#idk words
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remember when u could drag the little pencil around and it would have a little trail of all the other options behind it i miss that 😔
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you have a way of returning to my heart that feels both amazing and delicate. and it might just not be the kind of way you were imagining.
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Being a criminal in Gotham(and others) must be such a weird experience bc you’re, on some level, expected to punch children. So many people makes jokes about punching children but what would a person actually feel in the moment, yes there’s the people that say fuck it and give no fucks but there’s also the people who look at a child and let their brain run off with thoughts leading to them not wanting to punch the child.
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Need a roommate to keep up with living cuz damn this shit hard
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As an afab transmasc who doesn't take testosterone I find the fact that I get TONS of toe hair very appalling
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one of the most aggravating things about making art, at least for me, is how quickly I forget how to do it. cause like k dont draw for q few days and suddenly I'm back to how shit was 3 months ago. like bro I'm just trying to draw silly little guys but that takes all my creative energy and then I don't draw for a bit. and the cycle continues. wtf.
#how am I meant to draw silly block guys if I can't draw??? where's all yhe whimsy#it also doesn't help that I've only been taking art seriously for like a year and. forget to draw for a while#idk words#ramblings
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not a loss, not a victory.
Was it my best? At the time, yeah, but I feel stupid looking in the rear view.
#i misunderstood the meaning of a word and it snowballed#also the way this is phrased probably sounds way more serious than it is so take this with a grain of salt jfhsifsihfluhfshf#*not a grain of salt i meant ignore it (?)#idk words#anyways whoops im going now
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if someone said this to me i would sob out of happiness and then give them head, i dont make the rules 🤷
fat girls are made for cuddling
#marsh with mic#unfortunately i am a chubby bunny#I DONT GET HOW PEOPLE LOOK SO FUCKING GORGEOUS NO MATTER WHAT BUT I HATE MY OWN BODY#the double standards#like omfg im on my knees for fat ppl but the second it comes down to me i’ll cry#idk words
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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things that change
I think about the things that change,
When I hold the fruit, the pomegranate
While I think about the things that stay
Like the way, I beg and pray
To see you, to feel you
One more day
Before the sea washes me away
Like a sea-weed, like the end of spring
#poetry?????#radio#silence.#writing#idk words#okay yeah#my shit#hmm#oh well#words words words#idk. idk.#poetry ig#silly little thing#yay#have this idkidk
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i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media
#sorry but genuinely sometimes i feel like we live in a fucking dystopia#i get ads of chat bots designed to look like cute girls who will listen to your problems and it. god#its so unbelievably strange in some indescribable way#how am i supposed to explain that the word unalive makes me want to tear my hair out#vent#rant#idk
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companions re-classed part 3 - shadowheart 🌌🌚🌝
*shadowdancer isn't a 5e rogue subclass, it's a 3.5e rogue-based prestige class, but it suits her so well and when i played 3.5e as a kid i thought it was the coolest thing ever lol so i wanted to use it
karlach 🔥 wyll ⚔️
#shadowheart#bg3#my art#*i still think it's the coolest thing ever#ngl tho i hate to speak a word against objectively the best class (rogue) it could use more weird spooky subclasses#rly the only cool supernatural one rn is phantom which i do like a whole lot but it didn't feel like a good fit for her#glad to get this done before succumbing fully to DA brain but idk what the fate of the final three will be lol#next up is lae’zel so im hoping the Do It For Her will motivate me
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actually. that post about how its important to have weird kinky queer friends. i think the same is true of really every type of ostracized person but in particular i wanna point it out wrt mentally ill people.
if you watch a movie villainizing DID or schizophrenia or something, and you think, "hey, this seems sort of like its based on what my friend has and theyre just a chill person, why are they making my friends condition seem threatening?" thats good.
if you see someone use narcissist as a synonym for abuser and you think, "what, no, im friends with someone who has NPD and i know theyre a kind person, this isnt true at all," thats good.
if you hear politicians try to frame addicts as violent criminals who should be locked up and you think "no, my buddy sam is just sick, their withdrawals are really painful and they dont have a good support system, they shouldnt be locked up for that," thats good.
being able to counter ableist rhetoric with "i know from experience thats not how these people are" is a good thing. like yeah obviously dont make friends with mentally ill people just for brownie points but also try to make the conscious effort to be open to friendship with people who have stigmatized mental health issues. and maybe even more importantly, be someone who makes it clear to others that youre safe to be open about these things with, because chances are youre ALREADY friends with mentally ill people even if you dont realize it, because a lot of us with more demonized conditions try to hide those conditions out of fear, and it helps a lot to know our friends are allies - and then we might feel safe discussing our experiences, IF we want to, and in turn that can help you better understand the realities and diversities of our situations and be less susceptible to ableist rhetoric.
#ok to rb#i dont feel like tagging though bc im not 100% confident in how i worded this#but idk how better to and i want it out there. idk
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critically consume my problematic dick and balls
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something about how shakespeare plays are scripts for performance but are now sold as books and read by people like they're novels. iwwv mirrors a shakespearean play in story but is written in novel format. so I wonder if a film adaptation of the book would serve the story well to circle this all back
apparently they're already trying to adapt this as a series but like. idk about that. wouldn't a movie work better?
#mine musings#liveblogging iwwv#i guess technically too much happens for a movie and richard has to die by the 45min mark but like#idk a series doesn't parallel to a play and doesn't work for my metaphor LMAO#analogy. whatever. i'm a STEM student#idk words
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