understand questioning did he kill himself or decide to disappear thing because there is no body. like i think the previous history tells us the most likely scenario but i understand the questioning due to lack of information. people like closure and they like life to be logical and make sense. but i don’t understand at all questioning the first attempt because like what the hell else would that be?

but now that i think about it i also suppose that deciding not to acknowledge richey’s first suicide attempt as an attempt makes it easier to consider other theories because then you don’t have to consider that previous action as something that was potentially repeated successfully.

[avengedcelery]

People keep treating the "I hate people using pronouns" "well I is a pronoun" thing as this silly thing that we shouldn't be doing because it's not their real issue and they want to murder us regardless and like. Idk it always felt like that wasn't really for them. I think in part it was a little for us because it's funny to see people like that make a fool of themselves but also I think it's important for the "neutrals" to see that transphobes don't know what they're talking about. I think if I had no idea of anything queer and saw a an exchange like that I think I'd be more hesitant to fall down a transphobic rabbit hole because I don't want to be aligned with someone that ignorant.

There's that post about not wanting to change every transphobes mind but wanting to remove the power of their transphobia and the same people who will agree with that post act like reminding trnasphobes what a pronoun is somehow harmful to the movement? Like. We can't change their minds and debating with them is so rarely successful while being detrimental when it's not. The only thing we can do is shut down their attempts at debate without making them feel empowered (because they'll assume you think you can't win if you just back down) and try to stop anyone from being like them while we fight for our right to exist.

I think some people have the microblog disease where everything has to be said or done in one succinct post or thread or action (see also: voting doesn't do enough so don't vote). Activism is about everyone doing what they can and having each person or group's different kinds of efforts culminating into one big push for change. Giving transphobes a pithy English lesson to shut them down isn't invalidated because it doesn't stop them from being transphobes. It's just one tool in our arsenal to get them to stop hurting us.

[ruby-whistler]

all /dsmp /rp /nm, a reply to someone bringing up some good points and some i disagree with in the replies of this post

tw // physical & mental abuse, torture, murder

@bellovebug

the point about consent and sacrifice is a good call - ghostbur really didn't want to die, but to be fair, neither did dream.

i think that's the main reason why both the attempts, whether successful or not, were wrong. you don't really have the right to take away another person's life, though dream's life was being threatened, while tommy couldn't be more safe from a man who was stuck being physically and mentally abused - granted, tommy didn't know that, but dream also didn't know ghostbur wasn't aware this was a murder attempt. the point, both tommy and dream were wrong, and their actions are understandable to different degrees.

one could argue it was never mentioned that ghostbur stayed behind, and wilbur slowly getting his memories could be interpreted as them merging (which, that would be a much happier ending than having to choose between the two, wouldn't it), but those are all theories, so let's look at it from the most widely-accepted perspective.

it is true that ghostbur never hurt dream, he's really the only innocent person in all of this (ranboo and tubbo standing by while tommy ropes him into all of this with lies, sam ignoring the danger he was in and dream actually killing him) but dream has been being subjected to giant amounts of psychological and bodily pain for almost 50 days now (exile lasted around 13-26 days in comparison) on top of prolonged solitary confinement, classified as torture (because it is) by the UN, for about 85 days now (i think? might be more).

sam and quackity put dream in a situation where his only escape from possible death and months of constant agony leading up to it was killing someone who seemed like they had just tried to get him killed, and i think that's the best way to describe the situation + tommy getting ghostbur into this position in the first place.

not considering the fact that ghostbur was a hostage and both sam and tommy acted the worst possible way you could in a situation like that (ignorance and aggression), both of which drove dream to believe reviving wilbur was the only way.

"Ghostbur never murdered him three times lmao." to be fair, tommy murdered dream two times as well, and unlike tommy's two initial deaths which were in war context where both had consented to risking them for their ideals, and the third one being a direct consequence of solitary confinement or "double-celling" (i encourage you to look that stuff up, very dark but also interesting), tommy's killings of him were after he had surrendered and followed all orders given to him, and besides that being a war crime (let's be honest dsmp doesn't have the geneva convention) it was very cruel. so i'd say that was probably more than enough payback for that already.

"It's not something tommy WANTED to do, but something tommy that he NEEDED to do for the safety of the entire server." *something tommy thought he needed to do. i think we all can agree he has a bad habit of blaming everything bad that's ever happened on a single individual. like the moment wilbur got revived he went "wilbur this was all because of you" and i'm like. oh cool you've picked a new scapegoat lmao

i know from tommy's perspective he was trying to kill someone who has hurt him, but looking from dream's perspective he was trying to kill someone who was in a terrible situation, never given a chance to be on the good side and slowly losing hope for recovery + ever getting out of the hell that his life's become.

tommy's perspective is the only one from which dream's threatening in any way, from any other pov dream is just miserable and desperate and clinging on to any hope he can find so he doesn't just let himself die to end the pain. that is incredibly dark, which is why dream being treated as "oh look he's a big bad villain again he never changed" because of this incident rubs me the wrong way. he did change, even if not for the better, he was broken and is actively being broken and no one on the entire server is there to help him, while people like sapnap tell him they'll kill him if he tries to escape from the situation and people like sam stand by.

"genuine proof and logical reasons to believe would break out and hurt him and others." but that's the point of ptsd. it makes you think illogically and be terrified of something without being given present reason to think it'll hurt you. so yeah, as someone who's going through that, i understand tommy in a sense, but i don't think there's anything logical to it.

"He can't feel safe while dreams alive" but tommy can feel safe! there is no reason to kill dream, there has never been any reason to kill dream. that's what recovery from trauma is; being able to move past irrational fears based on past experiences. that is not, and will never be achieved by causing further hurt and destruction.

"purely for self gain, where tommy tried to kill dream for the benefit of himself and others" tommy was acting irrationally and doing something wrong and unnecessary because of his personal feelings and beliefs. the only danger present from dream was him giving quackity the revive book, because oh boy that man would/will do terrible things with it. idk if i'd call getting away from an abusive situation "purely for self-gain", but i digress.

"an abuser killing an innocent to free himself from what happened as a result of hurting so many other people" dream in this situation is the victim. dream was an abuser for two to four weeks, and granted he did terrible, irreversible harm to c!tommy, but at the present moment he's the victim who is trapped with no means of retaliation against those who are hurting him.

he did hurt people, but never even close to such a scale as is being done to him, so you can't call it karma, and even if in some alternate universe he did, no one deserves that kind of treatment. so, to rephrase; "a victim desperate to get away from a hopeless situation and killing an innocent who seemingly tried to help kill him, because his ultimatum in the situation of not being tortured anymore was not met."

"I don't think that excuses tommy wanting to kill dream, but i think it's a lot more justified and a lot more reasonable" all in all, i don't think it's justified at all. from tommy's perspective, the motivation is there, but it's still not "understandable" because it's just plain wrong with no real positives for anyone. dream reviving wilbur and holding ghostbur hostage is justified, and him doing it against ghostbur's wishes is understandable considering his situation, but not right in any way, shape or form.

hope this didn't come off as too aggressive! i'm just invested in the prison arc, and i guess people's bad takes (someone said dream deserved to be tortured more because of this, prime give me strength) kinda got to me so i made that post to kind of contextualize dream's actions, but i appreciate the interest in civil discussion! :]

[littleoddwriter]

BoP!Roman Sionis has BPD (in my opinion) | Headcanon

Disclaimer: This is purely a headcanon with some “evidence” from the film. I have been diagnosed with BPD. This is by no means meant to invalidate any other headcanons (like the Bipolar one, which I’ll also mention here). Please don’t come for my ass, thanks!

Personally, I headcanon BoP!Roman Sionis to suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). For one, I have been diagnosed with it, so I feel more connected to him through that (so, I may be projecting a liiittle bit). But he also shows quite a few signs for it, albeit it probably wasn’t intentional, nor does he have to have a specific disorder assigned to him anyway. Still!

I saw a lot of people assign Bipolar Disorder to him from the day the movie premiered, and while I can’t deny the possibility, nor do I want to take away anyone’s headcanon, one reason why I was always a bit “Hhh, idk” with it is because his mood swings are way too rapid. They happen in such quick succession, whereas Bipolar Disorder is known for- not gradual, but more long-lasting and slower changing moods/mood swings. BPD on that note happens in moments, almost. You can be feeling like you’re on top of the world, a God even, in one  moment, and the very next - usually because of a trigger - you plummet, you feel everything at once, it is overwhelming. Most common are anxiety, guilt, or anger. Rage. Which Roman displays. He is also quick to calm down after an episode and act as if nothing has happened at all, which is also quite common in people with BPD.

It is of course possible that he has Bipolar and BPD. I’ve met some people who suffered from both (and more). It’s possible and quite common, since BPD often comes with other disorders anyway. They don’t cancel each other out. So, if anyone headcanons him with Bipolar, then that’s what he has and you can do whatever you want with that, I support that. I just feel as if sometimes people reached a quick verdict because the mood swings were so potent that they might have immediately connected it to Bipolar, because that’s pretty much all that people usually know about it. Or someone who suffers from it has seen Roman and thought “I see myself in that” and that’s super valid because that’s basically what I’m doing here, too. I still thought I’d bring it to attention, since it almost became Fanon at one point and I just felt as though the more plausible answer has been overlooked all this time, I’m not going to lie.

Onto the signs/”evidence” of Roman suffering from BPD that I found/have personally interpreted that way (again, you can interpret/headcanon whatever you want):

Please note that there are 9 Symptoms of BPD that are used to diagnose people. You have to show at least 5 of them to qualify for a diagnosis. It can’t be diagnosed before the age of 18, and it’s important that the symptoms have been going on for a long time in a certain pattern that aligns with BPD, rather than anything else because most BPD symptoms are ones that show in other disorders as well.

Intense fear of real or imagined abandonment and frantic attempts/efforts to stop said abandonment from happening: Roman is shown to 1) not handle rejection well at all (example: Keo, Dinah’s betrayal - and his reaction), 2) cling onto other people (example: Dinah), 3) need reassurance that he’s not being betrayed/abandoned (example: Dinah), etc. You get the idea. He reacts extremely to these things. Mr Keo rejects him? He gets murdered. Dinah betrays him? He breaks down completely.

Intense mood swings: What I said above - his mood swings are quick and extreme. He’s agitated, even raging, in one moment and in the next he jumps up, is giddy and excited, as though nothing ever happened.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation: Just like moods, and helped by the black/white thinking, opinions of other people can change in a heartbeat. Also characterised by a BPD-exclusive thing, called Splitting. One moment you’ll love someone to the moon and back, then they make one mistake, change their tone, anything, and you hate them, they’re evil, you want them gone. Sounds as unhealthy and exhausting as it is. Again with Dinah - she used to just be a singer in his club, which he was fascinated by. She comforted him. Suddenly, he made her his new driver and his opinion of her didn’t necessarily change, but it intensified, he “loved” her more than anything, or anyone else at that time - idealised her (I’d say that she momentarily was his new Favourite Person (FP, also BPD exclusive), even though Zsasz has been his FP for over a decade by then). Then she betrayed him and while he didn’t want Zsasz to kill her immediately, you could say that he may have wanted to do it himself. He definitely hated her at that point. She was evil, a betrayer. She needed to be gone. 

Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self: Basically, I’d say that his carefully constructed vain facade is part of it. I think he built this flamboyant, outgoing persona to appeal to others and be able to socialise better. He lives off of approval and attention, and the best way to get it is to be loud and eccentric the way we know him in the film. And he is narcissistic to a fault, which you could attribute to BPD as well, but also his lack of a clear sense of self, therefore forcing it by idealising himself almost. Just my thoughts, though. The more valuable evidence for this is Black Mask. Roman has this different persona, both as protection, and as a means to let go, to get away from himself, to be even more cruel, etc. But he doesn’t always make use of it, hell, for all we know, the end of the movie really was the first time (in a long time, perhaps) he’s actually been Black Mask. I believe that he doesn’t really know who he is, or who he wants to be. Black Mask knows it, though, and he is better in ways that Roman can’t push himself to be. At least that’s my take on it. I just feel as if Roman’s very flamboyant and eccentric persona is something he consciously built, that it’s someone he pretends to be, even though deep down he knows he’s not that. Or maybe it’s just a part of him that he amplifies because he doesn’t know what else there is to him, doesn’t see anything else significant to himself. You know?

Impulsive and often dangerous behaviours: Roman abuses substances (he takes drugs, drinks alcohol), especially when he is trying to cope after being rejected (Keo). Other things would only be speculation, so I won’t list them, but it’s safe to say that he does show this symptom.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights): Not much to say to that, if you’re reading this, you have seen the film and know exactly why I say that he clearly shows this symptom.

Paranoia and Dissociation: It’s not an entirely clear thing, but I’d argue that it’s safe to say that he shows clear signs of dissociation and paranoia. [I’d also say he is shown to be psychotic (he’s definitely delusional and has auditory hallucinations, so- psychosis).] For the paranoia, I doubt I have to say a lot about this, but- Black Canary again. “You wouldn’t betray me, would you?” after he’s already been betrayed by Harley and then Erika, who he thought has been laughing at him. He can’t trust anyone. Not even Zsasz, apparently. Because when Victor told him Dinah is a rat, he asked him “Are you sure?”, making it clear that in this very moment, he didn’t trust him either. I feel like he probably doesn’t even trust Victor as blindly as we were made to believe anyway, due to his paranoia. [Now for the psychosis: You can hear too loud and distorted laughter when Keo rejects him, when Erika supposedly laughed at him, and when Victor tells him Dinah is a rat. I’d say that it’s safe to assume that he hears this laughter in his head - auditory hallucinations.] He also dissociates, when he becomes Black Mask, and when he is having an episode because of the diamond being stolen. Only Victor could ground him by intense physical contact and seeking just as intense eye contact. 

As you can see, I can assign 7 of the 9 criteria to Roman (the two that have been left out were self-harming/suicidal behaviour and chronic feelings of emptiness, both of which I can’t determine through what we’ve been shown in the film, so). 

Still, to me, he may as well suffer from both BPD and Bipolar, which would make his psychosis even more likely (psychosis can also be caused by BPD, but actual hallucinations are less common, usually we are more likely to “only” experience delusions).

If anyone’s even read all of this - What are your thoughts on this? Do you think it’s plausible? Did you have a wholly different opinion? I’d love to hear anything people have to say, as long as it is respectful!

[piratejct]

* 𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐲, 𝐜𝐢𝐬-𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 + 𝐡𝐞 / 𝐡𝐢𝐦 | you know 𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐲 “𝐬𝐢𝐝” 𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮, right? they’re 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 by 𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫𝐬 like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭’𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟎𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐨 thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is 𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝟏𝟔𝐭𝐡, so they’re a 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

NAME: kassidy averescu  NICKNAME(S): sid. strictly sid  D.O.B: january 16th, 1996 AGE: 25 BIRTH PLACE: irving, north carolina  CURRENTLY RESIDING: irving, north carolina SEXUALITY: bi-curious, but we don’t talk about it  OCCUPATION: entitled twat / pesky lil crook 

tw: mentions of gangs, crime, drugs, weapons, attempted murder but not really. 

BACKSTORY: 

born and raised in irving, has lived in the same freakin’ mansion in aquila drive pretty much his whole life. serving you the full rich boy fantasy, except it’s all rotten. illegal as shit. his mother, who’s been pretty much an outlaw since she was in her early twenties, literally runs like a tiny little crime organization where she recruits family members and people she finds trustworthy enough to pull off heists and just... earn all that $$$ in ways that could get you seriously fucked if anyone ever found out. she’s quite powerful and.. frankly quite scary for a woman in her late fifties. truly knows how to get shit done. i mean.. she trained her kids to be semi successful young criminals, so.. that’s pretty badass of her. 

to be fair, though, he still had a childhood. he wasn’t, like, laundering money at the age of six. growing up, he obviously wasn’t exposed to a lot of illegal stuff. would get whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and didn’t even question it. thought for the longest time that his mother really was this successful business lady or whatever, and all the shady people in their living room past 10pm were just other company owners. 

never met his dad. guy’s been out of the picture since before his mother even knew she was pregnant. has few half-siblings, though none of them probably has the same father as their mom was never one for commitment. sid fully leaves the half part out when talking about them, because.. well, they all pretty much grew up together, so that makes them 100% siblings. 

he’s the only boyo in the family and uhh... sometimes it’s as if he believes he deserves special treatment because of it??? idk. 

did well enough in high school, got accepted to college in charlotte on a swimming scholarship even though the fam had more than enough money to pay for the studies. but, he was a good swimmer and.. it was recognized. he used to compete a little and even won a couple of times, but.. he still wanted more. started getting greedy. grew up getting everything handed to him, was the best on the high school swimming team so when he went off to college and met another guy who was maybe even slightly better?? oh, hello, he was not gonna take it. i think that was like the first time he felt properly jealous. threatened to shit. at that point in his life, he was aware of the stuff his mother had been pulling, having been involved a couple of times before. so, he thought he could just take the matter into his own hands and once before a competition, he crushed up a bunch of sleeping pills and had someone slip them into the dude’s gatorade. guy literally passed out in the water and almost drowned. to nobody’s surprise, the competition was put on hold and sid literally had the audacity to be like ??? what !! but he passed out, so .. how does that not mean i win??? 

anyways, the accomplice felt so horrible about this, they told on him and sid was obviously kicked out of uni. in fact, the whole situation was serious enough for people to want to take it even further (aka to court) but that’s where sid’s mom stepped in and did some of her ~ magic ~ to get her shit child, as well as the overall family name, out of trouble. she was so, so disappointed, though. like, wow, she went in on him, and he cried like a little bitch on the ride home. hasn’t spoken of this incident since, but if you bring it up, he’ll stick to the story the guy just passed out. not his fault. don’t hold it against him. <3 

has grown a lil since the incident. learned to be more careful when it comes to sabotage. now, he’ll smile to the opponents face, lose with grace, and afterwards get his revenge if he’s feeling petty enough. 80% of the time, he is. 

currently lives with the fam and is very involved in the whole.. heisting. gets a massive kick out of it, tbh. 

PERSONALITY: 

um, first of all, he’s absolutely unhinged. quite unpredictable. like, he’s not necessarily always ready to stab someone, but there are moments where he just does something and you’re like ??? oh my fucking god, please stop. literally, whenever he’d get angry abt something he’d go a little off the rails and maybe shoot the radio or the tv and his mom wld jst be like ... it’s okay, baby. go at it. i’ll let you shoot one object a week. whatever makes you feel better <3 so yea, in a way she... encouraged a lot of this behavior?? idk, i don’t wanna point fingers, but if she had let him.. not be a brat for a second, he wld maybe be a different person today. rip. 

restless. so fucking restless. and you know what does not help?! all the coke he does! and molly! and other shit that doesn’t do any good when your mind is already going hundred miles per minute. yum, yum. 

absolutely thrillseeker. he just wants to feel stuff. adrenaline rush 24/7. can somewhat contain himself enough not to mess up when on a job, but in his free time?? he’ll literally get someone to ram his head into a wall and freakin’ laugh abt it. it’s a mess. a riot. 

omg ... has the nasty tendency of handling weapons like they’re toys. will spontaneously do shit like a point a gun at you or put it in his mouth and be like ... yo yo yo. thinks it’s funny? i honestly don’t know what’s going thru his mind. 

because his thoughts move at the speed of light, he also tends to speak super fast when he’s all riled up abt something. also knows a bit of asl n ... its actually quite scary how fast he can sign along. 

doesn’t hold back. if he feels strongly abt something, he’ll prob voice his opinion. isn’t afraid to be like “i hate that guy and i don’t want him around” when the guy is literally stood there like ?? chill. i just came to get my copy of great gatsby ??

acts like he’s the shit. conceited prick. self-proclaimed big dick energy, but if u look closer, it reeks of insecurities. absolutely never point that out. 

genuinely offended when he can’t be the best/most skillful person in the room, esp if it it’s something he considers himself good at. has bit of a hard time admitting defeat. 

fr the most part, his bark seems bigger than his bite. has definitely tried resolving conflicts by going “mooooooom!!!!” at the age of twenty-fuckin’-five. manbaby realness. 

guess he can be bit of a fuckboi?? sleeps with a bunch of ladies while looking at boys from afar and going ..... *heavy sigh*. has had a crush on.. quite a few, but he’d rather eat his own hair than ever publicly admit to it. 

though, he’s by no means homophobic. jst ... a little unsure of his sexuality n it makes him a lil insecure. bt.. vulnerabilities and ... that sorta stuff?? pfft. not in his household. 

also . don’t call him kassidy. he won’t respond. unless you’re his mom. and you’re angry. then he might weep. 

WCS: 

um. i’ll make a list at some point maybe bt until then.... come punch him in the gut? <3 

[thebluelemontree]

On this note: “ Another way of saying Littlefinger didn’t bet on Sandor is that he didn’t account for him.” I know people say that Varys was behind the bread riot, but there’s some speculation around that it was actually LF and Mandon Moore was one of his men. Moore abandons Sansa in the riots and I think that was staged. LF didn’t account for Sandor saving her. What he planned on doing to her - maybe an escape? IDK.

People say a lot of things in this fandom, let’s put it that way.  We see in no POV’s account that there is any evidence of attempted kidnapping on Sansa during the riot, let alone a whole conspiracy to commit kidnapping that was thwarted.  Let’s remember, Tyrek Lannister was the one that got snatched here (allegedly, technically he’s only known to be missing).  If anyone was specifically targetted, it was him.

The bread riot was always a powder keg waiting to explode.  No one person orchestrated it.  The Tyrells had cut off food supplies from the Reach when they stood with Renly against Stannis and Joffrey.  Prices are ridiculously high, and basic foodstuffs are scarce.  There’s rampant lawlessness in the streets as well as a bloody flux.  There’s open talk of rebellion among the guilds and merchants. Tyrion is burning down all homes and shops between the water and the city walls in preparation for Stannis’s attack.  This is going to displace hundreds, maybe thousands of poor people.  Joffrey is executing antler men and personally shooting bolts into unarmed, starving citizens.  Begging brothers are preaching damnation of the corrupt nobility, including charging them with incest, birthing monsters, and reveling under demonic influence.  The Lannister-Baratheons could not be more hated than they are at that moment.  We have to remember that at the time of the riot, Littlefinger was well away at Bitterbridge and then went on to High Garden to negotiate with Mace Tyrell for the then widowed Margaery’s hand.  He already has his man Dontos plotting with Sansa in the godswood, gaining her trust, so she leaves willingly when the time is right.  A second kidnapping/escape plot overcomplicates everything is totally unnecessary.  If Moore was supposed to be LF’s man, why wouldn’t he just lead Sansa away to a rendezvous point under the pretense of eluding the mob?  That would have been simple and plausible as her shield.  Just abandoning her in the swarm doesn’t speak to a plan that has to go off without any mishaps.  

On the other hand, Varys is the one official still in the city who was noted by Jaime to be conspicuously absent from seeing Myrcella off to Dorne.  Varys, who claimed to have informants all over the city, yet he never forewarned Cersei of any possible riot.  Again, it’s Tyrek that disappears without a trace.     

Sorry for the long wait.  I actually had to take some time to re-read and reflect on Mandon Moore.  I think it’s a really bad place to start the speculation with the assumption that he must be working for someone at all.  My conclusion is that he’s not working for anyone, and he doesn’t have to be to do what he does.  He is a guy motivated by naked self-interest and personal advancement, and that does not necessarily equate with greed or being in anyone’s pocket.  IMO, I think he has traits similar to a corporate psychopath (though he’s obviously down for murder too) than anything else.  Let’s just focus on how his characterization is described first.

Jaime had once told him that Moore was the most dangerous of the Kingsguard—excepting himself, always—because his face gave no hint as what he might do next. – Tyrion I, ACOK.

He’s described as appearing corpse-like with eyes that are “oddly flat and lifeless.”  He’s cold and emotionless.  Most notably, Ser Mandon has ties to no one.      

Lord Arryn brought him to King’s Landing and Robert gave him his white cloak, but neither loved him much, I fear. Nor was he the sort the smallfolk cheer in tourneys, despite his undoubted prowess. Why, even his brothers of the Kingsguard never warmed to him. Ser Barristan was once heard to say that the man had no friend but his sword and no life but duty … but you know, I do not think Selmy meant it altogether as praise. Which is queer when you consider it, is it not? Those are the very qualities we seek in our Kingsguard, it could be said—men who live not for themselves, but for their king. By those lights, our brave Ser Mandon was the perfect white knight. – Tyrion II, ASOS.

Of all the things said about him, nowhere does anyone suggest it is in Mandon Moore’s character to want anything outside of his career within the kingsguard.  He has a single-minded focus on duty and serving the king in an almost robotic level of obedience.  No one can tell what goes on behind that blank expression.  If a man’s motivations are unknowable, you can’t predict future behavior.  Mandon Moore does not strike me as someone who would fall prey to bribery or blackmail.  He’s not ideologically motivated, nor is he someone a conspirator can confidently rely on to carry out a task without risk of being double-crossed.  If we look at men Littlefinger has taken into his service like Ser Dontos, the Kettleblacks, Janos Slynt, Nestor Royce, Lothor Brune, Lyn Corbray, there’s always a glaring weakness to be exploited, be it greed, excessive/wounded pride, addiction, closeted homosexuality, desperation, debt, estrangement from family, desire to rise from the underclass, lack of better options, etc.  Mandon doesn’t have any of these vulnerabilities.  

So what did I mean by having traits in common with a corporate psychopath, though?  Varys talks about Mandon being “the perfect white knight” and possessing the ideal qualities of a kingsguard.  Certain types of corporate psychopaths can wear a facade of traits that the business world desires and values.  They can seem like the perfect employee that the company leadership can rely on.  They appear to be fearless and unwavering in their drive for success, sometimes even earning praise and recognition for outright ruthlessness.  Their sometimes apparent lack of emotions could be read as having the grit to do what is necessary in times of turmoil.  Most use manipulative tactics to discredit, undermine, or sabotage coworkers and superiors alike just to get ahead, which I will show is relevant in Moore’s case.  Everyone is either a potential pawn, patron, or enemy to be eliminated.  Not all psychopaths have superficial and grandiose charm, and no one would accuse Mandon of being charming, but he does put himself out there to be seen as indispensably valuable to the king.

Let’s go back to the bread riot and why Mandon Moore abandoned Sansa’s side as her shield.

Tyrion pressed blunt fingers into his throbbing temples. If Sansa Stark had come to harm, Jaime was as good as dead. “Ser Mandon, you were her shield.”

Ser Mandon Moore remained untroubled. “When they mobbed the Hound, I thought first of the king.”

“And rightly so,” Cersei put in. “Boros, Meryn, go back and find the girl.“  – Tyrion IX, ACOK.

I see no sign that there’s any duplicity going on here when he’s questioned.  Mandon Moore acted in a way he believed the king and the queen regent (his patrons) would approve of.  The traitor’s daughter’s life doesn’t mean anything to Joffrey, and she is only a secondary thought of the queen’s after they are safe within the castle; therefore, she is not a useful pawn to him.  If Mandon Moore shows any desire for anything at all, it’s this:  Sandor Clegane’s privileged position with the Lannisters.  Joffrey ordered Sandor to go after the peasant that threw the dung.  As Sandor is mobbed (and it would be reasonable to wager he’ll be imminently killed), Ser Mandon seized the opportunity to swoop in as Sandor’s replacement, dropping Sansa like a hot potato.  There is a reason he keeps being ironically regarded as the white knight in shining armor.  He’s a real Johnny on the spot that one.  Even if Sandor somehow isn’t killed, Moore still comes out looking like the kingsguard that did not falter in his duty to protect the king even in all the confusion and chaos.  It’s an opportunistic upstaging of a colleague to discredit his effectiveness at his job.  It proves shortsighted on his part because Sandor not only survives but has Sansa, still a valuable Lannister hostage, alive and in tow.      

This will come up again at the Battle of the Blackwater when Sandor finally breaks from the wildfire.  Tyrion orders Sandor to continue leading sorties outside the city walls, but he refuses.  Guess who chimes in?

Ser Mandon Moore moved to Tyrion’s side, immaculate in his enameled white plate. "The King’s Hand commands you.”  

“Bugger the King’s Hand.” Where the Hound’s face was not sticky with blood, it was pale as milk. “Someone bring me a drink.” A gold cloak officer handed him a cup. Clegane took a swallow, spit it out, flung the cup away. “Water? Fuck your water. Bring me wine.”

He is dead on his feet. Tyrion could see it now. The wound, the fire … he’s done, I need to find someone else, but who? Ser Mandon? He looked at the men and knew it would not do. Clegane’s fear had shaken them. Without a leader, they would refuse as well, and Ser Mandon … a dangerous man, Jaime said, yes, but not a man other men would follow. – Tyrion XIII, ACOK.

Since when has Moore ever shown any deference to Tyrion’s authority before?  Never.  This is a performance for his situational patron, part of Moore’s facade.  What is suggested by vocally taking Tyrion’s side is that Moore wants Tyrion to name him commander.  He would see the opportunity to take Sandor’s place by not only highlighting the latter’s disobedience, but his posturing implies that he wouldn’t hesitate to carry out the Hand’s orders.  It’s also a boon that Sandor’s behavior is quickly tanking any remaining confidence in his courage and leadership ability.  Moore must have thought himself the natural choice to assume command as he is a kingsguard and a capable fighter, but he could not have foreseen Tyrion absorbing Jaime’s counsel.  Instead, Tyrion decides to lead the sorties himself, shaming anyone that doesn’t follow as being less than a dwarf.  Being named the king’s standard-bearer, as Ser Mandon was, is usually considered a high honor.  A corporate psychopath wouldn’t see it that way.  It’s a piss poor consolation to being led around by someone he would consider a lesser man.  Battle is where a knight earns his commendations and honors, which we see in Sansa’s eighth chapter in Clash.  As commander of the sorties and his rival disgraced as a craven, Moore would have been the hero of the day should they emerge victorious.  Tyrion prevented that.  Moore would then be left with only one other option to assume leadership.  Tyrion has to fall on the battlefield.

“MY LORD! TAKE MY HAND! MY LORD TYRION!”

There on the deck of the next ship, across a widening gulf of black water, stood Ser Mandon Moore, a hand extended. Yellow and green fire shone against the white of his armor, and his lobstered gauntlet was sticky with blood, but Tyrion reached for it all the same, wishing his arms were longer. It was only at the very last, as their fingers brushed across the gap, that something niggled at him … Ser Mandon was holding out his left hand, why …  – Tyrion XIV, ACOK.

Ser Mandon’s sword comes down in his right hand and nearly kills Tyrion.  What Moore could not have anticipated was getting iced by Podrick Payne before he could finish Tyrion off.  There’s a simple elegance to Moore’s motivations being strictly his own.  There’s no complicated conspiracy needed to explain any of his actions.  He’s just a shark in a suit of armor.  But what about Varys implying there was a conspiracy to kill Tyrion with Moore as the catspaw?  It seems to validate Tyrion’s suspicions that it was Cersei, or at least someone.                  

Bronn had turned up all he could on Ser Mandon, but no doubt Varys knew a deal more … should he choose to share it. “The man seems to have been quite friendless,” Tyrion said carefully.

“Sadly,” said Varys, “oh, sadly. You might find some kin if you turned over enough stones back in the Vale, but here … Lord Arryn brought him to King’s Landing and Robert gave him his white cloak, but neither loved him much, I fear. Nor was he the sort the smallfolk cheer in tourneys, despite his undoubted prowess. Why, even his brothers of the Kingsguard never warmed to him.

… [the Barristan part already quoted above]

And he died as a knight of the Kingsguard ought, with sword in hand, defending one of the king’s own blood.” The eunuch gave him a slimy smile and watched him sharply.

Trying to murder one of the king’s own blood, you mean. Tyrion wondered if Varys knew rather more than he was saying. Nothing he’d just heard was new to him; Bronn had brought back much the same reports. He needed a link to Cersei, some sign that Ser Mandon had been his sister’s catspaw. 

Let’s not forget Varys benefits by furthering the rifts within the Lannister regime.  He can easily play to Tyrion’s paranoia by suggesting there’s more behind Mandon Moore’s murder attempt than there was.  He smiles and mentions Moore’s origins in the Vale, a gesture at Littlefinger most likely; however, there are no substantial breadcrumbs left behind to connect Moore to anyone.  We’re even reminded twice that Bronn’s investigation turned up nothing except what was already well-known.  There’s just no there there.  Tyrion is doing the same thing as the conspiracy theories by assuming that Moore has to be in someone’s pay, but his reasoning is faulty.

Jaime had always said that Ser Mandon was the most dangerous of the Kingsguard, because his dead empty eyes gave no hint to his intentions. I should never have trusted any of them. He’d known that Ser Meryn and Ser Boros were his sister’s, and Ser Osmund later, but he had let himself believe that the others were not wholly lost to honor. Cersei must have paid him to see that I never came back from the battle. Why else? I never did Ser Mandon any harm that I know of. – Tyrion XV, ACOK.  

He mistook Moore’s commitment to duty and obedience for having honor.  And yes, he did unintentionally cross Ser Mandon. He just didn’t know it because he couldn’t read the guy.  He couldn’t see beneath the surface, and that is why Jaime is correct in calling him the most dangerous.  One can never know for sure if this type of corporate psychopath sees you as their pawn, their patron, or their enemy at any given moment.  There’s no way to mount a defense against that unless you can understand who you are really dealing with.  Tyrion was just very, very lucky that he brought Podrick Payne with him into battle.                            

[erismerald]

MY NEW ROAD - Chapter 1

» Older Daniel Diaz x reader 

» Warnings: mature, romance, blood, gang                                             

Chapter 2

» So i was hoping i could read something about daniel diaz, at the end of 5 ep, and as i was sick of waiting,  so i decided to write a long short about older daniel diaz, so let's go :)

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep.

*A FEW HOURS EARLIER*

So HI!! My name is y/n, im 17 and right now I'm living on my own in Mexico, more property in puerto lobos.

I'm a very simple girl, I grew up in LA with my grandparents, I never met my parents, and during my life, my grandparents never told me about their daughter, they just told me that she had abandoned me when I was Little, and as for my father, they didn't know who she was, so I never really cared about that.

I've been living here for about six weeks,I study in a small americam school, near here. I'm loving living here I never thought, that a dream I had since I was little would come true so soon, I decided to live here, because I love Mexican culture and not to mention that living by the beach never tires anyone, and I still have the privilege of seeing the sunset disappear into the waves...

Since I was a child I was very shy and I don't know how to express myself to others anht this is the reason why I've not be able to make friends in this new school yet, I feel ashamed when they look at me or try to talk to me, it's complicated, however, I've always managed to make some friends in LA, people I talk to almost every single day.

it's already 7 am i think i should be preparing for school but i think laziness has won ahaha, I got up and tried to take as little time as possible, I don't want to be late again or Ms. Lopez will kick me out of her class again.

I was new to that school and it wasn't the first time I was late, which I can say I love sleeping, but I have to work harder to make sure that doesn't happen, and I'm going to start right now haha.

I tried to take as little time as possible, of course that for me it's kind of impossible, because, I still had to take a shower before going, but I think at least I won't be late this time, I look at the clock and OMG is already 7:50 and the classes start at 8:00, ahhhhh how will I get to school in 10... Afff so much effort for nothing, well at least I can still get to the beginning of the first class.

On the way to school, I saw him again... I think his name is Daniel, he's from my class but I never talked to him before, and to be honest, I never had the courage to talk to him, well... not only with him, I think with everyone in general, so far I haven't made any friends, except the lady from the apartment next door, and we only talk on Sundays, because we have the same way when we go to church.

  I think I've been looking at him too long... why do I say that? He's looking at me right now. I can't deny it he's beautiful... he's so mysterious, but from what I've seen of him, at school he's very fun, reserved, but fun.

I felt him staring at me, which made me completely ashamed, and my only option for not having to talk to him was to hit him and not, to look at him as I passed by, even with my back to him his gaze managed to make me feel a huge chill, but it's a good thing that I'm already arriving at school.

For real I didn't know what to tell him anyways.

When i arrived at school i came across Ms.Lopez on the way. And I think it was at this moment that I realized I was completely fucked up, I tried to go unnoticed, but without success.

And when I turned back I only saw her ferocious gaze directed at me.

"Miss l/n shouldn't be in class already. Preferably sitting at your desk waiting for me." - she looked at me with a deadly look on her face

"oh I finally find you y/n, thx for waiting for me, and here you have your Spanish book that you lent me." He looked at me and winked at me, so that I could continue with the theater.

"O-of course I do, Daniel, there's nothing to be thankful for" he stands next to me and takes my hand. And he gave me the book, I felt my heart go off a thousand an hour...When I lifted my face I saw his eyes glued on me, why did he protect me?

"Is that why you were late?" She looked at me and then at Daniel, I felt the anger in her eyes

"yes i decided to wait for daniel" i smiled at her, and i felt daniel put himself behind me

"Vamos, no te enojes con ella, maestra. Sólo fue esta vez (Come on, don't get mad at her, teacher. It was just this time .)" Daniel grabbed my shoulders and spoke, I saw Ms. Lopez calm her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Hum being so, i let you pass your delay this time you two have 5 minutes to introduce you in my class, and miss L/N thank the boy Daniel for helping her " his voice was calm now but his words were cold.

She continued on her way to the classroom, and I hear Daniel laughed

"You're welcome!" daniel said as my body moved, his voice was now hoarse, I sounded hypnotized by the voice of him.

"T-thank you for helping me." I tried to be short and quick in my answer. I was so nervous and idk why.

"let's go to class before Ms. Lopez decides to murder us, because we're late" daniel just went on her way but stopped 3 steps ahead of me.

"will have to pull you?" he laughs softly and throws a half smile, my heart, jumped a beat when i saw that smile.

"Y-yes" I just followed him.... When we arrived in the room each one sat in his seat, but for some reason, Daniel kept looking at me and it made me nervous for the rest of the time.

During the rest of the day, everything went as usual, except for the failed attempt by me to escape Daniel's gaze, I  don't know what he was looking for in me, but I think I managed to make him lose interest for a while. I think.

When I finally rang the exit bell, I was the first to leave for the first time, I didn't want to know anything else, I just wanted to get home and enjoy being alone.

When I walked through the school gate, I took a deep breath and tried to rearrange my ideas, how can something as simple as talking to a person make me so nervous?

I'll speed up the walk and look at the sky and then at the sea at the end of the street to calm myself down. I didn't understand what was going on this day but I just asked it to end quickly. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I've never had a boy look at me for so long, am I getting a crush on him? AHHHHH well  I hope not.

When I was almost at home, I felt a chill on my back and soon I could be able to realized what was happening....

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Not that voice, not again.

I turned slowly and there he was, did he follow me? When I looked at him I felt my face boiling with shame.

"Did the Cat eat your tongue?" he looked at me and laughed, and began to approach me.

I tried to ignore to not have to answer, I really suffered from many anxiety problems and did not know what to do in these situations.

"okay i got you, you don't want to talk to me don't worry" he looked at the floor and his cheerful expression went to sadness

"well see you tomorrow at school" when he was going to turn around and continue on his way i screamed

"WAIT"

He turned to me and smiled... OH God that smile was so sweet

"I thought you weren't gonna answer ahaha."

"I'm not ignoring you, or avoiding you...I'm just too shy to talk" I couldn't face his eyes so I just looked at the ground.

"Are you sure? I didn't want to get into it with Ms Lopez, but I knew if I didn't, she'd kick you out of her class" when I looked up I came across the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

It made me blush, involuntarily, I didn't know what to say.

"thank you...and it's okay, I'd be kicked out if it wasn't for you too, so thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome, I've always seen you being very shy with everyone and you don't seem to be the kind of person who would be late on purpose, well, I won't take up your time. See you tomorrow"

he said with a perverse smile on his face

"Oh and if tomorrow you want company for the school I can wait here for you".

I didn't have time to say anything else I just agreed and entered the building.

When I got home I lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling, trying to see what had happened, I didn't notice it, but I felt my body tired and ended up falling asleep.

"Daniel... Something about him attracted me...'

I opened my eyes very slowly, I looked at the window and it was already dark, I picked up my phone and turned it on, I had 5 unanswered calls from my grandmother, this was strange she didn't call me so often

I dialed her number and called...

"y/n honey is you?"

"yes Grandma, what's going on?  I'm sorry I was so tired that I fell asleep and didn't hear you call".

Without telling me anything else she felt like she was crying, but what happened to make my grandmother cry she hardly ever does, and when I say that she doesn't, it's because it's rare.

"Honey, I have something to tell you... Your mother is looking for you," those words left me unanswered, my mother?

No...

No...

Couldn't be, my mother abandoned me 16 years ago, for me she died... I started crying, that person who abandoned me 16 years ago, now its looking for me why? I had so many questions in my mind, I couldn't talk to anybody, I just need some time.

"honey are there? Y/n?" My grandmother called me...

"I'm sorry Grandma, I need to think a little, I'll call you later."

"darling no-" i hung up on her, i don't like to do this but i need time to process

I got up, grabbed my jacket and went out towards the beachWhen I got there I sat down on the sand, and watched the sea, and the waves coming at me, I didn't want to believe that my mother was looking for me, if she hadn't wanted me in 16 years, she wouldn't want me now.... Now I did not even want her back

At that moment I felt that I was not alone there, I turned around and saw a group of people coming towards me.

I got up quickly and tried to get out of there, but it was too late.

Fear sometimes makes us irrational, and at this moment I did not know what to do, I did not know how to react, I was scared, I felt one of the men grabbing me by the arms, and attached me to his body

"hey you, don't move so much kittens, let's talk"

The second man spoke and stood in front of me, and grabbed my face forcing me to look at him.

"so you're the Diaz little princess aren't you?" I wasn't noticing anything, I just tried to get away but without success, I wonder what would happen to me...

I tried to fight and I tried to let go, but unfortunately I only did worse, he pressed himself behind my back and won't let me go.

"Let's teach that boy a lesson, that's what he and his brother will pay to judge us dumb."

One of them pulled a knife out of his waist and approached me...

"NO PLEASE DON'T"

I started screaming, and crying madly, I was now completely scared.

At that very moment, I felt the blade pierce my skin... I didn't know what to do, I just tried to struggle

But when I turned my head, there he was, out of nowhere, the people around me were thrown away, I felt my body fall into the sand...

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep...

But to be honest I felt my body warm, from this moment on, it just got dark.

_______________________________________

[bindingties]

(( Obv I’ve been thinking abt a p.ersona 5 AU bc that’s who i am so im just gonna dump all the ideas i got in here & futz and add later or something idk i make aus via the ‘throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks’ method

also just bc this has been a problem lately & i lack the energy to deal w things after the fact rn: pls personals do NOT reblog my posts ^^ ))

Manfred

Manfred absolutely has a Palace.  Look at him.

The detention center / prison, courthouse, and prosecutor’s office all appear distorted, but I’m gonna go with the courthouse being the kinda ‘center’ and being where his Treasure actually is.

The detention center / prison looks like an extensive trophy room commemorating all of his won cases.  The trophies tend to have design elements that hint at the damning evidence and crime in question while also having the name of the defendant in question somewhere.  All of them are gold, except for the one representing the IS-7 case.  That one is a bronze and notably smaller in size.

Both the courthouse and the prosecutor’s office appear as temples that worship him as a god.  The office is a bit more like a bustling hub of priests that are incredibly incompetent.  The courthouse is grand and opulent with perfectly sculpted marble statues and busts of him.

There’s a slight infestation of insects which all have a pattern similar to the defense attorney badge.  They mostly scurry and run away from just about everything.  The Shadows take the form of judges, prosecutors, bailiffs, and detectives.

Safe Rooms correspond to defense lobbies.

There is a depiction of the DL-6 Incident actively showing Manfred shooting Gregory, but the style frames it more as a heretic being righteously smote than the reality of an unconscious man being shot by a petty fossilized man child.

There are cognitive versions of both Miles and Franziska and neither of them are great.  Cognitive Franziska actually still appears as child and would fight any intruders but, due to Manfred’s low opinion of her and her capabilities, she actually cannot win.  Cognitive Miles is dressed in that horrid Manfred-style red suit but like resembles Gregory to a much higher degree than Miles actually does.

The Treasure is held in a large, central courtroom.  In the Metaverse, it is a golden, weighed scale and, once brought out, is a prosecutor’s badge.

Also you bet him as a boss utilizes a lot of Electricity skills.  Also some Gun skills.  What can I say, I’m not that subtle. 

KAY

Kay vc: i can steal shit AND have superpowers?????? hell yeah!!!!

100% agree with @flairer Kay would be Sun Arcana with Yatagarasu P.ersona absolutely no doubt let’s go

Have nothing firm on how they actually.... get there???? Maybe during the Quercus Alba nonsense.

tfw an ambassador keeps flaunting diplomatic immunity so u just gotta come into incredible power to force the bastard to admit to murder himself

also just Akechi: my codename is Crow Kay: absolutely not u Mask☆DeMasque lookin motherfucker

not that im really trying to super integrate w the existing team, but kay was extremely offended by akechi’s codename choice & i have to share that

KLAVIER

Tragically started thinking that after Turnabout Succession, Klavier would develop a Palace due to worsening paranoia and lack of healthy coping. 

The distortion does cover the entire city... kinda? The thing is that Klav is very ‘the whole world’s a stage’ in an absolutely unhealthy way.  The layout and buildings are retained but it has the vibe of a music festival or other celebration?

Everything leads toward the courthouse though, which is 100% a very large and elaborate stage.  It’s hard to notice from the ground, but a tightrope is suspended way, way above it.  There is no safety net below it.  Just the cold, hard stage.

Shadow Klavier is always in the middle of a concert on that stage and the crowd oddly alternates between vicious heckling and overwhelming praise.  It turns on a dime and seems to have nothing to do with the actual performance.

Various cognitive versions of familiar faces exist in the Palace and perfectly match the mannerisms / personalities of the real counterparts... when talking to any Thieves.  If the subject of Klavier comes up, though, they tend to grow more harsh and disparaging toward him.

Cognitive Miles has the role of a manager and at first attempts to discourage any interaction with Shadow Klav because it might distract him and ruin the show.  He immediately relents, however, with the thought that he’s always wanted to fire Klavier and so any mishaps with the show would be the perfect excuse.

Shadow Klav isn’t that overly aggressive, but there are still traps and Shadows swarming the area.  While he is certainly civil, he does not hide his mistrust at all and can be surprisingly gloomy, though is somewhat like Shadow Futaba in that he’ll drop cryptic hints or express support for the Thieves’ actions.  

I love the idea of Klavier getting pulled into his own Palace due to Shenanigans™ and Cognitive Nick sees him and tells him he’s almost late for walking the tightrope and forces him toward it

Meanwhile Klav is just ‘wow idk what the hap is fuckening but my overwhelming sense of guilt compels me to do whatever Wright(?) says so i guess im abt to do a very dangerous stunt that will most certainly end in my death’

Shadow Klav does a very aggressive intervention because he does contain Klavier’s wish to help people.  He insists that Klavier cannot survive living solely like he’s a product to be consumed and destroyed.  A ticking time bomb of contradictory desires based on unknowable perceptions.

Meanwhile, Cognitive Nick grows more twisted and manipulative and begins to viciously antagonize and guilt-trip the hesitating Klavier.  The crowd likewise grows more and more restless and demanding of a spectacle.  Still, whether the crowd wants Klavier to succeed or fail is hard to determine.

Also like Manfred having a Palace kinda implies Nick as a Thief too and the idea of Nick also being there and seeing that this is how Klavier sees him is... oof ouch.

But yeah Shadow Klav is like “Are you going to continue to let yourself be chained to expectations?  Even when it will kill you?”

Obv Klav’s like “yeah, you know what? I will live for my own damn self.”  And comes into his P.ersona which is like... halfway unnecessary.  Cognitive Nick is just an asshole... not exactly a giant fucking sphinx

Can’t decide whether Klav’s Arcana is Death or Moon, though.  I like Death’s message of metamorphosis and change for him.  But also Moon’s got fun bits about facades and fear.

Nick afterward: hey um... i just wanna say that im so- Klav: i finally have some capacity to be mad at you without feeling like the scum of the earth for doing so so im gonna be 100% unashamedly pissed for a while just... give me some time. also im abt to sleep for 1000 years because holy shit

And yeah it’s not a 100% fix and Klav still has paranoia and the unhealthy perspective of being a product for consumption but like... he’s got somewhat better footing to seek and accept help.  And, likewise, does not have the subconscious desire to be hated so that he may self-destruct without guilt.  So, like, that’s a plus.